#i hope i dont sound like im discouraging anything :(

[ahllohehn]

YOOOUR WELCOME!!!!

Also I'm curious, are there gonna be any ships in this au??

I was planning to keep the shipping stuff seperate for people who would like to enjoy the AU as is.

I like to leave some sort of space for everyone to come up with the Hermits' relations themselves. Shipping or not.

....Having said that, if you're really curious, a lot of my stuff is Mumscarian implied.

Anyway, I don't want to force anything on anyone just because it's my AU !!!

You guys are free to interpret my drawings however you like to enjoy it.

[caffeinatedopossum]

I hate that I'm literally chronically online but I don't really have a choice. I'm chronically ill, disabled, have very severe anxiety and agoraphobia. I can't just go touch grass and fix everything. I'm just trying my best to stay sane because that's really all I can do

[gerwilapirligohercia]

Dear usamericans and everyone else who will likely suffer from trumps victory,

Im rooting for you all. Im sending you all my love and support and courage from the netherlands and i dont know much about american politics but i know this is not good.

Ive been reading hundreds of posts of scared, discouraged, dissapointed people, people that dont know what they should do now, how they should survive. It is terrible. It should not be real. It should make everyone throw up.

Im here with you, im crying with you, my thoughts and prayers and hopes are with you, and please, im begging you, keep existing, you are a star, a shining and real thing in a dark and false world, you are so strong and do not believe anything else. Do not give in to people that wish you away. Your existence is your victory and their defeat. Just know there are millions of people that are with you, even though you may not see them. Our power is our solidarity, our willingness to make the world a kind and beautiful place for everyone.

I dont know what else to say and it sounds all stupid, but know that i mean this.

🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂✨️✨️❤️❤️🧡💛💚💙💜💪💪🎇🎇

[tadpolesonalgae]

ive seeing these anons giving advice and im glad we're all wondering why you aren't more well known. ive been reading acotar but it took me a while to find your blog and i really was surprised i hadn't found it sooner because you're a great writer and you also write a lot, so you should be on searches and stuff a lot. i thought it was because you wrote a lot of dark fics at first and that's not for everyone but you also write a lot of others so im not sure how you don't get way more notes on your fics. i think what the other anon said about interacting with other writers and im not familiar with the examples they gave tbh but yeah there's a few blogs that interact with each other a lot so you know they're friends (azsazz and acourtofthristandmen and more) but if you don't know them or you're not really good at/ want to you don't have to try to interact with them, i think you should bet on interacting with your audience more because that's what keeps people coming back. dont be afraid to post stuff on here either, this is your blog so you can post, especially asks because we do love seeing our asks answered and if people don't see their asks answered they might not keep sending them bc they're basically being ignored.

I mean, is there some setting I might need to switch on or off? It took me months to figure out how to link posts and even longer to discover the whole ‘read more’ thing so I wonder if there’s just a really obvious button that’s labelled “share work” or something and i’ve just entirely missed it 😭

‘so im not sure how you don't get way more notes on your fics.’

Thank you so much??? That’s such??? A lovely thing to say???

Honestly I’m very happy with how things are at the moment, like having people write in if they enjoy a fic, offering ideas, giving advice—I’d much rather keep things as they are than maybe having more notes on a fic but less people knowing this blog well enough to want to send in requests or talk?

I hope that doesn’t sound ungrateful or anything, it’s just that I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining I might not be getting enough because I genuinely I love how things are at the moment 🧡💛

‘ i think you should bet on interacting with your audience more because that's what keeps people coming back.’

Okay okay!! So!! I don’t know if this is a common thing other blogs do, but there are people I see interacting and I was thinking it would be fun to include you too? I know some people might find that stressful though and I don’t want to scare anyone off, but I thought it might be fun to tag some of you guys in those tag games? Solely because before I started writing, people who wrote fanfics seemed so far off in the distance and that is genuinely not the case, so I thought it might help people feel more comfortable in this space?

That is just an idea though, and I don’t even do tag games that often, so it wouldn’t be a regular occurrence or anything! :)

‘especially asks because we do love seeing our asks answered and if people don't see their asks answered they might not keep sending them bc they're basically being ignored.’

I’d like to clarify it’s not only not spamming things that makes me nervous to respond, but also because I don’t always know how much free time I’ll have in a day, so I often only have mornings to get to talk to people? I really hope no one feels ignored—generally if I haven’t answered something it’ll be because I simply didn’t get to find the time that day to get around to it? But I completely get that it can be discouraging to manage to send an ask in then it doesn’t get answered :/

[yunogf]

bestie this is a very random message but i truly don’t know where u find the inspiration and encouragement to make such beautiful graphics given the state of ncityblr, i feel too discouraged to even open ps 😩😐 anwww hope ur having a nice week <3 and hope ur excited at jaehyun music news!! im not familiar with emotional oranges so i dont really know what to expect but i hope jaehyun will sound fine as always! 🫶🏻🩷🫂🤍💖💗💓💘

omg sophie this is so wild bc I'm literally in ps right now CJZJCJXJZ 😭😭😭 actually so spooky that u sent me this like can u see me rn how many fingers am I holding up 👀 this is so so sweet of u tho and honestly idk either I think it must be cathartic for me bc its not like im getting paid or reaching this big audience or anything chxkkc 😔🙃 I get a fleeting spark of an idea and I jump on it before it goes away 😭

also! emotional oranges are one of my favessss they don't make bad songs so I'm sooo excited that jaehyun worked on something with them 🤩🤩 jaehyun giving me reasons to keep going fr 😩🙏🩷

I hope ur feeling better and I hope this week has been kind to uuu 🥰🫶🩷

[astrayinasuit]

People love to act stupid on purpose, you were speaking facts.

Let me just get this out of the way

'Nothing actually has association to these objects, nothing has meaning, something cant be good or bad' Corny ass arguement, it holds no arguement since this defends everything but also lacks knowledge of concepts and the harms in the world today. Attractions can be bad like ones that involve kids thats why therapy is there and besides that this is just another way of just not giving a fuck about anything.

You make your own morality but these people clearly havent made one because nothing is bad or good to them it sounds very nihilistic to a point theyd let people murder eachother if so

Its things that should be discouraged

Also kinks cannot be queer idk why dumbass people keep saying that😭 Its like saying attraction can be queer. (I dont mean like two gays dating i mean straight people, man and woman dating and saying their attraction is lesbian). Kinks but specifically ones that INVOLVE graphic things and concepts behind them can be critiqued and seen as bad. Think.

In a society like this pedophillia, rape, incest etc. are glamorized, sexualized and romanticized. It wouldve quite literally been seen as normal just as misogyny and racism would be seen as normal. Those things are categorized as normal and are PUSHED.

Heavy on the pedophillia

(beauty standard, media, young & innocent, etc.)

Alot of paraphillias, pedophiles etc. i think are WAY more rare than people think. Its a build up of stimuli, 'entertainment', changing perspectives, porn and harmful concepts (that get turned into porn categories). That usually make people think oh im this im that but its quite rare. Its just what you were forced into within this society.

