#i just dont know how to make it sound like a child didnt write it

[girlscience]

how am i supposed to do grad school if i cant even finish a 1000 word essay about myself

[b4kuch1n]

crumbs in your bed

transcript

[tacagen]

gotta say, the new dw intro really scratches my brain just the right way

[jubiilee13]

I am begging for jealous Mike either angsty or fluff

But just imagine him pouting because we are focused on Abby and he wants our attention

But angst hes suddenly back to when the house was hollow and his parents barely uttered a word to him

YEA YEA YEA YEA NOW WERE TALKING OMG

this literally made me emotional writing it my poor pookie bear hes so wifey he doesnt deserve that

this is not proof read so it may be a bit ass so sorry

love you anon 😍

—

It was summer break for Abby, and by this point you and Mike had been dating for a few months.

Mike was… clingy to say the very least.

Not that you minded of course, you thought it was quite cute when he clung to your side at every oppurtunity.

It did interfere at times however...

Now was one of those times.

You sat beside abby at her desk, listening carefully as she explained each little bit of her drawing which was currently in progress.

A gentle smile formed on your lips, and you watched her carefully, your hand combing through her hair as she works.

She continued her rambles, and you cant help but chuckle at her eagerness.

A knock on abbys door tears you from your thoughts, yet abby doesn't flinch, continuing her work as you gently pat her back, telling her you'll be back in a moment.

When you open the door, you meet mikes tired gaze, and you frown a bit, stepping out and closing the door behind you. (to ensure abby's masterpiece making isnt disturbed)

"You ok my darling?" your voice asks, concern evident in your tone.

Mike nods, but it is hesitant, and he immediately begins to ramble nervously "it-its stupid nevermind" he whispers, sounding almost embarrassed as he turns on his heel to leave.

Your gentle hand reaches out to grab his own, eyebrows furrowing with concern.

"Its not stupid, talk to me mike, im here to listen" You say, your grasp on his arm gentle, yet enough to cause him to break.

He lets out a quiet sob, and you dont hesitate to pull him into your arms.

"Hey hey hey im here mike, im here, talk to me, ive got you" you say gently, one hand combing through his hair as he cries into your shoulder.

You let him cry, leading him to the living room couch where he rests his head on your shoulder as he sniffles.

"You wanna talk about it" you mumble, still caressing his hair

He nods softly, taking a few deep breaths to compose himself before he begins to speak.

"I-i- i wasnt g-given much attention as a kid... after garret a-after all my... my mom and d-dad were too wrapped u-up in their grief to... to care... there were nights w-when i had to cook my o-own dinner... i-i i didnt even know how... but burnt food was b-better than starving. even before the w-whole garret thing, he was t-their golden child" he says, taking in another shaky breath as he continues.

"Ever... ever since i started dating y-you... i felt... i felt loved... cared for... but s-sometimes i get... scared that... one day you'll just... stop caring. I-i mean you love abby s-so much- and i d-do too dont get m-me wrong... its s-stupid i know but s-some days i get scared abby w-will be just like garret... and you'll leave me like they did" he whispers, a bit embarassed by his jealousy of his younger sister.

Your face softens, and you pull away to cup his face with your gentle hands.

"Your problems are not stupid, and i love you so much mike, more than i think words can even portray, i will never, and i mean NEVER stop caring about you, you are my sun, moon, and stars, you know that?" you say gently, a smile on your face as you wipe any stray tears that escape his beautiful eyes.

"Im sorry it seems like ive been neglecting you for abby, that girl is just the sweetest and shes like a daughter to me, but never will i ever stop caring for you over her" you say eyes never leaving his own

he sniffles again, and another wave of tears takes over him as he engulfs you in his arms now, body shaking as you comfort him.

The two of you would be ok

It takes time to heal, but deep down mike knew that he had found a keeper, and he wouldnt want to heal with anyone else but you

[yanderehsr]

Hii! How r u? How was ur dai? About the oc thing...Could I prety please with cherry on top get a platonic platonic Furina, Ei, Nahidaand Venti with a reader that is like a elf? Idk, how to explain it, so I am gonna add a picture to how I wiev it:

Her name is Eclipsa and has white hair and pointy ears(ofc since she is an elf). And I dont mean like Santa's elfs, I mean the ones from greek and romanian mytology.

About the bakstory: Lets just say that she is the daughter of The Heavenly Principels(lets just call her THP bc I am lazy) (ik it sounds cringe but hear me out😭) and since THP was not all the lovey dovey tipe and probably VERY bad with children (maybe even hate them idk, I really cant see her motherly) she just decided to throe her to Tyvat into the care of the archons untill she was old enough (16 years old) to come to Celestia (bacically be mature since she doesnt want a cryng baby around). Eclipsa is growing, just like Klee slower (there is a theorh that says that Klee is 80 but is also 8 bc she is growing 10 times slower than normal) and everu 100 it adds 1 year rlto her age. Now, lets say that when she was 10(1000) she overheared somebody say that the archons dont actually like her (like parental figures ofc) and that they probably just cang get rid of her. She actually belivd them like a dumb child that she is and ran away (opened a portal to another world and dissapeared without anybody's knoladge). Now, lets just say for the sake of this au to make it more interesting (maybe more cringe but I am having fun ok?😭) that the disaster from Khaenri'ah happened bc the person occ heared it was a khaenriah'n and THP since finding this out was like "OH HELL NAHH" and this iz the reason they destroyd Khaenria'h. THP gave the archons untill Eclipsa was to turn 16 to find her. Well, now, at 15, she randomply (and awkwardly) came back. (Maybe she finally got into her head the ideea of checking Irmansole to see if the archons truly hated her and surprise surprise, ints not true). Now, imagine the characters meeting Occ in their nation. For Venti- at windrise, for Ei in the city (near the statue), for Nahida just at the spirit tree (maybe one of her little friends passed that message for her) and for Furina(back when she was still an archon) she was told from Neuvillette that he sensed Occ's presence(lets just say that higher ups are aware of Eclipsa's existance, including Furina. Perhaps she has read about Oc in one of the books she read to find a solution to Fontaine's profecy).

Also, I imagine ooc to look like this when she was little(I just love this fanart sm😭):

(One thing to note is that none of theres fanarts are mine, and idk who they are from to credit them. Also te line I made was bc there was some writting on that picture and I didnt want it to be out of the context:>)

About personalit I see her as somebody who is quite the drama queen and loves attention 24/7. She loves pulling pranks all the time and also like annoyng people, but in a joking way. Hoever I see her as somebody who has her moments of understanding and is quite the menance to societity(pretty mhch like how Klee is). About her powers, she is developing since young THP's powers but since she is not even 18, its definetly not as affective.

Anyways, I know it might be a weird request or cringe, and maybe I wrote too much, or gave too little information. Also, I am VERY sorry if you cant undrtstand this request, english is not my first language and I pretty much have dyslexia(not bad one tough, I am still working on correcting mynself :D) and I tried to make sure I made as little mistakes as posible but its hard to spot them when its a big paragraphe, uk? therfor you are always free to ignore thiz request, hopw you have a nice day and good luck writting so many requests. Also, congrats on 1k followrs!! :D

...Did I just read an entire fanfiction XD, I will gladly write this, and thanks for the congrats😆

Hope you'll enjoy😄

Trigger Warning: Yandere, Obsessive behaviour, Possessive behaviour, Kidnapping

Furina: She knows almost nothing about her, Neuvillette doesn't seem to remember anything about her and there are no books about it, hell the only reason she knows about Eclipsa is because Focalors thought of it as important that she knew about The Heavenly Principles daughter if she was going to act as an archon.

