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If It Were Up To Me (We'd Be Meant To Be) (Alex Morgan x Reader)
It was the typical cliche, childhood best friends falling for one another, in this case however, it was only you who fell and judging by the wedding invitation currently resting on your kitchen counter, you'd be the only one to ever fall.
The day was like any typical day, your parents chattering away in the Morgan’s living room as you and Alex played a few feet away, the two of you giggling as you made your two dolls walk towards one another.
“What do you mean?” You ask in confusion, your head cocked to the side, your tiny brows knitted in confusion.
“I seen mommy and daddy kissing.” Alex says, the little girl shrugging as she leans her doll towards your own.
“What’s a kiss?” You ask, turning back to the toys the two of you were playing with.
“It’s what two people do when they love each other.” She says nonchalantly, playing with the doll in her hands.
“Can anyone kiss?” You ask and she shrugs.
“I think so.”
You hum, turning your attention back to your own doll.
You remain quiet for a moment, but questions plagued your tiny mind.
“How do you kiss?” You ask, your best friend turning towards you with a small smile.
“I think it’s like this.”
“Awwwwww, look at them...” You hear your mother say as Alex Morgan’s lips meet yours, the two of you giggling as you part, your parents cooing.
“Before we know it, those two will be married!” Alex’s father says, sharing a round of laughter with your parents.
Though the kiss you had shared was a meaningless kiss between two children, something neither of you understood, it would lead to something much more complex the older you got, something that would lead to your heart eventually being broken.
************************************************************************
You frowned sadly as you stared down at the invitation resting on your kitchen counter, an invitation to your best friend, Alex Morgan’s, wedding.
You’d been best friends since childhood, and that hadn’t changed throughout your adult life, the two of you growing closer and closer the older you got.
You wouldn’t lie, you found yourself developing feelings for Alex in middle school, and those feelings only progressed as the two of you got older.
Those feelings had in no way dissipated, even as you stared at the invitation resting on your marble kitchen counter.
You flip the invitation over, not wanting to read the name of your best friend and her soon to be husband on its surface.
You bury your face in your hands, your stomach churning as your eyes again drift to the invitation, one that is now upside down, the names no longer visible.
You knew you missed your chance; you knew you couldn’t go back and change things, the wedding date was cemented now, and there was no changing it.
You knew you couldn’t go; you couldn’t watch the woman you loved marry someone else.
You had to come up with an excuse, and though you knew missing her wedding would break her heart, seeing her get married would shatter yours in such a way that you’d never be able to piece it back together.
Your hands tremble as you move to your feet, shuffling towards the cabinet near the fridge before you produce a bottle of Vodka, screwing the cap off and taking a swig, the liquid burning your throat, it’s warmth spreading to your chest.
If you had any say in the matter, you’d drink so much you would forget the name Alex Morgan.
No matter how much you drank that night, you couldn’t forget Alex, you never could and deep down, you knew that.
*******************************************************
Alex Morgan’s brows knitted in confusion, the corners of her mouth drooping downwards.
“What’s wrong?” Kelley O’Hara says as she flops down onto the bed beside Alex, the woman still staring blankly at her phone’s screen, unable to really comprehend what she’s reading.
“Y/N just cancelled her RSVP.” She mumbles, Kelley’s eyes widening when she peers over her shoulder.
“What?!?” She asks, scanning the email, her brows furrowed.
She’d only met you a few times, but it was obvious to literally anyone with eyes that you were absolutely in love with the woman sitting beside her, a woman whose wedding you cancelled your RSVP for.
Kelley knew it would be absolute torture to watch the woman you loved get married to someone who wasn’t you, if she was in your shoes, she probably would have cancelled as well.
“Did she say why?” Kelley asks, earning a shake of the head from Alex.
“No...” She frowns, dropping her phone onto the hotel room’s bed.
Kelley slips an arm around her middle, pulling her towards her, Alex’s head resting on her shoulder.
The two sit in silence, the defender trying to think of a response, but before she can reply, Alex breaks the silence.
“We’ll be in New York in a couple weeks for our match against you guys, I’ll go see her then.” She mumbles and Kelley nods, her throat bobbing, wondering what the conversation between the two of you would entail, and hoping that for your sake, it didn’t end negatively.
************************************************************************
You did your best to avoid Alex’s multiple calls and her text messages, knowing that if you really spoke to the woman, she would see right through you.
She could always tell when you were lying, commenting on the fact that you’d noticeably fidget, unable to meet her gaze.
You’d come up with a bullshit excuse for missing her wedding, claiming that your office had denied your request to get the week of her wedding off.
In reality, you’d had the week off for months, but you needed an excuse not to go, you need an excuse to miss watching her marry someone else.
Alex’s texts and phone calls had stopped, but you knew that wouldn’t be the end of it, if Alex Morgan was anything, it was stubborn.
What you didn’t realize was that stubbornness would lead to her knocking on your door a few weeks later, your eyes widening when you peer through the peephole and see Alex Morgan standing at your door.
You take a deep breath, your heart racing, your chest tightening as you try to calm yourself down, your eyes fluttering shut.
“Y/N, are you there?” Alex calls out and you clear your throat, pulling your door open with a smile on your face, one Alex notes, doesn’t meet your eyes.
“Hey.” She says softly, closing the distance between you, throwing her arms around your neck and giving you a squeeze.
Your arms slide around her middle, your heart racing as you hug her tightly, your eyes fluttering shut.
Alex’s hugs never ceased to make a warmth spread throughout your chest, and make your heart thump wildly, the close proximity between the two of you making your pulse race.
Alex buries her face in your neck and your breath catches in your throat, the tip of her nose brushing your jawline.
“Where have you been?” She asks as she pulls back her blue orbs locking with your Y/E/C’s.
You glance away, unable to look her in the eyes and blatantly lie to her, it’s not like you could tell her you were avoiding her calls and texts purposely.
“I’m sorry, things have been REALLY busy at the office, I literally come home and the second my head hits the pillow, I’m out.” You shrug, turning back to Alex who inspects you closely.
She could read you like an open book, and almost immediately she knew you were lying.
“Y/N...” She starts and your throat bobs.
“What?” You say as you turn away, making your way towards the refrigerator.
“Do you want anything?” You ask, acutely aware of the fact that Alex is moving towards you.
“Y/N...” She says again, her hand on your back, her touch making you stiffen.
You sigh, your eyes fluttering shut as the woman caresses your back gently, smiling when you sag slightly.
“You’ve been my best friend for over 20 years, I know when something’s wrong.” She says softly, subconsciously tracing your spine causing you to shiver.
Her throat bobbed as she traced your spine, reveling in the way you shuddered.
In all honesty, the way you reacted to her touch never ceased to make her heart race, in some circumstances, she’d brush her fingertips against you, just to see that reaction.
“Y/N...” She whispers again, gently taking your shoulder and turning you around slowly, her blue orbs widening when she realizes your Y/E/C orbs are filled with tears.
Alex cups your cheeks gently, frowning as a tear slides down your cheek, the inner turmoil in your dulled Y/E/C orbs visible.
“Y/N--
Alex pauses mid-sentence, her blue orbs wide and heart racing when your lips press against hers. She remains still, unsure of what to do as your lips move against hers.
Almost as quickly as they met hers, they’re gone, your eyes wide, your heart slamming violently against the confines created by your ribs.
Alex remains silent, unable to find her voice, before you turn and sprint out of the apartment, putting as much distance between yourself and her as possible.
************************************************************************
Alex wasn’t sure how long she stood in your apartment, unable to tear her gaze away from the place where you’d been originally standing.
She never expected when she’d come to your apartment that you would kiss her, the thought of your lips meeting hers making her heart race.
It was only when her phone started to ring that she was pulled from her daze, her head on a swivel as she surveyed your apartment, an apartment you’d bolted from sometime before.
Alex’s feet guide her towards your apartment door, the woman slipping out of your apartment before clicking the door shut behind her.
In all honesty, she was numb, her mind racing wildly, she had no idea what to do, but before she realized what was happening, she was sitting in the back of a taxi on her way home.
Needless to say, when you returned to your apartment hours later and realized it was empty, you broke down, knowing that the relationship between the two of you would never be the same again.
************************************************************************
Alex Morgan hadn’t tried to contact you after that, not a single text, or phone call, the woman doing everything she could to distance herself from you.
Despite that, you couldn’t help but stare down at the invitation still lying on your kitchen counter with each passing day, the date of the wedding looming.
You knew you weren’t welcome; you knew Alex wouldn’t want to see you after the unreciprocated kiss, but still you found yourself preparing for the event anyway, dressing in a well-tailored suit despite knowing you’d planned on not being seen.
Thankfully for you, the venue wasn’t indoors, the massive and extravagant wedding being held outside, the sun high in the sky and the sea’s waves crashing wildly against the rocks nearby.
It was easy considering you didn’t exactly have to sneak in, but you still chose to keep your distance, so much so that the wedding participants were barely visible.
You lean against a nearby tree, your throat bobbing when you catch sight of the woman you’d come there to see, a woman who you’d kissed months ago, a woman who didn’t feel the same way as you did, and never would.
Even at a distance, you knew Alex Morgan looked stunning in her wedding dress, the sight of her taking your breath away.
Your throat tightened, as did your chest, the knowledge that she was about to marry someone who wasn’t you making your heart tear in two.
It was only when she reached the altar that you felt tears prickling at the corners of your eyes, tears that were now streaming down your cheeks.
The man officiating the wedding starts to speak, the sound deafening to your ears despite being so far away.
Your palms begin to sweat as you watch the wedding from afar, the urge to get a closer look, and to move further away from the venue prominent.
You stand completely still, unable to keep yourself from watching the scene before you, a scene that was shredding your heart into tiny pieces.
You knew Servando was speaking, you could barely see his lips moving in your peripheral vision considering your gaze was focused entirely on Alex Morgan.
Your focus thus remained on her when the woman abruptly turned away from the man she was marrying and sprinted down the aisle, the guests gasping as Alex sprinted away from the venue.
************************************************************************
Alex Morgan couldn’t keep her mind off you, it was her wedding day, she was about to marry the man she’d been with for years, and she STILL couldn’t get her mind off you.
She’d replayed the moment in her head over and over again, remembered the way your lips felt against hers, and the look of fear in your eyes when you left the apartment.
“Alex?”
Alex’s eyes widen, her head snapping upwards, catching sight of her mother’s eyes in the mirror, the older woman’s eyes narrowed as she inspects Alex’s face through the reflection.
“Is something wrong...?” She asks, Alex’s mouth opening and closing rapidly before it snaps shut, the woman shaking her head slowly.
Her mother shakes her head, moving towards her daughter, her hands resting gently on her shoulders.
“Honey, you can tell me anything.” She whispers, tucking a wild wisp of hair behind her ear as she stares at her face in the mirror.
Alex shrugs, her throat bobbing as her mouth opens and closes yet again before she finally finds her voice.
“What if I’m making a mistake...?” She asks, her mother’s eyes widening.
“Why would you think that...?” Her mother asks, her thumb running back and forth along Alex’s shoulder.
She shrugs.
Pam hums, staring at her daughter before realization dawns on her face.
“Is this about Y/N?” She asks, Alex’s eyes widening as her eyes meet her mothers in the mirror.
“Why would it be about Y/N?” She asks, her mother smiling softly.
“Honey, I know you, and I know something happened between the two of you.” She says, gauging her daughter’s reaction, Alex’s gaze falling to her lap, taking particular interest in her manicured nails.
“What happened?” Her mother coaxes and Alex sighs deeply.
“She...” She pauses, inhaling deeply.
“She kissed me.” She exhales, Pam’s eyes widening, though with Alex’s head down, she misses the twitch at the corner of her mouth, the older Morgan fighting back a smile.
“When was this?” She asks, Alex playing with her fingers nervously.
“A few months ago.” She mumbles and Pam nods.
“Is that why you haven’t been talking?” She asks and Alex nods silently in response.
Pam studies her face quietly for a moment before she sighs, grabbing a nearby chair and taking a seat beside her daughter.
“What happened after?” She asks, Alex still staring at her lap.
“I didn’t kiss back, and she ran away.” She says, vividly remembering the look on your face after you’d kissed her.
Pam remains silent, pondering on what to say before she speaks.
“Did you want to kiss back?” She asks and Alex shrugs.
“I don’t know.”
Pam and Alex turn back towards the door, smiling when Alex’s father, Michael peeks his head in.
“It’s time.” He says softly, moving into the room, ducking down to kiss the top of Alex’s head, completely oblivious to the conversation he’d interrupted.
“Are you ready?” He asks, Alex’s blue orbs darting to her mothers in the mirror, the two sharing a silent conversation before Alex reluctantly nods.
“I’m ready.”
************************************************************************
Alex blindly made her way down the aisle, her father’s arm hooked with her own, the smiling man at the end of the aisle the man she was supposed to spend the rest of her life with.
Though she should’ve felt excitement, she didn’t, the thought of waking up to him every day in no way feeling as appealing as it would to wake up to you every day.
Alex plastered on a fake smile as she reaches the altar, Servando taking her hands with a loving smile, his thumbs caressing the back of her hands.
“I love you.” He whispers, turning away, completely unaware that she hadn’t returned the sentiment.
The officiant starts speaking, though his words fall on deaf ears, Alex lost in her own thoughts, thoughts of what would happen if she married the man in front of her.
If she went through with it, she would never be able to explore what she was feeling, she’d never know what it would feel like to feel your lips against hers again, she’d never know what it would feel like to actually kiss you back.
And as the seconds passed, she realized she wanted to know what it felt like to kiss you back.
“Alex?”
Alex blinks rapidly, picking her head up, realizing the officiant, and Servando were looking at her expectantly, Servando’s brows knitted in confusion.
“Do you have anything you’d like to say to Servando?” The officiant asks, and Alex swallows hard, her mouth opening and closing rapidly.
“I can’t do this.”
Those around her gasp as she turns on her heels and sprints down the aisle, as best as she can in heels.
Much like you had months ago, she sprints away, unaware that you’re watching her from afar and following after her.
************************************************************************
Unfortunately, you weren’t able to catch Alex before she disappeared into a taxi, the taxi carrying her a lengthy distance away before you reach the sidewalk.
You’re completely unaware that a number of the wedding guests had followed after the wayward bride.
You can’t help but jump when a hand settles on a shoulder, a hand you realize belongs to nonother than Pamela Morgan.
The older woman’s eyes lock with your own and you turn away, your throat bobbing.
“Do you have any idea where she could’ve gone?” You hear one of the wedding guests ask Servando, the man shaking his head rapidly.
“I don’t know.” He says sadly, pinching the bridge of his nose.
Pam meanwhile leans towards you, whispering in your ear.
“But you do.” She says, your eyes widening as you pull back abruptly.
You had an idea of where she might be going, a place the two of you frequented when you were growing up, a place the two of you would run to when you needed to get away from the world around you.
Pam nods, giving your shoulder a squeeze.
“Go.”
You swallow hard, searching her face momentarily before you nod, turning away from the older Morgan before you sprint off, intent on following after your best friend and the woman you were hopelessly in love with.
************************************************************************
The clearing in the small woods behind Alex’s childhood home that you’d frequented as kids hadn't changed all that much, the large rock the two of you would lounge on still resting a few feet away from the small stream running by.
And that’s of course where you find Alex, the woman completely unaware of your presence as you move towards her.
You frown at the sound of her soft sniffles, transported back to your teenager years when you’d found her in this very same position, crying about a boy who’d cheated on her.
Even back then, you were in love with her, and you still felt that same love for her to this day.
“Al...?” You whisper, the woman gasping as she sits up abruptly, her watery blue orbs finding your Y/E/C’s in an instant.
Her eyes rake down your front, her throat bobbing as she turns away.
You make your way towards her, taking a seat on the slab of stone beside her.
The world around you falls silent, the two of you gazing at the small stream in front of you, its water flowing past slowly and softly.
“How did you know where to find me...?” Alex croaks out and you smile.
“This was our spot, remember?” You ask and Alex shakes her head wiping her running nose with her forearm.
"I know." She sniffs, remembering the times she'd found you there when you were going through something, specifically when you were hit with the realization that you were having feelings for girls, that you were SUPPOSED to be having for boys, of course, according to society’s standards.
The two of you fall silent again, focusing on the water running by in front of you.
“Why did you run?" You whisper hoarsely, fearful of what her answer may be.
Alex remains silent, the woman gathering her thoughts before she speaks.
“Because I didn’t want to spend my entire life settling for Servando...” She pauses, slowly turning towards you, the woman delicately cupping your cheeks, your breath catching roughly in your throat.
“When all of this time, I could’ve had you.” She whispers, caressing your cheek, smiling when you lean into her touch.
Your eyes instinctively flutter shut as Alex leans in, her lips pressing gently against your own.
You'd kissed twice before, a meaningless kiss when you were kids, and a kiss that unfortunately, Alex hadn't reciprocated, but now, Alex Morgan had kissed you, and you in no way hesitated to kiss her back.
Your hands find their way to her waist as you kiss softly, her fingers knitting behind your neck as she pulls you closer.
The kiss made your heart race, and your body tingle, a feeling you'd been longing for since you were teenagers had now come to fruition, and you never wanted it to end.
It's only when you feel something wet on your cheek that you pull back, your eyes flashing open to reveal Alex's tear covered cheeks.
