#i hope that makes sense and makes it a little easier to navigate our blog? the masterlist is probably the fastest way to do that

[femmefatalevibe]

hello, love!

i hope you remember me. i am that 16-year-old you helped navigate unhealthy hyperfixation regarding my famous, influencer/actor crush at school which i’m very grateful for. i gain a lot of self-compassion and i’m doing great really — had made to be part of the honor roll this term still :) — at least in that aspect of my life, i found the balance between my attraction and triggers to battle my insecurities. i really hope you’re not annoyed at my little drama at this point. i feel like it’s not even a big deal, why fuss so much about it? but i really felt safe opening this up with you through your amazing blog.

so now... i still didn’t make a move but at the end of the month (june), i plan to confess personally because it’s going to be the end of the school year and whatever is the outcome, i had a lot of time to focus on myself and everything’s going to be okay. but speaking of which, i’m kinda worried about because we never even had actual conversation. but i’m almost sure he knew me. through my friend who liked him of course. there was no progress between them and she actually started liking someone else months ago but they barely work out so whenever we’re at campus, i can still see her making excuses just to see him (my crush) though. we also have a couple of eye contacts so i hope that counts.

i am not denying in anyway that i am attracted to him, however, i do not intend to date him IF i actually have a chance with him. i just wanted to have closure and tell him how i feel and so i can move forward (assuming that it’s going to be the outcome given how transparent he is with his priorities and that is is his career) and i suppose it has to do with the fact that i am trying to heal and fix myself as well and not ready to commit to anything yet. i hope i make any sense.

i can’t stress enough how mortified i am just thinking about having to approach him but at the back of my thought it felt like i wanted him to know how i felt so bad. i think i’m going to pass out it sucks. i’m also worried because i feel like i’m betraying my friend who liked him.

overall, i just wanted to ask if am i doing the right thing? what can you suggest? should i still confess? how can i overcome this fear if you think it’s for the best? does this make me a bad friend? i really value your input given that you are the first one to even know this history.

btw, i hope you are doing well :) i genuinely miss interacting with you! i almost cried when you told me you feel like a proud aunt. i look up to you so much. ❤️

Hi love! I do remember you. So glad to hear that you're doing well, and congratulations on making the honor roll! That's a huge accomplishment. Hope that you're taking time to celebrate that <3

Please know that big emotions are SO normal at your age. Every conflict or new challenge feels like it's pivotal in our lives. Fortunately, these feelings mellow out over time as you begin to realize that all of these deadlines, intellectual stressors, and interpersonal relationships are constants – not exceptions – in our lives. Also, brain development and hormones affect this, so please don't be embarrassed. We've all been where you are now (speaking on behalf of myself and the women I know in our mid-late 20s). It doesn't get easier, but you learn how to manage these things. 16/17 is such a pivotal age that I thought this insight might be helpful.

From what you're sharing with me, it seems like his approval of your feelings will offer you some sort of social or romantic validation. This makes a lot of sense given his social credibility, but, especially if you're certain that you like your idealized perception of him versus him as an actual person, I think that it is worth journaling your feelings versus making a blind confession to him – both for the sake of your feelings and your friendship.

However, I do completely get that you want some form of closure to live without regrets. I think the best thing you can do for yourself is to humanize this crush of yours. Have you considered going up to him to give him a thoughtful compliment – whether on a cool jacket or something you enjoy from one of his videos? A genuine compliment is a near-foolproof social icebreaker that is undervalued when women are speaking to men (yet, we, as women, use it on each other all the time, lol). I've heard from several guys over the years that they don't get many specific compliments. So, I think this approach is a kind gesture and makes you more memorable.

Giving a compliment over a confession will save you a lot of petty drama if your friend takes your moment of truth the wrong way and protects your heart from a situation that you already stated is a means to an end. It gives you a chance to talk to him without seeming as though you overidealize his "celebrity" presence and allows the conversation to continue or taper off without leaving you emotionally raw or too vulnerable. The intention of the comment is simple to leave it open to interpretation and reads as perfectly innocent if no further actions are taken.

Just remember this sentiment you wrote for the challenges that lie ahead: "Whatever the outcome is, I had a lot of time to focus on myself and everything’s going to be okay." This is a golden truth to remember over the years (I'm still reminding myself this daily with no foreseeable end to this inner dialogue).

You're so sweet and doing great from everything you've told me!

Hope this helps! xx

[baravaggio]

(P.S I'm so sorry to send my cry for help on new years btw 😭 the final straw happened over the winter break and everything is just hitting me kind hard as the new year comes up and I look back on the time I spent with him. I love this dude but maybe we're incompatible! Idk!)

Hey there 💙 I'm going to attach my response to this follow-up ask instead of the original one you sent, just because I'm not sure if you'd want all those personal details shared to others on my blog

First of all, I don't think you're being unfair or blame-y at all - from what you've described, it seems that you have been more than patient and accommodating enough, and have obviously gone out of your way to ask for what you want/need, so I think your frustration is appropriate. Also, you're right that I'm no therapist, but I know how you feel - I won't get into details, but I have been in a relationship where mutual communication issues + neurodivergence + sexual incompatibility intersected and bred a lot of underlying resentment over time...I get how frustrated and sad you must be feeling. You're honestly way more self-aware about your situation than I was, so I'll tell you what I wish I knew when I was dealing with all that, but that I only figured out in the years after that relationship ended. I hope it can be of some help to you.

Before you approach him about any of this stuff, I'd encourage you to take a step back and get clear on what you want in a more general sense - not just in your relationship, but in your life. I'm going to guess, judging by the content of your ask, that you're in your early 20s max (sorry if I'm way off base). I think that one of the best things you can learn to do as an adult is to internalize the fact that you are in charge of setting your own priorities, of outlining what's important to you and what's going to make you feel fulfilled and happy. I know this all seems obvious as fuck, but the reality is that as we move from school to college to work/adult life, we get swept up in the responsibilities and demands of day-to-day life, and we don't get much space to proactively take a step back and reflect on these big picture things. Before you know it, you've been going with the flow and taking it one day at a time for years, to the long-term detriment of your needs and desires.

It's one thing to logically know that you should leave if you're unhappy, but it's another thing to really believe and act on that. In order to make decisions like that, it's immensely helpful to have to have a core set of priorities and principles to fall back on, ones that you have made up and are true to who you are and where you're going. That's why I think this should be your first step - it will make it a little easier to know what to do with your feelings, experiences, and his response to whatever conversation you do end up having about these issues. Ask yourself, what kind of life do I want to live? What are the aspects of my life that I cherish most? What are the things that are important for me to work on? What do I want to cultivate, and what do I want to leave behind?

Since your ask was mostly about navigating issues of sex and intimacy, I'll say that for me, embracing the fact that sex is a priority for me, that it's an important way through which I understand and engage with my body, physicality, gender, personhood, etc., has been hugely beneficial when it's come to making important decisions or advocating for myself in this area. Of course, you don't need to place this much importance on sex for healthy, happy, fulfilling sex to be a priority for you. You mentioned that you've stopped asking for what you want because his repeated rejection is making you feel pushy and unwanted. I think that as queer people we sometimes have a tendency to downplay the importance and specifics of our sexual wants & needs because we feel like we should be happy with whatever we can get. Give it enough time, and repeatedly settling for so much less than what we want can cause us a lot of emotional pain, much more than we think. I encourage you to think as expansively as you want about what kind of sex & intimacy you want for yourself, because the sky's the limit - truly, you don't have to settle. You will meet people who are eager and able to give you what you need, without making you feel like you're asking for too much.

In terms of how to actually approach him about this stuff, I truly recommend being as direct and blunt as possible, without being accusatory. Tell him in honest and clear terms how these things make you feel and what you need, and make it clear that you want to know how he honestly feels and what he needs too. I speak from experience when I say this is an incredibly difficult and scary thing to do, but also quite therapeutic in the long run. You might hear things that will sting and that will take a while to get over, but you'll also be able to say your piece and get some clarity on this thing that's been hurting you. That's always going to be better than allowing confusion, resentment, and frustration to build and eat away at you. You'll also get important practice with communicating clearly about your needs, which you mentioned you sometimes hold back on. It does feel a little bit like jumping off the deep end, but whether the conversation is productive or not, you'll walk out of it knowing that you honored yourself and that you survived.

Big hug to you, and I'm sorry this heavy stuff has put a damper on the new year celebrations 🫂 Whatever you decide to do, I hope that this year allows you to center your happiness and growth in a way that makes you feel as fulfilled as you deserve to be 💙

[ravioverse]

Hi! I just saw found your ravioverse on ao3 and thus this blog. I read the character bio post linked in “the lore of the ravioverse” and tried to read other posts, but naturally coz I’m new I don’t understand everything and it’s a little overwhelming. Do you have any suggestions for starting points to know who everyone is and stuff without reading… everything on this blog and the other blogs? I’m really really interested and I feel like I need an intro for dummies to lay the ground work 😅

Hi! We’d be more than happy to help with that. This is the only blog that we post our Ravioverse things on, which may help with finding all of our posts. There's only a few early posts that are linked from our main blogs, but they're VERY few. We have almost everything linked on our masterpost (please let us know if it doesn’t work lol, tumblr can be a hot mess sometimes lol). Aside from that, we have all of our lore posts that have been written thus far on Ao3 in “The Lore of the Ravioverse,” except for Oracle of Elements and Dimensions. That might be the easiest way to read the lore posts, we will be putting the most recent two ‘games’ there once we finish up with Dimensions.

If you just want to see posts about an individual one of our lads, we tag the posts that focus on them with “[nickname] (ravio)” for organizational purposes, which would probably be a good way to find the boy you want to see lol. So for example, if you wanted to see posts about Vex, you could search “Vex (ravio)” on our blog and it should come up.

I hope that helped somewhat! It may also help to read our Lorulean versions of Zelda games that you’re familiar with, if only because you’d know what we’re playing off of already. We’ll make a post with some more clear descriptions of our characters shortly. If you have any other questions, we’ll be more than happy to answer them! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy our stories!

[choicesficwriterscreations]

CFWC Writer of the Month: Takeharryandgo

Each month CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers, and this month’s writer of the month is @takeharryandgo ​! We hope you will enjoy learning more about her and her work below! Writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page.

Quick Links: 

Tumblr Blog: takeharryandgo Tumblr Masterlist

How do you want to be known on Tumblr? Kelsey

1- When did you start playing Choices? What's the first book you played? 

What is time? I literally have no sense of the time that has passed since the pandemic, but I do know I started playing Choices shortly before, so it must have been 2019. My first book was Perfect Match, and it set the bar pretty high!

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

After a massive betrayal by my bestie @jamespotterthefirst . . . no, jk, I just discovered that she had a secret side-blog dedicated to Choices, for which I had never even considered there might be an entire fandom! I don’t know why I didn’t go looking for one, but I’m very glad I found it! First, I joined because I am contractually obligated to read everything Bree writes, but I’ve stayed for the opportunity to post my own fics and interact with the lovely people here.

3- How did you pick your url name? 

Ha, well, I don’t run a Meghan Markle hate blog, contrary to what some may believe ;)  I joined Tumblr in 2011 or 2012 and was active in the Lily/James/Marauders-era corner of the Harry Potter fandom. There were a LOT of us, so it was difficult to find a url that wasn’t already taken. I had to get obscure, lol. So, my url name is a reference to James Potter shouting “Lily, take Harry and go!” before Voldemort kills him, in honor of my favorite tragic idiot.

4- Go back to your archive and tell us about the first post on your Choices blog. 

Well, since this is a blog that I’ve had for over a decade...I decided to go back to my first post tagged #Choices as a close proxy. No surprise, it was a fic by @jamespotterthefirst (Adore You). That was Book 2-era, though, so obviously, I must have posted something before then. No doubt it was also Open Heart-related!

5- How long have you been writing fanfiction?

Since college. Ah, the fanfiction.net days....

6- What is your favorite Choices book to write about?

Open Heart, since it is the ONLY one I’ve written about!

7- Share the first fanfic you wrote with us. Do you still like it or would you change anything about it?

Choosing to interpret this as the first Choices fic, because I don’t even want to think about how cringe my VERY first fanfic was.

The first one I posted was Irresistible (nsfw). I’m still happy with it, but if I could change anything, I would make it sluttier 😏

8- What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

My first Sherlock AU series will always have a special place in my heart 😊 Although I did also feel quite proud about tackling the logistical challenges of writing an actual “choices” fic with The Night Shift.

9- Do you have a fic that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to be but could use a little more love?

I guess I never really go in with any particular expectations, because I know that isn’t the healthiest approach to writing (easier said than done of course!) But I am always surprised and grateful for how many people are willing to stick with series-length fics and see them through to the end!

10- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why? 

This is like a really tough FMK! For Ethan and Meredith, though, it would have to be smut. I can’t imagine never writing another sexy fic for them again 😔

11- Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

Oh, definitely! Not necessarily in the major personality traits, but I’ve given Meredith several life details similar to mine (like the fact that she grew up in MN, some of her likes and dislikes, etc.) It makes them easier to remember for one lol, but I also think it felt natural for a Choices MC where the stories are told from the second person point of view. I think she has a bit of my sense of humor, too 😉

12- What element of writing do you struggle with most?

