#i hope yall like this because i sure do
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🌙I wanna do what lovers do with you🌙
🌼I wanna walk the edge of the Earth with you 🌼
🌻I wanna say to you the minute we feel the heat🌻
☀️Would you be, my lover?☀️
M'lover - Kishi Bashi
#more trans obiwan for you#also i didnt wanna tag you because it feels rude but oathkeeperoxas if you see this its for u because you always say such nice stuff#in the tags and it makes me wanna draw more so thank u sm for that bcs ive been super art blocked recently <3333333#star wars#obi wan kenobi#trans obi wan#as always today is a good day to remember obi wan is trans#also is he wearing a skirt? perhaps :)#her deserves it#but also i just couldnt be bothered to make trousers work#i hope yall like this because i sure do#please reblog him#pretty please#star wars art#star the clone wars wars#star wars the clone wars#the clone wars art#tcw#star wars tcw#fanart#my art <3#my art#<3
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Have some Ted doodles- as a treat.
#was counting up all the times I’ve drawn my little guys and Ted is now at around 71#highest of the hatchetfield characters for sure#he’s just fun to draw#I get it Tinky#I understand your obsession#did these while listening to exam review#rip long hair Ted#never gonna stop thinking of you#yall ive got so many WIPs it’s crazy#after exams are over I’m not going to stop drawing#anyways how’re you#hope you’re doing well#all good things i hope#I don’t feel like going and grabbing my fact book so today you get one off the top of my head#fun fact: contrary to popular belief- tomatoes are not fruits; they are a category of vegetable called fruit vegetable#there is a heart scene in Stardew Valley with Demetrius and Robin in which Demetrius asks you if a tomato is a fruit or vegetable and#if you say vegetable he gets all huffy#this frustrates me because he says ‘oh you are a farmer you should know’ and DUDE I DO KNOW#ITS YOU WHO DOESNT KNOW#Anyways yeah#this has been the fun fact corner ft. me ranting about tomatoes#ted spankoffski#tinky npmd#tinky#tnoy karaxis#theodore spankoffski#tgwdlm#hatchetfield#Starkid#Joey richter
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I have a confession. I do not care for the soc boys. I'm sure they have very interesting character traits and lore the actors and fandom have come up with and that is so fun and great and I know none of it and I am perfectly content with that. Shout out to all my mutuals who love the soc boys I hope you are having fun with your Ken dolls but I will not be joining you. keep slaying.
#not saying i hate them i just cant get my brain to like them the same way i do all the greasers and the soc girls#excluding bev for some reason melody ily bev ily but i dont latch onto her the same way i do cherry and marcia 😔😔😔😔#shout out to all my soc boy mutuals i hope you are having so much fun#the closest i will ever get to caring for the soc boys is randy#man was an asshole tried to kill a kid saw his best friend die went fuck all of this dumped his girlfriend left town and became a hippie#shit start great ending good job randy ���#this is also why i havent gotten into parry#i love the gays i promise but i did not latch onto paul the way the rest of the fandom did 😔😔#i totally get it i see where yallre coming from i understand#its my ship-in-law ill support parry truthers 4ever#but im a dar-bit truther for life#yes i am also a mar-bit truther#and an aroace darry truther#i win no matter what#but anyways#i am not part of the community i am an ally ✊️✊️✊️#its also fun cuz since i know jack shit i never get annoyed at mischaracterization because i dont know what the correct characterization is#i can see anything about them and go 'yeah sure'#and it could be so out of character#and ill never know#i stay winning#anyways love yall 🫶#although i do think a reason i havent latched onto bev is because i never see anyone talking about her#if you love bev please tell me about her i want to know everything#the outsiders#the outsiders musical#two-bit talks
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Here's the bunny boy 🐇
Wasn't gonna make him a new ref at all until this idea came to mind, literally in a dream. I usually joke about it but it actually happened this time lmao
anyways, design is the same as it used to be, he's just bunny-ified now and I honestly wouldn't have it any other way 👍
#legend of zelda#loz au#character design#Legend (Kheprriverse)#kheprriverse#kheprriart#I'll probs fix some minor mistakes another time coz some things are bugging me. this was a very impulsive decision#hope yall like the bunny boy because i sure do#<- in context: I love bunnies/rabbits/hares so bunny legend is right up my ally all the time
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Alrighty Linked maze fans I hope you're ready, part 1 of 3 for catch-up analysis!
So our good friend Frulleboi has been absolutely cooking with these update's with three in quick succession and I am loving it cause I love it and is great.
This is for the beginning of the Soul Stone chapter. Soul stone part 1.
Now a link to the comic page can be found Here. Please go give it some love :D
For the important stuff!
Linked Maze belongs to @linked-maze and its wonderful creator @frulleboi. (You should follow them, they are wonderful) And as a heads up, Linked maze is for more mature audiences! :)
As usual, you know the drill, Grab some water, Grab some popcorn and prepare for me to ramble at you for however long it is!
Here we go!
Half an hour? So all the areas around with the environment that I spotted before won't help me for the moment?
Ohhhhhh boy
(I've got my eye on this)
Four... Four please.
Like wolfy has a good reason he is preoccupied but like you can just turn around for like 1 moment.
Wolfy really is the real mvp of this little team, he out here doing work! We love him.
Guarantee that the team will fall apart without the wolf who goes 90% of the work and has 90% of the team's brain cells.
"It was at this moment, he discovered..."
This panel made me laugh because of Four's shadow.
The disappointed look on his face, I think the shadow is literally me inside of this universe sometimes. He Craves chaos but also is just like 'Four what are you doing?' at every available opportunity.
Nooooooooo, Whatever do you mean four? God I love him.
And wolfy here is just like, 'My man can't you see I am busy I can't do everything.'
(Me taking notes of this tree on the left here. 3 branches, thin band and a thick area... thinking it's going to be a major landmark)
Then all of a sudden.
Hold up, I recognise this.(I think)
[TANGENT TIME]
I'm probably looking WAY TO far into this as we dont know how this maze works but)
This area here.
A thin band/wall with a larger area and moss on the wall looks KINDA Like the area where Sky meets Wild from back in Waking up PT5.
I know there's some differences between the grass and the tree, but the tree could be off-frame.
I'm not saying that Four (His looks like a newer version of the one we see here) is now in the same area as these guys, but I'm thinking he might be getting close to that region of the world map.
This could also be a clue as to how the maze works. Each region could look near on identical in layout while feeling so much different because of the changes in the environment. (New vs old walls, Tree's VS rock etc)
I feel like I need to get a pen and paper to explain this better, let me know if I do and I will do that.
While it might not be the exact same location, I think there might be more hints as to these guys being the ones we get the group up with next.
Moving on.
Oh man, again with Shadow this man just looks so disappointed with four i love him.
He's like, Are you for real?
There are so many thoughts going through his head. But I think these two do the work for me.
