#i just got back from the show and i am TIRED
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flw3rrr · 2 days ago
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I love the idea of sevika with a retired brothel worker. Like they fell in love and sevika got her a job at the last drop or smth.
I also love the idea of mama sevika. I would love to give her a child 😭 so maybe domestic fluff around sevika her wife and their child. Lil' Families are my favorite thing
The bright side of things
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Parings: Sevika x Retiredbrothelworker!reader
Warnings: Nothing major, Fluff, just full on FLUFF, No mentions of Y/n, and no description of reader. Sevika trying to seem tough around the kid, but fails. (100% let me know if anything is missed!)
Word count: 1.4k
Not proofread! sorry for any typos. I wrote this at like 2 am....oops
A/n: Thank you so much for this request. I loved this idea so much when I first read it, so I had to do this one immediately! 
(I have so many more amazing requests in my inbox, and I'll get to them soon! Thanks so much again for sending this, and I hope you enjoy it)
Dividers by: @cafekitsune
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Ever since you retired from working at the brothel, life seemed more simple and comfortable. Sevika, who you met a few months ago before your retirement, had grown onto you. The way she carried herself whenever she would stride around the building made you burn inside a little.
It all got better when you were told you were booked for an hour. Dreading what kind of person you'd have to entertain or boost their ego to make them feel something, but with a big surprise when your face met with Sevika's, she was leaning back, legs spread open as a cigar sat on her lips. That's how everything started for the both of you.
Sevika offered you a job at the last drop when you first told her of your retirement; it got tiring and exhausting physically and mentally. Your heart melted at her offer and took it immediately. It's something you never in your life thought you would work at, but what can you expect? It's a way better job than working at a brothel, body sore and no break.
You always remember to thank her whenever possible; Sevika isn't the type to show affection in public, so you'd always kiss her on the cheek and lips as a way of thanking her. Sharing each sweet moment with one another in your new shared apartment. The undercity wasn't some fairytale place to grow up, but with her presence, it made you forget everything.
Sevika likes that you took her offer on working at the last drop. She now gets to keep an eye on you, especially when she plays poker, and in the quick moment whenever you'd hand her a drink, your eye's lock on hers every time you hand her the glass, a soft and sweet look. Of course her gaze locks in yours in return, but never softens; she can't let half of the undercity that she's practically on her knees for you.
And this is where the both of you are now, still together and head over heels for one another. The two of you sat on the couch that sat in the small living room; you held a sketchbook, drawing random doodles, never being the professional type, though. Sevika just watches you making a game of her own on trying to guess what you're making or stares very confusingly at it. Everything was quiet and calm until a thump was heard from one of the bedroom doors.
The sound of feet padding against the wooden floor became louder until a small girl appeared with a huge smile on her face. Immediately she decided to join the both of you on the couch, but rather than sit, she began to jump and speak very fast.
"Can I please, please, pleaseee come to work with you, Momma? I want to make drinks with you." Speaking so fast, neither you nor Sevika could comprehend a single word. Glancing at Sevika for a quick moment and back to the child before stopping her from jumping on the couch to avoid any possible injuries.
"Selani, remember what we both said about jumping on the couch? You could get hurt easily." Her smile dropped as she looked at Sevika, who spoke about 'the couch wasn't cheap.' Selani gave a nod in return before sitting herself down onto the couch. Both you and Sevika took Selani in after you both found her alone with nobody near; it broke your heart badly, and with not much nagging, you both quickly became her adoptive parents.
You could tell Sevika cared for her just as much as you did, catching moments between the both of them, Selani play fighting with Sevika, who obviously would go easy on the kid knowing her strength would accidentally crush or break a bone. Or whenever Sevika's arm needed to be repaired or a quick fix, Selani was standing right by her, being the best helper.
Slowly shaking your head, sitting down by Sevika once more, both of you would take Selani with you to the last drop, as you had nobody to watch over her. Thank goodness for Jinx sometimes, but you never wanted to pressure her watching over some kid, but she always proves you wrong when Selani is gone, in seconds walking away with Jinx to do whatever.
Sevika did whatever Silco wanted her to do, whether it be cleaning up one of his messes with people or looking scary behind him. But she is graced with time to herself, which is usually at the table playing poker. You'd always say her playing poker was a show just for you because you got to watch her from afar enjoying the smirk her face always held as the other players held a look of defeat.
"You lucked out, kid; none of us are going today." Sevika spoke up, breaking you out of your train of thought. Selani frowned at the news of not going out. She always wanted to be out exploring or at the last drop, whether it be with Jinx or sneaking away and somehow finding Silco and bothering him; he seemed to not mind, you hoped.
"What? Why not?!" Crossing her little arms in frustration, both of her eyebrows slanted. That is the start of a tantrum you've grown to learn from the years you took her in--not fun at all, you remembered. It took both of you time to learn how to be parents to a child, having no prior experience, though Sevika had a tiny bit from when Jinx was younger.
Sevika let out a huge sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose before looking back up at Selani. "Because we both got the day off, and you usually take those for granted, trust me, kid." Selani's gaze just stared at the both of you; confusion covered her face. The both of you never had a day off, so why now all of a sudden? Adjusting your body to sit more straight, you faced her directly, a soft smile placed on your face knowing it's good to talk to her straightforwardly with a few restrictions but to help her feel more validated and that she had your attention.
"It's a good thing not to worry, Selani; it just means me and Sevika have the whole day with you to play or cook, even just relax if you wanted." As soon as those words left your mouth, her face lit up as if she saw a whole pile of candy with a sign that said free. "Really!" A toothy grin appeared with one missing front tooth. Giving her a nod, she immediately shot up, running over to the both of you.
Once she was in front of you both, you could tell many ideas of games were filling her little mind. Taking both of your hands, making you stand. "Do you guys have any game ideas?" Selani asked, pride filled within you, teaching her to always ask her friends if they had any ideas before doing all of hers to ensure a fair game. Within a second, Sevika tapped her shoulder before dragging you away, running. "Your it!" is what you had managed to comprehend.
"That's cheating!" Selani yelled, her laugh heard behind you as you both ran. Now ending up in your shared room with Sevika, you purposely slowed down, letting Selani catch up and tap you. Quietly, you both teamed up to get Sevika and corner her. She went in the other room first, then you followed behind.
Immediately, Selani ran at Sevika, jumping on her; following Selani's actions, avoiding hitting them both, the three of you land onto the bed. Laughter could be heard throughout the whole apartment. And if it was heard by anyone, they would only think how happy you all are. This was your safe spot, where happiness is the love of your life and beloved child. 
Sevika carefully flipped Selani over the bed, and a game of play fighting began. You watched to make sure they both didn't get hurt, and to your surprise, Selani pulled the kick method. "You called what I did cheating. What you're doing is cheating!" She joked, a smile plastered on her face as she managed to get ahold of Selani.