Its only common because thats what our society has done. People do not know how to dissociate trauma, things that are graphic topics to sex. I had to dissociate my own trauma from my sexual life honestly and it has been way better ever since.

They don't really care for the victims since it is only an attraction to them but therapy should be encouraged for victims who went through things and gained this. It is just turning the trauma into a porn category and associating it with stimuli. It doesn't make you better, you are what makes you better. Your body and you will get use to it and you'll have to learn how to undo it.

(This is for victims but ik a maj of people who have those attractions arent victims)

There are better kinks, you didn't automatically go into that. Like roleplay a prostitute and a police officer, complete sadism/masochism full on etc. There's so much and yet you choose the things that harm people.

Youre taking concepts that the victims couldnt even grasp and are taking it away to say hey lets make it into a porn category and distance it from how graphic it is.

These people have never came into contact with a child rape victim istg

This is coming from someone with cptsd and who has been raped by my family members and so much more since i was a baby (aunts since a baby, cousins, school members, teachers. alot okay). And have nieces, nephews and friends who are victims of rape. Even my aunt rapist was raped. I try to be the most understanding. I just hope these people get better or just open their mind more

Fiction / fantasy is broad -

Propaganda, stereotypes, csem and so much more falls under that yet we can see how it obviously effects humanity.

The mind - fiction - Stimuli - Physical world all have connections

Its a branch of harm

It might not be direct or seem so but it still is a concept and has its connections, its a branch of that harm and this product society has made. If society wasnt like this i bet half of these people wouldnt be acting up like this or if they had minds.

It normalizes it but also look into what fits with the mindset aswell

No association exists within these peoples heads. The sexualization of childrens clothes, language, ages and etc. Are fine. Porn is fine because it could be 'bdsm'. (I LIKE bdsm but not this. This is something else in my opinion.). Fiction is okay (Hentai. Fantasy and fiction go hand in hand by the way you have to defend both to defend one). Belle delphine

Like with cultures you get foods, clothing, language, music etc. That are associated with it obviously and this applies to different groups in the world. Including...Children.

I am not talking of age regression

I age regress myself i am talking of the sexualization of children (Yes, children. Everything is associated with children. Their ages, their clothing, their language, mannerisms, etc. You cant pull the 'well no children is ACTUALLY here so it doesnt matter!' And ignore that everything is associated with children. Its like a white person asian baiting tape and all then saying well! I am white so it doesn't count. Even though they say their culture is asian. (Prerending to be the childs age).)

The sexualization of minors clothes has been normalized for years and this will make it continue. Highschool girls cannot feel comfortable wearing their uniforms because it will be sexualized, children cannot wear two ponytails without feeling a bit anxious, children cannot even wear their clothes without having it sexualized.

This gives a whole other

Well... look what she was wearing despite it obviously being associated with children it gives a defendence, and so much more. But what makes this whole thing sad is that it involves people who cannot defend themselves

Also note how all of these people always turn younger and not older? How many old men do you think would use those terms if they were more popular? In a society like this.

You are quite literally the PRODUCT OF WHAT SOCIETY HAS MADE😭 and they think they are minorities when it is what the elders say too. How many old people do you think would be using that if those terms were more popular. Please undo all of that. But anyways you will have to literally deny a very big thing which is stupid but yh i already wrote about this but had to rant

- added

They use the same tactics and arguements my abusers and others abusers have used. Thats what really irks me, i was groomed into this. Seeing the same words my abusers uttered to convince me by these same people is so crazy its enough to dissociate. The way its like 'i use to think like you', 'normal people dont mind pedophillia, incest and rape etc!' and so much. It kind of breaks a part of me. Down playing it because it is a majority.

In a society like this of course no one cares of harm or minorities or the safety of victims but it hurts that in the same breath they act as if they are victims and are not the majority as if a majority of far right winged, bigoted old people, and so many more. Are with the exact same mindset. To see people say they dont give a fuck about victims of incest, pedophillia, rape etc. And nobody cares. Is so numbing, this is literally another way to dehumanize myself i try to stay away from things like that because they are just as stuck in that mindset like far right wings there is no point.

Imagine using the harm done and saying nobody gives a fuck about you.

Its such a level of what the fuck and saying that to the people, to many victims.

Its the same as 'nobody gives a fuck about racism, xenophobia etc irl! Normal people dont care about that'

To act as if people are insane for caring and thinking of concepts to reduce the harm that YOU and SOCIETY push and then act as if they are crazy. And you are the victim is insane.

It actually breaks my heart

thats why i am going to start writing information of others topics more often

Also know that people who are sane (dont hold any hatred for minorities and actually care for concerning topics) there are people like this. In this society where people implement this mindset yes it isnt common but there are still many people who agree. You arent alone <33

My mother who is in her mid 40s to my sister who is in her teens sees this as harm, there are many people in different générations who do care, acknowledge and see this as harm.

There are many normal people and they do see these topics as harm.

Lovely day to anyone reading this

"""incest pedophilia and rape kinks are subversive and inherently part of the queer/trans experience!!!"""

All of these radqweer "kinks" are extremely mainstream and are in fact practiced widely by the world's dominant oppressors. Cishet white men do this shit all the time. These evils are inherent to the system. They uphold the system. They are the bedrock that the whole corrupt system is built on. The system relies on these evils to function.

They are disgustingly banal.

It is not subversive nor radical to have these kinks. Your fucked up brain is the exact result of our society doing what it does best, perpetuating violence.

Will you fight against it? Or will you perish like a dog?

[beaopalmoon]

ok. im about to see my psych again. i haven't had an appointment since October and haven't had my meds since November.

i used to be afraid of getting help for my mental health because i felt like it was just going to be a matter of time before i wouldnt be able to get it again.

maybe thats still true. im definitely absolutely miserable when unmedicated but im not a danger to myself. what i have recognized though is that any length of time i can get where i feel moderately well enough to function is worth the trouble.

off my concerta i can't take care of myself at all. i cant think clearly and when i try to, my thoughts just loop around problems i cant solve and don't have an answer to. i get overstimulated any time there's more than one sound happening at once. i have barely been able to sleep.

i still need to try and apply for county healthcare, its just that every time i look at the paperwork, i get horribly discouraged. ive not had any good experiences with TX federal anything, but i know that i am worth getting help. advocating for myself is hard no matter what im dealing with but i will do my best...

Edit:

burgh. so while im getting assessed before the psych appointment, the receptionist tells me she just got a message from the doc saying he cant make it in today 💀 soonest appointment that he has available is March 1st.

