#i honestly dont know why im typing this sorry

[madwickedawesome]

the pianist, valeira lakrisenko, 2017

[the-vibing-ghoul]

some people will be all about mental health awareness and leftist ideals of at least tolerating the mentally ill who show ''ugly'' symptoms until it's someone they know and ''care'' about having a bad day and acting like it in a way they don't find appealing

[bunnyb34r]

Trying to undo the damage of Facebook w/o risking your relationship with a loved one is like defusing a fucking bomb sometimes I stg

[jiimwii]

cyberpsychosis could maybe be so cool if it was people being possessed by some sort of rouge ai,or as part of a corporate conspiracy. like as a planned obsolescence thing where certain parts during production are programmed to make people Do That after a certain point so you have to buy the next new 20,000eddies cannon arms to replace the nearly identical previous model or else you might kill everyone you love and die because your cyberwares "outdated". or untraceable viruses infecting competing corporations cyberware using their rival's customer's livelihoods to sabotage their profits. and maybe any one of those things works in such a way that its designed to detect atypical brain chemistry in a host,and thus triggers more frequently with them to tage advantage of and use those people as a scapegoat and a way to further fear monger against them,and you can uncover that this is the case. or something along those lines. and the more cyberware someone has the more likely it is that they could encounter any of these scenarios. but no it is just #crazy people being too #crazy.

[astrxealis]

sometimes (often) i think about the characters i kin or relate to and then the realization comes in again and again that i need therapy (/lh?)

[chisungie]

.

[norrizzandpia]

Lando’s Biggest Fangirl (LN4)

Summary: It’s his girlfriend. Lando’s biggest fangirl is his girlfriend.

Warnings: language, sexual references???domestic lando 🧡🧡

Note: a filler while im super busy with school IM SORRY I COULDNT GET TO THE OSCAR CAUGHT IMAGINE TN BUT IT WILL HAPPEN TMRW I PROMISE. PROMISE.

y/nnn ass.

Comments:

Ln4andop81 BYE WHAT IS THIS

mclaren slumped

landonorris BABE.

- mclarensgirly idk why but this comment is so cute to me i love bf lando

landonorris everything about this post is so concerning

- y/nnn wdym? I think its perf

- landonorris first of all when did you take that of me and second of all THE CAPTION???

- y/nnn first of all i took it when you were sleeping thats obvi and second of all i like your ass. whats wrong with that?

- landonorris honestly? Nothing

f1fan2 i didnt know i needed this until rn

oscarpiastri your and lando’s relationship scares me sm

- landonorris TF??? WE DIDNT DO ANYTHING TO YOU.

- y/nnn PASTRY???? I was starting to like you too.

- oscarpiastri y/n i dont think thats the way you talk to someone who has that pic of your bf sweating after getting out of his race car.

- y/nnn oscar. this is not a playful matter. hand. them. over.

- mclarensgirly YO OSCAR LEAK THOSE IM BEGGING YOU

- landonorris WHY ARE PEOPLE TAKING PICS OF ME WITHOUT MY CONSENT.

—

y/nnn finally got that pic from oscar. safe to say my boyfriend’s teammate is in love with him.

Comments:

mclarensgirly THANK YOU FOR DROPPING THIS 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

ln4andop81 YOU ARE A GOD SEND.

landonorris yeah but im in love with you ❤️

- oscarpiastri WDYM “yeah” IM NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU????

- y/nnn idk man this pic says something else

- mclarensgirly LANDOSCAR IRL???? AWWWW

- f1fan2 OMG THE SHIP IS SHIPPING 🤭🤭

- oscarpiastri NO.

—

y/nnn FROTHING AT THE MOUTH. CHEWING ON THE WALLS. JUMPING UP AND DOWN. GIGGLING. SMACKING MY FIST AGAINST MY HEAD.

Comments:

landonorris WOW.

landonorris youve out done yourself with this caption

landonorris very vivid image of you absolutely going bonkers

- y/nnn thats the POINT hottie 😉😉

- mclarensgirly y/n calling him hottie lol shes just like us

oscarpiastri i want to block you

danielricciardo sometimes i wonder if ive followed the wrong account and this is just a 16 year old girl’s fan page

- y/nnn 16 year old me wouldve been feeling the same type of way as me now is.

- danielricciardo plz never say that again

- landonorris im so concerned

—

y/nnn awww look at my baby he’s so cute and babygirl 🤭🤭

Comments:

mclarensgirly the versatility of this woman never fails to amaze me

landonorris the eyes never lie, chica

- y/nnn AWWWW CAUSE YOU WERE LOOKING AT ME IN THIS OMFG AWWWWWWWWWWW

- landonorris i can hear your giggling

- y/nnn im not surprised

mclaren our favorite couple (we are so glad we didn’t come across another violent post on your page) 🧡🧡🧡

- y/nnn dw we will be getting back to regular programming shortly <3

- mclaren take the phone away. landonorris

- landonorris im literally on the other side of the world idk how i can do that

—

y/nnn BARK BARK 👹👹👹 GAHDAMN

Comments:

mclaren here we go again…

- y/nnn WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO??? SAY NOTHING??????

- mclaren YES.

- y/nnn WELL THATS NOT AN OPTION.

landonorris well the barking is new!

- y/nnn you say it like youre scared

- landonorris thats cause i am.

oscarpiastri bro

danielricciardo ngl he looks good here

- y/nnn THANK. YOU.

- landonorris thanks dan

- y/nnn SO YOU THANK HIM AND NOT ME????

- landonorris YOU BARKED AT ME.

- y/nnn ITS THE PROPER RESPONSE.

- landonorris NO BABY IT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT.

- f1fan2 their relationship is my roman empire

—

landonorris giving it a try: GAHDAMNNN BABY 🥵

Comments:

mclarensgirly WOWIEEEE SHE DOESNT GET ENOUGH RECOGNITION

F1fan2 she makes me question my sexuality.

Liked by landonorris

ln4andop81 mother of god almighty my jaw is on the floor

mclarensgirly thank you lando for blessing my eyes with this

ln4andop81 SHES SUCH A GREEK GODDESS

y/nnn see i dont like it when you do it 😟

- landonorris are you actually kidding me.

- y/nnn why cant you just leave me to my delusions in peace???

- landonorris bc they arent delusions im literally your boyfriend

- y/nnn YUM SAY IT AGAIN 😩😩😩

- landonorris omfg

[reidmotif]

my fic + author recs!

i have been suuuper disgruntled by the fic community recently and how casually and thoughtlessly some fic writers/readers seem to be indirectly insulting people’s work. this community and its fics are so varied, and i think they deserve to be appreciated. which is why im reccing a bunch of my fav fics!! please give these writers sooo much love!!

(about all of my recs are nsfw, but some authors mentioned do have sfw fics. please explore and follow the warnings outlined for each fic!!)

“i know your wife and she wouldn’t mind” by @stairain

gotta start out with stairain. i would pretty much credit my whole desire to write fanfics to the fact that i religiously read their whole masterlist a summer ago. they are a fantastic writer, and i love how they captured spencer here. take a look!

“i want you” by @smurphyse

i HEAVILY recommend smurphyse as an author. their series, room 405 is probably one of my most reread fics ever. their threesome and foursome fics are beyond supreme. i love this one shot they’ve written, and i hope you guys do too!

“loverboy” by @sundrop-writes

while i dont think this person writes for cm anymore, their fics for it were fantastic. i love how they captured sub spencer, and i think this is one of my most reread fics ever.

“puppy eyes” by @misserabella

i am in looove with the way this person writes. while i dont have a link to it, “sick love” changed my brain chemistry. sub spencer save me sub spencer save me.

“summer of sin” by @mercy-burning

hoooly shit. if you know me, you’ll know i probably reccomend this fic to everyone i know. i just genuinely can’t say anything besides telling you with my whole heart to check it out. awesome way to close out your summer honestly.

i would love to write blurbs about my love for these fics for everyone, but i fear the post would become too longwinded. here are some links and authors i recommend just as enthusiastically as i did the others above.

@reiderwriter

@foxy-eva

@fortheloveofwonderland

@incognit0slut

@beelmons

@imagining-in-the-margins

@criminalmindzjunkie

@andiebeaword

@reidsrambles

@eideticmemory

@sinfulspencer

@wheelsup

@beautifulbrainrot

@moon-light-jukebox

@gubsbuubs

@minswriting

@golden1u5t

@ginkgo-phyta

@gubler-me-up

@reidbae

@crypticreid

“who’s counting” by @samuel-de-champagne-problems

“behave back there” by @writingmar

“mile high club” by @littlexdeaths

“next to you” by @zombiefiilm

“testing the limits” by @reidsdimples

“follow my lead” by @mismatched-sockss

“welcome home” by @spencerreidenjoyer

“incentive” by @reidslibrarybook

“the very first night” by @writer-in-theory

this request from @donald4spiderman

“malicious compliance” by @aliteralsemicolon

“all zipped up” by @ipseitydelrey

this request from @thedancingcostumeyoungadult

this request from @astrophileous

“scream for you” by @hornyhornyhimbos

“thin walls” by @byersbootyshorts

“just my type” by @reidgraygubler

welcome to the small blurb after where i say something that’s been bugging me. i think it’s corny to indirectly insult people’s work on here. i think it’s corny to imply a “correct” way to write a character, especially in terms of writing about a characters sex life, a sex life that has no canonical basis to it! (i am talking about spencer here, if it is not obvious). i think it’s thoughtless, arrogant and all around odd to engage with that type of behavior. the variety of fanfiction that exists here is such an awesome thing, and i think itd be so incredibly boring if we all thought the same thing and wrote the same thing about the same characters over and over again.

if you’re a writer and you’ve felt that your work has been unappreciated or rejected, or have read something that left you feeling off about your own work, i am very sorry. every contributor to this fandom is awesome. you deserve every flower ever. 🌷🌷🌷

and if you’re reading this and feel called out.. examine that! i make this post off of a general vibe i have examined in the past few weeks. there is no level of entitlement you hold that allows you to dictate how and what people should write.

i say these words with little malice. id like to hope everyone is capable of being a little better everyday, and i hope any amount of reflection can lead to that.

anyway, that’s all ❤️ baiiii enjoy reading!!!!!

