#i just found it super weird??
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Is it a new thing to have people bookmark things on AO3 just to add comments insulting the work itself? Just had someone bookmark one of mine that said "Cute until the confession."
I thought bookmarking was for, oh I dunno, favoriting fics???
((Their bookmarks are public and they're all super critical - saying characters are OOC, readers are insufferable, 'skip chapter 7 cause it sucks LOL but everything else is ok!', 'too long/too short,' etc.))
#i just found it super weird??#like why bookmark it if you didn't like it#especially if it's public#i won't lie - it stung a bit#cause i was really proud of that confession lol#☆.rei chats
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#cradily#ohhh i had some good angles for this one. but this one got all the votes but two#long#never thought i'd be givin that title to anything but snakes but here i am givin' it to fish and this thing#which is NOT a flower. i was told. last time 'round#though someone said “heartless lookin' ass” which i wholeheartedly agree with#i still need to finish like. all of kingdom hearts#my hope is to play through Every single kingdom hearts game. all of them. in order#so far i've done kingdom hearts and chain of memories. next up on my list is 358/2 days#i'm rather passionate about the concept of doing this but. just haven't gotten around to it. i've been playing other games#like i finished nier automata at the beginning of this year. liked that and decided to check out nier replicant#liked that game even more. and then went. wow. i want to play more nier games#found out the only other nier game‚ nier reincarnation#is a fucking. mobile game?? i guess?? and i was like ok what the fuck ever#and now i'm done with nier and i've moved onto red dead redemption 2. which is another one of those like#super duper popular games i've managed to learn nothing about#back here two weeks ago when i'm writing these tags i've only put like. two hours into it. i just barely got up to the new camp place#horseshoe whatever. i unlocked shaving. that bit#weird game for sure. especially coming right off the back of fucking. nier replicant#which is a game with talking books and magic spells and anime boys and air combos#to. red dead redemption 2. a video game about. a very slow-moving white guy who has to do a 5-second animation to loot a corpse#interesting switch but i'm here for it so far. i can definitely tell rdr2 is gonna be a sloooooow burn#problem is if i don't finish it by the time monster hunter wilds comes out#it's getting absolutely dropped#which. is probably gonna happen. sorry rdr2#this is not about pokémon. check it out??? cradily???
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they always sleep in the weirdest way possible. right in the middle of the floor?? the wooden floor???
#this filler arc was wild#i just recently found out that it was based on the plot of a playstation game??#shoutout to the youtube video 'the weird world of one piece games' by eruptionfang it's a super interesting watch#filler#robin#chopper#luffy#usopp#sanji
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Hey guys... So like. Did we know that before Thom Pike was a tour manager, he was a drummer in a band (Falling With Style) with 3/4 guys who would later become Holding Absence? Is this common knowledge, or have I stumbled upon gold?
I knew about Sam Hallett being in Blood Youth before working as a tech, and Thom working with them on tour, and I also did know Thom and the HA guys went way back*. But this I didn't know!! How cool!!
* Adamross and the rest of Glass Heart was also already working with him at this time btw. The connections are connecting.
