#i heard these lyrics and immediately thought of her tbh

[laurapalmerz]

twin peaks (fire walk with me + the return), cr. david lynch + mark frost // oceania, the birthday massacre

[tothestarsinvelaris]

Rain by Sleep Token is so Elriel coded.

I just can't get over how much it sounds like Azriel talking to Elain

(obvs the song isn't actually about them, but I had to break down the lyrics with an Elriel specific interpretation bc its just so fitting)

For so long, I have waited So long that I almost became Just a stoic statue, fit for nobody

This whole section is him commenting on how he was pining after Mor for 500 years and lost himself in the process, always beating himself up for feeling inadequate to the point of fading into the background.

And I don't wanna get in your way But I finally think I can say That the vicious cycle was over The moment you smiled at me

I don't wanna get in your way - the mating bond is there with Lucien, and while he knows she's not really into him, he wants to give her a fair chance. Plus, Azriel is well aware of Elain dealing with the trauma of being Made against her will and her recently broken engagement with Grayson. I finally think I can say that the vicious cycle was over the moment you smiled at me - He and Elain have admired each other from the first time they met at the Archeron estate while she was still human. She asked about his wings and flying and they immediately understood each other in the roles they played for their families. She broke the cycle he was stuck in with Mor.

And just like the rain You cast the dust into nothing And wash out the salt from my hands So touch me again I feel my shadow dissolving Will you cleanse me with pleasure?

You cast the dust into nothing - Elain makes him feel alive, she makes him forget about the years of pining and feeling like a statue. She made him laugh like nobody in the IC had ever heard him laugh before. And wash out the salt from my hands - she said his hands were beautiful, she doesn't balk from his scars or the blood on his hands. She is also associated with gardening, baking, and cooking food, which are all things that bring life and happiness, she has easily and effortlessly included him in these things already, and he has shown that he wants to participate in them with her, giving him a way to use his hands for good. So touch me again I feel my shadow dissolving - his shadows canonically disappear when he's feeling safe, happy, comfortable, at peace, etc. They seem to always disappear when Elain is around, which is just more evidence that she makes him feel cared for. Will you cleanse me with pleasure? - it's giving the bonus chapter almost kiss where he is ready to beg on his knees for a taste of her

It's that chemical cut that I can get down with Up like the moon and out like the hounds A dangerous disposition somehow Refracted in light, reflected in sound I'm coiled up like the venomous serpent Tangled in your trance and I'm certain You have got your hooks in me

Up like the moon and out like the hounds - he literally can't sleep over her. A dangerous disposition refracted in light, reflected in sound - the mating bond, the heated convo in the BC with Rhys, the threat of the blood duel, etc. But its all encompassing. His feelings take over his entire being and make up everything he sees and hears around him. I'm coiled up like the venomous serpent tangled in your trance and I'm certain you have got your hooks in me - he's so caught up and tightly wound bc he can't have her and can't even express his feelings properly, but he knows she feels the same way.

I know, I know, the way that it goes You get what you give, you reap what you sow And I can see you in my fate And I know, I know, I am what I am The mouth of the wolf, the eyes of the lamb So darling, will you saturate?

I know the way that it goes you get what you give, you reap what you sow - he doesn't feel like he is deserving of someone as pure and precious as Elain. He doesn't seem to really think he's deserving of anything or anyone at all tbh. His thoughts in the BC are so self-deprecating, which clearly stems from a life of not being understood and his childhood traumas I can see you in my fate - he feels so strongly for Elain, he's literally questioning their religion. He's asking things like 'what if the cauldron was wrong?' His feelings for Elain are what he's observed both Rhys and Cassian feel for Feyre and Nesta in their mating bonds, its like he can see Elain in his fate. (also, love that she's a seer and the little nod to that with this line) I know, I am what I am, the mouth of the wolf, the eyes of the lamb - Azriel feels impure because of the things he's done in his life and the blood he's shed. He would refer to himself as the mouth of the wolf - deadly, sharp, vicious) and would refer to Elain as the eyes of the lamb (innocent, pure, precious).

Nobody can say for certain If maybe its all just a game When I open my eyes to the future I can hear you say my name So rain down on me

When I open my eyes to the future I can hear you say my name - I honestly just love the nod to her seer abilities again with this line. I would love to have their book involve Elain having visions about a future with Azriel in some way. I just love thinking about this from Azriel's pov and him being like "look, I'm not a seer, but I see you in my future"

ugh this song, this band, this ship!!! 🥰💙

[coquetteriddle]

Okay I’m the birds of a feather ask, and I need to rant about all the songs that remind me of tomarry I just have to. A lot of these songs are going to be Taylor swift songs I can’t help it 😔

Coney Island by Taylor swift: this is from evermore and is not a very well liked song in the fandom unfortunately but as soon as I heard it in dec 2020 it reminded me of tomarry. Like immediately. It reminds me of a very specific subset of tomarry fanfics where Tom’s ambition drives them apart when they’re young- but it also fits a general theme of tom’s awful shit driving Harry away. some lyrics to drive my point home:

Break my soul in two Looking for you but you're right here If I can't relate to you anymore Then who am I related to? And if this is the long haul How'd we get here so soon? Did I close my fist around something delicate? Did I shatter you?

And I'm sitting on a bench in Coney Island wondering where did my baby go? The fast times, the bright lights, the merry go Sorry for not making you my centerfold

Over and over Lost again with no surprises Disappointments, close your eyes And it gets colder and colder When the sun goes down

like…UGHHH?????? Break my soul looking for you but you’re right here??? Tom making horcruxes against Harry’s will so that he can stay for forever with Harry but in the process he loses the humanity that made Harry love him??? Did I close my fist around something delicate, did I shatter you??? Tom being too controlling, too possessive, ruining his relationship with Harry in the process??? I could go on and on for each lyric honestly.

Better man by Taylor swift: literally just going to post some lyrics here. Not the full song fits but like. Cmon. I’m not even going to spend time justifying this one.

And I see the permanent damage you did to me Never again, I just wish I could forget when it was magic

I wish it wasn't 4 a.m., standing in the mirror Saying to myself, you know you had to do it I know the bravest thing I ever did was run

Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I can feel you again But I just miss you, and I just wish you were a better man

like. Like. Like. Like. Like- when I heard better man in 2021 for the first time immediately I thought ‘tomarry. Tomarry. Tomarry’

Meant to be yours from the heathers musical: I’m so surprised that I don’t see this song that much in tomarry spaces and playlists cause this is like FULLY a tomarry song. Like the full fucking thing. The singer is literally this maniac murderer telling his ex girlfriend that he’s going to kill off everyone except her so that they can be together. The way he sings ‘I was meant to be yours, we were meant to be one’ is so imploring and yet it feels incredibly dangerous to witness even in audio form. This is a tomarry song. I prefer the west end version.

Can’t catch me now by Olivia Rodrigo: this is another ‘the full song. The full song fits’. I think it’s way more harrymort coded than tomarry tbh. This song feels like voldemort won and realised Harry was a horcrux kind of fic. The idea of voldy being haunted by Harry for ages after Harry’s escape/death ( cause honestly, while voldy may grow to feel something towards Harry and stop being abjectly cruel towards him in this au, it would never be anything that would keep Harry there with voldemort or alive in the first place ). Some lyrics that feel extra coded:

There's snow fallin' over the city You thought that it would wash away The bitter taste of my fury And all of the messes you made Yeah, you think that you got away

But I'm in the trees, I'm in the breeze My footsteps on the ground You'll see my face in every place But you can't catch me now Through wading grass, the months will pass You'll feel it all around I'm here, I'm there, I'm everywhere But you can't catch me now No, you can't catch me now

You can't, you can't catch me now I'm comin' like a storm into your town You can't, you can't catch me now I'm higher than the hopes that you brought down

power and control by marina: okay this is kind of tomarry coded but it’s mostly tom riddle coded. This is how I feel he’d view love or anything of the sort in AUs where he weaponises attraction or love for personal gain. There’s this incredibly cinematic part of the song where the singer sings ‘love will always be a human vulnerability, doesn’t mean that I am weak’ but she keeps repeating I am weak again and again until you realise that’s the whole point of the song. Anyone who thinks like this is weak. Tom, despite what he thinks of himself, is a weak man.

Tear in my heart by twenty one pilots: so many sad tomarry songs, this is another birds of a feather kind of song where I feel like this is a happier tomarry in a relationship song, from tom’s pov. It’s not as peaceful as birds of a feather, but there’s this theme in the song of love, wild and bright and almost violent, making the singer feel alive. He never says he loves the person he’s singing about, but you feel it all over. This feels like it’s right before they hit a more peaceful point in their relationship

there’s so many more songs I could rant about but I need to study 😔 I will put in some honorary mentions tho!

don’t blame me by Taylor swift, Mx sinister by idkHOW, the last time by Taylor swift, teeth by 5sos. The last time specifically feels like it was made for ‘what he grows to be’

Very sorry for how ramble-y this whole thing is. I just want to rant about tomarry instead of wrestling with electrostatics.

HIIIII this was such a fun ask to answer <3 thank u. also real i have a fair amount of taylor swift songs in my tomarry playlist too

coney island- REALLLL REAL WAIT. they loved each other so much but in the end tom couldnt give it up, he couldnt stop reaching for power and immortality and he lost harry in the process. EATS.

better man - AAAAHHH so breakup coded for them. i think abt that a lot, that if they broke up it would be soooo so fucking messy

meant to be yours - REAL i have this one in my tomarry playlist. i actually have a lot of heathers songs in there: fight for me, our love is god, meant to be yours, and dead girl walking (reprise). i think dgw is a super tomarry song like "i wish your mom had been stronger/i wish your dad were good/i wish we'd met before they convinced you life is war"???? ate. when will someone make the heathers au we need

cant catch me now - YESSS this is such a tomarry song. theyre so lucy gray coriolanus snow coded.

power and control - OHHH this is good!! i think a lott of marina songs can fit with tom in general but i never rly considered this one. tomarry is very electra heart coded to me tho, i have radioactive and evol in my playlist for them

tear in my heart - AWWW. yeah that is them :)

dont blame me and teeth - YES i have both of these in my playlist. and omg i never finished what he grows to be....i need to its literally like a hallmark of tomarry fics

this was so fun thank u!!! i may or may not post my tomarry playlist one day but here are some songs i think are very them coded:

also good luck w studying!!

[deprivedmusicaljunkie]

K NOW *YOU* HAVE TO RANK MIDNIGHTS. AND 1989. AND LOVER.

ELLIE YOURE KILLING ME. THREE ALBUMS ????

i was born in 1989

new romantics - idk why but this song is soooooo addicting. the way the music sounds should feel annoying to me but it just feels really nostalgic and fun instead (which is kinda how i feel about the whole album).

wonderland - i’m totally biased bc when i heard the lyric about the green eyes i immediately thought of wolflet…

style - love the screambility. love the very unsubtle reference to harry. love the lyric good girl faith and a tight little skirt.

blank space - boyssssss only want love if it’s torture… dontttt say i didn’t SAY I DIDNT WARN YAAAAAAAA (so it’s gonna be forever—)

wildest dreams - i don’t think there’s anything specific i like about this song, but i remember only liking this one on my first 1989 listen.

shake it off - this song is. lowkey pretty good. my anthem in third grade.

i know places - do not like the intro but i do like her riff on hiiiIIIiIiiIiide.

bad blood - will forever associate this song with that concert moment. ykwim

out of the woods - archer vibes. makes me anxious.

clean - iconic but i don’t get how this is some people’s favorite ts song.

i wish you would - it’s. fine

welcome to new york - not my favorite but not bad for an album opener.

this love - the whiplash i get from hearing this song right before i know places??

all you had to do was stay - nope. sorry. i don’t like the high-pitched stay. why is her voice up there.

you are in love - not my jam tbh but it has fairy godmother talking to cinderella vibes.

how you get the girl - F TIER. BOTTOM OF THE LIST. THE LOVE INTEREST IS TOXIC.

you’re my lover

lover - i kinda want to tie it with cruel summer but imo it’s a little better. i love the dreaminess and simplicity and the BRIDGE is just chefs kiss (even though my heart breaks a little whenever i listen to it after seeing a clip of her performing it live after the breakup).

cruel summer - clenches fist with the fact that i will never be able to scream the bridge at an eras concert

the man - WHATS IT LIKE TO BRAG ABOUT RAKING IN DOLLARS AND GETTING BITCHES AND MODELS

london boy - as an immigrant this song to me is about like. finding your home in someone else’s culture. and also kinda exploring your own? idk i am so projecting but this song makes me think of that so that’s why it’s higher up than it should be.

the archer - the BUILDUPPP GIRLY WHERE ARE YOU GOING

death by a thousand cuts - even though it’s a breakup song it still sounds very lovey dovey for some reason?? whatever love the bridge (i keep saying that—).

cornelia street - STOP YOURE LOSING ME

paper rings - AND I WOULDNT MARRY ME EITHER

miss americana and the heartbreak prince - very sweet but i have yet to watch the documentary

afterglow - sorry for ranking this so low but like. is it really that good

false god - i don’t listen to this song very much but the religious imageryyyy.

i think he knows - very sweet but sounds too similar to cornelia street imo so it didn’t really stand out to me. 

you need to calm down - it’s giving supportive white mom at pride.

it’s nice to have a friend - so cute but i wish they actually. stayed friends

daylight - how can i listen to this song normally anymore?

i forgot that you existed - i mostly listen to this song for nostalgias sake but other than that it’s. pretty mid

ME! - despite its low ranking it’s really not as bad as people make it out to be, it’s just that the rest of the songs are too good.

soon you’ll get better - i feel so bad for putting this song at the bottom but. it’s just okay

meet me at midnights

paris - I WANNA BRAINWASH YOU INTO LOVING ME FOREVER

would’ve could’ve should’ve - rips john mayer into pieces

the great war - insert bloody stick man meme

you’re on your own, kid - gut wrenching.

maroon - DO NOT. expect me to listen to what is basically an aged job red and act normally

anti-hero - this song is so funny like wtf 😭

dear reader - this song makes me feel like she’s my mom

question…? - once again in love with the bridge.

sweet nothing - oh, domestic love. oh, humming in the kitchen.

snow on the beach - I LOVE THE MORE LANA DEL RAY VERSION (also on my first listen of this album i remember not liking any of the songs except for this one lmao).

karma - THIS SONG IS ALSO SO FUNNY BUT I LOVE IT. karma is a cat ??? my mom hates this one though.

bejeweled - KNOW YOUR WORTH!! this music video is one of my faves.

high infidelity - taylor is writing too many songs about cheating. they’re all blurring together

vigilante shit - this song is lowkey hilarious like. girly thought she did something

lavender haze - good opener and it sounds cool on a record player.

mastermind - cinder vibes!

midnight rain - yk i never knew that some people thought it was about lautner? that would make sense actually. anyway this song is good but really mid as a title(?) track

bigger than the whole sky - not the best 3 am track

glitch - this is just okay??

labyrinth - sorry ellie i know this was your number one but 🥲

[smoosnoom]

ok so . moon. i Luved all the songs so much !! i think my fave was your love . it was just so good ?? the Sounds were very pleasing to my brain lol. i did already know scary love and its one of my fav the nbhd songs tbh. i only know a few somgs from glass animals (it's all so incredibly loud, the other side of paradise, mama's gun and poplar st) so i will Definitely check out that album tmr or smth <3

and!! i have some song recs for u too (tho im very bad at matching song vibes so its just kinda random soz) :

make up your mind - florence + the machine

safe - all time low (very mike wheeler imo)

avalanche - bring me the horizon

at least i have nothing - saint motel

resilience - pierce the veil (very will byers imo)

oh another will byers coded song ive been obsessed w lately is arsonist's lullaby - hozier, as well as in the woods somewhere .. i've just been obsessed w hozier lately tbh lol

ok thats all or else i will starting listing songs for days lol . me and my 2,013 liked songs on spotify r always open to give recs tho 🫡

ok . after several days of not answering this i am Finally here, sniffly nose and all, answering this 🫡 first of all IMS SOSOOO HAPPY U LIKED THEM 🥳🥳🥳🥳 i did think "your love" was ur vibe so im very glad 2 hear that :D if u ever check out their album let me know all ur thoughts !!!!

ok so . ive been trying to get into flo+the machine, and this song . is so good i loveee her vocals and the instruments building up with it, this and hozier give me very similar vibes !!! i really enjoyed it !!!!

honestly . all time low in General is so mike wheeler core he would so get into a poppunk phase i said what i said . also the idea of everything mike considers safe immediately leaving 🙂 goodbye why would u put this in my head

walk the moon i know very scarcely, but i think i should definitely check them out properly since this is like . their fifth song ive heard and enjoyed !!!! it was very nice, very similar vibes to the other ones ive heard 🥳

same thing with saint motel !!! ive heard a bunch of their songs and i liked this one just as much :D also ive realized u recommend many that have a vibe of just . leaving everything behind and pursuing something else

omg i had a brief ptv phase back in middle school LOL and oh my god ur so right this is so will byers 😭 mj Please . crying

i love love loveee hozier, i think he was top five listened in 2021 LOL he is so . i love his lyricism his music his Everything !!

thank u 4 the recs :)

[lynsburner]

Hi Lyn! I was wondering… in your ‘Verse, would you say Andrew wrote any of his songs for/about Lovely (reader)? If so, what are they, and what was her reaction to them?