"Hey..." You say as you cup her cheeks, swiping her tears away with the pads of your thumbs.
"Please don't cry." You whisper as you hold her close, the woman shaking her head as she covers your hands with her own.
“I almost made the biggest mistake of my life.” She whispers, leaning into your touch as she turns head, kissing your palm.
“What do you mean?” You ask, unable to put two and two together in your mind at that moment.
Alex’s watery blue orbs meet yours as she leans back in, pressing another loving kiss to your lips, your bottom lip trapped between hers, as her hands cover your own, her fingers pushing their way in between yours.
Again, you part with much reluctance, Alex leaning her forehead against yours, the two of you breathing one another's air.
“I almost married someone who wasn’t you.” She says, your eyes widening as you study her face intently, your heart beating rapidly in your chest.
Your mouth opens and closes rapidly, your brain unable to respond to what Alex’s had just said, a fantasy you could’ve only ever dreamed up playing out before you.
Alex’s hands leave yours and she gently cups your cheeks, wiping away tears you hadn’t realized were streaming down your cheeks.
You squeeze your eyes shut, but you’re unable to keep your tears at bay as Alex scoots closer, resting her forehead back against yours.
“And I would’ve spent the rest of my life regretting it.” She says, brushing her nose back and forth against your own, your watery Y/E/C’s opening to meet Alex’s watery blues.
“I love you.” You whisper, your eyes widening when you realize what you’d said.
“Wh-What I meant was--
You’re cut off by the press of Alex’s lips against yours, the woman pulling back with a toothy grin.
“I love you too Y/N, I always have.” She says, tilting her head back to kiss your forehead.
“And I always will.”
You press a kiss to Alex’s lips again before turning back towards the stream, your arm slipping around her middle, her head resting on your shoulder.
It was in that moment, sitting in the spot that you’d frequented as kids, you in a suit and Alex in her wedding dress that you realized this was always meant to happen, and it all started with a kiss between two clueless kids who had no idea what it meant at the time.
Now, however, when you kissed, it meant something, it meant so much in fact that you’d eventually kiss in front of a crowd of people, you in a suit, and Alex Morgan in a wedding dress.
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Love and Deepspace: Boyfriend Headcanons ♡
I really need to start writing more Zanye stuff considering his my type in so many ways, don't get me wrong but I love all of them, however. Zayne was the one who pulled me into the game and made me stay :3
Again, most of the headcanons may or may not be already canon in game. But do not worry, I do have originals I've thought off :3
Reader here is Gender Neutral (They/Them)
If you haven't seen Xavier's part its here!
Warning: Some Spoilers from his Myths and minor swearing.
Reminder: The character belongs to INFOLD/ its respective creators; this is all just fictional work so please try to not take these too seriously :)
♡ Now, we all know that our favorite Doctor loves sweets right? I feel like in his feel time, aka when he doesn't have work and takes a break from the hospital - he'll practice how to bake sweet goodies.
♡ Think about it! He knows how to cook well and his knife skills are exceptional, so he would definitely make baking as a stress relief and hobby.
♡ I imagine him making sweets to either give to the patients in the hospital, or maybe his coworkers too, once they finish another hard day.
♡ Obviously, you'll get most of the treats as your his special person but not only do you get most of the goods - you also get the first taste! He would also ask you for your honest opinion, now if your scared in telling him the truth; don't be. He encourages it so he can improve better in baking :)
♡ While on the convo of cooking and food - we also know that this man can cook very well, not only is the meal balanced but the presentation and taste is immaculate.
♡ Don't worry picky eaters, you won't even taste the veggies he put in the meal so you'll be safe and not gag (At least not from the food yk what I'm sayin-)
♡ Zayne will ALWAYS make time for you. No matter how busy he is, you will always be his top priority.
♡ You are literally the whole exact reason why he choose to be a cardiac surgeon/doctor after all.
♡ That also means he worries over you like a mother hen, sometimes he can be overbearing and too much on the scolding or doting whenever you get injured.
♡ So obviously, that leads to a few fights here and there but you understand that his intentions are all good.
♡ You are the passenger princess ✩
♡ Like. His car will always have snacks that you love, extra necessities, ties and your playlist is saved on his car too!
♡ On his day offs and you guys feel like hiking somewhere far, he would stock up his car filled with stuff that you usually use at your home as he wants you to be as comfortable as possible.
♡ He tries not to spoil you... he tried to put a limit on everything so you don't get your way but your just so fucking adorable and stupid sometimes that he can't resist giving in... kidding he loves you-
♡ Dates would consist of; cat cafes, hiking, going to the gym, trying out cafes, kitty cards but mostly he would prefer to spend time with you at your or his place :)
♡ Love languages would be Acts of service and Quality time.
♡ As mentioned, he would do chores and he'd cook for you. He also prioritizes you over anything, all his time belongs to you... it has always belonged to you.
♡ Despite telling you to always limit your sweets/desert intake, it apparently doesn't apply to him.
♡ You both would frequently visit the dentist as his teeth would hurt from the amount of sweets (and sugar.) he'd consume, one wonders how he hasn't gotten diabetes yet....
♡ Zayne knows that he can come off as aloof or cold so he thinks about the words he says to you before he actually speaks it. Which often saves you both from arguments a lot.
♡ He also makes a point to be honest whilst not hurting your feelings, you won't have to worry about him lying about how you look or the answers he'll give to your questions.
♡ The only thing he'd be dishonest about tho is when his the one in need of help. His so used to not accepting help that he lies that his evol doesn't hurt him; when clearly, it does.
♡ You'd have to be super plushy to make him care enough to take a break for his own well-being, how ironic for being a Doctor right? Well, his thankful that in times when he can't be the doctor, you make sure to step in as a Doctor just for him and him only.
♡ Zayne often has trips to the Arctic; and when he does, he would either take you with him (Which is rarely.) or make sure to update you with pictures of/or with Pie, the scenery and with your requests - his face as well. You both won't be able to video call all the time while his at the arctic because the signal would be weak so he takes pictures instead.
♡ When he does get back from his trip, expect gifts and tea from him. He'll also make sure to kiss you deeply as he definitely missed you a lot.
♡ Cats aren't really fond of him right? You would force take him to cat cafes all the time and try to establish a connection between him and one of the cats! There was only one cat that liked him enough tho- But thats a win for you!
♡ Since its been said that you both do go hiking sometimes, I believe you guys would do some camping as well.
♡ He would take you on a hiking journey up a cliff filled with pretty flowers and Mayne jasmines that he may or may not have planted himself and you both would set up camp there.
♡ He would grill some food, take out the sweets he baked back at his place and cuddle you under the starlight... wishing for this all to last forever.
♡ He gets nightmares right? When he does; all he wants to do is seek you out, but he often feels guilty as he knows you have your own problems... So you have to rely on your 'Zayne Senses' to know whether the nightmares haunt him or not.
♡ When it is haunting him; all you need to do is Lead him to the bed, tuck his head into your chest - just enough so that he can hear your heartbeat while you whisper promises that you're never gonna leave him.
♡ Zayne has learned how to be patient, yet for you? His Patience will be tested. Whether it's you on those week - long missions or you not calling or messaging.
♡ Zayne does skincare..... I firmly believe he has friends that are dermatologists and that they give him skincare products sometimes as a gift. He gives some of them to you too, if it has good benefits or if you just want it.
♡ If you both are living together and your schedules are in-sync; you both would do your skincare routines together.
♡ I believe that Zayne - not only takes care of his body health but also his face - and not in a beauty standard way but in a 'Good looks makes the patient more at ease and would likely trust him more typa way'
♡ However, in months where the hospital gets busy; he develops a little stubble under his chin. Sometimes its on purpose as he likes the way you shave it or the way you sit on his lap if yk yk...
♡ Nicknames that he gives you are so sweet like honey... the way he calls out to you with that sweet nickname he has given you, it instantly fills you with butterflies.
♡ I like to think he'd call you Honey, Sweetheart and My Love a lot... but when your asleep in the comforts of your shared bedroom; he'd whisper My heart and My Jasmine, just soft enough that you could barely hear whilst slipping away to dreamland.
♡ In conclusion, Zayne is just filled of Husband Material ᯓᡣ𐭩
♡ His not perfect by all means (Expect you think he is) but he will do everything in his power to make sure that you'll not only be satisfied but also comfortable.
I had a lot of fun writing Zayne's part! Considering that his my main after all heh.
I hope that you all enjoyed reading Zayne's part and let me know if ya'll want a NSFW Version of these headcanons :)
See you guys on my next post~!
Rafayel's Boyfriend Headcanons, check it out too!
Reblogs are appreciated and Feedback/Comments are always appreciated! :3
(Note: please don't copy and paste my works anywhere, and if you do see them on other platform please inform me.)
#post by: ayo haruko/emiko#reblogs are appreciated!#feedback is appreciated!#love and deepspace#lnds#love and deepspace zayne#zayne love and deepspace#lnds zayne#zayne x reader#zayne x you#zayne x y/n#zayne x mc#zayne fluff#l&d#l&ds zayne#zayne#love and deepspace rei#love and deepspace li shen#love and deepspace Lee Seoeon
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*timidly knocks on your asks* Tr-trick or treat?
BOO! :D
I'm trying to fit my answers to what you guys like, and since I see that quite a few of your art posts are about Sakuatsu or Osasuna, I've dug around for a Sakuatsu one! Maybe one day I'll turn this into a whole Ao3 post, so here's just a sneak peek!
Atsumu wasn't an idiot, contrary to what Kiyoomi called him.
Kiyoomi had been acting off, and it definitely didn't get lost under Atsumu, someone who deeply analysed his spikers to assist them in the best possible way. Kiyoomi was a strong player, especially with how he could handle the ball, his flexible wrist letting him spin it. During training today, it was different, though. He ball kept losing its momentum, even more so as the training went on.
The others usually showered quickly, and Kiyoomi would take his time. This way, most of them would be finished by the time he got in the shower. Atsumu stayed this time, though, eyeing Kyoomi.
The taller man of the two glares back. "What." He huffs. "You've been staring at me all training, Miya." Kiyoomi points out, untying his shoes and slipping out of them.
"Are ya doin' okay?" Atsumu asks, blunt and to the point.
Kiyoomi looks at him pointedly. "If this is about my spikes, don't bother."
"I'm asking ya 'cause I care. Today was just training, yer performance was... Off." Atsumu puts it bluntly.
"Just a bad joint day." Kiyoomi mutters. "Worry about other things, Miya. I'll be fine."
Atsumu remembers Kita well. Their captain had been just as observant and wasn't hesitant to send them home when they were sick. He remembers Kita leaving him a note and pickled plums to make him feel better back at Inarizaki.
"Any... Way I can help?"
"What?"
"To help the pain, I mean." Atsumu rubs the back of his neck. "Ya should be takin' a break."
"I wasn't aware you were my captain. And..." He pauses for moment, his expression softening a little. "I should be fine."
"I'd be stupid to not make sure that my spiker is gettin' the rest he needs." Kiyoomi stands up and walks towards him. "How about this, since you're so stubborn." He chews on the inside of his cheek momentarily. "You come over to mine for dinner and help me with my routine. Will that make you stop whining?" Kiyoomi huffs, eyes squinting. He was playing right into Atsumu's hands, despite acting like he he was compromising.
Atsumu grins. "Sure does, Omi."
They shower and buy a bite to eat since neither of them feel like cooking.
Kiyoomi's apartment feels nice. Minimalistic, somewhat, with some cute memorabilia. Atsumu avoids staring too much, though, knowing Kiyoomi still felt prickly about having someone over. While taking off his jacket, Kiyoomi explains. "Usually, massages help me most. Since you're so eager to help me, you could help me with that?" He looks shy almost, with a blush on his face. As if it was humiliating to ask for help.
"Sounds good. Do ya have a cream or somethin'?"
Kiyoomi blinks. "Good... Good thinking, actually. I do."
He leaves swiftly to get it, while Atsumu sits down on the couch. He sets down the dinner on the coffee table, waiting patiently. Kiyoomi not only returns with the cream but is re-dressed in shorts and a shirt instead since his knees and ankles would need to be free from clothing. He sits down next to Atsumu, a few wrinkles forming between his eyebrows from the pain. He leans back into the couch.
"Do you uhm... Know how to massage joints?" He asks Atsumu, aware of the other watching him as he hands him the tube.
"I think I could use yer guidance." Atsumu takes some of the cream and applies it to his palms, warming it.
"Well, heat helps..." Kiyoomi offers his wrist, trying to relax.
"You can't really... uhm... Your hands are really warm." He is thrown off track when Atsumu takes his wrist, holding it gently in his warm, broad palms.
"Yer just cold, Omi."
"... Right. You can't really do much wrong. Deep, slow pressure is usually what does it. I'll let you know if you're doing awful." His remark had just a little bite to it, undermined by the blush decorating his ears and neck.
------
Thank you for the ask!
#I was thinking about making a Sakuatsu work based around hurt/comfort#So this kind of fits with the previous ask where Atsumu gets a concussion!#sakuatsu#sakusa kiyoomi#miya atsumu#haikyuu#haikyuu fanfiction#my fics#Feedback is appreciated!#arts fics
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Pausing to take time to practice his intended body type & finish a short story due Friday, but a redesign is definitely cooking!
#Feedback is appreciated!#He looks like he needs a beard TBH.#oc: memo#eureka#my art#digital art#sketch#original character#oc art#artists on tumblr#character design#art
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I am patiently waiting to see what you come up with in the gajinka department for fecto elfilis ps your art is amazing
Well anon, you've inspired me! Here's Fecto Elfilis (With Elfilin for scale), enjoy ~
#I'll def redesign it for the future but I like the concept#Feedback is appreciated!#I apologize if you were expecting someone handsome anon#Answered asks#Elfilis#Elfilin#Gikabi#body horror#Kirby gijinka#CapnArt
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It's MA (Capricorn)! Thank you so much for the reading. May I know if it's G (Scorpio) that I will marry? Does me becoming nurse manager depend on me choosing which path of career to take? Thanks 🍇💋
hi again ma! i got a maybe again for your first question and a yes for your second question
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ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹ cw include: oral f receiving, multiple orgasms, praise ….oh and you have two bfs in this!!
“i-i can’t do it! s’too much i’m too sensitive,” you tugged at suguru’s bun, making it more disarrayed than it already was. your toes curled when you felt eren leave wet kisses on your neck, his tatted hands moving from your hips to your chest, now tweaking at your nipples.
eren licked from your jaw to the lobe of your ear, nibbling ever so softly on it. “maybe you should give her a break sugu, poor thing said she’s sensitive,” now eren wasn’t serious of course—the sadist in him wanted to see you ruined just as much as suguru. suguru hummed against your pussy, his tongue flicking at your clit one last time before coming up for air.
“you say that yet…. you’re holding her legs back even more. ‘oughta be ashamed of yourself…ain’t that right sweet thing,” suguru asked, kissing the fat of your thigh before biting the soft skin, making you jolt. sugu had pulled two orgasms out of you so far and normally you’d be able to handle at least three maybe even four! but unfortunately you spent the day with eren and that man is as insatiable as they come.
“y-you’re both fuckin’ terrible,” you sniffled, pussy clenching around nothing when you felt suguru nudge your swollen clit with his nose. eren pinched your nipples, grunting a soft ‘watch your mouth’. suguru was quick to latch onto your left nipple, the metal ball from his tongue piercing making you mewel.
between the two men surprisingly suguru the softest one for you. even when he had to punish you at times for being a brat he’d make up for it with sweet kisses to your trembling lips while three of his fingers stuffed your soaked pussy. eren on the other hand….lets just say you’ve never acted up in front of him since the first time he reprimanded you, but that’s a story for another time.
suguru trailed his tongue from your chest to your neck, nipping at the sweet smelling skin. “lemme make you cum one more time sweetness then i’ll be done, i promise,” he whispered the last part directly in your ear, reveling in the way your body shivered at his words. eren craned his neck to speak to you in your other ear, now whispering words of encouragement. “you can do it baby, i know how tired that lil pussy is from me wearing her out but you can give sugu another one right? he didn’t have you all to himself today the way i did”
“c’mon sweetness i know you got another one in you.”
“you’re such a good girl, i know you’ll say yes and make your boyfriends proud right?”
oh you were in a treacherously long night.
#this is just a little tease to see how ppl like it#feedback is always appreciated so let ya girl know!!#geto smut#geto suguru smut#geto x reader#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#eren smut#eren yeager smut#attack on titan smut#aot smut#eren yeager x reader#eren yeager x black reader#geto suguru x black reader
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𝐅𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑’𝐒 𝐃𝐀𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐄𝐑 ♱
𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒. preacher’s daughter x atheist trope, historical AU - 1930s, conflict of religion, childhood friends to lovers, making out in the back of an empty church, forbidden love, eventual smut [MDNI], fem!Reader, lovesick!Sukuna, outdoor sêx, loss of vírginity, fíngering, overstímulatiön, örgasm denial, degrâdation kink, choking kink
𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓. 15.4k
𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑’𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄. hated every second of writing this. but, whatever, another historical au has been written ☑ anywho, here it is, and here you are, angel @antizenin // read on ao3, dividers by @/saradika
“She looked like a religious icon, like somebody you’d sacrifice yourself for.”