Furina's first meeting with Eclipsa is when Neuvillette is showing her around, it was instant love... not the romantic kind, the platonic kind, Eclipsa looked like a doll, so perfect to dress up, so perfect to have around, Furina feels lonely and Eclipsa makes her feel whole again, so she takes what she wants.

Furina dislikes The Heavenly Principles, she would be happy if she was hated by them, her performance is over either way, the profecy is fullfilled, is it really so wrong of her to be selfish... you will see Furina run around Fontaine with Eclipse causing havoc, as long as she is with her she doesn't feel lonely, and now she never will

"Y-you aren't leaving me right, right... ANSWER ME PLEASE... I'm sorry for yelling, I just don't wanna lose a friend so dear, you can understand, right?"

Raiden Ei: The day Eclipsa dissapeared was the day her sister died... not only did she lose her very own sister, she also lost someone she practically viewed as a daughter, she had never felt such horrible pain before, so she shut herself away as to not feel it again.

So many years spent in isolation, all Ei could think about was her sister and Eclipsa, she swore if she could just get them back, she would protect them both with her life, she just wants things to go back to normal, like it used to be.

So many years had passed that Ei nearly didn't recognize Eclipsa, she had so many questions for her, but she didn't say a single one... screw The heavenly Principles, she was going to protect her as best she could, Eclipsa don't even get a chance to talk before she was shut inside the plane of Euthymia.

"So long, you have been away for 500 long years... but that's okay, you're here now, I'll make sure you not come to harm like what happened to Makoto"

Nahida: She doesn't have much knowledge of Eclipsa, she isn't recorded in the Irminsul, all the knowledge Nahida has of her is what her predecessor left for her she didn't forget, she is confused why Eclipsa isn't around... did she dissapear or worse, did she die?

Nahida is confussed when she feels Eclipsa's precence by the Irminsul, it feels familiar but she can't figure out why, of course like the curious 500 year old child she is, she went to figure out what caused such familiarity... Nahida knew who it was the second she laid eyes on her, this is who she is supposed to protect like the Greater Lord she once did.

Nahida asks a lot of questions, why is she here? Why was she gone? Eclipsa is now her favorite subject to learn about, Nahida takes up some kind of little sister role to stay close with her, she needs to know everything, feed her ever-growing curiosity, maybe one day she will introduce Eclipsa to the Wanderer... but that can be later, Nahida wants to be selfish for a bit longer.

"Curious, you being here fills me with a feeling like... like a hole, you fall down it everyday and it just feels so annoying, then suddenly someone has covered it up and I don't feel annoyance anymore... You need to stay with me for a bit longer, I need to figure out why"

Venti: He isn't all that interested in following The Heavenly Principles orders, but he still did as to not occur her wrath... he did not expect to take care of a child, he wasn't the best, he got constantly drunk, never took anything serious, except for protecting Eclipsa from any danger.

It was no surprise that Venti felt such fear and despair when Eclipsa dissapeared, he had lost yet another loved one... why does he still care, it always happens anyways, no relation lasts forever, no matter how much he tries to drown the memory of her in even more alcohol, it doesn't work

That's when Venti notices her precence, after 500 long painful years, is she finally back? Is this his second chance. He meets Eclipsa at windrise, she look just as well as when she dissapeared... He doesn't care what The Heavenly Principles thinks or wants, he will keep Ecilpsa safe and away from her, He will keep that smile on her no matter what.

"It sure has been a while hasn't it, soooo how have you been, hope you missed me for I have missed you"

[lapisamatize]

Naucious!

Naucious? Nouncious?? Naucheosu??!

Dottore x reader

Anon: its 11 pm rn and Im susposed to be studying but ive thought of a great idea to write! How about an established fic with the reader and dottore carrimg a child of their own ehheheh

Didnt reread this that much, more of a drabble, need to WRITE I'll practice more on how to write! please bare with me on how cringe this will be.

----

In the wide halls of the estate where the 2nd Harbinger stayed, giggles can be heard echoing through it.

"You little annoyance! Pilin get over here!"

A segment of dottore's, Eon was chasing the child of Prime and his wife through out the maze of halls. He was holding her pants in his hands, that was susposed to be put on after taking her a bath . Well that backfired, and here they are. Bumping to some maids or employees here and there, Eon was amazed on how she had this much energy...

She was giggling to herself while also looking back at Eon at time to time, making sure he doesnt catch up to her. He was getting exhausted, feels like he ran a whole marathon. His speed was slowing down bit by bit, she turned around and noticed this.

"Hehe!!~ Yor suawch a slowww poke!!" she giggled, instinctively closing her eyes. Not aware of her surroundings, she bumped into a person. At first she thought it was another of her dads employee, clearing her vision she saw only a pair of legs (shortass).. rubbing her eyes, she tried to stood up and see who it was.

"I'm sorry I-"

She was dead. DEAD. It was the last person she would bump to in this situation..

"Miss Pilin (Y/Ln), what on teyvat are you doing."

"Mother! I can expla-"

She was cutted by Eon finally catch her. He lifted her up, making her face to him. "Hmph, I still dont know where she got this energy from." He sideseye the mother of the child thats beside him. She chuckled from his comment. She gently took the girl from his hands to her own. "Thank you Eon, i'll take everything from here" Eon handed her Pilin's pants. Feeling grumpy he looks away and crossed his arms "I expected a reward from running around the palace while also dealing with that annoyance" She looked at him with a smirk and raised her eyebrow knowing what his intention was. Deciding wether she should toy with him this time. "Was gonna give you a kiss but it seems you wanted something else *insert dramatic sigh* I guess I don't have anything much more to offer-" Eon looked at her with wide eyes and wanted to say something but stopped, not wanting to sound desperate.

"I'm just joking! thank you for everything" She kisses him in the cheek, Pilin in her hands made a puke noise but he didnt seem to mind her. She chubb his cheeks "Don't tell prime about this, but I love you" -----------

End

[royalwriteroftheuniverse]

I Just had a Baby with Chris

We all have our favorite Hollywood Chris so choose your favorite to have a child with.... at least fictional chose your favorite but I did write in Christopher Robert Evans name (I do not know him personally and this is an alternative Universe with how my version of Chris would act. )

Comments Welcome nd reblogs welcome to not repost translate or publish anywhere

18+ just in case as always language, mentions of breastfeeding a baby just hours of childbirth nothing graphic fluff a tiny tiny bit of angst because someone wants to hold thier daughter while the other- oh well you'll see but totally fluff:

"Hey look its Mommy she's waking up, say hi Mommy" Chris placed a gentle kiss to to his sleepy newborn daughter and waved her tiny hand. He was walking around the room with his shirt off and the baby just in her diaper

"Honey she's 12 hours old I think the skin to skin contact is-"

"Hey," he whined "you get skin to skin"

"Well I'm breastfeeding her, its inevitable."

"Let me have her now." He moved sideways half in possession had in teasing.

"Chris she's not going to automatically because a daddys girl just cause of that."

He pouted "I can try."