And would you be willing to write any more Hozier fics in the future? There’s a terrible lack of them everywhere and yours are soooo good!!!

Hello. This answer is about to be super long. My bus home from work got stuck in a ridiculous amount of traffic. Plus, you got me ruminating on this all day at work (Outside the millions of phone calls I was supposed to make. People responding to an email you sent them? Revolutionary concept if you asked me!) and think I’ve decided firmly on, and hear me out on this, “No Plan.” 

That song to me is about not worrying where things are going to go (The sun’s going to go out! Who gives a shit!) and to not sweat the small stuff. And I guess in this context, it’s about being a little worried about something new, like a relationship that has a lot of shit going against it. It’s about enjoying the little things that you do have. The “I think you’re worth at least trying,” or describing this love as “shiny and new, like a toy to be played with, nervously discovering all the nooks and crannies as time goes on.” 

(Yes, I am quoting myself. I am a very self-centric person. I am sorry)

Also now I’m head cannoning that he texted her: Did you know the sun’s going out? After watching that talk and that’s when she hit him with the I like you. A lot. Too much, actually. What better time to confess your feelings for a dear friend than also getting him out of a doom spiral? 

Anyway, one day she just gets texted an audio file with just “🖤” (the black heart emoji, which I’m sure is just one big Carly Rae Jepsen reference) out of the blue. It’s a messy, unpolished demo. 

And when she doesn’t respond immediately since she’s taking it all in, he texts again: 

Just wanted to know your thoughts on this… 

Andrew… 

Yes…? 

What is this? 

A song. Not sure if you’ve heard of them before. The proper definition is: “a short poem or other set of words set to music or meant to be sung.” 

I hate you. 

I don’t care what you think about me. I only care what you think about the song. 

I love it.  You? Debatable… 

She calls him after that. They have a “Don’t bother me while I’m working,” on that list of rules, (“I wouldn’t ask you to help me with an Excel formula, would I?”) so it’s sort of rare she hears anything before it’s finished on purpose (not every wall can be reinforced with soundproofing material). It’s a special moment. 

Ok. This was a tangent and then some. Thank you for letting me indulge my fantasies lol 

Also, half of me wanted to answer this with “Sunlight” but only because that’s my favorite. But it also can be read as putting too much into something, especially with the entire 3rd verse comparing the love being had to the Icarus story, it almost sounds like it’s bound to end in tragedy (a lot of his songs do tbh I could write about that for days). 

But, I do love the lyric “know that I would gladly be the Icarus to your certainty” so much. Need me someone like that LMFAO. 

Anyway, as for new stuff? I’m currently 3 chapters deep (of 10! and halfway through the last chapter, ironically) with an idea I’ve had for a while now that I’m really excited about. It’s pretty dialogue heavy and is set around a weekly get-together. I just don’t want to post any chapters until I’m finished because then it would never get done. 

I did almost write a threequel (is that the right word?) to the first two stories, but the dialogue was too similar and they fit better in the chaptered idea. That one was about them revisiting a place they took a trip together as friends and why nothing happened between them that first time around (spoiler: Andrew was too high and too drunk to properly process feelings and his idea for them getting together comes off as more of a joke. The next morning he's got no memory of their argument, so back to square one they were!). They were probably going to get engaged at some point. Good for those crazy kids! I wish them the best!

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this way too long of a response, Anon! Have a great night!

[zeero1060]

My Descendants 4 thoughts (spoilers ofc)

Okay so the fact that they could only get Uma and Fairy Godmother back because of Cameron... At least they paid homage to him?

First off, I know she *is* a tyrant, but Fairy Godmother made is sound like Bridget was only a tyrant because she refused to join the USA (United States of Auradon) which like- no? Though to be fair the only thing they show about her actually being a bad ruler is her having a curfew and *almost* executing someone.

Immediately the songs are worse than the origional Trilogy. The music itself is okay but the lyrics are terrible. Credit where it's due the choreo all has the same vibe.

"She's painting our whole world red!" - There's an insane amount of red in Wonderland anyway, and she threw one (1) paintball.

Costuming wise, I like Maddox (even tho he's in two scenes), and Red's first outfit is good, but for the rest of the movie she looks way too one toned. Same with Chloe too, why are both of her parents costumed better than her?? I know it's supposed to be that the young people are "cool" but that's not what Chloe's outfit it giving. I feel like the origionals did a better job at costuming as a whole. Also the colours were way less vibrant, this whole movie is an eyesore.

So like, I know people talk about this a lot, but is the implication here that Chad is adopted, or Charming had two kids with two different women (both named Cinderella and with the same story)? Or is he supposed to be their biological child?

Bridget is English? Right?? So why is she American when she's young???

They're doing this thing that was more present in the 4th movie where they talk through the songs.

Where has "love ain't it" come from?? I thought it would be something Bridget heard from someone in the past but it only ever comes up at the start of the movie so like idk.

Uma loml- "What's My Name" being the actual best song in this whole movie isn't a shock but it does piss me off tbh, like that's a reprise (and slightly worse and shorter version) of a song from two movies ago, and actually I think says something about the quality of this movie.

It feels like it's implied in the beginning of the movie that Ella did the prank? But then she is just completely uninvolved. Like I went through the first time fully believing there was gonna be this big betrayal and then nothing even happened at all.

-This is gay

-Every time Chloe mentions the code of conduct I get secondhand embarrassment

-Fucking love young Ella

-(Second) Best song is whatever Bridget's is called it's so cute

-Why is Morgana's son here? Why is he the only vk who has a villain for a parent?

-Why has Hook got a different accent to Harry?

-ALSO is that the Crow from dead boy detectives?

-Regardless I do like their part of the song the most I think

-They're making out like Bridget has no friends but the only people who are mean to her are the vks shut uppp

-Gay again

-You're telling me Chloe doesn't know the story of Cinderella? That's crazy no way

-I like that Ella's class is actually a part of her character, that it impacts her world view, actions, and morals, it's not something that was just ignored like I'd initially expected

-Gotta say the vks are all well cast

-Every single one of the vks are more evil than Ursula's sister why is there she the main one?

-Ella undercutting fairytale morality with logic and reason? I love her

-Scene where a suit of armour comes to life? Knight Fall

-Why are Red and Chloe opening the book anyway? And if it wouldn't have let the vks open it why are these two even there? How did they do it in the origional timeline to begin with?

-They wanna do another one of these? Please don't peace and love 🫶

Anyways Ella and Bridget carried thank you.

[stellardeer]

Tbh I haven't personally seen any of the people who are saying that they don't like rap because it's violent or because it's about sex and drugs or whatever, but I have seen all the response posts and I absolutely believe those people are out there.

And while I've already reblogged posts that have much better thoughts on it than I do, I feel like some people just need to admit to themselves that they aren't willing to engage with content that isn't relatable to them. Also that they are being super racist and biased about it, but it's ridiculous to write off an entire genre of music for subject matter that is found across literally all genres. Just say "I don't personally connect with this because it is not directed at me" and move on. You don't have to deride the entire genre just because it doesn't resonate with you, personally.

I'll be honest, I like rap, but I don't listen to a lot of it on a regular basis, and the majority of rap in my library is female rappers because they just tend to have things to say that resonate more with me as an AFAB person. I don't listen to a lot of the songs that get played on the radio, but I don't really listen to much of anything that gets played on the radio because the subject matter is usually shallow and generic, especially in pop music. I don't really like music with a lot of bass unless I am specifically wanting to dance or party, if Im just chillin in my home I dont like EDM or pop or anything too flashy. I don't listen to a lot of music (of any genre) that talks about wanting to make a lot of money or stunt on people or whatever because I do not share those goals/feelings. It doesn't mean I think that music is bad or that the people performing it or listening to it are lesser in any way. It doesn't mean I'm gonna say "rap is bad because they just talk about getting money", as if that's the only thing anyone has ever rapped about. Like idk I think it's fine to admit that you prefer certain subject matter in songs because you relate to it more but to say that all rap is violent or sexist so you don't like any of it is literally just racist.

I don't really like Drake because the lyrics that he himself writes and speaks in his songs give me the impression that he views women as something to own and he wants to be the next R Kelly or some shit. The groomer rumors weren't surprising to me in the least, I saw it coming from a mile away. So even though I used to think his songs were good I stopped fuckin with him. I've never heard a Kendrick song that I didn't like though (but I did think it was a little corny that he did a song with Taylor Swift cause I just don't like her 🤷) But like.. the fact that some of yall won't even go listen to their music and form an opinion of your own? The fact yall just hear "rapper" and immediately turn away? "Oh I don't care about this because rap is violent", like for real? You don't even fucking know who they are or what they rap about you, you've just already decided you don't care?

And at the end of the day, yeah, you can say "well not ALL rap is violent, here's such and such song that isnt!" but, again, as others have put it, that's just throwing gangster rap under the bus fr, like there's a reason people listen to it, there's a reason it resonates with its audience, there's a reality to it, it isn't glorification (well, maybe for some rappers it is) but they are literally just talking about their lives. To say "I don't want to listen because it's too violent" is like saying "Sorry I don't want to hear your story because it makes me uncomfortable, you should just keep it to yourself." Yall get how racist that is, right?

[lesbianlenas]

ok i lied i’m going to listen to the rest rn i’m just going to skip thru them a little bc i have to go to bed maybe i will give them a second listen in a few days or smth but anyway.

the black dog: ok hold on perhaps i like this one the way the music went when she said screaming ok…..smth interesting taylor??? this one was pretty good better than most of the songs on the og album lmfao 8/10

imgonnagetyouback: this sounds exactly like some other taylor swift song but it’s not bad it actually like has character to it and is enjoyable to listen to 😩 7/10

the albatross: this song is just ok but what i like abt it vs the songs on the og album that were slower is that she is not doing the breathy vocals and is actually singing w her whole voice so it’s immediately more engaging 6/10

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus: feel similar abt this as i did to the last one. again way better than the slow songs in the original. 6/10

how did it end: i like the use of the piano in this song not a big fan of the song itself but i like the use of a different sound here. otherwise kind of boring 4/10

so high school: oh god she’s doing the breathy voice again 😭 i was like oh an interesting sound? and then the vocals i’m like ok 😩 i just think this sounds like so many of her other songs 5/10

i hate it here: this is ok i might like this better if i listened to it while looking at the lyrics but yeah 4/10

thank you aimee: funny of her to make a kim k diss track so many yrs after the incident lol look what you made me do is vastly superior maybe that’s controversial to say….i do like that this is smth much different lyrically and there is some nice variation in it 7.5/10

i look in people’s windows: ok back to the breathy singing 😔 i skipped thru like this whole song it sounds like so many of the other ones i heard this already 3/10

the prophecy: this is whatever. not very interesting maybe i would like it better if i was reading the lyrics 4/10

cassandra: here’s the thing. cassandra by florence + the machine is one of my favorite songs of all time so the fact that she ft her on the album and then called a song this is immediately going to make me compare them and it isn’t going to compare bc taylor is not on the same level artistically as florence is 😩 yeah this is not cassandra by florence for sure lmfao. i don’t hate it tho it’s nice actually. i feel like she could have done smth more interesting musically w this one tho. 7/10

peter: this sounds like so many other of her songs 😩 like girl you can’t just make so many songs w the same sounds 😭 i like the use of the piano on this one also tho and the bridge is nice and is really good vocally from her 4/10

the bolter: this again sounds like a lot of her other songs but it’s at least p engaging and the bridge and the chorus are nice 6/10

robin: too slow for me but she sounds really good vocally on this one vs the songs where she is very breathy so i like that. also liked the ending. again would be better if i was looking at the lyrics probably. if i was objective i’d probably give this one a higher rating but i’m not 5/10

the manuscript: i like the opening of this w the piano keys….i do not like this lyrically tbh. these lyrics are like why are you reiterating a convo like this. it’s like she’s reading a diary entry to music or smth i just think it’s kind of clunky. despite it being slow if i didn’t dislike the lyrics i would give this a way higher rating i think the music on this one is beautiful. if it was better lyrically i prob would have loved this. 4/10

final thoughts: these songs were way more varied than the original songs i wouldn’t say any of these sounded like another one of these despite several of them sounding like other songs of hers these definitely weren’t like you could splice these all together into one song. i think some of these def should have been on the og album instead. but the same issues from what i said before still stand holistically. anyway goodnight.

[do-notfolow]

My thoughts on Midnights after the first day of listening

I listened to the album 3 times before gathering my thoughts. First, when it came out. I wanted to immediately write my thoughts like I always do, but, honestly, I couldn't process this album. I listened to it again while making breakfast and came to the conclusion this album is perfect to listen to on full volume while moving around and dancing. I finally managed to rank it on the third listen while taking a stroll. It's so different than anything she's ever done, I don't why I'm so shocked by it.

Anyway, here are my thoughts on every track:

1. Lavender Haze

I love that the opening line is "meet me midnight." same vibes as Lover ending "you gotta step into the daylight and let it go" My first thought when hearing it was that it sounds like a Bleachers song (and I'm here for it). On the second listen, I realized this song is very fun to dance to. I get why people said it reminds them of I Think He Knows.

2. Maroon

Taylor showing off her storytelling skills again. No one knows how to paint a mental picture like she does. Really love the way her voice kind of dips in the chorus. My goal for next year would be to sing the chorus without losing my breath. I have more thoughts on this song and I hope to maybe analyse it more and dedicate an entire post to it.

