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thewritingrowlet · 3 months ago

Text

The Freshman (Remake), ft. tripleS Yoon Seoyeon

tags: first time, creampie

length: 10k

author's note: It's the remix to Ignition The Freshman, hot and fresh out the kitchen, mama rollin' that body got every man in here wishin'

Anyway, I decided to do something different this time; I remade The Freshman because I wasn't entirely satisfied with how that one originally turned out—I was super new and was super terrible at writing (still am, btw). I hope you like this remake! <3

Today is August 12th, the first day of Freshers’ Week at your university. Professor Son, the head of Computer Science department, had asked you personally to be one of the seniors to lead a group of freshmen throughout the Week and continue to offer help and advice whenever they may need it, even after the orientation period has finished. She told you that she was very impressed that you were able to maintain over 3.7 GPA (4.00 was peak—3.7 was “rock-bottom”) in the 2 years you’ve been studying while being active as a basketball player for the university’s team at the same time.

You were hesitant to take her up on the request at first because you had wanted to take this holiday period to relax and gather yourself after such a stressful semester. However, you recalled the way your senior had helped you when you were a freshman yourself; how he motivated and set an example to you and your groupmates. With that in mind, you put your holiday plans to the side, said yes, and went on a training period to become a group leader.

Your watch shows 5:30 am. You just finished the morning briefing with the other group leaders and the rest of the Freshers’ Week committee. In less than an hour, the freshmen will start gathering in the football field and you will start your duties as a group leader for these new faces. You are very nervous as you are not very sociable with new people, but you see this as an opportunity to help you be more comfortable being in the spotlight and present in public—the promised payment is too good to pass up as well.

You and the rest of the group leaders stand in a row while holding a sign with the group name and number written on it. You see the freshmen start lining up in front of their respective leaders, including yourself. Some look like they just woke up, others look excited to start their new life as a university student, as you were back then. Initially, no male or female freshman caught your attention with their looks, until the last freshman joins your group’s line. You quickly peek at the attendance list on your clipboard and find the name of this last person: Yoon Seoyeon, from Chungnam Girls’ High School in Daejeon. “That’s quite the distance”, you think. As you turn your attention away from the attendance list, you see her walking up to you. Just before she gets to you, you manage to pick up some details from her looks: big eyes, small lips, fluffy cheeks—she’s also wearing a bow tie in your favorite color, light blue (or is that Dodger blue?).

Lock it in, she’s holding out her hand to shake yours. “Good morning, sunbaenim. My name is Yoon Seoyeon”, she says. You find yourself staring deep into her eyes for a second before reaching out to shake her hand; you have never felt anything like this before—is this what they call love at first sight? “Good morning to you as well, Seoyeon-ssi”, you greet her warmly, “stand in line, please”. You expect her to stand at the end of the line, but to your surprise, she takes the spot right in front of you, beaming as she does. “In line”, she says cutely, and you can’t help but smile in response.

You hear the sound of someone testing the mic over the speakers, which indicates that this whole thing is moments away from kick-off. “One, two—one, two, three”. You can’t see the speaker, but based on the voice, it must be Doctor Park, the dean of the Faculty of Medicine and the head of the Freshers’ Week committee. “Good morning, everyone!’, her voice is laden with excitement, “welcome to the university, my dear freshmen—how’s everyone today?”. Judging by her chuckles and giggles that you hear over the speakers, the people close to her must be saying nice things to her—which is good; she’s such a brilliant professor and an even greater person, and students love her a lot.

“Group leaders, look at your attendance list for me, please”, she says, “if there’s anyone in your group who has a medical condition, guide them to me and we’ll talk to them”. You do as she says and look at your list, and thankfully, no one has any medical conditions. Unlike your group, however, the group next to you do have someone. “Are we okay, sunbaenim?”, Seoyeon asks. “Yeah, I think we are”. Your gaze meets hers, and she shows you such a precious smile. You expect her to look away in shyness, but she doesn’t; she just keeps looking at you with so much confidence—it’s you who folds first, and it’s because you feel your cheeks getting hot. “Fuck, if only I could find something to talk about”, you think to yourself, desperate for even the smallest of help to save you from the awkwardness.

“Once they’re back, leaders, you’re going to take your group to the classrooms that have been assigned to you—see you around, everyone!”. The doctor leaves the football field and goes about her day, and you hear some people collectively saying goodbye to her. You return your attention back to your group, and you can see that some people have started talking among themselves, which is very nice—oh, look: someone’s tapping Seoyeon’s shoulder from behind. She turns around with a smile and starts talking to the girl behind her. You see them pulling out their phones, probably to get each other’s contacts, and admittedly, you’re glad that things are starting out well for her—not sure why you’re so attentive to her, though.

Your group, 127, shares the same classroom with groups 125, 126, and 128. Each group split themselves in two rows and sit facing each other, and then the group leaders sit wherever they can and blend in with their respective groups. “Good morning, everyone”, you greet your group, “let’s start by having a toilet break—does anyone need to go to the toilet?”. You see 3 girls and 1 guy raise their hands, so you tell them to make a line at the door and wait for other toilet-goers.

You were too busy looking at your papers that you didn’t notice that Seoyeon has scooted over towards you. “Excuse me, sunbaenim”, she says, “I have a feeling that we’ll be seeing each other a lot in the next few days, and I was wondering if we can start speaking more casually”. For a freshman, her confidence is second to none. “Of course, Seoyeon-ah; you can call me oppa—or hyung, if you feel like it”, you feel your cheeks getting hot again, “have you thought about which student organization you want to join?”. “I want to continue my student council career”, she says, “do you think that’s a good idea?”. You have friends in the student council; you can play a little nepotism game and help Seoyeon join it—let’s not reveal it to her just yet though. “I think it is”, you say, “you obviously have the experience and know what it’s like to be in the council”.

Before you know it, the toilet-goers have returned to the classroom. In your head, you expect Seoyeon to move back to her previous position, but she doesn’t; she asks the other person to swap seats with her and stays close to you. Your heart starts getting excited, but you don’t want to get ahead of yourself—it’d be very embarrassing if Seoyeon turns out to not be interested in you, wouldn’t it?

Kim Suhyeon, the leader of group 128, signals to you with her hands and asks you to come to her, so you do. “I think we can start now, oppa”, she says. You nod to her and take the stage in front of the whiteboard with her. “Attention, please”, you say, “first of all, we’d like to extend Doctor Park’s greetings and welcome you to the university”. In the corner of your eyes, you notice that Kim Sungmin and Nam Jungmin—leaders of 125 and 126 respectively—are on their way to join you. “I’m sure you already know what our names are but allow us to introduce ourselves. My name is Oh Hanbin; I’m a year 3 student from the Faculty of Engineering”, you introduce yourself, getting collective nods from everyone present, “I’ll let the others introduce themselves and then we’ll start this whole thing”. The other 3 people take turns introducing themselves to the crowd, starting with Sungmin, Jungmin, and finally, the little princess (because she’s the only sophomore among juniors in your quartet), Suhyeon.

Now that introductions are out of the way, you can proceed to the next step, which is to play a small game. “We’ll give you three minutes to know as many people as you can, and then we want you to group up based on different conditions—the timer starts now”. People start getting on their feet and scramble around the classroom to introduce themselves to each other. You eye the members of your group, and you guess that some of them already have friends in the other groups based on how they start laughing and high-fiving other people. Seoyeon, on the other hand, seems to be stressing out, as she keeps running around the room to quickly introduce herself to people. “How cute”, you think.

“Alright, everyone, time’s up!”, Suhyeon announces, stopping people on their tracks. “Let’s start the game, everyone. On the count of 3, you have 2 minutes to find people whose name starts with the same letter as yours—Juhyeon and Jihoon, Siwoo and Sunwoo, and so on”, she explains the first criteria of the game, and the freshmen start getting antsy, “one, two, three—timer starts now!”. The chaos immediately ensues; those who happen to be far from their group start running around frantically, including Seoyeon, who happens to be standing quite far away from others whose name starts with S. “Remember: no curses, everyone; we are an educated bunch”, Suhyeon reminds the crowd—they’re too busy playing the game, though.

“That’s time, everyone!’, she announces, thus marking the end of the first round, “now let’s see how you did”. She walks to the group that Seoyeon is a part of and starts asking everyone’s name: Sunwoo, Seoyeon, Soobin, Seunghan, Soojin, Seokmin. “Nah, nah, nah—sunbaenim, he’s lying!”, says someone from across the room, “his name is Kang Minseok, and he went to the same high school I did”. Everyone explodes in laughter; someone actually snitched on their friend and caused them to get punished. Suhyeon chuckles and shakes her head in amusement, “you’re not slick, Minseok-ah—to the front, please”.

Suhyeon continues her examination and finds a few more suspects; there’s a girl named Minji, and a guy named Minwoo, but instead of grouping up, they’re standing far apart from each other. “What’s with you M people”, Suhyeon laughs, “alright, join your fellow M on the stage, please”.

As Minji and Minwoo walk to join Minseok in front of the whiteboard, the classroom door swings open, revealing Doctor Park behind it. “Ah, you must be having fun”, the doctor looks around the classroom, “should I come back later?”. You rush to the door to greet the doctor, since everyone is too busy standing idle. “We were having a little game, doctor—please, come in”, you say. “Thank you, Hanbin-ah”, she shows you a kind smile, “I’ll wait until you guys are done with your games”.

Doctor Park greets the three standing in front of the whiteboard and asks why they’re standing there. “They’re getting punished for failing at the game, doctor”, you explain, and she reminds you to not embarrass anyone during Freshers’ Week. “Certainly not, doctor; we won’t ask anything crazy of them”, you assure her.

You stand next to the three suspects and ask them to introduce themselves and share with the class what they want to achieve in university. Minji says that she wants to go on a student exchange program abroad, which, according to the university’s policies, will allow her to skip doing thesis. Minwoo says that he wants to graduate quickly and work at his parents’ company right after, like a typical nepo baby (his words, not yours). Minseok, on the other hand, “uh, I don’t know exactly yet. I do want to graduate quickly, though”. During all of this, the doctor is looking at them kindly with a smile on her face, the same way she did to you when you were a freshman yourself—it’ll be a very sad day when Doctor Park retires from teaching, that’s for sure.

It is 100% true that time flies when you’re busy or having fun, because the clock shows that it’s almost time for lunch break after what felt like an hour—this also means that Doctor Park had been speaking for nearly 4 hours straight before she left a few minutes ago. Anyway, it’s time for another toilet break before lunch—the food delivery guy(s) should be here soon as well.

As luck would have it, moments after the toilet-goers have left with Jungmin and Sungmin, the lunchboxes arrive. “Yo, yo, yo”, Sunwoo, a logistics guy, greets you while holding two big plastic bags full of lunchboxes in each hand, “help us, Hanbin-ah”. You and Suhyeon help Sunwoo and his friend and take the bags from their hands. The bags are tagged with the group’s numbers, and each lunchbox is labeled accordingly for vegetarians and vegans. You don’t have a vegetarian or a vegan in your group, but Suhyeon has a vegetarian and Jungmin has a vegan in their groups, so you know that they’ll appreciate the attention to detail. “Thanks, guys. See you guys later”, you give each of them a fist bump and send them on their way.

This morning, the logistics guys told you that you must put the empty lunchboxes (and other trash) in the bags they came in and throw them out like that, so with that in mind, you fold the bag and shove it in your back pocket for later use. While you wait for the freshmen to come back from the toilet, you pull out your phone and take a second look at the schedule. “A joint session at the library hall after this—okay, cool”.

Before you know it, your freshmen are back, seemingly refreshed after stretching their legs and emptying their tanks. They sit in two rows again, and you start handing out the lunchboxes to them. “Hand this over to the person next to you, okay?”, you start from Seoyeon, who hands it to Jiwon, who then continues the train until the back of the line.

“Wait”, you stop momentarily, “there’s only one left and there’s two of us”. You look at the other groups and see that everyone, including the leaders, have a lunchbox in their hands. Obviously, you don’t want to keep food from Seoyeon, so you give her the last lunchbox. “What about you, oppa?”, she asks, and you tell her that you’ll be fine. “I’ll live—just eat, Seoyeon-ah”. You will live, yes, but this is still a problem. You hop on the committee’s group chat and tell them that your group is one lunchbox short. “We’ll look into it”, someone from the logistics says, and those words are your tasty and tummy-filling lunch.

After the big, joint session at the library hall, it’s now time for the freshmen to go home. The freshmen don’t really get to go anywhere by themselves, even if it’s time for them to go home. Your group lines up behind you (Seoyeon doesn’t take the spot behind you this time) and you wait with them until you’re allowed to start walking out of the building. There’s a traffic management crew whose job is to make sure no congestion happens, especially in the narrower corridors.

“Let’s gather over there before we go home”, you point at an empty gazebo that’s located in next to library building. You give them your number and make a group chat for them, “here, you can join by scanning this QR”. You hand your phone over to Jiwon, who then scans the code and passes your phone over to the next person. You wait until everyone has taken their turn and take your phone back from Sohee. “That’s everyone, right?”. You look at the group info and see that everyone has joined, “right, you guys can go home now”.

You give those who are leaving a fist bump and tell them that you’ll be seeing them again tomorrow. You fail to notice that among your freshmen, Seoyeon is staying behind with you at the gazebo. “You alright?”, you ask. “Yes, I am”, she replies, “so what now?”. You explain to her that you still need to attend today’s evaluation and basketball practice after that, and on the other hand, she’s free to leave. “You play basketball, oppa?”, she asks. Whether it’s a genuine question or not (considering the height difference between the two of you), you answer genuinely and add to the explanation: “I’m the team’s captain, Seoyeon-ah”. She just nods to you with a flat face, and you guess that she’s not that interested in the subject. “I’m leaving then—bye, oppa!”, she waves at you as she walks away, leaving you alone at the gazebo.

As soon as Seoyeon enters her apartment, she gets a call from her high school best friend, Yeonsu. She also happens to be desperate to go to the toilet, though, so she lets the call go unanswered for now. After her toilet break and change of clothes, she’s now ready to call her friend.

“Hello”

“Hi, hello. Were you looking for me?”

“Yeah, I was—where were you?”

“Well, the campus, obviously. Today was the first day of Freshers’ Week” Yeonsu and Seoyeon were supposed to go to the same university but there were factors that caused them to split up. The best friends then start exchanging stories from their first day as university students—these two never spend a day without knowing what the other person is up to.

“My group leader is named Oh Hanbin”, Seoyeon says, but Yeonsu stays silent, thus confusing Seoyeon, “Yeonsu-yah, are you there?”

“Did you say Oh Hanbin?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Fuck, there’s no way”

Seoyeon doesn’t understand why her friend is reacting like this, so she asks Yeonsu to explain, and the answer she gets is “Oh Hanbin is so fucking famous, Seoyeon-ah”.

“He is? How did you know?”

“Fuck, have you been living under a rock? He’s known for a bunch of things”

“Like what?”

“He’s good at basketball and he’s even better in class—he’s also handsome, but that’s personal preferences”

“Are you serious?”

”Do I sound like I’m lying right now?”

No, she doesn’t—if anything, Yeonsu sounds very enthusiastic right now, as if wishing that it was her that got to meet Oh Hanbin.

“Do you have a crush on this guy, Ryu Yeonsu?”

“Oh, please don’t lie to me, Yoon Seoyeon; there’s no denying how attractive he is”

Seoyeon starts cranking the gears in her head, trying to remember what you, Oh Hanbin, was like: tall guy, well-built, good manners, and just a decent person all-around. “Oh, wait—oh my God!”, Seoyeon exclaims as the memory returns to her, “he gave me his lunch, Yeonsu-yah!”. Seoyeon can picture her friend’s jaw dropping in shock. “No, he didn’t—there’s no fucking way!”, Yeonsu’s disbelief is apparent, “why would he give you his lunch?”. Seoyeon explains to her friend that her group was short by one lunchbox and that you gave her the last one in the bag so that she could have lunch.

As the conversation keeps going, Seoyeon realizes that she’s starting to think that you’re attractive to her, and from that point on, her thoughts start running wild: she imagines what it’d be like to be close to you, what it’d be like to sit on the stands during one of your games, and finally, what it’d be like to have her first time with you. “Fuck, am I even ready for that? Would I even be his first? If he’s as famous as Yeonsu says, then he must’ve had many girlfriends”, Seoyeon thinks to herself, ignoring whatever Yeonsu is telling her. She decides that she needs more time to think about this. “Fuck, Yeonsu-yah, I’m sorry but I really need to go—I’ll call you again soon”, she says, and she ends the call right after.

Seoyeon forces her brain to come up with something to find out more about you. “Can I just search his name on Google or something?”. She opens the browser app on her phone and types in your name, “God, please work; tell me something about him”.

The first search result is your professional network page, which you thankfully keep up to date. “Best graduate out of high school, hm?”, Seoyeon sees the first thing listed under your picture. “Oh my God, Yeonsu was right; Dean’s List with 4.00 GPA last semester!”, she exclaims, her big eyes widen even more thanks to the surprise, “and the captain of the basketball team, too—didn’t make it to the finals last year, though”. Seoyeon doesn’t know what to do with this information, but she’s sure that it’ll be useful very soon. “I should ask him about this tomorrow”.

So here you are, back at the field again after the early briefing. Someone from logistics brought up your misfortune from yesterday and personally apologized to you. You were also told that you won’t get a lunchbox again today and tomorrow, since the catering service just can’t be tasked with adding one more lunchbox, apparently. That said, the committee gives you a solution in the form of reimbursement; you can get whatever and spend however much, and then you just need to give them the receipt and they’ll reimburse you. One more thing to point out is that they said that you’ll be tasked with getting to know the freshmen better and building a good relationship with each of them.

Today you opt for a red shirt and black trousers to complement the brown jacket that the university gave out for Freshers’ Week. You hope that Seoyeon approves of this color combination, because as you realize last night after practice, you’re starting to fall for her, and you sincerely hope that she’ll reciprocate the feelings and not push you away (because that’d be disastrous, wouldn’t it?).

You’re standing at the same spot as yesterday, and while you wait for your freshmen, you get into some conversation with Suhyeon and Jungmin. “Did you actually not have lunch yesterday, oppa?”, Suhyeon asks. “I didn’t. I gave the last one to Seoyeon-ie”, you try to not sound too proud of yourself, “I did get burgers before practice yesterday, though”. Suhyeon loves burgers, and the fact that you didn’t ask her to get some with you is making her slightly irritated. “You owe me burgers, oppa”.

Over Suhyeon’s shoulders, you see Seoyeon walking towards you with a smile on her face. You push Suhyeon to the side to greet the smiling cutie. “Good morning, Seoyeon-ah”, you say with a smile, copying her positivity. “Good morning, oppa. How are we feeling today?”, she says. Hearing her say “we” makes your heart rate jump to the moon, but you quickly compose yourself. “I’m doing very well, Seoyeon-ah. I’m very excited, actually; they said that we’ll be getting to know each other much better today”. She promptly looks away to hide her blush and turns her face towards you again after a few moments. “Th-that’s great to hear, oppa”, she says, “I’ll tell you everything about myself, so I hope you will too”.

You quickly scan her outfit from top to bottom: light blue shirt and brown pants. You step closer towards her so that Suhyeon or Jugmin won’t hear what you’re about to say. “Seoyeon-ah, you look good in these colors”, you praise her sense of fashion. “I-I remember seeing you holding a blue clipboard yesterday, and-and I thought maybe I should wear blue today”, she says. You really want to let out a squeal of excitement right now, but it’s very out-of-character that people might think that it’s cringe.

You and your group sit in a circle in the same classroom as yesterday, and Seoyeon sits right across from your position. “Alright, guys”, you start the conversation, “today is all about us; we can talk about whatever we want”. Seoyeon immediately raises her hand. “Oppa, I heard that you’ve made it to the Dean’s List with 4.00 GPA”, she says, “tell us about it, please”. You didn’t expect her to have that information, and despite feeling a little shy at first, you decide to talk about it anyway because good things should always be celebrated. “That’s true; I’ve made it on the Dean’s List a few times”, you start, “look, I’m sure people have their own ideas as to how long they should be studying for in a week, but because I also have basketball on the side, I only study around 10 to 12 hours a week.”

You think that it’s a small number but based on people’s surprised gasp (it sounds genuine, by the way), you guess that people think that it’s a pretty big number. “You didn’t make it to the finals last year, did you, oppa?”, Seoyeon piles on. “We didn’t, yeah”, you sigh, “we choked during the last few minutes of the semifinal game”. As you think about her chain of questions, it becomes obvious that she most likely looked up your name on the internet, because she wouldn’t have known any of this if she hadn’t—it is flattering, just to be clear.

Before it snowballs into a two-person conversation, you turn your attention to other freshmen and see if maybe they have things to talk about. “How many exes do you have, oppa?”, Sohee asks. You shyly confess that you’ve never dated anyone before, and Sohee seems to be disappointed by your answer. “You’re boring, oppa”, she rolls her eyes playfully. “I am boring, Sohee-yah; all I do is sit in front of my computer and play basketball”, you say with a chuckle.

As you turn your head to face the other members of your group, you briefly catch Seoyeon looking at you with a deep gaze, and you wonder what’s up with that. As much as you’re curious, however, you don’t want to make this all about you and her, since you have other people to pay attention to—hey, someone else is raising their hand.

“Yes?”, you point at Jiwon, who has her hand in the air. “Are you on scholarship, oppa?”, she asks. You reply with a nod, so she continues her question, “what kind?”. You explain to her and the rest of your crew that because you had placed first on the entrance test, you were given a scholarship that covers all your tuition if you can maintain over 3.00 GPA over the course of 4 years maximum. “I’m also eligible for an athletic scholarship, but you must keep being an athlete to get it, if that makes sense—if one day I decide to stop playing basketball for the university, that’s gone. So, for me, it’s safer to stick with the first one”, you add.

Jiwon doesn’t seem to be satisfied yet, “are there other scholarships, oppa? You know, something that a regular student like me can get?”. “Well, yes”, you say, “if you get the best grade in your class and department, your tuition for the next semester becomes 0—obviously it’s hard and there are a lot of competitors, but it’s still possible”. Your answer seems to be a satisfactory one; there are a handful of people who seem to get excited about it.

Lunch time is here, and the logistics guys from yesterday make another appearance today. You and co. take the bags from them and quickly distribute the lunchboxes to your respective groups. Seeing that you’re not getting a lunchbox, Seoyeon points at hers while looking at you, indirectly asking you about it. “I’m okay—just eat”, you mouth to her and end it with a smile, and she slowly opens her lunch and starts eating.

“Oppa, where’s your food?”, Sohee asks, catching on to your situation. You tell her what the logistics guys told you this morning, and you can see that Sohee is contemplating giving you her lunch. You notice that Seoyeon is glaring at Sohee from the side, so you quickly decline Sohee’s offer so that Seoyeon can have some peace of mind. “Just eat, Sohee-yah; I’ll be fine”, you say to her.

You ask Jungmin to keep an eye on your freshmen while you leave to get some food from the cafeteria, which is on the ground floor of the adjacent building.

“Oppa!”, Seoyeon follows you outside, “where are you going?”.

“The cafeteria.”

“Why?”

“Well, I’m hungry, and as you can see, I don’t have a lunchbox.”

“Okay, have fun!”

She turns around and walks towards the classroom again, so you continue your way to the cafeteria to get some food for yourself.

You see that Mrs. Jeon’s stall is the only one that’s open, so you quickly head there. “Mrs. Jeon, hello”, you greet her, “can I get one hotdog with mashed potatoes and cheese sauce?”. She asks why you’re getting food at the cafeteria, so you tell the story from this morning one more time, causing her to laugh. “Well, you must be glad that I’m open”, she says. “You have no idea, Mrs. Jeon”, you chuckle, “I’d like to have a bottle of cold water as well, please”.

