#i honestly thought about calling one of those numbers but idk which ones give you resources and which ones you can talk to about-
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#triggering content goes in the tags->#I've been trying to look at options for ed treatment and it's very confusing + overwhelming#I haven't told anyone irl at this point that I'm thinking about it again#but the other day i ate like some cheerios in the morning. and then it was evening and i needed to go to my 6pm class#and i drove around by all the paid parking close by was full#so i parked far away#and i just stopped partway to my class to cry bc i was so tired and brainfoggy and knew id done it to myself#i honestly thought about calling one of those numbers but idk which ones give you resources and which ones you can talk to about-#how you need help but you have less than 1 year left of college. which is also bad for your mental health so you just want to get it over w.#but how can you get better in college?? i don't have time. and i don't have mental energy for my assignments so I'm so behind.#today is sposed to be really fun but I'm sad and overwhelmed
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I just had an epiphany
I saw an edit on TikTok about Dawson’s Creek (idk why I’ve never seen that show) and obviously it was about C.J since… it’s Jensen Ackles.
So here’s the good stuff!!! ⬇️⬇️⬇️
Picture this. It’s an 18 year old Dean, they don’t got the time (or money) to be cutting their hair. It’s not a necessity, and it’s not relevant to their survival; so it continues to grow. Also, Dean is aware of his good looks and he doesn’t want little 14 year old Sammy to fuck up his hair; god forbid he asks his dad. He’s not in the mood for a lecture.
So it grows, and grows, and it honestly looks really good. He thought he was picking up chicks before, but those are rookie numbers compared to now (he also enjoys the very obvious star-struck wonder Sammy has every time he looks at him, it’s like a badge of honour. Dean doesn’t really get it, it’s just hair. But Sam likes it; so Dean likes it)
And poor Sammy. He may bitch and complain about his brother, but at the end of the day; his brother is everything to him. His pillar to lean on, his shoulder to cry on, his ear to rant to. Sammy doesn’t know what he’d do if he didn’t have Dean.
Sammy’s always been aware his brother was attractive. He’s got eyes, as does everyone else who looks at Dean. Deans always been sharp angles and nauseating handsomeness, but this haircut softens him a bit.
He’s still handsome, but the front pieces of his grown out hair always fall into his eyes which he blows upwards in a funny way, the length of his hair softens his cheekbones and brings out his green eyes. It almost— somehow enhances what Sam sees in a day-to-day basis. It shows off how kind his brother is. It gives sweetness to his strength. It makes Sam proud (and a little jealous. That version of his brother is for him only. No one else.)
Sam feels a bit sad when Dean finally gets a haircut. Back to the basics, Dean had joked. Sammy loves his brother (the version he sees 24/7; the version only Sammy gets) so when Sam grows up, he decides to grow his hair out too. A secret between brothers (I love you. You’re my role model. You’re my everything. I don’t know how I’ll live without you.)
Sam can’t get that version of Dean out of his head. Besides, he’s quite certain he’d look good with long hair too; and Dean always ruffles his hair with a big, almost all-knowing smile when it’s long. Dean likes to tease him by calling it his “Princess hair.” And that he’s, “As pretty as a princess.” Sam always gets flustered with that comparison.
Looks like Big Brother isn’t as oblivious as Sammy thought he was. Oops…?
#supernatural#spn#sam and dean#weirdcest#gencest#I don’t know where I was going with this#I just think we deserved long haired Dean at some point#He’s so beautiful. I’m not surprised they’re erotically codependent on one another#like shit. me too sammy. me too#it’s also kinda crazy how similar their hair looks in these two references. I’m just a genius 👉😏. big brain moment frfr#sam winchester#dean winchester#pretty boy brothers#samdean
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Idk if you have any interest in writing for any characters that aren't Miguel, but would you ever consider writing for Gabriel O'Hara? Either normal or as Green Goblin?
In terms of the Spider-Verse, noooooot really? But if someone requests a certain character I will do my best to write it.
Now for other series, oho, I got a list of characters I would die writing for! But, that will be after my hiatus (cuz Bleach is coming back and GRIMMJOW SHALL RISE!!!)
Warning: None, just fluff
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Another day of unrecognized heroism.
At least to Gabriel, that's how it felt. Every day was a constant reminder that his ex preferred his brother as Spider-Man. Every day was a constant reminder that Gabriel returned to a lonely apartment, only to feel better after saving the day in Cyberspace.
But he shouldn't or his mother would get worried about him being addicted again. Gabriel did not want to be 'saved' by Miguel again after the last time.
All Gabriel wanted to do was feel heroic too.
'Wow! Thanks a bunch for getting me out of that mess!'
Gabriel's eyes widen as he stared at you. You were in a cute, cybernetic form and your speech was almost robotic. Your style was unique and quite different than what he was used too in Cyberspace.
"You're welcome...You need to be more careful with those crooks," Gabriel warned you.
Gabriel was a hero in the Cyberspace known as Firelight. He usually messed with a group called Discord, which prayed on poor individuals in the online world.
"Thought I was, but shit happens. Just wanted to cause a little bit of trouble, hehe."
"Trouble is what I'm supposed to do. Why don't you log off, it isn't safe to stay on here for too long." Gabriel said with a soft sigh. You crossed your arms,
"And do what. There isn't much for me in the real world,"
Gabriel felt sympathy for you. He started to type something and sent it to you. Your messages popped up with a 'ding', causing you to look at what was sent.
"Huh?"
"Whenever you want to talk or hang out. Just give me a shout. I don't mind." Gabriel said with a wide smile.
"Thanks."
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Gabriel didn't really think too much about the offer he gave you. He was always a kind soul, so the thought of helping someone was instinct. Gabriel was surprised when you actually messaged him to chat.
That was how everything started. Gabriel couldn't help but smile whenever you would message him or ask to hang out in Cyberspace. He couldn't help but use you as a distraction for himself as well.
Within time, Gabriel had started to like you. He couldn't wait for your messages. Your adventures in Cyberspace were sometimes just silly and fun.
"Hey, mind if I ask for your name? I know we really shouldn't in the Cyberspace....But I'd like to call you a friend."
"Hm, I'd like that too. How about this. Why don't we spare phone numbers, that way we can chat about more personal information like our names." Gabriel offered. You were hesitant at first, but agreed,
"Okay. Thanks, Firelight...for being my friend."
"Of course."
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Gabriel felt like his head was over the moon and his heart had landed in the stars. The two of you had started to text instead of visiting the Cyberspace. Gabriel finally convinced you about the dangers of staying online, and you listened.
It wasn't hard for Gabriel to admit that he was in love. Miguel called him silly for falling for someone he hadn't physically met yet. But hell, it was 2099! No one knew anything about anyone.
Gabriel knew that you were nervous. It took weeks of texting before you started to open up about your life with him. Gabriel was just happy that you even shared anything at all.
It took some time, but Gabriel asked to meet you in person.
You hesitantly agreed.
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Gabriel was waiting at a local coffee shop in downtown Nueva York. He found it more peaceful for you to meet him there since uptown was so snobby. Honestly, Gabriel had no idea how his brother, Miguel, does it.
Speaking of his brother, Gabriel couldn't help but notice the brute hovering over a nearby building as Spider-Man.
"And yet he says he doesn't care," Gabriel resisted a chuckle. Feeling his phone buzz, Gabriel checked his messages.
'I'm here, but just give me a minute. I'm really nervous...Can you stand or something so I know where you are? Or even who you are?'
Gabriel just smiled as he stood from his seat. He stood there for a few minutes before hearing you clear your throat behind him.
"G-Gabriel?"
"(Y/N)?"
Gabriel slowly turned around to face you. Your voice was low and he could hear your nervousness. Turning to finally face you, Gabriel's eyes widen as he smiled brightly.
"You're more beautiful than I ever imagined."
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Hehe, thought it would be cute to leave things off with the meeting. Leave the rest of the interaction up to your imagination! Haha
Hope you enjoyed!!!
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Hi!
So I rewatched scream recently after having read debaser four times (since November last year no I am not okay) and idk if you've already been asked this but: if you could write scream without making changes to the pov and stuff like that what would you change (if anything at all)?
Because when I was watching it I realised that I like the plot of debaser better (not necessarily because of the romance, but just on the murders and everything) and idk if that's just because you're an amazing writer (which you are BTW your writing is literally perfect I don't even know how you do it) or if it's because of how you made small details of the story make more sense or even because the killer pov works better? Idk
So yeah I'm really curious on how you would do it both on a story and on a cinematography level!!!
(also sorry if that did not make any sense I'm mostly rambling 'cause I have a lot of thoughts)
Hey, first off thank you that's so, so sweet! Second, this is a really interesting question.
Honestly theres not a whole lot I would change about scream, a lot of it is little stuff that wouldn't necessarily be a big difference in the final product. I wouldn't change much about the cinematography really, so many of the shots in this movie are made in homage to other horror movies and I love those. They feel like easter eggs.
Some examples:
Gale nearly hitting a blood-drenched sid and swerving around her matches the scene in Carrie (1976) where she almost gets hit by a car and they swerve (a bunch of the shots in these scenes are pretty matched to each other)
Caseys hanging and Pat's hanging in Suspiria (1977)
Casey's phone call and like, all of When a Stranger Calls (1979)
Billy sneaking in Sid's window and Glen sneaking in Nancy's window in A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) - especially because Skeet was partly cast for his resemblance to Glen
This isn't even a fraction of the shot references in the movie, let alone references in dialogue, cameos from other horror movies (Linda Blair has a cameo as a reporter and Sherrif Burke is also Sargent Parker in Nightmare on Elm Street), or just movies and pop-culture references seen in the background. Like it would take me forever to list them all. I honestly can't express how satisfying and dense Scream (1996) is as a fan of horror. It goes so much further than the movies actually explicitly mentioned.
ANYWAYS. All that was just to say I wouldn't change a lot about the cinematography.
A lot of what I would change has to do with tightened plot elements. One of the things that does frustrate me about the movie is how vague Billy and Stu's alibi's are after Casey's death. I don't need them to be perfect, but we know the cops talked to them the next day at school, and later when Billy is at the police station they seem surprised to find out he left his house that night. The fact that he either lied about that or left it out would have been a major red flag for the cops, and it just seems like something you would want to consider if you're planning to get yourself arrested and betting on being released. Basically I think that should have been something he revealed when questioned by the cops at school.
A number of other details I would change mostly have to do with off-screen events, but they would alter minor stuff on screen in a way that I think would make the plot more satisfying as it unfolds. Basically I just wish Kevin Williamson had decided who did which kill. It's obvious that he decided that it didn't need explaining since it was off screen and the protagonist wouldn't have access to that information. I don't even need it to be shot that differently, I don't need Skeet or Matt in the costume instead of a stunt man to give us a sense of who is who, I just want it to be physically possible for them to get around in a way that makes sense. It should be something that can be reasoned out in a consistent way if you pay enough attention.
This is particularly a problem for me with Himbry's death and hanging, and with the chase sequence at the house. Like Ghostface kills Kenny, watches Sid run away... doesn't chase her? Like he would be behind yeah, but also she's the main target and she seems to be running down the driveway. Instead he hides Kenny's body and goes back into the house? Why? Where did Randy go and why didn't he leave through the front door? Was Ghostface just waiting inside the house for Dewey instead of going and trying to find Randy or Sid? All of this feels a little sloppy to me since we know the phones in the house work. Any of those people could be calling 911.
Another moment like this is the one where Sid gets attacked in the washroom. A lot of people take that to be Billy given the fight they've just had in the hallway, but the timing of the scene seems to follow directly after that fight. Sid walks away from him, so if she's walking directly to the washroom he's behind her, how is he going to get into the washroom and hide in on of those stalls without her noticing if he has to come in after her? This also just seems unnecessarily risky for him, given how cautious he is otherwise.
I prefer the idea that this attack isn't actually a real ghostface, it's one of the ghostface copycats we see running around (one of the two dudes we see Himbry disciplining). In the original script the scene in the washroom comes directly after Billy and Sid's fight in the hallway, with the scene of Himbry yelling at the two fake ghostfaces following after the washroom instead of the hallway fight. To me this suggests that at least in the original script, these two likely got caught harassing Sid in the washroom and thats what Himbry is disciplining them for. I really don't know why the order of those shots was changed for the movie.
(side note could these dudes be more intentionally Billy and Stu coded? Lmao like my man on the left is literally wearing Billy's same plaid shirt)
Also as a side note- some people use the matching shoes as evidence that it was Billy in the washroom, but the movie deliberately shows us that several people have those shoes, one of the others being Sheriff Burke. These shoes are actually a red herring, so we can't use them as evidence.
So yeah basically some of what I would change is the order of certain scenes. I also wouldn't mind a better indication of the timing of things, some clocks in the background of certain shots would go a long way for me. I also would have liked for the movie to do a better job laying out the geography of Stu's house, so that we know where everything is in relation to everything else before the chase. I just think that works better for a movie like this with multiple moving parts.
Oooh another big one for me is the call that Randy gets to let him know Himbry has been killed. Who does he think is calling him like that? Why are they calling the house? It obviously has to be Stu, Billy has his hands full ( 💀 ) and it would be too much of a risk to bet that people in the house would find out in time to clear out when they need them too. Basically I just think the writing of that moment could be improved, but I also think it's likely written way it is because Himbry's death scene was a later addition pushed for by executives who thought the movie needed a higher body count.
Final thing I can think of (and its pedantic as hell) is that some of Randy's movie references don't make sense. Calling Billy Leather face? Bringing up Prom Night to argue that the killer isn't Sid's dad (when the killer in prom night is a relative of the original victim)? It would be fine if the movie was pointing out Randy as being a little full of shit but the franchise positions him as the Movie Guy who knows all the Movie Stuff, so they should at least make his references work better.
Lmao ok, thats probably enough, i've written an essay. Possible there's more I would switch up but thats the stuff that comes to mind right now!
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gmmtv 2024 part 2 trailers first impression & ranking :)
from most excited for to least excited:
us: I SCREAMED!!! of course gl ranks number one, let's bffr, but legit this looks so indie & good I love it! sing is gonna be so good at being the abandoned lover hahaha, and the girls have so much chemistry & are so cute!!! I ship it already <3
breakup service: I did NOT expect to get an off as MAIN in a straight romcom again after 4 fucking years, I'm beyond elated!!! the fact that he's paired with a very popular singer also makes me happy! the plot looks really fun & reminds me of catch me baby and midnight motel so I'm all in!!! my man deserves this sm <3
hide & sis: gawin in a role like this??? ATE DOWN!!! but honestly the whole cast is perfect, I can't believe we're gonna get pepper & lookjun playing an on-screen couple! I hope this one is more like ps: I hate you & nothing like the jungle but I'm super excited I love everyone here :)
the ex morning: bruh if you'd have told a kristsingto show would be 4th on this list I would've laughed in your face but... tell me why this plot seems so fucking cute?? I feel like we haven't gotten this type of second chance bl before, and idk if it's nostalgia or what but I'm actually really into it lol
thame po: yooooo this morning I could not picture estwilliam together, but actually I like them a lot already! as a lykn fan I'm happy to see them in a series, and the plot is quite original which is becoming more & more rare so I'm excited!
sweet tooth, good dentist: I still don't know how to fully feel about mark & ohm t, I feel like they look way too similar, but oh well. this looks very sweet (like its title) & y'all know I love dumb romcoms like these so I'll be watching!
leap day: this looks insane & the cast feels random af but it seems interesting! I hope it doesn't end up being one of those shows who thought throwing gun & his insane talent in a show would be enough to cover its bad writing *cough* home school *cough* midnight museum *cough* excited to see pond in an interesting role for once though lmao
the dark dice: this looks like the thai high school squid game to me, it seems interesting & I love that aungpao is in here, but I'll have to see how I feel once the show starts airing to see if I'll watch it or not.
scarlet heart thailand: this teaser told me nothing so I googled the original, ngl it's a slay for tu she looks so pretty, and I do love historical shows so I'll probably be watching! also very happy to see tay, force & phuwin here :)
friendshit forever: I legit thought I was gonna get a mookpat gl bruh lmaoooooo, but nope instead I get girls fighting over a dude ;_; like I get it new is hot af but bruh in 2024 we still have girls having cat fights... I'm good :/ the title is hilarious though :')
ossan's love thailand: this trailer actually made me happy bc contrarily to my initial thought I think earth is ADORABLE as haruta! and the actor they chose to play the ossan??? DAMNNN DADDY 😏 probably still won't be watching since I hate remakes but this looks better than I anticipated!
the heart killers: call me a hater but I did not feel this at all, I feel like it's a more boring mix of not me, only friends & midnight motel and I don't particularly care for either ships so I will not be watching... I'm sure this show will be fine without me though lol
perfect 10 liners: we are but even more boring, they even pulled up aouboom & marcpoon LMAOOO. again all love but I don't care for this at all, it's so basic I can't do this to myself anymore, I'm sorry it's called self-care at this point :')
revamp the undead story: again I don't care for bounprem & THE gmmtv vampire show is my golden blood for me babe, like sorry but jossgawin forever 🫶 (more seriously this doesn't look bad but I simply do not give any fuck to watch this show)
#axelle rants#gmmtv 2024 part 2#us the series#break up service#hide and sis#the ex morning#thame po#sweet tooth good dentist#leap day#the dark dice#scarlet heart thailand#friendshit forever#ossan's love thailand#the heart killers#perfect 10 liners#revamp the undead story#it started really slow but we got some good ones in the process... especially hyped for my babies off & gawin ofc :)
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Eleutheria
or The Exit Part II
皿 Pairing: Jeon Jeongguk × OC (Park Sowon) (reader) / Jung Hoseok × OC (Lee Ji-a)
皿 Genre: Horror; Angst
皿 Trope: speculative horror, supernatural au, established relationship
皿 Word Count: 27.7k+ [sorry (^人^)]
皿 Trigger Warning: description of demonic entity, loss of loved ones, anxiety, injury, suffocating environment, deception, death
皿 Rating:PG13
皿 Banner: apotatomashedbybts
皿 Beta Reader: @theharrowing [my darlingest, Harrow! No matter how much I thank you it won't be enough! Thank you for being so patient with this piece and helping me bringing it to how it is now! Thank you for leaving so many compliments and reactions throughout the story and for putting up with my queries! They mean the world to me! And I feel like I haven't told you enough how amazing you are! Thank you for being the absolutely amazingest! Love you (づ ̄3 ̄)づ╭❤️~]
皿 Disclaimer: This is a complete work of fiction. Just go with the flow, baby~
皿 Author's Note (I): It's finally here! Omg! It took me so long to complete this part... And idk if I should be proud or embarrassed to say that this isn't the end. There will be multiple chapters coming! Honestly, when I started writing this part I thought the entire story will end in this BUT the more I thought about this story the more it extended, more characters appeared, the story in my head got kinda complicated (?) So I thought I must write whatever's hotchpotch cooking inside my hot head! And it feels like it's just the beginning.
皿 Author's Note (II): It'd mean the world to me if you not only like but also REBLOG and let me know about your thoughts on this! ♡(˃͈ દ ˂͈ ༶ ). Your feedback gives me the motivation to keep on writing ✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧ I would love to hear any thoughts! Even if it's an incoherent screech or just a "nice"!
皿 Taglist: @here2bbtstrash ; @sahazzy ; @minisugakoobies ; @sailoryoons ; @kiara-ish
皿 Crosspost: AO3 | Wattpad
皿 Sketches for better understanding: The Sketches
皿 Series Navigation: The Exit ⇰ Eleutheria ⇰ The Balam Manor (Upcoming)
皿 Summary: Jungkook not reaching home when he was supposed to doesn't sit right with you. You set out in search of him, only to find yourself in a mysterious manor with even more mysterious people who somehow don't seem too willing to let you go.
You couldn't shake off the uneasy feeling since you last talked to Jeongguk.
The network on the main road remains intact throughout the way. So it was weird that there was a network disruption even when the weather was fine.
Your mom and step-father tried to reason that things like these can happen sometimes and told you to just accept the odds. But it was too much of an odd that you couldn't connect to him once even after trying his number innumerable times and that he hadn’t arrived even by dawn when it hardly takes half an hour to forty-five minutes from where Jeongguk last called you - De Ville's Crest.
Being a detective, you had seen the worst of what not taking action in time could do to a person. So without wasting any more time you took your car and went out to search for Jeongguk as soon as dawn gave into its first moment of morning.
After getting out of the De Ville’s Crest, you continued to drive on the main road towards the city.
Throughout the way you looked for any sign of accidents and to your relief there weren’t any.
Asking each and every store and commercial places on the way didn’t give you any desired answers either.
It generally takes about two and a half hours from De Ville’s Crest to reach the junction but today it took you almost four hours.
The grocery store at the junction of the main road and the shortcut, which barely anyone used, to The Moore Estate, caught your attention.
You had been traveling on this road as far as your memory took you back, but in those memories there was never a grocery store like this in this lonely intersection.
If it wasn’t for the board hung up on top of the door saying “Taehyung Groceries”, you would have mistaken it for a greenhouse with its clean glass exterior that sparkled in sunlight and the numerous plants inside that made the products kept inside hard to notice.
That’s a rather fancy grocery store. You thought to yourself.
But what intrigued you the most to approach the store were the CCTV cameras placed outside the store — one facing the main road and one to the shortcut.
Maybe one of them caught something…
You stopped your car in front of the store and went inside in hopes of getting some information.
The air that greeted you upon entering carried a subtle scent of fresh rain and the forest at dawn that you sometimes visited with your step-dad, mixed with a light soothing scent of sandalwood incense and you found it extremely easy to breathe, as if you could sense the air get in and out of you.
Behind the counter you saw an old lady who looked 60-something. With a soft smile adorning her face she almost looked like she was glowing in her white full sleeve cotton shirt, white straight-leg trousers and white straight hair that flowed effortlessly reaching her hips.
As soon as you crossed the threshold you heard her say, voice just above a whisper, “You are here!”
“Sorry?” You asked, surprised at her unusual greeting.
“Nothing, my dear. Tell me what you want.” She smiled and walked out from behind the counter.
You were quick to accept her explanation as you didn't have any patience to ponder about a greeting that she might have uttered whimsically.
Hurriedly taking out your phone you showed her a picture of Jeongguk and asked, “Can you please tell me if you have seen him some time yesterday?”
She took the phone from your hand and looked at it with squinted eyes for a couple seconds and then while passing it to you she said, “Oh my! Yes! I saw this gentleman yesterday. He bought a bottle of water from me a little after midnight. He asked me about the shortcut to The Moore Estate.”
Your eyes looked hopeful for the first time since last night but it was quick to give up that glint as soon as you heard about the shortcut.
“Are you sure that he actually took the shortcut?” You enquired, trying to hold on to the possibility of him not actually taking it.
The old lady pondered for a couple seconds before replying, “Well, we can always check the CCTV footage.”
“Really? Can you please check? That would really help me a lot!” You exclaimed, both hopeful and grateful.
“Of course. Why not?” The old lady answered and went back to her counter where her computer was.
After a couple minutes of impatient waiting, you got called and you almost ran the short distance.
The footage was from the CCTV facing the shortcut and it was showing Jeongguk’s car entering the shortcut at around 12:30 am. The footage wasn’t able to record much since it seemed like as soon as Jeongguk’s car entered that foreboding road it was swallowed by an impenetrable darkness.
You covered your face that contorted in fear and helplessness. Your legs felt like jelly. As if sensing that the lady offered you a tool to sit down.
“Why? Why does this keep happening to me?” You whimpered.