Referring back to that recent post from @sleepanonymous, I am now wondering if George Lever also produced their stuff from before, given he has worked on both early Holding Absence and Sleep Token, and if that's how they all met 👀
(more ramblings bellow the cut, nothing interesting just me being insane. also i just think it's cool how all of these bands and people are connected. nothing more)
So. Timeline of events that I know of:
2015 - Falling With Style ends
2016 - Thom is now a Tour Guy ; Sleep Token and Holding Absence are born ; George Lever is producing for both bands
(and then there's that Carl Bown/B4MV thing somewhere around here)
2018 - Thom has been working as Tour Manager for Holding Absence and Blood Youth ; Adam and the (would-be) Glasses are part of his crew ; Sleep Token is touring with HA and Loathe (also G. Lever prod.) as an opening band ; enter Espera (🥹🥰💕😚💘🤭 this has nothing to with the post but I just like to think about them)
2019 - Thom is officially managing ST (probably 2018 too? idk about before) ; Glass Heart is born (again not entirely relevant but I stay on my GH propaganda always. Adam say thank you baby 💎🩵)
Then we have those collabs etc etc ; Sam leaves the band and becomes a Tech guy ; FTRB ; George stops producing (🥺🥲) ; enter Carl Bown ; ENTERS COOL MF VESSEL THE FOURTH (our ivy)
January 2023 - Sam Hallett joins the fold (🥹💙) ; the first singles of TMBE are released ; World Domination etc etc
#i came across this because i was looking for a specific photo and kinda went on an Instagram rabbit-hole#also this may be super not interesting to anyone but me but i only recently found out Micheal McGough filled in for HA for a while#even more unrelated but he just left being as an ocean and i'm emosh#also! i'm pretty sure one of the early 2017? 18? tours Thom worked on was in support of B4MV so that's also a thing?? i gues ???#to be fair. the uk rock/metal scene seems SUPER close. and given like half of these are Welsh / Welsh-based that's even a smaller circle#idk i'm literally just rambling here don't mind me too much??#(i swear i will get into HA one of these days. just don't have the patience to hear NEW new music rn)#sleep token#(technically)#if anyone is weird (derogatory) on this post i will wet your socks (turn off reblogs)
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I don't think the Technocyte Coda "boys" are the original On-Lyne boys. I think the originals are long dead and these things are cloned from leftover DNA like hairbrushes and things like that (like one of Amir's datamined emails mentions in the mall). We know the Orokin like trying to do longevity experiments and cloning experiments later on in the timeline and if Gregory V is Alad V's ancestor, the motivations would certainly line up.
#this is what anon is talking about btw for the technocyte coda lore and the on-lyne boys and yeah i completely agree with them#this fully fits the motives and themes of the orokin empire so we seem to be seeing it start to creep it's way into the timeline#perhaps even the hollvania government were the ones who infected the area with techrot AKA the infested to begin with#maybe they had pre-orokin orokin or corpus investors who sponsored this whole thing as a sort of experiment too#let's just be glad Alad isn't as creepy about presumably young women as his ancient ancestor Gregory#he's creepy about warframes instead! xD#this is found in the Höllvania mall btw these emails that Amir got his hands on through hacking some servers or something#a government doing weird drug experiments on people who are on their land? hmmm where have we seen that before? :) hmm indeed#but yeah this whole backplot reeks of orokin involvement and would parallel Alad being super interested in the warframes#once again proving that yes salad v is indeed orokin as Hunhow had stated; it's probably the V family name tbh#wait.... what if the V family were some of the founders of the orokin empire#hmmm lots of food for thought and theory potential here to work with i really hope we see more of the concrete timeline in-universe#mod rose#warframe confession#warframe 1999#warframe#gregory v#alad v#on-lyne#technocyte coda#yknow whatever a concrete timeline means in warframe's eternalism filled universe where things are changing all the time
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Lucid Dreamer (2/2)
part 1
Gepard stalls almost a week before he finally goes out to the safehouse, and it takes him a couple days to find it because Sampo didn't have the time left to be wasn't super specific about the location. But he does find it.
It's pretty bare bones, really. Gepard knows that was probably to be expected, but… It feels crushing, when he realizes there are so few personal things here. It's nothing specific to Sampo. Just some food, some medical supplies. A cot and a heater and a lot of mismatched blankets. Nothing to remember someone by.
But he does find the letters, in a metal box stashed away under the bed.
There are two for him. Three for Natasha, and two for Seele. One for Hook, one for Serval, one for Pela, one for Bronya.
Bronya's is mostly business. They knew each other from the whole Stellaron incident, but not much beyond that, and the incoming catastrophe is a more pressing matter. Seele's is actually two copies of the same letter, and Gepard realizes why when Seele is so angry she rips the first one up without reading it. He gives her the copy a couple days later, and she slinks off without a word.