You remember the day you met him like yesterday—well, how could you not? He stood out like a sinner in a church full of preachers.
The first time you saw him was at a funeral, but, don’t start feeling bad, the funeral was for some old lady living down the street whom you hardly knew. He sat in the farthest pew to the left in the front corner, and, with his height, you could’ve mistaken him for someone who had already reached puberty, but, nay, he was only a year your senior.
Even with the canorous singing of the choir in the background, and the words of your father droning on in the distance, the only thing you could seemingly focus on was the color pink. His hair, the boy’s hair—it was pink!
You had noticed the boy’s unnatural hair color while you were walking down the aisle for the Eucharist, and you happened to catch notice of him from your peripheral vision. Now, if you were just a little bit less behaved, you would’ve made a dash for it right then and there, and went over to inspect the boy’s hair, but no, your father had taught you better than most children your age, and you waited until the end of Service before you made an attempt at befriending the boy.
Mass had dragged on for what felt like longer than usual, and you hoped, with great enthusiasm, that if you waited outside the doors of the church for the boy to appear, you would only be subjected to waiting for five minutes. But boy, oh boy, were you wrong.
You were the first one to exit the church, and as attendees walked out after you, you had no choice but to stand awkwardly to the side, with your back leaning against the doors, and your hands interlocked behind your back, as you bid them all farewell. It was . . . unpleasant, and rather boring, if you did say so yourself, but it wasn’t the worst thing you could’ve spent nearly half an hour doing that afternoon. After all, you were sort of a celebrity in the small town of Bromwell.
Your mother was a well-known, and viable midwife, while, on the other hand, your father—he was. . . Your father was the preacher of the only church in Bromwell. The town was small in size, but not in population, no. Most of the populace consisted of devout Christians, but the religion had begun to lose followers when there weren’t any places of worship for a myriad of leagues. Your father took it upon himself to establish a church, and from then until now—well, you get the picture.
Of present time—in the year 1933 anno Domini, and of the small town you know as Bromwell, there wasn’t much diversity between your neighbors. Bromwell was bland, boring; everyone’s the same, everything’s the same. As a matter of fact, since birth, everyone, including you, was taught the one true principle; “Live by God, and by God, you shall live.” It was short, it was concise, and you knew, or, well, you believed it to be the truth of the world.
If Bromwell was bigger, and as populated as a city, there would, perhaps, be a billboard near the sheriff’s building, with the motto of the town written on it in a big, bold font.
Anyway, by now, you must certainly get the picture, right?
Bromwell, Alabama. Far from any life other than the ones living in it. Dusty roads, humid summers, and dry winters. Not a pleasant place to live in, especially in times such as the Dust Bowl. It made waiting outside of the church a great pain. For seemingly four hours you stood outside—so many people exited in the duration, that, you even got to see your father as he left, but when he invited you to come on home with him, you coughed up some lame excuse, and he, after tipping his hat, walked off with your mother by his side.
Sighing, and clearly exhausted from standing around for so long, you were just about to call after your father, and take him up on his invitation, when, as if by the mercy of God, you heard a voice behind you, and the sound of doors slamming shut right afterwards.
“What the hell is a girl like you still doing here? Service ended a while ago, or, do people here just not know how to tell the time?”
Okay, that . . . that is not how you expected the pink-haired boy to sound. As you turned around to meet his eyes, your heart dropped to your feet. What the?—He was even taller in person! But, fortunately, his hair was the same as when you first saw him. Pink and rosy and uncombed. His eyes were unnatural, too, a mix, or some other sort, of a reddish brown color.
He walked outside alone, no guardian or parent in sight, no older sibling or relative. He was dressed rather nicely—not like a wealthy gentleman, but, rather, like he was living well-off—but, either way, it was nothing like the usual apparel of most residents here in Bromwell. You concluded that he was, without a doubt, not from here (which would also explain why this was your first meeting with him, you noted).
“Why would you say that?” you whisper-shouted, after looking around your surroundings in case anyone heard.
“Say what?”
“The H word. We’re right outside of a church, dummy; aren’t you afraid of God smiting you where you stand?”
“We’re outside, not inside; God won’t persecute me.”
You rolled your eyes. “God won’t persecute you, but I sure will. My papa built this church for all of Bromwell, y’know.”
“You call this a church? Looks like a shack to me.”
“Hey! There’s not much to work with here in the country. He worked hard to gather supplies and planks and all of that.”
“Pfft—Yeah, right. All of that junk, you mean.”
“What—What the hell is your problem, you . . . you jerk?”
“I thought you said not to say that word, squirt.”
You bit your tongue. “Why don’t you just shut up.”
“‘m not the type to take orders from little girls like you,” he taunted, crossing his arms over his chest, “but okay.”
“. . .”
“. . .”
“Say something, dimwit,” you began, caving in. “You’re boring me.”
“I didn’t know I was your personal jester.”
You stuttered for words.
Questioning whether that was your first time hearing sarcasm, the boy laughed at your hesitance. It was almost sinister-sounding. “You’re kinda funny for a squirt, you know; I like that, you’re not like all the other wimps I’ve met so far. Hey, how about you be an upstanding citizen of Bromwell for once and ask me for my name or something? Do country folk not have manners?”
Still stuttering, you gave him your name, and offered a hand to shake, but it was declined.
“Don’t even think about it. I’m not touching that hand,” was the boy’s curt reply, after he introduced himself as Sukuna. “Not ever.”
“Why not?”
“Do I have to explain everything to you?” he scoffed, leaning down to your level, and getting all up in your face. “Your grimy little hand will give me cooties.”
The eight-year-old-you had never heard that word one day of your life, and a confused expression soon made its way onto your face.
Sukuna audibly facepalmed, and groaned into his hand. “C’mon, don’t tell me I have to explain what cooties are, too.”
That was it.
That was how you befriended Sukuna, though, he only accepted begrudgingly. It was more like an agreed companionship than friendship, honestly. Sukuna taught you more than any other mediocre teacher could have, and was, at least in the beginning, like the brother you had never had.
Sukuna was from the city, and, with his highly contrasting experiences and different walk of life, he had seen more and heard more than you (A/N: no offense to my country folk readers lmao). Sukuna explained slang—that was a big part of what he did as a sort of “mentor” to you. He also talked about the different types of weather he got, the views he saw from various points, the feeling of man-made pools and entertainment from television.
“TVs are for the rich,” Sukuna explained one time; “but my grandfather used to work under this nice man who occasionally let me sit in his living room and watch basically whatever I wanted, while he and my grandfather talked or something.”
“What did you watch?” you asked.
“. . .None of your business,” he said, blushing, “nothing that you should be watching, anyway.”
“‘Kuna, I don’t know if schooling is much different in the city than in the country, but we’re only a year apart.”
“A year is a big difference in knowledge.”
Sukuna wasn’t a particularly nice boy to you, but he was the closest you ever got to having a real friend, so you learned to take his jokes and banter with a grain of salt.
At school, you were a pretty sociable person, but your friends . . . well, weren’t really friends. They liked sitting with you during Service because it ensured them the best spots in the best pews, but that was it. They never ate lunch with you, never played with you during recess, and talked to you as if you were a mere stranger to them. They didn’t even think of you as a friend, honestly.
But Sukuna . . . Sukuna did.
While he may never have played silly games with you at lunch-recess, because he explained he was “too old to act like a silly, little child,” he still sat down on the innumerable blades of grass or dusty patches of dirt with you, and just . . . talked. You two talked a whole lot.
Sometimes, Sukuna would lie on his back, with shade from the tree above your figures granting him freedom, and he would toss an apple to and fro. The first time he did it, you were beyond confused, and brushed it off as “city-people behavior.” But, when he gave the apple to you after recess ended, and said, “Tossing it back and forth makes it taste sweeter,” that’s when you realized he was probably going to be your best friend for life.
Most people preferred to steer clear from you; they deemed you a goody two-shoes because of your father’s occupation as a preacher of faith, and didn’t bother listening to words that you actually said, but, rather, judged you merely on what was proclaimed by your father on Sundays. It was a common idea among your peers that you were some prim and proper “teacher’s pet,” or, well, in your case: “preacher’s pet.”
“What makes them think that?” asked Sukuna, one afternoon.
The two of you were outside at recess, squatting near a small pond; Sukuna was teaching you how to catch frogs—a hobby he had picked up the last summer he spent in the city, and also a hobby he hoped he could turn into a tradition with you.
“I . . . don’t know. I’ve spent almost half of my life with them as my classmates and neighbors, and I still don’t know,” you frowned, struggling to get a hold on a particularly slippery frog. “Do you . . . think I did something wrong?”
Sukuna chose not to respond, his eyebrows knitting together, creating an unreadable, conflicted expression on his face, as his grip around the neck of an innocent frog tightened to an extreme extent.
The silence dragged on for several minutes, only the croaking sounds of the frogs interrupting the calm, and your occasional grumbles of frustration at failure to capture said frogs.
Finally, shaking his head, as if escaping a trance, Sukuna didn’t say anything more as he finally released his unforgiving grip on the frog in his grasp, and threw it into your hands, to which you caught the amphibian with an elated squeal.
This marked the day everything changed.
During school, out on the playground, while walking on the dusty roads, even during Service—Sukuna had silently sworn to God that if anything or anyone were to hurt you ever again, he would be there.
He didn’t like to say it, and you knew that, but you had gradually learned over time that Sukuna wasn’t used to people being there for him, but maybe, just maybe, thought Sukuna, if he were there for you, you wouldn’t end up going down the same path as him.
And when Sukuna had his mind on something, he wouldn’t yield for anyone. But, worry not, Sukuna couldn’t care less about the black eyes he got from beating up kids who talked down on you. He knew you would never let him do it if he told you his plans beforehand, and he wasn’t exactly keen on having you see him do that, either, so he never got into too much trouble when you were by.
Sukuna saw his reflection in your eyes that day you told him the other kids didn’t like you much, and he had never wanted anything more than to get rid of the Fifth Commandment.
There were, however, other alternatives to violence (A/N: shocking, right?), and Sukuna took up the habit of hanging out with you more often. Well, actually, “habit” doesn’t quite cut it; at first, it was like a hobby—a sort of pastime to get his mind off of homicidal activities, then it was like something built into his everyday schedule, and then . . . and then it was life.
Throughout his nine years of living, Sukuna had never enjoyed many sports, movies, or books, but everything seemed to change when you came into the picture. You—a rowdy, willful, and unexpectedly and unintentionally funny little girl, whose father was the town of Bromwell’s preacher. You wanted to be his friend? You wanted to sit next to him during school? No; no, that couldn’t be, thought Sukuna, every time he laid awake at night.
But, with beginning friendships, always comes the “getting to know each other” stage, and that was perhaps the most enjoyable two weeks Sukuna had ever spent with someone other than just himself or with his grandfather.
“Do you have a favorite color?” you asked, one day.
The two of you were walking home from school together (another tradition you two created), and Sukuna would’ve answered, had you not cut him off immediately before he had any opportunity to.
“Wait, no, let me guess.” You paused your walking, put a hand on your hip, and rubbed your chin in thought. “Hmm, I would guess pink, but it’s literally the color you see every time you look in the mirror, and, if I were you, I would grow sick and tired of it.”
Sukuna shook his head in laughter, shoving his hands into the pockets of his pants. “You read into things too much.”
“Psychological tactic to get me farther from the right answer? Yeah, I think so.”
“Proved my point exactly, squirt.” Sukuna looked at you with a gaze neither you nor even Sukuna could comprehend as eight and nine year olds. There was a weird beating in his chest when he realized you were already looking at him, and he laughed again to mask his fragility.
You disregarded his words, and continued on. “Red? No. . . Blue—actually, purple? Wait, is it. . . Green! Yes, it has to be. It’s green, isn’t it?”
With all the hope you had in your body, you had greatly hoped that you were correct, but by the time you had guessed the color purple, Sukuna had already forgotten what his favorite color was, and what he said next was not his proudest moment now that he looked back at it as a man.
“Do you . . . like green?” he asked, redirecting the question to you. His eyes darted from corner to corner, avoiding eye contact as he tried to give off a nonchalant demeanor.
“Why wouldn’t I? I like all colors, y’know—maybe it’s just me, but I feel like if I liked one color too much, the others would get sad, and that’s why . . . that’s why. . .” You faltered, before beginning anew. “Anyway, yeah, I like green, but only when pickles aren’t a part of the equation. And, they’re not a part of the equation, . . right? You can promise me that much.”
Oh, but Sukuna could promise you much more. So much more.
“Sure. Yeah, no pickles.”
You looked at Sukuna with a reassured look after his declaration, and then, before you began walking again, you looked at him with a different look. A weird look—as if his presence disturbed you.
“Are you going to answer my question?” you asked, raising a brow.
“I just did.”
“No, silly, the other one. Is it green? Is your favorite color green?”
“I like green, yeah.”
That was how it went with Sukuna. No straight answers. Never, nada.
Even while you two ate lunch together side by side, while you two reenacted and geeked out over your favorite book scenes and movie scenes, while you two played a game of taking turns to crawl into a tire and have the other push them down the dusty, dusty roads—It was a racing game, (only occasionally, actually,) where you two would compete on who would make it to the designated end of the track first. You and Sukuna had neither the time, nor the care, honestly, to make authentic prizes, so the winner usually just had bragging rights for the rest of the day (or until the winner’s streak was broken).
You laugh about it now that you’re older, but you vaguely remember how, one time, you had rolled your ankle while going down a hill in a tire, and Sukuna had looked at you with an expression so full of sympathy and guilt that you actually couldn’t recognize him at first. It was nothing like Sukuna, and he even offered to let you punch him in the face as a strange form of compensation. But you laughed, simply choosing to walk it off.
Of course, like the stubborn mule he was, Sukuna didn’t let it end there, and he wouldn’t stop harassing you and forcing you to punch him until you finally put a hand on his shoulder, and looked him in the eye, saying, with as much humor as an eight year old could muster, “If you are so sorry, you can go and confess the sin you committed today: hurting a girl.”
With this, you hadn’t originally intended for Sukuna to go to Confession; you were merely joking, using sarcasm, as Sukuna had called it before, or so you remembered. But Sukuna, having not realized this, looked at you with great surprise, and almost reeled backwards, tripping over his untied shoelaces.
“You want me to . . . confess?” Although Sukuna tried to appear composed as he repeated your suggestion, you could clearly tell he was either horrified or extremely uneasy. His eyebrows knitted together, and he stared at you as if you were asking him to throw himself off a bridge.
“Well, yeah,” you answered, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world; you wanted to keep the joke going as long as possible, for you thought Sukuna would be somewhat proud of you for finally having tricked him at something, and you couldn’t wait to see the look on his face when he realized he had been bested. “Confess—I want you to confess.”
“Is that . . . absolutely, totally, really necessary?”
You grinned. “It’s absolutely, totally, really necessary for me to find out what ridiculous act of penance my dad will give you.”
When Sukuna realized you were joking the entire time, he audibly let out a breath of relief, and tried to casually laugh it off afterwards in order to cover up his clearly worried expression from before. But, Sukuna didn’t high-five you for succeeding in playing him, he didn’t laugh at your cleverness and how long you lasted character, he didn’t acknowledge anything regarding your prank, for that matter, at all.
Maybe you didn’t notice it at first due to how young you were at that time. But nowadays, you don’t joke about anything like that. Though, you did have many opportunities soon after that incident.
It wasn’t the last time Sukuna behaved strangely under the topic of a church-related subject, and it wasn’t the last time you mentioned a church-related subject either.
Children, the age of eight years, are usually at the stage of receiving their First Communion, or, at least, that was the way it went here in Bromwell. You had received the Eucharist a few weeks before you met Sukuna, so there was no need for you both to converse about it. Sukuna, on the other hand, was a twelvemonth older than you, and was expected to have already received his First Communion before moving to Bromwell.
He said it was the truth, you heard it was the truth, but you had never seen this supposed “truth.”
It wasn’t like you watched and observed your friends as they went up for the body of Christ, and made note of who was sat the whole time, but . . . you and Sukuna weren’t just friends—you two were best friends, and you thought, or, at least, you heard from Sukuna, that it was normal for best friends to be able to notice when their best friends were ill, or feeling down, or acting unlike themselves.
So, was it really strange for you to realize that Sukuna never actually received the body of Christ?
In some instances, he was stuck in the bathroom during the time, sometimes he was tying his shoelaces (but it would be an awfully long time spent tying one’s shoelaces), and sometimes, he was just nowhere to be found—even if you nearly cracked your neck turning around the whole church to find him. It was almost like he was a ghost, who disappeared and vanished.
A malevolent phantom, even.
But, the Eucharist wasn’t the only thing. Sukuna rarely said prayers aloud. He mumbled them, actually, and most of the time, you couldn’t even tell if he was mumbling or not. Sukuna always had his head down, and his eyes casted to the floor during prayer. There were rare occasions, though, where he would be looking up, but that was only if he was standing outside. Never inside, no.
In all honesty, this was quite the strange observation to make. Noticing your friend rarely prays aloud? Realizing his absence when others go to receive the Body and Blood?
At first, you didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, didn’t want to bring it up, even, but . . . at eight years old, you were so new to the world, and the world was so new to you. And, you just couldn’t help but let your curiosity get the best of you on one Wednesday afternoon.
