#not a good one. definitely not a good one; just an utterly human fella failing at his humanity

[psalmsofpsychosis]

aight completed my LukeSkywalkerian cycle i am now officially invincible and a better bitch than i could ever hope to be

[writingwhimsey]

The Tiger and The Oda Princess Ch. 8

Chapter 8

It wasn't long after Shingen returned that Kenshin and Sasuke had arrived, having heard of Ava's capture. "We wanted to help." Sasuke said, when he and Kenshin had entered the council room.

"Thank you." Shingen replied. He knew that Sasuke cared a great deal for Ava.

"What do we know?" Kenshin asked.

"She was taken by a group of pirates who have been posing as merchants." Shingen answered. "It was three days ago now."

"They've taken her into Oda territory." Yoshimoto added.

"You don't think...maybe Nobunaga..." Sasuke spoke up.

Shingen shook his head. "No. If the devil were going to try and get her back, he would come himself."

"Get her back?" Yoshimoto asked, not knowing of Ava's connection to the Oda forces.

"A story for another time." Shingen replied. "Right now we have to focus on getting her back."

Just then another of Shingen's spies came to report. "They've finally arrived in a small village. It's part of Oda territory. It's only an hours ride outside of Azuchi. They have taken up in an inn in the village."

"I see." Shingen said, a plan beginning to take place in his mind.

"We also found this." The spy said, handing a letter to Shingen. It was from Ava's captors.

Shingen looked at the letter. "He's...challenging me to come with my full forces."

"We can't do that...especially that close to Azuchi." Yukimura said. "The Oda would easily see that as an act of war even if they have nothing to do with this."

Shingen nodded. "It appears whoever this pirate is, he wants to start a war between the Takeda and the Oda again."

"I would gladly accept that challenge." Kenshin said. "I'll fight the Oda for you while you rescue Ava."

Shingen shook his head. "It wouldn't be the good fight you're looking for." He said. "Besides...I have another idea."

"Why do I get the feeling that I'm not going to like this idea?" Yukimura asked.

"Because I think you already know what it is." Shingen replied.

Shingen then discussed his plan and gave Yukimura his orders. He then gave orders to his spy network and his plan was set into motion. Everyone began to prepare, getting their things together to leave at first light.

Shingen stood in his and Ava's room, staring up at the moon. He had ordered everyone to get rest for the night, but he knew that there would be none for him. He turned his gaze from the moon to the empty futon.

"I'm sorry I failed you, my love." He said. "I will rescue you, I promise you that."

The morning came and Shingen and a small group o his forces took off. Kenshin and Sasuke joined them, ready to aid in Ava's rescue. Asuna came as well. Once they had Ava safely back, she would likely need professional medical care and she would be sure that she had it.

While riding, Asuna noticed that Yukimura wasn't there. "Where exactly did you send Yukimura, my lord?" She asked Shingen.

"To get help." Shingen answered. "He left last night to be sure he was ahead of us." While Shingen had worked out most of the details of his plan and explained them to his men, this one aspect he had not. He had left this part only to Yukimura.

After two days of hard riding, the Takeda arrived just outside of the small village. They did not go inside nor did they get close enough that they could be detected. Shingen's plan was delicate and it required a certain degree of agility and stealth. Though he hated the idea of waiting, especially not knowing exactly how Ava was being treated, he knew that it was safer if he did not give the bastard the chance to hold her in front of him with a knife at her throat.

Ava...

I had lost track of how long I had been in Motonari's hands. I knew it was days, but how many I couldn't say. Once arriving in the small village, we stayed there, as if he were waiting for something. I was kept locked in a room alone. Motonari or his men stayed guarding my door at all hours. There were even guards outside. Not to mention that my room was on the second floor, so it's not like I could have climbed out the window even if I had wanted to...not like I could easily squeeze through the window either.

Every day Motonari would bring me my meals. I didn't trust him, but yet I had to eat. "You still think I'm gonna poison ya?" He asked, his tone almost teasing. "A dead hostage is a useless hostage, you know. I need ya alive."

"What exactly is your plan, Motonari?" I asked. "What do you get by holding me hostage? What is it you want Shingen to do?"

"Shingen is known as a brilliant strategist. Not to mention he had almost defeated Nobunaga before and then he defeated him again, this time taking back his land." Motonari began to explain. "He's the only one strong enough to bring about the party I'm wanting."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

Motonari smiled the smile of a mad man. "We're in Oda territory love. And I've made sure your husband has been able to glimpse my numbers. He'll need a force equal to mine...his full force and they'll march in here and the Oda will see that as an act of war. We aren't far from Azuchi. It'll be a bloodbath."

I felt my blood turn to ice in my veins. "No." It was my worst nightmare come true.

"The peace they're all trying to work for. The mask that they wear will be ripped off and everyone will be able to see this world for what it truly is." Motonari went on. "Then only the strongest will survive and the world will be as it truly is."

"You're a monster."

"You're not wrong about that, m'lady, but so is everyone else. I'm just honest about it." He then laughed again before exiting the room, locking the door behind him.

I sat on the futon shivering from the cold I had felt at his words. He was one of those watch the world burn types it would seem. I couldn't believe that he would be using me to start a war and between people that I cared deeply about.

I could see everything and everyone I cared about burning in this world that Motonari wanted. I have to find a way out of here. I thought. I have to. I can't let him use me to hurt the people I care about.

I sat there for what felt like hours, trying to work up some kind of escape plan, but utterly failing. It was then that I heard a ruckus coming from the floor below me. It didn't sound like fighting, but more like a party. I then heard the laughter of multiple women.

This noise went on for a while and I even heard some of them coming up the stairs and going into the rooms next to me. "Don't get too distracted or drink too much, fellas!" Motonari shouted at his men, his voice was just outside my door. Then he was coming inside.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Just my crew taking a little leisure time while we wait for the show to start." Motonari answered. "Which should be just about any day now. I'm sure the Takeda have already started marching this way and the Oda probably know."

"You're the worst, slimiest, sorriest, excuse for a human being I've ever met."

"Thank ya, m'lady."

"Why aren't you with one of those ladies?" I asked.

"Someone has to guard ya." Motonari answered, smiling. "Besides, I like hearing those compliments ya give me. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside."

I picked up the pillow from the bed and threw it at him. "You're disgusting."

"There, those compliments." He said, smiling. "I thought you'd be one of those bleeding heart types that cares about everyone, but seems you can sure hate me."

"Just leave me alone."

Just then there was a knock on the door. "Shojumaru." A woman's voice called from the other side in a sweet seductive tone. It was then opening and she was walking inside.

I wasn't sure why, but she looked so familiar to me. "What do you want?" Motonari asked.

"I heard the captain didn't have any company. I thought you might like some." She replied, laying it on very thick. She was then walking over and reaching out to Motonari.

He smacked her hand away. "Don't touch me." He said, his voice almost desperate and something like fear showing in his eyes. "You can keep the lady company." He said, walking out the door.

Once he was gone the woman turned to me and smiled. She came over and knelt down next to me. "How are you Lady Ava?" She asked. "Have they hurt you?"

"How do you..."

"I'm Miyuko. Lord Shingen sent me." She answered. "A few of the others girls are part of the Mitsumono as well."

My eyes widened in surprise. Though knowing Shingen, it made perfect sense that a good portion of his spy network would be ladies of the night.

"Don't worry about a thing my lady. Lord Shingen will be here soon. He has a plan." She explained. "Though that Shojumaru fellow being immune to my charms was not part of it...nor the fact that he and his men aren't drinking much of the sake."

"His name isn't really Shojumaru." I said.

"Who is he then?"

"He said his name was Motonari Mori."

"But he's supposed to be dead."

"To be fair, Shingen and Kenshin both let everyone think they were dead for a while, too." I reminded her.

Miyuko gave me a smile. "True, there are definite strategic benefits to playing dead." She agreed.

"He said his plan was to use me to force Shingen to march into Oda territory and start a war between the Takeda and the Oda. And he doesn't even have a reason for it. He just wants the chaos." I said. "I can't let that happen."

"I know." Miyuko assured me. "And Lord Shingen has already taken precautions for that."

I was about to ask what she meant when we heard footsteps heading up the stairs and towards this room. She quickly pulled out a dagger and placed it in my hands. "Keep this and use it when the moment is right." She whispered to me.

Though I wasn't sure I could stab anyone, I quickly hid the dagger within the folds of my kimono and nodded.

Just as the door to the room came open, Miyuko started giggling, putting on her act very quickly. "And that my dear is the true secret of how to please a man." We both looked up at Motonari came into the room. "Ah, have you changed your mind, Captain?"

"Yeah, I want you and your girls to leave." Motonari answered. "My crew don't deserve this nice of a reward for too long." He was then handing her a sack of coins. "For your trouble."

"Well, thank you Captain." She replied. "Though it is a shame I didn't get to enjoy your company."

"Just get going." Motonari ordered.

"Alright." She agreed before leaving.

Once she was gone Motonari smiled at me. "Getting tips from a courtesan huh? You plan on trying to use your feminine whiles on me, m'lady?"

I glared at him. "In your dreams."

Motonari laughed. "You sure are a feisty one. I think I'm startin' ta see why the Tiger of Kai fell so hard for you."

"If you're just going to poke fun at me, just leave me alone."

"But you're too much fun."

I just glared at him. Shingen is coming. Just hang on a bit longer. I thought to myself.

"Oh if only looks could kill. Then you'd be in luck m'lady. Be able to get out of here on your own." He told me mockingly before leaving the room once again.

I let out a sigh and sent up a silent prayer. Please let Shingen get here soon and unharmed. And without a war starting.

Shingen...

Shingen stood with his men on a cliff overlooking the village Ava was being held captive in. It was then that the sound of hoof beats approached them from behind. Shingen turned to see one of his most hated enemies riding up.

