#i just could also see that obi-wan being like hey we should fuck because i feel like we'll never recover from the choice i made

[tennessoui]

For the ask game, 5, 18, and 30??

(from this ask game)

ahh thank you for sending these in!!

5. first sentence of the fifth paragraph of an unpublished WIP

ok so i have 7 tabs open and all of them are either new chapters or unpublished wips but here is the first sentence of the first tab - and a second sentence for a little bit more context lol:

'Watto has wings, a set that isn’t much to look at but that he’s rather proud of showing off anyway. And because Watto has wings, little Ani cannot, lest he grow up and get ideas.'

(that's wing fic au which i have been meaning to finish and post for forever)

18. If you keep them, share a deleted sentence or paragraph from a published fic

ok so i don't keep my deleted sentences or paragraphs - they are gone with the wind as soon as i don't like them lol BUT i can definitely talk about one of my first draft ideas for a fic that i didn't end up writing which i've definitely talked about before. in foolproof foolhardy, when i started writing what would become the last 2 chapters and the final arc of the story, i was totally sold on the idea that when they're in the ship on the way to their mission they would end up fucking ('to get it out of their system') as a one-time thing and afterwards they can just pretend they don't care about each other at all and the sex would be very angry and bitter except for the moments where they couldn't help but betray their real feelings (aka master skywalker caresses obi-wan's face, obi-wan kisses his pulse, etc etc)

and then during the mission the prince of the planet would be interested in obi-wan in a way that would prove to be Perilous (because obi-wan tries to pretend he can just go back to having fun and sleeping around and so he courts the prince's attention, but it turns out that actually he doesn't want to do that anymore because now he knows how anakin would hold him)

and anakin would do something very dramatic like start a full on war with the planet and or threaten assassination of the prince because hes a jealous lil guy and will use obi-wan's discomfort as cover for his actions without examining the root of the emotions which is in fact love (but twisted)

and then they fuck AGAIN and finally actually talk it all out (but it was already such a long story and that whole mission arc seemed needlessly dramatic when tensions were already high, so they just talked it out the first time they fucked on the ship, which i'm happy with)

30. share a fic you’re especially proud of

ooo interesting question! i definitely feel various amounts of proud of all my fics because of who i was and what i was trying out when i was writing each of them, but i think i'm especially proud of let my love be the knife that implicates me aka the rots compliant fic where obi-wan raises luke on tatooine alone and does as good of a job as he knows how. i just really like the concept of it - where obi-wan deals with his grief by talking about the agony and joy of loving anakin, luke's father, while also still so fresh off of mustafar and the fall of the Jedi, knowing he can only talk about this now because when luke is old enough to remember he shouldn't bear the weight of his secrets....only for luke to remember not the words themselves (about the empire, about sidious, about anakin's betrayal) but the emotion behind them, which was almost always love.

it's a sad fic but it's not so sad that i think it's unreadable and i really am so proud of a lot of the phrases and the pacing of it! mostly because i almost always avoid anything even resembling 'canon compliant' and so this was a really big moment for me lol

[ahsokasupremacy]

Alright, here are my Top Ten funniest guesses (+1 that I bet nobody ELSE will guess) for who Inquisitor Marrok actually is!

You are most welcome to correct me or let me know who YOU think is most probable.

And just to challenge myself, I’m NOT putting Ezra. Because that would be too obvious.

1. Barriss Offee

I’m serious when I say that this is probably the most likely.

We know that she is a very important character in Ahsoka’s life, the writers could be trying to mislead us into thinking that the Force User is a man when really we have no confirmation that they are. Plus Dave Filoni has said in interviews that he refused to have the character make cameos just because he wanted to save her for later. Also, many people already speculated that Barriss became an Inquisitor after Order 66, explaining the double-sided Inquisitor lightsaber.

2. Darth Maul

Their build is a little too skinny for Darth Maul, and also wow, he must really be getting up there. And also, he died in Rebels. But when has that really ever stopped Disney from resurrecting him? I just think they should keep bringing him back. For the bit. I want the opening scroll for the upcoming Daisy Ridley movie to contain the words “Somehow, Darth Maul returned…”

3. Bo Katan

I highly doubt this because her character arc on the Mandalorian is already concluded, but I can kinda see her doing this as like, a side gig. Homegirl is probably broke from paying off Mandalore’s restoration fees. She’s not a Force User unfortunately, but when has that ever stopped her? I like to believe that Bo Katan simply woke up one day and decided to be Force Sensitive and it all kinda worked out for her somehow.

4. Lux Bonteri

If this is the option David Filoni is going with, BOOO. Yet another character who isn’t Force Sensitive. If you really think about it, Dave Filoni probably wants to include someone with an important history with Ahsoka, someone close to her that she held dear and that betrayed her and that she still has lingering feelings for.

Well actually that person is Barriss, and yknow, she kinda went MIA. Sooo the next best thing we could get is Lux, I guess!

5. Anakin (Force Ghost)

Daaaad, what are you doing here?

Well, the ghosts of Obi-Wan and Yoda told him to fuck off and get a job. So here he is. He’s putting in the work! He’s logging onto his Zoom! Ahsoka is gonna be sooo surprised when he finally takes off the mask and reveals it was him along. Just you wait! It’s gonna be so funny!

6. Korkie Kryze

Now we’re really starting to get big brained here.

In Legends, we have Jacen Solo. In the sequels, we have Kylo Ren.

But in the Brand New Republic era? Hark, a new villain arises. Korkie is embittered about being left behind and forgotten by his biological parents, Satine and Obi-Wan. And now he is out for revenge against all the Force Users and Mandalorians who abandoned him. Mwahahaha. We should’ve known he would turn out like this, he’s a ginger after all.

7. Ventress

This would technically make Dark Disciple non-canon? But I don't think Dave Filoni cares, considering he hilariously made the Ahsoka novel non-canon. Ventress is obviously very powerful and capable of dual-wielding and she would make a great candidate for an Inquisitor. Plus her and Morgan Elsbeth are both former Nightsisters so points for rapport.

8. Anakin’s Evil Clone

Hey, I mean Palpatine HAD to start somewhere, right? He didn’t just create Snoke without practice. I like to think he tried making a second Anakin at first, only to discover that Clonakin was a huge pain in the ass and doesn’t wanna follow orders just sit on the couch all day eating the space equivalent of Hot Cheetos.

9. Cal Kestis but he’s evil now

This one pretty much goes against everything we know about Cal but hey, I’ll take a live action Cal cameo any day now. I’ve been on the frontlines defending my babygirl Anakin since day one, don’t even try to lecture me about the ethics of stanning Darksider Cal.

9. Mara Jade

OK no more messing around!! I'm serious this time!

EVERYONE LISTEN CLOSELY!

I think the reason why Dave hasn't made any references to Eli, or Ar'alani, or Vahnya must be because he grew up on the 80s Legends trilogy (not the canon trilogy). Whenever Thrawn is mentioned, there is a direct reference to Heir to the Empire. The same novel where Mara Jade is introduced as the Hand of the Emperor. Coincidence? I think not! Obviously, this must be part of Dave Filoni's master plan to softlaunch the upcoming top secret Thrawn series adaptation.

10. Starkiller

My only real proof is that his name (Marek, Marrok) kinda sounds similar?

Making Starkiller canon would create a whole bunch of problems for the Star Wars timeline. I think his origin story is too Mary Sue-y for even Dave Filoni to try and integrate into current canon.

However, it would be interesting to see a showdown between Anakin's two former apprentices. Interesting, but unlikely.

And finally, for my last guess, I will tell you exactly who Marrok REALLY is. Kathleen Kennedy told me personally, so don't get mad at me! She said it, not me!

11. Luuke (the clone Palpatine made out of Luke's dismembered hand)

This is the ONLY correct answer.

Us Timothy Zahn enjoyers know that this was really Luuke all along. I told you, Snoke isn't the first clone that Palpatine made! I imagine he had a lot of downtime and got bored and decided to fuck around, and that's how we got Luuke.

And yes, I would cast Sebastian Stan to play him because I'm petty AF.

[cuprohastes]

Those Darn Jedi

From a conversation in the notes of the Jedi Archive

@gurps-dungeon-mommy: Also just to add about cheap tricks to fuck someone's saber up - if you flip Khyber crystal in wrong polarity (or jam it with Force, like you proposed) the fucking saber would fucking BLOW UP and AT LEAST take someone out of the fight if not outright murder them on the spot

Cuprohastes: Yeah Khyber crystal canonically can hold massive amount of energy. Which suggests that if you were serious, you could build a Khyber Bomb

gurps-dungeon-mommy: and they let kids make weapons with that shit! ON THEIR OWN! "Here's a little bit of sulfur and coal, little child, construct me some gunpoweder and shoot that target please"

Cuprohastes: Well... no. It's more like 'Hey Timmy here's a plasma cutter. You have to put it together yourself and it uses a grenade as a valve, and when you're done, Lucy is gonna duel you with hers'

gurps-dungeon-mommy: That's even worse of a situation to put the kids in, man. Jedi are the most up-their-ass OSHA violating kickasses with space magic in there, no wonder people stopped liking them after a while

Which brings me to a point about the Prequels. And in fact the entire 9 installment Skywalker saga.

The Jedi are assholes.

Let's examine this shall we?

Not police. But they roam around dispensing justice. How? Mutilation and mind control. Remember Ben Kenobi solves a bar fight by just hacking off someone's arm because it's convenient.

Genocide. They decide to wipe out the Sith culture. Not just the Sith Lords, but their slaves, servants and the people just unfortunate enough to be born in the area. The Jedi show up and perform arial bombardment. And yet...

Slavery Is Fine. Having determined that the Sith cannot be allowed to live, based ont he argument that only the Jedi should be allowed to use the naturally occurring phenomenon of the Force, in the way they see fit, they suddenly hang up their morals and determine that letting the Hutts keep slaves it totes fine...

Clones ... And that continually breeding clones with a chip in their head to prevent them having free will, then using lining beings as cannon fodder is totally fine. c.f. Obi Wan not even pausing when his Clone wingman gets dusted. 'Oh he did his job'.

Child soldiers And yes the Jedi are scooping children up for indoctrination, handing them nuclear chainsaws, and then making them fight. "Hey kid, you're 16 and you already cut a guy in half and spent a couple of years dodging blasters. Here's your hairdo upgrade and some clone troopers, now go fight the Droid Army.

I mean Darth Vader is like 22 years old when Obi Wan sets him on fire and leaves him to cook alive because he was being a vicious shit and didn't want to give his former student an easy death.

The Jedi go on about how acetic they are... living in a giant marble and gold palace on Coruscant with their private navy and servants and army of droids. But they do nothing to make Couscant a better place to live for the people who live there.

And this is the people who have 'protected' the Republic for a thousand generations. 20,000 years.

The original trilogy starts with the Jedi, who were major cultural thing 20 years back, being this forgotten, mythological story.

Luke knows jack shit about the Jedi. Obi Wan straight up lies and massages the truth. There's that 'From a certain point of view" thing but also "A more elegant Weapon from a more civilised time" - Cut to: Qui gon Gin putting a bet on a 10 year old to win a speeder race with the kid's owner, fully intending to leave the boy's mother in slavery... A the start of a war where human slaves with brain chips will be forced to fight for a Republic that's just as bad as the Empire.

The Jedi are massively hypocritical and kind of nuts.

And then in the last three films, Luke's kind of tumbled to the fact the Jedi are... the myth was better than the people. The Jedi created Palpatine. In canon while they knew he was Force Snsitive they just told him he wasn't good enough and left him for the Sith to recruit. They failed to protect, they just leeched off of people. They were roving spree killers.

It's no accident that Mon Mothma wants her own Jedi for the rebellion. Screw the cachet: She knows one space wizard with a laser sword can hack n' slash through imperial troopers like crazy, Mind Trick their way in and out of any fortress, out-fly any normal pilot, and go toe to toe with Darth Vader... who at time of death was what... 45?

She wants her own Vader. She gets him.

"It's time to let the Jedi die out" Luke Says in the final trilogy, and he's right. Because Luke's managed to start another galactic war by creeping around his students bedrooms with a lightsabre and Kylo has some definite opinions on this, which backed up by Sheev Palpatine...

WHO HAS SOMEHOW RETURNED

... is like "Screw this, arson and murder time". And poor Luke is like... hang on, what is the common denominator for every major galactic conflict of the past 10,000 years? Oh yeah, the Jedi getting their dicks out. Well time to shut up shop and go hit up them space-cow tiddies.

Fair play he's got a plan and he's followed through.

BTW that's not jsut any space sea-cow. They're married. They love each other and they're kinky as hell.

[ooops-i-arted]

@ofcoming4th said: Until this episode I didn't fully understand your dislike of this character - after watching I wanted to kick her very hard for being such an ass and so little help.

After her appearance on BOBF where she actively chases Din away from seeing Grogu and giving him the mithril, oops I mean beskar shirt? I now hate the unfeeling idiot. I'm surprised Filoni had the shirt passed on to Grogu, I'd assume he'd have his dream girl make a bikini out of it.

Lmfao I just spit out my drink at the bikini comment. I'll give Filoni this, though - once George Lucas wasn't involved anymore, Ahsoka suddenly got appropriate clothing.

I USED TO just be indifferent. Tried TCW, hated the way they treated my beloved prequel characters, found her underdeveloped and annoying but hey, I'll just skip it like I did the Yuuzhan Vong books! I watched Rebels instead and loved it, great characters, new perspective of the universe, tighter character writing, disliked Ezra at first but 5 episodes in I would fistfight anyone on his behalf because he had his character developed. Except.... Ahsoka kept showing up. Okay whatever. But then the season 2 finale. Rebels is an ensemble show of 6 characters. Only 3 were in the finale and those were SHOVED ASIDE SO AHSOKA COULD CONFRONT VADER AS A RESOLUTION TO TCW, ANOTHER SHOW. Which is still stupid because it's just a rehash, we KNOW Vader has issues with connections because of Obi-Wan and Padme, the real prequel trio already showed that. But by now you wouldn't know it because Ahsoka has fucking replaced Padme (even though no one in their right mind would've given Anakin an apprentice to begin with, the whole premise is contrived!). And even though one of the main characters of the show is blinded and the other blames himself, we get almost zero descending action involving them. But we have time for a long, sad shot of Rex mourning The Best Jedi Padawan Commander Who Left The Order But Also Still Totally A Jedi Somehow. I was so incandescent with rage I STILL haven't finished Rebels season 3 and 4. (And now we're only getting those characters again in her upcoming show.) (Did I mention she implied-died-maybe in the season 2 finale but was brought back with contrived time travel in a later season? And the finale of Rebels had her in white dressed up like Gandalf? Stay the FUCK away from Gandalf, you orange hobgoblin.)

She's there because she's Filoni's pet and that's it. Especially in BoBF when the conversation SHOULD HAVE been between Grogu's actual teacher, Luke, and Din. Because "are you doing this for you or for him?" could be a poignant character moment but all we got was Ahsoka dismissing a much better character with her smug-ass face instead of any actual reflection on Din's part.

(I'm also fucking salty because I wrote a Super Special Awesome Jedi Apprentice when I was 11. She was The Best At Everything and had Special Visions Of The Future and got Multiple Lightsaber Colors Because She Was That Cool and Obi-Wan (my favorite character) thought she was The Best Ever and His Favorite Person but.... I was 11. Filoni is getting bucketloads of money and his ass kissed for the same level of writing I had at 11. Except MY CHARACTER died in Order 66, and actually adhered to the Jedi Code instead of Ahsoka's Have It Both Ways schtick. Also she was apprenticed to Obi-Wan, since apparently Filoni missed Anakin graduating to Actual Child Murderer in AotC and that Anakin is not teacher material in general.)

This was therapeutic thank you for giving me a chance to bitch lol.

[phoenixyfriend]

Okay so I bounced some more with @threebea:

Bea:

Yep it's very awkward but also might be some knowing each other without the lies Also Anakin probably missed Rex despite knowing the bad stuff. Misses since he's all she has had.

They're so messyyyyyy and I love it.

It's only gonna get juicier when Obi-Wan arrives! Not one of these dynamics is stable right now!

I guess Ahsoka could bring Bo-Katan as her plus one, and them being the Token Stable Lesbian Relationship.

Obi-Wan and Anakin? Tense for obvious reasons.

Rex and Anakin? The LIES

Rex and Ahsoka? Have been arguing for months about Anakin

Obi-Wan and Rex, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka? "You faked your death" betrayal

Anakin and Ahsoka? Getting better but Ahsoka still didn't TELL her! And Ahsoka now knows, from Obi-Wan, about the baby murder.

Yeah just like the messiest family reunion Anakin: Why is this man crying on me? Ahsoka: You were supposed to make this easier Obi-Wan: You missed a whole chunk of our last encounter the fact I'm not on the ground right now speaks for my growth Ahsoka: hmm Also Anakin: I mean at least this guy didn't lie to me? But we seem to have beef so... Obi-Wan: Beef isn't the word. Anakin: Sorry, I lack context :/

Rex: That's your adoptive dad

Anakin: Oh!

Bo, in the corner, causing problems on purpose: Guess that means you should be asking him permission for Skywalker's hand in marriage

Obi-Wan: What

Bo was supposed to be the stable support but Obi-Wan ruins everything ❤️ Man, the relationship with Obi-Wan would be so hard to parse because with would be like: Oh he was my Jedi dad... who knows what I became, which I don't remember, but I can see how he would have some trauma, but also Ahsoka has made it sound like we were really close. Also probably: Hey do you have context for why I turned to the Darkside? and Obi-Wan would not have the answers because it was literally,other than Palpatine being Palpatine and that being revealed, Anakin was FINE And it's hard Obi-Wan's side because Anakin isn't so far off from his Anakin predarkside so feels like she's back from the dead without any of their junk worked out

Mustafar still happened so he's PRETTY sure Padmé and the babies were involved.

But not how

Yes, Padmé died, but it's not like there was any indication of that happening before the Choke, so Obi-Wan isn't sure what role that played.

Bo: IDK maybe you should talk to your sister

Obi: Oh, like you did?

Bo: [attempts murder]

(In his defense, Bo is a massive hypocrite about sibling stuff)

Also Ahsoka and Obi-Wan have some stuff but that feels like it gets overshadowed by glad each other is alive Despite being the specific problem, Rex has the least amount of interpersonal conflict but the one he has is pretty big Although Obi-Wan probably not too happy if they give him the whole story on behalf of Anakin

Rex: listen I know it sucks but I panicked and if we were engaged she'd trust me enough that I could hide the Vader stuff until I was sure she was stable!

Ahsoka: you understand how fucked up that sounds, right?

Hmm I wonder if Kamino/military clone structure would have also added to the: yes it's fucked up but also makes perfect sense for Rex. Like took her autonomy but his understanding of autonomy might be a little bit different. Like not saying he doesn't know Just that he might unconsciously see it as not as important. His whole life built around the greater good of others etc etc By himself he's like this is bad but not BAD when you weight it up. Then when he has to justify it to people it's like oh wait.

Have a messy Rexwalker AU

Anidala were casual, there was flirting with Rex but it never went anywhere. Anakin doesn't get barbecued and ends up as Suitless Vader, so the Vader identity is more or less public.

Vader is Captured ™️ by a miscellaneous individual, and Sheevy Boy doesn't care enough to find him.

Instead, Rex stumbles across captured Vader, who is:

A cute girl now

An amnesiac of the fantasy "I don't remember who I am, only have the faintest flashes of my old life" variety

Rex steals Anakin. And kind of... does the questionable thing:

Implies they were a couple, affianced, prior to Her Head Injury.

