#i hope we get another hispanic creator

[arcadianico]

i don’t want any of the english speakers to become president, solely because there’s already too much english on the server and we do not need them to add another english speaker. like i get that it’s a common language so sometimes defaulting to english really is the easiest solution, especially when the translator doesn’t correctly convey what you’re trying to say but we do not need more english

[cambriancrew]

What is Young Wizards, is it anything like The Aepects by L C Mawson at all????

(And if it isn't that's even more of an excuse to Tell Us About Young Wizards!! Win-win!!!)

AHHH YES. We could talk about Young Wizards literally for hours.

So. It's, in a nutshell, a series by @/dduane Diane Duane, about teenagers who get the ability to use magic, which is enacted primarily by use of the wizardly language The Speech, in exchange for using it to fight the Lone Power who created death and entropy. The main wizard characters are Nita Callahan, a nerdy bookworm with an affinity for plants; her best friend Kit Rodriguez, who has an affinity for mechanical things; and Nita's little sister Dairine, who is a geek whose Wizards manual is a walking laptop. The books are incredibly inventive, with places in them like an alternate universe Manhattan where cars and other vehicles are alive; multiple distant planets, each with amazing aliens; the bottom of the ocean; Ireland where the myths really are true; a Mars where people's ideas of Mars from various forms of media including War of the Worlds and Marvin the Martian from Looney Tunes are present.

They're also beautifully diverse and life affirming. The Senior Advisory wizards are a gay couple. Kit is Hispanic. One major side character is black and autistic. There's other various queer characters. The series deals with serious topics like bullying, cancer, death and loss. But there's a throughthread of determination and hope.

Also, supportive adults! Parents who really care about their kids and support their wizardry! Family dynamics that are actually really good! (Most of the time. Nita and Dairine have their moments lol.)

And then there's the Oath. It's so wonderful, we patterned our Code of Conduct partly on it. There's many different versions, but the one we love the most is as follows:

In Life's name and for Life's sake, I assert that I will employ the Art which is Its gift in Life's service alone, rejecting all other usages. I will guard growth and ease pain. I will fight to preserve that which grows and lives well in its own way. Nor will I change any creature unless its growth or life or that of the system of which it is a part are threatened, or threaten another.

To these ends, in the practice of my Art, I will ever put aside fear for courage, and death for life, when it is right to do so, looking always to the Heart of Time where all our sundered times are one and all our myriad worlds lie whole in That from which they preceeded.

Also an art version of the Oath:

I can't seem to find the original creator of the art, it was someone on Tumblr but Tumblr search isn't helping, as usual.

We want two tattoos based on this series. One would be Wizard's Knot plus the first little part of the Oath, "In Life's name and for Life's sake". The other would be the traditional greeting of the Lone Power: "Fairest and Fallen, greetings and defiance." Probably would have that one surrounding the semicolon for depression survival, as suicidality is our personal battle with this universe's version of the Lone Power.

They're also super cheap to get as ebooks through the author's own website, as long as you're not in the UK due to Brexit.

We cannot recommend this series highly enough. If you do end up buying the series and reading it, let us know! We'd love to hear what you think. :)

[hoshibait]

i'd love to hear those drake headcanons of yours :^)!

alright anon i warned you

quick warning for obsessive love and idk bro toxic angst i guess

also another warning i’m projecting a lot, specifically onto drew.

i’m a strong believer of drew being one of those gay people that just really represses their sexuality to the point of just not realizing for a while. he eventually figures out his gender but he doesn’t really talk about it much and cringes when he thinks about it too much. he’s a transfem agender, no big deal.

i know a lot of people hc drew as hispanic and that makes me very happy. you wanna know why i made him peruvian though, i’ll tell you why, i’m projecting, suck it nerd.

drew began being friends with jake during freshman year, in my head i feel like part of it was out of pity, drew didn’t think too much of jake at the time, just a new cool guy to hang out with.

idk how canon this is but in my interpretation the two of them the two of them got close to the point of being best friends, the two of them just jived together so well, he felt so understood, jake was an amazing guy, he was so fun to hang out with. it felt like things were perfect. however we know it wasn’t always great for the opposite party.

i’m a firm believer of neurodivergent jake, i don’t know what he has exactly but he’s def peculiar LMAO.

because of this, he’s always struggled socially and generally just being able to be his true self, of course he has a passion for singing and music and i wouldn’t be surprised if his neurodivergence impacted that at all.

think about it though, you’ve been bullied and outcasted your whole life, and all of the sudden a group of cool dudes want to take you in just because you seem cool to them?

jake finally felt a sense of belonging, right?

except those people were also judgmental to an extent, they put other people down, they put down your passion indirectly. you don’t want to lose them, because they seem to care for you, so you hide and lie, you mask.

i wouldn’t put it past jake to have some identity issues with how much he lies even to himself. ngl the more i write this the more i realize i said all the important things in my little chart. oh yeah my drew bpd hc this is def just me projecting btw, also i called it developing/undiagnosed in the chart since it's very rare for people his age to get diagnosed with it, plus he def goes around untreated. i guess the best way i can describe the two of them in my hc is this weird complicated love-hate thing. they're definitely not healthy, not at this rate, but it's like there's this slight chance, this sliver of hope that maybe things can work. i don't think that would happen though. i still need to think of how jake would even turn down drew, but i just know he'd be, more torn, lmao. you guys think a little bit of tyler the creator could've saved drew //slap

[turnips-dont-grow-on-trees]

Hear me out: no one of sound mind and memory would knowingly name their werewolf kid Jack Russell. Like, I find it so funny that none of the original co-creators ever fessed up to being the one who came up with it; even given the prevalence of eye-rolling puns in comics, they recognized that naming a werewolf character after a breed of dog was just silly.

And sure, you can go the Jacob Russoff route and argue that ‘Jack Russell’ wasn’t the name he was born with, but at some point someone had to make the conscious decision to make that his name. And maybe his mom just didn’t know all that much about dogs, resulting in an unfortunate accident.

Or. His step-father is not also his uncle. I’ve written meta about that before; the upshot is that Jack had a different surname at birth, and then when his mom re-married, everyone in the family took the name ‘Russell,’ resulting in Jack Russell the werewolf. The punny name was not on purpose, it just worked out that way.

Which means we have an opportunity to give Jack a better, different eye-rolling pun of a name! (He chuckled at “I’m be rotting for you,” my man Jack appreciates puns. Why can’t that be a family trait?)

I’ve been working on a ‘Jack London’ pun and would welcome input! If we start with Jack Luna Don____, then when said aloud quickly, my hope is that ‘Lundadon--’ might land somewhere in the ballpark of ‘London.’ However, when I try to look up common Hispanic surnames that start with ‘Don,’ I get a lot of Doñ-- names which don’t have the right pronunciation. I see Dondiego can be a surname, does that work or is it a reach? Is it more common to see it split up into Don Diego? Is there another layer of pun/meaning that could be worked into his last name?

Incidentally, ‘Luna’ is a great name for a werewolf kid and not at all too on-the-nose, because it can be used to justify any number of moon-themed calendars. “Why do you have a watch that tells you the phase of the moon?” “Oh, my middle name is Luna. I’ve always had a lot of moon-themed stuff since I was a kid, people in my family think they’re funny.” Watching Blood Moon on Hulu really drove this point home for me, there’s so much moon imagery in his bedroom but they make it look normal. Incidentally, that film could stand in as a backstory for Jack for anyone looking for alternative inspiration than the comics, just sayin’

(just to be clear, I’m not trying to come up with Jack’s “real name” here - his name is Jack Russell, that’s what he grew up with, it’s what he chooses to go by, it’s what Gael said he was fine with when Giacchino asked how he felt about the name Jack Russell because everyone knows it’s a damn goofy name. This is just ���what might have been the less-goofy name on his birth certificate?’ For fic purposes.)

[i-did]

hi hello i couldn't sleep last night so i was scrolling thru all ur asks and stuff and ur opinions and analyses are so interesting!!! and then afterwards i was thinking about what u were saying about mlm smut and i'd also been thinking about such things a little bit recently bc like.....at a certain point it becomes quite clear that the vast majority of smut-writing is just imitation. like there's the sex noise verb list and all and the whole general mechanics of the sex and those things just .... replicate over and over. and the whole thing w people writing mlm vs wlw smut regardless of their own sexual orientation..... like i feel like a big part of that is just a self-perpetuating thing. like if u have not had sex and u r getting all ur (pleasure-related) sex ed from fandom (even if u do watch porn, that doesn't rlly tell u how to describe stuff? idk) regardless of What fandom , the majority is going to be mlm smut. which is itself majority imitation of other mlm smut, imitating and imitating back to whoever knows what the first smut fanfic was etc. there's just way More to mimic than there is on the women side of things. which then becomes a self-perpetuating thing, bc the mimicry continues and generates more and more. and---if there are fundamental misunderstandings of anatomy involved---those self-perpetuate as well. and maybe even exaggerate. and yeah. does this all make sense? idk i was just thinking about it. like all the stereotypes and stuff continue bc writers are getting their inspo from other writers rather than their own brains. or something. idk!!!!! it's just all... divorced from reality? bc words. or something!! i hope u get what i'm trying to say. just thoughts i've been thinking. anyway i think ur thoughts are cool. and ur writing. ok bye have a good day!!

Okay yeah this is kinda messy but hope u see this, uhh yeah I think you're right about the echo chamber effect fr about stuff. I think it's a mix of projecting too sometimes. talk more under the cut and also link to a video essay since I love video essays.

Here’s a video that sort of touches on this topic: 

“Gay fanfiction” by Sarah Z. (has CC)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8E_C00dKwI

This video begins to talk about fetishization at the end, but also… not really. The words “gay fanfiction” is used as a catchall, when really gay fanfiction is largely mlm written by non-mlm.

Fandom is a largely women's space dominated by the female gaze in a media industry world that is dominated by men and the male gaze. I'm really glad women have this space to explore creativity and queerness, and I don't expect the female gaze to go away, but I am still ultimately bummed out I can’t read most fanfic or interact with most fandom spaces without having fetishization in my face. 

So about 80% of fandom is women, and most of those women aren't straight, but 90% of those women prefer mlm ships. Why don’t they prefer wlw ships? Well definitely part of it is the fact that queerbaiting is centered around white straight men, and then there is also the fact that women tend not to be written as well charcter wise. But the fact still remains that you get jerjean getting priority over Layla and Alvarez who are in canon just as much and are a canon wlw couple who actually interact as well as Alvarez could likely be a woc because of her Hispanic last name. Korasami doesn’t get nearly as much hype as zuko and saka, despite the fact that they are 2 fully dimensional characters who canonly kiss and hold hands, something the creators fought for and ended up having to sacrifice another reboot for. 

I do believe the fandom echo-chamber is largely responsible for… a lot of things, like you're saying. But what's interesting is that the complaints I've heard about visual porn from non mlm in the fandom space is that they can’t get off to it because its for the male gaze and misogynistic usually. But they also don't seem to notice how the mlm smut circles has the female gaze and is also… almost always mlm. If it was a pure anatomical not knowing thing, I get that, but I also think that leads to the question of “then why the male body for porn, and not your own? The one you know and are familiar with?” 

I know some people want to get outside of their own body for porn and don’t want to think of their own anatomy at all, but overall I'm still uncomfortable. If an anglo said “well I watch porn of only Mexicans so I don't self insert” I'm gonna be like … hhhh in a similar way. I understand people “like what they like” but I wish they also noticed said patterns in the first place. I understand the t4t tumblr porn circle, and how it's different from cis people who only watch trans porn. 

I actually wished that instead of fandom focusing on mlm ships where some asshole guy hits on bottom troupe charcter for top troupe character to save, was instead… a wlw character experiencing said shitty getting hit on and other wlw swooping in. what's interesting is fandom writes a lot about misogynistic experiences without often realizing it. Ive read fanfic where guys get called sluts for sleeping with people or called bitch for speaking their mind, these arent things men usually experience, but rather women. Fandom has a lot of internalized misogyny and also queerphobia imo. Women characters often get pushed to the sidelines and men become the canvas for female fans to project onto. 

There is this natural inclination to mlm. When people are talking about “gay shipping” or “gay books” or “gay feels” or even just “gay” mlm is what’s largely in mind. I honestly am kinda saddened by this because if gay fanfiction was really solely about writing more to feel represented, then you would see a lot of bi and ace and lesbian rep, but this isn't the case. Queer women are seriously underrepresented, and I want to hear their stories and read them in fanfiction as well as published. 50% of lgbt literature is mlm, and of that its largely written by women. Becky Albertalli, Rainbow Rowell, Maggie Stiefvater, are the YA big names and are all women writing mlm. Red white and royal blue is written by Casey McQuiston and Captive prince (which is not YA) is written by C. S. Pacat, who is non-binary, but is also TME and not mlm. These are all the big names in mlm lit, behind them is some gay men, but honestly their stories aren't preferred, they're not the right “flavor” for the consumers usually, who are largely women. In general YA consumers and authors are women, but I wish that they… just wrote about women too. I think there is a certain… snowball effect to the overrepresentation of mlm representing the whole LGBT community that leads to fetishization, as well as misogyny playing a factor in: less women characters being written well to write fanfic on, when they are written well they're taken less seriously or the audience struggles to relate to them, they're less marketable then men. 

Idk I never feel “seen” or “represented” by any of the books above, which don't address boyhood and manhood and queerness intersecting really, and AFTG doesn’t either. I relate to AFTG as a trauma victim who has experienced a lot of what many of the characters go through and have gone through in the EC as well as them just overall being very well written characters, but I don't relate to it as a mlm really. I've never seen like.. gay voice or being straight passing or femphobia or how boyhood can be affected from a young age by those around you sensing you're ‘other’ or if you didn't experience this you feel outside the mlm community. Let alone sub cultures like bear and leather and pup, at most you see the word “he's such a twink” in fandom which... i fr hate non mlm using that word because it's usually used to replace the f-slur essentially, used derogatorily or to call him “such a bottom” and stuff like that. It’s like a joke or an insult.