In a moment, Selani whispered something to Sevika, and a grin grew as they both slowly turned to look at you. "Uh oh, what's going on?" With a blink of an eye, they both grabbed you, landing back onto the bed, Selani tickled you on your stomach.
Even if your laughs filled the room, your thoughts only held on how much you adored this moment and would cherish it forever.
Life for you got automatically better and brighter once they both entered your life, and you'd never trade it away.
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rineros · 2 days ago
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SHE WAS TOO GOOD TO ME
summary: he wants to heal
characters: miya atsumu, ex!reader
contains: 1.6k, self reflection post breakup
note: don’t judge ooc atsuwu i haven’t written hq fics in four years and he was the closest person to my ex bestie #fuckthatguy
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sometimes, miya atsumu allows himself to wonder what could have happened if he wasn’t such an asshole.
he glances to his right. across the empty side of the bed where the scent of your shampoo was fading, his alarm clock reads 2:56 am. he groans loudly in frustration and drags his hands down his face, stretching out his tired features.
he stares at his ceiling that is illuminated by the glow in the dark stars you and he stuck up there once upon a time. a small smile strikes him when he remembers walking in on you hopping on the bed to get them up there.
he had watched you for a minute before you saw him. he’ll never forget that warm, fuzzy feeling in his chest when you laughed joyously the moment you saw him and jumped from the bed to his arms. he held on to you tightly as he spun you around, relishing in the feeling of being truly loved.
you had kissed him so gently as you smiled when he set you down that he thought of himself as an adorable little puppy.
you excitedly showed him the progress you had made over the past hour, which honestly wasn’t much, but he knew you had probably gotten distracted by your phone.
“i got an idea,” he said, putting his hands on your shoulders. “turn around.”
“you’re one dirty dog, you know that?” you giggled as you followed his movements.
you had yelped as you felt yourself being hoisted up into the air, but he gripped your waist as you held on to his hair for dear life. you steadied yourself and praised him for being such an innovative and creative problem-solver, making his cheeks flush.
from there, he walked to wherever in the room you wanted to place the stars, bed be damned, and by the time you two had finished, the sun had set. he set you down as he had done earlier and the two of you had lain patiently in bed, talking to pass the time as you waited for the darkness to settle.
when the stars started glowing, both of you had squealed childishly, but he thought that all those rare, once-in-a-lifetime comets could never compare to the sparkle in your eyes. cheesy, he knows.
he checks his clock again. it’s a quarter past three.
osamu’s going to be pissed if he calls him.
fuck it.
atsumu grabs his phone from the nightstand and dials the person who will always listen to him. he cringes when he hears osamu’s ringtone across the hallway.
it rings… and rings… and rings. voicemail.
an eerie silence settles in the apartment. you always hated that. the air is still, his pillow is much too flat, and there’s a disturbing feeling bubbling in his throat.
atsumu jumps and drops his phone on his face as his ringtone blares in his ears. he pinches the bridge of his nose, rubbing it to soothe the sharp pain as he accepts the call.
“the hell you want?” the raspy voice of his brother mutters. atsumu feels bad because he knows that osamu’s first class starts at 8:00, but he can’t deal with this anymore tonight.
“i just… i wanted to talk.” his foot starts to shake and bounce as the silence returns.
a second passes, then another.
“come over.”
with that, his restless body rises from bed and walks quickly and nimbly across the hall to osamu’s room with his blanket wrapped around him. he opens the door to a half-asleep osamu and climbs into his queen-sized bed, the perk he received since atsumu got the bigger room. he makes himself comfortable as he lays on his side to face osamu, bringing the blanket up to his chin, basking in the warmth that could never match your own.
“gimme a sec,” osamu says gruffly. his eyes are still closed as he lays on his back. atsumu watches as he takes a few more deep breaths, then slowly cracks his neck to wake himself up. “talk.”
atsumu moves to lay himself on his back after he sees his eyes open slightly. they both stare at osamu’s bare ceiling.
“i never told you this, but when she broke up with me,” he pauses. “she didn’t cry. she looked too exhausted.
“she told me even before we broke up that i stopped putting in as much effort and that she felt like she wasn’t even in a relationship anymore, just the ghost of it.
“she completely tore me to shreds without even raising her voice because that’s who she is. no matter how much you hurt her, she’ll never hurt you. she cares too much. she wasn’t even trying to rip into me, like, she was just explaining the type of person i am and how my actions affected her and everyone’s perception of me.
“she told me that every time i hurt her, it seemed like i didn’t take her seriously and i never took accountability for my actions; i was always trying to weasel my way out of trouble.
“but i just wanted to preserve everyone’s feelings, y’know? i wanted to keep the peace. i never meant to make her feel like that.”
atsumu stops talking for a second as he waits for osamu to say something. it’s all a blur, with bits and pieces flashing in his head, but he could never forget the blank look in your eyes as you pointed out his shortcomings as a person, not just as a boyfriend.
“we judge others based on their actions, but we judge ourselves by our intentions,” osamu says. his voice is still ragged with exhaustion and his eyes have closed yet again. “i heard mom say somethin’ like that to her friend once.
“i believe you when you say you think you didn’t do anything wrong, but that’s only from your perspective. you’re busy; i get that and so does she. there’s volleyball, classes, homework, clubs, work, your friends, and then you added her, but it seems like you had spread yourself too thin already—“
“and that’s exactly one of the points i told her,” atsumu interrupts. “i’m not gonna be able to give her 100% all the time because i already do so much.”
osamu side-eyes him. “will you shut up and let me finish?”
atsumu huffs but lets him continue anyway.
“what i’m trying to get at is that, yeah, you’re busy, but you’re not the only person that’s busy. this isn’t just your world that we’re living in, it’s everyone’s. to her, it must have seemed like all of the effort, time, and love she invested in you was losing its value every time you ignored her or prioritized something stupid when she needed you. it’s not difficult to detach yourself from something that treats you like you don’t matter if you know your worth.
“you also lie. a lot. and i know you think they’re harmless little white lies, but they’ve gotten too out of hand lately that you’ve probably become desensitized to them.
“she’s smart and she knows you. she knew whenever you lied and it destroyed any kind of trust or credibility that you had.