3. Anti Hero

I get why it's the lead single. This is a fantastic song, time to add it to my depression playlist. "When my depression works the graveyard shift, all of the people I've ghosted stand there in the room" WHO WRITES THAT. I have no idea what the second verse means, but I love the chorus and the bridge is hilarious.

4. Snow On The Beach

Sounds very christmas-y. Kind of disappointed that Lana's only doing vocals. It's a grower. I realized on the third listen it's such a Pynch song.

5. You're On Your Own, Kid

THE BRIDGE??? "I hosted parties and starved my body like I'd be saved by a perfect kiss" screaming, crying, throwing up. Top 3 songs in the album.

6. Midnight Rain

I like the lyrics in the chorus but I don't really like that deep, computer-like voice. The rest of the song is great. "He was sunshine, I was midnight rain" love this!

7. Question...?

OUT OF THE WOODS. Okay, I really like this one. I like the story, I like the beat. "Aaand riiiiiighttttt but toniiiiiight." The clapping 💀. I hope she performs it on tour, I think it'll be very fun.

8. Vigliante Shit

"Draw the cat eye, sharp enough to kill a man" what an opening line. She sounds so sexy, god.

9. Bejeweled

Very shiny song. The way she says "baby love"... oh, God. Really love how she goes from "I'm the worst person on earth" to "I will fucking destory your life" to "I'm the hottest thing around" mood tbh.

10. Labryinth

Her voice!!!!!! Kind of obsessed with the way she sings "oh no, I'm falling in love again" her voice is so soothing. "You know how much I hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back just like that" ok, this hurts.

11. Karma

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS!! "Karma is a cat purring on my lap 'cause it loves me" most Taylor lyric I've ever heard. The karma is the happiness she found despite the world trying to tear her down and I'm here for it.

12. Sweet Nothing

I wish I knew what it's like to be loved. I like the opening. "They said the end is near" -> "Hush, I know they said the end is near"

13. Mastermind

"What if I told you I'm a mastermind" we knew that, Taylor. This is the opposite of invisible string. "Fate brought us together 🥰🥰....actually, it didn't. I planned it all with my (very) sexy mind 😈😄" The bridge hurts.

@taylorswift @taylornation

[minwooks-moved]

bieeeeee what do u think of the golcha cb !!! i'm listening to the album now but i just watched the mv and like. youngtaek hello ... 😵‍💫 sdf jdhbg how are u doing !!!!

eriiiiii i’m genuinely losing my minddddd 😭 they sound & look so so so good … still not fully processed them, tbh — like taek’s confidence … bongjae pink….. donghyun high-note….. just the overall line + screen distribution are u kidding me … and as for the songs !! from aura to miracle ….. going to try to coherently word my thoughts for each song but . will do so under the cut as i have .. a Lot to say JDBDDJ — but before that, i also wanna know your thoughts !! !! your feelings about it (esp about producer taek 👀) !! what song have you claimed as yours ??

aura : < She 3 .. she might honestly b my favesies of all their Intros intros u know … the orchestral instrumentals mixed with the digital ones … and sungyoon + joochan … i lov her … she’s so prettie :( really set the mood for replay + just the other sounds the bsides bring !! !! she !! !! !! !!

replay : her !! lyrics !! are so !! fun !! are u kidding … plus the visuals …. plusplus she reminds me of some of their earlier stuff ( like .. their debut mini? and the wish mini in particular i think ) and that’s so :,) plus her line distribution … and the way they play around with everyone’s vocals for the distribution ?? i’m so … i’m so …. bongjae u know …. i’m on my knees JFBFJF — and jibeom….. baeseung…… donghyun…….. i’m crumbling i tell u ….. and jjuntaekmin….. wajoo………… i lov when golcha u know

knocking on my door : bouncebouncebounce !! !! i haven’t looked up the lyrics yet, but … i can just tell they’re so cute :,) such a fun song to have after replay too !! like .. the instrumentals aren’t similar, but it’s still bouncy enough like replay that it’s not like &;?;&;! after it u know .. and their vocals really popped out in this one !! much like what they do in like .. boto & oasis & lady & milky way & breathe 🥺 esp taek’s ?? like ?? even if auto-tuned … sir 🤲🤲

3! 6! 5! : song of my heart … song of my soul .. the immediate click of ‘i lov u so bad’ i felt w/her … the teen boyband song that i didn’t know i needed to heal my heart until i heard it …. the instrumentals are very much more similar to the type of boyband music i was stuck on in middle/high school …. also i need u all to perceive donghyun & joochan & jibeom in it specifically before u perceive anyone else in it NDBFJF — boyband members of heart … Everyone knew the project but that trio … they Knew it … anyways also jjun & taek raps yeah …. Yeah…….. i need a performance for this song or i’ll cry …. really i Will ( i also have ideas w/How they should perform it & what they should wear but i won’t … i won’t go That far rn )

purpose : really starting to think taek wants to make people cry FJFBF — producing the Only ‘it should be on the playlist you listen to when you need a good cry’ song on the album … and also him opening it … :,) it still somehow matching the rest of the album … wh—and it ALSO being the song that’s been in the vault since 2019/2020(?) …. and him not knowing it was even up to be chosen for the album …… makes u wonder what Else from that time is still in the vault that’s like it u know ☹️ and the lyrics ☹️ and the instrumentals being so so prettie …. when i said it was the Only cry song on the album i Meant it …. like take my heart why don’t u … ( also their vocals for each part :((( i lov them so bad :( really knew what parts to give to who … ☹️💖 )

miracle : the opening …. The Opening …… boyband AND bounce …. also the way it Feels like a 180° from purpose … i haven’t looked up the lyrics for her yet either but .. vibes alone makes u feel like u went from lady to spell … 😵‍💫😵‍💫 but that aside …. have u heard jibeom …. have u heard bongjae …. have u heard sungyoon ….. if not i think u should, tbh … ALSO . once again sounds something similar to the wish mini … which is funny considering this is supposed to be a ‘serious’ cb …. whereas wish/genie was Not .. so .. very much a golcha-esque comeback i guess is what i’m really feeling ?? but u know … it’s a really good song to be the last one on the mini because of that, i think. it’s almost like a reset button to listen to aura again 🫶🫶

to sum everything up : 10/10 absolutely adore the mini & i need everyone + their family/friends to listen to it thank u DJFBFJ — feels very og golcha-esque 🥺 v much miss dae tho :,) jjun brought him up & said they talk to him pretty much everyday to the point he’s surprised he’s not sick of them yet JDBDJDB —

but anyways, thank u for asking eri-beloved !! 💖💘🥺 i’m .. again so sorry the paragraphs but .. i hav big incoherent thoughts … please gimme yours 🤲🤲

[blitheringmcgonagall]

My Gallant Lad - Part III

So I got a wonderful anon telling me that this is their favourite Lily Rescues James fics, it’s part of my canon maraders fic  We Can Be Heroes. But, because it works as a stand alone, I’ll be posting it here in four parts. I hope you enjoy it! Set during first wizarding war, Lily is very BAMF (but tbh so is James)

Read part I here : After their worst row ever, Lily and James get captured by Voldemort

Read part II here : James tries to save Lily

TW: angsty and violence

PART III

Lily’s raw voice echoed through the castle walls, a lone, hauntingly beautiful gaelic song. The words indecipherable to any of the Death-Eaters who heard it, yet clearly a lament of some kind. She hadn’t been able to stand it, hearing James’ screams, imagining what was happening to him. And when she couldn’t hear him, dread clawing at her every pore, wondering…

Are you dead, my love? Did they kill you? Please don’t die, I beg you!

Haunted by the silence, almost relieved when his screams returned, because she was selfish and wanted him alive, needing him to be alive… almost immediately replaced by rage and terror and guilt and begging them to leave her husband alone, screaming herself hoarse.

She couldn’t stand it when the sound from the dungeons suddenly stopped – a spell, she was sure.

What did it mean? Was he-

She started to sing. She sang in Irish. Fuck them, no Death-Eater could get inside her head now. She pictured him as she sang, her lively lad, turning around mid-laughter and catching her eyes as he and Sirius poked fun at each other, she saw him saying something ridiculous to Minnie and watching as the strict teacher’s mouth broke into a huge grin despite herself, saw all the Marauders chasing each other and yelling and James landing on top of the others. And always his mischievous, adoring eyes turned to her, searched for her. She saw him propose to her surrounded by fireflies, vividly heard that muggle record, the lyrics bittersweet…

”Yours in the gray of December Here, or on far distant shores I've never loved anyone the way I love you

Yours to the end of life's story”

“No!” her voice faltered. “No! Not today!”

She breathed in sharply, as someone knocked on the door, twice, in abrupt succession. She recognised that trademark sound.

“Severus?” she croaked.

Severus pushed the heavy door slowly, almost reluctantly, now that it came to it. He looked uncharacteristically agitated, his waxy cheeks flushed. Relief swept over him as he looked at Lily. She looked upset but safe. She was shackled to the wall, her hands above her head, tied together. She was trembling and pale. There was no sign of the Cruciatus, or other dark magic.

“Are you alright, Lily?” He said, hurriedly throwing a potent heating charm at her.

“What are you doing here?” Lily’s husky voice surprised him, he hadn’t heard her screaming.

“What happened? Did they hurt you?” Severus said, moving closer to Lily and regarding her anxiously. “They hurt me by hurting him,” she whispered.

Tears tracked down her cheek, and Severus wiped it with his thumb. “I’m so sorry, Lily,” he said, his voice trembling – he was slightly scared of her, and then there was unexpected guilt - guilt about lying, guilt about how James was going to die. “I tried to... I tried...”

He stopped and took a few breaths, looking at the ground.

“I tried to save him, I tried some healing charms and... and I sent the others away. I wasn’t sure what to do, Lily, but then I was called away and Avery had... I was too late, Lily, I’m so sorry.”

He couldn’t look at her.

“No, Sev, please, not James, please,” Lily’s broken whisper made Severus’ heart ache.

“I’m so sorry, I’m... you don’t know how sorry I am,” Severus whispered back. “I’m desperately sorry.”

Lily didn’t say anything, silent tears streaming down her face.

“He... James and I, he spoke to me, he thanked me for trying to save him, before he... he asked me to save you, to get you out of here. I promised him I’d do it. Do you understand Lily?” She was looking at him blankly, through her tears, her mind far away in some distant time or place. “Lily!” Severus whispered urgently. “Lily, he wanted you to be safe! He insisted I save you! He told me a code word - I’ve no idea what he meant, but he said to tell you - Graham’s Number.“ “Graham’s Number,” Lily repeated quietly, as though dazed. “James.” “Yes, James,” Severus said, trying not to sound impatient. “We have to leave now, I promised him I’d get you out of here! Do you understand?”

Lily nodded, still crying.

“My beautiful,” she said. “My gallant lad.”

“Yes, yes,” Severus said, eying the door of the cell. “We need to leave! Now! If Voldemort finds us, we’re both dead!”

Lily stared at him intently. After a few seconds she smiled vaguely.

“I’m so sorry Sev, let’s go, I just... it’s so much to take in, you know? I can never thank you enough, for trying to save him, for being such a noble person?”

Severus squirmed.

“It means everything to me,” she said, her red-rimmed eyes looking into his soul.

“It’s nothing,” he said firmly, refusing to hold eye contact and pointing his wand at the chains. “Frangit!”

The chains broke, and Lily collapsed into Severus’ arms.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “Can you help me? I don’t think I can walk?”

“Of course!” Severus said, feeling a bloom of warmth spread through his chest.

This was what he had longed for, desperately, for as long as he could remember – Lily, holding onto him, needing him, weaker than him, reliant on him, asking him, begging him for his help. He tucked his wand in his pocket and lifted her up, looking lovingly into her stunning eyes. Surely she could also feel the deep attraction between them, the passion sizzling beneath their fingertips?

“Lily,” he murmured, bringing their lips closer.

“Severus?” she said hoarsely.

“I love you, Lily Evans,” he said, holding her closer. “I always have.”

“Your idea of love sickens me, but I’m glad you’re so predictable, Severus.”

Lily’s voice was cold as she stepped back from him in disgust, and he found himself staring at the tip of his own wand.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he said, his heart pounding as he tried to make sense of what was happening.

“Change of plan, Snape!” Lily said. “You don’t get to sweep me away like a lying bastard-“

“Your husband agreed to this! It was his idea!” Severus’ voice rose.

“Gobshites, the pair of you!” Lily said, her voice quivering with rage. “Probably one of the only things you two ever agreed on - that James Potter should sacrifice himself to save me? That James Potter was expendable, that I would cope without him?” Severus dropped his gaze in the face of such fierceness. “You see, I’m not leaving here without James. If he’s dead, and you better hope to fuck he isn’t, I’m still bringing him with me. He means more to me than anyone else, everything else, in the entire world. I’m not leaving my soulmate to rot in this hell!”

Severus looked at her hand with trepidation as she aimed at his chest.

“I was trying to save you, Lily,” he said, stepping away from her.

“Trying to save me for yourself, Severus! Killing my husband was never going to buy you my love!” Lily’s green eyes were incandescent.

“I didn’t… I had no part in it, it was Hugo Avery!” he said.

“No part at all? That’s strange,” Lily sneered. “Because your friend Hugo payed me a lengthy visit which only finished a short while ago, you practically overlapped.”

Snape’s eyes widened with surprise and alarm.

“He wasn’t meant to go near you!” he said.

“He did,” Lily said, shuddering despite herself. “Came in to tell me everything he was planning on doing to my husband, and later on, to me. It took rather a long time.”

“What do you think you’re-“ Severus said in fear, as Lily lifted his wand.

“I’m sorry, Severus,” Lily’s voice was hard and implacable. “Imperio!”

Continue reading BAMF Lily here

Snape’s eyes widened for a split second as the invisible spell hit his chest (so powerful it almost threw him backwards) before they seemed to fade, the fear in them replaced by a dullness.

His hands fell by his side. “Is this castle surrounded by anti-apparition wards?” she asked.

“Yes, and the nearby forest,” Snape answered mechanically.

“Where can we use a portkey?” Lily ordered, poking Snape with her wand.

“From the courtyard in front of the main entrance.”

She hated the strange empty look in his eyes, as though he was unable to think for himself and devoid of any thoughts at all, until commanded by her to do so. She hated it.

“Good,” she said. “Now you will do exactly as I say! You will bring me to the oubliette, and you will help me save my husband if it’s the last thing you do! But first, you will bring me to your potions lab!”

                                                             ********

“Step away from Potter, now! I’m taking over!” Avery’s head jerked upwards in shock as Snape landed with a heavy thud right beside him, closely followed by Lily Evans, who had a glazed look in her eyes.

“She’s under the Imperius,” Snape added, glancing around at the other men.

“Snape?” Avery said, glaring aggressively at the half-blood. “What the fuck are you doing here? You said I could finish him off?”

“Change of plan!” Snape said, sounding furious. “Back the fuck away from him now, or you’re a dead man!”

“What?” said Avery. “Why?”

“The Dark Lord wants to take over torturing Potter and Evans himself, he needs to find out about his missing book. He will be livid if Potter is dead or unable to answer him! I mean murderous.”

Avery looked terrified.

“Fuck! Snape, you said...” Avery whispered hoarsely.

“You fool, you should have thought to check with your Master before you went this far! If I were you, I’d make myself scarce, unless you want to face the Dark Lord’s wrath!” Snape hissed.

