#i just dont pike this body

[im-going-to-eat-your-family]

Why am I human

[the-witch-of-woods-beyond]

my favourite headcanon for glass sorenson is that she came down with farm station and watched them murder luke right in front of her eyes (or kidnap him or something cause i love tragic lovers but she deserves to be happy) and so she’s one of the first people to join pike’s militia and turn vengeful, and her best friend wells (he lives too cause this is my canon now) is trying to get through to her but she won’t hear it cause all she wants is justice and to get her oldest friend clarke griffin out of polis and away from harm (they’re friends too fight me on this i dare you)

(also sorry about the tags i didn’t know i had that rant in me 😭😭)

[dent-de-leon]

help i am once again thinking of ways the animated nein could avoid killing molly off so early--

[first-edition]

Fox and the Hound

Sandor Clegane x reader

Chapter 2

1- 2- 3

Sum-Joffrey wants to send a message to your family after your brother embarrasses him, so he marries you off to his most unwanted man in his court, the hound. But will this marriage truly be a statement for an eyesore, or will it grow into something more. 

Cw for the chapter- forced marragie, alcohol consumption, joffrey, mention of dead loved one, mention of consumation, 18+ languge and themes.

The large doors are kicked open by sandor as he walks to your bed placing you down on it before standing and bowing and walking out to leave you to the attention of your hand maidens. Once you hear the door close you curl up and the screams you were holding in let out in sobs and screams of pure pain. 

Your wails are heard as the sounds bounces off the stone walls of your room. “M-my lady.” one maid says holding out a hand to you touching your shoulder but you finch away. 

“L-Leave me!” you sob. 

“But my lady-” “LEAVE!” you yell at them. They curtsie and scurry out of the room. 

“You shouldn't talk to them like that.” you hear a familiar voice as you look over seeing sansa walking to you and sitting on the bed next to you. 

“What am I supposed to do?” you ask 

“I dont know.” she says, shaking her head. 

“Move over.” she says you sniff and listen she lays next to you facing you. Reaching out she moves your hair out of your face. 

“I overheard Joffrey, he said you're too married to the hound tomorrow. At noon. He wants it done as soon as possible.” she says a disgusted look on her face. Your eyes wander her face as she places a hand upon your cheek. 

“At least he didn't have ser merryn bruise your face. We saw what he did to you liliana.” she says you nod. 

“My brother sansa..” you say. 

“And my father out past the gates, his head on a pike, joffrey is no king. He's a demon craving power he's too weak to get. You're my best friend, you're a lady of the same standard as me. I don't know what to do but you can marry sandor.'' She says you scoff and sit up and hold the bed sheet to your body. 

“I was sent here as a peace offering, you were too.” she says. 

“But peace doesn't need to be forced.'' You say moving your hair to one side. 

“No…but it does need to be enforced.” she says. You shake your head. 

“I can't marry a hound.” you say pulling your knees to your chest. 

“Cant or wont.” she says looking up at you. You nod without giving a clear answer. 

“Y/n you're going to be killed if you don't marry him.” she says. 

“I’d die before marrying a man I do not love, marrying a man filled with such violence.” you say looking at her as she sits up to face you. In disbelief she shakes her head. 

“You want your head on a silver platter? You’ll have your head on a spike.” she asks

“Yes.” you respond. 

“Y/n. Your family will have nothing left, my sister is gone, my brothers are on the other side of the country, my father is dead…I only have you and I cannot, no, Will not lose you too, my best friend. Please…don't let me loose you, and marry him, just please do a duty as a lady as the king's subject, worthless daft cunt as he is…” she says making you giggle at how much she enjoys making fun of him behind his back. 

“...but please for me.” she says. You look at her and sigh nodding. 

“Alright.” you say she nods and hugs you you hug her back. 

“Do me one favor?” You ask. 

“Anything.” she answers. 

“Walk me down the aisle.” you say she nods a smile on her face. A smile that's full of sadness. 

“My pleasure.'' She gets up and walks to the door, sending your maids back into your room to help you dress for bed. 

—---

The morning sun hits your face as you sit outside by the window and a pillow on your lap brings your knees to your chest. 

“Her grace is the queen cersei.” one of your maids announces as the doors to your chambers open. You turn seeing cersei walking into the room you get up and curstie to her not worried about the fact you are still in your nightgown. 

“My dear…you're not dressed? You have to give a present in an hour?” she asks. 

“no..I have nothing to wear. I'm not sure my day gowns would suffice as a wedding dress.” you say. Cersei smiles her devious smile. And walks to you taking your hands before turning and noddeding the doors open once more as the seamstress walks in with a dress on the form.

“I had this made for my wedding, however I came to be with my child before I was able to wear it. So it's my gift to you to wear this time.” she says leading you to it. 

“It's beautiful.” you answer. 

“Yes and I had it tailored to your number so it will fit perfectly…” she says and trails off as you take the sleeve in hand. 

She walks over to the bed and takes a seat. You turn to look at her as she sighs looking up at you. 

“Do you know the action of a man and a woman in bed my dear? What is to be expected of you on your wedding night?” she asks me to pat the spot on the bed next to her so you'll sit. You walk over and take the place next to her. 

“My mother wanted to tell me but my aunt never let her explain.” you reply. 

“Well you must consummate the marriage with intercourse it's a scary experience. You are there to pleasure the man, do you understand? You shall abstain from any struggle and do everything he wishes you to do. Do you understand?” she says. 

“Y-yes your grace.” you say now fearful of what the hound is willing to do to you. 

“I'm so sorry my dear have I frightened you?” she asks. You open your mouth to speak but she cuts you off. 

“No matter, I'm sure Sandor clegane will make a fine husband. And you shall have many fine babes.” she says before once again standing and putting her hands together in a clap, the noise making you jump.

“Now! Try it on shall we.” she says you stand and nod. 

—----

Almost as if you’d blacked out and had not remembered the rest of the time spent getting ready for picking at your nails waiting for the door of the large keep to open. You can hear voices murmuring behind the large black wood doors. 

“y/n.” Sansa speaks, causing you to jump. 

“I'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you.” she says taking your hand. You shake your head, eyes glued forwards on the door. Your mind races with the things cersei was babbling about earlier about the consummate marriage and who has to watch.

“Y/n?” Sansa brings you back to reality although not far from your head. 

“Did you hear me? I said you look beautiful.” she says you give her a worried smile,but she wasn't wrong. You wear a white and gold embellished dress with sleeves and a trail in the back. Your veil falling far past the dress you hair down your back pulled out of your face. 

You hear the music and the muffled voices of chatter die down as everyone has taken their seat. You hear footsteps towards you and Sansa both turn their heads seeing joffrey. He stands neck to you and smiles smugly. 

