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#i just got back from the show and i am TIRED
itneverendshere · 23 hours
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tryin' to behave, but i'm feelin' some type of way - r.c drabble.
request: rafe x bitchy!pogue reader pleaseeeee!!!! he just hates that he wants her soo fucking bad and she finds it hilarioussss
warnings: it gets steamy but no smut!; slutshaming; they both need therapy okay.
felt like writing something out of the bartender!reader universe and had this request saved up on my notes, hope you enjoy 🫂 wrote this on my phone so if there’s any typos pretend you didn’t see them 🥰🥰🥰🥰
you’re out of place here, which is exactly why you’re here, tannyhill.
fuck them. fuck him.
every high-strung kook princess with their perfectly manicured nails gives you a quick once-over, nostrils flaring when they catch the sight of your scuffed-up boots. not that you care. it’s not like you’re trying to impress anyone.
and why should you? you’re only here for the free booze, it’s not your fault this place is such a bore. always all pearls, pastels, and the scent of white wine and privilege. who the fuck drank white whine at a party? but the real reason you’re here, the whole damn reason, is staring straight at you from across the room.
rafe cameron. ugh and yum.
he’s leaning against the bar, muscles taut under that fitted navy polo like he was born to flex, with a scowl as always. it’s always that look—the one that’s aimed solely at you, every time he sees you. it’s practically a tradition by now. you show up somewhere, he glares.
there’s a tightness in his shoulders, something tells you he’s going to snap eventually, maybe it’s because you’ve been pushing buttons lately. maybe it’s because he’s got his daddy’s expectations hanging over his head like a guillotine.
or maybe it’s just because he wants you, and that little inconvenient truth pisses him off to no end.
you flash him a slow, lazy grin, shifting your hips as you grab a beer from the cooler. when you catch the way his eyes drag over you, lingering on your exposed skin, your stomach hums with satisfaction.
let him look. let him stew in it.
“country club,” you call sweetly, raising your bottle in a mock toast, the light catching on the condensation like it’s winking at him. “how’s it going?”
his jaw ticks, his lips pressing into a thin, flat line. “you shouldn’t be here.”
“and yet, here i am,” you sing-song back, taking a slow, pointed sip. you’re feeling reckless tonight. he’s dangerous, sure. but he’s also predictable. you know exactly how to make it worse.  “aww, what’s wrong?”
you know exactly this’ll go. he’ll insult you, you’ll insult him back, and then—
his eyes narrow dangerously, that vein in his temple ticking. “what the fuck are you wearing?”
you blink innocently, glancing down at yourself. “clothes, obviously. why? does it bother you?”
“yeah,” he snaps, eyes raking over you again, lingering on the swell of your chest, the sliver of skin peeking out above your waistband. “aren’t you tired of slutting yourself around?”
your lips curl into a smirk, the slow burn of satisfaction warming your chest. this is exactly what you were hoping for.
“slutting myself around?” you echo, voice teasing. “didn’t know you were keeping tabs.” you cock your head, letting your gaze linger on his flushed cheeks, the way his nostrils flare, and that slight clench of his fists by his side.
he’s seething—looks ready to burst into flames right here in front of the bar. good.
he’s always been like this with you. short fuse, especially when it comes to what you’re wearing, how you look, where you go. but you’re onto him. you know what it’s really about.
“you must really be obsessed with me,” you continue, “it’s kinda weird, don’t you think?” you take another sip, slow and deliberate, licking your lips as you meet his glare. he steps closer, crowding into your space, his chest brushing against your shoulder. you should back up, or at least pretend to care, but you just tilt your head, looking up at him with a smug little grin. “what’s wrong?” you murmur, “feeling a little tense?
“fuck off,” he grits out, stepping back like he’s burned. but it’s too late. you’ve got him now.
you cock your head, giving him a slow, taunting smile. “why? afraid you’ll get hard in front of your little friends?”
his eyes darken, jaw clenched so hard you wonder if it hurts. “i swear to god—”
“what?” you interrupt, teeth flashing. “you gonna hit me? break another one of your daddy’s toys?” you wave your hand around the pristine room, the glittering chandelier, the polished bar. “go on, then. show everyone what a psycho you are.”
“you think i won’t?” 
“yeah, i think you won’t,” you say softly, staring right into those burning blue eyes of his. “because you’re all bark and no bite.”
“you wanna see bite?” he murmurs, voice dripping venom. “i’ll show you fucking bite.”
then his hand snaps out, wrapping around your upper arm, and before you can react, he’s yanking you out of the room, down a hallway that’s all shadowed corners. you stumble, cursing under your breath, but he doesn’t stop until you’re both crashing through a side door into some empty back corridor.
“jesus, cameron, take a fucking xanax—” you start, wrenching your arm free.
for a second, you think you’ve gone too far. his whole body goes still, and something flares in his gaze—something unhinged and a little bit terrifying. but instead of snapping, instead of throwing a punch, he leans in, so close you can feel the heat of him against your skin.
you’re shoved against the wall, hard, his body caging yours in, his hands braced on either side of your head. you freeze, breath hitching. he’s close—too close—and it’s too hot and too much and—
“shut up,” he growls.
you should tell him to fuck off. you should knee him in the balls. you should do anything but feel the way you do right now—flushed, breathless, and…too horny for your own good. 
“do you always have to be so fucking dramatic?” you huff, placing your hand in chest in a futile attempt to push him away. you know he can break you in half if he wants to. 
he doesn’t move of course, just stares at you, chest heaving like he’s just run a marathon. he’s got that crazed look in his eyes that should make you run for the hills, and yet you stay put.
and then, suddenly, his mouth is on yours, demanding and angry.
it’s not a kiss—it’s a punishment. his teeth nip at your bottom lip, his tongue sliding against yours with a harshness that steals your breath. you gasp, your hands coming up to shove him away again, but somehow they get tangled in his hair instead, gripping the soft strands as he presses closer, closer— it’s a disaster. you’re a disaster. because you don’t pull away. 
you kiss him back like an idiot, just as desperate, your nails digging into his scalp as you pour all your frustration into the kiss. why does he have to be this hot? in your books, kooks aren't allowed to be hotter than a 5. unfortunately, rafe is a solid eleven.
he tastes like mint and rage, and it shouldn’t feel this good, but it does. god, it does. he breaks away, panting, glaring down at you like you’re dirt under his shoes. “you drive me fucking insane, y’ know that?”
“good,” you gasp, licking your lips. “you deserve it.”
he laughs, a low, harsh sound. “you’re such a fucking bitch.”
“and you’re a spoiled, narcissistic asshole,” you snap back, shoving at his chest. he doesn’t even flinch, just glares harder, and it sends a thrill through your entire body. you’d never seen him like this, so unguarded and it was weirdly intoxicating. 
“i should ruin you,” he murmurs, almost like he’s talking to himself. his hand comes up, fingers brushing your jaw, trailing down your throat. “make you beg.”
you keep your expression defiant. “you think you can?”
rafe smirks, slow and dangerous, and it makes something burst in your belly. “i know i can.”
his hand slides lower, fingertips brushing the hem of your top, and your breath catches. you should stop this again. you should slap him, kick him, do anything but let him keep touching you like that, but you don’t. you just stare up at him, heart racing.
“show me then.”
and then his hands are on you, yanking you forward, spinning you around. you gasp, palms slapping against the wall as he presses up behind you, his body solid against yours.
“you’re a fucking brat,” he growls, his mouth right against your ear. one of his hands comes up, fingers tangling in your hair, pulling just enough to make your back arch.
“and you’re obsessed with me,” you shoot back breathlessly, tilting your head to meet his gaze over your shoulder.
rafe’s grip tightens in your hair, hard enough to sting, and his lips brush your earlobe, “obsessed?” he repeats, like he can’t believe you had the fucking audacity to say it. “don’t flatter yourself, baby.”
but you feel the way his body presses against yours. your panties might be drenched but this man is just as hard. he’s close to you—so fucking close—you feel every ridge of him, and despite every insult he’s ever thrown your way, despite how much he claims to hate you, he’s here. the way he’s breathing tells you exactly what you need to know. 
you twist against him, pushing back just enough to test his restraint. “then why are you so worked up, huh?”
“i think you’re confusing us.”
“sure,” you laugh, even as his hands move down your sides, his fingernails digging into your hips. “that’s why you dragged me out here, right? because you’re just so indifferent?”
his chest brushes against your back with every ragged breath. he’s losing it. you’re making him lose it. and fuck, that feels good.