Avery had never seen Snape look so imposing, so powerful. He looked like he wanted to obliterate them all.

“Shit! I... but what if he asks who...” Avery stammered.

“I’ll cover for you as best I can, but I suggest you leave until he calms down, unless you want to risk being here when he loses it,” Snape said, looking at Avery as though he detested him.

“Fuck. Okay. Thank you, Cerberus,” Avery said, frantically grabbing his cloak and stepping across James’ body as he latched onto the rope ladder and sped upwards. “Fuck Voldemort, I hate that bastard!”

Nobody answered, aware that Avery was extremely unwise in voicing his feelings about the Dark Lord’s unpredictable behaviours.

“Severus, you moronic shit,” Severus said between his teeth. Mulciber and Rosier snorted, enjoying Snape’s irritation. “You two better help me get Potter looking more presentable and less dead, unless you too want to join Avery and get AK’ed to hell!” Snape whirled around menancingly. The two men looked at him blankly.

“You don’t think the Dark Lord is actually going to forgive Avery, do you, you pathetic fools?” Snape scoffed dangerously. “Throw every healing spell you can think of at this traitor, and I’ll see what I can do for you two imbeciles!” Rosier cleared his throat and looked stunned. Mulciber glared at Snape.

“We hardly did anything!” he said. “You probably did more of the Crucios than we did!”

“I presume you haven’t forgotten that the Dark Lord is an extraordinarily gifted Legilimens?” Snape smiled thinly, sticking the tip of his wand into Mulciber’s abdomen. “He’s going to die of blood loss, not of Crucios, obviously, you fool! Care to tell him yourself the extent of your role in this… shambles?”

Mulciber’s lips thinned and he shook his head.

“Thought as much,” Snape replied smugly. “Mulciber, get me the blood replenishing potion immediately. Rosier, give me a hand here – Vulnera Sanentur over his entire body, Brackium Emendo over his ankles, quickly!”

Rosier nodded his head and started firing healing spells anxiously. Snape did the same, deep in concentration, his wand flying over James’ body. Mulciber reappeared moments later, holding a half-empty bottle of dark red liquid. Snape grabbed it off him wordlessly and carefully placed three drops into James’ mouth, scanning his face anxiously. Blood trickled from James’ right ear.

“Still looks pretty moribund to me,” he muttered to himself, touching James’ hands tenderly.

James’ fingers felt frozen, white, almost blue.

“Perhaps Rosier should come with you?” Mulciber asked, inching backwards towards the rope ladder.

Snape’s lip curled.

“Don’t be pathetic, Rosier is a liability, and far too skinny to be able to lift Potter. I need you with me,” he ordered.

Mulciber opened his mouth.

“The Dark Lord specifically asked that you accompany me,” Snape said. “He said he may need our help in questioning Potter, that’s if he isn’t already dead by the time we get there. We need to hurry!”

Mulciber swallowed.

“Now help me lift Potter, and for fuck’s sake be careful, he’s perilously close to death as it is!” Snape said.

[yeojaa]

so maybe another devil in a new suit drabble 👉👈 maybe jk meeting oc parents or like more interactions w oc and jks parents/sister

[ read devil in a new suit ]

pairing.  jjk x f!reader.  rating.  pg-13.  tags.  mentions of coconut!kook dancing (and the whole reason i wrote this tbh), cute banter, idk.  just a lotta fluff, a lil bit of grinding, y’know.  wc. 2.7k.  beta reader.  none other than @hobi-gif.  i love you always!  author note.  oh look...  it’s me...  posting something...  after sixteen hundred years.  womp womp.  this truthfully didn’t go the way i planned it to but i hope you enjoy regardless!

It really shouldn’t surprise you.  Frankly, it doesn’t.  

But it is a little funny.

There are about six girls gathered in a gaggle around your boyfriend, all desperately vying for his attention as he presents a neatly gathered bouquet to his little sister.  Jisoo’s all smiles, completely over the moon with pride and riding that high as she rightfully should.  (She’d done incredibly well, closed out the showcase with a fluidity you could never even dream of.)  She doesn’t even notice her friends staring at her brother with hearts in their eyes, each one red in the face and not from exertion.

(That, or she doesn’t care.  Maybe she’s grown used to it - the whole having-a-heartthrob-for-a-brother thing.) 

It’s actually quite cute, if only because you know Jungkook doesn’t have eyes for anyone but you.  Can feel it in how he keeps bouncing his gaze back towards you, dimple winking from deep within his cheek each time your eyes meet.  He’s like a child going back to his favourite toy, momentarily distracted by tittering laughter and his sister’s sunny smile but always coming back to you.  The knowledge warms you from the inside out, drags a satisfied smile across your lips.

You wonder whether he notices the attention or if it’s just another part of his life.  (You think he must know.  These college students don’t really hide it well, too handsy for their own good, years of growing up in semi-close proximity instilling a certain confidence in their motions.  That, and because Jungkook is quite possibly the least intimidating person you’ve ever met.)

“Thank you for coming!”  It’s Jisoo, flushed and excitable, round eyes as bright as her brother’s as she crosses to you.  This had been her moment - her time to shine - but you appreciate the effort she makes to include you, finding you within the crowd.  “I was a little nervous but…”  A shrug rolls her narrow shoulders, shakes her dark hair from its loose coil.  

You’d seen her practice before this - watched the long videos she’d regularly send to Jungkook - but seeing her in real life motion was an entire league of its own.  Dancing was her calling, every bit of her made for it.  There was just something lyrical about the way she moved, how her hips rolled, limbs seemingly guided by the rhythm of the music.  A grace you’ve never had, even on your best day.

“You shouldn’t have been.”  You’re beaming right back at her, sisterly reassurance on your tongue.  “You were amazing.” 

Whether she believes you or not - you think she does by how her cheeks grow ten sizes and her eyes are all but swallowed whole by the expression - she’s gracious, accepting the compliment with her blinding smile.  (She really was like Jungkook like that.)  

“You guys should come to a class one day.”  By that, she means a class she helps teach every once in a while.  You’ve heard about it on more than one occasion, seen the choreography posted on Instagram and YouTube.  

Still, you don’t expect that, brows shooting high.  Laughter filters past your teeth, springing off your tongue.  “I am not a dancer and I doubt your brother—”

Now it’s Jisoo’s turn to wear surprise like a neon sign, expression splitting with giggles of her own.  “Wait— have you not seen Kook dance?”  The way she says it is incredulous, Bambi eyes sparkling with what looks like mischief.

“No?”

“Your sister told me something.”

You’ve never seen this particular brand of worry on his face, eyes even more comically wide than usual, whatever words he’d originally meant to speak dying on his tongue.  He looks like a literal deer caught in the headlights, one of his nicknames suddenly very apt.

“What did she say?  She likes to embarrass me.”  True.  Jisoo and Jungkook had a textbook sibling relationship, full of teasing and mockery and copious amounts of love.  “Whatever she said, don’t believe—”

“She said you used to dance.”

“Oh.”  Oh?  You hadn’t expected Jungkook to deflate so easily, relief flooding his features.  “Yeah, I did.  In university.”  He’s utterly unbothered by this knowledge, attention back on the soondubu jjigae he’d been shovelling into his mouth.  “I had some friends who were dancers, so it was good exercise.”

“I want to see.”  

His answer is immediate, despite the heaping bite of rice and stew in his mouth.  “No.”

You whack him across the shoulder, startling him into clattering his spoon on the countertop.  It leaves a messy red streak across marble but you’re dragging his attention back to you with a firm glare, fingers cradled under his jaw.  “I want to see.”

Talent apparently runs in the family, you realise halfway through the third video.  Jungkook moves with the same assured movements his sister does, with power and grace and a confidence that frankly baffles you.  He treats the practice room like a stage, running through the motions so fluidly you almost have trouble believing it’s your man on the screen.  (Not that he’s particularly ungraceful.  It’s just surprising, like watching a dog walk on its hind legs.)

“So, what happened?”  You say it so conversationally, innocently, with eyes that mimic his own.  From the corner of your periphery, your boyfriend shifts, hand flexing over your knee.  There’s the furrow between his brows, the subtle tension in his jaw.  Worry.

“What do you mean?”  

Your own hand waves toward the screen, where the image of Jungkook from over half a decade ago sits paused.  “You were so…”  You’re not sure what you mean.  There are just so many options to describe the literal baby boy on the television.  Young?  Confident?  Round?  (You can’t get over his haircut, though you suppose you can’t hold it against him.) 

Jungkook simply stares at you, waiting for you to find whatever words you want to use.  Despite the uncertainty that swims somewhere in the depths of his eyes, he’s endlessly patient.  Always so soft when it comes to you.

“You had a coconut head.”

Laughter explodes off his tongue, entire face screwing up with amusement.  “Are you serious?”

“You did!”  Admittedly, the cut had somehow worked on him but it’s so reminiscent of grade school haircuts you can’t help but focus on it, too distracted by the glossy sheen to offer much else.  “I guess I get it, though.”

“What do you mean?  Everyone had that haircut—”

“In first grade, maybe.”  He sticks his tongue out at you then;  you scowl in response. 

“What do you get?”  As always, he’s perceptive, immediately aware of your carefully knit brow, the thoughtfulness that fits itself around your teeth like gleaming white veneers and holds his attention hostage.  He’s grown used to it over the months you’ve been together - knows you cling tight to things with an iron grip, turn them over and over until you’ve made sense of it in that brain of yours. 

“The crushes.”  You look affronted, almost appalled at the realisation.  He bursts out laughing, broad palm coming down upon your bare leg in a smack.  (He apologises profusely when you complain.)

“What’re you talking about?”

Your nose is wrinkled, velvet strands dislodged by the shake of your head.  “All your sister’s friends.  They’re in love with you.”  Jisoo had even agreed, laughed about it when you’d commented on it at the recital.  Something about them having grown up with Jungkook, obsessed with the image they’d retained of him since university.  “But you were a coconut.  You wore Timberlands and drop-crotch pants.  You weren’t even that cute.”  An exaggerated shudder slips over your shoulders.  

“I was nineteen.”  As if that makes it better.  Your judgment doesn’t lessen, the lines running the bridge of your nose only deepening.  

“Still.  Embarrassing.”

Your boyfriend truly is the best sport, rolling his eyes at you in the same instance he reaches for you, tugs you closer with broad palms, affection searing into your skin.  “Well, luckily, no more Timbs.  No more bowl cut.”  He nuzzles into the warmth of your neck, spreads your knees wide over his hips.  The sound of his laughter melts into your throat, dresses it in heat deposited by your breath.  “Are you jealous again?”

He doesn’t even get a verbal response to that.  Just a heavy glare and two hands squishing his cheeks.  “Absolutely not.” 

It comes up again in bed, your head on his chest, his hands on your hips.  He asks it quietly, conversationally, with a twinkle in his eye that makes you want to smother him with one of his many pillows. 

“You’re sure you’re not jealous?”

“I’m not,”  you grit, paired with a roll of your eyes and a little snort from your nose.  You really aren’t.  Those girls are inconsequential, irrelevant.  They’ll never amount to what you are to him and that’s just a simple fact.  He’s yours - something he reminds you of day in and day out, both verbally and in action. 

(You love him for it, appreciate it more than you can possibly begin to explain.  There’s a certain bliss to be found in the knowledge that you’re loved.  A warmth that rivals even that of the sun on the summer’s hottest day.) 

“Then why’re you pouting?”  What he really means is why aren’t you smiling.  You don’t pout often - at least not in the same ways he does.  

“I’m not,”  you repeat for what feels like the sixth time. 

“Smile for me.”

You do the opposite - throwing your eyes in an exaggerated circle.  It earns you a pinch to the side, a tender sting blooming beneath ink-strewn fingers. 

“Really—“  When he looks this earnest, it’s hard to deny him,  “you’re sure everything’s okay?”

At most, you can sigh perhaps overdramatically.  Fold your awkward limbs upon his and bury your face into the crook of his neck.  You’re not jealous of those girls, no.   

You’re envious of his talent - the simple fact that Jeon Jungkook is, by all definitions, a golden boy.  God’s favourite, with his heart wrenching smile and easygoing charm and grace that seems almost surreal.  There’s not a single thing wrong with him - okay, except for his bad habit of never answering his phone and always messing up the top sheet and the fact that he absolutely never ever puts the cap back on the toothpaste tube - and it’s absurd.  Utterly, absolutely unfair. 

But you can’t say that.

“Baby,”  he hums, threading the sound of his voice among your hair, tucking the soft syllables behind your ears.  “Talk to me.”

You relent - a little.  “You’re too good.”

“Too good?”  The depth of his laughter rumbles your bones, tickling your insides when it vibrates out of his chest.  “At what?”

A hand gesticulates wildly.  You’re not sure what it looks like, how close it is to hitting Jungkook in the face.  You’ve still got your face pressed to the warmth of his skin, greedily siphoning his sunny radiance with your cheek.   “Everything.”

Despite how he laughs - cackles, really, so adorable and high pitched it’s breathy - you know he knows what you’re talking about.  You’ve given him a hard time about it before.  

“I’m not good at everything, ____.”

He’s somehow even good at making you believe you’re wrong.  That’s a feat in and of itself. 

“Are too.”

“Are not.”

“Whatever!”  Whether he acknowledges it or not, he’s stupidly gifted.  Everyone and their - even his - mom knows it.  “Don’t believe me then.  I don’t care.”

“Then why’re you making that face?”  It’s almost comical that he’s calling you out for your expressions when he’s the king of funny faces, throwing his features into exaggerated (and adorable) masks.  (Maybe he’d just rubbed off on you?)

“I’m not,”  you huff, exasperated but not quite.  Still soft over his skin, velvet on silk. 

“You’re so cute.”  Sometimes, you think he really is just a child - too happy with putting you on a pedestal and praying at your altar.  Devoting himself to you when you’re nothing but a bag of flesh and bone, dressed in designer fashion and wrapped up with a satin ribbon made from sarcasm and candor.  (Not that you mind.  Who would argue if they were offered such love?)  “I still think something’s wrong but…”

It’s a smart tactic.  He doesn’t press you for an answer, opting to let it linger between you.  Settle like bothersome lint until you offer it yourself.  

When you relent - because you always do, unable to shut out the sunshine that practically pours out of him - you’re quieter.  Not shy, but bashful.  Uncertain in a way you very rarely are.  “I’ve always wanted to dance.”  So much so, you’d begged your parents to enroll you when you were younger.  Demanded lessons upon lessons - only to fail at all of them.  Rhythm simply didn’t exist anywhere in your body. 

“Really?”

You’re pulled from your safe haven, shifted until your entire point of view is filled with Jungkook, his starry eyes and his fluffy fluffy hair.  There’s that look he sometimes gets - full of wonder and adoration - when he learns something new about you.  As if just the smallest tidbit of knowledge opens up a whole new world.  

“Yes?”  You’re half regretting the admission.  He looks like he’s up to something, all the cogs in his head turning in perfect tandem. 

“I’ll teach you.”  

“Hard pass.”

Like a hot air balloon, he deflates, mouth rounding sweetly.  (If you didn’t know better, you’d assume the man was made of cotton candy, semi-sweet chocolate heart where the real organ should be.)  “Why not?”

“I do not dance.”  It’s nothing but a statement of fact, firm and unyielding. 

The pout evolves, swings down into a frown that drags his eyebrows with it.  “You could dance.”

