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thef1diary · 11 months ago
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Little Big Fan | Four
- Little Big Celebration
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After getting over the initial shock of seeing him, you greeted him. "I thought you were room service, I ordered some food."
He smiled but then he asked the question he's been meaning to ask since he couldn't find you after the celebrations, "why did you leave so fast?"
"Isabella watched you hold the trophy then she fell asleep. I didn't want the noise to disturb her," you explained, and he nodded in understanding. "Is that why we're still standing here, because she's sleeping inside?"
You shook your head, "as long as you keep it down." You moved out of the way to let him inside and he saw your favourite show queued up on the tv.
"Looks like you already have plans for the night," Max commented and you chuckled, "This is how my nights are usually spent."
"Well then I probably shouldn't ask if you want to come celebrate with us." Both of you sat on the couch, facing each other. "That would mean going to a club, which I can't do but you should go celebrate your win."
Based on the celebrations you saw on the podium, you knew the afterparty would be even better. A little part of you wished that you could go, but you were content with how you've been spending your nights lately.
"Congratulations by the way," you added. "Do you want me to leave?" Max asked bluntly which made you frown. "No, but if you have plans—"
"My plans are here, with you," he interrupted you, making you shut your mouth with his response. A smile threatened to grow on your face but you managed to compose it. "Plus I can celebrate next weekend at the next race," Max added, a smug smile on his face and you couldn't hold back yours any longer.
"That confident in your winning capabilities?" You asked with a teasing tone behind your words. He shrugged, "if I don't think I am the best, then I won't be the best."
There was another knock at your door, and this time you were certain it was room service. Fortunately, you ordered enough food so you could share with Max.
Watching your show was at the bottom of the priority list, replaced by wanting to keep the conversation going with Max.
"Don't tell Brad about this," Max spoke, pointing to the meal that surely wasn't part of his diet. "Oh no, the champion is a rule breaker," you teased him, earning a smile from him in return.
Max looked at the closed bedroom door, "did she have fun today?"
"So much fun! I think she would start asking me when we're going to another race," you told him, the excitement on Isabella's face is something you wouldn't forget anytime soon.
"All you have to do is ask, I can get you the passes for the next race." Based on his tone, he wasn't joking and you quickly shook your head.
"No, you've already done so much for us; the hotel, flight tickets, caps and whatnot," you explained, but he was quick to retort. "I don't want to sound like a stuck up asshole, but the cost doesn't matter as much as the experience."
You couldn't help but chuckle, "maybe another time, Isabella is starting school soon too."
"First grade?" He asked, and you nodded, "yeah, she's growing up so fast."
"And what about you, did you enjoy this weekend?" He looked at you in anticipation, hoping you enjoyed his company as much as he enjoyed yours.
"Maybe not as much as Isabella, but it was a very nice experience and I still can't believe you do this for a living." He chuckled at your response, but then you added, "and what about you?"
"What about me?" He asked, and you clarified, "did you enjoy this weekend, home race and all?"
He seemed taken aback by the question but he answered nonetheless. "A lot better than it usually is," the meaning behind his words was clear to you, especially with the way he looked at you.
"If you told me earlier, I would've worn orange for the race." Max shook his head, "Then people would've thought that you were supporting McLaren."
An idea popped in your mind and you slapped your hand on his thigh while exclaiming, "I should've taken the cape from Daniel!"
Your hand remained on his thigh but you didn't seem to realize, and he didn't move it away either. "I'll get you one next year," Max suggested.
Your focus shifted away from Max as soon as you heard footsteps in the room Isabella was sleeping in. "Hold on," you stood up and went to check on her.
As soon as you opened the door, Isabella paused in her step, looking at you with a sheepish smile on her face.
"Angel, are you hungry?" You asked, knowing that there were a bit of leftovers. She shook her head, then pointed at the suitcase or rather the teddy bear sitting on the suitcase.
You passed it to her and she climbed back in bed. "Are you sure you're not hungry?"
"No, mama, I'm tired." On cue, she yawned as you walked closer to her. Tucking her in properly, you placed a kiss on her forehead and sat by her side, brushing your fingers through her hair until she was sound asleep. Which again, didn't take long.
You noticed the glittery clips still in her hair from earlier in the day. You carefully began taking them out one by one while trying not to wake her up. Then, after placing another kiss on her forehead, you left the room.
"Everything okay?" Max asked as soon as you sat down on the couch. You nodded, "yeah, she went back to sleep."
"The race really tired her out today," he smiled because of his next thought, "seems like she's the one who raced instead of me."
You chuckled, "looks like it." Then you added, "I know you're a professional and all but it was just as much fun as it was scary watching you drive so fast."
"So you're not a big fan of fast cars?" He didn't comment on the fact that you only mentioned him while there were nineteen other drivers on the grid.
"That depends, will your follow up question be if I would trust you to drive me around?" You responded with a question and he had a sheepish smile on his face, "maybe."
"I guess I'll have to get in a car with you one day to know the answer to both questions."
Your conversation was interrupted by a call on Max's phone. He muttered a curse before declining it. "Why don't we watch your show?" Max suggested, leaning back on the couch comfortably.
You didn't ask him about his other plans, as he had already assured you earlier that the only plan he has for tonight are with you.
It was possible that he wanted to spend more time with you before you leave tomorrow evening, and you couldn't help but smile at the thought.
The thought of leaving didn't sit with you, but you pushed it to the back of your mind and focused on the present, with him.
You grabbed the remote and pressed play, shuffling a tad bit closer to Max.
Somewhere along the way, a few episodes later, Max's arm rested on the back of the couch. His fingers lightly grazed your shoulder every time either of you moved.
Max's phone rang two more times. The second time he picked up and quickly muttered, "I'm busy." Then he turned it off, and apologized to you.
"It's okay, you're the most popular man of the night, people want to see you," you shrugged casually.
"Yeah well, I don't want to see them." You chuckled, liking his bluntness.
It was pretty late when he decided to leave, both of you were so tired but neither wanted the night the end. You opened the door for him, but as he stepped out, he turned to look at you.
"I'll drop you two at the airport tomorrow, just let me know when you're leaving." Once again he said it so casually that you had to remind yourself that he only knew you for a few days. Although it didn't feel like it.
"You don't have to," you reminded him that he was under no obligation to send you off. He shook his head, "I want to, if you let me."
You couldn't say no to him, and perhaps it was a little selfish because you wanted to spend all the time there was with him. You haven't been selfish in a while and it is about time to change that.
"I'll text you tomorrow then. Isabella is going to be very happy knowing she'll see you tomorrow as well." You stated, not mentioning that you would be happy to see him too, using your daughter as an excuse. But then, you didn’t lie either because Isabella would be overjoyed as well.
"Trust me, I'll be very happy too," he added with a smile, preferring not to tell you how delighted he would be to see you as much as he was to see Isabella. That information was best kept to himself.
Then he left. While Max hadn't properly celebrated a race win tonight like he usually did, this sort of celebration felt better than any others.
He walked away with a smile on his face that wasn't related to his victory at all. He was just looking forward to seeing you and Isabella again.
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lostfracturess · 7 months ago
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remedies and reasons | ch. 01
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pairing — professor geto x law student reader
summary — this wasn’t supposed to happen. not that miserable internship at the law firm you hated, not him becoming your doctor, and definitely not that drunken night at the bar. but he helped, and god, you needed a friend. and he did too. except it's never just friendship with him, is it? it could be perfect—messy, complicated, but perfect. if only his heart wasn’t already taken.
important — this story is a spin-off of symptoms and causes, starting right after chapter twelve. while it can be read as a standalone, reading the original story first will give you a better understanding of the characters and story.
word count — 10.3 k
warnings — 18+ ONLY. contains explicit sexual content, age difference (10 years), doctor-patient relationship, fwb, smoking, mature themes, angst, and depictions of illness (will update as the story progresses). reader discretion is advised.
author's note — hey friends !!! i'm so thrilled to share this new story with you, even though i said i wouldn't write two stories at the same time (oops!). this chapter covers mostly chapter twelve of symptoms and causes from suguru's pov, then introduces our new reader protagonist. if you haven't read the original story, some dynamics might be confusing initially, but i hope you'll get the hang of it. remember, you're the law reader here. at the start, there's a different reader (the protagonist from symptoms and causes). i'll note at the beginning of each scene to clarify. now, i'm so excited to hear your thoughts !! reblogs and comments are love <33
masterlist + playlist + ao3 + wattpad
next chapter ->
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(note: s&c reader)
"You okay?" I asked, cutting through the tense quiet of the operating room.
Her eyes snapped to mine, the usual focus returning. "I'm fine," she said, gaze drifting away as a small frown creased her brow. "Sorry."
I watched her for a moment longer, unable to tear my eyes away. The soft curve of her cheek, the tender worry in her eyes — a painful reminder of what I could never have.
I wondered what she was thinking about. What occupied her mind like this. What could distract her from a surgery she normally loved with her whole being. But deep down, I knew the answer.
I hate the answer.
The familiar ache in my chest tightened as I steadied my hands, focusing back on the aneurysm pulsating beneath my fingertips. The world shrunk down to the surgical field, the beeping monitor and harsh lights fading away. Just me, her, and the delicate dance of our hands.
"Want to continue?"
She blinked, clearly taken aback. "You want me to clip it?"
"It's a gift," I replied.
"Gift? From who?"
I merely arched an eyebrow.
I didn't really need to say it aloud, did I? She knew.
She hesitated, her gaze dropping to her gloved hands. I could see her biting her lip, even beneath the mask. Doubt clouded her eyes, a flicker of insecurity that I rarely saw.
Stupid girl. 
Of course you can do it. You've done it before. Don't lose your focus now.
"And because I trust you," I added, my voice softening. "I wouldn't offer if I didn't."
Her focus snapped back to the exposed aneurysm with an almost palpable intensity. Her jaw set. "Okay," she said simply.
There she was. That's the woman I knew.
I moved to stand just behind her shoulder, close enough to monitor her every movement yet giving her the space she needed to work. She slid seamlessly into position at the microscope, her hands sure as they picked up the instruments.
"Focus," I whispered. "You've got this."
Watching her work was a bittersweet torture.
Her hands moved with a grace and precision that belied the complexity of the procedure, each movement precise yet unhurried. She was brilliant — a natural talent with an instinct few could match.
Except, perhaps, one person.
As she prepared to guide the clip into place around the bulging aneurysm, I couldn't help but feel proud. She was incredible and she didn't even seem to realize it.
"Do you ever think I'm... reckless?"
Her question, barely a whisper, caught me off guard.
I flinched, gaze snapping to study her profile. Her hands didn't falter, her focus unwavering. But I could see the question linger in her eyes.
Why would she ask that? Had Satoru put that doubt in her mind?
"Should I be worried that you're pondering this while inches deep in someone's brain?"
"Forget it," she muttered. "Just a fleeting thought."
With a small, dull click, the clip snapped shut. She had done it, and flawlessly at that. 
As I knew she would.
I let out a slow breath, not realizing until that moment how tightly wound with tension I had been. No matter how routine, those high-stakes seconds before clipping always gripped me.
"Well done," I said, watching the tension drain from her shoulders.
She glanced up at me, a genuine smile lighting up her eyes in a way that clenched at my heart. "Thanks, Suguru."
Oh, those eyes.
It pains me that it was him she was looking at with those soft, adoring eyes.
─────── ౨ৎ ───────
(note: s&c reader)
The water stung, colder than usual.
I scrubbed my hands next to her, glancing at her from the corner of my eye. Lost in thought again. I could tell. Her movements were mechanical, detached, her hands pale under the harsh fluorescent light. 
She was a mere shadow of her former self.
Damn it, Satoru. What did you do to her to get her this hollowed out? I wanted to put my fist through his face for the worry he constantly caused her. And the worst part was, she didn't even know the half of it.
I should tell her, right?
It was the right thing to do, to warn her about his failing liver, his addiction slowly eating him alive. She deserved to know, to be prepared.
But I couldn't. I'd made a promise. And he'd promised to get his shit together. But how much were those promises worth, really?
I know how this story will end. 
I'd seen it play out too many times.
I cleared my throat, pushing the thoughts away. "I'm proud of you," I said, trying to break the silence.
"Huh?" She looked at me, confusion clouding her eyes.
"How far you've come," I clarified, trying to get the words out right, but they still sounded hollow. How could I tell her how damn proud I was of the incredible woman she'd become? "Really, you're doing a great job. With the surgery, the research—you have a great future ahead of you."
She gave me a weak smile, then turned her gaze back to her reddened hands. 
She was trying to hold it together, I could see that. And it killed me to see her like this, struggling while I felt powerless to help shoulder her burdens. I wished she'd just open up, tell me what was wrong. But again, I knew the answer.
I hate the answer.
"How are you doing?" I asked gently. "Really?"
"Holding up. Somehow."
I observed her closely. Even without her looking at me, I could feel the weight of her struggles pressing down on her.  She was always so strong, so confident, but this was different. I'd never seen her so—broken. It was like the life had drained out of her. And it damn hurt.
"New semester treating you okay?"
Stupid question, I know.
"Bit stressful," she admitted. "I have to retake a few exams."
Yeah, and whose goddamn fault is that?
God, I'm repeating myself, but I knew the answer. 
I hate the answer.
I hate it so damn much.
"Listen, if you need any help—" I began, wanting desperately to ease her burden.
"Thank you, Suguru," she cut me off, shutting off the faucet with a harsh twist. "But unless you're offering to take my tests for me, I'm afraid this is on me."
She turned and reached for a towel, the action more frantic than usual. I watched her, frustration and helplessness twisting in my gut. I wanted to do more, to be more for her, but how could I when the one she really needed was — not me.
Truth was a bitter pill I had to swallow every damn day.
As she dried her hands, I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing thoughts. I turned off the water. "I'm sorry things turned out like this for you," I said, the words almost painful. "But it's for the best, for him and for you. We did what we had to."
"Wait, what do you mean?"
I grabbed a towel. "Hm?"
"What do you mean with, 'we'?"
Shit.
I froze mid-movement, my jaw tightening involuntarily. Damn it, I hadn't meant for that to slip out.
Her eyes bore into me, demanding answers. "What did you and Satoru talk about that night? The night before the hearing? I know he was with you."
I remembered it all too well.
Satoru showing up at my door in the middle of the night, shaking, sweating, barely holding onto his sanity. The ethics committee wanting to see him bleed, the guilt eating him alive over dragging her down with him, his addiction — it all become too much.
He didn't know what to do, what the right thing was. And I helped him see reason.
Or at least, that's what I told myself.
"It's nothing important. He was confused, and I helped him clear his head."
"What does that mean? What did you say to him?"
Her hands gripped the edge of the sink until her knuckles showed bone-white through the skin. She wasn't going to let this go.
Damn it, how could I get out of this?
She deserved the truth, I knew that. But I'd sworn to Satoru I wouldn't tell. My mind raced, searching for an explanation, but the truth was, there wasn't one.
Damn it, Satoru. Why do I always have to clean up your messes?
"Tell me what the fuck you said to him!"
And then I saw it. A flash of hurt in her eyes, a vulnerability I'd never seen before. It shattered me. She was so hurt. My beautiful, strong girl was so hurt and there was not a damn thing I could do to ease her suffering.
Because she was with him.
And I was on the sidelines, forced to watch Satoru tear her apart piece by piece — until there was nothing left.
I hated it. Hated Satoru for causing her so much pain.
I couldn't take it anymore. Sorry, Satoru, but screw you and your lies. This was different, because she was different.
"Isn't it obvious?" I snapped, the words spilling out before I could stop them. "I told him to end this. That it would destroy you, and that he should take responsibility for once!"
She flinched, her eyebrows drawing together as she mutely shook her head. "You had no right. You had no fucking right to do that!"
No right?
Oh pretty, I know that better than anyone. But how could I stand by and watch her get dragged down with him? No. Not anymore. I refused.
"No right?" My voice matched hers. I hated how this entire wretched situation had me losing control, lashing out at her when Satoru was the one who deserved it. "And watch you both go down? Satoru was a ticking time bomb! It was better this way—better him destroyed than you dragged down with him."
"I had him, Suguru!" she shouted. "I almost had him trusting me enough, trusting us enough, to let me help him, damn it!"
I almost laughed, but it stuck in my throat. It hurt too much to see the hope still clinging to her eyes. "You're delusional. He can't change. You know that. It would always have ended like this."
"My god, I can't believe your audacity! You ruined everything!"
I ruined everything?
Maybe it wasn't fair of me, maybe my own feelings were clouding my judgment, but damn it, I couldn't watch this anymore. Not when I could still taste the embers in my mouth each time I saw the deadened look in her eyes.
