#i just believe so strongly that its purposeful and its going to make the emotional moments hit harder

[ctheathy]

Nine w/ Unintelligent yet emotionally clever!Darling

Nine x Reader

General+Fluff Headcanons

Short Concept

Author’s note: hello, my sweeties~! Right off the bat, I want to insanely apologise for taking so long with any of the requests that just so happen to still be in my inventory, motivation has been appearing and dying out a lot lately and it affects the quality of my writing a lot unfortunately. I promise I shall finish them up eventually though<3<3

Literally thought of this dynamic one night and it cracked me up so much, I just had to make a post about it lmfao.

Nine/Reader [Romantic Tendencies]

[Gender-neutral Darling|Female Darling|Male Darling]

Potential ⚠️TWs⚠️ :

Nine being a meanie •

・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・

You two would likely have quite the bumpy relationship right off the start of your meeting. We all know Nine is rather quick to rage himself and has his little frustration streak to deal with, which shall unfortunately be dumped on you for the time being when you two are in one another’s presence. The fact that you fail to understand basic logic drives him absolutely mad. Don’t get him wrong, he knows he’s on a higher level of intelligence when it comes to the average mobian, but even common sense didn’t seem to get to you. He’d stick around you on purpose just in favour of sassing you and making sure you don’t walk right into danger.

At first he’d always make it very clear to you that he strongly dislikes your lack of intelligence, much as a muffled groan could be heard fromout his side whenever you managed to let out yet another “...huh?” as a sentence on the complexer side found itself into the conversation; which to him, had been basic common sense. He believes you’re absolutely going to be the death of him. Sarcastic remarks are a must and he’s continuously throwing bold comments left and right. ‘Let natural selection take its course’ as he would always say on an average afternoon. Though something you are aware of however, is that he wouldn’t dare to even think of letting you get hurt in the slightest.

As much due to you still being a sweet and caring soul, he’s automatically still going to grow a soft spot for you through one way or another. It’s going to happen over time, but he just needs to grow accustomed to the fact you don’t understand things as easily. He would still let out a small sigh whenever something very logical isn’t understood by you, but this time he’d instead go out of his way to calmly explain the said misunderstanding for your sake. You have to start somewhere, right? And he wouldn’t want anybody but himself to take that position in your life either, not taking no as an answer for certain.

Though the sassy remarks and commentary shall genuinely die down after the realisation sets in that you’re actually trying when gathering the said information. It may be having trouble with memory cases, lacking knowledge on vocabulary, or something else entirely; but he tries his hardest to see things from your perspective, as he suddenly despises himself for the fact that he’s ridiculed you for it during past events. But as you still lack the average knowledge, it’s very much possible he would get ever more overprotective than he would before. Mainly due to him not trusting you to be able to protect yourself under these circumstances.

I would believe your emotional intelligence would come in the picture as soon as he tells you about his past trauma and current distrust with other beings. In all honesty, he just wanted to vent out his emotions a little. But it didn’t take long for him to realise that instead of giving him a confused stare, you went out of your way to comfort him to immense levels, even noticeably making rude remarks towards those who harassed him in the past. You’d explain your personal thinking on the situation and how he absolutely never deserved any of the torment he faced. Now it had been him who was currently giving you a visibly distraught expression, mainly as it actually caught him off guard by how well thought through your wording seemed to be on the spot. Were you even the same person? And this is what would only be the mere start of him completely opening up to you.

I believe this would be the one change that makes all the difference. You have the capability of understanding him and the things he went through. Instead of misinterpreting it, you almost seem to read him like an open book. Making it close to impossible for him to hide his current emotions to you. This new side of you makes him feel guilty in a way, as you’ve been mistaken as unintelligent and foolish by those around you for God knows how long. You weren’t dumb, you just held higher knowledge over the topics that were never spoken about. And to him, that just makes you extra special and mature in your own way

And those who continue to harass you for your quote on quote ‘dense’ demeanour? Well, let’s just say they’ll be the first to find out the actual damage a nine-tailed fox can provoke torwards those who encourage the more ... Hostile thinking in the back of his head. If anything, I can even see him getting defensive when the smallest and most innocent intended comments get thrown your way. I can literally smell Sonic’s harmless remark from a mile away and Nine’s already ready to kill the boy. He would truly put everything aside to ensure that you’re both safe and satisfied, even if this includes having to throw hands for the sake of your defense.

・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・

[blackjackkent]

Follow-on from my tag novel on this post speculating on the feasibility of Rion being Jaheira's bio kid, and her bio kid with Rasaad specifically (it's a rarepair but it's MY rarepair dammit):

#ETA: zenjestrr just pointed out to me that as a monk Rasaad would have Timeless Body feature which simplifies things physiologically XD#yay DND#it's more complicated than just that of course and now i'm resisting writing a whole essay about jaheira's thought processes#XD

@astreamofstars as always spoils me with prompting. XD Self-indulgent meta pondering ahead:

Fundamentally Jaheira is clearly STRONGLY torn between attachment to her kids/the city of Baldur's Gate and her natural wanderlust and attachment to nature rather than civilization. She clearly cares for Rion and the other kids in the same way that she cares for anything important to her: very strongly under the surface, but undemonstratively, and her emotions are nuanced and complicated by her own inner conflict and the amount that she has lost in the past.

Taking all this into consideration, I find it sort of hard to believe that Jaheira initially set out to have kids deliberately - with Khalid, with Rasaad (in my headcanon), or with anyone. Reasons being a) it would mean tying her down, b) she is acutely aware of the way a city (her birthplace) or a person (Khalid) can be taken away extremely abruptly and too many attachments can be dangerous, c) she has plenty of enemies, and d) in the case of any lover with a less-than-half-elven lifespan, there's a non-zero chance she would be taking care of the kid alone eventually.

This is particularly the case in the scenario of Rasaad. As I mentioned in the aforementioned tag novel, he COULD physically have kids with her pretty much right up until the end due to the Timeless Body monk feature, but that doesn't mean Jaheira would consider it a good idea. The feature specifically states that it doesn't stop you from dying of old age, just means you go out still in your prime. Hard to picture her deliberately choosing to have a kid with someone who (however virile he was) likely wouldn't see the kid's tenth birthday, given the series timeline and Rion's relative youth in BG3.

HOWEVER - there are three converse possibilities in this scenario:

1. Jaheira extended Rasaad's lifespan by making use of some low-level version of the Rite of the Timeless Body that we find in Elerrathin's Home. (subject of my previous post)

It's actually only now that I'm writing this post that I'm realizing that not only are they similar concepts but the Rite and the monk feature both literally use the SAME WORDS. However, Jaheira describes the Rite as being something that goes beyond what's described in the monk feature - "If they be learned and powerful enough, the practitioner of this ritual might slow their aging, extend their life well beyond its natural reach." So the Rite is something that not only maintain's the recipient's virility into old age but actively extends their lifespan.

The fact that both the Rite and the feature have the same name, though, only adds to my impression (in this headcanon/worldstate) that it would have been something she initially tried to leverage FOR Rasaad, to supplement his own body's natural abilities and give her more time with him (she says it's an esoteric druid thing but that doesn't mean it's true). Her dialogue suggests she never figured out how to use it to the full extent of its power for altruistic purposes, but that doesn't preclude the possibility that she could have had some success with the concepts at a lower level and closer to home.

Being able to draw Rasaad's lifespan at least closer to hers, if not equivalent, makes it somewhat more likely to me that she would see raising a family as a viable deliberate choice.

2. Emotion trumped practicality.

There is a line in the book Dune wherein Jessica considers why she allowed herself to conceive Alia with Leto when she knew Leto was a dead man walking.

And she permitted herself to face fully the significance of this other child growing within her, to see her own motives in permitting the conception. She knew what it was – she had succumbed to that profound drive shared by all creatures who are faced with death – the drive to seek immortality through progeny. The fertility drive of the species had overpowered them.

Like many things in Dune this is a rather, uh, clinical description of human behavior, but the emotional concept here is relevant, I think.

Jaheira is not (overtly) a sentimental person. But she feels things very deeply, nevertheless. I could see a scenario where the desire to see Rasaad and herself live on through children (as Khalid could not) became for a time stronger than her reservations about tying herself down.

Of the three possibilities this is the one that seems least likely/interesting to me for her character when taken by itself, but still quite possible.

3. Rion was an accident.

While a less overtly positive possibility than #1, this option becomes even more likely when Rasaad's aforementioned monk feature is taken into consideration. And actually as I've started thinking about it, I find it the most interesting likelihood, because it allows for options #1 and #2 to also resonate, and gives some context to her strained relationship with her daughter.

Scenario, then: In the late years of her relationship with Rasaad (or, more generally, any non-elven lover she might have taken post-BG2), Rion is conceived by accident. Jaheira starts pulling info on the Rite of the Timeless Body in the hopes of keeping him around longer; she's somewhat successful but not to the full capability of the rite. However, she finds herself too emotionally tied to him and to their child not to go through with continuing to raise her alone after Rasaad's death. End result is a scenario where she feels trapped by Rion but also loves her deeply, leading to the simultaneous strained relationship and deep connection evinced in BG3.

At this point, having one child and being already tied down to the city, it ends up being a slippery slope to taking in others who also need help, and she finds herself never able to quite extricate herself from the cycle or fully commit to it. She rejoins the Harpers in an attempt to re-ground herself in her adventuring life, which gives her a modicum of inner peace but also leaves Rion holding the sack when she is repeatedly called away to so-called "greater duties". End result: a fractured relationship both with her daughter and with herself, neither need able to quite take the upper hand.

Small wonder she was willing to throw herself into the battle against the Absolute, where for the first time perhaps since Irenicus, the completely necessary course was unmistakable.

TLDR: At least in my worldstate headcanon, Rion is Jaheira and Rasaad's biological daughter, conceived accidentally very late in Rasaad's life; the whole situation tore Jaheira in half emotionally and she has never quite figured out the right way to handle it.

[bettsfic]

Hi betts! Ive been finding your posts really motivating, they make me want to write more and more. So id really appreciate if you could give me advice for this problem!

I just dont know how to revise! Or maybe the problem is that i dont know how to write drafts that need revising.

Basically what happens is that i write a draft as fast and messily as i can. And then i reread it, and i really like it! So when i get around to fixing it up, i end up chopping out things just based off of vibes. And then i read that version, and i hate it! It shows a lot more technical skill for sure, and it coheres a lot more, but i feel that its completely lost its voice and style. I tend to write in fits of emotion, and i feel like any revising outside of that mindset just sort of... strips the text of its sincerity?

Where do i go from here? Its not easy to practice revision when its so disheartening!

When i attempt to write badly, it either turns out good enough that im scared to change it, or bad enough that im not interested in it anymore.

How do i revise a draft without removing the things i like about it? Do i just need to get better at identifying what i like about my work?

that's an interesting situation, anon. i guess my immediate question is, if you like what you write, why do you even want to revise?

in the 50s, the beats popularized this idea of "first thought, best thought," which basically means what goes on the page is what belongs there, and the first words that come to us are the right ones, not because they're good, but because they're first.

for your own purposes, for the sake of discovery, i think this is a great mentality. the process of invention is the purest practice of creativity. you're putting things on a page that weren't there before, and if you're doing that in a way you find satisfying, and if you're pleased with the results, then i think you should keep doing it. it seems to me like your willingness to revise and your ability to say, "no, i liked it better before," will naturally develop into a more dedicated revision practice. eventually you'll write the thing that makes you go, "wait a minute, that's not right," or maybe, "i like this, but it doesn't quite honor the story i want to tell." and those are the seeds of revision.

don't get me wrong, i'm a firm believer in revision. but more than that, i'm a believer in letting your joy guide you in any creative process. revision should feel good. you should want to revise. you may not always be eager to revise, but you should feel strongly enough about the nature of what you're creating that making it better will make you feel better. but if you don't want to revise, then you shouldn't feel obligated to.

still, if you want to get a sense of what revision can do to your work so that you can experiment and grow, i would recommend writing something short, maybe a thousand words or fewer. then put it down for a week, and rewrite it without looking at it again. put that down for a week too. then rewrite it a third time without looking at either previous draft.

when you have all three drafts, try to look at them with a discerning eye. which one overall is best and why? or if you can't tell, go through and highlight all the sentences you like and count them. whichever story has the most highlights wins.

sometimes revision isn't always about making something better. sometimes it's about approaching your work so many different ways that you've conceived all possible angles and chosen the one that's best. sometimes the first thought really is the best thought. but sometimes it's the fifth thought, or the tenth, or one that someone else has to bring to your attention. i think if you broaden your definition of revision to be "considering every way this thing can be written," it'll help guide you toward a process that works for you.

[naffeclipse]

Hi! Just finished with the Lost Episode! :D Firstly, I want to say I did tear up a little ngl! (But the good kind, promise! I appreciate stories that can pull that off!)

So many emotions! The hunter really got hit from all sides huh? Which I guess in a way helped because having their attention so divided prevented a solid reaction about, well, everything. The waking up as a vampire, their friend not wanting to let go, then their friend being a whole Demon (or two whole halves of a demon?), the thirst that was taking so much of their focus (and which is now basically a source of self-loathing), the dilemma of cryptids being able to feel so much more, AND basically a confession of feelings from their friend, you know, the Demon. Not to mention the morality crisis they are probably going to be dealing with for A While.

I imagine that the whole turmoil also made it way easier to accept the true nature of Sun and Moon. They were offering comfort, and god, did y/n seriously needed that. They were first shown the caring side of them. And also the offer they make as a solution makes sense. They will kill evil people regardless, so y/n only has to take advantage of it. Of course it's not perfect, because they feel really strongly about protecting even bad humans, and I can imaging that on an emotional level, feeding will probably be the part they hate the most about their new existence.

Not even to mention the things they will realize they miss with time. I imagine they no longer will be able to eat any food even for pleasure. The warmth of the Sun, that is now lethal to them. They will have to be very careful around other people, not even knowing how often they need to feed, so they will have to be even more reclusive than before. They lost their friendship with Vanessa. I imagine those days will be the tougher ones, the ones when they struggle to keep their promise the most. Their reflection also being something they probably will have mixed feelings about. I almost thought the one in the bathroom would be broken or at least covered, but I guess that might just make it more difficult for them to get used to it instead of helping in any way.

I do like the hopeful ending! The next days especially will be the toughest to come, but they have their demon that promised them they won't let them turn into a monster, and provide comfort when they need it (which will probably be often). They still have a sense of purpose, to protect from other dangerous cryptids, though they will probably have to leave their contractor soon for their safety and secure other means to find their hunts. And maybe even discover other kinds of joys in this new life! They are stronger now, have better senses. Maybe they can get to experience a walk at night through a forest like they never did before. Maybe they'll get to hear sounds that suddenly seem more clear and wonderful than before. Maybe they'll get to see the stars and notice so much more that their human eyes couldn't before. Who knows! It's for them to discover now.

All in all, awesome chapter! Glad it's not canon, but very glad it exists and that I got to read it!