Pela seems completely normal after hers is delivered, but Gepard knows better than to trust that. The next day, he finds her asleep in bed with Serval, bottles abandoned on the floor, both their eye makeup smeared and running and Pela's glasses horribly smudged and crooked on her face. Serval doesn't read hers in front of him, but she's clingy with Gepard, Pela, and Lynx for quite a while after. She throws herself into her work a lot. She insists the heater from the safehouse is busted and she needs to keep it. It's too dangerous for use by someone who's not an engineer. Might burn their house down or something. Gepard doesn't argue.
Hook's letter is short, with easy to read words. The rest of it is actually a treasure map, and she and the moles spend the next several days running through the Underground, finding hidden candy and toys. Hook asks them when Sampo is coming back, because one of the marbles she found from his map looks green, just like his eyes, and she wants to give it to him. Natasha shoos Gepard out of the clinic before he can even begin to think of an answer.
Natasha refuses to let him see what's in her letters, which ok, fine, he'll respect that. He hears from Bronya who heard from Seele who heard from Natasha herself though that one of the letters was a map and the other a catalogue, with all of Sampo's hidden "warehouses." Gepard promptly marches himself back out to the frontlines, where he can turn a blind eye. If a ton of stolen goods suddenly enters the black market, and if the orphanage and the clinic suddenly have new supplies, well, technically that's none of his business.
Gepard goes to bed, curls up under mismatched blankets and closes his eyes.
He doesn't dream.
One of Gepard's letters was also business, like Bronya's and Natasha's. He and Bronya follow everything meticulously, down to the letter, because there has to be some good to get out of all this, there has to be. Gepard can't let it all be for nothing, it would bury him.
And so the catastrophe passes. Not without casualties, and not without a lot of damage and destruction. But Belobog survives.
And after that, time just kind of…goes on. Gepard has been a part of the Silvermanes since he was old enough to enlist. The Fragmentum had gotten so much worse in the years before Welt sealed the Stellaron. He knows the statistics, it is literally his and Pela's jobs to keep track. He knows when he sees a face everyday in the camps and then it's suddenly gone. He's not unfamiliar with things like grief and loss.
He still catches himself checking the trashcans and the supply crates and soldiers' footprints sometimes, though.
But there comes a night where Gepard goes to bed, holding the mismatched blankets to his face, and he dreams. And it's strange, it's off, it sticks with him. Sampo doesn't look the same. He's thinner. His muscles have atrophied. He looks like how Gepard has seen soldiers after months in the hospital.
The most unsettling difference is there's a scar across the left side of his head, Gepard can see it over his ear, peeking out past his hairline, carving towards his cheek. Sampo is always careful about his face. Gepard once saw him dodge a Fragmentum monster and literally let it cut across his neck just to keep his face clear. He wouldn't let that happen for nothing.
Their actions in the dream itself aren't new. Sampo seems tired, run down and worn out, but he announces his presence with aplomb by lobbing a bunch of smoke bombs off the rooftops and sending his soldiers scrambling. Same shit, different day.
The new part is what he says when Gepard chases him out to the edges of the camp, tackles him into the snow. Gepard pins him to the frozen ground to detain him and Sampo doesn't even fight it, just looks up at him like he's seeing sunrise for the first time in months.
"I'll be home in one week."
#sampard#gepo#hsr gepard#hsr sampo#gepard landau#sampo koski#hsr natasha#pelageya sergeyevna#serval landau#bronya rand#hsr seele#hsr hook#honkai star rail#my fics#lucid dreamer#I was initially just going to let Sampo stay dead because I love that kind of thing#but I ended up liking this ending so I guess I'll let it stay haha#I love thinking about Sampo's relationships with the rest of the cast and their reactions to all this#he was a founding member of Mechanical Fever. he still plays shows with Pela and Serval.#Pela is constantly giving him second chances like in the museum event and letting him volunteer with the Silvermanes.#And Serval could say SO much about him but all she says is 'hah that guy' and mentions Gepard is going to catch him someday.#I need the three of them to be a weird trio of buddies fdksaljfdkl#Sampo is seen with Seele plenty and he's with Natasha so much that Hook literally thought he was horribly ill for a long time.#I love them having some kind of odd comraderie#and oh my god I am the biggest Hook & Sampo stan ever they're so so cute and sweet and precious and WAH#so I think Sampo would want to be prepared for just in case he didn't make it back. that he would have a contingency plan for everything.#and he would miss these people and this city enough to show up in their dreams one last time.#but I'd like to think he saved Gepard for last#and it is not just because he has a crush or any kind of romantic feelings for him. There's more to it than that.#(If I'm being super honest I don't even really ship them with romance involved. I have a hard time picturing them like that.)
