#i just followed this person as well
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#Initially I wanted to do a 'Mutiny' quote to follow the 'Luck runs out' quote.#But the musical earworms demanded a different blood to be drawn. And I think it works just as well.#Alright. It's time to confess something. I really struggled with this comic. I didn't want to draw it. Then I didn't want to upload it.#Because I knew I would be here in the tags writing and backspacing for hours trying to articulate my thoughts.#I'm going to talk about death and grief in the tags today so this is your WARNING to look away if you aren't in a headspace for it.#Sometimes in media there are scenes and characters which land on topics so specific to your wounds that it reopens them all over again.#Because here's the truth. When you've known someone like this for nearly your whole life...it doesn't matter how bad the fight is.#You always think 'We'll always have time. One day this dust will settle and we'll rebuild the bridge.'#And then the fucker dies!!! He dies and suddenly there will never ever be time to repair the rift.#Someone you loved died thinking you hated them. And part of you did just a bit. But love and hate aren't mutually exclusive.#He's fucking dead and you are left with so many broken and unfinished pieces between the two of you.#Jiang Cheng loses Wei Wuxian thinking that WWX thought they hated each other.#He's a younger brother who will one day be older than the person he lost.#Who has no one else in the world who understands those feelings of love and hate and grief.#I can't be normal about this character. I don't think he even heals me. Zero catharsis to be gained here.#I just look at his sour grape ass and think 'shit that's a little too close to home.' JC is my discomfort character.#I'm probably going to regret being this vulnerable in the tags in like. An hour. So. sorry if you see this once and never again.#EDIT: Yeah sorry this took 4 hours to muster the courage to post. Surprise update!#EDIT 2: You guys were being too nice to me on my sad comic to point out the spelling error. I have fixed it now B'*)
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sorry i stopped posting, i got medicated and also engaged
#also i work 6 days a week and am in grad school#in case you ever wondered what happened to that person you used to follow#people on twitter thought i was dead#not dead! just happy#turns out i’m someone who needs to live a mostly offline life#highly recommend!!#not art#probably my last post ever so see ya#my fiance is a really great person they’ve been my best friend for twice as long as we’ve been together#they’re very private but i’m obsessed with them#really recommend finding someone who makes you incredibly happy#genuinely hope everyone is doing well!! or as well as you can be haha
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Sometimes a day makes you want a Starscream to bite and squeeze
#guess who got their final scores back ahaaa#class avg was 60 percent 😭#also I have blocked the transformers tag on TikTok that place is a hellhole#bit of a vent here but it’s so crazy#I was talking to a person I didn’t even follow a while back and we were making jokes like yeah the autobots ship megastar#on my fyp a couple days later and I see them reposting “shipping megastar is bad and gross’ like bruh what#I saw one of my followers commenting ‘yeah can’t believe it’s so popular’ I HAVE POSTED MEGASTAR BEFORE WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE#I POSTED MY STARSCREAM AND MEGATRON FIGURES RAILING EACH OTHER#I only started posting cause I was like eh if it’s getting banned might as well#these people were poisoning my fyp smh#I’m convinced it’s just a moral superiority thing like all of those people who thought abo was so cringe and then someone was like#‘I secretly like abo’ and everyone agreed that they also like abo and it’s not that weird anymore#Ngl though. it is kinda sad but also kinda funny#sorry for the rant cause I talked about it before and I don’t want to keep on talking about it but those two baffled me#transformers#transformers fanart#megastar#megatron#starscream#transformers g1#megascream#maccadam#its like watching one of those religious couples where one of them is gay and theyre like 'I am working through my gay to be straight'
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I think about the fact Anya locking herself in the infirmary with Curly to kill herself and how it is in way reclaiming a space that was initially hers from Jimmy.
Not to mention how she must've been aware of Jimmy's obsession with Curly and the idea that he would lose his power over the both of them (based on the fact she likely thought they would never get the door open) and having to face the responsibility of two deaths being on his hands as acting captain.
