#i identify as a scholar so i can never be wrong

[paranormalparasite]

IVY league universities going woke is directly associated with the NASA'S warning about extreme solar storms during solar maxima in 2023. No one can convince me otherwise.

[hongluboobs]

tumblr user hong lu boobs have you played any of the new canto yet im very interested in your thoughts

Yes I do!!! I don't want to make a big post on Some Of The Stuff til the whole canto is up (if you are aware of this account and some of my recent postings it may become aware of what i am talking about) but ohhghghgh. This shit Re Awakened the naive cyanism in me!! I thought it was gone. I thought I was over Hong Lu! I haven't even been doing my dailies and weeklies as of late that's how out of it i've been. but NOPE!! We are sooooo limback babey!!

(i apologize for yapping about hong lu right off the bat. its not that guy's turn yet. it's don's world and we are all just living it, but with the way don's character is structured my brain goes more towards a "wait and see" approach for her. I know it'll be awesome and i Am invested but like. this is hong lu boobs dot tumblr dot com. I'm sorry women)

I'll put some basic stuff above the cut and then some more spoiler-y stuff below.

HUGE fan of the presentation this canto. PJM continues to get crazier with this stuff every canto and this is no exception.

In the light of that previous bullet, I am fully expecting some meta fuckery here. They've pulled some cool stuff at the ends of cantos 5 and 6 but. this is the sinner about delusion/unreality! I Live In Fear of whatever pm is cooking.

The setting is also REALLY fun. whenever I saw a new battle bg i was cheering and clapping. they're all so fun and whimsical and there's so much potential for interesting things

I really like seeing how people dress in the north of the city! We've had so many new factions/branches of factions thrown at us so far and I love a lot of the outfits! Will this still hold true when I try to draw them and get upset at the level of detail after drawing standard formalwear on pm characters for so long? Maybe!

The CGs have been really clean so far? As an artist I get worried about this stuff sometimes because it's a lot of work to get done but all the ones I've seen so far are really nice :)

If you aren't reading passives and status effects this canto. do that. my brain might be a little too small atm to comprehend some of the gimmicks w the main enemy type but some of the wording in the enemies passives may be hinting at things. Also some of them are really funny

this Might be my favorite direction they've taken the OST? Honestly it's so hard to pick because this ost NEVER misses but I've been typing this whole thing to that one boss's theme (you know the one)

If you've played through the first part of the canto, feel free to click through the read more for some of my thoughts that delve more into spoiler territory

I am so intimidated anytime the screen goes black and I have to deal with various colored text and Scary Voiceover. I cannot say much on it aside from just how scared i get whenever it happens. I'm pretty bad at identifying voices (especially if i don't understand the language) but these lines just get. so interesting

Here they are all together for my convenience (and potentially yours :) )

I don't have a ton to say on it especially because anything I say can be proven wrong Very Quickly and I am not a don quixote scholar but I think the "Please, please! I don't want an adventure, stop! Please!" line from (who i assume to me) second kindred don is VERY interesting. much to think about regardless!

UPDATE: while I was writing this my buddy lu-is-not-ok (follow him. if you like what I do you'll like what he does.) sent me this image.

Yep, we've got identity stuff going on. Yellow seems to be Our Don Quixote (It's her text color, at least, but back then she'd be the bloodfiend second kindred, hence being able to obliterate that bear immediately, and acting less in line with the DQ we know and love) while red is... maybe the original don quixote? The original owner of rocinate at least,("Your running shoes look like they could fetch a nice price...") who seems obsessed with justice and fixers like ours. I haven't read the book so I don't feel like I can add a ton more to this aside from flat speculation but I am very interested in how this develops.

Ok now I want to talk about Hong Lu stuff. Let's ignore the elephant in the room for just a second :)

I'm a big fan of the exchange between Dante, Verg, and Hong Lu. THERE IS SO MUCH CONCERNING FORESHADOWING IN HERE!!!!! OH MY GOG. I can't handle it.

the specific wording of "the most lucid one" is SO interesting to me. fully expecting these cantos to be a True Combo. I was already anticipating it because they both have so much to do with rules and the boundary of reality and delusion but with the familial hierarchy theme present in bloodfiends its Definitely happening. And the light in Hong Lu's left eye going dimmer??? with the water theming being used??? Gloom/sinking themed distortion Please Please Please. you're nothing. Theres some water connections from the book irt the land of illusion (near the end bao-yu's enlightenment is seen as realizing that everything is akin to moonlight mirrored in the water- it ultimately doesn't matter and everything predestined to happen will occur regardless) and this water theming is present in Hong Lu as well (base ego) but it's really interesting to see it Like This.\

And now. there's probably some other stuff I can talk about but I wanna say things about The Elephant In The Room. If you follow my stuff and are caught up on this canto you know what I'm talking about.

I have been compiling a diagram with every mention of Hong Lu's family across all his dialogue. (which you can see here if interested, though it's now outdated for obvious reasons) We only really get vague mentions, the only direct family appearance is Jia Huan, who shows up to say one line and then fucks off.

I was not expecting to get stuff on Hong Lu This Early. They've been giving us mostly crumbs and I was NOT expecting to get hit by All This. I have been surviving on scraps and I just had the Hong Lu lore equivalent of a rotisserie chicken thrown to me. I'm kind of rusty on DOTRC because I haven't touched up on it in a while and as such I cannot give too many details but it's very interesting to see Xichun.

I'm going to check up on Xichun's characterization in the source later because there's so many characters in that book and she wasn't really one I had that close an eye on during my read. From what I remember, she's one of Bao-yu's cousins who lives in the garden with him, and eventually runs away to become a nun when the family starts falling into decline. (mirroring Bao-yu running away to become a monk for the same reasons.) I'm probably missing stuff I'll catch when I go out to reread the book, but based on how she's depicted here it gives me more of an idea about what themes of dotrc they're pushing for canto 8.

They're for sure emphasizing the familial abuse and how fucked up the jia family is. It almost reads like all of the siblings are in competition with each other (building "factions"). and Hong Lu has said his siblings have attempted to kill him before.

Hong Lu has been like this, which lines up with his book equivalent of Bao-yu, who is notorious for being childish/naive and not necessarily working within the pre established rules and conventions set up by his family. I'm curious how he's managed to survive this long with the jias a lot more willing to Kill Eachother.

"My most amicable sibling" fucks me up so much. what the hell is this family's deal man. I'm really curious about this line, because xichun is not a sibling but a cousin in the book. I'm curious what's gonna happen with Bao-chai and Dai-yu in Limbus because it's very challenging to adapt this story without those two. Dai-yu in Dotrc is one of the characters Bao-yu feels most comfortable being himself around. Generally, the female characters in DOTRC are better people than the male ones, and Bao-yu spends most of his time with the girls as a result. I'm curious how/if they'll adapt this because it's a pretty big thing in the book and they serve as an escape for Bao-yu from dealing with the nightmare that is people like his father. I feel if it was happening, they'd probably write Xichun a little kinder, but I don't know nearly enough to make any sort of call yet. Absolutely TERRIFIED (positive. this is a good thing) for what PM is cooking.

I'm gonna have to cut this off here because i have A Lot of thoughts but i also have many assignments to finish and have been typing this for way too long! Thank you for asking the question anon I hope you enjoyed reading some of my thoughts :) !!

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Amplification: Part Two

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.9k

Summary: A deadly spread of Anthrax is going around infecting and killing people. One of your own is affected that completely tears your world into two. How will you over come this?

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them. If you’ve seen the show, then it’s the same level of angst unless otherwise stated

x

The bookstore has been closed ever since Albert died, and Gayle's purchase happened right before it closed down. It would explain why only three people were hit, and when General Whitworth sent his men in for testing, they came back positive for Anthrax.

Albert's bookstore was the unsub's test run. He's gotta have a history with the place, so Penelope needs to come up with a list of present and past employees of the place, customers with grievances against the owner, and if any of them had a science background.

An attack of Anthrax isn't meant to kill three people inside a bookstore, it wants to be out in the open where it can feed and multiply in the way that it wants to. Just a small amount can wipe everyone out, and they'd never see it coming.

Another hour goes by and the six survivors of the attack are now down to four. This attack is killing people left and right and there is nothing you can do about it. The more they die off, the more family members demand answers for what's happening.

"It feels like the plague of Egypt," Linda says.

"Ten scourges created by God. Plague six was unhealable boils believed by biblical scholars to be caused by Anthrax."

"You never missed Sunday school, did you?"

"Actually, I've never been before. How is she doing?" Spencer asks about Abby.

"She's a fighter. She's held on this long because she's young and strong, but she's started to bleed into her lungs. We're running into another problem, though. When the next of kin have questions, what do we tell them about the cause of death?"

That is a question only Hotch and General Whitworth can answer. You can't tell anyone anything without punishment if it didn't come from Hotch. Instead of thinking things like that, you can try and think of the unsub and profile you have on him. It might help your team catch whoever is doing this.

Because the locations aren't symbolically significant, the attacks are personal. Understanding the significance of the locations will be the key to identifying the unsub.

This personal element strongly indicates a home-grown terrorist like the Amerithrax case. This is someone from the science or defense community. That's why the CIA is here. Hotch thinks they may know him. These home-grown terrorists are myopic zealots that believe that their work is of the greatest importance.

He may have preached about the threat of an attack on America. His coworkers would describe him as histrionic, paranoid, and secretive. He may have logged excess hours at work in the past weeks preparing for the attack. He even might have taken the full dosage of Anthrax vaccines over the recommended eighteen-month schedule and had yearly boosters.

This guy has his own workspace where he makes his product in privacy. He also has access to large, expensive, industrial-grade equipment at work. He's written about the threats of Anthrax attacks and published papers about it, yet he feels no one is listening, and that angers him. Now, he may have recently experienced some sort of professional humiliation like being demoted or fired. Now, that would have been his trigger, the moment he decided to go rogue.

He may have betrayed his loved ones to his cause and may be recently separated or divorced. This is somebody who knows every detail of the 2001 Anthrax attack and has talked about what that suspect did right or wrong. He's watching the news very closely to see how the country reacts, and it's not a good one.

The CIA dug deep into their records and found a video of a classified hearing with the Subcommittee on Defense and Homeland Security in January of 2002. Dr. Lawrence Nichols used to work at the institution and left in 2002. The video is sent to your team at the hospital, Derek's team in Maryland, and the main office with everyone else. You and Spencer go into an empty hospital room to watch the video. Dr. Nichols went to the Senator to ask for money for a project he wanted to do with dangerous chemicals. He went to talk to the Senator about the attack in 2001 and why he should have funding for his project.

"Five people died. If you ask me, we're lucky it was just five. We're lucky that whoever sent these letters used cheap porous envelopes and not a crop duster. America's enemies are capable of wiping out entire cities, and we are woefully unprepared."

