#i hope you forgive me / for cursing our lives / men like me can’t help but follow where love leads

[firewoodfigs]

wdym i should be sleeping i’m writing songs at midnight 😭 (lyrics in the tags heehee no prizes for guessing who it’s about) (i am so normal about this stupid ass crybaby and this stupid ass ship)

[the-void-writes]

Favorite Lines Game

Thanks @darlingsmoon for the tag! No pressure, as always, but I’d love to see @muddshadow @bloodlessheirbyjacques @magefaery and @jess-p-edits share their favorite lines 😊

Rule: Share some out-of-context lines from your wip that you love.

(I’ve posted a bit of this scene before, but I kind of love Jason’s shifts in persona as he deals with Will, his employees, and his patients.)

--------------------------------------------------------------

“Please, Will, I can’t lose you again.”

With no other options, Will sprinted out of the chamber. He looked back once more, hoping that Jason would call him back, heartbroken when he didn’t. The boy disappeared into the darkness with a sob. When there was no longer any sign of his presence, Jason collapsed against the counter and buried his head in his hands. Rio tried to pat his shoulder, but Jason smacked his hand away.

“Don’t even think about it. You knew this whole time.”

The glare Jason gave him, though full of tears, could have struck a man dead. Rio wasn’t one to be easily intimidated, especially by someone as meek as Jason. He had seen the man’s more vulnerable side, his soft nature and timidness that made him stand out in a building full of dull husks. And yet, in that moment, Rio did everything in his power to stand his ground without trembling under Jason’s gaze.

“Jay, I’m sorry.”

“Get out, you and your men.”

“But—”

“Now!”

Rio sprinted out of the room with his soldiers. Jason then turned his attention to the two guards next to him. He pointed at Vesely on the floor.

“Stick him in the infirmary. We’ll deal with him later.”

They nodded in unison. “Yes, sir.”

“Jason,” Vesely breathed, “you did the right thing—”

“Shut your damn mouth. I don’t want to hear anything you have to say.”

“But—”

“No, Gabe, there are no excuses. You’re dead to me.”

Vesely shut his mouth, resigning himself as the guards dragged him away. Jason leaned back against the counter and held himself. Part of him wanted to go find Will, to walk out of this cursed building and return to his friends… but even if he could, the man they knew had changed. He couldn’t forgive himself if he hurt them like he hurt Vesely. He didn’t want to be the next Isaiah.

A hand fell on Jason’s shoulder, as did six more. He looked up at his patients, all scuffed up from the fighting, and started to cry.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “This isn’t what I wanted for you. I had no idea they were—”

“It’s okay,” Jin said. “We don’t blame you.”

“Where’s Will?” Colin asked.

Jason closed his eyes. “I sent him back to his family.”

“But— Why?”

“I’ve already helped Gabe ruin your lives. I couldn’t bear to do the same to Will.”

Colin shook his head. “Jason, you didn’t ruin our lives.”

“Not one bit.” Thomas said. “You’ve helped us so much, sir. We wouldn’t have made it very far without you.”

Jason sighed. “You all deserve better. I hate keeping you here, but if I let you outside, you’ll go right back to your old families. I can’t lose you kids, I just can’t…”

The kids gathered closer to hug him, and he tried his best to hold them all.

“We understand, sir,” Sarah said. “The people out there aren’t ready for us. I don’t care if Vesely wants us to be soldiers. This is our home, because you’re here.”

Jason let himself cry. “Thank you. I’ll make this place a better home, I swear on it.”

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Fully Complete 6

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape (series), violence, mutual irritation, harassment, general hatred, allusions to death, toyplay, binding/restraint, whipping.

This is dark!Loki x reader and explicit. 18+ only.  Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Series Synopsis: There’s a new face in Birch and he’s come to haunt your door.

Sister series to Smalltown Bringdown, When the Weight Comes Down, and Little Bones

Note: Think we got one chapter left after this one but don’t worry, we will eventually have more Birch beyond that.

Thanks to everyone for their patience and feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

Chapter 6: Wait and you'll see

💀💀💀

Your ankle bent for the fifth time as you entered the small county hospital. Loki kept his hand covertly on your elbow after you jabbed him several times in the ribs on the drive over and noticed the way your eyes searched around. You couldn’t help it. Even if Jerome’s life was in the balance, you wanted nothing more than to be away from this man; if you could call him one.

The halls were sterile and the bright lights added to the sting in your eyes as you were shown to your brother’s room. A motorcycle accident, the nurse said, but Jerome’s bike was destroyed with everything else in your shop. You knew what happened was far from an accident.

His eyes were closed and tubes ran down his arms and across his face. It was a sobering sight. It reminded you of your father’s last months. You dreaded seeing anyone like that ever again. Even if Jerome was a cowardly weasel, even if he let those men trade you like livestock, he was still your kin and he was all you had left of your father.

You wiggled away from Loki and he let you as he pinched you in warning. You went to Jerome’s bedside and glanced over at your escorts. Korg actually showed an ounce of empathy as he stared at the bed.

“Can I have some privacy?” you snarled.

“We’ll be right outside. Don’t think of trying anything,” Loki reproached.

“I just want to be alone with my brother,” you curled your lip, “not everything is about you.”

You waited until you stepped out and you leaned on the bed rail. He looked so frail just laying there with machines pumping life into him. The nurse said he might wake up but they were still waiting. The only good news she had was that the surgery on his spine was successful.

“I don’t forgive you,” you whispered, “I never will but I love you.”

Your eyes pricked and you rolled them to force away the tears. The machines beeped and fanned. You shook your head and gave a grim smile.

“I want to ask how we got here but we know. We knew life would be like this. Daddy said it would. He knew you were gonna be a club man like him and he told you to hold onto your soul. He’d be so disappointed.” You sighed, “Do you know what that man is doing to me? What he’s gonna do?”

You looked away and huffed. You were angry, hurt, but not broken. Not yet.

“I can’t stop him, I know that,” you confessed quietly as you reached for his hand, “I was stupid to think I was different from those other girls. To think I’m above them. No, these men are all the same and we just gotta deal with it.”

You swallowed and pushed yourself up.

“Yeah, yeah, we know what happened to mama. Same thing’ll happen to me now,” you said, “and you’re gonna go see daddy. I hope he’s at peace, I hope you find that too.”

You turned and wiped your wet eyes. You wouldn’t let Loki see you cry. He wouldn’t have that pleasure. You would play along until you could act. You would pretend that you believed Jerome would live. You would fake, you would take, you would survive.

💀

The car ride was silent as you stared out the window. You were quiet, still. Even as Loki’s fingers wandered to your skirt and played with the fabric, you did nothing. You were tired and fighting wasn’t doing nothing but draining your energy. You leaned back and played with the button of the jacket. The clothes were entirely impractical against the winter.

The main road of Birch passed outside your window and Korg drove by the sidestreet where the Victorian house stood. You saw the moniker with Cleopatra and you didn’t need to ask where you were going. You didn’t even wonder why. You knew.

“You think you can behave?” Loki asked, “for your brother’s sake?”

You turned to him and resisted a snarl. You nodded and tensed as he squeezed your leg.

“Darling, I mean it. You go in there and you show the boys how tame you can be,” he smirked, “show off your new clothes.”

“I got it,” you said through gritted teeth, “but you touch my brother again and I will never stop. I won’t stop until you kill me too.”

He raised his head in triumph and flicked your chin with his finger, “we have an understanding, don’t we, darling?”

You turned and reached for the handle. He let you and followed you out smoothly. He was quick to hook his arm around your waist as Korg led the way to the bar and opened the door ahead of you. You entered and focused on keeping one foot in front of the other as your instinct told you to throttle the man at your side.

Your breath caught in your throat as your vision cleared. Steve sat with his girl and Bucky with that waitress he was fucking. You saw in her eye a feeling you knew well. Her and the mousy one shared that brittle complacency. Your sights narrowed at Bucky as you got closer and time seemed to slow.

When you reached the table, Bucky looked over and stood. He smiled between you and Loki, the amusement plain on his face. You felt the flicker inside of you. You couldn’t hold back as you slipped quickly from Loki’s grasp and around the side of the table. You latched onto the front of his jacket. You hit him across the jaw with your fist and were ready to lay another as someone caught your fist.

The voices rose around you as you kicked out and caught him in the stomach as you were wrenched away. You looked up as you growled a slew of curses and found Steve and Loki both clinging to your arms. You continued to flail.

“You fucking piece of shit,” you grunted, “I swear to fucking God, I’m going to end you!”

“What did I say?” Loki hissed as they tried to rein you in.

Bucky was just as fast as he approached you and drew his gun. You didn’t still even as he aimed the muzzle at you and stared down the barrel. 

“She’s fucking rabid,” Steve uttered, “Christ.”

“Do it, you fucking bastard!” You spat.

There were no thoughts, no fears, only pure rage as you stomped your feet and tried to wriggle free. You glared back at Bucky as the gun hung before him. He exhaled loudly and put it away.

“You gotta put a leash on that bitch,” Bucky said, “I told you it wasn’t going to be easy.”

“Darling,” Loki said as you yanked against his hold, “that’s enough. Surely you didn’t forget so quickly that yours is not the only life in the balance.”

You looked over at him and blinked. You unballed your hands and stilled. You were stiff as the anger tensed your entire body but you tamped it down with effort. The men slowly released you. You peered around as you seethed, the two women at the table watched you in shock but beneath, you saw intrigue.

You raised your hands in surrender and looked at Bucky. Your jaw locked but you forced the words out. “I’m sorry.”

“Huh?” he raised his brows as his own anger receded, “what was that?”

“I’m sorry,” you enunciated, “alright?”

He laughed and looked you up and down dramatically, “didn’t think you’d get this far,” he said to Loki, “she looks like a woman.”

It took everything you had not to try again. You backed away as Loki removed his jacket and you mirrored him. He pulled out a chair and pointed you down with sneer. He sat beside you and rolled his shoulders as he fixed his blazer.

“Apologies for our lateness, we did have to make a detour,” he said, “I promise, I will keep her in line for the rest of the night.”

Bucky poked his cheek with his tongue and sucked his teeth, “you better,” he grinned.

You looked to your lap and unbent your fingers as your nails dug into your palm. You peeked around and caught the eye of Bucky’s girl and for a moment you just stared back. She was pensive and tilted her head before she looked away. You might not be entirely alone.

💀

“I am unimpressed with that scene,” Loki hissed as Korg clung to your arm and angled you up the stairs ahead of them, “but I will give you a choice. Do I punish you or your brother?”

You reached the top and turned down the hallway. You entered the bedroom without resistance as the burly toady kept his grasp on you. You turned with him and watched Loki enter.

“I’m sorry, really. I deserve… punishment. Not him,” you said stiffly as you swallowed. The words were like bile in your throat.

“Oh, darling, that is the smartest thing I’ve heard you say,” he slithered, “Korg, get her clothes off.”

You blinked and looked up at Korg. He returned your gaze doubtfully and glanced back at Loki.

“Sir?” he asked.

“You heard me,” Loki said as he went over the chest of drawers and pulled the top one out, “get her naked and put her on the bed.”

“I can do it myself--”

“No, Korg, do as I say and hold her down,” he turned as he held some leather straps and you scrunched your nose as you tried to decipher all the crisscrossing.

“Sir, I--”

“You know I don’t like to repeat myself and I’ve already done so once,” he snapped, “so do it.”

Korg let you go and you bent quickly to undo your boots. He watched you take them off and you put your back to him, “the zipper,” you said quietly. He pushed it down and you held your arms straight as he tugged the sleeves past your wrists. He jerked you unintentionally as the dress gather at your waist and apologized.

You steeled yourself and stepped out of the fabric as it fell to your ankles. It felt like giving up but it was the only way. It was a means to an end. You bit down as Korg fumbled with your bra and stuttered. You reached back to help him and the cleared his throat.

“Hurry up, you fool,” Loki growled.

Korg hesitated as he pushed down your stockings one at a time and then slipped your panties off your hips. He stood and gripped your arm, lighter than before. You let him move you to the bed and Loki stopped him.

“Raise your foot, darling,” he bent and opened the leather straps. 

You obeyed and he nodded to the other. You lifted your other foot and put it back down. He pulled it up your legs and zipped the harness up to your waist. The leather straps wounded around your pelvis and thighs but offered no cover, just a strap along your cunt. 

“Put her arms back,” Loki demanded as he rose and came around you. He pointed behind you and your wrists were buckled into the cuffs attached to the thickest strap on the harness, your arms bound behind you. “Very good, now on the bed… face down.”

Korg gently guided you down and you wiggled onto the mattress. Loki dismissed him curtly and the door closed, marking a stolid silence. You kept your face away from Loki and tested the resistance of the harness. Even if you could get free, you wouldn’t get far.

“What is the matter, darling?” he taunted as you heard the rustle of fabric.

“You know, trying not to wretch at the thought of you touching me,” you snipped.

“Oh, is that what you think your punishment is?” he mused and the air was cut with the bite of leather before it lashed across your ass, “you’ll be begging for my touch when I’m through.”

You held your breath as he laid another strike and another and your body jostled on the bed with each. You knotted your fingers and every muscle in your body was rigid. You felt the welts rising on your skin but you focused on the pain. It kept you from crying, from thinking. It kept the humiliation from drowning you.

Was it worth it? Could you live with the shame when it was over?”

He stopped as you panted shallowly. He snickered and you heard him moving around again. He tutted and the mattress dipped as he pushed your legs apart. He pulled on the strap along your cunt and slid a smooth, slightly curved object between it and your skin. He tightened the buckle at the back of the harness so that the silicon was snug to your clit.

He poked his finger along it and it began to vibrate. You sucked in your breath as your body responded to the pulsing. He retreated off the bed and you pushed your legs together. That only made the sensation more intense and you tugged desperately at the cuffs as you rolled onto your side.

“It said about twelve hours battery if kept on low,” he said, “just enough to keep you awake but not enough to do much else.”

You bared your teeth as your eyes threatened to roll back and growled. Your feet arched as you bent your legs slightly and tied to shift the vibrator. You crushed your hands as you wiggled onto your back and dug your heels into the mattress.

“I am patient, darling, you’ve helped in that,” he taunted, “but oh, it is worth the wait to see you squirm.”

“Oh, you prick, why don’t you just… get it… over with?” your breaths caught as the toy buzzed against you.

“Where is the fun in that?” he ran his hand down your thigh and you flinched, “and you kept me waiting long enough. You will know the same pain.”

“I fucking hate you,” you sneered as you rocked back and forth and pushed your head back into the bed.

“I know,” he said gleefully, “it makes it all the better.”

[bookishdream]

Could you do a Kaz x reader where the reader have to "cheat on him" (not in relationship but like she goes to another gang) because someone's threatening her and when he discovers she was just trying to protect him and the gang she dies

A/N: Hi! Thank you so much for a request, I've been wanting to write some angst for a really long time! I hope it is as hurtful as you wished, enjoy xx

TW: angst, blood, killing

kaz brekker x reader

Your hands were sweaty and shaking. You crossed your arms on your chest in order to hide that. You didn’t like being threatened, especially by some amateurs. But it wasn’t a threat against you, it was against your family in Novyi Ziem. You had to use your whole will power to not kill them right there and then.

“Why do you think I’d do anything you want me to?” you asked snapping your gaze between a woman and a man in front of you. “You don’t know anything about me and my family you assume I have.”

“Oh, y/n, but we know everything. For instance, your little brother is playing as we talking on your vast field, your parents are watching him with so much love in their eyes,” woman with blonde hair spoke first, describing the scene so vividly that you almost showed an emotion on your face. “maybe they have already forgotten about you? Maybe your mother is pregnant so they could fill a blank you left in their home.”

“Shut up, you think you’re so smart, aren’t you?” you snapped, face blank and mind filling with memories from times when you were as young as your brother was then, playing on the exact same field. “I will never betray Kaz, and you should know that.”

“Oh sweetie,” the guy beside walked closer to you, you made a step, in order to make some distance between you and them. “we’re not asking you to betray him, we’re asking you to leave this silly gang and join us, Pekka Rollins would be really happy if you did.”

“You two are much denser than I thought, if you think I want to make him happy.”

“You don’t have a choice.” Blonde said, making you shiver. “We have someone who would be pleased to kill this little family of yours. I don’t think you want them dead, even though they think you are, in fact, dead.”

You started to think about that. Crows were your friends and you love them. Inej and Nina always found various ways to make you cheerful when your day wasn’t the best, Jesper taught you how to use a pistol and flirted with you like his life depended on it. Wylan was like a sun in rainy days, even if you loved them, you also loved this boy and his stupid jokes. Matthias was funny to tease, he always was saying how awful you and the girls were, but you could also see this little twitch of his lip corner when he tried to suppress his laugh. And there was Kaz, your beginning wasn’t the pleasant one, you nearly killed him when you saw him for the first time, and in revenge he left you in the Barrel for the whole night, all alone. But after that, you started falling for him, and you fell hard. You couldn’t exactly point out when that happened, but you were sure you’d anything to save him from himself. He had tough personality, he cared only for money and how he could invest it to get the whole city only for himself. But he let you do that with him, barley sleeping and when you did it was in the same bed. Arm-length gap but you always were less exhausted than when you were sleeping in your own bed. You loved him and the rest of the Crows, but you loved your family more. And you knew what you had to do.

“Bitch.” You murmured. “Fine, whatever. Just stay the hell out of my family. And the gang.”

“We knew you’d make a right decision. Pekka will send money to Per Haskell in order to buy your contract. You won’t regret that.”

“I already do.”

After that day, you were about to start living with your new gang, family, like Pekka had said to you the previous day, he’d also told you to not worry about your parents and brother, that they were safe as long as you were working with him, willingly.

You wouldn’t call this willingly, but you guessed it was enough to prevent your family from any harm coming from Pekka and his stupid gang. You hated being here, you missed the Crow Club, late night talks with Inej and Nina, and helping Kaz with buying new ships. You wanted nothing more than to escape, but you couldn’t. Kaz and Crows could fight and kill, whereas your family was vulnerable, they couldn’t even hurt a fly. You spent the whole evening in your empty room. Window with grids making you shiver, you felt like a prisoner you were.

“We have a job for you.” The blonde girl who captured you came in, like it was her cell, not yours. “Behave and perhaps we’ll get rid of those grids.”

You wanted to punch her, you didn’t even know her name, it wasn’t even relevant, your hand was itching. You took a long, calming breath and looked at her, frowning. “I thought it was another week until you’d trust me enough to even open my window.”

“You’ve been here for two weeks. Plans have changed, we need you right now, so cut the attitude and come with me.”

You rolled your eyes and went after her, going up the stairs and leaving the place Pekka’s gang lived. You took another deep breath, smelling the awful scent of Ketterdam, smoke and money as Kaz used to say. Gods, you missed him.

“Where are we going?” you asked, falling into step with the girl, there were only the two of you, you assumed the rest will be somewhere where you were going. “What’s the job?”

“Can’t you just shut up? You’ll know when we’re there.”

You really wanted to punch her, still you said nothing, you wouldn’t get anything from her. It was dark on the city’s streets, buildings high enough to cover the moon, didn’t let its shine to light up the roads. You were annoyed and cold, your hair was swaying with the wind, goose bumps poking on your skin.

“Here.” Blonde said, handing you a pistol. “If you kill someone from ours, you’re dead before you take your last breath.”

You rolled your eyes, hiding your gun into the pocket of a coat you had. The metal was cold, making your hands even colder than they were before. Now when you had a real gun, not only your knife, perhaps you’d be able to escape. But where would you go? You were sure Kaz knew where you were, perhaps thinking you betrayed him, that thought only made you feel guilty in your guts, he trusted you and you chose people who you hadn’t seen for years over him. You had to escape, the cost didn’t matter.

When you came to the place, you saw a guy from Pekka’s gang and Kaz. Both of them were talking, but members of both groups had their guns or blades taken out. The Dirtyhands had his black coat, and his walking stick, as always. Jesper also was beside him, hands on his gun belt, ready to take them out and fire. You were more than sure that Inej was also there, somewhere on the roof or in the shadows, waiting and prepared to fight.

“We have men everywhere, two on roofs, one behind the bridge. All of them have guns pointed on you and your previous friends. I hope you know what that means.” The girl said, eyeing you. You only nodded, worrying too much about the Crows to even snap at her. “Good, now go and wait for a signal.”

You did as you were told, you hid somewhere behind a building, trying to recall every piece of information you gathered while snooping on guards or using the fact that they didn’t always close your doors. You had to find someone and tell them, you couldn’t waste any more time.

You poked your head out, searching for Matthias or Wylan. You doubted Nina would be here, since she was still working in the pleasure house. You were sure Wylan was there with his explosion ready to, well, explode. You cursed under your breath, when you couldn’t spot any of them, panic getting out of you with frustration. Someone from the Dime Lions would notice you’re not somewhere where they could spot you.

You crossed the narrow lane, as you noticed Matthias, you whistled hoping he would look into your direction. He turned his head and spotted you, anger on his face visible even in the dark. You cringed, knowing you’d get beaten up.

“You’ve got some nerve,” He said, his voice low. “after you started working with them, you have the audacity to come here.”

“Listen, I didn’t have a choice,” your voice so close to start begging him for forgiveness. “It was about my family.”

He looked at you wordlessly, confusion painting his face. Of course, he didn’t know you had a family, why would he. After a second, the ire came again. “You’re lying.”

“I'm not, I want to help you.”

“Oh, so now you did that to help us?”

“Matthias, I’m begging you, just let me tell you what I learnt.” You pleaded, your voice small. “Pekka wants to kill you as you’re standing, he has those new guns that can shoot you from really long distance.”

“What?” he looked alarmed, “We have to tell Kaz. Come.”

You let out a breath, it wasn’t the best look he sent you, but at least he didn’t leave you here. You told him everything you knew, he listened but his face still didn’t have pleasant expression.

You took out your gun, making your way behind the dumpster, hiding in shadows. You tried to calm your nerves, but the adrenaline had already kicked in. Matthias and you startled when you heard a shot, then another. You sent yourselves a knowing look, taking a step closer to the place where Kaz and the other guy were talking. Jesper had his guns out and Kaz was looking at the boy in front of him with disgust. You saw one of the Dregs were bleeding, you lifted your gun, targeting the closest one from the Dime Lions and fired. The bullet hit the girl in her stomach, making her stumble and fall to the ground. You hid yourself behind the wall and waited. Matthias sent you a look and you only lifted your arms, not knowing what to said.

After that, guns started firing, screams were everywhere. You saw the blonde girl that came here with you, standing with her pistol, aiming Kaz. You shot without looking, trying to hit her in an arm, you heard her scream and saw how the gun was laying on a ground. You looked up and saw that Kaz was looking at you, his face blank and unreadable. Jesper beside him, shooting people and screaming at Wylan to explode. The sound of explosion came from the roof, exactly where members of Lions were, you let out a shaky breath and made a step into the fight. Matthias fighting with his fists, slowly making his way toward Kaz, you tried to help him clear the path by shooting few people either in their heads or legs.

Your hands were tired, your head pounding but you were fighting hard, you had to make this in order to confess Kaz the whole truth. When you were close to him, he locked his eyes into yours.

“We have to talk.” You told him, lowering your tone. “Please.”

“This is not the best time to talk, y/n” the way he said your name made you shivered. It wasn’t an intimate way, it was with so much poison in only one word. “Why aren’t you fighting with your new gang?”

“Kaz, please, I’m trying to help.” You voiced, your eyes burning with sweat that slowly dripped from your forehead.

“Whatever.” He smacked an opponent with his cane, you only heard the sound of cracked bone and a loud thud when the enemy fell to the ground.

You two were fighting as you had before Pekka came into your life. Kaz understood you without any words, knew exactly where he should cover you because you couldn’t. Your movements were precise, keeping people away from Kaz’s vulnerable leg. You were fighting in a harmony, you kept your focus on people you had to kill, you shot them without any hesitation. When your bullets ended, you took out your knife and started stabbing everyone who wanted to stab you.

“I– “you paused, feeling a pain in your abdomen. You looked at Kaz, but he was looking at your lower stomach, you placed your gaze there and you saw blood. A lot of blood, then you felt pain, you stumbled, but Kaz placed his hand on your waist, slowly letting you fall on the ground. Your whole stomach was on fire, slowly burning you with its flame.

“Don’t you even dare dying here, messing my coat with your blood” he said, caressing your cheek. You chuckled, tasting blood on your tongue. “Don’t even think about it, y/n.”

“I’m–, please forgive me, Kaz” you murmured, hoped your words were understandable. “I was trying to save my family, but you’re my family too.”

“Y/n, I forgive you, but I’m begging you, don’t close your eyes” his voice filled with regret, eyes burning with anger, but you knew it wasn’t toward you. “Keep your eyes open.” He yelled at someone, but you couldn’t understand either it was Jesper or Matthias.

“Tell them I love them” you started to give up, your eyelids slowly closing. “I love you, Kaz Brekker.”

“Y/n, please don’t leave me” he tried to keep his voice from cracking, but he failed.

But you didn’t hear that, you had your eyes closed, hand that was laying on your stomach, now laying on the ground. He carefully removed his arm and got up. He spotted a blonde girl, smirking and looking at him, she slowly lifted her pistol, mockingly swaying it. She winked at him and still with a smirk, she left. Kaz made a promise he would kill her, he would do it for him. And for you.

[writersmorgue]

Something Immortal

word count - 3k

warnings: suicide attempt, drug use, addiction, cursing, teenagers being gross

pairing: model!Todoroki x canon!Bakugo

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Holy shit guys he posted!!" Mina squeals, vaulting herself over the couch to reach the rest of the Bakusquad sitting on the common room carpet. An old original copy of Monopoly splayed out in the center of their group.

"Ooh, show us! Show us!" Kaminari leans forward, swiping half of the properties off the board in the process.

Sero groans, "Dude you do this every time!!"

The blond pouts, "Hey it's your fault I was losing."

Kirishima just chuckles, picking up his dog piece from jail and throwing it into the box.

"Your smart people game can wait," Mina tugs on Sero's ponytail, "He hasn't posted in weeks."

"Oh my god he's so fucking hot," Kaminari's knee-jerk reaction is whispered as soon as he sees the post.

Todoroki Shouto, one of Japan- and America's- most well-known models. The teenager, who happens to be their age, regularly models for magazines like Vogue, Joker, and Elle. The teenager who has starred in countless American and Japanese short and independent films. The teenager who just so happens to be the son of the number one hero, Endeavor.

No one knows his quirk, but it just adds to the mystery. Some people theorize he's quirkless, but others think he's got a crazy dangerous quirk, which is why he's a model instead of an aspiring hero. Not like he's not perfect for the job, with his gorgeous bi-colored hair and heterochromatic eyes. The scar on his left side somehow only adds to his beauty. It doesn't matter what your sexuality is, you simp for Todoroki Shouto.

But that's the obvious, now this photo- this photo.

"It's ethereal, I've never seen him look so serene before."

"He's an actual angel."

"How is he only eighteen?!"

Mina nods as Sero, Kaminari, and Kirishima go through the seven stages of grief just looking at the photo.

Kirishima's eyes dart to Todoroki's username... which is just Shouto. In fact, the Todoroki name isn't mentioned once on his account, a fact that has hundreds of conspiracy theories on its own.

"Hey Meens, can we stalk him real quick? I wanna see who he's following."

She grins, "Well anything for you, munchkin."

Sero snorts. Their couple nicknames never fail to amuse anyone within hearing range.

"Ugh gross," Kaminari gags as Mina giggles, swiping off of the picture (which already has over 600,000) and onto his main page.

It's simple, plain yet elegant in the way only a PR manager could manage.

The bio is a link to his most recent shoot with some magazine that Kirishima doesn't recognize, the profile picture is a rare shot of him smiling, a blue checkmark, and a follower count of over four million.

His following count, however, is the shocker.

"He only follows fourteen people?" Sero whispers, clicking on the number.

"Huh," Mina turns the phone slightly so she can see, "Who is he following?"

"Let's see," Sero squints, eyes scrolling down the list, "Hawks... his siblings... Mirko... some American models... his agency's profile... and- wait, isn't that Bakugo?"

"HAH?" Mina yells, whipping the phone around and clicking on the profile.

Sure enough, a slew of photos shows up on her screen, all of their resident blond pomeranian glaring at the camera in various locations.

"He- WHAT?? It must be a glitch!" Mina scrambles frantically, eyes darting across the screen.

"Uh, yeah," Kirishima chuckles, "a glitch."

Mina scrolls up numerous times as if refreshing the page will help.

"I mean what other explanation can you think of?! It's not like Thee Todoroki Shouto would know our Bakugou, they're totally in different leagues." Mina sounds absolutely scandalized, causing Sero to laugh.

"I don't know, Meens, the proof is right there. We should ask him about it!"

"And what- DIE?" Kaminari reasons.

Sero nods, "Fair point."

"Pussies." Mina stands, planting her manicured hands on the edge of the couch, "I'll ask him myself."

-

"I REFUSE." A fourteen-year-old Shouto screams at his father.

"what do you mean you refuse? Shouto she's a lovely girl, and you need to procreate while you're still young if you're not going to become a hero like I want. You get one or the other." Todoroki Enji grabs his youngest child by the arm to lead him out of the kitchen, but Shouto jerks out of his grip. "Wh- SHOUTO."

"I'm going to live with Fuyumi. She'll take care of me." He holds his ground, shaking his father off when he tries once again to physically lead him out of the room.

"OH?" Enji bellows a laugh, "And how do you expect she'll find the money to take you in? Raising a teenager is expensive, you know, and she's only a simple school teacher."

"She's not a simple anything. And I- I'll find a way. We'll be fine. I already talked to several agencies."

"...agencies?"

-

"Wait, Mina!!" Kaminari calls after the girl, but she's a woman on a mission and there's no stopping her.

They arrive at Bakugo's door in a heap, Kaminari clawing at Mina while she knocks calmly. Kirishima and Sero stand to watch because they have no idea what else to do. (They're just as nervous as Kaminari but they're more afraid of Mina if they're being honest.)

A crash comes from inside the room, but soon their resident angry boy is slamming open his door and glaring at them. The normalcy is comforting.

"Do you fuckers realize what fucking time it is?"

"Yes~" Mina coos sweetly, "I know old men need their sleep but it's only 8:30 and we have a question."

He sighs aggressively and stretches his arms behind his back, cracking his shoulders and then his neck, Kaminari whimpers in fear.

"Alright, what do you want pinky?"

She's practically vibrating with excitement at this point.

"Why is Todoroki Shouto following you on Instagram?"

Bakugo seems to mull over this for a moment, and then he just shrugs.

Mina nods like this answers any part of her question, "That's what I thought, funny glitch. He's pretty hot though, right?"

The rest of the group nods emphatically.

Bakugo scratches his leg with his other heel, "He's not ugly, I guess."

Mina waves her arms around in Bakugo's general direction, "See!!? Even the straight guy agrees!!"

"No one was disagreeing with you, Mina." Sero snickers.

Bakugo grunts, then promptly slams the door in their faces.

"Well I guess that was more than he'd usually do at this time, we're lucky we didn't get exploded." Kirishima muses.

Kaminari nods, shuddering at the thought.

"Welp! That answers our question!" Although it really didn't, no one was about to argue with Mina, "Anyway I'm going to bed."

"Say hi to your vibe for me!" Sero whispers after her.

She waves as she marches away, humming to herself.

-

Shouto stares at the street below.

He wonders if he'd die falling from a height like this. He hopes he doesn't hit anyone.

Slowly, he removes his expensive sneakers, dropping them on the modelling agency's roof beside him. It's breezy tonight, and Shouto, freshly sixteen, has nothing to live for anymore. So he won't.

Stepping carefully over the guardrail, not sure why since he's about to jump. Maybe part of him is still afraid.

Whatever he can get over it.

His thin frame wobbles in the wind, and he breathes deeply, too focused on relaxing to notice the roof door opening, and hurried steps coming up behind him.

A warm hand grabs him, almost startling him off the side of the building.

The interruption heaves heavy breaths in his ear as they both topple down onto the concrete floor.

"What the fuck were you thinking?!" Oh, it's Bakugo.

The only child of his manager, Mitsuki Bakugo, who happens to be a nosy little shit who can't stay out of other people's business.

"Get OFF" Shouto shoves him, frantically scrambling toward the railing again. He needs this.

"NO! Todoroki get the fuck back-"

"It's SHOUTO." blood spurts onto his gray sweater and he realizes with muted horror that he just elbowed his employer's son in the nose.

"Fuck I'm so sorry, are you okay?" He bends down, removing his trashed pullover, and holds it to his friend's nose.

Bakugo snorts, "Sorry- Shouto I mean." He winces when Shouto presses harder into his face, "I'll forgive you if you don't jump."

Shouto sighs, "You know why I was going to."

Bakugo visibly calms at the use of past tense, the outburst must have snapped him out of it.

"Your mom, right?" Shouto tenses.

"Yeah I- he barred me from ever seeing her again and I- I don't know what to do." He shudders and pulls his pills from his pants pocket.

He wonders what his mom would say if she found out her baby was addicted to drugs.

Bakugou frowns but lets his friend take the pill, not sure what to say.