Nobunaga arrived with his closest men and a small force. Of course Yukimura was with them as well, as Shingen had sent him to Azuchi to get their aid. "You sent word for help." Nobunaga said as he dismounted his horse and walked up to Shingen.

"The only choice I have given that she was brought here." Shingen answered.

Hideyoshi still sat on his horse glaring at Shingen. "I can't believe you allowed her to be captured." He spat at Shingen.

"Big talk coming from the group who had her stolen from them in the first place." Shingen responded.

"You know this plan of yours isn't going to work if you guys start fighting right here." Yukimura interjected.

"What is this plan exactly?" Nobunaga asked, eyeing Shingen.

"That depends on the report I am about to get." Shingen answered.

As if on cue, a woman appeared from a foot path in the forest. She was dressed in bright colors and heavy makeup. She was quite clearly a concubine. She bowed before Shingen. "Lord Shingen, I am sorry to say we filed to get Lady Ava out." She told him, a truly sad look on her face. "There was no way to safely do so."

"Give me your report." Shingen said, gritting his teeth.

"She is being held captive by the man claiming to be named Shojumaru, as you suspected." She answered. "They are keeping her in an inn in the middle of the village. The girls and I tried all of our tricks, but well...I couldn't distract Shojumaru. He wouldn't fall for any of the usual tricks. No one drank much sake either. And even if we had been able to get them drunk enough, we couldn't have gotten Lady Ava out of the inn. He has his crew hidden all over the town, though they are not so inconspicuous."

"Damn him." Shingen breathed.

"I was able to see Lady Ava though. Other than some rope burns on her wrists, she appears unharmed." The woman explained. "She also said that Shojumaru told her that he wants to start a war between the Takeda and the Oda, just for the chaos it would bring...he also told her his name was actually Motonari Mori."

"But he's supposed to be dead." Shingen said.

"Yes, well it appears dead men are rising from the grave all over." Nobunaga said, looking at Shingen pointedly.

Shingen glared at Nobunaga briefly and then turned back to his spy. "Thank you for your work Miyuko."

She bowed again. "I wish I could have done more." She then left.

"So, that's how your master spy network works." Mitsuhide said. "It does make sense coming from you, though."

"Women are able to slip in and out under much less suspicion." Shingen replied. "Now to focus on the matter at hand."

"How we are going to get Ava out of there." Nobunaga finished for him.

The men sat down and discussed strategy. The village being part of Nobunaga's domain, he had a man who was from the village and knew they layout well. They soon had the plan figured out and began laying the ground work for it.

As they waited Yoshimoto couldn't help his curiosity. He walked over to Shingen and asked for a moment alone. "Why exactly are the Ida helping us rescue your wife?" He asked. "And how did you even know that they might?"

Shingen sighed. "Before she became my wife, she was with the Oda forces. She had saved Nobunaga's life that night at Hono-ji and for it, he declared her a princess of the Oda clan and gave her shelter in Azuchi."

"Then how did she come to you?"

"As I said before, a story for another time." Shingen replied. "We have a lot of work to do to get ready for tonight."

Ava...

I sat in the room of the inn, a lantern and the light of the full moon shining in from the window all that kept darkness from engulfing the room. I looked up at the sky, keeping the words Miyuko had told me close to my heart. Shingen was on his way and he would be here soon.

Though spring was well on its way, I couldn't help but to feel a coldness that wouldn't go away. It had stayed with me since I had woken up a captive. I missed Shingen and his warmth. It was in that darkness that I felt the movements of the baby growing within my belly.

I placed my hand over my belly where I felt the baby kicking. Though he or she still wasn't quite big enough for those movements to be felt through my hand just yet. I still felt that connection to my child. "Don't worry little one. We'll be out of here soon." I whispered. "I just hope that whatever your papa's plan is it works."

It was then that I heard shouts from the floor below. Then there was the sound of steel clashing against steel. I jumped up as this sound continued. Then hurried footsteps came up the stairs and down the hall. Motonari was soon bursting into the room.

"Dammit, this was not what I expected." He said, his eyes wild.

"What's going on?" I asked.

He then looked at me. A feral smile played across his lips. He was coming over to me and of course I had nowhere to go but to back myself into a corner. He quickly grabbed me by my hair and then yanked.

"Ah!" I shouted as the pain from having my hair pulled hit me.

He was dragging me in front of him then. It was then that the door was being broken down and a sight I had not expected to see greeted me. Shingen rushed in, his sword drawn. Yukimura and Kenshin were with him. But what truly surprised me was when Nobunaga and Hideyoshi came in through the door as well.

"You've been beaten Motonari, let her go." Shingen practically growled at Motonari.

"You must be somethin' truly special m'lady." Motonari said, not even addressing Shingen and the others. "I didn't think the Oda and the Takeda would work together."

"You must not know the true value of the woman you have taken hostage then." Nobunaga spoke up. "You see before she was Shingen's Ava is a princess of the Oda."

"Ah, I see. I guess I should have done more research." Motonari said.

"Let Ava go now and we might let you live." Shingen said.

"You've clearly been defeated and are outnumbered." Kenshin added. "You disgust me, trying to bring about chaos in place of a nice clean war."

"Let her go or face the consequences." Nobunaga declared, his voice deep and cold as ice.

"What consequences?" Motonari asked. "You could clearly all rush me and run me through, but by the time that happens, I'd have the little lady in the path of your swords and you'd be killing the very thing ya came together to protect."

"You're a coward, hiding behind an innocent woman." Hideyoshi spat at him.

"If you gentlemen want the little lady back unharmed, you're gonna have to face each other. Whoever wins, I'll let have her." Motonari spoke of me as if I were some prize.

I felt tears stinging my eyes at the hopelessness of the situation. Shingen had reached out to Nobunaga for help in rescuing me to keep a war from breaking out. Nobunaga and my friends had all come to help. They were all working together for my sake.

"Ava..."

I looked up at the sound of Shingen saying my name. My gaze found his. I saw the pain in his eyes. It was in that pain I saw in his eyes, I found my determination. The dagger Miyuko had given me earlier felt heavy against me in my kimono. My hands were free, so I reached in my kimono and pulled it out. I unsheathed the weapon and swiftly lifted it up and back, cutting my hair.

I instantly started to tumble forward as Motonari had been holding me up by my hair. I heard some gasps as I pitched forward. Familiar strong arms wrapped around me, catching me before I could fall. "I got you." Shingen's voice was at my ear, as he caught me and righted me, keeping an arm around my waist and pulling me to his side, shielding me.

"Looks like you lost your shield." Shingen declared.

The others then began to rush Motonari, but he didn't hesitate. He headed for the window. "Thanks for the party fellas, but I won't go down that easy." He was then jumping from the window.

Shingen and Nobunaga both ordered men to pursue Motonari and any of his crew who might have gotten away. Asuna, Yoshimoto, Sasuke, and the remaining Azuchi warlords were soon coming into the room. I couldn't hide my surprise at seeing them all together.

"Ava, are you alright?" Shingen asked, looking at me, lifting his hand that wasn't holding me up to cup my cheek.

"Yeah." I answered with a nod. I could feel the tears stinging my eyes.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to get here." He told me.

"You got here just in time." I replied.

"Thank goodness you're safe." Hideyoshi said.

It was then that the stress and tension I had been carrying these last few days began to leave my body. I hadn't been able to sleep much and suddenly felt very exhausted. Black began to form at the edge of my vision.

The last thing I heard before passing out was Shingen and the others all calling my name.

Immediately after Ava passed out, Shingen caught her in his arms. "Lay her down on the futon." Asuna instructed. Shingen followed the midwife's instructions and then moved out of her way.

"Let me help." Ieyasu said.

"Fine." Asuna agreed. "But I need the rest of you to leave the room. It's too crowded in here."

Shingen and the others reluctantly left while Asuna and Ieyasu instantly got to work examining Ava. Shingen and the others waited in the hall for what felt like hours before Asuna and Ieyasu came out of the room.

"She's alright. It's mostly exhaustion and a little bit of shock." Asuna said.

"We've given her some medicine, but she needs rest." Ieyasu added.

"And more medicine that isn't here in this village." Asuna added.

"We have plenty back in Azuchi." Ieyasu said.

Shingen and Nobunaga looked at each other. Nobunaga spoke up first. "Then we bring her back to Azuchi...you are welcome to come as well and stay as long as Ava needs."

"That would be the best course of action for Lady Ava and the baby's health." Asuna said, seeing the doubt in Shingen's face. "Even after she wakes up, she will need to rest for several days. Traveling back to Kai too soon...it would be bad for her and the baby."

Shingen nodded. "Alright."

Ava...

I woke up sometime in the middle of the day. The sunlight streamed in, illuminating the familiar room. It was not my room in Kai which I shared with Shingen, but my room in Azuchi castle.

"There's those beautiful eyes."

I turned my head at the sound of Shingen's voice. He sat on the floor beside my futon. I started to push myself up, but he gently placed his hands on my shoulders and pushed me back down in bed.

"You still need to rest my love." He told me, gently stroking my cheek with a finger.

"What exactly happened after I passed out? How long have I been out? And how did we end up in Azuchi?" I asked.

"Asuna and Ieyasu examined you. Declared you were exhausted and in slight shock and said that the medicine you needed was here along with plenty of rest. Nobunaga agreed to allow us to stay until you were well enough for travel back home." Shingen answered.

"So...not only did you get Nobunaga and the others to help you in my rescue, but now they're letting us stay here?" I asked.

Shingen gave me a smile. "I don't think you realize the power you hold over people."

Before I could say anything the door to my room was opening and Asuna and Ieyasu were walking in. "You're awake, that's wonderful." Asuna said.

"Yes, it would have been a pain if you were still out." Ieyasu agreed. "It's easier to give you your medicine when you're awake."

"How are you feeling, Ava?" Asuna asked me, coming to sit on the other side of me.

"Okay." I answered.

"Any cramping?" She asked. "No signs of...bleeding?"