"My friend! Is he okay!" And thennnnn "Oh god im alone with Four"
Wolfy's facial expressions are top-tier in these updates and I love him sm okay.
Short and sweet. But it works either way!
Thanks for hanging out with me on this one, Hope to see you again soon when we hit the next one! :D
Have a great day!
#linked maze#linkedmaze#linked maze analysis#zelda au#links meet au#loz au#lm twilight#lm four#lm wolfy#comic analysis with major#ramble corner with major#suitable name for these#i love this comic its great#ahh yes the tangent#is it because i want to see Sky again (Maybe)#but can you see where I'm coming from? I hope so sometime's I'm not sure if i get my point across like i want to do#if yall want maps as to what i mean on my tangent ask me and ill do that
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i know it’s already a great day when i wake up and make my bed. because then that means i get to go to sleep in a made bed, and it reminds me of the simple successes in my life and it’s quite nice :)
(this is also a quiet message to love and take care of yourself, you need it. and trust me, you fully deserve it 🤍)
#i’m notorious for NOT making my bed#i never do#so i hope that every day that i actually do is a good day because that’s like a little motivator for me (?)#LOVE YOURSELVES RAAHHHHHH!!!!#YALL ARE ALL SO BEAUTIFUL#AND SO KIND#AND DESERVE THE WHOLE WORLD#LOVE YALL!!!!!!!!!!!!! /p#should i tag hopecore#sure why not#hopecore#rambling on and on
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idk since i made that post earlier i've just been thinking about all the ways adults were weird and shitty to me because i was gender-nonconforming as a kid. because i MIGHT grow up to be a lesbian or, worse, transgender. and how much it sucked to figure out my identity under those conditions -- where every adult i'd ever met had already figured out What I Was and hated me for it, and i had no idea. idk it's just sad. i'm sorry baby izzy went through that.
#like. i identified as a 'tomboy' until i was. fuckin. 14.#i had no clue i was gay or trans. i just knew people didn't like me because i wasn't Being A Girl The Right Way.#so when i started to realize i was actually gay and trans. it was doubly humiliating.#like. hey! yall were right! you got me! are you happy now! do you want a medal!#i mean. other kids were also weird and shitty to me for being gnc. but they didn't know any better.#there were so many full-grown adults though. who hated my fucking guts for it. especially friends' parents oh my god.#i had. MULTIPLE friends in elementary school whose parents deliberately sabotaged our friendship because they thought i was a bad influence#and i can promise you it wasn't because of anything i actually did wrong. i was a stellar student and extremely polite and well-behaved.#idk just sucks! just. sad.#i hope it's a little better for gnc kids now.#i'm sure it depends a lot on environment and specific families and their belief systems but. yeah. sighs.#izzy.txt
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yknow something i didnt realize while with them was how little i wanted to vent or open up because they made me feel guilty about it or made it about themself every time i did (even if they didnt mean to, they still did)
and how much im more willing to randomly vent to my friends now and admit im not doing okay or hell, *even tell my boyfriend when i have issues in the relationship*
hindsight is 20/20 for sure, but it's crazy how much has changed in the timespan of a little over half a year just because one person left my life permanently.
it should not have been normalized for me to be scared of telling my partner things.
#like im also more open about liking neopronouns and such#or media that my friends might not also like#or CHARACTERS or HEADCANONS they might not also like#hell ive given some characters headcanons i had before but didnt feel safe expressing because they would get angry if i deviated from their#so anyways gay lloyd from ninjago <3#lesbian barb from trolls <3#and bicurious daniel from little hope <3#im sure theres more i cant think of rn lol#i can also fully admit i like ships like climbing class now lollll#idk im rambling :P but its amazing that i can be open with my friends and boyfriend now about the things i like#and they actually wanna listen to me talk about it and dont give me one word responses or shut down the convo?#wow????#do yall understand how amazing it was to have 💙 start getting into my interests just because i went “i really like this thing”#without having to be bribed or begged to#like. wtf!!!#ive never had that before!!!#or the fact he's actively working with me towards a future where we can live together and we're working out the details?#instead of just letting shit sit around for months without looking at it?#and im not the only one saving up towards living together???#and i dont have to feel guilty about the way i feel towards things! like my polyamory!#wraow.... i love my friends and boyfriend actually#🦝#🌱 vents#vent#hey 🦝 i think you abandoning me was the best thing you ever did for me xoxo
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i genuinely don’t know how i’m supposed to act at my age
#like when i have to talk to ppl my age irl they sound old af 😭 and im like are they old or just actual adults?#like i know when to act mature but when in the same age group i feel like i should have my adult voice on#like a customer service voice but more casual???#like for this get together i’m fear i might be one of the youngest ppl there besides like the children of everyone else 💀 like i can go#can’t***#hangout w them and later ima go see my friends and it’s more relaxed but it’s not like we talk about random shit#like we don’t listen to the same music watch the same shows or movies anymore#or they say oh i don’t have time for that or i don’t watch/listen to that many more#????? what do you do? and they’re not on social media besides fb or twt#like unfortunately i’m part of the chronically online 💀💀💀 but i can’t just be like oh im knitting this or crocheting that because that’s my#old lady hobbie i picked up in hs and they were like that’s old ppl shit#they talk about work but i find that so boring idc about what i do everyday that shit stays the same 😭#like it’s interesting to listen to them because i don’t do it but my job it’s same day in day out#and if we talk about fitness it ends up at oh i gained some weight or i lost x amount that means i can have a xyz and not care ….#we are mid to late twenties when tf did you get heartburn 😭 and wtf is that ??? i’ve heard about it but what do you mean??? when did that#start??? like yeah old bones and body aches but damn another meme post about it 😭 stop#like what did i miss when did i stop looking where did yall learn all this#at this point i think im just immature#like my random shit is gonna be ceo/luigi and sk then what i can’t bring up rap kpop spotify wrapped anime my excitement for some local yarn#how i don’t think lady gaga is a good actress or that im lowkey upset about the wicked movie#or that there’s gonna be an american psycho remake like they’re not gonna care#and i can’t be like tf is an appetizer ? that isn’t just restaurant and tv show shit ?#I CANT TELL THEM ABIUT MY PERIOD SHOES I FEEL LIKE THEYRE TONNABNOT LAUGH#my talking points are work (boring and same as always) old car accidents most recently accident (but not too deep) shoulder and back pain#progress maybe complain about grocery prices 😭😭😭#omfg wtf am i supposed to where to the get together with appetizers FUCK#is it chill to go in shorts and a tshirt ????? i’m sure they know we’re the ones smoking outside they can just assume i’m too chill#let’s hope someone has a baby and i can distract them w my ability to somehow charm babies 😭😭😭😭#omg what if their kids are blaming us for the weed smell !?? like imma not narc but i’ve seen them out there too#like idk if they’re college age but i don’t think they’re open about it and im the freak taking walks past midnight 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
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.
