#i hope this is coherent lol

[a-driftamongopenstars]

something I find extremely well done with Halsin's character is his sexuality. i've been thinking about it on and off but I wanted to write out my thoughts on the matter because it's really well done!

it's rare to find a good representation of a character with high libido in video games. most of the time it's either used as a tool or as a representation of 'sin'. to be fair, most games don't focus on it and don't put it at the forefront, but Larian has gone far and beyond to include intimacy and questions around sex in their game and showed a whole array of very different people with very different tastes. they showed a whole spectrum, from asexuality to the very other end.

with Halsin, his drive is never judged. it's a big part of his character, but not because he's obsessed with it or it's all he thinks about - it's simply a thing he enjoys doing, it makes him feel good and he likes making other people feel good. you can tell it's one of the ways he connects with those he cares about.

and the thing is, he's never judged. he's not the butt of the joke for his desires, it's a part of his druidic nature as well as a part of self. it's beautiful!

he is also so extremely good about boundaries and a healthy discussion of expectations. he never steps over any lines, he is always keeping a door open for more discussion if necessary, he never pushes but he also respects himself greatly. he shows vulnerability when it feels safe to do so.

and like i said, while it's a big part of him, it's also not his whole personality. he is an experienced man who knows what he's about, he is touched by awful trauma, both from his youth but also his more recent times, but his sexuality is not the product of it - it's just who he is.

i love finding mature characters in video games as i myself get older and I love watching devs tackle characters who had a chance and time to grow and become something, someone. in this case, Halsin is so well done, it raises the bar very high for me.

all in all, I'm just really glad they turned him into a proper companion and expanded his story. i know the joke is to thank the "thirsty fans", but really, Larian did very well with him and I think they gave him a very good part in this amazing adventure while also representing a lot of people who are condemned as sex-crazed by the society but are actually just. people.

[apoptoses]

I’ve been thinking about vampires and cultural norms, and how culture shapes people and their expectations. And it got me thinking about the scene in queen of the damned when Daniel struggles with the burial of his first corpse -

And I've seen divided opinions on whether Armand is being an unkind maker here, or if this was the first warning that maybe Daniel wasn't cut out to handle vampirism well and that his madness was inevitable.

But I've never seen the facts concerning the treatment of the dead throughout history, and that Daniel, up until this point had probably never really seen a corpse.

For every other vampire we'd met in the VC up until this chapter, corpses were part of daily life. And not just in the fact that coming across a body in a medieval city or in a filthy backstreet of 18th century Paris was entirely possible, if not downright unavoidable in times of plague or during the Terror. But also because people of all cultures used to care for and sit with our own dead.

For centuries the loss of a loved one meant the family washing their body, laying it out in the home for relatives and friends to come visit. Death was a fact of life, caring for the corpse was part of the grieving process. Louis would have experienced it with his brother Paul, had the house not fallen into chaos Louis might have pushed Lestat to do the same with his father. Had mortal Armand lost a sibling, or a grandparent, he would have seen their body before burial.

And though embalming has existed for ages, it didn't involve the modern heavy wax makeup applied to the body to help it maintain the semblance of life. It was more about preventing decay during the wake period than distancing viewers from the fact that they're seeing a corpse. In fact when one 18th century mortician made a body look too life-like with his new techniques and displayed it to advertise his practice he received a great deal of criticism.

Plus we've all seen the photos of the victorians with their dead- to have the whole family pose with a body for one last photo was the norm, not the exception. There was nothing disgusting or morbid about it.

At the turn of the 20th century a couple things happened to change all of this in the United States specifically: one was the sudden leap in advances in medicine and germ theory, the other was WWI and WWII.

There was a great book that I read (and that I wish I could remember the name of, if this sounds familiar to anyone please tell me) which went into detail about how the mass casualties of the world wars combined with the new and previously unimaginable injuries wrought to the bodies by new weapons and bombs caused such great psychological trauma that death practices in the US were forever changed.

People no longer wanted to wash, display, and sit with their dead. And changing standards for hygiene and the medicalization of the body meant that the dying no longer remained in the home, that the body was swept up and taken from deathbed to morgue to funeral parlor at much greater speeds than in the past.

So by Daniel's time the American 'wake' had gone from a multi-day at home affair to something carried out in a funeral parlor, with a body embalmed and covered in wax makeup to the point it looks less like a corpse than a wax figure, and where viewers step up to the casket, have a quick glance, and then leave.