“i could ruin you,” he whispers again, like he’s trying to convince himself. his hand skim up your ribs, thumb grazing the underside of your tit, and your senses kicks into overdrive. “one word from me, and you’re done.”
“you’re all talk cameron,” you challenge, arching your back slightly, giving him more room to touch you.
you shouldn’t want this—you shouldn’t need this—but you can’t stop. 
his mouth is on your neck, hot and open, teeth scraping against your skin in a way that sends a shudder from your head to your toes.
“fuck you,” he growls against your throat, the words almost lost in the heat of his mouth. “i’m not playin’ your games.”
you bite back a moan, fingers curling against the cold wall. “you’re already playing.”
“you’re so fucking—” he cuts himself off, breathing harshly through his nose. “fuck, i hate you.”
“no, you don’t,” you turn your head just enough to catch his eye. his gaze is wild, and you smirk, taunting him with your lips just inches from his. “you wish you did.”
you know you’re pushing your luck, but then again, when haven’t you?
“you have no fucking clue what i wish,” he growls, each word dripping with so much frustration it makes you laugh.
it comes out like a soft, mocking sound. “ooh, i think i do. you wish i’d shut up. wish i’d disappear. but you really wish you didn’t get hard every time ’m around.”
his jaw ticks, that telltale sign that you’re getting to him. god, he hates you. you can see it in his clenched teeth, his furrowed brows. he hates that he wants a pogue and you find it hilarious.
“don’t flatter yourself pogue,” he snaps, but his voice is strained. his hands tighten on your hips, fingers biting into your skin just shy of painful.
you push back against him just a little harder again, feeling the rigid line of his cock pressed against your ass.
“yeah?” your voice turns breathy. “then why do i feel that?” you grind your hips subtly, just to punctuate the point, and the low sound that rumbles out of him is almost worth the risk of provoking him further.
“because you’re a fucking tease,” he mutters, voice harsh and low in your ear. “you show up, looking like you want it—”
“and so what if i do?”
it’s a dare. he’s holding you, like he can’t decide if he wants to strangle you or fuck you senseless, perhaps both. you know you’ve crossed some invisible line.
“you’re gonna regret this,” he murmurs.
“maybe,” you shoot back, unflinching. “but that’s the thing, rafe.” you twist, just enough to look at him over your shoulder, “i think you’re more scared of what you might regret.”
instead of shoving you away, instead of storming off, he does the one thing you didn’t expect. he laughs.
it’s that crazy sound he makes before he does something reckless every time, the kind that makes people run away. it’s such a humorless sound, it should scare the living shit out of you as he leans in, lips brushing against your neck. “don’t say i didn’t warn you.”
before you can answer, one hand slides up to cup your jaw, tilting your head back so you’re forced to meet his eyes. they’re wild, almost feral, just like you expected.
“tell me to stop,” he whispers, his thumb brushing your lower lip, the touch so gentle it’s almost jarring. “go on, say it.”
you swallow hard, pulse hammering in your throat. you should say it. but you don’t want to.
“make me.” you know he hears you—feels you—because the corner of his mouth lifts in a slow, taunting smirk.
“yeah?” he drawls, thumb slipping from your lip to trace along your jawline, his touch featherlight and maddening. “you sure?”
“prove me wrong. or are you scared?”
“you think ’m fucking scared of you? think i can’t handle a little mouthy brat like you?”
he’s goading you, pushing you like he always does, and every word you had prepared dies on your lips 
“i’d loooove to see you try.”
“oh, you will.”
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barcaatthemoon · 1 day
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baller || kelsey plum x reader ||
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Kelsey takes you out after a game.
Kelsey made a beeline for the locker room at the sound of the final buzzer. You stayed in your courtside seat as some of her teammates gathered around you. It was always a bit of a party whenever you managed to find time to come to Kelsey's games. She swore that she played better whenever you were in the stands, something that her teammates all also agreed with. Personally, you thought Kelsey played great whether you were there or not, but you'd accept all of the extra love you got from it.
"I am sorry to delay your post-game kiss. Hopefully Becky was good company." Kelsey was panted slightly as she spoke to you. The huddle of girls around you had kept you from seeing her as she sprinted from the locker room over to where you'd been sitting.
"You say that, but I still haven't been kissed yet," you teased. Kelsey pushed past everybody to get to you. Once she was close enough, Kelsey cupped your cheeks and pressed several quick kisses to your lips before ending it on a longer one. You broke the kiss as her teammates whooped and hollered at the two of you. "Take me home now please?"
"Hold on, not yet baby. I wanna take you out," Kelsey said. She helped you out of your seat and walked you out of the arena. After a win like that and with you on her arm, Kelsey felt like she was on top of the world. Nothing could knock her down a peg, not even your potential rejection of her wanting to take you out. "If you don't want to go out, that's okay. I didn't make reservations anywhere."
"Aren't you tired after all that?" Kelsey shook her head as she grabbed your hand to kiss the back of it. "Can I pay tonight or are you wanting to show off?"
"You know me baby, I gotta show off a little. I'd take you dress shopping if it wasn't so late," Kelsey told you. You cracked a smile at her, knowing that was true. She had once kept you out all day with a game, shopping trip, and extravagant dinner before ending it at the club with her girls. "Are you sure that's okay?"
"Absolutely fine by me," you told her. Kelsey bit her lip as she turned back to the wheel. You knew that she was playing a bit, but you didn't mind. Showing off meant more than just throwing around some money with Kelsey. She would do everything she could to make sure that you had a good time, and usually, that meant being a bit over the top with her flirting and jokes.
There were seemingly hundreds of flashy restaurants all over Vegas, but Kelsey knew what you liked. It was the kind of place where you had worked before you even moved here. A hidden gem among the locals, known mainly to the people who found themselves getting off work as all of the parties died down.
Both you and Kelsey were regulars here. The staff knew you both, although they saw Kelsey as an extension of you at times. It didn't matter if the woman came in on her own, which had only happened a couple of times, they'd send her on her way with your usual order. Neither one of you had to even look at a menu, the waitresses already knowing what you'd want.
"It's not the Ritz, but I need something good. I hope to have a long night ahead of myself," Kelsey said with a wink. You rolled your eyes at her, but didn't disagree. It was likely that you and Kelsey would be up all night as soon as you got back to her place. You didn't mind that, in fact, you were already having a hard time keeping your hands completely to yourself.
You loved the pre-game outfits and all, but there was something about Kelsey's lowkey post-game outfits that got you. You loved seeing her walk around in the practice shorts and Aces t-shirt that you knew you'd be wearing in the morning. You liked seeing Kelsey comfortable, and maybe, just maybe, you were relieved that she wasn't getting stared at by strangers.
"So, and you can totally say no to this, Chelsea found this big couples' retreat thing. They did it last year, but Darren didn't want to, so I went and coupled up with one of the single girls, which was fun. Anyway, I was thinking that it would be more fun if you came with this year, but you don't have to. I know that I already ask a lot with you coming to my games and shit…" Kelsey trailed off awkwardly. You smiled at her as you leaned across the table to kiss her cheek.
"I'd really like that. Just let me know when it is, and I'll make arrangements," you told her. Kelsey perked up at your agreement, having thought it would be harder to convince you.
The two of you left the restaurant shortly after that, not wanting to go home quite so early into the night. Kelsey knew that some of the girls on the team were planning on going out, but she wanted you all to herself. You had always loved the lights, so Kelsey drove up and down the strip a few times until you started to get very obviously tired.
"Can I carry you upstairs?" Kelsey asked as she pulled into her garage. You quirked an eyebrow at her, but the longer that you looked at her, the clearer it became that she wasn't joking. "Please?"
"Are you ever scared that people think you do too much for me?" you asked. Kelsey scoffed at your question. The idea that there would ever be 'too much' was ridiculous. Kelsey knew that you were going to be the person she grew old with, and if she could make any aspect of your life easier or better, then she was determined to do so.
"Never. I get teased every practice because everybody thinks I'm whipped, but I just love you. You do so much for me that nobody sees or knows about, and I don't think that I'll ever be able to make it up to you, so I try in other ways. I know that it looks like a lot, but it's not. You love me, and you let me love you. Besides, do you know how fucking cool I look running around with you on my arm in all those fancy ass clothes?" You could tell that Kelsey was nowhere near stopping, so you climbed over the center console and into her lap. Immediately, Kelsey got quiet and started to run her hands down your sides until she got to your ass.