“and that bullshit about wanting to spare everyone’s feelings? you know you don’t care about all that. also, who cares? nobody made you play mediator besides yourself and it’s impossible to not hurt anyone. you’re already hurting people; you’ve done it before and you’re going to keep doing it because that’s what learning is about. making mistakes. and if you haven’t already realized that you’re hurting people more than you would if you’d just tell the damn truth, you’re screwed,” osamu finishes his monologue, leaving atsumu in his thoughts.
was it really that bad for you? was he?
when he was younger, his tongue was as sharp as a shard of glass and he was much more careless with his words. it didn’t matter to him if the true words, in his opinion, hurt those around him. his belief was that there was no improvement without criticism. as he grew up, however, he had to learn to filter himself because nobody would willingly choose to be around someone who solely focused on their flaws.
and somewhere between then and now, he had forgotten the importance of honesty, usually opting to twist and bend the truth to preserve his reputation. it started off with a fib of “too much hw, can’t hang tn :(“ to multiple complicated lies spanning months, in which he would tell others things to make himself seem better. the kinder person, the most reliable, the smartest. just better.
eventually, it became too difficult to manage all of these lies and his stories became mixed up. when he was questioned about it, he would lie even more and even harder.
even now, as osamu told atsumu what he thought of him and his situation with you, there wasn’t much good. though atsumu came to osamu for comfort tonight, he, like you, wasn’t trying to make him feel bad, but it seems that’s the way he is destined to feel about himself when his personality is brought into conversation.
osamu snores next to him and as atsumu snuggles up to his blanket further, he realizes that this is a path he no longer wants to walk down.
he’s going to be better.
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nor-4 · 7 hours ago
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Meant To Be Yours - LH
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Tags - Violence, Obsession, Murder, Sickening Love, Jealousy
"Dear, look at this news..." Lewis called out from the living room, he's sitting on manspread on the couch while watching the TV news - very comfortable only wearing grey sweatpants. His upperbody exposed his tattoos on the view.
"Oh come on, you have to show something when I'm literally doing something." You sighed rolling your eyes as you walk out of the walk in closet to the living room seeing lewis' state with roscoe's head resting on his lap.
"Nah because look at this. The guy killed his OWN girlfriend, can you believe that?" He said pointing on the TV emphasizing the word 'own' which made you giggle a little before looking at the TV screen. The news reporter explaining what happened with a disgusted look that she tried to hide but failed miserably. "I apologize to people who are eating. The suspect chopchop the victim's body part before burying them on a different locations. Such as in the fronyard of his house, on the park, feeding the others to his pets and the rest are the most unimaginable thing ever happened."
They showed a blurred yet bloodied and you can still see clearly the dead body on the woman. It's so disturbing, you are pretty thankful that you're not eating dinner at the moment. It sends shiver down your spine same as it did to your boyfriend.
"Shit... Tsk, baby, I'm getting goosebumps please come hug me here..." Lewis look at his back to see you standing behind him as you giggled at his words before sitting beside him on the couch opposite side of roscoe, his hand automatically going to your shoulder pulling your body closer and flushed into his. "You know for a 7th world time champion you sure are easy to scare.." You teased him as you snuggled closer to him, smelling the familiar scent of his manly cologne.
"Hey there's a whole difference of being the best driver on track and with that heartless bastard on the news. Men these days..." He shook his head disapprovingly a bit disturbed at the sudden murder news when he's trying to enjoy his free time and peace with you. He wonders how could a boyfriend - the main man of someone's life could do that to them, heartlessly and selfishly.
He never even imagine a moment of laying a hand on you, from all your argument you talk it out with him reaching out to you first. Never letting you sleep with heavy heart and anger towards him and your relationship, he always want peace between you.
"You've got to be kidding me, you're bothered by this? On the news seriously?" You mockingky asked turning to him raising one of your eyebrow in question, "Baby, are you hearing what the news reporter said? He killed his own girlfriend, of course I am" He said squeezing your arm trying to defend himself.
"Oh wow, that's rich coming from you, huh..." You rolled your eyes as you look at the large mirror hanging on the wall in the living room. There's only one human figure - lewis' and roscoe who's head is still resting on his thigh, Lewis look stupid holding the air but from his perspective he's holding you.
July 5, 2024 3:45 A.M - The day of your death or let's say, The day of his murder.
"Lewis, I'm done okay. I'm already tired, we are always going to this endless fucking loop. You getting jealous of this, of him, of whatever then what? We'll have a stupid argument about someone, it's like you never even trust." You frustratedly said rummaging on your walk in closet opening your suitcase putting your clothes and stuff even if it's messy just so you'll have enough stuff to leave with.
"Baby... What the fuck are you doing? What do you think are you doing?!" His voice starting to raise as he tried to stop you but you push his hand away continuing to pack, "I can't stand your bullshit, you're always like this. I'm always walking on an eggshell around you, I can't even breathe." Your murmured as you continue to pack as his anger is rising even more.
"I hate you, Samantha. You've ruined everything. Our relationship, our future, my life. All because you're selfish and stupid. You're meant to be mine and I'm Meant To Be Yours." He spits the words at you, his face twisted in anger and heartbreak. "Oh wow, so I'm the selfish now. Stop trying to reverse things, Lewis, You're the selfish one, you're the one I should be hating!" You jab back to him as you zip your suitcase close.
"I'm not letting you go, Samantha. I don't care if you hate me, if you fear me. You're mine, whether you like it or not. And I'll do anything, anything to keep you by my side." He watch as you stood up before he slams you on the wall his hand quickly wrapping around your neck his thumb on your pulse. You tried to push him away, squirm, scream, punch him but he's far too strong - definitely because of his years in racing. It doesn't give any justice that he's too strong than you.
"Don't fight me. I'm warning you, I'm all out of fucks to give. I've been patient, I've been understanding, but you... you pushed me too far." His voice is low, threatening once you tried to push him again but in one go he squeezed your throat and your pulse point making your vision blurry in every energy and breath left you tried to talk to him but his anger is ringing in his ears to even hear you.
As you collapse on his arms like a ragdoll, trying to catch the oxygen but it's far too late. That's when he snap out of it, "Baby... Baby, wake up... Hey hey... Hey..." He kneel on the floor as you drop he tried to shake you awake, cpr and everything but nothing happened. You're not breathing, you're starting to pale. That's when the panic sets in him, he killed you with his own hands. The same in that used to caress you with love, that touches you gently, the one that never failed to flatter you.
As he broke down crying he can't destroy his career no, not the same ones he build with you, the ones he build for you. He decided to go downstairs taking a glass of water with many ice in it before putting it on the floor beside you - basically making it seems that you choked on ice since the public knows you love to chew on eyes. No one would suspect cause in the autopsy they wouldn't see anything, they wouldn't know anything because in their prediction the ice just melts without knowing that it's your obsessive boyfriend the one who did it to you.
He quickly left the scene he went into the paddock for his practice race. No one would suspect that he left you there, dead and cold in the walk in closet. He acted normal in the paddock, the interview only sees him as a stressed man in his homerace in Silverstone. When they found your body he stated that he never knew anything, that he's too busy to look after you, even cried on live news acted all shock to hear the news.
He stood infront of the camera as the stressed innocent boyfriend who had lost the love of his life. Even said a reminder to always be careful and always look out for your love ones no matter how busy or stressed you are. In your funeral he cried very hard not only because of your loss but also out of guilt. But one the things he know because of this everyone will only remember him as your boyfriend and you as his dead girlfriend. He doesn't have to worry about any man getting near you, stealing you away. Because even in your last breath he is your man.