“No, baby—“  So you’re a little frustrated, all your childhood memories pricking beneath your skin.  “I do not dance.”

“Why?”  He’s upright now, tugging you with him as if you weigh nothing.  His way of turning the conversation serious, pulling you from the warmth and comfort of the bedsheets to this.  (He’s still holding you, hooking his big broad hands over your hips, so you don’t mind.) 

“No rhythm.”  Unable to keep a beat.  Two left feet.  The list could go on and on, according to your ballet instructor. 

“Not true.”

Your brow quirks, mirrored by his as if in challenge.  You almost swat at him - so close your hand twitches on his shoulder.  “Very true.”

(Why does this conversation feel so familiar?  It’s déjà vu.) 

“Is not.”  Your boyfriend seems insistent, as if he knows better than you.  (He doesn’t.)  Stares up at you with those pretty eyes and has the audacity to grin when you roll your own, ready to rebuff him. 

Because you’re in bed, the one place where you defer to him whether you like it or not. 

(You do like it, though.  Love it, in fact.  Just like you love him.)

“You’re graceful,”  he hums, bridging the gap between you with a forward roll of his shoulders.  “You’ve got rhythm.”  The hand on your hip grows firm, guides your knees to spread wide on either side of him.  With each brush of his lips - tender little brushes, endlessly sweet and reassuring - he pushes and pulls, dragging you across his lap.  “You can do anything you want.”

You’ve almost forgotten the topic of conversation, preoccupied by how he guides you in languid circles.  How the cotton of his boxer briefs feels against the sensitive inside of your thighs.  The weight that grows between your legs and nudges indelicately against the soft fabric of your thong.

All part of his plan, of course.

“Your body’s the most beautiful thing in the world, ____.”  

When he looks at you like this, you think he might be right.  You’d believe it if he kept saying it, sparking desire through your limbs until they’re jellied and loose.  

(How he sees right through you - cuts straight to the core of your insecurity - you’re not sure.  It feels almost like a superpower, something unquantifiable, unbelievable.  He’s too good for you, always.  So kind and loving, pressing his belief in the form of his mouth, the tender edge of his teeth when he kisses you slow slow slow.)

“You’re perfect just the way you are.”

[buddiewho]

I was bored this weekend so I rewatched season 4a. Spoilers ahead. 

Honestly, I don't think things get popping until episode 3 [but weren’t actually nearly that great until the last 3 episodes tbh] and I am not even being Buddie biased or Buckley-Diaz family unit biased [this might be a bold face lie, but on second rewatch, I noticed I was paying more attention to everything else as well]. 4x03 is just a really good episode. Good old emergencies, mixed in with Eddie's paranoia over Hildy. Then from there it's Buck Begins and the whole Buckley family secret. Then of course, I feel like when we get to Jinx that starts some kind of path. The universe path, you know? There Goes the Neighborhood also continues on this path. Buck is still trying to work through some stuff; a terrible date, the bit about SAFE SPACES. Then Breaking Point. Everyone has one right? Even Christopher and getting angry or as Buck put it “ I heard you blew up at your Dad” and that’s not over yet though. Taylor needing a friend. Nearly Buck reaching one, but he managed to repair it. Eddie for the sole fact Christopher runs away. Hen and Karen actually not having a breaking point until... Chim and Maddie breaking and repairing it in regards to how Baby Mango arrives in this world. Athena and Bobby just being parents to everyone as usual. 

Fun fact. Breaking Point was on as I typed this and it's the one on one scene between Buck and Chris. "I don't want to miss anyone else," Christopher says after he names all the other people he misses first. Buck is probably also telling himself, don't make it about you Buck, this isn't about you, but you are going to promise, "I'm not going anywhere." The last three episodes (Jinx, There Goes the Neighborhood, and Breaking Point) were like some kind National Treasure bullshit; *Nicolas Cage voice* "The secret lies with Charlotte." "Paul Revere went by horse and it was two lanterns not one" or some bullcrap that movie talked about (not going to lie, I once thought it was comedic), but I just mean the overall premise of National Treasure being about secrets or coded messages and a Treasure Hunt (which if I'm correct is also a name of a potential 911 episode...?)

Can I backtrack a moment to 4x07? You know the awkward double date that Buck invited Taylor to? Buck is sitting awkwardly in that chair, wondering about his life choices and little bit of a song played. The lyrics, "There's someone else for you." Just that bit of the song, for the record and I don't think it was already playing in the previous scene to end so coincidentally over Buck’s face?

I'm also not over Taylor talking about looking for a miracle in which Buck gave to her and Eddie also called Buck a miracle worker.

Okay, the end of Breaking Point: Ana comes over to the house, like some awkward new beginning parallel to Madney being cute as they prepare for Baby Mango. Buck patches things with Albert. Then the not so happy crescendo/breaking point for Hen and Karen. Adopting Nia may not happen.

It's really coded like a treasure hunt and if there's an episode named that, well, that'll be hilarious. I'm forever going to hang onto Future Tense as a way of showing us the future, Buck and Eddie have yet to realize. So when they do realize it, it'll be soo damn good. So if the presumed treasure hunt the universe sends the boys on (with everyone else on their own kind)- but if Buddie doesn’t end with them figuring out what connects them and how they want to be connected...like if they don’t meet in the middle at the X marks the spot (or the universe tether aka Christopher) then I really am just creating this treasure hunt out of thin air and it doesn’t exist like the Dad profusely told Nic Cage’s character in National Treasure...or maybe it’s also like PLAYING DETECTIVES? Cagney and Lacey inspired True Crime podcast brought to you by Buck and Eddie two LAFD firefighters and best friends occasionally featuring their Captain of the 118; plus Bobby’s friend Michael and his partner David who reluctantly participates in these shenanigans but could provide key medical evidence/research. In my mind, they read [mostly Buck and Eddie] their cases/script for this made up podcast as 1940s detectives. Smoky voice Buck: “It’s a locked room mystery.” *1940s detective music* Smoky voice Eddie: “Correction. It’s a locked yard mystery...” Anyway...

Did I mention the clowns to ya'll? We didn't forget abut those clowns did we (Jinx might actually be my fav episode of the season after FUTURE TENSE). The clowns are so pointedly shot after Eddie mentions Ana to Buck. Okay. Then there's also the love languages thing. That's a book Buck’s therapist would've recommended right now or for some reason he’s choosing to read it? As we can see, I think the show might be reeling it back in for Buck. As Eddie put it "I don't know what inspired this software upgrade." Coincidentally, Buck 3.0 is looking to the FUTURE. Anyway, the love languages. NO one immediately thinks about the coffee machine prank. Absolutely no one so I won't even make that a thing, but I notice in that scene Buck "outs" Eddie by telling the team about Ana.

Hen: Ana who?... Is this the one you yelled at? Eddie: I apologized for that. Chim: Yeah okay and you still didn't ask her out? Eddie: She's Christopher's teacher. Bobby: I thought you said she got a new job. Buck: *crickets*

What's the intention behind Buck bursting this supposed secret and then not have him encourage Eddie? Like in his way, Buck could’ve said well, does she do this or that? Words of affirmation? Gift giving? Are yours and her love languages truly compatible? Oh, wait, there’s implications behind the book Buck is reading but also...there's implications behind Chim and Bobby's statements. They're implying okay so go for it. Neither Hen or Buck really do that. Why don’t we have Hen jumping on the encouragement train either? Instead she brings it back to that one unfortunate moment any of them really remembers of Ana... Hmm, it's secrets and coded messages and the one thing that Buck has said from this entire season that truly resonates with me:

Buck (directed to Eddie): The universe is screaming at you and it's like you're not even listening.

Irony is. Neither is he.

Oh wait, another line that resonates with me (and I made a recent post with it too):

Bobby (directed to Eddie): They're so focused on what they don't have that they might miss out on the chance to have something else, something real.

Something real. 

You really want me to think this line is about Ana Flores, even if Eddie thinks it somewhat is? And the foundation of it is to encourage Eddie to think about moving on, to stop being so STUCK (2x04 anyone?). If it really is about Ana then we're actually painting Bobby as the character who has no idea...? None whatsoever as to HOW CLOSE Buck and Eddie could be, if that's what they wanted. Seems fake, but okay. Bobby's line actually should highlight that they both are looking in the opposite direction when in fact the SOMETHING REAL is right in front of their faces. The something real is what Eddie came home to after his supposed date.

Just saying because to me it looks Buck and Eddie are still looking in and RUSHING INTO the PAST TENSE and have yet to understand the FUTURE TENSE. 

[4dtk]

stuck with you

pairing: enemy!journalist!haechan x journalist!reader

genre: angst, fluff, humour, enemies to lovers (hope i did the trope justice tbh TT)

warnings: cursing, f words lmao, i mention stranger things a lot in this??? mainly bc i just finished watching it w a friend. i also only use ‘haechan’ when narrating the story so i don’t get confused! the timeline for this is Very Weird as well bc like i didn’t consider how long a pandemic would last…… so Uhm. pls just excuse the weird ass time sequence. also referenced yangyang’s bastard child behaviour from dream plan where he packs his things messily and kun had to mf intervene and yangyang had the audacity to go like “see, this is how u get ppl to pack for you, now i don’t have to do anything” 💀

word count: 8k (a headache to proofread...)

A/N: first time trying an e2l trope and im not sure if it was done ok??? i didn't want it to feel too rushed so i tried to spread out the days as much as i could!! i also included small snippets of their life w the other so it won’t seem like the fic is just focusing on the e2l concept! was inspired tons by the lyrics of stuck with u by ariana grande and jb, so that song is definitely something you can listen to if you read this! hope you enjoy ^^

[day 1]

"you're insufferable," you groan, reluctantly handing over the remote control for the hotel's television after some unsuccessful scrolling.

hotels never exactly had much range anyway. 

you were very much already dreading the time ahead with the male, sadly having been stuck in quarantine not even half a day with haechan. 

offering to go to a neighbouring country to report on the rising covid-19 situation, you didn't expect your rival to tag along, no doubt seeking to craft up a better story than you would.

and so, you were now nudging the remote control into his waiting palm with a roll of your eyes. you hoped it emphasised your annoyance with him even a little, standing up to prepare a cup of tea before bed. 

"are you going to keep watching television while i sleep?" you ask a genuine question, peeking at him through the mirror of the vanity that sat outside the bathroom.

he just shrugs with a tired sigh, turning his attention back to the cartoon playing in front of him. 

"okay, well, keep to your side of the bed and i'll stay in mine. we need to be social distancing, anyway."

there's a hint of "okay, loser" mumbled under his breath, but you pay it no thought as you finish your tea and brush your teeth before you skillfully set up a fortress made out of pillows.

"ow! what the hell?" 

"your leg was in the way, jeez! move it, and i'll stop annoying you," you said, putting up the last of your requested pillows beside where haechan currently sat. 

taking one last glance at haechan, you wondered when the lockdown in your country would last before they start letting people fly in. for now, you were trapped with the nightmare himself in a sad hotel room, with only a bed to share.

"goodnight," he tells you, but the sardonic way he says it irks you to the point where you settle for silence instead. the only thing that drones on are the voices of the cartoon, soon fading as you feel into a dreamless sleep.

[day 4]

"this virus thing is probably driving me insane by day, and you, lee haechan, are adding on to it!"

"no headlines, no idea what style to write in, minimal pictures-" the doorbell to the hotel room interrupts your current rant, prompting you to storm off to answer the call with an annoyed look. 

"what now?" taken aback by your quick response, the housekeeping girl retracts with downturned eyebrows and a voice hesitant to speak. your roommate comes to the rescue almost immediately when he's heard the commotion.

you watch as he sends her a smile and a wink, deflating when he's let her in to clean up the room. you're not sure why you can't keep your eyes off the both of them as they converse, blaming it mostly on your hatred for the male.

with the last of her duties fulfilled, you offer to help her with the cleaning supplies as an apology, but she cuts you off almost immediately. there's a linger in her step, however, as she walks the short hallway to the door, evident in wanting haechan to send her off as he received her.

turning back to call him, he holds up a hand as he types down his opening lines to an article, prompting you to shoot the housekeeper girl another apologetic look.

"sorry again," you mumble, letting out a sigh at how this was all playing out. day four and you were already making enemies with the hotel crew.

"maybe day forty-one is where i fall in love with lee haechan," you scoffed, perhaps listing down all the unfortunate things that could happen while you were in quarantine.

one of them was catching feelings for your rival.

rolling your eyes, you settled on the bed to catch a few Zs as he continued to work on his article, though you weren't exactly sure about the weight your words held.

[day 9]

"haechan, what is this?" you ask with an eyebrow raised, his dirty boxers barely hanging off your finger. 

haechan only groans at that, knowing you were relentless in the laundry. even in a pandemic, he was sure you'd prioritise your clothes first.

"jesus! don't go picking up my underwear just like that!" he snatches it from you, folding it neatly and placing it next to where his luggage sat. unfortunately, yours was right beside his. 

"you think just because you're doing the laundry you're able to look through a man's prized possessions-!"

your jaw drops, "it was near the sink, haechan! i don't want to look at the checkered pattern on your boxers when i brush my teeth. i don't want it near my face either." 

haechan groans yet again, running a hand through his hair in frustration before turning back to the computer, a blank document opened up in front of him.

despite gathering findings, interviewing healthcare workers and serving the public alongside frontline staff, he had deleted every attempt at writing.

there's a rumble from the bathroom, perhaps from your upset stomach or the choked pipe, but sometimes they sounded too similar he couldn't tell it apart. haechan stifles a laugh when there's a "fuck!" echoing behind the door, though unsure if he should help you or not.

when haechan hears another crash, he comes running without hesitation with a face morphed into furrowed eyebrows and a tilt of the head.

"don't just stand there, you moron!" 

haechan snaps out of his daze to assist you off the floor, swiftly helping you even more off the floor as he carries you to the bed with a stiff one arm. you notice his other hand hanging awkwardly, probably not knowing what to do with it before you feel the soft sheets under your butt.

he gets to work within a minute, fishing for an ointment and some bandages his mother forced him to bring. he remembers it as he always has: a caring mother looking out for her son, maybe a little too much sometimes. 

haechan is thankful for his mother, now, for the stray bandages laying around in his pouch.

you watch in silence as he cleans the cut with alcohol, wincing when his hand hadn't even touched your skin.

"my hand isn't even on your skin yet! jeez, calm down." 

you shake your head, holding onto his bicep to halt his arm, "just use water, please."

exhaling in exasperation, you wonder if you've pissed him off tenfold when he leaves for the bathroom with a side-eyed glance, though not hostile.

"problematic," haechan whispers, dabbing a wet cloth over the wound carefully before applying the ointment and securing the bandages. 

"your words contradict your actions so much, haechan. i never know what you're thinking." sighing, you pull your leg away from his hold after he's done with the bandages, making your way to the bathroom and leaving him in his thoughts.

"why do you want to know?"

haechan gets silence; the lock of the bathroom audibly turns to signal another wall put up between the two of you. with another frustrated groan, the boy plops down on the chair to work on his article with the right words forming in his mind.

even if he was the one who asked, he wasn't sure if he was ready to tell you.

[day 13]

"stranger things is freaking me the fuck out, man!" haechan whispered, ignoring your pleads and groans to continue writing. 

"haechan! give me the damn laptop! i don't even know why you brought an HDMI cable when it doesn't work with the television system here!"