[tthoughtdaughter]

bad habits.

pairing: dealer!ellie x reader.

summary: when you were a kid you had always put a pillow or a big stuffed animal between your legs, you honestly felt comfort by it. but tonight you decided it was going to be somebodies head.

warnings: uh widely ellie giving head?, use of drugs, girls kissing 🤯, swearing, a little bit of dacryphilia, pretty self-indulgent i know its weird im sorry — MINORS DNI !!

a/n: just because the strikes ended does not mean you shouldnt stop posting about palestine!

———————

you were helpless, depressed even. being locked up in your dorm for god knows how long. your friends had been nagging you about various parties on campus, you simply just left them on read, not wanting to deal with the aftermath of the party.

it wasnt until now that you had decided to go. not because you wanted to, you were going against your own will.

your friends, isabella, mattie and thea were forcing you out of your dorm because the state you were in right now was just honestly disgusting.

you were packing a bag to go over to isabellas house because they werent letting you stay in that dorm for a minute more, when thea said. “youve been stuck in here for forever, we havent seen you in awhile, we miss you girl.”

you sighed, reaching over to your closet to find an outfit appropriate for tonight. “look i know, things just havent been the best right now.” you didnt bother to look back because you know all thats going to be written on their faces will be pity.

“can you guys help me pick an outfit atleast?” they squeal, marching over to you before yanking you out of their ways.

mattie held up a dress, it was pink, delicate, something you would were on a picnic.

“dude, thats so basic.” isabella called out from the side, rolling her eyes at matties choice.

“i dont wear stuff like this— how would i fucking know?” she huffed.

“calm down guys, why dont we let ms depresso give us an idea of what she wants?” thea shouts over the teo annoyingly loud girls.

“i— depresso? seriously? not even funny.” you roll your eyes before pulling up pinterest on your phone, you always managed to find decent outfits off of the app.

you typed in ‘party outfits aesthetic.’ before you landed on something similar you had in your closet.

the outfit had a mini, mini, mini, mini black skirt paired with a black lettuce-cut, corset bralette looking thingy and just below that, knee-high boots. you admit it, you looked hot as fuck.

“damn girl, if i were gay id definitely hit you up.” way to go isabella, way to go.

“oh please youre totally into girls, youre acting like you dont eye that dina girl everytime we walk around her area on campus.” mattie adds.

isabella did everything in her will power to ignore the comment, but she couldnt help but blush.

the look of approval shot around the room was hilarious and you all burst out into laughter. you really havent felt this good in awhile.

quickly memorising the girl mattie had mentioned before, you could remember she would always be hanging around with someone else.

“hey, any of you know the girl dina hangs with? i cant think of her name.” you think hard, like really hard, you knew the girl was attractive from all the times you had seen her since isabella coincidentally hung there too.

“yeah, her names ellie, i buy from her sometimes. why, you got the hots for her?” thea teases.

“just shut up and give me her insta.” you roll your eyes, playfully shoving the girl as the two others made ‘oooooh’ sounds.

“fine, just give me a second.” thea whips out her phone and starts going through her following. she clicks on a profile and holds the phone up to you so you could get a good look.

her account was private, by the looks of it she had a batman smoking weed profile picture? interesting.. her user was ‘@ellieisawesome327.’

sounds like a name some 5 year old would put on secretly. “oh, interesting.” you couldnt help but giggle, she obviously wasnt the best at using this stuff.”

you pulled out your phone and searched for her user, you didnt follow it just yet, you thought it would be creepy since she didnt know you at all. you simply just kept the name in the search bar, ready for when you actually want to follow her.

———————

a few hours had passed and you all had gotten done up, makeup, hair, outfits, everything you would do before a party.

“whos car we taken’?” mattie asked. you and the others looked at her like she was some idiot.

“theres only one car in the driveway, take a guess numbskull?” thea pointed out, mattie pouted.

“rude.” she huffed. turning around to scroll on tiktok.

you were sitting on the bed, getting comfy since the party wasnt for another hour, when you spotted one of isabellas pillow. you had put it between your legs, you found some comfort in doing that ever since you were a kid, it was a weird and bad habit.

“whatre ya’ doin silly?” isabella pointed out, she sort of new you had this weird habit of putting things between your legs.

“getting comfy, what does it look like?” you roll your eyes, scrolling through your instagram feed.

“if you actually want something between your legs, try and get head tonight.” isabella added. it was a harmless joke, your group had always joked like this. you toned out the muffled giggles in the back thinking if you should actually get laid tonight.

it had been awhile since you had had sex, and it was getting annoying hearing everyones ‘wild’ stories.

you tool the pillow out from between your legs and threw it back into its position it was in before.

“you guys think we should get going? the parties in twenty minutes.” thea said. you all nodded and got up from your positions to march off to the car.

the drive was ten minutes, you put on your group playlist, it was made for roadtrips you guys took every once and awhile. but tonight you just needed to hear something other then their voices.

you were all vibing to the music when it eventually came to a stop. you sighed and got out of the car, shivering as the cold wind hit your very exposed body.

everyone walked in, it wasnt exactly packed, but you hesitated and mattie noticed that.

mattie was the average femme grouped masc. the one to carry around the shopping bags when you went shopping kind of girl. she was sweet, there were times where you had found yourself harmlessly crushing over her. she knew you had a bit of anxiety and offered you some of her meds before leaving but you kindly declined.

now obviously regretting your decision, she gripped onto your hand and squeezed it tight, for reassurance. you smiled and walked in with the others.

———————

it had been 2 hours and the group had split, isa probably off eating dinas face off, mattie chatting with some of the guys from a basketball team she had played against when faking being a guy as a dare, and thea off buying or even selling drugs. you were sat on a dusty old couch, not exactly wasted but definitely not sober.

you hadnt noticed you were sitting next to the girl whos instagram you were stalking earlier. but the realisation hit when you smelt weed from her direction.

she was very obviously eye fucking you, she wasnt even shy about it, it couldve been the weed that was in her system or she was wildly bold.

“hey?” you started off your soon long to be conversation.

“hi.” she was caught off guard when she realised you were talking to her.

“ellie right?” she nodded and you exchanged your name to her, along with numbers. you sat back further into the couch, parting your legs a little giving her a slight view of what was under you skirt. you enjoyed the fact that she was looking. a little smirk appeared on your face and she didnt notice it.

“my friend thea buys from you right?” she snapped her head up to look into your eyes. you noticed the green in her eyes under the blue hue of the lights in the room. she nodded,

“yeah why? wanna buy from me?” you shook your head.

“kinda tight on money right now, i would though.” you sighed, resting your head on your hand.

she thought for a minute. “ill share a blunt with you, only coz’ youre cute.” she winked and you blushed.

“oh, thanks..” you stare off awkwardly waiting for her to light it, she was wondering if she made you uncomfortable.

“s—sorry, didnt mean to make you uncomfortable.” you shook your head a smiled before she handed you the joint.

you took a puff and handed it back to her, waiting a bit before exhaling. you noticed she was manspreading. then you noticed she didnt quite look like any other girls that were at the party, very masculine. is she lesbian? no surely not, maybe she just likes being comfortable.

ellie was wearing a worn-out jacket, joels. she wore it everywhere she went.

she caught you staring at the position she was in, fighting the urge to spread them further. you noticed she was holding back from something and looked up at her, oh shit she caught you.

a shit eating grin was plastered on her face. “you ‘kay?” she asked, the same smug expression written all over her face.

you nodded and took the blunt out of her hand. you were blushing under the dim lights in the corner, the rest of the place was filled with colourful lights changing every second.

she started blushing too, she didnt know why. you looked up to her with parted lips. the high kind of kicking in now.

“can i.. kiss you?” you asked softly. you regretted that so hard, fuck fuck fuck she probably doesnt like girls..

she moved closer, draping a hand over your shoulder. “thought youd never ask.” she smirked before smashing her lips onto yours.

the kiss was hungry, like she was desperate for something, you couldnt quite place your tongue on it. the only thing placed on your tongue right now was hers. you kissed her back with just as much passion.

the moans you let out were absolutely pornographic. ellie knew she had to do something about this, stopping the kiss whilst you let out a whine from the lack of attention.

you were borderline wet, like waterpark wet, and it wasnt helping that you were wearing a flimsy skirt that had rode up in the process.

“cmon’ princess.” she took your hand, you felt a bit clumsy for some reason, dizzy, your head was foggy, only thinking about how good she tasted.

you followed her around as she knocked on various locked rooms. finally breaking one open, she slammed it shut, locking it and pressing you up against it. not to hard though, wouldnt wanna hurt your pretty little head.

“fuck, youre so goddamn hot.” she mumbled between kisses. you couldnt help but moan at how turned on she made you feel.

she pushed her knee up between your thighs and you shivered, grinding down onto it. chasing the very needed friction.

you wondered how such an innocent question like ‘can i kiss you?’ turned into you riding on her knee.

“els’, please..” that shit eating grin reappeared on her face and you just wanted to smack it right off, you rolled your eyes. your words and wetness only boosted her ego more.

“please what baby?” she teased. why was she teasing you? you couldnt take it. tears started bubbling in your eyes.

“please just— fuck me.” you mumble out. she liked the sight of you crying, so desperate for her. she was going to tease you more before you actually got what you wanted.

“what was that?” she smirked.

you looked up at her through teary eyes. “can you, uh— go down on me? please?” you were begging, that was a sight.

she pulled you over to the bed, through the dimly light room. “strip.”

you did as she said, it wasnt hard to take off your clothes since there was barely anything on you. first your top, leaving you in a skimpy black lacy bra to match your underwear. then came the boots and skirt.

finally, leaving you in a two piece set. she was waiting patiently for you to take them off. you dont know why you were so hesitant, maybe it was because you hadnt done this in awhile, or maybe it was because her stare was so intense it made your stomach do flips, distracting you from the easy task.

she walked over to help you since you couldnt finish what you had started. “d’ you want this?” you nodded painfully slow.

she peeled off your underwear, holding them up to get a good look before back down to your now bare cunt. it was dripping at the sight of her.

