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juustokaku · 5 hours ago

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Confidentiality - Chapter 8. - yandere!ATEEZ OT8 x f!reader

Introduction: Joining a peer support group for mentally ill was a good idea for the last two times you were there. Then it's only natural for the third time to go well too, right?

Pairings: yandere!Hongjoong x reader, yandere!Seonghwa x reader, yandere!Yunho x reader, yandere!Yeosang x reader, yandere!San x reader, yandere!Mingi x reader, yandere!Wooyoung x reader, yandere!Jongho x reader

T/W: This story will include talk about mental health struggles such as body dysmorphia, paranoid thoughts and more. Possessive and obsessive behavior, stalking, manipulation, violence. Dark themes are to be expected. A brief situation of harassment (not by any of the members) in this chapter. A/N: Forgive me for the long wait! I hope the chapter won't be disappointing or incoherent... I like writing this story but my own judgmental thoughts honestly are a kill of joy. I'm happy to receive feedback, be it constructive criticism or positive words. I hope someone will enjoy this <3 Word count: 4 062 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once again, you held the phone to your ear. The sound of the phone ringing was quiet and stable but it did not lessen your anxiety at all. Eventually it stopped ringing, leaving you in heavy silence.

Jongho hadn’t answered this time either. You had tried to call him at least 20 times in a span of couple days, but it was like he had disappeared from the face of the Earth. Despite being upset at him, you were more worried than you wanted to admit. You also missed him, his stoic nature, and the unexpected moments of sweetness.

Frustrated, you tossed the phone away. Was Jongho so childish and stubborn that he hid from you on purpose after you had kicked him out of your home? Or could he be in danger? You couldn’t help but feel bad for banishing him. That was how he probably wanted you to feel, but there was nothing to do about the feeling.

Spring, the season of hope and new beginnings, was near so the weather was warming up. Still, it was already late in the evening. The nights at that time of the year were still cold, and you grabbed a warm jacket; one that did not attract attention. You feared the possibility that some creep would notice and follow you in the dimly lit streets of the little city you lived in.

Maybe in another life you would have liked walks outside. But this world was evil. If you already hated being outside even in the daylight, when the moon rose on the sky, your senses were heightened to a maximum.

The walk to Jongho’s place wasn’t practically that long despite it being on a completely different area of the city. He actually lived in a house instead of a crappy, crampy apartment like you did.

You were always astonished by his house. It was of an appropriate size but screamed how rich he was. A slightly annoyed huff fell from your lips as you thought about how he had said you couldn’t go ice skating for it being too expensive. Dude lived in the most prestigious area of the city but complained about the cost of ice skating. The memory made you smile nonetheless.

There was a gate separating his yard and house from the street. You rang the doorbell on it, wishing sincerely he’d let you in or at least talk to you.

The weather wasn’t windy but you still felt cold. Maybe Jongho would see you shivering and let you in out of pity. That is if he was even alive anymore.

The house stood dark and tall in front of you, and the only thing separating you from Jongho was the gate. Your heart clenched at the unbearable thought of having lost him forever. Losing his friendship felt even harder knowing that you had never had much friends in the first place.

After 10 minutes, you walked away from the house, steps heavy 9with disappointment. You had driven Jongho away with your anger. It was difficult to remember in that moment that your anger had been completely justified. You just wanted to see Jongho again.

As if the situation hadn’t been depressing enough already, small, cool drops of water fell on your skin. Even the sky was crying with you.

You kept walking, bravely telling yourself that you didn’t care about the rain turning into a downpour. But eventually, it started bothering you too much. It was cold, wet and dark, and you felt yourself getting frustrated.

You found a shelter next to a small grocery store that was nearing its closing hours. Sure, it would have been wiser to go inside the store to warm up for a moment, but you were just going to stay in the shelter for a moment for the rain to stop.

Some people walked past you out of the store occasionally but you were too deep in your thoughts to pay attention to it. Then a voice of a man clearly talking to you snapped you out of it.

“Waiting for the rain to stop, huh?”

“Yeah,” you glanced at the man quickly, not wanting to give him too much attention.

Noticing that the middle-aged man was dressed up in dirty clothes and reeked of alcohol made you already uneasy. But the look in his dazed eyes was more concerning; he eyed you up and down, and smiled at you. It was not a kind nor inviting smile. It was a predatory smile flashed at you with yellow teeth.

“I can wait with you so you won’t be lonely.”

You felt your heartrate speed up. There was no way that man had good intentions with the way he shifted closer to you.

“Thanks, but there’s no need to... Your groceries should be taken to your fridge quickly before they get bad.”

Your attempt to politely refuse his offer didn’t work.

“Oh, sweet girl. Don’t worry, I don’t have any purchases that need immediate care,” the man grinned and moved closer once again to show the contents of his plastic bag.

It didn’t surprise you to find the bag was filled with beer bottles. You had to come up with a new excuse.

“What about your wife? She’s surely waiting for you already.”

“Hm? You’re prettier than her. Not so wrinkly and not always nagging about my drinking.”

You felt disgusted on so many levels; the man had no right to talk that way about his wife when he looked like a malformed abomination of a rat that had escaped from the sewers. Hell, no man should talk about their own wife like that, no matter the looks.

“A pretty girl like you deserves a man like me. Young men nowadays are so feminine and sensitive,” the man smirked arrogantly, “A true man knows his own power and how to use it to his advantage.”

Your hand slipped inside your pocket. It was not for warmth but for reaching the pepper spray. Everyone used to laugh at you for carrying that because you’d probably never have to use it. But you’d have the last laugh.

“What are you hiding in your pockets?” the man’s eyes were directed at your hands, a deep frown settling on his face.

“J-Just warming up my hands.”

“Bullshit. Are you trying to call the police on me?”

If you were afraid before, now you were definitely terrified. How could you even use the pepper spray when your hands were trembling in fear?

“You stupid bitch. What did I even do? Women don’t appreciate compliments these days anymore!” the man shouted angrily, and instead of standing lazily like before, he turned his body wholly towards you.

You couldn’t freeze in that moment. No way in hell were you going to let that man touch you.

But as you were about to pull the pepper spray from your pocket, a familiar voice caught both your and the man’s attention.

“Step away from her.”

Your head snapped into the direction of the voice, and you noticed; Yunho stood there, firm and commanding. For the first time in your life, you saw him in a good light. The long coat he wore could have been a superhero cloak, that’s how grateful you were.

“Who are you to command me like that?” the drunkard scoffed at Yunho.

But as Yunho walked closer, the man seemingly realized how much taller Yunho was, how much at disadvantage the man was.

“I’m telling you one last time to step away and leave immediately.”

“Pfft. What are you? A policeman?” the man attempted to assert dominance and show off his fragile masculinity.

“In fact, I am. Although I’m off-duty, I have a couple weapons with me,” Yunho said, clearly not intimidated at all, “I won’t shoot you but I can guarantee that getting tazed doesn’t feel pleasant either.”