The strange string of incidents surrounding you resulting in the disappearance of your loved ones seemed to pull you at the throat, keeping you suffocated.
First your dad, then your best friend Hoseok, and now Jeongguk.
You felt like you were stuck in a terrible horror game and you were failing every level.
The shortcut was famously infamous for being one of the creepiest and most dangerous areas in the state. And only people who didn't know about this route’s fame went in it.
There had been numerous reports of people going missing over the years after taking this road at night.
The authorities tried to investigate the place in search of potential criminal activities behind missing persons but found none — adding to its reputation.
But what terrified you the most was your dad's repeated warning that still echoed in your ears, “Never ever take the shortcut to The Moore Estate at night. Not even in your dreams.”
Thinking about your dad's ceaseless warnings and what could have happened to your boyfriend, your head felt light.
“If I hurry I can still stop something bad from happening to him, right?” You thought and got up to leave.
But the lady held your hand and said with that kind smile intact on her face, “You are my first customer today and it’s time for breakfast, you must be hungry. Have some sandwiches before you leave.”
She was right. No matter how much of an emotional wreckage you were, your body had its demands and the low grumble in your stomach was a definite whistle-blower.
You sat down obediently and the lady brought two fluffy egg and bacon sandwiches on a plate for you. You told yourself that you must shove these down your throat and get going but these were hands down the best sandwiches you ever had, and God knew how hard you were trying not to relish on the taste or the relaxation that spread throughout your frazzled back instantly after you took the first bite.
As you were paying for the food and taking back the change in the counter, the lady asked, “Are you going to find your boyfriend?”
“Yes! I must hurry.” You nodded.
The fact that you didn't mention to her about Jeongguk being your boyfriend had totally gone out of your mind. You also brushed off the fact that she used ‘find’ instead of ‘search’ in her question.
She lightly caressed your hair with a single stroke and smiled, “I hope you do. Here take this,” saying so, she handed you what seemed like a cookie the size of your palm, wrapped in a bluish silver wrapper, “for when you need it. This is on the house so don’t worry about paying. Now off you go.”
Maybe it was because of the overpowering soft glow of hers that prevented you from noticing her eyes thus far which were so deeply pain-stricken that you couldn’t help but hug her and mentally said, “Everything’s going to be fine.”
You wondered why you even said that when you should be the one to be told that instead.
The lady gently patted your head and you felt a gentle whisper inside your head, “I know.”
You couldn’t pinpoint but something about that and her hug cooled your nerves.
Thanking her for the info and the food, you hurried outside and sped into the forbidding shortcut.
The sun was bright above your head and you have been driving for almost an hour now at your topmost speed. But you hadn't come across any turning. The road went straight ahead without branching.
After another hour of driving you reached The Moore Estate, without noticing anything unusual.
I must be doing something wrong.
You let out a frustrated sigh and ran your hand through your hair while turning your car around and starting again towards the road that you came from.
But you were left disappointed again when even after reaching back at the junction you couldn't find the turning or any sign of Jeongguk's car.
Stopping your car at the junction, you lowered your head on the steering wheel and tried to clear your mind.
Then as if suddenly having an epiphany a memory from eleven years ago played inside your head.
Due to an emergency at home, your dad was taking you home from your boarding school late at night. You were fifteen then.
Time in hand was short so your dad had decided to take the shortcut. You faintly remembered seeing a gas station but what you clearly remembered now was what your dad had said after crossing them at a speed of 130 km/hr.
While keeping his sharp eyes on the road and never going down under the speed of 100, your dad had told you, “Do you wanna know a fun fact? Did you see that gas station that we crossed a while ago? It only appears after midnight. In the daytime you can never see it.”
You remembered your dad’s tear laden face with which he had made you promise, “Promise me, you'll never take the shortcut after midnight! And even if you do, you won't stop anywhere in the middle. And no matter what happens, you won't take the road to Devil's Crest!”
Even though you didn't believe him back then, counting it as his way to scare you, you never took the shortcut - until today.
And before the curious-you could ask him about what he said that night, your dad had disappeared from your life without a trace.
“I am sorry dad. I have to break the promise today. I have to find Jeongguk.” You whispered as you felt your tears trying to push their way out of your throat.
Shaking off the sadness and the tears from your eyes, a technique that you had learned from Jeongguk and had countlessly teased him about, you looked at the time - it was 2 pm.
You had 10 hours in hand.
You closed your eyes to think. You have to utilise the time properly and so you decided to go back home and come back with a few things that might come in handy.
After reaching home, needless to say that you were bombarded with questions.
You couldn't tell them that you would have explained everything to them if things were that easily explainable. But it wasn't, so you just told them to trust you and that you were going to find him.
The last bit seemed like a reassurance to yourself. You were not sure if what you were thinking was right or not. But you ardently hoped it was.
Packing your bag with warm clothes for both you and Jeongguk, a power bank for your phone, a strong fully charged flashlight, several water bottles, a first aid kit, your fully loaded desert eagle gun, and a compass, you started on your journey to find Jeongguk after having dinner.
When you reached the junction, it was already dark and the moon was in the middle of the sky.
The almost full moon was enthralling and you couldn't help but sigh and pray to it to look after Jeongguk and help you find him as quickly as possible.
As night turned into midnight the number of vehicles on the main road decreased exponentially. The coldness started to settle onto the ground more rapidly and the surroundings were gradually getting abandoned by the signs of the city. The only trace of human civilization was the dim light coming from the old lady's grocery store.
It was time to go but just before you were about to start your engine, your stomach growled loudly.
You clicked your tongue disapprovingly and with a short sigh opened your bag to look for some snacks, but were quick to curse yourself when you realised that you had forgotten to pack any.
But just then you remembered the cookie that the old lady had given you. You thanked her mentally and opened it. Was it your eyes playing tricks or did the dim light of the grocery store shine brighter for a second before going dim again?
The cookie was big - enough to defeat your hunger for now. The aroma of it was instantly appetising and after you tasted it, you regretted not getting more from her. You didn’t know whether it was just your luck or a weird coincidence that the cookie tasted of your favourite flavours — butter, orange, cashew — mixed to perfect ratio. But now there wasn't any time. So you quickly started munching on it.
When you reached the middle of it you found a piece of paper inside and exclaimed, “Ah! So it's a fortune cookie!”
Putting the rest of the cookie in your mouth in one go, you started reading it in the car light.
The writing was written in golden block letters on a black paper and it read —
WHEN ROADS ARE MISLEADING AND FALSE WORDS ARE SPOKEN
IN THE RULING DARKNESS SOMEONE'S TREASURED THING MUST BE BROKEN
“Hmm...?” You were confused. It seemed more like a riddle than a fortune.
You read it a couple times more and then kept it in your cargo trouser pocket with a shrug because you couldn't understand what it could mean.
Before starting your engine you looked at the moon and prayed, “Please dad, look after Jeongguk for me while I get there.”
•••
The road was unsettlingly dark and your car headlights couldn't pierce further than a foot through it.
The moonlight that was brightening the surroundings with its light just a while ago seemed to have disappeared. You couldn't even see the moon anymore.
As if it was a sign that you have entered the forbidden shortcut now.
You drove really slow in order to avoid hitting something.
And after driving for about twenty minutes you saw it - the gas station.
Your fuel meter's arrow was almost near empty even though you had filled it full near the junction just before leaving.
Your brows knitted themselves together but you decided not to stop. More so because you remembered your dad’s warning. You didn’t have any business in there anyways.
While driving past it you saw a lanky old man standing at the edge of the gas station as if waiting for you to enter. And when you crossed past it you saw him in the side mirror of your car - staring right at the mirror.
You felt like he was staring right back at you as if he knew you were looking at him.
You felt a chilly feeling run right through your spine and you pressed onto the accelerator to get out of the vicinity of the station as soon as possible.
Has the road always been this long?
Your doubtful gaze wandered over to your phone and you saw that it was almost 3 in the morning; that meant you had been driving for nearly three hours now.
You were supposed to reach The Moore Estate by this time but you couldn't seem to get out of this seemingly never ending dark road.
Another strange occuring caught your eyes that you had forgotten all this while - your fuel. The arrow which was near the empty mark near the gas station was now hovering in the near full section, right where it should be.
Was it your eyes playing a trick with you again or was it really a deception caused by the negative entities present there to make one enter the gas station, you wondered.
Fearing that you might miss the turning again you slowed down even more and stopped yourself from zoning out, but just then your phone alarm went off making you jump. You had forgotten that you had set an alarm at 3:03 am - when Jeongguk had called you.
And then you saw it - Devil's Crest.
An arrow-shaped wooden signboard with the name etched on it in a deep red colour, that almost gave the impression of dried blood on rotten wood, was pointing towards a road that had magically branched, creating a turning — leading to an obscurity.
You stopped your car and took a deep breath. A few slow breaths later, the fear of encountering something vicious began to settle on your shoulders.
The repeated voice of your father telling – “never take the road to Devil's Crest, never take the road to Devil's Crest” – began to reverberate inside your head so loudly that you had to sit down, hold your head and pray for it to go away.
Why now? Why now of all times? You felt miserable as tears started wetting your lashes.
Jeongguk! You have to find Jeongguk! You slapped your ears in an attempt to make the voice go away and started taking deep slow breaths to calm yourself down.
That seemed to work and a few minutes later the voices inside your head had died down.
Parking your car off the road, you took your backpack and with the flashlight in your hand you stood in front of the signboard.
The road ahead was iniquitously eerie, and not to mention, dark just like the rest of the area. It made you uneasy and your legs revolted to move.
You took out the phone from your pocket to see the time but just then something fell off - it was the paper from the cookie.
You picked it up and in the flashlight you read it again instinctively -
WHEN ROADS ARE MISLEADING AND FALSE WORDS ARE SPOKEN
IN THE RULING DARKNESS SOMEONE'S TREASURED THING MUST BE BROKEN
“When roads are misleading... Never take the road to Devil's Crest…” you mumbled a couple times. Something told you that these two sentences juxtaposing like this was not a mere coincidence and that there must be some connection and intention behind them.
“What could it be? What could it be?” You asked yourself and swung the flashlight haphazardly around the road and then your eyes and your flashlight loosely hovered over the overgrown bushes and the trees by the side of the road to Devil's Crest and you thought,
What if I don't take the road and still enter the Devil's Crest?
As soon as the thought crossed your mind, your legs felt light and a small amount of fear transformed into relief.
You made your way through the overgrown weeds and grasses in between the trees and thought to go on a parallel line along the road but as soon as you struggled your way through the undergrowth and entered the woods you couldn't see the road anymore, as if you had mistakenly entered a whole different area.
You went back to where you entered and there you saw the Devil's Crest turning and the road. There was no way you were mistaken.
“It must be because of the darkness,” you told yourself and re-entered the doomy forest.
You stood there for a moment, worried that it’s going to be difficult to reach the destination, no matter how unknown, if you couldn’t see the road. What if you get lost in this darkness without any way out?
But this awry feeling at the back of your mind telling you that this was the only way was too heavy, and so with the flashlight being the only source of light, you started walking straight ahead.
You have been walking for a while now and except the occasional hooting of the owls and a constant chirping of the crickets there was nothing to keep you company.
You didn't know where exactly to look at since this indomitable darkness was swallowing the light of your flashlight which resulted in you seeing only about a foot around your steps, nothing more.
You called out Jeongguk's name constantly at regular intervals but with your calls dissipating in the woods, what came back to you as a reply was the annoyed chirps of the sleepy birds.
You avoided swinging your flashlight around the woods in fear of witnessing something scary and you cursed your brain for reminding you all the countless horror movies you have ever watched right at the moment.
Disappointed and tired, you stopped for a water break and looked at the time. You had been walking for 45 minutes now and with you walking slowly because of the protruding branches and thorns grabbing onto your pants, there seemed to be little to no progress. You looked up and the moon and the stars were still absent, the sky was still black.
Refusing to give up or take a break you dragged yourself forward with slow steps, on an energy saving mode.
But then you saw it. Clearly. You were not surrounded by darkness anymore. You had reached a clearing from whose center four clear trails were going four ways and everything was grey, like a black-and-white movie. The moonlight illuminating the area after appearing so suddenly took you by surprise, making you come to an abrupt stop.
You rubbed your eyes and looked back where you just came out from — it was still lightless.
Everything around you seemed like something from a fever dream.
I haven’t fallen asleep in the car, have I? You pinched yourself hard and you felt it quite realistically.
What the fuck is this place? You glanced around while rubbing the area you pinched.
Up until you were inside the forest area it smelled like any other woodland - a little musty and damp, rotten woods, several sweet fragrance coming from trees and moist earth. But as soon as you stepped into this part there was a drastic change in the odour. It smelt like cold steel and it set a little heavier on your nose. And then you noticed another weird thing in this already weird environment — a crossroad signpost with four wooden arrows pointing at four different directions making an X, where the trails met.
Generally, a crossroad signpost at an intersection was something that is very very normal. But here, what made it strange was its heads not pointing towards the trails, instead the areas in between.
You took a deep breath and walked over to the post. You looked at it intently with your flashlight. They were simple wood cutouts with nothing written on them.
What are they even pointing at? You directed your flashlight at the grassy areas and each one of the trails. The trails were wide enough for three people to walk side by side and their condition indicated that they were used for regular commute.
Something felt off. As far as you knew, people avoided taking the shortcut altogether. As far as its bad reputation goes, it seemed highly unlikely that there would be people using these isolated areas to travel. Also, the part of the forest that you came out from didn’t have a trail going in its direction. You were standing in one of the grassy areas just like the areas in between the other trails. That could also mean that one of these trails was connected to the road to the Devil’s Crest for it to at least take the travellers somewhere closer in this area.
Earlier, just before entering the forest you had checked on your needle compass that the road to the Devil’s Crest was headed south. It was a complete wild guess, an arrow in the darkness, but you decided to take the trail that was headed south.
You took out your compass from your jacket pocket and faced the southward trail.
This should be fine, right? You took a long deep breath that made your shoulder go up and down.
You stared at the road ahead but a heavy feeling in your gut made your body immobile. It made your heart scream to your mind, “I don’t wanna go there.” Your body was stiffening itself in its place, refusing to move forward — an instinctive stance to avoid whatever danger that might be lying ahead.
You didn’t know how many minutes had passed with you just standing there. As if to give you a nudge, a chilly wind started to blow and a gauzy fog began to settle on the ground.
To avoid the cold you hung the flashlight on your shoulder by its strings and put both your hands in your puffer jacket pocket.
Inside your jacket pocket you found the wrapper of the cookie that you ate earlier. You took it out and as soon as you did a gust of wind blew it out of your hand.
The wrapper, oddly shining in this dull grey environment, flew over to the grassy area to the left side of the southward trail. Along with the wind, the still-motionless fog began to mobilise. Instinctively you dashed towards the wrapper, passing the crossroad signpost, to retrieve it. But before that, for a split second you were quite certain that you noticed the fog through your peripheral vision floating on the trails, mobilized by the wind, moving towards where the trails lead to and there was no trace of them on the rest of the areas.
After grabbing the wrapper you turned around to confirm what you just saw but what you witnessed made you falter backward and you tripped on your own foot and fell on the ground.
I must be going crazy! What in the Alice In Wonderland shit is this?
You broke into a cold sweat. You felt the remaining energy from your body leave like a sheet that was covering you, gliding away from you. You were nothing but an object now.
And your surroundings were nothing but empty now.
It was as if in those past fraction of seconds you weren’t looking, someone had erased everything — there was no crosspost signboard, neither were there any trails. It was just a vast field covered in small grasses, all nothing but grey.
Sitting there you forgot that you had to be somewhere. Your numb brain couldn’t say anything to your body and you sat there staring blankly at the now-empty space in front of you. You could hear a faint constant ringing inside your ears and a slow darkness gradually took over your eyes.
A yellow light on your eyelids, shivers all over your body and the noise of accumulated chirping made you sit up with a startle. Still heavy with sleep, you rubbed your eyes to wake yourself up properly.
The first rays of the sun were just touching the area and you discovered the reason behind your shivers. You were sleeping on the ground, under the open sky and needless to say the dews had settled upon you alongside everything.
You looked around your surroundings - it was the same field that you saw before passing out, except it was now full of colour. The steel-like smell was long gone, instead the air was filled with the smell of wet grass. The sun rays fell upon the dark green leafy trees of the forest that surrounded the field covered in grasses, some plump green, many golden yellow and a few parched brown. Flocks of birds flew across the sky in search of food and the wetness under you seeping through your clothes was making its presence more prominent to you.
The normality of it all made you question whether what you witnessed just a few hours ago was even real. Maybe you had dreamt all of it, you wondered. And that made more sense to you. It definitely was a dream, you concluded. You had been traveling all day and night yesterday without any proper rest and the constant anxiety, along with the trip through the forest must have taken a toll on you.
Lying down for such a long time in such an uncomfortable position on your side with the haversack still on your back had made your body sore. You took off the haversack and stretched your limbs and massaged your shoulders to make some of the soreness go away. Rubbing your face to remove the leftover haziness from your mind, you got up to get a better view of your surroundings. You were on a comparatively higher ground, which merged to a plain with a gentle slope and you noticed in the far south which seemed hardly a kilometre away from where you were — a mansion built in the old English style.
“Have I wandered into someone’s private property?” You wondered, even though you were pretty sure you hadn’t noticed any warnings or boundaries on your way here.
Many people didn’t like strangers wandering inside their property and the residents of this mansion could very possibly be one of those, but in this situation your best shot was to risk the chance of getting kicked out with profanities and ask about your missing boyfriend, a way out of this forest to some nearby locality and if they were kind enough, then a moment’s proper rest.
You put on your haversack and picked up the flashlight that was lying on the ground, luckily unscathed, by your side.
The valley was uneven like waves which could go unnoticed unless walked on, making it strenuous to cross, but the weather in the morning was really soothing, which made you feel like everything was gonna be alright, and occasionally you stopped to take a brief breather by soaking in the sun with your eyes closed.
Before your clothes could dry up in the breeze on the way, you found yourself standing in front of the main gate of the mansion.
The mansion, even though built in the old English style, hardly seemed historic. It was well-cared with a similarly pampered garden.
The latch of the iron gate was unclasped and a stone slab to the right of the gate on the low boundary wall read - The Balam Manor.
You felt like you had heard the name somewhere before but you couldn’t trigger that particular part of your memory.
“Sorry for the intrusion,” you whispered before letting yourself in through the gate.
Another sixty metres walk and you were in front of the main door. It had one of those ropes attached with a bell system instead of electronic doorbells.
You took a deep breath and rang the bell thrice and for the next several minutes you stood there with rapid tapping feets and drifting eyes.
A very tall old man opened the door who you could swear to have seen somewhere before. You looked up and stared at his face trying to figure out this odd sense of knowing but you were soon pulled out of your rigorous digging through your brain by his question, “Yes? How may I help you?”
“I am sorry for disturbing your perfect morning, good sir, but actually I have come looking for someone and I was wondering if you have seen that person somewhere.” You smiled awkwardly and hoped for your flattery to work to a certain extent.
The old man scanned you once from head to toe then back to your eyes. Then turning his neck to give a quick glance inside he turned back to you and replied, “Please wait a second. I’ll be right back.”
Hardly a minute had passed before he came back and he said, “Please take your footwear off and come inside. Our ladyship has permitted you to be invited in.”
Wow… I never thought I would hear this type of sentence in real life. Do I have to talk like that too? You thought but all you could really say was - thank you.
The old man led you through a short hallway whose walls were decked out with paintings varying in sizes but all equally gorgeous and weirdly had the same theme — water.
Midway through the hall room there were two majestic curved staircases leading to the first floor, merging into one platform overhead.
You were guided into a large lavish living room crossing the staircases, which justified the mansion of such grace. The theme colour of the room was dark navy which adorned the couches, the fireplace, the walls, the curtains and was perfectly balanced with hints of gold and light brown.
You were mesmerized and couldn’t stop admiring the space you had entered with your mouth agape.
“Please take a seat. Her grace will be here shortly.” Saying that, the old man disappeared into the right wing hallway of the house.
You nodded and sat there with fidgety fingers but your eyes were still busy praising all the ornate stuff decorated meticulously.
The room, greatly flooded with sunlight seeping in through the large windows, somehow smelt cold, as if the window was just opened prior to your entrance. But soon it was overcome by the smell of a perfume that felt like a lot of flowers mixed together, almost too sweet for your delicate nose, that seemed to have drifted in earlier than its owner could.
With the mystery not remaining in hiding any longer, the owner appeared from the right hallway and you found yourself immediately standing up in the presence of an overpowering aura.
The lady, standing almost at a height of 6ft, was wearing a solid black mermaid gown with a side-buttoned velvet blazer that hugged her slim torso so firmly that it seemed to be doing the work of a corset instead. Her black hair was made into a 50s starlet style and her makeup, in contrast to all the darkness in her dress-up, was light peachy.
You thought it would be rude to cover your nose in front of her but the smell of the flowers was almost dizzying. Then a second smell hit you. It was of burnt wood. It was lingering subtly in the air and there was no way for you to know where it was coming from.
The lady gestured you to sit down and she herself sat on the single seater sofa opposite to you.
“I heard from Duri that you came here looking for someone?”
“Yes. Let me first apologise for inconveniencing you like this. A complete stranger showing up at your doorstep early in the morning must be bothersome.”
“Oh, not at all. We get visitors once in a blue moon. So seeing new faces around here is actually a treat for us old souls.”
Her amicable mood made you feel relieved and your shoulders relaxed visibly.
“Us old souls? Ma’am, you are far too young to be called an old soul.” Your compliment made her blush.
She smiled shyly and said, “Then I guess my makeup is on point today.”
You opened your mouth to protest with some more compliments but she started talking.
“So who are you looking for? We actually might be of some help.”
With hopeful eyes, you briefly told her about your boyfriend going missing on his way to Moore estate and how you had been searching for him. Intentionally you kept all the help and the supernatural things to yourself.
“We may have good news for you. We rescued a young man yesterday around dawn at the border of our property. Would you like to visit him and see if he is the boyfriend you mentioned?” The lady asked you with a sympathetic tone.
You jumped at the possibility and stood up, “Yes! Please! Let me see him.”
“Sure.” The lady stood up. “Follow me.” Saying so, she started walking towards the left hallway from the entrance. You followed her gliding steps. She stopped in front of the last room, and with a quick yet heavy exhale she opened the door.
You entered behind her and rushed to the king size bed when she made way for you.
It was Jeongguk. It really was Jeongguk. He was lying on the bed on his back with the lower half of his body covered in a comforter. He had a white cotton henley shirt with lace string on which you recognised wasn’t his. He was breathing slowly and he had a bandage going around his head which ran through the middle of his forehead.
You sat by his side on the floor and held his hand. You couldn’t begin to express how grateful you were. The heavy stone in your heart was finally melting and you gave in to the urge of crying that you had been holding since yesterday.
“Thank you. Thank you for being here.” Holding his right hand, you rubbed it gently against your forehead and placed a long kiss on it.
Seeing no response from him, worry started to settle in your mind again. You turned towards the lady and asked, “Excuse me, ma’am, what happened to him? Why isn’t he responding?”
“Oh dear.” The lady briskly walked towards you and reached out her hand towards you. You took a few seconds to grasp what she was trying to do and then you slowly placed your hand in hers and let her guide you up towards the small couch that was seated beside the window of the room.
Sitting so close to her, the burning smell along with the stinging flowery scent hit your nose brutally. You let out a quick cough to ease that squeezing feeling around you.
