#i just cant get myself to do anything bc for some reason i think it wont be good neough. even tho it was the first time. what the hell
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(ID in alt) I literally said I was gonna post this month's ago and then never had the wherewithal to describe it and so I didn't Lmao (said with pain). But since I'm thinking of opening my commissions I figured I should remind ppl that I. Yknow. Can draw.
Lots of Steph here (I had major art block making all of these and my brain worms for her kept me going) + some sprinkles of stephcass for Cass nation to enjoy!
#dc comics#dc#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#jason todd#(yes for the teddy bear. it counts)#batgirl#batgirls#mine#< keep forgetting to tag my art as that I'm terrible 😭#ANYHOW I'm slowly getting back into drawing again after my last ipad got nuked (cant think abt that or ill cry) and i finished uni#oh yeah j finished my first year of uni btw. i went to an Olivia Rodrigo concert like a week or 2 ago. I've been busy lol#but yeah it's looking like I've got a fun summer of bottom feeding ahead of me now that I've officially been told i got passed over for that#-comic job i applied for. lol. lmao even#it's fine honestly it was a pretty daunting prospect i just have to find a way to fill the time by myself now#I've plenty of comics to read so that's nice. got wayyy into mark waids DD run recently (mostly for Chris Samnee's art)#so that's been fun! i have my empowered omnibus (embarrassing and kept under my bed <3) i have TT year 1 i have huntress and WW#uhhh i got flash 1 minute war. lots of good stuff!#so hopefully i don't go. completely feral from lack of stimulation#also hopefully commissions will be a thing i can do#godddd there's many mkre things i want to draw. i got too enamoured w my own bad theory and now I've drawn tim!bats#but unfortunately now i only want to draw tim!bats being laughed at my the batfamily bc seriously tim?? really??#< it's literally probably not going to happen but I've invested myself in this terrible future for some reason#imagine damian trying to robin for tim!bats for 1 (one) night and the next morning he doesn't say anything he just moves to bludhaven#he can't take this shit#oh so many ideas...#ANYWAY. ues. finally art. now if you like it. consider commissioning me (in 2 to 3 business weeks <3)#(no pressure)
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AND I MET THE CHANGE GOD TOO. OKAY. COOL OKAY
#I WASNT EVEN MEANING TO SO I ACCIDENTALLY SKIPPED THE DIALOGUE BEFORE I KNEW WHAT WAS HAPPENING FUCK#ill go and find it later if only to give myself peace of mind. BUT WOW. WHAT THE FUCK#my original plan was to 1) work my way to the king and talk to him 2) doom myself and take everyone down with me 3) loop back to floor 3#so i can visit the observatory and scrounge for any lore. although since i got killed that run siffrin asked the king to kill him first#which was intereresting. but i decided to have all doors unlocked that time around so i can just get the starcrest and go#but for some reason it wasnt working so i went to get the keyknife since i was already there and completely forgot i already had it#from the previous loop and THATS what triggered it. IT WAS FUNNY BUT ALSO SCARY BUT ALSO I THINK I GET WHAT THEY MEAN#about siffrin going back without actually changing. going along with a script even if his feelings on things change#the same way he has his own small rituals like the carving thing and does it for constancy. reassurance or safety even#and the times when he breaks script and ends horribly like the sadness attacking thing and bonnie yelling at him cause him to loop#to avoid it. although i cant really say anything bc id probably do the same thing. maybe not for the same reasons since im cruel#and make him do the worst to see what will happen since i put curiosity over rejection sensitivity as an observer and player but well.#i feel wrongfooted bringing it up since i dont have it myself but i have to wonder if this kind of leans into ocd tendencies.. i remember#reading something about how ocd is fuelled by fear. and things like counting and rituals are kind of used to cope with that?#if anyone knows anything more or talked abt it already id be really interested in hearing it bc im almost sure im not#the first to come to this conclusion. but i simply dont know enough nor have the confidence to broach the topic rn esp with how often#misconceptions around ocd get casually passed around so its hard for me to know what is and isnt a baseless assumption#puppy plays isat#in stars and time#isat#playthru#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#change god#WHAT WAS THAT WITH WEARING LOOPS FACE THOUGH WHAT THE FUCKKK
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🏥🦷
#damn my teeth on my left side reallyyyyy fkn hurt#last night it started hurting so bad i couldnt fall asleep#i took some regular over the counter pain pills nd they brought down the pain a bit#so it at least didnt hurt as bad as it did first#but now after sleeping a few hours it still hurts ://#idk what to do... bc i've googled but it is like impossible for me to know what this is. could be anything rlly#nd w physical health stuff im not as terrified bc i can just go to the ER. when i was there it only cost $15 lol#but dental care is so fkn expensive i dont even have that in my account#anyway. i could get an 'urgent appointment' which i get financial aid for... probably. thats the thing. it's not 100% certain#idk what i should do bc like i could wait it out nd see if it'll pass nd then wait on my appt the 6th may#or maybe i should call my dentists nd ask them what they think nd if they can give me an urgent appt..