"I love you too," you told her. Kelsey grinned into a kiss, much sweeter than any of the others you had shared that night. Kelsey didn't try to push it further, only just pulling away before you buried your head into her shoulder to hide your yawning.
"You're so cute when you're sleepy," Kelsey whispered as she took you out of the car. She carried you upstairs first, knowing that her basketball bag would stay in the car until the morning because she wasn't leaving your side all night.
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prettygirl-gabi · 2 days
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I'll be home soon
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Hiii every thank you for reading this mini series I hope you all enjoyed. I wanted to do something for Jeonghan going to the military I wasn’t going to do so, but I felt it in ny heart that it needed to be done. Our sweet, beautiful angel 😇 will be waw front us for two years but it's for a good reason (he doesn't go to jail).... he's serving his country and we will continue to love and wait on him because he and the members deserve to be loved and waited on... as each member go on their journey it'll only be a short while before we are truly whole again!
"It will be okay... Like the hands on a clock, it will find its place again after going in circles."- Seventeen's Circles
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Rating:General Audiences
Warning: Fluff, sadnesss through and through, happy ending
Category:F/M¹³
Fandom:Seventeen (SVT) (boyband)
Relationships: !idol S.coups x f reader, !idol Jeonghan x f reader, !idol Joshua x f reader, !idol Jun x f reader,!idol Hoshi x f reader, !idol wonwoo x f reader, !idol woozi x f reader, !idol dk x f reader, !idol The8 x f reader, !idol Mingyu x f reader, !idol Seungkwan x f reader, !idol Vernon x f reader, !idol Dino x f reader.
Summary: Seventeen doesn't want to say goodbye, you dont wanna say goodbye. None of us do but it's Jeonghan's time for his mandatory enlistment.
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Hey everyone! Welcome to the 2nd bouns installment of my new mini series called "Oi! Not this again!" They do not have to be read together or in order! I hope you all enjoy!
I wake up to the feeling of warmth pressed against my back. The soft hum of breathing fills the air as I shift slightly under the covers. I know without opening my eyes that it’s Mingyu. His arms are wrapped securely around me, and even though he’s fast asleep, there’s a quiet reassurance in his hold. It's like he's trying to tell me that everything will be okay, even though nothing feels okay right now.
I glance at the clock. 6:15 AM. Jeonghan leaves in forty-five minutes.
The lump in my throat swells as I turn to look at the other side of the bed. Jeonghan’s not there. The space where he usually sleeps is empty, the sheets cold. A small sigh escapes my lips as I quietly slip out from Mingyu’s hold, careful not to wake him. I make my way out of the bedroom, the sound of my feet padding softly against the floor.
The living room light is on.
There, sitting on the couch with his head in his hands, is Jeonghan. His hair falls over his face, hiding the tiredness in his eyes that I know is there. He’s been dreading this day for months. Hell, *we’ve* been dreading it. Every time the topic of his military enlistment came up, the atmosphere between us would shift, turning from light-hearted conversations to heavy silence.
"Hey," I whisper, not wanting to startle him. He lifts his head and gives me a small, tired smile.
"Couldn’t sleep," he mutters, his voice hoarse. I walk over to him, sitting down next to him on the couch. The space between us feels suffocating, like it holds every unsaid word, every unspoken fear.
"Me neither," I admit, reaching for his hand. His fingers intertwine with mine, squeezing just a little too tightly, as if he's afraid to let go.
“I don’t want to leave you all.” His voice cracks, and the raw vulnerability in it makes my heart ache. He’s always been the one who held us together, the one who teased us, made us laugh, and softened the edges when things got hard. But now, the cracks in his armor are showing, and I don’t know how to fix them.
"I know," I whisper. "I don’t want you to leave either."
He lets out a bitter chuckle. "It's not fair, is it? Just when everything is perfect…"
Perfect. It feels like such an impossible word right now. I think about the nights spent curled up in bed with all of them—Seungcheol’s steady presence, Joshua’s gentle kisses, Wonwoo’s quiet affection, and the rest of them who made my heart feel so full it might burst. And now, Jeonghan, a crucial part of us, is leaving.
I feel the tears prick at my eyes, but I blink them away, refusing to let them fall. I have to be strong for him. For all of us.
“You’ll come back,” I say, trying to sound reassuring, though the words feel hollow. “And we’ll all be here, waiting for you. You're our home and we're yours.”
Jeonghan leans his head against mine, his breath warm on my skin. “Two years is a long time.”
“I know.”
A long silence stretches between us, the weight of the next two years heavy in the air. We’ve talked about this before, about how we’ll all stay connected, writing letters, video calls whenever he can. But it won’t be the same. The empty space in our bed, the missing voice during movie nights, the absent laughter during game nights—it’ll be felt every single day.
“I’ll miss you,” I whisper, my voice trembling despite my efforts to stay composed.
Jeonghan turns to face me, his eyes searching mine. “I’ll miss you too. All of you. More than you can imagine.”
Before I can respond, I hear footsteps behind us. Mingyu, followed by Seungcheol and Joshua, walk into the living room. They must have woken up when I left. Mingyu looks at us with a tired, pained expression, his eyes red from lack of sleep. He sits down on the other side of Jeonghan, wrapping an arm around him in silence.
“I hate this,” Mingyu murmurs, his voice barely audible. Seungcheol sits down on the floor in front of Jeonghan, looking up at him with a steady, reassuring gaze.
“You’ll be back before you know it,” Seungcheol says, his deep voice full of conviction. “We’ll get through this together. Just like always.”
Jeonghan lets out a soft laugh, though it’s more of a breath. “You make it sound so easy.”
“It’s not,” Joshua says softly, taking Jeonghan’s other hand. “But we’ll be okay. You’ll be okay.”
We sit there together for what feels like hours, even though it’s only minutes. No one says much, but the weight of everything unsaid hangs heavily in the room. I try to memorize every part of this moment—the warmth of their bodies close to mine, the sound of their breathing, the way Jeonghan’s hand feels in mine, strong yet fragile.
And then, too soon, it’s time.
Seungcheol helps Jeonghan to his feet, and Mingyu grabs the small bag he’s packed. The silence is deafening as we walk him to the door. Jeonghan turns to face us one last time, his eyes scanning over each of us as if he’s trying to take us all in, to remember us just as we are.
“I’ll come back,” he says, his voice strong but laced with emotion. “I promise.”
Mingyu lets out a quiet sob, and I can feel my own tears finally spill over. Jeonghan steps forward, pulling us all into one last hug. The embrace is warm, tight, and filled with a desperation none of us are willing to admit.
“I love you,” he whispers, and it feels like the words are being carved into my heart. “I love you all.”
“I love you too,” I manage to choke out, and the others follow with their own murmurs of affection.
And then, just like that, he’s gone.
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The next two years are hard. Some days are better than others. There are moments where I can almost forget the hole Jeonghan’s absence left behind. But then there are nights where I wake up, reaching for him, only to remember that he’s not here.
We keep in touch as much as we can. Letters, video calls when his schedule allows. But it’s not the same. It never will be.
But we get through it. Seungcheol, Joshua, Mingyu, the others—they make it bearable. We lean on each other, finding comfort in the small moments, in the knowledge that we’re all in this together.
And then, one day, the wait is over.
It’s a quiet afternoon when the front door opens, and there he is—Jeonghan, standing in the doorway, looking exactly the same and yet somehow different. My heart stops for a moment, and then I’m running toward him, throwing myself into his arms.
He laughs, the sound warm and familiar, and suddenly, everything is okay again. The others join us, and soon we’re all piled on top of each other, a tangle of limbs and laughter and tears.
“I told you I’d come back,” Jeonghan says, his voice full of warmth and relief.
“Yeah,” I say, burying my face in his chest, feeling his heart beat steadily against mine. “You did.”
And in that moment, surrounded by the people I love, I know that everything is going to be okay.
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‐Thank You For Reading!🩵🩶
-prettygirl-Gabi✨️🎀
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netherworldpost · 2 days
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Bob's Burgers is one of my favorite shows for... a lot of reasons.
One of which being occasionally Bob goes to a restaurant supply store or similar and the tiny, tiny, tiny throwaway details stick in my brain.
Things completely separate from the plot or characters, just a bit of flavor. Bob flavor. Bobvlor. Flav-va-la-Bob.