Long story short, idk mang this was a ramble and I think I'm coning down with something. I wanna see more queer women rep and women authors writing about being a queer woman too. I think it's a complex web of fetishization and a bit of forbidden love yaoi culture (or it used to be in the BOYXBOY days) as well as misogyny on an industry level, creator level, as well as reader/consumer and fandom level. I don’t think it’s inherently wrong to explore other peoples stories and what we read has to be segregated, “only mlm are allowed to read and write mlm, only wlw are allowed to read and write wlw,” but I also think author’s intent and audience and background is telling, as well as overall statistics. Like about an hour ago I was looking for cookbooks in spanish or in english, and I was looking for some mexican food cook books, but I had to look for them using words in spanish because otherwise what came up was a bunch of “fiesta party, easy as uno dos tres authentic cooking!” and I was like… hm. Since I could tell they were marketing to anglos. (also the author’s last names were like michelle smith, james cooper, and this could be for a variety of reasons, but I trust Hispanic names more tbh and deadass would look at the authors pictures and if they had other books in Spanish or what their specialties were.)

anyways. not sure how to end this. uhm if anyone has any book recs (my to read list is like 500 books tho no joke) preferably not YA white mlm written by a white lady, hopefully queer women written by queer woman, LMK, I need more wlw and queer women stories on my list. I have a decent amount but always looking for more. I kinda wanna link my goodreads or my storygraph but I also don't want to get doxxed and it has my legal name on it so.

Also, I'm dyslexic and using spell check but if there's like some wild typos my b.

[alienahellsparkle]

❦ List fandoms of my heart: №3 (the last).

✯ Kuroshitsuji (Dark Butler)

This anime is my guide to the world of anime, my first of all, and the first that I liked. In addition, I have been watching it since I was 13 (omg, how old I am..).

I can say, from it I learned what anime is. It is one of my favorites and one of those that I can revisit (P.S .: And I'm still waiting for the new season or new full-length films, although no one said anything or promised anything about it).

The advantages of this anime are - interesting plots, 19th century setting mixed with the supernatural, soundtracks and a huge number of different characters for every taste. As I can tell, everyone will find their ideal 2D kun or chan here.

I could single out a lot of cool characters, but I'm afraid they could be spoilers too, so I'll just mention a few of my personal favorites.

Sebastian is a demon butler and another protagonist besides Ciel. A jack of all trades, a cool killer and one of the most real handsome men who stole many hearts from the female audience, who is in many similar tops and sometimes even has leading positions. I can say that he was my very first anime - love.

Prince Soma is an Indian prince. I don't know how many fans he has, but I think not as many as Sebastian and Ciel. Actually, Soma is the one who attracted me much more and my love for Sebastian did not last forever. This is because Soma, in addition to being beautiful and Indian (which was important to me as a lover of Bollywood films and music, and also interested in Indian culture), has a sweet and good personality. Three combos!

Madame Red is a bright woman with a difficult fate. I guess there isn't much more to say here (spoilers, spoilers, damn it).

Pluto is a devilish dog. Cutie, charming, with one cool ability and mine another anime-love (those who know this character and his unusual ability - yes - yes, I know it's weird to fall in love with characters like him).

As I said, the soundtracks are wonderful - some of the tunes have some classic notes in them, and also, the opening can be recognized from a thousand and it is easy to remember which anime it belongs to.

Also, there are elements of detective and crime, which also adds its own special shades and makes this anime even more interesting and aesthetically pleasing.

I look forward to continuing with it and begin to show interest in anime of a similar genre and setting in one (I found something similar, for example, as "House of Shadows").

✯ Dame x Prince 

Another anime that became my find and I can watch it many times. I liked it so much that after I found it (in 2018 it was a spring novelty), I watched almost all the episodes in one gulp and only later realized that it ends too quickly, because I could not stop in time.

This anime contains everything that I love about the reverse - harems - beautiful drawing, bright colors, romance, elements of comedy and fantasy, attractive male characters and not a stupid main character who can be respected.

We can say that Ani is one of the few normal owners of a harem, but she can be considered a diamond among them. She is encouraged by her courage and the fact that she is not embarrassed when guys compliment her or try to flirt (I could say more about her, but these will be spoilers).

Despite the fact that here the male characters are clichéd, for example - a kind cutie, handsome womanizer, narcissistic rude and so on, they look cool and interesting to watch, it's a pity that we will never know which of them Ani chose in the end.

In addition, there is one more plus in the form of a good plot, after which it helps some characters to reveal themselves.

Even if many people do not always take girly harem animes well and consider them worthless and empty, just to please teenage girls with cute romance in a colorful wrapper, this anime genre also deserves a place to be. Who knows, maybe soon the reverse - harems will evolve even more, at least there are already some anime-worthy options. Everything has its fans..

In general, this is a good and positive anime that can bring more colors to life. And I still hope for season 2.. 

✯ Nanbaka

When you watch a video on the topic: "Guess the gender of anime characters", you will not think that in this way you will be able to discover a new anime. That's how I found out about Nanbaka, after which I watched the first season in a couple of days.

I associate this anime with the beginning of July 2018 and the dairy drinks Twix, Milky Way and Snickers, which at that time I was finally able to taste.

Nanbaka has several advantages - a cool variety of characters, an element of comedy, and an equally vibrant color scheme. Also, I noticed that all characters have their own special difference - they all have nails painted in a different color and have small fangs.

Despite the fact that there is no romance here and the plot is built around a prison theme, Nanbaka is quite interesting to watch, and in some episodes there are elements of drama and seriousness. However, if the first season is more comical situations, then the second season is a little more serious, at least there are more problems that the heroes solve.

Of the characters, there are not only bisonens and heroes with simple qualities including kindness, cuteness, foolishness, signs of a womanizer, hot temper and severity, but there are also unexpected specimens, such as several LGBTQ characters and even antagonists.

Unfortunately, Nanbaka is not a very popular fandom and most likely there will never be a third season... But this is another solid anime that can be endlessly watched and is one of those that drags on from the first episodes.

✯ Romance Club

This visual novel often came across to me in YouTube recommendations, in the form of walkthroughs and analysis of Easter eggs from it.

At first, I was not very interested in this, and from the video, my first impression was that this is just an incomprehensible game with characters similar to cardboard figures, but for some reason it became very popular and discussed on social networks.

After some time, I still began to watch the walkthroughs and more or less began to understand what the whole highlight of the game is, and after that, I began to play myself, though at the beginning, then, I had only a plan to while away the rest of summer time until autumn, but I didn’t notice how I began to be drawn into the RC and it became not just a game for one time, it became a habit that is difficult to get rid of.

Now, it's not just a bunch of pretty cardboard character figurines and a joke that RC is a mix of films like "50 Shades of Gray" and "Twilight", made for teenage girls.

Romance Club is - characters for every taste, from whites and Europeans, to Hispanics and Asians, both boys and girls. LGBTQ relationships have not been forgotten here either.

Various stories with any setting - vampires + werewolves, pirates, aliens, 19th-18th century, royal setting, movie stars and fame, Scandinavian mythology, ancient Greek mythology, sea and beach setting, detectives and crime, ancient Japan (geisha and samurai) , angels and demons, everyday life and much more, but the creators continue to delight us with new stories to this day, and I think we still have a lot to see.

Beautiful graphics and drawing of characters, cool design of clothes, and also, here you can learn how to beautifully compose texts and sentences (let's say this can be useful for the writing sphere), since some stories contain wonderful descriptions of some scenes and comparisons of concepts (example. "Stars as luminous points," and the like).

But besides romance, other important topics can be revealed here, such as the concept of friendship, a hard life due to many problems, courage and self-confidence, and sometimes even 18+ topics can be touched upon. In addition, some stories have instructive facts, for example, something about the history of Turkey during the Ottoman Empire. 

Romance Club is scientifically enlightening!

Despite the fact that I refused to play games, since they take a lot of time, during which you can do a bunch of other useful things, RC is the only game (besides the Sims) on which I do not regret wasting my time and it is always interesting to watch new stories and how the old ones will end.

(P.S.: 

here is part 1 https://lenahellsparkle.tumblr.com/post/650656683336548352/list-fandoms-of-my-heart-1

part 2 https://lenahellsparkle.tumblr.com/post/655103141583470593/list-fandoms-of-my-heart-2)

[moonlightreal]

Rumors! Spoilers! Fans in a frenzy!

While opinions were divided on the first season, it clearly made enough of an impact to warrant future iterations.

Not sure this is totally true.  Everything I’ve heard suggests the second season was planned from the start.... but it’s hard (for me) to tell how popular Fate really was since I’m here in the fandom that hated it.

Arguably these ‘controversies’ were nowhere near enough a reason to cancel the series.

And by arguably they mean we’re all still arguing about it!  *grin*  At least it gives me plenty to write posts about!

We’re happy to confirm that there are at least three new characters being introduced in season 2 including:

Flora – Described as an Earth fairy like her cousin Terra, having an easy-going nature but hiding a dark secret. They are casting a Hispanic female for this role.

Of course they are; it’s their only hope of placating their fanbase!  But I’ve seen rumors that an actress named Fiona Palomo was considered and she’s a Mexican actress whose appearance is A)totally unlike cartoon Flora and B)totally white.  This is just a rumor and of course many actresses would be considered before one is chosen, but this suggests the casting director may actually be tone deaf enough to cast another white-looking person!  It strains belief, honestly... we’ll have to wait and see for sure!

Sebastian – Featuring in season 2 of World of Winx, Sebastian will be making his way over to the Netflix series seemingly. Described as a student with a brilliant mind but with questionable morals.

The gay dude from WoW with the murder museum in his basement?  Oh please, make his Fate version be all into traps like basically Fred from Scooby Doo Mystery Incorporated only gayer.

Also, “questionable morals” we’ve got Riven for that do we need another dude for it?

Grey – We weren’t able to find a reference to Grey (correct us if we’re wrong) from the original animated series. This character is set to be a transgender male described as a specialist with a secret (everyone is hiding secrets in season 2!). Furthermore, he’s set to have a relationship with Aisha in season 2 which he obtains with his “charismatic charms”.

“Greetings fellow teenagers! We know you like transgender people, so we’ll put one in our show!” --Brian Young, probably.

So he’ll be Nex, who has gray hair.  And “charismatic charms” again, we have Riven for that.  So we’re getting two more Rivens.  Much as I enjoy Freddy Thorpe’s Riven i don’t know that we need more of him.

A lot of characters with deep dark secrets.  That’s a lot of new plot to add when we’ve already got plenty to do with ditching Rosalind, busting Silva out of jail, Bloom figuring out her stuff, Stella dealing with her abusive mother, etc. The article says season two may have seven episodes instead of six but still, that’s not much time to tie everything up.  Does Fate hope to have a complete story arc by the end of season 2?  Are they already aiming for more seasons?  I suppose they sort of have to dream big, as creators of the thing, but it seems clear to me down here in the fandom that Fate got off to such a shaky start that it’s never going to go very far.  If I were Straffi I’d pull out of Fate and start building a live action movie that really is a Winx story based on the cartoon. 

I’ve also heard the names Ivy and Devin-- which may be leftovers from an earlier stage of development when writers were thinking of going with another earth fairy OC instead of going for Flora.  The season one rumors features a character named Jade who never turned up in the show so it’s clear they add and cut characters at several stages in the show’s creation.

The article has at least three “We want Dowling back!” comments. =)

[austarus]

Harry Wells x Reader Crisis of Infinite Wells (Part 5 of 5)

**A/N: The picture/edit/gif does not belong to me. 

*It’s finally over! This took multiple showers to get it right even if I had everything planned out and outlined. But goodness is it over. I’m possibly going to take a break for a few weeks since my summer uni work is now killing on top of medical scribe classes. Yeah, my mental health is really being pulverized this summer. Trying to learn how to drive on the highway to the city too since I’m moving to the city. But ugh, I just don’t want to do anything other than watch Tik Tok, make fics, read fics/books, and sleep ;-; Big thanks to @natsukitakama​ for translating all the French that happened with Sherloque and a big thanks to @mintchipcupcake​ for letting me know her view on neural frequencies for Harry. Thanks to @crazythoughtsandlove​, @sarah-i-khel​​, @countlesswells​, and @multiwells​ for supporting me. I could not have done it without you guys!

I hope everyone has enjoyed this series and went down the lane of feels. Please remember to comment and reblog, it helps us content creators so much so we can keep on creating.

Part 1    Part 2    Part 3    Part 4    

Word Count: 5732

“Nn,” a tired noise left your throat. Clearing said throat, you licked your dry lips as a yawn escaped you. Instinctively, you covered your mouth with the back of your hand. You languidly moved your limbs to cuddle into a pillow even further. Your phone laid beside you on the bed in silent mode. Breathing in gently, your senses registered a certain kind of musk that usually clung to a particular person. A dull ache echoed through your body as every organ began to wake up for the day. Your eyelids remained shut as a brisk of sunlight filtered through the blinds. Everything felt so foggy, but goodness was the rest well deserved. After all, you hadn’t been sleeping well once you found out that your idea had been perfectly sane and in the works. And it did work. You blinked a few times, giving up on going back to sleep. Another yawn left you. You were still in the clothes that you had worn yesterday, locks in a tangly mess. Adjusting your body to lay on your back, your mind recognized that you were indeed not in your room or in your home. You frowned as you gazed up at the ceiling. What the hell? How did I get in Harry’s room? I thought-

“Allen, I didn’t ask for your help.”

Harry! Perking your head up at the familiar roughly-toned voice, your body drifted to the side a bit as dizziness coursed within your being since you had bolted upright on the bed. You failed to recognize how your legs had been tangled in the sheets from your deep slumber and fell off the bed when you got up with haste. The cold concrete floor greeted you mockingly in comparison to the softness of the bed you were just on. Your body further protested when it absorbed the impact. Groaning, you shuffled off the floor on wobbly legs heading out of the room on socked feet. You didn’t care if you looked like a chaotic mess or that you were in your socks. Only one thought rang in your mind as you grew close to the frustrated voices. He’s here!

“You said you needed someone to watch your back and I was the only one available.”

“Yes, watch my back from the coms, Allen. From the Labs. Not someone to speed around the entire property. It was a delicate instance that I could have handled myself! And what do you know, you triggered most of the sensors and traps set.”

“You looked like you were in a bind!”

“Help me, Barry. Save me, I can’t handle a little reconnaissance without your speedster abilities. Not.”

“How many times have I told you not to touch my stuff?”

“What are you talking about, Cisco?”

“You played with my tech again! What is it up with you Wells and tampering with my things?!”