“What are you doing?” you ask

“Your fathers not here and your brother is gone and as a high born son so as next to lead and father of the realm it's my duty to give you away to your husband,” he says. 

“I apologize for your grace because I asked your lady, Sansa, to give me away.” you say. 

“Yes…but she will not.” he says, taking your arm in his as the doors open. You give Sansa a look. She shakes your head in regret. You look forward to your heart dropping seeing so many people from highborns to servants. Down the aisle you look up seeing the priest Joffrey has picked and sandor who is in all black armor with a gold and white cape seemingly made for him just for today as there's no dents or nicks and it shines with the sunlight that peers in through the stained glass window.

Walking down the aisle your legs feel jello and your heart races so fast and hard you can hear it in your ears. Moving closer and closer to your soon to be husband. Joffrey walks you up the stairs to the altar setting you in place but not before leaning into your ear to speak to you and you alone. 

“Be a good bitch for my dog will you?” He gives you a smile and walks back down the stairs to watch with everyone else. You glance at the entrance wanting nothing more than to run knowing that if you do the only option after would be death. Refraining from the thoughts the priest speaks. 

“Please cloak the bride and bring her under your protection.” 

The other garment sandor holds is set out as he lifts it over you and places it around your shoulders. You look up at him for what is supposed to be a brief moment but your eyes keep their hold on his face. His usual resting bitch face is prominent but the hint of something you can quite make out.

“Your grace, your grace, my lords and ladies. We stand here in the light of God to witness the binding of these two souls. From house clegane symbol of three dogs on a golden banner, a loyal servant of the crown, And house vixen symbol of a fox on a red banner. May they be one in body, mind, heart and soul. Forever.” he says. You continue to look up at the hound only looking over when the priest takes a hold of  the bible and holds it out to you both. 

“You may place your hand on each other and join fingers” he says as you glance at Sansa who now stands next to Joffrey who gives a reassuring nod. Both you and the hound turn to face the priest as he holds his hand out. You place yours on top of his and intertwine your fingers, his hand so much bigger than yours. The priest wraps a red cloth around your hands. 

“In the sight of the king, the queen, god and man, I hereby seal these two souls, binding them as one. For eternity. Look upon one another and say the words.” he finishes step back a step. You turn to the hound as he does you. You look up at him once again he looks down to you trying desperately to avoid eye contact but the way you look at him doesn't allow that. You both speak in tandem. 

“Father, smith, warrior, mother maiden, crone stranger.” 

“I am his and he is mine.” “I am hers and she is mine.” 

“From this day until the end of my days.” you both end. 

“I pronounce you husband and wife of house clegane.'' The priest continues to take a slight intake of breath as the hound leans down to you close your eyes feeling the scruff of his bread cooled with the surprisingly softness of his lips against yours. You relax as you somehow melt into him only for him to pull away as everyone claps and cheers. 

—------

You sit at the head of the table, your hands in your lap picking at your nails, the stories Cersei wouldn't shut up about running through your mind about what the night is set to hold. The fear bubbling up in your throat. 

“Stop that.” Sandor speaks, making you jump. 

“You’ll ruin your nails, and you’ll bleed. I don't think you want blood all over your dress.” he says. 

“You don't seem very much concerned with yours.” you say 

“I don't need to be im not a princess.” he says scoffing at you before chugging his wine. 

“No you're not…but you just married so that makes you a prince.” you say. He sets his cup down harder than normal and reaches for the stronger alcohol. 

“Fuck me.” he cursses and pour it into his cup before taking a swing of it. This amuses you slightly and you let out a small laugh. 

“Something funny?” he gruffly asks. 

“The thought of you with a crown on your head all shiny, just like you are now but all the time.” you say. 

“Want me to be like your brother? If I was like him right now I'd be dead.” he says seriously. Your smile immediately fades. As you feel tears prick at your eyes. 

“Congratulations.” you look to your front seeing more people coming up to you and bowing you nod faking a smile. A glass clinks getting everyone's attention as the music and talking subsides. 

Cersi stands as she's going to speak. 

“I want to wish the newly weds good fortune and prosperity, for many children to come, and happiness to ensure” she says 

“HEAR HEAR!” Everyone chatters as they cheer mugs together and drink and continue eating. 

The rest of the evening is spent in quiet between you and sandor although he wanders off for a few minutes with the other kingsguard member speaking with jaime and joffrey before wandering back to you as your ladies in waiting lead you both to your new chambers.

Walking into the large room it has a huge bed made from oak wood which has been dyed black draped with red and black curtains covering in a soft comforter and pillows on each side a small table, a stone and steel plated fireplace with a fire blazing. A large sitting chair table next to it also formed from the black oak, in the corner is a golden tub and a desk with a mirror and a dressing screen. The large black dresser trunk and drawers. 

You look around entering the space as sandor follows behind you and you hear the doors shut. Your hand runs along the fabric of the bed, your mind wandering to the horrible things he’ll force upon you. 

You move your hair to one side as you take a hold of the strap along the back of your dress pulling at it loosening the fabric. Your hands are shaking slightly. 

“What are you doing?” Sanders' voice barrels at you. 

“U-undressing for you.” You say. He lets out a scoff. Pulling your hands away. 

“Don't bother.” He says gruffly as he passes you walking to the table with a jug of wine pouring some into a glass before chugging it and wiping his mouth. He looks at you now standing confused waiting for his command.

“What? Did you think I would bend you over this table and fuck the life out of you?” He says you look down embarrassed and unsure of how to answer.

“How ever you see fit to consummate… you may.” You say. He scoffs again. 

“Im not going to fuck you little fox, not now, not ever, I didn’t want to marry you, let alone marry anyone. The only thing I care about is blood and ale. If you want someone to deflower you it won't be me!” He barks. 

Before taking the jug of wine and heading for the door. 

“Wait.” You say he stops, turning to you. 

“What?” He ask 

“You’re not sleeping in here?” You ask. 

“Just because I'm your husband doesn't mean I take naps with you. I'm still the king's guard. I've got a job to do.” He replies and continues to head for the door before you stop him once again.

“Sandor.” You say he groans before turning around seeing you holding out his cape he took off to cover you yesterday. 