School was out, you and Sukuna were outside and drawing in the dirt with sticks in his front lawn, and the sun was shining on your face, drying and hardening the bits of mud on your cheeks, hands, and elbows. There was a warmness about you, and a radiant gleam in your eyes—it scared the living daylights out of Sukuna, and he rarely held eye contact for longer than needed. The boy had been much more cautious around you lately, and you didn’t like it. Not one bit.
“Sukuna,” you whispered, to further get his attention as you simultaneously poked at him with a nearby stick. “Sukuna.”
He grunted, as if to give a sign that he heard you. (Or, maybe, he just wanted you to stop poking him.)
“Sukuna, I think you’re really weird.”
“. . .”
“Okay,” you paused, raising your hands in defense, “I’m sure that’s not surprising, since, like, everyone thinks you’re weird,” you laughed; “but I just wanted to point it out, because I noticed . . . something.”
“Okay. . ?” Sukuna raised a brow, never once pausing in his artwork—he was drawing a peacock, an animal you had never seen while living in Bromwell, and an animal he had apparently seen on television once, in the city. He briefly mentioned it earlier, and, due to your pestering and questioning regarding the animal, also wanted to show you what it looked like.
You took in a deep breath, and spat out what you supposedly noticed, and needed to say. “You never come up for Communion.”
Sukuna stopped like a deer caught in headlights (a phrase that Sukuna taught you; at school, it was labeled a figurative expression: a simile), and looked—not at you—but at his hands. He looked at his dirty, scarred hands, wiith an emotion on his face that you could not recognize.
“. . .”
You took his silence as a sign to continue, or, well, you interpreted it as one, but it might’ve just been your talkative nature speaking.
“Why is that? Have you not received your First Communion? I won’t tell anyone, swear.” You held out your pinky in the possibility that he would make you solemnly swear. “Won’t even make fun of you.”
But Sukuna didn’t take your pinky, didn’t even glance at it. He only spoke after a long moment’s pause, when he realized there was no escape. “It’s . . . not that. I received it—my First Communion. Got it when I was your age, actually. But, ah, you probably guessed that already.”
“So, why don’t you receive Communion anymore?”
“Geez, squirt, you sure ask a lot.” Sukuna laughed, and scratched the back of his neck with the hand that wasn’t holding a stick.
You grinned, the heaviness in your chest seeming to alleviate. “I can’t help it, I’m a curious person, you know—”
Sukuna cut you off as he moved closer to the spot where you currently sat on the dirt. He began to work, scratching and scraping at a new drawing. Only this time, it wasn’t a male peafowl. Wasn’t even a bird or an animal. It was a woman. Sukuna responded to your still unanswered question by drawing a woman.
Now, you knew Sukuna was an artist, but this was just. . .
“Sukuna, she’s. . . She’s beautiful. But, who is she?” you asked. “Is she someone you know? An old crush from the city?”
Sukuna almost laughed. “That would . . . be incestuous.”
You scrunched your nose, your face wrinkling in the process. “What does that word mean?”
“Just . . . shut up, okay? For a few minutes at least.”
You nodded, with some reluctance.
“My mother—this is my mother,” Sukuna began, when he was done with the drawing. “When I was just around your age, fresh out of the first grade, and living a pretty . . . decent childhood in the city, my mother. . . She was,” he hesitated, “diagnosed with a cancer I don’t even want to waste my breath naming. It doesn’t deserve to be recognized for mortality.” He scoffed, continuing.
“My father was never present in my life, and I had neither a brother nor a sister. My mother worked a total of three jobs to feed us both and take care of my grandfather. Do you know what that’s like? No; no, you don’t. But that’s of no importance, really.
“I don’t know much about my father. My mother never liked speaking about him, and Grandpa only ever mentioned his name if he wanted to berate my mother for choosing such a man. Nevertheless, I still wished he would’ve been there when my mother fell ill. I tried calling him—multiple times, actually, but it only ever went to voicemail, and I never had the courage to speak into the void. I was afraid. Shy. I didn’t think there was anyone who would listen.”
You noticed his sudden pause, the dimness of his eyes, and you wanted to at least lighten the subject. “But, there was someone—who could’ve listened.”
Sukuna finally looked at you. “God? Is that who you’re referring to? You mean to tell me God could’ve listened? You are just,” he sucked in a breath, “so hilarious. God could’ve listened? Well, guess what, kid, he didn’t. Could’ve, but didn’t.
“I prayed three times a day, and more times than I could count on both hands in the evening, in the night, while I laid in bed, while I dreamed up a fantasy where stupid, stupid illnesses didn’t exist. I prayed like a madman. Do you hear that? A madman. Probably made it to God’s list of ‘Most Devout Followers,’ too, with the amount of Amens I muttered each week.
“So many prayers. So many prayers. But did that stop cancer? Did that prevent her passing? Did that aid in her recovery? God—fucking—damnit, do you realize? it didn’t. She’s gone. Six feet under. Flowers bloom from her grave, and yet no one’s there to water them.”
You didn’t have the resolve to point out a nine year old just cursed in front of you. You didn’t notice, anyway. “Sukuna—”
“Are you going to tell me it was God’s will? Are you going to tell me God loves me all the same? Even though He took my mother away? The woman who gave me life? Breath? No. Maybe God loves me, but He doesn’t know how to love me. Doesn’t know how I want to be loved. Loves me in a way I don’t understand. . . God loves me, so I’ve been told; but I want Him to stop.”
Sukuna doesn’t know how much you cried that night.
The both of you parted soon after he told you about his life before Bromwell; the silence became overwhelming, no more drawings were engraved onto the dirt, and the sticks were left scattered on the ground. There, really, was no other choice.
You went home that evening, and asked your father about God. About religion. About death. You wondered why people were left to die, why there was suffering and oppression in the world. Was it truly all in God’s will? If He created everyone in His image, did He create everyone to die, too? Why were we to perish? to finish? to end? You thought He loved you—wanted the best for you.
And, from what you understood, Sukuna thought that, too. Or, well, he used to. Sukuna used to be just like you. Prayed every day and every night, went to Service on Sundays, and came up for Communion like any other devotee. But, that was when he believed, that was when he had faith; that was when he had reason to have faith. That was then, and now is now. Sukuna gave up on his religion, and his religion abandoned him. His move from the city to the country was based on convenience, but what is convenience in a world based on faith? Belief in the invisible?
Your father didn’t have much to say, and to answer you with. He honestly wasn’t expecting to have this conversation with you so soon, and at such a young age. But, what did he have to say, made you even more lost. Just as lost, as someone you believed you knew.
The proclamation of Genesis 3:19: “By the sweat of your face you will eat bread, till you return to the ground, because from it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”
Death was an interesting topic for you, from that moment until now. Since your birth you had been taught the one true principle: “Live by God, and by God, you shall live.” But, after Sukuna opened your eyes a little further, and introduced death in a way you hadn’t acknowledged before, you didn’t know if there was one true principle at all. How were you to live by the words of a god you could neither see nor hear nor feel, and how was that very god going to grant you the will to live, if you were to perish in the end?
You had never once doubted the existence of God. You had been born into your religion, and you didn’t question whether you would have your funeral in a church or not. But . . . as you look at your rosary while you kneel at the side of your bed before you sleep, hanging your head in prayer and whispering words of invocation, you cannot help but remember his face. His face while he talked about his mother. His face while he talked about his father. His face while he talked about his grandfather.
Did you look like that when you spoke to God? Did you carry a burden so heavy, so you could lift it up to your Creator—in the end? The one who would rid you of your sorrows, your griefs, your troubles? But, how was that to be done? When the Creator gave you those in the beginning?
You knew how.
Death.
But, was that really the end?
There was always Heaven, as well. The place where you shall reside once you meet your finish. The place where you shall live with your god, in eternal life. But, could it be, that you would see—see others that had gone and passed, just like you. . ? Would you see his mother? Would you see him? Would you see those eyes? Those eyes that held such emotion one could not possibly comprehend?
Children don’t understand much, Sukuna was right. A year was a large difference in knowledge. But, you could only hope that Sukuna didn’t know how much you cried that night. For him, for his mother, for his grief, for everyone who had lost a life—whether it was theirs and their own, or it was a loved one’s.
You didn’t have a conclusion or a thesis; you didn’t have a hypothesis in the first place. But, from this night on to the next, you soon began to think, that when the stars eventually burned, when the world flipped on its side, when the seas came out dry, maybe then—maybe then you would know, instead of believe, maybe then you would know, that there really was a god out there . . . a god who hated you.
For, you remember his face from that evening like it was yesterday, and you feared you would never forget—more or less, you feared the eventual day that face would soon be your own.
***
You didn’t utter a single question regarding any aspects or traditions or customs of religion for the next decade. You didn’t mention Christmas, didn’t talk about prayer, didn’t bring up the Gospel. And you rarely, if ever, spoke about your father to Sukuna. This was, however, all within your will; you chose to respect Sukuna’s wellbeing, and you decided to remain as neutral as ever when you two were together.
The first time you saw Sukuna, after the week where he confessed his past to you, was awkward. The room you two were in was stuffy, and humid, and you felt as if you couldn’t speak. Words didn’t leave your throat, and Sukuna’s eyes never met yours. He sat as far away from you as possible, and you wondered if he hated you, but then you wondered how that could ever be. You never spoke ill of Sukuna, especially not to his face, and you never did anything he was uncomfortable with or detested.
The only thing Sukuna held against you was your father, a preacher. A preacher of the very religion Sukuna swore he could never take up again.
It wasn’t your fault he converted, so why was he avoiding you? Why was he punishing you?
When you were eight years old, you feared no one but God. And that showed, because, when you stalked up to Sukuna—wearing old, scruffed overalls and muddy boots—you didn’t cower before him, didn’t get on your knees and ask him to be your friend again. Instead, you did what no one else ever did or dreamed of: you slapped him.
“What is your problem?” you asked, watching as Sukuna barely flinched from the assault.
“My problem?” he laughed. “You’re the one who slapped me.”
Honestly, Sukuna would have never spoken to you again after his confession, had you not approached him first. He didn’t know whether you befriended him solely for him, or for any sayings from the Bible. But, it was nice: knowing that you were his friend despite conflict of religion. He had been avoiding you lest you bring up the topic of “Atheism, Sukuna, and God” up to your father. For, well, Sukuna wasn’t exactly keen on that man knowing any of his business, and obtaining the knowledge from his daughter, no less, who asked everything from an innocent heart.
On the other hand, needless to say, you were glad Sukuna wasn’t the least bit affected by the happenings of last week. Maybe he frowned and sighed when speaking about his deceased mother, but that didn’t last, or, well, it didn’t seem like it. Sukuna—the Sukuna you knew—was back. And he was as cunning, witty, and snarky, as ever. Perhaps his confession brought the two of you closer.
Sukuna was never afraid of bringing up anything to you again (not like he ever was, he just didn’t feel the need), and you—the same. But, if there ever was a case, you two had mutually and unanimously created a tradition of engraving your confessions in the dirt: drawing with sticks what you could never even dare to whisper. Your bond was stronger than ever, and, as the years passed by, the two of you soon grew inseparable.
So inseparable, in fact, that . . . by the age of thirteen, you had even developed a little, silly crush on the pink-haired boy. Well, actually, back then, he was a boy, but that was then, and now is now. Sukuna wasn’t a little boy anymore, and you weren’t just a little girl anymore. The two of you were a little grown, a bit older: teenagers—thirteen and fourteen. You didn’t know exactly when it first began, but, when you started laughing at jokes that Sukuna said (even when they weren’t funny) just because he said them, and when you started to toss around all your apples as if it were a reflex, and when you started to become a little less independent, that’s when you knew.
You were the eldest daughter to the town’s preacher. Your parents weren’t often home, and you learned, in the process, to fend for yourself most of the time. You were cheeky, said jokes that sometimes cut too deep, and were used to doing things yourself. But, when Sukuna came into the story, most things changed. You were both the eldest childs, and you were both the only childs. What’s worse, was how stubborn you both were—Little Miss “I Can Do It Myself” and Mister “Sit Down.”
Sukuna taught you to relax, while also simultaneously kicking things up a notch. Yeah, he was clearly a bad example, but he was also a great best friend. He let you rely on him more than you relied on anyone during the whole span of your life, and you two were often named as partners in crime. Devious, mischievous, and troublesome. You kept Sukuna on his toes, and didn’t leave him up to too much bad, while he, on the other hand, let you experience letting go of expectations and rules.
From the second grade all the way to the ninth, you and Sukuna developed countless inside jokes, party tricks, stories, and so much more.
Sukuna climbed through your window when you weren’t allowed to leave the house, and stayed and talked with you until you were. He looked at you like you hung the moon and stars, he laughed with you like you changed the course of speed and time, and he talked about you to his grandfather like you were the love of his life—and you were! A year was a big difference in knowledge, but, funny enough, neither of you knew how much hanging out with each other would change things.
The fifth grade was when the two of you first held hands.
Sukuna had told you a story about how he supposedly heard a coyote in the middle of the night, and when you called him a chicken for not going outside to check, he forced the both of you to sneak out, late at night, to face the alleged coyotes. You two were both young, and the atmosphere was already eerie enough that, when you heard even the faintest sound of wind snapping and a rocking chair rocking, you subconsciously took Sukuna by the hand and made a dash for it.
(Neither of you speak about that night—and whether that’s out of embarrassment for being scared of a coyote, or embarrassment of holding hands, no one knows.)
The eighth grade was when the two of you had your first date.
And, yes, I know, thirteen year olds are a bit young for that thing, but your and Sukuna’s date wasn’t exactly planned, per se. You were trying to make an excuse in order to get out of watching your mother help one of her patients give birth (which is a very gruesome sight, according to Sukuna), and Sukuna, who was standing beside you whilst you argued with your mother, decided to silently interrupt you and take his leave. But you, perhaps out of spite, grabbed him by the collar, yanked him back in the house, and told your mother that you two were both just leaving, and that watching a birthing process was not part of the schedule.
The two of you awkwardly, and with a significant amount of tension in the air, took each other by the arm and walked to . . . absolutely nowhere. You two walked out of the house sweating, because your mother was watching you like a hawk from the window, and you just followed wherever Sukuna walked, but then, you realized that, Sukuna was just following wherever you were walking. So the two of you walked in circles for approximately half of an hour, before you both decided to take a detour towards a nearby river, and splash around.
(You came home with soaking wet clothes that day, and your mother immediately exclaimed, with the assumption that you and Sukuna were not just swimming, “I knew I should have shown you the horrors of pregnancy,” which left you scarred—for life, possibly, because you never got a chance to explain yourself.)
The eleventh grade was when the two of you kissed for the first time.
The calendar marked the day of Christmas, and the town of Bromwell was as festive as it could get. Your neighbors hung up tinsel and other various drapings on their porches, the smell of gingerbread and candy cane wafted through the air, and the excessive number of candles in the church were all lit up. Service had just ended, and you were walking down the empty streets—everyone and their mother was probably already inside, enjoying the Christmas spirit. But, if you had to be honest, you were beginning to get a bit worried; you hadn’t seen Sukuna all day, and, well, you knew Christmas was always a delicate subject for him, but he usually showed up every once in a while on the sacred holiday.
You remembered the year before this one; you and Sukuna had hung out at your house, while your parents did whatever it was that they did at other friends’ and families’ houses. You insisted, begged, actually, for your parents to let the two of you spend the holiday together. And, as they knew you to be quite the responsible daughter, they complied with your request.
You and Sukuna spent the day decorating gingerbread houses, sipping eggnog, and baking several various treats. Until the evening, where you two spent the rest of your time huddled up together on the sofa, sleepily murmuring stories and giggling to yourselves, before snores began to erupt, and your parents found you and Sukuna cuddled up together in the morning.
All in all, Sukuna didn’t care for the birth of Bromwell’s savior, but he enjoyed the winter season and what it had to bring. Although he never showed up for mass on this day, he still frequented your house, or his own house, where you two spent the evening enveloped in holiday cheer. But, today was different.
Sukuna hadn’t shown up at all: didn’t knock on your window early in the morning to wake you up, didn’t surprise you with baked goods (courtesy of his grandfather’s knack for baking), didn’t even throw snowballs at you when you were most vulnerable (taking out the trash). You felt a sense of loneliness; Bromwell was quiet without him, and, apparently, so was his own house. The Itadori residence was completely empty, save for the Grandfather, so, wherever Sukuna was, it wasn’t anywhere here.
Coming up fruitless after your search, you were about to head home—maybe spend some time with your own family, when, by your surprise, you passed by the church, which was still open, and still lit up. This was . . . a surprise, to say the least; your father usually packed everything up and locked the building when everyone finished heading out, but, maybe, even for just this night, that wasn’t so.
Each step you took upon entering the church echoed. The dimmed candle-lighting, paired with the quiet atmosphere and empty setting, created an eerie feeling, almost opposite of what Christmas embodied. You didn’t like it, hated it, actually; the stillness of the night never failed to give you the heebie-jeebies, and you felt that intensely on this very night.
You shrugged your shoulders, shifted your scarf around your neck, and attempted to tell yourself that your father probably just forgot to turn off the lights, and that you were going to do the honors in his stead before sprinting back home, but you changed your mind as soon as your eyes made their way to the back of the church, and you drank in the appearance of none other than Sukuna himself, as he sat in the very last row of pews.
