#i just feel bad because all my advice comes from movies and tv and putting myself in their shoes??

[pixiecaps]

hi. im sorry if this is a weird question but. what makes you keep watching smps?? just, what motivates you if everytime things and characters and plotlines captivate you and they almost never end in a satisfactory way. it might be because im a newbie in myct but every server i learned about seems to just last very little or burn in a horible death. what makes you want to go again and again to new servers.

okay to start off here there’s two layers and one is more of a personal thing and another basically advice.

first i dont talk about this much but my brain just latches onto things and one of my longest lasting interests is on minecraft. probably since the game was released. i think ive probably watched more minecraft content than tv shows & movies in my entire life. because my brain just works that way

now second. i need to this to be clarified everyone has a different reason for sticking along and i think this is a wonderful question that so many mcyt bloggers would have different answers to that would provide a lot of cool insight and perspective. dont think the question is weird at all.

BUT for me i think it was around smplive which was 2019 that was rough that was really the first and only time that i wanted to stop watching minecraft completely. for a lot for a reasons rlly. and yet i didnt!!! and thats because i realized that i didnt want to let something i cherished and enjoyed be tarnished by the bad. its so important to allow yourself grace whenever something bad happens with mcyt content or creators themselves because you arent the one to blame for something turning sour. too much good and incredible content and communities come from these unfortunately ended smps and whatnot to just to be seen as that one thing. i think sometimes, out of spite even, i feel like I NEED TO NOT LET THESE THINGS BE OVERSHADOWED BY THE BAD. because so many smps are fucking wonderful experiences with amazing creators who dedicate so much time to them and who are so funny and talented and for them to not be recognized for that at all is a shame. i loved every smp ive watched and i dont regret watching any of them. theyve all given me so much joy and laughter and its important to remember that. so ig another part of it all is allowing yourself to appreciate the good and not let the bad stop you from experiencing all the future content thats made from mcyt that will be incredible. because there will be more smps and there will so many mcyt creators and the ball isnt gonna stop rolling. sometimes it just boils down to something as simple as not letting the bad experiences stop you from seeing the good the community has to offer. as well as for me outside of the content itself with smps the fanbases have singlehandedly taken a part of my heart. theres just so many wonderful people in these communities who have put out so much positivity that i cant possibly find myself regretting it or not going back in whenever the next smp drops.

much love anon hope that makes a little bit of sense

[kiefbowl]

kief i think im a loser no one ever wants to be my friend and it makes me cry once a year at least. I cant remember the last time i had a friend. All my phone log history is just calls or texts from my mom every couple weeks. Its just hard for me to make friends.

It can be hard making friends, you have to put yourself out there in a scary way and sometimes you don't get returns on it, which is never fun.

I don't think having no friends makes you a loser. I think it shows great resilience to keep on trucking when you're missing this vital part of your life.

I can't magic friends for you, though I wish I could, but I could offer some advice making adult friends that hopefully might help you feel better:

Put yourself in places and situations where you have to meet people. Yes, you could go to a bar or coffee shop and hope to strike up a conversation, but don't forget to look outside the box. An art class, a volunteer opportunity, a local debate - who knows. The important thing is that people will never materialize inside your house, so you have to go where the people are.

Don't forget to be interesting :) That's to say, you're definitely already interesting, you have thoughts, opinions, personal history that makes you interesting...but sometimes getting to that level of intimacy takes some time. So be open about your hobbies and weird niche knowledge! Maybe you think no one wants to hear your obsession with whatever thing, but it's not true. The more you talk about it with people you know and strangers, the more practice you get at talking about it in a way that is casual conversation friendly. And sometimes it'll always be a miss with some people, oh well you'd probably never click with them anyway. The second side of this is to keep pursuing things you like and make you happy, the more skills, hobbies, and knowledge you're pursuing (just pursuing, you don't have to be an expert to be interesting!), the more you have to talk about. The fall back of course if you're thinking "but I'm a big loser who doesn't do or know anything" (you're not) is that watching a tv show, a movie, or reading a book is something every one "gets", so make sure you're prioritizing time to do these fun activities a couple times a week because the more you see and read, the more chance you have to meet someone who's also seen it or read it.

When you meet someone you like, don't be coy. If you're worried about coming on too strong, a good exercise is to think about someone you don't know well telling you they really like you and want to get to you know. How would you want to be told? What would actually come off too strong? What might be odd but forgivable, especially if they seemed nervous? What would actually have to be said that would be an absolute no-starter? You probably have a lot more patience for fictional strangers, so it's worthwhile to assume lots of real life strangers will be patient with you. Plus, everyone likes having friends! People are more often than not very flattered to hear a nice person likes them. I think a good opener is something that's direct, like this: "I've enjoyed meeting you. I'd like to get to know you better, I think we could be really good friends."

When asking people to be friends, invite them to do something and don't be vague or put off details. Don't say: "Let's get coffee sometimes." Do say: "Do you want to get coffee with me tomorrow?" Don't say: "We should go see a movie next week!" Do say: "I want to go see X movie, are you available Saturday to come with me?" If the first response is a "Oh that doesn't work for me," then suggest an alternative plan. If they can't commit to an activity or time, just drop it, they're probably just trying to be nice or something else is going on. But the truth is the reason why when you say "we should hang out sometime!" and they say "yeah!" and then nothing ever happens is not because no one wants to be friends with you, but because everyone is bad at this. Vague plans are easy to agree to without lying, and everyone wants to protect themselves. But there's relief when someone takes the burden of planning off their shoulders.

If you're seeking long term, deep friendships, just know it takes time and it takes vulnerability. It's okay to have only a handful of fairweather friends to start. They're not false, per se, they just serve a different need. They're fun friends. But fun friends can become deep friends with effort and time. If you meet someone you only sorta connect with on some things, you don't have to write them off. Maybe you'll never be deeply entwined in each other lives, but having someone to get lunch with a few times a year can be a nice touchstone in your life. Let the friendship unfold, and that can be enjoyable in itself.

My final advice is: when you're feeling down, remember I'm rooting for you :) one stranger to another, I understand the struggle. You're lonely, but you're not alone, I promise. <3

[winderlylandchime]

2/2Now the heartbreaking Britin scene is up ‘he’s helping him. This is why you need to tell him Brian! Take your own fucking advice, a man needs to know when to ask for help and bro, cancer is one of those times! *pauses tv* wait. Is that Brian’s shirt he’s wearing? *looks at me all sad* is he wearing Brian’s shirt? Please answer me (i tell him yeah) *closes his eyes and takes a deep breath* oh this is going to hurt me. Look at him undressing him and taking care of him. This is killing me. He better be okay! *He is now dead silent, with tears in his eyes watching as Brian talks about Ibiza* i need him to be okay. This is fucking bullshit. Fuck cancer.’ *he is now even more teary eyed as he watches Justin hold Brian and then he just pauses it on them and looks at me* ‘okay this is a seriously sad scene and my heart is breaking right now but also….literally me. Even the white shirt is accurate, just write Team Brian on it and there’s me, hugging Brian as if he’s never done anything wrong in his life’ (this made me laugh so hard btw because he’s actually right. Hes even wearing the shirt now. It is the most accurate representation he couldve thought of) ‘i get Michael wants to respect his wishes but Justin is right, he’s his partner. That’s different. They live together…wait do they? Where the fuck does Justin live? Anyway, theyre together 24/7, he is seeing a different side of Brian than Mike. So like if Mike wants to be quiet and honor his wishes, okay but Justin should tell him’ ‘EMMETT AND CARL! I like this. Come on Carl, go to Deb and make up for whatever you did that pissed me off and i forgot about already’ and we are at that scene of Mikey and Brian ‘i wish this was Brian and Justin instead. Of course he will be at the premiere as Justins plus one. Idiot. I love Brian so much but dude, why would Brian’s footprints be at the theater when its you and Justin that made Rage (michael starts crying about Brian and tells him he knows) what the fuck is going on? NO. DUDE. WHAT WAS ALL THAT BULLSHIT ABOUT HONORING HIS WISHES BEFORE? YOU FUCKING TRAITOR. YOU DUMBASS! YOU FUCKING MORONIC IDIOT. I GET HES SAD AND SCARED BUT FUCKING MORON. HE WAS ALL HIGH AND MIGHTY AND NOW HE PULLS THIS SHIT. (He tells justin knows) *pauses tv and takes a deep breath and looks at me* Remember how that one time dad said that if he wanted to kill himself he would just jump from my confidence to my IQ? Yeah, i feel the same way about Mike right now *presses play* Oh Brian is pissed. Why does he look pissed about Justin knowing but not Michael?’ ‘oh poor debbie. Poor carl. Im glad she has him right now. Bless Emmett for doing this. Now give me Brian and Justin because i am afraid and i have a bad feeling’ and we are the Britin scene ‘fuck, Brian is angry. Now see if Mike didn’t ruin everything, I could’ve gotten Brian and Justin cuddling on the couch, watching movies. Fuck that fucker. (brian says “my boyfriend has cancer”) *pauses tv before the outburst* awwwwww he called himself his boyfriend! I KNEW HE WOULD GET THERE EVENTUALLY! MY BABIES ARE BOYFRIENDS *presses play and brian goes crazy* what no, thats not how it was supposed to go? WHERE WAS THIS ENERGY TOWARDS MIKE?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT ANYMORE? WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?’ *his jaw is basically on the floor and he’s just staring at the credits roll* what in the actual fuck just happened? Did they break up? Why wasn’t he like this towards Mike? Fuck Mike. I hate Mike. *puts his hands up and shrugs and then like moves them all over the place and then looks at me* who wrote this show? (Me: umm well technically these two guys Ron and Dan) well in that case: fuck Ron and fuck Dan. Fucking assholes.’ He then got up and went outside and the last thing i heard was ‘mom? I gotta talk to you about some bullshit and don’t interrupt me because i am in PAAAAAIIIINNNNN’ *said as holt in that one b99 episode*

Is that Brian’s shirt he’s wearing? *looks at me all sad* is he wearing Brian’s shirt? Please answer me (i tell him yeah) *closes his eyes and takes a deep breath* oh this is going to hurt me.

This is the correct reaction to clothes sharing.

okay this is a seriously sad scene and my heart is breaking right now but also….literally me. Even the white shirt is accurate, just write Team Brian on it and there’s me, hugging Brian as if he’s never done anything wrong in his life’ (this made me laugh so hard btw because he’s actually right. Hes even wearing the shirt now. It is the most accurate representation he couldve thought of)

OMG I LOVE YOUR BROTHER ANON!!!

Where the fuck does Justin live? <- this is only important because of the last Britin scene in s4. But yeah Justin is living with Daphne right now.

Remember how that one time dad said that if he wanted to kill himself he would just jump from my confidence to my IQ? Yeah, i feel the same way about Mike right now

This is the correct reaction to Mikey being all like "respect his wishes" and then "tell him the moment I have a chance" during this arc.

(brian says “my boyfriend has cancer”) *pauses tv before the outburst* awwwwww he called himself his boyfriend! I KNEW HE WOULD GET THERE EVENTUALLY! MY BABIES ARE BOYFRIENDS *presses play and brian goes crazy* what no, thats not how it was supposed to go?

Um, yeah, the whiplash of this scene is so extreme! From boyfriend to violence in a moment.

well in that case: fuck Ron and fuck Dan. Fucking assholes <- this should be his next t shirt.

PAAAAAIIIINNNNN’ *said as holt in that one b99 episode*

Oh yes, the accuracy.

[fouralignments]

For the “get to know your writer” ask game - 3, 13, 20, 27, 74

Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic

I get sparks of inspiration. I get bad dry spells as well, so it comes and goes. Often times I make little outlines on my phone with checklist features; to give me a sense where I want the conversation to go and what plot points need to be in there. From there I write, I usually like setting the scene with descrubtion to get my audience emerses. Sometime even though I have an outline, when I'm writing its more about finding where it all goes and letting it develop organicing or trusting my story of what and where it wants to go and where it wants to stop.

Sometimes, I have to step back and look at it from a different angle, for the answer to come to me, but its always been there, I just needed to find it. For example in chapter 7, I had this conversation between Peter and Sabah Nur and I need a transition between the next point because real conversation doesn't follow smoothly.

But when inspiration hits me rather that be from the podcasts that I listen to or film analysis or reading; I rework what they said and put them into the word doc. Sometimes I get ideas and have to write them down in my note section of my phone or even phrases that slip into my mind.

I go back on work on sections or move past trouble areas to work on the next point in the outline and go back and worth between them. Rinse and repeat until I feel its done. But, I have the bad habit of editing as I go and chasing rabbit holes thus increasing my chapter length. I sometimes worry that my audience will not like the length will skip over what I have wrote

Then check to see if everything makes sense. It takes me an entire day to upload, I go into word and type out the summary and whatever else is needed on ao3 and just copy/paste on there.

what’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

(It should be noted that I have never EVER taken a creative writing course at the university level) Sometimes your writing has to catch up to your artistic eye.

It has three level:

1: you gotta get your basics down for technical wise like your sentence structure, word choice, using the correct punction etc. Like you gotta know the rules, before you know when break them and bend them when it comes to creative writing.

2: This is best summed up by Glenn Hetrick in the tv show Face Off said multiple. You need to have a reference library of shows, tropes, to see what came before and build on top of it. Understand why tropes, different readings of a show of movie, work the way that they do. Sometimes its better to watch and observe and analysis what went wrong on terrible show than a good one. Just engaging with the text

3: Read shit. Read on topics that you don't know about. Read think pieces.

I took classes on women studies, did survey course on the middle east, read 18 books on semester ranging from populism, poverty, 1954 Guatemalan coup d'état and 28 Mordad coup d'état. First you get exposed to ideas that can inspire you and depending on what your reading word choice, sentence length, I could go on. It helped me greatly better than my previous university did in teaching me how to write. I also started re-reading more writing how to books that I bought sometime back and took their advice seriously. This. helped me develop the language I needed to describe what was in my head. Also the power of the semicolon, run-on sentences I fear you no more!

I have to tell that I use to SUCK at writing, but in the process of having to write short essays and even a couple research papers per semester. It forced me to get better. Really get things down. The professors took the time to tell what I did wrong in papers.

Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

DOMESTIC SHIT

Its been pointed out to me that I write vulnerable moments between the characters rather that be between Erik and Peter, or Erik and Charles, or Peter and Sabah Nur.

What do you mean its not political?

Lots of food porn.

DADS

father-son relationships

For Erik:

I try my best to highlight his Jewish background and even in stories where it isn't apparent.

He does metal art like mystical menagerie of Ziz and leviathan, that do make an appearance in some of my fics.

Give my protective Dadneto any day; he's just so vulnerable around his son. He often sees his mother's eyes in Pietro.

Only Erik calls Peter, Pietro

His beard is called fuzzy. I find Fassy's veiny arms sexy and attractive.

He's very witty and sarcastic, but very worldly.

SHARKS

Yeah yes, Charles swimming with Erik in Shark form!

His singing and breadmaking, just him cooking is described as soulful. As a ritual for both himself and Pietro to help with establishing routine they sing Modeh Ani and Elohai Neshamah for the morning or blessings over food.

For Charles:

I've called his hair fluffy and feather-like mane many of times. He's associated with lavender, which is medicinal as he wants to heal both Erik and Peter but its also calming; also with pastel, lighter grays. His hands are soft and scholarly; I play up that aspect of his character. Shortbread and tea. I associate him with the spring, wildflowers, gardening.

Balancing out Erik in the parenting department. He's very motherly.

For Peter:

I associate him with hummingbirds. When describing his hair I often look up different slivery elements; I was very pleased with the tolkin reference in my Assassin Creed one-shot with Mithril.

Often described using celestial bodies and space, and metals.

He's neurodivergent and he flourishes under a patient teacher like Charles. He is very caring and kind, but suffers badly from self doubt and self esteem issues, a common problem in my fics. However, he doesn't think through things, but he's smart no dumb Peter here. He's trying to figure himself out and who he is.

For En Sabah Nur:

I've tired to my best to ignore or even re-imagine how Sabah Nur looks, so I focus on his eyes because Oscar Isaac has gorgeous eyes. For the character since he compesned with his eyes, voice and hands; I think why a lot of people didn't realize it was him was becuase in post ESN had to be dupped he really changed his voice for the role making it sound old.

I based much of his mannerism off of Oscar Isaac and if you see like him with Pedro Pascal or behind the scenes photos the dude gives good hugs and physical affection.

I also have given the nickname of En Sabah Nur giver of good compliments. Those are his two love languages that he primary uses.

I tired highlighting the milky prophet eyes. layered of his voice

Though surprisingly, I don't write the bite down on his lower lip tick that he has.

Though that may change in the future for the human less blue version in the future.

