#i honestly have no clue how to tag this

[literalcyborg]

I’m fucking tired of people saying that things need to be deep to be meaningful.

I can like something without having some deep inherent connection to it. If I really like it, I’ll forge that connection myself, regardless of how “deep” the movie or book or whatever piece of media actually is. Let me have fun with my stupid sense of humor and watch movies that make me happy and mind your own business.

If you want to keep reading wordy and “intellectual” writing, then go for it. But don’t you dare tell me I’m stupid for wanting to find meaning in humor and simplicity, and don’t think yourself higher than me just because you like making yourself sad instead of enjoying a big colorful fight scene. Don’t sit there and act all high and mighty because you prefer having character depth be more obvious in-story. I like finding depth in characters myself.

“Do/read/watch what makes you happy” includes action movies and stupid comedy and cliched-but-sweet love stories just as much as it includes Pulp fucking Fiction.

[dungeonmalcontent]

Y'all, ask me a question to answer mysteriously at midnight as the blood moon rises over the salted earth while the shrieks and screams of the damned echo in chorus to me.

If you cannot be present for the recitation of my answers in the beyond, your queries with the attached answers in eldritch shifting ink will be delivered by raven to the nearest oracle.

[afterartist]

IVE DONE IT!! (not exactly sure what it is in this situation but it sure is done)

Rumble n Frenzy would bully screamer any chance they get

Soundwave on the other hand needs payed vacation because that man has to put up with so much crap

[ohgollythatsuh]

My fellow fandom frequenters!!!!!!

This feels kind of weird to do because I literally use this blog to talk about gay people and reblog pretty fan art but ya gotta do what ya gotta do:

I am a student journalist and I'm writing an article for class about the way that fandom spaces have changed over the years (especially over the pandemic) and the effects of the popularization of fandoms. I'm looking for people who are willing to talk about their experiences in fandoms, the communities and relationships that they've built, how they feel about the shift in fandom culture (or if they've even noticed a shift), etc!

Some things to note: this is not going anywhere besides to my professor (unless all participants actively want me to share it on Tumblr or something, in case anyone is interested in reading it -- it's really up to everyone's comfortability levels). The mode of interview is, once again, up to comfortability: we can do zoom calls, conversations over DMs, in-person meetups (this is obviously going to depend on where we live) -- once again, this is up to your comfortability!!!

My DMS are open and I would reallllyyy really appreciate any and all participants! Your voices are CENTRAL to this story because fandom is based solely off of the real conversations between community members!!! I'm really passionate about fandoms because it's been like. My whole life since childhood. So I'm really dedicated to making a beautifully authentic story out of this!!

Feel free to DM with any questions :) Or if you know someone who'd be interested, or have some suggestions on things you'd like me to write about or have any leads that I could research, look at, etc. -- just dm or even comment or reblog this and put it in the tags!!!

Reblogs are appreciated! I'll be tagging some popular fandoms in order to get some more traction

Edit: so many people dm’d thank you guys for helping a poor undergrad get a good mark on their paper :’) sorry if it takes a second for me to respond to your dm I’ll get to you I promise!! My dms are still open so if someone is reading this, you can still participate!

[somecoolpigeon]

Held a poll on twitter to see who to draw next and Malleus was the winner

A little more context + more doodles under the read more

So uhhh the poll gained a lot more attention than I had expected, and Malleus won in a massive landslide 😂😂 It was fun watching in real time.

Back when the poll had like 18 votes, both Mal and Vash were tied to one another. And then the poll gained traction, so I drew this lol.

Then the next day, Solomon surpassed Vash in votes despite originally being in dead last. So I made this as well asdlfjhls

[moominvalley-state-of-mind]

Joel and lizzie Scott pilgrim au but jole is Ramona flowers and lizzie has to defeat evreyone in the jolicule to date him

[fantasykiri5]

On today’s episode of drawing my OC in gay little outfits, I listened to Copacabana 80,000,000 times

[rocksmakingthings]

Here's one of my more nature themed projects I did recently! Just a tiny pine display box (i think from dollar tree? actually found it at a thrift store but it has a dollar tree tag lol). I don't have any before pictures of it (blasphemy). I got a hold of wood stain last year and have been having at it with a lot of cheap wood stuff laying around

Used to hold my moth collection but it has since outgrown it! So I stained it with wood stain + hot glued moss all over and decided to use it to display my more fragile specimen's that didn't have a place yet!