It was her final act of agency stuck on that ship with her abuser and it says something that she chose to die next to Curly, despite his inaction, leaned against him as if they were just in a casual conversation before her death. Despite everything, Anya made the final decision on her own terms and it speaks volumes considering her treatment and demeanor up until that point.
#sadly this did not work but I slso assume that she chose to use all the pills because she did not htink theyd be able to keep curly alive#too much longer without her knowledge and seeing how everyone died almost immediately following her death well...#I think Anya is merciful and would've killed Curly if she did not feel like Jimmy would retaliate as she would understand being at the merc#of someone who only resents you and sees you less than a person now. Like do i think she fully forgave him for not doing much and possibly#crashing the shit? no but i think she can understand his hesitation just a bit better in those final moments#also small headcanon is she knew he likley didn't cause the crash just due to how Jimmy talked of it and Curly being at fault because you c#even tell when Jimmy is avoiding the truth or lying in a lie and he was much to eager to constatnly talk down to Curly rather than wonder#why his closest friend would also do something like that much like Curly was confused and shocked Jimmy actually did it and she died knowin#Curly was at least innocent about that#anya mouthwashing#mouthwashing anya#curly mouthwashing#mouthwashing curly#captain curly#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing spoilers#suicide tw#tw suicide
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found an old ekurei comic rotting in my files, decided to finish it. upon my rewatch of mp100 i kept noticing how many times dimple was referred to as a pet- but he's not ! ! ! he's a friend :)
#not too happy w the writing but whatevs#sorry matsuo likers if hes ooc i used him as plot device#ekurei#mp100#mob psycho 100#reigen arataka#dimple mp100#comic#op art#ok continuing my thoughts here bc i dont want a whole essay up there#ik reigen calls him a pet as well but its more joking imo and also#this comic is after s3 when they r sort of friends#in my ekurei timeline tho they aint fusing yet. just pals#maybe have fused a few times but nothin srs yet#for those who dont follow me that will not make any sense lol#but even mob calls him a pet sometimes! or dehumanizes him. like. mob. you are the ghost seer. you should know better#now i could be misremembering that but still#everybody treats him like a mosquito or something which is funny but hes a person#he just looks different :(#long post
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horrible children who are. so so mean to each other
#tlt#the locked tomb#my art#precanon griddlehark dynamic is SO funny. the way they are just no-holds-barred absolutely AWFUL to each other.#the fact that harrow made fun of gideon for saying 'i love you' over her dead mother's grave so gideon nearly choked her to death#and then when gideon recalls this story in gtn she's just like 'yeah lol we were wild kids'#also remember when gideon responded to harrow being kind of bossy with 'your parents must have been so relieved to die' like#imagine saying that knowing full well her parents killed themselves in front of her when she was ten!!!! insane!!#there's no sense of going 'too far' between them. they casually hit what would be considered by most ppl to be 'too far' and then keep going#anyway i don't usually go in for characters-being-kids-together stuff but i will admit that childhood gid+harrow#following each other around absolutely terrorizing each other because they're desperate for each other's attention but also full of#hatred and vitriol#does compel me#like...2 very lonely very traumatized children with only each other for company. what will they do? ENDLESSLY TORTURE EACH OTHER!!!#and yet they are each other's emotional support person. its so good.
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tfone au where OP is created as the last of the primes but way after them, a sparkling born at what were thought to be the last days of the war against the quintessons, the beginning of a new generation of peace after eons of war. a child meant to be loved and raised knowing nothing of war nor sacrifice.
he's kept mostly out of the spotlight by his siblings, who don't wish to expose him to everyone's optics so young, and want to wait until the war is done and over to properly introduce him to their people.
except of course the primes are betrayed and murdered by sentinel, the war is lost and everyone who knows and cared for the truth is either banished or outright killed in order to suppress it.
and the high guard, the ones the primes trusted the most, the ones that were supposed to protect them, the ones who failed in their most important duty, have to make a choice. to take the last prime, their last hope, with them to the surface, a hostile environment where there's little to no supplies and where they'll be hunted down by both sentinel and the quintessons as the biggest threat to their regimen.