Mrs. Jeon hands you a hotdog and a bottle of water after around a minute, and along with them, a receipt, which will come in handy later. Before you leave, you eye the fridge in her stall and see some chocolate milk. “One chocolate milk too, please—no need for receipt this time”, you pull out some more cash from your wallet and give it to her. “Thanks, Mrs. Jeon!”, you grab your stuff and rush back to the classroom.

You stop a few meters away from the door of the classroom and pull out your phone to text Seoyeon: “come outside, please”. You see her come out of the classroom, and she immediately finds you. “Yes?”, she asks. You pull out the chocolate milk from your jacket pocket and show it to her. “I have something for you”, you say, “I bought you a small one so that you can finish it quickly”. She covers her red face with one hand as she takes the milk from your hand with the other. “Th-thank you, oppa”. “The-the pleasure is mine, S-Seoyeon-ah—fi-finish it quickly a-and then go back inside, okay?”. You stutter—you’ve never felt something like this before—is this love?

Well, isn’t that the million-dollar question. You don’t have the time or capacity to think about it right now, as you still have plenty of matters to attend to. Maybe the silence of the night can help you focus, though.

You’ve sent your freshmen on their way home almost half an hour ago, so there are only group leaders and committee members on campus right now.

“Let’s start the evaluations, ladies and gents”, Doctor Park is taking the point today, “is there anything you want to tell me first?”. A guy from security raises his hand and tells the crowd that he found someone smoking in one of the toilets on the Faculty of Law building. He then proceeds to provide the doctor with the wrongdoer’s information—he also shows her some pictures he has taken from the scene. “Unfortunate”, the doctor sighs, “next, please”.

No one else raises their hand, so Doctor Park takes her turn to speak. She explains that the Student Organization Expo will be held tomorrow, and the freshmen will be given freedom to run around the expo area and visit as many booths as they want until lunch time. After lunch, they’ll be able to choose what organization they want to join and send an application using a form that the group leaders will provide them with. “We won’t have a morning briefing tomorrow, so your check-in time for tomorrow is moved to 5 am with a 10-minute lateness toleration. Any questions?”, she scans the room and finds no raised hand, “you may go, then. See you tomorrow, everyone”

You don’t have practice today, so the only option you have right now is to go home and rest. You walk towards the campus bus stop to wait for the bus that will take you to the off-campus parking lot. You see a girl in blue sitting on the bench at the bus stop, and you wonder who it is. You slam your heels harder while you walk to make your footsteps louder, announcing your presence so that the girl doesn’t get startled.

The girl turns her head to face you, and you’re shocked to see who it is. “Yoon Seoyeon?”, you furrow your eyebrows in confusion, “what are you doing here?”. “Hi, oppa”, she shows you a cute smile, “I’ve been waiting for you, actually”. You almost can’t believe your ears, “you were waiting for me, sweetie?”. Seoyeon’s big eyes get even bigger when she hears the endearment, and inside, she wonders if it was a slip. “I-I wanted to talk some more with you, s-so I waited for you, oppa”, she looks away to hide her blush, “c-can we talk, oppa?”. “We can, Seoyeon-ah”. You point at the burger shop across the street and ask her to join you for dinner.

You muster up the courage to hold her hand as you get ready to cross the street with her. You wait until this gray car passes before crossing the street half-running with Seoyeon. “Oh, what am I doing”, you stop for a second and take off your jacket, “sorry, you must be cold”. You wrap your jacket around her body to shield her from the cold night air—the way she’s looking away from you makes you wonder if you’ve crossed the line, but at least she hasn’t slapped you for it.

You walk into the restaurant with her, and you see your favorite guy, Jeno, attending the cashier. He waves at you when he sees you walking in, being friendly as ever. “Hey, can I get one Double OG with no tomato and some nacho fries?”. You feel Seoyeon snaking her arm around yours, and you’re reminded that you’re not alone. “What do you want to eat, Seoyeon-ah?”, you ask. “I-I don’t know, but I’d like to have a burger and some fries too, oppa—if it’s okay with you, that is”, she shyly replies. “Of course it’s okay”, you scan the menu board and choose something for her, “uh, can I also have a Black Montana and some fries with marinara sauce?”. Jeno recaps your orders, and after confirming it, he hands you two large cups for the drinks.

After filling the cups with your preferred drinks—cold water for you, and diet coke for Seoyeon—you walk with her to find a table. “You want to sit there?”, you point at an empty table next to the big window. She agrees to your suggestion, so you walk towards that table together. You pull a seat for her before sitting down yourself, earning a soft “thank you” from her. You sit across from her and set your backpack on the empty chair next to you. “So, what did you want to talk about?”, you try to start the conversation. Instead of answering you, Seoyeon stays silent and looks down at the table. You don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable, so you opt to keep it for later—maybe food will help her open up.

Food comes out of the kitchen and arrives at your table after around 10 minutes, which you spent by sitting in silence. You give Seoyeon her food and without cue, she immediately takes a piece of fry, dips it in marinara, and puts it in her mouth. She then chases it with a bite of her burger. You sit still and look at the way her plump cheeks move as she chews her food—someone can get full just by looking at Seoyeon eat. “Wh-what are you looking at, oppa?”, she covers her mouth with one hand, “p-please don’t look at me like that”. With a smile, you turn your attention to your food and start eating with her. You unwrap your burger, make sure there is no tomato in it, and take a bite. “Mm!”, you exclaim, “that’s really good”. You see that Seoyeon has started eating again. “You like it?”, you ask. Since her mouth is full, she replies to you with excited nods and a small smile.

Seoyeon has now finished her burger, and her fries are almost done. “Seoyeon-ah, I will ask again: what was it you wanted to talk about?”, you ask. She knows that she has nowhere else to run now. “I-I like you, oppa”, she drops a bomb while looking straight into your eyes, “there—that’s what I wanted to talk about”. Your jaw drops in shock, making you unable to say anything back momentarily. “I’m sorry, but can you say that again?”, you hope that she won’t say something else. “I said I like you, oppa”, she repeats, and you’re glad that she said the same thing. “D-do you feel the same, b-by any chance?”, she maintains eye contact with you despite the red cheeks. Yes, yes, you do, but for some reason, you find it very difficult to say it—until you see tears pooling in her eyes. “Seo-Seoyeon-ah—y-yes, I do like you”, you confess, “I like you a lot”. Satisfied with your answer, Seoyeon gets up from her seat, sits on the chair next to you (after putting your backpack on the floor), and hugs you from the side.

It feels like a massive weight has been lifted off your chest, and you feel like you’re able to breathe far more freely now. You wrap your arms around her body as best you can and close your eyes to bask in the moment. Soon, however, you’re startled by her subtle sobs. “Hey, hey, you okay, sweetie?”, you start panicking a little, “I’m sorry, did I do something wrong?”. “I was so scared that you would push me away—you’d never push me away, would you?”, she asks, her voice trembling from the emotions. Judging by how Seoyeon is sobbing in your arms, thus showing her vulnerability in front of you, assures you that she’s being very honest and sincere. You peck her head a few times, hoping that she knows how sincere you are, “please don’t cry, sweetie; I’m here for you”. “You are”, she replies, “you are here for me”.

You run your hand gently on her back as you try to calm her down. It seems to be helpful; Seoyeon stops sobbing after a few minutes—she’s about to drop another bomb, though. “Oppa”, she pokes your thigh to get your attention, “can we go to your place?”. You silently praise your parents for planting in you the habit of cleanliness, which means that your apartment is almost always presentable should you have guests. “We can, sweetie—let’s go now, okay?”. You exchange some pleasantries with Jeno while you’re standing at the cashier. He even asks Seoyeon if she liked it, to which she responds with excitement. “Alright, thank you, man—see you next time”, you wave at him as you walk out of the restaurant with Seoyeon, your new… erm… girlfriend? Are we on girlfriend-boyfriend stage now? That’s a question for later.

After a quick drive, you find yourself and Seoyeon standing in the parking lot. “Sweetie, can I carry you? I’ve always wanted to try carrying a girl”, you ask, your cheeks getting hot. “S-sure, oppa”. She opens her arms, thinking that you’ll carry her from the front while in actuality, you want to carry her bridal-style. “Oh my God, oppa!”, she exclaims while hiding her red cheeks behind her palms. You carry the 50-something kilogram bundle of joy and walk towards your apartment. On the way, you feel her loosening up and enjoying the ride, and you swear that you can hear purrs coming from her. You hope that no neighbor sees you like this, because you imagine that it’d be quite awkward—not that you’re concerned about what they think, but still.

You punch in the passcode to your apartment without putting Seoyeon down, and here you are, in your haven. “We’re here, sweetie”, you say to her as you walk towards the sofa with her still in your arms. You carefully put her down onto the sofa and extend it so that she can lie comfortably on it. “Would you like some water, sweetie?”, you ask, and she replies with a nod. You walk towards the water dispenser and fill a cup with water and go back to her. You help her straighten her posture before handing her the cup. You’re confused when you see that instead of drinking out of the cup, she holds it with both hands and just silently looks at it.

“You okay?”

“I like you, oppa”

“Yes, sweetie; I like you too”

“What made you like me, oppa?”

You take a deep breath as you try to form an answer.

“I just feel so drawn to you; you’re just so charming, elegant, friendly, and—“, you realize that these words sound ridiculous coming from you, and your brain halts you by making your cheeks turn red. “Anything else, oppa?”, she challenges you, letting out a giggle after.

You hover over her body—making her bite her lip nervously—and come in for a kiss, eager to show her that you love her. You pull away from the kiss after a few seconds and look at her in the eyes. “I love you, Yoon Seoyeon—I love you with my entire being”, you say, feeling emotional, “will you be mine, baby?”. Seoyeon puts a palm on your cheek and rubs it gently. “Yes, oppa; I’m yours and you’re mine”, she returns your words with a loving smile on her face.

You lie down next to her and pull her into your arms, transferring the warmth of your bodies back and forth between the two of you. “Baby”, you get her attention, “is there anything you want to do?”. She moves to sit on your lap and leans forward, her face hovering closely over yours, “I want to have our first time”. That’s one more big bomb she dropped on your head, and you seem to be unable to speak. “You said you’ve never dated anyone before, so you must be a virgin. I’ll give you my first time and take yours in return”, she adds, “you weren’t lying about it, were you?”. You shake your head in response, still speechless. “Great”, she says, “let’s do it, oppa—please”. “Are you sure? I don’t want you to regret it after”, you try to gauge how serious she is. She leans forward even further until her nose touches hers. “I want it, oppa”, her voice sounds very sexy right now, “make me yours, and I’ll make you mine—we will stay together forever, oppa”.

You knew from the first day that she’s a very confident person, but you never expected that she’d be this confident about having her first time with you, someone who she met just yesterday. “It’d be a huge honor for me, baby, but I’m asking one more time: are you sure?”, you ask, despite your paper-thin patience and rock-hard penis. “I am very sure”, she doesn’t waver, “c’mon, oppa; let’s do it”. Even if you were single and have never dated anyone before, you know that you shouldn’t do something to a girl without her consent, and this is as clear of a consent as it gets, so there’s no reason for you to hesitate now. “Let’s move to the bedroom first, baby”.

You gently lower her onto the bed, smiling the whole time so that Seoyeon feels comfortable with you. After she’s lying comfortably in bed, however, her eyes start wandering away from yours, probably because she’s nervous. “Baby”, you hold her chin gently and turn her face towards you, “I love you—I love you lots”. Your words seem to be just what she wants to hear right now. “I love you too, oppa”, she reaches for your hands and pulls you towards her, “thank you for everything so far”. You’re not sure if you’ve done anything to warrant such an expression of gratitude, but you’ll take it and send it back to her. “I know that we just met, but I have a feeling—certain, even—that I’ll have plenty of reasons to be thankful for you, baby”, you make sure that you sound sincere because you are indeed sincere. “I think I’ve chosen well”, she says, “you’re as sweet as I hoped”.

Warmth. Warmth is the theme tonight. Warmth is what you’re feeling right now. Warmth is what this relationship will have plenty of. Speaking of warmth, being in a girl’s arms is very warm—you never knew that before. You rub your cheek against hers like a cat, the friction creating more warmth for the two of you. “Oppa”, she chuckles, finding it funny, “what are you doing? Are you a cat?”. “No, but I think I understand why cats do this”, you let out a chuckle as well, “I love you, baby”. You don’t know how many times you’ve said it, but it’s not something that hurts or tires Seoyeon, so you’d like to think that it’s fine to spam her with it.

“Show me, then”, she challenges you, “show me your love, oppa”. “Of course, baby; as you wish”, you accept her challenge. You jump off the bed and start undressing, showing Seoyeon the curves of your muscles. “My God”, she exclaims, “are you sure you’re playing the right sports, oppa?”. “I mean, basketball can get pretty physical, and for that, you need muscles”, you say, proud of your physique. She follows you off the bed and stands closely in front of you. “Fuck, I wonder what Yeonsu would think if she saw us like this”, she utters while her hands roam on your body. “Yeonsu? Who is that?”, you’re unfamiliar with the name. “My friend from high school”, she says, her eyes still locked on your torso, “she told me about you”. You’re perplexed, “how did she know about me?”. “No idea; she just said that you’re pretty famous”, she says. “I’m famous? Really?”, you think.

Seoyeon asks for your attention by tapping you in the chest. She then offers you the chance to undress her, which you’re delighted to do so. She puts her arms on either side of her body and closes her eyes as you start unbuttoning her blouse. You notice that her breathing gets faster, a clear sign that she’s very nervous. You stop what you’re doing and place your hands on her waist, hoping that doing so will make her feel more comfortable and familiar to your touch. You say nothing as you wait for her to calm down, and it doesn’t take long. “Continue, oppa”, she says, “I-I’m sorry”. You assure her that there’s nothing to be sorry for; it’s totally normal to be nervous when doing something for the first time.

After all her buttons are undone, you free her arms from the sleeves and let her blouse fall onto the floor. As a reflex, Seoyeon covers her bra-covered tits with her hands, blushing as she does. Again, you wait in silence until she tells you what she wants you to do next. “I’m sorry—oh, God, I’m so sorry”, she shakes her head to regain focus, “y-you can take off my pants, oppa”. “Please, there’s nothing to be sorry for, baby—I understand that you’re nervous”, you put on a calm smile to support your statement. Seoyeon slowly removes her hands from her chest and unbuttons her pants for you, she then asks you to finish the job.

Well, there she is: standing shyly in front of you with little covering her body. She’s using one hand to cover her breasts while the other is covering her crotch. She can feel herself drowning in a sea of thoughts, nervous about all kinds of things. “What will happen after tonight? What if he leaves me after taking my first time? What if—“, her restless mind stops when she hears your calm voice. “Baby, listen, please”, you throw her a lifebuoy, “I understand that you’re nervous about all of this—I do, seriously—we don’t have to do this now if you don’t feel like it”.

“Can I ask something first, oppa?”

“Of course, baby”

“W-what do you think will happen tomorrow?"

“Tomorrow? Well, the Student Organization Expo will happen tomorrow”, you crack a little joke. Seoyeon’s stressed face loosens up after hearing your joke, seemingly more comfortable with the situation. “Aaaah, I’m serious, oppaaaa”, she whines.

You get on one knee in front of her and place a hand on her knee. “What will happen tomorrow, baby, is that I will start loving you, and you will start loving me”, you start, your tone calm but serious, “after that, we will spend a lot of time with each other. We will laugh sometimes and cry some other times, but that’s fine; we’ll face everything together”.

“Together, oppa?”

“Together, baby. You and me against the world—well, not exactly; the world doesn’t hate us, does it?”

She seems to be satisfied with your answer, proven by how she moves her hands off her body and places them on your nape. “Together, oppa”, she says, “we will stay together for a long, long time”. “Yes, we will, baby”. You stand up and pull her into a kiss, one that screams out “I love you”.

You were so deep into the kiss that you failed to notice that Seoyeon had tumbled backwards, thus pulling you back into the bed with her. She breaks the kiss and whispers to you that she’s ready. She guides your hands towards the waistband of her panties, “make me yours, oppa”. You nod without saying a word and start pulling her panties down her legs and past her ankles. “Respectfully, baby, I think you’re sexy”, you don’t bother stifling your tongue anymore. “Th-thank you, oppa—I-I think you look good too”, she returns the praise to you, and truthfully, it makes you feel really good about yourself.

While you take off your boxers, Seoyeon takes off her bra, and now, you’re both completely naked, showing everything to each other. It is when you hover over her that she hesitates again. “I’m scared, oppa”, her voice shakes, “y-you will hurt me, won’t you?”. “I’ll be gentle, baby—I promise”, you try to comfort her.

You spread her legs wide enough for you to be in the middle of, ready to take her innocence and give her yours in return. She wraps her legs around your torso and locks her ankles together in response. You use one hand to guide your cock towards her entrance, and despite the lack of experience, you manage to find it somewhat easily. “Baby, I’m going to start”, you announce, “if you want to change your mind, this is your chance”. “No, I want it—give it to me, oppa”.

You move your hips forwards and Seoyeon instantly gasps at the first contact. “Gently, gently”, she reminds you. “Of course, baby”. You wrap your arms around her body and hold her close to you as your cock tries to enter her pussy. You hear Seoyeon’s breathing get faster again, so you whisper to her in a calm voice that everything will be okay. You keep going forwards until you feel the tip of your cock breaching through her barrier; you’ve taken her innocence and made her yours.

You want to savor the foreign sensation, but Seoyeon starts sobbing and grunting in pain. “It hurts, oppa”, she whimpers, “please, be gentle with me—please, please—AHHH!”. You think that if you move again, you will hurt her even more, so you stop for now. “I’m not moving, baby—let’s calm down for now, okay?”, you say to her. She keeps whimpering and grunting in your ears, tugging at the strings of your heart. “I’m so sorry, baby”, you start feeling emotional yourself, “do you want to stop?”. “J-just give me a moment, oppa”, says the girl in discomfort.

You’ve been in this position for a few minutes, waiting patiently for Seoyeon to get used to the foreign object in her body. “Oppa”, she says weakly, “I-I think you can go again”. “Sure, baby”, you say. You slowly retreat from her pussy before going forwards again, earning a combination of moans and grunts from her. You ask if she’s still in pain, and she tells you that it’s not too bad. “You’re doing so well, baby”, you praise her, “I love you so, so much”. “I love—oh, God, so deep”, the way your cock hits the deepest spots surprises her, “please, gently, oppa”. You’ve been as gentle as you can be so far, but no matter how slow it feels, you hold on to your patience.

As you slowly move back and forth in her pussy, you notice that the grunts are getting replaced with moans, which means that it’s now enjoyable for her. “Feeling better, baby?”, you ask to make sure. “Yes-yes—oh, God, yes”, she replies, “how are you so big, oppa?”. “I don’t know, baby; just genes, probably”, you chuckle to lighten the mood, “do you think I can go faster?”. “Just-just nothing too rough, please”, she begs. You assure her that you will be mindful with your pace and start thrusting into her faster than earlier.

The moans that she’s sending right into your ears are very arousing, and you subconsciously start fucking her faster, as you’re eager to hear more of it. “So good, oppa—fuck, you’re so good”, she praises you. You’re glad to hear that she’s no longer in pain and has gotten used to you. “You’re also so good, baby; you’re so fucking tight for me”, you send the praises back to her.

You place her wrists on the bed and press down on them with your hands, assuming a very dominant position. “You’re so good, baby”, you manage to send one more praise her way despite the heavy breaths, “I love you so much”. “Ah, ah, ah—I l-love you too, oppa”, she replies, “kiss me, please—ngh, fuck”. You plant your lips on hers and pick up the pace of your thrusts, eager to get your first ever orgasm in your life.

You chant profanities as you try to maintain the tempo, Seoyeon’s tightness proving to be challenging for you. “Oppa, wait”, she halts you, “I-I want to pee—w-why do I want to pee, oppa?”. Truthfully, you have no idea; you’re as inexperienced as she is. “You’ll be fine, baby”, you try to dismiss her, and she takes your word for it. “I’m peeing, I’m peeing!”, she plants her hands on your chest and tries to push you away from her but she’s simply too weak. You pull out from her pussy and see that her juice is gushing out of her bloodstained pussy—not only that, her legs and thighs are shaking. Seoyeon screams and squirms around in bed; “this must be her orgasm”, you think as you observe her.

“Oppa! Oppa!”, she reaches her arms out, desperate to touch your body, “please, please, hold me”. You hold her tightly in your arms and you can hear the soft, angelic moans that escape her lips, arousing you even further. You whisper “I love you” in her ears repeatedly as you wait for her to come back to her senses. “I love you too, oppa”, she returns your words to you, “what was that, though?”.

“I think that was your orgasm, baby”

“Orgasm, oppa? Really?”

“I think so, yeah”

“And it was because of you?”

“Yes, I’d like to think so”

“That was amazing, oppa”

“I’m glad that it was, baby”

Her breathing returns to its normal pace after a few minutes of hugging, and she tells you that she’s ready to go again. “Give me your orgasm, oppa”, she demands, “I know how it works for men, so I want you to send it deep inside me”. “Sure, but we’ll take the morning after pill after that, alright?”, you remind her. “Sure”, she says, “I don’t want to get pregnant yet”.

Without cleaning the bloodstain on your shaft, you plunge back into her pussy. “Oh, yes, oppa”, she moans, “yes, yes, I’m yours”. Your lips crash into hers as you fuck her at a good tempo, looking for the first orgasm of your life. “Fuck, I don’t think I can last too long”. “That’s okay, oppa—ohh, yes, it’s okay”, Seoyeon struggles to speak, “gi-give me everything you have”. “Y-you got it—oh, fuck”. You plant your hands firmly into the bed and fuck her as fast you can, and before long, you feel your cock throbbing (or is it her that’s throbbing). “I think—“, your words are cut off when your cock blows a load deep inside Seoyeon, earning a long moan from her.

The vibrations from your smartwatch cause you to stir awake—it must be 4 am now. You lift your wrist and see that it is indeed 4 am, the time you’ve been waking up at for the past few days of Freshers’ Week. As you try to lift your body off the bed, you feel something weighing down on the left side of your body. “Oh, right, Seoyeon-ie”. That’s right; that’s Yoon Seoyeon, your new girlfriend who you had your first time with a few hours ago.

“Love, wake up, please”, you poke her cheeks repeatedly to get her to wake up. “What?”, she mumbles, half awake. “Babe, I’ll take you home so you can shower and get ready for today, okay?”. “Yeah, sure”, she says. You open the water bottle that Seoyeon drank from earlier and coat your thumb with some water. You then run your thumb gently on her eyes, “this is how I wake up sometimes, baby”. “Mm, sure”, she says.

After getting dressed, you carry her to your car and start driving away. First, you make a stop at a pharmacy and buy some morning after pills and condoms for future use. “Babe, take this, please”, you hand her a pill and a bottle of water to take it with. Seoyeon weakly reaches for the pill, puts it in her mouth, and chases it with some water. “Done”, she says. You pet her head gently, “good girl, baby—alright, let’s get you home, okay?”