And outside of unusual and traumatic circumstances, people just no longer saw bodies. If he had a grandparent pass in the home the body could be collected by the coroner in a matter of a handful of hours. If they passed in a hospital then in all likelihood Daniel would have never seen the body at all up until the moment it was dressed up and put in makeup for the viewing.

(If they had a viewing, and not simply skipped the whole process and went straight to closed casket funeral and cremation)

And this doesn't even begin to go into what happens to the body after death that people of the past would have been aware of, but which is no longer common knowledge now, like the way the bowels go slack and empty themselves. And god knows what a body fully drained of its blood would look like.

So for Daniel to experience shock at handling the body of his first kill is hardly a surprise, given the cultural context he grew up in, or that he seemed to have avoided burying the remains later as we know it had to be impressed upon him to be careful with covering up his kills. And for Armand to assume seeing and handling a dead body should be a normal event that one could handle with some detachment isn't a surprise either- even as a mortal he would have had contact with the dead.

(Plus you add what's going on with Akasha and the burnings and you have a really high pressure situation for everyone involved)

It's a cultural issue in some ways. And one I wish Anne had gotten into with modern, newly made vampires more: the ways we handle guilt, grief, and death are deeply connected to whether we treat death as a part of life or sanitize death and distance ourselves from it.

[haventacluewhatimdoing]

Okay so. Hot take on why the Captain doesn't get a whole episode on his death.

He's ashamed of his death. He's a military man that wished he had died a heroic death. Having a heart attack in front of your former men after breaking into a mansion is not the way he wanted to go. We didn't get to see a whole episode of the events leading up to it because the Captain himself didn't want anybody to know, us (the audience) included.

But it's more than that. The Captain died trying to reach the man he loved. And even in his death, he couldn't find the words, or perhaps understood the consequences to Havers if he did say them. Beyond the internalised homophobia which seems to have now been tentatively resolved, or at least definitely worked on, the Captain still sees himself as a coward. A coward in life for not fighting, a coward in death for not telling Havers how he felt.

The Captain is ashamed of his death. That's why we only get about five minutes of it, towards the very end of the episode. Because he tells the story in a rush, he wants the memory over with as quickly as possible.

Of course, I, like most of the fandom, would have loved a whole episode dedicated to the Captain in series 5. But I think that the way his death was portrayed was true to his own feelings towards it. And in a way, I'm glad that it was only a short snippet. Because that's always how we find out anything about the Captain. He's a guarded man, only letting personal information out occasionally, and even then rushing through the moment of vulnerability to emerge out the other side.

TL;DR: The Captain's death scene is short because the Captain is ashamed of his own death and wants his retelling to be over ASAP.

[lucky-luffy]

So every now and then I see a variation of a post that essentially boils down to "Law is actually just like Doflamingo", which is to say, a cruel and antagonistic person. But honestly? I’ve never really bought that. Like, I get the appeal of framing Law as this colder, more ruthless character, and I have no doubt that he must have seemed that way for One Piece fans that were around back when he first appeared on Sabaody. But following him from Dressrosa, through Wano, and up to what we’ve last seen of him in Egghead? I just find this take genuinely confusing. It’s true that Law, much like Luffy, isn’t always the most altruistic guy unless it’s in service to those he cares about and, often times, Corazon('s memory) and what he perceived to be Corazon’s will of stopping Doflamingo. But it’s clear that he genuinely loves his crew enough to sacrifice his own life for them. It’s just that he’s also, for lack of a better term, a tsundere. He acts gruff around people, rarely smiles, and talks in a sort of commanding manner, his speech pattern always lacking honorifics (with the only exception being Cora-san). He’s not one for showing emotion, but that doesn't mean he can’t feel things deeply. He tries to bottle up his pain and insecurity, and he usually has a pretty decent poker face that only really slips off when he’s frustrated (typically at Luffy or his own crew’s antics). He won’t talk about his dead family. Telling Luffy about Cora was framed as him opening up about something deep at a vulnerable moment, because he decided Luffy deserved some context (it was also necessary for him to say it out loud because the readers also needed this information).