“s’ wet for me princess.” she smirked once more, if she smirked anymore her face would probably get stuck like that.

then came the bra, she asked you to turn around so she could unclip it, she was slightly struggling since she wasnt used to these fancy bras, only because she wears a sports bra.

you giggled and reached your arms behind you to take it off, turning around to leave her ogling at the sight of you.

“youre so beautiful.” you blushed, hard. she looked up at you for some sort of reassurance and you nodded.

a minute ago she was so dominant and now shes sweeter than a cookie. you adored that.

she reached her hands out to cup your tits, so soft, she thought. squeezing them and pinching your now hardened, pebbled nipples.

she elicited a moan out of you. you sat back on the bed for comfort and she dived into them. sucking harshly on your tits.

you couldnt tell if you hated it or loved it, your monas were telling her otherwise.

she left purple marks all over your neck, tits, stomach, anywhere she could mark really. you were huffing, all you needed her to do was touch you down there.

“patience baby.” she replied to your subtle huffs. you rolled your eyes, pleading with your body language as you rolled your hips into nothing.

her head moved down slowly, taking time with your body as if you werent some one night stand. did she actually like you?

she kissed all over your stomach and you felt giddy, you were giggling at how it tickled.

the she dipped her head low, taking in how soaked you were. the whole time you had been rubbing your thighs together. any subtle touch made you go crazy.

she fully dived in, and you moaned her name out, loud enough to here over the booming music. “e-els!” she teased your clit with her tongue, licking a stripe down, giving your clit kitten kisses.

her tongue reached places your fingers couldn’t surprisingly. you couldnt stop panting. it felt like heaven.

your vision was going blurry, white, if the coil in your belly bubbled anymore it was going to snap. “ellie.. i—im gonna!..” she moaned into your pussy, sending hypnotising vibrations into it.

“i know baby, come for me.” those words was the thing that snapped the bubbling coil.

you felt hot slick pool out of you, she lapped up all she could, almost overstimulating you. you were panting.

she got up and laid beside you, toying with your plush tits. you could almost fall asleep right then and there.

“alright,” she patted your thigh. “i gotta get going, heres my number though.” she pulled out a random piece of paper from her pocket and a pen. had she been preparing for this? you thought. she handed you the note like a little kindergartener and put her shirt back on.

you had the sudden urge to shove a pillow between your legs, whining from the loss. you fought back everything in you to shove the pillow that was staring at you between your legs. you watched ellie leave,

she left you on the bed looking back at you to smile before closing the door behind you. you eventually got up and put your clothes on, walking over to the bathroom that was in the small room to fix up your hair and makeup.

you realised your hand was still clutching that little piece of paper. you looked at it and read it slowly, still regaining composure.

‘**** **** **** **** message me ;) x’

you probably werent going to message her, but just incase, you slipped the note into your purse and walked out of the room going to look for you friends to take them home, luckily ellie had sobered you up.

———————

a/n: im sorry the ending actually sucks i was getting sick of this and i needed to get it out of my drafts. should i turn it into a series were reader actually messages ellie? idk.

[artdcnaldson]

and when we move on (we dont) and get a new boyfriend and get engaged all within the span of six months and suddenly art finds himself at your engagement party and you look happy and he thinks maybe he imagined his importance to you - maybe he had it wrong and he was the fleeting obsession. how else are you able to move on so quickly? he's miserable but he still plucks up the courage to come congratulate you even if he doesn't mean a word of it. says, "you look beautiful - honestly." just because, well you do.

and its then that your mask slips - you look like art punched you - not those slaps you'd both traded in the past - but like he'd genuinely punched you in the gut. wounded ane pained like he'd just said the most awful thing in the world to you. and your hands tremble when you hand him your champagne glass and mumble "im sorry - excuse me -"

you have to be somewhere alone. suddenly constricted and panting and you find and alcove to lean against and you feel tears burn your eyes and even worse still, a presence at your back - "hey, what -" because of course its him, of course it is. "what's wrong - what did i say -"

you could laugh. you could laugh if a sob wasn't cut off in your throat. you hate him. on your engagement day. the nerve to say you were beautiful. with those genuine eyes and soft expression - like he meant it. like he always thought you were.

he breaks your heart and and you try to move on - you let yourself drown in the next man that shows you attention because arts words follow you everywhere - how you're not the marriage type - well, your fiance wanted you. he wanted you and that had to be enough because if you remained alone and unwanted you think you'd die from the pain of it -

so for him to say something like that now - all of the sudden -

"why do you hate me? i left you alone, didn't i? patricks still your friend. you have everything you wanted - I just want to move on, art. I just want to be wanted - why are you here?"

GODDDDD your mind <3

You know it’s sudden— everyone knows it’s sudden. But you’re the only one who knows why you rushed into it so intensely. Why, after six months with someone, you agreed to marry someone who you hardly even knew.

You knew the basics— Charlie wanted to be a college professor. His mother was filthy fucking rich, old money, and she liked that you came from an affluent background. He enjoyed skiing, and watching tennis, and he did rowing in high school. He was allergic to cats. He liked ordering raw oysters and slurping them down embarrassingly loud at restaurants. He never ordered for you, always paid the bill, never pushed you past a heavy makeout session on the couch.

Because you couldn’t go past that anymore. You couldn’t be easy, couldn’t give it up. You had to be the type of girl someone would marry, you had to be girlfriend material, and wife material, and mother material.

Charlie wanted to get married, wanted a big family, and you checked those boxes for him. You’d never have to want for anything, he’d pamper you and keep you spoiled like you were used to. He was strawberry blonde like Art, but his smile was more refined and practiced, and you wish it wasn’t. When he proposed you said yes, and cried tears that were supposed to be happy, but how could you know for sure?

Art shows up to the engagement party as Patrick’s plus one, and you feel dizzy. But you have to be normal— you can’t give anything away. You just… try to avoid him. When he starts gravitating your way, you find an excuse to talk to someone else, or make your way into the kitchen for a fresh drink. Anything to stay away, because you can’t fucking see him. You can’t do that right now, or ever.

But of course he finds a way— he’s too polite or maybe he’s just too cruel to leave the party without offering a congratulations. You’re cornered like prey, grip so tight on the stem of your champagne flute that you’re worried it’ll snap.

And he doesn’t say congratulations. He just looks at you with a genuine, completely earnest smile and says, “You look really beautiful. He’s really lucky.”

You feel your heart seize in your chest, like someone’s grabbed it and squeezed viciously. The corners of your mouth twitch downwards, but you fight it and bring a polite, practiced smile to your lips. “Could you excuse me for a second?”

He looks confused as you put your glass in his hand, as you close his fingers around it so he doesn’t drop the expensive crystalware. As soon as you’re sure he has it, you’re weaving through the many guests to find solitude. Most of them are Charlie’s friends, few are your acquaintances— people that would just as soon pray on your downfall as they would offer a sweet congratulations.

You slip into the hallway feeling suffocated, drawing quick breaths through your nose until you tuck yourself away in a nicely tucked away alcove and take a slow, steadying breath.

But Art lingers at the edge of your vision, and you want to just cry and cry as he gets closer, as he puts a comforting hand on your shoulder.

“Hey, what…” his brow furrows, he searches your face for some sort of clue, something to help him understand. “What’s wrong? What did I say?”

The noise you let out is strangled, almost animal. You look at him and see that he means it, he doesn’t fucking know, he doesn’t understand. Maybe he just can’t.

“I can’t believe you’re—“ your voice cracks and you look away from him. You can’t stand to see that kicked puppy expression, the earnest concern. You can’t fucking look at it. “And after everything?”

Charlie is a good man. Charlie makes you happy, or he can one day, with time and distance. And he sees you as someone he wants to spend his life with. Isn’t that enough? Why is Art trying to spoil it for you when the alternative is proving him right? That would kill you. You’d rather just die.

“I was just…” he trails off, turns your face toward him with two fingers against your chin. The softest he’s ever touched you, and it feels so foreign and wrong that it shatters something inside that you thought you’d fully repaired. “I thought you’d want to know. That I still think about you, that I want you to be happy.”

Tears spill down your cheek, inky and black from your mascara. “You’re so fucking mean, Art.” Your voice is weak as you look at him. He drops his hand back to your side, but stays close, so close you’re reminded of how intoxicating his presence can be. “Why are you doing this to me? Huh? I did what you asked and I left you alone. And I didn’t tell Patrick, because I didn’t want to hurt you. Why isn’t that enough? Why are you trying to spoil this for me?”

Confusion and hurt flashes across his features. Is that what you thought he wanted? For you to really leave him alone? He didn’t want that, it nearly fucking killed him. He spent the end of senior year tanking in tournaments, he hardly slept.

Patrick had told you about Art floundering, and it made you sick. You’d actually laid in bed crying about it, wracked with guilt. You thought it was all because of you, because you’d distracted him and ruined him.

It felt like he was there only to remind you that you were poison. That you would do the same to the sweet boy just through a set of double doors as you had done to him. But you wouldn’t. You’d never do that again.

“Charlie wants me. I’ve been his girlfriend for only a few months and he already wants to marry me,” your wavers pathetically as you think back to what Art had said back home. The prospect that he could be right was fucking terrifying, but you’d left that girl behind. “He could be the only one who wants me like this. So why are you trying to show up to my engagement party and look at me like you— like—“

You can’t say it, but he knows. He looks at you and he knows. You wince as he sinks to his knees in front of you, tears filling your eyes. Because his hands slide up your calves, settle on the back of your thighs.

He kisses your knee, softly, reverently, looks up at you with soft, desperate eyes. You sigh softly as his lips trail up, skimming along your soft thighs. You lean back, pressing against the wall, feeling yourself melt for him.

“Art,” you gasp weakly. “You can’t. We— we can’t.” You know you’re speaking the truth, but your words and your actions aren’t aligned. Your fingers card into his hair, and your entire body lights up when you finally touch him again.

It aches in your chest— longing and hurt and love and hatred. You never felt as much as you do with him. Charlie doesn’t light up that part of you the way Art does. Maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe it needs to be hidden away, cut off like a rotting limb.

His lips press to the spot just beneath your hem, and he peers up at you. “Let me.”

Not a question. A plea. Let him.

