#i hope this clarifies my initial comment!

[thef1diary]

Little Big Fan | Four

- Little Big Celebration

Series Masterlist

wc: 1.6k

After getting over the initial shock of seeing him, you greeted him. "I thought you were room service, I ordered some food."

He smiled but then he asked the question he's been meaning to ask since he couldn't find you after the celebrations, "why did you leave so fast?"

"Isabella watched you hold the trophy then she fell asleep. I didn't want the noise to disturb her," you explained, and he nodded in understanding. "Is that why we're still standing here, because she's sleeping inside?"

You shook your head, "as long as you keep it down." You moved out of the way to let him inside and he saw your favourite show queued up on the tv.

"Looks like you already have plans for the night," Max commented and you chuckled, "This is how my nights are usually spent."

"Well then I probably shouldn't ask if you want to come celebrate with us." Both of you sat on the couch, facing each other. "That would mean going to a club, which I can't do but you should go celebrate your win."

Based on the celebrations you saw on the podium, you knew the afterparty would be even better. A little part of you wished that you could go, but you were content with how you've been spending your nights lately.

"Congratulations by the way," you added. "Do you want me to leave?" Max asked bluntly which made you frown. "No, but if you have plans—"

"My plans are here, with you," he interrupted you, making you shut your mouth with his response. A smile threatened to grow on your face but you managed to compose it. "Plus I can celebrate next weekend at the next race," Max added, a smug smile on his face and you couldn't hold back yours any longer.

"That confident in your winning capabilities?" You asked with a teasing tone behind your words. He shrugged, "if I don't think I am the best, then I won't be the best."

There was another knock at your door, and this time you were certain it was room service. Fortunately, you ordered enough food so you could share with Max.

Watching your show was at the bottom of the priority list, replaced by wanting to keep the conversation going with Max.

"Don't tell Brad about this," Max spoke, pointing to the meal that surely wasn't part of his diet. "Oh no, the champion is a rule breaker," you teased him, earning a smile from him in return.

Max looked at the closed bedroom door, "did she have fun today?"

"So much fun! I think she would start asking me when we're going to another race," you told him, the excitement on Isabella's face is something you wouldn't forget anytime soon.

"All you have to do is ask, I can get you the passes for the next race." Based on his tone, he wasn't joking and you quickly shook your head.

"No, you've already done so much for us; the hotel, flight tickets, caps and whatnot," you explained, but he was quick to retort. "I don't want to sound like a stuck up asshole, but the cost doesn't matter as much as the experience."

You couldn't help but chuckle, "maybe another time, Isabella is starting school soon too."

"First grade?" He asked, and you nodded, "yeah, she's growing up so fast."

"And what about you, did you enjoy this weekend?" He looked at you in anticipation, hoping you enjoyed his company as much as he enjoyed yours.

"Maybe not as much as Isabella, but it was a very nice experience and I still can't believe you do this for a living." He chuckled at your response, but then you added, "and what about you?"

"What about me?" He asked, and you clarified, "did you enjoy this weekend, home race and all?"

He seemed taken aback by the question but he answered nonetheless. "A lot better than it usually is," the meaning behind his words was clear to you, especially with the way he looked at you.

"If you told me earlier, I would've worn orange for the race." Max shook his head, "Then people would've thought that you were supporting McLaren."

An idea popped in your mind and you slapped your hand on his thigh while exclaiming, "I should've taken the cape from Daniel!"

Your hand remained on his thigh but you didn't seem to realize, and he didn't move it away either. "I'll get you one next year," Max suggested.

Your focus shifted away from Max as soon as you heard footsteps in the room Isabella was sleeping in. "Hold on," you stood up and went to check on her.

As soon as you opened the door, Isabella paused in her step, looking at you with a sheepish smile on her face.

"Angel, are you hungry?" You asked, knowing that there were a bit of leftovers. She shook her head, then pointed at the suitcase or rather the teddy bear sitting on the suitcase.

You passed it to her and she climbed back in bed. "Are you sure you're not hungry?"

"No, mama, I'm tired." On cue, she yawned as you walked closer to her. Tucking her in properly, you placed a kiss on her forehead and sat by her side, brushing your fingers through her hair until she was sound asleep. Which again, didn't take long.

You noticed the glittery clips still in her hair from earlier in the day. You carefully began taking them out one by one while trying not to wake her up. Then, after placing another kiss on her forehead, you left the room.

"Everything okay?" Max asked as soon as you sat down on the couch. You nodded, "yeah, she went back to sleep."

"The race really tired her out today," he smiled because of his next thought, "seems like she's the one who raced instead of me."

You chuckled, "looks like it." Then you added, "I know you're a professional and all but it was just as much fun as it was scary watching you drive so fast."

"So you're not a big fan of fast cars?" He didn't comment on the fact that you only mentioned him while there were nineteen other drivers on the grid.

"That depends, will your follow up question be if I would trust you to drive me around?" You responded with a question and he had a sheepish smile on his face, "maybe."

"I guess I'll have to get in a car with you one day to know the answer to both questions."

Your conversation was interrupted by a call on Max's phone. He muttered a curse before declining it. "Why don't we watch your show?" Max suggested, leaning back on the couch comfortably.

You didn't ask him about his other plans, as he had already assured you earlier that the only plan he has for tonight are with you.

It was possible that he wanted to spend more time with you before you leave tomorrow evening, and you couldn't help but smile at the thought.

The thought of leaving didn't sit with you, but you pushed it to the back of your mind and focused on the present, with him.

You grabbed the remote and pressed play, shuffling a tad bit closer to Max.

Somewhere along the way, a few episodes later, Max's arm rested on the back of the couch. His fingers lightly grazed your shoulder every time either of you moved.

Max's phone rang two more times. The second time he picked up and quickly muttered, "I'm busy." Then he turned it off, and apologized to you.

"It's okay, you're the most popular man of the night, people want to see you," you shrugged casually.

"Yeah well, I don't want to see them." You chuckled, liking his bluntness.

It was pretty late when he decided to leave, both of you were so tired but neither wanted the night the end. You opened the door for him, but as he stepped out, he turned to look at you.

"I'll drop you two at the airport tomorrow, just let me know when you're leaving." Once again he said it so casually that you had to remind yourself that he only knew you for a few days. Although it didn't feel like it.

"You don't have to," you reminded him that he was under no obligation to send you off. He shook his head, "I want to, if you let me."

You couldn't say no to him, and perhaps it was a little selfish because you wanted to spend all the time there was with him. You haven't been selfish in a while and it is about time to change that.

"I'll text you tomorrow then. Isabella is going to be very happy knowing she'll see you tomorrow as well." You stated, not mentioning that you would be happy to see him too, using your daughter as an excuse. But then, you didn’t lie either because Isabella would be overjoyed as well.

"Trust me, I'll be very happy too," he added with a smile, preferring not to tell you how delighted he would be to see you as much as he was to see Isabella. That information was best kept to himself.

Then he left. While Max hadn't properly celebrated a race win tonight like he usually did, this sort of celebration felt better than any others.

He walked away with a smile on his face that wasn't related to his victory at all. He was just looking forward to seeing you and Isabella again.

Taglist: (let me know if you want to be added or removed) @xjval @mrsmaybank13 @cherry-piee @urfavnoirette @solphin @burningcupcakefire @nessacarty1 @dreamsarebig @omgsuperstarg @fanficweasley @redbullgirly @llando4norris @wonnou @randomgirlnumber13 @dark-night-sky-99 @chanshintien @leilanixx @gisellesprettylies @peachiicherries @monsieurbacteria6 @67-angelofthelordme-67 @arian-directioner @distancedss @morenofilm @sachaa-ff @lighttsoutlewis @teamnovalak @casperlikej @sadg3 @d3kstar @lewisvinga @lpab @queenofmanydreams @glitterf1 @honethatty12 @drunk-teens-doing-drugs @its-avalon-08 @yourbane @oconswrld @noneofyourfbusinessworld @ssrcsm @softtina @namgification

[lizard-on-a-window-pane]

hi gorgeous!! The way you write james has me thinking non stop about him for days (i need him fr) so on that note, can i please get a request where reader gets jealous for some reason and he doesn’t notice at first cause he only has eyes for her but she kind of gets clingier and a little grumpy so he talks to her and just lots of fluff and cuddles? Thank you <3

thank youu! comments like that make me want to be writing all the time really hope you like it!! sorry i got a little carried away length-wise

a confession among friends: getting called my boyfriend's sister actually happened to me once and i was soo pissed lmao

pairing: James Potter x reader word count: 4.1k (not completely proofread)

Boy-friend

You weren’t much in the mood for a party. No matter how many times Sirius clarified that it was only a “get together,” it was a party. Still, James had wanted to come, and there’d been plenty of times he’d come out because you were the one who felt like it, so you were happy to try to make the most of it. 

James comes up behind you now, surprising you and tickling you with no warning. You break out in full laughter but contort to smack him away. 

“Stop! stop!” you half laugh, half yell. 

“Alright, shortcake, but if I catch you looking grumpy again, you’re gonna get it,” he replies cheekily, giving you a playfully accusatory squint. “Shortcake” wasn’t your favourite of his nicknames, but it had stuck after one night the boys had had way too much to drink and way too much fun making fun of you for being the shortest of the group, not bothering with your contention that it wasn’t fair since you were the only girl.

“I was not looking grumpy.” 

“Given I’m the one who could see what you looked like, not you, I think my word counts for more here.” 

“What are you two on about?” Sirius interrupts, wrapping an arm around James’s shoulders in their typically brotherly way. 

“Was or was she not looking grumpy just now?” James asks.

“Was,” Sirius nods affirmatively.

“Whatever, you losers,” you roll your eyes at them. “Anyway, if I’m looking bored” — you glare at them before either corrects your word choice — “I feel justified in blaming the host of the party,” you smirk at Sirius.

“It’s not a party; it’s a get t—“ 

“A get together,” you both finish for him. 

“Yes, yes, we know, mate,” James laughs. “Lots of people in your flat for a ‘get together,’ don’t you think?” 

“Well, I’ve just made lots of cool friends recently. Thought it’d be nice for them to meet each other,” he shrugs.

“Always so generous,” you tease.

“‘Course,” he shrugs. “How else are you two annoyingly romantic recluses going to meet anyone new? You never leave your flat.”

“We do so,” you try, but it sounds damningly defensive. You cringe before Sirius can pounce and add, “Well, we’re here now aren’t we?”

“Fair. Glad you’ve graced me with your presence, L/N,” Sirius smiles.

Just then a small toy football whizzes past Sirius’s head. 

“Oi!” he yells, turning towards the source of the projectile. “No indoor football!” Then he grins his characteristically wolfish smile. “Not before I get to pick teams! I am host after all.” He grabs you by the wrist, dragging you with him. When you begin to object, he just shushes you with, “Weren’t you just complaining about being bored?” 