(Bob, scolding Gene voice: "atty.")
Today I am scrambling to buy enough shipping boxes and packing envelopes and what-nots because the supplier is having a "we'll ship it to you free... YOU HAVE 12 HOURS TO DECIDE QUANTITY, HARSH MINIMUMS APPLY"
Running a nonsensical greeting card company has, shall we say, ridiculous challenges. I love it.
Incoming shipping is, shall we say, pricy. Boxes and things do not go bad, you can buy months at a time, but then you're stuck storing with tons of boxes, in a studio already that is, shall we say, tiny.
I work hard to not shop at the big ol' Am-glam-a-zon-bezos-a-thon because I prefer suppliers who are independently owned (respect) and pay taxes (hell yeah) and while they cannot match ol' Jeff's pricing on tiny orders, when you figure out "okay I'll spend, like, half a month's rent on... envelopes... because you're having a sale... on... envelopes" things work out for everyone.
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It's a packing order day
we just got the latest batch from the printer last night at 4 AM did I post anything weird I haven't checked i was super tired waiting for it to come in oh thank god no i did not
and that's ANOTHER reason I am in love with Bob Belcher
He is constantly balancing "I am tired" and "I love this job, it is incredible, I'm building and creating EXACTLY what and how I want."
Okay that's...
...enough, too much, back to work, love you all
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i'm amazed by the energy that antibucktommy people bring to this show like one of the most beloved characters and one of the biggest storylines in the very first season wasn't bobby and the fact that he murdered 148 people including his wife and children and is trying to rebuild his life. it's almost like this show has been saying since the beginning that people can grow and be better and maybe we should give them the space to do that.
anyway buck and tommy were really cute this episode. and there's something so teenage giddiness about them hiding behind a couch for a fake surprise party and flirting that just makes me so happy for the sheer queerness of the experience for buck
This is honestly why I stopped interacting with a lot of segments of fandom over the summer and started curating my fyp and tumblr follows a little more intensely. All of the characters have done horrible things (some more recently than others), things that are usually regarded as unforgivable. Bobby's story is the big one, but Hen's cheating storyline, Athena's many and varied abuses of power as a cop, Chim's really pretty sus relationship with Tatiana, Eddie's fight club era and his treatment of the women he gets into relationships with, Buck manipulating Taylor (like, kind of a lot)...like they've all done terrible things and we have watched them come back from it and learn and grow and change, and love them for it.
I think a lot of it stems from the fact that the horrible things they did were not done to our faves (I'd argue the fandom didn't know Karen well enough during the cheating storyline to not feel inclined to forgive Hen for it) and the fact that the racism and sexism displayed by Tommy at first are such lightning rod issues anyway (as well they should be). And, yes, let's be real, the majority of it is what I'll kindly call disappointment that we got Bi!Buck after all this time, but not Buddie. And that's fair (to an extent...there's NO excuse for the kind of harrassment we saw over the last few months).
But the vitriol displayed towards BuckTommy and the people that ship them is just really outsized in my opinion. The show is going out of their way to show us that Tommy is good to Buck (and friends with Eddie), and that they are enjoying each other. Whether or not it leads to Buddie, don't we WANT Buck to have a good relationship for his first as a queer man? Everyone talks about representation being SO important--we have an extremely masculine characater (who has canonically been presented as a playboy/heartthrob type) discovering a new facet of his sexuality when he's nearly in his mid-thirties, and exploring that facet with a love interest that is EQUALLY as masculine. This storyline is important! It's breaking a lot of new ground and doing it in a really nicely done way.
And in regards to Tommy...I dunno, maybe it's because I've grown up in an environment that pretty much BREEDS men like BeginsEra!Tommy. Yes, they have a choice not to be the way they are--but unless you live in it, it's hard to understand how hard making that choice, or even recognizing that you DO have a choice, really is. I think it's also important to show a character who didn't remain a piece of trash human, and was able to accept that they were wrong and CHANGE. If the only way you can ever be defined is by what you were at your very worst, what is even the fucking point of changing? No one owes you forgiveness, even after you do the work to change...but nor do you deserve to be punished forever.
I dunno, I just wanna enjoy my weewoo show and I'm tired of people harshing my buzz (heh, see what I did there?) I still ship Buddie. I ship BuckTommy. Most of all I ship Buck/Happiness and I am eager to see if he finally gets some that lasts.
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sparklingcid3r · 8 hours
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The words were out, hanging in dead space between them. So cruel and violent. Pony wished he could take them back, but no retraction would ever repair the damage he’d caused.
Something in Darry must have died that night. Or maybe Ponyboy had finally killed what little was left of him, and snuffed out any chance he had of getting his relationship with his big brother back.
In which words sometimes speak much, much louder than actions.
-
Pony always thought that Darry would be the one to cross the line first. Pony knew how to put a cork over his fury; tasting copper was better than a verbal beatdown. Biting his tongue was one of the few things Pony was better at than his brother.
But he really ought to have known, with his nose constantly shoved in a book and all that. With enough pressure, every dam will break.
Darry’s eyes glittered like ice as he stood from the recliner, his arms folded. Soda was there, too, though he stayed curled up on the couch, letting Darry play bad guy.
“Where the hell have you been, Ponyboy? Curfew was two hours ago.”
Pony was tired. He wasn’t in the mood, so he kept his gaze low. “You guys didn’t have to wait up. I was fine.”
“How are we supposed to know that? You didn’t tell us about your plans after school, you didn’t call, nothing. When you don’t show up, what are we supposed to think?”
He shrugged. “I don’t gotta share everything with you.”
Darry thought that was a hoot. Pony could tell by the mean scowl on his face as he said it.
“So long as you keep your nose outta trouble, you know I don’t care what you do.” That was true. After the accident, Darry could have been a lot worse. By all means, he should have been. A lot had changed in their family, he supposed, and Darry was trying out a few new tactics.
He ran roughshod over Pony’s retort before he could make it. “You didn’t even think to tell me you’d be out late, so here we are, making sure our kid brother ain’t been left for dead somewhere, worrying our asses off, just for you to walk in, right as rain.”
Somewhere along the way, Soda ceased to exist in their world. He couldn’t have said when.
“Glory, Darry, are you happy to see me or not?” Pony snapped. “Make up your damn mind!”
“Happy?” Darry scoffed. “Yeah, I sure am happy you think the rules we have in this house, under my roof, don’t apply to you.”
“I ain’t saying that—“
“Then what are you sayin’? ‘Cause all I been hearin’ is a load of bull.”
Darry was getting real mad. He liked keeping his southern twang on the down low—Pony figured it had something to do with his bitterness over not getting the hell out of Tulsa—but it flared up when he got all riled.
Pony knew he should throw in the towel and just start appeasing, but the tiniest spark of indignation lit a whole fuse in his chest, and suddenly he was hollering right back.
“I don’t gotta tell you anything, you said so yourself! I wasn’t doing nothing wrong, so what if I show up an hour or two late? I’m here, aren’t I?” And it felt real good seeing, even for a second, the startle in Darry’s face, that his pathetic little brother could spit fire right back. “All you do is holler my ears off, day and night. Lay off already!”
Darry recovered so quick that if Pony had blinked, he’d have missed that sweet moment altogether. “You better watch that tone, Ponyboy, or so help me God.”
“Naw, you don’t go pulling this with Soda. Why does he get to do hell all without no permission?”
“Because Sodapop’s pulling his damn weight around here, helping me pay our bills and for our groceries. And this is how you repay us, by sneaking around past curfew and letting me think some Socs got their hands on you.”
Pony never wanted to do to Darry what he thought the Socs would do more than in that moment. He wanted to wrap his knuckles and sock his brother in the mouth, see how he liked it being someone else’s punching bag. Using Soda like that was a low blow.
Of course, he was about as capable of hurting Darry as a fly was against a bear, but his chest is too hot and tight to consider retreating now.
“If money’s all you care about, I’ll drop outta school and get a job. How’s that sound?”
“Don’t you go even entertainin’ that thought.”
“Then don’t you go dragging Soda into this!”
“Why shouldn’t I? You’re killin’ us, Ponyboy! That’s all you been tryna do lately, send us both to an early grave!”
“You wanna talk about graves? Mom and Dad are gone and all you’ve been doing is tryna replace them, but you ain’t even good at pretending to know what you’re doing!”