Hey, babe! Oh my gosh, that makes me so happy to hear that ;-; I'm really glad it's the good kind, too ♥

Ahh, that's exactly it! Y/N is getting slammed with one world-twisting event right after the other and basically has to go "Okay" because how does one process everything like that all at once?? But it did help soften the blow of Sun/Moon's true nature revealed, so that's one good thing out of that entire mess! I believe I've said this before but the canon reveal will go differently than in The Lost Episode. Very differently.

Oh yes, Y/N is not going to be okay with drinking blood for a long time, if at all. It's just so haunting and despicable by its nature, but, Y/N promised to stay, so they're going to do their best to adapt, even if they hate themselves for it.

Y/N's going to miss the Sun the most, but they do have Sun to make up for it ♥

Awww, yes, I love that! Sun/Moon showing Y/N the good things about their new state of existence and how their senses can reveal so many beautiful things, too ;-;

Thank you so much for reading!!! ♥ ♥ ♥

[captainaikus]

hi belle !!! i felt like i had to come in and clear things up since the lil discourse started in my ask box lol and now i feel bad :,( in no way do i feel like there was any sort of even the slightest inspiration taken from the asks on my acc ! we've even talked abt it a bit here on ur blog lol (and i still need to reply 2 u, too 😭) so i'd also be thankful if the discourse stopped altogether cuz i strongly believe coincidents happen and i do not even feel like the idea was mine in any way so !

i hope what i said makes sense :// even i myself dont see any issue with this situation and i am absolutely frothing at the mouth to read interrupted lol SO with that being said, i hope the whole discussion dies down <3 im so sorry it ruined ur mood, sending u the biggest hugs rn ! :(

Thanks for dropping in and clearing the air, Zari

And yes, it does make sense. There are so many times when i see people literally paraphrasing my work and making plot lines with a similar synopsis as mine; like the other day i was going to call this author out in the bllk fandom and i spoke to my friend about it with screenshots and everything. And after thinking about it realized that erotica and romance are not unique genres and that includes dark content as well so themes can overlap and at the end of the day- it is not literally published work.

I'm not a fan of discourse myself tbh. and i don't understand why most people don't take it with a sense of rationality?

I've been on tumblr for over 4 years now, yes I started here when i was 16 and began posting last year. When i was at 250 followers, i released a fic and the idea was stolen by an author who had over 10,000 follows+ than me (who i had interacted with) and it went at a very fast pace of gaining over 170 likes in two hours or maybe less. I know what it feels like to have your work taken away from you and used by someone else for the purpose of their content. Why would i wish that on anyone else? Most of my followers follow blogs apart from mine that have blue lock content. so if i did copy someone's idea, they would notify me about it; and even if i knew that you had an idea like this in your blog i would have never used it as we're both writers for the same fandom. It would literally give me nothing but backlash from readers and ruin a reputation i've spent time building here -causing me emotional instability which is the last thing i want for myself (since i have already got a lot going irl) given the fact that hate spreads more faster than being liked; speaking from experience since i have seen enough number of discourses take place here and also on how bad it can get.

And even late last year, i had a whole wip list out for different fandoms including haikyuu and other animes that i watched, explaining what the fic was about and everything. But even that got taken away from me (one of the anons dropped a word for word title in the inbox of a famous author/ writer here + it turned up in the 'x reader' tags) so i rarely discuss what fic i'm going to write next and just decide to keep it a secret and release it when its done.

Thanks again for dropping in Zari (hope you enjoy reading 0^^0 *sending hugs back*); and since the discourse has been settled by both of us, on further notice any ask regarding 'interrupted' will be deleted.

[vencyrus]

i wholeheartedly believe that everyone who puts themselves in the public eye should have one really fucked up opinion that is not bad enough to get them cancelled but is still absolutely awful just as a treat.

omfg i typed this whole thing out and i might be a little bit insane reading it back

mine is that i wholeheartedly believe that necro📁ia is the ultimate form of love and revenge

to love someone so much; so much that you miss their touch, their embrace, their warmth. an unquenchable thirst that leads you to insanity yet you still try. you defile what remains but it is no longer them.

their touch is different, they dont reach back towards you, its nothing but cold. you have performed the ultimate desecration, yet it leaves you empty.

but in a similar vein, when you hold so much hatred in your heart that even when they are no longer of this world; they are gone and have nothing left to lose, what is left to take?

the sanctity of what little remains of them. it may not belong to them anymore but the vessel still remains sacred. oh, to taint it with your hatred in the most vile way possible would be truly cathartic.

i find myself incapable of feeling so strongly towards someone. i can never love someone enough to go to such lengths but i could never hate someone so much that death is not a satisfying end for me.

i envy those capable of such strong emotion. to destroy everything in my path just to get someone, whether it be love or hate. to dedicate my everything to them, make them my entire lifes purpose. then to find them taken from me, perhaps to take them myself, just to find myself yearning for more. wouldnt that be poetic?

[lilac-udon]

Vivinos handle stories better than I thought. google translation (I talk too much, short read goes to the (3) part

(3) Why did I think Till would die before? If r7 revealed his relationship, his prospective with Ivan, his story would probably be over. Till whom entered the finals had already sang 3 songs, which is already the highest presence than all the other characters (Mizi 2 songs, ivan 2 songs, sua1 songs exclude sweet dream, luka 2 songs, hyuna 1 songs) . His status as a supporting role is going to overpower, greater than the heroine at this rate. BUT! After watching round 7, I really think vivions was doing this unfulfilling ending to suppressed tills over presenceness and use it as a shock factor. He had the opportunity to exit a little but also the opportunity to continue telling his story if not kill him now. There was metaphor that Mizi might be see no evil, till is speak no evil. Based on the comparison of all in cover posters, I think he may lose his voice, suppressing his scene-stealing but also giving him a chance to continue his story!

----------------------

I originally thought that r7 will be about till's perspective and emotional explanation, then till would be written dead to balancing the story. But after the video I heavily believed that he is not dead because his story is not mentioned at all nor completed. (which is why a lot of us expressed such unfair feeling of losing till)

To me Alien stage always the story structure is very unbalanced, the protagonist is not focus nor have a huge present enough, Sua the suppose girlfriend becomes a mystery with no more scenes, resulting the lack of attachment we can have for mizi compared to others. If not handle right this can be a flaw but now, I give it credit as they are trying a nontraditional way of writing. To me there is a very complete character that steal the show, Ivan. His purpose is clear, straightforward. Just two songs explain the entire purpose of his life, simple, dedicated till. This makes the audience empathize and focus on till after his passing. Most audience expected tills responded and more of till prospective even though he is not the main character. Of course, the doom yaoi definitely boost the popularity, but I personally feel beside that Ivan is written very strong and unbalanced currently, it steals so much of the spotlight. We know more about Ivan intention than mizi. But at the same time, I think his story is completed. Although I don't want to, I feel like he is the one that is more "dead"(will not return) than sua.

Its coping but I seriously don't feel sad when I finished round7 bc I strongly believed this is a shock factor, but yeah it also just wishful thinking

[j0kers-light]

J with pets/maybe specifically a dog head canons, GO!

Hi anon 🤍✨

I read this ask and literally burst into tears thinking about my furbaby. Is it okay if I dedicate this to J? (Yes, my dog’s name was J, no correlation to Joker tho)

I am not sorry this is literally my fur baby down to the tail wag! I just copied and pasted from my memories. I miss him so much and this brought back so many happy times. Crying is good for the soul but my eyes are gonna be swollen tomorrow at this rate.

I think my J and Joker would’ve gotten along wonderfully. J was a sweet yet demonic boy always getting into trouble while giving me countless laughs and plenty of scars. This one's for you J. 🤍✨

Canon Joker/Harley own two hyenas as pets and in the Dark Knight, Joker had dogs protecting him in the final scene against Batman. So it's only natural that Joker goes out and adopts a dog(s) to protect you when he’s not around.

Does your apartment allow pets? They do now. Joker bribes/threatens management to change the policy.

I’m talking big boys too! Like German Shepherd, Great Dane, Rottweiler, Siberian Husky etc. just to name a few. Pick one, because Joker will if you don’t. If you’re short, they easily come up to your chest and if you’re tall, well past your hip.

If by some chance big dogs aren’t your thing, (I strongly believe any size dog can protect) you lean more towards common household breeds like a Beagle, any terrier, Corgi, Maltese, Dachshund, etc.

Regardless of the breed, Joker trains the dog with an eerie military-like regiment. Fully potty trained, independent, highly intelligent; it's almost like the dog is human with how well it responds to you. The fur baby can be a service dog if it really wants to be! It protec, it attac, but most importantly, it comforts you on the lonely nights when Joker isn’t at home.

You were scared of this big dog at first. It snarled at you whenever you came too close, refused to let you pet him, the whole nine yards– (why did Joker get you such a mean doggie?) until you sucked it up and made it love you.

Like full on dog whisperer transformation. Now the two of you are inseparable! He’s the best boy for his mommy. All the tummy rubs and head scratches he could ever ask for! Joker is noT jealous… 👀

Joker was indifferent towards the animal for the longest, I mean, its sole purpose is for security. Why does he need to nurture it?

But coming home and seeing you laying on the couch with this massive dog serving as your personal weighted blanket, Joker slowly starts to warm up to the furry companion.

If it makes his Bunny happy then he can accept the dog can also double as an emotional support animal but it still has a job to do. Your safety is the number one priority here.

Imagine! You leave for a trip and ask Joker to dog sit for the week. What could possibly go wrong?

Joker wasn’t worried about looking after the mutt, he trained it well so he’s gone most of the time, leaving the dog alone in the apartment. Potty breaks are done on the balcony and you splurge on an automated water and food dispenser set on a timer. What else is there to do? You mentioned walks but Joker ain’t got time for that. He’s a busy criminal.

You really didn’t think this through.

Joker spent the last day chilling on the couch watching TV, waiting for six pm to roll around so he could ‘go to work’ when he hears the soft tink tink tinks of paws on your hardwood floors.

He hadn’t heard the dog all week, he kind of forgets it’s in the apartment, they’re so quiet.

Joker hates the sound of barking. That was the first lesson they were trained on. Silence.

Joker’s green eyes roam over to the dog that jumps on the couch and proceeds to take up well over half a section due to its massive size.

“No. Get down!” Joker calls to the animal, only to get an audible huff in response.

Did this dog just huff at him?

Joker tries again in a more authoritative voice, “I said.. GeT, down. Now.”

And again, it huffs and curls up for a quick nap. Using Joker’s lap as a pillow.

Joker is two seconds away from tossing the deaf mutt across the room but checks himself with a deep breath.

You would never forgive him if he harmed your beloved baby. This was a grown dog by the way, ain’t no baby to be found. You’ve been hard at work sabotaging the meticulous training Joker drilled into this mutt. The dog has fully transitioned into a pampered lifestyle.

Your furbaby may be spoiled but make no mistake. He still protec his mama when push came to shove.

Any deliveries to the penthouse are scared away by the massive dog answering the door. LEAVE IT AT THE FRONT DESK. Save everyone the trouble, mkay?

But anyways.. All this pampering, who’s such a good boy, thousands of treats, scheduled walks, and the fact that you let it sleep in the bed with you, wasn’t helping its true purpose! What did you do to your primary line of defense? This was a guard dog, not a show puppy!

Joker tried freeing his legs out from under the dog's weight, but it hardly budged. If anything it just snored louder.

Nothing was moving the giant and Joker could only imagine if there was an active intruder what the lazy animal would do. Absolutely nothing! That’s what.

Joker growled at being trapped on the couch but let things be. Tomorrow morning he was reprogramming this slouch back to the feral, home defense animal he trained it to be.

Completely unrelated: Joker fell asleep on the couch with the dog practically smothering him. 8/10 good night’s rest. Would do it again.

Morning came around and Joker dragged himself into the kitchen for a bite to eat only to find the dog already eating out of the customized doggie bowl you purchased online. You spoiled the mutt like it was a child! There was a tray with a non-slip mat to catch any spills but the dog ate delicately (something it picked up from you no doubt) and eyed him in passing.

Another unimpressed huff.

Could dogs even have attitudes? And after it had the audacity to use Joker like a pillow all night! Joker wouldn’t admit it aloud, but he could see why you nuzzled up to the mutt often. It made for a good cuddle buddy…

But Joker had a reputation to uphold!

He really wanted to punt kick the darn thing across the room but fixed himself a bite to eat instead. Once he finished they would make their way outside onto the balcony for some offensive training.

The man and dog found themselves outside where Joker wasted no time trying to retrain the dog into attacking if placed into such situations. But much to Joker’s shock, the dog found a squeaky toy penguin from your sunroom and played with it, completely ignoring Joker altogether. The constant sharp squeaks only made Joker angrier.

“Noooo it's noT playtimeee. You don’t play. You attack. You’re supposed to protect my Light ya big, overgrown..” Just then, Joker’s phone rang with your smiling face on the display.

Speak of an angel and you shall appear.

He answered the phone call and your voice floated on the breeze in greeting. Joker didn’t notice the dog’s ears perk up hearing you as well. It abandoned its toy to investigate.

“How are my boys doing?”

Joker grumbled but collapsed into a patio chair. “I’m bored without cha here, Bunny. You bro-ke the uh guard dog.”

“The what? You mean J?” You replied.

“...... uh noT me. The mutt I boughT to keep you safe.”

“J is not a mutt. He’s a (insert selected breed). But what do you mean he’s broken? Is J okay? Oh! I forgot to tell you about his midnight snack! He gets grumpy if you don’t let him brush his teeth before bed. It's a greenie rawhide I keep on top of the fridge...”

“You named it after me?”

“Stop calling J an it. He has a name; and not everything is about you. J is short for um… that doesn’t matter right now! Is he okay?” You heard the distinctive sound of a dog collar chiming in the background.

At least he was nearby. Joker hadn’t killed your tootsie roll yet which was a miracle in itself. Joker only had compassion for you, no one else.

“Light you sound more wor-ried about the, uh, dog than meee.” Joker whined through the phone.

How could you forget about your bigger baby? Joker was known for his bouts of jealousy. It was both cute and annoying. You rolled your eyes.

“I’m worried about both of my boys. Mama will be home soon so don’t fight each other! Oh, and can you do me a huge favor? Can you give J a bath? I know you can’t take him to his grooming appointment but he’s due for a love scrub. Everything is in the storage cabinet in the bathroom labeled in the order I use it in.” It was a stretch, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask.

“No.”

Yeah, you knew Joker wouldn’t go for it. “Please J?”

Joker watched the dog circle around the chair that he was seated in, a clear sign of restlessness. Maybe it picked up the stress in your voice? He watched its tail wag slowly in the air, trying to pinpoint where your voice was coming from. But with each passing minute it failed to find its owner, it gave up and sat by Joker’s heels.

Joker returned his focus back on the phone call. “Are ya asking me or the dog?”

“Ugghhghghgh you’re impossible to deal with! Hey I gotta go, the event is about to resume. Please bathe my baby and you better take a bath too, J! I saw the news earlier.. see you tomorrow!”

You hung up the phone before Joker could speak up.

The nerve you had. He’d have to punish you when you returned home from your business trip. He did quite a bit of evading the GCPD while working this week and could use a good shower but as for bathing the mutt?