I smiled it was cute he's been waiting so long for this and all he wanted was just to hold her. But I didn't want her to get cold. But I guess Chris body heat helps. I looked at the time.

"Gimmie she gunna be hungrey"

"No she's fine." He gave her a few kisses on the side of her head."

"Christopher Robert Evans are you withholding our daughter from me?"

"No I-"

"Need I remind you who spent 18 hours of labor I. Want. My. Child." I growled because oh hell no "Dont you dare-"

"Ok, ok. Look Mamas all protective she loves you so much. Daddy knows better than to say no."

"You already did now give me my child." I don't know why but at this moment I was ready to kill him.

Then she started getting fussy and the started crying within seconds.

"Sweetheart now look what you did she's crying she needs her mother."

"She needs her father too."

"Don't make me throw this tissue box. Give me my child I will not ask again." She was full on crying and I need my child I was thinking of how I could kill him and not let our baby fall to the floor.

"Ok ok" Chris handed her over.

"Hi there baby" she was still crying

"I know Daddy doesn't listen to Mommy he loves you but Mommy know when you need food doesn't she." I cooed "yea I know you're Hangrey just like Mama"

She cried harder with a higher pitch, making Chris wince,

"Just like Mama," I smiled. She is definitely my kid.

I got my chest out and arranged to hold her and within seconds she was feeding and calming down. Frankly so was I.

I looked at him with an I told you so.

"How'd you know?"

"Chris she's been eating every like 4 or 5 hours- I just knew. I'm sorry I got aggressive I just." I sigh "I know how long you've wanted to be a Father for but I wanted to hold her I knew she was gunna be fussy I just knew. "

"Honey it's ok the doctor said your hormones will be a bit outta wack."

"Out of wack I threatened to hit you with the tissue box"

"I refused to give you or child."

"Ok your right I win." I smiled. He rolled his eyes- I wasn't going to argue when I already won.

And then looked down at our now sleeping and eatting angel.

Then I heard his camera phone.

"Chris I am half naked."

"Come in its a beautiful thing"

"Breastfeeding, my chest or our child?"

"All three." It sounded like half question half statement

"You learn fast. "

He chuckled. "I love you so much I didnt think I could love you any more than I do or did but seeing you bring her into this world giving me the family I wanted making it complete and then all this love I have for this little one all because of you l. You're amazing.?

"Thank you." I looked at our little bundle of joy and she truly was. I cannot believe is ours I can't believe I gee. I can't believe I pushed something this sized out if my body.

" I mean it I'm I don't have the words right now and all the thank you and all the "I love yous" in the world dont even begin to scratch the service.

" How about you get some sleep and let the nurses in the nursery take her for a bit hm?

You need rest. Its their job."

She grabbed my finger in her sleep.

"And miss out on these moments. No." He took another picture.

"Hmm yea she is a calm baby when she gets what she wants. Just like mama was wasn't she? No really tho I'd wake up half the nursery plus And we're doating over her. She knows already we're hooked."

There was a small knock on the door.

"Hey how are you two doing I brought some food I figured you'd both be awake.

How'd you know

"I was, our first born is always special.

"Thanks Ma" he deadpanned.

"Chris hasn't gotten any sleep he's very insistent on the skin to skin content I think the nursery should be fine taking care of her so we sleep after all we won't have help like that for at least 18 years. "

"I can always watch her when you get home if you need seep"

"Really? Oh you are the best mother in law ever"

I sigh, "Sorry I'm tired. I shouldn't be just had a nap but I am"

"You napped for 20 minutes darling. After 18 hours of labor you deserve sleep."

"Only 20 minutes? She's still feeding dont let me sleep."

"It's ok if you do"

"I just don't want to miss a second. Besides I bullied Christopher enough for her."

"Oh really" the grandmother smirked.

"Yea I knew she was going to want to eat and I wanted my daughter and he wouldn't hand her over...but I also threatened him with the tissue box. "

"Chris you knew better than to come between a mother and her child."

"I just wanted to hold her," he defended himself "Half that cute butt is mine."

"Yea her butt is cute. come'er on the side she's feeding just sit behind me can barely keep my eyes open. Just just in case."

"You sure"

"Chris its not like you haven't touched them before"

"Well you said you didn't want me touching you again."

I rolled my eyes. Thinking back to the l8 hours of labor where at one point I said i never want you to touch me ever again and then then damn idiot took his hand away the one I was holding onto for dear life, which I then yelled at him to give me his hand back and then he said "You didnt want me to touch you." I still don't know if he was trying to be a smart ass or if he actually thought he was doing what I wanted.

"Just make sure she's OK hold her. "

"Rest my love"he kissed the side of my head.

"I got her I got you both." He held his head just under her pillow and then I fell asleep at that.

Point of View Change

She the had comfort of knowing Chris has her back their daughter's back and head as well and she couldn't ask for more.

"You wouldn't give her her child?

"I was bon- you know she's half min too but me and her were bonding. I was telling her how she needs to let Mommy sleep and how I'd take care of her, she was so silent. I and I want to get skin to skin contact in as much as I can. I'm nervous about letting her out of my sight. It feels like a dream all the love I have for my two girls I just I never thought. I know how I felt when my neices and nephews were born but this this doesn't even compare."

"It never does Sweetheart. You will always love her that much and worry."

"I'm never going to sleep again am I?"

"Probably not. "

"You'll be a good girl for daddy won't you?" The newborn just flexed her hand and Chris took that as a yes.

He relax into the bed.

He fell asleep after a few minutes Chris hand was still holding the little newborn who still feeding. And then when she was done she had moved herself off and then onto her mothers chest as if it was a pillow for sleep, just like her mother said she was like as an infant. The new grandmother took some pictures of the sweet new family sleeping these were the best moment the kindest moments in parent hood. The child was safe and the parents sleep soundly knowing thier child was safe. But she knew this would end soon and they never sleep peacefully again. Knowing parents never stop worring about thier children.

Point of View Change

I woke up and was calm for about half a second before I realized she was in my arms when I feel asleep- I was suddenly in a panic

"Chris chris where is she-"

"I brought her to the nursey she's fine." The ran his hand over my hair a few times and kissed my temple as I I sighed in relief

"God I got terrified thought maybe I dropped her."

"Shh go back to sleep. Hmmm" he caressed my face and gave me a long deep kiss.

"Chris don't start that thats how we got here in the first place." I joke

"Oh and it's getting us here again. Now sleep."

"Only if you do."

"I did."

"Ok only if you sleep more than 10 minutes."

"Even Steven baby you keep waking up she's fine I promise. I'll wake you at the first thing."

"I love you Chris."

"I love you to more then I can say. Rest you need it, you deserve it my love." He said giving me a soft kiss before I fell back asleep.

Check out my other Chris work here:

Thanks to @chrisevansdaughter for her encouragement

Check out

Tag list

@nana1000night @sapphire-rogers @patzammit @hawkeyes-queen @sparklybarbarianninja

[insect-library]

Little Angel ☆

chapter 1

little!Angel and cg!Husk

Notes: first time writing in like,,, 4ever?? Sooo be nice to me. <3 (taking constructive criticism)

Word count: around 800

A small yawn came from Angels room as he woke up. The combination of a headache and dizziness from a night full of drinking had kept him from staying fully awake. After a few times of refusing to wake up, he finally decided to rise from his plush bed to feed his pig, and get some food for the morning.