James comes too, no dragging necessary. You’re surprised to find Remus, usually so responsible, in the midst of the ball game crowd. 

You raise an eyebrow at him, and he chuckles, shrugging and telling you, “It’s Sirius’s flat. Do you think we’d even be able to tell if something got damaged?” He looks around at the messy space. 

You all start what was initially some kind of football game, but it just devolves into a drunken monkey in the middle situation. 

You get stuck in the middle, for frustratingly longer than most. It’s not fair Remus is so tall, and James so athletic. When you’ve finally had enough, you jump at James when he catches the ball, wrapping your arms around him, not even going for the ball.

“Hey!” he yells as he’s laughing. “Ref! Foul!” He shakes you loose, not without a fight from you. “That’s not the game,” he chides you. He lifts the ball high, and you make the mistake of reaching for it, obviously having no chance. “Gotta try better than that.” He hasn’t stopped laughing as you jump up and down like an idiot.

“I give up,” you announce, winded but smiling slightly.

“Such a sore loser,” he teases, ruffling your hair a bit and giving you a gentle playful push. 

“Whatever,” you push him back. “I’m thirsty. You want anything?”

“I’m good. Catch up in a sec.”

“‘Kay.”

He throws the ball over your head at a ready Sirius as you weave your way to the kitchen. 

You lean on the counter, drinking some water. You look back over toward your silly boyfriend and best friends, who are still playing the game, but your view is mostly blocked by a couple of girls who are also watching the shenanigans. You don’t mean to eavesdrop, but they’re standing very close to you. 

“He’s so cute,” says one of them, a strikingly attractive girl in heels that make her a whole head taller than the other girl. 

“Why am I not surprised? You have such a specific type,” laughs her friend. 

The gorgeous girl just shrugs, owning it with no shame. 

Having witnessed your fair share of such reactions, you automatically assume they’re talking about Sirius. You just smile and roll your eyes, used to it. 

Soon the boys are over the antics too even though the game continues without them, and they come get some water as well. James stands next to you as he downs his glass. He bumps his shoulder against yours, a common gesture between you. 

The girls turn toward your group now, and the especially pretty one says, “Thanks again for inviting us, Sirius. If I’d realized it was going to get so… physical” — she emphasizes the word seductively, as she nods back to where they had just been throwing the ball — “I wouldn’t’ve worn such high heels.” She kicks her foot back a bit, as if to show the heels she’s blaming, but you don’t miss her turn into it, showing off her (amazing) body.

Sirius just grins knowingly, unfazed. 

“You could always take them off,” he suggests nonchalantly. 

She giggles and retorts, “But they look so good on me.” 

You can’t help but think it’s incredible people actually just talk to each other this way. You feel like you’re watching a movie, sure you’d never feel bold enough to say something like that unless the other person knew it was your line. You’d never been particularly good at flirting, and getting together with James since back at school, you hadn’t had the need in a long time. Even with James, though, you’d never talked like this, not back then, not now. You were glad you didn’t feel the need; everything just came naturally when it came to James. He used to make you nervous from how much you liked him, sure, but for years, you’d become completely comfortable with him. The closest you came to flirting was your quite frequent teasing, but you teased Sirius and Remus as well, and they you. 

“Aren’t you going to introduce us to your friends?” The girl’s question breaks you from your thoughts, drawing your gaze to her. Her gaze, you come to find, is not on Sirius, but on James. Directly, aggressively on James. 

Oh god. Maybe it wasn’t Sirius after all. 

“Oh, how rude of me,” Sirius says, typically theatrical. “Lads, this is Jules and…” Jules introduces her friend, but you miss her name as a group of people near you laugh loudly. “And these are my best mates, Remus, James, and Y/N,” he gestures at each of you in turn. “We go back to our school days,” he adds kind of adorably.

“Oh, how cute!” says Jules. 

Ok, not that adorably. You cringe internally at her then feel a bit guilty for disliking this girl for very little reason. Well, maybe there was a reason… but it wasn’t one you felt often.

She hasn’t stopped staring at James the whole time, and you steal a glance at him now. He’s pouring himself more water, quite unaffected. He looks at her only when she addresses him directly. 

“You were so good at… whatever you all were doing over there,” she giggles. “James. It was James, right?”

Oh please. She obviously remembered.

“Yeah,” James smiles, wiping some water that had condensed around his glass. “Thanks,” he chuckles and shrugs. “Not much competition, though,” he adds teasingly, shoving Sirius on one side of him and splashing your face with the water droplets lingering on his fingers on the other.  

“Oh don’t be mean,” she says exaggeratedly, playfully hitting his shoulder. 

You are not a fan of how angry such minimal contact makes you. 

“I thought you put up a really good fight against someone so tall and clearly athletic,” she says to you, looking back toward James at the end of her sentence. 

James just laughs lightly and, turning to you, bumping your shoulder, asks, “What do you think, shortcake? You think you put up a good fight?” His tone is all teasing. 

“You two are too cute,” says Jules. 

Weird angle for her obvious flirting, you think. 

“Is this your sister?” she asks, pointing between the two of you. 

Oh god. You are simultaneously mortified and infuriated. 

Sirius breaks out laughing, saying, “I told you I bet other people play siblings or dating with you two when we go out.”

James starts saying something, but just then, the ball from the continued game hits the counter right next to you, knocking over a bunch of water glasses and startling you all.

“Alright,” Sirius chuckles. “Maybe enough with this shit.” He grabs the ball and goes to toss it in a closet. James goest to dry his arm where it got splashed. Remus starts cleaning up the mess. A loudly apologetic bloke you don’t know comes over to help.

The slight chaos has moved the conversation away from what was just happening, and you have no idea how to clarify things without being incredibly awkward. 

His sister? What the fuck? Did this girl really not mind being a total bitch to get what she wanted or, worse, did she actually think you were siblings? Did you look like siblings to the rest of the world? Should it bother you so much if you did?

You’re reeling, and start thinking back to what could’ve given her that impression. Your stomach sinks at the realization of so much playful bumping, hair ruffling, and the like. You can’t remember kissing James once tonight. Maybe this isn’t out of the ordinary, with your slight aversion to PDA, but not once? You realize also how many of your gestures toward James you’d also done toward Sirius. How much they behaved similarly not just with you but with each other. Oh god. Were you that sisterly? 

You panic, reach for a kitchen towel, and start drying your damp boyfriend, getting way too close and speaking way too loudly when you say, “Let me help you with that, baby.” 

James is a little taken aback. You never call him baby. In fact, though his calling you pet names is common, the reverse is rare. You usually stick with “Jamie” … or some dumb teasing insult like “loser.”

“Uh, it’s fine,” he chuckles confusedly. “Wasn’t that much.” You nod and put the towel down. “You okay?” he asks. 

“Fine,” you say too quickly.

You glance toward Jules to gauge her reaction, but she’s busy also drying off, her friend having gotten the worst of it, and you’re not sure whether she heard you.

“Wanna go sit down? I’m tired,” you tell James, dragging him by the hand, which you don’t let go of even after he’s clearly following you, back to the living room. 

You pull him down to the couch, where you proceed to sit way too close to him despite there being more room on your other side and wind your arm under his as you continue to hold his hand. You kiss his cheek as he settles in. 

He’s smiling but asks, “What’s with you, love?”

“Nothing,” you say, but your voice sounds off even to you. You kiss him again, and even more confusion seeps into his smile. 

You’re trying to think of something “couple-y” to do but come up with absolutely nothing, an awkward air arising between the two of you as you squirm. You literally cannot remember the last time you felt awkward with him, and now you add feeling guilty into the mix. At your insecurities, at your jealousy, at his slight discomfort, you’re not even sure at what, but it’s awful. 

“You sure you’re alright, sweetheart? You’re all tense, and I’m pretty sure I’ve lost circulation in my hand at this point,” he chuckles. You notice your grip is vice-like. 

His tone is light, but yours is not as you snap, “I’m just holding your hand. I’m your girlfriend; that shouldn’t be weird.”

His smile fades quickly as he answers, “Uh… I didn’t say it was weird, Y/N. Just too tight?” It sounds like a question, but that’s probably just because he seems very confused overall. 

“Right. Sorry.” Your voice is much softer now as you let go of his hand. 

“It’s fine. Obviously. I just… Um…” He’s searching for what to say, wanting to comfort you but unsure what you even needed comforting from. He opts for just reaching for your hand again, straining a smile though his eyebrows remain in a confused furrow.

“You wanna go disorganize Sirius’s beloved record collection?” he asks mischievously.

“No, not really,” you say softly, not feeling like a prank right now even though you usually did. 

“Um, ok.” James looks a bit awkward. “You hungry?”

“No.” 

“Right.” A silence. “Let’s just sit here then,” he says, probably a bit more sarcastically than intended. 

“Is that so bad? Do we always have to be doing something for me to be fun?” you shoot, standing up. “Why don’t you go find Sirius or Remus, James. I’m sure it won’t even make a difference.” You turn away angrily, but he follows you up quickly and stops you. 

“Whoah, what’s up, shortcake?” he asks, eyes wide. 

“Don’t call me that. It sounds like you’re teasing your little sister.” 

You see something in his eyes at the word “sister,” but you turn and keep trying to walk away before you have time to really analyse it.  

James is following you but he has to weave between a group of people you managed to avoid, so you get to the bathroom before he catches up. He knocks a second later. 

“Y/N? Can we talk please?” You don’t say anything. “Come on, Y/N. Let me in. Or you come out.” You lean against the door but still don’t say anything. 

“I just want to know you’re okay,” he says more softly this time. 

“I’m fine,” you say, softly too. “I just need a second, okay? I’ll be out in a minute.” 

“You sure?” 

“Yeah, just give me a minute.” 

“Alright, love, but just come back quick, alright?” 

You’re not even really sure what you’re doing in here. You just need to collect yourself, you guess. You fiddle with some stuff on the sink then find yourself looking in the mirror. 

An ugly thought arises, and you hate it, trying to push it away. It comes back anyway. 

She’s much prettier than me… 

That distorted inner voice doesn’t stop there. 

And better at being a girl.

“You’re being ridiculous,” you whisper out loud to yourself. “Completely ridiculous.”

You wash your hands even though you haven’t used the toilet, shaking your head, your gaze fixed on your hands. Then you go back out into the party. 

James is across the room, talking to Remus, but staring at the door you just came out of. As soon as he sees you, he pats Remus on the shoulder, saying something quickly, and starts moving toward you. 

He’s stopped in the middle of the room by a perfectly manicured hand on his chest. It’s attached to Jules, of course, and your glare hardens. You’re too far away to hear what she says to him, her hand lingering on him. 

James shakes his head a bit at whatever she’s saying, his eyes coming back toward you quickly. He gives her a glance again and a nod then his hand comes to her shoulder. You’re eyes are glued to where they connect, and so your gaze follows the motion of James’s hand gently pushing her body aside. A moment later, it detaches as he continues walking toward you. You haven’t moved when he reaches you.