"Fucking piece of shit. Is that even legal?"

"Legally the number two hero can do whatever the fuck he wants. We live in a flawed world, Bakugo.

"I- Shouto."

"Hmm?" Shouto collapses onto the ground, crunching the pill and sighing as he feels the effects start to take almost immediately.

"I care- I care about you, okay? So please let me help you. Let me get you help."

A tear slips down to Shouto's ear without his permission, he wipes it away as quickly as it came.

"I don't know, Bakugo. You haven't exactly seemed to like me in the past. Even though I like to think we're friends I know you don't feel the same." He frowns, admiring the shine of wetness on his palm in the moonlight.

Bakugo grumbles, "Don't fuckin' tell me what I do and don't feel. I really fuckin' care about you even though I'm an ass about it, okay? I'm not good with emotions so don't expect much from me. But I do want you to be happy and I don't think the uh- the pills are helping."

The blond holds out a hand and reluctantly Shouto slaps the container into it.

"Fine," he mumbles, "you're uh- not as bad as I thought."

Bakugo snorts, "You're just as bad as I thought, but I like you anyway."

Against his will, Shouto finds himself blushing, thankful that it's mostly hidden in the dark.

"C'mon," Bakugo gestures to his own chest, "I know you could use one."

Shouto whimpers as he curls himself into the blond's strong frame. He's built a lot of muscle since starting at UA this year.

A strong hand rubs along his back and Shouto finds he can't hold back his tears any longer as the shock starts to set in.

Fuck he almost just killed himself.

"Thanks, Bakugo."

"I almost just watched you die, you can call me Katsuki."

"Thanks, Katsuki."

"No problem, Shouto."

-

The Bakusquad once again finds themselves playing a game on the common room floor, this time Sorry, much to Sero's chagrin.

"Sorry!" Kirishima grins cheekily as he kicks Sero's piece back to his home base.

"Fuuuuuuuuuuck you guys-" He groans, flopping back onto the loveseat behind him, only to get an eyeful of Bakugo Katsuki's ass, "Oh hey Bakugou!"

"Wh- OI TAPE FACE WATCH WHERE THE HELL YOU'RE LOOKING-"

Sero snickers, patting Bakugou on the hip, "Sorry dude, it was literally right there."

Small explosions popped from Bakugo's hands as he growled down at Sero.

"Aw come on blasty he's just playing and WHERE are you going dressed like that???!!!"

Bakugo blushes and tugs his light blue blazer down farther.

"I have a date." He mutters, tugging his sleeves.

“Sorry,” Kaminari laughs, “I think I misheard you. Sounded like you said ‘I have a date.’”

Bakugo rolls his eyes, “Because I do, dipshit.” He sighs, checking his -expensive-looking- watch, “Just watch the independent film awards when they’re on. I think it’s like four hours from now that it starts.”

“Whyyyy would you have anything to do with that?” Kirishima groans, very lost.

“Shut the fuck up.” Bakugo grunts, digging his phone out of his pocket when it vibrates and checking something before humming and striding towards the front door.

He looks unusually elegant, hair slicked back probably as well as Bakugo’s hair can be, shirt tucked in, a few rings on his fingers, barely visible and yet beautifully drawn eyeliner. He’s… pretty.

The three remaining members of the Bakusquad, as well as the rest of the common room, sit there in awe as he shoves a permission slip in Iida’s blubbering face.

“I- Wh- Bakugo is this from Aizawa? You cannot just leave!!”

“Fuck off glasses, I have his fuckin’ blessing or whatever.”

“Bakugo!”

The blond shoots a middle finger off behind him and slams the door shut, leaving a stunned common room in his wake.

“Uh, well, that happened.” Jirou drones blandly from her place on the couch with Momo.

“Awards show watch party, anyone?!” Uraraka grins, standing, “I’ll get the mochi!!”

“I’ll make tea,” Momo stands as well, dusting off her perfectly clean jeans. Jirou groans at the loss of her girlfriend’s warmth and flops over on the couch.

“This is stupid, he probably got invited by some pro hero and he’s just going to yell at the paparazzi if he’s even gonna be there.” She pouts.

“Well,” Sero grins, “anyone wanna play Monopoly while we wait?”

Kaminari throws the Sorry board at his head.

-

“Alright, is everyone ready!!? The red carpet is about to start!!” Hagakure squeals, even though the entirety of class 3-A (minus Bakugo) is there.

“So… what exactly are we watching this for?” Shinsou scratches the back of his neck.

“Bakugo’s going to be in it apparently, the study group earlier saw him in the common room wearing a suit.” Ojiro answers.

“Not just a suit!!” Mina holds her hands out as if to deliver groundbreaking news, “A fancy suit.”

“Aren’t all suits fancy?”

“Shut up.”

“OOH LOOK there’s Arai Itō and Chiba Yoshida!! Aww, they’re so cute!” Uraraka swoons, clasping her hands together.

“I wonder when Kacchan is gonna come out, these things can take a while.”

“I honestly don’t even care, I heard Todoroki Shouto is nominated for an award this year!! Do you remember that really sad short film he was in about having an overdose? Gosh, I hope he wins.” Hagakure’s hair bow vibrates excitedly.

“THERE HE IS THERE HE IS!!!!!” She points at the bottom of the screen where a man in a pale blue dress has stepped out of a limo and onto the carpet, a heeled foot gracefully raising him to his full 6’2”.

“Holy shit he’s gorgeous.” Sero breathes, the reporters on screen basically saying the same thing.

Shouto reaches behind him and holds out a hand for the second person stepping out of the limo, broad shoulders, a shorter stature than Shouto especially with the heels, spiky blond hair, piercing red eyes-

…

“HOLY SHIT IS THAT BAKUGOU??”

The aerial camera pans down toward the blond, showing off his suit- which matches Shouto’s dress perfectly- and his, what appears to be professionally done hair.

“Holy shit does he have an undercut now!!?? We just saw him a few hours ago!” Mina screeches.

Momo shrugs, “They do that sort of thing for celebrities.” She sips her tea, unphased.

“Okay okay, we’re all ignoring the most important part. Kacchan is Todoroki’s date.” Izuku frantically waves his arms around.

“I didn’t know they knew each other,” Tokoyami muses.

“What the fuck is happening?” Sero asks no one in particular.

“Wait everyone SHUT UP they’re announcing awards!!!! Todoroki might win one! We can ask Bakugo about this when he gets back. Surely there’s an interesting story.” Uraraka chimes in, handing out mochi and popcorn.

The tv’s voice is muffled under the muttering of several class 3-A members, but Mina turns it up as the male announcer reads the winners of the award Todoroki is nominated for.

“AAAAAAAAND THE WINNER FOR BEST ACTOR IN A DRAMA SHORT ISSSSSSSSS…

TODOROKI SHOUTO!!! For his work in The End of Me and the incredible performance that shocked-”

Cheers ring through the dorms, popcorn goes flying, and Mina frantically shushes everyone as Shouto makes his way gracefully onto the stage. He accepts the award from the previous winner, bowing elegantly and stepping up to the mic.

“Hello everyone,” He begins, shooting a shy smile directly into the camera. It has always perplexed his fans how nervous he can be in real life compared to in his photoshoots. “This is a really important award to me, not only am I incredibly grateful to the panel for gracing this title upon me, but as of yesterday,” He smiles at the ground, taking a deep breath, “I’m two years clean.”

Shocked gasps ricochet through the award hall as well as through the crowd gathered around the tv.

“He did drugs, kero?” Tsu whispers.

“Mon dieux,” Aoyama shakes his head, pressing a hand to his chest, “how brave.”

Shouto clears his breath and continues, “In fact, that wasn’t the worst of it at the time, and I’m incredibly grateful to all who have supported me through my career. You keep me sane, and you keep me going. But especially, I’d like to thank my sister, brother, and my wonderful boyfriend-”

He holds an arm out to someone in the audience, and the camera pans to none other than Bakugou Katsuki, “who quite literally saved my life, and helped me drive myself back on track. I love you Katsuki, and you continue to improve my life every second that you’re in it.”

Most of 3-A are in tears at this point, and as Bakugo half-heartedly scowls into the camera, they can tell his eyes are shining too.

Shouto glances back at the camera as if directing his words to someone in particular.

“Thank you.”

And then he’s walking back down to his seat as the audience provides him with a standing ovation.

“THEY’RE DATING,” Mina sobs, shaking Kirishima’s shoulders as he sits, staring slack-jawed at the television.

“Yeah, yeah they are.”

-

Katsuki does NOT wipe tears from his eyes as he helps Shouto sit back down in his seat, but his boyfriend definitely does. His mascara, thankfully waterproof, still holds strong.

Shouto shoots him a watery smile, rubbing his arm as he pulls the blond into a hug.

“Happy two years, Katsuki.”

[edenmemes]

the witcher 3: wild hunt starters

including quotes from the dlcs hearts of stone & blood and wine

❝  you were always an unruly child. i adored that about you.  ❞ ❝  mmm. yes. of course. the excuse you resort to when you’d rather not talk about something.  ❞ ❝  how many have you killed? how many more might you still?  ❞ ❝  you know who i am. and why i’m here.  ❞ ❝  you're a madman and always have been. a cruel, cold-blooded killer.  ❞ ❝  a man should frame his wishes carefully. it forestalls disappointment.  ❞ ❝  no argument. you knew what you were signing up for.  ❞ ❝  maybe once, in a different time...i’d have helped.  ❞ ❝  don’t train alone, it only embeds your errors.  ❞ ❝  wanna get drunk off my ass. and it’s gotta be on cheap wine.  ❞ ❝  you’re a heartless bastard.  ❞ ❝  try to trick me anyway, anyhow, you won’t go anywhere, you know that. ‘cause i’ll take your head off right where it meets your neck.  ❞ ❝  sorry. i don’t want to talk about it. not now, at least.  ❞ ❝  we are more like a family.   we support each other and help each other survive tough moments.  ❞ ❝  so how’s it feel to be the village witch?  ❞ ❝  realize, please, that you were made for great things.  ❞ ❝  folks say a curse has fallen on that place, a dark power brought down by the bestiality of the murders it beheld.  ❞ ❝  so, now you’ve threatened me and all...are you in or are you not?  ❞ ❝  i know it must sound foolish, but in the dream - well, it was all too real...  ❞ ❝  we may not survive this. in fact, our chances are slim.  ❞ ❝  it’s always been about you. only you.  ❞ ❝  i remember finding your sense of humor both groan-worthy...and somehow endearing.  ❞ ❝  kings die, realms fall, but magic endures.  ❞ ❝  i detest banquets. vacuous conversation, food portions fit for a mouse, drinks that taste like piss...  ❞ ❝  despite what you’ve heard, i don’t lunge at every monster i see, sword in hand.  ❞ ❝  each day’s more dangerous than the last.  ❞ ❝  it’s folks like you that restore my faith in humankind.  ❞ ❝  my power lies in possessing knowledge, not sharing it.  ❞ ❝  the rotten smell brings back childhood memories.  ❞ ❝  awfully noble of you, showing so much concern for the needy.  ❞ ❝  no need to thank me. always glad to save your ass. you’re welcome.  ❞ ❝  i may be inhumanely beautiful, but i don’t have super human senses.  ❞ ❝  anyone can be made to talk, even a corpse. one must simply know how.  ❞ ❝  we’ve done the hardest part. only got the pleasant bits now.  ❞ ❝  there are few causes worth saving. even fewer men.  ❞ ❝  don’t treat me like a child.  ❞ ❝  there’s strange men lurking outside the house. watching me.  ❞ ❝  you must be careful what you wish for lest your wish be granted.    for there are consequences.  ❞ ❝  shall i be free of the suffering? the sadness?  ❞ ❝  i wish to gaze into those eyes, eyes the devil would be proud to have.  ❞ ❝  you were born with a great gift. and only you can decide how to use it.  ❞ ❝  any other words of wisdom? or can we go?  ❞ ❝  what i need is an ally. and something tells me i shall find none better than you.  ❞ ❝  i can see no row can occur here without your participation.  ❞ ❝  i and what concerns me have not been a concern of yours for some time now.  ❞ ❝  if you’d not arrived in time, things might have ended considerably worse.  ❞ ❝  if they can bleed, they can die.  ❞ ❝  a man must display some madness from time to time --- it helps him feel alive.  ❞ ❝  i was deeply troubled. you’ve no idea.  ❞ ❝  done that so many times, but...it felt like our first kiss to me.  ❞ ❝  don’t need to play tough on me.  ❞ ❝  i've lost too many mates already. i won’t risk it, i can't.  ❞ ❝  there’s just not enough of us. it’ll be a hard fight.  ❞ ❝  in lonely woods, screams carry long.  ❞ ❝  things used to be simpler.    monsters were bad, humans good.   now, everything’s all confused.  ❞ ❝  as for your missteps --- i don't rightly see why i shouldn't laugh if they're amusing..  ❞ ❝  i’ve no gold to offer you in reward...but i shall be ever so grateful.  ❞ ❝  if you’re scared, turn back. i’m gonna go on.  ❞ ❝  if anything happens, i’ll defend you.  ❞ ❝  once you say "i love you," a kiss has to taste differently.  ❞ ❝  maybe we should sit? you look a bit dazed...  ❞ ❝  drink it off, sleep it off, whatever it takes...just get yourself together and think things        through.  ❞ ❝  i shall join later, if it’s no trouble. i don’t yet feel strong enough to venture out.  ❞ ❝  awake at last. you writhed like a squirrel caught in a snare.  ❞ ❝  again you plan without even asking what i think!  ❞ ❝  come to see how i’m feelin'? thanks, not bad.  ❞ ❝  i remember that day quite well...there was a light drizzle, yet the cold tore right through you.  ❞ ❝  you gotta keep your eyes peeled wide open. someone’s taken an interest in your work.  ❞ ❝  oof...for a minute, i actually thought we were doomed.  ❞ ❝  you shouldn’t worry yourself --- it tarnishes your beauty.  ❞ ❝  i’d even embrace you...were you not covered in blood.  ❞ ❝  guess i could’ve been someone worse...just a shame i had no choice.  ❞ ❝  facts interest me. not fairytales.  ❞ ❝  hm, odd smell. blend of alcohol, blood and monster stench.  ❞ ❝  i’m old and i am wealthy. i may say what i please.  ❞ ❝  now, be so kind and leave me to my thoughts.  ❞ ❝  in your shoes i’d pack it up and go hide somewhere far away.  ❞ ❝  forgive me, but that's the blatherin' of someone who clearly can't snap out of it after a tragic loss.  ❞ ❝  that all you gotta say? i saved your life.  ❞ ❝  i swear on all that is holy: we shall be together forever.  ❞ ❝  think of me as part of the decor.  ❞ ❝  anyone who’s bold enough to fight is already a hero.  ❞ ❝  if this is a trap of some sort...  ❞ ❝  you can count on me, you know? always.  ❞ ❝  you don’t know how much it means...to have someone you can rely on in this fucking city.  ❞ ❝  i know you. you have no heart.  ❞ ❝  no room for friendship in this business.  ❞ ❝  evil is evil. lesser, greater, middling, makes no difference. the degree is arbitrary, the definitions blurred.  ❞ ❝  hands off, or i'll cut them off.  ❞ ❝  i’ll need to clear my head first. after those deranged dreams, i feel it’s full of cobwebs.  ❞ ❝  on your way? or will you stay longer? it’s far safer with you around...  ❞ ❝  really sad story, but something’s not right. got a feeling you’re not telling me everything.  ❞ ❝  gotta admit, there’s something about you. you’re...different.  ❞ ❝  with each arrow i shoot, i think of my dad. he’d be proud, i think.  ❞ ❝  i merely know when to indulge my pride, and when to swallow it.  ❞ ❝  you were born to greatness.  ❞ ❝  these’re dark, grim times. no room for knights pure of heart or happily-ever-afters.  ❞ ❝  a life without liquor’s like loving without licking.  ❞ ❝  my certainty i walk the right path grows strong as iron, firm as steel.  ❞ ❝  few make me feel awkward, but in your presence, i feel anxiety, discomfort.  ❞ ❝  some men have got good reason to fear their own shadows.  ❞ ❝  some men cannot admit defeat. some keep fighting from beyond the grave.  ❞ ❝  stare into their eyes, feast on their terror. then go in for the kill.  ❞ ❝  forget not that you are a person right and honorable, devoted to doing good.  ❞ ❝  ash shall fertilize the soil. by spring, the valley shall bloom once more.  ❞ ❝  there’s lots of wraiths here. i hear them whispering every night.  ❞ ❝  no one has the courage to face this threat! yet we must kill them, or sooner or later we will all die.  ❞ ❝  you are a step away from losing your head. speak the truth and you might yet keep it.  ❞ ❝  you carry within you the weight of a terrible tragedy. you are a good person, but lost. which is why you come across as grim.  ❞ ❝  if i understand you correctly, you would rather help a monster than kill it?  ❞ ❝  discouraged after a mere eight attempts?  ❞ ❝  easier to pat someone on the back and hope things will work out than it is to face the truth.  ❞ ❝  know that they can’t teach an old dog new tricks?  ❞ ❝  my, you’ve grown beautiful.  ❞ ❝  my swords a promise --- if i reach for it, heads will roll.  ❞ ❝  one condition: no one dies. that clear?  ❞ ❝  patience happens to be my weakness. so dispense with the dramatic pauses and talk.  ❞ ❝  you proved today you can take care of yourself.  ❞ ❝  you under the delusion you’ll complete your tasks, live happily ever after?  ❞ ❝  i will not sit and twiddle my thumbs. i'm sick of waiting, sick of hiding!  ❞ ❝  glad you know who i am. haven’t introduced yourself, though.  ❞ ❝  i’ve seen a great deal --- cruelty, cynicism, greed.  ❞ ❝  you tempt fate, because at heart you are unhappy.  ❞ ❝  we had our chance, but...let it go.  ❞ ❝  come now, you didn’t expect it to be that easy, did you?  ❞ ❝  promise me one thing --- you’ll stop risking your life for others.  ❞ ❝  instead of dwelling on the future, i’d rather live in the moment.  ❞ ❝  i adore love stories. especially the ones that end happily ever after.  ❞ ❝  we are drops of rain that together make a ferocious storm.  ❞ ❝  the path to freedom is paved in blood, not ink.  ❞ ❝  we’ll get our happy ending. one day.  ❞ ❝  i’ll never forget what you did for me...and what we had together.  ❞ ❝  don’t meddle in other people’s lives.  ❞ ❝  i don’t get attached to places. just people.  ❞ ❝  it’s dangerous, there are risks involved. understand that, don’t you?  ❞ ❝  and here i hoped someone would finally take pity on me.  ❞ ❝  seen a lot of dead in my time, but that must’ve been hard.  ❞ ❝  air is strange...like dropping into a deep cellar on a hot day...  ❞ ❝  wouldn’t carry a sword if i didn’t know how to use it.  ❞ ❝  take it you didn't summon me to reminisce about the good old days, so...  ❞ ❝  i was attacked --- had to defend myself.  ❞ ❝  guards have never stopped me, you know that.  ❞ ❝  treating the ill and wounded...it’s my calling.  ❞ ❝  you think it’s enchanted?  ❞ ❝  there are times when a woman should simply not explain her decision.  ❞ ❝  won’t find too many comforts, but try to feel at home.  ❞ ❝  i was looking for you...sometimes i thought you were just a step away. other times, i felt like i was going around in circles.  ❞ ❝  i’ll remember you. always with a smile.  ❞ ❝  i’d rather you not make anymore trouble --- for yourself, or us both.  ❞ ❝  got the stench of corpes on you.  ❞ ❝  you stood to gain --- that is why you saved me.  ❞ ❝  sages invariably have hidden agendas. altruism is simply not part of their constitution.  ❞ ❝  the gods have abandoned us. the mighty of this earth care not for our fate.  ❞ ❝  is that admiration i hear in your voice?  ❞ ❝  i started off heading in the opposite direction, but then turned around.  ❞ ❝  i’m fed up. i won’t have others deciding for me behind my back.  ❞ ❝  where’d you get this idea? what’s gotten into you?  ❞ ❝  i don't expect you to commit now. think it over, what you've heard, what you feel.  ❞ ❝  head torn clear off...takes incredible strength.  ❞ ❝  desperate fathers have been known to do a lot to find their daughters.  ❞ ❝  you cannot kill me. you know this...  ❞ ❝  "i give you my heart”? what kind of spell is that?  ❞ ❝  i’d go anywhere with you.  ❞ ❝  why? because i am a woman? in a frock, rather than plate? i can take care of myself, i assure you.  ❞ ❝  everything we discussed here, hope you’ll keep it to yourself. counting on it, in fact.  ❞ ❝  trusted you once. won’t make that mistake again.  ❞ ❝  shut up. i’ve heard enough of your bullshit. draw your weapon, let’s get this over with.  ❞ ❝  exaggerating for effect, right?  ❞ ❝  well, well...when cornered, you can bite.  ❞ ❝  you cannot win...even if you kill me.  ❞ ❝  you know i’m good at accomplishing the impossible.  ❞ ❝  it’s nothing, really. you’d have done the same for me.  ❞ ❝  you are not ready. you do not control your powers.  ❞ ❝  you’re a tool in their hands, even if you don’t see it.  ❞ ❝  i’d do anything for you, i would. you know that well.  ❞ ❝  this is a land where the fantastic is normal, and the impossible occurs daily...  ❞ ❝  know when a legend becomes a prophecy? when it gain believers.  ❞ ❝  i thought you’d become a stranger to me. that i’d look at you and not feel a thing. but it’s not like that at all. nothing’s changed.  ❞ ❝  to be honest, i just wanted to go on a walk with you.  ❞ ❝  what i really want is to be with you, to...to be together and...  ❞ ❝  this is not the kind of offer one refuses.  ❞ ❝  despair devours you like maggots devour a corpse.  ❞ ❝  before long every soul will kneel before you.  ❞ ❝  i run into dilemmas all the time. situations where it's hard to judge, hard to know what's right, make a decision. this is not one of them. you disgust me. and deserve to die.  ❞ ❝  you know me. i’m rare to praise, but when i do, it’s sincere.  ❞ ❝  i'm not a thug for hire.  ❞ ❝  i like being on adventures, sleeping under the stars, waking up with dew on my face.  ❞ ❝  the dream's within reach now. i’m not about to let it go.  ❞ ❝  unlike you, killing gives me no pleasure.  ❞ ❝  can't speak for the world you inhabit, but in mine, nothing is ever black and white.  ❞ ❝  you cannot possibly imagine how much i detest this place.  ❞ ❝  stones you’ve got. but i didn’t think you’d have the stomach for a massacre.  ❞ ❝  the dead man --- looked like a monster attacked him recently.  ❞ ❝  finish all your business before you die. bid loved ones farewell. write your will. apologize to those you’ve wronged. otherwise, you’ll never truly leave this world.  ❞ ❝  i've had nothing but nightmares lately. pretty horrible.  ❞ ❝  i was wandering through the forest, breathing deep the air, and then i heard a strange sound, unsettling.  ❞ ❝  had a few nice dreams. for example, in one we sat around a fire, drinking good wine, and all around people danced and laughed.  ❞ ❝  they’re all dead! mountains of corpses. yet here i stand alone. all alone.  ❞ ❝  this isn’t a game. men have died.  ❞ ❝  if you wanna listen, listen, if not --- i'd rather you spared me your wit and throw me out now.  ❞ ❝  you fed me, cared for me, had my wounds looked after. we're even now.  ❞ ❝  you’ll return, you shall. our fates are bound.  ❞ ❝  i’ve nothing left. not a fucking thing.  ❞ ❝  i don’t question your abilities. i simply don’t trust you.  ❞ ❝  what foolish things men sometimes do.  ❞ ❝  dare harm me, and against you will rise all the powers of nature.  ❞ ❝  did you destroy the evil powers? have you brought peace to my domain?  ❞ ❝  well, perhaps i shall tell you about it one day. one day, but not today..  ❞ ❝  times like these, you never know what tomorrow will bring.  ❞ ❝  you worry too much. what will be, will be.  ❞ ❝  have you gone completely mad? we must leave here at once!  ❞ ❝  time eats away at memories, distorts them. sometimes we only remember the good... sometimes only the bad.  ❞ ❝  you don’t need magic to strip men of their humanity. i’ve seen plenty of examples.  ❞ ❝  if i’m to choose between one evil and another, i’d rather not choose at all.  ❞ ❝  see what i’ve got on my back? wolves fear it. kings do, too.  ❞ ❝  i missed those awkward compliments of yours.  ❞ ❝  sometimes i think it’s all too lovely to be true…that something’s bound to happen, another war or some other horror.  ❞ ❝  took you a while. did you run into trouble?  ❞ ❝  i just travel a lot. and i don't always happen upon such good and civil company.  ❞ ❝  what can you know about saving the world, silly?  ❞ ❝  done my share of fighting. wouldn't carry a sword if i didn't know to use it.  ❞ ❝  all right, perhaps i wasn’t completely honest.  ❞ ❝  ever thought this day would come? me and you...peace and quiet...bees buzzing, birds chirping.  ❞ ❝  i detect a shadow of impatience in your face.  ❞ ❝  took me a long time to find you. wasn't an easy road to travel.  ❞ ❝  wipe that frown off your face, or i might think you don’t like me anymore.  ❞ ❝  always believed attack was the best defense.  ❞ ❝  once it’s all over, if we survive ... i wish to leave, go far away.   and i’d like you to come with me.  ❞ ❝  naturally, you suspect me of the worst. i don’t deserve that.  ❞ ❝  we can fight another time, in another place, where the walls have no ears.  ❞ ❝  once i was free...i shall be free once more.  ❞ ❝  believe me...a tavern, mulled wine, our boots drying by the fire --- i’d like nothing better.  ❞ ❝  prove it. kiss me.  ❞ ❝  the prophecies do not lie...you cannot survive this struggle.  ❞ ❝  i know you better than you think.  ❞ ❝  you know me. nothing i like more than breaking rules.  ❞ ❝  what’s happened? it’s so quiet, all of a sudden.  ❞ ❝  thank you, for coming with me.  ❞ ❝  i cannot do everything for you. use your head.  ❞ ❝  i'm angry and tired. had to kill a lot of people along the way.  ❞ ❝  we’ve come a long way, and i’d be damned if we’ve come to fail.  ❞ ❝  i sense your pain. i see your fear.  ❞ ❝  how’s this for an answer: kiss my ass.  ❞ ❝  how many have you already killed? how many more might you still?  ❞ ❝  i'm quite alive and extraordinarily well. better than i've ever been in this rotten life of mine.  ❞ ❝  i like it when you smile. come here. everything will be all right.  ❞ ❝  ugh. don’t fall in love with me.  ❞ ❝  i don’t like you. in fact, i feel like slapping you.  ❞ ❝  i'm too old to play the blushing bride...unless you ask nicely.  ❞ ❝  that bit of my life --- forgotten it already.  ❞ ❝  the world doesn’t need a hero. it needs a professional.  ❞ ❝  next time you wonder why i’m so bitter...well, there's your answer.  ❞ ❝  nothing wrong with having a drink in good company.  ❞ ❝  i want you behind those rocks. and keep your mouth shut.  ❞ ❝  nice of you to worry...but i've made my decision, and i won't change it.  ❞ ❝  this is my story, not yours. you must let me finish telling it.  ❞ ❝  after all that toil, i believe we deserve a bit of a rest.  ❞ ❝  i was afraid you were dead.  ❞ ❝  we’ve all some stain on our conscience.  ❞ ❝  leaving the castle walls means certain death.  ❞ ❝  right good jest. had us a laugh. now fuck off.  ❞ ❝  i’ve heard about you. you bring trouble, or thus far have, always.  ❞ ❝  ah, you’ve struck a raw nerve.    memories of a time long past to which i’d rather not return now.  ❞ ❝  we meet again. and it seems you need my help. again.  ❞ ❝  got a relative i can talk to? someone - how do i say this - a smidgen less irritating?  ❞ ❝  miss the target, you owe me fifty push-ups. hit it, you owe me twenty.  ❞ ❝  oh. serious talk coming.  ❞ ❝  i feel like one more lie'd be the last bitter drop in a chalice full of sorrow.  ❞ ❝  romantic? thought we came here as friends.  ❞ ❝  you’re hiding something. and that’s one thing i can’t stand.  ❞ ❝  tell me, how do you do it? always manage to pull yourself together, focus, no matter what’s happening?  ❞ ❝  i go wherever i please, whenever i please.  ❞ ❝  uh oh. i know that look.  ❞ ❝  sounds tempting. so tempting i don’t think i can refuse.  ❞ ❝  so, what do you say to a moonlight ride on horseback...and dinner?  ❞ ❝  perhaps...perhaps you’d stay just a bit longer?  ❞ ❝  how are you feeling? sleep well?  ❞ ❝  such a gloomy subject to broach...  simply shouldn’t have.  ❞