Angel had been in a loop all week. Hed be pretty great all day, talking to Husk, sometimes others. But when night came hed get sensitive, tired, and more uncomfortable with his usual activities. Hed brush it off as an episode or some side effect of a drug, but now hed actually started worrying about it. It seemed strange that this came after telling Husk about Val, and the comfortable night of talking with him that came after. He noticed that he became generally happier around Husk, talking with his hands more and going on about things he loved. This was very unusual for him and had worried him for the days following.

Angel finally snapped out of his thoughts when he saw exactly who hed been thinking about, Husker.

"Mornin' sleeping beauty" Husk scoffed

"Good morning asshole" Angel said, passing him to exit the hotel, a bit happier than he was previously.

There was that feeling again, hed noticed the need to flap his hands when he passed Husk. He felt happy as if hed won something, but he'd just greeted his friend. It made no sense to him, but he continued on with the day anyways.

After grabbing some food at a small cafe, he started his walk to the hotel. Noticing all the small details of the pride ring. The people, the billboards, all of it was so harsh and overwhelming. It made him feel scared. But why would he feel scared? He had been here for what felt like forever, why now had it started overwhelming him? He didnt know the answer to anything, but he knew he needed to get to the hotel and into his room as soon as he could.

Angel ran through the door with his food, and ran right past everyone downstairs without greeting anybody. The second he got to his room he slammed the door and jumped into bed, hugging his stuffed animals and hiding in blankets. After a short minute, he heard a knock and a voice at the door.

"Angel? Are you okay? What happened?"

It was Charlie. Who, dont get him wrong angel loves her to death, but she wasnt going to be any help.

"MMmn!"

It wasnt anything anyone could point out as a word, but the noise made it clear he didnt want her there. He heard her walk off. But heard more footsteps and eventually another knock at his door.

"Angel? What happened? Whyre you whinin' at Charlie?"

It was Husk, and Angel was even more embarrassed than with Charlie. Husk had been so nice and Angel felt guilt having him see him acting like a child, thought he couldnt exactly control it.

"I think i know whats going on, if youll let me in i could help ya" Husk spoke very softly, not letting anyone but Angel hear him.

Angel considered it, and decided that having Husk around while hes like this is better than being alone. He walked hunched over to the door and opened it, dragging Husk into the small room.

"Whats goin on'?!" Angel mumbled

"You told me about Val right? And how you had been more upset lately?"

"Uhnhuh.. why does that matter?" Angel was getting a little impatient.

"Well i was interested in what you talked about. I had looked at a few things and all your little 'quirks' and that shit sounds a bit like something i found" Husk answered

Angel was listening very intently, but slowly understanding a bit less of the bigger thoughts and only gathering a small amount of information from husk.

"Its called uhrm.. age.. regression?" Husk sounded it out, making sure to get the term right

"Its a way your brain uh.. keeps you sane basically."

Angel had heard about regression, but always took it as a voluntary thing. He never took it as something hed be helped by, especially not without knowing.

"Woah" Angel whispered

He was noticing things that lined up with what Husk said, and had started genuinely thinking about the term and how it applies to him.

Husk stayed the rest of the afternoon to look after Angel, and explain some more about agere to him. They had talked and played and sat around until pretty late, and Husk decided to go to bed.

"Okay, goodnight Angel. Im glad you learned some stuff today. Sleep well"

Angel smiled at Husk, waved goodnight, and went to bed happy, something he wasn't exactly familiar with.

[stolaz-the-artist]

Switched Career AU

I’m aware the name sounds like a sims expansion pack I’ll fix it later

AU info below!

So i got this idea when i was thinking about how younger me misunderstood Alice in the first episode.

I thought that when she said “country boy” she meant he was a cowboy. And i thought this for like a whole year.

And then i thought “What if he was a cowboy?” But thats too easy and boring + They already kinda did that in s4. Not really but close enough (i have enough memes of Cowboy Clay locked an loaded anyway so i think I’ll survive) So i continued thinking and remembered from the Knights code how Clay said a certain sword was easy enough a child could make it. And i just started assuming he must have some knowledge in weapon making. Cuz why not? and also! I didnt neglect the other knights for this project! THATS A FIRST!

I gave them minor redesigns, nothing too mayor but still something. (also all of this is pre-knights academy. So they’re like 15 or sum)

Yet again, just playing with the idea that he works as a blacksmith, providing for him an his brother.

I somehow thought out more for Aaron than Clay??? Big things are happening in Detroit ngl

I have a skit planned with Ruina involved, but more on that later

And for Merlok: guess he just never found him. Or he died. Idk I’ll figure something out later.

Oh and since Merlok couldn’t find him he just kinda grew into his powers, and so did Fletch. They dont know much tho about it and just use it as some sort of minor day to day tool. But they haven’t trained it so its just still kinda uncontrollable at times, remaining heavily linked to emotions. (All of this still in very early development dont come for me)

I have no clue what Aaron’s dad works as but i just made him a fisherman.

Aaron still craves danger, but the danger of fishing (cuz that shit can be real fucking dangerous let me tell ya that-)

He’s still too younge tho, but he can’t stop talking about it, and how much he wish he could join his dad on his boat (He has snuck on on several occasions but turns out hiding under deck during a storm isn’t a good idea. The only reason he stopped was cuz he’d miss out on the fun part regardless) Him and Clay are friends, meeting every now and again when Clay and Fletch come and buy fish from his family.

He’s been very excited about taking over the restaurant, already having a plethora of dishes he wants to make (and eat ofc).

He’s friends with Aaron, given they also buy fish from his family. He’s not very familiar with Clay tho. They’ve been at the fish market at the same time once or twice but barely talked. But they still see each other as friends, just not very close

Macy is still, Macy ig? I’m not sure what to do with her. So i just made King Halbert more chill. She takes several combat classes and planning on becoming a fighting queen if anything.

Her and her family are going on a trip through out the kingdom with the Richmonds. On her end its more of a meet and greet thing, but it’s different for Lance.

OG Lance must be quite jealous. He was sent into the acting industry at a very young age. He thrives in it, taking role after role back to back.

However this next one requieres some sort of reference with the commoners. He joins Macy’s family (Bringing his agent and Dennis with him obv.) as they travel through the country sides of the kingdom. He honestly can’t wait to go home and take a dip in the gold pool.

Idk why this thing kinda makes me sad but oh well, it’s the truth after all.

I am planning on writing this. Like fanfic wise.

But whenever that’ll be out is a mystery.

I haven’t written a fanfic since my wattpad days and AO3 still lowkey scares me.

Also other than Fletch so am i not sure what to do with Ava, Robin or Izzy. So if ya have any ideas, please share, i have no clue.