#i hate calling tho. i know that sounds ridiculous esp when im dealing w pain but my avpd makes it so so hard for me. i'd almost rather not#if i was smart nd normal thats what i would do. just call them nd see what they decide for me. maybe i'll wait nd see nd call tmrw....#nd idk abt the pain. like it rlly hurts but it isnt extreme i think.. but when i press one tooth it hurts a lot nd makes me worried it's#dying 💀 nd like u can actually die from teeth pain nd complications... nd infections nd stuff. it's scary af 😭#idk if my tooth is dying nd i need to contact a dentist rn or if its smth that can wait for a bit#i mean if i had a job nd a salary i'd book an appt for tmrw nd get it checked but i have to discuss w myself bc i cant afford lol#ugh this is the reason im terrified of dental problems. the pain is awful nd theres nothing u can do if you're poor#my head keeps spinning idk what i should do abt this 😭 i csnt make up my mind. just want it to go away on its own but i know it wont#nd it hurts so that i can barely sleep or eat or concentrate. so i rlly dont know.....#oh if only things were easy
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#personal#it feels like im not allowed to complain about my own life on my own blog#or at least that if im allowed to that it seems very firstworld problem very selfish very not appropriate with all thats going on#that people will and do think less of me for expressing my own sadness and frustrations because theres no way it compares#to a lot of peoples very big and very real problems#but im so fucking sick of being poor and small. all ive had to eat today is 2min noodles roughly 10 hours ago#and all ill get tomorrow is a bowl of 2min noodles but ittl be another 15 or so hours until its the most reasonable to eat that#thats the real girlmath and then thats the last of my noodles. that leaves me with one (1) small tin of tuna#which might end up being tonights intermediary food if i really cant wait 15 nore hours for my next noodles but is supposed to be#the one meal of the day after tomorrow. so if i eat it too soon then i have even more time that i just dont fucking eat#im so sick to death of being in this position. like its literally killing me and theres fuck all i can do to make it better#ive tried. and i try and i try and i try but i can never afford anything#my landagent keeps sending me textx asking when theyll see a patment for my $50 water bill#i have to stop myself from texting back every time. youll see payment when im not spending literally 75% of my pay on rent alone#when i can afford to buy food and bills at the same time. whn i dont feel like kms-ing would be better than paying you my rent every frtnite#i crave a burger so bad i cant make myself do any tasks. i cant start or continue any crafts or chores because all im thinking about#is a burger like a blorbo rotating in my mind alongside the background noise that i wont get a burger and will only get noodles but not for#hours. a whole days worth of hours almost#my shitawful roomate is back and i have to play nice but he gives me the same feelings my abusive mother did. im scared to leave my room#in the safeplace house ive spent the last two years building for myself. this feels awful. things were all going so right and now#all of a sudden theyre all going as wrong as possible and im struggling so much. with no one to help. no one cares enough to help#the few people i do have are wrapped up in their own lives. which i get. but it doesnt take away the hurt of dealing with it all alone again#lot of momma trauma coming up with the end of eclipse season and i thought i was handling it. now i just feel fucking awful all the time#like ik healing isnt linear but the roomate triggers so hard things i thought i had processed and was on top of#would a burger fix that? no but itd atleast give me something to emotionally lean on for strength though it. but all ive got is noodles#24 hour apart one meal per day noodles. and tomorrow is my last pack. my only solace lately is that ive been invited to my first ever rave#or my first real rave anyway ive only been to one other 'edm event' that was not really a rave of any scale it was like 25 people#but its a halloween rave so im hoping for spooky fun dancetimes at least theres that. im out of data and spotifyprem so i havent been able#to take my silly little mental health walks bc theres zero chance im doing that without music and so itll be noce to get outside fr the rave#anyway. im doing very poorly i appreciate you few who reached out while i wasnt active but i expect ill continue to do poorly for some time
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@ your tags on my post, i am shaking you like a maraca and yelling "YESSSSS"
i wanna see how kh3 tackles that whole thing because it's so eerily similar to what happens in the manga. and in the manga, he is in so much pain and agony, AND HE'S STILL FIGHTING. ROXAS IS THERE WITH HIM, HIS ONLY COMPANION, and then kh3 just tripped and fell on the glass table.
also, i think about this constantly, i want them to do something with it so bad.
YEA i cant wait to see the rest of kh3 manga chapters and how they handle everything, i especially loved the manga versions for days and kh2 and the way their stories were told - even tho kh3 has a Lot going on that might be hard to show well.. amano's been good at it so far tho so i have faith :]
but yeah that whole thing with Roxas is just . oughh. im not gonna lie even i forgot that Roxas was like. still there with Sora when he perishes until i thought abt it writing those tags but now that ive realized that. why the hell did they not take advantage of that!!!! like ok i get that it was more focused on the destiny trio in the ways i talked abt in the tags but yknow. what happened to "he makes up the difference"?? that wouldve been a great moment for it to shine!! ik they already make an example of it during the Xemnas n Saïx fight but still!!