You walked in with hurried steps right as Cisco had his outburst; the haze of sleep had left you all together when you had rounded the corner. The boys stopped when you entered the Cortex abruptly out of breath. Your eyes scanned around, head moving from side to side. But you only saw Barry and Cisco and Nash as you seemed to be frozen in place. Your heart dropped in your chest at the absence of Harry, eyes sparkling as you had casted your gaze downward. Grueling thoughts had swirled through your mind as the growing whole of doubt further widened in your chest. The voice you had heard came from Nash, not Harry. Reality had picked you up and thrown you into Central City’s lake of cold water. Harry’s not here. He’s- I- He’s not coming… Your pursed your lips, whispering a little apology for barging in on the three’s argument. Nash moved his gaze to his gloves fiddling with it when he saw the sadness flicker through your eyes. With a somber expression, turned around on the spot and collided with a very solid body with a very sturdy chest. Instantly, arms encased your being at the collision, a deep voice cut through the silence. A voice that thrilled your insides.

“I finally caught you, my love.”

Swallowing thickly, you slowly looked up to see those gentle baby blues that rested behind black-clear frames. The dark-haired man cupped your face gingerly as you gathered the strength to speak. “Harry?”

“I’m back.”

A tear trickled down from your eyes, cascading down your flushing cheek, no longer wanting to be bound within your glassy eyes. Harry softly smiled down at you with his own glimmering eyes, his thumb wiped the tear that fell, but his touch caused more to fall. A whimper escaped you as you pressed your head into his chest, sobbing quietly in relief with your arms tightly holding him. The taller man took in a breath, fighting his own tears before he placed a kiss to your forehead. Harry whispered soothing words while rubbing your back as you cried into him. These past couple of weeks had been rough for everyone, but rougher on you and him. Barry and Cisco elbowed each other that the King and Queen of the Underworld have finally reunited and of course made bets on who knows what. Nash rolled his eyes at the two. Jesse stood be the door, watching her dad and you reunite. Her dorky dad and his sweet as a button girlfriend. The young speedster had a pack of tissues at the ready with a wide smile on her face. Tilting to the side, she waved at Barry and Cisco and Nash. Jesse looked oddly at Nash, observing him eye you and her dad for a moment before turning his gaze to meet her eyes. The other Wells doppelganger nodded at her, briefly seeing all the things and qualities that Harry would ramble about regarding his daughter. Nash’s heart gripped in his chest, but truthfully there was a glimpse of happiness for you. He was learning to be content with your happiness. The boys made eye contact with Harry, who only nodded at them as they decided that it would be best to leave you and Harry and Jesse alone. Barry sped them out of the Cortex.

Pulling away, you rubbed your puffy red eyes only to see a tear fall from Harry as he watched you. His eyes ran over every detail of you as if he had been seeing you for the first time in his life. You gripped his face with both hands and pulled him close. He rested his forehead against yours as you wiped his single tear. The both of you closed your eyes and just relished in each other’s presence. Breathing gently with each other and calming any doubts the two of you had. He was here and you were in his arms. The pent-up anxiety that had been increasing since the Crisis had finally burst.

“You’re here.”

“I’m here,” Harry nodded at your stumbling voice from all the crying. “I’m not going anywhere.” The two of you collected yourselves, a lovestruck look crossing your eyes.

Jesse held a pack of tissues up to you when you and her dad had pulled away. You sheepishly smiled at the young Wells. “I decided to drop by as well, can’t miss out on the Hades and Persephone reunion.” You giggled at her while whipping your tears and blowing your nose, knowing Cisco had essentially looped her into shipping you and Harry with those names. The speedster pulled you into a huge hug, giggling with you.  

“I missed you too Ms. Jesse Quick,” you gave her a squeeze. Harry couldn’t keep the smile off his face. Both his girls were with him. His daughter and the love of his life. His heart felt utterly in bliss.

“Thank you for bringing him back,” Jesse whispered, pulling away with a smile. You knew that look in her eyes, the same emotion she had held when she had initially found out what Devoe had done to Harry. How he used Harry as a guinea pig and lost himself as a result. You returned the smile, feeling Harry’s large hand find your smaller one and holding it firmly. Glancing down, you intertwined your fingers with his before looking up brightly at him. The three of you glanced at each other as a wave a serenity passed over you three before Jesse bid you farewell as she headed to the break room because of her grumbling stomach. Thanks to her increased metabolism from being a speedster she’s due for speedster protein bar that Cisco’s come up with.

Walking through the corridor, Jesse entered the break room with furrowed eyebrows as her green eyes landed on an unfamiliar person. The dark-haired Hispanic was typing away on the couch when she looked up to see the young speedster. Papers and articles were plopped beside the young adult.

“You’re Allegra, right?” Jesse quired, hands in her jacket pockets.

“Yeah, who-”

“Great, I’m Jesse Wells. You’re just the person I was looking for.” Allegra’s frown deepened but deemed that this was the Jesse Wells you had mentioned to her. Harry’s daughter. Two irreplaceable members of Team Flash. The UV meta figured that the speedster was no harm, especially since Jesse seemed to be around her own age. “We need to talk. I know this great bar we could go to.”

“Wait, what-”

Allegra wasn’t able to finish her sentence as Jesse had sped them away to a bar in a torrent of yellow-green lightning.

***

Harry had ushered you back to his room and away from prying eyes because he knew that if Cisco and Barry came around you and the scientist would not hear the end of it. Plus, as much as Harry was balanced now, he currently preferred to capture your full attention inside the bedroom rather than outside. Especially with Nash still around the labs.

The two of you found yourselves cuddling into each other on the bed. Harry’s head rested close to yours while you slipped off his glasses and kissed his nose before threading your fingers through his hair. The Wells doppelganger let out a content sigh at the simple gesture of affection, but one he deeply enjoyed, while shutting his eyes for the moment. His arms rested comfortably around your waist; your figure pressed close to his as if he was afraid you were an illusion that would escape him. He had already discarded his black jacket, leaving him just in his classic black short sleeve shirt and dark wash jeans. Reopening his baby blue eyes, Harry plucked his glasses out of your hand to twist his body over to the side and tossing them onto the counter. Turning fully to you with a lovestruck smile and half-lidded eyes, he slowly leaned in with every intention of kissing you till your lips were red and swollen.

“Wait you can’t kiss me yet!” You moved your head back slightly to which Harry frowned irritably because he’s been holding back from kissing you silly in the Cortex. … Amongst doing other shamelessly pleasurable things to show you just how much he missed you.

“Why not?”

You simply took out the vanilla bean flavored chapstick from your pocket and apply it to your lips. Harry watched you smack them a few times and wondered if you were either tempting him even more or testing his patience or both. “Now you can kiss me.” Harry had quirked an amused eyebrow at you. “What? I wanted it to be perfect. Plus, you know I bite my lips when I get too wori-” You pouted at your boyfriend, who instantly shut you up with needy kiss. Without words, the kiss showed you just how much he had missed you and that his patience was running thin.

Your brain froze for a second before responding. His lips smacked against yours before Harry pushed his tongue into your mouth, yearning for your taste. You gasped, fighting him for a bit before giving in. His fingers had crawled up under your shirt, rubbing soothing circles on the skin. Your hands had rested on his face, pulling him impossibly closer as the smooches continued to heat up. The air in the room felt as if on fire but you wouldn’t have it any other way. Nipping on his bottom lip, you kissed Harry with just enough passion as your body moved to lay on top of his. His hands retreated from under your shirt to fold themselves on your lower back. Your hips pressed down against his own, feeling every part of his body meld with yours. Ragged breathes left the both of you as you continued to make out, biting and licking and sucking at each other. Harry’s hand snuck down to smack your ass causing a yelp to fall off your lips. You pulled away for air, your lungs exhausted and your head was spinning. You were met with a cheeky smirk while you pouted at your boyfriend with a frown. He licked his lips wickedly once more before leaning up to kiss your swollen lips while you adorned a flushed expression. A sight he took great pleasure in seeing on your face. And only he can elicit that kind of reaction from you. His lips tingled delightfully from the sweet chapstick on your lips.

“When did you even get here?” You asked once you regained control of your breathing, fixing your hair to the side as the two of you laid back. Harry resting on his back while your snuggled beside him, your head pressed to his chest as you listened to his racing heartbeat. You shifted your gaze to eye him with one hand against his chiseled chest. Harry sighed, collected his thoughts before tucking a piece of stray hair behind your ear as he spoke up. His arm was firmly wrapped around you.

“Last night. Jesse and I found you asleep on Sherloque’s lap.”

“How-…What’s with look?”

“What look? I don’t have a look.” Harry spoke quickly as if he’d been caught red-handed.

“Harry, yes you do! You have a look for almost everything. Everyone does.” You teased him a bit before turning to the more serious thoughts that had kept you up. And it showed. Harry can see it clear as day on your face. You had not been sleeping well without him. He couldn’t sleep either without you. “Anyway, what took you so long?”

“I- We… When I woke up Jesse had been monitoring my vitals, keeping me hooking up to a life support system. She was crying, wouldn’t let me go and saying how she was scared to death. Scared that she lost me for a second time. Every single day she would check on my vitals and try to talk to me. Jesse wouldn’t leave my side, going over all my vitals as my consciousness fully set into my body. We had collaborated everything, but…”

“But?”

“I was feeling weak when she took me off the life support. So, she quickly synthesized a blood sample to do a blood transfusion, just like you showed her, to flush out anything that had been hiding in my body from the Crisis and the neural separation. My vitals and cells returned to normal. It worked fast; I won’t deny that. Speedster blood and everything. Once I was feeling moderately better, we tried the last session.” Harry pointed to his head with a free hand, baby blue eyes twinkling with such knowledge and intellect that was rightfully his. “I’ve got it all back. Everything.”

You grinned up at him, “I told you, if anything Jesse would be the one to figure it out.”

“My pride and joy.”

“So, what went wrong? I-I mean, why didn’t it work the first time 2 years ago.”

“Well, Jesse had profusely voiced her irritation that Marlize had done a sloppy job after she looking over the blueprints and all the notes, but Marlize had also neglected the fact that I’m from another Earth- or in this case dimension. My neural frequency is at a different interval in comparison to everyone on Earth-1. A unique signature for each Earth, if you will. That’s why I was able to retain basic functions, but not reach my full potential regarding intelligence and neuron firing. And it’s a good think the dark matter didn’t leave any neural scars or that could have been a complication since the brain doesn’t do well with regeneration.”

“Look at you talking all science-y again. It worked; Jesse fixed you.”

Harry pulled up one of your hands, kissing the knuckles. “You’re the one that figured out how to bring me back. Back to my daughter, back to you, back to my family.”

You dropped your gaze, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks from his intense and adoring gaze. A bashful smile returning to your lips as your eyes met his. “I told you so.” You pressed your lips against him in triumph. Harry hummed against your lips before you pulled away.

“You’re not going to let it go, are you?”

“Nope,” you deadpanned with a cheeky grin. “Now I can admire you while you ramble on about physics and math that I’m totally clueless to and tend to tune out just to hear your voice.”

“Wait, you don’t actually listen to me explaining things?”

“… A little.” You sheepishly responded to which Harry retaliated by running his fingers over your sides. Your fiendish sides that always betrayed you. A giggled bubbled from your throat. “Harry, don’t you-” But the scientist paid no mind to you as he continued his carefully planned assault on your sides. Snorts and little laughs flood out of your lips as cringed and attempted to move your body away from his hands. A toothy grin crossed his features at your shrieks, his fingers ran over every ticklish area on you. Flopping onto your back, Harry’s tickle attack subsided as his heart flipped many times over. He watched your chest rise and fall as your giggles gradually quieted. You gazed up at him with stars in your eyes, his own were full of adoration and love but… with a certain other emotion hidden behind us. A thought struck you.

“By the way, where’s Sherloque?”

“Babe, he left. Said he had some business to take care of on his Earth- well, dimension actually.”

“Oh, I hope everything’s ok on his end. …I heard about Renee and everything.”

“He’ll be fine. Sherloque just needs his mind to mull over a few things.”

“I hope he finds what he’s looking for…” you whispered, to which Harry oddly looked at you, wondering if you knew, before the look behind his eyes shifted. You caught onto the sudden, but subtle change.

A particular glint sparkled in Harry’s eyes as you trailed off, one that had you hypnotized. One that you knew all too well as he towered over you on the bed. Those lust-filled eyes that pulled you in like a riptide. Harry licked his lips, leaning down with half-lidded eyes. Then a pesky thought hit you causing you to push against his leaning chest which had Harry inwardly grumbling.

“Wait, Harry, I haven’t washed up!”

“I figured, I had Jesse go out and buy you a few things. Those skin care products and face wash you idolize so much. She probably set them in the bathroom already.”

“The avocado and cucumber facewash? And the hydrating facial cleansers? With the pomegranate-berry face cream?”

Harry nodded, but kept you firmly beneath him, “If you can stand to hug me after I came back from Gorilla City- after all the shit they did and threw at me, then I think I can stand being around you in the clothes you’ve worn from yesterday and unfreshened up.”

“Yeah, not your best moments.” You teased him and slithered from underneath his grasp, hopping off the bed.

“Hey!”

He watched you step into the bathroom. God, I love you. Harry went on his phone, staring at the picture you and he took on New Year’s as the water ran in the bathroom. Maybe now wouldn’t be the best time no matter how many times Jesse’s been pestering me about it. Coming back, you dove right into his side and cuddled him close with a jubilee smile on your face. Harry swears his heart melted for the 100th time that day.

“If you want to… do stuff later, we’d have to do that back at my apartment after I shower and everything,” you traced patterns with your finger over his chest. “And so, no one interrupts and…. Yeah…”

“Definitely want to ‘do stuff’ later.” You blushed at his wink and how he wiggled his eyebrows. Babe, you’re going to need to shower after that too. Leaning in Harry caught your ear between his teeth before whispering all the dirty things and positions he wants to put you in. “I’m going to make sure my name is the only thing you remember tomorrow morning, my sweet, sweet Persephone.” Covering your face, you resisted the urge to scream in frustration at this man’s level of teasing. Knowing he had impeccable patience for the nightly activities to come later. Harry knew the exact effect he had on you, how he can make your body scream in ecstasy as he’d show you just how capable he is in loving you. Blow out a puff of air, you calmed yourself and hormones. Your thirsty side would need to wait until you two went home.

