#i heard the english teacher we had was replaced and the one we had left the school‚ so that's sad. i really liked her.

[yellowkitkieran]

To Have and To Heal (Part 3)

Masterlist

Read part 1 here

Word Count: 2.7k

Summary: Single working dad Martin Odegaard is navigating the ups and downs of parenthood all on his own, and he’s struggling. That’s not to mention football, life and... love?

Martin isn't usually bothered when people don't pay attention to him. In fact most days he prefers it that way instead of having people swarm him to ask for photos or autographs, especially when he's with Atla. He wants her out of the spotlight as much as possible, and it's nice when people respect that. 

But when it comes to you Martin is curious to say the least. Last week you'd been friendly and always had a smile to offer him when you spoke. This afternoon when he picked Atla up from school you seemed off, almost like you were distancing yourself for some reason. Now, he knows you aren't exactly friends by any stretch and that's fine, though your sudden change in demeanor rubs him the wrong way, and he can't quite put his finger on why it's so important to him.

It doesn't sit well with him. He thought you were finally seeing him as an equal and not just another parent. Perhaps this is the universe's way of telling him not to try and make friends with people outside his current circle. He should probably listen. Then again, Martin is a stubborn man and he doesn't heed warning signs often. 

Martin has the fleeting thought that perhaps Atla has heard something. Kids do tend to hear things they shouldn't, like some sort of weird sixth sense. Maybe his daughter overheard you talking with another teacher and can provide him with some sort of clue.

So Martin clears his throat and does his best to sound casual, as if his toddler would understand the gravity of what he is about to ask. "Attie, have you heard anything about Miss. Sunshine lately?"

Atla's nose scrunches up, "What do you mean pa? I see her every day! I hear her all the time!"

Martin shakes his head and goes back to chopping carrots for their dinner. He's had a beef stew planned for weeks now, and tonight he finally found the time to block out to make it. "Nevermind elskling. What are you working on?"

"I'm finishing up my geography project." Thankfully, Atla's one track mind immediately distracts her from his earlier question. "We have to color all the countries in the world and then put them up on the wall to make one big map- each of us has a whoooole bunch to do, and I want mine to be the prettiest!"

Martin peeks over her shoulder. She's currently outlining freehand flowers within the border of Germany, her colored pencils lined up next to her paper in rainbow order. Martin smiles as she picks up the red and colors in a few of her blooms, "red huh? That's my favorite color you know. Perfect choice."

"It's mine too! I like red flowers the best, like the ones that grow in our garden."

"Mum's flowers," Martin notes, kissing the top of Atla's head when she nods. Tulips were Maria's favorite and she planted bunches of red ones in the gardens each year. Atla loved digging in the dirt with her, ruining whatever adorable outfit she was dressed in that day. Martin never cared about the stained clothes because clothes can be replaced- the memories Alta made with her mum can not.

Once their dinner is simmering on the stove and filling the house with a mouthwatering aroma, Martin sits at the table to help Atla. "Am I allowed to help?"

"Ja! Here take the oransje one pa-"

"Orange," Martin offers, having correctly assumed she had forgotten the English translation. She smiles ruefully, melting Martin's heart as she passes him a sheet."

"Orange. Now get to work pappa!"

Martin follows her instructions on what portion to color in yellow or blue or orange. He uses his left hand so it's a bit more authentic and toddler looking, his shading uneven and slightly outside the lines. 

Her ability to boss him around is unmatched, and he finds himself wondering not for the first time how solid of a leader Atla would be on a football pitch. She has the right balance between raw spark and assertiveness that would make her an important part of any team once she was a little older. For now, he'll enjoy her just as she is: an innocent girl whose only wish is to color her assignment with her pappa.

Once he finishes with Canada, he hands the sheet back and Atla claps her hands. "It's perfect pa! You did a good job! This one is my favorite so far because we did it together! You need to sign it in the corner so everyone knows it's yours."

Martin takes the paper that she thrusts in his direction, using a pen to sign his name on the bottom edge. He then tucks it safely in her folder to return to the classroom along with the others she's finished so far. Martin rests his chin on his fist, watching her carefully finish up the page she's working on now. There's a bit of purple paint smudged on her arm; where that's come from he has no idea. But it only further cements the image of his little artistic prodigy, brightening the world one brushstroke at a time. 

"Can I use my fancy markers for the last one?" She points to the cabinet on her left, where Martin keeps her crayons, papers, feathers, and other craft supplies. "We're supposed to color with different things. Jake used rice for his- but that's messy and isn't very pretty! I want mine to be pretty. Can I pleaseeeeee use my fancy markers pappa?"

Since she was a baby, Atla has had a knack for creativity and it has always been important to Martin that he nurture that side of her. Last Christmas he bought her a set of professional artist markers that cost him a pretty penny. She recognized the brand immediately as the same ones her favorite YouTube artist used for their drawings and fell in love at the first swipe of pigment on paper. 

His only rule is that he is home when she uses them and that she asks before grabbing them. He'd needed to implement that after she ruined her first set by leaving the caps off after a midnight art session, forcing him to buy a new set to avoid a total meltdown. 

"Yes elskling, thank you for asking. You can grab them- two hands on that container please!" 

Atla's tongue pokes out when she carefully carries the pink plastic box to the dining room table. She sets the box down and climbs onto her chair, looking at Martin for help to scoot it in so she can better reach her work surface. She gets right to work, grabbing her next country and carefully outlining abstract shapes within its borders. 

"Pretty soon I'll have to fit you with a proper studio," Martin half jokes. "I think you're outgrowing the dining table. What do you say, should I turn that playroom of yours into a little art space?"

Atla squirms in her seat, ponytail bouncing as she nods, "yes please! I would really really love that- could I have one of those stand up tables too? A staffeli for my paintings!"

Martin grins, reaching over to grab her under her arms and hoist her into his lap for a hug. "I can get you an easel søta, that's for sure! And you know what…" Martin leans down, cupping his hands to her ear like he's letting her in on a secret, "I'll even let you paint the walls."

Atla squeals, doing an adorable little happy dance. Martin decides then and there that her bright, soul-touching smile in this moment is well worth any paint that splatters on the flooring in the future. She throws her arms around his neck, squeezing with all her strength.

"Thank you pa! I know what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna paint it to look like the forest! But I'll need help… I'm too small to paint the tall trees!"

One day, Atla will be big and strong. She won't need Martin's help to reach the top cabinet or put her gloves on before school. She'll be her own person, equipped with the tools to take on the world. So for now, Martin will take any chance he can get to help her, no matter how big or small the task may be. 

He tugs lightly on one of her pigtails, "That's what you have a pappa for Attie, I'll help you with the tall bits okay?" When his daughter nods, Martin nudges another colorless sheet towards her. "One left, so finish this one up while I finish dinner. Maybe we'll see about doing something fun after."

Atla taps the end of a marker to her chin, leaving a few pink dots on her skin that Martin wipes off with a towel. "The park! Could we go to the park so I can go on the swings?"

"Finish your assignment and eat your dinner, then we can talk."

**********

Martin needs to work on saying 'no' to Atla because at this rate, she'll have him wrapped around her finger forever. Atla had finished her assignment but not her dinner, and yet Martin still followed through on his promise to take her to the park. One glimpse of her sad eyes and downturned mouth did him in and he had caved immediately. 

Atla is independent enough that she unbuckles herself from her car seat with no problems, but thankfully, she's still small enough to want to hold Martin's hand to cross the car park. 

"Hey- slow down søta, no running when there's cars around remember? Look both ways." He waits until she obeys, then looks at him for confirmation before he nods. "Okay, now you can go."

Atla tugs him along at a jog, giggling with excitement when the playground comes into view. He drops her hand as soon as their feet touch the grass and Atla takes off like a rocket, her hot pink coat making it easy to spot her as she climbs the steps of the playground. Martin smiles, keeping an eye on her as he heads for a bench to sit at. 

Only a handful of years ago, Martin doubted he'd have the opportunity for a family. Footballer life is difficult, with long hours and lengthy stretches spent away from home. It's a job that is as stressful as it is rewarding, and days like these are definitely worth it. He loves being able to switch off, blending in with all the other parents and guardians whose children play in groups around the park, laughing and chasing each other through invented games. No one cares who he is here. He could be the prime minister and no one would bat an eye. 

One of his favorite things about London culture is how the parents look after all the children, not just their own. So Martin has no problem pulling out his phone to read a few chapters of a book, secure in the knowledge that Attie will be safe among her peers thanks to the hawk-eyed mums scattered around the park.

Martin manages a few minutes of peace before Atla's shout has his head snapping up, "Miss Sunshine!" He scans the immediate vicinity to try and spot you, trying to pinpoint Atla's location.

"Oh, hello Atla! What are you doing here?" Martin shoves his phone in his pocket when he sees you crouched in front of Atla, fixing the buttons on her jacket. "Where's your pappa?"

The way you say 'pappa' has his stomach twisting. Your accent is nearly nonexistent and it makes him wonder if you know a touch of Norwegian. 

"Over there," Atla says, pointing in Martin's general direction. He waves when you glance at him. The smile he offers you turns to a frown when you almost instantly turn away. 

"Well, why don't you go play with my nephew? His name is Jack, I'm sure you'll get along great! He's in the blue and purple coat over there- go say hello!"

"Okay Miss Sunshine!" Atla laughs, running over to the boy and introducing herself. She suggests they play on the slides and Jack happily accepts- which is as much of their conversation as Martin overhears.

He wants to speak with you. Why are his palms sweaty? He wipes them on his jeans as he stands to make his way over to you. A tight lipped smile is all you greet him with- again with that frosty, formal feeling between the two of you. 

"Hello," Martin says, opting for simple and polite.

"Hi. My nephew," you offer before he can ask, pointing to the brunette Atla is being chased by. "My brother and sister in law are out of town on some second honeymoon thing."

He takes the opportunity to open a dialog, "Ah, I see. And I take it that you're the designated babysitter?"

You nod, arms crossed over your chest. "Yep, I guess I am. Never mind that my mum would love to have her grandson around for a full week, I'm first in line for some reason."

"Because you're a teacher, yeah? I can see the logic there I suppose. Good with kids and all that."

Martin wants you to laugh so he keeps his tone light and joking, but instead you look uncomfortable. "Yeah, probably."

He isn't sure what's suddenly changed between you, seeing as you seemed fine with him during the stadium tour not long ago. He is sure that he doesn't want you to think he expects you to speak with him though, so he clears his throat and scuffs his toe through the dirt. 

"Well, I'll leave you be. Atla and I usually come here after dinner on most weekdays, so if Jack has some extra energy to burn off, he'll have a playmate if you come back."

Again, you offer Martin a tight, almost forced smile and shift on your feet. "Thanks Mr. Ødegaard- I'll see you at early drop off tomorrow?"

Martin's stomach sinks. He can't force you to be friendly with him, as much as he wishes you would be. "Yes, you will. Have a good night, Miss. Sunshine."

Martin retreats to the bench he was at earlier and forces himself to continue reading. It only takes a handful of minutes for him to realize that his efforts are pointless; he won't remember a word he has read with his head as messy as it is right now. If you let him know what he'd done wrong, he could fix it. Your stubborn silence and sudden change of mood leaves him scrambling to figure it out on his own, and he's coming up empty. 

Maybe it does all come back to those drinks he'd ordered. He'd stepped out of line with that, firmly crossing a boundary that you drew in the sand. Granted he had no idea that you had drawn one but still, he should've known better than to treat you like an old friend when you were employed at his daughter's school. Whatever it is, he's determined to set things right. Because after running into you in public for the second time in as many weeks, he's determined to get to know you.

Only because of Atla. That's what he tells himself. The way his stomach flips when you call him by his first name has nothing to do with it. Martin's fascination with you comes purely from a place of love for his daughter and a need to see her happy… not because he thinks you're attractive. 

Because he certainly hasn't thought that each time he's seen you lately. No, not at all. Not even once. You aren't even his type- and maybe that's why he's so terrified. Whatever the case, he's already mentally cleared his nightly schedule for the next week in favor of planning to come to the park each day. On the off chance you return, he'll be here waiting. 

[eventinelysplayground]

New Experiments

This story is the third one from my WIP Poll a while back just two left now! I'm not 100% on this fic but I'm overall happy enough with it. This one is a bit different as it focuses more on Emma with a side character that we haven't seen in English yet but she's been in several fan translated events and I wanted to expand on Emma's relationships with people outside of the princes. The only info needed is that Yuel is an apothecary/pharmacist who becomes Emma's teacher after she moved to Jade. I don't know the fandom overlap here but Yuel gave off major Matsu from Sekirei vibes whenever I would read events she's in so that along with the translations was my guide for her. There will be a sequel to this in the future just I wanted to do them as two seperate fics. Yuel and Emma conduct an experiment which leads to both of them being excited for different reasons. WC approx 1379. CW: mentions of pregnancy. Also thank you to the ancient Egyptians for their knowledge which made this story possible.

“Now this plant is quite interesting! It has strong implications as a replacement for some harder to find ones with minimal effect on efficacy which would open up so many possibilities. Oh, but do be careful when handling it as it's thorns are extremely sharp and.. Emma?”

Emma was having a lesson with Yuel on some of the new plants being cultivated at the palace, or at least she was supposed to be having one. All her mind could seem to focus on was the scents.

“Emma!”

Emma's head reflexively moved back as Yuel snapped her fingers in Emma's face.

“Yuel, I'm so so sorry!”

“What's gotten into you Emma? Normally you're a model student but lately it's been hard to get your attention.”

“I know and I'm sorry it's just…”

“Just what?”

“The plants.”

“The plants?”

Emma watched as Yuel looked around at the various plants she had brought out for today's lesson.

“Is one of the new ones bothering you?”

“It’s not just the new ones, it's all of them.”

“All of them? Are you sure?”

“Yes! All these plants and flowers, and the wet soil ugh.”

Emma dropped her head onto the desk in frustration and let out a long sigh.

“I don't know why but any strong scent lately bothers me, I can't even stand the smell of roses anymore!”

Emma looked up at Yuel to see her staring down at her with her arms crossed over her chest and a sneaky smile on her face.

“Let's forget about these for today, I have something else I want your help with.”

“What?”

Emma was yanked from her chair as Yuel pulled her up and started practically rushing out of the room and down the hallway.”

“Wait Yuel, where are we going?”

“First I need to stop by the palace infirmary and pick up what I need for my experiment then we're going to my quarters.”

“What experiment? Can we even do an experiment in your quarters? Yuel? Yuel!?”

Now it was Emma who found herself being ignored, apparently forgotten in Yuels enthusiasm. Just as they reached the infirmary Yuel came to a sudden stop.

“Actually it's probably better if you wait here for me Emma. I'll be right back, don't go anywhere!”

Emma watched as Yuel hurried off into the infirmary. She hadn't been waiting very long when she heard a familiar voice call out to her.

“Emma?”

“Prince Keith!”

“What are you doing outside the infirmary, did you get hurt? Are you alright?”

Emma waited as Keith walked towards her looking concerned.

“It's sweet of you to worry about me but I'm fine.”

“Are you certain? I know you said as much this morning but you really have seemed unwell lately.”

“I'm certain. I'm just waiting for Yuel she said she wanted to-”

“Talk to the physicians about an order that I completely forgot about! It's all sorted now though so if you'll excuse us your Highness but we need to get back to the lesson, come along Emma.”

“Oh okay, I'll see you later Emma.”

“Yes of course!”

Emma once again found herself being dragged along behind a quickly moving Yuel. Once they were safely away from the infirmary Emma spoke up.

“Just what exactly is this experiment if you aren't telling Prince Keith about it?”

“You'll see soon, my quarters aren't far and I promise to explain everything then.”

Those were the events of five days ago and they kept playing over and over in Emma's mind making it hard for her to concentrate on anything else. She had gotten up early and was now just about sprinting through the palace hallways on her way to her teachers quarters. It wasn't easy keeping a secret from Keith and she hated to make him worry about her still but it was best to wait. She reached Yuels door and had barely knocked when it flung open and Yuels arm shot out grabbing her and pulling her inside.

“I was going to go and get you if you hadn't shown up soon.”

Yuel enveloped Emma in an almost smothering hug.

“Come take a look.”

Yuel gestured towards the workbench set up in a corner of her room. Emma let out a breath she wasn't aware she was holding and slowly walked towards it. On top were three dishes containing some seeds, the seeds in the first dish still looked dormant but the seeds in the other two had begun to sprout. It had worked, it had really worked! Emma was hit with waves of emotion and she clasped her trembling hands over her mouth in shock.

“Oh Emma!”

Yuel placed her hands on Emma's shoulders from behind keeping her steady on her feet.

“I…it really worked.”

Emma's voice had been trembling at first but now she was laughing as she looked between Yuel and the seeds.

“We didn't make any mistakes? Everything was how it needed to be for it to be accurate?”

“What kind of questions are those!? We did every step perfectly Emma, our control seeds are responding as they should and our two test seeds are doing just what I told you they would.”

“So then-”

Yuels loud laughter cut off Emma's question.

“Yes Emma I can say with almost eighty percent accuracy that you are with child. You'll still need to wait a month or two for the palace physicians to be able to confirm it physically but that's more just precautionary really.”

Emma was shocked, though not as shocked as she had been when Yuel first explained the experiment to her.

“These are grain seeds but under the right circumstances and environment they have a very special purpose, they can be used to tell if a woman is with child.”

Yuel was staring at Emma with a serious but soft look on her face.

“What, me?”

“Well it's certainly not me!”

“But…what makes you-”

“The aversion to scents. It's not an entirely common symptom but it happens and usually quite early on. These seeds will be able to tell us with an almost eighty percent accuracy.”

Emma sat there blinking at Yuel while still trying to process what she was hearing.

“I've never heard of there being a way to confirm it so early other than well…”

“Most Jadeans are aware of it but the seeds are incredibly finicky so we don't export them. If even one thing is off, the temperature, moisture in the air, exposure to light…any of them can affect the accuracy and render the results invalid so it can only be done by specially trained apothecaries or physicians. Only two of us in the palace have the training required but this is an excellent opportunity to teach you how as well.”

“What if I make a mistake?”

“Don't worry about that. Alongside the one you do we'll have a control as well as one I perform myself, also nothing will be said to anyone outside the royal family or head physician for a while. Although the test is incredibly accurate when done properly there have still been inaccurate or inconclusive results so nothing is announced publicly until the physician's final physical confirmation.”

Emma was pulled out of her reverie by an excited and quickly talking Yuel.

“This is such wonderful news! A new little prince or princess and so many new experiments and formulas to try out, I can hardly wait!”

Emma felt Yuels hands release her shoulders and watched her almost jump up and down with joy.

“New formulas for what?”