BUT i asked her to request he fill my prescriptions when he can, and i am able to stay and see my therapist today instead. i havent been on T either so i hope i dont cry ORZ

[idiotflowerex]

Why is it like every time I get my hopes up about literally anything, no matter how small and stupid, the universe is like “nah fuck you”

[descendantofthesparrow]

this is gonna sound-not wrong-but like “you shouldn't write for this” and ashduiashda whatever, i don't care, but-i think im getting...Discouraged to write for Harry :/ i love the chaotic fucker still, mans is my first legitimate crush and i sill want to write for him and at least finish all the stories i started for him. but...i don't get anything back for writing him, and i know i shouldn't write for validation or attention but-i don't get any comments, or like-anything anymore for him; im also basically-his only writer on here-and every once in a while ill get a comment, or a rare reblog, but its just...discouraging to get no response to something i wrote and fell in love with (poyw 2.0 being my most recent thing that's gotten like-nothing) i basically put rypl on semi-perm hiatus cuz i never get anything on it, i asked forever ago if anyone would want it to continue and got alot of people asking me to continue, but when i posted the next part....there was nothing

idk, i think i might take a break from Harry, i love him, and of course ill make stupid personal stuff and finish the stuff that is currently going (cant stop this feeling) but...idk, just-getting nothing in response to my writing, and ouad getting so much attention (even if its just because its one of the few fics available) just made me realize....writing for Harry isnt as....fun anymore.

which sucks, i love this mother fucker, he’s the reason i truly dove into writing, the reason ive developed my art, hes how i made so many friends on here but...idk...i just feel like im standing here alone in my corner and no one bothers to look twice. like yeah ill get likes but...it just feels nice to get a comment or whatever my works .

i guess the closest thing i could link this too would be burn out. so i guess this is kinda my announcement that, after this little harry commission im writing. im going to be taking a break from Harry, ill prob still post something of him once in a while, but most likly, encore 2.0 will be a very slow updating fic and any oneshots, or other multiparts-will be very few and far inbetween...idk.

i guess i just feel sad that i dont really get any validation for my stupid stuff, which i know, i know isnt the point of writing/art but-it still feels nice and getting noting i guess has-pulled me away from writing for Harry.

so-this is a temporary goodbye to Harry Hook, hope to see you soon dude.

[buntress]

No actually it's against transitioning! Dissomei was created as a thing of "i feel like i should have this thing but bc i dont. it causes a dissconnect between my body and myself" while desirdae is meant as a "for whatever reason, i have an intense desire to be/do XYZ" and is specifically against transitioning when it comes to more harmful things such as desirharm/desirharmed/desirethnicity or anything like that. This has been said by the coiner of desirdae, is heavily pushed in every desirdae community, and not once have I seen transitioning being suggested by anyone so far. /info

I fully understand the worry, trust me. But as someone who does fit under things like desirharmed, but who is actively trying to heal and get better, having words to explain my experience and a community that lets me know I'm not alone while discouraging my wishes to act on these desires is immensly helpful. TransID's were awful bc they actively encourage people to transition in incredibly harmful ways, basically encouraging self harm, while desirdae is simply "I get it, you're not alone, don't do that."

tl;dr no they are NOT pro transitioning whatsoever and this has been said by the coiner themself, archivist blogs, coiners, and users alike p explicitly for the most part.

As an additional sidenote, because while im unsure you mean this its an impression im getting from many people against desirdae: I don't think I want to have to say "hey dont do something harmful" whenever I talk about stuff like this to describe my mental health? To me that just feeds into more issues like my mental health somehow making me inherently dangerous. So when I talk casually about my desirdae experience, I don't want to have to clarify "im not in danger or a danger to others" everytime. On a coining post, yes of course, but the idea of having to constantly clarify my mental illness doesnt make me dangerous to myself or others sounds like actual hell tbh.

this is all /nm and /info, I hope it helps :3

desirdaes entire concept is being a transitioning counterpart to dissomei, yes? while also being antirq, yet we accept the labels of desirharm[ed/ful] , which kind of defeats the whole purpose, it's become transIDs reskinned, and frankly i feel like this is reflecting the anti community overall, i feel like the communities just reskinned it and used the " but were not pro-xyz" while the labels mean almost the same thing, with the only difference really being the name and a very thinly veiled "transition without harm" which after a certain point isn't possible, and yet we let and accept the ones like harmed/harmful thrive, when there is no way to transition to them with out harm. there is a point where the community recreated the transIDs. The way we've did it [in my opinion] is honestly worse, as it ignores itself, desirharm[ed/ful] are such contradictions, but are defended because of its prefix when its simply the same thing, there are many harmful labels we've created and we excuse it with the simple idea that it is different because we coined it.

[itsdanii]

Ahhh, your rejecting and regretting series is so good, my heart 🥺❤️ Can you do another one but with kuroo and kenma? You can ignore this request if you don’t wanna do it, I love your writing style and your blog! Stay safe and have a good day! 💞💞

Hey, bub! Thank you so much for the kind words, I appreciate it ♥️ I hope you don't mind me doing this only for Kenma. I got carried away so it got quite longer than I intended 🤦‍♀️ Anyway, here's your request! I hope you like it ♥️ Have a good day, stay safe and hydrated! Mwah!

a/n: read the note on the last part.

Rejecting and Regretting 6

genre: angst to fluff

warning/s: cursing, do message me if i missed any

a/n: please do read the warnings before you proceed. warnings have been put there for a reason.

ft. timeskip!kenma kozume

title says it all

Masterlist | Updates

Kenma Kozume

When you moved in to your apartment, you never expected your neighbor to be THE Kenma Kozume

If truth be told, you've been a fan of his ever since he started streaming

You knew that he didn't know you nor would he pay attention to you so you did not bother telling him that you were a big fan - the first one to always comment when he starts streaming

Not only did you think that it may make him uncomfortable but also make him feel like you were only trying to befriend him for his reputation

One night, as you were coming back from a short trip to the grocery store, you were walking with your earphones in and nose pointed on the screen while rewatching one of his videos

What you didn't know was that Kenma was walking behind you and was actually staring as you smiled and giggled while watching

You almost squealed when a hand came on your shoulder, almost punching the person behind you

Oddly, that was the starting point of your friendship

Although Kenma was hesitant at first (duh, you almost punched him) , he slowly eased when he felt that you were genuine

You basically went from neighbors to roommates because of how often you went to his unit, just playing random games and having occasional sleepovers

It wasn't long then when you realized that your "fangirling" towards the streamer developed into something more

You realized that you were no longer looking at him as the Kodzuken of the gaming world but just Kenma Kozume

You knew that you were fucked and thus you tried hiding it, but no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't

So you came up with a solution - confess. You decided that you would take the leap, confess, and hope that everything would turn out well, not knowing that it was only one sided

You shifted from one foot to another as you waited for Kenma to open the door of his unit.

Earlier, you both planned another sleepover and you took the initiative to cook dinner for the two of you instead of ordering another takeout.

As you waited, you could feel your stomach grumbling as the scent of the freshly baked sushi wafted in the air.

To be honest, you weren't really a good cook but you taught yourself how to with the help of youtube and cookbooks. You weren't even planning on learning how to do it but you were getting bored of takeouts, plus, you also wanted to impress Kenma even for a bit.

When the door finally opened, you smiled widely at Kenma while showing the food you made.

"Told you to not bother knocking and just make your way inside," he muttered before taking the pan from you and letting you in.

"Unlike you, I have my manners, Kozume," you playfully said as you plopped yourself on the couch head first.

Hearing him mumbling something under his breath as he arranged the table, you propped your elbow on the couch to watch him with a small pout playing on your lips. Your eyes followed his every movement and you couldn't help but question how someone could look so perfect.