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monophobix · 2 days ago
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Ekko and Mel......now that was personal. They really gave them the Magical Negro™ treatment and no time to explore it. And oh boy, am I tired of it. I hate the narrative of black characters having to self-sacrifice for people who would not do the same for them. Could you imagine being fucked with by something like the Arcane or LeBlanc for allegedly a year or so,just to immediately go to war the moment you're back in normal surroundings? Do they get a break at all? Like damn.
Neither of these characters nor their trauma was ever taken seriously. I haven't forgotten how this fandom acted towards Mel in season one because of her entanglement with Jayce and the blatant slut-shaming and misogynoir that came with it. Nor have I forgotten how Ekko and his dynamic with Jinx was hyped up for the past three years to market season 2, just to barely get screen time in said season (outside saving everyone's ass in the finale).
(Insert the Rose McGowan saying "Imagine how tired we are" meme.)
ok so there are some aspects of this that i agree and disagree with
- the self-sacrificing part i disagree with. yes both characters have miserable endings but other characters also sacrificed themselves for others i.e. jinx, viktor, jayce so i don’t think this specifically is just a mel and ekko thing. i also do believe that atleast ekko has characters who would 100% sacrifice themselves for him aka jinx, maybe vi. as for mel, she is very alone and it’s miserable but she’s also the character most likely to be in the show forwards (noxus seasons) so i doubt this is the end for her.
- i agree that we should’ve seen more consequences of what they went through. the black rose and mel and leblanc deffo should’ve had more emphasis and it’s really annoying we didn’t actually learn shit about that. again, hopefully the noxus show will elaborate. as for ekko, we did get an entire episode focused on him but i still agree that we should’ve seen more from when he got back. with the amount that timebomb was hyped up we absolutely should’ve seen more of it and the fact we didn’t was a massive shame and entirely netflix’s fault (the finale was supposed to be over an hour but was forced to be cut down). i rlly hope they release those scenes :((
- i agree that the fandom definitely needs to fix up on mel. i understand people disliking her when season 1 released because there were a lot of unknowns but anyone who hates on mel just to serve jayvik deserves to be shot maddie style. you don’t have to like a character but people also need to learn to not be a misogynistic twat too.
generally, i get where your coming from because things were really rushed and we didn’t get to see as much development as was actually written, but i don’t see it as a race issue since it’s not only mel and ekko who were done dirty like this but also many others (vi, jinx, isha, sevika) who didn’t get the on screen time they deserved. idk lol
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emmawithtwoms · 2 days ago
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The Quidditch Pitch
@wolfstarmicrofic day 27 -517 words
Remus followed the path leading him to the Quidditch pitch, all bundled up in his scarf, jacket and gloves. 
As he got closer to the entrance, he could hear the clear noise of a bulger being hit with incredible force, again and again. 
Finally he reached the green field, where he could make out, right in the middle, the shape of his boyfriend in his Quidditch gear, holding the bat and looking at the sky, waiting for the bulger to come back. 
“I knew I would have found you here.”
“What do you want, Remus?”
Sirius punctuated the end of the sentence by hitting the ball with his bat.
“I was just looking for you.”
“Mh, well you found me, good job.”
Another hit
“Come on Pads, you can’t be that mad at me…” 
Actually, if Sirius was out here hitting bulgers to calm his nerves, that meant he was that mad, but Remus liked delusion.
“Oh, I’m sorry, am I overreacting by actively not fighting with you?”
Another hit, this time the ball went well over the rings
“Well I wouldn’t say we are not fighting, we are passive-aggressively dancing around the subject.”
“Remus Lupin, that bulger is gonna hit your head next. Don’t challenge my aim.”
“Ok ok, no need to threaten me, Love. I’m sorry, alright?”
Another hit
“Sorry for what, exactly?”
“I’m sorry for not telling my mum that you were my boyfriend… I promise you I’ll tell her.”
“Remus, this is not what I’m mad about.”
“It isn’t”
“No.”
Sirius huffed, dropped his bat and charmed the bulger to go back in its trunk.
“I am mad because you treat me like I’m your dirty secret, like I’m something you are ashamed about. I will not force you to come out to your mum, or anybody for that matter, but I cannot stay a whole week at your house pretendinhìg to be just your friend. I will not tiptoe around and hide behind dark corners. I have been doing that my whole life, Remus, I’m tired of hiding and feeling dirty.”
“Sirius… I.I didn’t mean to make you feel like that, I’m-”
“I know, don’t worry. Let’s just go.”
“No. I will worry, because that’s something that makes you suffer. You are not something I am ashamed about, Sirius, I do not want you to feel like I don’t want to show you off to everybody, I just… I need time to break the news to my mum, to everybody, because I’m scared. But I will, I swear that I will, just give me some time, please Sirius.” 
They were standing close to each other now, Remus was staring at the ground and fiddling his fingers, so Sirius lifted his chin with his hand and softly kissed him. 
“I know, Moony, I know you will. I don’t want you to feel forced to do it, though. Just… don’t run away from me, don’t hide so much, please. We can go slow, I can give you all the time you need, love.”
“Thank you, Sirius. I love you.”
“I love you too”
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hxzbinwrites · 3 days ago
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Hii can I get a Lucifer & reader?? Just the sillies hanging out together after a stressful day :))
(Purely platonic btw)
Lucifer x Platonic! Reader | A New Friend
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Warnings ⚠️: Mentions of depression, cussing
Sighing, Lucifer closed the door to his private studio. He was grateful Charlie gave him a space within the hotel, rather than being an outside observer once more, but keeping up with the hotel residents got exhausting.
Well, more of just Alastor's nonsense, not the rest of the hotel per se, but whatever.
The former angel let his wings relax as he plopped down in his chair, swiveling around to look at the contents on his desk. He had an hour before dinner to properly relax, but all he did was tense up when he saw how little work he had done on his ducks today.
Lucifer grumbled as he repositioned the duck he was currently working on under a propped up magnifying glass, before ever so slightly picking up his paint brush to make a tiny detail-
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
"You've got to be kidding me." Lucifer quietly mumbled, before rolling his eyes dramatically and getting up. His tired hand supporting his lower back before making the trek over to the door.
He was about to tell off whoever dared to interrupt the little free time he allots himself now that he's helping with the hotel, before pausing to see Charlie there.
"Oh hi Sweetie" Lucifer said, giving her a soft smile,"What do you need?"
"Ohhhh nothing!" Charlie lied, "just an itty bitty tiny little baby favor...!"
Lucifer sighed, oh boy did she inherit a LOT of his personality. "What is it Charlie? I'll help you."
"Ohhhh thank you thank you thank you!!"
Charlie pounced on her father, giving him a very tight embrace. Lucifer may have been tired, but he was never going to deny his sweet daughter of affection.
"Okay okay, what is it you need me to do?" Lucifer asked, smiling at his daughter.
"Well, we got a new guest! Just now, they walked in the door! I hate to ask you, but me and Vaggie are making dinner tonight since it's our turn, Alastor will corrupt the guest, Nifty will scare them, Husk doesn't care, and Angel is working tonight! Please Dad, can you ease them in tonight?"