To emphasize his words, Yunho pulled out a taser and swung it in his hands. The other man’s defiant expression morphed into a pathetic look of fear.

“Sorry, man. I’ll go,” the man rushed away like there was a tail between his legs.

You looked at Yunho with admiration. Even the guilt for doubting his intentions and nature before didn’t shake your mind at that moment; you just needed desperately to show your appreciation for him.

Still, the best you could do was look at Yunho with wide eyes and utter a few words.

“Thank you.”

Yunho smiled, looking almost giddy when you talked to him, “I just did my duty.”

“Your duty as a policeman?”

“Yes, but mostly my duty as your personal protector.”

A little giggle left your lips at Yunho’s comment. There was a warm feeling of gratitude in your chest. Yunho had never been a bad man after all although acting quite weirdly occasionally.

“I’m more than just grateful. You saved me from a dangerous situation.”

Yunho’s cheeks flushed and an adorable, sheepish smile spread on his lips. Having been always suspicious of him, you hadn’t realized before how sweet he looked every time you talked to him.

“Let me walk you home. You must be scared after meeting that creep,” Yunho extended his hand out for you. In his other hand he held an umbrella which had a Spiderman print.

What was the worst thing that could happen if you took his hand in yours?

You felt like the company of a man who had proven his good intentions would bring you safety on your way home. You grabbed Yunho’s large hand in yours, feeling comforted yet a little nervous.

“So, you like Spiderman?”

Yunho chuckled at your question. He seemed overjoyed to walk hand-in-hand with you even though it was raining cats and dogs.

“He’s what I want to become. A hero.”

You smiled softly and couldn’t resist the temptation to say something corny, “You’re already my hero.”

Yunho laughed heartily and glanced at you. His eyes were twinkling, replacing the stars that couldn’t be seen that night due to the clouded sky.

“What are you doing out this late anyways?” he inquired.

The air felt a little colder again as your thoughts wandered to Jongho.

“Jongho has disappeared. I’ve tried to contact him but there’s no answer,” you revealed, “I went to his house tonight in hopes of finding him there, but it’s like he’s avoiding me.”

Something flickered in Yunho’s eyes for a split second before a thoughtful look set on his face. He squeezed your hand a little.

“That must be rough. He’s your boyfriend after all.”

“Well, not anymore. There was an incident that led to me breaking up with him,” you muttered.

The man next to you nodded and spoke again, “I can help you find him. I’m a policeman, you know? We may not have enough reason to report him as missing, but I have my knowledge of finding missing people as my offer.”

Yunho’s hand may have been warm but the smile on his face was even warmer; it comforted you.

When the two of you eventually stood at your doorstep, Yunho’s reluctance to let go of your hand was clear. His eyebrows were slightly furrowed in concern.

“Are you okay? The man must have scared you badly.”

You let go of Yunho’s hand to pull the pepper spray out of your pocket.

“You’re my favorite hero but this one will come in handy sometimes too,” you chuckled.

Yunho smiled, “Just call me whenever you need help with anything. And I mean anything.”

You offered your phone for Yunho to type in his number. Suddenly, he frowned.

“Why is your home screen wallpaper a picture of you and Yeosang?” he asked, voice a few degrees colder than before.

It was strange to see that sweet man get so worked up over a simple picture.

“Yeosang is practically my only friend. I like to have a reminder of that now I have someone to rely on.”

The embarrassment in your voice was clear as you were forced to explain your sad situation of friendships. At least Yunho’s expression softened.

“I’ll be your friend from now on. Make sure to spend time with me... and change that wallpaper,” Yunho spoke.

The next week Jongho wasn’t at the group therapy meeting. Just like the week before, he was gone, leaving you worried. But at least now you had someone who would be able to help search for him.

The room felt so empty without him but no-one else seemed to care.

Charlotte didn’t even question Jongho’s absence that time, just moving straight to the activities of the day.

“Find yourself a pair,” Charlotte guided with a mysterious smile, “I won’t tell you what the activity is yet.”

Wooyoung and San paired up immediately, and Seonghwa and Hongjoong glanced at each other in agreement. They had found their cliques, the person who they got along with the best. It was beyond your understanding though how someone as sweet as Seonghwa could like Hongjoong.

You didn’t even have time to get up from your seat when Yunho had appeared in front of you like out of thin air. You felt a little intimidated and small while he stood over you, but the fear you used to feel around him was gone. He was just a gentle giant, the hero who had saved you from a situation that could have escalated.

“Be my pair,” Yunho requested.

His request was tempting but there was someone else standing a little farther away, looking at you longingly; it was Yeosang.

“I think Yeosang wants-”

“Please,” Yunho said, voice soft and almost vulnerable.

You didn’t want to betray Yeosang but Yunho’s sad look tugged at your heartstrings. It didn’t take too long for you to give an apologetic look to Yeosang and a nod for Yunho.

From the corner of your eye, you saw Yeosang walk over to Mingi and pair up with him. You’d apologize to Yeosang later.

Yunho sat down next to you, his long legs brushing against yours briefly. Now that he was sitting next to you just like the first time you met, he seemed satisfied.

“The topic of today is relationships to other people. Discuss with your partner about the person who has the most meaning in your life right at this moment,” Charlotte revealed the task.

That was the hardest topic for you so far. There had never been much people to start with who would have cared about you as you cared about them. It was a curse to love but to be unable to be loved. Sometimes you wished upon the stars that you could stop caring about people. However, no matter how much you cried after lost friends, the universe just brought more people to lose into your life.

Maybe that’s why Jongho’s disappearance bothered you so much. Losing another friend was expected but the way he had completely vanished was slowly breaking you apart. You couldn’t help but blame yourself. It had been completely justified to kick him out of your apartment that day he threw the plate on Yeosang’s face; you shouldn’t feel ashamed.

“Y/N? Are you okay?”

Yunho’s voice brought you back on Earth, saving you from your drowning thoughts.

You might have lost Jongho’s friendship but you gained Yunho’s. It was just the matter of time when you’d mess up that situation as well.

“I’m okay. I was just thinking what to talk about in this topic,” your smile was weak yet reassuring enough.

“If it helps you, I can go first,” Yunho suggested.

At your nod, Yunho began to talk about the person who meant the most to him. His eyes practically shined like he was passionate about the chance to finally tell you about the love of his life.

“There’s a woman who stole my heart a couple years ago. I haven’t been able to think about anyone else after she caught my attention.”

It was honestly adorable to hear Yunho ramble about the woman. A hint of jealousy gnawed at your insides; for someone to love you like Yunho loved the woman was a dream.

“The way she walked out of the police station, the way she talked to the other officers, scared and needing help... It made me realize the meaning of my life isn’t to protect all the people. It’s to protect her.”

Yunho was clearly devoted. His words were sweet at first. The way he talked about her was a clear indication of how much she had affected his life. But suddenly his words took a slightly darker turn.