“Well first we have to figure out something for your sense of smell. Then if you have trouble keeping down food, something to help with that. A compound to make sure you're getting an adequate amount of nutrients, maybe something to help you sleep later on. You'll definitely need something to help with aching muscles and a new cream to help minimize the stretch marks. That's probably going to be the most difficult one, I mean you're so tiny compared to his Highness…”

Emma sat down in a chair smiling and listening to Yuels obvious enthusiasm then slowly ran a hand over her stomach. She almost couldn't believe the news and was overcome with joy at the thought of the, hopefully small, baby to come.

[lenaswritingandstuff]

Losing Game [Antoine Griezmann x fem!OC] (Chap. III)

Requested: No​

Pairing: Antoine Griezmann x OC!Gabrielle Darian; more to be added.

Warnings: OC's mom is a bitch, English is not my first language!

Wordcount: 4K+

A/N: Thank you for reading! GIF IS NOT MINE. Enjoy!

Previous chapter

CHAPTER III

“He told me”, Sabrina continues, “that they would donate a lot of money and that they will talk about the company and charities on social medias, etc.”

Very strange. Generally, we’re the ones that invite the celebrities. But the entire French National Team is excellent from a marketing point-of-view. Oh God, I sound like my mother.

“Do we need to tell your mo-I mean, the Director of Operations?” Sabrina asked.

“I'll tell her,” I answered. “We never know, but knowing her, she’ll want to impress them and I’m gonna have to restart all the organization. Thanks for letting me know, Sabrina.”

“Of course, beautiful. See you tomorrow.”

“See you.”

I hanged up, and spent my time in the supermarket wondering what my mother will want me to change and how I’m gonna change it. After thirty minutes, I go back home. Louisa is cmoing back in thirty minutes, and even if I’m hungry, I decide to wait for her to eat, but I barely had time to store the groceries that I hear the entrance door open.

“Yo.” She said, putting her school bag on the bar.

“Already here?”

“Yes, the teacher left us leave early. Did you take that apple juice I like?” she asked after noticing the groceries bag.

“Did I ever forget to buy what’s on your list?” I asked, raising my eyebrow.

“No, never. So, how was work?”

“Oh, it was good…Surprising.”

“Why?” she asked, eating a bit of bred.

“Didier Deschamps and the French Team want to come to the gala,” I told her.

“No way! But how could they possibly know about the gala?”

“I have no clue,” I said, realizing I never thought about it. “I guess they saw the article on the website. They’re fast, in that case, considering we published it this morning.” I added.

“If they publicly talk about the company, it will be a great promotion. Your mother will be thrilled.”

“Yes, before she tells me to change everything I prepared, just to impress them.”

“Yeah, probably.”

We prepare lunch together, mostly talking about football players inviting themselves.

“Honestly though, have you seen these handsome dudes?” She laughed. “If we’re lucky enough, we could get one of them.”

We both laughed and I shook my head. I don’t really watch football, but I have to admit, some players are rather handsome. But still, I don’t feel like starting a relationship. We sat to eat, and she tells me about her classes. Like her, I can’t wait to finish college so I can get a job in a translation company and finally leaving the family’s company. I know it’s gonna be hard, as there are not many jobs available in that sector, but I’ll do whatever it takes to be independent, even alienating my family.

“What did you plan to study today?”

“German. It’s not like I’ll ever go to Berlin or Munich, but that exam might compensate for bad marks, so…”

“Good luck. And don’t fall asleep!”

“Me? Never.”

She went to her room muttering against the German language. When I see her German lessons, I’m glad I took Spanish since middle school; even though I’m not good at it at all. I studied in the living room, the television’s sound in the background of my head. Exams are coming soon, for both Louisa and me. I can’t wait to have them, just so the stress can go away – even though it’s gonna be replaced by the anxiety of waiting for the results. After one hour, I got up and went to see Louisa to make sure she wasn’t falling asleep. I knocked on her door, and I heard a “No, I’m ain’t sleeping”. I went back to the living room and stayed focused on my studies. When I decide it’s enough for today, it’s already 5:30 pm. Crap, mother. I took my phone and called her. She finished work earlier today, she then should answer. After a few seconds, she answered at the same moment Louisa came back from her room.

“Yes?”

“It’s me.”

“I know it’s you. What do you want?”

Alright, great.

“It’s about the gala. The French National Team want to come.”

“The football Team?” she asked, more surprised than I expected.

“No, the soap bubbles team,” I retorted, “Of course, the football team.”

“Don’t be insolent. Who did they call?”

“Sabrina,” I answered. “Deschamps called her this morning. He told her they would donate money and promote the company. But how did they know about the gala?”

“It does not matter. Tell Sabrina to call them back to accept the invitation.”

“Alright. So, what am I gonna have to change? We’ll have to put on a show, right?”

“Send me the services you chose. I’ll see that tomorrow.”

“As you wish.” I answered.

And she immediately hangs up. I shook my head and sat beside Louisa on the sofa. She proposes we go shopping tomorrow, in order to clear up our minds, and I accept.

*-*

Between college, studying and the gala’s preparation, the 31st of May arrives way sooner for my liking. Coming home from work, I went directly to pick a dress. I try to tell myself that every detail is organized, but to tell the truth, I had never been more anxious in my entire life. I also try to tell myself that I don’t care what my mother will say about the evening I’m organizing but I know deep down, I’m anxious to see her reaction. I sighed and stared at the dresses I had before noticing a long black dress with straps. As for my hair, I decided to put in a bun with some locks around my face. I put my make-up at the same as Louisa does in our small bathroom. She is still as excited about meeting the football player, but she thankfully has given up on the idea of get one of them. She’s wearing a long red dress and let her curly brown hair down.

“Thank you for coming, bestie,” I told her while putting back my make-up in the cupboard. “It’s really helpful to me.”

“Are you kidding, I wasn’t gonna miss your first night as organizer.” She said smiling me through the mirror.

Once we’re ready, it’s already time to go. Like my mother does, I arrive early at the place to take care of last-minute details, and Louisa is coming with me. Jerome comes picking us up as usual, always so nice. In the car, I can’t help but to bite my nails, which I do when I’m stressing out, and even Louisa’s ‘Tsst!” can’t stop me from doing it. Once we have arrived, Jerome wishes me good luck and assures me everything will go okay. Damnit, give this man a raise already. The photographs, more numerous than last time, that my mother has forced me to invite, are not here yet, which amazingly suits me. I entered the room, and quickly the services’ bosses came to me to tell me everything is ready to welcome the guests. I inspected the decoration, put exactly as planned, and the tables put like my mother usually does.

“You nailed it, Gaby.” Louisa told me, looking around.

“Thank you. Hey, if something wasn't working, you would let me know, wouldn’t you?”

“Of course I would, don’t worry. Relax.”

I checked the last details and the time, and realized the guests should arrive any minute now. I barely had time the waiters coming with plates full of drinks and food and to go place myself by the entrance that the first car is already coming. It’s the adorable elderly lady from the last gala, giving me a big, warm smile.

“Good evening, my dear,” she said before kissing me on the cheek. “I’m glad to see you, you look beautiful.”

“You too, ma’am.” I said, taking the wrinkled hands she gave me. “Thank you for coming.”

“Thank you for inviting me, my dear child. It’s always a pleasure to see the Darian family.”

I invite her to come in, and she goes to Louisa, who she greets warmly. The other guests then arrive, and I pray none of them notices that my hands are sweaty. After a while, Louisa comes to me.

“You parents are not here yet?” she asks. “It’s unlike them to be late.”

“Yes, except when it’s for something involving me.”

Giving only them and the football boys are yet to arrive, I decide to go inside. I ask the waiters and the cooks if everything is okay, and their positive answer relaxes me a little. I go back to the room, psychologically preparing myself to have a conversation with boring, arrogant people when nearly all eyes suddenly turned to the entrance, where a group of twenty people or so just came in. They’re all wearing the same classic yet elegant suit and most of them did their hair. Most of them are silent and look around them with curious looks. I walk to the man with white hair leading them both as like a father and a teacher.

“Good evening,” I said, more intimidated than I thought I would be, before shaking his hand. “It’s very nice to meet you all.”

They all answer with a nod, a smile or a rather shy “Good evening”.

“Nice to meet you, too.” answered Didier Deschamps warmly. “Thank you for allowing us to come.”

“Thank you for asking. It’s not everyday that we have high-level athletes coming at our galas. I hope you’ll have a good night.”

“No doubt about it”, he smiled. “Benjamin was not able to come tonight because, well, of a last-minute problem, I hope you’ll excuse him. He says hello.”

“Oh,” I said, “I hope he will be fine.”

“Yes, thank you”

I vaguely nodded and stared at the 22 players standing in silence in the entrance.

“Well, have a good night.”

“Thank you very much.”

Most of the men gave me smile and I smiled back. Then they scattered, and right after, a silhouette came in, and I immediately recognize my mother. My mind is screaming at me to turn my back and ignore her, but I don’t have the energy to start a fight. I walked towards her, more insecure that I wished I was. She looks around with a probing look before turning to me.

“Hi, mom.”

“The decoration isn’t that bad. I would have picked another color, though. Gabrielle, what is that awful dress you’re wearing? The color is just dreadful. This robe is barely good to be wore at a cocktail party. Especially with famous guests…And let’s not talk about your hair.”

She sighed heavily and I felt a red light coming. She grabbed a glass when a waiter passes before us, took a sip and grimaced.

“For God’s sake, Gabrielle, what is that champagne? I specifically told you to pick Mr. Sandrin’s champagne!”

“I did!” I defended myself, trying not to raise my voice. “This is the champagne you asked for.”

She stared at her glass and then raised her shoulders, not convinced.

“Dad and Noah aren’t here?” I asked, changing the topic.

“Your father had an impediment, and your brother is sick.”

With Noah, “sick” means “at a party” with the option “girl” or “has a hangover”. I try to see Louisa among the guests but can’t find anywhere. My mother tells a waiter to come and grab a hors d’oeuvre.

“Gabrielle, do you even know how to read? I thought I told to the Menu number Three! The Second one is horrible.”

“Well you know what? Next time why don’t you just organize your freaking gala yourself?”

Before she can answer, I turned around and nearly ran to the bar, my eyes watering. On my way to the bar, I rapidly meet of the footballers’ blue gaze – Antoine Griezmann. Hell, now one of tonight’s most important guests saw me cry.

“Good evening, Miss.” The barman said with a smile. “What can I serve you?”

“Something strong.”

“Coming up.”

I closed my eyes and tried to breathe. I usually only drink champagne at galas and don’t drink alcohol outside of galas, but right now I need to relax. At the same time the barman put a glass in front of me, I hear a voice in my back.

“Hello. Gabrielle, am I right?”

I turned around, and to my surprise, saw Kylian Mbappe standing before me.

“Oh, hello.” I answered with a voice that I hoped sounded confident. “Yes, you’re right. Is everything alright?”

“Yes, thank you. Very cool night," he said, pointing out the room.

“That’s nice of you.”

“What it will be, sir?” the barman asked Kylian.

“Do you do alcohol-free cocktails?”

“Sure. Right away.”

The French Team’s striker walked to the bar, which gave the perfect spot to observe him. He was actually cute, with his frank smile and his sparkling eyes. I supposed he was barely older than me, maybe by one year or two. He thanked the barman, grabbed his glass, and then turned to me. We started talking about anything and everything, and his kindness and his sweetness almost made me forget my mother’s comments. It’s obvious he remained humble and down to earth despite the fame. He asked me about the company, and I asked him about football, his club, and the World Cup coming up. Suddenly, as he’s giving an answer I’m doing my best to understand – I didn’t know anything about football – my eyes move far behind him. Antoine Griezmann is talking with one of his teammates – Lucas Hernandez, if I’m not mistaken – and some other guests, but his eyes are on me.

I tried to focus on what Kylian was saying, but every fifteen seconds, my eyes turned to Antoine who continued to staring at me, and every time I looked at him my heart beated faster. For God’s sake, dude, why are you looking at me like that? Don’t be silly, Gabrielle, he’s probably looking at Kylian. A few minutes later, I’m still giving a quick glance at Antoine when a young man dressed exactly like Kylian comes to us. He was rather tall, pale with blond hair and tired brown eyes, who looked a bit older than Kylian. He had like him a big smile, but seemed more confident than Kylian.

“Sorry to interrupt, but Hugo wishes to see you, Kylian. It’s urgent, apparently.”

“Oh,” said Kylian. “I’ll just go then. See you later, I hope,” he added to me.

“Of course.”

Even though I didn’t know anything about football, I still knew who the most famous were. And this blondie wasn’t one of them, I thought. But I didn’t have to ask who he was, as he’s quicker:

“I don’t think we've met before. The name is Emilien.”

“Gabrielle,” I answered politely.

“What your family does is really wonderful. I mean it.”

“That’s nice of you.”

“Maybe we could have a partnership? I’ll give you my number and-”

“Emilien?”

I jumped and turned to see a young man with dark blond hair and large blue eyes standing before us, his hands in his pockets. My hearts stopped, and I almost let my glass fell.

“Ah,” said Emilien, “Yeah, Antoine?”

My heart was beating so fast I could hear pound in my head.

“The coach wants to see ya, it’s important.” Antoine said.

My, they sure do have a lot of important things to say to each other.

“Oh. I’m coming, then. See you later,” he added to my direction.

I just nodded, and he disappeared. Antoine took a step in my direction and gave me a smile.

“I hope they weren’t too awful”, he said with the same smile.

“Not at all,” I reassured him with a smile.

Damn it, his eyes are so blue. Blue like the sea, soft, and warm.

“Your teammates are very nice.”

“Kylian thinks you’re very nice, too.”

I searched for him, but he was invisible.

“You’re the one that organized this gala, right?” he asked.

“I am.”

“You did very well. I love the decorations.”

“Well you’re alone in that,’ I muttered.

“I-I accidentally heard your conversation with your mother.”

Sweet Jesus.

“Oh no, I’m sorry. You must think I’m a crybaby who can’t handle her mother’s critics.” I said, embarrassed and looking at the floor.

“Not at all,” he assured. “I never speak ill of someone else’s mother, but what she said is totally wrong. The decorations are nice, the two glasses of champagne I had were really good and, personally, I think the food is good as heck” he finished with a little laugh.

His laugh is so cute and contagious that I can only laugh as well.

“For real, you’ll have to give me the name of the cook.”

“Sure.”

“Believe me, you shouldn’t let other’s opinions get to you – even your mother’s,” he said with a voice that sounded sweeter, and more adult. “Especially since no one agrees with her – and agree with me.”

“That’s nice of you to say that. And you’re right.”

He smiled again, and I realized I never saw such a beautiful smile. Hell, everything about him is beautiful. The way that strand of hair falls on his forehead, his childish smile, the way his suit fit perfectly on his body which I imagine fit and firm…I felt my cheek turn pink and suddenly felt hot. We started chatting, but unlike earlier with Kylian or Emilien, I’m only focused on him and the words that come out of his mouth. I don’t know how much time had passed, five minutes or five hours. I can no longer hear the waiters walking, the soft music in the background or the conversations around us. It’s like…They was only us on the planet. I answered his questions, and saw him bit his bottom lip. He got closer to me, and I shivered when he rose his hand and put my hair on the side of my face back. Before I can even breathe, his face gets closer to mine, so much so that I can smell his intoxicating perfume and his breath on my neck. His hand is only a few millimeters from my cheek, and my heart is beating so fast that its gonna explode.

“Gabrielle!”

A cold hand grabbed my arm, and reality comes back. The voices, the somehow fresh air, the food’s smell coming from the kitchen. The charm is broken.

“Come here, hurry,” my mother said, pulling my arm before I could react. “You must announce diner!”

Antoine’s eyes became more and more distant, and soon I can’t see him anymore no matter how I lean. My mother puts a microphone in my hand and tell me to hurry with her hand. I cleared my throat.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the diner.”

Slowly, the guests went towards the round tables, and instinctively, I look for Antoine. Louisa, who went missing, comes from nowhere and smiles at me.

“Hi there.”

“Lou’, where the hell have you been?” I asked her.

“I was talking with Mr. and Mrs. Aubret,” she said with a bit surprised voice. “I saw you talking with Griezmann, I thought you didn’t need me.”

“It’s fine.”

Around us, people are sitting, and we do imitate them. The adorable elderly lady comes slowly and sits in front of us. Her smile comforts me, and I smile back. My mother then arrives and sits silently. A few days ago Louisa begged to let take care of the seats, and I eventually gave up and said yes – only if none of the players would be sitting with us – and I suspect her of putting us with important people so my mother can’t talk too much. I need to talk to her about it. The dishes arrive one after the others, and even though I’m talking with Louisa and the adorable lady – whose name seems to be Mrs. Orment – my eyes are looking for a striker. I finally find him, sitting at a table not far away from us. His eyes meet mine and he gives me a smile. I’m about to smile back when Didier Deschamps, sitting on his left, lean towards him and whispers something in his ear. Antoine vaguely nods his head before concentrating on his plate.

“Gaby?” Louisa asked. “Are you okay?”

“What? Oh, yeah, yeah, of course.”

“The diner is delicious, my dear,” Mme Ornent said cheerfully. “You chose well.”

“Absolutely,” his neighbor, a doctor who were about to retire soon, said. “You have good taste, miss. It must be a family thing, right, Anita?”

My mother had a laugh I knew was hypocritical and took her glass.

“You’re too kind, Doctor.”

Thankfully the dessert arrives soon after.

“Damn, that cake be good as heck!” a voice which I guessed was Adil Rami’s said loudly and his neighbors laughed.

The other guests seemed to like it too, and that comforted me a bit. I look in Antoine’s direction without realizing it, and I see him talking with the CEO of a multinational company. Once diner is over, those who wants to have a coffee walk toward the bar. Then arrives the auction, which is eventually very successful.

“Excuse-me,” I said once the auction is over.

I really need some fresh air. I grabbed my bag and went to the door. I tried to breath, and a few seconds later, I felt better. To my surprise, I saw a silhouette coming.

“Oh,” Emilien said while walking to me, “you like some calm sometimes, too?”

“Oh yes,” I said with a smile. “You can feel like suffocating at this kind of event. Even if you’re used to it.”

“You’re doing very well, though,” he smiled.

“I appreciate it. You still want to do the partnership?” I asked him.

“You’re reading my mind,” he laughed. “I’d be happy to do what I can: meet people with illness, sign autographs or jerseys, make videos to promote the charity…”

“That’s good, because you’re very likely to be asked to do that,” I laughed too.

“Perfect then!”

“I’m gonna give you the number of the person in charge of that, she’ll explain everything.”

“No problem.”

I opened my bad and took out a piece of paper and a pen. I scribbled a phone number and gave it to him.