"well, we got one that matches it, didn't we?" he said, eyes peeled to the screen that showed the young boy, will, in the upside-down.

"you mean you did!" you shoved him, ready to disconnect the devices before haechan held you back, clearly entranced by the next sequence of eleven being able to see will in a pool of salt. 

"ugh, god, i don't even know why people watch the show!" you spill with sourness, knowing the show was praised for its excellent acting and writing.

haechan raises an eyebrow, turning to you with a strangely slow speed. 

"stranger things have received multiple awards, and you didn't give any other reason. are you scared?"

when you struggle to find words, haechan laughs at his revelation, hiding his pearly whites behind his hand as he continues to make fun of you.

"yeah yeah, i'm scared! so what?" 

"'oh haechan! oh no~ i'm terrified, would you care to provide some comfort?' jeez, don't worry, man, i'll protect you." there's a cheeky glimmer in his eyes and a cocky smirk on his face which you very much want to wipe off with the disinfectant in the toilet.

"it's not all that bad, c'mon! give it a-" turning back to the tv, the sudden attack of the demogorgon lashing out at the camera has the male screaming, hiding behind your body in fear.

"you were saying, mr superman?" you deadpan, unlatching his arms around your waist as you sink deeper into the sheets with your phone in hand.

[day 17]

haechan thrashes in his sleep, almost knocking the wine glass you had in your hands when he crosses over the pillow barrier you made. 

"what in the hell-" you winced, keeping an eye on the male should he have any more outbursts that would ruin both wine night and the stuff you were working on for the article. 

with tipsy hands, your keyboard keys unconsciously write out a letter of disdain and confusion regarding haechan, the boy sleeping next to you with a cute drooling face and curly hair.

with beautiful tan skin like that, you wondered why he didn't model instead. with a voice as impressive as his, you wondered why he didn't sign a contract. with natural hosting capabilities, you wondered why didn't fucking get the place of a talk show host. 

because man, he can get pretty bothersome sometimes.

[day 20]

the next few days pass by with a breeze.

despite not knowing how the current pandemic will turn out, you find haechan more bearable, his habits being dumped in the past with a wave of a hand.

petty arguments occur, of course, until one of you brushes off the matter like nothing.

today was one of the days you won't back down.

there's worry evident on your face, eyes scanning through every last document on the stupid laptop. fingers travel fast over the keyboard as the realisation slowly dawns on you. 

with slumped shoulders, you take a deep breath before turning to the male.

"what do you mean you accidentally deleted my article? i know we're sharing the damn laptop, but we established that you stay on your files and i stay on mine."

the other waved his hand, "i did not touch any of your files, (y/n), i'm not sure what happened."

"how could you not know? what the hell? i had good content on it, but now i have to spend more hours reorganising the news and interview answers and everything else in my notes. thanks, lee haechan."

"maybe if you weren't so caught up in me trying to sabotage your place in the publication team, then you would've believed me." he shrugged, taking a seat on the one bed like nothing.

you scoffed, arms crossing across your body. "funny how you mention sabotage because a villain never reveals their motive. that's why you came with me, didn't you?"

haechan stuck his tongue out to the side of his mouth, eyes blinking and rolling like an 8-ball that it sickened you to the core.

"villain? i'm the villain?"

"was i not clear?" you hiss, stepping closer to the male.

"no, make it more precise, please. i wanna hear it word for word. spit it out, coward."

with every word, you plunged your finger into his chest, looking deep into his eyes. "you're set out to take my place for department editor, where you know i'm best at."

"and that department would be...?" he crossed his arms, looking down at you with scorn you wished you could slap off his face.

"the..." you gulp with his face all up in yours, eyes boring as he awaits your answer, no doubt losing confidence at your realisation.

"the world depart...ment? you love to travel, right?" you trail off, biting your lip in anxiety when you remember how he was on the plane. you don't exactly remember whether he was more excited or scared.

"wrong! try again."

"politics?" you propose.

haechan's face contorts into disbelief, with his mouth twisted with perplex and eyebrows furrowed. "me? politics?"

your mouth runs dry at the roadblock you've faced, and as that annoying, stupid smirk grows, your hatred for him increases by the charts.

"naming departments i'd rather die than join, running your mouth, accusing me of deleting your files..." haechan shakes his head dramatically, rolling his eyes and letting out a fat sigh.

"you think i wanna be stuck here with your infuriating ass? god, you're so entitled, aren't you? aren't you?!"

"talking like you own the place, talking like you're the only one in this world, talking like- mhfh-"

within three angry steps, you were across the room.

within three booming steps, your hands were on his face.

within three significant steps, you were kissing lee haechan.

"you never learn to shu..." with horror, you're brought back from the trance with widened eyes.

"oh, god, sorry. what. what the hell. what the fuck?" you whisper, pushing the boy away with both hands in a panic, trying to highlight your scorn for him by wiping your lips on your sleeve.

had you liked it?

the other scurried to the balcony in a frenzy while you collected yourself in the bathroom, although no amount of water could calm your nerves. 

with shaky words in bed, you both agreed to never talk about it again.

[day 25]

"hey, i can see your damn annotations on my article, (y/n). will you stop it?" haechan whines, making you second guess if he was joking or not.

for the nth time that day, you roll your eyes and proceed to sip from your cup of gin tonic that haechan desperately wanted you to try. it was... a refreshing taste, but hell, you wouldn't drink this even if it was the last beverage on earth.

"i'm just giving my feedback, be thankful i didn't bring up that stupid kiss five days ago. bleugh." 

haechan falls quiet at that, fingers lingering over the keyboard as he typed out some note with the speed of a sloth's. 

"hey, call me donghyuck. that's my actual name," he mumbles, glancing at you through his bangs while he awaits your reply.

"donghyuck? is haechan an alias?"

the boy shrugs, "i don't know, maybe. my friends gave it to me when i was younger, and i just stuck with it."

"full sun? your friend gave it to you, sure." you grin with a gesture of your hand, almost spilling the gin in the clear glass before breaking into small laughter with the other.

[day 28]

"hey! hey, what the hell?" you whisper, feeling the boy huddle up to you in lightning speed. 

"what is wrong with you?" you whisper-shout, nudging him off your body as his phone screen remains as the only thing illuminating his face.

"sorry, i- i was watching stranger things while i was shitting and after i cleaned up... i heard something and bolted out of there."

"so now you're butt naked? hyuck, ew!" you groan, thankful for the sheets that were covering your body and his junk. his reluctance to get off you didn't seem to bother you as much as earlier, but you still wished he wasn't literally naked against you.

"go put on your underwear, you big baby. i'll be here when you come out. no demogorgon is going to come out, for real."

"no no, i was watching season two and it was that big shadow thingy that freaked me out. can't you feel this poor boy shivering?" haechan sighed, eyes never leaving the corridor that led to the bathroom.

"i can, and i also can feel your dick. please get dressed, or you're sleeping on the floor," you mumble, pulling the sheets to cover your freezing body.

[day 31] 

your face hits something soft, cuddling into it even further because of its warmth before you realise there was only one other thing that would be warm in the room.

haechan.

your breath shakes, and your eyes widen as you pull yourself away from his embrace. your subtle movement leaves him thrashing around, though, and his arms tighten around your figure slowly and endearingly.

gulping, you will your hands to stay in their place, opting to freeze to death although there are hints of heat crawling onto your face.

when you wake up, you find that his hand's in yours and maybe you were searching for one wrong thing. an anomaly, an exception. it fit in yours perfectly, however, his tanned skin glowing lightly under the rays of sun filtering through the curtains.

you hoped he didn't realise the small shift of your fingers as they enclosed around his hand.

[day 32]

"what are you doing out here?" haechan asked quietly, peeking around the sliding door before joining you on the chilly balcony. it wasn't much, but it was still different and refreshing from the old, stagnant aircon air that was blowing in the hotel room.

"can't sleep," you whisper. you had your arms around your figure cautiously, as if it could protect you from all the bad, evil and terror in the world. at this point, you weren't sure what was it that you were feeling, but it sure didn't involve entertaining haechan's teasing. 

luckily, he bit his tongue from making the usual snarky remarks.

"it's two in the morning, what's up?" 

you shake your head in reply, watching the empty streets as the last light in the apartment across you switches off. sure, at two in the morning, pavements were dusty clean, and the birds were sleeping, but there would always be younger boys smoking along the road, or a drunken group of friends laughing about a past memory. 

now that the pandemic forced everyone into their homes, everything was pretty much dead. there wasn't that excitement you felt when you saw a late-night kiss shared between two lovers or the snug hug of a child to his father who was working overtime that day.

"nothing's up, hyuck, it's fine. you can get back to sleep if you want."

maybe today you two were the one causing the ruckus this time, though. haechan may have let his words slipped, and at that moment, you knew you regretted that bloom in your chest when his lips met yours.

"you're so hard to read, (y/n). i want you to be able to trust me, tell me what's going on."

"why do you wanna know anyway? so you can expose me of my bad habits and weak points?" you whisper, eyes trained on the flickering lamppost a few yards away.

"there you go again! again with the sabotage?" haechan scoffed, exiting the small space and stepping back into the room of mixed emotions.

"is this just about your feelings for me?" 

haechan laughed, "my feelings? might i remind you that you were the one who kissed me full on the lips twelve days ago? what was that all about? i wanna talk about it, even though we said we wouldn't! i wanna talk about why you hate me so much. i wanna talk about why your emotions are so contradictive!" 

your mouth hangs open as you sputter out a heated reply, but instead gets interrupted with a knock on the door. 

"keep quiet, you damn teenagers! i don't need your petty fights at two in the morning!" with padded feet, the guest returns to his room and slams the door to emphasise his complaint. swallowing, your mind goes blank as it focuses only on one question.

"why do you want to know so much lee haechan? what are you gaining out of this? if it's not sabotaging, then what is it?!" you whisper, standing your ground as with the first argument. 

your throat is clenched up, and your fists are balled up tightly with nails digging into your palm. your heartbeat races like a fast car and your breathing's laboured in the cold room. there's no movement for a second, though they feel like minutes on end as haechan struggles to answer your question.

"what is it, lee donghyuck?" you cry out again, the sparkle in your eyes shining brightly from the tears of your never-ending dispute. he wished it was from the moonlight, instead. he wished the two of you were laughing over the rim of wine glasses and sharing the mischievous glimmer of the moon in your eyes.

"it's nothing. don't mind it." the other turns to catch up on sleep, leaving you to bite your lip.

"now you're doing it, now you're the one doing it. just tell me, you dumbass!" you mumble, pulling on his pyjama sleeve and tugging you to him.

"i like you, okay! it's out there now, i like you a lot, but you make it feel like a crime to do it," haechan whispers, "whatever. fuck this."

"no- what- no, we'll talk this out." you propose, adjusting your grip on his wrist with the curl of your fingers.

the male shakes his head and snatches his arm back, "no, forget it, and i'd prefer if you left me alone, (y/n)."

even with the warmth of his body next to yours, your body felt frozen and stiff. even with the thick duvet cover over you, you felt out of place in the stale hotel room, with colour becoming black and white, they merge into grey as the moonlight shone without a care for your problems.

there's action on the balcony when your eyes flutter open in the morning, noticing the quiet way haechan observes those rushing to work as well as social distancing officers making their rounds.

his eyes look hopeful and youthful, different from the tired ones the night before, or rather, this morning. you hadn't forgotten the angry neighbour banging on the door, and you definitely hadn't forgotten about how much you've wounded haechan this morning.

with a soft knock, you let him know of your presence and you just miss the way his eyes soften at your bed hair and messy appearance. his gaze turns hard in a second as he turns back to the apartment across yours, the balcony door showing your reflection of how hesitant you were.

haechan wished he could take your hands in his and accept your apology in a heartbeat, but he stayed seated and waited for whatever you wanted to say.

"don't run off, please." there's a shameful hand on his shoulders, and he's dying to get up when he sees your downcast eyes in the reflection across the street.

"i was too caught up in getting department head that i... didn't consider other possibilities. even the possibility of you uhm... liking me. it's still a weird concept to me, especially with how much we bicker."

"i'm sorry i didn't stay to hear out your feelings and rather, i just talked over you instead. i'm not sure if you want to accept this or not, but i want to open up—about this, about your feelings and... i don't know how much i've masked my emotions, i just know that we need to communicate."

the doorbell interrupts your apology, but you internally thank the housekeeping for bringing breakfast for the two of you.

with silence over breakfast, you weren't sure how the other felt as he scoffed down the croissant and almost burned his tongue with the coffee he ordered.

[day 33] 

the boy barely watches the television and instead, reads over the article you were working on. seeing as it was already there when he logged on, he skimmed through it out of curiosity, finding that you were rephrasing the messy typos and sentences frantically on your notes.

haechan never forgot the way you were typing away on the laptop, eyes reading and rereading the sentences to make sure they made sense, to make sure they were clear to the reader. 

the argument had taken a toll on you, too. he sees it in the way your eyes sink when your words turn out choppy and lacking, he sees it in the way you lug your body to the bathroom after a late night, he sees it in the way you struggle to hold your smile while attending an interview. 

'haechan. you confuse me. i'm not...' the note below it trails off, piquing his curiosity at what it had in store.

'haechan.' big and bold letters it wrote, with a few dozen question marks below it. your writing skills shine through even in an informal note about your self-proclaimed rival, each line prompting the other to read more.

'you confuse me. i'm not sure what you're at but, it doesn't seem natural for you to tag along with someone you hate, right? that's what i was thinking too.'

'jeez, i remember hating when suyeon told me you were coming along. i didn't believe her one bit until she showed me your plane ticket and the hotel rooms next to each other. god, and when i came here, it was a day of interviewing before the damn government decided to close flights and force us into a room together.'

'i heard that other people had to be separated. i didn't know why we were the unlucky two that had to be put in a room together. i wished we didn't, almost. of course, you annoyed me when we first moved in. hogging the tv to no end, leaving your dirty underwear everywhere, running your mouth just like at our workplace.'

'i couldn't take it, maybe. sure, my brother has similar antics, but there was just something about you that just set me off, you know? i wouldn't have thought it was the opposite, or at least, i think so.'

'i'm counting the days. day 17 and i'm not sure why i feel this bubbling feeling inside me. of course, there's anger—i'm sure it's there, but there's also this other thing i get whenever i look at you.'

'my heart clenches up, and my hands become clammy, but it couldn't be a crush, right? i would've wasted my breath shouting, and my strength whacking your shoulder.' that makes haechan chuckle and look over at you where the soft light dances over your face.

'and then i started imagining. how would your arms wrap around me? how would your infuriating laughter, which somehow turned out to be so contagious, feel in the crook of my neck? yikes, that was cheesy.'

'what would it feel like if we fell in love for one night? where would you bring me and what would we eat? would we make out in your car like unruly teenagers?' 

'what would it be like to love you? it's dumb, isn't it? i don't know. i've liked this bickering thing we had going on, and it's amusing to see you one-up me. i'm not sure if i want that to change and i'm not sure if you want us to, either.'

'maybe i'm wrong, and i'm the only one in this thing. this is so stupid, writing while he's sitting next to me. i'll regret this, maybe. goodnight.'

haechan sighs, closing the device in thought, confused at the words he wasn't exactly supposed to read. had you done this on purpose? he was sharing the laptop with you...

the boy brushed it off, placing the laptop on the vanity before adjusting your side of the duvet, hoping he could find the right words. with hesitant steps, he keeps to his side of the bed, thinking, thinking, thinking. 

when he couldn't no more, haechan fell into the spell of slumber in the comfortable hotel room.