I stepped closer, my jaw clenched. She flinched back, but I kept going. I'd watched Satoru hurt her too many times. I couldn't stand by any longer.
I had to shatter her delusion.
"You know how many times I've seen this play out? The promises to change? I've seen it too often. He won't get better, and I won't let him drag you under with him. Not you."
Her back hit the sink. I stepped closer, until I felt the sudden searing burn of her warmth radiating against me, the intoxicating floral notes of her scent filling my senses until I thought I might lose it from proximity alone.
My hand twitched, moving before my mind could catch up. I wanted to pull back, but I couldn't.
Fingertip traced the delicate line of her jaw, trembling slightly at the contact I craved so much. I fought the urge to let my touch linger, to commit every precious dove-soft plane and angle to memory while I still could.
"This is for the best," I rasped out. "You're young, brilliant. This—relationship with Satoru, it would have ruined you."
"Don't you dare," she hissed, eyes blazing as she swatted my hand away. "You have no right to decide what's best for me."
"Yes, I do. Because I was the one who got you here in the first place, it was my doing, and I—" My voice caught in my throat. "I don't want to see you hurt."
The silence that followed was deafening.
I couldn't look at her, couldn't bear to see the pain I'd caused reflected in her eyes. I'd done what I thought was right, what I believed was necessary to protect her. But in doing so, I had become the very thing I despised—a barrier between her and the happiness she deserved.
Perhaps I'd just screwed everything up even more. And it was killing me.
"Why are you saying this now?" Her voice was barely a whisper.
I wanted to tell her everything. 
I wanted to confess the depth of my feelings, the months of silent longing that felt like a steadily tightening noose around my neck whenever I witnessed her happiness with him, the aching, hollow pit that seemed to consume more of me with every smile, every tender caress between them that I wasn't the recipient of, the gut-wrenching jealousy that flayed me from the inside out whenever she looked at him with those devastatingly soft, adoring eyes that held nothing but indifference for me, the—
Sorry.
I'll stop now.
It didn't matter anyway, did it?
The words wouldn't come.
I couldn't, wouldn't allow myself to cross that line.
All I could do was look at her, my heart splitting apart from the violence of my want with every beat. The urge to reach out, to pull her against me, was almost overwhelming. But I held back, my hands clenched into fists at my sides. I'd already done enough damage.
Then, my damned gaze flickered down.
Those lips. God, those lips.
Soft, slightly parted, the bottom one bearing the faint imprint of her teeth—a nervous habit I'd caught myself watching, savoring, hating myself for noticing.
How many times had Satoru kissed those worry marks away? How many times had I wanted to?
I'd lost count of the nights I'd lain awake, imagining her mouth on mine, her lips parting to gasp my name—not his. It was torture, this constant craving to know their texture, their heat, their taste.
It was wrong, so fucking wrong, to think about her that way.
But there I was, night after night, picturing those lips forming my name in a way friends never do. Dreaming of tasting them, feeling them, knowing them in every way I shouldn't.
And it hurt.
I sucked in a hard breath.
Sorry, Satoru. I can't keep this to myself anymore.
"You know damn well why."
I couldn't say it out loud, couldn't bring myself to admit aloud what she patently refused to see with her own eyes. No. I simply couldn't.
"No," she breathed. "You can't—"
I swallowed hard, my throat tight. "Yeah, I know. You don't have to tell me that."
I already know that painful truth, pretty. It was a wound that refused to heal. I'd lived with that realization for far too long.
Suddenly, my pager blared, shattering the moment. Damn it. I cursed under my breath, pulling out the device. My face went taut as I read the message.
Yaga: Office. Now. Bring the student too.
That bastard. Why the hell did he want to see me now? And why her? Was it something Satoru screwed up again? Or something else? Did Satoru get the same message?
This couldn't have come at a worse time.
"What is it?" she asked, her eyes searching mine. I couldn't meet her gaze. Not after I'd betrayed not only her, but Satoru too, with my stupid, selfish feelings.
"Yaga," I choked out. "Wants to see us. Now."
Our eyes finally met, hers filled with questions I've longed so much to answer.
"Why?"
"I...I don't know. But we should go. Come on."
─────── ౨ৎ ───────
(note: s&c reader)
My foot tapped a nervous beat on the scuffed wooden floor.
Why was I so damn nervous? I knew Yaga's games, been through them a thousand times. But this felt different. Because she was here. And she shouldn't be.
A knot tightened in my gut.
He wouldn't bring up that topic again, would he?
I glared at Yaga, willing him to just spit it out already. My eyes flicked to her, sitting stiffly beside me. Her face was a mask. I wondered what she was thinking about. Was she thinking about what I said? Or about—no, I didn't even want to think about that.
I know, I know, I'm repeating myself.
I knew the answer.
I hate the answer.
"So, shall we begin?" Yaga's voice finally cut through the silence, like he'd been enjoying our discomfort. Damn old bastard. "I've called you here to discuss a research project that I want you to redo."
He slid a folder across the desk towards her.
No name, just a mess of loose papers threatening to spill out. She picked it up, her brow furrowing as she opened it. Then her grip tightened on the file. I leaned closer to see what had her so tense, and my stomach dropped.
I knew that title.
Knew it better than anyone, except maybe the one person who'd written it.
"You want me to redo a study that was completely pointless?" she asked, her voice sharp.
"Yes," Yaga said simply.
"The results were inconclusive. A dead end."
"Your research held promise. Dr. Geto never failed to remind me." Yaga's eyes flickered to me. "Now, you have better resources, better support. You can refine it, perfect it."
Damn it. I should've kept my mouth shut.
Regret gnawed at my insides like acid. Regretted telling him what a brilliant mind she had, how much she deserved to be here—among the best. 
Because she did.
She was a natural, something I'd rarely seen before, maybe only in Satoru. Hell, it was like watching a younger Satoru at work. And it hurt. It was painful to see so many parallels between them, knowing that I could never measure up to him in her eyes.
I'd brought her here because I believed in her. Because I wanted her on my research team, because I wanted to work with her. But now, I wasn't so sure.
Had I screwed up? Was I the reason she was in this mess? Had I brought her here only to watch her world fall apart?
I didn't want to admit it. Couldn't bear to be the cause of her pain.
I glanced at her, catching her eye. Frustration and confusion were written all over her face.
Shame washed over me.
It was stupid, I know. I shouldn't feel ashamed for recognizing her talent, for bringing her here where she belonged. She deserved it all. But I couldn't shake the feeling that without me, she would've been better off.
Without me and Satoru.
Her knuckles turned white as bone as she gripped the file tighter, then slammed it shut.
"That's not the point," she said. "My CAR-T Therapy research was theoretical, a mathematical model that was inherently flawed. All the best equipment in the world won't change that. It's a black hole."
Yaga leaned forward. "Listen, we have a generous donor. I think you met her at the conference? She took quite a liking to you. Her husband recently succumbed to this very type of tumor."
I knew it.
Yaga, the greedy bastard, never changed his stripes.
The silence was heavy, the only sound the insistent ticking of the clock on the wall. Her mind was racing, I could feel it. So was mine.
I must have spaced out for a second, because the next thing I knew, she was speaking again, her voice dangerously low. "You want to use me to exploit a grieving woman just to line your pockets?"
Yaga's mouth hung open, the smug look wiped clean off his face.
In any other situation, I would have laughed. She, a mere student, had managed to stun the all-powerful Yaga into silence. But the situation was anything but funny. Still, I couldn't help but feel a surge of pride. She was something else.
Suddenly, the door slammed open. I didn't even need to turn my head to know who it was.
"What the hell is going on here?" Satoru's voice boomed through the room.
Yaga's face hardened. "Dr. Gojo, what a... surprise. Here I thought you might have finally bothered to read your emails."
"Cut the bullshit, Yaga," Satoru spat. "This is a new low, even for you. Forcing a student, exploiting a grieving widow—have you no shame?"
Yaga rubbed his temples, his voice dripping with annoyance. "Dr. Gojo, your dramatics are exhausting. Do you understand the costs your actions have inflicted on this institution? A shred of gratitude, a willingness to shoulder some responsibility, might be a welcome change."
"Responsibility? You want to talk about responsibility? You're exploiting a woman in the depths of grief, using one of my students as a bargaining chip. What the hell happened to you, Yaga?"
The two of them went at it, their words flying back and forth faster than my eyes could follow. 
Yeah, Satoru sure knew how to make an entrance. Not a trait that was always helpful in situations like this, because something in Yaga snapped at his words.
Yaga stood up so abruptly his chair screeched against the floor. "Happened to me? Dr. Gojo, have you considered the consequences of your reckless behavior? You're the one spiraling, and frankly, it's becoming unbearable."
Damn, these two were about to kill each other. Satoru should know better than to provoke Yaga like that. The old man was stubborn as hell. But so was Satoru.
I closed my eyes briefly, then stepped between them, forcing myself to sound calm. "Director Yaga, please. She's a student, her focus should be on her studies."
"Of course, which is why you and Dr. Gojo will provide your expertise. Your old lab is free to use, funds are secured, equipment at your disposal. You have free rein."
Huh?
I narrowed my eyes. As if that made it any better.
Satoru let out a bitter laugh. "Free rein? Or free rein to do as you please? Despicable, Yaga. Truly despicable." He leaned back, folding his arms.   "And wasn't I suspended? Investigations and all that? But I suppose principles go out the window when money enters the picture."
"You have no right to dictate what happens here, Gojo," Yaga snapped, his composure slipping. "You answer to me. This research holds immense potential, not just for the university, but for the field itself. You will do it. End of discussion."
"Potential? Or is that just fancy code for fattening your wallet, Yaga?"
"Don't play dumb, Gojo. You, of all people, know exactly how the game is played."
"Don't. Do. This." Satoru leaned forward, his chest brushing against my hand as I tried to hold him back. "Involve her in your schemes, and I swear—Leave her out of this. Suguru and I can do the damned research, but let her focus on her studies."
"You're in no position to bargain. I can make things incredibly difficult for you, Gojo. Throw away all that potential, all that talent... it would be a shame, wouldn't it? But I am more than willing to do so if you prove uncooperative."
Smug bastard was really pushing it today.
He was nothing without us, and he knew it. This whole place would crumble without Satoru and me. We were the ones who brought in the grants, the prestige, the groundbreaking research. And yet, he treated us like we were disposable.
I pushed Satoru back, stepping up to confront Yaga directly. The urge to wipe that smugness from his face with my fists was nearly overwhelming, but I forced control over my rage. One hothead was more than enough for today.
Still, my words came out in a tone of barely restrained menace. "Director. Dr. Gojo has a point. This research will be a massive distraction. Her studies should be her priority."
"Yes," Yaga drawled. "I heard about her recent... setbacks." Yaga sank back in his chair and opened his laptop. "A failed practical exam, a theoretical test barely passed. And this isn't the first time, is it?"
He turned the screen towards her, her failing grades a glaring red on the display. "Tell me, which subject would you like to miraculously pass? A click of my fingers, and it's done."
Before I could say anything, Satoru exploded.
"You blackmailing piece of shit!"
"Blackmail?" Yaga said. "No, blackmail would be threatening to cut her scholarship, endangering her entire future here... which, thankfully, our generous donor would be more than happy to preserve."
This was too much. 
Now he had two pissed-off neurosurgeons on his hands. I braced my hands on the desk, leaning towards him. "Yaga, this is beyond the pale! This blatant manipulation—"
Suddenly, her voice cut through the tension. "I'll do it. I'll work on the research."
The room fell silent. 
Satoru and I both whipped around to look at her. Her gaze was fixed on Yaga, not flinching. There was something defeated about her, something I wasn't used to seeing. It chilled me to the bone. She wouldn't give in like that. I knew her better than that.
But what had changed?
"Someone finally sees reason," Yaga said, breaking the silence. "You start this week—"
"No," Satoru interrupted. "That's not up for debate. We start next week."
"This week," Yaga repeated, his voice firm.
Leaning in, Satoru's voice took on a dangerous edge. "Next week. Or I walk out that door and you can find yourself a new star surgeon."
Huh?
Why did the start date matter so much to him?
Was that the real issue here?
"Dr. Gojo, you are exceedingly close to losing my goodwill," Yaga ground out. "Fine. Next week."
Satoru backed off and started to pace the room. I glanced at her, who was still sitting silently in her chair. She looked so small, lost in the shadows of Yaga's office. I wanted to wrap her in a hug, tell her it would all be okay.
But it wasn't my place. I knew the answer—
Sorry.
I'll not repeat myself yet again.
My gaze shifted back to Yaga. "And if we find nothing? Months, years, wasted on a dead-end?"
"You'll continue as long as the funding lasts."
"Of course," Satoru spat from across the room.
"Well, look at the bright side, Gojo," Yaga said, adjusting his glasses and focusing on some papers on his desk. "I just approved that fancy new CT scanner for the ER. Isn't that what you've been whining about? Finally found some spare change in the budget, did we?."
"You fucking bastard," Satoru hissed.
Yaga merely shrugged. "Everyone has to play their role, Gojo."
I watched the exchange with a growing sense of disgust. Yaga's power plays were nothing new, but this — this was something else. Exploiting a grieving widow's generosity, using my student's academic struggles as leverage. It was sickening. 
I'd always known Yaga was ruthless, but this level of manipulation left a sour taste in my mouth. He was like a parasite, feeding off the brilliance and drive of others, all while masquerading as an advocate for the institution's best interests.
I clenched my jaw.
How could I continue to work for a man who treated his students and staff as mere commodities to be exploited?
Suddenly, I heard a shaky breath behind me.
I turned to see her staring blankly ahead, her body trembling ever so slightly. "If you'll excuse me," she whispered, then abruptly stood up and practically fled the room.
"Wait—" I started, but she was already gone, the door clicking shut behind her.
"Fuck you, Yaga!" Satoru shouted, slamming his fist against the wall hard enough to leave a mark. "This is your fault, your doing!" With that, he stormed out after her.
And I couldn't follow.
All I could do was try to clean up the mess that was left behind.
As soon as they were gone, I turned back to Yaga, who seemed to think the conversation was over. Oh, but it wasn't. Not by a long shot.
"You know about them," I said, not bothering to phrase it as a question.
"It's obvious even to a blind man, Dr. Geto," Yaga replied, his eyes glued to the papers on his desk.
"And you're just going to ignore it?"
He looked up, a cold glint in his eyes. "I finally found Gojo's weakness. Why would I let that go? At long last, I have a way to make him obey me."
I scoffed. In one swift motion, I swept the papers off his desk, scattering them across the floor. I leaned forward, my hands braced on his desk, glaring at him.
"This crosses a line, Yaga. You've gone too far."
His eyes narrowed. "Watch your tone, Dr. Geto. You're treading on dangerous ground."
"No, you are!" I shot back, my voice rising. "You're exploiting her, using her for your own gain. You think you can manipulate everyone, but you're wrong."
"Control? Greed? Those are harsh words coming from you," Yaga retorted, standing up to face me. "And here I thought you, of all people, would understand."
"Understand your greed? Not a chance."
"I don't care if you like my choices or not. This is how things work. You can play by the rules, or be replaced. Don't delude yourself into thinking you're irreplaceable, Dr. Geto."
"Your arrogance is going to cost you another surgeon if you don't watch it. You drove Sukuna away, and now you're halfway there with Gojo and me."
"Sukuna was a different story!" Yaga snapped, his face contorted with a rage I couldn't quite comprehend. He quickly regained his composure, but the outburst had left an uneasy silence in its wake.
Suddenly, my phone buzzed. I glanced at the screen and saw Shoko's name. Frowning, I answered the call. "Shoko? What is it?"
"Suguru, there's a patient here who insists on seeing Satoru. She says it's really important, but he isn't answering his phone, and she won't leave.“
"Why can't you see her yourself?"
"I need a neurologist's assessment," she replied. "And she specifically asked for Satoru. They had an appointment scheduled, and she's adamant about seeing him."
I sighed, rubbing my temples. "There are other neurologists on staff right now."
I could hear her sigh on the other end of the line. "She's never seen anyone else here, Suguru. I'm pretty sure there's a reason she's so insistent on Satoru. Just look at her, do me a favor."
"Alright, I'll be there soon," I conceded. "Bring her to my office."
I ended the call and turned back to Yaga. I took a deep breath, trying to quell the rage that threatened to consume me. "This isn't over. Not by a damn sight."
"Yeah, yeah, Dr. Geto, as always," he dismissed me, already back at his papers. "By the way, there's a legal consult regarding this research coming up for you and Gojo. We don't want a repeat of past indiscretions, now do we?" He looked up at me.
I wanted to smash his smug face in. 
I turned and stormed out of his office, slamming the door behind me. My blood was boiling, my fists clenched tight. I hated this whole damn situation. Hated Yaga, hated his manipulative tactics, hated how he was using her. But most of all, I hated feeling so goddamn powerless.