“Harry?”

“Hm?” He blinked out of his thoughts and gave you a quizzical look.

“Do me a favor and flex.”

Harry blinked at you for a moment before sitting up and flexing. You won’t deny that your thirsty thoughts took over for a bit again when you reached up to run your fingers over the toned muscles. Before you could do anything else Harry’s strong arms wrapped around you as he snuggled his head into your chest. Soft. Your cheeks turned a rosy color as you felt him kiss your exposed chest from all the rolling around in bed.

“I don’t think I’m needed anywhere else today,” you mused, ruffling his chaotically messy locks. He breathed you in like a man taking a huge breath of air before diving into the depths of water.

“Perfect, because for the record, I wasn’t going to let you out of my arms all day.”

You chuckled and kissed his forehead, “Neither will I.” Shutting your eyes, the both of you slowly drifted off in each other’s embrace.

***

Sherloque sighed to himself as he stepped out of the dimensional portal into his home. The detective adjusted his coat around him. It was cold and empty again, but at least he had arrived safely again. Everything was still in place. His mind could not help, but to wander before he left you in the hands of Harry and his daughter.

(Flashback)

“Eh bien il était temps,” Sherloque remarked with a confident smirk. Harry and Jesse strolled closer to the detective with Harry rolling his eyes at him. Sherloque’s eyes landed onto Jesse, who only smiled at him politely. Jesse’s dealt with HR before so she likes to think she can handle another of her father’s doppelgangers. But she won’t lie, she’s a bit curious on what her doppelgangers are like. “You must be Jesse Quick.”

“That I am, nice to meet you…”

“Sherloque. And likewise, your father ‘as talked so much about you. ‘ave-” Her father had sent the detective a hard and threatening look, meaning that Sherloque should likely think twice before deciding to psychoanalyze and deduce Jesse. The Wells doppelganger chose his next words carefully, “-’ow was it?”

“I got it all back, minor headaches, but nothing else out of the ordinary,” Harry shrugged, knowing what Sherloque had been referring to and rubbed his temple as his eyes fell to your slumbering form. Your chest rose and fell with each relaxed breath.

“Right, well it was nice meeting you, Sherlock,” Jesse unfurled her arms, mentally plotting something vengeful.

“Sherloque, it’s French.”

“Yeah, cool, whatever,” She shrugged, not really caring before speeding off to scare Team Flash in their respective homes that she’s back. Especially Cisco and Barry, who Harry’s told her to get back at them good.

“She’s finally asleep.” Harry moves to pick you up from the couch and Sherloque’s lap. His arm hooked under your legs while the other held you around your lower back. Your head lulled into Harry’s neck, unconsciously breathing in his scent. He had already decided that a bed would be much more comfortable than a couch.

“You should zhank Nash for zhat,” Sherloque stood up, following the Harry to leave the Speed lab. The chaotically dark-haired Wells spared his counterpart a glance as a snort left his lips. “After all he’s zhe one zhat slipped a sleeping agent into ‘er drink. I called it drugging, ‘e ‘ad opposing zhoughts to zhat, as you can imagine.”

Harry remained silent, knowing he would have to thank Nash eventually for watching out for you these past couple of weeks in his absence. Especially when you had been sacrificing every moment of sleep to ensure everything had gone according to plan. Entering the familiar layout of his old room, Harry gently placed you on the bed and pulled up the thick blankets to keep you warm. Your boyfriend took a seat beside you, but across your sleeping form, leaning down to kiss the crown of your head. Sherloque smiled fondly at you and his doppelganger as he stood beside the end of the bed. Tout comme Hades et Perséphone des mythes grecs.

“Will you be sticking around? We can use all the help we can get with Bloodwork and Eva,” Harry asked, turning his head to the detective, a hand was in his lap while the other had linked his pinky with your own.

Sherloque blew a puff of air, his eyes glancing around before looking to you and Harry. He pressed his lips into a hard line before speaking up, “Actually, I must return ‘ome, zhere are… a few zhings zhat I need to take care of. Somezhing zhat your petit fleur ‘ad said to me.”

Harry raised an eyebrow but left it alone, it had been a matter between you and Sherloque. The two nodded before Sherloque used his extrapolator to leave Earth-Prime, throwing once last look to this Earth’s ironic ‘reincarnation’ of Persephone and Hades.

(End Flashback)

Sherloque only tipped his head lower before your words echoing in his already distracted mind as his feet carried him out of his home and to his Earth’s Central City’s precinct. The rain lightly cascaded down onto the city, a rough breeze howling past.

-“You deserve better. You really do, Sherloque. Love will find you.”

“Easy for you to say.” Sherloque snorted, blowing on his tea.

“Hey, head up,” You found yourself sitting beside the now cynical man as you wrapped your arms around him in a comforting hug. “It could even literally run right into you one day when you least expect it.”-

Il est facile pour vous de dire, petite fleur. Sherloque sighed. Je souhaite secrètement qu’il avait été avec vous. Quelles sont les chances que je puisse rencontrer un bel esprit comme vous dans ma dimension?Sur ma terre?

The detective was relieved that the Earth-1 Renee had had mercy on his being and not demanded money from the detective, instead wishing to go back and to never see him again. Typical, yet unlike his other ex-wives that have been milking him for any penny that he owns. Why he always chased after the same women was always a question that his mind and heart clashed with his desires on it. Sherloque’s eyes blurred slightly then refocused, he was still lost in his mind as his feet picked up the pace. His shoes tapped against the cold, wet surface of the concrete path. The taller man quickly collided with a shorter body, his chest lightly stung from the impact as he took a step back and ready to scold the other person. Sherloque’s eyes widened as he felt his world stop. Lo and behold your doppelganger had crashed right into him. The detective blinked a few times, speechless.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” You picked up his fallen hat, patting off the water that had gotten onto it from its fall into a shallow puddle. You rambled, “I can’t believe I did that. I’m such a ditz, I promise- If only I was paying more attention to where I was walking and not my phone- and honestly I can be really oblivious-”

Sherloque processed only half of the words that came out of your mouth while his mind went into its deductive phase. Your eyes were red and puffy from crying, hair knotted, possibly from rushing to work this morning. The detective faintly smelled dimethyl disulfide, ketones, toluene, and other chemical compounds that are used on cadavers. You worked with dead organisms, particularly humans. He deduced that your rumpled lab coat that stained with old blood and chemical burns and sagged shoulders from the weight of your bag. You had been fired from a research facility belonging to a medical institute. Picking up on the clues, you had been framed. A scapegoat to the recently missing human cadavers from your long nights at the labs. Long nights spent on carefully analyzing tissues and cells that have not yet degenerated. A means to collecting and keeping those samples viable for regeneration of the spine, brain, and heart. Organs that scarcely regenerate themselves after scarring or attack from autoimmune diseases.

“-What’s your name?”

“(Y/N) (L/N), I’m a biomedical scientist. I uh- sorry, I don’t know any French, I think that was it?”

“Oui, it was.”

Peut-être... L’amour n’a pas besoin d’être avec une Renée.Peut-être qu’il peut venir de quelqu’un d’autre- quelqu’un de précieux qui peut rendre la pareille à l’amour que j’aspire.Cela peut prendre soin de moi comme je le ferais pour eux. Your doppelganger stood worriedly in front of him. For some reason, the dark-haired Frenchman look vaguely familiar. Sherloque saw that there was nothing but kind intentions behind those glimmering eyes. A spark of light illuminated within your doppelganger’s eyes when yours met his. The similarities between your Earth-Prime self and the one that stood in front of him were impeccable, as were the differences… He could read your personality, little details that indicate the kind of person that you are. But he voiced none of his deductions. It was then that Sherloque had made his decision.

The tall Frenchman picked up the umbrella you had dropped from the force of the collision. He ensured that it was not broken before handing it to you. Taking his fedora, Sherloque smiled keenly at you as he gestured with his head for you to follow. “Come along, petit fleur, I require your expertise for a crucial case. Lives depend on it.”

“But I’m-”

“Currently free since you’re now out of work judging by your sullen eyes. Yet zhey twinkle wizh zhe desire for somezhing… more than the basic lab life.”

You directed your gaze back up at him with guilty, but curious eyes at his deduction. “That’s amazing, how…?”

Sherloque tilted his head at you before he held a hand out to you. For some odd reason Sherloque felt that this time would be different. Things would be different. The way you made his heart thrum warmly in his chest. C’est ce que ressentent Nash, Wolfgang et Harry? Quand vous les regardez avec ces yeux pétillants d’intellect et de générosité? “Come, our clients await.” He watched you hesitate before wordlessly setting your hand in his with curiosity filling your mind. The detective observed you as he placed a gentle kiss on your knuckles then tugged you along with him.

L’amour est une chose mystérieuse. La petite fleur pour laquelle j’avais une étincelle de sentiments avant d’être aveuglée par une autre Renée... Cette fois, je serai prudent avec mon cœur.Cette fois, j’apprendrai à aimer cette petite fleur qui m’a déjà intrigué.Cette fois, je vais poursuivre le bonheur et le changement avec un autre qui n’est pas Renée.Cette fois sera différente

French Translation:

Tout comme Hades et Perséphone des mythes grecs - Just like Hades and Persephone from the Greek myths

Il est facile pour vous de dire, petite fleur - It is easy for you to say, little flower -

Je souhaite secrètement qu’il avait été avec vous. Quelles sont les chances que je puisse rencontrer un bel esprit comme vous dans ma dimension?Sur ma terre? - I secretly wish that it had been with you. What are the chances that I can meet a beautiful spirit such as you in my dimension? On my Earth?

Peut-être... L’amour n’a pas besoin d’être avec une Renée.Peut-être qu’il peut venir de quelqu’un d’autre- quelqu’un de précieux qui peut rendre la pareille à l’amour que j’aspire.Cela peut prendre soin de moi comme je le ferais pour eux. - Maybe… Love doesn’t have to be with a Renee. Maybe it can come from someone else- someone precious that can reciprocate the love that I yearn for. That can take care of me as I would for them

C’est ce que ressentent Nash, Wolfgang et Harry? Quand vous les regardez avec ces yeux pétillants d’intellect et de générosité? - Is this what Nash and Wolfgang and Harry feel? When you look up at them with those sparkling eyes of intellect and generosity?

L’amour est une chose mystérieuse. La petite fleur pour laquelle j’avais une étincelle de sentiments avant d’être aveuglée par une autre Renée... Cette fois, je serai prudent avec mon cœur.Cette fois, j’apprendrai à aimer cette petite fleur qui m’a déjà intrigué.Cette fois, je vais poursuivre le bonheur et le changement avec un autre qui n’est pas Renée.Cette fois sera différente - Love is a mysterious thing. The little flower that I had a spark of feelings for before being blinded by another Renee… This time, I will be careful with my heart. This time, I will learn how to love this little flower who has already intrigued me. This time, I will pursue happiness and change with another that is not Renee. This time will be different.

[wehavethoughts]

Jingle Jangle Review!

Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey David E. Talbert (2020) Netflix Original Movie Fantasy, Holiday, Musical, Children’s Movie

Rating: 5/5 Waves

“I think it’s time for a new story.” – Journey

This review CONTAINS spoilers for Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey

Summary: Jeronicus Jangle is a genius toymaker who has everything he’s ever wanted until betrayal and tragedy strike and rip away his magic and inspiration. Jingle Jangle follows his journey with his bright, spunky granddaughter to finding his way out of darkness and towards family, love and inspiration.

No content warnings apply for Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey

Last year was a mess and 2021 is already on thin ice, but one of the best things to happen to me this season was my girlfriend sitting me down and convincing me to watch Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey. While the trailer looked fun, especially since it was a musical Christmas story featuring a primarily black cast, I hadn’t prioritized watching it. I tend to feel that everything has already been made when it comes to Christmas movies and I don’t want or need another retelling of the same stories. If I need a bump of Christmas spirit around the holidays, I indulge in a classic and move on. Fortunately for me, she wanted to watch it and we needed a Christmas Eve movie.

I loved so much about this movie that I could write tens of thousands of words singing its praises, but I wouldn’t do that to you, so I will narrow my praises to the most important parts of this movie to me. At the top of the list is just how good this movie looks.

Jingle Jangle is one of the most visually appealing movies I’ve ever seen. From the set to the costumes to the choreography, every single shot of this movie was pleasing to the eye. The clothing was sharp and colorful in a way that I expected to get on my nerves, but it ended up stunning. Costume designer Michael Wilkinson described the fashion as “Afro Victorian”. The characters’ hairstyles are another part of the costuming that stood out. They were creative and fun while also adding dimension to the characters’ looks. And let me just take a minute to personally thank the creators of Jingle Jangle for allowing all of these black characters to have natural hair. I have never seen that in a movie and it almost made me cry. Both the clothing and the hairstyles mirrored the characters’ arcs and added depth to the narrative.

The beauty of this movie can mostly be attributed to its fabulous designers, but I also want to point out that everything looked and felt fabulously expensive. I could not find the budget of Jingle Jangle in USD, but with every set piece, CGI shot, song and outfit you could tell that someone who loved this project spent a whole lot of money on it. It is refreshing to see a story like this getting the financial backing to do it properly.

The visuals were so stunning, in fact, that even if the actual story had been terrible, I would still have been happy to just sit and watch it on mute. Fortunately, Jingle Jangle’s story was phenomenal; heartwarming and inspiring with just enough humor to keep it light without feeling overly juvenile. It also had such meaningful emotional themes that I cried at least three times (in a good way).

The emotional core of this movie is the relationship between Jeronicus and his granddaughter Journey. Jeronicus is a grumpy, disillusioned inventor who abandoned his aspirations after achieving his dreams lead to nothing but betrayal and heartache. Journey is a bright, talented child who wants to learn from her brilliant grandfather, but she realizes she has to reignite his belief in himself first. The story centers around belief in the impossible, like most Christmas stories, but instead of asking the audience to believe in something like Santa Claus, Jingle Jangle reminds the audience to believe in themselves and their own abilities. Personally, I’ve never felt more inspired than when a small child belted about how “The square root of impossible is me!” The story digs into how depression can destroy a person’s creativity and inspiration and sometimes what we need is other people believing in us so we can be reminded to believe in ourselves.