"Oh a Sinner.....ugh, fine! You know how I feel about them, but I love you more than I hate them"
Charlie hugged her father tightly once more, before flittering down the hallway happily.
Once she was gone, Lucifer let out a large sigh. He glanced back at his duck station, before resealing all of the paint so it wouldn't dry, then somberly stepped away from it.
He begrudgingly stepped out of his chamber, and closed the door behind him. Lucifer made his way down to the foyer, where a Sinner was standing, very confused.
"Hello" They said, looking at Lucifer,"are you the owner of this hotel?"
"No" Lucifer replied, "My daughter is, but I am here to help you settle in tonight."
The Sinner relaxed at hearing that. "My name is (Y/n). I think I just died? I'm not really sure, I fell from the sky like 45 minuets ago. I was kinda wondering around when I saw a poster advertising a way to get into Heaven, so I booked it here."
Lucifer smiled at this, sure this was a Sinner who had their chance on Earth to follow the rules, but this one is not as bad as the other low life creatures this place had to offer. Best example, that Alabaster fellow. Alacaster? Alakazam? Never mind.
"Well, this is the right place (Y/n)! My daughter's mission is to help redeem Sinners, like yourself! My name is Lucifer and-"
(Y/n) stepped back a little, eyes widened. "Lucifer?! Like the Devil?! Are you gonna like kill me or something?"
"Oh Heavens no!" Lucifer rebutted, putting his hands up in defense,"I would never! Oh how propaganda spreads these days!"
(Y/n) relaxed once more,"Oh okay....sorry for assuming that!"
"No apologies needed, I understand you're a little confused from falling that's all! Besides, the King of Hell is here to make your stay more enjoyable. Come! Let me show you to your room!"
(Y/n) followed after Lucifer, leading down a hallway towards an empty room. Along the way, however, a certain radio host stopped them.
"My my! I smell an unclaimed soul over here!" A voice said, appearing from behind them, cloaked in a shadow.
"Leave us alone Alabama!" Lucifer said, making Alastor's smile tighten.
"Alabama?" (Y/n) asked,"Is that your name? It's kinda silly to be named after a state-"
"My name is Alastor, the Radio Demon! You might've heard of me from my Radio Show!"
"Nope! No one's ever heard of you pal!" Lucifer said, tugging (Y/n)'s hand, urging them to just ignore the tall, red demon before them.
"How unfortunate" Alastor said, noticing this new guest was being led to a new room,"Charlie just informed me not too long ago that all new guests will need to wait for a room! Nifty is going rather slow on preparing each room, trying to be meticulous! It looks like your friend will have to go!"
(Y/n) deflated, looking towards Lucifer for a rebuttal.
"Well, looks like my new friend will crash with me! Sorry TV Star or whatever you claim to be, the King of Hell takes priority over you. Goodbye now!"
Lucifer didn't wait for another snide comment from Alcatraz, instead he drug (Y/n) along back to his room. The travel there was silent, save for the sound of feet stepping on plush carpet.
Lucifer swung open his door, allowing (Y/n) to step inside, before closing and locking it. He let out a sigh, and visibly deflated.
"Ugh I hate that guy" Lucifer mumbled, not talking to anyone in particular.
"I don't like him either." (Y/n) replied, making Lucifer's head snap up. He didn't think they could hear him. "He was really snarky, and he spoke you to really aggressively."
"Tell me about it" Lucifer replied, plopping back down in his chair. Rather this time his direction was pointing towards his new guest rather than his forgotten ducks.
"Why do you let him speak to you like that? You're the King of Hell, doesn't that make you stronger than him?" They asked, locking eyes with Lucifer's, who's of which widened in shock.
They were right, he had royal authority over him. He couldn't kill him, Charlie would be very upset at that notion, but he could tell him off for being a jerk!
"You're right! Next time I'll put that red weirdo in his place!" Lucifer remarked, smirking as he made a closed fist and slammed in onto his open palm.
"Yeah!" (Y/n) encouraged
Lucifer and (Y/n) held eye contact for a moment before laughing together. Lucifer hadn't laughed this hard in a really long time. His depression made it difficult to go outside of his space to connect with others, so this was a welcome change.
Snapping him out of his trance, (Y/n) said," Are those rubber duckies?"
"Yes! Yes they are!" Lucifer said, swiveling around to open some of his desk drawers to reveal loads of ducks he took with him to the hotel.
"Woah, you make those?" (Y/n) asked, pointing to the unfinished duck Lucifer had attempted to resume before Charlie interrupted.
"Yes I do! Being immortal sucks! There's nothing to do, therefore I took up the most fun, amazing, and fantastic hobby ever! Ducks."
"That's cool!" They replied, walking over to the desk. Lucifer summoned an extra chair for them to sit in while he explained each duck's function, purpose, and overall design.
This lasted for far too short in Lucifer's opinion, as Charlie called his phone. Lucifer nearly dropped his phone, juggling the device between his hands before he finally got a steady grip on it.
"H-Hello?"
"Uhh Dad?" Charlie said, her voice laced with concern,"It's dinner time. You're ten minuets late now, and the new guest isn't here either. Did something happen-"
"Oh sorry dear, we're on our way!"
""We"? Dad I-"
"Okay byeeeee!"
Lucifer hung up on Charlie, before standing up a little too suddenly. He winced as he held his lower back, before regaining his composure. (Y/n) laughed at his old man struggles, before getting up as well. Lucifer rolled his eyes before leading the way to dinner.
Once they arrived at the dinner table, the whole bunch all greeted (Y/n) and welcomed them to the table as a part of the Harbin family.
Lucifer smiled, happy to see his new friend having a good time with their new peers. His smile quickly dropped with Alaska reintroduced himself to them, knowing damn well he had already tried to trick the two of them earlier.
"So" (Y/n) asked Charlie,"When will my room be ready? Alastor said that you said that y'all were remodeling guest rooms right now"
"What? No we're not! Your room is already ready for you! Unless you want it customized, then we can help with that, but your room is defiantly habitable! Alastor! Why would you say that!"
(Y/n) smirked as Charlie started berating Alastor, who of which could not care less about the Princess's complaints.
Lucifer's smile returned at seeing this, any berating of Aardvark was a welcome sight to him. Lucifer glanced over at (Y/n), who glanced back at him.
He had a feeling that they were going to become good friends.
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Word Count: 1,575
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cina-full-moon-xanadium · 3 days ago
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Truthfully I've come out of this rewatch feeling a bit more interested in what the movie's doing and that I've got a bit more to chew on.
It completely brushed past me the first time, perhaps because I expected something absolutely incredulous from Inoue that would be as immediately divisive as his other works; and was rather surprised by something that everyone agreed was just kind of okay. An Inoue work should not just be okay and it should not be something people have an overall consensus on! It should be wild and insane and everyone should be killing each other over it! That's the fun of an Inoue production! I want violence and killing!
