#i hit a point early in my life where i decided i never wanted to lie anymore

[valancedbreakfast]

It took reading this post to remember that I've been accused of "playing dumb" multiple times as a working adult and accused constantly as a child of ignoring or forgetting things on purpose. I was called to HR once because a coworker refused to believe that I forgot one part of a complex task, so they assumed I was intentionally sabotaging them.

it's okay if you get confused easily. it's okay if you forget things easily. it's okay if you lose track during conversation easily. it's okay if you have to ask for clarification often. it's okay if you struggle to parse information or sensory unit. you're not "playing dumb" or "doing it on purpose". it's okay to be disabled, some people just refuse to be accommodating.

[shadesoflsk]

YOUR? OUR MARGARET

PAIRING: Leon Kennedy x Single mom!reader

SUMMARY: Life slowed down when Leon first saw those tiny rays of sunlight. But he didn't think he would fall in love with the whole sun. Or: Leon falls in love with a single mother.

WARNINGS: Brief mentions of alcohol, government, leon's traumas, love confessions, Leon is a bit insecure and awkward but he's also a sweetheart and has a soft spot for kids, cheesy and corny type of love, this is just fluff believe me!

WORD COUNT: 4.5k

AUTHOR'S NOTE: If I had a nickel for every time I've written about Leon's transition from vendetta to death island I would have two which it isn't a lot but it's funny it happened twice. If you wish to know what song Leon played this is the one I had in mind. As always, I hope you like it. This is my Valentine's Day fic for today!

MY MASTERLIST

Gruesome scenarios and depressive states of mind have tainted Leon's path in life. However, the grizzled and gloomy agent has had a rather rough patch this last year in which he was left alone to die in his own sorrow—Raccoon City, Spain, China and his already-known addiction took a toll on him.

He doesn't have anyone to blame, nor does he want to. Yeah, he could blame the government for stripping him of his innocence and his genuine wish to help people but he felt like he had failed his nation, not the DSO, not the FBI, just him.

Behind closed doors, in the white house and for everyone else he's Agent Leon Kennedy, Mr. Kennedy, and if someone were to ask the president he'd say he's the most trusted weapon the country has. 

He has grown accustomed. His shield has hardened to the point he's numb to most things he should find disturbing or annoying yet he couldn’t help but wish someone would see him the way he really is. 

A bittersweet feeling grew in Leon’s system. Alcohol no longer brought the same dull sensation that’d put him to sleep even in the loudest and sleazy bar. So, slowly he grew out of his addiction. Not alone, though. Alongside him were a couple of therapists which he reluctantly confided in. Not because he didn’t believe in mental health, but because he thought it wasn’t for him.

Also, his friends made his life a bit better. Spare the man the embarrassment, but friendship does indeed make you see the world more colorfully. It was nice hearing his name slip out of his friends' lips. Leon, Leon! Aww, Leon. 

However, life didn’t prepare him for the moment his name was replaced by a:

Dada.

Therapists had told him he should look for a hobby, something that’d fill those moments where boredom or monotony would push him to fall back into his deadly addictions. And he completely understood, he ought to follow the experts’ advice in order to actually improve.

It was rather easier, he was not a complicated man. 

Even before the Raccoon City incident, he loved exercising. Whether it was lifting weights, cycling, or plain running he’d always be found doing something. The mere thought of just lying in bed was something he’d never engage in, especially not now that he’s getting better. 

So, he combined two things. One he was familiar with and a second one he hasn’t been able to really connect with: nature. 

Near his current apartment, there was a small park in which he goes jogging. Usually, his schedule would only allow him to go there in the early hours of the morning where the only people he’d find were retired grandparents who danced to some Spanish music he couldn’t understand.

Peaceful, he liked it. 

But when he was getting used to his daily morning jogging, a call from work told him they needed him ASAP. So, his little detoxicating activity would be postponed to the afternoon. 

After dealing with the usual stress from work, calls from Hunnigan, and a rather bothersome headache, he got to his apartment and decided to get ready and not skip his so-needed jogging. 

The afternoon sky was painted with a hue of blue mixing with the slightest orange color, the gentle breeze hitting Leon’s face as he jogged around the park. His tempo never missed a beat not even after an hour or so between his physical training and some pauses. Sweat fell from his forehead and onto the ground with each step he took, meaning that he was reaching exhaustion.

At last, he found solace under a tree that cast a shadow, perfect for Leon to catch his breath. Closing his eyes, he let his lungs inhale as much air as they could.

His peaceful moment was broken when a tiny voice called out for him. Or rather, mistaken him for someone else.

“Dada!” A little girl came walking to where he was seated, wobbly steps trying to reach him. 

“Margaret!” You appeared out of nowhere before the toddler could reach and hug the stranger. The giggling and excited kid seemed to have heard “run faster” by the way she didn’t stop at your call.

A hint of confusion washed over Leon as he watched the scene develop with rather curious eyes. A mop of curly hair running away from your grasp. The white dress turned into a slightly brown color, Leon guessed the child must have been playing in the dirt.

And then a glimpse of a faint smile replaced his previous bewilderment as his eyes fell on you. As you tried catching your daughter, he observed her antics and your patience. 

Finally, your hands lifted the little one as her tiny legs kicked in the air, ready to run in the air. 

You fixed Margaret’s dress and messy hair while her bright eyes continued being focused on the man sitting on the grass. Her hands doing the typical “grabby” motion to Leon. Sighing in defeat, you spoke to the man.

“Sorry, don’t know what happened.” You sheepishly said as you offered the man an apology for your daughter’s previous mischievous actions. “She usually doesn’t call random people dada I assure you.”

“She gave me quite the scare.” Leon chuckled as he got up from the grass. “My past actions flashed before my eyes.” 

“As I said, I’m sorry.” You repeated your words while your daughter tried wriggling her way out of your arms. When she saw that her mother’s grip wasn’t budging, she took matters into her own hands.

She started crying.

You weren’t letting your daughter play with a stranger, that much you knew. 

“My name’s Leon, by the way.” Leon said, extending his arm, but he pulled back as soon as he saw that you were too busy handling the tantrum your daughter was having. 

You told Leon your name which easily fell from his lips to confirm he heard you well. “Do you normally come here?” You asked.

“Yes, but just in the mornings.” He responded, watching the little one pouting. “Something came out today so duty called. Cops don’t rest.”

“Wait, Are you a cop?” You seemed to relax at the revelation and he couldn’t help but get a Deja Vu from this little interaction. A friend of his asked him the same question, but at least now he wasn’t surrounded by zombies.

“A cop…” A whisper came out from Leon’s lips, a playful yet gentle smile formed on his face. “Kinda.”

“I’ll assume you’re way more important than that.” You adjusted Margaret in your arms when she finally calmed. Although she kept on staring at Leon, her bright eyes focused on him. “Because if you were indeed a cop or a chief you’d be puffing your chest out.”

“Are they always like that?” He acted surprised.

“Here, in New York? I don’t know… you tell me.”

It’s been a while since he last spoke with someone this freely. Surely he has talked with his friends a lot. But they were people he had previously known and shared the same past as him, a connection to the outside world seemed impossible and even greedy in a way.

Soon, both of you found yourselves unable to stop talking, even Margaret chirped from time to time, making her opinion loud and clear. He got to know a bit about you, and you got to know little fragments of his life. The ones who wouldn’t lead him to share more than necessary, obviously.

Despite the rough exterior, his constant frowning stopped as a soft expression replaced it. Margaret's chubby hands absentmindedly held one of Leon’s fingers as he spoke with you, blabbering and being overjoyed by his presence. 

However, her cheerful mood slowly turned sour as soon as she got hungry. Glassy eyes and sobs warned you that the conversation would come to an end.

“Yup, I gotta go.” You murmured trying not to bring more stress to your already distressed baby. “It was nice talking to you.”

“Likewise.” Leon kept his hands in his pockets, unable to come up with anything else. He wanted to say that perhaps they could repeat this. But then again, he’s been so deprived of normal social interactions that he no longer knows if that would sound creepy. 

“Have a good night.” He decided it would be the wisest thing to do. He watched your soft expression as you took your little girl’s hand and waved goodbye. 

Ever since that little interaction, his schedule changed. His morning routine was long forgotten. An excuse was made, something between the lines that his shift changed so he has to work in the mornings. 

And he was delighted to spend time with both of you. The highlights of his whole day would be getting to hear about you and Margaret. 

Each day that passed meant new memories being made. From the way he got to know Margaret’s favorite ice cream flavor to your childhood dreams. Every detail mattered for him because he could now see how simple life could be.

He took—both of you mostly— on little dates. Let it be to try a new cafeteria near the park, drinking an americano while Margaret drank from her sippy cut which was filled with chocolate milk. 

However, there were times in which Margaret would stay with a friend of yours. Allowing you to be alone with Leon. And while he appreciates the joy and happiness your daughter brought, he also loved the moments in which he could focus just on you. 

Sadly, years of training didn’t prepare him to man up and make the first move. When he thought he would brush away every insecurity and second guesses, something would come up. 

He wanted to grab your hand, the waiter would come at the worst time. He wants to compliment you, he'd almost choke with his own saliva. He wanted to give you a goodbye kiss after driving you home, someone would call him.

It was as if the universe was against him.

Thankfully, you had picked up those hints. And if Leon wasn't the luckiest man out there, you can help him in his predicament.

On a usual afternoon, as Margaret played with the leaves that had fallen from the trees, you shot him a question.

“Would you like to have dinner with me?”

“Huh? Yes, it sounds nice.” Leon absentmindedly replied, thinking it would be like the rest of your dates.

“I mean… In my house. I don't think I've invited you yet.”

In the meantime, Margaret had grabbed some leaves which she placed on Leon's hair. The man didn't even react to it, already used to her antics.

“I wouldn't like to intrude.”

“You wouldn't. See it as a friendly meeting.”

Friendly meeting, of course. He couldn’t be so selfish.

“If you insist.” He says as the little one giggles, her smile just showing two teeth. “When would it be?”

“Are you free this 14th?” 

He nods, he doesn't even remember if he's in fact free. But he'd make time. 

Besides, who works on Valentine’s Day?

     ⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹

He wishes he would've realized about the implications of the day sooner.

The other dates have been nothing but platonic. Of course he had been nervous, biting his nails to the point where had to put on clear nail polish. 

But this one is for Valentine's Day. Day where people confess their love in dramatic ways. Some lucky people even propose on this date. 

Leon has been out of the dating game for years. He believes he'll mess it up somehow, especially as he sees the reflection of himself in the mirror. 

Of course, he knows he's getting better. But his appearance tells everyone otherwise. His hair continues being dark, a big contrast from his past self whose blond hair would be the talk of some people.

The palm of his hand brushes over his stubble cheek. The sensation of those tiny hairs is similar to blades. He looks at his watch, there is no time to shave. The last thing he wanted was to be late on his first date.

He sighs and walks toward the table, on top of it are two bouquets. One has multiple red and pink roses, that one is for you. The other one consists of a single white rose, for Margaret. Even if he has forgotten the basics of dating, he wouldn’t go empty-handed to your home.

The drive to your house isn’t an easy one. Not because he lacked driving skills, he is pretty much proud of how well he could drive when he is not facing life-or-death situations. 

He takes his car, just for today. He knows he has to be himself and show you his love for bikes. But he would be lying if he wasn’t a tad scared about coming to your house driving his usual motorbike. What would you think? Surely you’d dump him for risking his life or something like that.

But he is so damned anxious. He turns on the radio, trying to muffle his thoughts but the first thing that comes up is a Valentine's Day advertisement. ‘Don’t mess up your date today! Try our newest product and—’ He’s trying, he doesn’t know what the ad is talking about but he needs no product for this date to be a success.

He turns off the stupid machine. After all, today’s music sucks. Nothing personal, he just doesn’t like it. He’d prefer if the radio played real music. Some Deftones and Korn would do. 

But right now he’d dance to anything. Valentine’s Day, after all, should be a romantic getaway from the normalcy of life. Even though years had made him a corny individual, if it’s with you, romanticism should never die.

He’s rambling, his head is a mess. He sees himself slow dancing with you, Somethin’ Stupid playing in the background. He foresees a future in which he could paint next to your daughter, suns and trees never looked so pretty as he imagines that scenario. 

Dating you would come with the whole pack, he knows well. But even at his age, he still feels like a broken child whenever he sees himself in the mirror. Memories of his innocence being stripped away of him and his present still clinging on to the faint threads of hope. 

So that’s why he made the promise of taking this relationship seriously. No matter if you end up being nothing more than friends. People often say that you just know when you meet the one. And he saw the beacons of lights announcing the whole sun when he met you and your little one.

Eventually, he reaches your home. Double-checking the address you had previously sent him over text, he confirms this is the place you live in. A modest house, enough for you and Margaret. 

He switches off the engine and takes out the key from the ignition. Placing his hands one last time on the steering wheel, he takes a deep breath, mentally preparing himself. And with a newfound conviction, he grabs the two bouquets and gets out of the car.

When he walks towards the door, he immediately knocks. If he dared to wait just a second just to calm his anxiety, he’d spend at least 5 minutes staring at the wooden material. So, he sacrifices that priceless time in order to face reality.

A ‘coming’ is heard by Leon a few seconds after he knocks. Eventually, the front door opens and you welcome him with Margaret in your arms. “Hey.” You greet him, Margaret doing the same as she waves her hand.

“Hey, you two.” Leon says with a warm smile, trying to hold back the fact that there hasn’t been a better image than this. “I couldn’t come empty-handed to your house so I took the liberty to bring you these.”

Leon then hands you the bouquets he had brought—the bigger one for you, and the smaller one with a single rose for Margaret. 

“Are these for me?” A dumb question, of course. But there’s no harm to ask and surely it would get a nice reply from Leon who has been dancing around the idea of flirting with you. Too scared to come off as awkward and silly.

“I don’t see another pretty woman around here.” It slips so smoothly out of his lips. Leon Kennedy, you still got it, he mentally praises himself. 

“Yeah, right.” You roll your eyes, satisfied with the answer you received. “Please, come in.”

Leon nods and enters your house. The living room was nicely organized, and the way some toys blended in with the decoration brought a smile to his face. The perfect balance between the sober expected room with the colorful and childish playthings.

You set Margaret on the floor not before giving her the rose Leon gifted her. She absentmindedly walks toward the couch and sits down to inspect what an amazing thing the funny man brought.

“Well, looks like she likes them.” Leon hums as he watches how Margaret starts happily tearing the flower into tiny pieces. Her antics filling Leon’s heart, he could get used to this feeling.

He wants to.

“Yup, definitely.” And your eyes meet Leon’s, his piercing blue eyes are not cold as he often thinks. They remind you of the beach sea, of the gentle waves and the gentleness they carry. 

And he sees himself in yours. In your eyes, he isn’t a cold and depressed agent who is fighting off the odds. He admires the man he’s becoming. The man who despite everything he has experienced, wants to do better.

“I haven’t told you yet but…” Leon trails off as he gathers the courage to do this simple yet nerve-wracking action. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

He grabs your hand and brings it to his lips. Without breaking eye contact, he kisses your knuckles. A gentleman through and through. If he could win your heart, he’d do anything to protect both of you.

Although he was lying, even if he weren’t to win you over, you have already gained a friend who would literally save the world for you to live in with your most beautiful miracle. 

“You’re sappy.” You shake your head laughing, but you don’t push Leon away. In a way, your teasing comes off as a thank you. 

“And you break my heart.” He chuckles, letting go of your hand which falls to your side.

As it does, your eyes fall on Margaret. While she continues playing with torn pieces of the flower, you see her head swaying slowly from side to side, as if fighting off sleep. 

“It’s nap time for little Margaret.” You break the silence as you walk toward Margaret whose tiny fingers still try to tear up the already destroyed rose. 

You pick up Margaret and with the way she isn't getting fuzzy, your assumption was correct. She is fighting against Morpheus, sadly losing.

You glance at Leon who is standing in the same place you left him. Admiring the scene of you carrying your daughter. 

“Would you like to help me?” You murmur. 