Does Law have similarities to Doflamingo? Sure, he even admits that they share a willingness to kill, even though Law later says in Wano that he doesn’t like to. He’s a doctor, after all. It’s not so much Doffy’s influence as Law’s own past experiences making him see the world as this cruel, cut-throat place and Doffy seeing this as genuine common ground. And he likely could have molded Law into a truly vile and selfish person, if Cora hadn’t intervened. But Cora did, and that's what makes Law’s backstory so uplifting, despite being so tragic. He got a second chance. Of course, Cora couldn’t erase all of his trauma. Law still bears a pessimistic view of the world, and of people, other than the few he lets in. And he doesn’t let anyone get too close because what if he loses them, too? I see Law as someone who wants to love others but is deathly afraid to, and that couldn’t be more unlike Doflamingo as a person.

[presidentdisastraofgallifrey]

Now that I know Six a little better and the way he struggles even more than most incarnations of the Doctor to ever focus on anything but his own experience—

That soft, sad “oh, Romana” in tae really is the equivalent of one of Ten’s heartbroken wet dog speeches

[resident-rats]

what are your writing tips/rules that you mentioned?

Just prefacing this with these are just what I do/what works for me!! Everyone is different. None of it is really based on anything 🕺🏻

• I always try to avoid using someone’s name, a pronoun, or The at the beginning of an opening line. That way it tends to be a bit more creative, and the opening line is important because it is the first thing people read and gives a first impression of the rest of the work

• When writing a sentence I make sure 1) the following sentence does not start with the same word as the previous one (the only time I really break this rule is if I want repetition). 2) It also does not end with the same word as the previous one. 3) I try not to start a sentence with the same last word as the previous one

• Same goes for paragraphs, each one starts with a different word etc

• I also try to avoid using a character’s name or pronoun as much as possible at the beginning of a sentence

• And lastly I try to make sure it looks interesting? Like if I were to black out the sentences would the lines be repetitive or would it look interesting?

Incase I’ve just explained myself horribly lol, in my opinion this is more interesting:

Than this:

Those are all of my silly writing rules™️ anyway. Though they’re not super strict, I’ve definitely broken all of them at some point lol. And also I just do this as a hobby, I’m just winging it

But usually the restrictions on how to start/end sentences help me a lot with creativity and structure, because I need to find different ways of phrasing stuff which I wouldn’t normally think about

ANYWAY I hope this was helpful, and I articulated it okay instead of making it sound like confused ramblings lol. There’s probably more stuff I do which I forgot to mention, but that’s the gist of it anyway. And hey these might be a bit basic idk, but it’s what I stick to 🫡

It’s also definitely worth looking up writing tips etc because everyone has a different approach, and sometimes you will stumble across something you hadn’t considered before and it can be quite beneficial! There are other rules I use that are more legit which I found that way

[charleslee-valentine]

Hey, this is a very random question, but one that has been itching at my brain for a little while.

I first want to start this off by saying that you are genuinely my favourite author for TCM fanfics just in general. Everything you right for that film series is just so spot on and perfect, and I really mean that. I’ve read my fair share of TCM fanfics, and yours come out on top by far.

I do have one little question about how you write Nubbins and Franklin. They’re probably my favourite ship in the whole fandom, and my question was if you headcanon either (or both) of them as asexual.

I’ve just noticed that for other ships you’ll include some form of sexual content (like with Lefty and Drayton, for example), but never with them, and I was just really curious about it.

Obviously I’m not here saying “write smut about characters!!!🤬🤬🤬” because that’s actually insane, but I just wanted to know your thoughts on that. I’m ace myself, so this is coming from a place of pure curiosity.

Anyway, sorry if this is such a weird ask, but it’s just something that I picked up on while binge reading your fics. You’re a seriously talented writer, and I just wanted to know a little more about the thought behind it :-]

I totally understand what you’re sayin’, so no worries there!! I’m on the ace spectrum too!

I love talking about these little dudes so I’ll be happy to share (plus omg thank you for your compliments!! this is so sweet!) I’ll talk about how I see it for them separately and then together!

I like to keep in mind that Franklin probably has Spina Bifida, which can cause sexual dysfunction. That can be through low sex drive, pain, or conditions like erectile dysfunction. While that doesn’t automatically rule sex out, it can make it an extremely draining task for very little payoff. I personally don’t think Franklin would even want to try sex knowing it’s just gonna be frustrating for him. It’s not so much that he doesn’t experience sexual attraction as much as not seeing the point of it for his personal needs. Given the amount of frustration he already deals with, it’s not a priority.