“I’ll do whatever it takes to keep her safe and happy in my arms. It doesn’t matter if I have to burn her house or the whole world as long as she runs to me for safety,” Yunho spoke, his voice loving, the complete opposite of his words.

“Wow, she’s one lucky girl,” you chuckled nervously.

Surely Yunho must have meant it as a joke. He was a man of justice, not an arsonist.

“She’s my lucky girl,” Yunho smiled softly at you, “So, who is the person you hold dear to your heart?”

You still hadn’t come up with a good answer. The only friends you had in that moment were Yeosang and Yunho, but you knew neither of them well enough. Jongho had grown quite close with you, at least you liked to think so, but he was gone now.

“I don’t really have people who are close to me,” you admitted reluctantly, feeling unsure if you should tell these kinds of things.

“Just say anyone.”

“Well, I think Yeosang is the closest to me right now.”

Yunho’s encouraging smile turned into a frown. It baffled you; there was always a chance that you could be the woman Yunho loved, but he had mentioned having met her a couple years ago already.

“Yeosang? Why him?”

“I think he’s kind to me, and we’ve hung out a lot.”

Your murmured explanation didn’t satisfy Yunho. It was obvious how hard he tried to control his facial expressions, to hide how upset he was.

“Haven’t I been kind to you?” Yunho inquired.

“Yes, you have but-”

“Did you change your wallpaper yet?”

“I-I forgot,” as soon as you answered, Yunho grabbed your purse and started going through the contents of it.

Your eyes widened as he took the matter of changing your wallpaper into his own hands. He was rummaging through your little bag, and you couldn’t let that happen. A woman’s purse was a private thing, especially when that woman was slightly paranoid at the excuse of valued safety.

“Hey! Give it back,” you reached for your purse.

Yunho didn’t care and kept taking things out of it, letting them fall to the floor. Some makeup, a hairbrush and wallet were already in everyone’s sight.

“Yunho, give Y/N her bag back, please,” Charlotte finally tried to stop the situation but her spineless words meant nothing to Yunho.

You tried desperately to gather your things before anything too personal would be revealed, but Yunho just kept throwing things out.

“What is this?” Wooyoung grabbed an object from the floor, inspecting it in his hand.

Your face heated up at the sight of Wooyoung holding something private. Gazing at him angrily from the floor, you were about to demand him to give it back.

“That’s a woman diaper!” Mingi exclaimed, shocked at the unbelievable, astonishing, mind-blowing sight of a menstrual pad.

You couldn’t believe this was happening. All your stuff on the floor for everyone to see and judge, and now Wooyoung and Mingi had humiliated you with their discovery.

“No, Mingi. That is called a menstrual pad,” Charlotte spoke softly like talking to a child.

You wished Jongho was there to knock some sense into everyone. Most likely, he wouldn’t have even done that, but you liked to believe he would have defended your honor. The honor that went down the drain like your appreciation and respect for Yunho.

San snatched the pad from Wooyoung’s hands, clearly frustrated. With no hesitation he walked to you and kneeled down on your level.

“Let me help you,” he said quietly and gave you the pad.

It was just a mere hygiene product, but to you, it felt like he was giving the prettiest flower bouquet ever. In your moment of helplessness, he had wanted to help you.

San started gathering the objects from the floor to their rightful place, your purse. His lips were pressed tightly together like he was feeling annoyed.

“You don’t have to help if you don’t want to,” you spoke quietly, feeling exhausted because of the emotional rollercoaster.

“I want to help,” he looked up a little to give you a gentle smile, “What kind of a person would I be if I didn’t?”

“Apparently the kind everyone else is.”

San chuckled at your bitter mumble. You could see he was holding back his own irritation to calm you down.

Soon, Yeosang joined in to help you and San. You were grateful for those two; the only people in the room you respected. Seonghwa had the potential to be one of those as well, but his friendship with Hongjoong made you mentally avoid him.

Once all your belongings were back in the purse, you turned to Yunho. It was hard to be angry at people whether you knew them well or not; if you knew someone well, you were afraid they’d leave you and if you didn’t know them well, you were afraid they’d be violent. That’s why expressing your feelings of hurt felt dangerous.

You snatched your phone away from Yunho. Surprisingly, the wallpaper hadn’t been changed.

“Why is the wallpaper still the same?” you were gritting your teeth as you spoke.

“I couldn’t unlock your phone,” Yunho’s expression turned guilty, “Look, I’m sorry-”

“Save it. I’m going home.”

You had gone through that terrible moment just for Yunho to not even change your wallpaper. Sure, you should have been glad he couldn’t unlock your phone, but it felt somehow so futile.

As you rid the bus home, you couldn’t help but think; the group therapy didn’t feel helpful or healing at all. You had found Yeosang and Jongho through it, but at what cost? One of the members was a stalker for God’s sake.

Speaking of which, you hadn’t noticed much signs of the stalker in the near days. Would it have been naive to think that fake dating Jongho could have scared him away? Probably yes.

You got off the bus and started making your way back to home. Usually, it was darker at that time of the day, but the seasons were changing. You wished you could change too. You wished you could put an end to your sickness and struggles, to live a normal life, so you wouldn’t have to deal with the sickos at the group therapy.

Maybe it was time to stop going to the therapy. You’d rather live without the social assistance of the government than step inside the nightmarish room of armchairs and supposedly therapeutic talk again.

As you arrived at your door, you reached into your purse like you did every day. A twinge of panic twitched inside your chest as you couldn’t find your keys. They were most likely just deeper inside the purse, and you’d have to look again.

But no matter how much you searched, the keys weren’t there in your purse, jingling like they always did. There was no sight of them even when you emptied the whole purse.

You were positive you, Yeosang, and San had picked up all the objects from the floor. All your other belongings were with you but the keys were gone. It would have been more pleasant if the damn pad had been left behind, but now you were denied the access to your own apartment.

It was possible that someone took your keys when they were still on the floor.

But now the most important thing was to find a place you could sleep at. You didn’t trust your neighbors and you couldn’t afford a hotel room. After some thinking you realized your only option was to beg Yeosang to let you sleep in his apartment. Such a splendid idea to have a sleepover with a man you met in a therapy group for mentally ill. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ <- Chapter 7. Chapter 9. -> Masterlist ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Taglist: @devilzliaison @lover-with-dolar-sign-is-a-loser @passerbyforfun @gigikubolong29 @peqchplvto

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chronicsheepdrawing · 10 months ago

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When I am dead, don't bury me

-Hatty Dunlap, 2024

When I am dead, don't hold a funeral.

Sitting in rows

Weeping

For what could've been

And displaying pictures of happier times

Around intricate floral arrangements.

This would be too costly

For nothing

But a husk.

When I am dead, don't bury me.

For that would require a plot of land

Set aside

So that I may peacefully rest,

And a sturdy coffin

Lined in soft fabric

To lay my weary head upon.

