#i just assumed his parents were part of a rebellion not in that way!!!

[thisghosts-obsessions-again]

WTF!!! WTF!!! 🤯

[runningfrom2am]

cold nights // part twenty-three

summary: you were back in the capitol, and you would be damned if you didn't try your hardest to make it worthwhile.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 5.1k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: tribute!reader and mentor!coriolanus, r is very sweet (too kind for this world. literally.), sunshine x grumpy trope kinda, he falls first, violence typical for the source material, depictions of mental illness, also she's is very smart (as she should), district twelve!reader.

a/n: yayyyy s3 is here!! this has SO much potential and there is so much i want to do with this from here but i believe this will be the last season!!

my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)

send me any and all of your thoughts! here!

series masterlist // playlist

You had the train car all to yourselves. Few peacekeepers were allowed to leave in the wake of the murders, and for that you were thankful. You were able to let Tybalt out to explore the car, but he mostly stayed on your lap.

You felt guilty about taking him, you didn't even want to ask until your mother insisted, and Coryo wouldn't deny you bringing him. You thought about maybe taking him to a vet when you arrived. There were hardly any in Twelve, none of which made time for domestic animals that weren't livestock of some kind. You had to assume that in the Capitol that was a completely different story, so maybe this would be good for him.

It was dark by now, and Coryo was fast asleep on the bench next to you, head pressed to the window. You suspect he hadn't slept at all the night before.

"Sejanus." You whisper. "Are you awake?"

"Yeah." He replies quietly, sitting across from you at the small table.

"Are you okay?" Your question is met with a few beats of silence.

"I was meant to go with them." He whispers. "I didn't want to go back there."

"The Capitol?" You ask. "Why not?"

"It's not my home." He answers simply. You can hardly see his face in the dark, but you can tell he's sad. Grieving the life he could have had.

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"Sejanus?" You whisper, leaning forward to try and see him.

"Hm?"

"Was Lennox going too?"

"No." You can see the shadow of him shaking his head in the dark. "He was only going to bring some supplies for us out to the cabin at the lake and leave them for us to pick up on our way."

You breathe a quiet sigh of relief. He couldn't have left. You knew you couldn't bear it- and your parents would not cope well losing another child. You thought he wouldn't do that, but you weren't confident enough to say for certain. You'd much rather have a rebel for a brother than never see him again. Though, to you, helping friends was hardly an act of rebellion.

"What... what are you going to take?" You ask, hoping to change the topic. It was nice to have him talking again. "At the university, I mean."

"Medicine. I'd like to be a doctor, I think. I want to help people, maybe out in the Districts."

"Of course." You grin. "That's so like you. Your patients will be very lucky people."

"It'll never be enough." He shakes his head and you frown. "I can't help everyone. And everyone outside the Capitol needs it so bad. Did you know my father is the head of munitions in District Two? I'll never be able to make up for the pain my name has caused. Never."

"Well..." You look down at the cat curled up next to you. "You saved Tybs. I can't even tell you how much that means to me. Everything you do will mean so much to people. Even if it's just one person, I think that is more than enough. To try is more than enough."

You see the ghost of a smile twitch on his lips. "Thanks, Y/N. You're gonna do good things, too."

"How unhappy is he who cannot forgive himself."

Sejanus sighs. "Extremely."

A few hours later, it was your turn to sleep. At least, to try. It was hard to get comfortable, curled up on one of the benches with a bag of your clothes as a pillow and Tybalt insisting on sleeping on top of you.

You were just drifting off, you could hardly keep your eyes open, when quickly a nightmare jolts you awake. Bang! The sound of a gunshot- in your dream state you know it's the bullet that found a home in Cole Harlem. The next 'bang' was the sound of your head hitting the table next to you when you shoot back up, unintentionally scaring your cat off of your side.

You hiss, placing a hand on the side of your head and rubbing it through the pain. "Ow..."

"Y/N? Are you okay?" You hear Coryo ask quietly, followed by footsteps across the centre aisle of the train car.

"Mhm." You hum, trying to squint to see him in the poor lighting. It must be almost morning- there's a blue wash beginning to paint over everything onboard, including his form as he's crouched down next to you.

"Let me see..." He says softly, hands already lifted ready to touch you. To see if he can help.

You move a little closer, dropping your hand so he can gently cradle your face in his larger ones, using a finger to turn your head to the side as he examines the bump on your temple.

It's impossible for him to see in this lighting, but if there was blood he would be able to tell. "Just a bump." He whispers. "You'll be alright."

You just nod slightly under his grip, eyes searching for his in the dark. Neither of you want to move. Being this close to you, having you come home with him is a gift he wouldn't dare miss by blinking too slowly or letting his hold on you drift.

"Nightmare?" He asks quietly and you just nod again. Without a word, you're moving back on the bench to the window and he is sliding into the spot next to you. "Do you think you'll be able to get back to sleep?"

"No." You answer softly, giving a slight shake of your head.

"Can I ask what it was about?" He asks. "Tigris always told me talking about it helps."

You chew your lip, looking away from him and down at the empty table. "Cole."

Coryo tenses next to you, his jaw clicking from the small movement. "I... I am sorry." He doesn't know what to say besides that- and he feels like telling you that dirtbag deserved it would do little to help the situation.

"Can I tell you a secret?" You whisper, voice mostly steady.

He nods, watching you expectantly. You take a deep breath. "I'm glad he's dead."

You must be a changed woman. It was hardly like you to say something like that- let alone feel it, but keeping it in would just keep you up at night. Coryo wouldn't hate you for it, you're sure.

He looks at you, head tilted while he confirms with himself that you did, in fact, just say the words he heard. You were the most gentle soul in Panem, he was sure, so what on earth could he have done to you to make you say something like that? Now he was more sure than ever that he did deserve it. "What did he do to you?" His gaze softens as it finds yours, and you slightly shake your head.

"It's... kind of a long story." You whisper.

"I have all the time in the world for you."

He sees the ghost of a smile tug at your lips, and you look down at your lap to process your thoughts. "He just... doesn't, didn't know how to take no for an answer." You try to explain it briefly, but the way Coryo's eyes widen makes you backtrack. "I mean, no. I'm sorry. He didn't hurt me. Well, he did, but not in the way that that sounded like." You take a deep breath. "He asked me if I would like to go on a date with him, and I said no, thank you, because I knew him and I knew he had a temper and I didn't think we would work. So, he would wait outside my school and follow me home everyday. He kept asking, I kept saying no, but he didn't listen. It only made him more mad."

It was a rare occasion that you felt so numb talking about someone who had died. "Then, about three months before the games, I guess he couldn't take the rejection anymore and he dragged me away and... I don't know how to describe it... beat me up. I suppose." You laugh dryly, only noticeable to Coryo because he was watching. "Lennox found us, really got into it with him and then had to literally carry me home with his own black eye and bleeding nose."

He nods slightly in understanding, holding himself together from throwing a fist through the window. He was right. That piece of human garbage did deserve it. Now he had every right to be glad he was dead, and so do you. It makes sense to him now, of course you'd only be pleased with a murder if it was someone who had hurt your brother- the fact that he had hurt you the way he did had nothing to do with it.

"You have every right to be happy." He tells you. "Shit, to be honest now I'm wishing I shot him myself."

"Coryo..." You sigh, frowning at him.

"Too far?" He laughs, and you can't help but join him.

"Yes!"

"'Kay, sorry, love. I'll keep it to myself." He raises his hands defensively, cocking his head to the side.

You're quiet for a moment. It's torturous for you both. "He's the reason I went in after you." Your voice is lowered now, noticeably. "He said that I had to go out on that date with him after you left, otherwise I shouldn't be shocked if my Pa ends up executed for treason."

Coryo swallows, staring at you in absolute shock. It just kept getting worse.

"I was terrified, I didn't know what to do, I couldn't be alone anymore. You would have left the next morning and I would have been with him. And I knew he wouldn't have let me talk to you ever again, and I was so scared you would hate me and you'd never know that I didn't have a choice."

"I could never hate you." He says, taking the calculated risk of reaching out to touch your hair, rolling the ends of the soft strands between his fingers. "It'd break my heart, but I wouldn't hate you."

"That's almost worse." You laugh quietly, eyes locked on his hand at your side.

"I'm glad you're coming with us. I don't know how I could live without you." He glances down at your lips, only a shadow in the dark as you pull your bottom lip between your teeth.

"Morning without you is a dwindled dawn." You agree, and that's all he can handle before he has to kiss you again.

He's so gentle when he holds your jaw in his hand and presses his lips to yours that you aren't sure if there really was a static shock that accompanied it or if that was just your body reacting to his skin on your own.

"I love you, Y/N/N." You almost swallow his words, smiling against his lips. "You know that, right?"

"I love you too, Coryo."

You tried to get as much sleep as possible over the two day ride, waking when the sun rises and you could feel the heat on your skin. You could see the tall buildings that made up the city in the distance.

People say that a ride back always feels faster, because you're familiar with the path; that your mind chooses to forget the uneventful sections. You believe it. The ride home had felt like it took an eternity, but this time it felt too fast. You were nervous; scared, more than excited. Even though this is supposed to be a good thing.

If Coryo had just asked if you would like to go with him, what would you have said? No matter how many hours you put into the question, you really don't know. Not until Cole threatened your family, anyways. You would have had to turn him down, then. Regardless, you were never given the privilege of a choice.

This isn't about him. You have to remind yourself. This is about saving your family, in more ways than one.

Maybe it really was a good thing that Cole was shot. You curse yourself for even thinking such a thing, but with him alive the only possible outcome was him having your father killed. You could only be the perfect girlfriend for so long- you knew him, one mistake from you and he would make true on his word. Then you would have to marry him in order to have another income. Your winnings from the games would only take you so far on your own.

You're not sure if it's the swaying of the train that's really making you sick.

You would get your answer an hour later when your train crossed the bridge over the river, and the Capitol was in full, glorious view.

You could physically feel the blood draining from your face as you stare out the window, unable to look away. You looked like a deer in headlights.

"Y/N/N?" Coryo hums, placing a hand on your leg. "You okay?"

You nod slightly, but you're hardly processing what's happening around you.

He frowns, leaning forward to be able to get a closer look at your face. You look like you're about to vomit or faint or both. "Look." He smiles, patting your leg and pointing out the window. "That tall building there, you see it?" You nod slowly, watching where he's pointing. "Up on the top floor there's a restaurant with big floor to ceiling windows that overlook the river and the mountains. It's beautiful." He's never been there, but he's heard it's incredible.

"And over there, that smaller, longer building is a mall." He tells you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and sliding closer as you continue to follow his hand. "On the outside there's this ice cream shop that makes the most amazing flavours. Literally anything you can imagine." He chuckles slightly. "I'll take you there."

You smile slightly, and the colour begins to return to your face with a slight rosiness in your cheeks.

"After the tunnel we'll pass the university." He grins. "It's a really nice campus, you'll love it there. They have a massive library."

You close your eyes as the train plunges into the darkness of the tunnel, nodding slightly.

"What would you like to do? We can go anywhere."

"I... today I'd just like to go home." You answer quietly.

"Of course, love. But another day, sometime in the future."

You think for a moment. "Is there a vet here?" You ask and he nods.

"I'd like to take Tybs to get looked at. He's not sick, or anything... but he's never been to the vet before so I'd just like to make sure he's in good health." You explain.

"Yeah, we can definitely do that." Coryo agrees. "And there's this bookstore that's three stories tall, you'll love it." He adds.

"Can I meet your cousin?"

"Yes, love. Of course. She'll live with us, you'll be the best of friends." Coryo explains, squeezing your shoulder. He hadn't yet considered you meeting his family, he didn't even have the chance to tell them you were coming. It would be fine, he knew that. They had the room and the funds to support another person now, that wasn't even a question. Tigris had been dying to meet you, wanting to know every detail about you before the games and especially in his phone calls home while he was in Twelve.