[amaryllisblackthorn]

spoilers for professor layton and the last specter

one day i'll finally write that ~analysis about how layton treats children esp in pl4 and esp in comparison to emmy that's been in my head for literal y e a r s at this point

i'm going to actually leave some of my scattered thoughts abt it here finally. note that this is all based on the US localization.

for lack of better words, layton treats children with respect and seriously. like of course he's mindful that they're children but he takes what they say and feel with seriousness. vs emmy who's often patronizing, demeaning, or impatient (for lack of better words).

this is prob most apparent with Luke in pl4, though not limited to him.

when first told about the door puzzle, emmy goes 'aw thats so cute let's do it'. like indulging a little kid. which luke is, but i digress. EDIT: briefly checked out the jpn text in the scene and it doesn't seem like Emmy calls it cute, and her tone isn't doing it either. seems like she's just like, 'Professor, let's do it!' which is interestinf

there's a point where Luke is freaking out about the specter and the power it has and how it's corrupted his father. emmy's like 'you cant seriously believe theres actually a specter!' but Layton says to Luke 'I believe the specter has the power you say it has'. Layton doesnt believe there's an actual monster re: the specter, but he believes there is something re: the specter, and that's the important thing. and Layton furthermore immediately goes on to say he's noticed something's up with Clark, himself. Layton is listening to Luke and taking his feelings and fears seriously and is validating him -- and this is so incredibly significant bc of Luke's whole feeling like he's unable to trust anyone during the game which is incredibly related to this but a bit separate so im trying not to digress. THE POINT. is. the difference between Layton and Emmy in this regard.

i dont remember if it's the same part -- i think it might be later but maybe not -- i think it's when Luke reveals how he can tell where the specter will appear next? -- but basically Emmy's kind of upset for lack of a better word that Luke had been withholding that info and is like 'are you hiding anything else, like what the specter has for breakfast?!' or something iirc. luke mind of apologetically defends himself with 'i didnt know if i could trust you' and Layton is totally understanding

EDIT: (i removed an example bc upon further reflection it wasnt necessarily relevant. i might readd it later)

then there's the part with Jakes' son near the end iirc

also the small part nearer the beginning iirc when Luke goes chasing after the cat and Emmy&Layton are chasing after him and Emmy complains to the professor 'he's acting like a child!' and layton's like 'heh well he is a child c; '

there's also how Layton treats/interacts with the Ravens

also when first meeting Luke and Luke's opening up slightly but then Clark comes in and starts scolding him which has Luke withdraw/angry/turn away and Layton's like, "Clark, please"

there's also the cutscene when they first see the specter, where before it appears. Layton asks Luke, 'well, luke, what do you think? do you see anything?', he says no nothing, and Emmy's like 'I still have a hard time believing this. it sounds like a scary bedtime story. is this even possible?'. Layton says, 'Well, we'll soon find out.' and then Emmy goes on to say 'and a poor boy who predicts where the giant specter will appear' and Luke's unhappy about her comment

ALSO when Layton tries to go after the Specter that scene and Luke grabs onto him and tells him not to go, Layton takes the time to talk to him. same for when Luke's freaking out when the police took Arianna away. Layton puts a hand on his shoulder, gets to his level, and talks to him seriously.

this isn't bashing on Emmy btw I actually enjoy this as part of her character and it makes sense to me the difference between her and Layton in this regard. im also not saying that shes like always like this with kids either. or that it's even kid specific. I genuinely think it's neat. I also think it's a super neat part of Layton's character.

also ive really got to either play through pl4 again myself or watch a playthrough to record all the specific instances again.

also Layton taking Luke's feelings and fears seriously and Luke coming to trust Layton at this time of his life means the world to me

[nerves-nebula]

heyo, uh sorry for the super long message, and sorry this question is a little strange or somethin, you dont have to answer it, but youre like the only person i have seen on the internet comfortably talk about csa, and i wanted to just kinda say ive been debating including csa in one of my characters backstories but im nervous i will misrepresent it or something (i have experience with being sexually harrassed/coerced when i was a teenager but it wasnt drastic and i am not a victim of csa) and i guess i wanted advice. i don't want it to seem like its for cheap shock value, i do want to make it thematically relevant. the character, who i will call S for conveniance, was raised in isolation by their mother for their entire childhood and was abused and neglected, and S was raised to be "bait" for people to lure them in so their mother could eat them (uh. yeah cannibalism is here too. their backstory is already fucked up without the csa) i have a basic idea for how the csa starts, how it incorporates itself into the story and how S is affected by it, but i dont know, im nervous about including any of this because again, its a serious topic, and i want to portray it in a way that doesnt feel like its there just to make the reader disgusted. so if you have any pointers for me i'd appreciate that. again no big deal if you dont answer this

well it sounds like you've already made it thematically relevant with the whole "raised to be bait" thing so good job. I can absolutely see myself reading a story like that and thinking "this would be improved with csa but the author probably didnt wanna go there" cuz I can't imagine a situation in which a child is created for and frequently put in that kind of danger for the parents benefit that wouldn't somehow cross over into CSA or at least emotionally incestuous behavior.

it makes sense to be nervous when writing about it but without exact examples i can't really tell you if i think you're off base on anything. im not sure if any of the general pointers i COULD give would be very helpful on account of i'm not the end all be all of csa representation haha. my situation wasn't even that bad, i'm just inordinately fixated on it for some reason.

some people will tell you that under no circumstances should you write a graphic csa scene. this comes from an understandable place where in the past a lot of csa in media has been very uhhhh exploitative i guess? just for shock value, like you said here? which can be alienating and hurtful and rely on unrealistic tropes and spread misinformation and a lot of bad stuff. but i personally like when things get a bit graphic, its why i liked The Incest Diary so much. it really depends on the tone of the story and you're just gonna have to accept that you're not gonna please everyone.

as for less/non-graphic csa portrayals theres this article by this author Rene Denfeld which i really like and respect. i've read her books The Child Finder and The Butterfly Girl and i think they're both good examples of portraying explicitly that a child was raped, focusing on the childs inner world, and what its like to live with and cope with that trauma afterwards, all without anything very explicit.

as a side note, i don't think that "Trying to make the reader disgusted" is a bad reason to include it. i dont think you need a higher justification to write about csa other than "I Wanted To." that doesnt mean i always enjoy or agree with how ppl write about it but trying to evoke disgust isnt inherently bad because it is disgusting. I often evoke disgust with my art even when I don't mean to just because people are more sensitive to it than I am.

but being overly cautious about writing about csa, to the point that you don't even include it, means that most of the ppl writing about it will either be dickheads who don't care at all about being sensitive and victims of csa themselves and when those are the two main categories things get iffy and stressful and the survivors voices often get drowned out. im not gonna go into why cuz that'll take foreverrrrr. but my point is that I don't believe CSA is worse than like, death, or grief or murder or something. you can write about it if you wanna you dont need an excuse.

[ot3]

omg thank you for being the first normal person I've seen so far about AI who's also an artist T-T like obviously all the stealing is horrible and it's good it's talked about but almost everyone really is acting like the idea of computers being capable of creating images killed their firstborn child

(also I don't mean it as one of the weird AI art bros but as an artist myself I'm just glad that there are other artist with open mind to the concept)

no right like its insane to me to see how many other people who seem reasonable and level headed are falling for the kneejerk response to say ai Isn't Art Can't Be Art ! It's throwing out the baby with the bathwater to an almost incomprehensible degree.

Unfortunately the fact of the matter is that we live in an era where essentially all new technology's first and prime purpose will be for ghoulish, capitalistic, anti-human ends. But to reject any other uses for the technology doesn't do anything other than make you look like an anti-tech weirdo. This is genuinely insanely impressive and revolutionary tech! There are a TON of legitimate artistic uses for AI image generation.

