#i hope you understand the layers of this
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”hey ua!” im listening
”bakubro/midobro” & ”bakubae” alright i glanced over
”shiggy on the beat tho like” im making side eye contact w you
”ground zero” full slow head turn and blank stare
#blabber ¡!#i hope you understand the layers of this#mha#bnha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#dont even get me started on the hanahaki disease fics.
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your drawings literally makes my day !! thank you so much <3 hope you have a great summer winter spring autumn - ❣️
Getting myself ready for the best Summerwinter Springautumn!
#ask#non mdzs#digital art#Drawing is usually my favorite part of my day (sometimes I admit to fighting for my life with my pen and pencil but only *sometimes*)#And while I will always make sure that I am doing this for my own joy - It also makes me happy to know that other people enjoy my art B*)#I hope I can keep making you laugh! Thank you so much for reading my comics!#Summerwinter SpringAutumn has been making *me* laugh for the last few days.#Understandably it is a catch all for whatever season I may be in-#But I am also obsessed with the idea that it is a genuine conglomerate of weather phenomena.#You must get dressed for literally all weather types.#The secret is probably just making sure everything is waterproof. And layers. Layers will get you through all seasons.#I tried drawing a little hawaiian shirt but it failed my 3 attempts rule. Naked Fer shall be. That's the real summer way baby!#Psst you. Reading these tags. I am challenging you to go draw your sona in an all season outfit. It's fun!#No more 'draw your OC in this sexy outfit.' It's time for 'how much style could they pull off while battling all weather at once.'
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PLEASE DO NOT TAG AS YOUR OWN OC OR PAIRING.
Nathan and Ruben share a bond more powerful than most; mutual understanding through past experiences no one should ever have to go through, and through past actions so horrible they cannot be spoken of. Their grief and the blood on their hands binds them to the STEM technology they created, which has alienated them from the rest of the world— but they give each other the comfort they have both longed for so desperately for years, and that is all they need. They are each other's counterpart; you cannot imagine one without the other, like two sides of the same coin. Through their pain, their grief, their desire, and their regret, they have become one.
anna akhmatova, the guest // bones; equinox // 'i won't become' by kim jakobsson // agustín gómez-arcos, the carnivorous lamb // by oxy // achilles come down; gang of youths // czeslaw milosz, from 'new and collected poems: 1931-2001' // 'extended ambience portrait from a resonant biostructure' and 'migraine tenfold times ten' by daniel vega // a little death; the neighbourhood // marina tsvetaeva, from 'poem of the end' // by drummnist // katie maria, winter // 'nocturne in black and gold the falling rocket' by james abbott mcneill whistler // micah nemerever, these violent delights // body language; we are fury // 'the penitent' by emil melmoth // chelsea dingman, from 'of those who can't afford to be gentle'
taglist (opt in/out)
@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart;
@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;
@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;
@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree
#tew#edit:nathan#nuclearocs#nuclearedits#so much shame in my body but still used my taglist but um let me know if you want to be excluded from oc/ship web weaves#just really wanted to share this one because i'm very proud of it and i want it on my blog. so. :]#recognition of the self through the other + wanting so desperately for the other to be deserving of a second chance#because if there is hope for them than there is hope for you etc etc and so on. that's the core of their dynamic i think#they understand each other on such a fundamental level that no one else comes close to because they are in so many ways the same#like how in in the first game leslie could sync up with ru/vik and all that? nathan would be a VERY good candidate for that as well#and it makes me insane!! and then the added layer of nathan being lead developer of mobius' new and improved STEM system#which makes him the same as ru/vik AGAIN but in like. the way that they're both men of [computer] science#and there's the fact they both have a dead sister. they both killed their parents. they were both mobius playthings for YEARS#and they've happily killed and tortured during all of it. they're angry they're out for revenge they're completely disconnected from#the normal human experience and they're working with what they have. and then after all of that is over then what is left?#their story focuses on them picking up all the pieces. everything that's still salvageable at least. and try to start over in a way#they cannot be forgiven for what they've done but they can move on from the past and do different in the future#there's still things left undone and left unsaid... in my canon at least. i know there's not gonna be any more games. it's fine#anyway they end up going to therapy and then they get better they're not a doomed couple they just like being dramatic#if you read all of this we can get married tomorrow if you'd like