His green eyes locked with the piercing black already staring at him. The dog licked its mouth and wagged its tail, waiting for its promised love scrub. He heard his Mama loud and clear. He never skipped a wash day.

Guess there was no avoiding this. Joker wondered if he could call Frost and his daughter to handle this…

You returned home the next day to quite the sight. J was on the loose, wet as a mop, with a distressed Joker stalking behind him, equally drenched.

Joker was a simp that couldn’t say no to you. He had no other choice but to bathe your dog or suffer your cold shoulder.

Joker stopped dead in his tracks when he spotted you still in your GothCon ensemble, standing in the doorway. You were doing a terrible job masking your peals of laughter.

“This… this. Oh… this is noT, funny doll.” He warned.

You burst out laughing when J came to greet you and shook himself dry, spraying Joker and the room with wet dog water. This was priceless!! And Joker looked ready to kill something. Hopefully not your beloved furbaby.

“I regreT buying you a dog.”

[godzexperiment]

*finger guns in oh this is tragic thoughts regarding nix* ~this one is not light in the slightest/pretty fucked up and heavy~

(mostly his like non watered down/main background but sure trickles in other verses etc)

-okay but the weight? of how he has to listen, even if he is actively tuning it out... it'll still tuck away into his brain and him being able to understand his maker's disjointed rants/rambles just means absorbing it all endlessly even if there is no intent for him to soak it up.

-which also the way it affects him for the rest of forever (here is your purpose, you never asked for and will affect you hearby for the rest of forever) remembering cruel words, kind words those last sounds of dying breathes stick forever or the laughter of somebody who can't stand him *the voice of his maker, spoken words of an long gone being*

-imagine your sole purpose being to listen to the entity who created all of creation; constantly critique it and grumble about your siblings yet it makes you so quick to defend even at the cost of your own being+possible erasure out of existence

-the way he was created to be pretty unfeeling more or less; only to be so emotional? especially when his maker has weaponized/tested emotional things on him? 'what would it be like to give an angel intense heartbreak' -nix in agony clawing at the floor just kind of like we didn't need to test this theory this way- so very caring in contrast to his maker's growing apathy

-watch me punish the humans, my angels for mild annoyances and nix just like :( watch me get my ripped out heart handed to me for suggesting maybe we don't go damaging creation in That Way for such minor nothing little things

-getting sent down to handle the "antichrist" mainly as another morbid lesson/an 'well i cant destroy you or i'd be down an punching bag+obligated listener so i'll break your soul another way' and nix just so rebellious hearted but being given the space to fail or succeed (maybe he manages- but then comes the death of some nature and god just yanking him back+erasing it all only leaving pieces of the suffering behind)

-knowing the darker aspects/side, the Wrath and far less of the nature his siblings associate with their maker yet not resenting any of them for it. as he sure knows they've got other issues like having to carry out their orders. go through horrors sometimes entirely avoidable. so it's not like anybody is thriving; just so much hurt and dragging out an abandonment inevitable.

-the way he is like 'yeah no what really haunts me is his apathy; that I might have soaked that and all the other horrors right up' because he sees so much beauty in everything (is it evil to see so much beauty in mortals sustaining the earth when they're gone or not blink at death sometimes etc)

-seeing so much beauty, so much love only for so much horror+damage to exist inside him and still be possible (new pains in actual heartbreak, in possible rejection by siblings or them fighting- in not being mind wiped after loving somebody only to lose their inevitable mortal soul) how wounds on Earth, hurt different than wounds in Heaven etc

-and if gets tossed the 'here creation is yours to look after' the labor of such an weight on him? the way it very much would feel like an punishment some parting 'okay so you care so much- meddle as you wish' *doesnt send him to earth either just thoughtlessly or to put lemon juice in the cut*

how of course nix would willingly do so/promise to regardless (even though he is very much not suited for the task+believes strongly in letting people make their own dumb choices etc so it's all so odd and draining is so many ways)

-perpetually exhausted, forever haunted and scarred in every meaning of the word seeming to collect even more babey boy who could desperately use love+kindness and being cared about would 100% sob hysterically if anybody were to go 'its not all on you' in especially the direct way

[bsotted]

like. imagine there was another word that just meant “gay” that got really popular. lets say the new word they decided to use was blay. and the people who identify with blay take every opportunity to make sure you know theyre not gay. and you ask them what makes blay different from gay and they say i’m so glad you asked. blay is actually trans inclusive, unlike gay. people who identify as blay are attracted to men AND trans men, because trans men obviously as we all are aware don’t fall under the umbrella of men unless you other them on purpose in order to be inclusive. anyway can you imagine being one of those transphobic gays that wont date trans people? what do you mean gay men date trans people all the time and it doesn’t invalidate their sexual orientation? of course it would i mean how could you say youre attracted to men since that obviously excludes trans people since trans men aren’t REAL men? I mean oops, hearts not parts! 😘 hahaha i’m so glad i’m not one of those lusty horny dirty sex obsessed gays who will sleep with literally anyone. i’m so proud to be one of the wholesome pure ones who actually values creating an emotional connection with my partner, since as we all know thats not what gayness is, its nasty and depraved and loveless and so widespread as a sinful phenomenon that i need a different word to make the point that i’m not like that. here, look at this flag i made for us!

like we can all see how that stance is both transphobic AND homophobic right. like we can see how the aids crisis and purity culture and whiteness created this construct right. youre trying so hard to be inclusive you’ve wrapped all the way back around to totally offensive.

like we know that queer people are capable of being queerphobic. so what can you possibly say to someone whose internalized homophobia goes so deep that even once they realize they belong in community with the rest of us they still feel the need to make up a whole other word to make sure no one confuses them for one of us? like how can you tell your gym class bully who beats you up for acting gay that the reason he’s so triggered by you just existing is because it reminds him of the things he used to do that his dad beat him so badly for that just the memory of it makes it painful and terrifying to see someone else just living their life not performing masculinity to that same standard. you cant teach him that because he’s actively beating you to a pulp. he needs to hear it from someone he either respects or fears and unlearn the homophobia first, because he’s homophobic while gay. and so how can you tell someone who still uses pan in 2023 that what they're doing is harmful when they think they're singlehandedly protecting the correct gender and sanctity of the rest of the community by doing so?

and the worst part is that using pan does NOTHING to protect you from the homophobia of the people who are bound and determined to be homophobic. the loved ones you’re most afraid of because you’re scared to be lumped in with actual bisexuals will need you to define your microlabel anyway. when they google it and find out it includes same sex attraction under is umbrella they will not be impressed that you're trying to be "trans inclusive" about it. if they were going to be bigots in the first place using pan instead of bi isnt going to fucking save you from them. and in your heart you know that and thats why you use pan primarily to signal to the rest of the community that you're One Of The Good Ones because your comfort depends on it but instead the ONLY thing you’re accomplishing is alienating the people who want to welcome you to the community so badly.

and look. nobody has to use any label. you don’t have to use any word at all if you dont want to, all words are equally made up. but if you are really really really attached to using pan. please ask yourself seriously why you are resisting bisexual so strongly and what you believe about bisexuality that is leading you there. if you really believe bisexuality isn’t trans inclusive please take another look at google. if you really believe bisexuals literally just date any person and don’t care what they’re like as people and are all promiscuous and that that is bad, please take a deep breath and look around and really try to internalize that you are not in the basement of your church at youth group anymore. the folding chairs are gone and you’re safe. and try to think about who taught you that was true and why they might have wanted you to believe that. use your brain. use your smartphone. if you’re looking at this post you have access to the internet.

and please know that this is a message that i am delivering with as much love as i am capable of as a person who USED to identify as pan. i know these things are true because i used to think this way and someone brave and kind but a little sick of the bullshit gave me a wake up call. this community has space for you, i promise.

i'm REALLY tired of celebs coming out with this energy of having been sitting on their truth for a long time and deliberating but going to the media and then choosing to use the pan label i'm so fucking tired dog i'm so sick of it. just admit that you dont see trans people as their real gender but instead as a sub-class of men or women and that you don't understand what nonbinary means. just admit that you believe bisexual is a dirty gross label because the biphobic rhetoric worked on you. christ.

[kaseyskat]

hmm. so i've seen lots of debating and complaining about amphibia s2, s3, and the handling of the characters, and since it's nearly midnight i don't have enough self-control to stop myself from making a little post about my own feelings, if that is something y'all are interested in reading about.

so the biggest discourse that i have admittedly mainly seen on twitter is this: should marcy be mentioned more in the s3 narrative, and should we be just as salty for the way sasha was handled in the s2 narrative?

and my answer is yes... and no.

here is the thing about post s1 through s2 sasha: i think she was made to be likeable, but not inherently sympathetic. you see her primarily threatening anne's family and way of life, being manipulative, and having her worst qualities being actively encouraged. this is why, i think, her self-sacrifice in reunion WORKED: it was unexpected for sasha, a character who had tried to murder sprig not five minutes before this, to want to sacrifice herself for someone else. this was the start of sasha's development as a character that you the audience were supposed to like.

and here's the thing. we have gotten more reactions to sasha's sacrifice than marcy's. this is an indisputable fact, i think. we got anne breaking down crying about it, we got the callback in the premiere showing anne is still thinking about it and has actively chosen to compartmentalize and shove it away in a box where she isn't thinking about it, and we got marcy immediately asking about sasha's whereabouts. we got the episode where sasha's presence is felt, and though it isn't brought up much, there is still that sense of feeling like sasha is there in the text because we have the clues, we know that the girls are thinking about her.

marcy... has not gotten that yet. nobody broke down crying over her fate on screen. we have anne insisting she's alive and pretending to herself through the whole of s3a, which does set up that compartmentalizing trait that she first had in s2ep1. we have sasha bringing marcy up twice... and then never again, not even on the topic of defeating andrias. they haven't addressed that marcy's lack of presence in the group feels odd the way that anne and marcy did during sleepover, and they certainly haven't acknowledged the way that marcy was left in the hands of a tyrant.

however, that doesn't mean her presence isn't inherently felt, it is just far more indirect than sasha's was in s2. it's a lot more subtle, but especially as the season draws closer and closer to its climax, i do believe it's intentional that the writers aren't talking about marcy at all. you see, amphibia loves making conflict so very direct and pointed! anne doesn't think about sasha's betrayal on her own accord until sasha's right in front of her, and therefore it is within her character not to think about what happened with marcy until it is also in her face and impossible to ignore. i bet next episode will increase that tension of "marcy should be here but she's not and i don't like it", because that IS the intention, i do believe we the audience are supposed to be uncomfortable with this situation! because this way, it makes the devastation of what will happen when anne and sasha find out about darcy hit us just as hard as it hits them. they did this with sasha in reunion and the third temple, they did it with marcy in true colors, and it IS going to happen again.

[enchantestuff]

rekindle - rbr sebastian vettel

in which after a long time apart, you and Sebastian rekindle your love for one another in the least romantic place you could think of - a sweaty, packed nightclub

NOT MY GIF!!

warnings: public sex (ofc), fingering, teasing, lowkey angst at the start, nicknames, uncomfy ex, sebastain Vettel deserves a warning himself, happy sinning

taglist: @theringers​ @forestviper201 @icemanhoneybadger​ @formulamei @findthelightinyourlife

3.1k words

You smirked as your eyes met from across the club for what felt like the hundredth time that night. You hadn't seen him in over a year, the last time you were even in the same country as him had ended up with you climbing into a taxi, speeding away to the airport and him standing half naked in his driveway, wishing for the car to turn around and end his worst nightmare.

The relationship between you and Sebastsian was a complicated one to say the least. You had grown up with each other, your families vacationed together every second summer and you spent many christmases together. It was only when you got older that you started to really appreciate Sebastian.

Daydreams of what it would be like to spend a night in bed with him began to fill your free moments. Images of the two of you tangled in bed was once something that you could only dream about, but that dream certainly became a reality one unforgettable night in Italy.

It was during a celebratory dinner after yet another win that he had leaned over to talk to you. His lips brushed against the side of your neck and goosebumps had risen all over your skin, you cursed yourself for your reaction but soon began praising your childish antics once Sebastian finally caught onto how you felt about him.

The few words of “do i make you nervous, liebe?” led to the two of you making out in the corridor. That celebratory dinner escalated to a friends with benefits situation which set off a more than complicated relationship between the two of you where feelings were of course present, but stubbornness from both sides refused to let them be out in the open.

Your feelings for one another eventually escaped when he got into a nasty crash in the middle of a race. You ran up to him the minute he stormed into the garage, tears welling in your eyes as you crushed into a hug. He held you with just as much force and whispered into your ear what you had been waiting for months to hear.

He told you that you had been the only thing on his mind when he crashed into the wall and he didn't want to go a minute longer without telling you how he really felt about you

As much as you wanted things to be great with Sebastain, your relationship was unfortunately not plain sailing from there and the media had a bring role to play in your downfall. They wouldn't leave him or you alone, constantly following the two of you wherever you went and even going as far as sending mail to your shared home. It was the media that drove you to leave the man you adored and move to another country in search for a new career and a new life away from the public eye.

You stared at him now, unable to tear your eyes away from his beautiful frame. He looked as good as ever and you knew deep down that you would probably never see him again. So against your brain telling you not to, you engraved every detail of his face into your memory, not wanting to let him go just yet.

You felt horrible for leaving him and strongly believed that he hated you for abandoning him. You wouldn't have blamed him if he did, you sometimes hated yourself for that decision. So you kept your distance from him all night, repeatedly telling yourself that if he did not harbor any bad emotions towards you, then he would approach you himself.

To tell the truth, you were too embarrassed to go up to him yourself, too full of guilt to face him after what you had done. But when he made eye contact with you as he pulled a girl into his body, something inside you snapped and you found yourself being dragged into an all too familiar game of cat and mouse with him.

Your night of teasing had officially begun the minute he kissed the brunette's neck, refusing to break your stare as his hands ran up and down her hips. You decided it was your turn to reciprocate the teasing and pulled a random, but still handsome, man towards you to dance. Holding your gaze with him, you allowed the man to grip onto your hips and sway from side to side. Your ass pressing against him with every beat of the music.

You maintained eye contact with him as he chatted with multiple women, his hands resting dangerously low on their backs as he smirked in your direction, you hated how much you loved his little games.

You decided to take a dance break and stepped away from the claustrophobic dance floor. Moving towards the less packed bar, you leaned against the contour top as you ordered yet another drink. The feeling of hands wrapping around your hips didn’t surprise you, nor did the hot breath fanning across the back of your neck. You were used to the warmth of Seb’s body by now and after so much time apart, you still recognized his touch.

“Quite a show you put on back there,” he muttered, gesturing to the bartender for another drink before turning his attention back towards you. You kept your face forward, staring at the variety of liquor stacked on the shelves as Sebastian flirted with you in your ear. He was still positioned behind you, which you saw as the perfect opportunity to press your ass against his crotch.

The tightening of his grip only fueled you to press yourself further into him in hopes that you would emit an even stronger reaction from him, and boy did you get what you wanted. One of his hands rested underneath your breast and as he emitting a small amount of pressure against you, he forced you into him.

No longer leaning against the counter, you could now feel the entirety of his body pressed against you. Every vein and muscle. Every curve and dent of his body, Still, that didn't stop you from wiggling your bum against him.

