#i just dont know how

[fuck-i-like-too-much-stuff]

I was casually thinking about who would Matt be closest to amongst the group (after Toey and Mick obviously), and now there is a seed planted in my head that It Has To Be Chain, while i have no clue where this comes from.

[soultiio]

day 1: denial

[dynamimight]

been on my grind i am becoming an academic weapon my brain gets 10 times bigger every day

[knizuu]

holy d[f]ang that dream was weird :0

OK OK so um I’m a guy-broken…sad..?not sad??? Idk tired guy?? And I was preparing to preform Uptown Girl for a…country…show yea I don’t know why either-oh yea I was preforming with bff for some reason

But the “very cool” band that tried DIDNT PLAY THE LIL VOCAL RIFF SO I GOT REALLY MAD ?? AND I YELLED AT THEM?? Cough so I looked for another band XP

But I also had this romance…wiht some cafe lady because idk I had some deal with the devil or something…anyway it ended off like “yay my life’s sm better” <- how does that even CONNECT to the uptown girl thing XD and my love interest didn’t really have a human form atm so she has that now because deal with the devil was broken or something idk AND THEN MY LOVE INTEREST WAS SECRETLY A BRATZ DOLL OR SOMETHING IDK WHY *sob emoji*

Cough anyway

[firstofficerrose]

Professor Hix of the Necromancy department is a morbidly funny guy. The discussion on how best to prepare an (ethically sourced) human head for use as a football is... fascinating. Not nice. But fascinating.

[hauntingrabbits]

comic

[yeepof]

Local PHD student at wizard school HARRASSED!! FOR SHAME!!

[hollis-art]

ngl im not even a superman fan. i just REALLY like clark kent,,, (thank you, Smallville, for that.)

[fuckmylifebrosku]

you know when yiure like jot even upset but you are so youre hapy but you want to cry

[cyancees]

i have neither a good imagination nor aphantasia, but a secret third thing

[fynori]

skeletons have zero right to be that hard to draw

[damianfire21]

.

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[hoshizoralone]

reflection

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

feel free to put location/area in the tags

[mamawasatesttube]

BTW... PSA.... even if we arent mutuals if youre in my notes regularly theres a Very high chance i am still fond of you. yes im vaguing someones tags on the compliment the person u rbed this from post. but like. positive vaguing? THE POINT IS im weird abt following ppl but IM STILL SENDING U FOND VIBES...