Nubbins I think is more on the asexual spectrum. While at first his hesitance with sex comes from ignorance and not being taught about it, I do think he’d experience at least some sexual desire and want to know more. Once he has someone to navigate that with instead of just “this is a feeling I have and it’s strange and uncomfortable,” he tries to get his grasp on sexuality and struggles somewhat. With Franklin he *wants* to enjoy sexual feelings but it just doesn’t happen. It’s awkward and grabby and as expected with the Sawyers, unsanitary, so I think it just would be something he’s not into in the end combined with his sensory issues. This sort of puts him on the edge of flip-flopping between sexual attraction and sexual repulsion.

Together, they try a few times and both hate it. If there’s any kind of Franknub sex going on, I picture it as a mutual masturbation, you do your thing and I’ll do mine and we don’t really touch each other type of deal. But even that’s rare for them. I also don’t think they’d talk about it much. Nubbins might ask some extremely strange and uncomfortable questions now and again to try to understand it better, especially given how different his body is from Franklins since he’s disabled, but I don’t think they establish anything super clearly. The attitudes they were raised with around sex (Drayton refusing to talk about it at all and Franklin having religion in his family) aren’t even the entire problem, though it does contribute. There’s an aspect of guilt both in doing it at all and then in doing it somehow “wrong” because it’s not really pleasurable for them.

Instead, I think signs of intimacy and trust for them would be largely non sexual, things like making direct eye contact and holding it for several minutes, or spilling blood together (maybe their own, maybe somebody else’s, but either way violence is fascinating and romantic to both of them.) For Franklin, intimacy might be things like Nubbins assisting him the way a caregiver might, because as a disabled person myself, I feel that that is the ultimate sign of trust. For Nubbins, he’d see intimacy as non sexual physical contact like sitting on Franklin or touching his hair or fidgeting with his clothes. Little details are bigger for them than grand gestures and sex is unimportant to their relationship. If things get tense and it happens, it happens, but it’s not necessarily meaningful or particularly loving for them.

(This is all purely my headcanons, not canon analysis! I just thought I’d specify since I make both kinds of posts!)

So yeah in short 1) thank you for being so kind 💕 and 2) I do see Nubbins as asexual, yes, and it impacts the relationship a bit! I don’t like writing about Franknub being sexual much because I don’t see it as something they often bother with and to incorporate all the intricacies of how they experience sex and desire into another narrative wouldn’t do it justice I feel. But I could possibly write something about one of the rare times k bc the future!

[ninetyminutes]

are you ready for the 50th anniversary?!?

OMG YES!!! I am so excited!!

I watched the homecoming concert yesterday night and had an absolute blast. Honestly, I wasn't expecting it to be as fun as it was, but I was so thrilled with everything. Andy Sandberg with Lady Gaga and Will Ferrell had me laughing so hard. I genuinely wasn't ready for it.

I will take this as an opportunity to tell everyone a bit about my personal experience growing up with SNL since I don't think I have. I am only 23 years old, far from the 50 years SNL boasts.

My parents have been watching SNL for as long as I can remember. They would record the episode every Saturday night on our TV and the next day we would watch it back at a more reasonable time because staying up that late wasn't exactly feasible for us. And even now I wish I could stay up that late but I get up for work at 4:30 am and I can't afford to screw up my sleep schedule to watch a show at 11:30 I WISH I COULD I SWEAR, BUT IT WOULD SO FRICK UP MY SLEEP SCHEDULE. But we watch it together every Sunday and honestly, it's sort of a tradition for us.

While I wasn't around to see the likes of Chris Farley, Mike Myers, Bill Murray, Chevy Chase, Adam Sandler(!!!), Will Ferrell(!!!), etc. on SNL, I will say that their movies and post-SNL careers were my childhood. I vividly remember watching their films over and over and over, probably at an age a bit too young given some of their ratings. Hell I mean, even right now I'm sitting here typing this with Pixels with Adam Sandler playing in the background.

I will not be watching tonight's episode live, but you know damn well I'll be watching it tomorrow morning! And I will add that I will be watching the SNL50 Anniversary Special live tomorrow since it's at a much more realistic time for me personally. I am a night owl like Lorne, I LOVE existing when it's dark outside, but unfortunately, that's not suitable for the life of an aerospace engineer.