Rex builds a life of domestic bliss on LIES in the back end of nowhere.

Ahsoka is horrified when she finds them, even though it means Vader isn't so much an issue anymore.

He tries to say it's for the greater good (he'll tell her the truth eventually! When he's sure she won't go back to Sheev!) But uhhhhh he's Guilty Happy whenever she hugs him or gives him a cheek kiss etc.

Waking up in the same bed almost makes him cry with emotion.

(The intended implication of Anakin not noticing anything is wrong wrt gender and the surgeries is that she was never cis in the first place and just. Didn't realize. Could be fully binary trans, could be gender indifferent. Won't know until the truth comes out that she wasn't Always Like This.)

@threebea:

Rex: Everyone is happier by me doing this, including Vader.

Ahsoka: Yes but still!

[nevertheless-moving]

au/episode where Obi-Wan and Anakin run-afoul of some Sith temple defensive measure and both completely lose their memory. Featuring:

wandering around a highly contested hell-scape planet fighting absolutely everyone because they both sense doom from both armies and instinctively trust only each other

it’s deeply embarrassing to be beat up by amnesia duo because they're flailing about really incompetently with makeshift staffs (sith temple stole their lightsabers and their muscle memory is adjusted for a weightless blade) while shouting at each other, “HEY SIR JUST REALIZED I CAN LEVITATE STUFF?!?! CAN EVERYONE LEVITATE STUFF?!?!”

(they think their names are sir and general because that’s what the clones keep calling them while chasing them down)

just the silliest fight scenes as the troopers are desperately trying to demonstrate they’re friendly while also attempting to subdue the Jedi before they die and obi-wan and anakin are really in tune with the force but barely capable at fighting so they mostly just dodge and do cartwheels while like 300 men try to tackle them. everyone looks stupid.

playful bickering over whose older because Sir looks older but maybe it’s just the beard (obi-wan refuses to shave in case General is right)

platonic cuddling because they both get cold and they don’t know they’re not supposed to 

they both sleep incredibly well, it’s honestly insane how much better they feel a week-in, even on the run they’re getting so much more sleep 

(this can most likely be attributed to a lack of crushing guilt and stress but the cuddling also probably helps)

Obi-Wan struggling to use the force and anakin trying to explain until Obi-Wan bursts into tears because “it’s not easy for him how are you making it look so easy”

“Maybe I’m just more experienced?” Anakin says in a panic. 

sparring with staffs like no- this is- this almost right but not at all...

Anakin being very gee whiz sweet a la episode one, like he sees some troopers are in trouble with the quicksand and insists that they go to the rescue.

the group of shinies are relieved but also very unnerved to be rescued by kind and gentle General Skywalker and scowling General Kenobi (Obi-Wan also wanted to help the troops but felt the need to be overly suspicious to balance things out)

alternating between being the risk taker and the cautious one (no change from canon there)

aaand Obi-Wan occasionally going: “What if we're married, or lovers? Maybe we should try and sleep together, just to see if it jogs any memories" because his default mode is slut 

Anakin: "I don't know man it feels wrong" 

Obi-Wan: "yes what does that have to do with anything"

(I’m not very into Obikin so the minor Obikin subplot would be a hilarious source of deep personal and physical distress to them once memories are regained)

Literally the entirety of what happens:

*make out for 30 seconds*

Obi-Wan: *breaks it off* “Yeah you were right that was super weird sorry”

Anakin: “uhhh” (it was super weird for him too but Obi-Wan’s a really good kisser so amnesia!Anakin now has uncomfortably mixed feelings)

Rex chasing them and growing increasingly stressed because everyone thinks they’re way more sexually involved then they actually are and just knows they’re going to freak out when they get back to normal

supporting evidence: cuddling, calling obi-wan ‘sir,’ the fact that the more time passes the more radiantly cheerful they seem- like we get that forgetting all their responsibilities is probably great but they keep getting more good-spirited (this is 95% because of the sleep), a lot of times when they find them they’re inexplicably shirtless and sweaty (meditating and sparring)...the list goes on

this is confirmed when they freak the fuck out upon regaining their memories. Histrionics, vomiting, avoiding each-other, crying. 

so much crying

SO uncomfortable to be around

they get back to coruscant and Anakin breaks down apologizing to Padme and she’s completely understanding, doesn’t consider it infidelity, completely natural given the circumstances, and then Anakin chokes out the explanation of sort-of enjoying his Master’s tongue in his mouth and how he almost even kissed him twice 

Padme: ”...That’s...it?”

Anakin: *sniffling* “I mean sometimes we woke up with boners but that kind-of just happens even when you’re in medbay or whatever...”

Padme: “I see so then you-”

Anakin: “Oh Force No! Oh wow, ugh. Yeah I guess things could have been worse, but still!”

Padme: “...A month and all you did was kiss once?”

Anakin: “I’m not explaining right”

[ayo-cowbelly]

the anakin and barriss au of greatness

it's past midnight but i'm in an inspired mood so fuck it (even tho my typing is waking up my dog who is now looking at me like i'm insane)

ok so what if barriss and anakin had a bigger age gap and barriss ended up being anakins padawan (i know barriss isn’t as battle oriented as ahsoka can be so maybe shes a bit ooc here but idc im here for it)

like imagine the chaos. not in the absolutely-unhinged-murder-twins way of anakin and ahsoka, but more like barriss being the good cop/exasperated mom and anakin being the (sometimes surprisingly wise) feral chihuahua who is either giving out sage advice (that he doesn't follow himself, of course) or throwing a temper tantrum in the middle of a shoe store or something.

so let's start at the beginning, shall we?

barriss would first show up in the clone wars movie with a million different battle plans ready to go

she studied on the way over in her jedi space uber

Walking out talking a mile a minute

“Master kenobi, i understand i’m new here, but maybe we should consider putting the men over here and having a squadron attack from above? Or perhaps the cannons and multiple squads could serve as a good brute force distraction while others could quietly zipline into the shield generator-”

Anakin and obi wan are watching this random, soft spoken 15 year old coming up with plans A, B, C, all the way to Z and just trying to solve all their problems in complete shock

She meets rex and is like “oh hello, by the way, excuse me if this is out of pocket, but i have an interest in healing and i might have a way to slow down the clones’ rapid healing, if that interests you-”

And rex is like o.O who are you and why do i suddenly want to protect you

Give me rex and barriss being a brother-sister wonder twin duo who have to keep anakin from getting fucking oblierated by droids every other week

Barriss and anakin might not get along at first tho

She doesn’t see the point in being extremely reckless and he doesn’t understand the need to be careful/more meticulous in a fight

“Why do you insist on being so ridiculously thoughtless?” “why do YOU insist on thinking so much in the middle of battle?”

But then they learn to fight together and find the happy medium

Please just give me anakin getting barriss so out of her head / teaching her to be more in the moment

But also she teaches anakin the value of patience and allowing others to help you (thE IMPORTANCE OF LEANING ON PEOPLE AND UNDERSTANDING YOUR LIMITS AHHHHH)

there's one battle where it just clicks and they grin at each other, like hey, i understand you, and anakins like holy shit thats my PADAWAN right there

he keeps her from being so hard on herself when she makes mistakes and she tries to convince him that the entire world is not on his shoulders

when an extrovert and an introvert collide but it ends up working out and they bring out the better sides of each other

I want them to emotionally support each other ok

Obvi barriss doesn’t have the whole character regression that was the wrong jedi arc cause my queen didn’t need that and anakin ofc guides her and teaches her to Feel Her Emotions

Also anakin doesn’t fall to the dark here because, due to barriss’ lessons about being less impulsive, he actually 1) took a nap, 2) didn’t shut people (obi wan) out so much, and 3) actually had a few Smart Thoughts™ in ROTS and didn’t just, yk, jump head first into being a sith lord

She balances out his aggressive tendencies, but he teaches her to let out her frustrations

Give me preserving your emotional and mental health by letting other people support you for 400

Imagine:

Anakin: my wife is pregnant what do i do

Barriss, who has been majoring in healing as a side hustle while also practically co-running the 501st: get an OB-GYN then ultrasound that shit

Also obi wan and barriss would be literature besties, they probably have a book club with mace windu and commander wolffe that meets every other week to drink wine and talk shit

Oh also barriss is Smart, and since she’s working on reversing the clones’ accelerated healing, is on kamino all the time, so she discovers the order 66 death chips earlier and fives survives (and ofc palpabitch goes down)

She gets on a zoom call with anakin, rex, and obi wan and pulls up a brain scan of a clone like “yall- tf is this” and then the jedi PI or whoever investigates mysteries on coruscant takes over

Basically barriss is a queen and i love her sm in the weapons factory arc, and i think her dynamic with anakin would be such a good opposites attract = best friends type beat ok

[jedi-enthusiast]

Have you ever watched the movies? And like, did you even read my post?

----------

Once again, Qui-Gon tried to free Shmi, but Watto refused to let him free her—he would only let him take Anakin.

There’s literally nothing else they could’ve done, unless you’re saying that Qui-Gon should’ve murdered Watto and risked starting something with the Hutts, and risked Shmi blowing up because of the tracker in her neck—because, for all we know, they could be set to automatically blow up if their slaver is killed.

-----

The Jedi didn’t “demonize” him for missing/worrying about Shmi, they were trying to get him to admit to his worry/fear- (which is literally the first step in emotional regulation) -and then, when he refused to acknowledge his emotions, warned him that fear could lead to the Dark Side.

And they’re literally right!

You can’t be pissed at them for telling Anakin that when it’s literally what happens in the next two movies. Plus, out of universe, it quite literally serves as foreshadowing for what happens to Anakin—since we know he turns into Vader, but we don’t know the specifics.

-----

Also, in my post, I literally addressed this argument.

To quote myself:

“And you can't say- "well, she just wanted to get Anakin out of slavery, she can't be blamed" -because Shmi could've asked Qui-Gon to do anything with Anakin! Take him to an adoption agency, make sure he finds a good home, get him away from Tatooine and make sure he's safe, etc.

But she told him to take Anakin to the Order and train him to become a Jedi.

And, even if Shmi didn't know of any other options for Anakin, did y'all want Qui-Gon to fucking lie to her? Say he'll train Anakin and then just give him to an adoption agency while flipping Shmi the bird?

Or would you have rather Qui-Gon left him in slavery with Shmi? Because remember, Qui-Gon tried to free Shmi but Watto refused to sell her, he would only sell Anakin.

Trick question! Y'all would bash the Jedi no matter what they did!”

Next time, actually read my post before trying to argue with me, please.

-----

Also, you can’t demonize the whole Jedi Order for the actions of one guy.

Plus, you’re missing the fact that Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, and Padme were literally in the middle of trying to free Naboo from a blockade and trying to save the thousands of people there.

And Qui-Gon only tested Anakin’s Force-sensitivity because, once again, Shmi kept bringing it up.

-----

Again, the Jedi didn’t “demonize” Anakin for being nine and “missing his mother.”

They simply had criteria for him joining---ie being 4 years old or younger---and, when he didn't fit that criteria, they tested him to see if he'd admit to his emotions and therefore be able to practice emotional mindfulness/regulation.

Which is pretty fucking important when acting on your emotions and refusing to regulate them leads to the Dark Side, which then leads to things like murder, slavery, genocide, decades long oppression of the galaxy...

...you know, all things that Anakin did because he didn't practice emotional mindfulness or non-attachment.

The Jedi specifically adopt young children so that they grow up practicing emotional mindfulness and loving in a non-attached way, so that way it's more natural to them.

If someone grows up not regulating their emotions and loving via attachment then it's very hard for them to change and start practicing those things---I should know, I'm attempting to do it, and it's not easy. It takes a lot of hard work, work that Anakin was never willing to put in.

That's why the Jedi didn't think being a Jedi was a good fit for him, and they were right!

But no, god forbid a religious organization actually has criteria for people joining.

-----

I adhere to Lucas canon, not Legends, because Legends is just a bunch of add-ons that George Lucas himself said didn't have anything to do with canon Star Wars. Not to mention that Legends content is wildly contradictory because people rarely collaborated or adhered to what other people made.

But hey! If you get to use Legends content, so do I!

Remember how Anakin is a racist?

Remember how he met a Tusken Jedi, tried to murder him despite him doing nothing to him, only stopped trying to murder him after he took off his mask and looked human, and then said he'd murder the Tuskens---including the fucking children---all over again if he had the chance?

Yeah, are you sure you want to bring Legends content into this?

-----

Finally, no it doesn't, because the Jedi don't forcibly take anyone.

We're literally shown in The Clone Wars that people willingly give up their Force-sensitive kids to be raised by the Order, and have the option to keep their children if they don't want to give them up.

----------

So yeah, your argument is shit and you clearly didn't read my post, but thanks for proving my point!

Like I've said before, at least Stanakins are consistent in the way they prove my points.

Something that’s literally insane to me is the amount of hypocrisy that anti-Jedi people have in regards to the Jedi adopting Anakin.

(or “kidnapping” him, as they’d phrase it—as if Shmi wasn’t literally saying “take Anakin with you to become a Jedi” every other line in TPM, but whatever-)

———

The Jedi: *adopt Anakin*

Anti-Jedi people/Stanakins: they kidnapped him, abused him, brainwashed him into suppressing his emotions, trapped him so that he couldn’t leave, and told him love was evil!!!

The Jedi: *say they probably shouldn’t adopt Anakin since their lifestyle wouldn’t be a good fit for him*

Anti-Jedi people/Stanakins: How dare they not immediately accept him into the Order!!! How dare they actually have criteria for someone joining like any other religion!!! How dare they have valid reasons for thinking that being a Jedi wouldn’t be a good fit for Anakin!!!

———

And it’s usually the same people saying both arguments, depending on which one better fits their argument.

Like…pick a side, for the love of god.

Should the Jedi have not taken him in or should they have taken him in? You can’t have both.

And if you think they were wrong to adopt Anakin, why aren’t y’all getting pissed at Shmi? She’s the one that kept pressuring Qui-Gon to take Anakin and train him to become a Jedi!

And you can’t say- “well, she just wanted to get Anakin out of slavery, she can’t be blamed” -because Shmi could’ve asked Qui-Gon to do anything with Anakin! Take him to an adoption agency, make sure he finds a good home, get him away from Tatooine and make sure he’s safe, etc.

But she told him to take Anakin to the Order and train him to become a Jedi.

And, even if Shmi didn’t know of any other options for Anakin, did y’all want Qui-Gon to fucking lie to her? Say he’ll train Anakin and then just give him to an adoption agency while flipping Shmi the bird?

Or would you have rather Qui-Gon left him in slavery with Shmi? Because remember, Qui-Gon tried to free Shmi but Watto refused to sell her, he would only sell Anakin.

Trick question! Y’all would bash the Jedi no matter what they did!

Like, what was the other option that y’all apparently have in mind? Since you keep shit talking Qui-Gon/the Jedi for literally every decision they could’ve possibly made.

It just…the hypocrisy amazes me.

[obiwanobi]

listen to this AU: obi-wan sleeps with a random guy in the outer rim, realises the day after that he lacked a force signature (aka he hid it), gets suspicious but doesn't meet the guy until like three years later. they sleep with each othr again, they get the other's name (surprise it's anakin), obi-wan thinks he's a pilot, anakin just thinks obi-wan is a regular jedi, not the famous one from the holonet BECAUSE HE'S THAT STUPID. fast forward, they've met several times, slept with eachother 1/2

BUT also bonded, they kinda like each other now, obi.wan looks forward to meeting the handsome arrogant pilot with suspicious jobs, anakin likes the handsome jedi even though he knows he probably shouldn't BECASUE HE HAS A SECRET, also they've avoided the whole force signature thing. one day they meet again. on dooku's ship. anakin has a lightsaber A RED ONE, and obi-wan's like YOU'RE A SITH?? and anakin is like YOU'RE THAT OBI-WAN KENOBI? 2/?

so it turns out, anakin is a sith apprentice because he and dooku/palpatine made a deal, his apprenticeship for his mother's freedom, so he's been secretly training under dooku but never really fought in the war, only doing weird solo missions so obi-wan has never heard of him but without slept and maybeee just fallen in love with a SITH and anakin is super scared of dooku/palpatine, so he's torn between trying to kill obi and getting punished harshly if he doesn't ?/?

but yeah there's this big drama about palpatine being a sith lord, obi-wan being in love with anakin, anakin wanting to help his unofficial boyfriend but also scred of what his master will do to him or his mother, and hopefully this AU has a happy ending with palpatine dying and shmi surviving but i'm not sure. and yeah i was supposed to be anonymous when writing this but forgot so now you know my guilty pleasure aka obikin and star wars

(it’s alright, I don’t have to post your username if you don’t want other people to know 😘) 

my god, this is SO GOOD. I adore the idea of them casually having sex before catching feelings and realising who they are, what a perfect trope.

The post was getting a bit long, so have some more ideas under the cut! 

In an always-a-sith!Anakin AU, I like to think that Obi-Wan doesn’t get a padawan for a while (and probably think that because he barely made it as a padawan himself, he’s not the right person to teach future Jedi,) so it gives him plenty of time to take missions that let him gallivant around the galaxy and be his flirting and daring self without restriction for ten glorious years. So a one night stand with the gorgeous pilot (probably a spice runner, but hey, Obi-Wan isn’t here to judge,) with the arrogance of someone who’s never been praised and loved enough in his life? It’s precisely what Obi-Wan does best. 

At first, Anakin probably thought that it would be fun to sleep with a Jedi, you know, for the irony, but Obi-Wan is strangely pleasant, charming and witty. Not at all cold, moralistic and straight-laced, like other darksiders described the Jedi Order, and he hides behind his charming demeanours and smooth voice a surprisingly daredevil side, which is... very hot, if you ask Anakin.

And the sex is great, so when they meet once again a few months later, it becomes an unspoken agreement that if they’re on the same planet/close to each other, they could... catch up more regularly. It works well, so well that when Anakin sends him a message to tell him that yes, he’s on Coruscant for one rotation, but don’t expect anything from me Obi-Wan, I’m sick, cold, feverish, miserable and absolutely not in the mood, Obi-Wan shows up with medicine and his favourite pastries, before spending the night checking his temperature and fussing over his eating habits. No one has ever taken care of him like that since his mom.

The same night, the news report another great victory for the Republic thanks to the famous Negotiator, and Anakin snorts, says that it’s a very dumb nickname, and what’s his name again? Ben or something? but each time the reporter says his full name Anakin sneezes and each time there is footage of Obi-Wan on screen Anakin goes to the fresher, and Obi-Wan probably thinks he’s the stupidest person in the galaxy and he loves him so much.

Obi-Wan knows he should question Anakin about why he’s always showing up not too far from shady businesses and galaxy-wide conflicts, but Anakin can be very distracting, and his job is not something Obi-Wan wants to know too much about. After all, not talking about the contraband and the flagrant illegality of it all makes it easier to turn a blind eye to it. 

And as you say, the day comes when they finally meet as Jedi and Sith in a real battle, and after a few minutes of “you’re a Sith?” “You’re the famous Jedi who leads half of the Republic’s fleet and you never told me?? I thought you were spending more time teaching at the Temple or gathering old and boring archive files!” “Excuse me, YOU’RE A SITH.” I like to imagine a long fight scene à la Mr and Mrs Smith, with a lot of dirty moves and a lot of “so that time you said you couldn’t see me because you were busy with a large delivery on a sector suspiciously close to Separatist space...?” “yeah, I was picking up one of Grievous’ platoon.” “...I can’t believe I introduced you to my padawan!”