❝  such a gloomy subject to broach...i simply shouldn’t have --- not during our romantic dinner.  ❞ ❝  got it. a bit of blackmail --- just your style.  ❞ ❝  it’s the crack of dawn. where do you wanna go?  ❞ ❝  shut up before you wake someone. last thing we need is a crowd.  ❞ ❝  watch what you say. the trees have ears.  ❞ ❝  no bow at hand, no spear. my sword was all i had.  ❞ ❝  never expected you’d take such an interest in my private life.  ❞ ❝  i’m special. always was the rare beauty.  ❞ ❝  damn. been ages since we last saw each other.  ❞ ❝  some charming orchards nearby. in bloom, even, so you almost can't smell the corpses.  ❞ ❝  you know me. nothing i like more than breaking rules.  ❞ ❝  man spends his whole life learning.  ❞ ❝  if only i was as skilled with my words as i am with my blade.  ❞ ❝  i wished to know what was going on in that head of yours. i thought perhaps i could help.  ❞ ❝  i can tell something’s bothering you.  ❞ ❝  dangerous times. each thinks five times before sticking their neck out.   and i can’t blame them.  ❞ ❝  now i care not in the slightest how you think or feel.  ❞ ❝  i no longer know if i still hate you.  ❞ ❝  i see how you look at me, and i see you wither.  ❞ ❝  one last bit of advice --- find a new tavern. everyone here knows you.  ❞ ❝  you won. no point bothering with ‘what ifs’.  ❞ ❝  it’s time i took fate into my own hands. lived life anew...and truly, this time.  ❞ ❝  ahh, 'cause you thought you'd killed me that time. surprise, sur-fucking-prise.  ❞ ❝  who...who’s that? gods, i’m hallucinating.  ❞ ❝  it’s no exaggeration to say i’ve never met a warrior like you in my life. you’re lithe as an eel and strong as a bear.  ❞ ❝  i’ve a heart again, yet all it feels is grief, sadness and defeat. my life is a ruin.  ❞ ❝  sought only to protect myself. in doing so, i put you in harm’s way. forgive me.  ❞ ❝  there’s a charming grove nearby where  kisses  taste  sweeter than anywhere else in the world.  ❞ ❝  you’ve handled tougher situations. you’ll figure this one out.  ❞ ❝  who you are and why you’ve come matter little. for you’ll not leave this place alive.  ❞ ❝  i’m not panicking. just trying to be realistic.  ❞ ❝  hahahahaha...i can’t believe you fell for that!  ❞ ❝  i was actually going to recite an anthem praising your glory, but if you’re not in the mood...  ❞ ❝  lying didn’t always come so easily to you.  ❞ ❝  everyone wants to rule. i can do that better than any monarch.  ❞ ❝  tell me what you want already, and make it quick.  ❞ ❝  what a mess we made of it all...if i’d only known then how it would end...  ❞ ❝  seems a faded dream now, but there were a time where i was happy.  ❞ ❝  why’d you leave me? you claimed you loved me.  ❞ ❝  never liked boats. not one bit.  ❞ ❝  you must be mad. i’ve no intention to make things easier for you.  ❞ ❝  i don’t wish to look at your face any longer than i must.  ❞ ❝  please, no. i can’t stand spells.  ❞ ❝  we agreed not to keep any secrets from one another. we promised.  ❞ ❝  that i like! a man who boldly dares, damn the risks!  ❞ ❝  i thought you bowed before no man.  ❞ ❝  smile a bit wider. ...you were meant to smile, not bare your teeth.  ❞ ❝  is that blood? have you hurt yourself?  ❞ ❝  no reason to trouble the guards. i’ll go willingly.  ❞ ❝  look at me. promise you’ll stay out of it.  ❞ ❝  the minute we’re in trouble, you make me responsible for getting us out.  ❞ ❝  they say they don’t fear the wrath of the gods. and you, do you fear it?  ❞ ❝  i’ll let that pass. i know grief eats at your heart.  ❞ ❝  we all lie sometimes. but lying to yourself is running away, whereas there’s really nowhere to run.  ❞ ❝  don’t need your sympathy, just your help.  ❞ ❝  your loss -- it must hurt, bad. but there wasn't anything we could do.  ❞ ❝  i wish to leave, go far away. and i’d like you to come with me.  ❞ ❝  i trust you have an explanation for this. a very good one.  ❞ ❝  lot of bitterness in you.  ❞ ❝  i assure you, you’re excellent at covering your tracks --- though not terribly subtle. but i’m even better at uncovering them.  ❞ ❝  glad to see you happy...but i don’t think what we did was right.  ❞ ❝  i look at you, and...and feel like i am exactly where i am supposed to be. at long last.  ❞ ❝  i’m no coward. i'll not run this time.  ❞ ❝  yes, i know you’ve trained with swords. but you’re still shit with them.  ❞ ❝  how many innocents have you cut down?  ❞ ❝  problem is, you’re not ordinary. you were born to greatness.  ❞ ❝  not too late to surrender.  ❞ ❝  men turn honest when they feel a blade at their throat.  ❞ ❝  i'm not gonna drink. why dull my senses when i’m in such pleasant company?  ❞ ❝  it’s bound to come in handy, and each time it does, you’ll think of me.  ❞ ❝  lie still or you will bleed to death.  ❞ ❝  your life is yours, exclusively. you choose who you are.  ❞ ❝  for a minute there, was almost sure you’d leave me to die.  ❞ ❝  there is never a second opportunity to make a first impression.  ❞ ❝  it’s all because of that secretiveness of yours.  ❞ ❝  plead the gods spare us, for without their favor we shall most certainly perish.  ❞ ❝  i must say -- seen a lot, but nothing like this, never.  ❞ ❝  you don’t look like you can get home on your own. i’ll walk you.  ❞ ❝  all’s in the past, never to be restored.  ❞ ❝  you know full well i never hold a grudge. i forgive you.  ❞ ❝  the good gods sent you to me.  ❞ ❝  and the guilt, the responsibility of all this, lies with me.  ❞ ❝  you’ve only been here five minutes, and you’ve already managed to offend me twice.  ❞ ❝  you will certainly fetch me a higher bounty alive.  ❞ ❝  what's wrong with my beard? always thought it added to my dignity.  ❞ ❝  if i’m to die today, i wish to look smashing for the occasion.  ❞ ❝  i was stupid. stupidity costs a lot.  ❞ ❝  even your humblest requests seem like threats.  ❞ ❝  your motives do not interest me. only results.  ❞ ❝  and you laughed, oh, how sweetly, how brightly you laughed!  ❞ ❝  you don’t know how it is. to see someone you love die. because of you, for you.  ❞ ❝  to have a scapegoat --- that’s the key.  ❞ ❝  no need to fear me.  ❞ ❝  sorry, but -- your life story? just not interested.  ❞ ❝  with you...it was love at first sight.  ❞ ❝  gotta understand. you don’t betray people like me.  ❞ ❝  i struggled long to find a place where i’d feel safe, needed. until i finally arrived here.  ❞ ❝  just don’t faint on me.  ❞ ❝  could never be there for you everyday. but i’m happy to see you always. and today, i’m all yours.  ❞ ❝  what others think...your image...that’s all you care about.  ❞ ❝  in these foul times one must be wary, even of their friends.  ❞ ❝  come on, don’t get angry - it’s not good for you..  ❞ ❝  so, apart from the sword play, you know potions and all that?  ❞ ❝  i actually envy your sense of wonder --- common in children, and morons.  ❞ ❝  a lot of misfortune for a small village.  ❞ ❝  who are you? do you seek to hurt me as well?  ❞ ❝  the hand that feeds can also strike its wayward wards.  ❞ ❝  shh. eat now. we’ll speak once you’ve rested.  ❞ ❝  brother has turned against brother, the land is soaked in blood. evil reigns stronger than ever before.  ❞ ❝  good looking and clever. where’ve you been hiding?  ❞ ❝  doesn’t bother you, having monsters for neighbours?  ❞ ❝  stay here --- no matter what happens.  ❞ ❝  i never told you this, but i’ve always felt it: i love you.  ❞ ❝  listen to me this once -- don't take matters into your own hands.  ❞ ❝  love these moments. the air before a battle -- nothing smells as sweet.  ❞ ❝  they tried to get in through the main gate. i’m afraid they could succeed next time.  ❞ ❝  too many claim you’re evil.  ❞ ❝  why are you so eager to help strangers? sit your ass down or there’ll be misfortune.  ❞ ❝  you'd never have managed without me, would you? come, now, admit it.  ❞ ❝  for those who remain, death should never take precedence over life.  ❞ ❝  thanks for coming. thanks for risking your life for me.  ❞ ❝  don’t force me to speak of it. no more, please.  ❞ ❝  when doubt plagues your mind, follow your instincts. should they steer you wrong and land you in muck, you'll land at peace with yourself. and that's most important.  ❞ ❝   just know that i know you're here. one misstep, one error...you'll make a mistake, it's inevitable...i'll be the first to learn it.  ❞ ❝  i do not know you. i’ve done you no harm.  ❞ ❝  try not to panic...just doesn’t suit you.  ❞ ❝  we’ve come a long way, and i’ll be damned if we’ve come to fail.  ❞ ❝  had i known what would happen here, i'd never have come.  ❞ ❝  i can say i’ve seen it all now.  ❞ ❝  these scars have long yearned for your tender caress.  ❞ ❝  i don’t fall victim to curses. i cast them.  ❞ ❝  come outside. we can hold hands and stare at the sky.  ❞ ❝  we’ll work well together --- i can see that already.  ❞ ❝  from the first moment i set eyes upon you that fateful evening, my heart has only beaten for you.  ❞ ❝  i trust you as much as you trust me --- not at all.  ❞ ❝  you’ve gone all red in the face just for talking about it.  ❞ ❝  wake up. it’s just a dream. wake up!  ❞ ❝  i still don’t believe everything that happened.  ❞ ❝  i never miss twice.  ❞ ❝  bit too old to believe in bedtime stories, aren’t you?  ❞ ❝  you humans have...unusual tastes.  ❞ ❝  didn’t think it worthwhile to tell me, warn me of your plans?  ❞ ❝  i think you will not attack one unarmed.  ❞ ❝  the deeper i get into this, the more i gotta wonder...why’re you even helping me?  ❞ ❝  to live in peace, we first must kill.  ❞ ❝  at times fate muddles our path, and life turns toilsome, hard to bear.  ❞ ❝  i fight for whoever’s paying the best. or whoever’s easier to rob.  ❞ ❝  do not let my beauty distract your aim.  ❞ ❝  i’ve seen what is to come, i know destruction approaches.  ❞ ❝  the war awoke an ancient power. an evil one that feeds on bloodshed.  ❞ ❝  guess you’re no stranger to fury, either.  ❞ ❝  think i’m gonna fall for that? no chance, you’re wrong.  ❞ ❝  gotta admit --- you do pretty well with a sword.  ❞ ❝  you dare tell me to calm down?! you?!  ❞ ❝  let's say i go about my business, and when there's coin to be earned, i don't readily turn it down.  ❞ ❝  i wish to know the truth...be it sweet, be it painful, i wish to know.  ❞ ❝  men, the polite ones at least, would call me a monster.  ❞ ❝  even i grow ill at the sight of you.  ❞ ❝  i’m going on a walk. or is that not allowed either? because i could break my leg?  ❞ ❝  plan’s crazier than it is sane...but there’s an irrestistible charm to it.  ❞ ❝  unbelievable! you said something romantic! you!  ❞ ❝  we may not survive this. in fact, our chances are slim.  ❞ ❝  if anything should happen to you...  ❞ ❝  there’s not been a dark cloud yet that didn’t have a silver lining.  ❞ ❝  those are some fresh lookin’ scars you’ve got there.  ❞ ❝  no. no more about the battle. just hold me. and say something nice.  ❞ ❝  stay. this is the only home we’ve ever had.  ❞ ❝  you’re so charming when you try to be funny.  ❞ ❝  not proud of it...yet i considered all the options and found none better.  ❞ ❝  i look far different from when you last saw me.  ❞ ❝  i admire your optimism. wish i shared it.  ❞ ❝  and...try not to draw any attention to yourself.  ❞ ❝  nightmares haunt our nights and days. folk sleepwalk from their homes, never to return.  ❞ ❝  forgive me. it couldn’t be avoided. i truly am sorry.  ❞ ❝  well i’ve departed, escaped, been forced to flee so many times…yet i always returned. you ought to be used to it by now.  ❞ ❝  the human mind is as wild and unexplored a place as any land far beyond the sea.  ❞ ❝  you think you’ve won. you are wrong. i can’t die.  ❞ ❝  you’re something more. something more.  ❞ ❝  barely nicked me, i’ll be fine.  ❞ ❝  it’s just that i felt...stifled, in your shadow. i’d have suffocated had i stayed.  ❞ ❝  come, don’t just stand there. i want a hug.  ❞ ❝  it’s lovely here! i could stay forever.  ❞ ❝  do what you will, but leave me out of this.  ❞ ❝  we should end this discussion -- before i say something i'll regret.  ❞ ❝  you all right? you’re as pale as death.  ❞ ❝  let’s get back to the hut. i’ll protect you along the way.  ❞ ❝  not to keen on talking about it, are you?  ❞ ❝  it’s better to die than to live in the knowledge that you’ve done something that needs forgiveness.  ❞ ❝  i was afraid you were dead.  ❞ ❝  at times one must use reason, rather than blades.  ❞ ❝  need some peace. gotta prepare.  ❞ ❝  i suspected it might not be the best idea, but i was desperate, had no choice.  ❞ ❝  so tell me how it happened. step by step.  ❞ ❝  it was a bit of a lark, a jest. i meant to bring it all back, i swear.  ❞ ❝  if i wanted to kill you, you'd be long dead by now.  ❞ ❝  that is precisely one of the reasons why i abhor your world.    your senseless brutality.  ❞ ❝  i won’t let them take you, you know that?  ❞ ❝  magic...childish hocus-pocus. it’s just not interesting. what i find fascinating are true tales of true human lives.  ❞ ❝  save your praise for others. i couldn’t give a shit.  ❞ ❝  well, well, i am impressed. doubted you still had it in you, frankly.  ❞ ❝  i like you. don’t make me hurt you.  ❞ ❝  you know very little can hurt you being immortal, so you take wild risks, chase extreme sensations. there comes a point you’ve done it all, and all seems boring and monotonous.  ❞ ❝  with you i finally feel...harmony. a calm. feel like things are the way they're supposed to be.  ❞ ❝  i'm afraid the dishwater’s as good as it gets in this establishment.  ❞ ❝  sorry to take so long, but i had to deal with the guards.  ❞ ❝  i’d never miss a chance to spend a pleasant evening with you.  ❞ ❝  you know too much. yet one more reason why you must die.  ❞ ❝  or perhaps you seek to trick me.  ❞ ❝  if you acknowledge any gods...start praying, now.  ❞ ❝  it’s very simple. you either deceived me...or not.  ❞ ❝  i am known neither for my sense of humor nor for my patience.  ❞ ❝  naturally, it would be easier with your help, but...you irritate me.  ❞ ❝  love questions like that. am i holding up? what, my dick?  ❞ ❝  we never hunt in these woods. not even if it means the whole village starves.  ❞ ❝  we’re only ever the ones to know the truth about ourselves.  ❞ ❝  you’re insolent because you believe i cannot afford to hurt you. and you’re right.  ❞ ❝  i detest graveyards, especially wandering them alone.  ❞ ❝  you know too much. you impede me too often. and i find your arrogance an annoyance.  ❞ ❝  i know it’s wartime, but try not to be a hero, all right?  ❞ ❝  i don’t know that i’ll make for engaging company. in truth, i rarely talk to men.  ❞ ❝  you know...had a dream about you recently.  ❞ ❝  i thought i could at least count on you to treat me seriously.  ❞ ❝  don’t ask questions you know the answers to. it makes you look stupid.  ❞ ❝  you’re nosy. starting to piss me off, you know?  ❞ ❝  what did i do to deserve this? have i given you cause to doubt my intentions?  ❞ ❝  don’t fret about me. i always get by somehow, right?  ❞ ❝  i wanted to go with you --- that was my idea.  ❞ ❝  i shan’t stray a step from your side.  ❞ ❝  if that’s what it takes to save the world, it’s better to let that world die.  ❞ ❝  what’s that supposed to mean? that a threat?  ❞ ❝  i’m offering a great and true adventure, an experience like no other, the fate of only the chosen few.  ❞ ❝  that’s like choosing between pestilence and the plague.  ❞ ❝  what’s it matter? i only ever thought of you.  ❞ ❝  did you know you’ve gained twenty-seven new scars since we’ve last saw each other?  ❞ ❝  i need to know the details if you want me to get my hands dirty.  ❞ ❝  don’t know you. go away.  ❞ ❝  ever vigilant, even in your sleep. quite vampire-like, in fact.  ❞ ❝  gotten used to people treating me like a freak, an outcast.  ❞ ❝  we share a cause, then. just like the old days.  ❞ ❝  ever considered becoming a burglar? skill like that’d come in awful handy.  ❞ ❝  there’s never been a frown that couldn’t be turned upside down.  ❞ ❝  honesty's an attribute of the truly brave --- and thus the privilege of the very few.  ❞ ❝  you do not have a monopoly in altruism, my friend.  ❞ ❝  great love demands great sacrifices.  ❞ ❝  i believe it wise at times to share one’s secrets, unburden oneself to those one can trust.  ❞ ❝  it would be nice from time to time if you could sit back and enjoy life, instead of going around solving everyone’s problems.  ❞ ❝  we shall dance until the break of dawn!  ❞ ❝  a man could lose his head for a lass like you.  ❞ ❝  don’t have to come if you don’t want. wait here.  ❞ ❝  never seen this side of you.  ❞ ❝  i’m to kiss the ground you walk on, is that it? but you just did your duty.  ❞ ❝  the day you give me a smile...that moment, that’s what i’m waiting for.  ❞ ❝  i need a soul intelligent and clever, an individual who fears no dare. someone like you.  ❞ ❝  if i was you i’d catch some shut-eye, not go on flapping my tongue.  ❞ ❝  the plan is simple...which does not mean it will be easy to execute.  ❞ ❝  sometimes you really get on my nerves, you know.  ❞ ❝  you shall not turn on me, use what i say against me? you shall not tell anyone?  ❞ ❝  gave you a chance. should’ve taken it.  ❞ ❝  always better to do a bit more and even gain nothing by it,    than to do too little and face regret.  ❞ ❝  it’s lovely out here. the birds singing, the bees buzzing...blissful, really.  ❞ ❝  what a lovely dress. the color suits you exquisitely.  ❞ ❝  pretty fantastic tale. hard as hell to believe.  ❞ ❝  it’s time you discovered my romantic side.  ❞ ❝  you gotta understand the whole world doesn’t revolve around you.  ❞ ❝  can you not see i am out of my mind with worry?  ❞ ❝  every rose has its thorn, and there are no happy endings.  ❞ ❝  pretty quick to reject help. why is that?  ❞ ❝  don’t need to like each other. just gotta do our jobs.  ❞ ❝  frankly, if i can do something for you, i'll do it, willingly.  ❞ ❝  you were hired you kill me, were you not?  ❞ ❝  what’s it like, going toe to toe with a monster? knowing you’ve only two options --- to kill or be killed?  ❞ ❝  this place --- there’s evil here. death hangs in the air.  ❞ ❝  intellect counts as much as strength.  ❞ ❝  i run back inside, hasp the doors, and then i hear it --- someone whispering my name.  ❞ ❝  you know i like you. unlike the rest of this lot, you’ve got a good head on your shoulders.  ❞ ❝  if you love somebody, set them free.  ❞ ❝  if you hate me so deeply, why don’t you tell me to my face?  ❞ ❝  i’m afraid you’d not realize which way the wind was blowing if you pissed straight into it.  ❞ ❝  that was courageous. i'd never expect it from you.  ❞ ❝  i am not easily impressed, but i must admit you have succeeded, my dear.  ❞ ❝  kill me if you must. i’ve nothing to live for anyway.  ❞ ❝  aren’t you an extraordinary beauty.  ❞ ❝  never suspected you believed such things.  ❞ ❝  wait...you want to go with me? out of the question.  ❞ ❝  used to it. not the first time i’ve been hunted.  ❞ ❝  enough of this hesitation, this fretting, these feelings of guilt!  ❞ ❝  strange working with you. strange, but great.  ❞ ❝  give me a moment. i must don something more appropiate and concealing.  ❞ ❝  killing comes as naturally to me as blowing my nose.  ❞ ❝  ......   another tale of a life compromised and ultimately claimed by greed and ambition.  ❞ ❝  in the future, though, remember this --- i can look after myself  ❞ ❝  you'd really worry about me if i went on alone?  ❞ ❝  you have many merits. you merely hide them from the world very diligently.  ❞ ❝  is it true virtue always trumps villainy?  ❞ ❝  watch my movements. i’m spry as a cat and sly as a fox.  ❞ ❝  ah, if only this could last forever.  ❞ ❝  few i can rely on like i can on you. kinda hoping you think the same of me.  ❞ ❝  you are angry at the whole world. you feel inferior, feel pain, though you mask this with confidence, arrogance, even.  ❞ ❝  there exist worries for which there quite simply is no other medicine.  ❞ ❝  your bones look thin, your breathing’s wheezy. afraid one punch might kill you.  ❞ ❝  to love is to build a house of cards, or play a game of chess, but one word or ill-thought move and you must start it all afresh.  ❞ ❝  i’m doing what i ever wanted to do, being who i wanted to be. i believe that’s one definition of happiness.  ❞ ❝  you’ve not an ounce of refinement in you, have you?  ❞ ❝  pain rules the body, but fear is born in the heart.  ❞ ❝  either i get burned, or i’ll burn all else down. no other options.  ❞ ❝  should you decide your sword is the sole solution, i shall not stand in your way.  ❞ ❝  c’mon, come closer.  ❞ ❝  would you prefer i treated you like the lying manipulater you are?  ❞ ❝  i regret nothing. one lives but once.  ❞ ❝  i just hope this tale has a happy ending. for me, for you. for everyone.  ❞ ❝  just gonna go our seperate ways? no parting words?  ❞ ❝  you still stand to be quite useful to me.  ❞ ❝  i suppose you wanted to frighten me...alas, you didn’t in the least. after all, i’m a monster too, am i not?  ❞ ❝  i trust no one. learned that long ago.  ❞ ❝  it cannot be! you actually have a sense of humor.  ❞ ❝  didn’t ask for a lecture on probability. need a simple answer --- yes or no.  ❞ ❝  another word, and i shall spill even more blood. yours.  ❞ ❝  you feel resentment, i understand, but we shall work through all the unfortunate matters of the past.  ❞ ❝  stop playing dumb. i know everything...your plan.  ❞ ❝  honestly can’t see what all those dames see in you --- you’re a stick in the mud.  ❞ ❝  not showy, lovely location...perfect for romantic getaways.  ❞ ❝  i hope you’re not upset i came like this, without warning...  ❞ ❝  i’m still a long way from mastering anything. but i am trying.  ❞ ❝  now i know how you do it. just annoy your opponents to death.  ❞ ❝  word on the street is there’s a hefty bounty on your head.  ❞ ❝  for a few days now i’ve been having dizzy spells.  ❞ ❝  i’ve always had a way with ostensibly dangerous types.  ❞ ❝  wound doesn’t look good.    patch that up quick if i were you, before it starts festering.  ❞ ❝  always seemed to me you were a very complicated creature, by nature. not one to resort to such simple methods like drinking your worries away.  ❞ ❝  may i be honest? yes, i’m nervous. i really would prefer to just run off.  ❞ ❝  father always said a wise man learns from others’ mistakes, so here i am, learning from his.  ❞ ❝  ever since that horrid night...everything has changed.  ❞ ❝  what’s wrong? afraid? gut feeling queasy?  ❞ ❝  used to bother me, all your secrets...now i know if you have something to tell me, you’ll tell me.  ❞ ❝  i so don’t feel like going anywhere. sit here a while longer?  ❞ ❝  there’s something i’d like to know...how can you be so damned calm?  ❞ ❝  my knees quake like a carnival rattle.  ❞ ❝  honestly didn’t think this’d work. doubted anything would happen.  ❞

[dancingintheraindreamingonday]

A little wicked - Chapter 9

Author’s note: This will probably be the last chapter of my Bucky series. What a journey. Thanks to everyone!! 

Warning: Huge plot twist, that even I haven’t seen coming when I first wrote the story.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

„Do you wanna live in Delacroix?“, You ask Bucky as you set the table for dinner. 

“Why are you asking?”

“I saw how much you enjoyed your time there and we’re still looking for a house. So...why not looking there?” 

After you got kidnapped in your old house, Bucky refused to live there again. 

“I thought you loved the city life.” 

“I don’t really care anymore where we live as long as we live together.” 

��I’m really lucky to be your husband.“, Bucky kisses you but stoppes as he receives a call from Sam. „There was an attack at the GRC conference. Sam needs me.“

„Go. Be safe. And kick their asses.“, you smile weakly as Bucky leaves your flat. 

As soon as he left, you check your phone seeing the messages you received, warning you about the upcoming attack hours ago. 

After making sure that Alex is safe and he’s taken care of you leave your apartment as well. A car is already waiting for you, taking you to the building where the conference is being held.

~*~

You’re standing in the shadow watching Sharon, Bucky and Sam talking. You know that Sam and Bucky will have each other’s back. That’s why you only observe Sharon and eventually follow her. 

Batroc points a gun at Sharon demanding more money. Morgenthau points her gun at her too. 

You curse under your breath as you come out of your hiding and without any warning you shot Batroc straight in the head without shaking. Sharon and Morgenthau shot each other while the later is deadly injured. 

“You are a great actress, Sharon. I’m really impressed.”, you say as you put your gun away. 

“Why didn’t you tell me your plan? I warned your days before the kidnapping that they will come for you. I don’t understand it.”, Sharon got shot in her stomach, breathing hard. 

“I knew Hydra would come- sooner or later. They wanted Alex to experiment with. And I also knew Valentina would think you’re the Power Broker and wanted to work with you. Thats why I spoke on your answering machine. So that you could gain her trust. That James and Sam found it was a coincidence but you played along. Really good. So when they came to kidnapp me, I offered myself. And they couldn’t believe their luck. Pregnant, vice-director of Shield and the wife of the winter soldier. I knew they would take me and experiment with me with their last serum they got. The last serum because the others got stolen and I knew Zemo would kill the doctor eventually. They wasted their last serum on me without knowing I’m immune. And when they think you’re dying they tell you everything. I needed that information about Valentina. It was definitely worth it.”

You look on your watch.

“Sam will be here any minute so I better be going. You...” you look at Sharon “will stay here in the city. I have a little present for you in the next days. And you...” you look at Karli “You shouldn’t have stolen the serum from me. And you shouldn’t have fight James. Killing the other super soldier wasn’t my plan in the beginning. You’re just a means to an end.” 

You walk away and leave the hall before Sam sees you. 

~*~*~

Cameras and lot of people were standing and watching Sam reasoning and convincing the GRC. You pass the police officers as they prevent the crowd to come even closer. „Did you write that down first or was it off the top of your head? Spoken like the true Captain America.“, you smile as you walk to the men. „Ah. Director Barnes, good seeing you here. There’s lot to talk about after todays event.“ The man says after he shakes your right hand. „And we will.“, you lay your left hand on top of his while still shaking. „(Y/f/n), what are you doing here? Does Bucky know you’re here?“, Sam looks at you suspiciously. „SHIELD is always there where bad things happen.“, leaving the equivocation unanswered. 

„Excuse me, I need to make sure that the remaining terrorist are safely escorted to jail.“, and with that you turn around but not walking to the cars where the rebels are in but to another car in the shadow. A man walks up to you with a little device in his hand that looks very similar to a remote. „Thanks, Stan. Good work. See you later.“ You say as you take the device and walk further. You knock at the car window and open it. „Do you want me to press the button or do you want to do it yourself?“, you say in perfect German. „I’ll do it on my own.“, answers the man in the car, taking the device and presses the button. The explosion is huge and lightens up the inside of the car your inside. „Good. Very good. We’re even.“, says the man. You smile knowing that James is finally off Zemo’s list. You sacrificed the flag smashers for James, but you don’t feel any remorse. You would do anything to protect your family. 

~*~*~

„(Y/f/n)!“, James shouts. He’s running and looking for you in panic. „James, I’m here.“, you scream back as you run in his direction. „God, (y/f/n), what the fuck are you doing here?! It isn’t safe here for you. For you both.“ Bucky looks at you and on your stomach. „When Sam told me you were here and the car exploded, I thought… I thought…“ He can’t finish the sentence and you hug him tightly. „I’m sorry. I didn’t want to scare you. I’m here as a representative for SHIELD.“

„Sharon’s here. I’ve heard she will stay in town.“, Bucky grunts still not forgiving her. „I know. I forgave her. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trusting her, but I know the bad influence Madripoor has on people. Maybe she will change.“, you lie.

„Your kindness always amazes me.“, says Bucky as he kisses your head. 

~*~*~

Three days later you open the door to your office. A small brown package is on your desk. You open it and as you realize what it is you can’t help but smile. Inside of the package was the book „The prince“ by Machiavelli. It’s the same book you sent Zemo some time ago. You open it and see Zemo’s graceful handwriting One is controlled but the other is still standing

You know immediately who Zemo is referring to. Bucky and Walker.

When you found out that HYDRA is working on the serum again, and when you stole it and then the flag smashers sole it from you, you knew it was just a question of time till Zemo will be out of jail and take a side. And you wanted him to be on yours. So you visited him and made sure that you both are on the same page- that the other super soldiers have to die but not James. You made clear that Bucky wasn’t a threat. That he’s broken trying to make amend for his killing. That he has settled and there is no need for Zemo to kill Bucky. And Zemo liked you- you were both born in Leipzig and you both had difficulties to cope with loss. Two smart minds wanting to destroy the serum.

You take the book to your bookshelf making a mental note to visit Zemo in the Raft.

Someone knocks at your door. Sharon Carter. 

„They offered me full pardon.“, says Carter as she walks into your office. „I know.“ You say. „I wrote the text that the senator read aloud.“ 

„So, I’ll be working in my old division?“, asks Sharon. „No. Thats not happening, Sharon.“, you laugh.

„But I’ve got you a job that’s even better. You will work for SWORD. Its an extra-governmental intelligence agency. Probably you’ve heard about them. Their former leader Hayward was a pain in the ass. Like Pierce 2.0. I’ve heard Fury wants to work there and because of his relationship with Valentina, I’m not trusting him at the moment. So you will work there and keep an eye on everyone. Oh and I hope you told your assistant that the super soldiers are off the menu. But there are other things we can offer.“

„I already called her about that. But there is still one question I have. How did you become director?“

You smile wickedly. „Well, the arrogance of men never ceases to amaze me. When Sam gave the shield away it was just a question of time till they demand a new Captain America. And everyone wanted John Walker. Received three Medals of honor, good looking and a soldier who does everything  what is commanded than rather what is right. I didn’t like him. James told me years ago, that you can see madness in people’s eyes and man, his eyes were full with madness. So I didn’t agree with the board but the director and vice-director both has to agree. So I made them an offer. I told them that for this voting they can outvote me if everyone on the board agrees with our director. And if Walker does his job well I will leave my position. But if he fails, I will be the new director. All they did was laugh at me. They of course outvoted me and they even planned my goodbye-party. And I just waited and waited. And with Walker being so unstable I didn’t waited for long. And now I’m here and the director is gone and most of the board members as well. Arrogance is dangerous. Never estimate your opponent.“

„So where is Walker now?“

„I’m not sure but I’m pretty certain that he’s with Valentina and they are up to no good. Valentina wants James dead and Walker wants Sam dead because Sam is the new and definitely the better Captain America.“

~*~*~

A week later, you, Bucky and Alex are sitting in the car heading to Sam’s home town. The letter from Tony is laying in your purse. The envelope is still sealed but the answer in it isn’t unknown to you. You’ve known the answer for years, never telling anyone, not even James. People would be intimated if they’d known your heritage- your dad’s and your mom’s. And you learned that being an intimating woman only makes men defensive and its hard to work with them. Men need to feel strong and useful and that’s your strength. You always know how to make men feel that way around you, even it it’s just an illusion and even now that you’re the director they don’t feel intimated and that makes them careless and easy to read. 

„I never felt so much happiness than in this moment right now. It feels like a new chapter is starting.“, you grin at Bucky caressing his cheek. His five o’clock shadow tickles you and he leans against your hand. 

„Falling in love with you in Bucharest seems like so long ago. It’s been so difficult, James. This is a dream come true. Having a normal life with you is all I’ve ever wanted.“

Bucky stops the car in the middle of the road. He bends over you, kissing you possessively and pressing you against your car door. „You’re my home, (y/f/n). You’re my constant, my hope, my life and my family. Being loved by you is the greatest gift.“ He kisses you again, trailing soft kisses on your neck. 

You giggle freely and even though it arouses you tremendously you stop Bucky. „No sex in the car, while Alex is still here.“

Bucky grins playfully as he starts the car. „We will continue this later.“ 

~*~*~

Sam’s hometown celebrates the new Captain America and as Bucky arrives they also celebrates him as the white wolf. 

You danced and talked and ate and forgot everything you’ve ever done for the sake of your family until you receive a text message from Stan, who is securing the surrounding. Fury’s on his way to Delacroix. Accompanied by Hill and Dave. 2 minutes.

Dave is a co-worker of you. Of course he doesn’t know anything but his betrayal angers you anyway and there will be consequences.

„Is that Fury? What is he doing here? And why does he look so angry?“, asks Bucky Sam. Bucky hands you Alex over, who was relaxing on Bucky’s shoulders and both men are walking up to him, ignoring or maybe just forgetting that it is you who holds the most power and the reason for Fury’s visit. 

Everyone is underestimating you just like you’ve always wanted. 

  @inlovewith3 @jackiehollanderr @homesicam@dreamydreamerwriting @losers-club6 @gengen64@agentsofsheilds @crimson-darling @akkinda10 @xemine@bubblegumholland @chipilerendi @iamasimpingh0e @bbmommy0902 @madddiiee26 @teenagedreams-bucky @aya-fay @idontknowwhatthisisfam @w-wolfhxrd @useless-creature-213   @angywritesstuff @supernaturalcat7 @harrys-stan @geek-and-proud @pastel-boy-sungjae @austynparksandpizza @maxsaturdayhatesnarwhals  @teenagedreams-bucky @auds24 @ah-blossom @supraveng @lady-loki-ren @freakyhood96 @bbl32

[what-the--curtains]

Not a Piece of Art

(Javier Peña x f!reader)

Part 5 - Revelations in the Moonlight

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Summary: Will Javier reach you in time? That is if he’s coming at all.

Notes: sorry this keeps getting longer and longer! This is the second to last part I hope y’all enjoy it (if not let me know how to improve!) 💕🌻✨

Tw: 18+ (NO MINORS ALLOWED) Violence, blood, language, nudity.

Tagged: @agingerindenial @diogodxlot @trash-dino-5000

Words: 3.7k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your eyes flutter open as you feel flecks of cold water bounce off your cheek. Your pupils dilate into the fluorescent lighting bearing down on you, and a dull throb begins at the base of your skull. You go to rub the ache, but your hands are tugged backwards at the movement causing your shoulders to stretch around the pillar you were currently being tied to. Your eyes scan the area landing on the two men from earlier who stand guard at the doors of what you assume must be the mansion's basement.

“Carlos...What the fuck is going on?” you rasp out, miraculously remembering to maintain your accent.

“I could ask you the same question?” he snarls. Feeling his meaning you hold your tongue, waiting to see what he knows. “You know why you’re here?” He asks, taking a sinister step towards you.

“Carlos I can honestly say, I don’t have the foggiest,” you respond, the metallic taste in your mouth worsening the growing nausea caused by the lights.

“The painting, the one you gave me, was stopped at the border yesterday. The first time it’s happened in years. Some of my best men were taken, they're dead now of course. Loose ends have to be tied up. The painting, and its components were taken by the DEA. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that would you?” he snarls. You do your best to maintain your facade, though a panic has set in. “Still not getting it?” he queries, taking your face between his hands forcing your eyes up to him. “Maybe you are as dumb as you look. Let's try a different approach, shall we? Why would this painting be stopped? After years without issue, then you show up and in one day, our program has been compromised.” he continues, letting go of your cheeks and swinging your head out to the side as he walks back over to his desk.

“Statistics dictate…. “ you start, not turning back to face.

“Shut up!” he shouts, slamming his hand down onto the desk, causing your body to flinch into the stone pillar.

“Carlos let me go, I do not know what happened or what was with those paintings, I thought they were for your friend. Why were they taken?” You try and reason frantically.

“See I do not know that, my wifes convinced you're too convenient, and after today I’d have to agree. Ohhh…” he tuts in mocking sympathy, noticing the waiver in your voice “Don't worry cariño, all shall be revealed soon, I wouldn’t dare keep you in suspense. I had a man deliver a message to your supposed husband. He has 15 minutes to show up here alone or we kill you.” he states flatly, pulling a small pistol out of his desk, checking the barrel.

You swallow, leaning your head back against the pillar, 15 minutes, that's how long it was from the DEA’s main office to the house. That's how long it would take for a SWAT team to get here and catch Carlos, but not to save you. A cleverly crafted plan, no doubt administered by Helena, heavens knows Carlos wasn't capable. You can’t help but let out a tiny laugh, as you blink back tears, making your peace as you prepared to meet your maker. If there was one thing you knew about Peña it was that he would do anything to catch Escobar.