He realized suddenly that maybe he should be worried about his Grandma'am. He knew she had a prejudice against people in the Districts, she had voiced as much during his mentorship. She had even influenced a similar attitude in him his whole life- but you were different. You weren't like them, and she would have to learn that, but that didn't make him any less nervous about what she might say to you until then.

"I'm excited." You tell him, forcing yourself to only think about the good things to come.

Your hands are shaking as you pull into the station. You can already see it's a different one than you were pulled from last time, the first place you met Coryo. You grab your bags, holding the one containing Tybalt close to your chest as the door opens and you walk out. He wasn't too fond of getting back inside after having the freedom of roaming the train car, but you were grateful he was not a very temperamental cat.

Mostly, the station was deserted. There were a few peacekeepers here and there, but you still felt as though all eyes were on you.

You didn't notice when your friends were greeted by their waiting family members, still looking around and processing your surroundings.

"Y/N/N?" Coryo's voice brings you back to reality, and you realize you hadn't taken a single step away from the train yet. "Come here."

You smile as you walk over, eyeing who you assume to be his cousin.

"Hello, there." You grin, giving a slight wave but still holding tightly onto your cat.

"Y/N." Tigris smiles, her blonde hair draped over her shoulders in meticulously styled curls. "It's so amazing to meet you! I'm Tigris, Coryo's cousin."

"Yes, you as well." You nod, trying to mask your nervousness with a smile. "How are you?"

"I'm amazing, I am just so pleased you're here. What a great surprise!" She claps, and you take in her outfit. You've never seen such fine materials, outside maybe the silk scarf Coryo gave you that is now tucked in the old suitcase sitting next to his feet. You wonder if she made the clothes she was wearing, remembering he said she was a designer.

"Coryo has told me so much about you. I've been excited to meet you."

"I really wanted to come see you before the games but I couldn't get away from work, I'm so sorry this is the first time we're meeting." She says and you swallow, nodding slightly in response. "Will you be staying with us?"

"If... if that's okay." You say, looking to Coryo who nods.

"Of course that's okay." He answers on her behalf, but she nods in agreement.

"Yes, you're always welcome. We're so happy to have you."

"Thank you." You breathe a silent sigh of relief.

"We should get going, yeah?" Tigris says and you nod, adjusting your hold on the bag in your arms.

They start to walk, already talking about all the excitement of the trip when you get a tap on your shoulder. You jump slightly, turning and pulling your bag closer to your chest.

"Sorry, dear. I didn't mean to startle you." The woman smiling sadly at you must be Sejanus's Ma. He's standing with her, so it was the only assumption you could make.

"It's okay." You reply quietly, smiling at her politely.

"Y/N, this is my Ma." Sejanus introduces you, confirming your suspicions.

"Nice to meet you." You smile, and she brings her hands up to place on your shoulders, gently rubbing them.

"It's so good to meet you, dear." You feel so greatly comforted by her already. "Sejanus told me you would be staying for a while."

"Yes, ma'am."

"You call me Ma." She quickly corrects you, and you match her smile. You could cry- the burning behind your eyes is telling you that you just might. "We know damn well how hard this transition is, so if you need anything at all at any time, you call us. Okay? We'll help you however we can. With anything."

You smile at them, tears filling your eyes. "Thank you." You sniff, and she pulls you into a hug.

Graciously, and awkwardly with Tybalt still between you, you accept. You never want her to let go.

"Of course, dear. You'll always have a home away from home with us if you need it."

"I can no other answer make, but thanks, and thanks." You say, tears flowing now. You never seem to stop crying- but for the first time in a long time, it was from real happiness.

"Twelfth Night." Ma says as she pulls away, still holding your arms.

You laugh slightly, biting into your bottom lip and nodding. "Yes! You've read it?"

"I brushed up after Coriolanus came around asking for Romeo and Juliet." Ma shrugs, letting you go and letting Sejanus give you a hug as well.

"Coryo has our number. Call anytime, I mean it." He tells you and you nod against his shoulder. "But I'll see you soon, okay? We'll hangout all the time."

"All the time." You agree as he lets you go. "I don't want to keep them waiting, so..."

"Yes, of course. It was so good to meet you." Ma smiles.

"You as well, Ma. I'll see you soon I am certain." You wave goodbye and catch up to Coryo and Tigris, who stopped just a little ways away to wait for you. "Sorry..."

Tigris wipes the worried expression off her face. Coryo probably just had to explain why you were there. "Don't worry about it! Ready to go?"

"Yes." You grin, quickly wiping your eyes. "Lead the way."

There are so many things that you hadn't considered on the train ride. Such as, where was the nearest post office? Or how is Tybs going to handle being indoors constantly? You'll have to get him a litter box- you've never had one before since he was mostly an outdoor cat, and would he need toys now that there probably wouldn't be mice or birds for him to hunt?

Also, there was the immediately obvious fact that the stares you were getting were endless. People even stopped you asking for pictures on the way back- Coryo had to tell them no. Several times. It wasn't any longer than a twenty minute walk.

Everyone seemed so excited to see you, to talk to you. Or, talk at you, rather. It was uncomfortable, but it was so different than what you were used to at home. Especially after the games, people tended to literally cross the street to avoid talking to you. Here, it was the opposite. You were some kind of celebrity. You knew Capitol people liked the games, but you didn't know it was like this. You tried to be polite, but being celebrated for something so awful is hard to swallow. You almost preferred the shame that came with being avoided.

"Is it normally like that?" You ask quietly as you walk into the lobby of a tall building, the floors and pillars lined with white marble. You had never seen anything like it.

"I'm not sure." Coryo answers honestly. "You are the first Victor to ever come back, but like I said, people loved you. Thousands of people watched just for you. That's why I won the Plinth Prize- you boosted the viewership beyond what's ever been seen before."

"Oh." You answer simply, following them into a set of silver sliding doors in the wall.

"When we get up I'll make you something to eat, you guys must be starving." Tigris says as the mechanical doors slide shut again, and you tilt your head.

"Uhm... I-" Your question is halted by a steady shake of the small room you're in, and it feels like you're moving.

Coryo looks over at you and your wide eyes, furrowing his brow. "What's wrong?"

"Are we moving?" You ask, looking around. You're surrounded by mirrors, only seeing endless reflections of the three of you.

Tigris covers her mouth to hide her smile, and Coryo laughs. "Yes, love." The two of them look at each other briefly. "This is an elevator, in a second the doors will open and we'll be at our apartment."

"Oh, wow." You laugh slightly, in a small amount of shock.

"I didn't even think that you might not know what it is, I'm sorry." Coryo chuckles, gently rubbing circles onto your back as the doors slide open again and just like he told you, you were somewhere new.

"That's okay, I just have a lot to learn apparently." You giggle, shaking your head as you step out of the so-called "elevator". You look back inside it as the doors slide shut. "So, how does it work?"

"Honestly, I am not entirely sure of the mechanics of it but there's a motor up top, and when you press that button it lifts to you and then lowers to where you want to go." He explains as Tigris pulls out her key to unlock the door. "It didn't work for over ten years, so it's kind of new to me too."

He's trying to make you feel less embarrassed, and that makes you smile at him. "I see. That's neat."

"It is, isn't it?" Coryo grins. He was in absolute awe of you everyday, but now that he's realized that there are so many things you don't know, even as the smartest person he's ever met, and that he wants to show you absolutely everything. Had you even tried ice cream before? What else would be new to you? There were certainly no cars besides peacekeeper trucks in Twelve, not that he had seen anyways, so it must have been jarring for you to see civilian vehicles on the walk back. He should have asked.

As adorable that it was that there were things you had never seen before, it almost worried him in a way he hadn't considered before. You would need him around a lot- not that he minded one bit. He had liked that about the games, he knew where you were while you were caged up at the zoo and he could leave and come back with the comfort of knowing you would be there waiting for him.

His thoughts are interrupted when Tigris gets the door open, shouting for their grandma'am. He takes a deep breath, smiling as he holds the door for you. It is good to be home.

"We have company!" Tigris calls out as you walk in, and you look around focussed on keeping your mouth shut as not to physically gawk at their home. Their apartment was beautiful, with a somewhat open concept and halls that spun off in all directions from the main foyer.

"Oh, lovely! We haven't had company in ages. You should get the tea on, dear." You hear his grandmothers voice before you see her, sparing a glance at Coryo. If he's nervous, he doesn't look it.

She looks like the sweetest old lady, her white hair matching the shade of her silk robe and slippers. "Oh, Coryo!" She smiles, heading straight to him and giving him a hug. "How we have missed you..."

"I missed you too, grandma'am." He sighs, gentle as he hugs her back. When he lets her go, it seems like she has noticed you for the first time.

The excited smile on her face fades instantaneously as she looks you up and down. "Who's this?"

"This is Y/N. You remember I told you about her, right?"

"I do." She nods, a sour look on her face as she stares at you.

"Hello, you must be Coriolanus's grandmother, it is so lovely to finally meet you." You smile, readjusting your bag so you can hold it in one arm in order to extend your hand to her to shake. She doesn't take it. "You have a beautiful home, Mrs. Snow." You continue when she doesn't answer you, holding your smile and trying not to seem terrified. It was like the lead-up to the games all over again.

"What's in her bag?" She asks Coryo when she sees it move, ignoring you altogether as you awkwardly drop your hand.

"That's Tybalt, her cat. He's the softest thing, you'll love him." He smiles, an apologetic look in his eyes as he glances over at you. This is exactly what he was afraid of.

"A cat?" His grandmother gasps, taking a step back with a hand to her chest. For a moment, you were scared she was about to have a heart attack.

"Grandma'am, you love cats!" Tigris says, stepping back in from the kitchen with a kettle in hand. "Y/N, come join us in the sitting room. I'm just getting some snacks together."

"Not feral ones!" She replies, appalled.

"Oh, he's not feral, Ma'am." You assure her. "Unless you're a mouse or a bird, he's the gentlest animal alive."

"Coriolanus Snow how dare you bring these... these strays into our home!" Now she's talking like you aren't even there, and you can't help but laugh nervously.

You look away, anywhere but at either of them. Maybe you would be calling Sejanus and his Ma for somewhere to stay by the end of the afternoon.

"They aren't strays." He defends you quickly, frowning. Okay, this was what he was afraid of.

"Here, come sit, Y/N." Tigris says quietly, placing the kettle back down and guiding you out of the room with hands on your shoulders. "I am so, so sorry." She whispers as you walk away.

"It's quite alright." You insist. "She didn't know I was coming, it was all so short notice. I completely understand." She didn't even know you were staying yet.

The sound of Coryo talking down his grandmother faded into muffled sounds as Tigris closes the door to what looks to be a bedroom. "No, no it's not right." Tigris frowns, shaking her head. "I don't want to make excuses for her but the war and the dark days were so hard on her, a lot of the blame was placed on the people from the Districts. She lost both her children and she never really came back from that."

"No, I do understand." You smile sadly. "I'm so sorry you and your family went through that. It must have been so difficult."

"The war was awful for everyone." Tigris shakes her head. "Please, don't apologize to us. No one came out of that unharmed."

"Do you mind if I let Tybalt out?" You ask, eager to change the subject.

"Please." Tigris grins, clearly just as relieved that you weren't horribly offended by their grandmothers behaviour. "I'm excited to meet him."

You smile, crouching down and opening up the carrier for him to hop out. He does so promptly, taking advantage of the opportunity.

"He's so cute!" Tigris squeaks, crouching down to pet him. He was a little jarred at first by new surroundings, but he quickly accepted them when she began petting him. "It'll be so nice to have a fluffy friend here."

"Thank you for being okay with me bringing him." You smile, taking the time to look around the room yourself. Everything looked hardly touched, all sparkly and new with corner windows lighting up the space beautifully.

"Our home is your home." She smiles, standing up again and Tybalt is quick to run over to you, rubbing up against your legs. "That applies to both of you. Grandma'am will come around."

"Thank you." You smile. "The soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience."

When she smiles, you can see outside of the blonde hair how her and Coryo are related. "You truly are something else."

"Oh, I hope that's a good thing..." You laugh.