It also seems weird that everyone is delving into this false binary of 'dont use AI, learn to draw' as if there is any conceivable reason for these things to be mutually exclusive? Like, before all of the AI discourse really popped off i was doing some experimenting with using AI in my process.

the texturing used in this drawing was made by VQGAN + Clip (different type of image generation than the stable diffusion model that is producing most of the AI art that's up for debate right now) running through google colab. I made a bunch of these weird, ethereal images that would have been almost impossible for me to produce under my own power - it would have taken a titanic amount of time, effort, and design to produce any of these through illustrative or photo editing techniques.

here's a sampling of some of the textures i made. Now I think it would be a real struggle to try and claim that these images made are plagiarisms. However, I stopped messing with the google colab generation for one key reason: i didnt know enough about the image databases being used to train these models. That's the real stumbling block

the internet is CHOCK FULL of images that are free to use commercially and repurposes, there's stuff like wikimedia commons, the smithsonian open access, unsplash and pexels which have free stock photos, etc. I honestly think a nonzero amount of artists would consent to having some of their work used in image generation databases if they were promised noncommercial use of the resulting images, also. But the problem is the people training these AI don't give a shit about any of that. It's just the complete entitlement to other people's work and neglect for creative boundaries that makes AI generation bad.

The fact that people are attempting to replicate the art of living, working artists, or people like kentaro miura who by all accounts were so dedicated to the craft that they worked themselves to death sickens me. And the fact that the companies responsible for this are using that as an active selling point for their product is even worse. It's a pretty miserable time to be an artist, and this is just the icing on the cake.

But I don't want silicon valley greed and bizarre, impotent jealousy from redditors who want custom waifu jpgs to mean that nobody who could really benefit from AI image generation gets to use it.

like, my dad for example. he's been a creative person his whole life but it never really went anywhere. He drew a lot as a kid and then went and got a degree in filmmaking. My parents were living in LA when I was born, with my dad managing a filming/sound studio and the two of them trying to break into writing screenplays. This did not happen because they had three kids, and for the past decade and then some my dad had been doing database programming on contract for the CDC. Now, in his mid 50s, he's finally got a permanent and secure position and, rather than spending all his free time raising children or getting PMP certified to try and angle for a string of promotions, he can start having hobbies again. there's a comic he's been wanting to draw for as long as I can remember.

only, one big problem - in 2021 he had surgery on his cataracts and never healed properly. He's got severely impaired vision and looking at stuff too hard for to long causes him a ton of eye strain and pain. He has to look at a lot of screens for his job so by the time he's off work for the day he's pretty much too fatigued to do all the intense visual stuff it'd take to make a comic.

I wanted to tell him AI image generation could help him make the kind of stuff he always dreamed about making as a kid but instead I had to tell him that as it stands, the predatory nature of AI modeling means it's insanely hard to use it without ripping off vulnerable creatives. Instead we chatted a bit about combining 3d assets, digitally edited photos, or photobashing/digital kitbashing methods to try and make a pipeline he could do without drawing, but the time commitment to learn these methods is probably just not feasible unless his eyes make a pretty unprecedented recovery in future years.

Like, that's the worst thing about all of this. The idea that AI makes the production of certain kinds of art more accessible to people with disabilities isn't just a 'gotcha' being used by the pro-AI people, it's also true. I would love for my dad to be able to make his comic. I myself also have a huge string of health issues and sometimes the main thing stopping me from drawing is that it hurts to do so. Anything in my process that could reduce the strain drawing puts on my body is an accessibility concern in some ways. Eventually degrading so much that I can't draw at all is one of my biggest fears.

But that doesn't counter all of the negatives! It just doesnt! Which fucking sucks man it just sucks so fucking bad that we have this cool incredible thing and we can't use it without being complicit in some stuff i am fully ideologically against! As things stand I really cant imagine that 'ethical' AI image generation will ever exist, so unfortunately it will have to be in the hands of the people using it to decide for themselves if they are using it in a way that is predatory or harmful, or as a legitimate tool to make meaningful works of art.

[pro-crastinate17]

hello this will be a reaction to black friday starkid because i like to talk about the things i like

(it ended up only being act 1 bc it got super long lol)

ths is only my third time watching it and the first time was like. 2 years ago (the second time was only a few months ago but i didnt absorb enough or write this so here we go again)

will be VERY long btw

in the jingle when angelas sniggle says "we're the sniggles! don't be scared!" she winks when she says dont be scared. this is. foreshadowing :thumbsup:

never getting over "hes deep down in drowsy town, sleepng the dreamless sleep of the dead!"

also JAMES TOLBERT!!!!! his VOICE im so <3 [heart]

also oh my god im reading WAY too far into this but. "hes riding santas sleigh cause hes friends with all the elves" wigglys main allies are uncle wiley and linda monroe, who are played by joey and lauren, who both play elves in santa claus is going to high school!!!

OUGH i love the announcer whose voice is that?? it is reminiscent of big bill hells lol

"i wanted a salad, but now i have a child" never gets old lol. also the exposition in this scene is FLAWLESS mwah

THE LA DI DA DA DAY MOTIF IN THE BACKGROUND LMAO (it is definitely NOT a la di da da day)

"i do not get flashbacks!!! ...i remember bad things vividly." TOM IS SO ME CODED LOL

emma doing paul's "okay" thing gives me LIFE

DYLAN SAUNDERS APPRECIATION MOMENT i love tom houston so much i love dylan saunders oh my goodness gracious literally flawless acting !!! and his VOICE i cant even (also him holding up his hands like the steering wheel is such good foreshadowing for him having been the one driving!!)

tom is COMPLETELY unable to read sarcasm. tom houston autism confirmed. (/silly)

OK OK I KNOW that "bud" is a common way to refer to weed. however. lex smoking weed in hatchetfield and says "bud" specifically?? PERKYS BUDS REFERENCE!

the "to nordstrom? ah shiiit!" he sounds so canadian?? i cant be the only one hearing this lol what was that

COREY DORRIS APPRECIATION MOMENT!!!!! HIS VOICE HIS ACTING HES SOOOO <3 [heart] also the frank and uncle wiley interaction is SO FUNNY !!! and the condescension paired with calling lex "alexandra" is a rlly good way to make it obvious how icky frank is i love it

"honest?" "cross my heart, hope to die" BUT HE WAS LYING AND THEN HE DIES. I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE STARKID

am i the only one whos curious about the gerald cinnabon story lmao. what did he DO that was so bad that gary goldstein attorney at law couldnt save him from the consequences?

"thats called a BRIBE and its ILLEGAL!!!" *skeptical look* "...or it SHOULD be." IM GIGGLING

im osrry the "my CHILDREN were accidents" line KILLS ME lmao. esp bc she literally IS making it everyone elses problem (by demanding 4 wigglys)!!

ik this fandom talks a lot about "stop crying gerald i wasnt talking to you" but i dont think we pay enough attention to lindas stanley monologue. like holy shit.