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i’ve been writing star wars fic again bc this shit is a disease in case u can’t tell and i have become kind of obsessed with trying to delve into and rework sabé and anakin’s whole deal bc i am kind of obsessed with their limited interactions in queen’s hope but it left me hungry for More because i feel like there is potential for some real crazy shit under the surface. like they’re two different kinds of attack dog. they’re in a fight no one asked them to be in. and like sabé’s resentment towards anakin is for Obvious Reasons but if you really wanna get into anakin’s resentment towards sabé it’s kind of a feast…there is something so intimate about knowing someone well enough to become them. i think anakin is jealous of that. i think on some level he wants that. he and padmé love each other with such intensity that their identities kind of blur into each other but there are people who can Become Padmé and he is not one of them and i think I THINK that has the potential to drive him crazy if he thinks about it too long. and on that level i think sabé makes him lose his mind by existing
#also there’s gender layers to this if you subscribe to the transfem anakin school of thought#which i do so that’s part of it but that is like optional#and his broken brain primarily understanding relationships through the lense of hierarchy plays into this too i think!#but in ways i cannot concisely summarize. so i’ll let that cook a little more#will this become Actual Writing? who the fuck knows#anakin skywalker#sabé#queen’s hope#star wars#star wars prequels#keat.txt
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The Magnus Archives season 4 is an office comedy.
#sketch#the magnus archives#tma#comics#raposabranca#basira hussain#daisy tonner#jonathan sims#this is tumblr so I sincerely hope you understand the monster thing has layers. like an onion.#and if you personally dislike it you can ignore it and move on knowing I'm ridiculously queer myself
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i think. for spot being in love is the biggest and most unexpected thing in the world to him he didn't expect it he doesn't quite believe it's real he can't get over it. and for race it's another tuesday. and this means that race says I love you first because it's not hard for him and race says it more often because it's not hard for him and race says it more casually because it's not hard for him but spot says it and feels it from his head to his toes and there are not three words in the English language that mean more to him than "I love you" to say. or to hear.
#ive long held for no real reason that spot is a poet#and i think he'd (exclusively in private with race) be the type of cornball to recite his own poetry to his partner in a quiet moment#i think spot shows his love in so many ways. race can just say it but the words get stuck behind his teeth. so instead he does things#makes lunches offers to do the shopping cleans up without being asked brings things home that will make race smile#writes sappy poetry soaked in layers of metaphor that only race has any hope to understand (and only race will ever get to see)#i think race knows how much weight spot places on the phrase 'i love you' and loves getting to give it to him so often#and also appreciates how much it means that spot says it to him and only him.#spot loves his friends but is not casual with I love yous. he will do things for them he will care for them he will stick up for them#he has only ever said 'i love you' to race#also his sister in aus where she exists tho. he loves her soso much#anyway.#newsies#sprace#spot conlon#racetrack higgins#race higgins#also spot Never gets sick of hearing race say it. doesn't matter if it's the first time ever or the tenth time in ten minutes#he's going !! he loves me!! in his head every time
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headcanon : reputation.
one of the most important things about kira is despite her reputation throughout the realm of hiraeth as the feared chaos witch is the fact that she forges bonds with the people she meets and actually allows to get to know her. the infamy of her reputation is usually from knights of the order, or monarchs who she has intentionally crossed before, even archmages of mage towers because she threatens their very order and challenges their hierarchy of power as chaos incarnate.
it’s no secret that there are many enemies who would not think twice to take a dagger to her back, and she believes she has earned their ire. there are even more who have decided to fear her, not just because she is the only one who is able to wield the magic of primordial chaos ( a magic that is not labelled as feared because such a feat was never thought possible ) but because she has shown time and time again that she knows how to use it. a walking calamity, they’ve called her. a title that one can associate with the smirking figure on wanted posters. but if you asked the smallfolk and passersby, they’ll remember kira horikoshi more than the chaos witch, and many will have a kind word towards one of the most feared witches in their history.