part of me wishes Roxas couldve have more outward influence on Sora the way Ven did. granted, he arguably had an affect on Sora back in kh2, and while i dont remember if it was canon or even intended, that could be applied to both his appearance (his lighter hair, mostly) and his behavior (his hostility towards the organization members; ive seen this argued both as smth Roxas had influence over and purely based on Soras experiences thus far, and i believe in both personally) but Ven in kh3 was literally able to speak and somewhat act through him. im pretty sure this was meant to show that Ven was fully ready to awaken or smth like that, and that wasnt sonething that was needed for Roxas; hes alright, just needed a body/vessel for himself. but i still think itd be a cool way to express the earlier sentiment. and it wouldnt necessarily have to be Roxas "taking over" either, the manga shows very well how Roxas gives Sora strength from within and that he definitely does make a difference
to be fair tho...... whether that wouldve helped Sora in the moment that he gives in to his despair, im not sure. in kh2, both manga and game, hes in a very different mindset than kh3. in that part of the manga especially, despite thinking everyone (except Roxas) is gone for good, he still has the belief that they can live on within him. and that, plus the literal strength hes getting from Roxas, is keeping him going despite it all. in kh3 his self confidence is beyond fucked, and he truly believes in that moment that hes lost Everything, not just his friends. thats hard to come back from
i wonder if he were to remember that Roxas were still there, if that wouldve helped. whether for comfort in the way that hes not really alone then, or for motive to keep living bc if he dies then Roxas is gone too, or whatever reason, i think it couldve changed something, even if its just a little bit. hell, itd have been great if something like that happened afterwards in the final world. id like to think Roxas had a hand in Sora surviving ..... not sure how but its a nice thought. either way i do wish Sora n Roxas' connection and that moment they have in san fransokyo had more....... More. in kh3. it was a great opportunity that they didnt use/forgot about n im now sad abt it forever
#while writing this im now realizing that Sora rly just keeps going thru the 'the real answer was within u all along' thing over n over .#Kairi. Roxas. then Ventus and still Roxas#ANYWAY BACK TO MY MAIN POINT its part of why i love love love the manga i love how they handle Roxas especially#not that i dont like his game stuff tho dont get me wrong. hes one of the most beloved characters for a Reason#its possible that they didnt do anything bc they wanted Roxas' big moment to be when he comes back as himself once n for all#n didnt wanna take away from that maybe ? idk thats pure theorizing here#but also theres that mention of how Jiminy is still with him after death..... and how Naminé appears in the final world n all that.....#thats not related to the previous thing i mentioned it just. feels connected in a way i cant articulate rn#ok my ability to think is going down now thats all i got rn. ty for enabling me again i havent thought abt these guys like this in a While#god. i need to replay kh2 again sometime#kh#ask#storm-driver#as an add on purely for myself - the thing i said at the very beginning of the tags abt the people within being the answer#or important in some way...... he himself is included in that. bc of remind
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#now i am absolutely playing and spinning the wheel of . am i going to get sad abt That .#i was a lil bummed abt it yesterday . byt at some point i think i did realise theres probsbly a reason#bc . there was absolutwly divine play happening yesterday . oh my fucking god .#but . anyway having to like rlly pull myself away formcthat glass is having . a negative . distortion#in my brain of some form idk. i cant talk abt it vut im trying to just .#bc while im typing this out and . stringing words tgth that makr No Sense to nayone#egen me sometimes#my brains doing some kind ofnsorting anf its . good? bc itd actually working through what the issue is or wtv. even if whats cominf#outbof my mouth or in text form makes no fucking sense#bc i know whats going on up there. i know that what im saying is helping some kind of dot and pattern so i can get over#whatever thr fuck is upsetting me . bc atp im not . ipset aby anything fucking NEW anymorem#im still putting away my past toys and knives!!!!! why !!!!! why am i still closing doors on old cycles ajd wounds !!!!#50/50 i have been ignoring it and not doing it properly . 50/50 theres stuff i havent been allowed to actually#heal from or access yet regardless. n i do see why ! bc i think abt how ive felt w some of these revelations#and know if id come to this or saw thus or WHATEVER 1 2 or even 4 months ago . provably wouldve done smth drastic . bc i keep slmost#fucking doijg dhit n i just . im not supposed to this time. i know that.#my job is to sit down and shut up. im supposed to docthis (mostly) on my own and without doing whay#my stupid ego wants to do >:( die
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english 101. the self esteem killer
#I HATEEE THIS CLASS sorry. im so tired of writing WHY did i choose the 8wk course#i was so determined to do well in this class and then i turned in my first essay and my outlook did a complete 180#i got full points on that essay. why do i still feel like shit about it.#literally my mental health has declined so fucking much after that essay and i DONT KNOW WHY since i did good on it#ive been turning in less and less assignments these past few weeks as a result bc i cant get myself to do anything#i think i turned in like. one thing last week. out of seven assignments#and theres no late grades in this class so i cant make up those points#i have my third essay draft due tonight and i havent even started it#i just cant get myself to do anything bc for some reason i think it wont be good neough. even tho it was the first time. what the hell#anyway i hate humanities classes i wish i was drowning in equations and chemical formulas rn and im actually rotting away as i write this#two more weeks. i just need to write two more essays.#vent post#college stuff#slug rambles
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🥛🍔