I am also giving him a fucking hobby, have it planned out, but he enjoy pottery. It turns out that yeah um Ancient Egyptians had pottery wheels. He also has an architect eye. With his powers it would probably help knowing material engineering, metallurgy, and chemistry.

What is your most and least favorite part of writing?

My least favorite part of writing is the first draft and actually getting over the hump of writing enough where I all I want to do is finish it and write glore.

When I am in the zone and the words flow through I feel like I can write for days; I stay up till 1 to 2 o'clock in the morning just being in that moment, while listening to ambient music that helps me get there.

You’ve posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to guess that you’d written it?

My descriptive language and just how I write the characters, its very disincentive. See answer above.

[inplodinggofer616]

the big G in the sky knew I'd be much too mighty if I had claws and fangs as a physical motif for my weird obsession with humanity's fancy new-fangled ways to brutally kill each other being very ingrained in my mind as a means to distract myself from my emotions and how it's become a way to express them despite this especially around my friends and of course leaves me wondering about the morality behind an obsession such as this and whether or not this is healthy at all for anyone least of all someone with a history of serious anger problems and a lot of beef with the world at large considering how much I feel as though I have been brainwashed by my parents, teachers and the myth of americana and if this arms obsession is a product of that and maybe that's why I feel like I'm a bad person sometimes but also I don't feel safe doing that because that would be agreeing with my mother who probably thinks that if I don't hold as many of her beliefs and live as close a life to hers as feasible then she won't go to heaven and how I can't complain about anything because she put me in this world and she can take me out which she always said in jest but knowing my anger issues stem from her I worry she could actually be liable to really do that should she find out about this whole shtick and also very frustrated that if she doesn't do that (not attempting murder being much more likely) I will have the perfect opportunity to confront her about things she said and her mother said and her shitass halfassed 'apology(?)' on her behalf but I cant be too mean grandma died very recently and if I press about stuff mumsy dearest herself said she'll just deny it. just be like 'oh I dont remember saying that so everything is better now because your rage is unfounded because your trauma doesnt exist arent you so relieved?' no you fuckass bitch take your own advice that you raised me on and admit to what you did ffs how else do you expect me to forgive you even slightly. oohooh or she'll pull her favorite move, where she mocks my actual genuine emotions because she thinks I'm doing it just to get her to pity me which DEFINITELY HAS NOT RESULTED IN A GREAT DIFFICULTY IN BEING ABLE TO GAUGE MY EMOTIONAL STATE OR EVEN SO MUCH AS WHAT THE HELL IS GOING THROUGH MY OWN GODDAMN HEAD HALF THE FUCKING TIME, BUT IF THAT'S NOT WHAT CAUSED IT OH GOLLY FUCKING GEE HOW IT VEXES ME SO

"hey why don't you like hanging out with us?"

*we're watching a tv show. an older black lady is in the hospital after exuding very serious symptoms and fainting at a farmers market and who I presume is her daughter (I don't watch this show on my own time so idk) is at her bedside and this character is a med student. the emergency room doctor says something about web md to suggest incompetence and petty fretting over nothing when the show had clear scenes and depictions of the aforementioned symptoms of what is later revealed to be a very serious heart condition. the real world problems poc face when it comes to healthcare are explicitly discussed amongst characters in this episode. the need for poc autonomy surrounding their healthcare is also explicitly stated by the daughter of the older black lady with the heart condition (I'm sorry I don't have names here I genuinely cannot remember them at all because I dont really watch this show, the show in question being 9-1-1 I think)*

'no i dont think it was a race thing tho'

*my brothers and I had been discussing the many ways marvel movies had jumped the shark*

'yeah and im also sick of all that woke crap' (she knows I'm bisexual btw just not about being genderfluid yet)

*grandma hadn't died yet (I believe this was in around october(?)) and had gotten talking about book bans and mentioned The 57 Bus, a book about a real agender highschooler who was burnt alive on a public bus for being queer by a guy who was pressured into it*

'oh but they had gay employees and were really nice to them' (at some point my (great?)grandparents owned a country club)

"idk ig I just like screwing around on my phone"

dad's a tesla driver and would prolly lick elon's boots until they were clean enough to double as mirrors and also made me spend more time than is generally considered useful learning vba and microsoft access (not entirely useless skills tbh but not very helpful because who uses either in the year of our lord that will pay me anything worth a fuck in an Economy™ that is so fucked I don't need to elaborate any more on just how fucked it is rn) oh yeah and as is Freedom-Loving American Tradition he spent more of my childhood at work, sometimes in an entirely different country for said job which is why my parents worry about my bond (or lack thereof) with my dad all the time and yet both refuse to acknowledge that having to work in order to be worth being kept alive is what caused this and can you believe that I made the realization about this part specifically because of the phone guy save button Ness/Ninten's dad in the Mother™ Series™? (on a tangentially related note, official english localized Mother 3 when?)

fr when I'm in that house every bone in my body is telling me I shoulda ran when I was like 10 and never looked back and I know people have had worse than this with their parents but this isn't about them and for that I am sorry but I can't speak for them nor do I wish to downplay my problems

[takeeachdayonebookatatime]

Law and order svu fanfiction

Video killed the pedophile part 8

Elliot: pov A while later while in the bathroom with Liv who is still dizzy and nauseated i hears a key in the front door Liv says it's probably just Bri but could you go check. I'm kind of angry right now that she doesn't want my help. Brian walks into the bathroom after putting the grocery bags on the counter and says to her did you eat yet?'' She says I ate a piece of bread but it did not agree with my tummy. It's still bothering me. He asks how her headache is and if she is dizzy and nauseated. She says yes the room is spinning and my head is pounding. She then asks Brian how his day at work was. He says it was okay, not bad. My boss was nice enough to let me out early. Liv asks Brian how David's wife Martha is doing since having the baby, he says fine David's already back at work which is nice since I was covering his shifts. He asks if she took her nausea pill. Liv says yes but I threw it up a few seconds later. This mundane conversation is getting on my nerves.

Brian: pov Liv says Bri I also need to charge my shirt it got barfed on, I didn't make it to the bathroom in time, I ask her if she needs help changing her shirt. Which she does since she is still dizzy. Elliot mentions that Liv had a bad nightmare last night. He asked her if she wanted to talk about it or not, she said no i'm not ready.

Elliot: pov Brian says it's been a while since you had one do you think something triggered it. Liv says yes probably everything that happened yesterday.

Brian: pov Elliot is staring at Liv all weird, I can tell he is getting very angry. Liv tells him he does not have to stay. Bri's got it from here. But thanks for coming and helping out today. As I help her to her bedroom to change. I can tell Elliot is about to explode once she is settled on the couch, I give her another nausea pill some tylenol since she is due for it and heat up some soup for her. I decided to confront Elliot and ask him what's wrong, outside of her apartment. I make sure to leave the front door open so I can watch her. Elliot says he should be the one taking care of her, he is her partner and all. I mentioned to him, former partner, remember you left her for ten years.

Elliot: pov I hear Liv say Bri I don't feel good I think I'm going to be sick. Brian says to me, Elliot I have to go, Liv needs me.

Ayanna: pov me and Elliot are now on a stake out and I can tell he is very angry about something. I ask him how Liv is. He says fine you should ask Fin or Brian that question. So that's what's bothering him, the fact that she won't let him take care of her. Wow how selfish can Elliot be. He says it ruff at her apartment Fin and Brian are hovering so much he can't even talk to her or help take care of her. Elliot says Fin only called me because McGrath called him in and Brian couldn't get out of work for 2 more hours. Wow I give him some advice about what to do with this Liv situation.

Brian: pov I finally get her to eat some soup, she can't do much with her concussion but sleep and watch a tiny bit of TV. She fell asleep while watching the movie I put on.

Fin: pov I'm so thankful for Brian helping me out, he offered to take tonight that way me and phoebe can have some alone time. She asks me how Liv's doing. I tell her doing okay Brian is spending the night so I get the night off tonight.

Liv: pov it's around dinner time and Bri is trying to get me to eat more soup. I eat a little then head to bed Bri is sleeping on the couch, he wakes me up every few hours to check on me and ask me questions to make sure I'm okay. In the morning while getting water in the kitchen I notice my phone on the counter which I'm not supposed to be on, Bri and Fin are in charge of my phone Dr's orders. I put it into my pocket when Bri is not looking. Back in my bedroom I noticed a few missed texts from Elliot, Bri had mentioned something about it this morning.

Brian: pov Fin is texting me when he can, asking how Liv is doing. While Liv is taking a nap I'm going to take a quick shower.

Elliot: text: How did you sleep last night?

Elliot: text: Want to get out of the apartment for a bit.

Elliot: text: can I call you or is your babysitter near you.

Liv: text : as good as i can with Bri waking me up every few hours

Elliot: text: glad to hear that

Liv: text : will have to ask/tell Brian

Elliot: text: no need to ask I can be there in 40 minutes

Liv: text : he is not my babysitter, and yes you can call Watch yourself detective Stabler.

Liv: text : will call you in a few minutes, let me think about it

Elliot: text: Liv I'm trying to make an effort here, come on.

Liv: pov Bri, Elliot has been texting me he wants to know if he can take me out of the apartment for a bit to get some fresh air.

Brian: pov won't the movement from the car ride make you sick.

Liv: pov Yeah Bri, but he's trying to fix things with me. I have to make an effort also. I call Elliot and tell him he can come over. My head is pounding. Once Elliot arrives I mention being in the car might make me sick. Bri agrees to leave the apartment for 2 hours so me and Elliot can talk and catch up. Bri tells Elliot where the important papers are and in an emergency call him or Fin. Bri kisses me on the forehead and says see you in a bit. To be continued. ………

[drxgonfly]

me: never been in a relationship

me: always being asked for relationship advice

[justabigassnerd]

Anyone else

Pairing - TASM!Peter Parker x reader

Word count - 3,880

Warnings - angst, mentions of a breakup, pining, swearing

Song - Anyone Else by Joshua Bassett

Summary - I did warn y'all I'll go off with Joshua Bassett songs given the opportunity. I've been listening to this song on repeat bc it's just so damn beautiful and bosh a fic idea popped up. I apologise if this is shite because this is my first attempt at writing any sort of pining. Anyways I'll stop rambling, as per y'all, please send in requests, feedback and enjoy!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Peter wanted nothing but the best for you. You’d been best friends since your first day of school when you had approached the shy Peter and asked if he wanted to play with you at recess. The rest was history.

Peter was the best friend you could ever ask for. He went out of his way for you every day despite your protests. He’d always walk you to and from classes, even if it meant he’d be late to his own class. He’d always compliment your outfits, even if you hardly put any effort into what you were wearing. He made you feel like the prettiest person on the planet. He was your person, the one you could go to when times got tough. And you were his person. You were two peas in a pod, and you couldn’t bear to imagine life without Peter Parker in it.

Peter wanted the best for you, but he couldn’t help but be absolutely devastated when you entered your shared flat one day excitedly telling him that someone from one of your university classes asked you on a date. He tried his hardest to match your excitement, telling you how happy he was for you. Peter had gone to bed that night angrily scolding himself for waiting too long to confess the feelings he’d been harbouring for you since high school. He’d waited all this time just for you to get scooped up by someone else because he was too scared to admit his feelings. But because he’s Peter, your best friend since forever, he grinned and bore it. He listened to you gush about how amazing your boyfriend, Jacob was as much as you wanted and gave you advice if you asked for it, not that he would ever consider himself an expert on relationships. Peter wanted to hate Jacob. He wanted to resent the man for scooping you up, but he couldn’t. He took care of you and treated you right. Peter had trailed Jacob as Spider-Man a couple of times in the vain hope he’d discover that he was part of some criminal organisation or just a piece of shit that he could turn in to the police. To his displeasure, Peter found that Jacob was normal. No criminal activity of any kind. Just an average man living in New York.

Peter tried going on a few dates of his own, but no one could compare to you. The people he went out with weren’t necessarily bad people, in fact, he got on well with most of them. They just weren’t you. He couldn’t help but compare every little thing they did to what you would do. One guy he went out on a date with was an expert skateboarder much like Peter. Despite that, Peter couldn’t help but think about how god awful you were at skateboarding. Every time he talked you into stepping onto his board you clung to his shoulder like your life depended on it as he laughed at you. A girl barely paid attention to him on a different date when he spoke about his classes after she asked what he studied. He couldn’t stop thinking about how you always gave him your full attention. It didn’t matter if you were half asleep or that you didn’t quite understand what it was, he was talking about, you always listened. You always preached that you cared because it was something he was passionate about, and he deserved to feel heard.

“How come you haven’t moved in with Jacob yet?” Peter’s sudden question asked during your weekly movie night made you shift your gaze from the tv to him, sat with a bowl of popcorn on his lap as he kept his gaze on the movie.

“You want me to move out?” You ask, your voice small and your heart sinking at the thought of Peter wanting you to move out. You didn’t know what you had done wrong for him to say that.

“No! God, I didn’t mean it to come out like that. That’s not what I meant I swear. It’s just… you’ve been with Jacob a while now and most couples move in together by now. How come you and Jacob haven’t done that yet?” Peter apologises and rephrases, silently hating himself for sounding like he wanted you to move out. You moving out was the last thing he wanted.

“I don’t think we’re at that stage yet. I like him a lot, but I don’t think I’m ready to move in just yet. Besides, I don’t want to move out unless I know you have someone you can live with. I don’t want to leave you alone, Pete.” You say honestly, turning to face Peter as his gaze softens. He puts the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table and pulls you into his arms, resting his chin on the top of your head. You reciprocate the hug, smiling to yourself as you unconsciously nuzzle closer to him, enjoying the warmth and comfort his hugs provide you with. Peter’s hugs felt like nothing could ever hurt you, that the outside world couldn’t touch you while you were safely wrapped up in his arms.

As you curled up in Peter’s arms, he wondered if Jacob’s heart also skipped a beat when you nuzzled closer. He wondered if Jacob wrapped you up in the tightest hugs possible to protect you from the harsh realities of the outside world. Peter knew it was bad, to imagine you were his when he knew you had a boyfriend. But he didn’t care. He daydreamed all day every day what he would do if you were his. How he’d treat you with nothing but love and respect. He loved you so much it was so painful. More painful than any injury he has sustained during his years of being Spider-Man. Holding you so close was intoxicating, the familiar mixture of your perfume and shampoo wafts under his nose, still being able to make him smile and make his heart rush no matter how much he smells the familiar combination.

The comforting silence that had been created between the two of you was disrupted by the ping of your phone, making you sit up and detangle yourself from Peter’s embrace. As you turned to pick up your phone Peter couldn’t help but let his smile drop, knowing exactly who had texted you and knowing he’d never get to be that guy for you.

“Jacob?” Peter asks quietly, hoping against hope that he’s wrong and you’d tell him it’s Gwen. Hell, he’d even hope Harry was the answer. Anyone but Jacob. But he could tell from the smile that crossed your face that it was your boyfriend.

“He asked if I want to go around his tomorrow night.” You say, glancing over your shoulder, regarding Peter softly. Your expression didn’t read that you were asking for permission but rather you were asking if Peter would be okay.

“You should go. I can just patrol a little longer to kill time.” Peter laughs softly, a little heartbroken but not wanting you to miss spending time with your boyfriend just because he had feelings for you. Your smile dropped slightly at the mention of patrolling, it always worried you to no end when he went out as Spider-Man, but you also knew that there was nothing you could do to stop him.

“We should probably head to bed. You’ve got a class at nine and I don’t need to be dragging your lazy ass out of bed.” You laugh after glancing at your phone a second time, noticing the time.

“Have you considered; that my bed is much better than any class.” Peter says with a laugh as you stand up, picking up the near-empty bowl of popcorn and moving to the kitchen while Peter grabs the tv remote and turns the tv off, standing up and moving away from the sofa. You return from the kitchen and see Peter mingling in the living room doorframe.

“Come on Parker, we need our beauty sleep.” You say with a small laugh as you walk past Peter, your shoulder brushing up against his arm as you pass. Peter felt his arm warm up, feeling as if a spark had happened by the mere contact and set his arm alight. By the time Peter had regained focus on the world around him you were just disappearing into your room, calling back at Peter to turn all the lights off as he went before muttering something about the electricity bill under your breath. Peter nodded at your words, remembering stupidly that you couldn’t see him before following your instructions, turning all the lights off before retreating to his own bedroom.

The next evening came way too quickly for Peter’s liking. He wanted his classes to drag on forever so he wouldn’t have to watch you leave to go to your boyfriend’s house. When he returned home from his final class, the sun was just beginning to dip in the sky as he entered the flat and called through the space to announce his return and your head popped around the doorway to the living room with a smile, welcoming him back warmly. God the way his heart soared when you greeted him with that beaming smile of yours, it reduced him to a puddle every time.