“Hey,” he says simply. 

“Hi,” you return. You look away from his face, shy and confused about what to tell him. 

His hand gently guides your chin back up, and you lose yourself in his beautiful eyes for a second. He gives you his warmest smile, and you give him a pitiful but sincere one back.

“You wanna talk about what the hell just happened?” he laughs lightly. 

“Isn’t it obvious?” you try. You’re not sure you want it to be, but you’re too embarrassed to explain and would take any option that meant you didn’t have to. 

“Actually, it wasn’t,” he chuckles. “When you got weird, I thought it was just because you didn’t want to come tonight,” he starts. “But I still didn’t understand the specific… I don’t know, kind? of weird you got.” His lips quirk into a teasing-adjacent smile here, but your face immediately contorts in embarrassment. You cover it with your hand, but James quickly removes yours with his. “Hey, hey, no, sorry. I’m sorry. It’s alright, lovely.” He caresses your hand he’s still holding. “I’m not teasing, okay?” He smiles at you, and you just keep watching him, but your face relaxes a bit. “Then,” he exhales dramatically, “Remus asked me how you reacted to that girl flirting with me right in front of you then calling you my sister.” He grimaces. 

Thank God for Remus, you think, the only emotionally aware man you’ve ever met.

“I hadn’t noticed the first part, sweetheart,” James adds. “The flirting part, I mean. I’m sorry, pretty girl. I mean, she didn’t know I had a girlfriend — clearly — but I would’ve just told her I did if that ball hadn’t hit us.”

“She was really into you,” you say before thinking, unsure where that’s supposed to take the conversation. 

“Was she? Huh.” He sounds slightly amused, but you know he’s acting to amuse you. 

“You really couldn’t tell?” you ask him. There’s disbelief in your voice, but you’re smiling a bit at him. He takes a step closer to you.

“I mean, I guess in retrospect, it makes sense,” he says honestly. “But I guess I’m out of practice,” he laughs. “And more importantly, I don’t care who’s really into me because I’m really into you, you silly girl.”

You exhale, your heart warming and most of your heavy emotions leaving you. You squeeze his hand, and shaking your head at yourself, bring it to rest on his chest. James chuckles into your hairline, kissing the top of your head and holding it close, his fingers interweaving into your hair.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, your mouth squished against him. 

You can feel him shake his head since he’s resting it on yours.

“No need,” he smiles. “I’m sorry. Was quite daft.” You laugh into his chest. You wipe away a tiny tear you’d been about to shed then rest your hand on his chest. The image reminds you, and you jolt upright, looking into his face again. He looks startled but amused. 

“What?”

“What was she saying to you? Just now?” You nod toward where they’d been talking. He laughs a full laugh. 

“She was telling me we should ditch this get together and go to her place.” He wiggles his eyebrows goofily. 

“Jamieee,” you scold, smacking his chest. He grabs hold of your hand and holds it to his heart, thumb caressing the back of it. His other hand still at the nape of your neck. 

“She was telling me,” he leans in conspiratorially, “‘sorry for not realizing your girlfriend was your girlfriend,’” he chuckles again. “I guess your little show worked afterward.”

“And what’d you say?”

“Does it matter?” It’s not harsh; he’s all warmth now. Knowing him, you realize he probably just doesn’t see the point of lingering.

“I just want to know,” you say.

“I said I didn’t care and it was fine or something.” He shrugs. “Can’t remember my exact words. Had more important things — a more important person — on my mind, to be honest.” He smiles at you. You smile back. 

“I love you,” you tell him. 

“I love you too,” he replies with a laugh as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “So much,” he adds, a bit more seriously, and kisses your forehead.

You just stand there, close to each other, your head back on his chest, his arms around you, for a few moments.

Then, leaning back to look at his face, you ask seriously, “Do you really?”

He looks confused by your question, its sincerity. “Of course I do. I adore you. You don’t know that?” His question has more than a tinge of hurt under it. 

“No,” you chuckle. But before he can get the wrong idea, you quickly continue, “Of course I know that.” You smile earnestly, and he seems comforted. “I mean, do you really not care? That she couldn’t tell I was your girlfriend?” Your voice grows softer and softer as you ask, and it’s a mere whisper by the end.

“No, sweetheart,” he smiles. “I don’t. I know. And you know. Who cares what other people think?”

“I did,” you scold yourself. “I’m sorry I got so weird. I just… I got really insecure about being just like Sirius or Remus to you. I know I’m just one of you in some ways —“

He cuts you off, “Yeah, baby, you’re one of us in some ways, but not in every way. The four of us, we have something special,” he nods. “But the two of us, we have something special too.” He tightens your embrace. “Seriously special. Yeah, we’re… what? friendly? sometimes. But, darling, you are not like Sirius or Remus to me.” He brings his hand to your face, caressing your cheek. “For starters, I don’t want to kiss Sirius or Remus, and they’re pretty good looking blokes,” he jokes. “And I don’t want to tell them about every single thing that makes me smile — just a lot of them — and about everything important in my life. I don’t need to make sure they’re happy and safe absolutely all of the time. I don’t feel warm and happy to be alive every time I look at them, and I don’t love cuddling with them at night, waking up to them in the morning. Not to even mention the other things that happen in that bed…” Now you laugh too.

“Yeah,” you nod, getting convinced.

“Yeah?” he pushes. 

“Yeah,” you say certainly. 

“Good.” 

You hum a warm assent.

“Now what do you say we ditch this get together and go back to our place?” 

You roll your eyes at him but laugh as you nod. 

“Yeah, let’s go home.” 

He’s nodding as he shifts his arm across your shoulders, kissing the top of your head and continuing to hold you close as you walk toward Sirius and Remus to say goodbye. 

“Leaving already?” Sirius complains, teasing you about being antisocial and lame. 

“Sorry, mate, but I really want to cuddle up with my girlfriend right now, and this doesn’t seem like the best place for that.”

“Ugh, so cheesy, Prongs. Just leave already,” he says, feigning disgust and pushing James away. 

“Good night, gorgeous,” Sirius tells you, kissing your cheek carelessly like he’s done a million times. Similar words, similar gestures, yes, you think, but they don’t feel the same at all. You smile.

“Good night, Siri,” you say. You and James hug Remus too. 

James puts his arm back around you as you go to leave. You smile up at him, then, mischief in your eyes, you push him away and walk faster. 

“You’re all sweaty, Potter. Gross.” He laughs and play chases you all the way out the door. 

Once you’re on the other side of it, enveloped by the welcoming quiet privacy of the night, he catches up to you and pulls you to him. You resist for only a moment, your laughter intermingling with his, then you melt into his embrace.

“C’mere, gorgeous,” James huffs, kissing you ardently. “Can’t wait to get home with you,” he whispers before kissing you again.

[sirfrogsworth]

i figure you're probably getting a lot of angry and hurtful messages and comments about your empathy for evil people post, so i just wanted to say i really admire your integrity. it's hard to feel that way towards these people, but i think you're right. it doesn't excuse their actions but it does help us understand them, which can help us fight them while also identifying and not giving in to our own evil impulses. i also admire how you've responded to these comments, by treating them with empathy and gentleness too. it's clear you've treated empathy like a discipline, and i truly respect that.

i just wanted to send you some support. you're not alone in this corner, and i think it is important work. not for everyone to deal with directly, but you're good at it, and i'm glad you're challenging others to try

I appreciate that. Thank you. And thank you to all the others who have expressed the same sentiment.

Honestly the reception has been mostly positive. And a lot of great conversations are happening in the notes of that post. And I'm seeing a lot of additions that have helped me clarify and understand what I'm feeling. So overall I'm glad I vented those thoughts out in the middle of the night when I was tired and not concentrating well. Those foggy thoughts turned into something positive.

The negative stuff is always louder. And I wish I had a way to focus on the good in proportion to the bad. But the hurtful things just stick with me a lot more. Personally I deal with it by responding and hoping some of my words are absorbed. It is a technique that has helped me find closure throughout the years. Some prefer to block. Some prefer to ignore. But I need to respond at least once and attempt to find an understanding and rebut the things I disagree with. I have changed a few minds over the years. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen.

And, in this case, we are essentially on the same side. So I don't feel like I'm talking to a wall like with MAGA folks.

One thing I never used to do was tell people they hurt me. I would act like it all bounced off me. But I just don't have the energy or will to pretend anymore. So I now let people know upfront. I say, "This hurt me. Your words caused me harm." And I think with my normal civil responses that I've been doing for years, that little change has helped me process the hurt and move on much faster.

I also recognize how scared people are. And I get the feeling a lot of these folks are much younger than me. And a lot of them are queer. Society made it seem like that was more okay than ever. And a lot of people decided to be themselves very publicly and it seemed safe. It seemed like progress had been made.

And that progress undid itself very quickly.

And now this thing that felt so freeing feels like they unknowingly put a giant fucking target on themselves.

Anger, fear, anxiety... I recognize it in the people giving me a hard time. I disagree with them about empathy and humanization. But I understand how they probably got to that mindset. I have similar thoughts when I am at the height of fear and anger. And that's where my empathy helps temper them.

Their first instinct is always to dig in and double down. I know it takes a lot of willpower to resist that initial instinct. I've had years of practice resisting that. But I know how hard it used to be to admit I was wrong and change my perspective.

But I do hope my words and the words of all of the people contributing amazing thoughts to that post will get through eventually. I ask that people give them a little grace in the hopes that may happen.

[magicbeings]

How I added "instant translation" to the non-english text on my fic: a very easy 3 step guide

Hello!

I recently posted a Wolfstar fanfic called Instance of Happenstance and received a lot of compliments on a small piece of code I used. Both @marigold-hills and @leavesthatarebrown suggested I share how I did it, so here I am, finally explaining it in a Tumblr post!

Before diving into the details, I want to clarify that I didn't write this code myself.

Initially, I tried following this tutorial, but I stumbled upon a better solution in the comments of that post. The code on the tutorial itself does work, but a) it's harder to use and b) it doesn't work as well if you're planing to have multiple paragraphs that you need to show the translation on the same fic.

The solution someone presented on the comments, however, is very simple and easy to use for as many paragraphs as you need, but the explanation there wasn’t too clear, so I decided to expand on it to make it easier for others to implement.

All credit to Ao3 users La_Temperaza (who wrote the orginal post) and Nikkie2571 (who posted this code on the comments).

What Does This Code Do?

This code adds an interactive feature to your fanfic, allowing readers to hover over a specific paragraph (or tap on it if they’re on mobile) to instantly change the text to something else — also set by you.

While this can be used for various purposes, I think it's particularly useful to display instant translations of non-English dialogue/text directly in the story. The code offers a much smoother alternative to the clunky “see end notes for translation” thing—which, let's be honest, can be a pain for readers, especially in long chapters.

