#i hope u guys understand about me wanted to keep this private

[neteyamlover69]

kinda a personal question sorry but how old are you? the about me is kinda messed up and idk if it says there

hi! even if the post was visible, i never disclosed my age because i wanted to keep some sort of privacy. however i am old enough to be in this app :)

and i’ll also try to fix my links later! sorry for the inconvenience

[martinmuhl]

⋆✧˚ ༘ i love you, im sorry

pair: caitlin clark x reader

warnings: none!

summary: you’ve been in a secret relationship with caitlin and you’ve finally had enough

hi loves! i don’t know why i wrote this lmao i was feeling angsty but dw there’s a happy ending :) i hope yall enjoy love u!!

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

“i wasn’t saying we go public now, cait. i was just asking if you thought we could sometime soon,” you say, tears welling in your eyes.

“god y/n, you know this stresses me out. i don’t know what to tell you, i can’t predict when we’ll go public. i just need time.” she covers her face with her hands, sighing.

you and caitlin had been dating for almost a year now, in private. the two of you had met back at iowa where you’d been a manger for the women’s basketball team and she’d been a player. the plan was to come out together as a couple after she graduated, but once that happened, caitlin was too nervous about the worlds opinion of her. then she said she would include your relationship in her draft speech, but she was too afraid. she was the #1 draft pick of course and more eyes than ever had tuned into her and the wnba. she kept telling you that after her first season, your guys’ secret could be shared. but the more and more you waited, the more and more exhausted you became keeping up with this secret. you started to think you’d have to live this way forever.

“i understand cait, i just hate living this way. i want to show you off and take you out on real dates. you are so important to me and i just hate hiding this part of my life,” you sigh. her face turned red, anger creeping onto it.

“i am the biggest name in the wnba right now, what do you expect me to do? you know i love you, but all eyes are on me and this could ruin my reputation. i’m in the running for rookie of the year, y/n, i need to focus on that.” she exclaims, throwing her arms into a shrug.

you felt a tear fall. this could ruin my reputation, she had said. “oh i’m so sorry that i could ruin your reputation. maybe you should’ve thought of that before asking me to move here and spend my life with you. you say you love me, but you’re a coward. is that how you want to live your life? hiding who you are? you told me we’d go public once we graduated, but that didn’t happen. then draft night and that didn’t happen either. what now? what about what i want? i understand that you’re under the public eye more than ever right now, but i wont sit around and wait forever.” you stand up, making your way toward your shared bedroom.

“where are you going? can we please just talk about this? i promise we’ll go public at the end of the season.” caitlin follows you and sees you packing a bag.

“i’m going to stay with lauren for a bit, i guess i just need some time too.” you say, shoveling clothes into the bag. maybe staying with your sister was best for you right now. you understood caitlin, but that didn’t mean that it didn’t break your heart a little more every time she went back on her word. you knew coming out wasn’t easy and especially when everyone was watching her, but you hated being led on. you loved her so much and couldn’t imagine your life without her, but if she was going to keep you hidden forever then you just couldn’t do it.

“please y/n, don’t go. i love you.” she pleads, grabbing your arm and trying to stop you for walking out the door. you rip your arm away.

“i love you too, but i deserve better than being your secret. i wouldn’t want to ruin your reputation,” you say with a sad smile and walk out the door. you truly loved her more than anything in this world, but when she went back on her word so much it was hard to trust her. you knew how hard this was on her, but it was hard on you too.

a few days after your argument, caitlin had tried to reach out everyday. you told her you needed some space and you’d talk to her when you were ready. caitlin on the other hand was going insane, worrying every second of the day. you were the best thing that had happened to her and she just let you get away like that? no, it wasn’t right. this wasn’t how you ended. caitlin knew that you were beginning to not trust her anymore, she was just so afraid of what everyone else would say. she felt exactly how you felt though. she was exhausted and was suffocating. she hated hiding who she was, and even more than that, she hated hiding you. especially every time she was asked if she was seeing anyone and she had to say no, she was focused on basketball. she hated disappointing you. she knew what she had to do. what she needed to do.

you settled on your sisters couch, laptop in your lap with the fever game on. caitlin was playing lights out, earning her first triple double and the first for a rookie. the fever ended up winning with a huge upset against the new york liberty. you were ecstatic for her, but you still felt a massive pit in your stomach due to your argument. nonetheless, she was still the girl you loved and you had to congratulate her.

you: congrats cait, i’m so proud of you

cait<3: thank you baby, i’m so sorry again. tune in for my post game interview?

you: of course

you turn on her post game interview, her sitting beside her teammate aliyah and her coach. they answered the standard questions, caitlin answering a few more because of her triple double. you can’t help but smile and feel proud of how hard she works. she deserves this. although you’re still upset with her, you can’t help but feel like you may have been a bit selfish. she has worked so hard for this moment and you didn’t want your relationship to become the big headline instead of her talent. sighing, you grab your phone to text her as her interview ends. then you hear her voice.

“wait. uh before we go, i just have something i want to say. i am so grateful for my teammates, coaches, and fans support, but none of this would be possible without the support of my girlfriend. our relationship is the most important thing in my life and i’ve been hiding it because i was scared… but im not scared anymore. i want to show her off and i want everyone to know her like i know her because she is amazing. y/n, if you’re watching this and i really hope you are, i love you and i really hope i see you at home,” she finishes with a smile. then she walks out. the room goes dead silent before the interview ends and the camera shuts off.

you were speechless. you couldn’t believe she just did that. everybody would know about the two of you now. after staring at your screen for what feels like an eternity in shock, you grab your bag and dash out of your sisters apartment. you quickly arrive back at your and caitlin’s apartment, sprinting up the stairs. you rush into the apartment and see caitlin sitting on the couch, hands covering her face. once she hears you open the door, she stands and takes a deep breath.

“cait i… i don’t know what to say. are you okay? im so sorry, i never meant to pressure you! your career is important and we can wait until-“ the words come flying out of your mouth, but she cuts you off. you are undoubtedly happy that you can finally live freely with her, but you still feel some guilt as she walks over to where you’re standing.

“baby just stop. you were right. you didn’t pressure me to do anything. i was a coward and i was miserable keeping us a secret. i love you and im so sorry for saying you would ruin my reputation. you are the best thing that has ever happened to me and i want you and everybody else to know that. the world deserves to know my beautiful girl, just like i do.” she breathes, putting her hands on your shoulders to bring you closer. she engulfs you into her arms and you release a sigh of relief, mumbling an i love you into her neck. as nervous as you were to check social media and see what everyone was saying, the two of you felt the happiest you’d been and you couldn’t wait to share each other with the world.

[scarletwinterxx]

i don't think i could love you more - joshua hong imagine

istg joshua owns this song, he's honestly all i can think about when i hear it🥺🥺 i used to think i met him too late but this is joshua, he'll probably say there's no such thing as late. I met him just right when I needed him the most🤍

anywaysss I hope you like it!

for my other svt fics, check them here

if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)

"On a scale of 1 to 10, how bad is it?"

"Uh like a 9" Jeonghan answers, leading you where the rest of the boys were. A few of them got together and had drinks. One drink turned into two then three until they all lost count of how many bottles were opened as the night progressed.

Atleast one of them was smart enough not to get too hammered, that person being Jeonghan. Thus he was left with the task to get the boys home safely.

"How did you not get as drunk as them?" you ask when you saw your friends on varying states of unconsciousness. Soonyoung is already passed out on one side of the couch, Seungkwan and Dino having a sing off using a spoon while Seungcheol is also singing with eyes closed while hugging an equally drunk Joshua who also looks like he's two blinks from collapsing.

"Well someone has to make out alive here" he gestures to the rest of your friends all passed out and drunk

"Take your pick of the litter" Jeonghan jokes, picking a few bottles from the floor to tidy up a bit. He'll probably make the others clean it tomorrow, for now he needs to fix the safety hazards.

You walk towards where Joshua sat, tapping him on the shoulder making the guy look up at you. A look of surprise flashing across his face,

"Oh wait what?! What are you doing here? Cheol look I told my girlfriend was coming!" he hits Seungcheol repeatedly to get his attention.

The rest of the boys are already to out of it to understand or remember Joshua's word but the only sober one is now laughing behind you.

You look over at Jeonghan who is already looking at you with a sly smile, "Don't worry, your not so secret is safe with me. The rest of them is too drunk to remember what's happening"

"Dumbass that's not your girlfriend, that's Y/N!" Seungcheol retorts

"She is my girlfriend! Right, love? I'm your boyfriend right? Tell him" Joshua pushes Seungcheol off him to reach for you, grabbing hold of your arm

"Yes you are, and right now we need to get you home" you brush back the bangs that's over his eyes, admiring your boyfriend for a quick second

"You're so pretty, yah why is my girlfriend so pretty" Joshua gushes, the dopey drunk smile showing on his pretty lips making you smile too.

"Is that how he sounds when he's with you?" Jeonghan jokes

"Pretty much" you joke back, running your hand through Joshua's hair. You then look down at your drunk boyfriend who is now hugging you by the waist keeping you in place.

"You know, he always had a crush on you. If you remember the first game night you attended, he couldn't keep his eyes off of you"

You do remember, Soonyoung was the first friend you made during your first year in university and after a couple of months he introduced you to his group of friends who are now also your friends. That night you also met Joshua for the first time.

The two of you were friends for a long time, you thought he didn't like you that way but you already harbored those feelings for him. Thinking it was best to keep it to yourself until after time you sent him the playlist you made for him.

You never revealed it because there wasn't really a feeling that you needed to. You kept your relationship private at first because you wanted to savor the moment with him before sharing it with the rest of your friends. Weeks turned to months turned to 2 years.

There's no ill intention behind it, it just so happen you and Joshua are private people.

"What?" you ask Jeonghan when you see him smiling

"When are you going to admit it?" Jeonghan asks you, looking back and forth between you and Joshua.

"Admit what?"

The latter shakes his head, before grabbing a water bottle to drink. "You and him, you love him" he says so casually.

You blink back at him, acting like you're innocent and isn't guilty of what Jeonghan just said.

"Of course I do, he's my friend. I love all of you"

"You love us like brothers, you love that one like you're ready to give him a pair of brothers or two" Jeonghan juts his head towards clingy Joshua

"Were we that obvious?"

"A bit, you're not that slick, sorry to burst your bubble babe but the moment Joshua walks in the room you light up like a kid seeing Santa on Christmas day. See you're smiling right now"

You wipe the smile away, unconsciously smiling when you feel Joshua nuzzle his face on your tummy mumbling random words you can't understand.

"I'm smiling because he's funny"

"He's not that funny all the time"

"Yea he is"

"Is he really? Or are you in love with him. Also during Wonwoo's party, Kyeom and Soonyoung said they saw you and Joshua hugging then Dino basically told us there's been something going on between the two of you for a while"

You open your mouth you answer but nothing came out making Jeonghan smirk.

"Hey, you're happy he's happy it's a win for everyone. We support you guys, whatever it is" he gestures at the two of you, "Thank you Han, I'll tell you about it when we're not surrounded by all of this" you laugh.

"Josh, come on it's late"

Your buff boyfriend shakes his head like a little kid being scolded, instead of standing up he just slumps on seat more resting his head on Cheol's shoulder

"It's late, Han will kick you out if we don't go now"

He picks up his head to look straight at you, "Say you'll marry me, I'll come with you"

Jeonghan laughs, walking over to you to help you get Joshua on his feet. He gives you a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder

"Go take this one home, I'll take care of the rest"

You help Joshua on his feet, guiding him to your car outside. He was a bit wobbly so you take his arm to make sure he won't fall over.

When you get back to your apartment, you help him change into something else before guiding him to bed. Leaving some medicine and water on his bedside before going over to your side and finally calling it a day.

Come the next day, Joshua woke up with a bit of a hangover which rarely happens. He doesn't get that drunk that easily but Seungcheol kept on giving him shots, the last thing he remembers from last night was calling you.

He immediately noticed the empty spot on the bed, where he would usually find you the moment he opens his eyes. His phone is plugged, sitting on top of the bedside table where a glass of water and some medicine is also waiting for him. He also spots the note with your handwriting saying you're out to go get a few items at the store.

Getting up from the bed, he takes the medicine first before going to the bathroom to freshen up. He probably didn't get to do so last night, the change of clothes surely was done by you. He can't clearly remember how last night ended, all he remembers is you showing up and him being elated you were there.

After an hour, Joshua's casually lounging on the living room when he hears the front door open and close.

"Hey beautiful"

Joshua looks up from where he was sitting on the couch, immediately he smiles when he sees you walking towards him.

"What did you just call me?" he questions you, opening his arms for you. The whole couch is there for you to sit on but he pulls on you his lap, looking up at your face waiting for the answer

"Beautiful" you smile at him, repeating the word as you trace the bridge of his nose down to the tip making him scrunch it. The action doing so much to your heart.

"You're beautiful" he tells you, "Did you get everything at the store?"

"Mhm, we'll make pizza tonight. Oh and I got these for you"

He lets you got so you can go back to the table to get it, when you come back you're holding a bouquet of fresh flowers

"Pretty flowers for my pretty boyfriend" you tell him, going back to where you were sitting on his lap. He takes the flowers from you while you make your self comfortable, "For me?"

"Mhm, saw them today and I thought I should get them for you"

"Did I do something?"

"Huh? No?"