“Hey Pete! Were classes, okay?” You ask, watching as Peter kicks his shoes off and shrugs lightly, his bag slipping off his shoulder at the action.

“They were alright. I have a bunch of stuff to do after patrol. Might be an all-nighter type of night.” Peter grumbles, thinking about all the work he has to do for his various classes.

“If you pull an all-nighter, I swear I will flip my shit. Don’t overwork yourself Peter, especially if you’re patrolling a little longer today. You need to take care of yourself.” You scold lightly, a slight pout appearing as you worry about Peter.

“Hey, I’ll be okay. I can handle one all-nighter. I am Spider-Man after all.” Peter says calmly with a smile.

“Spider-Man is still prone to exhaustion, and I don’t want you getting hurt because of it.” You say, approaching Peter and taking his hand gently. Peter’s breath hitched in his throat as your thumb grazed his knuckles.

“I’ll be fine.” Peter whispers, smiling and giving your hand a quick squeeze before dropping it, knowing he’d combust holding your hand any longer.

“Okay… well I should head out. Don’t want to walk to Jacob’s in the dark.” You joke, grabbing your jacket and throwing it on.

“Do I look okay?” You ask just as you reach the door, turning to Peter for approval, worry on your face.

“You look beautiful. You always do.” Peter says softly, a fond smile on his face as your face lights up, crossing over to him and pulling him into a hug.

“Thank you, Pete.” You whisper, squeezing him tight as he presses a quick kiss to the top of your head before letting you pull away. You thank Peter once more with a smile before turning and heading out the door, leaving Peter in the hallway alone. He turns on his heel and heads into his room, grabbing his Spider-Man suit and putting it on. He needed to patrol but he also needed to make sure you made it to Jacob’s flat safely. Once he was suited up, he climbed out his bedroom window and swung onto the roof of a nearby building, finding you walking the streets instantly. He followed you carefully, keeping an eye out for any harm that could come your way but to his relief, you made it to the flat safely. Having ensured your safety, Peter could focus on patrolling. The patrol was uneventful, he stopped a grand total of one mugging and that was all. He eventually returned home earlier than he expected because of the lack of crime and once he was showered and in some comfy clothes, he sat at the desk in his bedroom and resigned himself to getting all his work done. He got on with his work fine, but he couldn’t help but wish you were around to distract him, to force him to take a break because he’s an idiot who doesn’t know when to take a step back and relax for a moment. As Peter worked, he heard the door fly open and he sat up dead straight in an instant, listening intently to who might’ve just entered. His heart leapt into his throat when he heard your small sniffles and he was up on his feet in an instant, throwing his door open and heading to where you were standing in the hallway. He saw you fighting back tears as your eyes met his.

“y/n…” He starts, trailing off when you barrel into him. Wrapping your arms around him and burying your face in his chest to supress your sobs. Without question, Peter led you carefully into your room, sitting on the bed with you beside him. He didn’t force you to speak, he let you cry as much as you needed.

“He broke up with me.” You say without warning as you calm down. Peter could’ve sworn his heart stopped in his chest at your words.

“He what?” Peter questions, tightening his hold on you and fighting to keep his anger in check.

“He broke up with me. It seemed so normal at first. We had dinner and then out of nowhere he told me that he didn’t want to be with me anymore. I think he made dinner because he thought it would soften the blow.” You whimper, burying yourself further into Peter’s embrace, wanting nothing more than to hide away from the world. Peter’s heart was shattering at the sounds of your cries

“He’s an idiot for breaking up with you. He had the best person I know right in his grasp, and he let you go.” Peter grumbles, anger coursing through his veins at how he just broke up with you like that.

“Clearly, I wasn’t that great. He caught feelings for someone else and I can’t fault him for having emotions. I just can’t help but wonder where I went wrong. What did I do to drive him away?” You whisper, shifting so you could look up at Peter, tears glistening in your eyes and staining your cheeks.

“Hey, you did nothing wrong. You’re amazing and you didn’t do anything wrong. It was him. He fell for someone else, and he made the wrong move. Any person would be lucky to have you. You’ll find the right person soon enough.” Peter says, his voice soft and gentle as he rubs a soothing hand up and down your back.

“I was ready to say it, Pete. I was gonna tell him I loved him.” Your whimper made Peter hug you impossibly closer, resting his cheek on the top of your head and rapidly blinking away the tears that threatened to escape his eyes. He didn’t want you to worry about him when you were the one who needed his comfort and support right now.

“I’m so sorry. It’ll be okay. It’ll just take some time and I’m gonna be there every step of the way.” Peter assures, pressing a feather-light kiss to the top of your head. His heart was screaming at him. Screaming for him to confess his feelings for you but his brain rebutted, knowing you were heartbroken, and it wouldn’t be fair to you to just confess his feelings. Right now you needed him to be your best friend, so that’s what he was going to be.

“It’s always been me and you against the world, hasn’t it? We can handle this. I know we can.” Peter continues when you don’t respond, leaning away from the hug slightly so he could address you properly. Your teary eyes met his soft brown eyes as you nodded.

“We can handle this.” You echo, and a small smile crosses both of your faces at your words.

“That’s my girl. Let’s get some rest, shall we? You said something about us needing beauty sleep?” Peter teases lightly with a laugh as you wipe your eyes and chuckle, nodding at his words.

“You better actually go to bed, Parker because if I wake up and find out that you pulled an all-nighter I’m hiding your Spider-Man suit for at least a week.” You manage to joke as you wipe the remainder of the tears from your eyes. Peter noticed you still had some tear stains on your cheeks and out of instinct, tugged his hoodie sleeve over his hand and gently wiped them away before realising what he was doing and pulled his hand away.

“Sorry, you just had some tears on your- I’ll go to bed. You should do the same.” Peter says quickly, releasing you from his arms and moving away carefully before getting to his feet and heading to your door. You say quick goodnight before Peter leaves which he returns hurriedly, leaving you confused about his reaction to his own actions.

In the passing days, Peter let you mourn your relationship. He let you cry on his shoulder if you needed to. Or he’d let you rant about how shitty it was for Jacob to break up with you in that way. No matter the emotion or what you wanted to do, Peter was there to listen and help. He knew you wanted to find your feet again after recently coming out of a relationship, so he didn’t make a move. You didn’t need to be overwhelmed with his confessions when you were still dealing with a breakup.

What Peter didn’t know was that you found yourself falling for him over the days. At first, you thought it was just your heart confusing the platonic love you held for him in your heart with romantic love due to your breakup, but the breakup had changed the way you saw Peter. When Peter offered you a shoulder to cry on or a warm hug when you were down, your heart would skip a beat, buzzing with excitement at getting to be so close to Peter. When the pain from your breakup began to pass and you began to consider dating again, only then did you realise that Peter was the guy you wanted to be with.

You had fallen for your best friend.

After about a month after your breakup and you felt ready to put yourself out there, you decided that you would bring the subject up in front of Peter to see how he felt about it. You valued Peter’s opinion on things like this and you also secretly wanted to see how he’d react. You knew it was wishful thinking, to believe that Peter might like you in the same way you like him, but it was worth a shot.

“I’m thinking of beginning to date again. What do you think?” You say casually as you lie across the sofa one afternoon, looking up at Peter from where your head rested on his thigh. You didn’t see Peter’s slightly widened eyes at your words before he composed himself, looking down at you with his ever gentle gaze.

“Do you feel ready for that?” Peter asks. You could tell there was no malicious intent behind his words, there never was when it came to the two of you, only concern and his slight protectiveness.

“I do, yeah.” You confirm, smiling slightly as he nods, swallowing thickly before he opens his mouth to talk.

“Okay, I need to tell you something. Something important. I like you y/n. As in, more than a friend. I’ve liked you since our senior year of high school and I was always too scared to make a move because I never wanted to lose you. When you started going out with Jacob, I was so mad at myself for letting the kindest, most gorgeous person I know slip from my grasp just like that. And then when you broke up, I knew I’d be a dick if I tried to make a move straight after that, so I waited for you to be ready. Because I don’t want to risk losing you to someone else again. I am done pretending I want anyone else. And if you don’t like what I just said then we can just act like this never happened and just continue being friends because I don’t want to not have you in my life.” Peter rambles nervously as you sit up, your gaze not once leaving his as you shuffle around to face him. Without thinking, you grabbed Peter’s hand and grazed your thumb along his knuckles.

“Peter I… I like you too. More than as a friend. I’ve realised you’re the only guy I want to be with. You’re amazing, and I know I don’t deserve you.” You trail off before Peter hauls you into a hug, resting his chin on the top of your head.

“Don’t say that. You deserve the world and more. You deserve much more than an idiot who swings around the city every day in spandex.” Peter says, his chin digging into your head as he speaks.

“Well, it’s a good thing all I want is an idiot who swings around the city every day in spandex.” You say with a smile, shuffling back and looking up at Peter. He gently leant forward and rested his forehead against yours, gazing softly into your eyes.

“I’d like to take you out on a date. Is tonight, okay?” Peter asks with a cheeky smile, laughing quietly as you nod against his head.

“Tonight is more than alright, Mr Parker.” You reply, laughing as Peter pulls away, rolling his eyes jokingly.

“How about I take you to that little restaurant that’s not too far from here? It’s not too expensive but it’s still a nice place.” Peter offers, stretching back and looking over at you.

“Sounds perfect Pete.” You grin, moving back into his arms when he opens them up and gestures for you to come closer. You smile to yourself as you rest your head on his chest, his heart was beating quickly, still overwhelmed with the confessions.

Peter couldn’t believe that you reciprocated his feelings. He was now holding you in his arms with the knowledge that you wanted him the same way he wanted you. With you in his arms, it felt like the whole world had melted away and it was just the two of you. No outside world to call Peter to action or bother you. As he held you, he thought about how he was going to be the best boyfriend ever for you. He loved you with his whole heart and he’d make sure you felt loved and always had a smile on your face. He’d lay down his life for you because of all the love he held for you in his heart. He didn’t want to even imagine being with anyone else but you.

Peter Parker was well and truly in love with his best friend.

Correction. His girlfriend.

[multifandomlvr]

Should've Listened

It would be best if you listened to Midoriya when he told you to ensure you had everything before going to work.

He made a list, and of course, being who you are, you're stubborn and told yourself that you wouldn't get cold and would make it back in time before the snow got heavy.

Boy, were you wrong.

The snowflakes started small on your walk back from work, just a little flurry. Then as you went on, the snowflakes got a bit bigger until you were just two blocks away from your apartment, and it was a full-blown blizzard.

And here you are in a tiny coat with a hat. You didn't bring your heavy coat as Midoriya told you to and didn't grab the gloves. You mentally kicked yourself. Why didn't you listen?

The snow was coming down so hard that it became difficult to walk, making your trek home longer.

It seemed like it took years to finally reach the apartment you and Midoriya shared, but you made it.

When you opened the door, the wind picked up and made it a bit difficult to close the door. So you had to put your weight on it even though you could barely feel your fingers.

"Puppy? Is that you? I was starting to get-"Midoriya started but stopped once he got a look at you.

You gave him a cheeky smile.

"I-I'm H-ho-home…" You stuttered out. You were lucky you got anything out with how bad your teeth were chattering because of the cold.

"Omg! Puppy! What happened?" Midoriya asked you. He walked closer to you to help you undress. Once the wet, cold clothes were off. Midoriya handed you a blanket, picked you up, and snuggled you close. He was briskly walking to the bathroom.

"Sit right here, and I'm going to run you a bath and get you some warm clothes." He said as he sat you on the toilet.

Like you could go anywhere, your legs were frozen, but it made you laugh.

While Midoriya went to grab some clothes, you watched the tub fill up; it looked so inviting.

"Alright! Here we are!" Midoriya said as he came back into the bathroom. He was carrying your favorite lazy day PJs and fuzzy socks.

"When you are all done. I will have the blankets set up for you with some hot soup, ok?" He asked you. You smiled and nodded at him. He left the bathroom so you could undress.

You stood up, taking off your wet and damp clothing until you were completely undressed, and then you slowly sunk into the water. You were enjoying how warm it felt as you submerged yourself.

You closed your eyes.

This felt so nice; you felt good but also felt terrible. You didn't listen to Midoriya when he was looking out for you.

About half an hour later, you were warmed up and decided to get out and get dressed.

When you walked out to the living room, Midoriya had done what he said he would do. Your favorite blankets were lying on the couch with a tv tray in front of it.

You wiggled your way inside the little blanket cocoon.

"Aww, you look so cute!" Midoriya commented and put the soup in front of you, and he had a bowl for himself.

You said thank you and then dug in. It was your favorite. Everything Midoriya did just made you feel even worse.

"I'm sorry…." You said out loud. Midoriya turned towards you.

"Sorry for what?" He asked.

"I didn't listen when you told me to take my jacket and gloves." You told him. Midoriya smiled softly and patted your head.

"It's ok, puppy; I forgive you. I was just worried, and I don't want you to get sick." He explained. You sniffled, knowing the tears were coming, and you couldn't help it.

Midoriya got up, moved the tray so it didn't spill, and sat closer to you so he could hold you.

"I'm not mad at you, puppy, I promise. I'm glad you're home safe with me. That's all I can ask for. I hope you listen to my advice next time." Midoriya teased. That made you laugh.

"I promise you I will." You told him.

"Good, let's finish our soup so we can cuddle and watch this new movie I bought." He told you, and you nodded your head excitedly and finished your soup quickly.

[mediocre-writerr]

who do you love [lexi howard]

lexi howard x reader

requested: Hiii! I just discovered your page while looking for Euphoria fics. I saw that you don’t have any Lexi Howard fics. Could I request a fic where Reader is partnered up with Cassie for a project or something and they meet Lexi and develops a crush on her, but Lexi is clueless and thinks reader has a thing for Cassie? Fluff please. Also your works are absolutely amazing!

a/n: italicized are rue's voiceover

*not my gif*

Lexi has always lived in the shadows of her sister. Every guy or girl she liked just never fell for her. They always fell for her sister. Cassie was the one in the spotlight and Lexi was just the background character.

You sat there with your earbuds in as your teacher went on and on about some project you guys had to do. But again, you weren't exactly listening.

Until he came over and ripped your earbuds out of your ear. You looked up at him with innocent eyes, "Ms. Y/L/N, you're partnered with Ms. Howard. Hopefully, she'll be able to fill you in since you weren't paying attention,"

You sent him a small smile before trudging your way over to Cassie. You heard a lot of things about her, but you didn't really care what everyone thought around here. Most of them were assholes anyway.

"So were you paying attention to anything he was saying?" you asked as you plopped down into the seat next to her.

"Not a word, but my friend Kat heard all of it. If you want you can come over tonight, we can start working on it, getting it over with," she offered and you nodded. 

“Sounds great,”

You see this was the start of a beautiful friendship for Y/N and Cassie. They became as thick as thieves. Everyone thought that Y/N and Cassie would eventually get together, but the entire time Cassie was just trying to get her newly found best friend to admit feelings for her sister. 

And those feelings started, cheesy to say, but at first sight.

You knocked on the Howard’s door, bouncing on the balls of your feet. You didn’t really know how to feel, Cassie was popular and well you? Not so much.

The door swung open and you swore your jaw dropped all the way to the floor. You were met with the younger Howard sister. She was beautiful. Her beautiful brown hair fit perfectly with her fair skin.

“You must be Y/N?” she says, snapping you out of your daze.

“Yeah, that’s me. Hi, Lexi, right?” you asked, stepping into the house as she held the door open.

“Yeah. Cassie went out with Maddy, but she texted me and said she’s on her way back. You can come in, you don’t have to wait outside like a dog,” she joked and you laughed together softly.

The two of you sat together on the couch. Your eyes gazed to the TV to see her watching Crazy Rich Asians. One of your favorite movies of all time. The screen was showing the montage of Rachel trying on all the different dresses for the wedding.

“This movie is a masterpiece,” you tell her.

She nods, “This is my first time watching it and I’m completely sold,” 

“Oh, you haven’t even gotten to the best part yet. The wedding scene is-” you put your fingers to your lips and kiss them, “Chef’s kiss!” 

“Hmm, I’ll have to take your word for it,” she said.

You continued watching as the wedding scene started. Lexi’s eyes were glued to the TV, but yours kept drifting towards Lexi. The way she watched intently as Kina Grannis started singing “Can’t Help Falling In Love”.

The scene ends and she looks at you, tears boarded at her eyes, “Why am I going to cry?” she laughed.

“Because it’s one of the most beautiful scenes in history,” you told her. 

The two of you just stared at each other. Her doe brown eyes were captivating and you couldn’t help your eyes from drifting down to her lips. There was a moment where you thought she did the same thing. 