For example, in instance of happenstance, Sirius discovers an old journal written entirely in French. I wanted to maintain the sense of mystery and intrigue that would be lost if I simply said the journal was in French, but wrote the text in English.

This solution let me keep the best of both worlds—retaining the authenticity and the immersion of the French, while still making the story easy to follow for the readers.

Now, I know this sounds complicated, but I assure you, it's not!

Down bellow is a quick, 3 steps tutorial on how to do it. I hope this is helpful! (:

(I'm doing this on the computer, if you're doing it on mobile, the layout of the website might be different from my printscreens)

Step 1 - Create The Work Skin

I'm gonna go right to the point here, but if you want to know about Work Skins in detail, I suggest this Ao3 Article.

On your Ao3 Dashboard, click on the fourth link on the sidebar, which is "Skins".

Then, on the page that opens up, click on "My Work Skins"

Then, on the top of the page, select "Create Work Skin"

Now, you'll see the form to create your skin, which looks like this:

Leave the "Type" as "Work Skin". On the Title, you can give any name you want to your skin, but I suggest you choose the same title as your fic or something like "instant translation", so you'll know what it's about later.

You don't have to worry about any of the other fields, except for the CSS one, where you should copy and paste exactly what I'll put bellow:

#workskin .change_on_hover:not(:hover) .on, #workskin .change_on_hover:hover .off { display: none; }

So, now, you'll have something like this...

... and you just have to click "save" on the bottom of the page, and this step is done.

Step 2 - Apply the Skin you created to your fic

For a new work, click on "New Work" as usual. If it's a fic you're already posting, you can add this as well, just click the "Edit" button.

Now, on the form of your fic, on the "Associations" tab, right under the menu where you select the language of your fic, you'll see a "select a work skin" option.

On this field, you should select the workskin you just created on the previous step, searching by the name you gave it on the "Title" field.

Step 3 - Insert the text

The code we're gonna use is this one:

<p class="change_on_hover"> <span class="off"> paragraph in foreing language </span> <span class="on"> paragraph in english </span> </p>

If you have no idea what this means, hold my hand, we're gonna get through it together!

First, copy your fic’s text into the AO3 text box as you normally would. Then, switch the text box to HTML mode so you can see the underlying code.

Now, scroll down until you find the paragraph you want to translate. After pasting, it will likely look something like this:

Note how each paragraph in HTML starts with <p> and ends with </p>. These tags indicate where a paragraph begins and ends.

Our goal is to modify that first <p> tag so it tells the browser, “Hey, this paragraph is different from those other ones. It should change when hovered over or clicked.”

To do this, we’ll change <p> to <p class="change_on_hover">. This marks the paragraph as special—one that should switch text when interacted with.

Now note how instead of having a single paragraph, we need two versions of the text:

In blue, the original (non-English) text, which will be shown by default.

In red, the translated (English) text, which will appear when the reader hovers over or clicks on it.

For the original text, wrap it inside a <span class="off"> tag, ending with </span> like this:

<span class="off"> insert here the whole text of the paragraph in the foreign language </span>

For the translated text, wrap it inside a <span class="on"> tag, also ending with </span>. This will replace the original text when hovered over or clicked:

<span class="off"> insert here the whole text of the paragraph in english </span>

And don't forget to end the whole thing again with </p>

Again, here's how it looks on my fic:

With the paragraphs that come before and after the translated text, just leave them as they are. They should still start with <p> and end with </p>. No changes needed!

You can use this method for as many paragraphs as you want, whether in the same chapter or across different chapters. As long as the Work Skin is active, the effect will work seamlessly throughout your fic.

[delimeful]

Really? You don’t find passive aggressive comments, such as your tags, do be impolite?

And how, exactly, is an ask button (which YOU enabled) that is commonly known to be used for requesting stories on Tumblr from writing pages impolite? Are you new to writing Tumblr? What do you think a majority of writers on Tumblr use that ask button for?

I’ve been a follower for a while but I’m pretty dissapointed tbh.

Anonymous asked: I noticed a reply from @/gstash So let me address that as well. No, of course I don’t expect everything immediately and for free, and I initially requested this story over a year ago. I also spent over $50 being subscribed to Lime’s Patreon specifically for this story, but I had to stop due to low finances. I was just trying to check on when it may be up soon, but I felt the response was rather rude.

(the added slash is mine, i didn't want to inadvertently @ anyone else in this debacle lol)

this is gonna be my final word on the matter because im sick of getting home from work to asks like these. anything else is gonna be deleted. feel free to go ahead and use your actual blog to reply instead of anon if you still feel that strongly about it.

i dont think my tags weren't passive aggressive they were just plain statements. no, i don't think it's impolite to express a boundary irt people asking me for updates. your indignation about this reflects on you, not me.

to clarify, badgering me for updates (verbatim: "Could you please please please post chapter 7") isn't impolite, just irritating. it was the decision to send another ask chiding me for my response that was impolite. kind of a dick move, as most involved in the tumblr writing community know. i genuinely feel sorry for the writers you follow if you genuinely only see their ask boxes as an opportunity to pester them.

i'm disappointed too, anon. i hoped that maybe keeping calm and sincerely explaining myself would be enough to prompt you to respond with empathy in kind, but instead you doubled down.

it seems like there's been a misunderstanding in regards to my patreon; there is no tier that ensures a specific chapter of a fic is updated within a specific time frame. that would be a commission, which is explicitly listed as a reward for my $30 tier, because those take a lot more time + energy for me.

my $12 patreon tier offers early access to my writing, and the ability to request future chapters be moved up on my to-do list, through polls + priority continuation requests. i can't guarantee any specific chapter update in a month, and i'll explain why.

currently, i have over 50 total WIP fics being worked on. each month, i get around 25 chapter update requests. even assuming that each chapter is 2k, my usual minimum chapter length, i would have to write 50,000 words every single month. if i had the capability for that kind of regular output, i would be churning out books like stephen king instead of constantly struggling for my usual monthly 10-15k like a chump lol.

in essence, don't subscribe to my patreon for a specific story unless you know the next chapter for it is already up there. which it is, because i eventually got to your request. and it'll eventually be up on the blog for free. and during the months you spent subscribed to my patreon, you received at minimum tens of thousands of words of content.

finally, an earnest request: please stop acting like twelve dollars is an exorbitant fee when i'm literally making pennies per word written. like, i could have worked a single 8 hour shift at mcdonalds in texas for minimum wage instead and i would have ended up with $8 more than you paid me for four months of many hours of dedicated work.

(not even a joke: 7.25 x 8 = 58.)

in conclusion, i am a human person with feelings, just like every other writer on this site. please take a moment to remember that when sending asks in the future

[anonzentimes]

Hi, Zen!

I've recently been searching for and listening to Super Dangan Radio, the internet radio show Spike Chunsoft aired from July to December 2012 to promote DR2. In the 8th episode, I found an interesting comment that Megumi Ogata made about Komaeda, so I wanted to share it with you.

At the beginning of each episode, there’s a segment where Ogata reads messages from listeners. One listener, who had completed Super Danganronpa 2 and was on a second playthrough, wrote: “Komaeda-kun's actions, which seemed mysterious and unpredictable at first, clearly conveyed his unwavering beliefs on my second playthrough. (ミステリアスで先が読めない行動ばかりに思えた狛枝くんの振る舞いも2周目だと一貫した彼の信念がビシバシ伝わってきました)” Ogata responded, “Thank you for understanding. He’s not just any yandere, you see. Haha. (おわかりいただいてありがとうございます。ただのヤンデレじゃありません。はい。あはは。)"

This comment surprised me because neither the listener nor anyone else mentioned the term yandere, yet Ogata brought it up herself to say that Komaeda isn’t one. I wondered if she had seen people referring to Komaeda as a yandere elsewhere, like on Twitter, and felt this was a misunderstanding. Hearing her say this helped me connect the dots. In the Ultra Despair Girls art book, Ogata remarked about Servant, “I was especially careful at the beginning of the recording because he is often misunderstood, and I myself establish his character on the edge of a delicate line. (勘違いされがちであり、私自身も微妙なギリギリのライン上で成立させているキャラクターなので、収録の冒頭、とくに丁寧に臨みました。)” I initially wondered what she meant by “misunderstanding,” but her radio comment clarified that it’s probably the assumption that Komaeda is a yandere that she sees as mistaken.

When I realized this, I thought I should tell you about it because I remembered you mentioning that you didn't think Nagito was a yandere, so I thought Ogata's comment about it was significant.

If you or anyone else would like to hear her comment, you can find the listener’s message around 02:21 in the following video, and Ogata’s response at about 02:48: https://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm25784808

Some episodes of Dangan Radio are available as CDs, but this one isn’t, so it can only be heard on recordings still available online 😢. She speaks pretty fast, so it might be hard to catch all her words, but I thought it might be helpful to hear how she expressed it, so I’m sharing it just in case.

I myself don’t see Nagito as a yandere, and while this might not be anything new, I thought you’d find it interesting that Ogata commented on it this way. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this little find—let me know what you think! Have a great day!

Thank you so much! I really appreciate you Asaka and I adore you sharing with me a find that I could never find myself due to the language barrier. From what I’ve seen Megumi Ogata has a very clear interpretation of who Nagito Komaeda is that feels very accurate and she’s passionate about it which adds to her voice acting for me. I’m glad to see that I’ve expressed something that is similar to her as I view her as someone who deeply understands the character.

The listener’s statement reminds me of one I’ve made myself that I usually return to when describing Komaeda, “Komaeda is like a language, at first you struggle to read it, but once you learn it’s all that you can see and you can never go back.” I think it perfectly encapsulates how on a first playthrough he may seem confusing, but on a second playthrough when you understand him you can see his words and understand what he means and feels better than anyone who was playing for the first time.

Thank you again for sharing! 💖

[inuhalfdemon]

No One Can Know... (4/?)

Word Count: 2,270

Chapter 4

"Meet me on your best behavior, meet me at your worst…" - Death Cab for Cutie

Wondering who-the-fuck-in-Hell would be there knocking this late at night; Lucifer opened his door. Seeing that it was, in fact, Alastor standing at his threshold with a seemingly pleasant smile across his face; Lucifer immediately bristled.

“What in fuck’s – wait. Is that wine?” Lucifer peered behind Alastor’s waist; seeing his separated shadow clasping a large bottle of Riesling and a pair of wine glasses.

“Yes. I thought it might pair well with our…discussions. May I?” Alastor asked him, politely.

“…yeah, ok.” Lucifer stepped aside; letting him in.

Alastor stepped inside; his shadow following close behind. The shadow paused briefly beside Lucifer; offering him the bottle. Lucifer took it, and the shadow swept further inward to be closer to Alastor. Looking at the label; Lucifer closed the door.

“Where in Hell did you get this!?”