“Sukuna? What—What are you doing here?” You could feel a smile etch onto your face, as you began to make your way through the church, weaving through rows and rows of pews before you found yourself taking a seat right beside Sukuna. His arm wrapped around the back of the bench, and pulled you closer to him.
“Not excited to see me? What, don’t tell me you’ve turned your back on me, as well.” Sukuna appeared composed and cool, but his body radiated warmth, which you dreadfully lacked. “Most of Bromwell’s figured me out already, started whispering my name right next to Satan’s—calling me a son of a bitch, an atheist, a scoundrel. Is the preacher’s lovely little daughter doing that, too?”
“Hey, don’t joke around like that, especially not on Christmas. Where’s your holiday cheer?” You used your thumb to stretch out the corner of Sukuna’s mouth, revealing his canines as you forced him to muster a lame excuse for a smile. “You are such a Scrooge, you know, always wearing this same exact scowl. Your face is just so mad all the time.”
Sukuna rolled his eyes, dragging your face closer to his. “You don’t like this face? Is that what you’re trying to say?”
“Maybe. Why? Gonna do something about that?” Your eyes peered into his, and his into yours; and you swore he could see through your soul right then and there. Maybe he really was Satan, after all, you joked.
Sukuna laughed, before saying, with a mocking tone, “Maybe. But it depends, you might not like what I’ll do.”
“There really isn’t much worse you could do besides meet me in the back of an empty church.”
“Yeah?”
“Well, it’s not like you would know, anyway. You don’t follow any of the Commandments; you don’t know what’s bad or good for me, at all.”
“Are you implying I don’t know what anything means?”
“Mm, yeah.” You leaned closer to Sukuna, your noses nearly touching.
“That’s kind of harsh coming from the preacher’s daughter,” Sukuna joked; “but, hey, I don’t have to be religious to know what this means.”
Sukuna pulled out a mistletoe from God knows where, and dangled it above your head like a child taunting its opponent. Bits of snow dusted off the branches, landing on the tops of your heads, but neither of you cared much, at least not in the moment; the most Sukuna did was push a strand of loose hair out of your face, but he did nothing more except meet your gaze.
Your heart was pounding, but you had had a few cups of apple cider earlier, and your stomach felt warm while the tip of your nose glowed; you felt as if ready to even take on Mount Everest, so, if you haven’t gotten the picture yet: you weren’t nervous for anything. Well, maybe save for the possibility that your father or literally anyone else could walk in on the two of you.
“I . . . change my mind,” you whispered, speaking languidly as you leaned in ever so slightly; “there is worse we could do besides meet in the back of an empty church after hours.”
“And, that is?”
“We could . . .” Your eyes roamed Sukuna’s face as you spoke, and you admired the occasional freckle you discovered in your way. “We could kiss in the back of an empty church after hours.”
“‘Kiss?’” Sukuna repeated, raising an eyebrow as if to challenge you. “That’s all you’ve got?”
When you woke up this morning, you didn’t expect to end the Christmas day making out with your childhood best friend, Sukuna, in the back of an empty church, but, fate doesn’t wait for just anyone’s opinions, and you couldn’t help yourself when Sukuna looked at you the way he did. You couldn’t help yourself when you tangled your hands in his hair, and met his lips with yours—the sweet taste of eggnog on your tongue following soon after.
Mistakes weren’t made that night, but you went to your monthly Confession the next morning anyway.
You and Sukuna didn’t start dating until . . . well, actually, you two never actually started dating—in a sense, at least. There was never a candle-lit dinner, where it was just the two of you, speaking in low voices over a furnished table in the dark. There was no question such as Will you be my girlfriend? or, even, Will you be my boyfriend? but, that was okay. It was clear enough how you two felt about each other, and, even if it wasn’t, the amount of kisses Sukuna gave you whether you two were alone or surrounded, and the amount of nights you two spent laying on stacks of hay in his grandfather’s barn, whispering sweet-nothings to each other, ought to have said enough about your relationship.
Sukuna didn’t have a way with words, and you were always too embarrassed to bring up the fact your relationship wasn’t official, like, at all. But, most of your neighbors knew that their preacher’s daughter was dating the county’s atheist by the time you got into the twelfth grade, and that there was nothing they could do about that except for subtly look down upon you both, and convince themselves your relationship wasn’t serious enough to make it to marriage.
Your father never spoke ill about Sukuna; and, as far as you knew, he always saw the pink-haired delinquent (an affectionate nickname) as a bright boy: a respectful young man, who looked at his daughter like a goddess incarnate, despite whatever religion he partook in. As for how your mother felt about your boyfriend: she thought that as long as she wasn’t going to have to deliver your baby any time soon, she couldn’t have cared less.
But, it’s not like you actually cared about how anyone felt about Sukuna. What mattered most was how you felt about him—I mean, he was your boyfriend, after all. And, how you felt about Sukuna was . . . beyond definable. He was Sukuna, you were you, and that’s all you knew. Well, that’s all you knew in this moment, as you sat under the light of the moon—cascading through windows of Sukuna’s barn—as the two of you huddled up together, sharing kisses and purposely interrupting each other as you spoke with a volume just above a whisper.
The horses were asleep, (you and Sukuna had gone riding earlier in the day), but you were neither tired nor cold, even in this winter weather. You often found yourself feeling warm, your heart racing in your chest, whenever you were with Sukuna, and the heat which always rose to your cheeks did a good job at showing it.
“You make me hate myself,” Sukuna whispered, leaning his back against the sleeping friesian behind him, while his arm slithered around your waist, subtly pulling you closer to him every once in a while.
You laughed, wondering if he was just sleep-talking at this point. His voice was rough, and cold, but his skin was warm, and he didn’t wait for an answer from you before continuing.
“Do you know how stupid you make me feel? God, it’s like. . . You’re like an angel that has descended upon this wretched earth, and guess what, I’m the fool who’s fallen in love with you. This whole town’s praying for my downfall, you know that, angel?—for Satan to finally drag my ass back down to the depths of Hell, but. . .”
“Would you go?”
“. . .Where?”
“Would you go with him?”
“No.” Sukuna shook his head, laughing like a drunkard. “No, not even God could pull me away from you.”
“Why?”
“I wouldn’t let Him.”
“How do you know you’ll succeed?”
“Because I don’t believe in anything besides the fact that you are the closest I’ll ever get to Heaven. You are an angel that has been bestowed upon my black heart, you are every dark thought—every demonic idea—that has ever plagued my mind. You may taste like paradise, but even God knows you are a religion for only the lowest lovesick fools to have ever roamed this godforsaken planet.”
You turned around in Sukuna’s hold, looping your arms around his neck, and pulling him closer to you. “Would that make you religious, then? A devout follower?”
“For you? Always.”
That conversation was a fortnight ago. You’ve officially entered your twenties now, and everyone knows a new decade means a new chapter, especially for first-time lovers like you. It doesn’t feel any different, though; you’re older, but nothing’s changed. At least, you didn’t think so. Turning twenty meant you had been dating Sukuna for three years, and, well, in Bromwell, there was only one thing to be expected. Marriage; a topic that’s being brought up more frequently at your dinner table, whether you liked it or not.
You were an adult now. You’ve been an adult, actually, but eighteen and nineteen year olds were never as relevant as twenty year olds.
In full honesty, and full confidence, you didn’t care much for seeing yourself in a white gown and white veil. Being married is a title, it’s an expectation, it’s a milestone. It’s not . . . it’s not kismet. Being married meant you had a ring on your finger. But, when you compared it to simply being boyfriend-girlfriend, you didn’t see much of a difference. Now, you don’t mean to be ‘woke’ or prejudiced, you just didn’t feel much significance in the holy sacrament of matrimony.
Not that you would ever say that aloud, though. . . Especially when you’re eating dinner with your very old fashioned parents who have very old fashioned ideals.
“How is—How is Sukuna, by the way?” began your father, as he cut into a smoked pork shoulder.
“He’s how he’s always been, sir.” You offered a small smile, placing your cutlery back down. “Why the sudden interest?”
“I am simply a curious man,” he laughed. “But, I must say, I feel quite sympathetic towards him.”
“. . .May I remind you that his mother died years ago, father—”
“My child, I am not talking about that.” His tone cut cold, and deep, like an icicle, and you suddenly noticed the strangeness of the air which surrounded the dinner table; this was no simple conversation.
Your eyes wandered your father’s face from across the table for any hint to what on earth he was going on about, but he evaded all eye contact. Your mother, on the other hand, remained silent, excluded from the conversation whether it was by her own will or not; she sat beside your father like a statue—beautiful, but with no exact purpose.
“Pardon?”
Your father cleared his throat. “Sukuna does know what is to come, correct?”
“Father, even I do not know what you are talking about; never mind him.”
“You are my only daughter, you hear? You are my eldest child, my only child. I founded the one, single church of Bromwell, and you take after me. How will this county react when they hear you are to be wed off to an atheist?”
“I—I don’t understand.”
“You are twenty years old. You are going to be married. Tomorrow, next week, next year. It will happen. My point isn’t that I’m going to rush you, that is hardly my job.”
You blinked. “Then, . . what is your job?”
Your father laughed. “You do not mean you are going to marry Sukuna, are you?”
“How is that relevant?”
“I let you talk with Sukuna, I let you hang around that fellow, I let you eat with that man in my own house. Several times, actually. But, regardless, that was all when you were young. I remember my first relationships, you know; they weren’t as serious as I would’ve liked to hope. But, you do know . . . I am not letting you anywhere near that man if he has a ring in his pocket.”
“Father, blessings from the in-laws before asking a woman’s hand in marriage are hardly relevant nowadays.”
“You think this is a joke?”
“I’m . . . sorry?”
“I always assumed you were in love with him because you were young, and everything was so new to you. But, don’t tell me you intend to stay with him for longer than you need to. Sukuna Ryomen Itadori is . . . an atheist. He’s turned his back on our religion. He’s abandoned our god. His eyes skip over our scripture.”
“. . .Why is that, sir? Why does he keep quiet when others are in prayer? Why does he close his eyes when we, instead, look above to the heavens? Because he has no reason to, don’t you see? Would you consider him a sinner even if he had never, once in his life, ever heard God’s name? You wouldn’t, because you would proclaim the Word of the Lord to him, anyway.”
“You have no idea what you are talking about.”
“Do I, now?” you asked. “I may believe in what I call my God, and Sukuna may believe in what he knows to be his truth. We all come from different walks of life, father; and you can’t change that. There is nothing wrong with what Sukuna’s chosen for himself, and your fragility and selfishness won’t ever change that. I can marry whomever I please. I can give my hand to anyone who I deem worthy of it. You are my father; you gave me life, but you do not choose my outcomes.”
“I do not choose your outcomes, you say? Well, you make me laugh quite a bit, don’t you, because I already have.”
“. . .You have?”
“That’s what I just said. I’ve chosen your outcome, your future, your fate. He has a name, too, would you like to hear it?”
You stood up from the table so quickly your chair nearly fell over, scraping against the floor with a rather harsh sound. “I am not marrying someone I hardly know.”
“Even if it is God’s will?” your father asked, mocking you. “You are young, you’ll understand sooner or later.”
“Who do you take me for? I am entirely confident when I say I could never love a man I’ve neither seen nor heard.”
“My child, you ought to learn before you speak; joining in matrimony is not always done out of love.”
Your eyes flickered to your mother, who was as still as she was before, and you almost dropped down on your knees to beg forgiveness for any wrong you had ever done towards her. But you didn’t, you didn’t kneel, didn’t fall. Instead, you took a step towards the door.
“You are a child of God. And may I remind you, that no daughter of mine shall marry a nonbeliever. You walk out of that door right now, and you best believe you can call yourself an estranged child.”
When you moved to take another step, you turned around just in time to miss staying in line of aim of the empty beer bottle your father threw. It crashed behind you—shattering, falling to the floor—and left just the tiniest dent on the wall it hit. So tiny, in fact, that you wouldn’t have noticed it had it not been of impact in the very spot your head just was, milliseconds before.
You did not wait another moment to leave that house, and ran out as fast as you could, while your father, enraged, sat and mulled in his anger.
As you crushed leaves and twigs beneath your feet in your distress and hurry, you muttered prayers to God like a madman, wiped your tears with your sleeves every few seconds, and asked for your mother’s forgiveness as if you had just disgraced her lineage. But, you didn’t; instead, you ended a line of sorrow, misery, humiliation; you left because you wanted something anew, you wanted. . . You wanted Sukuna.
You don’t know how long you ran for, or in what direction you ran, even, but your legs ached, and you soon found yourself at a river bank, in the middle of nowhere—you couldn’t spot any houses or signs of life for leagues. The water was muddy, dirty, brown, and you could hardly see your reflection in it; still, you could just barely make out your disheveled state: your messy hair, tear-stained cheeks, trembling lips. You looked like a mess, and you were one. Metaphorically and literally. You looked nothing like a preacher’s daughter, but, it didn’t matter, you weren’t a preacher’s daughter anymore; you weren’t anyone’s daughter, in fact . . . only God’s.
When Sukuna told you about his family, about the death in his family, you questioned God and His ways. But you eventually went back to how you were before—a devout follower. Now that you’re older, you understand the picture more clearly. It’s not God you question and doubt, it’s His people. Men choose gods so that they have someone to blame, to use as reasoning, to make themselves feel less alone in this vast universe. It’s been done for years. Religion is man-made; immortal beings do not bleed; and belief is truly, utterly voluntary. You could believe in God, while hating His people, and the scripture would all be the same.
Nevertheless, you hated it. All of it. Why was your father like this? Why was everyone like this? Why did no one understand? What was so hard to comprehend?
You did not hesitate when you ripped off one of the several necklaces you wore around your neck, dropping it into the river bed, and watching as it traveled elsewhere. Anywhere—but here, you prayed, as you sat down on the dead grass to do nothing but sob.
You were wrong. So wrong. Your father didn’t want anything to do with Sukuna; what’s worse, he took you as the person to date someone for fun. Your father assumed you were mindlessly dating Sukuna. Was that all he thought of you? Did he even consider you his daughter?—His daughter, who he forbade from dating outside of religion?
All your life, you had been nothing but who you were supposed to be. Charitable, smart, generous, charming. Now, you couldn’t even recognize yourself anymore.
Maybe you were hallucinating, too, because hours had passed since you ran out of your house, and now, as you sat on the river bank and stared at your reflection, you could make out another faint reflection besides yours. A figure, walking from a distance. Then, a face. A reflection of a man. A reflection of . . . Sukuna.
He looked like he had been walking all around town for you, and there was sweat on his forehead to show for that. Sukuna called your name as he approached, seemingly unbeknownst of the fact you were practically bawling your eyes out, and began to ask you something stupid, but then he stopped as soon as he was close enough to sit down beside you, switched the subject, and asked, with earnest, “Your necklace. Your necklace, where is it?”
“I’m . . . wearing a necklace right now, Sukuna.” You wiped the remaining tears flowing from your eyes on your sleeves, which blew and billowed in the wind. Thankfully, you were always skilled at masking emotion, and Sukuna didn’t seem to have noticed your weeping prior to his arrival.
Sukuna looked at the pearls you had strung around your neck with not so much as even a full glance. “No, not that one. Where’s your . . . where’s the other one?” Sukuna turned his head in all four directions, and looked as if he were searching for something rather important.
“What other one?”
Sukuna licked his lips, using searching as an excuse for avoiding your eyes. “The . . . cross. Or, if it is called the crucifix instead, I am not sure.”
Your mouth opened, lips parted ever so slightly, but you couldn’t breathe. “. . .No; no, you’re right. It’s a cross. A crucifix has the image of Jesus on it.”
Sukuna looked at you now that your eyes were casted downward, and scanned your face with wonder. You were so angelic even when you were miles from home, shivering in the cold, crying your eyes out (yes, Sukuna could tell you were crying earlier; he was an attentive man, after all). Sukuna never felt confident enough to do half of the things he wanted to do whenever you were looking at him. Your eyes scared him, deeply—reminded him of too many people he would rather leave in the dust.
And, if that wasn’t enough, Sukuna didn’t have a way with words, and most definitely did not know how to comfort anyone (especially when he had no context). But, at least, he didn’t care much for any of that “What happened?” bullshit. What happened was your business, not his, but how you felt, on the other hand, . . was a different story.
Anyway, Sukuna didn’t say anything until he was sure you were okay; it was a whisper—of the words: “I love you.”
It was quiet, so subtle; you wondered if Sukuna even meant for you to hear it, but, nevertheless, you met his eyes with glassy ones—red, dimmed, distant—and asked, with the little strength you had left, “Why are you telling me that?”
“Just in case . . . you hadn’t heard those words in a long time.”
Your lips trembled, and you could feel the waterworks beginning again as you moved to sit on Sukuna’s lap, burying your face into his neck as his arms enveloped you at the drop of a hat with warmth, stability, and, you couldn’t quite put your finger on the last one, which was . . . peace. Come to think of it, you had never felt peace in such a long time. But it wasn’t the usual tranquility you felt, it wasn’t any of that, at all. It was just, simply, Sukuna. You were feeling Sukuna.
Which was, actually, quite ironic, if you did say yourself. All these years spent together, Sukuna always called you his angel, his blessing, his God-given miracle. He said you changed him for the better, you turned his life around, showed him a brightness and happiness he had never seen once in his whole life. But, maybe it was really the opposite. Maybe Sukuna was the one who saved you. The only man who could ever truly understand you: Sukuna—your first, and your last love.