They’re both angry and betrayed, and it ends up with both of them tired, panting, sabers right next to each other’s neck, waiting. After a few seconds, Obi-Wan shakes his head, lowers his blade and says that he won’t do it. He can’t. It pisses Anakin off, but nothing he says (yells furiously at him) can wipe out his sad smile and the tenderness in his eyes, and Anakin breaks.  

They end up fucking again. There are... way too many feelings involved here to be as casual as they pretended until now. “We shouldn’t,” Anakin says quietly, after, both of them still entangled in each other, unwilling to let go.“You shouldn’t. I’m a Sith.” “Now you tell me.” It makes him laugh for a second. 

Now, what’s the ending of this story? Does Anakin tell Obi-Wan that this is just this one time, and next time he will definitely kill him, whatever happens? Does Obi-Wan sees right through him and knows that he’s on the edge of a breakdown, that there must be a reason for Anakin to do all of this, pleading for him to “talk to me, dearest, why won’t you talk to me? Why won’t you let me help, Anakin?” even when they’re both in the middle of a battle, and it justs breaks Anakin a bit more each time?

Or does Anakin explain everything to him right away, and Obi-Wan convinces him that they will find a solution, they will save his mother and stop Sidious, but for now, he has to pretend to remain a loyal Sith? To play it safe, give them time to figure out how to rescue Shmi and stop Sidious? 

 I’m 100% invested now, you should definitely consider writing this fic because it’s an amazing AU! (with or without the ideas I threw here, I was just really into it) 

[anisstories]

I Don't Want This

Chapter 5

His Place

The ride to his home was a quiet one. When he parked his car he saw something he truly didn’t want to. Padme standing there. In front of his house. SHIT! What’s she doing here? If she sees Y/N she’s gonna flip out. What should I do? FUCK! “Y/N!” Anakin whisper-yelled, causing her to wake up. “Are we here?” “Yup, but guess who’s here?” Y/N looked out the car window only to see Padme. “We have to tell her at some point, why not right now” “I told her I wouldn’t come over because I was going to the bar. I come home with her semi-drunk best friend, Ahsoka, and Obi-Wan nowhere in sight. Do you want to ruin my relationship?” Anakin scolded. “Sorry, I can hide under the car seat, I think I can fit.” and she started to squeeze herself in. When Anakin turned back around he saw that the seat was too low and that her chest was visible. Every other part of her fit, except her damn breast. Anakin got out of the car and went to where she was. “What are you doing here?” “Please forgive me.” “Huh?! What are you-” then she felt Anakin’s big hand on her breast who was carefully placing it under the seat. A whimper slipped from her lips, as her breasts were probably the most sensitive part of her body. “I don’t know if that whimper was out of pain or out of pleasure. I’m sorry if it was out of pain. But if it was out of pleasure, I’m gonna need to ask you to calm down, I know my hands work miracles but we are in a sticky situation” Anakin smirked. “I swear if I wasn’t forced to be under this damn chair, I’d fuck you,” Y/N glared then realized what she said “No, that’s not what I meant, I mean to say-” Anakin gave a knowing smile. “Maybe some other time.” “You’re so annoying!” “That’s not what you said two seconds ago,” Anakin said as he closed the car door leaving the car windows open.

“Ani!!!” Padme ran to hug Anakin. “Hey, Padme! What’s up?” Then Padme’s face changed. She was sniffing his collar. Fuck Y/N fell asleep on me, she probably smelt her perfume. “You drink too much, that's dangerous.” Padme scolded. “I’ll take it down a few notches. Thank the Maker for Y/N’s spilled drink. “Well that’s all I was here for, just wanted to make sure you came home safe. Your phone was off so I couldn’t reach you.” “Oh yeah, my battery died…” Anakin said, praying he wouldn’t be caught in his lie. “Yea, sorry about accusing you of cheating, I know you wouldn’t do that. I was just tired is all. My cab’s here, I’ll take my leave.” “Yea, see you. Text me when you get home.” Anakin yelled as Padme was running towards her cab.

Then he ran back to his car and opened the door. There Y/n could be seen trying to get herself out. “Need some help?” Anakin asked. “No shit.” Y/N was getting annoyed, it was so hot in his car and he took his sweet ass time. She’s his girlfriend but she was hot, sticky, sweaty, and felt herself falling into a drunken state, so she was irritable. “I don’t think your daddy would be proud to hear these words out your mouth.” Anakin jokes. “I’ve said worse right to his face.” Y/N laughed. Once she was out of the car she grabbed onto Anakin’s shoulders. “I don’t think I can walk.” she felt like ants were crawling in her legs. They were about to fall asleep but it wasn’t at its worst stage yet. Anakin bent down ready to pick her up bridal style. “And don’t carry me bridal style, I feel like I'm going to slip out of your hands.” Anakin grabbed her thighs and put them around his waist. “H-Hey I-I’m wearing a skirt.” Y/N stuttered. “Well, Princess, the options are bridal style, this way, or you crawl into the house. And no I’m not putting you over my shoulder. I don’t want your ass in my face.” Y/N laughed. “Okay let’s go in. Also about my ass in your face, you scared you won’t be able to control yourself? I mean it’s understandable, I have a pretty great ass.” Does alcohol make her this confident? Let me just humor her. I don't want her to start yelling because I’m being cold. “You want to test that theory?” “No, I’m okay!” Anakin laughed as he opened the house doors. What they didn’t know was that Padme had mistaken her cab and had seen the whole scene unfold.

Once they were inside he saw that everyone had fallen asleep. Owen’s car was missing so he probably spent the night at Beru's. At least Y/N won’t be scared. He chuckled at the thought. When he went to place Y/N down on the sofa he saw she was asleep. “Hey, Y/N, wake up, I need you to change so that I can wash your clothing.” Y/N woke up and said, “but I have no clothes to change into.” She pouted. “Wait here,” Anakin ran up to his room, grabbed a white sweatshirt and some basketball shorts. “Here these should fit.” Y/N grabbed the clothing, she grabbed the basketball shorts and threw them at him, “take these back, I only sleep in oversized shirts.” And then she shocked Anakin. “Help me change,” Y/N said miserably as she couldn’t unbutton her shirt. Did she just get drunk again? She was fucking sober like 5 minutes ago. “Are you gonna help me!?” she started raising her voice. Anakin, afraid that she was going to wake his mom and Cliegg, got on the sofa and started unbuttoning her shirt. The curtain was slightly open, so he looked out the window as he unbuttoned her shirt, and he saw his worst fear become reality. Padme was standing outside, in his driveway, she hadn’t seen what was going on indoors, but the tears streaming down her face showed that she saw everything that happened outside. Padme noticed Anakin had seen her and ran off.

Taglist

@songbirdcannabe

@blondekel77

Sorry a few issues came up so I wasn't able to upload this past week. However, they have been resolved so I'll be back to updating regularly.

[phoenixyfriend]

Fake Sith TCW Trio

I have another fucked up time-travel AU! Who’s surprised? (Nobody.)

So like. Have you guys read that one fic where Luke and his students go back in time and pretend to be Sith Lords and are super hammy about it? (Sith Lord Swell by AMournfulHowlInTheNight)

This AU has contributions by @atagotiak, @the-lunar-system, @purronronner, @gelpenss, @creepingthroughthistidalwave, and @thisarenotarealblog.

I want TCW trio (plus Rex and Cody) to go back to several years pre-TPM and, since the Council DEFINITELY won't believe them about the Sith being back... they'll force the issue.

Anakin is weirdly excited about things and building up their backstory.

Anakin: Okay so I can definitely be a Maul type, with the unhinged ranting and manic laughter, Obi-Wan can be the whole Refined Rich Guy type like Dooku, where you can't even tell he's evil until he starts talking about getting out the eyeball scoops, maybe toss in a bit of mad science stuff? Ahsoka could play up like Ventress OR, oh oh, she can be the Light Side Child we need to PROTECT who's publicly begging us to return to the Light after our big dramatic Falls where we murdered like eighty people to save her, and-- Obi-Wan: Why are you never this enthusiastic about actual undercover missions. Ahsoka: Did you just have all this ready to go, or...? Anakin: WE COULD GET YELLOW CONTACT LENSES FOR ME.

Obi-Wan: How's my evil laugh?

Anakin going “Okay.. so if any of us need to murder someone to sell the bit it should be me, I think I could handle it the best. Why? No reason.”

Obi-Wan: I'm not sure a complete Fall could come from protecting Ahsoka, really-- Anakin: No, no, it could.

Obi-Wan: Surely you’d hold back because you realize neither of us want that for you. Anakin: Uh. Sure. Definitely.

Obi-Wan points out that none of them can channel the dark side to Prove they're Sith and Anakin just goes "Okay, give me like two seconds to stew in my negativity and--right, you can stop staring in horror, please."

Anakin rambles on that they can TOTALLY make the galaxy a better place while playing at being Sith! He's got a whole LIST of slave empires to "take over" and disassemble!

Anakin has a whole excited spiel about how EVIL soldiers and assistants are minions, in this case partly because Cody and Rex are too good at what they do to be mooks. Cody could pull off evil minion very well. Facial scar? Looks good in black? Quietly competent and sarcastic?

He also pushes for Obi-Wan to lounge in a fancy throne with a glass of wine while Anakin stalks the shadows and Ahsoka hangs out on the window ledge. The disaster lineage is dramatic, okay, Anakin’s just leaning into it, he’d appreciate it if everyone stopped looking at him like that.

Qui-Gon, surprisingly, ends up a skeptic about all of this. Everyone is freaking out about the Sith and he’s like “y’know I’m not even sure they’re darksiders.”

Some Jedi, possibly Qui-Gon for his conspiracy board, gets in a real risky situation and one of the Fake Sith saves them, but also panics and kinda drops character for a bit.

Jedi: You saved me! Why’d you do that? Anakin: I uh... just wanted the pleasure of killing you myself?

"You saved me. Why?" "Mmmm. Jedi." [walks away]

Qui-Gon: [trying to figure out what is up with these people semi-competently (from his perspective) pretending to be Sith] Dooku: [trying to protect Qui-Gon from Sith influence]

The gang is the most successful at pretending to be Sith to Dooku. Sure, they’re not gonna punish him for something he hasn’t done, but it’s not hard to act menacing and angry around him.

(They really do have so much fun irritating the heck out of Dooku. He hasn’t Fallen yet, but they want to keep an eye out.)

At some point, future Obi-Wan definitely drops that little tidbit of "What, you didn't think the Banites were the only Sith running around did you? You... didn't even know about the Banites. How... disappointing."

They REGULARLY use Ahsoka as an excuse to be marginally less terrible. They claim that if Ahsoka pouts, they stop. ‘Soka also uses them as an excuse for why she’s a lil feral. (To be fair, that one is accurate. She was already a lil feral before but it’s not like they did anything to stop it.) Ahsoka gets her "breaking into people's offices" jollies by bugging Nute Gunray's office.

The Jedi keep trying to Rescue Ahsoka.

Rex and Cody end up in real beskar, there's a whole Thing with Mandalore and Jango and Satine.

Obi-Wan is CONSISTENTLY worried about Anakin Falling for real, which... hey, at least he knows to be worried about Anakin Falling. Step up from canon, really.

Anakin is WAY too into killing the Hutts but like. It does... technically sell the bit.

Obi-Wan: Sure, I’m not sad that they’re dead, especially because we’re not connected to the Republic, so we don’t need to worry about starting a war and all that. But. Anakin is disturbingly cheerful about this. Rex: Wasn't he a Hutt slave? Obi-Wan: Well yes, but-- Rex: I'd kill Nala Se if I could get away with it.

Cody and Rex are very supportive of Anakin's murderous intentions.

Obi-Wan does understand anger, even killing someone in anger. Like Maul (the first time at least) and D’nar and a few others. All the same, like... y’know. The level of bloodthirst from the others is a little off-putting.

At one point, Anakin accidentally addresses young Obi-Wan by name, despite never having met before, and to cover it up, he... panic-flirts. He panics, and so he flirts, with young Obi-Wan.

(He will later blame this on old Obi-Wan, because he had to pick up the habit of flirting with the enemy from somewhere.)

Anakin vaguely implies that he's a wee bit obsessed with young Obi, and that the padawan should "get used to being the target of a dark-sider's interests," because he’s scrambling for Ominous Shit and, well, future Obi-Wan was pretty frequently a fixation point for darksiders, right?

The second he gets out, he just starts screaming into a bucket while Rex pats him on the back.

For the next however many terrible months, possibly years, he has to keep up the act while having an ongoing meltdown about how That's My Dad As A Twenty-Something.

(It doesn't help that young Obi-Wan reflexively flirted back.)

Old Obi-Wan, meanwhile, is just very "you dug this hole yourself, padawan."

There is an argument at the beginning about Obi-Wan’s outfit. If he’s gonna be a Sith, he can’t just go around in beige, but he’s like “I like this and it’s comfy.” Sure, he’s changed clothes for undercover stuff, but that’s always been temporary, y’know? He likes his beige.

We have a number of options.

My first instinct? Beige linen three piece suit, like a southern lawyer. "Now I may just be a simple Outer Rim force adept--"

And, of course, you can TOTALLY make the beige sinister: he’s impersonating a Jedi! Jedi impersonation would also explain why nobody has a red saber.

“Sure is good that the Jedi don’t seem to realize most of the galaxy doesn’t know red sabers are different and bad.” “Shhhh, stop poking holes in our story where a Jedi might overhear.”

Like.... if you do enough doublethink, it works! How would a Sith hide? In plain sight. Also, it’s a GREAT way (if they were actually assholes) to try to slander the Jedi name.

(Anakin and Ahsoka still think he could stand to put a little more effort in. Add a splash of color, for pity's sake!)

Though tbh part of me is like “What if Old Obi wore, like... a split skirt suit...” Victorian womenswear inspired because he misses his robes, but he has to look Professional, and like he's MOCKING Jedi instead of BEING one, so he wears a vintage-y split skirt thing over his leggings. Ends up looking a lot like what Ventress had for a while, but Beige. I also keep wanting to put him regency menswear.

Anyway. Obi-Wan’s wardrobe aside...

Anakin builds up his Tatoo accent again. It helps him with the (mostly true) "slavery helped me fall" backstory.

Either Cody or Rex offhandedly mentions being made to serve them (the Fake Sith) and now the Jedi are somewhat concerned about brainwashing. Are these Mandos the victims here?

“No like. Literally made for this. In a lab.” This is even more horrifying. So...

On the one hand good! The Jedi should be scared about Sith! On the other hand... it makes the Jedi more determined to stop them, specifically. They keep on getting in the way, just, all the time, and they’re not investigating the actual Sith problem, which is decidedly not great since the Team doesn’t actually know who’s a real Sith right now, except Maul, and who even knows where that guy is.

Obi-Wan, at some point: Do you think we've succeeded at this ruse... a little TOO well? Anakin: I don't follow. Obi-Wan, gesturing at the truly obnoxious amount of wealth they've collected, including "trophies" of their kills: Really? Because I'm a little worried! Anakin, planning out a battle to take on Nar Shadda: ...I'm not.

"How many people do we realistically we need to take over Hutt Space? Apparently... five."

(Mostly because Anakin is ridiculously op.)

ANAKIN AND YOUNG OBI GET KIDNAPPED BY PIRATES TOGETHER. It's tradition.

Anakin: Okay, so, I need to get really angry about something to pass as a Sith... time to think about my WIFE and how I'll NEVER SEE HER AGAIN.

Since Anakin’s life never goes as planned... this does not work. Instead of getting properly angry, he makes himself sad. There are tears. There is wailing. There’s a distraught rant or two. Young Obi ends up awkwardly trying to comfort him.

“Oh no, this… Sith?? Is crying on me. What do I do???”

Later on, when the Council wants intel: "So... one of the Sith cried on me about his wife. I think she's dead? He wasn't very clear about it but it, uh... it sounded like it might have contributed to his Fall. Also the relationship was a little unhealthy? He basically worshiped the ground she walked on and kept ranting about how he would have given her the galaxy on a platinum platter of she'd only asked, but that might be new and inspired by the Dark."

One of the random Jedi is REALLY good at detecting the truth Through The Force, and asks Anakin how he Fell...

Anakin just. Tells the Tuskens story.

They don't get pinged as lying, but oh boy does old Obi have a LOT of questions for Anakin once they're in private.

There are other things happening to help sell the ruse. Some of them are necessary! Some of them are... not.

Obi-Wan: What's the best way to show we're rich and kind of evil, but like... classy about it? Anakin, immediately: I sit on the floor next to the throne, leaning against it, and you call me pet names while stroking my hair, and then when you need something killed I get to do it for you and then I go back to the floor and you thank me for the directed violence, and then you go back to Negotiations with criminals while I’m sitting there covered in blood. Obi-Wan: ...is there something you want to TELL us, or...?

"You're all going to get a glimpse of something normally kept hidden about me." "Anakin, you don't have to do that." "No, I'm gonna."

(Anakin has decided hes going to peel his kink tomato to sell this ruse, and the others are slightly uncomfortable with that.)

Anakin: Okay, I cannot keep flirting with you. Young Obi: Wait, what? But that's the best part of any time we run into you! Anakin: You look WAY too much like my Master did when I met him. Obi: O...kay? If someone looked like my master when HE was young, I'd-- Anakin: My Sith Master half-raised me. He's basically my dad. Obi: ... Anakin: What's that look for? Obi: I mean, you spend a lot of time lounging at his feet, and, like, given how much you hate slavery, I... kind of assumed it was a kink thing? Anakin, brightly: Oh no, I just have a LOT of trauma. And neuroses. Snips says they’re neuroses.

Young Obi is a little upset because he was actually getting REALLY into Flirting With The Enemy and was hoping it would go somewhere. He mopes to Qui-Gon about it. Qui-Gon isn't sure whether to be proud about Obi breaking rules, or worried over Obi-Wan falling for a Fake Sith.

(As Tia put it: "You enjoy making young Obi-Wan have a completely unrequited crush on Anakin, don’t you?")

Fortunately, one of those attractive Young Mando boys very kindly helped him tape up his ribs this one time, and has thus caught his eye...

I feel like having Cody date Young Obi would court an entirely different kind of (internet) drama because clone ages, but whatever.

Also please imagine an element of "so I'm dating the genetic identical of my boss... who's dating the man I'm a genetic identical of..."

(It's probably not actually Jangobi but man would that be funny and also stupid.)

Somehow Young Obi figures out that the "Sith Master" is a future him before he realizes that they're not actually dark. In his defense, Anakin was pretty convincing. Especially with the wife rant. It makes HIM more obsessed with Anakin, in a reversal of the implied earlier dynamic, which is all kinds of weird. Less romantic but like. Still weird.

"Future Me Scares Me" with Extra stupid. "Future Me Annoys Me." "Future Me acts like grandmaster Dooku, but more sass." "Future Me raised a really hot evil guy that refuses to bang Present Me." "Future Me might be a Sith, but I'm getting more and more convinced he's just fucking with us all." "Future Me is really rocking that beard, and I can't BELIEVE we figured out a way around the babyface."

"I’m kinda concerned about the whole evil thing, but I’m also glad that I know I’ll stay hot as I get older."

Quinlan approves of the priorities.

Also a lot of interactions with older Obi are very Anakin: [does/says something deeply unhinged] Obi-Wan: So, do you want to…. Talk about that? Maybe? Anakin: What’s there to talk about?? I’m fine, everything’s fine! Anyways how about those plans for tracking down Maul?