“I don’t just deal in souls; your grace.” Alastor told him. “And I’m rather partial to a rare vintage every now and again. This one has been made ready for us to enjoy.”

“No shit. Damn.” Lucifer led him to a small suite; directing him and his shadow to some plush chairs and an ornate table for them to recline by. There were less rubber ducks and circus trinkets scattered throughout here than were piled in his work-room. Alastor didn’t seem to pay much attention to the surrounding room though; his gaze never straying across items, walls, furniture, etc. He was very focused on his business here.

Alastor’s shadow; taking the bottle from Lucifer – opened it and began pouring wine into the two glasses. Alastor and Lucifer both sat down. Lucifer reached across for his wine glass; then leaning back he asked:

“So…what the fuck do you want to talk about?”

“I’m sure you are well aware of the subject matter that I wish to address with you tonight.” Alastor said; taking his own glass from the table and gently swirling the liquid. His shadow excused itself into a dark corner nearby.

“Hm…how forthright of you. You seem to be in a more…agreeable…mood tonight than you were yesterday.”

“The extermination is merely a couple months away…I had hoped that I might avoid having to address my…“rut” until sometime after, but I’m afraid that won’t be the case.” Alastor explained. “I’d like to discuss the best…approach to the problem; if you are so inclined.”

“Uh, huh.” Lucifer said dismissively. “So, what exactly are we discussing then?”

“I’m afraid that the effects of the cycle will greatly influence my duties in safeguarding Charlie and the hotel. During that time, I won’t be getting much sleep and –“

“Do you actually sleep?” Lucifer interrupted, prodding him.

“Yes.” Alastor answered him honestly. “Maybe not as much as most but I do require a reasonable amount.”    

 “I must have really taken the wind out of your sails.” Lucifer tipped his glass to his lips. “I didn’t anticipate you coming here and being so candid with me.”

“Yes, well, I can admit when I’ve made an ass of myself.” Alastor allowed.

Knowing this was as close to an apology as he was liable to get; Lucifer stated: “Well, I won’t say that I’m sorry. If anything, I think I should have gutted you sooner.”

Lucifer waited for Alastor to make a quip at that but then; he said nothing. Instead, he raised his own glass to sip from – offering no comment.

Interesting.

“Ok, so I assume you are wanting to formulate some plan going forward, is that it?” Lucifer clarified.

“Indeed. Initially, I preferred the idea of you safely displacing me from the hotel until I cycled out but, the timing is not ideal. There’s too much to be done and I don’t like the idea of leaving the hotel unguarded for any extended length of time.”

“Ah, lock you away in a tower just like you’re Rapunzel and I’m the dragon.” Lucifer japed; unable to help himself.

“I don’t recall a dragon in that particular fairy tale.” Alastor remarked.

Lucifer nearly choked on his wine. “The fuck do you know about fairy tales!?”

Alastor shrugged then waved him off; “Essentially…I suppose, but it’s not a good solution; not now.”

“Oh?” Lucifer absently traced a sharp claw around the rim of his wine glass. “How long do these things usually last for you, anyway?”

“You are somewhat familiar with Cervidae demons, yes? You’ve commented on it once before. We are commonly known for our deer-like tendencies. One very prominent one being that we experience fluctuating periods of cyclic mating periods or “the rut”. There’s a lot that gets rather muddled with it though; it’s confusing even for us demons that experience it because each and every individual is different in the timing, frequency or intensity of their own personal mating cycles.”

“Sounds frustrating.” Lucifer offered.

“It…is. I never know when a rut will happen or for how long. I can usually tell when one is approaching due to certain…changes. Even now though; I know one is coming I just don’t know when. I could start the cycle tomorrow or in a couple of weeks; it’s terribly inconvenient. Judging by personal experience; my cycles range anywhere from part of a day to several weeks. Unfortunately; avoidance is what lengthens the period. If I…sate, the need and rather quickly, the period tends to be much less.”

“So what if I contact Asmodeus? I’m sure we could find you some willing participant from the lust ring to fulfill whatever needs you need satiating.” Lucifer suggested. “He might even have another Cervidae in mind.”

Alastor shook his head. “I’m not comfortable with that. I assume when you offered and agreed to our deal that it was implied that you would be the actual one to…manage this. I’m afraid now it might have to be quite literal. Lilith wasn’t wrong in saying that I’ve killed other demons during my rutting. After your explicit demonstration yesterday; I am confident you would be well equipped in governing my actions.”

 “Honestly, I meant it in whatever way you wish to take it. I’m no prude.” Lucifer shrugged; tipping his glass. “While we’re on the subject though; I’d really like to know –“

“If you are referring to my moment of sexual homicidal infamy; I’d rather not discuss it.”

Lucifer very much wanted to prod more into it; but, he could see that Alastor was making a great effort here in being professionally courteous. Which led him to his next question;

“So, what exactly is your deal with all of this?” Lucifer asked him; setting his wine glass down now. “You’re here pitching off your plans to me like we’re discussing something terribly unpleasant. I get that you might think sex is beneath you; or rather you’d prefer you didn’t need it but, c’mon…if you have to go through it anyway, why not own it and enjoy it?”

“You misunderstand. It’s not my perception of sex that has anything to do with it.” Alastor told him. “I simply don’t…care for it.”

“What?”

“Apart from when I am in rut; it holds no interest to me.”   

“None? Whatsoever, just….nothing?” Lucifer gaped at him.

“Truly.”

“So, you just can’t get it up unless you are in one of your rut thingy’s?” Lucifer was trying to make sense of this.  

“Not exactly…” Alastor huffed. “With enough effort; stimulation and finding the right mindset – sure…but, it doesn’t just happen. It’s really and truly something I don’t care to think about or pursue, otherwise.”

“I can’t…I can’t wrap my head around that. I mean I-I could fuck anything that moves. Not that I really would but, well…you know.” Lucifer shrugged.

“No…actually, I don’t.” Alastor reaffirmed.

“So, do you – do you like know what you want to actually like…do?” Lucifer asked him.

“How do you mean?” Alastor’s ears slightly leant back; whether it was him being uncomfortable by the question or a display of true confusion; Lucifer couldn’t tell.

“Mutual masturbation? Oral? Anal? What have you?” Lucifer threw out.

Alastor’s ears stiffened; pressing further back. Definitely discomfort.   

“When I’m in in rut; I’m sure anything and everything will be open and on the table.” He sighed.

“So do you like, turn into an even bigger asshole when your rutting?”

“No, not quite…that more tends to happen to the time leading up to it.” Alastor was telling him; briefly remembering his friend Rosie dismissing him from a brunch they were having in Cannibal Town once telling him: “come back after your damn rut; honestly, you’re worse than a woman!” He couldn’t remember details; only that he was terribly aggravating to her that day.

Meanwhile; Lucifer was waging an internal battle. So, you were PMS-ing yesterday? He very badly wanted to say it…he very nearly did, but he reigned it in; feeling it prudent to continue with the good footing they had established here.

“It’s more that I’m…” Alastor was continuing with his answer. “I’m just – Well, I can be a lot in those moments.”

The Radio Demon promises a good time… Lucifer thought, then he asked:

“Ok, so circling back. When or where are we going to…hash this all out?”

“I’m naturally crepuscular; and I’m generally more nocturnal in my activities. I can easily manage myself during the day. If we spend too much time at the hotel; even in my radio tower – we run the risk of being found out or discovered. If I spend too much time here or elsewhere; it leaves the hotel vulnerable. I propose we go back and forth; it won’t be so different to my normal activities – no one would think to question it at this point – and I have Niffty and Husker established so that if anything were to happen while I’m away; I’d know and can be there almost immediately.”

“Hm…yes, that might be wise. We can always tell Charlie that you and I buried the hatchet, as it were, and are meeting to discuss ideas with how best to proceed with the upcoming exterminations. She’ll wish to be included – of course – but if I tell her it’s something you and I are bonding or getting to know each other over; she’ll let it be.”   

“How…very manipulative of you.” Alastor commented; ears perking up. He was…impressed.

“Yes, well…” Lucifer reached back for his wine; lost for a moment in his thoughts. Then leaning back in his chair again; he offered:

“You’ve been very…frank with everything tonight. Do you have any questions you wish to ask me?”

“This meeting Charlie has with Heaven…do you think it will accomplish anything?” Alastor had in fact; been holding onto some questions.

“No.” Lucifer told him bluntly. “I don’t but, Lilith foresaw Charlie asking me to arrange it. I’m not…comfortable with it but Lilith will be there – Charlie won’t know that, of course – but it’s the only reason why I’d allow my daughter to go up there without my being there with her.”

“Do you think Lilith will succeed with her plans?” Alastor asked him, wanting to know. “Do you think that she can actually overthrow Heaven?”  

“If anyone; it would be her.” Lucifer finished off his glass; Alastor’s shadow quickly slid out from the corner to refill it for him. Lucifer nodded to it, taking a sip as it shifted itself back away. “She’s been planning this for some time now, making sure everything falls into just the right place at just the right time. The only hiccup we’ve ran into was you slipping yourself between the cracks but maybe that was fortunate for us – it remains to be seen.” He gave Alastor a hard look.

“If I get what I want from this, I’ll be as beneficial to your cause as I possibly can.” Alastor told him. “But, why are you choosing to do this? Weren’t you amiable toward Heaven; even after everything?”

Lucifer sighed. “Lilith has been with me through all of it…since the beginning. I’ve tried to make the amends to my mistakes; tried to make Heaven see that what we did…it wasn’t for the intentions that they thought. I’ve been fighting a losing battle for thousands upon thousands of years��Lilith stood by me; supported me all that time. Now, it’s time I stood by hers. We got nowhere with my plans and ideas for our future; so it’s time I supported hers.”

“How disgustingly devoted of you.” Alastor made a face and movement of his tongue; like he had actually tasted something terrible.

Lucifer laughed. “That’s just who we are. We depend and rely on each other.”

“So…she really has no issues with…this? What you and I are going to be doing?” Alastor asked him; wondering. “Call me ‘old fashioned’; but I’d hate to come between a man and his wife.”

“Lilith never would have agreed to it if she had reservations.” Lucifer told him. “She wasn’t lying when she told you that our relationship has been…unconventional, at times.”

“Hm…” Alastor remembered his wine and sipped from the glass.

“How long has it been for you anyway?” Lucifer asked him. “I’ll be coming out of a bit of dry spell myself; Lilith tends to get focused on other things when they’ve claimed her interest and I haven’t found much motivation in seeking out an outlet.”

“Years?” Alastor though. “Very nearly a decade, maybe.”

“Fuck.” Lucifer blurted. “You’ve got me beat then. You weren’t kidding when you said these mating cycles of yours were unpredictable.”

“Also part of the reason that I’m relying on you…specifically. I’m not sure just how…enthusiastic I might be.”

“Oh, don’t worry – my King.” Alastor fixed him with a sharp gaze. “You will know.”

