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livsoulsecrets · 8 months ago

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Chain/Pun Fic - Hold up, they don’t love you like I love you

Summary:

Following the events of Episode 5, Chain comes to a realization about his feelings for Pun.

“It’s just… He doesn’t seem right for you,” Chain said, his blood roaring in his ears as the words spilled out.

Pun pursed his lips and asked, “And who is?”

Read on AO3.

If there was one thing Chain knew about Pun, it was that he was incredibly easy to trust and even easier to love.

It had always been easy—how they could talk for hours without running out of what to say, the way they slotted together at the end of a long day, Pun’s head falling against his shoulder and his arm laced through Chain’s.

Pun didn’t need a reason to touch him. Since the day they met, he’d hug Chain when he felt the urge to and hold anyone he liked without a care in the world.

It was what pulled Chain towards him in the first place, back when they met at school so many years ago.

So why did it send a shiver down his spine now when he watched Pun loop his arm over Mick’s shoulder and rush into the fair?

What was it that prompted him to follow them so closely and for the pit at the bottom of his stomach to grow wider and wider every time Pun laughed at something Tan’s friend said?

He wanted to scream. He wanted to stomp his feet and whine like a little kid.

He wanted to shout at Mick that he was the only one Pun should smile at, the only one Pun should hug and hold close and run off with.

But that wasn’t the truth, was it?

Pun was his best friend. Had been for as long as he could remember. Not more, not less.

What right did he have to demand his undivided attention?

To hell with reason, his mind urged, despite his every attempt to rationalize his feelings. You don’t need a reason. You just need him.

And that was the truth—had always been the truth.

It became impossible to ignore as they walked side by side after the fair ended. Pun was halfway through one of his characteristic long rumbles about the people he met that night and the plans he had for the week, but Chain couldn’t bring himself to contribute much to the conversation, as deep in his own head as he was.

“Pun,” he croaked out, finally breaking through his haze of confusion.

“Hum?” The other boy hummed, his fingers playing with a flower he picked up on the way, twisting it around his fingers absentmindedly.

“Do you like Mick?” He asked, and Pun staggered completely.

“Of course, I like Mick,” he answered, and Chain felt his heart stop at the ease of Pun’s response. “Don’t you?”

His eyebrows knotted together into the most adorable expression of confusion. Chain blinked, just as lost.

“Hum… What?”

“He’s so nice! And funny. He even helped me win that weird game Beer wanted to play. Tan likes him too.”

Pun’s ability to list off so many redeeming qualities about this guy he met two hours ago didn’t do much to quiet Chain’s nerves, but he finally understood what Pun meant by his initial answer.

“I see. He seems nice,” he lied through his teeth, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans and forcing himself to stare ahead. “I meant, do you like him for real? You know, as more than a friend.”

Pun blinked some more. He opened his mouth a few times, then closed it again. It was usually hard to leave him speechless, but Chain seemed to have managed it, which was enough reason to send him panicking.

“You know what? Forget I asked anything. It’s a dumb question, anyway. Let’s just get home,” he blurted out, desperate to change the course of the awkward conversation.

“I don’t,” Pun replied anyway. “I don’t like him like that, I mean.”

“Oh,” Chain echoed, feeling like all the breath had been snatched from his lungs. Relief flooded through him as he tried not to show how thoroughly glad and confused he felt. “That’s good.”

“Is it?” Pun asked, dropping the flower he had been holding and crossing his arms. “Why?”

Chain gulped for air like a fish pulled out of water for too long. It was not his proudest moment, by far, but the whole night had already left him restless and off-knit.

“It’s just… He doesn’t seem right for you,” Chain said, his blood roaring in his ears as the words spilled out.

Pun pursed his lips and asked, “And who is?”

“Someone who looks after you. Someone who is patient and focused but also fun.”

“That’s a long list,” Pun pondered. “Do you even know anyone who has it all?”

Chain didn’t know what to say to that.

All the mirth was gone from Pun’s face.

He seemed almost angry now, which was as rare a sight as a quiet Tan.

“If you do, tell him to come find me.” Pun smiled, the signature upturn of his lips cutting through the grimace that was there a mere moment ago. It was still strained when he said, “Let’s go. It’s getting late.”

He just resumed walking, leaving Chain straddled in place, completely speechless.

“Are you angry at me?” He asked and regretted it almost immediately.

Pun turned around to face him, his smile dropping from his lips.

“No. Of course not.”

His voice was so tamed and controlled he barely sounded like himself.

“I think you are, and I don’t know why.”

“Don’t you?” Pun pushed back, stepping towards him.

Their conversation felt dangerously close to an argument, which was enough reason to terrify him. The last time they fought, they were ten years old. Chain had refused to share his ice cream with Pun, and the boy started crying, which was also the end of the fight because Chain started crying too and threw the ice cream away to hug his friend.

“Is it because of what I said about Mick? I really didn’t want to meddle. I was just worried about you!”

Belatedly, Chain noticed the twist of Pun’s lips into a thin line and the way his eyes squinted.

“I’m not a child, Chain. You don’t need to take care of me all the time. I know everyone thinks I’m an idiot who can’t take care of himself, but I thought you didn’t!” Pun’s eyes filled with tears, and Chain found himself on the verge of tearing up too.