ALSO TOM TAKES THE SPOT BEHIND BECKY IN LINE AND DOESNT PAY ANYONE and no one even notces bc theyre all too busy gossiping lmao also what do you say is SUCH a good song aaaa!!! (why is the homeless man so invested on

"tHe YeArS hAvE pAsSeD"

FRANK MY BELOVED I LOOOVE OUR DOORS ARE OPEN

unrelated but i just noticed curt (the farmer who has peanuts the hatchetfield pocket squirrel during what if tomorrow comes) does not currently have peanuts the hatchetfield pocket squirrel! how does he come to be in possession of peanuts? was peanuts also drawn to wiggly (since he is canonically a sentient being?) what is really going on here? maybe this was the real conspiracy all along /silly

JEFF BLIM WIGGLY HANDS (also distinctly resembles the wiggly hands jon does as wiggly in npmd!!)

also feast or famine is an INCREDIBLE song like actually AAAAAA !!! chaos reigns!!!

is ethan wearing a kilt? or a skirt?? also him saying "more bad" instead of worse GIGGLE

tom scaring gary off just by looking scary is PEAK comedy i take no criticism

"aHhH yUmMy!!!!!"

"I HAVE A HAIR APPOINTMENT TODAAAAAAAAAY"

the resurgence of hello naughty list?? does sthat mean uncle wiley originally wanted lex to be the prophet. DOES THAT MEAN UNCLE WILEY ORIGINALLY WANTED LEX TO BE THE PROPHET.

i cant stop saying "i have pepper spray and i use it more than you can possibly imagine", also "ohh i dont know if you wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna FUCK with me miss monroe" ITS SO SILLY

when he sings the little "why should you give when you can get" BE STILL MY HEART (i have gender envy for joey richter)

"all you gotta do is just do what you do best-" "SHOP." "-be a mother." "...right." I LOVE THEIR DYNAMIC.

"yEs I fUcKiNg SeE hIm"

i never noticed bob is a parody of obama lmao ALSO HIM COMFORTING WIGGLY AFTER HOWIE CALLS HIM A FUCKING WEIRD LITTLE MONSTER LMAO

"iLL bItE yOuR nIpPLe OfF"

the way the wiggly is damaged is NOT what wouldve happened from being shot. but thats ok bc its my babygirl general john macnamara <3 [heart]

MONSTERS AND MEN IS SO GOOD. I LOVE JEFFS VOICE SM JEFF BLIM APPRECATION MOMENT !!!!! also he looks Rigjt at the camera when he says "its nothing on your phone" GIGGLE

[scibot9000]

top albums of 2023 for me. i dont have spotify so i gotta do this manually.

rankings approximate except the top one. links and thoughts under the cut

greenhouse - arc,regn

ok this may sound silly but: in the 90s, necros (among others) were making some rad tracker music with a very very specific synth sound and overall vibe that i simply have not heard since. this hits that for me.

"露華" necros md tracker idm revived. "spur" feels like it's that tracker sound, removed from tracker limits.

"føn", my second fav track, feels far more Halley Labs, but still carries a hint of that turn-of-the-century tracker spirit.

the opening track, "eko", is SO choice though. fav.

---

DJ Shadow - Action Adventure

kind of fascinated with this! it’s extremely 80s but not always. “You Played Me” is just an 80s hit. i keep coming back to it lol (idk “when” you’d place “Free For All” but its also a fav) how is “Fleeting Youth” so beautiful

im really excited to see DJ Shadow enter the 90s in 2035 or w/e

---

PROGedia - Diõscuri

prog hip hop? 6????

yeah that opening track grabbed me and did not let go. holy hell what a banger.

the aoty status is mostly carried on that, but like. it left an impression damnit.

feels like brainfeeder.

---

Liminal Warp - Nocturnal Edge 3

downside: anime VO, mixed kinda loud too...

upside: INTENSE.

I've had "Reina" on loop for ages. easy fav, but the rest of the tunes Don't Slack. still deeply fascinated by "yag si urowak". it's like breakcore 2 or smth.

---

Skrillex - Quest for Fire

I was really scared when i saw the number of features here but uhh... nope this went hard.

and also i didnt notice at first but one of those features is Joker. like... purple music Joker. and it's the best damn track on the thing.

"Xena" second favorite. insane drum production there.

---

Oneohtrix Point Never - Again

This covers the mind-exploding fringes of sampledelica but fresher. Or, actually... maybe that's too reductive.

I remember chimeratio hyping up "Locrian Midwest" specifically, and... yeah I can tell why. That's very him-flavored. The timbral selection is top notch. That last sentence applies to every other moment in every other track, though.

"Plastic Antique" would have murdered me in 2013.

---

Patricia Taxxon - TECHDOG 1-7

Of course this would grab me.

I would've just thought it was a delightful romp if it stopped at TECHDOG 1, but damn did it keep going.

"TETCTEHECDCHOHDGDOGOG" was an instant fav, but as time goes on, I keep finding new favorites. I think the build from birds to walls in "OCOTOCODCTCETDTHDEDGEHEGHGHG" is my fav as of writing.

That said, something that struck me imemdiately, got the most replays from me this year, from TECHDOG7: "THTCTHTOTHTCTHDHCHOHCECOCDCOGODOEODGDEDGDEGEGEGEG"

Never has a song so viscerally teleported me to a specific scenario: being a child, alone in a room without knowing why. I can feel the dust in the air. Insanely good.

---

Blawan - Dismantled Into Juice

Man.

This one hit my DNA.

The title track, "Dismantled Into Juice" not only is my fav here but it's influenced how i think abt music.

AOTY. ...EPOTY?

[spikeinthepunch]

if you thought that was the last post i would write today about Lisa, you are a fool. i wrote that last one at 2am so i have energy for another one, bc i had *more* thoughts even after that

TW for sexual abuse/rape/assault (i am going into more detail so please take that TW seriously)

Do victims talk? & how all the men mean something.

This is stupid long, sorry lol. i threw two topics into one.

okay so i had these thoughts on my mind prior and again i havent played Joyful (a few minutes of the start only)-- but with just the context of Painful this still sits on my mind.

Do victims talk? I want to answer this for myself.

Lisa (the character) was sexually abused and The First was pretty much an inner look at her mind. This reflects through most of Painful whenever it comes up, even if they aren't straightforward about it. That was the main thing, was not being clear when i played Painful, I didn't know what I was getting into. but with enough information it wasn't hard to side with Brad whether it was because of the abuse or the suicide-- and the fact that Buddy had been kidnapped in a world of men, who needed her in order to bring the world back. From the start, I felt like I knew what was coming in that regard...

But Buddy's important to the world was clear.... Obviously important. But Buddy is a child and so when Brad has a realization/assumption over what will happen the player can side with him. When i played i was immediately like, oh god, oh jesus. Of course I wanted Brad to save her... what I saw in their life of Brad keeping her inside didn't seem wrong, not exactly.

But there was a change of mindset towards the end of the game. Thats where that good intent falters. And you look back and question things... you kind of realize why Buddy acted how she did, and how she has been able to defend herself.

But the biggest notice to me is the lack of Buddy talking about anything the men implied they did to her. When you explore you hear them say vulgar things, then you get the to the Hairspray guys (whatever theyre called) and you hear what they're saying about having her in a back room for men to take turns on her and thats the first "oh god" moment. You of course find a man in her place, but still implied that she was in fact here and escaped. So, the implication still remains... You haven't seen Buddy at this point so you dont know what she'd say.

But when you do-- that is when she brings up Sticky. And yet again, the implications make it sound like Sticky raped her to 'teach' her about sex. But buddy seems to describe it vaguely after Brad gets mad about it. To continue this furthers and more quickly-- other instances of abuse/violence/assault on Buddy that are show or mentioned are Buzzo cutting off her nipple (shown), the mutilation of her face (shown), and at the start of Joyful the comment that one of Rando's 'friends' tried to touch/assault/rape her when she was tied up (off screen). That last one, Buddy again brushes off and doesnt say much.