My whole deal is reviewing fantasy though, so I feel like I should mention magic. Like most things in the movie it is very pretty to look at. When Jeronicus and Journey use their magic it is glittery, dazzling and very obviously a metaphor for imagination and creativity. Personally, these characters could have probably just have been very smart, but having a visual to see them thinking in new and exciting ways was nice. Math-but-its-glowing as a magic system is not something I’ve seen much of recently, but I know just enough math words to delight in what is coming out of these character’s mouths when they talk about their inventions. This might be a difficult movie for haters of math or people who study it for a living. If hearing characters say things like, “Belief! It collapsed the wave function.” and “Take the circumference of spectacular, divided by the second derivative of sensational…” is a deal breaker for you, then maybe skip this movie.

Also, I should note that this movie is a musical. This came as a surprise to us the first time we watched it, but luckily we love musicals. The first time the music swelled and Jeronicus started singing we were swept away by the magic of the moment, delightfully surprised and in awe of the musical talent. Every single song in this movie is energetic, fun and refreshingly Black. Director David E. Talbert said that he was inspired by southern soul and gospel music as well as Afrobeat and other primarily black genres. The mix of inspiration creates joyful and fresh new songs for the holiday season.

As a whole this movie got my highest rating because the things I love about it outweigh the flaws. That being said, there are a couple pieces of the story that either didn’t make sense or it feels like they did not think all the way through. First of all, the main conflict revolves around the villain Don Juan, a toy matador who has been given sentience through Jeronicus’s miraculous inventions, not wanting to be mass produced. While the story tries to convince us that the conflict revolves around Don Juan’s narcissism, if you think about this plot point too hard you realize that our protagonist plans to mass produce and sell his creations that are clearly alive and intelligent. Obviously the movie doesn’t dig into the ethics of this, since Don Juan is more concerned about not being one-of-a-kind rather than worried that he is going to be bought and sold as a commodity, but it is a concerning angle that implies some very uncomfortable things about this universe.

Another piece that I found falls apart when you think about it too hard is the framing of the story within a story. Jingle Jangle is told a bedtime story being read by a grandmother to her grandchild (similar to the Princess Bride). The first scenes introduce us to a couple of cute kids who ask their grandmother for a Christmas story and in opening the book we get some spectacular CGI and animation to introduce us to Jeronicus’s world. While there is nothing inherently wrong with this method of storytelling, I found it to be unnecessary since the children listening to the story and the grandmother don’t add much as independent characters. Unfortunately, the story seemed to feel the need to justify these characters’ existence and so in a big reveal at the end we discover that the grandmother is Journey, Jeronicus’s granddaughter.

While seeing Journey with her grandchildren is cute, it leads to questions that I personally did not need to have at the end of this otherwise tied up narrative. For example, the children seem to have never heard of Jeronicus Jangle, Don Juan or Buddy 3000 (another important toy character), yet we are meant to believe that Jeronicus’s story happened in the universe that the children live in? Why wouldn’t they know stories about their rich and famous great-great-grandfather? Why had they never heard of Jeronicus Jangle when it is implied that the toys they have grown up with would have been his or his family’s inventions? By making the children related to the people in the story, the writers distracted me from Jeronicus and Journey whose story is much more interesting and heartwarming. Jingle Jangle is a movie that asks me to think and reflect, so I don’t feel bad poking holes in the story, but I don’t love that they left me hanging with all these questions.  

Additionally, there are also some things that I wish the writers hadn’t included in the movie at all. For example, they fridged Jeronicus’s wife almost immediately which was completely unnecessary and I hated to see that in a movie that got so many other things right. Also, having the only obviously Hispanic character (Don Juan Diego) be the villain in such a cartoon-y way left a bad taste in my mouth.

But Jingle Jangle still got my highest rating because as the sum of its parts, it was a fantastic story and I am so glad I got the chance to watch it. My very favorite part of this movie that has stuck with me even weeks after my first viewing is the relationship between Jeronicus and his family. There are sections of this movie where Jeronicus falls into the stereotypical absentee black father trope, but this story allows his character space to talk about what he did wrong, how he is hurting and Jeronicus learns to do better which is so important. I love the current trend in movies where parents apologize to their children because that can be such a healing experience and Jingle Jangle gives us that, but additionally, it makes the parent work for it and prove to their child that they are healing themselves. It offers hope to children struggling through painful situations like this and give parents an example of how they might be able to fix what they broke.

Overall, Jingle Jangle left me with a feeling of joy and contentment while inspiring me to remember what I used to love and rethink my self-imposed limits. The core message of this movie is a reminder that sometimes our lack of belief in our own skills is enough to stop us from achieving our dreams. Jingle Jangle reminds us to believe in our own capacity and lift each other up even when times are difficult. I don’t know if this movie will become a classic in the general consciousness, but it will certainly become a tradition in my family.

~TideMod

[sophielovesbooks]

Sophie’s Queer YA Rec List

Hi everyone! :) I’m back with another list of book recommendations! Yes, two of the books on here cross-feature on my Dark Academia Rec List, but here, the focus is different.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy my YA LGBTQ+ Rec List!

Her Royal Highness (Rachel Hawkins)

Listen, we’re starting off strong, because this one is an absolute GEM. American girl goes abroad to a fancy boarding school in Scotland. Also, she’s bi, her roommate is the princess of Scotland and the cutest haters-to-lovers situation ensues!! Read if you like fluffier reads, if you’ve ever been on a year abroad, if you’ve ever wanted to go on a year abroad, if you love Scotland or if you’re a girl who likes pretty girls! <3 (Note: This is the sequel to “Royals”, but I didn’t read that one either and you 100% don’t need to in order to understand this one.)

As I Descended (Robin Talley)

Okay, now this one is a lot darker. It’s a queer Macbeth retelling, which is a pretty amazing concept in itself. Also set at a fancy boarding school, but in Virginia. The main girls are a closeted power couple who more or less succumb to the darkness in their strive for even more power. This book is super diverse with Hispanic characters, wlw, mlm and one of the main two girls being disabled (though some people have criticised the way she was written). Read if you want a spooky story, if you love boarding school settings or if you love Shakespeare retellings!

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe (Benjamin Alire Sáenz)

This book is a classic of the queer coming-of-age genre, and it reads like one, too! The style is fairly simple, which may take some getting used to, but the author nailed the narrator’s voice, the story is meaningful, the characters feel complex and real and Ari’s fight to accept himself for who he is will break your heart! Set in the 1980s in El Paso, Texas. The two main boys are both Mexican American. And for reasons I can’t exactly put my finger on, this read like a modern-day Catcher in the Rye! Read this book if you want boys fighting to accept the fact that they love boys and complex family dynamics!

If I Was Your Girl (Meredith Russo)

Can ONLY recommend this one! The main character is a trans girl who goes to live with her dad after a traumatic event. At her new school, all she wants is to blend in, but she ends up suddenly popular for the first time in her life and dating a cute boy! This book was definitely fluffy at times, but still dealt with the darker aspects of being trans in this world (trigger warning for depression, dysphoria, a suicide attempt!) Read if, like me, you’re a cis person looking to get a better idea of what it’s like to be trans or if you’re trans and want to see yourself represented! The author is a trans woman herself and the book ends with a really emotional and thoughtful author’s note (that, yes, made me cry).

You Know Me Well (David Levithan & Nina LaCour)

Out of the books on this list, this one focuses the most on LGBTQ+ themes. It’s literally set in San Francisco during Pride Week, and it’s about a gay girl who is madly in love with another girl, but self-sabotages at every turn, and a gay boy, who is madly in love with his best friend, who fools around with him occasionally but doesn’t love him back. One thing that bothered me a bit was the insta-friendship between the two main characters, but I’m here for the gay-lesbian solidarity, and I thought the wlw romance was so cute! Read for a slightly fluffier dual-perspective book with strong LBGTQ+ and coming-of-age themes and a central friendship!

We Are Okay (Nina LaCour)

Oh God, this one. Read only if you are ready to be emotionally destroyed! The main character grew up with her grandfather, and after losing him, too, she feels completely alone. Set during Christmas break of her first semester of college, which she spends on campus in New York. Alone! Until her friend/lover comes to visit and emotionally reconnect with her. Hauntingly and lyrically written, this book is an absolute beauty that had me in literal tears and made my heart hurt. Can only recommend!

People Like Us (Dana Meele)

This one cross-features on my Dark Academia rec list, because it’s set at yet another elite boarding school (yes, this is my thing) and begins with a murder. The wlw themes in this came as a very pleasant surprise! Read if you’re looking for more of a mystery thriller that still includes wlw, but not as the main focus. Personally, I had certain issues with the plot, but the book was still a very engaging, quick and fun read!

Radio Silence (Alice Oseman)

ONE OF MY FAVOURITE BOOKS OF ALL TIME! The main character is Frances, a biracial, bisexual girl whose main goal in life is getting into Cambridge. Her friends see her as nothing but a study machine, but secretly, Frances is the biggest fangirl and draws fanart for a podcast called “Universe City”. The book is all about her close friendship with Aled, who turns out to be the podcast’s creator, academic pressure and figuring out what actually matters to you in life. I connected strongly with the themes of working so hard toward certain goals and not being seen by your friends for who you really are. Read if you want the most adorable platonic friendship EVER (between a bi girl and a demisexual guy), internet culture being represented accurately, wlw and mlm and an incredibly relatable main character!

Autoboyography (Christina Lauren)

Tanner is bi and was happy and out when his family still lived in California, but is forced back into the closet, basically for safety, when his family moved to Provo, Utah, where there are more Mormons than non-Mormons. His best friend Autumn convinces him to sign up for a very special class with her in their final year of high school, where the idea is that every student writes a novel. This is where Tanner meets Sebastian and falls head-over-heels! The problem? Sebastian is Mormon and not allowed to be with another boy. Even worse? He’s the bishop’s son! Read this one for two adorable boys actually going through something incredibly hard together and breaking your heart in the process! What I loved about this was that religion was shown in its full complexity, the good and the bad, and Sebastian’s struggle was so realistic! Also, this love story was much more high stakes than the usual “I’m sure he doesn’t like me back!” non-issue and it really drew me in!

I Was Born For This (Alice Oseman)

Another Oseman book!! (Spoiler alert: It’s also very good!) Told in dual perspective. The first one is Fereshteh, who tends to go by the English translation of her name: Angel. The biggest source of joy in her life is the popular boy band “The Ark”, and she plans to go to London to finally meet her best online friend in person, then go to an Ark concert together with her. The second perspective is Jimmy, a trans boy and one of the three members of the band. Things definitely don’t go as planned that week in London, Angel and Jimmy actually meet, chaos ensues. Read this if you’re looking for a fandom-based story that just gets internet culture and also has a very diverse set of characters! But be prepared for this to actually become very dark and intensely emotional at times! (The characters, especially Jimmy, were struggling more mental-health-wise than I had expected, and it wasn’t always easy to read, so be safe, everybody!)

These are the ones I’ve read so far, but don’t worry, I’ll update this list soon with many more! Already on my TBR (and in some cases even already on my shelves!) are These Witches Don’t Burn, Let’s Talk About Love (asexual main character!!), Tash Hearts Tolstoy (another asexual main character!) and I Wish You All the Best (non-binary rep!!!)

[vaingloriosa]

If it's not too much of a bother can I ask what s/e//lfships-in-sp/a//nish did? I remember seeing her art around when I was into DBH for a bit. (Emphasis on was)

first off, congrats on getting off that dbh juice! very proud of you for leaving that part of your life behind. love that for u!!

i’ve actually been meaning to make a post like this. in order to fully answer your question, there has to be a little bit of vulnerability on my part. it’s something that has taken me awhile to process and heal (i’ve only talked to a handful of people about this) from but i am at a point where i think i am ready to talk about it. please note that i am only answering this for y’all to know the truth; this is not me trying to stir the pot and cause any drama. if you still follow her, i am not the all-knowing moral authority to tell you to stop following her but what i will say is to hear me out and reconsider who you give your support to.

there might be some things that i am missing because i don’t like remembering any of this but i will try my best. i will not be using any names in order to protect these people’s identities, even if some of these people did hurt me. again, i am not here to callout anybody, i am not here to say “officer! this person right here!” because this is not what this is all about. i am only here to give you my experience with SSIS (her username for short). also, i do not have screenshots, i deleted the server, and there is no evidence to support me. i didn’t want to keep such baggage around and wanted to just move on...and i hope you can trust me with what i am about to say.