Anakin later, like way after the ruse is lifted, just blankly tells everyone that he did Fall, once, and Older Obi made him get therapy about it after the truth came out between the two of them a few months into the Fake Sith thing.

Where'd they find a therapist? I'm sure there's one SOMEWHERE around. Denon and Herdessa are close enough, and they've done enough "your criminal empire now belongs to me" that they can pay well. They make sure to find one that takes confidentiality real seriously.

It's all very "we need some more time to unpack all that."

Therapy helps get Anakin to figure out Sheev’s whole deal. They don't necessarily figure out he’s a Sith from it, but they figure out he’s sketchy and they need to look into that more. Obi-Wan probably already thought he was sketchy, but the whole active gaslighting campaign was a little surprising. They realize that he kinda benefited a lot from a lot of Sith plots and they still probably don’t think he’s a Sith but Obi-Wan is definitely starting to think he’s working with one.

"Okay, we're already bugging Gunray, should we bug Palpatine just to be safe?"

They get away with a lot of slicing because Anakin is a technical genius from twenty years in the future.

The reasons they're so good at Taking Over Hutt Space: 1. They know parts of the future. 2. They have superpowers and FAR less reason to not use them, now that their actions aren't going to reflect on the Republic. 3. They have Cody and Rex, who are two of the greatest military minds in the galaxy, and know EXACTLY how to wage a war that covers a solid third of the galaxy, starting from a position of relative weakness. 4. Anakin's charisma is scary high, and his knowledge of slave culture means they gain a lot of trust from the people they free, and they just... keep acquiring volunteers for the army they didn't plan to have. Obi-Wan doesn't know what to do. He thinks they might have started a cult?

In his defense, Dooku sort of started a cult, and Komari got kidnapped by a cult, brainwashed into joining it properly, and then took it over as head figure of said cult. It's practically tradition!

Comics Vader is the central figure of like three different cults, it was really just inevitable.

Anakin: Aw, don't worry master, it's not a cult, it's a revolution! Ahsoka: They're worshiping him, though. Anakin: ...it's still a revolution! Just... with some misunderstandings.

Also, if they got wind of people trying to keep people from being able to leave and other culty stuff like that, they’d probably put a stop to it pretty damn quick.

Names! Time for names. As per usual, it's easiest to keep track of Obi-Wan's alternate Older Self by just calling him Ben.

Darth Ben.

Ahsoka: You should be Darth Boring. Obi-Wan: I can still make you run laps, you know.

Anakin: The Force is telling me to call myself Darth Vader. Obi-Wan: ...why? Anakin: I dunno, but it sounds cool, I'll run with it.

Someone: Ben has all the answers; we shouldn’t question him, ever. Ben: One time I lost a planet, and a five-year-old found it for me.

More options: Going with the "evil word with the prefix 'in' chopped off" that we get with Sidious and Vader: Darth Surrectus (as in insurrection) Just random Latin words: Darth Temporus (time) Darth Commenticius (fake)

Anyway, back to Nonsense:

Maul goes after young Obi early, because the Fake Sith are really invested in this one random Padawan (Sidious is saying he might be a cousin of the false Sith Master? They do look similar enough) so someone needs to investigate. Naturally, Anakin shows up with some wild screeching to fight Maul, and when someone questions why he got involved it gets very "Kenobi is MINE!" and like. Okay. So.

Anakin means it in a very Sith "to toy with" and "to torture" way, or the ‘my chosen opponent!’ way, just the same kind of Obsession as Maul had with Obi-Wan in the original timeline. Unfortunately, Anakin’s a weird-ass person who flirts with Young Obi against his own better judgement, so there's some awkward "Like... your boyfriend?" from young Obi. Anakin just screeches in SOME emotion that nobody wants to interpret, and couldn't even if they wanted to, and starts whacking away at Maul again.

(Anakin hasn't explained the "you look exactly like my dad, sorry, it's just too weird" thing yet, and he is HAVING MANY REGRETS.)

There's definitely at least one instance where a person asks Anakin if he's planning on dating That One Jedi Twink, or at least banging out the tension. At that point in time, Anakin doesn't actually know who the fuck they're talking about, because "Obi-Wan + Twink = Does Not Compute" for dear, dense Ani, and instead he just ends up ranting about how he is LOYAL TO THE MEMORY OF HIS LATE WIFE, how DARE anyone so much as INSINUATE that he would TARNISH HER PERFECT MEMORY and UNWAVERING KINDNESS and WHOLESOME BEING, and the person who asked doesn't end up lightsabered but they do end up with a LOT to tell whoever they're reporting to.

Young Obi-Wan definitely hears Anakin mutter the phrase “something to discuss with my therapist later” a few times, and he’s a little bewildered because darksiders definitely don’t seem like the type of people to go to therapy. They’re the type of people to need therapy, sure, but not the type to go to therapy.

I think it would be very fun for Young Obi to continue sighing over Anakin (who's pretending to be fine with it and even flirting back because he's in too deep to stop and hasn't worked up the courage to explain the elephant in the room) while Anakin is covered in grease and infodumping while having a slightly manic hyperfocus on engine repairs while the two of them Somehow got stranded together in the middle of bumfuck nowhere (it's Plagueis's doing, he finds the interactions between THESE two in particular to be the most informative regarding the fake Sith).

Anakin, at some point while stranded with young Obi-Wan, and having actually started unpacking some stuff in therapy, though he’s def still got a ways to go: I’m pretty sure Ben cares about me. He acts like he cares, like he’ll do stuff like put extra blankets in my quarters in the spaceship because I get cold real easily or track down those droid parts I need for a project and he always has my back in a fight but y’know it’d be nice to hear him say he loves me once in a while. Especially because we kinda had a rough start and idk I don’t think he wanted me around at first.

And uh. Obi-Wan definitely relates to that a bit too much, y’know?

I want to say that Young Obi ends up mentioning All That to one of the clones or Ahsoka later, because they seem probably invested in Anakin's well-being, even if Ben is, well, a Sith, so Obi-Wan's a little worried the man's affection really is fake, but at least Ahsoka...

(Ironic, given what Anakin's actual eventual Sith would-be-Master was like.)

Young Obi mentions Anakin’s most recent rant to Ahsoka, and she just goes "Wait, is that why Skyguy likes to sit by the throne and get called pet names?" "Uh... I don't... know... but it sounds like all of you have a LOT to unpack there, Miss Apprentice."

Later on: "Master Kenobi, you need to tell Skyguy you love him 'cause apparently he's been having a lot of emotions about you not telling him you care and he's been talking to mini-you about it whenever they get stuck together and--"

Young Obi-Wan is just constantly the "Now we don't have time to unpack all of that" John Mulaney gif. Anakin in particular is a mess, and young Obi-Wan slowly goes from "I want to date that" to "I want to study that" about him.

Obi-Wan gets stuck somewhere with Ben, tries to small talk, gets on the topic of Vader, and spills the drama. He gets an awkward “Thank you for bringing that to my attention.”

It’s followed by a fairly frustrated “I try, but Anakin refuses to communicate his needs to me, and it feels like I’m always falling short.”

At least one member of the group is in therapy, probably all of them, but they’re still using young Obi as a sounding board for all this stuff. On the bright side, this is probably good for impressing the importance of good communication on Obi-Wan.

Good for Obi-Wan! And... whatever Padawan he eventually has.

As for baby Anakin, who is approximately age four, I want to go with "Anakin decides to be his own uncle, and Shmi just rolls with it because fuck it, she’s not a slave anymore, and a Fake Sith is a solid defense against anyone trying to re-enslave them."

[This is a backstory I've had them use before (see here and here).]

Seeing Big Ani and Little Ani in the same space might be what finally pings the "oh shit, that's future me" thing for Obi-Wan... you know, if he’s ever allowed close enough to see Little Ani in the first place.

Little Ani stays with the fake-Sith and is sorta jointly trained by all of them, and young Obi-Wan teaches little 'Soka at the Temple. Ani and 'Soka still end up friends somehow, but it is fairly different.

Every time little Ani addresses Old Obi as "Dad," it's just like ten kinds of awkward. The one time someone tried to explain that Ben wasn't his new dad, Shmi glared them down. She is of the opinion that, all the gods be damned, Ani deserves to refer to the most mature man in his life, who raised another him in another timeline already, as a father.

Ani doesn't NEED a father, Shmi herself is more than enough, but he does deserve to have this if he wants it.

An alternative conclusion to the time travel is uh. So the Mandalorians are genetically identical (give or take a hair gene) and really resemble Jango Fett, though whether anyone notices that is up in the air. Then the three ‘Sith’ (two fake Sith and their morality chain tag-along) have three younger, identical copies show up….

It could be really weird cloning shenanigans. Now, it makes no sense that they’d make clones, and stagger their production like that, and leave them as babies on various planets for Jedi to find. IDK what reasons Obi-Wan would come up with for that, but it’s a fun little detour before he gets to time travel.

There's a really painful moment (for the audience, who know about canon Vader) where someone tries to convince Ahsoka to leave the Sith and she's just like "no way, they'd never hurt me!” Then she clarifies that “someone has to keep them from doing stupid Sith shit whenever they get bored, you know?"

A bunch of Jedi probably think she’s delusional, but the few that have seen her get into trouble that is legitimately too much for her, which isn't often, have then seen Anakin show up like the devil himself to save her, and it's like. Oh. This is why she isn't scared of them hurting her.

We’ve discussed how Anakin does get concerningly in character with the fake Sith thing. However, Anakin and Ahsoka are, just once in a while, surprised by how Ben gets sometimes when playing the bad guy.

After all, he stabbed a dude with a fork and threatened to eat him during his time as Hardeen…

He has the same dramatic streak as all the rest of the lineage. He can be vindictive and creepy and scary as fuck.

HOWEVER:

Obi-Wan: I know I'm supposed to be playing at evil right now, but how do we feel about me making that evil a little... fruity? Ahsoka: Fruity, master? Anakin, who knows where this is going: [buries face in hands] Obi-Wan: You know, the... [limp wrist] Ahsoka: ... Obi-Wan: I mean, I'm already bisexual and well-groomed, I can play it up.

What’s the point of being evil if you can’t be flamboyant?

Anyway, I had to put in a lot of thought for what to do with Rex and Cody, because there's a solid place for them in terms of strategy, but it doesn't do much to give them independent narrative arcs, and 'young Obi-Wan has a crush' isn't much of an arc, you know?

So, basic info first: Cody, Rex, and Anakin all hold the rank of General in this AU because, like... who else is gonna. Ahsoka remains a commander because everyone declares her Baby, and also to keep up the "I'm a morality chain" ruse.

Cody maintains a very stern and unyielding public persona, but the second they're behind closed doors, he's roughhousing with his little brother.

Rex has some fun pretending to be a sadist whenever he and Anakin have to team up, because hamming it up as an evil bastard in front of Jedi is actually really fun... but usually, he's a competent fucking professional.

Because here's the thing: someone has to be.

They both kind of hate the army they've gotten, because these people don't even have proper trigger discipline, let alone any actual discipline.

This army? Tragic. They hate it. Give them the clones.

They have to be drill sergeants for months before they have anything worth sending onto the field.

I think that might be how/when they end up reaching out to Jango. Like, the first inroad is absolutely "we're your clones from the future and you were a Shit Dad so you owe us," but then they actually talk him around into letting the Fake Sith hire him. He brings along all the Mandalorians he can get to answer his calls, and on suggestion from Those Mando Twins, joins the army Ben doesn't even want.

Darth Boring doesn't want an army! Unfortunately, Cody thinks that's stupid as hell, and is overruling Ben so they can actually work on this 'cleaning up the galaxy of slavery' thing with actual resources.

Cody and Rex are super competent, and it shows in their horrified disdain for the state of their troops.

Rex: Fucking natborns. Anyone who isn't in the know: What's a natborn? Rex: [leaves without answering] People: WHAT'S A NATBORN???

(I'm assuming that the word smush is harder to parse in Basic.)

I think young Obi-Wan's new crush on Cody should also be unrequited. Cody's just like... bemused. Very "Okay, then, that sure is an Affection you've decided on."

Cody and Anakin both: Sorry, it’d just be too weird. Obi-Wan: Why would it be too weird? Cody and Anakin: Reasons.

Rex has to deal with the "whyyyyy" from both his brother and his (former?) General.

Young Obi-Wan just likes cute boys that fight good! Is that so wrong???

Ahsoka: So since we're not officially Jedi anymore-- Obi-Wan: We're still Je-- Ahsoka: Can we date? Can I date now? I want to date someone before we go back to the Code. It's a classic life experience for most teenage girls, and I want to Have That Experience before we're back at the Temple. Obi-Wan: You're not... you can date, Ahsoka, that's not actually banned by the Code. I mean, you'd have to keep it casual, but-- Ahsoka: I CAN DATE!!!

(Great priorities, Ahsoka.)

An idea I'm toying with is that one of the clones ends up Legally Engaged to Satine for political reasons, and young Obi-Wan is just like ???? because not only can he not date the hot boys, but one of said hot boys has become Mr. Steal Yo Girl.

Young Obi-Wan is suffering, and Quinlan is the worst friend ever because Quinlan is laughing at him.

There is obviously the question of

"How would Satine ever end up agreeing to that, given what their public personas are like and all that? She puts duty ahead of personal feelings but all indications are that it’s a terrible decision both ways." (as stated by Tia)

Which, yes, I forgot to actually say that I was imagining Jango had declared "those twins" his heirs after telling people they were his younger* cousins. Because reasons.

* Jango is about 27 when they land in the past, and I’m going to say the accelerated aging ended after hitting physically twenty because no, I don’t want to deal with that. As far as anyone knows, Cody and Rex are about five years younger than Jango. They’re less than year apart, which isn’t very visible, and most people assume they’re identical twins (except Rex’s hair), and that Cody just looks slightly older because of the scar.

Darth Boring had convinced Satine that the way to keeping Mandalore peaceful was to work with Jango (because Darth Boring, which is not his actual title but it is what Ahsoka insists on calling him in private, has a vested interest in keeping Mandalore and all interested parties calm), and he... maybe accidentally set up a political marriage between her and one of the clones.

It wasn't on purpose! Satine never married in his timeline, okay, he didn't expect her to ever get married here, either! He didn't even suggest it! This just happened!

(I want to say that Cody would be more competent at having a political marriage? But IDK.)

Do I do the Satine thing? It has potential, but also it's a bit of a cop-out. Do I have Cody be a diplomatic representative for their pseudo-Sith empire? He could be, but I think he'd hate it. Do I have Rex date one the Chaos Entities (Anakin or Ahsoka), or is that too repetitive with my other works? THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH GOING ON.

Part of me wants Quinlan to get a crush on Cody, and the crush gets bigger specifically in response to the fact that Cody refuses to take him seriously and/or just doesn't give him the time of day.

Based on their one interaction in TCW, they probably let get along ok. Cody maybe likes him back, buuuuuuut internally he's just a little "you were tolerable at almost-forty; early twenties you is obnoxious."

Just imagine the absolutely puppyish attempts at gaining approval and Impressing The Hot Mando General. Quinlan keeps having vague daydreams of seducing someone to the side of the Light. He really leans into the bodice ripper fantasies of saving someone evil with the power of love! (And also the power of really good sex.)

Bant looks at Quin and Obi and wants to throw them both into the nearest pond because they're idiots, but on this topic they are the same flavor of idiot. She considers calling up Reeft and Garen to help her knock some sense into them.

Quinlan: Can I volunteer to go undercover to the Sith? The Council: No. Quinlan: ...what if I-- The Council: No.

Tholme tries to get Qui-Gon to commiserate over their Padawans getting obsessed with Hot Sith Boys, but Qui-Gon just finds the whole thing funny. He knows from the chats he has with Ben that Anakin feels so completely, utterly, incredibly awkward about all of this.

(Ben continues to hold to "Anakin brought this on himself.")

(Ben also “kidnaps” Qui-Gon a lot.)

Also, hey, at least Quinlan isn’t actually into hot Sith boys! He’s into hot Sith minions which is... probably a step up. At least Cody’s not a Sith himself!

It's a step in some direction but Tholme has no idea which one.

(Quinlan sees Cody in dress uniform once and just keeps the mental image for Ages. It’s in his dreams. Sometimes said dreams overflow to Tholme via Force Mind Magic and Quinlan wakes up to someone smacking his face with a pillow.)

Arguably, Quin's also a lot more romantic about his crush than Obi-Wan is, in this case. Quinlan: I want to save him... Obi-Wan: Hey, hey, cute boy. Look at me. Let’s bang.

Cody: There are currently two future Jedi generals having some form of absurd romantic fixation in my direction. I don't know how to feel about this. Rex: Bed them. Cody: ...I'm not saying that's not eventually an option, but one of them is the younger Kenobi, and I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that. Rex: Pat him on the head like a tooka and then bed his friend, it'll be funny.

I think the Quinlan thing and also general exasperation of leading an absolutely useless army can function pretty solidly as the basis for Cody, but I have another idea for Rex now.

Komari is currently brainwashed in a cult, yes? So.

I keep bouncing around back and forth on what to do with Rex, but part of me suddenly really likes the idea of, after Team Fake Sith finds and dissolves the cult (as one does), and takes Komari into custody (because she's dangerous and deeply unwell), Rex kind of ends up her touchstone to being a decent person. He’s not a morality chain, and it’s not really a redeemed-through-love thing, just This Is A Solid Dude who doesn't pity her or thinks she's irredeemable (however you choose to define such a thing), but actually relates to the kind of conditions living like that can involve, and just kind of...

I don’t know. I think Rex's arc in this AU could be very heavily grounded in something to the effect of "You're not the worst darksider I've met. You're not the only person who was in a cult. You're not even the only former Jedi I know that's committed awful, horrible crimes. My question is just this: What are you going to do moving forward?"

Later Anakin: Wait, who do we know that was in a cult? Rex: What did you think Kamino was?

(Rex isn't as chill as he'd like her to think, but he's trying, and she's fairly reliant on the Force to understand emotions, and is currently in nullifying cuffs, so he can bluff.)

Komari needs someone solid and dependable to rely on for at least conversation, and I think Rex needs to feel needed.

I’m not sure if it’d be romance or friendship, but I think there's a solid basis to work with, potentially.

Per Tia:

One thing about Rex and shipping is like. If you want to do Rexwalker again that's fine, but if you're worried about repetitiveness but still want to like. Ship him in a non-political-convenience way. Rexsoka here actually would be different than your other stuff.

I'm trying to figure out if I can make it work because Ahsoka thematically fits very much into a little sister shaped hole here? She feels younger than in other works, despite not actually being younger than she is in, say, Commander Buir. In those other fics, she has some time alone to function and prove herself independently of Anakin and Obi-Wan.

I usually pluck Ahsoka out at sixteen if I'm pulling her from TCW, so she's got most of her competence but hasn't gotten quite all the trauma yet. Commander Buir, in particular, also has baby-shaped Anakin for contrast.

That said, I can see a decent source of narrative conflict in her wanting to experiment with romance and all that, and Anakin trying to tell her she's too young.

A year into this whole time-travel mess, she wants to give the dating thing a shot, and it spirals into "You were only two years older than me when you got married!"

I think I could build a plot out of Ahsoka wanting to do these things, and Anakin as an audience insert not quite processing that she's old enough to make these decisions. If she's choosing to date Rex, whose age works out as being close to hers when one takes into account Kamino fuckery, and whom she trusts absolutely, it’s arguably extra weird for Anakin to be upset with it.