#this is veeery petty of me but i hate seeing the evn bckley loves tmmy kinrd and vice versa tags#like yeah i sure hope so? as im looking for a bcktmmy fic?#any tag that is USELESS is smth i hate upon sight like god please stop overcrowding your tags i know many people like me just scroll past#them because it is so unnecessary to the point of being inaccessible#like idk do yall really need to tag “gay tmmy knrd” isnt that kinda assumed already#i understand bi bck a notch more bc he being bi wasnt his canon sexuality till this year but otherwise it's just unnecessary#dont even get me started on other couples being tagged for a background cameo appearance#if it's not say les4les athena and hen which is smth people would look for or avoid#i dont wanna see your bddie/bcktmmy fics in the h3nren tag#okay rant over
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"the distance between sitting in the hands of the anemo archon statue in mondstadt and standing on the head of the statue of the omnipresent god in inazuma is exactly 6666m" how the fuck did you guys figure that out
#personal stuff#delete later#was looking into smth regarding the omnipresent god statue. weird she looks a bit like egeria huh#could just be a consequence of similar haircut and bangs + all divine beings in this game wear hoods as symbols of their divinity#but considering she was created directly by the shade of life. i imagine there might be a bit of resemblance there#which might be a hint towards the statue's identity?#like i know we all think it's istaroth but i'm pretty sure that's because she's literally the only divine god we know the name of#and bc she's wearing an eye of the storm AND the exact distance from venti's statue#considering they were. if not besties then they were at least both worshiped in mondstadt for a while#but yall thought nicole was istaroth too like come on#like it might make sense if ei's og plan was to collect visions and use the statue to stop time or smth?#but. we all know how that went. grimaces. thank god we don't have three-act archon quests anymore right#but her sticking visions into a celestial statue does make me curious about the responsibilities of the four shades#and if one of them either had something to do with the vision system or with the quote-unquote ascension system#like what the fuck did that line in neuvillette's ''vision'' story mean#about the gods receiving gifts after a vision holder completes their duty. HUH#just auuugh. ripping and tearing#hope we get to see a full design of egeria when furina's second story quest comes out in. 4.6 i think
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Even if you don't plan on stay around it's good to see you're doing ok, I was worried
It is GOOD to see you too man I'm sorry for worrying u 🙏 I missed y'all fr
#asks#latenitewaffles#koopa bro#it IS GOOD TO SEE U TOO MAN!! WHAT A TIME TO BE BACK#yall i did not mean to leave for what like 6 months 😭#im glad i did ill be honest very good for the mental health#went on a journey to heal and almsot failed college though 💀 we'll see for definitely in two weeks? i think?#and then im off on my job 🫡 moving out and everything scary stuff#BUT YEAH HOW ARE U!!!!#hope you dont mind me answering this publicly#but it has been a minute damn#i don't know what im doing with regards to this blog tbh 😩 im just gonna chill and see how it goes#id like to use it more ideally because i really did miss it and i missed talking about hcs and ocs and what have u#but i dont wanna overdo it you know#we'll see what happens yolo after all 🫡#idk did i mention it in the other tags but i saw rhe messages you guys left in my inbox and thank u 🙏#very sweet of yall#but that is enough of me rambling LMAO goodnight p3 remake wild af#we're not getting p6 anytime soon though thats for sure 💀💀💀
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God I could and should write a whole fucking book by the end of this life here on Lev and his symbols
ill write it then burn it before anyone else gets a copy. or i wont. im supposed to be helping him this incarnation here to get a better anchor in this plane so maybe it would help more than itd be weird - im just getting from him the energy of "yeah no people already effectively have these things, people on my plane already know me inside and out to an extensive degree, may as well have it here too" you know. fair
#~abyssal murmurs#ugh god i love his tone saying that tho. i kept trying to prod to see if it was a ''ugh yeah people know me inside and out and Yes Its#Invasive But -'' but no#oh my god man. his like energy towards his people is..... BEFORE I SAY THIS#I HOPE YOU ALL KNOW IM ANTI PROPAGANDA. the biggest reason i dont work with Lu and others is bc theres this tendency to#be like ''we're darkness but also light! we're teachers we're enlightened we're pure in our own way and the kings are here to#teach you how to empower yourselves and they love all worshipers and they reject all tyrannical authority and they are the good guys#against the chrxstian god who (insert specific atrocity that actually was committed by the kings not the 'chrxstian god' - and#''demons'' should KNOW that because it was AN IMPORTANT PART OF THE WAR so either theyre LYING orrrrr) and we're actually#really down to earth and more holy than anyone else bc we're enlightened - i mean uh uh no wait that contradicts us being#against the love and light style of enlightenment chasing'' like. i will tell you that my boss has massacred a lot of people i will tell yo#im anti monarchy and i dont believe that the kings' peoples are any better than 'angels' and i will tell you a lot of innocents on both#sides have been lost bc of royalty and rich families the kings are directly tied to#so i hope you know that when i say the way lev treats his people in his mind is..... holy shit#i pick apart everything he does. ive seen sides of him that are dark af (and i love him for them lmfao) but as soon as his people are#involved... have you ever been w someone getting hot and bothered and a kid walks in that you thought was sleeping and you just switch#completely into parent mode like. he'll have complex fictions w me helping me write stories about corrupt monarchies and shit#and then no. he is like. hes very good at mindset switching and going immediately into different faces but i swear#his ''i am a king and a king is a head of a mass of people - a king is a servant to his people'' mode is like. impenetrable#he is so. fucking intensely single-minded and trained to be a king unlike anyone else. anyway what was i talking about#OH YEAH. his tone w what i wrote in the post. was so switched into that mode of ''my viscera is theirs to eat as Im splayed on their table#and this is divine ruling. this is my purpose with them'' type shit. PURE thought. there is no other energy i can find in it other than#pure ''this is my job and i do it''. pure as in distilled. a pure tone like a sine wave played on a synth as opposed to a string plucked#leviathan //#ive. im nervous about saying the shit ive said here lmfao but ive had his OK before to say it ALSO. AS I SAID. theres no way his people#dont know the massacre was done by the kings lmfao. like. yall were involved. and also you all have to know that one of the#people that pretends to be the christian god is. two of the kings actually and since lev commonly appears to people and lets them#decide who he is bc hes never arsed making a show of Being Leviathan and whatnot im sure hes been called God plenty of times#too but like. cmon. I dont know who started the ''oh the uh the invading heaven and killing off half the population was the#chrxstian god'' rumour but i was first exposed to it through lu and (his wife) worshipers so yall get the blame - that said...
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I can't stop thinking about you,
about us
and the spaces inbetween
your fingers and mine
bodies colliding,
breathing in each other's spirit,
inhaling,
breathing, in the spaces inbetween
The bus ride back from the school trip
shared learning,
it snowed a lot that night
you sat beside me on the way back
our fingers intertwined,
hidden
hands sandwiched between your leg and mine,
we hid our selves from the others.
we talked about everything
your dad, my parents
therapy
the concert
that concert, when I saw you
I'd swore to myself I was over you
That you didn't own me anymore
But one look and I crumbled
I needed you, at least, I think I did,
I wanted to need you, to want you
Does that make sense?