Shame was already boiling in the pits of his stomach, but his anger blinded him. The best he could do was turn his back and flee.
Darry caught Pony by his bicep. His grip was tight, and Pony’s first thought was that he was about to be tossed into the couch. “Don’t you dare pull that shit on me, Ponyboy Michael, using them against me—“
Pony wrenched his arm free and whirled on his heels, smacking Darry’s hand with a snarl carved out of his face. He pointed an accusing finger and let his fury loose in the worst way he could think of:
“I wish you had died instead!”
Time froze. His hand wasn’t quick enough to cage the monstrous words back into his mouth. They were acidic and would have burned on the way back down, but he would have preferred it.
Even Soda, watching from a distance, was stunned into abject silence, his lips parted and his chest heaving up and down, yet he made no sounds.
That was all it took. Not a clenched fist adorned with sharp rings or a heater packing back to back rounds. Six words laced with vitriol from the mouth of his kid brother, and Darrel Curtis buckled.
What did Pony say next? Should he speak at all? He peered through Darry’s glassy eyes and saw the fresh devastation they harbored within. Where he saw it most, though, was where it did not show itself at all. Darry’s hands were loose at his sides, unfurled and calm. He was perfectly still, not even harsh pocketfuls of air shaking his shoulders as they so typically did. Save for his shuttering expression—a coldness steadily fought for the place of raw hurt—Darry was just a body stood upright.
“Darry, I…” Ponyboy‘s rasp was wet and quivering. He felt the heat of shame and tears on his face, burning his ears and behind his eyes. The words shriveled up when they reached the cusp of his tightening throat.
Sodapop tried to intervene. His hand went up as if to brush Darry’s arm, but he thought better and settled on hovering just above.
“Hey, Dar—“
“Go,” said Darry, strained. “You have school tomorrow. Go to bed, Ponyboy.”
Pony nodded immediately, but Darry was the first to retreat. He pulled away from Soda. Pony staggered back to let him through, and he was spared no glance in the aftermath, not that he deserved it. He didn’t deserve any of what Darry had spent the past two months giving him, or anything that came after.
It was only a matter of time before Darry hated him for it, and he was pretty sure he just set that process on a fast track to fruition.
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It's only pretend right ? ( Bucky barnes x reader) part three
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summary : kitty ( y/n) brings bucky to one of the spots in her life she can just breathe and take it all it , while the two enjoy the time alone soon realize that they been gone far too long get back only for bucky to take a tumble and learn more and more about her , he even get asked to bring her grandmother to church and a surprise shows up that makes her happy to be home
warnings : this is actually unlike me to have a tooth rotting fluff piece but i ain't mad at it , grammatical and spelling errors ( whats new)
previous part
Maybe it was the scenery , maybe it was the company  or even it was the both that had her instantly more calm more settled , the fresh green grass  , trees and  fields as she passed by was something she did miss even though the compound was surrounded by some trees and stuff it wasn’t like this . it wasn’t the great outdoor of home she always looked forward to .  The two stopped near the meadow just an hour from her house. She felt calmer being away from the judging gazes and comments, finally being able to breathe fully and it was like bucky could see the shift himself .
 “ You know they have no idea about who you are,” he spoke up.
 “I used to think they did , they used to make me doubt myself so much that when i was on my own I thought I was a disappointment so when i was left in big city i was afraid to come home, until I met fury  , he showed me I was worth something then I came on to the team and even more, I mean my dad's side they're awesome they let me know i'm loved , they tell me all time that their  proud of me” she smiled brightly. 
“ I understand you more” he nodded “ huh ? “ she felt herself suddenly doubt kicking in.
 “ Why you make everyone's day better, let them know their worth even when they don't themselves “ he smiled softly watching the horse move to the little river.
“ I make sure they never feel the way I once did,  sorry also I didn't know dickface was here” she grumbled . 
“ gotta be a specific doll” he chuckled .
 “ Good one but I was talking about my ex,” she laughed.
 “ He's the one who hurt you badly huh?” He knew of him , Knew it was bad but never pushed her to tell him .
 “ he left me in new york two days after arriving found him with another girl when I went go get my stuff out of hotel room and he didn't care like they waited for me to leave” she scoffed.
“Well  he never deserved you , he  screams of  what is it Parker says , small dick energy “ he mused as her laughter filled the meadow. The way the light hit her honestly looked like an angel,as he knew one week was gonna be hard , two was going to definitely kill him . 
 “You know I'm glad fury found me “ she sighed  flopping on to the ground staring up at the clouds above. 
“ As am I,  you know you still never told me that story either” he flopped down beside her .
 “ you make it  through these days without killing my family or ex and well then I'll tell you both stories “ she giggled .
 “ you got yourself a deal doll “ he held his hand out as she took it, sealing their deal 
 “ so Is this your spot , you know  that one spot that everyone has to feel free , The one that is just for them ” he asked, eyes watching her reaction. 
“ It's one of them only Jessie knows my real spot, the one I went to  as a kid when they would visit or when I had a tough time,  he’s the oldest and in the army  but he got leave so be here tomorrow ” she smiled softly.
“  Are you two  close?” he asked . 
“ He was the first best friend I've ever had and the first person I rang when I got both jobs then my dad” she smiled. 
“ I mean I love izzy and jack to death and we’re close too, we bond over different things , she is closer to  Jack ,twin thing “ she explained . He could listen to her rambles even for hour , days even and not get tired of sound of her voice .
“ I get what you mean doll” he held her hand and two just looked up at sky enjoying the comfortable silence. She even had a nap before the buzzing of her phone startled her seeing the sun setting .
 “ shit mama texting to say it almost time for dinner” she yawn as he stood holding his hand out for her to take pulling her up . “ just us and grandma “ she added .
“ the evil one?”.
“ The devil lady , she ain't so bad I mean she's quiet and grumpy and judges everything most of the time and ignores everyone. My dad convince she sold her soul to the devil to live forever hence the nickname , she’s had a few close calls ” she chuckled easily mounting her horse as bucky got up on the moon easier.
“ I would say race you but this one is too far gone” he chuckled as she walked a head and moon followed.  
“ I'll see if I can keep you guys together” she cooed to the horses . 
The sun completely set as the two pulled back up on the ranch. All the cars were gone meaning they were gone too . 
“ I can't believe this,” her dad stared as they approached.
 “ What are you about, old man?” she laughed.
 “ the rebel stallion walking like a show pony , you know he bucked Jack off” he said coming to the two .
“ he's misunderstood , hard at trusting but once he does , big softy plus jack in the box is annoying  “ she giggled, flickering a glance towards the man beside her.
 “ We think he's after star too “ bucky patted the stallion not realizing he was going to sneeze once horse head went down bucky tumble after hitting the ground with a thump.
“ shit bucky you ok “ she hopped down so quickly honestly her father never seen her move so fast  .
 “ is it dark enough that neither of you saw that” he groaned, eyes not  wanting to open. 
 “ it not even dark enough to hide the red of your cheeks son” her dad's hand slipped into Bucky's, pulling him off the ground.  
 These two stay together  from now on , you get in and rest that was quite a fall I'll check you over once I get these settled “ she called back .
“ come on son we get you in “ her dad led the super soldier in suppressing his laughter.
“ Are you ever gonna tell her how you feel?” he asked. “ I mean we're together “ he panicked.
“ I may be old but I ain't dumb  , plus the team clued me in “ he chuckled . 
“ steve?” He asked .
 “ he and Natasha , they rang three nights ago” , his words making Bucky stop. 
 I only found out last night.” His brows furrowed.
 “ she only found out that morning” he winked, heading into the house leaving the door open once the super soldier let the words sink in.  
“Come on before she kicks both our asses,she a cute little thing but shit never get wrong side of kitty ” he walked faster into the house as bucky followed . 
“ about time … wheres kitty “ her mother turned to see two men .
” Bucky here took tumble off the moon so she gone get them  set for night while I checked over lover boy here” he patted the man's vibranium arm . 
“ shit” bucky huffed. 
“ What's broken , we ain't got insurance for that '' her dad said  his first proper look at the metal arm he's only ever seen in pictures. 
"Nah the plates and calibration is out of whack ,makes it off” he explained lifting the glasses up and instantly smashing it. “ I can feel pressure with it “ he winced as they jumped at the sound of glasses shattering .
 “ hey who’s making a mess in here” she walked in seeing their worried expressions set on bucky . 