“I believe you might want this back.” You say. He takes a few short steps to you before taking it from your hands and slumping it over his shoulder,

“Don't call me that.” He speaks before finally, turning and walking out. Your ladies in waiting come to you after the door closes and help you undress from the uncomfortable garment and into your night wear for sleep

[creedslove]

hiii CAN YOU PLEASE MAKE A COCKWARMING HEADCANON WITH DAVE??? OMGGG OR JAVI, well I dont think javi would be patient enough hahah but I really dave and OMG PIKE WOULD LOVE IT😭😭😭😭 I didnt even know I had that kink just for my Pedro boys only ofc🥺 ily your series qnd your personality, im glad I follow you really, te amooo

Dave York x f!reader

A/N: omg bestie I love all the options really, but I had to go with Dave, our murder daddy just hits different, doesn't he? He is the one who needs some special loving, ❤️👁️🫦👁️

• you knew Dave well enough to figure out when a mission had been a success or when it hadn't gone well. Technically, all his missions were a success when he came home alive and you were very much thankful for that, but still, sometimes he found problems in the way, such as collateral damage or if he simply got hurt

• Dave tried his best not to bring work home, he knew it wasn't healthy, he liked his home a lighthearted place, full of love and good feelings and not a dead body count over his shoulders, but still there were days he was darker than usual, silent and keeping so much to himself and that was exactly when you knew you had to act

"hey darling"

• you'd approach him quietly, seeing Dave relaxing in the armchair, suit still on, tie hanging loose over his neck and a few unbuttoned places on his shirt, knowing it would catch his attention immediately: Dave was a traditional man, he liked his woman smelling good for him, wearing cute slutty outfits at home, hair looking good and it wouldn't hurt to have some lipstick occasionally

"hey baby girl, I missed you"

• your tired Dave would purr at the same time he would extend his arm towards you and pull you closer to him, already knowing exactly what he wanted and needed, he loved how damn sexy and beautiful you were for him, he constantly thought of how undeserving he was of you, but screw it: he'd learned to be selfish so he was keeping you all for himself

• as you'd come closer and straddle him, you finally saw the bruise on his face and that made your blood boil under your skin: your Dave was so handsome, how dare whoever the asshole who caused that bruise to do that? It was so unfair, but you calmed down, feeling your man's warmth and breathing underneath you, he was alive, which meant whoever was responsible for bruising him was now not only dead but probably beyond recognition

• it shouldn't bother you, but it didn't, life wasn't fair at all, and if you were blessed enough to have Dave, then it was other people's loss anyway

• you lifted the hem of your dress as you sat on his lap; panties were not needed at that moment, only your intimacy and hunger for each other, so you felt strong, gripping hands around your waist at the same time he pulled you for a kiss, a heated on, and in less than you could think of, you were both already making out as teenagers, undressing, squeezing, kissing, nibbling and touching

• Dave's thick fingers went to your sensitive core, spreading your lips apart gently, digits searching for your sweetness as he made sure you were ready, soon enough, he lifted you up and helped you take him entire inside of you

• and so you stayed there, his cock twitching patiently inside of your warm, slippery cunt, while you rested your foreheads together, exchanging kisses, words, and promises, there was no rush in the world, it was the closest he'd ever been to a human being, and it happened to you, because there was no one he would love more than yourself

• eventually, you two would begin moving again, until you found the bliss in each other's arms and body, Dave loved you more than anything in the world, for the most part of his life, he was seen as a monster, but he was no monster to you

• to you, his baby girl, he was just your Dave, the love of your life and your sweet, sweet hitman 💕

____

[ludinusdaleth]

Heya! Discovered-that-I-get-really-turned-on-by-fat-body-love-because-of-this anon. Don’t feel bad about that nickel at all, this is honestly really lovely

I’m also trans and now 2 months on T and I can literally already feel my body monologue going from “feeling icky about weight gain” to “but actually that would be kinda sexy though”. I’m not fat, but…would that be so bad?

As a small thanks may I offer…

If she hadn’t been there for apocalypse level events, I think the Everlight would have really enjoyed growing fat. Really enjoyed the aspect of mortality that is being embodied, but more than that, would have really enjoyed sharing in food, this central love language, with her mortal loved ones. She is the paragon of hugs, let her have some weight on her.

(Sidenote: chubby pike is canon, as is Scanlan gaining weight, and I love that for them 💜 . But. Genuinely fat Pike has my heart. Like femme muscle chub not-so-little monstah? Hell yeah)

Likewise, in the opposite direction, fat Asmodeus? Asmodeus who wants to take up all the space, who revels in being something some people are disgusted by and indulging instead.

Hell, the arch heart growing fat and seeing their body as an art form. Beauty doesn’t have to be thin; beauty can be round arms and artfully posing your fat rolls and having more room for tattoos.

The wild mother being fat in times of bounty and comfort, and preferring it to being bony or lithe, because she feels safer this way, gentler this way, more physically comfortable with some padding.

Fat Gods 💜

aah! love these

ive always felt every character of ashleys radiated chubby energy. the everlight is no exception. probably due to my own journey, but i cant untangle redemption & positive change from gaining weight. it's inherent comfort. it seems pike saw that too.

i am always invested in fat devils, because debauchery is literally part of their territory. i headcanon teven as a massive musclebear, so why not asmodeus? he no doubt shifts his body constantly - if everyone sees him differently, may as well make a show of it. he grins when he notices someone blush at this form, knowing their interests immediately.

i live and breathe the fat elf agenda, so i love an elf god being big. i really love cr has broken elven stereotypes constantly - corellon as THE elf progenitor played by a black man, many of the elves/fae having facial hair, and we even know a few who are fat! what makes an elf isnt some proximity to whiteness/thinness but rather how stunning they look, how strikingly beautiful that a human needs a moment to process it.

i dont know if you know anon, as your phrasing implies it's headcanon, but your idea for melora is exactly canon! her presentation as asha was pale & sickly like the burned world, but we know now in this age of exandria, at least pre-calamity 2, she has the round & fertile figure of a true wildmother. the land has grown bountiful & lush and so she has too. heres art of her right now!

im honored you find this foray into fat headcanons lovely. and im glad you're becoming comfortable with the idea of it. when i first looked for trans resources a decade ago i was bombarded with nothing but tips for "keeping weight off" and being a gym bro, and seeing others also see they could get bearish and accept it in this day and age is heavenly. not everyone has to engage with it but just being able to deconstruct the fatphobia so present within our spaces is worthy in itself.