"Did YOU do something?" he raises a brow at you, poking you on the side with his free hand

"Hey! Stop that" you take his hand in yours to stop him from tickling you some more, "I just wanted to get them for you, like you always do for me. And I heard somewhere that most men only receive flowers at the funeral. That's so sad" you pout, looking at the beautiful flowers you got for him

Joshua watches you, heart filling up with more love than he could ever express with words. "You know I love you right?"

This makes you look back at him, a smile forming once again on your lips "Of course I do, silly"

"Thank you for the flowers, darling. I love them. I love you and thank you for taking care of me last night"

You let out a chuckle, recalling how clingy he was the night before "You were being all cute last night, Han witnessed all of it"

"Should we tell them?" he asks you, expecting you to say maybe not but all you did was smile back at him "Bubby, you pretty much demanded that I marry you or you won't come home. You kept on hitting Cheol, saying I'm your girlfriend but he won't believe you. Soonyoung was passed out so I'm still waiting for his version of last night's event"

"I... what?"

You laugh at his confused expression, smoothing out the crease between his brows, "We can tell them, Han knows and I think all of them already has a hint. I think it's time, I definitely enjoyed this peace" you jokingly add the last part

"You sure?"

"Of course, how else would we invite them to our wedding?"

Joshua knows you're poking fun at his drunk antics last night but hearing you say that makes him want to get down on one knee this very moment. There's no doubt you're the one for him, the only person he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

"So you said yes to me last night?" he asks

"Just when we were about to sleep, you asked me again. I said I will but you need to get me a ring first of course I was joking about the ring part but then you mumbled something about having it already"

Joshua don't say anything, hoping you don't read right through his facade right now but you know him all too well.

Leaning closer, you give him an eskimo kiss "I'll pretend you didn't tell me about it if you do plan on asking me"

"I am, I will I just didn't think drunk me would ask you first" he jokes back.

This time he's the one pulling you closer, crashing your lips against his. Hand behind your neck while the other rest on your hip holding you in place

You break away from the kiss, looking straight into your lover's eyes "Well, whatever or whoever version of you ask the question just know my answer will always be the same"

He looks at you, letting the words sink in and just how much they mean to him. "You know, I don't think I can love you more, then I get to spend another tomorrow with you then I fall in love with you some more. I want to keep on falling in love with you everyday"

"You better save those words Mr. Hong, I want to cry when I hear your wedding vows"

"The only time I'll ever make you cry, future Mrs. Hong"

[thetraingotsetonfireonmidnight]

Can u do bakugou and shoyo x male reader? Maybe where people realize they are dating?

I wasn't sure if you wanted them separately or as a poly relationship, so I did both (poly is at the bottom) lol. Hope you enjoy!!

Warnings: Bakugou being Bakugou. (Very) brief mentions of homophobia.

𝔅𝔞𝔨𝔲𝔤𝔬𝔲 𝔎𝔞𝔱𝔰𝔲𝔨𝔦:

When you and Bakugou first started dating, coming out to everyone was the last thing on his mind.

He's not a very public person, because to be quite frank– his love life is no one else's business.

He's the kind of person who let's his friends find out stuff about him on their own. Never ever will you catch this man directly telling anyone anything about himself because his life is no one's business and he stands by that.

It takes awhile for anyone to catch on, mainly because Bakugou isn't into PDA.

So Class 1-A practically drives themselves crazy trying to figure out if you're actually a thing.

On one hand, you both are constantly low-key flirting.

But on the other hand, Bakugou still very much calls you names such as dickhead and asswipe.

Plus no one has ever seen you two be physically affectionate so

There's no way, right??

Wrong, you two got caught kissing.

It was wrong time wrong place.

Bakugou gave you a small peck goodbye, and Mina had seen it.

And because Mina can't keep a secret to save her life, everyone found out.

Bakugou wasn't exactly thrilled, he preferred it when everyone wasn't "up his ass" about his relationship.

"Bakugou! Why didn't you tell us you were dating Y/N?!"

"BECAUSE IT'S NONE OF YOUR GOD DAMN BUSINESS, FUCKWAD. HAD IT BEEN UP TO ME, YOU STILL WOULDN'T HAVE KNOWN ABOUT IT."

Now thing is, everyone is shocked up also not shocked.

On hand, you two were always together so it just made sense

But on the other...it's Bakugou. He's the least desirable person to ever exist, why in the world would you choose him?

Eventually everyone chills out, and it's back to normal.

Nothing really changes. You and Bakugou still aren't too openly affectionate...

Untilll...

"Katsuki? Do you ever worry about how some people are going to react to us...you know, dating?"

"What do you mean?" He turns to face you. You're sprawled out on his bed spouting out depressing shit all of a sudden while he's trying to study.

"I'm glad that our friends are supportive but...not everyone is going to be as accepting as they are. Does that not worry you?"

He scoffs. You're an idiot for thinking that.

"Of course not. I don't need anyone's permission, I can date whoever the fuck I want...and so can you. I love you, and no one's going to change that."

After that, he's determined to be more openly loving towards you.

Just to prove to you that no one else's opinions matter to him.

𝔗𝔬𝔡𝔬𝔯𝔬𝔨𝔦 𝔖𝔥𝔬𝔱𝔬:

Todoroki is similar to Bakugou when it comes to his private life: it's private.

He often makes impulsive decisions without consulting the people around him, and one of those decisions happened to be dating you.

You two got together...and he just never said anything to anyone.

Not because he was scared to, he's not afraid of being judged for who he loves.

And it wasn't because he's not comfy with PDA, because he's perfectly ok with it.

That's actually how everyone found out.

He straight up walked over to you in front of everyone:

"Hey babe, happy to see you."

Kiss on the cheek.

Everyone stops breathing.

Todoroki...the guy who claimed he didn't come to school to make friends...was dating someone.

Minds were blown.

"Todoroki?? Why didn't you ever say anything???"

"I didn't need to??"

"But you do??"

"Oh well...I'm dating Y/N."

No one saw this coming.

Todoroki didn't seem like the kind of guy to date, and no one ever saw you two hanging out so???

This came out of no where.

Some of his friends didn't even know who you were because they've never heard of you.

Not because Shoto is ashamed of you or anything— he just doesn't understand why he needs to talk about his personal life.

You're the person he's dating, so from his understanding, you're the only one who needs to know that.

The guy doesn't understand why everyone feels the need to know about his love life.

When you bring up your concern about some people being not so accepting towards your relationship, Todoroki shrugs.

"Would it make you more comfortable if I were less affectionate with you in public?"

If yes, Todoroki completely respects that.

He respects it a little to hard though because he'll flat out stand on the opposite side of the room.

You love him, but sometimes he was an idiot.

If no, then Todoroki questions why anyone else's input should matter.

"They aren't dating us, so why should they care? If anyone has anything to say, I will talk to them."

He 100% means that btw

Will stand up for you if someone makes a comment about your relationship.

He loves you. End of sentence.

Bonus: Endeavor isn't too happy about the relationship because he doesn't want Todoroki getting distracted from his hero work. Todoroki responds by sending his father pictures of him and you together as a sweet little fuck you.

𝔓𝔬𝔩𝔶!𝔗𝔬𝔡𝔬𝔯𝔬𝔨𝔦 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔅𝔞𝔨𝔲𝔤𝔬𝔲:

This relationship is a dumpster fire.

Sorry, have to be blunt with you, everything is going right and wrong again the same time.

Mainly because of thing 1 and thing 2 over here.

How they go about relationships is so different yet similar and it throws them both off.

While they both agree that their private life is private— Their views on PDA collide

Now if you ask Bakugou, it's not his fault that the secret got out about you all dating.

Todoroki was challenging him.

Todoroki likes holding ur hand in public.

Bakugou would usually oppose to it, but he felt so left out.

So being as stubborn as he is, he grabs your other hand- making sure it made a loud SMACK to grab everyone's attention. (Dw, ur hand is ok)

Todoroki looks over curiously, "Bakugou, I thought you did not like public display of affection."

"Tch, no shit I don't! But like hell you're going to third wheel me!"

"Bakugou, No one is third wheeling—"

"AND GOD DAMN IT, ICY HOT, MY NAME IS KATSUKI. KATSUKI. USE IT!"

You awkwardly stand there wishing for death to take you as everyone immediately stares at your dysfunctional trio.

Bakugou and Todoroki arguing? That's normal

But both of them holding your hands??? Bakugou telling Todoroki to call him by his first name???

"You three are totally swapping spit." Mineta is the first to say something. While everyone yells at him for his bluntness, they had to admit, he said the exact thing they were all thinking.

You three would definitely get some questions from the class

They're supportive, don't get me wrong.

They've just never been exposed to a poly couple so

They're all very confused.

More so confused about how you got Todoroki and Bakugou agree to it.

After the whole ordeal is dealt with, you gave them a stern talking to about how they need to learn to get along.

"You completely outed us, Bakugou!"

"Yeah yeah, I know Y/N. I'm sorry."

You thought you were making some progress until Todoroki opened his mouth.

"All because you were jealous about me holding his hand–"

"I WASN'T JEALOUS, SHIT FOR BRAINS. MY HAND WAS COLD, SHUT UP."

Your boyfriends are disasters.

Get them some help.

[vampynights]

:D HIHIIII i'm back w another ryan rq LOLL can u write any sort of hcs about cuddling or physical affection w him please ^_^ !!!!!!! sorry if this is too vague, just lmk if it is!!!! 💘 (:

✰a/n: HELLO AGAIN ANON!! wonderful to hear from u and get another request!! I completely understand what you want, and since you so politely asked, you shall receive! this is so random but the song i had on repeat while writing this was ‘kiss me’ by sixpence none the richer and i feel like it really just adds to the overall vibe so i highly suggest listening while reading !!! hope you enjoy and have a wonderful day<33

✰RYAN ROSS — physical affection with ryan headcanons 

✰warnings: none tbh!! just pure fluff

(i love this gif sm.)

–ryan is definitely a lot more reserved when it comes to physical affection in the beginning of your relationship

–he’s pretty reserved overall tbh at first, it takes a bit to get him out of his shell

–in the beginning you’d probably have to initiate somethings or hint to him that you’d like to do certain things

–for example, if you wanted him to grab your hand you’d probably have to do that cliche ‘putting your hand super close to him till your pinky’s are touching’ thing to make him notice

–this is probably weird and stupid but i feel like he has like sweaty palms LOL (i do too, i understand the pain.)

–like, you hold his hand for too long and all of a sudden it’s like holding hands with someone who’s sprinkled a shit ton of water onto their hands

–he gets super embarrassed abt it too and you kinda just have to laugh it off and like tell him it’s okay without making a big deal out of it either…?

–once he gets into the habit though his hands are like ALWAYS on yours. 

–underneath tables, while you two are walking, if you’re sitting next to each other, when i saw always I MEAN ALWAYS 

–now moving on from the hand holding, cuddling is a little easier for him to get used to, funnily enough

–his excuse is probably that cuddling is done mostly in private meanwhile hand holding is public a lot of the time and he gets kinda shy

–he is like the perfect mix of little spoon and big spoon

–like he really does not mind being either tbh, he’ll only have a preference if he’s in a REALLY bad mood (in which case he’ll probably wanna be little spoon) but generally, he doesn’t care, as long as he’s holding you he’s chill.

–he’s got a fucking GRIP

–cuddling with him is like signing away your life tbh, once you go into his arms he will not let you out for almost ANYTHING

–this mf definitely is the type to hug you from behind when you’re doing literally anything 

–don’t cook in front of him unless you want your mobility to be restricted because he won’t let go of you

–ok im sorry for saying this but hear me out ok, he’s a “where’s my hug at?” guy

–BUT NOT IN THE WEIRD WAY I MUST EMPHASIZE 

–if you come home the first thing he does is playfully ask you “where’s my hug at?” and opens his arm wide

–when you guys are cuddling on the couch he loves to have your legs over his lap and your head on his shoulder

–if you guys are in public however it’s a little harder to get him to cuddle

–the best you’ll get is him wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you close, but he wouldn’t have you on his lap or anything 

–he’s so clingy when he’s drunk

–he comes homes after drinking and the first thing he is doing is latching onto you (keep an eye on him at all times or he might vomit on you. gross.) 

–if you wear his favorite perfume he will purposefully cuddle you A LOT just to smell it

–like you’ll be chilling with him and then literally feel AND hear him sniffing and you’re just like 

–”did you just sniff me?”

–”no?”

–he gaslights you about it cause he get’s embarrassed but you both know the truth

–in summary, he’s clingy as shit and wants to hold you more than anything in the world but also chill out in public otherwise he’ll die 

[somewhereincairparavel]

could u do something about thalia never showing up for jason? in the end of tlh he was hoping she’d show up for the counselors meeting and she didn’t so maybe a series of him making plans with her/trying to get in touch with her and just being disappointed every time… not thalia hate i love u thalia she just is too busy for him (while doing it during the months between tlh and son could be cool i think in between boo and toa would be more angsty bc u know he’s going through a breakup!!! he’s all alone in this random private school he isn’t familiar with the mortal world and he just wants his sister but she isn’t there!!!)