or hide him in plain sight. place him where sentinel won't think to look for him. one more sparkling among many. and hope it will be enough to keep him alive. pray to primus that he'll protect his last child long enough for them to come back for him when it's safer (even if most of them have already lost their faith on him when he allowed the rest of his children to be massacred like that)
they almost lose their resolve when they realize they will have to take the little one's cog away in order to make him blend in with the rest of the newborns (and oh do they burn with murderous intent when they see what sentinel has done to their people but it's not the time yet-) but in the end they decide an impaired little prime is better than a dead one.
and so in the chaos of thirteen dead primes and a sudden energon crisis, a little sparkling who very few mechs really knew about and even fewer had seen completely vanishes. and in the depths of iacon a mech in charge of a new batch of newborns scratches their helm in confusion as they realize they must have miscounted the first time.
optimus prime is quietly erased from any official records by sentinel, written off as dead when they find a sparkling's frame mangled beyond recognition after an attack on the base of those rebels that insist on being a thorn on his side. killing the sparkling hadn't been precisely in his plans, he probably could've found some use for it after all, but he's not particularly upset about it either.
and orion pax grows up with an ache on his spark that tells him he's missing something far more important than a t-cog and dreams of gentle and loving hands, cradling him against the frames of mechs he cannot recall the faces of.
#i talk a lot <3#transformers#transformers one#tfone#optimus prime#orion pax#baby prime orion au#this is mostly an excuse for me to draw the primes and baby OP later on. just to be clear.#i WILL be drawing this at some point lmao#tbh i'm a little uncertain how i want things to progress#because on one hand it would be very tasty and tense if sentinel recognized optimus during the race#but that means a lot of changes very early on in the plot and i would have to do a lot of Thinking on how to justify getting the gang#to still pick up bee and elita. cause i love them <3#i do think it'd be very funny if the high guard's plan worked like a charm except for the very tiny fact that they didn't count#on orion being an absolute hellion. like. this kid is Not Going Unnoticed and it's completely his own fault lmao#in this version maybe a member of the high guard stayed behind to keep an eye on orion and is able to get them out before they're killed#but instead of taking them to where the primes fell they take them directly to the high guard#which is very awkward because it's a very moving and emotional moment for the high guard who are finally reunited with their little prime#all grown up and healthy and blessedly *alive*. except orion doesn't fucking remember any of them and is very confused as to why#the legendary warriors of cybertron are getting all weepy over him. they finally explain the truth to him which is a Fucking Bomb#to drop on anyone but especially a group of kids who almost got killed by the person they all thought the world of just hours ago#they also return orion's t-cog to him which would create some tension between him and the rest of the gang because this time#he's the only one getting his cog back. add to it that they were just told he's the equivalent of a demi-god and... well.#there's a gap between him and them that wasn't there before#on the other version of events that follows canon more closely everything goes the same up until the gang finds the primes in the cave#and wake up alpha trion who now not only has to deal with the fact the rest of his siblings are dead but that he missed fifty cycles#of his baby brother's life. that the only sibling he has left does not remember him or his true identity at all.#he has to choose between telling him the truth which has the risk of unbalancing him in a critical moment where he cannot afford to#be distracted because they're being hunted down. or let him remain unaware. let him forget their family and the love they had for him#but letting him remain free of the knowledge of what he lost and the heartbreak it would bring.
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pt. 2 of taking random posts on my dash and making them about my own interests
#really why does this fit so well huh#=^_^=#community#trobed#i just realized this person doesnt even follow me im so sorry ...