Well, here you are again, in the football field for the third day of Freshers’ Week. Your eyelids feel very heavy, and you’re very tempted to just let them close. You were drifting to sleep when you heard a girl’s voice calling to you. “Good morning, oppa”, Seoyeon greets you excitedly, “how are you today?”. “I’m—“, a yawn cuts you off, “I’m feeling great, lo—erm, Seoyeon-ah. How about you?”. “I’m a bit tired, but I had a great time yesterday”, she smirks. “Did you?”, you chuckle, “well, that’s great to hear, Seoyeon-ah”. She gets on her tippy toes, and you lean forwards a bit to hear her whispers. “I love you, oppa”, she whispers, “thank you for last night”. “I love you too, baby”, you whisper back, “I’ll see you at home after this, okay?”. You glance to your left and right to see if Suhyeon and Jungmin heard you, but they were too busy looking at their phones. When you look at Seoyeon again, she winks and smiles at you, so you wink and smile at her in return. “I love you, baby”, you mouth to her, causing her to look away to hide her blush.

#girl group smut #kpop smut #triples smut #kpop fanfic #kpop fanfiction #male reader #male reader smut #smut

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jealousmartini · 3 months ago

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💌 She's an overachiever. "Pressure"? What pressure? ⋆₊˚⊹🔖

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My second year of college is coming in hot guys. And I'm talking the 3rd of September, in TWO WEEKS TIME HOT.

But you already know your girl has BEEN locked in with her subliminals for the next term, cus I've had a whole thing going on since my first term to my second yk. so come a little closer so I can show yall what my game is on

p.s.a!! I am an animation and games art student, so most to all of my work is research and art based. And when I say most of my work is research based, I mean there is an ungodly amount of writing that is expected from the students and it's not even just the amount it's WHAT you write about that gets you the grade and how well your art conveys your ideas.

Also "Ex." = Example

╰┈➤ " My average college day experience as an art student/loass babe " click here!

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"What? Like it's hard?" At the top of her class, always ontop of her work, never slacking off, always locking in.

── .✦ ┆ 𖤐 ┆ ␥

|| Perfect focus, super attentive, always pays attention and makes notes. I am never afraid to ask for help or advice and I always receive the answers I need to understand the work; no room for confusion here.

|| Very strong, clear memory, perfect photographic memory.

|| Studies so much, it's my hobby, never underestimates myself or downplays my work, has always prioritised my work and has always understood the importance of doing work at home. Studying has never been a struggle for me because I don't struggle with discipline. I actually find so much fun and enjoyment doing homework. I always feel so productive and proud of myself whilst managing my time and looking at the amount I have done afterwards. Especially with the amount of validation and points I earn from teachers. It is always so satisfying seeing my high grades after a complete project. It's like a treat.

|| Creative genius, always brainstorms with words or loose sketches; not a single idea goes to waste. Research enthusiast, I could never shy away from making a thorough, detailed, and well planned out analysis, moodboard or mindmap. And multiple of them at that. I always know EXACTLY what to write and never wastes precious time and space yapping.

|| The life of an art student is exciting, fulfilling, flourishing, inspiring and strict. In the healthy way of course. My parents and teachers are always understanding of my burnouts and art block which are very rare thank god; and it's a good thing I have my closest friends to comfort me through my work. They are always so supportive, encouraging and honest with me as I am with them. We always travel together to the college (when I don't feel like being alone) and we always travel back home together. I mean we are our own personal friend circle so of course we buy snacks for each other and meet up for lunch; it's not even like we need to worry about price since we have more than enough on us. College is 100 times better when my best friends are with me, everything feels so comfortable with them

|| Perfect, cunty, and ideal artstyles. Always chooses the ones most appropriate for a certain design, and never forgets how to convey a certain look. I know, understand and draw human, animal, vehicle, clothing anatomy and terminology, enviromental composition, colour theory and terminology, the 12 principles of animation, the 7 fundamentals of art (Line, pattern, colour, texture, tone, shape and form), and the fundamentals of character design like the back of my hand

|| I know how to layout a design page appropriately, I always know how to theme and colour co-ordinate. Written placement and art placement are always perfect to the T and nothing looks off. All together, I show off my own unique style of work and impress my teachers of classmates

Ex. Subliminals in my art student playlist

"Over achiever", "Desired art skills", "Desired (college) life"

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"Ugh she is always doing the most with her work😒-" And she always looks good doing it. She's got the looks and the discipline; she's got it all

── .✦ ┆ 𖤐 ┆ ␥

|| Gorgeous, curly, and ideal (3B to 3C) hair. My hair never gets greasy, dry, breakage, damage, frizz, dandruff, or split ends. My curls are always moisturised, soft, bouncy, and defined. I never experience a bad hair day, and my hair is super easy to manage. Detangling my hair is a breeze, and styling my hair is even easier; every style looks exactly the way I want it and never loses the volume or shape throughout the day.

|| Ideal, fit, slim thick pear. Short shoulders, small ribcage, medium-sized chest, 20 inch waist, wide hips and slight dip, long legs, fat ass but not too fat, chubby but fit thighs, slimmer defined calves and small feet. The perfect pear. And every outfit looks exactly the way I want; I never look awkward but I always look put together and stylish.

|| Craziest face card. Ms. Face economy infact. I have a round heart shaped face with dark brown bambi eyes and long fluttery lashes, a medium straight nose bridge, plump pink "keyhole" lips, and the clearest, softest brown skin ever... Yet I still put make up on- yes I do because it's fun and I like it, so it's always awesome knowing I can do my make up flawlessly and nail my looks perfectly

Ex. Subliminals in my ideal appearance playlist

"3C hair type", "Pear body", "Desired face", "brown caramel skin"

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I'll probably add smore later :3 k bye

#martini yaps!#shiftblr #loa blog #loablr #desired reality #master manifestor #law of assumption #4d reality #desired self #desired appearance #desired life #desired body #dream life #shifters #shifting #loa

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weareapackofstrays · 8 months ago

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Come Light Me Up // Ji Changmin

Genre: Non-Idol college au, classmates to lovers?

Pairing: Changmin (Q) x F!Reader

Warnings: Smut, Cursing, Masturbation. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

Word Count: 3,305

A/n: Loosely inspired by a dream I had last night. Wrote this one quickly so there will probably be some mistakes. Graphics by @saradika-graphics!

It was the start of a new semester. While the first day of classes made some students nervous, you looked forward to it. Everything smelled like fresh books, paper, and ink. There were only two more semesters left until graduation and you couldn’t contain your excitement. A few of your classes this semester were completely online, which was convenient for you since you had to take on a few extra shifts to pay for this year's books and labs.

After clicking the zoom link to start your first class of the day, you scan over the 20 or so faces blinking back at you for anyone familiar. While you recognize a few students from previous classes, one unfamiliar face grabs your attention most. Your eyes fall on a man who you had not seen before. He is dressed in a simple black t-shirt and grey sweats. You notice he is sitting on his bed as if he just woke up and his ruffled dark hair definitely looks suspiciously like bedhead. He was too casual and it irked you. While you weren’t a perfectionist, you still felt like how you presented yourself on the first day of class set a precedent for the rest of the semester. You force your attention away from him to focus on your Professor’s greetings.

As class progressed you kept catching yourself staring at the student who you learned was named Changmin. He seemed so uninterested in class and it looked like something was distracting him off camera. It annoyed you and you weren’t sure why. Did you find him attractive? Of course. Changmin was very good looking, but he gave off douchey vibes so you did your best to pay him no mind. A task that would prove difficult.

The days pass by and you still find yourself totally bothered by this guy. Your eyes kept finding Changmin on the screen every time you attended class. And to make things worse, even though he never seemed like he was listening to the lecture, he still got every answer correct when the professor asked. It was starting to piss you off. I’m sure if anyone was watching you they could visibly see your annoyance and unbeknownst to you, someone was watching. Sometimes you would catch Changmin’s eyes staring right into the camera and you could swear they were looking back at you. But there was no way…right?

If there was anything he was paying attention to, it was you. Changmin noticed you on the first day of class too and every time you popped up on the screen he would look you over. He found it amusing the way you would be dressed up, make up done, even for a Zoom class. Like today for example, your hair was in a half updo, clipped back with a large pink bow. You were wearing what he assumed was either a blouse or dress with puffy white sleeves that only annoyingly teased your cleavage. He couldn’t tell if you had lipstick on, but your lips looked particularly glossy…and delicious. Changmin could tell you were the type to be a teacher’s pet and the idea of corrupting you started to quickly creep into his mind. He watched every facial expression of yours, noticing how excited you would get when you knew the answer to something and the way you’d grow agitated every time he beat you to the answer. Your perfect facade faltering before him. He especially loved the way your lips would pout when you were trying to concentrate. It drove him crazy. He could no longer hold back so he decided to take a chance.

During the third week of class, your Professor announced that there would be a test coming up this Friday. You tried to remain calm, but the thought of a test so soon gave you anxiety. A ding from your zoom chat pops up interrupting your thoughts. It’s a private message from a classmate. You squint at your screen to see who the message is from. Surely, you must be misreading. It was from Changmin?!

Changmin: hey, wanna study together?

You have not actually interacted with Changmin before, in fact, you're not even sure you have ever exchanged words. The extent of your interactions was usually him saying something that bothered you and you rolling your eyes at him several times throughout the class. You continue to stare at his message. Hesitating for a few more moments, you finally start to type. Changmin watches you intently, anticipating your reply.

Y/n: Why do you want to study with me?

Changmin smiles while reading your message.

Changmin: because we’re probably the only two in this class who actually give a shit

You snort, forgetting your audio is on and quickly rush to mute yourself. Changmin watches your cheeks turn pink with embarrassment and laughs. Even though the conversation is private, you still look around at the other classmates nervously wondering if they know what’s going on.

Changmin: you’re cute

You bite your lip to hold back a smile not wanting to give him the satisfaction. Changmin watches you roll your eyes at him, as you usually do, and it ignites his hunger further.

Y/n: Fine. Changmin: i’ll zoom you tomorrow night? Y/n: Sure, 8pm tomorrow then. Just ping me. Changmin: 8 is kind of late, no?

You glare at him briefly before responding.

Y/n: I get off work at 7:00 so I will need some time to get back and change. Changmin: sounds good. I’ll call you at 8pm sharp. Can’t wait!

Ignoring his last message, you turn your attention back to the Professor. Changmin can’t erase the grin on his face for the rest of class.

The next day you rush home after work to hop in the shower. Butterflies start to dance in your belly, but you do your best to shoo them away. You consider dressing up like you usually do for class, but worry Changmin will think you’re trying too hard. Ugh, why do you care what Changmin thinks, Y/n? You settle on a t-shirt and shorts with some cozy socks. Looking at the clock on your laptop, you start to feel the nerves as the time approaches 8pm. You continue to look at the clock and your watch every few seconds until finally the Zoom call notification pops up on your desktop. Shooting up from your chair, you quickly take a look in the mirror one last time to check your appearance before answering.

“Changmin.” You say simply, lacking any emotion.

“Y/n,” he responds with a hint of amusement.

You grab your textbook and open it. “I figured we could start from the beginning to refresh our memory first before diving into the most recent lectures.”

Changmin smiles, placing a pair of black rimmed glasses on. He looks good and he knows it. “Whatever you say.” He reaches for his book as well and opens it to the first chapter. “I’m all yours.” You grimace and give him a pointed look. He laughs and you watch the way his Adam's apple bobs on his long neck. He crosses his arms in front of him and your attention shifts to the curve of his biceps. Changmin is wearing a white t-shirt and what look to be his usual grey sweats. He notices your attention and tilts his head curiously. “Are we going to get started?” Your eyes dart up to meet his realizing you’ve been caught looking at him. You clear your throat and thumb through a few pages.

Changmin actually turns out to be a decent study partner and you're shocked at how thorough his notes are. After about 20 minutes into your study session, Changmin decides he’s bored and wants to change the subject.

“Why do you get dressed up for every class?” You look up from your note taking and cock an eyebrow at him.

“I could ask you the same.”

“But I don't.”

“Exactly.” You throw him a sarcastic smile. He smirks in response.

“So…?” He’s waiting for your answer. You sigh and place your pen down.

“Because I can.”

He nods. “Fair enough.”

“Why do you care?” you ask, resuming your writing.

Changmin places his thumb and index finger on his chin to ponder. When he doesn't immediately reply you look back up at him. “I suppose I just find it interesting when the rest of the class are practically in pajamas or off camera. Are you trying to impress someone?”

“Maybe I just like looking my best.”

“But right now you look pretty casual.”

You look down at your attire and internally curse. Maybe you should have dressed up. As if reading your thoughts, Changmin quickly adds, “Not that you don’t look good. I like the way you look tonight too.”

You’re not sure how to reply to his flirtation attempt so you try to get back on task.

“I think the Professor is definitely going to have chapter 3 on the exam. He dedicated two of our lectures to it so I think we should review our mutual notes.”

Changmin pushes back on his chair, balancing on the back legs. He places his hands behind his head. “Mhmm,” he simply hums in agreement. You look up from your book and notice Changmin’s shirt has ridden up, exposing his midriff. His stomach is taut and toned. You try to continue your thought, but end up stuttering over your words. He reaches down and rubs his abs and that’s when you notice the veins leading down his stomach disappearing into his briefs. Changmin’s legs are slightly parted, giving you a full view of his lean body.

“Um,” You try to compose yourself, but struggle. “We..um..page 46…” Words fail as you start to imagine where those thick veins lead to.

“What was that, Y/n? Didn’t quite catch what you said.” You look at him and frown. He’s teasing you and you know it.

“What are you doing?” You ask, impatience in your tone.

“I see the way you watch me in class, Y/n.” Pleasure shoots down your spine and you shiver.

Attempting to feign ignorance, you turn away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes, you do. I watch you too. Every time I see you roll your eyes at me I think about stuffing my cock down your throat to teach you a lesson.” You drop the pen in your hand.

“Wh-what did you just say?”

Changmin leans into the camera. His eyes shift down to stare at your mouth. “I think about the way those pretty lips would feel wrapped around my dick.” He closes his eyes briefly and moans as if imagining it right now. “Drives me wild. I look forward to seeing you every class. Thinking about ways I can piss you off.”

“Changmin…you shouldn’t say these things,” you squeak.

“I’ll stop if you really want me to.” He leans back in his chair again and crosses his arms. The veins on his toned forearms poke out and you gulp at the thought of them around you, his hands gripping your neck. You shake your head to rid yourself of these thoughts. Changmin smirks and meets your eyes. “Do you want me to stop?” He palms his groin and you realize he’s hard.

“Fuck,” you say to yourself. Changmin places a hand around the outline of his dick and starts to stroke himself. You bite your lip as you watch him, feeling yourself growing wetter with each stroke. His eyes are on you as he slowly rubs up and down. A low groan escapes his throat.

“No,” you finally say.

“No what?” His voice is hoarse.

“No, don’t stop.”

Changmin pushes his sweats down slightly to give you a better view of his hard dick and for better access.

“Like what you see?” You nod enthusiastically and he chuckles.

“Does baby wanna see my cock?” You nod again.

“Use your words, Y/n,” he says sternly.

“Yes,” you whisper.

“I can’t hear you, baby.”

“Yes, I wanna see it.” Your voice is more confident.

“And what will you give me in return?”

Meeting his eyes, you ask, “What do you want, Changmin?”

“Take your shirt off.”

Completely committed to whatever this game is, you agree to pull your shirt over your head, leaving you just in your pink lacy bra.

“Mmm so pretty. What type of pants are you wearing?”

You tilt the screen of your laptop to give him a view of your whole body. You’re in a pair of sleep shorts. Pushing your desk chair out of the way, you stand. Changmin looks you up and down, finally getting the chance to admire your full form.

“Take your pants off, sweetheart.”

You shake your head. “Your shirt first.”

Changmin considers refusing you, but he thinks your demanding tone is hot and does as you say. His body is chiseled. You’re surprised at how tiny his waist is and it makes your mouth water. Starry eyed and mouth agape, you stare unabashedly now as he resumes touching himself.

“Y/n, take your shorts off.” He is growing impatient with each touch of his hand. You stand and drop them to the floor, revealing a matching pink lace thong.

“You got all dressed up for me, baby?”

“No…”

“I bet you wanted to show it off. Hoped this would happen, huh? Fucking slut.”

You scoff. “You’re so full of yourself.” Despite your words, you can feel how aroused you are. Feeling bold, you sit on the edge of your bed and spread your legs, giving him a view of your clothed pussy.

“Fuck, Y/n.” He starts to stroke himself faster.

“Take your pants off, Changmin.”

“Ooh, say my name again, baby!” he moans.

“Please Changmin,” you whine as need starts to take over you.

He stands and slides his sweats off. The head of his cock is peeking out of his briefs and you lean towards the camera a little for a better view. You want to touch yourself, but still feeling shy, you resign to rubbing your thighs instead. He sits back down, keeping his legs spread for you.

“I want to see your boobs.”

You chuckle and unhook your bra without hesitation. You're horny and want this as much as him now. He watches it fall to the ground. You move closer to the camera so he can see your breasts better and now his mouth drops. You smile at the way his body reacts to you.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous, Y/n. I just want to wrap my lips around your tits. Swirl my tongue until your nipples are hard.” You suck in a breath trying to hold back a moan. “Are they hard right now?” He wonders aloud.

You gently rub over your nipple knowing full well they’re erect. “Yes,” you say.

“Fuck I bet they taste amazing.”

“I wanna taste you, Min.” His eyes widen, surprised by your candor.

“Yeah, baby? Want me to fill your mouth with my come?” You nod eagerly.

“Let me see you,” you demand.

He shakes his head. “Need you to earn it, baby girl. What do I get in return if I take my cock out for you?” You take a moment to think, then sit back on your bed. Leaning on your hands, you spread your legs wide again and dip your fingers into your panties. A breathy moan escapes you at the contact. Changmin groans in response. “Yeah, baby. Touch yourself, like that.” You toss your head back at the feeling of your fingers on your sensitive clit. “Don’t take your eyes off of me, Y/n.” You face him again and continue to rub while he stares.

“Well?” You moan out. He nods understanding your question. Changmin lifts his waist and pushes his briefs off. His cock springs back, slapping against his abs while precum dripples down the sides. He looks so hard and you can tell he needs relief. You lick your lips at the sight of his long cock. “Touch yourself too, Changmin. Get off with me.”

“Fuck yeah, baby.” He spits in his hand and starts to fist his cock, squeezing his red tip with each pump. You pick up your pace, the sounds of your arousal and his slick fist echo around you. Your breathing starts to quicken and you can’t stop the moans that leave your lips. “Stick your fingers inside and pretend it’s me.” You do as you're told and try to reach your sensitive spot.

“Mmm not enough. I need you, baby,” you whine.

“I know, I wish I was there with you. Next time.”

“Next time?”

“Yeah, next time I’ll come over and fuck you for real.”

“Come over now then.”

“But you look so pretty touching yourself for me.” He tries to match your pace as you push in and out of yourself spreading your wetness back over your clit.

“Feels so good, Min. Wish you could have a taste.”

“Oh, fuuckkk. Baby, have a taste for me.” You pause momentarily, never having tasted yourself before, but you want to please him. Removing your fingers, you insert them into your mouth and sigh at the taste on your tongue. Changmin curses and starts to pump faster.

“Such a, fuck…such a good girl.” He can’t hide his moans anymore and you're surprised at how high pitched they are. It turns you on further so you return your fingers to your clit to rub harder. “I’m close, Y/n. So fucking close, but I wanna come with you.”

“Wait.” Impatiently, you take your panties off giving him a full view of your pussy. Changbin bites his lip as he looks over your body, watching the way your face contorts as you pleasure yourself. His orgasm is fast approaching.

“I can’t wait to fuck you, baby. I’m going to destroy you.” His words help bring you closer to your release, pleasure building with each bump to your clit. Your ministrations increase and you can feel the band about to snap.

“Min, I’m, I’m-” tears start to spring at the corners of your eyes. You’re so close. “Ah, ah, ah, ah.” Your cries increase.

“Yea, baby, fuck! I’m gonna come too.”

“I’m…Changmin, I’m…coming!” You gasp. Changmin shouts your name as he comes with you, spilling white hot liquid over his hand. He continues to pump himself through his orgasm and you do the same. Moaning and rubbing until your thighs start to shake. He looks into your eyes as the two of you try to recover your breathing. You can feel your heartbeat in your ears.

“Y/n, you’re so beautiful,” Changmin says suddenly. The compliment makes your heart flutter. He looks down at his covered hand, amazed at how hard he came.

“If I was there I’d lick you clean,” you say.

“I bet you would. Guess you’ll just have to show me next time.”

“Next time.” You agree.

Changmin walks off screen to wash his hand so you put your shirt and shorts back on. When he comes back, you sit back in your chair at your desk. Changmin notices how flushed your cheeks are. His attention makes you feel hot all over. You both sit in silence. He struggles to think of what to say next and you giggle at how nervous he suddenly seems.

“Not getting shy on me now are you, Min?” He rolls his eyes at your teasing and you both laugh.

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow. Not sure if this study session was too helpful…”

Shaking your head, you chuckle before giving him a wave. “See you.”

“Good night, Y/n.” Changmin returns your wave.

“Good night.” You both smile at each other before closing out the zoom.

End.

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thevirtualvalentine · 1 year ago

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ROLL OUT THE RED CARPET : Hiiii !!!! Welcome to my 100 followers event (*´∇｀*)/ !! During this event, I’ll be taking up to 10 requests from followers (new or old) based on any combination of these prompts. The goal of this event is to write requests that have porno themes or are literal porn scenes (see below cut). Some important additional information: this is a purely one piece smut event, there is no set word count, and I will do my upmost best to make your film come true.

NO FUNNY BUSINESS !

you may only request once since there is a limited number of spots.

you must be off anon to request anything for this event.

remember I’m still a person when you’re requesting. my regular rules apply as well. I won’t write what I don’t like / am not comfortable with.

NOW, THE FUN STUFF :

First, pick a character from the following list. These are characters i’m willing to write for:

Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Nami, Robin, Law, Kidd, Koby, Ace, Sabo, Katakuri, Rosinante, Hancock, Shanks, Yamato, Kuzan, Kin’emon, Doflamingo, Mihawk, & Hawkins.

Second, pick a standard porno theme (if you don’t like any of these, suggest one).

Boss x Secretary

Vouyerism

Burglar (may contain dark content)

Massage

Casting couch

Pizza delivery guy/girl

Plumber

Pool boy OR Life guard

Shower sex

Ship-hiking OR Hitchhiking

Dads best friend

Taxi driver

Nurse OR Doctor x Patient

Professor x Student

Babysitter

Yoga instructor

Thirdly, pick a kink/fetish (or maybe two) to go along with your film. Please establish if it’s reader or character with the kink:

rough sex, bondage, blindfold, corruption, cuckolding (describe what characters and the situation), edging, breeding, overstimulation, asphyxiation (choking), food play, gagging, humiliation, impact play, mirrors, size, masochism or sadism, exhibitionism, hand, dacryphilia, lingerie. (If I missed any, just request and I’ll let you know).

SO, FOR EXAMPLE :

“Hi valentine, can I request (afab/gn/amab) reader with pizza delivery girl nami? hand kink (on readers end) and edging please?”

Or something like that! Make your request as personal, detailed, or ambiguous as you’d like. Give your reader/character characteristics even. I’ll do my best to write it in my style and combine your ideas!

And again, thank you all for 100 followers!!!!! T^T eughhh. I really appreciate it and I’m very excited to do my first event! 🖤

EVENT MASTERLIST :

Tape One :

portgas d. ace : pizza delivery boy ace needs to find a way to get compensation for your pizza.

Tape Two :

‘flame emperor’ sabo : professor sabo has some .. ideas for your tutoring session. one wrong answer and who knows what may happen.

Tape Three :

‘red hair’ shanks : it’s wrong isn’t it? but why does it feel so good. your dads best friend helping you move seemed like a great idea, if you could have kept it under control.