Two times Jason Grace wrote Thalia a letter, and the one time he didn't send it.

author's note: Ah this is so angsty and perfecttt :( The Grace siblings deserved more…they're my faves fr.. anyway, I hope I did justice to your request anon! Thank you for requesting, it made my day! I thoroughly enjoyed writing this. I just finished my exams and I'm back to having more time for writing :) you guys can send me more angsty jason prompts like this one if you want to, I'll write them with the best of my capabilities, I'm quite new to heavy angst like this so I was surprised when I was able to finish this within an hour. Jason Grace does this to me.

TW: severe angst. I mean it, very severe, character death, mentions of sacrifice, no happy ending. I went all out, I'm sorry. I was just way too into this.

Jason traced his finger over the glossy photo frame in his hands, which encrusted a picture of his older sister, Thalia. He had requested Leo to help him with the framing, the edges were made with a mahogany coating. He smiled at the lovely picture of his sister, her hair being held together by her silver huntress circlet, wearing her punk rock clothes. 

Over the course of the summer, He had finally gotten the chance to take a good picture of Thalia for a family keepsake, he had held on to the tattered, torn picture of Thalia that annabeth had given to him before his first quest, and he still treasured it greatly. But he insisted that Thalia and him take at least one good picture before she disappeared with her maidens into the world, for months. 

“And then Leo said-” Jason was cut off by thalia’s fellow maiden Phoebe, rushing towards them, yelling for thalia. 

“Lady Thalia, lady Artemis is heavily in need of your assistance immediately!” Phoebe said panting. Thalia frowned and her eyes apologetically turned back to Jason. “I'll be there” she told her fellow huntress, before giving Jason a strangling hug. “I'm so sorry Jason, we'll talk later yeah?” Jason swallowed his disappointment after he saw how truly apologetic Thalia looked. “Of course, stay safe for me?” Thalia smiled sweetly and nodded at that before trudging up the path.

That was the last time he had seen of Thalia in months, and there was only one way to settle this. Jason decided to send in letters to his sister, that way, she could read it and keep them with her, and he could tell her everything without getting interrupted by anyone. He soon learnt to cherish this hobby alot. He loved his sister, and writing to her gave him a warm sense of comfort. He needed that, especially after Leo's death.

“Dear Thalia,

How have you been sis? I hope your mission with Phoebe to help Artemis went well! It's been pretty tough lately. My nightmares are plagued with pictures of mom. I know you of all people would understand how horrific that feels. I miss Leo, and piper's been acting a little strange around me lately.. but Leo's disappearance is taking a toll on her. So I get it. Nico is finally staying in camp half blood, isn't that great?? That boy deserved a break for once. Anyways, write back if you can, but if you can't, that's fine, I know you're busy.

–love, your annoying little brother.

Weeks, and months flew by, but still no response from Thalia. But he knew better than to take it seriously. Jason knew that she had gotten the letter, and that was enough for him. Well, that was enough, until things went downhill for him very quickly. Piper had approached him in the school corridor and thought it was a great day to end their year long relationship, shattering Jason's soul to pieces, this, coupled with the immense amount of pressure he had to build the minor god shrines, Jason felt numb, and he did what he usually did. He poured his heart out to Thalia in another letter, seeking comfort in his ink and paper. Longing for thalia’s presence once more.

“Dear Thalia,

it's me again, I hope you're doing good, atleast better than I am. I've been feeling terrible lately, Piper ended things with me, i guess we finally know why she was acting the way she did around me, huh? She said our relationship was only hera’s illusion and didn't feel that way about me anymore, which sucks, since I'm still very much in love with her. The pressure has increased tenfolds on me these days, the minor gods are heavily anticipating the promise I told them I'd keep. I'm planning on moving schools so i don't have to deal with the heartbreak of seeing Piper in school anymore. Anyways, I just wanted to write to you since it makes me feel better. Sending you lots of love from California.

— love, Your annoying little brother 

Minutes. Hours. Days. Weeks. Months. 

Jason knew. The moment the sibyl told him about looking for the third emperor. Jason knew, that his doomsday was going to knock on his doorstep very soon. He was going to sacrifice himself for Piper. And nobody was changing his mind. Jason stared out his dormitory window, the outside mortal world looked a little too cheery for the melancholic thoughts that were chasing his mind. He averted his gaze to the person in the picture frame hanging at his wall. Thalia had always been too busy for him. They had never had a proper full conversation together, one on one conversations getting disrupted, iris messages wearing out within a few minutes, even his letters never got a reply, or even a single acknowledgement. 

Yet jason knew, that Thalia Grace was the only one who loved him more than anything in the world. She didn't have to spend time with him for him to know that. He knew by the way she had only left their childhood home after Jason was deemed “dead”, he knew by the way she had picked a two year old jason up  after he injured his mouth with that stapler,he knew by the way she played hide and seek when they were little, he knew by the way she had told no one about him, not even annabeth, since he was a memory that she held close to her heart. So subconsciously, his hands wrapped around the pen he always used to write with. With shaky hands, and teary eyes slowly dripping in the paper, he began to write.

Thalia was resting on the rocks, thinking of how Jason was doing, she had recieved all his letters and read them through atleast 2 times. She wanted to respond, but it kept slipping her mind. Something had always come up, but now, she was finally free. Just as she was about to pick up her pen, she heard her name being called.

“Thalia!”

It was Reyna. She was holding an envelope, Thalia’s spirits skyrocketed at the thought of her brother sending her another letter. But.. why was it being sent through Reyna..? It was usually always sent by Jason's wind manipulation. Those letters would float towards her. That's how she always knew it was from her brother.

She was expecting Reyna to tease about Jason's cheesy letters to his sister, but what she wasn't expecting, was for Reyna to start sobbing on the spot, breaking out the news that her younger brother was dead. 

Jason. Her little stapler eating brother. Was dead.

“This was found by Meg in Jason's desk.” Reyna shakily handed Thalia the envelope. It was a blue envelope, the usual colour that Jason always sent to her. And on top of it, was his smudy handwriting that Thalia could recognise from a mile away. The letter was signed “To Thalia Grace”.

Thalia opened it carefully but tears were leaking out of her eyes.

“Dear Thalia,

there's something that I've been keeping for a while now, but I know it's finally the time to tell you this. I met the sibyl in the labryinth who had told me that my life would be cut short. if went looking for the third emperor, Caligula, either me or Piper would be killed. There's no point denying the inevitable is going to happen. Prophecy's can never be thwarted, after all. I've made my choice, I'm not letting Piper die. I've decided that I am going to use myself as a sacrifice. I'm writing you this, to let you know, that, I love you. I love you so much sis, I hope you know that. I know we've never got to see eachother much, but I don't want you blaming yourself in any way for this. I hope you know that, writing to you, even without a response from your side all these months, has helped my life feel a lot more meaningful. the mere thought of you taking the time to read my letters makes me feel so loved. So happy. Now that I know that I might be meeting my end, I'm letting you know, that I've cherished every single thing you've ever said to me. Including the fact that you hate tomatoes on your sandwiches. Take care of yourself, sis, I'm always with you.

  — love, for the last time, your annoying little brother :)

Thalia clutched the letter with her heart, screaming in agony. Thunder boomed angrily overhead, almost as if her father could feel her rage. Her heart strings were tearing apart. She sobbed, as she looked up at the blue sky, the same blue as Jason's darling eyes.

“I love you too. My annoying little brother, always”

[cumulo-stratus]

BAU autism headcannons

(GIF NOT MINE)

(male reader)

CW: possible swearing, mentions of meltdowns and overstimulation, lemme know if theres anything else!

A/N: sry i havent rly posted in a while, i started a school recently and its been a rly big change for me so ive just been emotionally/mentally exhausted like all the time, but i dont wanna abandon u guys so i decided i would get something up, even if its not super good, thanks for y’all’s understanding <3

i think both JJ and Emily would become sort of mothers to reader

(not that they werent already mothers to the rest of the team but reader especially)

like JJ would totally have a motherly instinct for readers needs (like a sort of spider sense)

like if your ever nervous about something being too much or being overwhelming, jj would kinds know this and either make arrangements for accommodations or make sure you know you dont have to go if you want to.

and like she definitely wold put herself in charge of keeping your safe foods stashed on the jet and at the office

emily is more of a mother in a protective way than jj is

like this girl will not hesitate at all to go off on someone for maybe being disrespected to about stimming your chair while thinking

or like if you dont want to shake a police officers hand when your being introduced, and you get dirty/weird looks for it, or anyone comments on it? BOOM this girl will stare at them with so much animosity they’ll be scared of her shes so hot oml

anyways i thinks he team would be super accepting of you, especially if you joined after reid like they would already have some experience with autism

and like if you weren’t ent comfortable telling anyone other than hotch(i feel like it would be like a in ur file thing idk how the government works tho) spencer would defo be able to tell and confront u privately abt it (our respectful king <3)

and if you are comfortable telling the team, everyone would be respectful

i think like rossi/gideon would be a little clueless but like trying their hardest

like rossi would have no idea what stimming is but understands that like you move in certain ways or make certain noises when ur excited

and like with all his money he wouldnt hesitate to spoil u with any fidget toy u need/want or like a rly nice weighted blanket (its insane how expensive those things are)

and like gideon despite his profound understanding of others (hope yall got that ;)) he wouldn’ t get why sometimes you dont feel like/cant talk but totally respects it

omg garcia is our autism ally QUEEN im telling you

always has a big basket of fidgets/stim toys sitting on her desk and when your having a rough day shell leave you a little goodie in a brightly colored and decorated bag

i firmly believe that she is the queen at finding brands with clothes that not only fits your style perfectly but is also sensory friendly

i think she would definitely say that if she never ended up working in the FBI she wouldve started a clothing shop for sensory friendly clothing/accessories

spencer would totallllyyyy be your best friend when it comes to being under-stimulated

he will totally info dump on you and vice-versa

spencer (like penlope) would totally recommend clothing brands that are sensory friendly, but sock brands in particular

and everyone makes fun of you for nerding out over everything

also spencer would definitely get in the habit of grabbing your hands in his when you start to pick a t your nails and cuticles

like he didnt even realize what he was doing the first time but now he does it without thinking about it and for the team its normal

“hey,” and he would gently grab your hands to stop you from picking at them

“sorry..”

”youve nothing to be sorry for” (with that little reid smile oml rf[osifjgturhv)

and i also firmly believe that morgan is the best people to go to if your having a meltdown

he would stop you from harmfully stimming

“hey sugar, unclench those pretty little hands for me. there we go… good job kid.” he would have the softest smile and voice

and when he takes your hands to stop you from hitting yourself his grip is rly firm but gentle

but hotch is the best to go to for when your overstimulated

like he would make sure you know his office is always a quiet place you can go to with out questions

and he would secretly have a stash of like stimm toys in his office that he stole from garcia

his couch is always open to you, especially like late at night if you are really tired his fatherly instincts will kick in and force you to come to his office for a break

he would would hand you and blanket and a stim toy

”sit. sleep”

thats all he would say in his cute little stern but actually caring voice <3

[lovebvni]

Pick - A - Pile !! (old, 10.30.21)

Hey my loves! I'm doing bi-weekly pick a piles now! While I was shuffling a bit tarot was calling my gay ass out so uHmMMM yeah!

Today we will be answering 5 questions submitted by the one and only Rozy!! If you have any  questions, you can dm me for a private reading or submit them in the comments~ The questions I use will be shouted out by the submitter.

I also put the cards I pulled for your own interpretation if you understand how tarot works <3

The 5 questions for today are...

1) Why are you not shifting? (some advice)

2) What major steps can YOU take to advance in your shifting journey?

3) How do people see you in your dr?

4) Little message from your s/o.

5) What your s/o thinks about you *when they get to know you ofc*

Breathe in.. Now breathe out...

Listen to your intuition and pick an emoji

🎗️ | 🎃 |🔮| 🎴

Hi pile 1!

Welcome to your reading! Take what resonates and leave the rest! If this pile doesn't say anything that goes with you, then try the other piles! I know everyone doing this pick a pile is supposed to be here so! 

1) Why are you not shifting? (some advice)

Cards : 2 of Swords reversed, Ace of cups reversed, Page of Pentacles.

There's a liar in your life, perhaps someone you were close to and they're bring you down in some way?? "Honesty is the best  policy". They're being unfair to you in some way? Maybe its you bringing yourself down? STOP THAT! YOU'RE LYING TO YOURSELF YOU'RE POWERFUL AND CAN SHIFT! Go on Youtube and search some shifting motivation! Now!!

2) What major steps can YOU take to advance in your shifting journey?

Cards : 2 of Swords, King of Wands reversed, Strength reversed.

Plan ahead, maybe start a shifting routine! That will help you, a lot! Look to someone with a good shifting routine for advice, don't overwork yourself so that you HAVE to do it, just some simple things. Work on your hope and desire to shift, stop just being like 'Dammit didn't shift again' KEEP TRYING DAMMIT!

3) How do people see you in your dr?

Cards : Knight of Cups, 8 of Wands reversed, Ace of Pentacles.

Maybe as someone who's famous, with a lot of money, a protector, 111% a protector, you aren't so much territorial, more as wanting to keep everything and everyone safe. Maybe you're privilaged (I CANT SPELL) but you also want to protect EVERYONE you meet no matter if they're like Bakugou or Deku.

4) Little message from your s/o.

Cards : The Moon reversed, Judgement, Ace of Swords reversed.

Stop being so fearful, I love you no matter what you look like. You're so pretty/handsome. You're so smart and I can tell. The Universe knows you deserve this and I'm sorry that it seems hard to you. Hold on, everything is gonna work out for the better. Love u lots!