As I walked down the corridor, my anger slowly hardening into resolve. Yaga might think he was in control, but he was wrong. I wouldn't let him manipulate her, or Satoru, or anyone else.
Not this time. Not ever again.
─────── ౨ৎ ───────
(note: r&r reader)
I made my way to the hospital.
A damn patient was really the last thing on my mind. I had more important things to do than deal with a hysterical patient. What was it even about? Why did it have to be Satoru she wanted to see? Some relative of his?
I tried to take a deep breath and calm myself, but the downpour between the parking lot and the main entrance made it damn near impossible. By the time I got inside, I was soaked to the bone. No umbrella in sight, of course.
My office door was slightly open. I pushed it in, expecting to find some old lady or something. Instead, a young woman sat in the chair across from my desk. Mid twenties, maybe, with a delicate, almost fragile look about her. Her hands were clasped tightly in her lap.
The office was dark, the lights off, which struck me as odd given the gloomy weather outside. But the light from the window beside her illuminated her face, and I had to admit — she was beautiful.
I must have hesitated overlong in the doorway, because her gaze suddenly snapped up to meet mine, those stunning eyes of hers holding me captive. "You are not Dr. Gojo."
"I'm Dr. Geto," I managed, clearing my throat against the strange tension. "You not fond of light, are you?" I asked pointing towards the light switch.
"I like it a bit dimmed," she said, and I didn't question it further.
I stepped into the room, glancing down at my clothes. Not exactly the most professional look for a doctor, standing there soaked through in front of a patient. I threw on my white coat, but it did little to hide my damp appearance.
"You were here for Dr. Gojo, right?" I said as I sat down behind my desk.
"Yes," she said, her eyes following my every move.
"I'm sorry, but he isn't available right now. But I'm a neurologist as well. Perhaps I can help you instead?"
She slid a piece of paper across my desk, her hand still resting on it. "I just need a signature here."
"A signature?" I leaned forward, water dripping from my hair onto the form. I quickly pushed my wet strands back. "This is a health screening form."
"Yes." Her eyes darted nervously to mine. "I need it for my job."
"Can I take a look at it?" I made to take the paper, but her hand remained firmly in place.
"Just the signature, please. Then I'll be out of your hair."
I raised an eyebrow. "I can't sign something without knowing what I'm signing."
Her brow furrowed, and she snatched the form back. "Sorry to have wasted your time," she muttered, starting to get up.
"Wait," I said, stopping her mid-motion. What was it about this woman? What did Satoru have to do with any of this?
"Tell me." I leaned back in my chair. "What did you and Gojo agree on regarding this?"
She hesitated, biting her lip. "Dr. Gojo agreed to sign it without asking too many questions."
Something didn't add up. Satoru might be an addict, but he wasn't reckless with patients.
"I swear, I'll give you the signature you need if you'd just let me take a look at it first."
Reluctantly, she slid the form back across the desk, avoiding my eyes. I scanned it quickly, my brow furrowing as I saw the long list of medications, mostly anticonvulsants. 
That explained the lights being off.
"You have epilepsy." I looked up at her. Why would she think either of us would sign this without checking it out first?
"Yes."
"And you're currently taking all these meds?" I gestured to the list.
"Yes."
I leaned back, studying her face. "And Gojo knew about this?"
"Yes."
"Do you have any other words in your vocabulary besides 'yes'?"
Her brow furrowed, and a flicker of defiance flashed in her eyes.
I sighed. "Come on, sit down."
Reluctantly, she settled back into the chair.
I studied her face, looking for any signs of her epilepsy — a slight tremor in her hands from the Topiramate, maybe. But there was nothing. She was perfectly still. Satoru must have found the right dosage.
The silence stretched on. I waited for an explanation, and she knew it. I could practically see the gears turning in her head.
"He's been treating me for a while," she finally said.
"I see. And he agreed to sign this health screening form for you?"
"Yes—"
I raised an eyebrow.
"Look, Dr. Geto, I really need this for my internship," she pleaded. "It's really important to me."
I glanced back down at the form. "Nishimura and Asahi, huh? That's a big deal. You're a law intern?"
"Yes, I am. I'll be working there for the next semester."
I skimmed the papers again, test results, MRI scans. "So, you're almost done with your studies?"  I asked, not looking up.
"I do my second state examination after my internship, yes, then I'm done."
"Hmm." I looked up from the papers, the rain drumming against the windows, the only sound in the otherwise silent office. She stared at me, unwavering.
"So you're preparing for your final exams while working the internship? Sounds stressful," I tried to broach the subject carefully.
"Please, Dr. Geto," she said. "I just need a signature on this paper, and I'm out of here."
I sighed. "I understand. But I can't just sign this without checking in on you first. I need to run some tests, make sure you're fit for work."
My eyes scanned the papers again. Blood tests and medication checks were recent, but the MRI scans were outdated. Even Satoru wouldn't have let her slide with that.
"Look, we can make this quick," I offered. "Your MRI scans are old. We take new ones, and then—"
"No," she blurted out, her voice rising in panic. "I mean, isn't there another way?"
"Another way to look into your brain?" I raised an eyebrow. "I'm afraid not."
She bit her lip, her hands clenching and unclenching in her lap, saying nothing.
"Look, it's crucial for me to get a clear picture of your brain activity," I explained. "It's the only way I can make sure you're safe and healthy. Otherwise, I can't sign that form."
She looked up at me again. "I... I can't do MRIs. I'm not really comfortable with enclosed spaces."
Huh?
Was that the problem?
I ran a hand through my damp hair, looking back at her scans. "Your last scans were done by Dr. Gojo too, right?"
"Yes."
She was a woman of few words, it seemed.
"Was there something special Dr. Gojo did that made you feel more comfortable in the MRI? Did he give you any medication? Vistaril? Valium?" I knew it wasn't that, though. Those drugs would interact badly with her other meds.
She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, looking like she might throw up any second. "He... held my hand."
Ha?
My eyebrows shot up. "He held your hand?"
She lifted her chin and looked away. "It... it helped."
I can only imagine the dumbfounded look that must have settled on my features as I processed her words. I couldn't picture Satoru, who rather had his patients in and out in mere seconds, being so patient and caring with anyone. Let alone holding their hand through a brain scan.
She crossed her arms, a stubborn look on her face. "I swear, nothing weird happened. He just held my hand, that's all."
I couldn't help but laugh.
"It's not funny," she protested, her cheeks flushing. "It was really embarrassing."
"Oh, I'm sure it was," I teased, enjoying her flustered reaction. "But it's also quite cute."
She huffed, turning her head away. "It's not cute. It's just... something he did."
I leaned forward, resting my elbows on the desk. "And would you like me to do the same?"
Her eyes narrowed, a spark of challenge in them. "His hands were really soft."
"Is that so?" I leaned back in my chair. I could see the wheels turning in her head, her stubbornness a thinly veiled attempt to stall for time.
"And warm."
"Aha."
"And he had this way of holding my hand," she started, demonstrating with her own hands. My eyebrows shot up even higher as she mimicked Satoru's thumb stroking her knuckles. "Like this."
Somewhere in the middle of her demonstration, she must have realized how ridiculous this was, because she abruptly stopped.
"Don't laugh!" she warned, and I realized I was indeed grinning like an idiot.
Before she could object, I reached out and took her hand in mine.
Her skin was soft, her fingers delicate. I held her gaze, challenging her silently. Not sure what I was trying to prove, but the warmth of her hand in mine felt... good. I knew I was crossing a line here, but I couldn't bring myself to care.
"See? Not so bad, is it?"
She didn't say anything, but her grip tightened a bit. I held her gaze for a few more seconds, then my thumb brushed against the back of her hand in a soothing gesture. She seemed to relax slightly under my touch.
Her eyes darted around the room as if searching for an escape route. "I... I suppose."
I couldn't help but let the moment linger, our hands still intertwined. I noticed a slight tremor in her fingers, and my thumb instinctively smoothed over her skin again.
She suddenly gasped. "That's... quite weird."
"And with Gojo it wasn't weird?"
She shook her head, eyes glued to our hands. "No. I just realized it's weird in general."
I smiled. "Well, then it's settled. We'll schedule your MRI for tomorrow morning."
"You're not like other doctors."
"Perhaps not," I said, finally letting go of her hand. "But you're not exactly your average patient either."
"What's that supposed to mean?" she gestured towards my soaked shirt. "You're the doctor who's completely drenched. I can practically see your skin underneath. Not very professional, is it?"
I glanced down at my sopping clothes. I hadn't even realized how see-through my shirt was. "For someone who's afraid of an MRI machine, you sure have a big mouth."
She crossed her arms. "And for someone who just held a patient's hand without their explicit consent, you sure have a lot of nerve. That's a violation of medical ethics, you know. I could report you for that."
"A law student, are we?" I raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at my lips. "Perhaps you should focus on passing your exams before you start threatening lawsuits."
"Yeah, well, I'd need that signature before I can do that, wouldn't I?"
"Fair enough." I stood up, keys in hand. "Until tomorrow then. Try not to sue me in your sleep."
I turned to leave, but her voice stopped me. "Just so you know, Dr. Geto. I'm not afraid of MRI machines. I just don't like them."
I turned back, a grin spreading across my face. "We'll see about that tomorrow, Attorney," I challenged. "We'll see about that."
The hallway was empty, the silence broken only by the steady drip of water from my clothes. As I walked, the adrenaline of the encounter faded, replaced by the familiar weight of the day's earlier events. The tense confrontation with Yaga, the lingering ache for her — it all came back, a dull throb in the background of my thoughts.
Her face.
Her eyes.
That damn smile.
I ran a hand through my hair.
Fuck.
─────── ౨ৎ ───────
(note: r&r reader)
I held my promise.
Her fingers were cold and clammy, her pulse racing beneath my touch. My thumb traced the back of her hand, hoping to convey some sense of comfort. The MRI machine's steady thrum filled the room, but beneath it, I could still hear her shallow breaths.
How the hell did I end up here? Holding hands with a patient during a goddamn brain scan was definitely not in my job description.
"Can you tell me something?" she asked. "Dr. Gojo always talked to me while I was in here."
"What do you want to know?"
"How did you and Dr. Gojo meet?"
I hesitated, slightly irritated by the personal question.
"We've known each other our whole lives. Kindergarten, elementary school, high school... we didn't always get along. He can be a real pain in the ass. But somewhere along the way, we just clicked. Been stuck together ever since. Same university, now working together."
"So you've never been apart?"
"Not really," I said, continuing to soothe her hand with my thumb. "I think the longest we were separated was when he did a semester abroad. Six months, maybe."
"Wow. Sounds like you're an old married couple."
I huffed. "Yeah, somehow we were that."
"Were?"
I looked up, realizing I'd slipped into past tense.
There was a long silence as I thought about it. We used to be so close, inseparable. There was nothing we didn't share, nothing that could ever come between us. But lately, it felt like we were drifting apart.
Maybe I was only realizing it now.
"Oh, I..." I trailed off. I rested my chin on my free hand, looking away from her. "I guess it's only natural. People drift apart. Life happens."
What the hell was I doing?
This was some random patient of Satoru's, a complete stranger. I should've stuck to small talk, the weather, anything but my personal life. But maybe, with everything going on, I just needed to talk about it — to anyone. Because I sure as hell couldn't talk to Satoru about it.
But she wouldn't understand, would she? She was just a stranger.
She wouldn't understand the sleepless nights, the endless tossing and turning, the hollow ache in my chest that wouldn't go away.
"Hmm," she murmured, her grip on my hand tightening slightly. "Was it a woman?"
"Huh?" I looked at her, or at least the part of her face that wasn't hidden by the MRI machine.
"The reason you parted, I mean?"
"No. It wasn't a woman."
The silence hung in the air as the MRI hummed and clicked. She didn't say anything.
I took a deep breath. "It was a woman. But not in the way you think."
"It's never what it seems, is it?"
I hesitated, not sure how much to share. But something in her voice, a softness, made me want to go on. "They share a bond... a deep one. I've never seen anything like that. It's like they're the very air the other breathes."
Her grip on my hand tightened, as if she understood the depth of my pain, even without knowing the full story. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
"It's alright," I said, trying to shrug it off, but the pain was still raw. "I knew from the start that they were made for each other."
The truth sliced through me, sharp and cold.
They were too similar, both bordering on insanity to be fair, but similar. Yet, they were so stubborn, so unwilling to admit their need for each other, that they'd rather tear each other down.
It was a damn tragedy.
Even more of a tragedy to get caught up in their destruction, to have these stupid feelings I'd rather not have.
I stayed silent, unsure if I wanted to say anything more. It hurt too much to talk about it, the wound still too fresh. But then, her voice cut through the silence again.
"The law firm is hell."
"Huh?" I was pulled back to the present. "What do you mean?"
"The corporate types are all so stiff and judgmental," she complained. "And the other law students... so ambitious, always trying to one-up each other. I hate it."
My lips twitched into a light smile. "Yeah, law students were always ambitious, even back in my day."
"They are. Everyone's so focused on being the best, even if it means stepping on others. I'm not sure I have that kind of ambition."
"But you got an internship at one of the top law firms in the city," I pointed out. "That must mean you're pretty ambitious yourself."
There was a pause, then she almost whispered, "Yeah, but at what cost..."
Hm?
I barely caught her words, but before I could ask her to repeat herself, a sudden beep from the MRI machine cut through the air. The machine whirred to a stop, the sudden silence almost unsettling. The scan was complete.
The table slowly slid out, bringing her back into full view. She blinked, her eyes adjusting to the light. "That's it?" she asked, sounding surprised. "It's over?"
"All done, Attorney," I said with a reassuring smile. "You did great."
As she started to sit up, I realized I was still holding her hand. She glanced down at our intertwined fingers. "You can let go now, Dr. Geto."
I blinked, snapping back to reality. I quickly released her hand. "Sorry."
"It's okay," she said, a playful smirk tugging at her lips. "I tend to have that effect on men."
"Again, for someone who's afraid of MRIs, you've got a pretty big mouth."
"Again, I'm not afraid of them. I just don't like them."
"Yeah, yeah," I said, helping her off the table. My hand brushed against hers again. "Now let's take a look at those scans."
─────── ౨ৎ ───────
(note: r&r reader)
As the images flickered onto the screen, my focus sharpened, my eyes scanning the intricate patterns of her brain. The room was quiet, broken only by the soft hum of the computer and the rhythmic beeping of the nearby monitors.
"Everything looks good, Attorney," I said. "No signs of any abnormalities or lesions."
She leaned forward, her eyes wide with interest as she studied the images. "So, I'm all clear?"
"As far as I can tell. Your epilepsy seems to be well-controlled with your current medication."
"Thanks, Dr. Geto, I really appreciate it."
"You're welcome," I replied, grabbing the form from my desk. "Now, about that signature..." I quickly filled it out, my pen scratching across the paper. With a final flourish, I signed my name at the bottom.
"Here you go," I said, handing it over. "All set."
She took it, her eyes scanning the document quickly. "Thank you. You've been a lifesaver."
"Just doing my job." I waved away her thanks. "Now, go out there and conquer the legal world."
She looked up from the paper and met my gaze with a boldness that caught me off guard. "Would you like to go out for drinks this weekend?"
I blinked, my mind scrambling to process her words. "I... what?" I stammered, completely taken aback. "Are you—asking me out?"
"No, no, that's not it at all!" She quickly waved her hands in front of her face. "I mean, not like a date or anything. I could really use a friend, someone to show me around and... you know, just hang out with."
I stared at her, amused and bewildered at the same time. "Attorney, I'm at least ten years older than you."
Her eyebrows shot up. "Ha? How old are you?"
"How old are you?"
"Didn't you read my medical history, doctor?"
Right. Now I remembered. Twenty-six. Yeah, ten years older. I leaned against the desk, not quite sure what to make of her proposition.
"I'm your doctor," I said, reminding her of the obvious.
"Technically, I'm Dr. Gojo's patient."
"Even so, you realize how this could be perceived, right?" 
"It's not like I'm asking for your kidney. Just a few drinks." She shrugged, unfazed. "Besides, you seem like a nice guy."
"That's all it takes for you?"
"Come on, don't make it so hard for me," she said, pouting playfully.
"I'm not sure I'm the best person to show you around town. I'm a bit of a workaholic. Socializing isn't exactly my forte."
She tilted her head, studying me with a curious gaze. "So you're saying you don't have any friends?" she asked, a playful challenge in her voice. "Are you a loner, Dr. Geto?"
I hesitated, thrown off by her directness. "Do you always speak your mind so bluntly?"