"I'm looking at your proposal--"

"Yes, sir," Dr. Nichols cuts the Senator off. "Every household needs gas masks and a two-month supply of Cipro for each resident. Every major city needs hospitals with bio-safety decontamination capabilities."

"Regarding the budget you propose for this operation--"

"Anything short of fifty billion would be grossly negligent."

"Dr. Nichols, you've got to realize how unrealistic that is. We can't justify spending that kind of money on an attack that may not happen."

"You people are in denial!" Dr. Nichols exclaims.

"Doing this would incite fear and panic among the public."

"This country should be panicked! We should live in utter fear of being attacked! We live in a time of war and WMD proliferation. If you continue to be blind to our lack of preparedness, then Americans will die, and I will have no problem in pointing the blame at you!"

The committee didn't fund his project and rejected him because he was becoming unstable and fanatical, which is why they removed him from Fort Detrick and blacklisted him from other prominent positions. Even though he believes in preparedness, he felt like people weren't listening. He might have done this to prove a point.

He fits the profile of the unsub to a T. He had access to research on Anthrax, had the resources available to do something like this, lost a highly respected job, and got divorced in the process. The job he has now is through a company called Bio-Design Technology that doesn't deal with Anthrax but with the Flu. If he got demoted from working with such deadly diseases to working with the flu, he might be angry enough to use Anthrax as a weapon.

Either way, you need to bring him in.

Derek pulled you and Spencer from the hospital to go to his house while Emily and Rossi went to his work to see if he was there. Along with you, Spencer, and Derek, a hazmat team joined you so they can clear the inside of his house. You have to wait outside until they're done with their investigation.

"It's clear so far," one of the members says when he hears from one of his men inside.

"Alright, keep me posted." Derek turns to you and Spencer. "This guy just had people over for a charity event last month."

"We should probably take a look around anyway."

You three walk to the backside of the property when Spencer hisses in pain. You look over to see rose bushes with thorns sticking out of the stems. He must have cut himself on the thorns but isn't too concerned about it. For someone who messes with Anthrax, his backyard isn't too sketchy. There is a pool with a beautiful gazebo area and lots of blooming flowers. Derek's phone rings and he answers whoever it is.

"Yeah, Princess, what's up? ... Uh-huh. Yeah, we're here now. ... Sorry. what? The lab is clean? ... You're sure? ... All right." You watch Derek as he talks to Emily. You're not paying attention to Spencer who goes off on his own. He turns to you and Spencer to tell you what she said. "They got nothin'--Where's Reid?"

You look behind you to see Spencer run into the large shed in the backyard. You and Derek quickly follow after him, but he slams the glass door to keep you and Derek out of some kind of lab.

"Spencer!" you gasp.

"Morgan! Y/N! Get back!"

"What the hell are you doing? What's wrong?"

"Believe me, get back."

"Reid, open this door!"

"Spencer, open the damn door!" you yell and slam your hands on the glass.

"I'm sorry. You can't come in here."

"No, open the door," you whimper. The only reason he would be trapped inside there and refuses to let anyone inside is that this is the place where Dr. Nichols created his Anthrax poison. "Spencer, no, open the door."

"I'm sorry," he sighs.

"Come on," Derek says and puts his hands on your shoulders.

"No!" you gasp. "I can't leave him. I'm not leaving him. Call Hotch and get people out here now! I'm not going anywhere!"

Derek has no choice but to listen to you. He needs people out here now if Spencer has any hope of making it out of this alive. Derek leaves and gets Hotch on the phone, and you look at your boyfriend with tears in your eyes.

"Open this door, Spencer, or I'm gonna break it."

"Don't, Y/N. There is white powder in here, and the air is blasting."

You let out a heartbreaking sob and put your hands to your mouth to quiet them. Spencer's heart breaks at the sight of you crying for him. Hotch and the biohazard team arrive quicker than you thought they would, and Derek tells Hotch where you are.

"Y/N, get out of there."

"I can't leave him," you cry. "I'm not leaving him alone!"

"Please don't cry."

"Spencer, I've seen what this does to people. There has not been one survivor and you're infected now. If the cure is not in there, then you're gonna..." You can't even say it. "I can't lose you. I love you so much."

You place your hand flat on the glass and Spencer puts his hand over yours.

"You need to get out of here."

"I can't leave you!"

"I will be fine."

He doesn't believe what he's telling you because he doesn't know if he's going to make it out of here alive or not. He's lying to protect your feelings but he forgets that you can tell when someone is lying. Your chest feels heavy and your whole body is shaking from fear. Your legs can't hold you up any longer so you fall to the ground in a heap of tears. Someone from the biohazard team comes in and places their hand on your shoulder.

"Ma'am, you need to leave."

"Y/N, listen to them."

"Spencer," you gasp.

The man practically forces you out of the shed to where Hotch and Derek are. Derek catches you when your legs wobble.

"I need to be in there, please. I can't leave him alone. He's scared, Hotch," you cry.

"Y/N, you need to calm down."

"I can't," you hiccup. "I can't lose him."

Hotch needs you to calm down so he calls Spencer and places him on speakerphone so you can hear his voice.

"Hotch, I really messed up this time," Spencer sighs.

"Reid, we need to get you out and to the hospital."

"No, I'm staying right here."

The tears won't stop rolling down your cheeks.

"No, Spencer, please leave. You need medical attention," you cry. "Please!"

"Y/N, I'm already exposed. It's not gonna do me any good to stop working on the case."

"He's already infected," General Whitworth says. "If Nichols created the strain, he may have also created the cure."

"Look, Dr. Nichols is in here but he's dead. Someone must have bashed something in his head. My best chance is to stay here, see if there's a cure, and try to figure out who killed Dr. Nichols."

"Hotch, say something to him!"

"He's right. His best chance is inside. We're gonna get a suit and mask into you right away."

"Don't bother. it's not gonna do me any good. I'm already infected."

This thing killed the first three victims within hours.

The thought of losing Spencer is something you can't even fathom. The thought hurts too much, and your chest starts closing up.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[ecosystem-administrator]

Third-rate

Timeline: Post-6.0, no MSQ spoilers

Y'shtola approaches Mayhem with a discovery about the nature of their Echo ability.

After they’d shooed away their unpleasant conversational partner, Mayhem turned to find Y’shtola approaching them, an oddly intent look on her face.

“Something wrong?” they asked as she got close. “You look like you’re trying to figure out where a weird smell is coming from.”

“…Not entirely inaccurate,” she admitted dryly. “Tell me, why did you send that man away?”

“Him?” Mayhem looked to where the scholar had turned to huff his way back to the Studium, intentions thwarted. “He said he wanted to learn about my thesis, but I could tell he was just looking for something to undermine my reputation with.”

“How did you know?” Y’shtola’s tone of voice was still odd, and her ears had also taken an incisive turn.

They shrugged, a little confused. “I could tell he was off as soon as he walked up, so I danced around until he let a little too much slip. Are you worried I’ll fall prey to the machinations of academia?”

“No.” Y’shtola tilted her head, considering. “Interesting. You could tell that something was wrong, but not what. Likewise, you can’t divine the full intent of my line of questioning unless you ask me, or cajole me into telling you some other way.”

“What’s this about, Shtola?” She often took her time getting to the point while she tested a theory, but they were getting a little tired of being part of this particular experiment.

“I apologize.” She smiled at them conciliatingly. “I had a purpose in testing you, I promise. …You’re aware that many of those who have the Echo gain…particularly specific manifestations of it. Sensitivity to others’ emotions, visions of the future as well as the past, the ability to handle objects and learn about their previous holders…the known manifestations are numerous.” At Mayhem’s nod, she continued, “I’ve always found it a little strange that, despite your extensive experience with it, you never seem to have developed a particular specialty.”

“…But now you think you’ve uncovered mine,” Mayhem realized. “Something to do with how I knew that fellow was bad news?”

“Exactly.” Y’shtola tapped the corner of her eye with a fingertip. “Over time and with more practice using it, my aethersight has been growing ever more sensitive. In addition to corporeal aether, I’ve begun to be able to identify the…ripples in ambient aether that people leave in the world. Like an aura around their body. I realized a little while ago that I could tell when Krile’s was being impacted by someone else’s emotions. …And just now, I watched the pattern of your aura change in response to that man’s presence, as well, before he so much as spoke a word to you.”

“Huh.” Mayhem blinked at her. “For a while now I’ve been able to tell almost on sight whether someone was being sincere or not. I just thought I was good at reading people. So that’s been the Echo, all along, has it?” They turned the thought over in their mind for a moment. “…Seems a little bit cheap, for a special power. Any chance I could trade it in for, I dunno, dreams of other worlds or something?”

She just gave them another playful smile. “These abilities are known to advance or expand in capability over time, but rarely change their base nature. Still, I thought you ought to be informed. At the very least, you can rest assured that your ability to sense someone’s sincerity is reasonably accurate, if vague on specifics.”

[dailycharacteroption]

Retrograde Revision 3: Archivist

(art by suomar on DeviantArt)

Another case of bards in name only, today we’re looking at an archetype that is essentially a librarian.

Described as being “bards that eschew the dramatic aspects of their training”, that need not necessarily be the case, as archivists could easily have gained their arcane/occult magic by studying the body of work under their care rather than having gone to any bardic college.

Either way, they are still associated with academia, and may have a personal history as a scholar first.

The badass librarian has been a thing in recent decades, so whether they are archivists or scientists doing field work, these brilliant minds can prove how effective their stores of knowledge are both on and off the battlefield.

This archetype feels like a first pass at a non-loremaster knowledge-based character, the sort of thing that would evolve later into the overall vibe of the investigator class, so it’s interesting to see where it got it’s start.

Rather than inspire bravery in others, archivists instead focus on providing running commentary and guidance on how to fight the creatures they and their allies are currently facing. While they have to identify them first, doing so gives their allies an offensive and defensive buff against them as they point out vulnerabilities and limitations in the subject’s attack and defense.

Whether it be supernatural boredom or the sheer crushing weight of their focus on minutiae, these archivists can wax technical on a subject to daze or confuse those under the effects of one of their “fascinating” lectures (how fascinating they actually are may vary.” Later on, they can even affect whole crowds this way.

Predating the skald ability of the same name, these archivists know so much that they are true lore masters, able to recall incredible amounts of information on a topic a few times per day.

Additionally, their magical lore makes them better suited to identifying magic items, disabling magical traps, and recognizing magical runes in time to better brace themselves against their effects.

Furthermore, they also demonstrate proficiency with all skills, which only grows over time.

More powerful archivists are so knowledgeable that they can predict a possible outcome and occasionally take the most average result on any sort of activity, including when attacking and resisting, which can be useful in an emergency.