“Thanks a lot. It’s really important to me help others, you know…”

“That’s wonderful.”

Suddenly, Didier Deschamps, followed by the rest of the players, arrived and the coach turned to the blond man.

“Emilien, there you are. Sorry to interrupt, but we are leaving.”

“Very well, coach. Goodbye, then,” he said after turned to me. “I guess we will see each other again at some point.”

“I think so. See you soon, then.”

He smiled, and went to his teammates. When Emilien joined the group, Kylian walked up to me with a smile.

“It was a fun night.”

“I’m glad you had fun.”

“Say, do you wanna come to the match against Italy tomorrow night? With your friend Louisa?”

I didn’t see that coming. I didn’t go to a football game since I was ten – Noah’s birthday gift – and I barely remembered it.

“Well, yeah, with pleasure.”

“Great, I’ll send you tickets. If you want to invite other people, please let me know.”

“That’s nice of you.”

“See you tomorrow, then.”

“See you.”

I expect all of them to get in the cars, but it was Deschamps’ time to walk up to me.

“Thank you for tonight. Do you mind me asking you something?”

“Please go ahead, sir.” I answered.

“Would you mind mentioning us in the article you will write about tonight’s gala?”

“Hum, no, not at all. May I ask why?”

“Oh, well, people sometimes think that with money and success, football players forget about helping others and compassion. I’d like to prove, in some way, that it’s not true when it comes to my men.”

“I see. Well, I sure will be talking about you guys.”

“Thank you very much. See you soon, young lady, take care.”

He patts my arm in a fatherly way and showed his players the cars. They all waved at me and said discreet “goodbye” which I say back. I hope the ones I didn’t talk to didn’t find me mean or rude. They all get in the different black cars that brought them, and when Antoine walks past me, his arm grazed mine and he stared at me until he sits in the car.

NEXT CHAPTER

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Masterlist

[youngcollectedtired]

Class 1-a x New Student Reader

I wrote this to go along with a quirk I made for myself. I'd already made a quirk for a character who's gonna be paired with Kirishima so this is basically just if I was in MHA. It's still an x reader so enjoy. This story is mainly for fun and practice so I can get to know the class 1-a characters for my newest book. It may or may not turn into an actual book.

I just wanna say if I could draw this would probably be in a comic book. But I cannot draw so here we are. Also I haven't read the manga

Warnings? Mineta being a perv

Pairings? Possibly Sero or Todoroki or Shinso... or literally any of the guys I'm in love and i have a problem

Part 1/?

Quirk? It's complicated but based on the chronic illness called Lupus

You'd heard rumors about how easily Class 1-a attracted trouble. This made you feel better about yourself, but it also made you feel bad. You too had your fair share of trouble run ins. Being sister to the leader of the league villains left you with many watchful eyes in the underground world.

Few heroes knew of your relation and even fewer knew of your quirk. Your mentor, Hawks thought the safest place for you to be was UA. Yes, they'd had a run-in or two with villains, but because of it, they were the most capable to defend and fight with you. And Eraserhead it seemed was a great teacher, maybe he could help you learn to control it.

It was false hope, you knew that. Still, you were excited to meet your new classmates.

"Alright, class we've got a new student. Today's morning lesson will be replaced with you helping her settle in and getting to know her," you could hear Mr. Aizawa's voice from the hallway. He sounded bored and tired almost, but you assumed that was just his nature.

You heard excited chatter and that caused the nerves to worsen.

The principal Mr. Nezu smiled, "Don't worry they’ll like you."

You nodded your head, your fingers pulling at and adjusting your tie. You liked the school uniform, the skirt was shorter than you thought it would be that was an easy fix. Knee-waisted white socks with two red stripes on the top made you feel better.

The door opened and you entered. Aizawa barely glanced at you before nodding to Principle Nezu, "I'm leaving her in your trusted hands." You could hear the door attempting to close behind you which forced you forward. You felt every eye on you.

"This is Y/N L/N," he gestured to you. You'd forgotten your last name was changed, the Tomura sure to drag attention.

You bowed deeply.

"Hello, sorry to barge in your class. Nice to meet you."

You could hear whispers and you unconsciously touched your white horn, one on another side of your head. They were filed down to about two inches, still noticeable in your curly hair. You knew the grey streaks in your hair and in your eyes would cause many questions.

A boy with green hair raised his hand quickly, "What's your quirk?" He asked his eyes sparkling it seemed like.

You bit your lip but before you could answer Mr. Aizawa cleared his throat, "You're all dismissed. I expect her moved in by lunch, you have combat training this afternoon."

A girl with pink hair and yellow horns shook her fist excitedly, "YES! Feels like forever since we've had a lesson like that." Everyone stood up, while Mr. Aizawa slumped into his seat his eyes closing as he rested his head on his desk. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion.

"Don't worry, he does that a lot. I'm Uraraka," one of the girls said and you immediately put her name to her face.

"Nice to meet you," you beamed.

"She's so cute! I'm Mina," the girl with pink skin and yellow horns yelled excitedly.

"Hi! Thank you," you bowed slightly, causing her to shake her head wildly, "Don't bother we're all the same here! I'll introduce you to everyone."

On the way to the dorms, you found easy ways to remember everyone. Somehow each name fit a person. Plus you'd recognized a few people from the sports festival. You were thankful none of them asked personal questions, instead they choose to get to know you on the surface.

"Is your hair naturally that color?" "Yes, it changed its color when I was 6." "Do you play any instruments?" "Kind of, but I can paint better!" "Are you a good fighter?" "I'd like to think so but I guess we'll see this afternoon."

You also began to piece together the groups of close friends, the rivals, and even those who shared certain hobbies or hardships.

"You look nice in a skirt," Mineta complimented a smirk on his face, his mouth-watering. You knew his intentions, still glaring at him seemed to do nothing until Bakugo stepped in front of him his hand filling with small puffs of smoke.

"Thanks," you mumbled as you adjusted your skirt attempting to pull it down.

Bakugo let out a gruff, "Whatever," and joined his group of friends' hands tucked in his pocket.

"Sorry about him," Tsu stepped up next to you, "Mineta is our resident pervert. Be careful around him."

You nodded in thanks.

Your room had most of your bigger things moved in, you figured that was Hawks doing. On your bed were a few pictures clipped together with some picture frames, and journals.

The only thing you had to do was hang your clothes up, fix your desk and put your pictures up. The girls all volunteered, the boys cleaning around the dorm to make you feel more at home.

You hid the pictures figuring you'd go through them later tonight. Besides, being pictured next to a number 2 hero would definitely turn some heads.

"Your Japanese is good but it doesn't sound like your first language," Momo began as the girls made their way down to the common room, "What is your first language?"

You chuckled, "You're very observant, my first language was English, then Japanese, and then Russian," you explained.

Cue excited boys and curious girls.

Denki grinned, "Wow how did you learn?!"

Before you could answer, the bell rang the dorm common room almost seemed to shake. You decided it was only because it was your first time hearing it.

"Come on Dunce face, you'll get your answer at lunch," Bakugo grunted the first to make his way towards the doors leading out of the dorms.

No one argued with him food also on their minds and stomachs.

I hope I can fit in well, you thought to yourself grateful for Mina and Uraraka both of them explaining different things to you. Whether or not you knew what they were you were happy all the same.

[onlymexsarah]

Promise pt. 5 || Kaz Brekker

Summary: When the life of Kaz is threated by her presence, she had to make a crucial decision that will bring misunderstanding among the two of them. Now that he has his Fire Girl, will he be able to keep her, or Dirtyhand will mess everything up?

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x grisha!Reader

Warning: angst, Kaz being Dirtyhands for ten minutes straigh, spoiler of Six of Crows, my english.

A/N: Thank all of you for the comments, the likes and the shares. I didn't expected that this little idea would have captured your attention, really you made my writing more enjoyable and easy. I'm so sorry if I'm late but I've been sick these days and I couldn't finish the chapter :( there are a lot of things that I want to tell you, see you at the end of the chapter ;)

PT. 1 - PT. 2 - PT. 3 - PT. 4

MAIN MASTERLIST

Few days passed with the girl lying on her bed recovering from the wound that the fight gave her.

When she opened her eyes after have fainted in Kaz's arms, fear had been the first to come to visit her. Fear of being already tied at some bed on a ship, sold at the Shu that would have been more than happy to make experiment on her. She was scared that the temptation must have been too much for Kaz Brekker to have such a value grisha in his hands, but then she noticed she was in her room at the Slat and a rush of tiredness hit her making her sleep again.

The other times she opened her eyes someone among Jesper, Inej and Wylan was always at her side, changing the bandage and bringing her food.

Inej told her that her father, Jan Van Eck, was now aware that she was part of the Dregs, and she was under Kaz Brekker's protection. Everyone was aware she was a grisha, but neither Jesper and Inej seemed to mind her lie, maybe because they had secrets too, she though.

A morning a letter came for Kaz, a letter from her father.

Mister Brekker

we never had the occasion to meet, and you'll agree with me when I say that I wish to keep things like this. Voice is spread that you have my beloved daughter with you. I hope you understand that she is a danger for this city. I've sent her away many years ago with the only interest of protecting Kerch from her, but I see that I could have done things in a better way.

It is as a father that I ask you to bring her to me so that I can repair my mistakes. She is a danger for all of us if not under control, Mister Brekker, and I am sure you saw it yourself last night. She has to face a trial for her crimes and be sent where she can't be a danger for anyone anymore. If she doesn't come back in seven days, I should consider you and your Dregs as her accomplices, planning to attack Ketterdam and all Kerch using her power.

Surely a smart men as yourself doesn't want those kind of problems.

Hope to see my city safe again,

Jan Van Eck.

Inej had brough the letter at her in the afternoon, and in the evening the grisha girl was already planning her escaping from Ketterdam for the third time in her life.

She didn't want to leave Wylan, hell she had promised him they wouldn't split up ever again, but if her plan worked then he would have been able to follow her after few months. If the Van Eck siblings moved together they would have caught too much attention, and they had to do everything in secrets.

Wylan tried to convince her to stay. He was sure that Kaz would have helped her, Wylan was sure that Kaz Brekker would have sealed all Ketterdam to keep her save, and even if as her brother he didn't like her closeness with the Bastard of the Barrel, he couldn't deny that it was useful.

"I'm putting all of you in danger just staying here. If I go away father will have nothing to threat you with." she said putting her clothes in her bags. Seven days, she couldn't give her father the time to close all the harbours in Kerch. If she wanted to go she had to do it as soon as possible.

"Talk to Kaz! Let see what he says, please." begged Wylan grabbing her hands in his to stop her.

She looked in his beautiful blue eyes and saw hope. "You really think Kaz has the power to keep me here?"

Her brother smirked. "I think Kaz would tear apart this city to keep you save. Talk to him, keep your options open."

Dirtyhands would never fight a battle where he couldn't win money, but Y/n was willing to try. That night after dinner she decided she would speak with Kaz and see if he was willing to keep her.

"Let see what the great Kaz Brekker think about it." she sighed putting her arm around Wylan's shoulder and walking downstair where their dinner waited them.

Kaz Brekker sat in his office, in his gloved hands the red handkerchief and Jan Van Eck's letter. Before that morning the death of Van Eck had been one of the many he wanted to deal with for what he had done to his Fire Girl, but now his death had taken a shape, colours and many details that Kaz's was adding one by one.

Brick by brick, Kaz would take all his enemies down, and Y/n was more than welcome to take her revenger with him.

He went downstair at the second floor walking toward Y/n's room. He wanted to check how she was, and speak with her about how she wanted to deal with her father. He didn't know if she wanted his actual death, but he was just fine with torture.

When he reached the door and looked inside his blood froze. All her things were packed in three bags, all her clothes were gone from her wardrobe and none of her objects were around the room. Neither the little portrait of she and baby Wylan that she kept on her bedside table before falling asleep.

She is leaving you.

These words felt like a stab in his chest, like someone had taken the oxigen from his lungs. Would she, leave him? Yes. Y/n would find a better life everywhere out Kerch, it was reasonable that she was already packing. When she wanted to leave? Where she wanted to go?

He knew nothing about it and Kaz Brekker always knew everything. Especially of what happened in his Slat. But this time the girl was leaving him, again, and she hadn't had talked with him about it. She hadn't advised him. Did you really think she was going to live this life just for you? For a man who can't even hold her hands without hyperventilate? A man who can't give her the love she deserve?

The fear he saw in her eyes when she saved his life with her power wasn't because she was feared of his rejection; she feared that he would have send her out of the Dregs, without protection and away from her brother.

He stormed back in his office, anger filled his boody and what else? Disappointment? Sadness? He was angry with himself because he had been a fool again. He had let someone playing with him again, that's what Y/n had been doing. She had been toying with him. She had made sure to have a safe place where live, a job and her brother beside her. Every little nice things she did for him was just to keep him close, to keep Dirtyhands at bay.

Like a fury he threw everything that was on his desk on the floor with his arms. Documents, the handkerchief, the letters, were all on the floor but he couldn't care less. She wanted to leave? Fine. Dirtyhands didn't care.

A known shiver crossed his spine before he heard a knock at his door.

"What?" he didn't look up when the girl entered, too focus on something in the drawers of his desk.

"Wow, and I though to be the one who had a bad day." she joked looking the mess at his feet.

He didn't smile, or smirked. He kept his eyes on something she coudn't see. "What bussiness?"

What bussiness. Those words were the greeting in Ketterdam when two bussiness men met, but the grisha girl though that she and Kaz had passed that step. He must had really a bad day, and it could have been because of the letter...she though sadly.

Who knew what other problems her father had caused around Ketterdam to earn the attention of Kaz, to push him to hand her in his hands.

"My father...I don't want any of you to be in danger because of me." she said carefully walking closer to his desk. A glimp of red captured her eyes but the pain at her waist made her close her eyes for a second.

"I'd say it's too late for it, isn't it?" he asked coldly. She took a step behind, taken back by his coldness toward her. "You seemed to enoy keeping secrets, didn't you? Do you know how easier it would have been knowing about your being grisha months ago?"

That wasn't the boy who had brough her in his arms out from the gala. He wasn't the boy who fought beside her, spied beside her and saved her a couple of time.

"I am sorry, I truly am Kaz. But I know what is the price of being a grisha here...it wouldn't have been easy for me walking with a target on my back. I have done it my whole life."

He refused to look her in the eyes, and it was driving her crazy. Was he really that mad at her that he couldn't bare even the sight of her?

"You decided for yourself, a thing you tend to do often I see." she was sure he had never spoken to her like that, neither in his bad days, and Kaz Brekker had a lot of bad days. "You swore loyalty to the Dregs, to the Crows. If you can't trust us then you shouldn't stay here."

He had said the crucial words, and there was no going back. She wanted to leave, then he would make sure to let her believe that he didn't care. That he didn't care about not finding his hot coffee on his desk again, or that from that day on he wouldn't feel the shivers in his spine anymore. He pretended to not care about not seeing her anymore. She had left him once, he could survive it a second time.

"That's it? That's what you want?" she felt her voice dying in her throat. Was her mistake that big? You knew that once Kaz knew what you were he would have pushed you away like everyone else. 'No one will understand you as the other of your kind', Baghra once told her, but when she met Kaz she believed that her old teacher was wrong. Kaz Brekker had been her safe harbour when no one else would care about her, was she so easily replaceable for him?

"You would have leave anyway at some point, you said it yourself the first time we met at the Club. Today, tomorrow, in five years...I don't see the difference." he shrugged like he didn't care.

He doesn't, her mind reminded her.

"Alright then...I don't want to be of any trouble to you anymore..." she whispered with her hands behind her back. She hated how little she felt, but he was sendind her away. Kaz Brekker, the boy she'd die for. The boy who had let her felt hope again after years, the boy who made her laugh even when he surely didn't mean it. The boy in who she was willing to put the most important years of her long life, that boy was sending her away without looking back.

"Then go." he said fixing his eyes in hers. She could feel the sharpness of his eyes cutting her chest.

"Fine, then I'll just-" she stopped talking when her eyes landed on the red thing she had seen before. A red handkerchief. Her feet moved on their own will. Before she could register what was happening she had the red handkerchief in her hands, her eyes fixed on the three letters on it. W. V. E.

"Y/n don't-" Kaz stood up trying to stop her but it was too late.

"Why do you have my brother's hand-" she was confused, but then her eyes raised to the boy in front of her. His brown eyes, his dark hair and pale skin, and in a second her mind brough her a memory.

The little boy smiled standing before her. He was at the same height of her belly, but his eyes seemed older.

"I have still things to do, and people I need to find. " the last words said with rage.

"Take care of yourself, boy. Don't let the bad days winning your good ones, there is always light at the end of a tunnel; you only have to walk a little more."

And then another.

"What is you name little boy?"

"K-..." he stopped for a long moment thinking about it. He looked the girl beside him and even if he wanted to trust her he just couldn't after what happened. "Jordie..."

"J-Jordie?" she asked, her voice trembling. "I-...You are not him, aren't you?" he stayed silent, looking her like a statue. "You would have told me if you were him...Kaz you are not the little boy I met eight years ago, right?!"

Her voice raised squeezing the handkerchief in her right fit.

She saw him gulped before answering slowly. "Yes, I am."

She took two huge steps back breathing eavily. He had known me all along. "Why you've never said anything? That day when you approached me, you knew who I was and you offered me a...job..."

"Can you keep a secret?" she asked touching his shoulder with her own. The boy, whose name wasn't obviously Jordie, nodded looking her curiously. She smirked bringin her left hand on her right one and rotating them slowly. A flame came out from her right palm, little but still powerful; red and orange like the handkerchief she had given him before.

The boy's eyes shone marveled looking the flame on her palm. "You are a grisha!"

The truth hit her hard. She raised her eyes in his letting him see the betrayal. "You had always knew what I was. That's why you gave me the job...you didn't care that I was new, you didn't care that I was the girl you met when you was a child. You wanted an Inferni to work for you!"

Every words, every attention, every talk they shared were all lies. Nothing of what he said was true, Kaz Brekker didn't need a reason, he didn't need a reason to give a job to a girl new in town, but it was clear that Kaz Brekker always had a reason. She had been only too foolish to not understand everything before.

She thought she was good to keep a secret, but something like her power couldn't pass unnoticed to Kaz Brekker. She had been a fool to believe he didn't know about her power. It was the only reason he kept her in the Dregs since the beginning.

"An inferni would have been very useful, but you have proved to know how to do your job perfectly without your power. Now, if you want to go you are free to do so. Nothing bind you here." he said, his voice cold as death.

You bound me here, she wanted to shout. But it had been Kaz's plan all along. Making her believe she was different, making her believe he saw her.

"Nothing." she repeated before walking away from his office, leaving the boy alone with the loudly silent that filled the room, staring at the handkerchief that she let fall on the ground, the only thing that had always bound them.