“Are you trying to turn me on right now, love, or are you really that fucking oblivous?”

You twisted your head to finally look at him, momentarily taken aback by his pure beauty before regaining your confidence again. “That depends,” you hummed, purposely brushing your lips against his neck as you spoke, “Is it working?”

His hold on you tightened and somehow he pulled you even closer to him, allowing you to feel every inch and vein of his hardened cock. “Someones excited,” you smiled, immediately freezing up when you caught sight of your ex boyfriend standing next to you.

He was the man you had been with before Seb and it was safe to say he had completely broken your heart.

Confusion immediately filled Sebs body at your reaction, fearful he had done something wrong he moved to stand beside you, holding onto your bicep as he looked you in your eyes. “Are you alright, darling?” he questioned, his eyes bouncing back and forth as he searched your face for any indication of pain.

“Yeah its - “

“Y/N! Great to see you.” Dread immediately filled your body at the infamous voice, you felt yourself go rigid in Sebastian's grip and desperately wished for your ex to leave the two of you alone.

“Who's this douche?” Seb whispered in your ear, trying to relive some of your tension and comfort you in what seemed to be a terribly uncomfortable situation.

“Brad, hey,” you muttered, you grabbed hold of Sebastian's hand that was previously sprawled on the bar countertop, using the warmth of his touch as a confidence booster to finally turn around and face the brutal ex.

“How have you been?” he asked, refusing to even glance at the Redbull driver next to you, focusing his hungry gaze on you and you only.

You sighed deeply at his attempt of small talk. Could he not just say hello and move on? Did he really need to interrupt your night.

Sebastian kept a close eye on you throughout your short conversation. A sense of protectiveness filled him at your rigid stance, he knew you could handle the situation yourself but he couldn't help but want to aid you. He felt the need to get involved. So he did.

He didn’t let you answer the man's next question of what you had recently been up to, instead he grabbed hold of the side of your face, his fingers dipping into the nape of your neck as he pulled you into him. He grinned smugly at the worried glance you threw his way before connecting your lips together.

The kiss was hesitant at first.

Taking into account this was your first shared kiss together since the breakup, it felt both natural and unusual to be kissing him again, but as the seconds passed you found yourself relaxing in his hold and began kissing him back with much more force.

You lost yourself in the moment, the idea of your ex boyfriend watching you make out with your other ex boyfriend didn't even cross your mind. You solely focused on the way Sebastian’s lips felt against yours after such a long time apart. He was addicting.

Your eyes fluttered open when he pulled away, blushing slightly at the sheepish look he threw your exes way. “What were you saying, mate?” he confidently asked.

The feeling of his palm burned against your cheek and you couldn't even bring yourself to look at Brad, but you didn't need to as he just stumbled away, clearly intimidated by Sebastian.

There was no need for you to say anything to Seb - if the way you were teasing him earlier on in the evening was of no indication to how you felt about him - then the lustful look you were giving him now certainly was.

He immediately pulled you back into him, your lips reconnecting in a lustful kiss. With no more awkwardness surrounding the two of you, you found yourself enjoying it even more.

Moving one of his hands down your body, Sebastian forcefully squeezed your bum which emitted a gasp from you, allowing him to slip his tongue into your mouth, further deepening the kiss. He pressed his body against yours and your hands raked across it, feeling his muscles flex against your hands.

You moaned into his mouth the minute he dug his hips into you, the feeling of his body so close to you bringing you back to when the two of you dated. Confusion filled you when he pulled away, ending your lovely make out session and disappointing you tremendously. “Don't start what you can't finish, love” he warned, leaning down to scatter kisses across your chest, nipping and licking at every exposed area.

“Who says I can't finish this?” you remarked, grinning at the way his eyebrows rose at your statement.

“Look around us, darling” he stood up straighter, craning his neck to glance from side to side, taking into account the multiple people surrounding the two of you. Hundreds of people filled the room, hundreds of eyes that could possibly witness something. Hundreds of reasons why the two of you shouldn't get ahead of yourselves. But then again, when he looked back at you and the playful pout that crossed your features - he found himself making up a hundred different reasons as to why it was such a brilliant idea.

“But then again,” he continued, leaning closer to you in order to whisper in your ear, “that's never stopped us before.”

A shiver ran up your spine at his words, images flashing through your mind of previous encounters the two of you had in the most inappropriate areas. Cutting your daydream short, Sebastian grabbed hold of your hand and guided you up the stairs to the more secluded vip area.

The bouncer merily glanced at Sebastian before lifting the red velvet rope and letting the two of you in. Nodding a small thanks to the man, he continued his journey into the dimly lit area, a content hum leaving his lips at the sight of a small booth in the corner.

He sat down on the plush seats and you fell down to sit on top of him, the lower half of your body covered by the wooden table in front of you. Sebastian wasted no time in kissing your neck, unable to detach himself from your skin for more than a few moments.

Your head fell back onto his shoulder, watching the small group of people ahead of you dancing and laughing at each other caused a blush to quickly creep up your cheeks. The thought if anyone witnessing your antics both embarrassing and exciting you.

“Are you sure you want to do this, liebe?” Seb questioned, he placed his finger on your cheek and forced you to look at him as he spoke. “Because once we start, I won't be able to stop.”

“And why would I ever want you to stop?” you shot back, pressing your bum further into him to prove your point. Sebs eyes scanned the area, having seemingly decided the risk of getting caught was worth it, he ran his fingers up your thigh, under your skirt and into your underwear.

His other hand trailed the opposite direction, moving up your body to gently squeeze your breast. You arched your back at the sensation, your ass moving further into him and a harsh squeeze being delivered as a result.

Slipping a finger into you, his hand flew away from your breast to clamp over your mouth, muffling the sudden moan that escaped you. “You have to be quiet, sweetheart. There's people around us,” he reminded.

He littered gentle kisses up your neck and you could feel his smirk against your skin at the shaky breath you let out the minute he slipped a second finger into you. “I don't think anyone else deserves to hear your moans, darling.”

You hummed against his hand, wetness pooling at his words and your eyes fluttering closed as his thumb began to circle your clit. “Move up for a second, liebe,” he demanded once he removed his fingers from you. Having no other option but to comply, you braced your hands against the table and stood up on shaky legs. You patiently waited as Sebastain undid his belt, the sound of the metal coming undone bringing a newfound wetness to your core.

“Ready?” he questioned, moving his hand up and down your thigh to comfort you. You nodded your head, biting harshly on your lip, you quickly glanced behind you and yet another shaky breath tumbled from your lips at the sight you beheld.

Sebastain was sprawled across the couch with his dick barely covered by your body. The sight of him shamelessly sitting there did something to you and before you lost your confidence, you slowly lowered yourself down onto him.

“Keep quiet now,” he reminded once you took all of him in. Your hands gripped onto the table in front of you, your knuckles quickie turning white as you used it as leverage to start moving.

The sound of your skin hitting against sebastians was muffled by the laughter of the crowd and the loudness of the msic booming across the grand club. “I'm trying,” you grunted.

You slowly bounced on him, trying to keep your movements small and inconspicuous to the people around you. But Sebastian could only last so long without needing to take over. A moan accidentally escaped you once he began thrusting his own hips upwards to meet yours. In response to your foolishness, he grabbed a fistful of your hair, yanking not so gently on it as a warning and forcing you to look at the dim lights hanging above you instead of the people ahead of you.

Holding onto your body he quickly steadied you, forcing you to halt your movements as a random man walked up to the two of you. You shifted in his hold and attempted to reposition yourself to look more natural towards the stranger. You just wanted it to seem like you were cuddling the driver, not bouncing on his dick.

One of your arms wrapped around his neck while the other laid on his chest. You spared a quick glance downwards, making sure your skirt covered everything before looking back up at the man. Sebastian greeted him, admittedly not poilelty, but he greeted him nevertheless. It only took a few seconds for the two of you to realise he was a fan and by the looks of it, would do anything to hold a conversation with the Sebastian Vettel.

You couldn't help but move on his lap, the need for friction overwhelming you after staying put for several minutes. You slowly began rolling your hips, your heart racing at the sudden release of pressure and also at the fact you were grinding on him with a fan of his only a few feet away.

Sebastian cleared his throat, trying desperately to pay attention to the man in front of him and not on how good you felt clenching around him. His hips unintentionally runted up into you, muttering a quick curse under his breath he grimaced at the man, cutting his sentence short as he gestured towards you. “If you wouldn't mind,” he sympathetically commented.

“Right, right sorry,” he mumbled, “Enjoy your night.”

He soon scrambled away from view and Sebastian began carelessly thrusting into you again. You returned to your original position, now resting your head against the table, thankful for the pleasure filling your whole body. You could feel a bead of sweat forming on the nape of your neck and were almost certain you looked a mess but you couldn't have cared as you got nearer and nearer to your peak.

This new angle allowed Sebastian to take control of your activities. He guided your hips back and forth, not paying attention to the movement of the table nor the attention that the two of you could possibly bring your way. All he wanted was to bring you to your release. “Are you going to cum for me, darling?” he whispered. You nodded against the table, the coolness of the wood reliving your flushed cheeks as you felt the knot begin to release in your stomach.

You moved your hand to grip onto his thigh, “I'm gonna-” you mumbled, unable to finish your sentence as he gripped onto the back of your neck and forced you to sit up straight. His fingers immediately fell down your throat in a poor attempt to muffle your moans. You whimpered loudly at his show of dominance, your attempts to keep quiet failing profusely as he hurried his movements.

His fingers moved further down your throat as your walls clenched around him. Before you knew it you were spilling yourself against Sebastain. Your eyes rolling to the back of your head and heat filling your body as he followed in your actions.

[lily-orchard-gossip-blog]

The Sith Resurgence Theory

In 'celebration' of TSR ending I wanted to share my own long-held theory about what's actually going on in The Sith Resurgence. This theory of mine was actually supported by revelations in Two Loving Mothers (the most significant of which your own analysis is presently juuuust shy of reaching), and I thought this might be a good time to share it.

I am of the belief that The Sith Resurgence occurs, almost in its entirety, in a hallucination being projected into Rey's mind by Aliana, with purpose of planting in Rey an absolute trust and devotion to Aliana so she (Rey) may be more easily manipulated.

It's established early on that Aliana is actually not particularly Force powerful through a comparison of midichlorian counts, despite what's actually shown on-page. This is brushed off as her using passion to empower her Dark Side powers, but it's still difficult to believe that Aliana -- even hopped up on the power of love -- can somehow overcome a starkly defined power limitation to stop a 'thousand mile wide' laser. Capable of crazy Force shenanigans the likes of which we've never seen before? Not likely. But to hold a pliable mind in suspension and unveil a story where Aliana is set up as the hero...?

Not out of the question.

We also get, just before this, the moment as outlined in a previous Anon's post referring to how Aliana so strictly defines Kylo Ren's motivations as 'bloodlust' and 'hatred', ensuring that any observer will have no chance to define for themselves was they're seeing because Aliana (as the one shaping this hallucination) would also be hypothetically capable of manipulating the emotions present. She does the same going forward, twisting the players and politicians she doesn't like into irrational, hateful forces who are arrayed against Aliana (at this point now tied strongly to Rey) while making the players she does like trustworthy toadies. Aliana sets herself up as an emotional support for Rey, trying to ensure that her possible connections to others who could help and guide her are severed. This ensures that Rey will latch on to Aliana, and that all her other desires and dreams are gradually stripped away until she focuses entirely ON Aliana, and nobody else.

This is why Aliana is the center of everything. Why she is the only piece that ultimately matters. Why everything revolves around her. Why Rey gradually loses all sense of self as the visions and emotional ties dig deeper into her psyche and turn her into a closer and closer reflection of Aliana herself-- but one that is more submissive, more pliable. And more powerful.

(Sidebar, but it's not unlike what G did to Comic!Lily over in Poke-madhouse. Funny, that.)

Aliana does not have a high Force potency, but Rey does. Perhaps she recognized this and sought to find Rey before anybody else could, seeing how she could be used by somebody with more... honed ambitions. Severing her from everybody else and ensuring that the Force dyad -- which would ultimately provide the power to stop evil and save Ben Kenobi -- could be corrupted and put to better use.

You can see her snares take multiple different shapes, by placing her in front of Rey to become a mentor and love interest, then to fabricate a history where they might have been sisters (feeding on Rey's desperation and longing to find her family). To set up a situation where Rey 'adopts' Aliana's mother as her own in order to fully claim the bonds of familial love. When Rey didn't seem to be acting quickly enough she further fabricated a scenario where she was grievously injured and dying, triggering Rey's guilt over how 'poorly' she had treated Aliana previously and channeling it into a fabricated bond of romantic love. And of course, while this isn't in the fic itself, we've seen Lily reveal that she intends for Rey to be truly unable to life without Aliana, to the point of committing suicide shortly after Aliana's death in order to join her forever in the Force.

(This particular point was later retconned as stopping her medicine and dying peacefully, but we all remember what Lily originally said.)

All circumstantial, of course, but what sealed the deal for me is Two Loving Mothers, where a story about comforting a traumatized child manages to turn into Rey doing nothing but thinking about how brave and beautiful and wonderful Aliana (who is asleep in the other room for the whole thing) is. Specifically that their adopted child, Star, is literally a clone of Aliana-- in addition to the reveal that her name is Aliana's childhood nickname, she is also revealed that she looks precisely like Aliana as a child. This resemblance, of course, is also shared by Aliana's mother (now Rey's adopted mother), meaning that Aliana is now representing Rey's mother, wife, sister, and daughter-- simultaneously.

Insane? Yes. Insidious? Absolutely.

She has captured Rey's love on every conceivable level with the intention that, when Rey is released from the illusion, that bond will remain, that Rey's own personality will have been hollowed out and subverted, and that Aliana will be able to claim her as a puppet and use her power to bring the galaxy to its knees.

[ohayopoko]

LETS FUCKING STRIKE. OCTOBER 15TH, 2021 LETS FUCKING GO!

Do you work for $15 an hour w shitty 30 minute breaks, no healthcare or benefits and an absurd amount of taxes being deducted from your meager paycheck? Do you get depressed because you have to work? Do you stop taking care of yourself because you have to work? Do you stop indulging in your passions, your family, your happiness because you have to work? For a shitty $15 an hour at that? We as the working class hold all the power, we MAKE OR BREAK this economy! The rich are %1 and we are the %99, we hold power in our numbers, just like how they hold power in the money we slave away to make for them!

I have over 1,000 followers on this platform and I wanna use my voice to FUCK CAPITALISM IN THE ASS! Quite literally!

WHY STRIKE?

Hold on let me give you some fucking reasons👏🏾

-WE ARE LITERALLY BEING UNDERPAID FOR OUR LABOR! Labor that fucks with our mental health, our physical, emotional health and our happiness!

-Minimum wage is meant to support a family, it was literally designed for a person to be able to own a home, have a family and pay their way through college and granted it DID serve that purpose for a time BUT the government inflated prices, THEY RAISED THE PRICES OF LIVING WITHOUT RAISING THE MINIMUM WAGE AND THATS BULLSHIT

-DOES ANYBODY ELSE NOT SEE SOMETHING DEATHLY WRONG WITH WORKING 5 or shit 7 DAYS A WEEK FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES JUST TO BE ABLE TO SURVIVE? NOBODY?!