The archivist, with it’s eventual ability to treat every single skill as a class skill, as well as taking 10 often and 20 a few times per day at a low level, has the potential to be the arguably best skill monkey in the game. The base combat performance providing both an offensive and defensive buff against identified foes is also very nice, though the ability to daze or confuse foes that are already fascinated is of dubious unsability, since most situations in which you’d fascinate, you’re trying to avoid combat, and it’s not clear how confusion and daze work in regards to keeping people fascinated when they might start punching each other. Beyond that, however, I recommend spell and feat choices that help you have an at least partial answer to any situation you come across. Damage spells with a variety of types, utility spells, debuffs, buffs, you name it.

The nature of their ability to debuff foes they fascinate might give some the assumption that they are boring or dry lecturers, but that doesn’t have to be the case. It could be that their passionate diatribes are simply bewildering to others, and you can certainly portray them as being passionate about many a subject.

A mystic prank goes wrong when a bookish student cast a forbidden spell to get back at his classmates, and now they are all stuck inside a demiplane centered around the most popular tabletop board game in the school. Experienced adventurers are needed to enter the game’s world, master the rules, and rescue the students.

Palanz Whisperwind has never seen any of the monsters he’s spent his whole life studying. In need of a change of pace, he hires a party of adventurers to escort him on this field study. Putting up with his incessant droning and condescending attitude may drive the party up the wall, though.

The secret name of Falrax, the demon lord of night, is hidden in the secret archives of the Library of Thoumous Rang. Getting to the repository, however, will prove difficult, as the gynosphinx archivist Written Conundrum is loath to allow the ignorant and uninitiated to touch her tomes, even if the fate of the world is on the line.

[juliatulia]

I didn't pay attention to the Housman bit on Autobiography, so I would love to hear your thoughts on that :)

Sorry for the late reply but here it is.

The * followed by parenthesis are my thoughts, the rest is directly from Morrisseys Autobiography.

Excerpt from Autobiography:

and, wrongly, unnecessarily, this child weeps, full of the foolish

embarrassment that his father has clearly marked out. New air is discovered

in the words of A. E. Housman (1859–1936), scholar-poet, vulnerable and

complex. On the day of his twelfth birthday his mother dropped dead,

sealing a private future of suffering for Housman, who was said to be a

complete mystery even to those who knew him. *(Whom are we talking about??) With no interest in

applause or public recognition, Housman published three volumes of

poetry, each one of great successful caress, each a world in itself, forcing

Housman into the highest literary ranks. A stern custodian of art and life, he

shunned the world and he lived a solitary existence of monastic pain,

unconnected to others. *(Again, whom?) The unresolved heart worked against him in life, but

it connected him to the world of poetry, where he allowed (in)complete

strangers under his skin. *(One know others by how one knows oneself) In younger years he had suffered from the

unrequited love of Moses Jackson, the pain of which was so severe that it

doomed Housman for the rest of time. *(Swap the names and it could be Steven Patrick talking about himself) All of his work would be governed

by this loss, as if life could only ever offer one chance of happiness (and

perhaps, for every shade and persuasion, it does?):

*(So, Morrissey introduces Housman as someone who has unhappiness thrust upon him (but he could also have been a moody melancholic from birth, who knows?). Life delt him bad cards, but used the unhappiness to create art that others found comforting. He clearly identifies with him. And the last part of the paragraph….. Words fail me. )

When the bells justle in the tower

The hollow night amid,

Then on my tongue the taste is sour

Of all I ever did

Housman suffered throughout his life, and therefore (and not surprisingly)

his life became an unyielding attempt not to cooperate. The black horizon

never shifted, and his emotional lot never mellowed.

*(Moses Jackson was very aware of Housmans feelings for him. If I remeber correctly when Moses married his wife, they didnt tell Alfred Edward until after the event (They also left the country). Jackson knew it would crush Housman. )

He would not stay for me; and who can wonder?

He would not stay for me to stand and gaze.

I shook his hand and tore my heart in sunder

and went with half my life about my ways.

At his Wildean lowest, Oscar’s personal sadness had never slumped to such

leaden fatigue; Housman suffered and accepted, death always close in his

mind’s eye – but not regrettably so.

I did not lose my heart in summer’s even,

When roses to the moonrise burst apart:

When plumes were under heel and lead was flying,

In blood and smoke and flame I lost my heart.

I lost it to a soldier and a foeman,

A chap that did not kill me, but he tried;

That took the sabre straight and took it striking

And laughed and kissed his hand to me and died.

The published poetry makes the personal torture just barely acceptable. The

pain done to Housman allowed him to rise above the mediocre and to find

the words that most of us need help in order to say. The price paid by

Housman was a life alone; the righteous rhymer enduring each year unloved

and unable to love:

Shake hands, we shall never be friends, all’s over:

I only vex you the more I try.

All’s wrong that ever I’ve done and said,

And nought to help it in this dull head:

Shake hands, here’s luck, goodbye.

But if you come to a road where danger

Or guilt or shame’s to share,

Be good to the lad that loves you true

And the soul that was born to die for you

And whistle and I’ll be there.

*(The poem is so true to the Morrissey folio. A strong friendship/connection/relationship is no longer what it once was and distance is imminent between the object and the subject. But should anything happen, "danger or guilt or shame to share" you know I will be there for you. )

It’s easy for me to imagine Housman sitting in a favorite chair by a barely

flickering gas fire, the brain grinding long and hard, wanting to explain

things in his own way, monumental loneliness on top of him, but with no

one to tell. The written word is an attempt at completeness when there is no

one impatiently awaiting you in a dimly lit bedroom – awaiting your tales

of the day, as the healing hands of someone who knew turn to you and touch

you, and you lose yourself so completely in another that you are

momentarily delivered from yourself. Whispering across the pillow comes a

kind voice that might tell you how to get out of certain difficulties, from

someone who might mercifully detach you from your complications. When

there is no matching of lives, and we live on a strict diet of the self, the

most intimate bond can be with the words that we write:

*(Here author and subject almost merge into one. Drawing the line where subject and author meets is almost impossible. I become you and you become me. When there is no one to whom one can bestow all ones affection on, the page becomes the active listener. )

Oh often have I washed and dressed

And what’s to show for all my pain?

Let me lie abed and rest:

Ten thousand times I’ve done my best

And all’s to do again.

I ask myself if there is an irresponsible aspect in relaying thoughts of pain

as inspiration, and I wonder whether Housman actually infected the

sensitives further, and pulled them back into additional darkness. Surely it

is true that everything in the imagination seems worse than it actually is –

especially when one is alone and horizontal (in bed, as in the coffin).

Housman was always alone – thinking himself to death, with no matronly

wife to signal to the watching world that Alfred Edward was now quite

alright – for isn’t this at least partly the aim of scoring a partner: to trumpet

the mental all-clear to a world where how things seem is far more important

than how things are? Now snugly in eternity, Housman still occupies my

mind. His best moments were in Art, and not in the cut and thrust of human

relationships. Yet he said more about human relationships than those who

managed to feast on them. You see, you can’t have it both ways.

*(We have to wonder why Morrissey included this in the book at all. When most authors writes their autobiography, they chronologically write about what happened to them, who they saw, or write about details about their life in descriptive detail (which in my opinion is quite dull and very little engaging as a reader). But Morrissey deviates from this enormously. He includes pieces of what made him the way he is(!). Why would he include long pieces about Melanie Safka, Buffy Sainte-Marie or W. H. Auden? Not interesting in itself to read about someone some person read a long time ago, but all these pieces gives us hints of who Steven Patrick Morrissey is.

The interesting part about including A. E Housman is how much Morrissey writes about his life, not just the poetry. I think this is the key to understanding the excerpt above. He both admire and recognise how life and art blend together and how they affect each other.

About Housmans later life, Moses Jackson died before him. Jackson suffered from cancer I think and knew he was going to die. Housman later wrote in a letter to a friend where he said: "I could not leave him behind in a world where anything might happen to him". He was a wealthy man from his academic work and became a patron of Jacksons son. He paid for his education when he didn't have to, but probably felt an obligation.

Why do we have such a lengthy part in the book about an unhappy man who lived all his life inlove with a man he fell in love with in his youth???

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ You tell me 🤓🤓

)

[regaliasonata]

If you're still doing head cannons, do you have any for Trip from time force?

Got a lot here, also Xybrian lore with him that I thought of👀

-Xybrians have slight alliances towards Rafkonians because of their mind like properties however most of the population like Trip can't fully control their mental abilities like Zayto or Aiyon.

-Trip was bullied when he first came to Earth and when he joined the Time Force organization. Considering that the future on Earth still has racism(Mutants I'm sorry) the idea of a Xybrian isn't taken extremely like mutants but still something "different" is seen weirdly within their eyes.

-Katie was Trip's first friend, Lucas kinda treated the dude like an inconvenience and because of Trip's visions he used that as an advantage to get around tasks and assignments. Though this was put down once he actually got used to being around the green ranger.

-Unknowingly to most Xybrians is that similar the concept of humans possibly getting psychic abilities upon unlocking the rest of their brain the species in that planet has a thing related to willpower and when that's unlocked they can do crazy psionic abilities. However because of the capabilities they are rather dangerous and kept a secret from the population, Trip is on the precipice of unlocking this.

-Trip is very touch starved and will take hugs as a main source of negotiation.

-Xybrians relationships don't have any standards really when it comes to sexuality. Trip himself identifies as bi but mostly into dudes, Katie and a field day explaining stuff about this on Earth(plus 31st Century so everyone is just chill tbh😎)

-Trip's first relationship was one with Alex Drake, the authoritarian aspect really made him feel safe and two did share some...quality time with each other however this was mainly a ruse because Alex looked through records and found out Trip's species knew some stuff about time travel and he wanted to get some secrets out of Trip, this actually led to Alex getting a better position in the organization.

-Alex and Trip had this little phase before the Time Force team came together, the former red ranger pretty much ignores him or any acknowledgment of the events. Of course Trip doesn't hate him but knowing about everything adds salt to the wound.

-Because of his culture not having secrets kept between everyone Trip tends to vent out every now and then. This also made him prone to people(Like Alex) taking advantage of his knowledge, the one time Trip said no to a person he shut down and hit well away in the clock tower. Katie had to be the one to help him realize there's nothing wrong in declining things, he considers her a sister.

-Trip have 4 siblings at home however he never contacts them. This is because two are scholars too busy trying to explore the universe while the other two constantly work with spatial architecture, plus with practices on their planet it's not uncommon for family to drift apart as they age.

-he loves throwing Eric and Wes off with future facts but also uses it as leverage to scare them whenever an argument starts.

-R&B is Trip's favorite musical genre. He's a little shy but get him a drink and he'll become the best dancer on the team. (Katie: I don't know what it means but Eric says you can "throw it back" really good at the club. Trip: ......kill me.)

-his hair literally cannot be dyed by most material,  only way of getting rid of the color is either by burning or having contact with star that has another color.

-you can literally lift him up like a little kitten.