But setting those desires aside and taking the movie on its own terms, it feels like it's got a lot to say on... on tiredness, I suppose. As if it's taking that exchange between Takumi and Tsukasa; that line of "I know you're tired of it too", and expanding it into an entire narrative. Of what the point even is of a 20th anniversary project of a show about people living their lives and by the end learning to live for their dreams. Of the celebration and legacy of Faiz as a superhero show versus its actual identity of a soap opera under the guise of superhero identities, and the conflict between those two. As much as Smart Brain becoming a company that hunts down Orphnoch with its AI-assisted Riders draws very obvious social parallels and narratives, does it not also feel like the Kamen Rider aspects bursting into the lives of Mari and Kaido and the people they've met and demanding that it be the center of their lives again?
When Takumi spends years of his life after the end of Faiz devoting himself to Keitaro's dream and feeling genuine happiness and purpose of it in those last years of his, and goes out to die on his own terms; only for Smart Brain to bring him back to life as a brand new Faiz with a smartphone and all these cool abilities to fight Orphnochs once again -- how can I not start to read that as the future of his normal life and his getting to define his normal life being taken away from him by a galvanistic nostalgia of how cool he was as Faiz and how it'd be even cooler if he was still killing monsters with an even better modern tech suit?
How am I truly to take it that not a single enemy in this movie is an Orphnoch, despite so many new ones being introduced; how am I to take it that they are the heart of this movie and that the only deaths the final battle brings about are the new tech AI-assisted Kamen Riders, imitating in nostalgia the faces of those we once knew and demanding as agents of Smart Brain that Takumi take to the battlefield again?
Fuck it, movie's good
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allylikethecat · 8 months ago
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Sleepover weekend!
I'm so sorry you were crying at a horse show recently--that's truly the worst experience, so here's a horrible(?) competition experience. I got a new horse and I took her to a one day schooling eventing thing and everyone who knew this horse told me she was A Lot for cross country and I, like an idiot, figured I'd be completely fine, but by the time we got to jump five or six, I was so close to losing my shit or just completely freaking out and the jump judge thought I was having a panic attack or something and was about to call the paramedics out. We finished the course and my horse took good care of me, but we were truly one bad jump away from a disaster.
On another note, I'm curious about the horse characters in All the King's Horses--do they have real life inspirations?
Yay!! Sleepover Weekend! Sorry for only just now responding on Sunday lol
It's okay! I know I can be really dramatic and sensitive - especially when things have to do with Pop. I love him so much, and most of the time I need to ride better and not make sketchy inside turns BUT SOMETIMES my guy needs to pick his back feet up omfg
Okay first off, you are so incredibly brave for doing cross country in the first place omfg I do 99% of my riding in a nice safe arena with walls lol BUT I am happy that despite the tears and how not fun it was that y'all made it through the course in one piece and that disaster did not occur. I hope things also got better with the new horse!
Ahhh yesss the horse characters in All the King's Horses! Some of them are based on horses that I know or are a combination of multiple horses. Mars has an IRL counterpart and I am happy to report he was an extremely good boy showing this week! He is stupidly athletic but sometimes needs direct and some hand holding lol Sally is a mix of a few different horses I know, with a dash of my dream horse thrown in there, even if I am more of a gelding person myself. Fictional!Matty just really gives me "mare person" vibes, and therefore will continue to have mares. Don't worry, because I am extremely extra, Pop will be making an appearance soon (maybe this entire fic was created just as an excuse to put my horse in a fic who knows lol)
Thank you SO MUCH for sending me a Sleepover Weekend and thank you so much for reading All the King's Horses! I love how many secret or not so secret horse people are in this fandom! I hope your weekend went well and that you have a great week!
❤️Ally
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carcarrot · 2 months ago
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you'll be pleased to know that on my first day back at my job after my two week vacation i am already in one of my semi-regular Job Crises where i feel like if i dont find a new, better job soon im going to explode into 5 billion pieces
#in case you were wondering if i was handling it well#considering getting some sort of degree . but i cant afford that!!!!!!!!!#but i may need one. if i want a better job........#this is so evil. where are the jobs where you can just do fuck all#in all seriousness back to the degree thing im considering getting a degree in library sciences but i dont even have a bachelors 💀#i was too broke for college! had to work! still have to work! no time or money to go to college then or now!#my crisis aside its extremely funny to me how im not even through my first day back and im like oh lol right i hate every minute of this 👍#also im trying not to have Severe guilt abt the ticket(s) i bought the other day like some crazy person but thats another story#yes ill make the money back yes ill enjoy the show but the Guilt..........#which was entirely because my dad was like >:( when i told him i got a ticket for a Far Lesser amount#and im just hoping he doesnt notice how much my bank account has gone down. oops#but that aside and back to my job crisis:#i cant stand it here!!!!!! i really do hate it!!! and i need a new job. however? everything abt the job process is awful and against me#i was planning on writing an article when i got back from vacation but you guessed it im now too stressed/upset to be creative#which is hampering any possibility of my creative aspirations becoming some sort of career#im so tired. already right back to where i was before my vacation when i really needed a vacation#:( . like ill be fine lol i just. am going through it and these tags have gone on too long#but i think i really will get worse if i stay here for longer and its not even that bad but by god sometimes it is#anyway . im taking it well
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cranberrymoons · 5 months ago