She shrugged. "Only when I'm talking to heartbroken doctors who seem a little lonely."
I couldn't help but be intrigued by her persistence.
She was unlike any patient I'd ever met — bold, witty, and surprisingly insightful. And despite the age difference, there was some sort of strange understanding between us. I couldn't quite tell if she was doing this for herself or for me, but I found myself wanting to find out.
"Alright, Attorney," I said. "You win. I'll show you around town. But don't expect any wild nights out. I'm more of a quiet bar and good conversation kind of guy."
Her face lit up with a genuine smile. "Sounds perfect. Just promise me you won't try to diagnose me with anything while we're out."
"Why, is there more to diagnose?"
"Nothing major," she said with a chuckle. "Just the usual existential angst, quarter-life crisis, questioning my entire career path kind of stuff."
"Don't worry. I won't diagnose anything outside this hospital."
"Great." She grinned, extending her hand. "Then it's a deal."
As our hands clasped together, I returned her smile. "Deal."
─────── ౨ৎ ───────
(note: s&c reader)
Satoru's call woke me up, telling me to get my ass to the lab. It was my day off, damn it, but when he mentioned she wanted to meet us. I dragged myself out of bed.
By the time I got to our old lab — now ours again, apparently — Satoru was already mapping out the entire research study on the whiteboard. He must have been there for hours.
Good thing I'd brought two coffees. I knew this was coming.
Hours passed in a blur of caffeine and whiteboard markers. Satoru and I argued over every damn strategy, our approaches clashing like always. He wanted to go one way, I wanted to go another. Every idea we had was met with immediate criticism and erased within minutes.
New idea, erase, repeat.
But we kept going, trying to find a plan that would work, not just for us, but for her. We both wanted to take some of the burden off her shoulders.
Then the lab door opened. I turned, surprised to see anyone before the afternoon. My heart stuttered in my chest.
It was her.
She walked over to us, her expression unreadable. It was the first time I'd seen her since Yaga's office, since I'd almost let those three damning words slip past my guard. Since I'd seen the confusion in her eyes when she realized what I was about to confess.
God, what had I been thinking?
That she'd what, return my feelings?
Foolish.
"What are you doing here?" Satoru asked. "Don't you have a lecture right now?"
"Yuta's covering for me. It's fine."
"That's not how this research will work. You won't jeopardize your studies for this," Satoru said, his voice firm.
"Last time I checked, this was my research. Remember?" she retorted, her tone just as sharp.
Satoru merely huffed. She shifted under his gaze, looking uncomfortable. And tired. No, tired was an understatement. She looked like she hadn't slept in a week. Her cheeks were hollow, her skin pale. I hated seeing her like this.
"You look exhausted," I observed quietly. "Are you sure you're up for this?"
"I'm fine," she said, but it was a blatant lie.
I glanced at Satoru, who was already looking at me with a frown. He thought the same thing I did.
"Look, I have an idea," she said suddenly, walking over to the whiteboard and snatching the marker from my hand. Before I could react, she erased our notes with a few harsh strokes.
Ouch.
"My original approach was too theoretical—too cautious," she began, drawing on the whiteboard. "I wanted to use CAR-T therapy to treat brain tumors like blood diseases, but that's not enough. What if we combine CAR-T with targeted antibodies?"
I took a seat next to Satoru, my eyes following hers as she scribbled diagrams and equations on the board. I took a sip of my coffee, already cold. "Antibodies... what kind?"
"T-cell engagers," she said without missing a beat. "We can engineer them to bridge the gap between the CAR-T cells and the tumor."
"That's never been tested before," Satoru chimed in.
"That's why we'll be the first," she retorted. “We'll modify the CAR-T cells to specifically target the glioblastoma's antigen fingerprint. But we need to combine them with T-cell engagers, designed to simultaneously bind the EGFR protein. This way, we can maximize tumor cell destruction."
It was hard to keep up. Her words were spilling out a mile a minute, as if she was afraid they otherwise might slip her mind, the drawings on the board barely legible.
Then, she spun around. "And we'll inject them directly into the brain."
Silence.
Satoru and I stared at her, trying to process what she'd just laid out. Even as seasoned neurosurgeons, we were struggling to keep up. This was on a whole other level than anything we'd considered.
We were looking for something that would work and be safe.
She just wanted to find a way to make it work, damn the risks it seemed. The lack of sleep was clearly messing with her head, but in a twisted way, it made sense. Still, we couldn't actually go through with this, could we?
Her gaze flitted between us, waiting for a response.
God, I need a cigarette.
"That's," I paused, searching for the right word, "—bold."
"More like insane," Satoru countered. "When was the last time you actually slept?"
"Ha? Tell me this doesn't make sense."
I leaned back, drumming my fingers on the armrest as I thought it over. "It does. Theoretically, it could work."
"Combining CAR-T with antibodies? Direct brain injection? We don't have preclinical data, not even hypothetical models to support something this radical," Satoru countered.
"So?" she challenged. "Isn't that what groundbreaking research is about? Taking risks, pushing boundaries?" She gestured to the whiteboard. "This—this is worth the risk."
I stood up and started pacing, rubbing my chin as I thought it through. I walked back over to the board, took the marker from her hand, and started scribbling.
"She's right,"  I said, my mind racing.  "Direct injection cuts through the blood-brain barrier issue. And targeted antibodies... that opens up possibilities we haven't even considered."
But there were still so many obstacles. "The potential for cytokine release syndrome—" I mused aloud. "If the T-cells overreact, we could trigger an inflammatory response."
She leaned closer, her eyes focused on the board. "We can manage that. Steroids, anti-IL-6... strict monitoring protocols."
Hmm, maybe. But there was still more to consider. I kept writing. "And what about the target itself? EGFRvIII is notoriously heterogeneous. We need robust evidence that our antibodies won't miss their mark—"
"Is it just me, or am I the only sane person in this room right now?" Satoru interrupted, his arms crossed as he glared at us from his chair. "We're not talking about hypothetical models here. We're talking about messing with someone's brain. Someone's life."
"I'm well aware of the risks, Satoru," she shot back.
"Aware and reckless aren't the same thing," he retorted.
"Coming from you, that's rich."
God, I need two cigarettes now.
"Look, you've barely slept for a week, and now you're proposing—what, supercharged T-cells?" He gestured towards our chaotic notes on the whiteboard. "Have you both lost your goddamn minds?" His gaze flickered between the two of us.
I was surprised he was so hesitant. Satoru was usually the first to jump into the deep end. Somehow, I had the feeling he changed. He wasn't as risky as I used to know him. Must be her influence.
She took a step forward, her eyes locked on Satoru's. "This could work, Satoru. Or are you too much of a coward to even try?"
"Ha?"
She leaned in, her hands gripping the arms of his chair. "Tell me, do these supercharged T-cells unnerve you? Make you uncomfortable with yourself?"
I had to look away. The sight of them so close together made my stomach churn. I didn't want to see whatever was about to happen. She whispered something I couldn't make out, but the intensity in her eyes was clear. A wave of irritation, of jealousy, washed over me.
My phone buzzed, a welcome distraction. I pulled it out, annoyance flaring when I saw the caller ID.
"Damn it." I answered the call. "Shoko, what is it?"
"Hey Suguru, look, we have an emergency here and the other neurologist is out sick. We need someone to jump in, can you come?"
I rubbed my temple. "Alright, I'm on my way."
I turned back to them, already gathering my things. "We'll pick this up later. There's a situation at the hospital." I looked at her, concern replacing my irritation. "Get some rest. You look like hell."
The words were out before I could stop them, harsher than I intended. But I was already halfway out the door.
Later, as I was scrubbing into surgery, my own words echoed in my mind.
And I felt awful.
─────── ౨ৎ ───────
(note: s&c reader)
Sharp autumn air stung my lungs with each greedy drag on my cigarette.
Across the table, Satoru's fingers tapped an impatient rhythm on the worn table that set my teeth on edge. I had to resist the urge to reach over and grab his wrist to make him stop. His eyes were glued to his phone. Overhead, the sky was a bruise-colored canvas, the sun barely visible.
Forgotten coffee grew cold between us.
I took another long drag from my cigarette. Satoru shifted opposite of me, his leg bouncing with nervous energy. He hadn't looked away from his phone in minutes, his fingers twitching as if itching to type a message.
We sat like this for a while at the campus outdoor cafeteria. Students hurried past. Neither of us said a word.
"Sorry for ditching you with my patient the other day," he finally said. "How'd it go?"
I exhaled a plume of smoke and watched it vanish into the leaden sky. "Everything's fine. Medication's good, MRI was clean."
"That's good news," he said, already back to his phone, unlocking and locking it in a nervous tic. "Knew you'd take care of her." He glanced up with a smirk. "So she actually went through with the MRI? How'd that go?"
I let out a dry laugh. "Let's not talk about it." I stubbed out my cigarette butt in the grimy ashtray and immediately lit another. "Didn't know you were so soft with your patients."
"I'm not a monster, you know." He shrugged, gaze dropping back to his phone. "I do what's best for them, even if it means bending the rules a bit." He paused, a smirk once again forming on his lips. "She's pretty straightforward, huh?"
"Did you sleep with her?" I asked bluntly.
Satoru's head snapped up, eyebrows raised. "What, you think I'm screwing every student that walks through my door?"
"You seem familiar."
"She's nice. I was nice in return. That's all." His attention was already drifting back to the bright screen. "Besides, she works with Higurama. He asked me to keep an eye on her."
I exhaled slowly, the smoke a grey ghost against the darkening sky.
"She's doing okay, by the way," he offered without looking up.
My blood ran cold. 
I knew who he was talking about. We both did.
Satoru's gaze met mine, his smirk gone. "I know you want to ask."
Silence fell. I wondered if he could sense the fever-pitch of my pulse, if he knew about my feelings for her. Because the way he looked at me now, I had a sinking feeling he did. My fingers tightened around my coffee cup.
"It's not easy for her," I said, trying to sound indifferent.
"Yeah." Satoru's expression hardened. "I should kill Yaga over this whole mess."
"Still, her plan might actually work. It's a good one."
"Yeah, but at what cost?" His leg started its anxious bouncing again under the table. "She's pushing herself too damn hard."
He paused, then blurted, "We should leave this university."
"Like we talked about before you backed out?"
"You know why." He unlocked his phone again, only to lock it a second later with a sigh. "I can't leave her alone with these maniacs."
"The whole staying away from her thing isn't really working out, huh?"
"Of course not," Satoru scoffed with a weary sigh. "I should've known better."
I took a sip of the coffee gone cold and bitter minutes ago, watching him over the rim. He raked a hand through his hair, then tugged at the strands, his leg still bouncing under the table. Something was eating at him.
"You okay?" I asked.
"Yeah, fine," he replied curtly.
I watched him for a beat longer. He was clearly anything but fine. But I knew better than to push it. He wouldn't tell me anyway. Satoru always kept that shit bottled up tight.
But there was another issue too, wasn't there?
"How's the medication treating you?" I asked instead. "We should get your liver enzymes checked soon."
"Huh?" He looked up from his phone, clearly surprised by the question — as if he'd forgotten about his failing liver.
Just then, Zenin Maki and her friends strolled past our table. Okkotsu gave us a quick wave as they passed, and I returned a faint smile.
It was strange. She wasn't with them.
Come to think of it, I hadn't seen her around campus at all since we last crossed paths in the lab.
Satoru's gaze followed them as they scanned the outdoor seating area for a table. His eyes widened, then he quickly stood up. "Sorry, Suguru, I have to go," he said hastily, not giving me any explanation. But I should be used to this by now.
It wasn't the first time.
He was already gone, leaving his coffee cold and abandoned in his wake. I took another long drag of my cigarette, stubbed it out in the overflowing ashtray, and reached for my phone.
[12:15 PM] Me: So, Saturday at 9pm? Know a good sports bar if you're into that.
[12:16 PM] Attorney: Sounds good, love sports. Send me the address.
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next chapter ->
author's note: i'm so thrilled to hear your thoughts on geto's pov! he's really struggling with gojo and s&c reader being the mess that they are and his feelings in all of it, but don't worry, he'll get his happy ending (with you) too hehe <33
i hope it wasn't too confusing though. this is my first time writing a spin-off, so if you haven't read symptoms and causes, it must be quite confusing at times. but the next chapters will focus less on the s&c reader and more on geto and the r&r reader of course. but i love how i can provide background info for s&c through this story and vice versa :)) & lastly, thank you so much for reading !! your support truly means the world. hope u all have a great day !! <3
pls comment on the masterlist for the taglist. or consider subscribing to the story on AO3, if you'd like to stay updated on future chapters.
🏷️ @nanamis-baker @whereflowerswenttodie @certainlysyko @ri-sa20 @biancaness
@roseified @rixo-19 @madaqueue @starmapz @alwaysfreakingout
@gojoluvs @totallytatum @shervinss
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© lostfracturess. do not repost, translate, or modify my work.
397 notes · View notes
lizard-on-a-window-pane · 10 months ago
Note
hi gorgeous!! The way you write james has me thinking non stop about him for days (i need him fr) so on that note, can i please get a request where reader gets jealous for some reason and he doesn’t notice at first cause he only has eyes for her but she kind of gets clingier and a little grumpy so he talks to her and just lots of fluff and cuddles? Thank you <3
thank youu! comments like that make me want to be writing all the time really hope you like it!! sorry i got a little carried away length-wise
a confession among friends: getting called my boyfriend's sister actually happened to me once and i was soo pissed lmao
pairing: James Potter x reader word count: 4.1k (not completely proofread)
Boy-friend
You weren’t much in the mood for a party. No matter how many times Sirius clarified that it was only a “get together,” it was a party. Still, James had wanted to come, and there’d been plenty of times he’d come out because you were the one who felt like it, so you were happy to try to make the most of it. 
James comes up behind you now, surprising you and tickling you with no warning. You break out in full laughter but contort to smack him away. 
“Stop! stop!” you half laugh, half yell. 
“Alright, shortcake, but if I catch you looking grumpy again, you’re gonna get it,” he replies cheekily, giving you a playfully accusatory squint. “Shortcake” wasn’t your favourite of his nicknames, but it had stuck after one night the boys had had way too much to drink and way too much fun making fun of you for being the shortest of the group, not bothering with your contention that it wasn’t fair since you were the only girl.
“I was not looking grumpy.” 
“Given I’m the one who could see what you looked like, not you, I think my word counts for more here.” 
“What are you two on about?” Sirius interrupts, wrapping an arm around James’s shoulders in their typically brotherly way. 
“Was or was she not looking grumpy just now?” James asks.
“Was,” Sirius nods affirmatively.
“Whatever, you losers,” you roll your eyes at them. “Anyway, if I’m looking bored” — you glare at them before either corrects your word choice — “I feel justified in blaming the host of the party,” you smirk at Sirius.
“It’s not a party; it’s a get t—“ 
“A get together,” you both finish for him. 
“Yes, yes, we know, mate,” James laughs. “Lots of people in your flat for a ‘get together,’ don’t you think?” 
“Well, I’ve just made lots of cool friends recently. Thought it’d be nice for them to meet each other,” he shrugs.
“Always so generous,” you tease.
“‘Course,” he shrugs. “How else are you two annoyingly romantic recluses going to meet anyone new? You never leave your flat.”
“We do so,” you try, but it sounds damningly defensive. You cringe before Sirius can pounce and add, “Well, we’re here now aren’t we?”
“Fair. Glad you’ve graced me with your presence, L/N,” Sirius smiles.
Just then a small toy football whizzes past Sirius’s head. 
“Oi!” he yells, turning towards the source of the projectile. “No indoor football!” Then he grins his characteristically wolfish smile. “Not before I get to pick teams! I am host after all.” He grabs you by the wrist, dragging you with him. When you begin to object, he just shushes you with, “Weren’t you just complaining about being bored?” 
James comes too, no dragging necessary. You’re surprised to find Remus, usually so responsible, in the midst of the ball game crowd. 
You raise an eyebrow at him, and he chuckles, shrugging and telling you, “It’s Sirius’s flat. Do you think we’d even be able to tell if something got damaged?” He looks around at the messy space. 
You all start what was initially some kind of football game, but it just devolves into a drunken monkey in the middle situation. 
You get stuck in the middle, for frustratingly longer than most. It’s not fair Remus is so tall, and James so athletic. When you’ve finally had enough, you jump at James when he catches the ball, wrapping your arms around him, not even going for the ball.
“Hey!” he yells as he’s laughing. “Ref! Foul!” He shakes you loose, not without a fight from you. “That’s not the game,” he chides you. He lifts the ball high, and you make the mistake of reaching for it, obviously having no chance. “Gotta try better than that.” He hasn’t stopped laughing as you jump up and down like an idiot.