She held your hand in a sympathetic manner and began to explain, “Yesterday dawn, at around 4 am, Duri found him near our border property in the far south. He was unconscious which seemed to have resulted from him driving straight into a tree ahead. Duri brought him to our home immediately. We have an in-house doctor who treated him but he hasn’t regained consciousness since. The doctor has informed us that he is out of any life-threatening danger. He just needs to regain his consciousness. So don’t worry. He is doing better than you are giving him credit for.”
She smiled at you but you couldn’t help but feel anxious. You glanced at Jeongguk for a mere second and asked, “Wouldn’t it be better to take him to a hospital now instead of just waiting? I am sorry. I am not trying to undermine your doctor’s judgment but it’s just that a hospital seems to be a more efficient option. So if you don’t mind, please can you tell your attendants to show me where Jeongguk’s car is? I think it'd be better if I get going right now.”
The room was dimly lit by a candle lamp and the sunlight was playing hide and seek with the room by seeping in through the heavily drawn curtains which were slowly quivering because of the wind trying to get inside from outside.
In that flickering light you felt like you saw the lady’s face harden for a split second before easing into an almost condescending smile, “Oh dear, you mustn’t have properly heard what I was saying earlier. I can understand. Grief, anxiety, stress do that to people. His car had driven straight ahead into a tree so it’s severely damaged. A mechanic is currently working on it in one of our warehouses.”
“Then can I at least use your phone to call an ambulance? I think that’d be an even better option anyway. He’ll start getting treatment on the way.”
“We don’t have cellular networks here. Neither do we have a landline connection. You must have noticed that there are no electric wires near our mansion. In case of emergencies, Duri himself has to go and bring back any expert needed. I am afraid we live an exceptionally solitary life. If we had a car we could have arranged for his transportation at the earliest hour but as you can tell we are very old fashioned so we only use horses and carriages which I daresay is not the best option to have him ride on in this condition. I would suggest you to save your worry and hope that his car gets repaired soon. I’ll leave you be until then.”
The lady, without sparing another glance, walked out of the room, leaving you wondering if you said something that offended her greatly.
You couldn’t understand why this household would choose to live in such helpless conditions when the world has progressed so much. What if there was a life or death situation? They wouldn’t even be able to get some help.
You sighed heavily and dragging a chair you sat near Jeongguk. You thought it would be best to just wait for his car to get repaired then get out of here as soon as possible. The people here had already gone out of their way for your boyfriend. It was rude of you to question and tell them what would be better when they were already doing their best with everything at their disposal.
You held your boyfriend’s hand, which felt colder than it did a moment ago and said, “I should say sorry, right? I’ll be right back.”
You placed a chaste kiss on his hand and pulled the comforter upto his neck before leaving the room to look for the lady of the house and also for the doctor; Jeongguk’s temperature wasn’t normal.
The living room was empty. In fact, you didn’t get the hint of anybody being present throughout your way. You felt like you were the only one in the entire mansion.
There was an eerie feeling that sat in your gut and just to confirm that weird suspicion, you ran back to the room where Jeongguk was. You let out a quick relieved sigh as soon as you saw Jeongguk, just as you had left him.
You let your body let itself find comfort in the cushiony chair and you decided to look for others a little later. You told yourself that no matter how detached this place was from the rest of the world, the people living here still have work to do. They couldn’t loiter around some unannounced guest all the time.
•••
Meanwhile, in the kitchen, the atmosphere was quite grim for Lady Ruth Livingston and her loyal servant Duri.
This kitchen was located in an extended part of the mansion, outside the main building and could only be accessed through a secret passage built along the rear side wall of the building. Apparently, according to her husband, Mr. Yi Jaejoong, kitchen inside a home ruins the vibe of the home. The secret passageway, while serving as a regular route for the servants for accessing the different parts of the manor like the kitchens, the laundry rooms and the servant quarters, also served the role of an escapeway and had a backdoor for emergency exit if there was any danger. Although, there was no way of telling the back door from the outside since it was camouflaged with the entire wall — much like the windows that were lined up with the windows of the main living room, creating optical illusions of a singular wall in place of two.
After leaving you alone inside the mansion, Lady Ruth had immediately made her way towards the kitchen with a grave expression on her face. As soon as she neared the kitchen, Duri, who was preparing meat for jjigae, brought the cushioned mahogany chair that was only used by his owner and kept it near the entrance, outside the kitchen — for the lady had a deep distaste for heat.
“Are you quite done with the preparations?” Lady Ruth asked after taking her seat.
Duri, who had immediately taken his position near his lady’s feet, sat kneeling down while supporting his hips on his ankles for some comfort.
He slowly shook his head and answered, “Not really, milady. It seems preparing physical food is quite the task.”
“Then summon some minions and get it done at the earliest. The lass is getting on my nerves. I can’t figure out how she ended up here!”
“Surely, milady.” Duri gave a polite nod.
“Are you keeping something from me?” Seeing his owner leaning towards him, Duri gulped and then stuttered, “I- I saw her last night driving past the station.”
“Did you do what you were supposed to?” With her face awfully close to Duri’s, she ran a single line with her cold index finger from near Duri’s ear across, over his jaw line.
“I d- did, milady. But she never stopped for gas!” Noticing the little tremors running through Duri’s hand, Lady Ruth smirked.
“Must I remind you that your job is to lead people into the Devil’s Crest no matter how! You must feed them or their belongings. If you don’t do your job properly how am I supposed to take care of myself? You are not supposed to slack off, Duri. See what happened, just because you let someone off the hook and they didn’t stop at your stupid little gas station! This must mean you have let a good number of souls just go by without me knowing!”
Duri’s lips trembled. “I… I- I am extremely sorry, milady. It won’t ever happen again. P- Please I beg for your forgiveness.”
“Oh, Duri… I wish it was this easy for me to forgive. One must punish disobedient pets to make sure they don’t repeat the same mistake twice. You have been ignorant while knowing what I feel. And more times than you should be forgiven for. I think I must remind you again what it feels like to be me so you could be more diligent next time.”
Lady Ruth Livingston snaked her left hand behind Duri’s neck and held his jaw firmly with her other hand and placed her lips on his. In her firm hold, Duri couldn’t protest. He closed his eyes as he felt her tongue touch his and her fingers pressed on the binding emblem on his neck. Duri winced as a fast burning sensation spread across his entire body. The mild sensation soon turned into a blazing fire all over his body. Duri’s screams got lost somewhere inside Lady Ruth’s mouth.
By the time it ended, Duri had no energy to even stay seated. In barely a minute, he was half his usual body and his skin developed new wrinkles.
Looking at Duri’s wheezing body on the floor, Lady Ruth wiped her lips and said, “My husband would have been so heartbroken if he saw me shoving my tongue down some other man’s throat.” She smiled and gently stroked Duri’s hair, “I am so glad that he is dead.”
Duri weakly glanced at her but couldn’t say anything.
Seeing him like that, Lady Ruth got up and said, “My poor Duri. I’ll summon the minions in your stead to have the lunch prepared in time. She has a strong aura. Her distress will ease my pain like no other.”
•••
“When do you think you’ll be able to come and visit my parents?” You asked and smiled bashfully, imagining Jeongguk asking your parents for your hand in marriage.
“I seriously can’t wait, babe. I just want to run to you right now and take you in my arms and kiss you until you get tired of it!” Jeongguk exclaimed, hardly being able to contain his happiness or excitement.
“You mean until forever ends?” You replied.
“Mhm. Yes, that’s exactly how long I am planning.” You could feel Jeongguk’s smile through the call.
“You have to get here first though.”
“I’m getting out right now! How am I going to wait for seven whole hours? Hm? My sweetest wifey?”
“Woah. Not yet, mister.”
“Soon to be. Soon to be~.”
“Yes… Very soon. But you don't have to rush. You can just come here on the weekend. Otherwise your boss will give you an earful.”
“But-”
“No ‘buts’. I promise I'll be fine. And it's just three days anyways.”
“Hmph. Okay. Fine. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
That fateful morning everything in your little world in Moore Estate changed when you found out you were pregnant. When you called Jeongguk to let him know, he reciprocated the same happiness as you felt. You felt like a large part of your empty heart was filling up.
But soon everything took an upsetting turn when you received a call from Hoseok’s sister that same evening about Hoseok going missing.
A couple of months ago Hoseok had moved into a mansion in the outskirts that a long-distance uncle of his had left for him in his will. Hoseok had been in a hurry to move out and get married so he had leaped at the offer and wanted to move in as soon as possible to remodel the mansion. After that, communication with him gradually became scarce which you just ruled out as him being busy remodeling the house.
You wanted to visit his mansion right away but when you called Jeongguk to let him know about the situation he strictly opposed it and insisted on accompanying you there.
Your estate fell on the way to Hoseok’s new place, though it was still a considerable distance away. So you had suggested to Jeongguk to pick you up from your estate and then both of you could go there together.
Now all of it screamed wrong decision and you blamed yourself for not warning your boyfriend beforehand.
•••
“Excuse me, milady. Her grace is waiting for you in the living room. Please let me lead you. We have prepared some refreshments.” Your remorseful revisitation to that day was interrupted by Duri who was standing at the door.
“Sure.” You got up. You looked back at Jeongguk and said, “I’ll be right back.”
You followed Duri — who appeared a bit worn out and definitely older than he seemed that morning — to the living room. You sat on a two seater sofa opposite the lady of the house; the ornate low table in front of you was filled with a huge variety of cookies and a cup of ginseng tea was kept in front of you.
“I am really sorry. I feel like it was really rude of me how I talked to you earlier. You are not obliged to but you are still helping us so much. I can’t even begin to thank you. Please tell me how I can make it up to you?” You said, thinking it was only fair to apologise since she only offered what she thought was best.
“We can start with introductions. I am Ruth Amelia Livingston.” Lady Ruth took her cup of tea from the table and signalled you to take yours before taking a sip.
You stammered before answering, surprised at her instant acceptance of your apology, “S- sure. I am Park Sowon.”
“That’s a beautiful name. I have never really liked my name, so my husband always lovingly called me Balam. He used to say that I am ungraspable like the wind.” Putting the hot cup on the plate in her left hand she smiled sadly.
“Used to? He doesn’t anymore?” You asked without thinking.
“Well, yes. I wish you could meet him. He was a jolly man. When he was alive, this building felt alive too. He took its life with him when he left for the afterworld.”
“I am sorry… for your loss. It must be really hard losing the love of your life… I can’t even begin to imagine how I am going to continue to live on if something happens to Jeongguk.” Your voice cracked remembering the fact that you almost did.
“Well, you learn to live with the pain… I loved him alright. But he… loved me more. I daresay I am rather thankful that he didn’t live to see my death.” Her nonchalant words left you momentarily speechless.
Before the atmosphere could get awkward you said, smiling thinly, “Accepting to be in sorrow rather than letting your loved one live in that situation is an act of tremendous love in itself. I think you love your husband as much as he used to.”
“Oh my, aren’t you a charmer? Thank you, dear. You are the first person whose words comforted me so deeply since my husband’s passing.” She kept her right hand on yours and looked at you with a warm smile, unlike her frigid hands; you noticed her tears staying at the edge of her eyelid margin.
“I think I should apologise too.” She continued after sitting straight.
You looked at her questioningly while picking up the third cookie from the plate.
“As I told you earlier, we live in a completely different world than yours. And I was inconsiderate of your feelings, quite shamefully so. You were right in getting worried. And I only thought of how I have always handled things here. I am sorry for that.”
“No please, it’s alright. I can see your point of view now. Thank you for being so kind again.” You paused. Something stirred inside you, like a big sadness that had been dormant for a long time at the bottom of your heart seeping out slowly.
“Actually, I have lost someone precious to me too, a long time ago, in a very similar incident. Perhaps that’s the reason why I have been so sensitive.”
You glanced at her as if you needed a moment before uttering the words, “It was my father.” The last word got mingled with the sadness stuck in your throat.
“Oh dear, what happened to him?” Lady Ruth kept her empty cup on the table and looked at you with concern.
You looked at her but your eyes couldn’t see her anymore — you were taken back to the time that you hated remembering the most.
•••
Winter was just beginning to settle itself in the early October air when one night your dad had suddenly showed up at your boarding school and filled out a form requesting your emergency leave for a week.
Be it for his whimsical nature or his adventurous mind, on numerous occasions he had taken you to many such impromptu trips. Despite being so used to such endeavours of your most favourite person in the world, your fifteen year old self couldn’t help but take notice of the anxiousness that his face wore that night. You knew almost instantaneously that this wasn’t one of your trips.
After an hour-long train ride from the city, you got off at the nearest train station from your locality. But as soon as you did so, your dad took you directly to the car parked in the parking lot of the station — which was unusual since your dad always bought you pretzels from a particular store after getting off there.
Luckily, unlike other times you didn’t feel hungry as an old lady with long white hair who was sitting on the opposite seat to yours offered two cookies each to you and your dad, but your dad being too anxious to eat had given you his share as well.
“We don’t have much time so I am going to step on it, alright? Hold tight.” Your dad had said before racing straight into the shortcut that no one knew the name of and no one bothered to keep one either — for everyone it was just a shortcut that everyone should avoid.
Why is dad taking this dark road? You couldn’t help but feel concerned.
The only things that provided little comfort were that it was your dad you were with, and the speed at which he was driving to take you home soon.
Soon you had passed the very same gas station that you had no idea that you would be crossing again eleven years later.
Your dad had told you some things about the gas station that you took as nothing more than a joke to lighten the atmosphere.
When you reached home at around 2am, the churning feeling inside your gut gave away its reason for being.
You saw your mom, your aunt-in-law, your grandparents and all the people that worked in your estate gathered in the hallroom with grave expressions. As soon as you entered the room your grandmother had taken you into her embrace and weeped.
“What’s going on?” You had asked.
Before anyone could answer you, you felt your dad’s hand on your shoulder and you turned around. He sat you on the sofa and crouching down on his knee he held your hands, “Sweetheart, your uncle is missing along with his friend… And I must go find them and bring them back.”
“But what about the police?”
“It’s my responsibility… I must be the one to go. The police won’t be of much help anyways. Don’t worry, I will surely bring them back. You just have to be the absolute sweetheart as you are and stay with your mom, alright?” Saying so, your dad stood up and with a slight nod at everyone, he walked out of the house.
You couldn’t stand watching him go away like that so you yanked your hand out of your mom’s and ran after him.
He was just about to get into his car but he stopped when he heard you call him. You ran and hugged him tightly, “Take me with you, please dad. It will be faster if we look together, won’t it? I am sure we will be able to spot them quicker and be back home even before dawn breaks. Dad? Please say something!”
Your dad broke himself out of your hug and sat on the car seat. He gently wiped the tears off of your face and kissed your forehead and murmured, “My sweet angel… I have already put your uncles in danger because of my foolishness… How can I put you in a similar situation when I know what might lie ahead…”
His words sent an uneasy fear down your spine but he didn’t let you question him. Instead he immediately held your arms and looked into your eyes with a serious expression, “Promise me, you'll never take the shortcut after midnight! And even if you do you won't stop anywhere in the middle. And no matter what happens you won't take the road to Devil's Crest!”
You shook your head, “Only if you promise to come back by morning.”
Your dad smiled sadly and nodded, “Yeah. I’ll be back soon.”
You wiped his tears gently and as the other family members started to come out, you quickly whispered, “It’s not your fault, dad.”
Seeing the others, he hurriedly got into his car. He placed a chaste kiss on the back of your hand and before driving off he said, “I love you, sweetheart.”
Your “I love you too” subsided in the ground with the descending mist.
•••
You lowered your face into your palms trying to stop the streaming of warm tears into your warm hands.
You had no idea when Lady Ruth had sat beside you but when you felt her hand gently stroking your hair and back, you looked up at her and wiped your wet cheeks, “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to bawl my eyes out like this.” You chuckled, “It’s just that I suddenly miss him so much.”
Lady Ruth smiled awkwardly, “Do you know why people avoid the shortcut?”
You shook your head.
“There’s a rumour that plagues this area… that a witch haunts the shortcut road and its surroundings. That she takes people's souls to feed herself. Many people have gone missing over the years, fueling the rumour, eventually forcing people to avoid this area altogether.”
“Have you seen that witch?” You asked as goosebumps lined your skin.
Lady Ruth scoffed, “No, I haven’t. Though Duri has witnessed some gruesome murders by poachers who come to the forest to hunt for the rare pangolins but encounter humans instead. Sometimes one or two lucky humans make it out of their harsh luck…” She paused. Then looking in your eyes she said, “Eleven years ago one such human sought refuge in our home. He was badly injured and he did his best to hold up for a week. But we couldn’t avoid the misfortune. His… name was Park Yunseok.”
For a moment you felt like there was a heavy stone placed on your head and you were drowning. You couldn’t breath and your ears rang a constant tone.
Your face contorted as you dug up the word from inside your throat, “D-Dad?”
“I am afraid so…” Lady Ruth said. “Would you like to visit his grave?”
Did you? You didn’t have the courage — neither to find the answer to your question, nor to face your father’s resting place.
But I should. Otherwise how would your dad feel that you came this near and didn’t visit him?
“I should.” You replied.
“Yeah.” Lady Ruth smiled faintly and stroked your hair one more time before getting up.
You walked behind Lady Ruth and Duri as they led you to the south-east part of their property. After walking for a few minutes through their immaculately taken care of and beautifully designed garden, you reached a small perfectly mowed yard. At the end of the yard, there was a small patch of land that was covered in gerbera daisies and in the middle you saw your dad’s grave housed in marble and an epitaph - rising a foot above the ground - that said —
HERE LIES THE MAN WHO GRACED THE EARTH WITH THE SMILE MOST BEAUTIFUL
PARK YUNSEOK
PUT TO REST - 17 OCTOBER OF YEAR 2131
You sat beside his grave and smiled looking at the daisies surrounding it, “He must have told you about his favourite flower..” You looked up at Lady Ruth and said, “Thank you. I know he… likes it here.”
You looked down immediately to hide your fresh batch of tears and requested quickly, “Can I have a moment with him alone, please?”
“Of course, my dear. We’ll be going back to the house. Take your time.” You didn’t look up as you nodded but you could feel them leaving.
A few minutes passed with you staring at the ground then you slowly looked to your back to make sure they were far enough.
You slowly looked back and touched the grave — first with just the tip of your fingers and then with your palm. Despite the sun over your head the stone was cold and you started stroking it gently.
“Dad… Is it cold in there? I am sorry… I couldn’t arrange for your cremation or hold a proper funeral for you. Still I am glad that you met some decent people to be there for you in your last moments and they made you a nice place to rest. Don’t worry. I’ll be a good girl and thank them properly.”
You paused to take a deep breath and as it slowly left your lungs in a shaky exhale, your chest hurt as if thousand hammers were going off at once.
The fatigue of all of the years you were looking for your dad came crashing down on you all at once — the memories of going through the tireless four years of nosebleeding university life, becoming an official detective, tolerating the prejudices, swallowing the scoldings for trying to gather information about your dad’s whereabouts, being told off for using police resources and time for personal use and finally quitting the job to look for him independently — like a tsunami.
“Dad…” Another shaky breath escaped your lungs and you couldn’t control your tears anymore. “I am… I am sorry dad… I should have been there for you. It must have been so hard for you to not see any of us in your last moments. I am sorry dad. I wish it was me instead of you. Dad, I miss you so much…” You didn’t care if your voice was going to disturb the noiseless peace around here, you wailed calling your dad and hugged the grave as much as you could. The tears streaming down your cheeks mixed with your running nose wetted the grave and the coldness of the stone felt a little warm.
“Dad.. dad… can’t you ask God for a second chance? Can’t you beg him to send you back in time? That way you could prevent that awful night from happening and you could see me grow up and get married to Jeongguk and play with your grandkids… That way mom wouldn’t be sad and mom wouldn’t marry Jiho and I wouldn’t have to call him ‘dad’... I hate it when mom forces me to call him dad in front of others… I hate it. He is not my dad. No one can ever take your place, dad. Please come back, dad. And tell me that you are proud of me and I grew up just the way you hoped I would. Dad… Dad? Please say something. Call me and wake me up from this nightmare… Dad…” Your breath hitched and you started having trouble breathing because of your blocked nose. The pain in your chest increased and you felt sick in your stomach.
You stood up and ran outside the flower patch and vomited everything that you had eaten a while ago. You felt dizzy and a burning irritation shot up from your throat to your nose to your brain. With weak steps, you reached the grave and hugged it to get some rest and a much sought comfort.
•••
From the window of her bedroom, which was located at the far south-east of the manor, Ruth Livingston was watching you with her vintage brass binoculars. Her lips twitched at its corner and her eyes gleamed in ecstasy.
Never peeling her eyes away from you she addressed her loyal servant Duri who was standing upright by the door and exclaimed, “Tch tch. Poor thing. Crying, wailing, writhing in pain… all on a grave that’s not even real.”
Her laughter resounded throughout her bedroom and she felt an unparalleled joy, “If just watching her like this is this satisfying, then imagine how wonderful I am going to feel when she becomes a part of my collection? She should be ready by now. Go, bring her. I can’t wait anymore.”
“Right away, your grace.” Duri replied and turned to leave.
But right then her shout compelled Duri to turn back around instantaneously, “NO! No no no! Don’t! Don’t ruin my happiness, you disgusting vile little rat! Duri! Look at her! She is vomiting all the feeds! She is emptying her guts on my beautiful flower beds! Bring her back at once!”
•••
You must have fallen asleep after getting tired because of the physical and emotional toll all the crying took on your body. When you woke up you found yourself lying down on the couch in Jeongguk’s room.
You sat up slowly and softly placed your palms on your swollen eyes. The darkness of the room made you wonder how long you have been out of it.
Jeongguk was still unconscious. As you watched him from your position it was hard to even tell whether he was breathing or not.
You got up and sat near Jeongguk. His body temperature was still on the colder perimeter; the only thing that somewhat assured you was his slow breathing.
You held his hand as tears accumulated in your eyes again.
I don’t think I can survive losing someone again.
•••
“Ah! This is so amusing! Ha ha ha!” Swaying in her armchair, Ruth Livingston laughed like she hadn't in a very long time.
“Duri, you never told me it was this enthralling to catch prey! I am thinking of joining you from now on. On that note, prepare a scrumptious feast for her. I want her to be well fed so that she has the energy to cry a little more! Ah! I didn't expect her to react like that… Now I have to make another miscarriage potion, which is going to take a while. It’s a little setback that I cannot have her with an untainted soul living inside her but that only means I can play with her a little longer. Prepare that thing beforehand so I can give it to her after lunch.”
Duri bowed deeply and silently left the room to carry out the order he was given.
•••
When you were at the hospital, a few years back, because of appendix surgery, the nurses and the doctors constantly came to check up on you and feed you medicine at designated times. What reminded you of that time was the fact that it had been almost seven hours since you came here and you hadn't seen the doctor — that lady Ruth doted on so much — visit Jeongguk even for once!
It was worrisome. You didn't want to keep Jeongguk in such a neglectful situation when you didn't have any idea how severe his injuries were.
His body was getting colder by the minute and his appearance turned paler; it didn't even feel like a living person's body anymore.
I have to pressure the mechanic myself to repair Jeongguk's car within today, preferably before the sun sets.
You kept Jeongguk's hand down by his side gently and got out of the room. Duri was standing right outside the door which startled you. As soon as he saw you he politely said, “It’s time for lunch, milady. I have come to escort you.”
“Oh! Thank you, sir.” You replied immediately.
Tch! I should have denied and asked him to lead me to the mechanic.
“Please call me Duri. I am not to be addressed as ‘sir’ by a guest of this manor.” Duri said in his usual stoic manner.