(Inside: dragonfly, dried shelf fungi, twin pine seed, bird skull, white lined sphinx moth (if I'm not mistaken), butterfly I forgot to identify, cicada.

On top: porcupine quills and a chicken bone.

Porcupine quills were a gift, everything else I found and saved. Actually my brother found the moth and saved it for me.)

It does have a protective casing on the front, but I took it off for the picture because of the glare.

[smile-files]

i thought it would be nice to share two projects i made in art class this semester!

title: angel of change

this one's a fun collage/sculpture about the positive and negative changes one can go through when starting college! featuring a nervous little peg person on the road, a surge of waves, and a biblically accurate pet rock angel smoking a cigarette

title: wing surfaces of morpho didius

and this is a sculpture of a morpho butterfly! with its ventral wing surfaces (the visible side of the wings) painted realistically, and with its dorsal wing surfaces (the hidden side of the wings) covered with messily-colored butterfly coloring book pages. the idea here is that my fascination with butterflies, despite being very scientific now, is still one imbued with naïveté, playfulness, and childlike wonder :)

[tee-dohrnii]

I dunno man have my rough Goddess of Temperance/Self-Restraint Thalia in the Hades style

I can not find the post anymore but there was someone who made God of Ambition Gale in the Hades style so I wanted to draw my Galemancing tav Thalia if she ever ascended with him and in Hades 2 style very impulsive and self-indulgent doodle that's not a doodle anymore

(Might clean this up and make it better another time)

[dirk-menace]

do you remember

[wonbiinz]

i missed you so much hong seunghan.

[briar--rising]

Rosh Hashanah is next week. It's always been my favorite holiday, and every year I prepare for it and look forward to it. But this year I've been dreading it, and until this past week I couldn't figure out why.

I haven't been to synagogue much in the past year. I've gone a handful of times, but much less than any other year since graduating college. And I thought of going, my therapist tried to encourage me to go because she knows it often makes me feel better, but there was just this inner resistance that I couldn't figure out and wasn't ready to look at closely enough to decipher anyway. And then as the High Holy Days got closer and closer I started to notice that I was really dreading them, which is not how I usually feel. And so I brought it up in therapy on Tuesday, and came to some really important realizations.

I've been doing a lot of very serious grief work and trauma work this fall. My most serious trauma anniversaries are almost all in the fall, and it's a season of great grief and usually highly elevated symptoms for me. My first serious psychotic break was in the fall, four of my five hospitalizations have been in the fall, etc. Until this year I spent every autumn of the past decade pretty severely psychotic. I could not face the trauma and grief that this time of year brings up for me, I could not process those feelings and memories without losing my mind in defense so that I wouldn't have to truly experience them. I've always known this, and for a few years have tried very hard to truly experience my grief and not retreat into psychosis, but I never managed it until this year.

This autumn has been different. I've still struggled with psychosis much more than in the summer, I still have to fight it most days. But I'm winning most of those fights. And I'm grieving. I'm mourning, I'm crying, I'm sitting with my feelings for as long as I can bear and then distracting myself from them when they get too much instead of retreating into symptoms most of the time. I'm genuinely experiencing the thoughts and feelings I need to be experiencing. I'm reading about death, about grief, about loss, I'm talking about these things in therapy. It's often incredibly painful, though sometimes it is simply a peaceful kind of sorrow. I'm getting in touch with a lot of the feelings I've found so difficult to face from some of the hardest times of my life, and I'm experiencing some of them again.

And some of those feelings that I was really quite blindsided by and that I've been largely repressing for 15 years are incredibly complicated feelings about G-d. When I was 11 years old I was just like any other religious and traumatized kid: I prayed to G-d to fix it. I did that thing kids do, I tried to make bargains with Him. "Dear G-d, if I clean my room will You save my mommy? If I'm perfect, will You fix my family?" You know. Things like that.