[day 34]

"tea?" he asks from the bathroom as the door clicks behind you, returning from the short hotel walk with a new keychain hanging from your sling bag.

"yeah sure, thanks." 

the water runs as he fills up the kettle as the constant whir of the aircon and the conversation on the television keeps you company in the vast quietness of the room. 

you weren't sure if you should say anything, but when you saw the dishevelled appearance of your roommate, you knew you had to bring up the argument and apology.

"haechan, about our... feelings. do you want to talk about them?" you whispered, a reply reaching your ears in the form of his spoon against the porcelain mug.

haechan hands you the drink wordlessly, sitting on the chair at the vanity before sipping cautiously at the tea. there are unexchanged glances between the two of you before he sighs at your expectant hand tapping the sheets.

"i think it's about time we did," he mumbled, dragging the laptop off the wooden table with anxiety. the other opened it without saying anything, catching you by surprise when the mouse hovers over your note.

"hae- donghyuck! no! what the hell?"

he holds up a hand and clicks on it anyway, making your heart drop to your stomach as he turned the device towards you.

"read the bottom." haechan whispers as you pull the laptop closer to you, settling it on your lap as he observed your expressions carefully.

'i read it, i'm sorry.' you look at him and lift up a hand to prepare to whack him, a defeated sigh escaping you before you carried on.

'was it wrong to read it? of course, and i cannot apologise more for doing shit like that when we still have unsolved tension between us in this small ass room. it was incorrect, but.'

'do you feel the same as me? is bickering all we have to do? why can't we work anything out? they're the questions i keep asking myself after i read your letter.'

'i guess i was too caught up in the fight and not wanting to be the loser that i... can't deny that i've never thought about wanting to get to know you, even if you were that sought out to be my destined enemy.'

'when we fought earlier, you kissed me. i know we said not to mention it, but, uhm, it was good. i liked it. i'm not sure if the reason why you did it was because of the reason you mentioned in the note, but at the time, i assumed it was to shut me up. i thought something would happen after, though you pushed me away and apologised right away.'

'it was a far off dream that i had, but i think it was after i bandaged your foot. you said that you didn't know what was going on in my mind, and i told you.'

'it was like, i was granted an insight into an alternate world, another universe where you didn't feel the strain, where you legitimately assumed i was going for your position.'

'you scoffed when i confessed, right then and there, on day 9. i was counting, too, and it was a scary, confusing dream. i think that's why i held it off as long as i could until your words puzzled and angered me further because you just didn't get it.'

'you scoffed and told me to get lost, pushing on my shoulders where we fought on the balcony for everyone to see. you never spoke to me, you never mentioned my article nor the interviews. we never joked over wine, and we always kept to our side of the bed.'

'i was convinced that heaven wanted me to stay away from you and your heart. maybe it was broken too many times, and you had someone up there looking out for you.'

'i feel like i'm copying off the textbook of some greek mythology starter pack, but i'm for real! no kidding.' you smiled, looking at him with nervous eyes at the small joke he put in.

'i guess whoever put that dream in my sleep really wanted us not to be together because i think i would've told you i liked you on the spot itself. i let my conscious get the best of me.'

'i know this is a lazy way of conveying my feelings, and i wished i could do it with words, but i feel like you wouldn't believe me otherwise. i rushed it this morning when you went on your morning walk around the hotel and when you let me know of your stroll in a soft voice, i wanted nothing more than to get you in my arms as we wake up to the housekeeping service.'

'i didn't want any more tension between us, and i didn't want to be interrupted by your alarm while we avoid each other more. it hurts seeing you escape the room in haste. you said it was weird for me to tag along with someone i hate, too, and that someone was you. i guess you found out why.'

looking up, you found him right in front of you, mouth dry from his reply to your letter. with a gulp, you leaned forward to meet his lips halfway.

"i'm sorry to whoever's up there," he whispers, prompting a grin and a laugh out of you.

the laptop is forgotten on the bed as haechan situates himself over you, clutching your shoulder gently while his lips move quickly, fast to make up for lost time. 

"wait wait, wait, you're not playing me, are you?" you mumble in return, reluctantly pulling away while witnessing the way his eyes soften at your guard still up. haechan shakes his head forlornly, tongue pressing up against the side of his mouth nervously.

"no, i'm not, (y/n)," he says quietly with as much sincerity he can muster, removing his hand from your shoulder with a forced smile. 

"okay." there's a shakiness to your voice, but when you bring his lips back to yours, it gives you a rush of confidence. your skin is burning up, and your hands can't stop wandering as his lips capture yours, repeatedly moving against yours like a trance.

you grant haechan access to your mouth with a whimper, melting into his embrace as his arms wrap tighter around your figure. his eagerness lingers when he pushes forward, straddling your lap as his leg nudges the laptop.

"wait, hyuck, wait, the laptop!" you joke, placing the device on the floor before getting back into the kiss with just as much fervour. within a minute or so, the other breaks away to say the words you so hated to hear:

"we... we need to talk. we can't just kiss the fight off, although i very much like to," haechan murmurs the last part, making you stifle a smile. 

you nod quickly, repeating the word "okay" like a robot. your hands naturally travel from his arms down to his fingers, and you clutch them like your life depended on it.

"we have... established, that i like you, correct?" haechan whispers, scooting closer as his tea-ridden breath surrounds you. from here, you could even smell the buttered croissant he ate this morning.

it made you smile, something simple as that.

"why- why are you laughing (y/n)?" he asks anxiously, eyes darting to find the reason why you found this so funny.

"no. no no no, i'm thinking of... the croissant you ate just now, and," you sigh, resting your head on his broad shoulder. 

"i'm thinking of the way your eyes light up when you show me the articles you idolise so much, and i'm thinking of the way you cuddle up to me whenever we watch stranger things." 

"i'm thinking of the way you thought i wouldn't give you a chance, even though i've been pondering on the same thing as you. i'm thinking of the things that make up lee haechan, lee donghyuck. yes, you like me, and yes i like you, but i guess i haven't told you the reason."

"i hated you, i really did. i found every reason to convince my mind to hate you. gaining trust, signing up for events you didn't know shit about, sucking up to the seniors, stealing my friends when they didn't know your personality. the personality i didn't even want to know because i was too busy in my little bubble."

"assuming you'd want to get department head was the cherry on top, because why else would you want to tag along? that was the factor that convinced me and confirmed my suspicions from day one."

you grunt in opposition, clearly not liking the truth that was spilling from your lips. haechan deserved to know, however. you kept your eyes trained on his lap where his hands were holding yours in support, crumbling from the blindness that caused your hatred. 

"so from then, the plane ride, immigration, the cab to the interview place, the cab back, the hotel room, my hatred for you boiled over." you listed, voice breaking as you looked haechan in the eye. 

"it was stupid of me to assume, to assume the worst of you when i didn't even know you. i wasn't even sure why i felt so bitter looking at you, but the way you acted, the way you whined, worked me up so much that i figured that was how you were."

"now when i'm sitting here with the curtains drawn, i can see why you're so attractable and easy to talk to and easy-going and bright that my friends keep talking to you."

"i can see why the seniors turn to you because you're reliable and hardworking without uttering a single word."

"i can see why you wanted to hop on this flight with me because you're always curious about the world and how you can expand your skill set."

and as you said word after word, haechan observes you with a soothing hand against your forearms. his eyes shine for a different reason, for the lost time he could've had if the two of you didn't have this massive barrier. a massive barrier that's been up for the longest time. 

brick by brick, the wall is being torn down. as you hold haechan's face in the stillness of the room, you feel closer to him than you've ever felt and his tears match your frustrated ones. 

choking on sobs, delayed apologies were all you could whisper.

"i'm sorry, i'm sorry, really. we fought so bad that day, and i was so goddamn insensitive..." you sigh, swallowing a lump when his hand reached up to wipe the tears. with a blocked nose, you breathe shakily as housekeeping interrupts the moment. 

you nod towards the door as he stood up slowly to reveal the same housekeeping girl. she cleaned up the bathroom and wardrobe quietly as the two of you stood awkwardly in the small space. she had left the sheets since everyone was practically stuck in, anyway.

haechan nudges you toward the door with a shove, shooting the same housekeeping girl a small smile and a bow as an apology to the previous run-in.

"he confessed his feelings?" she inquired softly, noticing the tear marks on your face.

you bit your lip, "yeah."

"that's good, he's finally not a coward." she laughs, folding the used towels and placing them with her.

you leaned against the door, asking for an explanation with your puzzled look.

"he was someone i liked, before. we had classes back in high school. it was just a dumb crush, honestly." the housekeeping girl shrugs, resting her head on her fist in thought.

"i think he liked me, and i did too, but we didn't do much except for exchange looks and flirt because both of us were just too scared." she shakes her head and adjusts the disinfectant spray bottle, fidgeting with the nozzle.

"i'm glad he had enough courage to admit his feelings." 

nodding along to her statement, she bids you farewell as her figure fades with each step, leaving you with a sense of calmness to the end of this situation.

[day 38]

"is... is this okay?" haechan asks, arm hovering over your body while waiting for your confirmation. you smile and nod, sinking into his side as you venture in the third season of stranger things together. 

"don't you think we should be working on our articles?" you whisper, looking up at him from where you were with raised eyebrows.

the boy opens and closes his mouth in thought, gesturing to the television with an exaggerated expression. 

"stranger things, ma'am."

you click your tongue and sigh with a smile, turning back to the show as you try to relax for an online interview in a few hours.

[day 39]

"what do you say about my set-up?" haechan nudges you, proud of the hangout area he prepared on the balcony. although small, he had no trouble making it look comfortable. 

with a smile, you pop open the wine to celebrate the last scheduled interview for the trip, clinking glasses with haechan in the setting sun.

the country you were supposed to return to was slowly opening up flights for those stranded overseas and as refreshing as a different environment was, you missed home and the warmness of it.

you missed the office and your desk. hell, you even missed the mediocre coffee from the pantry.

with the last of the wine finishing, haechan pours half into your glass and the other into his, clinking one last time before you one-shot the beverage.

the high of the alcohol is gradually brought down by the mellow atmosphere and colours of twilight. as pink and orange cross over on the horizon, haechan mumbles a low "c'mere" to you in the darkness.

you hum in response and get up from your seat, bringing a pillow with you as haechan shifts to make space. sinking naturally into his arms, you sigh while you try to contain a smile full of content.

"this is nice," you admit, the corners of your lips disobeying your command, prompting you to shoot him a smile. haechan nods against your hair, a comfortable arm around your waist while you trace the tan skin of his arm.

the other taps your waist repeatedly, turning in response as he whispers out a question that makes your heart melt.

"can i kiss you?" you grin, slipping a hand around his neck and pulling him in right away. haechan's caught by surprise, laughing into your lips and striving to savour the moment as much as he could. 

a shout from across the hotel distracts you from the kiss. looking up, you realise it was the apartment resident opposite you shooting you a 'rock on' gesture.

"you guys are not fighting anymore! congrats!" you both stifle a snort as you wave back to the resident, sighing in relief when their balcony door slides shut.

"should we go inside, m'lady?" haechan giggles, replying in the form of a nod, cleaning up the area while you head in.

[day 41]

"i didn't think they'd be letting flights in so early," you mumble, folding your clothes neatly as your vision shifts to haechan... shoving his fair share of apparel into his luggage.

"donghyuck... what the hell?" you roll your eyes, shoving the boy softly as you took over the task at hand. switching personalities almost immediately, haechan fakes an interview segment with exaggerated tones.

"see, everyone, this is how you convince someone to do the work for you," the boy lays on the bed with a satisfied expression, "now i don't have to do anyth- ow!"

"if we ever live together, maybe i should punish you by doing the laundry and then folding it," you grunt, working at the speed faster than you expected while you fold shirt after shirt.

"are you proposing we move in together?" haechan peeks through an open eye, curiosity dripping from his tone. he tried to feign nonchalance but awaiting your answer felt like a weight on his heart.

your next words lifted that weight, a seemingly invisible force bringing his upper body off the bed as he stares at you in shock.

"maybe, not now but... in the future, maybe," you mumble the last part, focusing on the clothes to prevent the male from seeing the fluster on your face.

"for real?" haechan sits up, biting his lip to contain his excitement as your confirmation. 

"we'll be all stupidly domestic and shit, and i'll say i love you five years from now before you go off for work if you want that and stuff," your voice goes lower and quieter, especially towards the end, biting off way more than you could chew.

"aw! i love you too!" haechan gushes, bringing you into an embrace as your hands go limp, scrambling to explain your emphasis on the 'future'.

"d-donghyuck, i meant the future, not now..." you manage to spit out, hoping you need not answer his queries any more. your mind blanks out at the current situation, wishing you hadn't said those dumb things.

he grins into your neck, "i know, i'm just answering for future me."

you groan and escape the hug with a roll of your eyes, "yuck, too cheesy!" the boy just lets out a laugh, watching the way you fold his clothes despite your initial annoyance.

[day 42]

suyeon switches between the two of you in disbelief, finger crooked at the ambiguity of "we like each other".

"wha-" suyeon doesn't get the chance to finish the sentence before you shoot her a thumbs up, grabbing haechan by the arm and your stuff with the other.

you were happy to leave the office after a quick debrief since you two had reported to the office right after arriving at the airport, relieved when you heard he'd spare a few more days for your articles to be cleaned up.

"so, (y/n), what would you like to do now?" haechan looks at you through the reflective material of the elevator, observing the nervous wringing of your fingers.

you're glad for the material protecting your face because there's a smile that you struggle to keep as his soft, gentle voice carries through the quiet space.

the anxiety ends when the lift sounds, prompting your eyes to trail down his arm. your hand moves on its own accord, grabbing his last finger with yours as you proceed into the lift sheepishly, not missing the way haechan's eyes show his bright smile behind the mask.

"maybe i'll get to know you more, lee donghyuck."

haechan lets out a gasp, "have you not learned about me enough? scandalous." 

you feign a punch in his direction, the luggage beside you tripping over its wheels due to your swift movement. the only response you get is a giggle from the other as he tightens his pinky around yours, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek right above your face mask just as the elevator doors open.

"man, i really do want to punch you now," you mutter as you let haechan lead you, wanting nothing more than to rest in the arms of your enemy-turned-friend? enemy-turned-someoneyoulike?

you weren’t exactly sure.

he doesn't answer during the walk to the main road, nor the ride back to your home, the only constant thing being the way he admires your profile in the taxi, shrugging when you counter with a playful "what?". 

"nothing," haechan grins.

[there are more days to come]

sure, day forty-one may not have been the day you fell in love with haechan, nor the day where he outwardly claims you as his lover.

but, taking it slow never hurt anyone, either.

you know it in the way he tells you he can't go in unless he's invited and you see it in the way he asks if he can switch the television on while you prepare some drinks.

like the hotel, you know it in the way he asks if he can kiss you and the way he deepens his kisses with caution.

you appreciate it in the way he quickly apologises for a personal question, while visibly relaxing as you brush it off with a smile.

with hours pass, day forty-two becomes day forty-three, and haechan remains as chivalrous as always.

days pass, and you submit your articles. weeks pass, and you get to know the boy more and more. months pass, and you feel his love in the way he plays with your fingers in the dark and pulls you close under the sheets.

even if you hadn't acknowledged the love between the two of you, that note you wrote half-drunk matched the way you felt now—with how your heart clenches up and with how your grin never leaves your face with haechan around.

there are more days to come with lee haechan, lee donghyuck, even if it meant getting stuck together in a hotel room with unsaid words.