"Senator Amidala was five years older than you, and you married her when you were nineteen and had only really known her for a week! I can go on a date with a guy we both know is one of the most trustworthy people alive if I want, Skyguy!"

I can definitely see Ahsoka getting annoyed with Anakin being overbearing and controlling at some point before that unrelated to romance, too. It’s not exactly a new fault of his.

My god, just imagine someone snidely asking Anakin "where's your little shadow?" and Anakin, being Himself and also a Fake Sith, has an emotional breakdown about how Ahsoka yelled at him for micromanaging her and not trusting her to make her own decisions in life and so she got herself a multi-month solo mission from Ben that Anakin isn't allowed to know any details about, and--

It's another one of those "oh, you have PROBLEMS problems with your mental health" incidents for the Jedi to add to the file, because Anakin having emotionally charged rants about his issues at seemingly terrible times is how they get a lot of information.

Some of the rants are planned.

Many of them, actually.

They want the Jedi to know these things.

Just, well. Anakin.

He really is a little Like That.

On that note, I'm low-key imagining that Anakin gets put on mood stabilizers by the therapist in this context, and he's doing good! He's handling his issues! He's--been captured with Obi-Wan the Younger again and his medication was confiscated.

Anakin is... not great. He's a little out of practice managing his unmedicated self, and when adding withdrawal symptoms onto that... poor Anakin.

(Poor Obi-Wan.)

I think it would be best if Anakin makes a bunch of ominous blustery comments at their captors about how they won't like what's coming to them if they take his belongings (AKA the fanny pack that has his backup pills), and then Obi-Wan just gets to watch Anakin get more and more erratic, because like. Yes, Anakin is using the Force to compensate, but unfortunately he's mostly cut off, and the stress of the situation is pushing him away from depression and into the beginnings of a manic episode.

Anakin is aware of his issues to the point where he's mostly managing, and he keeps asking Obi-Wan "would it make sense for me to [slightly deranged, very impulsive action]," and Obi-Wan realizes he's being the morality sounding board for the Hot Sith because ??? reasons?????

Eventually, Anakin does flop back in bed and dramatically throws his arm over his eyes, and says he needs his meds back, he's absolutely going to lose it, and Obi-Wan tentatively asks what kind of medication. There are levels to worry about. Mild allergy medication is one thing, but heart medication that needs to be taken every four hours is another, you know? He wants to know how much panic is appropriate.

Anakin lets him know that it's Psychiatric In Nature. Obi-Wan suddenly realizes that he really, really, really doesn't want to know what a properly erratic, unmedicated Anakin is like.

(An unmedicated Anakin really isn't nearly as bad as Obi-Wan fears. Anakin's been dealing with this for a while, and knows what his issues are and some of how to deal with them. He'd need to be running on no sleep and higher levels of stress, or to have been drugged with something meant to increase his aggression, to really lose his shit and do something worthy of Vader. RotS levels of stress and sleep deprivation is required to pull RotS levels of manic paranoid delusion.)

Tia asked:

How long does it take the Jedi in general to catch on to how like. They have opportunities. But these Sith never seem to harm any Jedi. And it’s not just like, the past timeline parts of the disaster lineage. They probably get opportunities to hurt other Jedi. Ones that are less skilled at saber work. And more importantly ones that they don’t seem weirdly interested in."

I'm not sure, really. The Jedi don't spend as much time in the Outer Rim as they could, and that's where the Team operates, so actually running into them by accident is unlikely for anyone other than Shadows.

Fortunately, it's really easy to toy with Shadows with the excuse of "I want to see how long it takes before you Fall with us."

I do want like... okay. Here’s the mental image:

Qui-Gon calls them out on being Fake Sith pretty quickly, so Ben just sort of eyes him, dramatically, and orders out "Leave us" to all non-team people. The threat of torture is implied but not stated. He gestures with wine to keep in character. He definitely makes sure Young Obi-Wan is ushered out, so it's just five time travelers, Qui-Gon Jinn, and Ahsoka's immortal force birb.

"...so, what's the reason for the farce, Obi-Wan?" "How in all the hells did you figure it out so quickly?"

(Qui-Gon cheated a bit. He could feel the broken training bond that was never properly severed due to Traumatic Death Of A Master on Ben's end)

Ben didn't realize he'd feel it! Young Obi-Wan can't feel his older self or a training bond with Anakin or Ahsoka, so why could Qui-Gon?

IDK if there would be anything on the level of crying and hugging it out, but I think it would be very funny if, every time young Obi and Anakin are getting captured by pirates or something, Ben and Qui-Gon are just having a nice afternoon tea and checking their watches to see if their respective walking bundles of neuroses are done with their adventure yet.

The Council is So Done, because Qui-Gon continues to insist that they're Not That Bad, but every time anyone other than Qui-Gon brings up the friendship, Ben laughs and makes a comment about how absolutely gullible Master Jinn is.

Obi-Wan is skeptical of his own experiences with Anakin, at least, if only because he's skeptical about Anakin's everything.

"I don't know if Vader is telling me the truth. I don't know if he's telling himself the truth. I don't think he's a great source of information even when he thinks he's being honest."

Anakin could tell Obi-Wan the full and complete truth, and Obi-Wan would worriedly put a hand to his forehead and start doing tests for hallucinations and paranoid delusions. In his defense, this is a very reasonable assumption to make with an individual like Anakin. It's just also not accurate, this time. I don’t know if Anakin hallucinates in canon without a weird inciting incident like Force Nonsense or getting drugged by the enemy, but paranoid delusion is pretty much all of RotS.

"I’m your time-traveling padawan who’s pretending to be a Sith to catch some other Sith who’re going to start a galactic civil war and those Mandalorians you like are from a clone army based on a template of Jango Fett made to serve the Jedi (because that’s totally something he’d sign up for), and one of the Sith is your grandmaster but he doesn’t seem to have fallen yet, it’s probably fine," is hard to believe.

Honestly, even if he seemed stable before saying that, which he doesn’t, it’s all real far fetched. There's a lot going on and Obi-Wan wouldn't even begin to believe it without evidence.

I've had it in my head that he and Bant and Quinlan have been gossiping about the mess for months if not years about these idiots, and at one point it became common knowledge that Ben was a Kenobi, and Bant convinced them (since the two were among the most likely in the entire Order to encounter the Fake Sith) to get a DNA sample, probably hair or blood since that's easiest so they can figure out HOW these two are related, if they are, and then there's a whole big thing.

Bant: No, no, this must be contaminated, it's coming up as Obi-Wan! Are you sure you didn't accidentally grab some of your own hairs? I know it's a little long for most of your hair, but the braid-- Quinlan: Wait, they keep claiming stuff about cloning, right? Maybe someone's a clone? Check for artificial telomeres! Bant: ...okay, so, there aren't any artificial telomeres, but the ones from apparently-Ben are... a lot shorter... um... I don't know what to do with this. It's like I have two samples from the same person, twenty years apart. Quinlan: Obi-Wan, what's that face? Why are you-- Obi-Wan: Vader told me he was a time-traveler. I thought it was the fever talking, but...

That’s how he finds out that Ben is future-him before finding out about how he’s not evil!

"Master Jinn... I think... I think the Sith controlling the Outer Rim is me from the future." "Oh, you finally figured it out?" "I AM HAVING A CRISIS HERE."

Obi-Wan, after a few hours of dazed realization, runs screaming to Quinlan and Bant like 'GUYS GUYS THIS EXPLAINS WHY VADER KEPT SAYING IT WAS WEIRD AND THAT I LOOK LIKE HIS MASTER AND THAT IT WOULD BE LIKE DATING HIS DAD.'

You know, the important stuff.

I think Qui-Gon tells him that Ben isn't evil because, like, That Sure Is A Crisis Obi-Wan's Having. He could hold off for shits and giggles, sure, but Obi-Wan’s on the edge of something Really Concerning, mentally. Best help calm him down on at least one or two things.

Obi-Wan’s maybe still a little skeptical until he confronts them over it. Because their Sith act was real good and also like. Maybe Qui-Gon just wants to believe the best of his Padawan, y’know?

Quinlan runs into Ben before Obi-Wan does, after this whole mess, and gets to observe as money changes hands and people act like sore winners about bets made for When Does Obi-Wan Figure It Out.

Anakin was saying 'soon' because he really didn't think the fever-fueled rant would be discounted as easily as it was.

Cody was of the opinion that it would take at least a few more years since they're actually pretty damn good at this whole schtick.

Quinlan: Wow, he's... going to be really disappointed that you have such a low opinion of his intelligence. Cody, gesturing at Ben: Experience. Darth Ben: ಠ_ಠ

Cody just rattles off some of the Extremely Stupid Shit that Ben's done in their time working together.

Rex cheerily offers up "You didn't even realize General Skywalker was married, sir! And they weren't subtle!" "I knew they were together, I just didn--" "Everyone knew they were together, sir. Everyone."

(Rex had the lowest opinion of their deductive capabilities. He claims it would have taken until Baby Ahsoka showed up at the Jedi Temple.)

-Once Obi-Wan accepts that they're decent people after all- Obi-Wan: Wow, Anakin, you're real good at acting unhinged! Anakin: Haha. Yeah. Thanks?

[starlightkenobi]

can i get a master anakin x Padawan reader and maybe the sexual tension between them has been growing and then he finally snaps he’s like 🥺 dominant and reader has a praise kink 🥺

😩💦💦💦 hell yes, dom anakin is my SHIT ! and praise kink ? fuck. me.

a/n: im actually really proud of this and i like it a lot,,,,if yall like this maybe ill go feral and make part two 🤫😉

update: i made a part 2 ! here it is :)

My Padawan // Anakin x Reader (Part 1)

rating: explicit

warnings: dom anakin, prasie kink, some subspace although it isnt explicitly mentioned

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Anakin Skywalker. Your master, the guy you were madly in love with, the only person that you felt truly saw you. He consumed your thoughts 24/7. Some of your thoughts were innocent, while others...not so much. You were in a constant turmoil over whether you wanted his mouth to softly press against yours or to devour you in between your legs. Right now, both seemed like appealing options. You wanted to be with him, wanted to really show him how much you care for and appreciate him. However, you were unsure if he was willing to break the Jedi code for you. Maybe, you thought, you would have a chance with with him in another universe. But here, you were bound by a code both you and your crush swore not to break. Even still, you longed for Anakin in any way you could have him. You longed for him to take you, to decide what he wants to do with your body. You wanted him to absolutely destroy you and then shower you with love afterwards. How could breaking the code be so bad anyways if-

“Hello?” Your head snapped up as you were dragged from your thoughts. “I was trying to compliment you, and here you are off in a different galaxy.” Your eyes cautiously met his, apologetic and embarrassed.

“Sorry, master. You know how I can get lost in my head sometimes.” You chuckled awkwardly, hoping he couldn’t sense how desperately you were craving him right now.

“Yeah, I know all too well.” Anakin laughed and your heart practically melted. His laughter was intoxicating, and his smile could change your mood in an instant. Damn, he’s so beautiful-

“Hey!” Anakin snapped his fingers. “Don’t let me lose you again. Anyways, what I was trying to say is that you did really well today and I’m very proud of you.” You smiled and blushed.

“Thank you, master.”

“I know this mission has been very tedious and hard on you, but you’ve really impressed me with how well you’ve handled it.” You felt the heat rise in your cheeks even more somehow, and you cleared your throat. His praise would have been endearing, had it not been for the arousal stirring between your legs. You crossed them uncomfortably.

“T-thank you, master. It really was nothin-”

“I’m serious. You’ve become such a beautiful person, and I couldn’t be more proud of what you’ve accomplished. You’re going to make an incredible Jedi master someday, far better than I could ever be.” Anakin smiled genuinely, and reached out to grab your hand.

Your mouth was open slightly in shock. You had no idea how to respond or if you should just accept the compliments. The wetness you could feel gathering between your legs also wasn’t helping. “I...don’t know what to say.”

Anakin chuckled. “You don’t have to say anything.” Suddenly, Obi Wan cleared his throat from across the room, startling both of you.

“Sorry to interrupt, but I assumed that you both would like to know that we’re almost back to Coruscant.” Obi Wan looked between you and Anakin, seeing your hand held tightly in his. He gave a disapproving glare before turning on his heels and leaving the room.

You felt his grip release your hand and looked back up towards him, your eyes glassy and pleading with him, some last desperate attempt to have his hand back on yours. As much as he wanted to do much more than just hold your hand, he was bound by the code. Still, deep down you knew that he could only keep his resolve for so long. Soon enough, he was going to break.

And hopefully, soon after that, he would break you.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Again, you awoke in a sweat, desperate with your fists tangled in the sheets. You were dreaming of Anakin all over you, inside you. This wasn’t something new to you. You were used to the fragmented and constantly interrupted sleep that was plagued (or blessed...yeah, you decided to go with blessed) with vivid dreams of Anakin taking you apart piece by piece. They felt too real, too tangible to be just a dream. Maybe they were visions, you pondered. Then again, maybe that was just the hopeful side of your brain taking over. It didn’t matter right now. Either way, you were stuck, alone in your bed craving a man who took an oath to never take you.

A knock on your door startled you, and you stayed silent. Who would be knocking on your door at almost three in the morning anyways? Your question was answered soon enough.

“I know you’re awake, you know. I could here your thoughts all the way from my quarters.” Anakin spoke from the other side of your door. Well, this wasn’t ideal. He was probably referring to your dream, in fact, you were sure of it. Great, so he came to reprimand you for thoughts that you not only couldn’t control, but were extremely embarrassed by.

“If you’re going to scold me, then you can just leave.” You rolled over, prepared for the sound of his footsteps getting further from your door.

“Why would I do that? You’d much rather that I praise you, isn’t that right?” Your breath caught in your throat. Scolding is one thing, but mocking you? That was just downright cruel. “I’m not mocking you, little one.” Your walls shot up, immediately guarding him from what was in your mind. In your half asleep state, they were down. Clearly that was a mistake. On another note, Anakin wasn’t mocking you. That was a surprise.

“I’m coming in.” You sat up in your bed and saw the door swing open almost impatiently, his pale skin shone in the moonlight, and you were sure yours did as well considering the sheen of sweat you were still in. His eyes sparkled with adoration or lust, you weren’t quite sure, as he made strides to sit beside you on the bed. You waited patiently for him to say something or make a move. He appeared to be pondering his words very carefully, something that he didn’t often do.

“I can sense your fear.” He brought one of his hands to rest on your thigh, a thin sheet preventing you from feeling his large hand on your skin. “Fear of what will happen if we break the code, if the council finds out.” A short, dry laugh escaped his lips as he was clearly amused with what he was about to say. “Even fear that I didn’t want you.” Your eyes widened, maybe he really did want you. “Don’t ever think for a second that I don’t want to have every inch of you, because I do.” He could see you practically melting before him with every word that tumbled from his lips. His lips, they would feel so soft and warm pressed against yours. Your composure chipped away and it took every fiber of your being to not lunge at him and kiss him passionately.

The hand that rested on your thigh traveled to your cheek, and you leaned into his palm affectionately. The relief of skin to skin contact, it was divine. You wanted more, you craved more. You would take absolutely anything he gave you. “You’re so gorgeous, padawan. My padawan.” Before you could stop it, you moaned softly. It was a moan of relief and pure bliss. His voice, his touch, it was consuming you and you couldn’t do anything but let yourself be enveloped in the feeling.

“You like that, huh padawan? You like feeling smaller than your master.” He cooed shifting his body to position himself closer to you. “Maybe you just like being called mine. Because you are. You are mine in every sense of the word. Your mind, your body, everything you are working for and everything you have been taught belongs to me.” You were slipping, deep into a head space that you couldn’t escape. You wanted to give him everything you had just so that he could take care of you. You craved that feeling of belonging to him and only him. “In the same regard, I belong to you, my padawan. As your master, it is my duty to guide you, give you everything you need.” Anakin’s breath fanned over your lips and you shuddered, opening your eyes to see him inches from your face. “Do you need me, my padawan?” You nodded, too dazed and entranced to form words. “Use your words, little one. I want to hear you say it.”

“I need you, master.” You mumbled, eyes half shut with lust.

“Good girl.” His lips crashed against yours.

[americankimchi]

ok and I GET the concept of attachments leading to vulnerability and therefore weakness but to impose that on a CHILD who so desperately needs a family, someone he could bond with, its honestly tragic. and since qui gon isnt there to do it anymore it falls on obi wan, whos basically a kid himself, whos dealt with rejection his whole life, and how can you expect him to provide anything, much less mentor a padawan?? idk i just have so many FEELINGS abt this and can’t put it into proper words lol

okay you know what i think that’s on qui gon because why!!! would you make the decision to rip a child away from his home like that so quickly!!! i get that they were making a movie and thus needed to speed things along for pacing reasons but COME ONNNNN

i feel like if it wasn’t restricted for movie reasons it would have gone down very differently. difference being: hey, maybe we don’t rip anakin away from his mom and leave not only his mom still in slavery but also punt a tiny child directly into a warzone.

hear me out

so assuming qui gon decides not to take anakin with him (at that moment in time because anakin is still going to be heading to the order just in a more meticulous fashion) right after meeting the skywalkers on tattooine, he still needs to get off planet. so he does the whole race thing yadda yadda he gets the engine and they take off

so here’s where it diverges: anakin stays on tattooine and never goes to naboo.

(bro this got so long i had to put it under a cut omfg)

but cindy!! you might say, leaving anakin on tattoine??? stuck in slavery??? how could you!!!