I'm in love with being in love
In love with feeling like I need you
In love with being needed, being wanted
I need to be needed,
need to be there with you,
Not in this inbetween, this space
breathing into the silence
I'm in love with the spaces inbetween
The spaces between your face and mine
At that concert, with our bodies squashed together
I really wanted to kiss you, then
I count the space inbetween
breathing in the inbetween
You always smelled nice
I dreamed about kissing you
Running my hand through your soft hair
Slowly counting down the spaces inbetween
Breathing them in, breathing in you
bodies colliding, morphing, merging
becoming one
I miss you
And the spaces inbetween
you don't answer my texts anymore
I hate it
I hate that I need you, or feel like I do
That I'm stuck here, discarded
In the space inbetween
The silence consumes everything
My thoughts echoing
far too loud for someone so quiet.
I get that a lot, actually
I'm quiet, usually
I'm too loud with you
You overwhelm me
And I think I overcomplicate
overcompensate
overthink
For example;
If I text you first, do I come across as too clingy? What constitutes being clingy, and how tolerant are you of me and my possible clinginess? If I use an exclamation mark, am I too forward, too excitable, too childish? If I use undercaps will I come across as noncommittal, nonchalant, uninterested? Will all-caps make you uncomfortable, as though I am yelling? What greeting should I use, and what are the implications of each- 'hey', 'hello', 'hi', 'heya', 'yo', 'wassup', 'sup'; the list goes on endlessly. Should I elongate the greeting, adding extra "i's" into "hi" to draw it out, or is that to childish, does it seem like I'm looking for attention?
On the other hand, if I leave the decision to you, if I wait for you to text first, what will happen? Of course, I will constantly check my phone even when my vibrate is on, looking for the notification that doesn't come, waiting for you to initiate contact so I can close the spaces inbetween us, or suppose you are going through the same thought process as I, and we come to the same conclusion, both waiting for the other to message.
And so it continues, so much consideration put into a singular text, one that I probably won't send, one that I might tap out.
I don't think you actually love me, or ever did,
I guess that's okay
In truth, I probably don't love you either
It's more likely to be the infatuation with the idea of love
I have a chronic addiction to romance
idealising, imagining, dreaming
Stupid fantasies gradually turning into expectations
High standards and expectations
I expected too much of you
Romanticising romance, thinking it would be perfect
I projected that onto you, my idea of a relationship
I think you projected onto me, too
Both of us falling not for each other but for what we perceived as the other person, which was really just a reflection of our insecurities and wishes
falling for ourselves, projected onto others
Twisted self-love for self-hatred
a sickening conundrum
it's almost laughable, don't you think?
Loving to hate ourselves
Hating to love ourselves
I think, somewhere, we got life mixed up with death
Romanticising our flaws which we saw as belonging to someone else
It's stupid, really
They're called flaws for a reason
I think I should let you know, you know
That someone who loves your flaws isn't really someone who loves you
You need someone who loves you despite them
Who sticks with you even when your flaws kick and lash out at them
I can't be that person for you anymore
I'm leaving us
and the spaces inbetween
of course, you've already left
haven't spoken in months
I just stand here in the space inbetween
a coward with too many thoughts and too little courage
All these words rolling around inside of me
I'll let them out eventually
Out into the inbetween, as I start to breathe again, not for you,
for me.
poem title: "Breathing inbetween". written 17 June 2020
#poetry backlog: issue 3#this one is from. a WHILE ago. like 5 years ago i think#i think its a bit dumb and long and rambly but im trying to get everything up as like an archive so here yall go.#i wanted to edit this before posting but... i dunno. it feels wrong to edit something now so old. almost sacrilegious.#just because i dont feel this way now doesn't invalidate what i thought i felt then. and what i did feel.#so it stays. long and rambling and a little embarrassing and yet it is.#such is the way of poetry i suppose#it was about the first trans person i ever met and how i felt i was in love with them#but it was actually the euphoria of knowing that being transgender was *possible*#and not knowing the difference between the two and the weird fucked up bond it created#anyway also that person is an asshole. so im glad we never dated and stopped talking#i dont regret meeting you but i am relieved that we have stopped the meeting. you know? im sure you do.#im sure you feel the same. i am sure you think i am a far more evil and malicious person than i ever was.#i think similarly of others that you like so much.#i hope you never find this.#i am glad i met you but i hope it never happens again.#poetry#poems#from the archives
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ARE YOU JEALOUS?

Summary: Sassy!Kook!Reader gets jealous when she sees Rafe Cameron close with another girl...
Content: neck sucking (?), childhood friends to lovers, kind of mean!rafe in one scene, bullying lol, suggestive towards the end but just a tiny bit.
Words Count: 5.5k ... i don't know what the fuck happened...
Aliyah's talking: IDK if i fw this or not but i hope yall will lolz <3 Thank you so much for the love on Protective Instincts btw!!!! I am so grateful and surprised that many of you all enjoyed it. Hope u'll enjoy this one too 🩷
Sunlight streamed into Sarah’s room, casting a soft, golden glow over the space as you lounged on her bed, idly flipping through a magazine. You both were sprawled across the plush, yellow covers, surrounded by half-empty bags of chips and scattered makeup palettes—evidence of an afternoon well spent. Sarah was perched by the vanity, trying on different lip glosses, all of which looked beautiful on her, but she insisted on which one was the best.
“So, tell me again,” she started, holding up a tube of shimmery pink gloss and squinting at it thoughtfully. “Why don’t you go for Jake? I mean, he’s cute, he’s smart—”
“And boring. He is boring,” you interjected, rolling your eyes with a laugh. “Come on, Sarah, you know how I am. I need someone with a little more… edge…? Someone that could handle me but also play the game, you know?”
Sarah smirked, setting the lip gloss down and turning to face you. “Edge… Handling your attitude… I’m afraid that weirdly sounds like someone we both know.”
“You think you’re so funny, huh?” you said, shooting her a mock glare.
She laughed, completely unbothered. "What? I’m just stating the facts!" She shrugged, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "As much as I hate to admit it, my brother definitely fits both criteria, so…”
You were listening to her but stopped when your phone buzzed. Out of habit, you unlocked it and opened the notification from Instagram; Topper posted a new story and you watched it. The screen was filled with a shaky video of the beach, the late afternoon sun casting golden light over everything. You recognized some people, but your attention zeroed in on Rafe, right in the center of it all. He was grinning, his arm slung around a girl who was laughing and pulling him closer, like they were the only two people on the beach.
You felt a quick, unwelcome pang in your chest.
“Hey, what’s got you so interested?” Sarah’s voice broke through your thoughts, and you glanced back at her, masking any hint of emotion with a casual smirk.