Tape Four :

trafalgar d. water law : dumb girl, doesn’t a pretty thing like you know to keep your doors locked? your heart isn’t the only thing he’s stealing tonight. (contains dark content)

Tape Five :

yamato : he can hear you every night as your roommate, your soft whines and begs to cum. finally he decides to do something about it.

Tape Six :

‘black leg’ sanji : when zoro bought sanji tickets to a personal yoga instructor, he swore he was never going to use it. now, you could say he’s a regular.

Tape Seven :

‘hawkeye’ mihawk : for your birthday, shanks decide it’s time to take you out for taste testing so you can know your limits, who else better to invite than mihawk? the man you’ve had a crush on for years, who is coincidentally your dads best friend.

Tape Eight :

roronoa zoro : he didn’t expect to find you of all people in a wano bath house, lets just say things get raunchy.

Tape Nine :

‘hawkeye’ mihawk : when you came back to your hometown to visit, your dad didn’t feel quite comfortable leaving you alone at home by yourself. He sends you off to mihawks gothic mansion for the weekend.

Tape Ten :

monkey d. luffy : quite the shitty delivery boy, he can never seem to get the food there in one piece. that’s ok though, he’ll find other ways to satiate your hunger …

#˗ˏˋ VALENTINES 100 FOLLOWERS EVENT ˎˊ˗#one piece x reader #one piece smut

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prettieinpink · 6 months ago

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advice on how to feel proud of yourself? I’m a student and I whenever I achieve something I don’t feel proud of myself, I’m just glad that it’s over. I wish I was someone who could be genuinely proud of themselves and consider their own validation enough. I also dont like how When someone else praises me i instantly feel good but I can’t get that same effect from myself :( pls help and thank you!!

First of all, if you feel that you’re glad that it's over instead of proud, it’s possible that you don’t entirely love what you are doing at the moment. I won’t elaborate on this further because you may just lack self-compassion, but I ask that you consider that factor.

Secondly, my apologies for replying so late. I hope this post finds you well✨🎀

REFLECTION INSTEAD OF DWELLING. If you feel this way, instead of dwelling on the fact that you feel that your accomplishments aren’t giving you self-satisfaction, focus on what validates your soul and gives you that self-satisfaction.

As you are a student, achieving high marks or awards is very good, which explains why you want to be proud of yourself. However, any external validation is temporary and is not sustainable.

Take some time to reflect and see what does validate yourself. Your sense of self-worth and validation doesn’t have to come from your school accomplishments, regardless of how You don’t have to be extremely proud of yourself to celebrate yourself. You did the work so that you can reward yourself.

high they are.

CHANGE YOUR WORDS. If you do feel like you’re glad it's over, instead of repeating that to yourself, reframe it so it's more affirmative to yourself because it’s okay to feel that you’re happy that it’s over. School and student life can be very stress-inducing, so it’s understandable. Some examples are...

‘ I'm proud of myself for persevering and completing this task.’

‘"I've done a great job, and I deserve to acknowledge my efforts."

‘I'm proud of my growth and progress, and I'm excited to see what the future holds."

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Another reason may be that you prioritize your academic career over your well-being, making your achievements seem less exciting. Make sure you’re taking the appropriate breaks, sleeping well, and having a balanced diet.

Also, make sure you’re balancing your studying and school work with hobbies and socializing. You don’t want your whole life to revolve around school. CELEBRATE IN YOUR OWN WAY. Whether it's a good meal, sleeping late watching Netflix, or even buying/baking yourself a cake.

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noonblight · 2 years ago

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Nemona, Female Neurodivergence, and Good Representation

Spoilers for the plot of ScarVi ahead, but here’s my full analysis and breakdown of Nemona!

So, I know what you’re thinking, ‘Game Freak making an autistic female main character? You must be out of your mind. This is clearly projecting!’

I’d like to preface this gently by saying that this is obviously just my personal conclusion based on subtextual analysis, but also, I’d like to call attention to the fact that Japan isn’t like the west when it comes to neurodiverse representation, and there isn’t a lot of Japanese media that explicitly uses the word autism. It’s a little unrealistic to expect Game Freak to call it by name, especially considering they make games for children and topics such as neurodiversity are often viewed as a more ‘adult’ thing to discuss. You are free to disagree with me, but please be polite in the replies of this post, as I only wish to have a constructive conversation about a writing decision that has been made.

Anyway, on to the good stuff and I must apologise in advance for this post being long, but I wanted to be thorough!

I played through all of ScarVi and I’m actually very pleased with Nemona as a character. I feel like despite the game’s technical quality, there was a real effort made this time around to flesh out the named characters. Nemona is one of my favourite examples of this, because her arc isn’t solely about being autistic, but it’s clearly a large part of her character and affects her life in a lot of ways.

Nemona is a battle fanatic, and it’s very likely one of her special interests. It’s how she connects with other people such as the main character, and it’s something she devotes her entire being and effort to. She never says she does so in order to impress others, but rather because it’s something she heavily enjoys.

Right from the start, Nemona is a successful champion rank trainer and wants you to become a trainer who can rival her in skill, and feels like it would lead to a better friendship if you could do that. Nemona’s priorities always centre around battling, and doing as much of it as possible. She’s the one who asks Geeta for permission to bestow a Tera orb upon your player. She gives you tips about the battle courts at different gyms. She even raises a new team of Pokémon throughout the game just to have an excuse to battle you at your level and watch you improve.

Nemona even loves battling so much that she finds it a little strange when others aren’t as enthusiastic about battling as she is, below is a quote I found particularly interesting because it really does show that she can be socially oblivious at times when it comes to societal expectations about what is an appropriate place or time to have a Pokémon battle.

Accompanying this, multiple times throughout the game she exhibits impulsive or oblivious behaviour and asks you to have another battle with her straight after another battle you’ve just had, usually due to being excited. Sometimes other characters will need to remind her that your Pokémon require healing first, or that there are other things that need doing. She doesn’t always understand how things should be handled in a conventional manner, despite being an expert on the topic of battling! (Or, she gets too excited and can’t help herself.)

In post-game, there’s even a scene where she doesn’t seem to understand that another student is reluctant to battle her and makes an excuse to leave early because she’s so far from being a casual trainer that it intimidates him. This is, in my opinion, actually quite a sad scene. She genuinely continues to think that he will challenge her to a battle at a different time, not realising that her ‘unusual’ enthusiasm and skill has scared him away, and that he has no intention of returning. A situation I’m sure a lot of neurodiverse children would connect with because it so accurately depicts what it’s like when others don’t share your interests to the degree that you hoped they would. This scene also hints at Nemona’s trouble with reading the emotions and intentions of others.

Nemona’s final post-game scene (which please, I BEG of you to go watch, it’s so good) confirms this outright, and also gives one of the most relatable lines in media about what it’s like to be neurodivergent in any way, especially as somebody who is younger:

Something I like about Nemona is that despite being socially oblivious and pushy with her interests, she is still a very sympathetic and friendly character. Not only does she cheer you on throughout the game, but she doesn’t only do it for the sake of serving only her own interests! She’s genuinely caring about others around her too.

(Nemona, congratulating the player when they beat her at the end of her storyline after she goes full-out. She is thrilled that you beat her! I love this moment.)

Throughout the last chapter in the game, there’s a lot of great moments with Nemona that show how caring she is. I think the best moments however, are where she tries to understand and support a scared Miraidon, and where she tries to help Arven.

Initially, she is misunderstanding and expects that the second Miraidon will be friendly and that it will be a family reunion, but once she realises this is not the case, she immediately switches to trying to support your Miraidon in any way she can. Despite not understanding why Miraidon is so afraid of returning to the Crater and facing the other Miraidon, she can be observed multiple times attempting to encourage it during the final battle, and can be seen in the final cutscene of the game with her arm around it as the group walks back to the academy.

(Nemona, displaying an implied struggle with visually judging the emotions of others.)

Nemona is also the one who suggests after a very heavy story ending that everyone goes home, and that they take the scenic route back to town. She clearly doesn’t know what to say to Arven about what he’s just been through, but she attempts to make him feel a bit better regardless.

I think this makes for particularly good representation, because not only is she less feminine than previous female rivals with her more sporty style and interests (something very common with autistic women) it also shows depth. I’ve seen autistic characters before that fall into the stereotype of coming across as emotionally detached or cold, or far too over-reactive. But I think Nemona strikes a lovely balance of caring, emotional, and socially lacking.

Now, on to a smaller detail that I want to point out that I really like the inclusion of is that glove. I could talk about how Nemona displays memory issues at times or other smaller symptoms of autism, but I really want to talk about the glove. I made a post on this subject the moment Nemona’s design was revealed on the official website, but I like that the game content openly confirmed that Nemona has motor issues with her dominant hand.

(Nemona, needing to support her arm when about to throw a Pokéball, or when she is about to terastalise her Pokémon. The burst of energy from the tera orb must make things a bit more difficult for her. A lovely small detail in her battles.)

(Nemona, confirming that she has trouble with Pokéballs. Something her website entry also stated.)

Now I’ve saved this until last because this is, in my opinion, a smaller detail that they didn’t need to include to make Nemona read as neurodiverse, but I’m thrilled they did. Nemona is the only character who wears an arm brace, something I picked up on immediately in the trailers before the games released. No other trainers wear one for the terastalisation mechanic, unlike the Z-bands from Alola. And even though Pokémon battling is her bread and butter, she still struggles with certain aspects of it! Not only is this trouble with motor skills realistic, but it’s also a very accurate portrayal of motor dysfunction that a lot of neurodiverse people experience in their day to day lives.

To bring this all to a close, I think that even though it isn’t stated outright, I believe Nemona isn’t just representation of neurodiversity in women, but I think that she is also GREAT representation. She knows that she has problems, and tries her best regardless! She is kind, and caring, even though she has difficulties with reading the emotions of others and understanding social expectations. Her entire story may be about making friends with you through the medium of battling, but it’s also a story about how she’s struggled in the past to connect with others because of her love of that medium.

I truely do feel like she’s a lovely depiction to be in a children’s game, because she is a very positive depiction of something that a lot of kids go through, and in the end, she gets to be herself and she gets to be happy by being true to that self. She is never forced to change to make friends, and instead befriends you and the other characters simply by remaining as she is.

#I’m sorry this post is so long I actually could have analysed it scene by scene but I wanted to be nice to everyone #and have a semblence of conciseness!#pokemon 2022 #nemona #pokemon #pokemon scarvi #autism #pokemon scarlet and violet #miraidon #arven #analysis #character analysis #actually autistic #representation

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writing-in-the-impala · 1 year ago

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Secret Smokes (Part 2)

Pairing: Teacher! Remus Lupin x Reader

Series Summary: When the reader bumps into the new DADA professor on the bridge in Hogwarts she begins to build a friendship with him all thanks to their shared feeling of not belonging and love for muggle cigarettes. Their friendship blooms while they both fight internal battles deciding what is wrong and what is right leading to a lot of fluff, angst, flirting and a rollercoaster of emotions.

Warnings: Swearing, Drinking, teacher-student relationship (but like it’s all legal chill), SLOWburn we’re in for a long ride

Word Count: 2267

A/N: Thank you for all the love on part 1, every nice comment gives me the motivation to keep posting!

This story takes place in a AU where Harry's parents are still alive so Remus Lupin still has all his friends and there is no war however that doesn't make him any less angsty. Everything else is pretty much the same as the canon universe! Enjoy!

| SERIES MASTER LIST | Previous Chapter, Part 2, Next Chapter

GIF by stephanieromanoff

The next day in class it felt like you and Lupin had your own little secret, when you walked in you could feel his eyes on you immediately, he smiled gently when your eyes met. After that there were no other abnormal interactions between the two of you, which in a way you felt great full for as you didn't want to feel uncomfortably in his lessons like you had something to hide. That evening you went back to the bridge to find Professor Lupin standing in the exact same place. "I didn't know you were such a creature of habit profesor." You said as a greeting.

"You obviously don't know me." He smiled gently at you. "When I was at Hogwarts I used to come to this very spot when I wanted some alone time. I had some of the best cigarettes of my youth in this very spot." He explained.

"Now that's not fair because this is where I've always gone to smoke. I think you need to leave Hogwarts profesor this bridge is not big enough for the two of us."

"Shame, I bought Camel Gold today." He pulled out the packet to show you.

"What I've only tried Camel Blue, can I have one." You asked on excitedly.

"I know as your teacher I should be worried by how much you just got excited over a cigarette packet but as a human I think it's funny." He said honestly.

"So can I try one?" You asked and he passed you one. "How come you've got muggle smokes?" You asked him.

"I prefer them, they have a camel on them." He shot a wink your way and you laughed.

"No but seriously, I thought wizards didn't think muggle ones were good enough." You asked.

"People just say that to sound better than muggles, I like to be honest. For example the people who refuse to read muggle books... they're missing out on some of the best literature they'll ever read because they're elitist." You liked this side of your Professor.

"Professor Lupin, I think you just became my favourite teacher." You said.

"You became my favourite student when you gave me a smoke." He shot another wink at you as he stood leaning back on the wood, with hands in his pockets looking at you.

"You're not supposed to have favourites you know." You teased him. He raised his eyebrows in shock and shot back. "You're not supposed to smoke on school grounds, you know." You laughed and he took another drag while smiling. Not much else was said, he finished his cigarette checked his watch like the night before and said he should get back, then echoing once again that you should make your way back to your dorm so you don't get in trouble for wandering the halls.

You watched him walk away, he had one hand in his pocket, never looking back at you as he walked into the darkness. You followed after he left your site and walked back to the common room. When you entered Percy was sitting reading a book near the door almost as if he was waiting for you. "What time do you call this L/N?" He said mockingly.

"Shut it Weasley." You replied sitting down beside him.

"Has Y/N gotten a new boyfriend already?" He asked lifting his eyebrow.

"No nothing like that Percy, my dear boy, you have nothing to worry about." You said resting a head on his shoulder.

"I know you attract trouble Y/N, both in boys and just how you like to spend your time." Percy began to gently lecture you.

"Are you my dad Percy?" You asked poking him.

"Y/N, I know you want a muggle job but please don't spend all your messing around with some boy and pulling pranks." He continued.

"Okay Percy this is not becoming a fun conversation, I was just having a smoke." You said.

"That's another thing you need to-" Percy began as you stood up and walked away.

"Is Percy lecturing you?" Fred said as he entered the room.

"Yup, telling me no to pranks and boys." You pouted and Percy rolled his eyes.

"He's just jealous, but we all know if you went for a Wesley you'd be choosing me or George not Percy." He said with a wink.

"You all disgust me, I'm going to bed." You said before leaving the room. You knew Percy was right and cared but you just wanted a pain free last year. The Weasley boys all cared for you a lot, they were like you wizard family, you even joined them on holidays sometimes. They were a welcoming family and whoever the children befriend would always be welcome in their home. Over summer you went camping with the Weasley family, Harry Potter joined and so did Hermione Granger. You got along with Hermione quite a lot as you shared many similarities, however she happily immersed herself in the wizarding world unlike you. Even though she was younger than you she always felt like someone you could have real conversations with. You considered yourself a friendly person but apart from the Weasley twins and Hermione you didn't have anyone else you could have truly deep conversations with, not even Percy as he worries too much.

You fell asleep thinking about Percy's words, however in the morning against his wishes you decided to skip most of your lessons. After breakfast you went outside to sit by the lake with a book, missing your first two lessons of the day. You decided to attend potions as you enjoyed it and found it a useful skill, when you entered the class Percy gave you a sad smile of disappointment. "Are you okay?" He simply asked instead of grilling you about skipping all the previous classes. "My mind was foggy when I woke up, I needed some air." You said and he gave you a nod.

"You can borrow my notes." He said and you thanked him. "You know Y/N, if you need to talk I'm here. If your brain is being difficult this year again we can help you through it." He continued sounding a bit too much like a teacher.

"It's fine it's just that feeling of being out of place again now that I'm back-" you began before Snape interrupted with "L/N. Weasley. Is your conversation more important than my class?"

"Sorry profesor." Percy and you quickly replied cutting your conversation short. Snape decided to keep you back after class to take away 5 points each and to tell you how important it is for you to focus this year words that made you want to roll your eyes. When you left you were already late for DADA. "Are you coming?" Percy asked and you shook your head no, he didn't ask any questions and just nodded his head. You walked back to the common room where you bumped into Fred and George who where also skipping, the three of you spent the time chatting and playing games and showing off trick to each other and didn't attend a single lesson for the rest of the day. You even had time to plan out a new minor prank and make plans to go to the three broomsticks soon as you need to go shopping for supplies for your prank anyway. In the evening you were in the common room mentally debating if you should head to the bridge today to meet Lupin as you did in fact miss his lesson, and if he sees you, you can't lie about being ill. You opened the Marauders map to check his location and noticed he was walking towards the bridge, you knew you can explain your way out of not being in his lesson today and that you wanted not only to smoke but also to talk to him so you headed to join him. As you approached he was in his usual spot leaning looking out as always, but today he wasn't smoking as you approached, he was waiting for you. You walked down the bridge towards him and he stood up straight and smiled taking out the cigarette out his pocket and offering you one as soon as you were an arms length away. "I feel bad taking yours." You said with a smile as you took one of your own out.

"I don't mind." He said gently. "Besides I like the company when I smoke, so it's in my interest for you not to smoke your whole stash before Christmas." He said knowingly.

"I can tell you've been through the pain of being a student that's addicted to nicotine." You said as you both lit your cigarette, he did it wand free you did it with a physically lighter.

"Weeks seem extremely long when you've run out and you know you're leaving Hogwarts in a week but it means a week with not a single smoke."

"Asking other to bump theirs." You added

"But they're all out too." He finished.

"You're a pro." You said with a smile making him laugh. Silence fell upon you before he spoke first.

"Did I do something to offend you Y/N?" He asked shocking you.

"What? No? Why?" You asked in confusion.

"You didn't attend class today." He simply stated turning to face you.

"Oh. That's nothing personal towards you profesor, I only attended one class today." You simply stated.

"Were you feeling ill? I'm sure Madame Pomfrey-" He began, giving you a perfect opportunity to lie.

"No." You simply said resulting in a surprised look from Lupin. "I just simply don't see the point in attending classes." You explained and he gave you a puzzled look encouraging you to explain, you looked away from him into the distance before speaking. "I'm getting a muggle job. So these exams mean nothing for my future."

"How can you be sure you'll never want a job in the wizarding world?" He questioned.

"Because I don't feel welcome by it. I'm an outsider, and I've always felt like wizards are afraid of me because I grew up as a muggle." You explained.

"You know there's many great witches and wizards who are muggle born. My mother was a muggle and I was raised in a mostly non-magic household."

"And do you feel welcome? Do you feel like they don't have prejudice against you and fear you?" You questioned and you could see you had gone too far as he looked taken aback and had a sad look on his face. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that." You added.

"No, it's okay. Yes I do feel those feeling sometimes, more than you would imagine... for many reasons not just because of my parents. But I don't think that can control what you do. If you don't learn magic to your best abilities they win. They don't want you to know things like potions and defence against the dark arts because they're scared you and many other great wizards will stand up for the underdog. However if we don't learn this stuff, we let them win. Who will protect muggles during dark times, if not great witches like you?" He became very emotional and was the one to nearly say sorry this time but you responded before he could.

"You know professor, you make a good point." You said looking down in embarrassment as he was correct and you felt guilty for all the lessons you missed and the knowledge you could've gained. "No one ever put it like that... I've always been told but what if you want to work in magic, but I never thought about who is protecting the people who can't fight magic with magic." You continued.

"Since I was a child I hated magical beings, they scared me." Lupin began, opening up. "But i realised we can do amazing things, cure diseases, protect innocent lives all through magic, to completely block it out of your life because some horrible kids don't treat muggle born wizards kindly would be a mistake, instead spite them and learn more than them so you can protect people against them." He said, everything felt very personal and you appreciated his words even if he was saying it all just because he's your teacher.

"Thank you for that professor, that's probably the best advice I've heard from any teacher in this school." You admitted.

"I'd like to see our conversations as more than just a teacher talking to his student but as a friendly discussion, as I think sometimes bright young women like yourself need someone to talk to them honestly. I know I wish someone had a conversation like that with me when I was in your place." He said with a kind smile at the end. "Anyway, I must get back and so must you as I've talked for a bit too long and it's quite a bit past your curfew." He said checking his watch. "Would you like me to escort you back so you don't get in trouble for wandering the halls at night?" He offered.

"It's okay professor, I know how to sneak out after dark and not get caught." You said with a smile and he laughed softly.

"I'm sure you do." He shook his head as if to say that he knows it's wrong he's allowing you to smoke and sneak around at night but he finds it humorous. "Good night Y/N." He said before walking away. "Goodnight Professor Lupin."

NEXT CHAPTER!

#student x teacher #harry potter #hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry #professor lupin x reader #remus love you #remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #teacher! remus lupin #the maruaders #secret smokes

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almayver · 5 months ago

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Alma dear, you’ve said that you’ve been on the jealous peem train for a long time. How do you think he’d act? What are the most juicy scenarios you can conjure with jealous peem?

Hey Cole! So yep, i’ve been in the Jealous Peem train for months now, but the funniest thing is I actually have no concrete idea?

Because the thing is, I don’t think Peek would know how to act either. He has probably only ever felt like mild envy towards Qs talent and things like that, but this? This has this weird tint of possessiveness to it that I don’t think he would know how to handle. And I think that’s what would make it interesting. Because you know our boy loves open communication, but it's hard to communicate when you don’t fully understand your feelings and when you feel like you shouldn’t be having them, right?

Ok this turned into a full-blown rant and doesn't make total sense but, putting it under the read more so I don't put a wall of text in the tag

So exploring that, I also believe it would be very specific. Like someone says that Phum is handsome and/or compliments him? Yeah, Peem at most rolls his eyes because yeah his boyfriend is the most beautiful person on earth, and he is great, those are just facts, actually more people should be saying it. Someone flirts with Phum? Well that’s just funny to him, they would probably make Phum flustered and Peem loves to tease his boyfriend. Also, he is just so secure on his boyfriend’s feelings that the fear would never be that Phum is going to leave him or find someone better. So what would make Peem jealous?

Well, jealousy at its core is about insecurities, right? So possible scenarios here that would make Peem feel weird (jealous Peem, you feel jealous)

The first one is a soft, fluffy friendship one! Peem is very much someone that is very good at comforting people, and with the comment of “You made me feel I couldn't be your comfort zone” we know how important that is to him, specially with Phum. But maybe down the line Phum feeling like shit for whatever reason and Q is the one to comfort him for some reason, maybe Peem is busy (I'm never leaving the Q-Phum besties agenda, I live there actually). And the fun element here would be the warring emotions of being so fucking happy that not only two very important people in his life are so close and comfortable with each other, but also the fact that this means Phum is not lonely and has so many people in his corner and that is the best thing he could hope for.

But. But there is this weird thing in his head that feels weird, this pure want of being the one that comforts Phum, the one that knows exactly what to say to make him feel better. And I think he would have that spiral of “what if I'm not good enough support for him, what if I'm a bad boyfriend, am I a bad friend and boyfriend for even thinking like this”. And he is maybe a little bitter, but he hates feeling like that. Eventually of course both Phum and Q would notice and be like “dummy, come on”, Q would probably actually call him dumb, while Phum would just go full puppy eyes and reassure him and also say something like “Honestly Q mostly calms me by talking about you.”

Ok got sidetracked by friendship feelings there sorry not even sure if that counts as jealousy, but I had to get that scenario out there

The others would be a bit more classic silly jealousy, I think.