YES, but this is a temporary thing, just stay with me for a second

padme disagrees but relents because qui gon says he’ll come back for the boy when he’s not, you know, neck deep in the middle of tense wartime negotiations that could trigger a full scale onslaught at any moment. that’s no place to bring a small child into no matter how powerful in the force he is.

qui gon heads back to the council, gives his report, and then mentions anakin. mentions his fuckin. midichlorian count. which is still so ridiculous to me oh my god the midichlorian is the powerhouse of the force i GUESS

anyways

the council still disapproves, but qui gon makes the case that even if they don’t believe him about the chosen one thing it’s still dangerous to leave such a powerful force user out there untrained and vulnerable to the stresses and traumas of slavery. what if he turns to the dark side??? he’ll have ample reasons to if he’s stuck there, and the amount of destruction he could unleash by being untrained and powerful is unspeakable!! qui gon, being the master diplomat he is, even if he is constantly butting heads with the council, could probably convince them of the importance of at least meeting the child. hell, it’s not as if they haven’t broken people free from slavery before it’s honestly jedi basic training at this point

so the council agrees on the condition that qui gon is not allowed to personally mentor the boy because as it stands now he’s too close to the situation, too eager which honestly??? might have been a good chunk of the reason why the council was so against it in the first place. qui gon pushed for it too hard and for no real solid reason. and for fuck’s sake qui gon your padawan is right there

obi wan, awkwardly shuffling on his feet like..... yeah i’m here too master

SPEAKING OF OBI WAN

imagine how gutting it must be to hear that your master wants to get rid of you for the newer, younger model. like at this point obi wan is so used to this shit. abandonment? by qui gon??? it’s more likely than you think,

and obi wan’s ALLL ready to be like “yeah okay. i’ll just. go over here then i guess. fuck me for thinking that you respected me as a person or anything lmao right”

and qui gon’s just “ah fuck. i can’t believe i’ve done this”

anyways hand waves qui gon explaining his reasoning to obi wan and saying that he just wants to ensure that the boy gets the training he needs and obi wan understanding but asking if he really thinks he’s ready to be a knight genuinely or if he’s just saying that to get him out of the way and wow that thought actually hurt a bit lol!!! no problem though qui gon whatever you want haha i’ll just... be in pain. over here. ((:

and qui gon being like, “honestly obi wan the only reason you’re not actually knighted is because i cherish your companionship and i don’t want to let you go” because ANAKIN ISN’T THE ONLY ONE WITH ATTACHMENT ISSUES CASE IN POINT: MY MANS JINN

let’s be honest obi wan could’ve been knighted ages ago. the only reason he hasn’t been is because the master dictates when that step should be taken and qui gon wasn’t ready to let his surrogate son go.

anyways RECONCILIATION WHOO kicks that insecurity off of obi wan’s already weary shoulders because that gnarly bit of tension could’ve been avoided so easily with just a simple conversation!! wow!!! communication can do wondrous things who! would! have! known!!!!!

anyways

they get to naboo. how do they beat the trade federation without anakin? the force works in mysterious ways alright it happens they win boom.

now, onto qui gon. in this au qui gon lives because of that healthy bit of communication up there that went down. see that conversation? where they affirm how important they (qui gon and obi wan) are to each other? and how that bond was repaired and confirmed between their leaving coruscant and fighting maul on naboo and thus their harmonious fighting wasn’t impaired by that underlying resentment and betrayal and tension??? TELLING YOUR KIDS THAT YOU LOVE AND RESPECT THEM CAN DO AMAZING THINGS WITH YOUR ABILITY TO COORDINATE WITH THEM IN THE FIELD IMAGINE THAT

coughs

so they fight maul and maul gets turned into maul 1 and maul 2 and qui gon almost gets got but is saved just in time by his padawan who is!! right there with him!!! because qui gon WAITS 5 SECONDS FOR HIM TO CATCH UP so they can F I G H T  T O G E T H E R. qui gon has a permanent limp and an ache in his spine that never really goes away but he’s ALIVE TO SEE THE NEXT SUNRISE BABEY

celebrations happen. and the most important bit of all here: palpatine never meets anakin on naboo.

why would he? anakin’s not fuckin there mate!!! maul wouldn’t even know anything about anakin because qui gon never bothered to take him with them to coruscant and maul was chasing the delegation from naboo, not going hunting for babies in the tatooinian sands

/kicks the palpatine was anakin’s experimental force daddy theory to the curb because. i don’t like it that’s why. suck it dickpatine.

ANAKIN NEVER MEETS PALPATINE!! ripples in the fucking pond babey

qui gon and obi wan ask a boon of padme, that boon being “hey can you give us truly disgusting amounts of money so we can go free those delightful people we had to leave behind on tatooine due to the fact that we were on a time crunch and also ripping people away from a familiar environment without a stable plan of action to provide them a better quality of life is actually called, as the professionals say, a dick move.”

and padme’s like “um fuck yeah here’s some cash let me know how this goes and give anakin and shmi my love”

SO OFF THEY GO TO TATOOINE TO FREE THE SKYWALKERS. shmi tags along to the temple because why wouldn’t she. she wants to see where her son is going to be going. she also pesters qui gon and obi wan constantly about the order and its philosophies and etc. etc. and subsequently gets a crash course in jedi doctrine that anakin also gets to sit in on and you know, educate himself on.

“we want you to know that being a jedi is a choice. being a jedi is a religion unto itself.” they say

“but it’s a set of philosophies that are meant to at its core help others live happy and free lives?” anakin (and shmi) ask

“that’s a very very very large generalization but i guess for the purposes of this conversation that could be seen as true. from a certain point of view,” they respond. qui gon then lets obi wan loose on his musings about the code because the code is simple, and complex in its simplicity, and how the beliefs of the jedi should be taken very seriously because it reflects their connection to the force and by extension the world around them etc. etc.

anakin makes it to the temple. anakin knows (at least a little) what it means to be a jedi. it’s not all light sabers and noble battles and fighting the good fight. it’s about sacrifice and humility and nobility and above all kindness and empathy and loving all things, great and small, and not letting your personal hatreds cloud your judgement even if it takes all your strength to do so

and most importantly to anakin: no attachments.

and that’s what anakin struggles with the most. that never changes. but this time shmi is there to explain it to him, and coming from shmi, the most important person in the world, makes it stick

“it doesn’t mean you love me less,” shmi explains. “it just means you don’t love everyone else less because you love me. it means not loving me to the exclusion of all else. it means love, but for everyone. for everything.”

and then the two jedi reaffirm that it’s a choice. it’s always about choice. you can’t be a jedi without choosing to be one, it’s not something that can be forced. either you believe in the lifestyle, or you don’t. simple as that.

“can i leave if i want to” anakin asks.

“yes. of course you can, any time.” qui gon responds.

“not sure why you would want to though, being a jedi is kind of super cool” obi wan adds, with a wink.

but anakin isn’t a jedi yet. he’s not even an initiate. he doesn’t want to leave his mom, not until he knows she’s safe. he wants to be a jedi he burns with the need to be a jedi, but he’s not sure if he can be a jedi. not the way that was explained to him anyways. but that’s okay because he has the time to decide!!! there are no sith lords breathing down his neck!!! he has two (2) in the flesh examples of what jedi can do, what jedi are, what they can accomplish in the world!!! most of all he has his mother there, supporting him either way!!!

maybe he does go into the order. maybe he does ultimately choose that life for himself. maybe he does manage to untangle himself from the snarls of attachment and apply himself wholeheartedly to the ways of the jedi. he might even succeed this time since palpatine has no fucking CLUE anakin’s even there!!! he’s not nine years old and freshly braided and attached at the hip to a mourning brand new knight, he’s nine years old and trying to figure out how the fuck you levitate off the ground with your legs crossed under you while his crechemates balance things onto his nose!!!

and you know what!! maybe he chooses to leave the order because it’s not for him, but this time he’s got enough stability in his life, in the way that he manages and examines his feelings, that he’s not a threat to himself and those he loves. maybe he becomes a mechanic and lives a nice, simple life with his aging mother and becomes penpals with a pretty girl from naboo. WHO KNOWWWSSS

and that’s important for anakin: knowing that it’s always a choice always his choice and that he never has to have anyone tell him who he can and cannot be because he is his own master now he has full autonomy and the jedi cannot and will not take that away from him

this got so long oh my god i just have so many THOUGHTS

qui gon taking anakin like that in tpm was such a rushed decision my man can you CHILL AND THINK

anyways,,,,, that’s all thank u for coming with me on this journey,,,,,,,

[kenmas-videogame]

Umbrella| Akaashi smau!

13. profiles / masterlist | previous |

In the mist of transferring to a new school y/n get’s dragged into being part of the volleyball team’s manager group.

“put your head on my shoulder” you hummed as you put on your coat and grabbed the umbrella that was hanging from the rack in your living room. you smiled while remembering that Akaashi had given you this umbrella a couple months ago when he walked you to the station. The umbrella was black with a blue handle and a yellow button. It was really pretty and was also very durable, many times when it rained the strong wind would hit you but the umbrella never broke.

“I’m heading out!” you informed the semi empty house hold.“hold me in your arms” you sang while locking the door. There he was akaashi was leaning on the fence while scrolling through his phone. You would have never imagined that he was capable of being so straightforward. Three months back akaashi was very timid and was also very distant, but now three months foward he was very lively and loved to laugh at everything you did.

“Akaashi!” you yelled while waving at him. He looked up from his phone, smiling at you “oh hi, you look.. amazing!” he said while rubbing the back of his neck. His eyes followed you as you walked down the steps of your home, admiring you from your head to your feet. “you look great too!”

There was a moment of silence, it wasn’t awkward silence, it was comforting. The type of silence you get when you’re at peace and relaxed. “oh, we should go!” he said while laughing. “oh you brought the umbrella I gave you! I thought you said you didn’t want it~” he teased while you both walked to the station. you took a glance at the umbrella that hanged from your wrist“I never said that! I only wanted you to take it back.. because it’s yours” you argued back. “yeah yeah..” he smiled.

The walk to the station wasn’t a long one, everything was going perfect until the station decided to close due to an accident that happened on the next town over. “wait maybe we can go through another way..” akaashi reassured you while looking at the map app on his phone. ‘fuck’ you heard him curse under his breath, it was the first time you heard him curse. It wasn’t like the guys from fukurodani weren’t fond to vulgar language, on the other hand they would curse all the time during practice.

This was different though, akaashi never saw the reason to curse, not at someone, not at something so something must have happened for him to find the need to use such language. “Is everything okay keiji?” you asked. he gasped while looking at you, he looked back at his phone while smiling as if he wasn’t just mad a couple seconds ago. “keiji huh?~ guess we’re on first names basis now.” he teased. “you always called me by my first name–“

“you’re right, It’s just that your last name was similar to someone I know and it was weird.. I apologize”

“Don’t apologize!”

“No, I have to. The roads are closed, the station is closed and it wont open for another hour or so.. I’m sorry..”

Akaashi bowed in a 90 degree angle while bystanders watched. you started to panic while you nervously laughed “hey hey! you don’t have to.. listen we can go to my favorite cafe! it’s near my home and then we can go the park!” you reassured him while patting him on his back. “are you sure?”

“yes!”

So then you guys walked to your favorite cafe, he ended up paying for your meal and also bought you dessert.

“oh look it’s a pair of swings!!” you told akaashi who was now holding the umbrella. “let’s go on them!”

you and him raced to the swings, the night was perfect, he was perfect. “look y/n, there’s some fireflies..” he said while pointing at the bugs that surrounded the swings. The night went great, by now it was 11pm and akaashi was trying to find a way to get home. “I’ll order you a taxi!” you said while taking out your wallet. “you don’t have to! I’ll walk home.. I mean after all my home is around an hour away from here.”

“That’s dangerous!”

“oh well..”

“No—“

and then it’s started to pour, you both looked at each other while laughing. The umbrella was finally going to come in handy. “well aren’t you lucky I gave you this umbrella” “shut it akaashi, it was just a coincidence.” you argued back. “so you’ll take the taxi now..?” “fine.”

you both started to walk back to your home, the thing the umbrella was resistant against was the thing that ended up destroying it. Akaashi’s your umbrella had broken, and it was being dragged away by the wind. Both you and akaashi chased after it, getting drenched by the raging drops of rain that covered the city.

“look it broke, our umbrella broke..” he replied whil picking up the heavily damaged umbrella.

“our umbrella?”

“yeah, Hmmh..” you laughed at his silliness while you took it away.

“well it’s time to say bye to your umbrella..” you said while walking towards the trash can that stood in the middle of the sidewalk.

“no, let me keep it..” he responded while tugging it in his direction.

“why?”

“because it’s ours..”

“what?”

“ours.”

“but it’s yours—“

and then everything happened fast, you don’t know what happened all you knew was that you could feel butterflies and you could see the sparks. Your vision was blurry, ans your thoughts were fuzzy. Nothing was there at that moment. It was just him, the rain, and you. you were both the stars of the cliché movie that played in theaters.

a kiss in the rain

“go out with me...please.”

rain

tag list; @krxstynnn @manq-fandoms @zoppzoop @shinsvu-talks @svtbitch @miigoth @mikkasquare @therealwalmartjesus @wpspl-dda @pinkdohnuts @shi-dripdrop @bobothecircusclownn @kasandrafaye @schrodingersships @taylordenae @alexa360b4st @help-error @hqmakki @akaashisbih @authentictiramis @smellybananas @enchantedsoulgarden @lovnthunder @tehehaikyuu @bubbleteaa @soumynonasstuff @littleblackpheonix @watevermelon @adoring-obi-wan

—

and that’s wrap! umbrella is officially over! I’m currently thinking about doing a kageyama smau! but right now that is in the drafts! Thank you all for supporting this smau that started off as something that i thought of while it rained.

[twilightofthe]

What was your opinion of the Clovis arc? People I know either love it or hate it, no in between. I generally liked it but found it waayyy ooc.

Hey anon, thanks for the ask!!!!

AHSJFLSLALK OK SO UH. Wow. Clovis arc. Yiiiiiiikes ok so. I totally agree with you on the fandom divide and I also totally agree that everyone involved in it is rather OOC for my taste. That being said, that case of OOC is exactly why I personally do not like the arc that much at all.

(Please note that my following words are MY PERSONAL OPINIONS, and that anyone is free to disagree, in fact I welcome the discussion, and even if this is your favorite arc, please consider yourself welcome on my blog I hold nothing against those who might like it)

Part of me was gonna make a short and sweet point about how I don’t like that TCW has had both of its main female characters have unwanted kisses forced on them, and instead of teaching young girls watching to tell those kinds of people to fuck off and respect their bodies, we get: 1. Just let it happen, you both must kinda like each other anyway or 2. Stay still then sit back while your boyfriend beats him half to death

But actually turns out I wanted to spend all day writing an essay so now you get this. So far I’m gonna hit four points:

the show’s constant need for Vader foreshadowing sometimes tending to completely override Anakin’s current mindset and personality he should have at this point in the timeline as well as his preestablished characterization

the way TCW gave Anakin a giant dosage of toxic masculinity to try and please the pissy movie critics who didn’t like that he cried

the role of Padmé and how TCW tries to portray her as a “strong woman” by just having her constantly be irritated by and sometimes even look like she actively dislikes her husband while simultaneously have her act OOC so they can blame HER and her actions for Anakin’s reactions and anger and overall Fall

How I think this arc is not irredeemable and that with some fixes it could be done decently— decently, not well, because a lot of this arc’s problems are also due to preexisting writing choices throughout the show

(Ok whoops this turned into a half Clovis arc rant half entire TCW Anidala commentary)

So firstly I wanna start that yes, I am fully aware that TCW is meant to fill in the gaps between AOTC and ROTS and help explain why Anakin’s mindset in the final movie is what it is and justify his Fall. Of course we need to show some Vader foreshadowing throughout the series, and in some places it is executed very well, notably the Mortis arc, the Bad Batch arc, the Wrong Jedi arc, as well as others that I can’t cite off the top of my head currently because I might have a mild touch of heat exhaustion wooo I need to get off the beach.

But it also has some rather hamfisted Vader foreshadowing stuff too. Like, y’all know the fandom joke where it’s like “Anakin: *Accidentally Leaves The Toilet Seat Up*. The Background Music: *BLASTS the Imperial March*” but like, they actually really do that. Like the time where they have Anakin take out a terrorist about to blow up an entire ship full of people and then play the Imperial March afterwards and imply he’s a “cold-blooded killer” just to defend the moral purity of the two people who were gonna stand there and let the ship blow in the name of idealism.

I’m getting off topic but yeah, sometimes the show’s Vader foreshadowing makes sense, sometimes it’s pretty forced, and the Clovis arc DEFINITELY leans towards the forced side, and when they try to force more of Darth Vader into Anakin at a point where he shouldn’t quite be there yet, it screws with his entire character.

This is particularly shown in the majority of the show’s takes on Anakin’s relationship with Padmé. Namely, they tend to forget nearly the entirety of AOTC with the exception of the Tusken murder scene, then forget even more of ROTS up until the point where Anakin strangles her on Mustafar. Basically, they take the truth that it was Anakin’s unhealthy attachment to Padmé that sparked his Fall, but then they decide to run with it where almost every single interaction he has with her in the damn show is him being a toxic overbearing dick to her and her acting like she mildly tolerates him at most and definitely doesnt respect him as like, I guess a way of showing what happened on Mustafar is in character for them???? Ugh, I’ll explain further.

So with Anakin’s aggressive possessiveness towards her. We know Anakin has possession and attachment issues. We know he’s a clingy needy whiny anxious mess who’s constantly afraid of losing or driving away the few people he has pinned his entire happiness on. We know he leans unhealthily on Padmé to provide the majority of his emotional support. We know he’s convinced himself he can’t live without her. But never, NEVER is it seen in the movies where his possessiveness turns into outward aggression towards her or this douchey pushiness. Never does he treat her like his property, like she belongs to him.

Not until Mustafar.

Not until he’s raving, half out of his mind with the warring emotions over the atrocities he’s just committed, until he’s begging her to understand where he was coming from, begging her and the child to stay with him and justify his decision, until he sees Obi Wan and sees her backing away from him, leaving him, and he PANICS because oh no no no you can’t abandon me, I need you, doN’T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME. And he lashes out and tries to force her to stay, punish her for leaving and doubting him, and he puts that hand around her throat.

And that is supposed to be when we know he’s crossed the line, when we’re supposed to be horrified, where we know he’s lost himself, because he has NEVER ACTED LIKE THAT BEFORE.

Now how does Anakin act before? In the movies? He’s deferential to Padmé in almost every other scene they’re in together.

In AOTC, yeah he stares at her a bit creepily from a distance, he says awkward things and does goofy stuff to impress her, but he does Not get in her face. The few times he does invade her space, she flat out tells him: stand back. Don’t look at me like that. Don’t say that. Don’t interrupt me. And Anakin always, always backs off, respects her wishes. He follows her lead and lets her call the shots both on Naboo when he’s supposed to be protecting her and when she organizes the Geonosis rescue and once they arrive where she flat out tells him “I’m a Senator, I’ll handle this, just back me up”, and he’s all but just “ok yes queen”.

But they aren’t married then. Fine, take ROTS. It’s a movie all about Anakin’s issues but even then, when he’s worried about Padmé dying, he tells her he’s worried and that he can’t lose her, but he still keeps a distance. He doesn’t constantly hover and loom over her. If anything, Padmé, both in ROTS and AOTC is always the one to approach Anakin and close the distance when there’s conflict. When Anakin is upset, he averts his eyes and distances himself, tries to draw in on himself and brood silently, and we’ve seen it in Palpatine sometimes (of course with bad motives but he still does), but Obi Wan and Padmé both especially needing to be the ones to come over, turn his face to them and be like “hey, look at me, I care about you, what’s wrong”. Padmé SAYS in ROTS when he’s feeling specifically conflicted about losing Padmé, “don’t shut me out” and has to come over to him because he’s retreated into a corner of the room to scowl angstily out the window. Anakin does NOT get overbearing and possessive of her or get in her face, not once in the films.

In the fucking show? The Clovis arc, while perhaps the worst offender, isn’t even close to being the first time Anakin has been overly pushy and aggressive with Padmé, or acting like she’s something he owns, From that time in the Senate Hostage ep where he’s bugging her about ditching work and all but acting like incels texting like “awww but babe my dick hurts :(”, from the FIRST Clovis disaster ep where he’s childishly trying to screw up Padmé’s mission, to the Clovis arc in season 6

And this is where they just roll right in with their “oh so Anakin’s an overbearing, entitled douche” bit with the interaction he has with Pads and he’s trying to talk her out of taking the Clovis assignment and he says something along the lines of “as your husband, I demand you don’t do this”.

Hwat. The Fuck.

What kind of caveman-esque, 1800’s-ass man of the house whom my wife must obediently serve kinda entitled-ass BULLSHIT?!?!?!?

Like, I’m sorry, I really am, but that is just completely out of left field and not like Anakin at all. I mean to the point that when he’s an evil Sith Lord trying to talk her into taking over the galaxy with him, EVEN THEN he does not include “Padmé you must join me because I’m your husband and you do as I say” sort of domineering assholerly.

Anakin does not push Padmé around. He does not TRY to assert authority over her or try and force her to do shit. Not only because she doesn’t put up with that kinda shit for a second, but because Anakin respects Padmé; he will treat her with respect. He always has, and sometimes like in this arc it really doesn’t feel like he does.