The door bust open filled with laughter and Cassie and Maddy’s eyes landed on the two of you, “Hey Y/N, sorry I’m late. I see my sister was able to keep you company,”

“Oh yeah, Lexi was great. It was nice meeting you, I’ll see you around,” you told her. 

You see, my best friend Lexi developed a crush on Y/N right after that. But despite me and Jules telling her constantly that she felt the same way, Lexi still thought that you fell for her blonde sister and not her. 

“Cassie! I am not telling your sister that I like her. She does not feel the same way that I do. I am not going to risk my friendship that I’ve built with her and you,” you told her as the two of you laid on the bed in her bedroom.

She looked at you with her blue eyes like you were on drugs, “Are you kidding me right now? You sound like you just bought something from Fez. I’ve never seen my sister look at anyone the way she looks at you. You need to stop being a fucking coward and just tell her how you feel,”

“Okay, what if she does want to be my girlfriend? What if something bad happens? I lose the both of you and I can’t do that. I don’t want you to choose between me and your own sister,” you whispered.

Your heads were slightly tilted towards each other as you just stared at her, “I think you need to take advice from your favorite movie: you’re not playing to win, you’re playing to not lose. So play to win. Don’t think about the what if’s and even if things go south with my sister, I found a sister in you. You’re not gonna lose me either,” she said, “You’re one of my favorite people in the entire world, possibly my favorite, don’t tell Maddy that though. I love you so much Y/N,”

Little did the two of you know that Lexi was at the door way. She didn’t hear anything besides that you’re Cassie’s favorite person and that she loves you. 

“Awww someone loves me,” you nudge her shoulder, “But I’m for sure going to tell Maddy that I’m your favorite person. She’ll have a field day with that one,”

She pushed your face away from her, “You will not! I’ll just tell Lexi myself then,” 

You gasped, “You wouldn’t dare!” 

“Then you do it!” she exclaimed. 

Lexi avoided Y/N after that day. She also avoided Cassie. The two girls didn’t know why the brunette Howard was avoiding them. All they knew was that she avoided them every chance that she got.

It broke Y/N’s heart. She was finally ready to tell Lexi how she felt. And now, she wants nothing to do with her. No more movie nights. No more random ice cream days. But rather, Y/N going over to visit Cassie and being disappointed when their mom would answer the door and not Lexi.

You finally caught up to her as she was trying to sprint past you in the hallway. You grabbed her wrist and she looked back at you. The first time actually seeing those beautiful eyes of hers in weeks.

“What did I do? I understand if you don’t want to talk to me. I understand if you don’t want to be my friend, but please just tell me what I did. That’s the least I deserve,” you whispered, your voice breaking at the thought of losing one of your best friends. 

She shook her head, “Nothing, you didn’t do anything,” 

“I obviously did something, you’re not talking to me!” you exclaimed. 

Lexi broke free of your grasp, “You don’t need me Y/N. You have my sister. Cassie always wins. She’s always been in the spotlight. She always gets the guys and girls. Everyone I’ve ever liked, she went for them. And she always wins. I just thought for once that I mattered. That for once, the person I fell in love with chose me, but I guess I was wrong,” 

She stormed away and you were left with your mouth agape. Everything she said twirling in your brain. You immediately told Cassie all of it and your brain worked together to try and figure out a way to win her back. Until it all finally clicked.

You stood outside in the backyard of the Howard’s house. A slip n slide was in the path leading to you, switch on candles. You sat on the opposite side with a guitar in your hand. Luckily, you can play. 

Singing on the other hand, well let’s just hope it goes well.

“Cassie, I already said I don’t want to talk to you! You can’t bribe me with Bob Ross tutorials!” Lexi’s voice echoed as she closed the backyard door. 

She spotted you sitting there and she was immediately about to go inside when you yelled out to her, “Lexi please! Just let me explain, it’ll take maybe three or four minutes of your time,” 

Lexi walked down the slip n slide, but not before falling on her butt and sliding towards you. You let out a roar of a laugh as she finally reached down to you. She tried hard to fight off a laugh and a smile, but you could see it faintly. 

When you finally came down from your high she looked at you with raised eyebrows, “Well, I’m waiting,” 

You started playing the guitar. The melody you learned just hours before playing from the guitar. You took in a deep breath as you started singing the infamous song that got you to fall in love with her in the first place. 

“So, take my hand, take my whole life too. For, I can’t help falling in love with you. For, I can’t help falling in love with you,” you finish the song.

The two of you look at each other as you place your guitar down next to you, “You do matter to me, Lexi. More than you know. I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you, but ever since the first night I met you I’ve always been in love with you,” 

“Cassie actually told me that I need to play to win. And if I had to slip on my ass a thousands times trying to set up this low budget recreation of the wedding scene in Crazy Rich Asians, I would. I did it because I need to win your heart, because Lexi, you already have mine,” 

A small smile breaks out onto her face as she closes the distance between the two of you. She kissed you ever so softly as you tasted the sweet taste of her lips. 

“And you have mine,” 

[buckys-black-dress]

all the signs i don't read

a/n: guys!!! I'M OFFICIALLY DONE WITH MY FIRST YEAR OF UNI! i'm sooo happy to finally be done, i can focus on writing more for you guys this summer :) here's a lil somethin' i whipped up after my last final today. enjoy! xoxo, ali <3

wc: 2.5k words

[bucky barnes x fem!reader]

read part two here!

-

You never thought anything of it.

You never thought anything of it when every time someone would come into the room, Bucky would act like he couldn't stand being touched by you.

It was little things, at first.

You would be in the kitchen in the morning, making coffee for him and you. He would be holding you from behind, whispering sweet nothings in your ear. And then Steve, or someone else, would walk into the room.

And he would shake off your touch, like you were poison.

It never hurt less.

But it's not like you could ever make a scene out of it, or anything. Because nobody even knew you and Bucky had been dating for the past two months.

You had no one to turn to in this situation. No one knew you two were together, and you kind of messed this up for yourself when you agreed to all of this at the beginning of your relationship. Bucky had told you he wasn't really ready for PDA, and you had told him, in a haste, that it was fine.

But after two months of extremely close calls, your patience was wearing thin, and you know it sounds bad. But you've been extremely careful with him, always asking asking him if everything was okay before going further with anything involving physical touch. You always made sure you weren't crossing any boundaries, but it was starting to get frustrating.

You couldn't understand why Bucky could get all touchy-feely with Steve and Natasha when he felt like it, but was practically gagging at your touch.

You were currently cuddled up on his bed, watching a movie. You were on cloud nine, basking in the warmth of your boyfriend's touch. This was one of the rare instances where he would let you get this close. It was nice, and you made sure to always take advantage of it if the situation presented.

You could feel Bucky's gaze fixed upon you as the colors of the TV screen reflected onto your skin. Your eyes dip down to his, and a warm smile graces your face as your eyes meet.

You couldn't ever put into words how happy Bucky made you. You had liked him for so long before he even asked you out, and you were over the moon the day he had brought up wanting to take you out.

It was another night of dinner with just the two of you. Everyone else was on a mission, and since you two were the only ones left, you had decided to make the decision to make food for the both of you.

"James?" Your voice resounded through the empty kitchen and dining room.

"Yeah, honey?" He answered, painting your face red in a blush.

"Do you... just- nevermind." You shake your head, looking back down at your plate.

"Hey, look at me." He says, putting his hand over yours. "I was actually tryin' to figure out how to ask you this..."

Your brows are pulled together, wondering what he was talking about.

"Whatever it is, you can tell me, James." You reassure him. You were grateful that he was such a good friend to you, and that he trusted you enough to open up to you.

"I was wonderin'... would you like to... go out on a date with me sometime?" He asks, holding your gaze.

You're sure you look like a fish out of water right now, your mouth opening and closing in shock. He wanted to ask you out?

"I just... I like spending time with you, I like how you call me James, I like how you don't judge me and how long it's taken me to get comfortable here. I like how kind you are, and how you've always asked the others to be patient with me, so... would you like to go out on a date with me?" He held such hope in his eyes.

"I... I would love to, James." You reply after a moment of silence.

"I'm so happy you said yes." He smiles warmly. "But just... don't mention it to anyone? I don't want Steve or Sam on my case. You know how they can be sometimes." He smiles, and you nod at his request.

"Of course, James. I don't ever want to make you feel uncomfortable, we can go at your pace." Your tone was soft and understanding.

"Thanks, doll. You don't understand how much it means to me." Bucky returns your soft smile, and scoots his seat closer to yours.

His gaze was fixed on you, and while you were playing over the time in your head, Bucky leans in and pecks your lips gently.

"Hm, what're ya thinkin' of, honey?" He questions, sensing your mind was elsewhere.

"I was just thinking of that night when... when you first asked me on a date. How sweet you were." You smile coyly, leaning back in for another kiss.

Your stomach fluttered at Bucky's hum of approval at your actions. He deepened the kiss, motioning for you to fully sit on his lap. Bucky gently placed each of your legs on the sides of his thighs, his hands grasping your hips.

As he stared from your eyes to your lips, back up to your eyes, you felt lightheaded. This was the most intimate the two of you have gotten so far, and you feel the butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

Soon enough, your lips are back on his, moulding onto his like you two were made for each other. Although you two loved watching movies together in each others' rooms, (to avoid prying eyes, of course) you have never been so close to him before like this.

You felt yourself getting high on his affection, and once you had it, you didn't think you could ever go without it.

As Bucky's grip on you tightens, your hands move up to his shoulders, also moving to grasp them. Your hips move with a mind of their own, grinding against his lap.

You didn't think anything of it, but Bucky freezes at the action. His hands stop their gentle strokes along your sides. His lips pause their actions, and you feel him pulling away.

Both physically and emotionally.

"James, is everything alright?" You ask wearily, truly perplexed. Everything was going so well...

"I just... I can't do this, Y/N. I- I'm so sorry... I can't do this with you." He leans back, and limply moves his hands to flop onto the bed at his sides.

"O-Oh," Your voice breaks as you process his words. He didn't want you. This has all been a joke to him. Even in private, your touch made him uncomfortable.

"I... I have to go." You slide off Bucky's lap, gathering your belongings from the end of his bed and rushing out the door.

Without even a glance behind you, the door slams, and Bucky is sat dumbfounded on his bed. Why did I do that? He thinks to himself. Why did I say that to her?

As tears filled your eyes, you just pray that no one will see you. Unfortunately, your room was on another floor, and you think the stairwell would be the best option to avoid people at this point in time.

But of course, as fate has it, Steve is taking the stairs up. You can tell he's probably just returned from his nightly run, as he's sweating through his shirt.

You quickly wipe your eyes, hoping they look too puffy. Your nose was probably red, too, but just sniffle to clear it.

At the sound of your nose, Steve's head shoots up. Your eyes meet, and you plaster on possibly the fakest smile you've ever produced.

"Steve! How was your run?" You ask enthusiastically, trying to make it seem like you were just fine.

"Yeah, it was good. Took a bit of a longer route today. What are you doing here? You never take the stairs." He asks with a raised brow.

"I uh... I was watching a movie, and I had some snacks that were sitting a little heavy on my stomach. I thought a flight of stairs or two could do me some good." You shrug, trying to look as unsuspecting as possible.

"Are you sure you're alright? Your eyes seem a little red." Steve counters. He could feel that something was off.

"Y-Yup, I was watching a sad movie, you know how I get." You give a fake laugh, turning back around. "I have to head back, but good talk, Steve. Enjoy the rest of your night!" You practically yell while walking away from him.

The door of the stairs close behind you in a haste, and you take a moment to take a deep breath. You hated lying, but it's not like you could've said anything to Steve. He had no clue about anything having to do with you and Bucky.

While you locked yourself away to your room for the rest of the night, Bucky was still trying to process the events. How in the matter of a minute, he managed to shift your entire relationship. He was kicking himself, trying to figure out how to fix this. He couldn't seek out advice from Steve like he normally would in situation like this, or ask Natasha. Usually, she was the one to help him when it came to women these days.

But now, he was on his own.

And he was fucked.

So, he had two options.

One, go to Steve. Confess everything; dating you for the past two months, admit he was an idiot and didn't want anyone to know. Realize it would've been fine if everyone knew because everyone loved you. Try to win you back.

Or two, try to get you back on his own. And let's be honest, that option was not looking too good. Clearly, Bucky was clueless in this topic.

So now, he was left to stew.

That night, you drifted into a dreamless sleep with a heavy heart and a tear-soaked pillow.

-

The next few days were... rough, to say the least.

You could barely drag yourself out of bed. You would leave your warm blankets and pillows around eleven each day, which was unheard of for you. Natasha and Wanda would stop you on your way to the kitchen, and try to pry the problem out of you.

Sweetie, this isn't healthy for you.

Honey, just tell us what's wrong. We're here for you.

Y/N, we're worried about you. We love you, but you look horrible.

That last on made you crack a smile, but shook your head and headed in to make yourself a coffee.

For the first time in two months, you were only making coffee for you.

And fuck, was it killing you.

You so badly wanted someone to wrap you up in a hug, rub your back, and tell you it was okay. To tell you your touch was comforting, that they wanted to be close to you.

But of course, fairytales weren't real. You were alone again, and it seemed that it would stay that way for a long time.

No matter what you did, all you could hear in your head was James' words. I'm sorry, I can't do this with you. With you. With you. With you.

And you couldn't help but wonder. What was it about you that was so repulsive to him? You were understanding from the beginning. You just thought he wasn't ready for PDA, that he just wanted his privacy, you understood.

But what you didn't get was how James could have asked you out on a date, how he could've kissed you, for fuck's sake, and yet be so ashamed to be seen with you.

So you allowed yourself to only wallow for five days. You only gave yourself these next five days to feel sorry for yourself, whatever you needed to be pathetic for a few days, but that's it. After that, no more.

You were tired of feeling like you weren't good enough for anyone, like you were a burden. You were an amazing person, and if some people couldn't see that, it wasn't your problem.

You were done.

-

During your five days, you hadn't seen Bucky once. And of course, as your luck would have it, day two brought you your ex-boyfriend.

All in his glory, in the kitchen.

With not one, but two mugs of coffee.

His eyes meet yours, and you see a light in his. But you made sure you were quick to put that out.

"Do you need something, Bucky?" You all but sneer, and his soft smile drops.

"I just... I was about to bring you some coffee. Just how you like it, iced and black." He tries the smile again.

"No thank you, I'd rather make it myself." You turn your stare to the coffee machine, grabbing a capsule and sticking it in the machine before sliding it shut.

Bucky just stands there, dumbfounded. Again.

This seems to be a trend with you.

"Y/N, come on. Let's just sit down and talk about this. Let's go to your room, or maybe mine-" He begins, but you couldn't be bothered with him anymore.

"You know what, Bucky? No. If you want to talk, we can do it out here, for anyone to see. What are you afraid of? Me? Scared that someone will see you with me? God forbid, someone sees that you like me, right? God fucking forbid someone actually is proud-" your voice cracks in an ugly way, and even though you don't want to seem weak in front of him, you continue, "proud to be with me. I gave myself time. Time to understand why on Earth you seemed so... so disgusted to be with me. So ashamed.

And I got over. I am not going to let you make me feel like I'm anything less of a great person, and anyone would be lucky to have me. So screw you, and your secret relationships. I'm done."

By the end of your speech, tears had definitely made it down your cheeks, and your coffee was long forgotten as you turned to move out of the kitchen.

Bucky's eyes had widened at your words, realizing the weight of his mistake. He had made you feel so small, so repulsive and you thought all those things about yourself were true.

But they couldn't have been further from it.

Bucky loved you. He had only had you for two months, but in that short time, he was so hellbent on keeping you a secret. On showing the others that he wasn't weak, that he was still a big, tough guy. That he didn't need a girl to comfort him, or to help him through the nightmares.

But you were the best thing he ever had, and now you were slipping away.

But if Bucky is anything, he's a determined man. And he's determined on getting you back.

-

a/n: aw shit, what's gonna happen?? don't worry, i would never leave y'all hanging like this. part 2 will be coming shortly :) in the meantime, enjoy whatever this is. love, ali <3

read part two here!

[chiliiscereal]

May I offer a prompt of how the turtles would be with a mom friendTM? you know the type I mean? like.... I think they might benefit from that kind of friend in the group lol (also I love your stories, your such a cool writer keep up the awesome work!)

Rottmnt headcanon: mom friend TM

And thanks so much!

Mom friends are severely underrated XD

——

-Okay these boys need a mom friend badly

-but that’s where you come in!

-as the mom friend you keep them safe in many ways

Donnie💜

-starting with this guy, he never really wanted a mom friend

-when April first brought you over he was cold

-didn’t even bother talking to you

-you were determined to befriend him, even though he left whenever you tried to talk to him

-you became comfortable with the turtles quickly and the others accepted your mom friend nature

-not Donnie though

-he didn’t hate you, sure, but you were too much

-you were too overbearing and too nervous for his safety!