I shook my head. "No, in fact the baby is kicking right now."

"Okay, good." She said with a sigh of relief.

Ieyasu gave me some medicine before heading out, saying he would go tell everyone I was awake. Just as I was about to ask Shingen and Asuna something, I heard two familiar voices in the hall. Two voices that I would not have imagined together at least not without the fighting.

"How is it you make something as delicious as these dumplings?"

"I've been perfecting my cooking all my life. Food is what keeps us alive. And quit trying to take more dumplings. These aren't for you."

The voices stopped at my door before sliding it open. "Heard you were finally awake, lass. Thought you might be hungry." Masamune greeted as he walked in the room, carrying a tray. "Had to defend the food from this guy though." He added the last part gesturing to Yukimura who had been walking with him.

"Good food should be appreciated." Yukimura replied. "Besides dumplings are my favorite."

I wanted to say something, but I was having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that Masamune and Yukimura were talking to each other and getting along almost as if they were old friends instead of enemies.

"What's that look on your face for, lass?" Masamune asked, as he sat the tray of food down beside my futon. "You didn't think I'd let you starve while you were here, did you?"

"You still in shock or something?" Yukimura asked. He then looked at Asuna. "I thought you were good at this kind of thing. Can't you find a way to snap her out of this?"

"I'm in shock alright." I replied. I then looked over at Shingen. "This is real right? I'm not having some kind of fever dream or something? Did I hit my head at some point?"

Shingen smiled at me. "I assure you everything is real and you are awake, my princess."

"I can always pinch you, if you want Ava." Yukimura teased.

I glared at him. "No, I'm good."

"Alright, you need to eat lass." Masamune said.

It was then that the aroma of the food that he had brought wafted over to me. My mouth began to water and my stomach let out a hungry growl.

Masamune laughed. "Sounds like the tiger cub in your belly is hungry. You better eat up."

Shingen was then helping me to sit up. Masamune placed the tray in my lap and handed me chop sticks. I took them and dug into the meal. The flavor burst across my tongue, sweet and savory. "Mmm, delicious as always Masamune. Thank you." I said smiling at him.

"Good, I made all your favorites. Don't worry while you're staying here, I'll keep you fed."

I noticed that Masamune and Yukimura had left the door to my room opened and that was when I saw Hideyoshi and Mitsunari appear in the door way. Hideyoshi was carrying a tray of tea.

"Good to see you awake, Ava." Hideyoshi greeted.

"Yes, we were so glad to hear the news, Lady Ava. I see Lord Masamune has already brought you food."

"We thought you might like some tea. It's a special herbal blend to help with regaining energy and strength."

"Thank you." I said, smiling at them.

"Wait a second, what herbs are in that tea?" Asuna asked.

"Why would you ask?" Hideyoshi countered.

"She is pregnant there are some herbs that are dangerous for her to have you dunce." Asuna replied.

"I thought she only talked to Yukimura that way." I said to Shingen.

"Like you, she doesn't hide her feelings when she's passionate about something." Shingen replied with a smile.

Hideyoshi then listed off the herbs that were in his tea. Asuna listened and gave the okay when he had finished. "Alright, those are all safe."

I had finished eating and was then taking the tea, when Mitsuhide appeared in my doorway with Sasuke of all people. "You are quite a fascinating ninja." Mitsuhide told him.

I was further surprised when Nobunaga and Kenshin were following behind them. "Of course he is. I trained him personally." Kenshin spoke, a hint of pride in his voice.

"Yes, but to become such a master in only four years, that is quite a feat." Nobunaga said. "Sasuke, if you ever find yourself wanting to serve a new lord, come see me. I could use a man of your talents."

"So now it's a party?" I asked, taking note at how pretty much everyone was in my room.

"That would explain why that sourpuss Ieyasu left before the rest of us got here." Masamune said. "Though someone did have to bring us all the news."

"It is good to see you are awake, Ava." Nobunaga greeted me.

I looked around at everyone. Most of these men were enemies and yet they were all here and tolerating each other, some of them seeming to get along quite well in fact, all for me. I felt the emotions in my chest as the tears began to gather in my eyes.

"Ava, what's wrong?" Shingen asked, his voice soft, a gentle hand coming to my cheek to wipe away a tear that had escaped.

"Nothing's wrong...I'm just so happy." I answered. "You guys all put aside you differences and worked together...all for me."

Shingen put an arm around my shoulders and pulled me close. "There is nothing I wouldn't do for you." He whispered to me.

"You're still part of the Oda forces." Nobunaga said.

I couldn't help it, I started crying harder then. This was such a touching moment and I just couldn't help it.

Shingen reached into his kimono and pulled out the handkerchief I had made for him and used it to dry my tears.

"Come on lass, no need to cry." Masamune said gently from beside me.

"I...can't...help...it...it's...the...preg...nancy." I replied, blaming my complete lack of control on the hormones raging inside my body.

"Says the most emotionally expressive woman I've ever met." Mitsuhide teased.

"Just hush...you." I replied, starting to calm down.

"You think she's crying now, just wait till she realizes the mess that is her hair." Yukimura said.

That was when I remembered that I had cut my hair with the knife Miyuko had given me. I reached my hand up to touch my hair. My formerly waist-length hair was now well above my shoulders. "How bad is it?" I asked, afraid to know.

Shingen reached a hand up to stroke my hair. "Not bad at all."

"That was quite a bold move you made, cutting your hair like that." Nobunaga praised me.

"I'm disappointed I didn't get to witness that move." Sasuke said. "I thought that only happened in the movies."

"Movies? What in the world is that?" Mitsuhide asked, catching onto Sasuke's modern term.

"In the our hometown, it's a type of play." I answered, figuring that was the best way to explain things.

"I see." Mitsuhide said.

"So women cutting their hair to escape a captor is something that happens in these...movies?" Nobunaga asked.

"Yes and it usually signifies a great change for the female character." Sasuke explained. "Usually a personal growth kind of moment."

"I see." Nobunaga replied, eyeing me.

I wasn't sure what it was, but there was something almost warm in his eyes as he looked at me.

It was then that Shingen was moving closer to me and wrapping both arms around me. "It was a brave move that allowed us to get you out safely."

Something flashed in Nobunaga's eyes then. Then a grin came to his face. "Yes and I am glad we were able to help. And of course you are welcome to stay here as long as you need...or you never have to leave Ava. Clearly you would be safer here."

Before I could respond Shingen was speaking. "Are you implying I cannot keep my wife and child safe?" He asked.

"I am not implying it." Nobunaga replied. "I am only stating the truth. Motonari tricked you to lure you away and then stole her away."

"Says the man who was here in Azuchi when she was stolen away in the first place." Shingen countered.

"A mistake I wouldn't make again." Nobunaga replied.

Shingen had released me by this point and was standing. Nobunaga stood as well, both taking fighting postures. "Perhaps I should prove you wrong."

"That's enough out of the both of you!" I shouted.

Shingen and Nobunaga both actually looked abashed. At this moment, they reminded me of two children who had just been caught by their teacher before a fight could start.

"We were having a nice moment and time here and then you just had to start a fight!" I said, feeling hot tears of anger stinging my eyes. "Nobunaga, you just had to start in on Shingen and that's not right."

Shingen looked at Nobunaga at my chiding with a smug grin.

"Shingen, wipe that smug grin off your face. Just because Nobunaga started in on you doesn't mean you had to take the bait." I continued.

This caused Shingen's face to fall and Nobunaga to get a slight grin. The other warlords sat there silently watching, all with stunned looks on their faces.

"Alright, I think you all should get out now. You're causing my patient undue stress." Asuna said. "Ava needs to be resting and you're all no longer helping with that."

The guys all began to file out, Shingen the only one lingering. "I meant you too, Lord Shingen." Asuna said.

Shingen looked surprised. "You can't..."

"I mean it now get out." Asuna said, putting her hands on Shingen's back and shoving him out the door. She then closed it behind him. She looked at me with a fond smile. "You are truly one brave woman, my lady."

"Why do you say that?" I asked.

"You just yelled at the Tiger of Kai and the Devil King, scolding them as if they were small children." She answered. "That takes guts."

I sighed. "I don't know about that..."

"Let me touch up your hair for you." She said heading over to a table in my room and picking up some scissors.

"It's really bad isn't it?" I asked, glad for the subject change.

"Just a bit uneven is all." She answered. She grabbed a couple of towels that were in my room, laying one behind me and then draping the other around my shoulders.

"So, you've cut hair before?" I asked.

"I used to help cut my mother's." She answered. "And I keep my own trimmed. So, don't worry you're in good hands."

"I know." I replied. "Thank you."

Asuna could tell I wasn't just talking about the haircut. "You're welcome. That's what I'm here for."

The warlords...

After being shooed out into the hallway, the warlords all looked at each other, feeling stunned. "I can't believe you two." Kenshin said, looking at Shingen and Nobunaga. "Letting a woman scold you like children. The Tiger of Kai and the Devil King, pfft." He was then walking off.

The rest of the men made excuses and walked off, leaving Shingen and Nobunaga alone in the hall. Nobunaga looked at Shingen. "Do you play Go?" He asked.

"I have yes." Shingen replied. "Why?"

"Let us have a game." Nobunaga replied turning to head for the tenshu.

Shingen looked at the door to Ava's room and sighed. He knew she was right, but Asuna was also right that Ava needed her rest. He also knew that Asuna could actually cause him pain and if she used the techniques she knew, could easily incapacitate him. He followed Nobunaga.

They made their way to the tenshu and Nobunaga pulled out a goban. The two men sat across from each other and began their fame. "Why am I not surprised you would make your room in the tenshu?" Shingen asked.

"Why wouldn't I?" Nobunaga replied, placing his black stone on the board.

Shingen thought for a moment before placing his white stone on the board. "You enjoy ruling from high and lording over everyone."

"Think as you wish." Nobunaga replied.