[retvenkos]

“are you always this chaotic?”

A/N: i have an inquisitive anon in my ask box that deserves the whole world, and i decided their amazing (sometime hilarious) ask deserved better formatting, so here we are. sweet anon, this is for you.

tw: language

@bladesappreciationweek​​ A COLLECTION OF RANDOM HEADCANONS AND MEMES FOR THE INCOMPARABLE BLADES COMPANY...

who reserves the right to say “fuck”?

mal does not deserve the right. 10/10 he would use it every other word just for the effect of it all (scandalizing tyril who is upper class and thinks there are “better, more intellectual insults” and upsetting nia who tries to play it off like it doesn’t bother her, but she doesn’t like it). no rights, we’re censoring mal.

nia deserves the right, but she would never use it. not even in her dreadlord state did she utter it (the dreadlord is also an upper class elitist, fight me) but she argues with mal that she can say it and she would, but scholar vash is watching over her right now and she can’t disgrace him (scholar vash would be vvv proud if she said it, though, don’t even lie). olinda egged her on one night and she whispered it, dissolving into a fit of giggles afterward, but neither of them speak of it afterward.

tyril does not deserve the right. he believes himself too good™ for such a word, so he doesn’t get rights. he says he’s better than banal vernacular, thank you very much, but that’s awfully presumptuous of him and fails to take into account that, at all times he’s 5 seconds away from saying it, now that mal has entered his life. 100%, mal is trying to get tyril to say it by startling him at unnecessary times or just being generally irritating, and he never gets tyril to crack. i imagine tyril does end up saying it, though. aerin turns out to be the bad guy and nia falls into the portal or whatever and tyril is just like “...... fuck.” mal is bitter he wasn’t the one to make it happen, but he doesn’t whine about it until after the dreadlord has been defeated. nia is slightly upset that she was the reason tyril broke his solemn vow, but she also laughed thoroughly at mal’s rendition of the moment and regrets that she wasn’t there to see it.

imtura deserves the right and uses it. imtura curses like a sailor. .....get it? because she’s a— alright, you get it. but yes, imtura gets to the right to say fuck and she says it enough for everyone. if mal ever wants to express himself using the expletive, imtura will gladly say it for him. solidarity. but she’s also sweet, deep down, and she keeps her swearing to a minimum when nia is around. 

olinda deserves the right, 100%. she doesn’t say it often, but when she does, it has such power. mal wishes he had the commanding presence. olinda is generally too intent on finding a solution to the problem to ever dwell on failure, but when she goes into battle and realizes her group is terrible outnumbered? oop, there it is.

kade. oh, my sweet summer child, who swears often enough to rival imtura. 100%, he deserves the say “fuck” because every bard deserves free access to every word they can get their hands on. it’s rather funny that kade has a terrible mouth, since he’s like the golden retriever of the group (barring nia, ofc), but it’s also rather fitting. imtura was taken aback and mal had mad respect after hearing one of his tirades (directed at threep, ofc) and tyril is just like,,,,,, will i ever rEsT? anyway, let kade say fuck.

threep does not, under any circumstance deserve the right. threep will go off if given the right to swear, and it’s terribly annoying. everyone is trying to travel through a small town and then, out of the priestess of light’s travel bag you hear the worst string of curses you’ve ever heard - so many outdated and upper class curses picked up through the millennia and then you hear the most country, farmer swears (thanks, kade). it scandalizes everyone and nia is the poor girl who has to carry threep around. don’t let threep swear, whatever you do. it’s a power far too strong for this world.

what they get a tattoo of...

mal tries desperately to have the ~aesthetic~ so you know he gets something like a compass or a dagger or something equally as wanderlust and vague. it’s hella intricate and it’s probably on his forearm or something. i feel like mal is 100% that guy who has a tattoo for his mom on his chest but is also deeply terrified of commitment so the mere idea of getting a tattoo for someone else paralyzes him with intense fear. i don’t feel like mal is the guy to have writing for tattoos - he’s much more open to drawings than words. he’s all about the imagery. mal probably has a couple of tattoos though - he might be starting a sleeve or something, idk.

nia would deliberate long and hard before getting a tattoo - it’s permanent, after all, so she wants it to be something special. she 100% puts it on her lower back, which she grows to regret because she can’t actually see it? it is probably a flower a drawing of the temple of light, or a light crystal or something. i have a feeling there’s a prayer written in cursive that kind of wraps around the image she has tattooed. mal took her to get her tattoo and he was a proud brother™.

tyril was 100% that emo kid who wrote angsty song lyrics in a notebook, and that has not changed. i 100% guarantee that his first tattoo is a poem or something that he either wrote himself or desperately wishes he had written. he probably has it tattooed on his side or something equally as dramatic. mal wishes he had the flair that tyril just naturally carries. he’s iconic™ without even trying. he probably only has a few tattoos and most of them are small. he was one big tattoo on his back - it’s elaborate and kind of works like a family tree. it’s unique to him - he likes the idea that he carries his ancestors with him, no matter where he goes. nia notices one night that the company is on it, too, and she never says anything, but she’s touched.

imtura gets all the NAUTICAL IMAGERY. she 100% has one of those bands wrapping around her bicep, made of waves. i also imagine that imtura has a lot of ink? it’s what she deserves, and i feel like orcs are really artistic with their tattoos - their tattoos are culturally relevant and she has a story for every single one. mal knows every single story - they get sentimental on night watches. i imagine that imtura also knows how to give tattoos, so i headcanon that she gave olinda one that represents the company. imtura thought it was very sappy, but deep down, she was honored to do it.

olinda. similar to imtura, olinda has a lot of ink. the only difference is that she gets hers later on. there is one (1) person who knows how to tattoo in riverbend, and olinda got a few from them, but once she goes out to see the world? she’s going to the good™ tattoo artists and she’s fulfilling her dreams. i feel like olinda get’s her tattoos in very pointed spots - she definitely has a sleeve and you can “read” it from top to bottom - the story of her life. kade jokes that olinda’s memory is shot and so she has to get tattoos to remember her story, but he also really admires them. olinda has a lot of constellation tattoos, including some of the ones that kade made up. she’s very sappy, tbh.

kade got one (1) tattoo when he and olinda were piss drunk. it’s a matching tattoo with olinda that’s very weird and makes no sense at all. you had to be there, and tbh, even if you were there, it doesn’t make sense. to top it all off, it’s on his bicep so that when he flexes, it wiggles. at the time, olinda and kade thought it was the funniest thing and they died of laughter. does he regret it? kade maintains that he doesn’t. does he know the story behind it? he likes to say he does, but he actually doesn’t. olinda knows, and sometimes she’ll drop vague hints to see if it jogs his memory. kade maintains that he’ll never get another tattoo. once was enough.

modern! au ethnicities

disclaimer that there are a lot of great headcanons out there, and i’m here for most of them, these are just my ideas..

i imagine that mal is indian or pakistani, nia is brazilian or dominican, tyril is japanese or mongolian, imtura is maori or samoan, olinda is latina, and kade is half hispanic, half filipino.

when texting.... (and some handwriting thoughts)...

a modern! au? idk, maybe just an au where they somehow have modern technology? anyway...

mal grossly overuses emojis. his favorites are these: 🤑🔪😎😏. he also never uses proper capitalization and punctuation, and he uses abbreviations far too often. you need a key to figure out some of his texts, but imtura and olinda just know what he means. his philosophy is style and speed over substance. when he writes handwritten notes, though, his handwriting is a very fancy cursive and the care he puts into each letter is amazing. he only ever handwrites love letters to olinda and “i hate you <3″ letters to tyril, though. he did write a heartfelt birthday letter to nia, once. she framed it.

nia is my favorite because she texts like a grandparent, where they format texts like a letter and have perfect punctuation and capitalization. when she got a text from mal, she was very confused by what he was trying to express, but she wanted to know how he got the “cute faces” and mal immediately dropped everything to teach her how to use emojis. she loves them and probably uses a string of emojis at the end of her text as a part of her signature, like: [ the body of the text ] Best, Nia 😇🥰👑💖🌸 but her handwriting! it’s very nice. the temple of light had penmanship classes and nia excelled. ngl, she probably does caligraphy.

tyril uses no capitalization. punctuation only. you can hear the sarcasm through his text. he also hates emojis and memes with a burning passion. he has used this, though: -.-  he did it for nia. she loved it and now every time they text, he ends his texts with his “emoji”. mal teases him because it’s dumb and now it’s a running gag that everyone send the weird emoji to each other. it’s the tyril face! tyril wants to jump off a bridge, but also finds it very sweet? he has people giving him emoji’s? is that like.... friendship? anyway, his handwriting is terrible. glorified chicken scratch. it’s efficient and nearly illegible. perfect.

imtura, on the other hand texts the most “traditionally”. she doesn’t really adhere to capitalization, and she never has the ending period, but you know what she’s saying. it’s decent. she doesn’t like to complicate things, but kade introduced her to memes and now she and him communicate together solely using low resolution memes that no one else likes. it’s very annoying but very endearing. her handwriting is nice - simple and easy to understand. she uses a lot of shorthand and a lot of sailor jargon that goes over some people’s (read: tyril’s) heads, but is smart and to the point.

olinda, actually, is the one to have proper punctuation and capitalization, with little flavor to her texts. occasionally she’ll send an emoji or two, but mostly it’s just... communication. she much prefers calling, and will call you 20 times in a row until you answer. she forces tyril to facetime her and he rolls his eyes but secretly loves it. communication is much more efficient when you can see each others facial expressions, and boy, does context go a long way when talking with tyril. oH! I FORGOT TO MENTION - olinda grew up on a rural farm. olinda chronically says “y’all” and has all of those weird, farm related sayings. kade doesn’t have this problem because he “trained himself in verse” and said that he had to be “worldly” not “farm chic.” anyway, her handwriting is kind of careless in nature - not especially nice, but not especially terrible, either. it’s a hybrid between cursive and print (whatever is fastest is best).

kade texts solely in dank memes and lengthy prose. he is the most chaotic person in the group chat, either bidding the company to draw near by sending them four stanzas of incredibly vague meaning (only tyril and olinda understand) or he’s sending “vroom vroom bitch” memes that mal and imtura adore. the blades book may not have given kade flavor, but on GOD i will give it to him because a bard requires chaotic vibes, even if he has a tragic backstory. you know what? especially because he has a tragic backstory, kade deserves some chaos. give me chaotic kade or give me death. as for handwriting, i like to think that kade has two modes: “drafting” handwriting (chicken scratch to rival tyril) and “final product” handwriting that is purposefully and beautifully penned. he had a lot of time to perfect his writing, being sick, and boy did it pay off.

threep deserves to be in this line up, despite not being able to write. in this chaotic technology au, nia has created an instagram page for threep, and because he’s one of the last living nespers, it goes viral. when olinda and mal stumble upon it they have to laugh because it’s full of really expertly done ~aesthetic~ photos with really sweet captions - things threep wouldn’t say in a million years. the account is only up for a few months and at first the posting is really consistent, and then it suddenly falls apart and the account is deleted soon after. apparently, threep didn’t know the instagram account existed and when he found out, he and nia had legendary fights and wouldn’t speak for like, 2 weeks after. nia made a very shady and slightly vague call out post and it was the first time the company really saw her get petty. the instagram page was the perfect fuel for kade’s scathing and petty remarks at threep, and threep came out hard, making a dig at kade’s writing and his stupid tattoo. threep nearly died at the hands of the two sweetest - kade and nia. it was certainly one for the books.

high school! au

(you are right, anon, a high school au would be iconic™)

mal is 100% a band kid. he has the “i play the guitar to be cool” vibes. and besides, the guitar player in the band is always a little more ~rebellious~ than the other band kids (superseded only by the standing bass kids in orchestra, who had unrivaled chaotic evil energy). plus, mal has a flair for the dramatic, which the band kids have in spades. mal is a little too much of a rule breaker to have been on any teams or anything super structured like that, and while we all know that he’s a heartbreaker, he’s not a popular kid™ because (at least in my school) the popular kids are always rich kids who run in the “right” circles. mal is too cool for that.

nia on the other hand is the smart prep that’s really sweet. like, the girl who’s friends with the cheerleaders and could have been one, too, if she wasn’t so shy™. she’s mostly overlooked in favor of the more glamorous, but everyone knows nia and they’re all like, “yeah! she’s cute! and smart, and nice.” she’s probably in like, robotics club or something equally as estranged but smart. 100%, nia is the gabriella montez archetype. she’s in a few clubs, including choir, where her angelic voice earns her a few solos. people are always trying to give her positions of power in their clubs, but she graciously declines because she’s stretched too thin and stress is a thing.

tyril. i know you all want him to be like, the smart one who’s in debate club and is really charming, but tyril’s social skills are not cut out for that. tyril is like that smart kid who sits at the back of history class and knows all the answers but never raises his hand. he has one (1) popular friend who has been close with him since they were both in diapers, but he doesn’t feel comfortable with their friends so he just kinda sits alone for the most part. he was picked up once by the emo artsy kids, but it didn’t really stick. he likes poetry class and does a metal working class because he can be alone with his headphones and thoughts™. in high school he’s just brooding without the mystery. tyril cringes at his youth. he’s too strong and iconic in his current age, so he had to be cringeworthy in his teen years. perfectly balanced, as all things should be.

imtura was 100% that cool, slightly edgy girl on the volleyball team. she was popular with the students and the teachers - like, this is the student that the school mentions is going places, and yet are also like,,,, “let’s try to guide you over here, imtura. you have such potential! don’t squander it!” and imtura hates nothing more than their incessant pleas for her to be the model student. she just wants to travel the world, maybe join a punk band, and get lost at sea. that’s not too much to ask, right? she’s also on the football team, and she’s team captain. she lives in sweatpants and workout clothes, and they actually really suit her? definitely crush material, this one. she’s probably also throws some killer weekend parties with mal’s input.

olinda was harder to place, but i imagine that she’s one of those hands on kids, taking woodworking, metal working, and auto mechanics classes. maybe she was on the soccer team, one year, but that didn’t really work out. she’s a team player and all, but she likes something with a little more purpose. she met tyril in metalworking, she met mal when helping with sets for the school play (he was annoying the theatre kids, as per usual), she met imtura in gym class because imtura picked her to be on her flag football team (which was a great choice, really), and she met nia when she went to the choir room, looking for kade. she’s not popular, per se, but people know her face and they think she’s pretty cool.

kade on the other hand, is 100% an artsy theatre kid. he’s not the super obnoxious theatre kid, and he’s not the snobby theatre kid either, he’s kind of like the older sibling theatre kid who’s infinitely cooler than you, incredibly talented, but also really down to earth and ready to create an elaborate inside joke with you over the course of the year. he has it all: the tragic backstory that adds flavor and depth to his writing, the kind personality that gets him friends wherever he goes, the amazing vocals that make him a shoe in for every performance..... but he often gets overlooked. why? it’s one of those injustices that just don’t make sense. he’s decently popular among the art nerds, and everyone wonders why he doesn’t get lead roles. a real ryan evans, if we want to go with a hsm reference.

AND FLUFF ENSUES.

-- taglist: @musicallisto​, @missameliep​ // message me if you want to be added!