All of this

Is an expense

Too great to bare.

When I am dead, don't burn me.

For this you need a chamber

Hot enough

To turn bodies to ash

And an urn

Delicate,

Yet durable

To hold my essence

Eternally.

Still this

Is too much

For a house such as mine.

When I am dead, don't identify me.

Let the smear on the side of the road

Or the skeleton in the apartment

Or the bloated corpse in the river

Be forever unknown.

Ensuring that

No individual

Takes on the burden

Of something

Which is already gone.

When I am dead, don't remember me

My clothes

And toys

And everything I am linked to

I will no longer use.

So sell them

With my memories

To buy bread

So that you may eat.

For I made no great impact

Or monetary contribution

Or benefit to society

Which had more value

Than the price

of handling my corpse.

#poetry #suicide tw #okay to reblog #drowning tw #Just thinking how it's too expensive to even die in America #And how my household without income won't be able to pay for the storage where my Dad and late Dog's urns are kept next month #Sure we'll get an apartment that'll be paid for soon but I'm just physically Ill and emotionally tired #We had to give our dogs up and supposedly they were adopted together #But I miss them #I tried to design adopts recently in hopes of being able to pay some things but of course #Despite my work only one has sold #I know this won't last forever but I'm just so tired

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depraved-gf · 9 months ago

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#ptsd keeps me awake #the nightmares are horrific #everything hurts #i don't know how long this episode will last #push everyone away. isolate. be safe. you're not safe #you're not safe with anyone #therapists won't call me back #i'm terrified #i'm so sorry i'm so broken #the people in my life deserve better than a broken doll #i hate you for what you've done to me #ruining the ONLY good thing i've ever known #this was your karma.#“i'll be with you forever. long after you leave me”#you took half my life before i escaped. leave me alone #you're the devil incarnate.#i hope you rot in hell.

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sepiasys · 1 month ago

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Got hit with that weird feeling again, but I wouldnt quite describe it as hope?

It rlly is just the feeling of being suddenly really aware of your situation in life. But specifically that it's not bad.

#sepiasys.txt #Had a lot of reflection ^^;; And I think I still want to think about this stuff?#I am *happy*; or atleast content. The fears and worries have been washed away (probably purely bc I can draw).#I'm sure things will feel scary again if I get questioned or things get uninstalled. I hope not. But right NOW; things feel... good? idk ^^;#It just feels strange. It feels weird to have the good so separate from the bad ^^;; I know there is bad but I'm not experiencing it..?#Not now atleast. and we've kinda always tried to have the mindset that what is happening presently matters more than worrying for the future #or overthinking and regretting the past ^^;; I guess that's a way of explaining how we 'got over' anxiety and depression(?); huh? Even if a #friend (multiple) was able to call out that we're very anxious (insert jokes about getting me to smoke weed with them /lh(/t? /pf?)#nakxhjsnd brain is becoming soupy mushy goop sorta so thinking is not simple anymore but yeah. Uh. Things feel weird ^^;; But in a good way?#It won't be forever; I know that! But I hope we can enjoy the good for as long as it lasts <:3 #Now to think about drawing the red haired little FREAK‼️ (idk what or who it is but there's like. something. something there.)

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byanyan · 6 months ago

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the amount I've been hoarding away some of the memes I've seen on the dash over the last week or so is so not okay for someone with as many drafts as me ashfjdh

#me: i want to focus on getting through all my drafts when i get some energy back #also me: but good & juicy memes........#I'm thinking I'm gonna lean more into doing whatever the hell pleases me once I get back to writing tbh #but I'm almost definitely throwing all the drafts into a paused queue that I won't start posting until they're all finished #will I reblog a meme or two to play with as I do that? probably. almost definitely.#fresh stuff always helps get my brain going again ahdjgsg #but know that drafts will be happening!!!! I did delete some stuff but like. not enough lmfao. I have too many great threads #that I can't bear to let go of and i've kinda accepted that at this point #sorry I'm so slow y'all pls know that me taking forever to get to shit has nothing to do with how much I'm enjoying our threads #the fact that I'm clinging to them despite wanting to start completely fresh & dump everything says a lot more about how much I love em all #anyway. may or may not write tonight? I'm going with the flow tonight & rn the flow is telling me to keep reading #I finished my reread of the second book in the millennium series last night (& stayed up way too late in order to do so ahdgksg)#& I've started my reread of the third today and I just. I can't stop. it's too good.#if I find the willpower to put it down at some point I might dabble in poking at smth but. if not perhaps tomorrow uvu #(also want to note I've been marking the books through my reread with pink page flags #whenever smth really smacks me in the face with how much byan was inspired in some way by lisbeth lmfao)#ANYWAY. love u guys!!! I'm lurking & hoping you're all doing well!!! 💜💜#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.

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uncanny-tranny · 2 years ago

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Hey I think I'm a dude and I really need someone who has gone through this to talk to

First off, I want to say that I hope you're well. It's a great thing to be a dude, and I know this time can be really stressful and overwhelming, but I promise it will turn out well for you, if not now, then eventually.

I'm open to questions or anything like that. Just know that I can only offer my own personal experiences and perhaps the experiences of others that I know of, and if that helps, I'm glad! Just know that I'm not the blueprint, and I can't tell you for sure what you "ought" to identify as. But, I'm always glad to try to help out <3

#ask #trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #nonbinary #like it felt horrifying as a small child to realize that i'm not what others made me out to be...#...and i hope that isn't something you have to go through...#...it isn't horrifying to be a dude but that initial 'oh fuck' moment can really be alarming for some #just know that if you are feeling that way that it won't last forever. there can come a time where you can breathe and feel at peace

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zhongrin · 2 years ago

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WAIT HELP 😭

YOUR FICS GET ME WEAK IN MY FUCKING KNEES NO LIKE YOU DONT UNDERSTAND BRO. YOUR ACC IS THE ONLY REASON WHY IM NOT KILLING MYSELF DURING FINALS

i.... please don't hinge on my blog for such an important and precious existence that is your life 😭

[ edit: op has clarified it was a /j, we're all good ]

#rin answers #rin is having tea with: ma7ion #i'm really hoping that's a /j #i know finals are stressful but it won't last forever #so don't do anything rash now #remember to take regular breaks and be kind to yourself #i'm a little sensitive with these kind of jokes atm #bc if real life circumstances #so sorry if i misread your intentions with the message

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palesoftangel · 2 years ago

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i think what made it easier the first time is that i wrote him messages knowing well that he would read them at some point. but now even if i wrote messages it will only cause pain cuz i know that he isn't coming back. i just have to grieve him like he's dead

#but i won't stay in the block list forever right? 😏#I'm so sad #i don't know how to get out of it #he isn't coming back i have yo let go of that hope #i remember him saying he doesn't want me #our last conversation #it was cruel he was really cruel #i guess this is it