-THE GOVERNMENT WAS BUILT TO SERVE THE PEOPLE AND ITS NOT, IT HASNT, NOT IN A VERY LONG TIME

-THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS WOULDNT EVEN LET US FULLY QUARANTINE BECAUSE OF THE FUCKING *Doofy voice* eCoNOmY *Doofy voice again*

-THEY WERE WILLING TO LET US DIE TO KEEP MONEY IN THEIR POCKETS AND MOST OF US HAD NO CHOICE, I was a frontline worker the ENTIRE pandemic because I had no choice

-I WAS RISKING MY LIFE TO MAKE MONEY TO SURVIVE BECAUSE I HAD NO CHOICE!

-We are literally trading our precious time here on earth, in this world for MONEY! MONEY! A MAN MADE PIECE OF PAPER, A MAN MADE CONCEPT W NO VALUE! The only value we have for money is because we need it to survive, we need it for water we need it for food we need it for fucking air and that’s not right, that’s not right at all!

-AND I BELIEVE IF WE HAVE TO “NEED” IT, IF WE HAVE TO TRADE OUR LIVES AWAY FOR MONEY, WE SHOULD BE GETTING PAID FAIRLY,

-YOU WOULD NOT SELL UR PUSSY (or dick I don’t judge) for $15 an hour to a complete stranger, SO WHY SELL YOUR LIFE? YOUR TIME? YOUR FREEDOM? AND STILL GET SHITTY PAY?

-TUHH, babyyyyyyyy, ima need u to gone head and support this strike cause things have to change! 😮‍💨❤️

SHIT YOU STILL ARENT CONVINCED TO STRIKE? HERE ARE SOME MORE FACTS, BITCH, STOP BEING A PUSSY AND HELP ME MAKE A BETTER TOMORROW FOR OUR CHILDREN!🤬

The U.S. Government is not serving its people

The United States is the only developed country that requires zero paid time off for maternity leave (2)

Unemployment rose to 14% in 2021 because companies refused to raise wages (3)

Only 100 corporations are responsible for 71% of all global carbon emissions (4)

Federal Minimum wage hasn't been raised since 2009 (5)

40 million Americans live at, or below the national poverty line (6)

Pharmaceutical companies are extorting patients for medications (7)

And the average American is $90,460 in debt just to afford basic necessities like housing, food, clothes, education, and medical bills (8)

(((these facts are from the October strike website and I strongly urge you all to participate!)))

PLEASE I URGE ALL 1,187 OF YOU TO REPOST! SHARE! SPREAD THE WORD! BECAUSE THE ONLY WAY AN ORGINIZED STRIKE WILL MAKE THE CAPTIALIST FUCKERS QUAKE IN THEIR BOOTS AND LISTEN TO OUR DEMANDS IS IF WE STRIKE IN NUMBERS! WE, THE WORKING CLASS, HOLD POWER IN OUR NUMBERS! If we ALL STRIKE THEY CANT FIRE US ALL, FOR ONCE WE’L BE ABLE TO MAKE THE DEMANDS! Come on! If we’re going to be made to work until we die we might as well be paid our fucking worth! 👏🏾

[etheriadearie]

Hello! Absolutely love your analyses! I'd spend breaks during work reading through a piece and I appreciate all the evidence (data as Entrapta would state) you use. I see many people boil Catradora down to being abusive (aimed at Catra) and it's just so hard to argue since there's so much depth to their relationship. What are your thoughts? How would you respond to someone stating so?

:: ... Reflections on the emotional healthiness of Catradora, on Adora's arc, and on SPOP as a morally complex story-

Hi, and thank you so much for this question, I know that some SPOP fans have this kind of reaction, and while I get why they feel bad, I strongly believe such a reaction was not the intended outcome. Which is my first point:

To anyone who feels this way, Hey!!! Noelle wouldn't hurt us like that, and even though we see hurtful behaviors shown in SPOP, this isn't part of suggesting that we forgive our abusers- Noelle wouldn't do that!!

SPOP is unique in that it explores trauma as seriously as it does… this show is so many different things: it's beautiful, it's fun, it's kid friendly, and it's really meaningful. I really, really believe that both Catra and Adora’s stories are meant to be a comfort to people who grew up in situations like theirs… (I, for one, find Catra’s story very comforting).

My second point is that Adora is as much a product of hurtful abuse as Catra is, and this includes that she has some very hurtful behaviors towards Catra, especially as we see the two of them together starting well before her defection. For example-

We all know Adora is a sweetheart, and for her to even behave in hurtful ways is so against her own best nature that it's a sign that she's not really being herself. It's also very wrong in terms of her ability to be She-ra, as Etheria chose her for her ability to love- she is deep down an incredibly loving and generous person, and love is her power. Yet, when we see her with Catra in ep1, she's acting hurtful instead. This- is where their relationship becomes so complex- because Catra really isn't being hurtful, and Adora has a history...

...And, this is a much bigger problem than just her relationship with Catra, because Adora is also hurtful towards everyone in her past life, she vilifies them and fights them- never once does she make an honest attempt to help her former friends- Adora simply makes an assumption that fighting them is a necessary hurt of her 'destiny'.

Yet... this 'destiny' is a lie, and we cannot ignore how Adora's arc from s1-4 ends with her barely avoiding destroying all of Etheria... furthermore, with Horde Prime finding them all as a consequence. Despite Adora's attempts at being a hero through s1-4, it ends with her having betrayed all of her former friends for a 'destiny' which was evil all along- Light Hope never meant to make her a hero, only to use her and the rest of the princesses as a weapon. This is because Adora had followed her 'duty' and therefore failed to be her greatest good as a hero of love.

Her decision of duty and all that goes wrong results because of how Adora believes in duty before all else, including and especially love. This false belief system, where she simply fights rather than looks to help her former friends, and acts hurtfully to enact this false 'destiny', is because of how Adora was hurt by her abuser. And it makes her actions wrong- she isn't valuing love, and, she is being controlled by others, some which are evil, some which are unfair- through her false belief in duty.

This concept of duty, which is so wrong, is what Adora's entire struggles are about- this includes her hero's arc. Her perceived need to serve a false 'duty' is the reason she justifies her hurtful behavior and neglects to help her former friends, it's the reason her s1-4 arc ends in disaster with her destiny being revealed to have been false, (and that she's been manipulated for evil), and, it's the reason she's so hurtful to Catra- betraying all of their love, while failing to make any true effort to understand Catra's feelings

We might not like Catra's reaction, or how terribly wrong the war is (... one which began before either of them was even born-), but Adora wrongly believes in putting her duty so far ahead of all else that she's failing to look deeper. Adora does break promises, and she does hurt people- she hurts everyone in her old life, not just Catra, with her hurtful and blind prioritization of duty ahead of love and all else- her belief makes her vulnerable to further manipulations. Her entire concept of duty before love makes her miss how she's hurting them, and, how she's wrong to do this... ... it results in so much pain. (-in fact, Adora ends up hurting EVERYONE with her stubborn belief in enacting a false destiny, as we'll discuss.) .

So, for the purposes of this question, we need to look at Adora's behavior, and how she's wrong to be so hurtful. Catra ends up very much more wrong- that's well documented- and which we all know- but, Adora is She-ra, Catra is not, and all of Adora's actions matter so much because she is at the center of all that happens as She-ra. And, she's got to learn to value love, going against the hurtful beliefs of 'duty' that her abuser ingrained into her psyche to control her. Even though Adora is trying to do her best, she falls short of what that actually is, and it's all because of her false belief that duty must define her. She is a hero of love, not a hero of duty or destiny- because destiny cannot power her, nor guide her. Love is what must guide Adora, because love is her real power... and as a hero of love, she cannot "leave anyone behind" who needed her help...

Through s1-4, by acting hurtful, Adora is essentially creating a false equivalency by equating evil upon all of her former friends, in a hurtful way which all but ensures further division and misunderstanding. She-ra is supposed to be a uniter, a healer- yet Adora is making no effort to do so. Adora is such a extensive product of abuse that she doesn't even see that she's doing so, and she has to wake up to this in order to become a hero of love...

:readmore:

Also, in part: their division happens because when Adora leaves Catra and everyone else in her former life behind she does so having not once fought for them (see Lonnie in the portal reality, below) - very much like how she didn't fight for her and Catra's love against their abuser. As She-ra, Adora needs to be strong enough to fight for ALL of them, rebellion and the vulnerable people in the horde who are trapped in its abusive system alike- yet, Adora doesn't do so- instead she takes a simplified view of morality, and through it, justifies abandoning her and Catra's love and fighting against instead of helping everyone in her old life. That Adora doesn't try to do better is already hurtful on its own. Adora's choice of such a hurtful path happens out of multiple complex factors, some deal with her history as a abuse survivor- but in reality, it's mostly because everyone else around Adora also is not being their best, either... ...more later

As for Catra- her choices, while very very bad, come out a reaction to Adora's history of hurtful behaviors- her inability to trust Adora is a trauma reaction, just like Adora's, yet, that reaction comes in response to Adora's continued hurtful behaviors: Catra is trying to be apart from someone who has constantly hurt her by naively following duty while showing no effort to understand how she's hurtful or to fight for their love. Adora did this within the horde by playing favorite to Shadow Weaver, and Catra feels that Adora must be misguided, just like she was before, for leaving her- instead fighting against her so willingly and vilifying her... lumping her in with their abuser as evil.

Catra was constantly abused, and watched on as Adora played favorite to that abuser while ignoring how Catra was treated. So, Adora was betraying Catra all along, and had no awareness of it- it shows that Adora has a blind spot- something which she struggles with throughout her hero's arc: such as Light Hope using her for evil. Catra felt as though she had already lost the friend she thought she had years ago, and then Adora's continued hurtful behavior following her defection, while making no effort to save their love, is what causes Catra to feel she must part ways with Adora. By Catra's reasoning, Adora must not really love her- why else would Adora be so ready to hurt her, when she made a promise to love her? Catra doesn't think Adora is actually being a 'good' person by leaving like she does- and Adora's hurtful divisive actions confirm Catra is right- by choosing divisiveness and a false destiny while devaluing their love, Adora is indeed falling short of being the hero of love which Etheria chose her to be...

So, we can see Catra's distrust and Adora's being used by Light Hope as parallel, because Catra is right that Adora is letting people manipulate her, just like she did within the horde- even if Catra is only basing this belief off of her gut feelings in s1. Adora ends up betraying her promises, and being used as a weapon by Light Hope, (and the rebellion, too) for the same reason: her belief in duty which blinds her to all else.

:: 🛑 There's also the matter of whether Adora and Catra are 'in a relationship' during the war. That's dubious- morality of the war aside, Adora divides their friendship for it, not Catra- so they aren't together anymore... And, as we'll discuss, Adora is coming up short of making the best decision by doing so. But, in regards to our question: what happens during the war between Catra and Adora should be considered separately, as apart from this time in their history, Catra was quite loving with Adora: both before, and then after, the war... and so it's important to not falsely equivalate Catra actions in this way- they are not 'together' (...again, morality of the war aside..) ....more later

We'll come back to Catra's motivations later, but here's the quick reference for the meantime- Catra doesn't do what she does out of wanting to hurt Adora, her love confession in s5 precludes that. And she also doesn't do it out of any great allegiance to the Horde- it's just all she knows, and she stays there because she's trying to live free of Adora- who is a constantly inadvertently hurtful person, as Adora had actually been betraying their love for many years. But: most importantly, Catra does what she does as part of her fight against their real abuser, whom Catra sees as the real evil in their lives. This starts as Catra taking down Shadow Weaver herself, and stays true within the meaning of her other actions through the rest of her arc as well. ...more later

All in all, this is part of how Noelle gave us a morally complex story with SPOP- it's not black and white like most stories we've seen (such as ATLA). The war, while terrible, has multiple sides to it, and with it moral grayness: The horde is wrong, yet isn't really made up of evil people. The rebellion is right to defend Etheria, but has a corrupted view of the horde where they summarily judge all horde as evil. That's an amoral belief, as we'll discuss, and it plays into Adora’s confusion over who she really must be, because their hurtful views block Adora's ability to be the hero of love she's meant to be.

... And, of course- the princesses are part of an evil super weapon, as naive enablers of a generational trauma so dark that it threatens them all... ...more later

Finally, the MAJOR PSA REGARDING ABUSIVENESS.. (and therefore this question)

Since we wish to discuss abusive relationships, we must recognize that there is indeed such a relationship at the forefront of SPOP, but it's not Catradora.

All of their bad behaviors- Catra’s isolationism and hurtfulness for self protection, and Adora’s hurtfulness in the name of false duty and vulnerability to naively trusting in false ideals set out for her by others, is because of how Shadow Weaver hurt them.

SPOP as a series is all about believing in love, (even in other character arcs aside from Catradora-) and it really is about both of their struggles with how their abuser hurt them, which they have to get past to embrace love. Their story is one about the how and why we ourselves sometimes struggle to accept love- many people struggle due to having been hurt like they were- and through them, Noelle tells us a story of our own lives. 💢(minor trauma warn to readers, altho, I promise nothing too dark in this post). It's the real truth of Catra and Adora’s arcs: that they both act out hurtfully due to how their abuser has hurt them, and as such, they both contribute to their division, not just Catra. And, they both go through long arcs of self realization and healing to be better from how they've been hurt, to be their best selves and so they can be together again.

This journey of self realization is what allows Adora to start being a real hero in s5, and accepting Adora's flaws in her actions before then is an important part of understanding her arc, because, as She-ra, everything Adora does matters- no matter how unfair what's done to her is, she's got to be her best, and she has to trust in love in order to win in the end...

That concludes the "short" explanation, but, since abusiveness is such an important issue, we'll cover some specifics it in greater detail. This- is Adora's hero's arc- her and Catra's love IS her hero's journey, because she's not trusting in love in how she acts through s1-4.

So, apologies for how long this will be, but we'll be covering the following subjects as part of this discussion-

1- how and why Adora improperly continues hurtful behavior that started within the horde after she finds the sword, which Catra reacts to, and how Catra wasn't hurtful before then,

2- how Adora could have used She-ra as a liberator to help her former friends, and how the rebellion also being corrupt is why she misses seeing it,

3- Adora's self realization of her truth of love, and how it allows her to step past false destiny and manipulations,

4- how Adora was being a false hero during seasons 1-4 as told through Horde Prime forcing her to fight chipped Catra to save her during Save the Cat,

5- Catra’s wrongness and why she believes she's totally alone against her abusers evils,

6- how the love we see in s5 was always the truth.

Back to the topic of Adora’s hurtfulness, as we see it in ep1, that goes so deeply against her better, loving nature... (part 1)

From the moment we see Adora and Catra together in ep1, it's obvious that their relationship has already become very unhealthy-

This is almost entirely unhealthy on Adora’s side, not Catra’s, as every time Adora speaks to Catra, she does so with a tone- she's rude to her, she's hypercritical of Catra's actions, she's incredibly judgemental, and she acts as if superior to her.