“I give up,” you announce, winded but smiling slightly.
“Such a sore loser,” he teases, ruffling your hair a bit and giving you a gentle playful push. 
“Whatever,” you push him back. “I’m thirsty. You want anything?”
“I’m good. Catch up in a sec.”
“‘Kay.”
He throws the ball over your head at a ready Sirius as you weave your way to the kitchen. 
You lean on the counter, drinking some water. You look back over toward your silly boyfriend and best friends, who are still playing the game, but your view is mostly blocked by a couple of girls who are also watching the shenanigans. You don’t mean to eavesdrop, but they’re standing very close to you. 
“He’s so cute,” says one of them, a strikingly attractive girl in heels that make her a whole head taller than the other girl. 
“Why am I not surprised? You have such a specific type,” laughs her friend. 
The gorgeous girl just shrugs, owning it with no shame. 
Having witnessed your fair share of such reactions, you automatically assume they’re talking about Sirius. You just smile and roll your eyes, used to it. 
Soon the boys are over the antics too even though the game continues without them, and they come get some water as well. James stands next to you as he downs his glass. He bumps his shoulder against yours, a common gesture between you. 
The girls turn toward your group now, and the especially pretty one says, “Thanks again for inviting us, Sirius. If I’d realized it was going to get so… physical” — she emphasizes the word seductively, as she nods back to where they had just been throwing the ball — “I wouldn’t’ve worn such high heels.” She kicks her foot back a bit, as if to show the heels she’s blaming, but you don’t miss her turn into it, showing off her (amazing) body.
Sirius just grins knowingly, unfazed. 
“You could always take them off,” he suggests nonchalantly. 
She giggles and retorts, “But they look so good on me.” 
You can’t help but think it’s incredible people actually just talk to each other this way. You feel like you’re watching a movie, sure you’d never feel bold enough to say something like that unless the other person knew it was your line. You’d never been particularly good at flirting, and getting together with James since back at school, you hadn’t had the need in a long time. Even with James, though, you’d never talked like this, not back then, not now. You were glad you didn’t feel the need; everything just came naturally when it came to James. He used to make you nervous from how much you liked him, sure, but for years, you’d become completely comfortable with him. The closest you came to flirting was your quite frequent teasing, but you teased Sirius and Remus as well, and they you. 
“Aren’t you going to introduce us to your friends?” The girl’s question breaks you from your thoughts, drawing your gaze to her. Her gaze, you come to find, is not on Sirius, but on James. Directly, aggressively on James. 
Oh god. Maybe it wasn’t Sirius after all. 
“Oh, how rude of me,” Sirius says, typically theatrical. “Lads, this is Jules and…” Jules introduces her friend, but you miss her name as a group of people near you laugh loudly. “And these are my best mates, Remus, James, and Y/N,” he gestures at each of you in turn. “We go back to our school days,” he adds kind of adorably.
“Oh, how cute!” says Jules. 
Ok, not that adorably. You cringe internally at her then feel a bit guilty for disliking this girl for very little reason. Well, maybe there was a reason… but it wasn’t one you felt often.
She hasn’t stopped staring at James the whole time, and you steal a glance at him now. He’s pouring himself more water, quite unaffected. He looks at her only when she addresses him directly. 
“You were so good at… whatever you all were doing over there,” she giggles. “James. It was James, right?”
Oh please. She obviously remembered.
“Yeah,” James smiles, wiping some water that had condensed around his glass. “Thanks,” he chuckles and shrugs. “Not much competition, though,” he adds teasingly, shoving Sirius on one side of him and splashing your face with the water droplets lingering on his fingers on the other.  
“Oh don’t be mean,” she says exaggeratedly, playfully hitting his shoulder. 
You are not a fan of how angry such minimal contact makes you. 
“I thought you put up a really good fight against someone so tall and clearly athletic,” she says to you, looking back toward James at the end of her sentence. 
James just laughs lightly and, turning to you, bumping your shoulder, asks, “What do you think, shortcake? You think you put up a good fight?” His tone is all teasing. 
“You two are too cute,” says Jules. 
Weird angle for her obvious flirting, you think. 
“Is this your sister?” she asks, pointing between the two of you. 
Oh god. You are simultaneously mortified and infuriated. 
Sirius breaks out laughing, saying, “I told you I bet other people play siblings or dating with you two when we go out.”
James starts saying something, but just then, the ball from the continued game hits the counter right next to you, knocking over a bunch of water glasses and startling you all.
“Alright,” Sirius chuckles. “Maybe enough with this shit.” He grabs the ball and goes to toss it in a closet. James goest to dry his arm where it got splashed. Remus starts cleaning up the mess. A loudly apologetic bloke you don’t know comes over to help.
The slight chaos has moved the conversation away from what was just happening, and you have no idea how to clarify things without being incredibly awkward. 
His sister? What the fuck? Did this girl really not mind being a total bitch to get what she wanted or, worse, did she actually think you were siblings? Did you look like siblings to the rest of the world? Should it bother you so much if you did?
You’re reeling, and start thinking back to what could’ve given her that impression. Your stomach sinks at the realization of so much playful bumping, hair ruffling, and the like. You can’t remember kissing James once tonight. Maybe this isn’t out of the ordinary, with your slight aversion to PDA, but not once? You realize also how many of your gestures toward James you’d also done toward Sirius. How much they behaved similarly not just with you but with each other. Oh god. Were you that sisterly? 
You panic, reach for a kitchen towel, and start drying your damp boyfriend, getting way too close and speaking way too loudly when you say, “Let me help you with that, baby.” 
James is a little taken aback. You never call him baby. In fact, though his calling you pet names is common, the reverse is rare. You usually stick with “Jamie” … or some dumb teasing insult like “loser.”
“Uh, it’s fine,” he chuckles confusedly. “Wasn’t that much.” You nod and put the towel down. “You okay?” he asks. 
“Fine,” you say too quickly.
You glance toward Jules to gauge her reaction, but she’s busy also drying off, her friend having gotten the worst of it, and you’re not sure whether she heard you.
“Wanna go sit down? I’m tired,” you tell James, dragging him by the hand, which you don’t let go of even after he’s clearly following you, back to the living room. 
You pull him down to the couch, where you proceed to sit way too close to him despite there being more room on your other side and wind your arm under his as you continue to hold his hand. You kiss his cheek as he settles in. 
He’s smiling but asks, “What’s with you, love?”
“Nothing,” you say, but your voice sounds off even to you. You kiss him again, and even more confusion seeps into his smile. 
You’re trying to think of something “couple-y” to do but come up with absolutely nothing, an awkward air arising between the two of you as you squirm. You literally cannot remember the last time you felt awkward with him, and now you add feeling guilty into the mix. At your insecurities, at your jealousy, at his slight discomfort, you’re not even sure at what, but it’s awful. 
“You sure you’re alright, sweetheart? You’re all tense, and I’m pretty sure I’ve lost circulation in my hand at this point,” he chuckles. You notice your grip is vice-like. 
His tone is light, but yours is not as you snap, “I’m just holding your hand. I’m your girlfriend; that shouldn’t be weird.”
His smile fades quickly as he answers, “Uh… I didn’t say it was weird, Y/N. Just too tight?” It sounds like a question, but that’s probably just because he seems very confused overall. 
“Right. Sorry.” Your voice is much softer now as you let go of his hand. 
“It’s fine. Obviously. I just… Um…” He’s searching for what to say, wanting to comfort you but unsure what you even needed comforting from. He opts for just reaching for your hand again, straining a smile though his eyebrows remain in a confused furrow.
“You wanna go disorganize Sirius’s beloved record collection?” he asks mischievously.
“No, not really,” you say softly, not feeling like a prank right now even though you usually did. 
“Um, ok.” James looks a bit awkward. “You hungry?”
“No.” 
“Right.” A silence. “Let’s just sit here then,” he says, probably a bit more sarcastically than intended. 
“Is that so bad? Do we always have to be doing something for me to be fun?” you shoot, standing up. “Why don’t you go find Sirius or Remus, James. I’m sure it won’t even make a difference.” You turn away angrily, but he follows you up quickly and stops you. 
“Whoah, what’s up, shortcake?” he asks, eyes wide. 
“Don’t call me that. It sounds like you’re teasing your little sister.” 
You see something in his eyes at the word “sister,” but you turn and keep trying to walk away before you have time to really analyse it.  
James is following you but he has to weave between a group of people you managed to avoid, so you get to the bathroom before he catches up. He knocks a second later. 
“Y/N? Can we talk please?” You don’t say anything. “Come on, Y/N. Let me in. Or you come out.” You lean against the door but still don’t say anything. 
“I just want to know you’re okay,” he says more softly this time. 
“I’m fine,” you say, softly too. “I just need a second, okay? I’ll be out in a minute.” 
“You sure?” 
“Yeah, just give me a minute.” 
“Alright, love, but just come back quick, alright?” 
You’re not even really sure what you’re doing in here. You just need to collect yourself, you guess. You fiddle with some stuff on the sink then find yourself looking in the mirror. 
An ugly thought arises, and you hate it, trying to push it away. It comes back anyway. 
She’s much prettier than me… 
That distorted inner voice doesn’t stop there. 
And better at being a girl.
“You’re being ridiculous,” you whisper out loud to yourself. “Completely ridiculous.”
You wash your hands even though you haven’t used the toilet, shaking your head, your gaze fixed on your hands. Then you go back out into the party. 
James is across the room, talking to Remus, but staring at the door you just came out of. As soon as he sees you, he pats Remus on the shoulder, saying something quickly, and starts moving toward you. 
He’s stopped in the middle of the room by a perfectly manicured hand on his chest. It’s attached to Jules, of course, and your glare hardens. You’re too far away to hear what she says to him, her hand lingering on him. 
James shakes his head a bit at whatever she’s saying, his eyes coming back toward you quickly. He gives her a glance again and a nod then his hand comes to her shoulder. You’re eyes are glued to where they connect, and so your gaze follows the motion of James’s hand gently pushing her body aside. A moment later, it detaches as he continues walking toward you. You haven’t moved when he reaches you.
“Hey,” he says simply. 
“Hi,” you return. You look away from his face, shy and confused about what to tell him. 
His hand gently guides your chin back up, and you lose yourself in his beautiful eyes for a second. He gives you his warmest smile, and you give him a pitiful but sincere one back.
“You wanna talk about what the hell just happened?” he laughs lightly. 
“Isn’t it obvious?” you try. You’re not sure you want it to be, but you’re too embarrassed to explain and would take any option that meant you didn’t have to. 
“Actually, it wasn’t,” he chuckles. “When you got weird, I thought it was just because you didn’t want to come tonight,” he starts. “But I still didn’t understand the specific… I don’t know, kind? of weird you got.” His lips quirk into a teasing-adjacent smile here, but your face immediately contorts in embarrassment. You cover it with your hand, but James quickly removes yours with his. “Hey, hey, no, sorry. I’m sorry. It’s alright, lovely.” He caresses your hand he’s still holding. “I’m not teasing, okay?” He smiles at you, and you just keep watching him, but your face relaxes a bit. “Then,” he exhales dramatically, “Remus asked me how you reacted to that girl flirting with me right in front of you then calling you my sister.” He grimaces. 
Thank God for Remus, you think, the only emotionally aware man you’ve ever met.
“I hadn’t noticed the first part, sweetheart,” James adds. “The flirting part, I mean. I’m sorry, pretty girl. I mean, she didn’t know I had a girlfriend — clearly — but I would’ve just told her I did if that ball hadn’t hit us.”
“She was really into you,” you say before thinking, unsure where that’s supposed to take the conversation. 
“Was she? Huh.” He sounds slightly amused, but you know he’s acting to amuse you. 
“You really couldn’t tell?” you ask him. There’s disbelief in your voice, but you’re smiling a bit at him. He takes a step closer to you.
“I mean, I guess in retrospect, it makes sense,” he says honestly. “But I guess I’m out of practice,” he laughs. “And more importantly, I don’t care who’s really into me because I’m really into you, you silly girl.”
You exhale, your heart warming and most of your heavy emotions leaving you. You squeeze his hand, and shaking your head at yourself, bring it to rest on his chest. James chuckles into your hairline, kissing the top of your head and holding it close, his fingers interweaving into your hair.
“I’m sorry,” you mumble, your mouth squished against him. 
You can feel him shake his head since he’s resting it on yours.
“No need,” he smiles. “I’m sorry. Was quite daft.” You laugh into his chest. You wipe away a tiny tear you’d been about to shed then rest your hand on his chest. The image reminds you, and you jolt upright, looking into his face again. He looks startled but amused. 
“What?”
“What was she saying to you? Just now?” You nod toward where they’d been talking. He laughs a full laugh. 
“She was telling me we should ditch this get together and go to her place.” He wiggles his eyebrows goofily. 
“Jamieee,” you scold, smacking his chest. He grabs hold of your hand and holds it to his heart, thumb caressing the back of it. His other hand still at the nape of your neck. 
“She was telling me,” he leans in conspiratorially, “‘sorry for not realizing your girlfriend was your girlfriend,’” he chuckles again. “I guess your little show worked afterward.”
“And what’d you say?”
“Does it matter?” It’s not harsh; he’s all warmth now. Knowing him, you realize he probably just doesn’t see the point of lingering.
“I just want to know,” you say.
“I said I didn’t care and it was fine or something.” He shrugs. “Can’t remember my exact words. Had more important things — a more important person — on my mind, to be honest.” He smiles at you. You smile back. 
“I love you,” you tell him. 
“I love you too,” he replies with a laugh as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “So much,” he adds, a bit more seriously, and kisses your forehead.
You just stand there, close to each other, your head back on his chest, his arms around you, for a few moments.
Then, leaning back to look at his face, you ask seriously, “Do you really?”
He looks confused by your question, its sincerity. “Of course I do. I adore you. You don’t know that?” His question has more than a tinge of hurt under it. 
“No,” you chuckle. But before he can get the wrong idea, you quickly continue, “Of course I know that.” You smile earnestly, and he seems comforted. “I mean, do you really not care? That she couldn’t tell I was your girlfriend?” Your voice grows softer and softer as you ask, and it’s a mere whisper by the end.
“No, sweetheart,” he smiles. “I don’t. I know. And you know. Who cares what other people think?”
“I did,” you scold yourself. “I’m sorry I got so weird. I just… I got really insecure about being just like Sirius or Remus to you. I know I’m just one of you in some ways —“
He cuts you off, “Yeah, baby, you’re one of us in some ways, but not in every way. The four of us, we have something special,” he nods. “But the two of us, we have something special too.” He tightens your embrace. “Seriously special. Yeah, we’re… what? friendly? sometimes. But, darling, you are not like Sirius or Remus to me.” He brings his hand to your face, caressing your cheek. “For starters, I don’t want to kiss Sirius or Remus, and they’re pretty good looking blokes,” he jokes. “And I don’t want to tell them about every single thing that makes me smile — just a lot of them — and about everything important in my life. I don’t need to make sure they’re happy and safe absolutely all of the time. I don’t feel warm and happy to be alive every time I look at them, and I don’t love cuddling with them at night, waking up to them in the morning. Not to even mention the other things that happen in that bed…” Now you laugh too.
“Yeah,” you nod, getting convinced.
“Yeah?” he pushes. 
“Yeah,” you say certainly. 
“Good.” 
You hum a warm assent.
“Now what do you say we ditch this get together and go back to our place?” 
You roll your eyes at him but laugh as you nod. 
“Yeah, let’s go home.” 
He’s nodding as he shifts his arm across your shoulders, kissing the top of your head and continuing to hold you close as you walk toward Sirius and Remus to say goodbye. 
“Leaving already?” Sirius complains, teasing you about being antisocial and lame. 
“Sorry, mate, but I really want to cuddle up with my girlfriend right now, and this doesn’t seem like the best place for that.”
“Ugh, so cheesy, Prongs. Just leave already,” he says, feigning disgust and pushing James away. 
“Good night, gorgeous,” Sirius tells you, kissing your cheek carelessly like he’s done a million times. Similar words, similar gestures, yes, you think, but they don’t feel the same at all. You smile.
“Good night, Siri,” you say. You and James hug Remus too. 
James puts his arm back around you as you go to leave. You smile up at him, then, mischief in your eyes, you push him away and walk faster. 
“You’re all sweaty, Potter. Gross.” He laughs and play chases you all the way out the door. 
Once you’re on the other side of it, enveloped by the welcoming quiet privacy of the night, he catches up to you and pulls you to him. You resist for only a moment, your laughter intermingling with his, then you melt into his embrace.
“C’mere, gorgeous,” James huffs, kissing you ardently. “Can’t wait to get home with you,” he whispers before kissing you again.
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delimeful · 3 months ago
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Really? You don’t find passive aggressive comments, such as your tags, do be impolite?