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sillyfreakx5 · 3 months ago

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he didn't respond for over 5 hours and it's the middle of the day in his timezone aaaaa did i do something wrong??? (he usually replies quite quickly and i already sent several texts)

#silly's ventposting #like aaaa i said i won't be able to talk much today bc I was going over to a friend's house for a couple hours #and i wasn't able to call this morning #and i wasn't able to call last night because i overslept my alarms #and also he was like “you better not be cheating”#which like ??? T^T #idk he's probably just the type of person who voices his paranoid thoughts more often than i do #but also he said that he'll miss me #and like i said that I'll still be able to text him a bit just not a lot #and he said that he hoped I'll text him like a decent bit (idk how to explain + too lazy to check exact wording)#AND THEN HE PROCEEDS TO NOT ANSWER FOREVER???#he usually says if he's gonna busy or driving s lot or something #and his work outs don't take THIS long #aaaaaaa I'm definitely just being dramatic but likeeeee >_>"#but also i don't think i should be offended abt him thinking i cheated because i did actually cheat once #I'm not proud of that #pls don't cheat on your monogamous partner guys it's an awful idea #(i know you can't use hypersexuality as an excuse but FUCK i hate being hypersexual)#like immediately the next day i texted the guy and was like “sorry for leading you on but I can't continue this”#but yeahh wooo I'm a shit person✨✨✨#anyhow i hope my boyfriend never finds out bc he's been cheated on before and yeahhh #but yeah know I'm scared that he's mad at me for some other random reason???#and I can't concentrate on anything else and tumblr isn't giving me the attention i crave and-#anyhow this is enough i think XD

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photomatt · 9 months ago

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You gonna do anything or make any statement about the rampant transmisogyny on this hellsite, especially in cases like predstrogen recently? Or yall gonna stay silent and keep letting/making us get pushed off of it.

I have a number of asks about this, so this is to address all of them, I won't do each individually.

We generally do not comment on individual cases, but because there seems to be mass misinformation around this, I will make an exception and comment on predstrogen.

First, Tumblr has a number of LGBT+ including trans people on staff, and they see things from the inside fully, and they're not protesting this case.

Why do we wrongly have a transphobe reputation? We did have an external contract moderator last year that was making transphobic moderation (and also selling moderation, criminally). As soon as we were aware that person was fired, and we later terminated the entire relationship with that contracting firm and have brought almost everything in-house (at great cost). I have previously commented on this publicly, several times.

I am not aware of any Automattician (people who work at Automattic and Tumblr) who has made any transphobic moderation actions. If it's reported it is investigated immediately, if anything were found that person would be terminated for cause immediately.

Predstrogen's account was suspended for:

Repeated mis-tagging of adult content against Tumblr's community guidelines. This has nothing to do with clothed transition photos, she had 20+ other blogs and multiple accounts with names so explicit I can't post them here without a mature tag.

Multiple cases of harassment of other Tumblr users, not just me.

Multiple threats of violence, not just the one I share below.

These represent a breach of our Terms of Service, and we've exercised our right to refuse service.

Threats of violence are never okay. Threats of violence are not protected speech. We will work with police and FBI where appropriate, though to be clear prestrogen's case hasn't warranted that so far. I'm referring to what we may potentially do for other threats. I just got a death threat yesterday from someone mad about predstrogen, and that account was immediately terminated.

So regardless of whether you still think Tumblr staff is somehow a bunch of transphobes, know that threats of violence or death are still not acceptable and will result in immediate and serious action. Know that when you rile people up, they can do dumb things with possibly permanent consequences.

(2 hours later update: I have changed instances of the pronoun "they" or "their" to "the account" because I am unaware of pronoun preference in this instance and don't want to misgender anyone. Thank you for the people who reported this as an issue. Update 2: "She" is apparently better, the post now says that. Sorry for the mistake.)

Here's one (of many!) examples of the harassment violations, this one targets me but there are others targeting other users on the site.

The second part seems to indicate she wanted to be suspended, I'm unaware of why, perhaps to create this sort of uproar. I agree the hammers feel silly, but the start, "i hope photomatt dies forever a painful death" is a violation of Tumblr's community guidelines and terms of service.

The car part did hit close to home as I have almost died twice in car accidents.

Update 2: Added this text to the adult content part: This has nothing to do with clothed transition photos, she had 20+ other blogs and multiple accounts with names so explicit I can't post them here without a mature tag.

#transgender #tumblr #ama #automattic #predstrogen

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artemismatchalatte · 6 months ago

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Bipolar Impulsivity is starting to Ruin my Life...

Is it August yet??? I just want this class to be over and done with. Give me my degree and get out of my face!!!

I'm so tired and irritated by how everything I do feels like nothing or the wrong thing (This class is so fucking overwhelming). I've been a bit impulsive lately and I'm still kicking myself out of the stupid things I did lately.

I can understand now why one of my friends from when I was younger wants nothing to do with me now. I was trying to talk to her last week but she left me on read for a whole week. I was going to try to invite her to a concert with me but if she doesn't even want to talk to me then I'm obviously NOT going with her. (She's an IRL friend who I grew up with). So now I'm stuck with these tickets I bought and scraped the hell out of my savings for. Not her fault, of course, my dumb ass should NOT have bought the tickets b/c I can't really afford them. 200 dollars is SO MUCH Fucking money. Especially because I make almost nothing. I'm going to have to either return or resell the tickets. >:(

One of my online friends goes to concerts a lot and I thought it would be fun to go see Avril Lavinge but I basically shouldn't have bought the tickets. He has a real job so he can afford the concerts- I can't. My shitty part time job does not pay enough for me to do things like this. I think I was just so stupid and impulsive and bought the tickets because I wanted to do something fun. My life is SO boring right now. But wow, it was so stupid to splurge on something I really cannot afford.

My impulsivity also led me to talk to a bunch of people on reddit too and I REALLY regret some of those conversations. I'm so pissed at myself. I've been taking my medicine like I'm supposed to but I'm actually being affected by bipolar symptoms any way. Fuck. Being tired of my life/bored/lonely is a very bad combination and I've been feeling it lately. I guess this is what I get instead of the more predictable spring hypomania that I used to get on my old medication???