SSIS and i were like two peas in a pod. when we found one another in the dbh fandom, i looked up to her. i thought she was one of the greatest artists in dbh and i felt so intimated by her. soon, i think she was the one contacted me and from there, it was like an instant click. we got to talking and it felt like we were friends for a long time. slowly, in private messages, SSIS and i were often vulnerable with one another. i talked about the things i have to face as a latina woman, and she talked about her own struggles. i thought i was being open and honest with another woman of color but it wasn’t until way later that i found out that she is a white woman. that is something to keep in mind as we go further down the line.

there were some things that she said about other people that felt like she was trying to persuade me from keeping my distance from. i will not name names of these blogs but they were also fairly popular in the dbh fandom and it felt strange the way she got so angry and heated over people i called my friends. sadly, i was influenced by her comments because i started to internalize her words and became weary of these people since she said that they, too, were secretly talking about her and had their own clique. this is something that has taken a lot to unlearn because words can hold a lot of weight. this really should’ve been my first warning, a red flag, but i kept being friends with SSIS because, well, i trusted her and i considered her a good friend of mine. i wanted to defend her honor, i wanted to stick up for her as she did for me. i thought she was on my side as i was hers.

then i created a server for my mutuals and followers.

things were going great, everyone was getting along, we were all making inside jokes, and just supporting one another. slowly, there were events that started to unfold that truly revealed the true nature of who SSIS is as a person. it started out with when there started to be an inner circle within my server. it was SSIS, three other dbh content creators, and another reader of mine. now, i loved that they slowly started to become really good friends with another. however, it slowly started to feel like they were becoming like an exclusive club where SSIS became the head person of the group. i had my suspicions confirmed when i saw that they created their own personal server which, again, it’s okay to make your own server when you have your own friends. but the thing is...they felt withdrawn from the rest of the group and me. it’s like they tried to distance themselves away from me and me only. now there’s another part that i really...don’t like talking about. this part...it’s something that i never fully...grasped. whenever i think about it, it makes me sick to my stomach. the one person that was a reader of mine is a minor and these four adults friended this minor. again, as long as you are respectful with one another, it’s okay to have a friendship. however, this friendship became a bit inappropriate when they were sharing NSFW content with the minor in the server. they even encouraged such behavior from them....and i remember having a talk with my mods of the server saying how that was super fucking odd and kind of disgusting. i didn’t even wanna know what was going in in that private server. this should’ve been the second red flag, but i gave the benefit of the doubt.

however, this wasn’t the penultimate thing.

you know by now that i am a vocal person when it comes to activism. i do not shy away from hot topics because i want people to be informed and be comfortable in the uncomfortable. some of my mutuals often asked me what i meant when i said “all white people” or when i said that white people are responsible for this and that and i was okay with answering these questions because, hey, you’re not gonna learn if you don’t ask questions. at first, i was willing to teach my white friends about some of the things that contribute to the oppression of people of color and what their white privilege meant but what i should’ve learned sooner rather than later was that i can’t always assume the role of teacher. 

and there are some things that must come from a white person in order for them to recognize their privilege, realize their behavior, and come up with ways to do better, and put action towards that.

sometimes that’s better said than done. some of the white friends that i had in that server were kinda agitated by all my “accusations” of all white people but i kept reminding them that when i say that, i only mean this type or that type...but if the shoe fit? i could tell that SSIS was just not understanding any of that...but she never really said that. but here i thought she was a woman of color because she said that her specific group of spaniards faced oppression. i do want to say that it is partially my part for not putting two and two together that spaniards are europeans and are not considered people of color, no matter the region. however, the way she spoke of her struggles made me want to believe that she was. it’s a stupid reason, i will say that. even when typing this, i still can’t believe i thought she was a woman of color...and i want to try to make excuses but really, i should’ve been more informed. but the more i think about it, SSIS should’ve been the one to correct me, stop me, and tell me that she isn’t a woman of color, that she is european. you don’t lie about one’s identity like that just because you think being called a woman of color gets you some sort of clout. people think that being “hispanic” also covers spainards and i fell into that trap. SSIS shouldn’t have kept up the lie like that. that should’ve been the third red flag but i wanted to attribute that to them learning and growing.

the catalyst seemed to be when notre dame burned. an empty church building, mind you. the way that her and the rest of her group were viciously attacking my friends of the server for making jokes about it, forcing one to apologize for doing nothing wrong, and quite literally foaming at the mouth for some silly symbol of colonization by europeans...i was kind of taken aback by it. i remember being in the car with my sister and her boyfriend and reading the messages out loud and they started to laugh because c’mon! it was ridiculous that they were defending this building! this should’ve been my fourth red flag, but once again, i believe people can change.

it became quiet after that, real quiet. i know some of my mods decided to take a break from the server after such a heated argument that was initiated by SSIS. slowly but surely, the server started to pick up again and for that i was grateful that this didn’t completely severe any trust. though i did notice the absence of SSIS and her little friend group. it became more blatantly obvious that these people have separated themselves from us. the private conversation that i still held with SSIS slowed down to more sporadic messages. however, i still supported her and her art. i donated money to her, i even offered to help her buy a website for her art and merch. the support from those friends dwindled down but i continued to support their content no matter what. i wanted to let them know that even though we may have some differences, we can overcome these challenges and support one another.

gosh, sorry, i started...getting teary eyed from remembering this because it comes to show that internet friends...you don’t always truly know them.

i’m not 100% sure when this started to occur, whether it was before the big fight or afterwards but i slowly started to realize that these people were not my friends. as y’all are aware, i started to have a steady disinterest in dbh and often was vocal about that. given that, everyone is allowed to criticize media so my opinions are my own. i was trying to fight for a better community for the dbh fandom, i was trying to fight for my voice and my fellow stans of color to have their voices and stories heard. i believe that SSIS was on my side because she, too, agreed with me for wanting a better fandom where fans of color are taken seriously and are recognized. i thought she was willing to fight for me because she, too, was disappointed that nothing ever come about my rants and awareness. however, that wasn’t the same tune she and her friends were singing. when i brought up racism in fandom and transformative fanworks, i was met by such a response by one white author (who has her own story with me, but i am not sure if i should talk about but she apparently tried to get in contact with me to apologize but as of today, i still haven’t heard from her) who said that it was up to me to create the content that i want to see...and that is a very racist thing to say. the responsibility shouldn’t fall on me or on the shoulders of my fellow people of color. i could go off on a tangent but...lemme bring this back to what i wanted to say.

when that decline started to happen, i was becoming more and more aware that two people from this inner circle, SSIS and that other white author, were making vague tweets about me. they, too, also started to make vague posts about me as well. they started talking so...horribly about me and the things i felt so passionately about...that these things hurt like hell. fuck, crying again...um, i don’t remember specific wordings but i do remember that they were specifically about me...and they were posting that while i was still following them. that’s what hurt the most...because they knew i was going to read these tweets and these posts...so i talked it over with my mods, cried a bit about it, and they held my hand while i unfollowed them quietly from twitter, tumblr, and instagram. even despite it all, i was so....it was hard to unfollow them. i don’t know why...they hurt me so why did i feel like i was betraying them? i unfollowed everyone from that friend group except for the reader of mine because i gave him the benefit of the doubt, i wanted to believe that he was merely influenced by them to do things he was against, and i hoped that he, too, would recognize what they were doing was wrong. 

then it happened. all hell broke lose.

it started with the white author who posted a public message on the general server channel that i would’ve rather have had her sent that personally to me than just having this out in the open for everyone to see. since this isn’t about her, i will save my commentary and just say that it was kinda hurtful to read. 

then, i guess that white author gave the confidence of SSIS who dropped a very long and personal message on the server that was one of the most vile, vicious, and racist things i have ever read in my entire life. she began the message with “now that you unfollowed me on twitter, i can really tell you what’s on my mind” and typed up one of the most ugliest and most wicked messages...i wish i knew what it all said but i remember reading it....and crying. it broke my heart knowing that this woman, someone i considered my friend, someone i trusted, someone that i shared a lot of vulnerable shit with, someone that i thought i looked up to...someone i cared for....harbored such hatred towards me. slowly i began to see that she kept up a front with me, kept those feelings at bay, and waited until i slipped or something so that she had an excuse to air out what she thought was “dirty laundry”. to this day, it’s one of the most traumatic things that has ever happened to me.

after that happened, i deleted the server as it served as a reminder of what transpired. i apologized to everyone on my server though there wasn’t anything on my part to apologize for but i felt like i had to. all of last year was one of the most difficult years i have ever been through because it made me second guess myself, my abilities, and i became incredibly weary of white women (even more so than before). i lost any motivation to write, i lost any creative spark i had before that time, and just...completely became a shell of myself. it sounds so dramatic and silly of me...but it felt like i was in some sort of weird sad episode where i couldn’t control my impulses. i deleted a lot of my work, i deleted a lot of my content from my blog, even content i was proud of. even outside of the internet, i was...withdrawn. i tried to throw myself into working but i didn’t even have that drive to do that. i wanted to get over it so badly because i didn’t want to give up like that. i became withdrawn from others, i closed myself from speaking up about what happened because it hurt to open up a huge wound like that. plus, i couldn’t really talk about this with my family or my other friends because it’s like “hey, this one internet friend that i had turned out to be a racist snake” like it sounds wild to be upset about that. it felt silly to me because my gosh, this is the internet! nothing is real! everything is so...trivial. but what happened with SSIS last year is something that i haven’t 100% healed from but i have come a long way since april of 2019 and i am proud of myself despite how it doesn’t feel like i have healed much. also i don’t remember most of 2019 if we are being honest. however, just a few days ago i got a notification from a tweet she had tagged me in but instead of panicking, i kinda laughed? about it? rolled my eyes? that’s growth, babeyy!

if you are a follower of hers, you do what you want with this information. like i said before, i am not going to tell you what to do. you are the one to ultimately make that decision. whether you decide to send screenshots to her of this ask, whether you choose to defend her honor in my inbox, call me a liar, block her, idc but whatever you do, please don’t send her hate anons or hateful asks...i do not endorse that behavior whatsoever. thank y’all for hearing me out

[mazanica]

So anymore funfacts about anyone? Red, Freddy, anyone you want? (I was gonna send in an ask like right after the last one but then I had an anxiety attack, the universe will not stop me from talking to you 😂)

(Took me a few days bc my phone was the GPS to get home and I’ve been relaxing and winding down and also i can’t answer on my PC rn bc I share a room with my sister and she has to get up at like 4 am for work and I type rly fast and loud and it wakes her up, keeps her awake and ticks her off lmao so mobile post! I hope you feel better now! ;w; I LOVE TALKING TO YOU TALK TO ME MORE 👀 discord)

Also you said fun facts and I wrote a book, thanks.

Freddy is the most level headed, yet also the most dangerous out of ALL of the animatronics (this does not include the shadows and nightmares, as they’re not technically real animatronics, or the puppet who is basically the closest thing possible to a mortal god). He knows things none of the others know, and often the first person he tells anything to is either Red (as the Toys’ leader and bc of their personal relationship ofc) or Bonnie (his best friend, inside and outside of the programming). He witnessed the very first murder (after the Bite of ‘83, so Fredbear’s is shut down and it’s the first official Freddy Fazbear restaurant), along with the Puppet, but as this is before the (first) children are murdered he can do nothing but adhere to his code. He began to glitch out of course, as the first sign of autonomy fought with his programming. He and the other OGs did not gain full autonomy until they came in contact with the murdered children, though they have always been sentient (can you imagine…)

Bonnie ADORES cute things. He’ll never admit it though. He’s a little bitter and a little jealous, but the Toys quickly endear themselves to him in part because of their cute very-80’s design. He’s loyal to a fault but when his trust is broken, its a bitch to get back. He has Freddy’s back no matter what. He likes to bicker with Chica and Foxy, and often insults and teases them as big brothers do, but the moment someone else does he’s ready to throw down. He’s very protective and mildly possessive, but Freddy’s working with him on that last bit- possessive is not good and Bonnie knows that.

Chica was programmed bilingual, with English and Spanish in order to help children who only spoke the latter (the Hispanic population was fairly high in their city and Henry was highly aware of the children and their parents who only knew Spanish, so it was good to have someone always there who can communicate). She cooks, of course, she’s Chica, and while she and Bonnie definitely have the bickering teasing sibling relationship she’s closest to Foxy. Those two, while they will have a go at each other, will usually band together and are often found playing games together. Foxy is the one she feels she can trust with her secrets.

Foxy is good at keeping secrets. He’s a storyteller and loves to play pretend, and often he can glean info from the others based on what they choose their characters to be or do. He gets the others to open up to him easily, and of the OGs he’s probably the most open and sympathetic, allowing him to easily befriend the Toys when they meet. He’s also the most sensitive, so he’s the most torn up about the murdered children, but his reactions to hurt is often violence- against himself, against the perpetrator, against the wall, etc… But he never hurts his friends.

The Golden duo were actually built by a novice inventor (though she was a genius), initially as babysitters and entertainers for the inventor’s children (single mother). However, the kids in the neighborhood LOVED them so she opened the diner. It ran for a few years, over time the Golden duo gaining their autonomy as they learned. This was in the 50’s, and this tech was unheard of back then so it obviously caught attention. Time passed and the inventor eventually died in the late 70’s, and her children teamed up with Henry and William to bring in new animatronics to expand the “family.” Thus Freddy, Bonnie, Chica and Foxy were built (the band came first, Foxy was added later) and placed in a sister restaurant… When ‘83 happened, the inventor’s kids shut the restaurant down (feeling ashamed that their beloved goldies could cause such harm) and sold all of the rights to Henry and William, under the condition that their mother’s characters always be honoured; and thus the name Fredbear remains, even if only in programming.

Henry is the one who built the OGs, using the blueprints and plans from the golden duo in order to achieve the same effect. William, wanting to best Henry (William was a very very jealous and selfish man), began secretly working on the Sister Location before ‘83 (basically right after Henry revealed the OG Fazband), and he made the blueprints for the Toys (as they were the prototypes for the SL) from scratch, using very little of the Goldens’ creator’s code and instead using a child genius who would never know any better. The child was forced into writing the first “living code”, which would grow and develop on its own- the first true AI, or so William thought (the OGs and Goldens learn and grow but that’s through time and observation and ghosts, they weren’t actually programmed for it). As such, the Toys from the moment they woke up could feel.

William is a monster. He murders for fun. Freddy was the first to show aggression towards him- Freddy saw the murder, but he didn’t see the murderer, but he never liked how William reacted to finding out about the child found dead in the alley, especially since he was supposed to be a family friend. William murdered the first set of children out of anger at Henry, wanting to see “Mr. Perfect” fail- not realizing Henry was spiraling (the first child was Henry’s daughter, Sammy). When Freddy’s shut down and they decided to reopen, he decided that instead of letting Henry have the glory of refitting the OGs, he introduced Henry to the Toys.

The Toys have no knowledge of William, beyond “our creator.” They also don’t know of the child genius that William used and abused to create them, though they do have fragments of memory about them.

Blue is the most sensitive about the “replacement” thing. After he finds out, he refuses to respond to the name Bonnie- even has an actual breakdown over it because “if you’re not Freddy and I’m not Bonnie then who the heck are we?!” Total existential crisis. He even breaks a mirror in the bathroom. It’s after that that the Toys officially take up nicknames to use among themselves.

The Toys were given the OGs’ props when they were activated, but they gave them back. The restaurant crew eventually got tired of having to fetch the props from the back and just ordered new props for the Toys.

Mangle’s nickname was originally Vixy, but after being ripped apart they embraced the name Mangle and decided they liked the sound of it. Red tried to reason with them about it but Mangle was firm in their decision.

The Toys and OGs (as the Withereds) never hunted the night guard. The night guards were scared stiff when the animatronics moved and got it in their heads that they were being hunted. The animatronics had no reason to hunt the night guard; they didn’t know after all. The Withereds did tell the Toys about the first set of murders (and Freddy admitted the truth about the first child to Red), but the Toys couldn’t imagine the pain until they went through it themselves (second set of murdered kids).

Red and Chii take the most issue with being called “Toy”- Red because it likens them to cheap knockoffs and Chii because it likens them to simple objects meant to be played with and tossed away. Mangle and Blue were indifferent to the title.