"The real question is why did you bring me here for this game?"

"I promised you sanctuary while Ava recovered...but a battle in Go is close enough to a fight with you." Nobunaga answered. "And in Go no one dies. You can fight a strong opponent over and over again."

Shingen caught a note of emotion in Nobunaga's voice. "I see." He replied, observing his enemy.

"I have also been thinking...we should work together."

"How can you even suggest that?" Shingen asked, having a hard time hiding his disgust and hatred.

"You have Kai back, which you took fairly in battle." Nobunaga began. "We did work well together for Ava's sake."

"It was the only way to get her back and not start a needless war." Shingen replied.

"I know." Nobunaga replied. "But you did also help to free a village in my territory of an invader. It was thanks to your spies we were able to free the villagers and rescue Ava without any innocents falling to harm."

"I don't know how to feel with words of praise from you." Shingen replied.

"If you worked with us, we could keep more battles ending in a similar fashion. It would also bring peace and unification sooner." Nobunaga replied.

"What makes you want this?" Shingen asked.

"I have made mistakes in my quest for unification, with your help I could avoid repeating those mistakes." Nobunaga answered.

Shingen narrowed his gaze at Nobunaga suspiciously. Nobunaga met his gaze and for once Shingen could see the weight of the lives Nobunaga had taken did indeed weigh on him.

The look in Nobunaga's eyes only lasted a moment, then a devilish grin came to his face. "It would also allow me to see Ava more freely."

"I knew you were at the head of the line." Shingen replied.

"What line is that?"

"The line of men who are waiting for me to mess up with Ava so they can swoop in and take her from me."

"Says the man who took her from me in the first place."

"She's too good for you." Shingen replied. "Too good for me, too."

"And yet you still married her."

"Because for whatever reason she chose me."

"I know."

The two men sat in silence for a while then, the only sound was the clacking of the stones on the goban. They continued the game both lost in their own thoughts. Finally the game ended...in a draw.

"Hmm, strange no one has ever come so close to besting me at Go." Nobunaga declared.

"Fitting that the man who bested you in actual battle would be such a challenge for you in Go." Shingen replied.

"Indeed." Nobunaga replied. "Think about my offer while you stay here."

"I will consider it." Shingen answered.

"While you consider it, we should form at least temporary truce." Nobunaga replied.

"You mean to remove the mutual thorn from our sides that is Motonari?" Shingen asked, though the question was rhetorical. "I had already begun to consider that possibility...and that one I can agree to. I can't let that bastard get away after what he did nor can I let him accomplish his goal."

"Agreed." Nobunaga replied.

The sun had already set during their game, the light of the moon and some lanterns were the only thing that kept the room lit. Shingen took note of this. "It is getting late. I had better return to my wife." He said standing up. "I can't let her sleep alone."

Nobunaga smirked. "If she isn't still angry with you, you mean."

"She has forgiven me for worse." Shingen replied with a shrug of his broad shoulders. "Have a good night." He was then leaving.

Nobunaga was now alone with his thoughts. He reached for his cup and a bottle of sake. "There is no need for you to remind me she is yours now." He said, as he filled his cup. "That look in her eyes is enough." He then let out a sigh.

Ava...

After Asuna had finished evening out my hair, she handed me a small hand mirror. I looked at my reflection, seeing my golden brown locks were now to my chin. I reached up with my free hand and touched the short locks.

"Just remember, it will grow back." Asuna assured me. "And you being pregnant will help with that. It will probably grow faster than it would have otherwise."

I nodded.

"Plus, I think it looks pretty cute this way." She added.

"You know, this isn't the first time I've had my hair this short...but it's the first time in several years. I feel kind of...naked without it."

Asuna smiled at me. "I'm sure you'll get used to it."

"Yeah." I agreed with a sigh as I set the mirror aside.

"What's wrong?" She asked as she set about cleaning up the mess. "I know this isn't just about your hair?"

"I just...was I too harsh earlier? With Shingen and Nobunaga I mean?" I asked, unable to stop thinking about their argument earlier.

"No." She answered. "They were acting like big babies and you treated them accordingly. It's good practice for you as I am sure this is only the first child you and Lord Shingen will have together. I'm sure you'll have to break of many fights between them."

I couldn't help but to laugh a little at Asuna's words. "But was I expecting too much? I mean they've been enemies for so long. I can't really expect them to get along just because of me."

"You don't realize it at all do you?" Asuna asked me.

"Realize what?"

"True they've been enemies for a long time, but that argument earlier wasn't about that. It was about you."

"What? Nobunaga was just egging Shingen on."

Asuna shook her head. "Shingen isn't the only man in love with you."

I looked at Asuna. "What? Are you trying to say Nobunaga is in love with me? That's ridiculous! He just thinks of me as a lucky charm."

"Uh-huh. Sure and I'm Buddha."

I felt my cheeks burning out of embarrassment. "Well, then I guess you should come over here and let me rub your belly in that case because you're clearly wrong,"

Asuna just laughed. "Lord Shingen sees it. That's why he responded the way he did. He was jealous."

"Shingen being jealous, I do believe. Mostly because he and I have discussed it before."

Asuna and I talked for a while longer, moving on to other subjects. Masamune returned with dinner after a bit, but Asuna told him he wasn't allowed to stay. I ate the delicious food and noticed that it was starting to get late. Asuna had already lit a lantern.

"Don't worry I am sure Lord Shingen will be back soon." Asuna told me.

"I just wish I could get up and go find him." I replied. I had already started to feel bad for yelling earlier.

Just as I was beginning to get worried, the door to my room slid open and Shingen was stepping inside. Asuna was taking that as her cue to leave. "Well, I will leave you guys alone." She declared, heading for the door as Shingen stepped out of the way. "Oh, and I feel his should go without saying, but knowing you two I have to say it. Especially since you look quite apologetic Lord Shingen and I know you will be making up here soon. No intimacy." She was wagging her finger at us.

"But..." I found myself beginning to speak up.

"No. You need to rest. Everything is fine so far, but too much excitement could cause you to go into early labor and we can't have that." Asuna said.

"We will behave." Shingen replied.

"You better." Asuna said before heading out of the room and sliding the door shut behind her.

Shingen came to sit down in front of me on the futon. He reached a hand up to stroke my hair. "Asuna did a good job evening it out, it seems." He said.

I nodded. "Yeah."

We were both looking at each other a moment and then opened our mouths to speak at the same time. "I'm sorry."

Shingen smiled at me. "I know what I'm sorry for, but why are you apologizing?"

"Because i was thinking maybe I got a little too worked up and I shouldn't have lost it on you and Nobunaga like that." I replied.

He shook his head. "No, you were right. I let my jealousy get the better of me and let him get to me."

"I understand you feeling jealous, but you really have nothing to feel jealous over." I told him. "My heart, my body, my soul, all of me is all yours."

Shingen reached a large hand to cup my face, his thumb gently stroking my cheek. "You know when you say things like that, it makes it harder to do this no intimacy thing." Shingen replied. "I just want to take you in my arms and make love to you until the sun comes up."

I smiled at him. "Once Asuna gives the all clear, I won't protest that idea."

Shingen chuckled and moved around to sit behind me and then pulled me into his lap. I responded by leaning back into him. I felt Shingen lean his head down and a feather-light kiss was pressed to the nape of my neck. "Hmm, I think I like your hair this short. It makes it easier to get to your neck." He whispered, his breath tickling my sensitive nape, causing a shiver to run down my spine.

"You would find the silver lining." I replied.

"You know, I still think you're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." Shingen assured me, trailing more kisses along my neck.

"Hmm, I know." I replied, enjoying the feeling of his lips. "You should...probably stop that."

"Probably." Shingen agreed, continuing to kiss my neck. "It's just so hard." He placed a few more kisses before sighing and then resting his chin on my shoulder, his cheek against mine.

"I wish she would have given us a time frame." I said with a pout.

"I'm glad to know you miss me as much as I miss you." He replied.

"I can never get enough of you, Shingen."

"And I can never get enough of you, Ava." He replied. He was then placing his hands over my belly. "But you need to rest...and we have to keep you safe little one."

"Have I ever told you how much I love it when you talk to the baby?" I replied.

"Just have to make sure she knows Papa's voice." Shingen said, smiling.

I placed my hands over his. "You know, I'm glad that Nobunaga is letting us stay here and that everything is okay and whatnot, but I can't wait to get home."

"Have I ever told you how much I love it that you think of Kai as home already?"

"You know, in my time they say home is where the heart is...my heart is with you. So for me wherever you are is home."

I felt Shingen's embrace gently tighten around me. "And here I thought I was the master of words." He was then lifting his hand up to place his fingers beneath my chin, drawing me to turn my head and face him, then bringing my lips to his for a tender kiss.

When we broke the kiss, we leaned our foreheads against each other. "I love you, Shingen."

"I love you, Ava." He replied. He was then stroking beneath my eyes with his thumb. "You look like you're getting tired, my goddess."

"Maybe just a little." I replied.

Shingen was then lying us back in the futon, still keeping me wrapped in his arms. "While I can't make love to you all night, I can at least still hold you all night." He said, kissing my forehead.

I nestled into his embrace. "It's my favorite place to be." It was then that I thought of something. "So, what were you up to while Asuna put you and the others in time out?" I asked, my tone playful.

Shingen laughed. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you." He replied.

"Try me." I said.

"Playing a game of Go with the Devil King."

I looked up at Shingen and could tell he was telling the truth, and yet I still just couldn't picture it.

"I knew you wouldn't believe me, but I swear it's true."

"Oh, I believe you, it's just, I think trying to picture it has caused my brain to short-circuit."

Shingen laughed. "It was a very interesting game."

"Why do I feel like you aren't talking about the actual game?"

"We have decided to work together on a temporary truce." Shingen explained. "Motonari did get away and he clearly wants to cause problems...nor can we let him get away with kidnapping you."