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I think I yassified him a lil too much(also ignore my artstyle changing all the time lmao)
#also I just found out my wacom and my screen have a huge color difference#also the color of my phone#so if the colors look a bit weird is bc of that#it looked fine in my wacom but then on my screen and phone it was super desaturated???#idk#my art#stardew valley elliott#stardew elliott#sdv elliott#elliott stardew valley#sdv fanart
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still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)
#alek insanity#not gonna main tag this but prepare for a tiny rant#home is actually really good zane characterization and its super cool to me how it holds up to this day#s1 characterization is very specific to me because the behaviors displayed by the ninja there (mostly) isnt bc thats how they really are but#its due to societal pressure. cole originally being more 'stone faced tough guy' -> 'down to earth' -> 'really sensible easy to talk to guy'#is because hes always been a sensitive guy... but he felt he couldnt express that true version of himself. thats the whole thing behind his#true potential. jay going from s1 -> s6 -> now is less of societal pressure and more teenager figuring himself out but it still applies. ish#seeing how much the ninja have changed or grown from then to now is amazing because back then they all wore masks. they didnt know each#other all that well. but theyve gained that comfortability with each other and also have grown and matured as people#some seasons / eps characterization for certain people im not a fan of (lloyds random misogyny arc in s13) but i mean the overall trend here#and then there is zane. zane in home was pretty dead on to how he behaves now (at least... when it comes to his faults?) and i dont want to#say people skim over that but i am the sf proclaimed n1 s1e2 fan and overthink every scene. zane's early characterization is some of my fav#for him period. he also goes through a ton of traumatic stuff and a ton of bad writing bouts but why he acts so 'weird' or 'distant' has#always been a thread sewn in. he changed so much he stayed the same in a way... if that makes sense. -> ohhh the ninja get mail and he#doesnt? oh he has no family? he quite literally walks away from that situation. oh the ninja are yelling in his face and asking whats wrong#with him? he literally walks away from that situation. he says its to follow the falcon but seeing how he apologized to them by not only#baking a ton of pies (cough... the food fight is what led to him leaving at first) but he also found them a whole entire new house.#zane is unable to truly value what he does for others. insert him in s11 saying he 'tried' to fufill his goal of protecting others.#everything he has ever done still isnt good enough. then the ninja tried to apologize and he didnt really... let them.#that one post about characters putting on facades and that facade being how people really see them. even in fandom. thats zane to me#the guy who lies about being upset and avoids his problems ran away after being yelled at? and he said he wasnt really mad? that is a lie!!#him being a ~360 when it comes to his character development is neat to me because he never hid behind a mask in the same way the others did#cole wanting to seem tough vs being really soft? kai wanting approval so bad he starts being selfish? kai isnt selfish usually!#he is self centered but that is a whole different thing. just wanting to fit in and breaking free of that. zane's true potential came in the#form of 'i finally know why i am not normal' instead of 'i will be my true self'. zane never pretended to not be weird#(instert book) states he literally didnt know why people got mad at him. he just existed and it was 'wrong'. the mask he hid behind was#avoidance. he was pretty open about how he actually was (most of the time). when he was upset he would audibly sigh and walk away lol#but for him saying he wasnt upset / saddened by the ninja... it felt like a moment of selflessness. if that makes sense. he blamed himself#for the monestary burning down. so he didnt deserve the apologies (ish) in the virtues of spinjitzu zane is shown as the generous one iirc#he puts the needs of others over his own. he will bear whatever burden he needs if others are happy. at that same time he doesnt allow
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why do you hate Joshua Graham or Honest Hearts so much?