"Yes, absolutely." She laughs. "I'll go get that tea going again and get the guest room all set up for you. The bathroom is right across the hall if you need it, and Coryo will come get you when grandma'am has relaxed a bit."

"Thank you." You say again, watching your cat hop up onto the desk against the back wall.

She gives you a quick hug. "Welcome home." She says softly, shutting the door behind her as she leaves.

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[widebrimmedhatsblog]

Pleaaaaaase give me and all of us ALL the lore I would love it 🥹

Yay!!! Let me try and go in order of events?

Actual essay below the cut

Lilith! So, in this universe, there is obviously no deal with Xaden to keep Vi "safe" in the rider's quadrant, but Lilith sends her anyway because she still thinks Vi will be safer in the quadrant than in the scribes, venin-wise. Because of this (in the quadrant with no Xaden) a few things happen! Vi's generally MORE aware of the venin adjacent issues, she's less confident with her lightning, and when it becomes clear to Lilith that Col. Aetos is after Violet, she knows she has to figure something new out.

The storm! The storm is Lilith's doing. @k2jk and I chatted about this briefly, and they summed it up pretty well in that Lilith starts the storm to try and delay Vi from reaching Athebyne entirely, but when that fails, she adapts and overcomes (if you will) and decides to use the storm to keep Vi in the cave with Xaden. Obviously, she doesn't have the deal in this universe, but she knows Xaden, at the very least, cares about the venin problem, as she suspects Vi will too. Also, Vi had THREE dragons, so she was fine, battle-wise. I think in canon Lilith is out of town (LOL) when war games happen, but in this specific universe where (again) Vi doesn't have X looking out for her, I think Lilith would be a lot more hands-on (in her very Lilith way). Also, Lilith clearly has a thing with like, storms at times other people would not want a storm. Seems her love language is just ruining people's day!

Xaddy! So Em and I (@maethologies) captured the Xaden lore in this as instead of being a child of divorce as he is in canon, he is instead a child of PLEASE get a divorce!! I don't know what the math is precisely, but canonically, Fen Riorson had to have been pretty young when he had Xaden, because Sgaeyl is AROUND fifty, I believe. This led me to conclude that his mom would be pretty young too? So there's that part of things, and then add in the fact that their marriage/betrothal/sex pact was contractual and not out of love, and that Fen HAD to be a pretty hard core guy in regards to his commitment to the revolution, and I think we have a nice recipe for some issues! Amy @skyfallscotland's original prompt was that either the Tyrrish Rebellion never happened, or it happened differently, and I decided to take the happened differently route of things. And when considering how things could have happened differently, my first thought for a variable we actually know about was Xaden's mom. So, I made her Poromish (which I think she is, I just think she's hiding in the Isles in canon). Basically, the idea there is that she left when he was ten, but she did come back, and she was pretty in and out of his life. She's not queen, because his parents aren't married (afaik) but she's...around? sometimes? But, her presence in Tyrrendor was able to get Poromiel to throw some extra troops/weapons/money/ whatever who knows at the Rebellion, which helped the Rebellion win. Another thing Em and I talk about that is relevant to this fic is that we both see Fen/unnamed woman who is Xaden's mom as a mirror of xaden/cat, or what xaden/cat would have become, sans Vi. To ME, this means they were pretty toxic, fought a lot in front of Xaden, general manipulation what have you. If we ever get Xaden's mother's first name I will probably succumb to my demons and write a full prequel fic, but that day is not today!

Xaddy part 2! I said this elsewhere, but Xaden's gryphon gift is basically his second signet! That's how he cheats at rock paper scissors (what a guy!!) and that's how he repeatedly reads her mind throughout the fic. Vi doesn't seem to know about gryphon fliers having mind work gifts in canon until X tells her, so I assumed she wouldn't know. Also, like, of course he bonds Sgaeyl eventually. Of course. Not to @ Amy twice in one post, but I think of it as VERY similar to Keep Quiet in that it's like, we know this guy. We know his destiny. We Know. So yes, he bonds Sgaeyl EVENTUALLY, but not on page. I have an idea, actually, but I don't want anyone else asking me to write a continuation of this AU, so I don't want to say it publicly just yet, LOL.

I think that 's it for now? If there's anything else lore-wise anyone else was wondering about, feel free to ask!!

[14dayswithyou]

Teo being a nepo baby is so hot; do you have any info on his parents? (Not mha au no, just about normal them :3). Gotta meet my in-laws before I fight them for neglecting my husband.

✦゜ANSWERED: ROSIE PLEASE I AM ON MY HANDS AND KNEES BEGGIN U TO RECONSIDER!!!!! IT'S NOT TOO LATE!!! TEO NATION WILL STILL THRIVE I PROMISE

His father, Cristian, is the CEO of multiple research companies, one of the main sponsors for the NA University, and owns a few of the more luxurious properties in Corland Bay.

His mother, Kaori is a wealthy heiress and councilwoman, and is very close friends with the current mayor of Corland Bay.

Kaori also had an adoptive sister, but she passed away in a car accident alongside her fiancé. Losing someone so close to her was also part of the reason why she didn't want to give Teo any siblings.

His parents met in Aukland and instantly felt a spark, though they ignored it due to their busy schedules. But they ultimately kept bumping into each other in random tourist attractions, so they took it as a sign and finally became an item.

They also both had Teo out of wedlock, but shortly got married for his sake. And for the longest time, Teo believed the only reason his parents were still together was because of him. (it also influenced his beliefs on commitment and being tied down in a relationship)

Teo's parents often left the household staff in charge of taking care of him because they didn't have time to do it themselves. The head maid, a woman in her late 40's eventually took over as the role of his nanny, and is one of the very few people whom Teo has a soft spot for.

Kaori never saw Teo's rebellion as a cry for attention, and always blamed it on the household staff for bringing him up that way.

Cristian, however, did take notice of it, but assumed it was because Teo often felt coddled by his parents. So he had the entire right wing of the manor remodelled so Teo could have his own personal space.

Teo started bringing people home for... y'know... those reasons in an attempt to spite his parents, but they genuinely did not notice. He tried to ramp it up by blowing a hole in his wallet and staying out partying for weeks, but all his parents would do is look up from their phones and ask if he was hungry and wanted dinner to be served early.

Now that I think about it... fake marriage/relationship trope would 100% be up Teo's alley T_T He's definitely the type to use you by pretending to be his spouse in order to get some kind of reaction from his parents.

Overall I rate his family a solid -20000/10 and Teo a solid -5/10!! His nanny is the MVP though... I love her

[sickandunwell]

My Hunger Games Headcanons(pt 1):

The Capitol sex trafficked more people than just the Victors. The way Finnick's story is described gives off the impression that the victors are just the most popular/expensive/exclusive sex slaves, but there are more. Since District 1 tributes are almost always described as beautiful, and District 1 is the Luxury District, it's not farfetched to assume a lot of District 1 citizens' jobs includes sex trafficking if they're beautiful enough. THEY are the luxury as well. This would also explain why despite being one of the wealthiest, most propagandized districts, District 1 is one of the first to rebel.

Continuing from the second point, I headcanon that a lot of avoxes are also put into sex trafficking or are district citizens who refused to participate and were punished.

Lavina and the boy she was running away with were a couple. Based on the fact that the boy was immediately killed but she was captured, I think Lavina was a higher ranked citizen compared to the boy. Their relationship might have been what sparked their own personal rebellion.

Effie wasn't tortured physically but mentally through making her watch the torture and killings. Effie develops parent-like feelings towards Peeta and Katniss. When they're abt to go train for the Quell, she has the energy of an anxious mother dropping her kid off for their first day of school. Based on how Snow weaponizes love, I think his method of torturing Effie was forcing her to watch Peeta be maimed. For Effie it'd be like watching her son get tortured.

If Gale and Katniss went in, Gale would have likely killed Katniss. He loves Katniss yes, but he has a high sense of self preservation. I think he would also rationalize it to himself, Gale's family is larger than Katniss's. It's a choice between two civillians getting to live in the victor's villahe versus 4. He would still take care of Prim and Mrs. Everdeen. I actually think Katniss would want him to do it too. With Peeta, she preferred being dead over living with the loss of Peeta, even if it meant leaving behind her sister & mother(though she knows Peeta and other district 12 citizens would take care of them). Katniss fears emotional agony more than she fears death.

If Gale and Katniss were in the games, Gale wouldn't have pulled the love angle. Peeta has an intuitive understanding of social engineering AND he's willing to sacrifice the most intimate parts of his life to win the games. Gale would see it as the Capitol taking one more thing away from him. I do see him confessing his feelings for Katniss during the games. So there would still be a love angle but it would be accidental/not for the capitol. Katniss wouldn't have played into it unless Haymitch communicated it to her. Even then, I think it'd be hard for her to pull it off with Gale. Sure she finds him attractive, but with Peeta...she paid a lot of attention to him from the start. She was crushing on him before the games even started.

Another Gale/Katniss tribute headcanon: Katniss would have tried to take Rue as an ally but Gale would refuse. He's more pragmatic than Katniss. This would cause a rift between them. If Rue dies later, especially at the hands of another tribute, Katniss would probably feel like it's their fault for not protecting her. It wouldn't be a big enough rift to make them split up, but she'd be very distraught.

Katniss's feelings for Peeta started on the chariot. Katniss describes feeling an "unexpected warmth" [ch5] when all Peeta did was smile at her. She's so cute aw.

Following the last bullet point, I think Katniss and Peeta would have still ended up together if they were never in the Games at all. Katniss is very easily charmed by Peeta. All he'd have to do is get the confidence to talk to her.

The Capitol banned contraceptives for the Districts. Though I'm sure Mrs. Everdeen would have an herbal remedy for that sorta thing 👀

Mrs. Everdeen's family was wealthier than most other families. Mrs. Everdeen has a collection of fine dresses and has more upper class sensibilities compared to Peeta, who comes off as middle class. She really loved Mr. Everdeen to give that up for him 😭❤️

Wealth is inherited paternally. This is why instead of Mr. Everdeen living as a wealthy merchant with Mrs. Everdeen, they end up in the seam because he's a seam miner. This could either be the law or a cultural expectation for women to move into whatever the man has.

Mrs. Mellark abused Mr. Mellark. This is based on his personality, he's much more quiet and seems a little passive. But there's also the fact that Katniss has to make sure his wife isn't around when she trades squirrels. I dont think this is to protect Katniss from her, besides those awful things she said to Katniss, she respects her so much she has more faith in Katniss than in Peeta. She's also classist. So my headcanon is that the reason he has to be secretive with the squirrels is because Mrs. Mellark would find it uncouth or even disgusting. She would also see it as a waste of bread. It wouldn't be farfetched to assume she'd beat his ass for that sorta thing. Lowkey doubt she even knows what he traded for the squirrels

Mr. Mellark's trades are lucrative because he's fond of katniss and had feelings for her mother. Bread is so expensive most of the seam can't afford it and even the Mellarks themselves can't afford their own loaf of bread...yet he's willing to trade one of his precious loaves for a squirrel or two. Squirrels are tiny & lean. The entire family eats them too. Katniss wouldn't be bringing 4-5 for every trade, especially not during winter. There's probably days where she can only get a couple.

Most of the Hob sellers are descendents from the Covey. I just really like this headcanon lmao.

Just a reminder these are just my own headcanons I pulled outta my ass lol

[922skz1205txt]

a court of sunshine and sacrifice (felix)

---

information

pov: fae!oc(fem) x fae!felix

word count: 1.6k

genre: angst, sad, forbidden love, acotar au, day court au, fae au

warnings: main character death, violence (choking)

a/n: I fear this is another fic without a happy ending... but I do like the way it turned out. :) Hopefully, you do as well! This fic is from the perspective of Helene, the love interest of the story. Feel free to check out the masterlist for more information about this series and for a quick synopsis of this story. There is also information about the others that are coming soon!

images from pinterest!

---

No one had ever embodied the sun like Felix had. At least, these were Helene’s thoughts that plagued her at every waking moment. She thought of nothing but the famous golden heir to the Day Court as she swept the floors of his family’s palace.