You locked the screen and tossed the phone aside. “Nothing. Just Topper’s beach parties and Instagram stories.”
She gave you a skeptical look, folding her arms. “Don’t lie to me. I know you better than yourself, what did you see in that story, Y/N?”
You hesitated, but then shrugged, trying to play it off. “Rafe was at the party with some girl. A new girl. It’s not a big deal.”
“Ah, I see,” she said with a raised eyebrow. “You know he’s always messing around with someone new. But… I thought you didn’t care about what he was up to.”
“I don’t,” you said, a bit too quickly, crossing your arms. “He can do whatever the hell he wants.”
“Right. So, you don’t care at all?”
You rolled your eyes, trying to suppress a smile. “Look, I just don’t get what’s so special about him that girls keep falling over themselves to be around him. That’s all.”
She nodded with a giggle. “Yeah, no, I definitely—”
“And doesn’t it bother anyone that he’s got a new girl every week? I mean, if I were one of those girls who actually liked him, I’d be furious. Wouldn’t you, Sar?” You barely paused before continuing, not even waiting for her answer. “It’s honestly just sad because Rafe really isn’t even all that. Sure, he can be fun and nice sometimes, but he’s also a huge asshole with a big fucking ego. Is it just me, or is everyone blind to that?”
Sarah was quiet for a moment, studying you with a thoughtful expression before she finally spoke up. “You know what? I think we could both use a break from overthinking anything about the opposite sex. How about we get out of here and grab some smoothies? I heard there’s a new spot by the marina.”
You nodded, grateful that she didn’t talk about your little moment. “Yeah, let’s go.”
Sarah grabbed her bag, giving you one last teasing smile. “Smoothies and maybe some retail therapy afterward?”
“Sounds like a plan,” you replied, letting the idea of a carefree afternoon replace the lingering thoughts of Rafe. Whatever he was up to, it was his business. You weren’t about to let it ruin your day.
The soft hum of the fridge and the rhythmic clinking of silverware filled the kitchen as you, Sarah, and Rafe gathered around the island, your weekly routine as ingrained as the family photos lining the walls. The night was settling in, casting a cozy stillness over the room. You were only half-listening as Sarah rambled on about her weekend plans, your attention instead focused on pushing pasta around on your plate, not particularly hungry.
Rafe sat across the counter, leaning back in his chair with an ease that always seemed to irritate you. He had been quiet, too but you knew he wouldn’t last long. Sure enough, he broke the silence.
“Alright,” he began, raising an eyebrow at you, “what’s up with you tonight? You’re awfully quiet.”
You didn’t look up, keeping your tone purposefully casual. “Nothing’s up,” you replied, hoping he’d let it go. But you knew better.
“Come on,” he pressed, tilting his head in that infuriatingly smug way. “Where’s that feisty attitude you always have? Usually, by now, you’d have already made at least five smartass comments about my shirt or something.”
You let out a short, unimpressed laugh, finally meeting his gaze with a raised eyebrow. “Maybe I just ran out of things to say about you, Rafael. Ever think of that?”
He grinned, his eyes glinting with mischief. “Nah. You’ve got an endless supply of attitude, Y/N. I’d be shocked if you were ever actually out of material.” He took a sip from his glass, watching you over the rim with that familiar, infuriating smirk.
Sarah shot you a look, her mouth twisted in a tired smile as she mouthed, here we go. She had seen this routine a thousand times before.
“You really think I spend that much time thinking about you?” you fired back, folding your arms over your chest and fixing him with an unimpressed stare.
“Oh, I don’t think,” he replied smoothly, leaning in a little closer, “I know. Admit it. I’m in your head, aren’t I?”
You let out an exaggerated sigh, leaning back in your chair as you tossed him an indifferent look. “Right. You’re the center of my world, Rafe. Can’t you tell?”
He chuckled, clearly enjoying this. “You know, when you’re this quiet, it’s like a fucking flashing neon sign saying, ‘Something’s up’. Might as well tell me now.”
You rolled your eyes. You knew that engaging with him like this was a slippery slope—once you started, he never let up. But for some reason, tonight, you couldn’t help yourself.
“Honestly, I don’t have the energy for your little mind games tonight,” you said, trying to sound as bored as possible. “So, if you’re expecting me to entertain you, you’re gonna be disappointed.”
“Oh, come on. I don’t believe that for a second,” he shot back, leaning back casually in his chair as if he had all the time in the world to wear you down. “You love this. Sparring with me? It’s basically your favorite hobby.”
You scoffed, shaking your head. "Didn’t realize my silence was such a tragedy for you.”
“Oh, it is. I mean, where else am I supposed to get my daily dose of attitude?” He leaned back, feigning a pout. “Come on, you’re no fun like this. Did something happen?”
You rolled your eyes, twirling your fork in the pasta as if it held your entire focus. “Why would you care? I’m sure you have more important things to worry about. Maybe more girl—”
Sarah let out a sigh, interrupting before Rafe could respond. “Honestly, do you two ever get tired of this? We’re supposed to be having dinner, and it feels like I’m watching some sort of weird rom-com.”
You shot Sarah an exasperated look. “There’s nothing romantic about this, Sar. It’s called surviving.”
“Right,” Sarah said, clearly unconvinced. “But could you maybe survive without the constant bickering? Just once?”
Rafe smirked, clearly unfazed by Sarah’s comment as he turned back to you. “I don’t know. I think she secretly enjoys it. You should see how she lights up when she gets going.”
“Fuck off,” you muttered, taking a long sip from your glass and hoping it would mask the heat you could feel rising in your cheeks.
He watched you with an amused glint in his eye, clearly picking up on your discomfort. “A little defensive, aren’t we? I mean, I’m just stating the obvious here. You’ve been on edge all night. Care to share with the class what’s really bothering you?”
You set your glass down with a little more force than necessary, fixing him with a glare. “You really think everything’s about you, don’t you?”
“Not everything,” he replied, shrugging casually. “Just the things that involve you. Because, for some reason, every time you’re in a mood, it usually has something to do with me.”
You opened your mouth to argue, but then closed it again, unsure of how to respond without giving anything away. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he’d hit a nerve, even if he had.
“What’s the matter, princess?” he continued, pushing his plate aside as he leaned forward, his eyes never leaving yours. “Did something happen between you and Jake, huh? I thought you two were casually talk—”
You groaned, frustrated that he’d brought Jake into it. “There’s nothing to say about Jake. I’m just tired, okay? Not everything has to be about some guy.”
“Oh, I’m aware,” Rafe replied, his tone laced with a hint of smugness. “But I’d say you’re a little more…on edge than usual. So, it has to be about that guy, right…”
“Jake’s got nothing to do with this,” you said, your tone steady. “Unlike you, he actually knows how to mind his own business.”
Well, you’re just lying because you’ve never taken the time to actually learn about Jake and what type of person he was. As bitchy as it sounded, you were using him as a distraction.