-you’d make him wear a helmet when he used his jet pack 

-you made him put on SUNSCREEN whenever he went outside

-you told him to be careful when rewiring a project even!

-it’s like you wanted to ruin his bad boy image

-he hated it and wanted you to stop being so smothering

-…

-…until he realized that attention and moral support comes with the smothering

-the moment he realizes that he’s all for it

-he’s no longer hiding his inventions from you so you won’t bug him, but he’s seeking you out for your advice and praise

“Hey so I made this and… I don’t know…”

“Wow you built that? It’s awesome!” 

“Really? I mean, I know, I just wanted to show you that it was.”

-praise ain’t something this boy has

-have you SEEN how his brothers react to his ideas?

-he needs this

-with praise comes affection

-I’m talking homemade snacks and questions that his brothers never ask

-you’re there if he needs a cup of coffee or if he hasn’t eaten in a while or taken a nap

-“don, it’s been two days since you slept go to bed.”

-“*hissssss*”

-“I’ll make a cup of coffee for you after...?”

-“*hisses but less intense*”

-you may be good at making snacks and everything

-very good in facts

-but the questions are probably his favorite part

“Woah what’s that supposed to do?”

“Well it’s a device that’s meant to fix all the broken McDonald’s ice cream machines.”

“That’s amazing! What did you use to build it? How does it work?”

-you’re actually trying to learn about his work!

-you’re trying to learn about him!

-he loves it

-and he loves that you’re careful to

-it’s a nice change from his brothers

-you’re someone he can depend on

-doesn’t matter if it’s missions or just being a good friend

-and I mean it when I say depend

-you’re there when he needs help rewiring something or just to simply talk about his dumb dumb brothers

-honestly April isn’t even mad that Donnie stole one of her best friends

-she knows he needs this

-Donnie fully learned to trust you after the purple dragons mishap

-you told him they were untrustworthy but his heart was dead set on that satin jacket

-when he came back to the lair, late at night, with no satin jacket and a handful of his missing tech, he found you raising an eyebrow at him from where you had sat to wait for him

-he knew from then on to trust you and your opinions, even though his often got in the way

-you can often be found sitting on Donnies bed while he works, offering your company and comments

-Normally no one else is allowed in while he works but that’s just because they don’t have anything positive to provide

 Raph❤️ 

-Raph IS the mom friend

-your mom friend energy and his mom friend energy just work together so well together

-I’m talking planning missions together, figuring new ways to trick his brothers into being responsible, cleaning the dishes, and even making snacks together

-“so the mission is tomorrow right?”

-“yep! Should we bring apples with peanut butter or pretzels with hummus?”

-“well Donnie doesn’t like peanut butter, but Mikey does, so both?”

-“awesome! And you’ve got the water covered?”

-“dude I even have caprisuns packed so we’re ready!”

-the others find it to be too much with the two of you but Raph really appreciates the help

-especially during the pizza puff episode

-oh that part nearly set you on fire with worry

-Raph had never seen you that worked up

-you had a fan for Leo, a bowl for Mikey, and a bag of fruit snacks for Donnie

-Raph has to activate his supreme mom friend energy to get you to stop hovering over them

-that meant literally dragging you away from them so they could figure things out on their own

-he’s seen you be a mom friend to them all the time

-but never once for him

-you two were like... co mom friends working together to stop the younger irresponsible three

-until Raph got separated in the sewer

-oh man you were torn with worry

-you nearly destoryed the place looking for him

-and finding him all savage like that... ack that was enough to practically shatter your heart in two

-once he stopped trying to barbecue villains and destroy his brothers you took him to the lair and helped him calm down

-you even turned on a movie for the two of you so he could relax

-it was nice to have your best friend and partner in stopping crime back

-Raph of course was embarrassed because it’s HIS job to help everyone, not the other way around

-after much assurance you had him convinced that you didn’t mind

-he was grateful to have you and your help

-he just wished you didn’t worry quite so much

Leo 💙:

-this boy is soaking it all up from the start

-someone to compliment him?

-someone to help him out?

-someone to admire his achievements?

-oh he’s all for it

-he’s showing off skateboard stunts, he’s doing flips, and he’s randomly pulling you to him and creating a portal

-usually you end up somewhere sketchy but sometimes it works out

-you always have to be ready though

-one minute you’re walking to the projector room and the next you’re in New Jersey with a sheepish looking red slider

-his only problem is now he has to be more careful with skateboard tricks

-he’s fine with a helmet but when it comes to you hovering next to him while he’s going down the skate ramp...

-eh he’s not so fond of that

-praise?

-sure

-home made gifts and cards?

-always appreciated

-but you constantly trying to protect him from things he knew how to do?

-no

-just no

-now he only feels like he can skate if you’re not there or if he goes to a skate park without telling you

-you figure out quickly and still worry that he’ll mess up a flip

-doesn’t matter if you’re watching or not

-you’re the mom friend

-your job is to worry

-you promised that you’d stop worrying about him if he can back

-you didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable in his own home!

-he agreed and you did your best to keep your promise

-...

-until he actually messed up a flip

-you don’t know WHAT he landed on but it must have been sharp because there was a LOT of blood

-maybe you thought there was a lot because you were so worried but still

-you hadn’t even been in the room but you heard his shout (and crash) and you came running

-oh he was lucky you carried gauze and everything in your bag because other wise they’d have to go buy some

-you chewed him out while patching him up, much to his displeasure

-you’re both sweet and sour about it

-“I’m fine! Look, nothing’s broken!”

-“I TOLD you that you could get hurt! I TOLD you it wasn’t safe! Why did you not listen- I’m sorry does that hurt? I’m sorry!”

-“yeah it does hurt-.”

-“than you should have listened to me!!”

-for a while he’s bitter that you were just waiting for him to mess up

-clearly you thought he was just a big clutz to you

-but after a while of him avoiding you and pouting you brought it up again

-“I’m not just waiting for you to fail you know. I just want you to be okay.”

-“that’s not what it feels like! You clearly don’t trust me!”

-“life happens, Leo! Doesn’t matter how skilled you are! You’re an amazing skater but sometimes mistakes are made!”

-ha that changed his tune quickly

-“you think I’m an amazing and skilled skater?

-you just rolled your eyes and left, not saying anything about his comment

-didn’t matter

-this boy is all smiles for the rest of the day

Mikey🧡:

-he was on board from the very start

-he’s got cuddles, piggy back rides, and his own art fan/critic

-lots of baking and cooking together

-maybe even drawing if he’s lucky

-only problem?

-you don’t trust him to go out on his own

-even if it’s just to grab a video game from the store or pick up pizza

-“I’m just going down the block!”

-“what if someone sees you?”

-“I’ll be careful!”

-“just let me go with you.”

-“no! I can do this on my own!”

-you’re always offering to give him a ride or tag along just because you don’t want anything to happen to him

-that means, of course, sneaking out

-not for a long time, just enough to get some air

-but that also means you’re staying up late waiting for him to come back

-he’s your buddy!

-you can’t let anything happen to him!

-he didn’t know about it until he found you cashed out on the couch with the lamp still on

-normally you gave him an excuse about why you were still up, such as a late night snack or a movie

-but your phone and the tv were both off

-he decided to think nothing of it until he noticed that you were grumpier in the mornings

-he didn’t want his actions to affect you so he started coming back earlier

-even texting you and telling you he was fine

-you two talked and set up a deal

-he could go out by himself and you wouldn’t stay up late waiting for him as long as you had his location on your phone

-it was easier for both you from then on

[sortasirius]

“Despair” and Dean and Cas

Well well well, winning is my favorite thing.

As usual, this is going to be as long as hell. And fair warning, it’s extremely emotional.

So here it is, the thing that we have been barrelling towards for years, literally years.

Just want to point out this.  Also, I will NEVER allow someone to speak negatively about this writing group, EVER.

Team Free Dads starting off the episode is so sweet, so scary.  Cas’ calming, Dean’s fear, Sam’s desperation, really just hammering home how much they love Jack, how his pain is pain for them, how losing him is unbearable.

“I can’t stop this.  I’m coming apart.  I don’t want to hurt you.  Don’t let me hurt you.”

Oof.  If you’ve ever question whether Jack is a Winchester, this line should shut that shit down for you.

When I tell you I was PISSED when Billie sent Jack to the Empty to EXPLODE?????  PAIN.

“Yeah the Empty can’t come to earth, not without being summoned.”

Hello Bobo, clue number 1.

The fact that they only had Jack in limbo for like five seconds was great for my heart health, thank u very much Bobo.

Also Dean wielding Death’s scythe?????? KING?????

Man, Sam and Dean’s growth.  The way that they’re able to, idk, actually speak on how they feel without death looming or fear or pain.  It’s just a conversation, just an honest conversation of Dean admitting his mistakes, admitting how he felt.  Admitting that he fucked up, and Sam forgiving him for it.

CHARLIE AND HER GF CHARLIE AND HER GF CHARLIE AND HER GF

Also...hunters and their “dates.”  Two hunters who are happily together, who are happily fighting monsters.  Hm.  Sounds like a Saileen/Destiel parallel to me boys.

You ever wish Cas would look and the mirror and take the great advice he gives others?  Because I do.  He’s always tried to be “useful” for Sam and Dean, for Jack, always tried to make sure that he’s useful enough that they keep him around.  But what he doesn’t understand, what he’s never understood, is that they need him because of who he is, not because of what he contributes.

Remind y’all of anything?

And here we have Clue Number 2

And then, Sam’s realization.  Eileen.

Did I begin full tilt screaming no in my apartment when he said her name?  Who’s to say?

How can a lock screen cause me this much pain????

Okay but: Charlie loses Stevie, Sam loses Eileen.  Clue Number 3.

I feel like I don’t talk enough about how much Sam loves Eileen.  About how obvious it is that they are endgame, about how happy he is when he talks about her.  This just feels like a blow to the stomach, but we’ve barely even started.

Sam immediately shifting into protective leader mode?  He is the love of my life.

Dean’s simple nod, like it’s a given?  Enough to do me in right there.

This is another episode where it’s just so clear that Sam is the leader of the North American hunters.  Everyone knows him, everyone is willing to follow him.  He’s knowledgeable and kind and fair and just and an incredibly capable fighter.  Once again, I don’t believe his work on earth is done.

Can we also please talk about how FRIGHTENING IT WAS for Jack to kill that plant???  I don’t really have much of a comment on it because I was literally just like ?????

With Billie saying that it’s Chuck, the way that people were dusted, very similar to Becky and Amara, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised, especially with Donna getting taken off the board.  It’s like I said last week, I don’t buy that he’s taken himself off the board, he’s too invested in the unraveling of this story to take a step back.  He’s gotta break them before he can defeat them, that’s the only way.

And here we go, into one of the most painful and surreal things I will ever write about.

Dean’s speech.  His guilt, his regret.  The shame of not only trapping himself, but the pain, the horror of trapping Cas.

“I just lead us into another trap.  All because I, I couldn’t hurt Chuck.  Because I was angry and because I just needed something to kill, and because that’s all I know how to do.”

“Dean-”

“It was Chuck all along.  We never should have left Sam and Jack, we should be there with them now.  Everybody’s gonna die, Cas.  Everybody.  I can’t stop it.”

His narrative arc.  Tied up in a bow.

“She’s gonna get through that door.”

“I know.”

“And she’s gonna kill you and then she’s gonna kill me.  I’m sorry.”

Cas smiles.

Cas knows.  He knows what’ll get them out of this, and he knows that he would do anything in this Universe for Dean Winchester. The human man he fell for.

“When Jack was dying, I made a deal to save him.”

“You what?”

“The price was my life.  When I experienced a moment of true happiness, the Empty would be summoned and it would take me forever.”

“Why are you telling me this now?”

“I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I’ve wondered what it could be, what my true happiness could even look like.  I never found an answer, because the one thing I want, it’s something I know I can’t have. 

“But I think I know, I think I know now...happiness isn’t in the having, it’s in just being.  It’s in just saying it.”

“What are you talking about, man?”

The most selfless thing Cas does in this, and he does a lot of selfless things, is to tell Dean Winchester how impossibly good he is.  To tell him that he is worthy, to tell him that he is adored.

“I know, I know how you see yourself, Dean.  You see yourself the same way our enemies see you.  You’re destructive and you’re angry and you’re broken and you’re daddy’s blunt instrument.  And you think that hate and anger, that’s what drives you, that’s who you are.  It’s not.  And everyone who knows you sees it, and everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love.  You raise your little brother for love, you fought for this whole world for love.  That is who you are.

“You’re the most caring man on earth.  You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know.  You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you outta Hell...knowing you has changed me.

“Because you cared, I cared.  I cared about you, I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack, I cared about the whole world because of you. 

“You changed me, Dean.”

“Why does this sound like a goodbye?”

Dean’s greatest fear. His fear of those loving him leaving him. The terror of being alone.

“Because it is.

The head shake.  Don’t love me.  Don’t love me if it means you’ll leave me, don’t love me, everyone I love leaves me.  Don’t leave me.  Don’t love me.  Don’t leave me.

“Don’t do this, Cas.”

Just like I always thought.  One last look at Dean before the Empty takes him.

“Cas-”

“Goodbye Dean.”

And Dean is left, broken on the floor, unable to answer Sam’s calls, unable to do anything.  It doesn’t matter to him that Chuck has wiped everyone out, it doesn’t matter to him that Sam and Jack might need him.  It doesn’t matter.  It doesn’t matter, because the thing that mattered still hangs on his lips, still waiting to be said, and now he won’t get another chance to say it.

The fact that I am writing this, even with all my spec, with all my analysis of the writers’ room, of their text, of the way Dabb and co had approached this story, nothing could have ever prepared me for this.  Nothing could have prepared me for a three and a half minute, uninterrupted scene where Cas confesses not only that he loves Dean, but that he has always loved him.

I talk a lot about how these writers don’t get the credit they deserve.  Unfortunately, from most of this fandom, they never will.  We will likely never know the fights with the network they had, the steps backward they had to take, the way they had to beg and fight and claw to get this on the screen.  But they did it.  They did it for these characters, they did it for this dinosaur of a show, and yeah, they did it for us.

It was not easy, I can promise you, to get this greenlit.  They had to fight for this, they likely had to call in favors and make threats and quite literally put their careers on the line (you may scoff at that, but WB is a BIG company, especially in the TV/movie world) for this story.  This story of Dean and Cas, the man dragged out of Hell and the angel who fell for him.

I have tons more to say, and will likely have several more posts about this, but I want to leave all my babes who are worried that that was the end for Dean and Cas with some takeaways.

Sam is missing Eileen.  Dean is missing Cas.  That is no longer a fun subtextual parallel, that is it for them.  Their respective endgames are missing, and they will not know their peace until they get them back.  Chuck will not win.  That’s not the story being told, and right now?  He’s winning.  He’s broken them, left them with nothing, left them with an empty world and a hole in each of their hearts where their person (or angel) used to be.

Our show is going to end with “contentment.”  “Contentment” isn’t from Sam and Dean being filled with grief and hitting the open road.  It isn’t Sam getting Eileen back and leaving Dean with no one.  “Contentment” is Sam and Eileen, Dean and Cas.  Together.

[scuttling]

Head Over Feet - Chapter 4

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairings: Aaron Hotchner/Female Reader Spencer Reid/Female Reader (Unrequited) Word Count: 5,180 Chapters: 4/4 Complete Tags: 18+, NSFW, Unrequited love, Protected sex, Oral sex, Vaginal fingering, Rough sex, Friends with benefits, Praise kink, Daddy kink, TW Fire, TW Burns Summary: Falling in love with one of your two closest friends was never something you planned; it only makes sense that falling in love with the other would also come as a complete surprise. *Inspired by/in collaboration with @ssamorganhotchner. Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Link to AO3 or read chapter 4 below! You pat Spencer on the back, rub your hand soothingly over his shoulders. He’s not crying, but he’s clinging to you like a child, and your heart aches for him a little.

“I’m sorry, Spence. I know it’s hard when you care about someone and things don’t work out, especially because of what we do. It’s complicated; sometimes people just don’t understand.”

He shifts out of your embrace, stands up, runs a hand over his face.

“I’ve spent most of my life not being understood. I thought maybe I found someone who finally got me.”

You get him, you muse; you’ve always been the one to translate his info dumps into useful commentary, to sense when he’s overwhelmed, anxious, to pull him back before his emotions get the better of him. You may only be his friend, but dismissing that fact hurts more than it should.

You sigh, step into the kitchen, fill your electric kettle with water and turn it on, pull a box of chamomile tea out of the cupboard.

“I’ll be right back. Watch the kettle,” you say, patting his arm, and you head for the bedroom.