So the second one that came to mid would come from how different their fields of study are. Imagine Phum working on a project being very excited talking about it (I was going to give an example, but I did 5 years of engineering and I still have no clue what civil engineers do so idk vague project it is) and it all sounds like Greek to Peem and Phum is scared that he is boring him so he stops rambling about it. But then Peem sees Phum talking with other engineering students, and it's just *sad kitten noises* because he doesn't know enough to talk like that with his boyfriend, and he is jealous of everyone that gets his attention in this very specific way that he can't get. (He later realizes that Phum feels the same way when he talks with Q about art and throughout their relationship they both just learn to listen to the other talk even when they don't fully understand and accept that the other just likes to hear them talk about things that they are passionate about)

The final one, tho? That's the one i crave. Because you know what I think would make Peem weirdly possessive and go all “MY puppy”? Someone making Phum laugh.

Phum, mister “casual small smirk 90% of the time but when I fully smile it looks like the sun came out”. They are maybe out in a bar or a party or whatever, and Phum goes for drinks or something and Peem is talking with the group about something when he hears Phum's laughter. And he stops and perks up like a meerkat because I'm sorry what. That sound normally only occurs when Phum is near him what is happening, something isn't right in the universe. And he looks towards the direction of the sound a Phum is cracking up because of some stranger and Peem is SEETHING, and he doesn't understand why, but he is angry and bitter and petty (everyone in the group is completely amused, they have never seen him like this)

But how would he react to that weird bitter feeling? Because i feel like even with the jealousy, he would never be mean or rude to someone that isn't doing something wrong. And also he wouldn't accuse Phum of anything because he knows that he would only feel sad. So I think he would go the other direction and basically do the equivalent of marking his territory. Like he suddenly ups the devoted attentive boyfriend thing to 200%, and he turns into a clingy koala. And he just keeps trying to make Phum smile and laugh because dammit, that pretty smile is his thanks. That is his personal sunlight, thank you very much. (Phum is delighted and just keeps smiling like the sun which just makes Peem want to make him smile even more, its a very fun cycle) But idk, that's a possibility.

(There's another more elaborate scenario that keeps bouncing around in my head that maybe ill turn into a fic but if it stays a half formed idea ill throw it in your inbox dear)

...that was A LOT. Thanks for sending this ask Cole that turned into a fun thought experiment.

#we are the series #the first 2 are not even fully jealousy i think #and thats what happens when an aroace person that doesnt normally experience jealousy writes about it #ask #thunder-point #cole

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sweetkpopmusings · 4 months ago

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long for you (act two) | h. hyunjin <3

a/n: i've returned with the second part of "long for you!" this is potentially the longest section, but we'll see :^) also ah! if you'd like to be added to the tag list, please reply to this or send me an ask <3 pics not mine <3

♡ find all parts here ♡

content: fluff, romance, fake dating, angst, a happy ending | wc: 7.7k | warnings: mentions of food/eating, a kiss, some crying | pairing: nonbinary!painter!hyunjin x gn!writer!reader | requests: open

synopsis: y/n is a writer with a long-awaited, well-deserved career opportunity. despite the excitement, there’s one major problem: the publisher expects a modern love story, equally romcom-like and authentic, but y/n lacks the inspiration to write something worth reading. through a chance meeting with mutual friends, y/n and hyunjin bond over upcoming deadlines and creative blocks. before the conversation ends, they discover that the ridiculous plot of fake dating might just work to solve their inspirational dry spell.

act two: the lovers

“sorry we are starting with something so stereotypical,” hyunjin smiles sheepishly as you both slide into your seats with fresh drinks.

“it’s okay! coffee shop dates are a default for me, if i’m being honest.”

they nod, pleased with your answer, “well then, why don’t you tell me about some of your other defaults?”

“meaning?”

“tell me about the music you listen to on repeat, the shows you watch and rewatch, your favorite color shirt to wear, your go-to story to tell at a party…” hyunjin pauses, pink tinting their ears when realizing he’s starting to ramble, “should i give you more examples?”

you laugh, “no, i think i get the gist of what you’re asking. hmm, let’s see…”

hyunjin waits patiently while you gather your thoughts and find a good place to start. it’s always a bit intimidating when you try to figure out the perfect conversation piece for a date. even if you’ve talked with someone over text beforehand, a lot rides on the first part of yourself that you share, even if it isn’t anything particularly vulnerable. perhaps because you’re a writer, you’re always hyper-aware of impressions, specifically the first ones you leave on and have about others. with hyunjin, your nerves dissipated after you walked through the coffee shop doors and waved to them. this arrangement, fake as it is, lends itself to a real comfort from the very beginning. you are not there to impress hyunjin. you’re there to know him for the sake of knowing him, and he’s there for the sake of knowing you.

hyunjin remains engaged with each anecdote you share, reacting enthusiastically at the exciting bits and showing concern at the right times. they even ask follow-up questions, make silly comments, and write down some new content to check out per your recommendation. by the time your drinks are halfway gone, you realize you’ve been the main one talking.

“so, when do i get to hear about your defaults? it feels as though i’ve been talking your ear off this entire time.”

hyunjin smiles, “i haven’t noticed! it’s really enjoyable listening to you.”

a sweet silence fills the space between you as they smile from across the table. you feel heat rising to your face at the tender attention, but, thankfully, it dissipates when hyunjin starts to speak.

“maybe it’s cliché, but i feel like it’s only natural if i start by talking about painting.”

“yes, please! i’d love to know about how that became your focus in art and life.”

hyunjin grins, a visible spark appearing in their eyes, “contrary to popular belief, painting wasn’t the first artistic medium i tried. i actually thought i’d pursue sculpture. there was something about it being so tactile, you know? like being able to feel the artwork with my bare hands, it was like my body movements were a part of the piece itself. and, being a pretentious college student, i loved leaving my actual fingerprint as my signature on each sculpture.”

hyunjin rolls their eyes, and you laugh, “oh, don’t even get me started on the pretentious stuff i used to do with writing assignments in high school and college.”

“oh, we’ll definitely be coming back to that,” hyunjin teases, “but even with my dramatic flair, sculpting started to…not necessarily bore me, but become…mundane. it was as though i hit a creative wall. none of my sculptures inspired me anymore; nothing seemed to go right. changbin reassured me that it was probably just a slump–we all have them, creative or not, as he said–i just knew that it was deeper than that. i was always searching for something in my work, and it felt like i had lost it in sculpting. then, by a stroke of luck or fate or good ole early adulthood happenstance, i attended a painting class. i don’t even remember why i took that particular class. immediately, though, it was like i was on fire with ideas. i remember my friends having to force me to leave the studio and eat, shower, or exist as a normal human being,” they laugh, slightly embarrassed at their former self’s antics, “eventually i calmed down from that initial creative high, of course. the fulfillment and energy painting gave me lasted. even today, even right now while talking about it, i can feel the urge to sketch out new ideas. so, i guess this is a long-winded way of me saying that, after taking a singular painting class, i fell in love with it, and years later i still haven’t expressed all that i need to through it.”

you nod, gratefully absorbing all of the information hyunjin shared with you. you notice there was an electricity in their voice when he discussed painting, hands gesturing excitedly and precisely when discussing how painting made them feel. regardless of your relationship with the art form, hyunjin’s description of it made you want to give painting a go. if you were honest, something about hyunjin’s words left you craving the feeling of a paintbrush in your hand. their words are like magic, and you wonder if all the great painters before had ever spoken so beautifully about the practice themselves.

“that’s incredible, hyunjin. it’s obvious you’re in the right field.”

he giggles, tucking his hair behind his ear, “i’m glad you think so. i always trust the judgment of a fellow artist.”

you giggle in response to their wink, and continue, “if you’re willing, i’d love to see some of your work. i know i could look it up online, but i figured i’d abstain from an internet investigation before our first fake date.”

hyunjin laughs, “i really appreciate that, y/n. i promise i didn’t read any of your writing before this.”

you feel a wave of relief wash over you, surprised that you were nervous about the prospect of hyunjin reading your work. before you could dwell on that mini revelation, hyunjin speaks again.

“rather than just show you some of my paintings, i think there’s something better we could do.”

their smile is playful, and you can’t deny the butterflies that flutter in your chest when you imagine the possibilities of what could be going on inside hyunjin’s head.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

sunlight washes over you, pleasantly warm and gently bright. hyunjin busies themself with the setup of the easels–small ones, so you both could sit comfortably on the picnic blanket he brought–and meticulously arranges the painting supplies. they hum a vaguely familiar melody, and your mind and body relax as you eat fresh fruit and sip homemade lemonade.

“ah!” hyunjin claps their hands together, “perfect!”

you give him a round of applause, which they respond to with a bow and thank you, thank you.

with two blank canvases in front of you, hyunjin asks, “do you know where you’re going to start?”

“hmmm,” your eyes sweep around the park, observing shadows fluttering in the shape of tree leaves and happy people walking and chatting down the park’s path, “ironically, i’m finding it hard to think of something when this place is so…idyllic.”

hyunjin sighs, more dreamily than in exasperation, “i totally get what you mean. maybe we can find a random prompt online?”

“what, like use a painting prompt generator?”

hyunjin makes a look of disgust, as cute and earnest as a toddler refusing vegetables, “no! i mean look for a list of prompts on tumblr or something and then choose one that sounds viable for us to complete on our date.”

biting your lip to prevent the instinctual smile that would erupt after a beautiful person says something like our date, you reply, “that works for me. why don’t you choose, as you’re the resident artist here?”

hyunjin agrees and gets right to work scouring the internet for the perfect picnic date painting idea. you busy yourself with finding the perfect playlist for your activity, which aids hyunjin in deciding on a prompt.

“how does painting the view from your bedroom window sound?”

“how do you know what the view from my bedroom window is?”

hyunjin’s eyes go wide, and they start shaking their hands frantically, desperate to dispel the thought of knowing anything about your bedroom, so you laugh and speak again before they fall too far down the rabbit hole, “i’m just teasing you, hyunjin! i know you’re not a creep who has previously snuck into my bedroom. that sounds like a perfect idea for our paintings.”

“phew!” hyunjin wipes imaginary sweat from their brow, “i’m glad we’ve cleared that all up. so let’s get started! let me know if you would like any tips along the way. i doubt you’ll need any, but i have made plenty of mistakes while mixing colors and choosing brush sizes to be quite the teacher.”

you both giggle at this admission and soon shout ready, get set, go! as you pick up your brushes. despite the racelike commentary, you both take your time. there is a calmness surrounding you, conversation sparse and ease abundant. much to your surprise, hyunjin asks for your advice a couple of times on their painting choices. you’re honored, which you tell them, and they only give you a look of confusion.

“what’s so strange about me asking for insight? you’re someone with a beautiful mind, and i’d be a fool not to appreciate your proximity.”

“you really know how to butter someone up, don’t you?”

hyunjin shakes his head, “according to changbin, i can only flirt unintentionally. it has to be natural; otherwise, i talk like someone who hasn’t had contact with another human in far too long.”

you laugh, not quite believing him, but you thank them for how they view your creativity. they jump at every opportunity you give them to discuss your painting, each time responding with grace and consideration. while you don’t spend too much of your time talking, you learn that everything hyunjin does with art is full of intention. that, you realize, must be what draws you in so intensely to their words and into the painting they hold before you.

“what do you think?”

hyunjin’s eyes are wide with anticipation as you scan every detail: the blue tint on the walls, the knick-knacks cluttering the desk, the dawn colors in the sky, and the two butterflies, mid-flight, just ahead of the windowsill.

“wow,” you breathe out softly, “it’s beautiful, hyunjin. i feel like i’m at home.”

they beam at your response and say about a thousand thank you’s in the span of about 20 seconds. when you show your painting, hyunjin takes just as much care in viewing yours. his focus is a little intimidating because of the ardor with which they examine your piece, but you trust that they won’t say anything too critical.

“this is stunning, y/n!”

you blush, a little taken aback by the passion, “you think so?”

hyunjin nods vigorously, “absolutely! i love everything about it. the textures, the colors, the items you included…all of it fits together so perfectly. sitting right in front of it makes me feel as though i’m safe from the outside world. it’s…serene.”

your head turns toward your painting, reviewing everything hyunjin mentioned, almost as though you’re looking for evidence of their claims. before your gaze can turn skeptical, hyunjin’s voice breaks your concentration.

“can i have it?”

you whip your head towards them, “huh?”

they gesture to the canvas beside you, “your painting. can i have it? i’d love to hang it above my desk, as an inspiration and a reprieve. i totally understand if you aren’t comfortable with that, or if you want to keep it for yourself, so no pressure! i just…well, honestly, i’d love to look at it and be reminded of today.”

you pretend you don’t notice the pinkness of hyunjin’s ears in hopes that they don’t notice the same flush on your skin, “um, yeah. yes! i’d be more than happy to give this to you.”

they nearly squeal with excitement and beg you to sign it. after your signature is placed in the corner, you hand it over to hyunjin. they stare at it lovingly, holding it with more care than you ever would have. after a little while, they look back up at you.

“why did you choose to paint the sunset at the very end, when there aren’t that many colors left in the sky?”

you can’t say that you thought it through before putting brush to canvas, but you pause before answering. if it’s for hyunjin’s curiosity, you’re more than willing to dig around in your brain for unearthed motivations.

“i think,” you start, not entirely confident but fully honest, “i think that i notice more of the world that’s right outside my room as i’m saying goodbye to the day. it’s like a transition from my public life to my private life, and, even though the night is only beginning, that time of day is when i can safely say ‘see you tomorrow’ to anything that isn’t in my home. that, or i just liked the colors of dusk better.”

you both laugh, and hyunjin sets the painting back on the easel before replying, “whatever the case, i’m honored that you’re letting me into that window of time with you. i’ll cherish this perspective, this moment, forever.”

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

you fidget with your clothes, tugging them to be sure they’re in exactly the right place, as hyunjin knocks on the door.

they turn to you and smile, “don’t worry, y/n, you look perfect.”

you smile back, now messing with your accessories, “thank you. i guess i feel extra nervous because i’m not used to going to things like this without felix or jisung.”

you feel a little embarrassed to admit that, but hyunjin shows no sign of judgment. instead, they pat you gently on the shoulder. the right amount of comfort.

“i know what you mean. you’ve got me though! let me know at any time if you need an escape. plus, i’m pretty sure felix will be here, so he can run away with you too.”

a giggle escapes your lips as changbin opens the apartment door, loudly greeting you and hyunjin.

“y/n! so glad you could make it!” changbin grins widely, beckoning you and hyunjin into his place.

as soon as you’re inside, changbin wraps his arm around hyunjin’s waist and places a kiss on their cheek. hyunjin laughs and wipes his cheek with the back of their hand, which earns a complaint from changbin.

“i love you, but i don’t want your cooties.”

“since when is it a crime to kiss the homies?”

“oh my god, changbin, you did not just say that,” a voice of disapproval chimes in from the living room.

you turn to the source of the voice and notice someone with long hair–similar to hyunjin’s, just lighter–and sharp features. before you even need to ask, hyunjin whispers jeongin to you.

“as in…?”

hyunjin nods, “yes, the jeongin who is ruining my life with his exhibition theme.”

jeongin turns his head so you can see him roll his eyes, “for once, our emo boy can’t come up with something heart-wrenching. i’m assuming that’s where you come in?”

he raises an eyebrow to you, more playful than inquisitive, so you nod, “yep! hyunjin’s muse, reporting for duty.”

you hear changbin laughing from the kitchen, and it grows louder as he returns with your drinks, “please, make yourselves at home! minho is almost done with the food, and felix should be here soon, so get comfortable!”

hyunjin guides you to the living room, and you catch a glimpse of minho working hard on the meal you’ll all devour far too quickly. yet another handsome member of the friend group–dizzying to think about how many attractive people are currently surrounding you–he also carries distinct features, particularly a sharp nose, and holds himself with certainty.

somehow reading your mind, hyunjin leans over to you, “don’t be intimidated. we’re obviously the hottest people here.”

you both snicker like schoolchildren, and you feel your shoulders relax bit by bit. felix’s arrival helps, especially since he engulfs you into one of his classic hugs the second he’s within arm’s reach.

“felix! you act like you didn’t just see me yesterday,” you chuckle, not making a move to break the embrace.

“yeah, yeah, i need to make sure your partner here doesn’t forget who comes first!”

felix sticks his tongue out at hyunjin, causing them to throw their head back in laughter. almost perfectly on cue, minho calls out to confirm that dinner is ready. changbin rushes around to serve everyone’s dishes, only being slightly micromanaged by minho. the conversation continues easily, while you all enjoy the graciously prepared meal. you learn not just about the new people in the room, but more about hyunjin: how they were in university, endless tales of their clumsiness, his affinity for painting flowers and portraits of strangers, as well as his never-ending love and support for those close to him. endeared only scratches the surface of the warm feeling growing inside you as you discover these qualities of hyunjin’s. if you were honest, you never wanted the conversation to go in a different direction. your heart was full learning more about the person at your side, and you were thoroughly entertained by all the faces he made when his friends embarrassed him. perhaps chasing the same warmth, hyunjin steers the conversation toward you.

“it feels a little silly to ask basic questions,” minho smirks, “hyunjin has already told us so much about you.”

felix giggles, “how could they not? y/n is the best.”

you smile at felix and then at hyunjin, who is trying to convince you that minho is exaggerating.

“i’ll only accept the best for our hyunjin, so let’s see if you really meet those standards, y/n,” changbin jokingly assumes the persona of a hardcore journalist, ready to get to the bottom of the night’s biggest story.

with that, hyunjin’s friends ask you question after question, sometimes starting with hyunjin told us about this, but we’d love to hear more from you in order to make hyunjin squirm in their seat. hyunjin’s adorableness reduces any anxiety or stress you would have normally felt when getting, for lack of a better term, examined by their friends. with him and felix on either side of you, you feel like you are in on the fun, not trapped in the spotlight.

“okay, okay, i think we can give y/n a break from the interview,” hyunjin puts their hands up in your defense.

changbin sighs, leaning back in his seat, “fine, but only because you asked, hyunjinnie.”

you could almost hear a collection of heart emojis coming from changbin’s mouth. it is funny how flirtatious he is with hyunjin, but you couldn’t deny a twinge of jealousy every time he made hyunjin blush. sure, you are fake dating them. but is it so out-of-pocket to feel as though you should be the one making hyunjin giggle, twirl their hair, and kick his feet? you make a mental note to ask felix that very question tomorrow, crossing your fingers that you were just feeling very committed to the bit and nothing else.

hours pass in the blink of an eye, and you only realize how tired you feel once felix mentions the time.

jeongin stretches, quickly standing up from the couch, “well, since changbin promised he would do all the dishes, i vote we all leave quickly so as to not hold him back from his chores!”

changbin yells in protest to no avail against jeongin’s mischievous grin. minho mutters something about “the kids” fighting again as he walks back to the kitchen. you hear the sink running and decide to invite minho to any dinner party you throw in the future.

felix checks his pockets to ensure he didn’t leave anything, turning to you before heading to the entryway, “would you like me to accompany you home?”

you shake your head, “no, that’s okay, felix! we live in opposite directions, and i can safely get home by myself. you go and get some rest!”

“who said you’re getting home by yourself?” hyunjin tilts his head.

changbin whoops from the kitchen, causing felix to laugh and hyunjin to quickly clarify, “i mean, who said that your partner wouldn’t make sure that you arrive home in one piece? it’s the chivalrous thing to do.”

“as long as it’s chivalrous and nothing more…” felix makes an i’m watching you gesture towards hyunjin.

you roll your eyes and wave goodbye to felix. within a handful of minutes, you and hyunjin are saying your goodbyes. hyunjin helps you to put on your shoes, and the two of you have almost escaped when changbin pulls hyunjin in for another kiss on the cheek.

“oh, come on!” hyunjin groans while changbin giggles in pure delight.

“bye, y/n! it was lovely having you here. you’re welcome back any time, with or without them!” changbin smiles at you.

you thank him, and minho, for dinner again. as you and hyunjin step into the hall, you are hit with another wave of tiredness.

hyunjin notices and drapes your coat around your shoulders, “let’s get you home, yeah?”

you nod, grateful that you don’t have to worry about staying awake to get home safely.

the two of you enjoy a comfortable silence as you make your way to your place. here and there, you share a smile, a knowing glance that both of you are quite happy to be there, together. there is a small pang in your chest when you reach your door, realizing that you’ll have to part ways with hyunjin now.

“so, i’ll see you in a few days for our next date?” hyunjin asks, hands in their pockets as they stand in front of you.

“of course! i’m looking forward to it.”

hyunjin grins. you start to turn toward your door, but you notice that they are staring at you.

“what’s up?”

hyunjin shakes his head slightly, as though they’re breaking themselves out of a trance, “nothing! sorry, i was just thinking about something.”

“care to share?” you raise an eyebrow, reenergized with curiosity.

their hand rubs the back of their neck, and they look down to the floor briefly, “i was running through the stereotypical goodbyes at the end of dates like this.”

you nod, only partially following their train of thought. they look back up at you, brown eyes soft yet focused. you’re not sure why, but you feel electricity in your fingertips beneath their gaze.

“in movies and books, nights like this usually end with a goodbye kiss.”

“oh, i see…” your voice fades, unsure of what to say next.

“we don’t have to! it just came to mind. probably an intrusive artistic thought. you know how creative brains live for the drama,” hyunjin jokes.

you laugh softly, somewhat halfheartedly, as you process what they said. you speak again, before they get too nervous.

“i wouldn’t be opposed to it,” you admit, “for the plot, of course.”

hyunjin’s eyes widen slightly in shock, but they nod quickly, “yes, for the plot! we should kiss for the plot!”

that sentence in particular earns a giggle from you, which relaxes hyunjin enough to take the necessary steps toward you. when you’re close enough to feel the heat radiating off each other’s bodies, hyunjin catches your gaze.

“are you sure?”

mustering up as much volume as you can–curse those big, beautiful brown eyes and all their charm–you respond, “yes, i’m sure.”

with that, hyunjin’s fingers delicately grace your chin, pulling you towards them. sweetly, like a hushed voice in a beautiful library, your lips meet. the kiss is quick, nothing too involved, but the sensation of hyunjin being so close to you, right beneath your fingertips, melts you in a way you can’t be sure that you’ve felt before.

when you open your eyes, you see that hyunjin’s are still closed, despite separating your lips a dozen or so seconds ago. the corners of your mouth lift, appreciating the innocent look on hyunjin’s face.

“wow,” hyunjin whispers, brown eyes observing you with a soft fervor, “thank you.”

oblivious to how much you’re blushing, you reply with a confident, “no, thank you.”

they smile widely, amused by the playful tone of your voice. judging by the look on his face, this is the best ending to the night that hyunjin ever could have imagined.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

stretching your arms and groaning, you remove your body from the position it had been locked in for the past couple of hours. you know the knock on the door was hyunjin–it hadn’t taken long for you to memorize what it sounded like for him to be near–so you do your best to open the door quickly and cheerily, despite your aching neck and shoulders.

“so sorry i’m late!” hyunjin exclaims, “changbin wasn’t letting me leave lunch, despite my insistence that i had a very important date to attend.”

you roll your eyes as you step to the side, letting hyunjin into your home, “are you sure you two aren’t dating?”

they scrunch their nose in light disgust, “i am certain. i love changbin, but we are not compatible partners, no matter what he may try to convince you of.”

you laugh, feeling a little more joyous at that admission than you probably should. hyunjin asks you about your day as you collect snacks to share, and he happily chats about anything and everything. whenever together, it seems as though neither of you would ever run out of words.