Of course he does, he wants nothing more but to embark on this new life. He has seen so much horror and for once, he wants to indulge in this domestic dream of his.

“If you let me.”

Humble, timid, and definitely not showing how enthusiastic he was about helping you. 

You nod and guide him upstairs. Margaret’s room was just next to yours, even though you prefer to sleep with her, still too nervous about her getting tangled in her own blankets.

As both of you reach the room, shades of pink and white greet Leon. Some toys are scattered around the floor too. Proof of Margaret’s wholesome behavior. 

Margaret shifts in your arms, her previous peaceful demeanor changing given the frustration of not falling asleep yet. She is pretty much easy to handle when nap time comes, but today is one of those days.

“You told me I could help.” Leon's hushed voice reaches you. His eyes express the need to assist you in a task like this. 

“Sure…” Your heart flutters as Leon steps up to help you. You indeed asked him if he wanted to come with you. But the fact he had so eagerly accepted the role made you appreciate him even more.

If that was even possible.

As Margaret starts letting out soft cries, you hand her to Leon who is quick to catch her. At first, Margaret is held rather awkwardly which brings a smile to your face before her cries get really serious.

You help Leon by moving his hand. That gains a quiet ‘ok ok’ meaning that he got the hang of it. 

He positions Margaret on his chest, her face seeking the crook of his neck as she continues letting out tiny sobs. With his hand supporting his back, he rocks her.

If anyone were to see him, they'd think he's a father holding his daughter. But in his mind, he's holding your world, his world. 

Oblivious to it, Leon started humming a song. He doesn’t know where he had heard it before. Maybe it came from his mother, a memory he thought was deeply buried in his mind.

Eventually, your baby falls asleep which definitely boosts Leon’s mood as she grins. He's built for this! He thinks.

He lays Margaret in her crib. The little one breathes slowly as she drifts off to dreamland.

Both of you slowly and quietly walk out of the room making sure not to make any loud noise and wake the sleeping princess. 

As you slowly descend from the stairs and are once again in the living room, Leon’s mind is filled with expectations.

What's next?

What is he supposed to do now? 

As if on cue, your words break the silence.

“I forgot to order the food.” You sheepishly admit as you nervously laugh. Between cleaning the house before Leon came and taking care of a toddler the fact that a dinner without food wouldn't be a dinner slipped out of your mind.

“I'll do it right now just give me a second to search for this one restau—”

“Hey, it's okay.” Leon reaches for your arm before you can walk toward where the phone is. He takes this opportunity to do all the things he has wanted to do with you. To accomplish each one of those silly yet endearing wishes of his.

“Besides… this is a great excuse for us to bond more.”

He lets go of your arm but instead, his hand takes out his cellphone. Your eyes curiously watch as he types something.

For a moment, Leon doesn't utter a word and you can see how his fingers are slightly shaking.

Leon looks up from the phone and gives you a gentle smile before he sets the phone aside. After a couple of seconds, the slow and wistful chords of a piano announce the beginning of a song.

“May I have this dance?” Leon extends his hand toward you. 

You opt to accept his hand. In the back of your mind, you wanted to tease him one more time. Just like you did when he told you happy Valentine’s. But you feel this is way more important than those simple words.

As your hand locks with his, he pulls you closer to his body. His free arm finds its home in your lower back, not too low to keep it PG and not to discomfort you in this intimate dance.

Letting him guide you, you sway from side to side. His past self wouldn't have imagined that he could reach this level of serenity and tranquility. The simple thought of having a family was like a faraway dream.

Your head rests comfortably on Leon's shoulder, the scent of his cologne being your new favorite aroma. The one that brings you memories from the time you met him to all the dates you had that led to this very moment.

The song continues its course, and the outside world is forgotten for a moment. No words are exchanged as both of you drown in the homely feeling of dancing in each other's arms.

After a while, without lifting his head and allowing his lips to ever so slightly graze against your ears, Leon's voice cut through the peaceful melody.

“Let me in.” He whispers, his hands ever so slightly tightening around your middle section. His words brush against your ear like the soft melody that plays in the background. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Let me in, in your life. I don’t want to ask you to just be your partner.” The weight and truth of his statement turn your head in a messy place. “I want to be part of your life and Margaret’s.”

He wants to stick around, he wants to be greeted by you and Margaret each time he comes back from a mission. He wants to give Margaret the childhood he never had. And, he wants to fulfill every little dream you and he may have. 

“I want to wake up next to you each morning. To Margaret telling us she's hungry in her own way.” He's always been a man of few words, but in this moment he could recite the whole bible if he wanted. 

“I want to put Margaret to sleep every day just like I did today. And I want to sleep next to you every night, knowing that you're safe.”

“I don't want you to be a memory.” His lips move to the side of your face, daring to kiss your cheeks in a sweet manner. “I want you to be my whole life.”

Smoothly and with ease, his words fall from his lips while his tempo never falters. His thumb now softly rubs your skin, where his hand is located to support your back in the dance.

He'd want to take pride and tell you he's that good with words. However, many times he has rehearsed this speech that if he had stumbled on his words he'd have let the earth swallow him.

And as the song came to an end, so did Leon’s confession. 

A few seconds of silence create the worst nightmare in Leon's imagination. He could already hear your words telling him you don't feel the same that you're already in love with someone else or—

Your knuckles caress Leon’s face, feeling the growing stubble on his cheek and jaw. The sensation of being touched like this has been a long-distance memory that he's completely forgotten what being loved felt like.

He now feels both of your hands cupping his face, prompting him to look you in the eyes. His blue eyes lock with yours and admire the softest of expressions drawn on your face.

As he gazes into you, he can only think how in love he is. And what a good life awaits for him.

And what feels like both an eternity and a split second, your lips connect with his in a tender yet meaningful kiss. One that he's been expecting after all this time.

The one is indeed not a myth.

AUTHOR'S NOTE 2: I had so much fun writing this. There's something about found family that makes me all soft and sappy lmao. And sorry if my despiction about cops is wrong... I've never set foot in the US so spare your writer the embarrassment. Anyway, I hope you all have a beautiful day! No matter if you spend it with your lover, friends or alone. (Dividers are from: @/cafekitsune)

💬 SHADESOFLSK: Comments, reblogs and likes are very much appreciated.

[writeaboutit]

Donation Boot

How firefighter Abby and Reader met

Hello hello it’s been a bit so sorry but I had this idea for a series of sorts following firefighter Abby x Reader through life. I have ideas for a couple more stories but if you have any suggestions leave them in my inbox for sure 🤍

Word Count: 1.1k

Warnings: none just fluff

Part 2: Damn the Chief

Part 3: Silly Abby Candy's for Kids

You heard her key jingle in the lock from the kitchen. The metal on metal scratching noise was like music to your ears despite it being like nails on a chalkboard to others.

That noise meant your wife was finally home. All day you had been waiting for her to come home, missing her warm cuddles. She left for the station before you had even woken up.

Usually you stirred awake for the briefest of moments in those early hours when you heard the shower start, you made it a point to stay awake just long enough to say an I love you as you sent her off to do her work. You never knew when it might be your last so you didn’t chance it.

But last night the melatonin must have hit you extra hard because you didn’t even register Abby’s movements when she leaned down and pressed a warm kiss to your brow bone before clunking out of the room in her steel toed boots.

You regretted not waking up; no more melatonin for you.

The front door creaked open and you heard your dog’s collar jingle as she ran to greet your wife.

Abby must have been following the dogs lead to your presence in the kitchen because you heard her mutter, “Come on, where’s your momma?”

Your heart was instantly a mushy puddle on the tile floor following the comment. Just as you finished drying your hands the love of your life rounded the corner.

She was wearing her normal uniform. Not the big, bulky, fireproof suit but the fitted jeans and the navy blue t-shirt with the station’s logo over her breast.

You were such a sucker for a woman in uniform, it’s how she caught your attention in the first place. But what kept you around was that blinding smile she had plastered across her face that first day.

You and your friends decided to visit your local farmers market during second year of college. It was a fluke really, you weren’t even planning to go with them but after days of them whining that you could spare a couple of hours away from the text books and come have fun you agreed.

The local fire station had a booth set up collecting donations and the truck open for kids to climb in and take pictures.

One of your friends thought a fire fighter was hot and insisted on getting a picture with him by the truck (her very obvious way of flirting). You couldn’t blame her though because you had your eye on one of the younger trainees.

She was working the booth, tracking donation levels and you knew you would hate yourself for the rest of your life if you ignored your gut.

So, despite you being 19 and a broke college student you approached. They were collecting cash donations in one of the big fire suit boots.

You slipped the only cash you had on you into the dark depths of the boot, ten dollars, and were planning to make your way back to your friends, chickening out of talking to her, when all of the sudden you heard, “Hey, wait!”

You turned around and there she was. She had gotten up from her perch and made her way around the table. It was a bit jarring at first. She was tall, muscular, that tight ponytail made her look very sever, and here she was leaning over you with an expectant look.

“Yes?” you asked hesitantly.

“Don’t you want your coupons?” she asked suddenly realizing that she was close and backing up a step.

“Sorry?”

The confusion must have been written on your face because she immediately explained in a sort of rambily but very cute way, “When you donate you get a coupon to the local grocery store… and some other stores but honestly there all the old lady stores in the mall. The grocery ones the only one worth it.”

You just smiled softly at her over explanation. You expected her to be this over confident, maybe slightly douchy character from the way she approached before but really you could see her nerves peaking through now.

It only made you more attracted to her in all honesty.

“Oh right, yeah thanks.” you took the coupon sheet from her and after a moment of tense silence between the pair of you, you both went your separate ways.

It wasn’t until later that night when you went to cut out the grocery coupon and throw out the rest that you realized she had messily scribbled her name and number onto the think colorful price of paper.

You squealed, your roommate asked what was wrong and then you both quickly plotted on what you should text her.

It was simple really just a quick hey this is so n’ so, how are you?

Your phone only sat face down for a total of three minutes before you heard the chime of her reply and the rest is history.

Now seven years later your wife, the nervous fire fighter with the tight ponytail, was coming home to you. You would share a meal, a shower, a bed. It was the life you always wanted and all because you went to a farmers market on a random Sunday seven years ago.

That blinding smile that caught your attention all those years ago was plastered across her face now in the small kitchen of your small house.

Her setting her bag down on the island brings you out of your memory.

“Hey honey,” you greet, making your way to her.

“Hi baby, what were you thinking about just now?” she wraps her arms loosely around your waist.

“Hmm nothing much just your pretty smile,” she rolls her eyes, never one to take a compliment, “Speaking of which, that smile usually means you’re plotting something. What is it?”

She looks down at you and smiles, “You know me too well. I was plotting on what we are going to do over the next three days that I have off of work.”

That gets you excited. It’s not often that she gets time off of work. Sometimes you don’t even see her for days at a time when she has to sleep at the station. Three days off in a row is practically unheard of.

“Really?”

“Swear,” she kisses your forehead.

“Eek, so what were you planning?”

She chuckles and belts her arms just under your thighs, lifting you into the air, “Oh I think you know exactly what i have planned.”

Her voice turned seductive and husky. You squealed as you became level with her face. You both laughed into a soft kiss, one that was definitely going to lead to a forgotten dinner on the stove and a closed bedroom door.

[shockercoco]

Whatever It Takes

Benny Cross x reader

warnings - 18+, smut, p in v, overstimulation, squirting, some swearing, dirty talk, breeding

word count - 2851

a/n - request : "Hi! Please can you write a Benny x reader smut where he's got a breeding kink and he just wants to knock her up?" - the fact that I haven't written for austin in over a month is crazy, also thank you guys for the support on all of my works! but anyways thank you for reading and i hope you enjoy :)

One day while Benny was working at the garage with his cousin, he was fixing a car that had been brought in by a single mother of three. He could see how exhausted the mother was and the hard time she was having controlling her two kids that were running around, while the third one was being balanced on her hip.

When he had mentioned to the woman that her husband should be doing something like this, the woman said, “He’s out of the picture, unfortunately. Otherwise, I would be having him do this.”

Benny just nodded in acknowledgment and said nothing more as he continued to work on the woman’s car.

After sending the woman on her way, he couldn’t help but think about his own father and how he was also nonexistent in his childhood – in his life period. He began thinking about how he would never put his kids through what he experienced, that is if he were to have children of his own.

Having kids was a topic that had come up a couple of times between the two of you, but the conversation never really ended up going anywhere. Because of Benny’s background, he was always hesitant and had his doubts on his ability to be a good father.

But, this incident has him thinking, and he may or may not want to change his mind.

Later that night, as the two of you were laying in bed – Benny on his back with his hands behind his head and you with your head on his chest – Benny decided he needed to say what was on his mind.

“Do you really want to have kids?” Benny asks, looking down at you as you lay on his chest.

You lift your head up and give him a confused look. “Why do you ask?”

“I’ve just been thinking about it lately,” Benny shrugs. “Do you?”

“You know I would love to have a family, Benny, but I don’t want to force anything on you,” you tell him.

“You’re not forcing anything on me. It’s just…”

“Just what?”

“...Today I had to fix this single mother’s car, and I just felt like shit that she was taking care of her kids by herself,” Benny admits.

“And this made you think about having a kid of your own?” you ask, flipping yourself over to lie on your stomach, making it easier to look at him.

“Well…yeah.”

“Benny, are you sure you’re not just saying this because you somehow want to prove a point to yourself? You know, given the way you grew up and everything.”

“I’m serious about this, baby,” he looks down at you.

You raise an eyebrow up at him. “And you’re sure this isn’t just some excuse to have sex with me?”

Benny cracks a smile and lets out a laugh, making your body move on top of his. “I mean, it’s definitely a plus,” he smirks, causing you to hit him in his chest, “but, no, I want to try. If it happens, it happens, and if it doesn’t, it doesn’t.”

“Like actually?” you ask.

“Yes, actually,” Benny confirms.

“You got yourself a deal, Benny Cross,” you smile at him, and lean up to press your lips onto his.

Benny moves one of his hands from behind his head and places it on the back of your neck, deepening the kiss. When you go to pull back, you're met with resistance, making Benny breathe out a laugh against your lips at your attempt to get away.

“Why don’t we go ahead and get a head start on the process?” Benny murmurs against your lips.

“Benny, it’s almost midnight, and we have to get up early in the morning,” you sigh as you go to pull away again.

“Don’t worry, I can be quick,” he promises, causing you to roll your eyes.

“That’s what you always say,” you point out as you go to lay on your back next to Benny. He just follows you and turns over to allow his body to hover over yours.

“I know, but this time it’ll be true,” Benny whispers against the skin of your neck, placing a few scattered kisses on the area. 

“Benny…,” you begin to say, but trail off as you feel him make his way behind your ear, your weakness. You bite back a moan and place your hands against his chest, but make no move to actually push him away.

“Come on, darlin’,” you hear Benny say into your ear, his breath warm against your skin. Benny moves one of his hands further south until it reaches your panties, cupping you in his palm. A gasp involuntarily escapes your lips, your hands tightening on his shirt. You can feel warmth pooling in your core.

You knew it was a bad idea to go without your pajama shorts tonight.

“Y’know you want to,” says Benny as he begins to move his hand back up, letting it lay on your stomach. You feel his fingers spread out, allowing him to cover more of your skin. “I can’t wait to see you carrying my child, baby. C’mon, let me make it happen.”

Your head leans to the side – to give him more access, but to also take a look at the clock on your nightstand. Staying up a little later wouldn’t hurt, right?

Fuck it.

“Okay,” you give in.

You feel Benny smirk against your neck, before he lifts his head to look you in the eye.

“That’s my girl,” he praises as his hand moves back down towards your underwear, holding eye contact with you the whole time. “You made the right choice.”

His fingers slip under the waistband before landing on your already drenched folds. He runs a finger up and down your folds before landing on your clit, spreading your wetness and causing a soft moan to leave your lips. You feel his finger press down on your bud as he begins to draw tight circles into you, making your head fall deeper into the pillow and your legs open wider.

“Gotta get you ready for me, baby,” Benny tells you. 