“Five minutes left darling, any last minute confessions?” He says now inches away, staring down at you.

“Carlos, please, I didn't do this.” you beg, playing your final hand.

“We shall see. A shame to waste such beauty, but ….” He brushes your cheekbone with the gun and you close your eyes. They open as the sound of doors swinging open echoes throughout the basement. Looking towards the sound you see a sweaty and enraged Peña emerging. You’d never more happy to be seeing his stupid face. You exhale shakily cursing yourself for nearly bursting into tears when his eyes meet yours. Immediately he starts towards you, one of the men places a hand on his chest, but a swift uppercut breaks the guys nose and the other two henchmen retract allowing him to make his way behind you.

“Are you hurt, my love?” he asks, frantically untying your wrists that were rubbed raw from where you had worked to free them. You shake your head no. He unties your hands and you feel yourself unravel with the cord, as your entire system begins to shut down. “I’ve got you” he whispers, as you fall into his arms.

“Now, friend, come let us chat for a moment,” Carlos says, almost as surprised as you that Javi had shown up.

“No, I don't talk with people who kidnap the only thing in my life that matters” he spits, hooking his arm under yours and starting slowly towards the door. You're almost out when you hear the unmistakable sound of the safety being turned off. You both turn to see Carlos aiming the gun at you.

“You passed information?” he sneers more of a question than a statement.

“Think Carlos,” he snarls through gritted teeth, “You never gave me any information,you asked for a painting and we provided, you never told me more.” After a few minutes you hear Carlos click the safety back into place as he lowers his weapon.

“You’re right. We thought perhaps we had been infiltrated but it seems like someone else has been leaking information. My wife was wrong for the last time.” he mutters, tossing the gun back into its drawer.

“We’re free to go then?” Javi fumes, the rage he felt towards Carlos seeping out of every pore. With a curt nod, the two men clear the door and Javi scoops you up and carries you out the house and down across the beach where the moon had risen high. You look over his shoulder, and back towards the house. You make out Helena's outline on the balcony watching you as you leave.

“I should have gone with you” he whispers as he places you down onto your feet at the front step so he can open the door. You waiver for a moment, but you're quickly steadied by Peñas hand supporting your waist as you lean into him. He hadn’t had time to assess the damage but the moonlight illuminated the blood coming from your lip and forehead. Wounds caused by his incompetence, by his failure to assess the situation.

“Then we'd both be dead” you respond walking into the kitchen and stupidly lifting yourself up onto the counter, the movement causing every ounce of your body to exude with pain, eyes watering as a result. Despite your attempt to mask your pain, it did not go unnoticed by Javi. Based on everything he knew about you, he figured you’d try and play down your injuries, but based on your expressions he knew the visible blood wasn’t the only damage done.

‘Hey, don't strain yourself,” he says, watching you grimace when you lean over to take off your shoes. You go to shift off the counter. “No, don't move now, you're already up there,” he continues, bending down and taking off the shoes for you, tossing them to the side before rummaging through the cabinet for the first aid kit. He passes you the bottle of tequila that was blocking the kit. You bring it to your lips, hoping it would help mask some of your pain.

“We have to get you to a hospital” he says, as he tilts your head gently from side to side seeing darkening areas around your forehead. Dried blood covered your hairline and your mouth.

“No then the mission will be ruined, beside i'm still breathing and no blood’s been coughed up, so nothing’s punctured” you murmur, your breathing was fine as well, albeit painful, but no wheezing. There was nothing that needed immediate care.

“What?” he says, glancing down to your side, increasingly concerned with each passing comment. Your eyes dart up to the ceiling, not wanting to burden him anymore than you already had “Show me.” he demands softly.

“It's fine Javi,” you try and reason, not wanting to put any additional stress on the man, knowing he’d already be blaming himself for your injuries.

“Show me,” he repeats, firm this time, but his eyes softer than you’d ever seen them, “that's an order” he muses, causing you to roll your eyes.

“It hurts to lift my arms” you admit, he nods and slowly removes the straps of the dress pulling it down to your waist immediately identifying a concerning dark patch covering your entire left side. You didn't look down, you knew it was probably internal bleeding but, you didn't want that information to get back to Javi.

“Jesus fucking christ,” he whispers, amazed that you were still conscious let alone rolling your eyes at him. He pulls out a bag of ice from the freezer wrapping it in a tea towel and placing it gently on your side.

“Hold that there for a second,” he says, turning back to the freezer for more ice.

“He's going to kill Helena, we should try and get her out” you reason, shifting the ice around.

“How hard do you hit your head querida?” He laughs “She's the one who ratted us out and you're worried about her?” He continues, bringing the ice up to your forehead. You shrug wincing as your side is inadvertently pulled on by the motion. “For someone with such an ability to hold a grudge you're certainly very forgiving when you want to be”

“C’mon Peña, you know she's doing it to survive, she doesn't deserve to die. Besides she may have information she's willing to trade ” you offer, Helena was no angel, but she was definitely useful.

“After what they did to you? They don’t deserve to live, not in my book,.” he says, placing the ice back down on the counter as he takes a damp cloth and begins to wipe some of the blood off your face. You laugh, presuming he’s kidding, but when you look at him, he's not laughing, there's no trace of humour on his face. His head’s down as he wipes your face. He looks... vulnerable, visibly upset by what's happened to you, almost like he cared about you. Had he this whole time and you were too busy being angry at him to notice? Angry about something so stupid in the grand scheme of things. His eyes meet yours and you find your answer, their softness only confirming your current feeling.

“What wrong querida?” he asks, his free hand caressing your cheek. Your hearts beating out of your chest. How can he not hear it? You're sure everyone within a 50 mile radius could. You bring your hand up to his pressing it against your cheek hoping to convey the sudden onslaught of feelings you were having. He stares back into your eyes, not willing to try anything without your full permission, a hand hold wasn’t enough. It wasn’t the proof he needed to kiss you like he'd been wanting to for the past four weeks, hell, the past year.

You drop your hands and run them along his shoulders encouraging him forward. He doesn't drop the ice he's holding to your side, and using his free hand he pulls you closer to him. Your faces now centimeters apart and each of your breaths shallower than the next.

“Kiss me,” you whisper.

“What about the contract?” he says, making sure this was what you wanted.

“Fuck the contract,” you say and with that you press a gentle kiss to his lips, pulling away when you don’t feel him kiss back. You keep your eyes closed wondering if you had misread his meaning? His thumb traces over your split lip gently pulling your chin towards him for a deeper kiss, warm . You smile into it and he goes to close the gap between. Lost in the moment, his grip becomes rougher than intended and he feels you flinch away from him.

“Fuck, i'm sorry,” he says, pulling back and placing a kiss on the area before reapplying the ice

“We should get you to bed, before I do any serious damage” he says, and you nod your head in agreement, allowing him to carry you back to the room bridal style. He places you on the bed, but noticing the blood stuck in your hair he makes you an offer you can't refuse.

“You wanna wash that blood out of your hair? Might make you feel better,” he says. You nod silently, too tired to speak, and Javi leaves to run you a bath. He helps you lower yourself into the tub and begins to rinse the blood out your hair, hands slowly massaging your scalp and running down from roots to end the runoff staining the water a light pink. He glances down and sees your eyes staring up at him, your lips pursed slightly, silently hoping he’d read your mind and kiss you again.

“Gotta stop looking at me like that” he chuckles, and you let out a small grunt.

“You want something darling?” he asks, and you extend your neck out, parting your lips expectedly causing him to smile “you want more kisses cariño? From me? They gonna make you feel better?” He asks.

You nod causing him to grin as he washes the last of the blood out of your hair before leaning down to pepper your lips with light kisses pulling back and chuckling at the small humph you make in his absence.

“What?” you murmur sleepily

“Last thing I thought i'd get to do was kiss you” he admits, turning off the shower head.

“You thought about it a lot, Peña?” you tease, feeling better now you weren't plastered in your own blood.

“Every day,” he confesses “every time I’d walk into your lab and you’d ignore me,” He continues lifting you up out of the tub and toweling you off.

“You want pyjamas?” he asks.

“Just want to sleep” you murmur, shaking off the towel and crawling under the linen sheets.

“Okay i'll get the lights, call me if you need anything, i'll just be next door,” he says, preparing to sleep on the couch.

“Javi…” you whisper, as the lights go out.

“Yes” he responds, turning around, overjoyed at the sound of his first name coming from your lips.

“Stay with me” you plead,

“As long as you want,” he says, crawling in under the sheets with you allowing you to settle around him comfortably, not closing his own eyes until the faint sound of your snoring starts up.

You shoot up in bed as the sound of gunshots ring out through the night. You turn quickly and see the imprint of where Javi had been before you fell asleep. Stumbling out the bed, you grab a nearby lamp, the pain from your side dulled by the adrenaline coursing through your veins as you descend the stairs.

“Javi” you whisper-yell frantically, wielding the lamp as you turn the corner. You breathe a sigh of relief when you see his figure on the balcony, placing the lamp down on the counter. The sound causes Javi to turn around and he rushes towards you grabbing you by the shoulder.

“What was the gunshot? Are you okay?” you ask running your hands over him scanning for an entry wound.

“Im fine dulzura, im fine. Go back to bed,” he whispers, with a tone indicating that everything was not fine.

“Helena?” you ask eyes wide.

“I don’t know” he lies, “We'll figure it out tomorrow.” he continues trying to sooth you, despite knowing exactly who was at the other end of that bullet.

“Tomorrow?” you whisper.

“If we go over there now, he’ll kill us both, if he's not already on his way to do it now. Go back into the bedroom, lock the door, do not open it for anyone. I'll keep watch” he says, more serious than you’d ever heard him.

“Stay with me.” you plead, not willing to lose Javi now that you had him.

“No, they put me with you to keep you safe, that’s what I'm going to do, that's what you're going to let me do.” he says, escorting your back up the stairs to the bedroom, not leaving until he hears the lock click into place.

Your eyes open as the mid morning sun seeps in through the cracks of the curtains reminding you of the events from the night prior. Quietly, but quickly, you get out of bed and unlock the door, holding your breath as you tip-toe down the stairs, turning the corner you exhale upon seeing Peña sitting on a chair gun in hand facing the door. He glances at you once, then again, he was over tired and on edge from being up all night.

“You should get some sleep, I'll keep an eye out,” you offer, going over to him and taking the gun from his hand, placing it down on the coffee table.

“How are the ribs?” he asks, reaching back for the gun.

“Broken, but fine,” you say, grabbing his hand in yours to stop it.

“That’s an oxymoron, you need to see a doctor,” he responds rubbing his thumb over your knuckles

“And you need to sleep, If he hasn’t killed us yet I think we're in the clear,'' you say, beginning to pull him up. He gives in and gets up himself, knowing you're only making your ribs worse. He lifts your chin and sleepily kisses you before heading off into the bedroom, leaving you with a gun that you didn't know how to use. You begin to cook breakfast leaving a plate in the fridge for Javi when he wakes up, you hoped the DEA would be extracting you soon. The situation was already volatile, you didn't want it to become explosive when the second painting was stopped. As you're cleaning up the dishes you hear a faint knock at the door. Your heart drops, and you look over to the door, letting out a shaky breath as you place the pan down in the sink. You open the door to Carlos who's standing before you looking charismatic as ever. You want to call out for Peña but you know it'll only make the situation more suspicious.

“Carlos,” you say taking a step back, crossing your arms over your chest

“You did not go to the hospital?” he asks, eyes scanning over your body as he speaks

“We don’t trust hospitals,” you offer up.

“Or the police? Kidnapping is a very serious crime after all.” he muses, smiling down at you.

“If we don’t trust hospitals, why would we go to the police? They’re a bunch of incompetent fuckers. Besides, they don’t need to know about the counterfeit work I've been doing on the side,” you offer, as you hear the sound of Javi descending the stairs. It had only been a moment but it felt like forever when Javi finally showed up at your side, quickly putting distance between you and Carlos.

“Get out. You may have built this house but we bought it, leave.” he spits

“Listen…” Carlos chides.

“You think you can break my wifes ribs and I will welcome you back with open arms? That I would listen to you, no, no, no….” he laughs.

“Darling... '' you say, trying to get his attention, but he's not done.

“Get out, do not come back, we’ll be moving shortly. As I said before we like to keep decent company and it seems we’ve run out of it here.”

“Darling.. that’s quite enough, Carlos apologies please do go on.” You interject. You can practically see the steam coming off Javi when you say it, his eyes wide as he turns back to face you.

“Thank you querida, I came to offer my sincerest apologies, I was mistaken in my belief that you were federal, misinformation is like a disease. It festers, rots your brain, I let Helena rot mine. As a result we will be moving for a time, we suggest you two do the same, police will be sniffing around here soon enough”

“Wait” you say, exiting into your art room returning shortly after with the portrait “here. The last counterfeit you had asked for, it rough but passable. Think of it as a farewell gift” He takes it and just like that he was gone, out of your lives for good.

*************************************************

The two of you sit in the uncomfortable blue plastic chairs in the ER’s waiting room, you'd been there for a few hours now, mainly sitting in silence, still trying to process what was going on.

“She's dead because of us,” you finally whisper out, Helena hadn’t left your mind since the gunshots had sung out last night, “We could have tried to get her out, she could have had information,”

“Then the whole operation would be gone, and this all would have been for nothing,” Javi responds in an attempt to unburden you of your guilt. He wanted to wrap his arms around you and pull you into him, to kiss your pain away, but you were back to the real world and the rules were different here, less clear to him.

“She was telling the truth and she still died. Do you realize how fucked up that is,” you state, emotionlessly staring off into space unable to process how you were feeling, or not wanting to, knowing it could result in everything flooding out of you.

“It’s just part of the job, they think the paintings can be linked to Escobar which is the only thing that matters.The only thing good that came out of all this pain is that were one step closer to catching the bastard” he reassures, not realizing the meaning of the words he was speaking.

“The only thing Javi?”, you question, unable to believe that everything between you had meant nothing to him.

“Ya, the only thing, in the end,” he says, turning just in time to catch the look on your face, only then realizing what he was implying. He opens his mouth to explain that what he had just said was not what he meant, but the doctor calls your name and you stand up quickly, walking ahead leaving him in the dust. He looks from the chair then to the exit, weighing his options.

[myfanwymusings]

TAYLOR SWIFT / EVERMORE

The following is a collection of lyric sentence starters from Taylor Swift’s ninth studio album evermore. Some lyrics have been slightly modified for ease of role-playing. Feel free to change any tense or pronouns. May contain mature content. This has been reposted from my old blog.

WILLOW

I’m rough on the surface, but you cut through like a knife

If it was an open-shut case I never would have known from the look on your face

Lost in your current like a priceless wine

The more that you say, the less I know

Wherever you stray, I follow

I'm begging for you to take my hand

I'm begging for you

I can feel you sneaking in

There was one prize I'd cheat to win

They count me out time and time again

Anywhere else is hollow

That's my man

I come back stronger than a '90s trend

Wait for the signal, and I'll meet you after dark

I'll meet you after dark

Show me the places where the others gave you scars

This is an open-shut case

I should’ve known from the look on your face

Hey, that's my man

Yeah, that's my man  

CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS

You booked the night train for a reason

Your heart was glass, I dropped it

You told your family for a reason

You dropped my hand while dancing, left me out there standing

Love slipped beyond your reaches and I couldn't give a reason

This dorm was once a madhouse

Well, it's made for me

Soon they'll have the nerve to deck the halls that we once walked through

I never was ready so I watch you go

She would've made such a lovely bride, what a shame she's fucked in the head

Sometimes you just don't know the answer til someone's on their knees and asks you

You won't remember all my champagne problems  

GOLD RUSH

I don't like a gold rush

I don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch

Everybody wants you

Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you

What must it be like to grow up that beautiful?

I can't dare to dream about you anymore

My mind turns your life into folklore

I won't call you out on your contrarian shit

‘TIS THE DAMN SEASON

If I wanted to know who you were hanging with while I was gone, I would have asked you

There's an ache in you, put there by the ache in me

But if it's all the same to you it's the same to me

You could call me "babe" for the weekend

We could call it even

Remember how you watched me leave

You can run, but only so far

And the road not taken looks real good now

Hear me out, we could just ride around

The road not taken looks real good now and it always leads to you in my hometown

I won't ask you to wait if you don't ask me to stay

I wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles I'm faking'

The heart I know I'm breaking' is my own

Even though I'm leaving' and I'll be yours for the weekend

​'Tis the damn season

TOLERATE IT

I notice everything you do or don't do

You're so much older and wiser

If it's all in my head tell me now

Tell me I've got it wrong somehow

I know my love should be celebrated but you tolerate it

I take your indiscretions all in good fun

I made you my temple, my mural, my sky - now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life

I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life

You assume I'm fine, but what would you do if I break free and leave us in ruins?

Believe me, I could do it

NO BODY, NO CRIME

He did it

Her husband's actin' different, and it smells like infidelity

That ain't my Merlot on his mouth. That ain't my jewelry on our joint account

I think I'm gonna call him out

No, there ain't no doubt

I think he did it, but I just can't prove it

No body, no crime

I ain't letting' up until the day I die

Good thing my daddy made me get a boating license when I was fifteen

I've cleaned enough houses to know how to cover up a scene

She was with me, dude

They think she did it, but they just can't prove it

Good thing his mistress took out a big life insurance policy

I wasn't letting' up until the day he died

HAPPINESS

I see this for what it is

All the years I've given is just shit we're dividing' up

I can't face reinvention

There will be happiness after you

There was happiness because of you

Haunted by the look in my eyes that would've loved you for a lifetime

Tell me, when did your winning smile begin to look like a smirk?

I hope she'll be your beautiful fool, who takes my spot next to you

No, I didn't mean that

Sorry, I can't see facts through all of my fury

You haven't met the new me yet

There will be happiness after me

There was happiness because of me

I can't make it go away by making you a villain

I pulled your body into mine every goddamn night, now I get fake niceties

No one teaches you what to do when a good man hurts you and you know you hurt him, too

All you want from me now is the green light of forgiveness

After giving you the best I had, tell me what to give after that?

All you want from me now is the green light of forgiveness. You haven't met the new me yet and I think she'll give you that

DOROTHEA

Do you ever stop and think about me?

A tiny screen's the only place I see you now

I got nothing but well-wishes for ya

This place is the same as it ever was but you don't like it that way

It's never too late to come back to my side

You're a queen selling' dreams, selling' makeup and magazines

From you I'd buy anything

But are you still the same soul I met under the bleachers?

I guess I'll never know

If you're ever tired of being known for who you know, you'll always know me.

CONEY ISLAND

If I can't relate to you anymore then who am I related to?

And if this is the long haul how'd we get here so soon?

Did I close my fist around something delicate?

Did I shatter you?

Sorry for not making you my centerfold

What's a lifetime of achievement if I pushed you to the edge but you were too polite to leave me?

Do you miss the rogue who coaxed you into paradise and left you there?

Will you forgive my soul when you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?

We were like the mall before the internet

Were you waiting at our old spot: in the tree line by the gold clock?

Did I leave you hanging every single day?

When I got into the accident the sight that flashed before me was your face

IVY

Your touch brought forth an incandescent glow, tarnished but so grand

I just sit here and wait, grieving for the living

My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand

My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand taking mine, but it's been promised to another

Stop you putting roots in my dreamland

I wish to know the fatal flaw that makes you long to be magnificently cursed

Your opal eyes are all I wish to see

I'd live and die for moments that we stole

What would he do if he found us out?

Dare to sit and watch what we'll become

It's a goddamn blaze in the dark and you started it

It's the goddamn fight of my life and you started it  

COWBOY LIKE ME

Dancing' is a dangerous game

I'm never gonna love again  

I've got some tricks up my sleeve

Takes one to know one

Never wanted love, just a fancy car

You're a cowboy like me

I’m telling all the rich folks anything they wanna hear

You're a bandit like me

Never thought I'd meet you here

We could be the way forward and I know I'll pay for it

The skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up

The old men that I've swindled really did believe I was the one

Now you hang from my lips like the Gardens of Babylon

Forever is the sweetest con  

LONG STORY SHORT

I tried to pick my battles 'til the battle picked me

I was in the alley, surrounded on all sides

Long story short, it was a bad time

If the shoe fits, walk in it 'til your high heels break

I clung to the nearest lips and long story short, it was the wrong guy

Now I'm all about you

Actually, I always felt I must look better in the rear view - missing me.

If someone comes at us, this time, I'm ready

No more keeping' score, now I just keep you warm

Past me, I wanna tell you not to get lost in these petty things

Your nemeses will defeat themselves before you get the chance to swing

He feels like home

Long story short, I survived  

MARJORIE

Never be so kind you forget to be clever

Never be so clever you forget to be kind

If I didn't know better I'd think you were talking to me now

If I didn't know better I'd think you were still around

You're alive in my head

What died didn't stay dead

You're alive, so alive

Never be so polite you forget your power

Nevеr wield such power you forget to be polite

I should've asked you questions

Should've kept every grocery store receipt cause every scrap of you would be taken from me

I know better but you're still around

I still feel you all around  

CLOSURE

It's been a long time and seeing the shape of your name still spells out pain

Yes, I'm doing better

I don't need your closure

Yes, I got your letter

Don't treat me like some situation that needs to be handled

I'm fine with my spite and my tears, and my beers and my candles

I know I'm just a wrinkle in your new life

Staying friends would iron it out so nice

EVERMORE

Gray November, I've been down since July

I replay my footsteps on each stepping stone trying to find the one where I went wrong

I couldn't be sure

I had a feeling so peculiar that this pain would be for evermore

Guess I'm feeling unmoored

Can't remember what I used to fight for

Can't not think of all the cost and the things that will be lost

To be certain, we'll be tall again

Is there a line that I could just go cross?

And when I was shipwrecked I thought of you

It was real enough to get me through

I dreamed of you

I swear you were there

I had a feeling so peculiar, this pain wouldn't be for evermore  

RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME

Friends break up

I'm right where you left me

Help

I'm still at the restaurant

I swear you could hear a hair pin drop

What a sad sight...

I felt the moment stop

They expected me to find perspective

Everybody moved on, but I stayed there

You left me no choice

You left me no choice but to stay here forever

Did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen?

Time went on for everyone else

Did you hear about the girl who lives in delusion?

Breakups happen every day

I was still the one you wanted

If our love died young, I can't bare witness

If you ever think you got it wrong, I'm right where you left me

IT'S TIME TO GO

He's insisting that friends look at each other like that

The words of a sister come back in whispers

She's a crook that was caught

She was not in fact what she seemed

You know when it's time to go

Twenty years at that job, then the boss of the son gets the spot....

Keeping it how it was will only break hearts worse

Sometimes giving up is the strong thing

Sometimes walking out is the one thing that will find you the right thing

Sometimes to run is the brave thing

I gave my all

He gave me nothing at all

He's got my past frozen behind glass but I've got me

You will know in your soul that it's time to go

[everybodyscupoftea]

Hi can you please write something angsty for frat!jj when they’re already dating. Something where he has to fight for her. Idk you pick the scenario 😂

kinda mentioned this scenario in this post about the reader being clingy, so i’ll go more into it now!

super easy for me to write because this has happened to me hahaha i love men :)

warnings: cursing, lack of editing

jj’s big brother had a date with a girl in one of his classes and he was nervous about it, so he asked jj if the two of you would go on a double date with them to help carry conversation.

you agreed, kind of excited because it was your first double date as a couple (not including the one with cody and tyler that was technically a crashed date). on top of that the restaurant was really fancy, and not one jj would normally pick but his big wanted to shell out, so jj agreed.

while you were getting ready, your roommate came and sat on your bed to watch you do your makeup and catch up. you were squirming a bit, in excitement, and after telling you about her classes, she sighed, “okay, gush about your date.”

so you did, “he’s great, things are going amazing. i’ve honestly never felt like this before.”

she was smiling softly at you and your face heated up, “what?”

“nothing. this is just cute, like you’ve been crushing on him for so long, it’s nice to see.”

before you could respond, your phone started ringing, interrupting your music, and you smiled at seeing jj’s name.

“hey, bub,” you answered, setting down your mascara wand.

“hey, babe. i’m so sorry, but our other couple bailed and i’m not feeling too good. would you mind if i called in and cancelled the reservation.”

“oh,” you deflated a little, “yeah, that’s okay. you want me to get something delivered to the house?”

“no, i’m probably just going to sleep it off.”

“okay, that’s fine. let me know how you’re doing when you wake up, yeah?”

“yeah. thanks for understanding, sweetheart.”

“anytime,” you whispered, dropping the phone from your ear as soon as you heard the dial tone.

your roommate got up from the bed and wrapped her arm around you, “what happened?”

“jj’s coming down with something, so he cancelled. guess i’m here alone for the evening.”

she frowned, “i’m so sorry, dude, i’d hang out with you but i made plans already. you good to stay alone? i’m sure they’d be chill with you coming to dinner with us?”

“nah, i’m good, promise.”

so she left to get ready and you changed out of your nice outfit for leggings and a t-shirt. wrapping yourself in a blanket, you parked it on the couch, ordered pizza, and put on a movie for then night.

weirdly jj texted you around 10 p.m. apologizing, and you frowned, sending back.

it’s all good, you can’t control it or anything

-

it didn’t come up again until a few weeks later when cody, tyler, and you were eating burritos at a place off campus. cody was ragging on tyler for a shitty night he had in a house video game tournament.

“yeah, like you did any better, jj swept the whole fucking house.”

“he got lucky,” cody defended, “he wasn’t even supposed to take part in it anyway.”

you laughed, “both of you guys just suck. when was this? i’m shocked jj didn’t brag about it immediately.”

tyler chewed a bit of burrito with a shrug, “i don’t know, like maybe 3 friday’s ago?”

you frowned and took out your phone, scrolling back through your texts to see the timestamp of the friday he cancelled on you. it was three weeks. your chest ached a little, but you tried to hide your disappointment when you answered, “oh, gotcha.”

cody didn’t process your tone change, but tyler gave you a look. he frowned, “wait, what’s up?”

“oh, nothing. i just, are you sure that was the night?”

“yeah,” cody said, mid-bite.

“is something wrong?” tyler asked.

“yeah, i just, i thought he was sick that night?” you mumbled.

“nope, maybe he was saturday, we drank a lot that night, but friday he was all good,” tyler told you, looking confused.

“oh, well, we were supposed to go on a date, but he cancelled super last minute.”

“that would explain the last minute join,” cody responded, not looking up. 

tyler, looking at you, elbowed him and hissed, “dude, shut the fuck up.”

“what?” cody asked, defensively.

when tyler elbowed him again, cody looked up and caught sight of your face. it must’ve had a weird look because cody shoved his food away and reached for your hand, “wait what did you just say?”

“we had plans that night. he told me he was sick.”

tyler sighed, “oh fuck, that’s not good.”

-

cody drove the three of you back to the house in relative silence, interrupted infrequently by empty threats from tyler. jj was sitting in the living room when you got there, looking up when you walked in and narrowly ducking to avoid getting hit by the burrito tyler threw at his head.

“what the fuck?” jj asked with a laugh, “gotta give me a heads up. normally people do so by yelling hands.”

tyler didn’t laugh. he and cody stood on opposite sides of you, each with an arm around your shoulders, and jj stood up, looking concerned. tyler took a small step in forward, “great advice, next time i’ll throw harder.”

jj furrowed his eyebrows, “is something wrong?”

“i don’t know, maybank, you tell me,” cody practically growled.

“not that i’m aware of,” jj responded, eyes moving between the three of you.

“congrats on that apex tournament win,” you offered weakly.

“oh, thanks,” jj told you before his eyes went wide and the blood drained from his face. he looked rattled, and it felt kind of good to have the upper hand for once in the whole shitty situation.

tyler moved his arm from around your shoulder and fully stepped in front of you when jj reached for you, “yeah, not today, buddy. we’re going to take her home and you can figure out how to properly apologize.”

-

after they took you home, you didn’t hear from jj until nightfall. he texted you asking to meet for breakfast before your first class to talk it out. so you picked the shittiest diner near your apartment and agreed to meet him there at 7:30.

he pulled up and parked next to you, getting out first to open your car door and help you out. you sighed, “morning, jj.”

jj leaned down for a kiss, frowning when you turned your head. he hesitated, “morning. you, uh, you hungry?”

“a little.”

you followed him in, it was awkward, unlike anything the two of you had ever had to deal with before, and it felt weird. the night before you’d been venting to your roommate. you cried and she told you, “tell him if he doesn’t straighten up, you’re gone. the two of you are adults, tell him to fucking act like it.”

your orders were the first time the two of you talked besides greetings. another thing your roommate suggested was that you let him talk first since he was in the wrong. you were worried you’d be waiting forever if you did.

“i’m sorry,” he started, breaking the silence just after your food arrived.

“for what?”

“lying.”

you nodded, “why couldn’t you just tell me the truth?”

“it seemed like it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. one of the boys was going through a breakup and the tournament was a cheer up thing for him. i wanted to be there.”

“our plans had mostly fallen through, why didn’t you just tell me that’s the reason. i would’ve been disappointed, sure, but i wouldn’t have demanded you take me out still.”

jj frowned, shoving his eggs around his plate, “i felt really shitty about it. i know you’re really reasonable with that kind of stuff, but i don’t know. i didn’t want to hurt your feelings. and i figured some space would be good.”

“well,” you laughed bitterly, “look where we are now. i’d say you’re getting your wish.”

“i really am sorry, i won’t do it again.”

“just eat, we’ll figure it out later. i just needed to hear an explanation.”

he looked like he wanted to argue, but did as you said. eventually you’d forgive him, but you needed some time to be hurt about it first. the fact that his first plan was to lie to you was concerning. you’d watched all his failed relationships over the years, what made you think you were going to be different?

jj paid when the two of you left and stopped you before you could get into your car. grabbing your shoulder, he asked, “are we okay?”

“i,” you paused, “we can be. but if you lie to me about the little stuff, the superficial shit, how can i trust you’ll be honest with me about the big stuff?”

shoving his hands in his pockets, he nodded, “you’re right.”

“on top of that, how can i trust anything you’ve told me since we’ve started dating is true? that night the girl was hanging off of you and you said you wouldn’t let her take it farther, was that true?”

“babe,” he tried to interrupt.

“no, listen to me,” you warned, “honesty is important to me, and if i catch you in another lie, it’s over. no three strikes, you get one more chance.”

his face lit up, “i promise, no more lies.”

“good.”

you let him finally pull you into a hug and blinked back tears, really hoping you hadn’t just set yourself up for further heartbreak.

[captainchrisstan]

Delicate

Summary: 

My reputation´s never been worse, so

You must like me for me 

Words: 1438

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Warning: none.... maybe angst 

A/N: this is done with love for @angrybirdcr​ Thank you for letting me participate and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 

7-. “Is that what you think of me?”

17-. “I can´t imagine this world without you”

Hey guys! ✨my mother language is not English, so if there is any mistake please help me to improve. Also, my work is not allowed to be on other platforms. Just comment, like and reblog ❤️

The first thing you do when you close the magazine is to throw it as far as possible out of your reach, damn journalists you thought, again they had misinterpreted your words and what you didn't know is if they had done it on purpose or not.

Working in the film industry is complicated, if you are not careful your whole life was exposed to the public and that could be a double-edged sword. The big problem was that you had worked very hard to get to where you were now, even getting a starring role in one of the Marvel films but it had all fallen apart once you started dating Chris.

Chris Evans, the actor best known for his role as Captain America, was your boyfriend, so you were no longer known as "Y/n the actress with a great future in Hollywood" but as "Y/n The girlfriend of Captain America". At first, this fact bothered you a lot but Chris helped calm your nerves by saying that later he would be known as "Chris the Spider-woman's boyfriend", which is how Hollywood worked.

Ten months later your relationship with Chris was all wonderful, instead, the press attacked you with tooth and nail, insinuating that you were with him for fame and money because of the age difference, although it was not much it was still a difference that every journalist sought to highlight, so both decided to keep the relationship as hidden as possible, to the point that the press did not know if they were still together or not.

The sound of your cell phone is what gets you out of your attempt to burn the magazine with your eyes, looking at it you realize it's a message from Scott saying if you could go get Chris who was already a little bit drunk.

The trip to Scott's house is short but you spend it grumbling about curses to the magazine and journalists in general, once you arrive at Scott's house you can observe the boys standing outside waiting for you.

“Hi, Y/n!”

"Hey Scott, how are you?"

"Well, the usual" Chris quickly says goodbye to his brother and gets in the car, when he tries to put on his seatbelt you quickly talk to Scott.

"How many?"

"like a decent man"

"Hey! I'm still here!” The three of them laugh and when Chris finally manages to put his seat belt on, they say goodbye to Scott.

"Stay with me tonight?" You look sideways quickly at Chris and smile, you honestly liked it when Chris was stress-free and relaxed, he looked even happier than he already was.

"it's an order or a question"

"Both" you both laugh and just nod your head.

"What's going on?"

"Why do you say that?"

"I know you, what did I do now?"

"You haven't done anything .... or is there something you haven't told me?" Chris raises his hands in surrender and you just laugh.