The Toys are the only ones who saw the murderer. The secret of his identity died with them.

William (under the alias Dominic Fueller) masqueraded as a guard after he and Henry had a falling out, and during this time he kidnapped the kids and murdered them. This time he was more careful, and the Toys were the only witnesses. However, when the OGs later read about the Bite of '87 (which targeted William but ended up getting selfless little Jeremy instead), they put the pieces together that it was a night guard (as the paper said they “cornered a guard”) and began hunting night guards from that day onwards.

All in all there were 11 murdered children and 2 bite victims. Bite of '83 was the crying child, shortly after that was Sammy, then in '85 was the first five children who briefly haunted the restaurant and the OGs’ suits (their bodies were found, however, and properly interred so they moved on bc closure). Then '87 came and the second set of murders happened, and the day after was the Bite of '87.

Henry committed suicide shortly after '87, leaving William with the rest of the company… But he stuck around.

Things between the Toys and OGs was initially rocky, but no one was outright hostile. Of the Toys, Red was the first to reach out a hand, and of the OGs Foxy was the first (though Freddy did extend pleasantries, as the leader). Bonnie just sort of started hanging around and Blue on a whim gave him back his guitar, and that simple act is what truly bridged the gap. Soon the Toys decided to fix the OGs up, with Red hoping one day the OGs would perform again. Blue often voiced a desire to perform alongside Bonnie, not as Old and New but as Bonnie and Blue.

When Mangle was ripped apart with no hope of being fixed, everyone did what they could to make things better for them. However, Mangle came to the conclusion eventually that they liked being a “spider fox.” They could go places and do things the others couldn’t, and soon it became the norm to look up and see a fox chillin on the ceilin

The animatronics have souls of their own, formed over time, circumstance and experiences. They’re all reunited in the end, and either stay in the afterlife or move on to another life- hopefully a happier one. Surprise, all my AUs are connected in a multiverse 😂 they exist parallel to each other, sometimes even in the same universe/timeline but at different points in time. They’re all the lives the animatronics (and night guards and children) live, whether it’s in another universe or the same. They have happy stories and not so happy stories… But they’re stories. Their stories. And they always find each other, one way or another.

Oh yeah those next and parallel lives I mentioned? Yeah the souls carry wounds that transcend time and space. 9 times out of 10, their names or nicknames will be the same, they’ll look as they always did, and they hold the same scars as their animatronic forms.

[loudlytransparenttrash]

What's your thoughts on Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez? Personally I thought she lost any form of credibility when she compared Ben Shapiro's request for debate to catcalling, after shaming Joe Crowley for not wanting to debate her.

Right? She showed up at Crowley’s office with so much bravado, trying to humiliate him into debating her on the spot, but when Ben Shapiro offers online to debate her for charity at a time and place of her choice, that was unsolicited catcalling and a man full of entitlement… Did you also see her try to be a good ally to Hamas, condemning Israel for their “massacres” and “the occupation of Palestine”? When she was asked to clarify what she meant, she completely fell apart, retreated from her statements and admitted she doesn’t really know what she’s talking about. How can someone know so little about a topic yet be so passionate about it? She’s also called for the abolishment of ICE, prompting many other Democrats to campaign on ridding the country of immigration law enforcement. But still, none of this compares to her socialist agenda.

In her interview with Trevor Noah, the very anti-Trump talkshow host, she was asked to explain how the United States would pay for all of the entitlements she has campaigned on including fully taxpayer-funded Medicare, college tuition and housing. No different to any other socialist, she replied it’s possible “if the wealthy paid their fair share.” She went on to proudly state that if we raised the hell out of taxes on corporations and the ultra wealthy, over a ten year period the government could make two trillion dollars. Considering providing Medicare for all would cost the federal government 32 trillion dollars over the same length of time and free college tuition would cost 75 billion per year, her math doesn’t quite add up. That’s not even including her free housing, free childcare and an increase in entitlement programs she’s calling for. Her other bright idea to pay for socialism is to take money from the military, because “they don’t need it.”

This is the problem with socialism. It’s all whimsical, pie in the sky economics. They go on and on about the evil “1 percent” but even if we took 100 percent of the wealth from America’s richest people, we’d only be able to run a free-for-all socialist government for about four months. The combined wealth of all our multimillionaires and billionaires, everyone in Forbes Richest 400, we’d reap 2.68 trillion. That sounds like a lot, sure, but we already spend almost double that per year, without the endless welfare programs. That sum couldn’t even fund universal healthcare for a single year, let alone even scratch the surface of our 20 trillion national debt or the combined spending of every other socialist program. The question that no socialist can answer is what happens after we take the money from the rich? They all want to play Robin Hood and steal from the rich, but what then? What happens when that money quickly runs out?

Taking all the wealth from the rich is the exact same idea as simply printing out trillions of dollars more and handing it out to everyone. Their goal is to make everyone equally rich, but if everyone is rich then the value of money becomes worthless, making everyone equally poor. And if we take away all the money, who then will be our entrepreneurs, job creators and pioneers? People won’t work if there’s no incentive, if they’re not allowed to profit or excel individually. How do we make people work if they know they’ll still be paid and provided for regardless if they work or not? But that’s all part of the socialist ideology, they believe in a communal state, where everyone works for free, everyone shares everything, nothing is owned, it’s all for the good of mankind and equality.

That’s why she’s so popular with young liberals, they live and breathe for this utopia, their teachers have been indoctrinating them for the past twenty years, so of course they will flock to vote for a brown and female version of Bernie, but her ideas and her clear failure to sell them will never be able to convince the rest of America to get on board. And why would they? The great GDP numbers are just the latest positive example of what has been an objectively successful economy under Trump. Since taking office, the Dow has gone from 18,332 to 25,503. The Nasdaq has gained almost 3,000 points, and the S&P is up just shy of 800. Our national unemployment rate is at an 18-year low of 3.8 percent. Among black, Hispanic and Asian Americans, unemployment is at all-time low numbers. Trump has slashed red tape at a record rate, consumer confidence is through the roof and we have more available jobs than unemployed people.

She even fumbled with answers related to the low unemployment rate, stating it was so low “due to Americans working two or more jobs.” However the number of Americans working two or more jobs has been on the decline since the mid-90s and sits under 5 percent of all people employed today. Another common assertion is that people are working “60, 70, 80 hours a week to feed their families.” In fact, we’re working less today than ever. The average number of hours worked is about 34.5 hours. Liberals always use tiny percentages to justify their policies: 1 percent of abortions are due to rape or incest so we must make abortion legal for all. Less than 1 percent of people are transgender, so we must make it a law to force people to pretend men are women and women are men. Just because 4 percent of people work two jobs with long hours, it doesn’t mean we should all welcome Marxism and socialism into America.  

She certainly has a strong niche of support on the far-left, but the question is could she sustain or even continue her rise in the face of our current booming economy? Trump’s best polling numbers are in relation to his handling of the economy and his crackdown on illegal immigration, two things Ocasio-Cortez wants to throw away and replace with something of the complete opposite. Not so long ago praising socialism and urging the government to pay for our every want and control our every move was considered politically career-ending. When Trump came onto the political scene, many assumed the same thing for him, so who knows? But similar to the fork in the road the Republicans faced in 2016, the Democrats now face it too, they have to determine if the future of the party will follow Ocasio-Cortez and Bernie into outright socialism. Considering though not even Obama could find himself endorsing her, probably because he knows the more the Democrat party embraces socialism, high taxes, open borders and the abolishment of law enforcement, the more elections they’ll lose, I’m not sure her future is as bright as many on the far-left hope :) xx

[tamekas-talk]

Black TikTok Creators Speak After Black History Event with Nicki Minaj

Black TikTok Creators Speak Out Following Black History Event with Nicki Minaj Black TikTok creators were invited to an exclusive virtual event with Nicki Minaj for Black History Month. Yet, the non-Black creators invited stole the show. Earlier this week, Nicki Minaj partnered with TikTok to create a forum for her and Black creators to meet and celebrate Black History Month. However, the space was invaded by non-Black creators who were reportedly in the center of the conversation, reported Buzzfeed News. Black TikTok creators shared their frustration following the event and Nicki vowed to have a redo to grant them back their space.

Initially, some non-Black creators attempted to clap back and defend themselves. Claiming they were 'Black by association' or were entitled to be in the conversation because they value learning about Black history. Obviously, there was a disconnect.

Black TikTok user Noah posted a video sharing his perspective of the situation, quoting from the email invitation he received reading the event was “kicking off Black History Month with an exclusive virtual TikTok creator meet up with the queen herself.” It’s interesting to kick off Black History Month with Tik Tok, but after the Zoom all the non-Black creators were very excited and all the Black creators were very upset. I’m a part of TikTok’s own Black TikTok and we have a group chat together and so I know firsthand there were multiple people that did not get links or were unable to log in because the Zoom was so full. I believe they ended up fixing it a little bit. I was able to get in. I know some people couldn’t. Those of us that could get into the Zoom, we were very interested to see that many of the creators in there were actually non-Black.

Maybe that’s not inherently wrong but the majority of questions, did go to non-Black creators. It’s very ironic and frustrating to have a Black History Months event and not give a safe space to Black creators.

Popular Black TikTok creator Niccoya made a video referencing the same concern. In response, a non-Black user defended his attendance on the grounds of Black History being for everyone to learn from and remember. We’re not trying to gate keep. It’s a matter of reclaiming our space. Niccoya had a few choice words for him. From Niccoya’s TikTok: I’m so happy that you have a choice; the choice to be interested in my culture. I’m so happy for you because as a Black woman, I don’t have a choice to be interested in Black history. I live Black history. I am Black history. And since you’re so interested in Black history, I hope you’ve done your research. Black people have constantly been silenced and white people have been made the face of our movement.

If you’re so interested in Black people, wouldn’t you think to yourself, “Oh, TikTok is holding a Black History Month event with Nicki Minaj and they’re inviting all of these Black creators who are so excited to go. Maybe I should allow Black people to have this experience. Maybe I should give this privilege to a Black person during Black History Month.”

Another Black user, Quen Williams,  responded to the same non-Black user using an analogy to Hispanic Heritage Month. She said if TikTok was holding an event to celebrate Hispanic Heritage and invited Selena (for theoretical example), she would feel uncomfortable attending. “I’d never want to take a seat from someone in the Latinx community nor would I want to take up space by asking all the damn questions because it’s not my place and it’s inconsiderate,” Williams said. “I side with Miss Niccoya in that it was very strange to have a bunch of non-Black people on an event that was for Black History Month” User ‘Bryanthediamond’ defended his right to be in a Black space by claiming various family members of his were Black, though he does not identify as Black himself. Y’all can imagine what the response was to that post. Nicki responded to the conflict when she went on Instagram Live following the event, according to E! News. “I hear you guys. I heard what you were saying. Let me see if I can schedule something for you guys, because trust me I heard y’all loud and clear,” said Nicki via Instagram Live.  Read the full article

[rosie-leonard]

Good Fxcking Music & Good Fxcking People

Looking for a way to connect and create with other artists during a pandemic? Tori Husain, NYU sophomore and creator of GFM and OTFU, has everything you’ve been searching for and more. Image of Husain, derived from https://goodfxckingmusic.com 

From her childhood bedroom with olive-green walls and simple yet intricate works of art hanging tastefully by the window, Tori Husain, NYU sophomore and creator of Good Fucking Music and Open the Fuck Up, sits in her now “office” and excitedly works on coordinating her next big project for GFM. Sitting in front of her laptop sporting a messy bun, sweatshirt, and thin-rimmed rose-gold glasses, Husain rushes through another busy day writing emails, creating content for her platform, and organizing Zoom events and meetings, proving life does not stop just because the world did. 

While studying Media Culture and Communications at NYU, Husain noticed a lack of communication and openness within the community. “Me and my friend saw a lot of people were just yelling and canceling each other and not really having conversations,” Husain said. “Even when people tried engaging in conversation, it wasn’t young or approachable or confrontational enough—people just danced around ideas.”

In lieu of her observations, Husain sought to create a platform where people could “Open the Fuck Up,” and talk about things people are afraid to talk about, ranging from white privilege to masturbation.

Prior to NYU, Husain attended Garnet Valley, a predominantly white high school in Glen Mills, Pa. Noting the lack of diversity and means of effective communication, Husain sought to find ways to advocate for racial and social justice by joining clubs and organizations that did just that.

By August of 2019, Husain moved to NYU and was exposed to a new world. “I went to NYU, and all my friends were black, brown, and Hispanic,” Husain said. “Just having friendships and closeness with people that wasn’t even a possibility at Garnet Valley changed my life.”

Husain made a point to emphasize the importance of exposure, as it coincides with a sense of belonging. “Similar to being around people who looked like me was exposure to the LGBTQ community,” Husain said. “Sure, I had gay friends at Garnet Valley, but having structures at the school made for communities, learning about history—it was incredible to see marginalized communities as more dimensional because I would read and talk about it with friends from home, but when an entire class is based on this history and taught by a person who experienced it, and I’m surrounded by people who look like me, I was like, ‘Hooollyyy shit! This changed my life.’”

Husain believes that two different ignorances exist between the suburbs and the city, and such a realization pushed her to try and connect the two worlds. “I’ve lived two realities, and I wanted to build that bridge,” Husain said. “We’re all ignorant; it’s just about having conversations.”

“When I went to New York, I saw this fluidity, sex, and gender, and all the beautiful things I think should be everywhere because I think it’s beautiful, real, and human,” Husain said. “But there was also this sense of unknowing of the other perspective that I lived where they’d be like ‘fuck the people in the suburbs!’ and I’d be like ‘I live in the suburbs, people are cool, they just don’t have the information to put together all the stuff you believe in, or your truth.’”

With the need to spread information and build a community of understanding, Husain and her friends started putting up black and white fliers around New York in February 2020, with the statement, “WHITE PRIVILEGE IS REAL” written in bold letters. Beneath the powerful words was a handle for their Instagram account, @openthefuckup, as well as tear-off tabs reading, in bold print, “AGREED.” This, as phrased on their Instagram account, was the start of a revolution.

After a few days of posting on their Instagram account, @openthefuckup explained to their followers who they were and their intent: experimenting to see how people would react to an abrupt statement and speak openly about white privilege.