Her hand brushed over a portrait of the royal family, smiling softly at the watercolors. The glimmering young boy stood proudly between his two parents, all the epitome of beauty. She had seen this portrait at least a thousand times, but it never failed to make her smile.

Helene, the daughter of two lesser faes, had known no other home but the palace. Her parents had spent their whole lives serving the High Lord and his family, and she was expected to do the same. Helene didn’t mind this; at least she would get to serve the most handsome, powerful fae of her generation, and perhaps even of those to come.

“Daydreaming again?” her good friend Luz asked, dusting the window next to the portrait.

“Is it obvious?” Helene blushed, wiping dirty hands on her apron.

Luz smiled at her. “It always is.”

Helene sighed and returned to her cleaning duties. She couldn’t help but gaze at the portrait in the heir’s study as she wiped the table under it. Felix’s golden hair stood out against the blue clothing his family was wearing. He looked to be about ten years old. The artist had even captured the freckles that dotted his rosy cheeks, making Helene grin. 

Helene remembered having to clean his toys they were both children. She had wished she could play with them as well; and one time in an act of rebellion, she did.

She remembered that day clearly. Her mother and father were in different parts of the castle, and it had just been Felix’s birthday. He had received a shiny new set of animal figurines. There were horses (her favorite), rabbits, bears, birds, and so much more. Helene couldn’t help but take one of the horses through the miniature trees and villages, pretending she was riding through the court she hadn’t been privileged to see.

She also clearly remembered Felix returning from dinner with his family, catching her playing with his new toys. Instead of running to tell his parents, as young Helene assumed he would, he had asked her to play with her. They took the animals on a journey through the Day Court, with Felix deciding where they may go, of course. She hadn’t ever played with him again, but she cherished the hour they spent together.

Helene snapped her attention back to reality. She looked around the study. Luz had left her to finish cleaning elsewhere in the castle, and Helene was left to tidy up Felix’s study alone. She glanced at the clock, noticing almost an hour had passed. She was now behind on her duties. Helene cursed her overactive memory and began to clean. Felix would be back to his study soon, and as a servant, she was not allowed to be seen.

She hurriedly cleaned the remaining windows, brushing every crack and crevice until they shined. She watched the clock dutifully. Another hour passed, and Felix had still not returned.

“Hm,” Helene hummed to herself. Felix was always in his study by seven, and he was never late. Her stomach twisted at the thought. Something wasn’t right. 

Helene brushed her hands on her apron and opened the door, peeking into the hallway. Surprisingly, not a soul was in sight. Helene held her breath and peeked even further down the hallway. She listened for voices and footsteps but didn’t hear a thing.

Perhaps everyone finished early, she mused, returning to the study and latching the door behind her. Her work was far from over; she still needed to sweep the floor. Helene listened to the swish of the broom as she worked.

A few moments later, she stopped, her body going still. She held her breath once more. Voices drifted up through the floorboards. These weren’t just voices, but screams.

She jumped backward as the door to the study flung open. Felix ran into the room and closed it behind him.

Helene, frozen in place, began to profusely apologize for making herself visible.

“No, no, there’s no time,” Felix said frantically. He flung the fur rug in the middle of his study to the side, revealing a hidden trap door. “Help me open it,” he commanded, his voice heavy with worry.

Helene dropped the broom and ran to his side, understanding his urgency.

“One, two, three,” he counted. Felix and Helene lifted the heavy doors with all their might. The voices became louder as they came down the hallway.

“Who is it, My Lord?” Helene asked, forgetting the proper way to speak to Felix with her head bowed. Rather, she looked into his frightened brown eyes, her own mirroring his.

“Hybern,” he whispered. “They’ve come for me.”

Helene gasped, clamping a hand over her mouth. She had heard the rumors, but never thought they would come true. The rival nation wanted the Day Court for themselves. Rather, they wanted the intelligent, powerful heir who they say can heal almost any wound and light any fire in a matter of moments.

As the voices approached, Helene held the door for Felix as he climbed into the secret passageway below his study. She could hear the pounding of footsteps just a few doorways away.

He held his hand up to her. “Join me, please,” he said, fingers stretching toward her.

She shook her head. She was a mere servant. Helene knew she was not worthy enough to follow him into his hiding place. She wouldn’t waste precious time filing down the ladder and latching the door. 

“Please, Helene,” Felix begged.

Tears sprang to her eyes at the mention of her name on his lips. She badly, so badly, wanted to disappear into the passageway. There was nothing she wanted more than to run away with him. It was all she had been dreaming about for years. 

But, the voices were almost to the door. She couldn’t let them find him.

“There is no time, My Lord,” she whimpered. Helene had to ignore the anguish on his face as she closed the secret door. She flung the rug over it, trapping Felix below.

Helene picked up her broom just as a band of Hybern soldiers burst into the room. They looked shocked to see only a servant in Felix’s study. She dropped the broom, cowering in fear.

“Where is he, servant?” one of the fae howled, making Helene tremble.

“I… I do not know, sir,” she replied, choking on her tears.

The fae soldier pushed her to her knees.

“I asked, where is the heir?” The man gripped Helene’s golden curls, bringing her face to meet his.

She whimpered at the pain, but it did not hurt nearly as badly as leaving Felix had.

“I do not know,” she cried, clenching her teeth.

At her response, another fae slapped her across the cheek, sending her crashing to the floor. Helene could taste the blood in her mouth, but she ignored it. She sat on her elbows, weak from the fall.

“I will give you one more chance,” the fae questioning her said.

Helene felt the power around her before she felt the pain. The fae’s magic wrapped around her neck, lifting her from the ground. The fae held her in the air high above the wooden floorboards. Helene’s hands clawed at her neck as the magic wrapped around her tighter.

“Where is the son of the Day Court?” he bellowed, clenching his fist.

Helene’s vision blurred as the tightness became unbearable.

“Answer me, peasant!”

She tried to breathe, just enough to mutter her reply.

“I,” she choked. Helene dared herself to look the fae in the eyes. “I do not… know.”

With a scream of rage, the fae twisted his hand. Helene felt the air leave her before her eyes fluttered shut. She could no longer see. She felt her body drop to the floor. She felt a blinding, warm light erupt around her. She heard anguished screams. The sound of retreating footsteps and falling bodies rocked the floorboards she lay upon.

Helene felt something, or someone, lift her body from the ground. She fell limply into someone’s arms. Their warmth astonished her, and if she could have moved, she would have nestled into them more.

“Helene? Helene!”

She tried to inhale, but failed, instead only shaking from the lack of air. She knew it was Felix, though his voice was becoming fainter. She could see the golden outline of his figure through her dark vision. She felt a hand touch her face. She attempted to reach out to the golden figure, feeling his hand take hers and hold them on his cheeks. They were wet, no doubt with tears.

“They went too far,” Felix cried, grasping Helene’s hand. “I can’t… I can’t save you.” A sob escaped his lips.

Helene figured this was the case. She felt her life string being pulled into a singular thread from the moment the Hybern fae’s magic wrapped around her.

“It’s… alright,” she whispered, wondering if the words even got out of her lips.

“No, no,” he said, leaning his head to hers.

Helene felt his golden hair brush against her skin as the string was pulled tighter. She smiled, the best she could, and sat quietly in his warmth for a moment. Helene soaked up the sun that radiated from him.

“I love you, Felix,” she whispered, each word causing more pain in her chest. She felt a gentle kiss on her forehead, making her smile even wider. “I always have,” she finished, taking her final, shallow breath before feeling the thread snap and Felix’s warmth escape her.

---

Thank you so much for reading!

[decarabiandivorce]

#old Mondstadt probably loved short stories like A Monkey's Paw and uses those types of metaphors a lot#a promise from their god of love and safety being twisted so... so they find ways to twist up the twist

Thinking about Decarabian's story later being told as a cautionary tale against a controlling suffocating 'love', and the role Amos would have played in such a narrative....anyway I'm curious what you think of Decarabian and Amos' relationship specifically as 'lovers' 👀

HELLO! I, TUMBLR USER DECARABIAN DIVORCE IS TOTALLY NORMAL ABOUT THESE TWO AND THEIR FAILURE OF A RELATIONSHIP.

COME CLOSER

I WILL NOT BITE

oKAY SO

My interpretation of Decarabian and Amos is that of two people that really cared about each other and so thought that perhaps they should be romantically involved with each other. I have a couple writings about how I think they would first meet (Left in my bestie's ask blog like a cat)

But! To understand that I must share how I interpret Amos! She is my babygirl and I think about her a nooooormal amount. Okay so Amos was a hunter at the start of the archon war, but thanks to her courtship she was basically cursed to have the same lifespan as Decarabian. This sounded like a completely sane and normal thing to agree to at the altar, a literal til death do we part. She had been alive for centuries by the time of the rebellion, and when her husband's 'heart' stopped so did hers.

Decarabian on the other hand, has been alive even before the time of the archon war,,, cause ya know,,, he needs to found Mondstadt. Now the city itself wasn't the only place that Decarabian reigned from. The snowy mountains had villages such as Sal Vindagnyr, and he was there to witness the celestial nail be dropped. He saw the horrors gods could inflict on other beings and this shattered his trust in any other divine being. Such a tragedy also made him think about how fragile humanity is, and thus he vowed he would keep Mondstadt safe. At all costs.

They both had a couple of friendships before this all went down, I like to hc Deca as knowing Kairos and thus when she went MIA it only fueled his parania. His closest neighbors were Liyue, and he did not trust a single god from there, and we all know he and Andrius had beef.

Amos, however, was a pillar of Mondstadt's community. She was a hunter! She was strong and powerful and in present-day Mond terms she would be as reliable as Jean or Noelle. However, Mondstadt wasn't as.... free as present-day Mondstadt. With her parents dying when she was about 20 or so, many people kept implying for her to start a relationship.

She.. hated disappointing them. She had never felt the need to take a lover before, but a companion? A friend she coudl share secrets with and be by her side? She craved warmth.

It only got worse when the war started and Decarabian is like "oh shield time everyone! :D " and now she was Stuck. Stuck and unable to go out to hunt. She felt like a burden. A testament to her name. She would spend long days helping out the city as best she could, telling every one of her friends that were concerned for her lifestyle that she was simply too busy for a relationship.

She... never felt an attraction to a person before. Never felt Cupid's arrow sting her chest and cause her to yearn. She had close calls, but could never imagine herself in an actual relationship with either of them.

Yet days in the timeless city still moved on, and the storms cradled the city in their razor-sharp embrace. She dreamed of the forest and of the hunt. She dreamed of those foggy memories of joining the hunting party. She dreamed that someone would understand that she didn't need a lover to be happy.

If this was a story told in the future, this is where the Monkey's paw would curl.

One day, she met a man in the armory and he was so kind and polite to her. No one in the city had seen their god's face, so she just assumed he was a noble or a guard. They talked for hours. He wanted to meet a person that people kept talking about. She would go silent as he mentioned those words, but in the end they became friends.

Yet... she was still troubled by her friends. It sucked have to sit through conversation after conversation about her future. How that having someone by her side would be good for her when she gets older! How having a spouse was a wonderful thing.

After many nights of pressure and debate, she asked out Decarabian. She wanted to experience this. Perhaps she was wrong! Perhaps she was just missing out! He was her friend, so it would be just like hanging out.

Before she knew it, people were happy for her. She was happy that they were happy. She was happy seeing Decarabian smile at her. But was she happy?

It felt like an item on a list being crossed out. An obligation she had to fulfill. She got what she asked, but...

...

Its fine! She is fine! Its...

its nothing.

don't worry about it.

(^ doodled them while writing this all down ehehe)

Years later, she and him were wed. Everyone was so happy. It felt like a dream walking down the aisle. The type of dream that you don't remember happening. The type that fogs the mind as you try to recall it. There are rings on her fingers now. It's a cold feeling, the metal against her skin. The ornaments in her hair are heavy. It's... its fine.

She is glad her husband feels so happy looking at her.

As lovers, they didn't really date. Neither of them found the point of all of it. They were basically roommates+ that slept in the same bed. Amos found out she loved to cuddle him as she slept. It's been so long since she had felt a loving embrace, and he had never felt a hug before.