Anyway, enough about me. I AM SO EXCITED. I have NO idea what to expect, but I know it will absolutely exceed any and all expectations. Can I also say that I'm sooooo excited for the Lorne book?? I have it on same-day delivery and a long flight that same weekend with nothing better to do so be prepared for me to absolutely overload this page with interesting quotes I find while reading

[ritzcuit]

Actually, if you don't mind me asking...

"What makes you like SoJ and the Dragon Family so much?" I can tell from your drawings that you deeply enjoy both!

its a good question...!! HMMM

for soj, it's mostly because i like revolutionary stories! i looooove a good rebel group, a good "fighting the powers that be" story, and ESPECIALLY love the fact that the rebels in soj aren't demonized. or like, they are, but as propaganda, not as a genuine part of the narrative. when you meet datz in 6-3 and he starts tearing down the propaganda phoenix has been fed, it's just so nice..

especially that the dragons are shown to just be like, normal citizens, mostly. like when you hear someone talking about their family member being wrongly accused, and beh'leeb is reassuring them... it's so. </3 the sympathetic view is so appreciated. and with the current political climate of everything... augh. it's just refreshing. i love it...

but really, the reason why i love soj And the dragon family so much, is entirely because of datz 🥹🥹 soj is the best game because it has datz. simple! he's the perfect mix of goofy-crazy unhinged guy, and serious-earnest-loyal rebel guy, and his heart is so big and WAAHH DAAAATZ

datz loves that family so much, i had to love them too :'3 he talks so proudly about yuty and hypes up apollo all the time... it just gives the impression that he's the proud uncle who saw them both grow up into capable adults, and *sniffle*its just so cute. it's so cute!!!!

plus, thankfully, everyone involved is so fun to think about. nahyuta is such a regal and put-together character that it's almost addictive to think about him having a crazy uncle LMAO and apollo...! i don't care what everyone says, the soj backstory is so fun for apollo. he's SUCH a normal underwhelming guy that imagining him saying "oh right and i was raised in the himalayan mountains by criminals but it doesn't really matter--" is so funny...

*also i know it's set in, you know, the himalayan mountain range, but at least through the english translation, a lot of the vibe reminds me of appalachian america, and a lot of my family is from there so it just feels very cozy to me :3

AND THEN... OF COURSE... its the implied history... between him and dhurke. that has driven me crazy for 5 years. AUHG. AUAHGH. WOAHGH. i can talk about how soj has its merits and how cutie cutie the dragon family had to be, but really, it's all because of the Insane Devotion one must extrapolate datz having towards dhurke 😭BC HE WAS THERE. FOR EVERYTHING. HE TRUSTED DHURKE IMPLICITLY. THROUGH ACCUSATIONS OF TREASON. AND HELPED RAISE KIDS WITH HIM. AND. AUAHG. AOUGH. I'M SUFFERING POISON DAMAGE!

soj just loosely implied a backstory but gave just enough details that you can imagine anything. datz coming up with asinine stories to tell the kids before going to bed.. dhurke trying to homeschool his boys and then he's like, wait a second, we live in the mountains. and him relishing in that off-grid feeling, free from everything, just getting to see his kids run around safely.. :') he'll teach them, sure, but they can learn from all sorts of things. not just books. but then datz brings books! and toys! and they all go fishing together! and maybe dhurke suggests datz stays the night, you know, since it's already late...!! AAHHHH

[rosewinterborn]

I don't see you hate things a lot tbh

I try try not to hate on things online. Partially because i don't want to kill someone else's good time over something dumb (because its rarely someone who deserves or should even care about my opinion) and partially also because if i ever get called out for being unnecessarily mean the RSD will rise from the deep and swallow me whole :P

Irl I frequently evaluate what I've said, usuallybto my husband, (over the course of a conversation, or an afternoon, or a week) and feel like i must have been a deeply unpleasant person to interact with because every other sentence was a criticism or a complaint. I think its usually a sign that i need something self-care related and I'm too burned out to do it.

[angelbaby-fics]

Hi Chloe sweetie. I am assuming we have heard the same news. I feel like I do not really have words. I am disgusted. I am disturbed. I am disappointed. This site is a place to express yourself, find like minded individuals and foster a community. But this is wrong. There is so much to discuss about all of this, but I feel it needs to be a community wide discourse of the application of fictional characters into fics and arts. However, I feel like nothing I can say right now will be enough or correct.