***

The next morning Kaz woke up and knew immediately that something was wrong. He took his cane and walked downstairs to the kitchen where he heard people talking out loud.

"I swear Jesper, when I see him I-" Wylan stop talking in the exact moment Kaz stepped in the room. The red haired boy fixed his eyes on him and before he could understand what was happening Wylan was yelling at him with all the rage he felt. "How dare you coming here like nothing happened!?"

Jesper had to put his arms around Wylan's torso to keep him from throwing himself on Kaz. "Last time I checked this was my Slat."

"And you find amusing sending people away, don't you?" Wylan spoke spitting venom from his mouth. "She needed help and you turned your back at her!"

Now Kaz needed few minutes to make his brain, still sleepy, working to connect the dots. It was clear that Wylan was talking about his sister, who seemed to have played the victim with her own brother.

"If you want to know, merchling, she decided her will herself. She came to me to let me know she was leaving." Kaz shrugged walking toward coffee machine. He didn't have the strengh to face an angry boy if he wasn't properly awake.

"As hell she did. She came to ask you what to do and you sent her away." Kaz let his words running in his head for a while, studying them one by one.

He didn't..."When she came in my office she had already decided." he refused to tell them he had seen her bags ready in her room, he refused to let someone know he cared.

"No Kaz, she didn't." This time Inej spoke, he hadn't even noticed she was there. "She wanted to leave to protect you from her father, but Wylan convinced her to slow down and come to you to ask what to do."

No, no, it was not possible. "When she came in your office she hadn't decided yet. You gave her the answer, Kaz." Jesper spoke keeping his hands on Wylan's shoulders, who now was sat on a chair with his face in his hands.

I would have noticed if she was asking me what to do. She had her bags ready...she came to me to tell me...his thoughs were running wild inside his head.

"That's it? That's what you want?"

Kaz tried to put his thoughs together. He tried to find a logic of what had happened the night before.

"You had always knew what I was. That's why you gave me the job...you didn't care that I was new, you didn't care that I was the girl you met when you was a child. You wanted an Inferni to work for you!"

No, no, no. Everything was so wrong again. He though she was going to leave him and he had let her believe that he had used her all this time. He though she was leaving him...that was the only thing he had needed to loose his mind.

"You didn't know..." whispered Inej surprised.

Kaz couldn't trust his voice enough to not break in front of everyone so he just shoke his head slowly looking the Suli girl in the eyes.

"What have you done..."murmured Jesper rubbing his eyes with his hand. "Alright, if you hurry you should arrive before the schooner leaves."

"Fifth harbour?" Kaz asked with raspy voice.

"Yes! Go!" said the Zemeni boy excited. "I love a dramatic romance."

He didn't let him repeated twice, ready to run if he had to he walked toward the door when Wylan's voice stopped him.

"Brekker, bring her back." Please, was the word the boy let unspoken.

He nodded before running toward the harbour. He took just his cloat at the door, leaving his hat behind. He couldn't let her leave again. He had to arrive in time, and if he didn't he would have swim until he'd found himself on the schooner and ask sorry to her for his infinity dullness.

"Alright then...I don't want to be of any trouble to you anymore..."

She wasn't a trouble, he wanted to shout in the air. She had never been a trouble, he was the wrong one. He was the twisted, crooked, problematic who couldn't stop himself from hurt her everytime.

"My father...I don't want any of you to be in danger because of me."

Even when she was the one in danger, she would think about him first. He didn't see it last night, too focused on accusing her of betrayal. Betrayal of what? She hadn't broken any vows she made. She wasn't bind to him, she own him nothing and surely Ketterdam did nothing to earn her protection.

Since the first day she had stayed on her own will, she had stayed beside him even when he pushed everyone away. That's what got under his skin, her perseverence. She kept fighting for him, she kept seeing good in him and the only thing he had been capable of was making her feel used and unwanted.

He saw the harbour and he barely noticed that he hadn't used his cane. It would have just slowed me, he thought already searching his girl with the eyes.

He owed her an explanation, he owed her a lot of apologies, and then she would decide if she wanted to stay. Kaz swore to everyone who was listening that if Y/n chose to stay in Ketterdam with him, he would have made sure to be worth her choice. He would fight everyday to go trought his boundaries for her, with her. He would be the man she deserved.

"The schooner for Os Kervo." Kaz asked urgently to a man. He knew Y/n, she would find a safe home in Ravka at the Little Palace where the grisha were safe and strong.

"The first one left this morning at four bells, the next it's at the berth twenty-four, leaves in half bell." the man answered.

Kaz didn't think twice and ran toward the schooner with his heart in his throat. Please, saints if you exist make sure she hadn't already left.

He felt pathetic. Never in his life he had ever prayed, but he though that if it gave him a chance to see her again that it was worth a try.

He arrived at the schooner, but looking around he didn't see her. She must be already on board, he though and without difficulty he went on the ship.

There wasn't many people, but from what Kaz knew the grisha girl could have been already in her room and there was no way to find her before that schooner left.

He felt a shiver in his spine, telling him that she was close, but he didn't know where to look. Right, left, he looked everywhere. People around him looked him worried.

She can't be gone, he kept reapeting in his head like a mantra.

"Came here to bring me back to my father?" a voice said from above him. "How much did he offer to you? Must be a lot to affront a grisha alone."

His heart missed a beat and when he looked over his head he though he might start to believe in saints.

She was there, perched on one of the boom. Her hood was up hiding her face like she always did when she was out of their zone. She was a wanted grisha now, and he felt a grip on his heart at the though that she was used to that life of a runner.

You are not alone anymore, Fire Girl, he though vividly.

"I thought you had decided to leave..." he said. It didn't sound like an apologize at all...Damn Saints, there were a bilions things he wanted to say her, and yet his throat felt dry when he could talk.

"I did." her voice was sharped as a blade and cold as ice.

He gulped, I deserve this. "I know..." He had a flashback of their first conversation at the Crows Club, and cold shivers ran in his blood. I will not make the same mistake twice. "I should have told you who I was since the beginning."

"Maybe if I knew I didn't have to hide my power you could have had your personal inferni sooner." it was his fault. He had let her believe that he wanted her just for her power, but it wasn't true. Kaz Brekker kept her with the Dregs because he couldn't bare the though of her being hurt or threated.

"Could you get off from that boom? Please..." the last word burned in Kaz's throat like fire. It wasn't easy for him to say out loud his feelings, but he knew it would have been the only thing to make her stay. He owed her the truth.

She scoffed and jumped, landing in front of him with the lightness of a feather. Crossing her arms over her chest she studyed him from under her hood, waiting for him to speak first.

You want me sto stay, you have to say it, her posture told him.

"I saw your bags in your room, I though you wanted to leave me, the Dregs. I would understand if it what you wish, but you have to know that I was angry. Angry because I though you didn't trust me. You had just packed all your things without talking to me first, I though...I though you..." said those words Kaz brekker, a voice said in his mind. "I though you used me as a protection, nothing else. And when you showed up in my office I though you were going to say me you were leaving. No question, no mouners."

She stayed silent for a bit, surely surprised by his words. He couldn't see her whole face from his height, and he needed to use all his self control to not take it and push it down.

"The only reason I decided to leave was because my father knew about you. I knew he would have used you against me if I stayed, and I couldn't put you in danger just because I wanted to be selfish." her voice had softened a bit, but it was still sharp as she was ready for any attack from him. "Wylan convinced me that you would have helped me, that you would have been willing to fight for me. But when I come to you, I find Dirtyhands planning my departure. And what I find out? That you kept me under your roof just because you knew I was a grisha."

"It's not true." he stopped her firmly. "I knew you were a grisha, but never in my head I though about using you for your power."

"Then what other reason to keep the truth about our first meeting from me?"

Now it's the moment. Don't let your shame eat you alive, put yourself together and take your Fire Girl back.

"Because I was ashamed of the man I became. Because if you knew who I was you would have seen that the little boy you met eight years ago doesn't exist anymore. You would have seen that I failed you..." saying finally those words after a year left him lighter.

She gasped softly. It's not true, I can still see that little boy right in front me... "No, I failed you. You were a child Kaz, you had no faults. I should've stayed with you."

She could see the surprise on Kaz's face when she spoke those words. She had time to think that morning, at the little boy she left alone in the streets of Ketterdam. The boy who had kept her secrets all those years and never blackmailed her.

"I don't think something would have changed. I chose my path." he said with his raspy voice. How many nights he had dreamt about that moment? When he would finally speak with her, when the little boy and the Fire Girl would meet again.

"Becasue no one was there for you. Beccause you were alone. But if someone would have taken care of you, if someone would have showed you another way, maybe everything would have been different." maybe you would have been different.

She wasn't disappointed in what Kaz had became, she knew that everything he did it was to survive at the Barrel. She was proud that he had found the strengh to fight and live; Y/n would change nothing of the man she had in front of her.

The captain of the schooner announced that they were ready to leave and Y/n took a deep breath. "You should go..."

"Come with me." his mind, his rational part stopped working. There were nothing to brake his tongue. "Eight years ago you asked me if I wanted you to stay with me, and I said no. Today I'm asking you to stay in Ketterdam, with me, with the Crows. We cant-...I can't loose you. Not again."

Her heart started to beat faster like a roller coaster. Was Kaz Brekker the one who was talking in front of her? The Bastard of the Barrel was asking her to stay with him. You are going to put him in danger, a voice in her mind reminded her.

She looked Ketterdam behind him, as she could see her father's house.

Kaz saw the shift in her face's direction, and immediately understood what was thinking that mind of her. He rose a gloved hand in front of him taking her by surprise.

"If you wish to go to Ravka I will not stop you, but if you give me a chance I'll try everyday to be the man worth to stay by your side. And I promise you..." he took a step forward making her gasp. "I promise you we will take down everyone who threat us and we'll make them know the real meaning of the word suffer."

That's the Dirtyhands I fell for, she though smiling brightly. She took his hand firmly feeling his fingers closing around hers. "Just one condition." He raised an eyebrow to say 'continue please'. "Jan Van Eck is mine, and he's not going to die until I say so."

She knew that Kaz wasn't the only one who had changed in those years, and there were no reasons to hide it. The grisha girl who lived in the shadows and the little boy who was scared would never meet again, both had died when the world had turned its back to them. Both had raised like phoenix and became stronger.

"The deal is the deal, Fire Girl." he smirked walking with her toward the berth. The schooner was already leaving and there was a little void between the berth and the schooner, so Kaz squeezed her hand and they both jumped. When their feet touched the berth he didn't notice he was laughing with her. Her hood was over her forehead and he couldn't hold it anymore, he stood in front of her with the steady hands of a magician and gently lowered it, feeling the hurge to see her smile again. "No secrets anymore."

"No secrets anymore." she replied keeping her eyes in his.

It was their promise to start from the beginning. Their past was a beautiful story to remember, but they would fight for their future side by side, and little did she know that for all the time she hadn't spoken with Kaz Brekker, Bastard of the Barrel. But the boy in front of her, with the light of hope in his dark eyes was the normal, simple Kaz Rietveld.

A/N:OH MY GOODNESS WE ARE HERE! This is the end of the story of our lovely, brave Fire Girl and our little, cute Kaz. I think I can cry... This is the chapter that most I love of the series and I think you can see why! Writing it was so emotional and still so easy, I knew from the first moment how I wanted their story to end and how I wanted to write it. I have many ideas for a future book with those two idiots, but in the mean time...would you like a bonus chapter where we are gonna see how they're managing they're "relationship"? Maybe where he tells her his real name...👀 but now tell me, what was the part that you most liked? Would have you made the same decisions as them? MY CHAT AND REQUESTS ARE OPEN SOO I'm gonna wait you there ;)

p.s. : who recognize the scene from an old tv series for young I took ispiration for the fight and the departure? 👀

[midnightstar-90]

Hidden~ Eddie Diaz x Nash! Reader

A/N: I wanted to add some action, so I moved up when Shannon decided to divorce Eddie. Eddie is too good to make him into a cheater. I'm not really good at describing intimate-type stuff either.

Lose Some, Win Some

Y/N's POV

I am finally home. I'm home with my son, and the school gave me a couple of days to rest. I sat on my couch, watching the news. "Today, police suspect LAFD's 118 for robbing $300,000 worth of cash from a local bank. Police say that the LAFD was there to help the bank manager and a delivery man with a seizure or a possible nerve agent. Police also say that they found the cash inside one of their firetrucks. More information coming up, soon."

After hearing that, I remember the number on one of the firetrucks at the crash. The 118 saved me, and if they saved me, that means that Eddie and my dad are being questioned for a robbery. I haven't known Eddie long, but I know that Eddie, nor my father, would rob a bank.

Zachary walks into the room. "Mommy, I'm ready for bed," my little man says. I turn to him and say, "Ok, I'll be in there in a bit." He runs back to his room.

I hear a knock at the door. It is almost 9:30 pm. Who could be at my door? I go to the door and look through the peephole. Eddie and Christopher stand at the door with a to-go bag.

I open the door, and I say, "Eddie? Chris? what are you doing here?" "I bet you have heard about what is going on. The police have ransacked our house, and I was wondering if you could watch Chris until this blows over?" Eddie asked me desperately.

I smile at the two boys. "Sure. Chris, Zach is in his room getting ready for bed. You can go hang out with him until I get you a bed ready. His room is down the hall, the First door on the left," I tell the little boy, and then turn to Eddie.

He hands me Chris' night bag, and I joke and say, "There better not be any evidence in here." He chuckles, saying, "Nope, no evidence, just clothes, and a toothbrush."

I invite him into my apartment. He walks in and says, "Nice apartment. Is that a skylight?" He points up, at the skylight, in my living room.

(Y/N's Living room /w a skylight)

"Yeah, when Levi died, I would tell Zach that his father was watching him from the stars. So, I decided that anytime we missed Levi, we would watch the stars," I said, trying not to tear up.

Eddie reaches in his pocket and pulls out a picture. "I'm guessing this is Levi?" Eddie asks, handing me the picture. I look at the picture and lose my cool. Eddie sits me on the couch and just hugs me.

This is the closest I've ever been to a man since Levi. It felt good. I felt protected. I don't need protection because I was in the navy, but this man made me feel loved.

We sat on the couch, with me crying into his shirt. "Mommy, aren't you gonna put me to bed?" "Yeah." I get up, heading into my child's room.

Eddie follows me into the room, and what he sees shocks him.

(Zachary's bed)

Christopher is sitting on the bottom bunk of a firehouse bed. The whole room was dedicated to firefighters. When we got in that crash, and he met his grandfather, Zach decided that when he gets older, he would become a firefighter.

Christopher looks at his dad and says, "Dad, Zach said he wants to be like you and uncle Buck when he gets older."

Eddie continues to look around. He walks towards the cubby. Inside the cubby is some of Zach's favorite toys, some pictures of Levi and I, and some pictures of Zach and I. What really caught Eddie's eye, was the picture of Zach on my shoulders, at the El Paso Zoo.

I am tucking the boys in, when I hear, "You were in El Paso?" I look back and say, "Yeah, that was Zach's 2nd birthday. Levi was born in Austin, but he grew up in El Paso." Eddie just nods and goes back to looking around.

As I'm tucking Christopher in he says, "Dad and I are from El Paso. It would have been cool if we met before LA." I smile at the boy, before walking out and turning off the lights.

"We have a lot in common, you know?" Eddie tells me. I look at him and he looks back. "Oh, really?" I ask. Eddie and I move closer to each other. I continue to look at the man and I ask, "Like what?" "Well, for starters, we were both fought for our country." Imagining this man in a military uniform made the moment even hotter. I moved closer. "Ok, and?" "And, we both had a son at a young age."

At this point, he was towering over me. I quickly pulled the man into a kiss. He kisses back. I move my hands from my side to his chest, and he grabs my hips. He deepens the kiss as I move my hands from his chest to his neck. I feel strong hands go under my shirt.

We keep making out for a couple of minutes until I pull back. "I'm so sorry. I forgot you married," I say frantically. "She told me she wasn't ready. She filed for divorce. I also didn't feel like our relationship was working. She left us when Chris was little. I kinda like this hot teacher, who was in the Navy and has a son. Also, she knows about being a firefighter." Eddie tells me, holding my hands.

I kiss Eddie again. Eddie and I head to my room, without breaking the kiss. That night was the best night in forever. Everyone got a sleepover.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The robbery thing has been put behind us, but a new problem has arrived. My father didn't tell the LAFD everything about why he transferred, therefore leaving him suspended. He hasn't told me either, but I think it is best to let him come to me about it.

I started work again today, except I feel like I'm looking after 3 kids. My dad insisted that we hang out, you know since he wasn't there for most of my life.

I wake up at 5 am to a large banging noise. I look to see who it is, and surprise surprise, it is my father with tons of groceries. "Dad, what are you doing here. Zach is still asleep, and I don't have to be up till 7 am." I tell my dad, letting him in.

He heads to my kitchen and sits down the food. "I was thinking that I could make you and Zach breakfast, and then I could take you to work."

I gave my father a loving look. I feel bad that his past came back to haunt him, but maybe something good will come out of it. Besides, I missed the father/daughter bonding we had. Eddie told me his food is at grade A chef level, so why not let him cook for me.

"Well I love what you're doing, but I'm missing sleep. If it's fine with you, could I go back to sleep?" I ask, and receive a nod back. I walk to my room, but I turn back to check upon him. I know he's sad, but at this moment he looks happy.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I woke up at 7 am to a heavenly smell. I walk into the kitchen, after remembering my dad was making breakfast. As leave the hallway to see my son and father talking about firefighting. I smile, and my dad turns to face me.

"Ah, you're awake! I woke up Zach and got him dressed for you." my dad says taking a bite of the french toast. I go into the kitchen and make myself some food. I see french toast, fresh fruit, bacon, eggs, and freshly squeezed orange juice. I look amazed as I take some of everything.

My dad works up the courage to ask me a question, "I was wondering if you wanted to stop by the firehouse, like old times. I have some people I would like you to meet." With my mouth full, I say, "Yeah, I missed those days" "Oh man, mommy is breaking a rule. She is talking with her mouth full," Zach says to the man next to him.

Dad laughs. "Well I ate, but I have to get dressed." I head to my room to get dressed.

(Y/N's outfit to work)

I walk back into the living room and we get ready to head out. We make it to the school, and I say goodbye to my father. I take Zach to class. I get to the office and I see Eddie and Chris. "Hey, I was just hanging with your fire captain." "Well, can you tell him we want him back because his replacement is terrible?" I laugh.