#I'm so tired and not about it today #I just spent the last few hours printing articles #I hope it will be enough but I am not liking this class either #I am so tired of school can I please just leave already???#If there was an instant quit button no consequences I would have hit that button already #But life has consequences so I won't be impulsive and stupid about this too #I did a few dumb impulsive things recently and I'm still angry at myself for doing them #My medicine is supposed to stop impulsivity- I'm pretty sure as it is a bipolar issue #I am weighing whether or not a convo I want to have with one of my friends is a good idea or not... BUT I don't want to ruin anything #I keep talking to people on reddit because I'm bored and lonely- it's probably not a good thing #I do want legitimate friendships but this is probably a bad way to go about it #and so many of the men get weird on me so fast- wow no thank you!!! :(#Why is everyone so boring/can't hold a conversation to save their lives??? :/#I don't know what I'm even doing any more #I'm just so not happy with where my life is going #I really don't want to be poor forever and I'm afraid my disability is going to permanently ruin my chance at a good life #I make peanuts at my current job and it's embarassing how easy it is to burn through my pathetic little pay checks #and now I'm about 35k in debt now from this STUPID MA that I don't even know what to do with!!!#Don't say teach I have NO interest in being a part of the education system at all #This IS a RANT post!!!#I'm probably in a bad mood because I'm so tired UGH #My mood was bound to crash eventually #mychatter #bipolar #actually bipolar

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bacchanalianhamlet · 1 year ago

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2 months seizure free ✌🏻

#i love how it's bare minimum but I'm celebrating it like a big accomplishment #i mean mere survival is an accomplishment to me #i hope it lasts forever but i know it won't and I know I'm at risk of having a seizure at any point in my life #and at risk of dying in a seizure #knowing the chance is small doesn't make it better #and i hate when people compare my risk of dying in an epileptic seizure to the risk of dying in a car accident #because having epilepsy is abnormal and it's absolutely not like walking out on the streets and getting in an accident #no one knows how it feels and no one understands what it means to properly take two anti-seizure pills a day for possibly the rest of my lif #I'm also considering changing my neurologist tho I've literally been going to the same doctor for 10 years

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dreamiie4her · 2 months ago

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How i mastered the art of persisting & how yall can too

hello my luvs, lemme tell u, its been a rlly eventful last 2 weeks in terms of me undergo a drastic shift in my mindset and WHEWWWWW, i thought it was time to share with yall

storytime

this past year i told myself i would adopt a strict mental diet where i wouldn't let doubts stop me or anything and lemme tell you, it was such a rocky road. There would be periods of me affirming that i was a master shifter, seek validation from the 3D and then start dwelling in my old state again. This cycle of giving up continued until i came across these posts. I then deeped how i've been overcomplicating manifesting & shifting to the point where i would give up so easily on my new states because "persisting was too hard” when it rlly wasn't. Anyways, lemme share my favourite tips & advice i learnt.

THE ADVICE & TIPS

stop associating emotions w/ states

Once i stopped associating me doubting, being frustrated, etc with my state, i found stuff x10000 EASIER!! I be affirming when i'm sad/frustrated because my emotions do NAWT define me. If something happens in my life, i allow myself to acknowledge it then i affirm on loop that "everything gets better" and the very fact i am a master manifestor.

manifesting will exist whether u like it or not

whenever i feel like "giving up", i remember that no matter if i "give up" on my desires or not, the law of assumption will still operate in the same principle of dominant thoughts materialising ur reality. So that really made me think, why would i not take advantage of knowing about the loa and manifesting everything i want? Like once you find out about the law of assumption, there is no turning back so u might aswell utilise it.

you can never lose your "manifestation powers"

Sometimes i be having thoughts "what if i lose my manifestation powers" and its like?? i will always be able to manifest easily & so will you. You can never "lose" the ability to manifest. Its a LAW. Meaning you will always be able to do it

pick a staple affirmation & loop it no matter what

After utilising robotic affirming, i've felt so much more FULFILLED then i ever did. Trust me when i say, pick one affirmation (e.g. "i am a master shifter") and keep affirming through your doubts, random thoughts, etc. Litreally when you deep it, affirming is basically thinking and thinking is super duper easy. So picking one affirmation and continuously repeating it is so easy even when you feel like your having sm doubts (trust me, once u get in the habit of js affirming, things feel sm easier).

you don't need to believe to manifest

Before some of yall come at me, lemme tell yall something. When i got more serious about the loa this year, i overconsumed a sh!t ton of loa content stating in order to manifest your desires and it made me feel so frustrated whenever i felt doubts/overwhelmed when affirming for my desire. The belief bit will follow natrually while persisting, dont focus on beliving in ur manifestation, keep repeating you have it & your belief of it will feel more natrual as you keep repeating it (if that makes sense)

the 3D isn't the end, keep persisting

I made a post about this but to keep it short & simple, your 3D circumstances aren't permanent. Just because you may be experiencing the opposite of what you want in the 3D, doesn't mean it will stay like that forever and your manifestation "won't work". Keep affirming bb <3

okie that's it for the post <3 i'll probs make a pt2 if i got anymore advice?? but hope yall liked it ;3

#loassblog #loassumption #shifting blog #shifting community #desired reality #reality shifting #shifters #shifting antis dni #law of assumption #dolliecoded

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xitsensunmoon · 6 months ago

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My first ever comic con! And first cosplay too. Of course it's gonna be my boy :] Ramblings about the process are under the cut(Let me know if?? You would want me to elaborate with process images for any of the steps?)

The costume took me forever to make, as I've never done any machine sewing, sculpting, fabric dying or spray painting before but learning all of these was so fucking fun!! I never realised just how many different skills go into making a cosplay but it was so worth it!!!

Almost all of the clothes(except the hat) were purchased first as bases, but all of the detailing was added by me. All of the fabric used was originally just scraps that I was given for free so I needed to learn how to dye and dye all of the stars, they were originally white.

The sewing machine was its own beast that brought me tons of frustration from the lack of skill and knowledge (it was devastating to find out that 95% of fuck ups were my fault and not the machine's lmao). But as a result, a hat sewn from scratch, all of the fur trims, embroidery on the corset, stars and the collar(which is very hard to see on the pictures unfortunately) was all added manually. The stars and the stripes(on the back of the cape) were attached using heat-and-bond adhesive (I WISH I knew about such thing just when I started working on this. It would save me so much time and nerves.)

Then I found out about polymorph(mouldable plastic) and it has become the next thing I wanted to learn, to sculpt the claws and the fangs(yes, they're handmade jfksjs). The claws I then primed and painted in trillion coats because I wasn't satisfied with the colour of the spray paint. The fangs I moulded to my own teeth and then stained with tea to match the colour of my teeth :)c

As for makeup, I used Mehron Paradise water activated paints. At first I wanted to try to save money and bought myself Snazaroo instead, which unfortunately turned out to be a waste. Snazaroo didn't hold on my face for longer than 2 hours, cracking and peeling awfully. Mehron on the other hand survived 11 hours of me smiling, talking, emoting and such and didn't even crease at the smile lines(I'm actually shocked about that). It obviously works like any other makeup which means your skin texture and wrinkles won't go anywhere but Mehron's elasticity pleasantly surprised me. It did obviously smear from sweat and saliva(if you're eating and licking your lips) but if you don't touch the skin it just dries again, self setting. But if it's dry it's fully smear-proof. Highly recommend!