I was desperate for anything, anyone to save me. I talk sometimes about the particular traumas of that year, about my brother's birth, about my mother's hospitalizations, about her suicide attempt. But I have no words to express the year as a whole, except to say that terrible thing after terrible thing after terrible thing happened, and throughout all of it I was neglected and left at sea. My mom was sick, my dad was trying to keep his head above water, no one was there for me. So I tried to turn to G-d. And when He wasn't there for me either, I felt incredibly abandoned and betrayed, both by Him but also because I was taking my feelings about my family neglecting me during severe trauma and putting them onto Him. It's hard for me to express the levels of hurt and rage I felt at G-d during that time period.

And then my memory cuts out. I remember approximately nothing from shortly after my twelfth birthday (in June) until November over a year later. I have a handful of memories of specific events that took place at school or at camp, but absolutely zero memories of my internal feelings or anything that ever took place at home during seventh grade. It's just. Gone. Always has been, probably always will be.

The next significant things I remember in terms of my relationship to G-d and my religion are all about Hebrew High School, which I loved (I got to start it early bc I was being bullied in normal Hebrew School), and preparing for my Bat Mitzvah, which I also loved. My memory goes from intense feelings of betrayal and abandonment and agony to instantaneously a relatively low conflict, positive relationship with G-d and Judaism (with Jewish-appropriate amounts of questioning of course and moments of anger, but no true rage and despair like I once felt). And I stayed in that space of Judaism-as-comfort-with-minimal-internal-conflict for the next 10+ years. I have no idea how that transition happened, but it certainly didn't occur because I slowly and naturally dealt with all of my complicated feelings and embraced religion after processing.

And then this year, well. I guess the processing came due. I'd like to be very very clear that being Jewish always has been and always will be incredibly important to me, and nothing about any of this changes that. I am struggling, though. I'm re-experiencing a lot of those childhood feelings of betrayal and abandonment and confusion and rage. And not being ready to face those feelings is why I've been subconsciously avoiding synagogue for the past year, and is why I've been dreading the holidays. At least now I'm aware of what's happening, so that's a step in the right direction. And in the long term this is a good and important step not only in my trauma recovery but in my relationship with Judaism and with G-d; I can't have as deep of a relationship as I want without this kind of struggle. To quote my therapist, "your relationship with Judaism is too important to you to be easy." Thankfully in Judaism struggling like this is not only allowed but expected. But it is a struggle, right now. A painful one.

I leave you all with a song I've been listening to on repeat that is helping me confront and think about a lot of these feelings:

[supercantaloupe]

okay don giovanni review from last night. under the cut bc it's me. tldr the vocal performances were great, leporello carried the show, one of the most insane productions i've seen thus far but somehow in a new bizarre direction from normal. good snacks.

first of all i don't care how much wine you offer i think it's kind of ridiculous to charge $165 for a base ticket price for a performance that 1. isn't even in a concert hall or theater 2. is a concert performance rather than a staged performance (which was not advertised ahead of time) and 3. was not even a full production because they made the absolutely mind boggling decision to cut 100% of the recitative and replace it with Some Guy sitting on the stage narrating the plot between every 1-3 numbers

i did not pay that much gd bless. the student ticket was way cheaper.

the narration wasn't even good it was weirdly ungenerous to the women (like how do you even make elvira out be a "women, amirite" thing and also vaguely imply anna was into it in a production with zero acting? well they figured something out) and i don't think it even explained well enough what happens between each number to truly give a first time watcher a good idea of what's actually going on. not to mention that it absolutely kills any sense of momentum in the plot and makes the entire show drag like hell, because you have to wait between every single aria for either Some Guy to talk at you for three minutes straight, or wait awkwardly while people onstage walk off and people offstage walk on. it was so painfully clunky

they had a piano up there but since there was no recit it's not like she was accompanying much of anything. in practice what it ended up being used for was 1. the mandolin part for deh vieni (acceptable in the absence of a mandolin player; they were working with a limited chamber ensemble of musicians so i get it) 2. the party music at the end of act i (egregious fault imo because it absolutely kills the vibe of the scene and completely obfuscates the way the music is supposed to be adding to the tension and chaos with its different instrumental groups playing in different meters)

and 3. used to give singers their notes when the vocal line of their arias start on beat 1 measure 1, which they otherwise would have been able to get from the preceding recits (which is imo painfully amateurish for an ostensibly professional production)