Scene-setting, and emotional descriptions. I’m terrible at finding metaphors that don’t sound cheesy or like I was trying too hard. Writing dialogue flows naturally for me, while the rest is something I have to put more intentional work into. I actually get so caught up in the dialogue sometimes that I have to go back and write narrative or scene transitions after the fact!

13- Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

I’m really weird and rarely have multiple WIPs going at once, nor do I have any abandoned fics. I do owe people the third part of my Lawyers AU though!

14- If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first? 

NOPE

15 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing? 

I’m not sure! I tend to like mystery/thriller/crime writing, but cannot write those genres to save my life lol. I don’t think I’ve explicitly tried to model any particular kind of author. For much of my life I probably would have said JKR, but.... 😬

As far as fanfic writers, I always try to channel Bree’s brilliant use of metaphors, but usually fail miserably lmao.

16- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series? 

Gotta go with the Sherlock AU again! That would be brilliant.

17- Do you write original stories? 

Only when I was younger. My best friend in middle school and I had a whole series planned, where we were each writing about characters in the same invented universe who would eventually meet. The premise was two sisters separated at birth who end up being raised in separate countries that go to war with each other. Each sister disguises herself as a boy to join the army (we were both really into the Song of the Lioness series by Tamora Pierce at the time), and naturally end up marrying the princes of their respective countries, as well as discovering the connection to each other. They are then the key players in bringing peace between the two nations 😂. We had full, detailed timelines planned out and everything. And I’d written a good part of a first book, all by hand in a notebook with different colored gel pens 😆. I transcribed it into Word at one point and it was over 100 pages! But 100 pages of extremely terrible, pre-teen writing.

18 -  What other hobbies do you have?

Is watching Netflix a hobby? 😆

Between working full-time and taking care of a house (which I am very privileged to have, and don’t take for granted, but I’ve also discovered that being a homeowner is a LOT of work), I don’t really feel like I have the energy for much else! When I do have free time, I like taking walks with my dog, going on bike rides with my husband (summer) or snowshoeing (winter), playing piano, baking, and spending time with friends or family.

19 - What’s your favorite emoji? 

I think I use this one a lot 🥰

20: BONUS - tell us anything you’d like (if you want to).

I’m so grateful for @jerzwriter and @lucy-268 and the many others who go WAY above and beyond to keep this fandom engaged and connected! I honestly don’t know where you find the energy (see my answer to 18 lol), especially since some of you are also raising kids! I know I do the bare minimum to stay engaged here, and I’m so in awe of those who take the time to do much, much more.

[unchartedterritoryblog]

Personal and Professional Reading: Making Time for What We Love Most

The question I am asked most often by my fellow teachers, whether we are chatting in the halls at a conference, talking about teaching at the Norton booth while they look at a copy of Uncharted Territory, or trading ideas online is: How do you manage to read so much while still teaching full-time? It is a very important question.

Before I talk about HOW I do all that reading while still teaching (eleventh grade English the last few years, FWIW) let me say a few things about WHY I read so much and why I hope you will make time in your personal and professional life this year to read as much as you can. As you will learn when you read “A Personal Prologue,” my literacy narrative in Uncharted Territory, I read very little growing up. In fact, the only book I can honestly recall having read for high school was Bless the Beasts and the Children, which turned out to be a life-changing moment for me, though I could not know it then.

As you will see in other literacy narratives in the new edition of Uncharted Territory, first-generation college students such as myself, Mike Rose, Tara Westover, Jimmy Santiago Baca, and autodidacts such as Frederick Douglass often have some moment of intellectual awakening through an encounter with a book that they stumble upon. Once I began reading after high school, while fumbling my way through that first semester at a local community college and working in a printing factory doing the most menial tasks imaginable (collating the pages of books manually in the bindery, ironically), I became a reader. Once I began reading, I found myself caught up in the virtuous cycle of seeing myself more and more as a student, as a reader, as someone who thought and was curious about things—which led me to read about them, and so it continued. 

Once Jimmy Santiago Baca began reading in the shadowy recesses of his prison cell, there was no way back to the person he had been; so it was for Mike Rose, so it was for Tara Westover, for Frederick Douglass, and for me. Years later, in my first years of teaching, I became friends with Carol Jago, who always asked if I had read the latest New Yorker or some novel by Pat Barker or Toni Morrison, or all the other authors she exposed me to. So I began reading to be able to be part of the conversation with colleagues about books, teaching, and so much more. She was the first of what would become my reading mentors—those people who guide us through the uncharted territory of other lives, worlds, and experiences. But what she really did, as did others along the way in those early years, was make me realize that I wanted to be someone who continued to learn alongside the students I taught, to not lose sight of the pleasure and passion that had led me to want to become an English teacher in the first place.

At the end of “A Personal Prologue,” I explain that when my students ask me what I believe in during those rich conversations we are always hoping to have with our kids, “my answer to this question has always been the same: I believe in education.” But the deeper, more personal answer is that I believe in reading, in that personal journey we must all undertake to become ourselves. As one of my three children said recently in response to my growing passion for fly fishing, “Oh, you know Dad is really into something when he starts reading about it.”

As for HOW I get all that reading done? I think it mostly comes down to curiosity. The other day, I listened to Ezra Klein interview Ta-Naheisi Coates and Nikole Hannah-Jones on his podcast. They talked about the texts they always teach in their classes for the quality of their writing. Coates went on at length about Kathleen Schulz’s essay about earthquakes titled, “The Really Big One”—I had to read that. And when Hannah-Jones talked about one of Coates’s essays, I went back and read that. This was actually a rare occasion when I listened to a podcast, for they are not texts that we can easily use in the classroom nor which I can include in Uncharted Territory. They are wonderful, but as I am trying to challenge my students through complex texts, they are not of much use to me. What are of great use to me and I highly encourage you to check out are audiobooks. Though I have used Audible for many years, Scribd is a tremendous value for teachers and is a bit more like Netflix for readers. There, for less than nine bucks a month, I can read widely—ebooks, audiobooks, magazines, and much more—in the quest for great texts to share with teachers and students in Uncharted Territory.

There are so many other resources I could share and which I find useful, but my point is that it has never been easier to be reading all the time—not out of a sense of obligation but a sense of joy and exploration. At the moment, as I prepare to return to school, I am reading Michael Lewis’s wonderful The Premonition in print in the evenings; listening to Davind Blight’s magnificent Frederick Douglass: Prophet of Freedom as I make my breakfast and tend to various chores around the house; sipping from Phillip Lopate’s delicious The Contemporary American Essay; sneaking in an essay by David Brooks from the latest Atlantic on all the things he now thinks he got wrong about America in his previous books; spending time before returning to school to read and really think about Kate Murphy’s You’re Not Listening, which is so insightful and useful; and, finally, because she remains, after all these years, a good friend and constant guide to books, waiting to begin reading the book Carol Jago most recently said I had to read: The Undocumented Americans, by Karla Cornejo Villivicencio.

By the time I sat down to begin sorting and choosing texts for this newest edition of Uncharted Territory, I had about three times more to choose from than I had room to include. But this is what makes Uncharted a special book to me: I am always reading what seems interesting to me but would also be of interest and use to you and all my fellow English teachers. Even now, with this second edition finished and coming out, I am already on the hunt for new pieces for the next edition that will come out years from now. In the meantime, you will find me here, in this blog, thinking about the challenges we face together and doing my best to share what I think will help you navigate your way through them in the year ahead.

[thebookofbri]

The Dilemma of the Christian Girl in the Dating World

Whew Chile……here we go again. Back to square one. Single. Within this season of singleness, I’ve had a lot of time to reflect back on my past relationships. Now I know what you’re already thinking , “She’s about to throw some man under the bus, huh?” And the short answer is no. Instead, I’m going to share with you all where I’ve fallen short in hopes that it gives you some support and wisdom on what NOT to do when you are out there in the dating world.

As a young Christian woman who is navigating both the life of spirituality and the world I’ve found myself at a crossroad multiple times. Full disclaimer, I love going outsideeeeeeee (slang for having a good time, i.e. parties, night-life, etc.) And let’s be real you enjoy outside too! Christians shame you for being outside (we’ll talk about that some other time) and preach to you the negative implications that come with that. But to be real, attending social gatherings with my friends have kept me sane. During graduate school (The MOST stressful time in my life to say the least) I would make sure to take breaks and have fun. Checking out of my studies once in awhile kept me going. But anyway, I say all that to say that the dating scene was even more difficult when in both of these environments.

How the heck am I supposed to find a God fearing man that also likes having fun? Church folk would say, “well make sure he goes to church and loves the Lord”. But in my head I’m saying “Well there are men in church that ain’t shit (excuse my language), mistreating and cheating on their wives, yet playing pretend in front of everybody else”. Other people would say, “Well going to church isn’t everything, there are more people who are outside of church that do more good in the world than people inside the church”. And although that may be true, I don’t quite side with that either. If the church community isn’t a part of your identity than what good is it to raise children with one parent inside the church and one parent outside the church? (Being equally yoked isn’t a part of this blog either lol but we’ll talk about that some other time - I promise). 

 “Well you can surely teach him and  bring him to the Lord” some may say. “Oh Sabrina, you’re thinking too far ahead, it’s not that deep just see where it goes”, others may say.

But I ask you reader, where do you think that leads other than the path to confusion? And boom – that’s exactly where it would lead me when dating - confusion. Now let me make myself crystal clear by saying that I wasn’t dating atheists. As a matter of fact, I’ve dated Christian men who just happened to have roots in the church but somehow have left their traditional religious practices. Many (except for one) of my boyfriends would practice their beliefs in their own ways (IF THAT - because some of them didn’t even pray regularly but that’s not the point of this blog).  I kid you not, although I realized the differences in my dating relationships and felt like we weren’t on the same page , half way into our relationship, I would stay and try to make it work. Why? Because there was always a huge part of me that didn’t want to let go of the potential husband that they could’ve become. Now I already know what you’re thinking, “Sabrina are you crazy?” YES HEFFA! I AM! Who doesn’t want a financially stable, educated, well groomed, polite, (list goes on) MAN?! Oh I’ll wait!.....And somehow I was good at choosing great men YET they allllll (except for one lol because I don’t know if he’s going to read this) did not honor Christianity in the way that I did. But did that make them bad men? Hmm... truth is , I don’t know. 

 So here we are once again, in the season of singleness. And as I stated previously, I’ve had the opportunity to really reflect on my past relationships and have taken away a few key points that I hope will serve you in your journey:

Number one – Take everything a step at a time. Be where your feet are. ENJOY every second and every moment of getting to know someone. Move at your own pace, do not listen to others in what they believe you should be doing. Honor your own time clock and just be!  By doing so, you’ll give yourself the opportunity to see what needs to be seen. Whether it be positive or negative. If I took everything a step at a time I probably wouldn’t have sabotaged many great moments that I could’ve had in my past relationships.

Number Two – Do not be afraid to invest your time in what interests you. If you find that this someone makes you happy and gives you this sense of peace KEEP GOING! Don’t think you need to withhold how you truly feel. Honor your feelings. Even if your feelings go against what you’ve been told. It’s okay to re-learn or to explore new things! Yes I said it! The Christian girl! Explore yall!!!! Curiosity isn’t the root of evil. It’s okay to try new things. Now if you are HESITANT to try than maybe something greater in you ( I call that the Holy Spirit) is trying to tell you something). At that point relax yaself and don’t do it lol. But don’t hold yourself back. 

Number Three – Final point because now I’m talking too much lol. If someone (or even something) doesn’t serve you anymore, it’s okay to walk away. Don’t be like me and try to hold everything together in hopes that you won’t let the person down. Nine times out of ten, they’ll realize that your feelings are no longer the same. They’ll notice a change. Whether they honor your thoughts  and feelings towards them or not is NOT your issue to fix. As my sisters say, “Do you”! Potential and reality are two different things! 

Singleness is hard. Especially when you’re someone like me who truly yearns to be in love and to grow in love. But singleness gets easier when you transfer those thoughts towards someone else to you. Grow in love with YOU! Take yourself on a date, start your own blog, go on your own baecation, do all that couple stuff – those sip and paints, and dance classes, on your own! Experience you for yourself and trust me, not only will you learn to love yourself but you’ll attract others to that love.

It's been a long time coming but I can say proudly, here in my backyard, with my water and lemon, all alone, that I’ve mastered that self love and I am so proud of me. Life’s journey isn’t always easy. We’ll forever go through things in life. But when you honor yourself and who you are, it makes the journey a little bit easier. 

[sokkathebluewolf]

First of all I love your story. I'm a little lost, what are the points where arcs 2 and 3 begin? And what kind of aunt will Azula be? and Sokka?

Thank you! Glad you’ve enjoyed the story, though I can’t blame you for being confused by my terminology when I talk about it.

Gladiator is a single story, obviously, but as far as arcs and parts are concerned, I’ve always separated story elements this way to make them easier to manage, as the writer, and for you guys to compartmentalize the story too, as readers.

I think I explained, in one Author’s Note, that I had been splitting the story, in my mind, into three, overarching parts. Each part is composed by a number of story arcs, and story arcs are specific, contained narrative units that can span several chapters (or just a single one, occasionally), centered around a specific plot point or development.

The arc’s names are available, these days, in the titles of each chapter, on either FF.net or AO3. The story’s structure is also available in the Gladiator Navigator, a feature of this blog meant to help everyone find their way in the story. Still, in hopes to clear up as much as I could for you, I figured I’d answer thoroughly. 