His hair was a mess in a half bun and he was wearing nothing fancy, just his old sweatpants and a hoodie. Despite that, he still managed to look like a model, specifically those who preferred the "woke up like this" look.

"Y/n, are you going to eat or not?"

You blinked your eyes when you noticed the frown plastered on Kenma's face. Immediately, you stood up and walked over to the table with a small blush on your cheeks after being caught daydreaming.

"Sorry," you said sheepishly.

Kenma's apartment was then filled with the sounds of utensils clanking and small conversations the two of you were sharing.

Even though it seemed like Kenma wasn't paying attention, you knew that he was listening. You were aware of how much he preferred listening and observing more than talking anyway. It's just that you wished that he would talk more around you.

Somewhere in your conversation, you tried hinting your feelings towards him. In fact, you think that it was pretty obvious, but it seemed like Kenma didn't notice - that or he was purposely avoiding to indulge you.

"Getting in a relationship with a fan isn't boring you know? It actually sounds exciting, to be honest."

At that, Kenma heaved a sigh which instinctively made you shut up.

His eyes were already casted on the food infront of him instead of you,  eyebrows furrowed as if he was suddenly put in a bad mood. "I dont... really like this topic," Kenma said with a dismissive tone.

You felt your heart drop upon hearing that.

You've already practiced your confession several times and there was no way you'd let such words discourage you that easily. All you knew was that you had to get it out of your chest - now or never.

You placed your utensils down and looked at him straight in the eye despite him trying to avoid your gaze. "Why not, Kozume?" you asked, trying to push him to talk.

"I just don't see the point. Why would you want to date your fan? That's... weird," he simply answered, "What if they don't really like you? There's a high chance that a fan would date their idols because of popularity and fame. It's nothing but a self satisfaction."

"Hmm... I guess you do have a point," you said with a nod.

Placing your elbow on top of the table, chin resting on your palm, you pointed at yourself with your free hand which made Kenma look at you with one eyebrow raised. "Then what if it's me who wants to date you? Im a fan of yours, after all. Would you also reject me?" you asked hopefully.

Without wasting any second, Kenma answered, "Of course. Why would I date you?"

You didn't know how to react upon hearing that. You wanted to believe that he was trying to tease you but there weren't any signs of that from the tone of his voice. Moreover, he had nothing but a serious expression on his face.

"Because I like you," you answered with a low voice.

That simple phrase caused the silence to enevelope the two of you. The anticipation made your hands feel clammy to the point that you had to let go of your utensils to grip the sweatpants your were wearing.

Silently, you stared at each other as if waiting for the other person to break the silence - until Kenma did.

"Well, I don't." Standing up, Kenma took his plate and placed it on the sink, his back turned against you as he continued, "I think I'm going to stream for a bit. Make yourself comfortable."

You stared at Kenma as he made his way to his room wordlessly. "Make myself comfortable? Just who the fuck would say that after rejecting someone?" you muttered under your breath.

Knowing that it would be pointless to distract him while streaming, you started to clean the table and proceeded on washing the plates. As you were doing so, you whispered a curse when a tear suddenly slid down your cheeks.

You weren't supposed to cry. You prepared for this so you should've been able to take the rejection properly, right? He was Kenma Kozume after all. Although you became close with each other, it seemed as if he was really beyond your reach.

And now you ruined the only thing keeping you close to him - your friendship.

You decided to leave his unit after that. You felt that proceeding with the sleepover would only put a tense atmosphere between the two of you. Moreover, he did shut you out, right? Though he told you to make yourself comfortable, the way he acted said otherwise.

Maybe he only said it not to hurt your feelings.

"As if he hadn't already," you murmured, shutting and locking the door behind you.

In hopes of cheering yourself up, you decided to take a warm shower and pamper yourself to he point that skincare products basically littered your vanity when you finished and don't forget the fact that you ended up smelling like a strawberry because of your bodywash.

By the time you went to bed, you were feeling a little better... or were you?

As you laid on your bed, staring at the wall beside you while hugging a pillow close to your chest, your mind suddenly went back to what happened awhile ago.

You thought of how dismissive he seemed towards you. He wasn't always like that. Kenma had always been enthusiastic when you're around. Sometimes you would even end up watching beside him as he streams.

What changed?

Groaning, you buried your face on your pillow when you felt yourself tearing up once again. "Tomorrow will be better," you mumbled against the soft material as you slowly allowed yourself to fall asleep.

It didn't.

In fact, it got worse.

Not only was Kenma avoiding you, he was also acting as if he didn't know you - as if you didn't exist.

Earlier this morning when you were taking the trash out, you waved at him in hopes of lightening up the mood, but instead of usually greeting you, Kenma didn't even spare you a glance. He basically walked pass you without saying anything.

At first, you thought that maybe he didn't see you. Maybe his mind was elsewhere while walking. That could be possible right?

But when it continued for several more days, you realized that he was indeed avoiding you.

You felt a mixture of pain and anger. You were supposed to be the one avoiding him since it was him who rejected you but why was it the other way around? He could've atleast talked to you, let alone smile. Did he not value even just your friendship?

As the days went on, you were slowly getting tired of being the only one to put effort on rekindling your relationship. It was exhausting to keep on chasing over someone who didn't even acknowledged you.

Maybe you were just a bother to him after all.

So despite your will to keep on getting his attention, you decided to stop. If he didn't want you then so be it. You already confessed and did your best to show him that you're genuine. That's all that matters.

-

Kenma stared at your door beside his intensely, hand mid-air to turn the knob of his own unit.

It had been two weeks since he last saw you and for the third time of the day, he was yet again met with nothing but silence when he tried knocking on your door.

Where were you?

He knew that how he acted towards you was unreasonable but he didn't expected himself to wake up feeling like shit everyday without seeing you. He did this. He pushed you away. He said he didn't like you, right?

Groaning frustratedly, Kenma entered his unit, heading straight to his streaming room to cool off his head. If he couldn't see you personally, then perhaps he could at least see your name on his viewers.

He knew you always watched his stream and how you would always be the first to comment. Sometimes, you would even donate a huge amount of cash as a tip even though you always complained about being broke.

"They're not watching?" Kenma said unconsciously as he noticed how your name wasn't on the list.

That instantly caused a ruckus in his stream's comment section. Several fans kept on asking who Kodzuken was referring to and some even got the right answer since he streamed with you several times already.

But instead of saying anything, Kenma stayed silent. He focused on his game, occasionally shifting his eyes to the comment section and interacting with his fans.

His eyes, however, caught one comment. It was a link with the caption "Isn't this y/n?". Out of curiosity, Kenma decided to check it, finding out that you were indeed the person in the video.

No, it wasn't a video. It was a live stream of someone like him - a player.

And there you were, seated beside the unfamiliar person with a fluffy blanket wrapped around your body and your your head resting on their shoulder.

Who was that and why did you look too comfy?

"Sorry, guys. I'll have to end the stream now. Something important came up," Kenma said with a small wave before ending his stream.

Stalking the other streamer's socials, Kenma frowned upon noticing several pictures of you attached in their instagram. They were even posted just a few days ago which meant that you must've been spending time with them throughout the days you weren't at home.