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#currently on the worst road trip of my whole entire life! well. i don't want to jinx it lmao but#today i popped TWO TIRES at once in the middle of the Katy Freeway in Houston TX (the widest highway in the US; 26 lanes btw)#managed to make it over to the shoulder without DYING but then had to sit there for like an hour? and panic called a tow truck because duh#I know how to change a tire but I was – again – sitting on the shoulder of the widest freeway on the continent so#anyway I called a tow; a guy showed up. I assumed it was the tow! turned out it was not. but he helped me put on the spare and then was lik#“follow me to my shop I can do the tires for you” and I was like okay! 👍 but then the ACTUAL tow called me and I realized this was#just a random guy (very nice up to that point but then I got scared about following him to a secondary location?) and so I didn't lmao#I just kept driving and didn't follow him but the guy on the phone was then mad at me because I wasn't where I said I would be because#AGAIN – I thought the original guy WAS the tow company that I called? but anyway guy 2 on the phone was like “YOU OWE ME $200!!!!”#and I said for what? also how would I pay you? and he tried to get me to cash app him lmao?? I didn't. I hung up on him#he called me like 6 more times yelling at me until I finally just blocked his number 💀#however NOW at this point I'm driving on one spare tire and one rapidly-flattening second tire and I still have 3 hours left to get where#I was going for the night and to top it all off I'm in the middle of a city I've only been to one time before? so I manage to get to a hote#like a nice-ish one where I'm like “okay if I get stuck here this won't be the end of the world”#because keep in mind today is a national holiday so basically everything is closed!!!! btw!!!!!#but eventually I'm sitting there and it's literally 100F outside and I remember oh right lol I have car insurance which pays for a tow#(a normal one; not a random one I panic-found on google who calls me screaming at me to cash app him $200)#so anyway I call my insurance and the guy on the phone is very nice and is like “it's okay; we'll have someone to you in 45 min”#and I'm like okay. OKAY. 🙌💪 I am a strong independent woman who is figuring this out and no longer on the side of the highway#but instead in a nice calm neighborhood and all I have to do is wait 45 min and everything will be okay#one hour goes by. I call back. get redirected to the tow company that was dispatched. guy says oh! is my guy not there yet?#I say no. he says okay – I'll have him call you. hangs up.#okay. 20 more min go by. guy finally calls me. says “I'm 20-25 min away” at this point I've been waiting about an hour and a half#I say. okay? okay. 30 more minutes go by. I try to call the guy back. straight to voicemail. three more calls. three more no answers.#I call my insurance back. sit on hold for 15 min. eventually get put through to a different person who's like “okay let me check on him”#get put on hold. eventually she comes back and says “okay he says 15 minutes” I've been waiting over 2 hours at this point. I have to PEE#I just... burst into tears. on the phone with this poor random woman from Geico Insurance. I'm bawling my eyes out.#she was trying to get claim info from me but I'm crying so hard she's like “oh baby no. okay. okay. we can get that from you tomorrow.”#when you cry so hard that even the insurance company is like “you know what we're just going to let this one slide”#anyway guy eventually shows up. he's very nice even though I hate him a little for being so late. he drives me to an OPEN TIRE SHOP
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27-royal-teas · 1 year ago
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ngl im kind of panicking rn my throat is sore and dying and i have three choir events this week which includes around one hour of singing straight PLUS my choir director randomly slammed upon me that i am soloing All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey tomorrow, which is an INCREDIBLY vocally challenging song, like, she fucking BELTS, and her fucking VOCAL RUNS. so anyways it’s gonna be a hell of a week on my voice wish me luck
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gynaiko · 2 months ago
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ㅤㅤㅤSTELLA   IS   NOT   A   GOOD   MOTHER,   AT   ALL;   QUITE   NEGLECTFUL,   ACTUALLY.   THE   KIND   TO   SAY   ‘THAT’S   NICE,   DEAR’   WHILE   NOT   EVEN   LOOKING   AT   VIA.   HOWEVER,   I   DON’T   SUBSCRIBE   TO   FANON’S   GENERAL   INTERPRETATION   WHERE   SHE’S   APPARENTLY   WILLING   TO   KILL   HER   JUST   TO   SPITE   STOLAS.   WE   STILL   HAVEN’T   SEEN   HER   INTERACT   WITH   OCTAVIA   BUT   IF   SHE   TRULY   HATED   HER,   SHE   WOULD   HAVE   THROWN   A   FIT   WHEN   ANDRE   POINTED   OUT   VIA   WOULD   GET   EVERYTHING,
ㅤㅤㅤ&   WHEN   SHE   WAS   SCREECHING   AT   STOLAS,   ASKING   IF   HE   WAS   ‘TURNING   HER   ( VIA )   AGAINST   HER   ( STELLA )’   —   CLEARLY,   SHE   CARES   FOR   VIA.   AGAIN,   SHE’S   NOT   A   GOOD   MOTHER,   PERHAPS   NOT   CODDLING   OR   ‘MOTHERLY’   BUT   ENOUGH   THAT   VIA   HAS   GOOD   MEMORIES   OF   HER   ( PER   THE   LOO   LOO   LAND   EPISODE ),
ㅤㅤㅤREAD   THE   TAGS   FOR   MY   TINFOIL   HAT   RAMBLINGS ,
#⠀⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .⠀𖥔⠀𝗠𝗨𝗦𝗘⠀જ⠀𝖎𝖎.⠀stella#⠀⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .⠀𖥔⠀𝗠𝗢𝗗⠀જ⠀𝖎.⠀out of#⠀⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .⠀𖥔⠀𝗜𝗖⠀જ⠀𝖎𝖛.⠀introspec#ㅤif you know me at all & how i approach my muses; i am canon's bitch albeit i go all out - call me Sherlock. i don't like to defy what we..#ㅤhave so much as i like to rearrange the pieces; if you knew me when i rped Celes / Seras from Hellsing then YOU KNOW what the fuck...#ㅤi'm talking about. TECHNICALLY - when thinking on Stella i'm going by not only what we have seen but the tweets Georgina Leahy made a...#ㅤa while back ( i believe before the Oz episode iirc ) on how Stella is 'complicated & hearbroken' ( something to that effect ) & i...#ㅤ100% Stella was dumbed down + retconned; we even see it in the beatboards for the Loo Loo ep. she looks HAPPY in the family photograph...#ㅤversus the now canon one we got where she has her arms crossed; Via didn't say what she said because she was lying; it's because Stella...#ㅤ& Stolas WERE supposed to get along ( personally i DO believe she was supposed to be in love with him but i don't write it as such )...#ㅤ+ one of the images from a former spindlehorse employee have Stella & Stolas looking cutesy ( very Gomez / Morticia vibes even ). Y'ALL...#ㅤi'm just tired ngl; no hate but i just DO NOT CARE for canon!Stella. i don't necessarily hate her but she is so uninteresting & boring...#ㅤher constant screeching sends me 😂 BUT ANYWAY yeah i was thinking about it the other day & there's SO MUCH i want to get into with...#ㅤStella; i aim to still portray her more or less as Stella from the show ( in a sense ) - she still screeches & such but it just takes a...#ㅤlot longer for her to get to that point & only Stolas knows how to push those buttons. PERSONAL THEORY? not personal preference BUT my...#ㅤhunch is that she was supposed to be 'love' Stolas ( how much is debatable but she was at least cooperative enough for the wealth )#ㅤuntil Viv changed her mind for the billionth time & decided to make her lame. also ngl... i'm dumb because i didn't catch on to the fact..#ㅤthat Stella was supposed to be a swan at first; i genuinely thought she was a pigeon?? Viv why the fucking white on white; WHY. arrghh...#ㅤbring back green!Stella i'm begging you... OKAY RANT / TIN FOIL HAT OFF <3 had to purge the spitballs within my head ( i'm trying to...#ㅤstall in packing for tomorrow asdklhadsf i don't wanna )
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aghostshipontheblue · 11 months ago
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I had a list of movies and tv shows to watch while on my Christmas holidays, I’ve managed one and somehow two seasons of Jack Reacher????
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fantabulisticity · 4 months ago
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So after Karaoke tonight, I drove out to the boonies (about a half hour drive from town) to see the Perseid meteor shower! I laid on my back for like 30ish minutes, saw two meteors, and was really sleepy so I drove home. But I really enjoyed just lying in the quiet, listening to the crickets and breeze and my own breathing, gazing up at the faintly visible Milky Way and twinkling stars. The night sky is so, so beautiful.