So far, our arcs, as belonging to each part, are:

PART 1

Introduction arc

Kyoshi’s Heir/Savage Hook arc

Rough Rhinos arc

The Emerald Rockman arc

Attack of the White Lotus arc

Gladiator Scavenger Hunt arc

Ember Island arc

The Notorious Stingray arc

Azula’s Birthday arc

Pairs Tournament in Ba Sing Se arc

Tour through the Fire Nation arc

The Slate arc/Fire Nation Festivals arc

Giving in arc

PART 2

Northern Air Temple arc

New day by day arc

Zuko and Suki reach the South Pole arc

Kinslayer arc

The Slate, reprise, arc

Toph finds out arc

The chase of Jeong Jeong arc

Appeasing Azula arc

Sokka gets a student arc

The Slate, one more time, arc

Fire Nation Festivals #2 arc

Sokka and Azula’s anniversary arc

Haru’s Family arc

The Fire Lord’s Shadow arc

Gladiator Brawl arc

Hahn’s Gambit arc

The Mad Alchemist arc

Slave Riot arc

Whaletail Island arc

Return to Shu Jing arc (currently being published)

Iroh’s suspicions arc (to be published)

The Gladiator & Sponsor Race arc (to be published)

The Spirit Library arc (to be published)

Fire Lord for a Week arc (to be published)

The Ultimate Gladiator: The Final Stretch of the Ranking arc (to be published)

... looking at it this way, Part 2 sure looks long x’D And I’m not listing Part 3′s arcs yet because... it’s too spoilery :’D

So, what exactly drives to me split the story into these three large parts? It makes things more manageable for me, more than anything. But the thing is, each of the three parts have a very specific and unique identity within the story itself.

Part 1′s identity is, of course, the initial struggles between Sokka and Azula: it’s the push-and-pull, will-they-won’t-they stage of their relationship. Paired with this, it’s also the stage where they’re both mostly starting to come to grips with a world and a reality that may not be as simple as they always thought it was. It’s, in many ways, the introduction stage for Gladiator, the laywork for everything that comes next.

Part 2′s identity is the fulfillment of the relationship between Sokka and Azula, plus the shifting of the point of tension, as it’s no longer “when will they finally act on their feelings?!”, but rather “will they get caught now?!”, and it results in an onslaught of different problems for them. Back in Part 1, nothing too damning had happened between them, nothing that couldn’t be taken back. By Part 2, there’s no going back, and that means their relationship is ride-or-die, basically, for the two of them. Outside of their relationship, in Part 2, Sokka and Azula have been growing into making use of their power to fix the world around them, little by little. Now that they’re both developed enough to understand why the world needs balance, they’re determined to change things for the better. The inner growth they underwent in Part 1 prepares them for the action they start taking in Part 2, in regards of these subjects.

Part 3, then, will begin with a very important and drastic change, just as Part 2 begins after Sokka and Azula enter a fully physical relationship, with all the consequences it entails. I’ve basically already spoiled what the change will be, since we already know what’s the contention point in Part 2: “will they get caught?” Weeeell... it kind of speaks for itself, right?

Of course, Part 3 will have an identity of its own, and the difference between it and everything that came before will be waaaaaaaaaay bigger than the differences between Parts 1 and 2. Honestly, I fear it’ll feel like a whole different story for some people, because the entire spine of the story, if I can call it that, is going to shift MASSIVELY. I reckon you could, easily, blend Parts 1 and 2 into a single thing... but Part 3 is starkly different, and I think the change will be so palpable that by the time we get there no one will likely have to ask why I consider it a different thing from everything else xD

In short, the story is divided into parts, and each part is comprised by story arcs! If you need further explanation, feel free to ask again :) I hope this wasn’t too confusing!

As for your second question... what kind of aunt will Azula be? And what kind of uncle Sokka would be, too?

Well, while this won’t be witnessed in Part 2, the truth is no one can even begin to imagine how much her aunt will mean to Mari in the future. This is going to sound soooo confusing, but without even knowing Azula, Mari is going to admire her to the point of even playing at BEING her. It will warm Azula’s heart to discover as much once she hears of this, it’s quite a surprising thing that her niece would think so highly of her despite they’ll go a very long time without meeting face to face. By the time they do meet, Azula will do her best to be a good aunt to Mari, who will most definitely be blown away by the reality of having such a regal and fancy aunt (the poor thing will spend quite some time not even knowing she’s of royal blood, so Azula will basically blow her away :’D).

As for Sokka... heh. He’s actually a little trickier? He will mess with Mari, a lot. Kind of like a typical annoying uncle you love but want to strangle too? xD granted, it’s not a universal experience, but that’s more or less what their relationship will be like. At first he will be a bit strange and scary for Mari, but eventually she’ll realize he’s not that terrifying and she’ll be happy to bicker with him whenever they cross paths. Kind of taking after her father and her aunt, in a sense xD but their relationship will have interesting developments too, once Sokka gets a certain brilliant idea that enraptures Mari, an idea that basically changes her life for the better. So, in the end, Mari will grow to like Sokka a lot, though she’s still very young so she’s not going to be all that keen on showing it xD but Sokka won’t mind too much that she tries to be mean to him, he’s definitely faced worse things than a 3-year-old’s mischief xD

Anyways, both her aunt and uncle will be pretty important to Mari eventually, though for now they’re just random names her parents mention on occasion (or her parents’ friends). Meeting them will be quite the experience for this little girl, and their relationship and dynamics with her will be, I hope, lots of fun to write once the time comes to do so :D

[calamitousrpgarchive]

Hi. This could be a long shot but I used to rp on jcink and I left it almost a year ago to take a break as I found the communities very toxic. I miss my characters and I forgot you there were rp communities on tumblr! I have never rp'd on tumblr before and I'm not sure how it works, as in where is the actual place where written character posts are or where members chat? I'm a newbie to tumblr rp and would love to join. I would appreciate some advice on how to start! xx

Hey there! Thank for for taking the time to reach out to us, we’re more than happy to try our best and give you to tumblr RP rundown! Sorry to hear you had a poor experience elsewhere - rest assured, if you want to be part of Crooked, we don’t bite! (We even have Game Nights !)

A summary of what I’ll try cover: 

Your blog is where you post as your muse/character per se, you can reblog musings and anything you like about your character(s) on here for the group to see. 

Your replies/roleplay interactions are also on here where you can post responses to open starters and engage in all that’s happening! (If you don’t use discord - we use it as our OOC platform, your OOC communications will go on your blog(s) too!)

So, to begin, the way the process of on the dash RP-ing works is generally: You create a tumblr account separate to your personal/main. You can use a little trick in the sign-up process to avoid creating new emails and losing track. For example: 

MyEmailAddress@gmail.com can be used for your personal tumblr escapades! And then, for an RP one, you can use the same email, but format it like this: MyEmailAddress+Character@gmail.com. (It still goes to your same inbox, but it allows you to have multiple accounts - if you’re using them for different groups.)

I already feel like I might have lost you a little here - so, let me continue off this topic... we can always help you set-up later! 

Once you have a tumblr account, you can then decide if you want to keep it organised in the sense of individual character blogs or if you want to compile multiple characters onto one blog; then use the tumblr tagging system to make it clear which you’re using if you have gathered a few muses! We have a mixture in the group who use Mumu blogs (multi-muse) and those who use individuals - it’s purely personal preference! Despite using a Mumu myself here in Crooked, I generally prefer individuals because it makes it a little easier to keep up with the replies I may owe! 

Alrighty, so there’s that ramble added... It’s honestly much simpler to navigate than I may be making it out to be - my apologies! Essentially, you reblog interactions at your pace and create new ones for those to engage in and your threads are you ongoing interactions. If you would like some examples, I’ll list the admin blogs below so if you wanted to have a quick scroll for examples of how we kind of interact - there’s not really a right or wrong way! 

@crxxkedevil , @twistedxpromises & @eternallyxcrooked 

These listed above are all mumu blogs - so we have multiple characters we have compiled into a single blog, whereas we have members that have a main blog and then add side blogs for each picked up OC character. But you should be able to see the method of roleplay in each of these. There is also no rule on length or tense you write in ... you’ll see some variation, I’m sure. As long as it’s understandable and we can gauge interactions, you’re on for a win! Hurrah! 

I feel like that’s the getting started basics kind of covered? Everyone has their own tumblr tagging system on their posts to be able to retrieve former interactions and such. 

A beneficial program (I’d recommended getting.) is a free add-on for google chrome browsers called XKit as it offers the ability to edit posts once they’ve been posted and you can reblog just the newest interaction instead of swarming the dash with previous/repeat engagements. Honestly, if you haven’t realised I’m Queen of the Rambles - you... do now... but truly, we’re all friendly and willing to help you every step of the way! You’ll pick it up in no time, I’m sure! A lot of information and step-by-steps are covered in sections of the Main blog that might give you some insights beyond my explanations! 

As for discord, this is the OOC platform we use for out of character interactions and general day-to-day conversations. (Also, game nights... and lots of other chaos.) It’s also free and is available on both mobile & desktop. There’s no obligation to be part of the server there - but you’re more than welcome to get to know your fellow members and RP-ers! Helps with plotting threads and interactions too.

As a last addition: we’ve broken down the process a little on the Navigation page (Mobile Navigation, here.) so you’re able to look at things pre-application and then post-application to try encourage an ease of access for all. Hopefully by looking at some blog examples of ours and having a meander through the CrookedSoulsRPG main blog that you should find some helpful resources. We also have a resources blog, here if you want to look at gifs and icons... especially if you’re potentially not used to using gifs/icons/gif icons in your interactions, we try to where we can and there’s many faces for inspiration if you haven’t acquired an arsenal of faces yet! 

Thank you again for sending this in! I hope that this somewhat helped you in your starting up process? If you need clarification on more, you’re more than welcome to hit us with all the messages you like, or if you want to pop in an application if you think you’e got the ropes and an idea of what muses/characters you wanna throw into the Crooked world. A quick read down our guidelines to check they’re all good for you and you’re away! 

We’re more than happy to continue helping you through the process in any way we can - we’re all very welcoming! Please, don’t be shy! Believe me, we’re all been there before, we all start somewhere! 

[illogicalhusbands]

The Game is Afoot - pt. 4

Bill Masters x Alec Hardy Masters of Sex / Broadchurch Crossover Link to Part 3

So sorry for the long wait! Both my co-mod and I have been extremely busy with our personal lives. I’ve come down with the flu and also had to deal with an emergency that led me to move homes so I’ve had my hands very full. But this update became unexpectedly long, so there actually will be one more part to follow! (Though I feel I’ve been saying that for the past two updates already). Also, wow 300 FOLLOWERS! I am FLOORED. Thanks everyone for the support! I hope the newcomers are all enjoying the content here. I’ll also be putting up a navigation page for the blog soon so it’ll be easier to find the fanfics and fanart that we make.

-

Everyone was staring.

It was one of those rare days that Masters had gotten him to agree to get something that vaguely resembled a complete meal for breakfast, yet by the time they had sat down Alec was quickly losing his appetite.

Pushing thin-rimmed spectacles up the bridge of his nose, he pointedly ignored the sticky feeling of several pairs of eyes on him as he perused through the list of fifty or so names and phone numbers in his hand, taunting him.

“Holmes.”

Alec groaned. He was nowhere near cracking this case than he had been a week ago. There had to be something that he was missing!

“Holmes.” A hand shot out to grab his forearm. Alec looked up to Masters’ steel blue eyes lit up with… worry? “I know this serial burglary case has been driving you mad, but you look horrifying. Just, please, eat something.”

Alec blinked blearily at him. “I’m fine, Watson,” he said, mustering up all the vitriol that he could onto that last word.

“That’s doctor Watson to you,” said Masters, on the slight edge of teasing once again. “But in all seriousness, I am an actual doctor, so you better listen to me when I say you need to take better care of yourself.”

Alec snarled. “I bloody hate doctors.”

“And I’m sure they find you an absolute delight to be with.” Masters took a sandwich from Alec’s plate and held it up to his face. “Now, eat.”

There was something about the doctor’s tone that was so commanding, in a way that never failed to grab Alec’s attention. It was always paired by those cold blue eyes and set jaw. Alec could tell he wielded this weapon on more than one occasion. He could picture Masters talking down rivals or even superiors, looking every bit like the prim and proper man that he presented himself to be, the presence of danger in his eyes the only indicator of his vicious intent. Masters probably never had much difficulty in getting anything he wanted.

Damn, Alec thought, And why did this bastard have to be so bloody attractive?

Alec was able to hold down half of his sandwich. He managed to convince Masters that he would finish the rest at a later time at work. Masters looked doubtful, but that seemed to satisfy him enough.

The whispers restarted when they got up from their seats. Alec grit his teeth. Did this town have nothing better to talk about than what other people got up to? He took a deep breath and nearly prayed that Masters hadn’t noticed at all that the entire bloody town thought of them as an item and could not seem to shut up about it.

Masters walked a step ahead of him and opened the door. “Pleasure as always, Mr. Holmes,” he said with a smooth grin. Please, please please don’t notice how other people have been talking about us. Above all, please don’t notice how much I want them to be right.

Alec startled at the hand on his lower back, gently pushing him out the door. He tried to look more relaxed, but he could see Masters had taken note of it.

They stepped out onto the pavement. Alec lingered, not wanting to leave things awkward between them. They spoke at the same time.

“Look—”

“I’m—”

“You first,” Alec said.