-During the Wild Force crossover all the WF rangers were on edge when they saw the gem on Trip's forehead thinking he was some org. Didn't help that he bodied half the team in a fight when they were ready to kill him on spot.

-Trip is a very sloppy kisser, most guys tend to find it adorable though.

-one thing to note would be how Trip earns the most money out of the other rangers. He owns an apartment back in Millennium City but doesn't enjoy the idea of being alone in his thoughts so he stays either at Katie or Lucas's place.

-On a small scale the little xybrian has managed to develop his visions at will from time to time. This has become quite the powerful asset for fighting.

-Jen continues to train Trip closely because he really wants to hone the craft of combat and aside from Eric the green ranger has become the 2nd strongest member on their team.

-the true nature of Xybrian abilities is to "shift" the bounds of mind and reality. Only one being is able to fully due this and it's Trip, basically controlled what he wants his visions to be and also allowing for that image to phase through time itself, basically altering the future. Theoretically this has made Trip one of the most powerful green rangers and also a known target of the Time Force Organization as they have contingency for if he goes rogue. The team obviously disagrees with those guidelines and will LITERALLY murder the entire organization if they try anything.

-Trip has two moms and despite the old belief of family on Xybria he keeps good contact with them. They use these phone like devices that resemble that of a blooming flower to communicate from long distance, fun fact would be that they had this long before humans developed the telegraph⚘️📞☎️(concept reminds me of the skull phones from halloweentown if anyone remembers those movies).

-Trip enjoys wearing big clothes that layer around him or in some instances clothing that has rips. Xybrian fashion can be described as a traditional future type of style with emphasis on "showing your true self" coming into mix(

-Trip loves learning about history, Xybria has history spanning over millions of years. Though due a dark age half of it has been lost and this has made the green ranger eager to solve mysteries overall in life(I have many lore ideas for them as well as a lot for Raflon if anyone is interested in a post I'd be glad to make one.)

-He hates pickles and the very thought of being around one makes Trip want to burn the clock tower down.

-for any comic fans(@augment-techs might like this one👀), during Shattered Grid Drakkon found out about the shifting abilities that Xybrians may have access to and he ordered that they would be hunted in fears of some collective hivemind changing the future to defeat him(Coinless Trip would have a scar on his forehead from the gem being ripped out)

-one thing the green ranger enjoys is going through history and having lunch with his favorite historical figures.

-during Lucas's race fiasco Dash decided to go after Trip to toy with the blue ranger. Flirting, trying to get hands and what not, Trip didn't mind the attention but Lucas was ready to commit a crime during the event.

-Trip has a huge crush on Wes and the two got together, though because of Alex the green ranger has to keep reminding himself that Wes isn't Alex, Eric may or may not joined the relationship and the two red rangers actually find the little xybrian to be amazing.

-Alien movies are seen as offensive in his eyes.

-When he sleeps the little gem on his head lights up, he can also look through people's dreams from time to time. Eric dreams about Wes in an apron...like a lot.

-hia favorite food is apple pie.

-Grid energy allows for a lot of Trip's abilities become super-powered than usual. One time when a dude was hassling him in a store he ended up blasting him into a wall made a crater...not really in his nature to be excessively violent, though some rangers like Zhane asked for him with their own mind powers.

-Each of the time force rangers have a phone plan with the xybrian flower communicators thanks to Trip, one of his mom's is quiet yet resourceful worker for one of the aristocrats on his homeworld so she has everyone on the family plan.

-Constellations are a great sign for the green ranger as his grandmother used to take him to see light shows in neighboring galaxies. Whenever a lantern festival happens or a shooting star passes on Earth Trip takes all the time to watch the phenomenon.

-Trip loves his birthday but on Xybria due to the secrets rule the idea of a day being limited to one's self is looked down upon so he doesn't get to celebrate it often. Katie never forgets and she organized a party with Wes and Eric for the dude.

-Trip can force-choke someone with his mind but he doesn't like to hurt people.

-his grandmother was killed by his abilities during a family ceremony to meditate together. The pressure from this really made Trip freak out and the pillars of their house fell on the woman's body, Jen's the only person that he's ever told about this (effectively making this the only secret he really keeps)

-when really charged up his hair becomes a bit bluer which Wes finds rather hot for some reason. Psionics🟢✨️

-the zord cockpit concept gave Trip the idea to create a space within his mind for focus. When he really needs a place to escape to he'll sneak away to something peaceful, this also allowed him to practice lucid dreaming, anything to become attuned with the mind.

-his favorite animal is a dragon, Xybria had a myriad of them in the past but after the forgotten dark age they went extinct for some mysterious reason. One megazord formation he created with the Q-Rex zord involves a dragon like fusion.

-Funny enough but when Trip gets mad at a person he will bite them if he gets the opportunity. Wes seems to enjoy this and uses it to his advantage.

-He's really good at sewing and can even mend together clothing made of stardust like thread he buys from space. One of the main material used to make traditional xybrian outfits.

-Trip became a clothing model for a short amount of time and actually wore some small designs by Trent Fernandez. After Cosmic Fury and eventually into SPD with aliens becoming more prominent on earth he gave the dude some of his homeworld's design references but Trent can only take small influences as 1.) They're from the 31st Century and 2.) He'd like to make his own designs instead.

-Andros, Zhane, Karone, Aiyon, Zayto and Trip together call themselves the Hex-Squad(Hexad and mind squad)

[ausetkmt]

On Feb. 15, 2023, a judge informed Payton Gendron – a white 19-year-old who killed 10 Black people at a Buffalo Tops market in 2022 – that “You will never see the light of day as a free man ever again.”

The week before, Patrick Crusius – a white 24-year-old who gunned down 23 people at an El Paso Walmart in 2019 – received 90 consecutive life sentences.

The threat of domestic terrorism remains high in the United States – especially the danger posed by white power extremists, many of whom believe white people are being “replaced” by people of color.

I am a scholar of political violence and extremism and wrote about these beliefs in a 2021 book, “It Can Happen Here: White Power and the Rising Threat of Genocide in the US.” I think it’s important to understand the lessons that can be learned from events like the Buffalo and El Paso mass shootings.

After decades of research on numerous attacks that have left scores dead, we have learned that extremists are almost always part of a pack, not lone wolves. But the myth of the lone wolf shooter remains tenacious, reappearing in media coverage after almost every mass shooting or act of far-right extremist violence. Because this myth misdirects people from the actual causes of extremist violence, it impedes society’s ability to prevent attacks. Buffalo mass shooter Payton Gendron was sentenced to life in prison in February 2023. Scott Olson/Getty Images

The lone wolf extremist myth is dangerous

FBI Director Christopher Wray said in August 2022 that the nation’s top threat comes from far-right extremist “lone actors” – who, he explained, work alone, instead of “as part of a large group.”

Wray is wrong, and the myth of the lone wolf extremist – the mistaken idea that violent extremists largely act alone – continues to directly inform research, law enforcement and the popular imagination.

I think that Wray’s focus on extremism is much needed and long overdue. However, his line of thinking is dangerous and misleading. By focusing on individuals or small groups, it overlooks broader networks and long-term dangers and so can impede efforts to combat far-right extremist violence – which Wray has singled out as the country’s most lethal domestic threat.

Not a new trend

Far-right extremists may physically carry out an attack alone or as part of a small group of people, but they are almost always networked and identify with larger groups and causes.

This was true long before the social media age. Take Timothy McVeigh. He is often depicted as the archetypal lone wolf madman who blew up the Oklahoma City Federal Building in 1995.

In fact, McVeigh was part of a pack. He had accomplices and was connected across the far-right extremist landscape.

The same is true of Gendron and Crusius, who were also characterized in media coverage as lone wolves.

“He talked about how he didn’t like school because he didn’t have friends. He would say he was lonely,” a classmate of Gendron said shortly after Gendron carried out the mass shooting.

Both were active on far-right extremist social media platforms and posted manifestos before their attacks. Gendron’s manifesto discusses how he was radicalized on the dark web and inspired to attack after watching videos of Brenton Tarrant’s 2019 massacre of 51 people at two mosques in Christchurch, New Zealand.

Almost a quarter of Gendron’s manifesto is directly taken from Tarrant’s, which was titled “The Great Replacement.” This fear of white replacement, centered around perceived white demographic decline, was also a motive for Crusius. His manifesto pays homage to Tarrant, before explaining his attack was “a response to the Hispanic invasion of Texas.”

The lone wolf myth also suggests that extremists are abnormal deviants with anti-social personalities.

After Gendron’s rampage, for example, New York Attorney General Letitia James called him a “sick, demented individual.” Crusius, in turn, was described by the White House and news articles as “evil,” “psychotic” and an “anti-social loner.”

The vast majority of far-right extremists are, in fact, otherwise ordinary men and women. They live in rural areas, suburbs and cities. They are students and working professionals. And they believe their extremist cause is justified. This point was illustrated by the spectrum of participants in the Jan. 6, 2021, Capitol insurrection. People hug at a memorial outside the Walmart in El Paso, Texas, where a shooter killed 23 people in 2019. Mark Ralston/AFP via Getty Images

Tracing the lone wolf mythology

How did the lone-wolf metaphor come to misinform the public’s view of extremists, and why is it so tenacious?

Part of the answer is linked to white supremacist Louis Beam, who wrote the essay “Leaderless Resistance” in 1983. In it, he called for far-right extremists to act individually or in small groups that couldn’t be traced up a chain of command. According to his lawyer, McVeigh was one of those influenced by Beam’s call.

After Beam formulated this idea, both far-right extremists and law enforcement increasingly used the lone wolf term. In 1998, the FBI even mounted an “Operation Lone Wolf” to investigate a West Coast white supremacist cell.

The 9/11 terrorist attacks further turned U.S. attention to Islamic militant “lone wolves.” A decade later, the term became mainstream.

And so it was not a surprise when, after the Buffalo shooting, New York State Senator James Sanders said, “Although this is probably a lone-wolf incident, this is not the first mass shooting we have seen, and sadly it will not be the last.”

The tenacity of the lone wolf myth has several sources. It’s convenient – evocative and powerful enough to draw and keep people’s attention.

By using this term, which individualizes extremism, law enforcement officials may also depoliticize their work. Instead of focusing on movements like white nationalism that have sympathizers in the various levels of government, from sheriffs to senators, they focus on individuals.

The lone wolf extremist myth diverts from what should be the focus of deterrence efforts: understanding how far-right extremists network, organize and, as the Jan. 6 insurrection showed, build coalitions across diverse groups, especially through the use of social media.

Such understanding provides a basis for developing long-term strategies to prevent extremists like Gendron and Crusius from carrying out more violent attacks.

[txttletale]

nah you missed the point with the tankie/liberal comparison, which is that it's applied to just as uselessly broad a collection of people as "tankie", and used as an empty term of abuse. There are people who self-identify as liberals, but even THOSE people are pretty inconsistent in what their actual political beliefs are, and the people who use it as an insult are even more expansive in how they apply it.