5) What your s/o thinks about you *when they get to know you ofc*

Cards : 5 of Wands, 7 of Pentacles reversed, The Chariot.

You're a fighter, You don't take no for an answer and they admire you for that! You keep moving forward no matter how hard its getting, I know you can do anything you put your mind to. Pick your head up, screw it back on, and keep walking. Run. You're getting closer everyday.

Phrases and numbers: Almost there - Disney's Tiana, 3, 9, 7 ,64, 30, Halloween, IcyHot, "God help me.", "Good greef", "I need my damn music shut up"

pile 2

Welcome pile 2!

This is your reading, only take what resonates. Check out the other piles if you don't get anything from this one!

1) Why are you not shifting? (some advice)

Cards : King of Wands, Knight of Pentacles, King of Cups.

All suited cards, wow. You guys def have something going on that you're trying to fight, try to put that aside and work on shifting some more. Have more hope and try manifesting - maybe even sigils.

2) What major steps can YOU take to advance in your shifting journey?

Cards : Temperance, 8 of Cups, Knight of Swords.

Be patient, remember divine timing. You have so much to give, try some new hobbies and you are ADDICTED to trying to shift - take a break please. Over working yourself to shift and not taking a break makes it even harder to shift in my opinion, take a break this weekend.

3) How do people see you in your dr?

Cards : 8 of Pentacles, 10 of Pentacles, and 3 of Pentacles

All I'm getting is someone who's rich LMFAO!! Rich in spirit maybe? You're probably social in your dr with your family, lots of family events and shit. Hanging out with friends, I don't see you going to like high school parties or anything, just gathering with your friends.

4) Little message from your s/o.

Cards : 9 of Swords reversed, 3 of Wands, 8 of Cups reversed.

They think about you, a lot. They see you as someone smart, funny, and a little bit SPICY. They love you so much - the song Electric Love comes to mind

5) What your s/o thinks about you *when they get to know you ofc*

Cards : King of Swords reversed, 4 of Pentacles, 10 of Swords reversed

Like you're their wish, the thing they've been waiting and hoping for - FOR A LONG TIME. Maybe manifesting you just they love you and don't want to let you go. They're worried you may not like them overtime to reassure them when you shift.

Phrases and numbers: "Get your head from between your legs", "MONEYYYY", Electric Love, Denki Kaminari, I wanna be your slave, Wii Tennis *game and song*, Shoto Todoroki, Katsuki Bakugou, Hanta Sero, Eijiro Kirishima, ADHD, 444, 222, 764

pile 3

How ya doin pile 3?? *bites lip*

Remember, this is a GENERAL reading so only take what you feel resonates. Check out the other piles if you dont feel like anything resonates. Some of you guys may have been drawn to pile 2 so check that one out too. TW: ABUSE/SELF-HARM, TRAUMA.

1) Why are you not shifting? (some advice)

Cards : The Tower reversed, Page of Cups, The Hierophant reversed.

Idk why but whenever I get the Hierophant card my throat starts closing up? Idk if you feel like someones choking you out sometimes, or something. You feel like everything is against you, please don't think that - that's the reason you aren't shifting. Something is falling apart in your life, maybe take a short break for your mental health.

2) What major steps can YOU take to advance in your shifting journey?

Cards : King of Swords, 2 of Wands, The Moon.

Embrace your power, you're like the most POWERFUL PERSON EVER!  Also try and talk to some tarot readers/ mediums and ask them what you should change in your habits. You're going to shift soon tho! Success is around the corner.

3) How do people see you in your dr?

Cards : 10 of Cups reversed, 5 of Wands reversed, Page of Wands.

This is from a sibling/co-workers perspective. You're not one to argue when people are wrong, rather rant how they were wrong to yourself later, someone who would talk to a wall. They look up to you and think you're pretty cool

4) Little message from your s/o.

Cards : Justice, 3 of Cups, 5 of Wands

They see you as someone who's cool and collected. You deserve the world and you bring everyone joy when you talk to them, you probably drink in your dr so you're a little bit COOCOO

5) What your s/o thinks about you *when they get to know you ofc*

Cards : 2 of Cups, The Empress, Death.

You're the only person they trust enough to rant to ;c Sorry that's adorable. They probably look down on themselves in one way or another, and you really help them with that. They see you as royalty, they'd do almost anything for you - LIKE LITERALLY SACRIFICE THEIR LIFE - BESTIE UR INTO ANGST STOP!!

Phrases and numbers : Eijiro Kirishima, ADHD, "I love you to the moon and back", Burn - Billie Eilish, Fire signs, firey personality, Katsuki Bakugou, Shoto Todoroki, Trauma, Triggers. 3, 333, 9, any multiple of 3 thats an odd number really, the Holy Trinity.

pile 4

FINALLY PILE FOUR!! YOU GUYS DON'T KNOW HOW LONG PICK A PILES TAKE GODDAMN!!! Remember, general reading - check out the other piles if nothing resonates!

1) Why are you not shifting? (some advice)

Cards : Queen of Swords, 4 of Cups, The Hanged Man reversed.

You're manifesting shifting, and that's great! You're just not really focusing on actually TRYING to shift! Maybe you're being selfish in some part of your life. Try encouraging other people and realize everything is more than just physical, everything has a spiritual side.

2) What major steps can YOU take to advance in your shifting journey?

Cards : Knight of Wands, 5 of Wands reversed, Knight of Cups, 10 of Swords.

Realize your pain isn't your own, another person can be going through a similar thing. Open up to others and realize you're strong - you're living rn and you're still pushing to shift, Some of you guys have been on this shifting journey for almost a year - it's going to pay off. The pain in your cr isn't going to last.

3) How do people see you in your dr?

Cards : Queen of Wands, 6 of Pentacles, 9 of Wands

People are jealous of you, especially girls/women. Maybe you're hot and they want you? Bestie I would fight them for u/hj. They have no idea how hard it is for you on the inside and when they find out - they'll be supportive - I promise so many people will be there to love and support you.

4) Little message from your s/o.

Cards : 9 of Pentacles reversed, Queen of Swords, 6 of Wands.

You're not much of a planner are you? You let fate decide. You rarely have weekend plans and you just let the Universe guys you. They love how free spirited and loyal you are. I think this is how you and your s/o agree on things, fate and sometimes the spirtual like mediums and shit.

5) What your s/o thinks about you *when they get to know you ofc*

Cards :  4 of Swords, Wheel of Fortune reversed,  2 of Cups

There was a small chance they would like you and you made it - a small chance you would make them as happy as they are with you - this is adorable. Best Friend - Rex Orange Country says "I want you to think about me at night" they def do - they think about you before they go to bed, dream about you and they don't even know why at first. They probably talk to their parents or siblings about you a lot like goddamn.

Phrases and numbers: Chasing Cars - Sleeping at Last. "A dreamer, that's who I am." Hope. "STOP! I'M NOT GIVING UP!" Aries, Scorpio, lovers, physical touch, hugs, kisses, parental issues, Shoto Todoroki, "They're a little rough around the edges", "People think shes {they're} a sadist." Satan, the Devil, Dieties, Shaking, Panic Attacks in Paradise - Ashnikko, Raven method, bird watching, "Go with the shots", Chance, Halloween night, 31st, 13, 17, 7

Thank you for coming all the way down here! I hope you're enjoying your shifting journey and like - all the piles are pretty close to shifting!

[stxrvel]

loneliness is not my thing (2)

series summary: you woke up from a long coma with no memory of a part of your life only to be told by your teammates that you're married to the man you hated seven years ago. even though that seemed to be the only problem, as time goes on you're realizing there's a lot more history and mystery behind the accident that left you in medical care for months. blackouts, more memory loss, mistrust and a strange man who seems to be connected to everything. every day it gets harder to trust anyone around you, but you won't stop until you can finally uncover the truth behind the accident.

chapter summary: a talk with Bucky could end up uncovering and unleashing that part of you that you were always trying to keep under control.

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

words: +5k

warnings: i think none? let me know if i should add some!

note: hey you guys!! i can't believe the love you all gave the first part of this fic, and also the love you gave to the outbreak! its surely insane. thank u all for your support, and know that i'll always try to be better and write better and just give you guys the best. i love all of your comments, sorry if i don't reply to them, but i really really really love reading them! the feedback is just what keeps me going. really thank u all 💜. as always, i hope you like this second part! let's see what comes next for pt. 3

masterlist | next | series masterlist

The road to recovery was a difficult one, and if anyone knew about it, it was definitely Bucky Barnes.

It was what everyone had been telling you since you arrived. Besides constantly insisting that you should be careful about everything you did and not overexert yourself, talking about Bucky was another thing that people around you constantly did. You hadn't said that to him the last time you'd seen him, because he seemed angry enough with what little you'd said to him without adding something to it that you didn't even know what it might add to the conversation.

But yes, apparently Bucky was quite a preacher when it came to the path of self-healing. And seven years was just too long... You would have been much more surprised if it was the other way around, that you were still two adults with the minds of children who constantly poked each other with offensive words and backbiting. Maybe thinking Bucky had changed wasn't so crazy after having a whole year to consider it. You'd never had so much silence from him as you did most of the time you were in the hospital.

You wanted to learn more about it. More about him. But you never felt you had the right time to talk to him at length. At first, yes, it was too complicated to take in what he had told you. You two, married? The worst of your nightmares. But eventually you could begin to notice the change, even though his old attitude was still fresh in your memory. Then, just when you felt ready to start trying, the others showed up.

You would never have thought that learning to tolerate people would be such a complicated task until you found yourself in that situation. You were grateful to them, of course, their concern touched you… but to what extent?

You were uncomfortable with their looks and words and, although you managed to give yourself space by letting them know you didn't want them to keep talking about you and Bucky, the discomfort never really went away. And you just couldn't deal with it anymore. Surely, that was what had caused Bucky to pull away from you more and more. You also thanked him for his understanding, but you felt the scales were very unbalanced.

When he told you he would talk to Tony about giving you more space, you took it as a good sign. You could finally have a more private space to live.

What you didn't expect, of course, was to spend a whole week in complete solitude.

You didn't know what was worse.

You thought for a moment that it would be a gradual change and not all at once, and you hardly knew how to handle it. Sometimes you would leave the wing you were settled in and walk around the Complex, hoping to find someone, but it seemed like everyone had been wiped off the face of the earth. There was no one you could meet walking around.

So, at the end of the week you wanted to talk to Bucky again. You thought being like this might be the solution, and it's not that you completely missed some conversations with others, but you did miss some social interaction, and with some boundaries you were sure you could get some good stuff.

“What the hell are you doing up there?”

Your head was up, pointing directly at the figure sitting on a thick branch of a large tree. The woman had an impassive look on her face, but you could tell you had taken her by surprise.

You were taking one of those walks that, rather than being routine, you took hoping to run into someone. Although you had the feeling that you would end up doing it as a routine. And now you were finishing, when you were walking around the green area of the Complex, you happened to look up at the sky and you found Carol Danvers in the middle of the landscape.

“I'm… relaxing,” she barely answered you, clasping her hands together and waving her legs in the air. She almost looked innocent.

“Aha,” you nodded, not quite convinced. “I hadn't seen you in days.”

“Bucky was very clear in his instructions.”

“Instructions?”

“Yeah, he was very specific in asking us not to return to the wing and not to cross your path even by accident. Very intimidating, if you ask me.”

You watched Carol frown reflexively as you weighed her response. That, clearly, answered the questions that were rattling around in your head. But still…

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why did he do that? I didn't tell him what I told him to get everyone out of my life - he didn't even tell me what he wanted to do!”

Carol let out a laugh and it was your turn to frown.

“You can't imagine the things that man would do for you.”

You sighed heavily.

“But I didn't want to be left alone either.”

“That's understandable,” Carol nodded. “It's true that we overreached. You had reason to be uncomfortable and Bucky had reason to be angry. The least we could have done was to be on our best behavior and we failed at that too.”

You processed her apology, but over analyzed her words.

“You failed at that too?”

As soon as you finished asking the question, Carol's face froze. You knew she was known for being careful with her words, and she was the only one in the whole group who could really exercise prudent behavior. She didn't like assumptions or double-talk, unless it was necessary or for a bit of fun. But on a subject like that, you knew she had to be very precise with every word that left her mouth.

So, you didn't waste the opportunity to bring it up even though you knew she would most likely dismiss the topic as if it wasn't something relevant.

“Yes, well… The accident was an intelligence error. We all got complacent, thought the mission would go excellent and smoothly. But we were wrong.”

You didn't expect her to actually give you an answer. Vague, but an answer after all. You tried to fill in the gaps in your head with the information she gave you, but besides being something completely inconclusive, it gave you a big twinge in your head, like every time you tried to remember something.

Sometimes you didn't understand how the doctor said it was possible that you could recover your memory when you faced situations like that. That headache you got when you tried to evoke some recent memory seemed like a wall of miles of concrete that you couldn't break down except with thousands and hundreds of years of hammering on it.

That's how far away and impossible it felt.

“Don't do that,” you heard Carol's voice.

You had lowered your head when you felt the sting and, as always, the light began to bother you. You didn't realize at what point she stepped off the tree branch, but suddenly you felt her beside you holding your shoulders.

“The doctor said to avoid, specifically, forcing your memories. They will come on their own at some point.”