"Yeah, but what's going on?"

"Today another magazine came out with a little interview of mine... You know, the usual. The thing is, they brought it up when I went to have coffee with Tom the other day after recording and they started making deductions about whether I was after his money and fame and all that… Again… You know me and you know I'm not like that..." the neighborhood where Chris lived was approaching which surprised you, the road had become shorter than usual. What you miss about the situation was that Chris didn't say anything.

Stopping the car in the parking lot of Chris's home, you quickly turn to look at it. "You know I'm not like that, right?" Chris gets out of the car and heads for the driveway.

"Is that what you think of me, after almost a year of the relationship, do you think I'm just looking for money and fame?”

"y/n I don't want to argue, I'm a little past my prime and I don't want to mess up... let's keep talking tomorrow" Chris disappears inside his house and you keep leaving your keys on the entry table.

"This is not something you can discuss tomorrow Chris, this is something you think of me" with a sigh Chris simply looks at his girlfriend and knows he will regret what he says.

"In the beginning... what we had, in the beginning, was too good to be true Y/n you have to understand that..."

"No, I don't get it, Chris."

"It would not be the first time that something like this would happen to me..."

"I'm not them, Chris."

"I know! I know!... but you have to understand that you were practically starting your career, what better than to jump into stardom than to date one of the most sought-after men in the industry". You are speechless, your hand moves to pinch the inside of your arm in an attempt to make it all a dream, but unfortunately it is not. "Even I did that!" 

"I think I'll go and sleep at home"

"y/n please"

"No Chris, I need some space."

The weekend had gone by faster than you thought possible, Chris had called and sent messages but you didn't answer any, every time you saw his name on the screen the words repeated over and over in your mind.

With what Chris said on Friday night, thousands of situations made more sense to you, like when he told you a secret from a colleague like he was waiting for you to tell a magazine, or when he would arrive sometimes with expensive gifts even though you told him you didn't want anything, there were many signs but you were too blind to notice. 

On Monday you had to go back to the set to re-record, your manager Jimmy just stared at you when you walked into the makeup area waiting for you to say what had happened.

"Chris called me Sunday morning," as you sit down you simply start browsing Instagram hoping Jimmy would take it as a sign that you didn't want to talk about it. "You know you can count on me, right?”,  the facade that you didn't care about anything slowly begins to crumble the moment those words leave Jimmy's mouth. A few knocks on the door bring both of them out of their trance, as you look up to see in the mirror in front of you, you can see Chris almost as emaciated as you are.

"Could you give us a few minutes alone, Jimmy?"

"Sure, I'll tell Veronica not to come to makeup yet.",  When Jimmy comes out the door he lets Chris in and he sits in the same place where your manager was before.

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk to you... clear up the weekend" you get out of your seat but Chris is quicker and grabs your doll "Please"

"Chris, you've already made it clear to me what you think of me, and I can't change that.”

"No, don't talk like that. At first, I thought I'd use it as a marketing technique, you know.”

“Oh, God!”

"Just... just let me finish" The seconds that passed felt like an eternity for Chris. "At first I didn't have faith in us, you're younger than me, you were just starting your career and... the truth is I don't have a decent excuse if I'm honest.  Soon I realized that I had misjudged you, that you were not what I or the press thought you were. In our first fight... do you remember... when I went to spend the night at my mom's? well, when I got there I talked to her and she ended up yelling at me, she told me that you were the best thing that had ever happened to me and that she would be ashamed to call me son if I let you go". Chris laughs nervously, but even that can't make your anger go away.  "Sometimes I wonder if he doesn't love you more than me. The thing is... I can't imagine a world without you and even though there are times when the moments get difficult between us, nothing scares me more than losing you..."  without letting him finish you throw yourself into his arms, although there are no excuses for his behavior you cannot but forgive him. At the end of the day, they were both humans. 

"Why didn't you talk to me before?" Chris just shrugs. "We were able to clear this up from the beginning."

"All I know is, I don't want to lose you.”

PERMANENT TAGLIST: @petersoftboyparker​

[writings-of-a-daphodil]

Fire Keeper: Chapter 15

Douxie x fem reader

Chapter 1

Masterlist in bio!

Series Summary: You are Jim’s older sister who is taking a break from college and has moved back home to Arcadia. You end up joining Jim and his friends on their adventures.

Chapter 15 summary: Just as you and Douxie get back to Arcadia the Eternal Night begins. 

You stroked Archie as Douxie drove the three of you back to Arcadia. It had been a pretty silent drive with you drifting in and out of sleep, but you were awake now and you and Douxie were singing along to some music you were playing via your phone.

It was a lot of fun and it made you even happier to see Douxie smiling again. You looked back out the window before he could catch you staring.

A new song came on and you began to sing, but your phone ringing cut you off. You unplugged the aux cord and answered it.

“Hey, mom. We just got back. We’re almost in Arcadia.”

“Y/n, something happened, can you come to the school?” She asked, her voice filled with urgency.

“Um, yeah. I’ll be right there.” You hung up and looked to Douxie. “That was my mom, something happened.”

“I can drop you off and then you can pick up your car tomorrow?” Douxie suggested and you nodded.

The two of you continued singing, but you were distracted by your thoughts. Your brain had decided to conjure up thoughts of all the worst possible scenarios.

Thankfully you didn’t have to suffer through the scenarios as you arrived at the school. You hopped out of the car and thanked Douxie.

You immediately sensed auras on the roof and while they all seemed relatively calm and a little anxious, you didn’t sense Jim’s.

You decided to forgo the stairs and you flew yourself up to the roof. You arrived to see everyone but Jim. Even Merlin was there, but you didn’t see your brother. However, you did see a troll in the eclipse armor. You stared wide-eyed at him and dove into his aura. If you peeled back a few layers you found your brothers.

“Jim?” You asked, alerting everyone to your arrival.

“Hey Y/n,” he greeted, smiling nervously.

“Are you okay?” You asked, concern for your little brother consuming you.

“Kinda,” he admitted and you ran over to hug him. Tears pricked your eyes when you realized how much taller he was now.

“What happened?” You asked as you pulled away from him, but you still held his hand.

“I needed to become stronger and Merlin did this.” He gestured to himself.

“But you were already great,” you whispered. You could sense the pain and fear and Jim’s aura and it made your tears run faster. The best word to describe your mood was ‘furious’ and the cause of your anger was Merlin.

You had been home for about three seconds and you were already ready to fight the old man. You were only holding back because you didn’t want to start something or upset Jim.

“Ah so this is the Trollhunter’s sister?” Merlin asked and you were seriously ready to throw hands. You had really expected Merlin to be cooler from what Douxie described.

You scowled. “I am, and not only that, I’m a sorceress.”

“Really?” Merlin asked, interest showing on his face.

“Yes, and what were you thinking? How could you do this to him?” You asked.

“I didn’t do anything. It was his choice, I just created the means. In the end you will thank me.”

You decided to be mature and ignore Merlin. It was the best way to calm down. It also helped when you remembered that Merlin was able to see the future. Maybe Jim becoming a half-troll was a good thing?

You turned to Jim. “Don’t worry Jimbo, you still have your looks,” you joked trying to make light of the situation.

He chuckled. “Thanks.”

You looked at the rest of the group and you noticed Strickler standing very close to your mom. You decided to be mature and read their auras before attacking Strickler and you were presently surprised to sense forgiveness in your moms aura and caring in Strickler’s. Maybe he wasn’t that bad.

You put on a small smile. “Why don’t we walk home and you explain everything that's been going on this past week to me.”

“There’s something you should know about our trip to find Merlin,” Jim said once you all had gotten down from the roof.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, sensing the sad shift in everyone’s auras.

Jim looked down. “Draal didn’t make it. H-he died back when we were getting Merlin’s staff. Draal took a dagger for me, Angor Rot killed him.”

You looked at the rest of the group and saw sadness shining in your eyes. You began to cry again and Jim hugged you. “I-I can’t believe it,” you sobbed.

“I know I’m sorry. But we are going to avenge him,” Jim promised. You sniffed, looking up at him. He was so grown up now and you were incredibly proud.

You took a deep breath. “I know we will.”

~~~~

Last night as all of you walked home the group recounted the events of the last week to you and you had to admit a lot had happened. Now it was time to defeat Morgana and Gunmar.

That morning you had gone over the plan and you had to say, while you were nervous and scared, but you were excited to end this. It would all be over soon and hopefully your brother and Merlin would come out victorious.

And while they did that, you were on crowd control with Douxie. You wouldn’t have regular civilians dying, not if you had something to say about it.

You stood on the sidelines with Douxie watching Aja and Krel play their music. The crowd seemed very excited for Krel’s DJ-ing, but you were a ball of nerves. Claire was supposed to arrive soon and tell everyone to go and find someplace safe.

You bit your lip as Señior Uhl announced Mama Skull and Claire walked onto the stage in her armor.

You barely listened to her speech, but you could tell nobody was understanding how much danger they were in. That is until the sky darkened and gumm-gumms appeared.

You tried to call everyone to you, but they just panicked. Unsure of what to do, you and Douxie just began to fight. The less gumm-gumms there were the less chance of people dying, right?

You summoned your sword and immediately sliced through one as you sent a magic blast at another. You heard someone scream on stage and you and Douxie ran over there. You noticed he didn’t have a weapon and you wondered what he was going to be able to do with just a guitar.

Apparently he could do a lot. He hit a gumm-gumm that was terrorizing Mary and Darci over the head, knocking it out cold.

“I've always hated those twits!” he grumbled. You went over to finish the job while he helped Mary and Darci.

You walked back over to Douxie who Mary and Darci were swooning over and you rolled your eyes. “Come on Romeo, we need to get these people to safety.”

“Alright, Ladies follow us.” Douxie took off and you followed him.

“Where should we take them?” You asked. “We need some place big enough to fit a ton of people.”

“The school!” Douxie responded. You turned the corner and found some gumm-gumms harassing some of the old guys who like to play chess in the gazebo.

You held out your sword and charged the creatures, easily taking them down while Douxie covered your back. The two of you made a very good team.

Soon the street was cleared of the black and green monstrosities, but you knew it wouldn’t last long. “We need to get going,” you said helping the old men up.

Your ever growing group made your way through the town with Douxie up front and you guarding the rear. Occasionally you ran into gumm-gumms, but you and Douxie took care of them easily.

Soon you made it to the school. You used your magic to unlock the doors and you had to admit you were proud of yourself.

You watched as Douxie led everyone across the street. Things seemed to be going your way for the time being and you hoped all of your friends were doing okay. You didn’t know how you would go on if you lost anyone else.

Another tremor hit and you wobbled on your feet. Tremors had been occurring all day, but this one felt different.

The cause of the tremor was soon revealed when you heard a roar. It was a roar you had only ever heard once before, and that had been in the Darklands. You watched everyone freeze in the middle of the street as a gigantic black and green snake thing turned towards all of you. It could probably smell the fear radiating off of everyone.

“Fuzz buckets,” Douxie cursed as the Nyarlagroth charged. There was no time to make any mistakes so you just decided to call upon your magic. An orange glow surrounded the Arcadians and they floated into the air. You heard shouts of surprise, but you didn’t have time to warn them as you threw them inside the school.

You went to chase after them, but you instead saw a kitten standing in the middle of the Nyarlagroth’s path. There was no way you were going to let something bad happen to the adorable ball of white fluff, so you did what any compassionate human would do. You ran towards the kitten and picked it up.

Unfortunately now both of you were in the Nyarlagroth’s path, but you weren’t there for long.

You and the kitten glowed blue and you were yanked towards Douxie who caught you. He carried you bridal style into the school, gently setting you down before the group of Arcadians.

“Um, thanks,” you mumbled.

“Anytime, thanks for getting the kitten. I didn’t see it.”

“Of course.”

“What now?” Someone asked and you turned to face them. You didn’t have to be an aura reader to sense that these people were afraid. But what you weren’t expecting was for them to be determined.

“I know you might not be happy to be stuck in here, unable to do anything, but in here you are safer. I also understand how scary this is. Right now Douxie and I need to take care of that giant snake thing so we can make this place safer.” You looked at all the terrified faces and sighed when you noticed that your speech didn’t seem to be impacting them. “Okay, look. We’ve all lived in Arcadia for a while and I’m sure many of you have noticed the weird things that go on around here. There are different creatures that live here who aren’t human, but this is their home too. Those bad guys out there have taken their home before and are trying to take it again as well as ours. There aren’t many people who can do something about it, but those who can are out there, fighting for you and they are going to win. But to do that, they need you in here where you’re safe so they don’t have to worry about you. It may seem scary now, but if we all do our part things will work out!”

You looked again and noticed that everyone seemed to be calmer and even more determined than they were before. “Good luck!” Someone called and you smiled.

“We’ll be back soon,” Douxie said, holding the door for you.

You reluctantly gave the kitten to Phil and Jerry, the two the old guys you had saved. “Now let’s go take care of that Nyarlagroth.”

~~~~

“I didn’t know you gave inspirational speeches,” Douxie joked once you were outside.

“It’s one of my many hidden talents,” you replied smiling at him.

You and Douxie raced to the top of the school to get a good view and you saw the Nyarlagroth circling the school.

“When Jim was in the darklands he stopped one by overwhelming it’s sense of smell,” you explained. “We need to find something that will do that.”

“This is a school, there’s got to be tons of  gross laundry here,” Douxie suggested.

You bit your lip. “I hope this works.”

“Me too,” Douxie sighed, looking one last time at the beast. His aura was buzzing with worry.

“We’ve got this,” you said, pulling him back down the stairs. The two of you went looking for the laundry and you plugged your nose as you levitated it out of the school. “This should be fine.”

“Good.” Douxie chuckled. “I hope these kids won’t be mad about us feeding their stuff to the Nyarlagroth.”

“I think they’ll be fine.” You set the hampers down to catch a breather. “Okay, I’ll go across the street and when the Nyarlagroth comes around be ready to fling this stuff into its mouth.”

“Yes Ma’am,” Douxie said, jokingly saluting you.

You gave a small smile before running across the street, levitating your baskets behind you.

You heard the Nyarlagroth before you saw it. Hiding in an Alley you levitated the hampers and got ready to shove them into the beast’s mouth.

It roared and you sent the disgusting laundry flying into its mouth. You watched as Douxie’s hampers flew in after yours.

It froze and you took it distraction as an opportunity.

“Douxie blast it, I’m gonna go stab it!” You explained, ever eloquent.

You leapt into the air and onto the Nyarlagroth’s back. You felt the beast shift as Douxie began to blast it. Quickly you located a space between its scales and you squeezed your eyes closed as you thrust your sword into it. You pushed it into the hilt and watched as it slowly turned to stone. You felt bad, but you knew it would kill everyone if given the chance.

You floated off the Nyarlagroth and down to the ground where Douxie hugged you.

“We did it!” He celebrated. “You did amazing.”

“Thanks, but we both did amazing.”

You high fived in celebration. The Nyarlagroth was now a pile of useless stones and the People of Arcadia were mostly saved.

However, the celebration couldn’t last long. You had work to do. You and Douxie placed anti gumm-gumm sigils around the house and then went to go look for more people. Soon you had gathered quite a few and you were bringing them back to the cool when you saw a horde of goblins.

Stood to challenge them while Douxie got the people inside. The goblins charged at you and you blasted a few before they got too close.

The leader leapt up at you and you sliced him with your sword. This only angered the rest of them causing them to fight with more vigor. But you were fighting for the safety of your town.

Soon Douxie joined you, bashing the goblins with his guitar that he had kept. It was a little battered by now, but it made for a good weapon.

You fought goblin after goblin, but there always seemed to be more of them.

They suddenly stopped attacking though and you noticed a change in the air. The goblins looked at each other then at you and Douxie who had your weapons arrived.

They turned and ran. You were tempted to go after them, but you realized that you couldn’t do much against that many goblins. You should have to save that problem for later.

“What do you think happened?” Douxie asked.

Red lightning came out of nowhere and hit a gumm-gumm which shattered into a pile of rocks. “I think Jim killed Gunmar!” You exclaimed.

Now that the street was clear you and Douxie went to check on the Arcadians. After you were sure they were good the two of you can off to the canal. The both of you were worried that the Eternal Night hadn't ended.

You didn't have your car so you wouldn't be able to drive. Instead the two of you ran.

You arrived to see Claire, Jim, Toby, Aaarrrgghh, and Blinky looking at a giant crack in the ground.

You looked into it and saw the heartstone, but it wasn't warm and happy orange anymore. It was a cold gray.

"What happened?" You asked, aghast. You had spent so much wonderful time in Trollmarket now it was destroyed.

"Gunmar happened," Blinky said, bitterly.

"What are you going to do now? " you asked.

"We're gonna look for a new Heartstone. Merlin mentioned that there would be one in New Jersey," Jim said.

"New Jersey?" You asked, shocked.

Jim avoided your eyes. "Yeah."

"I'll miss you," you said, hugging him.