the people of her hometown defend her name with every breath because the horikoshi siblings have protected anmatsuri for centuries. their land is at the very edge of the empire of hazakura, tasked with killing the abyssal beasts that threaten them during the time when the moon was banished from the sky. that was a tradition that kira and her brothers upheld even when their parents had passed, and they were so young still, taking up a responsibility of not only their family’s legacy, but the stability of their entire land. the people of anmatsuri remember her as the little girl who would join her parents and brothers to the town to help them with their tasks, and now as the witch who had a hand in making sure they had food and stability, performed shows of magic for children, who would defend her name even as the order brands her as a maleficar.
kira has done a lot for mages, especially young ones who’s powers could have harmed them and those around them because they lacked the means to learn from a proper magic institution or were taught to fear or even be ashamed of their innate gifts. there are many children who would tell stories about the witch in a purple robe who taught them spells when she passed through their town, who helped calm their nightmares by teaching them how to silence the voices that plagued them. the witch who banished the fear they harbored towards the lights in their hand by showing them how the stars glittered the same way. kira who would give them the very staff she carried in her hands as a gift, patting the top of their head and telling them to use it well.
regardless of how expensive the artifact was or how important, she gives it to them in hopes that they will learn magic as much as it can love them. she was lucky enough to have been born to a family that never once made her fear her magic, but she knows there are so many kids out there who do, and she genuinely wants to help them. how many children who’s education in the isles of lore ( the best circle of colleges in hiraeth ) was sponsored by her just so they could have a chance.
#i liked writing about this a lot#because i think it's a part of kira's personality#that i don't really get to talk about as much as i'd like to#she's such a pessimist in some regards but she has#so much hope towards people#more than she would like to admit... more than she probably realizes#she's convinced she let that part of her die a long time ago#but her demeanor and her actions says another thing entirely#you have to understand that her grey morality is always going#to be a thing of layers#her ambition and her cunning do not kill the more humane parts of her#she's so incredibly complex and the way she's perceived is so meticulous#GRRRRRR I COULD KEEP RAMBLING ABOUT THIS ACTUALLY#[ 𝐢𝐢. ] study › and all of my devotion turns violent.#[ 𝐢𝐢. ] headcanon › my twitching knife hand writes a tragedy in blood.
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you wait twelve tormenting years for something and then it's over in a moment.
#landslide.mp3#closure feels like a release and i guess i've never fully felt that before#in it's sadness it's quite beautiful really#and a lighter grief than all that i had carried up until that point#though there is still inevitably some grief shedding those layers of heavier grief is a freedom I'm grateful for#days and moments you thought may never arrive become poignant turning points moving forward#it's both a terrifying and wonderful feeling to look at the uncertain future without being dragged down and drowning in the past any longer#seeing the new growing hope of being able to rebuild and recreate and carve out something fresh#that maybe there's still chance for your life to change no matter how much you've lost to grief and illness and suffering#it's not just an ending to a chapter in my life but an entire volume with multiple losses culminating to a single moment of liberation#and ultimately of peace or as much as you can get in this life#well i suppose this is a small prayer to a new life that may treat me kinder than i have previously been#and that i may feel human again#and if not then i will still remember this moment for what it is and for finally making sense of that which had haunted me for so long#and maybe one day i'll understand why it had to be such a long journey#it will be like telling a story that i can no longer comprehend had happened to me as the distance grows alongside me only this time kindly#;
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re last answer: please don't stop, being very unhinged about these two pretty white boys is helping distract me from the sharks losing streak rn so bring it on
https://www.tumblr.com/bondedpairs/764566430180147200?source=share
(sideblog woes but there's the link for you) anyway in the vid they talk about going over to each other's houses to have dinner and things and while that is a delicious example of their codependence i love it bc through an rpf lens there is definitely some old man ******* going on. they can have the dilfs and each other.
(someone else mentioned kept boys which i could write an essay on but i fear being Perceived™️)
anyway if you have anything to add to this please do, if not ignore me and i will hide under a rock until the stress-related insanity has worn off and i am a functioning member of society once more 😂
- @bondedpairs
ty for the video!!! and please, WRITE THE KEPT BOYS ESSAYYYY i promise i will read it with my hands over my eyes if you don’t want to be perceived. do it scared!! do it anyway!! we’ll all love you for it!!!