Through their Instagram account, OTFU had virtual discussions in comments and DMS to encourage real conversations with opinions from every perspective in which people are not told what to think, but rather encouraged to share their truth.

By March, Husain sought to bring in more people and prove to the community that the organization was legit. By pulling a few strings, Husain managed to host a concert event in Brooklyn, NY, to launch the brand, which went incredibly well and consisted of 160 people, as noted by Husain.

Not a week later, however, all NYU students were sent home, and Husain moved back to Garnet Valley due to the COVID-19 outbreak, putting a halt to her rising platform.

After two weeks, Husain, like many others, was longing for a sense of community. Upon attending a Zoom concert that her friend hosted, Husain had a revelation. “I saw what he did and thought, ‘I wanna do that. It is easy, I don’t have to find a venue or spend money,’” Husain said.

Husain stated that she loves people and, even more, bringing people together, which is why, after attending the Zoom concert, she confidently texted her friend, stating, “Tomorrow. This is what is going to happen. I am going to reach out to all the people I met through the Open the Fuck Up concert and get them together over Zoom to jam out online.”

According to Husain, word spread quickly, and musicians from all over the world came to perform virtually.

“The first concert started at 10:30 p.m. and lasted until 3:30 a.m.,” Husain said. “Then the same thing happened the next time and the time after that. There was so much talent, and the performers were consistently phenomenal, which made me want to start something bigger.”  

With the intent to branch off of these casual Zoom concerts, Husain launched “Good Fucking Music” through her Instagram account with a new goal: to get as many artists as possible to have music as a full-time job.

“We brand ourselves on our product being our community,” Husain said. “No one can replicate community.” According to Husain, a community is what all artists were, and still are, in search of during the pandemic.

“I knew a lot of artists just wanted community, because when you’re a creator, the only way you create is through living—seeing—experiencing,” Husain said. “When you live, creativity comes naturally. But when you’re in quarantine, you’re deprived of living. Your creativity is halted, and you become depressed.”

Through GFM, artists can digitally collaborate and connect with people from all over the world, bringing opportunities and creations that would have never happened if it weren’t for the internet and social media.

“The internet brings people together,” Husain said. “It’s incredible to see people performing even when the space isn’t there.”

Recently, major production companies, such as Revolt, owned by P. Diddy, and producers, such as Sean Michael Field, reached out to GFM and are teaming up with artists, offering free studio time and music video giveaways. According to Husain, these opportunities show how much people believe in GFM and the artists within.

“I haven’t made any money off this,” Husain said. “I’m not here to get rich—that’s not why I made it—I want happy people and to give success to people who deserve it. I just genuinely wanna help artists. That’s it.”

In consideration of Husain’s statement, it is important to note GFM’s motto, as stated by Husain, “At our core, we give a fuck about everything.”

Reminiscing on how successful her life has been in only 19 years, Husain said she learned a lot about what is possible. “I intentionally do things because I have a dream goal,” Husain said. “When that happens, I’m shocked. But it’s what I intended to happen. I’ve realized how many dreams and things can come true right now.”

Husain mentioned that she is always conscious of her position in the world and constantly wondering what she can do to help and make a change.

With GFM consuming her life, Husain noted that OTFU is on pause because it was a lot to manage during the pandemic. Husain mentioned that, although OTFU has halted, people are still granted the opportunity to connect and be real with one another in a safe and chill environment through GFM while sharing a love for music.

Flyer from @goodfxckingmusic

GFM also has masterclasses and mentorship programs (Good Fucking Mentorship), where up and coming artists can connect with more experienced ones. Occasionally, competitions are held and reel in around 200-300 people.

On Saturday, Sept. 26, GFM announced a producer competition judged by Jasper Harris, producer, age 19, and Othello Beats in collaboration with BeatStars. Applications are due Friday, Oct. 9, at noon (EST), and the competition is scheduled for Friday, Oct. 16, 8:30 p.m.-10:30 p.m. EST.

Looking forward, Husain stated that she hopes to have a GFM tour when it is safe to do so. Husain also mentioned that, if NYU does not work out, she is confident GFM music will. “GFM will be my full-time job,” Husain said. “I never want to work for someone else. I want to do whatever I want whenever the fuck I want.”

GFM hosts listening sessions every Friday at 8:30 p.m. EST for anyone who wants to show their music, talk, and make a community, and can be found via their Instagram: @goodfxckingmusic, or website: https://goodfxckingmusic.com

[yasbxxgie]

Fourteen years ago, during my first year of college, I sat in a creative writing class and listened as my teacher, an elderly man, told another student not to use black characters in his stories unless those characters’ blackness was somehow essential to the plots. The presence of blacks, my teacher felt, changed the focus of a story, drew attention from the intended subject.

This happened in 1965. I would never have expected to hear my teacher’s sentiments echoed by a science fiction writer in 1979. Hear them I did, though, at a science fiction convention where a writer explained that he had decided against using a black character in one of his stories because the presence of the black would change his story somehow. Later, this same writer suggested that in stories that seem to require black characters to make some racial point, it might be possible to substitute extraterrestrials—so as not to dwell on matters of race.

Well, let’s do a little dwelling.

Science fiction reaches into the future, the past, the human mind. It reaches out to other worlds and into other dimensions. Is it really so limited, then, that it cannot reach into the lives of ordinary everyday humans who happen not to be white?

Blacks, Asians, Hispanics, Amerindians, minority characters in general have been noticeably absent from most science fiction. Why? As a black and a science fiction writer, I’ve heard that question often. I’ve also heard several answers. And, because most people try to be polite, there have been certain answers I haven’t heard. That’s all right. They’re obvious.

Best, though, and most hopeful from my point of view, I’ve heard from people who want to write science fiction, or who’ve written a few pieces, perhaps, and who would like to include minority characters, but aren’t sure how to go about it. Since I’ve had to solve the same problem in reverse, maybe I can help.

But first some answers to my question: Why have there been so few minority characters in science fiction?

Let’s examine my teacher’s reason. Are minority characters—black characters in this case—so disruptive a force that the mere presence of one alters a story, focuses it on race rather than whatever the author had in mind? Yes, in fact, black characters can do exactly that if the creators of those characters are too restricted in their thinking to visualize blacks in any other context.

This is the kind of stereotyping, conscious or subconscious, that women have fought for so long. No writer who regards blacks as people, human beings, with the usual variety of human concerns, flaws, skills, hopes, etc., would have trouble creating interesting backgrounds and goals for black characters. No writer who regards blacks as people would get sidetracked into justifying their blackness or their presence unless such justification honestly played a part in the story. It is no more necessary to focus on a character’s blackness than it is to focus on a woman’s femininity.

Now, what about the possibility of substituting extra-terrestrials for blacks—in order to make some race-related point without making anyone…uncomfortable? In fact, why can’t blacks be represented by whites—who are not too thoroughly described—thus leaving readers free to use their imaginations and visualize whichever color they like?

I usually manage to go on being polite when I hear questions like these, but it’s not easy.

Onward, then. Let’s replace blacks with tentacled beings from Capella V. What will readers visualize as we describe relations between the Capellans and the (white) humans? Will they visualize black humans dealing with white humans? I don’t think so. This is science fiction, after all. If you tell your readers about tentacled Capellans, they’re going to visualize tentacled Capellans. And if your readers are as touchy about human races as you were afraid they might be when you substituted the Capellans, are they really likely to pay attention to any analogy you draw? I don’t think so.

And as for whites representing all of humanity—on the theory that people will imagine other races; or better yet, on the theory that all people are alike anyway, so what does it matter? Well, remember when men represented all of humanity? Women didn’t care much for it. Still don’t. No great mental leap is required to understand why blacks, why any minority, might not care much for it either. And apart from all that, of course, it doesn’t work. Whites represent themselves, and that’s plenty. Spread the burden.

Back when Star Wars was new, a familiar excuse for ignoring minorities went something like this: “Science fiction is escapist literature. Its readers/viewers don’t want to be weighted down with real problems.” War, okay. Planet-wide destruction, okay. Kidnapping, okay. But the sight of a minority person? Too heavy. Too real. And, of course, there again is the implication that a sprinkling of blacks, Asians, or others could turn the story into some sort of racial statement. The only statement I could imagine being made by such a sprinkling would be that among the white, human people; the tall, furry people; the lumpy, scaly people; the tentacled people; etc., were also brown, human people; black, human people, etc. This isn’t a heavy statement—unless it’s missing.

From my agent (whose candor I appreciate) I heard what could become an even stronger reason for not using black characters in particular. Not using them in film, anyway. It seems that blacks are out of fashion. In an industry that pays a great deal of attention to trends, blacks have had their day for a while. How long a while? Probably until someone decides to take a chance—and winds up making a damn big hit movie about blacks.

All right, forget for a moment the faddishness of the movie industry, forget that movies about blacks are out. Movies, science fiction and otherwise, with a sprinkling of minority characters, but no particular minority theme, seem to do well. Yaphet Kotto certainly didn’t do Alien any harm. In fact, for me, probably for a good many blacks, he gave the movie an extra touch of authenticity, and a monster movie, even a good monster movie, needs all the authenticity it can get.

That brings me to another question I hear often at science fiction conventions. “Why are there so few black science fiction writers?” I suspect for the same reason there were once so few women science fiction writers. Women found a certain lack of authenticity in a genre that postulated a universe largely populated by men in which all the power was in male hands, and women stayed in their male-defined places.

Science fiction writers come from science fiction readers, generally. Few readers equal few writers. The situation is improving, however. Blacks are not as likely as whites to spend time and money going to conventions, but there is a growing black readership. Black people I meet now are much more likely to have read at least some science fiction, and are not averse to reading more. My extra copy of Dreamsnake has reached its fifth reader, last I heard. Movies like Alien, Star Wars, in spite of its lack, and Close Encounters, plus the old Star Trek TV series have captured a lot of interest. With all this, it’s been a pleasantly long time since a friend or acquaintance has muttered to me, “Science fiction! How can you waste your time with anything that unreal?”

Now to those reasons people aren’t as likely to give for leaving minorities out of science fiction. The most obvious one, and the one I feel least included to discuss is conscious racism. It exists. I don’t think science fiction is greatly afflicted with it, but then, racism is unfashionable now, and thus is unlikely to be brought into the open. Instead, it can be concealed behind any of the questions and arguments I’ve already discussed. To the degree that it is, this whole article is a protest against racism. It’s as much of a protest as I intend to make at the moment. I know of too many bright, competent blacks who have had to waste time and energy trying to reason away other people’s unreasonable racist attitudes; in effect, trying to prove their humanity. Life is too short.

A more insidious problem than outright racism is simply habit, custom. Science fiction has always been nearly all white, just as until recently, it’s been nearly all male. A lot of people have had a chance to get comfortable with things as they are. Too comfortable. Science fiction, more than any other genre, deals with change—change in science and technology, and social change. But science fiction itself changes slowly, often under protest. You can still go to conventions and hear deliberately sexist remarks—if the speaker thinks he has a sympathetic audience. People resent being told their established way of doing things is wrong, resent being told they should change, and strongly resent being told they won’t be alone any longer in the vast territory—the universe—they’ve staked out for themselves. I don’t think anyone seriously believes the world of the future will be all white any more than anyone believes the present world is all white. But custom can be strong enough to prevent people from seeing the need for science fiction to reflect a more realistic view.

Adherence to custom can also cause people to oppose change by becoming even more extreme in their customary behavior. I went back to college for a couple of quarters a few years ago and found one male teacher after another announcing with odd belligerence, “I might as well tell you right now, I’m a male chauvinist!”

A custom attacked is a custom that will be defended. Men who feel defensive about sexist behavior may make sexist bigots of themselves. Whites who feel defensive about racist behavior may make racist bigots of themselves. It’s something for people who value open-mindedness and progressive attitudes to beware of.

A second insidious problem is laziness, possibly combined with ignorance. Authors who have always written of all-white universes might not feel particularly threatened by a multicolored one, but might consider the change too much trouble. After all, they already know how to do what they’ve been doing. Their way works. Why change? Besides, maybe they don’t know any minority people. How can they write about people they don’t know?

Of course, ignorance may be a category unto itself. I’ve heard people I don’t consider lazy, racist, or bound by custom complain that they did not know enough about minorities and thus hesitated to write about them. Often, these people seem worried about accidentally giving offense.

But what do authors ordinarily do when they decide to write about an unfamiliar subject?

They research. They read—in this case recent biographies and autobiographies of people in the group they want to write about are good. They talk to members of that group—friends, acquaintances, co-workers, fellow students, even strangers on buses or waiting in lines. I’ve done these things myself in my reverse research, and they help. Also, I people-watch a lot without talking. Any public situation offers opportunities.

Some writers have gotten around the need for research by setting their stories in distant egalitarian futures when cultural differences have dwindled and race has ceased to matter. I created a future like this in my novel, Patternmaster, though I did not do it to avoid research. Patternmaster takes place in a time when psionic ability is all that counts. People who have enough of that ability are on top whether they’re male or female, black, white, or brown. People who have none are slaves. In this culture, a black like the novel’s main woman character would, except for her coloring, be indistinguishable from characters of any other race. Using this technique could get a writer accused of writing blacks as though they were whites in Coppertone, and it could be a lazy writer’s excuse for doing just that. But for someone who has a legitimate reason for using it, a story that requires it, it can be a perfectly valid technique.

More important than any technique, however, is for authors to remember that they are writing about people. Authors who forget this, who do not relax and get comfortable with their racially different characters, can wind up creating unbelievable, self-consciously manipulated puppets, pieces of furniture who exist within a story but contribute nothing to it, or stereotypes guaranteed to be offensive.

There was a time when most of the few minority characters in science fiction fell into one of these categories. One of the first black characters I ran across when I began reading science fiction in the fifties was a saintly old “uncle” (I’m not being sarcastic here. The man was described as saintly and portrayed asking to be called “uncle”) whom Harriet Beecher Stowe would have felt right at home with. I suspect that like the Sidney Poitier movies of the sixties, Uncle was daring for his time. That didn’t help me find him any more believable or feel any less pleased when he and his kind (Charlie Chan, Tonto, that little guy who swiped Fritos…) were given decent burials. Times have changed, thank heavens, and science fiction has come a long way from Uncle. Clearly, though, it still has a long way to go.