Now of course Padmé’s response to the “I own you” declaration is “fuck you, asshole, I do what I want” and doubling down on her decision, and then decides to go even harder on the mission if only to spite her douche husband (and we’ll get to Padmé’s characterization in a bit) which is a very different kind of Anidala conversation we see in the show as opposed to the movies (also discussed later).

Now, the reason for Anakin’s overbearing douchery ties directly into an overarching problem in TCW— honestly, one of the very few issues I have with this show, but the problem is that it touches nearly the entire thing —and that is they almost completely reworked Anakin’s personality to be more hyper-masculine alpha male.

This is a topic I’ve discussed on my blog before, but the gist is that in the movies, Anakin was not the typical male heroic protagonist and DEFINITELY not what people expected from Future Darth Vader The Masked Brutish Male Power Fantasy. He was awkward, he was shy, he was soft spoken, he was clumsy around the girl he liked, he was very openly romantic, he liked frolicking in fields and candlelit dinners and snuggling. Two of the most important people in his life were soft, feminine women and he openly loved them very dearly and very gently— and he deferred to them when he felt it was right, as I’ve mentioned before. He CRIED when he was upset and was messy and emotional. And fanboys hated this with a burning passion. They couldn’t project their power fantasy onto this!!!! The Anakin critics were a HUGE part of the mob who crucified the prequels to the point of chasing both Anakin actors practically out of the movie industry in general.

The Clone Wars writers were obviously petrified of this happening again. So their solution, as has always been Star Wars’s solution to hateful fans being upset about an innocent character, is to completely rework them, hide or retcon all the undesirable qualities, and act like everything was all fixed. Now don’t get me wrong, there are aspects of TCW Anakin that I adore. As I’ve also mentioned before, they got his humor, his cleverness, his eagerness to do the right thing, to help people, his relationship with Obi Wan and Ahsoka and his men, they got that all perfectly. But the rest??? TCW’s solution to the criticism of Movie!Anakin was to turn him into an agressive, dominant, violent shadow of everything “soft” he was in the movie

Now, he speaks loudly and more deeply. Now, he’s cocky and overconfident and while yes he was arrogant in the movies, now it’s dialed up to like an 11. He never cries, never even THINKS to show a negative emotion that’s not Manly Rage And Aggression(TM). And then there’s the way he is around the women in his life. No more awkwardness or shyness, now he makes jokes about being a “ladies man” and does whatever the fuck flirting he does with Miraj Scintel even though the Anakin from the movies would have needed like every scrap of his self control just to look at her without insta-murdering her face. And then there’s how he is with Ahsoka and Padmé. He is muuuuch more of a loud brash dudebro around them who pushes his weight and is kind of controlling and their solution is just to have the both of them be Strong Women(TM) who Fight Back whenever he tries it too hard with them.

With Ahsoka, it’s not too bad because it’s a brand new dynamic and she’s a rather agressive firecracker personality herself when we first meet her, so the constant Snips n’ Skyguy snipefest works for them. For Padmé? It just means that in far too many episodes they’re in there’s a point where Anakin says something Eh and Padmé gets mildly irritated to actually annoyed with him for it and she’ll talk down to him and then there’s an argument between them because he’s bullheaded and she’s a Strong Woman. Why do I consider these out of character?

In the movies, despite the flaws, Anidala is a couple who actually tries to communicate. Anakin feels open to speak about his troubles to Padmé and her to him (for the most part, she definitely has a savior complex and a tendency to squash her own shit so she can help deal with both Anakin’s and the galaxy’s at large) when they’re worried or concerned about something and they want to talk it out, so they’ll talk it out!

The problem with Anidala isn’t that they don’t communicate, it’s that they try but also only do it by halves because they hate fighting. They’ll talk, Anakin will say something that Padmé might disagree with— the fascism discussion in the Naboo field in AOTC, the question of whether the Republic is just or not in TPM —and she’ll try and correct him if she feels he’ll listen, but if he doubles down, she’ll go “ok you know what, agree to disagree, let’s not fight” and she subtly changes the subject because she hates fighting with him. If Pads says something Ani doesn’t like— telling Obi Wan about them in ROTS, some emotional advice she tries to give in both movies —he’ll flat out shut down and be like “I don’t want to talk about this, let’s drop it” and then seek out cuddles or affection as a distraction.

And that brings us back to the Clovis arc. The scene where the “as your husband” line occurs. Anakin is trying to talk Padmé out of doing this not because he’s jealous. Maybe he was jealous the first time he met Clovis and saw Padmé being all cute n’ fond with her old flame, but this time it seems almost entirely because last time ended in catastrophe and he’s genuinely worried for Padmé and feels she’s not thinking wisely, that she’s putting herself in danger.

However, Anakin is deciding to voice these concerns in Possessive Dudebro Pushing because of the aforementioned misguided Vader Foreshadowing and Toxic Masculinity. Padmé? Is not even CONSIDERING what he has to say, is just breezing on through and shutting him down at every turn and generally acting like he’s a dumbass who doesn’t have a clue about anything.

Now, it is very in character for Padmé Amidala to be all “I’m right, you’re wrong, fuck you don’t get in my way”. HOWEVER, they aren’t framing this as solely Padmé having a goal and bulldozing her way through the situation. That’s not how they frame this.

They frame this as: Padmé is embarrassed that she misjudged the situation wrong the last time and embarrassed even further that Anakin had to step in and get her out of trouble— which he brings up —and probably remembers that he made fun of her while he did it—

(Timing out to say that THAT scene was also OOC; they once more wanted a Vader parallel what with Anakin’s silhouette when he opens her cell door and the way Padmé’s sleeping pose is identical to Leia’s in ANH. But Anakin basically steps in and gives her this condescending-ass “awww the little wife’s gotten in over her head like I SAID she would, good thing I’m here to rescue her!” bit that’s really just MEAN. It’s not like him and Obi Wan’s/Ahsoka’s teasing snark whenever they have to pull each out of trouble, he’s just kicking her while she’s already down. Really, Anakin’s reaction should have been a lot less humorous and a lot more pissy; she didn’t listen to him, didn’t trust him, and ended up in danger because of it. It’d be a surly and upset “I told you so”, not an amused one.)

—and now it seems much more like Padmé is solely taking this assignment to spite Anakin for being a dick and to pettily prove that she knows what she’s doing rather than any sense or urge to do the right thing. And....... childish pettiness????? Is not Padmé. And yet, she has the entire immature “don’t tell me what to DO, Anakin” attitude this whole arc that amounts to WAY more than just the normal response she would have to his overcontrolling dickishness

And once again, it’s because she, like everyone else in the episode, seems to think the problem Anakin has is that he’s jealous of Clovis. He’s not, not really. He’s insecure, yes, but he also knows Clovis is a bag of dicks as well, and trusts that Padmé knows she’s better than that. His problem isn’t fears he’ll lose Padmé, it is entirely that Padmé isn’t listening to his concerns, doesn’t trust him, is going into a situation they both know is unwise, and he is frustrated he’s not in a position where he can look out for her since he feels she’s not looking out for herself. And, he’s not entirely wrong. Padmé IS being reckless and kind of irrational solely to prove a point. He just goes about it pretty much entirely the wrong way, which is what you can really say is the cause and effect formula for any problem Anakin Skywalker encounters and subsequently makes worse.

And then there’s That Scene. The one where Clovis tries to force a kiss on Padmé and Anakin freaks and almost kills him for it. I’ll start off by quoting another Tumblr user on that very scene by saying in regards to Clovis: “that bitch deserved that”. The almost murder? Maybe not that far, but the initial hitting for disrespecting someone’s “no”? Yep, that was deserved.

My first criticism is that Anakin shouldn’t have even had time to attack him because why the fuck wasn’t Padmé instantly kneeing him in the balls?!?! Like Padmé is not prone to violence immediately, no, but she can will and does defend herself immediately when she needs to— her right punch knocked someone tf out once when she was pissed —and she already gave him a warning that his advances were not welcomed.

Now, I am absolutely not victim blaming. I am NOT saying it is the fault of a woman (I’d be a hypocrite if I did and that’s all I’ll say on THAT), or of anyone when faced with sexual harassment, if they don’t fight back for whatever reason, no matter how capable of doing so they may be. What I’m saying is that considering her previous behavior and personality and the fact that the show NEVER goes deep enough into explaining heavy stuff like why victims might freeze or NOT fight back when faced with harassment, I feel like showing her not attempting to defend herself at all is kinda strange.

Now, Padmé’s utter passiveness to the situation aside, we’re going back into toxic masculinity and misunderstood interpretations of how Anakin displays possession. While I’ll repeat that Clovis deserved consequences for the forced kiss, Anakin going full caveman defending his property jealous rage just. Doesn’t feel right to me. Again, I think Anakin would probs hit him and put the fear of living god into him, maybe even I’d buy the attempted murder if they framed it as Anakin doing it because he hates those who force their will on others and disrespect women, but the whole that’s MY wife and you’re touching her shite just once more feels alpha male aggressive ridiculousness. Like again, I understand Anakin is possessive of Padmé, but not like this. I’m sorry, but I just cannot see that, him fighting over her like she’s a scrap of meat.

Like, I completely think she’s in the right tho to put them on a break after he does it though. That’s well within her right.

But then onto the FINAL part where after Clovis goofs and fucks them all over and then dies, she forgives him and blames herself for everything and apologizes. And like, that part I do see as in canon and character for her and for Anakin. He doesn’t like to admit his mistakes, her mistakes weigh on her and when she fails to fix or save someone, she falls into depression and upset and self-blame.

But the fact that Clovis died because Anakin dropped him? Anakin Skywalker, who scaled an entire elevator shaft carrying two people over his back who combined probs weighed more than Padmé and Clovis. Anakin Skywalker, who’s used the Force to lift tons of debris, who’s used it to hold back explosions, Anakin Skywalker, MOST POWERFUL FORCE USER IN HISTORY WHO TENDS TO RELY ON BRUTE STRENGTH FOR MOST SHIT ANYWAY. That Anakin couldn’t pull two people over a ledge?!?!?!?!? This has always bothered me.

Like to be honest; I feel this entire episode could have been so fixable too. Like keep Anakin’s obsessive worry over Padmé making a mistake, keep the best part of the arc which is his talk with Obi Wan where Obi Wan tries to connect with him and explain that he’s not alone, all Jedi have emotional struggles and have loved, if perhaps he wants to TALK to someone about it, Obi Wan is here for him, like that? That’s okay!

Just ugh ffs, get rid of the nasty Anakin treating Padmé like a naughty dog who won’t obey him and the Padmé purposely acting unwisely to spite Anakin plot. Have the entire conflict be both of them being upset that the other doesn’t trust them, doesn’t believe in their advice, keep Padmé’s speech about how marriages NEED trust and compromise to survive, take all of Anakin’s aggression towards Padmé and transfer it to aggression towards Clovis, like make the conflict him menacing the guy if he hurts Padmé again just because he’s being overprotective and “if you won’t look out for yourself I will” and Anakin getting constantly checked for not being able to control his emotions, Padmé can tell him off for being overprotective instead of overaggressive and his possessiveness can instead show through him arguing that he needs to keep her safe at all costs. THAT can be the argument.

And if they want the Vader foreshadowing? Like real, in-character Vader foreshadowing??? Tbh, drop the Clovis beatdown, drop the machoness towards Padmé, and just have Anakin blatantly DROP the douchebag at the end of the episode instead of his hand slipping. Make him choose to ACTIVELY kill Clovis. Like THAT, Anakin taking the law into his own hands and deciding that he knows best and this guy is dangerous and has fucked up one too many times, there being an opportunity where there’s an chance to save Clovis when they’re alone without Pads, “be a Jedi, Padmé wouldn’t want this, do the right thing” Clovis might say, and we can see Anakin’s face considering, and then he just “Long Live The King”s him and lets him fall and die, THAT is an in-character Vader foreshadowing.

Then at the end of the episode, we can have Anakin lie to her, say Clovis slipped, say it was too late, and Padmé can believe him, thank him for trying. Then there’s the same thing where Padmé apologizes, and we can have a callback to the convo about trust and she adds that she’s sorry that she didn’t trust him, and when she says that, we zoom in on Anakin’s guilty face.

There. That’s how I’d fix these episodes

And THERE, I think I’ve complained about everything, I am SO sorry for the gigantic ass post and response, I’ll add a read more once I’m on my laptop and not on the beach on mobile.

But yeah anon, I hope that satisfies your question xD

Once again, I welcome discussion if y’all either agree with me or if you have any differing opinions, I know my takes are far from hot for several people and I’m curious to see what others think!

[dindooku]

this is crazy. it doesn’t make sense, but you don’t have time to make sense, you have questions that need answering, now.

word count: 5,759

rating: E (swearing)

The slow trance of a beep stirs you from the depths of sleep. Slowly blinking your eyes open, you take in your surroundings. That's odd, I don’t remember being in a hospital? You wonder. The rooms dark but there’s one blind open, allowing beams of lights to stream into the room in swathes. It smells odd, not like your typical hospital smell but still wreaking of a sterile nature. Twisting your head back around you notice the odd device in your right forearm. A long cable is attached and leads to a machine, which explains where the beep is coming from - it's a heart monitor. ok, so this is ok, I can just get up, discharge myself and find my way back to base. You go to get up but you’re quickly halted by the handcuffs on your left wrist.

Shit.

This isn’t ideal. You lean down, taking in a full inspection of the cuffs. They’re nothing like you’ve seen before. They’re definitely not a standard issue. Nonetheless, there’s always a floor to a system, and now you need to identify a weakness. The left linkage between each cuff has a pinhole screw gap, which looks to lead to an electrical cable. Now, your best bet is that the electrical cable controls the electro-current, and if it's broken, these should drop off - no current means no electric, no electric means no power. Easy.

Eyeing the room you look for any sharps or pins that could fit the hole. You come up short, nothing within your reach. Damn it. You glance back over at the beeping machine, wishing there was a way to stop the really annoying beeping. And then the lightbulb goes off - the idea. Maybe the needle that’s sat in your forearm would work? You eye the odd device, noting that if you remove the needle it stops the heart rate monitor and probably sounds some sort of alarm. This means you’ve got to be quick. Taking another look around the room you spot your backpack and helmet, but not your guns. Hopefully, they didn’t search the bag, meaning you should still have your backup handgun on the inner pocket, along with your ammo packs. Ok, so I have some sort of protection.

 Looking back down at your wrist, you know what you have to do. Holding your breath, you quickly pull the needle out of your forearm. Shit! That's a lot longer than I thought it’d be, fuck! Blood instantly began pouring out of your forearm but you had no time to waste. As predicted the alarm on the monitor begins going off and you know time is against you. Fiddling with the needle you yank it over to your left wrist cuff, jamming it into the pinhole and doing your damn best to sever the connection. In what feels like hours of fiddling, the cuffs finally release and you dart out of the bed, instantly rummaging through your backpack for the handgun and ammo. Without even having to think about it the gun is loaded and placed into the right thigh holster, and then the backpack is placed on your back and you’re darting to the door. Just as you’re about to swing it open you pause, hearing two very familiar voices heading closer and closer. Fucking shit balls. Turning back around you weigh up your options; it’s either the door…or the window. You scramble over the bed towards the window, ripping the blinds off their hinges so you can get a decent look. There's no handle on the window, but you gaze out just enough to see you’re about 12 feet up. Luckily, you’re on one of the lowest floors, thank god. Looking back at the door, the voices of Kenobi and Anakin are now only moments away. Knowing you have no other choice, you take the gun in your right hand and aim it at the glass, using your left hand to form an L shape at the barrel and opening your palm to stop shards from heading to your face as you turn away. You pull the trigger, and the glass instantly shatters. Just as you open your eyes, the door swings open and Obi-Wan is staring straight back at you. It’s now or never. He slowly shakes his head as if to say don’t try it. But without hesitation, you pout a quick kiss as you chuck a salute to Obi-Wan and jump out of the window.

Okay, maybe you’d underestimated how high up you were. This one is gonna hurt.

You land on the balls of your feet, instantly rolling to try and cushion the landing - it helped a little but you’re still winded. Heaving for some air you roll over onto your back, slanting slightly due to your backpack. You have definitely broken a rib or two, the familiar tight pinch in your chest reminding you of the countless times you’ve pulled that stupid stunt. You could afford to catch a breath or two. Or could you? Because just as you thought things might’ve started working out, Mr fucking Obi-Wan Kenobi is jumping out that very window and hurtling towards you, promptly followed by Anakin.

Oh shit, here we go again.

Rolling onto your front with a grunt, you push yourself up and start running. Darting forwards you’re quick to realize you’re within the temple from before. Ok, so if I can find the central court area I will find the exit. You manage to get a few strides in before you glance back, but you wish you didn’t because it’s not blatantly obvious that Kenobi is quicker than you, and gaining fast. Turning back around you take a few more steps before hands grab you by the waist and throw you hurtling towards the ground, which is soon followed by a chest and a grunt.

Obi-Wan had tackled you to the ground and is now pinning you to the floor, using his bodyweight to center you. But if he thinks you’re going down without a fight he’s got another thing coming.

Grabbing his wrists from your waist you yank them up above your head, catching him off guard. Next, you quickly bring your knees up to your chest, rounding your back, then instantly push up, throwing Kenobi onto his back. You keep hold of his hands and push them out wide into a T pose as you jump over, twisting and landing on his chest, pinning his shoulders with your knees. You go to use your head to head-butt him but before you have time to knock him unconscious, he’s bucking his hips up and pushing you onto your back. He scrambles back around and you quickly find that he’s now straddling your hips, using his thighs to trap you under his body. He grabs your arms and holds them back over your head. It’s only then that you both lock eyes and like before a small shiver of a spark runs rampant through your body, making you breathe hitch once again. My God, this man is so good-looking it hurts. A small bead of sweat is dripping down his forehead, mangling with the couple tendrils of misbehaving fringe which have stuck to his skin, giving a roughened, disheveled look to his form - its not un-welcomed, oh no, quite the opposite. You would quite happily gaze into his eyes for a little while longer. And somehow you get the feeling he wants to gaze at you too because he holds you there, both of you panting, not releasing you but also not wanting to let you go - and for some weird reason you don’t want him to let go either. But the moment is quickly cut short by Anakin.

“Master, I—I think you can let go now,” Anakin stumbles, his voice a mix of pants and giggles.

You’re now suddenly aware of Obi-Wan’s presence on you, and he too is now overly aware of the awkward position you’re both in. Despite this, neither of you cut the comforting glance between each of you.

“Don’t. Move.” Obi-Wan instructs. You know there’s nowhere to go now, and you’re pretty tired of running now. Maybe you can get some answers out of these two, gather your breathe and make another escape. Feeling irritated and downright pissed of, you answer back in a snarky tone.

“Yes, Master,” that earned you an interesting reaction. You noticed his pupils dilate and his breathe hitch, along with the subtle twitch of his thighs against your hips. Before you had time to benefit from his reaction he’s up and off you, and oddly you find yourself missing the touch of his presence on you.

Obi-Wan lets out an exasperated sigh as he brushes off his robes, straightening out the creases and ensuring no bits were hanging loose, then running a hand through his hair in an attempt to re-formalize his ‘master’ standing. But if you knew better you would think that he was procrastinating, trying to distract himself from what had just happened between the two of you. Grumbling, he offered a hand to you to help you up, and you begrudgingly took it, ditching your backpack on the floor. But just as you had hiked yourself up, the pinch from your ribs winds you yet again and you wince out in pain, however, you do your best to hide it. It sends a few black spots into your vision as you bend over, trying to numb the pain just a little. But Obi-Wan notices, and gently places a hand on your back, rubbing his thumb in tentative circles in an effort to ease the pain “Are…are you ok?”