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hello to my hope world 🌈 for @senor-hoberto [ cr : namuspromised ]
#btsedit#btsgif#dailybts#usersky#userpat#userines#userdimple#usersevn#raplineuser#uservans#annietrack#underbetelgeuse#rjshope#usermaggie#usermizuoka#*mine#hobi#the individual room shoots for the be album are some of my faves can you tell#it fit the concept so well & it was really cool to see what each room looked like in terms of their personalities & style#i like how i coloured these too well done me#anyway hi vane it only felt right to dedicate this set to you#i know we've never talked but you're literally one of the coolest people i follow & i just wanted you to know that 💖
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i know this will be a controversial statement for some people on this website, but you guys need to understand that being a radical communist with zero awareness of the nuance of living on planet earth is really not very different from being an alt-right extremist.
if you’re past the point of using logical thinking and understanding that societies and politics are complex and can be wildly different from one place to another, you’re just a fanatic, in spite of the place in the spectrum you place yourself on. you’re too swayed and brainwashed by propaganda. you’re just a blind fanatic, and your agenda becomes dangerous for real people living in the real world.
#you’re no better than a twitter stan but actually worse bc you don’t give a shit about misinformation and harming real human beings#just to try to make a point and prove how you’re ideology is perfect and anything who identifies with it is perfect and fuck anybody#who dares have critical thinking and nuance bc they’re just fascist traitors#and the fact that i can apply all this to two different topics. see: american election and venezuela’s crisis just further shows what i say#i’m tired. TIRED!!!!!! of ipad communists trying to spread misinformation so blatantly and maliciously#fucking stop!!!!!!!!!!!!#i don’t think this applies to any of my mutuals / people i follow btw so pls don’t take this personally bc it’s not any of you#if you follow me tho and feel offended by this post. well. question yourself and your beliefs!#politics
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Sometimes I think about how Adrien must grieve
How, when he lost his mother, it was a gradual thing, where he lost more and more of her, where he was slowly prepared for an eventuality and a future in which she would not be there anymore. How it was longstanding and tormenting and how his grief began long before the day he would never see her again. How though the pain of loss must have been sharp and aching for him, and he must desperately miss Emilie, at least he achieved some solace in not having to see her in pain anymore.
But then once he's reached a healthy stage and coping style in his grief for Emilie, the wounds are reopened once again.
How his father went from existing to suddenly being gone to Adrien. How he had no warning, no indication that he would never see him again. How even though the grief is sudden and unexpected, it had really started months before Gabriel was gone, and even long before he became injured.
It's how despite the fact that Gabriel was seemingly in good health, and Adrien had no reason to fear losing him, Adrien has actually been grieving for Gabriel and their relationship for a long time. How Adrien has had to watch his father slip away, lose himself, and slowly give less and less of himself over to Adrien, until Adrien could hardly recognize the man that was supposed to be sitting across the table from him.
Sometimes I just think about how grief became a comfort for Adrien, a lifestyle, because he has been taught that all good things in his life, all things he loves, must come to an end eventually.
And I think about how that must affect him as a person.
#i may or may not have lost my point somewhere along this post#but im just following my thoughts#i personally think that adrien is such a good character to analyze for grief patterns#especially because he faces both sudden and prepared grief#and i think the show handles his grief pretty well#hes such a fascinating character#i yearn to study him under a microscope#tw: grief#tw: loss#grief#loss#character analysis#ml analysis#adrien agreste#miraculous ladybug#mlb#miraculous#ml#ml season 5
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Jean Vicquemare is a man in a long list of pathetic, loyal, lets-one-person-walk-all-over-him, angry and sad fuckfaces of characters i cant get enough of
He's clinically depressed. He calls harry a repugnant, stinky alcoholic every two seconds. He has spent years at his side cleaning up his messes. He says he doesn't believe that Harry can get better. He covers for him every single time hoping he will, and still does. He's his satellite-officer, his goddamn partner. Harry doesn't even remember that he had one, let alone what his initials stand for. Jean is a fucking sad, bitter police officer who has busted his balls for this man out of whatever flavour love you want to read into it, and can't stop cursing him out for his seemingly wasted effort, and yet he still tries. He should haunt the narrative, but all he gets is haunted by it. He has five minutes of screentime but ties together an entire lifetime Harry has forgotten in one encounter. He's a tragedy. What a sad fuck. I love him.