This DLC and character represents a bigger issue with fandom spaces I have but particularly fallout fandom in general.
Fallout tends to tackle a lot of topics controversial and not. The first two games it’s heavy cause they are the most satirical and direct with how anti-war, nationalism and etc… they are. 3 loses this as it’s very clear once you play or learn about all the games that Todd and a bunch of guys at Bethesda just liked the 50s post apocalyptic aesthetic and refuse to actually critique the ideals of the time period like the earlier titles.
New Vegas is the game that really gets back into it a degree it almost seems like it’s taking too much on. There are things done exceedingly well while other things are done horribly wrong . I’ve made posts about it before and plan to make a big series of posts (it’s a lot of writing) but my biggest gripe is with Honest Hearts and all the gross and white savior esque depictions it has of indigenous peoples. The entirety if FNV does not do the injustices faced by indigenous people correctly on any count. My two biggest complaints are with the Khans and the tribes in Zion but I’ll talk about the former on a different post.
Both characters of Daniel and Joshua are the most accurate depiction of white saviors I’ve seen and I hate how the DLC tries to justify and defend them. The DLC treats Joshua like this man who has repented for his past actions when he is just retracing his steps after his cruelty bit him in the ass. He was one of the worst parts of the Legion and it is all but explicitly stated that if you don’t force him to be non-violent he will turn the tribes of Zion into the legion 2.0. The Dead Horses and the Sorrows are horribly infantilized by both Daniel and Joshua who both use them for self serving purposes guised by religious duty. The White Legs are the horrible stereotype of violent and savage indigenous and I personally think a lot of their interlinking with Ulysses, his hair and Ulysses character in general are distasteful and very telling of how BIPOC or POC where involved.
But outside of the game it’s the weird obsession people have with these characters ideologies and trying to make them seem more interesting/philosophical than they are. Tumblr is an echo chamber and many fans of Fallout are not the people on this site. Many people are not educated in the issues these characters convey and how poorly they do or used these characters as a poor introduction for their takes. Contrary to what a lot of people believe in, fallout has a prediomeny white cis male fanbase. More importantly a large portion of the fanbase is white.
You can joke how FNV made you trans or see the numbers on post/fics or diverse headcanons but these are kiddy numbers compared to the millions that consume the franchise and aren’t in those more aware spaces or don’t engage in the spaces the same way someone like me does/has to. Their views shape a lot more than people realize and it’s exhausting to be in a space where people don’t correct the more subtle yet toxic aspects of it but also adopt them into some weird quirky view point on the characters or issues. Some people don’t realize and some people don’t care.
My main issue is just the idolizing of these sort of thing in this fandom space and people try to acts like a game like fallout whose tagline is “War never changes” and has never had a game not revolve around political or militaristic factions issues isn’t that deep or doesn’t relate to real issues. I think it’s mainly caused by how over powered you can become and how you can strong arm your way past these learning moments as majority of people who play this game do play it as a power fantasy where they can do so as they please (which of course, go ahead it’s fun) but never take in parallels or lessons in the story as if it was just another first person shooter.
Also like another personal gripe is Cazadores spawn like hell whenever I’m there and I have not found a mod that works to mod them out so I have to play Indigenous Racism the DLC while getting jumped by giant wasps WHILE helping Mormons. Like I cannot catch a break.