 What's wrong, do we need to go to the hospital?” she rushed in front of the man. Eyebrows furrowed as her face laced with worry checking him over. 
“ my arm just acting up” he smiled softly loving the doting attention she was giving him .
 “ Pop, can you get my tools please?” she asked softly .
 “ You need to take the arm off , I can clear the table” her mother rushed over .
 “ No, he doesn’t easily do it while on so he can feel it’s in the right balance” she shook her head . Bucky couldn’t help laughing when her father pushed in the heavy trolley neon purple in color.
 “ nice choice color doll” he winked making her chest flush.
“ Jessie and Jack got them for me” she rolled her eyes . 
“ She and my dad used to fix cars when she was growing up , little tiny thing picked quickly. I mean she was fixing engines to her daddy’s machines at 10” her mother chuckled.
“ Ok, you ready buckaroo?” she asked, opening the trolley. 
 as i’ll ever be” he saluted with his other hand.
Her parents watched as she was lost in her task. It was like watching her as a kid working with her grandfather again. While bucky was lost in her , just the presence of her alone.  “ ok …more or less” she asked as he flexed the metal appendages. 
“ nearly there a little more” .   He loved when she was this close, how he could see every detail of her face, little freckles that littered her cheeks, how he could enjoy the full beauty of the color of her eyes. When the tip of her tongue peaked out when she was fully concentrating on a task.
” ok how's that” she asked.
 “ Perfect thanks doll” he kissed her cheek . 
“ y-y-your welcome , food time” she turned so fast she felt dizzy but she was sure if it was his lips or smell of his cologne , the way she had to force her eyes to stay on task at hand or get lost in his beauty but boy did her knees feel weak. 
 “ kitty dear, could you get me a blanket” her grandmother asked . 
“ Yes grandma, which one ?” she asked softly. 
“ surprise me dear” she let a little smile on face. 
“ She needs to teach me to do that,” her father whispered to bucky. 
“ Mama is always sweet to the grandkids” her mother rolled her eyes.
 “Mr Barnes,  would you bring me to the church tomorrow? '' the elderly woman asked face showing nothing .
“ I can indeed ma’am” he nodded . 
“ Mama, he doesn’t know where it is, '' her mother protested.
 “ They got computers for that , thank you mr. barnes'' she nodded before bowing her head, not waiting any longer saying her own grace and tucking  into her food .  
“your immortal right” her dad Frank teased.  
“ Why, '' Bucky asked.
 “ Don’t mind him '' Beth's eyes rolled, swatting her husband as Y/N walked in with a flowery blanket. 
“ Perfect dear, thank you, '' her grandmother cooed. '' Bucky is taking me to church tomorrow” she added as the woman froze while sitting down. 
“ He doesn’t know where it is , we don't have a car here” she began. 
“ your fathers car and he’ll find the way” she dismissed easily.
 “ good luck, you know what buckaroo it was nice meeting you ” she gave him thumbs up dodging her mother swatting her . 
Once dinner was done and everyone was retired for the night, Bucky found her sitting on the porch looking up at the skies . 
“ i was wondering where you went to , nat is wanting to facetime” he held his phone up . 
“ ok park that ass” she patted the spot beside her. What they weren’t expecting was the team sitting in the living room, even Tony .
“ Hey you two, how did the first day go” nat asked . 
“ he survived the first day with the vultures” she joked.
 “ I went horse riding too,” Bucky beamed.
 “ fell off the horse too” she burst out laughing .
 “ last time i was one was the 40’s” he rolled his eyes but didn’t hide his loving glance at her laughing.
 “ Two weeks guys” she said as they all looked away from the camera. 
“ you haven’t had your vacation yet and neither has the cyborg so yes two weeks pretty girl” sam sassed. 
“ Hey little pyro you haven’t seen my black card have you” tony asked arching his brow.
 “ Remember that hug?” she asked . 
“Little shit , buy anything good even? ” he asked, chuckling.
 “ nah not yet might buy my horse a new saddle you know the luxury brand” she mused playfully.
 “ Her little accent is so cute , you can hear it more,” Wanda cooed.
 “ I dont have one , anyway funny find out you got my parents involved in the ploy” she asked softly. 
“ you both need a break ok so shut up and enjoy it , not much happening here anyways” nat rolled her eyes. 
“ I mean it is good to be home , just can’t wait til the rest of them leave, especially dick face” she huffed. 
“ What is your brother thinking?” Nat crossed her arms.
 “Honestly jack doesn’t think” a gruff voice called, making her head shoot right up.
“ JESSIE” She ran off the steps, almost knocking the man to the ground. 
“ her older brother is here i’ll ring you guys later” bucky hung up before standing up.
 “ Hey kitty, good to see you,” he smiled, holding her tighter to him . 
“You're supposed to be here tomorrow” she sniffled.
 “Hey they best be happy tears” he pulled her into a hug. 
“ very happy tears i missed you so much” she almost climbed into his arms .
 “ sergeant barnes” he saluted while still holding his sister close to him .
 “corporal” he saluted back .
 “ Are you being safe?” she asked, checking him over.
 “ I should be asking you that,” he arched his brow. 
“ I'm safe,” she smiled, wiping the tears from her eyes.
 “Sorry you had to deal with them today” he smiled sadly knowing his own family. 
“ s’okay i mean dad was there” she shrugged. 
“ They give her a hard time?” He looked to bucky.
 “  hey i’m right here i can handle it , how long's the leave for” she asked.
 “ It was a bit harsh,” Bucky smiled sadly.
 “ dickface saying anything? And I got two weeks, funny that ?  ” he asked. 
"No, I mean anytime he did Helen answered, even though she doesn’t like him and I didn't influence your leave ” she giggled. 
“ Jack just thinks her family should be there , her parents are gone so he’s all she has” Jessie rolled his eyes still not liking it hell he almost left his post to get her  in NewYork when he found out. 
“ Come on mama and papa haven’t been in bed long” she pulled the men into the house , she and bucky stood on the landing watching the reunion. She grabbed his arm when she saw her mother crying at the sight of her son making him move his arm lacing his fingers in hers . 
“I'm glad i didn’t miss this” she whispered seeing how happy her parents were.
 “ Me too,” he smiled, eyes locked on her , seeing how happy she was. 
taglist : @vicmc624
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allylikethecat · 6 months
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Sleepover weekend!
I'm so sorry you were crying at a horse show recently--that's truly the worst experience, so here's a horrible(?) competition experience. I got a new horse and I took her to a one day schooling eventing thing and everyone who knew this horse told me she was A Lot for cross country and I, like an idiot, figured I'd be completely fine, but by the time we got to jump five or six, I was so close to losing my shit or just completely freaking out and the jump judge thought I was having a panic attack or something and was about to call the paramedics out. We finished the course and my horse took good care of me, but we were truly one bad jump away from a disaster.
On another note, I'm curious about the horse characters in All the King's Horses--do they have real life inspirations?
Yay!! Sleepover Weekend! Sorry for only just now responding on Sunday lol
It's okay! I know I can be really dramatic and sensitive - especially when things have to do with Pop. I love him so much, and most of the time I need to ride better and not make sketchy inside turns BUT SOMETIMES my guy needs to pick his back feet up omfg
Okay first off, you are so incredibly brave for doing cross country in the first place omfg I do 99% of my riding in a nice safe arena with walls lol BUT I am happy that despite the tears and how not fun it was that y'all made it through the course in one piece and that disaster did not occur. I hope things also got better with the new horse!
Ahhh yesss the horse characters in All the King's Horses! Some of them are based on horses that I know or are a combination of multiple horses. Mars has an IRL counterpart and I am happy to report he was an extremely good boy showing this week! He is stupidly athletic but sometimes needs direct and some hand holding lol Sally is a mix of a few different horses I know, with a dash of my dream horse thrown in there, even if I am more of a gelding person myself. Fictional!Matty just really gives me "mare person" vibes, and therefore will continue to have mares. Don't worry, because I am extremely extra, Pop will be making an appearance soon (maybe this entire fic was created just as an excuse to put my horse in a fic who knows lol)
Thank you SO MUCH for sending me a Sleepover Weekend and thank you so much for reading All the King's Horses! I love how many secret or not so secret horse people are in this fandom! I hope your weekend went well and that you have a great week!