You stared at him, hoping your silence would be enough to make him drop it. But, of course, he didn’t.
Rafe crossed his arms as he studied you, his gaze never wavering. “So, you’re saying you prefer a guy who lets you get away with whatever you want, then?”
You scoffed. “No, Rafe. I am saying I prefer a guy who doesn’t feel the need to stick his nose into everything I do. You know, a guy who’s secure enough to let me be without constantly needing to provoke me.”
“Yeah, I see,” he replied, nodding softly. “So, basically, you’re looking for someone boring. Someone who doesn’t challenge you, who just lets you coast by. Am I right?”
You let out a dry laugh, shaking your head. “You think you know me so well, don’t you? Don’t flatter yourself, Cameron. I can find someone else to annoy me if I really wanted to.”
Rafe’s eyes darkened, but that infuriating smirk stayed in place, like he thrived on every bit of tension between you. He cocked an eyebrow, leaning forward, his voice a low, taunting whisper. “Oh yeah? Who, exactly? Jake? He’s perfect for you—goody-two-shoes, never steps out of the fucking line. Because, let’s be honest, you’d crush him. He’d never call you out, never push you.” He paused, and there was a bitterness beneath his words, hidden but unmistakable. “He’d be safe.”
A bitter smile twisted your lips, the pain creeping into your voice despite your best efforts. “At least Jake knows how to be respectful. He wouldn’t stoop to tearing me down just to get a rise. He wouldn’t need to.”
Rafe scoffed, his amusement tinged with a hint of anger. “Respectful? Fuck that. You want someone to play nice and tell you what you want to hear, go right ahead. But I think we both know that’s not what you really want.” He took a step closer, his gaze fierce, challenging. “You think I’m the bad guy because I’m not afraid to tell you the truth. I don’t play pretend. I’m not here to tell you sweet lies—I’d rather see who you really are, even if that means pissing you off.”
You narrowed your eyes, fury blazing in your chest. He was looking right at you, like he could see through every layer you tried so hard to put up. But there was something deeper in his gaze, a flicker of something that made your heart race even as anger burned within you. And you hated that he could do that—make you feel so exposed, so raw, yet so alive all at once.
But to him, this was just another game. He thrived on your frustration, on the way he could get under your skin with just a few well-placed words. It was a twisted power play, a battle neither of you were willing to lose. And for a moment, the air between you was charged, almost electrifying, the tension so thick it was nearly suffocating.
You wanted to hate him, but a part of you couldn’t help but wonder if he was right—if he really did see through to the parts of you that no one else dared to touch.
But that only made you angrier, and you felt a surge of resentment rise within you, pushing you over the edge. With a sudden flash of fury, you slammed your fists onto the table, the sound echoing through the room, your voice sharp and cutting. “You know what? Fuck you, Rafe Cameron.”
Without another word, you turned and stormed out.
The sound reverberated through the Cameron household, leaving a heavy silence. Rafe stood there, fists clenched, trying to swallow down the mix of anger and something else—something that felt dangerously close to longing.
Sarah raised an eyebrow at her brother. “You’re a fucking asshole, you know that?”
Rafe shot her a look, irritation simmering just beneath the surface. “You don’t get it, Sarah. She’s… She’s infuriating.”
But then he hesitated, his gaze drifting toward the door you had just stormed out of. The edge of his lips twitched in a way that was all too vulnerable, too honest. “But there’s something about her,” he admitted, his voice softening. “She’s fierce and passionate. When she’s angry, it’s like she’s alive in a way I can’t help but be drawn to. It’s frustrating, but… but she’s not afraid to challenge me, to call me out.” He paused, searching for the right words, his heart racing.
“And so that makes it right for you to annoy her to that point?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I can’t help it. I want her to see the real me, too. It’s like I can’t breathe when she’s around and then—when she leaves? It’s like the air just… disappears.” He ran a hand through his hair, a mix of confusion and desire etched across his features. “She challenges me in ways I never expected, and it drives me insane, but I can’t help but want more of her.”
“Wow,” Sarah said softly, her voice full of surprise. “I didn’t think I’d see the day Rafe Cameron talked about someone like this—but mess around with her like that one more time, and I’ll hurt you.”
The sun spilled into your bedroom, casting a warm glow that felt inviting. But you stirred, still brimming with the tumult of emotions from last night. Rafe’s words echoed in your mind—his teasing, the way he pushed your buttons, and the way your heart raced despite your annoyance. You groaned and rolled over, pulling the blanket over your head, hoping to drown out the memories.
But then laughter broke through the haze of your thoughts. It was bright and carefree, drifting in through the open window. Intrigued, you tossed off the blanket and slid out of bed, your curiosity piqued. A quick glance outside revealed the source of the joyful sounds: Sarah, Wheezie, and Rafe were out by the pool, splashing water and playfully throwing each other around.
Rafe, wearing nothing but swim trunks that hung low on his hips, was the centerpiece of the scene, effortlessly drawing your gaze. His tanned skin glimmered, accentuating the muscles that rippled as he dove and surfaced in the water, laughter spilling from his lips, infectious and buoyant.
You caught yourself ogling him, eyes roaming over the way the water dripped from his hair, the way his body moved with ease and confidence. It wasn’t fair, really—how could someone be so effortlessly captivating? The sun caught the edges of his grin as he tossed Wheezie playfully into the pool, the sound of her laughter ringing out like music.
You were lost in the moment, so caught up in the heat of his gaze that you didn’t even notice the way your thighs clenched together, craving the contact that felt just out of reach. All you could think about was the overwhelming desire to touch him—everywhere. You imagined your hands gliding over his toned chest, feeling the hard flex of his biceps beneath your fingertips, tracing the lines of his powerful arms as they wrapped around your body, waist, and ass pulling you closer.
You wanted him. God, did you want him.
Why did he have this effect on you? Why was he constantly invading your thoughts, even now?
A sudden buzz from your phone pulled you from your reverie. You grabbed it from the bedside table and saw a message from Sarah: “Get your ass out here! We’re in the pool, it’s fun! You’ll want to join us!”
A smile tugged at your lips at Sarah's enthusiasm, but a moment of hesitation passed as you remembered the tension of last night. Still, you didn’t want to be the odd one out. With a determined sigh, you pulled yourself away from the window and began to get ready.
You rummaged through your drawers, searching for that one bikini that made you look stunning and earned you a handful of compliments every time you wore it. Finally, you found it: a deep emerald green that contrasted perfectly against your skin tone. It was cut high, accentuating your legs, the top was daring, showing just enough to leave to the imagination. You paired it with a pair of denim shorts.
You headed towards the back door, nerves swirling in your stomach. As you stepped outside, the head of the sun hit you like a wave, and the sounds of laughter grew louder.
“You’re awake!” Sarah exclaimed, her voice bright and cheerful. “I thought we’d have to drag you out here!”