She taught him a lot of things about romance, not quiet understanding him at times but they managed! She yearned to be held, and so Decarabian did! He was doing such a good job at this! He loved the ways she laughed. He loved her dedication to her crafts. He loved looking at her.

Yet the years went by, and soon Amos wasn't leaving the tower as often. Her friends had lives of their own, and she should have a life of her own. Despite having someone by her side, she never felt so isolated.

Before long, she was the only one left alive from that friend group. Decarabian put his arms around her waist, happy that his beloved was spending more time with him. She seemed sad.. so a hug should do the trick!

They never.. talked about this. They never talked about anything! They just existed with each other after a time, enjoying the other's presence but something was missing.

She felt safe. She felt a strong bond between her and Deca. She felt... happy? Complacent. It was nice being in the tower... but it was as dull as the grey sky.

It was only centuries of this limbo before she would meet a duo that would bring that spark back in her eyes.

So yeah tldr neither of them should have been dating each other in the first place but the norm that people who are close together should be lovers pushed them into a situation neither of them was prepared to tackle. Neither of them communicated their needs and thus suffering was caused. At the end of the day, they do care deeply for each other, and this only made it all much more painful. F in chat

Anyways links to my writings and a couple hcs pals and I have about the two

The Sun Post <- THE MAIN ONE TO READ

Bestie's commentary on it (^^^) that I rotate and I think everyone should see

Gifts

Expressions and Metaphors 

Everything is fine!

Amos means Burden thing again <- This one is a lot more short story -ish

The one Ring to rule court her

The basics in Language

How they got together

You know other men?

Touch

Should have communicated better oof

Average Deca compliment

The reveal

Speedrunning this huh?

[aita-blorbos]

(AU of canon background lore)

AITA for dethroning and trying to kill my twin brother?

My preemptive apologies. This is going to be quite lengthy, as there are many things to cover.

My brother and I (both 20M) jointly rule our region. We took power a while ago after leading a rebellion against the previous king D (50sM), who was extremely cruel; some of the things he did include laws to execute and/or torture dissenters, sending soldiers to raid and destroy poor villages and killing most of his family in an effort to protect his position.

Our rebellion was popular among the people, in part because we, or rather I, swore to change things and end the suffering of the people - between myself and my brother, I was the recruiter, as I'm a better public speaker. Also, we had the help of a dragon god who descended from the heavens to aid our cause, so people actually believed we had a chance.

Anyway, we overthrew D and became the new kings - we agreed to rule together, given we're twins and had always worked best as a team. I thought that now we were in charge, we could cast away the old, oppressive practices that D had set in place and create a kinder world. But my brother is the main lawmaker, and he continued with the exact same set of laws even after we took the throne - nothing had changed for the people. This was a betrayal to all the innocent people who joined and fought for us and our cause. I told him that, but he waved me off and said it was to maintain law and order. Not only that, but I found out multiple things he had been keeping from me all this while:

I had always assumed we were simply orphans whose parents, like so many others, were killed by D. I don't remember them because of an old head injury, but my brother does. As it turns out, we're also D's nephews. I only found out after we jailed D and he told me, even showed me proof of our heritage. My brother never once told me. And here I had been, telling people that our reign was a new era free from D's legacy, only to find out we have the same blood anyway.

In addition, and more horrifyingly, I found out that during our time leading the rebellion, my brother had been killing people within our ranks who could potentially pose a threat to our leadership. He says it was to maintain a united front, but these were brilliant people on our side who were executed just for having different ideas from us.

Thinking about it, my brother is not so different from D. He maintains the same cruel status quo that I had promised to destroy. If I am to change things for the better to make an ideal world, I have to remove him. The more I see the brutal way he treats others besides me, the easier it is to steel my resolve.

When we last held court, I denounced his inaction and cruelty publicly, making it clear that I was rebelling against him. It's a long story, but after a whole lot of fighting, it was clear that the bulk of the populace also hates him, and he fled with a few of his loyalists. The dragon god who had helped us was apparently so torn between which of us to support that They divided Themself into two dragons, R and Z, each one taking a side. Now, my brother is effectively exiled, but still keeps fighting back alongside his dragon, R, trying to retake his position.

Our region is embroiled in civil war yet again, only shortly after we thought we had achieved peace. The fighting between the dragons has scorched the earth, and soldiers clash in the streets. Our region is no better off than before we overthrew D. And, of course, I might have to kill my brother to quash this faction of people so intent on preserving the old status quo which has caused so much harm.

Suffice to say, I am not as certain of my actions as I should be. My brother has always been my protector and best friend, and I know he sacrificed a lot for me. And here I am, repaying his care by rising against him and killing him. But for the sake of an ideal world for our people, I have to oppose him. I cannot betray the other people who fought and died for our - or, as it turns out, my - vision of a better world.

AITA?

[leareadsheresy]

Fulgrim (the book, and not the other book also called Fulgrim but with a subtitle)

This post contains spoilers for Fulgrim, by Graham McNeill, originally published as a novel on (as nearly as I can tell) July 2nd, 2007. It does not contain spoilers for Fulgrim: The Palatine Phoenix by Josh Reynolds, published in October 2017.

Fulgrim is the story of Fulgrim, the Palatine Phoenix, Primarch of the Emperor's Children Legion of Space Marines, and his fall to Chaos during the leadup to and events surrounding the initial steps of Horus's rebellion in the Istvaan system as told in Galaxy in Flames. Like Flight of the Eisenstein, it starts by covering events significantly earlier than Horus Rising, beginning with the the Emperor's Children prosecuting a war of extermination against an alien race called the Laer.

Here's a plot summary:

The Emperor's Children exctinctify a species of sneople called the Laer and steal a magic sword from their central temple; the temple is very clearly (to the reader) dedicated to Slaanesh, one of the four big Chaos gods, the one that's all about sensation and excess and has become less and less about sex over time as GW realizes that gets in the way of parents leaving their kids at GW stores. Fulgrim takes the sword as a trophy; it starts talking to him but because he doesn't know what Chaos is he just assumes it's intrusive thoughts. Also the artists and documentarians ("remembrancers") who travel with the fleet go down to document the glorious conquest etc. and when they go to the big Slaanesh temple they all get obsessed with pursuing sensation and excess, kicking off a B-plot that'll be important later. Also also, the Emperor's Children's chief apothecary, Fabius, gets inspired by the Laer to invent cool new combat drugs and enhancement surgeries, which he sells Fulgrim on with the help of Fulgrim's evil sword intrusive thoughts.

Then the Emperor's Children fight a fleet of divergent humans called the Diasporex who have some aliens working with them; during this they meet up with the Iron Hands Legion and their Primarch Ferrus Manus who has literal iron hands on his flagship the Fist of Iron. The book talks about how Fulgrim and Ferrus Manus are bestest of best friends who each wield a weapon forged by the other, so Ferrus Manus has a big hammer made by Fulgrim and Fulgrim has a flaming sword made by Ferrus Manus. The Emperor's Children and Iron Hands wipe out the Diasporex. During this campaign, Fabius's combat drugs get widely adopted by the Legion and they start being less about pursuing perfection and more about pursuing combat highs.

Then the Emperor's Children explore a region of space where lots of ships disappear and find a lot of unsettled paradise worlds, and are approached by a space elf named Eldrad Ulthran who warns Fulgrim that Horus is going to turn traitor. Fulgrim's evil sword intrusive thoughts tell him this is a lie and Eldrad needs to die so they fight. Fulgrim kills an Avatar of Khaine and then gets mad and goes around virus-bombing all the unsettled paradise worlds they found.

Then Fulgrim takes the fleet to meet with Horus and is like "You're not planning to turn traitor, are you?" and Horus is like "So what if I am?" and the evil sword Fulgrim's intrusive thoughts go "Horus is awesome, if he does turn traitor you should totes follow him" and Fulgrim thinks "That seems reasonable" and says "I suppose if you were going to turn traitor I'd side with you" and Horus goes "Well, I am turning traitor."

Fulgrim then goes off to try to convince his BFF Ferrus Manus to join with Horus while the majority of the Emperor's Children stay behind and do the Istvaan III Atrocity, as told in Galaxy in Flames and the middle part of Flight of the Eisenstein. It does not go well, Ferrus Manus is like "I could never betray the Emperor, you're not my brother" and they fight, and then Fulgrim goes "You'll always be my brother" and wins the fight but doesn't kill him, hoping they can reconcile later. Fulgrim does have his fleet blast the shit out of the Iron Hands fleet, though.

Fulgrim then returns to the Istvaan system and, by Horus's order, spends a couple of months fortifying Istvaan V for a followup operation, during which time elsewhere a very angry Ferrus Manus and his Iron Hands (and also his iron hands), along with the Raven Guard and Salamanders, get ready to serve as the first wave of an assault on Istvaan V, to be followed up by a second wave consisting of the Alpha Legion, Night Lords, Word Bearers, and Iron Warriors. Just as they finish fortifying the planet, the Emperor's Children attend a musical concert called the Maravaglia put on by those Slaanesh-crazed remembrancer artists, which ends up being one of those King in Yellow dealios where the play performs them, a bunch of demons are summoned, everyone in the audience goes crazy and sexmurders each other (well, all the non-space-marines, anyway), and Noise Marines get invented, though later on when 30k gets its own game the 30k-era Noise Marines will be called Kakaphoni.

Finally, the Iron Hands, Salamanders, and Raven Guard launch their assault on Istvaan V, followed by the Alpha Legion, Night Lords, Word Bearers, and Iron Warriors who land behind them and then open fire on the first three because it turns out those second four are also secret traitors. Ferrus Manus is on the planet charging towards Fulgrim to have a duel when he sees this, gets extra mad, and they fight again. Fulgrim really doesn't want to kill Ferrus Manus but his intrusive thoughts goad him into it, and as soon as he cuts off Ferrus Manus's head he realizes that his intrusive thoughts have actually been the demon sword all along and that he's damned himself, at which point it starts laughing at him. He tries to stab himself, but it's like "No, you shouldn't risk doing that, because who knows what agonies of regret your spirit will suffer after death; you should let me give you oblivion instead" and then Fulgrim in his moment of despair accedes to this, at which point the demon in the sword just possesses him and shoves his consciousness into the back of his mind to watch and scream forever as the demon pilots his body around for the rest of the Heresy. The end!

So Graham McNeill seems to be improving. In part this seems to be him developing as a writer and in part it's that he's just... writing fewer arguments. There are a few arguments in the book and they are just as stupid as every argument he wrote into False Gods and "The Kaban Project," but they take up less space. I... don't know if it's good? It clarified an order of events for me, and it continues to hammer home the theme that Chaos works quickly and destructively, like it's not subtle at all, you start out going "There's no harm in touching this sword" and then you're cutting off people's faces and stapling them to your knees in no time flat, and in the meantime murdering anyone who isn't inclined to degrade as fast as you.

I dunno, it's decent for what it is. It's not aggravating the way his earlier works were. I liked it, I guess? This is not high literature.

There are some peculiarities, four of which stick out to me.

First, uh... there's a bit where some remembrancers are talking about how they wish they could go down to the surface of Laeran more freely to document the Emperor's Children victory, but are being prevented from doing so because there's "still resistance" on the surface, and then in the very next paragraph they mention that the Laer have been rendered extinct. So... did the sneople have vassal species? Robot drones? It'd have been nice to hear about them if so but I guess not.

Second... the decision to have Ferrus Manus know about Horus and Fulgrim's treachery seems to cheapen the events of Flight of the Eisenstein a bit. Like the whole thing with the Eisenstein is supposed to be that it's the last, desperate hope of the loyalists doing an Odyssey to get news of the Horus Heresy back to Terra in time to counterattack, which tragically results in the Istvaan V Dropsite Massacre when Horus turns out to be one step ahead of them, but here it kind of comes across as that all would have happened even if the Eisenstein hadn't escaped. Dramatically it's an odd choice. I might have written it so that Ferrus Manus comes out of that first fight convinced that Fulgrim is a traitor but not knowing Horus is or something, that feels to me like it would have worked better.