[quarktrinity]

quark watches star trek season 1 episode 12

thanks for the recap kirk very helpful for part 2

its very funny to me that spock is taller than kirk

spock can you fucking explain what youre doing

"you must see the rest of the transmission" i already saw episode 0 once and it was a little gross spock :| must you

ugh god i dont wanna see all this again. im fast forwarding this shit

THEYRE JUST WATCHING THE EPISODE. THEYRE NOT EVEN ADDING ANYTHING JUST WATCHING AND REACTING UUUUGGGGGHHHHHHH

i understand that this episode didnt air and it was important to establish what happened for Plot Reasons but like. idk man. im not having fun.

kirk says spock is guilty :(

talos is apparently in control of the ship

FINALLY were done watching episode 0

oh shit the court guy was an illusion

the talosians are back :0

the whole trial was an illusion apparently

theyre giving pike the option to stay with them "untethered to his physical body"????

spock kept it a secret from kirk because he didnt want kirk to face the death penalty too :( they love each other

pike wants to go

i think spocks off the hook?

why does the background music think this is triumphant

both of these episodes were pointless. we couldve skipped this whole thing gene roddenberry just really wanted everyone to see his horny pilot that didnt get aired

[write-and-buried]

Hahahaha the Marcus Pike answer for the sleepover thing

AM I WRONG THOUGH??

Marcus Pike, love of your life, if you went to him and said "bb im sorry but i have to murder you" he would respond with

"I'm so sorry you're in this situation, allow me to go to the hardware store and get all the body disposal products you need, as well as signing you up for grief counselling and writing you a letter of my love so you have happy memories of me, we'll plan our final date and have a wonderful day and darling dont you lift a finger ill just run into the knife myself and lay own in the tub so you dont have to clean up, there's your favourite ice cream in the freezer"

[away-ward]

hey ko, i was that prev anon, and thanks for redirecting me to that blog!

and just want to make some comments here about:

"The op in the screenshots seemed to ask for a guy that wasn't a jerk, and PD was like "well, I tried and nobody liked it."

and

"PD seems to struggle with understanding what really makes their MLI seem like jerks."

i honest to god disagree with PD on this because birthday girl solely existed and written for the "nice guy who works hard in life, and deserves good things to happen to him" trope. Like pd literally wrote this for their fans who wanted something differently. And while pike lawson, the mmc, was not the most clean mmc ever, he really was overally just a good and great man.

-

here's some author's note about birthday girl from the recently re-released paperback of birthday girl:

BIRTHDAY GIRL Q AND A

Birthday Girl is different from your usual work. Did you worry that it would disappoint readers?

I think I'm always nervous. Especially when my editor gets ahold of a book! She's brutal.

But honestly, I never feel like I have a choice but to be who I am. I loved the idea, and it felt really good—a nice change of pace to write a kinder hero, someone who works hard for a living and deserves to come home to a person who loves him. I remember a reader saying, "This is the book I didn't know I needed from Penelope Douglas," and that was great to hear, because readers, I think, needed to see that I could write a man like Pike. He has his moments, but he's not a bully. He has no real trauma. He's a good man.

-

and guess what, birthday girl was actually loved by a lot of fans, even if theyre not fans of taboo romances, dark romances or bully romances. The only criticisms this book get was because of is 1. Age gap, 2. Light Misogyny, and 3. If they're just not into smutty taboo indie romances. Literally. So if PD KNOWS how to write mmc like pike and fmc like jordan, wtf do they mean they dont know how to write jerks? Like wh does what they said always dont make sense?

but then they also almost only seem like will grayson is a cute quirky guy acting as if he did not assault rika in corrupt so? Idk. And them being confused when people dont understand why tuernan in credence ended up with kaleb because kaleb was not given enough space in the books at the other two potential love imterest is so? Like why are you surprised? Putting aside all the taboo or problematic aspects of the book, kaleb still was not around tiernan a lot and their development was shite.

i just ugh, wtv haha idkew to think rn, i shouldve jjst read and move on

Ah see, I haven't read any of their other books, but I have heard birthday girl is one of their more well received even if credence is better known. I apologize for talking about what I didn't know.

So it seems they do understand how to write a character that isn't a jerk. But then why did the reader ask for a mmc that isn't a jerk, and why didn't PD just point to birthday girl instead of bringing up nightfall, which they should know their fans are divided on?

PD isn't an author I give a lot of mind to. For the most part, I'm not into what they write, so their reasonings don't often make sense to me. They really took a misstep here by asking for feedback and then immediately rejecting it when someone brought up a topic they didn't want to discuss (Alex). If that's the case, don't bring up the topic (nightfall) first.

Edited paragraph: It would be one thing if they actually wanted to learn and expand their understanding of what the issue is, but I truly don't think they care. They like what they wrote. They're proud of what they wrote. And they have a right to enjoy it. Writing takes so much time and energy, to reach a finished product is an accomplishment. I have no doubt it hurts to present your work to "fans" and then have them riot. Which is why they're wanting to shut down conversations about it; it hurts. But no body is conceding their side, and we shouldn't be expected to.

I don't feel there is a lot here to make sense of, and I don't understand enough PD to even attempt to explain a reason. It's unfortunate, really. Sometimes the best thing to do is just ignore the author and like you said, move on.

[indigo474]

Bye bye July-

My love affair is over.. I went to see him on Friday after work. Anyone who knows me- hardly anyone-haha- knows i go to bed early. I had to work until 9. I was a little concerned about being tired and showing up in a bad mood. I knew it was going to be a late night for me- but i decided to go for it.. I said to myself... as long as its not raining i'll be ok. I much prefer to drive during the day and night driving combined with rain.. just sucks. I head out after work feeling good. windows down, music up. I get on the turn pike and i was truly happy.. i did notice lightening up ahead but thought it was heat lightening and i was super stocked because i thought mother nature was putting on a spectacular show for me. Then, it started.. the rain, treacherous. it was like an omen.. dont go April, dont go.. but onward i went. i pick him up, he tells me he cooked dinner for us and we need to stop at wawa for bread. ok no problem. i'm still in an OK mood.. happy to be at my destination and looking forward to getting to the hotel to relax, have a beer and eat. Now, i had been thinking this man may not be too bright but... i didnt want to judge too harshly, after all he doesnt speak english and so on..we order 2 rolls from wawa.. in spanish and it was almost like he couldnt read.. we get to the hotel and he tells me he is waiting for them to send the key via notification.. earlier in the week he sent me a screen shot with the reservations. we are in the parking lots its 11 something. the key is not coming.. i say lets go in and see whats up- he says he wants to wait. I ask him how long does he want to wait. We go in and the guy says the reservations were not completed online- my friend needs an id to complete them. he doesnt have an id. It was a fucking disaster. we had to go to another hotel..didnt get there until after 12.. i paid. the sex was ok.. i was pissed, but i was like whatever.. i already had it in my head i was done with him.. he made dinner but failed to have eating utensils. luckly i grabbed napkins from wawa. he tells me he wants to take me to NY.. you cant even book a hotel aint no way in hell im going to NY with you. he tells me he went from mexico, arizona to NY. the first time we were together he told me he was in Charlotte.. i ask him about it and he says he never said that. He said it- i have a real big fucking problem with people who say shit and then say they didnt say it.. like a huge problem.. never speak to you again problem.. He tried extra hard because he knew i was upset. he kept asking me if i was still made.. a little. the next day i tell him i am ready to go as i want to get home. he asked me to take him food shopping.. No, i cant do that. He never offered to give me money for the room. I didnt ask.. i honestly wanted to see what he would do. Nope. it is what it is.. i dont know if the whole room thing was intentional.. im assuming yes.. he texted me a few times yesterday one i got home.. i texted him back saying what a shitty thing he did by not offering money for the room and that i didnt want to see him anymore. the end..