#like. i don’t know how to explain how narratively aware will smith is to me. he knows he’s being put into the codependent rookies arc.#he’s aware that zeev buium transforms into a dog. he knows that he and mack aren’t getting together because mack’s gotta work it out first.#& in a less unhinged way i simply mean that will smith has an air of both self-conscious thought & projection i think is maybe fascinating.#but not in a way in which i actually know this or think that he thinks about himself and how he comes across. he just Is Something ????#the best way i can explain is one of my alltime favorite fics i use it like a shorthand citation bc i love it so much but catchascatchcan’s#many worlds universe but specifically the second tk/pat story second person you the ouroboros spits out its tale nolan walks off screen.#like that is the kind of narrative awareness i am trying to explain that no matter where i put him will smith knows he’s inside a story but#not in a way where he’s trying to do anything to it. he’s just present there. this makes no sense to me either please understand#liv in the replies#bondedpairs#happy to have brought you something in your times of woe!!! also hope things get a little less stressful for you!! <3#we’re 2gether p much 24/7” no go on i say in my nature documentary voice. watching them like bugs under a rock rn observing from a distance#this DID get me to actually watch the video. agreed with puckpocketed saying rich text and ur tags like. YES the daddy issues popped out.#just wants to make sure he’s having fun!! checking up!! mack the prime irritance in will’s life!! foisted off on one another w/ no choice#it’s like when your parents are friends so then you have to be friends with their kids in a way and then also like. you’re the only kids#close in age to each other but they’re NOT but it is definitely not like. i would choose you for any lifetime it is very will smith hockey#(once again) very aware he has to wait for mack to settle down. like now that i’m saying this i DO want clairvoyant will smith which is not#where it goes in the first half but just in the sense of like. those silly posts that are like ‘invested early in stock!’ & it’s a picture#of braden holtby & his beautiful bisexual wife brandi back when holts was a hipster who wore skinny scarves & now everyone thinks he’s sooo#like that but it’s will smith saying my god you are insufferable but you’ll be fantastic in five years. get in the fucking car.#(yes i am drawing extensively from the one picture where will has COMPLETELY tuned him out (there is a football reasoning reference here?#with the patriots? neonfretra drew this also but it was a tweet about the teams. there’s layers to this here ANYWAY) we’re building a life#i realize after the fact i addressed neither the dilf (gilf?) fucking here nor the content of the actual video & polycules to which i say:#brain scrampled egg. the burnsie/joe/patty/(pavs???) polycule just exists to me and the kids intersect the venn diagram but in a much#smaller portion than they intersect each other in both ways (will/mack joe/the guys)#also as for the content of the video. you’re gonna have to give me at LEAST (how long did it take me until i actually started posting tzjd?#i hate that this is my metric but it really was like. i see everyone yelling about them & i’m like ok. [please ignore the irrational hatred#i have for tz at the time it has to do with moritz seider and also whenever i see him on the ice something awakens in kill mode] and i DO#blame tzjd for my 800 drafts and it took me like. a good while before i finally went OH kay. i see it. okay i can get invested. horizon at#a 45 degree angle moon in the late waxing gibbous winds scented of orange & blowing S by SW from the vortex cycle etc etc ass conditions)
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Rachel for da blorbo bingo
she Is the whitenoise in my brain I Can't live a normal life anymore
#she's not actually war criminal levels but Still#also yeah not enough canon But. it does give me some freedom to be Weird about her hfjdhdjdh#i come from the wild west days of everyone and their own fanon rachel so i had like. an Idea of her#but then i finally watched before the storm and they told me she was a theatre kid and now i Understand Her.#she's very much a No One Gets Them Like I Do blorbo. and tbh that's also very much part of The Image she likes to project#i think she's like that both in canon and in a meta fandom sense#still in a way it's everyone and their own personal rachel even tho we've actually Seen her at this point (i love to see them all also)#my girl is tangled up in so many layers we all grab onto different ones. and that's lit to me#go bitch live your multitude of facades to their fullest. surely nothing horrible will befall you. love your hair hope you win <3#anyways yes sorry here are some tired rachel thoughts thank u for coming to my tedtalk#she's in my brain rent free your honor#nova answers
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Hi hello so sorry to bother u but i must ask u HOW did you get that super cool like 3d movie without the glasses on effect
like how did u do this it looks so sick pls share ur secrets pls pls pls
Also i love ur art it’s v pretty & v cool
Thank you!! It’s no bother at all 💕 I use procreate and there’s a chromatic aberration tool under the adjustments button. After I merge all the colors - for the characters, background not included- I select the tool, set it to perspective (there’s a transition and fall off option that I have both set to ‘none’) and slide the tool to % (intensity? Visibility? Idk what to call it lol) that I want and then move the focus point around until I like the look.