"So, are you coming to the firehouse?" Eddie asked me like he knew my dad would ask me. I give the firefighter a suspicious look and then say, "Yeah, my dad asked me this morning. Would you like me to bring Chris?" He gives me a "yeah, sure", and then we say goodbye.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Christopher and I had so much fun. We were in math, and I helped teach him fractions with mini Kit-Kats. Then, in English, we acted out storytime with his class. The day ended in science, where we build and erupted our own volcanos.

It is the end of the day, some and of the boys waited outside for my father. When he arrived, we got in and started heading towards the fire station, which was only a 5-minute drive.

We walk into the 118's fire station, and Zach went off. A scream could be heard throughout the whole building. All the firefighters and paramedics stopped to see what was going on. My dad walked up to me and said, "Just like his mother."

Eddie and another man walked down the stairs to see what was happening. I smile at the majestic man walking towards me. We go into a hug before I hear a cough.

"Eddie, aren't you gonna introduce me to the pretty lady," the man asked Eddie. I smile at the man, but Eddie and my dad roll their eyes. My dad jumps into the conversation, "Buck, this is my daughter, Y/N, and her son, Zach. Y/N, this is Buck."

Buck and I shake hands. "My name is actually Evan Buckley, but everyone calls me Buck. You are somewhat of what Eddie has told me. Your pretty, but I expected a younger Bobby, with boobs." Eddie smacks Buck's chest.

I'm laughing and I head upstairs with the others. "Mommy! Mommy! Can I go down the fire pole," Zach asks, tugging on my pant leg? I nod my head yes.

Another man and woman walk over and sit with us in the lounge. "Why is there a little boy running around? Did someone drop him off, because I think your only supposed to do that with babies, not children," the man said, sitting right next to me. "That's my son. I'm Y/N." I hold out my hand waiting for the man to shake it. "I'm Howie, but everyone calls me Chimney. This is Hen," The man says, and the woman waves.

We continue to talk until the emergency bell rings. Everyone heads downstairs, but I pull Eddie back. I give him a long kiss, with my arms around his neck and his around my waist.

I pull back and say, "I had fun the other night. Maybe, I could see if my dad could watch the boys, and you and I could maybe have dinner at my house." Eddie groans and says, "Oh, how I would love that. We could also watch a movie."

This man will be the death of me. "Yeah, but you need to go." Eddie runs off to an emergency, I head to the store with my dad, Christopher, and Zachary.

"You know, you don't have to hide Eddie from me," He tells me. I look at him shocked. "I see the way you guys look at each other, and I saw you guys kiss today," he says calmly.

"Well, since you know could you help me make a meal for him and I tonight, and can you watch the boys?" I practically beg. He nods, and then he moves towards the isles, picking out ingredients.

"I don't want to intrude, so I will give you a recipe card. But yes, I will take the boys, just use protection. I don't want to see another grandchild for a while," he says, earning a smack on the chest from me. "There are children around," I whisper.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My dad gave me a recipe for Ravioli, served with garlic bread and bacon-wrapped asparagus. I am almost finished cooking when I hear a knock.

(Y/N's Date Outfit)

I open the door to see a devastated Eddie. I go in to hug him, and Eddie says, "She's dead. Shannon died in the emergency room. That call we left for, that was for her. What am I gonna tell Christopher."

I welcome the man in, and I sit him on the couch. "Do you want to eat?" I ask, hoping that I could get him to relax and eat. "No" is all I hear, before he shoves his face into my shoulder, and lets it all out. I rub his back and say, "Everything will be fine."

We sit there, on the couch, just cuddling. I smell something burning. My eyes widen and I yell, "My bread!"

Eddie's mind comes back to earth and he heads towards the kitchen. Not only is the bread burnt, but there was also a slight fire. Eddie quickly grabbed the fire extinguisher and put out the fire.

I was so scared. Eddie saved me from a fire. At the moment, I forgot all about the food, Eddie's emotions, and everything else. I kissed Eddie out of thankfulness. We kissed for about a minute before he pulled away.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have done that, with everything going on. I was scared. I could've just stood there and let the fire grow, but no, you saved me. You are m-" Eddie cut me off with a kiss.

Eddie picked me up and took me to my room. He laid me on my bed, and next thing you know, our clothes are off.

Taglist: @notanordinaryprincess95 @jjpogueprincess @wiypt-writes

[najatheangel]

genre: fluff, drama, and comedy. high school au!

pairing: Choi San x Reader

author's note: apart of the Ateez Summer Collab hosted by @bangchan-fairy My first official posted collab please let me know what you guys think. Enjoy your summer! ✨

word count: 5.3k

summary: After slacking off junior year and struggling to juggle responsibilities, you're stuck retaking your math course in the summer. With your future on the line, you were stuck with San to work together with you so you both can pass this summer course as seniors. You two seem to have a hard time focusing on your studies. Is it because you don't understand the work or a certain someone that's distracting you

taglist: @purplepsycho03 @melonmochimoon @neptunehobi @soleilsuhh @dundun-baby @kpopsnowball (Send me a message if you want to be added or removed from the tag list.)

Your stepmom Maria seemed to be very disappointed in you once again for letting her down this year. She had planned so many family trips, vacations, and hangouts for the whole family to enjoy this summer, but thanks to my failing this dumb math class, I have to be stuck in this school until July.

“You better be lucky I can afford for you to retake this class. Your reckless behavior has gone on long enough.” Your mom walks beside you upstairs inside Walnut Hills Highschool making sure you don’t skip out on the first day of summer school.

“Mom, you know you don’t have to walk me to class. I know what I’m doing!” You groan at her as she links her arms with you in the hallway.

“Clearly you don’t! If you did you wouldn’t be stuck here retaking this class. Now we’re almost there so keep your head high and lose the tude.”

There it was class 2A once again. This class was an absolute nightmare. I took a deep breath and slid the door open slowly with my eyes halfway open anxious to see who was sitting in the classroom.

“Welcome back miss Y/LN! Good seeing you again.” Mr. Harris said with a smile. This sucker, you had a love-hate relationship with Mr. Harris. You loved the fact that he was super nice and helpful when he was your English tutor freshman year, but you hated how he had a crush on your mom and how weird teacher-parent conference meetings would get when they would sneak off with each other in his office.

“Good morning Mr. Harris. Good seeing you again.” Your mom blushed to try to contain her excitement, but it was too obvious. “Anyways I’ll be heading my way out. She’s all yours for the summer.” Your mom gave you one last hug and kiss on the cheek before she left.

You sighed, rolling your eyes, fanning yourself already sweating from the classroom’s lack of cold air blowing. You complained again by saying.“Mr. Harris, are we staying in this room all summer? I’m sweating like a fat pig.”

“Unfortunately, yes. The PCs in the computer lab have been shut down and the school plans on replacing them with apple PCs by august. So these are the cards we’ve been dealt with. Let’s get started shall we.”

All the students in the classroom sighed, taking sips of their water bottles as Mr. Harris took attendance.

“Let’s see...We have Angela, Oliver, Chris, Yui, Y/N...Who’s missing? Choi San?”

“Here.” San slams the door open, arriving 20 minutes late with his chocolate milk in one hand and a glazed donut in the other. “Sorry Mr. Harris, I’ve overslept.”

Mr. Harris sighs, shaking his head, chuckling to calm himself down. “As expected. Just glad that you’re here, please have a seat.”

There was only one seat left which was in the front next to you and that would of course be his assigned seat for the rest of the summer.

You never heard much of San except everyone saying that he dropped out sophomore year.

You remember having a crush on him during freshman orientation when you both were shadowed by this kid named Lee Know. The whole time you were quiet, but you remembered staring at the handsome devil strutting in his uniform the whole time.

So to see him once again took you and everyone by surprise.

“Class, make sure you remember your partner’s name sitting next to you for this summer because you will work together in order to pass this class.”

“Say what?” You look over at San, who was making origami at his desk. “Good seeing again kid.” He smirks at you leaving you speechless. “Want a donut?” He reached out, handing a piece to you.

You were slamming your head on the desk thinking to yourself. “Mom, I know I promised I would finish this class, but I don’t know if I can...”

Mr. Harris had you paired up in groups of two to complete a series of word problems and online on this website called Pearson. On the bright side, walnut hills provided MacBooks for students that didn’t have their laptop, but of course, if they tried to watch Netflix, facetime with their friends, or search for something inappropriate, their laptop will be shut down for 24 hours until further notice.

The first two weeks were pretty quiet between you and San because both of you aren’t necessarily the best conversation starters and whenever San would ask you something it would only just help him cheat on an assignment or help him make up an excuse to skip class. Up until the third week hit you had enough of his excuses trying to avoid doing the work.

The third week you were assigned to work on three hours of pre-cal on the computer and you had the option to locate to a different classroom of course if you couldn’t focus in a cramped room full of sweaty students. So you and san decided to work in the math lab across from class 2A and try to work out a plan.

“Listen San I know this class is our worst enemy, but I promised my mom I would graduate next year and If I have to restart my junior year again I would die of embarrassment. So please try a little harder.” San sighs nodding to your proposal looking deeply into your eyes.

“Fine. I guess I’m in the same boat. I figured retaking junior year would make my mom mad too.” He reaches his hand shaking it with yours smiling.

Your heart starts pounding pretty fast as you're exchanging the agreement with San and you gaze your eyes back at the computer again clearing your throat.

“So, all we have to do is remember the methods Mr. Harris taught us and we'll be alright. What section are we on?” San scrolls through his laptop trying to login into his Pearson account. “I believe it's section 3.A. 20 questions which are due this Friday?! Man, Mr. Harris won’t give us a break.”

You giggled at his surprised reaction. Sometimes he can be soft which makes you melt inside even more. It made you wonder why he was always hanging around with the rebels with no future at school. Maybe life at home was rough and he didn’t have a lot of friends. All these questions were running through your head, which made you not realize that San suddenly moved closer to you.

“You need help with that problem? You were staring blankly at the screen for the past 10 minutes. Here let me show you how to do this.” San wraps his arm around you, pulling you closer to writing the answer problem step by step to help you understand it better, but that wasn’t exactly helping.

All you were doing was admiring his beautiful face to face. It made you remember the first time you saw him with his glowing melon skin, sharp jawline, the way he can pull off a white collar and a striped tie it just seemed impossible.

On top of that his knowledge in math made him 10x more attractive, but you couldn’t understand why someone as brilliant and essential as him set himself up in the wrong crowd and stuck in this situation that cost him his high school diploma.

“So that’s how you get y= 18 + 15x. Any questions?” “Yeah, why the hell are you so fine. Forget Mr. Harris, you can be my tutor.” Would’ve sounded better in your head, but you accidentally said it out loud.

San looked at you with his eyes flashing open and then he burst out laughing. “Well Ms. Y/LN if I knew you were having this much fun, I would’ve signed up for this a long time ago.”

“Same here. You know I didn’t think math was your thing. How come you're so good at it?” He sighs, leaning looking up at the ceiling as his mood changes very quickly. “My dad is an entrepreneur and a CEO of his own company.

He’s very good at math so he taught me at an early age so someday I can take over his company someday. He’s never home at times either so I’m pretty much always helping my friends with their math homework as a side hustle.”

“That must be tiring. I know that must be a lot of pressure for a 17-year-old.” San nods his head in agreement and says “It is, but hey that’s what I’ve been dealing with all my life. We got to finish these questions so we can go home early.” With the both of you panicking you turn back to your computers finishing the last set of problems.

You were having so much fun at school with San that you forgot you had to make it to dinner on time with your wicked stepmother. Ever since you’ve started your sophomore year at Walnut Hills your father was keeping his dating life a secret until he unexpectedly announced that he wanted to marry Maria. Your dad was always the playboy so it always would irritate you whenever he brings another woman into the picture.

Your father planned on marrying Maria by the time you’ve graduated high school, but that all ended in tragedy when your father one day died in a car accident on the way to your volleyball game. This is why you quitted sports, fell out with your best friends, and flunked almost all your classes. Maria has always shown tough love even when your dad was around, but that’s because she never knew what it was like to raise children and she wanted to learn to become closer to your family, but your relationship with her was always rocky.

Arriving late at night you’ve run to your house sweating and panting to your angry stepmom in the kitchen tapping her foot.

“Y/N, do you know what time it is? School ended at 5. Why are you late for dinner? This better is good missy.” You caught your last breath and then rolled your eyes at Maria’s snarky comment. “Me and my partner in my class took longer than expected to finish our assignment. Sorry, okay?”

You’ve slammed your backpack on the back of your chair and grabbed a plate of yong chow rice to eat with your family. “Don’t you roll your eyes at me? I just asked a simple question. Don’t tell me your working with that Choi San guy?”

You shook your head as you started to feel yourself explode at the dinner table, but you let her finish. “I know that because Mr. Harris told me. Look all I’m saying is you better stay concentrated on getting out of summer school and don’t fool around with these boys. Got it?”

You’ve finally snapped and stood up slamming the table with your fists. “You know what, I don’t understand why you're nagging me about every little thing going on in my life. You can’t just be proud that I finished my assignments for this week. But, no you keep finding ways to complain to me about me not working hard enough or messing around. I’m getting really tired of it. That’s why I hate it here!”

“Y/N! Don’t walk away from me when I’m talking to you.” She followed you all the way upstairs until you closed the door and locked it in her face. You were too tired and frustrated to be dealing with her constant ranting so you’ve just sat in your room, put your AirPods on, and blocked her yelling from the background. “We’ll talk about this another day. Psh teenagers.”

For the rest of the night, you smush your face in your pillow crying yourself to sleep. You look back on the polaroids of your dad around your room and through your phone missing his presence in your home. “Dad, why did you leave me alone with her? If it was just the three of us, things would be so different. I miss you.”

Your partnership with San seemed to improve drastically which was surprising, to say the least. All the other kids in the class however didn’t seem to improve. Some were either cheating or missing the deadlines. Mr. Harris was not pleased by the results so he found other alternatives.

“You know what class, here’s what we’re about to do. To make this a lot more fun, how about we do class activities for extra credit. Since some of you are glued to your devices nowadays we can play games like Kahoot, Jenga, and Tetris to answer questions. I can even narrow down the questions on the assignments. How does that sound?” Everyone in class chants and cheers loving the idea which keeps them even more motivated to continue working.

“Alright everyone the games won’t start today, but next week. This is the last week of June and summer school so that means we’re halfway there from finishing. You cannot screw this up. Try acing this week’s quiz with 90% everyone or no games for those with below 70%. Got it?” “Yes, Mr. Harris!” You’ve become closer to the class since it was only nine of you, but your best friends are Angela, San, and Chris. The four of you stopped for ice cream after school to study for this week’s big math test that covered five sections.

“Gosh, Mr. Harris put 40 questions on the test! What the hell is he on crack?”

Everyone laughed at Chris complaining. He would always try to find shortcuts just so he can finish playing PubG, but he always ends up getting in trouble because he procrastinates too much. The only reason he’s somewhat doing well is because of his girlfriend Angela.

She was always a straight-A student and a bit of a geek at school, but outside of school, she was a baddie. She ended up having to retake pre-cal because she wanted to offer to help Chris with homework but ended up failing with him. “Oh hush it’s not even that bad. If you would’ve done those practice problems like you were told, you wouldn’t be complaining so much.” She slaps the back of Chris' head making him spat out his dip cone.

San looks at them admiring their silly dysfunctional relationship and then looks at you mesmerized. He leans in whispering in your ear saying “Why can’t we be more like them. They’re cute together.” You turned to him, slapping his shoulder softly giggling. “We shouldn’t. We agreed to only focus on school, remember?” He looks at you pouting “Does it have to be strictly about work? Like Mr. Harris said, we can have fun with it. We are partners after all.”

You look to the side trying to avoid his gaze as you take another spoonful of mint cocoa. With your sloppy spoonful of ice cream leftover on your face, San quickly grabbed a napkin from the table and whipped your face. “Be careful, you had a little mint chocolate on your face.” He kissed the side of your lips and smirked at you right afterward leaving everyone shocked.

“You guys are hot together.”

Chris with no filter shouted out leaving you a blushing mess. You quickly grabbed your ice cream and backpack as you heard your stepmom pulling up at the dairy parking lot. “You know what duty calls. I’ll meet you guys at the same time tomorrow at San’s place just like we planned. I gotta shave my legs. Later!” San wanted to grab your arm real quick to give you a proper goodbye, but you already beat him to it by sprinting to the car.

“Honey, why did you run in the car so fast? You would have finished your ice cream-”

“No time for that, just drive Mom.” Maria laughs looking at you covering your face with your cardigan and looking at San’s pouting face playing with his spoon he just ate from his ice cream. “Reminds me of the good old days when I was in high school.” Your stepmom cranked the engine and drove all the way home.

When you arrived home you flopped your body on your bed trying to focus on finishing studying for your test by yourself, but all your thinking about San’s kiss replaying in your head over and over again. ���Ugh that San man, why did his lips have to be so soft? I'm supposed to be finding the formula for x, not the formula to get into San’s heart.” You’ve pulled out your laptop attempting to send an email to Mr. Harris said that you wanted to switch partners, but you prevent yourself from pressing send through your mouse.

“There’s no point. We only have four more weeks plus he would be upset if I do that. I just need to calm down.” You’ve closed out of your email tab and finished your homework sinking in your thoughts.

“Dad, hey it’s me again, I just wanted to leave a voicemail letting you know that later on today I’ll be bringing my friends over to work on studying for our big test. It would be nice for you to meet them, but of course, I know work is more important. Anyways please come visit again sometime soon. Love you, peace.” San sighs, hanging up the phone as he sets the table up getting ready for you, Angela, and Chris to come over. San has always learned to live basically on his own growing up.

His father is always running off on business trips, his mother left him at a young age to marry a wealthy man and his older brother was already out of the country to join the Navy. His brother was the only person he can count on for family events when it came to birthdays, Christmas, and even father’s day. At least his brother could attend and catch up with his crazy high school life.

Snapping out of his train of thoughts he opens the door as soon as he hears the doorbell ring. “Coming!” He fixed his Pikachu long sleeve and parted his hair before he opened the door. He was smiling so wide after seeing it was you, Angela and Chris.

“C'mon in you guys. Welcome to mi palacio. Let’s study in the living room.”

Everyone ran to the living room pleased with the smell of pina colada candles filling the house. You were shocked that San got to live in this huge nicely decorated home yet you seem to notice that his family is not present.

You see picture frames of him when he was younger in a monster inc sitting on the fountain at Disneyland.

There was also another cute family photo of San’s best friend named Wooyoung that he met since kindergarten, but sadly they ended up cutting ties since they went to different schools.

A picture that stood out from all of them was one of him sitting on his mom’s lap when he was five smiling super hard with his pretty white smile. You’ve never seen him smile that hard and you were always curious more about his past so the family photos have shown a nice glimpse into his past “Hey y/n cmon I made some ramen. We have to pull out the flashcards so we can study.” “W-wait, but your baby pictures I want!” “No time we can look at them later.”