❤️Ally
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carcarrot · 4 days
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you'll be pleased to know that on my first day back at my job after my two week vacation i am already in one of my semi-regular Job Crises where i feel like if i dont find a new, better job soon im going to explode into 5 billion pieces
#in case you were wondering if i was handling it well#considering getting some sort of degree . but i cant afford that!!!!!!!!!#but i may need one. if i want a better job........#this is so evil. where are the jobs where you can just do fuck all#in all seriousness back to the degree thing im considering getting a degree in library sciences but i dont even have a bachelors 💀#i was too broke for college! had to work! still have to work! no time or money to go to college then or now!#my crisis aside its extremely funny to me how im not even through my first day back and im like oh lol right i hate every minute of this 👍#also im trying not to have Severe guilt abt the ticket(s) i bought the other day like some crazy person but thats another story#yes ill make the money back yes ill enjoy the show but the Guilt..........#which was entirely because my dad was like >:( when i told him i got a ticket for a Far Lesser amount#and im just hoping he doesnt notice how much my bank account has gone down. oops#but that aside and back to my job crisis:#i cant stand it here!!!!!! i really do hate it!!! and i need a new job. however? everything abt the job process is awful and against me#i was planning on writing an article when i got back from vacation but you guessed it im now too stressed/upset to be creative#which is hampering any possibility of my creative aspirations becoming some sort of career#im so tired. already right back to where i was before my vacation when i really needed a vacation#:( . like ill be fine lol i just. am going through it and these tags have gone on too long#but i think i really will get worse if i stay here for longer and its not even that bad but by god sometimes it is#anyway . im taking it well
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cranberrymoons · 3 months
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#currently on the worst road trip of my whole entire life! well. i don't want to jinx it lmao but#today i popped TWO TIRES at once in the middle of the Katy Freeway in Houston TX (the widest highway in the US; 26 lanes btw)#managed to make it over to the shoulder without DYING but then had to sit there for like an hour? and panic called a tow truck because duh#I know how to change a tire but I was – again – sitting on the shoulder of the widest freeway on the continent so#anyway I called a tow; a guy showed up. I assumed it was the tow! turned out it was not. but he helped me put on the spare and then was lik#“follow me to my shop I can do the tires for you” and I was like okay! 👍 but then the ACTUAL tow called me and I realized this was#just a random guy (very nice up to that point but then I got scared about following him to a secondary location?) and so I didn't lmao#I just kept driving and didn't follow him but the guy on the phone was then mad at me because I wasn't where I said I would be because#AGAIN – I thought the original guy WAS the tow company that I called? but anyway guy 2 on the phone was like “YOU OWE ME $200!!!!”#and I said for what? also how would I pay you? and he tried to get me to cash app him lmao?? I didn't. I hung up on him#he called me like 6 more times yelling at me until I finally just blocked his number 💀#however NOW at this point I'm driving on one spare tire and one rapidly-flattening second tire and I still have 3 hours left to get where#I was going for the night and to top it all off I'm in the middle of a city I've only been to one time before? so I manage to get to a hote#like a nice-ish one where I'm like “okay if I get stuck here this won't be the end of the world”#because keep in mind today is a national holiday so basically everything is closed!!!! btw!!!!!#but eventually I'm sitting there and it's literally 100F outside and I remember oh right lol I have car insurance which pays for a tow#(a normal one; not a random one I panic-found on google who calls me screaming at me to cash app him $200)#so anyway I call my insurance and the guy on the phone is very nice and is like “it's okay; we'll have someone to you in 45 min”#and I'm like okay. OKAY. 🙌💪 I am a strong independent woman who is figuring this out and no longer on the side of the highway#but instead in a nice calm neighborhood and all I have to do is wait 45 min and everything will be okay#one hour goes by. I call back. get redirected to the tow company that was dispatched. guy says oh! is my guy not there yet?#I say no. he says okay – I'll have him call you. hangs up.#okay. 20 more min go by. guy finally calls me. says “I'm 20-25 min away” at this point I've been waiting about an hour and a half#I say. okay? okay. 30 more minutes go by. I try to call the guy back. straight to voicemail. three more calls. three more no answers.#I call my insurance back. sit on hold for 15 min. eventually get put through to a different person who's like “okay let me check on him”#get put on hold. eventually she comes back and says “okay he says 15 minutes” I've been waiting over 2 hours at this point. I have to PEE#I just... burst into tears. on the phone with this poor random woman from Geico Insurance. I'm bawling my eyes out.#she was trying to get claim info from me but I'm crying so hard she's like “oh baby no. okay. okay. we can get that from you tomorrow.”#when you cry so hard that even the insurance company is like “you know what we're just going to let this one slide”#anyway guy eventually shows up. he's very nice even though I hate him a little for being so late. he drives me to an OPEN TIRE SHOP
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27-royal-teas · 9 months
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ngl im kind of panicking rn my throat is sore and dying and i have three choir events this week which includes around one hour of singing straight PLUS my choir director randomly slammed upon me that i am soloing All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey tomorrow, which is an INCREDIBLY vocally challenging song, like, she fucking BELTS, and her fucking VOCAL RUNS. so anyways it’s gonna be a hell of a week on my voice wish me luck
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gynaiko · 6 days
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ㅤㅤㅤSTELLA   IS   NOT   A   GOOD   MOTHER,   AT   ALL;   QUITE   NEGLECTFUL,   ACTUALLY.   THE   KIND   TO   SAY   ‘THAT’S   NICE,   DEAR’   WHILE   NOT   EVEN   LOOKING   AT   VIA.   HOWEVER,   I   DON’T   SUBSCRIBE   TO   FANON’S   GENERAL   INTERPRETATION   WHERE   SHE’S   APPARENTLY   WILLING   TO   KILL   HER   JUST   TO   SPITE   STOLAS.   WE   STILL   HAVEN’T   SEEN   HER   INTERACT   WITH   OCTAVIA   BUT   IF   SHE   TRULY   HATED   HER,   SHE   WOULD   HAVE   THROWN   A   FIT   WHEN   ANDRE   POINTED   OUT   VIA   WOULD   GET   EVERYTHING,
ㅤㅤㅤ&   WHEN   SHE   WAS   SCREECHING   AT   STOLAS,   ASKING   IF   HE   WAS   ‘TURNING   HER   ( VIA )   AGAINST   HER   ( STELLA )’   —   CLEARLY,   SHE   CARES   FOR   VIA.   AGAIN,   SHE’S   NOT   A   GOOD   MOTHER,   PERHAPS   NOT   CODDLING   OR   ‘MOTHERLY’   BUT   ENOUGH   THAT   VIA   HAS   GOOD   MEMORIES   OF   HER   ( PER   THE   LOO   LOO   LAND   EPISODE ),
ㅤㅤㅤREAD   THE   TAGS   FOR   MY   TINFOIL   HAT   RAMBLINGS ,
#⠀⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .⠀𖥔⠀𝗠𝗨𝗦𝗘⠀જ⠀𝖎𝖎.⠀stella#⠀⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .⠀𖥔⠀𝗠𝗢𝗗⠀જ⠀𝖎.⠀out of#⠀⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .⠀𖥔⠀𝗜𝗖⠀જ⠀𝖎𝖛.⠀introspec#ㅤif you know me at all & how i approach my muses; i am canon's bitch albeit i go all out - call me Sherlock. i don't like to defy what we..#ㅤhave so much as i like to rearrange the pieces; if you knew me when i rped Celes / Seras from Hellsing then YOU KNOW what the fuck...#ㅤi'm talking about. TECHNICALLY - when thinking on Stella i'm going by not only what we have seen but the tweets Georgina Leahy made a...#ㅤa while back ( i believe before the Oz episode iirc ) on how Stella is 'complicated & hearbroken' ( something to that effect ) & i...#ㅤ100% Stella was dumbed down + retconned; we even see it in the beatboards for the Loo Loo ep. she looks HAPPY in the family photograph...#ㅤversus the now canon one we got where she has her arms crossed; Via didn't say what she said because she was lying; it's because Stella...#ㅤ& Stolas WERE supposed to get along ( personally i DO believe she was supposed to be in love with him but i don't write it as such )...#ㅤ+ one of the images from a former spindlehorse employee have Stella & Stolas looking cutesy ( very Gomez / Morticia vibes even ). Y'ALL...#ㅤi'm just tired ngl; no hate but i just DO NOT CARE for canon!Stella. i don't necessarily hate her but she is so uninteresting & boring...#ㅤher constant screeching sends me 😂 BUT ANYWAY yeah i was thinking about it the other day & there's SO MUCH i want to get into with...#ㅤStella; i aim to still portray her more or less as Stella from the show ( in a sense ) - she still screeches & such but it just takes a...#ㅤlot longer for her to get to that point & only Stolas knows how to push those buttons. PERSONAL THEORY? not personal preference BUT my...#ㅤhunch is that she was supposed to be 'love' Stolas ( how much is debatable but she was at least cooperative enough for the wealth )#ㅤuntil Viv changed her mind for the billionth time & decided to make her lame. also ngl... i'm dumb because i didn't catch on to the fact..#ㅤthat Stella was supposed to be a swan at first; i genuinely thought she was a pigeon?? Viv why the fucking white on white; WHY. arrghh...#ㅤbring back green!Stella i'm begging you... OKAY RANT / TIN FOIL HAT OFF <3 had to purge the spitballs within my head ( i'm trying to...#ㅤstall in packing for tomorrow asdklhadsf i don't wanna )
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aghostshipontheblue · 9 months
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I had a list of movies and tv shows to watch while on my Christmas holidays, I’ve managed one and somehow two seasons of Jack Reacher????