AND.. it was fun, but i knew it wasnt what i wanted. between my thinning hair, aging face, saggy body, i dont know how i'll ever meet someone. i'll have to depend on my winning personality. HAHA.. i text these men online and when i am myself, i never hear from them again. its hard to to think that i am the problem. it doesnt matter if im a good person.. i think a lot of guys want a someone who wants them for the things they can provide.. its easier than putting in any kind of effort. I dont think i want too much.. i just dont know if there is anyone in this world like me. i am going to have to fully embrace my singleness.. i havent wanted to do things alone in a while. i guess i am going to have to start or just not do things. I am trying to save money, so there is that and that is an excuse to not go out. My mind goes back to the fact that i wasted so much of my life with someone who never loved me and raising kids who dont love me.. such a fucking waste and i'm so far behind in life and cant image anyone ever loving me and that breaks my heart. that breaks my heart because thats all i really want.. someone to love and who loves me.. someone who consistently shows up.. someone i can count on.. ive never had that.

My friend in work got her xanax filled- actually got a higher dose too. She tells me she is positive Dr W does not have my records- i told her i was kick out of his office- she said the same thing happened to her years ago.. of course i didnt go into detail. she tells me to go, get what i want.. i know she is telling me because she is trying to be my friend.. i wish i had friends who asked me if i worked out today- or offered to go to the gym with me or asked me who much i lifted this week or maybe told me what kind of supplements they take or asked me what i took.. or shit about pre workout of food prep or asked me about my mental health anything other than where to get drugs.. i don't need anyone giving me advice on how to self destruct- i know i am capable of doing that on my own without the help of anyone.. and i know she's not trying to me mean or hurt me or anything like that- she thinks she is helping me by telling me to go see this Dr.. she doesnt know my story and everything that ive been through- and even if i told her, she still wouldn't know my story. maybe its just what i have to deal with because i told her to go see him.. i only did because i was tired of hearing her say xanax would cure all her problems..

I wanted to run on Friday but got stuck at the mechanics.. i didn't run Thursday so wed was the last time i ran and i didn't lift this week and that probably explains why i feel the way i do.

the weirdest thing. coming home from Downingtown.. i started seeing 3's everywhere.. like i made the right decision and i'm on the right path. trust the process.. the process sucks at times.. and its hard to trust anything..

i have to tell Madison Aunt Joanne is sick.I want to do it before my Mom does. i think Maddy has my Mom blocked.. but i really should tell her. weird thing, when i use to cry everyday you couldnt tell.. i would cry on my lunch break and return to work and my eyes looked fine. i haven't been crying and now when i do.. its so noticeable..

I need to get a new couch and get rid of the one i have. I would like to move but everything is so expensive.. i'm not sure what i am going to do.. i guess i'll keep looking and hope that something good comes my way..

[whiteerrors]

HOLLOW HEARTED

Rk900 x Heisenberg

A Resident Evil/Detroit Become Human Short Story

_______

Have you ever wondered what it was like to be torn open from the inside? Cain did at one point. His fingers twisting. Struggling to fight against the man who resembled a living EMP. His vision scrambled and shifted as he stared up at the old man before him. The greying hair that hung down at shoulder length. The trench coat and glasses he wore. Coated in scars. His grip on him was something he was incapable of breaking free of. Body no longer of his own free will as his broken body would bend and shift to the man's will pike a puppet.

"Your something else aren't you?" He asked in a low tone. Cain on his knees bowing low to him. Being an unfeeling machine one would expect no fear. But he feared this man. He had no control over himself. His blue blood coating the floor from a fractured arm the other had forcibly ripped from its socket. Wire and tubing exposed as Cain huffed. Not that he could breath. But hyperventilation was an involuntary deviant glitch. One that was not being driven back by his firewall made specifically for keeping deviancy out of his head.

"Y-y-you don't have to do thi-this-" voice glitchy. Shaken almost. And he wished that firewall did kick in to save his ass. But the Emp was causing so many malfunctions in his system even his Amanda program was gone. And his silver eyes so small it showed his fear. Led flashing red like crazy with no signs of stopping.

"Please. Spare me the god damn sob story. Didn't think I'd ever be saying that to a talking junkheap." He chortled lightly as his fingers wrapped around Cain's chin to force eye contact. Eyes peering into him like a man studying the impossible." I know you must be looking for a name to this monster. Am I right?" He asked with an amused grin. Teeth were surprisingly well kept among them." I'll humor you. Just this once. Karl Heisenberg."

Cain remained silent. As Heisenberg rose a brow as if to wait for the next answer. For the robot to say something until it did." C-c-ccccaaaaiiiinnnn."

"Cain?" Heisenberg hummed in question as he snapped his finger." From that biblical mumbo jumbo from the bible? Cain and Able?" He couldn't see straight but Cain could tell he was on the verge of laughter. Only to stop. His expression rather serious between the two as he raised his hand. Cain's body rising like a metallic puppet once more. His eyes wide as his sensors indicated damage to his legs. The wsound of bending plastic and splattering noises could be heard between them. Till he was dropped to the floor like an animal. A pool of blue blood seeping onto the factory's floor. One arm and one leg gone.

"Its odd not hearing screaming. The technology the bastards out there are making these days is fucking impressive. You look human. Hell even sound human. But I know you don't feel any of this. How could you, Cain? Your not alive after all." He kneeled over him. Such curiosity filling his gaze. He wondered what made this machine tick. No doubt a heart but not like that of a humans. His fingers lacing the chest of Cain. Its skin like color shifting to plastic undercoat as he raised his hand over it.

"Nnnnoooooo d-don't! Chris!" He yelled. He couldn't cry even if he wanted. But the fear was what made Heisenberg stop.

"Did you say Chris? That bolder punching asshat?" He said too much. He knew it.

But also...that statement kept him alive for the moment as he pulled Cain closer by his collar." You work for him?"

He didn't answer as he looked into his sensors and saw that minor damage had been added to the eternal pump.

"Y-yeeesssss." He choked on his words." Ddddoooont.."