“Holmes…” the doctor started, eyes darting around nervously. “You know what? It’s nothing. I enjoyed breakfast today. And your company, um… thank… you for that.”

Alec felt his cheeks warming. “Y-yeah? I mean, alright. It-it’s fine, I—” he could see Masters slightly pursing his lips. “You know people talk, right?”

“I imagine they do little else,” said Masters flatly.

Alec scratched the back of his head. How can he get his message across without sounding too presumptuous? “I mean they—ah, they seem to think that we… are together.”

Masters blinked. “But we are together.”

The blood in Alec’s veins turned to ice. “W-what do you—”

“Right now, we’re here. Standing. Together. Is there something so scandalous about that?”

Alec tried to look for any signs on Masters’ face that he was kidding, but there was none. His brow was furrowed in concentration, mulling over the oddity in Alec’s statement.

“O-oh, you meant—I mean, yes! Yes, we are indeed, um, together.” Crap! He’d completely misread the situation. He scolded himself. Don’t look any more like a bumbling idiot in front of him! What was he even doing? Bringing this up with Masters was a surefire way of sending him running for the hills. Alec internally sighed. What kind of respectable man would want to be associated with a “shitface” disgraced detective? If Masters had any idea that the people of Broadchurch had branded them as the town’s Couple of the Year, he’d never want to see Alec again, much less be seen with him. “I suppose I’m just worried about your um, privacy.”

“My… privacy.”

“Yes! You know how it is in here. Everyone’s always up in other people’s business and—oh, would you look at the time!” He raised his wrist and realized a bit too late that he’d forgotten his watch. “I best get going. This was…” There was no reason to look like a flustered schoolgirl, he told himself. “Great, uh… mate.” And before he could stop himself, his fist bumped dejectedly onto Masters’ arm.

For Christ’s sake.

Masters looked at his miserable excuse for social communication and thankfully said nothing.

“I’ll see you around.” Masters gave his arm a firm squeeze that sent electric jolts straight to his chest cavity and left.

Alec kicked the pavement—and inhaled sharply at the contact and the stabs of pain that coursed up his foot.

 -

Just to add a cherry on top of his already messy, bloody cake, a whole bag of bad news greeted him at work. Cold leads, no new suspects, and inconsistent witness statements. Alec spent the next six hours bent over files and data cards, shutting off all his bodily functions and channeling his energy into coming up with anything that might be able to make sense of this increasingly complex case.

“CCTV brought up nothing, sir,” said Miller, looking not much better than he did. “I searched all night-”

“But that’s impossible!” Alec rifled through his own notes, skimming across messily scrawled witness accounts. “You should able to find that red van on the corner of Ivy and Hodges. Without that, our entire case is just mere speculation!”

“I don’t know what to do, sir. I’m just astounded as you are.”

Alec groaned, taking off his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose. “We can’t be caught theorising, Miller! We need evidence.”

“Hang on, I’m working on it!” Miller put her hands on her hips, indignant. “Don’t have to make it look like you’ve been doing all the bloody work. You know how many all nighters I’ve put on in this office?”

“I’m not accusing you,” said Alec, rubbing his entire face, trying to keep himself awake. He could feel his mind floating off elsewhere and that was not good.

“All the while you were off gallivanting with Doctor Masters—”

“Do not bring him into this, Miller. He’s got nothing-”

“Oh don’t put that ‘we’re strictly acquaintances’ bullshit on me! I’m happy for you, really I am. And you definitely need to unwind more than all of us here.”

“It’s not bullshit. We’re barely even friends.”

Miller rolled her eyes. Her expression shifted drastically from the hopeless look she sported before. “At this point, it’s not even cute anymore. You’re just being very annoying.”

“Glad to see I haven’t lost my charm.”

Alec raked a hand through his hair, fighting through a pounding headache. “Masters has given no indication whatsoever of him… caring for… in that way. Just let it go, will you?”

A voice from the main entrance halted their conversation.

“Delivery for a… Sherlock Holmes?” The poor delivery girl was holding up a brown paper bag in her arms as she read the card with pure confusion on her face. She flushed. “Oh no. I-I think this may have been a prank. Is anyone of you actually-”

Miller shot a pointed look at Alec, who stood frozen with his mouth open.

“No, luv, not to worry! He’s right here.” said Miller, walking over to free the girl of the package.

Alec briefly snapped out of it enough to process what he was seeing. “H-how much is this?”

“Oh, no, it’s already been paid for by card, Mr. Holmes,” said the relieved girl. “Have a nice day!”

Alec still couldn’t move by the time Miller had brought the paper bag over to him.

“Go on, then. Open it! This is probably the only entertainment I’m getting today.”

Alec glared at her. “Entertainment. Really, Miller, we’re not a soap opera.”

“Hardy, I have had a very long week and things are very bleak right now with the case, so either you open this bag or I open your skull. Your choice.”

Alec opened the bag.

Inside was a box of takeout from one of his favorite Thai restaurants nearby. A sticky note taped on the top read—I’m aware we’re both busy. Consider this my way of buying you lunch. (Finish all of it.) W.

Miller had been reading over his shoulder again.

“This doesn’t mean anything,” Alec said.

“I swear to god. I can’t deal with this right now.” Miller groaned loudly and cradled her head. “God, I need a coffee.” Alec heard her retreating footsteps.

Alec took out the food from the bag, staring at it as if it were on fire. What did all this mean?

The whispers came back full force. Apparently the entire office had a good view over what just occurred. It was clear the package was addressed to Alec, and they could only think of one person who it came from and they, unfortunately, were correct.

Alec grabbed the food and stomped over to his office, slamming the door behind him. He needed to put a stop to this. The situation was getting out of hand. If people got more ideas about him and Masters, it would ruin everything they had at present. Why, oh why did Alec have to always want more than he deserved? Why couldn’t he just be content with what he was given? Why did he have to develop shoddy feelings for the man?

He of course knew the answer to that. Masters was striking. He commandeered a presence in every room he entered. But more than his appearances, he was also interesting. Alec could never quite tell if he was a being a righteous asshole or just plain blunt. He’d only known Masters for five months, but the companionship between them grew with hardly any effort from either side. He was intelligent and funny, often without meaning to. Alec saw him and instantly felt the need to smoothen his suit, or fix his hair and just try his might at keeping up with the brilliance of this man, to impress him somehow. To make any sort of impression on him, really. He orbited around Masters, held in place by a natural gravitational force.

He absolutely cannot ruin this just because of some vastly exaggerated stories from the grapevine. Still, these people showed no sign of slowing down. He resolved to the one thing that was left for him to do: slam on the brakes.

He needed to avoid Dr. William Masters.

 -

The next day was barely any better. They had made no progress with the case, and both Alec and Miller were at their wits’ end trying to piece everything together. Alec hasn’t handled a case as harrowing as this in about a year. He stayed in the office all night so that Miller could go home and check up on her kids. Alec ran through more CCTV footage and transcripts from witness’ statements. He could feel the answer nearing him, almost within his grasp. He just needed to know which direction to take his hands.

Alec downed the rest of his tepid tea. He set the mug down. When did he get two mugs? It was only then that he noticed his vision spinning. He shook his head. There was no time for sleep when the truth was only millimetres away from his fingertips!

The vibrations from his phone woke him back up. He turned to look. Why was Masters calling at this hour?

“What?” His voice was gruff from disuse. He’d been alone in the headquarters for hours now.

“Ah, so you are still at work.” Masters’ voice was infuriatingly proper and formal, as always.

“Did Miller tell you that?”

“Ellie sent me a text saying you’ll be out all night. I see you’ve not had any luck on the case,”

Alec huffed. “Have you come to gloat?”

“Gloating’s not really my style. However, I will share with you the fact that I’ll be accepting an award next week for my groundbreaking research on improved strategies for in vitro fertilization.”

“That hardly sounds impressive, Watson.” It was very impressive.

“If properly adopted, they could increase IVF success rate by up to forty percent.” Alec could sense the excitement radiating off him through the phone. “Fertility treatments used to be so taboo, Holmes. But we live in an age where these conversations have been opened up in the vernacular. If these techniques—these conversations about the human body—could be made more accessible, imagine how many people can live without that social pressure burdening their shoulders, how many women would not be made to feel so-so ashamed of their bodies! This… This age is a turning point, Holmes, I can feel it. And I would like a part in it. Dabble my footsteps in it, so to say.”

“You’ll leave the most impressive footprints,” Alec found himself saying as a fond smile made its way over to his face.

“Will I?” said Masters, a little flirtatious.

There was no one around at the moment. Alec allowed himself to bask in it, his heart only a little bit broken. “Guarantee it. Be a goldmine for Forensics, I say.”

“Well, I’m glad you have so much confidence in me. Not very many people do.”

Alec took a glance at the clock. 2:17 A.M. and no signs of finishing work anytime soon. He took a deep breath—eyes opening in shock as the air rushed into his lungs like knives.

“Is everything alright?”

He clutched at his desk, making feeble attempts at normalizing his breathing, but the panic only grew stronger. His vision was blurring. Masters’ voice on the phone sounded much farther away.

The last thing he registered was the voice from the phone yelling out his name. His name. And then he blacked out.

TO BE CONTINUED

[kylerenpenning]

Audience Studies (3P18) Blog #1

Week 2

Our first-week material involved a lot of a general analysis of audiences for us to gain a better understanding of just how much control social media platforms and other online social networking sites have on the way our brains process different things. We developed a definition for what exactly an audience is which we described as a group of people who are hearing or are paying attention to someone proving verbal information. What I found interesting about this content was that it made me realize the large extent to which many people’s happiness, beliefs, morals, and friends are formed from a digital platform. We discussed how things were not always this way and that audiences before were commonly found at live events because social networking had yet to exist. As time has gone on people have developed ways to build an opportunity for an audience to participate in places that may have never seemed possible before until we were met with the introduction of social networking and media. When considering my own experiences as being part of an audience throughout my life, I agree that the number of opportunities to take part in an audience has increased over the years. For example, during the COVID-19 pandemic, I found myself using many new social networking platforms that were established before the pandemic but were not used nearly as much. 

With the pandemic forcing everyone into their homes for almost a full two months the benefits of having digital audiences are obvious. Multiple times a week I use platforms like Zoom, Microsoft Teams, and Lifesize to join lectures and seminars which is a prime example of a way that I take part in the audience every day now. Compared to life before the pandemic when most of my audience experiences happened in person such as going out to moose on Wednesday every week and having a couple of drinks with my peers and enjoy a night out. I notice switching to a digital technique to host lectures increases the sizes of the audiences substantially because when the lectures took place in person, people are much more likely to be lazy and not show up to class. With lectures now being online, it makes participating in the audience much easier because there is no need for travel. You can see the total number of viewers in each class and there are consistently over 100 people from all over the world joining the cyberspace environment which I would estimate to be a huge increase in participation levels.

To compare my personal experiences with digital audiences during the COVID-19 pandemic to the material we discussed in class, I think of how in chapter 1, Sullivan spoke about how audiences are for the most part working-class people who have no title or place in society yet and are working to do so. (Sullivan, P. 13) I interpret this as students attending digital lectures are working towards their degrees to get the job they have a passion for because they do not have a label yet in society and once we get a career we get a sense of purpose in life because we mean something to a greater society. The benefits I gained from having to get up out of bed to go to class was that I would gain a sense of routine in my life and I got to meet many new people who I now consider my friends. So, although audience sizes have increased in quantity because it is easier for people to attend lectures when they do not have to go anywhere, however, the quality of the audience experience deteriorates. There are certain components you need to achieve satisfaction with your experience as an audience member and doing strictly digital audiences like we have been doing this year has not provided the physical interaction needed to get the full experience. 

One of the final main points from the first week is the power of media and ability it must oppose destructive information into people's minds and shape their views on the world in a particular way. The mass, agent, and outcome are key terms that are an extremely important part of the process that is essentially capable of inducing detrimental norms in society that place some to advantage and others at a disadvantage. Using the same example as before about online lectures taking place at Brock this year, I will indicate which parties would be considered the mass, agent, and outcome. The agent is the audience member who is considered free to choose whatever content they want to consume online which is the students at Brock who are selecting the courses they want to study because it suits their interests. The mass is where we see the content being provided by professors at lectures and seminars and since students have no pre-existing knowledge of most of the topics we discuss in school it is their first time consuming such information, students must trust in the information hoping that it will benefit them in their future life. I think about this all the time when I go to class and why I am happy to be considered as an audience member of the Media Communications program. The outcome is the overall effect that the mass provided on media platforms have on its audience members. When I reflect on my audience experience, I firmly believe the outcome of me being a member of the media communications audience has been beneficial for me and has given me the skills to navigate through social media platforms with an awareness to the issues it contains which I would have never gotten if I didn’t trust the process and the information they were providing me to be correct.

Having the skill to be aware of the power of social media and the conflicts that can arise if you participate in audiences on their platforms I think will be extremely beneficial in the future because it is inevitable that new technologies and ways to interact on digital platforms rather than in person will begin to accelerate rapidly.