"So, you guys are planning to work together until you can stop Motonari for good?" I asked.

"Yes, at least that much."

"What do you mean at least?"

"You really do catch on to every word I say, don't you?" Shingen asked, looking at me with a smile.

"I just try to be a good listener." I replied. "Now what did you mean by that?"

Shingen sighed. "I hate to say this, but he did offer me a more permanent truce. Asking if I would be willing to work with him to help unite the country and finally bring peace."

I felt a surge of hope in my heart at Shingen's words. I did my best to keep my excitement down. "And what did you say to that?" I asked.

Shingen smiled at me. "I hear that hope in your voice, no need to try and hide it." He said. "I didn't say no...I said I would consider it."

I nodded. "Well, it is a lot to think about and I know you have to consult your men and the council you created...and the bad blood to get over."

"I know you're hopeful." Shingen replied. "It does make sense...and it does seem like he's changed and sees the advantages of my information network."

"Well, I won't try and persuade you. I know you know how I feel, but it's a decision that only you and the others can make. I'll just be crossing my fingers." I replied, smiling at him.

"And if the council and I make the decision not to agree to the more permanent alliance, will you be okay?"

I could see the honest concern in Shingen's eyes. "I'll be disappointed, but I'll understand. And I'll still hope that minds can be changed later. I know there's more than just my feelings to consider in this matter."

"How did I ever get such an amazing woman to be my wife?" Shingen asked me, kissing my brow.

"Just lucky, I guess." I replied with a cheeky smile. "And only because you're such an amazing man and I'm pretty lucky that you're my husband."

Shingen drew me closer to kiss me gently on the lips. "Rest well, my love."

We snuggled closer and then I was drifting off to sleep safely in his arms.

Shingen lay there, watching Ava sleep. He brushed her now short locks back from her face. "I'll keep you safe and I will do what I can to make sure the rest of your time here in Azuchi is restful." He whispered to her sleeping form.

Shingen gently tightened his hold on Ava, snuggling her closer. She let out a contented sigh in her sleep and nuzzled his chest. He smiled and kissed the top of her head before joining her in the land of dreams.

See what happens next below :)

https://writingwhimsey.tumblr.com/post/656174952403386368/the-tiger-and-the-oda-princess-ch-9

[cosmic-navel-gazin]

In which I chronicle my Legacy of Kain journey and bridge it with your boy Adam Warlock! (Part 5 of many, and MASSIVE, I MEAN, HUMOUNGOUS SPOILERS for Soul Reaver 2 and the 1970’s Warlock)

Awwwwwwwww yeah we are going there, these compositions are most definitely on purpose.

This is where I realize that my true purpose in this world is to draw and talk about obscure or forgotten works of fiction, and I embrace this destiny. 

Ladies and gents, laughing times are over (not really though), sh*t gets very real again.

I guess it’s a bit late for this but if you have even the slightest interest in checking any of these properties out, do yourself a favor and go experience them first hand. If you just want to see me lose my mind and don’t really care about spoilers then please, proceed.

You know, when I started this little crossover of sorts, I was just having a laugh you know? It was just a cute little thing, I’ll write this one post and maybe I’ll get enough material for a second one and that’s it. THIS IS THE SEVENTH POST (even though it says Part 5). 

Never, and I do mean never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be here one day, talking about having your past and your time-travelling-future selves meet and clash, of seeing your sanctimonious attitude and overall the worst about yourself personified and given free reign to go on bloodthirsty crusades showing off how much of a hypocrite you’ve bee- but wait, I am getting a bit ahead of myself. 

I’ll get there I promise, let’s go back a bit.

Where we last left off, we managed to travel back to an even more distant past than we’ve been before. To the time of the great Vampire Purge, so that Raziel can meet this infamous ancient vampire who knows all the lore and might have the answers we seek on what exactly is causing the corruption of our world.

As we step out into this era of History we notice the fields covered with the Sarafan Order banners, and the impaled corpses and chopped-off heads of vampires. No different no doubt from the kindness vampires showed mankind later when they gained the upper hand during Kain’s 1.000 year old reign. Raziel seems a bit distraught by the sight since he assumed the Sarafan to be virtuous and heroic:

“For all the butchery of Moebius’s crusade, this massacre was somehow more chilling. The killing fields of the Sarafan betrayed a kind of orderly ruthlessness, the cold-blooded righteousness of the true believer.”

“Here at last in the flesh, I beheld my former brothers-in-arms, the warrior-priests of the Sarafan order; their lives devoted solely to the annihilation of the vampire plague. And while I confess I felt a twinge of longing, a pang of grief for what I had believed was my lost virtue, I regarded them now with none of the reverence I formally felt. For I had seen the human face of the vampires, and now I beheld the monstrousness of these men.”

While on the topic of genocidal holy wars, my boy Adam here had a bit of a run with a similar pious little group that goes by the name of Universal Church of Truth, who were going about doing a bit of cleaning throughout the galaxy:

Things don’t go so well:

Interestingly enough, I’ve learned of a deleted cutscene for Soul Reaver 2 that plays out very similarly to Adam’s first encounter with this “holy” order. There was this minor female vampire character that was being hunted down and would be executed by vampire hunters right in front of Raziel.

This scene was probably removed because they knew that almost 20 years later there would be some asshole on the internet trying to compare their games to obscure marvel comics of the 70’s.

But yeah bummer for Adam here, we’re a couple of pages in and he’s already failed to save someone. However, through the power of the Soul Gem, he’s able to retain her soul for a brief moment, letting us know more about these holy inquisitors:

Some of these methods don’t seem that far off from the Sarafan, especially on the twisting of good intentions part, but on a galactic scale:

Aye, a great bunch o’ fellas all around, if you submit and “fit in”:

Damn.

Hush Adam, I’ll get back to your predicament give me a moment. I just want the good people at home to keep both this church and the Magus, the god they worship in mind for later.

Now, back to the game. In the Sarafan Stronghold during the first hour of gameplay, Raziel made comments on the vampire he’s currently seeking while looking at some stained glass depictions:

“So this was the legendary Janos Audron - reputed to have been the most ancient and diabolical vampire to have ever existed. According to folklore, he lived high in the cliffs of Nosgoth’s northern mountains, and preyed mercilessly on the defenseless villagers below. His reign of terror ended when the Sarafan finally hunted him down and tore his throbbing heart from his still-living body. (…) But I wondered - could Janos Audron truly have been as monstrous as depicted here? Or was this merely artistic licence by the Sarafan, who sought to lionize themselves by demonizing their darkest enemy?

Keep these stained glass images in mind, they’ll also be important shortly. Neetheless to say, the hype was very real to meet this Janos Audron.

And as I kept hearing about this gentleman, I thought: “I really love this cast of pricks, where everyone speaks in half truths and is hiding something and has some hidden agenda, but you know, I kind of wish there was some slim ray of hope, of goodness and honor, just some good old plain chivalry and honesty. Maybe this Janos lad won’t be as bad as he was depicted back in the Sarafan Stronghold.” 

It took us a while but we’re finally make it to his retreat.

I really love the entire segment, the hopelessness and feeling of dread while making your way through this place, probably my favourite puzzle area of the game.  I also really love the music and architecture here.

When we do make it to the top, BOY OH BOY were my prayers answered!

Lo and behold, enter Raziel’s new daddy/mentor figure, my man JANOS AUDRON! Proabably the one decent and kind creature I’ve seen yet in these games (if you don’t count helpless human npcs who are just trying to live their lives but are caught in all these wars, slaughter and destruction).

FINALLY an understanding, moderate, compassionate man in the midst of all the lies and deception. I love him! Oh and he has what seems to be a Romanian accent. Maybe a nod to the granddaddy of all vampires: Dracula? I think his design is cool as well, so that helps.

Before we go into huge lore dumps and while on the topic of having a brief father/mentor figure for your protagonist when he’s utterly lost, alone and confused, I thought I’d bridge it with Adam’s own once foster parent, the High Evolutionary:

From the few minutes you get to know these dads they’re very different characters with different backstories and motivations. Janos is this sad lonely old man, the last of the ancient vampires and one who has been keeping himself alive solely for his sense of duty. 

While the High Evolutionary was once a man called Herbert Wyndham who performed an experiment that evolved him into a godlike being. This experience proved to be such an assault on his senses and perceptions that he chose to encase himself in this armour. Like the name suggests he is obsessed with genetic manipulation and tampering of various kinds, it is his life’s ambition. 

Despite his somewhat villainous appearance, he’s never portrayed as such from what little I’ve read, he’s just…a bit creepy. Like, he takes Adam in and is super stoked about adopting him, but he also values him not so much as a person per se as you and me would, but more as one would value an impressivly carved piece of work:

I don’t know, maybe it’s his metal face that doesn’t emote much; his sometimes questionable morality; maybe it’s the fact that Adam was 5 years old at this point, a baby boy, and this pink armoured deity is super hyped about him; there’s something a bit unsettling about this guy. Have some more dubious quotes I’ve stumbled upon:

All in all, I think he did care about him, in his own strange way:

Anyway, what’s important is that these adoptive dads serve a somewhat similar purpose, and that is to push/urge our ”“”“"heroes”“”“” (I say with many quotation marks) into a more benevolant role: to guide them in their messianic mission and save a corrupted world. Basically there to provide a chance for them to be good boys. Up until now their track record leaves much to be desired, and they’ve been quite lost on what they’re supposed to be and do.

Raziel:

“So it’s all true, then - what Kain and Vorador have told me - I really am some kind of unholy vampire messiah…”

Janos:

“Unholy? -no. Messiah… perhaps.”

Raziel:

“I don’t like that word - it smells of martyrdom.”

Janos:

“Raziel, your role in this world’s destiny is more crucial - and more benevolent - than you’ve allowed yourself to believe. Your journey will not be easy - dark powers are allied against you.”