You didn’t want to argue on ways this household worked so you just decided to ask him about the whereabouts of the mechanic instead, “Oh… Okay. By the way, Duri, can you tell me where the warehouse is where Jeongguk’s car is getting fixed?”
There was a moment’s pause before he replied, “I must have her grace’s permission before taking you there, milady. You can ask her for yourself at the table.”
“That I shall do then.” You replied and nodded your head to yourself.
You were led into the dining room where Lady Ruth was already seated. The long and finely polished Indian rosewood dining table with a capacity to seat fourteen people, in the middle of the room, painted in a combination of matte orange and Carolina blue, had long fallen from its prime with only Lady Ruth being its sole user.
It was indeed a surprise to you — you didn’t know what you were expecting but it was certainly not her words being true about the only three residents of this vast mansion.
I would be out of my wits if I had to live alone like this in a single place.
After you took your seat, Duri started bringing in dishes one by one and it felt like his trips from the food trolley to the dining table were never ending. Before long, the table was filled with delicacies, most of which you were seeing for the first time.
“Please dig in. Duri here is no less than a Michelin chef.” Lady Ruth said with a proud smile.
Your eyes travelled over all the dishes that covered the table and you couldn’t imagine how Duri managed to prepare all these single handedly in such a short time especially taking into consideration the fact that it took you at least one hour to prepare only three dishes.
You took a bite from the savory appetiser placed right in front of you. Your head immediately turned towards Duri who was standing by the food trolley and you exclaimed with big eyes, “Duri, this is seriously so delicious! With this skill you should consider becoming a professional chef! You would totally kill it!”
A bewildered expression flashed on Lady Ruth’s face which you luckily caught instantly and you corrected yourself immediately, “I mean not literally kill anything. It’s a figure of speech that people use nowadays to say that someone would be outstandingly good at something. Ha ha. Please don’t misunderstand.”
There wasn’t much of a muscle movement on Duri’s face and you were relieved when you saw the proud smile on her lips returning, “That’s a dangerous figure of speech. Anyway, I told you so. Though I don’t know if he’ll be wanting to leave me alone here.”
You quickly glanced at Duri, then to Lady Ruth and said, “I am sure he isn’t willing to.”
Lady Ruth didn’t say anything but the smile did grow a little.
You waited for a moment to pass before asking, “By the way, your grace, if possible I would like to meet the mechanic to know how the repair is going. Gguk’s… I mean Jeongguk’s condition is worsening and I am sorry if I sound rude but I haven’t seen your doctor visit him even once since I arrived…”
Lady Ruth swallowed the food in her mouth and looked at Duri, “Duri?”
“Doctor Jung stopped by twice to check on Miss Park’s boyfriend since morning — once when your graces were having tea and the second time when Miss Park was not conscious. He also checked up on Miss Park while he was there and said that he’d talk to her when she is awake.” All this while Duri answered looking at Lady Ruth and his eyes never wavered your way, not even when he mentioned your name in front of you as if you were not present in the same room. His behaviour was telling you how insignificant you were to a mere servant of this manor and that you should watch how you speak with the master of this very manor. You couldn’t refute, as the guilt of your own words felt heavier on your tongue than the insult on your chest.
“I am sorry. I didn’t know.” You managed to raise your voice a notch higher than a mumble.
“Please don’t worry about it. People behave in a lot of ways when they are not informed about certain situations. Especially when they are desperate. So I can understand you. Duri will take you to the warehouse after lunch. Please finish your meal.” After saying this to you with her voice as calm as ever she went back to eating.
Both of you ate silently, and soon you had finished everything that was served to you, which was, considering your regular eating capacity, quite excessive.
After the table was cleared, you were led to the living room. Duri brought an envelope on a small tray. Lady Ruth took the envelope and handed it to you and said, “Your father… left this with us.”
Even before you could open the envelope, tears accumulated in your eyes. You sat down and wiped your wet eyes before taking out the note.
It was a short letter written on a torn diary page.
My sweet angel, the light of my life,
Please forgive this cruel dad of yours for not keeping the promise he made. I am sorry that I had to leave like that and now… I am leaving again… I wish I could see you one last time.
The letter ended abruptly. You flipped to see if there’s anything more but there wasn’t. You checked the envelope and found a polaroid inside it which was a picture of you and him, that was taken on your fifth birthday picnic, that he always kept in his wallet.
The heaviness inside your throat was back again and you found it hard to breathe. Not wanting to put the burden of consoling you on your hosts, you said as your voice trembled, “I’ll excuse myself to Jeongguk’s room. Sorry.”
You darted out of there and couldn’t notice the slight nod that Lady Ruth gave you, nor the light crooked smile that formed on her lips.
Entering the room, you closed the door behind you and let yourself slide down its length. Your chest hurt. The pain hung on your rib cages like rotten branches and no matter how much you pounded on them to make them go away, they didn’t. Defeated, you hugged your knees close to yourself and cried on them and there was only one thought that reverberated throughout your brain.
Dad, please come back.
In search of comfort, you went to sit on the chair kept beside Jeongguk. Holding his cold hands you kept your head on the bed. Your fingers fiddled with his pale ones and your unceasing tears wetted his bedsheet. You wished he would wake up any time now and would hug you until you felt better.
Your tears slowed down as minutes went by and your line of vision got clearer. But the person who came in after swinging the door open with all his might made you rub your eyes for a good moment to get the clearest view because how the hell is Hoseok here?
You sat up straight but you were too dumbstruck to stand up and react in a way you would when you saw him normally.
“Wonwon! Are you okay? Does it hurt anywhere? Wonwon speak to me!” You could faintly hear him enquire you while checking your pulse. You were too busy processing the sense of familiarity that you had been seeking all this while to answer him. The sound of his nickname for you — that he had given you when you two were just little kids with runny noses in preschool because pronouncing ‘Sowon’ was too much for him — fell on your ears like holding a warm mug of cocoa in a freezing winter evening.
When the layer of daze wore off you hugged him tightly and exclaimed, “I am… totally fine… now! I am just so so happy to see you, Hoba! So happy! Are you even real? I am not seeing things, am I? How are you even here in the first place?”
Hoseok sighed in relief and breaking out of your hug he smiled, “What do you mean ‘how’? I live here!”
After he made you sit back on the chair he sat on the floor and said, “I sent you my address, don’t you remember?”
Hearing him say that, you finally remembered the text he sent you with his location just before moving in — The Balam Manor, Witch’s Cradle.
No wonder the name seemed so familiar when you read it initially at the entrance.
But you still had many questions that needed to be answered so you asked him, “I remember now. But your sister called and told me that they couldn’t reach you for many days. You must have sent them your location, haven’t you?”
“Really?” Hoseok looked puzzled. “I have sent them my location, I remember for sure. Have they gone to the wrong place? And moreover, I couldn’t reach them for a few days now, so I was thinking of visiting them, but we found Jeongguk and I couldn’t just leave him like this.”
“Wait, Hoba! You said you inherited this mansion and you were going to renovate it… Then what’s Lady Ruth doing here?”
“Oh… that?” Hoseok smiled awkwardly; you thought he even looked a little sad. “There’s been a mix up. I did inherit it kind of but Aunty Ruth, my uncle’s wife, is still alive, and even though uncle had written it off to me, aunty still has some right on it so it was decided that this floor will be aunty’s for as long as she lives. And the remaining floors above, that is, the first and second, are mine.”
“Are you okay? What about Ji-a? Is she okay with this?” You asked.
“Well, you know her. She is a bit taken aback. But the good thing is that she said she will prepare her mind about this situation and join me in a few days and help me with the renovations.”
“Well Ji-a has always been a sensible one!” You smiled.
“Just like her boyfriend.” Hoseok smiled smugly.
“Yeah, of course.” You scoffed and rolled your eyes.
“So you are the in-house doctor that Lady Ruth mentioned!” You squinted your eyes playfully at Hoseok.
“Is that how she talked about me?” He asked. “Well, can’t blame her. She didn’t know that we knew each other. Not gonna lie that I don’t feel a little bad though… She still hasn't fully accepted me. That’s understandable as well. Imagine someone you never heard of comes and says that your dead husband has given your home to them! I would totally go berserk. She still is willing to cooperate.”
“Yeah…” Your voice trailed off. After Hoseok’s comment about ‘dead husband’ you could barely pay attention to what he was saying as your eyes wandered to Jeongguk and the ache in your chest was back.
Hoseok followed your eyes and held your hands, “Wonwon… don’t worry. He has made it out of the most critical phase. Just give him some time, he will get better. I am taking care of him.”
“Hoba…” Your voice trembled as you looked back at your best friend. “I don’t doubt your skill but look at him… How much more time do you think we should spend on just letting him lie down here like this? He is getting paler and colder. If it wasn’t for his slow breaths I would have thought I had lost him… Please Hoba, we have to get him to a hospital!”
Your words put Hoseok in deep thought. After a brief moment of silence he sighed and said, “You are right. No matter how much effort I put in it won’t be enough. There’s no suitable equipment here as there would be in a hospital. I heard Jeongguk’s car is in the warehouse. Do you want to go check on its status?”
You stood up immediately and said, “That’s what I have been trying to do since before lunch! Let’s go at once!”
“Let me lead you there, milady.” Hoseok smiled.
“I see Duri has rubbed off on you.” You laughed. And Hoseok laughed back and tried to mimic Duri, “Is that so, milady?”
The warehouse was behind the manor in the north. It was a big wooden building, or one could say a humongous room with a slanting wooden roof that could house at least twenty SUV cars with enough space to open doors fully in between them. It seemed like a total waste of space to see a single car with a tattered front being repaired at the side.
When you two walked up to the car, a person wearing a grey vest and black mechanic pants emerged from under the vehicle.
Seeing you two, he got up and waved at Hoseok, “Hey, Dr. Jung! Good to see you!”
His accent was of the city that suddenly felt so out of place here and no matter how much you tried to shake it off, you couldn’t help but think that he looked like the Korean version of Vin Diesel.
Hoseok extended his hand for a handshake but he refused, showing his hands laced with car grease and oil. Then he asked Hoseok with a smile, “And who this pretty lady here might be?”
“She is the girlfriend of the owner of the car you are fixing, Park Sowon.” Hoseok answered him.
“Ouch! There goes my chance for a date night. Anyways, it’s a pleasure to meet you Sowon-ssi! This humble man’s name is Lim Seokga. But you can lovingly call me Seok.” He smiled and bowed like a gentleman.
“It’s nice to meet you too Seokga-ssi.” In reality all you wanted to say was - You are a mile away from humbleness Mr. Lim, like you should be from me.
You bowed back slightly and smiled awkwardly. You looked at Hoseok and pleaded with your eyes to rescue you from these unsolicited flirtations.
He seized your signal like a spy would from his fellow in espionage and he grinned at Seokga and pretended to whisper as if he was trying to be his wingman, “Seokga-ssi, Sowon-ssi is a bit tense right now. Why don’t you show off your skills and explain the condition of the car to her?”
Seokga gave Hoseok a smirk of approval and turned around to face the dinged up car. You noticed a symbol that almost looked like a fancy tattoo branded on his neck that started at the top of his neck and ran a couple inches along his spine. The burnt mark seemed sizzling fresh as if he had it done a few minutes ago and somehow you could feel the pain that it must have inflicted to come into existence.
Seokga kept his hand on the bonnet of the car and started explaining, “Anyways, Sowon-ssi, date night or not, I must do my job. You have come to know about the condition of the car, right? In short terms, it’s not really good. I am quite embarrassed to say this but it can only be repaired at the showroom. It’s not a one person job.”
You felt anger bubble up at the pit of your throat. You felt like you had been standing in a long queue for half a day in front of an empty shop.
You tried to sound as calm as you could, “So you're telling me you have been working on this car for a full day knowing that you can’t fix it?”
“Full day? I arrived just this morning! And I never said I can’t fix it. I said I need manpower and the facilities.” Seokga tried to defend his honour behind his cheeky answer.
You knew better than to argue with a man like him.
“Ridiculous!” You muttered under your breath and gritted teeth before leaving the warehouse with hurried strides.
When you walked in, Lady Ruth was in the living room instructing Duri about the arrangement of your stay for the night.
“I am afraid, your grace, I don’t think I can stay for the night. If I take off now I can bring an ambulance back with me at earliest tonight.” You announced.
Lady Ruth stared at you for a good few seconds as if trying to make sense of the nonsense you just sputtered out.
“I think that would have been for the best. He needs better care but I am afraid I have some bad news for you. It seems that a tempest is expected this evening. I don’t think it would be wise to set out now.” She said calmly.
The bewilderment from a moment ago hadn’t yet dissipated from within you and hearing this now, you felt terribly angry, as if you were being held captive. You looked out the window and exclaimed, “The weather seems totally fine to me! There isn’t even a single dark cloud in the sky yet! It didn’t take me long to reach here. I am certain if you don’t stall me further I will be able to make it out of here before the storm catches up!”
You looked at Lady Ruth, who was staring at you with an unreadable expression. It was as if she wasn’t present there at the moment. You stood there like you had just yelled at your mother and couldn’t decide whether you should apologise or not.
You felt a light jab at your side and you looked at Hoseok who was signalling you to apologise, which made you realise that you had strangely forgotten about his existence for the past few minutes.
It’s like someone put several ice cubes on your hot head and the fizzing sensation urged you to apologise for your unnecessary rudeness to the lady who was everything but helping you.
You turned to look at Lady Ruth whose expression gave the impression that she was back to this room.
“I- I am sorry, your grace… I didn’t mean to say it like that. It’s just that the mechanic really got on my nerves and I involuntarily took out my frustration on you. I apologise for being an impudent brat.”
You waited for her to reply and a few seconds passed when suddenly an intensely bright lightning struck the ground outside followed by a deafening sound which made you jump out of your skin and you felt goosebumps all over.
Heavy rainfall soon followed, accompanied with mad gusts of wind and roaring thunder. Duri, with quick steps, closed all the windows and disappeared down the right hallway to probably close the rest of the windows. Seeing him, you ran to Jeongguk’s room to close the window.
Rain was wetting the curtains and there was already a pool forming on the floor. You scurried over to close the window sills. There were a number of things you should consider when walking on a wet floor and the first one was to never hurry, which you did, and the next thing you knew was that you slipped and hit something real hard — the pain at the back of your head was the last thing you felt before blacking out.
Your consciousness started coming back to you slowly, like a weekend morning after a good night’s sleep. You pulled the blanket closer to you as you let yourself stay like that in the comfort of the bed. In the back of your head, you felt like you were forgetting something. Then it dawned upon you like a weekday morning after a late night’s sleep. You sat up abruptly and stayed like that for a couple minutes to let your brain return to normal from the sudden dizziness.
You slowly got out of the bed and noticed that you were wearing an off-white lace full-sleeved midi nightgown. The back of your head hurt and you had a bandage wrapped around your head. Instinctively, you touched your head while looking around the beige and sage green themed bedroom — it was well-lit with candles and it didn’t have any windows so you couldn’t tell what hour of the day it was. The shock made you run into the bathroom attached to the room. In the mirror you saw yourself and thought no wonder your head felt so light — there was not a single strand of hair on your head.
What the fuck! How could they?
You left the room to find Hoseok to get an explanation behind your shaved head, and you noticed that you had been in the room next to Jeongguk’s. The hallway was lit with fire torches, and through the window at the end of the hallway you could see that it was already night and the rain was still falling, although its vigour had lessened a lot from before.
You slowly walked into Jeongguk’s room. The floor was dry and in the light of the candles Jeongguk’s pale body looked livelier than he looked that afternoon. His breaths seemed more stable now.
You sat near him and softly brushed his hair with your fingers and whispered, “Please wake up soon. I can’t do this without you.”
You walked through the torch-lighted hallway to find Hoseok. You passed the living room and entered the right hallway. The very first room had its door open and it seemed like a study. You saw Lady Ruth in a dark green silk maxi nightgown half-lying on a dark brown wool sofa reading a thick book.
You thought that it would be better to ask her about Hoseok’s whereabouts than wandering these colossal halls yourself. You knocked on the door to get her attention and she immediately looked at you and sat up, “Sowon, you are up! Please come in!”
You entered the room and sat on one of the two single-seater sofas.
The room was brown themed and smelt of old books and wood. Three of its walls, including the one that had the entrance, had ceiling-touching wooden shelves full of books. The fourth wall opposite to the entrance, was filled with framed photographs, a fireplace and an olive coloured small door at the far left that was smaller than any door you had seen so far in the house. It was almost head-to-head with Lady Ruth.
“Why did you come all the way here by yourself? You should be taking a rest now. Hoseok would be upset if he sees you out of your bed.” She said with concern.
“I was looking for him actually…” You murmured, unable to talk in your normal volume.
“He went to his room a while back and said he will be down for dinner. Duri is still not done yet, it seems. Are you hungry? Can you wait a bit more?”
“Yes.. I don’t mind..” You murmured again.
You couldn’t figure out the strange nervousness that you felt and you noticed that you were fidgeting your fingers and your legs were shaking and the air sat heavy on your upper body as sweat droplets formed on your forehead.
“I must say you don’t look all that bad with all your hair gone. When Hoseok suggested shaving your whole head to stitch the wound, saying that you would hate having a bald spot on your head I couldn’t really agree. After all, a lady's beauty is in her hair!”
You were not really paying attention to what she was saying so you just smiled awkwardly and wiped the sweat on your forehead with a shaky hand. You couldn’t form an answer as you were completely taken over by the weirdness you felt in your body, and you felt strangely attracted towards the wall that had the small door.
You stood up abruptly and asked, “Can I look at the photos on the wall?”
“Sure. Go ahead!”
Getting the permission you swiftly went over to the wall and slowly started going through the pictures. The pictures ranged from old sepia to black and white to evolving coloured ones to aesthetically edited high definition ones — it was as if you were going through the history of photography. The photos were taken in various parts of this very property and most of the pictures were of Lady Ruth, many were of her with a middle aged man that she introduced to you as her late husband, and a few had Duri with her in it. In one such photo your eyes stopped — it was comparatively small, almost the size of your face and it was the only photo with only Duri in it. In it he was looking at a mirror hung up on a wall — he looked much younger, probably in his 30s, and he was looking at his reflection with a smile as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing but he was happy nonetheless. The photo was taken from his back and a similar searing brand was clearly visible on his neck that you saw this afternoon on Seokga’s neck. The photograph was old - perhaps the oldest one here - so you had no way of determining the freshness of the wound.
With a shaky breath you asked, “Wh- What’s behind this door?”
Lady Ruth stared at the door for a moment and mumbled, “My lifeline.” Then she looked back at your puzzled face and said, “Let me give you a tour!”
The door didn’t have a lock nor did it have a handle. Lady Ruth pushed it and it slid open swiftly. Upon crossing the threshold you came upon a scenery which made you feel more speechless than when you visited the Guggenheim museum for the first time.
The wooden shelf that started from the immediate left wall of the door touched the ceiling and when you looked up, its height went on for at least twice the height of the ground floor ceiling.
“Come.” Lady Ruth held your hand and you followed her spellbound.
The shelf ran along the walls and continued in a circle till it couldn’t bend anymore. It was like a mosquito coil but quadrilateral. There were candle lanterns placed at regular intervals so it wasn’t that difficult to see things. The shelf was filled with two different shapes of glass boxes — rectangular and square — and they were innumerable. Each glass box — approximately two feet in length — was separated from the other by a thin wooden ply.
“Wh-What are these?” You asked.
“My collection of miniature places. I make these location miniatures from scratch and Duri brings the glass boxes from outside and I store them in here. I only create two places though. One is the Devil’s Crest and another one is the entire property of this manor.”
“How many exactly are there? They seem countless!” You couldn’t help but express your bewilderment.
“Not quite. There are exactly twenty-seven thousand six hundred and sixty-six worlds!”
“Wow… I am stupefied to say the least!” You exclaimed, feeling your shoulders getting burdened by each step towards the interior.
“I would say that I am proud of myself too. They really help me live.” She smiled and looked at her collection.
When you reached the centre of the room, the shelf ended and there was an ivory table on which an approximately 15 cm tall snowglobe was kept, and it was covered by a tall glass box which reminded you of the rose covered in glass in The Beauty And The Beast.
It was the most breathtaking snowglobe that you had ever seen in your entire life. You went closer to it to take a good look and it made you gasp. Inside the place seemed way too familiar — it was the shortcut road that started from the junction, leaving the actual junction area out of it and ended right before reaching the Moore Estate. The woods surrounding it were in it as well, and what seemed like very tiny versions of a gas station, the Devil’s Crest turning and the entire property of the Balam Manor. What surprised you the most was that it was drizzling inside it just like it was outside.
Lady Ruth could probably tell what you were thinking by your shocked expression so she said, “I know it seems like an unusual piece but it’s nothing really surprising. The snow globe has a mechanism that lets me set its weather inside and I like it when it matches.”
“Can I touch it?” You asked while pointing at it.
Lady Ruth almost jumped at you and grabbed your hand and nervously laughed, “I would rather prefer if you don’t. You see, it was gifted to me by an extremely important someone and it’s very precious to me. It’s what inspired my hobby, ha ha. I don’t let anyone touch it. But you can look at the ones I made! Please.”
Her eyes were pleading you to move away from it. You didn’t want to overstep your boundaries, so you glanced at it one last time and moved away to look at the ones on the shelf.
The shelf had no space left for a new one so you said, “Seems like you have to make space for your future miniatures.”
“Not really. There are always some that end up as no joy for me and when they are discarded new ones fill that space!”
“Oh…” You replied, pretending to understand fully what she said and went back to observing.
The miniature boxes had tiny silver tags at top right corners of each of them and had numbers written on them which seemed like dates followed by letters with no space in between them.
On the bottom shelf there was a miniature of the Devil Crest inside a rectangular glass box whose dimensions were 2ft×1ft×1ft. For some reason you felt attracted towards it, so you squatted down and looked at it intently.
“Here.” Lady Ruth took out a lantern from its holder and handed it to you.
“Thank you.” You replied showing a small smile and went back to observing.
The silver plate on its top left corner read: 21421002306JJ.
It was a bluish dark kind of atmosphere inside as if it would dawn there soon. There was a straight road that ran lengthwise from one end to the other and its entirety was surrounded by woods on both sides that became denser the further it went from the road.
On the right end of the road, placed at least two inches above its base, on the glass case was a neon exit sign.
Right before reaching it the road took a turn and formed a circle of red colour. Something felt off about it so you leaned in closer to take a better look. Then you saw the pitch coloured road that was there from the starting but as it neared the circle it bent left slightly as if making room for the red road and ghostly moved forward towards the exit sign.
The position of the roads were so close that if the roads were the same colour, one might think that the red road was the straight continuation and the pitch road was just another lane, or that the road just got wider.
Then you noticed another weird thing — there was a car on the red road that stood facing the exit sign and it looked exactly like Jeongguk’s car.
“Th- That’s Jeongguk’s car!” You blurted out and looked at Lady Ruth.
“Hm? Oh yes!” Lady Ruth bent forward to look at the miniature and then looking at you she smiled, “Your boyfriend’s car gave me the idea. I think adding this detail puts more life into it! Don’t you think so?”
You nodded reluctantly. It’s making me sick, if anything.
If you were in a bustling place then you would have thought you were hearing things, but the room was so quiet it could hardly be passed as a mistake; you clearly heard it - Jeongguk calling you.
It was very faint but you were sure it was Jeongguk’s voice calling out, “Sowon!”
Multiple times.
You stood up abruptly and exclaimed, “Did you hear that? Jeongguk’s calling me! He must be up! I must go at once!”