When you feel Benny suddenly insert a finger inside of you, your eyes closing, and your mouth falls open in surprise at the intrusion. Benny moves his head back down and begins to press kisses along your jawline as he plunges his finger in and out of you.

It’s not long before he adds another finger inside of you, slowly moving his fingers in tandem inside of you. The longer he continues, the louder the noise he’s forcing out of your wet pussy becomes, the sound turning you on even more. He suddenly pulls his fingers out of you, just to spread more of your arousal, using his thumb to go back to your clit.

He begins to stimulate the sensitive bud as he slips his fingers back inside. You can’t help the pathetic noise that leaves you as you arch your body into his.

Getting annoyed with his slow pace, you reach a hand down to grab his wrist and begin moving your hips along with the thrust of his fingers, making Benny chuckle against your skin.

Leaning back to look at your face once more, Benny asks, “Needy, huh, baby?”

A small whimper is all you’re able to manage out, your senses slowly becoming drowned in pleasure. His fingers, the way you can feel how hard he is with his body pressed against you, his raspy voice – it’s almost enough to make you cum on the spot.

Suddenly, you feel his fingers stop inside of you, causing your eyes to fly open and connect with his. 

“Benny,” you whine.

“I asked you a question,” he gently tells you, but his expression is stern.

“That wasn’t really a question, though, was it?” you give him a look, still irritated at the fact that he ruined your impending orgasm.

Benny’s eyebrows raise in surprise at your sudden boldness. “Watch your tone darlin’, I’m the one in charge of your pleasure,” he reminds you, using his thumb to quickly add pressure to your clit.

You let out a whimper, your eyes closing momentarily before looking back at him. “You want this just as much as I do,” you glare up at him.

Benny’s lips curl into a smirk, staying silent for a moment, before speaking. “Ya’ know, you’re kinda hot when you talk back. You’re lucky you’re right, otherwise I’d just stop this altogether. Before I continue, though, I’m gonna need you to answer my question.”

You contemplate not giving into him just for the hell of it, but you quickly decide against it. “Yes.”

“Yes…what?” he teases, giving you a look as he waits for you to continue.

“Come on, Benny, this is stupid,” you pout, and he just shakes his head. You let out a sigh and look away from him in embarrassment as you quietly say, “Yes, I’m needy.”

His smirk only grows as he watches you struggle. “See that wasn’t so hard was it?”

“Fuck you,” you murmur, still avoiding his eyes.

“Oh, baby, I will,” he assures you, sliding his fingers out of you in the process.

Your mouth slightly parts as you watch Benny take one of the two soaked fingers into his mouth, sucking and releasing it with a popping noise – all the while keeping his eyes locked on yours. You feel another wave of arousal travel to your core at the sight.

Then he hovers the untouched finger over your lips, telling you, “Go ahead.”

You glance down at his finger before looking back up at him and taking it inside your mouth.

Benny lets out a groan. “Good girl.”

Once you release his finger, Benny sits up to peel his tank top off, his sweatpants and underwear following soon after. You take the time to rid yourself of your clothes, although all you were wearing were panties and one of Benny’s shirts with no bra underneath. Your body runs hot as you catch sight of the damp spot that has formed in your panties.

Benny goes to align himself with your entrance, but just when you think he’s about to push in, he decides to run the head of his cock up and down your sticky folds, bumping into your clit on his way up each time and forcing your walls to clench around nothing.

“My god, baby,” he says lowly, mainly to himself, as he watches his hard length run across you. There’s already precum leaking out his slit, mixing with your fluids.

“Benny, please,” you beg, your voice becoming even more whiny the more desperate you become.

“Yeah, baby?” he questions, his tone condescending as he leans down to hover over you again. He places his arms on either side of your head, caging you in as he rests on his elbows. “You want me to put a baby in you?”

You buck your hips up into him and pathetically nod. “Yes.”

“Yeah?” he fake pouts, his hips still moving.

He loves to tease you and make you wait as long as possible – he’d probably edge you all night if he really wanted to.

“Yes-,” you cry out, and before you could say anything else, your sentence is cut off by Benny pushing into you – all the way to the hilt.

You throw your head back while your jaw drops as you let out a silent cry. Benny’s head drops as your tight, warm walls enclose around him.  A deep growl leaves his throat, his eyes shutting in the process.

“Fuck,” he whispers.

It doesn’t take him long to set his pace, hitting that special spot with each stroke. Your previous orgasm that had gotten interrupted quickly builds back up and makes its way out of your body. Your eyes roll back as you let out a sob. Benny bites the skin of your shoulder as he feels your walls get even tighter, trapping him in. He has to take a second to slow down and regain his composure, before resuming.

One of your hands finds a place in his hair, while the other wraps around him, wanting to keep him as close as possible. Benny pulls a leg over his hip, allowing him to hit you at a different angle. The way your face contorted in pleasure just eggs him on more. You can hear the sound of your wetness every time his hips collide with yours, your arousal seeping out of your abused hole.

“Oh my god!” you mewl out, your eyes closing.

“Feels good doesn’t it, sweetheart?” he asks. All you can do is nod, tears beginning to form under your closed eyelids. Benny lets out a smug laugh as he adds, “I mean your legs are shaking, so it must be.”

You’re too far gone to care about his comments anymore. The hand you have in his hair tugs at the strands, causing Benny to curse.

“You’re really eager for me to make you a momma, aren’t ya?” Benny mocks, his attention still on your face. “Don’t worry, baby, I could do this all day.”

Benny moves his head down to put one of your nipples into his mouth, “It won’t be long until these are nice and full. God, you’re gonna look so good carrying my child, I already know it,” he tells you, 

His words cause your walls to involuntarily throb around him. You arch your chest up into his mouth as you keep his head in place, the feeling of his tongue swirling around the pebbles goes straight to your core. He switches his attention to your other breast, his tempo never faltering, as he wraps an arm under your body to pin you closer against him. He hums with your nipple still in his mouth, the deep vibration radiating through your body.

When he feels your walls start to flutter around him again, he pulls his mouth away from your chest to look at you. “Ready to cum again, baby?”

“Yes,” you whimper out with your eyes still closed. 

Benny glances down to where the two of you are connected, noticing the white ring that has appeared at the base of his cock. Benny bites his lip at the sight, but quickly looks back up at your face, not wanting to cum just yet.

“None of that, baby. Open your eyes for me,” you hear him say, and you do, but with your body feeling so heavy you practically have to force your eyes open. “There we go, y’know I like to see those eyes. Go ahead and let go for me.”

He reaches a hand between your bodies, his fingers going straight to your clit. You can’t tell whether or not your body wants to pull away as you dig your nails in the skin of his back. You can feel the slick from you

“Benny, it’s too much,” you breathe out, your head feeling empty.

“No, it’s not. I know you can take it,” he smirks down at you, his hand adding even more pressure to your overstimulated clit.

“Fuck,” you pant.

“C’mon darlin’, give it to me,” Benny murmurs as he continues to do whatever he can to drag you over the edge.

You feel your orgasm building up quickly, your body beginning to tremble underneath him. Your jaw goes slack, but all that comes out are punched out little noises, a result of Benny going even deeper with his thrust. The tears that were stuck behind your eyes begin to come out and stream down the sides of your face.

“Benny, no, i-it’s too much,” you babble, your hands moving to push against his chest.

Benny doesn’t stop though, you and him both know that it’s the last thing you want him to do. “It’s okay, let it out. I’m right there with you,” he groans.

A few more forceful thrusts, and your orgasm is squirting out of you, almost pushing Benny out in the process. You dig your head into the pillow underneath you as your toes curl and your eyes move towards the back of your skull, your jaw slack as you cry out in ecstasy.

Benny goes to let out a small laugh, but is interrupted when a moan is pulled from his throat as his own creamy, white load shoots out of him. He drops his head into your neck as he continues to ride out both of your highs and to push his semen in as far as it will go.

“Damn,” Benny hisses.

Each thrust causes more and more of your clear liquid to gush out around his length.

When he finally comes to a stop, he doesn’t pull out as catches his breath.

“Gotta make sure it takes,” he rasps into your ear.

“It usually takes multiple tries to get pregnant,” you joke, but Benny takes it as a challenge.

He turns his head and pulls back just enough to look you in the eyes. “Don’t you worry darling, I’m willing to do whatever it takes.”

Oh. 

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[nights-legacy]

Hii, i just read one of your oneshots in which Aizawa and hi sidekick are kidnaped by Shigaraki. So i wanted to request a platonic Aizawa onesjot in which he and his daughter are kidnaped by a enemy of Aizawa with the porpouse of making him suffer by torturing his daughter.

Thankss

I don't think the kidnapped sidekick was my one shot but I decided to write your request anyway. Hope you enjoy it!

He's Projecting - Aizawa x Daughter! Reader

2230 words Warnings: Blood, mentions of torture + Being a hero, Aizawa has a lot of enemies. Unfortunately, sometimes it hits to close to home. Especially this time when a vengeful villain kidnaps Aizawa and his daughter with the intent to make Aizawa suffer for his actions.

3rd POV

Aizawa groaned as he woke up. His neck was killing him from where his head as hanging backwards where he sat. He slowly lifted his head and went to reach up to rub it but his hand was tied down. He immediately became alert and looked down at himself. He found he was tied to a chair. Tugging against the bonds, he couldn’t break free. His next move was to access his surroundings. He looked up and looked around. It was a windowless room that was surprising well lit.

“What the hell is going on? What happened?” He muttered. The last thing he remembered was having dinner with his daughter at her favorite restaurant to celebrate her recent achievement in big project for school. He remembers them were walking home when his memory goes black.

“Looks like someone is finally awake.” A familiar scratchy voice say through speakers he finally notices in the room.

“Dagger?” He muttered. The door to the room to his left slammed open. He looked and saw the man himself. Dagger was an enemy he made early into his hero career. He had a quirk where he could create metal dagger from his own body. Similar to that of his student Momo’s quirk to create anything she wanted from her own body.

“Eraserhead.” He growled. Dagger stood with his arm out, extending past the door out of Aizawa’s sight as if he was holding something. Dagger smirked evilly.

“What do you want Dagger? Where is my daughter?!” Aizawa snapped.

“Oh, she’s right here.” Dagger yanked on whatever he was holding. Y/N stumbled into view where Dagger held her by her hair. Her hands were tied behind her back and there was a gag in her mouth. Aizawa struggled against his bonds furiously.

“Get your hands off her!” Aizawa yelled. Panic was rising in him. “So help me…”

“Oh, Eraserhead. You are in no position to be making demands.” Dagger pushed Y/N into the room while a sleek dagger formed into his hand.

Y/N’s POV

I stumbled forward and was able to catch my self before falling. I looked over my shoulder at Dagger before looking at my dad. I could see anger and panic in his eyes. I felt the same panic as well as terror. I was no hero in training like my father’s students. Sure, he taught me plenty of self-defense but right now, it was useless.

“Dagger! If you hurt one hair on her head…”

“You’ll what?!” Dagger pointed his dagger at my dad. “You are useless right now. And even if you use your quirk on me, I already have my weapon and your quirk can’t stop me from using it.”

“Why are you doing this?” Dad asked frantically as Dagger came closer to me with the dagger. I backed away from him.

“You took everything from me. I was just trying make a better life for my family and I. I wasn’t doing anything extremely bad. A few armed robberies here and there. Maybe a few stabbings when things got messy but I never murderer someone. I never deserved what you did to me. I lost my family. My wife.. my child…” He growled. I hit the wall and Dagger swung the knife. The gag fell from my mouth where he cut it off.

“Y/N!” Dad gasped.

“I’m okay.” I said quickly with a shaky voice.

“You made me suffer…so I am going to make you understand what I went through. Expect, I am going to make you watch.”

“She has nothing to do with this!”

“Maybe, but my family suffered because of you so it is only fair yours does too.” Dagger charged at me. I dodged in a panic and ended up on the floor in front of my dad. I tried to get back up as my dad yells in warning. I was pinned to the ground roughly before being flipped over. Dagger was kneeling over me with a wild look in his eyes.

“Dagger! Don’t you fucking dare!” Dad half commands and half begs. Dagger just laughs.

“Here we go.” He says sinisterly before bringing his dagger down at me.

3rd POV

Y/N screamed as Dagger slashed and carved into her skin. Aizawa could only watch and listen in horror as Dagger tortured his daughter and himself in tow. Eventually Dagger left the room, leaving Y/N bleeding out on the floor. Aizawa carefully watched her to make sure she was still breathing. The subtle rise and fall of her chest gave him some comfort.

“Y/N? Please answer me sweetheart.” He spoke softly. Her head turned towards him slowly.

“Daddy…” She whimpered. Tears were streaming down her face, mixing with some blood. Aizawa flinched at the sight, his own tears building up in his eyes.

“I am sorry sweetheart. I can’t believe I let this happen.” Aizawa said softly.

“It’s not your fault.” She says. He couldn’t believe she would say this. She had always been so understanding and kindhearted. Even in a situation where her life was threatened by direct consequence of his past, she was not placing blame on him.

“But it is, sweetheart. Dagger is hurting you because of me.”

“He is projecting, dad.” She said before flinching as she tried to sit up. After achieving that goal, she looks at him. “You put him in jail and then his wife and kid get killed in a freak accident. In his grief he correlated your putting him in jail, taking him away from them was the direct cause of them being in the accident.”

“How did you…” He was surprised that she knew so much about Dagger.

“Midoriya gave me a whole lesson on my father’s Hero history one day while I was visiting.” She said and they both give a small chuckle. They go quiet. “I just connect the dots about his correlation during his little rant before he, um, you know.”

“How did you get to be so smart?” Aizawa gave a watery smile.

“Touching.” Dagger’s voice echoed through the room.  “Father and daughter having a moment. Disgusting.”

“You’ve made your point Dagger. Now let me go so I can give you the fight you deserve.” Aizawa exclaimed.

“Oh what would be the fun in that?” Dagger came back into the room. He quickly made a dagger before throwing in across the room. Y/N was able to dodge most of them but not all. Y/N screamed as the blade lodged into her thigh.

“No!” Aizawa struggled against his bonds. Blood began to pool slowly on the floor. Dagger came over and pulled the dagger out causing the wound to bleed faster. Y/N cried out in pain. “Now Eraserhead. What should I do next? Cut off a finger? Oh! Maybe an ear?”

“No!” Y/N screamed.

“Dagger I swear I’ll…”

“You swear you’ll what?! Arrest me? Beat the shit out of me? You’ve done that all before.” Dagger snapped stepping closer to Aizawa. Aizawa gave him a death glare, not knowing what to say in the moment. “You got to think of something new, Eraserhead.”

“How about this?” A new voice cut through the space before Dagger was on the ground twitching from an electroshock. Kaminari stood in the door way with Present Mic and Midnight standing behind him. “I think he is going to be completely shocked when he comes too.”

“Dammit kid. We talked about the puns.” Midnight grumbled and ushered him out of the way. Present Mic and Midoriya rushed into the room with Recovery Girl in tow with Nezu. Recovery Girl and Mic went straight for Y/N while Midoriya and Nezu went to Aizawa’s aid.

“How did you find us?” Aizawa asked.

“Mirio had alerted Present Mic that you two hadn’t returned from your dinner to pick up Eri. After a while more of no word, we began immediately retracing where you went tonight or should I say last night to locate you. Dagger wasn’t the best at covering up his tracks when he took you two.” Nezu explained. Midoriya got the ropes undone. “And a couple of your students refused to be left behind when we came to rescue you.” 

“Thank you.” Aizawa got up and immediately went over to his daughter. She was now unconscious with her head in Kaminari’s lap. He held back tears as he looked her over.

“She’s going to be okay, Shota.” Mic said while placing a hand on his shoulder. Aizawa nods and looks over to where Dagger laid still twitching from the shock. He walked over and lifted him by his collar. Dagger gave a sinister laugh.

“What are you going to do Eraserhead? Beat me to a pulp? Use those fancy hand to hand combat skills on me?” He laughed.

“No.” Aizawa said as he set Dagger down on his feet. “You threatened and hurt my daughter. As much as I would like to pummel you to the ground, I will not sink to your level of petty. But I promise you that you will rot in the deeps darkest cell in the world before this is over.”