Week 3

This week’s content focuses on stories, primarily we were concerned with who the storyteller is because it influences the audience who is listening. If the storyteller or leader is well respected by the audience it is more likely that the information he is providing will stick with the audience and it will be carried on throughout the audience as they spread the information to their peers. There is a danger behind this however because if there is falsified information being provided and the audience receiving has trust in the storyteller that they are being given valid information it may cause false information to be spread. An example from my life when I trusted the information I was being given from a speaker is when I participate in sports betting, on sports that I am unfamiliar with. As an audience member with little knowledge of the sport of football, I ask my friends who are big fans to give me some advice on who they think is the better team in hopes that I will obtain new knowledge that will give me an edge in my bets. However, sometimes I mistake the person I ask for information as someone who has good knowledge of the game of football and I take their advice without hesitation because I discredit my ability to make an intelligent decision on my own. This causes me to place money on a team that I may not have picked had I not been told information from a third party and I end up losing the bet and my money. 

We can see this process happen on a much larger scale of audiences like in politics where people who are labeled “leaders” have a job to lead an entire country, one of the biggest and challenging audiences to handle. Governments have access to media platforms that hold substantial amounts of power because they can simply send out messages that will circulate through various media platforms. Government parties utilize this chain reaction to create social norms in society and try and push people to think a certain way because they know the information they put on social media spreads like wildfire! Week 3’s reading by William Brown supports the claim we examined in class as the study conducted concluded that “the rise of celebrity culture in the late 20th century has given media personae a privileged position of social influence that can shape, reinforce, and inculcate values and beliefs and promote specific social practices within diverse audiences across socioeconomic, geographic, and national boundaries” (J. B, Williams. P, 259).

Where do I even start?! The number of experiences I have had where the stars and celebrities I see on the digital networking sites I use like verified Instagram and Twitter accounts, popular Netflix actors. The most influential social media influencers in my life are on Twitch and YouTube because these two platforms allow me and the millions of others who watch to build a relationship with the star. This creates a feeling for the audience member that can seem like there is an actual relationship between the audience member and the celebrity. Twitch is a prime example of how a celebrity can have a direct influence on their audience because the influencer is live streaming and directly interacting with their fans. This creates a connection that a video was taken days/weeks in the past and edited cannot do for an audience like on YouTube which often the biggest stars are people who make ‘vlogs’ covering the activities they do in their daily lives but there is no live interaction with the individual the audience is viewing. This still has a large impact on the audience members because it gives them an idea of what the perfect life ‘should’ look like based on what they are watching a privileged celebrity vlog. The large influence that vloggers and streamers have validates Williams claims that the rise of celebrity culture in the late 20th century has given social media influencers a privileged position of social influence that can shape, reinforce, and skew values and beliefs on diverse audiences in any given society.

We also covered the Dependency Theory which explained some other factors which would affect peoples’ need for social media to hear about the stories they see every day, provide them with entertainment, and connecting them with their friends without location/distance being a factor. Dependency theory explains that all societies vary in structural stability so poor and underdeveloped countries will be less dependant on technology because there is less available to it and they have to learn to live and entertain themselves in other ways. Developed countries with plenty of wealth will have more ways to access technology that provides us with the entertainment and feeling of comfort that our phones give us every day of our lives. As a person who grew up extremely lucky growing up in Oakville, Ontario I always had the privilege to get my hands on the newest technology. When I graduated elementary school is when I got my first phone which looking back on it seems absurd but within the very first week of having the new phone I had signed up for Instagram, Facebook, and Snapchat. The cognitive effects that the exposure to these apps at such a young age must have had on me is scary to think about. Dependency theory explains that there are several behavioral and cognitive effects social media has on a person including an increased likelihood of depression and anxiety. I can see in some people I have been around where they always seem worried about something that someone is saying or doing online. Eventually, it makes them get so anxious just not knowing certain things and a lot of the time can create the feeling that things are being said or done behind your back online where what’s being said can easily be deleted. 

Week 3 also looked at Mass media and further breaks down how persuasion through the media occurs which creates subgroups of people in society who share common beliefs, lifestyles, humor, etc. In the lecture, we learned that there are two components to mass media which are the opinion leader who consumes large quantities of mass media, and then there are people who do not consume as much media. However, since they do not consume enough media in their own time, they come into contact with the opinion leaders they get persuaded by them. 

 Week 4

The evolution of public opinion was a major topic of discussion during this week as we learned that it was not always easy like it currently is to freely express yourself because there are so many platforms you can do so on. With the introduction, people are constantly allowed to express their opinion, verbally reject opposing opinions, and interact with one another to share opinions until we form what is known as social norms. Over time, audiences start to catch on to certain ideologies that are widely accepted by society, and people’s opinions can switch because of the pressure they face going against what society has deemed the dominant ideology. Multiple situations come to mind when I think about my audience's experiences and how the dominant ideology changed the way either myself or someone else was acting. 

Going out to the bars on the weekend last year at school is an audience experience where I have seen this process happen multiple times. The vast majority (over 90%) of people who are at the bars are from Brock University and I like to think of me as being a member of an audience because everyone there usually had the same goal in mind, to have a fun night out with friends and have a few drinks. Referring to the idea of public opinion, there was a public opinion in terms of how people should act and what ‘normal behavior’ looked like at the bar. Drinking, dancing, singing along to the songs being played were all things that the majority of people were doing as someone who doesn’t enjoy dancing too much I can say you feel like an outsider when your not performing the activities that you see in most of the people who go to your school are doing. This proves that a public opinion is formed when there is an ideology that is more preferred by the public. My small-scale example at the bar can be amplified to see the same pattern happening in any given society as when people see on social media platforms that certain opinions are respected in society while others are silenced. This creates a barrier and can make it very difficult for people who do not follow the norms to express their opinions and be active members of society. At the same time, it benefits the majority of people because they agree with what society has chosen to be the dominant ideologies.

Another topic of focus this week was how did we get to how things are the way they are in terms of creating a public opinion. The evolution of popular opinion is the key factor that formed ‘public opinion’ because logically the popular opinion is what is preferred by the majority of the public and is likely to have some sort of role in society. Plato the Athenian philosopher believed the power should be placed in the people to make their own decision, but he was skeptical that the ordinary person would not be able to make a rational decision. By mapping out the contrast between the two types of thinking, we were able to grasp the idea of why Plato believed that ordinary people’s opinions are sometimes disregarded by society. The contrast between Doxa and episteme helps us grasp the concept of how the public has the power to express their knowledge. Doxa is explained to be the popular belief in a society that does not have the warrants needed to validate their claims being made so that they could be mediated and turned into laws or social norms in society. Episteme is the knowledge that is validated by scientific principles and is cemented in society due to the unchanging nature of the world. In the real world, we see these two concepts surface all the time. For example, people who show up to protest in large groups would be considered Doxa knowledge because it is an opinion being expressed by the general public and for the most part comes from a suppressed group looking to create change that will benefit their lives. We often see protestors gathering outside government institutions because government officials are the ones with episteme knowledge who can take the ideologies they hear from the general public and create an official change in society. 

Week 5

          Week 5’s material analyzes audiences as active users of media and examines people’s use of media to give them the gratification they need to be satisfied with oneself, as well as what motivates the users to pay attention to live blogs/vlogs. It was addressed that people follow live blogs to fill their need for entertainment, to learn new information, hear other opinions, and express freely express their own opinion. The factors I just listed are considered the agents that motivate users to actively participate in these sorts of activities like streaming platforms that provide entertainment. With the restrictions in place currently to deal with the COVID-19 pandemic most people have been stuck in their homes and unable to do the things they would normally do to keep entertained like hanging out with friends, going out on weekends and socializing with new people, or attending concerts and other festivals that occur annually. The streaming industry has come out and said their platforms have benefitted greatly from this pandemic because the more people are stuck in their homes bored, the more people end up using streaming platforms to occupy their time. In my life, I have used streaming websites like Twitch and Mixer for years before the pandemic was happening and I have noticed a big difference in viewership numbers since the pandemic began. The games I watch mostly are Fortnite and Call of Duty and before the pandemic, there were roughly 50-70 thousand people watching streamers who are playing these games. Since quarantine started viewership numbers have increased to well over 100 thousand people concurrently watching Fortnite and Call of Duty streamers which validates the claim that the streaming industry has benefitted tremendously from the global pandemic. 

              Operationalizing audiences was also a major focus during the lecture which essentially explains why society has to invade people's privacy to figure out what their interests are so that they can keep producing commodities that they know will be successful in the market for the future. Quantifying an audience and analyzing the data is super necessary for theories to be created because there needs to be hard evidence to make a theory about people’s online interests and to find patterns about what people engage with. In the lecture we talked about how “quantitative data from the systems that track people’s online activities can help streamline audience diversity, can be exchanged for money, and have an air of objectivity.” (Good, Jennifer. 19 Oct 2020). Right now, there is an ongoing controversy in the United States involving the social media site TikTok because it is a Chinese owned website. America's government wants to ban TikTok in the United States, removing it from the millions of users in the country who use the app every day which would also mean the entire community that had been developed on a virtual platform would be removed in an instant. Why would they do this you may ask? Well, it is warranted in my opinion, the reason being that China has supposedly been able to freely access confidential information on all the American users who have an account on the app. This means financial information, personal information like date of birth, even access to a location in some cases are invaded by Chinese ownership of TikTok. America’s government is scared of what China is using the data for and so they want it banned completely in the States. 

 Quantitative data also allows producers to see data so that they can have more control over what is being produced as well as how much needs to be produced which helps prevent a case of overproduction. Small companies often fail because they overproduce and spend too much money on production to the point where they cannot end up making a profit. If producers can see how many people are engaging in a product or business, they will produce the correct product needed to support customers. 

Have you ever walked into a fast-food place and seen the screens that prompt a survey on their service while you were ordering at the restaurant? Or seen a survey on Twitter from Wendy’s or McDonald’s about what people would like to see on their menu? This is the kind of data that digital technology has allowed companies to collect to change their style of business to attract the greatest number of customers. Thus, quantitative data is important for companies to be aware of because it allows them to be one step ahead of their audience members and provide them with the commodities that will make them the most profit. Sometimes problems can arise from this because they may start to lose sight of what is in the best interest of their loyal audience. I’ve seen many companies or brands that started beloved by their audiences change because of their obsession over making maximum profit and they start producing commodities that are cheaper in quality for the customers but benefits the company because their profits will increase. 

Nike is a good example of this when the information came out that they use slave workers to mass-produce their products because it means saving a lot more money on good quality work that meets basic human rights and needs. Because of Nike’s incredible ability to brand itself, it had the whole world thinking that if you buy their products it makes you superior to someone without Nike. The reality is it is extremely disappointing what media platforms have been able to do for Nike by covering up the sickening backstory of their products with commercials of people’s favorite athletes and celebrities wearing their brand which makes ordinary people fall in love with the company. 

[nonbinaryresource]

Have any of you ever felt more dysphoric after encountering transmed rhetoric? A lot of transmed stuff shows up in nonbinary tags, and I recently read a post where a trans man claimed that seeing nondysphoric afab nb/transmasc people "flaunting" their chests in photos, videos, etc was "hurtful" to him. After that I started feeling much more depressed and self-conscious about my body in ways and places that I never have before. (part 1)

Up to this point, I really only felt dysphoria in regards to my internal reproductive organs. I hope to have some kind of hysterectomy in the future, but for now, my doctor is having me take low dose birth control and skip the placebo pills so that I can stop having a cycle. It definitely helps with that, but as a side effect, I’ve gotten a little bustier and hippier. I didn’t feel TOO bad about that until I saw that post, and now it’s hard for me to even look in the mirror. (part 2)

I’m hoping that these feelings will eventually pass. I know it would be wrong to bind or have top surgery just bc some guy thinks my personal experiences with my gender, body, and dysphoria are ~incorrectly trans~ or something. This has been on my mind for weeks though, and I think it would help me to know whether other nonbinary people have any similar experiences. Thank you. (part 3, end)

This is what transmed (and terf and any other transphobic) rhetoric is meant to do. It’s meant to stir up feelings and scare people and invalidate them and make them hate themselves and make them doubt themselves. This is exactly what they want. They want to either force you to conform to their self-hating, righteous gatekeeping propaganda or to force you back into the closet/to stay in the closet.

I know this isn’t your question, but I want to cover self-care in navigating these sort of situations so you can avoid this as best as possible in the future.

Block liberally, especially if you’re going to spend any time in the tags. I regularly search asexual, aromantic, and nonbinary on tumblr. My block list is huge. This is healthy. Not everyone is meant to face this rhetoric so they can deconstruct it for others to understand why it’s harmful. We’ve all got our strengths and weaknesses, and that’s what makes life work. It is a totally reasonable reaction to be upset and dysphoric and anxious and depressed regarding coming across transmed identity policing and shaming. It is not a good or healthy way to live being brought to such a negative when you come across this stuff.

Start teaching yourself to scan usernames before you read posts. A lot of transmeds identify themselves right in their usernames by straight up calling themselves truscum in their name. Transmed and terf/radfem communities have really allied in the recent past, so you may even catch usernames with rad or radical in their name. When you see these, block on site. If a name seems suspicious but you aren’t sure, you can also quickly check the profile of the person, as many of them have “transmed” listed in their description. Block before you’ve really even processed the post and skip right over it.

Also, blocking can seem like a useless task at first with so many bigoted blogs in the tags, but once you’ve blocked many of the popular ones, you really only have to watch out for the random new one that pops up, and the tags become much more manageable.