#I’m mostly silly or character headcanon focused on this blog#but sometimes I forget some people literally have never interacted with someone slightly outside of their ideologies or don’t learn about#philosophies that don’t pertain to their view point and actively block them out#and so I have like a meltdown and occasionally post about it cause like I see more people hate Danse for regurgitating BoS teachings than#hate Joshua Graham who helped found the legion participated in their practices and still has this weird bloodlust#like make it make sense why do you like this white man genuinly like outside of his aesthetic#I can say silly shit about them hit it’s always I think it’s surreal they even exist while others genuinely wish they did so they could fix#them and some of all don’t realize how quickly jokes lead people down rabbit holes and pipe lines cause ur not gonna see posts even pitying#that man in here#like when I defend Danse it is through the signs and events in game that show he is not stuck in his ways and possibly only adopted those#beliefs because of his tramatic events with super mutants and the bos being very anti anything not human#their are affinity reaction that concern this while Joshua like moans yes when killing the white legs and is always polishing his gun goon#pile like I’ve learned too much about him the Mormon faith and that dlc to be told I’m playing favorites he is not fixable or repentent#this fandom has one of the worst issues of he’s my fave so he can’t do wrong when some of this characters are literal unapologetic rapist#racists or individuals who condone or perpetuate like ideas and concepts like obviously I’m gonna not like them????!#like I still think it’s interest to dissect them and I try so hard to not be a hypocrite but sometimes it’s like the whole this is just a#fun thing for you but like be aware of what you are taking in and reflect like is so important fiction can slowly seep into your morals#I’m rambling and losing track of shit so imma stop here before I reach the tag limit but again dm and ask cause this is the stuff I will#blab about#horrible at normal conversation tho#fallout#fallout new vegas#joshua graham#honest hearts#ask#anon#fallout 3
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LEVEL 5 SYNCHRO
#TWO drawings in “one” day!? :explodinghead:#I also had this one lying in my folder since LAST YEAR(!!!)#almost 1 year anniversary since the original sketch that evolved so much. so i decided to post it cause i had it coloured#and the only reason i didnt post it cause i was too unmotivated to shade it#but then i decided it doesnt need it slap some gradient as the bg and go#so here we are#yugioh#yu-gi-oh 5d's#ygo 5ds#yusei fudo#idk if i should tag bruno#bruno borrelli#antinomy#antinomy yugioh#toolshipping#you know i always found it weird yusei x antinomy dont have a shipname and i get that antinomy IS bruno and always bruno for yusei#but for example even during dark signer era yusei had different shipnames with kiryu#and jack w carly etc.#and its super common for dm and gx ship AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON ZEXAL#so you know#just a thought though#sorry ramble in tags#Junk Speeder#T.G. Over Dragonar
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@g3othermal3scapism got my brain working over high school au of them, and I instantly dove headfirst into early 2010’s fashion
So enjoy these little losers, they work minimum wage at a shitty burger place together
#I went ‘Hmm Syd doesn’t look dorky enough’#and threw the Naruto thingy on her shirt#I haven’t seen Naruto nor Speed (1994) (which she has a poster of in her room) so I can’t speak to the accuracy of that#but that’s what I’m getting from what few vibes I have#Carmy is a mix of JAW in this weird little short film called The Fourth and Harry Styles#yes Mikey and Richie make fun of his boyband lookin ass but he wants his hair long and doesn’t super know what to do with it#and Syd’s design is inspired by screen caps I found of Jessica Alba in Honey (2003)#Carm does wrestling and Syd’s trying and failing to get him in drama#guy deserves to be in makeup and costume <3#but Syd just does everything#drama baseball academic decathlon the list goes on#anyway love these guys <333#my art#the bear#the bear fx#the bear fx high school au#illustration#doodle#character design
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Just want to say love your reverted au, but was that all 999 black apples, it also looked traped by postivy arrows. Is that why he doesn't remember anything or have a inventory as it's holding all is stuff and memories? Well anyway love this au, and please talk about it
Yep!
The memory stuff is from something else (all the gang has got pretty bad induced amnesia from Dream + co) but little Night got separated from the apples entirely as an extra precaution. i guess he'd be reverted but still goopy otherwise?? just shorter lmao??
but yeah, no corruption, no inventory. He's basically walking around soulless (but as far as he knows that's completely normal, what's everyone so weirded out about? what even is an inventory??) He can't be checked either but his stats are probably really fucked still. Strength-wise he's just a lil guy, he can't do much harm. He'd be like freakishly powerful if he was ticked off enough but he doesn't really have a way to channel that without the corruption
#also yeah the corrupted apple soul is super trapped#Night's still linked to it#that can't be severed or else he's super dead :(#otherwise dream would've just destroyed it#i wanna draw more of it? like the start of the au#but i also wanna draw the weird amnesia found family so *shrugs*#mil's reverted au
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Human as you are
When you tell him you want to demat his hair, you're met with a scoff
"It'd have to be cut. All of it. Make me uglier than I already am" he snarls
You disagree, and sweetly push, reassure, promise
He rolls his eyes, fights, tries to intimidate
Mumbles a sarcastic "only if you're naked, too"
He hopes it shuts you up. Embarrasses. Deflects your horrible insistence
To his shock, terror, you agree.