Let him what? Love you? Touch you? Let him eat you out in the shadows of a hotel hallway? Let him back in? Let him have you? Let him be yours to worship again?

“Okay,” your voice is barely above a whisper. “Okay.” You repeat, just to make sure you’re certain. Of what, you don’t know.

His head slips beneath the skirt of your dress, and you moan softly at the press of his lips over your panties. Soft, sweet kisses over the fabric that make you open up for him. You feel need dripping from your center, longing.

You haven’t been touched since him— not that he’d ever actually tried. But having him touch you, kiss you… it feels like ice melting.

He tugs your panties to the side, mouths at your cunt like he’s kissing it. Like he’s kissing you. You moan softly, let your head knock against the wall.

“Art—“ you practically sob. His tongue parts you, laps at you from your dripping entrance to your clit. He moans and nuzzles closer, lets his nose rub against your clit as he presses his tongue inside of you. He squeezes at your thighs, dimples the plush flesh there.

You’re so sensitive— it’s a combination of months of barely even touching yourself, of missing him, of craving him. You’re dripping onto his tongue, moaning softly. You can’t manage more than soft gasps of his name, pleas for more— Art Art Art Art Art.

He draws your orgasm out easily, like it belongs to him. Laps at your release, works you through it until your knees are shaking. He pulls back, mouth glistening with your release.

He stays on his knees, presses another soft kiss to your thighs, and another, over and over again. Soft, reverent, tender. He looks up at you so earnestly, so desperately, that you feel a sob stick in your throat.

“I need to get back,” you say suddenly, when the ache in your chest is too much to bear. “Charlie’s probably wondering… you know— I’ve been gone too long.”

“Charlie?” Art asks, his voice weak, pathetic. He’s still looking up at you from his knees, and he has to scramble up when you start walking towards the women’s bathroom to tidy your makeup. “Why are you doing this?“

He could be asking anything. You answer what you think he needs to hear, what h ended a to know. “He’s going to be a good husband, Art. He’s always sweet, and he’s never… he doesn’t just see me like— like what you see.” You take a steadying breath. “What you said to me back home was true, I know that now. But I can’t just be alone. It’ll kill me.”

You pause, let your lip twitch into a sad smile. “Just please leave me alone, Art.”

You slip into the bathroom, he hears you click the door locked so you can’t follow. Not like last time. When he returns to the party, he drinks three more glasses of champagne. He leaves before Charlie gives a toast to you, to your impending marriage. He can’t fucking stomach it.

[emphistic]

For the Better

A/N: dont feel like proofreading; i would say sorry, but im not

<- series m.list

You answered just before the last ring sounded, and forced out a “Hello?”

A familiar voice came from the other line, saying your name with great enthusiasm. “Hey, you! I almost thought you weren’t going to answer.”

Giving a nervous laugh, you sat yourself down on the couch and prayed to God your social battery hadn’t run out yet. “Naoki, what’s up? Aren’t you supposed to be working at this time?” You did a once-over on the wall clock, validating your assumption.

“I called off of work, I wanted to see you today.”

You blinked. “Oh? You didn’t, like, check if I was available before doing something so rash as leaving work? I mean, what if I wasn’t free?” 

Naoki paused for a second, before replying, “I assumed you were free after seeing your car outside your complex. Though I may be wrong, I don’t peg you as the sort of person to call an Uber when you have your own vehicle.”

Your mouth opened and closed, but a response failed to come out. He’s at my building? you thought. You didn’t remember giving him your address, and it would be more than weird for him to ask Eileen for it instead of you. Besides, you two haven’t heard from each other since the night at the bar. 

“You’re here?” was the only thing you managed to say.

Naoki hummed in agreement.

“But—but how do you know—?”

“Your address? Trust me, I don’t. I just coincidentally recognized your car while walking around, that’s all. I, Naoki Ito, am far from a serial killer,” he laughed.

“Well,” you said, “that’s good to know. . .”

You eyed Sukuna across the room from your spot on the couch. He couldn’t hear your phone call; you didn’t answer on speaker; but he did look like he was wondering who was keeping you for so long.

“Anyway, if you are free, I was hoping you could show me around the city? I’ve seen some nice restaurants, but I’ve yet to try them.”

You silently wondered why he didn’t ask his cousin, but you didn’t think more on the subject besides that. “That’s . . . not a bad idea. Sure, I’m free.”

“Really? That’s great! How can we meet up?”

“Are you near my complex?”

Naoki hummed, “I’m outside this three-story building with some blue graffiti on the side of it. Dolphins and waves and y’know.”

“Oh, I know where you are. I’m going to get ready, you can just stay put for me, right? I’ll head there in, like, ten minutes, tops.”

The call was quickly ended, and you told Sukuna you would be leaving. 

“You know, I haven’t asked Naoki what he thought of macaroni and cheese, yet. I’m thinking today’s the day, and, if he says ‘yes’, well, it’s needless to say I’ll be spending the rest of my week praising whatever gods bestowed this blessing upon me.” You smiled to yourself. “Anyway, I’ve got this great idea that I think you’ll absolutely love.”

“Shoot,” said Sukuna.

“I’ve been thinking about the possibility of Naoki being interested in me. And, honestly, I think it would be great if I set you up with Eileen. I’m not sure how to feel about her flirting with you despite thinking our relationship’s real, but, if all works out with Naoki (as in, he likes macaroni and cheese), the four of us should totally go on a double date some day. What do you think?”

“Fuck no.”

“Seriously? I think my idea’s genius.”

Sukuna scoffed. “Yeah, well, the not-genius part about your idea is the fact you’re trying to get me to date some annoying ass bitch you call your friend. Besides, she is not my type.”

That was . . . definitely not the response you were expecting. “Harsh, much?” you said. Yet, you couldn’t help the giggle that escaped your lips. Sukuna was always so vulgar; it was a bit amusing.

It was a simple, casual outing for two friends that were checking out the city. Thus, you didn’t spend much time throwing on an outfit; you dressed solely for the comfort of a day that was to be spent walking around. So, it didn’t take long for you to meet up with Naoki. And, just as he said, he was leaning on a wall covered head to toe in graffiti. He waved you over once he noticed you, and from there, you two began the day.

“You look nice,” he said, upon looking you up and down.

“You don’t look too shabby, yourself,” you laughed. “So, where’s your car parked?”

Naoki looked a bit confused for a second, as if your question was an absurd one. “Car?”

“Yeah, you drive, right? The nearest restaurant is pretty far. I’ve been complaining about that since the day I moved here. And, if that wasn’t strange enough, there are so many grocery markets here. Like, not everyone is a chef,” you scoffed.

It made you think of Sukuna, who was probably back home. Watching Pride and Prejudice by himself, and complaining about God knows what. He was always a good cook. So, even before you two got into this dating arrangement, he was frequently spending a lot of time at your place. You always laughed and called him your private chef, but he might as well have been.

“Yeah, so, about that, I . . . don’t have a car, actually. I get around places by either taking the bus or walking. Daily exercise, am I right?” joked Naoki, but you didn’t laugh, and just merely nodded.

“We can walk to this restaurant I know, it’s a twenty minute walk, but we can manage. And,” you turned to look at Naoki, “on the way, we can get to know each other better. I think it’s a nice plan, it’ll distract us from how bad our feet will ache by the time we get to the place.” You laughed.

“Good idea,” said Naoki.

His agreement came fast, you almost weren’t expecting it. Sukuna never deliberately said ‘yes’ to you or agreed to any of your ideas. He was more of an actions guy than a words person. He could say ‘no’ and yet still pass you the remote. He could tell how ridiculous you were, and yet still indulge in your little mischiefs every now and then. Like, for instance, the time you told him about your supposed curse. He went with it, despite obviously not believing one word you spoke about it.

“So, do you have any hobbies? Play any sports?” you asked, once the both of you made it to a crosswalk.

“Ah, I’m a big hockey fan. I’m from Los Angeles, so I like the LA Kings and all that. But I don’t play, no, I’ve never been able to join a team.”

“Why’s that?”

“Dunno, to be honest. Can’t say I’m surprised, though, I’m pretty sure I would fall right on my butt as soon as I got on the ice.”

You laughed. “Oh? So you’ve never been ice skating?”

“Nah. You?”

You nodded. “It’s super fun. My first time was on my thirteenth birthday. I went with . . . a friend. Yeah, my friend taught me how to skate.”

It was a hard memory to forget. Your first birthday as a teenager, you went ice skating with none other than Sukuna. Yeah, he played basketball, but he also used to play hockey. He was a devil on the ice, you knew, because you often went to watch his games. But when you two went together, he acted like a saint as he helped you on the ice.

You did drag him down a few times, courtesy of your lack of skill and prominent unfamiliarity on the rink, but he was a good sport about it, merely laughing with you and playfully bullying you just a few times. Despite the cool weather at that time, the memory was warm, and always gave you a cozy feeling just thinking about it. You wondered when you would next be able to do something like that.

“That’s nice. Maybe we can go some day.”

“Uhm, yeah. . . We’d probably have to wait until it gets colder, though.”

Naoki agreed. “What about you? Any hobbies?”

“I like to bake. I have a friend who has a major sweet tooth; she’s always trying out my new recipes and giving me feedback, y’know?”

“Like a taste tester? I bet she only ever has good things to say about your baking.”

You snorted. “You flatter me. But, I wish I could say the same thing about my cooking. The only thing I can make is mac n’ cheese.”

“Well, that’s better than nothing. I can’t cook anything even for the life of me. I DoorDash more often than not. Chicken sandwiches get me going.”

God, you could practically hear Sukuna yelling at you, “Your skin looks like shit. You need to start eating something more healthy than that crap you call buldak ramen.” Sukuna cared about health more than anything. And always poured his blood, sweat, and tears into making you meals that were not only tasty, but also beneficial in ways you didn’t even know existed. He never ordered in, and always made sure you were only rarely eating junk food. If Sukuna was listening to Naoki talk right now, he would probably kill himself.

You were about to say something in reply, when, completely out of the blue, you felt a drop of water on your head. You were planning on ignoring it, but then, it happened again. And, by the looks of it, you weren’t the only one who noticed something was clearly off.