#really getting fucking tired of tumblr not compressing my file itself. like it ruins the quality but it wont#automatically resize my massive fucking files!? gotta do it myself?? ugh. the lack of usability across all social media platforms is just#getting so hard to stomach anymore. nothing is functional. people get their accounts removed for no logical reason. im exhausted.#and yet i still want all my shit in a collective place -_-#ugh.do you ever look at something and are like. holy shit i painted this.damn. unfortunately it doesnt happen very often but when it does?#almost always my vent boy. why. why is that?why cant i paint anything half decent except this emo boy with a mullet?whatever. also. kinda#random but.not actually random. related actually.idk if this is just me but like. sometimes there are Articles in ur living space that just#exist. like u just accept they exist even tho u have no recollection of attaining them. im talkin clothes specifically rn. like i have this#aqua-green robe with blue trim that ive had as far back as i can recall...except i cant for the life of me remember where it came from! its#almost like it spawned in my closet one day.i just. accept it.like. dont get me wrong. it cozy. its quite physically held up for decades.#i wear it all the damn time. but ive no mortal clue how it got here. ive no memory of receiving it.also ngl i had way too much fun renderin#his beard.like u cant tell bc i apply about a million overlay layers and filters respectively to my finished works. ultimately covering up#hours + hours worth of finely rendered details each drawn individually by hand. deeming my efforts useless in the end bc i cover it up but.#trust me. i took some time with that beard.beard gang beard gang.mullet beard gang.dirty smelly mullet beard man. hello yes my name is#80 y/o who is 32/33 years old. how are you today? im personally doing terrible.good talk. WHAT CAN I SAY i just think the emo grown ass man#with boatloads of physical AND emotional trauma is neat. MY HANDS LOOK LIKE THIS SO HIS DONT HAVE TO *camera pans to a fucked up little set#of discolored claws skin translucent as alll hell. no muscle.atrophied beyond repair. also a bit of dirt is caked under the brittle + ridge#unhealthy nails. cuts and scraped take approx 3 months to heal bc the nerve functioning is That Bad*.#botdbs#fk#on a final note. I drew these about a week ago. I was literally only listening to cheeseburger in paradise the whole time. Then I learned#today that Jimmy Buffett passed away yesterday. broke my heart a little. i was just drinking my coffee from my margaritaville mug too.#Rest in peace legend. I hope heaven has so many cheeseburgers.#so many cheeseburgers in literal paradise.#Makin' the best of every virtue and vice. Worth every damn bit of sacrifice. to get a. cheeseburger in paradise.
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📓🕯️🐇🖤pt.2
#only 30 tags lol i ran out... so furthermore#we only get one life. im gonna try as much as i can to enjoy the little moments. nd to not give up on myself nd my life#i will die one day anyway. why rush it. i'll enjoy as many books and as many walks and songs and tv shows as possible#if i get a loan nd have more money i wanna bleach my hair nd dye my hair green#and later this year i think i might change my name#it was the name i wanted to change to from the beginning. but i was in such a bad headspace i just picked eden at random#i do kinda like it now nd im attached to it but i more feel like this other name actually is me. my birth name nd my current name dont feel#really right. so maybe. i havent decided yet. like i rlly dont know. im also attached to this name for some other reason. like it's who i am#to a person i rlly like and if i change... will i be anything to them? i cant put it into words but that makes me hesitate#but it's unhealthy to stay attached to someone i cant truly have even if i want to. so i mean. idk im just weird abt it#but i do kinda wanna change my name (to embla. my mom wanted to give me that name but my dad was like nooo >.<) i am not 100% sure tho so#when i've been getting used to going to school nd working out at the gym. nd after my surgery nd i have more energy#i will try to face my avpd and try apps for making friends. there r two apps where u can find new girl friends!! maybe i can try that#also like i've never tried apps but i think maaaaaybe i can use bumble to try to find friends and women to date. potentially. idk.....#rn it's hard for me to think in those terms bc. i mean i am hung up on someone!!!! i cant evwn imagine dating or being intimate w anyone els#sometimes i feel like.. they're the only person i've ever felt like it'd even be possible. who i'd event want to do that w#not only physically but emotionally. so ig it's even harder to let go bc im so scared i will never feel like that w anyone else#but i rlly need to try to make the most of whatever life i have. the world will collapse soon anyway#that makes me even more sad that i cant be w who i wanna be w nd do what i wanna do but#all pain will all be completely descimated eventually. it's not forever bc life isnt forever#i've just never felt this before. like i want smth to be real so bad but if it happened once surely it can happen again? right?#i wont spend my life alone without intimacy and love and comfort nd support nd understanding right???? :o hope not#im still so sad nd exhausted rn. nothing in my life is working nd theres no repreive nd no help#it gets sooo hard to endure everything sometimes when everything just keeps piling up and gets so heavy it feels like im drowning#nd atm i dont feel like i have any anchor. nothing that keeps me grounded nd im just floating away nd im constantly being overwhelmed by my#feelings nd emotions. im like a stupid little kid who dont understand how to handle what im feeling. or make rational decisions#i feel so ... stupid and useless. i dont know what im doing. i have no idea. i have no compass. its so scary
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I salute to you and thank you for your service 🫡😔
u guys weren’t there in 2018 fighting the atreus annoying and useless allegations like i was. i was on the front lines
#(long rant ahead) i wasnt but i can imagine how terrible it first was#then it got worse for those sticking around since 2018 with rag coming out UGH#atreus/angrboda fans will always have to be battling it seems 😔#I lurk a bit so ive seen older reactions to him and im just like man! who knew an 11 yr old is 11!#idk being a new fan i have a completely different outlook on everything so i dont hold the same contempt as others do#alot of this “fandom” intentionally ignores things bc they dont care and thats fine or whatever but if u dont care for anything or anyone#outside of kratos why are u around ��😭#Like we are no longer there anymore bro he has a home with family thats alive and thriving#The extreme negativity is one of the reasons why i was hesitant to be here in the first place#Not the first fandom and probably not the last im associated with but this one i think is the first one where i genuinely feel everyone#is miserable with EVERYTHING.#Matter of fact i dont even consider myself part of the fandom LOL#Im just here enjoying what i enjoy#It really sucks liking a character(s) thats almost universally hated for some(dumb) reason#Like… everyone is just negative and i see that even on twitter to the point i just have to mute/block ppl.#I dont tend to care (or try not to care) abt things like this but i dont think ppl realize being in that state can leak into#Smth you dont want. Yes not everything is glitters and butterflies but to stay in that negative mindset is just crazy to me.