Something stirred inside Kenma. It was an unpleasant feeling blooming inside his chest, clawing at him and making him realize one important thing.

He was in love with you.

And it was only confirmed when he remembered how nervous he was when you confessed, how scared he was when he heard the door shutting after he rejected you, and how stupid he was for only realizing it now.

"Shit," he whispered to himself as he quickly tapped on his phone, his finger hovering over your number, debating wether or not should he dial.

Suddenly, he shifted his gaze on the monitor of his pc which was still displaying the unfamiliar streamer when he noticed how you snuggled closer to their side.

Muttering anther curse, Kenma clicked on your number, his eyes focused on the montior of his laptop as he watched you picking up your phone.

"Please pick up," he pleaded when he noticed the frown on your face.

It took him a full 5 minutes and several dials to finally make you give in. He watched as you whispered something on the person beside you before making your way out of the room.

On cue, your voice suddenly met his ear.

"Kozume?"

It was still as soft as he could remember and with the fact that he finally admitted his feelings, his cheeks burned when he felt his heart racing.

Say it. Say it.

Say you like her.

"I-" pausing for a moment to rethink his words, Kenma sighed deeply before answering, "I'm sorry for being mean."

Fuck.

He was met with silence from the other side and for a moment, he got scared that you dropped the call.

It was until he heard some rustling sound that he realized you were still there and was purposely trying to stay quiet.

"Can we talk about this in person?" you said with a tiny voice.

Out of panic, Kenma nodded, forgetting that he was ralking to you over the phone and not in person. Mentally smacking himself, he answered, "Yes. I'd prefer that."

And I'd prefer if you're here instead of that caveman's room.

"Then, I'll be there in 20."

-

The moment Kenma heard someone knocking, he was quick to open the door.

His lips basically parted at the sight of you. It was only two weeks and yet why did it felt like he hadn't seen you in a month?

"Kozu-"

"I'm sorry," he cut you off, arms wrapping around you as soon as you stepped inside his apartment.

He felt how your body became stiff in his hold and without wasting any chance, he poured everything out. "I'm sorry for how I acted towards you. I treated you as if you were the last person I wanted to be with and when I didn't see you for several days, I realized how much I hurt your feelings." He took a deep breath, eyes focusing on you as he gripped your shoulders slightly. "Forgive me? I promise that I'll make it up to you."

Kenma hoped that you could notice the genuineness in his voice. He wasn't the type of person to talk too much but for you, he'd do it if it means having you forgive him and give him another chance.

"It's... alright, Kozume," you answered with a small smile.

"It's alright?" Kenma asked slowly. He knew that he should be happy that you forgave him easily but the way you said it made it seem like you were only forcing yourself.

It's like you didn't mean it.

"W-what do you mean it's alright?" he repeated.

"It means exactly what it means. I don't really see the point of holding a grudge against you, you know? You rejected me and I accepted it." Shrugging your shoulders, you walked pass him and went to sit on the couch. "I guess I just got too ahead of myself. I mean, you're Kenma Kozume, the Kodzuken of the gaming world. It would be impossible for you to like me, right? Sorry if I made you uncomfortable with my confession."

Kenma swallowed the lump forming inside his throat, eyes darting away from your figure as he shook his head no. "No... That's not true."

"What do yo-"

"I like you. How could you ever think that low of yourself?" he said, finally looking at you before he walking towards your direction. "It's not Kodzuken to you, y/n. Kozume - just Kozume. I don't want you to think that I'm someone all high and mighty just because people acknowledge me. I don't care about that. I want you. I want you to look at me the same way you did before. I want you to keep on clinging to me and to keep on cooking for me despite not knowing how to. I want you to like me again. I just want you.."

You felt your eyes well up with tears. After a long time of pining over someone you thought you wouldn't be able to reach, it was finally here - the moment you finally manage to hear the words you've longed to hear from him.

"D-do you mean that?" you asked with a small sob, your hand covering your face as you felt yourself being lifted and placed on Kenma's lap. "What if you're only saying that to make me feel better?"

"Of course I mean it. I was too stupid being scared of acknowledging my feelings towards you that I ended up rejecting you. I'm sorry." Gently, Kenma rubbed your back as he kept you in his arms, words of apologies continue slipping past his lips as he waited for you to stop crying.

"If I told you I still like you, would you promise not to treat me like shit again?" you asked while wiping your cheek with the back of your hand. "You were really mean to me, Kozu."

"I'd promise," Kenma answered with a nod.

Looking at him, you sniffled one more time. "Then I still like you," you said without taking your eyes off him.

You didn't fail to notice how Kenma's cheeks turned a lighter shade of red and the thought of how he got more flustered by your second confession than the fact that you were seated on his lap made you smile a little.

"Oh," Kenma uttered, as if suddenly not knowing how to react.

"You're supoosed to kiss me like those cliche movies," you said while encircling your arms around his neck.

Kenma's blushed even deeper after hearing that. Gulping, he gave a stiff nod before leaning in and finally planting his lips on yours.

His lips were soft against yours. Despite how tense he was at the beginning, he slowly managed to relax, fingers interlocking with your hair as he kept on moving his lips in synch with yours, both of your eyes closed as you savored the moment.

You felt yourself smiling in your kiss as you realized something - no longer were you just a fan but his s/o.

If you're reading this, hello.

I've decided that this will be the last part of the rejecting and regretting series. Though I had a lot of fun writing these, I'm no longer satisfied with how I'm writing them. The scenes were slowly becoming repetitive as well as the words. I'm craving for something new- something fresh that I've yet to explore. It was quite overwhelming how much people loved this series and I'm very thankful for that so I feel a little bad that this would be the last one. Don't worry, I still have some stuff brewing up that I hope you'd all enjoy.

Thank you so much for the love, support, and most importantly, for reading the series up until this last one. ♥️

[asexual-society]

hi!! so recently ive been questioning if im aspec but am also v confused. im 13-15 yrs old and have never had a crush on anyone irl, celebrities, etc. im not sure if thats normal or not but i am unlabelled so already being part of the lgbtq community has made me wonder if the fact that ive never had a crush is also related to something lgbtq (aspec). not sure if im aromantic or not but i really dont know how to figure it out. also whenever my friends mention s*x i feel kinda gross but idk.. help

Hey, sorry it took so long to get to this, I wanted to make sure I did a decent job answering it.

So you've not had any crushes! By 13, most (allo) people tend to have had some crushes, both on celebrities and normal people. If you haven't that could be because you're ace, or aro, and you could just be a late bloomer, but if you're 15 and it hasn't happened yet then. maybe it's not going to?

It's totally chill to stay unlabelled or questioning, you don't need to figure everything out right now, you're still super young (and it's fine if you stay unlabelled forever too, just to be clear). I can't tell you if you're ace or aro or otherwise aspec, it sounds to me like you could be so it's totally fine for you to try out those labels, you don't have to keep them, or even tell anyone about them if you don't want, just see how they fit for a while if you want, but it's important to remember that you're trying on a label, not putting yourself in a box.