Aaron has his undershirt on, and he sits on the edge of the bed staring at the tv—he’s not so much watching it as just looking at it, and when he catches sight of you in the doorway, he turns it off.

“What’s going on?”

“Chelsea broke up with him,” you explain, wrapping your robe tighter around your body. “He missed a function because of work, and she wasn’t able to see past that. It’s been a point of contention.” You know it’s a bit of a sore subject, even after all this time, because of his divorce; you try to tread lightly.

“I should go,” he says, standing, and instantly your heartbeat races. You step toward him, put your hands on his arms.

“No, don’t go. Aaron,” you say when he pulls back, looking around the room as if forgetting that all of the rest of his clothes are piled by your front door. “Please, I don’t want you to go.”

“He needs you.” His voice doesn’t sound particularly kind or unkind, just flat, and you sigh, reach up and take his face in your hands.

“Hey. I’m making him a cup of tea—to go.” He wets his lips, and you pull him down for a slow, soft kiss, drag it out, breathe against his mouth. “Please stay with me.”

“You want me to stay, and you want him to go,” he murmurs, clarifying, and you nod, kiss him again.

“Yes. Give me ten minutes?” He agrees, and you turn to head back to the kitchen, but he stops you, pulls you close for a kiss so full of hunger it makes your head spin. You wouldn’t have thought you’d have another round in you after all that, but it may not be completely out of the question.

Back in the kitchen, Spencer leans against the counter, waiting for the water to boil. His eyes roam over you, and then the mess on the floor—clothes, shoes… condom wrapper.

“I didn’t realize he was here,” he rasps. “I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have come.”

“It’s alright. I understand.” You walk around him, pull a travel mug down from the cupboard, an unspoken sign that a warmer welcome is not being extended tonight. “You’ll go home and get some sleep. In the morning, call her and apologize for the things you said. The situation may not be as hopeless in the light of day.”

“It feels pretty hopeless,” he counters, and you stand next to him, look up at him.

“There have been times I’ve felt pretty hopeless. You’ll get through it, with or without her.” He rests his elbows on the counter, his head in his hands, frowns exaggeratedly.

“I wouldn’t blame her if she doesn’t take me back. I was a jerk.”

“Love makes us brave and dumb; it’s an unfortunate combination—and you, Doctor, are not used to feeling dumb.” You tap him lightly on the arm, smile softly. “If she gets you as well as you think, she just might understand your reasons for saying what you said.”

“How did you get through it? When we… When I…” He trails off, but you don’t need him to finish; you both know what he means to say. “Because it feels like my heart is literally breaking, even though I know that’s biologically impossible.”

“It wasn’t without effort, or… help.” You think of Aaron in your bedroom, who has been nothing but patient and kind and caring, who has been there through sleepless nights and self-doubt and you being, honestly, a little insufferable; the thought makes you smile. You loop an arm around his, lean against his shoulder. “Or the knowledge that what is meant to be will be. I was meant to love you, Spencer Reid—but only like this: friends, partners, bad movie buddies.”

“I like this,” he agrees, and you stand close until the kettle beeps. You prepare his tea, snap the lid on the cup, hand it over, and he leans down to press a kiss to your cheek. “Okay, I’m taking your advice. Wish me luck?”

“All the luck,” you say with a smile, and then you see him out, close and lock the door behind him. You make a second cup of tea—in an FBI mug, this time—and head back to your bedroom, press the cup into Aaron’s hand where he sits propped up against the pillows.

“Is everything alright?” he asks as you climb onto the bed, curl up against his side.

“I think so; I gave him some advice, he left in better spirits. Whether or not they can work it out is another story. He can take it from here, though.” Aaron takes a sip of tea, hands you the mug, and you take a sip and then set it on your bedside table. “I’m glad you didn’t leave,” you say softly when you turn back to him; you just look up at him for a moment, then wrap your fingers in his t-shirt, pull him close for a slow kiss. “I don’t ever want you to leave, you know?” You brush your nose along his, and he brings a hand to your cheek, kisses you back—it starts as something tender, but becomes steamier as it goes on, until you’re panting, breathless against each other’s lips.

“I don’t want to leave you,” he whispers, and you kiss again, a bit rougher, more desperate, pull his shirt over his head. You sweep your hands over his shoulders, his arms, brush one through his hair.

“Good. Don’t leave me.” You rise to your knees, untie your robe, and he gets his hands inside it, runs them over your body, pushes the robe off and onto the bed. He presses up to pull his boxers off, and you swing a leg over his, straddle his thighs, curl in to kiss him deeply, wet and messy. “Don’t leave me, Aaron,” you breathe, beg against his lips, and you lean forward to slip him inside.

You grip his shoulders, moan as you sink down, and work your hips, pressing kisses to his face and hair. His hands caress you, running up your back, gripping your hair where it falls over the back of your neck. “Oh, baby. Fuck,” he groans as you move up and down, and the hand on your back slides down to press against your ass, to encourage your quick, eager movements. “You’re so good; you feel so good. I’m here, I won’t leave you.”

“Hmm. And I’m yours, right daddy?” You look up at him, chest heaving, grip his hair at the back of his head, and he nods, moves his other hand to your ass as well and squeezes hard; you whimper, tip your head back, slam down roughly.

“You’re mine, kitten, all mine; you belong to daddy.”

“Oh, fuck yes. Yes.” You moan, lean back in his lap, press your hands against his legs, and ride him hard; nothing has ever sounded better than his groans, looked better than his face while you fuck like you haven’t already gotten off twice by his perfect body tonight.

You let your hair fall back, bring a hand up to rest on his flexing stomach, and he surprises you by running his hands over your thighs, then your legs, pushing you up so you have to plant your feet against the bed. He wraps his big hands around your hips, takes control and moves your body up and down on his cock, your ass meeting his thighs with each of his thrusts. The new position means you’re leaned back further than before, and that he can see everything—your blissed out face, bouncing breasts, your pussy as it hugs him, enveloping him in tight, wet heat.

“Daddy’s good girl, fucking so pretty,” he grinds out, and you just hold onto his legs, moan while he works to bring you both off. “Come on my cock, baby, all over it. Give it to me.”

“Oh, god. Yes, daddy. I will, I will.” Your head drops back, exposing your throat, and you swallow hard, whine your impatience. You want to please him and find release, and it’s frustrating but so fucking sexy, the position he’s put you in. “Harder, please, please.”

“Harder? Are you sure you can take it?” He slams you down roughly, thrusts up faster, and you tremble both with effort and pleasure, press your nails against his thighs.

“I can take it, I can take you. Feels so good.” You’re breaking a sweat, can feel it prickling at the nape of your neck, behind your knees, and you bounce in his hands, clamp tight, nearly sigh in relief when your orgasm is just out of reach. “I’m gonna come, daddy, gonna come on your cock—oh, fuck. Fuck.”

“Yes, baby, just like that.”

Your climax is powerful, lengthy, and Aaron is loving it if the tightened grip on your hips, the low groans of pleasure are any indication. You don’t have it in you to help anymore, too worn out, but he continues to move your body until he comes, and you stare down at him, satisfied and out of breath and ridiculously—surprisingly—in love.

Oh, fuck. Three weeks go by, and you don’t talk about it—with anyone. It eats at you, and you simultaneously want to scream it from the rooftops and hide it in the dark and hope that the feelings pass.

You love Aaron. You’re in love with Aaron. Your best friend, friend with benefits, the man you suddenly on a whim decided to call daddy because you just can’t get enough of him: of his strong hands, soft hair, lips and voice and just… everything.

You’re not sure when exactly your feelings for Spencer went away, but it’s like they drifted off silently into the night, only to be gradually replaced by sharing big breakfasts and a hot coffee on your desk and wearing his flannel pajama pants just because they’re comfy and lazy morning sex on the weekends—

—are you dating Aaron? Because friends with benefits doesn’t feel like coming home to just the right person at the end of the day, like you missed him even though you work together. It doesn’t feel like desperation, like a need to know you belong in his arms, like a confirmation that he’s here because he wants to be, not just because you asked him to be.

Things haven’t really changed since that night—you still go to one of your apartments after work, have dinner, have sex some evenings or just relax others, sleep together every night—but you’re so nervous you’re going to slip up and say or do something to clue him in that you’re almost always on edge now. He notices, because he notices things, and because he notices you.

“What’s got you acting so odd lately?” he asks softly in your ear while you cuddle on the couch, reading, your back against his arm, legs stretched out in front of you. You’d like to crawl into his lap, wrap his arms around you, breathe against his neck, but you settle for this because it’s a little more manageable.

“Odd? Me?” He curls his arm around your chest, rests a hand gently on your throat. There’s no pressure, it’s just a soft claim, but it makes your heart beat fast.

“Yes, baby. You’ve been quiet. You haven’t flipped a page in a while. Is something on your mind?”

“Not really,” you murmur, and he taps a few fingers against the side of your neck.

“You wouldn’t lie to me, would you?” It’s soft, not a line your daddy expects parroted back to him, but a question Aaron feels the need to ask. You bring a hand up to rest on his arm, something of a hug.

“I’m just thinking. Enjoying sitting here with you.” You tip your head back to look at him, and he leans down to kiss your mouth, slowly, deeply, squeezing your throat just a little. It makes you feel warm and fuzzy, cared for, and a little turned on. “Are you enjoying me?”

“I always enjoy you,” he says quietly, brings his other hand to your cheek to cradle your face. “Just making sure you’re okay.”

“I’m okay,” you whisper, looking up at him, into his deep, curious eyes—he seems to know there’s something more, but he also seems to know now’s not the time. “Do you want to go to bed?”

He nods, and you both get up, tidy up the living room, turn off the lights. When you climb into bed, you just kiss, for what feels like hours, curled up around him, skin on skin. Your next case takes you to Portland, where you are tasked with building a profile for a serial arsonist. It’s not going well.

“We’ve been over this,” Derek says, running a hand over his head. “The motives for arson are simple: vandalism, crime concealment, political statement, profit, and revenge.” You stand in front of a whiteboard with your arms crossed; the words he just said are already scrawled across it in your handwriting, in green dry erase marker.

“Well we’re missing something, so let’s go over it again. There have been no signatures, no hits on social media, nothing sent to the news outlets, so we’re not thinking ‘political statement.’” You draw a line through the words.

“No connection between the buildings, so we’ve all but removed ‘revenge’ from the list,” Emily adds, and you draw a line through that one too.

“Second building had no insurance, was taken over by the city—no one profited from that,” Penelope adds from the speakerphone. You strike it out, sigh.

“That leaves vandalism and crime concealment.”

“Nothing was found at any of the scenes to indicate crime concealment, but it is possible,” Derek reminds you; that one stays on the board. Emily taps her pen against her notepad, looks up at you with a cocked brow and points to the board.

“We’re forgetting one. Hero syndrome: when a firefighter or other first responder sets the fires with the intent of returning to help put them out.” You quickly scribble it on the board.

“So we know that in most instances, those who engage in acts of arson due to hero syndrome have had some type of failed attempt at heroism in the past, be it a botched detective exam, dishonorable military discharge…”

“What about someone who failed out of the arson investigator program?” Penelope asks, keys clacking in the background. “I have an Alexander Carter who works for the Portland Fire Department who has failed out of the program—wow, a whopping six times.”

“Could be he’s trying to prove what an asset he’d be,” Emily proposes, and you turn to jot it down, then freeze.

“Did you say Carter? Alex Carter,” you repeat, and she hums.

“Yes, Alexander Carter, age 30, 5’11”, 200 lbs, brown hair, brown eyes.” You cross the room in a hurry, search your jacket pockets for your cell phone, and Derek stands almost immediately.

“What is it?” he asks, and Emily and Penelope echo his question.

“Hotch and Spencer are with Alex Carter right now. They’re checking out the last scene, the one where the fire went out on its own and didn’t spread. The one that failed.” You look up at him, hold your phone up to your ear, dialing Aaron. It rings and then goes to voicemail three times before going straight to voicemail the fourth. Derek tries Spencer, but his goes to voicemail right away. “We have to go there. Fuck. Garcia, what’s the address again?”

The three of you rush out of the conference room, passing JJ, who gets a brief rundown from Emily and offers to stay back to keep an ear out in case they call. You, Emily, and Derek strap on your vests, and Derek drives—Speed Racer may be useful right now, but your hands are trembling. You sit on them so no one sees.

The building is up in flames when you arrive, and there are firefighters on scene as well as police, EMS… and the coroner.

“Where are they?” you all but scream at the detective. He stands, hands on his hips, shakes his head, and your throat goes dry. “God damn it. Say something. Where are our men?”

“Where do you think they are?” He gestures to the smoldering storefront, and you take a calm, measured breath and step away from him; nothing you say will do you any good, only serve to get you in trouble, and it’s not his fault anyway, not really. You try the fire chief, hope you don’t sound like you’re pleading when you ask him for news.

“My people are working hard to put the fire out; we don’t know the extent of it. We can’t say for sure,” he says, and it’s kind, but firm. Not a guarantee. Derek finds you, puts a hand on your arm, and you look up at him like he’s going to have the answers to this. Someone has to, right?

“We just have to wait,” he says, soothing, and even though you know he’s just trying to help, you could punch him in the face; it’s an unfamiliar feeling, not something you’ve ever felt when faced with Derek Morgan. You shake your head.

“Wait? Wait for what, for—for them to be pulled out in body bags? I can’t wait, I won’t wait. I’ve waited long enough as it is,” you mutter under your breath, turning away. You stare at the flaming storefront, trying to formulate a plan that doesn’t end with Derek tackling you before you can get close enough to call for them, but you can’t come up with anything, and it’s not necessary anyway: less than ninety seconds later, Aaron and Spencer come around from the back of the building, looking a little worse for wear, but not as bad as Alex Carter, who is badly burned on the left side of his face.

You are so relieved you could pass out, and it’s an honest to goodness miracle that you don’t. They get Carter to the ambulance, where the EMTs begin to treat him, and then they walk toward you.

You can’t help it, your feet move without you, bridging the distance, and you crash into Aaron, nearly knocking him over; you cling to his shirt and inhale the scent of smoke and cologne, listen to his heartbeat, think the words you’ve been so afraid to say out loud.

He holds you tightly, one hand on the back of your neck, murmurs words in your ear that you can’t make out; when Derek and Emily come over, you snap out of it, grab Spencer by the shoulder and pull him in too, and the five of you form a group hug and you are not the only one to cry.

You go back to the hotel so everyone can shower, wash away the soot; you would have preferred being able to shower with Aaron, to move your hands over his body and see for yourself that he is unharmed, to wash the stale scent of smoke from his hair, but that’s just not possible. You settle for a text that tells you he’s okay, he’s just tired and ready to go home with you—home, which is apparently wherever you are, whichever apartment you are making noise in, taking up space in, wherever you are leaving half empty cups of tea.

You’ve never wanted to kiss him so badly in your life, but the flight from Portland to Virginia is five hours long and almost torture. He sits next to you on the plane, which doesn’t usually happen, and he does paperwork, brushes his free hand against yours occasionally. You drift in and out of consciousness, so tired from the emotions of the day, and before you know it Aaron is smoothing his hand over your head to wake you up.

He drives you to his apartment, stopping only to pick up takeout from your favorite Indian place—the bags are abandoned on the kitchen counter, though, because the moment you are behind closed doors, everything changes.

You kiss him like it will be the last time—and maybe it will be, considering what you plan to say—your hands in his hair, breath on his lips, the taste of him on your tongue. This could be like Spencer all over again; you hadn’t realized then just how not on the same page the two of you had been, not even on the same chapter, maybe in a whole different book, so what makes this any different? What you have come to realize is love could just be comfortable, guaranteed sex to Aaron, and if he turns you down too, you’ll probably give up on all of it.

You move to the bedroom with the practiced motions of a couple who has walked this walk many times before, but this time it feels different. It feels like matching energies, like emotions that have been tamped down and are now allowed to be fully expressed, fully exposed.

Aaron gets you out of your clothes first, with sure, gentle hands, and then you strip him slowly, look him over the way you wish you could have earlier. You touch his arms, his chest, his stomach, then bend to run your hands over his legs, his feet.

“You’re whole. You’re here,” you murmur when you stand, and he takes your face in his hands, presses his lips to yours again and again.

“I told you I wouldn’t leave you; I meant it.” You wet your lips, look up at him, exhale softly. After a sentence like that, what the hell are you waiting for?

“I love you.” His eyes search your face, and you release one soft sob before he pushes you back onto the bed, covers you with his body, kisses you deeply, wet and passionate.

“I love you—fuck, I love you,” he breathes, his hands in your hair, on your face, and then he reaches down to grab your wrists and hold them above your head. You gasp, shudder, spread your legs for him, and he weaves a hand between your bodies, roughly rubs your clit. “Going to fuck you so good. So good.”