#ESPECIALLY over a fucking VIDEOGAME CHARACTER like girl bye😭😭😭#I have my own gripes with my other fave games and fandoms i been in but this fandom takes the cake of being a drag#Sms taking a lot of risks and continue trying with atreus gives me hope for him and angie. Idk what theyll do with them#From here on out but they realize no matter what they do its gonna get some level of hate.#I dont even know if ill like their characterization next game either but with what ive seen so far i think they are in good hands.#Im sorry for the really long rant you guys i just needed to say this LOL#When it comes to atreus/angrboda i get a bit passionate but also since sunny/laya are around my age and knowing how gamers are#Its just really aggravating seeing shit like this#Not to say i cant get crazy myself (cuz i can im ngl) but alot of times i just have to take a step back and BREATHE.#Theres a small change ive seen with the hate towards them (ppl have been getting kinda annoyed with it since thats all they talk abt)#But collectively i hope one day ppl genuinely like them. Not out of pity or anything either. But bc they enjoy their characters :)#Im manifesting that it will happen LOL#manifesting all good things towards atreus/angrboda🕯️🕯️🕯️
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i keep getting irrationally miffed at ppl 😐😐
#'impressed by how much u can talk abt this considering youve not played either game'#fuck off. as if im not just trying to show interest bc u + another friend are both into them + constantly talk abt them in our gc!!#i mean since u guys talk abt them all the time + theyre huge on tumblr like. it would be hard for me to not know anything abt them at all#literally what else can i talk to u guys abt anyway. i dont think there are any interests i personally have that they both gaf abt#if anything they actively dislike most of the things im hyperfixated on. or at least she does so like i cant bring that up can i.#all i did was share a post i saw on tumblr that i thought was funny. its not like i had some negative/controversial opinion#i just saw it and thought hey that makes me think of my friends bc they like those things maybe theyll find it funny too!!#dog sitting outside the door with rly big sad eyes offering them a stick i found in a puddle#i like listening to them talk and i will eventually play some of the games theyre into myself cuz they make them sound rly cool#and even if theyre not my kind of thing i like sharing interests with other ppl and sometimes thats enough for me to be able to enjoy it#i literally own some of them already but im just not in the mental space to start smth new right now. which i have SAID!!!!#why do u even care girl. as if u dont already have a ton of friends playing it that ur talking to abt it???? i wont have anything to add#and thats not gonna stop u from being able to talk to me abt it anyway????? like 2/3 of our conversations atm are abt bg3#man. i know its not that deep but it makes me kinda sad for some reason. im just trying. i guess next time ill just let u guys talk-#to each other or at me and not comment or say anything so u can pretend im not here or whatever it is u want#ughh. she probably didnt even mean it like that and ill feel stupid for getting annoyed and delete this later but whatever.#might work out early today and then i can like draw or play a game or smth the rest of the day. alright lets go#.vent#listening to my silly little jfunk/jazz/soul playlist and i already feel over it. healing
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Ok over an hour later and no im still a mess...
#miranda talking shit#I know i wont find an answer today bc i need time to weight pros and cons etc but like... My mind really is all over#Do i have the right to set some kind of rules? He's more experienced than me and this was his idea. Meanwhile im a virgin and basically not#Done much at all... Would it be crazy if i set some rules or boundaries anf what would those be? The obvious is. If i say im uncomfortable#It stops. That goes for him too. But idk if i can demand more and what it would be? I at one hand cant see myself setting the pace#Bc im so anxious and shy... Plus i wonder if theres anything one can do about ... Me feelinh potentially used? I dont know#Thats a worry for me. That he'll just want to f me and then hes gone. He said he wouldn't bc he cares about me#But its a worry? But how would that... Work... He have to give me a hug before he leaves? Would that be stupid idk.#My biggest fears is that I'll feel used or develop more feelings. I think i have the feelings under control. I obviously like him already#But if we do this we would go in with those expectations. Id not expect him to love me like that... I feel like i should for my own saftey#Set up some ttpe of rules to prevent me being hurt but i have no experience so i cant say what a rule would be stupid and what would be#Helpful/reasonable? I also know. We wont go all the way any time soon. He said that to me that he knows that im still a virgin#And he would not want to be the one to take it if i wasnt completely comfortable with it. He knows that if we do iy it'll be very#Well... Mild for a long time unless always. I know anyone who knows me will most likely scream and tell me not to... But also more than 50%#Of me really wants to... I feel like if this is a mistake? He'll be the best person I'd be able to do that mistake with? Does that make#Any sense? Because i trust him and like him and i feel like he does the same for me... I feel he would listen to me and respect me and not#Force me or push himself on me? And im definitely curious... Like yeah... And id kinda want to get some more experience... And gasp#Have fun??? Like when we discussed this even i laughed. He made me laugh during this. So i was obviously comfortable enough to do that#I guess this is an brain vs heart thing... Am i stupid and selfish for wanting this bc it'll potentially feel good and I'll feel wanted?#Maybe. Probably. But also... I can not think of any mistake like this ive ever made in my life. I havent allowed myself to do stupid shit#Ive not gotten stupid wasted or done something like that in my teens... This feels. If it'll hurt I'll learn from it and not be scarred#Forever? But i dont know. I think big part is that its new and exciting and all that and i want something like that... I want to feel#Something like that.... At least for a while as long as its actually fun...#Any advice or thoughts please do share. I know i sound naive and stupid bc i am honestly... But is that only a bad thing?#Idk genuinely so... Any thoughts I'll take anything. Or questions or any own experience i just need some others views
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Twin au /e!42 Miles and e!1610 Miles
Warnings: reader is female & mentions of like fighting
inspo from: @moodysunflowerbaby
GO READ WHAT THEY MAKE BC WOOOWEEE I CANT STOP GIGGLING!