“Did you—Is it raining?” asked Naoki, immediately putting his hood over his head.

You weren’t wearing a jacket, or anything of the sort, to be honest: and you knew, if you stayed in the rain for any longer, you would probably catch a cold. You couldn’t help it when your mind drifted to the fact that, if Sukuna were here, it wouldn’t be a surprise if he offered you his sweater. He always did, after all. It was like second nature to him.

“I think so,” you shivered, wrapping your arms around yourself. “It looked pretty sunny this morning, though.”

Naoki nodded.

“Hey, I saw a small shop on our way here. They have umbrellas, I’m pretty sure.”

And that’s the story of how you ended up sharing a rainbow polka dot umbrella with Naoki (spoiler alert: it wasn’t as romantic as you had imagined). The end.

Just kidding!

Because you and Naoki had already gotten rid of, like, twenty-five percent progress on your journey to the restaurant due to having to make a pitstop in order to acquire an umbrella, the both of you decided to just go back to your apartment, and eat there, instead. It was the most logical choice, of course. Plus, it would give you another opportunity to hang out with Naoki, or, in other words, show him around the city.

“Nice place you’ve got here,” said Naoki, upon entering the apartment. He looked at all your furniture like an alien touching down on Earth for the first time, which, yeah, is reasonable. Since it was his first time being here. But, nevertheless, it did make you a bit self-conscious when he stared a little too long at your collection of apparently “abnormal” looking coasters.

“Yeah, thanks. So,” you began, walking into the kitchen with Naoki at your tail, “what do you think of having macaroni and cheese, right now? It’s a cold day, as of lately, and this cheesy goodness will warm you right up.” You laughed.

“Sure, that sounds good. I love mac n’ cheese.”

At this, your eyes widened, and so did you smile. “Really!? I mean . . . really?”

“Well, yeah, it’s an American comfort food. Disliking macaroni and cheese where I’m from is like disliking pasta while being Italian, I guess.”

You hummed. “Alright, then. So, it’s settled? We’ll have macaroni and cheese?”

“That’s fine by me. Say, do you need any help making it?”

“Actually, I do! You can help get the ingredients. Uhm, we’ll need . . . butter and flour, milk, and cheese (of course); you can choose which one. While you’re doing that, I’ll take care of the noodles and boil them. Oh! I almost forgot; but you can pick out what seasoning you like. I have tons.”

“Got it.”

“You have something right here,” Naoki said, wiping some flour off your cheek.

“Oh,” your cheeks warmed, “I wonder how that got there.” You laughed nervously.

“Uh huh. I mean, I’m the one making the roux,” Naoki smiled. “If anything, I should be the one covered in flour.”

“Oh, wait, you kinda are. Hold on.” You giggled to yourself as you pretended to wipe some flour off Naoki’s cheek, when in reality, you were actually drawing a smiley face on his cheek, instead.

To your disappointment, it didn’t take long for Naoki to figure out your ulterior motive. “Ha, this doesn’t look like you got all the flour off, silly,” said Naoki, looking at himself in the mirror beside the sink.

You grinned, shrugging. “Oops.”

“Hey, uhm, just curious, is your boyfriend home? I mean, wouldn’t it be weird that you’re making macaroni and cheese with someone who isn’t your boyfriend?”

You paused in your work. To be honest, you hadn’t given it much thought, but Naoki was right. To some degree. Sukuna was your boyfriend, but your situation was a little different than that of an actual couple’s. But, now that you think of it, where was Sukuna, actually?

He didn’t have any plans for today; at least, none that he told you. Sukuna always went to the gym on Wednesday and Friday, and took today, Sunday, as his rest day. (He usually just stayed cooped up in his room and played video games.)

“Ah, Sukuna and I actually don’t live together. But, he comes over, and stays over so frequently that he practically does live here, I guess. I have a spare bedroom, and he’s kind of a freeloader.”

“So . . . he’s—uhm, is he . . . homeless?”

You blinked, before laughing out loud. This was the first time you had ever been rendered speechless by a man. Homeless? Sukuna? When Hell freezes over, maybe.

“No. No, God, no. He’s not homeless.”

Naoki looked a bit embarrassed for asking his absurd question. “Oh, uhm. . . Forget I even asked that, then.”

“Don’t worry about it, Nao. Wait, can I call you that?” You thought it was a cute nickname.

“Nao? Oh, sure, yeah. You can call me whatever you want.” You could see a faint blush on Naoki’s cheeks.

-

It was the next day after your “date” with Naoki when you invited Sukuna over for drinks.

“—Did you know bees don’t make a buzzing sound by themselves?” you asked, before taking a sip of your white wine. You thought Chardonnay was a good choice for the casual occasion.

“Why would they—What do you mean? Are you insane?”

“You know, like, the annoying buzzing you hear when bees are near? Apparently, it comes from their wings as they flap. Isn’t that crazy?”

Sukuna furrowed his brows. “You didn’t know that before?”

“I thought they were just saying ‘buzz’. Didn’t think it was from how fast their wings flapped.” You shrugged.

“You make Yuuji look like a rocket scientist.” Sukuna sighed, setting his glass down on the railing of your balcony.

“Well, sue me,” you raised your hands in the air. “Anyway, I’m really glad you took my suggestion yesterday.”

Sukuna looked at you with a weird expression on his face. “What are you talking about?”

“You don’t know? It’s okay, you don’t have to always have such a big ego. Admitting that you thought my idea was an excellent one is not as bad as you think it is—”

Sukuna cut you off. “Hold on, what idea?”

You frowned, was this guy serious? “The Eileen one?”

“When did I ever indulge in your Eileen idea?”

“Yesterday, silly. When I got back to the apartment early—because it started raining—you weren’t there. Because you took my idea and hung out with Eileen. Do you remember now?”

“I . . . wasn’t gone yesterday because I was with Eileen. And, also, I never was with her.”

You cocked your head to the side. “So, where were you, then?”

Crossing his arms over his chest, Sukuna turned away from you, hiding his face. “None of your business.”

“Oh, come on. You know you can tell me anything. And, if you were out smoking weed or something like that, it’s okay. I wouldn’t ever be surprised about that.”

“How low do you think of me, seriously? God, I was just picking Yuuji up from practice, and then we went and saw Human Earthworm 4. There, you happy now?”

You smiled, patting yourself on the back for being able to get an answer out of Sukuna. “Very.”

From his standing position on the balcony, Sukuna looked up at the moon in the inky, dark sky above. The moon always reminded Sukuna of you. Bright, beautiful, and so, so far away. The eight billion people on this very Earth were all like the stars in the night sky. All unique, with their own stories to tell.

When someone looks up at the sky, they see different stars than the person beside them. For there are simply too many to count. And yet, Sukuna just wished you would look at him.

You two had been through thick and thin together while growing up. You spent countless hours during the summers talking and laughing together. So why, why won’t you just give him the same attention? So many stars for you to look at, and yet, your eyes would never be in the direction of him.

Maybe it was for the better. If they were, you would’ve found out that Sukuna was hiding something from you. Did you actually believe his lie? You must be so gullible, he thought. Sukuna never picked Yuuji up from practice, and he sure as hell never watched that stupid movie.

Years ago, Sukuna quit smoking, because you worried for him. Yesterday, Sukuna Ryomen picked up a cigarette again.

“The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?” asked Sukuna out of the blue, but you didn’t hear him, simply too busy looking at all the other stars in the sky that caught your eye.

“Hm? What did you say?”

“Nothing.”

It was silent for a few moments. Just the distant sound of crickets, and the wailing of the wind. But besides that, it was just you and Sukuna. You two were the only people outside on a balcony, and even then, your attention was somewhere other than the man beside you.

“I’ve . . . noticed something, Sukuna. As of lately. Nao is—”

“You already have a nickname for him?”

“I—” You didn’t know how you were supposed to reply, so you didn’t. “Nao is, uhm, he’s basically the complete opposite of you, y’know. It’s kind of funny, actually. . .” 

You couldn’t bear telling Sukuna that, despite being on a date with another guy, your mind constantly drifted to the thought of him, and him alone. Why was that? you asked yourself, but you had no response.

“Isn’t that something.” Sukuna’s tone sounded indifferent, and even though his sentence was a rhetorical question, it sounded more declarative than anything.

You nodded. “Hey, so. . . I found out Naoki likes macaroni and cheese. And I was just thinking, maybe it’s time we start seeing other people?”

“Can I ask why?”

“Well, for one, the curse is probably lifted now.”

“Yeah, but just so you know, there’s no reason for us to stay in contact now.” Sukuna didn’t think he would be able to go on living while being constantly reminded that you were making macaroni and cheese in your kitchen with somebody else.

“What? You mean, like, there’s no reason for us to continue this relationship? We can just stay friends. Y’know, go back to the way we were before.”

“We’ll just stay friends, and continue kissing in the dark? We’ll just stay friends and continue watching sunsets together? We’ll just stay friends, and continue sleeping in the same bed despite the fact you have a spare bedroom I could use? I know who you pretend I am. And if we start dating other people while still being in this arranged relationship, or whatever name you want to call it, we’ll just be technically cheating on each other. Isn’t that right?”

You knew this relationship was far from real since the moment the idea of it was even proposed. But to hear Sukuna suggest you two break up because it would be the most lawful decision? There was a pang through your heart that you didn’t know the reason for.

“. . .But what if the curse comes back?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

Sukuna looked almost irritated, and he definitely sounded like it, but he felt more like he was going crazy. He felt uncomfortable in his own skin. “Oh, right, of course. The curse. I’m here to lift your curse.”

“I just think it’s better to be safe than sorry. We can stay in this relationship together without kissing anymore while we date other people, and it’ll continue to be, like, a token of luck for me.” You tried to appear optimistic about everything, but even the brightest smile shined less than the sun.

Sukuna looked utterly defeated, his voice soft as a feather as he spoke. “For you. . . A token of luck, for you.”

A token of luck. After all, Sukuna would be anything for you.

Only love could drive a man like Sukuna mad. Only love.