Like if "you guys" is too vague, I have yet to hear you, personally, say anything about liberals that has much to do with liberals in the "real" sense. it's something people say when they want to make flip remarks about of vaguely defined enemies, and so the set of people called liberals by someone is, like, 80% of everyone and doesn't assemble into any sort of coherent group or ideology.

I don't even think this is really that bad, per se? but it's embarrassing to do it and then complain about the use of "tankie". if the only distinction you want to draw here is "more people self-identify as liberal than as tankie" that's fine, I guess, but it's kind of beside the point.

i understand where you're coming from i guess--but i disagree, in that i think there are a few core elements of liberalism that apply to everything that calls itself and gets called liberalism, because liberalism is like not just a label but a whole school of political thought that has been developed and put into practice globally. liberals:

believe that the economy should be structured in the form of a capitalist free market with private property rights

believe in the individual and their rights as the basic unit of society

believe in individual freedoms as a fundamental good

this is true of any kind of person you can call a liberal, from the pinkest of social democrats to the most vicious neoliberal. they disagree on a lot of other stuff, but they agree on those things! there's, y'know, a real identifiable historical common ground to liberalism (locke, smith, rousseau). it's a real ideology! when i call someone a liberal, i might be wrong--but it's a pretty clear-cut claim that they can deny

calling someone a 'tankie' on the other hand, just signals that they're part of the extremely disparate group of 'guys i dont like'. you are simultaneously implying that they're a staunch khmer rouge supporter, a social conservative russian nationalist, an advocate for sendero luminoso doing Even More Murders, a hoxhaist, a hardline maoist, still carrying the flag for lysenko's agricultural policy, a scholar of xi jinping thought, etc--without doing any of the rhetorical work of actually calling them any of those things. it's intellectually dishonest. and also, and i can't stress this enough, it sounds like a playground insult. it's deeply unserious. a fairer comparison would be 'anarkiddie', which i've never said because i'm an adult and i think anyone who says it is silly.

[saskiavalentineapologist]

sidenote, tangent: i love my arabic studies minor tbh. it started really weird but i love where i ended up because of it.

the english program at my university was like "take two years of a foreign language" and i was like "ok whats the coolest i can take" and chose arabic

absolutely fell in love with the language and culture. im extremely rusty on the language, never really got super good with it (our professor told us it takes 8 ish years to become fluent, i took it for 2 and haven't kept up with it. this makes sense), but when i realized i liked it enough to make it my minor, i started taking a Ton of history classes which turned out to be my SHIT

yeah man idk turns out having a professor originally from that area who's a studied historian and renowned in his field gives a perspective to the conflict and culture that you wouldn't get elsewhere. so anyway my mans [redacted] taught like 4 lecture classes and i took them all and now im full to the brim on history knowledge about the arab world, iran, with a little sprinkling in of nationalism in that area that was its own class.

...this makes it very satisfying when family members try to talk to me about the arab world and current geopolitics happening over there.

someone: how could you think that??? what about [blatantly factually incorrect and misinformed opinion]??? me: oh see that's a common misconception, the historical causes that led to that misconception are rooted in- (ten minute tangent that makes them regret coming at me over this)

you cannot come to me misinformed and racist about a topic i know more about. its not going to end well.

like. im gonna be so honest with you all for a second. if you want to meaningfully contribute and understand discussion about the arab world? there's a lot of things that led to this point. i could recommend a thousand starting points, and i think it's hard to identify a Most Important one. but if i had to: world war one and the events that led to how the arab world got carved up afterwards.

if you cannot tell me the importance of the hussein-mcmahon correspondence, the balfour declaration, and ESPECIALLY the sykes-picot agreement (!!!!!) individually and how they relate to each other and how they affected the world powers in that area going forward, you are lacking a large understanding of the historical context that shaped this area.

don't get me wrong: there's so much more in regards to culture and religion and the schisms thereof, and how contact and exchanging ideas affected things all leading up to that point and how those much older things affected things after that but tbh?? today's current political climate in the arab world? if you cannot learn about, interpret, and convey back to someone the importance of those events and what happened afterwards? you are missing a huge piece of what has happened.

its not the end all be all, but its a good place to start. you can go forwards or backwards from there, but thats a good snapshot of how things played out going forward.

disclaimer: i dont know everything and dont claim to, but this is my minor and i do have a fascination with the history of the area.

this professor said something in all of his classes that has stuck with me to this day, and i will leave you with it:

"In order to get a C in this class, you will give me the bare bones facts. Dates and events, what happened there. If you want a B, you will have to give me context. Why did these events happen? What led up to them happening? If you want an A, you will give me your opinion. We are not training parrots. We are training scholars. If you cannot formulate an opinion one way or another on what you've learned, you do not deserve an A in this class."

[int3rnall]

I find it ugly how grossly uneducated I am as of recently. Why am I doing nothing meaningful? Why am I not outstanding and what exactly am I doing wrong? Why am I not spectacular and special? Why am I not a prodigy at something? Where did all the prior remarkable schemes went? Whose grave did they plunder into?

I can't stay stagnant. I can't recycle my days and I cannot become ordinary. Mediocrity is an insult. I'd rather be amusingly terrible at something than being average at it. Now how exactly do we solve this? I suggest we start identifying the root of the problem. My routine.

Not only does it lack variety, there are also little to none tangible benefits that I could harvest from this immovable tree. I need to recognize what skills will significantly hoist me up the societal ladder of wealth and diminish habits that will reap the very essence of success from me.

Starting from TikTok. Don't get me wrong, the app is great for education as well. It offers real time news that isn't tainted by government propoganda influence or is particularly biased to any agenda, but on the flip side, it is also astonishingly distracting. One could argue your will is stolen from you with consent. You're betting your time over potential benefits (videos with useful information that will retain).

This is a highly risky gamble and will result in a disproportionate victory on one side, which is the forgettable videos littering the for you page. Tell me, do you remember what you watched yesterday on the app? What about 5 hours ago? No? 15 minutes ago? Impossible right. It's not meant for long term retention unless the video is somewhat of an essay or targets a specific audience (particularly scholars or those who are interested in the given topic). TikTok is meant for short, forgettable, highly entertaining junk videos that can be equated to shots of vodka the longer you scroll. Drugs, if I'm being straight forward. It's useless. The cons outweigh the pros, yet the dopamine levels in our brain refuses to uncurl it's grasp on this god forsaken app.

Not only that, but I also do nothing productive. I would pull out my yoga mat and lay it outside, only to ignore it as I watch a series of YouTube videos about foreigners visiting Korea as they ride whirring boats and stuff their mouths with fresh seafood from Jeju island.

I don't understand why I'm like this. I need to be more than this. I'm destined to be incredible. I will have some level of fame and wealth and I will inevitably attain it one way or another. I will scrub my hands with thorns if it meant being successful. If it meant being the smartest person in the room. The coolest, most calculating yet warm. I want to become something more than human, as absurd as it sounds. I've always had this dillema.

The desire to become more than I am, yet it is just a pipe dream. All I see is a wasteland. Chaos, sitting in the womb of hollow ruination.

I starkly recall one of Albert Camus's quote: 'Man is the only creature who refuses to be what he is'

As well as this quote from my second mother, Sylvia Plath: 'I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in my life. And I am horribly limited.'

I used to curl into a ball as I miserably weep over this jarring, emptying realization. I had so much to do, so many people to become and lives to live. I wanted to be God. I wanted to kill myself and transcend. I wanted to be everywhere yet nowhere. Become everyone yet no one. Be known by everyone yet understood by none. A living cocoon swelled with bitter contradictions.

This is me, the butterfly trapped within the suffocating cocoon. The walls enveloping my soul are slowly crumbling away.

Any moment now.

Once it hatches, it will be ugly.

Mark my words

It will be revolting

[god-whispers]

apr 10

a wizard, a witch, a drag queen and a child stand by

"and for this reason God will send them strong delusion, that they should believe the lie, that they all may be condemned who did not believe the truth but had pleasure in unrighteousness" 2 thes 2:11-12

are you waiting on a punch line, as if the title were meant to relay a joke or make a point.  if there is a joke to be told, it is a horrible one and the joke is on us.  so, what's wrong with this picture.  the world would have you believe nothing is wrong with this picture.  it is a righteous defense of freedom to pursue one's own truths.  belief can never be substituted for truth.  truth stands on it's own and is a defense of itself.

one may believe they can step off a tall building and float softly to the ground below; that is until it suddenly comes crashing beneath them.  one may believe they can swim endlessly through the water; that is until their lungs cry out for the air they were created to breath.  one may believe they can determine their own gender; that is until coming to the realization that both actual male and female are required to procreate; otherwise, extinction.

allow me to finish out the rest of this headline i read recently.   a wizard, a witch, a drag queen and a child stand by as canadian legislator launches drag show protection bill.   canadian politician has proposed a law allowing ontario’s attorney general to criminalize “offensive remarks” within 100 meters of a drag show, including so-called drag queen story hours for children.

"any homophobic, transphobic act of intimidation, threat, offensive threats, offensive remarks, protest, disturbance, and distribution of hate propaganda” would be prohibited by law if the bill passes, sponsor kristyn wong-tam said tuesday in a press conference."

the world has gone mad in it's arrogance and foolishness.  "professing to be wise, they became fools, and changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like corruptible man." rom 1:22-23  romans 1 goes on to show the depths of delusion and confusion one can sink into when one's own truths are decided.

one might ask, whatever happened to freedom of speech?  every kind of reviling thought and speech is now tolerated - except for Godly speech.  yes, in england they have even arrested a woman quietly praying "to herself and God," simply for doing it in the vicinity of a forbidden area.  and just where is that forbidden area - usually any place pray is needed most; in the most ungodly places of all.

i read an article recently by dr, michael brown, a well known and renowned scholar.  it referenced another article by someone who was asked about whether it was acceptable to use a person's chosen pronouns to describe a truth they adhered to.

the question was asked: "but what if the need arose, especially with someone you met for the first time?  wouldn’t it be christian to meet that person where they are and then help them find true wholeness from the inside out?"

the writer of the article stated, "my use of transgendered pronouns was not a mistake; it was sin."  she lists 8 reasons, including:

1.  to use these pronouns is violation of the 9th commandment (not to bear false witness against your neighbor, and referring to them as something they are not is false witness); 2.  it’s an encouragement for them to violate the 10th commandment (not to covet, here, meaning coveting an identity that is not theirs); 3.  it violates the order of creation and the calling on both male and female to bear God’s image; 4.  it discourages the ongoing sanctification of trans-identified christians; 5.  it cheapens the reality of redemption through the cross; 6.  it fails to love our neighbor as ourself; 7.  it fails to offer genuine christian hospitality, replacing it instead with “liberal communitarianism, identity politics, and 'human flourishing';

to use PGP’s has always been sinful and remains so even though times have changed.  at the end of the day, reality is reality and truth is truth, and to collaborate with someone’s deep, heartfelt confusion is to hurt them more than to help them.

and so, we are left with:  a wizard, a witch, a drag queen and a child stand by... standing side by side.  what is one left to say in such circumstances?  how are they to respond.  respond assuredly with love, but true love doesn't acquiesce in deception, even self deception which seemingly fulfills one's emotions.  "and you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." john 8:32  isn't freedom what we are all seeking if the truth be known?  isn't it release from the hurt and despair driving us to such madness?  anger and retaliation will not ease you're burdened soul.

to continue living in a falsified truth will only lead one to a rude awakening.  "what do you mean, sleeper?  arise, call on your God; perhaps your God will consider us, so that we may not perish." jonah 1:6  by all means, arise and call in God while He still is within hearing distance.  "but your iniquities have separated you from your God; and your sins have hidden His face from you, so that He will not hear." isa 59:2  it is only our tears of repentance that shall restore His hearing.  "a broken and a contrite heart — these, o God, You will not despise." psa 51:17

take your broken, hurting heart - take all your confusion and anger - take it all to the altar and lay it there along with your tears of repentance and faith in His redemptive blood.  take it there.  leave it there.  BE FREE. in Jesus name!