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phagodyke · 6 months ago
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ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.
#just got home and went to put my shit away but my flatmate was in the kitchen and i got suddenly so mad i had to walk back out#not going to do or say anything while im this upset. i need to be a lot calmer before i can even be in the same room as her#like okay. so originally it was just the two of them getting drinks and theyd rather it was just them bc i dont drink. thats cool#it wouldve been difficult for me to join them after work bc travel. and ik theyd done this before just the 2 of them and had fun#i can fully respect that its why i said no and stuck by that decision when she asked again#but to not mention she was taking the day off work and btw i just found out that BOTH of our other old flatmates joined in too#to not mention that they were travelling that entire distance and that it wasnt just drinks it was a whole day out together#thats just mean. why wouldnt you tell me that why did none of them say anything.#and the fact they did the exact same fucking thing last weekend too i didnt know about that at all#like i need to stop trying to justify it. im allowed to feel unwanted and excluded bc thats exactly what theyre doing.#im tired of feeling like other people dont want me around. i know i can be difficult and annoying sometimes. but im really not that bad#and we're meant to be friends!!!!!! like youre supposed to like your friends. and want to spend time with them. or at least i do#and yeah everyones annoying sometimes thats just part of being alive ur supposed to tolerate it if ur friends#im allowed to want to feel like im wanted. im allowed to want ppl to care abt me. that shouldnt be too much to ask for#but the overwhelming message im getting at the moment is they dont want me around. and when i am around them i feel like they dont listen#to me and that they dont really care how i feel unless it directly involves them or theyre responsible for it#i feel like they dont see me as a real person that exists. only a version they have in their heads and they base all their assumptions and#decisions off that version instead of directly communicating with me. and constantly avoid me under the guise of 'giving me space'#when im upset or having a difficult time and most need support from other people. i just feel really unseen#and ik that part of how i feel IS exacerbated by insecurity and depression. like they do care to some degree#but also a lot of it is evidenced in the way they act towards me. mainly my roommate bc shes the person i interact with most#and personally i find the most direct ways of showing u care abt someone are showing up for them. and making them feel seen#and maybe not everyone feels the same way. but thats how it works for me anyway#so to repeatedly exclude me and avoid acknowledging that ive been having a difficult time is the opposite of that to me#which is the point im trying to arrive at... sorry ik ive probably said similar things repeatedly the last few weeks but i feel like its#crystallising a bit like this is the core reason why im so sensitive and reactive atm and why i got so upset by it#idk. not tonight bc im still very emotionally raw but maybe tomorrow if im calmer i should explain that i was upset + why to her#i avoid doing that so often when im upset bc i dont think theres much point in having a conversation abt it unless u expect some kind of#resolution from it. or if you want an apology but idrc abt being apologised to the crucial thing is what theyre going to do different#and i love her but shes very resistant to changing her behaviour bc of other ppl being upset by it. and like i said before she has
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dutybcrne · 7 months ago
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From a very young age, Kaeya held such a fondness for handholding. Whether it was his father clinging tightly to him to make sure he didn’t get lost, Adelinde’s gentle, grounding hand closed over his to comfort him whenever his nerves got the better of him, Crepus’s rough-palmed, firm yet comforting grip as he brought him back home, or, as it was most often of all, Diluc’s warm, yet at times uncomfortably tight hold as he dragged him anywhere, everywhere, determined to always keep Kaeya close and eagerly show him all there was to see, Kaeya treasured the gesture greatly.
Of course, being as shy as he was, initiating it himself was always the harder part. So much so, he would tend to hold pinkies, rather than outright take a person’s hand in his own. Eventually, it would become his most common way to go about the gesture of affection.
#hc; kaeya#//Handholding is one of his favorite ways of affection bc 1) it’s not too overwhelming when it comes to his touch aversion#//The sensation is all focused in one spot; and even then; it’s more grounding than uncomfortable bc of how firm people’s grasp tends to be#//He really took to holding pinkies bc he realized he could ‘test’ people that way#//If it was a bother to them; they wouldn’t blink twice before moving their hand from his hold. so rejection isn’t as BIG; more subtle#//And if they Liked it; they could either accept it as is or make him happier and take firmer hold of his hand#//Once he was more confident; he would go straight to more outright handholding. Klee ofc got that RIGHT from the getgo. Bc she is smol &#liked him from the start. Even if her Pyro energy did make him uncomfortable at first; but he got used to it. for her#//Luc made it easy to go right to it to—the kid would always seem to know when he wanted to hold hands for whatever reason and grabbed hold#before Kae could link pinkies. kae did like the fact that Luc would Pout the few times Kae did link pinkies instead of hold hands#//Pout; & snatch his hand firmly in his like ‘Why did you do that? THIS way’s better’. Love the image of bby!Kae grabbing bby!Luc’s sleeves#but lbr; they deffo held hands a lot as kiddos. Bc we all know just how (canonically) indulging Luc is with whatever Kae wants. Once Luc#//figured him out; it was a Very common sight; seeing Luc tromping around like the proud lil protector he was; & Kae scurrying after him#//Lil subtle delighted gleams in his eye compared to Luc’s more overt confidence and joy. So common a sight; it was no surprise that#Kae was Deffo distressed when Luc inevitably grew out of it. Adjusted; yeah; but the sudden Change was deffo NOT good for his nerves#//Clung to Addie a lot to make up for it; until he heard the maids tittering abt how childish he was being#//He quit that FAST; finding other ways to stave off his nerves and show his affection#//Sometimes when he’s drunk at Angel’s Share; he gets tempted to hold Luc’s hand—an old habit dredged back up bc he wants comfort#//But any sudden moves Luc makes; whether bc he noticed Kae reaching out or not; utterly scare the urge away every time#//He’s made his peace with Luc resenting him; but it still stings that the ONE person he felt closest to is now practically a Chasm away#//Not like he helps any with that; running away or lashing out every time Luc tries to bridge gaps or shows concern#//Sends him into fight or flight mode every time—who’s to say Kae won’t fuck it up and make a Luc regret trying?#//Might as well sabotage it all himself—at least THEN he knows with utmost certainty it will end failure. Whoops veered off topic#//The closer he is to someone; the more likely he ends up toying with their hands a bit—esp if Interested in them#//Likes playing with their fingers; linking; unlinking and slotting them together; tracing lines on their palms#//Cute shit like that. He likes seeing how they fit together; the differences in size and how they feel#//This was all bc I saw a detail from a show pointed out on the Twitter ndnfn. And thought the pinkie thing was SO cute. Anywho#//Hi. Shit happened irl & I am still not 100%. Not saying what bc it’s not a pleasant topic; but know I am ok#//Just a lil tired. But kinda wanna hcs for rn. I had a lil burst of energy earlier today. that was nice. Over a long dead show; no less#//But it helped lift my mood a bit. I still kinda wish I could drink rn tho. Think it’d help my brain rn
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