Make sure you have plenty of positive and affirming blogs on your dash. If you’re regularly coming across gatekeeping and cissexism but you’re not taking in regular positivity and validation, these comments can be harder to shake off. You tend to feel more isolated and so can spiral quicker and more easily. Having more positive and supportive and trans-friendly blogs regularly on your dash will help you take in these messages, remember you’re not alone, and work on self-love and self-acceptance. Transmeds may still hurt and impact you, but with a bigger community at you’re back, you may find it easier to brush this off and bounce back.

Avoid any temptation to seek out these blogs, whether to interact or just read to “just see” what they’re seeing and thinking. This can be a form of self-harm, and it will definitely make you spiral faster and more intensely. Block, block, block. Take a break from tumblr if you need. At least take a break from the tags if you need. If you’re subscribed to a tag, unsubscribe. Only go searching for the tag to read the posts when you’re feeling mentally up to it. It can be harder to deal with when you’re subscribed to these tags, as posts like this can randomly pop up on your dash without warning, making them more triggering and upsetting.

Practice healthy coping mechanisms. We’ve got some good stuff under our coping tag. I’ve heard so many trans folk say that learning and practicing CBT techniques has helped them immensely in dealing with dysphoria. Mindfulness, meditation (I prefer guided meditation to avoid dissociation), and breathing/grounding exercises can all help as well.

But anyway. You were looking to know you weren’t alone, and the answer is a resounding no, you are not alone. That rhetoric is designed to harm you. It is specifically targeting you. It makes complete sense that it shook you and impacted you.

Keep reminding yourself of what you know: being trans is not defined on an axis of suffering, some jerkoff loser doesn’t get to define transness for all trans people just because they want everyone to hate themselves as much as they do, and you are valid. Stop and specifically validate yourself out loud when you’re alone and can do so. Write it down (in vague terms if you need to for safety) when you’re around people and can’t say it out loud. Aggressively love and support yourself. Do it out of spite for this jerk if that helps motivate you.

This can pass, but you may have to do a little work so it will.

[gif of daily sky fox, a cute little fox with tiny wings, sitting like a human on the floor, swaying side to side, holding a sign that says “You are strong! I believe in you!” There’s boxing gloves and a round heavy bag in the background]

~Pluto

[yogaposesfortwo]

Teachers and Studios on Bringing Their Yoga Classes Online

If we were told a few months back that all studios would be closed, retreats cancelled and public classes banished we wouldn’t have believed it. Yoga Teachers and Studios livelihoods rely on their students to show up and when this isn’t possible, times can be worrying.  It is astounding to see the yoga industry evolve to offer classes online, whole studio timetables now available online and teachers and students working together to bring yoga to our homes when we need it most.  We caught up with some Yoga Teachers and studio owners in our network to hear about how they have adapted to the change. For those who are feeling overwhelmed by the change, we hope that this piece will lift your spirits – because we are all in this together, collectively hoping to share happiness, health and love to one another, however we can.

Jess Horn

What are you offering? I am offering my full schedule on line, x 6 – 8 classes a week, with live streaming, donation based classes. I’m also providing some free content including short videos and some Relaxation evenings/ home retreats which I’m hoping to help as many people as possible relax, connect with their bodies, de-stress and manage anxiety. Also to provide a sense of community and move away from fear into connecting with hope, love and the best qualities of humanity. I’m also going to put together a short course – Introduction to Meditation –  for the home office – How to navigate these uncharted waters with more ease. What challenges have you faced or what have you been surprised by? I’ve been surprised at how much it’s helping people. I’m getting really positive feedback and its great to see how many people are keen to join in and embrace new technology!  I have faced a few teething issues (like muting myself accidentally half way through a class!) But each time I do it, it gets a little easier! What is your advice would you like to share to other teachers and the yoga community? If you’re a teacher, now is the time for seva, (service) and your students need you now more than ever, so do reach out to them. As teachers we have the toolkit, the science of yoga, to help them to regulate their nervous system through their breath and find space and calm amongst these crazy and uncertain times. Don’t be afraid about being on line, if its new for you, it can be challenging, but start small, maybe doing a little live, or even pre-recording a video and sharing. You don’t need loads of fancy equipment, or a huge space and it doesn’t matter what you look like, just be authentically you! Remember Done is better than perfect! So move through the self doubt as the world now more than ever, needs your yoga!  I know that many of us rely on our teaching for our income so do ask for a donation / payment if you’re offering full classes. Maybe offer smaller free offerings or donations for those who struggle financially. At this time we need to dig deep, double up on our self care and practice what we preach! If you’re a student of yoga, reach out to your teacher and tell them what you’d like them to share and how you can support each other. We don’t know how long this will go on for, so we need to all pull together and provide support for each other and the yoga community! 

Trisha Champaneri

What are you offering? All my classes are online now – so that’s mainly yoga flows and meditations.  I’ve got something going on every day as I’m trying to keep busy and my regular clients are really needing their practice more than ever.  I’m streaming via Zoom and IGTV and my schedule is on my website. From Monday EVERY DAY at 8:30am, I’ll be offering a daily meditation and motivational video on IGTV.  I want to help people get their ducks in a row early doors, so they align with their intentions and get the most from their day.  This type of grounding work is so valuable and consistency is absolutely key. I’ve got clients that will put this on for their kids too when the schools close.  Hopefully it will set the tone for the day and give some structure to the people who follow it regularly.    What challenges have you faced or what have you been surprised by? Teaching online is TOTALLY different to teaching in real life.  I don’t think I’ve ever fully appreciated that and I’m massively out of my comfort zone!  I am learning something new with each class and it’s really giving me a sense of purpose at the moment.  It’s also given me a real respect for anyone that has ever put themselves out there online and shared this type of work.  It takes guts.   Another challenge is the logistics of course.  Generally I’m okay with tech stuff, but wouldn’t say that I’m the best, so I’m having to learn a lot on that front too.  Currently I’m taking donations for classes (from those who can afford to pay) via my website, but I know that this could be a lot slicker, so I’ll aim to refine that in the next few days.  Classes are obviously free for key workers.  I am pleasantly surprised by the way in which we’re all supporting one another.  The teaching community, small local businesses, everyone really, we’re all rooting for each other and I love that.       What advice would you like to share to the other teachers and the yoga community? Wash your hands and don’t touch your face.  Seriously though, If you’re thinking of doing something similar, DO IT!!!! You can set up streams for your regular students if you’re not comfortable with opening the net wider.  Honestly, it’s easier to set up than you think.   I’d also ask people giving completely free classes to question what that says about the value that you place on what we offer as practitioners.  For sure at the moment, there will be people who cannot afford to pay and they should not have to. But there will also be people who can afford to make a contribution and they absolutely should.  We are all turning to these practices to ease the heightened feeling of anxiety. How can that not be worth something?  Essentially, as I am learning, you just need to back yourself and get on with it.  I know teaching is a very personal and vulnerable thing, but what you offer can and will help someone.  If you have the capacity to do this, then you must, particularly in this time of need and uncertainty. I wish you all the best of health and am sending high vibes to everyone. 

Paula Gardiner, Space2be and The Yoga Lighthouse

What are you offering? We’re offering on-line classes to all of our members. We have also created social media groups where our teachers are sharing videos and free resources. I am in the process of expanding our on-line offering with some pop up events to learn new fun skills eg. quiz night, knitting group , arts and crafts, strictly come dancing classes (learn some basic steps). A variety of activities to keep our members active and inspired. What challenges have you faced or what have you been surprised by? Technology! Communicating with members via so many different ways WhatsApp, Texts, Social groups and making sure everyone has seen the communications! Also making so many quick decisions – not knowing if they are right but no time to procrastinate – trust your intuition! I have been so surprised how important classes are to people a familiar face. How well the on-line classes have been received. I did one I loved it. Connection is so important right now. It’s amazing what we can do in a week if we have to! What is your advice would you like to share to other teachers and the yoga community? Advice – it doesn’t have to be perfect just get something up and running asap. Keep your community close, involve your Teachers, ask for help, communicate not just email get on video pick up the phone. Think what else do customers need. Kindness will go along way so think long term not short term.

Nicole Andrews, FloYoga

What are you offering? We are running a full schedule on Zoom that is booked through mind body from Monday onwards. We started with some donation based classes on IG live for the last few days to trial out how online would work with our community. What challenges have you faced or what have you been surprised by? Really surprised by how much people wanted us to continue at home and its been so amazing the amount of support from our community and beyond practicing at such a challenging time with us and donating to help keep us alive! Challenges are things like music and how to set it up and use it online, how to see if everyone is getting what you are teaching and it is clear or the level etc in class, we hope to get some people using webcam when we go on to Zoom to combat this. What is your advice would you like to share to other teachers and the yoga community? It can be nerve–wracking especially the first couple of times, but like anything new it just takes practice and then you get more comfortable. It’s almost like a reminder of what it was like to start teaching all over again, and has you questioning everything as it’s live for the world to see! Without the ability to have live feedback from students in the room you don’t really know much till after. So really believe in yourself and what you’re doing, it can be daunting as there’s so many offerings but it’s no different to the options in person. Don’t compare yourself to other offerings online, let’s all support each other where we can and enjoy this new challenge! The post Teachers and Studios on Bringing Their Yoga Classes Online appeared first on Yogamatters Blog. Author: Yogamatters Source: https://www.yogamatters.com/blog/teachers-and-studio-owners-on-bringing-their-classes-online/ Discover more info about Yoga Poses for Two People here: Yoga Poses for Two Read the full article

[askanaroace]

[screenshots of a tumblr post: @multishipper-baby asked: Hey, I have a question! Can I identify as a bi aroace if I'm gray-romantic? I know it's still in the aro spectrum, but I don't want to make other aroaces uncomfortable and use a label that's not mine

/end ask

@biaroace answered:I’ll start off by saying that I cannot control what you or anyone else calls themselves. However, I will say that I personally wouldn’t be comfortable with someone aro/ace-spec [a-spec for short] using “bi aroace” for the sake of brevity alone (and this goes for any other flavor of oriented aroace). 

“Why? Ace-spec people call themselves ace all the time. How is this any different?” That’s because the dynamics of the ace community are very different: asexuals are prioritized within their own orientation. They don’t have to fight to be recognized within their own label. They don’t have to question whether a post employing the term “asexual” includes them or not. They aren’t hesitantly listed off fifth in a list of possible definitions at best and outright excluded at worst whenever someone asks “what’s an asexual?”. Rather, those were the plights of a-spec people. 

I believe that’s the very reason a-specs made their own terms, and adopted the terms of the dominant majority (aro/ace) as shorthand. It’s perfectly justifiable! It’s admirable, even! But to transfer this practice onto oriented aroace labels would be a grave mistake, because as of now, we hold nowhere near the influential power aces and aros hold within their own communities. If anything, it is a-specs who are prioritized over us. A-specs who are taken as being the more “acceptable” meaning of bi aroace (as opposed to us weird oriented aroace heathens with our ~non-romantic/sexual unspecified attraction~). A-specs who are the face of our very orientation despite employing it as a mere shorthand. You’re not sticking it to the big man by claiming “bi aroace” as an a-spec person. You’re repeating exactly what was done to you. In order to help us be rid of this dynamic, I encourage you to leave “bi aroace” to oriented aroaces and instead use the equally cool alternate shorthands provided by your very own aro/ace-spec communities. For instance, bi-grayro ace could act as a neat shorthand for you (plus it’s got the same amount of syllables!) :>

Finally, I’d like to thank you for having taken the time to send this message. Your mindfulness as an ally is greatly appreciated, and I hope my response cleared things up!!

/end answer

@babyferrettails reblogs with: Yes! I’m sick of people saying that someone who uses an “orientation+aroace” term to describe themselves are probably grayace or grayro. It completely undermines oriented aroaces which is unfortunately the norm in the community already. @biaroace I’m glad you took the time to type this up it explains it really well!

/end reblog

@aceexplorations reblogs with: So I️ understand where you peeps are coming from. I️ really do. But as someone who would like to identify as a lesbian aroace but can only get up the courage to identify as an aroace who desires a long term relationship but only with other women, I️ really don’t mind people who are aro/asespec identifying as a label-aroace.My reason is this: At the moment you never hear of ANYONE identifying as label-aroace and as a result anytime anyone does people, all people, question how that is possible. The more people use the label the faster others will get used to hearing it. And as long as people remember to include an explanation for how someone who is aroace and not aroacespec can be label-aroace I️ think getting people more familiar with the label can only help.Plus, I️ don’t believe in telling somebody how they should or should not identify. They should do whatever makes them feel the most comfortable.

/end caption]

Yeah... I'm actually incredibly uncomfortable with this push to limit who can identify how, especially in this context. I’m tagging @multishipper-baby to make sure he can see multiple perspectives on this, and thank you @aceexplorations for speaking up as well.

For one, the orientation+aroace format was something people were using before "oriented aroace" came about, and there are still people who identify this way who do not specifically identify as an oriented aroace. It'd be one thing if it was a natural progression of the term changing to mean something more specifically, but forcefully trying to push people out of a term that has been open to them before "oriented aroace" became a named, defined thing does not at all sit well with me.