[alatismeni-theitsa]

fooor the love of bougatsa please respect the language of the most ancient hymns of the Greek gods you worship and really take in that the word "Hellenic" is actually the Greek word for "Greek". Realize that Greeks use it and have been using it generations ago, and that you are probably - unintentionally - misusing it today.

You don't say "I am a Norse" if you are a "Norse pagan", or a "Norse polytheist". You don't say "my religion is Slavism" when you are taking the worship of ancient Slavic gods. So please make sure you are using the Greek word correctly and don't say that you are just "a Hellenic"? Ok so what, why am I talking about grammar all of a sudden?

The main reason I'm emphasizing this is: do you know what the "Hellenic community"/"Hellenism"/"Hellenismos" is literally used for? The Greek people. The Greek community. The Greek culture. That's how Greeks self-identify and characterize their culture consistently since the creation of our state, the Hellenic Republic.

I am not saying don't use the word "Hellenic". I am saying use it appropriately! But please don't use "Hellenismos"/"Hellenism" as a substitute for "Hellenic polytheism".

The ancient religion with the name "Hellenismos" is not the same as a generic worship of some Greek gods today. It referred to a specific ancient belief system that I haven't seen one Hellenic polytheist online use. (Maybe they exist but they are very rare)

It baffles and upsets many Greeks when they learn about how foreign polytheists are using the terms. The younger ones have a milder averse reaction but if I say it to my Greek aunt or parents? Ooof... It's going to blow their mind and not in a good way. Because for them/us the fact that's they miss you are very important words for "Greek" and "Greekness" while loving the ancient Greek culture and religion shows disrespect. It's disrespectful to the people who are on average the most exposed to the myths and Hellenic antiquity since birth, and safekeep the heritage and cultural riches of our country.

I know that "Hellenismos"* has been used wrong for some years now but can the foreign community slowly unlearn it? It's not a traditional Anglophone name, or so blended with the English language that such use is normalized in Anglophone societies. Its modern use is very recent and it started by misinformed individuals (who may or may not had viewed Greek culture in a fetishizing way) back when things were not very culturally sensitive, and we were viewed by the international community as not being capable enough to care for our Parthenon marbles.

*or it's English version, "Hellenism"

If many Greek scholars hadn't left for Central Europe after the fall of Constantinople, you wouldn't have so much material or interest about our antiquity today. We were never cut from the myths and the gods, even if it's not our ethnic religion, and we safekept many things in the face of danger (no exaggeration here). Apparently I need to state the obvious fact that the Greek people of all eras were an organic part of the process that lead you to learn about these gods.

Please respect our traditional identification terms as a nation. It's not much to ask.

* I already have some posts on this matter and I can link them for you if you ask, but that's the gist of it. As you understand I'm not going to hunt down anyone with a pitchfork. I am just taking the issue out there one more time.

[brown-little-robin]

Okay I have not been able to get over @lurking-latinist​ and @lovesodeepandwideandwell​ calling me the “little guy mutual”, so here’s some... *drum roll*... gender thoughts!

I was in a really conservative church growing up. And by really conservative, I mean really patriarchal. Women, according to the church, can only be fulfilled by being super feminine and submissive and raising a family with as many children as possible. That was literally what was preached. And as a girl who didn’t want a family, I felt like something was deeply wrong with either me or the church or probably both.

I wanted to be feminine, but not in the way the church defined femininity. Not if it meant giving up what I really was passionate about and good at and just having babies forever. I don’t want babies. I don’t think that’s wrong of me.

Simultaneously, I was really into stories. And what characters did I identify with? Not the girls. Never the girls. It was always the young boys. The dark boys. The young teenagers. The lithe, almost feminine creatures. Robin Hood, the fox from the animated Disney film. Sasuke from Naruto. (full disclosure, okay?? shut up.) Frodo Baggins. Sam Gamgee. Nightcrawler of the X-Men. Ariel from the Tempest. Tim Drake from Batman comics/fanon. Bart Allen. Thad Thawne.

It’s this kind of lithe boy that I almost always dream I am, too. I’m rarely myself in my dreams. Usually I’m a teen-boy-deuteragonist type.

Consuming media was my outlet for things that the church didn’t think were feminine. Like not wanting a husband. Not liking babies and small children. (I don’t dislike them, to be clear.) Like being mentally ill. Like wanting to be a scholar, a writer, and an artist full-time. Like wanting to have a supporting role in life—like those boy characters did in their stories—but NOT one that required me to mother a family. Things that are important parts of me, but which I could not express out loud in that place. Not as a girl. Not as a woman.

I was lucky that my family didn’t hold with the strict gender roles and storytelling rules that the church I grew up in held. I had a family who encouraged me to explore things that were not typically feminine. But I still needed that outlet of identifying with boy characters! I needed it to survive in that church, as a placeholder for my own passionate desires. I wanted the role they had, not their gender/body. But if I hadn’t been given the freedom to recognize that I could want that role and identify with those characters while still being a God-honoring woman, I might have decided I was actually a boy. Or that something was deeply, fundamentally wrong with me. One of the two.

I used to love “little guys” in a desperate way. Now I love them in a freer way. I don’t know if I’d be able to identify with a female character in a similar role, but I’m happy with being one.

Anyway. Little guy mutual. Yes.

[moiraineswife]

Jasnah and Wit - Presentation Meta

Part 1 of the great saga of Witsnah “WELL ACTUALLY” metas I plan on doing bc y’all have just pushed me That Far. 

Well hello there. I’m GRUMPY. And what I do when I’m grumpy is I channel it into a little thing called spite meta. That’s what this is. It’s me angrily yelling for several thousand words about why this thing is a GOOD thing, actually. 

Today’s subject, the much controversial post Rhythm of War canon pairing that is: Wit/Jasnah. 

So let’s (angrily) explore why this is actually a positive thing for both characters, on a nuanced, meta, character analysis level. Because that’s the only level that I have. 

I admit, I was sceptical and uncertain. But when I actually sat and thought about this for a hot second...It started making a lot of sense to me. And then I thought about it for, like, a hot minute, and it made a LOT of sense to me. And now I’ve thought about it for a hot month, so come. Step into my thoughts, and I will explain my perspective on this all…

Firstly we’re going to talk about clothes. Yes, clothes. Clothes and  what they symbolise for this pair, together and individually. 

He was immaculate, as always, with his perfectly styled hair and sharp black suit. For all his talk of frivolity, he knew exactly how to present himself. It was something they’d bonded over. - RoW, 64

Wit and Jasnah have bonded over the idea of presentation and the effects it can create. Both of them have used this idea to great effect multiple times in the series. Wit displays himself as a more appropriate form of an Alethi highprince at war - a crisp, tailored, military suit in a colour that makes him instantly and easily identifiable in a crowd. It’s part of his subtle mockery of those around him - that the King’s Wit is a better presented highprince than the REAL highprinces. It also makes him recognisable, and it makes him seem professional and able to move easily in high society. 

Equally, we’ve seen him take the guise of a poor beggar so as to sneak into Kholinar and go unnoticed and dismissed when he sneaks into the palace to recover Design in Oathbringer. 

Jasnah, meanwhile, gives a memorable and impactful speech to Shallan at the beginning of Words of Radiance about the illusion of perception. About how by presenting herself as a princess, looking the way others expect, she is able to effectively use her authority. And would be able to similarly do so if she simply convinced people she was a princess, by manipulating their perception of her.

Both Jasnah and Wit understand this idea - of presenting yourself, not necessarily in the way you want to look, but in the way you want others to look at you. Creating for them the thing you want them to see, which enables you to better be that thing. 

It also runs deeper than that. They’re not just people who like to dress well. They understand that this has a power to it. They understand the effect it will have over others. And it’s this deeper thing that I believe they’ve bonded over. 

Because they don’t simply appear put together in their clothes; they appear put together in their everything. Wit and Jasnah are people who are consistently calm and composed regardless of the situation. They do it in very different ways. Jasnah  with calculating stoicism and intellectual calm. Wit with indifferent frivolity and nonchalant acceptance of what’s happening around him. 

The core effect is the same. When the walls are crumbling down, the armies are sweeping in, and everything’s on fucking fire, Wit and Jasnah are two people you expect to be able to look to for direction and a bit of sanity amidst the chaos. 

They’ve both cultivated personalities and personas that revolve around appearing and seeming in control and unperturbed whatever is happening. It’s like their whole Thing. 

So the presentation is not only about clothes and make up, it’s about who they are deep down as people. The fact that they’re always the strong ones. Always the ones in control. Always the ones who aren’t panicking despite the fact that everything’s on fucking fire. 

They’re  people that others EXPECT to behave a certain way. There’s a predictability to them. A dependability. In Wit’s case, it’s that you can rely on him to be esoteric, confusing, and unpredictable, but still. 

There’s a pressure in that. There’s a pressure in always being THAT put together. In always being THAT on top of things. In always being THAT person who can never break down screaming when things go wrong because that’s not who they are and not what people expect. They have to be more than that. They have to be BETTER than that. 

They’re also people that other characters tend to other/deify. Shallan remarks several times about Jasnah being inhuman/beyond ordinary people, and even goes so far as to compare her to the divine, despite her being a heretic. 

Wit, meanwhile, gets asked if he’s a Herald, has that odd air of always knowing things that he shouldn’t, and being in places he shouldn’t at the right times. 

They’re both ‘positively’ outcast. And I don’t mean that in an overly posh English way and being positively outcast, darling. What I mean is that, instead of being shunted outside of the circle of normality, they’re both placed on pedestals above it. Which is a different sort of outcast, but comes with its own package of problems. 