I AM SOOOO EASILY INFLUENCED I CANTTT
How did you meet?
middle school you have classes with the both of them but 42 neverrr shows up. So when he does and 1610 doesnt, youre going crasy!
“ hey miles! you got the braids you have been talking about done? I like em’ on you; suit your face well.”
he just looks at you sideways ”nah im not miles im Mylo, Miles is my identical twin”
you sit there mouth open “ but you look exactly the same its crazy!” he gives you a look like youre dumb ” yea… identical twins.”
after that you would bother them about twin stuff like crazyyy
“ ok miles whats he thinking?” “ getting new shoes” you look at Mylo “REALLY?” “No” they say in unison.
“ wait if you are the same then do you share everything?” you say out of pure curiosity. Mylo looks at you with the most annoyed fave he could muster” no i don’t let his musty self touch my stuff” miles looks at him “ we doin this here?” “ ill do it wherever hermano”
dating one while being friends with the other (42)
you spend a lot of times in your room bc if you try to leave rio makes you take Mikes with you HAHAHA
“ooo that sounds fun! take your brother” shes says walking away “ on second thought we just gonna stay here” Mylo says walking you back to his room.
MILES NEVER KNOCKS!!
You guys dont do anything you wouldnt do in front of his mom but when Miles walks in asking for shoes or jewelry Mylo still gets annoyed.
“ tomorrow night we should go to the mall and then get dinner at-“
“Hey can i borrow some dunks?”
“ hey can you take yourself out of MY room before I remove YOU myself? What I tell you bout nocking?”
“ my bad” he says walking out
(1610)
Mylo pays like 0 mind but it still shocks him that he can pull yk? Not that Mylo likes you but how can his little brother that 0 shocking things about him get a girl?? just shocking.
“ you know what I think bout?”
“hm”
“ that you got a girl acting and looking like that”
“ nigga what? WE LOOK THE SAME”
Miles is so annoying about having a gf i cant
“ Mylo, yk what i got that you don’t have?”
“what”
“ A GIRLFRIEND” ( insert crazy ugly laugh)
GAURD. DOGS.
I AM SCREAMING
Imagine like guys dont like you and its a dumb reason like you rejected them and people dont know yall are frinds so they talk MAD SMACK about you and Miles and Mylo they egg egg them on to beat you up at a said location but they show up instead and get put on a hospital bed HAHA
^ do as you wish with that but if u use it LMK I GOTTA READ IT
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taglist @soseoulol @shoyofroyoyoyo
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side part NOT part 2 here
my taglist is open so please fill THIS out!!
if you filled it out and were NOT mentioned please dm me!!
i also cut my finger so writing is kind of difficult so bear with me 🤭
#miles morales#earth 42 miles#miles morales x reader#atsv x reader#earth 42#earth 42 miles morales#earth 42 miles morales x reader#fluff#across the spiderverse#e1610 miles#e1610 morales x reader#e1610#twin au#Morales Twins#earth 1610 miles#female reader#cyberkitty1
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this isnt a call out for anyone; i keep getting asked why i even post my opinions on the internet if i dont want to argue whenever i mention how tired i am of people trying to argue with me or proof me wrong
and i just ... for one its bc there are people that have told me they like hearing my opinions bc it makes them feel less alone, its validating to hear that i am not alone and i make them feel less alone (this is a big reason)
then theres the thing .. do you feel good never saying your opinion on anything and just keeping everything to yourself? be it big or small, i tried to do that for years, just trying to crawl deeper and deeper into a hole bc clearly i am the problem and should be able to deal with everything on my own, never say anything, i could be annoying, i could be a burden, and it nearly killed me; i have very few friends and i already spam them enough to feel constantly guilty
and if i did that on some private account ... what use is that, thats the same thing as not saying anything, whats the use of saying anything when no one listens, even to select few, whats the point if others cant find it, there might be people i dont know at all that would find solace in hearing my stupid ramblings about games
its true i lack self control and just tend to talk about stuff when i feel the need of talking, but is that really so bad?