Hope that helps!
#if you merge the background and character layers it won’t look the same#I’m not sure what percent I used but it was probably between 6-12% for those photos#and I had the focus point set on their faces#I can be bad at explaining so I hope that’s understandable?#feel free to ask questions any time :)
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Trying? Trying??? By learning. By succeeding!
(about this and my text under the cut)
this is very nice actually thank you so much <3 <3 and like, i probably do need to give myself more credit in general but also i am still very much learning and stumbling and figuring digital art out (and for the most part it is so fun)
I’m gonna ramble about this a bit so bear with me and also i apologize lol, but that art was done after a month of getting increasingly more frustrated with everything turning out so badly and eventually realizing that I was trying to 1. copy a certain look/style that i’ve internalized is what fanart and digital art should look like and is very far away from my style/comfort zone 2. i was trying to do everything digital allows without being comfortable with it or understanding it
so (and this took me a month to realize ? ??) i did what i already knew from doing acrylic and oil painting in the past and could somewhat easily transfer to digital without having to know more than the basics, like i didn’t use a lot of the things digital provides or allows for. i used layers for my own peace of mind but without actually needing them and did some color adjusting (honestly, the color adjusting digital lets you do is such a blessing to me) but the only fancy way i really utilized the medium was making it a gif (which is so fun and a lot easier than i would have thought, like honestly watch me make any future art into gifs too) but there are so many things you can do with the medium with settings/effects, different brushes, tools to use in the process etc that i just do not understand what they are or how to implement them so i am very slowly learning digital art as a whole new medium rather than just being able to use it to adapt what i already know
#sorry you just wanted to say a quick thing and i went on a whole rant (welcome to my blog tbh)#like i'll watch tutorials and they'll be like 'and i just did an overlay and then a multiply layer in a good color (:' and im like ??? wdym#'a good color' what color is a good color? like i can put those effects on my work but that's just me clicking a button without knowing wha#will happen really and like i watch speed paints and see them do stuff and im just ? HUH? what was that and why?#i also do not understand a lot of these concepts with traditional art tbh like people will talk about under paintings and im like yeah sure#i hear you however i also do not- i just place a color where it should be and that's that which i know is why my colors often don't feel#cohesive which is also something i need to learn which is blah- im basically just saying i actually do not know any theory or technique#even with traditional it is all just vibes and hoping for the best which in the long run just makes me very confused about what i am#actually doing and not confident at all i'll be able to do it again so u know#we're out here literally just raw dogging art without any thought#but it's also just i do not need to do all those fancy things but i would like to understand them and i am excited to see my progress now#i just really had a shitty month of making ugly things up until now okay so i was a little fragile when i posted that#but people have been so so nice about it and ive been crying for two days straight#also people have been so lovely about the colors and colors are deadass the hardest part about digital like with paint you often buy a set#that already match and then mix them if needed and they'll look nice together but with digital you're just on your own- no training wheels#ask#anon
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.
feels hella weird to still feel attachment for characters you wrote once, and developed, and fought for --but had zero impact on the actual end result-- and then watching the relay being passed onto a new budding fandom as the mangled result of what you saw them as and what they ended up being, and going like "okay so what does remain", and then you get to find out depending on how people react.
feels. weird.