"Dont worry tin can. I ain't gonna dissect you just yet. I got a bone to pick with that asshole anyway. Do me a favor. Sleep this off why don't you?" A surge of electricity surged through him. Shutting cain down almost instantly.

Leaving him in a everlasting darkness.

[thebewitchingbard]

I posted 4,546 times in 2022

322 posts created (7%)

4,224 posts reblogged (93%)

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I tagged 1,030 of my posts in 2022

#funny - 90 posts

#writing - 50 posts

#personal - 48 posts

#anime - 28 posts

#critical role - 22 posts

#tlovm - 21 posts

#about me - 20 posts

#the legend of vox machina - 20 posts

#tlovm spoilers - 19 posts

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Longest Tag: 130 characters

#i think to be a good landlord and i dont know it’s possible is to make rent that will allow for your renters to own their own home

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Percy is now Simba to me...if I were to cast the Vox Machina group into characters from the Lion King it still couldn't do it justice. I'm sure Hamlet is a closer version but...BUT...Lion King feels right.

29 notes - Posted February 12, 2022

#4

Okay but Moonshine and Hardwon’s “will they won’t they” is the stuff for fanfiction.

32 notes - Posted March 14, 2022

#3

34 notes - Posted January 2, 2022

#2

Also, I do personally think it's funny that people who don't have the context of the critical role are watching The Legends of Vox Machina.

So they might really think these Characters have plot armor on them. And it's like LOL no they're level 11. So they just have a larger HP pool than the guards :D

Seeing Vex experiencing prefer enemy as a headache interesting choice.

Pike using detect magic but not saying she's casting detect magic. It's just fun

"I know something you don't >:D"

83 notes - Posted February 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Listen the moment Percy stomping out the ghost in episode 4 wasn’t a hint of how crazy that man is. I don’t know what to tell you.

Everyone else used weapons. He used his human legs to SMASH that ghoul’s body in. Percival your good man.

101 notes - Posted February 5, 2022

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[blorbologist]

What if: Perc’ahlia Atlantis AU? With accompanying screenshot redraw

(Primary ref + Ideas under the cut)

Getting this out of the way, but I swapped the roles here to avoid the white savior trope as best I can - I see Vex and Vax as mixed no matter the AU, (my usual HC is Métis) and Percy is... the palest white bread, so! Congratulations whiteboy, you and Cass get to be Atlantians. I also did not draw any of the blue body paint the Atlantians have in the film, because I, too, am white as hell and do not want to overstep, given my culture has no such history.

Vex and Vax, disowned by Syldor, are desperate to earn money and end up roped into this outlandish expedition. Most likely due to their mother tongue being a close linguistic cousin to the Atlantian language, plus some relevant skills (both are archaeologists by education, though they haven’t had much practice due to uh Life; ofc they get their rogueish and ranger-ish skillsets too)

Doesn’t matter who gets the team together (Uriel? Allura? Gilmore?) - the point is Delilah and Sylas are overseeing the operation, filling roles similar to Rourke and Helga in the film. Maybe Ripley gets to tag along who knows.

Is Sylas still a vampire and Delilah a necromancer? Who knows I dont, maybe they played a role in Atlantis’ original downfall idk

The rest of Vox Machina are part of the expedition: Keyleth as a geologist with a passion for paleontology (there are SO many prehistoric easter eggs in the film and Kiki gets to freak out on my behalf). She’s literally the only person here for pure curiosity and thrill of discovery like Milo in the original film. Pike pretty much gets to take over Sweet’s role as the doctor, while Scanlan gets to be the mechanic just because I think it’d be very funny to have him sing while working only to break out into cussing. Grog gets demolitions because Yes. Gilmore might be with them if he’s not funding the expedition, though how he wouldn’t throw down with Sylas I have no clue.

Atlantis is similar to the film, except every bit about the power source is replaced with Residuum. Percy and Cass are the only de Rolos left after the cataclysm - no clue how the rest of the family died, but a thousand years wasn’t enough to get over it. Percy is likely technically the heir, but off messing with tech so much that Cass has to run the place (to her exasperation - and boy does shit go badly for her being in charge with the Briarwoods here to profit off her civilization). Main difference is that the cataclysm resulted in most knowledge about maintaining and creating tech being lost, and if not lost abandoned due to concerns about history repeating itself. Because yeah, how many ‘fantasy airbike mechanics’ got into that bubble? Not many I bet.

Percy, however, is still a tinkerer and trying to reverse engineer the old tech, but the lost language and a few other missing puzzle pieces frustrate his attempts to do so. So he’s very enthusiastic about these strangers showing up - especially when Vex is eager to help him out (she’s likely initially seeing huge dollar signs, but comes around very quickly).

Orthax is involved somehow. No clue What the bugger is doing but he’s here. Maybe encouraging Percy to use the power to fucking nuke everything to protect the city? 

That’s just about all I have for this AU. Not much, but! Figured it was worth sharing, especially paired with art <3

Heavily referenced this screenshot of Disney’s Atlantis: The Lost Empire. I’m learning to draw people, and Atlantis’ style is a favorite of mine - so, two birds and one stone: got to learn by practicing and give some life to a lil AU that hasn’t left me alone all day.

[republictrooper]

HYJINKS.

I LOVE HYJINKS.

I love just leaning into the weird mystical Vulcan Katra stuff again cuz why the hell not. Is it more fantasy than sci-fi? Sure, yeah, but also fuck it. BODY SWAP TIME.

I loved Dr. M’Benga’s hat and everyone was jerks for making fun of it.

I love Nurse Chapel and her ride or die winggirl Ortegas.

I love Una and La’an being workplace proximity associates who dont need shore leave.

I love those poor ensigns.

I somehow came out of this episode shipping Spock/T’Pring, Spock/Chapel. AND Chortegas. Like. Goddamn. It’s all so good.

If I had to choose one though it would definitely be Chortegas. The whole “Wingman was the one you shoulda been kissing all along” thing? That’s ROMANCE, baby.

But seriously, the insight into Spock and why he holds his duty to Starfleet so dear. The revelation that the little teasing friendship he has with Chapel goes both ways. It’s so good.

I love Spock and T’Pring actually having a history and not just being an arranged marriage, and I love how they can have a knock down drag out fight AND a tender reconciliation in which they lay their souls bare while talking like they’re discussing the weather. I mean, yes, we already know this is gonna end horribly for both of them but also. Like. Get you a couple that can do both.

I still feel like there’s gotta be a story behind why T’Pring is on a first name basis with Captain Pike. I wonder if we’ll ever get that story.

Also, PLEASE tell me Ortegas got those Lirpa scars fighting the fiance of some cute Vulcan lady she seduced. PLEASE.