“so, are you ready?” hyunjin stretches their hands and wrists.

you nod, eyeing the stereotypical leather journal in front of them, “probably not as ready as you are.”

he giggles at the reference to the journal, “well, if i’m going to be in the presence of a real writer, i have to at least look the part, right?”

“what does that make me then, with my laptop on a metal stand in front of me?”

they hum, feigning deep thought before replying, “cute. it makes you cute.”

you scoff at the sly cheesiness, still having to turn your head in an attempt to hide the blush, “all right shakespeare, what do you say we get to writing?”

“i could never say no to you, y/n,” hyunjin replies with a sugary sweet tone and extra honey in their eyes.

with that, you two find your focus. after painting together, you suggested a writing date. admittedly, the suggestion came from your need to work on your novel as much as it came from the desire to spend more creative time with hyunjin. they, of course, jumped at the opportunity, clearly feeling just as fond of your painting session as you.

save for the low-volume background music, the sound of your keyboard, and hyunjin’s pen on paper, your home is delightfully silent. very quickly after hyunjin’s arrival, you make more progress than you had the entire day. hyunjin notices how in the zone you are, pausing their own work to appreciate your furrowed brow and fixed gaze on the screen. attached to the story unfolding in front of you, you’re not quite sure how long he has been observing you before you feel their eyes on you.

“is there something on my face?” your eyes flit to meet hyunjin’s before returning to the screen.

“just an admirable amount of concentration,” they chuckle, “though i’d hate to interrupt your flow, let’s take a quick break, yeah?”

you sigh, feeling the soreness in your wrists and back from vigorous typing, “okay, i guess we should.”

they’re obviously pleased as they sit up straighter, “yay! i think we deserve some treats, don’t you?”

you laugh, “i mean, i’m literally doing my job here, so i don’t know if that warrants a treat.”

hyunjin frowns, “everything warrants a treat! what do you want? a little bevvie? some food? it’s on me, so dream big!”

you laugh again, sweeter this time, “you don’t have to do that, hyunjin.”

he waves his hand in the air, dismissing your claim, “i do. you’re hosting me and letting me partake in your creative genius. the least i could do is offer you a snack or something!”

you can tell they won’t back down, so you agree to give them your order for your favorite restaurant. when the food arrives, you and hyunjin migrate to the living room, spreading out your spoils and turning on content you both love. it is casual and comfortable, wildly familiar despite this being the first time you two have had dinner like this. hyunjin says so themself, much to your delight.

after the plates have been cleared and the dishes have been cleaned, you two wind up at the table again, writing for hours and talking about random topics during your little breaks. eventually, you feel your brain wearing out, so you suggest that the writing session comes to a close.

“that sounds perfect to me,” hyunjin agrees, covering his mouth as he yawns, “was it successful for you?”

you hum happily, “yes! i can’t say that i made as much progress as i had hoped to, but i feel like i’m really fleshing out this story for the first time.”

hyunjin grins, “that’s wonderful! i’m so proud of you.”

your heart warms at their admission, and you ask, “how was it for you? come up with any masterpieces?”

they giggle, “i don’t know if i can call any of them masterpieces, but i did write some poems.”

“oh? you’re a painter and a poet?”

hyunjin looks away briefly, again tucking their hair behind their ear, “poetry is my favorite thing to write. i don’t do it very often because i’m not that adept at expressing myself in this way, but i enjoy the process every time.”

“expressing your thoughts with words gets easier with practice, so don’t discount yourself!” you reassure them, pausing to gain the courage to ask, “could i…would you mind if i read something you wrote?”

their ears immediately turn pink, but that doesn’t stop them from nodding and flipping through to a specific page, “here, this is my favorite one from today. please be nice in your feedback, for i am just a girl.”

you giggle at the last comment, and you graciously take the journal they place in your hands. the poem is short and impactful. in particular, you feel a few lines settling deep in your chest: a tenderness on fire / a lightness in your eyes / the unbearable closeness of desire / in the presence of your touch, in the proximity of your potential

“hyunjin,” you say their name softly, only loud enough for them to hear, “this is beautiful. your voice is captivating, truly. thank you for letting me read it.”

“you really think so?” their eyes linger on you, full of curiosity and wonder.

you nod, “i do. i can’t believe you wrote this while sitting at my kitchen table. i love it.”

hyunjin puts their hand on their chest, over their heart, “that means a lot, y/n. thank you.”

“of course,” you smile, slipping once again into a comfortable silence with them.

hyunjin accepts his journal back, and then fiddles with the page, “you can have this one, if you want.”

your eyebrows raise, shocked and excited, “really? you’re sure?”

they nod eagerly, tearing the page out before you formally accept it, “yes! i have your painting hanging by my desk, so it’d be an honor if you had my poem literally anywhere in your home.”

you laugh at their dramatics, gently holding out your hands to receive their beautiful words, “i’ll hang it on my fridge, so i can see it every morning, afternoon, and night.”

with that, hyunjin trails behind you like a puppy while you place the handwritten poem on your fridge, held up by your favorite magnet. you both smile, admiring the work in your quiet kitchen. the silence is only broken by hyunjin’s yawn, which they cutely apologize for. when you look at the clock, you realize how late it has become.

“oh wow! are you sure you’re awake enough to get home safely?”

“yes, i’ll be okay!” hyunjin assures you, walking toward your table to gather their things.

as you watch them move, you see their body sway with sleepiness in a way that emphasizes their natural clumsiness. there is no way you can let them travel alone, across town, in this state.

“hyunjin, please stay here tonight.”

they freeze, turning their head to you after a few beats pass, “are you–would that be–really?”

you fight the smile at their flustered response, “yes, really. i wouldn’t be able to sleep if i let you go home when you’re this tired. i probably have some clothes you can borrow and an extra toothbrush i keep for emergencies. you can sleep in the bed, and i’ll take the couch.”

“wow, y/n, thank you for caring this much about my well being,” they reply in an incredibly genuine tone.

your expression has to have been one of why wouldn’t i care about your well being? because they quickly speak again, “i just wouldn’t have expected my fake dating partner to be so generous with their home! no way i’m stealing your bed from you tonight, though. i will be sleeping on the couch, and that’s final.”

despite your honest efforts to donate your bed to hyunjin for the night, they truly won’t have it. you make up the couch while they get ready for bed, stepping into the bathroom yourself once they make themselves comfortable in the living room. you feel some nerves ripple inside you as you brush your teeth, but they verge on excitement more than anxiety. it’s strange, being so comfortable with hyunjin so soon. it could be the reduced pressure of your arrangement, or, more likely, it’s their good-natured spirit. you can’t help the warmth that envelops you as they wish you sweet dreams in a velvety, singsongy voice. you also can’t help the way your body sinks into the softness of your bed in an entirely new way, as though you have been introduced to a new kind of safety, a new kind of home that you didn’t know existed. you wonder whether hyunjin feels the same way too.

after a short while, you pad out to your kitchen to retrieve a glass of water. hyunjin sleeps soundly on the couch, blanket perfectly wrapped around them and hands folded under their pillow to prop their head at the perfect angle. you stare, enchanted by the soft curves of their slightly parted lips, hypnotized by the melodic rise and fall of their chest. standing there in your living room in the middle of the night, you discover that your fondness for the person in front of you has blossomed into something much greater than anything you would have expected weeks ago when you agreed to this fake dating venture. for fear that your gaze will pull them out of their slumber, you step back into your room, turning once more at the doorway to ensure they are still peacefully resting.

it doesn’t take much reflection to determine that you feel something special in hyunjin’s presence. though entirely unexpected and definitely not a part of the original plan, you know in your heart that you wouldn’t want it any other way.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

early in your “relationship,” you and hyunjin joked that, for a two-month anniversary, you should meet for dinner at a stereotypically romantic restaurant. both of you were people of your word, so it was no surprise when hyunjin made a reservation for a bistro in the area.

you decide to dress up like a movie character going to a date pertinent to the story’s plot–this may not be a proposal dinner, but two months into a three-month fake relationship certainly was worth celebrating. adorning curated accessories and the best outfit you could create, you happily stride to hyunjin at the restaurant’s entrance.

the space is bustling with people and conversation, but hyunjin’s greeting cuts through the noise with absolute clarity.

“hi y/n, you look lovely.”

you take a moment to appreciate their outfit–a simple trouser and button-up combo amplified by an embroidered blazer and statement jewelry–and reply with enthusiasm, “hi hyunjin, you look lovely too.”

he offers you a soft smile before guiding you through the front door. the host takes you to a table by the window, and you slip into your usual beginning-of-the-date conversation. hyunjin asks you about your day, tells you about theirs, and you laugh together at stories of your beloved friends doing dumb things.

getting the basics out of the way, you ask a question that’s been on your mind all day, “how is your painting series going?”

hyunjin lets out a small sigh, but quickly follows it with a smile, “i’ve made significant progress. i still have a long way to go, but, thankfully, i’m figuring out what i want to capture now.”

“oh, good!” you clap your hands, “i imagine the sigh was because of the stress? i know we are both coming close to the deadline.”

they take a sip of their water and nod, “yes, exactly. it’s difficult to appreciate creative breakthroughs when you’re hyper-aware of the clock ticking. how is the book?”

you grimace, “honestly…not as formed as i would hope, given there’s only a month left before i need to hand in the manuscript. the story is there, but i’m just not sure if i believe it, you know? and there’s the matter of the ending…”

hyunjin’s brow furrows, “isn’t it a guaranteed happy ending?”

“yes, thankfully i didn’t have to do the heavy-lifting of deciding whether the characters ended up together. i want to make sure, though, that the ending feels real. the lovers in the story are flawed. they make mistakes, they don’t always choose what’s best, they have big feelings and even bigger questions, and, ultimately, they’re realizing that they barely know anything about real love. i’m stuck trying to figure out how to grant them the gift of true love without losing the readers’ trust in my portrayal of the lived experience of loving someone. i think…i’m worried about whether people will agree that these characters have earned the happy ending.”

“if true love is the ending, then it’s not something they need to earn,” hyunjin muses, “i think everyone deserves true love.”

you let those words hang in the air, rolling them over in your mind. eventually, you smile at hyunjin.

“i’m not sure if that’s a conclusion i can come to naturally, but i think it’s beautiful that you have a romantic outlook on it all.”

they chuckle, “well, i’m sure that beautiful mind of yours will come up with the perfect ending, even if you don’t completely agree with my philosophy on the matter.”

after placing your orders, you both opt for quiet people-watching. the view of the city from that window feels intimate. just beyond a pane of glass is the world where you and hyunjin existed simultaneously before your paths ever crossed. while it’s probably the writer in you, you sit there wondering how many people could change each other’s lives, if only they were given the chance to meet.

the conversation is minimal throughout the rest of the meal. at times, you catch hyunjin watching you, only for them to quickly look away, seemingly embarrassed. you smile to yourself, unable to resist the cliché cuteness of it all.

after you catch them for the umpteenth time, you tease, “you know, if we’re fake dating, there’s nothing wrong with you staring at me.”

they laugh, tucking their hair behind their ear like clockwork, “i guess you’re right.”

“mhm,” you nod, leaning back in your seat, “what’re you thinking about when you look at me like that?”

hyunjin freezes, apparently caught off-guard by the question, “what am i thinking every time i look at you?”

“okay, maybe requesting an itemized list of your thoughts every time you look at me is a bit…extravagant, even for us,” you laugh, “so i guess i’m asking what you’re thinking of tonight, while you’re looking at me like that.”

he fidgets in his seat, and you worry that you’ve accidentally crossed a line into real-dating territory. you try not to scold yourself, at least not in the moment, because this faux-pas was bound to happen at some point or another, right?

you open your mouth to apologize for the weird question, but hyunjin answers, “i think we should end this.”

oh.

your mouth opens a few times before you can finally vocalize the only word you can think of, “what?”

hyunjin runs their hand through their hair, only to spin a ring on their finger over and over again while they speak, “i think we should end this arrangement we have. it’s been a lot of fun, don’t get me wrong, and i know we’ve both benefited creatively from it. i just think it has…run its course, you know?”

this arrangement. that phrase crashes over you like a tidal wave. you know it shouldn’t shock you because this is a fake dating arrangement. but it seemed that both of you started to treat it as something more. at least, that’s the impression you got with the intimate moments shared, the growing comfort between you two, and the abundant sweetness that surrounded you when you were together. sitting at this table and hearing these words, however, is an indication that maybe you were wrong. regardless, you can’t deny the fact that this has always been an at-will situation. if hyunjin wants to break it off, they can, no questions asked.

“i see…” you reply, hoping the pause wasn’t too long, “if that’s what you want, then that’s what we’ll do.”

“i’m sorry if this came out of nowhere. it must feel kind of random since i sort of…blurted it out,” they smile sympathetically, “i just think that it’s for the best. plus, we’ve both gotten what we needed out of this, right? i’ve gotten my paintings, and you’ve gotten your story. we accomplished what we set out to do.”

sure, you’ve gotten what you needed, but had you gotten all that you wanted? it feels as though there’s no use in asking hyunjin. if they wanted the same thing as you, they almost definitely wouldn’t have made the suggestion to end things.

“yeah, mission accomplished.”

you offer a weak smile, unsure of what to say next. a silence falls over you two again, signaling not comfort but the end of the conversation. you both simply have run out of words.

after saying the last thing you would have expected, after compartmentalizing everything you had built and secretly hoped you would never lose, hyunjin reaches out their hand, “no harm, no foul, right?”

choking back tears and mustering all your strength into keeping it together, you offer them your hand and reply, “no harm, no foul.”

hyunjin removes their hand from yours and quietly gathers their things. when they ask if you’ll be okay getting home on your own, you simply nod. hyunjin believes you, or at least respects your desire for space, so, with a small goodbye–not even a promise to see you soon–he walks out of the restaurant. instinctively, your eyes move toward the street to ensure they’re heading home safely, but hyunjin chooses to travel down a route out of your view. maybe that is for the best.

almost as though you’re the character in the movie you used as fashion inspiration, you lose track of time as you sit alone at the table. you know you need to go home, you want to get out of here, but you can’t figure out how to. when the waiter asks if you’d like more water, you shake your head and inform them that you’ll actually be leaving.

“i hope you enjoyed your dinner!” they grin politely.

“yes, yes, everything was great,” you lie.

“come back soon!” they call after you as you step past the threshold of the building.

you’re on the street. you’re standing where, only hours ago, you told hyunjin they looked lovely. how bitter it is to experience how much your world can change on such short notice. before you get too wrapped up in those thoughts, you will your legs to move, heading in the direction that will take you home. instinctively, you pull out your phone and call felix. when he picks up and says your name, everything falls apart.

“hey, are you okay? what’s going on?”

you sniffle, clear your throat, and beg your voice to do its job, “i don’t know, felix. i’m so confused. hyunjin…”

you hear felix jump to his feet on the other end, “did they hurt you? where are you? i’ll come get you.”

“no, they didn’t hurt me. well, not really. it’s,” a quick sob escapes your throat, muddling your words momentarily, “please come get me.”

“i’m coming. send me your location. i’ll be there as soon as i can.”

feeling comforted by the sound of his door closing behind him, you manage to say, “please bring jisung, too.”

“of course. stay where you are. stay safe. we’ll be right there. i love you, okay?”

“okay. i love you too. thank you,” you whisper, overwhelmed by the tears that stream endlessly.

after sending felix your exact location, you hide from the passersby against the corner of a building. with intense deep breathing and clenched fists, you manage to stop crying, at least enough for people to stop looking at you with concern.

“y/n!” two familiar voices call out to you from across the street.

you smile when you see jisung and felix running towards you, and that gratitude breaks your resolve, so the tears come falling down all the same.

jisung’s face is saturated with worry, “hey, hey, what’s going on?”

felix, eyes glistening with tears, wraps an arm around you to safely lead you home.

you stare at your feet, too emotional to look your dearest friends in the eyes while you admit, “hyunjin ended our…they broke…we won’t be seeing each other anymore. i don’t understand why, but…i think…my heart is broken.”

“oh, y/n…” felix laments.

jisung wraps his hand around yours and squeezes gently, “i’m so sorry. i honestly never would have expected this.”

“me neither,” you whisper, leaning even closer into felix, no longer distancing yourself from the truth.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

tag list: @velvetmoonlght @tirena1 (<333 tysm)

#sweetkpopmusings #stray kids fluff #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin x reader #stray kids x reader #stray kids fic #fake dating au #skz hyunjin #non idol au #skz fic #skz x reader #skz fluff #skz au #stray kids au #stray kids hyunjin #stray kids angst #skz angst #long for you

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katsona-the-katsequel · 2 months ago

Text

Fuuka☆Stampede!

The winner of the mini-stories poll from the P3 Club Book has finally arrived. Enjoy!

___________________________________________

Testimony 1: "Yamagishi? Ah, that quiet, reserved girl, right? She used to be a bit gloomy, but recently she's become a bit brighter. I don't think she has any hobbies... or anything? She occasionally reads some difficult-looking books. Ah, but I'm sure she's in a cultural club, right? The rest- sorry, I don't really know."

Testimony 2: "Fuuka-chan is the best! That fragile appearance, that soft voice that lures the listener into a dream, that clear mind that always ranks highly in grades - everything about her is ideal. She's a beautiful girl! By the way, rumor has it that she's studying hard to get into medical school. Ah, I want to be soothed by Fuuka-chan in her white coat!"

Testimony 3: "Fuuka Yamagishi? You know, she's just so irritating. She's always so nervous and whiny. Well, it's true that her vibe has changed recently. She's always with Natsuki, isn't she? What do you call that? She's like a sheep that is scared of the tiger? Haha, she's just not that smart."

People have many different masks. When you're with friends, when you're with family, when you're with a lover, we each have a different face.

The same can be said for Fuuka Yamagishi, who has a hidden side that cannot be gleaned from various testimonies. And on rare occasions, this side is revealed in front of her fellow students living in Iwatodai dormitory. For example, like this.

"Ahh...huh? Fuuka, what are you doing?"

One afternoon on a holiday, after a lazy sleep, Junpei came down from his room to the lounge to find Fuuka sitting on the sofa, concentrating on something in front of her. On the table, around 20 small pieces were lined up neatly, and next to them were the remains of what appeared to be bags in which the pieces had been kept, piled high.

"Oh, Junpei-kun, good morning... ahaha, just a little collection."

"Hmm? Are these bottle caps? I used to collect them, too, the ones from the Major League Baseball series. That brings back memories."

As Junpei had said, there was a small figure shown in each bottle cap, a type of freebie commonly given with soft drinks.

"Actually... I quite like these things and have a lot of them. Is that strange...?"

It is true that most collectors are men, and women with a collecting habit are quite rare. Moreover, the items lined up in front of her were somewhat, no, quite maniacal.

"What is this? A monster?"

"N-No, it's not! This is the monster from "Monsters from B-Movies, Season 3 of the Nostalgic Monsters Series.""

To Junpei, who had no particular interest in that sort of thing, it was indistinguishable from the special effects monsters he saw as a child, but to Fuuka there seemed to be a big difference. Junpei found Fuuka's unexpected hobby a bit refreshing.

"It's the underground creature that appears in 'Basket Case', and this one is the older brother".

Even though she was referring to the older brother, Junpei, who didn't even know who his younger brother was, could only reply, "Oh, I see." Ignoring Junpei, Fuuka continued her explanation, gradually becoming more excited.

"So, this is the famous Thing. Of course, not the John Carpenter one, but the old one. Oh, this one was hard to get, it's Ash's hand from 'Evil Dead'! It's kind of cute, isn't it?"

Fuuka's momentum was unstoppable, and Junpei was drenched in sweat even though it was not even hot. What had only been a quick morning greeting (it was already noon) seemed to have flipped a strange switch, causing something inside Fuuka to explode.

However, for some reason, Fuuka's expression suddenly clouded over and she let out a big sigh.

"But..."

"Wh-what's wrong?"

Junpei was a little taken aback by the sad expression on her face. After all, Fuuka was a very beautiful girl. However, the words that came out of her small lips were enough to dampen Junpei's wicked, cocky spirit.

"I can't find anything rare."

"Huh? A rare item?"

"Yes. It was a specimen of a dog that appeared in 'The Return of the Living Dead' that was brought back to life by a zombie serum. It was amazing, because even though it was split in half down the middle, it still barked. It was crazy."

Fuuka was laughing carefree. Junpei happened to look towards the TV and saw Koromaru sprawled out next to her, asleep. Fuuka was definitely a dog lover, wasn't she? So Junpei couldn't help but wonder how she could laugh so hard at a dog cut in half.

"Apparently it's super rare, so no matter how many I buy I can't find it. It's a secret, so there's no information on how many there are or anything... I've already got the whole set, so I'd like to get this series too... but I'm getting a little tired."

The 20+ bottle caps lined up in front of her were likely purchased today, judging by the open bags stacked next to them. He didn't know how long she'd been collecting, but she must have bought quite a few by now. Looking at Fuuka's slightly depressed face, Junpei eventually came to a conclusion.

"Okay, Fuuka! Is there anything I can do for you? I'll help you get that rare item. Oh, but don't ask me to lend you money. I'm broke."

"Eh? Junpei-kun...really?...Oh, thank you...I'm happy."

Fuuka smiled shyly. Ah, this is it, Junpei thought. When Junpei had lost Chidori and had almost lost the will to live, it was Fuuka's smile that had casually cared for and comforted him. It was by no means a romantic feeling, but simply a pure and warm thought that he could not allow this girl to look sad.

"But I had no idea you liked horror."

"Huh? I don't really like horror."

"Eh?"

"I've learned a lot about horror movies because I've been collecting these bottle caps."

"Is that so...?"

Touched by the collector's spirit that ordinary people could not understand, Junpei's earlier warm feelings disappeared and a chill ran down his spine. However, he knew that he couldn't go back on his decision, so he summoned all the manliness he usually didn't show and made a strong declaration to Fuuka.

"Okay then, let's start our search for the rare and elusive item tomorrow!"

"Yeah!"

That was the beginning of Junpei's days of suffering.

A week had passed since he declared his intention to help with the rare item hunt, and Junpei was already beginning to give up.

"(Panting... panting... panting...) Fu-Fuuka... w-why don't we... take a break for a bit?"

"No Junpei, you just took a break. Look, we can almost see the dorms."

Helping her find rare items meant accompanying Fuuka on her shopping sprees after school and acting as her luggage carrier. However, carrying her luggage was no joke. On the way from school to the dormitory, she would stop at every department store, supermarket, and sweet shop, buying 3-4 dozen drinks every day. If you did some simple math and assumed that a regular-sized plastic bottle weighs 500 grams, then 4 dozen drinks would weigh a whopping 25 kilograms! Thanks to her diligent savings since childhood, Fuuka's financial situation was such that she could withstand such a large amount of shopping. Unfortunately.

But that was not the only hardship. After buying the drinks, there was still the task of drinking them. Fuuka hated waste, so up until now she'd been drinking them all by herself. Because of this, the number of bottles she could buy at one time was limited, but with Junpei's help this had increased significantly, and she seemed extremely pleased. However...

"It's not appearing... must be rare... agh."

"That's right... hehe."

They didn't know what the probability was, but rare bottle caps should appear.

They didn't.

"It'd be bad if I used up any more of my savings..."

"Well... (burp)... before that... (burp)... my stomach... (burp)"

“But... we can’t back out, Junpei. You’ll help me until the end, right?”

Fuuka stared at Junpei with a thoughtful expression. *I see. So she has a competitive side too...* Junpei felt refreshed again as he saw another side of Fuuka he didn't know. And one by one, these unknown sides of Fuuka were revealed to Junpei.