“So, how will I know that you are in rut?” Lucifer questioned him.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scene inspired by: @applepartysins fanart/comic here

Chapter 5

[cursorcomets]

Re: The discourse

I really don’t want to speak over anybody, I just want clarification and believe discourse is necessary for justified understanding.

I am very confused with a lot of the discourse i’ve seen today, and this confusion itched curiosity which became answers which then lead to further confusion.

Firstly, I have nothing but sympathy for anybody unable to bridge their connection with dan and phil through their tour. It makes me so upset knowing there’s so many people (knowingly the largest areas of fans), unable to see them in person because of external factors, outside of their controls. My sympathy is shared with my privilege in my other hand.

If we act in good faith, we also understand this is also very upsetting to dan and phil, from what they have said regarding the unjustified barriers they’ve tried to get past. They want to meet their fans, we know this from the generosity they extend to these issues, even ones out of their control. If that means hosting the equivalency of two meet and greets in one day due to ticket mishap, or their willingness to sacrifice their own discomfort for the sake of transparent fairness. It would be questionable to claim they do not genuinely care about their supporters, and when able, demonstrate that to the extent possible.

Obviously they cannot and should not go without criticism. They have, and will make mistakes, holding them to their mistakes is also important, and their responses to most of community concerns demonstrates it matters to them as well. They don’t want to upset or offend us. I believe they value our opinion, hold our viewpoints very high and want to set some kind of example of these beliefs. Could they do more? of course. At the end of the day, it breaks my heart to acknowledge, they are middle aged white men from England.

I also think it’s so important to acknowledge the raw realities they have shared with us, being their humanness, authenticity and vulnerability they have given us access to for 15 years. In the face of the mass scale personal intrusion they have sacrificed for our benefit, we have to acknowledge they are at their core deeply human. This point sounds cliche but i fear the desensitising of it only causes harm.

As dan said in his most recent reply, “to some extent i think i should be allowed grace to process being told my existence is not welcome.”

He further goes onto explain the importance of being sensitive with his platform. This is what i feel is at the core of this discourse.

There is so much nuance within discussing the careful line between expression of his lived experience, and minimising the extent of these vocal frustrations against his responsibility as a lighting rod of hope for so many.

His original reply which initiated the discourse, in relation to touring in asia, “we tried but the governments said no homo”.

Although later clarified is true, caused a lot of upset to many people. I am in no place to invalidate those feelings, and do not mean too. Those directly affected by this comment are more than entitled to feel this way. I do not want to touch that issue, my confusion comes from issues that exist outside of the topic specifically.

More so, the power of assumption and trust. I acknowledge it may be easier for me to detach and adjudicate situations from the outside of an issue due to privilege. I have tried to consume most of the opinions from those at the core of the issue. It seemed there was an assumption this statement of his was decidedly the single and final statement regarding asian tour dates. If that was true, it would be deeply unprofessional and disloyal to those fans affected. His statement now reads as truth masked through frustrated tone in response to hurt at the expense of himself and asian fans. As he since explained further, this sentiment is correct. Where my confusion lies, is the immediate jump to action, the accusatory labels and immediate conclusion his intent was malicious, consciously or not. I do get it, we should not carelessly trust people we only know parasocially. His statement was no more embellished than the acknowledgment of a massive factor to his answer to the initial question. The tone of his reply is where we have to apply nuance to the real life implications. The reality is, they were subjected to censoring on the basis of their sexuality. This does not take away from the lived experience of lgbt people in those countries. He acknowledged and apologised for not clarifying sooner, however the discourse of the initial reply is swallowing the larger sentiment, this is deeply upsetting to both dnp and those missing out on the tour. To find malice in his personal processing of discrimination, when his initial statement at its core was coping at his own expense doesn’t make sense to me with these points applied.

I do not disagree with sentiments expressed by those affected by this, or saying that there is absolutely no reason for any critique. I want to listen, I want to support those affected, but i want to do this with total comprehension and understanding. I can’t thoughtlessly defend something without reason. I also take umbridge with SOME people weaponising their ignorance or purposeful incompetence to be bullies, whether to defend dan or attack him. It’s incredibly translucent the people that jump to the occasion in bad faith, taking away significance from actual well intended intelligent opinions. If you’re using this as an opportunity to be racist or regina george, you don’t care about the crusade your fighting, you are simply miserable.

If anyone disagrees or thinks im missing something please let me know! Im more than happy to have a conversation, its not your responsibility to educate me but Im more than happy to listen! Please be no meaner than justified haha.

Peace & Love,

Aimee

[penguinlife]

You know, there won't be any awards handed out for those who spotted the fake relationships and stayed. Who stayed true to Lukola and the love they shared. I see so many people declaring proudly they are staying on the ship. They are waiting to see this amazing connection flourish into a fearless celeb couple that can't be stopped. We all saw what we saw and know that their feelings are true.

The truth is, they don't want to be shipped irl. They have made it clear. This whole charade is to distance themselves from each other. What the reason is, fuck knows.

I think Nicola told Jake sometime ago that if she gets nominated for a BAFTA, she would take him along. His IG story where he declared, "BAFTA baby" makes sense now. It seemed odd to me at the time. He wasn't saying congrats, Nicola. He was celebrating in the same way as one would an upcoming trip to Las Vegas, "Vegas baby".

I don't for a second believe that they are a couple. I find it hilarious that people are celebrating her look at him and comparing it to her, and Luke's love eyes glances on the WT. If you look at the clip of that moment, he says something (lipreaders, please clarify), and she then looks at him, and he looks back. It is a normal way of conversation.

I also find it funny that we gave Luke so much flack for not providing a stylist to the bug dancer, but here Nicola has done just that and suffered a outfit mishap. No matter what I think of Jake joining her tonight it doesn't affect my opinion on her dress. It is fucking ugly, so unflattering. What, is she trying to be a peacock? Role reversal? Just a hard No for me.

I am sad that her bad judgement is overshadowing her accomplishments.

I don't like that she is fueling the flames in the relationship discourse with Jake. It makes her seem deceitful.

For someone whose word and reputation is just as valuable as her career, it is a shame she is participating in this lie.

Next to Luke, she looks confident, beautiful, elegant, and simply put, happy. Next to Jake, she looks old and out of place, awkward and simply put, sad. This is my observation. Like a stranded puzzle piece that ended up in the wrong box.

In an alternative universe, Nicola and Luke started dating at the end of S3 shoot. They proudly supported each other publically. The fans initially were elated. But the fanfare faded. They got married and maybe already had a kid by now. Their careers exploded. But that is in that universe. In this one, we are left wanting, hoping and ultimately disapoinented.

I would comment on Jake's outfit for tonight, but I don't care enough about it. They managed to elevate him to a point where we started liking him. But after tonight, I don't think I would even care to remember his name once Nicola finally distances herself from him. You overshot the landing. There is no turning back.

[doumadono]

you're a fucking bitch for not accepting emergency requests during christmas time. selfish cunt. I hope you rot in hell, fucking pig

Initially, I had half a mind to ignore this message, you know, let it drift into the abyss of unread notifications. But then, on the flip side, I figured it might be worth my precious time to drop a line or two and enlighten you on a couple of things.

About six months ago, I graciously introduced emergency requests as a feature on my blog. Since then, I've effortlessly tackled nearly 80 emergency requests, rejecting just one which contained explicit content. I'm consistently available when others need to let off steam, doing my utmost to lend a listening ear and offer advice.

You see, I'm practically donating my personal time to craft these requests and provide a dash of solace to those desperately in need of it. I want to clarify that my availability to fulfill requests may be limited during certain times, including holidays, due to personal commitments or high demand.

Listen up, you self-righteous hypocrite. Calling me names just because I need a bit of time for myself? That's some next-level hypocrisy right there :) Thanks to folks like you, I'm seriously contemplating shutting down emergency requests as the new year kicks in.

In case you haven't noticed, I've got a truckload on my plate. I'm waging a freaking war against leukemia, juggling the responsibilities of raising kids, and still, I manage to get back to work to help my patients going through awful situations. And what do I get in return? Your snide remarks? Bitch please.

I usually brush off stupid comments, but your words hit a nerve today. I bust my ass to aid others, often when I'm feeling worse than low. Am I being selfish now? Damn right I am. But who can blame me?

As for those emergency requests, who the heck knows? The decision will be made by the end of the year. Right now, I'm feeling lower than low, and I don't have the time or patience to deal with this crap. So, do me a favor and save your judgment for someone who gives a damn. If you're feeling a bit Grinchy, maybe a cup of cocoa or some jolly tunes will do the trick.

[tony-stark-official]

I answered an ask yesterday about CA:BNW that I've been informed came across as condescending, disingenuous, and racist.

I'd like to apologize for that post. I realize now I shouldn't have shared my opinion at all, seeing as I don't have the personal experience or standpoint to have one, and my wording when it comes to the quality of the movie came across as targeting. My initial comment on the quality was directed at my opinions on Marvel film quality as of late, not this movie specifically, or in the context of the characters. I'm very sorry to those that this post offended, and for making it in the first place. I hope that this clarifies some things.

My intention was to share why I thought the movie was impactful in and of itself, not to say that it was only impactful or important to black kids. It was not to say the movie was bad, but to share my opinion on the message rather than the cinematic quality. It was not to imply that my opinion was an end-all-be-all, but to state why I felt that the film has relevance. I'm very sorry for what I said and how I said it.

A screenshot of the original ask is under the cut.

[narrowsgate]

🏳️‍⚧️ Update on Narrowsgate 🏳️‍⚧️

This will be the final post on this blog, but stay tuned for Narrowsgate's next venture!

--

[ The following contains some [tw]s for trans exclusionary stuff. ]

Happy belated TDoV, all.

We, the founders of Narrowsgate and its original staff, would like to finally issue this post to update members - current, former, prospective, and past - on some stuff that went down over the last week or so.

Some quick, up-front things:

The original NG staff has restored access to the root admin account, per Jcink's rules.

All existing members with accounts will retain access to the site and to their work. We have no intent to block access to or to delete ANY member writing from the site; though we have closed registration, for the time being, so we can re-group.

We are working on a path forward to rebuild our community and our site. Stay tuned.

The former admin has been refunded their Premium payments by Jcink.

Some people will assume that one of the former admins, one of the people we "left" the site to, who was also actively attacked in the catalyst conversation and then blamed for being attacked and who has unfairly been called a "mouthpiece" for us just because we are friends (which is frankly super super gross?), are involved with this choice. Let it be very clear they have nothing to do with this. They have been treated horribly by several members as well as by one of the other admins. I truly hope they receive a deluge of apologies; they deserve it.

I will not be posting screenshots nor naming names directly at this time - I'm not interested in internet mud-slinging, but I am interested in protecting myself and other trans people, and I am interested in combating the kind of ignorance that contributes to crypto-TERFism.