“That’s not it. I don’t think you’re an idiot. You’re my best friend, Pun-”

“Then, why are you trying to tell me who I should and shouldn’t like? I don’t say anything about the girls you date,” he fired back, “and there are many of them!”

He nearly started listing every time Pun complained about someone he dated, but figured it would be a terrible way to dissipate the tension between them.

Chain winced at the bluntness of Pun’s words. “I don’t know! I just…”

Chain reached for Pun blindly, scared he’d pull away from his touch.

Pun stayed still and allowed Chain to hold on to his arm, relaxing under his fingers.

“I just didn’t like seeing you with him,” Chain confessed.

His mind was a whirlwind of memories and fears, with so many different pieces coming together at once that he was left feeling dizzy.

Pun looked just as dazed, albeit still angry. He shook his head. “I can’t understand you if you don’t tell me what you’re thinking, Chain.”

I don’t understand it either, he almost shouted, but that wasn’t exactly true.

Deep down, he knew. He had to know. He was just terrified of what it meant. Because feeling this way about his best friend was a terrible idea, because Pun was his favorite person in the whole world, and losing him would be like missing a limb.

Because they were both boys and he had made so much effort to push away the idea they could be more than what they were, but no number of dates, pretty girls, or failed relationships had ever done the trick.

In the end, there were just Pun’s eyes, round and wide, as they looked at Chain and saw all the things he hid from everyone else but never from him.

“I’m really confused, Pun,” he started, rocking his body back and forth, his voice dragging out every word. “I think I… I got scared. I thought I’d lose you.”

Pun worried his bottom lip between his teeth for a moment, nervous energy buzzing off his body. Chain followed the movement with his eyes, a deep-seated hunger he had kept tightly under control for years taking over his mind.

“You’ll never lose me, Chain.”

Chain wondered if Pun had understood it—the magnitude of what he was feeling and of what they were on the verge of risking.

“Never?” He echoed, mesmerized. Pun nodded his reassurance, his gaze locked into Chain’s as determination simmered underneath it.

“No matter what happens,” Pun continued, and it was clear now that he was done dancing around the subject. “We’ll always have each other.”

Chain locked his fingers around Pun’s wrist, and he gathered all the courage he could muster to say, “Even if I fuck it up?”

Pun’s other hand trailed up his arm, shaky and unsure, until it landed on his shoulder, squeezing it. “Even then. But I can fuck it up too. You know how I can get-”

Chain pulled Pun towards him and crashed their lips together. He swallowed the next words Pun had been about to say and cradled his face carefully.

Pun’s surprised gasp died against his lips when he grabbed hold of Chain’s waist to pull him impossibly closer, Pun’s open mouth sliding against his with ease.

There was no space for pretending from there on out. Chain couldn’t tell if his hands were shaking out of relief or horror when he thought of that.

Chain kissed Pun harder every time the fear threatened to rise, and eventually there was nothing left but unfiltered joy.

Very slowly, Pun backed away, breathless and gorgeous under the moonlight. His eyes blinked open, and Chain realized Pun’s face was mirroring that same bittersweet mixture of relief and fear he felt right now.

“Are you okay?” Chain asked, and Pun nodded.

“You?” Pun shot back.

“Yeah, I am.”

They both laughed nervously, still holding on to each other despite the awkwardness hanging in the air.

Pun stretched a hand and fixed a hair strand that had been falling against his forehead, as if reaching out for Chain was still his second nature despite it all.

The gesture settled part of the irrational urge to run Chain had been feeling since the reality of what they had done hit him.

Pun still touched and soothed him like nothing had changed, and that might just be all the proof he needed that they would be okay.

“I…” He started and stopped, then started again, “I’m scared, Pun.”

“I’m scared too.”

“You’re not scared of anything,” Chain countered. “That’s why I usually have to worry for the both of us.”

Pun shook his head. “Maybe. But this is different, isn’t it?”

He nodded. “It is.”

“I’ve worried about the day you’d notice my feelings for so long, and now it’s here, and I guess I’m relieved, but also even more worried,” Pun ranted.

“How long?” Chain interrupted, too caught up with that piece of information to even start processing everything Pun was saying.

Pun’s eyes widened as his cheeks colored red, like they were still kids that were caught stealing candy before dinner time.

“I don’t know. Since high school?”

Chain’s eyebrows shot up. “That long?”

“Did you really believe me when I said I didn’t like Mai because she chewed too loudly? I just didn’t like seeing you with her.”

“I thought you were just really serious when it came to manners,” he answered, and Pun laughed, a riveting sound he would recognize anywhere.

“I guess I should have known what I felt for you when I actually broke up with her because you didn’t approve.”

Pun huffed a breath, a blinding smile on his lips. “And what is it that you feel for me?”

Chain staggered, frozen in place, as he tried to pick an answer among the myriad of things Pun represented. His best friend, his partner, the reason why he pushed through some of the worst times of his life and made it to the best.

“I’m in love with you, Pun,” he told him in no uncertain terms.

“I’m in love-” Pun started to answer, but Chain just couldn’t wait to kiss him again.

He had waited long enough. He wouldn’t waste another second.

Also, he already knew what Pun was going to say.

He always did.

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