“This sucks,” you barely mumbled as the pain began to subside. “It feels like… having someone else inside my head. My lost memories feel like someone else.”

“I get that.”

You straightened up and began to follow the path back to the Complex at the foot of Carol, who still kept an arm around you just in case. You turned to look at her when she spoke, remembering what she had told you about her past.

“At least you know what you're looking for. The road is full of rocks, but it won't be endless. At some point you'll find a river and walk right into the truth.”

“I hope so.”

“Be patient. And don't force yourself. You'll be fine.”

You pursed your lips unable to keep a feeling of disgust from coursing through your body. Carol was right, like everyone else when they talked about it, and suddenly her advice should carry more weight having been through a similar situation herself, but that did absolutely nothing to alleviate the hollowness you constantly felt in your chest.

Dealing with the situation was easier when you only thought about the present. When you thought your only problem was what to eat for your three meals a day, what movies to see, which sides of the Complex to walk on, and that was it. Everything was perfectly fine when you focused only on the problems you had in the moments instantly.

The real issue came when you had to remind yourself that you weren't living in an everyday situation.

You had an accident. You lost your memory. You spent a year in the hospital. You found out you had a husband. You went to live in a space in the Complex completely isolated to yourself because the stress of the environment there could affect you psychologically. You were constantly living your days… for existing.

Having lost your memory, in addition to taking away the opportunity to continue to grow in your interpersonal relationships, also took away the opportunity to continue working. You were a SHIELD agent, but you weren't cleared for any kind of mission until further notice. And when would that notice come? You had no idea. Basically, you were living in limbo.

You were constantly trying to focus only on the problems of the present because they were things you could more easily deal with. Maybe that's why, despite being a nuisance at times, you appreciated the company of the team. And maybe that's why at the time you didn't miss the loneliness. Not that loneliness that gave way to unhealthy thoughts and hopeless feelings instead of allowing you moments of reflection. You felt you had developed an apathy to loneliness. Or a fear… It was hard to know exactly.

But you had to merge it all into your routine at some point. Learn to deal with both at the same time. Learning to live with the fact that there were millions of things that others remembered and you didn't, while trying to live with creating new experiences to treasure.

Living one problem at a time.

“If you really feel that way, you should go back and talk to Bucky. I can talk to the others and try to set rules and boundaries.”

You raised your head to find yourself in front of the rear entrance to the Complex that Tony had set up so you wouldn't have to walk through all the clutter of agents and clerks at the main entrance. It was a black door that blended in with the rest of the wall, and behind it was a short hallway that led directly to an elevator that had only one number available to go up.

“Yes, that would be ideal,” you nodded thoughtfully, as you walked toward the elevator after closing the door. “Of all the things I could have imagined when I woke up, the least likely, almost impossible, would have been guessing my current relationship with Bucky.”

Carol barely let out a laugh as she rang the elevator with the single button to her left.

“Despite losing your memories, you're not much different than you were in the last few years. Really the only thing that changed was everything that went along with your lousy relationship with Bucky. When you two patched things up, it was like everything fell back into place. The sun came out and the birds sang.”

You laughed with Carol as you entered the elevator and pushed the button with the number five on it.

“I guess it can happen again, right?” you questioned quietly, as you ascended to the third floor.

“It's possible. But don't hold on to what was. You can also chart a new path.”

--

You felt nervous. Your mind was predisposed to disaster. You had taken chamomile tea, but it had given you nothing more than a sudden urge to go to the bathroom. Every second that passed felt like an eternity, and you couldn't conceive that you could ever feel excited at the thought of talking to Bucky. Because what you were feeling at that moment could almost be related to panic. Despite the months that had passed and what you knew of his new version, you still panicked at the thought of talking to him alone.

You had been staring at the door for a while expecting him to show up at any moment, but it felt like you had been sitting there for hours waiting for the same thing. You hated feeling that uncomfortable tingling in your limbs and the nervousness whipping your stomach with an empty feeling. You especially hated it even more knowing that Bucky was the reason you felt this way. A year hadn't been enough time to get used to the idea, it seemed, and still your mind was reluctant to accept the truth. Even though you were aware of what it did to him, what your rejection made him feel, you still couldn't put yourself in a situation other than unwilling. It was like acting against your nature.

Carol had told you that she would tell Bucky to meet you because, like the others, you hadn't seen him again either. She knew where to find him so she told you not to worry about that.

She also told you that the reason everyone seemed to have fallen off the map was because they had started having missions much more often than before. Whoever was making life miserable for them and the rest of the population seemed to have been relentless for days. Carol told you that everything had been manageable until the beginning of last week, when the attacks and disappearances had been more frequent.

She then mentioned that it was unlikely that you would ever see everyone gathered in the same room for more than an hour again, or even a small group of them.

That was all he said.

You asked more questions, like who the person was who was causing these disturbances, or why they wre doing them, but she refused to continue the conversation. She said something about stress and trauma that you could barely understand, but her conclusion was that it was the doctor's express mandate not to talk to you about work. And it seemed that especially about that person who was wreaking havoc in the cities.

The door rang when you were deep in thought.

You moved your gaze just to meet Bucky's clear eyes. A choking sensation suddenly came over you.

His gaze was not tense, as you used to remember it, and he moved his body gracefully across the room; he no longer seemed to carry the sin of the world on his shoulders. His calm expressions made you feel more at ease, coupled with what you had lived and experienced with him over the past year, but you still felt the nervousness come back stronger.

“Carol told me you needed to talk to me.”

You watched him approach without moving an inch from your place at the table, and noticed his brow furrow in concern. At some point, you would have connected that expression with anger, with weariness or annoyance, but his warm, welcoming eyes made you feel like you had no reason to feel cornered.

“Yes, uhm… I wanted to talk to you about the team.”

“What?” Bucky spoke up instantly, his brow furrowing even more. “Have they been bothering you again? Because I was very clear last time-”

“No! That's not why. That's not what I meant,” you rectified quickly when you felt his tone of voice deepen. The lightness with which he used to address you seemed to have taken a vacation when he thought your time was still being disturbed. “I just wanted to tell you that… uhm…”

Damn nervousness. You interlocked your hands under the table and clasped them tightly. You tried to keep a cool expression so as not to alert the man in front of you, and the very thought struck you as odd.

“You didn't need to ask them to leave.”

You finally spoke, and when you looked back to see him, you could make out his peculiar grimace of confusion.

“I really appreciate what you're doing for me, Bucky. It's very… thoughtful,” you would never have thought you'd say all those words in the same sentence. “But I'd really prefer not to always be alone.”

You saw how his features remained mostly intact, but his eyes gave away what was going through his mind. He still looked confused, but he was already walking down the path you were putting together.

“I know what I said. My way of expressing myself was perhaps a bit over the top. But in my defense I didn't think you were going to go and ban them all from ever coming back in. I would never have guessed it.”

Bucky sighed, and you noticed at last how he relaxed his body. Ever since you mentioned the others, his shoulders had tensed and he had leaned forward as if ready to run off and hand out scoldings.

You watched his eyes wander over the table as you two lapsed into a silence that you couldn't tell if it was uncomfortable, comfortable, strange, not at all welcome, or welcome. You had mixed feelings about how to feel in the face of their silence. God, the things you'd come to…

“Okay,” you heard him reply after another few seconds in (un)comfortable silence. “So you'd prefer to see them more often, regularly, but just be less invasive. Something like that?”

“Maybe,” you nodded. “I don't know how I used to be before the accident, but I know that right now I don't feel as willing to talk about some issues.”

“That's okay,” Bucky nodded quickly at your words. “I'll talk to them then. I'll take what you tell me into consideration.”

You mimicked his gesture positively, and gave him a tight-lipped smile.

Okay, now what?

Before your head could start making a problem from the size of a pin to the size of a mountain, Bucky took the floor again.

“How have you been feeling? I mean, physically.”

You blinked a couple of times before answering.

“I've been fine. Sometimes I get a headache, but that's when I'm trying to remember something.”

You saw him nod with his full attention devoted to you. His brow furrowed, but this time in concentration, you were sure.

“You haven't been able to remember anything?”

“No, I haven't.”

You shook your head and felt that strange hopelessness hug your chest. You didn't like to think that sometimes people lived with a conception of you in their heads that you couldn't fill. You felt that they were always waiting for something. The expectation of one day seeing you and you being that person they used to remember. It was hopeless. You thought that no matter how hard you tried, you were never going to reach that version of you that had been erased from your head that everyone was used to. Why would that happen? Even with someone like Bucky, whose relationship between the two of you you didn't remember on good terms, you feared you couldn't exceed those expectations.

“You know,” the voice of the man in front of you brought you back to the present. You shook your head to rid yourself of those thoughts and focus on his words. “If you wanted to someday, you could get out of the Complex and go somewhere in the city. Maybe meet or just walk around.”

“Can I do that?”

Bucky frowned. “Sure. Why couldn't you?”

You looked down at your clasped hands.

“I don't know. I thought part of my recovery included always being here.”

“Ah. Well, that would be the most advisable thing to do, but as long as you're accompanied by someone I don't think there would be any downside.”

“Really?”

“Sure. You can ask anyone to accompany you. We all know the city well. And if that someone isn't busy, I'm sure they'd be happy to accompany you.”

“I definitely will. I've seen some interesting things online that I'd like to see in person.”

Bucky gave you a small smile before speaking. “Then get to work.”

And he stood up. Suddenly, you felt the panic sweep through you again. Was he going to leave already? You felt your heart drop to your stomach and you stretched out the fingers on your hands as he started walking.

“Well, I'll leave you. I have some mission reports to fill out. Report them to Fury before midnight. Most boring part of this job, honestly.”

Every word out of his mouth made him stand an inch farther away and you suddenly didn't like that feeling. You wanted to speak up and stop him, but your head was making you keep your mouth shut with your muddled thoughts hovering over every part of the room. You could almost see every possibility and every word clearly around the room. It was chaotic. You felt chaotic.

Bucky turned to see you, and when your gaze met his, everything stopped in an instant.

“You used to love doing that paperwork.”

The world slowed down to that moment. For a second, you could only perceive his body focused directly at you and his sparkling eyes that told you more than you could comprehend. You felt an itch in your fingertips and had the urge, for a second, to rush out to his side.

That was the part of you you didn't know. The part of you that your head was always fighting with. The memory of your body. The instincts that surfaced every time you experienced a strong feeling. Your head didn't remember it, but your body did. And your rationality was always fighting against the instincts of your body, because it was reluctant to a reality it didn't know. It was all so unfamiliar that you had no choice but to keep yourself in a constant tide of alertness.

There were never any dangers around you, but you always felt the need to be prepared to defend yourself.

That was one of those moments.

“A lot of things I hated to do you loved to do,” Bucky spoke again, this time redirecting his gaze elsewhere in the room as he seemed to be flooded with memories.

His longing face touched you and, for the first time, it looked like your body was going to beat your head.

You got up from the table and Bucky's head moved quickly, as if pulled out of a reverie. He watched you for a couple of seconds in silence, and when you said nothing, he shook his head.

“If you need me, I'm in B wing. Floor five. Room four.”

And without further ado, he turned around again, ready to leave the room.

“Wait!” you exclaimed louder than necessary. You cringed at how loud your voice came out and what it implied that it sounded almost like a prayer. It startled you, and you wanted to disappear when his body turned as he was about to grab the doorknob to open the door.

His eyes… his eyes told you everything. If only you knew the language they spoke; if only you could pay a little more attention; if only you could hold him a little closer…

You felt fear at the path your thoughts were taking. Your body's instincts were taking over the mechanism that kept you from losing your sanity.

“Y/N, you don't have to tell me anything. I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable that I said that. I shouldn't have-”

“It didn't make me uncomfortable,” you replied quickly, interrupting him. “It's just… sometimes I don't know how to handle these emotions.”

Bucky nodded.

“I don't know how to… handle you.”

“Handle me?”

“Handle what you cause in me.”

You watched him take a big breath in, his shoulders moving noticeably as he took a deep breath. You didn't know if he wanted to talk or if he wanted to stay silent so you would continue, but you didn't give yourself much time to think about it.

“Sometimes I feel like this whole thing is beyond me, you know, but other times I feel a huge familiarity with what's around me and it's like I've been to that place a million times before.”

You let go of your clasped hands and felt exposed. Talking like that made you feel vulnerable, even though you sensed you should have had that kind of conversation with him before. But that didn't change the fact that the discomfort didn't go away, nor did the need to let him know.

You were barely processing the words coming out of your mouth as your own ears picked them up, as if you were automatically reciting the writing your heart has practiced. The things that part of you had been keeping quiet for a long time had found its way out of you, to express yourself because keeping quiet and silent was turning it into a slave of suffering.

“That's how I feel with you… sometimes. Like I can't handle what I feel and what I think, but other times I feel like I've seen you a million times already, that I've felt this way a million times. And that you've looked at me that way a million times too.”

Bucky stood static in front of you, and his eyes never left yours. The intensity with which his gaze penetrated yours almost made you cringe, because you might not understand all that he was silent and showing through his eyes, but boy was he a man who knew the power of expressing a feeling through the window of his soul. You could almost touch through the masses of air the love he used to profess for you. That he professed still.

“I don't even know what's right and what's wrong because my mind has a limited view of the whole situation. I want to remember and at the same time I'm terrified that I can't.”