I don't want it to sound like I'm discouraging you from ID'ing as aspec at all, but it doesn't hurt to keep an open mind. At 13 I ID'd vaguely and secretly as bi on and off for 3 years, I barely even knew asexuality or aromanticism existed, so I'm really glad you have those options to explore. Also, don't worry about the sex repulsion thing, loads of acespec people are sex repulsed, and tbh, so are a lot of people your age, truly you are not the only one, and it might even go away, or get weaker over time. I mean even I'm less sex repulsed now than I was a year ago and I'm in my 20s. It doesn't for everyone, some people's gets worse, but these things are fluid, just like anything.

There are loads of resources you can find online about both (I am currently riddled with executive dysfunction otherwise I'd link them here, but there are a ton already on this and other blogs, as well as AVEN and AUREA), don't knock the efficacy of Am I Ace quizzes if you want a more fun and easy way to get your thoughts in order.

I hope this helps, and if anyone has any resources that might be useful, please share them. <3

- mod key

[hoonhrt]

EMBRASSE-MOI

: pairing — student! jay x tutor! reader

: genre — fluff, crack 

: song recc. — L’amour by Miel De Montagne 

: a/n — this lowkey sucks but I've been wanting to get work out so I'm sorry if this isn't the best :(( also I'm still learning french so if some of it is wrong pls lmk so i can fix it!! 

Jay was your school’s resident bad boy. blond hair, all-black outfits, cuts class and yells at kids that look his way. you know? the usual. You on the other hand were the complete opposite. straight-A student. A quiet kid who didn��t dare look the ways of Jay Park and his Clique™. So imagine the shock that was felt when the boy you avoided at all costs, walks up to you in the middle of the cafeteria asking for French lessons. 

“You want me to do what?�� He rolls his eyes, tired of this conversation already. 

“Can you not hear? I’m failing French and I need to pass or else my parents won’t let me move to France.” He speaks as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

“And you’re asking me why?” He rolls his eyes again for what felt like the 100th time. You’re just confused about how he even knows of your existence.

“Listen, all I know that you’re in my French class and that you pay attention, I’ll even pay you I just need to get my mark up.” You perk up to the sound of money. You don’t really need but it’s still nice to have some. Doing this will get you good Karma right? 

“Fine. Meet me at the library every Monday and Wednesday after class, got it?” Jay stares at you with annoyance. He really does not want to be wasting his senior year on stupid lessons but, here we are. He reluctantly agrees and watches you walk away, struggling to hold your books in your arms. He turns around and lets out a deep sigh, wondering if the hot chicks and fancy baguettes in France are really worth this

Minutes turned into hours as you waited for Jay to show up. You waited patiently for hours just for this kid to not show up. Annoyed, you start to pack up your books. You don’t know why you’d think someone like Jay would actually show up to a voluntary tutor session. You were just about to make your way out of the library when you see someone running towards you almost like the flash. As the figure got closer to your still body, you realize it was Jay. Now, bent over in front of you gasping for air with his tongue out like a dog. You stared at his limped-over figure with confusion and slight disgust. 

“s-s-sorry i was… late, i f-forgot about… this.” he manages to speak out with the little air he has in him. He stands up and evens out his breath. 

“what makes you think i’m gonna tutor you now? you wasted my time Park, i have a life too you know.” you snap at him. He stares at you for a brief second before letting out a hearty laugh, throwing his head back and slapping his leg. He sees your serious expression, your eyes glaring at him like an eagle and awkwardly stops laughing. 

“Look, i’m paying you and this is only gonna last for a little while. i just need to pass, that’s it.” His eyes shine with a hopeful gleam, a look that is extremely rare to see from Jay Park. He looked a little cute. You dramatically sigh and start walking into the library, Jay following behind you. 

You settle at the table you sat at prior, re-opening your book bag to pull out your notes. He just watches you do that, not making an effort to even bring out a pencil. 

“Okay, so how much french do you even know?” 

He stares into space, a little hesitant to continue. “Um, i can ask if i can go to the bathroom?” You stare at him with disbelief. You’ve been in this class with him for months and that’s all he knows. 

“THAT’S IT?” 

“Oh and i can say good morning!” you let out a loud groan that catches the attention of others around, causing them to loudly shush at you. Feeling annoyed again, you contemplate if the money was really worth it. You sigh out and start looking for your notes from the beginning of the semester. This was gonna take a LONG time. 

“... and that’s how you conjugate verbs in the past tense, aka passé composé!” You finish off the session with joy. Jay on the other hand has gone completely blank, not remembering a single word you just told him. He stares down at his notes, then at you, then back down at his notes. You can see the struggle on his face and he hasn’t said a word yet. 

“I’m never gonna pass french. This is it. I can kiss France goodbye.” he claims with despair. This already too hard for him and he barely has learned anything. He sets his head on the table and mumbles to himself about how he will never be happy if he doesn’t live his youthful 20’s in France. You sat across from him irritated with his discouraging behaviour and a little sad that you weren’t able to teach him well. Until you come up with a plan that might help him improve much quicker.  

“What if… we hang out this weekend? We can do something and we’ll only speak in French! Of course I’ll help you and all that. But like, maybe? Only if you want to of course you probably don’t wanna spend your weekend with me i dont know you know its just a plan.” you ramble on and on without stopping and Jay simply just watches you. He smirks a little before nodding. 

“How about you put your number in my phone and then I’ll text you when I’m free hm?” he slides his phone across the table towards you and eyes you typing it in. He catches a glimpse of your rose-coloured cheeks and smirks a little more. 

“Okay, uh there’s my number! Just um, text me you know, when you’re free!” you manage to stutter out. Jay just nods at you and again, watches you walk away. This time a slight smile across his face. 

A sudden notification pulls you away from your thoughts. An unknown number that you had a feeling belonged to a particular boy you didn’t think would actually text you. 

042-002-1130: bonjour 

042-002-1130: was that even right

042-002-1130: anyways I’m free on saturday if you wanna hang ig 

042-002-1130: samedi is saturday right 

042-002-1130: it is wow im such a genius 

You let out a snort at his cocky behaviour and reply back, letting him know that you were free yourself and to meet you at the school grounds at 2 pm. 

Saturday shows up as you wait outside the school gates, a picnic basket in hand. An all-black car with dark tinted windows zooms up to you. The window is pulled down and alas, the handsome boy sits in the driver’s seat, ushering you to get into the car with his hand. 

“Woah a picnic basket? Listen y/n you’re cool and all but this isn’t a date,” he speaks and notices you roll your eyes. A smug smile tugging his lips. 

“No you asshole, I have a plan with this.” 

“Tell me,” Jay begins to drive away from the school. The destination is unknown to you but extremely familiar to the boy next to you. 

“In here there is a bunch of food, in order for you to eat, you’re gonna have to say the name of the food in french.” He turns his head to see you looking back at him, a sweet smile places on your face. Jay has always known of you. You sat in the back of the classroom, handed in all your work on time and never skipped a class. You had very few friends and always seemed to be lost in a dream world when you weren’t working. Jay had never been able to speak to you personally as you always avoided him but know he has the chance to actually talk to you, and he doesn’t wanna mess it up. 