Third, and this is specific to me: At some point during the book Fulgrim is introduced to the work of ancient Terran poet Cornelius Blayke, who is clearly just William Blake, and starts quoting him. Like he has him say "He who desires but acts not, breeds pestilence." And that works well for the book... but I've played Devil May Cry 5. Anybody else who's played DMC5 will understand the effect this might have -- and indeed does have -- on certain dramatic moments.

Fourth, this is less important but I think very funny... okay, so the book establishes that Ferrus Manus and Fulgrim, when they first met, had a crafting competition -- Fulgrim made a big hammer and Ferrus Manus made a flaming sword. At the end of it, each of them proclaimed the other the victor, and they swapped weapons and that's why they became BFFs. And during the first fight, they're fighting with the weapons they made each other, so Fulgrim's got the sword and Ferrus Manus has the hammer. Fulgrim breaks the sword and then takes the hammer when he wins and leaves, and later Ferrus Manus fixed the sword. So when they fight again on Istvaan V at the end of the book, Ferrus Manus has the flaming sword and Fulgrim's got the Laer blade, but when he sees that Ferrus Manus intends to fight him with the flaming sword he made, Fulgrim stows the Laer blade and spends most of the fight using the hammer, so it's an inversion of the previous fight, with each using the weapon the other used last time, the ones they made themselves instead of the ones they gave each other. It's honestly pretty neat!

GW sells minis of these two characters, and they're meant to serve together as a diorama of the fight on Istvaan V as well as serving as minis to use in games of Horus Heresy. Fulgrim's got the Laer blade, which, fair, that was what he was using at the end of the fight, but Ferrus Manus has the hammer, because he's a hammer guy and his game rules are for fighting with a hammer. And I get it, if you're making a Ferrus Manus mini he'd better be wielding his big hammer! But if you put the two of them together as a diorama that means Ferrus Manus is wielding the weapon that his opponent was wielding in the fight that it's a diorama of. I am choosing to interpret this as symbolic of the way the Horus Heresy's status as a commercial product will forever be in tension with the artistic aspirations of the people who work on it.

[knockoff-conlon]

modern dorlene hcs!!

Marlene:

loud. always. she said it kept her brain at bay. she liked to yell and shout and draw attention to herself.

blonde hair that gets fucking everywhere. everywhere at all times. catches on things, too, like dorcas' rings.

really bright brown eyes.

fastest runner in her elementary school and high school. VERY fast.

tall. 6'2

smart but she doesn't apply herself as a way of rebellion against her family.

neglectful, abusive family that she runs away from when she's fifteen.

her phone background is actually a picture of her and remus, not her and dorcas

closest with remus out of anyone. lived with him when she ran away. they were extremely codependent and didn't have an boundaries. james and dorcas accepted that they were a package deal

90s grungey style. a lot of flannel, ripped clothing, leather, patches.

violent. it was an unfortunate habit from her family. she would get very angry very fast and it transferred to violence, though she tried to never hit her friends and she NEVER hit dorcas.

had a running bet with remus over who would get their braces off first when they were thirteen. (she lost but says she won)

lots of tattoos. one of those people who didn't really have meaning for said tattoos. she just likes the look.

tons of piercings- about eight or nine in each ear, eyebrow, tongue, septum, nose.

musical lover. hope lupin introduced her to all her favorite musicals.

has dorcas saved in her phone as 'side-ho #1'. dorcas knows and loves it.

swears a lot. the marauders, valkyries + dorcas made a swear jar to stop her swearing so much.

jewish convert, conservative jew.

got with dorcas when she was eighteen. once they did get together, they were very close and very in love.

touchy with remus and dorcas. not with anyone else.

designer fr tho. she makes her own clothes and makes her friends' clothes, too.

smokes + she has a lighter with a dumb design on it from remus.

steals remus' clothes 24/7.

looms over people menacingly.

very severe adhd. has a habit of being distracting as shit, forgetting to eat, a hatred for certain sounds and feelings, and hates overhead lighting.

candles. all the candles.

knows how to shoot a gun and often does go to a shooting range.

part spanish and french, speaks both languages.

dyslexic.

will eat anything someone puts in front of her. from nachos to fajitas to escargot- she'll eat it all.

really strong. can lift about 450

trust issues.

hockey player.

multiple concussions.

partially deaf due to repeated head trauma from said concussions and abuse from her parents.

Dorcas

she's tiny, literally 5'0 on the dot and so she makes evan and marlene get her things on tall shelves.

gets really anxious sometimes and bites her nails because of it. pandora does complicated nail art on her nails so she feels bad biting them.

flexible as shit.

very feminine, which makes people assume she's straight.

makes her own jewelry and creates a small business of it at her high school. she makes a small fortune off her earrings.

big on romance movies, cries at them. loves horror movies, too, doesn't flinch.

resting bitch face, 100%

lives in a trailer with her dad. mom ran away when she was, like, two months old.

can play bass.

eyes so dark they're almost black.

has a tattoo on her wrist for her dad. it says 'i love you' but in his handwriting.

marlene left her hockey jersey at dorcas' place one day and now dorcas wears it to sleep.

loves to take pictures, has a lot of really embarrassing, weird photos of her friends, family, and marlene.

really good at baking, can back anything. god awful at cooking.

plant mom

fairy lights everywhere in her room.

at one point sold weed to help with the money at her place. now she does it for some extra money.

HUGE activist. got into a lot of trouble at school for it but then barty would be louder and more violent about her getting in trouble and cause a riot.

cold, all the time, no matter what.

big reader, bonded with regulus, lily, and remus over it.

atheist number one but will go to shul with marlene if she asks, specifically the high holidays.

farmer's markets, vintage festivals, and art stores are where she spends all of her money.

loves to paint but there's not enough room in her trailer so she paints outside while her dad reads beside her.

pineapple pizza is one of her favorite foods.

barty, evan, and dorcas hang out together and dye their hair with each other. regulus and pandora do not participate and hang out together elsewhere.

is super, super close with her dad and she tells him everything.

steals barty's clothing because she likes his style and men's clothing is more comfortable.

draws on her converse and marlene's leather jacket.

worships minerva mcgonagall. the art teacher.

scared of flying.

gave herself a lot of her own piercings.

Dorlene:

they have 'design dates' where marlene sits and makes clothes, and dorcas works on her jewelry/works on new art.

nauseatingly affectionate sometimes.

that one picture with the girl straddling the other one and doing her makeup. that's them.

flat is always super loud- marlene playing music and them dancing, working on their university assignments and their work.

marlene spends a lot of nights at dorcas' trailer and becomes best friends with her dad because of it.

marlene does bring donuts or coffee for them all the time.

shit talk people but in sign language.

dorcas comforts marlene during nightmares and marlene comforts dorcas during anxiety attacks.

never explained they were dating to their friends, one day just kissed goodbye and everyone just went with it.

marlene picks her up and carries her places (the doctor, cause dorcas is scared of the doctor and refuses to go)

dorcas bakes marlene cookies and muffins when she's sick.

dorcas cheers marlene on at all her hockey games, even though she finds hockey dumb.

dorcas takes marlene to vintage stores and markets and marlene always ends up carrying whatever dorcas buys.

marlene takes dorcas to shul with her on the high holidays and makes snide commentary about the people at her shul. dorcas tries learning hebrew to at least be able to follow along. doesn't work super well but marlene appreciates it anyway.

take turns deciding what movie go watch together. marlene likes action/adventure and dorcas loves a dorky romance movie.

marlene takes dorcas to italy to visit marlene's older brother. make solid plans to move there one day/honeymoon there.

road trip together with them and their friends.

can definitely do the dirty dancing lift.

had picnics on the balcony at their flat all the time. marlene used her candles to make it more atmospheric and dorcas' plants also helped.

kinda broke until marlene's fashion and designs hit it big.

femme x butch, fr tho.

dorcas used petnames all the time. marlene always got flustered and dropped what she was holding.

marlene learned how to style dorcas' hair, how to do braids and stuff like that so she could do dorcas' hair.

very in love, cutest couple ever, and kind of losers with each other.

[solicelegacy]

WIP-

So im working on this HL fic an its definitely still very much a work in progress but honestly i've been struggling with motivation with it.

The idea behind it is suppose to be a chapter(or maybe a couple chapters) of Amit's future memoir, and it's all about the new F!MC 5th year through his view. I personally haven't seen anyone else do it like this, and it's been on my mind since I first played Hogwarts Legacy.

Im hoping posting just a snip of it will push me into the motivation i need. This is just the potions class part the writing so I hope you all enjoy. I'd love any feedback you can give <3

p.s. Forgive my writing, I literally haven't writen anything in years

--------

The days went on, and I didn’t see much of the new 5th year other than classes. However, the talk about her never seemed to stop. From helping classmates with miscellaneous tasks around Hogwarts, fighting trolls in Hogsmeade to even rumours about the dark wizards called Ashwinders looking for her, she appeared to get more mysterious than ever. While allegedly everyone knew her, nobody seemed to know her. Nobody knew about where she came from before Hogwarts, nothing about her family, no one could even tell you what she liked to eat since she appeared to never be seen in the great hall during designated meal times. The only thing people insisted they knew is she took to spending time with Sebastian or Natsai, but getting information from those two was as impossible as taming a graphorn. I was beginning to assume that having a conversation with her was never going to happen, until that fateful potions class.

I remember this potion class like the day I first discovered my parents' Gobbledegook notes. We were tasked to make the perfect wiggenweld potion. Professor Sharp had called on me to explain why it’s a handy potion to have on hand. A simple question really, a first year should even be able to answer it. However, if you find yourself reading this and don’t know, wiggenweld is used to sterilize and even heal a variety of injuries but not all injuries so don’t rely on it as a cure all. With Professor Sharp's nod of approval and points awarded to the Ravenclaw house for my answer, we began to brew our potions. 

The new 5th year was stationed on the other side of the room, just being in the same room as her was making me anxious. How was I supposed to approach a person who has built such a strong reputation in just the few days they’ve been here? As much as I wanted to ask her every question that I could possibly think of, I decided to observe them between the steps of making my own potion. It was probably the safer option to not get too close to someone who supposedly had ashwinders on their trail. After all, it took almost all summer to convince my parents Hogwarts was safe to attend even if there were rumours about a goblin rebellion happening. 

I’m not really sure what I was expecting when it came to their potion making. After their show in Defence Against the Dark Arts, I was positive there would be a magnificent spectacle awaiting in this class, but there wasn’t. There was no flair when crushing Dittany leaves, no throwing all the ingredients into the cauldron at once, no massive explosion when adding the horklump juice, just normal uneventful potion making. If it weren’t for all the rumours you’d think she was just your normal everyday Hogwarts student. 

Soon enough Professor Sharp got up from his desk to check on each student, making sure they were following instructions carefully. He made his way to the new 5th year first, assuming he was skeptical of them succeeding on making a flawless potion their first try. But as Sharp had approached their station, she had turned to face him holding a perfectly green potion in a vial. With all the commotion of the classroom it was hard to hear what the Professor was saying to her but I managed to makeout something about ‘recent exploits’.  I could only imagine what he was referring to but the rumours don’t make it that hard. She gave Professor Sharp a nod before heading towards his office door only to be stopped by the lively red headed gryffindor, Garreth Weasley. 

It was easy to tell when Garreth was planning to make whatever concoction his mind made up that day. He would have this specific gleam in his eyes, with a mischievous grin to match. When he made that face you knew an explosion of some kind would surely follow. This time they both were closer to me so I could hear them. Garreth double checked to make sure Professor Sharp wasn’t listening before asking her to collect a fwooper feather among the ingredients for her edurus potion she was tasked to make. She seemed hesitant, not wanting to get on Sharps bad side to which I don't blame her for not wanting to cross an ex-auror. However, Garreth persisted to which she reluctantly agreed too. Her expression showed uncertainty compared to Garreth's beaming smile of success as the two parted ways.