“You make me feel so stupid,” you murmured, between sniffles, once you began to run out of tears.
“With my high intellect?” Sukuna joked. “Yeah, don’t worry, lots of people feel the same way.”
You sat upright, giving a playful shove at Sukuna’s chest. “You are such a bastard.”
“Not the worst thing I’ve been called.”
You laughed, because you struggled to do anything else. “I can’t believe you’ve seen me cry now. This is incredible blackmail,” you grumbled.
“. . .I know.”
“Let’s just . . . forget this ever happened, okay? I’m fine now. I—I’m okay. You’re here, and . . . you’re here.”
“I know.”
“Are you going to say anything else?” you began, mindlessly playing with the fabric of Sukuna’s collar. “You’ve been saying the same thing over and over again like some giant oaf.”
“I know.”
“Hey! You . . . Sukuna!”
Sukuna threw his head back, laughing like a child, and you tackled him to the ground (with little to no malicious intent), which ended up with you straddling his hips.
“I’m . . .” You hesitated, brushing stray hairs out of Sukuna’s eyes. “I’m sorry you had to see that—all of that, actually.”
“You’re sorry?”
“. . .”
Sukuna rolled his eyes, and sat upright, pulling you closer to him in the process. “You don’t ever need to tell me why you were crying for me to know you were clearly the victim in whatever the hell ever happens, you know. I’ve . . . been with you long enough to know that. The people of Bromwell suck, and your father’s a piece of shit; the reason you had to wait so long for me the first time we met, was because I was stuck in Confession with him, by the way. Such a nosy little—”
“Okay, okay, that’s . . . I get it.” As much as you appreciated the sentiment, you weren’t one to be ‘fond’ of hearing your father be slandered, or anyone, for that matter. “Thank you, really. I . . . don’t know what I would do without you.”
“Yeah? Well, you’re with me right now, angel. What are you gonna do with that? What are you going to do with me?”
You grinned. “I don’t know off the top of my head.”
Sukuna looked at you with longing, his eyes piercing through your soul—watching your every move—as you placed one hand at the side of his neck, and one on his cheek, drawing both of your faces closer and closer, till you couldn’t differentiate where his breath ended and where yours started.
“Any suggestions?” you asked, smiling.
“Many.”
Without missing a beat, Sukuna closed the space between the both of you, placing a soft kiss against your lips and pulling back, as if to test the waters, before knocking the wind out of your throat and smashing his lips back against yours. The two of you moved in sync, your bodies molding against each other as if two pieces of a puzzle, and, at that very moment, you abandoned any sense of control, chastity, and purity. Sukuna overtook all of your senses and virtues; but, honestly, you wouldn’t have had it any other way.
Sukuna’s hands moved to your hips, kneading the flesh there and keeping a grip so tight you were sure it would end up purple and blue the next morning.
“Does this suggestion suit your royal highness?” Sukuna teased, between kisses.
“Mm, it will do . . . for now, I suppose.”
With Sukuna, you had never gone past kissing. Never ventured, never planned, but . . . you couldn’t say you never thought about making it to third base. And, with the way Sukuna’s hands wandered and subtly slipped just under your skirt, you could guess he thought something relatively similar.
Sukuna’s hands roamed your thighs from beneath your skirt, his fingers lighting a path of electricity, which shocked you in their way; and you found your breath getting caught in your throat. He touched you as if he were a madman, feeling Heaven for the last and first time—like you could disappear at any given moment, and he was savoring every second spent with you.
“You’re . . . impatient, today.”
Sukuna laughed. “Scared? Don’t worry, I always dip my hands in Holy Water before I even think about touching you.”
You placed a kiss on the side of Sukuna’s mouth, rolling your eyes. “Oh, shut up, you make it sound as if you’re . . . worshipping me or something.”
“I am.”
“You . . . what?”
Sukuna looked up at you with half-lidded eyes, whilst his hands never paused for a second while trailing up your legs, near your core, up your spine, and back down to where they originally started. His touch was soft, gentle, as if cautious of destroying you, erasing any trace of the angel God had given him. His fingers—usually rough, and cold—were instead warm, and lit a fire somewhere inside of you.
From your position above Sukuna, you sucked in a breath. You had to give it to him; for a man so frequently called Satan incarnate, his eyes were so temptingly full of yearning. But his voice was mocking, full of tease and banter, and you could no longer decide if this was truly your reality.
“Your throat is so raw from praying to a God who does not listen.”
“Is this your attempt at seducing me to apostasy?”
Sukuna’s eyes narrowed. “Let me be the one to hear your prayers, instead. Your wants, your needs, your desires; allow me, my darling angel, to satiate you better than any man or deity can.”
You did not know what had become of you, when you pulled Sukuna by the collar, and met his lips with yours. A wave of bliss overwhelmed you, and your head soon became full of nothing but the name of the man whose tongue explored every interstice and crevice of your mouth, your neck, your clavicle. His hands roamed your skin, his mouth crashed against yours, and your arms looped around his neck, pulling him closer than you thought possible.
Your hips rocked forwards and backwards, as the sound of moans and mewls made their way past your lips. You had never entertained the idea of giving yourself to anyone prior to marriage, but maybe—maybe you could make an exception for someone like Sukuna.
There was no banter, no talk, no mumbling or murmuring for any longer. Only frantic, desperate movements as Sukuna clumsily unbuckled his belt, and shoved your panties to the side; for, neither of you could wait a second more. With your mouths still pressed against one another’s, Sukuna’s fingers made their way to the wetness between your legs, and slipped past your entrance, curling and twisting, applying pressure to where you needed him most.
It was so unbearable. And so, utterly, hot. Since when was the evening ever this hot? You two were in the middle of nowhere, outside past ten o’clock; the sky was painted a dark shade of indigo, crickets and birds sounded in their domain, and you and Sukuna? You two were whispering to each other, running your hands over each other’s bodies; you writhed and wriggled as Sukuna’s fingers never paused in their assault, and you couldn’t help the pornographic cries which left your throat.
It was unbearable.
You had never felt pleasure so intense like this. Your head spun, you clawed at Sukuna’s back, your body arched, and you whimpered and moaned like your life depended on it. You could not draw a line between pleasure and pain, and, you wondered . . . was this what sinning felt like? So good, but, at the same time, so bad?
You didn’t come undone on Sukuna’s fingers until what seemed like hours had passed by—hours of him toying with your clit: drawing you to the edge and back over again, never once allowing your release, entering depths deep within with just his fingers alone. It drove you to madness, and when you finally came, you came hard. Heavy breathing, panting, whimpering. You were a mess—an angel caught in the grasps of a devil.
“Regretful?” Sukuna teased, petting your hair as you rested your figure against his shoulder.
Breathless, you replied, saying, “Should I be?”
“I haven’t decided yet.”
Sukuna didn’t let you go until the sun came up. And, even then, he wasn’t truly satisfied; but you were exhausted by then, your legs barely held you up, and you had probably also forgotten your own name, so Sukuna took pity on you. The two of you had gone at it like rabbits; Sukuna showed you what it really meant to be locked out of Heaven for years, and how it felt to experience it for the first time since.
What’s funny, was that you and Sukuna had the same amount of experience, and yet, you felt as if Sukuna touched you like you weren’t even close to being his first. He trailed searing hot kisses down your shoulder blades, groped at your chest and ass with carnal desire, and after easing you with his fingers, fucked you with his cock like he had every intention to get you with child.
Your throat was raw, dry, scratchy, from all the sounds that Sukuna elicited from you. His thrusts were hard, and reached so deep within you, that you could’ve been convinced he was hitting your womb.
With your back flush against his chest, Sukuna wrapped a hand around your throat while you leaned your head back against his shoulder as Sukuna fucked his cock into you. He was merciless; thick and long. And you couldn’t count how many times your eyes rolled back into your head even if you tried. You were overwhelmed by how utterly full you felt, combined with Sukuna’s breath fanning your ear every once in a while, as he leaned down to whisper filthy language in your ear.
It was nothing like you had ever felt before, but it was everything you ever dreamed of. It was dirty—what the two of you were doing. But it felt so, so good.
God may have made you in His image: to look, to sound, to taste like Heaven—so others may be tempted to seek paradise, as well, but as He looks down upon his creation, under the dark sky, hidden beneath the clouds, He knows you are nothing but sin. And, if that wasn’t enough, so did Sukuna.
***
Sukuna was no more afraid of shotguns than he was of God.
You learned that the week you decided to come home after living with Sukuna for some time away from your father. You were moved by the deeply troubling feeling of missing the sound of your mother’s voice, and you had almost even forgotten the feeling of her hands touching your hair. A mother’s love was . . . you couldn’t quite define it, but you knew: to have none, was to be none.
When you knocked on the door of your home, you did not regret, for even a second, the declined opportunity of bringing Sukuna along with you. You told him you would be alright going by yourself, and if you weren’t, how were you to face God on the day of judgement?—You started alone, you could end alone. On the third knock, the birch door opened, and you did not see your mother’s face; in lieu, you saw his face.
He was not happy to see you.
Without a moment’s waste, and with your fist still raised mid-air to give another knock, you were taken by the arm, and into the house.
“Do you not listen?”
“. . .Do you speak of my returning? Father, I am your daughter, and no matter how much you resent me, I will still be made of half your DNA.”
“I believe I made myself crystal clear when I told you no daughter of mine will dally with an atheist.”
“But—”
Your father’s grip tightened around your wrist. “You are twenty years of age. Twenty! And this is what you do?”
“Come again?”
“You think I have no idea what you have been up to? I am your father, young lady. I would be a damn fool if I did not know that my own daughter was living with Sukuna Ryomen. Under his roof, eating his food, sleeping in his bed?”
“I had no choice—”
“No choice? Marrying a much better man is definitely still a choice you can make.”
Your father dragged you to the entrance of your bedroom; his strength outmatched yours, even as you tugged your wrist back, and grounded the balls of your feet to keep from moving.
“Father, what are you—! You’re hurting me . . . stop! Don’t—”
“I expected so much from you, and you have done nothing but disappoint me.” Your father finally let go of your wrist, releasing you once you entered your room with a thud as you hit the floor, after losing balance. “You gave yourself to that devil, and now, not even God can look you in the eye anymore.”
The door was slammed shut, locks you did not remember installing were put into place, and you were alone. Inside your bedroom, with nothing but yourself and your prayers. The window had been boarded up prior to your return, which gave you the impression your father had been waiting and planning in order to lock you up, or, in other words, keep you from sinning any more.
You did not hear from anyone for days, and neither your father nor your mother brought any rations or bits of food. It was so, so cold in there. Barely any light seeped through the wood boards nailed on your window, and you couldn’t even hear the singing of the birds. It was as if . . . everyone had, simply, left you.
You slept most of the time, because you had no source of entertainment. You rested your head against the wall while sitting on the floor, and tried to pray for any change of mind from your father, (because God knows where your mother was during this whole ordeal), but it only made you feel more ashamed of yourself—seeing as you did not have a rosary in your hands, or a crucifix, or a cross. You had thrown yours into the river, remember?
Maybe God frowned upon you for losing your virginity with such haste, and before joining in matrimony, no less, but, surely, you did not deserve this punishment, right? Staying with a man who did not believe in your God . . . didn’t harm anyone. Your father had no right to persecute for something such as this; this should’ve been left up to the will of God for any judgement.
In truth, you did not know how you managed to survive so long in such isolation. You slept, but you did not dream. And you could not eat, for you had no food. No sunlight, no water, no air. You felt as if you were suffocating, as if the walls of your bedroom were closing in on you day by day. But, maybe that was just a trick of your eyes—decievement; produced by having not been outside for so long.
On the third day, you heard it.
The sound of a shotgun. The cries of birds as they scattered through the air. The screams of distressed neighbors and residents of Bromwell as they gathered together.
It was dark outside; you could tell, for no sunlight seeped through cracks of the boards and panels on your window. You were sitting just beneath the sill, and when you heard the crisp, almost deafening, sound of a shotgun being fired, you scrambled from your spot on the ground, and cursed to yourself when you realized you could see nothing outside but darkness.
The gun was fired near the front of your house, and you almost wondered who the shooter was, but when you figured this could soon be your end, you thought nothing could be worse than being locked up in your own bedroom for a false truth.
Was it your father?—Who fired? Or was he who was fired at? you wondered.
You did not wonder for long, however, because only a second later, your door was kicked open, and lo and behold: Sukuna. Holding a shotgun over his shoulder, panting—as if he had just run a lap, or several—and beckoning for you to follow him. He took you by the hand and hurriedly led you out of your bedroom and out of your godforsaken house using the back entrance. You asked a plethora of questions as you went, but Sukuna didn’t answer any of them until you two were crouched behind and under a large tree a few miles away from your house.
Sukuna told you to be quiet, to steady your breathing, and to remain out of sight; but that just freaked you out more.
“Are you going to tell me what on earth is going on here? How did you even know where I was? And what—what is the shotgun for?”
Sukuna let out a dry laugh. “You haven’t changed at all; still ask a shit ton of questions, huh.”
“Explain, or I’ll strangle you.” You repeated yourself.
“The preacher’s daughter is so kinky, who knew?” Sukuna teased. “But, alright, I’ll bite.
“I realized something was the matter when you didn’t return home that night you left. I was hoping you just really missed your mother, so I gave it the benefit of the doubt. But, now, I kind of regret that.
“Days passed, but I didn’t bother walking up to the door and asking your father where the hell you were, because I knew he would just give me some bullshit to keep me away, so I instead went over to the side of your house, like, you know, how I always do when I sneak in through your window and whatnot?
“When I went to the side of the house, your window was boarded up. And that’s when I knew something was clearly wrong. Obviously couldn’t ask you about it, and also didn’t want to get within three feet of your father, so I took matters into my own hands—”
You cut Sukuna off, asking, “What about the shotgun?”
“I fired it—at the sky. (No one was hurt, if you’re wondering, but I wish someone was.) Anyway: figured it was dark enough for no one to notice me in the act, so I fired it, and then my plan was in action. All your nosy neighbors went to the front of your house to see what was going on, and so did your father. He went outside, too. I took that as an opportunity to run to the back of your house before anyone could spot me, and break in through the backdoor, and then, y’know. We’re here now.”
“You broke into my house to rescue me? Chivalry may not be dead, after all.” You laughed.
Sukuna rolled his eyes; this clearly was not a joking matter. “Your turn. Explain. Why were you locked in your bedroom like Rapunzel or some shit? And why were the windows boarded up?”
You scooted over to sit closer to Sukuna, and sucked in a breath before explaining—explaining everything. Your father and his deranged behavior and actions, your isolation, your lack of food and drink, your loneliness, your longing for your mother and . . . and Sukuna. You whispered that last bit, in hopes that Sukuna wouldn’t hear how ‘pathetic’ you were, but he did, and he didn’t even joke or tease you about it. He . . . missed you, too.
“You know, if there really is a god out there, He’ll have to beg for my forgiveness before I even think of thanking him, but . . . fuck.” Sukuna avoided your eyes. “Do you know how desperate I was?—That I went and prayed to a god I don’t even believe in?”
“What do you mean? Why did you—?”
“I hadn’t seen you in three days. Three days too long. Why would I not worry? Why would I not resolve to begging God?”
“You were worried?” You giggled. “Awh, Sukuna, baby, you’re adorable.” You cupped Sukuna’s face in your hands, and watched as that familiar scowl of his appeared. You missed that grumpy face.
“. . .I don’t know why you missed me those three days, angel. Thought you were smarter than that.”
You frowned. “What do you mean? How could I not—?”
“How could you not? No. How could you? How could you love a man like me? I’m. . .” Sukuna turned away from you, your hands dropped from his face. “I’m nothing like you. You shouldn’t. . . I’m not a good influence on someone as pure-hearted as you. Hell, you make me wonder if the heavens above are really real, or, if Paradise is just . . . just you.”
“Sukuna, what are you going on about? We’ve been together for ages: as classmates, as friends, as a couple, as—as. . .” You paused. “Why are you—?”
“Do you not get it? These hands—these hands that cradle your face and tilt it upwards to lay kisses upon your skin are—”
You forced Sukuna to look at you. “But they cradled me, yes?”
Sukuna did not answer you, instead: he narrowed his eyes. “They are soaked in unfathomable amounts of wrongdoing, push away the Word of your God, and avoid nearing the Body of your savior.”
“But you have not killed, you have not murdered, you have not stolen, you have not. . . I do not see any blood stains visible.”
“You cannot see sin.”
You blinked, furrowing your brows. “The dog that weeps after it kills is no better than the dog that doesn’t. Guilt will not purify anyone.”
“. . .Who is it you speak for?” Sukuna asked, his voice just above a whisper.
“Who is it I do not?”
Sukuna looked at you with intent, then he looked behind you—at your house, and then met your eyes once more, before tangling his hands in your hair and bringing you to meet him in a kiss full of yearning, longing, and want. You two had not embraced, not even touched in days. It went without saying that your body ached for Sukuna, your heart beat for Sukuna, and your soul rejoiced for Sukuna.