“Nothing will change if you can't remember, Y/N.”

“Except everything will change if I never get my memories back. You know that. Don't tell me things like that to make me feel better.”

“I'm not doing that. I don't want to lie to you. I just don't want you to feel like you're failing everyone by not doing it. That's completely out of your will, you know that?”

Reluctantly you nodded. You longed mightily for his words to be a relief, but the storm of emotions didn't go away. On the contrary, the mess inside you grew much bigger. You seemed to feel things far more powerful than your mind could handle.

“The point is, I wish I could learn to handle it all. Because maybe that's the way back to what it was before. By learning to handle it, I'd also stop feeling like I'm going to explode just because you look at me or because you don't.”

“That might be true,” Bucky agreed with you, cocking his head to one side, and for the first time in several minutes his body moved across the room. He seemed to want to move closer to you, and you felt the entire space around you shrink into a small room. The distance was monumentally disastrous, and you didn't know if you wanted him farther away or closer. “Maybe surrounding yourself with familiar things might help you remember, do you want us to try?”

With the tone of voice he was managing, you didn't know if you were sure what he was referring to. You watched his body move closer and closer until you were barely a step away. As you watched him closer, you could tell more closely that he wore an expression you had never known before. He was so very, very relaxed, his eyelids drooping a little lower over his eyes; you didn't even notice any trace of the wrinkles that hinted that he was worried, stressed or confused. No, that expression was confident and calm, the way you feel just after taking a shower before going to bed. It was that kind of domestic, familiar, homey calm that provided the certainty of knowing you were in a safe place.

The Bucky you saw in front of you must have been the one he used to be before the accident.

“And how would we do that?” you could barely muster.

Bucky cocked his head to one side and grimaced as if he was thinking very hard about an answer. His gesture brought a smile to your face. Despite the tension that had suddenly formed between you, you didn't feel the need to run away. Rather, you felt enveloped, precisely, in a safe place.

“I could accompany you on a tour of the city.”

And the idea didn't strike you as crazy at all. In fact, when he had mentioned it, the only person you had thought you might ask had been him.

And you had thought that would be the most extravagant thing you could say to him.

“How about it?” Bucky added to his suggestion, a small lopsided smile gracing his face.

“Sounds like a good idea,” you nodded, your own smile lighting up your face.

The man in front of you nodded, that sense of reassurance never leaving him for a moment. You felt as if you were inside a bubble of unwavering peace.

“Would tomorrow be okay?” Bucky asked.

You pretended to think about it the same way he had before.

“Let me check with my schedule. You know I have very busy days.”

The laugh you drew from his mouth felt like the biggest of prizes. Still apprehensive to accept those emotions, even your mind yielded to the power of Bucky Barnes' melodious laugh. Your defenses were nil at that moment.

“All right. Fair enough.”

And in less than a second, he turned around to walk back in the direction of the door. You felt a chill run through you from the space he had been occupying in front of you.

“When you get your answer, you know where to find me.”

And he walked out of the room. That time you couldn't stop him.

You stood there for several seconds staring at the door trying to process what had happened. You felt like you had just come out of a trance and were experiencing the aftermath one after another without respite.

Your mouth also felt dry.

When you regained consciousness and came out of that space in your head, you began to make your way out of the room. Strangely you felt that something was missing. The interaction you had had with Bucky had felt like deja vu. And now that it was over it felt almost wrong.

You walked in the direction of the exit from that wing of the Complex that led directly to an entrance to the section where you were staying. On your way, you kept repeating Bucky's expressions and in the end his tone of voice so calm, so familiar and so unfamiliar that it had your heart doing somersaults.

You didn't even know at what point the whole situation turned against you. First you came completely reluctant to still accept that there was a part of you that seemed to act instinctively when Bucky was near, only to end up just inches away from him accepting that basically you could still perceive those love-related emotions that you didn't know how to interpret. But you wanted to, of course, you had to make that clear to him.

Your mind for the first time was at ease and your heart felt like it was where it belonged. Your guard was so low that you couldn't even foresee what would happen next.

Your vision went white, accompanied by an extremely sharp pain in the back of your head. You could barely groan from the pain as your knees gave way under the weight of your body and you fell to your knees a few feet from the door.

You felt your little heart pumping blood to its maximum capacity, but you couldn't process what was happening.

You closed your eyes tightly, a thunderous beeping sound echoed in your ears.

Suddenly all your senses were magnified exponentially. The ground above your knees felt so scratchy that even through the fabric of your jean you could feel the friction of the material with the dust molecules. What little wind you could feel coming directly from the air conditioner sounded so loud in your ears that it began to dull the sound of the deafening beeping. You didn't know how your vision was, but closing your eyes so tightly caused a strange pain in your eyelid and it didn't take long for the tears to start building up and sliding freely down your cheeks.

You didn't understand what the fuck was going on.

The only thing you remembered was Bucky in a million scenarios. A bunch of images all projecting at the same time inside your head. A hundred words and sighs. A countless amount of sensations.

You felt and perceived everything at the same time.

Until everything was silence and darkness.

--

Tag: @stray-npc

[ayoharuko]

Genshin Impact Bf Headcanons

Hello hello! Sorry for the long wait on the sumeru boys....school exams happened and got busy on hw, Also couldn’t open genshin for at least a week or 2 soo sorry....

Another thing was I waited for cyno to come out before I started writing/thinking the headcanons. Since I didn’t know what he was like and when he came out and I got him....I forgot that I had to do Alhaitham and he hasn’t even come out yet-

Soo I just analyzed his personality and stuff and I kinda got it!

Now sorry for the rant and lets get into it! Hope u guys enjoy!

Bonus at the end! ;3

REMINDER: These characters don’t belong to me, they belong to hoyoverse, This is also just a work of fiction, Also I apologize if there are some spelling mistakes or grammar errors, Also I apologize if some headcanons are either occ or cringe.

(Sumeru Boys)

~Nature Boy~ (Tighnari)

~Tsundere Boyfriend~

- Yes...all I can think of him is being a tsundere, Now I have him...I pulled for him and I've seen his voice lines...and I must say they are...interesting, So in my book his a tsundere!

- He would be the doting and mature one in the relationship, Like his gonna lecture you about forest things. Ok he’s just being like that cause he doesn't want you to accidentally get hurt and he’s worried for you. Although he won't admit that-

- VERY overprotective, especially if you’re a forest ranger like him. The forest is full of dangerous things and he doesn't want you to get hurt. So when he said don’t go to the forest alone, listen to him :3

- He might be a tsundere but everyone clearly knows that he loves you even if he only shows you affection in private, Sometimes he’ll show affection in pubic mostly just hand-holding and little pecks here and there.

- You’re the only who has full access in touching his ears and tail, You’re very lucky as some people would say, he doesn't really mind and just lets you touch them. He doesn't understand the appeal tho, But their just soo soft!

- Mostly you guys would just have dates in the forest, By that I mean having picnics, relaxing and leaning against a tree and maybe even making-out hehehe who knows~?

- He LOVES cuddling with you, just wrapping his tail around you...holding you close to him..its just perfect! Expect him to give you back rubs and whisper stuff about his day to you, Soo cute!

- He’s only a bit possessive..nah he’s really possessive lol, Its just his natural instincts as a fox and you being his mate soo don't be surprise if he suddenly pulls you away from a person your talking to and just makes out with behind a tree...he just loves his mate a lot ;3

Nicknames: My mate, sweetheart, babe, love and my flower

Voice line about you: “Y/n? They’re my mate of course and also another forest ranger like me, Hm..traveler why are you suddenly interested in y/n? Is there something you aren't telling me?”

When he talks to you: “My flower...can you please tell me...why you're hurt? You just fell..huh.. you tried to take a picture of a rishboland tiger again didn't you?”

~General Mahamantra~ (Cyno)

~Protective Boyfriend~

- With his job as a mahamantra he’s bound to have enemies that want to get him back at him, so obviously he’s gonna be the overprotective.

- But he’s not that overprotective. Because of his job all he does is check up on you because sometimes he’s just too busy.

- Speaking of work...you both don't get to see each other a lot which sucks for the both of you..but he makes up for it! On your free days aka day offs(if u both have one oop) But on those days he brings you to the desert at the afternoon to stay over at his place

- You both would watch the sunset, cuddle under the moonlight while his whispering sweet nothings to you while giving you kisses and you both inside a pile of blankets :3, The desert is just cold at night he wants to keep his love all warm after all

- Half the time he calls you nicknames in his native language :3

- Sometimes people would wonder how you managed to woo the scary general mahamantra’s heart, Well...he fell for your smile!

- Even if he has to make dumb and punny jokes just to make you laugh because to him your laugh and smile are the most brightest thing in the whole of teyat

- Candace loves you, She often tells you to take care of Cyno as well as Tighnari and Nilou, they just care for their friend that's all~

- Back to his overprotectiveness, If you got hurt because of someone and try to hide it...don't brother his already hunting that poor person down

- Gets jealous when you get too close to a person *cough*Alhaitham*cough*, He just pulls you away from said person and pulls you to an alleyway and makes-out with you ;3

- You are the brightest star in the night, His only love, So never leave him...alright? :3

Nicknames: Ya albi(My heart), Ya hayati(My life) and Habib albi(Love of my heart)

Voice line about you: “Traveler...can you..watch over y/n while I go do something quick? H-huh? Just do it I'll be quick.”

When he talks to you: “Ya albi. What? Oh...its..what does it mean? Like I'd tell you heh, Sorry Habib albi I'm not telling you~”

~Nahida’s Babysitter~ (Alhaitham)

~Experimenting Boyfriend~

- We all can agree that Alhaitham probably never had a crush nor have experienced love before, Thus. He is the experimenting type!

- He would test somethings with you to see if he likes doing that with you or hates it, Lets just say there are a few things he doesn't wanna do hahaha....

- He doesn't like doing pda in pubic. The only pda you get is a kiss on the hand and Hand-holding, Thats it

- He would sometimes let you come with him when he works, Which obviously you don't mind because Alhaitham sometimes get too busy that he barely pays attention to you...

- Your dates are mostly spent on The House of Daena aka the library, He likes being around the smell of books and being around you! Although he won't admit that hehehe, I feel like he’ll read some books that are...romantic just to test some stuff with you since whenever you do something...affectionate he doesn't know how to respond lol

- He gets jealous of his roommate, Kaveh. He knows Kaveh won't dare do anything but...still! He thinks its idiotic he feels like this and you just giggle at him~

- Not many people know of your relationship only some but what some know is that the member of the Haravatat, Has a rather settle crush on you

- Alhaitham isn't aware how madly inlove he is with you, But somehow some people around him know. The way he looks at you softly, speaks with you with more emotion in his voice and sneaks glances at you. They know it.

- Similar to Albedo he will ask you if you want to cuddle and you guys do! Expect you’re trying out positions which ended with you getting mad at him lol

- You kissed him first, I know. His composure broke for a sec and then turns away and he had that cute side blush on his face, You giggled and just hugged him, His so cute~

- No matter how much he might research about this thing called ‘love’ he knows your the only who can teach and guild him...and although he doesn't wanna admit it..he loves you~

Nicknames: Darling, my angel, and sweetheart(Sometimes in pubic but mostly in private)

Voice line about you: “Y/n? Hm..their someone really dedicated to learn about new things I admire that about them.”

When he talks to you: “Darling why don't we go to the library later? I have a new book I would like to show you. What’s in it for you? Hm...sweetheart we can cuddle later if you want. *tiny blush*”

~Pretty Architect~ (Kaveh)

~Sweet Boyfriend~

- HE MIGHT HAVE JUST COME OUT BUT I KNOW HE’S THE SWEET TYPE HE LITERALLY GIVES ME TAMAKI VIBES FROM OURAN HOST CLUB I’M SORRY T-T

- *Ahem* sorry. He would be soo sweet to you! He loves to spoil you!(Even if his in debt) He would buy you clothes that he thinks suit you, He’d kiss and cuddle you this man is head over heels inlove with you hehehe

- His often very busy so you guys actually don't see each for weeks or even a whole month! It’s really sad for the both you so whenever you both are together you guys make the most of it :3

- He loves taking you out on dinner dates(with you paying sometimes), Mainly because he likes seeing you dressed up and such

- I see him liking to slow dance with you..I feel like his a classy man that's why lol but yea dancing under the bright moon and stars after your dinner

- Since his a architect...I kinda see him as a bit of a perfectionist, Like he would want everything in your house perfect which might piss you off sometimes lol but don't worry let him do him :)

- Lets you touch his hair if you let him cuddle and kiss you in return 

- His fashion sense is amazing. He would be the one picking your outfits and he sometimes buys you these designer clothes, He has the money don't worry-

- His love for you is like a flower....he cares for you like your a soft petal and he loves you like your the only person that matters~

Nicknames: Darling, Love, Sweetheart, Sweetie, Babe, Beautiful, My petal and  My flower

Voice line about you: “Ah! You know y/n!? Oh uhm sorry...how are they? Are they doing fine? I’m glad to hear that...i..miss them very much *Gentle smile*”

When he talks to you: “Are you ready to go darling? You look beautiful my flower..I love you a lot my petal”

DONE!!

I’m really sorry if this took way too long, School has been pretty shitty to me rn :(

I wanna apologize if the arabic translations at cyno’s part! If I did do the wrong translations pls tell me and I'll correct it! :)

Also sorry if there are grammar or spelling errors!