You kept the lantern on the floor and ran out of the room.
•••
Jeongguk wasn’t feeling himself. He felt detached from his body. His exhausted body was working under the directions of an adamant mind. A mind that felt itself going crazy and couldn’t register the tired body that was carrying it.
How long had he been walking on this godforsaken road, he didn’t know. He didn’t want to know. He just wanted to reach an ending. The unchanging environment surrounding him clutched his throat but wanted him to go on still.
He couldn’t remember how many times he had already passed his car.
He didn’t know how many times he had broken down in the middle of the road.
He finally stopped to take a sip of water that he was rationing in case he had to stay longer. He sat on the back seat and drank one sip and lied down.
His brain was starting to finally acknowledge the worn out aching body. And along with it a sense of hopelessness, that he was avoiding.
Drops of tears glided down from the side of his eyes — some entered his ears and some detoured into his black hair.
Just then, something unexpected happened - he heard your voice.
It was as if you were talking to somebody not too far from him. And when you spoke his name, he heard it loud and clear.
He sprang up and ran outside and called out your name, with all the strength in his body, “Sowon!” Multiple times.
Jeongguk heard his name one more time and then everything went silent, again.
“No no no no no. She can’t be here. She shouldn’t be here.” Jeongguk mumbled to himself, clutching his hair.
“I must find her at once.” He knew full well that you weren’t on the road. The only option was the woods that he was avoiding until now.
Without any hesitation, he ran into the woods. The hovering fog followed him.
•••
As abruptly as you had left you came to an abrupt halt at the door of Jeongguk’s room. His taut body seemed loose as he was sitting on the bed, trying hard to do the same. You ran the short distance and hugged him.
“Oh god! Thank you so much! You are up! How are you feeling, Gguk? Is there any pain?” You asked.
He just smiled tiredly.
“Let me call Hobi.” You tried to get up but Jeongguk held you in his hug.
He softly sighed into the crook of your neck, “Let’s stay like this for a bit. I thought I won't be able to see you anymore.”
A slow discomfort crept up from your gut and spread its supple branches to the places Jeongguk’s body touched yours. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Your hardened stress was supposed to melt away from his touch instead of tightening like cooling stones.
Despite the fire blazing at its full capacity in the fireplace, Jeongguk’s body was unusually cold to the touch. You couldn't figure out the reason for your discomfort, so you pulled yourself out from his grip and rubbed your hands up and down his cold arms over the thin fabric.
“Oh my god! You are freezing! I have brought some warm clothes with me. Let me bring them to you.” You walked over to your haversack that had been abandoned by the couch since morning. You took out a white knit sweater that you had once borrowed from him.
“What happened to your hair?” He asked in a raspy voice.
“It’s a long story. I’ll tell you all about it later. A lot has happened since you got lost…” You sighed and started putting the sweater on him.
“Really? Why don’t you sit down and tell me all about it?” He said and you noticed his raspy voice getting raspier.
Knowing your boyfriend, you thought it was weird for a worrywart like him to not ask you about how you were feeling yet, especially now that you were pregnant. Brushing it off as his sickness side effect, you quickly went to his backside to roll down the sweater on him properly that got tucked upwards, and while doing so, your eyes flickered momentarily on his neck.
Your hands froze in their place. You felt like all your red warm blood had turned into white cold icy water seeing the same sizzling brand mark on his neck. Only one thought made itself loud and clear in your consciousness — you had to get away from the man sitting on the bed in front of you pretending to be your beloved.
With trembling hands and shaking pupils you touched the silver water jug kept on a bedside stand near his head and tried to sound completely normal but failed to control the stutters completely, “Oh- oh my! G-Gguk, you must be thirsty! Huh? Oh n-no! There’s no water in it! Let me go and bring some water for you!”
You hoped that whoever it was in the room didn’t notice the cold sweat on your forehead nor that you were trying to run away from it and hurried out of the room with the full jug in your hand.
Outside, the torch-lit hallway in your eyes appeared to continue forever and so gargantuan that the darkness at the end of it felt like you were looking down in an endless well and you could fall down in it if you looked any further.
Your legs felt weak and inside your head you felt a buzzing that made you nauseous. You dragged your body into the next room in which you were resting in the evening and locked the door after you.
Slowly you climbed the bed to find some comfort. You wrapped yourself in the blanket and sat there staring blankly at nothing.
Steadily enough your thoughts began to gain a coherent form and the buzzing started to die down. But even after that, you couldn’t make sense of what was happening around you.
Why do Duri, the mechanic and that person have the same brand? Why did I feel so sick in that room? Why do I feel so trapped? If that isn’t Jeongguk then where is he? Why did Lady Ruth have Jeongguk’s car inside her miniature? 21421002306JJ… 2142/10/02… October 2nd - the day Jeongguk went missing… His last call was at 3:03am. Could 306 be the time when these people found him? Wait… JJ? Jeon Jeongguk?
You felt your nerves shudder as your thoughts spiralled. I have to get out of here and find the real Jeongguk.
You slowly got out of the room and tiptoed along the hallway even though you were barefoot. There was luckily no one around when you slipped into the study. You couldn’t risk getting out of the main door and getting caught — you remembered the way the metal door made a loud creaking noise when Duri opened it this afternoon when you went to visit your father’s grave.
At this point, you were beginning to doubt whether it was even your father’s grave. There’s something really fishy going on here.
In the vast array of books, you weren’t sure if the blueprint of this house would even be kept, and even if it was, it would be like finding a needle in a haystack. Moreover, you had to look for it before someone walked in or looked for you. You frantically started scanning the bookshelves, you opened the cabinets underneath and looked in them while trying to avoid making the least sound but to no avail. It was indeed a needle inside a huge pile of hay.
Tired, you decided to stop and think carefully. It helped, for your eyes landed on something anomalous - all the shelves had uniform partitions except one in the right wall whose one partition ran wider than others. You knocked on it lightly and figured out that the inside was hollow. You hurriedly checked and noticed that it had no opening from the front. You started to take out the books slowly from the shelf at your eye level that was at the right side of the partition - there was nothing.
You kept the books in their place and instead of moving upwards or downwards, you decided to go to the left side of the partition and check.
Yes! You found it!
There was a thin rectangular line that said that it could be moved. You slowly pushed it and it slid open. Inside it was dark but not wanting to waste anymore time to bring a light source, you shoved your hand inside — not your best decision because you were instantly greeted with an unpleasant handshake of sticky cobwebs, and you definitely felt a few small things crawl by your hand.
You shut your eyes and mouth tightly and began to fumble your hand around until it touched something that felt like a thin book.
Bringing it out you cleaned the thick layer of dirt and crumpled cobwebs, that made itself a part of it, with your nightgown.
You opened it and realised that it was not a book but a parchment paper that was so big that upon folding the way it was, it gave the impression of a book.
When you fully unfolded the paper, you realised that you had found just the thing you needed. The blueprint which was a detailed drawing of all the floor plans and designs of the manor on its aging parchment paper could hardly be called a blueprint since it was nothing that you were used to seeing, but you decided to refer to it as the ‘blueprint’ anyways. It took up a large area of the floor and there was a browned photograph kept in the middle which in the spur of the moment you kept aside to look at the drawing instead.
In the all-familiar ground floor plan, you found something that was unfamiliar to you. There was a built-in secret passage along the back wall of the entire ground floor whose left end led to the kitchen in the basement and a backdoor marked as “the exit” was built in the middle of it. It had two entrances marked — one on the wall facing the room in which Jeongguk’s doppelganger was and another one was in the wall facing the master bedroom at the end of the right hallway. It was convenient, you thought. You just had to wait for everyone to retire for the night and then you could make your great escape.
At the top middle of it there were several things written which you assumed were its construction period, name of the head architect and the owners, respectively —
1589-1596
Jaejoong Yi
Jaejoong Yi & Ruth Amelia Livingston Yi
What the fuck…
You read it again and instinctively reached out for the photograph that you had kept aside earlier. The yellowing photograph showed two people standing in front of the main gate of the Balam Manor and they were smiling - one of them you could recognise from when Lady Ruth introduced to you earlier, Mr. Yi Jaejoong, her husband and the other one, you could recognise all too well because it was none other than Lady Ruth herself. Behind the photograph, there was a congratulatory message written that read, “Wishing all the happiness for your new beginnings. Much love, Rich Moore.”
Answers began to fold themselves into more questions the more you sought them out. You couldn’t comprehend all the information laid before you. You thought you were in some kind of an elaborate prank video. Why was there a photo of Lady Ruth that’s supposedly taken in 1596 when you could interact with her now in 2142, exactly 546 years later?
The flickering candle lights painted something ominous on the walls around you and you found it hard to breath. You wanted to get out of there as soon as possible but there was something that you must check before you go — a miniature labeled in your dad’s name.
There was no handle on the olive coloured door as you had seen before so you tried to push it open but it didn’t budge. You looked for anything that could be indicative of an opening but there was none.
You considered taking the pictures off the wall to look for some kind of key as they showed in movies but just then you heard footsteps outside. You hurried towards the door which you had mindfully closed after entering.
You listened to the footsteps carefully and instantly recognised them as Hoseok's.
You knew your best friend all too well to know that if you made any noise from behind in this darkness or simply call out his name he was gonna freak out and most probably would let out a pterodactyl shriek, hence alarming everyone present in the vicinity. He had a terrible distaste of darkness and the creatures that he thought resided in it. Now, it was making you wonder how he was even managing to live in this manor that nests this creepy darkness in it once the sun goes down.
You waited for his footsteps to fade enough to follow him without scaring him. Once you were sure he was far enough you got out of the room slowly and you saw his silhouette entering Jeongguk’s room, probably to check up on him. You increased your speed in order to stop him before he started to fuss over your disappearance.
Once you were in front of the door your speed reduced to a halt and you hesitated to enter as the two people inside — one with his hair wrapped in towel ready for a hair commercial checking the pulse of the other one with a weak posture and uninviting aura — turned and stared at your paused body with an expression that asked ‘why aren’t you entering?’
A staring competition ensued which lasted less than a minute and whose ending was marked by Hoseok’s question, “What are you thinking so hard about standing there?”
Startled, you entered the room as if you had to after his question and while walking towards Hoseok you asked him nervously, “How is he doing?”
“Better than I expected. Why didn’t you call me as soon as he woke up?” He asked while sitting down on the chair that you had dragged a lot earlier nearer to the bed to sit.
You stood right by your friend and answered, “I was going to but his voice was raspy so I went to bring some water.”
Hoseok looked at your hands and commented, “But I don’t see any water.”
“Ah…” Your voice trailed off as you brought your two hands forward and looked at them unbelievingly. Fuck! I was too careless.
“I… couldn’t find water in the dining room. Come help me find it.” You grabbed Hoseok’s hand and pulled him trying to get him up.
And when he finally got up you practically dragged him out of the room with the force of pulling a loaded cart uphill.
You stopped only when you reached the dining room. You looked behind you, and once you confirmed it’s only you two there you whispered, steering it loud enough to be considered as a serious matter, “Hoba, that’s not Jeongguk!”
“What?” On his face you could clearly see his disbelief in the fact that you just told him what you did.
“I am serious.”
“Aha! I know you are trying to pull a prank on me!” He cheerfully ended his investigation behind your weird claims.
“I am not. Hoba, please you have to believe me now.” You begged to be taken seriously.
He stared at you for a few moments as if looking for sincerity in your words and once he found it he asked, “Why do you feel like that? I didn’t sense anything off though.”
“I… I could just sense it. He makes me uncomfortable. My Jeongguk would never make me feel that way.” You said.
Hoseok pretended to vomit and said, “Okay. Stop. I get it.”
You slapped his arm and retorted, “You should see yourself when you talk about Ji-a!”
He laughed, “Sorry, sorry. My bad. But seriously it must be just your injured head talking! Who else it would be other than Jeongguk in the flesh! You have seen him. I have seen him. He is exactly like we know him.”
He was right. There was no visible evidence of him not being Jeongguk - except for the brand mark on his neck!
“Wait! Hoba, there’s…” You got interrupted in the middle by Duri, who entered the room and with his signature bow, he said, “Your graces, dinner is ready to be served.”
He then proceeded to pull two chairs one by one and waited until both of you sat down. Once he went out to bring the food you told Hoseok, still using the same hushed tone, “I have something important to tell you. Let’s talk after dinner in your room.”
“Alright, ma’am. I also have something to ask you. By the way, aren’t you going to feed Jeongguk? You used to do that whenever he got sick.” Hoseok’s voice was back to normal volume.
“Ah, right…” Your voice drooped. He is not Jeongguk though.
When Duri came back with the dishes Hoseok asked him, “Duri, have you prepared the soup that I asked you for Jeongguk?”
“Yes, milord. Earlier I came here after delivering the soup to him. But…” He paused and after a quick glance at you he looked back at Hoseok, “He said that he’ll wait for milady to finish her dinner.”
Ever since you hugged him, your mind was constantly telling you that he wasn’t Jeongguk and you should stop caring and stay as far as possible from him, but Duri’s last sentence put an uneasiness inside you like coarse sand between your toes, and your fingers hesitated to grab the chopsticks.
Unable to clean away the sand, you stood up and said, “Duri, can you please put away my food for now? I will have them after feeding Jeongguk.”
“Wait wait wait!” Hoseok stood up as well. “Have your dinner first. You have to take medicine. And Jeongguk will have to take meds too after dinner which I haven’t brought from my room. Let’s just finish our dinner quickly then you can feed him with all the love you want to give him, hm?”
Duri probably noticed your hesitation so he said, “Milady, I have put his soup back in the kitchen and his grace said that he wasn’t feeling like eating yet, so you can enjoy your dinner peacefully.”
You let out a heavy sigh and sat back down. You didn’t have any appetite but any excuse seemed better than seeing the man in that room right now.
At this point, relief seemed to be a far-fetched dream as one fear after another caught up to you. Putting the first nibble inside your mouth, you asked Duri, “Duri, won’t Lady Ruth be joining us for dinner tonight?”
After the discoveries of this evening you didn’t think you’d be able to hide your inner dread from her.
“Her grace has retired for the evening. She told me to relay the message that she regrets not being able to be your host for dinner tonight as she has some urgent business to attend to. She hopes for your understanding.” Duri answered.
“Ah! That’s completely fine! Please tell Lady Ruth to not worry about it all. Ha ha!” You didn’t expect to be spared the dread but you were thankful nonetheless.
You finished all that you were served quite quickly and after taking the meds, you requested Hoseok, “Hoba, please sit with me while I feed him. I really don’t want to be alone right now. And when I am done feeding him, tell him that you have something urgent to discuss with me, okay?”
You sat on the chair by the man’s bed and Hoseok sat on the couch. Duri brought in the soup and a small table that could be kept on the bed for convenience.
You had only fed him two spoons when the man asked, “Babe, are you okay? Your hands are shaking!”
“Oh?” You didn’t notice how much your hands were trembling as you were solely focused on feeding him so that you could leave the room as soon as possible.
“Ah… It’s nothing. I am probably cold, wearing this thin nightgown and all. The fire isn’t helping that much I guess. Don’t worry. I have brought warm clothes for myself too. Once you finish eating I will wear it.” You smiled nervously and held another spoonful of soup in front of his mouth.
Slowly — probably too slow for you — he finished the bowl and Duri came and took away both the bowl and the table as if he was just waiting for it outside.
You wiped your hand with the wet washcloth that Duri had brought and he brought another one which you used to wipe Jeongguk’s mouth.
After you were done, you put on the sweater that you had brought for yourself. You made the man lie on the bed and pulled the blanket over him, quite reluctantly so.
Despite there being three people in the room, all of whom happen to be best of friends, an awkward silence roamed inside its walls, and the only sound that could be heard loud enough as if it was happening inside one’s body, was the crackling of fire in the fireplace.
You looked at Hoseok and squinted your eyes which signalled both annoyance and a reminder to do his part. Hoseok, who had apparently zoned out, came back to his senses and abruptly started talking like a wannabe actor giving an audition, “Wonwon, I have something to talk to you about. Come with me. Jeongguk, please don’t fall asleep. I’ll bring your meds right away.”
You were in no position to criticise your best friend’s acting skills as you replied in the same amateur manner, “Oh, okay, Hoba. Let’s go. I’ll be right back, b-babe.”
Once you were in Hoseok’s room on the first floor, you could take the breath long needed. You released your body on his soft king-sized bed with a thump.
You looked around the maroon and gold themed room while lying down and said, “This room is huge! Probably twice the size of the room Jeongguk is in. Maybe even more! Ji-a is going to go absolute nuts over this space!”
Hoseok smiled while going over to a big glass shelf blocking one of the windows completely. That modernish furniture was certainly a misfit in this room preserving its classic medieval aesthetic.
Seeing that hopeful and shy smile on his face you couldn’t help but mumble, “But probably you won’t be able to live here after all.”
“Hm? What was that?” Hoseok asked. And you replied with the typical, “Nothing.”
“By the way, where are the workers for the renovation? I haven't seen anyone or heard anything since this morning.” You asked.
“I gave them a few days off. Seeing Jeongguk’s condition, some silence would do him good.” Hoseok explained, to which you just replied with a ‘hmm.’
The illusion that was relief came to an end as almost instantaneously you felt the nauseousness appear like a wave inside you just like this afternoon. Asking for the direction of his bathroom, you ran and vomited all that you had eaten for dinner in his sink. It was a gruesome sight.
“Wonwon? You okay in there?” You heard Hoseok asking from outside the door of the bathroom.
“Yea- Yeah I am fine. I’ll be out in a minute.” You replied, and letting a heavy and slow sigh escape from your lungs, you started cleaning the sink.
After returning the sink to its previous state, you washed your face. Your head hung low as you stood there to take a breather and let the water droplets fall without wetting your dress. Your whole head and throat felt like it was on fire, and you wanted to drink a shit ton of water.
You couldn’t understand why you were throwing up so much. If your pregnancy was the reason then you were fine yesterday even after barely eating anything and travelling the whole day. Then why was this happening today when you had full meals and ample rest?
Wiping the water from your face with your hand you looked up and saw yourself in the mirror that was fitted right above the sink which you had completely blindsided until now.
The reflection in the mirror looked more miserable than the reflection that you saw a couple or so hours ago. Your eyes were red and watery and you could see the stress taking form on your face clearly.
I have to get out of here.
You got out of the bathroom and saw your best friend standing there with worry cemented on his face. You gave him a faint smile and tried to reassure him, “I am fine! It’s just pregnancy sickness. Nothing more. I’ll be fine after a good rest. But first take off that towel! You’ll ruin your already balding hair!”
“I am not the bald one though.” Hoseok sing-songed the mockery with a smirk on his face and slightly grazed his hands over your bald head.
“Why you!” You chased after already running away Hoseok who stopped near his bed and nearly started wheezing and falling down because he was laughing so hard.
When you reached him he started saying, “Time-out, time-out,” with panicky hand gestures and squeaky voice - his face red as a tomato.
You stopped and sat on the bed - laughing hard yourself that brought tears to your eyes.
After both of you had calmed down, you instructed Hoseok to sit on the carpet near your feet, “Come, sit here. I’ll wipe your hair dry. Why did you even wash your hair at this dead hour of the night?”
“Ah! I went out to talk to the mechanic. He said that he’d leave for the city once the rain lets up and bring a tow. And on my way back I got poured on so I had to wash my hair.” He explained.
“And let me guess, you forgot that you can’t use a hair dryer here and you kept the towel on and forgot about it too.” You unwrapped the towel and let his long brunette hair that went well past his shoulder blades fall freely on his back. It still kept droplets trapped between its locks, so you began to make small partings in his hair and wipe them thoroughly.
You didn’t have to see it to know that your best friend was smiling sheepishly knowing full well that you had stepped on his deeds with right footing.
You held his hair up to wipe the wetness off his upper neck.
At the police academy they taught you how to not to trust even the most innocent looking person while investigating a crime. But they didn’t teach how to apply the same doubtful glance on your loved ones.
Your hand paused and so did your whole body. The same brand mark was on his neck. You felt deceived. Helpless. And suddenly, alone.
You gulped hard in an attempt to swallow the fear.
Play it cool. Play it cool.
“Y- you were telling me you had something important to say.” You asked.
“Ah! Yes. I was putting your clothes to dry on the clothes rack and I found a note in your pocket with some kind of a riddle on it. What is it?” He asked.
Shit! You had totally forgotten about the fortune card!
You felt your vision blur for a moment. And as abruptly it blurred, it became clear too.
“Oh, that? I bought a fortune cookie on my way here and it was inside that cookie. Honestly, I was pretty disappointed to see a weird note instead of a real fortune.” You huffed in disappointment.
“Just that? I thought you were on some treasure hunting shenanigan this time without telling me!” He pouted.
“As if!” You scoffed — the little playful push dissipated halfway before reaching his back.
“By the way, you said you have something important to tell me. What is it?” He asked after closing his eyes as you started back again to wipe his hair but this time more gently.
Noticing how you weren’t answering, he quipped, “Come on! Stop zoning out.”
“Huh? Ah yeah… Well, the thing is, Hoba, I discovered some really disturbing things today and I think you shouldn’t live here anymore. In fact, you should run away with me as I am planning to do so tonight.” Your hands stopped once again and your voice gained a serious tone.
If you want to play this game, let’s play this game.
“What?” He exclaimed loudly and turned around to face you, which made it apparent how shocked he was.
“Hoba… You have to listen to me very carefully.” You got down from the bed and sat in front of him on the carpet.
“Do you remember that I told you that I went to get water for Jeongguk this evening but couldn’t find any?”
He nodded.
“Actually, I didn’t go to bring water. I was in Lady Ruth’s study.” He gave you a ‘are you mad?’ look. And you instantaneously began to justify your action.
“I know. I know this sounds like I was trespassing, which technically I was, but hear me out! There I found this manor’s map along with a photograph of Lady Ruth and her husband. And the strange part is that their photo and the day they entered this mansion was dated in the year 1596!”
“You sure you saw it right?” He asked doubtfully.
“Are you seriously questioning a detective if she saw it right? The audacity.” You faked taking offense.
“You forgot to mention ‘private’.” He chirped back.
“That doesn’t make me any less of a detective. I would say I would be better if anything. So stop turning the conversation into the wrong lane!”
“Okay. Okay! I am sorry.” He laughed. “But seriously though, it could be Lady Ruth’s ancestor with the same name and face! Things like that happen sometimes.”
“That’d be a far stretch if we consider a few things - firstly why isn’t there any other of her ancestors’ pictures in the manor? Secondly, why do both of their husbands, as Lady Ruth has introduced to me, look the same and have the same name? And thirdly, she herself told me that her husband used to call her ‘Balam’ and this manor is named after her, which she had made obvious a few times. What other proof do you need? Hoba, I am telling you there’s something really wrong with the people here! And both you and I have to get out of here. Tonight!” You took a long breath after your long explanation to convince him.
“But Wonwon… all the things that you are saying are just theoretical. We don’t have solid proof! I have been living here for months now! And trust me, I haven’t seen anything out of place!” He looked at you as if you were trying to forcefully prove something that wasn’t even there.
“Hoba…” Your voice mellowed down and strangely, even though he wasn’t your best friend, you felt disheartened. “This isn’t like you at all… What changed in the last months that you are trying to imply that I am in the wrong? You used to be my number one supporter!”
“Wonwon…” He held your hand in an attempt to put balm on the bleeding wound in your heart.