And how, exactly, is an ask button (which YOU enabled) that is commonly known to be used for requesting stories on Tumblr from writing pages impolite? Are you new to writing Tumblr? What do you think a majority of writers on Tumblr use that ask button for?
I’ve been a follower for a while but I’m pretty dissapointed tbh.
Anonymous asked: I noticed a reply from @/gstash So let me address that as well. No, of course I don’t expect everything immediately and for free, and I initially requested this story over a year ago. I also spent over $50 being subscribed to Lime’s Patreon specifically for this story, but I had to stop due to low finances. I was just trying to check on when it may be up soon, but I felt the response was rather rude.
(the added slash is mine, i didn't want to inadvertently @ anyone else in this debacle lol)
this is gonna be my final word on the matter because im sick of getting home from work to asks like these. anything else is gonna be deleted. feel free to go ahead and use your actual blog to reply instead of anon if you still feel that strongly about it.
i dont think my tags weren't passive aggressive they were just plain statements. no, i don't think it's impolite to express a boundary irt people asking me for updates. your indignation about this reflects on you, not me.
to clarify, badgering me for updates (verbatim: "Could you please please please post chapter 7") isn't impolite, just irritating. it was the decision to send another ask chiding me for my response that was impolite. kind of a dick move, as most involved in the tumblr writing community know. i genuinely feel sorry for the writers you follow if you genuinely only see their ask boxes as an opportunity to pester them.
i'm disappointed too, anon. i hoped that maybe keeping calm and sincerely explaining myself would be enough to prompt you to respond with empathy in kind, but instead you doubled down.
it seems like there's been a misunderstanding in regards to my patreon; there is no tier that ensures a specific chapter of a fic is updated within a specific time frame. that would be a commission, which is explicitly listed as a reward for my $30 tier, because those take a lot more time + energy for me.
my $12 patreon tier offers early access to my writing, and the ability to request future chapters be moved up on my to-do list, through polls + priority continuation requests. i can't guarantee any specific chapter update in a month, and i'll explain why.
currently, i have over 50 total WIP fics being worked on. each month, i get around 25 chapter update requests. even assuming that each chapter is 2k, my usual minimum chapter length, i would have to write 50,000 words every single month. if i had the capability for that kind of regular output, i would be churning out books like stephen king instead of constantly struggling for my usual monthly 10-15k like a chump lol.
in essence, don't subscribe to my patreon for a specific story unless you know the next chapter for it is already up there. which it is, because i eventually got to your request. and it'll eventually be up on the blog for free. and during the months you spent subscribed to my patreon, you received at minimum tens of thousands of words of content.
finally, an earnest request: please stop acting like twelve dollars is an exorbitant fee when i'm literally making pennies per word written. like, i could have worked a single 8 hour shift at mcdonalds in texas for minimum wage instead and i would have ended up with $8 more than you paid me for four months of many hours of dedicated work.
(not even a joke: 7.25 x 8 = 58.)
in conclusion, i am a human person with feelings, just like every other writer on this site. please take a moment to remember that when sending asks in the future
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anonzentimes · 2 months ago
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Hi, Zen!
I've recently been searching for and listening to Super Dangan Radio, the internet radio show Spike Chunsoft aired from July to December 2012 to promote DR2. In the 8th episode, I found an interesting comment that Megumi Ogata made about Komaeda, so I wanted to share it with you.
At the beginning of each episode, there’s a segment where Ogata reads messages from listeners. One listener, who had completed Super Danganronpa 2 and was on a second playthrough, wrote: “Komaeda-kun's actions, which seemed mysterious and unpredictable at first, clearly conveyed his unwavering beliefs on my second playthrough. (ミステリアスで先が読めない行動ばかりに思えた狛枝くんの振る舞いも2周目だと一貫した彼の信念がビシバシ伝わってきました)” Ogata responded, “Thank you for understanding. He’s not just any yandere, you see. Haha. (おわかりいただいてありがとうございます。ただのヤンデレじゃありません。はい。あはは。)"
This comment surprised me because neither the listener nor anyone else mentioned the term yandere, yet Ogata brought it up herself to say that Komaeda isn’t one. I wondered if she had seen people referring to Komaeda as a yandere elsewhere, like on Twitter, and felt this was a misunderstanding. Hearing her say this helped me connect the dots. In the Ultra Despair Girls art book, Ogata remarked about Servant, “I was especially careful at the beginning of the recording because he is often misunderstood, and I myself establish his character on the edge of a delicate line. (勘違いされがちであり、私自身も微妙なギリギリのライン上で成立させているキャラクターなので、収録の冒頭、とくに丁寧に臨みました。)” I initially wondered what she meant by “misunderstanding,” but her radio comment clarified that it’s probably the assumption that Komaeda is a yandere that she sees as mistaken.
When I realized this, I thought I should tell you about it because I remembered you mentioning that you didn't think Nagito was a yandere, so I thought Ogata's comment about it was significant.
If you or anyone else would like to hear her comment, you can find the listener’s message around 02:21 in the following video, and Ogata’s response at about 02:48: https://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm25784808
Some episodes of Dangan Radio are available as CDs, but this one isn’t, so it can only be heard on recordings still available online 😢. She speaks pretty fast, so it might be hard to catch all her words, but I thought it might be helpful to hear how she expressed it, so I’m sharing it just in case.
I myself don’t see Nagito as a yandere, and while this might not be anything new, I thought you’d find it interesting that Ogata commented on it this way. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this little find—let me know what you think! Have a great day!
Thank you so much! I really appreciate you Asaka and I adore you sharing with me a find that I could never find myself due to the language barrier. From what I’ve seen Megumi Ogata has a very clear interpretation of who Nagito Komaeda is that feels very accurate and she’s passionate about it which adds to her voice acting for me. I’m glad to see that I’ve expressed something that is similar to her as I view her as someone who deeply understands the character.
The listener’s statement reminds me of one I’ve made myself that I usually return to when describing Komaeda, “Komaeda is like a language, at first you struggle to read it, but once you learn it’s all that you can see and you can never go back.” I think it perfectly encapsulates how on a first playthrough he may seem confusing, but on a second playthrough when you understand him you can see his words and understand what he means and feels better than anyone who was playing for the first time.
Thank you again for sharing! 💖
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inuhalfdemon · 9 months ago
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No One Can Know... (4/?)
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Word Count: 2,270
Chapter 4
"Meet me on your best behavior, meet me at your worst…" - Death Cab for Cutie
Wondering who-the-fuck-in-Hell would be there knocking this late at night; Lucifer opened his door. Seeing that it was, in fact, Alastor standing at his threshold with a seemingly pleasant smile across his face; Lucifer immediately bristled.
“What in fuck’s – wait. Is that wine?” Lucifer peered behind Alastor’s waist; seeing his separated shadow clasping a large bottle of Riesling and a pair of wine glasses.
“Yes. I thought it might pair well with our…discussions. May I?” Alastor asked him, politely.
“…yeah, ok.” Lucifer stepped aside; letting him in.
Alastor stepped inside; his shadow following close behind. The shadow paused briefly beside Lucifer; offering him the bottle. Lucifer took it, and the shadow swept further inward to be closer to Alastor. Looking at the label; Lucifer closed the door.
“Where in Hell did you get this!?”
“I don’t just deal in souls; your grace.” Alastor told him. “And I’m rather partial to a rare vintage every now and again. This one has been made ready for us to enjoy.”
“No shit. Damn.” Lucifer led him to a small suite; directing him and his shadow to some plush chairs and an ornate table for them to recline by. There were less rubber ducks and circus trinkets scattered throughout here than were piled in his work-room. Alastor didn’t seem to pay much attention to the surrounding room though; his gaze never straying across items, walls, furniture, etc. He was very focused on his business here.
Alastor’s shadow; taking the bottle from Lucifer – opened it and began pouring wine into the two glasses. Alastor and Lucifer both sat down. Lucifer reached across for his wine glass; then leaning back he asked:
“So…what the fuck do you want to talk about?”
“I’m sure you are well aware of the subject matter that I wish to address with you tonight.” Alastor said; taking his own glass from the table and gently swirling the liquid. His shadow excused itself into a dark corner nearby.
“Hm…how forthright of you. You seem to be in a more…agreeable…mood tonight than you were yesterday.”
“The extermination is merely a couple months away…I had hoped that I might avoid having to address my…“rut” until sometime after, but I’m afraid that won’t be the case.” Alastor explained. “I’d like to discuss the best…approach to the problem; if you are so inclined.”
“Uh, huh.” Lucifer said dismissively. “So, what exactly are we discussing then?”
“I’m afraid that the effects of the cycle will greatly influence my duties in safeguarding Charlie and the hotel. During that time, I won’t be getting much sleep and –“
“Do you actually sleep?” Lucifer interrupted, prodding him.
“Yes.” Alastor answered him honestly. “Maybe not as much as most but I do require a reasonable amount.”    
 “I must have really taken the wind out of your sails.” Lucifer tipped his glass to his lips. “I didn’t anticipate you coming here and being so candid with me.”
“Yes, well, I can admit when I’ve made an ass of myself.” Alastor allowed.
Knowing this was as close to an apology as he was liable to get; Lucifer stated: “Well, I won’t say that I’m sorry. If anything, I think I should have gutted you sooner.”
Lucifer waited for Alastor to make a quip at that but then; he said nothing. Instead, he raised his own glass to sip from – offering no comment.
Interesting.
“Ok, so I assume you are wanting to formulate some plan going forward, is that it?” Lucifer clarified.
“Indeed. Initially, I preferred the idea of you safely displacing me from the hotel until I cycled out but, the timing is not ideal. There’s too much to be done and I don’t like the idea of leaving the hotel unguarded for any extended length of time.”
“Ah, lock you away in a tower just like you’re Rapunzel and I’m the dragon.” Lucifer japed; unable to help himself.
“I don’t recall a dragon in that particular fairy tale.” Alastor remarked.
Lucifer nearly choked on his wine. “The fuck do you know about fairy tales!?”
Alastor shrugged then waved him off; “Essentially…I suppose, but it’s not a good solution; not now.”
“Oh?” Lucifer absently traced a sharp claw around the rim of his wine glass. “How long do these things usually last for you, anyway?”
“You are somewhat familiar with Cervidae demons, yes? You’ve commented on it once before. We are commonly known for our deer-like tendencies. One very prominent one being that we experience fluctuating periods of cyclic mating periods or “the rut”. There’s a lot that gets rather muddled with it though; it’s confusing even for us demons that experience it because each and every individual is different in the timing, frequency or intensity of their own personal mating cycles.”
“Sounds frustrating.” Lucifer offered.
“It…is. I never know when a rut will happen or for how long. I can usually tell when one is approaching due to certain…changes. Even now though; I know one is coming I just don’t know when. I could start the cycle tomorrow or in a couple of weeks; it’s terribly inconvenient. Judging by personal experience; my cycles range anywhere from part of a day to several weeks. Unfortunately; avoidance is what lengthens the period. If I…sate, the need and rather quickly, the period tends to be much less.”
“So what if I contact Asmodeus? I’m sure we could find you some willing participant from the lust ring to fulfill whatever needs you need satiating.” Lucifer suggested. “He might even have another Cervidae in mind.”
Alastor shook his head. “I’m not comfortable with that. I assume when you offered and agreed to our deal that it was implied that you would be the actual one to…manage this. I’m afraid now it might have to be quite literal. Lilith wasn’t wrong in saying that I’ve killed other demons during my rutting. After your explicit demonstration yesterday; I am confident you would be well equipped in governing my actions.”
 “Honestly, I meant it in whatever way you wish to take it. I’m no prude.” Lucifer shrugged; tipping his glass. “While we’re on the subject though; I’d really like to know –“
“If you are referring to my moment of sexual homicidal infamy; I’d rather not discuss it.”
Lucifer very much wanted to prod more into it; but, he could see that Alastor was making a great effort here in being professionally courteous. Which led him to his next question;
“So, what exactly is your deal with all of this?” Lucifer asked him; setting his wine glass down now. “You’re here pitching off your plans to me like we’re discussing something terribly unpleasant. I get that you might think sex is beneath you; or rather you’d prefer you didn’t need it but, c’mon…if you have to go through it anyway, why not own it and enjoy it?”
“You misunderstand. It’s not my perception of sex that has anything to do with it.” Alastor told him. “I simply don’t…care for it.”
“What?”
“Apart from when I am in rut; it holds no interest to me.”   
“None? Whatsoever, just….nothing?” Lucifer gaped at him.
“Truly.”
“So, you just can’t get it up unless you are in one of your rut thingy’s?” Lucifer was trying to make sense of this.  
“Not exactly…” Alastor huffed. “With enough effort; stimulation and finding the right mindset – sure…but, it doesn’t just happen. It’s really and truly something I don’t care to think about or pursue, otherwise.”
“I can’t…I can’t wrap my head around that. I mean I-I could fuck anything that moves. Not that I really would but, well…you know.” Lucifer shrugged.
“No…actually, I don’t.” Alastor reaffirmed.
“So, do you – do you like know what you want to actually like…do?” Lucifer asked him.
“How do you mean?” Alastor’s ears slightly leant back; whether it was him being uncomfortable by the question or a display of true confusion; Lucifer couldn’t tell.
“Mutual masturbation? Oral? Anal? What have you?” Lucifer threw out.
Alastor’s ears stiffened; pressing further back. Definitely discomfort.   
“When I’m in in rut; I’m sure anything and everything will be open and on the table.” He sighed.
“So do you like, turn into an even bigger asshole when your rutting?”
“No, not quite…that more tends to happen to the time leading up to it.” Alastor was telling him; briefly remembering his friend Rosie dismissing him from a brunch they were having in Cannibal Town once telling him: “come back after your damn rut; honestly, you’re worse than a woman!” He couldn’t remember details; only that he was terribly aggravating to her that day.
Meanwhile; Lucifer was waging an internal battle. So, you were PMS-ing yesterday? He very badly wanted to say it…he very nearly did, but he reigned it in; feeling it prudent to continue with the good footing they had established here.
“It’s more that I’m…” Alastor was continuing with his answer. “I’m just – Well, I can be a lot in those moments.”
The Radio Demon promises a good time… Lucifer thought, then he asked:
“Ok, so circling back. When or where are we going to…hash this all out?”
“I’m naturally crepuscular; and I’m generally more nocturnal in my activities. I can easily manage myself during the day. If we spend too much time at the hotel; even in my radio tower – we run the risk of being found out or discovered. If I spend too much time here or elsewhere; it leaves the hotel vulnerable. I propose we go back and forth; it won’t be so different to my normal activities – no one would think to question it at this point – and I have Niffty and Husker established so that if anything were to happen while I’m away; I’d know and can be there almost immediately.”
“Hm…yes, that might be wise. We can always tell Charlie that you and I buried the hatchet, as it were, and are meeting to discuss ideas with how best to proceed with the upcoming exterminations. She’ll wish to be included – of course – but if I tell her it’s something you and I are bonding or getting to know each other over; she’ll let it be.”   
“How…very manipulative of you.” Alastor commented; ears perking up. He was…impressed.
“Yes, well…” Lucifer reached back for his wine; lost for a moment in his thoughts. Then leaning back in his chair again; he offered:
“You’ve been very…frank with everything tonight. Do you have any questions you wish to ask me?”
“This meeting Charlie has with Heaven…do you think it will accomplish anything?” Alastor had in fact; been holding onto some questions.
“No.” Lucifer told him bluntly. “I don’t but, Lilith foresaw Charlie asking me to arrange it. I’m not…comfortable with it but Lilith will be there – Charlie won’t know that, of course – but it’s the only reason why I’d allow my daughter to go up there without my being there with her.”
“Do you think Lilith will succeed with her plans?” Alastor asked him, wanting to know. “Do you think that she can actually overthrow Heaven?”  
“If anyone; it would be her.” Lucifer finished off his glass; Alastor’s shadow quickly slid out from the corner to refill it for him. Lucifer nodded to it, taking a sip as it shifted itself back away. “She’s been planning this for some time now, making sure everything falls into just the right place at just the right time. The only hiccup we’ve ran into was you slipping yourself between the cracks but maybe that was fortunate for us – it remains to be seen.” He gave Alastor a hard look.
“If I get what I want from this, I’ll be as beneficial to your cause as I possibly can.” Alastor told him. “But, why are you choosing to do this? Weren’t you amiable toward Heaven; even after everything?”
Lucifer sighed. “Lilith has been with me through all of it…since the beginning. I’ve tried to make the amends to my mistakes; tried to make Heaven see that what we did…it wasn’t for the intentions that they thought. I’ve been fighting a losing battle for thousands upon thousands of years…Lilith stood by me; supported me all that time. Now, it’s time I stood by hers. We got nowhere with my plans and ideas for our future; so it’s time I supported hers.”