I had fun writing these boys and was simping while writing I hope you guys were simping and had your hearts go doki doki :3

Reblogs and feedback is appreciated~

My request/ask box is open soo feel free to request or ask questions :3

See you guys on my next post~!

[t0mcruize123]

Stuck with you

Part one🎀🫶

This is the first part to my Charlie Babbitt story which will follow the enemies to lovers trope and have some detailed smut so yeah consider yourselves warned👹 this story was written for @mqverick on her special special birthday so I hope u enjoy the slow burn luv ITS ALL FOR YOU🤭🫶

~Part 1~

My bags weighed down on my shoulders as I stood in line for the plane and regretted packing so much. It was my sisters wedding and I was only flying to Los Angeles for the weekend and yet had five bags. I always brought too much but it was too late to change my mind now - my plane was leaving in a matter of minutes.

“Ray? We’re in an airport, people fly out of airports!” I turned around at the loud voice, “What did you think we were doing this whole time?”

A man dressed in a grey blazer and black shirt stood behind me with a tight jaw. His brow was furrowed and his green eyes were piercing as he glared at his friend. They seemed to be arguing about something and I tried to mind my own business.

“This is very serious Ray,” the man’s voice lowered.

“Very serious,” Ray repeated, his stare fixated on the ground.

“I have to get to Los Angeles alright, so you’re gonna get on that plane.”

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Figures, the guy loudly arguing in the middle of the crowded airport was going the same way as me.

“You understand me?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re going to get on the plane.”

“Get on the plane.”

Without a second thought, or rather a first, I spun around to face the man with narrowed eyes. Ray clearly didn’t want to get on the plane, and although I didn’t know him I felt a sudden urge to protect him. He clearly couldn’t defend himself against his friend, so I would.

“Excuse me,” I stepped forward and the man in the grey suit looked at me, “I couldn’t help but overhear your argument-“

“Argument? No we’re not arguing just talking, aren’t we Ray?” His tone was mocking as he turned his head in my direction, “I’m Charlie Babbitt.”

“Charlie,” my nose crinkled, “Your friend doesn’t want to get on the plane.”

His lips parted in surprise before he swallowed hard , “First of all, he’s my brother, and second of all I don’t appreciate you eavesdropping on a private conversation.”

“Private?” My eyes widened, “You’re not exactly being quiet Charlie, I’m sure the whole airport can hear you!”

“We’ll we’re not staying here another second anyway,” Charlie snapped and tugged at Ray’s hand, “Ray wants to go somewhere else where there’s been no crashes, which is impossible because all airlines have crashed at some point or another but that does not mean they’re unsafe.”

“Qantas,” Ray mumbled, rocking from side to side.

“Qantas?” My brow rose.

“Qantas never crashed,” he explained quietly.

“Qantas. Well that’s-“ Charlie threw his hands up in frustration, “I mean that’s gonna do me a lot of good Ray! You see Qantas doesn’t fly out to LA, you’ve got to get to Melbourne!”

“Hey,” people around us were beginning to stare and I didn’t like the way Charlie’s voice was rising, “Here him out-“

“Melbourne Australia in order to get the plane to fly to Los Angeles! Do you hear me?” He bent low so that he was eye level with Ray and I grabbed his arm.

“Stop talking to him like he’s a child!” I argued as Ray began to mumble useless facts to himself. Yes, the situation was awkward and Ray could’ve been a little easier to handle but Charlie was going about this all wrong; yelling was only going to make it worse.

“Look I haven’t got time to be arguing with you and him at the same time!” My face flushed with angered heat as he yelled, “Keep your nose out of other peoples business!”

“It’s kinda hard to when you’re screaming at your brother and making this whole thing difficult,” I snapped back as a muscle in Charlie’s jaw twitched.

“You and I are going to get on this fucking plane!” He turned away from me and grabbed Ray’s arm, “Come on let’s go!”

Ray protested as Charlie dragged him along and I cut in, “Leave him alone! Forcing him isn’t going to-“

Ray let out a screeching cry and slammed his hand against his head. My hands flew to my mouth as people stared in our direction and Ray began to scream louder and louder.

“We’re not going to take the plane,” Charlie murmured quietly as he grabbed Ray’s arm, preventing him from hurting himself, “He’s okay! He’s okay everybody!”

A few people stepped forward and Charlie assured them Ray was fine with a tight lipped smile, “He’s okay. We’re not getting on the plane, just relax.”

I tentatively touched Ray’s shoulder as he calmed down, his breathing regulating as he stared at the floor. My heart was hammering in its cage and I looked back in forth between Charlie and Ray.

Charlie looked at me with a saddened expression, his shoulders tilted in defeat as he murmured, “We’re not getting on the plane Ray, we’re not going to fly. Okay?”

Ray looked up, “We’re not going to fly.”

Charlie bent low to pick up some of the luggage that had fallen, “You tire me Ray.”

“Yeah.”

I shook my head, “Dont blame him, you’re the one who-“

“Will you do us all a favour and shut the hell up?!” Charlie’s fists tightened as he stared down at me, “Who even are you? Why the fuck do you even care so much? Just leave me and my brother the hell alone!”

Fuck. Him.

“All I was trying to do was help because you clearly needed it,” my teeth clenched together, “You have no idea how to take care of someone like-“

“Someone like what?” His head cocked to the side, “Someone like what hm?”

I swallowed and Charlie turned towards his brother, “that’s what I thought. We’re going to drive to Los Angeles, we’re going to drive to LA.”

The two of them were never going to survive in one car together for that journey but there wasn’t much I could do. Charlie began to walk back towards the exit whilst Ray stood still and stared at that same spot on the ground.

“Okay come on Ray,” Charlie spun and slammed his fist against his luggage, creating an echoing bang, “Come on.”

My blood simmered as Charlie offered his brother the bag, “We’re not going to fly just take the fucking bag.”

I Bit back my reply as Charlie and Ray began to make their way out. People were still staring and I knew my face was hot and bothered from all the arguing. God I hated people like Charlie, who always thought they knew best and refused to think otherwise.

“You’re killing me Ray…I just want you to know you are killing me,” Charlie uttered, “We could’ve been in LA in three hours, now it’s going to take me three days.”

My eyes narrowed, “Would it kill you to just shut your mouth for one second and stop complaining?”

Charlie’s body stiffened before he turned his head and spoke over his shoulder, “Fuck. You.”

He spoke in a ridiculing tone as though he was talking to a toddler and my head felt like it was going to explode. Before I could do something I was going to regret, I reclaimed my spot in the line and tried to forget the last five minutes. How could someone like Charlie be looking after Ray? How was it even possible? I sighed heavily and took my spot on the plane, my heart finally calming down as I sat still.

What a way to start my mini holiday - an argument with a random stranger in the airport. I felt a headache growing and pinched the bridge of my nose. I couldn’t let this ruin everything, I hadn’t even left yet.

One of the flight attendants began to make their announcements and I straightened in my seat, “I know this isn’t ideal, but unfortunately all flights to LA have been cancelled as the plane journey has been deemed unsafe.”

Instantly, the people on board erupted into chaos and I felt my own chest burning with annoyance. What did that even mean? Deemed unsafe? The flight attendant tried to speak over the uproar and yelled to get our attention.

“Nobody is able to fly to LA because there’s been a problem with the route pilots usually take,” there was an angry murmur from the crowd and the flight attendant waited for silence before she continued, “however at this airline we understand that some of you had booked hotels and arranged places to stay there in LA already.”

Was I going to get a refund? Charlie had mentioned that the drive to LA would be three days but I didn’t even have a car - could I ask a friend? I had a few in mind but I didn’t want to be a burden to any of them.

“So, we have booked rooms for each and every one of you in a nearby hotel for the week, so you can make new arrangements and cancel your plans. The details have been sent to you and we’ll welcome any questions-“

People began to argue once more and I couldn’t stand the noise, let alone with a growing head ache. Passengers had begun collecting their things and I stood up before the rows got too crowded. Unable to wipe the frown off my face, I stormed past the flight attendant with my luggage and descended the plane.

One week in a crappy hotel? They thought that would make up for me being late to my sisters wedding? I groaned in frustration and tipped my head back. This could not be happening, could this day actually get any worse?!

I unlocked my phone to see the airline had sent an email with directions and information to the new hotel. I had nowhere else to go for the night and if it was free, then I might as well go for it. I’d worry about the wedding and how I was going to get to LA tomorrow, right now I just needed sleep.

Much much needed sleep.

The shower water splattered down onto my face and I closed my eyes to relish in the feeling. I’d checked in at the hotel and my room wasn’t as bad as I’d feared - there were two beds, a desk, and a small tv in the far corner. I only planned on staying here for the night but I appreciated the effort the airline had put in. I could only imagine the cost of booking so many hotel rooms.

I sighed and turned the water off. I needed to shower to clear my head and stop stressing about LA. I was going to get there someday or another, I just had to figure out how. Luckily it was only Tuesday, and the wedding was on Saturday. Even if I drove, I’d make it on time. I just needed a car.

How hard could it be? I wrapped the towel around myself and stepped out of the shower, my hair wet and slick against my back. There was a shuffling noise from outside and I turned, but there was nothing there except my reflection in the mirror.

I raked my hand through my tousled hair and stared at myself in the mirror. My eyes were dark with fatigue and it was a strain to stand still instead of collapsing with exhaustion. I’d changed my whole sleep schedule so I wouldn’t sleep on the plane but now everything was ruined and all my lack of sleep was catching up on me. I feigned a yawn and turned towards the bedroom.

The door swung open and I screamed as a man walked through. He also yelled in confusion and quickly slammed the bathroom door closed again.

What the actual fuck?

I leaned against the bathroom door and listened to the man pacing around outside. Why was he in my hotel room? Wait, how did he even get in my hotel room?

I looked down to see the towel was still hanging loosely on my body and wondered if he’d seen me naked? When id screamed, my hand had slipped but I don’t think I’d flashed him.

God this was so embarrassing. The man knocked on the door and I startled back, heat flaming my cheeks.

“Excuse me miss?” His voice was muffled from the other side of the door, “I’m so sorry to have walked in.”

My brow furrowed, “It’s alright…I’d appreciate it if you’d leave though so I can come out. It is my room.”

There was a moment of silence, “I’m sorry but I think you’re mistaken. I’ve got my message here from the airline, stating that room 101 belongs to me and my brother.”

“And whom would that be?” I rolled my eyes.

“Charlie and Raymond Babbitt.”

I stopped breathing as my hand clamped on the door handle and pushed down. Sure enough Charlie was standing outside my bathroom with his hands flexed on either side of the doorframe, caging me in. His eyes widened as he recognised me from the airport and my own eyes glared up at him in pure hatred.

Was this some kind of joke? A prank to get back at me after our argument? I opened my mouth to yell but he looked just as angry as me, his hands in fists and his face hot.

“Fuck no,” he seethed, “Me. You. Front office. Now.”

[itsjaywalkers]

honestly i used to find the hate anons soo funny bc like 'aww did my silly little au abt two characters i like upset you?? :(( so sad 😞😥 what will i ever do now that you don't like the ship i write for my pleasure' but nowadays they just piss me off. bc like how entitled do you have to be to go into someone else's ask box. and just like send them hate for not doing something you want. like the hating actually requires them to go out of their way???? WHAT is their problem like. i actually want to know the thought process behind sending anonymous hate to someone for having fun and sharing their amazing content in the first place

im not in many fandoms but even in the ones im in i've NEVER seen fandom writers and artists get treated so horribly. genuinely pisses me off bc like. you guys are actually so sweet?? im not that into marauders fandom rn but i've read many of your works (especially your pandalily btw. im in love with them) and they're all so lovely!! and so are you!! i hope you have a wonderful day and that any ppl that think sending hate is okay slip on a banana peel or something idk

i totally get what you mean nonnie and honestly . kinda same . i mean i'm mostly indifferent to them, they don't affect me much, but i fucking hate seeing my friends (or any authors/artists really) get hate for their work. makes me feel downright murderous. bc you're right, i've been in so many fandoms, and ofc there's always assholes, but never in my life i've seen this amount of . awfulness directed at ppl for simply making art of the ships and characters they like??? it's so baffling to me. and i genuinely don't get it. there's also a lot of . couples and hcs or portrayals of certain characters i despise and yet i never get the urge to send the ppl who do enjoy them hate?? i mute or i block, maybe complain about it to my friends IN PRIVATE and i curate my own experience. like almost everyone i know does. i don't understand these ppl's problem i really don't

but well, i guess i've reached my limit + grown bored of these trolls bc i've been deleting and blocking the stupid asks they keep sending me. i'm not entertaining them anymore. they can continue being as hateful as they want, but not in my space thank u <33

anyways I'M SO HAPPY U ENJOY MY PANDALILY SO MUCH god they're my girls, i've been thinking about them a lot more lately, i need to continue with all the violence sequel bc i'm going through serious withdrawals.. you're soooo sweet, i hope your day is/was the fucking best and i'm kissing u so soundly on the forehead MWAH