correct me if im wrong but i was never of the impression that posting something on the internet automatically means wanting to debate and argue unless you specifically say or initiate it on someone elses post? like thats why i pretty much always make my own post to complain and dont go on other peoples posts of opposing views, id view the latter as an invitation to argue moreso than the former
when i post some stupid opinion (im talking about harmless personal video game opinions mind you) on my own account who am i bothering, if people agree thats great! if they dont they can just move on- i know people love to discuss and share different opinions but the the ones i most often encounter are ones where its a basically trying to start a fight over whos more right (like theres always one correct opinion to have) or just telling me i am not allowed to feel like i feel-
im aware i cant expect everyone to be able to see a differeing opinion and move on without saying anything, but when i say something, unless its specifically a question, i just do it to vent, to let my thoughts out so they dont slowly gnaw at me, maybe find validation in others also thinking like that (i know i cant also expect everyone to think that way .. i just see it as a form of politeness? sorta?); in all honesty, i dont do it to get told opposing opinions (i know thats maybe a little ... idk, selfish i guess?) bc i usually have seen or heard those already and am saying mine bc i havent seen it before or very very little- what i think is often very much not the majority so the need to say something gets greater the more i see somethign i dont agree with, like an urge to balance it? a call to see if i am alone or not? and much less so to argue or debate over something like that, im tired and exhausted at all times, and have often trouble even getting myself to draw, i dont enjoy fights of any kind, and especialyl so when its about something so completely ignorable like a game opinion i only said bc i wanted it out of my head and bc i have seen that the majority seems to be of a different one
like a sticky note on a wall, not an invitation to a political meeting?
maybe this is something i need to work on and get better at, i havent found a way that lets me get rid of my thoughts in a way that doesnt leave me feeling guilty (like spamming my friends) or to gnaw at me (not saying anything, or somewhere no ones gonna hear it)
i know im incapable of shutting up ever (though at least i got a better control over my emotions by now) and i risk accidentally seeming like im inviting people to a fight but i dont know what else to do
maybe its something i horribly missunderstood about the internet, but its my only outlet for that, i dont have anyone IRL to talk to about my interests, maybe its a flaw that needs work, maybe its just a flaw, i dont know :/
#ganondoodles talks#personal#and thats enough personal talk for today#already feeling shitty enough#im also really bad at lying- if some of this seems self centered then .. i guess it is- im sorry?#dont think im ever gonna be a perfect human being#even while trying to better myself#:(
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First off I need to just mention that your Uknighted dream art is top tier elite and i am in love. Like you have no idea.
Okay, now thats said, do you have any soft ot3 headcanons/scenes that you can imagine happening but can’t figure out how to write etc etc.? 💕
God is all of them an option bc the answer is all of them
I SWEAR I. HAVE SO MANY IDEAS AND THOUGHTS TAKING UP SPACE IN MY BRAIN (Both for ukd and for the entire family tbh) that i just CANNOT bring myself to draw or write or anything. If i had the time to be able to draw everything that popped in my head it would be OVER for yall i stg. And then theres my in progress fic i have up right now which i last updated in like (checks notes) January but i swear i’ve been THINKING about updating it again and that counts right
- Ummm. this is just something i find very funny but i absolutely love the idea that before they “Formally” announce their relationship, the public have just been spreading rumors left and right about the princess’s “affair”. cass and rapunzel somehow NEVER notice this but for a while it seems like eugene cant go ANYWHERE without someone either awkwardly being like “Soooo how are things going with the princess ^_^;;;” or just straight up asking “Hey is your wife cheating on you?” with no hesitation.
and eugene, being the attention whore he is obviously just Went with it and was like “Well yeah duh. Who do you think set them up”
EVERYONE GOES CRAZY.
before long literally EVERYONE has heard about it. rapunzel’s fucking Parents have heard about it. people in other KINGDOMS have heard about it. Meanwhile eugene’s having the time of his Life. He’s got disguises just to go in and listen in on the servants’ gossip. at this point he’s just started Making shit up and every day he’s spreading a proposition thats somehow even more absurd than the last. Most of them don’t even make sense. Like “Oh yeah no the reason rapunzel and cass are always sneaking off together isn’t because they’re having a steamy love affair it’s actually because they’ve been making blood sacrifices to the underworld to make sure zhan tiri never returns. Just girl things yk?”
“No see you’ve got it all wrong thats not cassandra at all. That’s shorty. He and rapunzel are having a book club together. It’s not going very well because shorty keeps eating all the books.” Or his personal favorite, “Wait you thought RAPUNZEL was the one having the affair?” gets them EVERY TIME.
Cass and rapunzel finally declare things officially only for everyone to become even MORE confused and they finally realize eugenes been fueling the fire for the past 3 months and he had just Assumed they were already aware of it
eugene: ….Wait you guys didnt know about that?
raps: i
raps: NO????
eugene:
eugene: um. Oops
cass: THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN “OOPS”?????
- this is kind of random but i PROMISE its going somewhere bear with me. In my head eugene is NOT the captain of the guard because a character becoming a cop is literally a fate worse than death. instead i like to imagine he does some kind of social work and is also an author…Eugene has a rlly strong connection to literature and is a great storyteller, hes got a flair for the dramatic and a strong imagination and seeing how much the flynn rider books meant to him in his childhood, i think he’d absolutely want to create something like that for other people 🥹
Anyways one of my favorite ideas w them is a modern au where rapunzel and eugene are both starving artists who are making a webcomic together…Eugene is still trying to publish his first novel and is writing for the comic in the meantime. theyre aspiring towards turning it into a graphic novel. Cass is literally just forcing everyone around her to read it. You’ve already read it? Read it again /J. She’s their number one hypeman but she’s trying to act sooo chill about it to keep up her Cool stone cold butch aesthetic. She’s like going to cons with them and hands out business cards and helps sell merch and she has a side account on twitter where she gets into heated arguments with anyone who hateposts about it.