#thoughts#personal#anyway I feel detached from most characters I worked on except The One#that I have fought so fucking hard for and saw potential in and shielded from Decisions#and there are traces of my work in him that remain in spite of the Horrors#even if I kind of feel very HMMM about the way he's written and represented and how the narrative fails to develop him#BUT#still baby to me ;;;;#“no one understands you like I do” but like in this case for real and genuinely#given a huge part of this character's canon does come directly from me#putting all of my faith in the future fandom to see past the Horrors and unearth the lost potential#I think it's already starting to happen#which !!! very good#to me this character was to become the “tumblr sexyman” of that particular project but I think nobody in the team saw my vision :(#but I hope tumblr actually does see my vision through the many-layered muddying of everything else#ANYWAY I should *definitively* shut up :D :D :D :D
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aight completed my LukeSkywalkerian cycle i am now officially invincible and a better bitch than i could ever hope to be
#i think for the first time in my life i am able to look back at my father and see a human being#not a good one. definitely not a good one; just an utterly human fella failing at his humanity#but i had to acknowledge his humanity so i can acknowledge my own#it's quite freeing. To face your traumas with a narcissist fuckface#and understand that beneath the 518 layers of bullshit; you were both humans and you will always share that#like; looking at things i've said and done and being reminded that it's something he did too– it used to fill me with so much disgust#but for the first time tonight i looked at myself and felt the way i'm hopeful. i know he was holding hope too#and he used it for the most vicious terrible things#and i dont have to. I'll never be him and that's a conscious choice#i think i earned having this bit of pride after weeks of panic attacks and feeling his shadow in the corner of my eye#each time i go to the bathroom at 3am#i think i won something tonight.#won the ability of looking at my history and understand it in ways that doesn't destroy me
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i don’t like. the irrationality created by memories
#ive spent enough time pouring over information and reading studies and making sure i know damn well how this disease works so that at least#it’s not some unknown enemy and becomes something i can understand#which is fine until im crying and shaking in my bathroom over it potentially being in this damn house once again and at this time of the#year where specific anniversaries of horrible milestones come back to haunt me#and i haven’t been fully present in going on two years now but these last two days have passed obnoxiously quickly and none of it feels real#it’s been a long time since i haven’t known the hour much less what day it is#and i can tell you about blood vessels and symptoms and all the ways this disease can function in and destroy the body but it doesn’t make#any difference when nothing feels real and i had to check what day it was and got the date wrong for the first time in years#I’m also defaulting to hyper-rationality which hasn’t happened since middle school and isn’t. a good sign#it’s just a replay of a lot of memories i can’t forgot but this time it’s not just memories and has a very much physical component which is#worse. I think. by far.#and then there’s the repercussions of this where I have to see if my brain will allow me to anything#i can hope i can still go to work and everything because i do love it but last time this happened i wasn’t able to walk into any building#without having to leave#so. I don’t know. not to mention things that don’t have to do with school or careers?#and rationally i should be asleep at the moment because sleep is so so necessary right now but that’s the one thing I’m really struggling#with right now#i don’t know. it’s just a lot and I don’t appreciate the added layer of ‘time is a circle’#there’s other things I have to deal with and work through that are more irrational than research vs trauma response but will probably be#harder to work through because man does my brain love latching onto a grudge but. for lack of a better term. whatever#im most upset about things pertaining to a career has been messed up and that i can’t celebrate chanukah with my family#because everyone else can think about christmas but im losing my winter holiday#im just. anything that isn’t empty is scared and angry and bitter just a little bit#vent tw
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got a comment on “for you i would cross the line” today that started off “have you ever thought about the right ways of the lord jesus christ?” and i was NOT expecting it to end with stain/deku endorsement
#bird noises#i deleted it i dont need that in my good heathen gay fanfic#for you i would cross the line#technically#also i looked into their profile and i genuinely dont know if theyre doing a bit or not#but it was very weird#mixing christianity and bnha like bnha is a layer of heaven and theyre a profit#prophet#sorry#i HOPE its a bit but i dont trust the internet#i just have to laugh bc i was bracing to be scolded for what isnt even smut (yet)#i also don’t understand why staindeku i wasnt gonna hang around and read this persons manifesto tho
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