He stares down at you, wrists clasped in one hand, the other working to bring you close, or off, you’re not sure; you ache to touch him, but since you can’t you just breathe a little harder, hitch your knees up higher, give yourself to him.

“Please, daddy,” you sigh, and he knows what you want, guides his cock inside you and then slams it all the way in, so deep that you’re overcome by the feeling of fullness and your eyes water. It’s not pain, or even really pleasure, though it does feel good, but more like… completeness. Like you were made for each other in all the ways that count.

He thrusts into you hard, his knees digging into the bed, and you take kisses when he offers them, moan when he doesn’t, struggle against his grip on your wrists just to feel him tighten it. He pounds his hips roughly against you, uses his free hand to squeeze your ass, then your breast, and then finally, eventually, your throat.

He hovers over you, panting, staring down like he’s viewing a masterpiece and not looking at your sweaty, overheated face. “Can I have you? All of you?” He glides the hand from your throat down to your chest, rests it just over your heart, and you nod, surge up to meet him for a kiss.

“All of me—all of me.” He releases your arms, plants his hands against the bed and fucks you hard, and you slide your hands up his back, pull him down so he’s fully on top of you, heavy and solid and strong. “Take me, Aaron, I’m yours. Take me.” You lift your legs, knees almost up to his armpits, and he holds your hips, kisses you deeply, messy, pumps inside and then comes murmuring your name into your hair. You clutch him, buck desperately against him, mouth at his shoulder, and he shushes you softly, brushes his palm over your hot cheek.

“I’ve got you, baby,” he says with a kiss, and then he slides an arm around your lower back, tilts your hips up, grinds inside until you come digging your fingertips into his sides.

He rests your body against the bed, drapes himself over you, moves his mouth slowly up and down the side of your throat; you wrap your arms around his shoulders, and he presses a hand to the back of your neck, holds you close to him. After a few minutes, he speaks, low, into your ear.

“So this is why you’ve been so…”

“Odd?” you say with a smile, and he tilts his head so he can see you, smiles too, kisses you on the lips.

“Yes. Odd. Because you love me?” You shift slightly, pull back so you can see him better, card your fingers through his hair.

“Not because I love you, because I was afraid to tell you I love you.” He makes a face like that’s the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard, and you brush your thumb over the ridge of his ear. “I’m not sure if you remember this,” you begin, softly sarcastic, “but I recently told Spencer that I loved him, and it didn’t go over very well. I was scared that could happen with you, too. It was easier to just enjoy what we had.”

He looks over your features, sighs lightly.

“Do you remember the night you stayed late at the office to help me with the records retention? We ordered pizza and you raided Rossi’s office for liquor.”

“Yes, and it was very expensive Scotch and it went very well with my veggie pizza. You smiled more that night than I’d ever seen,” you say, almost dreamily; you’re such a goner for him, now—it’s like letting yourself tell him was the last straw, and now the floodgates are open and your affection pours out of you, thick and sweet and sappy. You press a palm to his cheek, and he covers it with his hand.

“That was the night I realized I was in love with you.” You look up, think back, try to place that night on the calendar.

“That was six months ago. Right?” He nods, slow and steady.

“Yes, six months ago. Two months after that, I… miscalculated. I got it in my head that you and Reid were in a relationship. I tried to pull back, give you space, but you never seemed to want that, so I selfishly continued to spend time with you.” You curl around him, press close for several soft, slow kisses, lightly tug at his hair.

“Well, that explains why you were so confused when I told you what happened with Spencer. Why you thought you couldn’t talk to me. Silly.”

“I just wanted to do the right thing. You were happy, and I thought it was because of him.” That makes you frown, and you think of what happened that night after Spencer’s, how you came here, broken down about being rejected by another man, and Aaron, who was in love with you, was so kind and gracious and sweet, put your pieces back together. You don’t deserve him, or any of it.

“I was happy. I’m happier now,” you whisper, because any louder and you wouldn’t be able to get the words out over the lump in your throat. “And I am so in love with you.”

“I’m happier now, too,” he says, hovering over your lips, “and so in love with you.” Saturday morning is for sleeping in as long as your bodies will allow—that only ends up being 8:30, but it still feels indulgent—and puttering around Aaron’s apartment, stealing kisses because you can’t so much as brush past him without his arms winding around your waist, without wanting to push your hands up the back of his shirt and hug him.

You both get a text at noon, from Penelope, stating under no uncertain terms that the team will be meeting at a bar you frequent, at 9 PM, and that everyone is expected to attend—significant others are not only welcomed, but encouraged.

“So. If you’re alright with it,” Aaron says when he’s driving to your place—he’s dressed and ready, looks handsome in a navy shirt with his sleeves rolled up, top button undone, but you didn’t have anything appropriate to wear, so you’re heading home to change your clothes. “This could be an easy way to tell the team we’re in a relationship.”

You don’t think it will be particularly easy, especially not for you, because you’ll be hounded for information all night, but the timing is convenient, and you just love to hear him say that you’re in a relationship, so you agree. You change, head to the bar, and when you meet up, Penelope and Emily are already there.

“Hey, guys,” you say as you hug Emily, and then Penelope. “Just the two of you so far?”

“Just us single ladies,” Emily says with a sip of her drink. “You didn’t bring the boyfriend? I thought we were finally going to meet the man who’s been putting a smile on your face,” she says with a grin of her own, and you shrug your shoulders, wrap your arm around Aaron’s.

“Actually, I did.” They both look at you, at Aaron, between you, then at each other, and then they aww in unison. You turn to him, smile, and he offers to go for drinks, excuses himself with a soft look and a brush of his hand.

“Holy shit,” Penelope says, and you can’t help the smile that takes over your face.

“Yeah, I know.” Well, that was a wild ride! Thanks again @ssamorganhotchner for the prompt—I know I changed a lot of it, omitted some things, but this is what happened when my fingers hit the keys! 🤣 Taglist 🤍: @thaddeusly @arsonhotchner @mrsh0tchner @ssahotchie @sleepyreaderreads @mintphoenix @meghannnnnn @disgruntledchowchow @azenpal @g-l-pierce @my-rosegold-soul @ssamorganhotchner @heliotropehotch @angelhotchner @qtip-blog @gspenc @wishuhadstayed @averyhotchner @hotforhotchner11 @itsmytimetoodream @unicornprancing @uchihasteph @mugi-chwan95 @madamsnape921

[cherryatiny]

𝐃𝐚𝐝! 𝐀𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐳: 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲 𝐛𝐮𝐦𝐩 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞

𝑊𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔: 𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑒𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑒𝑠, 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑑𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑖𝑒𝑠, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑤𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑐𝑢𝑡𝑒 𝑑𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑒ℎ𝑜𝑙𝑑 <333

𝐺𝐼𝐹𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑒, 𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑑𝑖𝑡 𝑔𝑜𝑒𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑜𝑤𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑠

⩥ 𝐊𝐢𝐦 𝐇𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐣𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠

Letting the last droplets of water fall on your exposed shoulders, you turned the water off, putting the showerhead to its previous place after showering the bubbles of your body. Drying your body with a soft towel you prepared beforehand, you slipped into your underwear, opening the bathroom door and going to the bedroom, being met with the sight of your husband Hongjoong, who was currently laying on your shared bed, watching some things on his phone with headphones plugged in.

His eyes peeked on your exposed figure and as they landed on your stomach, they immediately widened, you could see how he swiftly jumped from his place, falling on the ground from the unsuccessful jump. Collecting himself, he got on his knees in front of you. „What the fuck are you doing Joongie?” Hongjoong was switching between looking at your belly and looking up at your face.

„Oh my, you grew a baby bump, oh my god, that's my baby inside you.” His hands cupped the bottom of your belly, poking it with amazement in his eyes, trying to find out if it's really a baby growing inside of you. „Waah, neither of these feel real, whether the fact that there's a tiny clump of cells growing inside of you, that will eventually turn into a human being or the fact that you're so fucking cute with this cute little bump. Literally, how did a deserve you?“ letting out a small chuckle at his words full of amazement, you kneeled to be on his eye level, looking deep into his sparkling dark eyes and pecking the tip of his nose, putting your hands on top of his. „I have the same question, Kim Hongjoong.“

⩥ 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐒𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐰𝐚

Stirring the veggie mix in the wok, you rummaged through the cabinets, looking for soy sauce to add to the vegetables. Humming to a random song you heard on a radio a few days ago, swinging your hips to the rhythm. „What are you cooking, darling?“ Almost jumping from your spot as your husband Seonghwa unexpectedly wrapped his arms around your waist, you tried to calm your breath still shocked from the unanticipated touch.

„Hwa, baby, you should work on this awful habit of yours, I felt like my heart was about to jump out of my chest. Please let me know beforehand before you talk or hug me from behind. Stirred veggies with rice and tofu.“ Nuzzling his face into your neck like a hurt puppy, he apologized for scaring you in a tiny barely hearable voice.

Embracing you in a tight hug that kept you close to him as you cooked. „Hm, wait, what is it?“ Turning your head around to look at his confused face. „What do you mean?“ His hands started to caress your lower stomach, poking and pressing on it. „What are you doing Hwa? It tickles!“ Not stopping his actions you slipped out of his embrace, turning your body around to face him.

„Wait, let me touch it again, I swear it changed,... like the structure of your stomach, it's different.“ Kneeling in front of you he lifted your t-shirt, looking at it and resuming his previous actions. Squirming from the tickling touch of his fingers, you let out soft squeals. „Oh my god, Y/N, it really changed. Could it be the baby? Oh my, right, it must be the baby, your lower belly is rounding.“

„You weirdo, examining the changes in the structure of my stomach.“

⩥ 𝐉𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐮𝐧𝐡𝐨

As you finished cutting some fruit for the boys, you placed the bowls on the coffee table in their living room. Your husband Yunho sitting on the couch watching as you took care of his friends, his hand wrapping around you and pulling you back to his lap, your back falling onto his chest. „Rest baby, you don't need to take care of them, they're adults, even though they sometimes don't act that way.” nodding and smiling at his playful advice. „But I want to, you know I have to train these motherly skills for our baby.” whispering into his ear for only him to hear, you turned around to face the boys who were half-arguing about who's the best character in a show they're watching.

„Eat up, I cut those fruits for you, you need vitamins.” before you even finished your sentence, Yeosang was already stuffing his mouth with watermelon, making you all burst out laughing. „No worries Y/N, you should rest, also can I ask you something?” nodding to Hongjoong's hesitant words, he asked you the question he was referring to.

„I don't want to come off rude or anything, so please don't take it that way, but isn't your baby bump showing already?” the man underneath you quickly straightened up, bending down to look at your stomach because of his hyung's words. „Oh my god, Y/N, why didn't you tell me your baby bump is showing.” turning around to face Yunho's surprised face. „I thought you noticed..?”

Wooyoung and San let out loud laughter at how flushed Yunho was. „Yunho you should've seen how you looked right now, you really didn't notice Y/N's baby bump? I can't with you. Try to use your eyes sometimes. But to be honest, who would've thought that your sperm would grow to this size, impressive.” Those two couldn't stop laughing, Yunho only put on his expression of a hurt puppy as you pecked his nose with reassuring words. „Don't worry Yuyu, it might work out next time.”

⩥ 𝐊𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐞𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐠

When Yeosang found out that you're pregnant, he couldn't hide the happiness. He was so excited but so scared at the same time. Buying a lot of educational books and attending workshops, to know how to become the best dad. At the same time, he wanted your pregnancy to be memorable so you two can have lovely reminiscences to remember in a few years. Apart from the basic medical record, you two built up a habit of taking pictures every week, to see how your body changed as the weeks of your pregnancy passed.

„Okay okay, go there Y/N, keep still as every week.” Snapping the picture of your figure standing in front of the white wall from side and front. You sat down on Yeosang's lap, arms wrapping around his neck as you looked at the screen of the camera in his hands, switching between today and last week's photos. „Wah, Y/N look! Your baby bump got visible since the last week. Aww, our baby is growing well inside you.” smiling at his adorable attitude. „Aww Yeosangie, are you crying?” Amazed at how quick you noticed it, he swiftly wiped the tears off his eyes. „No I'm not crying, it was just dirt in my eye.”

„One day, when our baby will be older, I will tell it a story about how its father teared up when it was growing in my womb.“ Giving you a death glare, Yeosang turned off the camera with the photos he took. „Try to embarrass me in front of my child and I'm going to sublime into another galaxy.“ Chuckling at his sarcastic remark you hugged his muscular frame. „Please don't, I'd have no one to tease then, Sangie.“

⩥ 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐢 𝐒𝐚𝐧

Looking at yourself in the body-length mirror, you examined your body, hugging your frame and trying to cover the parts you didn't like. Especially the gained pregnancy fat on the lower stomach. Turning around, trying to find the angle you looked the best in. Not aware of your husband San observing your movements, while leaning on the door frame. His voice scaring the heck out of you, as he spoke. „What are you doing, darling?“ Turning around you looked at him, your hands wrapped around your body to cover as much as possible. „I- Don't you think I gained weight, Sannie? Especially some fat on my stomach and I'm not even that far in my pregnancy. What am I going to do? I feel so bad.“ San put on his pout at your negative remarks, approaching you, he stood behind you, looking at you in the mirror.

„Baby, I can't explain how much it hurts me to hear you thinking this way of yourself. You're absolutely gorgeous Y/N, darling, it's not any belly fat, and even if it was, it doesn't matter, it's your cute little baby bump. That's our baby that's showing and you shouldn't talk so negative about it.“ Kissing your temple and shoulders, he dropped on his knees, hands falling onto your bump, caressing it and letting his lips brush against your skin, giving it small pecks full of love. „Please Y/N, I'll do anything I can if it helps you overcome your insecurities. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever laid my eyes on. You're also the woman that carries my child, and you have my full respect for that. And this cute little baby bump makes you even prettier honey. Now, should I make you some snacks? You need to eat meals with a lot of nutrients so you and our baby can be healthy.“ Smiling at his heart-warming words, you took his hand that tugged you out of the room, taken aback by how did you deserve a man like this.

⩥ 𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐢

„Mhm Y/N... I'm so exhausted“ your husband Mingi whined, coming out of the shower after working out. „Do you wanna watch a movie? Come on, lay yourself on me and relax, Mingi. There won't be as many opportunities to do this from now on, so lay down.“ Nodding the tall figure of your husband approached you, sitting down on the couch, you spread your legs to create a space for him to lay in, before turning on the TV with your favourite series playing. As Mingi was about to lay his head on your lower belly, he noticed the slight change in its size. Lifting your t-shirt he saw how your lower belly rounded.

„Oh my god- Y/N! Why didn't you tell me your baby bump was showing omo! Y/N Y/N, that's my baby!“ chuckling at his excitement over your belly rounding, you agreed to his words. „Yes, Mingi, that's your baby. Now lay down please, so we can watch the series.“ Brushing your fingers through his brown locks, you tried to softly push his head to lay in your lap. „I don't want to Y/N. You lay in my lap, I don't want to lay on your belly, what if I hurt the baby? Oh my, that would be horrible, I'm sure that since the baby is growing already, it would feel suffocated by my head laying on your baby bump.“ Raising your eyebrows at his gibberish, trying to hold back the laughter at his cute dumbness. „Mingi, please, respectfully shut the fuck up and lay on my lap, you don't want to anger a pregnant woman by not agreeing with her. You won't hurt the baby, so lay down.“ Putting on his 'scared puppy' expression, he listened to you, laying carefully on your belly, your fingers playing with his soft hair, making ponytails and braiding them as you two watched the series.

⩥ 𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐖𝐨𝐨𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠

Clipping your fancy earrings and necklace set, you finished adorning your look with accessories. Looking at your figure in the tight-fitting velvet dress, that perfectly fitted the occasion of Wooyoung's business gala. Your eyes dropping at the baby bump that was getting more visible as the weeks of your pregnancy went on, especially in this dreses. But maybe it was just your detailed eye since no one appeared to notice, not even your husband.

Walking down the stairs to the living room where your husband Wooyoung was, already dressed in a well-fitting tuxedo. Playing some games on his phone while waiting for you to finish dressing and stuff. „Woo, I'm done.“ He turned around to look at you, his eyes widening at the ethereal beauty. „Waau, baby, that dress is breath-taking, absolutely worth the money. You're gorgeous, you look like an absolute goddess. Can you turn around?“ Turning around on your heels, showing off yourself in all angles for him to see, his cheerful clapping, like he was your number-one fan, let you gain confidence in yourself. „I don't remember marrying a model, but you for sure look like one.“ coming closer to you his arms wrapped around your frame, one hand falling onto your lower stomach. Leaning closer to you, Wooyoung whispered into your ear: „Especially with that baby bump, you look so cute, it adds to your beauty.“

„I didn't know you noticed...“ Wooyoung pouted at your words because he didn't know that was what you thought of him. „Of course I noticed, what do you take me for?... I just didn't want to mention it, because I didn't know how you felt about that and didn't want to make you insecure by mentioning your baby bump growing, but I just couldn't help myself, it looks too cute on you.“

⩥ 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐢 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐨

Work tired the heck out of you and Jongho couldn't watch your soulless state full of stress anymore. So his surprising gift for you in a form of a wellness trip was very appreciated. Having a week to spend to focus on yourself, your husband and the little bundle of joy in your womb, was the best thing he could give you. So as you two packed your belongings, and Jongho drove you two to the wellness hotel you could finally breathe out.