“How disgustingly devoted of you.” Alastor made a face and movement of his tongue; like he had actually tasted something terrible.
Lucifer laughed. “That’s just who we are. We depend and rely on each other.”
“So…she really has no issues with…this? What you and I are going to be doing?” Alastor asked him; wondering. “Call me ‘old fashioned’; but I’d hate to come between a man and his wife.”
“Lilith never would have agreed to it if she had reservations.” Lucifer told him. “She wasn’t lying when she told you that our relationship has been…unconventional, at times.”
“Hm…” Alastor remembered his wine and sipped from the glass.
“How long has it been for you anyway?” Lucifer asked him. “I’ll be coming out of a bit of dry spell myself; Lilith tends to get focused on other things when they’ve claimed her interest and I haven’t found much motivation in seeking out an outlet.”
“Years?” Alastor though. “Very nearly a decade, maybe.”
“Fuck.” Lucifer blurted. “You’ve got me beat then. You weren’t kidding when you said these mating cycles of yours were unpredictable.”
“Also part of the reason that I’m relying on you…specifically. I’m not sure just how…enthusiastic I might be.”
“Oh, don’t worry – my King.” Alastor fixed him with a sharp gaze. “You will know.”
“So, how will I know that you are in rut?” Lucifer questioned him.
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Scene inspired by: @applepartysins fanart/comic here
Chapter 5
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cursorcomets · 1 month ago
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Re: The discourse
I really don’t want to speak over anybody, I just want clarification and believe discourse is necessary for justified understanding.
I am very confused with a lot of the discourse i’ve seen today, and this confusion itched curiosity which became answers which then lead to further confusion.
Firstly, I have nothing but sympathy for anybody unable to bridge their connection with dan and phil through their tour. It makes me so upset knowing there’s so many people (knowingly the largest areas of fans), unable to see them in person because of external factors, outside of their controls. My sympathy is shared with my privilege in my other hand.
If we act in good faith, we also understand this is also very upsetting to dan and phil, from what they have said regarding the unjustified barriers they’ve tried to get past. They want to meet their fans, we know this from the generosity they extend to these issues, even ones out of their control. If that means hosting the equivalency of two meet and greets in one day due to ticket mishap, or their willingness to sacrifice their own discomfort for the sake of transparent fairness. It would be questionable to claim they do not genuinely care about their supporters, and when able, demonstrate that to the extent possible.
Obviously they cannot and should not go without criticism. They have, and will make mistakes, holding them to their mistakes is also important, and their responses to most of community concerns demonstrates it matters to them as well. They don’t want to upset or offend us. I believe they value our opinion, hold our viewpoints very high and want to set some kind of example of these beliefs. Could they do more? of course. At the end of the day, it breaks my heart to acknowledge, they are middle aged white men from England.
I also think it’s so important to acknowledge the raw realities they have shared with us, being their humanness, authenticity and vulnerability they have given us access to for 15 years. In the face of the mass scale personal intrusion they have sacrificed for our benefit, we have to acknowledge they are at their core deeply human. This point sounds cliche but i fear the desensitising of it only causes harm.
As dan said in his most recent reply, “to some extent i think i should be allowed grace to process being told my existence is not welcome.”
He further goes onto explain the importance of being sensitive with his platform. This is what i feel is at the core of this discourse.
There is so much nuance within discussing the careful line between expression of his lived experience, and minimising the extent of these vocal frustrations against his responsibility as a lighting rod of hope for so many.
His original reply which initiated the discourse, in relation to touring in asia, “we tried but the governments said no homo”.
Although later clarified is true, caused a lot of upset to many people. I am in no place to invalidate those feelings, and do not mean too. Those directly affected by this comment are more than entitled to feel this way. I do not want to touch that issue, my confusion comes from issues that exist outside of the topic specifically.
More so, the power of assumption and trust. I acknowledge it may be easier for me to detach and adjudicate situations from the outside of an issue due to privilege. I have tried to consume most of the opinions from those at the core of the issue. It seemed there was an assumption this statement of his was decidedly the single and final statement regarding asian tour dates. If that was true, it would be deeply unprofessional and disloyal to those fans affected. His statement now reads as truth masked through frustrated tone in response to hurt at the expense of himself and asian fans. As he since explained further, this sentiment is correct. Where my confusion lies, is the immediate jump to action, the accusatory labels and immediate conclusion his intent was malicious, consciously or not. I do get it, we should not carelessly trust people we only know parasocially. His statement was no more embellished than the acknowledgment of a massive factor to his answer to the initial question. The tone of his reply is where we have to apply nuance to the real life implications. The reality is, they were subjected to censoring on the basis of their sexuality. This does not take away from the lived experience of lgbt people in those countries. He acknowledged and apologised for not clarifying sooner, however the discourse of the initial reply is swallowing the larger sentiment, this is deeply upsetting to both dnp and those missing out on the tour. To find malice in his personal processing of discrimination, when his initial statement at its core was coping at his own expense doesn’t make sense to me with these points applied.
I do not disagree with sentiments expressed by those affected by this, or saying that there is absolutely no reason for any critique. I want to listen, I want to support those affected, but i want to do this with total comprehension and understanding. I can’t thoughtlessly defend something without reason. I also take umbridge with SOME people weaponising their ignorance or purposeful incompetence to be bullies, whether to defend dan or attack him. It’s incredibly translucent the people that jump to the occasion in bad faith, taking away significance from actual well intended intelligent opinions. If you’re using this as an opportunity to be racist or regina george, you don’t care about the crusade your fighting, you are simply miserable.
If anyone disagrees or thinks im missing something please let me know! Im more than happy to have a conversation, its not your responsibility to educate me but Im more than happy to listen! Please be no meaner than justified haha.
Peace & Love,
Aimee
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doumadono · 1 year ago
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you're a fucking bitch for not accepting emergency requests during christmas time. selfish cunt. I hope you rot in hell, fucking pig
Initially, I had half a mind to ignore this message, you know, let it drift into the abyss of unread notifications. But then, on the flip side, I figured it might be worth my precious time to drop a line or two and enlighten you on a couple of things.
About six months ago, I graciously introduced emergency requests as a feature on my blog. Since then, I've effortlessly tackled nearly 80 emergency requests, rejecting just one which contained explicit content. I'm consistently available when others need to let off steam, doing my utmost to lend a listening ear and offer advice.
You see, I'm practically donating my personal time to craft these requests and provide a dash of solace to those desperately in need of it. I want to clarify that my availability to fulfill requests may be limited during certain times, including holidays, due to personal commitments or high demand.
Listen up, you self-righteous hypocrite. Calling me names just because I need a bit of time for myself? That's some next-level hypocrisy right there :) Thanks to folks like you, I'm seriously contemplating shutting down emergency requests as the new year kicks in.
In case you haven't noticed, I've got a truckload on my plate. I'm waging a freaking war against leukemia, juggling the responsibilities of raising kids, and still, I manage to get back to work to help my patients going through awful situations. And what do I get in return? Your snide remarks? Bitch please.
I usually brush off stupid comments, but your words hit a nerve today. I bust my ass to aid others, often when I'm feeling worse than low. Am I being selfish now? Damn right I am. But who can blame me?
As for those emergency requests, who the heck knows? The decision will be made by the end of the year. Right now, I'm feeling lower than low, and I don't have the time or patience to deal with this crap. So, do me a favor and save your judgment for someone who gives a damn. If you're feeling a bit Grinchy, maybe a cup of cocoa or some jolly tunes will do the trick.
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ct-hardcase · 1 month ago
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I was originally going to put my thoughts on where I'm at with Avar and Elzar's relationship right now, but it was getting very long for a tag rant, so here we go.
Before I get into what I get into, I do want to say there was a moment in Tempest Breaker where Avar said some very harsh words to Keeve (which were imo unwarranted and hypocritical), then in a later scene, Avar clarifies that she and Elzar talked it over, he helped her realized her comments were unwarranted and hypocritical, and she apologized to Keeve. This moment of the two actively making the others better helped boost what Temptation was trying to go for imo, and I did enjoy that, and it makes the dynamic feel very solid and lived-in, as opposed to the honeymoon phase of a romance.
That being said, though they do make each other better, there's a disparity in the support systems outside each other, with Elzar maintaining friendships with Lina, Bell, Burryaga, among a few others I'm forgetting.
Conversely, due to Avar's jaunt in the Occlusion Zone, she's grown apart from most of the people she'd maintained friendship with in Phase I, or they died on Starlight Beacon. It's not like she doesn't have friends, but her story hasn't focused on them (aside from Rhil and Belin), and mostly stayed in the scope of her endeavors with Elzar until her recent mission in Tempest Breaker (which also included Elzar whenever she wasn't in the OZ itself).
To a degree, I think there is some underlying sexism in how their writing played out in this phase. It's a neat character arc that Elzar starts the initiative as a relatively shut-in introvert reticent to work with other people, and is ending it spread almost too thin between working with the Chancellor, Council, the OZ border efforts, and attempts to breach/communicate with the OZ. However, contrasting this against Avar, where she spends most of her year in the OZ alone (thinking of how to get back to Elzar), albeit saving people and becoming a beacon of hope, and then upon her return, is catapulted into a story about their romance before finally getting a story primarily involving others in Tempest Breaker 2/3 of the way into the Phase puts a bad taste in my mouth (not to mention, Elzar is allowed to be in other stories than the main adult novels. Due to the insularity of the stories in this Phase, Avar doesn't get nearly as much of that).
However, though my thoughts that this is a somewhat sexist direction still hold (especially given the feminization of Avar/masculization of Elzar taking place in their designs throughout, which is a whole other post), the fact that Avar's isolation is consistent across George Mann, Tessa Gratton, and Cavan Scott makes me wonder if this is also a character trait that may be relevant to the plot of Trials of the Jedi toward the end of the phase. This is evidenced by Avar's Nameless-induced vision of losing Elzar clocking in at one of her worst fears, and the fact that their romance has been going a bit too perfectly for me to think it won't be tested in the final novel. I will go fully cards on the table and say that Avar is my favorite between the two and I want her to be okay/would appreciate having more stories where she gets to be separate from Elzar if that's possible going forward, but in terms of "who will spiral the most when they lose the other", I feel like she's the clear contender if she keeps putting her non-Elzar peers at an arm's length.
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sgiandubh · 1 year ago
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I actually am a shipper so I wasn’t trying to make the rounds to stir shit. I haven’t been around for too long only about 2 years or less. I just got upset when I saw the Getty pictures of Sam’s hand on Eleanor’s hip and hand on her back and then the fan pictures and video too of his hand on her back and giving her hug made me start to question everything since he does that with Cait too. I’m sorry for giving the wrong impression.
But I took a little time to reflect and remembered videos and images we got of Sam and Cait from Outlander promo this year. Between the moments at 92Y where Sam gave Cait a kiss on her temple and rubbed her back as well as the end when posing with Sophie in Rik. To the looks and knowing glances he gave her during interviews and even giving her a pat on the leg I believe in one interview. I overreacted initially and now that I put things into perspective, I can see the difference. There’s an intimacy and connection between Sam and Cait that comes across in promo that isn’t there with Eleanor.
Sorry again for coming across the wrong way. I truly was just looking for some reassurance initially
Dear (returning) Weary and Distraught Anon,
That would be very strange, because it really (REALLY) looks very similar to an Anon @bat-cat-reader showed me perhaps ten minutes before you chimed in.
However, since this is a plausible deniability situation, please accept my apologies, even if I still am not 100% sure about you.
I was just writing a post about body language at tonight's BAFTA preview of TCND, but since you've made reasonable amends, I am including it here for you, Anon:
S&C at OL's S7 Premiere in New York, June 9, 2023:
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S & Tomlinson tonight:
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Please note the following:
Tomlinson is completely disengaged, watches confidently the press people in front of her. She does not smile. Translation: I am a woman who just showed the press, the PR people and potential employers my latest project. I am a pro. I am very married and I know this hunk belongs to someone else. I am only playing PR games in *urv's mind.
S does the same. He uses his left hand as a completely non-committal blocking shield. Colgate smile is somewhat too calibrated to be spontaneous, the result is pleasant (which is to say 'decent bordering on meh'). Translation: we are all buddies and I (S) hope you liked our wee series. I really, seriously enjoyed working with these people and I am relieved we were allowed to promote this series in the middle of the strike turmoil. My well-rehearsed Optimistic Gaze Nr. 4 hides very well my real thoughts, that even @sgiandubh can't telegraph to her readers. And these thoughts have nothing to do with being here (note to readers: above thoughts probably involve a living-room near GLA).
Alfred Enoch: he is the only relaxed person in this picture and the only one whose smile perfectly aligns with his eyes (both sincere, open and enthusiastic). His arms' position is completely natural. Translation: I am over the moon to be here, I managed to work during a really rough patch and I really hope someone has noticed me tonight. Maybe I'll get another gig soon. These people are my friends, but tonight, it's all about myself: it is me I am showing off, selling and promoting here. Hire me: I am the funny one.
Bonus (dotted arrow shows where S's gaze is directed):
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I think that needs no further comments. I rest my case, Anon.
Thank you for clarifying, I think you were brave to come back. Don't be a stranger, if I managed to not scare the bejesus out of you, yet.
PS: who knew my Business Intelligence uni credits would come in so handy, in the most unlikely of situations?
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lunalikesalotofstuff · 7 months ago
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so the mutant mayhem series...
look im happy to get another show and im open to watching it and i will give it a chance.
but some stuff in the trailers really rubs me the wrong way.
april saying "isnt your whole thing a costume" in reference to ...just their bodies is icky and im dissapointed her kinda being mean to them is gonna continue. like- its not an initial shock thing like with 2003 and 2012 april its just "sure we're friends but im gonna call out how different you are even though your WHOLE goal is to fit in and be accepted.". i like her design and her story seems interesting and i hope she gets a real arc unlike a lot of aprils but like- the comments are un-necessary and it feels like shes making fun of them instead of being a supportive friend. [if theres an episode where the guys get fed up and talk to her, possibly having a lesson about expressing to your friends when youre uncomfortable with what they do then ill be overjoyed because that message NEEDS to be in kids shows and it would clarify april just didnt know it bothered them and would tone it down because she doesnt wanna hurt her friends]
in a trailer the others got praise and when it was mikeys turn someone was like "oh what do you do?" and mikey doesnt have a real answer. as a mikey fan i just cannot stand the constant dismissal he gets. if the series is gonna expand on that and take it seriously im totally in though.
i didnt mind the movie artstyle. its not something i enjoy and it kinda gave me a headache in theaters but objectivly there is nothing weong with it and a lot of work and talent was put into it. the show style is...ehhh? i dont like it. i dont hate it. i dont really enjoy the color palette. its not appealing to me and an art style can really change how much i enjoy a show.
and why does leo sound so much older. i cant be the only one hearing that right? like i know thats fairly standard for the shows but the movie had all this hype about the guys sounding and acting their age so???
and structure wise i feel like this is going to feel more like kim possible and spiderman instead of tmnt? cause like ...a HUGE part has always been theyre a secret and they work in the shadows cause theyre ninjas and now theyre just in the open. im ok with change- all franchizes NEED to change and adapt but im not gonna get hopeful till i see it done well int he actual show
speaking of that this is a reminder i by no means think the show will be bad. i want it to be awesome and fun and make its mark like other tmnt shows and films have! i just had to get this off my chest cause it was bothering me. im sure the show WILL be good cause i havent watched a tmnt show i outright disliked yet. the trailers just rubbed me the wrong way.
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emeryhiro · 1 year ago
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My thoughts on the 'The Book of Carol' NYCC Press Conference
I really enjoyed the press conference; they spoke more about season 2 than what was covered during the live audience panel.
There were some clarifications and interesting comments made, and I just want to mention some of them here, specifically the ones about Daryl/Carol and Norman/Melissa.
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Firstly, I loved the initial comment by Norman, confirming what a lot of us have all been thinking, which was that:
"She [Carol] feels something's wrong. They have that kind of bond, where there's a lot of unspoken things that are said... the bonds that we made in the flagship show are still very strong. She [Carol] can take care of herself, of course... but the bond just keeps getting stronger and stronger. He [Daryl] wants to go home but can't leave it like this. He's just not that guy."
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The timeline of Melissa's involvement with the show:
When asked to clarify the timeline of when Melissa got on board/back on board with the show, Norman answered,
"She was on board since before the first script came out, and you know media says this and social media says that, and I literally told the truth; she's been here since day one."
I felt really bad here at how much hate he has been getting from some people, just because of this misunderstanding. I could hear the hurt in his voice when he said he was telling the truth.