Seriously though. Love me a good pure 100% Office comedy episode full of HYJINKS. Strange New Worlds remains undefeated.

[bokutoskitten]

go greek!

18+

synopsis- after a lot of convincing eren managed to get you to come to his frat party, where will the night take you?

cw- eren jaeger x f!reader, college au, praise kink, inexperienced reader (not a virgin), alcohol (y/n nor eren get drunk), sub reader, nipple play (f receiving), sex, all characters are 18+

these are just stereotypes about certain sorority’s/frats at a college in my state! Each college is different!

you didn’t really understand how you got put in this situation. Loud cheering, the smell of cheap beer and the sight of people making out in almost every corner of the crowded house.

You belonged to a sorority on your campus, definitely not a top tier… but you were in a sorority! Everyone knew your house as sweet and cute, but were innocent, rarely left the house.

You focused mainly on your classes like your sisters, you didn’t pay attention to any of the frats. That was until you met him. Eren Jaeger. It was a simple school girl crush on a guy in your poli sci class. You would of never imagined that a guy like him would ever pay attention to you.

When Eren found out that you were in Greek life he asked “why haven’t I seen you at any parties?” He quickly understooon once you said your sororities name, chi o’s. Everyone know chi omegas dont party much to keep their “good girl” status.

Eren asked you if you wanted to come to a party on Friday that his frat was hosting, pi kappa alpha (pike), you told him that you needed to study. Your sisters always told you to never hang out with a pike, they were just rich fuckboys who would use you and throw you out the next day.

But eren couldn’t be like that- could he?

Eren had grown bored of fucking tri delta’s and kappa kappa gamma girls, all they cared about was status. But not you. No, you were different. Eren knew the reputation he held, a class A douche bag. He just hoped that you hadn’t of heard about his reputation, in fear that it would scare you away. He hated how he was In the past, he wanted to change for the better and leave his fuck boy status in the past.

That’s how you ended up here. At the pike’s frat house, alone, no eren to be seen. As you tried looking around the house you felt an arm reach around your shoulder. Your plan was to stay at home and watch a movie like you did most weekends, but something overcame you and you decided to do something out of your comfort zone.

“Why are you all alone little lady?” Asked a clearly drunk man, “I- I’m sorry, have you seen eren? I was supposed to meet him here” you nervously responded looking up at the male.

“Y/n!” You heard from across the room. It was eren, even from at a distance you could tell he was upset. There was some bickering between eren and the boy who was talking to you, jean. But eventually he grumbled some words under his breath and left.

“I’m really sorry about that. He didn’t scare you too much did he?” Asked eren guiding you to an empty sofa. “I’m okay! Thanks for inviting me, your brothers seem nice…?” Your words came out more unsure than you were planning.

Chuckling he said “yeah sorry about them… so um, can I get you a drink?” Nodding your head you replied “s-sure!” Eren came back with two red solo cups, one for you and one for him. You smelled the liquid within the cup for a second before bring it to your lips. It tasted like strawberry lemonade with a bitter vodka aftertaste.

Your face scrunched your at the bitter taste. “Don’t force yourself to drink that if you don’t like it” chucked eren as he watched you try to drink the vodka concoction. “It’s okay! It’s just a little stronger than what I’m use to!” You replied taking another sip. By now that the alcohol was flowing through your system, the taste didn’t bother you as much.

You continued to chat with eren about your major; poli sci. Which was the same as erens, you talked about favorite tv shows and your favorite places to get food near campus. You where really surprised at how much you were enjoying yourself. Frat parties had always seemed really scary, but this was the exact opposite. You were actually having fun for once, not stressed about grades and trying to keep your high gpa.

Your conversation was suddenly interrupted as girl walked up to eren. “Hey eren” she slurred, “you look really nice tonight… wanna go back to my place and have more fun” she asked. Your heart sunk. She was extremely pretty, and you recognized her. She was the president of a sorority on campus. The top sorority on campus.

Before eren could open his mouth you said “s-sorry umm excuse me” as you quickly got up from the sofa tears started to prick the corner of your eyes. Somehow you found a room that was empty, you sat down on the bed as you tried to control yourself from crying.

I knew it was a bad idea to come here… eren could never see me as more than a girl he chatted with in class…

The door surprisingly swung open causing you to become startled. “I’m sorry y/n- I didn’t mean to scare you. I was just worried, you ran off so suddenly” eren spoke as he made his way to the bed. “Shouldn’t you be with that girl right now…” you mumbled brushing some stray tears from off your cheek.

“Why would I be with her? Y/n- I want to be here with you. That’s why I’ve been talking with you this whole night, your fun to be around”

“Really…?”

“Yes really, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you feel sad”

“It’s okay… maybe we should go back downstairs, I don’t want to be in a random persons room.”

“Nah don’t worry about it this is my room”

“O- oh okay”

Eren leaned in a bit closer, “you know your really pretty, right” you felt heat rush to your face as you quickly said “oh- umm thank you!” You felt his hand cup your face as he said “is it okay if I kiss you?”

“Yes please”

When his lips finally connected with yours the sweet taste of the strawberry lemonade filled your senses. He nibbled a bit on your lower lip letting you know to open your mouth a bit more letting his tongue slip in.

A little moan escaped your mouth as erens hand made its way to waist, giving it a gentle squeeze. “You make the cutest sounds” he hummed as he pulled away from your mouth.

“At any moment you want to stop, just let me know, okay” he spoke in a gentle but stern tone. “O-okay” you replied. “So are you like a… virgin?” Eren asked, “what! n-no, I’ve only done it once… it’s been a while” you said shifting your face away from his as embarrassment spread through your body like a wild fire.

“Look at me cutie, that’s totally okay. Is it okay if I take this off?” He asked as his fingers lingered on your skirt. “Yes please” you breathily murmured. Now that your skirt was off you were left in your lace panties and a tank top.

Eren began lightly sucking on your neck as he made his way closer to your chest, looking at you he asked for permission to remove your tank top and bra as was well which you quickly gave him a nod of approval. His mouth made its way to your breasts as he began sucking and licking your nipples, you could already tell that by the time he reached your panties you would be drenched.

“Fuck- your going to look so pretty all marked up” he spoke as his tongue sucked on your nipple while he rolled the other one with his thumb. “Pleaseee eren” you breathily moaned as the pulsing feeling in your pussy was growing stronger.

“Please what?” He teased, “eren!” You whined giving him a pouty face.

“Come on y/n, tell me”

“Eren please touch me!”

In an instant eren swiftly removed your underwear, he threw it to some random corner of his room. Before you could complain about him throwing them so far away you were pleasantly surprised when he thrusted two of his fingers into you.