#jean vicquemare#sorry for my stunned followers. i just finished disco elysium and i have a lot of thoughts and feelings#funnily enough about this legend of a character#the narrative uses him so well. like he seems so unimportant bc harry doesnt know who he is#but he is the last person with harry in the ending scene bc he IS important#its crazy#this guys crazy#love this writing#fucking insaneeee#harry du bois#disco elysium#jeanharry#harryjean
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ive been thinking about the red string superstition recently and also sol bufo always and it makes me sick how uncannily caldwell tanner has made sol to perfectly target me personally
(+ cropped versions !)
#naddpod#ba2mia#ba2umia#solum bufo#swag daniels#calliope petrichor#calder kilde#alexandrite#posts by me dot com#okay..... SECRET TAGS RAMBLE!#so basically this superstition is like ... i think a chinese/buddhist/taoist superstition?#ive taken some creative liberties with it... but its mostly accurate to how its been told to me?#but of course theres lots of variations! some more abt bad luck; some say to tie it on the doorknob#etc etc ... lots a variations#i was also rlly interested in the .... weird illogic? of the thing?#like the red attracts and repels spirits at the same time#so thats something i was thinking about with too. red is assocuated with both swag and alexandrite. which to me was kinda reflecting like#i think what murph said . swags place in the wild is in a way. an extension of what he learned from the network#mothership s inextractivle from sol and swags lives. they will always be held doen by it. thats the spirit that will follow them forever#that they choose to hold on too! as much pain as it brought ... some of the experience was worth it#and anyway. theres somethingwrong w me that the minute someone brought up this superstition my brain went#'ohhh just like sol!' < needs to touch grass moment#but i CANT BELIEVE. CALDWELL DID THE RED STRING. AND ITS LITERALLY A MOURNING RITUAL#caldwell keeps accodentally makig that frog ASIAN. to MEEEE!!!!!!#but. anyway. idk. ive always hced sol kept the piece of yarn and it makes me kinda .... what if y let the malicious spirits follow you.#and haunt you. what if its the closest you can get to keeping the person still around#and sol and swag obviously have so much about homes .... so!#(ok. weve reached the pt where maybe nobodys reading? so confession is this is sort of a well. ive just been doodling this comic everyday#after a wake. and it was sort of inspired after realising i was even a bit sad about it maybe. so. idk its about sol but also?#i guess the projection doesnt end at him being asian. hehe. is what i mean. LOL. okay secret tags over . buried lore. dont look here folks)
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talking about the topic of animated movies not Hitting, I accidentally reminded myself of one time on twitter, I think around the time that Raya came out?? I was poopooing on how much the dragon looks like elsa, and then talked about how I wish 2d animated and hand animated films were still The Medium instead of nothing but the highest resolution skin texture fur textured 3d animated films bc I'm tired of seeing it, etc etc and then someone who I was not mutuals with, they must've been someone working under the disney IP in some form, and must've either done some work on raya or just worked on 3d animated projects in general, replied to me SEVERAL TIMES as if I was subtweeting them, with something to the tone of "just say you hate me and you think my art is trash" and I think about that ALL the time
#I wish I could find what they said bc it was so much weirder than what I paraphrased. but this was years ago#like I had accidentally REALLY. bothered them and they thought the tweets were directed straight at them.#they were following me apparently (unfollowed me after that. obviously. bc they decided that I hated them specifically)#(bc I didn't like the dragon design from raya and I was fantasizing about it being 2d animated)#they deleted the tweets like 24 hours later but I was literally like. I'm sure you do good work???#i'm sorry you feel that way but rn i'm trying to complain about this very mainstream movie?? this is not a personal attack???#but now whenever I say something about a movie looking like dookie I imagine someone messaging me going “just say you hate me”#bc they did some concept art for it or something#shouts out to that person they were obviously doing really well emotionally to have come at me in that way lmao#sergle.txt#they obviously felt that we were in a Personal Argument but i wasn't wanting to argue and the interaction was not personal so it was very#one sided lol
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oooooo white people in my replies really saying ‘I can excuse racism but I draw the line at homophobia’
Not surprised since this is the site that only talks about racism and thinks it’s a big deal when they see it demonstrated in the cartoons and comics they like *coughs* dungeonmeshi *coughs* (for example at least. I haven’t seen THIS many white ppl talk as in depth about racism on here as much as these fandom nerds, man. I stg. Like “Ohhhh, so you all DO acknowledge that racism is real? Just not in real life even if you could feel it slapping you in the face at high speed. Gotcha.” It’s crazy.