"I'll miss you too," he said.

~~~~

After you had met with Jim Claire and Toby and they had told you their side of the battle and you told yours, you went to see your mom who was sanding on the cliff overlooking Arcadia. The two of you were waiting to say goodbye to Jimo. You knew he had to go to New Jersey, but it still hurt you to see him go.

Merlin arrived and he looked out over Arcadia. There was smoke billowing over some buildings and while it looked sad and hopeless, but you knew it would be okay.

You gently stroked the kitten you had saved from the Nyarlagroth. You had decided to adopt the kitten, though you didn’t have a name for the darling fluff ball.  

You were spooked out of your thoughts by some rustling behind you. You turned around to see Jim. You tried to hold back your tears.  You hadn’t even said goodbye yet and you were already missing him.

He went over to you and your mom and hugged the two of you. “I promised I’d never leave you,” he said.

“Honey, I knew this day would come, I just...never knew when,” your mom rubbing yours and Jim’s back. “I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

You heard your mom sniff and you knew she was crying. Your own tears began to fall. “Just call often,” you sniffed.

“Everyday. Twice. Text. Now and then?” Your mom added.

“Of course, guys. I love you,” Jim said, also sniffing.

“Not more than I love you kiddo,” your mom chuckled.

You heard more rustling and sawBlinky arrive. “Are you ready, Master Jim?” He asked coming over to you.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Jim sighed, letting go of you and your mom, but keeping your hands.

“I don’t know what tomorrow brings, but with our Trollhunter by our side, I don’t fear it either,” Blinky said,  putting his hand on Jim's shoulder. You smiled, you were glad Jim had someone like Blinky.

“I really appreciate that, Mr. Blinky,” you mom said.

You heard more rustling and saw Claire and her parents arrive.

She walked over to Jim. “Claire, I can’t ask you to—“

“You didn’t ask,” Claire said and you were so glad Jim had such a great boyfriend.

“She has enough credits to graduate early,” Claire's mom said. “We’re treating this as some time abroad.”

“As long as she comes back soon,” her dad said.

“Well, congratulations, Claire,” You said, high fiving her. You wondered how it was possible for a sophomore to have accomplished that.

Jim laughed and you jumped a little as Strickler came flying by. He landed by your mom. “Good luck, Young Atlas.”

Jim smiled at the three of you and slowly let go of your mom’s hand as he walked away.

“You did good raising him, Doc,” NotEnrique consoled. “Here’s a thousand new babies to raise.”

“What?” Strickler asked as NotEnrique handed your mom the cradle stone.

“Have fun with that, you two,” NotEnrique called, running away so they couldn’t give the stone back.

“Wait!” Strickler called.

“This’ll be fun,” you muttered and your mom patted your back.

“Wait! Wait for me!” Toby yelled as he came running up to the group in his War Hammer armor. “Boy, these goodbyes are tough, you know. Nana wanted me to take Mr. Meow Meow P.I., but he does not travel well. What?”

“Tobes...you have to stay.” Jim said, kneeling down.

“What?” Toby asked and you felt really, really bad for him. “You’re going on a quest. I love quests. We go everywhere together.”

“I’m hurt, Claire lost her Shadow Staff. We need you here to protect Arcadia.”

“No, Wingman,” Aaarrrgghh said, coming up to Toby. “I help. I stay.”

Blinky gasped then nodded, accepting it. Their air was thick with bittersweet goodbyes and you felt a few tears fall.

“So, you’re staying with me-” Toby gestured to you and Aaarrrgghh “-and you’re leaving,” he summarized, gesturing to Claire, Jim and Blinky.

“But we’ll be back. Someday,” Jim promised as you handed the kitten to your mom and walked over to them with Claire. The four of you were pulled into a group hug.

“You better,” Toby sniffed.

“And then we’ll get tacos,” Jim said, chuckling.

“And enchiladas,” Claire added.

“We sure found that adventure. Right, Tobes?” Jim asked and you smiled through your tears.

“I’m really glad we took the canal that morning,” Toby agreed.

The four of you stood. “Keep Arcadia safe,” Jim requested. “You’re its only Trollhunters now.”

Nomura walked over and hugged Toby. “I still don’t like you.”

“I know,” Toby cried. You began to quietly shed your tears as your friends and little brother walked away into the forest.

They stopped and you watched as Merlin pulled out the Eclipse Blade and you noticed that it was broken. “I believe this belongs to you, Trollhunter.”

Merlin used his magic to fix it and Jim grabbed it. They looked back one more time and you waved a sad goodbye.

****

Thank yall so much for reading and liking my writing!! It makes me so happy to see your positive feedback!! It was super bittersweet writing this chapter. I know there will be more, but it felt sad writing the scene where they leave. Anyways, I really hope y'all have a wonderful day/night!! And stay safe!! 💙💙

Also I haven't though if a name for the kitten yet, so if you have any suggestions I'm open.

P.S. if you want to be on the taglist feel free to ask. I hope it works and please message me if it doesn’t.P.S. if you want to be on the taglist feel free to ask. I hope it works and please message me if it doesn’t.

P.P.S. I'm totally open for requests on fluffy half chapters! If you have any ideas for the half chapters send them in and I'll do my best to include them.

[holylulusworld]

Dear John – The road to redemption

Summary: John is out for blood and tries to be a father for your twins at the same time.

Pairing: Mobster!John x fem!Reader

Warnings: angst, language, age gap (the reader is around 30, John 50), mentions of break-up/unrequited feelings, mentions of an abusive relationship/domestic violence (not John), daddy!John, comforting, fluff, Dean being a good big brother, just like Sam

Characters: Benny Lafitte, Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester

<< Part 1

Part 2/3

Divider by @firefly-graphics​

“Look, John jr., I saved you a slice of my favorite pie,” Dean grins when his five-year-old brother’s eyes grow wide. My baby boy nods eagerly, already grasping for the fork to dig it into the pie Dean places in front of him.

I smile, knowing all too well my eldest is a proud big brother who would go to hell and back for his new siblings just like he did for Sam.

“Johnny loves pie,” my baby girl quips, grinning up at Dean. She smiles, knowing the tall guy next to her is her big brother. “Now I got three big brothers – awesome,” in not two days Sofia grew close to Dean and Sam.

“Daddy, do you like pie too?” John jr. asks, earning a chuckle from Dean who looks at me, a cocky grin on his lips. “Do you?”

“I like some once in a while but, unlike Dean, I am not addicted,” nodding thoughtfully my little boy looks at the pie. A grin appears on his face and he looks me straight in the eyes.

“More pie for me and my big brother, daddy,” I laugh, even throw my head back as I haven’t had kids at my house for ages. The kids make me feel like a young man again and I forget for a moment, a douche is after my girl. “What do you like daddy?”

“That’s not for your ears, John jr.,” Y/N enters the kitchen, kisses the top of my son’s head softly as she covers his ears with her hands, Sam immediately covers my daughter’s ears, knowing Y/N will use a bad word.

“He’s more into eating something else,” I can’t hold back the groan leaving my lips at Y/N’s words. She looks at me, something dangerous in her eyes but, I can see the tension left her body. “Not that I would have complained, though.”

Shit, I feel my face heat up. I bet my sons can see I am putty in Y/N’s hands if she wants me. Before I find my voice to give her a snarky comment she turns her attention toward Sofia and John jr. and my heart swells when she switched into ‘mommy modus’. 

“And how good you tasted,” I finally find my voice, and Y/N giggles at my words, missing the way I roam her body when she takes the cup of coffee Dean offers to her. “I mean, your pie.” I backpaddle as my sons look at me, pointing toward the kids. 

“Dad said you want to sell your parents’ house,” Sam tries to change the topic. “Maybe my girlfriend can help you. She sold her parent's house three years ago.”

“Yeah, we all know your girl is awesome, Sammy,” Dean groans, causing me to roll my eyes. My boys are grown men, but they like to tease each other like kids. “Ruby is smart. Ruby is sexy – blah blah.”

“Son, not now. Ruby is your brother’s girlfriend, stop nagging about the girl. She is part of our family soon enough,” I need to stop my eldest, knowing he doesn’t like Ruby too much.

“Did you forget she got him addicted?” Dean bites back. His hands balled into fists he curses under his breath. “We need months to get him down from that shit and suddenly she’s a saint to everyone but me. I do not trust her one bit.”

“Dean, not that old song again. Ruby and I got addicted and-“ Sam stops in his tracks when Y/N raises one hand.

“Not in front of the kids, Sam. If you and your brother want to fight or talk about adult themes, do it when my children are not around. They went through enough due to my mistake,” she sniffs now. “I need-“ I run after her when Y/N runs out of the room, crying bitterly. “I shouldn’t have come here.”

“Y/N, you belong to me,” I cup the back of Y/N’s neck to force her to look up at me. I hate to let the dangerous mobster out, but she needs to understand – there is no way I’ll ever let her go. Not now, not ever. “You’re mine,” my lips claim hers, a bit too rough, and honestly a bit clumsily but I can’t help it. I need to feel her lips against mine.

“John,” she pants against my chapped lips, whimpers as I kiss her again to calm her a little. Fuck me, she still tastes like back then. Like strawberries, vanilla, and sin. “John.”

“Sorry, doll,” I breathe against her soft pillows. “I wanted to show more patience but having you here makes me go crazy. I know you can’t forgive me that easily, but you cannot deny you feel it too. The pull, the need to touch me,” I kiss her again, this time slow and gentle. “How about you get ready for the day and we talk later?”

“John, this isn’t a happy reunion or a second chance for love. This is me and my kids running from a violent man who tries to get me back whilst my former lover keeps me hostage at his house to protect me,” Y/N spats. I didn’t believe she will forgive me anytime soon but her words still sting. “I just want to be left alone.”

“I understand you do not trust me but,” I cup her face, not letting her look away, “you are my girl, always were mine. I don’t care about anything else but you and my kids. Trust me, I’ll make that bastard pay for hurting you.”

“I don’t want you to hurt him, John. I just,” she sniffles, tries to hide her tears from me. I always admire Y/N for being strong and stubborn, “Please, I never want to see him again. Tell him to leave me alone.”

“That I can do, doll. I promise he will never hurt you or my children again. But,” I bring Y/N into my arms, not caring she struggles against my strength, “I can’t let you go after. You’re my girl, the one I love. Even if you never let me in again, I want you in my life, Y/N.”

“John, I-“ her voice cracks, and I hold her a bit tighter, let her fist my button-up and take the slap she gives me with all her strength like a man. “You can’t just tell me what to do,” and there she is, the angry stubborn girl I loved to tame.

“You’re still my bad girl,” I muse, pecking Y/N’s forehead. “Please stay here until I handled the situation with James. He seems to be a dangerous man.”

“You are one to talk,” Y/N grins up at me, the fire I loved so much back in her eyes. “John Winchester, head of the Winchester’s empire talks about James being a dangerous man. Your dark aura was one of the things making me fall for you.”

“Oh, you naughty girl,” teasing Y/N is like a hobby to me. “I knew you loved being my hostage a bit too much, dirty girl,” I whisper the last part into her ear. “I will not let anything happen to you or the kids, promised. Benny will stay here with you.”

“John,” Y/N looks up at me with teary eyes. “I don’t think you should kill him. Maybe it’s enough to tell him to stay away from me? You can be scary as shit.” I chuckle at my girl’s words. I know that most people are afraid of me, but oddly, Y/N never was one of them. 

“I promise to not kill him if it’s not necessary, Y/N,” I lie, fuck I lie shamelessly but how could I tell Y/N that the moment James laid hands on her he was a dead man. He just doesn’t know he’s dead yet. “How about you and the kids spend the day in the garden? Or do you want Benny to drive you somewhere?”

“I think I’ll just stay here,” I can see the fear return. Y/N’s eyes betray the brave face she puts on for me. “Do you have Netflix? We could watch cartoons or something.”

“I show you the TV later. If you get hungry, tell the cook what you want to eat, doll,” I smirk when Y/N tells me she’s a good cook. “Baby, you are anything but a good cook. You burned eggs, Y/N.”

“I got better,” she insists, and I kiss her again. Hungrily I invade her mouth, make her moan against me. “Hey, I didn’t mean that kind of cooking.” she scolds me playfully and I feel hope bloom in my chest. “I can make toast, pancakes, and baked a pie for the kids' birthday. Don’t underestimate my talent in the kitchen.”

“Oh-I remember your talent in the kitchen, especially the kitchen counter,” there it is, the nervous giggle. “You were such a good girl.”

“JOHN WINCHESTER,” Y/N punches my chest with her tiny fists. “Don’t say things like that with your kids around. They don’t need to know about all the dirty things you did to me.”

“…and with you,” I smirk when Y/N sighs at my words. “Promise me you’ll be still here when I come back.”

“I will stay as long as he’s out there, John. I don’t want him to get close to my children or me ever again. I am stubborn, not dumb,” I look at Y/N one last time before I decide it’s time to hunt that bastard down.

“I’ll be back in a blink, doll. Benny will help you today,” I peck Y/N’s check, let my lips linger a bit longer than needed. “No one will ever hurt you again.”

“Dean, Sam, Jimmy, I want you to come with me. Benny, you’ll stay at the mansion and watch over my girl and the kids. No one will enter the house without your permission. James Milster is out there, and we need to get hold of him,” close, so fucking close to losing control I look at my eldest. Dean, the one always following my orders places one hand onto my shoulder, nodding silently.

“We will get him, Sir,” Dean looks at his brother, unsure if Sam will follow my plan or not. “Right, Sam.”

“Y/N and her children will be safe after today,” Sam gives me a curt nod. He’s the smartest and most caring man I ever had the honor to meet.

I’m not saying Dean is not a good or smart man too. My eldest is a strong-headed, strong and caring man, but Sam, Sammy is different. I don’t know how he does it but around him, people feel comfortable, even though, he’s a giant.

“I need to make sure Y/N and my children are safe. John jr. and Sofia Rose are your siblings and it’s your duty, just like mine, to protect them at all cost. That man lived long enough after he hurt my girl. He’s out of luck now,” I pat my gun, giving my men a curt nod before we leave the mansion.

“Mommy, when will daddy be back?” Sofia Rose watches her brother pace around the living room. He couldn’t concentrate on the cartoons he wanted to watch, too busy to wait for John to come back. “Will he hurt James?”

“John,” I sigh, not knowing how to explain to my five-year-old son that his father will probably kill my ex-fiancé. “Your dad wants to talk to James, okay. Do you remember what I said the day we left his house?”

“That we don’t have to see him again and that daddy will protect us,” Sofia Rose steps closer to her brother, grasps his hand as she can see the worry on his features.

“Mommy, can we wait for daddy to come back? I want to see him before we go to sleep,” my daughter asks, knowing her big brother is worried about his father. “Please.”

“Of course, sweet pea. We will wait for daddy to come back,” it’s already late but I will not let fear cloud my mind. John knows how to handle any situation so I will wait for him to return and not worry.

I am a terrible liar, am I not?

Look at that bastard. How dare he to call me a lousy father when I aim a fucking gun at his head.

“That’s how you want to play the game?” I smirk when I unlock my gun. “How about we play – Winchester roulette? One bullet, six chambers – your life for my girl.”

His eyes wide James starts to beg for his life and I, well I, enjoy the show. I will not kill him with that gun, but this doesn’t mean I can’t have fun before I end his life as painful as possible.

“What do you say, son? Shall I play a game with James?” Dean sits onto the chair opposite James, shrugging. He doesn’t need to say a word, I can see it in my eldest eyes; he wants to rip James apart for hurting Y/N and scaring his siblings.

“Do as you wish, Sir,” Sam is the one opening the bag I brought with me to reveal all the nice toys to torture someone who really pissed me off. “Shall we begin, dad?”

“Please, I-“ James chokes on his words, wets his pants as he begs for his life but unlike other men – I know no mercy…

>> Part 3

 Tags in reblog.

[kimvvantae]

everlasting • jjk

➜ being able to love the same person forever is a blessing given from the heavens. to you, however, eternity has become a curse. 

pairing: jungkook x (f) reader

genre: angst • reincarnation au

warnings: a slight, non-explicit insinuation of sex. subtle mentions of violence. probably historical inaccuracy. also, suffering. lots of suffering, actually.

word count: 18k

rating: pg-13

anon requested: a jungguk fic where him and the reader never work out in any life time like they’ll be “maybe we’ll be together in the next life time” yk I don’t know if I’m making sense 🥺 but then in the last one they end up being together.

➜  this is part of the 1st anniversary event. check out masterlist in bio for more of my works!

× 1401 ×

"You look absolutely lovely!" your mother chirps happily, clapping her hands together. "The most beautiful bride I've ever seen!"

All of the maids agree, making comments on the dress you wear. Some of them are kneeled down around you, making adjustments on the dress and veil. You look at your reflection, holding the delicate fabric with care. You can't disagree with them; indeed, the dress is beautiful. 

"Put a smile on this face, darling." Your mother continues, coming closer to where you stand. She caresses your cheek affectionately. "It is your wedding day!" 

You look at your mother. She smiles widely. If someone that doesn't know her looked at this situation, they'd think she's a caring mother.

But you do know her.

You know the expertly crafted smile that adorns her lips.

You know that there is no happiness at all reflected on her eyes - only the coldness and superiority you're already used to.

You see that what she said was actually a warning. At least pretend to be happy. Don't you disrespect your fiance.

That's all she cares about: appearances. Reputation. Wealth and power. Even though this is the woman that brought you to life, you can't help but wonder if she has ever cared for you at least once.

You say nothing and look back at your reflection.

"May you all leave me alone?" You ask in a low and dead tone. It doesn't even sound like you.

The maids promptly move out of the room without muttering a word, bowing respectfully before leaving. Your mother, however, doesn't move.

"I said may you all leave me alone?" You repeat, your voice louder and harder. Now that you're alone with her, the façade fades and she finally shows her true self: dead eyes, an expression that somehow always conveys aggressiveness. She opens her mouth to say something that will probably hurt your feelings, but you don't let her even start the sentence. You had enough of her. "You already got what you wanted, mother. At least leave me by myself in my last moments of freedom."

The woman glares at you for a moment, then nods. You see the faint shadow of a smirk on her lips. She's enjoying this. She likes to see that you finally bent to her will after all these years - and she doesn't care that this is killing you inside. "Very well." she says, at least once keeping any snarky comment to herself. After giving one last look at you - and in this quick moment you notice that no, she actually does not think you're the most beautiful bride she has ever seen - and finally leaves the room.

You stand in front of the mirror, all alone.

If you could, you would have cried. But you don't have enough strength to cry anymore. The tears seem to have dried out; you feel empty and cold on the inside. The beautiful (and uncomfortable) attire you wear now does not match your blank expression. 

In a few minutes, you'll be attending your own wedding… but deep down, it feels like a funeral.

You feel powerless. You see how gullible you were. Why did you even think you could avoid your fate anyway? There has never been an option to you; there has never been how to escape. You were foolish. You dreamed too high. You should have figured that dreams never take anyone anywhere. 

You asked your mother to enjoy your last moments of freedom by yourself, but… you were never really free. The shackles of destiny have chained you ever since you were born. 

There is no escape.

"You look beautiful, Highness." 

You freeze. The sad, quiet voice floats to your ears, the voice that belongs to the person you love the most-

"Jungkook," you whisper.

You see his reflection in the mirror. He stands by the door, perfect posture as always, hands behind his back. His blank expression might be mistaken by apathy, but you know these dark eyes far too well. You've seen them from up close multiple times, you've stared at them for seemingly endless hours - eyes that used to look back at you with nothing but gentleness and affection, now hold a type of sadness and grief you have never seen before.

"Your father asked me to accompany you," he continues on his usual formal tone. He's visibly trying so hard not to break…

You turn around and face him. The tears that seemed to have dried out come back, welling up your eyes. "I'm sorry." It's all you can say in a weak, small voice. You feel sorry in a way that hurts your chest as if you've been stabbed right in the heart. The sadness in his eyes… this is enough to make you want to die. "I-I tried everything…"

"There's nothing to apologize for, Y/N." Jungkook says with a soft voice - the tone he'd use whenever you were finally alone and away from any suspicious ears, when you could love each other in the silence of the night, your secret being kept by the stars above. The smallest of smiles adorns his lips, but there's no happiness reflected in it. "We knew this would happen someday. We were never meant to be."

His words almost feels like physical pain. You step closer and put your hands over his chest, desperate. "But I love you!" You whisper, your voice breaking as tears start to fall. 

Jungkook lifts his hand and touches your cheek gently, wiping your tears with his thumb. You mean it with the bottom of your heart. You love Jungkook. You love him with every fiber of your being. You silently curse the Universe for making you walk this path, for making you be born a princess and making Jungkook be a knight. No one would never let you be together the way you want to. No one around you even believes in love.

"I love you too," he whispers back. "And I always will." 

A small smile once again appears on his lips. The smile he usually shows when he wants to comfort you. 

This time, though, nothing in the world will be able to comfort your bleeding heart.

"Maybe… maybe we'll meet in our next life. A life when we'll be in different circumstances." Even though Jungkook himself says these words, you see that it's just a sad hope - because right now, there's no way out. All that exists is pain and a dark future ahead of you, married with a prince you have never seen, a man you don't love and never will.

Still, you and Jungkook hold onto this hope - this last shared dream - tightly.

"Maybe we'll be together in our next life." He says as a single tear trickles down his cheek.

× 1642 ×

Life in the convent is good.

Ever since you decided to willingly dedicate your life to God, you see nothing but light and happiness. All of the nuns became your family. Every day, you pray for the Lord, plead that He will forgive your sins, read the Holy Scriptures. You feed the animals, take care of the plantation. You help your sisters on the kitchen; later on, you'd usually distribute food for the poor and unfortunate. 

The routine is repetitive, but familiar and enjoyable. You love your sisters. You love to help people. You love to serve the Lord. This is the life He chose for you.

You are blessed.

But…

Recently, there is a feeling that has been distracting you from your life of serving.

Not a feeling… a person.

You have prayed for endless nights, pleading for God to forgive you, pleading for Virgin Mary's help and guidance. You should eradicate this feeling. You must have no distractions on your life of serving and humility; you must not betray the trust that the Lord has on you…

But every time you hear his suave voice, every time you see him entering the convent, your heart still beats fast. 

Usually, men are not allowed inside the convent. But he is not just any man. The young priest started to come two years ago to lead the mass, and ever since, you started developing this wrong feeling. You started to look at him far too much. You saw his kindness, you admired his wisdom. Soon, you realized that you were hoping for his arrivals. You and him barely even talked, but when you did, it always felt as if you were swept off your feet.

This is wrong.

You swore to live a life of abnegation. You shouldn't crave for anyone's company except God's. But every night, before you closed your eyes, his face came to your mind. You felt happy at any opportunity to talk to him; sometimes, you'd watch him from afar as he talked to the mother superior, your heart fluttering every time he'd smile.

This is unforgivable.

But you can't help it.

That's why one day in the early morning, so early that almost all of the sisters are still asleep, you walk alone to the chapel.

You know he is here; that's why your heart starts beating faster. Quietly, you enter the small booth and kneel down, put your hands together and lower your head respectfully.

"Bless me, priest, for I have sinned." you start timidly.

You hear him saying a prayer, what makes a shiver run down your spine. You can't see him, and he can't see you - and you're grateful for it. You wouldn't be able to look at him for too long.

After he finishes, it's your time to confess. It's hard to do so. You intertwine your own fingers and gulp.

"I… I am behaving inappropriately, priest." Your voice is fragile. Hesitant.

"What makes you think this, sister?" He asks.

You gulp yet again. "I… I developed feelings for someone. I know it's wrong. I have been asking for God's help, I have been trying to forget it… but this feeling won't go away."

The priest stays silent for a moment. Does he know you're talking about him? No, that's impossible…

"You've taken the first step, sister." He says in a reassuring way. "You have been doing your best to avoid these feelings. God for sure will listen to you and help you. He knows you're trying."

You nod, even though you know he can't see it. You should stop it right here. You should thank him and leave.

But you can't.

That's why you keep talking.

"But, priest… deep down, I don't think that my feelings are impure. I… I don't have any carnal feelings for him. I admire him and I crave for his company. I just wish to talk to him and… and to hear him. I just want to be with him."

The priest falls in deep silence.

He's the only man you ever keep in touch with. He knows that you're talking about him.

When you hear him calling your name softly, your eyes widen.

"I understand how you feel." He whispers, and suddenly, it feels as if he is confessing, not you. Your heart beats so fast that you're scared it may stop; your palms start sweating. What does he mean…? "I really do. But… both of us chose this life. We can't go back on our word."

You almost gasp. The priest not only understands - he feels the same. You can't even control your own emotions right now; you feel euphoria, confusion, excitement, and-

And sadness.

Because you know that you shouldn't be feeling what you feel. This is forbidden for you - and the priest is right. You chose it. You decided to live this life.

You can't go back on your word.

"I understand." You say quietly, unable to hide the sadness and guilt in your voice.

He doesn't say anything for a long moment. You can't help but feel the tears trickling down your cheeks. This hurts. It hurts more than you ever thought it would.

"Maybe…" the priest whispers, so quiet that you can barely hear. "Maybe if we had another life… this would be possible."

You nod sadly.

Maybe in another life… 

In a life that you wouldn't be you and him wouldn't be him.

× 1803 ×

"He's looking at you," your younger sister says, giggling.

Your eyes widen and you immediately pass your hand through your hair discreetly, trying to look less like a scarecrow. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, he is. He has been staring for quite a long time." She confirms, still smirking in a knowing way.

You gulp and try to focus on your current task again - which is wash the clothes, kneeled next to the flowing river. Your own clothes are barely dirty rags, your hair is probably a mess. You look nothing like a respectable lady.

What is he doing here anyway?

You shake your head. "I don't care," you lie to yourself, scrubbing the white sheet against a rock with more strength than you should. "He is an odd man. An odd man that does odd things."

"You like him."

"I don't!" You gasp when you realize that, perhaps, you said this way too loud. "I don't." You repeat with a controlled voice this time. "He is our boss. We shouldn't even think anything like this about him."

"Why not? He's handsome!" She exclaims. "He's the most handsome man in the entire town! Besides, he stares at you way too much."

"Stop it." You warn your annoying younger sister. "You know very well that people like him and people like us don't get involved."

People like Jeon Jungkook are rich. They can afford the most expensive types of fabric, the most gracious and strong horses, the most exotic types of tea. The Jeon family owns the small town you live in. His father is part of the government - which means he is the law itself. Everybody respects the Jeons… well, everybody fear the Jeons. 

Meanwhile, people like you work for people like him. You and your family live in a small house inside the Jeon's enormous farm; you, your siblings and your mother work as maids and cooks, while your father and your brothers take care of the animals. All of your clothes are reused and you have never tasted anything other than cheap tea. You don't ride any pure race horse because Master Jeon doesn't like the idea of his unworthy servants touching any of his awarded animals.

Yes, people like you and him definitely don't get involved.

That's why you are mad at yourself. You shouldn't feel nervous whenever Jungkook is around. Sure, he is handsome… maybe way too handsome for his own good. But he is nothing but a petty rich boy. He's exactly the type of man you should avoid.

"You're getting quite old, aren't you, sister?" The annoying girl continues, side eyeing you maliciously. "You should be searching for a husband already. Otherwise, soon no man will want you."

You don't say anything for a few seconds, still scrubbing that sheet as if the poor piece of fabric had cursed you. Your sister is somehow right. Most of your friends are already married - some of them are pregnant. You know you should hurry and start a family. It's not as if you want to be single forever.

But… you also don't want to marry any man. As foolish as it sounds, you're still waiting for someone to love.

Your mother says that you dream too much. You should stop reading those books and come back to reality, she said. You will not be young and beautiful forever. You should give Seokjin a chance. He is a good man, has a decent job and already showed interest in you.

Most of your friends told you the same.

But you heart does not flutter when you see Seokjin.

At least not the way it does when…

Stop.

You shake your head vehemently. "You should stop talking and start working," you say, throwing another wet sheet on the girl aggressively. She gasps and complains a "hey!"

You take the soap bar and start washing another sheet, still shaking your head as if to free yourself from these thoughts. 

But you can't help but lift your gaze for a quick moment.

Jungkook is standing there, caressing his horse's head. His eyes are not on the animal, but on you instead. He's way too far, so you can't see the details of his face, but he clearly has a small smile on his lips.

A smirk.

He didn't possibly hear your conversation with your sister, right? That's impossible. He's too far.

The young man shakes his head slightly and finally starts to guide the horse away by the reins, heading to the stables.

It takes a long time for your heart to beat at a normal pace again.

You wonder how is it possible that such a small family can dirty so many clothes.

The Jeon family isn't that big, but every week you're gifted with a ton of clothes to wash. And they're not just any clothes: Mrs. Jeon already made very clear that all of their clothes are made of the finest and richest types of fabric, and because of this, you had to be extremely careful when washing them. She also likes to point out how a single dress of hers or of her daughter is far more expensive than you'll ever be able to pay. This is enough of a warning for you to not damage them (even though sometimes you really want to). 

Washing the clothes isn't an easy task: you have to carry all of them in a basket to the river, and the process of scrubbing them against the rock is tiring and may take several hours. Many times, you're forced to sit under the scorching sun. After this, you have to carry them back, put them to dry on the sun, and then iron them to perfection - what, again, isn't an easy task; the iron is heavy and it is quite dangerous to use. The scar on your hand is a painful reminder of this. You have to repeat this process every week, just because your dear bosses can't wear the same dress twice - which doesn't even make sense. You have exactly three dresses, some skirts and some shirts. Even though your job gets you dirty all the time, you do your best to stay clean as much as possible.

If those bitches had to wash their clothes themselves, I'm sure they wouldn't wear so many.

Today, though, you're having more work than usual. None of your sisters or your mom could help you (usually, this is too tough to be done by one person); the Jeons will be holding a birthday party for their son, which means they were too busy cleaning the gigantic house to help you. You got up earlier than usual and came to the river, knowing that the sooner you'd start, the sooner you'd finish.

You completely lost sight of time, too focused on washing all the items from the basket. You have to stop from time to time to let your arms rest. You're sure that, soon, your biceps will be more muscular than your older brother's. You exhale heavily and wipe the sweat from your forehead with the back of your hand; at least, this is the last skirt.

That's when you hear a soft cough somewhere near.

You turn your head and gasp.

He is standing there. Way closer than the usual.

You immediately avoid his gaze.

"Mr. Jeon," you say. "You scared me."

"I apologize." Jungkook says, smiling. It's annoying how he always has this smile on his lips. It's annoying how he always looks handsome, it doesn't matter what he's wearing.

It's annoying how your heart starts beating faster and you feel a heat creeping on your neck.

"Did you need something, sir?" You ask, grabbing the skirt you've been scrubbing for the past few minutes. You try your hardest to pretend you're not affected by his presence. "Unfortunately, I can't help you now, but I'm sure that my mother and my sisters can."

"No, I don't need anything," he says, shaking his hands dismissively. "I'm just watching you." He tilts his head. "It seems like a tiring work."

You try your hardest not to roll your eyes. You bet, idiot. "It sure is a tiring work, sir."

"Oh, there's no need to call me 'sir'. You can call me Jungkook." His voice sounds annoyingly lighthearted.

"I can't. It would be inappropriate, sir." You reply, focusing your gaze on your hands as you pass more soap on the skirt, trying not to think about how he's annoyingly close. 

"Why?" He asks as if he doesn't already know why.

"You're my boss, sir. That's why I call you sir, sir." 

This time, you weren't able to hide the aggressiveness in your voice.

Jungkook frowns. At least he realized how his presence is unwanted… and he looks confused. As if he had never met a woman that didn't fawn over him.

Well… he probably didn't. 

You start to scrub the skirt again, completely ignoring his existence. With the corner of your eye, you can see Jungkook shifting uncomfortably. He's definitely not used to be ignored.

You have to learn one thing or two, rich boy.

After rinsing and wringing the skirt tightly, you sigh in relief. At least this is done. You put it back on the basket and get up, ready to walk back to where the clotheslines are.

"Oh, wait," you hear Jungkook exclaiming. Your heart almost stops beating when he rushes to your side. "This looks heavy. Let me help you."

"No!" You blink, realizing that perhaps you were a little too rude. "I mean- this is not necessary, sir. I can carry it by myself."

"I can't see a lady carrying so much weight and do nothing. Please, let me help."

You hate that smile. God, you hate it.

When he extends his arms, ready to grab the basket from your hands, you step away and look at him with worry and seriousness on your features.

"Sir, please. If your mother sees you helping me, she will not like it."

Jungkook stares at you with confusion.

Are you stupid?, you feel the urge to ask. Doesn't he know his own mother?

"She won't do anything, Y/N." Your eyes widen. You didn't know that Jungkook knew your name. "I can deal with her. Now, please, let me carry this. I just want to be polite."

You stare at him for a few seconds. Well, at least it seems that he really wants to help. You sigh, giving in, and nod. "Very well," you say.

He smiles again. He really has a mesmerizing smile.

When Jungkook takes the basket, he frowns and looks surprised. "This is heavier than I expected."

You asked for it!

You start walking side by side in an uncomfortable silence. You're sure that Jungkook thought you'd be happy or pleased, and he looks confused that you're clearly not. You don't want to be close to him. You don't want to see him smiling and trying to be polite. You don't want to feel your stomach twirling in excitement just because he's close or because he knows your name.

"Do you carry all this by yourself every time?" Jungkook asks at some point.

"I usually have my sisters' help. Sometimes we carry three or four baskets."

Jungkook lifts his eyebrows. Surprised? Can you tell your mother and sister to stop being dirty pigs that give us so much work, then?

Silence reigns above you again. It's painful. This farm is enormous, so it'll take some minutes of walking to arrive there. You don't think you'll be able to bear this.

"Actually," Jungkook starts all of sudden, sounding quiet and… hesitant. "I want to invite you to my birthday party tomorrow. I'd be really glad if you came."

He looks at you and smiles timidly.

This time, you can't hold back a huff.

Jungkook looks confused again.

"Are you serious?" You also forget to be polite.

"Of course I'm serious."

You smirk, but there's no hint of happiness on your smile. Your eyes look so mad that Jungkook is taken aback.

"Thank you for the invitation, sir," you say as you take the basket from his hands forcefully. "but servants are not allowed to attend parties."

You walk away at a fast pace. Jungkook at least has the decency to not follow you.

What is he thinking?!

His mother would kill you if she saw you there. You have no dress for such occasion; you'd be a joke. Imagine, you - a servant in a party where only the high society of this town would attend!

It's so ridiculous that you get mad.

You know what Jungkook wanted with this. You may be a dreamer, but you're not stupid. Men like him are used to seduce poor girls just for fun; they fool them, make them think that they love them, make them think that they're princes and that they came to give those girls a better life. But it all ends when they have enough of them or when they find a rich girl to marry. It's not as if he had any type of true interest in you. 

You're angry and sad.

People like you and people like Jungkook are not meant to be.

Two weeks have passed by when you meet him again.

As usual, you're kneeled down by the river, scrubbing a sheet against the surface of the rock. Since today there are less clothes to wash than the usual, you decided to come by yourself. As it always seems to happen, you got too immersed in your task to pay attention to your surroundings. This time, though, you have a reason to be so inattentive.

Your friends told you that Seokjin is planning to propose to you.

Seokjin is a good man. It seems that he genuinely cares about you. He's also very good-looking and polite. Any other woman would be happy to marry him.

But you don't want to marry someone just because of their looks.

At the same time, if you don't get married soon, you'll get a bad reputation.

What to do? You have no idea. Perhaps you should forget your own dreams and start listening to your mother…

"Good afternoon."

You gasp, startled, and the soap bar almost slips from your hands.

It's Jungkook again.

"Why must you always be so sneaky, sir?" You say, putting your hand over your chest.

Jungkook doesn't say anything - he just looks at you and the clothes instead, eyebrows furrowed. Were you really so inattentive or is Jungkook this silent?

He then pushes the sleeves of his shirt and kneels down by your side.

You widen your eyes as you see him taking one sheet from the basket.

"W-What are you doing?" You're frozen in place.

"I'm helping." He takes the soap bar from your hands. When his fingers touches yours, you shiver.

"Sir- there's no need-"

"I want to."

"What if someone sees you?!" 

Jungkook looks around. "There's nobody here. I doubt that someone will come."

You stare at him, jaw dropped, as Jungkook passes soap on the sheet. You notice he's trying to imitate your movements - except he's being much more aggressive.

You come back to your senses. "No. Stop!"

You put your hand over his, making him stop.

Your eyes meet.

You feel goosebumps.

"I-If you keep scrubbing like this, you'll end up ripping it off," you stutter, taking your hand off of his. "Don't put so much strength. Be more gentle."

Jungkook nods. You watch, too shocked to say anything, as he does what you said.

Silence falls over you two - but it's not an uncomfortable silence this time. You still can't tell exactly what's happening. For a while, you two just keep scrubbing clothes, the sound of the flowing river reigning.

Until you can't hold back a giggle.

"What?" He immediately asks. You shake your head, avoiding his gaze.

"I never thought I'd see a man washing clothes, sir." You admit. "It's quite interesting."

Jungkook shrugs. "I just didn't want to see you doing all this by yourself." He has to stop for a moment and take a deep breath - way sooner than you usually do. "This is more tiring than I thought it would be."

You giggle again. "Now, imagine doing this more than once per week, sir."

He frowns his eyebrows. After more scrubbing, he lifts the sheet with both hands and looks at you. Your stomach jumps in a funny way. His eyes are big and round in an innocent expression. "Is it clean now?"

"Not even close." 

Jungkook exhales and tilts his head in an adorable way. Why everything he does makes your heart flutter like this? 

"Let's work more, then." He says, taking the soap bar again.

You don't know why he is even trying.

But you can't say you're not enjoying it.

"What do you mean, you don't need help?" Your sister asks, completely confused.

You avoid her gaze and take the basket on your hands absently. "I can do this by myself today. Besides, you were a little sick, weren't you? You should rest."

"And since when do you care?"

"I always cared." You glare at her, offended. "I'm leaving now before you make me change my mind." 

Before she can say anything else, you walk out of the house carrying the heavy basket.

Of course I'm doing this because I care, you think, frowning. Of course. She had a fever. She has to rest today.

Of course I'm not doing this because I hope that Jungkook will show up again.

Of course not.

A strange heat reaches your neck.

You still don't know why the Jeon insisted on helping you. Any man would feel ashamed to do this type of work. Yet, Jungkook stayed with you until both of you finished washing all the items in the basket. 

He did not complain. He did not make any type of bad comment about you.

In fact, he didn't even try to court you. He just… talked to you.

This, itself, is already surprising.

You're used to being treated like nothing by people on his level. Rich people think that poor people aren't even people in the first place. Besides, it wouldn't be the first time a rich man tried to get under your skirt. Jungkook, however, was respectful all the time. He didn't treat you as if you were a brainless peasant. You talked about many things. Being around him didn’t feel overwhelming… it was comfortable.

You know you shouldn’t be craving for his company, but you do. After that day, every week you see yourself finding an excuse to go to the river alone, hoping that he will come - and he actually comes to help you. Jungkook learned how to wash clothes properly really fast. Every time he comes, you finish all the work pretty quickly, what disappoints you deep down, because you want more opportunities to spend time with him.