For two, there are many reasons - all extremely valid - why some choose to verbally identify, identify only as, or in many cases shorten to aro/ace when they are aspec. For example, can be easier than getting into an even more detailed explanation and so plain exhaust them less. It could even mean that they feel more comfortable setting boundaries in not having to discuss personal matters that may make them uncomfortable. We've long been pushing that aromantic and asexual can absolutely be umbrella terms and that you don't have to identify as aspec or some certain aspec term if you don't want, aren't comfortable with, don't prefer, or are unsure where you otherwise stand. To limit that now after we've worked really hard to make these terms open and welcoming to folk who are constantly wondering if they belong... I can't tell you how many times I've seen demia folk asking if they're welcome in the community, and graya in particular was hit extremely violently by exclusionism (at one point, basically dying out as a known label and only recently being talked about again).

For three, it’s long been the tagline of the queer community (perhaps particularly for nonbinary and aspec people, but I am currently most involved in those communities) that labels are, first and foremost, for ourselves. Do we feel a connection to labeling a certain way, even if it’s merging or stringing together multiple terms? Does it help us communicate how we feel? Does it bring us a sense of relief to use the term? Then we should use it (excluding instances of cultural appropriation or other harmful actions)! I am not seeing a reason here why it harms either oriented aroaces or non-oriented aroace orientation+aroaces to both be using the format orientation+aroace.

Finally... I'm sorry, I'm just not at all understanding the point of limiting who can identify as an orientation+aroace. When we're creating strict and limiting turns, we have to ask ourselves: why? What purpose is this serving? Does it help more people than it hurts? Is it unnecessarily leaving people out/making people feel unwelcome and/or invalid?

Honestly, I understand the argument so little, I can’t even make a point against it, nor figure out what the heck question I should be asking. The aspec spectrums simply do not exist in some sort of hierarchy as you are implying. Some folk may have more visibility than others (due to the size of the community, how long they’ve been pushing for education - not due to a particular in community effort to maliciously destabilize ourselves), and it’s true that right now there’s a lot of valid discussions going on about how people need to be careful with their words (stop saying aromantic when you mean asexual), but nobody was gatekeeping orientation+aroace until these ideas on your blog started coming up.

I saw someone trying to argue that they wanted oriented aroace to have full ownership over orientation+aroace because they wanted it to be immediately clear to people that they were specifically aroace and not graya, to which, I’m sorry, but I have to call bullshit. Orientation labels honestly say very little about us and the true complexities of our feelings, and they work well that way!

For example, someone who identifies as bi may be someone: with a strong preference for one gender over another, someone who’s only attracted to a specific amount of genders, someone who’s attracted to multiple genders but may not even include one of the expected binary genders, someone with no discernable preference for one gender over another, someone who’s attracted to all genders but considers gender an important component of their attraction, etc. Someone saying they’re bi doesn’t tell you anything beyond the fact that they’re attracted to two or more genders!

Aro and ace have long been this way as well. Even aroace is as well! There are so many details and intricacies to our feelings, desires, repulsions, aversions, preferences, wants, etc. that no label could possibly encompass all important aspects of our identity! At some point, there’s gotta be a breakdown where we realize that labels are a quick summary of how we feel, not the end all, be all of who we are or how we’re allowed to feel.

Aspec people calling themselves aromantic, asexual, or aroace all know there is a tradeoff to not outright specifying the spectrum part of their identity, and they are making the choice for themselves that they are okay and comfortable with what that entails. It should not be up to us to try and shame them out of that. As aspec people, we are not taking anything from each other by using our own community’s terms!!! It’s a difficult amatonormative, sexnormative, heteronormative world we must navigate. Our terms and our community should make it easier for us to navigate these minefields, not create more minefields to trip each other up in.

I’d be completely fine if “oriented aroace” itself was a term to specifically be defined in a strict manner. I am not okay with the bold claims that oriented aroaces somehow own the pattern of merging together identity terms in non-standard ways to describe themselves, specifically owning oriented+aroace, of which I have an incredibly hard time believing they invented.

So far, I’m not seeing how it harms us to keep orientation+aroace something open. However, I am hearing from people who are hurt by trying to make it more exclusive.

[mjwiththefangs]

Beautifully Deadly (NaLu) #1

Chapter 1

Vampire/Supernatural AU

Rating: M

Summary:  "Supposedly an entire kingdom disappeared when their queen went beyond the borders, remember?" When Natsu Dragneel leaves the kingdom to investigate mysterious disappearances, he finds a much bigger adventure than he was bargaining for, including a beautiful vampire hidden away in an ancient castle. She has little to say about her past, or why she's locked away. Who did this to her? What has she been feeding on? One thing Natsu knows for sure that she is dangerous... Could she have something to do with the disappearances? "I'm sorry, Natsu, but I'm just so thirsty."

Chapters: 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5

Read it on: AO3 & FF.net

A/N: Hello! So, some of you may have seen this posted before, and i decided that, to make it easier to navigate this story, i’d create and organise a side blog with links to all the chapters :)

The idea for this had been on my mind for a long time, and now im finally committing to writing it up! I hope you enjoy!

'What were you?' he breathed, eyes fixed on the blonde beauty before him, 'before, I mean. What were you?' He added hastily.

She quickly masked a startled expression, and narrowed her eyes on him, 'I don't know what you mean.'

But he saw. Behind those dark honey eyes, he saw the flicker of grief, pain and surprise. She turned away from him, golden hair shining with the starlight.

'I was always a monster.' She hissed.

He clutched his side, ground his teeth together and dragged himself from the ground. His other hand brushed pink bangs from his face, running through unkempt hair and over long horns. He steeled himself and spoke again,

'No. I meant before you became a vampire. You can't fool a dragon's nose, you weren't born a human.'

She froze, rigid, back still turned from him. He knew that she would hear his heart hammering in his chest, but it wasn't from fear. No, it was the anticipation.

He gripped his side tighter. Something red and sticky clung to his fingers. He could feel his vision blurring. He swayed backwards, once again leaning on the wall.

He was met by darkened honey eyes, burning red, invading his personal space. Had he the energy left, he would have startled. Her tongue wet her lips quickly. Sharpened fangs protruding her mouth. Those eyes burned a deep scarlet now, flitting between his wound and his jugular.

He swallowed, Adam's apple bobbing.

'Lucy...' he whined her name softly, feeling his consciousness slipping away.

Gentle hands held him upright. Before he fell back to the blackness, he heard her whisper,

'I'm sorry, Natsu, but I'm just so thirsty.'

1 month earlier

He had been walking through the main town, heading to the stables, a pack on his back when he was stopped.

‘Natsu!’

At the sound of his name being called, the young man turned around.

‘Whats this I hear about you goin’ off on some adventure on your own?’ the owner of the voice accused; a young man with raven hair and dark blue eyes.

Natsu grinned at him, holding up his hands in mock surrender,

‘Alright, Frostbite, you caught me!’

The young man was Gray Fullbuster, Natsu’s best friend, and at times, his biggest rival.

‘Natsu, c’mon man.’ Gray protested, ‘if you're not telling where you plan on going, then it can only mean that you’re going beyond the borders!’ he waved his arms once, as though this would help get his point across. It failed however when his hand absently drifted to tug on his shirt.

Natsu sniggered, ‘nah, I could just be runnin’ away!’

Grays’ scowl deepened. He had now discarded his shirt, much to his friends’ amusement.

‘Natsu, you know how strict the King is about not leaving our borders, and for good reason, we don't know what's out there.’

Natsu straightened up now. He was planning an adventure, that was true. He was also planning on going beyond the borders. But he hadn't told anyone because he knew they would all try to stop him. So, in the dryest tone he could muster, he replied,

‘Sure, it's not like we already got a nest of dragons, an ice devil, or a she-devil living here.’

Gray, the ice devil in question, was fiddling with the buckle on his pants.

‘You got me there.’ he admitted, ‘but I still think you're being stupid, Flamebrain.’

Natsu shot an irritable look at his friend, snorting smoke at him,

‘Ice Princess.’

‘Pryo jerk’

‘Icickle moron’

‘Idiot.’ Gray said flatly, ‘Look, just, whatever your planning, don’t do it. People have disappeared out there. Supposedly an entire kingdom vanished when their queen went beyond the borders, remember?’

Natsu stilled at that. He’d heard the rumours, sure, but it was different hearing it from Gray. His father was part of the royal guard and up until recently had been the captain.

‘Silver still investigating that?’

‘Yea, both him and Erza are.’ Gray shrugged, ‘She told me you were sneakin’ off, by the way’

At that, a shiver ran up Natsu’s spine. Although the woman had been their friend from childhood, she was ferociously scary and had sent both of them to the healer on several occasions.

‘Ah.. Right.’ If Erza suspected him, then Natsu wouldn't have much time to start his impromptu trip. In truth, he had a hunch about these disappearances, and he intended to check it out himself. That would be difficult now though.

‘And what’s with the pack?’ Gray asked with suspicion.

Natsu put on his best grin for his friend,

‘it’s just fish for Happy!’ Which it was. He would need his beloved feline to stay quiet for his escape. But Gray didn't need to know that. Sheepishly rubbing his hair, he added,

‘I kinda took it when the cook wasn't lookin’. Happy likes the good stuff.’

Gray sighed,

‘So is that why Erza thinks you’re up to something? You know you shouldn’t even be in the King’s kitchens.’

Natsu shrugged. He was hoping his friend bought it. It wasn’t that he was lying to him, no he’d been completely honest so far, he was just missing out a few details.

A few big details.

He decided his chances of slipping away smoothly would be better if he left in the night. He  turned back towards the stables,

‘I’m heading to the barn now to feed him before I get caught.’ he jabbed a thumb in the direction he was going, ‘you stalking me there too, stripper?’

At the insult, Gray glanced at himself and swore under his breath. He was only wearing his undergarments, having shed his clothes during their conversation. Muttering to himself, he began to gather his clothes, shaking his head,

‘Nah, I’ll catch up to you later. Stupid habit..’

Natsu smirked, giving a brief wave as he strode away. He heard Gray shout after him once more,

‘Don’t do anything stupid!’

He waved behind himself, a shadow cast on his back.

.

Happy purred with delight when Natsu walked into the barn, rubbing himself on his masters’ legs and meowing for attention. Natsu grinned and pet the blue feline on the head,

‘Hey, buddy.’

He stopped by the cats' bowl, crouching down beside it, slinging his pack from his shoulder. He would need some fish to placate the cat later in the night, so pulled the smallest portion from his pack. Happy meowed louder, pouncing on the bowl.

Natsu chuckled, pet the feline again and straightened up. The barn was normally a pleasant hub of activity, being managed by the She-devil’s popular and polite younger sister, another shapeshifter. However, in the quiet afternoon light, the barn was empty, save for the horses (including a unicorn and a couple pegasi) and Happy. Natsu knew which stall he looking for, clucking his tongue softly as he approached.

He was answered with a whinny and saw the head appear over the door.

‘Hey boy..’ He reached out to pet his horse, rubbing the large face.

The wooden nameplate on the door was carved with ‘Atlas Flame’, and there hadn't been a horse as well suited to his name as this one.

Flame was a large chestnut stallion, fire occasionally flicking among the long strands of his mane and standing over 17 hands high. His coat shone as bright and bold as any of Natsu’s fire. He had once belonged to Natsu’s Father, Igneel, but had been gifted to him when it was decided the spirited stallion suited him well. Flame usually didn't take kindly to anyone other than Igneel even approaching him, as strong-willed as he was. Yet Natsu with his care-free attitude had struck up a good bond with the horse, surprising everyone who knew the stallion.

‘We’ve got a late ride out this time boy. I'm not sure when we’ll be back.’ Natsu spoke quietly, afraid of being caught in his plans, but took comfort in his sharpened senses telling him he was alone.

Flame snorted and nuzzled his shoulder. Natsu chuckled,

‘I’ll be sure to bring extra carrots.’ He promised.

He unlatched the door and walked inside. He had wanted to check that Atlas Flame was still fit for the journey ahead. He ran his hands down the stallions’ legs, checking the hooves, and then felt along his back.

Flame seemed to watch with amusement. Natsu was satisfied, patting him again, and reached the door. Flame snorted and returned to eating hay as Natsu left.

His next destination was the tack room, to do a quick once over of his equipment.

Once he was done, Happy sat by the barn entrance, as though waiting for him, the sun beginning to set in the sky behind him.

‘You coming back with me today buddy?’

In response, white wings sprouted from the cats’ back.

He grinned again. Despite being Draconic, Natsu couldn’t sprout his wings without feeling furious and subsequently setting fire to everything in his immediate vicinity. His horns were a different story. He just forgot to “put them away”.

‘You giving me a lift or just going to the roof?’

The answer to his question, it turned out, was the latter.

Natsu laughed and set off running for home in the dusk.

.

He had wanted to visit his Father before he left, He really had. But he knew that he wouldn’t be able to leave easily. He knew they would be worried. He knew that they would come here to look for him, in his rustic home.

His house was on the same land as his fathers. It wouldn't be long before someone came to look for him. So, he hastily scribbled a note, explaining he would be back soon, he had a lead, and not to worry.

He left the note in his house, in plain sight, so it would be easy to find when they came looking. Then, he slipped out under cover of darkness to the stables, bade Happy farewell with a pile of fish, tacked up Atlas Flame and rode off into the night.

.

In the dead of the night, there was chaos.

The bells tolled, ringing out the alarm.

The titania, Erza Scarlet, rallied the royal guard.

A white-winged, blue-furred cat meowed and took off to the skies in the direction of his master.

Gray cursed from his house, muttering under his breath,

‘That damned idiot!’

He watched knights running the streets, calling the urgent announcement,

‘King Igneel’s son is missing! Prince Natsu is gone!!’