Finally, the main thesis behind this is simply this: ya don't get to treat trans people like shit and then benefit from our work.

To see the resources I intended to post on the origin NG Discord server, go ahead and check out this page.

Okay, so, the TL;DR –

On Trans Day of Visibility (of all days! :p), we, the original creators of Narrowsgate - both trans - were silently banned from the Discord server for being part of a group that spoke up against not just one, but many, many cissexist/gender essentialist/TERFy comments and actions that hurt us, our community, and our friends, and were responded to in ways like the quoted reply above.

Below the line are further details as well as the statement I initially prepared for the members of Narrowsgate before my opportunity to share it was taken away.

Let's catch up on the situation:

Over the last year or so, a number of people with trans-exclusionary, rad-feminist sentiments joined Narrowsgate.

Since then, there was a slow but palpable rise in crypto (meaning, hidden)-TERFism and cissexism there.

Trans members of the site, including but extending beyond ourselves, tried many times to have dialogue about things we saw that concerned us. We opened tickets (ephemeral private channels) to discuss these issues, tried to indicate how and why certain comments or ideas hurt us, spent a ton of time trying to educate, tried to ask one of the people we gave the site to (who we trusted) to help - all of this was relegated to invisible and ephemeral side-channels so that it couldn't be seen, and nothing productive happened. No dialogue was had. All of these tickets were shunted to a single admin (our friend), and we were never reached out to by any admins otherwise including the other person we left the site to.

The given narrative, as I understand, is that we "threw words out to be inflammatory." The truth is, several trans members as well as members informed on trans issues identified a real problem, rocked the boat by speaking out against it, and were consistently were told to shut the hell up.

I want to clarify that no one accused any of the people espousing gender esssentialism of being TERFs or of being fascists - we did indicate that many of the terms and statements being used were fundamental to TERFism and that TERFism has a well documented alignment with fascism.

We were then removed without any warning or notice, and without any broader announcement to members.

Most of the openly trans-identifying people who vocalized any discomfort were instantly kicked off and banned from the Discord server - even those who broke no rules and did as they were asked by staff. (It's almost like following rules has nothing to do with oppression...)

Other people who directly broke the site's own rule around gender essentialism experienced zero consequences and, as I understand it, were apologized to. The claim that anyone reached out to us - ever - or responded to our concerns - ever - is false.

Many other members have since left out of discomfort and have reached out to us.

Below the line is most of the farewell statement I had intended to share, formatted for Tumblr.

The resources I was also going to include are linked in the page mentioned above.

Again, all we originally planned to do was request that our skin and our content be taken down. But since we have been consistently, constantly disrespected, and now all of our methods of communication have been taken away, while weird false narratives are being spun behind our backs...

Yeah, we're just gonna do this ourselves.

----------------------------------------

[Original statement]

Hey all –

When we founded NG, it was always a mission of ours to create a space that was a little bit safer for queer roleplayers, and a little bit safer for people with marginalized identities, broadly. We didn't always execute that perfectly - who does? - but we did our best.

Within the last year, we have seen the emergence and rise of anti-trans rhetoric here, whether stemming from malice or (as we believe) ignorance, and despite several attempts on the part of myself and other members (all relegated to side-channels, where it is invisible), the situation has not improved. It has only gotten worse.

The most action we have seen taken has been the creation of this rule is neither followed nor enforced [ this was initially a link to a rule that attempts to ban both gender essentialism - the very thing that prompted this fallout - as well as language denouncing gender identities, which was also done with impunity ].

As trans people, as queer people, as this site's creators and its technical owners, this is and has been obviously intolerable to us.

Trans members of this site - including but also beyond myself - have been consistently silenced, ignored, and even pushed off the site, simply for saying that something is hurtful to them; or else, the conversation is misdirected into a strawman.

Most of this has been intentionally hidden from you in ephemeral side-channels.

In pretty clear terms, some of the people harmed by this have been told to shut up, in the name of "protecting (cis) women," simply for saying "that hurts." That doesn't sit right with us.

As the site's creators, we can no longer be idle or silent. We specifically created this space to be better, but it is now hostile to us and to people we care about. We have requested that our skin and all of the content we authored be removed from the site, so that our contributions as trans creators is visible and felt. [Note: Again, this was going to be our request, before we were booted off the server and before further harm was done.]

To be very clear, we are NOT doing this to "punish" individuals.

We are doing this because we don't want OUR work to support TERFism. We are doing this to reclaim, in some way, the hours and hours of effort we put into this project - both its initial creation as well as the hours of invisible support work behind it that was never seen publicly (coding support, Jcink education, etc. etc. etc.).

We are doing this because trying to talk about it never worked, respect and kindness were never reciprocated - because we were shown, time and again, that no one would talk to us, that they would rather throw out any form of prior relationship (months of writing and talking together, for instance) than to have anything approaching a real conversation.

Because some people would rather look right than BE right - or be kind.

And, because of the severe discomfort we feel at having our names and labor attached to something that has now and for a long time has consistently promoted ideologies that actively harm us and members of our immediate communities, both online and off. We have tried to work on this for months while being just outright ignored or shut down.

We generally like to advocate for empathy, and for understanding, and for patience - we understand that harm can stem from ignorance, but there's only so much actual cruelty we can stomach. We won't advocate for tolerating abuse. Certainly not in this time, where survival is hard enough, but not ever.

Additionally, that certain members here have received no repercussion whatsoever at treating both staff and other members like shit, at breaking the site's own rule against that abuse...

Yeah, you don't get to do that here on the back of our labor.

We want to make one thing very, very clear:

Our brand of feminism is trans inclusive. We have, and we WILL continue to fight for that.

For some people on NG, they can say the same, but their actions and other words say something very, very different - worse, the ideologies they espouse stem explicitly from the misguided sentiment that trans inclusivity is somehow anti-women.

As though queer power is not also feminist power. As though woman, man, does not have more than one meaning. As though there is only the binary. We don't believe that.

And make no mistake: those sentiments, along with all gestures that de-gender and render the trans experience invisible, IS TERFism, even when it comes from other people under the LGBTQIA2S+ umbrella. And I don't think these people know that. But moreover, even if they did, I'm not convinced it would matter, considering the countless times we've tried to point it out.

We tried as best we could to make a space that was a bit better than many of the others in this space. I think for a time, we succeeded in doing so - we hope to do it again.

On a personal note, I won't be engaging with internet discourse on this apart from directly with the members who are impacted. But I'm not gonna scream in random channels about this. If there are competing narratives out there - cool. Everyone can make their own choices, here, based on the info they have.

Happy Trans Day of Visibility to ALL who fall under the wide, wide umbrella of transness, including some the people who harmed members of your own community.

You too deserve to be seen for who you are, and some of you (I really hope you know who you are) don't deserve to internalize shame for being trans.

Peace.

-b

[major tw for topics discussed in this speech] For the incomparable Sylvia Rivera's powerful speech below if you have not heard/read it before. Here's some historical context if this is new to you.

[mayoscribble077]

𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 8: 𝓒𝓲𝓻𝓬𝓾𝓼

——

💕𝓢𝓾𝓶𝓶𝓪𝓻𝔂💕: Aspiring diva Kang Mi-na takes part in this year’s Squid Games, challenged among the fellow lower class. In order to have a safe chance of winning, the aspiring fashionista teams up with former-rapper Thanos. Not only is she tested on what she is willing to risk for money, but her place as one of Thanos’ confidants.

💜𝓟𝓪𝓲𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰💜: Choi Su-Bong(Thanos) x Kang Mi-na, Thanos squad + Kang Mi-na

💕𝓖𝓮𝓷𝓻𝓮💕: mi-na lives au, se-mi dies instead tho :( , romance, angst, fluff, casual, flirty bantering, lots of jealousy on nam-gyu’s part

💜𝓦𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼💜: graphic depictions of violence, murder, mild gore, explicit language, drug usage, mentions of suicide, major character deaths, spoilers for squid game s2,

💕𝓘𝓶𝓹𝓸𝓻𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓽 𝓲𝓷𝓯𝓸💕: like the original show, this is intended for a mature audience, please proceed with caution. updates will be posted biweekly at the latest, constructive criticism is welcome as long as it is dmed to me!!

💜𝓢𝓽𝓪𝓽𝓾𝓼💜: work in progress 🤭

💕 𝓦𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓽 💕: 1k

—-

💕𝓶𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽 💜𝓷𝓮𝔁𝓽 𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻

—-

Why worry about tomorrow when the present was far more appealing?

Entrapped in a chamber of nostalgia, Kang Mi-na’s fate was now in the hands of some lousy boys she basically just met.

Now, to decide what to play. Her first thought was to go for the easiest game. But what was the easiest?

Gyeong-su, who never flipped a lip unless someone talked to him first, took initiative.

“I’m good at ddakji.” He said. “Lots of girls play gong-gi, right? Do you wanna take gong-gi, Mi-na?” He brightened, hoping to bring some faith to the more.. doubtful members of the group.

“You’re funny.” Mi-na laughed, finding the shine of her nail polish more compelling.

Gyeong-su chuckled, uncertain whether her comment was sarcastic.

“I don’t like gong-gi, sweetie.” Mi-na clarified, “Flying stone’s much more my style.”

That was it. That was what she wanted to play.

“Could.. Could I do gong-gi?”

The group paused. Even Mi-na halted her primping. Min-su offered to play gong-gi, a feminine game. Brittle as Min-su was, it was still unexpected.

“Who the hell taught you to play gong-gi?” Nam-gyu hissed, but he wanted to know just as much as the rest of them.

Min-su tensed, as if ashamed.

“My mom,” he said, an answer as cute as can be.

“Min-su, the mama’s boy.” Mi-na sang in delight. “I should have known.”

Min-su lowered his head, red creeping up on his ears.

“C’mon, I'm only messing with you. If you want to play gong-gi, do it. You’re taking over for me, so like-who cares?” She nudged his shoulder—the most physical touch she was willing to give.

Min-su loosened up and swallowed, uttering what sounded like a ‘thank you’ to her.

“You done?” Nam-gyu opened his big mouth.

“Yup. You’ve got either Spinning top or Jegi.” Mi-na laid it out for him, plain and simple.

“Spinning top,” he decided. “You alright doing Jegi?” he asked Thanos.

Thanos was out of it, mouthing words to songs. After Nam-gyu tugged on his sleeve, Thanos stumbled out of his daze and bobbed his head. Jegi was fine.

They settled it quickly and with little debate.

It would be a bit before Mi-na’s team had to go. So it was up to the guinea pigs to lead the charge.

Team One and Two assembled at the tracks; Team One on the right track, and Team Two on the left. Each team lined up in the order they’d play. Braces bound their ankles together, just like in an actual six-legged race.

With grand confidence from Team One, and visible reluctance from Team Two, the second game was ready to begin.

‘Starting in three..’

‘Two.’

“LETS GET ITTTT, WOOO!!”