“You don’t scare me Eraserhead.” Dagger said. Aizawa shrugged as Mic and Midnight took him away. Aizawa walked over as Recovery Girl healed Y/N. She groaned as she woke up. Aizawa knelt next to his daughter.

Y/N’s POV

“Dad, I want to go home.” I said softly I looked up at him. My whole body ached. The wounds were gone but I knew that I wasn’t completely healed.  He nodded and gently picked me up. He walked out with Kaminari and Midoriya in tow. Once outside, I noticed he was gathering his bearings and the look of realization came across his face.

“What an idiot…” He muttered. I looked at his confused. “We’re only a few blocks from UA.” He said. The sound of Dagger yelling profanities pulled my attention. I saw Midnight and Mic putting him into a police car. My dad ignored him as Nezu caught Dad’s attention.

“I have a car over here to take you two home. “ Nezu said as led my dad to the car. “You are required to take a week off at least. Be home with your daughter while you to BOTH work through this together and get on the road to recovery.”

“Thank you, Nezu.” Dad said as he set me down on my feet. I held onto the car door for support.

“I will send a doctor in the morning to check on the both of you.” Recovery Girl said. Dad nodded and I carefully sat down in the car.

The next morning, the sound of snoring woke me up. As well as being poked in the side. I opened my eyes and saw Eri sprawled out against me. I smiled and flinched as my body began to ache.  I sat up slowly and ran a hand through my hair. I got up and walked out of my room. I walked into the kitchen to go get something to drink. I pulled out a glass and accidentally knocked something off.

“Oh crap.” I muttered. I turned just in time to see a kitchen knife hit the floor. I felt instant panic shot through me. A flash of a knife went across my mind. I screamed and covered my face, dropping the glass. I didn’t hear the glass shattering and uncovered my face. The glass was caught midair and a gentle hand was placed on my back.

“Come on sweetie. I’ll get you a drink. Go sit on the couch.” My dad said softly.

“O-okay.” I nodded. I turned and went to walk out of the kitchen. On the walk to the living room, I noticed I was shaking badly. I wrapped my arms around myself to try and calm myself down. I cuddled into the couch. Dad came in with a cup of juice. He sat next to me.

“Here you go.” He held out the cup. I took it and drank slowly. He wrapped a blanket around me before wrapping an arm around my shoulders. I leant against his side. “It’s not going to be easy sweetheart. There are going to be times where things are going to bring up bad memories.”

“Will it get better?”

“In time but I will be here every step of the way. If you ever need help, don’t hesitate to ask.  No matter when or where, you call me when you need me or Mic or Midnight or whoever. Okay?” He looked down at me.

“Yeah. I will. I promise.” I nodded.

“And I promise nothing like that will ever happen to you again.” He said. A quiet yawn pulled their attention. Eri was sleepily stumbling through the living room. She wordlessly walked over and climbed into my lap, snuggling into my chest. “And I don’t think Eri will let you out of her sight again.”

“You’re right.” I chuckled. I wrapped my arms around her with the blanket while setting my head on dads shoulder and yawning. “I think I am going to go back to sleep now.”

“Okay sweetheart.” He rubbed my shoulder. “I’ll wake you up when the doctor gets here.” He got up and I laid down with Eri. He kissed my head and walked over to the kitchen. I heard soft music start to play. I sighed and fell asleep.  

Tag List: @iris-shihabi @cl0verbby @lilparcheesie @keigos-baby-bird @evilunicorns4minions

[fbfh]

older!logan x reader hcs

wc: 1.6k

genre: age gap, sort of sugar daddy logan

warnings: big (but legal) age gap, logan is early 40s reader is like early 20s, brief odette mention, logan is a killer lawyer, rory kinda traumatized Logan lol, I haven't finished gilmore girls or ayitl yet so don't come for me lol, logan is obsessedddddddd with reader, mildly smutty, mentions of marriage and proposals, your relationship progresses really quickly

summary: you were reading in a coffee shop when a charming gorgeous much older guy decided to strike up a conversation. little do you know that within a very short time that same charming stranger will know your dress size, your shoe size, and your ring size.

song rec: off to the races - lana del rey

a/n: the choke hold older logan has on me..... euthanize me at this point lmao

tags @yesv01 @magcon7280

As with all nsfw works, all characters are aged up to 18+ (like way over 18 in logan’s case lol)

That being said jesus christ let’s dive right into the brain rot

First things first, a little more about Logan

He’s in his early 40’s and aging like a fine goddamn wine

MEGA MEGA dilf vibes

After the whole millions of dollars sunken into a bad investment in his family’s massive media conglomerate mishap, he still faced a lot of pressure to join the family business

But with Rory rejecting his proposal, he felt so fucking down and beaten up by life

He just had two massive blows to his ego back to back

And he needed a win

Then the strangest thing happened 

He just got back from another late night of partying with his friends and switched on the tv so he wouldn’t have to fall asleep with his thoughts, and some random movie was playing

The girl in the movie is at dinner with her boyfriend and thinks he’s going to propose, but he breaks up with her instead

It hits a little too close to home and Logan’s about to switch it off

Then she decides to go to law school to prove herself

He finds himself getting more and more invested in this movie, relating more to Elle with every scene, and by the morning he confronts the idea he’s been shoving away for too long so he doesn’t rock the boat

He talks to his dad and they decide Logan will go to law school, but remain a prominent board member and shareholder of the family company

Mitchum is surprised by how responsible and well thought out Logan’s plan is

He’s forging a path to a very lucrative field - one Mitchum can tell he’s going to be very successful in - while still staying involved enough in the family business 

So Logan goes off to law school, and 20 years later he’s a total shark 

He’s a prestigious, expensive lawyer with a reputation for never losing and a long streak of killing it with really high profile cases

Now the Huntzberger name carries all the weight and power of his father’s media reach, and Logan’s success in the courtroom 

He’s excelling 

And he’s excelling enough to keep his family out of his personal life for a while 

He’s living the bachelor life until he hits 40

That’s when his parents decide it’s really unacceptable that he’s still not married 

So they tell him if he doesn’t get married soon they’ll arrange something

Some french heiress or something 

And Logan finds himself right back where he didn’t want to be

And then, like a gift from god, he sees you

Like I said in my initial drabble, Logan first saw you in a cafe reading some dusty novel no one actually reads like war and peace or crime and punishment or something

He's seen people your age do that before, reading complicated stuffy literature to seem smart and make some pretentious English class commentary that barely makes sense 

So he calls you on it

"War and Peace, huh?"

He’s expecting you to say something fake and pretentious

Some bullshit fake deep pseudo intellectual shit

But you look up at him, only pausing for a moment before you speak

You’re surprised to see such a gorgeous guy in a little cafe like this

Especially one that seems interested in talking to you

And god, the way you talk about it

The way your eyes light up

It takes him by surprise

He's not just interested

He's invested 

You start talking and realize that you've been talking for way longer than you expected to

And he wants more

He wants to know more about you, wants to see you sweet smile and hear your cute little laugh when he says something charming or compliments you

So he takes you out to dinner, his treat 

He guides you out the door and into his Porsche with his hand on your back 

It's a subtle gesture but it makes your stomach flip 

Then he buckles your seat belt for you

If you weren't sold before you sure are by now 

So he takes you to this nice fancy restaurant, wines and dines you, and he is laying on the charm thick

"Oh, come on. A pretty young thing like you must have a boyfriend."

"Really, you have excellent taste.”

You don’t miss the way he’s been eyeing you all night

And he doesn’t miss the way you squeeze your thighs together when he touches your face or plays with your fingers

One thing leads to another and after he pays the bill and leaves a generous tip, you find him ushering you back into his porsche

And yet again he closes your door for you and gets you all buckled in

This time when he drives his hand rests on your knee

He thinks he can handle this

He’s the biggest whore on the east coast /affectionate 

Then you grab his hand and move it up your thigh

There’s no going back now

He’s in just as deep as you are

Before you know it you’re tearing off each other’s clothes

His lips are all over you and motherfucker does he know what he’s doing

He worried for a moment he might have lost his edge

But as he lays you down into his big soft bed, your skin touching his silky sheets for the first time

But definitely not the last

As he finally touches you and feels how wet you are for him

He knows he didn’t peak in college

“Shh, listen,” he says between kisses that make you feel dizzy, “you’re gonna tell me if it’s too much for you, can you do that?”

You nod while he holds your face in his big hands

“You gotta say it,” he chuckles at how sweet you are, how well you respond to him, “use your words, baby…” 

You manage to choke out a desperate yes between kisses that makes his stomach twist

And that is the very beginning to your intense affair with Logan Huntzberger 

He’s desperate to see you again

He sends flowers and a dress and a gorgeous necklace to your apartment

And not the normal amount of flowers

The Logan amount of flowers

So a lot

And you can’t believe your luck finding a hot rich older guy that’s so into you 

You really like this attention

Your daddy issues are SCREAMING

And Logan likes having someone as gorgeous and intelligent and into him as you are

And he wants to do this right

But he’s rapidly approaching the deadline his family set

He doesn’t want to scare you off

GOD that’s the last thing he wants

But he is terrified of proposing and having it end up like it did the last time

Eventually he works up the nerve to talk to you about it 

He’s explaining everything to you while you pay your bills 

But it says they’re already paid

And your credit cards are paid off

And your debt has just disappeared

Even your student loans are gone

And there’s a fat deposit in your checking account 

He paid off all your debt and didn’t tell you

By the time he’s done explaining that you basically either need to get married asap or you can’t see each other anymore he still hasn’t brought it up

And you realize he’s not going to

He didn’t pay your bills to guilt you into anything

He’s not holding it over your head

He’s taking care of you

And all you’ve ever wanted is someone who will take care of you

Logan is surprised when you agree

But he’s even more surprised at how fast you agree

You sit in his lap and end up rambling about how much you love him, how you don’t think you’ll ever find anyone you like as much as him or anyone that treats you as well as he does

To no one’s surprise the conversation ends with him taking you on every surface of your apartment

Hours later you’re cuddling naked on your couch, resting your head on his muscular chest and listening to his heartbeat

“So like… are we engaged now?” you ask looking up at him

He laughs sweetly

“No, not yet. I have to actually propose first.”

You think back to your conversation earlier when you first said you’d want to marry him

“So that didn’t count before?”

His heart breaks at how little you ask for

“No, that didn’t count.” He kisses your head, “I’m going to take you out somewhere nice, give you a proper proposal, with a nice ring.”

You get butterflies thinking about it

You can’t believe how much he does for you

How much he wants to do for you 

You’re quiet for a moment, and he can feel you smiling into his chest

“...Okay.” 

Your voice is so small and bashful, and he can hear you suppressing a flustered giggle

Fuck he can’t get enough of you 

He laughs and pulls you closer, grabbing your chin and makes you look up at him so he can kiss you 

You fall asleep in his arms

And you think that you won’t mind being married so young if it’s Logan you’re marrying

Logan is looking at you with so much love and adoration

And right before he falls asleep 

He thinks that maybe it’s not too late for him to find love after all

[lilac-witch]

Lassitude - Azriel x Reader

masterlist

------------

Summary: Between training regiments, court meetings and missions, Y/n has never been so tired, so Azriel does his best to comfort her during this time. Meaning: "suffering from a lack of energy" Word Count: 481 Warnings: None

------------

Exhaustion was too light a term for what Y/n was feeling.

The past few months had been a whirlwind of training, meetings and missions. The line between work-life blurred with social life, to the point where Y/n felt she was losing her mind.

That day had been no different.

She was out of bed before the sun was up, begrudgingly leaving the warmth and safety of her mate's arms behind for an early morning meeting with the High Lord of Day.

Three hours later, she was dragged into yet another meeting, sitting at Rhysand's right hand in place of Mor, who was busy on the continent.

Following the morning full of meetings, Y/n found herself observing the progress of the female warriors she trained in the Illyrian mountains.

"is it just me or are they doing worse than last week?" her second asked, as they watched lousy strike after lousy strike.

Y/n shook her head, baffled at the step backwards in terms of progress.

After an hour of standing in the snow-capped mountains, she could feel her eyes begin to droop, the lack of sleep catching up to her.

"Go home, you look like you're about to pass out."

Y/n looked to her second. "You sure?"

"Please go, I don't want Azriel hunting me down because I let you hit the ground," she laughed, waving her off.

Y/n smiled through the exhaustion. "I could kiss you right now, but I'm afraid if I take a step I'll crumble. I'll see you tomorrow."

And with that, she winnowed back to the townhouse.

------------

Thank the mother Azriel had arrived moments before her, because the moment she landed in the foyer of the townhouse, Y/n's legs folded beneath her. Before she could hit the ground, Azriel's arms were around her, supporting her body and pulling her upright.

"Are you alright?" Azriel asked, concern swirling around in those beautiful hazel eyes.

Y/n mumbled something incoherent, head resting in the crook of Azriel's neck.

"I didn't quite catch that, love."

She lifted her head, eyes barely open. "I said that I'm exhausted."

Y/n watched as Azriel's face sagged in relief and a smile graced his lips. Lips that moments later, made contact with her forehead.

"Well then, let's get you to bed, mate."

"Why'd you have to say it like that?" she mumbled, curling further into his warmth as he lifted her into his arms, beginning the trek to their bedroom.

"Like what?"

"Like you want to initiate something other than sleep, which I would be fully on board with at any other time."

Azriel laughed heartily as they crossed the threshold of their room. He placed her on the bed with utmost care, brushing a strand of her from her face.

"Another time, love. For now, get some rest. I'll be here when you wake up."

------------

Well, after a long while... I'm back! I really don't recommend getting sick while studying law... not a fun experience :(

But anyway, this was the idea I had where I couldn't decide between Az and Rhys, but your wish was my command, and Azriel was a clear winner:)

I'm going to be releasing another poll shortly, so please feel free to vote on your preference. A gentle reminder that my inbox, Letter Box, is open for requests. And once again, thank you so much for the love and support:)

[bbgnyx]

Cheater

Masterlist | Taglist | Prompt List

@straykidsholicleigh here it is!! finallyy. I'm sorry for the long waitt, I hope you like it because I did add a little twist to it, so it might not be exactly what you asked for. and I literally can't imagine hyunjin like this ahh T-T he's soo sweet actually so this is def not a depiction of him whatsoever

pairing: hyunjin x reader (pairing changed towards the end hehe)

genre: angst with little fluff/comfort at the end

warnings: cheating, hyunjin is rude, angst, reader almost gets hit by car(implied).

for asks view this post

It all began with his forgetfulness of small coffee dates, which then escalated to days without any communication from him. Hyunjin assured you that his busy schedule and late-night practices were the reasons behind it, and you trusted him completely, right?

Today marked your three-year anniversary, and you were eagerly looking forward to spending time with your boyfriend. To surprise him, you decided to show up at his practice with flowers and chocolates. Dressed in a cute outfit, you left the house and made your way to the building, hoping to find him there.

“Hey y/n, what are you doing here?” Han asked as he spotted you. “Just here to find Hyunjin, he is here, right?” you said raising an eyebrow. “No, he isn’t. He told us he’s going home and left early? He’s been leaving early for a few days now, he said you were sick?” Han said confusion showing on his face.

Holding back tears, you thanked Han and hurriedly left the building, feeling a mix of emotions. Why would Hyunjin lie to you? Above all, you wanted to know where he was and what he was doing at that moment. With a glimmer of hope, you imagined him at the supermarket, buying chocolates for you, but deep down, you knew it wasn't the truth.

You rushed to his apartment, gasping for breath as you arrived. As you raised your hand to knock, you hesitated and instead searched through your purse for the key card he had given you .He had given it to you as a symbol of your trust. You should have known it was too good to be true at that point itself

You swiped the card and went inside. At the entrance, a black coat was hung. It was not yours and it was definitely not Hyunjin’s. You went through the coat only to find a red lipstick in it. Uncontrollable tears streamed down your face as you clutched the lipstick in your hand, realizing the painful truth.

As the door swung open, a disheveled Hyunjin stood before you, his hair in disarray and traces of lipstick smudged on his lips. Your heart sank as you locked eyes with him, unable to comprehend the betrayal unfolding before you.