That was the beginning of Fuuka's rampage.

"Please! If you ever find this bottle cap, could you give it to me? Oh, here's my contact information!"

"Fu-Fuuka... this is really embarrassing..."

On one occasion, he saw a forceful side of Fuuka when she grabbed a customer who happened to have bought the same drink as her and tried to get him to sign a contract to transfer the rare item if it came out.

"I'm going to look for the rare bottle cap... with Juno's fingertips"

"Hey, summoning a Persona here is bad!"

On another occasion, he saw a reckless side to Fuuka when she used Juno's searching ability to try and guess the contents of a bottle cap without opening it.

"Junpei! We'll be fine now! I borrowed a non-destructive testing scanner from Kirijo's lab that was developed for Aigis' maintenance. It'll be easy to find bottle caps with it! But it weighs nearly two tons... How am I going to carry it to the supermarket? Can you carry it?"

And then at another time, he saw a side of Fuuka that seemed perfect in everything but was surprisingly not thoughtful about the consequences.

...If anything, there were many aspects that he would have preferred not to see if possible.

However, they still couldn't find the rare bottle cap... and the final day of the campaign arrived with disappointment for both.

"In the end... it didn't work."

"Well, that happens. My life is just full of no-no's."

As they sat next to each other on a bench at Paulownia Mall, Junpei jokingly said this to her, and Fuuka, knowing how he really felt when he overcame adversity, simply replied with a gentle smile.

"But I'm a little disappointed."

"Is this what they call a collector's spirit?"

"No, it's not that... I was a little disappointed that I wasn't able to repay the help I received from Junpei and other people."

"Well, I got to see a lot of unexpected sides to Fuuka and it was fun, so it's all good."

Jokingly, but revealing his true feelings, Junpei consoled Fuuka of her frustration. And then...

"Now that I think about it, has anyone else helped you find the rare item?"

"Ah, well..."

Yes, that's what Fuuka was about to say.

"Fuuka!"

"Eh... Huh? Hey, Natsuki-chan!"

Suddenly, Fuuka's best friend, Natsu, who had recently transferred schools due to family circumstances, appeared.

"N-No way! What are you doing here?!"

"Well, today and tomorrow are consecutive holidays, right? I was a bit bored so I decided to stop by. I decided on the spur of the moment and didn't tell you anything because I thought it might be inconvenient for you. But isn't it fate that we managed to meet?"

"Yes, yes! It really was fate!"

Fuuka happily chatted with her, acting like a child and was asked, "Who's that guy? Is he your boyfriend?"

"No, he's not, he's someone from the same dorm..." This was another side of her that Junpei hadn't seen much of.

"Ah, that's right Junpei-kun."

At that moment, Fuuka turned towards Junpei and gently pushed Natsuki's shoulder.

"She's the other collaborator I mentioned earlier. Natsuki-chan wasn't interested in bottle caps either, but she looked up all sorts of information for me."

"Oh, what's the matter, Fuuka? You still haven't gotten bored of collecting them? That's a really strange hobby, don't you think?"

*Oh, I see*, Junpei thought, when Natsuki blurted out something shocking.

"Oh, by the way, Fuuka. I told you about it before, um... Batarian, I think? The secret one. The campaign finally starts tomorrow, right? Make sure you get it."

"...Eh?"

"...Huh?"

"Hmm? Did I say something weird?"

"Starting tomorrow?"

"That's right. Have you forgotten? The secret spoiler for season 4. I got it through my mobile phone network. It's super valuable information."

An unnatural silence reigned between the three of them.

And then...

"...Fuuka?"

"...Y-yes...?"

"What about my hardships up until now...?"

"…Umm…Sorry."

Junpei's whole body went limp and he collapsed, face down on the cold marble floor of Paulownia Mall, unable to move. Although she seemed serious and reliable, she was actually quite naive and forgetful. But that was another lovable side of Fuuka.

___________________________________________

Tag List: @kerto-p

#persona 3 #fuuka yamagishi #junpei iori #natsuki moriyama #that does appear in the bible!

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upontherisers · 5 months ago

Note

if you're feeling it, could i please request "playing with each other’s fingers" for an oc of your choice👀 — @shoshiwrites

happy (belated) bday my dear shosh. here is a very very belated prompt to celebrate. this is an AU i've had for years but @loveduringthewar's beautiful West Wing AU inspired me to get some real writing done on it. summary: poet laureate mattie james is dutifully protected by secret service special agent joe toye.

a friday in autumn, 2:19 pm

Joe finds himself in a chair across from Mattie, who’s surrounded by a gaggle of vigilantly curious middle schoolers as she holds his palm and moves his hand around.

“See?” she says, angling his fingers toward the fluorescent lights overhead, “it’s too big. So,” she lets his hand down once more and slips her wire work off his finger. “We gotta make it smaller but if we squeeze it—”

“There’ll be a bend, like, a little point.” One of the kids makes a ‘V’ with his hands and Mattie beams.

“Exactly! Let me show you how to avoid that.” She sits back with the paperclip ring and the circle of kids closes around her once more.

Joe takes a moment to look around for help from any of the other adults in the room, hoping someone else is willing to jump in and play model while he gets back to his very serious job of protecting a representative of the state, but he’s only met with endeared smiles from the teachers and duty-bound refusal from his fellow agents. Bull’s at the door with a sympathetic but ultimately unmoved nod, Bill’s glancing over with a smug, thrilled sneer between chatting to one of the instructors, and Johnny shakes his head before looking at the floor. Joe knows what that means—you made your bed, now lie in it.

Or, as Mattie likes to say, grow a spine.

It’s not like Joe doesn’t have a spine. He spends his days telling people what they can and can’t do, where they can and can’t go, and who they can and can’t speak to, all without getting caught up in their pleas and compromises. This job does not allow for missteps; he’s not a man who takes chances. But this, and but is doing a lot of work here says the Mattie in his brain because she lives there now, this is different.

This is the fourth school they’ve been to this week and it goes the same every time. They arrive to a warm, overenthusiastic welcome from the teachers and an excited-slash-confused-to-borderline-hostile reception from the students. Mattie’s music isn’t necessarily targeted toward the middle grades, her poetry even less so. But she gets up there nonetheless.

Hi, I’m Mattie. I make music and I write poems.

Are you good at it? a kid will ask, always a boy—this one proudly introduced himself as Tyler, always towards the back of the room, always accompanied by giggles.

Mattie shrugs. Some people think I am, some people think I’m trash. And the shock of that admission, from an adult, from a capital-I important adult, breaks the spell of awkwardness and within a few minutes, she’s charmed the whole room. The kids are eating out of her palm. Even the ones who were determined to be difficult have either bought in or are about to.

Joe is now familiar with the mix of admiration and jealousy on a teacher’s face when they realize that Mattie’s nearing a participation rate that Maria Montessori would be jealous of. Johnny leans over to them with a grimace of empathy. It’s not you, it’s her. She’s a magician with this stuff.

Then, her least favorite part. She asks for a volunteer, just for a moment, just for a prompt. We can’t theorize our way into making art. We gotta do it. All the energy that had built up and the excitement on the kids’ faces fizzle. She’ll give it a few seconds and look at the adults in the room rather than the kids, half-pleading, half-resigned, then laugh like that was expected, like she asked them to skydive with no parachute.

She’ll let off steam about it later, when they’re in the car, when they’re back in her suite at the Library of Congress. How hard is it to set an example? They introduce me like I’m Nelson fucking Mandela but as soon as I ask them to engage for the sake of their kids, crickets.

Mattie, Johnny’ll say, it’s not that—

It’s because they don’t take this seriously. All this talk about how important artistic outlets are, but God forbid you have to do that art yourself. Because that’s not serious, that’s not real. She lets her bag hit the ground harder than necessary and runs her hands over her face before ripping open her beat-up laptop, mumbling to herself. It’s fine. It’s about the kids, it’s about the kids.

Bill’ll send a get a load of this guy eyebrow around to the other three, but Joe usually finds himself nodding in agreement with Mattie. Poet Laureate is quite a title, but it doesn’t mean anything when no one’s listening. People should listen.

So, on this particular Friday as Tyler, who reminds Joe of Bull—well-built and curly blonde—takes the awkward silence to look at him and the rest of the agents rather than his teachers or Mattie, Joe decides that it changes today. He knows the answers to her prompts already—think of a fruit, apple; think of a color that’s not also the color of an apple, purple. A four-man detail has one redundant agent and all entrances and exits have been secured; the other three can spare him for a while.

He pushes off the eastern wall or the room and half-raises a hand before fully raising it when he sees Mattie’s eyes light up upon realizing what he’s doing. He answers her questions only slightly disquieted by the sudden amount of eyes on him, but as she starts her poem building exercise with a thankful wink, he feels pretty good about it. He’s doing the thing, making art instead of theorizing, setting the example.

More like sitting the example. In his two months with Mattie, he forgot that making art could mean… y’know, making it, not just writing it down. It’s the whole point of the exercise, actually. Ten minutes of silent work, discussion, ten minutes of work with light conversation—Mattie’s the queen of light conversation, then presentations from anyone who wants to. The only rules are that you have to make something, whether it be using the poem prompt she walks them through or something from the classroom supplies at your teacher’s discretion.

The kids who wanted to write set off with their paper and pencils and Mattie walks around for a bit before settling into an empty chair and fiddling with the paper clips a girl is using crafts. Tyler wanders by first, then two of his friends, next a few of their friends, and soon, there’s a bundle of 7th graders watching Mattie make a paper clip ring. And of course, they want to make one too and of course, Mattie needs a model for show because if all of the kids are making one and she’s teaching, then who’s driving the boat? And of course Joe gets pulled in because he volunteered so nicely before.

The circle of children parts like the Red Sea and he’s face-to-face with Mattie again as she wraps the ring around his finger, her hands working around his to fit the metal securely. She’s full of focus, eyes locked on where their skin meets, still in her shoulders and steady in her breathing in the way she only ever is when she’s in the zone. He wants to laugh at the dedication to this tiny strip of wire, but he won’t, not in present company; he can’t have them think he’s laughing at her.

Maybe you don’t have to have volunteers, Johnny offers after their third visit with no adult participation.

Mattie sighs. It’s about the principle of the thing.

Oh, Bill snarks, the principle of the thing.

The kids don’t need to follow the teachers, they follow you just fine, Bull says from his spot at the door.

Johnny nods sagely. Yeah, monkey see, monkey do.

Well, Mattie says, tilting her head in sad consideration, maybe I’d hoped there’d be better monkeys.

Joe is being a better monkey, so no laughing. Instead, he looks from her face to their hands, wondering as always what she sees and how she sees it. It’s not just metal and space to her because nothing is ever just anything to her.

Her brain’s wired different than ours, as Bill says. And Johnny says, your brain isn’t wired at all.

He’s sure she’s watching the steel atoms bump into each other or she’s far beyond, watching the solar system spin on its galactic arm, just a blip in the rapidly approaching collision with Andromeda. Or she’s in both places at once, and here with him, too, capable of holding onto every eon and tense and time zone at once. He doesn’t understand it, not yet, where the poet ends and the person begins.

“There!” Mattie says, sitting back. Joe holds still for what seems like far too long as the kids investigate her handiwork and investigate him. Their inquisitive gazes wander from the ring to his face, some of them leaning in to squint at him, evaluative and unimpressed.

Most of them have figured what he’s doing here, with three other guys who have similar enough haircuts and stand with hands clasped at rest in front of them, plain clothed but suspiciously so. He likes kids, or at least, he’s discovered that he likes them more than he thought he would. They don’t understand that it’s some people’s job to fly under the radar. They meet his gaze as much as they meet Mattie’s instead of politely ignoring him and his fellow agents like adults know to do. And when they do look at him, they don’t care. He has to respect that.

He’s watching Mattie shape a paperclip for a kid when Tyler suddenly fills up his entire field of vision, staring wide-eyed like Joe is a fish in a tank. “Do you have a gun?”

“Okay,” Mattie says, reaching out and clapping Tyler on the shoulder, “it seems like we’re ready for presentations! Let’s take our seats.”

Joe bolts out of his chair and takes his place along the wall again as Mattie wraps up.

He doesn’t realize he still has the heart-shaped ring on until they’re back at the Library of Congress and walking into Mattie’s suite. It’s so light that he forgets he's wearing it and it’s only as she sets her bag down and the flower ring one of the girls gave her catches the sun that he remembers what sits on his finger.

He slips it off and holds it out to her. “Here.”

She takes it gently, turning it over in her decorated hands before flipping it back to him like a coin. “It’s a gift,” she says with a wink, “for being my guinea pig.”

His mouth opens to say something, anything, but the words die in his throat. Taking a moment, he studies it for the first time. It’s a delicate thing, slightly springy if he squeezes the sides, more of a square than a circle, and so very Mattie that he’d pick her if someone had him guess at the maker. The heart has been roughly colored by a red Crayola marker which she’d gotten all over a desk and apologetically wiped up and the imperfections of it—the bends that won’t come out from the original shape, the matte sheen from all the handling—makes it more beautiful.

He doesn’t know where to put it. It’ll fall right off the chain of his cross, and he can’t wear it and risk it getting snagged on something, but he wants it around. He wants to be able to see it and remember a day that was good, a day when he felt like they made a difference, that he made a difference. He hadn’t had a day like that in a long time.

It ends up in his locker at the D.C. headquarters office. Bringing it home feels too… too close, but this is a good spot, halfway between head and heart. He places it on the little shelf in the back next to his spare sunglasses and his old dog tags. He can’t seem to bring those home, either.

Johnny shakes his head as he passes on the way to his locker.

Joe pauses. “What?”

“You can’t say no to that girl.”

This is what Johnny’s amusement was about earlier in the classroom. There was nothing wrong with Joe stepping up or sitting down for a demonstration—it’s encouraged actually, especially at schools, something about giving the Service a friendlier face. Johnny’s gripe is with who Joe stepped up for and why he did it.

“No favorites, Joe.”

“You think I’m playing favorites?”

“I think you don’t understand her.”

“And you do?”

Johnny shrugs and shuts his locker. “No, but I don’t try to. You can’t let it go.”

“I think,” Joe starts as he follows the other agent down to check-out, “that if we understand her, we can understand this guy and get him.”

It’s the one thing that bothers Joe about this case. Lots of people get threats—protecting those people is eighty percent of his job—but there’s something about the ones Mattie gets that doesn’t sit right with him, hasn’t since the beginning. The letters are the one inroad that anyone has to solve this thing and as more show up with diminishing progress from the combined efforts of the Service and the FBI, he thinks it’s time to get a move on. Maybe the missing link is in the protectee and not the thing they’re protecting her from.

What’s the harm in trying? He keeps thinking about where Mattie gets stuck in her job, where she’s given status but no authority, and how she keeps returning to her painted corner with a brave smile, gracious to wait there until she gets called up to do her tricks again. People listen to poetry but they don’t understand it, she says and that’s not fair. When he looks at Mattie, he sees a girl who should be understood as completely as possible, if ever possible.

Johnny flashes his badge at the front desk sensor and looks back at Joe. “It’s not your job to understand. It’s your job to stand there. What if something happened while you were getting your ring sized?”

Joe’s offended. “Sitting down means I’m compromised?”

“Getting involved means you’re compromised.” Johnny’s facing him now that they’re both in the exit lobby, a pensive look on his face as his bag is slung over his shoulder. “Look, Joe, they’re not paying us to think on this one. If you think something’s up, talk to Dick, otherwise, this is not the kind of work you bring home.”

Right, ‘cause Johnny’s a family man now, with a wife and a kid and a baby on the way.

“I didn’t bring it home,” Joe says.

Johnny nods but his eyes are far away. “Yeah, but you thought about it.”

Silence falls for a moment before Johnny sniffs and shoulders his bag. “Who’s on duty tonight?”

“Talbert and Grant,” Joe replies.

Johnny nods. “Make sure they take a look at the cameras, see if they can figure out why they’re down.”

“Yeah,” Joe sighs and heads out with a nod.

The drive home is quiet except for the radio and as he pulls into the parking lot, one of Mattie’s songs comes on the folk station he’s been lurking on. He sits for as long as it takes to play—eyes closed, head rested on his seat—and lets her voice wash over him. She sings like she speaks, brassy and casual, effortless, not having to reach for what she wants, alluring, magnetic in a way that gets under his skin. He listens for anything that could teach him something and he’s so caught up in the mystery of the girl and the thing that goes bump in the night, that he doesn’t listen to the lyrics until the chorus.

But I’m in so deep, she sings, you know I’m such a fool for you. You got me wrapped around your finger, oh. Do you have to let it linger?

“What the hell do you know about The Cranberries?” he asks to the air, smiling softly.

It ends too soon, but the cool night outside shocks the spell of Mattie’s voice from his system as he enters his dark apartment. His nights off-duty are more and more standard as this assignment goes on; he’ll check in with his older sister as he gets dinner ready—Mom’s arthritis is flaring worse than usual and his niece is deciding between swim and soccer camp, catch the Pirates highlights on ESPN, do the dishes, then do his readings.

He started them on a curious whim, just to see what the hype was about and ended up standing in the aisle of a Brentwood bookstore for fifteen minutes, engrossed, until the attendant asked him if he was going to be making a purchase. He bought three books, none of them very long, but he’s not a book guy so they’ve been a task to get through.

He read Letters from a Convict Child first because it’s the book that put Mattie on the map and wrote a man out of incarceration and he’s not sure that he got all of it—he’s not sure that he got any of it—but he understands her now, at least more than he did two months ago. Each poem that paints a picture of the world paints a picture of the writer, too, and sometimes he wants to look away as Mattie touches her own raw nerves to get the words out. But he stays for her, he stays because people always look away. That’s why she writes.

As of yesterday, he’s officially halfway through reading grow lemon grow poem by poem and as he finds tonight’s selection, he’s struck by the opening lines.

Wire hurts my hands, makes my fingers stink But I bend another paperclip

He underlines in his shitty pencil and reads the poem over and over again until his eyes start to droop close and he drags himself to bed wondering what Mattie’s night was like, if she offered her dinner to Tab and Chuck like she does he and Johnny, what music she played. It was Nina last week, but she’d spent the morning humming the Lumineers. Did she skip eleven songs before settling on the twelfth, or did she demand silence and curl up on the chair in the corner of her patio, legs tangled together, and write until Tab had to shuffle her to bed?

Did she make them rings despite the way the metal presses lines into the pads of her fingers? What did she say? Did either of them listen?

He jolts up in the dull gray light of morning, scrambling to shut off his alarm as his chest heaves. In the bathroom, he splashes his face with cold water until the scenes of his dreams—lemon trees, paper clip rings, the shredded and smoking hull of an armored vehicle in the desert, a shadowed figure slipping a letter under Mattie’s door—wash away with the chill. His phone dings.

From B. Guarnere: Ur on coffee duty. Hurry up

#mail call #Anonymous #shoshi's bday bash #i meant to publish this yesterday but when i went to reread it i added two more pages oops!#mattie james #mattie x joe #my writing #wordsmith au #shoshi tag

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absurdly-overpowered-astronaut · 2 months ago

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@lemonpocalypse here is the Ryuji ramble :D

No pressure to read everything I ended up writing a lot (｡ó﹏ò｡)\

Okay so I’m going to start off with the bank scene because my interpretation and ensuing head canons are pretty self contained and touches on/establishes some key points of my reading. The specific scene I’m talking about is when in Kaneshiro’s palace Ryuji attempts to solve the puzzle and spells huge as H-E-W-J and I’m pretty sure he miss reads huge as hugs but its been awhile since I’ve played the game so I can’t fully remember what it is he miss-reads.

I want to play through the game in Japanese to see how this scene works in the original text but at least in the English version this scene is meant to be funny a “haha Ryuji’s so stupid he can’t even spell or read. Ryuji’s so stupid :)” but if taken seriously this actually has a some interesting and concerning implications.

Firstly this scene implies Ryuji can’t spell or write which means so many things like for example as far as we know Ryuji takes the same tests as the ones we see Ren and Ann take which are tests where you *read* the question and *write* an answer / *read* the multi choice options. If Ryuji can’t read then of course he’s failing the tests?! It doesn’t matter if you know the answers if you don’t know the question and of course he’s failing school if can’t read or write he doesn't even have the tools to participate in the system even if wanted to.

This is really fascinating to me because of how it affects the implications of his attitude towards school. Before the implication is that he’s lazy/doesn’t care about the exam’s but if he can’t do them then him not studying for them/his general recklessness attitude towards his education becomes more then laziness and more then not wanting to participate in a system it becomes that even if he tried he can’t even read the questions or physical study materials so what's the point?

Ryuji has a complicated relationship with school all the PT do to differing extents and this just layers it even more. Not only was he let down by it with the whole Kamashida situation but with this in mind he’s probably been left behind by it entirely.

we see with the PT and with track that in a different environment and when it’s something he’s passionate about he puts his whole heart into it but it seems like with school if he’s can’t read or write he’s probably had difficulties with school since he was very young and before he and his mum moved.

It also strengthens this cool parallel between Makoto and Ryuji that I really like where Makoto doesn’t see how the system has let Ryuji down and is still hurting him just sees him as not trying hard enough and Ryuji doesn’t see how the system has let Makoto down and is still hurting her because of her school president good student reputation.

In the bank scebe Ryuji seems so genuinely excited to contribute to the team so I think this shows how he trusts the PT and feels comfortable to try and spell/read but then Morgana calls him stupid…..again which is always frustrating but especially so because prior Ann tried to solve the puzzle and wasn’t treated as poorly. Ann doesn’t get berated or called stupid and this definitely isn’t to say she should be and it's still pretty mean of Morgana to say what he does but this difference in how their struggles are treated is something that's going to come up later so put a pin in that.

Though it makes Ryuji finally studying with the PT even more cute because they can/do read the questions and he can see how they write the answers. It also works really well with the themes of the game about how finding support networks can help people remove themselves from/stand up to/work with in/take down toxic systems.

Because of this line that implies he can’t read and write I headcanon that Ryuji has some equivalent to text to speech and voice type on his phone to make up for not being able to spell and read himself and that provides an in-universe explanation for why his accent shows up in his texts.

I think whenever we see him write something in the base game (idk about Strikers and P5T I have even worse a memory of them as I do of P5R) The posters during the kaneshiro arc / the calling cards. He always has access to his phone and we don’t see him do it so this head canon is surprisingly canon complaint ^^;

—————————————————————————————————

Another thing that I find super interesting with Ryuji's character is his relationship to and narrative surrounding violence. There is ofcourse what happened with kamoshida/his dad but also what he does with the PT/ex-track mates and how he gets treated by them. When Ryuji stands up to Komashida he gets his legs broken as “punishment” , when he comes back after the explosion at shidos palace he gets beaten up as a “punishment” and its possible that when he and his mum where living with his dad he might have framed his physical abuse as a “punishment.” So it telling that during his confidant he offers himself up to get beat up as a punishment for what happened to the team even though it wasn’t his fault.

He seems to conflate violence/physical consequences with punishment/repentance for lack of a better words. Which makes his tendency to self sacrifice (put a pin here too) even more interesting because if he has internalised this idea that he needs to compensate for failing by being hurt then his self sacrificing tendencies and even his status has a physical party member one who drains their health points (HP) to attack becomes more complex considering this.

As well as conflating physical punishment and making up for past actions it seems he has at least in my reading internalised that things are more often than not his fault. When his legs are broken it’s his fault for not taking the abuse again when the team gets disbanded it’s his fault for not taking the abuse. The PT just assumes he’s wrong and stupid like in Kaneshiro's palace and the school just assumes he’s stupid/trouble/not worth the time which just feeds this toxic mindset.