I wanted to check in on you. Are you okay? I will be here if you need to talk.

-♡

thank you so much darling 🥺💕

fortunately (or unfortunately i guess) i've been around fandom spaces on the internet for so darn long that this kind of stuff starts feeling inevitable rather than surprising. its so exhausting & it doesn't make it any easier to deal with whenever it happens & i hate that i get jaded to this kind of thing tbh. idk.

i don't know what to do about it. i want to be proactive & save the world & everybody in it from harm & stress but every time crap like this happens it gets more & more disheartening... like what can i even do??

idk... just channel my energy into making this safe space here so maybe people can know that not every corner of the internet is abysmal and depraved. i dont know if its selfish to be drawing attention to myself at a time like this but i just want everybody to know that this blog will always be a 100% safe space, a place of love and understanding and most importantly open communication. even if my brain is frazzled by everything right now and i'm sure i'm not articulating even 10% of what i have to say on the subject, i wanna thank you for sending this (as well as, ofc, every single message you send my dear), and at least to some degree opening up this discussion to my little section of tumblr 💕

i'm okay, i want everybody else to be ok too. i'm here for anybody to talk, but if its alright with you guys (and i say this broadly, meaning not just moots but everybody who wants to send me a message), i'd like our discussions to stay on the positive side, i wanna be a reminder that fandom can still be a nice and comfortable place with the right people & mindsets okay? i love you guys. i'm in a good mood today despite everything and i wanna spread some positivity, so please feel free to send asks or even dms if you need a bit of light today. i love you guys.

[ontheground17]

I wasn’t a latchkey kid, so I can’t exactly speak on how exactly one would feel in that situation, but I feel like this is a situation which requires a nuanced approach.

I don’t necessarily think this is a bad parenting style, but I don’t think it’s right all the time. Especially because, to some extent, it doesn’t really matter how the child felt about growing up as a latchkey kid.

You can say you had a good childhood as a latchkey kid, and genuinely mean it, but my parents could’ve let me drop out of school and eat whatever I want whenever I wanted and I could still say I had a good childhood. Because I was happy for most of it.

But that’s where the nuance comes in. Because dropping out of school and eating whatever you want has an active effect on your future, but latchkey parenting doesn’t really. You just don’t run the same risks. Which is why it’s interesting (and important!!) to get the kids opinions.

In theory, I think latchkey parenting is actually a good thing, because it teaches kids independence and how to survive on their own, without having to throw them in the deep end right away. But in practice, the world is a dangerous place, and as a parent, are you willing to take that chance? Should you even take that chance? There are so many horror stories about kids being left alone at home and being hurt, would you really want to increase the risk that it could be your child?

Beyond that, latchkey parenting tends to, at least in fiction, go hand in hand with a sort of hands off parenting style, which is definitely not good.

I think latchkey parenting could be really beneficial for a lot of kids, but I also do think it has a time and place, and it’s not without risks. So I’m not willing to say definitely that’s it’s positive or neutral in my mind.

I think this really depends on the fandom you're in or your personal history with the situation but I'm wildly curious what the general thoughts are. to be clear, when I say latchkey, I mean there were no adults in your house until the evening/after work, and you were at home by yourself until then. personally, I was a latchkey kid growing up, and I loved it. I got to wander wherever I wanted after school and then I could lounge around the house until my parents came home unbothered. on the other hand, I do LOVE torturing my latchkey blorbos with neglect and loneliness....

reblog for more vote range!! ooh and tell me in the tags your staple latchkey activity~

[venus-ratt]

Gangle is in her own personal hell - Analysis

I want to talk about something that's been on my mind for a long time, and this new episode helped consolidate.

First, we need to talk about the tape room scene. We know this isn't some random corporate employee training video, but something she personally put together (not sure when or how, but that doesn't matter) and it reveals a lot about herself. I've seen people discussing how she projects giving up her dreams, but I want to pause right here.

The second Jax responds with "no," things get serious. That's what triggers the restraints and the brainwashing video. What stands out to me is the "why not?" The line delivery is creepy, but she also seems concerned. Like she can't even fathom the idea of not wearing a smile in the workplace and it's something that needs to be fixed as quickly as possible. Which brings us to the next point:

Gangle used to cope in her old life by masking.

We see her doing this throughout the episode. Around others, she puts on a happy face and forces an enthusiastic attitude, but the second she is left alone, the mask slips. Literally.