Yet, Adora had become the puppet of their abuser- Shadow Weaver, making the mistake of trying to fulfill the false expectation of being perfect as she was told to do. And in doing so, her naive trust in fulfilling that duty made her an unintentional enabler of her own abuse, as well as Catra's.

So, all of Adora's judgments out of supposed superiority come out as false: she's devoted to a woman who means only to destroy them, it shows that she really didn't know what was going on with Shadow Weaver's abuse.

In contrast, when we look at Catra’s behavior, it's clear she thinks Shadow Weaver is evil. And, in terms of how she interacts with Adora, it's obvious that Catra is actually still being a very loving and supportive friend to Adora- we only see any of her negativity emerge in response to Adora’s own hurtfulness. As things stand in ep1, Catra isn't abusive, if anything, it's the opposite (although I wouldn't use that term).

So, we can start to see that Adora has an entire history of deeply hurtful behaviors towards Catra- starting well before the moment Catra refuses to follow her, or before her decision to forsake their love go to war against her following “Promise”. There was no good reason for Adora’s hurtfulness- it was done in respect to a false duty made for her by their abuser.

This false belief of superiority is another way in which we can see that Adora was failing to see the true evil that was happening as she was playing the favorite- she blindly believed that being good, as measured by an ideal set out for her by their abuser, was her only way of solving her problems.

Yet, Adora always had a choice- her assumption shows a failure of reasoning, because fulfilling that duty as she was told to never would have resulted in anyone being safe- much like her trying to fulfill Light Hope's ‘destiny’. Shadow Weaver only made Adora think that as part of her plan to use and then destroy her.

Likewise, Adora always had a choice to intrinsically value her and Catra’s love over the corrupt duty forced on her by Shadow Weaver- she could have kept the faith in their love, with Catra. Instead, Adora became hurtful towards Catra...

Adora was a bad friend- and her being as such in the name of false duties is the same reason she ends up being used as part of Light Hope’s corrupt 'destiny'. Also, being a bad friend is a canon part of Adora's hero’s struggle, (spoiler warn, LotFP) as being a bad friend can also be seen in how Adora acts towards Glimmer in s4: (as Bow says in s4ep8: "...it's hard being friends sometimes... So why am I the only one who's willing to work at it?". (In LotFP, Scorpia outright calls Adora a bad friend, and rightly so..)

In regards to Adora’s failure in choice- she and Catra weren't children anymore, and standing up to Shadow Weaver was always a possibility. She could have refused to play along in a system where Catra was made to suffer while she was given praise. And, the real kicker is: judging by how easily Catra takes down Shadow Weaver without Adora’s help, it wouldn't have even been that hard.

This shows Adora really was guilty of blind devotion to Shadow Weaver, because Catra had been prepared to step free of that abuse, probably for years. So, when Adora leaves Catra, devaluing their love and instead vilifying and falsely accusing Catra of being evil like Shadow Weaver (which is an immensely hurtful thing to do after the years of torture Catra suffered), Catra decides to step free of her abusers control, while also stepping free of Adora’s continued hurtfulness.

So, we see that Adora has a dangerous level of blindness to the deeper evils that people mean to use her for, which we can see in other places throughout her arc, such as with Light Hope’s plans for her. She can't even see how she's been corrupted.

Catra, in contrast, shows us she knew all along about their abusers' true evil: she shows her awareness by her little rebellions against a corrupt system where she was constantly being hurt. Catra refused to stay weak, and prepared to protect herself from her abuser all along. Yet, all Adora ever did was act out towards Catra for refusing to conform like she did...

Let's jump forward to when Adora finds the sword, and we can apply Adora’s naive belief in enacting duty, while being hurtful in the name of it, to that decision as well:

Adora accepts the sword, and her new ‘destiny’, with blindness and devotion- believing it to be her ‘destiny’, she willingly accepts that it comes at the price of hurting Catra as well as everyone in her old life as part of fulfilling it.

This ‘destiny’, or duty, is actually nothing but a lie made to confuse Adora by Light Hope and the First Ones- it's just a manipulation to use Adora for their evil. Believing in her 'destiny', Adora then makes no real effort to understand the darker truth behind what is really being asked of her, instead trusting in that 'destiny' and betraying everyone in her old life with her hurtfulness, instead of helping them, in service to this ‘destiny’. (...more later)

Adora in effect swaps Shadow Weaver for Light Hope, (the rebellion also uses Adora as a weapon in a hurtful way, which we'll discuss), and in doing so Adora acts hurtful to someone she loves, she agrees to hurt and therefore fail a whole group of people who deserve better from her. Adora has no right to vilify them like she does, after all, she was one of them herself. Also, her vilification shows no concept of her own hurtfulness and previous role as an enabler in that system.

Sure, Adora could complain that it wasn't her fault because she was being unfairly manipulated, yet Adora continually shows that she is vulnerable to those very same manipulations, again and again, throughout s1-4. It's all to do with her false assumption of fulfilling duty at any cost.

... and it brings Adora’s entire supposed ‘moral awakening’ into question, because while she's right to stick up for the citizens of Thaymore, her entire hurtful and superior attitude towards Catra while she does it is false: it's just like how Adora was hurtful towards Catra as part of playing her role as the favorite of their abuser within the horde. She was blind to the real evil that was occurring.

She therefore has no business being so hurtful towards Catra throughout s1, even IF she didn't know about the continued tortuous abuse Catra suffered because of her. All that Adora’s supposed righteousness over her ‘destiny’ actually shows is that she’s blind to what is really happening- in the past, and then again when Light Hope uses her for evil.

Also, fun fact: Adora’s supposed 'holier than thou' newfound morality isn't even her own: we know she's vulnerable to accepting others' expectations- in this case she's accepting Glimmer’s hardline view that all people in the horde must be evil. Adora takes this closed minded viewpoint and uses it as she tries to enact her false destiny all the way through s1-4, never once making an effort to help her former friends.

All in all, Adora falls short of being a real hero by doing this. And, Adora really does take things too far in her stubborn pursuit of her destiny (LotFP spoiler warn). She's so willing to hurt Catra, and all of her former friends, and is so far removed from the hero of love we see in s5 by doing so. Catra is right that Adora isn't the friend she used to have- Shadow Weaver's abuse changed Adora into something hurtful instead. (In LotFP, Adora strait up attempts to terminate Catra’s life; ...in contrast, Catra only ever tries to capture Adora...)

Catra, meanwhile, has no reason to trust Adora when she tells her she's defecting because of Adora's past history as an enabler of her (their) abuse. If Adora could hurt her, while being devoted to her abuser, what reason does Adora give Catra to think that anything will be different with her sudden new devotion to the rebellion? The answer is none, and as Catra had to look out for herself to protect herself from abuse, she won't trust Adora. Meanwhile, Adora can't even make an effort to understand Catra's feelings of being hurt by her actions...

Also- at least Catra had a plan- which we know by how she takes down Shadow Weaver to be free of her continued abuse. Nor, also, does Catra just want to leave everyone in her old life, accepting the rebellions belief that people like her are only worthy of being vilified and condemned by the princesses- Adora's self righteous judgements just makes Catra think that Adora is being hurtful and naive. Adora, meanwhile, had no plan- and even after her 'destiny' is revealed, she's still playing into the hands of her abusers while trying to fulfill her 'destiny'. It doesn't matter if Adora doesn't mean to, she's still got to be better than letting corrupt people use her for evil. She needs to learn to not be so naive.

The best theory for the hurtful way Adora behaves- by being so hurtful while ignoring the deeper truths- is that Adora has a deeply engrained hurtful world-view due to how she was hurt by Shadow Weaver, towards her abusers purpose of using and sacrificing Adora. Because of how Adora was treated, she believes that duty always comes at a cost, and that it will be painful- it's a corrupted, painful way of seeing the world where she just assumes pain comes as part of her reality of being charged with duty.

This is false, it's just what her abusers (Light Hope, too) want her to believe, and waking up to how this corrupt concept of duty is used against her by her abusers is something that must happen for Adora to be able to move past it, so that she can start being a hero of love like she's meant to be. She cannot let naive concepts manipulate her into being hurtful, and cloud her from seeing her path of love. Adora in s1 sees none of this- she only sees her concept of duty which is wrong- she does get wiser throughout s1-4 which sets up for her heroic reveal in s5, when we her true She-ra form.

So, Adora's fighting Catra and all of her former friends, instead of looking to help or understand them, is a presumption that it is a necessary cost of her duty. Upholding her 'duty' was always painful for Adora, and so she thinks hurting her former friends is 'just how it has to be', because Shadow Weaver conditioned her to expect that duty would always feel painful. Her hurtful world view assumes evil on them all, while making no attempt to do better. That's not heroic- Adora is accepting enacting a lesser evil as part of 'duty', just like when Catra was allowed to suffer within the horde while she was given promotion. A real hero faces evil at it's source, by simply vilifying her former friends and breaking her promise to Catra, Adora is being no hero of love...

Which brings us to our next topic: why Adora fails everyone in her old life, and how she could have done better to help the people trapped within the horde’s abusive system. (Part 2)

Adora’s hurtful vilification of everyone in her old life, while never finding a way to help them, really is a failure to all of them. In particular, we can see how much Lonnie feels this way, much like Catra does-

Not finding any way to help them was always a failure of Adora as a hero, something which happens because of her trauma belief of 'duty' before all else, and how her new allies in the rebellion wrongly influence her to believe that all horde are evil. Their corrupted, hurtful views makes Adora miss an obvious possibility:

Adora could have used She-ra as a liberator, rather than as a conqueror.

I realize that may sound like hyperbole, but, there's plenty of evidence of how Adora fails her former friends, and even more about how the rebellion fails the people of the horde. ->see the following pics-

So, we need to talk about why Adora never tries to help her former friends, in order to open a path to freedom like she was offered because she was She-ra.

Even though the rebellion may have the moral high ground in this story, they still fall short of being their best with their derogatory views of the horde- it further divides themselves from what are essentially fellow native Etherians, it surrenders all further thought to what is essentially hate. One result of their flawed views is how we see its Glimmer that activates the super weapon: as she says “we’re the good guys, remember?”. Are they really being their best, though?

Glimmer and Angella have pain from the war, which gives them a corrupted view of the Horde where they summarily judge all Horde to be evil out of their pain. These are derogatory views which are based on their own personal feelings of injury, which leads to their views, as leaders, crossing over from needing to protect themselves, to enacting a unnecessarily hurtful exclusion of a group of vulnerable people who needed their help.

This isn't to say that their pain isn't real… it is, it just doesn't excuse an isolationist, closed minded view of their situation. Surrendering further thought out of emotional pain simply is never healthy, they take their feeling so far as up never show any understanding to any individuals within the horde, or to try to help them. As the leaders of free Etheria, this is a failure of their station as those leaders.

So enters our sweet Adora, who, while she does always mean well, is a lifelong product of abuse that makes her highly vulnerable to blindly going along with others' expectations of her. Afraid to fail her new allies, Adora accepts Glimmer and Angella’s ‘us versus them’ close minded view of the horde as evil as her own, she ignores her deeper knowledge of how this isn't true she has from her time as one of them. Because of it, Adora never considers how they deserve to be given the same chance to be better that she was granted because of her Princess powers.

In all of SPOP, Adora is the only person who is ever actually offered a chance to switch sides. This is a failure that happens because of the derogatory and closed minded views which predominate the rebellion's beliefs- it's no secret that they hate horde soldiers, and that no forgiveness is ever offered. It's prejudiced and amoral.

In SPOP, the Horde isn't evil in the black and white sense that most stories present their villains. They are a combination of bad, but also good: we can see that good in the stories of Catra, Scorpia, Lonnie, etc- even Hordak, the supposed leader of the evil Horde, shows he can be better and gets a redemption.

So, Adora’s intimate connections to people from her former life always demanded more understanding from her than just being crushed under She-ra’s golden boot. ... Not that anybody in the rebellion is actually interested in considering this possibility- and Adora is far too concerned at failing in her new duties as She-ra to stop and see it, and so challenge those views.

It was another missed chance to help people, rather than divide, that Adora misses seeing due to her traumas- her addition to their ranks should have been a chance to change the derogatory views of the rebellion for the better, to open a real path towards freedom for people within the horde who feel trapped by its abusive system, so they can find safety from it like she did when she switched sides.

It's a way in which she could have helped her former friends, and it might even have lead to resolving the war more peacefully- losing soldiers in such a way would have weakened the Horde, possibly even seen its collapse… also, Catra would have seen that Adora was no longer giving in to a blanket derogatory view of people like her... -> ->note, Adora's childhood best friend helms the Horde, and yet, Adora still cannot find common ground ? (This is because of Adora's own divisive and prejudiced behavior towards Catra. Also, Hordak is barely the leader of the Horde- as he hides in his lab and only emerges to makes snide comments.....)

Quick aside: yes, Adora does make a few weak offers of this in s1 to Catra, but always coming after Catra had been further abused because of Adora’s actions, and always with Adora acting in her superior way that shows no understanding of how she's hurtful. It makes Catra doubt Adora’s sincerity.

As it turns out, this derogatory view of the rebellion is a much larger failure: it fails the people of the horde, but very importantly, the way their hurtful views affects Adora equals a personal failure of them all to Adora.

What's really so terribly wrong with the rebellion's close minded views is that we never see any quarter offered to the horde: there's no opportunity for such people to be better- no choice given to them to step free of their abusive situation, and to prove they don't really stand for that. Not having that offer in place is an immoral act, and an abandonment of duty.

Glimmer and Angella’s presumption of evil upon all horde with no path to forgiveness in itself traps those very people in the system which forces them to act in evil ways. War is never an easy thing to solve- but presuming the enemy as evil shuts down all possible further understanding, and perpetuates the violence: as leaders of their world, Glimmer and Angella needed to do better.

And, their hurtful views are also a enormous personal failure to Adora, because it frightens Adora and leads to her continued self hurting-

Adora accepts the rebellion's close minded views that are forced on her, she throws herself into battle continuously trying to make up for her failure to be perfect. She's so afraid to fail them that she acts in compromised ways- such as looking to sacrifice herself, or hurtfully protecting her concept of 'destiny' at the cost of brutalizing her former friends in battle, never looking to help them.

It's a hurtful way to live, and Adora does it because she's so afraid to fail her new allies as a former child soldier from the Horde, and so, their views hurt her- Angella and Glimmer's views that being from the horde is synonymous with evil are a personal failure to Adora, particularly from Angella: as a mother, she could have helped Adora to understand her new role as She-ra, and to help Adora understand her trauma.

Instead, Angella judges Adora and treats her like she's evil unless she fights as she's told to... even though Adora, as an orphan, never had a choice in being from the horde. This is an emotionally hurtful failure to Adora as a friend, (Glimmer) and as a mother (Angella).

::This is also the beginning of a series of failures, one which ends with everyone being hurt, because of Adora’s betrayal of being a hero of love, in what could be considered a butterfly effect-

-> Adora takes the hurtful, close minded black and white view of morality of the rebellion, and applies it to her relationship with Catra- she ignores their intimate history and her promises, and implies that Catra must be evil like Shadow Weaver at multiple intervals following her defection. That is a failure of love, and of their lifetime of their intimate friendship with each other.