Bonus points: it’s a fantasy comic about a lost princess, her knight girlfriend and her rogue boyfriend and is loosely a reference to the events of the canon show
- OH OH something that DEFINITELY fits this category has to be the girls taking eugene to the lagoon for the first time…….I think cass and rapunzel still spend a lot of dates there just the two of them, and no matter what it is very much Their Spot ™, but after things become official it just. Doesn’t really feel right to keep it exclusively between them anymore. i have a LOTTTT of thoughts on this…..rapunzel bouncing around and showing everything to him and cass just being dragged along for the ride…picnics together by the water while cass and raps are eagerly telling him all the stories of what he missed out on. it’s their quiet place i think they escape to whenever they don’t want to be bothered at the castle LOL. eugene officiates the cassunzel wedding there….. not to mention if/when they have kids 🥹 Augh. They make sooo many memories there i think🫶🫶🫶
- Not a specific scene so much as just a silly hc but rapunzel LOVES it when they “fight” over her. Usually it’s just a playful thing and rapunzel finds it so cute and endearing. They have the exact same banter every time and the same fake “duel” for her hand and raps will NEVER get tired of it
- oh and SPA DAYS. God cassandra’s self care routines by herself have always been SHIT. I love that girl but i think she absolutely reeks. Her hair looks like something died in it and whenever it gets too long she just grabs the nearest sharp object and cuts it off in one swoop. Eugene and rapunzel are UTTERLY horrified by this and they do not let that shit fly as soon as she’s living with them. They have little self care nights at least once a week, sometimes just with the three of them and sometimes the rest of the family gets into it too, it depends on the day. eugene helps do her hair for her and they pick out all sorts of fancy products for her skin and her curls and just absolutely SPOIL her. at first shes kinda whiny about it but once she realizes how much better she feels on a day to day basis she reluctantly apologizes for ever doubting them
#God sorry it takes me so long to answer these asks i need like to set aside at least 3 hours just to gather my thoughts#And then they just sit in my drafts and i progressively add onto them over a period of like 2 months#tts headcanons#tangled cassandra#uknighted dream#new dream#cassunzel#princess rapunzel#eugene fitzherbert#ask#tangled asks#pansy rambling again#tangled the series#rapunzels tangled adventure#tangled
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i know its an older post but irt that incest post sometimes i feel like ppl just dont and cannot get it until it happens to them. i couldnt even comprehend it as a possibility until i was 14 staying at my uncles house for a while and i still cant comprehend it as a thing that happened to me sometimes. i think its bc ppl feel security with their families in that sense— even if theyre abused in other ways, its like, “well, i know them and they’d still never do THAT.”
perhaps its bc we are still not educated about the dangers of incest as children. ever. we are taught stranger danger. we’re taught what inappropriate touch is. and when we’re a little older we’re taught to recognize grooming behaviors, but we’re never taught about what its like when it comes from family members— and what’s more we’re taught to assume the best from family members, to think of them as the exception to inappropriate touch or behaviors, when they DO make us uncomfortable instead of recognizing those behaviors as red flags. then one day it becomes too late, like it did with me. and maybe that contributes to the idea that its a non-possibility in some people, that it only happens in fiction.
the most i’ve ever seen presented to children as a red flag irt incest is the idea of a mother’s boyfriend or a stepparent acting inappropriately, but that still comes from the angle of “you havent known them for as long so this means they could also be a predator.”
we still don’t fully address what the commonly cited statistic “most sexual abuse comes from someone the survivor knows” MEANS. its not just friends. not just partners. its your family, too. its people you’ve known all your life.
but ultimately— i’m finally making my point i promise— the reason we dont address those things is because the idea that children should be able to turn to their community when their family fails them is too controversial, and not just among families that support incestuous abuse. “if my child knows they can confide in a teacher/neighbor about anything, they might become rebellious. god forbid somebody other than me contributes to my child’s development!”
people prefer the heightened possibility of their child being subjected to incestuous abuse over their child having any semblance of autonomy.
sorry for the long ask i’d usually post this to my blog but this is not something i’d be okay publicly speaking about.
hi sorry this took a bit to answer that post IS from a while ago and i wasnt sure how to respond, because i have fortunately never experienced that type of abuse myself and dont have much to add beyond agreement. i didnt want to just leave this in my inbox though since its clear you put a lot of thought into it.
i think a lot of the opportunities for incestuous abuse stem from the traditional family structure not actually prioritizing protection or comfort, but control that feels threatened every time somebody tries to bring it up. nobody wants to actually prevent it because that would mean acknowledging family as a potential threat, as well as breaking down the ways the controlling of sex and ownership by said family is already normalized in culture (ex. fathers vigorously defending their daughters virginity, etc). this is all why imo discussions on this should go hand in hand with childrens rights and body autonomy, but even in these discussions its rare to see it actually brought up
its really something that needs to be talked about more, but people struggle to see past "alabama" jokes and fauxcest porn
#og post#ask#anon#incest cw#for context a post i made about incest being incredibly normalized is getting notes again#realized this is probably incredibly out of nowhere if you havent seen it LOL#oh and this isnt even getting into how frustrating it is that so many people go to thoughts on this topic are essentially eugenics
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