The car stopped at the edge of a giant grassy field. The greenery going miles ahead. Trees surrounding the two of you. Jay like a gentleman runs out of the car to open the door for you. You blush at his actions, thanking him silently by smiling at him. 

He directs you to a small spot under a tree. You lay out a blanket for you to sit on while Jay leans up against the tree. You tell him to sit down next to you as you bring out all the little snacks to share with him. He thinks that he could get used to this. 

“D’accord, commençons! Qu'est-ce que ç'est?” (okay, lets start! What is this?) 

You pick up a grape. He thinks for a little bit before answering. “Un raisin.” (a grape) You clap with glee and hand him over the grape. A silence falls between you both, unaware of how to keep going. He picks up a strawberry and brings it to your face. “Tu aime les fraises?” (do you like strawberries?) You eye him for a second, for someone who said he only knows how to ask how to go the bathroom in french, he knows quite a bit. You nod a little, opening your mouth and letting him feed you the sweet fruit. Your face matches the colour of the strawberry and he giggles. You pull out a sandwich and ask him to describe what’s in it. 

“Dans le sandwich, il y a du jambon, du beurre, et de la tomate.” (in the sandwich there is some ham, some butter, and some tomato.) He speaks confidently. 

“Trés bien Jay! Tu es bon en parler francias!” (very good Jay! You are really good at speaking French!) 

“Merci, mon Cheri.” (Thank you, my dear.) you blush even more before and shy away from Jay’s gaze. Jay being the very bold guy that he is, placing his hand underneath your jaw, forcing you to meet his eyes. You both just stare at each other as the sun sets behind you. Was Jay always this beautiful? His eyes scan over your face seeking for any discomfort, none is to be found. So he makes the move and starts to lean in. You already have your eyes closed and lips puckered out, ready to embrace a feeling you’ve never felt before.

His breath fans over your lips and just before he kisses you he asks “je peux t’embrasser? (can I kiss you?) you eagerly nod and whisper out “embrasse-moi.” (kiss me.) Jay finally places his lips on yours and everything feels right. Your hands find their way to the back of his neck to deepen the kiss. You stay in this position with him for a little while before you pull back for air. Both his hands cradle your face, his thumb rubbing across the apples of your cheeks.

“I still have a lot to learn y’know?” Jay breaks the silence. You laugh out loud, falling into his lap. 

“Same time next week then yeah?” He lets out a ‘hmm’ and watches you rest your head against his thigh, playing with the ends of your hair. ‘Maybe France could wait a little’ he thought. 

[gentil-minou]

I read the adrien situation post and a quick question, how a person that lives in a house that doesn't really care THAT much about them go to a therapist? I'm asking this because I really want to go to one but I live in a small village and also my family thinks I'm joking when I say I really want to go to one. What do I do? I just have myself to trust here. My family isn't abusive they just put me in the dark mostly of the time but I been feeling pretty unwell for 3 or 4 years in a roll. Now I'm better! But I think I still need to go to a therapist. Can you give me a tip?

okay first of all, i'm so sorry that you've been in that situation for so long and i hope that will change soon, but here's my advice

1. find support in other way. by that i mean communities with people you identify with, whether its fandom or forums for people going through similar things. sometimes it's easy to feel isolated but i promise, there are other's like you out there and they will want to help you.

2. find an adult who you can trust, someone who you can look to for support. this could be someone at your school or an elder or a neighbor, family friend, etc. someone you trust who is looking out for you and who you feel like might understand. and dont be discouraged if it takes a while to find one, it's scary to be vulnerable but as one of those adults who advocate for kids i can honestly say we do exist.

3. im not sure what country you live in, but look into what the laws are for consent for medical services. for instance, in america and the state where i live the legal age for a minor to seek mental health services is 13. this means that if i have a client 13 and older they are able to seek services without their parents permission and i never have to contact their parents (though insurance may find out and contact them, that's why i say look into the rules and restriction in your area)

4. finally, look for other services. outreach groups, school counseling, youth groups, charities, etc. services that are there to support you. if there are none in your area, look online and see if you state/province has anything. it might be hard to find but they are there.

5. and finally, most importantly, remember that while this may be the situation you are in now, it won't be forever. it can feel that way sometimes, it can make you feel really really scared and isolated and afraid, but one day you will get out of there and you will get the support you need. even if it might take a while, you've made it for so long that i know you can keep going

and remember i'm always rooting for you <3 while i cannot offer my services as that is not ethically sound, i am here to tell you that you are loved and valuable and your feelings are valid, and i have every belief and faith that you are going to get the love and support you need one day <3

[lazywonderlvnd]

Do you have any advice on starting a fic? I haven’t written anything creative in years (10-15?) but I’ve got this vague idea of something I’d like to try. I am simply overwhelmed with how to start not only plotting everything out but just writing again.

firstly I’m so excited for u, it’s such a crazy good feeling to start writing again after a long time of not doing it and I think the main main main thing that’s good to keep in mind as u get started is that ur allowed to just have fun with it and u don’t need to worry about how it sounds. Definitely don’t compare it to anybody else’s writing or set any kind of bar for yourself to achieve. if ur anything like me you’ll get incredibly discouraged incredibly fast if it doesn’t instantly sound like final draft poetry and that’s just silly!!!

as far as getting started, I think what I’d tell u to do is not try and plan. Dont start outlining or plotting if that feels daunting right now. I guarantee u there is no writer alive who instantly knew what their whole story would look like before they even started outlining. Pick whatever scene is in ur head (or even whatever vague emotion you want to convey that’s got you excited and is making u feel like writing) and write THAT. Don’t even bother with a “proper” beginning to the scene. Just jump in mary catherine Gallagher style and start writing whatever is right there at the forefront of ur mind. Not only will that feel fun and not stress out bc you won’t have to stop and think and be tempted to plan, but personally I think we do our very best writing when it’s something that we’re super excited about and if u haven’t written in a decade, it will be so so good for ur creative self esteem to see what u put down on paper (screen) when it’s not being forced out of u in the name of plotting or outlining or starting a scene from the beginning rather than where ur brain feels like starting. If that makes sense. Sometimes if im feeling rly stuck but I have some vague idea of smth I want to write l, I’ll just start writing dialogue and see what happens. you should see the rough drafts @dracoladon has sent me before she fills in detail and exposition and action etc and we all know her final drafts are genius tier.

Find what makes u excited, makes u WANT to write, and do that. Plotting, outlining, that can come later if it feels scary to u. There’s no proper formula to writing, there’s no law that says u must start at the beginning of a story or of a scene or that u have to have any idea fully formed in ur head before u start. It could even be helpful to start with something that has nothing to do with ur idea: place the characters (assuming ur talking Harry and Draco but if not, whatever characters u fancy!!!) in a setting you like and explore it. Put them at the beach, in a forest, walking around, find out what they’re doing as u write. Enjoy doing details and aesthetics and dialogue before u worry about the heavier stuff. Once you dip ur toes in, and once u feel ready, then start outlining or plotting or whatever is best for u. I personally have a really hard time outlining and rly enjoy just writing scene by scene usually. If I start trying to force myself to do smth I’m not comfortable with, it instantly drains me of muse and I don’t wanna write anymore.