Oh and both dads give their sons their toys (Soul Reaver and Soul Gem):

Back to the meeting with Janos, we finally learn tons of things, both new and others that have been hinted at throughout, namely:

Janos has been living a life of a recluse, alone, on top of the Aerie;

Janos knows of Raziel (some old legend I think) and has been waiting for him to hand him over the Soul Reaver, saying it is the key to save Nosgoth;

The Pillars of Nosgoth were erected by the ancient vampires and they were the rightful guardians. Janos was called to be th 10th guardian, the Keeper of the Reaver;

Over time this ancient race started to die out, with their history slowly being forgotten;

Humanity prospered and since the Pillars choose their guardians from birth and vampires were no longer born, humans were called to be their guardians but were “wholly ignorant of their true purpose.”

The Circle of human guardians is led to believe (by whom we do not yet know) that vampires are a cancer in the world. Janos warns that “with their vampire purge, the members of the Circle have assaulted the very architects of the Pillars they are sworn to protect (…) With every vampire they kill, the humans are slitting their own throats.”

Janos being a cool level-headed guy here when Raziel says he must hate mankind for all the suffering they’ve brought to him:

“They fear what they don’t understand; and they despise what they fear. But no - I do not hate them.”

I find it funny how Raziel asks if humanity should be forgiven for trying to exterminate the vampire kind and doesn’t realize that: one, he himself was exterminating vampires just a couple of moments ago back in SR1; and two, how he is just like how Janos describes humanity to be:

“They don’t understand what they’re doing. They are simply unenlightened… and vulnerable to manipulation.”

Again, this last line, completely unlike a certain blue shambling corpse I know. Not like him AT ALL.

Then, as they head inside, we learn something odd as Janos presents Raziel with the Reaver. You see, the two times Raziel has been close to the Soul Reaver still in its physical form, reality started to bend and distort (I show it off in this previous post). 

When we met Kain and decided not to kill him, he explained that when: “two incarnations of the blade meet in time and space, a paradox is  created, a temporal distortion powerful enough to derail history”

This distortion, or sense of displacement however, is nowhere to be found now when Janos presents the blade to him. Raziel feels nothing and says that “this nothingness is somehow worse…” and to get it away from him.

We learn the Reaver was forged by the same ancient vampire race that erected the Pillars (which we’ve seen hinted at when we explored the land and came accross all sorts of old murals).

But now THIS is when the game first impales me through the heart.

Me and Janos are interrupted by the Sarafan warriors who arrive carrying Moebius’ Staff (which disables vampires to the point of being barely able to move at all).

And of course! OF COURSE! Of course the moment my boy Raziel finds a truly positive influence in his life to guide and enlinghten him, and that was willing to put himself in danger in order to save him… he is axed! HEART RIPPED FROM HIS CHEST!

And by whom you ask? Who would do such a deed and kill my last ray of hope?

WHY, ME! 

TWICE!

“Me” because I was the one to open an entrance to Janos’ up until then impenetrable retreat, and literally me: human Raziel of the Sarafan that lived during this time period and was head inquisitor!

A bit different from what was depicted back at the Sarafan Stronghold, we found several centuries later (putting the same image here again so you don’t have to scroll up to compare, am I swell or what?):

The Sarafan escape with Janos’ heart and the Reaver, while wraith Raziel has a final moment with Janos. 

This part destroys me:

Raziel:

“Forgive me; I’m sorry… I failed you.”

Janos: (gently)

“No, Raziel. Perhaps this was my true purpose - simply to save your life this once.”

Raziel: (distraught)

“While I have taken yours…”

That last bit is probably my favourite line-read in the entire series so far (which is the most impossible thing to choose since there are so many great ones). But I think it’s the overwhelming sadness in Raziel’s voice that makes it memorable, you’ve never seen him feel like this for another creature.

Breaks my stone hardened heart every time I listen to it. And here’s why I think it’s an effective emotional scene, even though we only get a few minutes with Janos before he is murdered - it is because of contrast. Up until now everyone you meet is some degree of a bad or manipulative person, and you don’t really have a true friend or someone to confide in, there’s no one that really brings out the best in Raziel and it sucks because there is potential there.  So when you introduce the apparently only decent and noble person in this god forsaken land and you’re so used to by now suspect and mistrust everyone, it is impactful because he was truth and honesty in a sea of deception and moral relativism. He was my light in the midst of the fog and the one who saw good in me. And right when you’re finally relaxing and getting confortable the game pulls the rug from under you.

Now, while on the topic of having your past and future meet, there was a little something about the meeting between Adam and the Universal Church of Truth that I’ve been saving up until now. If you remember, Adam was interrogating the young woman who was killed by the inquisitors about the church and the god they worship. When suddenly:

Good news is, Adam must’ve taken a left turn somewhere and ended up on the set for “Monty Python’s Life of Brian”, where he learned some latin:

This helped him quickly figure out the Magus’ identity:

Learn your dead tongues kids, you never know when it might come in handy when meeting your time travelling, thousands of years old future-self:

So as you can se, we have a similar self-discovery journey going on but reversed in a way. In Raziel’s case you play as his future self, who time travels back in time, meets his past self and sees what a hypocrite he’s been his entire life. In Adam’s case you follow his present self, who meets the Magus (his future self), who has travelled back in time 5.000 years, in which time he has built his empire. Meeting and confronting said empire/future self, leads Adam to see what a hypocrite he’s been his entire life. You see, both Adam and Raziel have always been their own worst enemy (their own shortcomings and character flaws). So it would be only natural that we get embodiments of the worst in them: Raziel, the human Sarafan Warrior and the Magus, their past and future selves respectively.

Oof, this was a long one, and I’ve reach the character limit. In the next post I’ll elaborate more on their characters and different selves; and we go through the roller-coaster of emotions that is the endgame for both these stories.

Look foward to me losing my mind even further while I go into time travelling, paradox shenanigans… oh, and look foward to happier times with COSMIC SUICIDE! See you in the near future.

[fairiesherefairiesthere]

Fraxus Anastasia au #3

Fic under the cut ! Or on ao3 (https://archiveofourown.org/works/23144866/chapters/57301969)

"Yoooo!!!!" Bickslow yells and immediately Laxus ? Yuliy ? gets snapped out of his stupour and pushes himself away from Freed, too aware of how close they had been. He can't shake the feeling of the man's breath hitting his ear like so, the ghost sensations leaving the tips of his ears burning.

"Sup fellas", Bickslow says as he strolls into the room, a woman somewhat reluctantly following him. "I brought an assortiment of snacks that could be classified as a fancy dinner if you aren't all that picky and I'm kind of counting on that." He winks at the both of them before plopping down on some couch and throwing the bag on a table. "Feast my underlings, your king has provided for you."

"I hate you", the woman spits out before turning her glare towards him. "And who is this fool?"

The fool himself would like to know too. With a lazy drawl in his voice, Freed joins the conversation. "His name is Laxus, you might've heard of him." The too large piece of chicken that Bickslow was trying to force into his mouth drops to the floor and the woman raises a single brow. "Right and my name's Evergreen Strauss." Picking the chicken leg back up from the floor, Bickslow points it at her. "I mean, it could be. It ain't that hard to add Strauss to it, all you gotta do is ask your boyfriend to become your h-u-s-b-a-n-d."

"Shut up, he isn't my boyfriend", she snaps before turning her attention back to the blond. "Laxus huh?" He shrugs. "Your friend is trying to sell it to me as well. Currently, I'm not believing him." A single smile slips past her guarded façade. "Good, you shouldn't. He's a pompous piece of shit." While Freed mildly protests her assessment of him in the background, Evergreen shoves Bickslow off the couch and seats herself on it. After extracting the couch from Bickslow, she takes the bag of snacks as well.

Patting on the empty spot next to her, she offers him to sit next to her. "Sit down and have a snack." Turning towards the other two men, she sticks out her tongue. "Bitches don't deserve anything, so don't even bother to ask." (Later on she ends up giving them more than enough.)

"I'm guessing these two have been awfully mean to you."

"No, it's mainly been Freed." The man in question makes an offended noise at this, but Laxus (he likes the name, okay? It's not like it's forbidden to use it. There are people with weirder names out there and he's an orphan so he has the right to choose) isn't done throwing him under the bus. As soon as the next opportunity arrives, he'll do it again.

Evergreen sighs at that and flicks Freed's forehead. 'You rude selfserving bitch, leave people alone." The man in question grumbles a little bit before dramatically flopping down onto the carpet. "Fine then. Oppress me even more." With a gentle smile Evergreen relays the following kind message to him. "Well, with the way you act, you deserve to be."

For a while no one says anything, but Laxus feels more than sees multiple pairs of eyes gliding all over his form. "If there's anything you guys want to say, just spit it out. You're creeping me out with the staring." Awkwardly Bickslow turns his head away as though he hadn't been staring (he's not a very convincing actor). Evergreen however isn't so inclined and continues to look at him, head a bit cocked. "Don't take it personal please, I'm merely assessing how big the chance is that you're our Laxus."

He lets her stare, opting to distract himself by fishing his necklace from shirt and twirling the dainty key attached to it between his fingers, trailing over the letters 'together in Paris' engraved in the tiny thing. The movement catches the attention of the three around him and while Bickslow is busy chocking on his chicken leg, Freed gives the other two a smug glance. "Shut up", Evergreens snaps before he can even opens his mouth, but the young man can't help but shrug cheekily. "Alright Ever dearest." At the open mockery, she decides to try suffocating him with a pillow. She doesn't succeed but the scene does draw a smile from Laxus.

After the bout of tomfoolery, Evergreen plops back unto the couch and shoos Laxus off it. "Fellas", she says addressing Bickslow and Freed more than him. "Tomorrow we'll be starting our journey to Paris. What do we do with him?" This time, she does address him, eyes boring into his soul.