You softly tugged your hand out of his cold ones and sniffled hard to stop your tears from coming out, “Fine! You want proof? I’ll give you proof! You remember what I told you about Jeongguk, right? In her collection room, I saw a miniature that was dated the day Jeongguk went missing and it even has its initials and Jeongguk’s car in it! I may be going crazy, like you think, but I know too damn well that it takes more than a day to create something as detailed as that. Come with me to the collection room. And look for one with the code starting with 21311017 and ending with PY. That’d be my dad.”
“Wha- Alright, let’s go!” He stood up and extended his hand to help you up but you ignored his waiting hand and stood up yourself.
“Where did you keep my clothes?” You asked.
“It’s in the bathroom of the room you were sleeping in. And your phone is in the drawer of the bedside table. You go first. I’ll see you in front of the study in ten minutes.” He replied solemnly and sighed a quick sigh.
You didn’t say anything back. On your way back, the steps of the stairs were darker than when you ascended it with him. Your steps felt heavy and the stairs and the hallway seemed to go on forever.
Finally entering your room, you went straight to the bathroom. The bathroom was almost the size of a big bedroom in any high class apartment in the city, and you found another smaller room within it where there was a small fireplace and several clothes racks.
You took your clothes and searched your pockets and let out a relieved sigh after finding the note in one of your pockets.
You changed into your previous outfit and sat on your bed to read the note again.
WHEN ROADS ARE MISLEADING AND FALSE WORDS ARE SPOKEN
IN THE RULING DARKNESS SOMEONE'S TREASURED THING MUST BE BROKEN
This time you could understand that it wasn’t a riddle rather a clear-cut instruction on what you have to do.
Who is that old lady? And why is she helping me like this?
No matter what, you decided to follow the path that you saw as your only way to escape and your single shot at rescuing Jeongguk.
You took out your phone from the drawer — it still had 15% battery but no reception yet — and kept it in the inside pocket of your jacket.
You inhaled and exhaled deeply and went to the man’s room.
He was lying down in the exact position you had left him. His eyes were closed and he was taking slow and steady breaths.
Your plan was to quietly take your haversack and get out of there. Before taking your haversack, you hesitated for a moment and contemplated whether you should take the sweater off of him since it was one of Jeongguk’s favourite ones and it made you sad seeing it on somebody else.
Get it together, Sowon. It’s not the time to be materialistic.
You gave yourself soundless slaps on your cheeks and picked up the haversack.
You looked at the person lying on the bed one last time before turning to leave, but your eyes made contact with each other. His emotionless eyes were looking at you directly and that startled you.
“O-oh Jeongguk! Did I wake you? I was just leaving! Rest up.” You laughed nervously.
“Where are you going, babe?” He asked; his voice was groggy - the voice that had made your insides feel like jelly on many mornings.
But tonight it made you sick.
“I am just going to give Hoseok a few things that I brought with me. Why don’t you go back to sleep? It may take long.” Come on! Say ‘okay’.
“It’s fine. I’ll be waiting. I want to sleep with you by my side tonight.” He smiled.
“But Jeongguk… You are sick!” You make me sick!
“It’s not like we’ll be doing something strenuous! Plus the bed is so big… I’d feel lonely by myself. With you here, why should I sleep alone?” He smirked. And you thought if he was real Jeongguk you would be in his arms already.
“Alright. I’ll be back in a jiffy.” You gave him a stiff smile and got out of the room.
The man pretending to be Hoseok was waiting for you outside of the study. When he noticed you with your haversack, he asked in bewilderment, “Are you already making a run for it?”
“Hush! Not yet. But who knows when I have to. You should have been prepared beforehand as well.” You whispered and entered the study.
The candles inside were halfway through their lives and the room was slightly darker than before.
“I couldn’t open that door earlier. Can you?” You whispered pointing to the ominous olive coloured small door on the photo-cluttered wall.
“I’ll give it a try.” He said and went straight to the door.
With his slight pull the door slid open leaving your jaw to hit the floor.
“Wow, Jung Hoseok! You are the mvp!” You praised him and gave him a light pat on his shoulder.
He held your arm and turned you around to face him before you could cross the threshold, “Listen, if I don’t find what you told me then you are going straight to bed. I am not going to go along with your fantasies any longer. Understood?”
His sudden declaration of terms and conditions startled you but you just nodded.
“Good! Also we must hurry! Duri will be here to change the candles before they run out completely! So you better hurry!” He whispered in an urgent tone and closed the door behind him after both of you got in.
It was your second time seeing the colossal structure but it didn’t fail to make you feel insignificant and amazed yet again. This time though the added dimness poured black ashes inside your stomach and you felt nervous.
You brought out the flashlight and walked ahead, “Hoba, I am gonna walk ahead and take a look at the miniature I saw earlier once more. You look for the one I told you.”
But the next second you paused and said, “Wait! On second thought, I am going to look for my dad’s miniature. I’ll make a sound once I find it. You stand guard here. Make a sound if someone comes.”
“Wait! Wonwon, what are you planning to do if what you said turns out to be true?” He asked. Even in the dim candle light you could see his expression — he was concerned and was feeling lost.
Nice acting.
You kept your hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him perhaps, or maybe yourself, “We’ll figure something out… as we always have.” You tried to smile.
You didn’t wait to see or hear his reaction and soon you were out of his sight, in the maze of shelves, towards the center.
Once you reached the heart of the room, you exhaled long and took a few quick breaths as if preparing yourself for the next step. You indeed came to look at the miniature Jeongguk was supposed to be ‘in’. But that was only a part of a bigger plan. You glanced at the snowglobe inside the glass cover. The rain had stopped inside the snowglobe and it was basking in the shining full moon light.
You quickly put your haversack on the floor and opened its mouth. You held the glass cover carefully and started lifting it. It was heavier and thicker than it looked. You had to be careful not to drop it. Keeping it on the table right beside the snow globe you quickly smuggled the snow globe inside your haversack. You slid the glass cover to the middle, since it was closer to the edge of the round table, in fear of knocking it over and making a noise loud enough to bring the whole mansion, i.e. just four other people, in this space.
Putting on the haversack you flashed the light inside the never-changing 21421002306JJ miniature. Gguk, I promise I’ll save you.
You looked at the other miniatures of recent dates and found the one that you didn’t mention to him about — 214204161001JH carved on the silver tag of a miniature of Balam Manor.
Hoba…
With hurried steps you went to the outer wings of the structure where you hoped you would find a miniature with your dad’s initials. You felt grateful that everything was managed serially so you just had to scan through the years quickly.
In the second wing from inside you found dates from the 2100s, and on the third rack from the bottom in one of the shelves — you couldn’t determine on which wall it was — you found what you were dreading until now - what if I can’t find it?
The 21311017333PY silver tag shone brightly as you looked up at it.
You whistled a particular tone that you had always used as a signal for your best friend since childhood, but it came out rather weak since you were trying to keep the sadness at the border of your throat.
He was by your side in an instant. He looked at the tag you were pointing at and gasped softly, “Oh my god… You were right. What should we do now?”
“Can… Can you lift me up, Hoba? I wanna take a look inside of it…” You softly whispered and looked at him with teary eyes.
He didn’t say anything but just knelt down so you could climb on his shoulders.
You quickly swiped off the tears, and keeping the haversack on the floor, you climbed on his shoulders.
With wobbly steps he stood up. You chuckled at that and chirped a quick apology to him.
The atmosphere inside the miniature was just as unmoving as Jeongguk’s. The woods were the same, the road was the same and the exit sign too was the same. There was a car in it as well. The only tiny difference in it was that it was your dad’s car that you had seen him drive off in for the last time.
“Hoba, I am done.” You whispered a little loudly.
He slowly lowered his wobbly body down and you got off. You got off and couldn’t get up from the floor. You wanted to ugly cry but all you could do was whimper while swallowing the sounds and bearing the pain inside your chest and throat.
He sat down beside you and hugged you. You clutched on the sleeve of his sweater anchoring yourself and buried your face in his chest.
The exhaustion that you were keeping at bay, trying not to let them overwhelm you, came crashing down on you again - taking you violently, drowning you mercilessly. But this time, you felt relief. You had found him. Now all that was left was rescuing him from that still, unnatural world controlled by evil.
“Wonwon!” He whispered. “I think someone’s here. It’s probably Duri. We have to get out of here!”
“What? But how? There’s only one way out!” You said sniffling as quietly as you could.
He thought for a moment and said, “You wait here. I’ll distract Duri and once he is out of the way I will come and get you, alright?”
You nodded. He gave you a reply-nod and went out. You swiftly and stealthily went behind him and hid by the door. As he closed the door behind him after getting out, you heard Duri’s voice, “Your grace, I believe I have already informed you that this space is off limits in her grace’s absence.”
You heard his cheerful voice, “I am so sorry, Duri! It totally slipped my mind. It’s just so fascinating. I was going to return now anyways. By the way, before you change the candles here, can you change the ones in my room? I have some work to do! Hm? Pretty please?”
You pictured Duri sighing and rolling his eyes in defeat, which you were sure wouldn’t be visible on his face.
“Yes, your grace.” You heard Duri say.
“I’ll be there in a sec!” He replied.
A few seconds passed and he opened the door.
You scrambled on your feet and quickly got out.
“Listen!” He held you by your shoulders. “Stay in your room for now. I’ll come at midnight and we will make an escape through the living room window.”
“But Hoba!” You said for no particular reason.
“Don’t worry. I know Duri’s surveillance pattern. We will make it. Together!” He gave your shoulders a light shake as if to transfer his resolution into you.
Taking your nod as a yes, he went to the first floor where he had sent Duri earlier.
•••
You entered the room and saw Jeongguk sitting on his bed.
“You sure took long. I thought you abandoned me.” Jeongguk said with a blank expression.
You didn’t have any excuse ready. With a sheepish smile you went towards him.
Strangely, you didn’t feel uncomfortable at all anymore. Rather you felt a very familiar feeling that you were so used to, that you were so craving for.
Reaching him, you hugged him - his head on your belly.
“I am sorry that I was gone for so long. We will be home soon.” You said softly and slowly ran your fingers through his soft curls.
“No.”
Jeongguk’s words confused you.
“What do you mean?” You asked.
“As long as you have this I can’t go anywhere.” His voice sounded cruel.
He put his hands on your belly, and your belly started growing, and in the blink of an eye it was the size of that of an eight month pregnant woman.
Before you could comprehend what was happening, Jeongguk’s hands grew claws and he ripped your belly apart and yanked out a bloody lump of alive flesh.
•••
You woke up with a startle. You didn’t realise when you had fallen asleep on the bed of your room while waiting to get out.
You rubbed your face - it was covered in cold sweat. You touched your belly and felt relieved.
You quickly checked for the time on your phone, desperately hoping it wasn’t midnight already and felt relieved that it was still forty-five minutes away.
You took out your desert eagle and the holster and tied it around your waist in case you had to use it.
Putting your haversack on your back, you slowly poked your head out of the room to check if there was anyone.
Relieved to see the empty hallway, you got out. With soft steps you reached near the next room’s door and peeked inside. Jeongguk's doppelganger was lying down but you couldn’t figure out whether he was asleep or not.
With similar soft steps you scurried and crossed his door and reached the end of the hallway.
According to the blueprint, there was supposed to be a door leading to it, and the only possibility you saw was the 6 foot long and 4 foot wide painting of the waterfall that was fixed on the wall at the very end.
You slowly started pushing it from one side but it didn’t budge. You tried the other side and got the same result.
You felt panic slowly starting to settle in the pit of your stomach. You looked at the torchlit yet dark hallway and hoped no one came now.
You looked up and down the painting, illuminating it with your flashlight. You began to feel its sides with your hands as far as it reached and looked for anything out of the ordinary. But there was none on either side.
You sat down on the floor and began inspecting the underside of the frame, and there you found a groovy pattern made for four fingers. You put your fingers except the thumb in it and gave it a push upwards. It made a clicking sound and the painting slid upwards opening a cavity its size.
You clenched your fist and pulled your elbow towards yourself as a victory celebration and stepped into the cavity.
You entered and turned to your right. The long hallway stretching ahead was lit with smaller fire torches than the ones in the main hallway. The unwavering shadows underneath them had the impression of lurking entities waiting to pounce. You looked behind you and saw a dark and narrow passageway that, according to the blueprint, led to the kitchen outside.
Logically, it was the shorter path to escape to the outside but there was also a bigger possibility of Duri being there.
Your escapeway was lying right ahead in the middle of the hallway — a door where the staircase in the main building was.
You saw a thick rope attached to the bottom of the painting from inside and its end was hung on an iron hook on the wall. You pulled the rope and closed the painting behind you, locking yourself inside the restricted passage.
Carefully you trod ahead — fast enough to get there quickly, slow enough to not make any noise, your barefoot helped.
The air in the hallway was dense and heavy with the smell of burning wax. The lights flickered subtly as you moved past each of them shifting the air. The more seconds you passed there, the more difficult it became for you to breathe properly. There was no visible outlet to let the air move freely and the years of trapped air latched onto your nose and lungs and was squeezing out more than you could take from it.
Not being able to tolerate it anymore, you ran the last bit and took a longer breath once you reached the door.
The garlic-like odour of phosphorus hit your nose sharply. You looked up and it became clear to you how the neon sign above the door was working when there wasn’t supposed to be any electricity in the manor.
You should have immediately unlatched the door. You should have immediately walked out instead of staring at the shining bright green neon sign nailed above the door that said - The Exit.
You should have made your escape before the voice so familiar to you could call you and say, “Wonwon, I told you we’ll make it together. So why are you leaving me behind?”
Your body stiffened as you stared right at the door refusing to acknowledge the source of the sound. You could hear his footsteps approaching.
You felt unnerved. Your eyes frantically looked for the latch. Once you found it, you dared to look at the direction of the dim hallway that you had crossed a while ago. You saw your best friend’s figure walking towards you. The monster lurking in the shadows turned out to be the wolf in grandma's skin.
Keeping your shaking finger on the latch, you yelled knowing full well it’s of no use, your voice hoarse in fear, “Stop right there. I know you are not Jung Hoseok.”
A sinister smile cut through the figure’s cheeks.
A hot tear drop trickled down your cheeks as you tried to stand your ground.
“Here I thought I was putting up a perfect act. But you fooled me. Anyways, I am glad I don’t have to pretend anymore. It’s annoying.” The figure said.
His voice distorted and you witnessed the most horrifying scene unfold in front of your eyes.
The slit that had occurred on the figure’s cheeks while smiling widened and you saw your best friend’s skin getting ripped apart - first the face, then the skull, then the full body in half through the middle - slowly, like a flimsy cloth.
You desperately tried to open the hundreds of years old latch. Duri freed himself from Hoseok’s skin that fell on the ground like a wet rag and dissolved into Duri’s body like slime.
The skin on your palm started burning.
Duri started running towards you and his body began to disfigure in a gruesome manner — his back hunched, his arms grew longer, crossing his knees, his legs bent like an animal and he grew claws on both hands and feet. His hairless body was grey in colour and there was pure cruelty in his glowing lidless eyes and lipless mouth where only long and sharp teeth were visible.
Your mind couldn’t focus on anything else except for the impending danger and the latch that needed to be opened.
The moment you fully unlocked the latch, you found yourself flying. Duri had grabbed your haversack and had flinged you to the opposite wall.
Your side hit the wall and you fell on your back. You realised you’d have broken a few bones if you had been thrown any harder. Due to the impact, your flashlight broke, leaving shattered glass pieces on the floor.
A series of coughs escaped your lungs and you sat up only to see that Duri was holding your haversack.
No no no no no no.
Panic spread across your body like a wildfire. If Duri got his hands on the snow globe then all of this would be for nothing. You quickly took out your gun and aimed at Duri.
His face didn’t have the opportunity to show much expression but you could imagine that he was smirking mockingly at you while he said, “Your father didn’t teach you stealing is a bad thing?”
He took out the snow globe.
You gritted your teeth and aimed at his head and fired. It hit right above his temple, but to your horror, his skin absorbed the bullet as if you had just shot a viscous substance.
“You need to do more than that to hurt me.” His distorted voice echoed in the hallway.
You shot another round which hit his eye.
You didn’t hope for much and were ready to shoot another round, but it seemed to have an effect on Duri. It took him a second to come near you and the next second you were grabbed by your collar too tightly to even breath.
He smelt like swamps and rotten vegetables, which made breathing in his vicinity even more difficult for you.
“Humans.” Duri growled. “You are all so fragile and insignificant, yet you stop at nothing to prove your dominance over things that you can’t control.”
You coughed and struggled to get out of his clasp.
Duri’s grip on your collar lightened but he didn’t let go.
“You know what, your father probably thought of the same thing when he willingly entered the Devil’s Crest to rescue your uncle. Such a prideful little bastard. Leaving his family behind with the confidence that he will be able to get out. Aren’t you the same as him? Prideful, overconfident and rude.” Duri inched closer as his hurt dimmed eye began to regain its glow.
“Do not dare to speak of my father with your stinky mouth.” You barked.
At your retort, Duri laughed maniacally and let you go.
“You have got some nerve. Do you think your nerves will save you from the repercussions of hurting my eye?”
He took your hand and kept three silver tags on your palm that magically appeared in his big clawed hand. Those three tags belonged to Jeongguk, Hoseok and your father.
You looked up at Duri and he said, “Choose one of them that you want to save. I’ll spare his life. Choose very carefully. Because the unchosen ones aren’t going to have the most merciful deaths.” He started singing ‘eenie meenie miney mo’ and placed his index finger on each silver tag with each word.
You closed your eyes and took a sharp breath.
“Are you saying that my father is still alive?” You asked.
“Very much.” He replied. “Now tell me which two tags do you want to return?”
“What if I don’t?”
“Then one of them loses the chance to leave.”
The silver tags in your palms suddenly felt like they weighed a ton. They wanted to drag you down and bury you under the earth.
How were you supposed to make a choice that you had no right to make? How can you knowingly push someone to their demise? But…
But how can you deny someone their one chance at escaping this hell?
You longed to see your father.
Would I be able to see him if he gets to leave? You didn’t know.
What if I couldn’t escape? What’s gonna happen when he gets home and sees mom in the arms of another man? How will he react when he will know that I haven’t returned home in two days? Will he spend the rest of his life searching for me just like I did for him?
Jeongguk… How will Jeongguk live after knowing that I went missing while searching for him? How will he live after losing both his love and child?
A memory from a couple years ago hit your head. Both of you had gone on a foreign trip to New Zealand. On the second day, you were going to the Bay of Islands by bus. When you reached there, your keychain fell off and went under the seat while you were standing up to get out. You had told Jeongguk to go ahead and get the luggage from the bus bunker while you got the keychain. But the keychain had rolled off quite far. And the bus, not knowing you were still inside, had driven off as soon as both of your luggage was off of it.
You managed to get off at the next stop just ten minutes away and take the return bus. But even though you had consoled Jeongguk over the phone that you were fine and you were returning, when you reached where he was, he hugged you so tightly as if you would disappear if he let you go. And his silent tears wetted your dress. He had always been such a worrywart.
Would he be okay?
You wondered how Hoseok was doing inside the cage called the Balam Manor. He was probably on the verge of losing his spirit. He had always been good under pressure but never good when he was lonely.
How would Hoseok’s parents feel about losing their son? How would Jiwoo cope with losing her brother? How would Ji-a live with shattered dreams in an empty home? Can I face them after pushing Hobi to certain death? What about Jeongguk’s parents? Can I face them if I do not choose Jeongguk now?
What would dad have done? He probably would have chosen the one with the better chance at a good life. And at this moment, it seems to be…
You picked up Hoseok’s with your other hand and silently gave back Jeongguk’s and your father’s tags back to Duri.
“That was fun. Though I was expecting a stream of tears, these few drops are good too. You are a smart one, aren’t you? Now you won’t have to go back and answer your boyfriend's family and your mom why you didn't choose their son and husband. Now sit here like a good girl until I come back.” Duri said and turned back with the snowglobe. The sigil on his neck was bright like burning coal.
“Are you really going to let Hoseok leave?” You shouted behind him.
“Of course, since we need an empty space anyway for you. But I can’t guarantee if it’s Hoseok or his body that’s going to lea—”
Duri couldn’t finish his sentence as you hit his neck with the fire torch that you had taken out of its place by flinging your haversack at its bottom.
You emptied the rubbing alcohol bottle from the first aid kit on him that you had taken out from your haversack before flinging it.
Duri screeched an ear piercing cry in pain as his head caught fire, and he tried to put it out by slapping his hands profusely on his head.
Taking the opportunity, you grabbed the snowglobe that had fallen on the floor and ran for the door.
Despite being in pain, Duri ran behind you to catch you, but you had already crossed the threshold of the exit. Judging by the fact that the snowglobe didn’t get a single scratch on it even after falling on the floor with such an impact, it could only mean that it needed even more brutal force to break. There should be a field past the door and if you could just enter the woods beyond it somehow, then you would be able to find enough time to break the snowglobe.
You shut the door behind you and looked ahead.
What?
You were back in the hallway that you had just ran out from a moment ago. You had entered through the door that you had just left through.
You looked around yourself and found only yourself in that empty hallway. Duri wasn’t there. Then you noticed the fire torch that you had flinged a while ago — it was intact in its place.
Your haversack wasn’t anywhere to be seen either.
You looked back at the door. It had the same neon exit sign on top of it.
Is this the missing exit sign from the Balam Manor miniatures?
If I go back through this door then Duri will surely catch me. I have no choice but to run inside the manor.
Without wasting any time, you ran towards the painting through which you had entered. But when you got out of it, you found yourself in complete darkness. You went back to the secret passageway and shot at one of the fire torch holders. It fell loose and the fire torch fell on the floor. You took it and reentered the mansion’s main hallway. You were taken aback upon noticing you were in the right hallway instead of the left one.
But that wasn’t what surprised you the most. It seemed like you had entered a different mansion altogether. The interior was in ruins and was covered in years of dust, dirt and cobwebs. You slowly walked through the filth. You had nothing on yourself except the snowglobe and the gun. You must find an instrument to break the snowglobe soon.
You came across rooms that you hadn’t seen before and it all seemed haphazardly placed. The paintings on the walls had lost all their glory to silverfishes and moths. Your feet left deep prints on the innumerable unsweeped layers of dust on the floor and your bare feet wiggled in them.
After walking for a few minutes, you reached where the living room was supposed to be, but there was just an empty space and a rectangular opening in the floor through which a staircase went further downstairs.
Is that the basement?
You noticed a faint light coming from inside it. Conflicted on whether you should go check out the source or not, you stopped short on your track.
It could very much be Duri or… a survivor.
You decided that you would just take a peek and run back if you sensed any danger.
With careful steps you descended the stairs. You ended up in a well-lit and short hallway through whose middleway there was an arch-like structure that led to another hallroom with no door.
You saw a figure kneeling on the floor in a defeated position with his head hanging low.
His outfit, his short hair was all too familiar to you.
You kept the snowglobe near the arch just in case and approached him cautiously.
His bare neck had no branding on them.
You gasped in a struggle to breathe as tears welled up in your eyes and you called out-
“Hoba?”
— © 2024 apotatomashedbybts, all rights reserved. Reposting or modifying of any kind is not allowed. Translations are not allowed.
#bangtanarmynet#kwritersworldnet#networkbangtan#bangtanoasis#btscreaturescoven#thebtswritersclub#fic: eleutheria#jeon Jungkook#dailybusans#busanboys#bitemeval#libraryen#jungkook#monfics#useryoonqiful#eoieopda archive#useromy#usertaeyungie#jungkook fanfic#jungkook angst#jungkook ff#jungkook horror#horror au#jungkook imagine#jungkook series#jungkook scenario#jungkook×reader#Jungkook fanfiction#original writing#demonic entity
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NIVI OMFG!!! CHAPTER 11 update?!