Catra had been hurt her whole life, she watched as Adora turned from her as a friend to be the enabler of their abuser. She's had enough of being hurt in this way, and Adora isn't even making an effort to understand why Catra feels so hurt by her actions. So, Catra wants to be free of Adora, who hurts her.

Catra fails Adora as a friend- ending the generosity of love we see her have in ep1-2, that she kept giving despite Adora being so hurtful towards her. Catra is done with Adora’s double standards, she agrees to fight the war against them all, since Adora so seemingly wants it as part of her new life and a 'destiny' which ends up being fake, anyways.

And so, the rebellion's close minded views creates Adora’s failure to Catra, Catra goes to war against them, and so, the one enemy they simply cannot defeat is created by their own close minded views that the forced on Adora...

The rebellion fails Adora -> Adora fails Catra (plus all of her former friends) -> and in reverse, Adora fails ALL of them -> rebellion alike, by failing to make the choice of love, of trying to make an effort to preserve her and Catra’s love, she turns Catra against them all with her lack of faith in their love, choosing to act hurtfully instead. It is a failure of being the hero of love that Etheria chose Adora to be...

A chain reaction that starts with Glimmer and Angella’s own hurtful views ends with EVERYONE being hurt- it amplifies the war, because, Adora is at the center of all that happens, and isn't being the hero she should be... you could ever say it causes a butterfly effect...

Still, Adora had a choice to be better.

Just like she had a choice to stand up to Shadow Weaver in the horde. Just like she had a choice to not turn on everyone in her old life, judging them in such hurtful ways, while never looking to help them. And, just like she had a choice to value her and Catra’s love, and through seeing how her actions hurt their love, seen that the duty she was so blindly devoting herself to was wrongly making her hurt people that deserved better from her.

Adora in s1 has so little emotional presence to be able to see her own hurtfulness- it's due to how she was hurt- that she places her concept of duty so far ahead of love that she can't even see the value of a lifelong relationship of love she had with Catra. Why would Catra think Adora cares about her, when she so casually betrays her, infers evil upon her, implies that Catra must be like their abuser ?

If, Adora was a more emotionally present person, she would have recognized that she needed to find a better way that didn't just brutalizing everyone from her previous life. And the rebellion itself doesn't help her, they just place their unfair expectations upon her. Her trauma makes it hard for her to see why love is important- she can hardly see the bond of love that she has with Catra... so, she doesn't choose love out of false belief in duty and fails to be the hero she's meant to be.. and everyone suffers for it.

In the end, Angella and Glimmer are not in themselves blameless for creating the situation they face with Catra’s determined war against them, because as leaders of the rebellion, they had been failing the vulnerable people in the horde all along.

As the saying goes, hurt people hurt other people. It's true in life and it's true in SPOP. Mostly people hurt each other because of trauma, and in SPOP everyone's trauma adds to the sadness of the war they fight for 4 seasons, horde and rebellion alike, not just Catra... or Adora. It's not the war they needed to fight, it never was, and as such they are all mostly caught unawares when their mistakes in this way results in Horde Prime finding them- ie- the true enemy they all should have been preparing to face...

... Which, it must be acknowledged, results from Glimmer's choice of trying to use a despicable super weapon to win a war- one in which her own bad attitude hurtfully influences Adora and therefore helped to amplify. Glimmer's act nearly destroys them all, while exposing their location to their true enemy all along...

Glimmer’s naive decision results in so much disaster that it really makes you wonder if the rebellion ever deserved to win the war with the way they conducted themselves...

I'd argue no…

Glimmer’s act, and how the princesses are caught so unaware of their true enemies- (ie, Horde Prime and the First Ones) shows them to be so naive that they likely would have inadvertently activated the Heart in time, and thus destroyed themselves, anyways.

They failed to be better, acting in way that added further trauma to the system. (..this is likely really a commentary on the chaos of war in general) And, the princesses really have NO excuse for being caught so unawares like they were- they don't know their own world's history- there's no real excuse for this. Especially when we see that it was indeed possible- Shadow Weaver uncovered much of it as part of her evil plans to attain more power. (Shoutout to Bow’s dads, who made a heroic effort to understand it, while starting from scratch- 🥰)

Add to this that Glimmer’s corrupted choice to activate the heart happens much as a consequence of her listening to, you guessed it, Shadow Weaver, and we have all the proof we need that the princesses don't understand their own “hubris”.

Long story short, everyone messes up the first 4 seasons, nobody is being their best- and so, Adora has to go to great lengths and great personal risk to herself to repair all of their previous mistakes during her s5 arc. She does this in a very beautiful way- she does it through the power of her love- *not* out of destiny, or duty, or even sacrifice. (Part 3)

Adora was always a hero of love, love IS her power, and she should have seen it sooner. Trauma is what blocked her.

A bit of sympathy for Adora:

Even though I'm talking about how she's wrong, Adora constantly found herself unfairly forced into bad situations by others' expectations put on her, some of which are evil, others are at the least unfair and corrupted by hurt. So, she ends up making some wrong choices… yet she's She-ra, she's still got to be better than that.

And Adora shows great courage in getting free of her trauma cycle to trust in the power of love instead of duty, like she was always supposed to do. How she gets past this trauma mentality is by simply learning to reconnect to her best self- and her deepest feelings of love and generosity that she was chosen to be a hero for by Etheria.

... Nevermind the First Ones-- Adora was still chosen by Etheria, as she was as a loving child, before Shadow Weaver ever managed to hurt her and make her into something else.

And, Adora finds this truth within herself with almost no help from anyone with her best interests at heart- Angella tries her best for ~3 minutes in the portal reality, to make up for her own hurtfulness towards Adora. (..Bow and Glimmer do help her some, but are very much involved in their own concerns..) Adora is a hero, but not by destiny… love is her truth.

Now... Adora’s burden as She-ra is indeed incredibly unfair on a personal level, yet as She-ra, she's still got to be able to make the right choices to be able fix the big problems she faces, and making those choices must be guided by love, not by destiny or duty.

So it doesn't matter that she's not responsible for the First Ones original evil, for which she was innocently born into- Adora simply won't quit trying to make it better, because that's who she is at heart. Trying to make things better is always a core motivation for Adora, even though she broke her promise of love to Catra. Love was always her guide, and her strength, that's why Etheria chose her, and in late s4 into s5, we see Adora begin listening to her truth of love.

So, Adora’s hurtfulness with Catra from s1-4 is just the most obvious symptom of how she's struggling with a trauma mindset that blocks her from being the true hero she's meant to be. This means that Adora and Catra's relationship issues and separation was always the real story of Adora's hero's arc, because Adora failed to look deeper and save their love because to her flawed concept of duty.

Being that hero requires not surrendering her reason to false judgements which require her to be hurtful to people who deserved her love and understanding, never mind if Catra makes everything worse with her own hurtful reactions. Adora always needed to be better than that, and being able to be so understanding of the moral complexity of their situation isn't easy, but, she learns to do it. Again, Catra isn't She-ra: Adora is.

::So, SPOP is one big story about people learning to not let their shitty attitudes control them, and of getting past them in order to become better people. Adora had a bad attitude in s1: it made everything worse, she turned on her former friends because of it. Catra’s attitude might be the worst of them all, but they all learn to be better- Glimmer, Angella, Mermista… the list goes on. Everyone needed to be better, and in s5 they are- it's what gives them the power to overcome Horde Prime together.

... Adora rescuing Catra is such an important part of her hero’s arc because of how she is a hero of love, but it's also important because she's making up for her previous mistakes of passing hurtful and false judgements unfairly upon her former friends... and against Catra. We also see Adora’s true powers emerge as she saves Catra, because she's trusting in love...

Speaking of Save the Cat… (part 4)

Still, if you're at all doubting that Adora struggles with being a false hero from s1-4, it's all well confirmed as Adora faces Horde Prime during Save the Cat in order to save Catra…

When Adora shows up to save Catra, and to save their love, Horde Prime pits chipped Catra against Adora, making her play out their entire history of hurting each other for false reasons in order for her to save Catra. This is meant to be a sly and forceful character assasination by Prime of Adora as a false hero, and as a bad friend. He wants Adora to feel weak, that her failures as a hero are so total, and her lack of love so hurtful, that it's much too late for her to fix her mistakes.

Because of his belief, he really isn't expecting Adora to succeed… yet, he doesn't know that Adora has found her truth of love…

He starts out by calling Adora a false hero, rubs it in that she's a First One, part of an evil empire that he easily defeated. And then, as she battles against chipped Catra, he tells her “you will destroy the ones you love in the process.”

This is supposed to be a scathing rebuke of Adora’s actions through s4. One where Adora, and the princesses at large, played into the hands of the First Ones manipulations, where she willingly hurt Catra in the name of her false destiny.

He reminds Adora of all of her failures, and how as a First One she's from an evil race of beings, she's totally at his mercy, just like the She-ra’s before her. He throws Catra at her, tauntingly, offering the chance for her to kill Catra, like she tried to do before in the service of Glimmer and Angella's corrupt expectations that she deliver them from the horde at any cost to herself.

Moments before Glimmer destroys the server, and Adora and Catra get their chance to talk, Prime rubs it in just how much Catra had to suffer for her sacrifice to protect Adora- “she was scared in the end, and she suffered”. A cruelty Catra shouldn't have had to suffer, but for Adora’s long standing history of betraying her for false duty.

Adora tells Catra she's not giving up on her, something she did through the first 4 seasons of SPOP with her blind righteousness towards Catra, never stopping to consider how she herself might have been wrong, instead stubbornly trying to enact her false destiny.

Prime compels Adora- it's too late, the damage is done, he's all but assured to win. She is behind enemy lines, and weak.. “then you are a fool, you cannot stop Horde Prime… he will reign triumphant… it is destiny”.

Her and Catra finally get to talk to each other when the server is destroyed, and as Catra reaches out, nearly taking Adora’s hand, wanting to go home again, he steals it away and taunts Adora one more time: “some creatures are destined only for destruction”- like it always was… Catra was meant to fail from the beginning, to die. And Adora was the tool of her abusers, she threw Catra aside as part of their evil plan to make her fail for their corrupt purposes. He sends Catra plummeting to her near death..

Clutching Catra’s dying body to her chest, Prime tells Adora “it did not have to be like this”. He's telling Adora that it never had to be like this, all of her betrayals of Catra, her struggles in vain against her false destiny, were done in a naive blindness that only ever made everything worse.

Everyone was made to suffer because of her naive belief in that 'destiny', she's failed, and if she's lucky, perhaps Prime might save Catra. By submitting to his will, maybe she can spare Catra her death... or if not... perhaps Adora can at least forget her mistakes like Catra has been made to do…

We all know what happens next. Adora is not the naive girl who played by the rules of her abusers, she's stronger within herself and knows she cannot abandon love. She's there for Catra- she's going to find a way to love her better, even if that's hard to do. As she says to Prime: "you miscalculated”.

And luckily for her, Catra, a true fighter for her own sacred life, surviving against a lifetime of death threats and near death experiences, is able to hang on just long for Adora to be able to save her from the brink of death..

None of this makes Catra’s actions during the war ok, but keep in mind that Catra shows great remorse for all of her mistakes. She's learned her lessons, too… and her remorse and then total confession of love hints that Catra never did what she did as part of wanting to hurt Adora..

Still… what really makes Catra fight against Adora like she does? After all… she had a choice, too, just like Adora did... (part 5)

Catra could have chosen to sympathize with Adora's views at the battle of Thaymore, after all, Adora was clearly right that what was happening to the civilians was wrong, yet Catra didn't.

As it so turns out, Catra isn't very impressed by some suffering of people who have lived their whole lives more privileged than she has, not when every day of her life had been a crime- surviving against abuse and torture with nowhere to run or anyone to turn to, Adora included.

Her life was that of an orphan, singled out for total destruction by their abuser, and as an orphan, the only way Catra knew for sure she could get free of that was through her own actions. She can't rely on anyone liking her or helping her because of innate magical powers like Adora does.

So, putting her life in the hands of the people who have only ever seen her as an enemy makes no sense, she's been hurt too many times before, including by Adora herself, to take Adora’s word for it.

But, she at least hoped that Adora would have chosen her out of love. Adora's willingness to abandon Catra so totally, and then continuing to behave so hurtfully in all of their further meetings, seems to tell another story.

All of Catra’s anger, and her worst actions through s4 can be summed up in one thing, of which never had to do with her wanting to hurt Adora:

Catra believes that she is totally alone in the world against her abuser, that nobody else properly sees Shadow Weaver's evil or will deal with it. And so it's up to her to do what must be done.

Everyone around her is an enabler in some way: Hordak didn't care to take a role in the Horde's everyday, only cared about results. Glimmer and the princesses become the worst kind of enablers of Shadow Weaver from s3 onward by taking her in, giving her total freedom in all but name. (And then there's the matter of Glimmer letting Shadow Weaver channel her power in s3ep4, which she uses to torture and nearly take Catra’s life yet again...)

But the saddest example is how she thinks Adora is a naive enabler who will never learn any better. Catra feels that way because of Adora's hurtful behaviors towards her, and how Adora couldn't even choose Catra out of love, instead vilifying her and hurting her as part of her false belief in duty.

She's wrong about this- Adora sees Shadow Weaver’s evil, too, she just doesn't know what to do about it. Adora had hoped that leaving her old life behind would free her from Shadow Weaver's corrupt influence over her, and yet... we see Adora struggle with how she was hurt right up until the end. Still, if she had just had one decent talk with Catra, it could have cleared up so much hurt between them so much sooner. (but they never did...)

Adora, as we see her in ep1, is a person that is so incredibly naive that Catra doesn't even need to feel that Adora ever intentionally enabled- Adora's blind devotion to Shadow Weaver's plan, followed by total willingness to abandon their fight against their abuser, while instead assuming evil upon Catra while hurtfully lumping Catra in with said abuser, means, as far as Catra could tell, that Adora was never going to choose to help her at all.

Adora’s behavior in the horde was so atrociously bad, that her continued hurtfulness after leaving seems to confirm Catra’s worst fears: that Adora really didn't care about her, and only cared about her duty.

If true, Adora having had no plan to help her would have made Adora's continued naive enabling of Shadow Weaver a clear and present danger to Catra's life. Was playing the favorite to their abuser really Adora's only plan? Would she have just continued to enable Shadow Weaver right up until she pulled off whatever betrayal she had for the two of them, killing Catra, or them both? It sure would seem so.

Add to this the fact that Adora just ends up having enabled a different evil manipulator as part of her deserting her, and Catra is done expecting anyone to ever help her with the realities of her abuser. If the princesses want to call her evil, while sheltering her abuser and further enabling Shadow Weaver’s evil, she won't feel bad if they all get hurt along the way. And Adora is naive, something Catra makes abundantly clear during their fights.

Catra does a lot of dangerous and hurtful things in the name of this belief. But, this is a trauma state Catra learns to wake up from, because she's lost just like Adora is, and her trauma mentality is destructive to everyone around her.