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fantabulisticity · 2 months
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So after Karaoke tonight, I drove out to the boonies (about a half hour drive from town) to see the Perseid meteor shower! I laid on my back for like 30ish minutes, saw two meteors, and was really sleepy so I drove home. But I really enjoyed just lying in the quiet, listening to the crickets and breeze and my own breathing, gazing up at the faintly visible Milky Way and twinkling stars. The night sky is so, so beautiful.
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toastsnaffler · 4 months
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ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.
#just got home and went to put my shit away but my flatmate was in the kitchen and i got suddenly so mad i had to walk back out#not going to do or say anything while im this upset. i need to be a lot calmer before i can even be in the same room as her#like okay. so originally it was just the two of them getting drinks and theyd rather it was just them bc i dont drink. thats cool#it wouldve been difficult for me to join them after work bc travel. and ik theyd done this before just the 2 of them and had fun#i can fully respect that its why i said no and stuck by that decision when she asked again#but to not mention she was taking the day off work and btw i just found out that BOTH of our other old flatmates joined in too#to not mention that they were travelling that entire distance and that it wasnt just drinks it was a whole day out together#thats just mean. why wouldnt you tell me that why did none of them say anything.#and the fact they did the exact same fucking thing last weekend too i didnt know about that at all#like i need to stop trying to justify it. im allowed to feel unwanted and excluded bc thats exactly what theyre doing.#im tired of feeling like other people dont want me around. i know i can be difficult and annoying sometimes. but im really not that bad#and we're meant to be friends!!!!!! like youre supposed to like your friends. and want to spend time with them. or at least i do#and yeah everyones annoying sometimes thats just part of being alive ur supposed to tolerate it if ur friends#im allowed to want to feel like im wanted. im allowed to want ppl to care abt me. that shouldnt be too much to ask for#but the overwhelming message im getting at the moment is they dont want me around. and when i am around them i feel like they dont listen#to me and that they dont really care how i feel unless it directly involves them or theyre responsible for it#i feel like they dont see me as a real person that exists. only a version they have in their heads and they base all their assumptions and#decisions off that version instead of directly communicating with me. and constantly avoid me under the guise of 'giving me space'#when im upset or having a difficult time and most need support from other people. i just feel really unseen#and ik that part of how i feel IS exacerbated by insecurity and depression. like they do care to some degree#but also a lot of it is evidenced in the way they act towards me. mainly my roommate bc shes the person i interact with most#and personally i find the most direct ways of showing u care abt someone are showing up for them. and making them feel seen#and maybe not everyone feels the same way. but thats how it works for me anyway#so to repeatedly exclude me and avoid acknowledging that ive been having a difficult time is the opposite of that to me#which is the point im trying to arrive at... sorry ik ive probably said similar things repeatedly the last few weeks but i feel like its#crystallising a bit like this is the core reason why im so sensitive and reactive atm and why i got so upset by it#idk. not tonight bc im still very emotionally raw but maybe tomorrow if im calmer i should explain that i was upset + why to her#i avoid doing that so often when im upset bc i dont think theres much point in having a conversation abt it unless u expect some kind of#resolution from it. or if you want an apology but idrc abt being apologised to the crucial thing is what theyre going to do different#and i love her but shes very resistant to changing her behaviour bc of other ppl being upset by it. and like i said before she has
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dutybcrne · 5 months
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From a very young age, Kaeya held such a fondness for handholding. Whether it was his father clinging tightly to him to make sure he didn’t get lost, Adelinde’s gentle, grounding hand closed over his to comfort him whenever his nerves got the better of him, Crepus’s rough-palmed, firm yet comforting grip as he brought him back home, or, as it was most often of all, Diluc’s warm, yet at times uncomfortably tight hold as he dragged him anywhere, everywhere, determined to always keep Kaeya close and eagerly show him all there was to see, Kaeya treasured the gesture greatly.
Of course, being as shy as he was, initiating it himself was always the harder part. So much so, he would tend to hold pinkies, rather than outright take a person’s hand in his own. Eventually, it would become his most common way to go about the gesture of affection.
#hc; kaeya#//Handholding is one of his favorite ways of affection bc 1) it’s not too overwhelming when it comes to his touch aversion#//The sensation is all focused in one spot; and even then; it’s more grounding than uncomfortable bc of how firm people’s grasp tends to be#//He really took to holding pinkies bc he realized he could ‘test’ people that way#//If it was a bother to them; they wouldn’t blink twice before moving their hand from his hold. so rejection isn’t as BIG; more subtle#//And if they Liked it; they could either accept it as is or make him happier and take firmer hold of his hand#//Once he was more confident; he would go straight to more outright handholding. Klee ofc got that RIGHT from the getgo. Bc she is smol &#liked him from the start. Even if her Pyro energy did make him uncomfortable at first; but he got used to it. for her#//Luc made it easy to go right to it to—the kid would always seem to know when he wanted to hold hands for whatever reason and grabbed hold#before Kae could link pinkies. kae did like the fact that Luc would Pout the few times Kae did link pinkies instead of hold hands#//Pout; & snatch his hand firmly in his like ‘Why did you do that? THIS way’s better’. Love the image of bby!Kae grabbing bby!Luc’s sleeves#but lbr; they deffo held hands a lot as kiddos. Bc we all know just how (canonically) indulging Luc is with whatever Kae wants. Once Luc#//figured him out; it was a Very common sight; seeing Luc tromping around like the proud lil protector he was; & Kae scurrying after him#//Lil subtle delighted gleams in his eye compared to Luc’s more overt confidence and joy. So common a sight; it was no surprise that#Kae was Deffo distressed when Luc inevitably grew out of it. Adjusted; yeah; but the sudden Change was deffo NOT good for his nerves#//Clung to Addie a lot to make up for it; until he heard the maids tittering abt how childish he was being#//He quit that FAST; finding other ways to stave off his nerves and show his affection#//Sometimes when he’s drunk at Angel’s Share; he gets tempted to hold Luc’s hand—an old habit dredged back up bc he wants comfort#//But any sudden moves Luc makes; whether bc he noticed Kae reaching out or not; utterly scare the urge away every time#//He’s made his peace with Luc resenting him; but it still stings that the ONE person he felt closest to is now practically a Chasm away#//Not like he helps any with that; running away or lashing out every time Luc tries to bridge gaps or shows concern#//Sends him into fight or flight mode every time—who’s to say Kae won’t fuck it up and make a Luc regret trying?#//Might as well sabotage it all himself—at least THEN he knows with utmost certainty it will end failure. Whoops veered off topic#//The closer he is to someone; the more likely he ends up toying with their hands a bit—esp if Interested in them#//Likes playing with their fingers; linking; unlinking and slotting them together; tracing lines on their palms#//Cute shit like that. He likes seeing how they fit together; the differences in size and how they feel#//This was all bc I saw a detail from a show pointed out on the Twitter ndnfn. And thought the pinkie thing was SO cute. Anywho#//Hi. Shit happened irl & I am still not 100%. Not saying what bc it’s not a pleasant topic; but know I am ok#//Just a lil tired. But kinda wanna hcs for rn. I had a lil burst of energy earlier today. that was nice. Over a long dead show; no less#//But it helped lift my mood a bit. I still kinda wish I could drink rn tho. Think it’d help my brain rn
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