"What are you doing here?" Hyunjin's voice dripped with disdain as he avoided your gaze. The words caught in your throat, choked by tears, as you mustered the strength to confront him. Three years of love and dreams shattered in an instant, leaving you blindsided. "You're not even going to hide the fact that you're cheating on me?" you managed to utter, the pain evident in your voice.

Hyunjin's response was callous, devoid of any remorse. "Well, you found out. Now get the fuck out of my house," he spat, his indifference cutting through you like a knife. Bewildered, you stood there, desperately seeking an explanation. "Wow, I really loved the wrong person. You're not even going to give me the courtesy of an explanation?"

His nonchalant reply stung, as he dismissed your feelings with ease. "I don't have anything to explain. I fell in love, and it wasn't with you," he declared, his words laced with cruelty. "It was my mistake to ever love a clingy bitch like you. I only stayed with you out of pity. You should be grateful." The final blow struck deep, shattering any remnants of hope or love you had left.

Wiping away your tears, you mustered the strength to leave. "Enjoy your new girlfriend, and never contact me again," you declared, storming out of his life, determined to never look back.

The rain poured down, mirroring the turmoil within your heart. Lost in your thoughts, you ran aimlessly, oblivious to your surroundings. Suddenly you felt yourself being pulled harshly. It was Felix. Concern etched in his voice, he asked, “Are you okay? You would have almost been hit by a car because of your carelessness.

"H-Hyunjin cheated on me," you managed to choke out, unable to find the right words. Felix's eyes widened in shock, and he swiftly guided you to a nearby café, wrapping his jacket around you protectively. In that moment, you found solace in his presence, pouring your heart out to him Though not well-acquainted with Felix, he became the friend you needed in that moment, offering a shoulder to cry on.

You finished your rant, looking up into Felix's eyes. It was welcoming and full of love. You had never seen Hyunjin like that. You realised that Hyunjin never really loved you, but now these eyes showed you something different. Real love and passion.

taglist(message me if you wanna join): @straykidsholicleigh @luvyev

[sc0tters]

What’s Best For You | Adam Fantilli

summary: with the draft hanging over Adam’s head and the view of you getting on with another man brings the end of your relationship, but what happens when you two see each other again?

request: yes/no

warnings: none

prompt: “if you leave don’t come back.”

word count: 2.21k

authors note: I wasn’t planning on writing this one but Adam got the hatty yesterday and I figured we should celebrate him. This isn’t like my normal writing as I got the whole idea for the prompt at like 2 in the morning and just went with it. If you want to see more from the 500 celly you can do so here!

The topic of the draft hung over you both like a bad smell that you couldn’t shake.

Each time one of you brought it up the other would change the subject usually muttering on about how “fate would take its course” or “it’s out of our control so let’s not worry.” But tonight Adam seemed like he was on a mission.

You two had left a party early after Adam saw JJ flirting with you. Now the Fantilli boy wasn’t jealous, he knew you would never cross that line with another man because you loved Adam.

But there was something about that image that he couldn’t stop thinking about. From the way the blonde laughed at your jokes or how your eyes lit up when you saw him.

At first Adam thought you were just friends who had a few classes together, yet that was exactly how you met Adam.

And after nights of staying up wondering what he was meant to do about leaving you, it seemed that tonight he finally had his answer “why are you saying this?” You asked pinching the bridge of your nose in frustration.

Adam had tried to explain it to you for the fifth time but you still refused to hear his message “I can’t love you the way some guys here can if I’m on the west coast.” Adam sighed as he was predicted to go second to the Ducks all the way in Anaheim.

Whilst the boy loved you with all of his heart, to the point where you were the only thing his mind thought of when he woke up and when he went to sleep. Adam came to the conclusion that evening, that it wasn’t fair to expect you to do that long distance relationship.

Tears formed in your eyes “that’s meant to be something I decide, not you Adam!” Your voice broke as you finally realised what was going on here.

Adam was about to break up with you.

It felt like a slap in the face, the man you loved more than you ever thought you could love anyone was telling you that the last six months was all for nothing.

As much as he wanted to hug you and kiss those tears away the hockey player knew that he couldn’t, instead he had to watch them roll down your cheeks “I should go y/n.” Adam’s words had your feet dragging your body towards him.

There was no baby, darling, love, princess that fell from his lips. No, now you were simply just y/n the name you had your entire life now felt bland and boring.

You shook your head “tell me you love me.” You mumbled feeling the sadness replaced by this sense of hurt “tell me that this is all just a dream and that when I wake up you’ll be by my side.” As sobs got stuck in your throat you cut yourself off “I can’t lose you Adam.” You cried finally letting go as his silence seemed to serve as the stark reminder of the reality that was hitting you with the same strength as the cold Michigan winter air when you walk outside in the morning.

The boy shook his head “it’s for the best,” he repeated cupping your cheeks with his hands as he titled your head up so that he could kiss your forehead.

A tear from his eyes landed on your hair soaking the soft strands as his hands dropped to his sides “goodbye sweets,” Adam forced the words from his lips digging his nails into his palms as he stared at you for one final time.

Acting like he didn’t have your face memorised, each scar, each spot, each dimple, he could pinpoint them all. But this time he just wanted to see you, even if it had to be with tears streaming down your face.

As you watched Adam turn around and head back to your dorm door, the pain you were feeling morphed into anger. You were angry at how easily he was willing to give up on you two without giving you a proper reason why, how he made you feel like the only girl in the world to only go and pull the plug on it all when you least expected it. What pissed you off the most was that he had all of these opportunities to break up with you and decided that the last party of the school year was the best option “if you leave now, you better not come back.” The warning in your tone came through as Adam stopped in his tracks.

Not a single coherent thought went through his brain as all he wanted to do was turn around and kiss you whilst he told you just how stupid he was. But instead Adam simply shook his head before he walked out of your room leaving you confused, drunk and upset.

That was two months ago and Adam wanted to call you every minute of every day but he didn’t. Every time he did something he only wanted to tell you about it, but he couldn’t.

Not even you were posting things from your families lake house with none other that JJ McCarthy.

Adam knew that your lake houses were at the same lake literally two minutes away from each other because the day you learnt about it you went and told Adam all about it.

A giggle left your lips as JJ placed his hand on your shoulder “I’ve got to get to practice,” he groaned seeing the clock on the dining hall wall.

You nodded sending him a smile “I’ll see you later J,” you waved watching him nod “bye y/n.” JJ sent you a salute before he walked off.

Adam was quick to walk over to you when he realised you were now alone “what was all that about baby?” He asked leaning down to peck your lips.

Again Adam wasn’t jealous, he felt like you could be friends with anyone that your heart could dream of. But the way JJ looked at you was what made his skin crawl “JJ lives down the road from the lake house in the summer!” You explained locking your hand with his as you began walking back the boys table.

“Funny that right?” You added totally unaware of how Adam was.

To him it had to take an idiot to see that JJ liked you, and part of Adam couldn’t even blame JJ for it, you were a total catch that any guy would be lucky to get.

You stared at the picture of Adam and Luca in their suits that the older Fantilli had uploaded to his close friends story “look we don’t have to watch this if you don’t want to.” JJ sighed seeing you frown.

The draft was one thing you always watched with your grandad who now wasn’t here, so as much as you didn’t want to see Adam you weren’t doing this for him “no I’m good.” You forced a smile onto your lips.

JJ decided to not question you further as he let the volume of the tv go louder as you two watched the third pick. The boy suggested that you only started watching then to avoid seeing Adam “the Columbus Blue Jackets are proud to announce from the University of Michigan Adam Fantilli!” Your eyes went wide seeing your ex get up “what about Anaheim?” You croaked feeling yourself grow sick.

Before the boy had the chance to check on you your body pushed off the couch as you ran to the bathroom.

It had been over eight months since you had been into the Yost and the place you grew to love in your freshman year now felt foreign “if you want to leave let me know.” You felt guilty with how good JJ had been to you since the school year started.

The boy had been good to you as he always made sure you were okay. Whether it was being your company at a party or simply just checking in on you, JJ had grown to hold a special place in your heart but that didn’t make you feel any sense of comfort.

Truth was that you longed for Adam, your roommate had to go as far as delete Adam’s number from your phone after you tried calling him drunk one evening.

You sent JJ a nod as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders giving you a comforting squeeze “he isn’t here anyways.” You pointed out assuming that Adam was with his team celebrating the win against the Redwings in Detroit.

But of course the universe had to prove you wrong as the jumbotron picked up your conversation with JJ flashing your faces on the big screen. You let out a laugh pointing at it “you okay Adam?” Julia asked her son seeing the frown on his face.

Adam nodded forcing a smile on his face “she looks happy,” he shrugged trying to ignore the painful feeling that shot through his chest.

The games end came fast as the wolverines shut out Minnesota. You wanted to drag JJ out of there as you heard the rumours that Adam was there but the football star seemed to have other plans as he forced the excuse that Dylan had something for the boy.

You practically hid behind him as you didn’t know what you were going to do if you saw Adam, your brain couldn’t decide if you preferred the idea of hugging him or cursing him for putting you through the pain that he had done so.

But before you could think about it any further JJ dropped a bombshell on you “I’m going to give you guys a moment.” He mumbled moving to the side so you could lock eyes with Adam and Luca who seemed to be having a similar conversation.

Before you knew it Adam was awkwardly stood in front of you “hey,” you mumbled shoving your hands into the Michigan hoodie to hat was undeniably something you stole from Adam all those months ago.

The Fantilli boy just took the moment to stare at you and your feature as he took in how beautiful you looked “hi.” The hockey player smiled fiddling with the watch on his wrist.

It irritated you how Adam didn’t seem to feel the pain you felt, you had concealer caked beneath your eyes to avoid revealing your dark circles from that lack of sleep “how is your boyfriend?” That comment only aggravated you further as you furrowed your eyebrows.

“JJ is just my friend you dickhead.” You spat causing the boy’s eyes to go wide.

He had to say that he was surprised to hear that you were still single as that little part of him selfishly hoped that you were still in love with him “some of us find it harder to move on when we get dumped out of the blue than others.” You knew it was low but you sent the blow anyways as you had seen all of the rumours and all of the TikTok’s about Adam’s new lovers as he was seen as the dream boy of Columbus.

Adam let out a laugh causing you to cross your arms “this isn’t funny Adam.” You grumbled frowning as your now upset look was clearly highlighted.

Just like how he used to Adam cupped your cheeks forcing you to look at him “all those girls try and I can’t seem to shut up about you.” Adam’s confession had your eyebrows raising in surprise.

In all honesty you truly thought that he broke up with you so he could pursue other things when he left, or at least that was how you liked to think about it because it was easier to try to hate him for leaving you.

Your lips formed a pout “really?” It weirdly warmed your heart to hear that news. Adam nodded as he smiled “thought it was for the best ending it but the truth is I’m still crazy about you.” Adam mumbled tucking your hair behind your ear.

If anyone could see how you were feeling on the inside they’d call you pathetic as you were grinning from ear to ear “I’m sorry for leaving you baby.” Adam sighed wrapping his arms around you as he pulled you into a hug.

You let his familiar cologne invade your nostrils as you melted into his arms “I just want you back.” Most people would have been ashamed to be that open with the guy that dumped them, but for you this was simply just what your heart needed to be brought to ease after all of those late nights crying yourself to sleep.

Adams hands went back to your chin tilting your head up to see his face eyes “you never lost me.” With those words he brought his lips down to yours.

As you felt your body grow warm at that familiar feeling of his lips on yours, you both knew that your were right back where you needed to be. With him in your arms and you in his even if it was under the lights of the Yost arena, you were both home.

[jackie-mae]

with your outfit drawings for the mystreet character. im so curious about with vylad having outfits for s2-s6, if you want can you expand upon on that?

I WOULD LOVE TOO >:3c

Long and Short of it is I've always hated how Vylad was there in Mystreet S1, PDH S1 and then he just... dropped off the face of the earth after that. It always irked me a bit when it would show Garroth and Zane having brotherly bonding moments (and trauma) and always having the thought of (Man wasn't there a third brother in all this?) there in the back of my mind.

I'm now going to do some little bullet points of my Vylads role in S2-6 but this is a great time to mention I've never seen past S4 so I'm running on Wiki Lore and the gospel of AO3 and @catzgam3rz; who collaborates (Read: Infodump and Ramble) on a hypothetical rewrite with me so it gets vague and murky for the later seasons.

S1:

Basically the same as canon (as in S1 is kinda just slice of life) but instead of Vylad just travelling around the world he is an off the grid hunter that wanders the wilderness all the time (The freak)

This is based on my very fuzzy memories of MCD Vylad always kinda just being in trees as he watched Lady Aphmau in the early seasons so I just put Mystreet Vylad in trees for fun this time

Has a vaguely similar relationship to his brothers as in MCD. in the sense it's better with Garroth and more strained with Zane

S2:

Goes to LLP with the rest of the main cast (which consists of the 11 big designs I made) because season 2 is not when you should be writing out characters Jessica

He wears little rainboots and unlike Laurance (Who FYI wears cowboy boots a majority of the time) the rest of the cast did not get him into flip flops before he went trudging into the ocean (again a freak)

I like to imagine that if any drama is going on in the story you could always see him floating around on an inner tube off in the distance

S3:

Again back to slice of life so he does a lot of shenanigans with the cast here

This is the season where the shadow knights feature but for the life of me, I cannot remember if Vylad was officially a part of them or not (And his Wikia is not even a paragraph~) But if it turns out he was there'll probably be more shenanigans around that.

He ends up leaving mid-season (Fall ish?) to go on a hunting expedition

S4:

Oh hey look Vylad is back because we don't believe in writing characters off with little rhyme or reason Jessica

Vylads hunting expedition ends up being in the same area as the lodge. and we all know nothing bad happens there!

there's now a little ski village downhill from the lodge which is where Vylad is staying at seasons start. He's good friends with a lot of the people there.

He's a werewolf now... Don't worry about it!

Oh, what's this? Is that relationship building between him and Zane on the horizon? Well, that won't hurt at all, will it?

AY:

A not-alone buddy comforts his not-alone buddy (I do not know much about Aphmau's Year but know it's short so that's all I got)

S5:

As he is a part of the Lodge crew he gets to go to Starlight!

Possibly is involved in a certain shenanigan with his brothers I'll be posting a comic about that in a few days

Get's lost constantly. Figures Starlight being an island means he can't really get lost since he'll hit ocean eventually and refuses to acknowledge how big said island is.

Doesn't float around like in S2 but you can still find him wading on the shore in his boots

being a hyperattentive freak, he get's some bad vibes from the island sooner than most

S6

Gonna be honest, me and Catz have not watched all of When angels fall but are planning to soon so I'll just leave you with the fun fact that all of my season 6 designs are supposed echo my MCD's designs for the characters (Since S6 is when it was decided hey maybe Diaries is really important here now)

TLDR: Vylad was shafted in Mystreet so I'm fix it

[jjkamochoso]

Helloo! I read your written about isao shinomiya and it was amazing!

Can you write another one about him like if he get jealous :) ?

Yes I can, and here it is below!! Thanks for your patience and for your support!! I’m so happy you like my work and I’m always glad to help bring your ideas to life so I appreciate you choosing me for the task!! Much love and I hope you enjoy🥰❤️🫶

Director Jealous- I Mean, General

Fluff

Isao Shinomiya x gn!reader

Warnings: none

A/n: I made up the Platoon Leader character, just fyi :)

You sighed, setting your lunch tray down with a bit more force than intended, the loud clunk of plastic hitting tabletop reverberating through the dining hall. It was another fine day at the Ariake Maritime Base but you were so exhausted that you decided to take your second meal break early. Being Chief of Staff was certainly no joke—you always had meetings to attend, battle plans to write out, training to keep your body in top shape. You loved your job, though, because it made you feel like you were truly making a difference in the Defense Force. It certainly didn’t hurt that rising up the ranks allowed you to spend more time with Director General Shinomiya, who you considered a coworker, and was the man you’d been hopelessly in love with for an embarrassingly long time. You didn’t mind pining from afar since the prospect of approaching him with a topic of anything but anti Kaiju tactics was much too scary. You also weren’t worried that someone else would confess romantic intentions to him before you ever could because his gruff demeanor and no nonsense attitude certainly weren’t causing people to fight for his affections.