You sit behind him, nude in water a little too warm for your liking, muscles undoubtedly to cramp in the small space of a tub not meant for two people, but that's okay
It's claustrophobic, suffocating
But that's okay, too, because he's letting you close to him
Letting himself be vulnerable
An honor even his sister rarely sees, you're aware, even if he's mostly hidden himself from you by the ridiculous amount of soap bubbles that surround your bodies like snowfall
Even if he refuses to let his weary eyes meet yours
Gentle hands soak his gnarled, broken strands with conditioner and detanglers
He flinches under your touch
Your touch, which has never hurt him, would never, could never
But the world has, the world will, the world takes wicked joy in it, and that is enough to justify the tenseness of his shoulders and the bobbing of his throat as he swallows, forcing himself to still
To trust his judgement
To trust you
You pretend not to notice, preserve his pride, devour your own
He swears it burns where your flesh touches his, wonders if you think him as diseased as everyone else does, wonders if you even care
Wonders if Daki allowed you this time away from scrubbing floors to spoil her dear brother
Wonders how you stand the stench, human as you are, of the blood and gore and the decomposing filth that may as well take up as much of his head as his dark locks do
A bladed comb cuts through the worst of it, straightening the rest as much as his hair allows
He watches your reflection in the water, watches your tongue poke through your lips as you concentrate on a particularly stubborn mat, watches you smile as you massage the falling suds into the spots on his shoulders- not to erase but to soothe
You would never hurt him
You work long, and pull so many unsavable chunks from his head he fears you really might cut him bald
You work hard, and resist the urge to playfully squish the inky dots below the corners of his mouth
There's no pain in your work, not enough for an Oni of his strength to notice, but you apologize every time the brush catches his knots anyway
It's cute
You're cute, he thinks
Eventually, slowly, he allows himself to lean into you
Relaxes in the warmth surrounding him
He tells himself it's only so you don't have to stretch so far to reach him
Wouldn't want you to hurt your weak human arms
Ignores the inner voice that snickers with the knowledge that if he weren't so ugly, prideful, scared, he may have even allowed himself to smile
And when you leave, finally, to let him to wash his lower half without the threat of you, and he's left to sit in cooling water, eyes wide in the confusion that someone dares to care for him in such a way, like he's not disgusting, like he's not a monster, like he's a person, he pretends the tears threatening to fall is just the water left from his hair.