Tumblr is like, 90% white and is extremely centered around them. That’s why you barely see stuff that’s important to black and brown people ever trending here or being talked about. It has to be something incredibly huge to the point where even white people can’t ignore it like they usually do, to talk about it here.
They only talked about George Floyd here because the topic of his death became world news. Even people in other countries were talking about it. Before him, it was probably Ferguson and Trayvon Martin… most of them are still trying their best to ignore the genocides because it’s a “touchy subject.” What do you expect from white people who live in their own bubbles of comfort and refuse to pop it with a needle??? They find comfort in their privilege and faux ignorance (they love playing stupid to avoid conversations about important things outside of fandoms like, are these mfs born with half a brain dedicated to fandom or what.) That’s literally all these mfs make a big deal out of, especially on this annoying ass platform. The ao3 mfs will go to war for the site that allows racist ff and cp like it’s no big deal. I wonder how many people here even donated to the site while actively scrolling past dono posts from folks who really do need help. They act like they’re doing a civil service by defending this site that makes over the amount of it’s intended dono goal in minutes.
Then you already know as soon as you even bring up racism in the stuff they like, they start ganging up and harassing black bloggers especially, calling them TERFs and the whole nine. Anything to make that person look bad for being concerned about the racism that they have such an intense aversion to. God, it’s absolutely exhausting knowing that these people would have no problem choosing a cartoon character over your entire existence if they COULD. Isn’t that fucking sad, man?
#:(#it’s like what can you do#as a black person I get why sm black bloggers here have ‘don’t follow me if you’re white’ in their bios#they’ll call it racist or whatever (it’s fucking not you guys just treat black ppl like shit here and most of us feel unsafe to interact#with y’all. you guys always turn on us at the drop of a hat)#i remember commenting on a HS post funny enough years ago#because the punchline of the post was literally the white mfs saying nigga#and I was so annoyed that I told them off and one of my white mutuals unfollowed meanjsjsjsl#like right after that#and another unfollowed me because I talk about racism and the like a lot like this is a really well known artist too so I was like 🧍🏾♀️?#because I talk about racism a lot??? it’s weird lol#like they’ll tolerate you for a while then when they feel offended they start to act weird and act like you’re not supposed to talk about#the stuff that effects you#tkf replies#karmelarts#they don’t give a shit about anything if it doesn’t personally Involve them#they act like they can’t relate to anyone or anything it they aren’t marginalized themselves (being gay or trans which they treat as a#personality trait)#notice how you never see movies/ shows about black and brown ppl trending here? it’s always white centered shit no#matter how hot and popular that show might be#you’ll never see something like the wire snowfall or power trending here#all of the black ppl are on twitter anyway so#sm black ppl got ran off of here by annoying white ppl
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*remembers the best gamefaqs forum question of all time*
#tw divorce#Bean Text#Fire Emblem#Fire Emblem Awakening#FEA#FE13#inigo fe#inigo fire emblem#this is personally so funny to me because i can safely say my relationship is divorced with this man#“who is inigo” my little meow meow in middle school before i was introduced to kaito vocaloid when i was 13. hes also a shameless flirt#but he has a good heart!! i swear !!!!#also to my followers who don't know anything about fire emblem; you (the avatar in-game) can not divorce inigo#but due to... circumstances he leaves almost anyone he marries anyway (but in most endings in another game he comes back)#its pretty much well known that inigo and laslow are the same person but just in case#(even though its been 8 years since fates released)#fire emblem fates spoilers#fe14 spoilers
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