He winks and gently holds your hand and walks downstairs with you.

“Here goes the love birds. We have to try San’s famous spicy ramen dish before it gets too cold.” Everyone sits down at the dinner table clasping their hands together ready to dig in until the door opens.

“Surprise brother! Sorry I’m late. Did I miss dinner?” San’s brother Jinhyuk walks in with veggie wraps and steak bulgogi in his hand. San runs up to his brother hugging him super tight happier to see that he finally made it home. “Guys this is my brother Jinhyuk. Jinhyuk this is Chris, Angela, and Y/N.”

Jinhyuk smiles at everyone greeting everyone. “So what’s been going on with you guys? I know you have been stuck in school together, but what have you guys been doing outside of school?” Angela started by saying “Well so far me and Chris have been seeing each other every day. We always go to the park or the carnival when we get the chance for dates. We have also been hanging out with these two right here.”

Chris joined in saying “Exactly right. You can say we’re like the Scooby-Doo gang of course without scooby.” San laughs adding on “No way you’re definitely Scooby. Angela is Velma, I’m Freddy, and Y/N is Daphne.” Everyone at the table laughed as they enjoyed San’s ramen catching up with each other.

Jinhyuk elbows you as he chats with you in the kitchen. “Hey, I noticed that you were sitting there staring at my brother. What’s going on with you two.” Your eyes flashed wide open as you were surprised by Jinhyk’s sudden question. You faced him scratching the back of your head not knowing how to answer his question. “Well, I honestly don’t know. I think he just likes teasing me. One minute he flirts with me, the next minute he treats me like one of the guys. My mom also doesn’t want me getting distracted so I’m trying to keep my distance.”

Jinhyuk laughs and then pets your head. “Well, you both already failed at keeping your distance. I think he likes you, but since you keep running away or avoiding him too much, he feels like he’s making you uncomfortable and that you strictly want to stay as friends. I wouldn’t give him the wrong idea to be upfront about how you feel about him. You got this kid.” He grabs your empty bowl for you and washes the dishes giving you that boost of confidence. “You know what you're right. Mama didn’t raise no punk. I’ll tell him after we finish studying. Thanks, Jinhyuk I owe you the next time you visit.” You give him a thumbs up and skip happily out the kitchen looking forward to seeing your friends.

After hours of studying flashcards, everyone finally studied feeling confident in themselves about the final test of the semester. Everyone packed their things and was ready to head home since their parents were outside. You were the only one that still felt confident about your process throughout the class so you’ve decided to stay an extra hour to study with San.

“Are you sure this is right?” You put the pencil down crossing your fingers as San checks your work. “Wow yes, that is correct. See you’re doing just fine. You only got 7 wrong out of the 40 questions. Just keep using that method I taught you and you’ll be just fine.” San smiles at you pinching your cheeks. “It’s 10:30 pm. Your mom is going to be worried about you. You should start heading home. I'll drop you off.” San started putting his notebook and laptop back on his desk getting ready to leave his room, but you pull on his sleeve bringing him back down on the couch with you.

“Wait, um why don’t we watch a movie or something. My mom is out with Mr. Harris anyways they won’t be back until the morning. I kind of told her I was spending the night at my cousin’s house.”

San smiles, shaking his head gulping, sitting back down next to you. “That sounds nice and all, but I don’t want to get you in trouble. Plus you do realize you’re staying over at a boy’s house at night.” You lean your head on his shoulder holding his hand yawning. “I know I trust you. You wouldn’t do anything unless I told you I wanted to. Just for tonight please San?” San sighs, lifting your chin patting the back of your head. “Fine, but next time let me meet your mom. I want to know everything there is about you okay?” You nod linking pinkies with him. “Deal. Now let’s watch Money Heist Shall we?”

The next morning you wake up in San’s arms as you share a blanket on the living room couch. You woke up fixing his messy black hair struck by his sleeping face. “Gosh you're even more dreamy when you're sleeping.” You checked the time on your phone and realized what time it was.

Pre-cal normally starts around 10, it was 11:20. “San gets up, we're late for class! We can’t miss this one Mr. Harris is giving us get extra credit today.” San woke right up alert as he wiped the drool from the side of his mouth.

“Dang, we gotta go. Here brush your teeth real fast, brush your hair and let’s roll.”

The two of you got ready as fast you could and hopped right on his motorcycle speeding through the traffic throughout the city.

You wrapped your arms around San the whole time scared you’ll fall on the motorcycle. San felt so happy whenever you depended on him for anything. “God I love this girl. I know they say I’m too young or going too fast, but I can’t help it.” He mumbled under his breath as he arrived at the school.

“Well well if it isn’t San and Y/N. You better be lucky you didn’t miss the test. We just got done playing Kahoot.” The two of you poured with your heads looking down feeling ashamed as you walked to your seats. The two of you took one last glimpse of each before Mr. Harris handed out the test.

This was it after everything you’ve been through this past month with San and your friends. The hard work was going to determine if you actually made it through or not. Mr. Harris gave you a whisper of encouragement you never heard in a long time except for your dad. “Y/N no matter what happens I’ll always be proud of you. Finish this strong.”

Mr. Harris' words almost moved you to tears as you smiled and nodded your head right back at him. Now you understand why Maria loved him so much he was always passionate about teaching and cared about your well-being.

You grabbed your pencil and your laptop as you started getting to work. The whole time you were nervous and a few questions caused you to slip up, but in the end, you remembered how to do most of the work. San seemed to be holding up just fine so you weren’t too worried about him, Angela would always double-check her work before turning it in and Chris was surprisingly focused the whole time.

As everyone finished their tests Mr. Harris checked everyone’s grades one by one slowly seeing their process.

He stands up taking off his glasses and says. “Class...congratulations on becoming seniors! Everyone has passed summer school. See you in the fall.”

Everyone screamed cheering as the paper was flying and everyone in the classroom cheered. “Yeah, you guys hang out at the carnival!” Chris screamed and everyone followed him out.

Before catching up with everyone you called your stepmom to tell her the good news with Mr. Harris next to you.

“Mom, I finally passed. Dad’s face right now you know he’s probably crying. It was all thanks to Mr. Harris too, he's the best teacher ever.”

You can hear your mom’s voice on the other end as she gets teary-eyed. “Your dad would definitely be so happy that you passed, but also pissed because he never wants you in summer school ever again.” The three of you laugh together as you share the happy news.

“I’m so sorry I doubted you and was super harsh y/n. I love you and just want you to succeed. Your my only banana muffin I got in this world so don’t pull off any dumb crap like this ever again.”

“Yes mom, you know I will. I made a promise to dad after all. I will graduate and stay close to you if it’s the last thing I do. Love you, I'm going to the carnival with my friends.”

Maria makes kissy noises back and says “I love you too. Don’t stay out too late. Matter of fact I’ll meet you there since me and Harris have a date anyways. See you there.” You hang up feeling emotional as you hug Mr. Harris.

Mr. Harris pats you on the back saying “Didn’t I tell you she’s very proud. Now I think you need to catch up with your friends before he leaves without you. I’ll meet you at the carnival.” Mr. Harris leaves the classroom giving you one last smile and heading out.

You walked in the hallway looking all around the school for San, luckily you found him in the science lab where he’s sitting by the window with a sad look on his face.

“San. We’ve gotta meet up with everyone at the carnival. Why are you here by yourself?”

San sighs, crossing his arms.

“There’s no point in celebrating. I tried reaching out to both of my parents to tell them about one of the biggest accomplishments in my life and as usual, they didn’t answer.” You sat right next to him at the window petting his head. “You know what, how dare they? Forget them.

You have a supportive big brother, an amazing group of friends, and the best teacher a school could ever ask for. You have a family right here and we’re proud of you.”

San lifts his head up as he sees your bright smile that always makes him helpless.

“You always know exactly what to say. What would I do without you?”

He links pinkies with you. “I really can’t wait for you to meet my stepmom. She gets on my nerves sometimes and we always tend to bump heads, but we always come right back together. Dad would’ve also loved you. He was always straight to the point and never held back. I loved that confidence he always had.”

“Oh yeah he did get into that accident last year, I’m so sorry about that.”

You shake your head “It’s alright, I’m still holding up just fine. I’m just happy to have you here with me plus I get to be seniors with you and everyone else.” San looks up at you one last time slowly leaning his face close to yours until your noses touch.

“Gosh, I wonder what would happen if I made out with Y/N in the science lab? The janitor would for sure catch us in the act.” You giggle flirting with him back.

“The only thing he would have to worry about cleaning up is the kiss marks that are going to be on your neck.”

“Wow, I didn’t know you were this playful. I love seeing this side of you.”

The two of you finally exchange a short yet sweet kiss in the orange sunset peeking against the window. It was going to last longer until Angela and Chris crashed the party with a loud knock on the door.

“Hurry up Freddy and Daphne the Scooby gang has to pull up at the carnival together. You guys can finish eating each other's faces off in the car. We can’t miss the flight of fear!”

The two of you looked at each other shrugging and walked together hand in hand out the classroom. “Well, I guess we will have to finish this on the carousel.” “Indeed, that sounds more romantic than making out while being surrounded by jars of disinfected frogs in the science lab.”

The two of you catch up with the rest of the seniors of class 2021 as you look forward to your last summer as juniors together. Today was going to be the day where you go all out and live like you're gonna die young.

[allmightluver]

All Might’s Mental Health is  Declining

Toshinori Yagi wanted to be a hero, wanted to help people ever since he was a boy

and with Nana’s help, the quirkless kid got his wish.

But being a hero isn’t for the weak of heart. You’re going to fail. People are going to be hurt. And ultimately, you’ll be alone. Toshinori had to learn this quickly in his life as Nana, his mother figure, died for him at an early age.

The other person in his life, Gran Torino, trained him to the best of his abilities, but was a no nonsense, brutal teacher.

His methods were effective, but scarring, as Toshinori has been terrified of him ever sense. 

He was sent to America on his own to develop his quirk, where he eventually learned to become a hero. But again, that meant work was his life, and he had no social life. Sure he was popular with the media, but as far as developing a lot of personal relationships, he wouldn’t have time for them. Plus, as typical of a hero, in order to keep everyone safe, All Might couldn’t be seen with people he was close to. He most likely kept himself busy the majority of the time to keep from being lost in his own thoughts. People need companions, it’s part of our make up. Toshinori’s surely had to have been a very lonely life. 

And then All for One happened. And defeating him almost killed Toshinori, in fact, there’s no good reason he’s still alive, other than to pass on One For All, he should be dead. *Warning graphic details following*

All for One said himself (English Translation), “A wounded hero is a most frightening animal. Do you know that even now, I sometimes dream of you charging at me with your entrails strewn across the ground.” His entrails. His internal organs. All Might was gravely wounded, yet he still forced himself to fight All For One, even while the hole in his side freely leaked his own body’s contents. In the picture above, All Might kneels above All For One’s lifeless body in a pool of blood, a mixture of both their blood. AFO’s head crushed.

I cannot stress enough the mental impact of this singular event. All Might stood for absolutely NO killing. He would resolve conflict while being careful NOT to kill or even critically hurt anyone. But in this instance, Toshinori killed a man. And the way he did, crushing a man’s head with his bare hands until the skull gave way and his brains were scattered on the pavement below. For someone who believes in no killing, this was a brutal execution. One that, unfortunately, had to happen for the safety of the world, and only All Might was capable of doing it. 

This alone must have severely messed with his head. While he lay in hospital, only capable of healing, AFO haunted his dreams and thoughts. He took another life, blood permanently staining his hands. And now he has to mentally pretend this never happened and act as if everything is fine to the public who hadn’t heard of this fight.

Despite the mental trauma from this, the physical trauma was worse. While he could fake the emotional lasting effects, he couldn’t hide the physical. 

This injury took a lot more of him than just his mental stability. It took his stomach, a lung, most likely his spleen, and perhaps more internal organs. Living like this now means lots of medications. Supplements to make up for the lack of stomach, drugs to protect against infection, and pain medication to list a few. Something that big has to hurt like crazy. And all that scar tissue pulling while you try to fight? Torture. He’s most likely had countless corrective surgeries from the scar tissue alone, which only reopens the wound and leaves less and less skin to work with. You can see how caved in the scar is, indicating just how much of his body is missing. His destroyed respiratory system forces blood to fill the remaining lung he has left when he overexerts himself, which is all the time. He probably has to have blood tranfusions regularly to make up for the loss, as well as other injections to assist his body in running properly. There’s probably an oxygen tank by his bedside to help when he’s choking on his own blood in the middle of the night. His body wasting away until his very skin stretches like plastic wrap over nothing but bones. Muscles being eaten away in replacement of food.

But what sucks the most? The time he can be All Might is decreasing more every day. The one thing he’s wanted his whole life, to help people, is starting to become difficult to do. He has to hide his true form from the public, he doesn’t want them to fear for their lives if he can’t help anymore. Now he spends more and more time in his own mind because he can’t distract himself anymore. And what’s worse than the mental pain is the physical accompanying it.

Now BESIDES all this happening, we also have Nighteye’s betrayal. Sir, the man who was his sidekick for years, the guy he’s probably been able to grow the closest to, betrays All Might’s trust and looks into his future. And what does he see?

In six to seven years, Toshinori will meet a villain, and meet a gruesome demise. The betrayal makes him and Nighteye go separate ways, losing a friend.

Now with his declining health and the death sentence hanging over his head, Toshinori has to think about what he hoped he wouldn’t for years yet. He needs a successor. Someone to give this power to before it’s too late. 

Insert Izuku.

A young, quirkless boy who just wants to help people. Sounds familiar. Izuku is an obvious choice despite everyone telling Toshinori he’s not the right fit. (Like Nighteye whom Toshinori tried to tell, but was only shot down.) So once he hands over One for All to Izuku, the problem, despite the boy destroying himself as he tries to use it and Toshinori being unsure how to help him, is that his power is decreasing even faster now. Which, of course, is to be expected, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to deal with. His time limit is drawn shorter and shorter until All for One starts to make a reappearance.

So not only did Toshinori not kill him, all the trauma he went through was for nothing, but now the world is in danger, again. And he doesn’t know if he can help them. Which means he has to involve his young ward in this mess that killed his mentor, almost killed him, and could potentially kill the boy as well.

So he tells Izuku of the origin of One for All and All for One. But he doesn’t tell the boy that by the time Izuku fights this guy, Toshinori won’t be around anymore. 

He doesn’t let on how much the power is draining out of his body, and doesn’t enlighten the boy on his own upcoming death. Which unfortunately means he has to lie and give Izuku a false sense of security. 

And then, All for One shows up.

And this time, All Might’s true form is exposed to the public. His weakness. Now the world knows that All Might isn’t invincible. Despite this, he’s still able to force his broken and exhausted body to beat All for One again, while using up the last of One for All, and leaving it up to Izuku.

Now he’s that quirkless boy who wants to help people again, only this time, he can’t.

Now he can’t be a hero, the one thing that’s kept him going all these years. And people on the street who don’t recognize him right away, criticize how he looks, which again, is out of his control. So he continues to hide himself in shame.

Gran Torino has told him he’s not being a proper mentor to Izuku, but the boy is already surpassing him with his schooling from other teachers. So, without heroing and mentoring, all Toshinori has left is being a teacher. 

And unfortunately, Eraserhead has told him he’s also mediocre at that as well.

Then Izuku meets Sir Nighteye, and questions Toshinori about their relationship, while also questioning his own successor-ship. 

Which leads to a very emotional scene of Toshinori telling Izuku exactly what happened all those years ago, as well as his death sentence that, oh by the way, is coming either this year or the next.

Toshinori is fairly emotionless while explaining this to the boy, I imagine he’s fairly disconnected with his own emotions by this point.

But seeing how upset Izuku was is enough to make him try and console the other that he won’t simply roll over and die, that he’ll go down fighting.

And THEN, he gets word that Sir Nighteye is in grave condition and most likely won’t make it through the night. Even after their falling out, Toshinori goes to his friend’s side, and the resemblance is scary.

Now he can see why Nighteye looked into his future, to see if Toshi had any chance on living. Being put in this position, he can understand. You can even hear Toshinori’s voice break (Japanese version) when he tells Sir that he needs to stay alive to allow Toshi to repent for his sins. But Nighteye can’t stay. And when facing the man who’s always been known for his smile, who can’t do it anymore, Sir says to him: “Smile. Live on, Toshinori.”

But for what?

The most recent episodes have a relatively emotionless Toshinori.

Like in today’s episode, the best he can give Izuku is a small smile, barely anything. He doesn’t even emote when he catches Hatsume’s stray baby.

He clearly still has the reflexes of a hero, but he can’t physically be one anymore. His health is too fragile. *Manga spoilers ahead*

Then there’s this scene with Aizawa.

He had long since accepted his own death, maybe even longed for it. But Izuku made him decide to try and live, even though he’s not sure how to anymore.

This poor man has been through Hell. And now he feels useless and helpless. Thank God he finally said something to Aizawa, but he needs more than just this, he needs to have a purpose again. I hope Aizawa and the others can help him find it again.

[moonmoonthecrabking]

every so often i remember "skills" which was this thing my school introduced when i was like 13 that replaced scripture half the time for students in years 7-9. i thought this was fucking stupid because of something something state religion guidelines and everyone vehemently hated the concept. AND THEN they introduced "skills" 6/10 weeks a term and it made me want to commit arson. they were theoretically teaching us about "study skills" (which we had heard before and we not at all helpful) and "growth mindset" (my school was so focussed on growth mindset at the time it was hell and that was with the least growth mindset teacher it was nuts). these activities had very "don't be anxious" energy to children who were struggling with their mental health and teaching use language concepts we should have learnt in english class. thanks, i hate it.

so they were cycled in our "core classes" (the group of 30 we had for english, science, history/geography, and pdhpe). my class' first week was with the school's principal. you think this would be reasonable right? right? wrong. she taught us about "left brain and right brain". this was genuinely less accurate than the bo burnham song. it was some bullshit about which side is bigger and how you can tell which you are using your fingernails and are you more logical and creative.

here's what i find interesting. when i graduated, the school had a focus on "high potential learners" (i played egg shakers at the open day so i heard her 10 minute long speech). this was also at a time that there was a big risk of the top-level music class not running. i personally believe that logic and creativity are inextricably linked. you may not find the artistry in maths or science or economics, but there are people who do. you may not find the rationale behind paintings or songs or design, but there are people who do. logic and creativity are not contradictory. however, if you don't support the arts in schools, if you don't pay attention to the studies that indicate how playing an instrument improves mental function, if you don't see to how logic and creativity play into each other, what then?

i in no way hate my former principal, she was a lovely person and i do believe that she cared for her students. that being said, we aren't really two. we are wholly ourselves, and you can't suppress one part without it effecting the other. the less we valued the arts (and mental health but that's a whole other fucking story), the more our state ranks dropped.

logic and creativity matter. mental health matters. that's the moral of this story.