„Come on Y/N, let's take our luggage to the hotel room and then dive straight into a hot tub, I feel like my muscles are as stiff as rock.“ taking the luggage out of your hand, Jongho took them to your hotel room, your body fell on the soft mattress of your king-sized bed. „Get up, princess, we gotta go swimming and then we can go to a hot tub. Light exercise is important for a pregnant woman and her baby.“ groaning, you took the swimsuit Jongho threw at you and went to the bathroom to change, putting some dress onto it so you're not bare when you walk through the hotel.

Taking a deep breath after the hour of swimming, you thought you'd collapse from how exhausting it was. „Jongho I'm gonna kill you, you told me that we were gonna rest the whole week.“

„But exercising is resting as well. Okay then, if you're so exhausted, you can be glad that you have such a caring and strong husband, who has no problem with carrying you to the hot tub.“ Glaring at him, you could sense that he was just teasing you with his words. You yelped as he suddenly picked you up, carrying you bridal style, before getting into the hot tub with you still in his hands.

As he sat down with you still in his hands, you wrapped your arms around his neck, nuzzling yourself into his chest. Not aware of his eyes glaring and examining your stomach. „Baby.“ raising your eyebrows at him, thinking he wanted to tell you something, since baby was one of the many nicknames he had for you. „Baby. There's a baby in you. I can see it, oh my- Can I touch it?“

i couldn't find Mingi's gif from this set, i'm gonna cry

[roughentumble]

A Comprehensive List of Henry Cavill's Movies And TV Shows, And Whether I Personally Think They're Worth Watching

**Updated and current**

as requested by the oh so lovely @fangirleaconmigo

obviously take this list with a grain of salt, as im just one man, and i certainly have my biases. and even if something is in the "not worth it" section, if something about it intrigues you, feel free to totally ignore my advice! sometimes the best evenings come from watching reportedly terrible films, and one of my favorite Henry Cavill movies was summarily panned by critics and audiences alike. that being said, let's start with the stuff i didnt like.

NOT WORTH IT:

Red Riding Hood

----> Available for free on youtube, and yet still not worth your time. Poorly made, often unsettling, with bad music (in a musical of all things) and children forced into racist caricatures. Very funny if you want to watch Henry Cavill suck on a lollipop and get punched by a farting werewolf, however.

Vendetta (A.K.A. Laguna, A.K.A. Hotel Laguna)

----> Technically semi-competent... I suppose it's a mob movie? Also his film debut! But it's largely boring, and the entire film hinges on a sexual relationship between teenage Cavill and an older woman. Genuinely and deeply uncomfortable when she fondles his bare chest, and it's inescapable how much he LOOKS like a child in this film. If I never see a teen that young kiss an adult again, it'll be far too soon. *shivers in disgust*

Sand Castle

----> A war movie, and not a very good one. While I commend it for its attempts at an anti-war message (a very "why are we even over there" vibe), that doesn't make the movie less boring or more watchable. Those who love war movies didn't like it, and it wasn't anti-war enough to seduce the likes of me.

The Tudors (TV)

----> I think my mom summed it up perfectly when she said, in reference to her attempts to sit through season 1 and questions of why she bothered, "there was less on TV back then." (She never made it into season 2, by the way.) It's like the other historical dramas of it's ilk, so if you go crazy for those feel free to give it a shot, but even among its peers it's kind of not great. From the era where showtime really was putting an eye-rolling amount of sex in their shows, so get ready to be accused of watching soft-core porno on the family television like I was.

That being said, a lot of the sex scenes are Cavill's, so if that's your poison, this show'll keep you well fed.

Night Hunter (A.K.A. Nomis)

----> Apocalyptically terrible writing and editing. The performances the cast gave weren't bad, and the camera work itself looked plenty nice, but anything good to be said about the film is dragged down by the foundation itself being utterly rotted. Maybe good to put on to mock... when you aren't confused or bored to tears.

Hellraiser: Hellworld

----> It breaks my heart to say it, because I did find joy in this odd little film, but it's so genuinely bad that I would be a liar to place it anywhere else on the list. Campy and fun in places, but largely just boring, slow, confusing, and BAD. Not a real Hellraiser movie, not enough gore to appease horror fans, not meta enough to be meaningful while still being so meta it drags you out of the story. Genuinely the ending doesn't make sense.

If you're wildly in love with Henry Cavill, you'll love Mike. I love when he gets hooked in the chest and dies, the "sweet cheeks?" line is iconic, his zombie look is adorable. I'm getting a tattoo of the meat hook from this movie.

Do not watch it.

.

MAYBE? I GUESS? I'M NOT YOUR DAD, I CAN'T CONTROL YOU:

Immortals

----> Some technically interesting work here, some nice fight choreography, and a unique visual style to the film. And yet it has such a blandness of performance across the board for all its actors, and such a confused and thoroughly Christian approach to what was supposed to be a story about greek myth, I could never recommend it to anyone. (Since when does Zeus "not interfere" in the lives of humans???) Just enough style points to eek it's way out of the "no" pile.

Whatever Works

----> Whatever Works is a Woody Allen film. This is enough to make it a controversial choice on its own. Certainly one of his lower quality works as well. Henry Cavill as Randy was a delight, however, so give it a chance if you watch Woody Allen movies! Not as bad as I thought it would honestly be, and again Cavill was really good as Randy, but I can't really in good concious put it in the recommend section.

Tristan + Isolde (2006)

----> Billing itself as an alternative to Romeo and Juliet, I mostly found the film to be boring, and I thought James Franco was a bland, boring lead. Other performances in the film were good (especially Rufus Sewell as Marke and Sophia Myles as Isolde), the movie looked fine, it just... was boring. Watch if you're an absolute sucker for this kind of period drama, otherwise skip it.

I Capture the Castle

----> I was deeply unkind to this film when I watched it. I didn't exactly go into it expecting to have a good time or with much of an open mind, which potentially colored my experience. I... didn't have a good time watching it, to be frank. But perhaps if you go into it with a kinder outlook, you'd enjoy it more. A film about love's many forms, how it often hurts us, and it's utterly illogical nature. If you bother watching it, I hope it's kinder to you than it was to me. Perhaps you'll even agree to walk with it through the bluebells, who knows?

.

DEFINITELY WORTH IT:

Stardust

----> Not really "a Henry Cavill movie", as he's only in it for a few minutes, but the film is an exceedingly fun fantasy romp that's well worth your time. It's something of a cult classic for a reason.

Count of Monte Cristo

----> Excellent adaptation of an old classic, delightful watch. Cavill as Albert was wonderful, Jim Caviezel as Edmond was fantastic, and the ending made me genuinely gasp and sit on the edge of my seat. I didn't expect to love it, and yet I absolutely do!

Argylle

----> You don't get a whole lot of henry cavill for your buck, but it's a fun goofy spy film that you could easily watch with the family! Sam Rockwell is also there, as well as Bryce Dallas Howard, and theyre both fun to watch. Ignore the fact the special effects look like they spent $12 on them, and allow it to just be a fun time, and it'll treat you right!

The Cold Light of Day

----> Nothing mindblowing, and Sigourney Weaver + Bruce Willis give shamefully bad performances. And yet, Cavill is a charismatic lead, the chase sequences appropriately thrilling, and it's overall a perfectly servicable action movie. Grab some popcorn and make a movie night of it, IMO.

Blood Creek

----> Another perfectly servicable film. Not blowing any minds, but fun while it's on. Unfortunately, the plot relies heavily on Nazi mysticism (a personal pet peeve of mine), and some of the CGI leaves something to be desired. But still, at its heart it manages to be a very fun horror flick, if you're into cheap horror like me.

The Man From U.N.C.L.E.

----> This is... a flawed movie. And it's extremely hard to recommend when Armie Hammer is so unintentionally frightening in his role as Illya. And yet, the intro sequence is so FUN, Cavill as a thief is so delightful, I'd be remiss not to recommend it. Fun little spy romp!

Mission Impossible: Fallout

----> It is a Mission Impossible movie. Not much more to say, you either love them or hate them, but they know EXACTLY what they're doing, and they have it down to a science.

Enola Holmes

----> A great time all around! Go into it expecting it to skew for younger audiences, and you'll have an absolute blast. 13 year old me would kill to watch this movie. Millie Bobby Brown was great as Enola, and her relationship with Cavill's Sherlock genuinely tugged at my heart, because I am deep down a huge sap.

Enola Holmes 2

----> Ditto! Same as the first, just as worth your time!

Lynley Mysteries & Midsomer Murders (TV)

----> Lumping these two together, as they're both one-off episodes of long-running, competently made, british police procedurals. The episodes are definitely worth a watch, though I can't speak to either series as a whole.

The Witcher (TV)

----> Obviously divisive among long standing fans of the series, and not without its flaws (S2E2, jfc), but ultimately for all my bitching, I'm a TWN stan, and Henry Cavill's Geralt owns my heart. Also probably the reason you're reading this list, so I don't feel the need to expand all that much.

.

YES, THE DC MOVIES GET THEIR OWN HEADING:

-> *long, beleaguered sigh*

-> ok so, like. ok. how much do you like superhero movies? how much of your life are you willing to devote to a zack snyder production that spent half the time setting up plot threads for a large expanded universe that the execs very suddenly pulled the plug on? how little do you love yourself.

-> jokes aside there are redeeming qualities in these films, and if you really love the characters i'm certain you'll find value in some of them.

Man of Steel

----> Despite my very real and present complaints about odd tone, too much illogical lip service paid to the armed forces, a runtime that makes me want to start throwing punches (Just skip the first 20 minutes exactly. They do not matter. They do not add anything), a sterility to the script, and lack of care or acknowledgement given to civilian lives (something at the heart of superman and present in THE AVENGERS, so to do worse than the avengers is pretty egregious)... IT'S STILL a decently fun and entirely servicable (apologies to Mr. Cavill for how many times I use that word in reference to his films) superhero movie. I like Cavill's Clark Kent! I like his little bouncy curls, and I like how much he loves his momma. Superman is fun! He's my friend. MoS worth it, if you can find it in your heart to spare 2 and a half hours for it.

----> VERDICT: WORTH IT

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice: Ultimate Edition

----> Don't bother watching anything other than the Ultimate Edition. It's the only one you'll find half the time you're looking for the film, anyway. This film, to me, is the sink or swim moment. Tooth-grindingly long, and more of what you got in Man of Steel. It's-- ok, I didn't like the Christ allegory, but that's also blatantly Zack Snyder's entire thing wrt Superman, so I can't blame the movie for being exactly what it said it was. If you can get through this movie and enjoy it, then the rest of the DCEU films will be a breeze, and you're now officially A Fan. If this movie is a slog that makes you wanna die, do not bother with any other DCEU films, this is the point where they're officially Not Your Thing (said with affection, not derision). Despite all my complaints, Superman is my best friend and I think about this movie constantly. Wonder Woman is the best. Clark STILL loves his mom(yay!!!). The fact they decided to tackle doomsday+the death of superman as their plotline for this movie is so fascinating to me that I'm giving them points for sheer audacity.

----> VERDICT: WORTH IT, KIND OF, BUT FEEL FREE TO TURN IT OFF AND NEVER WATCH A DCEU MOVIE AGAIN

Justice League (Joss Whedon's Cut)

----> *rubbing my temples* Everything within me screams to tell you not to watch this abomination of a film, because of Joss Whedon's obvious and blatant racism and sexism, but it is admittedly much shorter and a bit easier to follow if you're not a fan of Snyder's style or you're not a big comic book person. Whedon made reshoot decisions that removed the black character Victor Stone, A.K.A. Cyborg, from prominence in the plot. He was arguably the(or at least a) main character in Snyder's version, and Whedon cut his scenes extensively, and then added extra scenes to make Batman the protagonist instead. Not to mention adding in scenes of a slightly sexual nature that Gal Gadot(Wonder Woman's actress) refused to film, which he then got a body double for and digitally added her face in post. BUT!!! But. I must admit. 2 and a half hours versus 4 and a half hours is an appealing cut-back in length, and some people find it difficult to follow Snyder's exposition-heavy style. Plus there are a few added scenes of Superman which are genuinely adorable, if very short. If you're a fanatic, watch both. If you just want to watch one version... Well, I would recommend Snyder's, but weigh the pros and cons for yourself.

----> VERDICT: WATCH IT IF YOU 1) LIKE DC FILMS BUT 2) AREN'T THAT INVESTED, AND 3) ARE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING SHORTER OR PERHAPS EASIER TO FOLLOW. IF NONE OF THOSE CONDITIONS APPLY, DON'T WATCH.

Justice League (Zack Snyder's Cut. Also knows as "Zack Snyder's Justice League")

----> Genuinely unforgivably long. Zack Snyder, I don't forgive you for the length of this movie. AND YET I personally had a total blast with it. Coming hot off the heels of Whedon's cut, seeing Cyborg more fully fleshed out was like a dream come true, and some of Whedon's trademark 'humor'(which these days I find grating) is thankfully lacking. I personally find it to be a better movie, a better showcase of the characters, and all around more fun, but I had also innoculated myself against the strain of long Zack Snyder superhero movies by doing marathons of his other DC films before diving into this one. Also the film has a lot of references to future plotlines which will never fully make sense, because they were sequel set-ups for movies that never got made. Those parts are... hard to sit through, whether because of confusion/boredom or the heartbreak of knowing you'll never get to see that movie which doesn't exist(depending on your emotional investment). For some reason this film is split up into like 5 or more different "chapters", and I theorize that you could watch one chapter a day like it's an episode of television if you need to not watch it all in one sitting, and you might get a better experience out of it that way. Superman is here and he's still my friend! He still loves his ma soooo much! There's a super fun scene with his heat vision!! Wonder Woman and Cyborg and The Flash and Aquaman are here!

----> VERDICT: THIS IS THE VERSION I RECOMMEND IF YOU'RE SOLD ON WATCHING THE JUSTICE LEAGUE, BUT I WOULDN'T BEGRUDGE YOU IF THE RUNTIME SCARED YOU AWAY. WEIGH THE PROS AND CONS BETWEEN THIS AND WHEDON'S CUT, AND WATCH WHAT WORKS FOR YOU. AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE DC MOVIES PLEASE DON'T MAKE YOURSELF WATCH THIS.

Zack Snyder's Justice League: Justice Is Gray

----> Literally just Zack Snyder's cut of the Justice League, but in black and white.

----> VERDICT: PLEASE DEAR GOD DON'T WATCH THIS IF YOU'VE ALREADY WATCHED THE OTHER ONE. IT ISN'T WORTH IT. DON'T SPEND FOUR HOURS OF YOUR PRECIOUS LIFE ON "THE SAME MOVIE BUT IT'S BLACK AND WHITE NOW"

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CHEAT FILM:

I must admit that, despite saying I've watched "everything" Cavill's ever made, I've only seen clips of his performance for the following film.

In Goodbye, Mr. Chips, he only has a 5 minute apperance. It seems a good enough movie, I suppose, but I couldn't bring myself to sit through hours of TV movie for 5 minutes of Cavill, especially not when his scene has been politely uploaded to youtube. His scene was moving, despite the fact I experienced it completely disconnected from the rest of the film, so make of that what you will.

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...phew! ok, that's everything, i think.

feel free to disagree on any of my placements. also feel free to watch night hunter and then come yell in my inbox about how it sucked, because i am constantly shouting into the ether about it and no one understands my pain.

i hope this is helpful for anyone interested in watching some hcav movies but not sure where to start... i suppose i am now some sort of authority on the matter, though i didnt intend to become one lmao.

im very excited for his upcoming roles, both in the romance The Rosie Project, and in the rumored Highlander film. not to mention an Enola Holmes sequel (!!!) and..... Argylle, which i will make myself watch because i am now committed. hopefully i can find some way to distract myself from his truly terrible hair... though i never would've started my marathon if i hadn't been disgusted by his haircut in Argylle, and then immediately wanted to see him as a spy with GOOD hair. so i suppose i have to thank it, which i will do by sitting through the whole movie. thank you and you're welcome, mr. cavill (EDIT: it turned out great 10/10, yay!)

if anyone likes this enough or cares, i can update it to include more henry cavill movies as they come out! <3