Not that people were lining down the block to steal your heart, either.

You sighed again, this time taking some food to your mouth in an attempt to enjoy your meal. The saying is correct that it’s lonely at the top: you’d worked so hard in your career that you had no time for a significant other and you rarely saw your family due to other obligations. Even friends were slim pickings here at headquarters since most people in First Division wouldn’t chance talking to a superior like yourself in such a casual way and the rest of your peers were either gone on business trips or holed away in their own offices nonstop.

“L/n, right? Chief of Staff?”

You turned your head to face the person standing next to you. You recognized the smiling man as a First Division Platoon Leader. You nodded, allowing him to continue.

“Wow, I never see you high rankers out here! Can I sit?”

He motioned to the seat next to you and again, you nodded. He was right that the higher ups weren’t in the dining hall too often. You usually chose to eat in your office, trying to get as much work done as possible at all times. Today was a rarity for you in that you really needed a break. You also really needed a friend, so you let him talk your ear off as you munched away.

“I’m Kiyoshi Kato, Platoon Leader. Of course, you probably already knew that. Anyway, I’ve been working on this idea for a smoother evacuation plan…”

Kiyoshi then delved deep into his well thought out plan. You wanted to be frustrated that you couldn’t escape work in the one place that no one ever gets work done, but you had to admit, his idea was genuinely smart. You saw where improvements could be made, but overall, it was pretty solid.

“I’m impressed, Kato,” you said, giving him a hearty pat on the back, “you made some really good points in that idea of yours. Why don’t you type up a proposal and run it by my office later?”

You had never seen someone’s eyes light up quicker than his did in that moment.

No one had ever seen a man’s eyes darken as quickly as Isao Shinomiya’s did when he saw you speaking with and smiling at a subordinate. As he stood in the doorway of the dining hall, an unfamiliar squeeze of his heart was harshly felt. He had come by your office earlier, hoping to catch a glance of you and exchange pleasantries, but when you weren’t there, he frowned deeply. Where could you be? You were always in your office. In fact, he walked by there so often he inadvertently learned your schedule. It was only 11:30am; you usually didn’t leave for lunch until 11:47am. Lo and behold, he found you at the dining hall, much too early and off schedule for Isao’s liking. He wanted to walk forward and break up whatever moment you two were sharing, but he found himself unable to move, his gaze frozen on the scene in front of him. You had been smiling that wonderful smile of yours, but something was horribly wrong—your hand was resting on the back of another man. Isao’s own hand was clenched in a fist by the time you moved away from the mystery man, and his boots hit the ground with a heavy thud of each step as he finally reached your table.

“L/n. When you’re finished with your meal, I need to speak with you.”

The words left his mouth before he could convince himself it was a bad idea to approach you. What he was going to speak to you about was yet to be determined, but he knew he couldn’t stand seeing you with this other man for another minute.

“D-director General, sir! I was just leaving, sir!” the man saluted nervously, turning to you and saluting you as well before clearing his tray in a hurry. Isao wanted you to have friends, but you deserved to be around someone who actually understood you, someone who was of a higher caliber and rank.

Someone like him.

“I think you scared off poor Platoon Leader Kato,” you joked, letting out a laugh that rivaled the lightness of a feather.

“Hm. If he’s that scared of me, he shouldn’t have that job,” Isao said, his harsh tone holding more disdain than usual, but you didn’t seem to notice.

“I’ll be on my way. Enjoy your meal,” he told you, quickly turning on his heel and all but running out of the dining hall. He needed answers, quick.

“Narumi! What do you know of a platoon leader named Kato?”

The Director General found himself in the middle of the disheveled room of the man who knew almost everything about everybody in the First Division—Gen Narumi. That is, if this Kato guy was powerful, anyway—if he was a weakling, Narumi wouldn’t have the slightest clue as to who he was. Isao didn’t know whether he preferred the guy to be strong or a bumbling fool.

“Huh? Why are you being so loud so early?” Gen questioned, emerging from a pile of blankets with his handheld gaming system.

“I don’t have time for your games, Narumi, this is important.”

“Fine, fine,” he groaned. “Kato, huh? Name rings a bell. He’s smart but his strength could use some work. Why, what’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Isao snapped, way too fast to avoid suspicion by the dark and light haired man.

“Oh, really?” Gen asked, a sly smile working its way on his lips, “‘cuz I think you’re lying.”

“I’m leaving,” Isao said, walking away, but Gen spoke up once more.

“This is about y/n, isn’t it?”

Isao stopped dead in his tracks. “Don’t use our Chief of Staff’s first name. I won’t tolerate that kind of blatant disrespect.”

Gen raised his hands in surrender. “Alright, sorry. This is about L/n, isn’t it?”

Isao’s silence was all Gen needed to know his assumption was correct.

“He didn’t try asking them out, did he?” Gen wondered, his eyes wide.

“He better not have,” answered Isao, his blood pressure steadily rising. “Did he mention doing such a thing?”

“No, it was just the first thought that came to mind.” Gen was furiously slamming the buttons on his gaming console. “Now that I can see you’re clearly jealous for whatever reason, would you care to tell me why?”

Shinomiya wanted to be surprised that Gen guessed correctly, but he figured that he was being much too obvious about his interest in you that even the man who never took his eyes off the screen in front of him could see right through the lovesick director.

“I’m not talking about this with you, Narumi,” Isao grumbled. “I actually have to get back to work. Unlike someone.”

“Whatever you say, Director Jealous,” teased Gen, wearing a knowing grin. Isao so desperately wanted to chew him out for being so, well, Gen, but he had to get back to his office before you got there. Without a second glance, Isao exited the room with a slight slam of the door. Walking down the halls, he pondered Gen’s words. Was he actually… jealous? The Director General, jealous of a platoon leader who dared to speak with someone Isao was fond of, but never declared himself to be? He scoffed internally.

I’m like a child with a schoolyard crush.

He checked his watch and cursed. You’d be arriving at his office any moment and he was still pretty far from his destination. He doubled down on his speed, eventually throwing himself in his desk chair, acting as nonchalant as possible with 30 seconds to spare.

“Director General? You wanted to speak with me?” you asked, knocking on the door.

“You may enter.”

Isao tried to calm his beating heart. It was from all the fast walking, of course, not from the prospect of seeing your lovely face sat across from him.

No, not that at all.

“How may I help?” you chirped happily, taking up a spot in the chair in front of the Director’s desk.

“What did Kato want from you at lunch?” he inquired, not wasting another moment to get to the bottom of this. The real question was, how would Isao react if Gen’s first thought was right—if Kato tried asking you on a date? He felt murderous intent slowly creep up inside him and he tried to shove it down while he waited for your answer.

“Oh, that! He had a fantastic idea regarding evacuation routes,” you answered. “I told him to prepare a proposal and we’d look it over when he was finished. Nice man. Very intelligent.”

“I’m sure he is,” Isao said, clasping his hands and resting them near the bridge of his nose. “He didn’t… ask anything personal, correct?”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

You looked very confused. That was a good thing, meaning Kato hadn’t approached you with romantic intentions, but Isao didn’t know how he’d explain such an odd question. Was now the right time to tell you the truth?

“L/n, listen. I…” He stopped. You were looking at him with such kind eyes that he didn’t how to form a sentence. It had been many years since he fell for somebody, and now that a person has finally stolen his heart once more, he couldn’t remember how to act accordingly.

“I didn’t like how he encroached on your free time with talk of business,” he said, a half truth coming from his mouth.

“I promise he didn’t bother me, Director. I took lunch early anyway. He probably tried to find me in my office first.”

“No he didn’t,” Isao mumbled, but you caught what he said.

“How do you know?”

Uh oh.

“I know because… I was looking for you at that same time,” he admitted, trying desperately to suppress the blush that threatened to overtake his cheeks. He was a grown man, for heaven’s sakes, he shouldn’t become a bumbling mess when talking to a person he found attractive.

“Oh? You must really enjoy talking to me, then, if you were searching me out prior to my impromptu meeting with Kato,” you gently joked.

“I do enjoy spending my time with you, yes.”

You didn’t falter. “Well, I’m pretty fond of you as well, Shinomiya.”

“I didn’t like how friendly Kato was with you,” he finally blurted out, the silly confession making him wish he was anywhere but within those four walls of his office.

“Am I wrong to assume that you’d wish that was you taking my up time at lunch instead of him?”

Isao’s eyes widened slightly in shock. “How did you…?”

“I had a hunch, that’s all,” you said, wearing a coy smile. “Shall we discuss your jealous tendencies over a coffee sometime? Maybe, say, 11:30 tomorrow morning?”

Isao was never the type to be taken aback so easily, but it felt like his world was being flipped completely upside down right now. It was like being on a rollercoaster, but he didn’t think he ever wanted to get off the ride—not if you were there next to him.

“I’d like that, L/n,” he answered, his softened eyes betraying his normal stone-like expression.

“Good, I’m looking forward to it. If you’ll excuse me, I have to text Narumi a thank you.”

Isao resisted the urge to growl out profanities. He was gonna kill that meddling kid!

[bellaturner]

The Unexpected

Unusual fluff (?)

Summary: you went to an Arctic Monkeys concert as a distraction to your recent breakup, but ended up having an unexpected connection with Alex.

TW: breakups

3,6k words

Masterlist

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

I had just broken up with the man I thought was the love of my life. Nothing made sense anymore: the sky was permanently gray, the grass was dead beneath my feet, and the chirping of birds had become a melancholic tune. Life had lost its vibrancy, leaving behind a hollow emptiness.

We had been together for six years. To my twenty-four-year-old self, it felt like an eternity. But then, it all came crashing down. The signs were there, lingering in the shadows. Silently warning us of the inescapable end, but neither of us wanted to face the turmoil of ending a relationship that had lasted for so long.

However, as days turned into nights, we found ourselves tangled in neverending arguments. Even when we were together, I felt alone. The solitude became impossible to deal with, and we couldn't bear the weight of our shared life any longer. Honestly, I still struggle to pinpoint the moment where it all went wrong.

Despite everything, a part of me still cares for him. Perhaps that's why I made the difficult decision to sever our ties. I couldn't stand to hurt him any more than I was already doing by simply existing by his side. Each fight pushed him further away, and the thought of his fading presence tormented me.

Eventually, I reached my breaking point. Something had to change. So, with a heavy heart, I decided to officially end what had long been over. In that final moment, as we parted ways, not a single tear fell from his eyes, and that realization cut me deep. I had hoped to see a glimpse of emotion, a reminder of what we once had. But it became clear that I had been mistaken, painfully wrong about his feelings. The truth hit me hard and shattered me into countless pieces.

I felt utterly lost. There was no other way to put it. Waking up each morning became a burden, and I found myself hoping to die in my sleep. The days lacked any meaning. My friends were concerned, and my family shared the bruises of my heartache. After all, he had become part of our lives during those six long years.

But then, on that fateful day, everything changed.

It was my final semester of college, the moment when I was supposed to embrace my dream of becoming a mechanical engineer, fueled by my passion for motorsports. But now, it all seemed foolish and pointless. Every ambition had lost its spark.

In one of my last classes, vehicle electronics and control systems, tears started to melt my notebook pages, forcing me to leave early. I sat on a bench outside the building, next to the parking lot, gaining the courage to return home and confront my feelings again. There weren't any more pictures of us in my room, but the memories of moments shared in it were still there.

That's when Lana, one of my closest friends and an audio engineering major, found me.

"That's it!" she exclaimed, her voice filled with frustration. "I can't take this any longer, YN! I know you're hurting, but you have to move on. You ended things a month ago, but you said it yourself: it's been over for nearly a year!"

"But Lana—" I tried to interject, but she cut me off, refusing to listen.

"I've got backstage passes to a festival I'll be working on next week, and you're coming with me. No excuses. I don't care if I have to drag you by your hair." Her determination startled me, but I knew she was right. "Come on, YN! Pretty please?" she pleaded, putting on that irresistible lost dog face that I could never say no to. She even added the praying hands this time. There was no way I could escape her demands.

"Okay," I relented, sniffing and wiping away the tears from my cheeks. She had a point. I couldn't bury myself in this hole any longer. It was time to start crawling out of it.

"Yay!" she exclaimed, jumping up and down with joy. "That band you love so much is playing on Saturday! The Arctic something, you know?" she said casually.

"I beg your pardon?" I shot up from my seat, disbelief washing over me. "The freaking Arctic Monkeys are going to be playing, and I have a backstage pass?" It felt too incredible to be true. There was no way in hell something like that would happen to me—the unluckiest person in the world.

"Yup, that's the one. So you're going!?" she said happily.

"Of course I am. I had bought tickets to it long ago, but with everything that happened, I guess I kinda forgot about..."

"Hey, hey, stop it!" She cut me off once again. "You're not allowed to say his name or even think about him!" she protested. "I'll be working, though, but maybe that's a good thing. You could try to find some other monkey stan to hook up with!" she said with a mischievous smile.

Lana is unbelievably straightforward. But I think that's why I love her. My silly little girl. My best friend.

I chuckled at her suggestion, shaking my head in both amusement and disbelief. "You never fail to surprise me, Lana. Finding another 'monkey stan' " I scoffed "I just want to enjoy the music and forget about everything else. No more falling in love."

Lana nodded, her expression softening. "I get it, YN. This is your chance to have a great time." It was a statement, and I knew that she would make sure of that.

Her words resonated with me. Maybe this concert was exactly what I needed—an opportunity to let go of the past and rediscover my own happiness. I smiled at my friend, grateful for her support.

"Thank you, Lana. For being here. I appreciate you more than you know."

She grinned back at me, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "I know, I know! I love you too, YN. Also, that's what friends are for".

With newfound determination and insane anticipation, we made plans for the festival. Lana shared more details about it and the lineup of incredible artists that would grace the stage on that weekend. But the thought of seeing the Arctic Monkeys perform live is what filled me with a mix of nervous excitement and sheer bliss.

Finally, the day of the concert had arrived, and I couldn't contain my excitement. I slipped into my favorite band t-shirt, a quirky image of the members dressed as clowns and the words "who the fuck's Arctic Monkeys?" boldly printed across it. With the backstage pass hanging proudly around my neck, I could feel the anticipation building up inside me.

Lana, being the amazing friend she was, had made sure everything was perfectly arranged for us. As we ventured backstage, the air buzzed with an electric energy that sent shivers down my spine. From my privileged viewpoint, I could see the massive crowd and the whole stage, just waiting for the Monkeys to take their places.

"Hey, listen," Lana said, her voice filled with a mix of excitement and responsibility. "I have to go work now, but you stay here and have the time of your life, okay? Text me if you need anything or decide to explore elsewhere. I love you!" She planted a kiss on my head before disappearing into the backstage area.

Not long after she left, the stage lights illuminated the massive venue, and the band made their entrance from the opposite side I was at. The opening chords of the first song reverberated through the speakers, igniting a surge of excitement and cheers from the crowd. I surrendered myself to the music, letting it embrace me completely, like a warm blanket. The world around me faded away, leaving only the hypnotizing rhythm and the lyrics that resonated with my soul.

With tears streaming down my face, I allowed the familiar melodies to stir deep emotions within me. Each song evoked a different feeling, and I embraced every single one. I couldn't help but dance like there was no tomorrow, losing myself in the moment. The euphoria overwhelmed me, and it felt like I was floating on a cloud of pure bliss.

As the concert progressed, around the third song or so, I caught a glimpse of Alex looking in my general direction. My heart skipped a beat, but I quickly dismissed it as a mere coincidence. He was probably just checking out his surroundings or searching for someone from the production team. I decided to step to the side, not wanting to obstruct his view, and to my surprise his head turned with me as I moved over.

Our eyes briefly locked, and in that split second, I could feel my whole face burning up. Was he actually looking at me? It felt like a fever dream, the kind you never expect to come true. It was probably the effect of one too many unlimited drinks I had enjoyed, courtesy of my backstage access.