Tl;dr try not to stress about plotting and outlining and formulas. Write what ur excited about and let that help u figure out where ur going next. If the very last scene of a fic is what’s in ur head and ur excited about, write that. Even if u have no idea how they got there. Find what makes ur fingers itch and follow that. I really hope this helps, please let me know how it goes, I’m very excited for you!!! ❤️❤️❤️

[siriuslystargazing]

I new I could count on you

 Request: hiii, I see your request are open and I was hoping for a sirius x reader based in book 5, the time when Molly and Sirius have an argument and reader steps up for Sirius? thank you! 

A/N: Yess oo this is going to be good !! i feels right to be back in the grove again no Uni work to worry about so lets get this ball rolling :) quick disclaimer, my spelling is bad i have dylexcia sorry but hopefully its not that bad... i havent read the books in a few years but hope you like it :))

Summary: after all this time sirius can always count on you to back him.

Grimmauld palace was far from a palace to Sirius, he saw this place as more a prison than anything, no matter how much Molly cleanend the walls always seemd to hold the memories and dirty secrets that the black family held. The newest secret the walls held were the wearabouts of Harry Potter, Harry was relived to finally leave his tiny room at 4 private drive much be his new room was a somewhat dusty upgrade but he could live with it he was finally with his family again. but the reunion had to wait a while as the Order meeting was getting a little intense in the kitchen “Well Well Well” George Weasly Started “if it isnt Harry” Fred followed “want to know whats happening down stairs then?” the twins quized smirking bettween themselves 

“i have a feeling your going to do whatever it is wether or not i agree” Harry replied, the twins shared a look and nodded Harry smiled and followed the weaslys to the stairs 

“surly we shouldnt be doing this we’re not in there for a reason” hermionie stressed watching the twins lower the ear down listing on to the convosation...

in the Kitchen the table played host to a mix of wizards and witches, Sirius sat inbeteewn Remus and Y/N with Molly oppersit all four of them in a heated debate over harry “ Molly, Harry has a right to know about what is happening, if it wasnt for him we wouldnt know that Voldamort was back! he isnt a child molly ” Sirus started earning a frustrated huff “but he isnt an Adult either, he is not James-” Y/N flinched at the name sirius took note and placed his hand in hers giving a reasuring squeez “-He is not your Son! Molly!-”Y/N began “ Harry is our Godson we have a duty of care for him -” 

“Oh please Y/N ! where have you two been for the past 12 years, one of you was rotting in Azkaban and you were galavanting across Asia” 

“shut up you slimey Git thats my Wife your talking to!” sirius shot from his seat slaming his palms on the table silencing Snape.

“oh Enough of this the lot of you, i say we leave the meeting here and get dinner on” Molly disbanded the meeting opening the kitchen door and calling everyone down for dinner, 

“Harry Potter!” sirius Greeted embracing the teen in a tight hug “i have someone very imortant here for you to meet” pulling away and waving Y/N over to them 

“Hello Bambi” Y/N started, Tears pricked at her eyes as she took in the teen before her, he really was a spitting image of James “im Y/N, Your Godmother, i want to apologise for not being in your life i was told you died that night and well...” Y/N trailed off but was embraced in hug from Harry “its okay Y/N its nice to finally meet you Remus and Sirus told me so much about you !”

“not to cut the reunion short my love but i belive Molly is ready to plate up dinner” 

“oh yes of course!” 

Each sat at the table Whilst molly continued to cut vegetables as Arther informed HArry on his Hearing at the Ministry “this is very peculiar Harry, your hearing at the ministry is to be infront of, well the enitre Wizard front..”

“but i dont understand what has the Ministry got against me ?”

“Show him” Moody Grunted from the Shadows “he will find out soon enough beter to just show him now” more looks were exchanged at the table until Kingsly grabed a copy of the profit showing Harry the headline, sirius sighed “dont worry they have been attacking Dumbledor aswell”

“we belive Fudge is using his influence and power over at the profit to discourage the rumors of Voldemorts return, and he is deluded, fudge thinks Dumbledor is after his job!” Y/N continued 

“but thats insane No one would-” “Thats exactly the point Harry! Fudge isnt in his right mind, its been twisted by fear, and the last time Voldamort gained this much power, he nearly destroyed everything we hold dear to us” Remus cut in looking towards Y/N and Sirius with a small smile “and the minister we will do anything in his power to avoid that truth” 

Sirius and Y/N looked at eachother for a moment Nodding in silent agreement “We think, he wants to build up his army again..14 years ago he had a huge following not just witches and Wizards but other dark creatures and he has started up again, the order have done the same but gathering followers isnt the only thing hes interested in... we belive Voldamort is after somthing” The sound of mollys chopping grinded to a halt “Sirius” Moody warned but Sirius ingnored and continued “Somthing he didnt have Last time-” 

“No! thats Enough, he. is. Jusy. a. BOY!” Molly orderd her Knife claterted to the table as she rushed to Harrys side “you say much more and you might as well induct him into the order” 

“great i’d love to Join” HArry Protested “if Voldamort is raising an army i want to be a ble to fight” Sirius didnt reply but gave molly a look and clapped 

“he has a point” Y/N spoke her voice quite, sirius gave harry a wink “Excuse me!”

“Molly, Harry has a right to know and its Sirius and my duty to inform him of what is happening, you cant shield him away from this its his life, he might not have asked for it but we cant keep him hidden from the inevitable, and last time i checked and i did in asia you can’t change a profacy like this its self fufiling no matter how hard you try it will happen, all we can do is support him and help him.” the table was silent apart from a small wimper form Ron as he noticed his Mothers look 

“But he is just a Boy Y/N, What would James and Lily think? why on earth they made you two his Godparents is beyond me? both of you are reckless, young and have no -”

“HOW DARE YOU QUESTION THEM! THEY TRUSTED US FOR A REASON, MAYBE IF YOU NEW THEM THE WAY WE DID YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND BUT YOU DONT MOLLY! everything i have done was for Harry, for them, they asked me to figure out a way to save Harry  and i did i travled across the world to find a way to save him, so dont you ever question my husband or my friends actions” Y/N argued, everthing she did for the past 14 years was to find a way to save harry, Lily asked her to do it,  Lily trusted Y/N like James trusted Sirius.

Molly was shocked she hadnt known much of the witch before her, only that she was a well known unspeakable, at every meeting she was quite always sat between Sirius and Remus not say much, but tonight she new that Y/N was hot headed and would do anything to protect her frends and family she sighed and went back to the cooking, Remus let out a low laugh “you always were a hot head and you still are, trust me harry dont ever get on her bad side, that isnt the worst she can do” 

“oi, Thats my loving wife!” sirius smirked pulling Y/N kissing her temple “I new i can count on you, at least you didnt set the curtains on fire this time” 

“Dont push it fleabag” Y/N smirked, sending an apologentic smile to Molly across the Table “setting curtains on fire?” 

“It was summer 1976...”