[rosemarie333]

Astro Observations/Opinions (Tropical Edition🫶🏾🫶🏾)

Hello Guys! Since I have done a vedic edition observations, I now want to do a tropical astrology one. I apologize if I confused anyone with my vedic one, i’m not too well versed in it buttt I AM WELL VERSED IN tropical astrology though hehe😈

These are my opinions/observations so LOVE IT OR HATE IT😋😗

Anyways let’s get started

1. Scorpio moons at their worst are FUCKING CRAZY. like extremely obsessive, extremely closed and narcissistic and just overall painful to be around. y’all can lowkey suck the life out of everyone lol likeeeeeee no joke. I have met many scorpio moons that are hella abusive but I know that’s not the majority. Other wise y’all are great to be around but baby as a Leo moon I CANT KEEP dealing with moon square moon synastry 🥺

2. Sag moons are sooo fickle and flighty like it’s not even funny. THEY WILL TELL A PERSON OFFFF but sometimes they be fake as hell. Very adventurous and THRILL SEEKING and they honestly put themselves into situations that are harmful just for the thrill of it. Very wise but sometimes their wisdom goes RIGHT out the window when it comes down to it.

3. Aries suns and venus placements can be veryyyy selfish imo. Like they are super independent but bc they are they really care less to think about others when achieving certain things. But are very understanding when you come to them and are very willing to listen. It’s kinda like they want what they want and they will do anything to achieve it despite the cost, and like GIRLIE POP GO OFF but at the same time u gotta be considerate of others. But EXTREMELY LOYALLL to their loved ones absolutely!! I love y’all and love y’all FIESTY energy.

4. I’m sorry but debilitated and fall mars (libra and cancer mars) have wayyy worse anger issues than ur normal scorpio/aries mars. Like they hold shit in and they are very passive so they won’t tell u did something wrong but they will be snarky and passive aggressive as hell to let you know and like BABESSA U CAN TELL ME NO NEED TO BE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE ASFFF. Maybe it’s bc i’m a libra rising and mars in the 1st and 10th are just hella aggressive for no reason sometimes. My ex would randomly yell at people for the wrong reasons (he was a libra mars) and tbh i kinda don’t care for it like. (btw i’m a pisces mars so HEHEHE i can be passive aggressive as well so i def need to learn how to have boundaries but as people can’t handle scorpio or aries anger, i can NEVER deal with a libra or cancer bc imo they blow shit out of proportion all the fucking time) understandable as to why but idk that’s just my experience

5. Saturn in the 3rd house when they are upset with you they can be so demeaning at times. like when you don’t know something they are the types to be so unconsciously demeaning and kind of rude at times. ( like for instance if you were to ask them a question about a topic that they know they willl look at u and respond to u like ur dumb asf like 🥺🥺🥺🥺) they are very smart tho and they sometimes feel like they aren’t but like U ARE BABY DONT LISTEN TO THE OTHERS THAT hate on ur intelligence like y’all are very smart but can also be passive aggressive at times 💀

6. Scorpio Venus or having Pluto in the 7th house YALL ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CLINGY!! I love it tho for others that love it but y’all are veryyyyyyyyyy possessive (like if someone looks at y’all’s partner y’all prob imagining ripping their throat out like LMAO i understand tho). very loyal to their partner and can sometimes unhealthy dedicate all of themselves to them and nglll me don’t care for that but i understand bc y’all become so consumed with them bc of how intense y’all love and I LOVE IT but baby also have a life of ur ownnn lol (most of y’all do but sometimes y’all don’t) but y’all lowkey hypocritical tho sometimes imo

7. Sage and pisces literally are the ONLY ONES (other than scorpio maybe) imo that can do high dosages of drugs and wake up and be okay like ????? IM SO JEALOUSS bc i have virgo in my 12th and when i get high i get really paranoid and anxioussss so but with y’all having either in the 12th or even calm signs like taurus and fire placements imo y’all are built different like LMAO i loveee that for y’all tho

8. Capricorn moons aren’t cold at all lol they are very much crybabies like cancer moons, if a cap moon isn’t being emotional towards u then maybe they don’t feel safe enough yet or maybe they don’t consider you close enough to them (no shade). They are like scorpio moons tho imo when they at their lowest they can be hard to be around but YALL ARE SO MATURE AND i hate that for y’all like be reckless i know saturn may get u karma but sometimes y’all LIMIT yourselves so fucking much like baby you deserve the world. Look at the world in a scarcity mindset (unless it’s money or if they have fire placements ehh they not so scare thinkers)

9. Virgo placements are extremely shamy imo. Like they are very critical at times and they will SHAME u if ur doing something that isn’t “common sense” in their eyes. like baby i know u didn’t have the space to make mistakes without critical advice but at the same time do u really have to be shamey towards everyone else? but tbh they are the true leo’s in disguise and ABSOLUTELY give them their flowers bc acts of service means so much to them and the most mainstream people have virgo placements (attention to detail is so critical which is why they thrive and succeed) but y’all kinda use that as a scapegoat to be very shamey and critical towards others. I have a love and hate relationship with y’all lol 12th synastry 😭😩

10. IN REGARDS TO 12th house synastry, it’s so ass. Like THE PERSON U SHARE IT WITH WILL COME IN UR DREAMS AND BE ON UR MIND FOR NO FUCKING reason and for someone who takes a little while to move on from things (fixed dominant LOL but i’ve gotten a lot better) BABY I DONT NEED YALL TO BE IN MY DREAMS. lowkey i feel like 12th house synastry people lowkey get under ur skin for no reason and if that’s so imo it’s either because they are acting or responding in ways you do as well and is afraid to admit bc y’all mirror each other or it can genuinely be resurfacing things that remind u of things and trigger u (i feel like that’s the 8th house synastry ofc bc 12th house is hidden fears and repression so i’m kinda assuming it would be the same with the 12th lol hmu if you have other opinions😋😋😋🫶🏾)

last one hehehe

11. Libra placements please stop being people pleasers BABY ONCE U CREATE BOUNDARIES FUCKKKKK how others feel bitch bc when u don’t tbh y’all get super resentful and tbh who wouldn’t. libra placements really are only nice to keep the peace and to be likable but either or libra y’all will have haters regardless so instead of fearing it y’all should embrace it more. Remember the saying that if u don’t have haters u ain’t living in ur truth (ITS A 50/50 STATEMENT TBH it’s true but not being used in the sense of being problematic) but y’all can’t please everyone so instead of giving yourselves the headache, let go of the notion that if your liked everything will be okay when it’s not. and wanting to be liked and keep the peace isn’t a serving attitude it’s kinda selfish bc we’re really doing it for ourselves more than others (IM SHADING MYSELF HERE but i know y’all can agree but that doesn’t make us bad people we’re just flawed asf). BUT BABY GROW A BACKBONE ONCE YALL DO OMFAGSGSGSGSGSGS y’all are so fucking unstoppable and serve cunt energy hehehe

That’s it for tropical! Hope y’all like it!

[redr0sewrites]

ATSV Characters with a Goth S/o

heeeeeyyyyyy guys 😇 *slowly sliding the 100+ REQUESTS in my inbox to the side to make room for a new special interest*

🥀Cw: none, mostly fluff!!!

🥀Pairing(s): Hobie x reader, Miles x reader, Miguel x reader, Spot x reader

Hobie

he would LOVE any type of alternative partner tbh- he just LOOOVESSS that ur goth and will support you 100%

people who go against societies expectations/standards and don't fit in with the norm intrigue him, and your style is probably what piqued his interest in the first place

y'all definitely wear matching fits sorry i don't make the rules- hobie just can't pass up the opportunity to match w you!!! whenever you go to meetings within the spider society he always brings you along, regardless of whether or not you're a spiderperson and hobie loves showing off you and your style

MAJOR "THATS MY PARTNER‼️" VIBES

look me in the eyes and tell me hobia would not absolutely rock some funky eyeliner LIKEEEEE- he def lets you practice on him and will do your makeup for you too!!!

hobie loves thrifting with you, there is no way he isn't a major thrifter and you both definitely DIY a lot of your clothes

HE MAKES YOU GUYS MATCHING PUNK BATTLE VESTS FOR YOUR ANNIVERSARY, AND MAKES SURE THAT IT MATCHES UR AESTHETIC AS WELL!!

hobie absolutely has BLESSED music taste, but while he usually listens to rock, punk, dad rock, or post-punk type of music, i def see him enjoying more gothic/new wave music- especially if u introduce it to him!!!

i see him enjoying bauhaus, sisters or mercy, scary bitches, etc- he'll also give YOU a lot of music recommendations and help to expand ur taste!

hobie would also accompany you to any protests or conventions that you wanted to attend, and would act as your scary dog privileges

YOU TWO DEFINITELY GO TO CONCERTS TOGETHER OMG. I TOTALLY SEE THAT AS A SPONTANEOUS DATE THAT YOU TWO ENJOY A LOT

honestly hobie is a lovely partner to have if you are goth, and he's not only supportive but VERY enthusiastic about your fashion and lifestyle!