If back then you just felt attracted by Jungkook’s appearance… well, now you’re starting to feel something more.

Even though there’s a voice in your mind yelling that this won’t end up well.

You arrive at the usual spot by the river and place the basket on the floor, getting ready to  work. Unconsciously, you keep looking at your surroundings, hoping that his figure will peek in the horizon at any time. You already feel your heart beating rapidly with nervousness. He might not want to come today. He might have things to do. Why would he even want to come anyway? This is ridiculous-

“Searching for me, Y/N?” You scream, completely startled, when a voice says right by your side.

Jungkook laughs joyfully, satisfied with your reaction. You glare at him. “What’s your problem, sir?”

“It’s not my fault if you get scared so easily.” He shrugs, faking an innocent expression. He sits by your side and crosses his legs. Something you noticed recently is that Jungkook doesn’t exactly act like a gentleman - he walks around barefoot, laughs loudly, sits with crossed legs like he’s doing right now, and the stranger of all: helps a woman washing clothes. He definitely doesn’t act like all the other man you know. You always knew he was an odd man, but day after day it gets more surprising. “Did you miss me?”

“Certainly not.” you roll your eyes. “I was hoping that you wouldn’t come to bother me.”

What a liar.

“Sure.” Jungkook side eyes you suspiciously. “I can leave if you want… but then, I won’t give you the present I brought with me.”

“What?” you look at him, feeling your heart race. Did he bring you a present…?

“As I said, I’m won’t give you the present… unless you ask me to stay.” He says in a childish manner, a teasing glint in his eyes. He starts to get up as if to leave.

“Wait.” You call. Your pride screams in pain. Jungkook stops midway and waits for you to say something. You roll your eyes again (your eyes tend to roll a lot when he’s around). “Stay, please.”

He grins widely and sits down again, reaching for something in a bag behind him. “Since you told me you were tired of reading the same books, I thought you’d like this.”

Jungkook hands you a book happily.

Your breath almost gets caught on your throat.

“Sir, I… I can’t accept this,” you say, although you want to take the book.

“Why not?” He looks confused.

“B-Because… well… where did you take this book from?”

“From the library in my house.”

“What if they notice that one book is missing? What if someone caughts me with it?” You say, already feeling the fear underneath your skin.

“Did you see the size of that library? Do you know how many books are there?” he lifts his eyebrows. Yes, you know the Jeon’s gigantic library. You’ve dreamed of having a library like this many times. There are hundreds of books in it. “They will never notice that one book is missing. Besides, no one reads anything in that house. My mother just keeps the library for fashion.” Jungkook then takes your hand with his own - what makes a warmth spread through your body - and puts the book over it, the most beautiful smile on his lips. “There’s nothing to worry about, Y/N. Please, accept it.”

You stare at the book.  A strange sensation fills up your heart.

Jungkook remembered your conversation and paid attention to what you said. You are, indeed, tired of reading the same three books you own over and over again - books are expensive, your family can’t waste any money with anything other than food. Besides… most people usually don’t approve your liking for books. Your mother herself has already said that you shouldn’t even have learned how to read; she says that a woman must only know how to cook, how to clean and how to respect her husband. 

It’s the first time someone takes your interests seriously. This is the most thoughtful present you have ever received.

You can’t hold back a smile.

“I… I don’t know what to say.” you confess in a shy whisper. “Thank you so much, Jungkook.”

He gasps.

“You said my name.” He smiles widely. “It’s the first time you say my name.”

You feel your cheeks heating up. “D-Don’t get used to it.”

Jungkook laughs again, and this time, you laugh as well.

This strange sensation in your heart seems to be overflowing.

This won’t end up well.

“Do you know how to ride a horse?”

You frown, eyes focused on the shirt between your hands. “Not really, sir.”

“Would you like to learn?”

You stop and stare at him.

There’s that glint in Jungkook’s eyes - the glint that says he’s planning something.

“I confess I would like to, but I don’t have time. Nor permission.” You say, looking at the shirt again.

“Why? Your brothers ride the horses.” Again, it seems that Jungkook doesn’t know his own family.

“My brothers and my father are farmers. They need to ride the horses to take care of the herd.”

“Alright. But you want to learn, don’t you?”

You stop again and look at him suspiciously.

“What do you mean, sir?”

He smiles in a playful way, almost like a child. “I just thought that you would want to take a break from all the work.”

“Sir, I can’t take breaks.” You exclaim. Jungkook doesn’t understand that you can’t do whatever you want. “I have to work. What if someone caughts me?”

“You’ll be with me.”

“And? I’m sure nobody would do anything to you, but I’d certainly get punished.” After so long, you feel intimate enough to be a little rude to him. “You’ve already been very kind to me, giving me all those books. That’s enough, sir. I’m thankful.”

“But reading books isn’t nearly as fun as riding a horse.” His stubbornness can be annoying at times. “Come on, Y/N. Just once!”

“No. My family will notice that I’m taking too long to finish.”

“We almost finished way sooner than usual. Nobody will notice.”

“Sir-”

“Please?”

You freeze when he takes both of your hands in his.

Your heartbeat increases, your eyes widen. Jungkook doesn’t touch you so often - he is very polite - but when he does, your body reacts immediately. Being close to him can be a torture sometimes. He is good, intelligent, funny… and extremely handsome. You look forward to meeting him every week. At times, you’re way slower than usual, just to spend more time with him. 

Your feelings for him have grown quickly like fire spreading in the woods.

This won’t end up well, the voice insists to whisper on your ears angrily.

Jungkook has his big pleading eyes staring at you. 

This won’t end up well. This won’t end up well. This won’t end up well. This won’t end up-

“Alright,” you sigh, giving in. Jungkook giggles excitedly. “But just today! And not for too long.”

Jungkook helps you to get up and guides you to his horse: a beautiful all-brown animal, tall and strong. This horse is probably healthier than me, you think. Master Jeon values his awarded horses a lot… more than his own family.

"Come. He's a very calm animal. He won't hurt you." Jungkook encourages, offering his hand for you to take. You look around, worried that someone might be watching. You're glad that this farm is so incredibly big and that your usual spot by the river is so far from the plantations, the main house and the stables where everyone usually stays.

At the same time, sheer excitement bubbles inside of you.

You take Jungkook's hand.

He helps you to sit on the horse's back. "Stay calm," Jungkook advises. "He can feel if you're nervous or not."

"I'm not nervous," you state, holding the reins the way you've always seen your brothers doing. 

He keeps giving you instructions before guiding the horse slowly for a while. The animal is very obedient; it follows Jungkook's commands without complaining. 

"Do you think you can guide it by yourself now?" He asks. You nod confidently.

"Yes."

Jungkook steps away.

He can't hide his utter shock when he sees you riding the animal as if you were born doing so.

The horse obeys you easily as you guide him around. Soon, you feel brave enough to ride faster. The speed, the wind on your face and hair, the excitement of doing something you shouldn't - all of this makes you laugh at the top of your lungs.

Perhaps Jungkook was right when he said that riding horses is funnier than reading books…

"I have to admit, I'm impressed," he says when you stop by his side again. "You didn't even need help."

"Well, I've been watching my father doing this my whole life." You shrug. 

"But why did you stop?"

"Because this is enough for today." You say even though it disappoints you. "I don't want to put myself in danger. Can you help me…?"

Jungkook lifts his arms, ready to pick you up. You put your hand on his shoulders.

You lose balance and almost fall. Jungkook catches your body in time.

You freeze.

His hands are firmly placed on each side of your waist; your hands are on his chest. You're way too close.

Your faces, millimeters apart.

Dangerously close.

He's so close that you can feel his breath. So close that you can see every little detail on his face. So close that you feel your whole body heat up. So close that you can feel his heart beat rapidly under your palm.

So close that, if you simply leaned your head forward, your lips would touch.

And you really, really want to.

But you step back. 

"Hm… thank you." You avoid his gaze, embarrassed. You've never been this close to a man before… and Jungkook's not just any man. He's the man that makes your heart beat fast and the man that understands and respects you and the man that doesn't underestimate you. He's the man who you can talk to, who you can laugh with, who always manages to brighten your day.

He is the right man.

But, at the same time, he is the wrong man.

That's why you step back. That's why you walk away with your head lowered.

Because it doesn't matter how much you want it - you and him will never end up well.

This week, Jungkook brought two horses.

You got surprised and excited, but pretended to be angry. I said that I'd do it once, sir!

But here you are - riding by his side.

Jungkook let you ride the same brown horse again, since the animal might be more familiarized with you. You completely lost sight of time, too entertained in the feeling of freedom that riding a horse can provide.

You're also lost in Jungkook's beauty.

He looks astonishing: his strong arms, his veiny hands holding the reins with ease. The way his soft hair bounces and waves with the wind. His confident posture. 

You had to stop looking - otherwise you'd fall from the horse.

You're so entertained that you don't care when the sky becomes dark with heavy storm clouds. 

"Sir, it's raining!" You scream so he can hear. Not that you needed to say anything: thunder echoes around you, and the first heavy drops starts falling from the sky. You're worried. Everybody knows that being in an open field under a storm is never a good idea.

"It's too late to try to go back to the house," Jungkook says. "We need coverage!"

Without saying anything else, you follow him down the hill at a fast pace, the heavy rain whipping your faces and bodies. You realize where Jungkook is heading to: the warehouse. You manage to put yourselves and the horses inside of the empty building.

Your heart beats fast with adrenaline. Jungkook laughs, looking at his damp clothes. You're not better than him. Usually, you'd be angry with this situation… but now, all you can do is laugh as well.

"We should pay more attention next time," you say. Your clothes and hair are dripping.

"But it was fun, wasn't it?" Jungkook asks. You shrug and smile. The noise of the wind and the water hitting against the warehouse's ceiling violently is unsettling and loud.

"I love to see you smile."

You freeze.

What…?

Jungkook is looking at you with a sweet smile on his lips. His eyes, however, are clouded with something you've never seen before. It's enough to make your stomach twirl and a shiver run underneath your skin.

He steps closer.

This won't end up well.

This time, though, you don't back away.

You stand firm, gaze locked with his, as Jungkook puts a strand of wet hair behind your ear.

All you can hear is the beating of your heart. All you can see is his face.

This won't end up well.

Jungkook analyzes your features carefully, almost as if he's searching for something.

"I know this might sound strange," he says, his voice almost disappearing between the loud noises of the storm. "But sometimes, when I look at you, I… I feel that I already know you."

"But you know me." You whisper back.

"No. I mean… I mean that it feels like I've known you for a long time. More time than I can remember…"

It confuses you.

But, at the same time, it makes sense.

Being with Jungkook feels… familiar. Almost like a distant childhood memory. Something you can't picture or explain. You just know that it's there; it exists.

Your feelings for him.

This familiarity is still there when Jungkook closes the distance and kisses you; when your lips move slowly, in synchronicity, with raw passion. It feels new but familiar when his hands touch your body and when you feel his warm skin under his clothes. Even though it's the first time, the weight of his body over yours seems familiar. The way your members entangle, your fingers gripping his hair, his lips on your neck, the heat, the sweat, the pleasure.

It feels familiar.

It feels like home. 

And it feels bittersweet. 

Because, deep down… the voice that says that this won't end up well is still echoing.

Something tells you that you should believe it.

"Sister, are you alright?" 

You hold your stomach with one hand and wipe your mouth with the back of the other hand. The horrible taste of vomit washes your mouth.

"Y-Yes. It was probably something I ate-"

More vomit erupts through your lips. Your sister puts her hand on your back and pats it gently. 

"But if it was something you ate, then all of us should be feeling sick as well." She says. "You must be sick. We should call the doctor. I'll tell mom-"

You hold her hand tightly.

"Don't tell mom." You say firmly. "I'm alright."

Your sister frowns, confused. "But, Y/N, you've been feeling unwell for some days. What if it's something serious? What if…"

She blinks rapidly.

"What if…?"

You see the moment her astute eyes gleam with realization.

"Sister… are you…?"

"Am I what?" You ask in a defensive manner - trying to hide your fear.

Her jaw is dropped, eyes widened.

"How could you?!" She half whispers, half screams. You watch as a mix of feelings surface on her eyes; anger, betrayal, confusion, worry. "You're not married yet! What will people say about you when they notice-?!"

"Notice what?!" You don't want to hear the words. If she says it, it'll become real. It can't be real.

"I saw you with him. I saw you with Jungkook."

Freezing fear creeps on you.

"I followed you some days ago and saw you together. Do you think I wouldn't notice that something was wrong? You've been insisting to wash the clothes by yourself for months. Everyone knows you hate to do this!"

You don't know what to say. 

You feel stupid. Desperate. Scared.

You don't even notice when the tears start streaming down your cheeks.

"I don't know what to do." You whisper weakly.

Your sister shakes her head. "Did he propose to you, at least? You must marry him now. It's the only way to regain your honor."

You shake your head. "I… I'll talk to him. I must talk to him today."

The girl swipes her hand over her face as she starts to feel desperate for you. "Why did you let him do this to you, Y/N…?"

"You don't understand." You're quick to say. "We love each other. We… we'll figure out what to do. We'll find a way out."

You know you're just saying this to calm yourself down. You have no idea if you'll figure out what to do. You don't even know what Jungkook's reaction will be when he finds out…

That's the only thing in your mind as you wait for him, leaning under a tree. Your fingers are shaking, your breathing is short and rapid. What if Jungkook abandons me? What will I do? My parents will never forgive me. No one will help me at the town. They'll be ashamed of me and they'll hate me.

You should have figured that this would happen. After all these nights when you sneaked out of your house to meet him…  The tears start falling again, followed by quiet sobs. You destroyed your life. A dishonored woman. A prostitute…

"Y/N, what's wrong?!"

You see Jungkook running to you, worry covering his features the moment he realizes you're crying. He holds your face with both hands. "What happened? Did someone hurt you? Something happened with your family?"

The uncontrollable sobs won't let you speak. Instead, you just let yourself cry as Jungkook hugs you tightly, even though he doesn't understand what's happening.

It takes a long time for you to calm down.

"J-Jungkook…" you step away from him. Your eyes are glued to the floor. You're not brave enough to look at him and see his reaction.

"Yes, darling? What happened?" He asks, voice full of worry and care.

You gulp.

He has to know.

"I-I'm pregnant." 

Silence.

The silence lasts for so long that you think he didn't hear.

You finally have the courage to look up at him…

And you see Jungkook's eyes welled up with tears, the most beautiful smile adorning his lips.

"Pregnant?" He whispers weakly as the first tear trickles down his cheek. "You're pregnant?"

"...yes."

"Am I going to be a father?" 

"Yes."

Jungkook laughs and engulfs you in a hug.

From all the reactions you thought of, this is the one you were least expecting - but that's the one you were secretly hoping for the most. Jungkook hugs you tightly, kisses the top of your head, your forehead, your cheeks, your lips, whispering "I love you"s in between. You're so astonished that you have no reaction at all.

"You made me the happiest man in the world today, Y/N," he grins widely and sniffs. "I'll be a father! You're carrying our child!"

"Are you really happy?" You ask timidly, almost suspicious.

"Why wouldn't I be?! I love you." He holds your face and kisses your lips sweetly. "I love you. God, I love you."

You feel overwhelmed by his words. A smile finally appears on your lips.

"What will we do, Jungkook?" Your voice still sounds weak. "We should get married…"

This is the moment his smile faces away.

His features change in an instant - from utter joy, to deep concern. He frowns and blinks, licks his lips.

"We need to do something." He agrees.

"You must talk to my parents-"

"We need to run away from here."

You gasp.

"Run away? Why?" You ask, confused. "If we get married as soon as possible, people won't notice-"

"No. We need to leave the town. We need to disappear." The hurry and worry in his voice makes you uneasy.

"Jungkook, I have a family. I can't leave them behind."

"Darling, you don't understand," he cups your cheeks again. "My father, he's- he's dangerous. He would never accept our marriage. I don't know what he might do to you if he finds out…"

You've heard rumors before. People feared Master Jeon at the town, it was common knowledge. You've heard people saying how he could be ruthless when he wanted. But you never thought he would do anything worse than some threatening.

However, Jungkook is his son. He knows Master Jeon better than you do. If his son looks so frightened of what his own father might do…

Fear makes your body temperature decrease.

"I will protect your family." Jungkook continues. "I'll make sure that nothing bad happens to them and I'll find a way to take them out of here. But, first, we need to leave. As soon as possible."

Jungkook places his hand over your stomach in a reassuring way.

"I will never let anyone hurt you. I will protect you and our child."

The confidence in which he says this makes your heart feel warm. 

You trust him.

The small inn is nearly empty, but it doesn't make you any less nervous. Your heart is tight with insecurity and worry. You did everything Jungkook said: you left the house in the middle of the night, you didn't tell anything to your family (what was so painful that made you cry all the way out of the farm), you just brought a small case with a few clothes (not that you own many anyway). He asked you to wait here while he prepares everything. You plan to disappear tonight.

You put your hand on your belly and caress it; it's still hard to believe that there's someone growing inside of you, that in a few months you'll have a baby in your arms. The idea is terrifying… and reassuring. This child is the proof of your love. You love each other - and this love is so great that you couldn't keep it to yourselves only; this child is the result. It doesn't matter that you're not married yet or that life will definitely be more difficult from now on. You already love this child.

A small smile adorns your lips as the image of a baby boy with Jungkook's big eyes appears in your mind.

Everything will be alright. We have each other.

But you can't fight the insecurity and the growing anxiety.

You desperately want this to work out. You want to spend the rest of your life with Jungkook… but that pessimistic voice still echoes in your head, even though you've been trying to shut it. Almost as if… almost as if you've already faced a great disappointment in the past.

This feeling doesn't make sense. You would have remembered such suffering.

As time goes by, you start to get even more impatient and nervous. Your heart feels tight in a way you never felt before. What if something went wrong? Why is Jungkook taking so long?

That's when you hear the door cracking open behind you.

You immediately get up and smile, relief lifting the invisible weight from your shoulders. "Jungkook, I thought-"

When you turn around, the smile on your lips dies.

You're paralyzed.

Unconsciously, you take one step back.

"M-Master Jeon." You whisper weakly.

The man stares at you in a way that makes you feel small.

He enters the room and closes the door behind him. You take another step back.

He analyzes you from head to toe. His eyes are as cold as ice, as sharp as blades and as judging as the eyes of an executor. You feel impossibly cold. Your throat is dry. There's an acrid taste in your tongue.

This man always scared you. He barely even interacted with you in all the years that you and your family worked for him, but in the few times he did, it was always unpleasant. He treated your father badly, but this was nothing out of the extraordinary; his wife was equally awful to you, your mother and sisters. You always thought he was just another rich and arrogant man like many others you've met.

Tonight, however, you see in those eyes something you've never noticed and you've never seen in anyone.

He isn't just an arrogant man.

He represents real danger.

Master Jeon smirks. 

You instinctively put your hands on your stomach. Master Jeon follows the action with his eyes and tilts his head.

"I can't tell if you were smart or naive," the man starts. His voice makes your bones feel frozen. "I can't blame you for wanting a better life, kid. I guess that's all people like you dream of. But you choose the wrong person to take advantage of."

Your breathing is difficult. "W-What do you mean?"

"Don't play stupid with me, girl." He warns. "This situation is really bothersome. See, I let you and your family live in my property, let you eat my food and drink my water… and that's how you act with me? Try to trick my son? That's very low of you."

Your face contorts in disgust when you realize what he means. "You think I seduced Jungkook?! You're wrong! We love each other!"

"Don't make me laugh, kid." Master Jeon shakes his head as if he's reprimanding a little stubborn child. "Love you? Hah! You're a nobody." His eyes, once again, analyze you from head to toe. "I can't blame Jungkook for falling to your charms, though. It would be such a waste if he simply ignored you."

The disgust deepens. The way he talks about you makes you feel dirty. 

"But you see, kid, I'm not an evil man." He sarcastically says. "I don't like the idea of hurting women, a pregnant woman on top of that. I'm a good christian. And because of that, I'll give you a chance of ending this uncomfortable situation."

"I don't want to hear it," you say, although you felt your whole body shivering when he talked about hurting women. "You can't buy me. You can't separate me and Jungkook."

Master Jeon laughs darkly.

"Oh, darling. I can." Another shiver runs down your spine. "I want you to disappear forever. There's a carriage out there waiting for you. You'll never see my son again. Like this, you can give birth to your child peacefully and live your life as if you've never met him."

"No!" The anger overwhelms the fear and you end up screaming. "Jungkook is the father! You can't separate a father from his child!"

Master Jeon laughs as if you just told the funniest joke he ever heard. "Oh, you think you're so important, don't you? This child is a nobody, just like you. Jungkook made a mistake. He's a young man! Men make mistakes like this all the time. We're imperfect beings, after all. Don't you think that just because you're pregnant he has any responsibility over your child."

You're so shocked that you don't know what to say; your sight seems painted in red with pure anger. 

"You can't control me. You can't control us." Your fists tighten. "I won't leave."

Master Jeon's jaw clenches.

When he speaks again, his voice is dangerously low. 

"I said that I don't like the idea of hurting you… but what about your family, huh?"

You feel the world crumbling under your feet.

"W-What…?"

"Your family… a bunch of hungry rats. You've never really done a good job, in my opinion. Maybe it's time to get rid of all of them?"

Your hands start shaking.

"W-What do you m-mean…?"

"Do you know where my men are right now, kid?" A glint of satisfaction crosses Master Jeon's eyes when he sees your panic. "They're surrounding your small house. One order… and they'll burn it down. Your parents and your siblings are fast asleep right now, huh? I wonder how long will it take until they notice the fire…"

"No!"

Out of your wildest instincts, you throw yourself over him, fists tight, trying to hurt him everywhere you can touch. It's useless, though, for Master Jeon is overwhelmingly stronger than you and manages to grip your wrists in an instant.

"See how easily I can destroy your life?" He hisses. "Nobody would even notice that you and your family disappeared. That's because you're nothing, Y/N. You don't exist. This child doesn't exist. I won't let my son waste more time with you." Tears are rolling down your cheeks at this point. You've never been so scared in your life. "The only way to protect your family is to leave. So, what do you choose, huh?"

You look at Master Jeon right in the eye.

You know he isn't lying. You know this isn't the first time he kills someone - and he doesn't even feel guilty about it.

He just doesn't care.

You think of your family. They can't be punished because of your actions.

More than that… you think of your child. Their life depends on yours. You can't be imprudent anymore. 

You think of Jungkook.

It hurts so much that it feels as if you've been physically impalled. But, weakly and hesitantly, you nod.

"... I'll leave."

Master Jeon smiles, satisfied, and lets go of your wrists. "Good girl."

You don't have any strength to walk as Master Jeon's men take you to the carriage. The tears fall nonstop, you can't choke the sobs. You didn't even say goodbye to your family. They would never know what happened to you; you think of how painful it will be to your parents, searching for their daughter, never knowing if she's alive or not…

Jungkook will think you ran away from him. He'll never meet his own child. He'll never take them in his arms. 

You will never be in his arms once again.

You hug your own body, feeling empty and cold.

Why is the Universe so cruel to you? Why did it make you and Jungkook be part of completely different worlds? 

Why can't it let you be together?

You almost feel as if there are invisible shackles chaining your wrists tightly.

Only if you were not you, and he was not him… if you had different lives…

Quietly, you swear to yourself… if there is another life, then I'll go after Jungkook.

I will never give up on him.

I will never rest until we can finally be together.

× 1914 × 

"Sir," Jungkook starts, nervousness very evident in his posture and voice. "I love your daughter."

You nervously watch your father's reaction. He doesn't move, watching Jungkook very carefully. You fiddle with your fingers nervously. Your mother caresses your back, trying to calm you down at least a little.

"I promise I will take care of her, protect her and respect her until my last days." At the same time you feel touched, you also want to laugh. Jungkook is speaking in such a serious voice - he usually doesn't talk like this. It's endearing and makes your heart feel warm. "I will never hurt her or let her down. I ask you to approve our union, sir." He coughs and shifts. "Hmm… Please."

You try your hardest not to laugh, and so does your mother. God, he's adorable.

Your father still stares at Jungkook very seriously (threateningly) for long seconds. Long. Long. Seconds.

Jungkook is trying his best not to gulp.

"I know you since you were a kid, Jungkook. I know you very well." He gets up from the couch. "That's why I can't…"

Jungkook holds his breath.

So do you.

Your father finally breaks a smile.

"That's why I can't say no. You have my blessing."

Jungkook sighs in relief.

You get up in a jump and hug him, letting an excited scream slash the air. The atmosphere in the room immediately becomes light-hearted. 

"You didn't need to scare him so much, darling," your mother reprimands, although she has a smile on her lips. "We all knew you'd say yes."

"I had to put some pressure on him." Your father smiles widely and shakes Jungkook's hand. "I'm glad that you'll be part of our family, son." He then pushes Jungkook closer and his smile disappears. "But if you ever make my daughter cry, I will kill you."

"Darling!" Your mother exclaims.

You laugh and intertwine your fingers with his.

Jungkook and you are childhood friends - and you're in love with him ever since you can remember. He is not only your lover, but also your best friend. This is the moment you've been waiting for a long time; in a strange way, you always knew it would be him. It almost feels as if you've been perfectly crafted for each other. 

Your and Jungkook's families are very close. The village you live in is thriving and pacific. You're excited to tell your friends the good news; honestly, it seems that entire village knew it would happen someday.

Life is good.

And it is about to be even better now.

Nothing can put you and Jungkook apart.

You're walking down the street towards the grocery store in the morning when you notice a strange commotion.

The central square is more crowded than usual. There's an uncommon heavy tension hovering in the air; people talk to each other with worried expressions. Even Jungkook is standing outside of the grocery store, discussing with a neighbor. A frown shadows his features.

"Good morning." You greet the men. "What's happening?"

"Didn't you read the journal today?" Jungkook asks. His expression worries you even more.

He hands you the newspaper. 

The headline is written in bold, capital letters.

"War?" You mutter. It feels as if your inner temperature immediately decreases. "B-But… why?"

"Those important men," the old man who Jungkook was talking to scoffs. "They want to fight between themselves and end up involving everyone else!"

"B-But this is big." you mutter as your eyes quickly read down the page. Now you understand why everyone seemed so tense. "How many countries are involved…?"

"It seems that the troops are already marching." Another man says.

You just notice that your fingers were shaking when Jungkook holds your hand in a reassuring way.

You look at each other.

"This sounds horrible, Jungkook." 

"I know." He nods. "But I doubt that it will last too long. Besides, we're more than safe. This village is so far from anywhere important. We won't even notice anything."

You nod as well, staring at his reassuring eyes.

Of course, the news that a war started are bad. But Jungkook is right. There's no way you'll be involved in this. It's not as if it will be able to prevent your wedding.

It's not as if it can put you and Jungkook apart.

The living room of your house is dead silent.

The place is full of people: your family, neighbors, everyone sat on the couch, chairs or on the floor. The windows are opened, and there are even more neighbors peeking from them, trying to listen to the radio. Since your family is one of the few that possesses this device, you father made sure to invite everyone to listen to the news.

Every word spoken by the radio host seems to be striking through you. 

"Jesus Christ," your mother whispers. She holds the small crucifix close to her chest.

Hundreds. Thousands of dead soldiers, from many nationalities. Not only that: civilian cities have been bombarded as well. The number of dead is so great that the authorities have trouble counting them.

Something heavy and dark called grief hovers above your heads.

You grip Jungkook's hand even tighter. 

Your village is safe…

Right?

You sit quietly at the back of the grocery store and watch Jungkook finally close the doors at night. He looks tense and worried - like everyone else is.

"Look at these shelves. Almost empty." He sighs heavily, putting his hands on each side of his waist. "There's barely any merchandise; they don't sell us anything anymore. They give all the food to feed the soldiers in the battlefield."

"I think they need it more than we do." You say in all honesty.

"Well, yes, but soon we won't have any food."

Jungkook pushes a chair and sits in front of you. Your knees touch, you hold each other's hands. He looks so tired and drained. The war is starting to affect everyone: this grocery store is the only one in the village, and since the food is becoming so scarce, everyone suffers. 

"Jungkook…" you call quietly. He lifts his gaze to look at you. "I was thinking… maybe we should postpone our wedding."

"Why?" He frowns.

"Well… things are so difficult." You shrug sadly. "Besides, I don't think there's any atmosphere for weddings right now."

"Hey!" Jungkook leans closer and puts his hand on your cheek affectionately. "Don't say that. Of course, we won't be able to offer a big party like we imagined, but it doesn't matter, right? We can't let this bother us. We've been dreaming of this moment for years."

You sigh. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." He smiles. You love his smile. You love the way his eyes smile as well every time his lips do. "The situation doesn't matter… as long as we're together."

You can't help but smile, too.

"As long as we're together."

In one week, you’ll finally get married.

But you’re far from feeling happy.

There’s barely any food in the village. Past week, soldiers inspected every house and took the animals with themselves; they just let one chicken per family, and considering that many families didn’t even have animals in the first place, many of them are starting to face famine. Luckily, all the villagers are very united, so everyone made sure to share their food stock.

When you saw those soldiers arriving in the cars, you body paralyzed in sheer panic. Up until now, the war didn’t really seem real. You heard the news on the radio, on the journal, you knew that thousands of soldiers and civilians were dying. When food started to become scarce, it was bothersome, but it still felt too far. When those men wearing uniforms came, though, reality hit you all at once. 

The soldiers weren’t very polite. They entered the houses and took the animals without many explanations - what, of course, angered some people.

“Sir, you can’t take our animals like this!” one of your neighbors complained. When he spoke up, everyone on the main square went dead silent. “We have families, children! If you take our animals, we won’t have anything to eat!”

One of the soldiers - the one with the highest ranking, apparently - approached the man at heavy steps. His eyes reflected some type of anger and impassivity you’ve never seen before.

The eyes of someone who saw too much.

“Your compatriots are dying at this exact moment in the trenches.” His hard voice echoed around the square. “They’re agonizing, being dismembered, being taken away from their families. Offering your animals without complaints is the least thing you can do to minimize their pain. There is a war happening right now, sir. There are more important things to care about other than your family.”

No one dared to say anything else after this.

You feel that you already lost some kilos you shouldn’t have lost. Your dresses and skirts seem larger than they were supposed to be. You try not to complain about it, though; the kids needed to eat more than you, after all, especially now that winter is coming. The temperature at night already feels too cold.

The main square used to be a bright and happy place, even at night, when villagers liked to take late night walks. These days, though, people don’t have the courage to walk at night anymore. It seems that, ever since the war started, the colors of the world are fading away slowly. Everything seems… grey.

“They’re saying that this is the war to end all wars.” Jungkook says quietly. Since the square is empty, you two can have some privacy. Yet, it feels lonely. “But at what cost?”

You sigh heavily. The journals and radio are constantly spreading speeches full of patriotism, trying to make people support the war, but you can’t agree with any of them. Civilian villages like yours and the many others around the country have nothing to do with this war, nor the poor soldiers sent to fight. No one cares about patriotism or honor when a dead body is all that lasted from a loved one.

“But it could be worse,” you say. Small clouds of steam are formed at each breathing. “At least our village isn’t near the front. I can’t even imagine how much these people are suffering.”

Jungkook intertwines his fingers with yours. His cheeks are hollower and he has purple bags under his eyes; he also lost weight. You don’t like to see him like this. “When we planned our wedding months ago, this is not how I expected it to be.”

“Neither did I.” you admit sadly. This feeling of grief seems to be hovering above the village - and the world - all the time; no one feels excited about your wedding. “Are you sure we should still get married, Jungkook? Shouldn’t we wait a little bit more?”

“We can’t give up now that we’re so close.” He always finds the strength to smile when you need him the most. “I… I feel sorry that our wedding won’t be what we expected. I wish we could get married at better times, too. But… we’ll be together. That’s what matters, isn’t it?”

You can’t help but smile and nod.

Yet, something tells you that Jungkook doesn’t want to postpone your wedding because of some darker reason. A reason you don’t really want to consider.

Jungkook puts his arm around your shoulders and pulls you closer, pressing his lips on your temple. “I love you.” he whispers.

“I love you, too.”

In this world full of violence and uncertainty, at least one thing is certain: your love for each other.

That’s when you hear the sound.

It’s far. So far that, for a while, you simply ignore it.

But it becomes louder.

“A thunder?” you wonder, frowning. You and Jungkook look up at the sky at the same time; the clouds don’t look like storm ones. 

The sound repeats.

Both of you sit straight and look at each other. It doesn’t sound like a thunder anymore. 

Some villagers come out of their houses or look through the windows. Just like you, they stare at the sky in confusion.

Jungkook stands up and stares at north, eyes widened. 

You look at the same direction.

Far away, the dark sky lights up - but not in the way that it does when a lightning slashes the air. The light has a reddish color to it. It doesn’t fade away so fast.

The floor trembles under your feet.

“Y/N,” Jungkook calls. His voice sounds quiet, almost too shocked, and worried. “Go home. Now.”

You hear the villagers gasping and getting into their houses again as realization hits them as well.

Bombs.

In the next morning, your village is crowded with soldiers.

None of you were able to sleep at night. The unstoppable sound of the bombs and planes didn’t let you blink an eye. The sounds still seemed to be considerably far, but they were enough to make the floor shake and your worst nightmares become reality.

When the sounds finally stopped, a deep silence reigned.

Some hours after, early in the morning, the sound of cars took place. Cars, carriages and male voices.

Many voices.

Your father didn’t let you and your mother leave the house. You two had to sit there and wait for seemingly endless hours to know what was happening. The nervousness seemed to be eating you up alive.

Finally, your father came back. You and your mother get up at the same time, anxious.

“What’s happening?” you ask in a hurried tone.

You father passes his hand on his head. He looks shocked, worried and scared - all at once.

“A village some kilometers away from here was bombarded last night.” He announces. Your mother gasps and puts her hand over her chest. You just stare at him, frozen in place.

“A-And what are the soldiers doing here?”

His gaze rests in you.

You don’t like that gaze.

“Y/N, they… they…”

“They what?” fear starts to take control. You notice your father holds a folded piece of paper. “What is this?”

You forcefully take the paper from his hands and open it.

“They are spreading this around the village,” your father’s voice sounds somehow guilty.

You can’t move.

“What’s happening, darling?” your mother asks.

No.

“They came to recruit all the young and healthy men to fight in the war.”

Your fingers are shaking. Your eyes are already full of tears.

Jungkook.

You run out of the house, ignoring your parents screaming at you, asking you to stop.

You don’t care that it’s too cold and you’re not wearing appropriate clothes. You don’t care that the city is completely full of soldiers and some of them yell inappropriate comments about you as you run by. You don’t care about the way your neighbors look at you.

They can’t take Jungkook. They can’t.

When you reach the main square, though, your heart drops.

All the young men are standing in lines. The youngest is probably only fourteen years old; the boy cries quietly, trying to choke his own sobs. 

“Don’t take my son away from me!” a woman screams, being held back by other villagers. “He’s just a boy! Please!”

“Shut up, woman!” a soldier screams back at her in a threatening way. 

More people are crying quietly. The sight almost looks like a funeral.

Then, you find him.

He’s already standing there, jaw clenched, fists tight, eyes glued on his feet.

“Jungkook!”

He lifts his gaze.

You see the worry. The anger. The fear. Jungkook has never looked so scared in his life. 

And this is what breaks you.

You try to run to him, but a soldier holds you back. Jungkook looks at you, helpless, as you struggle in a desperate attempt to fight the soldier. Your sight is blurred due to the tears.

“No! You can’t take him! You can’t take him! Jungkook!”

That’s why he didn’t want to postpone the wedding.

He knew that this could happen anytime.

“Stop it, bitch!” the soldier yells and pushes you violently. Your shoulder hits the hard ground and you groan in pain.

“Don’t touch her!”

A commotion starts when Jungkook throws himself over the soldier and punches his face. The young boys don’t know what to do; the villagers can just watch in shock; other soldiers move quickly. Three of them are necessary to take Jungkook away from the soldier. You scream, desperate, when they start to punch and kick him. 

Jungkook lays on the floor, nose bleeding, tears streaming down his cheeks.

“It seems that you already want to start your days in the military with a punishment!” a soldier yells mockingly and spits on him. “This one won’t last a day in the front.”

The front?!

You try to get up, but suddenly feel too weak to do so. Instead, you grab the boot of a soldier nearby. The man looks down at you.

“P-Please,” you whisper. The sobs won’t let you speak properly. “Don’t take him away from me.”

The man stares at you in silence. However, his gaze over you is different from the other soldiers; he looks tired, sad and compassionate. Although he probably has no authorization, he helps you to get up with care.

“I’m sorry.” is all that he can say before walking away.

Panic grows stronger when two soldiers take Jungkook from the floor rather roughly and start dragging him away. 

All the other young men start to march as well, following the orders. Mothers and fathers around you cry harder. Their sons yell their farewells and promises to stay safe.

But you refuse to say goodbye.

“Jungkook! Jungkook!” again, you try to run to him, but a different person holds you back this time: your father. Your voice cracks. You can���t stop crying.

He looks at you behind his shoulder; the soldiers won’t stop dragging him. The fact that the glint of happiness you know so well can’t be seen in his eyes kills you.

The fact that, once again, Jungkook tries to smile in a reassuring way even though he’s bleeding and crying kills you even more.

“I love you,” he says, tears streaming down his cheeks. “I’ll always love you. I’ll always come back to you.”

He disappears inside one of the cars.

You scream until your throat hurts. You cry until your chest aches and your sight is unclear. Your parents don’t let you run after the car as the troops leave the village, taking all the young and healthy men with them.

Taking the love of your life with them.

And you couldn’t even touch him one last time.

× 1915 ×

You don’t look at yourself in the mirror anymore.

You know that you’re way too thin, way too drained out of any life that still lasted inside of you. Long gone is the happy girl you used to be. She is dead.

It seems that happiness itself disappeared from this world.

Many villagers died during the year due to famine, diseases, or the severe winter. Soldiers came to the village to take as many clothes they could find - the army needed fabric to make more uniforms. It seems that the sun doesn’t shine as much as it used to. The sky isn’t as blue. Birds don’t chirp anymore.

You don’t even feel too shocked anymore when you hear the terrifying sirens and the sound of bombers from far and you’re all forced to hide in the few deep enough basements in the village.

The only thing you do is wonder where he is.

