#i hope no one has done this one yet

[vanrougenui]

Scenario: Rook after getting his hair cut

Rook: Tell the truth.

Vil: It's horrendous.

Rook: It's HORRENDOUS.

Vil: It's modern.

Rook: Don't lie!!

Vil: I am not!

Rook: I.. I look like a pencil!!

Vil: You... You don't.. It's okay! It's cool!

Rook: It's not cool.. Don't laugh!!

Vil: It's edgy!

Rook: Oh fuck off!! It's unsalvageable!!

Vil: ROOK IT'S FRENCH!!

Rook: *Looks at Vil* Really???

Vil: YES!!

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[thepunkpanther]

BOTTOMS + trivia

[ctrsdoesart]

Sonic 3 in a nutshell

[theangelofbrahma]

[fischiee]

it was an honor being queerbated with you all 🫡

[naetles]

GET SEALED BY THE POWER OF BOOP

[ashes-in-a-jar]

In honor of tmagp's digitized spooks I present you with Fear!Clippy

[wigglysloth]

Saw the boy and the heron recently and i couldn’t get this composition idea out of my head :D

[ricky-mortis]

I had to do it- it was just too silly not to

Original under the cut :)

[dixenjackal]

The amount of money I would pay for there to be a spinoff of them…

Growllan is @oat-pup ‘s oc

Nek is mine (frowning friends glep)

Og poster below the cut in case you haven’t seen it

[advanced-fangirlism]

[moomoootakudraws]

Help what did i just make💀😭

[kapacb413]

[deadpoolya]

if I had a nickel for every time marvel studios released a project about a fourth wall breaking superhero with their love interest appearing in yellow suit for the first time on screen and the final scene of that project is a family dinner where the love interest is wearing a gray plaid shirt i'd have two nickels which isn't a lot but it's weird it happened twice.

[krispytm]

Noticed there was a rainbow in jerma gifs on discord and was inspired

edited and recorded by @dragoquing

meme made by me