“Yeah, I’ll be ok, only a few broken ribs, nothing I’ve not had before,” you wheeze out, not bothering to hide the small chuckle that follows. Taking a breath you straighten back out, and before Obi-Wan can protest, you ask — “I won’t run if you tell me what I need to know.”

“You really wanna try running with those injuries? I mean you’re covered in blood to start—” Anakin chuckles, and taking his hint you look down at your clothes, which unsurprisingly, are drenched in the blood still dripping from your wrist. That needle must’ve been in really deep… But the main source of the blood is coming from a very nasty flesh wound in your abdomen. A rather large and gruesome piece of glass is protruding from your belly, it must’ve been shrapnel from the glass window, and that explains the tinging pain from when you landed - fuck. Trust you to land on a shard of glass

“Gods — Anakin, get a medical droid or something —” Obi-Wan starts, looking around for something to tie off your wrist and abdomen to stem the outpour of blood.

“Hey, calm down, it’s fine, I’ve had worse—” you grimace, flapping your arms a bit before you reach for your backpack. It’s true, you’ve had worse. Your first tour saw you get struck by two bullets to the thigh. “I’ve got this,” you mutter as your rummage through the backpack for your first aid kit. Now wasn’t the time for hospitals or sitting around in waiting rooms, you had to get back to base. You had a small medical staple gun that’d do the trick, it was just a case of pulling the glass out which was the problem. You sat down as you pulled the first aid kit out of the bag, placing the staple gun on the floor next to you. Next, you grabbed a clean sock and twisted it into something you could bite down on - after all, glass injuries are never fun, if anything they’re the ones that hurt the most.

Obi-Wan and Anakin watch you, confused as you quickly grab an old tee, ripping two strips from the fabric and using one to bind your left wrist almost effortlessly; muscle memory carrying you after doing so hundreds of times. Next came the bit you weren’t so keen on. Grabbing the sock from earlier, you bit down onto it before taking the glass in your abdomen in one hand, and the staple gun in the other. You give yourself a countdown—1…2…3…and with that, you yank out the glass, instantly crying out at the pain. Your scream is muffled by the sock but you don’t give yourself much time to deliberate as you’re quickly pinching the wound shut with one hand and placing the staple gun over it at the same time. 1…2…3…and in goes the first staple. A single tear rolls down your cheek but you don’t have time to be pedantic - you need to get this sealed up, and fast.

After a few more staples the wound is sealed and you take the second scrap of fabric and bind it around your abdomen, pulling the knot tight over the wound, wincing as you do so. Letting out the breath you didn’t know you were holding, you pull the sock out of your mouth and place all of the equipment back into your backpack. Sealing it shut, you pull yourself back up and face the two men before you.

“What are you looking at?” You ask, noticing how both of them are just standing, awestruck at what you’d just done. It was a bit gruesome, yes, but nothing major… “Hello? Earth to Obi-Wan—” You wave a hand in front of his face in order to break the stare, which seems to work.

“Earth?” He asks, genuinely confused now.

“Yes…Earth, you know, the planet we're from - humans…don’t play dumb with me Kenobi” you laugh, bringing the backpack up over onto your shoulders.

“He’s not…is Earth a planet?” Anakin asks, he too seems to be a bit on the confused side of things.

“Not you too Anakin, are you sure you didn’t hit your heads on the way down?” You jest, “stop pulling my leg and just show me to the closest airport,” you grumble, now trying to look around for any signs of sorts to get you out of this weird place.

“My dear, we’re most certainly not pulling any legs — Airport? What do you mean by Airport?” Obi-Wan asks.

“And what do you mean Earth is a planet?” Anakin chimes in.

Their faces are serious now, and it’s kind of unsettling. Surely they must be pulling some stupid practical joke?

“You’ve got to be kidding me…” you shook your head, grumbling a small chuckle at the same time, “We’re on Earth right now. Last thing I knew I was in the middle of the Amazon Rainforest, and now I’m stuck in the middle of this city.” You pause for a moment, wondering if you should disclose the intel of your mission - but after close deliberation is quite clear that you’re nowhere near where you’re meant to be and that these people really had no idea what was going on - it was like they were on another planet or something, “look, I shouldn’t tell you this but…I was on a Special Ops mission for the SAS to infiltrate and investigate an Unidentified Object in the Amazon Rainforest. My team and I made entry and breached the compound, but found nothing inside. The next thing I know I’m in the middle of this room and there’s a weird invisible wall separating me from my troops, and as I go to touch it - boom, out like a light. Then after that I wake up in some street here with someone reaching for my gun, so I ran towards this church thingy in search of sanctuary to find my way back. Look, I know that you only want to help but I need to find a way out of here, so if you can just lend me a phone or—”

“Wait, wait. Hold up - a phone? Amazon Rainforest? Invisible wall?” Anakin takes a step forwards, now incredibly interested in what you’d just said.

“Earth? Darling, no, we’re on Coruscant, and that, ’church thingy’ is the Jedi Temple. Anakin and I are Jedi, and we have absolutely no idea what you mean by a phone.” Obi-Wan interrupts.

“Wait, so we’re not on Earth?” And what do you mean you don’t know what a mobile phone is, everyone has one!” You reply, exasperated to what the two ‘Jedi’ 're telling you.

“I’m afraid I’ve never heard of a planet named Earth,” Obi-Wan apologizes, sensing your rising distress, “and no, I’ve no idea what a mobile phone is.”

Suddenly feeling the effects of your injuries you know you need to sit down somewhere and take all of this in.

“Look, is there anywhere safe I can go right now? I need to sit down and process all of this, we need to talk — I don’t believe you when you say we’re not on Earth, that's not possible — there’s no other life beyond Earth, hell we’ve only been to the moon a couple of times let alone other planets!”

“Anakin, notify the council for an emergency meeting. I’ll take…uh,” Obi-wan stumbles for a second, looking at you as if he’s trying to communicate.

‘Your name?’

As if you could read his mind, you gave him your name and he continued.

“Ah yes, Anakin, sort the council out while I take Amy on up to my quarters to try and get a grip on things.”

“I'm sure you will, Master,” Anakin snorts back, leaving before Obi-Wan can scold him for his insinuations. You, however, couldn’t help yourself, letting out a small laugh and blushing a little at the implications. Obi-Wan rubbed the back of his neck and swatted Anakin on the shoulder as he walked away.

“I like the kid,” you mutter, not bothering to hide the grin manifesting on your lips.

“Don’t encourage him, you’re just as bad as each other,” Obi-Wan scolds, but the smirk on his lips gives him away as you follow him into the temple.

_____

 The walk didn’t take long, and before you knew it Obi-Wan had come to a stop outside a door. Pressing a button, the door slid open with a whoosh. He opened his arm in a gesture to invite you in, asking you to go before him.

“Ladies first,” he jested.

Two can play that game.

“Age before beauty,” you retort, snickering at the blatant shock on his face. He’d never heard that one before.

“Are you calling me old?” He feigns hurt, grabbing at his heart in a dramatic sense.

“Didn’t say that was a bad thing, master Kenobi.” You chuckle, taking him up on the offer to go in first. You didn’t catch the brief blush and wicked look he gave you as you walked in, but that was for the better, he supposed.

Taking in the room it was quite clear that Kenobi didn’t keep many possessions at all, if any at that. To the right was a small kitchen which housed a few cupboards and what you assumed to be a cooker, the tabletops adorning a few appliances that looked like a cooker and a kettle of sorts. To the left were two sofas and a small coffee table. It was all simple whites and creams, nothing special, very generic and simple, minimal. Further over to the left was an open door, and after stepping further into the room it was clear it was his bedroom. Not wanting to pry his privacy, you made your way over to the sofa at the coffee table.

You dropped your backpack to the floor and lounged on the sofa, resisting the urge to lay flat out and relieve the pressure of your abdomen. Trying not to draw attention to yourself you wrap your arms around your abdomen, squeezing a bit to try to relieve the pressure.

Obi-Wan walks in behind you and instantly heads to the kettle, filling it with water and placing it not the stand, flicking the switch to turn it on. Next, he heads to the bedroom, remembering that you needed a change of clothes. Quickly rummaging through his drawers, he finds an old tunic and some trousers and brings them out into the living room. What he didn’t expect was for you to be passed out slumping over the side of the armrest of the sofa, clutching your abdomen.

Quickly rushing over he pries you up, trying to get a good look at the injury. It was a lot worse than he thought it was and he mentally kicks himself for allowing you to walk back here with the backpack on, let alone not seek medical help after your ratchet attempt at surgery. Rushing over to the kitchen to grab the emergency first aid kit, he brings it back to the sofa to start working on your injury. He checks to make sure you’re out cold before placing his hands on you. Kneeling down beside you, he quickly pulls your shirt up to rest just below your breasts, tucking it under your bra so it will be held in place out of the way. Next, he opens the medkit and fishes out the Bacta injection he saves for emergencies. Now that your shirt is out of the way, he can get a proper look at your injury.

A staple or two must have come loose as now the entry point of the glass has opened again, and blood is quickly spilling out of the slits. Pinching them together again he aims the needle just next to the flesh. But just as he’s about to administer the shot, you grab his wrist in a death-like vice.

“What are you doing?” You ask, not able to hide the tremor of fear that wavered your voice. You must’ve blacked out but the last thing you need is someone you’ve just met stabbing you with a vial of weird blue liquid.

“Do you trust me?” The question catches you off guard. You don’t trust anyone. You never have. Yes, it was always said that you must have complete faith in your comrades, but faith and trust are two completely different things. Faith is to believe in someone's actions; you can have faith that someone will do the right thing or make the critical decision, but to trust someone; that's more contractual - it's reciprocal. You can only trust someone if they trust you back.

“I…I uh, do you trust me?” You ask back — your mind is foggy now but you need to know.

“Yes, I trust you, now will you let me help you, please?” Obi-Wan insists, and so you let go of his wrist and he instantly administers the shot.

It was weird, like nothing you’d ever felt before. A warm, welcome sensation swam in your blood, quickly heating your whole body and instantly numbing away the pain. The fogginess from earlier eased by the second, and within a minute or so you found yourself able to breathe without resistance. Whatever that blue juice was, you needed more of it. Glancing down at your injury you were shocked, it was nigh on gone, left without a trace of there even being anything wrong in the first place.

“What..what did you use?” You ask nervously, finding that it didn’t hurt anymore to talk, the raspiness from before had dissipated.

“Bacta”

“What, like antibacterial? Not Penicillin or Ibuprofen…?” You ask, Kenobi only shakes his head, “Paracetamol? Codeine? Amoxicillin?” You continue.

“No, Bacta, what’s Ibuprofen?” He returns, still dumbstruck by the weird names you keep coming up with.

“It’s a painkiller — it’s disappeared, how has it disappeared?” You frantically grab at the flesh which had now completely healed over. It’s like it just melted in front of your eyes. What the fuck, “Where did it go? Kenobi please stop playing games with me,” you felt tears begin to prick your eyes. This was all too much, this whole experience was beginning to feel a bit too real and you just needed something normal to grasp, to remind you that things will be ok. You begin hyperventilating, and the familiar dread of panic begins to sweep in and grab at your heart and chest, constricting your breathing and clouding your thoughts. “Please, just tell me where I am, I’ll do anything to stop this. I just want to know where I am,” you’re crying now. You hadn’t cried for years, actually, you can’t remember the last time you cried — the army didn’t really give you the time or space for such emotions.

“Hey, please, Darling, calm down. It's ok—” Obi-Wan was at a loss for words. He didn’t know what to do. Of course, he just wanted to help you and be comfortable with you, but he didn’t know your boundaries and wasn’t one for assuming. But as you began to panic and throw yourself into a pit of worry, he took things into his own hands. Getting up off the floor he sat up on the sofa and dragged you onto his lap, pulling your head to his chest so he could cradle you in a tight hug; one hand wrapped around your front to your back, the other cupping the back of your head and intertwining his fingers with your hair. He began slowly swiping his thumb on your back in slow circles, closing his eyes and sending calm, soothing energy across the force. “Shhh, it’s ok, just breath,” he whispered.

Slowly your tears began to dry and your breathing returned to normal, but neither of you moved. It was odd — Obi-Wan enjoyed the company of others, yes — and he’d enjoyed intimacy with others too, Satine and Siri. But something was different about you. The connection with his previous relations took time to build, time to develop and construct the trust between the two. But with you, it was pretty much instantaneous. His feelings towards you were strong, stronger than he had initially realized, stronger than they should be for someone he’s known for less than 24 hours; and yet he finds himself not surprised. Your dark chocolate hair flowed like sweet honey from your head, collecting into a messy knot at the nape of your neck. Your skin was graced with the company of a constellation of freckles, and the occasional scar pinched the canvas like a shooting star, a momentary memory in time which was now a permanent feature upon your skin. It was ironic really, how the scars that peppered your skin represented a moment of pain but only further projected your beauty, making you shine just that bit brighter.

Catching his thoughts before they completely ran away with him, he moved his hand from your back to cup your chin, moving your head back from his chest and into his eye line.

“Better?”

“Better, thank you,” you chime, voice soft and silken with comfort. You’d never felt so comfortable in someone's arms before. It had been a long 10 years, and even though you knew growing attachments only lead to pain, you would let yourself indulge in the private feeling of connection to Obi-Wan. You trusted this man quicker than you’d ever trusted anyone - he’s only ever been good to you when you’ve been an absolute brat in return, and that is rare to come by; he obviously has the patience of a saint. “Sorry for how I acted earlier, it’s… my job entails hostility and I’m not used to genuine help, so thank-you.” You clarify.

“No problem, Darling, I am a Jedi after all,” he chuckles, still slowly stroking your hair in a comforting manner. His hand on your chin remains still, but his thumb now slowly swipes at the skin, mirroring the ministrations of his other hand.

“A Jedi?” You ask, genuinely confused. Maybe it was a type of Monk.

“Yes, the peace-keepers of the galaxy, my allegiance is to the republic, to democracy,” he ensures, brows furrowing as if this is common knowledge and he’s taken back that you don’t know this.

“The Republic?” Again, this is all news to you, so you decide to play a small game of 20-questions.

“Yes, the republic, the governing body of the central and mid-core worlds—”

“Worlds?!” Okay, this is getting a bit more interesting now. You decide to press on, hoping to get as much info as possible.

“Yes, well, you keep asking where you are. See, we’re on Coruscant, the capital of the Republic. Then there’s the Inner Rim, Mid Rim, and Outer Rim.”

“Are those continents, countries?”

“No, darling, they’re solar systems. Are you telling me you really—,”

“SOLAR SYSTEMS?!” you sit up now, eyes wide with shock. “You mean to tell me there’s life on more than one planet?!”

“Why, ugh, yes… There are hundreds of thousands of planets, many still yet unexplored. You say you’re from Earth?”

“Yes, like everyone is, there’s no other life past Earth,”

“I highly doubt that Darling, say…are there any other planets in your solar system?”

“Ugh, yeah, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn…Y’know, the milky way galaxy…” you reply, now completely more concerned that things are not as they should be, that something is very, very wrong.

“I can’t say I’ve ever heard of the Milky Way… see were in the Andromeda Galaxy. We haven’t quite mastered traveling between Galaxies yet, although we’re not far off now. And your Earth, it is from the Milky Way?”

“Yes…are you saying that I am on a planet other than Earth, in the middle of another Galaxy…?” Your tone is grave now — the gravity of the situation is finally sinking in.

“I don’t want to assume my dear but that’s what the situation at hand seems to lead towards,” Obi-Wan mumbles. He too is now in complete shock at what has happened. This is all so unheard of — never has there been a visitor from another galaxy, let alone in this state.

You don’t have any words, there’s nothing you can say really. You quickly go to reach for your bag, digging through it to find what you’re looking for. You pull out your phone and quickly scroll to wallpapers, remembering that one of the default images was one of your home planet. Opening the image up you bring it to his face, “So you’re telling me you’ve never seen this planet before in your life?” You ask, voice shaking with anxiety.

“…No…I can’t say I have,” he replies, voice laced with a hint of remorse.

“Fuck.” You mutter, staring back down at your phone.

“Language.”

“Excuse me?” You turn to him, anxiety now turning into anger. You had so many pent-up emotions they were now beginning to boil over, waiting for someone to just flip the switch that one level higher and cause an eruption.

“I said, watch your language,” Obi-Wan says with dead seriousness. His own irritation starting to flare his nostrils.

Oh no, this is not on.

“Make. Me.” You enunciate. Who does he think he is? Didn’t he learn from last time not to piss me off? It’s only then that you notice his eyes darken, his grip on your hair tighten alongside the slight pressure increase under your chin. Never had Obi-Wan felt this passionate before, but he couldn’t help himself. Something about the way you said it, what you said and he just…oh how he wants to make you regret saying that, how he wants to hear you beg him to let you—

“Those are very dangerous words, my dear,” he cuts back, eyes not daring to leave yours, his grip only tightening by the second. And just as you’re about to reply, you’re cut off by an annoying beeping sound. Obi-Wan maintains eye contact with you as the hand on your chin is removed as he fishes around in a trouser pocket to retrieve an off-looking comm device. Only once he flicks the top open does his stare leave you.

“Master, the council is ready to see you and Amy,” The blue projection of Anakin lights up in front of you, and you can’t help but scoot up in Obi-Wan’s lap, now sitting in a bridal position across his thighs so you can get a better look at the incredible holovision in front of you. In your excitement, you didn’t notice the blush creeping Obi-Wan’s face.

“Great, we’ll be right on over, thanks Anakin.” And with that, he flips the lid shut. But before he can place it back in his pocket, you swipe it from him, instantly inspecting the odd instrument. You open the top up again and you’re met with a sort of holo-menu, but you notice that the symbols are similar to those on the side of the temple back on Earth.

“These symbols, what do they mean?” You ask, head craning at an awkward angle in order to get a better look.

“That’s galactic basic, my darling…everyone can read it.”

“I can’t, wait, do you know English?” You ask, genuinely curious.

“…English?”

“Yeah, uh, wait a sec—,” you scramble off of his lap, grabbing your backpack and searching for a pen and paper. After grabbing your tactical notebook, you turn back around on the sofa to show Obi-Wan.

“This, here, this is my name,” you say as you write your name out, “can you read that?”

“Ugh, no, I’m afraid not…” Obi-Wan is puzzled completely, he’s never in his life seen a language like this.

“Can you write yours?” You ask, again, curious as to how this whole language barrier is going to work. You understand each other clearly, you’re both speaking ‘English’…so how come the writing is different?

“Yeah, sure—” Kenobi writes his name out, the symbols of each language looking rather stark in comparison.

“Wow, this…this is crazy,” you mutter, completely dumbstruck yet again.

“yes…yes it is…right! We will have to catch up on this later, we cannot keep the council waiting.”

“Council?”

“Yes, the Jedi council, we must discuss what we are to do with you,—” he says, standing up from the sofa and again patting out any inconsistencies to his outfit. “I must ask that you, ugh, you change into some attire that isn’t so battle-worn,” he chuckles, handing you the clothes he grabbed earlier, “just head through there and use my room, I’ll wait for you, but please do be quick, we must be off.” He added as you walked into his bedroom.

After getting changed you followed him out of the apartment, grabbing your backpack along the way.

Time to meet the Jedi council.