Hearing Professor Sharp’s office door close behind me, I returned to finishing up my own potion. The colour finally being the perfect shade of green, I slowly began to pour it in the empty vial. Before turning in my now completed wiggenweld potion, I went over the steps in my notes just to triple check I followed each step correctly. I was so engrossed with my notes I didn’t notice the set of footsteps walking towards my direction. 

“I was impressed you were able to answer Professor Sharp's question about the wiggenweld potion.”  The unfamiliar voice had startled me out of my thoughts and quickly turned around to only be met with a friendly smile and a small wave. It was her. Up close she didn’t appear very intimidating, she just seemed like a normal 5th year as excited to learn as any other of our peers. Her eyes however, seemed to have this fire shining bright with determination. 

I gathered myself quickly to introduce myself so as to not be rude. While I had reservations about her with all the rumours and hobbies she seems to have, she was actually quite pleasant. I took this opportunity to complement her flawless effort on her wiggenweld, she really did seem to have a knack for potion making. My nerves were getting the best of me, I simply kept rambling on but she didn’t seem to mind, smiling and nodding to the almost nonsense spewing out of my mouth. Our conversation wasn’t a long one, we parted ways with the knowledge that we would be sharing Astronomy class together. A class I was always excited to attend.

As she headed in the direction of her potion station she almost seemed to hesitate before heading towards Garreth instead. She appeared to be reluctant to hand over the bright pink fwooper feather to the very eager Weasley who gladly took it from her before she could change her mind. If only she knew what she had got herself into. 

She was in the process of making her edurus potion when the show began. As no surprise to anyone but the new 5th year, Garreth’s concoction started to spark like fireworks before quickly bubbling over, splashing all over himself and neighboring stations. Annoyed groans had come from Sebastain and Natsai who were the unfortunate victims to the putrid concoction. With a clearly frustrated sigh from Sharp and points taken from Gryffindor he had called for whoever Weasleys accomplice was to answer to him as well, looking towards the new 5th year who was bottling up her potion doing everything to avoid Professor Sharp's piercing gaze. 

When she finally couldn't avoid his gaze forever, she made her way towards his desk in the front of the room. I couldn’t tell if Sharp was more annoyed or disappointed in how she chose to spend her class time. Usually actions like this resulted in detention or house points taken away at the very least, not this time. Maybe because it was her first offence with him or maybe it was because she gave a genuine apology about her actions, who knows. Professor Sharp seemed to be just as impressed with her work as everyone else was. With a final warning to her about ‘not a potions master quite yet,’ he dismissed the rest of class. Almost instantly she turned on her heels to apologize to her unfortunate foul smelling friends for the mess she caused them before bolting out the door claiming she had somewhere to be. 

[heavensbeehall]

"Catching Fire", Chapter 18

Part 2: The Quell

Chapter 18: Katniss is very worried Cinna will be killed. For his interview, Peeta tells the world Katniss and he are married and she is pregnant. All the victors hold hands in an unprecedented show of unity. Then the Capitol shuts everything down. Haymitch has some final advice. "Stay alive," as always but also something new: "remember who the enemy is." The next morning they head to the Arena. Cinna is beaten. Katniss is raised into a water Arena.

End of Part 2.

[Cinna] makes a small, gracious bow. And suddenly I am so afraid for him. What has he done? Something terribly dangerous. An act of rebellion in itself. And he's done it for me. [...] and I'm afraid he has hurt himself beyond repair. The significance of my fiery transformation will not be lost on President Snow.

We all agree that Cinna is part of the Rebellion, right? That this was not an accident or coincidence? Snow was trying to shame Katniss with the wedding dress and Cinna transformed that into something else. That alone would be something. But to turn her into the symbol of the rebellion?

Cinna should also leave the Capitol now. But he doesn't. He gives his designs to Plutarch, so it's not like he didn't have advance warning. It's such a strange thing. To think he must have gone to school, studied fashion, worked his way up in the Hunger Games system somehow--I assume they start as preps? I'm not sure--He finally gets to design for a tribute and he picks Katniss, makes dresses for her for a year, and then makes a dress he knows will get him killed. Not just end his career. End his life.

But there is a sense that this is what he wanted the whole time. Maybe he just expresses himself through fashion and he feels this is how he "says" his piece.

And the description of his beating is just a paragraph, really. Katniss is the only one surprised, I think, and even she knew he was in trouble.

There. He's done it again. Dropped a bomb that wipes out the efforts of every tribute who came before him. Well, maybe not. Maybe this year he has only lit the fuse on a bomb that the victors themselves have been building. Hoping someone would be able to detonate it. Perhaps thinking it would be me in my bridal gown. Not knowing how much I rely on Cinna's talents, whereas Peeta needs nothing more than his wits. Katniss is Peeta's biggest fan. If you did a shot everytime her inner monologue is about how good, nice, or smart he is, you'd be drunk after one chapter.

I sense Peeta reaching out for me. Tears run down his face as I take his hand. How real are the tears? Is this an acknowledgment that he has been stalked by the same fears that I have? That every victor has? Every parent in every district in Panem?

You know what this made me think of, which is kind of unrelated but hear me out. In America we have a school shooting problem. Kids die every year. But I have read that the way the news media has covered the school shootings--by highlighting the killer or killers' story and narrative--that it encourages more shootings. This is how you become famous. It go so bad that after the Parkland shootings students had to ask the media to please not use the shooter's name and instead focus on the 17 kids who were killed.

But the way the Hunger Games coverage focuses on the victor (do they get a "winner's edit"?) it diminishes the lives of the Fallen.

And here Katniss thinks about Rue's family, and wonders if Peeta has the same fears of having children as her. Now I think Katniss' aversion to having children is probably an extreme example but I bet every parent in the districts has thought about their child being reaped. And every kid has had nightmares about it, or thought about what they'd do.

Like how kids have to do school shooting drills now in America.

I also wanted to say something about the Capitol caring more about a fictional unborn baby than poor-already-born kids. Because that is so like rich people.

I have too many thoughts.

I should cut this. (And I do apologize for comparing shooters to winners, but more about the media coverage, k?)

[jyndor]

For the people not understanding the idea that the Rebel Captain we meet in RO is SO different from who we met in episode 1 of Andor, isn't that kind of the point???!!

The Eye heist is a key experience for Cassian. For him to lose the idealist Nemik, who you've rightly guessed as someone who didn't really need to bother himself with ideas of Rebellion on such a large scale, and to INHERIT his idealism with the manifesto

And him so coldly and ruthlessly killing Skeen - the mercenary who thought the only way to lift yourself up is by standing on the heads of others. Cassian essentially killed that part of himself. The final crumb of calculated survivalism that he was holding on to. Because, like Luthen said in 1x4, he knew that if he loses that last bit of self preservation, he is gone. He will die fighting the Empire.

But, inheriting Nemik's manifesto, and thus inheriting Nemik's idealism, Cassian is now on the road to not die fighting the Enemy, but fighting for the Rebellion. For hope.

It's that difference that's the key. It's an internal process, not an external one.

When I say this series has been occupying all of my mental capacity!!!!

So I think this may be a situation where it's a should versus is thing. I think people understand that Cassian in the beginning of Andor isn't the Cassian in Rogue One, but some people don't believe that he should be the Cassian as he is written in the beginning of Andor. Because of one line: "I've been in this fight since I was six years old."

I don't think anyone assumed Cassian wouldn't be darker or more ruthless in Andor than in Rogue One - he should be, because he needs to get to the point where he cannot take the thought of giving up on the Death Star plans after doing so much shit that - morally grey or not - hurt him.

Let me be clear in saying that I love the show so far. And I think there is enough subtext so far to give me the vibe that we don't know exactly what Cassian has done in terms of being a rebel in his own way - imo I would not be surprised if they reveal that Cassian did actually fight on Mimban, or that Clem was a partisan of some kind, or that Cassian's been doing a fair bit of insurrection (I mean it's on his record). The issue I have with the show pushing him as someone who is focused on self-preservation is that is Jyn's arc.

Jyn is one of Saw's greatest soldiers until he abandons her at 16. She becomes disillusioned with rebellion as a self-preservation tactic, a way to protect herself from her trauma, but she does do some rebel stuff here and there in her own way. It's why she is in Wobani. A lot of viewers interpret Jyn in the film as actually indifferent when she's actually just A) pushing people's buttons (especially Saw's) and B) trying to protect herself from a cause that has always caused her emotional strife. The novel does a lot of heavy lifting on this (Cassian immediately picks up on her need, her fire - and even wonders how no one else on the council seemed to get it) but it's there in the film, too. Some jackass forces her to go on a mission for the rebellion and eventually an idealistic brother-like guy with a message inspires her to be more.

I am all for Cassian and Jyn mirroring each other because I think they were always intended to mirror each other. I don't even hate Cassian not being a child soldier and just growing into the Rebellion forever. But Cassian calling out Jyn on Eadu doesn't sit right with me if he really wasn't a rebel at some point early on. Yes, Jyn had the privilege of not getting involved in an organized rebellion from 17-21 but she was basically homeless that whole time (after the Pontas' deaths in Rebel Rising), it doesn't feel good for him to say that when he also didn't join up until 21.

I know the point may be that Cassian would have always had politics thrust onto him because of his indigeneity whereas if Jyn's parents hadn't rebelled against the Empire, she would not have had to make that choice and would have been able to live quite comfortably. Okay. But she was a child soldier regardless.

So I think the criticism some people have is that they would have preferred the show approach Cassian as someone who was in a resistance of some kind early on.

The saving grace would be Cassian knowing what he is against like he tells Skeen and Nemik. Him having an ideology of a sort already. But the show needs to tread carefully when it comes to characters who are coded as being from the Core or the galactic version of the Global North "teaching" Cassian about rebellion and anti-Imperialism. Cassian, whose whole life has been defined by it because of where he was born. He doesn't need some Coruscanti spy to tell him that he'll die fighting the Empire because Cassian surely already knows that the Empire will kill him in one way or another. When you say that he is now on the road to die for the Rebellion instead of against the Empire, 100%.

I don't think Cassian necessarily inherits Nemik's idealism, Cassian already has some idealistic tendencies - searching for a sister who is likely already gone for example - but I do think he is more of a realist and will be inspired by Nemik's manifesto. I hope that in fact Cassian makes it better. Refines Nemik's extremely thoughtful but naive idealistic ideology with his lived experience. What I don't want is Nemik "teaching" him that rebellions are built on hope. I want that to come from Cassian.

(I hate when prequels add some other character's context to things from the original that stand so nicely on their own. I don't need someone else talking about how rebellions are built on hope because I think Cassian should be the one to realize that himself. If that is his driving belief, the force behind all the things he does that he hates, it needs to be from that internal process you mention).

And absolutely: Cassian killing Skeen is Cassian killing that last bit of self-preservation in him, but it is also killing for the Rebellion. In a way that was more than killing for his own sake (him killing the mall cops was based lol acab but also purely something he had to do to stay alive). Skeen might have killed him if Cassian had taken him up on his offer but it's uncertain - I actually think there's room to interpret Skeen in a lot of different ways and not just as a self-interested double crosser the whole time.

That uncertain about Skeen is the point: it never crossed Cassian's mind to steal the credits for himself. He was helping the rebellion, he was being in the rebellion the way he likely always wanted to be, but he also was taking care of his basic needs. There was no uncertainty in Cassian. He hates the Empire, and he likes these rebels. And wants them to succeed. Skeen either just hated the Empire but didn't care about what happen

Nemik trying to justify mercs to himself is interesting because he probably didn't ever consider that someone might actually want to fight but couldn't make it work without it being paid work. Not everyone is ready or able to run off and go be a revolutionary (some people have families that they are responsible for, etc). Cassian is honorable and decent, and obviously intends to pay his friends and Maarva back for the credits he's borrowed.

but i know you’re right lol this show is TAKING UP MY THOUGHTS

[alicent-vi-britannia]

Kallen and the problems with her mother

Although episode 9 of R1, Refrain, presents us with the first adventures of the Black Knights and the oppressive and painful situation of the Elevens, it is clear that the main conflict is the relationship between Kallen and her mother and this will be the main narrative thread.

