#bro Im just gonna sit there and actually write that wendy essay instead of doing my homework dndhfbd | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

arolesbianism · 1 year ago

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Bro once I get my adhd meds it's going to be so over I'm going to read sekai and bndori stories and actually be able to focus on them I'll be unstoppable (in theory)

#rat rambles #band posting #sekai posting #thats assuming I actually get them this time lol #but I am excited because dear god has my adhd been kicking my ass so hard #like dude I forgot how much I just cannot do things or focus on shit its insane #I rly rly hope they work I cannot take this anymore Im tired of being unable to just do shit #I do worry that itll be kinda uncomfortable for me since I rly dont like my brain being quiet but Im willing to take the risk #like I rly do need this I think. I cant get too attached to my symptoms yknow #like the amount of my problems thatd be fixed if I could just sit down and do the work I need to do #like bro what if I could actually get a job or smth #I'm getting ahead of myself ofc but still point stands that if I could find smth that actually works thatd be huge #chances are tho that being able to focus better will just make me read more ds quotes lol #bro Im just gonna sit there and actually write that wendy essay instead of doing my homework dndhfbd #even if that sort of thing happens tho itd still be way better than this #like Im sure yall have noticed but Ive been genuinely struggling to work on Anything lately #Ive just been playing videogames and listening to music I havent even been able to post abt the things I love as much #and its not like I dont want to create stuff I just have been so unable to actually get myself to start and finish shit #like anytime I try to sit down and draw it just. slips away and Im left just sitting there with my drawing music playing #and then I boot up miitopia again lol #this is the first time in a while that Ive felt like genuinely hopeful abt smth like this could genuinely be life changing if it works #I just want to be able to do shit for once in my life I want to be able to read things again I want to be able to draw again I want to feel #like I have any amount of control over my brain for once in my god damn life like plsssss lemme get these meds for realsies this time #if I dont get them Ill cry </3 #dude idk how it's only rly sunk in recently that this shit isnt just a passive part of my life but like symptoms and shit #like idk ig I always was just trying to survive the day so I never rly challenged the idea #but like it doesnt need to be like this! theres options! god damn Im dumb dmfndjdb #maybe thisll make it easier to do other shit too even like taking walks and shit #maybe thats a stretch but I can dream because god damn I haven't been able to do Anything for years and years now #like genuinely I just want to feel like I can make real decisions abt my life for once even in the small ways

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