[lxmiko]

here for the matchup 🔥🔥 as an excuse to talk to u LMAO

i’m very keen on separating school from my personal life, so i don’t talk at all, keep to myself and give nonverbal responses such as nods, shakes, shrugs and thumbs ups. i’m not concerned about social status in school since that’s something that won’t matter to me much later, either

despite that, when it comes to approaching people i’m all for it and i tend to lead my friend groups. my love language is quality time and gifting people, and being a bitch to them especially, but i do like to let them know i care i’m just not good at letting them know verbally

i have interests in marine biology, especially crustaceans, whales and sharks. i also have a fat crush on optimus prime the truck the transformer the loml. i like talking about them but it’s hard for me to focus on anything else, since i’m task driven and things like that or distractions take me off the grind 💔💔 i’m a heavy cleaner too

i tend to be a massive cunt and being immaturely petty is so fun lolol i seem rude but really i’m just socially unaware apparently and i say what’s in my mind. i’m harsh to people but i say what’s true, as well as comforting them in other ways

first matchup fr!!

disclaimer: this is solely my opinion of which character i believe suits you the most based on the description you wrote!! sorry if it isn’t who you thought it’d be ;;

—

i match you up with… vox akuma!

have you met this guy D: he will never NOT bite back when you bitch at him

he’s extremely keen on trying to fluster you while you’re showing love, whether it be sitting in the same room as him while he streams, or doing domestic tasks like cleaning the house together and/or cooking

he’ll turn to give you a sly smile even if you ignore him and takes every jab you give him with a grin

he’ll respond to you the same way you talk to him, speaking honestly and quite honestly, he’s not one to have a filter either :oo

he appreciates gifts wholeheartedly, and probably has an area in his room for all the gifts you’ve given him

but i hope you know he’ll be giving you twice as many gifts!! he’s an extremely giving person, and pays attention to things you glance at when the two of you go out, and gets you things pertaining to your hobbies

vox can talk enough for the both of you, and he doesn’t mind that you’re sometimes quiet or private about your life

while he encourages you and reassures you that you can talk to him about anything, he never pushes you to talk about anything you wouldn’t want to

he learns to read your expressions very well, being observant enough to the point that you could give him a look and he’d know what was on your mind

he’s a great listener, and finds it adorable when you talk about your interests, and will probably try to search up things about your hobbies and such as a way to contribute to the conversation whenever you bring them up

have you seen his fnaf smash or pass stream D:!!??!? he has no problems with your love for optimus prime, and he probably feels the same way as you about the transformer ^^

overall, he doesn’t mind how socially unaware you may be, since he, for one, is one smooth mother fucker, and can read people very well !! he’ll aid you in situations where you may not understand the social circumstances of what’s going on, and can explain them thoroughly to you :D

—

[agoraphobe]

Hi I would appreciate it if you could give some input/advise on the situation 💕so I found out that the guy I was talking to long distance and met in person many times had a girlfriend all this time, we were talking for over a year....I’m just very hurt. As soon as I knew and the girlfriend showed him proof of it he blocked me even though they broke up...And I was just about to go see him. I don’t understand it. He kept on telling me to stop calling him, that it’s clearly over to move on and find someone else and I was mean back but still it’s very hurtful of him. Now, after a month he’s been calling me many times yesterday and day before, texted me saying to answer I told him I would call him after work so I did then I call him and I was like hi and he goes “hi what’s up” and I was like “just at home” and he goes okay I have two things to say: “are you calling from private number I keep getting calls” and I was like “no” and he goes “oh okay and also I just wanted to apologize clear the air sorry you went through all that” and I was like “okay” then he hangs up didn’t even say bye and then calls back like 20 minutes later and I missed the call and tried calling him back but no answer...ever since that I’m blocked. I’m just hurt and don’t know how to feel about it. Our relationship had been hard to say the least being long distance and all and don’t understand why he would end it as soon as she found out like he’s been cheating and hopes to get her back? They broke up she told me herself? Why does he not want to see me? And why would he continually ask me if I’m calling from private numbers if he knew it was me? I’m just really hurting

he sounds like a waste of time. u can find better. dont chase after some POS who plays games with u and isnt honest. im sorry ur hurting but i promise its not worth it lol

[crybabychita]

Hi I would appreciate it if you could give some input/advise on the situation 💕so I found out that the guy I was talking to long distance and met in person many times had a girlfriend all this time, we were talking for over a year....I’m just very hurt. As soon as I knew and the girlfriend showed him proof of it he blocked me even though they broke up...And I was just about to go see him. I don’t understand it. He kept on telling me to stop calling him, that it’s clearly over to move on and find someone else and I was mean back but still it’s very hurtful of him. Now, after a month he’s been calling me many times yesterday and day before, texted me saying to answer I told him I would call him after work so I did then I call him and I was like hi and he goes “hi what’s up” and I was like “just at home” and he goes okay I have two things to say: “are you calling from private number I keep getting calls” and I was like “no” and he goes “oh okay and also I just wanted to apologize clear the air sorry you went through all that” and I was like “okay” then he hangs up didn’t even say bye and then calls back like 20 minutes later and I missed the call and tried calling him back but no answer...ever since that I’m blocked. I’m just hurt and don’t know how to feel about it. Our relationship had been hard to say the least being long distance and all and don’t understand why he would end it as soon as she found out like he’s been cheating and hopes to get her back? They broke up she told me herself? Why does he not want to see me? And why would he continually ask me if I’m calling from private numbers if he knew it was me? I’m just really hurting

alright, where to begin w this? ur doing way too much worrying and thinking for someone who doesn’t deserve it & it’s that simple. we can give them the benefit of the doubt or as much understanding as humanly possible but it doesn’t change the fact that his actions show he doesn’t care. based on that alone, drop him & his weirdo behavior. he is going back & forth w contacting you bc it feeds his ego to know you’re in distress over it/still care/thinking ab him. at this point, whether the feelings were real or not, all he cares ab is the attention, validation, ego stroke, and the pain he’s infliction on u & the other biddie.

it’s sad to admit but, more often that not, it is all just a game to them. granted, it’s a game created out of their own insecurity & fear & in the moment, it feels like you’re the only one being played & hurt. but in the long run, those ppl are damaging themselves too & bypassing all the important life lessons they’re supposed to learn in relationships. they’re ultimately stunting their own growth, and ppl will notice that in the future and steer away from them. because no one has time for an immature, self-centered dickhead… hope this helps luv, CHOOSE YOU

[dulcewrites]

could you do some austin angst where he cheats on the reader with olivia while filming and they have a baby together and a little later on they are co parenting austin’s single but when the reader drops their son off at austin’s house she tells him she’s going on a date and he gets jealous and then whatever ending u want

Strangers by Nature

Pairings: austin butler x reader (wc: 1.4k)

Warnings: mentions of cheating, austin being messy and possessive

Requested: yes (thank you I like this idea) . This lowkey took a different turn than I thought I would but I think it’s pretty good so I hope you enjoy it as well

A/N: I don’t know why some my personal ideas about what to write make austin a little… toxic? It could be me projecting to find something wrong with him lol. I want to write more about him but I am someone who normally stays away from reading/writing about real people myself. Anyway [insert disclaimer about me not knowing austin, this being fiction, and people needing to be respectful and understand boundaries when writing about real folks]. Also I was slightly inspired by the “when you’re 40, and I’m 50 we’ll be back together” scene from Elvis (2022).

timeline clear up: austin is 31, you’re 29 in 2022. You guys were together for around 9 years in 2020 (when he cheated). You had your son in 2016 (so he is 6 in 2022, he’s a cancer sun with a leo moon lol)

You keep going over how the conversation will go in your head. What he is going to say, and what you’re going to say in rebuttal. Maybe you shouldn’t even tell him about the date? The car ride over to Austin’s place is filled with thoughts being so loud you feel a headache coming on. The only thing competing with your loud thoughts is Mateo’s loud singing.

Well, at least you can say the private school music classes are paying off.

Once you get in the driveway. You for a moment, leaning your head against the steering wheel to take a moment to breathe. You and Austin have been coparenting for two years now, and the drop offs are still not easy.

“Mommyyyyyy, go in,” Mateo starts to whine.

You sigh and give him a smile in the review mirror before getting out. As you take him out of his booster seat, he whispers in your ear.

“Daddy said he’s gonna teach me guitar.”

You raise an eyebrow. Sometimes you resent it; how Austin gets to be the fun, artistic parent that connects with Mateo on that level. You don’t have an artistic or creative bone in your body, it’s the reason why you work in software development. Mateo is fascinated with what his dad does. Hell, you were fascinated too when Austin and you met.

“Sounds fun baby.”

You grab his bag and walk him up to the door. You watch as he happily bounces on his feet to the tune of the doorbell, waiting for Austin to come to the door. The door swings open; Austin’s attention instantly go down to Mateo, and he picks him up into a big hug. There is something special about watching them interact; two peas in a pod.

Austin and you share a less than graceful side hug. It’s more him putting his arm around you, and you trying not to be awkward about it.

“We need to talk,” he whispers in your ear. Well, that’s cryptic.

You and Austin often don’t have long unmediated conversations about things outside of Mateo because it always ends in someone getting their feelings getting hurt. It’s hard to swallow that there was a time where he was your best friend. The person you told everything to.

Despite the confusion, you followed him into the house towards the kitchen.

“Buddy, why don’t you go put your stuff away and we’ll call you down when mom is about to go.”

Mateo takes off to his room. There’s a beat of silence before Austin starts.

“So, how are you?” his smile is breezy, and his tone is light. Too light.

“I’m fine,” you reply slowly. Did you really need to come in for this? He could’ve texted.

“The funniest thing happened last week,” he says, leaning against the kitchen island. “Matty came up to me and was like ‘daddy, I have a secret’.”

Mateo is in this phase where he thinks everything is a secret. If he must use the restroom, it’s a secret. If he wants to wear blue instead of red, it’s a secret. He saw a lizard at recess. A secret.

“And he then he says, ‘mommy is doing something special on Saturday’,”

Your stomach drops into your ass. Not your baby being the person who rats you out. How did he even know? Oh god, do you talk that loud on the phone? This is not how you wanted this to come out. Then you remember, you’re an adult. Who cares what Austin thinks?

“Well, now that you mention it,” you try to sound as nonchalant as possible. “I do have a date tomorrow.”

The last first date you went on was with Austin… in 2011. You haven’t been “on the market” since your late teens. To say you’re nervous about the whole thing is putting it lightly. The last thing you need is Austin browbeating you about it.

“Now that I’ve mentioned it. You’re joking right?”

“I was going to tell you,” You quickly reply.

And you were… sometime soon. If it wasn’t today or tomorrow, it would’ve been sometime next week. He doesn’t have a right to be mad or to be giving you the look he is right now. As if he’s betrayed by the fact you would want to date. You should’ve been expecting this. Dr. Shula, your family therapist, said dating was going to be a tricky thing for you two to navigate.

You honestly thought he would be the first one to take the plunge. But maybe that’s your resentment talking.

“Are you doing this to punish me,” he huffs. “I say I want to make us work, and you go and do this.”

You always knew Austin regretted what he did, and that all he wants is for things to go back to how they were. It’s just something you’ve always shot down. Sometimes you wondered if he says it because that’s the “right” thing to say after you cheat.

“Because I got the hint when you didn’t come to any premieres.”

And there it is. He said he didn’t mind, but you knew better. The biggest moment in his career, and he was alone. A part of you did feel bad every time you declined. Or when you offered sending Matty there, and making it clear you wouldn’t join. But now having it thrown back in your face made your blood boil a bit.

Why would you want to go and pretend to be happy about a movie that basically ruined your relationship? Be around the person who helped him fuck it all up.

You were ready to be there for every premiere, talk to him about every interview, cheer him on about this role that meant so much to him. He’s the one that changed that.

“You really don’t get it do you?” you ask with a cynical chuckle; you can’t help but laugh. He’s never going to get it because despite the ups and downs you had over your relationship, you never broke his trust the way he broke yours.

“I thought… I thought things were turning around after I came back,” he says, sounding defeated.

Your shoulders drop and let out a sigh. He’s talking about when he was sick after filming. When you came and stayed with him. It was the first time the three of you were in that house together since early 2020.

“Austin, you know me better than that. If you need help, I’m not going to turn my back on you,” you try to sound sympathetic. You hadn’t seen Austin like that in long time. That low. “You’re the father of my child. You’re wellbeing matters to me.”

“So, that’s all it was. You 'taking care of the father of your child'.”

You can’t look him in eye for too long. He knows it’s more than that. You know it’s more than that. But you don’t know if you’re ready to say that again. Ready to put that much faith in him again.

“Look, I know this isn’t want you want,” you lean over and grab his hand. “But you need to let me do this.”

The next part is implied. Let you do this and then you can make up your mind. Maybe you’ll be ready to try again. Maybe it will be the risk you you need to take to get over him.

“You know you’re it for me right,” he squeezes your hand. “We’re gonna come back together after we figure this out.”

You feel tears welling up in your eyes. That’s the scary part; he might be it for you too, and there’s nothing you can do about it. You wipe your face, and try to pull yourself together before calling out Mateo’s name.

You say your goodbyes to him before sending him back to play then turn to Austin.

“Stay safe. If anything happens tomorrow, you call me immediately,” Austin’s voice reminds you of how he talks Mateo when he really needs him to listen.

“Ok dad,” you joke before surprising both yourself and him by pulling him into a hug. Despite how you two go at each other, you don’t enjoy seeing him upset. It doesn’t give you the satisfaction you hope it would.

“I love you.”

You squeeze your eyes shut. He loves you. You simply hum in response. Is love always enough?