You laughed lightly, feeling a playful energy surge within you. “I’m here, aren’t I?” You shot back, trying to keep your tone light as you made your way toward the pool.
Wheezie exclaimed, eyes wide of admiration. “Wow, Y/N! Look at you!”
“Thanks!” you replied, trying to play it cool but secretly loving the attention. You glanced at Rafe, who had turned to face you, and your heart raced at the sight of him leaning against the pool’s edge, water cascading down his toned body.
His gaze lingered on you, a mix of surprise and appreciation playing across his features. “Well, well, if it isn’t the queen herself,” he teased, that infuriating smirk stretching across his face. “Nice of you to join us.”
You rolled your eyes and turned your back to him, feigning indifference as you busied yourself with anything but him. The events of last night were still fresh in your mind, a heated clash that left you reeling and more than a little irritated. You were determined not to give him the satisfaction of a reaction.
“Oh, so I get the silent treatment?” he drawled, his voice dripping with playful disbelief. “I’m devastated,” he added, the corner of his mouth quirking up in that infuriatingly irresistible smirk that always made your heart flutter.
Instead, you focused on Sarah and Wheezie, who were gleefully splashing water at each other. You couldn’t help but feel the pull of their energy.
Hours rolled by and you settled onto a lounge chair, you could feel Rafe’s eyes on you, the heat of his gaze igniting your skin in a way that both thrilled and annoyed you. He was still in the pool, looking at you like he wanted to eat you alive. You didn’t know but you were driving him crazy with that attitude of yours, this whole ignoring thing and your fucking bikini.
Sarah and Wheezie went inside the house to prepare some snacks and drinks for us because we were getting hungry and thirsty, leaving only Rafe and you.
You pulled your phone, pretending to scroll through social media, anything to distract yourself from the way your heart raced at his presence. A notification lit up your phone, and your heart skipped a beat when you saw Jake’s name flash across the screen. The excitement surged through you as you opened the message:
"Hey, gorgeous. I really like you, and I’d love to take you out sometime. You in?"
He was cute—way too cute.
A grin crept onto your lips, and for once, you allowed yourself to enjoy the attention from someone who wasn’t toying with your emotions. Someone who actually seemed genuine. No games, no mixed signals. Just interest. The kind that felt refreshing after dealing with someone who never seemed to know what he wanted.
You barely had time to revel in it before Rafe’s voice cut through the moment, sharp and demanding. “What’s got you smiling like that?”
Your grip tightened on your phone instinctively, and you flicked your gaze up to him, feigning nonchalance. “Oh, nothing. Just a friend,” you said, slipping your phone screen down against your thigh.
Rafe wasn’t buying it. His eyes narrowed, skepticism written all over his face. “Just a friend, huh?” His voice had that dangerous edge to it, the one you knew too well. “Funny, you don’t usually smile like that over friends.”
You felt his eyes burning into you, but you refused to give him the satisfaction. “Really? Maybe you don’t know me as well as you think,” you teased, biting back the smirk threatening to break free.
Rafe’s jaw clenched. “Who was it?”
“Like I said, just a friend,” you repeated, your voice smooth, but now you were teasing on purpose. You could feel his irritation rising, and part of you enjoyed it. “What, are you jealous or something?”
He scoffed, though you didn’t miss the way his eyes darkened. “Why the hell would I be jealous?” he snapped, though it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself than you. “I’m just asking a question.”
“Uh-huh.” You raised an eyebrow, leaning back and tilting your head, watching him closely. “Right. Just a casual question, huh? Totally doesn’t sound like someone’s jealous.”
His hands were now resting on the edge of the pool, gripping it just a little too tightly. “I’m not jealous,” he repeated, but the way his gaze darted to your phone said otherwise. “But if it’s someone trying to get at you, then yeah, I wanna know. Who is it?”
“Someone,” you said vaguely, enjoying the fact that Rafe was teetering on the edge of losing it. “Someone who’s interested, clearly.”
Rafe’s eyes flared, and the jealousy in his voice became impossible to miss. “Interested in what? You?” His lips curled into a scowl, his muscles tense. “What, you think some random guy’s gonna—”
“Maybe,” you cut in, your smile growing. “Maybe he’s actually straightforward, you know? No mind games, no drama. Just a guy who knows what he wants.”
His brows shot up, the implication stinging. “And you think I don’t know what I want?”
You shrugged, not backing down an inch. “Well, you never seem to make it that clear. Maybe someone else is going to take your place as my—”
The possessiveness in his eyes flared. He pushed himself up out of the pool, water dripping from his shoulders as he moved closer, his presence looming over you. “No one’s stepping up, got it? No one’s taking my place.”
You met his gaze, unflinching, even as your heart raced a little faster. “Oh? And what exactly is your place, Rafe?”
He leaned in, the heat between you practically crackling. “You know damn well where my place is,” he murmured, his voice low, daring, yet with a hint of uncertainty creeping in. “And I’m not about to let some bitch ass slide in because you think I don’t care.”
You smiled, tilting your head, savoring the tension. “Seems like you do care. Maybe more than you want to admit.”
“Because I do care, Y/N,” he murmured softly, swiping his wet thumb across your cheek. “I told you already that I cared way too damn much.”
Rafe’s thumb lingered on your cheek, the warmth of his touch sending shivers through your body despite the heat of the day. His eyes held yours, dark and intense, as if he were trying to convey all the words he couldn’t quite say aloud. The air between you was thick, charged with a tension that had been building for far too long.
You swallowed hard, trying to hold onto some semblance of control, but it was a losing battle. “Your way of showing it is fucked, Rafe.”
Your words were meant to cut, but they came out softer than you intended, almost like a challenge. His jaw tightened, but instead of snapping back with some cocky retort, he stepped even closer. The scent of chlorine and his skin invaded your senses, and you couldn’t help but notice how his muscles tensed as he towered over you, dripping with water, his presence commanding.
“I care,” he repeated, his voice lower now, almost a growl. His eyes flicked down to your lips and back to your eyes, like he was making a decision in real time. “I care more than you know.”
Before you could muster a reply, his hand slid from your cheek to the back of your neck, pulling you just a little closer, your breath hitching as his lips hovered near your ear. “I think you know exactly what my place is,” he murmured, his voice rough with unspoken desire. “And you’re not running from it.”
His breath was hot against your skin, sending a wave of heat cascading down your spine. He didn’t move right away, as if savoring the tension that crackled between you, the nearness, the inevitability of it all. Your heart pounded in your chest, your pulse quickening as his lips brushed, ever so lightly, against the sensitive spot just below your ear.
You gasped, your hands instinctively gripping the fabric of your shorts as your body reacted to him, heat pooling low in your belly. “Rafe…” you whispered, not quite a protest, but not quite giving in either.
But he wasn’t about to back down now. He shifted closer, his mouth grazing the curve of your neck, soft at first, then firmer, the scrape of his teeth making your pulse race. Your skin ignited under his touch, and a low moan escaped your lips before you could stop it.