Sukuna was a bastard. A cold-blooded bastard. He was not kind, he was not generous, he was not truthful. He did not care for the Bible, did not read the Gospel, and couldn’t give a shit about the Holy Trinity. But, he loved you. Loved you like a dog who had never known anyone else. Loved you like he would die for you, lay his head at your feet for you, and bend his knees before you. Loved you like he would be a martyr for you. Loved you like you were his beacon of light, his goddess, his . . . Saving Grace.
He did not believe in the Lord, he did not believe in the invisible, but he believed in the way you ripped out his heart, kissed it in his name, and dyed your lips red with his blood. A kiss may be the beginning of cannibalism, but Sukuna knew it was you who was for him since the beginning of Time.
When you two pulled back to catch your breaths, Sukuna held you close to him as he leaned back against the trunk of a tree, and whispered in your ear—his voice languid, and gradual, “I do not believe in any god or any goddess. I do not care for any mythical creature or any other of that sort. The only faith I have is in us. The only force I believe in is you and me. And that’s what all my prayers will ever be about.”
Sukuna was a bastard, but you couldn’t have wanted anyone more.
#feedback is much appreciated<3#sukuna x reader#ryomen x reader#jjk x reader#jjk x you#sukuna x you#sukuna fluff#sukuna angst#sukuna smut
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I am practicing. Can't let gang know I don't know what I'm doing
#digital art#art#fanart#character art#digital drawing#digital illustration#procreate#lego monkie kid#lmk fanart#journey to the west#lmk comic#lmk#lmk sun wukong#lmk macaque#sun wukong#great sage equal to heaven#monkey king#lmk six eared macaque#the six eared macaque#six eared macaque#shadowpeach#web comic#doodle#mutual pining immortal old man yaoi#feedback appreciated#liu er mihou
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I colored it! 🥹🥳 I'm learning color! 😭🥳
#stolitz#blitzø#stolas#helluva boss fanart#my art#Actually would have looked nice fully rendered#But I wasn't digging the approach so I'm honestly happy with what it is#Color and light are so rewarding but also make me feel like a pea brain#feedback appreciated#hellaverse
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i don’t care if these bitches don’t like me
LANDO NORRIS — Nov 13, 1999 —
[Insp.]
#f1#formula 1#mclaren#lando norris#f1edit#f1 edit#f1 fancam#fancam#vidvid#HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY OG BABYKINZ#who is now just the love of my life#this kid has kept me going through this year of awfulness and i cannot be more grateful#also this took me FOREVER there are 1000000 clips in this pls appreciate#THANKS TO NADIA AND BIRB FOR THE FEEDBACK#cant believe i did this godbless
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I Want To Ruin Our Friendship (We Should Be Lovers Instead) (Sophia Smith x Reader)
You weren't big on social media, you never got in on the TikTok craze, but when your best friend, and long time crush Sophia Smith asked you to make a TikTok, you couldn't say no.
You were never big on social media, in all honesty, you didn’t see the appeal, especially when it came to TikTok.
Anytime you saw your teammates recording a TikTok, you’d roll your eyes, but go along with whatever they were doing when the camera was turned your way, half-heartedly of course.
They were big on TikTok trends, and often recorded them at camp or at friendlies.
Somehow, you weren’t entirely sure how, you’d been roped into one of these said trend, but here you were sitting side by side with your best friend, Sophia Smith, the woman noticeably fidgeting.
“Hey.” You say softly, the girl’s breath hitching when you place your hand on top of hers.
“You alright?” You ask, your brows furrowed.
Her throat bobs, her brown orbs darting to your lips before again meeting your eyes.
“Y-Yeah.” She stutters and you hum, giving her hand a squeeze before letting go, missing the light twitch at the corner of her mouth.
You were well aware that something was bothering her, you knew her too well to NOT know something was wrong.
She was your best friend and had been since you’d become roommates in college.
You knew Sophia Smith better than anyone, and she knew you better than anyone.
She was the first person you’d come out to in college, and unsurprisingly, she was incredibly supportive.
However, there was one thing she didn’t know, and that was that you were deeply in love with her and had been since college.
You inhale deeply, pulling yourself out of your thoughts before clearing your throat.
“So, what exactly are we doing here?” You ask, wondering what TikTok trend you were actually doing.
Sophia clears her throat.
“J-Just listen to this song.” She says softly before, pressing play on your phone, music filling the air
Your brows arch when Sophia starts humming, her cheeks dusted pink.
You wouldn’t admit it but you liked hearing her sing, something she did almost every morning in college when she was making coffee before class.
You’d act like her early morning peppiness was annoying, but in reality, you loved waking up to the sound of her voice.
“I think I’ve heard this song.” You say, vaguely remembering hearing it come from your best friend's phone one night.
“Y-Yeah?” She stammers tugging at the hem of her t-shirt and you nod.
It’s then that the lyrics start, the woman beside you singing quietly.
“Y/N, darling, you’re my best friend.” She sings and your cheeks flush.
“But there’s a few things, that you don’t know of.”
You quirk your eyebrows, noting that Sophia glanced away, her cheeks flushed.
“Why I borrow your lipstick so often.”
You stop yourself from playfully teasing the woman that you in fact didn’t wear makeup, but you didn’t want to interrupt her.
“I’m using your shirt as a pillowcase.” She puts her hands together and leans against them, feigning sleep.
The look on her face changes as she cups your cheeks, your breath catching in your throat.
“Soph?” You say, her throat bobbing as she sings the next set of lyrics.
“I want to ruin our friendship.” She whispers as she leans in, your heart pounding wildly.
“We should be lovers instead.” She sings before closing the distance between you.
You kiss back with no sense of hesitation, wrapping your arms around her middle as you pull her close, your lips never disconnecting.
Her arms wrap around your neck as you kiss softly.
Your lips disconnect momentarily as she crawls into your lap, her legs wrapping around your middle before your lips meet again and again, each kiss sweeter than the last.
“I’ve been wanting to do this for so long.” Sophia whispers against your lips and you smile.
“Me too.”
The TikTok you were making is entirely forgotten as your lips reconnect, the two of you smiling against one another's lips.
You pull back, chuckling when the woman in your lap whines loudly.
“How long have you been wanting to kiss me?” You ask, playfully bumping your nose against hers and she blushes as she turns away.
“A while...” She mumbles and you smile, taking her chin between your thumb and index finger and turning her back towards you, your Y/E/C orbs meeting her dark browns.
Her cheeks darken and you smile softly, your eyes holding a softness that makes her eyes go glassy and her heart skip a beat.
“When you walked into our dorm room, tripped on the carpet and fell on the floor.” She giggles and you throw your head back with an annoyed groan.
“I was so embarrassed.” You mumble and she smiles, ducking down to press a gentle kiss to your lips.
"It was adorable.” She teases and you snort.
“Sureeeee it was.” You stick your tongue out and she hums.
“What about you?” She asks, your brows furrowing in question your head cocking to the side.
Sophia giggles, cupping your cheek.
“How long have you been wanting to kiss me?” She asks and you ponder thoughtfully, already knowing the answer as you cover her hand with your own.
“When I got up off the floor and you did everything you could not to laugh when you introduced yourself.” You grin and she giggles, stroking your jawline.
“I was trying SO hard.” She says, giggling even harder and you roll your eyes.
“Oh, I know. I heard you laughing when I left to get my stuff.” You say and she snorts, burying her face in your neck as she giggles.
“Oh my god, I’m sorry.” She laughs and you scoff.
“Yeah, you SOUND really sorry.” You say as you squeeze her sides, the woman squeaking loudly.
You grin maliciously, the woman attempting to scramble out of your lap, but she’s too late considering you’d rolled the two of you over and now had her pinned beneath you, your fingers digging into her sides.
She bats at your hands as you playfully tickle her sides, only stopping when the woman’s chest is heaving as she tries to catch her breath.
You hover over her, your eyes darting around her face as she fills her lungs with air.
“You’re gonna pay for that.” She pants and you hum, burying your face in her neck and kissing her jawline.
“Oh, am I?” You ask, Sophia’s breath shuddering as you kiss her pulse point.
“Y-Yeah.” She sighs, giving you a playful glare when you pull away from her, her shining brown orbs locking with your sparkling Y/E/C’s.
“You know...” You start, Sophia’s brow arched.
“I guess TikTok isn’t THAT bad.” You shrug and she giggles.
“Does that mean you’ll make more with me?” She asks and you smirk.
“If they end this way every time, then hell yeah.”
Needless to say, you made A LOT of TikToks after that, and they all, in fact, end the same way every time.
#uswnt x reader#uswnt imagine#sophia smith x reader#sophia smith imagine#this is my first time writing for sophia so be gentle please#feedback is appreciated!
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Love and Deepspace: Boyfriend Headcanons ♡
Hello! I have been sucked into this game in so many ways, I have literally almost lost interest in my other otome games- And yes i chose this game as my comeback but ya’ll already know why :3
Most of these headcanons are kinda already canon? Like canon in game? But don't worry I sprinkled some original ones thought by yours truly of course~ ✩
This will be separate parts as I wanted different posts dedicated to each of our beloved boys, we all love each one of them in this household.
Reader here is Gender Neutral (They/Them)
Warning: Some Spoilers from his Myths and minor swearing.
Reminder: The character belongs to INFOLD/ its respective creators; this is all just fictional work so please try to not take these too seriously :)
♡ First of all, Xavier is a cuddle bug.... HE WILL HUG YOU WHENEVER HE GETS THE CHANCE TO.
♡ So, I would love to think that that he loves receiving and giving, physical touch. Whether its holding hands, hugging you, kissing you- heck.. even just your shoulders touching can count as physical touch to him. Especially, if you aren't comfortable with physical touch yet.
♡ Xavier is also the best napping buddy! He can be in any sleeping position you want, if you want- you can have him just on his back, laying still as you cuddle him in any position. Or maybe you prefer him holding you? Any position is fine with him, as long as he has you sleeping beside him :)
♡ But if you have to ask him what his favorite sleeping position is, it has to be the 'Face to Face' position, so he can get blessed by your sleeping face every morning.
♡ Sometimes, when he wakes up first or feel restless (Which is rarely) he stares at you.... carving every texture, mole or freckle into his brain, even if he had already memorized it by now.
♡ He just wants to.... cherish you before... his time ends you know? (HAHAHAHA SORRY I COULDN'T HELP IT-)
♡ Oh, you love food? Congrats then. You have yourself a foodie buddy- and boyfriend for life!
♡ Almost all your dates are visiting new or old restaurants around Linkon and outside of Linkon to eat, but mostly it'll be hotpot themed as we all know how much he loves his hotpot.
♡ But if we're talking about homecooked meals.... well.. Obviously he can't be in the kitchen but whatever and whenever you cook he'll definitely eat it! Your food is much better then the restaurants you all visit, he claims!
♡ One more love language of his is that I think he'll have is words of affirmation, in a receiving and giving way. With his soft, airy like voice he would whisper sweet words into your ear as you fall to dreamland.
♡ Comfort you if your having a stressful or bad day and he just loves talking to you... you bring out the extrovert in him :)
♡ In the receiving end, he needs all the affirmation and assurance that you'll always be there... He knows he can't be honest all the time and has his flaws but he needs you to tell him its okay. His a soft boy.. only for you obviously.
♡ He would get you flowers every week, once a week maybe. Each week with a different flower; Jeremiah would teach him how to make a small bouquet and teach him how to grow flowers whilst having these lessons, he'll also pick up a book from his other friends library on the meaning of flowers.
♡ When all thats learned have been learned, he'll start bringing you flowers with hidden meanings that you don't pay mind to but Xavier sometimes will tell you what they mean🌷͙֒
♡ Wear whatever you want babe, your boyfriend is literally Lumiere and he'll glare at anyone who has ill intentions for you or the ones whose judging you.
♡ Sometimes we all forget that this man is LITERALLY A PRINCE. (If some of ya'll don't know this yet- spoiler I guess.)
♡ So that means, princess treatment ALL THE WAY, actually no- QUEEN TREATMENT. Doors will be opened, bags shall be carried, you won't pay for shit when your with him as his salary is big (Ordinary hunter MY ASS.)
♡ He'll also do anything you ask him to do. Whether its household related things or... *ahem * *ahem* pest related things....
♡ But yes, he would do anything you ask him to, as long as it makes you happy :)
♡ He would flirt with you, but in a subtle way... like, he would say something so flirty or smooth but he won't comment on it, or he makes it so subtle that it almost sounds like a compliment or normal thing to say.
♡ He'll brush it off if you ask about it and just put on his usually charming smile and give you a compliment instead.
♡ But if you do it back to him, you will notice the red spreading all over his cheek and ears, he might get embarrassed about it but he secretly craves it since you won't do that to anybody but him- and if you do... well.... they will most definitely get the cold shoulder from Xavier as well as the sink eye....
♡ While Xavier has plenty of good qualities about him, it doesn't mean he doesn't have any bad qualities about him.
♡ He would be very secretive. Sometimes you won't know if you truly know him, once you confront him with this problem he'd brush it off and try to derail the conversation but if you push it- you and him will get into a one-sided heated argument. With you as the heated one and him the one-sided.
♡ In the end, you'd have to accept that he won't tell you any of the secrets his hiding so you give up and make him promise to you that once his ready, he should/would tell you everything.
♡ Sometimes the napping habit of his would become too much. It'll result in him losing track of time and possibly missing your scheduled dates, forgetting to eat or do basic self-care and it basically becomes an unhealthy habit. So he appreciates it whenever you're both going out or when you're forcing him to do something else besides napping.
♡ He is a jealous man... not possessive but more on jealousy. He knows you're attractive and he also knows that you won't leave him but his more worried about the other people who'll make a move on you or has ill intentions.
♡ He would hold your hand tightly in public and in a subtle way, he'll show that you both are together but also flexing your intertwined hands.
♡ It's canon that his very good with video games right? But I don't think he plays games all the time, I think his the type to play games whenever you're in the mood to or when he sees you online on your favorite game together.
♡ Minecraft is you and Xavier's ultimate game you both would play in your free time.
♡ He is your monster slayer, he tames animals (mostly cats) and he makes sure your amors all enchanted!
♡ When you're both partnered up for a mission, he would absolutely make sure you're safe the whole time. As much as he knows you can handle yourself- he also wants you unharmed.... He can't bear to lose you.. not again.
♡ So he would always be in front of you. Like a shield almost, but he'd also be your blade- He has always been yours to use, if you asked him to take a hit for you, he would. If you asked him to kill any threats that might hurt you, that threat would be dead in mere seconds.
♡ Nicknames that he'll often call you would be My Queen (Assuming you don't know why), Little Star (Idk I just see it) and... honestly? I don't think his that big on nicknames-
♡ He'd probably just prefer to call you by your name as he likes the way it sounds when he says it aloud :)
♡ When it comes nicknames that are for him however... he doesn't mind them, he even has a few favorites- such as: My Prince, Knight in shining armor, babyboy (I SEE THE VISION.) and Honey.
♡ In conclusion: Xavier is a very sweet, charming and sleepy boyfriend- only when it comes to you of course.
♡ Don't forget, to other people; their opinions don't matter. But your words? They mean a lot to him.
You've all reached the end, yay! Thank you so much for reading this far, I hope you all enjoyed this <3
I tried to make a lot of headcanons as I could, but I lost lots of braincells along the way lol.
I'm actually debating whether I should do a NSFW Version of these headcanons.... do you guys think you'll be interested in that? Of course the other guys would get a NSFW Version as well.
Drop down your favorite headcanon from this post! I'm curious which ones yawls favorite is~
See you guys on my next post~! :3
Zayne's Boyfriend Headcanons, check it out too!
Reblogs are appreciated and Feedback/Comments are always appreciated! :3
(Note: please don't copy and paste my works anywhere, and if you do see them on other platform please inform me.)
#post by: ayo haruko/emiko#feedback is appreciated!#reblogs are appreciated!#love and deepspace#lnds#love and deepspace xavier#lnds Xavier#Xavier x y/n#Xavier fluff#Xavier x reader#Xavier#Xavier x mc#Xavier x you#Xavier love and deepspace#l&d#l&ds xavier#love and deepspace shen xinghui#love and deepspace seiya#love and deepspace shim seonghun
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𝕐𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣𝕖! 𝔸𝕝𝕡𝕙𝕒𝕓𝕖𝕥 ℙ𝕪𝕣𝕒𝕞𝕚𝕕 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕
Pyramid Head x Gn! Reader !18+! !MDNI! Syn. Yandere Pyramid Head Headcanons. Tags. !dark content! yandere, non-con, dub-con, violence, kidnapping/captivity, size-difference, monsterfucking, rough sex, blood-mentions, death/murder, (sfw & smut) Inspired by these templates. click & clack
✧ Affection How do they show affection, how intense would it get?
Physical affection, extremely physical. Since he doesn't communicate verbally and also is a monster rather than a man there isn't any intellectual thought that goes behind his way of displaying affection. He just grabs you, holding you against him when he's docile. And when he's horny moves you into whatever position he wants and just goes at it. Either way, man handles you with no thought, he just has an extreme and intense need to have you felt against him.
✧ Blood How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?
Oh he's so messy... Pyramid Head exists as one of the many demons of Silent Hill whose sole reason exists to punish, to cause tarnish and thus Pyramid Head gets very bloody. On his own his existence is to torture and cause bloodshed, it's wired into him. But when it comes to you? Think everything Pyramid Head has and can do, but tenfold. He'll have every inch of Silent Hill covered in the guts and blood of whichever unfortunate soul tried to come between you and him.