In this episode we take a deep dive into Kallen's double life. On the one hand, she escapes from home at night to carry out her clandestine activities in compliance with her duty as a Black Knight. And, on the other hand, she tries to keep her public life afloat as a student at Ashford Academy. But Kallen's difficulties lie not in balancing both sides of her life while she tries to cover up her secrets, but in her private life: her mother works at home while enduring all kinds of humiliation and scorn from the lady of the house and the same Kallen respectively; her brother, the only person she got along with and understood her best, is dead; she's treated badly by her stepmother (come on! She's straight out of fairy tales!) and her father is conspicuous by his absence and none of you will convince me otherwise (Mr. Stadtfeld is no different from Charles zi Britannia and Genbu Kururugi, the series doesn’t leave him well planted as some fickers believe).

But why is Kallen cruel only to her mother and not her father, who is worse for not assuming his parental responsibilities? No, this has nothing to do with the fact that the plans for her father were scrapped, Kallen hints that her relationship with him isn't bad in her conversation with Milly in this episode. Why does Okouchi only focus on working on the relationship with her mother? Well, remember I told you that fathers are role models for men and that is why Suzaku and Lelouch have daddy issues in my other post? I suspect it's the same for women with respect to their mothers: they are models that they embrace, reject, or idealize or demonize (I just thought of Brave, Freaky Fready, and Black Swan, movies that deal with the relationship between mother and daughter, and it seems that they give me the reason). Like Suzaku and Lelouch, Kallen rejects the model that her mother represents.

Kallen values, among many things, rebellion, self-sufficiency, freedom, and independence. Her mother is the antithesis of all that. She is a docile, passive and resigned woman (qualities that Kallen detests with all her soul). Meanwhile, Kallen gets up to fight Britannia, her mother kneeling and bowing her head to Britannia. I'm sure her delicate family situation inspired Kallen to fight. She will have seen the abuse that her mother suffered and decided to make a change (in the same way, her brother was an example for her to follow). After identifying as Japanese (and expressing her sympathy towards an oppressed social sector), she will have thought: "I’m not going to put up with harassment or lead a submissive life like my mother". That's why she claims him for depending on Britannia, a man and drugs. Deep down, Kallen is reproaching Mrs. Kozuki for her inaction.

I also feel that Kallen treats her mother with disdain in order to induce her to leave home because Kallen is aware of the suffering her mother is going through: the vendor scene of hot dogs is an echo of Kallen's mother's situation and Lelouch's words hit her hard (I don't think she refuses to admit that her mother is having a hard time, considering that she knows full well the hardships the Elevens face, since it would be a contradiction on her part, even if she have mistakenly assumed that her mother decided to work as a servant to be with her father). And, of course, Kallen herself literally says it once when she snaps at her mother for her to meddle in her business, when she comments that her daughter has gone to school more often: "please, just go away".

It doesn't help much that Kallen is an Enneatype 8 (according to the Enneagram), since one of the difficulties with people and characters that type of personality faces, if they are average or unhealthy, is that they don't like to feel vulnerable because it makes them uncomfortable. If you notice, when Kallen finds her mother drugged, she scolds her for being "weak" and that's the ideology Britannia is founded on: being weak is wrong and Kallen opposes that (she's also an Enneatype 8 social subtype and is the type of personality most involved in social justice). Therefore, this type of personality tends to protect themselves with a shell and live on the defensive, reacting belligerently to threats because they want to avoid being harmed at all costs (yes, Larry, this problem extends to Lelouch). . Hence Kallen is in utter denial. It's one of the contradictions of the character, but don't get me wrong, it's in a positive way because it shows Kallen's humanity: in the same scene with the hot dog vendor, she slaps Lelouch because he says hot dot vendor can live a better life if he submits to Britannia. Kallen knows that this isn’t true through her mother's experience, so Lelouch's comment is very insensitive to her. Throughout the episode Kallen is telling herself that she doesn't love her mother (and I would add that's why she is cruel to her too). It is her way of saying to herself (and, thus, convincing herself): "this does not affect me", despite the fact that her actions and her micro-expressions indicate the contrary.

By the way, it's almost impossible to tell what Ms. Kozuki's MBTI Type is, but her eneatype is obvious: she is a 9 (or the Peacekeeper). I have no doubts and yes, many tests (enneatype 9 is the complete opposite of eneatype 8, the Challenger, and you want another free fun fact? It’s also the eneatype of Nunnally).

Fortunately, Mrs. Kozuki isn’t a neglectful mother like Genbu or Charles, she loves her daughter, her love isn’t twisted like Marianne's, she is the stereotype of the self-sacrificing mother/woman that Fyodor Dostoevsky likes, and her intentions are made clear in the same episode and our favorite redhead assimilates them, acknowledges her mistake, decides to forgive her mom and reconcile with her (I'm glad Okouchi didn't extend this conflict beyond this episode as it would have been quite annoying and hateful for the viewer to see Kallen cold-shouldering her mother over and over again). So we can conclude that her problem found her solution in communication (like almost all problems). Honestly, I can't blame Mrs. Kozuki for not telling her daughter about her since, putting myself in her shoes, it's easy to think that Kallen would suffer for this choice and not consent to it at all; however, it was necessary to save himself from this horrible misunderstanding.

Personally, I am heartbroken by what Mrs. Kozuki says under the Refrain: "I'm so happy for you, Kallen. Now you can be a British. Now no one can hurt you. You can use the phone and even travel." In short, she enumerates some rights (which are here privileges) that Kallen can enjoy as a Britannian woman, and only at the terrible price of giving up being her mother (I think Kallen, too, may have resented her mother for giving up rights and duties maternal).

I really liked that in episode 9 they show us a photograph of a little Kallen with her brother and her mother and on her face there is a sticker, which anticipated the tense relationship between Kallen and her mother, and when we are in the Code Geass epilogue, we're shown the same photo, but the sticker no longer covers Ms. Kozuki's face (and, sure, her hand makes a cameo and from the brief gesture they exchange, it's a fact that things they are fine with each other).

One of the best episodes of the series and one of the most touching relationships anime has ever built.

PS: I also analyzed at the hot dog vendor scene because I think it's underrated and it's a very powerful scene. I would like to upload it one day here.

[overtsexting]

Leo/Camilla/Xander poly. But Camilla assumes Seigbert is Leo's & Forrest is Xander's. What changes?

HMMMM that’s kinda funny, like she’d see Forrest’s ringlets and assume that he has Xander’s curls, and perhaps Siegbert has straighter hair as a baby so she assumes he’s Leo’s.

I think it depends a LOT on whether they’re parenting as a trio or if Leo and Xander each only act as parent to “their” respective son. In the former case, I imagine Siegbert is still born first and treated as Xander’s heir, but in the latter case…. would Forrest be heir?

In general I think having Camilla as Forrest’s mom would be kind of interesting: on one hand he’s got Leo, who basically runs on shame, and on the other hand he’s got Camilla, who I don’t think is capable of feeling shame.

And as with all kids in fates, I do think their personalities would be quite different if they were actually raised properly and not in the deeprealms. I also think Leo would have been a much better dad if he’d gotten to watch Forrest grow slowly, rather than being like 20 and extremely insecure but suddenly with a son who’s almost his age, and looks just like him but fem.

I think Xander would be less…. yikes about Forrest’s gender presentation. He wouldn’t really understand it, and might sometimes say some slightly unkind things, but he doesn’t actively shame him like Leo does. Sort of confused-but-accepting. So in many ways, I think Forrest would be a bit less insecure, a bit more bold and outspoken. At the same time, though, I think the pressure of being crown prince would weigh on him a lot—and he might actually try to suppress who he is, if he were convinced that was the best for Nohr. I know a lot of Siegbert’s stress and inferiority came from growing up in the deeprealms and not actually knowing his father, so it was very unintentional on Xander’s part, but I do think a non-deeprealms Forrest believed to be Xander’s son would still have a fair bit of anxiety.

Siegbert parented by Leo would likely be a lot less insecure and anxious than he is in the game, without the weight of his future crown. He’d definitely have some sort of complex, because I don’t think any son of Leo could escape that. I see him as being a bit snarkier. I imagine he’s still quite studious, but it’s no longer out of such an intense desire to be perfect. He might even neglect his studies sometimes, as a form of rebellion against Leo (whom I imagine would be quite strict about that).

Anyway, this is definitely a fun concept :) there are so many ways it could go. Probably the healthiest outcome for the kids would be to have all 3 of them act as parents, and not focus too much on who is whose son—treat them both as in line for the throne. Especially because I could see either one of them doubting their parentage and worrying whether Xander is actually their father and whether they should actually be his heir. It would also mean they get a balance of Camilla’s affection, Leo being a bit of a prick, and Xander Doing His Best. And especially if it is fully 3 way poly (as opposed to just a V hinging on Camilla), what would be the point of separating their parenting if Leo and Xander are also together?

[godeaterazathoth]

So I re-download the game

All new and improved Hedd Wyn

So I changed her look to better reflect her new personality.

Her new personality is very peppy and confident. Maybe too confident. I have an idea of her almost always talking in like Shakespearean English cuz she thinks it’s cool and makes her seem mysterious. She is really into collecting knowledge on swordplay and combat. I think she would primarily use a lance to fight cuz she wants practice, she really loves her horse Torrent and dog Blaidd.

A lot of her personality is based on her past.

Background

The place Hedd Wyn was born lost its name long ago just like her. She was born into a normal family as 1/3 of a group of triplets. Her parents and two sisters lived perfectly average lives, they lived on a small amount of land and owned a red horse named red mane.

Until they were 8. When a revolt led to a revolutionary army to set up in the region. The noble who oversaw the region decided to cut off the rebels at the food source, he destroyed all their food and blocked anything from entering the area. Quickly famine set in and the rebellion fell apart, but even then no food was given. Red Mane died first and the family ate what was left of him. Their parents died quickly after leaving her and her siblings to hunt rats. Soon there were no more rats and the sisters survived by drinking each others blood. But within 2 weeks both younger sisters were dead. It was the middle of winter and the girl couldn’t bury her sisters. She had to stay up and guard them from scavengers, until she decided she had to leave or die. She ate her own sisters and buried what was left. Then ran away.

The girl was picked up by a band of mercenaries, she did anything to earn her keep until she was 10 and began to fight on the battlefield. Even as a child she was a competent worrier, killing many men. At 12 the drunken leader attempted to assault her and she killed him accidentally. When the others found her they attacked her badly wounding her, but she managed to escape. She was found by the bookstore owner who nursed her back to health. And then raised her as his own.

At first She was cold and detached not even having a name and only following orders. In order to open her world view Akatsuki taught her to read and gave her freedom to read whatever she wanted. Inspired by what she found, she built a new personality. Gallant and boastful speaking in an old fashioned style. She gave herself the name Hedd Wyn.

She found Rio on the woods and made her first real decision in taking him in. She thought it was honourable sticking up for him and looking after him, but now she wishes he would get a job and move out.

Hedd Wyn enjoys taking part in tournaments against over swordsman, she is known in the city for her strength and prideful attitude, that strangers mistakenly assume to be arrogance. She is very popular amongst women for her chivalrous character.

Prologue

She was only interested in the festival because of the show of strength tournament, even if it was just arm wrestling, she won and on her way home with her winnings stumbled on the drunkerd scene. Except the scene was half way through, a girl has already stepped in, Leon and Chevalier were already there, Hedd Wyn just didn’t notice them (at all) she just wanted to play hero and got herself in way too deep.

Trivia

Blood type O

She is around 18 years old

Sometimes her scars ache

She sleeps in the barn with Torrent and Blaidd

She made her own clothes, made for practicality

She believes the loss of memory is a kind of death

She is experienced with most weapons (except fire arms)

Despite her big appetite she can’t taste food

Despite her hole persona being an act she doesn’t change anything about her opinions or beliefs just how she expresses them

She isn’t a fan of sweet things, she likes spicy food

If she doesn’t like something she just won’t do it

She sleep fights