"What does he want?" Freed hummed, faux-nonchalance painted across his figure. "Not that it really matters, I mean, our fourth train ticket is for prince Laxus and this young man says he isn't him. We can't take him  with us", the man says, checking his nails and refusing to even spare Laxus a glance. The way he talks over him as  though he isn't there grates on his nerves and he grits his teeth together. "I am him, that's what you said. Or are you going to take back your words now?"

"I am convinced, but are you?" The man's grin is infuriatingly patronizing and he tuts a bit at Laxus as though he's a child unable to make his own decisions. "I am the prince, alright? So my dearest subject", he smiles, spite colouring his words, "Shut the fuck up."

Holding his hands up as though Laxus' reaction wasn't perfectly reasonable, Freed sighs. "Oh prince of my heart, please do control your emotions. Such a blatant display of discontent is quite unsightly." Snorting, Evergreen gives Laxus a few pats on his shoulder. "I like you, please continue pissing him off. You're a good one Laxus."

Rolling his eyes, Freed lays down on the discoloured carpet beside the couch. "Our dearest future tsar is indeed quite lovely. I'm sure I'll dream of nothing but him", Freed taunted, eyes dragging across Laxus' entire form, a wicked grin playing along his lips. When their eyes inevitably met, Freed dragged out the words, "Nothing but my dearest prince", obnoxiously popping the 'p'. "Goodnight!" the man wished him with a wide, insincere smile before he wished Evergreen and Bickslow the same, fondness turning both his expression and voice kinder. It was a bummer that he couldn't be decent to Laxus like that. Wasn't that something akin to a capital crime?

"We'll be leaving early tomorrow morning, so you should try to catch some shut-eye as well", Bickslow explains before crashing right on top of Freed, who lets out a disgruntled little "oof". Evergreen curls up on the couch and Laxus awkwardly scans the room from his position on the floor. With a tired sigh he lays down unto the carpet as well, leaving a few feet between himself and the mass of limbs that's Freed and Bickslow. He doesn't want to get entangled with that.

Waking up, Laxus instinctively knows he's failed his resolution from the previous day. He's utterly engulfed in warmth and despite the hair in his mouth that's most definitely not his own, he decides to simmer in the heat for a while. Unused to the sensation, he draws the heatsource closer. In return his personal heater hums a little before tightening his arms around Laxus.

The little detail that throws him off though, is the insistent snickering around him. Reluctantly he opens his eyes and after blinking a few times to adjust to the light he looks at the being entrapping him.

It's Freed, because of course it is the most aggravating bastard on this unholy earth that has decided to interrupt his perfectly peaceful sleep. "Bitch", he mutters before looking up to meet the curious gazes of Bickslow and Evergreen. "Now that's a bit uncalled for baby", Bickslow judges and Laxus ignores him in favour of collecting a pillow from the couch. "It's time for him to wake up too, right?" Evergreen gives him a slight nod, but removes herself from the scene. He really should've thought harder about his following actions, especially considering that Bickslow scoots backwards too.

With an unforgiving force he brings the pillow in the direction of the greenhaired man's head. However, the two do not connect as Freed's eyes spring open and with a combination of both grace and brute force, he grabs Laxus by the arm and throws him over him, making him slam  into the corner of the nearby table.

"Ah fuck, sor-" As soon as he notices who exactly it is he attacked, he stops mid-apology. An infuriating smirk plasters itself onto his face instead. "Dear prince, as you can see I'm a jack of all trades." Leaning against his side, the man lets his fingers skips across Laxus' shoulders, whispering: "I'll protect all of this for you, everything inch from head to toe." Laxus tries to swat him away but the bastard proves to be annoyingly strong. He ends pushing against a cheek that feels surprisingly soft to distance himself from Freed.

"Boys, if you could stop fondling each other for a minute, we have to catch a train", Evergreen remarks dryly and Bickslow cuts in, "and breakfast, preferably. I'd kill for a meal."

"Then do it", Freed says, eyes wide open. "Human flesh is-" Laxus takes it upon himself to silence him by gagging him with his arm. Dragging the struggling man along, he nods at Evergreen. "Let's go", he says and sighs wearily. He's already regretting this.

Eventually he has to let go of Freed, because dragging a man along in that manner is a bit suspicious and he isn't looking to be arrested. Thanks to what probably is divine intervention, the man has decided to shut his wicked mouth for now. Instead he's letting his gaze slip over their surroundings, letting it hover at certain foodstalls. The overall expression of his face is inconspicious, innocent even with his slightly parted pink lips and youthful glow. But in the depths of his eyes swirl wayward lights and Laxus shivers. Who knows what this man is truly capable of?

Soon, he gets a demonstration of Freed's slightly shadier sides. Although he has to admit it's nothing he hasn't done himself and that Freed's probably not the only crook at work at this market. Approaching one of the vendors with a bright smile, Freed draws the man into a discussion about his wares. Are they the truly the best in town, as his sign says and other useless questions.

Provoked by the questions, the man offers Freed a sample, boasting about his quality. Freed nods along as the man explains the process of making the bread, interjecting with questions here and there. As the vendor launches into from one passionate speech into the other, Freed puts his nimble fingers to work.

It's the nonchalance of his actions that truly baffle Laxus. He doesn't even try to hide his actions, he casually swipes goods here and there and to top it all off? The vendor doesn't notice. At all. As someone who's gotten beaten quite a lot for getting caught pickpocketing, he's envious of the whole ordeal.

After purchasing a single slice of lemon cake and bidding the vendor goodbye, Freed returns to them. "I got you lot some breakfast, want it now or on the train?" Laxus' stomach rumbles at that very moment and as the tips of his ears colour slightly red, Evergreen doesn't spare him his dignity and gives a light chuckle. "Although circumstances", she glances at Laxus and he glares back, "seem to demand we have breakfast now, I'd advise to wait until we can sit down. I think it would make for a far more pleasing experience, right?"

Agreeing with her, they continue their walk. "Do you always gather your breakfast in that manner?" Laxus asks Freed and the man shrugs. "Is it of any importance dear prince? Is being fed not enough for your royal highness?"

"I'm wondering if you guys don't even have enough money to eat...How the hell are we going to get to Paris?" Freed's mouth falls open in a surprised 'o' shape and he covers it with his hand. "Oh my...there's some form of intelligence there after all", he gasps in faux-surprise.

As he moves to swipe at the guy, Freed swiftly stops him by shoving the lather large remnant of his slice of lemon cake into Laxus' mouth. Gross. That thing's been in the other man's mouth. He doesn't hesitate to voice his thoughts, but does throw in a little thank you because he had been hungry and contrary to other people, he knows what manners are.

"No problem", Freed says, voice honeyed and sweet. "The knowledge that you are enjoying your stolen goods, brings me the greatest happiness my dear prince!" Laxus swipes at him again and Freed dodges by smoothly skipping forwards. When he looks back and sees Laxus indignant face and puffed up cheeks, he lets out a laugh that sounds surprisingly close to genuine.

[golddaggers]

Switch

Reader x Kol Mikaelson

(NOT MY GIF)

*requested

Imagine: You had just been transformed into a vampire and commited your first kill, which induced you to turn off your emotions in order to help you cope. Yet, being so close to the Mikaelson family, they would not allow you to stay that way for long. However, despite how hard they try, the only one who manages to break down your walls is Kol Mikaelson.

Warnings: lights descriptions of torture, mostly fluff and swearing. no biggie. 

Word Count: 2503

I fell onto the cold, hard ground, finally realising what I had done. Blood was spilt across my face and my body, proving it was not just some twisted dream fabricated by my mind to punish me for becoming a vampire; no, I had actually killed all those people. Their limp forms were scattered throughout the dark room, their necks broken due to my brutally. A growing pain took over me, leading to a strangled, loud gasp to crawl out of my lips. The guilt was too much for me to overcome it so easily.

“Y/N?” A deep, somehow soft too, male voice cut through the devastating silence. “What happened here?”

“I murdered them.” I managed to blurt out, tears already streaming down my warm, red cheeks. “I was angry, scared, hungry. I-I couldn’t control myself, Kol. I just couldn’t.”

“Oh baby.” He whispered in a soothing tone, one I did not deserve. “I hate to see you like that! It was a mistake. You’re new, it happens.”

“No, no, no. I ripped these people from their lives. I shouldn't… I can’t!”

“Y/N, listen to me!” My eyes were screwed shut, yet, the salty teardrops kept descending, reaching my bottom lip. “Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“Turn it off.” Someone else said, coming from behind Kol. “You don’t have to suffer because of this. Just turn it off.”

“Are you insane, mate?” The tall, brown haired man yelled, obviously mad at the proposition. “She’s not going to do this!”

Damon smirked, tilting his head slightly, whilst graciously leaning against a covered with scarlet blood wall. Although it was a entirely crazy idea, my Salvatore friend had a point. Turning my emotions off could be really helpful, for it would rule out of the game all distractions. It would help me develop as a vampire. Plus, if I experience even one more ounce of this crushing pain I have inside now, I would surely break.  

For one second I felt everything rushing through me, every bit of feeling, like pure energy was flowing inside my veins, and then it was over. I did not feel a thing. Not guilt, not sadness. Absolutely nothing. Solely void was left behind.

“Y/N, please tell me you didn't…”

A bright, wide smile curled my lips, revealing there was nothing that the mighty Mikaelson could do, except enjoy this new side of me.

“I did, honey bunch.” I winked at him, getting back on my own feet. “Now, if you excuse me, I have a few business to solve.”

“You’re not going anywhere.” Kol stated, grasping my wrist and forcing me to stay where I was. “And Damon, you better disappear before I have the chance to rip your heart out.”

Those words said, it took less than a split  second for the plain white room to get suddenly crowded. Stefan and Elena went to Damon’s side, gently clutching his arms, assuring he would stay in place; yet, they did not come alone, for Rebekah, Klaus and Elijah rapidly approached their reckless sibling as well. I sighed, starting to get utterly bored from this whole situation.