#not obey me#gyutaro#gyutaro x you#gyutaro x reader#i dont remember writing this#found it in my notes after taking too much sleepy herbs to combat my insomnia#bathing and caretaking#undetermined relationship#but you and gyu are definitely super close#probably a little ooc#but it seems decently liked on ao3 so i thought id throw it here and bolt#not my usual style of writing#weird punctuation#i just want to demat and de-flea gyu and also take care of Urogi's wings but im stuck in THIS horrible reality#formatting on mobile sucks
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#So rn my parents are overseas at this gathering with family friends#And one of them got married + had a kid 11 weeks ago#All of this in the span of less than a year btw#And he’s 15 years older than me but rlly fun etc the kind of guy that feels at most 6-7 years older yk#And it feels wildddd cuz he was the rlly like mischievous (?) Kind of guy in our friend group#and it felt a bit weird to know he was expecting a kid since I found out a few months back but today my mum told me her name and everything#And I’m feeling super weird again like I can’t imagine him as a serious responsible dad buckling down yk#But also he can be serious when he needs to be so that coupled with his sense of humour means he’s going to be a great dad in sure#But it’s making me rethink whether or not I want to have kid(s)#maybe it’s just vanity but I feel like pregnancy would rlly wreck my body both looks and health wise#Like that is 9 months of commitment idk if I can handle it 😭😭😭#but sometimes i daydream abt what it would be like to have kids with the guy im 90% sure I’ll be marrying in like 7 years#and it makes me feel soooooo. like I want to do all that with him#and I feel like he would be level headed enough to help me through wtv insecurity or anxiety I’m feeling now#Idk idk#personal
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i had a nightmare that andor s2 dropped and it was bad
tony gilroy don't you dare pull an arcane s2 you're my only hope
#andor s2 drops and turns out luthen died at the end of s1 and except for a montage & a sad monologue from cassian everyone forgot he existed#and now that he's dead all of cassian's trauma is p. much forgotten and he doesn't wanna fight the empire no more#instead he adopts a plucky orphan child and relives the childhood he never had by teaching it to pod-race#also it turns out cinta was an evil spy all along#for some new third party big bad#vel has an entire arc about it but it happens offscreen#the third party is the Real Big Bad of the series and was just manipulating the poor empire all along uwu#the empire and the rebellion have to team up to defeat the third party with the power of friendship#dedra also has an entire arc that happens offscreen where she realizes that fascism is bad#she meets vel and immediately defects#nobody in fandom is allowed to point out the fact that she did a fascism because she's a lesbian and that's homophobic#dedra & vel have steamy lesbian sex - sorry i mean sesbian lex - in the commandeered hotel room where dedra tortured bix#nobody in fandom is allowed to point out that this is kind of weird because they're lesbians and that's homophobic#also syril gets transported to an alternate universe where kino loy is alive and never went to prison and adopted him as a child#he learns the meaning of friendship and then gets transported back into the main plot in time to save the day#he also realizes that he was in love with sgt. mosk all along#because he made out with alternate universe sgt. mosk who is unproblematic and conventionally attractive#also the surprise Fourth Party Big Bad is... [checks notes] thinly veiled red scare allegory robot eugenics jesus#okay i guess that one's kind of on brand for the star wars universe#but in andor s2 robot eugenics jesus is nemik who was resurrected from the dead by force magic#he is saved from his evil path by skeen (who was convinced by a time-travelling nemik from another dimension)#who tells robot jesus nemik that he just needed to stop loving revolution so much by getting over his personal insecurities#they touch foreheads and vanish#it is a yaoi revolution#also in the final battle cassian has to take down a super mega killer droid#we find out tragically that robot jesus nemik tragically found a funerary recording and tragically reverse engineered an AI and tragically#the super mega killer droid is actually... MAARVA!!!!!#back from the dead!!!#she is tragically revived and tragically killed a couple of times for the tragedy of it all#then bix - who has been suicidal the whole season - sacrifices herself to take maarva out while sad slow-mo music plays (or DOES SHE?????)
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Well I got back from the mall! I got my fav cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory in there (my favorite comfort food is at this restaurant, don’t clown me for this like everyone has irl 😭)
I accidentally took the bus in the wrong direction so I took a little longer but I got home in the end safe and sound :)
I didn’t end up buying anything bc I got scared of like. Idk. I got scared.
But it was fun to look around and see what’s changed!
#idk why I got scared to be very honest with you#like I found some rlly cute clothes at the Macys that’s going out of business in our mall so everything is on sale#so it was all rlly affordable but they were all rlly conventionally ‘girly’ clothes and I haven’t rlly worn that kinda thing in a long time#and I feel weird abt it rn even tho i rllyyyy want to again :(#I’m afraid everyone will think im ugly if I try to dress feminine bc I pass so well as a dude :(#like obviously I’m not SUPER cis looking but literally everyone i interacted with today that used gendered terms addressed me with#masculine language ‘young man’ ‘sir’ etc#so I know I pass well as a guy#which is great genuinely I love it!!#but I’ve been feeling so much more fem lately and I just don’t get to express it irl atm :(
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