[pinoy-culture]

before I ask my question, I just wanted to say thank you so so so much for keeping up your blog and consistently giving out information where its readily accessible!!!

maybe this will make me sound like an idiot but to preface, I’m a mixed filipino american. My mom is filipino and some chinese and my dad is some sort of european and puerto rican. i was wondering, in your opinion, do you think it’d be okay for me (eventually) work with diwata and anitos? And how can I start? Ive been trying to communicate with my ancestors and I’ve been looking for books to one day buy (im extremely broke so your blog and any filipino witches i come across is all the info i can get) but i honestly have no clue where to start other than with my ancestors (weird dreams lately but nothing ancestor related i think). i took a DNA test as a gift and it pointed, predominantly, to the Western Visayas so im assuming i should study more on pre-colonial Bisayan culture (my lolas from iloilo so it makes sense i guess) but i also know that “blood quantum” is a colonizer concept so i dont wanna rely on it too much :/ sorry to ramble but pls help lol

First, I'd like to say thank you for following the blog! It really does mean a lot to me to hear from others over the years on how much my blogs have helped them learn about our history and culture.

Now as for working with our diwata and the anito, that is completely ok. The whole blood quantum thing among some Filipinos I honestly don't agree with. As long as you have a family member who is Filipino, you are Filipino regardless of your "percentage" and of how you look. If you have Filipino blood in you, the ancestors are there with you. Even if you weren't raised within Filipino culture or a Filipino household because your parents never brought you up in it, or you are an adoptee like some I've met over the years. Your ancestors are your ancestors regardless. They see you and know you and that is all that matters.

Now there really isn't any book focused specifically on reviving our precolonial beliefs and practices. Yes, some did survive and some even blended in with a form of Folk Christianity in the Philippines. You can see many of the older practices and beliefs still alive, but they have been replaced with Catholic imagery and Saints.

But, in regards actually believing in and worshiping our old deities, doing rituals dedicated to the deity, or even some rites of passage like the Tagalog first menstruation rite of passage, or making carved figures dedicated to the diwata and anito, or performing maganito/paganito or atang to the diwata and anito, majority of Filipinos don't do this, or even know it.

So for being an Anito Reconstructionist, which is a label I personally use for my spiritual beliefs and others have adopted, there really isn't a book for it. A Reconstructionist in other ethnic spiritual paths, such as the Celtic, Roman, Aztec, Kemetic, Greek, Norse, etc., are those who look at historical records to try and piece together what was once practiced and believed in prior to Christianity. Over many years, these different spiritual paths have eventually come together, formed a community, and have resources like books and teachers. They have had the time to do all the research and put together a more formal spirituality based on those Pre-Christian beliefs and bringing it to the modern day where they have hundreds to thousands of people who have gone back to those beliefs. With some, they have even created temples, shrines to their deities, and even have celebrations.

Unfortunately that is not the case for us. However, due to the growing interest in our precolonial beliefs and practices over the years, I can see Anito Reconstructionism growing within the next several years. It already has, with many people actually trying to learn more about these beliefs and our old deities. The amount of people of people I've seen and talked to who have expressed their interest to reclaim these precolonial beliefs and practices is nothing compared to 10 years ago when it was hard to even find one or two people who did.

It is why I've been writing this book for a few years now dedicated to helping others in wanting to reclaim our precolonial beliefs and practices as a starting point in their research. For now though, I always recommend those who are starting to simply just read the historical texts. Grab a notebook and write down notes. Organize your notes into deities, rituals, how to make an offering, any prayers to a specific deity, how to set up an altar, etc.

Seeing as your family is from the island of Panay in the Western Bisayas, like my moms side are from, I would start with looking at the Bisayan precolonial beliefs and practices. A really good reference is reading Francisco Alcina's History of the Bisayans (1668). Volume 3 is available online in English which you can find here. Volume 3 goes into a lot of detail in the beliefs and practices. The Boxer Codex, if you are able to get a copy of the English translation, is also really good reading material.

Getting Started:

In terms of getting started, keep in mind that there is no one monolithic belief system or practice in the Philippines. Before there ever was a Philippines, we were different nations with different beliefs and practices. It is important to know your ethnic groups beliefs and practices and know their history. For example, I am Bisaya (Akeanon specifically) and Tagalog and that is what I work with. Others who I know follow the Bikolano, Kapampangan, or Ilokano beliefs. Though there are some similarities, each ethnic group had their own set beliefs and practices.

I often tell people that you can't just mix and match between them. For example, though I work with both the Tagalog and Bisayan pantheons, I wouldn't dare do a ritual offering to both a Tagalog or Bisayan deity at the same time. It's always separate. You also can't combine 2 similar deities together from different ethnic groups just because they share similar attributes. It's just rude and disrespectful.

Start out small. Set up an altar dedicated to your ancestors. If you have any family members who have passed, put a photo of them on the altar. Leave offerings of rice cakes such as suman, food like chicken adobo, or even a cup of drink such as tuba, lambanog, or even Red Horse beer. But if you can't get access to an alcoholic drink either because one you are a minor or 2 it's not available where you live, you can simply replace it with a non-alcoholic drinks like coconut juice. Get a coconut shell or a seashell to either place these offerings as bowls/plates or even use them to put your kamangyan or incense.

Then start researching how our Bisayan ancestors worshiped and practiced. Study the history and read historical accounts, books, and articles about them. Write down what you have learned on these precolonial beliefs and practices and reconstruct or revive them. This is what Polytheistic Recinstructionists do. I have listed links to these texts here.

Ask questions to your family, particularly your elders. See if they know of anything or if they can share some traditional practices and beliefs they know of have heard of. You would be surprised how, despite some families being really religious, many still believe in the spirits, do some form of ancestor veneration, believe in omens that are being told to you by the ancestors or spirits, etc.

If you can, try to go back to the Philippines and see your family's ancestral home, see where they grew up, etc. Ask about family stories and folk stories. For example, my mom grew up in Aklan and has always told me stories of the aswang and certain omens. She also constantly talks about the mischievous "little people" who play tricks on you (for example putting something down like your keys and then it goes missing, until you find it again somewhere else). In the Western Bisayas, they are known as kama-kama. There is also a story of how her grandmother's cat visited her during her wake. The cat was missing for years, but it came back and stayed sleeping on top of the casket for days before it left. My mom told me that it was the cat paying their respects to her grandmother.

Keep in mind also and acknowledge our indigenous communities who have kept their beliefs and practices. Don't try to take them into your own. I have seen people cherry pick things from the Manobo of Mindanao or the Kalinga in the Cordillera, which is just disrespectful. Many of the IP, though some still have kept their beliefs, it isn't the most important aspect to them. What they are most concerned about are other issues such as losing their homes due to occupation by oil or logging companies, other settlers such as the Tagalog and Bisayans (especially in Mindanao), getting targeted as "rebels" by the Philippine military and often getting killed. But, by cherry picking beliefs especially of the IP groups, it's just disrespectful.

I will be teaching classes on Anito Reconstructionism soon and will have my first class possibly at the end of the month or next month. I decided to do these classes seeing as there is a growing community who are interested, but don't know where to start. I'll be doing a proper announcement on these classes real soon so look out for the announcement and hopefully you will be able to join!

[bl597]

Could you write a Fred Weasley imagine where he likes the reader but she’s Ron’ best friend along with Harry’s and Hermione. And he doesn’t want that because if there were to break up, he would have to pick a side. And he doesn’t want to pick between his brother and best friend.

hello, dear! 💞💞 of course i can!! hope you enjoy it and please forgive me for taking so long to post it!!

warnings: hell yes I finally finished it!! it's agnsty but a little fluffy I guess, fem!reader but nothing that could change the story (you can replace it with male/gender neutral pronouns), reader's the same age as the golden trio, not revised bc im lazy, english is not my first language, so I'm sorry for any mistakes!! requests are closed for a while!

my masterlist ♡

Ron had noticed it all before even you knew it; the way you and Fred looked at each other longer than friends should look at each other. Or how a blush painted both your faces whenever you were in the same room. Or how you always flirted. Or how you wouldn't shut up about each other for one bloody second. Or just how in love you seemed to be.

He hated it, honestly. You were his best friend and Fred was his brother, it was weird to even think about it. Besides, he didn't want it all to begin because if there is a break up, he would be forced to pick a side, and that was definitely not something he wanted to do.

The Yule Ball was a few months away and Fred had already tried to talk to Ron about asking you to go with him, and Ron always tried to find an excuse to avoid his brother. How was he supposed to say he wouldn't help him without looking like an idiot?

“You should tell him” he heard Hermione's voice as she entered the common room with you, both of you giggling.

“I think I'll just wait a little” you quietly said, sitting down in front of Harry and Ron. “Hi, boys”

“Hello” said Harry looking up from his Charms homework and smiling at you and Mione, who smiled back at the boy.

“Hi” Ron pushed the parchment and books aside with a loud groan, cursing Snape and Potions with all his heart and then turned to you two with furrowed brows. “What are you two talking about?”

Hermione giggled, wiggling her eyebrows at you with a small smirk while placing a book on top of the table and opening it. “(Y/n) is waiting for Freddie to ask her to the Yule Ball” she replied in a playful tone, which made you slap her armp lightly.

“What?!” Ron exclaimed, ears as red as his hair.

Everyone looked at him with a censorship look and his face became even redder as he apologized to the other people on the common room. He then looked at you again, eyes wide in surprise.

Okay, he did know you and Fred had feelings for each other, but he didn't think any of you would actually act on it. Hadn't Fred give up after all those miserable attempts to ask for Ron's opinion on how he should ask you out? Of course not, Fred doesn't give up so easily, Ron thought, mentally facepalming himself with a silent groan.

“Why Fred? There are a lot of other cool boys in the castle” he said in an almost accusing tone, which mad you frown. “I bet a lot of boys had asked you out already, you should go with one of them”

“I mean,” you shyly started, an almost invisible blush painting your cheeks “Finch-Fletchley had asked me to go to the Ball with him, but I said I needed to think about it and then I'd tell him.”

“Bullshit” Hermione added chuckling “You only said that because you were waiting for a certain redheaded Gryffindor to ask you out.”

You blushed a deep shade of red at her commentary, playfully rolling your eyes and she smirked. “Oh, hush, Granger”

~

“What are we doing?” Harry confusedly asked, almost running so he could catch Ron, who was going somewhere with heavy footsteps, ears red like their robes.

“Trying to find Fred” he replied and Harry almost didn't hear him, the noise in the corridors making it almost impossible to hear him.

Harry didn't ask anything else, deciding it would be better to just silently follow his best friend and see what he was up to. They didn't stop walking until they reached the Great Hall, where the twins and Lee Jordan were excitedly talking about a new prank.

“Fred Weasley!” he shouted, getting the attention of some other students that were calmly eating, now looking at him with furrowed brows. Harry quietly apologized to them before following Ron to were his brothers and Lee were.

“Hello, brother dearest. What do I own the honour of your visit?” Fred asked with a cheeky smile, drinking his pumpkin juice while looking at Ron, waiting for him to speak.

“You come with me. Now.” he said rather coldly, which made Fred get confused. They quietly left the Great Hall, leaving Harry, George and Lee curiously following them with their eyes as they disappeared from the Hall.

The two redheads kept walking around the castle's corridors, trying to find a place that wasn't occupied by the students. Ron stopped walking when he saw an empty corridor, and he quickly dragged Fred inside it with him, turning around to the older boy with arched brows and a I-know-all-your-sins look.

“I know what you're planning, and that won't happen” Ron finally said, crossing his arms over his chest “You won't ask (Y/n) to go to the Ball with you, okay?”

Then it all clicked on Fred's mind, a smirk immediately forming itself on his lips. “Awn, is Ickle Ronniekins jealous?” he mocked his younger brother, even though there was a hint of jealousy on his own voice.

“What? No!” Ron exclaimed, a blush painting his face and neck, the tip of his ears feeling and looking like it was on fire. “She's my best friend. And that's the problem”

“So, you want to ask her out?” Fred asked quietly whilst crossing his arms over his chest, proping up on the wall next to him. “You know I fancy her for a while, mate”

“Bloody hell! I do not want to ask her out!” Ron groaned, looking at Fred like it was the most obvious thing in the world “I just don't want you to do it, because then you two would start dating and I don't want that because if you two break up, I have to pick up a side, and I don't want to lose my brother or my best friend!”

Ron finally exploded, saying what was bothering him for the past months, and it felt like all the weight on his shoulders magically disappeared. He never felt so light like right now, it was a fantastic feeling. Fred was looking at him in shock, eyes wide open at his brother's words.

“Oh” was all Fred could say, his shoes suddenly being the most interesting thing he could lay his eyes on at the moment.

“Yeah” Ron replied quietly, an awkward silence between the two Weasleys, none of them knowing what to do or say right now. Ron then cleared his throat, getting Fred's attention. “I should go back now, Harry has lots of practice to do for the next task. Hm, see you around”

~

“You did what?!” Hermione incredulously asked, homework soon forgotten. You shushed her, trying to make her remember you were in the library. “Sorry, sorry. But why did you do that?” she finished her question, talking quieter than before.

“I said I'll go to the Ball with Justin” you shrugged as if it was nothing, turning your attention back to the piece of parchment in front of you, dipping the quill on the ink and continuing your essay about the Bezoar and its properties.

“But why? Weren't you planning on asking Fred?”

“Yeah, but the Ball is in two weeks and he already has a partner. Besides, Justin is cute, I should give him a chance, maybe” you simply replied, still focused on your essay.

She looked at you with furrowed brows, but decided not to say anything else and do her homework instead.

~

The night was fantastic, the Great Hall was decorated with beautiful winter ornaments, and a baby blue was painting the walls and tables. The students were gracefully dancing with their partners and even the teachers were dancing too. It all looked magical and like it just came straight from a fairytale.

“May I have this dance, Miss (Y/l/n)?” asked Justin playfully, extending his hand for you to take it and you gladly did with a smile.

“Yes, you may, Mr Finch-Fletchley” you replied, letting him lead you to the dance floor.

This song was slower than the last one, which meant you'd have to be closer to each other. He shyly placed his hand on your hip after asking if you were comfortable with that, taking your right hand in his as you placed your left one on his shoulder. You then started slow dancing to the song on the background, the other couples doing the same on the Hall.

It was nice to spend time with him, you two surprisingly had a lot of things in common and the silence between you two wasn't awkward or weird, it was actually nice and comfortable, but something was missing.

He didn't make fun remarks about professor Snape's I-was-forced-to-be-here face, or jokes about Ron awkwardly dancing with Padma Patil, or about anything else. He was amazing, but he wasn't Fred.

You felt bad for accepting going out with Justin as a 'second option', but it was not like you were using him.. right? Fred was going with someone else, so you found other person to go with. It's fair, right? Besides, it could happen anyways; not everything in life happens the way we all want to, or else it would be really boring. Shrugging those thoughts out of your head, you focused on your partner again, moving your body with his as you two danced the night away.

It was around midnight when the students started leaving the Great Hall, and you were one of those students. You were planning on going to your dorm and sleep like a baby until tomorrow, but decided against it and went to the courtyard, where a very few people were.

The night breeze was cold and the snow was adorning the ground and shrubs around the courtyard. The sky was dark and the stars were brightly shining on it, the moonlight illuminating all the place. It was a very lovely night.

You then caught sight of a small bench away from the kissing teenagers and headed to it, brushing the snow out of it before sitting down. You were just enjoying the fresh air after being at the Ball for the last hours. It's not like you didn't like it, it was the total opposite of it, you loved the night and the Ball was perfect, you just needed some time away from the crowd.

“Shouldn't you be at your dorm?” you heard a very familiar voice from behind you, which made you jump a little, quickly looking at the voice's owner with a smile.

It was Fred. He was still wearing the clothes he wore earlier, his hair was covering half of his face, but it was still clear he was with a silly smile on his lips. That made you smile too.

“Shoudn't you be at your dorm?” you replied with his own question, raising a brow at his with a small smirk.

“Now you got me” he joked, sitting down next to you on the bench. “Didn't feel like sleeping yet. You?”

“Same” you quietly said, looking at the night sky. “So, where's Angelina?”

“At the Gryffindor common room, I guess” he replied after a little while, turning to look at you. “And where's Finch-Fletchley?” his voice carried a bit of annoyance at the mention of the Hufflepuff boy's name.

“Dancing with a Beauxbatons girl” you giggled as you remembered Justin clumsily dancing with a girl who was taller than him “He really has lots of energy and I was tired of dancing, so he kind of found another partner”

He nodded quietly, still focused on you. You flushed red when you noticed he had been watching you for a few minutes, suddenly feeling your cheeks burning under his deep stare.

“You know, we learnt how to read the stars in Astronomy” Fred spoke with a serious expression, and you turned all your attention to him, eager to hear the rest. It was no surprise you always loved Astronomy and were more than excited to learn more and more about it. “And these starts are telling me something, something really important”

You gasped, eyes widened as you attentively listened to every word that left his mouth. “What is it, Freddie?”

He inched closer to you, to the point where your noses were almost touching and your breath hitched, anxiously awaiting for his answer while trying your hardest not to blush even more because of how close his lips were to yours.

“They say you should kiss me.” he said with a cheeky smile, watching in amusement as your face became redder than his hair. “The stars never lie”

With a confident smirk, you closed the gap between you two, softly placing your lips on his in a short peck that soon became an actual kiss, your mouths moving in sync with each other, tongues gracefully dancing together inside your mouths as your hands flew to his face, cupping his cheeks in order to deepen the kiss.

You pulled apart minutes later, gasping for air. Both your faces were a shade of dark pink, both from the kiss and from the freezing breeze assaulting your bodies. You could still feel the ghost of Fred's soft lips hovering over yours, and it was a deliciously confusing feeling. The kiss made you feel warm inside and it lit things up on you that made you feel happy and light.

But at the same time, it just felt so wrong to do it. It was like a guilty pleasure, even though you didn't exactly know why you felt guilty. Maybe it was because you two already had partners and it would be a little unfair of your parts to do it? Or maybe was it because deep down you knew it just felt wrong because kissed your best friend's brother? You couldn't really point out what was it, but it left a weird feeling inside your chest.

“I'm sorry” you said in a weak voice, barely over a whisper. What exactly you were apologizing for you didn't know, but it felt like the right thing to do at the moment.

“I wanted to ask you to go to the Ball with me” he quietly admitted and you frowned at him.

“Why didn't you do it then?”