It leaves her with nothing… no moment of happiness, nobody to call her a friend, a life of absolute loneliness with nothing to live for except her drive to punish her abuser at any cost, with little to no chance of forgiveness for her violence. She learns every lesson the hard way- that no matter how much your abusers continued existence hurts you, there's simply some things you just do not do… you're no good to anyone if you surrender your heart to that kind of anger.

Catra does show deep remorse for all of her worst actions. And, she's lucky that Adora saves her. (even if she's a bit pissed at Adora for risking herself like that… 🥺😥)

But, in regards to whether she's abusive… in s5 we don't see that. Catra does act out a little bit while coming to terms with why Adora saved her- she didn't think she would ever get a second chance. From that moment onward we only see love and devotion from Catra, she doesn't want to live in her hurtful ways anymore, even if she still has no idea how to feel safe with her abuser running wild (Adora does see and her best to protect Catra from Shadow Weaver in s5). Catra can't keep living like she was, so living to help Adora makes much more sense.

My final appeal to people who have a hard time accepting Catradora… (part 6)

:: We should all strive to not let our personal hurt block us from appreciating people's situations, and understanding them. I know it may seem like I'm targeting Adora harshly, but that's why I went to such lengths to show how her issues play out in the narrative. Adora struggles to be her best self, like Catra does, and accepting this about her doesn't mean we need to love her any less than we already do!

Adora is absolutely precious, as is Catra… they never should have been hurt like they were- Adora as the ‘hero’ and Catra as singled out for destruction because of how she loved Adora.

They were always sweet girls, like the innocent and loving children we see them as in their earliest memories, before that day when Shadow Weaver hurt them so badly.

The beautiful love we see between them in s5 is what they always deserved- they should have been allowed to grow up with innocence and then fallen in love, but instead they got hurt because of the corrupt intentions of others.

They both spend the arc of the series trying to get past how they've been hurt, to get back to each other. And how they do that is by remembering the way they loved each other before Shadow Weaver was ever able to hurt them so much and drove them apart.

That, was always their truth, their love is good and pure like it is in those childhood memories. They were always supposed to love each other, and their division was a mistake that happens out of how Shadow Weaver and others have hurt them.

Both of them show tremendous courage in working hard to be able to step past how trauma controls them to be better, it's not just Catra who has to do this.

Adora does, too, because she's got to trust in love, not duty or destiny or sacrifice to be incredibly strong in the ways she needs to be to do the really scary things she has to do- such as stopping the Heart, and of solving a millennia old war that was never her fault, plus more. Love was always what makes Adora strong enough to do the very hard things which she has to do.

When Catra is given a second chance in s5, she sees that Adora is being hurt, and how nobody really helps her… they just expect her to do whatever has to be done. And that's wrong, because it’s unfair and it hurts her. Catra knows Adora has been hurt all of her life, she just didn't realize how much...

Catra may have been made to suffer because of Adora, but she survived that, and so she heals herself to be free of it as best she can in s5. And, Catra realizes she can help Adora, really really help her, to do the very hard things that are expected of her… Catra puts everything she has into helping Adora in s5. It's what Catra always thought she'd do, as the wiser child that knew how evil the world really was. She just got all mixed up inside, fearing that Adora would never really love her… and that was wrong of her.

Catra isn't really expecting redemption.. or even for Adora to return her feelings of romantic love back to her in the same way that she feels. She's a bit a of a pessimist, and has been left waiting her whole life to see someone show care and real love to her... But, all she has left is her love for Adora, and so she gives everything she has to her.

I think that's really courageous of her, and when she sees Adora is failing in the Heart chamber, she makes a dazzling series of romantic moves during the dream and the kiss- to show Adora that she's loved, that she's wanted, and that she's not alone. Brave, romantic moves which Catra didn't know for certain that Adora would reciprocate, but... she was still willing to do it, she loves her too much to let Adora fail, and die, while feeling so scared and alone. So, Catra does everything she can think of to let Adora know that she's loved. Catra deserves some credit for that.

We see that it works, as Adora has always loved her, too. Adora was just too blocked from expressing her love by her trauma. And Adora’s final test, as a hero of love, is quite simply to accept that she can be loved, not as a hero, but for who she is...

... I don't know what else to say to anyone who can't accept their love, or at least I won't here. I think it is the most beautiful love story I have ever seen.

In large part this is because it's not simplified. Catra and Adora’s love isn't just assumed to be kismet, they have to work hard to be together. They are both really bad communicators, and had to learn to talk to each other. This is true with most relationships, and in doing so they become truly loving partners to each other.

... So, it might have been nice if there had been enough time for Noelle to give us even one more kiss between them... but, I think Noelle wanted to tell us a very mature, grown up story about overcoming adversity to embrace love. And I think that's really commendable of them.

Sorry that took so long… Anyways, Catradora is the best ship, I don't make the rules! 😅🚢 ✨ I realize I won't be able to convince everyone, but that kiss was beautiful, was it not?? So, I hope my words aren't a total loss, and that maybe I can convince just a few people to feel like I do.

Love is power. 💞🏳️‍🌈☺️

:: Hi!! - I will gladly answer anyone's questions, and feel free to let me know what you thought of this. Thank you.

Also, if you've read this far, thank you for that- if you enjoyed it please consider giving it a ✨reblogg✨ or a like!! *humble thanks 🙇*

Peace and Love,

~EtheriaDearie 🕊

Some final notes:

Yes, I do realize these are fictional characters, but it's easier to talk about them this way- they are the nuanced creations of very creative people, meant for us to enjoy… in that way they might as well be real, because they have so much to teach us-

Got time to read something short (yes I mean it!!) that's mostly pictures? Check out this cool theory about Adora's dream it's real quick!! 💞🏳️‍🌈

-all hyperlinks are on tumblr. Here's a list of my other analyses-

LotFP = Legend of the Fire Princess. It's canon, important, a whole lot of fun, and worth checking out!! 10/10 😉

-note: I will not use the term 'toxic' because of how I feel the word carries cultural connotations which detract from discussion. However, discuss as you wish! I have no issue with the word or the concept, I just seek to be very clear in my meanings -

Finally, here's a link to a YouTube video of Adora saying Catra's name (fast forward to 0:40). You can really hear how her tone changes through time, in particular in s3 right before Catra pulls the switch, as Adora is coming to terms with her mistakes as She-ra. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=f_WRT3D3n_I

[charming-2d-boys]

yayy! the ask box is open!!! may I have a request on how the adultrio would do if they wanted to kiss their female crush so bad and lovingly, but their crush secretly likes them so they kissed them back😚? Thank you❤️

Ohoho, anon 😏

Here come the emotional ice cubes melting from a kiss (can you imagine that happening? ><)

Thank you for the cute request and I hope you’ll like it! 🙇

A/N: hope it’s cute enough, I really tried to make it fluffy. One of them is loosely based on a personal experience, he he 😏

Chrollo

whipped to hell and back

now Chrollo suddenly understands all those books and poems about love and romance he’s been reading

he thought they were beautiful, but probably a little exaggerated

how could a human being feel so strongly about another one?

well, turns out, they can

while the Troupe says nothing

not that Chrollo’s expression or mannerisms change much in front of them

when it comes to you, he seems… softer

like he can just breathe a little better, see the brighter side of things

those who have known him for long, like Pakunoda or Feitan, can sense the change almost instantly

Chrollo might try to act like he usually does, but even they can see that he seems a little bit distracted

plus, he spends just a bit more time on his phone than usual and sometimes smiles when he looks at the screen

he’s always amused by what you tell him

or when you send him a photo of something you saw

or thought he might like or that reminded you of him

the Spiders think it’s cute

crush or not, they know that Chrollo seems happier and it always makes them happier as well

he isn’t even sure if you like him back

you’re always friendly and affectionate with him

so he’s happy with what he can get, even if he’d want more

but he’s happy to be able to spend time with you

so when you’re both free, he invites you to hangout

he’d like to call it a date, but he’s not sure if he should tell you how he actually feels just yet

if only he knew that you were in the same situation…

you two always go to pretty interesting places and always have fun, no matter where you are

Chrollo is so happy when you’re enjoying the street food he’s bought for the both of you

you remind him of a little chipmunk

and he’s even amused when he takes a bit of the food from your cheek

which he hopes flusters you at least a little bit because it’s cute how you try to look anywhere but at him

it works, but it makes him chuckle, which you love hearing

so win-win situation

Chrollo insists on taking you home because he’s a gentleman and wants you to be safe

if there was something you’d noticed throughout your entire hangout it’s that Chrollo’s been glancing at your lips quite often

you’d checked your face subtly in the restroom and in reflective surfaces, but there was nothing

if you thought it was what it was, then you were ready

when you reach your door and turn around, Chrollo’s smiling softly

he’s still trying to steel himself to just do something and hoping it won’t make you resent him: confess, kiss you, hold your hand, hug you, anything

he’s been dreaming and imagining kissing you for so long

always replacing the characters in books with the two of you

and imagining all the romance and clichés in poems as he does them with you

Chrollo just feels like his heart won’t be able to go on for long if he doesn’t get to bring his thoughts to life

his eyes automatically go to your lips and you feel yourself smiling

you’re counting in your head until you will hug him

you wouldn’t want to kiss Chrollo and make him uncomfortable, after all

but before you’re done counting, Chrollo’s hands are on your cheeks, thumbs caressing the skin softly

and his lips are softer than you thought they might be

and whether he expects you to be surprised or not, you don’t really wait before kissing him back

well, Chrollo is actually the surprised one

he definitely didn’t expect you to react so well and so quickly

but he can’t complain

it only makes him pull you closer and deepen the kiss

it’s so easy to feel each other smile into the kiss

Hisoka

Hisoka has been “confessing” for quite some time

okay, I’m sorry, but it always makes you laugh

he just says it in such a teasing and eccentric way that it’s hard to believe him

well, that was Hisoka’s intention since the beginning

but over time, it just started becoming a little frustrating

he had thought about whether he actually liked you or not

Hisoka had taken some time away from you

it was because of something personal, but he also saw it as an experiment

during the first few days, when he was significantly busier, he barely had time to think of you, though you were still somewhere there, in the back of his mind

but you were always the last thought before sleeping and the first one when he was waking up

he’d sometimes send you some filtered selfies – his own way of reassuring you that he was okay

he honestly can’t wait to be done and come back to you

maybe he might even take you to some of the places he’s seen one day

…

Hisoka just realises that he might have a BIG tiny crush on you

the rest of the days he’s gone are spent reflecting and thinking about you

do you like him back?

do you even consider him a friend?

well, those questions will have to wait

as soon as he’s back and taken a shower, Hisoka insists on hanging out at your place

you’d insisted on having movie nights at least once a month

junk food, comfortable clothes, laziness and a nice and invigorating skin-care routine

the two of you pretty much just melt into the cushions after you’ve stuffed yourselves full

despite the invigorating face masks, you’re both pretty tired

not enough to fall asleep, but not enough to clean up the mess around you

you’re laying down on the couch, your head almost touching the side of Hisoka’s thigh while he sits upright, but a little bit slumped to the side, close to you

one of his hands is absentmindedly playing with the fingers on one of your hands

the movie playing for you isn’t the most interesting

well, your tiredness makes it even less interesting

Hisoka looks down at you and smiles a little when he notices that your eyes are closed

his hand squeezes your own before it leaves for your cheek

the touch of his fingers is almost feather-light

Hisoka’s pretty sure that you’re tired enough to answer his questions without really thinking through

(Y/N), are we friends? ♠️

Mm, ‘course we are…

And what would you say if I told you I like you? ♥️

Very funny, ‘Soka…

his expression sours a little at that

What if I’m serious this time? ♣

Sure you are… you always are…

Hisoka is actually a little annoyed

how dense could you be?

he would tease you and always make it seem like you had a crush on him

but he was actually serious for once – no smile, no teasing

too bad he didn’t realise that this was your plan ever since he’d started playing with your fingers

Then can I show you? ♦

Mhm…

he’s a little nervous, but he smirks nevertheless and licks his lips before kissing you

he probably expected you to either be shocked and hit him

or kiss him back sleepily

but you pretty much just kissed him back, a lot harder than he did

your hand cupping his cheek

his eyes were wide as he saw you open yours

and you let go of his lips, grinning mischievously

it barely lasted for a second before he was pulling you upright and in his arms, lips diving in back to yours as he smirked happily

you’d tease him about his so-called confession later

Illumi

someone help this poor guy already

yeah, so, Illumi had no idea that he even felt anything for you

for quite a while

he was a bit too dense when it came to how affectionate you were

some of your gestures were on purpose

pretty much just testing the waters

but Illumi thought that that’s how you treated everyone

so he didn’t see himself as anyone special in your life

cue face-palm

but yeah, you decided that you’d leave it at that

if it happened and Illumi would ever like you romantically, great

if not, then you’d slowly move on and remain only friends

it’s not until Hisoka jokingly asks Illumi if you’re single that he sort of stops

his fingers twitch a little, almost ready to grab his needles

and his bloodlust increases

Hisoka smirks knowingly before telling him that he was only joking

Illumi can’t stop thinking about the moment though

he keeps theorising about what it’d be like if you told him that you found someone you liked

oh, he did not like that at all

he would’ve asked you, but since you were the subject of the new… feelings he was having, it didn’t seem like such a good idea

so, on to the internet

pretty much every site he checked said the same thing: a crush on its way to becoming actual love

next level: denial

Illumi is an assassin

he doesn’t need friends

he doesn’t need love

so how did he fall for you?

not even he knows

but he knows that, as much as he denies it, he likes being around you

spending time with you, hearing you talk, hearing you laugh, especially if he made you laugh

the thoughts of taking you out and actually getting to be the only one for you slowly make him accept the situation he’s in

and the more time he spends with you, the more Illumi starts thinking about wanting to confess

you’re as affectionate and friendly as ever

and Illumi actually glares at anyone who comes close to you with the intention of flirting

that hangout of yours means the two of you go to a little ice cream parlour

Illumi’s treat, as he always insists

he’s listening to you talk about what you’ve been doing while he was away for a mission for a few days

to others, it looks like he’s zoning out, words going in one ear and out the other

but you know better

Illumi is literally hanging on to your every word, watching the way your eyes crinkle in happiness

they way your cheeks almost seem to develop dimples from how hard you’re trying not to smile too much

the way your lips move and how they look so kissable

he absentmindedly takes a spoonful of his ice cream

attention snapping to your laughter as you’re looking at him with a fond smile

you lean forward and Illumi does it too without even thinking

your intention was to wipe the side of his mouth with your napkin since he didn’t seem to have noticed the ice cream there

while he thought that you wanted to kiss him

so he did it for you instead

you were stunned for a fraction of a second before smiling and pulling him closer, hands on his cheeks

Illumi could feel his heart beat loudly in his chest

he didn’t see the shock on the other customers’ faces

honestly, neither did you

you were both a little too busy enjoying the moment

but when you laughed happily because your crush was actually mutual and you even got your first kiss with him

Illumi’s lips quirked in a little smile before he fed you some of his remaining ice cream

holding onto your hand tightly as you continued talking and occasionally kissing here and there

no one said a thing, too afraid of Illumi

good thing you weren’t