You quickly smacked your hand over your mouth to conceal your moan. “I want to hear you” he said sternly, you quickly removed your hand from your mouth not wanting to disappoint eren.

“Much better”

Even though he was just fucking you with his fingers it felt so good. “Ah!” You moaned as you felt eren move his another finger to your little bundle of nerves. “You like that?” He questioned, although he knew the obvious answer.

“Yes! Feels ‘s- so good!” You managed to speak out. “I can feel you tightening around me, are you gonna cum?” Questioned eren. “Y..yes!” You moaned loudly as your body finally gave in to all of the pleasure as you hit your release.

Eren pulled his fingers away from you, your essence dripping down his hand. “Look you made a mess” he spoke as he brought his hand to his mouth. “Mmhm you taste sweet” he said after licking his fingers clean.

“Erenn that’s embarrassing” you whined throwing your arm up to cover your face. “Don’t do that” said a stern voice as a hand grabbed your wrist and brought it down to the side of your body.

“Don’t hide from me, I want to see your face” said eren, by now you could see his cock was hard, the outline very prominent in his pants. “Please eren” you panted as you squeezed your legs together in anticipation. “You want my cock?” Chuckled eren knowing that you desperately wanted him.

“Yes eren! Please”

“Good girl”

He slipped off his sweatpants and shirt, you could see how big his cock was just from the imprint in his boxers. Your mouth was basically drooling from staring at erens flawless washboard abs.

Your heart was pounding out of your chest when you felt eren rub is flushed tip against your soaking entrance. “Erennn just put in it” you whined giving eren a pouty face. “You are just so needy” he chuckled as he teased you a bit more. You gasped when you suddenly felt eren thrust himself into you, barley giving you any time to adjust to the feeling.

“Holy shit- your so tight” he swore as he picked up his pace. “Aah! Erennn” you moaned as his hips slammed against yours. You couldn’t believe the situation you were in, you tried to remember how it even escalated to this but your body was so overwhelmed with pleasure you were having a hard time remembering.

“H-harder!” You cried tightening yourself against eren. “Fuck” a curse slipped out of eren’s mouth as you did that. “Feels ‘s- so good” you said as ecstasy flowed through your body.

“Your being such a good girl for me, taking me so well fuck- such a good job” he praised as he fucked you at a ruthless pace.

As eren looked down at you tits bouncing up and down, he felt so much different than he did with other girls. He didn’t want to fuck you then throw you out, he wanted to cuddle with you and litter you with kisses. Was he crazy…? Or was he just catching feelings…?

“Keep going eren! I-I’m so close!” You moaned as one of eren hands made its was to your clit gently massaging it. “Your doing so fucking good for me, I know you can do it, be a good girl and cum for me” he said as he felt you squeeze him even tighter than before. You felt yourself finally hit your peak. Pure bliss washed over your body as you rode out your orgasm with a high pitch moan.

“Fuck” groaned eren as he quickly pulled out squirting his cum onto your stomach. After taking a couple deep breaths he got up, leaving you alone. You knew deep down all he wanted was sex, you decided that in a minute you would get up to clean yourself off then leave the party.

“Eren..?” You said in shock seeing him come out of the attached bathroom with a small damp towel. “Yes y/n?” He questioned as he made his way over to you then began cleaning you off.

“Oh- nothing!” You responded quickly smiling at the boy in front of you. “You didn’t think I was gonna leave you here, did you?” He questioned with a smile.

“What! No-” you replied with a huff, before you could finish eren cut you off with his laugh.

“I would never leave you here alone, I hope you know that”

“Yeah, I do now….”

“Good”

Eren laid down in bed next to you grabbing your waist and pulling you closer to his warm body.

“Goodnight y/n”

“Goodnight eren”

[sparring-spirals]

okay you’re better at meta than i am, but i was thinking about fearne, and yasha, and pike today - isn’t it interesting that they all play on this idea of leaving/being left behind? like yes, pike and yasha were somewhat because of ashley filming, but like them, fearne is forced to leave a place (feywild), after (assuming) her parents left her behind there?

just sayin, i think there’s somethin there!!

Oooh, now that's something. Don't sell yourself short! That's a whole Thought in and of itself.

Eternal disclaimer- I'm not as well acquainted with Pike, and I feel like we're pretty early for Fearne. but, from what we see now:

Yeah, I definitely think Ashley being gone in chunks of C1/C2 contributed to this theme. Especially with Pike, where I understand there to be an ongoing conflict about her feeling like she wasn't there enough- as a healer, continually needing to leave, and coming back and finding friends dead, or lost, or heartbroken. The leaving, the gaps, the disappearances, fundamentally tied into (at least one facet) of her conflict.

But in C2, Yasha's story was one fundamentally composed of grief, and loss, and guilt. There is so much, about being left behind (being left alive, again and again), about leaving others behind (both good and bad- dead bodies in snow, learning to let go of ghosts and loves and guilt).

Yasha's extended disappearances were- related, yes, but not the cause of the conflict anymore- instead, they were a natural manifestation of her internal conflict. Yasha would leave the M9 for days, weeks at a time- but it wasn't really about that. It was about a dead wife, a dead friend in the ground, pressed flowers in a journal that was so much heaver than its physical weight, memories and a multicolor coat.

It was- at least a little- about being left behind by loved ones, and learning how to live, and leave their ghosts behind after.

(dont let me be a shackle)

(🥺🥺 sorry im just thinking about yasha again)

So FEARNE- now Fearne is interesting, because Fearne is- well, kind of a wild card. To put it lightly. A fae, yes, but I don't want to attribute it to just that. Fearne is, Simply Vibing 99% of the time, with an understanding of "consequences" much like a bird understands airplanes. (Largely irrelevant until it very suddenly is, and then its fine again). If anything, we could say that Fearne is good at leaving things behind.

But, specifically, the little things. Because this hasn't stopped her from forming attachments! Despite her... wiggly morals, and her delight in causing problems and lying and inciting mayhem, even among people she does like- she demonstrates protectiveness, and empathy, and at least once or twice so far, a desire to not be separated. A genuine, actual sadness to being rejected. And twice now- she has shown sympathy, empathy, to a creature locked up. And yeah! She was presumably forced to leave the Feywild, presumably after being left behind! That's something. That really is.

All this to say: Fearne's story seems like its going to be drastically different from Yasha, or Pike's for sure, unbound by a cornerstone of moral quandary or grief the way theirs were. But Fearne is definitely not invulnerable to loss or fear or sadness, and so- the thoroughline of leaving things, being left behind? Could very much play a part. I'm excited to see if that's the case :D