And last but not least, I've decided against painting my hands as it was very risky that I will stain everything I touch at the smallest hint of sweat. So instead I got myself gloves-tights(? Not sure how they're called but it's made from the same fabric as tights) and painted them with normal acrylic paint(did you know you could dye fabric with acrylic paint? I personally didn't), then heat set with an iron and voilà, they're reusable, my hands are not stained after an exhausting day and I don't stain everything I touch. It worked wonderfully which honestly was a surprise as I was really sceptical that acrylic paint will somehow stay in place.

I think this whole thing took me minimum of 6 months with big-big breaks for my school and life in general. But I'm really proud! This project taught me so many new skills and I couldn't have been happier about learning new knowledge, even if it sucked to fail in the meantime.

Everyone at the con was really nice and gave me a large confidence boost even tho it was my first time and I had no idea what I was doing. Taking photos with other people was really awkward/new for me as I hate cameras so I really had no idea how to pose/behave in front of one. But that's okay I think. This whole experience definitely made me want to do this again, so I think that will come with experience. Thank you for reading this far, hope you enjoyed this little summary :)

#my art #cosplay #biting the hand that feeds au #moondrop #fnaf moondrop #fnaf moon #moondrop fnaf #moon fnaf #bhtf moondrop #i had such a good time #little awkward moments of me being autistic and not reading social cues and/or having trouble processing didn't go anywhere #but that's okay #i don't think i was ever complimented as much as i was complimented at the con so that's a W #artist alley was definitely an experience of me just finding out how actually autistic i am #because i really Am Not Interested in anything aside from my special interests #literally got myself a singular Moon sticker and a singular Mothman print #that's it lmfaooo #i also had people come up to me to just give me a tiny plastic newborn toy and run away #10/10 hilarious #bhtf au #i MIGHT just draw Moon in some of those poses because 👀#also maybe will make a separate post just showing off all of the details that are not as noticeable on camera? maybe? if yall would want #the cape and the hat ARE SO FUCKING FLUFFY #thank you silvermizuki for the fur🫵

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astonmartinii · 10 months ago

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undercover verstappen | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem verstappen!reader

get you a girlfriend who will threaten mutiny to get you a seat at a competent team

based on this request: HI BABES I HOPE YOU ARE WELL! I LOVE YOUR WRITING SM! So basically I have an idea for a (possible?) Smau series, so basically it's Charles leclerc × verstappen!reader, she is a reserve driver for redbull but is also maxs race engineer (idk if you call it that? The person that talks to them that one) so she's very involved with the team and f1 in general. The public doesn't know that her and Charles are dating, and they don't even think it as Charles and max "hate" eachother (they are both doing this to protect readers and Charles relationship, they are actually besties) and basically, reader has enough if ferraris tractor, so she's like 'I will get you too redbull' and then checo retires at the end of the 2023 season, and instead of taking the job when she was offered it, she asks if Charles could have it (obviously not publicised) and Christian is like "Yes very good idea" so he asks Charles who is uncertain at first but is then OK with the idea (he is worried about becoming a second driver to max but there is lots of reassuring that he won't be nd so he accepts) and then he goes on to win 2024 wdc (and wcc but irrelevant) and he's sad that he couldn't do it with ferrari omg that's long sorry babes - @lillians-world-is-f1

MASTERLIST | TIPS | F1 SMALL BUSINESS

redbullracing

liked by maxverstappen, yourusername and 1,390,887 others

tagged: schecoperez

redbullracing: checo has informed the team that he will be retiring from the sport at the end of the 2023 season. we thank checo for his service and all the good times, he will forever be a legend of this sport. VAMOS CHECO 👏

view all comments

user1: EXCUSE ME?

user2: they really thought they could drop this on a monday and we'd all be chill

maxverstappen1: i've heard tequila tastes even better when you're retired, congrats mate - we'll miss you

user3: wait does this mean it'll be double verstappen on the grid now?

user4: there's more than one of them?

user5: max's sister is the girl you'll hear on his radio and she's technically the reserve driver as well. so she might step up to the second seat now checo has retired

user6: idk about you but that spells trouble to me

yourusername: congrats checo! will miss you, carola and all the little ones x

schecoperez: you won't be able to get rid of them that easily, i'll be cashing in on some well earned babysitting hours

yourusername: can't wait !!!

user7: what i'm hearing is that there's a chance for a daniel return to red bull?

user8: double verstappen or maxiel i don't want to choose they're both my children

user9: i'm making an outside shout for a charles leclerc red bull era

user10: i am seeing the lestappen vision

user11: my personal headcanon is that both verstappens and charles are all besties and have always been besties

christianhorner: thank you for your service checo, first drink on me 👍

user12: i know christian is sweating having to make a choice between child no 2 y/n and child no 3 daniel

user13: idk i think daniel might have the edge

user14: if geri or max have anything to do with it we might have a team so dutch that the car will be orange next season

user15: christian punching the walls cause lando extended his mclaren contract literally last week 😭

EXCERPT OF RECORDING OF THE RED BULL GARAGE, ABU DHABI

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 892,309 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: verstappens take the city

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user18: i just know they are simultaneously the best people to party with but also the people you probably don’t want at a house party

yourusername: i’ll have you know i once plunged a toilet at a house party and disposed of a “sick sandwich” i am a DELIGHT

user19: and max?

yourusername: no comment

maxverstappen1: as if ! i don’t care if we’re blood im suing you for slander

yourusername: i watched you volley a vase at AD21

maxverstappen1: i paid for it !!! and you said it was a sick shot anyway FAKE

yourusername: you can say that cause personally i was not at fault of any of my actions that night x

user20: PLEASE MA'AM AT LEAST ONE SEASON OF DOUBLE TROUBLE PLEASE

user21: idk if i could deal with seeing jos verstappen every weekend tho...

user22: obsessed with how neither verstappen follow charles but here he be in her notifications again

user23: someone add it to the interaction spreadsheet i am CONVINCED it will one day lead to more

landonorris: lando norris erasure once again

user24: DID YOU WRITE THAT NOTE???

landonorris: hell no i'd rather peel my skin off than call the three raccoons disguised as a woman pretty

yourusername: good gosh we would've got the point without all of that

maxverstappen1: yeah lando only i'm allowed to call y/n the raccoons in a trench coat. know your place.

user25: so you do wanna tell us who wrote the note then?

yourusername: nope ;p

user26: only y/n and max have been spotted out so maybe it's just brotherly love

user27: LOL? MAX? BROTHERLY LOVE?

danielricciardo: invite seemed to get lost in the mail again

yourusername: either get a room or get out of my comment section

maxverstappen1: ???

user28: no maxiel red bull again. i don't think y/n's blood pressure can take it

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 2,544,924 others

tagged: charles_leclerc & maxverstappen1

f1: ready to see them as teammates? charles leclerc has signed a deal with red bull to keep him at the team until 2028.

view all commments

user29: excuse me *clears throat* WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

redbullracing: welcome charles!!! no inchidents please

charles_leclerc: will we ever hear the end of that joke?