Klaus cleared his throat, moving one step ahead and shooting a fierce look towards the Salvatores. He was obviously not happy to be seeing this horrific scene.

“Alright, who is going to explain what has happened here​?”

“Why was Kol threatening Damon?” The brown haired doppelgänger quizzed, quirking an eyebrow. “I thought we had decided to call a truce. For Y/N’s sake.”

“He pushed Y/N into turning off her emotions.” The younger Mikaelson brother said, narrowing his eyes and still keeping me under his tight grip. However, even though this dialogue was annoying as hell, I could not care less about what was on the verge of happening. “Is it enough or you fellas need me to find another reason to be mad at the glorious Damon Salvatore?”

“You mean she…” Rebekah’s voice died out before she finished her sentence and her sibling replied with a weak nod. Man, those people were simply pathetic! “Let’s go home, then. We need to get Y/N back as soon as possible.”

Ultimately, I pushed Kol’s hand away from my upper arm and went to the centre of the room, staring each person standing in there. They had quickly formed a circle around me, perhaps thinking they could avoid my escape. Fools.

I chuckled, sustaining their strong glances at me and crossing my arms on my chest.

“Uh, if I may have a say on my own life, I don’t want to turn back on. I’m actually feeling pretty good the way I am.”

“I’m sorry, love, but you have no idea what you want right now.”

“Out of everyone, Klaus, I really thought you would appreciate this new version of me.” Licking my lips, I walked smoothly to where the Hybrid was whilst hearing everyone’s breathing hitch on their respective throats. “I was obviously wrong.”

“No, darling, you were wrong to get closer enough for me to this.”

Then Klaus, piecing his blue eyes on my own, got hold of my neck, his hands soft on the skin he grasped; sharing one last look, he swiftly twisted it, killing me where I stood. Yet, even though darkness engulfed me pretty quickly, I still formed one last thought: the blond Hybrid was totally right.

The room I woke up to was bright. And amazingly beautiful. Like it belong to a king. Or a queen. Its walls had a miscellaneous set of colours while the expensive furniture was perfectly positioned, like it had been made to that exact spot. The whole thing was simply perfect. However, whatever amazingness I should have been caught into, it was broken the second I realised I was chained up. Urgh, why couldn’t they just let me go? This is so boring!

“She’s awake.” Rebekah muttered, swinging the tall white doors open. “Hello, Y/N.”

“Oh, hello, munchkin.” An ironic smirk lied carelessly on my lips. “Such a nice day, isn’t it?”

“I definitely hate turned off Y/N.” She rolled her eyes, annoyed, yet, I could still see sadness playing on her gorgeous traits. “Come on. I want to try it first.”

“Poor Rebekah, always trying to save the ones she loves.” I said, staring at her emotionlessly. It was odd, though, for the memories of our friendship were still fresh in my mind.  I was not able to care, though. “Don’t you get tired?”

The blonde soaked a small blade in a transparent, thin liquid, right before she dug it into me. I could sense the stinging pain, yet, it was not enough. I smiled faintly at her failed attempt to flip the switch back on.

“Try harder, Bekah!” It was teasing. Oldest trick in the world to get people mad. The ones who cared, anyway. “Come on! Fight for me.”

“God, you are such a spoilt brat!” The original snarled, burying the knife deep within my flesh. “Why don’t you obey, for once, the elders?”

“Enough, sister.” Klaus put his hand on her shoulder, stopping her to go any further. “Let me handle it. I might have a better chance.”

“Uh, I feel so especial! The mighty Hybrid caring for me.” A maniac smile changed my traits, giving it a crazy gleam, as he took his sister’s place, removing the blade afterwards. “Well, I should, shouldn’t I? I don’t. I feel nothing. Or does boredom count?”

“Look at me, Y/N.” I raised my chin, defying him by fixating my eyesight on his. “Now pay attention: you are loved. By everyone in this family. We would risk everything for you. Do anything. You’re a Mikaelson just as much as I am. Why don’t you try for us? Me, Rebekah, Elijah, Kol…”

“Really, Niklaus? That’s the trick you are using? Trying to make me feel like I belong?”

“You do belong, Y/N.” He stroke my cheek, his slim fingers tracing my cheekbones. “You are family. Come back to your family.”

“Nah, I don’t think that’ll break me.”

Klaus allowed a tired exhale to slip, shaking his head. I could bet he thought this was going to be easy: just appeal to her loyalty towards her family and she’ll be right back on track. Not exactly, Nik. I bit my bottom lip to avoid a sneer laugh. .

“Don’t make it so difficult, sweetheart.”

“I wouldn’t if you just let me go.”

“You see, darling, that’s not happening. You either flip back on or flip back on. There’s no other possibility.”

“Now what is it? Rage? Or is it pity? Doesn’t matter. It won’t do the trick, Niklaus.”

My last remark had done it for the Hybrid, because the anger within his irises announced what he was going to do next: snap my neck. For the second time. It must be my lucky day.

Simply marvellous!

“Are you awake now, love?” Someone questioned, tenderly massaging my arms, bringing me to a rather spinning reality. I blinked quickly, adjusting to the new found darkness. “Are you okay?”

“I am fine. Perfectly fine.” My voice sounded hoarse, probably due to the hours I spent “asleep”.”I imagined you would be their last resource. The reckless Mikaelson. My boyfriend, or is it ex? I don’t quite know.”

“Oh dear, it’s going to take a lot more than a humanity switch off for you to get rid of me.” He chuckled, bitterly. “I didn’t come here to convince you that this is wrong. I’m afraid you already are aware of it.”

“Then what?” I whispered, fighting against the tiredness. It was getting harder and harder to not feel anything. The emotions were scraping the walls of my head, crawling back to where they belonged. Nevertheless, I would not allow them to surface it. No. Never. “What do you want, mighty Mikaelson? Torture me some more? See if you, out of everyone, can make me flip back on?”  

“Nah, I just want to talk to you.”

“Care to be more specific, sweetheart?”

“I want to tell you a story.” He clarified in a smooth tone, his lips dangerously close to mine. His mint scented breath fanning all over my face, making me want to kiss him, to taste that mouth. Urgh. “About a relationship I had in the past.”

“Oh, I see. You do want to bore to death.”

“Quit being a brat and listen!”

“Fine.” A soft sigh escaped as I nodded, agreeing. “Go on.”

“Before I met you, I was madly in love with this girl called Davina Claire. Damn,  she was perfect! In every way.” Kol paused, swallowing thickly; perhaps he was struggling with the memories of his old ex girlfriend. “However, when she brought me back to life, it came with a price. I was cursed with an unbearable thirst. I tried to resist! It was worthless, for in the end, she died by my hand. And, God, it hurt like hell! I mean, I had lost the only thing that had ever made me feel something. I killed the only person that had ever touched my soul.”

“Is this supposed to be touching?”

“Oh come on, I’m not finished.”

“Proceed, then. At least it keeps me distracted from this knife buried in my skin.”

“I beg your pardon.” The brown haired Mikaelson smiled, gently, and pulled the blade off, winning a relieved gasp from me. Klaus must have put in back on to keep my blood flowing. “Now, as I was saying, I had lost everything. My magic. My Davina. Then I was bitten by Marcel and put into a slumber.”

“Didn’t you ever live? All your stories end with you in boxes.” The statement slipped and I widened my eyes, surprised. I did not care, why should I be asking stuff?

“I blame Nik for that, but you are right. My life kind of sucked and with Davina gone, it all became pointless again. That was when you, my tiny witty human, showed up.”

“I’m not tiny. Nor witty. Not even human.”

He laughed, clearly amused.  

“Yes, you’re still tiny and witty. For me anyway. And I love you. So much.”

“Can’t do anything about it.” I shrugged clumsily, still restrained by the chains soaked in vervain. “This is ridiculous, don’t you see? All of you? I won’t get my feelings back.”

Kol, suddenly, cupped my cheeks, his eyes filled with everything mine lacked. It was hard to sustain the intimate exchange of looks, for tears began to well up on that chocolate sea. If I kept staring, I knew I was not going to be able to resist any longer.

“I don’t want to lose you too, Y/N. You’re the only good thing in my life right now and I can’t afford it. I won’t let you destroy yourself because of a reckless mistake. Because I wasn’t around to teach you.”

I chewed my bottom lip, finally caving in and feeling the energy of my emotions flooding back in. All of it. Pain, guilt, rage, love. Love! I had hurt so many people I loved! How dared I say so many hurtful things to them?

Salty teardrops fell down my cheeks with the realisation of the evil I had performed in the time I spent off. No one should forgive me for what I did or said. I was not worthy of it. A cry rumbled in my chest as I absorbed, bit by bit, the enormous acheness from my previous actions.

“Baby?”

“I’m so s-sorry, my love.” Those words came out mingled, stuttered, strangled. I closed my eyes, avoiding the silky, reassuring look I got from my boyfriend when I voiced a coward apology. What good have I done to have someone so sweet to look after me like him? “The pain… It took over me. Made me do things. I thought I was going to break!”

“Hush, sweetheart.” His warm digits silenced me, resting against my mouth delicately. “First let me get you out of these chains.”

“How can you trust me, Kol?”

“We’ve been together for a while now and I got to know your eyes, those sweet Y/E/C eyes, very well. I know when you’re lying.” He broke the iron that held me up, which lead to a clumsily stumble, for I was unable to stand on my feet properly. The brown eyed Mikaelson picked me up, carefully placing me on his toned arms as if I weighed nothing. “Thank you for coming back to me. I don’t what I’d do without you.”

“Oh, Kol.” A goofy sigh slipped. “I will always come back to you.”

“Always?”

“Always.”

Afterwards, a smirk still enlightening his traits, he stole a kiss from my lips. It was just a peck, yet, it made me feel warmer. Of course my guilt, self loathing, hate, the whole package, remained, nonetheless Kol managed to shake it all off, forcing me to concentrate on the present and, for now, that was all I needed.