I wonder if her attempt to brainwash Jax was a reflection of how she was hammered with the idea that all her negative feelings should stay hidden, no matter what. We don't know for sure who pushed this onto her. Perhaps it has to do with the way she was raised, or something she learned in her workplace, or maybe it was self imposed.

Which makes her current situation at the circus just cruel.

Imagine waking up in a body that's not yours, in a headache-inducing, colorful hell, surrounded by people you don't know who tell you that you're here forever. And you try to cope by forcing a smile because that's what you always do, but the second you take a wrong step, you find yourself unable to do so. It doesn't matter how hard you try: you can't stop crying. Now you're stuck with the ugly, vulnerable version of yourself, the one you tried to hide all your life, for everyone to see.

People talk about the characters coping in different ways, but the circus straight-up ripped away the only way she knew how to cope.

[crypticsketchpad]

uhhhhhhhhhh emotion ocs. bcuz why not. going back to my cringe ship kid roots /lh

first is Excitement (she/her; Joy x Anxiety)! as her name suggests, she is very energetic and enthusiastic, always looking forward to the future and all the fun things it will bring.

hyperactive, overly excitable, and driven by adrenaline; will often act without thinking

anxiety is typically the one to reel her in and keep her in check

loves theme parks, thrill rides, field trips, and just generally getting to go out and have fun

i think her voiceclaim would be like. kristen schaal or something lmao. might change that but i think it fits

these guys are less developed but i like them so i'm sharing them anyways! here's Paranoia (he/they; Fear x Anxiety) and Restlessness (he/they; Ennui x Fear).

Paranoia specifically represents the feeling you get after watching a scary movie and beginning to think there's a monster in your house, leading you to check behind every door for things lurking and whatnot. (or maybe that's just a me thing..? idk SGDSKHSLKLSDH)

mouth can open VERY wide. gator boy

is it hair or antennae? the world may never know. theyre basically like what Fear has going on with his singular hair(?) strand

very jumpy and jittery, often has trouble sleeping; will most likely scream if disturbed in literally any situation

specializes in worst-case-scenario projections, which often turn out to be on the more outlandish end

transmasc!! hell yeah

Restlessness is physically incapable of sleeping, which tends to cause problems for the rest of the mind when he's in charge of the console. they tend to take over on days when Ennui, Fear, or Anxiety are the most active emotions.

paces a lot; leaves trails of glowing footsteps wherever he walks that get brighter the more he walks in one place (they do fade away eventually)

one of the tallest emotions, around Embarrassment's height; has a habit of constantly tilting their head back when standing, so their nose makes them even taller

hair coils and uncoils passively as if it has a mind of its own; will coil up tightly when he's stressed, and mostly straighten out when calm (a rare occasion)

Paranoia 🤝 Restlessness = the insomnia brothers

also transmasc. we love to see it

*you might already have seen Restlessness in this post by @ronniesbizzareblog!! go check it out it has great IO artwork

[zukosdualdao]

i did want to reply to say i definitely don’t begrudge you or anyone else this! if that’s what a happier and more satisfying post-canon arc for you for any reason, including personal experience, more power to you!

my issue tends to be that it feels like the fandom at large seems to think that a reconciliation between them is the Only valid ending to their relationship dynamic, and there is sometimes unnecessary pushback against the idea that maybe that’s not the case. but there are people like zuko with these kind of fractured and abusive relationships with their family that won’t ever be able to reconcile, whether because the person isn’t willing to put in the work or there is just too much history between them even if they try. and i think it’s important that there are stories and characters that reflect that sometimes you might not be able to repair those relationships, but that you can still go on to have a full and meaningful and happy life.

it’s time for me to admit that i find a post-canon in which azula and zuko don’t reconcile just as (and maybe more) cathartic than what seems like a large fandom consensus that the only happy/cathartic ending is for them to be on good terms down the road. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[meanbossart]

How did your DU drow react when he got told he had to kill his spouse? and then when he went to wake up Astarion and get tied up? I think I just wanna know how your DU drow mentally/emotionally is doing during and after that part, and when talking to Astarion afterward, I'm a sucker for hearing about those deep kinds of moments (hopefully that makes sense?) Also, how did your DU react when you met Kressa Bonedaughter and learned all about what was done to him (again, I know none of the companions really comment on literally something horrible being told such a shame, honestly) but how would you say or think that Astarion and Shadowheart might have reacted hearing that info? Again, thank you for all your art and for answering these questions! PS: (I really don't care if your answer is super long; I WILL EAT IT UP)