all the numbers in act i were there although the narration was so bad i got jumpscared by fin ch'han dal vino because i forgot it was supposed to be there and thought we had skipped over that point in the plot. act ii had some really bizarre additional cuts made, notably they just entirely skipped over meta di voi and vedrai carino. it was like masetto and zerlina fuck off for the entirety of act ii save for, like, mille torbidi (they VERY briefly mentioned masetto getting beat up in the narration and i don't think they mentioned vedrai carino at all, they just skipped straight from deh vieni to sola sola. and also there was a painful awkward pause before deh vieni because i think the pianist forgot she was supposed to play there and the narrator jumped ahead to the next chunk of plot explanation too early). kept both dalla and tesoro (i'm fine with this ottavio was quite good though could've used a bit of ornamentation imo), kept mi tradi, kept non mi dir (more on that in a bit). no per queste which is probably a good thing not only for the show itself but also my head would have absolutely and irreversibly exploded if they had, probably

the whole thing kind of felt underrehearsed. like a quarter of the time it seemed like people didn't know what they were doing or had to be reminded where to be at that point in the show. and there were a few moments throughout where the orchestra struggled to keep up with the singers, but i really don't think they had much time to rehearse together, honestly.

and then, to my utter shock, the finale was actually really good?? like. insane compared to the rest of the show thus far. though it helps that 1. i absolutely love the harmonieband arrangements of cosa rara/i litiganti/non piu andrai, after possibly the draggiest non mi dir i've yet experienced it was like a breath of fresh air to hear that (and non mi dir was actually well performed i liked this anna but considering how much the Entire Show was dragging, the fact that they cut meta di voi and vedrai carino, AND the fact that they promised this act would be short, it felt crazy to me to keep it at that point.)

2. leporello and the don were by far the best performers of the night. so much so that i sought them out during the post show reception to tell them how great they were and enjoyed their performance. which i usually do not do, but in this like, high school recital ass production value. unbelievable relief that the final scene is dominated by the two actors in the show who most remembered that they can, and in fact Should, be acting. so much more movement and physicality and expression from those two compared to most everyone else. leporello especially, his actor apparently specializes in comedic bass roles and it shows, he was the standout all night

and 3. for the first time in the entire production they made an interesting decision regarding the physical space and staging! they had the commendatore sing from up on a balcony overlooking the audience in the foyer. the bar admittedly was set very low in the previous act and a half but the finale reminded me that i actually like this show again which is appreciated

though they then threw another curveball at me by Cutting the sextet at the end. which like didn't even piss me off at that point i was just baffled. like the don sinks down in agony and leporello sinks down whimpering in fear and the orchestra cuts off. and i'm expecting an awkward pause while they quietly get up and shuffle off so the rest of the cast can come back but nope. big orange title slate appears on the big screen behind them and the audience breaks into a roaring applause and the announcement of the wine and dessert reception. felt like i was in a fever dream

i will say the desserts were very nearly almost worth the bullshit that was the preceding show. they were so good. thank you austria for your dedication to pastry. and because i don't drink and couldn't appreciate the free wine offered i had to indulge in my own manner. spread contained chocolate oat bites (tasted as much like espresso powder as chocolate and coated in coconut, 4/10), almond sponge cake (classic, 7/10), cardamom apple bread pudding with caramel cream (not enough cardamom but otherwise very tasty and autumnal, 8.5/10) and honey cake (11/10. i don't know how they made this so good. i want more right now so much). i take both my mozart opera and my desserts very seriously.

anyway overall the production was. i would say frustrating. the singing quality was Really Good (leporello was the clear standout, probably followed by the don though i prefer my dons with a lighter voice but technically he was very good, then probably ottavio, then maybe masetto or anna. the commendatore was great but he's in it so little it's hard to compare)

i just wish they could have, like, actually done a full production. it would have been so great if they had gotten to tell the actual story and had been fully allowed to act. when there Was acting were the best moments of the show, and it's really unsurprising that most of that came from leporello, the absolute legend.

[marrow-and-bone]

a friend of mine got really into decorating kpop-style photocards recently, which it turns out is all of the fun parts of collage combined with the supreme satisfaction of placing a million tiny stickers with a pair of tweezers. it's webweave energy on top of trading card energy, so of course I had to make cards for c!Quackity and c!Schlatt, my favorite pair of DSMP shitheads, best beloved thank god for them.

[miimeeks]

(and they're all autistic)