redbullracing: we know what the girlies want charles

maxverstappen1: you get used to it after a while. no ice bath thirst traps here though

charles_leclerc: phew 😥

user30: this little hoe pretending he didn't love it

user31: wait ??? does this mean what i think it could mean? GIRLFRIEND?

user32: i can't take leaving ferrari and a girlfriend in one day sorry

yourusername: welcome to the team charles :)

user33: don't think we forgot about the recording babe... IS THIS WHO YOU RECOMMENED?

danielricciardo: it better not be because if you recommended your lil boyfriend over sexy ol' me i'm gonna be real mad 😭

this comment was deleted

user34: WE SAW THAT WHAT THE FUCK

maxverstappen1: daniel you are so fucking dumb

yourusername: MAX? IGNORE IT?

maxverstappen1: bro it's all over twitter you might as well take the moment to curse out daniel before christian confiscates our phones

yourusername: DANIEL JOSEPH RICCIARDO YOU RAT BASTARD I'M GONNA RIP WHATEVER REMAINING HAIR YOU HAVE LEFT AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR SURPRISINGLY PERKY ASS. IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT YOU AND YOUR CHILD BEARING HIPS WILL NEVER GET CLOSE TO A RED BULL EVER AGAIN FOR EXPOSING A SECRET US THREE HAVE KEPT FOR SEVEN FUCKING YEARS

charles_leclerc: what she said

maxverstappen1: oop.

user35: well. can we keep going this is quite fun.

christianhorner: they're all in time out sorry

user36: okay well now that happened... when can we get "who knows me better my boyfriend or my brother" lestappen version 🤨

charles_leclerc: i would wipe the floor with him

maxverstappen1: of course you would you BIG FAT NERD

charles_leclerc: i thought christian took your phone?

maxverstappen1: as if he doesn't fall for the verstappen puppy dog eyes every time

charles_leclerc: you'll use them for me right babe, RIGHT BABE?

yourusername: idk charlie, this is family business

christianhorner: i've taken their phones again

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 1,304,555 others

tagged: charles_leclerc & maxverstappen1

yourusername: my favourite men in the world doing what they do best

view all comments

user37: take me out back and shoot me already

christianhorner: interesting i don't see myself here and considering i pay your wages...

yourusername: dads go in different categories?

christianhorner: don't use my paternal instincts against me y/n

yourusername: say goodbye to your father's day card

christianhorner: NO I'M SORRY

user38: the way this proves that second red bull really was y/n's ...

user39: for real imagine loving a MAN so much you give it to HIM 🤮

user40: she also said in that recording at jos made it so bad for the two of them when they did compete that she no longer wanted to give the fans and the media the chance to do it either

charles_leclerc: oh wow that's crazy, you're my favourite woman ever

yourusername: don't be so rude to mama pascale

charles_leclerc: well other than mama obvioysly

yourusername: so i'm not your favourite, i see how it is

charles_leclerc: I AM SO CONFUSED SO I'M JUST GONNA SAY I LOVE YOU

yourusername: awww charlie i love you too

user41: okay i've known about them approximately two weeks and i love them your honour

maxverstappen1: i'm so much better than him y/n be real

yourusername: don't be such a sore loser maxy

maxverstappen1: don't get it twisted, i still won on track

charles_leclerc: not for long

yourusername: okay girlies leave the trash talk for the weekends this is being normal for the sake of y/n's mental health time

user42: good lord this trio is so dear to me

maxverstappen1

liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 1,043,788 others

tagged: yourusername & charles_leclerc

maxverstappen1: best thing about winning is choosing the restaurant after - closely followed about the worst thing: third wheeling them.

view all comments

user43: max coming through with the y/n and charles content as he should

user44: i need him to open the vault cause i have not forgotten that y/n said this relationship is seven years old

yourusername: i think i had a wet dream about this sushi spread last night

maxverstappen1: as long as that's it, good.

yourusername: i don't need to have wet dreams anymore, the real thing is so much better

maxverstappen1: BLOCKED.

user45: i know y/n is elated to be able to publicly terrorise max with her relationship

user46: so does this mean that this is a system they've had for a while?

yourusername: room service is our middle names

charles_leclerc: maximilian can you please send the last pic to the shared album

maxverstappen1: on it ��

user47: SHARED ALBUM? I MIGHT DIE

yourusername: you two are such cutie patooties

maxverstappen1: but for real no being so cute on my jet again or just wait for me to go for my nap

charles_leclerc: heard and understood

yourusername: or maybe just get a life and stop being so lonely

danielricciardo: can i join for sushi or am i still banned?

maxverstappen1: eh, you could take y/n in a scrap

danielricciardo: she read my ass for filth on main i'm scared of her

charles_leclerc: she had you gagged

danielricciardo: and this litlle guard puppy agrees with whatever she says :(

yourusername: as he should !

maxverstappen1: don't try and fight it daniel, i've been in this losing battle for seven years

charles_leclerc

liked by georgerussell63, yourusername and 1,834,903 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: life in blue could never be blue with you. i love you baby, thank you for giving me this opportunity, every trophy is for you x

view all comments

user48: GOD PLEASE SAVE ME PLEASE GOD SAVE ME FROM THIS SINGLE LIFE.

yourusername: i love you too charlie, i'd do everything and more for you. i'm happy you're happy x

charles_leclerc: you can't get rid of me at this point

yourusername: seven years strong, i'm stuck to you like glue

charles_leclerc: you'll have my last name (or i can take yours) next

maxverstappen1: you can give her a ring but you'll NEVER TAKE THE VERSTAPPEN NAME AWAY

yourusername: you good?

maxverstappen1: yeah but we must always be double trouble. not even THAT man will come between that

user49: this is the trio of my dreams i need a whole drive to survive ep or even spin off just following these losers around

danielricciardo: see how could you be angry that i would want to talk about all this cuteness ?

yourusername: we are cute, correct.

charles_leclerc: i'd use the words incredibly sexy but okay

danielricciardo: are you guys still angry? I'M TRYING TO COMPLIMENT YOU

yourusername: we forgive you daniel.

charles_leclerc: i was also kissing her on my first podium REGARDLESS

yourusername: you're so romantic 🥰

maxverstappen1: GAG.

user50: convinced that max will still be the biggest big brother asshole until he is in the retirement home

alexalbon: flexing the alex albon and lily mun he photography i see

yourusername: thank you for your service

lilymunhe: we can also keep a secret 🤫

danielricciardo: I SAID I WAS SORRY

charles_leclerc: we're gonna hold it over you forever buddy

danielricciardo: was taking the red bull seat not enough?

charles_leclerc: until i win a championship? yes.

fin.

note: I'M BACK!! hope this was what you were looking for xx also, if you guys ever want to support me in any way i have a tip jar on kofi and also my small business @badlydrawnf1cats that has a sticker sheet available right now - love you all xx

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 x you #f1 #f1 social media au #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc social media au

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