[pcttrailsidereader]

How an App Made Hiking Easier (perhaps too easy)

An excerpt from Taylor Gee’s article in The Guardian examining the unintended consequences of Guthook Guides’ maps that have made outdoor adventures far less wild.  I must admit being old school myself and even feel sometimes that all of the information on Halfmile’s maps makes me feel a bit lazy.  Guthook Guides’ seems, at times, to remove the mystery from the trail.  What’s your reaction to Gee’s critique?

In March 2012, the Pacific Crest Trail changed for good when Cheryl Strayed’s memoir Wild, about her 1995 thru-hike of the trail, hit shelves and quickly became a New York Times bestseller. [Between the book and the movie] from 2013 to 2018, PCT applications nearly quadrupled.

But Wild wasn’t the only thing that transformed the trail that March. The same month, a thru-hiker named Ryan Linn quietly released an iPhone application called Guthook Guides. It took the entire set of tools needed for thru-hiking – a map, compass, guidebook and water reports – and consolidated them into a single virtual location. It functioned offline and crowdsourced updated information about trail conditions and campsites when online. Such an app might have been inevitable, but for ultralight-obsessed thru-hikers, it was a revolution.

Linn’s timing couldn’t have been more perfect. In the last three years, the app has been downloaded 337,000 times, and in 2018, a survey of 500 PCT hikers found that 85% used the app. What started in 2010 as a passion project is now a company that employs five people full-time and has mapped more than two dozen long trails around the world.

But as the the app’s empire continues to grow, many thru-hikers worry about its unintended consequences. They see themselves and fellow hikers depending on their phones to decide where to sleep and eat and to discover exactly how far, down to the tenth of a mile, they are from those places. They fear that American thru-hiking, once the ultimate test of self-reliance, is no longer as wild as it once was.

While attending Vassar College in 2002, Linn joined an outdoors club. The upperclassmen decided that the new recruits needed intimidating nicknames. One day, Linn and two other club members were driving past a hunting and fishing store and pulled over to wander the aisles for inspiration. Linn became “Guthook”, and it stuck through college and afterward, when he hiked the AT in 2007 and the PCT in 2010.

It was while hiking the PCT that Linn met Paul Bodnar, a guidebook author who was collecting GPS data on trail with the intent of updating a PCT guide he had published in 2009. In the era of “there should be an app for that”, it didn’t take long for the two to start talking about what a smartphone-based guide would look like. “We figured it would be something for us to do on the side, in between seasonal work,” says Linn, who since college had been doing various trail-crew and outdoor-education jobs.

After they finished their hike, Linn spent the next year and a half using the GPS data Bodnar had collected to create the first version of Guthook Guides, learning to code as he went. Visually, the app looks similar to the paper topographical maps hikers have used for decades. Virtual icons along the trail designate campsites, water sources, intersecting roads, and trail-town information. But unlike paper maps, Guthook Guides is GPS-enabled, and users can click on an icon to learn more or add a comment. The ability to leave comments, in particular, made Guthook Guides more than a guidebook. Hikers could tell other users whether a water source had gone dry, the quality of a campsite, and the friendliness of local businesses.

After the 2012 release, the app made just enough money for Linn to pay a friend to collect data while hiking the AT in 2013. (The app is free to download, but users must purchase guides for each trail.) The AT guide was released the next year. In 2015, Guthook Guides became available on Android phones. By then, Linn and Bodnar, the app’s co-creators, understood that Guthook Guides was no longer a side project. They went all in.

A sense of surviving in the wilderness is a major reason why a 2,000-mile hike is more than just a feat of athleticism. Taking a wrong turn, getting lost, navigating back – all that misadventure and the intellectual challenge of sorting it out makes for better stories than does walking in a straight line dictated by an app. Yet thru-hiking the PCT last year, I had to stop myself from checking the Guthook app as often as every hour. At one point, my hiking partner even instituted a no-Guthook rule, with the hope that we’d reclaim some sense of agency over our endeavor. Our self-imposed app ban didn’t last, because pretending we didn’t have this all-knowing resource in our pockets felt somehow inauthentic. Especially when most everyone else on trail was embracing it as reality.

It’s hard to overstate the impact that Guthook has had on the experience of thru-hiking. I talked to nearly a dozen hikers and trail managers who all seemed simultaneously concerned that the app enables hikers to lose self-reliance and awareness of their surroundings but couldn’t deny its supreme usefulness.

[PCT hiker Eric] Lee compares the impact of Guthook Guides to what Google Maps has done for driving. “We no longer have to think about landmarks and turns and street names. We just type our address into the phone and press go,” he says, noting that it undoubtedly makes thru-hiking an easier, more stress-free experience. But because of the app, he sees more hikers today who are not as viscerally connected to the trail. “They’re walking from waypoint to waypoint. It’s just a set of numbers.”

This effect has led to some pushback against the app. “I’ve encouraged people to not use it,” says Lucas Weaver, a 29-year-old fiber-optic technician who used Guthook Guides while hiking the Continental Divide Trail last year. “I’m not saying don’t get it, I’m saying don’t let it dictate, don’t rely on it.” Weaver is glad he hadn’t yet downloaded the app when he hiked the AT in 2015. “Being out there without any guide or technology makes it more adventurous,” he says.

The app’s popularity has coincided with the use of phones creeping into trails more generally. Now hikers have Instagram accounts to update with selfies, blogs to write, and loved ones to keep in touch with.

Sometimes use of the app enters into the absurd. “We came across many hikers who would use the app to the point they would lose common sense,” says Jen Nicholson, a 29-year-old physical therapist who also thru-hiked the Continental Divide Trail last year. She recalls hikers who insisted on walking five feet off to the side of the trail because their GPS told them that’s where the path was.

Then there are the stories of hikers relying on trail apps who lose or break their phones or even just run out of battery. For those who forgo paper backup maps to save weight (I was guilty of this myself), a dead phone makes getting lost more frightening than thrilling. Rachel Brown, membership-services manager for the Continental Divide Trail Coalition, recalls encountering this multiple times when hiking the trail in 2015. A friend of hers lost her phone, spent hours searching for it, didn’t find it, and had no backup maps. “She ended up camping out at a really confusing trail junction for three days until somebody else came,” Brown says. Another time, Brown hiked with a man who dropped his phone into a creek. “He ended up sticking like glue to my partner and me,” she recalls. “It was a little frustrating for us, because it kind of felt like we were babysitting. He was always there.”

Perhaps most telling is Guthook’s own experience. Last summer on a backpacking trip, Linn found he had drifted off of a poorly marked trail. “I stopped, and I was about to grab my phone,” says Linn. “Now I have to really consciously tell myself, ‘No, no, no. You just noticed you’re off the trail, go and find it.’��� Linn is thoughtful about how his app has affected life on trails. “There are downsides to every new technology in the wilderness,” he admits. “Probably people are using Guthook a little more than I would have wanted.”

For all the good and the bad attributable to Guthook Guides, the consensus is things are just different now. In 2003, Eric Lee accidentally turned off the PCT and hours later ran into another hiker who told him he was going the wrong way. Lee didn’t believe him. “We brought out paper maps and discussed it for 15 minutes” before the other hiker convinced Lee of the truth. Back then that was part of the experience, and maybe even charm, of the trail. “Today that would never happen,” says Lee. “But I’m OK with that.”

[himluv]

I’m so excited to share this new layout with all of you! I really like this one. It’s crisp, super easy to navigate, and very professional looking. It also feels a bit more dynamic than last year’s. I’m not sure if that’s because of the contrasting aqua and purple (my favorite colors), or the widgets, or the site logo, but I do know I like it a lot.

Now, let’s get down to business and talk about what the heck happened in 2018!

In 2018 I said I wanted to:

Finish The Steel Armada

Finish Santa Sarita

Submit 2 short stories

Publish 52 blog posts

Read 65 books

Maintain my yoga practice

 How’d it go?

Finish The Steel Armada

…Yes! As far as I’m concerned, right now, this project is stamped ‘done’. It turned out nothing how I planned, and became almost a complete rewrite halfway through 2018. The Steel Armada became Exodus: Descent, a SolarPunk novella. I sent it to Tim the Agent™ back in August, but have not heard from him. I’m shelving it for now, though I have plans for future novellas set in the same world. So, final status of this project is: Done for now.

Finish Santa Sarita

No. I thought so, and then BAM, another sequel appeared. I bit off a lot with this one, and I’m a little worried about it. So, this will be a pretty high priority in 2019. I don’t want this project lingering over my head anymore. Project status: In Progress.

Submit 2 short stories

Heck yes! This was much easier to do than I thought when I made this goal. So much so that by the end of 2018 I had three stories out for submission.

Publish 52 blog posts

Yep. And then some. This was, hands-down, the best year the blog has ever had. 119 posts, an average of one comment per post, and over 5,000 hits this year has really blown my mind. Consistency really is key.

Read 65 books

Yes! I read 67 books this year! It wasn’t easy, by any means, but I had just enough time and graphic novels to really pad my Goodreads Challenge.

Maintain my yoga practice

Hahaha. No. I got bronchitis two weeks into 2018 and fell out of my practice. I’m contemplating trying again this year, but with two jobs and some lofty writing goals, I’m not sure if I can dedicate the time.

2018 Total Word Count: 149,331 

Honorable Mentions

2018 was an eventful year, both personally and in my working life. I received a scholarship to attend the Oregon Writer’s Colony Annual Conference in April, which really affirmed that I’m on the right track and making strides in this whole writing life thing. Right about that time I started submitting my short stories for the first time in over four years. That was a roller coaster all its own, and has been a great learning experience and growth opportunity for me.

June saw my traditional wave of summer depression. I coped by binge-playing Horizon Zero Dawn and eating way too many Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

But, July and August were some of my most productive months of the year, with the completion of Exodus and the rough draft of my newest short story, That Which Illuminates Heaven.

September was the least productive month of the year, and reasonably so because we spent 12 days in Germany! It was an amazing trip, the exact vacation we so desperately needed, and our first journey abroad together. We hope to spend more time in Munich someday, especially for Christmas. And of course, we have other travel dreams! Ireland, New Zealand, Italy, the UK! The world is a big place, and I want to see as much of it as we can.

October was spent readjusting to working two jobs and outlining and researching for my new novel. Writing was limited and that sucked, but it was all part of the plan. It worked out, because I met my word count goal for November, with a startling 25k words! That’s about a third of the planned manuscript, which is kind of crazy if I think about it too much.

December is a busy month in our house, what with my birthday and the holiday. Add in the mental recuperation from Nanowrimo and it meant I just didn’t expect much from myself that month. But I did finish my reading goal while I let my writing muscle relax!

I read 16,300 pages across 67 titles in 2018!

I also flexed my editing muscle this year with The Audient Void. We released two issues this year, and are on the cusp of releasing a new chapbook of some of David Barker’s previously unpublished short stories, Half in Light, Half in Shadow.

2018’s word was FOCUS. It was my mantra, the thing I came back to when I felt out of control or like I was drowning in my workload. Based on how well my year went, I think it worked. So, I want to pick a new word for 2019:

INTENT.

I want to be purposeful in my writing, I want to take the time to better learn my craft and write with more intention. I don’t really know what that will mean for my writing just yet, but I bet I will by January 1, 2020.

What am I doing in 2019?

I am finishing the Tavi rough draft. I’m already a third of the way there. In an ideal world this rough draft will be done by the end of March/beginning of April. Realistically, this will take the first half of the year.

I will finish Santa Sarita. This is a big job still. I think, right now, I’m really stuck in my head about it. I need to sit down and start writing this story again and let it take the reins. I honestly think that’s the only way it’ll get done.

I will revise Cards. This is the project that comes after the Tavi rough draft. I wrote Cards back in 2014, and I’ve learned a lot since then. Much like The Steel Armada, I anticipate Cards will require extensive rewrites. But, I’m ready. I learned how to do that last year and I’m equipped with the skills and knowledge to do it again this year.

I will publish something! This is a tricky one. I don’t actually have much control over this goal. There are a lot of factors that go into getting a piece published and almost none of them are decided by me. But, I have three stories out right now. I want at least one of them to find a home.

I will publish two blog posts a week. I’ve got this into a rhythm now, so I’m confident I can do it again.

I will read 70 titles. I exceeded my reading goal this year, it only makes sense to increase it in 2019.

If time allows, I’d like to…

Make considerable progress (30k words) on From the Quorum. This novel is the first in a planned trilogy, and is my longest-lived idea. I first met these characters in 2009, and they are still around, patiently waiting for me to tell their story. I don’t know if I’ll make much progress on it this year, but  it will definitely be a priority in 2020.

Write a new short story! I have three out now that are performing well. It’s just a matter of time before one of them finds a home. It’d be nice to have one waiting in the wings and ready to go when that finally happens.

Submit Exodus to novella markets. I actually think this one is pretty likely to happen. But, with Tavi and Cards looming, this won’t be on my radar until the later half of the year.

There’s a lot to do in 2019. I probably bit off more than I can chew, especially since I’m working two jobs right now. There’s also always the reading and editing for Madhu and The Audient Void to consider.

So, in short, I’m a busy busy lady and nothing about that will change in 2019. I look forward to sharing that journey with all of you in the coming months.

I’ll be back later this week with the Monthly Recap!

Until then, Blogland.

  BZ

New Year’s, New Look – 2019 I'm so excited to share this new layout with all of you! I really like this one.