And this brings us to: vulnerability. Because they’ve bonded over this presentation thing, but they’ve ALSO bonded over the fact that they’ve found someone they don’t have to do that around all the time. Someone they can let their guard down with and just be themselves. Someone they don’t have to present and perform for. Someone they can just be HUMAN with. 

So we’re going to look more closely at the clothing aspect of this. Because there’s symbolism here, and it deeply interests me. With a focus on Jasnah, because Wit’s a mystery by design, and Jasnah’s got some more intentional stuff going on here I feel, re narrative symbolism. 

So from the moment we’re introduced to her, Jasnah always looks immaculate. She always looks perfectly put together. Shallan remarks multiple times on her havah, on her make up, on the intricate and perfectly done braids of her hair. Which is a little bit gay on Shallan’s part (which is valid) but it’s also significant, symbolically. 

I talked already about Jasnah’s idea of ‘power is an illusion of perception’, but I feel it’s worth coming back to. Both because of how much it shapes Shallan, but also how much it shapes Jasnah, and informs what we know about her. 

Jasnah is ALWAYS put together. She is ALWAYS perfectly made up, the absolute ideal of the perfect Alethi princess. Even in scenes of distress or ‘downtime’ scenes - such as waiting for Shallan in the hospital, or visiting her after her betrayal, or the relatively more relaxed setting being on board the Wind’s Pleasure. The text makes a point to note that Jasnah is perfectly done up and presenting exactly as she wishes. 

The times we see slips in that are DEEPLY interesting to me. 

The first one I want to look at, briefly, is That Controversial Scene in the way of kings, where Jasnah uses Soulcasting to kill the men who attacked her and Shallan in the alley. 

Just prior to this we see her bathing, where Shallan still remarks on how composed Jasnah is. This is also part of her presentation. She’s entirely naked, but that illusion is still up. She’s still more in control than other people are fully clothed. 

What I find interesting is the specific note that Jasnah does not take the time to have her hair braided before she sets out with Shallan. It’s mentioned as being unbound a few times. 

Symbolically, I like this, because I feel like it speaks to a slight loosening of her usual control. There’s something about that scenario that sets Jasnah on edge. There’s something about it that makes her feel. 

Besides, men like those…” There was something in her voice, an edge Shallan had never heard before.

What was done to you? Shallan wondered with horror. And who did it?

Shallan is unnerved because Jasnah seems calm. But I get the sense, from this line, and from the intense repetition of how unnaturally composed Jasnah appears, that her composure is a front. And that if we had her perspective on this scene, it would look very different from how Shallan imagines it. 

There’s something driving her here. Something beyond the logic she explains to Shallan, about making the city safer, about the guards not doing anything, about how innocent women will not be able to protect themselves from this, and how she wanted those men gone. All of which I believe is true, but that line from Shallan, and the way in which Jasnah goes about this...It feels personal. There’s something else going on behind the scenes that we don’t know or understand.

Regardless. This is the first time we see Jasnah step out of the cultured, reserved, stoic scholar. She’s something other than an ideal Alethi princess and studious mentor in this scene. And the detail of her hair being unbound, contained, wild, for the first time since we’ve met her feels..Significant. It’s an important detail to linger on, I think. 

Which brings us to the next exception to Jasnah’s exceptional presentation rule: her murder! 

Even in the scene before where we see Jasnah, arguably, the most vulnerable that we’ve seen her, in the cabin when Shallan confronts her about her fear of the upcoming apocalypse. It’s only a moment. Only a moment of genuine emotion that Shallan manages to glimpse before the mask comes back. 

This was not the Jasnah that Shallan was accustomed to seeing. The confidence had been overwhelmed by exhaustion, the poise replaced by worry. Jasnah started to write something, but stopped after just a few words. She set down the pen, closing her eyes and massaging her temples. A few dizzy-looking spren, like jets of dust rising into the air, appeared around Jasnah’s head. Exhaustionspren.

Shallan pulled back, suddenly feeling as if she’d intruded upon an intimate moment. Jasnah with her defenses down. Shallan began to creep away, but a voice from the floor suddenly said, “Truth!”

Startled, Jasnah looked up, eyes finding Shallan—who, of course, blushed furiously.

Jasnah turned her eyes down toward Pattern on the floor, then reset her mask, sitting up with proper posture. “Yes, child?”

The text notes in this segment that Jasnah’s poise and presentation is a mask, but it also describes it as her ‘defenses’. This is her armour. It stops people looking too close. It stops them reading her emotion, her weaknesses. This is also one of very few times we see Jasnah attracting spren in the series. 

However, even in this scene, clearly exhausted, overworked, and overwhelmed, Jasnah remains perfectly put together. All of her armour, her immaculate  havah, her make-up, her braids, are all in place. Even in this moment. 

Which makes a stark contrast to the next scene we find her in where she’s dressed only in a “thin nightgown”, and is lying on the floor with a sword in her chest. The vulnerability of unexpected assassination. 

When next we see Jasnah, in the epilogue, is when she’s freshly spat out of Shadesmar after an apparently harrowing ordeal. 

Her clothing was ragged, her hair formed into a single utilitarian braid, her face lashed with burns. She’d once worn a fine dress, but that was tattered. She’d hemmed it at the knees and had sewn herself a glove out of something improvised. Curiously, she wore a kind of leather bandolier and a backpack. He doubted she’d had either one when her journey had begun.

Even in another plane, apparently being hounded and in fear of her life, she’s managed to acquire some appropriate clothing, a glove, and a damn bandolier. Because of course she has. Perception. Iconic. 

After that we don’t see her out of anything beyond her famous havah-braids-make up combo. Even when she’s with her family, and Navani remarks in her setting down the mask of the queen, she remains masked. There are still defences up. She never fully lets her family in on her plans, or her thoughts and fears. 

No, the next time we see her symbolically, and emotionally, vulnerable: is with Wit. Perhaps for the first time, fully, without ANY of her usual masks and pretences, and under her own steam and of her own volition. 

Locked away in a central room on the second level—sharing no walls with the outside, alone save for Wit’s company—she could finally let herself relax.

She DELIBERATELY picks a house with a second floor, and an interior  room with no outside walls, with multiple fabrial traps to warn of assassins or intruders. But she manages to relax in  Wit’s company. There’s a trust there. An understanding. A much needed vulnerability. 

Clothing wise, in this scene Jasnah is dressed only in a nightgown and a dressing gown, and is carefully noted to have her safehand uncovered. Jasnah isn’t Vorin, strictly speaking, but she’s still been raised her entire life in a society that views safehands as something inherently sexual/to be hidden. So much so that she takes the time and care to sew herself a safehand glove while in Shadesmar. So all of this is a fairly Big Deal. It’s a Big Deal for anyone. For Jasnah? More miraculous than Kaladin giggling. 

Jasnah Kholin is not vulnerable. Jasnah Kholin is never unguarded. Jasnah Kholin never willingly lets her guard down. Jasnah Kholin is absolutely as paranoid as Elhokar, if not more so. 

She’s made herself a BUNKER at this point. She’s in an interior room, surrounded by traps, there’s spheres sewn into her dressing gown, and she has a wholeass BOAT waiting for her in Shadesmar JUST IN CASE someone manages to get through: guards, an entire BUILDING, multiple rigged traps, then her, with her plate, her blade, her Soulcasting ability, and all of her wit and skill, to somehow manage to wound her badly enough that she has to retreat to Shadesmar. 

This woman does not do trust. She does not do vulnerability. To the point that it is absolutely 1000000% a fault. This IS Jasnah’s greatest flaw. Her isolation. Her mistrust. Her paranoia. 

Anyone that comes into her life she’s suspicious of. She blithely warns Shallan about Kabsal stating he’s only using her to get close to Jasnah to steal from her/kill her. 

We dismiss this, and look at it as brilliance/Jasnah knowing all, because she’s right. But it’s flawed brilliance. Because it’s the ‘broken clock’ fallacy, you know? If you suspect EVERYONE around you of being an assassin...Well, some of them will be. 

Jasnah’s paranoia is another meta, however. But the point here is that: Jasnah doesn’t do anything by halves. She has an ideal for how she wants to live her life and she COMMITS to it. And part of that is her presentation, and the perception she projects, to an unhealthy degree, even around trusted family. 

So the fact she has found someone she can relax all of her INCREDIBLY strict and overzealous masking and enforced personal presentation? Is both very significant in terms of her relationship with Wit, but also herSELF? 

Because Jasnah NEEDS this. She needs it like Kaladin needs therapy yesterday. 

Jasnah is a “strong independent woman” but if you double down on that idea, and follow it up with “Jasnah is a strong independent woman who doesn’t need a man/anyone” then you are absolutely 1000% missing the whole entire point of her character. 

All the Stormlight characters are deconstructions of classical fantasy tropes, to varying extents. 

Jasnah is the ‘strong independent woman’ trope except asking what if you ACTUALLY apply that to an actual human person? What would that do to them? How would that hurt them? And what it does is everything Jasnah is.

Which has been done so MASTERFULLY because we look at all of these flaws, and these objectively negative things that she does to cope with having this label slapped onto her, and we golf clap quietly in a corner and go ‘wow that’s so badass, that’s so cool, let’s totally romantacise all of these actually deeply worrying coping mechanisms and not look at them at all until Brandon smashes us in the face with them like a baseball bat with the nails of Jasnah’s trauma pounded into it’. 

Okay maybe that was SLIGHTLY dramatic. But my point is: Jasnah’s apparent omniscience can also be looked at as extreme paranoia and mistrust. 

Her independence and ability to ‘get shit done’ on her own, to the point she doesn’t tell another living soul about the LITERAL APOCALYPSE for more than HALF A DECADE is actually self-inflicted dangerous isolation. 

Her constantly being poised, and on her game, and never displaying any emotion is actually extreme repression, to the point her own MOTHER describes her as ‘having the empathy of a corpse’. 

Her consistent othering by all of the other characters, from her ward to her mother, deifying her, and othering her, and considering her immortal is actually putting her on a pedestal and cramming an INCREDIBLE amount of pressure to reach an impossible, unattainable, and inhuman level of perfection that becomes so normalised and commonplace that her return from the dead is just like ‘well yeah that’s just Jasnah’. 

And all of these things are INCREDIBLY unhealthy!!! They’re not something any real person should have to do just to exist. Especially not in the middle of an apocalypse. When her father was killed in front of her. And then her brother was murdered. And the apocalypse she tried to warn everyone about is happening. And she’s the most experienced Radiant. And she’s also suddenly a queen of her kingdom. Which has been taken over by the enemy btw. And they’re in the middle of a war. And people are dying. And she’s responsible for those people dying. But also some of her highprinces are treacherous bastards. And oh look here’s a couple of slightly mad Heralds she’s taken charge of and- OH MY GOD PLEASE LET HER NAP!? 