Okay I was the anon wayyy back that said you should include a scene where Azzi and Paige get into an argument about Stephie, and Aszi calls Stephie “my daughter”… yup you did your big one there 😭 it was so simple (stupid soda LOL), but had the effect that it needed to! Poor Paige, just a reminder about reality and how truly, Stephie is Azzi’s daughter first and foremost and not theirs 😭😭
Okay chapter 11 review time!!!
- holy shit, you writing P’s first W game and the fact that (ofc) it was against DC, and Azzi wasn’t there?!?! Idk why but I was holding out for her being there, like eventually coming at the end, and the fact that she didn’t is sooooo sad for Paige 😭 like poor Paige (I think my mind said “poor Paige” so many times throughout the chapter LOL), but I know that’s gonna stick with her forever
- DREWWWW. Nah man I’m sorry but Drew is just real! Call him a Pazzi hater rn, but he’s just looking out for his big sis! That scene of P in Drew’s room and Drew remembering that whole event… yeah that hit hard and made me cry fr fr 😭 I wish I could hug Paige lol
- the yapping comments about Paige?? How she was always a yapper, and then one day it just… stopped. Yeah girlie was broken and fr picked up the pieces and Drew was there and helped her do it. I can see why Drew resents Azzi now and I don’t fault him
- AND THEN AZZI ASKING PAIGE IF SHE’S FORGIVEN HER?? AND PAIGE DOESN’T SAY ANYTHING?? I would’ve genuinely been surprised if Paige said that she’s fully forgiven Azzi. I don’t think Paige has and I don’t think Paige has even fully processed what happened to them. I think she had to cope by blocking out what happened to them, rather than fully accepting it. And obvs, you can’t fully heal or forgive when that’s the case
- and then the ending, Azzi and Stephie hearing about Paige and her (what used to be) ultimate plan of getting to the Liberty?? That’s a big yikes, especially since Paige didn’t even tell them firsthand. Like idk how they’re all gonna recover from that.
Overall, I’m ngl, Azzi gave opp energy 😭 and I love Azzi down bad and obvs this chapter was from Paige’s POV, but man I am hurting for Paige LOL. My review and thoughts are already long as shit so imma stop now. But thanks again Nivi for the wonderful chapter! It was well worth the wait! (PS: Pls give Paige a big hug for me lol)
Ah omg friend that was you? Well I'm glad I did that justice. I wasn't initially sure if that was gonna happen in this chapter specifically but it made sense and unfortunately when it rains, it pours.
- I did actually consider maybe having Azzi come in but a) I already established that Azzi hasn't gone to see Paige play till the all-star game and b) I think if Azzi had actually tried something those first couple of months, the breakup never would've lasted this long.
- Drew's reaction is loosely based off of what I think my little brother's reaction would be which is basically that he'd be hella protective and honestly consider how much Drew has seen, it's definitely the right reaction in line with his emotions. I think when you see an older sibling, especially one that's so strong, break like that, it leaves an impression.
- Paige basically hasn't ever given herself time to think about what happened. She had basketball and in the middle she had Olivia and then eventually it was all Azzi and Stephie. She's never given herself the opportunity to really get closure within herself about the breakup.
- Ah maybe they don't recover? Maybe some things just aren't meant to be?
Eyyy not too much on Azzi but no I get where you're coming from. She definitely did a number on Paige but hopefully you'll all feel a little more sympathetic when get more of Azzi's perspective on everything.
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hi cubeguy i sent u an anons a while ago that i dont use tumblr but i periodically check ur blog bcus it specifically rocks & im back. i listened to an album u recommended on here but im curtailed by the character lim to give a review so i typed out a real time extremely long reaction to the songs LOL definitely the logical nextstep. its @ pastebin.com/Ejd8E9VX idk if im allowed to link shit on tumblr?? anyway i hope to get around 2 other musiks u like bcus i lovedd this btw its get to heaven that i listened to THANK U 🎀🙇♂️💋💗💗💗
HEY YOU HAVE AN AWESOME WAY OF TALKING ABOUT MUSIC. GRINS SO MUCH. i’m glad you enjoyed gth it’s so so special to me genuinely the album of all time …. my favorite songs off it are s/s/w/d the wheel and blast doors Lways a joy to see someone go crazy about them
^ really fond of this descriptor here also i think it succinctly puts a lot of what i love about ee’s songwriting down into words…. the weird entanglement of love and hate and confusion and clarity it’s a very very special moodset
also YEAH the way you described the vocals…. the early everything everything albums play a lot with like. roughness and scratchiness and the kind of ‘animalistic’ register of the human voice. (honestly everything before raw data feel. this is literally because the singer just decided to learn how to sing in high registers without falsetto for the first time which is like cool but also AUGH i miss that old sound
OK SO the thing about this bit
absolutely YES the thing about get to heaven is that it’s literally just like. a complete album of bangers. going down through their other stuff is gonna be a little more rocky, you might enjoy the like once-per-album weird slow ballads you might not, even though i’m lazy about listening to some of their weaker stuff when i do go through the entire albums i still find a lot of quirks in the instrumentation or lyrics that manage to impress me. i’d recommend delving into either man alive or arc next those are basically on par with gth although a bit more weird and morose? if you’re feeling it id then recommend raw data feel which oscillates more around pop/new wave but still has some really interesting musical constructions, gets extremely electronic and synthy…. a fever dream is like a 50/50 split between really long slow songs which are just Fine and really fast heavy bangers. just go listen to notln, can’t do, desire, good shot, run the numbers and ivory tower LOL. uhhhh reanimator is arguably their weakest album probably the most unremarkable but it’s also like my second favorite right after get to heaven. it’s weird and glowy and flimsier than their other tunes. that enchants me i guess…. they’ve also got an upcoming album that once again seems to be more pop oriented, cold reactor is the best of the singles they’ve released for it yet. what else. there’s like a youtube playlist out there of demo/outtakes/non album stuff that you can find real easy, there’s some really good stuff in there. personal favorites are the come alive diana demo, even the dogs and dna dump
ok so the fucking thing about the “lore” of this album. there technically isn’t any and most of ee’s albums are a per-song thing usually revolving around like. modern social commentary. the genius pages for most of their songs have like. direct songwriting annotations by the band and explain the thought process behind them. however for gth there’s also like a small layer of overarching lore about this one guy called thomas silhouette as a character. he’s not so much the crux of any narrative or presence as much as he’s just like. funny anagram arising from a lyric in fortune 500 that gets alluded to in later albums because he’s loosely representative of a lot of themes that get tackled in ee songs like capitalism and dread and shit like that
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oh i have been tagged in a thing. ty @yugonostalgia2019. time to overshare
3 ships: Hmmmm ok I gotta list Taylor x Lisa, their dynamic makes me go absolutely feral without fail. Honestly I don't even need them as a ship I just love how horrible and amazing they are for each other. I am limiting myself to one Worm ship here, despite how much it pains me, but I shall provide brief descriptions for the other ships for the people who don't know the non-worm stuff here. Marina x Pearl from Splatoon are so damn cute and I adore them. Nepotism baby punk soundcloud rapper x runaway genius former child soldier military engineer is honestly just 10/10, and they're just so good! I swear to god if the DLC doesn't have a 20 minute cutscene of lesbian cephalopod kissing I'll riot. Splatoon is my biggest fandom besides Worm which is kind of hilarious to me considering the sharp difference in tone. Third ship... hmmm, The Doctor x River Song. I just think it's genuinely such a sweet concept and wonderfully executed, two time travelers who are in love but keep meeting each other in the wrong order so their experiences and knowledge of the other don't match up is tragic and great and I nearly cried at their final episode. Honestly just been a River Song fan forever too, she's eternally my transition goals.
First ever ship: Ohhhhh gosh this one is lame. Back when I was a wee lass in middle school browsing FF.net endlessly, my main fandoms were Pokemon and Super Smash Bros. I flat out didn't realize that you could ship anything except a man and a woman because like, no one told me, and I kinda was just not a fan of romance because I thought it was always forced in stories (I was right about that tho). But then I read a Smash Bros fanfic that had Lucina and Palutena shipped and I was just like... damn, women can kiss? That sounds so cool. Shame I can never do that. And so I read the shockingly large number of fics shipping those two because it was the only wlw ship I knew existed.
Last song: I don't actually listen to music that much. Last song is uhhh... the Monster Sanctuary PVP Theme I guess due to playing Monster Sanctuary PVP. If we're talking actual music, I think my sister forced me to listen to some Taylor Swift song recently? Idk what it was but I think the album was called 1984.
Last movie: I also don't watch movies much! Uhhhhhhhhh I think it was Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No. Might have been a different one? The Sharknado movie that ends with them crashing down to Earth inside of a shark after fighting them off from a satellite and one of the characters gives birth while coming down inside the shark and the baby cuts its way out with a chainsaw before the mom gets crushed by falling debris. Sorry for spoiling, I know everyone was really looking forward to watching Sharknado 3.
Currently reading: Making my way through the Snapshots series of Splatoon fics which are so fucking good. For published stories though, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight for a class. Thinking about rereading Worm and posting about it but I gotta beat the Lakesbian copy allegations.
Currently watching: I'm don't really watch anything when I'm on my own, I prefer to read in almost all situations. When I go home though, I watch One Piece with my sister because it is nice to spend time with her and she's very passionate about the show.
Currently consuming: Nerds Gummy Clusters. I regret every bite but I bought this shitty bag of candy so I gotta finish it. Fuck these are terrible.
Currently craving: Mini Chewy Sweettarts. They're my favorite candy and I have a massive sweet tooth so I've been craving them, but I swear every single damn store in a mile radius stopped stocking them and is now selling "Sweettart gummies" or "Sweettart chewy fusions" or "Sweettart ropes" or "Sweettart rope bites" and that is not what I desire! Where is my delicious mouth hurting candy ;-;
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ok one last post about the Project to truly exorcise it from my brain. just some process/design thoughts (also now that it's done if you want to read my liveblogged whinging for whatever reason here it is)
first off some stats because i kept stats like the nerd that i am:
time wise making this animatic took about 93.5 hours give or take (thanks procreate process replay) spread across exactly 2 months
anyway when i said i finished this project mostly through stubbornness and sunk cost fallacy this is what i meant lol like a lot of my thought process through this was just 'no way in hell am i letting some of these drawings disappear into my drafts forever'
on average each frame took about 2 hours 45 minutes but thats a bit of an overestimate since i forgot to count some of the animated bits from the first two lines (so id guess the actual number is more like.. 2 hours 20 minutes?)
btw that line with the starry apparition fading away? 12 hours total
the single longest and most painful frame to draw was the one of the crew walking through tu'narath (5 hours 30 minutes) because a. perspective b. architecture design c. for some reason i put a lot of detail into rendering the armour on all the githyanki i drew why on earth did i do that
(its especially painful bc that frame was one of the ones that didnt... feel like an important enough moment in the actual story of the show to be worth capturing the way the wish or even like, endellion is, i just needed to put that there for the storytelling flow or whatever of the animatic itself and it bothered me so much)
one other interesting little mishap was that i did all of these on canvas size 1080x720px (so that's why the youtube resolution isnt particularly high lmao) which is why procreate let me put an absolutely absurd amount of layers in one canvas (all 8 frames of with memories projected on the astral sea were done on one canvas. 159 layers) because the layer limit for that canvas size is 400 BUT. i accidentally started the starry apparition fade on an A4 canvas (my default canvas size for like all my normal fanart) and i only realised after finishing all the lineart and starting on colouring because i hit layer limit so i had to resize the canvas which did... interesting?? things to the lineart resolution
also if youre wondering how i drew K-LB that many times in something resembling timely fashion the answer is i sacrificed some... amount of sleep to 3d model and rig him in blender which. honestly? i consider it a roaring success
splitting the frames by bar was a Choice and certainly a choice ive.. had doubtsTM about but thats the kind of thing you cant really change without bringing the whole project crashing down so if the frames seem to move a bit too fast im so sorry there was really not much i could do there
idk if people actually noticed the very very tiny drawings of the crew moving around on the ship in the 4th line especially since they sometimes get obscured by the subtitles but the REASON for that is in my original drawings the subtitles went in the top left corner but they kept conflicting with other stuff so i just gave up and threw them to the bottom (also i originally included the chinese lyrics but then i got lazy lmao)
anyway that little detail like VR-LA angstily looking at the sea reminiscing about the JourneyTM and the crew sort of appearing along with the memories of their adventures together was one of those things that seemed SO COOL in my head but once i actually execute it its like. hmmmm not sure if that worked out the way you thought it would buddy. also the tiny crew was EXTREMELY hard to draw so put that down as another point in 'me subjecting myself to deeply painful and out there compositions for no good reason'
anyway i called this my magnum opus but i do actually have some thoughts about another one (a companion piece, if you will) for another song by the same band because now that i know what capcut can do im.. really itching to try something a little different because this like powerpoint presentation style? fully a product of me using iMovie as my only available video editing software for the past like 7 years of my life
#rwd#asto speaks#re: the projectTM#one last time using this dumbass tag lmao#honestly? also put another point in 'i worked on a project for so long it became just a Project to me and proceeded to get#absolutely blindsided by the emotional affect it has on people'#2 months. 2. months.#whatever actual emotion this idea was originally trying to draw from is long fucking gone buddy#like i did manage to re-experience some of it looking at the finished product but#i appreciate yalls screaming a lot i just truly did not anticipate it LMAO
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hiii i absolutely adore your poetry known poem, but i really want to know more about it,, could you talk a it about it please...
Hi! And yes, I would love to. You're my first ever ask, so this is kinda cool :D
Beware, this is very long.
Okay, this is basically a sort-of-analysis of my own poem. If you want to analyze it yourself, just remember to tag me because I'd love to see it!
Anyway, so I wrote it during the aftermath of a panic attack. So, I was calming down from being very distressed about something and poetry helps me. So I thought: maybe it's poetry time? And my brain agreed, it was poetry time.
I first came up with the title. My brain was set in what I call "poetry madness mode", which is whenever I end up writing poems. Idk where the idea of Poetry Known came from, but I thought it was cool so I just went with it.
From there, I wrote the first stanza. Originally, I was only going to do the one lil stanza, but then poet brain said 'nah you aint done yet' and I wrote more. Idk why exactly, but apathy has the colour of grey to me. So that's where that came from. The line, "But you, my dear, are new to me" is kind of me saying 'I havent seen you before, or maybe it's just been a while'. You'll see why in a moment.
Next stanza: originally the line, "Ink so thick, it bends" was going to something different, but it just didn't sound right for the poem. It originally was going to be, "Ink so red, blood so thick- it bends". Maybe I'll save that line for another time. Mostly this stanza is about me writing in general, how it feels to write in present time.
The third stanza was a bit of an allusion to past childhood experiences, an indirect reference to Child Me lying to myself about my situation as a way to cope. Deep down, I knew it wasn't true or good, but I so desperately wanted to believe it so I choose denial over honesty.
The fourth stanza... I honestly have no clue where that came from, nor what it means. All I know is that it hits hard for me, and idk why.
The next stanza, number five: it's more of a reference to how writing was for me in the past, as a kid. How I treated others. How I contradicted myself. How my belief of how people are was contradicting itself, and how I didn't stay true to it deep down. More of a reference to middle school me. I find it almost poetic, in a way.
Stanza Number Six: this is literally just me calling myself out on my past bs. My apathy was a mask to hide feelings and protect myself, but it never truly worked well. It's the "remains of a cremated past" because it's all the words/rules I was taught in a not-great household. And I thought, for the longest time, that was just how it normally went. And I was terrified of breaking those 'rules'.
The seventh stanza was me saying (again) how I wasn't as apathetic as Past Me swore they were. I was so convinced I was 'thunderous'- creepy and scary, and kind of an asshole. That's how I saw myself, as a bad person. But I was still incredibly kind and generous, and I couldn't bear the thought of being mean to others. If I was so dark and horrible, then why would I skip class to help others through a bad episode? Why did I compliment and remain kind to all the f*cked up and rude kids, the ones who almost never showed me kindness in return? I gave light to others even when I couldn't spare any at all. I was a safe place (I learned later in high school because those I helped literally told me) to others.
Number Eight: idk what this one is about exactly, but I'm pretty sure it's just me addressing Past Me. Saying that I was my own friend, in a way. Not much to add otherwise.
The final stanza, number nine: it's short and simple, and I really like this little couplet. It's basically telling myself that when I'm ready to look at myself and figure myself out, when I'm ready to be honest about/with myself- then I will find solace. I will be at home, truly at home, and I'll be safe and loved and okay. That I will get what I give others, one day. Someday, whenever I'm ready to start that journey.
Overall, this is basically me talking to/about my past self and my misguided child self.
I really liked how it turned out.
Thanks @fayestales for the ask! If you have any more questions or things you wanna say, just ask away.
See ya around!
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Thank you for your thoughts about my question concerning why BTS fans seem obsessed with what EXO members are doing even to the point they're complaining about Jin having to go serve yet Kai and Sehun don't and it's so stupid: Jin born in 1992, Kai and Sehun born in 1994. Make it make sense. Those are the only two left to enlist and they're not even 30 yet (global age) Anyway they keep up with EXO stats and unprompted will bring up BTS paved the way and EXO fans are "crying" about it lmao I am so confused because most EXO fans who aren't BTS fans don't give a fuck about what BTS is doing. Most of us are just waiting for a full group comeback, the first in almost 5 yrs lol if Lay is involved, that's even longer since we had an OT9 comeback. I just don't get the obsession they have needing to be concerned with what the "flops" are doing if BTS are so much more than Kpop according to a lot of them. It's so annoying to see the nonsense because even though I used to be a big BTS fan, I can honestly say i truly do not care what they're doing, or winning or anything like that. I don't keep tabs on them. Their success has nothing to do with my favorite groups and the quality of music I have been enjoying from them. BTS can go on to win every award until the end of time, it changes nothing for me so I really don't understand why they feel awards and numbers makes a hill of beans to how music fans enjoy music and why they think it matters to everybody.
Anyway, I also asked about WayV lol Did you skip them purposely or you forgot? 😄
Also is SHINee queer??? Lol
I'm gonna talk about WayV, the rolls royce of NCT, on a separate post (hopefully tomorrow). I think they deserve the spotlight.
SHINee are queer? Did I say that? Must have been a typo.
Why do army obsess over so-called flops? I think it's about validation. It makes them feel really good to make other groups of people ostensibly feel bad. They're not music fans (the ones you see behaving like this). They're people who are part of a cultish subculture that gains energy and attracts attention through different forms of bullying and manipulation. It will be interesting when someone makes a documentary about this.
Idk I'm a music fan. I listened to 1.2K different artists last year, which is actually low for me! I've been close to 1.5K before. Anyhow, I like to pay attention to different artists and enjoy what they have on offer. In fact I just caught up on Jackson Wang's Magic Man series and that shit is cray. Loving how balls-to-the-wall he went. I just don't think it's at all interesting to focus on streams or accolades. What I care about is how the music, and the performance since we're talking about Kpop here, hits me. In that sense I think it's good to keep up with different artists. What's not good is doing it just for a sense of superiority. That's not contributing to respectful environment in which art thrives. That's capitalistic nonsense that crushes creativity. Hmm, why is that familiar?
Roll on EXO reunion! I want to see what they got.
#lol now I'm just thinking of rick and morty show me what you got#why is there no meme of that?#anyway I saw Lay wish his fans a happy new year like a week late and that was cute and funny#EXO ask#EXO chats
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Wait THE PONYS SO CUTE??? WTF?? NAME?? Also I’m crying I could be blind so correct me if I’m wrong but is that also a pile of horse shit in the middle pic but either way SHSSH SO ADORABLE those big eyes staring into my soul
AHAHA dw whenever I think abt that gif I think about you <3 but also you’re actually serving the side character community fr ykws funny I was just thinking about rereading bfb Otoya because I was somehow reminded of those expensive cupcakes
LMFOAOAAO YEAH CLOSE ENOIGH HES THAT ONE COORDINATOR CONTEST JUDGE hes indeed elderly and he’s at evened contest and his only comment is some rendition of “remarkable” LMAOOO (dw idr his name either)
Crying there’s so many hair style options they rlly had to go with the ugliest ones
When I read wc my first thought was word count then I realized that didn’t make sense and was like oh ok World Cup? And then I thought abt it again and realized that’s also wrong now ik you mean wildcard goodbye
LMAO FR Karasu with his jaw on the floor like “you didn’t want this baddie????”