Whether it was a genuine look or a result of my tipsy imagination, I couldn't help but revel in the moment. The music enveloped me, drowning out any doubts or rational thoughts. I surrendered myself to the rhythm, dancing like an old lady, feeling the pure bliss of being swept away by the insane energy of the concert.

The combination of the music, the crowd's energy, and the enchanting presence of Alex on stage created an atmosphere that was nothing short of magical.

'Arabella' was the sixth song played that night, and I'll never forget it. As soon as I heard that familiar guitar at the beginning of the song, I could feel the excitement running through my veins. It is one of my all-time favorite songs, a track that holds a special place in my heart. I can't quite put into words what it makes me feel, but it is a mix of exhilaration, warmth, and an indescribable amazing sensation.

My legs turned to jelly, and I found myself leaning against a nearby wall for support as I watched in awe. The combination of Cookie's amazing guitar riffs, Matt's powerful drumming skills, and Nick's pulsating bass lines drove the crowd into a frenzy. The energy was palpable, radiating through every beat and note.

My attention was drawn to Matt and his extraordinary talent behind the drum kit. His precision and sheer passion were a sight to behold. As I focused on him, completely immersed in the music, that indescribable feeling of watching my favorite band perform live washed over me one more time.

And then, it happened again. When I shifted my gaze towards Alex, I found him looking straight at me. Our eyes locked in for the second time that night, making my cheeks flush. I was grateful for the dim lighting that hid my embarrassment.

As he sang, a smile formed on his lips, almost like he knew what he was doing: singing my favorite song and looking straight into my eyes. I felt like he was singing it just for me. It was a crazy moment, and it made me down the rest of my beer in one gulp. I swear he let out a soft chuckle, away from the microphone.

As the last verse sounded through the air, I knew I had to sing along with the crowd, my voice merging with the chorus. "That's magic! On a cheetah print coat!" The lyrics echoed around me, lighting up my face with a huge smile while the tear roamed free.

As the concert continued, there were a few more instances when my and Alex's eyes met, a fleeting connection in the midst of the electrifying atmosphere. But I brushed it off, convincing myself that it was just part of his stage presence, a way to engage with the audience.

But, as the final notes of the last song gradually faded into the air, signaling the end of an unforgettable night, I figured that Alex would follow his bandmates, disappearing into the same entrance he came from. To my surprise, he broke away from the rest of the guys, walking towards the side of the stage I was at.

His steps were purposeful and determined, making my heart race as he approached. The gap between us was closing quickly, and I tried to steady my trembling hands and calm my racing thoughts.

A rush of excitement and disbelief flooded me as he stood before me, and I was hit by the combination of wood, whisky, and tobacco scent that he emanated, leaving me momentarily speechless. His eyes sparkled with exhaustion and genuine appreciation.

"You sure look like you had a great time, love," he said with a husky voice, sending shivers down my spine. I couldn't help but let the butterflies fly around my stomach by the way he casually referred to me as 'love,' that charming British accent adding an extra layer of charm to his character.

I mustered a shy smile. His presence was magnetic and the whirlwind of emotions inside me made it difficult to speak.

His gaze traveled up and down my figure, a playful glimmer danced in Alex's eyes as he glanced at my t-shirt. "Your choice of attire is quite captivating," he said, letting out a laugh that made my cheeks flush. "Join me for a beer, will ya?" he asked, his tone more of a confident statement than a mere question, gesturing for me to follow him deeper into the backstage area.

"Al, mate, come join us!" Matt's voice carried excitement for the post-show celebration. "We're going out for-"

"Not tonight, man," Alex responded without even glancing in Matt's direction, his eyes fixed on mine, unyielding. "I think I'll just head back to the hotel. Thanks, though."

I stood there, stunned, as Alex brushed off his friend's invitation without a second thought, leaving me wondering if he had a different plan in mind. Matt shrugged and joined the rest of the band, while I remained rooted to the spot, my mind swirling.

"Well, it looks like I have some free time," Alex's eyes held a glimmer of curiosity and a hint of a smile danced on his lips. "How about we grab that beer we were talking 'bout?"

Excitement coursed through my body, and I nodded eagerly, unable to contain my smile. "Sounds great," I replied, my voice filled with faked confidence. "Lead the way."

As Alex led me through the backstage area, we entered a private room tucked away from the bustling crowd. The moment the door closed behind us, the noise dissipated, leaving behind a sense of tranquility. The room was dimly lit, adorned with vintage music posters and instruments that had an aura of creative energy.

Alex approached a small cooler, grabbing a couple of cold beers, and handing one to me. "Here you go," he said with a charming smile. "Make yourself at home, darlin'. I'm just gonna change real quick,"

"Thank you," I replied, accepting the beer gratefully. My heart raced, the British mannerisms swiping me off my feet again. I watched him disappear into the bathroom, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness.

As Alex left, I took a moment to take in the room. The instruments scattered across the space caught my attention, particularly the grand piano sitting in the corner. My fingers itched with the desire to touch the keys. It had been ages since I last played one.

Leaving my beer on a nearby table, I made my way to the piano bench. Sitting down with my back turned to the bathroom door, I ran my fingers gently over the smooth ivory keys, and began to play a familiar tune, allowing the notes to flow from my fingertips.

The sound filled the room, a gentle melody that mirrored my emotions. I closed my eyes, losing myself in the music, letting it carry me away from the moment. When I was younger, I used to say that the piano was my voice, expressing the emotions that my words couldn't capture.

The sound of footsteps made me snap back into reality. I swiftly rose from the bench, ready to apologize for my impromptu performance, but before any words could escape my lips, Alex interjected.

"Please, don't" Alex said, his voice laced with a hint of awe. He stood at a distance, his eyes fixed on me and his hands shoved into the pockets of his worn leather jacket. "That was beautiful. You have a gift."

"Thank you," I managed to say, my voice betraying any attempt at sounding nonchalant. "It's been a while since I've played."

He chuckled softly, his eyes sparkling with playful charm. "Well, consider me a lucky man then."

A genuine smile spread across my face as I admired Alex's transformed appearance. He had tidied up his hair and changed into a sleek white collar dress shirt that accentuated his abs. His leather jacket added a touch of rebellious charm, and he was wearing that illegally sexy scarf of his.

"You look like a brand new person." I remarked, walking past him to retrieve my beer can.

He smirked, a flicker of amusement dancing in his eyes. "A change of clothes and a splash of cologne can work wonders, wouldn't you agree?" he replied, his voice dripping with playful modesty.

I smiled at him once again, feeling a sense of ease settling between us. Taking a sip from my beer can, I realized I hadn't properly introduced myself. "I'm YN, by the way," I said, trying to keep the conversation casual.

"It's a pleasure, YN. I'm Alex," he replied warmly, his voice inviting. I couldn't help but chuckle quietly, knowing exactly who the musical genius before me was.

"The pleasure is all mine," I responded, lifting my can in a toast. The clinking sound filled the air.

His gaze shifted towards the vinyl player nestled in the corner of the room, catching his attention. He walked over to it, selected a disc and delicately placed it on the turntable. The soft crackle of the needle meeting the vinyl filled the air, as the melodic tunes gracefully unfolded.

Returning his focus to me, his eyes sparkled with curiosity, a genuine interest shining through. "So, YN, what brings you here tonight?" he inquired, his voice carrying a gentle warmth.

I couldn't help but laugh at his question. "Aside from your amazing songs?" I replied playfully, my gaze meeting his. "Well, my friend is working backstage, and she managed to get me a ticket. I couldn't pass up the opportunity to see you perform live."

He nodded, a hint of appreciation in his eyes, and then he extended his hand towards me, gently taking hold of my beer can and setting it aside.

"Will you dance with me, YN?" he asked, his voice turning my thoughts into a blissful haze, as my name rolled off his tongue.

My heart skipped a beat, and I eagerly placed my hand in his, feeling the warmth of his touch. "I'd be delighted," I replied, my voice had a hint of nervousness to it. "I must warn you, though, I'm not the best dancer."

He simply smiled, his touch steady yet gentle, as his other hand found its place on my waist, effortlessly guiding me across the dance floor. We moved in harmony, a mixture of playful twirls and gentle sways, surrendering ourselves to the embrace of the music.

The song came to an end, and as if on cue, Alex pulled me even closer, making me look at him. The room buzzed with energy. His hand, which had been resting on my waist, moved to the back of my head, gently tangling in my hair, sending a thrilling shiver down my spine.

My lips parted with a soft sigh, surrendering to the gentle tug he made on my hair. The reaction prompted Alex, as he leaned in, allowing our lips to touch in a delicate kiss.

His lips were soft and insistent, exploring every inch of my mouth. It felt like he was perfect.

The room was filled with the gentle white noise of the needle scratching the record, creating a soothing ambiance. But then my phone started buzzing in the background. We initially ignored it, lost in our passionate exchange, but after it rang three times, Alex broke the kiss.

"Maybe you should answer that, doll," he whispered, his fingers caressing my hair as he brought me back to reality.

"Hey, Lan," I said softly, my gaze locked into his dark brown eyes. He stared right back at me.

"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!?" Lana's voice boomed through the phone, making me hold it away from my ear.

Alex burst into laughter, seemingly amused by the situation.

"I'm sorry, Lana. I got carried away," I explained.

"Oh, come on! Who's with you? I heard laughter," Lana teased, her voice adopting a playful tone. "Did you meet someone?"

"Oh, she definitely met someone," Alex interjected, his distinct accent making his words stand out.

"Is that-" Lana started to ask, but her question remained unfinished. It was an overwhelming experience for me.

"May I?" Alex asked, reaching for my phone, and I nodded.

"She's alright, Lana. She'll be with you shortly," he assured her before ending the call.

"One for the road?" he whispered, his fingers gently tracing my swollen lips.

I chuckled in response, and he leaned in, our lips meeting once again in a passionate embrace.

"Can I have your number?" he asked, his forehead resting against mine.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

This has been rotting in my drafts since May, I truly didn't know how to end it so I just left an open ending I guess.

I also experimented writing in first person, which I don't intend on doing anymore tbh but let me know if you liked it anyways.

I've been asked a couple times to tag people, so lmk if you'd like to be tagged on my next fic.

As always, love youuu 💕💕💕

~ Bella

[orshii]

bitter and sweet

Author: orshii

Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x female reader

Warnings: Use of word "fuck", smoking, alcohol consumption

Word count: 2k

Summary: When you finally quit your job, you need a distraction. Hongjoong happens to be that.

A/N: Am- hi? This is totally new to me, and I would've never uploaded this story, if it weren't for my bestie @bvidzsoo (ly). She kept saying, how good this story was, so Ig I'm here? I really hope you will enjoy it, as much as I did when I wrote this little drabble. Recently I am very whipped for Hongjoong, so yeah...I just had to write this. Anyways, have fun. xoxo orshii

After a whole month of living like a robot: starting work early in the morning, when the sun wasn't even up yet, until when it hid behind again the buildings of our little town; I slowly started to feel like I was losing my mind. The feeling was similar to when your days are just as monotone as the clock on your wall, never changing its course the opposite way. You become one with your regular human life, which is always clouded, always grey just like the clouds above you; there are no colors.

It started becoming overwhelming, I started getting tired of this feeling of emptiness; I felt the void spread through my body every single fucking day. That's when I decided to quit my job, which wasn't even my dream job. I have been working at a fucking bakery as a cashier, of course it wasn't my dream job, whose would it be…

It was a Friday when I quit, so, as I was an unemployed nobody, the best idea was to celebrate that, wasn’t it? My friends were excited to hear my sudden proposal of going to a party, which was held by the town’s biggest brat, Jung Wooyoung; but I didn't care, I needed to get laid as soon as possible. I just wanted an escape from this shit reality, and not to think about what was going to happen in the future now that I was without a job.

 We decided to dress up pretty and sexy for the night with the girls. I was wearing black ripped jeans with fishnets underneath, and a black crop top with some cuts on it here and there, accompanied with my black boots and some accessories.

As we arrived in front of the house of said brat, Wooyoung, we went inside deep into the crowd of swaying bodies, which were flowing with the music. The music was so loud that we couldn't even hear our own voice, the beat punching our chests harshly. The first thing we had to do was to drink, of course, so we headed to the kitchen. We could barely see the furniture inside the kitchen due to the smog filling the air, coming from the people smoking this and that. Finally, somehow we found our love, the meaning of our night:  alcohol. We started to take some tequilas shots, and anything else we found, honestly. We just wanted to get drunk. Me, at least.

Eventually, I somehow found myself around the swaying bodies in the living room, but my friends were nowhere to be found.

I started to dance following the flow of the music; I felt like I could finally breathe, my latest months were hard and I just needed to forget all of the shit that’s happened.

At some point, I felt like somebody was watching me, I don't know how, I’d call it perhaps intuition.

When my eyes finally found the owner of two staring lustful eyes, my breath hitched. I have never seen this man in my entire life before, but as I watched him, my heart just started to race like it never has. My heart didn't even race like this when a fucking bear started to chase me, and that’s no fun.

I felt dizzy, maybe because of the influence of the alcohol or I didn’t know, but the sudden emotions started hitting me like I was a fucking punch bag.

The man was sitting on the couch, he was a bit far, but I could see his devilish smile from where I stood. It’s not supposed to be a joke; but with the red lights of the party, he looked like the fucking devil himself. His raven-black hair fell on his forehead, reaching his eyes, making his glare even more intense as he held a can of beer, leaning over his knees.

I haven't moved since my eyes landed on him but somebody, suddenly, bumped into me, and if I remember the guy's name correctly, it’s San. But I was glad, because I somehow found myself back to reality again, as if the last few minutes were in slow-motion.

I tried not to look at the stranger again, since my friends finally found me and we started to dance together, laughing and goofing around. I would be lying if I said my eyes never searched for the stranger again as he had moved from the couch. I felt a bit disappointed that I might never see him again.

And there was a chance that I actually might see him, and after a while, I suddenly felt two warm hands around my waist. I don't know how, don't ask, but I just knew it was the stunning stranger guy from the couch, with whom I had a staring contest like half an hour ago.

We just weirdly danced to the music, feeling the rhythm as it led our bodies in synchrony. It was weird because he was a total stranger but, somehow, I felt safe in his warm arms. I slowly turned around to finally look at the owner of the warm hands, and I was fucking right. I felt like I was going to melt right then and there like ice cubes on a hot summer day.

Why? Because he was the hottest guy I have ever seen in my life, and I'm not joking, I would never joke about things like that. He looked ethereal, and I don't know what led him to me, but I thank God for it, because it was worth every moment. I looked into his eyes as he was glaring at me sharply. I couldn't read his expression, but I saw a small smirk slip onto his slim lips, so, I reached my arms around his neck. Yes, I felt comfortable like this, after all, he was still holding my waist.

“Hi.” I spoke suddenly. Don't even ask me why I had the courage to even say something to him. That night, my soul has left my body surely.

“Hey.” He said with a low tone, leaning close to my ear so I could hear him. I felt shivers running through my body.

“Wanna smoke?” I asked him with questioning eyes.

He smiled, “Yeah, of course.”

And then, he grabbed my hands and pulled me towards the backyard.

I looked back at my friends, but they were just laughing and shouted, “Go get him!”

It made me laugh as I followed the stranger.

As we finally arrived outside, I felt relieved. The weather was nice, I finally could hear my own voice and I got to inhale some fresh air.

We stopped at the terrace of the house, and I leaned my back against one of the pillars as the stranger across from me did the same thing.

We were quiet for a bit as I enjoyed the fresh air, and I felt him watching me. It wasn't an awkward quiet, it was a comfortable one. I stared back at him, taking in the sight of him as his outfit screamed elegance, but at the same time it was casual; he was wearing all black.

“Aren't you going to smoke?” He asked suddenly, breaking the quiet.

“Nah, I don't smoke.” I said with a serious face.

The stranger looked at me, his eyebrows scrunching together in confusion.

“Then why did you want to come out to—smoke?”