So what do i say this all for. Well, the question is "how much of this actually happened to buddy?" We saw some on screen violence. But rape, assault, molestation? She doesnt say it exactly... but I think any survivors or those familiar would know full well that that doesnt mean it didnt happen. I think its completely wrong to assume nothing could have happened. lets break down the things that occurred from Buddy's end/how she acts, and some other details

Brad has already closed her off and isolated her. she doesnt know like, anything. she probably doesnt understand at all what sex would be and what would be bad (much like many csa victiums!)-- especially if Sticky did it, someone she trusts.

She shuts down when she starts to tells Brad, not exactly because she doesnt want to tell him- rather because he starts to get mad. Buddy knows that is a scary reaction from the past and probably ties that all into the anger Brad had towards her wanting to learn and explore (something she felt Sticky did)

overall, Buddy wants to use this opportunity to explore and see and learn and most of all, not be with Brad. she doesnt want to talk to him or share with him anything because she knows what hes like.

and ultimately... victims often dont tell people. maybe they dont know how. maybe they dont realize its abuse (again, common for children who dont know a lot). and for buddy too, she doesnt trust the one person who wants to make sure she is safe from all of it.

to go on the statements Buddy and others make regarding these events- i think it would be odd for all of those men to be lying. especially sudden moments like the start of Joyful (especially when the guys said they killed the other for what he tried to do). The Sticky instance was stated by Buddy in a vague way herself which is reliable. there was enough shown violence, attraction, and ability to contain her for moments that it just doesnt seem right to think theyd be lying too, like the Hair guys.

In the end you have two important things to think about: Buddy does not trust Brad anymore. She won't tell him anything. And the men like bragging. They loved talking about her. With the evidence we had about when she had been capture her, this doesnt look like lying from them- they were proud to have potentially having her for good.

In this story the men mean a LOT. they imply so much. and after the secret boss fight? I realized they mean so much more.

How all the men mean something.

The secret fight with Marty showed how deeply ingrain he is in Brad's mind. I expressed a LOT more about that in this post from last night. But the main thing to gather for this topic is how a lot of that mindset is defended by Marty as "this is how men should be".

Masculinity. Power. Control. Dominance. He expected the same from Brad and failing to do so meant he was weak, unworthy, pathetic, unmanly... While Brad escaped and desperately didn't want to be like him, he did what Marty did to Dusty and he abused drugs, etc. For Brad, he cannot shake the guilt that he will be the abuser his father was.

What does this have to do with the world of Olathe being full of men? Oh it has so much to do with the story. The implications... Olathe is full of men. They have formed groups who fight each other and are quite horribly violent at times. Masculinity is undeniably at its peak, and directs much of their culture....

You see how masculinity plays a huge role? No not every man alive here is horrible and abusive. But the point is that masculinity drives them, and more often than not its an "excuse" to living the way they do. Be tough, hold your ground, don't let anyone make you weaker than them. If you're weak and you can't stand up, you will face consequences for it. Toughen up.

The sense of power and dominance these men have in this world became WAY more obvious when Buddy comes up. They are scrambling to find her and their dynamics become incredibly violent and push these aspects of masculinity to the worst of it. Marty's mindset is the worst of the twisted idea of how to assert authority, and how to treat someone weaker than you. You can do as you want. You can beat them or rape them. The culture that Olathe created for these men made them fall into this warped mindset much like the one Marty promoted. These guys knew Buddy was a weak little child. They wanted to use her and do as they pleased. They could they could because they were bigger, powerful, etc.

Their words and wishes are basically as disgusting as the things Marty would say. I think thats enough to solidify that connection.

Lisa has an incredibly interesting narrative on how a Victim is viewed from the outside. How abuse effects further abuse- the distrust of child to guardian in telling them when something bad has happened and the inability to save them due to it. And from the inside, how masculinity through trauma can warp your mind. How the influence of a man towards man, feeds into a cycle of abuse and the world where that masculine culture is ingrained in everyone no matter how deeply they act on it.

cycles. "you cant escape". everything things about it seems utterly hopeless but the game still pushes you towards something-- it makes you want to crawl towards the light that Brad struggles to reach. but this was never an easy process. your action created consequences you never wanted to happen in the first place. your intentions were selfish- you didnt learn, you didnt understand how actually fix this. it was a desperate attempt.

but by god you want to change it so bad. isnt that something? internally you gotta keep holding on to it. jesus christ, dont let go, or itll be all for nothing. you are not fated to be your abuser. you are not fated to never escape. you have to remember that. you must face all of this but you have to fucking rip apart the guilt and the anger and the sadness to get there first. maybe this wasnt the way to do it. but please dont give up, okay? thats what its all about.

[calpalsworld]

tagged by @k00ldino thank you :D

Appearance:

i’m over 5’5” // i wear glasses/contacts // i have blonde hair // i prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // i have one or more piercings // i have at least one tattoo // i have blue eyes // i have dyed or highlighted my hair // i have gotten plastic surgery // i have or had braces // i sunburn easily // i have freckles // i paint my nails // i typically wear make-up // i don’t often smile // i am pleased with how i look // i prefer nike to adidas // i wear baseball hats backwards

Hobbies and talents:

i play a sport // i can play an instrument // i am artistic // i know more than one language // i have won a trophy in some sort of competition // i can cook or bake without a recipe // i know how to swim // i enjoy writing // i can do origami // i prefer movies to tv shows // i can execute a perfect somersault // i enjoy singing // i could survive in the wild on my own // i have read a new book series this year // i enjoy spending time with friends // i travel during school or work breaks // i can do a handstand

Relationship:

i am in a relationship // i have been single for over a year // i have a crush // i have a best friend i have known for ten years // my parents are together // i have dated my best friend // i am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // i have a long distance relationship // i am an only child // i give advice to my friends // i have made an online friend // i met up with someone i have met online

Aesthetics:

i have heard the ocean in a conch shell // i have watched the sun rise // i enjoy rainy days // i have slept under the stars // i meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // i enjoy the smell of the beach // i know what snow tastes like // i listen to music to fall asleep // i enjoy thunderstorms // i enjoy cloud watching // i have attended a bonfire // i pay close attention to colours // i find mystery in the ocean // i enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favourite season

Miscellaneous:

i can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // i am the mom friend // i live by a certain quote // i like the smell of sharpies // i am involved in extracurricular activities // i enjoy mexican food // i can drive a stick-shift // i believe in true love // i make up scenarios to fall asleep // i sing in the shower // i wish i lived in a video game // i have a canopy above my bed // i am multiracial // i am a redhead // i own at least three dogs

i never tag other people but i think i will be brave and tag others this time....

@peterturbo (you wont do it you wont play fun game with me i bet you coward)

@diisdoodles

@truebobbian

@epichnopterix

@bingobongobonko

@spw-art

@elericelery

@the-dead-thing

@littlemonigote

@april-kingrose (YOU WONT DO IT I BET >:))

im so bad at tagging ppl i just scrolled through my notifs and went "omg they are a cool mutual" if i didnt tag you that doesnt mean i dont like you btw. i love everyone :)