✧ Cruelty How cruel would they treat their darling once abducted?
He's unknowingly cruel. See, Pyramid Head knows nothing but cruelty, he causes dismay and bloodshed to anyone who enters Silent Hill that finds themselves near him. Which reflects on the way he treats you when he has you in his grasp. But his infatuation and need for you are also very real, the cruelty is unintentional in a way. When you try and run, he'll throw you back where he left you. He'll cradle you to hug you and feel you close, but might end up snapping something due to his lack of conscience mind of your bones. Same goes for sex, he doesn't want to cause you pain, but he's huge and rough, it'll hurt.
✧ Delusion How delusional are they?
Everything in Silent Hill is a delusion, Pyramid Head himself, is partly a delusion. He doesn't have to be delusional, sane, or logical when it comes to you. He wants you, and you're stuck here in this town whether you like it or not, you're his. That much isn't a delusion. Once you're in his grasp you belong to him, and that's as simple as it is.
✧ Exposed How vulnerable are they with their darling?
In a sense, Pyramid Head is extremely exposed to you. He's a beast, primal in nature. He simply does, and so whatever he wants or feels you will see the entirety of it with no bars. This goes not just from his bloodlust but to the more sensitive needs. Of course, he technically doesn't need anything like assurance or care. He isn't mortal. But similarly, he doesn't understand the concept of bottling emotions up or feelings. You know when he's down, and he never shies from showing it, even in less-than-savoury ways.
✧ Fight How would they feel if their darling fought back?
Fighting back doesn't bother Pyramid Head in the slightest, like at all. You can bite, scratch, punch, kick, none of it bothers him. He exists to cause that kind of reaction, to punish and push people into frantic fight or flight. Not like you can hurt him anyway, it's impossible to physically hurt him. And unlike any other poor soul trapped in Silent Hill whom he feels complete indifference to and only kills, he likes you, no loves you, wants you. So try and hurt him, beat him till your fists turn blue, he doesn't react nor care.
✧ Guilt Do they have a conscience, would they feel guilty for the things they do?
Nope. He feels nothing, no guilt at all. Pyramid Head's purpose is to slaughter, why would he feel guilt? The same goes for your injuries or the damage he causes you. It's unintentional and ultimately he doesn't want you dead, but also he sees guts and torture on a daily so it doesn't hurt his mutated heart to see you suffer at his hands either.
✧ Hell What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?
Every day spent in Silent Hill is hell. Silent Hill itself is hell in a way, malevolent to anyone who enters. The fact you've caught Pyramid Head's desire doesn't thwart the misery you suffer stuck in there. The worst of every equally hellish day though would be the day Pyramid Head found you. Stranded, horrified having barely survived the horrors of the other demons, then came one of the worst ones wielding a blade. Perhaps you had hoped to survive, to find an escape before. But after finding yourself in his clutches, all hope was lost, thus the day your spirit died.
✧ Ideals What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?
Pyramid Head doesn't have a mind. He's a creature, truly the only desire he has for you is to have you by his side, till Silent Hill perishes. But it never will, it'll always be an endless limbo, you are his and that'll never change. He'll have the instinct that is similar to a predator, to take its prey. The other goers of Silent Hill whom he hunts and kills. All except you, another victim no difference, but you will be forced to stay trapped forever with him.
✧ Jealousy Do they get jealous, how does their jealousy look like?
Pyramid Head doesn't get jealous, per se. He does get possessive though, because you are ultimately his possession. He is a being malevolent and high in power and you belong to him. As such, if something or someone, more specifically, gets in between you and him, he lashes out. Makes sure to make their death extra visceral and makes sure you watch the whole thing, to remind you that you are his.
✧ Kinks What kind of kinks do they have, do they make their darling participate?
Not kinky at all, because he just wouldn't understand it. For Pyramid Head, he's a creature, when he fucks you it's instinctive. Always has you glued to his side either way so he fucks you wherever however as long as he's inside of you, he doesn't care. Now, he doesn't have any kinks specifically he indulges or desires. But he does a preferred way to fuck, and it's rough. He sticks it in ruthlessly and will cum over and over filling you up to the brim with relentless thrusts, he goes animalistic rearranging your guts. And you just have to lay there and take it, there is no control in him when he's rutting in you.
✧ Love letters How would they go about courting their darling?
Courting is non-existent. Pyramid Head takes, and you are left with little to no voice in it. He desires you, unfortunately, and thus you must accept that. He won't approach, he will not gingerly win you over, he nabs you and you're his. This doesn't mean he doesn't care for your affection either. It's just the fact that affection for Pyramid Head is physical in nature, and he can force you into that, just hold you flush against him 24/7 or fuck you silly whenever. That's how he shows love, whether you return it or not isn't important.
✧ Manipulate How manipulative are they and how do they do it?
He lacks the intelligence to make any genuine forms of manipulation, however, this isn't to say he doesn't attempt to coax you into acceptance. Though it's clumsy and mostly futile. Whilst he doesn't care at the end of the day if you accept him or not since he holds all power over you regardless, he still has an insatiable obsession for you. When he holds you and drags you around with him and keeps you pressed to him it's in hope you grow to reciprocate it. Generally though, not manipulative at all.
✧ Naughty How would they punish their darling?
You'd never be the one getting punished, because there is no way you can attempt anything worth punishment. Pyramid Head has already deemed you free of his punishment and thus you will not be slaughtered. This isn't to say he doesn't hurt you, he does. Again not intentionally but often, if he's been aggravated will squeeze you too hard or rampage, but it's never to punish you, it's just a visceral thing. In truth, you are the only thing Pyramid Head does not punish an exception to it.
✧ Oppression How many rights would they take away from their darling?
The second you've entered the grasp of Pyramid Head, you've lost any will of your own. There is no such thing as having a right to anything under him. You exist solely as his, that is all you are meant for to Pyramid Head. The choice or right of freedom is gone. Pyramid Head will hold you as his captive same as Silent Hill holds you captive. When he tears your clothes off to ravish you, he doesn't care if you wish to cover again, if he wants to drag you with him as he roams, you have no choice but to cling to him as he holds you close.
✧ Patience How patient are they with their darling?
How patient Pyramid Head is entirely depends on what his patience is for. If it's patience for any kind of intellectual love or affection he can go centuries awaiting you to show any responsive form of it, that doesn't matter at all to him. But his patience for you to be there, with him, for him, physically? None. From the first encounter you'll have with Pyramid Head to every single following one under him he has no time to care for your reluctance to follow along. You're sat on his cock the minute he wants to put it in you and cuddled against him the second he finds you.
✧ Quit what happens if their darling dies or successfully escapes?
The only way to escape Pyramid Head successfully would include escaping the wrath of Silent Hill. And Pyramid Head is tethered to Silent Hill, for the fog to release you and you find a way out would mean Pyramid Head follows in your release. It isn't an escape because, like Silent Hill, Pyramid Head will simply accept it and accept your triumph. If you died in his clutches though? That's a whole other story, carnage doesn't even begin to cover the way Pyramid Head mourns. It's instinctive, he roars and destroys like a wolf whose mate has been taken. You were his, and now he'll never have what he carnally desired most ever again. Rage will seep into all his executions following your death.
✧ Risks How compliant are they with their darling?
No compliance, at all. There's also absolutely no risk in his treatment of you or any attempts you may use to utilize to escape. There's truly no winning with Pyramid Head if you want something that doesn't align with his needs. Now, it's a completely separate story if the compliance or risk you ask of him doesn't go outside of his desires for you. If you, for instance, beg him to let go of another victim, he will, there are other monsters who can implement their punishment. If you wish to see a specific area in Silent Hill, with him taking and holding you the whole time, he will without hesitation.
✧ Stigma What childhood event brought about this side of theirs?
(He didn't have a childhood there's nothing to add here sorry)
✧ Tears How does seeing their darling cry make them feel?
It bothers him. Whilst your feeble attempts to fight back or of defiance do nothing to him since ultimately you cannot hurt him, it's another thing to see you experience mental anguish as his. He desires you in a form of love, not in a form of punishment that he inflicts on others. When you cry out, he's seen it all too many times with his victims, but those were people he was sent to make suffer. You are his, not to suffer but to be his. And when you weep, it makes him flare uncomfortably, he'll hug you and hope it soothes you to understand his desires.
✧ Unique Do they do anything different from the classic yandere?
Everything, because Pyramid Head's form of yandere is also very different from the classic concept. For Pyramid Head, he isn't human, or sentient in a way, so his obsessive love for you is primal in nature. The feelings he has for you, are in the most basic way have no actual thoughts behind them. Pyramid Head doesn't dream about you or desire you as a lover to chat with or marry. You are literally like a mate to him, a thing he's found infatuation with and that he needs on him constantly.
✧ Vice What weakness can their darling exploit to escape?
The fact that Pyramid Head only exists within Silent Hill, for Silent Hill as an entity. He is tied to Silent Hill, so if you can break your way out of Silent Hill, through whatever means, you've also broken yourself free of Pyramid Head. Though his fixation of you is entirely his own, his loyalty still lies in the fog that created him. If you've deemed yourself worthy by Silent Hill, able to escape the demons there, Pyramid Head won't follow you. And will simply hold you as a memory once you've left.
✧ Wild card Random headcanon of the character.
He has an extremely high libido, it's endless also. He doesn't have a refractory period because his whole structure is impenetrable, he doesn't weaken and neither does his dick. So with you? It's absolutely rabid. Once you're in the picture he gets it ignited from you. You're the object of his every single urge, all of which he fucks out into you. Sometimes just takes you while roaming about, other mortals trapped in Silent Hill may see, but he doesn't care.
✧ Xoanon Would they worship their darling?
Absolutely, but you wouldn't understand it, neither does he really. There's nothing outright to showcase his sheer devotion to you, but it's there and with Pyramid Head it's heavy. With the many occultish things and benevolently malevolent spirits of Silent Hill, Pyramid Head is spiritual by nature. And you, a soul he's found obsession to, truly you are god-like to him. You are the closest Pyramid Head can come to the feeling of salvation. A thing he leans on without realizing because he absolutely needs you with him at all costs. To cling to and worship by touch.
✧ Yearn How long do they pine for their darling before they snap?
He doesn't yearn for anything. The second he sees you and has been overtaken with the feelings he harbours for your existence, he'll take you. Brutally of course. As previously stated, how you feel or react to it doesn't matter the first time he takes you, and that's your first meeting with him as well, because Pyramid Head responds to his baser instincts. He sees, he likes, he wants? He's getting. And what he's getting is you.
✧ Zenith Would they ever break their darling?
Pyramid Head does not intend to break you. He's gotten you to be his and the specifics don't matter outside of that. However, you will break, regardless. Be it your bones or heart or mind. Pyramid Head will love you whole till you've accepted the fate you have, to be his. Melded with him at all times, left to live as his for eternity because Silent Hill is an eternity. There is no other choice truly, but to accept your life as Pyramid Head's darling, his possession. Forever deep in the Silent Hills, his...
#pyramid head x reader#pyramid head x you#pyramid head smut#slashers x reader#slasher x reader#slasher fucker#slasher smut#pyramid head#monster x reader#silent hill x reader#!gwrites!#feedback is appreciated ya'll 😭
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Lost and found
Pairing: Five hargreeves x reader
Summary: You an Five discover more than just plants and strawberries in the greenhouse
Warning(s): kissing, fluff, nothing really
“What the hell is this place?” Five muttered, his voice tinged with suspicion.
“Beats me,” you replied, stepping further inside. “But it’s not like we’ve stumbled upon a better place than this one so far.”
The two of you had been on the run for what felt like an eternity. Your attempt to figure out the subway had gone sideways—again—and now you were stuck in this strange, green timeline with no clear path back.
Five stayed close as you ventured deeper into the greenhouse, his sharp eyes scanning every inch. “This doesn’t make sense. None of this should be here.”
You brushed your fingers against a nearby vine, feeling the life pulsing through it. “Maybe this is just a small piece of the world that refused to die.”
Five huffed, the ghost of a smile on his lips. “That, or we’ve stumbled into some kind of twisted fairytale.”
“Great. Does that make you the grumpy old troll under the bridge?” you teased.
“If I’m the troll, that makes you the annoying adventurer who won’t stop asking questions,” he shot back, though his tone was more fond than bitter.
As you explored, you found yourself drawn to a patch of strawberries growing along the far wall. They were perfectly ripe, a vibrant red that stood out against the greens and browns around them. Without thinking, you plucked one and popped it into your mouth, savoring the sweetness.
Five watched with raised eyebrows. “You sure that’s safe?”
“If it’s not, at least I’ll go out with a decent meal,” you replied, plucking another and offering it to him.
He hesitated, then took it, biting into the fruit with a thoughtful expression. “Not bad.”
“High praise from you,” you quipped.
There was a brief, comfortable silence as you both absorbed the strange beauty of this place. The tension that had been winding tighter and tighter over the past few days—or even years—slowly began to ease, the peacefulness of this place working its way into your entire being.
As you wandered deeper, you came across a patch of wildflowers bathed in golden sunlight. You knelt to touch them, their delicate petals soft under your fingers. “This feels like a dream,” you murmured.
“Or a trap,” Five countered, though his voice lacked its usual edge.
You looked up at him, catching an unguarded expression in his eyes,something softer, more vulnerable than you were used to seeing. “Five?”
He stepped closer, the sunlight casting a warm glow across his features. “You’ve always been fearless,” he chuckled,though his voice was quieter than usual.
You blinked in surprise. “What are you talking about? I’m not fearless, I’m—”
“You are,” he insisted. “And I should have told you sooner.”
“Five…”
“I’ve spent so much time trying to fix everything, trying to keep us all alive, that I forgot there are things I want, too,” he said, his gaze pined on you.
His words hit you like a punch to the gut as you realised what he was implying—not in a painful way, but in a way that left you breathless. You had always known there was something between you, a connection that went deeper than partnership or friendship, but his words still had that affect on you.
Without giving yourself time to overthink it, you reached up and pulled him into a kiss. It wasn’t rushed or frantic, but slow and deliberate, a promise in every brush of your lips against his. Five responded in kind, one hand slipping around your waist while the other cupped the back of your neck, holding you close.
The kiss deepened, his tongue teasing your lower lip before slipping into your mouth. You felt your knees weaken as a wave of heat washed over you, your fingers gripping the front of his shirt as if to support yourself. His hand slid down your back, pulling you flush against him as the kiss grew more intense, more desperate.
It was a kiss that spoke of everything you had both been holding back,years of unspoken feelings, of missed opportunities, all coming to the surface in this one, perfect moment.
When you finally broke apart, both of you were breathing hard, your foreheads resting against each other as you tried to catch your breath.
“I love you,” he said, his voice rough but certain.
You smiled, your thumb brushing against his jaw. “I love you too.”
For a moment, you both stood there in silence, the reality of what you had just confessed settling over you like a warm blanket. The world around you didn’t feel as interesting anymore, not when he was in front of you.
Five glanced around at the greenery, his expression contemplative. “You know, we don’t have to leave right away.”
You raised an eyebrow. “You want to stay?”
“Just for a little while,” he admitted, surprising you with the softness in his voice. “It’s been a long time since we’ve had a moment of peace. We could use the rest and some proper food.”
You looked around at the lush greenery, the golden sunlight filtering through the broken skylight, and felt a sense of calm settle over you. “Yeah,” you agreed, smiling up at him. “Let’s stay.”
With that decision made, the tension that had been a constant companion began to melt away. You found a spot to sit, leaning against a wall covered in ivy, and Five joined you, his hand finding yours and holding it tightly.
For the first time in what felt like forever, you let yourself relax. No missions, no timelines, no disasters—just the two of you, in a place that felt almost unreal.
Five squeezed your hand, drawing your attention back to him. “You know,” he said, his voice low and teasing, “if we’re staying here, we might as well make the most of it.”
You grinned, leaning in to kiss him again, this time slower, savoring every second. “I couldn’t agree more.”
#five hargreeves#five hargreeves x reader#five hargreeves x you#tua x reader#tua five#x reader#fluff#gender neutral reader#x you#fix it fic#no Lila here#the umbrella academy x reader#the umbrella academy#tua season 4#tua s4#female reader#male reader#x gn reader#gn reader#Can you tell I’m a sucker for love confessions?#and kissing#fluffy#number five#No I won’t stop writing the same scenarios in different themes again and again#feedback is appreciated#fix it au#yes the greenhouse looks different so what
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Kid Leo Au: Reunion
Part 12
I am geniunely really frustrated with how...anticlimactic this part feels to me. I wish I had drawn it better and had been more careful when doing my finishing steps :/ I didn't spend as much time on lining/coloring this part this week as I would have liked, so I'm really sorry it kinda falls flat ;-; I hope you all enjoy it regardless <33
NEXT TIME ON KID LEO...OH...
Kid Leo Au Masterpost | First | Next
#rottmnt#art#fanart#digital art#rottmnt fanart#rottmnt leo#rottmnt comic#rottmnt art#comic#rottmnt fanfic#rottmnt kid leo au#kid leo au#sorry if this desc is a bit negative#i am scheduling these and feeling frustrated about how they look#i am my own worst critique haha#feedback is appreciated greatly
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