Sooo for the first question, I wanna preface by saying that I personally don't think their relationship was that in depth yet, at that point. Yes, DU drow enjoyed Astarion's company and relied on him in a similar way which he relied on Shadowheart. And also yes, Astarion saw DU drow as the first person who ever took him and his agency seriously - but I think feelings were still in their infancy. DU drow's mind was a mess through and through; he drank constantly to keep his urge at bay, he kept his distance from everyone most of the time, and when he did seek out comfort in either Shadowheart or Astarion (the non-sexual kind, they didn't really fuck at all), it was a kind of primal instinct and desperate longing for companionship - if you asked him if he was in love with anyone, however, he would have said no.

Similarly, while I think Astarion's act 2 confession is sincere, I also think that he's being sincere when he says that he doesn't know what you are yet. You're not really a lover, but you aren't a victim, either; what you are is a person who he would rather not have to murder eventually, and as someone who has had their empathy squeezed out throughout the course of two centuries, that's meaningful enough. He may fantasize about the best case scenario for you two - but he has no expectations that whatever this is will last. But it is nice, for the time being.

So the "murder your darling" scene, rather than a proof of love and trust, is to me the turning point where:

A) DU drow has to come to terms with the fact that he doesn't have as much control over the Urge as he thought, and B) When Astarion snaps out of his care-free, just-go-with-the-flow nature around his plan and this relationship. They both realize they bit off more than they could chew and are now caught in each other's crossfire.

Which is to say that I don't read Astarion's words of comfort to him as entirely honest - specially when you compare it to certain dialogue deliveries later in the game. I think he's still, to a degree, telling you what you need to hear so that you hold out for just a bit longer and kill Cazador. You probably can't be together forever as he idly fantasized about once or twice, when he let his mind wander - but god damn it, he needs to at least be free, and it seems like you have bloodlust to spare to make that happen.

Meanwhile, DU drow finally comes to confront the fact that he is not in control. Doesn't matter how hard he tries or how much he drinks, the urge will do to him as it will, and when it wishes. It stops being fun and it gets scary, from that moment on.

But here's who did stop it: Astarion. Where alcohol fell short and his willpower failed, Astarion stepped in.

So, more interesting than the scene itself to me, is how from that point on DU drow would have no choice but put his trust entirely on the vampire to control him. He ties him up, he keeps an eye on him, he has full spoken-word permission to kill him if necessary - he is forced to be as vulnerable at humanly possible under his hand, every night. Regardless of whether or not DU drow realizes that Astarion is doing it for his own reasons, he doesnt care, because Astarion has now become his rock and his bondage - hell, if Astarion does have a reason to keep him alive that's all the better; someone else might just slit DU drow's throat and be done with the concern altogether.

And so, it's only from that point on that DU drow truly starts to see Astarion as an equal, and even a partner. He's thinking that, if his whole life has to be like this, at least he has someone who can handle it.

Astarion, meanwhile, I believe only comes to truly consider (and wish for) DU drow's freedom after he's free from Cazador - and after he bestows that freedom upon his siblings and the other spawn. That's when he finally understands the length of DU drow's devotion to him and the value of freewill as a concept- and how he wants it for both of them, instead of being content with his own.

Not to mention... I think in Astarion's mind he was 100% not going to survive Cazador LOL so when he succeeds he's like "oh shit I guess anything is fucking possible huh. Yeah fuck it lets go fight your dad, also I've decided I want you for realsies, now."

Anyways, can you believe I thought this was gonna be a short ask. Here have a doodle I made while thinking about all this bullshit:

As for Kressa, I got an ask about that before but I can't find it now LOL to summarize; he was pissed, angered, and in a far more personal level embarrassed to have had his dirty laundry aired (AKA, victimized) in that way in front of the others - but this isn't something he would have expressed outwardly, and I think both Shadowheart and Astarion would have known better than to inquire him about it. It's not really something he would have sought out comfort for in anyone, so, I think the subject died as soon as Kressa did. In this case, their lack of commentary was completely appropriate - If they had reached out in any way (which would have been, in my opinion, completely out of character) DU drow would have shut them out with a quickness.