‘One!’

With a crackle of a gun, the two teams sprung into action. Each group marched down the track in perfect sync. For Team One, Ddakji was completed first try, but Flying stone was a trial. The stone was just thrown a little too far from the target.

Much to Mi-na’s dismay, the guard at the second post had no extra stone. So they had to fetch the stone themselves. One failed attempt sucked plenty of time from the clock; this team had several.

Team one grew increasingly agitated by the second, cussing out fellow team member Player 198 with red faces. As intense as the game was, it was entertaining to see such tough men fumble over a children’s game.

To avoid that from happening, all Mi-na needed to do on her turn was knock down the stone first try and hope the others didn’t fuck up.

No pressure.

When it became obvious Team One wasn’t going anywhere, Mi-na took her people-watching to the left ring. Team Two made it a lot farther, impressive with how much time had passed. Mi-na spotted them completing gong-gi, celebrating and hugging the woman that played. As sweet as it was, a solid two seconds was spent jumping up and down in glee.

“They’re wasting more time cheering than actually trying to win,” Mi-na jeered.

From the right track, Player 198 finally knocked down the stone. Though it was quickly penalized since he stepped over the white line. Now the group had to make another trip and try again for the fourth or fifth time. No way could they make it now, even if they passed, it would take a miracle for the team to cross the finish line.

And everyone knew what it meant to lose here.

Mi-na declared them goners, but a clash of colliding stones made her reconsider. The target was knocked over.

‘Pass!’

Yet no cheers came, not even from the spectating players. Only a saddened laugh filled with tears and piss from Player 198 and the shared whines of who he failed.

Just before they could finally move on, the guards blocked their path. Pink soldiers approached the team with long guns, probably with a name that had scrambled letters and numbers. There was no sense in waiting for the timer to hit zero, death had already come for them.

The team panicked, losing the coordination they worked so hard to maintain. All of them cried, shouting a myriad of “No!” “Please!” “Stop!” As one would when their life was about to end.

‘Your time is up.’

The guards cocked their guns and advanced. With no hesitation, they pulled their triggers.

While the volume of the shots was thundering, it was nowhere near as loud as the screams. On instinct, the crowd crammed their palms into their eardrums and ducked for cover.

Out went the bullets and into the eliminated, puncturing so many holes into their bodies they were comparable to Swiss cheese. Blood spewed out onto the colorful track like a broken sprinkler. The losers thrashed, jittering uncontrollably from the shots. It was like they were being tazed. Finally, they all collapsed.

Looking over Mi-na’s shoulder, Team two was as good as dead and filled with just as many holes.

‘The following players have been eliminated: Player 016, 045, 178, 189, 198..’

It hit her then, just as it hit everyone else, that they could be next. If a mistake was made, if a stone was dropped in the wrong place, their number would be another addition to the list.

No pressure.

———

[ct-hardcase]

I was originally going to put my thoughts on where I'm at with Avar and Elzar's relationship right now, but it was getting very long for a tag rant, so here we go.

Before I get into what I get into, I do want to say there was a moment in Tempest Breaker where Avar said some very harsh words to Keeve (which were imo unwarranted and hypocritical), then in a later scene, Avar clarifies that she and Elzar talked it over, he helped her realized her comments were unwarranted and hypocritical, and she apologized to Keeve. This moment of the two actively making the others better helped boost what Temptation was trying to go for imo, and I did enjoy that, and it makes the dynamic feel very solid and lived-in, as opposed to the honeymoon phase of a romance.

That being said, though they do make each other better, there's a disparity in the support systems outside each other, with Elzar maintaining friendships with Lina, Bell, Burryaga, among a few others I'm forgetting.

Conversely, due to Avar's jaunt in the Occlusion Zone, she's grown apart from most of the people she'd maintained friendship with in Phase I, or they died on Starlight Beacon. It's not like she doesn't have friends, but her story hasn't focused on them (aside from Rhil and Belin), and mostly stayed in the scope of her endeavors with Elzar until her recent mission in Tempest Breaker (which also included Elzar whenever she wasn't in the OZ itself).

To a degree, I think there is some underlying sexism in how their writing played out in this phase. It's a neat character arc that Elzar starts the initiative as a relatively shut-in introvert reticent to work with other people, and is ending it spread almost too thin between working with the Chancellor, Council, the OZ border efforts, and attempts to breach/communicate with the OZ. However, contrasting this against Avar, where she spends most of her year in the OZ alone (thinking of how to get back to Elzar), albeit saving people and becoming a beacon of hope, and then upon her return, is catapulted into a story about their romance before finally getting a story primarily involving others in Tempest Breaker 2/3 of the way into the Phase puts a bad taste in my mouth (not to mention, Elzar is allowed to be in other stories than the main adult novels. Due to the insularity of the stories in this Phase, Avar doesn't get nearly as much of that).

However, though my thoughts that this is a somewhat sexist direction still hold (especially given the feminization of Avar/masculization of Elzar taking place in their designs throughout, which is a whole other post), the fact that Avar's isolation is consistent across George Mann, Tessa Gratton, and Cavan Scott makes me wonder if this is also a character trait that may be relevant to the plot of Trials of the Jedi toward the end of the phase. This is evidenced by Avar's Nameless-induced vision of losing Elzar clocking in at one of her worst fears, and the fact that their romance has been going a bit too perfectly for me to think it won't be tested in the final novel. I will go fully cards on the table and say that Avar is my favorite between the two and I want her to be okay/would appreciate having more stories where she gets to be separate from Elzar if that's possible going forward, but in terms of "who will spiral the most when they lose the other", I feel like she's the clear contender if she keeps putting her non-Elzar peers at an arm's length.

[sgiandubh]

I actually am a shipper so I wasn’t trying to make the rounds to stir shit. I haven’t been around for too long only about 2 years or less. I just got upset when I saw the Getty pictures of Sam’s hand on Eleanor’s hip and hand on her back and then the fan pictures and video too of his hand on her back and giving her hug made me start to question everything since he does that with Cait too. I’m sorry for giving the wrong impression.

But I took a little time to reflect and remembered videos and images we got of Sam and Cait from Outlander promo this year. Between the moments at 92Y where Sam gave Cait a kiss on her temple and rubbed her back as well as the end when posing with Sophie in Rik. To the looks and knowing glances he gave her during interviews and even giving her a pat on the leg I believe in one interview. I overreacted initially and now that I put things into perspective, I can see the difference. There’s an intimacy and connection between Sam and Cait that comes across in promo that isn’t there with Eleanor.

Sorry again for coming across the wrong way. I truly was just looking for some reassurance initially

Dear (returning) Weary and Distraught Anon,

That would be very strange, because it really (REALLY) looks very similar to an Anon @bat-cat-reader showed me perhaps ten minutes before you chimed in.

However, since this is a plausible deniability situation, please accept my apologies, even if I still am not 100% sure about you.

I was just writing a post about body language at tonight's BAFTA preview of TCND, but since you've made reasonable amends, I am including it here for you, Anon:

S&C at OL's S7 Premiere in New York, June 9, 2023:

S & Tomlinson tonight:

Please note the following:

Tomlinson is completely disengaged, watches confidently the press people in front of her. She does not smile. Translation: I am a woman who just showed the press, the PR people and potential employers my latest project. I am a pro. I am very married and I know this hunk belongs to someone else. I am only playing PR games in *urv's mind.

S does the same. He uses his left hand as a completely non-committal blocking shield. Colgate smile is somewhat too calibrated to be spontaneous, the result is pleasant (which is to say 'decent bordering on meh'). Translation: we are all buddies and I (S) hope you liked our wee series. I really, seriously enjoyed working with these people and I am relieved we were allowed to promote this series in the middle of the strike turmoil. My well-rehearsed Optimistic Gaze Nr. 4 hides very well my real thoughts, that even @sgiandubh can't telegraph to her readers. And these thoughts have nothing to do with being here (note to readers: above thoughts probably involve a living-room near GLA).

Alfred Enoch: he is the only relaxed person in this picture and the only one whose smile perfectly aligns with his eyes (both sincere, open and enthusiastic). His arms' position is completely natural. Translation: I am over the moon to be here, I managed to work during a really rough patch and I really hope someone has noticed me tonight. Maybe I'll get another gig soon. These people are my friends, but tonight, it's all about myself: it is me I am showing off, selling and promoting here. Hire me: I am the funny one.

Bonus (dotted arrow shows where S's gaze is directed):

I think that needs no further comments. I rest my case, Anon.

Thank you for clarifying, I think you were brave to come back. Don't be a stranger, if I managed to not scare the bejesus out of you, yet.

PS: who knew my Business Intelligence uni credits would come in so handy, in the most unlikely of situations?

[lunalikesalotofstuff]

so the mutant mayhem series...

look im happy to get another show and im open to watching it and i will give it a chance.

but some stuff in the trailers really rubs me the wrong way.

april saying "isnt your whole thing a costume" in reference to ...just their bodies is icky and im dissapointed her kinda being mean to them is gonna continue. like- its not an initial shock thing like with 2003 and 2012 april its just "sure we're friends but im gonna call out how different you are even though your WHOLE goal is to fit in and be accepted.". i like her design and her story seems interesting and i hope she gets a real arc unlike a lot of aprils but like- the comments are un-necessary and it feels like shes making fun of them instead of being a supportive friend. [if theres an episode where the guys get fed up and talk to her, possibly having a lesson about expressing to your friends when youre uncomfortable with what they do then ill be overjoyed because that message NEEDS to be in kids shows and it would clarify april just didnt know it bothered them and would tone it down because she doesnt wanna hurt her friends]

in a trailer the others got praise and when it was mikeys turn someone was like "oh what do you do?" and mikey doesnt have a real answer. as a mikey fan i just cannot stand the constant dismissal he gets. if the series is gonna expand on that and take it seriously im totally in though.

i didnt mind the movie artstyle. its not something i enjoy and it kinda gave me a headache in theaters but objectivly there is nothing weong with it and a lot of work and talent was put into it. the show style is...ehhh? i dont like it. i dont hate it. i dont really enjoy the color palette. its not appealing to me and an art style can really change how much i enjoy a show.

and why does leo sound so much older. i cant be the only one hearing that right? like i know thats fairly standard for the shows but the movie had all this hype about the guys sounding and acting their age so???

and structure wise i feel like this is going to feel more like kim possible and spiderman instead of tmnt? cause like ...a HUGE part has always been theyre a secret and they work in the shadows cause theyre ninjas and now theyre just in the open. im ok with change- all franchizes NEED to change and adapt but im not gonna get hopeful till i see it done well int he actual show

speaking of that this is a reminder i by no means think the show will be bad. i want it to be awesome and fun and make its mark like other tmnt shows and films have! i just had to get this off my chest cause it was bothering me. im sure the show WILL be good cause i havent watched a tmnt show i outright disliked yet. the trailers just rubbed me the wrong way.