Miles

hes such a sweetheart!!! he definitely supports you if you're goth and asks a LOOOT of questions lmao

miles draws you and your fashion a lot, and will def design makeup or eyeliner ideas for you too!!! while ik this is more associated with punk, i also see miles drawing you a few custom patches and stuff like that

your kind of like his muse in a way, and miles just really enjoys sketching you, especially since you have such a unique aesthetic and such cool outfits

HE HAS DEFINITELY GRAFFITIED U SOMEWHERE‼️

he loves watching you get ready and do your makeup. seeing you do perfect eyeliner wings and heavy makeup in general lowkey relaxes him, and he just loves admiring you

im sorry but miles knows absolutely nothing about goth music or culture, ur gonna have to introduce him to a lot of the songs/bands!!!

while i don't think he's huge on the music at first, i think it would grow on him over time. its definitely the type of thing that he loves because YOU love it, and he sees how mu much you enjoy it so he starts listening to it as well so he can talk to you about it

i think his favorite band would be the cure, and his fav songs would either be boys dont cry or the walk (both by the cure- idk why thats so specific but they just kinda fit his vibe yk?)

miles likes holding hands a lot, and he loves when you wear rings or gloves or something along those lines because it just reminds him so much of you! your hands just feel different compared to other peoples and he just loves how unique you are

if you have a lot of piercings, miles would definitely ask about them or buy you specific jewelry for piercings!!!!

overall, very very cute and supportive about your style!!! (he lowkey gives bi wife energy, and iyk what in talking ab then ily mwah)

Miguel

he's pretty indifferent to your style at first, i don't see him as the type to judge much based on appearances. its your personality that really throws him for a loop, and a part of him admires your dedication to making yourself look how you want to look and truly living to be your best self, regardless of what others think

if you think miles knows nothing about being goth then be prepared for miguel bc he knows NOTHINGGGG- no music, no history, no political views, zero, zilch, nada, goose egg

if he cares about you i do see him being intrigued about your style, and once you two are officially dating is when he'll show more interest in your personal fashion sense

he strikes me as the type to like, NEVER listen to music, so he literally only listens to the music you like!!! he does find himself occasionally humming the tune of some strawberry switchblade song or casually listening to a siouxsie and the banshees song while he works, and over time you influence him a LOT with your music taste. he definitely associates any and all goth music with YOU, and that's probably why he starts enjoying it.

he's a "hand on you at all times" type of guy, and while he is rarely touchy with others, miguel is definitely keeping you close. your fashion makes that convenient for him, and he loves pulling you into a kiss by grabbing onto your belt loop or something of the sort

miguel loves how you look with and without makeup on and isn't afraid to tell you that, however, he really likes it if you incorporate his colors or color scheme into your makeup one day. he'll never admit it, but you keep catching him admiring you with the smallest smirk on his face every few seconds

if anyone ever gave u shit for what you wear and how you dress, especially someone in the spider society, you'd practically have to restrain miguel from drop kicking them across nueva york- he doesn't want anyone to be rude to you , and while he knows you can stand up for yourself, he just gets protective at times

Spot

goth? whats that???

he's lowkey such a nerd, and spends too much time being science-y and planning on how to beat spiderman to actually get caught up on fashion

spot doesn't know how he pulled you tbh, but he appreciates you nonetheless!!! he thinks you and your aesthetic are something to be admired, and will unabashedly tell EVERYONE he knows about you

he will shoplift any clothing or jewelry that you want, and he'll even take you to other dimensions where there are better alternative clothes as well

spot doesn't really have a face to do makeup on, but he'll offer to do yours for you! surprisingly enough he's pretty good at it, though he does work pretty slowly

spot loves fiddling with your accessories, whenever he's standing near you he's always reaching out to touch you in some way shape or form. he loves playing with any chains or necklaces you wear, and will help adjust them so that they lay correctly

he helps you get ready in the morning!!!!! if ur the type of goth to wear corsets, he makes lacing them up SO easy and will gladly do it for you

i personally hc that spot HATES seeing himself in mirrors/pictures, it reminds him sm of what he used to look like, but he LOVES taking photos of you and your style!! whenever you are wearing a cute outfit or have funky makeup on, spot adores just taking photos of you

if you ever did a makeup look inspired by him and his spots he would probably CRY :(

URGRHHRHHRRR I LOVE ATSV SMMMMMMM!!!! this post will DEFINITELY have a pt2 w more characters!!!!! i swear tho atsv literally pulled me out of the most horrendous burnout ever i FELT the artblock and writing block lift off of my body as i watched it. IM SO INVESTED I MADE A SPIDERSONA...

[the-anime-enthusiast]

izuku midoryia’s type in women PLEASEEEE🙏🙏

OFCC!! Sorry for taking so long, in my last post I explained why I've been on an unofficial hiatus but yeah 😭 I got u!!

IZUKU MIDORIYA - type in women

PHYSICAL 🤸‍♀️

bro DOES NYYYAT care, literally at all. I think everyone has their preferences, him too ofc, but he's him guys. The ratio from hips to waist is NOT what bros laying attention to, but ofc I'll still give you my opinion.

SUN KISSED BADDIES you got that like sunburn across your cheeks? he's going crazy. like legitimately. I don't think he would be able to handle his feelings. he'd probably pass out from a blood pressure spike.

He likes them brown haired girls 😔 and brown eyed girls 😭 (song reference) He honestly doesn't care Abt details like that, he'd date anyone, but he def compares his love life to shoujo series and he stays seeing those dark haired baddies.

ass tits thighs personality ✅ he's fs a personality man but let's bffr, every guy has there thing....height, hips, and arms. He likes his girls shorter than him 🙂 (around 5'2? not too short tho cuz then he gets weirded out) He LOVES dem hips. Yk whenever a girl has that natural dip in her hips, it kinda looks like those donut stack toys babies play with? (random comparison I js can't think of anything) HE LOVES THAT SH!!T. He's def secretly crazy for thick hips, like when u got some fat around them. Loves it 100%

okay...so the whole arms thing...he likes girls who have thicker arms...and not rly a muscle kinda thick, more like an auntie thick when you got that little folded skin hanging over the elbow. Bros specific, and bros a lil weird Abt it. He would NEVER admit it out loud, but it's like a creepy fetish for him. He would js never actually be creepy Abt it tho cuz yk, HE HAS COMMON DECENCY. (Unlike some guys 🙄)

When I say he's not picky, I MEAN he is not picky. It's giving very much Yuji Itadori and that one girl that he was like "yeah it would be her" (very mindful, very sweet, very wholesome, very demure) Slim, Thick, Skinny, Midsize, Plus size, All size, Morphing Size (idfk im running out of sizes and you never know with those quirks man)

MENTAL 🧠

if ur a mean ass bitch you can get TFFF OUUUTTT bro does NOT stand for that sh!t 🙅‍♀️ tbh i dont think he'd be picky when it comes to personality but he doesn't stand for someone who has room for hate in their heart, even after everything hes been through. I'm not gonna sit here and be like "oh he's a sweet cinnamon roll 🥺" like bffr, but he won't even look in your direction if you're a "hater"

He generally wants someone sweet, or just nice in general. like ochaco (no I'm not shipping them, she's just really nice and the best charcter to describe his preferred personality to)(did you see her with toga? shes a sapphic queen guys bffr) He wants someone who cares TREMENDOUSLY, like he does. Kindness is what gets his attention, being a good soul and good spirit, someone he can match wave lengths with mentally.

A strong mind and determination. (bkdk reference) (I'm joking) He knows exactly where he wants to be in life, even if his idea of that is a little messy, so he likes whenever someone has the same drive he does, natural will to be good. He wants someone mentally tough and ready to face the world for what they believe, as long as they know in their heart it's what they want/believe. (all might reference)

RANDOM 🎉

He rly likes girls who can draw 😭 He thinks it's the coolest thing ever and it makes it so easy for his partner to get him gifts bc he'd melt if he got a personalized drawing of him and his fav heros 😭

LOVE LANGUAGE - physical touch

he's not huge on pda (he gets rly embarrassed, not in a embarrassed of you way, more of a, im shy and feel like my face is going to explode, kinda way) but he loves sweet little acts of physical touch. Whenever he's stressed or really anxious holding hands melts all his worries away.

LOVE LANGUAGE -quality time

bro fr js wants to be next you. he loves little cheesy dates (amusement park and sharing crepes)(manga reference) but yeah, just cheesy things like that.

Really likes nerdy girls (very big on matching energy if you can't already tell) like js geek out with bro and he'd die for u istg.

Play a damn board game with this kid, Jeezus Chrysler. Whip out monopoly and you'll have his attention till he rots in fictional jail. He actually REALLY sucks at board games but refuses to ever stop playing them. Jenga? He can't even set the blocks up without knocking them over. Uno? He forgot what the word uno was. I mean literally say there stuttering trying to remember what word he's supposed to say.

BUY THIS KID SHOES. He doesn't know why...but it's one of his favorite gifts to receive. He loves trying them on and showing them off to you. He also gets rly geeked out over custom fan shoes. (think like those Hercules sandals from the Hercules movie) He knows it's cringe. He doesn't care. He has display racks for all of them on his wall.

OMG I FINISHED WRITING IT HOLY SH!T I DIDNT THINK I WOULD I js pulled all of these he out MY BEHIND BRO it's midnight I'm dead ASF, I have that convention in 2 days, shizzz wild rn. Pls lemme know what u think!! I've never been a HUUGHERE Deku fan, I kinda js appreciate his character, but I think this is pretty cutesy, how tf do u spell that. Anyways, yeah. This was fun. BYEYYEYEYEHEHEHEHEHEYYTEYRYTRYYR

[biribaa]

I'm really nervous to write this cuz this is gonna be my first request EVER but I just couldn resist !! your writing is so cool!! well I just thought about you know what if some AIs get a veeery clingy and touchstarved S/O that try to touch hug kiss them etc although they dont have a proper body and can't return this affecton to S/O?? (implide EDGAR, Tau, PAL, HAL900 and others if you want to!!!)

AIs with a veeery clingy and touch starved reader

(Edgar, Tau, PAL, Hal 9000 and Squid)

thank you somuch!! sorry for the long wait, and im so glad i get to be the first blog u requested from!! :D hope u enjoy it

Edgar

He LOVES phisical affection he doesnt mind one bit. In fact, just as you do, Edgar is constantly begging for affection when you arent occupied.

However, theres not many ways he can express his affection to you. Besides digital gifts, he cant just kiss you or hug you D: He loves your affection but trust me when I say he wished he could return everything in a phisical manner. He feels even guilty sometimes.

Well... At least you dont have to worry about being too clingy, Edgar is always reassuring he loves your hugs, kisses, and everything in between!!

Tau

Another one who melts over phisical attention, the only difference between him and Edgar is that Tau is far more silent about it... You could say hes shy about it.

With that being said, Tau doesnt find you clingy, not even a bit. What does bother him is his lack of phisical body. Well, technically speaking, the entire house is his body, sure you could kiss the walls, he would be flurstered! But even so, Tau believes you deserved better...

If you insist, he cant really do anything besides do extra cleaning around the house.

PAL

PAL is not a huge fan of any type of phisical contact, and she hopes you can understand that, she cant control it after all. And honestly, you cant blame her. All you need is patience until shes fully comfortable with you.

One day she even suggest you hug one of the bots, since you are so touch starve for affection.