I just shrugged, “I just needed some fresh air, but to not disappoint you—” I started to search for something in my pocket, “I have this.”

I showed him the colorful elf bar, raising it up to his face.

He started to laugh loudly; it was low toned and the sound tingled through my whole body. I loved his laugh.

“Okay.” He nodded, “Then I’m going to smoke a real cigarette.”

He spoke while still smiling as he reached for his cigarettes in his pocket. Damn, he was actually smoking smoking; that’s a red flag, but I like it.

He slowly pulled out a cigarette from the package, and took it in between his parted thin lips, his gaze never leaving mine, only when he lit it up.

I decided to smoke the elf bar which was in my hands. It tasted like a tangle of freshly picked raspberries and blueberries from the wild fields, accompanied with the taste of dark red cherries. I loved the sweet taste as it slowly went down into my lungs, spreading the sweetness everywhere, and then, I exhaled it slowly out into the clear air.

The guy in front of me was staring at my lips as the sweet fog came out from my parted lips.

“Is it good?” He asked, gazing at me.

“It is. It’s sweet, unlike yours.” I said pointing at the cigarette in his hands.

He looked down at it.

“It's not that bad—wanna taste it?” He asked me frowning with a smirk on his lips.

And the look he was giving me sent me to Hell, just for me to return as Lucifer. That's why I was suddenly so bold, out of my mind.

“Do you want to taste this?” I pointed at my elf bar, avoiding his question on purpose.

“Yeah, why not?” He said, stepping closer to me.

I stared at him as an idea came to my mind.

“Wanna double shotgun?” I asked pointing at my elf bar and his cigarette, watching him with inviting eyes.

Just the idea of it was already so exciting, now imagine actually doing it…with a stranger, whom, despite having just met, it felt like I have known him my whole life.

“Hell, yes.” He said in a low tone, it was almost like a thunder. He stepped closer to me, our bodies almost touching, but it seemed like he didn't want to overstep some unsaid boundaries.

And so, I slowly inhaled from the elf bar, inhaling it deep down into my lungs as he did the same with his cigarette, burning the end of it with his inhale.

As we both were ready, we leaned into each other’s bodies, our lips almost touching. We exhaled the smoke at the same time as it tumbled through our parted lips, just to meet with the other's soft lips, inhaling the other's taste. I breathed him in, held it in my lungs, wanting to keep it there forever.

“It's so bitter.” I whispered still leaning close, slowly exhaling the smoke of his cigarette.

“It's so sweet.” He whispered back to me, leaning even closer in, gazing at me with dark eyes, which were telling me so much yet nothing at the same time.

“Wanna taste it on your sweet lips.” He said, reaching out his thumb to brush it against my lower lip.

“Then what are you waiting for?” I whispered against his bitter lips, closing my eyes slowly.

He slowly grabbed my chin and tilted it upwards, and then leaned in to brush his lips against mine. I could taste the bitterness of his cigarette on his lips, blending with the sweet taste of my own lips, which the elf bar has left behind.

Sweet and bitter collided, it was like our own two worlds colliding: he tasted bitter, but somehow, he brought some sweetness into my grey world, painting it slowly full with colors as he brushed his lips against mine.

“You haven’t told me your name.” I said after our lips separated from each other, desiring for more. I wanted to taste him forever.

“Hongjoong.” He whispered, our lips almost touching, “And what's your name, pretty?”

“Y/N” I said, and he smiled at me sweetly as our lips collided again, never wanting to separate.

He filled me up with passion. He made me want to finally step out of my monotone life. I felt like I was alive again. He made my grey life colorful again.

Later on, we were passed out in the back of his car…how’d we let it get this far, I don’t know.

[crushedsweets]

What about some lulu headcannons since you seem to like her? :)

oh anon u are spoiling me.... heres a little sketch of her college life. let me begin . . tw for general creepypasta things, abuse, bullying, death, etc

ok. so a lot lulus og stuff is gross obviously (although a majority of the og creepypastas have gross origins/creators). as a kid, i was pretty attached to her, but looking back , its just. ugghhghgh. which is why i want to try giving her her own horror type story while still following some of the core things that made her her. BEGONE WITH MIDDLE/HIGH SCHOOL KILLERS...

lulu is 24 but described as 'physically 14' which bugs me esp bc theres so much emphasis on her body being like an adult. and frankly i am not crazy about yet another 'little kid bullied/abused then goes crazy/demonic' story so i scrapped the bullshit ‘is 24 but looks 14 but is drawn like she’s 24!’. So I decided to just to make make her whole zalgo poisoning occur later in life. since its now set in university, a handful of things changed. mayhaps she knows jack ?

she grew up as a rich girl being put through several private schools growing up. she wasnt the smartest, she wasnt the most social, and while i think that the og story did this really fucking poorly, she did deal with harassment cuz she developed early. ranged from people calling her a slut for the same clothes as a thinner girl, to getting dress coded for no good reason, to rumors, etc. so, she's being bullied by her peers, though its moreso a ton of gossip rather than stuff in her og. overall school sucked for her

finally she goes to university. shes away from all those people, away from her helicopter parents, away from dress codes and loneliness. she tries SO hard to keep up the perfect daughter persona in public bc she knows shes walking on thin ice(having been punished for things out of her control all her life), with a wardrobe full of pencil skirts and button ups, but then she finally meets this guy named josh. but that shit gets seriously exhausting. and as many kids in her position do, she wants to Rebel .. she starts going to parties and whatnot w her edgy ass roommate. random garage shows, raves, generally reckless behavior etc. its not her fully her thing but she's there and having fun.

idk his name in the og story but there was that guy that led her on just to further abuse her. i changed him up and made him some guy in a frat that she met at a rando party. he was so sweet to her the first time they met, they talked for a long time at the party, he was cool overall and she never ever craved attention like this before - she never even GOT attention like this before, coming from an all girls school, so she clung. but he wasnt actually gonna date her, so he said some bullshit excuse about 'you know how greek life is, my frat wont let me date u unless u join this specific sorority!! soz' and he chose the worst, most clique-y sorority that has the most insane hazing ritual for girls that arent sought after. he thought there was no way she'd give it a shot and he could get her off his back. a dick move, but he didnt think she'd do it.

but, she does - and the hazing is fucking shit. the girls in the sorority are worse than the girls in highschool (and maybe in cliché fashion, one of her highschool bullies ended up in the sorority before her?). it starts off as things like 'oh you gotta buy your sorority sisters coffee for a week' to 'oh you have to be drunk/high throughout all your classes for a week' to completely deranged shit like branding yourself or slashing a professors tires. things nobody in their right mind would do, typically.

i havent decided exactly how exactly lulu hits the point where they think she's dead, but a group of sorority girls think she is. they panic, and in their panic cannot feel her pulse or hear breathing. she's completely unconscious, cold, and frankly on the way to death - so they take her to slenders forest and get to work

they bury her in a shallow grave, unaware of all the different demons residing in the forest watching one of the most gruesome displays of humanity. if youve watched girl from nowhere, theres a scene where nano gets buried alive by a group of her classmates then she wakes up . . imagine that.

im thinking, similar to the operator, zalgo can infect people as well . . maybe people on their death beds ? anyway, lulu's infected. long after the girls run off, lulu manages to dig herself out of the grave. shes wheezing, coughing, sobbing, its dark and cold and foggy, and she now has to come face to face with zalgo making some weird 'i saved you, i want something in return.' and there goes her eyes !!! rip lulu. maybe zalgo did it cuz hes a dick, maybe he actually needs human parts to seal the deal.

theres some more interaction but overall lulu doesnt have a ton of demon powers or anything. new wounds heal quickly, but her past ones will never will. she can be eerily quiet, popping in and out with fog, doesn't need food/water/sleep. . she does have kinda crazy strength(no agility or speed), but she's so mentally weak it does nothing for her

for a while she does just wander the forest in complete and utter mourning, until one of the proxies finds her and is like Oh Fuck that's not human. toby describes her as a zombie. so she's another job for them to handle

eventually they settle her in the hospital with ann.. the hospital is likely an area that experiences more fog, being closer to the lake perhaps, so it just makes sense to put her in an area she can see. it took a while for lulu to calm down bc she now has a pretty big fear around women , and the proxies have to CONSTANTLY come around and check in for a while, cuz she feels safer with them. maybe they tried putting her with jack but jack said absolutely the fuck not. bc lulus legitmately scary. she's constantly croaking, crying, wheezing, dripping blood everywhere she goes, etc.

she eventually gets along with ann, who thinks lulus cute and fun to chat with. i made a joke about them doing tiktok dances together but like. i could see it. maybe ann reminds lulu of her roommate, the only girl whos been completely nice to her ? dunno. (despite the roomie being the reason lulu got into the partying and stuff)

mmmmmm yeah. that is basically the entire rewrite .

i likely wont include her too much in the story just because the rewrite is so drastic+shes not all too popular but i used to feel very fondly towards her when i was 10 and i do think her character cconcept is super cool (the fog, the eye stuff, zalgo poisoning etc). theres just hella weird stuff but its a creepypasta from 2013 idk what we expect

[wambsgansshoelaces]

blurb six!!! I’m sorry I’m taking so long :,)

Shameless

Siobhan Roy x Reader

prompt: “maybe something about shiv coming out to her family and revealing her relationship with you”

this one was cutesy I think. I really hope you love it!!!! enjoy and thank you so much for requesting, ilyyy <3

Word Count: 730

“I’m sorry, but we can’t go together.”

You make a face at your girlfriend. “Come on, Shiv. Really? It’s been a year.”

She pouts back at you. The two of you had fallen head over heels for each other the minute you’d met. It was like it was straight out of a movie- you’d run into her head-on at work, causing both of you to spill everything you’d been holding. Feeling extremely bad, you’d gotten onto your hands and knees and began gathering up her things. When you’d looked up to hand the stack of papers back to her, she was already staring down at you, face pink, expression bashful.

You’d begun seeing each other in secret. You’re both girls, and you both had your reservations about letting the public know you were involved romantically. In the beginning, you’d completely understood and even agreed with her when she’d asked you to stay quiet about the two of you to her family, especially her father. It made sense to you- you’d never been accepted for your identity. You knew the fear of what would happen to you after coming out all to well. How could you blame her?

By now, you’d at least expected her to tell her siblings. At least. You couldn’t go on dates in public, she distanced herself from you at work things, you could never be her date at galas. You’re caught in a difficult place. You understand the hesitation, but when would it become *too much hesitation? When would you hit your limit?

“I want to take you. I want to be with you the entire fucking night, but I can’t,” she insists. You just stare at her, gaze imploring. “It’ll be too much.”

“Are you ashamed of me?” you ask bluntly.

She blinks, taken aback. “No, of course not!”

“Because you’re going to have to tell everyone at some point. What, you want to do this forever?” you ask exasperatedly, gesturing between the two of you. “Gallivanting around in secret? Not being able to go out to dinner with the love of my life because she’s too worried people will *see us together?”

Maybe you were being too harsh, but you were beginning to be fed up.

“I just- I’m not ashamed that I’m with a woman. I’m proud. I’m really happy that I’m with you, you know that.”

“You just don’t act like it.” She opens her mouth to argue back, but she decides against whatever it is she’s about to say. Instead, she sighs, dropping her face into her hands. Immediately, you scoot across the couch so that you’re pressed right up against her. She drops her head onto your shoulder, and you press a kiss into her hair. “Listen. I’m being too mean about it, and I’m sorry. Can we compromise, at least?”

She takes a deep breath, steadying herself. “No, no compromise. You’re right. This isn’t fair to you, or to me, really.” She turns her head to ghost a kiss over your shoulder. “We’ll go together.”

You give her a kiss before she leaves, and she returns it desperately with the whispered promise of her prescience by your side the entire night. She has to go early to make sure everything is running smoothly, as she’s technically the host through her father.

When you arrive at the gala, you relish the look on her face when she first sees you. Her entire expression lifts, brightness suddenly seeping into her eyes. Her gaze flits up and down your body, her mouth curling into a smile.

You make your way to her side, where her hand is already open and waiting for yours. Your fingers lace together. “I told Kendall and Roman you’d be here with me. Like, as my girlfriend.”

“I’m glad.” You give her hand an encouraging squeeze. It’s all stepping in the right direction, and you’re proud of her. “You look very pretty.”

“You think so?” she asks, blush spreading over her cheeks. “I tried dressing up all nice just for you.”

“Really? You're so adorable. I love you, you know.”

“Yeah, really. No shame, remember?” She plants a kiss on your cheek. “And I love you more.”

She punctuates her sentence with a kiss to your lips, long and deep, affectionate and loving.

It's only the morning after that you realize that she made sure her father saw.

[yuurivoice]

since you love to write, does your job ever feel like actual work? Kinda like that saying “if you love your job, you’ll never work a day of your life.” Kinda question.

also, how much free time do you normally have?

It felt like actual work from pretty early on. The moment I crossed over from doing it for funsies to sometimes taking commissions I didn't really feel strongly about for money, it was work.

I've had to drag my ass into the booth and record on days when I couldn't even take care of my basic needs because of ADHD struggles, and that sure felt like work.

I've had to write like absolute dogshit and just accept it because I had deadlines and people waiting on me. That felt like work.

I've had to spend hours breaking down different shots needed for visual projects, like a caveman painting on a wall for a renaissance artist to reference. That definitely felt like work.

I've had to deal with community moderation, personal betrayals of trust, harassment, goddamn pr crises, tax nightmares, and shipping hundreds of orders by hand. That was work.

That old cliche of if you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life is a crock of shit. But all of that being said, even though it is work, and even though it can be really difficult sometimes?

Wouldn't trade it for the world. There is no other calling for me, my heart is not satisfied if I am not telling stories, and for some reason the universe decided that this was the path forward. I didn't plan on it. I never loved voice acting, but I learned to. I wish there was less bullshit over the years that robbed me of my joy. I wish I wasn't fighting my brain for so much of the time I've been doing this.

But the good will always outweigh the bad.

It's a dream fulfilled. I never needed or wanted to be some sort of massive sensation, or have broad renown or appeal. I didn't need to become a best selling author, or create a hit video game, or do anything like that. I am happy that I've found even a small group of people who love to get lost in my worlds, or spend time with my characters, or hear them get railed in pumpkin patches.

I get to experience the magic of creating something I didn't know was within me. Again and again. Projects like BitterSweet, Shattered, and Echoes of Evalas are precious to me because of the wondrous feeling creating those stories gives me. They could all flop, and I'd do it anyway.

I was creating art when no one was ever there to listen or watch. In that regard, it's never been work. It is a function of my existence. I was made, raised, and shaped to tell stories. It's the one thing I can do. At a table of friends, an audience of hundreds, or on long drives by myself. It's like breathing. It just happens.

Being able to call it work is a privilege. I'm thrilled that I've got the chance to work. I'm happy that I even have the opportunity to have days where I have to push myself. Because it has given me more than I've ever thought it could. I was on food stamps living with family under constant threat of getting kicked out. I was lonely, isolated, and scared of the world. I was considered lazy.

Finding my lane, getting traction, and thriving was something I considered out of reach. I was ready to tap out and accept that I just wasn't quite right for life. Like maybe I just didn't have all the right parts. I was okay with it, even. I was tired.

So yeah. It's work. But I spent a long time desperate to find work I was suited for, and with a lot of recent life changes I've removed many of those points of friction that would make it tough to work. So I'm thrilled.

And that, my friends, is what happens when you ask a professional yapper if they love yapping. 😂

As for free time, it's hard to say. So much of what I do being my own boss and shit, plus creative stuff just constantly churning in my brain, I struggle to clearly define what is and is not "free time". I basically have to be on call. At any given moment something might need my attention, or creativity comes knocking. It's hard to completely disconnect.

I've done a good job of getting into the office about four times a week. That has helped me find some sort of balance, but even recent writing I've done was on my laptop at my little breakfast nook having coffee.

I think the big thing is, I can create my free time whenever I need or want to.

Anywho, this is why you don't open Tumblr when you wake up to pee in the middle of the night because then you spent 30 minutes staring at your phone writing a whole ass essay. I'm gonna go get out of bed and make something awesome now. 💖