You didn’t receive any letter. Any report. Nothing. But you know he is alive, because no one came to your house bringing a folded flag and a medal as they always do to honor a fallen soldier.

Many of the boys that were forcefully dragged into the war have fallen.

But Jungkook hasn’t. This is what brings you hope. This is why you sit close to the radio day and night in the hopes to hear any news, any hint of his whereabouts. For weeks, the radio is silent, meaning that something broke the connection. But it always starts working again.

He will come back. 

You managed to hide your wedding dress from the soldiers. It’s still inside the wardrobe, untouched.

× 1916 ×

One morning, someone knocks on your front door.

You dreamed of this moment multiple times. The moment when Jungkook would come back, safe and sound, wearing a uniform. He would smile and hug you. His body and soul might be hurt, but you’re sure that you could help him get over whatever horrors he witnessed. 

You could face anything together. 

But you already know it isn’t him before you open the door. 

Instead, another soldier stands in front of you.

He carries a perfectly folded flag in his arms.

In this moment, something inside of you dies.

You lost sight of time.

An hour might have passed by. A day, a week. You have no idea. You cried yourself asleep so many times that it made difficult to know.

The flag doesn’t smell like him. It doesn’t represent him. Still, you hug it close to your chest as if it was him. The fabric is humid with your endless tears. 

Why is the Universe so cruel?

Why couldn’t it simply wait one week? 

Why did you have to be born in a world full of violence, full of death?

You don’t understand why the chains of fate chose to punish you of all people. You just wanted to be with the love of your life. That’s all you ever wanted.

Now, he’s gone. You’ll never see him, touch him, hear his voice. Whenever you think of how he possibly died, more and more tears come. The person you loved the most in the world, the kindest man you’ve ever met - lonely, cold, hungry and hurt in a filthy trench.

The last reminiscent of his existence is the letter laying beside you - the letter you weren’t brave enough to read.

You remembered the soldier that came to bring you the flag: he was the same man from two years ago that helped you to get up. With an amputated leg, he was too injured to keep fighting and was sent back home. But he insisted on coming himself to your village.

“My name is Jimin,” he explained quietly. He looked sad, his eyes were devoid of any bright feeling. “I fought alongside Jungkook in the same troop. He saved my life. He… He was a good man.” Jimin reached for something in the pocket of his shirt: a letter. “He asked me that if he didn’t make it, I should give you this.” The young soldier had to fight back his own tears. “He… he really loved you, ma’am. I hope this can give you some comfort.”

You stare at the dirty folded paper. 

Nothing in this world will ever comfort you.

Yet, with trembling fingers, you unfold the paper and start to read it.

Tears immediately begin falling.

It’s undeniably his calligraphy; by the way some letters are retorted, you can see that he wrote it hurriedly. The paper somehow smells like mud and his fingerprints are all over it.

Once again, you start crying.

This pain will never go away.

Dear Y/N,

I apologize that we couldn’t have the party we always dreamed of. In the moments the pain becomes too great, I like to imagine you wearing your wedding dress. I regret not stealing a glance at it. I should have ignored the tradition that says that seeing the bride wearing the wedding dress before the wedding day brings bad luck.

I don’t want you to suffer imagining what I went through or the things I saw. I beg you to remember us in our best moments, for this is the way I will always remember you. Your smile, your eyes, your hair; no one can ever take these memories away from me, and for this I am grateful.

I wish we could have stayed together. I apologize that I couldn’t keep my promise of being with you until my last days. I truly apologize, Y/N. I hope that your father won’t be mad at me. But I’m a man of my word; and, if there is the slightest chance of us being together again, if by chance there is a next life, I swear I will search for you and keep my promise. Not even this war, heaven or hell, not even death will make us part. 

We will be together. I swear.

Please know that I left this world in peace - because the last thing I saw when I closed my eyes was you.

Forever yours,

Jungkook

× 2017 ×

“Shit!” you exclaim when you check your phone and see the hour.

Oh, no. You can’t be late for Mr. Hwang’s class again. The man apparently already hates you for existing, you can’t give him even more chances to hate you. 

You’re not the most punctual person, and you don’t even have a proper excuse this time. You just sat at the mall’s food court to eat your Big Mac peacefully and boom - one hour has passed. It’s not really your fault that Percy Jackson and The Last Olympian is such a good book. You hesitated for a long time to start reading this series, but now that you gave it a chance, you can’t stop reading - especially not now that Percy is about to drown in the Styx River. 

Can this be considered a good excuse? Maybe Mr. Hwang is a Percy Jackson fan. Who knows.

Your roommate likes to call you The Goddess of Procrastination. You can’t even be mad at her. She’s right.

You sigh and throw the book inside of your bag. If you run fast enough, you’ll manage to make it into the class just ten minutes late. Still better than the last time that you arrived five minutes before the class ended. No one has ever looked at you with so much hatred in this life other than Mr. Hwang in that moment.

But, as you’re about to get up and leave, you hear a phone buzzing.

And it isn’t yours.

You frown, noticing for the first time that a phone lays on the empty chair in front of you. Checking the screen, you see that there’s an incoming call. The name Jimin is written on the screen.

You think of simply ignoring it. It’s none of your business. But something - curiosity, maybe - makes you take the phone and answer the call.

“Hello?” you say, hesitant.

“Oh, thanks Goodness,” a male voice sighs in relief from the other side of the line. For some reason, you feel goosebumps. “Hm, hi. I think you found my phone.”

“Yeah, I think so.” 

“Where did you find it?”

“Hm… at the food court. Here in the mall near the subway station.”

You hear another male voice through the line saying “I told you that you forgot it there, idiot.”

“Shut up, Jimin.” the man scolds and coughs. “I’m sorry. Look, I’m not very far from the mall right now. Could you please wait a little bit so I can pick up my phone with you?”

You bite your bottom lip nervously. You’re way too late for Mr. Hwang’s class. You can’t waste any more time.

Yet… almost as if an invisible force makes you stand in place, you nod (even though he can’t see it). “Alright. But please, be fast.”

“Okay! I’ll be fast! Please, stay exactly where you are. I’ll be there in five minutes!”

He hangs up the phone.

You sit on the chair again, hopeless, and place his phone over the table, so he can see it clearly when he comes. Your leg shakes impatiently as you look around, trying to figure out who the owner is.

You stare at your bag.

One or two more pages won’t hurt.

You take the book again and open where you stopped. This is a tense moment of the story. I mean, you know that Percy won’t die. That’s the beginning of the book after all. But still, the tension is so great that you feel yourself at the edge of your seat. It’s also kind of embarrassing that you don’t know what’s about to happen since this book was released almost ten years ago. Your roommate likes to annoy you, saying that you like to read books for children, but if she had any idea of how good-

“Hm, excuse me.”

You lift your gaze from the book.

There’s a young man standing beside you. He has pitch black hair, fair skin, and honestly the biggest eyes you’ve ever seen. He wears a grey oversized hoodie, black pants and sneakers.

And, for a moment, the world around you seems to stop.

You don’t know exactly why you feel that you can’t breath.

You stare at each other for an embarrassingly long moment before you come back to your senses. You cough and stand up in a jump.

“I-I guess you’re the owner?” you say in an awkward manner. The man blinks and nods; he also seems a bit out of place.

“Y-Yeah!” he smiles. Your heart jumps. He takes the phone. “Thank you so much for waiting. I was going desperate already.”

“It’s alright.” you shrug. “I lose things all the time, too.” 

“I hope I didn’t make you late for anything.”

“No! You didn’t.” He did. “It's totally fine.”

You stand in front of each other awkwardly.

There’s something… strange about this man. You can’t tell what. Maybe it’s the fact that he’s extremely good-looking. But for some reason, your heart is beating fast, your stomach is doing flips and you can't look away from him.

"Alright." He coughs. "I'll… I'll get going. Thank you again."

"You're welcome."

You wave at each other and walk away in opposite directions.

You have to exhale heavily. What the hell was that?! Your heart won't stop beating fast. The whole situation was so strange. He also looked somehow-

"Hey! Wait!"

You feel a hand touching your shoulder. You turn around.

It's him again.

He has a small smile on his lips. He analyzes your face with a frown in a puzzled expression.

"Don't we know each other already?" He asks. "I… I have the feeling that we have met somewhere."

You're ready to say no, but as you analyze his features back, you feel a shiver.

You're sure you've never met him in your life.

Yet, at the same time… he looks familiar. Like the memory of a dream. A dream with horses running freely in an open field. A dream with a choir of nuns singing praises in a great church. A dream with stars, with whispered confessions, the sounds of a storm. A river flowing quietly. The smell of soap. The taste of salty tears, a letter marked with mud. Swords and crowns. A white wedding dress.

You feel dizzy.

"I… I don't know." Your mind is confused. "I don't remember very well."

He nods. His smile becomes timid.

"Maybe we could get to know each other?" He offers. "As a way of thanking you for taking care of my phone. We could get some coffee, maybe? Or soda. Or a beer. Or whatever you like."

You remember that there is still a class to attend.

But Mr. Hwang can wait.

"Coffee sounds nice," you say, smiling back at him.

His own smile widens. It's adorable how his eyes are also smiling. "Great! So… what's your name?"

"It's Y/N."

He repeats your name quietly, almost as if tasting it in his tongue. "Nice to meet you, Y/N. My name is Jungkook."

× 2020 ×

Jungkook falls silent when he finally understands what you're saying.

It's painful to see his frown deepening, the confusion disappearing and being replaced by subtle sadness.

You weren't ready for this.

But it has to be done.

"So… you're leaving." He repeats quietly. You nod.

"Yes." It's a shame that you can't even look at his eyes. "You know how this job offer is important to me. I… I couldn’t say no.”

He opens a small smile. This is what hurts the most. “I know. I’m proud of you, Y/N. I know how much you fought for this job.” His smile fades away as he reaches for your hand. “But… I can’t say that being away from you makes me happy.”

“I’m not happy about this either,” you admit. You want Jungkook to understand how much this is being difficult. How much it’s being painful. 

“So… how long will you be away?” 

You inhale heavily. 

“I don’t know.”

Jungkook seems frozen in place. 

“You… don’t know?” he repeats quietly. Almost as if he can’t believe what he’s hearing.

The pain becomes stronger.

“The plans are for me to stay indefinitely.”

This is when Jungkook finally realizes why you look so sad. 

He leans on the chair and passes his hand on his hair. You see the color draining from his face. Oh no. As stupid as it seems, you don’t want him to suffer… but you knew he would suffer anyway. 

“Are you telling me that you’re leaving the country indefinitely?” That look in his eyes… “But Y/N… what about us?”

“We can travel and see each other.”

“None of us have the money to keep traveling around like this.” Jungkook points the obvious. Sure, you expect to have a better salary with this job, but things won’t be easy during the first months. 

“We can make it. We’ll figure out what to do.” your own words sound empty, barely a desperate attempt to avoid the obvious.

“How, Y/N? You’re going to the other side of the world and you might never come back.”

You blink rapidly to try to dissipate the tears. “B-But… I don’t want to leave you.”

“You are leaving me.” This sentence felt like a dagger being buried in your heart. Jungkook exhales heavily, trying to calm himself down. He gulps and closes his eyes for a moment.

When he opens them again, he smiles in a reassuring way. Even though he’s hurt, he still tries to console you. This is what breaks you the most. You never understood why he has this habit. You’re so used to it already…

Jungkook reaches for your hand again. “Y/N, I want you to know that I’m truly happy for you. I know how this job is important. You’re going after your dreams. And I… I don’t want to stand in your way.”

“No! You’re not in my way.” You grab his other hand, feeling your heart clench at every minute.

“But I don’t want to trap you here if that’s not what you want for your life.” 

“Jungkook!” You call out. This is not how you want things to end - not that you want it to end at all. “We’ve been together for three years. I am with you because I want to. You’re not trapping me.”

He blinks rapidly again. You notice that he’s trying to fight back the tears, just like you. “But I don’t think this relationship will work like this.”

You can’t say anything. 

He’s right. You know it. You chose to accept the job offer and leave the country. You knew that neither of you would be able to stay away from each other like this.

“What do you mean…?” you whisper, asking the obvious.

“I mean that we should end now.” You want to say no. But again - you know he’s right. You also don’t want to trap him in a relationship when you’ll be away for most of the time. 

You can’t hold back the tears anymore.

“I’m sorry.” you whisper weakly.

“Don’t apologize. We all make our choices, don’t we?” He’s still smiling, but you see no hint of happiness in his eyes. He looks down and presses his lips tightly. “Maybe… maybe in our next life, we’ll be together.”

You don’t know why he said that so suddenly. 

But, for some reason, it hits you deep. So deep that you’re left speechless.

Jungkook gets up. “I really wish you’ll be happy, Y/N.”

For a moment, it seems that he wants to say something more. But he doesn’t. Instead, he turns around and walks away.

He’s glad that you can’t see his tears.

He’s also glad that he didn’t have enough time to show you the ring he bought yesterday.

Although the airport is busy, you feel lonely and cold on the inside.

You’ve been staring at nothing for a long time now, sitting alone in the corner. You said your goodbyes to your friends and family; all of them wished you luck and said you made the best decision of your life. Building a good career and being financially successful is all that matters in this world, after all.

But you can’t feel happy.

You tried to convince yourself that changes are difficult. Moving to a different country with a different culture and habits is never an easy task. It will take some time to adapt your mindset to it. You also can't ignore the fact that you’re leaving everyone you know behind; you’ll have to make new friends. All of this is hard. It’s normal to feel a little bit sad.

The thing is - you’re not feeling just a little bit sad.

You actually feel that there’s a deep hole inside your chest.

The image of Jungkook’s sad smile does not left your mind all these days. He looked so devastated, so disappointed… yet still tried to encourage you. He thought that he was being a burden in your life; this is what hurts you the most. Jungkook was never a burden. Ever since you met him that day at the mall, it seems that your life has brighter colors and happiest days. Jungkook understands you like no other person ever did. You two have such a deep connection that you can tell what each other are feeling or thinking even if you don’t say anything. It feels that you’ve known him your entire life, even though you met him only three years ago.

There are times when you have strange dreams with him. They are blurry and hard to remember when you wake up, but sometimes, you see him and yourself in situations you’ve never lived before. It gets even stranger when you remember that you and him were wearing old clothing from centuries ago.

When you told your roommate about your dreams - they started barely a week after you first met him - she laughed at said jokingly:

“Maybe you guys met in a past life.”

You know she wasn’t serious. You’ve never been one to believe in things like reincarnation, and you also didn’t think much of it. But the idea of meeting him in the past - the single fact that you may have existed before - was… unsettling.

Especially because you also had many nightmares with him.

Nightmares in which he was taken away from you, and you could do nothing but cry.

Whenever you had one of those nightmares, although you couldn’t remember them clearly, the bad feeling lingered with you during the whole day. This feeling only vanished when you saw him in front of you. He is here. We are together.

Not anymore.

This is being hard to deal with.

You always dreamed with this job. Actually, living abroad was one of the main objectives in your life. This job opportunity is everything you ever wanted. You shouldn’t be feeling sad like this, not now that you achieved your biggest dream.

Soon, when you settle down and start experiencing the life you always wanted, the sadness will fade away. You had a beautiful however short story with Jungkook. You’ll only carry good memories of him. Having a good and healthy relationship to remember is more than most people have, right?

There’s no reason to feel so bad.

You lift your head when you hear the speakers calling all the passengers for your flight. You get up, straighten your clothes and take the tickets. 

The time has come.

You walk to the boarding area, pushing your suitcases with you. This is the beginning of your new life. The new you. 

Each step feels heavy.

Your breathing and your heartbeat echoes on your ears. You can’t really focus in anything around. 

You’re leaving Jungkook.

But Jungkook himself said that you should do what you wanted. He supported your decision. 

You’re leaving Jungkook.

You dream of this career ever since you were a teenager. That’s why you worked so hard up to this day. This is your reward. Many people your age would kill to have this opportunity.

But you’re leaving Jungkook.

You can’t go back now. You have signed your contract. They are waiting for you at-

I will never give up on him.

You stop on your tracks.

I will never rest until we can finally be together.

Time seems to have slowed down.

Why… why did you hear this voice in your head? 

It sounded distant… like one of those blurry dreams. 

You shake your head and start walking again, but slower this time. Your palms are sweaty for some reason. 

It feels as if an invisible force is pulling you back. Something deep within you - something you can’t remember and can’t comprehend - echoes like an alarm. Something you should be aware of, but you can’t figure out what it is, it doesn’t matter how much you try.

A strong feeling of grief. An emptiness. Almost like crying for endless days and nights until you had no tears left to cry. A sadness so deeply rooted that no one would be able to rip out.

A feeling you are familiar with.

Meeting Jungkook was a miracle. Of all the people in this immense world, you came across the one that matches you the most. Many people live their entire lives without meeting someone like this.

And you’re leaving him.

A thought that doesn’t make much sense whispers in your head… nobody, no circumstance, nothing is forbidding your love. Nothing can separate you. For the first time, the Universe isn’t being cruel to you.

The only thing pulling you apart from each other is… yourself.

It’s your choice.

“Ma’am?” you hear a male voice saying. Your sight focuses, and you see the airport security guard looking at you awkwardly, waiting for you to show him your ticket and passport. “Is everything okay?”

The bridge that leads to the plane is right in front of you.

The bridge to your new life.

Not even this war, heaven or hell, not even death will make us part. 

We will be together. I swear.

“I can’t.” you whisper. The security guard frowns.

“Excuse me?”

“I-I can’t.” Adrenaline starts to boil your blood. “I need to leave. I need to go back.”

The other passengers look at you with confusion as you walk away from the line. Then you’re running. The suitcases shake with your violent and ungainly run, but you couldn’t care less. You need to leave this airport. You need to meet him. The taxi driver looks scared when you yell, asking for his help to shove the carriers inside of his car. Still, you don’t care about how crazy you look or how people are looking at you.

All you can think of is Jungkook’s galaxy eyes looking at you as if you meant the world to him. 

He is your world.

You can’t leave your world behind.

You’re sweating and your hands are shaking and you can’t control your breathing when you finally stop in front of his apartment and knock on the door unceremoniously.

Nervousness and adrenaline creeps on your skin; you’re aware that your hair is probably a mess. You don’t know how he will react. You didn’t think of calling him before coming; that’s just how crazy you are.

The door cracks open and you hold your breath.

Jungkook’s eyes widen when he sees you. He’s wearing sleeping clothing and he’s got bed hair, which should mean he was sleeping, but the bags underneath his eyes tells you the opposite. He looks bad - similar to when he would spend entire nights awake studying for finals, only worse.

It looks like he can’t breath, too.

“Y/N,” the way he says your name makes your heart jump. “W-What are you doing here? I thought you were leaving today…” he looks behind you and notices the suitcases, what makes him frown in confusion.

“Yes.” you nod. “I was supposed to leave today.”

“Supposed?” He is so confused. “Did something happen?”

“Yes.” You sigh deeply before speaking. Your blood feels boiling hot; your stomach twirls and jumps. “I went to the airport. I said goodbye to everyone. I was ready to leave.”

Jungkook just watches you in silence. You see when, slowly, his eyes start to light up again as you speak; they light up with… hope.

“B-But then, I stopped and thought that I would never see you again. And… and I don’t think I can take it.” I can’t take it once again, a voice whispers in your mind. “You said that you wish I’d be happy, but I can’t be happy if I’m not with you.”

The tears start trickling down your cheeks. This time, though, they’re tears of joy.

“I love you, Jungkook. And I’m not waiting for another lifetime to be with you.”

Jungkook engulfs you in a tight hug.

You hug him back just as tight; he kisses the top of your head multiple times and you hear him sniffling. Everything feels right and at place. Being with him is the right thing, regardless of what anyone can think.

From far, you have the slight impression that you hear something… the sound of steel chains breaking apart. Your wrists suddenly feel weightless. Almost as if an invisible force finally lets you go.

Free.

Jungkook leans away but still keeps you close; his eyes and nose are reddish and his face is wet with tears. He has the smile you’ve learned to love. You wipe his tears away. He looks gorgeous, as he always was.

“Hm… I bought you something.” He says sheepishly and puts his hand in his back pocket. “I don’t know if you will like it. I also don’t know if it’s the right time… we’re too young, but… that’s just how I feel about you.”

You have to cover your mouth with your hand when Jungkook takes a beautiful ring in his fingers.

“I-I don’t know if you want this too, but I want to give it to you anyway…”

“Of course I want it!”

Jungkook almost falls back when you throw yourself over him again, tightly embracing your arms around his neck. He laughs and lifts you up, and you lock your legs around his waist. 

He takes you inside the apartment. None of you remember about your suitcases outside.

“I am so happy,” Jungkook whispers between the kisses; you feel the happiness radiating from him like a bright light. You only know each other for three years, but it feels as if you’ve been waiting for this moment forever.

Nothing else matters in this moment. Right now, you belong to each other. 

You always did.

Nothing in the Universe can change this fact - not even the past, the present, and the future.

“I love you.” Jungkook says, looking deep inside your teary eyes.

“And I always will.”

[amariaamaris]

Of Realm Travel and Mishaps

I decided to actually write my idea, I hope that you enjoy!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker, general to the 501st is highly agitated and there is no hiding it. First he was brought into the Jedi order as a child (willingly), then he went through training with Obi-Wan, Senator Amidala had her life threatened, then the first battle of the Clone Wars, all the battles, deaths, and betrayals after that. The Jedi Order forcing him to take Padawan Tano on, which he grew to love and see as a little sister. He didn’t even want to think of the shit show with the father, daughter, and son. Followed by the order betraying the both of them and Snips - Ahsoka Tano - walking away. More battles, more fighting, more deaths... Anakin just wanted it to end, all the men he lost, his Padawan, the separation from his wife; who is now pregnant. Now this the counsel giving him a seat only to deny him the rank of master.

“This is outrageous, it’s unfair... how can you be on the council and not be a master?” Anakin wished that he would allow himself to say more, but he kept himself just barely censored. Even as his resentment anger boiled beneath the surface of his skin like magma. “Take a seat, young Skywalker.” He barely stops himself from violently lashing out at Mace Windu. Feeling as though his mouth is full of cotton and his tongue weighed down by lead. Knowing that more and more when he stands in front of the Council, all he feels is disgust.

Anakin using all of his willpower practically spits out his next words as he takes a seat. “Forgive me master.” Right as the council moves to start their next order of business... well lets just say that something strange happened. A rip seems to happen in the air of the atmosphere. Then for a split second the very air is sucked out of the room, straight to where the rip is. With an almost audible popping sound; a young woman with extremely wild curly hair is thrown out tumbling head over arse onto the floor. While the whole of the Jedi Council gapped in shock at what they just witnessed.

They all silently watched as the woman gives a soft groan and slowly heaves herself to her feet. “Oh, bloody hell.” They can barely make out her muttered words as she rubs her pounding head with one hand. Hermione slowly looks around the architecture of the room and furrows her brows. “This can’t be right...” She starts to fiddle with the golden time turner in her hands that seems to have some sort of wispy atmosphere in it. “My calculation had to have been off. I did all the research required, I know that this was meant to help me find...”

The woman starts muttering as she fiddles with the time turner. Everyone in the room is blinking at her, trying to figure out what to do with a woman that just got spit out of some sort of rip in space. Obi-Wan, finally finding his voice and ever the diplomat. “Excuse me miss, who are you?” Barely stopping in her muttering glances up at them, then looks back down at time turner. When the realization sinks in, Hermione freezes. Slowly she looks up and really takes the time to study the room.

Her eyes widen in shock as some sort of wispy light dances around her and seems to caress her. Then the realization seems to sink in and much to the councils embracement she lets loose a string of very colorful curses before finally seeming to settle one (that the council actually understood). “Fuck... This is bad!”

Yoda finally speaks up, since the rest of the council seems to be recovering from her colorful language. “Lost are you?” Hermione having gone back to fiddling with the time turner, doesn’t look up as she responds. “No no no... I am going to kill Harry, Ron, the twins, Draco, Zabini, Nott, and Sirius Black when I get my hands on them. I might just throw in Severus for the shits and giggles of it.” She stops fiddling with the time turner allowing it to land on her chest and hang from the chain. “I don’t have time for this. I need space, I need to think, I need more information. I’m just going to go.”

Then without further ado, she whirls around and walks right out of the door. Letting it close behind her, not caring for who they are and what they are thinking. Shaak Ti speaks up from her seat on the council, “Fascinating.” Mace Windu finally seeming to lose his temper lets out and aggravated breath. “Now wait a damn minute. We’re letting that random woman leave when she just appeared out of nowhere, with no explanation?”

Obi-Wan and Anakin look at each other, silently communicating in a way that only a master and padawan can. “We can gather a small group of our men to go and find her, to get some real answers from her.” Obi-Wan waits a few moments for any response to his offer, when finally there is a collective, but silent agreeance to his words.

As one, Anakin and Obi-Wan stand up and leave the room, but when the doors close behind them; there is no sign of the woman anywhere. Anakin gets on the coms getting a group of ten of his men to start look for the woman. Obi-Wan does the same and they split off. Both of them going different directions, hoping that they may be able to corner her. Anakin’s last thought before he focuses on the task at hand is how much he wishes that Ahsoka and Rex could be there to help (cracking jokes while working on whatever mission they were given).

----

Hermione, knew that she couldn’t just stay outside of the chambers she just left. She knew she had to figure out what went wrong or rather... what went horribly right. First, she had to get far far away, eventually those idiots were going to break out of the stupor. Hermione wanted to be as far away as she could when they did. Even though a big part of her was doubting that any of this worked, she could still feel the ley lines. She was still connected to them, as she watched waves of pure light dance around her. Hermione, once again gave herself over to them.

“Take me to him, if I am right and he is here. Please, please take me to him.” Hermione felt the leys react to her plea and before she knew it, she felt a soft pull and the feeling of moving very very fast. Hermione found herself standing outside of what looked to be a cell. Immediately she felt her stomach drop, “No...” the word barely had enough breath backing it to make a sound... but it was there.

Looking through the strange energy screen, she could see Sirius, curled up in the corner. His body in the tightest ball she thinks that she has ever seen. “Sirius,” No reaction, not even a twitch. Hermione bites her lips and studies the cell screen, looking for any sort of weak part. The moment she finds it Hermione starts to gather the lay lines to her. They come willingly to their mistresses call. Then without a moment of hesitation she slashed her arms toward the weak part. The whole gridding to the cell collapsed in, Hermione softy smiled and softly caressed the ley lines in silent thanks. Carefully they brushed against her cheeks and settled into their natural flows.

Sirius still gave not reaction to what was going on around him. Hermione sprinted forward and dropped to her knees. She studied Sirius as she checked him over for any wounds, carefully she reached out and softy touched him. “Sirius? Sirius... it’s me, it’s Hermione.” Still no reaction not even a twitch even though he was breathing, he was just staring at the wall.

Softly, oh so softly, Hermione slowly moved Sirius to that she could face his body towards her. She cupped his face in her hands and started to lightly tap his cheeks. “Sirius, come back to me. Come back to the land of the living, come on. Sirius, it’s Hermione...” Still nothing, Hermione sighs and bites her lips as she slowly looks around.

She hears Sirius make a small noise and then, she hears a rough raspy voice. “Kitten?” Hermione’s eyes widen and she whips her head to look at Sirius. “Sirius!” She watches as he quickly blinks then he reaches his shaking hands up and carefully touches Hermione’s face. “What are you doing here Kitten, you shouldn’t be here.”

Hermione gives Sirius an exhausted smile, “There’s a lot you need to be caught up on... I thought that it was obvious, I’m here to raise hell on the assholes who had the audacity to throw you in a cell. I’m also here to rescue you. So, care to help me with a little jail break padfoot?”

Sirius stares at Hermione blankly for a split second before his brain caught up. Hermione watches with satisfaction as a decidedly Black wicked grin spreads across his face. “Oh, kitten why didn’t you just start with that!” Hermione gives an excited grin back to Sirius and start to lead him out of the cell and down to the controls. “What did the leaders of this society do to you kitten?”

Hermione allows herself a few moments to let the tension grow before she speaks. “For one they tossed you into a jail cell for no reason and two... they are completely and utter idiots. Don’t try me padfoot! I can tell from your eyes that they just threw you in a call without a trial. You didn’t deserve that the first time and you sure as hell didn’t deserve it this time.” Sirius takes a moment to study Hermione, then gives a soft smile. “You’ve grown up a lot kitten... I especially love your newly found vindictive side.”

Hermione gives a wicked grin in response, “I hope you still remember how to turn into padfoot.” and pulls the level to let every... single... prisoner... out.

All hell proceed to break loose.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

I’m so excited! the little chat I did for this inspired me (don’t worry I haven’t forgotten about my other works), so I had to write something. I already have the second part halfway planned. Let me know what you think! As always, constructive criticism is welcome! Peace, love, and joy!

[ourflagmeansdeth]

haircut / bolin x reader, soulmate au

summary: Your trip to Republic City doesn't turn out as expected, and you and your roommates find yourselves in the middle of Kuvira's attack. Three short vignettes of backstory, all wrapped up with an impromptu haircut and a sweet introduction.

a/n: oh my lord :) this was so challenging and fun to write! the only ideas i seem to ever have are also the ones i don't know how to approach, so writing this was a doozy. i’ve never written any AUs but soulmate aus have always been a personal fave. i hope that yall enjoy this one as much as i do, its less bolin-centric and takes a bit of patience, but i think it's very sweet! thank you for all your support on my previous works as well, it means a whole lot to me <3 additionally, i now have 100+ followers on this blog! thank you so much, yall :) love u all, stay safe!

read on ao3

On your 18th birthday, you got your mark. You woke up eager, jumping out of bed and stripping your sleeping clothes off to see where it had appeared. At first, you panicked— it was nowhere to be seen, rubbing your hands along the backs of your legs and arms, hoping the friction would urge it to surface. After what had felt like hours of checking in every corner of your body in the mirror, you gave up and wrapped yourself in a blanket, walking out of your bedroom in search of your mother.

With tears in your eyes, you hugged your mom as she wished you a happy birthday, taking a deep breath and engulfing yourself in her calming scent. Upon seeing you crying, her face washed over with concern as she asked you if you’d found your mark yet. You talked through your doubts, suggesting that you might not even have a soulmate, and that no mark was ever supposed to appear, and that it just wasn’t meant to be.

“Y/n, don’t be foolish,” she reached for your hand and gave it a squeeze, “let’s check together.”

You pulled the blanket up and turned your ankles, checking on the soles of your feet, your toes. You huffed, pulling it up around your thighs and spinning unenthusiastically for her to check the backs of them. You dropped the blanket down, reaching up to slip it down off your arms.

You exposed your shoulders, your mother lifting your arms to check your armpits, in between your fingers, along your collarbone. She spun you around with her hands, checking the skin on your back. She pushed the hair on your neck forward and placed a finger on the nape of your neck, chuckling.

“Looks like we’re going to have to plan a trip to the earth kingdom sometime soon.”

.

You hadn’t left the Northern Water Tribe for your entire life until you turned 20. Living with a few childhood friends in a shared apartment, you all dreamed of one day traveling to Republic City and living it up for a couple days, Republic style. The spirits had just arrived in the City, and you all wanted to see them before the government did something to rid them, having heard great stories of large vines and friendly spirits speckled along the bustling streets.

You heard good reviews about Varrick Industries’ blimp flights from the Northern Water Tribe to Republic City, but the technology was just a bit too new (and therefore expensive), and a local fisherman offered to give you all a ride on his boat in exchange for a bit of work during the trip. You had known the fisherman to be a little unhinged, but you didn’t complain.

The four of you planned on staying at an inn not too far from the pro-bending arena, which was a huge deal, since all of you listened to pro-bending matches on the radio together religiously. Every Friday night was an event, where you helped your roommate, Tonauk, cook a large meal for everyone as a celebration of the week’s end. As all of you sat down for dinner, you would discuss your theories for the night’s matches, turning the radio on after you all had finished.

You all had to go out and buy new clothes since your wardrobes were too warm for the weather in the city, modifying a couple items of clothing you never wear, chopping off the sleeves on a lightweight tunic. You figured you could do a bit of shopping while on your vacation, but hey, things were probably cheaper here, anyway. You packed up your bags and wished to have a safe journey, and a nice, relaxing week in Republic City. It felt so strange leaving the one place you’ve been your entire life, but it felt like it was time, and you were ready.

.

To put it shortly, the trip to Republic City was an absolute disaster. The boat ride over was actually pretty bearable, though— the fisherman had the four of you working the sails most of the time, which was second nature to you, the child of a fisherman. Upon your arrival, you discovered that an angry spirit occupied the room you had reserved at the inn, forcing the four of you to opt for a cramped two-bed on the first floor. It wasn’t the best of circumstances, but you all were determined to see it through and still have a good time.

Where things really went south was when Kuvira arrived. It had been about three days into your vacation, and your roommate Niko insisted on taking a ferry trip to Air Temple Island. It was a gorgeous day and the sun felt so good on your skin, the breeze caressing your face as it flowed past you.

The four of you were absolutely clueless to what was happening in the city— the looks of concern on the Air Acolytes’ faces as you leisurely strolled through on your tour of the island, the crowds of people boarding boats in droves when you arrived back at the ferry. As you walked towards the dock, an Acolyte approached your group and told you to leave immediately, and that the city was being evacuated.

The ferry ride back to the port was probably the most stressed you’d ever been in your entire life. You and Tonauk were waterbenders, but Niko and Kala weren’t, and if they got caught up in some twisted Kuvira shit, you would never forgive yourself if you weren’t able to save them. How should we have known Kuvira was here? How were we supposed to know that “Oh, Kuvira’s coming, so let’s all silently up and leave”? It didn’t make sense, and now you were really in danger, and you felt the horrible weight of putting your friends in this situation. It was your idea to go to Republic City, but you hadn’t thought about the possibility of this happening.

That was when you had heard Niko curse something under his breath next to you, and you looked out across the water. Kuvira was here, alright— and she brought a giant mecha suit that was aiming its arm in front of itself. You covered your ears as the blast that erupted from it echoed across the water. Holy shit.

.

You were absolutely sure that you were going to die. Since the buses and trams across the city had closed down, the four of you were on foot, making your way to the train station. You all crouched and sheltered yourselves as you heard another blast close by. When the coast was clear, you all turned a corner, happening upon a stressed, scrambled group of airbenders. You hurried to offer a hand to them as they picked themselves off the ground.  It took a while to realize what was all happening in front of you. You saw that you were about 200 feet from the giant mecha suit, which you had assumed caused the airbenders to crash. Holy shit, is that the avatar?

“Excuse me? You’re not supposed to be here.” A stern voice chided from behind you.

“Yeah, what’re some civilians doing around here anyway?” You turned to look at who was speaking: two men, both eyeing your group up as you helped an airbender to their feet.

“We were making our way to the train station. We didn’t know there was an evacuation.” Tonauk defended, stepping forward.

“You didn’t know?” The green eyed one looked at Tonauk in disbelief. “We’ve been evacuating for days— There was a city-wide radio broadcast… that played aloud to the entire city.”

You recalled that you were on a day trip out to a park outside the city yesterday and probably completely missed the broadcast. “Ugh!” you exclaimed, “That’s why our ferry tickets were so cheap.”

“People will really do anything for money nowadays, huh?” Niko muttered.

“You guys went on a ferry?” the taller of the two questioned, disappointment spread across his face.

“Oh, my god,” the green-eyed one chuckled. “They went to Air Temple Island and didn’t know there was a city-wide evacuation? Like, we’re straight up under attack right now.” He gestured to the mecha suit, which had just blasted a building a block away. Kala scoffed.

“Guys?” Oh my god, it really was the Avatar! “We’d love to get to know you, but we uh, have something that we really have to deal with right now,” she forced a smile, gesturing for the two boys to join her. They turned and ran to the rest of their group, circling up to strategize.

Before you could mutter something about how some people in this city are just so impolite, the building next to you started crumbling. Tonauk attempted to shelter the four of you by drawing water up from the sewer cap nearest you, but there wasn’t enough to provide good cover. That was when you were knocked out momentarily by a few bricks that had fallen, coming to seconds later and realizing that you were stuck underneath a pile of rubble. Your hair, grown long for many years despite your mother’s wishes, was now trapped underneath some kind of machinery that had fallen from the building. Your face was stuck against the rubble beneath you. Your arms were free enough to pull the rest of your body from the bricks that held it down, but your head would not budge, your cheek pressed against some kind of electrical unit.

“Hold still!” the green-eyed boy’s voice echoed in your ears as he attempted at moving the weight on top of your hair. “Dammit, I can’t move it! Why do they make these things out of platinum?” he groaned.

“Just cut it off!” you managed to squeak out.

“If you say so,” he began, reaching in his pocket to pull out a foldable knife. You craned your neck to pull your hair taut. With one short swoosh, your head was free, but the man above you didn’t move. “I, uh…” he trailed off.

“What is it?” you picked yourself up, scanning the scene around you, relieved to see that your friends had survived.

A blush spread across his face as he reached an arm up to rest behind his head. Or, was he...? You reached up to press the earth emblem on the back of your neck, now exposed from your new haircut. “Oh my god, turn around.” you ordered him, as he turned, folding his popped collar down. You gasped to yourself as you saw that the water emblem was printed across the nape of his neck. “I, uh…” you echoed him.

“Really need to… get going?” he finished for you, “But I’m really confused, so like, if we both make it out of this alive, my friend Varrick is having a wedding, and you should come.” he turned around and his eyes sparkled, reaching out his hand to give yours a shake. “I’m Bolin. And you are?”

“Y/n,” you exhaled, giving his hand a squeeze. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“You as well,” he glanced over at his group. “Okay, gotta go. Not sure where the wedding is, but come to Air Temple Island if all else fails. See you then!” Bolin gave you a reassuring smile before running off.

You looked behind you, at your friends, who were now staring at you dumbfounded. “Nice haircut.” Kala gave you a thumbs up as you walked back towards them. Bolin and the others ran off down the street, towards the mecha suit.

“So… he’s like, your…?” Niko suggested.

“I… don’t know,” you stuttered, straightening out your tunic. “but I do know that we have a wedding to go to, so let’s get the hell out of here.”