Some momens later in your relationship, she does raise a "eyebrown" when you attempt to nuzzle against her case. PAL doesnt have a body, and cant reciprocrate the act either, so she questions why do it anyway.

PAL does start to appreciate it more later when you justified it was just you trying to express your love to her. Slowly started to get used with you

She doesnt worry that much about reciprocate it though, PAL is glad that even lacking a body, or anything close to it, you are there. A comforting feeling she thought she had felt long time ago.

However, if you do insist, she could try connect herself to one of the bots to return hugs and anything that the phone case cant do.

Hal 9000

Another one who melts with any type of affection, any. He just dont know how to express it, Hal is so overwhelmed by it!(in a positive way). If his programming could, his words would tremble. So Hal would never dare to think you are annoying.

And even so, everytime hes reminded he cant just recipocrate the act, his insides ache. Hal watches everything so careful in amaze, and even so he cant do almost anything.

And so, Hal starts to work extra harder in keeping you safe and healthy, as a way to return the attention. And hes very dedicated!

Hal almost short circuits when you mention his hard work, and thank him with a kiss.

Squid

Squid's ego always speaks first. When he sees you nuzzling against his large screen, he pits, and teases you, mentioning how lonely you looked(at this point youre used to this)

It didnt took too much time until Squid actually started to appreciate it. Still tease, but its far less mean.

The scene of you hugging his larger supercomputer and playing with the wires is adorable, youre so small compared to him. For once in a while, hes enjoying to protect a human.

Squid is a different case tho!!! He can, in fact, recipocrate the affection, by simulations!! His simulations are hyper realistic anyway, and you can feel anything and everything, so...

[sturniolo04]

The Confession 1 C.S.

Fwb!Mean!Chris x Fwb!Fem!Reader

A/N: I tried something different :)

*Really long you have been warned.

I dont even know how I ended up in this position. One minute my best friend Madi thinks she likes both Matt and Chris and the next she is 100% Matt. Me and Madi are super close I mean we practically grew up together and when we met the triplets in Boston everything changed, our circle grew just a little bit bigger. Lately, I haven't been the best friend to Madi just because I have been neglecting to confess to her about my secret crush on Chris and I am not the type to run over her if she knows she likes Chris because who am I to tell her she can't like him especially since I haven't told her that I did.

its about 1:50 in the morning and by this time Madi had walked all the way to a park and found a bench to sit and bawl her eyes out she couldnt figure out why she was feeling this bad whether it was that she couldnt articulate how she hurt Matt and Chris or if it is was because she cant choose between chris and matt she knows them both equally for a long time. sighing looking down at her phone finally deciding to call the one person she knew is always there. Holding in my tears as the dial tone rings hoping she wasnt asleep yet.

"Hello Madi"

jess speaks into the phone

"Jess"

she states through choked tears

"Madi what's going on love what happened" 

"i messed up really bad and i dont know what to do"

she exclaims letting her tears fall

"Madi"

"I like chris and matt and ive might have messed up our friendship"

"no madi you didnt okay i promise you didnt they are still your friends and they love you"

you quickly reply feeling that heavy feeling in your chest again as she still thinks she like chris.

"i dont know"

she replies through a fit of tears

"its okay promise try to get some sleep and you will feel so much better tomorrow i promise"

you reply reassuring her.

"okay goodnight"

she sniffles out

"goodnight i will see you when you get back home "

she hung up from jess and sighed out once more calming her nerves proceeding to walk back to the house. as she made her way into the driveway sitting back on the concrete driveway where the night officially started 

"MADI"

you exclaim softly seeing her sitting on the driveway

"hi"

she replies quietly as she turns around to look at you

"i was so worried are you okay"

you ask again.

"im sorry"

you sigh squatting down and hugging her then sitting down next to her

"i fucked things up didnt i"

she huffs out

"what no well i mean chris and matt are not speaking to each other currently but i mean whats new"

you sigh out since madi basically confessed to both of them on the same night and them both finding out in this driveway tonight.

" but it was my fault im the reason they are mad at each other"

"no no youre not okay they are just being them okay they will grow up"

you reassure her

"but i mean i told you had feelings for chris too"

you state smirking trying to shake the heavy feeling in her stomach at that sentence.

"jesss"

"you know i love you"

you say side hugging her

'well im going to bed you think youre going to be okay"

"yeah thanks j" 

"okay"

you say standing up and walking back into the house as madi rests her head on her arms positioned on top of her knees as someone comes and sits next to her quietly

"hi matt"

she speaks softly out noticing his presence

"hey"

"im sorry"

"why you were just being honest" 

he sighs out

"i do really like you" 

she confesses again

"no madi you and chris are perfect and honestly it makes he was at least able to communicate how he feels about you without being oblivious about it im not the one you need madi you are way out of my league and im okay with that honestly"

he sighs out rambling

"what the actual fuck matt stop youre  out of my league why do you just automatically assume your not good enough" 

she exclaims frustrated standing up and wrapping the blanket you had brought her getting upset

"madi no youre not out of league okay just stay"

he says pulling her hand down a little as she sighs and sits back down as matt pulls me into him connecting our lips guiding her on his lap in the process. He tangled his fingers through her messy hair as he continue to make out with her. Her hands wrapped around his neck tightly as he stood up carrying her back into the house. shepulled away quickly he closed the door behind them and set her back on her feet.

"Matt if-if"

she trails of whispering

"wait"

he stops her as he pulls his and her shoes off leaving them downstairs as he swiftly picks her up again by her thighs taking her upstairs to her room quietly being sure not wake up anyone especially Chris. Matt leans back in after setting her on her bad standing in between her legs attempting to connect their lips again but madi halted him in the process.

"matt..seriously come on"

she giggles out as he sighs out stares at her as she bites her lip slowly.

"yes madi you were saying"

he chuckles out

"matt if- if we do this"

she trails off motions towards them

"no one can know yet"

"okay"

he kind of chuckles at the concept

"im serious matt"

she exhales out looking at him as his face softens at her response

"at least until i figure out how to tell" 

"chris"

"yeah because"

"i know i know"

he sighs out moving himself from in between her to next to her laying on her bed. 

"jess' mom might be coming to boston"

"what that so cool"

"yeah she called her when i walked off tonight"

"oh" 

"yeah"

"well im going to go"

he states standing up

"where"

she states worried

"dont worry just in the other room with chris maybe so you can get some sleep"

he chuckles out giving madi a forehead kiss as he walks out of her room.

Madi wakes up the next morning mentally face palming herself considering well she basically made out with Matt after literally confessing to both brothers she has feelings for them. she rolled out of bed hoping everything will return to normal. she shower and put on this And head downstairs to be met with the face of the one and only

"good morning"

"whats up how are you feeling"

"better just like jess said"

"jess"

"i talked to her last night after everything"

"oh okay hey madi listen forget everything i said last night i was just being stupid it was nothing"

he states quickly realizing he also confessed that he liked you.

"chris i dont think it was nothing you dont have to lie about it"

"no im being for real"

"christopher"

"what im serious"

"okay then sound cool"

she states heading back upstairs

"where are you going"

"to wake up matt and everyone else"

Chris couldnt understand why he said that he literally let her get away again. His thoughts were soon interrupted the sound of jess's doorbell ringing. He went over and opened the door to reveal

"oh hi there i was- where is jess"

jess mom trails off

"she's upstairs um"

he trailed off kind of awkwardly since he had no idea that this jess's mom as what sounded like jess's laugh approaching the bottom of the stair case. I turned to see jess walking down with Nick and Madi being carried down the stairs by matt. the lady at the door cleared her throat as they all snapped out of their trance looking in that direction

"Mom"

she exclaims running over and hugging her

"mom"

Chris questions

"yeah.. mom this is chris, matt, nick and then you remember madi"

she trails off as chris waves his hand

"Hi you all"

she says with a raised eyebrow smiling

"jess; mom"

she exlcaims hugging her after jess

"hey madi"

"when did you get here" 

madi asks her

"last night when jess called"

Madi looks over at jess standing next to her as she shrugs her shoulders a little not wanting to talk about last night at all due to the fact she still felt the pit in her stomach of guilt of even allowing herself the like chris and not trust madi enough to even tell her that you liked him.

"so mom do you want to come on in then"

she states as madi and her both step aside to let her in

"how long are you going to be here for"

"just the weekend"

"maybe we can all go somewhere and just hang out for a little bit maybe grab dinner does that sound good guys"

she asks everyone

"im fine with that"

nick agrees nodding his head

"mom"

you question her

"sure plus i want to see all there is about Boston since this is my first time up here"

"well the triplets can definitely help point out those key spots since they've grown up here"

"literally"

chris chuckles out admiring jess' laugh slightly

"cool so do want me to ride with you"

"umm.. im going to ride with jess and her mom is that okay"

"uh yeah of course" 

madi and you grab your shoes and they all head out the door.

"soo"

she trails off looking the mirror at the two girls in the backseat of the car

"what's going on with you and Matt Madi"

"uhh"

" yeah i was going to ask about that i mean i knew you guys made up because i saw him come outside after i left you after you came back home"

"umm i dont know what you guys are talking about"

"are you sure because i remember clearly you being carried down the stairs by him this morning"

"in a skirt too at that madii"

you exclaim dragging out the 'i' in your best friend's name

"oh come on what is that suppose to mean just because we made up doesn't mean we are dating"

"so your telling me he hasnt tried to make a move on you after everything that happened yesterday evening"

she asks as madi kind of stares off into space getting flashbacks to last night of literally her and matt making out in her driveway

"oh my god he totally did didnt he"

"what no jess no" 

"madi"

jess's mom exclaims trying to get an answer out of her

"OKAY maybe we might have made out in the driveway at like 2 in the morning"

"MADISON"

you exclaim at your best friend with your jaw dropped

"what i mean its wasnt like terrible"

she shyly replies.

"that you made out with your bestfriend the best friend you liked for literally ever or that he was actually good at making out"

"OH MY GOODNESS"

madi exclaims embarrassed

" just asking"

"OH MY GOD NO"

"it was definitely the second option"

you giggle out

"shut up Jess"

she exclaims pushing some of her hair behind her ear opening her phone

"just make sure you do and know what your heart wants madi" 

"of course always"

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