“You feel that?” he whispered, his lips trailing lower, his voice husky and thick with need. “That’s not some game. That’s real.”
Your body arched toward him of its own accord, your resistance melting as his hands slid down to your waist, fingers pressing firmly into your skin, pulling you closer. You could feel the heat of his breath on your neck, his lips teasing, torturing, as they brushed along your collarbone. Every touch, every whisper was setting your nerves alight, and you were dizzy with the intensity of it.
“You’re such an ass,” you muttered, trying to keep a shred of control, but your voice lacked conviction.
He chuckled softly, the sound vibrating against your skin. “Maybe,” he agreed, his lips brushing the spot just beneath your ear again, sending a fresh wave of shivers down your spine. “But you can’t stop thinking about me, can you?”
You hated how right he was. You hated how easily he could unravel you, how even now, you were leaning into his touch, craving more of it. But there was no way you were giving him the satisfaction of hearing it.
“Stop being so cocky,” you managed to whisper, though your voice wavered with the desire that coursed through you.
But Rafe wasn’t in the mood to stop. His hand slid to your lower back, pulling your body flush against his, the coolness of his skin mingling with your own heat. You could feel the hard lines of his body pressed against yours, his chest rising and falling as his lips grazed your shoulder, his teeth scraping lightly against your skin, just enough to make you shudder.
“Admit it,” he murmured against your neck, his voice a deep, rough command. “You want this.”
You closed your eyes, fighting to hold onto your last thread of self-control, but the tension between you was overwhelming, suffocating. His lips moved lower, placing slow, deliberate kisses along your collarbone, each one leaving a trail of fire in its wake. Your breath came in ragged gasps as your body betrayed you, leaning into him, craving the heat of his touch, the weight of his gaze, the way he made you feel like the only person in the world.
“Rafe…” you breathed, your voice barely audible, as his hand slid down to your hip, his fingers digging into your skin possessively. You could feel his breath on your neck, his lips hovering just above the place where your pulse raced beneath the surface.
“I want you, Y/N,” he whispered against your skin, his voice raw, filled with the desire that had been simmering between you for what felt like forever. “And I’m not letting anyone else have you.”
His words sent a shiver down your spine, and before you could think better of it, your hands were in his hair, pulling him closer, your body aching for the contact you’d been denying yourself for so long.
Your lips collided with his in a heated rush, all the pent-up tension and desire finally unraveling between you. Rafe’s hands immediately gripped your hips, pulling you impossibly closer as he kissed you like he’d been waiting for this moment forever. His lips were demanding, rough and hungry, but there was a softness to the way he held you, like he wanted to savor every second. You melted into him, fingers tangling in his wet hair, feeling the slickness of the pool water on his skin as his body pressed against yours.
The taste of him, mixed with the faint tang of chlorine, was intoxicating. It was all-consuming, drowning out every rational thought. He kissed you like he was staking his claim, like he wanted to erase any trace of doubt from your mind, and for a moment, you let him. Your body responded instinctively, arching against his as his hands roamed down your back, gripping you tighter.
When you finally broke apart, both of you gasping for air, Rafe’s forehead rested against yours, his eyes dark with desire and something deeper—something more vulnerable. His chest heaved as he looked at you, his breath coming in ragged bursts. “I like you, Y/N,” he murmured, his voice rough with emotion. “I like you so much it drives me crazy. No more pretending.”
You stared into his eyes, searching for any hint of the cocky facade he usually wore, but it was gone. This was Rafe stripped bare, no teasing, no arrogance—just raw honesty. It made your heart race in a way that had nothing to do with the kiss.
Your breath caught in your throat as you considered what he was saying. Could you trust him? Could you really let your guard down and give in to this, knowing how easily he could hurt you?
But before you could overthink it, he kissed you again, slower this time, more deliberate. His lips moved against yours with a tenderness that made your chest ache, and all your doubts melted away. At that moment, it didn’t matter what had happened before, or what might happen after. All that mattered was how he made you feel right now—wanted, desired, seen.
Rafe pulled back, his thumb brushing gently against your bottom lip, his eyes flicking between yours. “Tell me you feel it too,” he whispered, his voice rough, almost pleading. “Tell me I’m not the only one. Tell me, princess.”
You swallowed hard, your heart hammering in your chest. There was no point in pretending anymore. “You’re not,” you admitted, your voice barely a whisper. “You drive me crazy, Rafe, too—I don’t want to feel this way, but I do.”
His lips curved into a small, triumphant smile, but there was relief in his eyes too, like he’d been holding his breath, waiting for you to say it. “Good,” he murmured, his hand cupping your face as his thumb stroked your cheek. “Because I don’t think I can let you go.”
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Bro once I get my adhd meds it's going to be so over I'm going to read sekai and bndori stories and actually be able to focus on them I'll be unstoppable (in theory)
#rat rambles#band posting#sekai posting#thats assuming I actually get them this time lol#but I am excited because dear god has my adhd been kicking my ass so hard#like dude I forgot how much I just cannot do things or focus on shit its insane#I rly rly hope they work I cannot take this anymore Im tired of being unable to just do shit#I do worry that itll be kinda uncomfortable for me since I rly dont like my brain being quiet but Im willing to take the risk#like I rly do need this I think. I cant get too attached to my symptoms yknow#like the amount of my problems thatd be fixed if I could just sit down and do the work I need to do#like bro what if I could actually get a job or smth#I'm getting ahead of myself ofc but still point stands that if I could find smth that actually works thatd be huge#chances are tho that being able to focus better will just make me read more ds quotes lol#bro Im just gonna sit there and actually write that wendy essay instead of doing my homework dndhfbd#even if that sort of thing happens tho itd still be way better than this#like Im sure yall have noticed but Ive been genuinely struggling to work on Anything lately#Ive just been playing videogames and listening to music I havent even been able to post abt the things I love as much#and its not like I dont want to create stuff I just have been so unable to actually get myself to start and finish shit#like anytime I try to sit down and draw it just. slips away and Im left just sitting there with my drawing music playing#and then I boot up miitopia again lol#this is the first time in a while that Ive felt like genuinely hopeful abt smth like this could genuinely be life changing if it works#I just want to be able to do shit for once in my life I want to be able to read things again I want to be able to draw again I want to feel#like I have any amount of control over my brain for once in my god damn life like plsssss lemme get these meds for realsies this time#if I dont get them Ill cry </3#dude idk how it's only rly sunk in recently that this shit isnt just a passive part of my life but like symptoms and shit#like idk ig I always was just trying to survive the day so I never rly challenged the idea#but like it doesnt need to be like this! theres options! god damn Im dumb dmfndjdb#maybe thisll make it easier to do other shit too even like taking walks and shit#maybe thats a stretch but I can dream because god damn I haven't been able to do Anything for years and years now#like genuinely I just want to feel like I can make real decisions abt my life for once even in the small ways
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