YUKI LOOKED SO GOOD IN THAT STREET SOCCER PANEL??? Why didn’t they ever elaborate more on that skill in the main series though they also barely did anything with his gyro shot like HELLO?? Are we not gonna talk abt how insane that skill is I need like spinoffs for every major side character atp epitabieitaken when
No bc wc and Kunigami exploration has sm potential…Lowk I see kaneshiro getting flamed everywhere from ppl being like “this is shit guys” and uhh idk how reliable their info is bc it’s. Yk. The internet fandom. But apparently kaneshiros also focusing a lot on some really weird random other series which is why people are like “you’re writing about the wrong balls!!!” (It’s apparently called like ball girls or something?? I have no idea lowk it’s supposedly really weird from what I’ve seen in the posts I’ve scrolled past)
REAL pause you’re so right abt that it’s giving jjk culling games arc…I remember first reading that and they kept introduce relatively irrelevant (or at least imo irrelevant LMAO) side characters that we barely ever saw again or were rlly just randomly tossed in (im still salty about him never elaborating on Inumakis backstory like bro we literally got everyone except him) SO REAL he should’ve gatekept the ng11 and tbh that would’ve given more opportunities for more bllkers to actually play and evolve like with the ng11 in its like they’re too good that only the top players can keep up but it leaves no room for other people who have potential to evolve or anything like…ig that’s like half in line with bllks idea of like survival of the fittest but idk i personally would’ve enjoyed seeing more characters we alr know get developed instead of having them just be dropped off the face of the planet
Kurona was truly SO random…it makes me wonder if maybe it was just because they thought yuki didn’t fit the popular character trope enough so they shoved kurona in (from what I’ve seen kurona is way more popular than yuki I lowk dk why though) I think we just have the same brain because I literally could not care less about the u20 players (sendous spotlight should’ve just ended in the match showing how the bllkers beat him and went past what Japan had deemed to be their number one striker/ace) that ALSO would’ve given more space do develop of more characters I honestly don’t rlly vibe with how they mixed the teams like that it would’ve been interesting to see u20 as potential rivals maybe but just flat out inserting them into bllk seems weird…like they could’ve held a tournament later on after the whole bllk program to decide who from u20 stays and who else goes I just wish they gave more bllkers the chance to actually train and do shit in bllk (this rant is getting LONG)
HEVDSH it’s ok this is a Barou household not a Kunigami one
You fr just subconsciously had these parallels cooking it’s just embedded into your writing style also WAIT KARASU OLDER BRO you’re onto sth….imagine y/n’s first thought is “your hair kinda reminds me of my cousins/brothers” LMAOO reader having galvantula is fr like me grabbing one super effective pokemon against one elite four to carry me because I never catch pokemon of that type (i fr cannot remember off the top of my head which one it was but wtv) I’m crying the magikarp scam is really funny LMAOOOO
Plot twist pokemon govt is in cahoots w the evil team which is why they’re ass!! Anyways
Nagi’s growlithe rolling in the mud while chigiri and reos pokemon stare as they get groomed is so real (the mc team dynamic >>>>)
I need to go back into our convo and look and what you gave him bc I alr forgot I’m leaving this here as a mental note and I’ll come back to this but FR lowk if we’re following some of the bllk canon dynamics imagine they’re from the same town where the flying type gym is and the wanna hiori has is a product of his parents giving him a like top pedigree ducklett so he can become gym leader and then e4 and champion etc I can imagine him bumping into Karasu working with his reject pokemon and Karasu’s like damn that’s an extraordinary ducklett and hioris like I wish I could just have fun with a bunch of nice pokemon (now I’m imagining the ducklett has an attitude at first like those typical rebellious pokemon and it continues into the swanna phase until some point idk I’m getting too invested into this verse)
Ok that’s funny because I got like 80% of the way through Sun and then stopped playing LMAOO I’m already world building in my head this crossover is too peak…ok but WHO would cook their pokemon poffins I have some ideas but can’t fully pin one person
I WAS JUST THINKING THAT OTOYA COULD USE A CROAGUNK FOR TBAT PURPOSE wait I almost forgot that misty Lowk plays that role before croagunk is actually created?? Guys Tullia Otoya are just misty and Brock
NAGI AND READER IN A PERIOD DRAMA LMFAOOOOOO but REAL gotta Gatekeep to build anticipation (and to also not keep you on the grind like that your to do list would be never ending)
SHDGSHSHS crying I’ll be mentally preparing myself for more wild stories about your rizz and AWEE me fr when I scroll on tumblr and see a response to a long ass ask (our convo)
- Karasu anon
HE IS LITERALLY THE CUTEST SPARKLIEST PRETTIEST MOST ADORABLE PONY EVER literally whenever i get the chance to show him (he’s older and doesn’t leave the property where he lives anymore so we only do the shows that our barn hosts) the judges always tell me how adorable he is like he’s actually perfect (he’s also really lazy so he’s made my legs sooo strong just because of how much i have to push him along 😭) and yes that is in fact horse shit in the middle photo LMAOAO he was kept in his stall overnight so he didn’t get all gross and ruin his braids before the show 😩 his name is cloud (although he also goes by cloudie LMAAOOA that’s what i usually call him because he gives way more cloudie energy than cloud energy yk) and i literally love him sm 🤩 he’s like the polar opposite of the horse i owned in high school (he was an ex racehorse so he was HUGE) but i like not needing a step stool to groom him before my lessons so no complaints here
PLEASEEE i love how expensive cupcakes are otoya’s legacy KFFHSJA i can never walk past those overpriced whole foods cupcakes (not that i ever go to whole foods but ykwim) and not be like damn ik for a fact eita would buy those for me
HAHAHA i think he also has a program on the pokétch in oras like judging contests or smth?? iirc he’s also there in the games judging contests occasionally i just solely remember him from the pokétch but YEAH we’re thinking of the same dude skfhdjsjs
HELP if it makes you feel better i think i also use wc to refer to the world cup in a later paragraph so you weren’t too far off 😭
no because yk hollyhock karasu would definitely be like “no you don’t get it bro she’s lowkey insane” and bllk karasu would just be like “even better 😍” he is NOT going to fumble the bag
STREET SOCCER YUKI WAS SO COOL i almost wish they gave him a more rough and tumble backstory too like maybe he was from a worse area of the country and grew up just playing soccer on the street and getting in trouble until he was scouted for his good looks as a model and that plus his soccer skills were enough for him to move to a better city or something?? and once he escaped his previous situation he learned how to be super polite and kind in order to prove he’s better than his past and deserves a good life just as much as people born to it…it would also add some continuity if he MUST go crazy in NEL like it’s just him reverting to his childhood personality when put in a stressful situation instead of him randomly crashing out at isagi for no reason and then never doing anything again (with this backstory the reason why he’s chill post manshine would be a combo of him respecting isagi as well as doubling down on his efforts to remain calm and composed because the brief lapse made him feel very guilty and ashamed of himself…then an ego awakening that mirrors hiori’s [in an au where he replaces kunigami’s role in isagi’s two gun volley against pxg] is him realizing “wait i kind of NEED to be a bit of an asshole if i want to be a starter and make a true mark on the field” or something along those lines)
LMAOOO no because from what i know literally every other one of kaneshiro’s mangas besides bllk (lowkey including bllk) are batshit insane he’s kind of a weird guy lowkey 😭 honestly he’s doing a pretty good job with bllk though i don’t think it’s shit at all (especially compared to a certain manga that’s about to end atm) just there’s definitely things i would change too!! but at the end of the day it’s just an entertaining manga abt hot soccer freaks so it’s not that deep yk
100% all ng11 players should’ve been left until much later (excepting sae ofc because he’s there to serve a narrative purpose plus he introduces us to the whole ng11 concept) but anyways…as for the u20s agreed they should’ve left them all out to show how blue lock has surpassed them!! then ONLY exception is aiku (not just because of the oaeu he’s genuinely a good player) i would’ve liked to see him disappearing after the bllk vs u20s match (maybe he fucks off to sweden for a vacay or smth) and then when the u20 world cup team is announced he’s on there as he’s the former captain of the u20s as well as an absolutely INSANE defensive player…maybe ego contacts him and is like “ok bro icl you’ve got mad ego even though you’re not a striker wanna join the crew and not give up on soccer for good???” ALTERNATIVELY: it turns out he has dual citizenship so after the old u20 boys are kicked out and their soccer careers are ended or whatever he disappears and then we see him again in a u20 world cup match against sweden!! this could be a match where the aiku vs barou rivalry established in the ln is settled with barou getting his get back 🤩
LMAOAAO ig my internal self knows where home is (nagi) i can’t escape him 😩 and YES THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING TOO “my cousin used to use hair products to spike his hair up too 🥹” “tf does that have to do with me 😟⁉️” and then he literally adopts her as his baby sister 😭 it allows for plenty of karasu bonding and affection without him being a second lead and complicating things…also i think he’s going to be the one to find reader w barou’s body after her houndoom kills him so that’s a parallel for sure there ☝🏻 LMAOO no literally like i still remember my first ever pokémon game i could NOT beat the champion for some reason so i literally caught a random haunter, taught it destiny bond, and revived one of my other pokémon so when the champion’s last pokémon beat my haunter i still had one pokémon left and i was able to win DKFHSJSJSN that’s the vibe galvantula gives lowkey (in all honesty that’s why i picked it…i needed smth strong against water types because so many of readers pokémon [like donphan and houndoom] are weak to them but i ALSO wanted something that was strong against dark types because of barou’s all-dark type team and i didn’t want reader to have many basic pokémon which meant all of the fairy types were basically out and that only left bug!! however bug-grass is such a shitty typing because 4x weakness to fire is just 😰 and galvantula is the only bug-electric i think so that’s what she got!! but i have such a clear picture of the final fight with galvantula against barou’s sharpedo bro i wish it could be animated because it would be so beautiful 🤩)
HAHAHA magikarp/gyarados and aegislash are tied for craziest acquisition stories (i’ll talk more about aegislash’s in a sec) but basically a fisherman convinces reader she NEEDS a water type so she’s like “oh word ok what do you have” and he’s like “trust this will evolve into something powerful” and she’s like “aight bet” and gives him a (probably rare) pokémon in exchange for a MAGIKARP (cue karasu screaming at her for ten minutes straight and her being like “no it’ll evolve 🥺” and resident pokémon expert tullia being like “uhhh magikarp are almost impossible to evolve LMAO good luck”)
okay wait that could actually go hard…the pokémon government creating the evil team in order to make themselves look better + make people who have valid criticisms of the system unable to voice those concerns (“you think people shouldn’t be thrown into pokémon training without preparation or assistance purely to survive? YOU MUST BE PART OF EVIL TEAM”) i feel like corruption is touched on but it expanded as much in the anime and games (it is a bit in the manga iirc) it could be a really cool conflict that’s a bit deeper than the typical evil team wants to end the world scenario…it also kinda explains how they were able to find and utilize barou’s body in time despite being an “underground crime organization” that shouldn’t have as much funding as they do 😰 and if we go the murder route it’s also an explanation for how someone as strong as him was killed as well as another reason WHY they murked him (couldn’t have barou as champion because barou cannot be controlled) WAIT and maybe that’s why reo’s dad is champion instead of noel noa — noa is stronger but he believes that there should be changes with the way things are done so the government is like “yeah no way you’re going to be champion” and they literally threaten him into faking a loss when he tries to become the champion because they LOVE mr capitalism mikage being the champion as he’s very easily bribed to do and say exactly what they want???
team mc’s dynamic is SO FUNNYYY especially because the nagireo codependency is nipped in the bud as reader awakens nagi’s desire to battle relatively quickly so they’re all on equal footing (except for the fact that their crew is actually reo + his sugar babies you KNOW he’s paying for everything) they definitely have their own crazy adventures while they’re apart from reader and co too…another scene i can envision is nagi challenging reader to a battle and being like “btw i caught a new pokémon” and reader’s like “oh word 😳⁉️ me too” and she releases her little joltik expecting nagi to pull up w like a zigzagoon or smth else really basic and he just casually tosses out a cleffa (i think the clefable line is canonically from the moon in-verse) so she’s like “er wtf” and from the sidelines chigiri’s just like “yeah idk we were on a mountain and there was a spaceship and all…long story, super boring” meanwhile reader and co are like UM??? and it’s just never elaborated on what exactly happened and how nagi ended up with a literal alien on his team
okay wait karasu and hiori knowing each other from their hometown would actually be hilarious as well because imagine the way the whole fossil arc starts is reader and co find a fossil pokémon (maybe hiori’s amaura/aurorus??) and they’re like WHAT THE FUCK because what even is that and then reader is like “karasu what do we do 😰” and karasu is like “WHY WOULD I KNOW” and reader’s just like “idk you just always seem to know a guy” (kind of like how dads always “know a guy” for no reason) and karasu’s about to argue back when he’s like “wait…i actually DO know a guy 😔” and then they go and find hiori and the fossil arc begins after that…no you’re so real i keep coming up with little details for the verse it’s so FUN
ORDINARILY i would say barou is the poffin baker but for obvious reasons we can’t have that…lowkey yk what would be hilarious is gagamaru doing it 😭 i can imagine him foraging for berries and concocting something that just looks INSANE and no one wants to try it so he’s lowkey a hidden secret but yukimiya swears by him (most popular baker is ness but yukimiya thinks ness’s products are more placebos than anything and insists that reader and co go to gagamaru if they ever need anything because he’ll give them the real unfiltered shit w 0 preservatives and whatnot)
WAIT LOWKEY YES tullia and otoya are exactly like misty and brock (lowkey aiku kinda gives gary oak like he WOULD pull up to research sites in a red corvette with a bunch of random cheerleaders HAHAHA it definitely makes otoya fume too because that should be HIM)
THE PERIOD DRAMA IS BASED OFF OF AEGISLASH’S POKÉDEX ENTRY where they like use hypnosis and manipulation to control people and they used to be used as protectors of royalty in the past?? so basically there’s an abandoned aegislash that really wants a trainer and it senses nagi and reader’s vibes and is like “wait they lowkey could be the ones” so it kidnaps them and puts them in this week long hypnosis where they believe they’ve been isekai’d into a world without pokémon where reader is a princess and nagi is a knight who has to retrieve a magic sword in order to win her hand and they’re like WTF is going on but they decide that the best way to escape will be playing along with the plot (clearly without chigiri reo and tabitullieita there the combined brain cell count is like. two.) so nagi goes on this quest to get the magic sword but then he comes back empty handed because he realizes that the magic sword is actually the sword stuck in the stone #kingarthur in front of the palace so he goes to pull it out but he can’t??? and then he’s going to be killed on the spot for failing and for messing with palace property (it’s actually aegislash mad that he’s not worthy because he did it for selfish reasons) so then reader runs over and manages to pull the sword from the stone in time to stop whoever’s trying to kill nagi…then the crowd goes wild and they’re like all hail the new queen (another aegislash test) but she ignores them and puts the sword away to check on nagi because that’s all she REALLY cares about and aegislash is like “hold on she cooked here she’s like not selfish and is assertive and shit” and then she wakes up in her tent with a pokéball in her hand and tabitullieita are like “hello you’ve been missing for a week???” and she’s like “wtf no i just had a really weird dream but i didn’t actually go anywhere” but then she realizes that the pokéball (which she assumed was houndoom’s since houndoom usually sleeps near her) is actually a new one which means it’s a new pokémon she somehow caught?? so she releases it and tullia’s like “wow an aegislash 😮” but READER freaks out because the aegislash is actually the sword from the “dream”…let’s just say the next rival battle w nagi is a little awkward because he also thought it was a dream and didn’t even have proof it was real until reader quite literally throws the evidence in his face 😶🌫️
no because i’ve already done 15 requests for bllk since may and i have 12 more left to do PLUS my own projects so i think having them closed for a bit will be good!! and HAHA i will continue to entertain both fictionally and irl 🫡 our conversations are always lengthy but always entertaining fr wouldn’t trade them for anything!!
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101 Pinball World (Teyon, 2012)
who greenlit this and can i go back in time to get them to un-greenlight it
the game 101 Pinball World is a dsiware title that attempts to be 4 themed pinball cabinets from the comfort of your nintendo dsi. it fails at this. the word "game" is doing some serious heavy lifting also
it boasts 4 worlds with a total of 101 tables when combined, but every "world" is really just the same set of board with different coats of paint. your ball can get stuck in places it cant get out of without tilting (which entirely disables your flippers until the ball is offscreen) and its happened to me multiple times a game before. it has 3 save files if you want to subject your friends to it and promptly lose said friends over it. someone made a trailer for it and noted how you can get a slow ball, tilt the board, or even have Ball Immunity, the number one funniest thing about this title
the sound design is both lacking and overwhelming at the same time. but the worst part is the... music? do i call it music? does it count as music? does any of this matter? does it ever end? do we get some sort of retribution for the horrendous auditory crimes of 101 Pinball World? i can answer none of these questions. as if you can even hear the music over the atrociously-mixed sounds of flippers and bumpers and points screaming from the ds speakers
here is the "soundtrack"/torment, uploaded in a video by a definitely unremarkable person who definitely didnt make a game everyone was talking about in like 2018. no siree. never happened
youtube
mystmans commentary on the game is pretty on-point, speaking as someone who decided this game was a good thing to spend my precious dsi shop money on a decade ago. i still get the title theme stuck in my head from time to time, though, since thats like the 2nd best song in the game. theres only 5 songs in this entire 5-dollar game, by the way. and also it was 5 entire dollars
which means theres no reason to rank them individually /ref
5. wizard theme - hilariously garbage. "ah shit, someone killed the keyboard player." worst thing i think ive ever heard from the ds. its even worse in person believe me. this is not music
4. space theme - kinda bland? idk. its like one synth loop forever. could be worse though, wizard theme proves that real well. has a weird buzzing in the back that really makes my brain hurt. i like the little ascending-descending sounds! very fun i forgot about those
3. pirate theme - good song, but ABSOLUTELY not pirate music. this sounds more like a beta track from club penguin: elite penguin force. i bet if you changed the soundfont itd fit the penguin bill just fine
2. title theme - catchy but empty. its like how modern deco*27 songs feel to me: good melody and beat, hollow instrumental. used to be 7-year-old-mes jam though. BEAUTIFUL bassline. goddamn. just gimme this for the whole ost honestly. itd only get a little grating.
1. spooky theme - regularly gets stuck in my head, albeit a better version i thought of so im not tormenting myself forever. this is what a song should sound like. it feels like this was made first and then the devs started running out of time to get the game out. keyboard drones in the back kinda give me a headache. but tbf that happens with all of the music and this is just the one that does it the least
overall, this game isnt even worth it for the bit. do not play this. i have found few games that are worse. maybe ill talk about them eventually. one day 101 Minigolf World will have its day. not yet though. 101 Pinball World was a soulless shovelware cash grab and it wasnt even fun. what a waste of 5 bucks. shame on you tiny tadpole past gio
overall rating: 2.7 - Real Bad. has 2 good music tracks and the menu ui looks nice. boring, broken, and somewhat painful under the surface -- like broken glass hidden under a shitty old paper-thin rug. cost too much money on the dsi shop channel for what it is. Do Not Play.
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dhsjakak It's okay, no one is perfect ☝️ and I see why! and I also see why that author inspired you to write the first smut here- noooo this can be such a big problem most of the time lmao. there’s still time to do a part 2 of this list then 😶 okay, I wasn't expecting that and it's lovely- I mean, good to know that that's not what's happening then.
I didn't ignore kehskakak I just asked what was that, that's all. buuuuut if you're still interested in knowing, I could give you a number, but I can't think of one high enough to express that. I hope this helps. oh my... you actually admitted something without leaving the sentence unfinished 😲
I will adopt this as my job now 🫡 this IS a cool shirt, okay, I feel honored to have been honored with this shirt. I don't know why but it gives me a bit of a my chemical romance vibes. we can both be stubborn, can't we? 👀
I don't think you'll ever know, but I'll trust the jury to exonerate me. sorry asjsakjwk I was tired- but feel free to call me out if it happens again. waitwaitwait, you completely read it wrong, I said I won't stop finishing sentences haha 🤗 we definitely will, but I'll update you if I think of any examples.
LET'S GOOOOO my “I’m finally right” party WILL happen!!
HEYhekwkajska you need to reveal these thoughts, fairies died of curiosity. YOU REALLY BLINKED 😭😭 I'm so proud. well, about getting a good night's sleep, I don't know how to help, so maybe this request for help wasn't of much use- since ocean's 8 is a movie and the others are not, I'll start with it. so I'm worthy of it? 🥺 I am the star but the stars you give me are also stars... it's so confusing. but I'm not???? 🤨
– 🌟
jsdghjlsjda thank you, thank you, i appreciate your understanding. they're all incredible and definitely my inspiration to keep working on my writing. yeah, those smut fics are...out of this world and they certainly got my mind moving toward smut so i was like well...might as well take a stab at this and i ended up really liking it lmao. it really is a problem. idk how i can have a neutral face on all the time except when i'm supposed to. i think a part 2 might be in order, yes. i'm glad to hear you think so even though it's definitely not happening.
mhmm, but in asking you created another question to avoid answering the one i asked. you already know i'm interested in knowing, so i'll accept this, even if there's no number included. it does help a little. yes because i'm not a brat 😶
sounds like a boring job but alright. i absolutely adore this shirt especially 'cause i bought it at their concert which was just such a mind-blowing experience. [somehow even more mindblowing than hearing tegan shout me out...which was officially a year ago, today. wild] honestly, i can see that too but i can't explain why either. we certainly can, little star.
i think you're relying on the jury a little too much, darling. it's fine, it just made me worry if i forgot to add the exception part lmao. oh, i see, now i'm the one who missed a part? good to know you'll keep finishing your sentences then...my darling star.
honestly, i'm tempted to take my words back just for fun but fine, you can have your party. i won't help you figure out those decorations though 😔
i don't think anyone needs to hear those thoughts. damn, you tell me to ask for help and then when i do, i don't get any? smh, what kind of support system is this? then again, i probably shouldn't have requested help from the one who goes to sleep at almost 4am some days. i really hope you like it! it's definitely a top comfort movie for me. i'm still debating...so maybe. it's really not that confusing...i think. you're a little star and i give you more stars as a gift/reward. we don't have to get into the logistics of it because then it really will get confusing.
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You were lied to. By not by Wilbur.
Technically speaking, we are all just numbers to any streamers. They dont us personally, and most usually forget us after they do met us. We ARE just numbers to them. To assume otherwise that your somehow special to them or arent just some number is... parasocial.
Each one of those numbers are a fan, but a number first and foremost. There is a reason they say never met your idol. This is why, because even to the nicest and mosf genuine of creators- you. Dont. Matter.
To assume such and realize this isnt a betrayal. They didnt betray you. You convinced yourself you mattered more than you actually did to them, which is kinda parasocial. Betrayal isnt betrayal if you dont know them personally.
But yes, you are a number. First and formost, a fan is just a costomer, and whiles its good faith to play nice wjth costomers... these days when numbers arent even fans always- dead wait followers that actually dont do anything but are a number to the followerinf count. Haters that hate follow and hate watch their content..
Yeah. We are just numbers. You are number to tommy, philza, ranboo, dream, etc. Etc. Etc. Uess you can talk to them personally in DMs on the regular. Rule one: dont hold yourself higher than that. Then you wont have to deal with this fuax "betrayal feeling" you feel.
Additionally you WERE lied to. But not by Wilbur. Shelby actually. In some recent streams she actually changed her story, said consent wasnt never revoked, the safe word wasnt an issue (and allegedly even was wilburs idea, not shelbys for a safe word to be needed at all) her only complaint was that biting, something known to hurt, even the lightest of bites can hurt... hurt. Thats it. But its been mentioned this isnt a one of event and she reprated consented to something she knew she didnt like and hurt. Why idk. Donr care. Dont like it, and your partner is giving you ways out of the stiuation? Use them for fucks sake.
Point is: you werent bretrayed. You are a number. And you were lied too. By Shubble.
Oh and before you say but he admiteed it!! He never admited to being abbuisve. But admitted to they talked about it, in texts, after this happened, and he thought they smoothed things over. He thought they worked things out- and by shelbys words that neither the consent or safe word were an issue... yeah sounds like it.
But shes a nortious back stabber. Shes actually lied abour ither exes, deleted and taken down their calls out agter being dispoven, debunked and given shit fot it. (Like how she deleted wilburs call out near immediately) and oh boy
So she wonr provide evidence but says you can dig for evidence of the abuse and so someone did, and corrected her on the timeline of events that happened, more or less debunking her story. And she threw a fuckjng hissy fit. It was hilarious and srill his how she squrals and squirms to without out evidence and after basically debunking her own claims insist hes still an abuser.
Like sorry you think your somehow a victim in all this when your not even a 3rd party in all of this drama. That you were betrayed. But honestly that screams parasocial. And i just fucking cant.
so I kinda wanted to talk about how I felt about the whole thing with biter soot, this is prob gonna be me just ranting to the void so feel free to ignore
ok first of all i don’t support the Brighton biter like, at all.
I haven’t really talked about it because alot of what I would want to say has probably been said by someone else In a smarter way, obviously if you haven’t already, go listen to his actual victims talk about their experiences,
ok here we go:
I guess I kinda just feel betrayed? Lied to? He was one of my role models, I thought he was so cool and funny, all for him to turn around and for it all to just be a lie. Now I look back at 2022 and 2023 and I realize he didn’t just stream as little as he did because he was a busy guy or something, no, he had us all wrapped around his finger he would only ever stream when he needed a quick buck, and we all flocked to his streams and we made tik toks with clips from the streams and in between the streams we would beg him to come back and do another stream.
And now we found out that we were just numbers to him, we weren’t people who looked up to him and thought he was the coolest, we were just wallets to him.
Now we found out that he was a two faced, liar! He always put on the mask of being a cool funny guy on camera only to turn around and be an abusive dick-wad! To alot of people! Shuble might have been the only one to come out about it but I’d be willing to bet that alot more people have story’s about him.
hell! He admitted on stream that he threw an apple full speed at Technoblades arm where he had just had surgery! Why the hell did we all just ignore how much of a red flag that was!
and it fucking sucks! I loved sbi and crime boys content, I read Sbi fanfics every night before I went to bed for two fucking years straight! I would watch so.many. twins duo, crime boys and sand duo compilations on tik tok!
I know alot of people (me included) used making/consuming fan content of sbi to keep the memory of Technoblade alive, and now it all just feels so…tainted.
I guess all this to say: I don’t miss him or who he was, I miss who we all thought he was
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