Again. Slight hyperbole on my end but I feel like I’m #Justified. The point is, her suddenly, after FOUR books, having a single person that she can confide in, and be vulnerable with, and admit she’s afraid, and uncertain, and doesn’t know what she’s doing, and isn’t sure she can actually do this, is not ~anti-feminist~ and it’s not “out of character” and it’s not damaging her ideal it’s actually deeply positive, and healthy, and a symptom of Character Growth. 

Jasnah’s is choosing Wit. With her eyes wide open. And she has some reservations about things, because she’s JASNAH, of course she does. But she listens to him. She confides in him. She lets him see HER. She lets him help HER. She admits that she needs that help. She actually says to him, out loud, with full human words, to his face, right in front of him, that she’s frightened. SHE ADMITS THIS!!! Jasnah’s having all this stealth background character development that y’all are sleeping on but I am personally deeply hype about. 

And it’s because Wit UNDERSTANDS her. And she understands him. And this is really the crux and core of this whole relationship for me, you know? This whole idea around them always being The Strong One. and finally FINALLY (for him, too) having someone that they don’t have to be strong for. Or regal. Or composed. Or poised. Or in control. Or even knowing what the fuck they’re doing. 

She can just...Be. She can ask questions. And show uncertainty. And admit to fear. And to doubt, of herself, of the other Radiants, of humanity in general. And have someone to look to, when everyone is ALWAYS looking at her. 

It’s the beginning of an actual support system. Because she needs this SO badly. Because she has her family but she also...Doesn’t have her family? She looks after them. She protects them. From assassins, and then from what was happening in the world/her role in it. Because there’s that line in Oathbringer that she has, about people loving her but still hurting her. 

Navani mentions that after she hit adolescence (and after her parents locked her in a dark room and let her scream herself hoarse because they called her mad, lol) she withdrew. And she no longer asked questions. And she no longer wanted a mother, or a support figure, or someone to take care of her. She rejected all notions of that. Because there was something broken there. That trust was gone. And Jasnah will set aside the crown, and the mask of the queen around her family, but she is only fully vulnerable, and fully HERSELF with Wit. 

And I cannot understate (i feel like I’m doing a Good Job of not understating this here people) how absolutely fucking ESSENTIAL that is. 

Jasnah is NOT a machine. She is not a divine being beyond trauma and pain. She is a human being who has suffered, and who has responses to this. 

Jasnah accepting Wit’s support and companionship is as big a step in processing and healing from her trauma as Kaladin accepting he can’t protect everyone and does not deserve to always carry that guilt. 

I don’t care if you don’t like the ship. I don’t care if you think it was rushed (there was...a year long time skip. Things did not remain in stasis. Things changed. This is an interesting narrative device bringing us into them and letting us extrapolate backwards). I don’t care if you hate the bones of Hoid and never want to see him on screen: I DON’T CARE. 

If you have any respect and regard for Jasnah as a character I need you to acknowledge that this relationship is a positive and healthy thing for her. I need you to see that it’s a step forwards. I need you to see that, from a purely narrative standpoint: this is a thing that should be celebrated for her. 

In terms of Wit, too, this is a good thing. I am not about one-sided relationships where only one person is getting something out of it. Even when that one person is the light of my life Jasnah Kholin who deserves all the things ever. 

For all his talk of frivolity, he knew exactly how to present himself. It was something they’d bonded over.

Coming back to this RoW quote let me make things as abundantly clear as possible re why I’ve bonded over this ship: They’re kindred spirits. They understand each other. In a way that no-one else has understood them for Jasnah possibly ever, for Wit in a very very very very very very very very very long time. 

They’re both brilliant. They’re both intellectually at the pinnacle of humanity. They both know that. They’re also both damaged. They both  cover up that damage with a carefully crafted presentation. Jasnah’s is regal composure and Wit’s flamboyant nonchalance, but it’s a mask in both cases. 

They understand each other. And they understand the need to have what they’ve found in one another: someone they don’t have to be that way around. Someone they can just be with. Someone who understands why they have to be that way with everyone else; but can give them the freedom to be themselves. 

Such parallel. Much power. Very choice. 

I was gonna talk about Other Stuff in this meta but lol. 4k words of clothes screaming later and I feel like maybe this should be part 1 of an ongoing saga. Ahem. 

The take away from this is: I totally understand why Brandon put these two characters together. For the amount of characters he has, he actually has relatively few romantic relationships. None of them are done on a whim, and they’re always healthy, mutual, and positive for both characters. They make sense, in short. 

And these two as a pairing makes sense. On more than a “”””business transaction””””” level of them wanting and getting information out of one another. It makes sense even if there was no Desolation, and no threat to the world, and they were two randomers who met in a tavern and connected. 

There’s a personal connection there. There’s an intimacy, and an understanding, and a sense of looking into another person’s eyes and saying ‘yes. You know. You feel it too’. They go through life in much the same way - standing out, never quite fitting, never finding anyone on their level that can relate to them or compete with them or challenge them. 

They have someone who can fulfil them. Someone who can actually meet and exceed their abilities for once. But equally someone who can ground them, and meet them at their lowest point, and allow and even encourage that vulnerability. 

TL;DR: this relationship is positive for both characters, and healthy, and important for both and this is a hill I WILL fucking die upon. Just watch me. 

More metas to follow. Bc I have more to say. Not as long as this one, in all likelihood, bc I feel like this is the Lynchpin argument for this pair. But still. More to say.

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

Did you see the comeback show of TXT with them acting out some K-Dramas? If this isn't proof of BigHit clearly using fanservice as bait to attract fans, I don't know what is. The clip of Yeonjun and Soobin is going viral and a lot of people are now saying they have to check out the group. Just for the sake of this clip. Smart but people need to realise that BigHit is like any other company. They do count on fanservice to make money and while BTS don't do this kind of heavy fanservice anymore, BigHit still uses their bonds to make money. In 2020 it was Jikook and now it seems like they're using Taekook more frequently. Maybe because Jimin vetoed his bond with Jungkook being used hence him saying openly at a concert that he hates fanservice? Just speculation. Their bonds are real and I'm sure Yeonjun and Soobin are close too. And I know it's pretty normal to use members' bonds to attract fans but this kind of fanservice that happened at the comeback show is too much. It works, as seen with people freaking out about it, but for me, it makes me take a big step away from that group. I'm glad BTS doesn't engages in that kind of fanservice anymore.

Here the clip if you haven't seen it.

twitter[.]com/translatingTXT/status/1523633602436603904

You see, I never really understood the outrage over fanservice, seen as this trick that works so well that manages to make the fans totally believe some things, but at some point, they realize they have been ''cheated'' and then end up complaining about the manufactured nature of K-Pop and the idols themselves. Maybe because my journey into this industry and specifically BTS started a bit differently, as I immediately looked for academic articles in order to understand various concepts and terminology. Although, that doesn't mean I take scholary work as the only legitimate source because a lot of the time I identified some bias there, especially in terms of explaining the manufactured nature of idols and how some scholars approach issues of gender and sexual identity, as a lot of the times nuance is missing. And the same can be said about information that travels in fan spaces in terms of what is fanservice, shipping, harmful or not, thoughts on Korean masculinity, idol persona, as most of the time I see (on twitter, tumblr, quora), the same recycled opinions posed as facts which travel across online spaces, and transform in the process in order to come out the other end as some kind of ''truth about K-Pop''. It's a bit sensationalist for my taste. But if I were to recommend an author, that would be Chuyun Oh, you can find her articles online. She is performer, a dance professor who uses gender and queer studies in her work on K-Pop.

But, going back to fanservice, I think it's important to understand that it's part of the K-Pop blueprint, it's not something that is somehow hidden in order to be discovered at some point by those who have suddenly seen the light after they spend some time in K-Pop spaces. Perhaps it's the lack of my emotional investment (although I had the same opinion when I was invested in BTS 2 years ago), but everything is a convention, a sort of mutual agreement and understanding between the fan and those who create and partake in fanservice. The fan is aware that what they see is there to contribute to their fantasy, whatever that is, always knowing in the back of their mind that it is a fantasy and nothing more. But my question is, what's wrong with fantasy? Of course I'm not undermining the fact that not everyone is (self) aware and not entirely capable on making a distinction between reality and fantasy and that the companies are taking advantage of that, but I don't think fanservice is this ultimate evil scheme and I definitely don't see it as a reason to stop liking a certain group when a fan becomes aware of the fanservice. If a practice like that is such a problem, then there's no point in liking K-Pop because as I said, it's one part of what makes K-Pop, K-Pop. And let's not forget that the Korean version of fanservice is quite a mild one, borrowed from J-Pop, where things are taken a bit further in terms of acts between members of a group.

And now, let me just address some of your thoughts and concerns. How is a reenactment of a drama in which Soobin and Yeonjun participated in, suddenly the proof that Hybe uses fanservice, as if this the first time it happened and becomes a deal breaker? Why wasn't a deal breaker when BTS did the exact type of fanservice in their Gayo episodes, when they had to do reenactments of k-drama scenes which also made them as the characters, get up close and personal? Why is it too much now? In my opinion, I think they used some old fanservice technique, more typical of third generation idols, or even second generation (although 2nd gen actually kissed on stage). To me, fanservice is something that I observe, that doesn't affect my experience as a fan because I think it's more interesting to look at the strategies they use and the different types of fanservice, instead of judging it because it leads to nowhere if I do that. I'm not taking the moral stand for or against it.

You also say that Hybe used jikook's bond to make money in 2020 and now they use taekook with the same purpose. How exactly? What is the demarcation line? Is there a specific period in which a shift has happened? Where and in terms of what? What they do on stage, how they are paired for content? Have you looked at all the jikook moments in 2020 and compared them to taekook moments in 2020 so you could draw the conclusion that jikook was used more? And vice versa with taekook? What's your data? I'm not saying this to mock you or anything, I'm asking genuine questions because when it comes to this, I have noticed that opinions on which bond/ship is more prominent during some periods is heavily influenced by some voices that end up being amplified on social media when they are debated in (dis)agreement. So, that wouldn't be an accurate or legitimate way of making a comparison. Also, there is the case of forgetting about past content and behavior, especially in terms of stage fanservice. I've seen too many complaints about the amount of fanservice during the concerts at end of 2021 and in 2022, as if people forgot how BTS always acts on stage and this is nothing new. There isn't an increase in fanservice or Hybe using ships to make the girls scream their lungs out. The only way such statements can be backed up is by taking all BTS content, plus whatever else there is out there (with proof, not just word of mouth), separate them in categories, make a quantitative and qualitive research and only then one can say which ship was used more for money and if there was a change in ships in the following year. And, to be more accurate, I would suggest going back to 2013 and start there. You'd end up writing a thesis.