Gimple then added that they just wanted to hide her so the audience would experience the surprise of her return in the finale and how they were shocked by how many people showed up at La Defense and spotted Melissa filming after they worked so hard to try and hide her presence in France.
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Norman and Melissa's scenes that have already been shot for S2:
Norman confirmed that Melissa only filmed a little bit without him and that they have since filmed a bunch together in multiple locations, but not in exact chronological order, which I'm so happy about because now that we know that they have finished filming 3 episodes of the show, and have 3 to go, this could imply that we'll be getting the Caryl reunion very early in the season.
I was a little sad when Zabel talked about Melissa's first day on set:
"She was very excited to come back to play the character again, but... everyone around her was different like there was nobody there that she knew (except for Greg and Zabel)."
I really hope this means that they took extra good care of her and made sure she was comfortable and had everything she needed.
Norman confirmed he wasn't there for her first day, but I can understand that, especially if (I suspect) they made a choice to not see each other on set before filming Carol and Daryl's reunion scene so that it's as authentic as possible.
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Norman and Melissa's agency as executive producers:
They confirmed that both Norman and Melissa are involved in their characters' storytelling and that there's a lot of collaboration between Norman & Melissa and also between them and the writers. I was so happy to hear Zabel say:
"We'd be fools not to rely on actors who know these characters as well as they do... it's kind of a gift because they know so much about who they are already; you wanna build on that, you don't want to get stuck and stagnated on that."
That's all we've been asking for, let Norman and Melissa lead!
No one knows Carol and Daryl as well as they do. They lived inside their minds for 12+ years; they brought them to life and made them the characters/duo that we love so much, and only they truly understand what Carol and Daryl mean to each other, what they want, and what they need.
I was particularly happy to hear Zabel say that he sat down with Melissa from very early on and asked her about where she thinks Carol needs to go next and what are the things that are unresolved with her. All I need from the season 2 writing is to show that her voice was heard and that her ideas were considered and properly implemented into Season 2.
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Overall, this all sounds really promising to me, although I'd still like to hear some of these things from Melissa rather than everyone speaking on her behalf.
I'd love to know what you guys think about all this, and I've linked the full press conference below for your own reference.
[full press conference] - audio only
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yutasbellybuttonpiercing · 5 months ago
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– concerning the jaehee post for kinktober –
after receiving this ask, i felt a bit uneasy. i understand the concerns and have decided to not write it, or to generally write smut for nct wish members at all (especially not for ryo and sakuya, but that's obviously a given). after seeing the results after almost a hundred votes (about 55% in favor of writing it and 45% against it), i feel uncomfortable myself about writing it.
nevertheless, i would once again like to clarify why i initially considered it to clear up any misunderstanding.
i first learned about jaehee shortly after the drop of the hands up mv. back then, jaehee was already a legal adult. i have not watched their survival show (where he might have been underaged? i'm not sure since i didn't watch it). i didn't follow their activities until their official debut on february 28th 2024. by then, jaehee had been an adult for quite a while, so i wasn't even thinking about it being a problem.
and yes, i am, in fact, 5 years older than him, but that fact didn't cross my mind either since i wasn't looking to for example date him (obviously?? 😭) but only to write a piece of fiction about him to entertain others and be creative.
i did not mean to cause any harm. the sexualization or grooming of minors is a huge problem that i find inexcusable whatsoever. that's probably what was most shocking about the ask and i might even have felt a little attacked. now i have reflected on the issue and see that i should not write (smut) for the wish members as it might make a good amount of people uncomfortable, and i don't want that. i want my blog to be a safe space for everyone, and that cannot be achieved if i don't reflect after receiving such a comment.
thank you for everyone voting, and thanks to anon for pointing it out.
i hope you all have a great rest of your day, and i hope this helped clear things up!
much love,
ybbp 🧡
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mookymilksims · 3 months ago
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Hello everyone,
I wanted to address the situation regarding Sisilou. They have blocked me and deleted all their comments on my post. I had offered to delete my original post and even suggested creating a follow-up to clarify things. Unfortunately, they did not respond to either offer, which gives me the impression that their actions were not genuine. However, that’s not the main point of this message.
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I've also reached out to bellakenobi, who is behind the xto3conversions account mentioned below.
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You might be wondering why I questioned their intent. The reason is that I blocked bellakenobi's main account over a year ago due to some passive-aggressive behavior I had noticed since then. I didn’t want to dwell on that here to minimize drama; I just want to focus on the issue at hand.
I only discovered that xto3conversions was bellakenobi’s account after tagging her in an upload two weeks ago. I noticed that everyone else I tagged reblogged the post except for her. This led me to investigate, and I found out it was her account. It seems she is upset with me for blocking her, and her actions of not sharing my work appear to be intentional. That’s fine; I have blocked this account as well.
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The screenshots below show that bellakenobi hearted Sisilou’s post after I publicly called it out. The first screenshot provides evidence of the number of notes, the second shows her hearting the post, and the third shows her reblogging it under xto3conversions several hours later. This pattern makes it clear to me that her intent is malicious, though I initially gave her the benefit of the doubt.
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After reaching out, I waited about an hour to see if she would respond, as she was active shortly after my message. Instead, she chose to ignore me. When I tagged her previously, she also ignored my tags to reblog my work. This behavior continued when Sisilou reblogged my work, which violated my terms of use, and bellakenobi subsequently reblogged it as well.
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A creator friend of mine has reached out to Sim-Songs (aka Simfluencer-Network) to request the removal of Sisilou’s tag as the creator or, ideally, to remove the post entirely. It won’t surprise you to know that I’ve also blocked that account a few months ago.
I have already asked pierrotccfinds why they reblogged this as sisilou's work, but when I found out this was mdpoodles ccfinds blog, I quickly knew I was not going to get an answer or any deletion out of respect for me, in fact, she reblogged this as sisilou's work intentionally to spite me, before I even called it out (mspoodle has great disdain towards me, again, while I can prove it, I want to minimize drama).
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They were online all day yesterday and this morning, and still have not responded or removed the post or even corrected their creator tag.
I can only come here to show my efforts: it seems they are all ignoring me, understand the situation, and do not care.
If you feel inclined to ask them to remove the post out of respect for all creators, that would be much appreciated. If not, I understand; at least I’ve tried to address the issue. I have to stand on my callout from yesterday, because if I don't address this behavior today, they will do something else tomorrow.
Thank you for reading and I hope you understand.
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thesilliestrovingalive · 2 months ago
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(Hi, can I get an explanation on what Metal Slug is? I’ve never heard of this series before and you seem really interesting in it :3)
It's a bit complicated, but I'll do my best to summarise it...
Metal Slug is a multimedia video game franchise originally created by Nazca Corporation before they merged with SNK in 1996. It initially started as a run and gun series, but has expanded into other genres like tower defence. The latest game is Metal Slug Tactics and it's the first turn-based tactics game for the entire franchise. The game franchise is named after its titular tankette, the SV-001 "Metal Slug".
The games focus on the Regular Army and their two main special forces: the Peregrine Falcons Squad, an elite strike force, and the S.P.A.R.R.O.W.S., an intelligence division. The main protagonists of Metal Slug are Marco Rossi, Tarma Roving, Eri Kasamoto, and Fio Germi. Once Metal Slug 6 rolls in, the Ikari Warriors from King of Fighters are introduced into the franchise and they serve as the Regular Army's elite mercenaries. The Regular Army and their elite special operatives are often in war against the Rebel Army, led by the power-hungry General Morden, who intend on taking over the world to unite everyone under one government.
Following the initial game, Metal Slug: Super Vehicle-001, the franchise expanded its enemy roster to include zombies, mummies, mutants, and aliens. The primary antagonists in the Metal Slug series are the Rebel Army and the Martians. However, additional enemy groups are introduced as the mainline series progresses. Notably, two organisations and an alien species make singular appearances throughout the series:
Amadeus Syndicate (Metal Slug 4)
Ptolemaic Army (Metal Slug 5)
The Invaders (Metal Slug 6)
Although the mainline Metal Slug series and most of its canonical spin-offs are largely dialogue-free, the franchise has a rich narrative. I recommend checking out the timeline on the Metal Slug fandom wiki, which summarizes the storyline.
I hope this explanation clarifies everything. If you have any more questions, feel free to ask!
You can find a lil' thought on Metal Slug 3D in the comment section if you're interested!
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theyellowobsessedwriter · 5 months ago
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The brain said "cheesy and wholesome", but turns out I don't exactly know how to do that, lol. Take this as my best attempt at it.
Azutara Teashop AU, part 1 of maybe 5? 1793 words.
Not for all the tea in Ba Sing Se - Part 1
Azula had never held much appreciation for Ba Sing Se. In her eyes, the city's greatest quality was the corrupt and fragile system of government that had allowed her to pull off a coup d'état within a week, but that wasn't exactly something that could be admired and savored from the outside. Also, who knew if the puppet king had yet started to learn anything from the lessons that had been beaten into him.
Point was, Azula's opinion of the Earth Kingdom's capital wasn't likely to improve now, not when the perspective from which to look at it was that of the dilapidated streets around the teashop. She did enjoy the not-so-subtle irony in that both conquerors of the city were now behind a counter, serving its citizens… as much as that could improve her mood.
Working in the back of the shop, among whistling kettles and pastries to be baked, had at least the advantage of sparing her the sight of the former crown prince of the Fire Nation mingling with those he’d had the nerve to call "respectable customers". For all the obvious flaws the old man hardly made any effort to hide, the show of the Dragon of the West sinking so low would for sure affect her mental health in counterproductive ways. And they had already established during the initial days that Azula's talents did not lie in the front of the house.
Spirits help her understand what had gone through the minds of Zuzu and the Avatar when they’d proposed this probation agreement, but far be it from her to miss an opportunity of reducing by a year the time spent in that useless lunatic asylum. Though, to be honest, not having electrocuted her uncle when he’d commented that the experience would help her “turning over a new leaf”, should’ve been a sufficient display of self-restraint to grant her pardon on the spot.
She irritably rang the bronze bell for the third time, without anyone coming to take the tray from the pass. Instead, as if to mock her further, the old man's laughter resonated even louder in the room. Azula grabbed the order herself, almost throwing it onto table ten and then stomping towards her worm sloth of an uncle.
However, as soon as she got close enough to the booth, where he’d even allowed himself to sit down beside his consumers, she regretted ever having left the back. Because those people talking to her uncle weren't just any patrons, no. They were none others than the Southern Water Tribe siblings.
— … happy to finally be able to sit in the new shop and order something, — the girl was saying with a toothy smile.
— When I heard about your arrival, I really hoped that you’d manage to spare an hour to come and visit!
The first one to notice her was the peasant nonbender, at which point Azula realized that her time window for a strategic retreat had vanished. She approached the table, causing the conversation to suddenly die down, but she didn't spare the two foreigners another glance and simply said: — I'd like to remind you that we have other tables to take care of, uncle.
The two commoners kept staring at her. And there some who considered Azula to be the one who didn't know how to behave in social situations.
Her uncle's expression had become neutral as she saw her appear. — Of course. Would you be so kind as to take our guests' orders, then?
The Fire Nation princess opened her mouth to clarify that, first, she wasn't kind, and especially not so kind as to willingly humiliate herself in front of the Avatar's friends. Still, her uncle didn't wait to hear a single word and vanished with a speed that was supernatural for someone his size.
Azula blinked. Her gaze then fell back on the two guests, taking a moment to study them better. Both of them stood out like a sore thumb amidst the shop, dressed in blue and white as they were, though their fashion was embarrassingly basic for the role of war heroes and ambassadors which, she’d heard in passing, they had taken on. The boy (she couldn't remember his name. Suki? No, maybe Suki was someone else) had a few extra hairs on his chin that perhaps represented an attempt to grow a beard, but otherwise neither he nor his sister looked very different than the last time they met; the latter had only changed hairstyle, sporting her mane natural. A variation that suited her, noticed Azula's mortified-but-certainly-not-forgotten sense of taste.
Despite hating her own concern, the princess shuddered at what the pair of siblings must’ve been thinking of her right now. With her long, perfectly groomed hair a distant memory, wearing only a baggy green tunic and the shop apron, even the crumbling version of herself during the Agni Kai had appeared much better.
The waterbender had started to nervously fiddle with the menu, while her brother cleared his throat and began: — Well… long time no see, huh?
That lameness should’ve been far more illegal than any war crime the court had ever thought of charging Azula with.
— Welcome to The Jasmine Dragon, — she replied instead, choosing to hide behind the routine she’d memorized through her attempts at serving tables. — We are proud to serve the best tea in Ba Sing Se. Customer satisfaction is our priority, so take a minute to consider your options and all the combinations that the menu includes. If you would like to experiment with some variation, just ask and we will try to accommodate you.
Their expressions now turned into those of two people who just saw a nine-headed platypus bear appear in front of them. Her uncle hated that introduction she had written as well, but Azula remembered it being more or less what a waiter had recited the only time she'd set foot in a teashop, and it had been much classier a place than The Jasmine Dragon, so it had to count for something.
— Okay, um, — the waterbender muttered, scanning the menu. — I think I'll have…
— We also serve peach oolong as a seasonal specialty.
— Oh, right.
— So, Azula… — the other peasant interjected, sparing no thought for her rightful title — do tell, would you say it was a shock to adapt to life in Ba Sing Se?
She clenched her jaw. — … my uncle also recommends the lotus-flavored green tea.
— Wow, don’t you look crazy about this job? — This time he earned a jab from his own sister. — What?
— Really? — the girl hissed.
— Alright, let me just try something.
The southern native leaned toward Azula to wave a hand in front of her face, and her reflexes took over, slapping it away.
— Ouch! — he complained with a pout. — Well, thank goodness. I was wondering if Long Feng had brainwashed you into a Joo Dee or whatever.
The waterbender giggled behind her palm, and Azula only then realized that, at some point during the interaction, a forced smile worthy of the Dai Li's army of tour guides had appeared on her lips. That realization alone was enough for the corners of her mouth to turn downwards into a grimace.
— If you want to order something — she blurted out, in a harsh tone that invigorated her incredibly — just do it, or leave!
He gave her a pacifying gesture. — Easy, easy. That's what I was going to do anyway. Tea and cakes is not for me, I’d rather go check out the food stalls down the street. And you be careful with your order, you know what happens in teashops to unwanted customers, — he concluded, addressing his sister.
And with such words he left, although not before he shot Azula a glare that took her a couple of seconds to decipher as a warning.
She frowned a bit. — What in the spirits’ name was he referring to?
— I think he meant they spit in their tea.
— How barbaric. He should undoubtedly reconsider the places he frequents.
Now Azula received a curious look, only adding to her frustration.
— I guess some things never change, — the guest quietly said.
Perhaps. But the biggest revolution, one the Fire Nation’s princess had already had the opportunity to observe and of which she was seeing more and more confirmations around her, was that people no longer acted afraid of her. The distrust remained, but the fear had vanished. The truly disturbing fact seemed to be that she was already starting to get used to it.
— As for your order…
— Peach oolong sounds perfect.
— Any pastries?
— Um, only some butter cookies, if you have any.
— Obviously. — She risked giving the girl a sidelong glance. — Just try not to keep my uncle at the table. Even if it doesn't seem like it, he has work to do. — She was about to add: “If you intend to lounge, you can very well do it at home”, but, considering that uncle and niece now shared the same apartment, it would only mean more headaches for her.
— Ah, by the way… — the waterbender resumed as she handed her the menu. — It's Katara, from the Southern Water Tribe.
— What?
— My name, — the girl clarified, furrowing her brow.
It was Azula's turn to stare. — I know. Why do you feel the need to repeat it?
— You… Oh. I thought… I really believed you didn't remember. It's not as if, well, we were ever formally introduced.
— It’d be hard to miss your name, it's been tremendously popular in the last three years. — Along with her brother's… whatever it was. She may have learned it at some point during the war, but then it slipped from her memory once it had no more utility.
The gaffe seemed to make the waterbender blush, though it was slightly hard to tell with her complexion. Something about the whole situation didn't sit well with Azula's mind. The entire Avatar’s posse may indeed be made of insufferable, sappy do-gooders, but this girl acted far too calm and well-disposed towards her. And it was plain as day that she wasn’t the kind of person who’d be good at pretending.
— I'll go make your tea, — she announced, impatiently turning on her heel.
For a moment Katara looked like someone rapidly searching for an appropriate response to give but, with Azula's sudden parting, the reply never came.
The firebender made sure to use the menu to hit her uncle on her way to the kitchen, and regained a satisfied smirk when he almost fell flat over the table of the customers he was chatting with. After closure, she would reiterate the fact that she didn’t want to take orders again in her life. Not for all the tea in Ba Sing Se.
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