And I think it's this dichotomy that's at the core of my reading of his character. This feeling of injustice but also like he deserves it and being hurt by the people who are and are supposed to protect you ie parents , teachers friends and the resulting lack of self worth and feeling like he has to make up for existing/mistakes that aren’t his fault.—————————————————————————————————Digging more into the self sacrificing I’m pretty sure I remember something about Ryuji and him having a higher chance or a skill or something that means he’s more likely to take hits for other party members but even if my brain just made that up we still see him do lots of self sacrifice to the detriment of his life/health. He jumps in front of a car in the Kaneshiro arc , he does the boat sacrifice in Shido’s palace , jumps in in the 3rd semester , I think theres a moment at the start of P5T and is the one to touch almost all the trauma doors in Strikers.

This all ties into what I said earlier about his relationship with violence but also with how the PT treats him. Ryuji is belittled , insulted , devalued , seen as lesser in comparison to other characters especially Makoto and Ann.

Morgana and sometimes other party members call him stupid and even when other thieves don’t join in they are still complicit. Because of this I believe he has internalise this idea he has to compensate for existing essentially and just like how he feels he has to compensate for his mum having to take care of him alone by getting into a good university with track just like how he feels he has to compensate by being part of the PT.

Conversely I also think he is self sacrifices because he cares about the PT so much! That's his community! The people he feels a kinship with , those are his guys, his friends! :D The people who he feels like he understands and who can understand him on a deeper level.

(To get side tracked quickly I think that's why he hates Akechi so much. He see’s Akechi as a threat to that family, that community , that acceptance and validation he sees him as an insider as just like one of those rotten adults criticizing them but then after he learns about him he’s not longer an insider he’s a victim of the system like them and that's why his opinion flips so quickly. Akechi much like the phantom thieves to the world was a symbol to Ryuji and once he became a person and no longer a symbol / saw how he was just like the PT he cared about him.)

Ryuji can be inconsiderate and rude but he cares much about the PT and I’m glad that this is an aspect of him that receives a lot of fandom focus from what I’ve seen. It's also one of the big reasons I love him so much as a character is because he cares! —————————————————————————————————I feel like Ryuji’s character is driven by yes a sense of belonging / anger at the world but also a deep sense of guilt: over what happened with the track team , overburdening his mum or even just expressing himself/his ideas sometimes. Ryuji wants validation that's why he gets so caught up in the PT’s fame he wants to know he’s doing the right thing he wants to help people like him and his friends.

When you grow up in an abusive environment to over simplify you tend to fall into thinking either

You must be doing something wrong because why would a parent , someone who is supposed to care about you hurt you if there wasn’t something wrong with you.

You must be right and your parent is in wrong because why would a parent someone who is supposed to care about you hurt you if there wasn’t something wrong with them

You either cling to the certainty that your parents must be right or the certainty you must be wrong. (again oversimplification due to the scope of the post) and I think Ryuji has internalized both these ideas and applies them to school and the PT.

—————————————————————————————————

I’ve talked about it a bit in the prior paragraphs but now I really want to dig into the narrative implications of the jokes constantly made at Ryuji’s expense. Ryuji is a bit of a punching bag for the narrative…quite literally. As much as I despise these scenes and feel like they go against the game's narrative , tone and themes with the PT just repeating the same toxic mentalities of the systems that oppressed them, the implications of the jokes do actually play off some other stuff in interesting ways.

There is this idea throughout the game (and throughout the post I did not expect to harp on about this so much :’] sorry if it's becoming tiresome...) that Ryuji is the “dumb one”

With in the narrative we see him called call stupid constantly , put in embarrassing situations at his own expense , almost get the PT exposed and such but even beyond the dialogue these ideas are even somewhat reinfected by game play. If you have Ryuji in your party up until Futaba’s palace your going to hear a lot of Morgana complaining about Ryuji just from the fact he’ll inevitability he is going to miss hits. The player is often given the choice to gang up on Ryuji/throw him under the bus the first example that comes to mind is when you can tell Akechi Ryuji and only Ryuji is a phantom thief (though there are times where you can stand up for him they are less often) so even the game play reinforces this tired joke.

(Another aside I think Morgana calls Ryuji pathetic and such to compensate for his own self worth issues. He need to re-affirm that he is important and needed and if he’s better then Ryuji then he can feel good about himself/important and he doesn’t actually stop to think how his words could effect Ryuji because to him its not about Ryuji being dumb its about him being important. So when Ryuji calls Morgana useless (I think as abit of a jab back at morgana) it really gets to morgana because of the reversal of power dynamics now ryuji is the one calling him useless so he can’t use Ryuji to re-affirm himself)

Ryuji’s experience is devalued in comparison with others, specifically Ann. Ann’s sexual assault plot is treated with more dignity , seriousness and weight as it should be. When Ann gets harassed it's an issue the other PT and the narrative care about and treat with the seriousness and respect be fitting the situation (uh mostly….Ann’s outfit and the jokes at the expensive of her due to it do contradict the more seriousness the issue otherwise has) but when ryuji is at the very least kidnapped and harassed during the Kanoshiro arc it is just a joke and the PT get made at him for being late when was literally kidnapped and Ren/Morgana did nothing?!

Another example is when he sacrifices himself on in shido’s places his experience of almost dying is devalued in comparison to the other PT’s pain over thinking they lost him.

The Shinjuku scene specifically makes me really angry that anyone ever thought it was a good idea but also that the PT’s just don’t care that their friend was kidnapped by two older men they don’t know?!

A problem I have with both p5 and p4 in general is how they want to have their cake and eat it too tonally.

They want to have the grounded narrative of physical abuse with Ryuji but want to turn around and do physical slapstick. They want to have a grounded narrative about predatory behaviour and turn around have a joke about sexual assault (and that’s not even getting into the homophobic and sexist undertones of the Shinjuku scene)

I also mentioned Mikoto earlier and how establishing her as smart kinda came at the expense of Ryuji. With lines like when morgana says Mikoto is so smart! not like Ryuji but the thing is I really don’t think Ryuji is dumb? He’s just behind in school/internalised the fact that he is. He shows he is actually pretty introspective/emotionally intelligent when he calls up Ren towards the end of the game , during the whole Akechi situation and he contributes to the planning of the PT operations more then people give him credit for. To bring back a prior example we see with the bank puzzle mentioned earlier he was on the right track not quite there but close.

—————————————————————————————————Talking more about personal headcanons I like to headcanon that Ryuji’s mum saw being in a relationship as necessary and that's part of the reason she stayed she stayed in an abusive relationship for so long on top of social pressure the difficulty and shame associated with divorce ect and I like to think that Ryuji picked up this idea that he needs a partner/warped perception of relationships from her as well as society at large because to me at least it would make sense and I think provides more nuance to their relationship. Though I don’t have any specific scene or evidence to support this.

Both Ryuji and his mum want to help each other. So she works and worked really hard at her job and he wants to help her so he worked really hard at track. They both want to protect the other so I think they lie about things. Ryuij’s mum about the toll of the abuse / working and Ryuji about the phantom thieves and some other struggles.

Ryuji says alot of not so great things about women and this and the aforementioned head canon isn’t to justify and say its okay but his interest in girls comes off to me as performative? YEs SincE ITs JuST Us DuDE bRo GuYs LeTS TaLk ABoUT girls! thats what GUYS take about right?

I think he thinks whether that be because of his mum , someone else or just society in general that this is how he is supposed to act/this is how masculinity works and maybe this is just me but this feels like such a com-het response.

————————————————————————————————— aghghghg I haven’t really managed to articulate my thoughts well but hopefully it’s at least somewhat coherent ^^; theres a couple things I didn’t get to just because I don’t remember enough of the games to provide adequate evidence for my points but to sum what I did write up my thoughts I think Ryuji wears a mask in his own way this isn’t to say he isn’t a extremely honest , outspoken and genuine person just that I think he’s learnt to internalised he’s stupid/wrong and to perform masculinity/that things do bother him as much as they do ect and that the PT both provide him with the environment and support he needs but re-enforce some toxic mentalities. He was done a dirty by the narrative by constantly being made into just comic relief but somehow it all loops back around to being interesting.

#THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR OPPORTUNITY TO RAMBLE ON ABOUT THE BOY :D #TYSM!

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blind-dates-fest · 10 months ago

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hello! I am so excited for blind dates soon! in the meantime, I noticed one thing in your introduction to this event that stood out to me: "establishes them as a person worth paying attention to."

what does it mean to make a character thats worth paying attention to and what are some ways to do that in your fic?

Well, that is the million dollar question, isn't it?

I've been using that phrase to describe what Blind Dates is about for a while now, and to me it's very obvious, but it's worth taking some time with!

When I think about the fics I wrote when I was just starting out as a little baby writer, I know that my approach was often:

"Here, I'm going to dump a lot of physical details about this person RIGHT HERE in the first paragraph so that you are RIGHT THERE WITH ME about what this person looks like and that their favorite color is BLUE and they LOVE CHOCOLATE and THEN I'm going to have them start a conversation with the character that I like because I am EXCITED about this and I am IN A HURRY."

(The classic example of this is, of course, My Immortal, and the reason that people are still trying to figure out whether that fic was a pastiche or not is because that's how a lot of Baby's First OC fic got written.)

And this works, to a certain extent, to get you to start writing. But that's not necessarily the best way to get people to continue reading. It assumes that everyone reading is going to care in exactly the same way you do. Good characters take time - you can put them in a scene and let the scene show who they are, and what they're about, give them time to settle in.

And I think the root of that phrase is really: OCs are cheap, figuratively speaking - why should I spend my precious time as a reader with yours?

When I think about characters that I've written that people seem to like more, or characters that I've read and really enjoyed, they're like icebergs - I only get or give a small part of them and the rest of the story becomes about discovering who they are as people. Physical description matters less than action.

I often think about Billy Collins' poem "Introduction to Poetry" when I think about new characters -

I say drop a mouse into a poem and watch him probe his way out,

or walk inside the poem’s room and feel the walls for a light switch.

And that first approach, that info-dump, be-with-me-right-now-or-else approach, is how Collins sees his poetry students at the end of the poem:

But all they want to do is tie the poem to a chair with rope and torture a confession out of it.

They begin beating it with a hose to find out what it really means.

There's no room for ambiguity or discovery there, and because of that, there's no joy in going on the journey with that author.

This takes practice, and it's hard. And the practice part is why this fest exists!

-Mod Merc

#Kind Anonymous Friend #notes from the mod #frequently asked questions

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twistedtummies2 · 1 year ago

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Ranking Twisted Wonderland - Part 1

In August of 2020, I joined Tumblr for the first time. That same year, I posted a very early version of a ranking/countdown of my favorite characters from Twisted Wonderland: a game that has basically come to define my page. I write about a lot of things on here, but Twisted Wonderland is my “flagship fandom,” as it were.

I have revisited this idea of ranking my favorites from the game’s main cast of twenty-two students from Night Raven College a couple times since…but I was never happy with any of those attempts. I decided that, to celebrate my 3rd year anniversary here on Tumblr, and just as many years in love with the game, to do something special and try to rectify this issue: a comprehensive, two-part countdown/ranking of ALL those twenty-two characters, listing them from my least favorite to my most favorite, and - furthermore - explaining WHY they had they place they did and what I loved about each character. That, dear readers, is what you are looking at now: the first part of that ranking. (The second part will be posted tomorrow.) Each half will cover eleven options; this first half will cover choices 22 through 12; tomorrow will follow the top eleven. I based my decisions on a number of things. One, obviously, is just personal bias, and that’s naturally something one simply has no control over: sometimes you’ll like certain characters more than others “just because,” and one just has to deal with that fact. The remaining factors, however, are slightly more technical: for example, how excited do I get when Cards featuring the characters come up? Are they ones I always go for, or ones I always skip? Also, in my writing, how much do I like playing with that character, or how much do I want to play with them? For those who know my page, I’m specifically talking non-kinks there…although I should add that I will be taking kinks into account. That sort of just gets lumped into “personal bias.” On one final note there, this is a list of my favorite CHARACTERS, not my favorite CRUSHES: for me, personally, there is a difference. This was not easy to make, and there are multiple characters here where I honestly wish I could rank them higher, or where it’s all a matter of my mood (like, some days I like them more than others, if that makes sense). The fact is that I genuinely and truthfully love ALL of these lads; there really are no bad characters in the entire bunch, at least in my humble opinion. Also, again, I’m specifically talking the 22 “Main Students,” so no side characters, no staff members, and certainly no Grim. With that said, let’s begin. Here is the start of my rankings of the central cast for Twisted Wonderland: From “Least Good” to Best!

22. Cater Diamond.

Cater is a fun character with a lot of energy, who represents a common dichotomy that runs through most of the characters in this cast. At first, he seems like a typical social media junkie: obsessed with self-image, overly cheerful, practically speaking a language made up of hashtags, and seemingly ready to take a selfie with everyone and everything in breathing distance. However, underneath this, there are other sides to Cater he seems to try and keep hidden: he has a rather sneaky side to him, and there’s also hints of something terribly sad beneath his mask of smiling enthusiasm. At times I think that superficial side gets a bit annoying, which may or may not be the point…but it’s never enough to make me hate him. Unfortunately, it is enough to make him place at the bottom of the ranks.

21. Silver.

Silver ranks low because he’s sort of a cypher to me. There’s a sort of mysterious quality to the character, perhaps unintentional, as I find him to be one of the hardest characters to fully get a grasp on in a lot of ways. It’s telling that he is the only major character in the cast (minus Grim) whose last name is never given; he’s simply known as “Silver.” However, again, this doesn’t make him a character I dislike: for one thing, I enjoy that sense of mystery, because it feels like - with what we DO know about the guy - there’s a lot of interesting things waiting to be discovered still. He’s also one of the more unique characters in the cast, since he’s one of only two who is based not on a Disney Villain, but on a Disney Hero: the character is inspired by Princess Aurora herself, with a dash of Prince Philip thrown in, which makes him all the more intriguing when you realize his master (and adoptive big brother, by all accounts), Malleus, is based on the nemesis of those characters. I’m curious to see how that fact plays into the story; at the moment, Chapter 7 is not available in English, and I’m trying to avoid spoilers as much as I can. I know that Silver gets a big boost as a character due to the events of that chapter, but since I haven’t seen it yet…right now, he gets lower points. I am 90% sure that, when I see that Chapter, this fact will change and he will be given much higher placement. As it stands…this is where he sits.

20. Sebek Zigvolt.

Poor Sebek. I actually want to like this guy more than I do, but no matter how hard I try, I just don’t. Sebek definitely has his appealing qualities, and he’s probably one of the funniest characters in the game. It’s rare that scenes with Sebek don’t leave me snickering and rolling my eyes with amusement at his over-boisterous, Malleus-obsessed personality. His ego is a funny thing, and there’s a lot of humor that comes from seeing his pomposity punctured. However, at times those same qualities, much like with Cater, can be a bit grating. It was actually hard to choose between him and Silver, as far as which of the two I liked most. I ultimately decided to put Sebek over Silver simply because I think he’s a bit easier to understand and get into the head of.

19. Trey Clover.

The great paradox with Trey is that what I like about him is also what lands him so low in the ranks. Trey is the single most level-headed character at NRC. He’s sort of an encouraging big brother figure, and his more mild-mannered, practical personality makes him a great contrast to Riddle, as well as many of the other characters in the game. While he’s ostensibly inspired by one of the Card Guards, he actually seems to be based largely on the King of Hearts: a humbler figure than his housewarden, but with his own sneaky side, a trait he shares with Cater. However, the problem with Trey’s generally more “normal” personality is that, by being a character who, by design, tends to fade into the background a bit…he does exactly that, especially when you consider all the wild and colorful characters who surround him. As a result, I can’t really rank him any higher than this.

18. Rook Hunt.

Rook is one of the most oddball characters in the game…and as you can imagine, that’s saying quite a lot. He’s also probably one of the creepiest. He’s inspired by the Huntsman from “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,” but you probably wouldn’t guess it at first glance. He arguably changes the most from his source material: Rook is a fashionable Frenchman with a flamboyant personality. He’s a poet and a seeker of things of beauty, with more romance in his heart than a dozen Harlequin novels. He’s also seemingly fearless, which is part of what makes him occasionally unsettling: you can snarl at him, threaten him with all sorts of horrible forms of destruction, show off muscles and claw and fangs…and he just reacts with some over-the-top variation of, “That’s magnificent! Show me more!” But perhaps the thing that makes Rook truly unnerving is that he seems to adhere to the logic of “The Most Dangerous Game.” Rook is OBSESSED with hunting; he uses it as an analogy for almost everything he does, and he seems to treat just about everyone he finds interesting like a hunter stalking their prey. He has many secrets, and a lot of them are to things we don’t WANT the answers to. He’s equal parts fun and frightening, and I’ve come to like him more over time (something that can be said for a lot of characters in the game), but he still ranks fairly low in my books. He’s just not a character I’m that interested in writing for.

17. Ortho Shroud.

It’s about this time in the ranking that I start to feel REALLY bad about placing some characters particularly low. As I said before, I love all of these lads, but I naturally like some more than others. Ortho is unique among the cast just due to the simple premise of his entire existence: he’s an android who has been programmed to behave like the little brother of Idia Shroud (the Hades character of the game). This means he’s not only the youngest character of the cast - an eternal child who presumably never grows any older (Peter Pan sympathizes) - but he’s also the only one of the crew who isn’t an organic being of any kind. Ortho is another example of the dichotomy of darkness and light that most of these characters have: on the one hand, he’s an adorable little sweetheart who just wants his big brother to be happy and have more friends to play with. He’s inquisitive, enthusiastic, and somehow manages to be innocent while literally being a walking Internet browser at the same time. On the other hand, Ortho is armed to the teeth with weapons of mass destruction and all kinds of crazy gizmos and gadgets, which can lead to some…alarming situations, since he doesn’t always emotionally process issues properly. He seriously sees no issue with blowing annoying people to smithereens. Equally split between scary and sweet, Ortho is the most adorable little murder machine you could ever meet.

16. Lilia Vanrouge.

Much like Epel, Lilia is someone whose outer appearance - a seemingly youthful, self-admittedly adorable, and rather spritely young lad - is the polar opposite of who he really is deep down.The difference is in how that is expressed. Beneath his Puckish exterior, Lilia is a wise old man…who if you will pardon my French, gives nary the slightest of f#cks. He’s an ancient warrior, older than ANYONE at Night Raven, who comes to the school for purposes of his own. He’s forgotten more about history, human and fairy alike, than any textbook author will ever know. He’s practically a father figure to both Malleus and Silver, and - just like Epel - he knows how to use his appearance to his advantage. He lures people in with his slight looks and eccentric personality, or uses them to throw people off the scent, before promptly showing them just how wicked he can really be. He reminds me a lot of characters like Sans from “Undertale” or the Doctor from “Doctor Who”: to paraphrase the latter show, Lilia has the demeanor of a prattling jackanapes…but inside, it’s a whole other story. He’s one of Night Raven’s fascinating characters, as a result, but I simply enjoy others a lot more.

15. Epel Felmier.

Speaking of characters who can be scary and sweet, Epel is the definition of that classic meme, “Looks like a cinnamon roll, could actually kill you.” Well…maybe not KILL, but certainly beat the tar out of your wagon. Epel, at first glance, is an effeminate, childlike lad with big baby eyes and a graceful physique. This is the total opposite of who he is inside: Epel is a country boy, born and bred, who’s used to rough labor and a rugged lifestyle. He has a thick Southern dialect, loves action and fast vehicles, and can whoop your arse in about three seconds flat if you let him. Epel’s whole story arc in the game, in fact, is learning how to balance his inner fire with the doll-like appearance of his face and form…sometimes a bit against his will. He wants so badly to be seen as a Manly Man of Manly Man Manness, but he’s always finding people who underestimate him based on his girlish demeanor, or who try to teach him to be more refined and reserved than he truly is under the surface. He’s the living embodiment of the Poison Apple: a tempting, beautiful, delicate-looking thing with a hard, thick, juicy, and downright dangerous undercurrent. The result is honestly pretty funny, as well as interesting.

14. Idia Shroud.

Like I mentioned earlier, Idia is the character based on Hades in this game. This flame-haired computer genius is probably one of the most interesting twists on their respective source you’ll find in “Twisted Wonderland.” When people think of Disney’s Hades, they think of a confident, fast-talking, Mephistophelean figure with a smarmy attitude and a wry sense of humor, whose attempts to be smooth and slick are contrasted by a raging inferno of a temper. Idia is interesting in that he’s actually none of these things…or, at least, not at first glance. Idia is a reclusive, anti-social misfit who literally is afraid of people EXISTING anywhere NEAR him. He prefers to stay shut in his lair playing video games and watching anime or old horror movies than to be anywhere close to another living being, for fear that he’ll BREATHE wrong around them. (No, that is not an exaggeration.) Online, however, Idia actually shows another side to his personality, which is much closer to Hades, and he can be very passive-aggressive or downright mean-spirited when he feels he has some security to be. Idia appeals on two different levels, as a result: he’s one of the most sympathetic and at times downright cute characters in the game, but his nasty side - where his inspiration really shows - is just as entertaining, especially in the unique way it’s presented.

13. Vil Schoenheit.

Vil is another case of a character I’ve come to enjoy and understand more as time has gone on. In fact, when I look back on older stories I wrote featuring Vil, I sort of cringe because I feel like, when I wrote those, he was one character I didn’t really understand well enough to properly handle. Nowadays, I think I’d do a few things differently…but I digress. Vil is based on the Evil Queen, and he lives up to his predecessor well. He is vain, without question, but it isn’t a vanity usually played up for comedy: just like the Queen, Vil is cold and authoritative, not easily fazed by fear or agitated worry. He keeps a stiff upper lip, presenting himself with poise and elegance that virtually no one at Night Raven can surpass. Even when he is overcome with emotion, he tries to rein it all in. All of this is a well-sculpted mask to hide his personal insecurities and professional stresses. Vil is one of the few major characters in the cast with a big job to do outside of the school: he’s a CELEBRITY, and a multi-talented one, at that. He’s a skilled actor, singer, dancer, model, photographer, costume and makeup designer, beautician, AND director of both film and theatre. Top it off with martial arts skills, a talent for poisons and potion making, and the fact he somehow juggles all of that ON TOP of trying to attend a prestigious college and keep his grades in the upper ranks…and I think it’s fair to say Vil is the definition of an absolute unit. But despite all his success and all his accomplishments, hiding under his painted lips and flowing robes, Vil has personal esteem issues he tries to keep tucked out of sight. He’s just as paradoxical and fascinating as his source material, and a wonderful reinvention of the Evil Queen in his own right.

12. Ace Trappola.

It was difficult to decide who would rank higher/lower between Ace and Deuce. These two are the MC’s best friends in the game, and as such, they’re pretty prominent figures throughout the entire run. They have some part to play, to varying degrees of size, in every chapter of the Main Story, and they appear quite frequently in the various Events that branch off of the same. Because we spend so much time with them, we know more about them than a lot of other characters, and they often help to act as voices of advice (sometimes good, sometimes bad) for the player. Ace lost the battle, but do not misconstrue that to mean I dislike him. Ace is a cunning trickster who is skilled in sleight-of-hand magic tricks, and is an expert card player. In direct contrast, however, Ace is also a person who lacks what might be called a “shut up filter.” He always speaks his mind, without hesitation or holding back, very rarely trying to sugarcoat or hide anything. Even when he tries to be a bit more crafty and weasel his way through things, he usually gets caught. You might say that Ace is a person who starts fights, while Deuce is a person who simply chooses to try and finish them.

PART TWO: TBA

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