“I promised Ron I wouldn't” you opened your mouth to ask why, but he continued speaking “He said that if we start dating and then break up, he would have to choose between you and me, and he doesn't want that. I felt like it would be a little selfish of me if I asked you out after he told me that, so I came with Angelina.”

Oh. So that was why Ron was acting weird when Hermione mentioned you going out with Fred. You couldn't blame him for it, I mean, you would feel the same if one of your best friends started dating your brother or sister. It was weird to feel like this.

But, wasn't it a little bit selfish of Ron? Like, okay, he doesn't want to pick a side, but doesn't he want you to be happy? What if the relationship lasts for a long time? What if you don't break up and actually be happy with each other? You wouldn't know, because Ron was afraid of the 'what if they break up' part. It actually angered you a little bit.

“What if it goes fine, Fred?” your question finally broke the silence, voice soft and weak as it left your mouth. His eyes turned to you, his warm brown eyes examining every detail of your face. “We wouldn't know because we didn't even try.”

“We could try” he said, a genuine small smile on his lips as he took your hands in his, squeezing them softly in a reassuring way.

“Let's talk about this tomorrow, okay? It's already late” you replied quietly, giving his cheek a kiss before getting up. “Good night, Freddie.”

And then you headed to inside the castle to go to your common room, leaving Fred sitting there alone. You felt bad for leaving right now, but you just needed to think about it and sleep. You could talk about it in the morning.

~

taglist ♡

@bwitchd @fific7 @iamak20 @msmimimerton @grierpilots @idontknowwhatthisisfam @imseeinggred @kashishwrites @tsuukichan @mischiefsemimanaged @just-a-dreamer23

[freedomseeker91]

Browsing through the shelves, Chloe picked up a couple of different boxes of cereal and placed them in the cart, neatly organising all of her items into categories for easy packing at checkout.

As she strolled along she glanced down at her vacant ring finger, the strange feeling of emptiness still niggling at her. Beca had said something about getting their rings professionally cleaned by some company Aubrey had suggested to keep them in good condition and had begrudgingly parted with them on the promise they would be back by the weekend.

Turning down towards the next aisle she perused through the fridges to find her usual go to milk. Full fat for Beca and Riley, almond milk for Chloe and Charlie.

It was amusing to her that even though Riley was biologically Chloe’s and Charlie was biologically Beca’s, that the girls had still somehow inherited particular tastes from the opposite parent.

It warmed Chloe’s heart. While Riley and Charlie were technically half sisters, having been conceived using the same sperm donor, it always intrigued Chloe to think about what connections they would develop with their daughters once they arrived.

A small part of Chloe had worried that the lack of a biological connection would hinder them somehow. But after talking to some colleagues she knew at the high school who had adopted she realised that, biology was just science.

It didn’t matter whose blood each child carried or whether or not they were even birthed by either woman, what mattered was that they were loved so dearly.

Parenthood wasn’t about genetics it was about giving a child all the nurturing they deserved. Giving them a home they could feel safe in.

When Chloe held Charlie for the first time, she felt the same overwhelming feeling she felt the day she gave birth to Riley. That feeling of knowing she would do anything possible to protect her kids and no one other than her wife would love them more than her.

Watching them grow and develop learned behaviours or personality traits from either parent just further proved to Chloe that when it came to parenting nurture would always trump nature.

As she continued down the fridge section for anything else she may need, she found herself coming to a grinding halt when her cart collided with another.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry!” She stated, looking up to find an attractive looking man staring back at her. A charming smile on his face as he waved off her apology.

“Please, it was my fault, I wasn’t looking where I was going,” he responded, hand on his chest as he spoke. He glanced around him and then turned back to Chloe with a curious look on his face.

“You wouldn’t happen to know where the household cleaning products are would you? I just moved here and this store is like a never ending maze so I’m kind of lost,” he said with a small chuckle. Chloe grinned and gestured over her shoulder.

“Oh, yeah, if you take the next left and go down about three aisles you’ll find it on the right,” Chloe smiled, returning her hand to rest on the cart. The man continued to smile at her, a sparkle in his eye.

“I’m Kyle,” he said, sticking his hand out for her to shake and she reciprocated.

“Chloe, it’s nice to meet you,” she replied.

For the next several minutes, they conversed about Kyles move, what brought him to the area and it was then that a lightening bolt went off in Chloe’s head.

“Wait you’re Mr. Parker? The new History teacher?” She asked, having heard through the grapevine about a replacement that had been found for the departing Mr. Reynolds. Kyle grinned and raised his hands in surrender.

“Guilty as charged. I take it you work at the school?” He asked, lowering his hands. Chloe tipped her head.

“Yeah I’m one of the English teachers,” She replied.

Kyle stood there for a moment, looking like he was weighing up whatever was on his mind when he lifted a hand to rub at the back of his neck.

“Hey, I know we just met but, do you maybe wanna go grab a coffee?” He asked.

Chloe’s mouth bobbed up and down as she realised Kyle was shooting his shot with her. Luckily the moment was broken by the sound of little feet dashing towards her.

“Mommy I got the baga- bag- I got the big rolls,” Riley declared, lifting up on her tip toes to raise the two baguettes up to her mother.

Chloe chuckled at Riley’s attempts at pronouncing the word she knew she needed but couldn’t quite get out before accepting the rolls.

“Thanks Ry-Ry,” Chloe beamed as another little lightening rocket came toddling along. Charlie’s little running feet were growing in fast and since she learned to move faster there was no stopping her.

“Mommm,” Charlie muttered around her pacifier, a bag of smaller little roles in her hand. Charlie collided with Chloe’s legs and raised the bag up just like her sister and Chloe accepted the bag, depositing it in the cart.

“Thanks Baby,” Chloe giggled, leaning down and picking Charlie up who was giving her hand signals that she wanted off her feet.

Kyle glanced back and forth between Chloe and the two little girls.

“Oh, you... have... kids,” he slowly stuttered out, his brows raised in surprise.

Chloe couldn’t help but bite down on her lower lip to suppress the amused grin that was threatening to break loose.

“Yeah,” she replied, “this is Riley,” she said gesturing down to the little girl hanging off the edge of the cart, “and this is Charlie,” she gestured to the toddler in her arms.

Kyle just grinned a little, obviously trying to hide his surprise before shaking his head and setting himself back into charm offensive mode again.

“They’re adorable. Clearly they take after Mom,” he replied.

Chloe pulled her lips into a thin line, eyebrows raised as she nodded her head and smiled politely. Clearly the guy needed a direct clarification on Chloe’s status. Luckily, it arrived in the form of her wife wheeling herself towards them, a six pack of beer and a bottle of wine resting on her lap.

“Well I guess we know who won the let’s find Mommy race,” Beca grinned at her daughters as she rolled to a stop, placing the items in her lap into the cart.

“How about next time we don’t run off on Mama on our own huh bug,” Beca said as she gently pinched Riley’s side, “you too missy,” she said gesturing with her finger towards Charlie.

Chloe saw this as an opportunity to make a very clear statement as she swooped down and pressed her lips to Beca’s.

“Hey babe,” Chloe greeted as she stood up straight, “this is Kyle. He just moved here he’s the new history teacher at the school. Kyle, this is my wife, Beca.”

Beca, still momentarily dazed by the kiss, snapped back to reality and turned her attention and her chair towards the man standing nearby.

“Oh you’re the dude taking over from ‘Bore Man Reynolds,” Beca remarked as she lifted her hand for Kyle to shake, which he reciprocated, before turning his attention back to Chloe.

“Oh, your wife,” he said, a touch of surprise. Beca, clueless to the previous exchange, simply glanced up at her wife with a loving look on her face.

“I know right. I totally lucked out with this one,” Beca responded winking at Kyle who chuckled nervously.

Chloe reached a hand down and lovingly cupped the back of her wife’s neck, her thumb swiping across it in a gentle manner.

“I’m the lucky one,” she smiled at Beca before glancing back up at Kyle, the look of resignation finally creeping in as his shoulders lowered and he gave both women a tight lipped grin.

“Well, it was nice meeting you both. I look forward to working with you Chloe,” he said before giving a small wave and continuing down the aisle. Both women watching him leave.

“I’ll give him one thing, that guy is gonna be a another piece of eye candy for the school,” Beca muttered as she turned her chair to face the direction Chloe had the shopping cart aimed. The redhead furrowed her brow in question.

“Another? Why who else has been catching your eye at the local high school?” Chloe queried as she placed Charlie into the toddler seat in the cart and Beca gazed up at the ceiling.

“Oh there’s this one chick, teaches English, suuuuuuper hot. Beautiful big blue eyes and gorgeous red hair. She wears these pencil skirts sometimes that really show off the definition and tone of her legs. Think you could get me her number?” Beca asked and Chloe chuckled as she leaned down again.

“Oh I could do more than get you her number,” Chloe whispered as she pressed a kiss to Beca’s lips. The moment was interrupted when Riley plopped herself in her Mama’s lap and pulled Beca’s face away from Chloe.

“Mom’s stop kissing,” Riley groaned and both women giggled before setting off for the checkout aisle.

One the family arrived home and Riley and Charlie suitably occupied with cartoons on the tv, Chloe divulged the full context of her conversation with Kyle to her wife who sat in front of her with a raised eyebrow.

“Wait, he hit on you?” Beca exclaimed, as she picked up the various different cereal boxes, placed them on her lap and wheeled over to the appropriate cabinet. Chloe giggled.

“Hit on me and asked me out for coffee,” the redhead replied, shaking her head at the notion of it all.

Beca huffed out a ‘huh’ as she packed away the cereal and then manoeuvred back over towards the island where Chloe was unpacking more groceries. Reaching out Beca grabbed Chloe’s hand and gazed up at her with a raised brow.

“I knew my wife was hot but damn. I didn’t think I’d have to worry about losing you to the new hot History teacher,” Beca sassed and Chloe shook her head in amusement as she allowed Baca to link both of their hands, Chloe giving them a squeeze as she lowered herself in Beca’s lap.

“If there’s one thing I’m certain of in this world, it’s that you never have to worry about losing me. To anyone,” Chloe stated, as she leaned in for a sweet kiss.

As their lips parted Beca reached up a hand and tucked a stray strand of hair behind Chloes ear, cradling her wife’s cheek for a moment as she smiled warmly at her.

“Good to know,” Beca replied as Chloe’s arms came to settle around her neck.

“How do you feel after you first proper excursion?” Chloe asked, hands gently massaging the back of her wife’s neck.

Beca mulled it over in her head for a moment. It had been the first major public outing for the former soldier since coming home. She had made several day trips during her time at the centre, however they were usually only for an hour or two max and usually only to one place at a time. This was the first time Beca had been out and about for a considerable length of time.

They had made several stops at various different places, the dry cleaners, the bank, one of the local ice cream parlours and then the grocery story. They had even stoped by the library to pick up some books. Beca had done more social integrating in one day than she had over several months at the centre.

She noticed the looks from people, some sympathetic, some curious, and there were moments where she felt like turning around and going back home, hiding away from it all.

But Chloe motivated her to carry on. At no point did Chloe treat Beca any differently to how she normally would have. She didn’t molly coddle her or try to do things for her unless asked. She gave Beca the freedom to just be herself.

Having the girls there was a great distraction because it allowed her to focus on them rather than the people around her.

And in moments when she found herself struggling to reach for something or trying to get down a crowded aisle, she took a deep breath, collected herself and then asked for assistance or for people to excuse themselves out of her way.

Those moments when someone would jump to help her out sat funny in her chest. Things were just different, and she had to adjust.

“It was hard,” Beca answered honestly, adhering to the promise they had made to keep the lines of communication open and Chloe nodded in understanding, softly caressing the back of her wife’s neck and listening intently.

“You know there were moments where I just wanted to bail out of there,” Beca shook her head as if trying to expel a bad memory and then she glanced up into Chloe’s eyes.

“But having you and the girls there made it easier. It kept me focused. Took my mind of everything else.”

Chloe leaned in and nuzzled her nose against Beca’s.

“I’m glad we could do that for you. But you know if it ever gets too much or too overwhelming, you can always tell me and we can leave. You don’t have to face everything all at once.”

Beca nodded her head, of course she knew this, but she also knew if she didn’t try to take those figurative steps outside of her bubble, she would get too comfortable and never want to leave.

She couldn’t allow herself to relax into a false sense of security. Her daughters were growing up and wanted to explore, and she wanted to be able to explore the world with them and watch their little faces light up as they became more aware of the world around them.

“I know, but I want to. I want to be able to go places with you guys and feel comfortable and I know the only way to do that is to push myself outside of my comfort zone,” Beca replied and she watched as Chloe’s face turned sceptical.

“But I promise I won’t overdo it. If I get overwhelmed, I’ll tell you. I’m not gonna do anything to push my recovery back.”

Those words seemed to placate Chloe whose shoulders visibly relaxed and she pressed one more kiss to her wife’s lips before standing up again.

“That’s all I ask,” the redhead said as both women returned to packing away the groceries.

That evening, they decided to have a pizza night outside under the stars. They made a handful of their own small homemade pizzas, with each of their favourite toppings and played games until it was time for the girls to have their bath and go to bed.

Once they were alone, Beca and Chloe curled up on the couch with a glass of red wine for Chloe and a beer for Beca, as the brunette strummed the tune of some songs on her guitar.

As the weekend rolled around, Chloe found herself being ushered out of the house very early on a Saturday morning by Aubrey for a hike and early breakfast. Not sure what the purpose was, she agreed non the less, feeling like it would be good for her to get out and sweat for a bit.

As they were leaving the house, Aubrey turned before closing the door, subtly winking at Beca and gesturing for her to check the pouch on the back of her chair, and then gesturing towards her ring finger.

Beca instantly knew what she was talking about and slipped her hand being her back and reached inside, her hand coming into contact with a large square box.

She mouthed a thank you to Aubrey as the blonde pulled the door shut, and within minutes of them leaving, Jesse came bounding in with a spring in his step, Chloe’s brothers, wives, both sets of parents, and the rest of their rag tag group of friends arriving soon after.

“Okay, we’ve got a lot to do and not a lot of time to do it. Boys, you’re on heavy lifting duty, ladies, you’re on decorating duty. We need to move and we need to move fast. The caterers will be here soon along with the celebrant. Let’s get to it.”

Everyone whooped and hollered, clapping their hands as they all got to work. The boys made a dash for outside while the women sorted through all the decorations and made notes as to where they would place the flowers once they arrived.

Beca quickly retreated to the master bedroom followed by Jessica and got her to lay the garment bag in the wardrobe onto the bed. Beca placed an envelope with Chloe’s name on it on top with a single Lily flower, her favourite, and then left the room.

As the day rolled into the afternoon, and the backyard now set for a vow renewal ceremony, everyone took turns quickly showering and changing before escaping outdoors just in time for Chloe to arrive home with Aubrey.

“What’s everyone doing here?” Chloe asked, gazing out from the passenger seat at all the other cars in the yard as they pulled to a stop at the front of the house. Aubrey smiled at her and handed her an envelope which Chloe took and removed the note from inside.

Waiting for you out back is a surprise. But you need to get dressed first. So please don’t peek. Follow Aubrey to our room and when you’re ready.... meet me outside. I love you x

“What’s going on?” Chloe asked and Aubrey just grinned at her.

“Follow me and you’ll find out.”

Sceptical, but curious non the less, Chloe followed Aubrey inside the house, the blonde making sure that Chloe went straight to the master bedroom. Opening the bedroom door, she was met by the smiling face of Jessica who was sat by the vanity mirror, an array of make-up and hair styling equipment splayed out in front of her.

Chloe then turned towards the bed and noticed the garment bag. Glancing at Aubrey and then walking towards it, she picked up the envelop and opened it, removing the note inside.

Aside from the birth of our daughters, marrying you was the best day of my life. So, what do you say we relive that feeling again? How about it Chlo? Will you make me the luckiest woman alive and marry a second time? I love you x

Chloe raised a hand to her mouth in shock and then a soft sob escaped her. She glanced up towards Aubrey and Jessica, her hand now resting over her chest.

“Is she serious? This is really happening?” She asked. And Jessica nodded.

“See for yourself,” she said, gesturing to the garment bag.

Chloe carefully picked it up and lowered the zipper, a stunned ‘oh my God’ falling breathlessly from her lips as she gazed at the beautiful lace dress starting back at her.

“Hey we can fawn over how gorgeous the dress is later, we gotta get you married... again,” Aubrey declared as she made her way over to Chloe and grabbed a hold of the dress.

“You grab a shower and then Jess is gonna work her magic. I’m gonna shower and change and then when I get back, I’ll help you put this on,” Aubrey instructed and Chloe shook her head free of her dazed state and quickly dashed for the shower, grabbing her robe as she left.

An hour later, with her ginger hair beautifully swept up and clipped back with just some loose strands dangling either side of her face, Aubrey handed Chloe a bouquet of flowers and led her to the back porch where her father was standing in the entryway waiting for her.

“As radiant as ever,” John beamed, dressed in a three-piece light grey suit with a lavender tie and matching pocket square. Chloe smiled up at her dad, eyes welling up as she linked his arm and they stepped out on to the porch.

Outside, the backyard had been transformed into a beautiful outdoor setting, a decorative table off to the side under a marquee with white and lavender detailing throughout and candle lanterns along the way. Lights had been strung up overhead to illuminate the area later in the evening and there was a dance floor off to the side.

Ahead of her, was a flower petal pathway from the house all the way down to the dock, reminiscent of Beca’s proposal, music softly playing over the speakers that had been set up.

In the distance Chloe could see her family and friends all gathered around. The men all in grey suits and lavender ties, the women all in various hues of lavender dress. Perfect for the time of year.

As they got closer to the dock, Chloe noticed the beautiful floral wedding arch, the celebrant stood in the centre and then, she saw Beca wheel herself into place, dressed from head to toe in her Army Dress Blues.

The sight brought a tear to Chloe’s eye as she finally released a watery smile. Beca was looking at her like she was the only person on the planet.

Beca choked back the tears as she watched her wife get closer and closer, looking as breathtaking as ever. Once Chloe reached her, they instantly sought out one another’s hands, Chloe passing her bouquet off to her mother.

“I can’t believe you did all this,” Chloe said, her voice thick with emotion. Beca just smiled at her.

“When you have an amazing woman by your side, you’ll do anything for her,” Beca replied, making everyone swoon.

Chloe gazed over Beca’s attire, taking in the pants, jacket, the military patches and of course, the endless array of medals. Chloe never thought she would see Beca acknowledge the Army again after everything, but something had been resurrected within her.

The celebrant cleared his throat and both women chuckled having both realised they had gotten carried away in whatever moment they were having and listened intently to what was being said. After a brief intro, he encouraged them to say a few words.

Beca gazed up at Chloe, gripping her hands tightly as she took a breath to collect herself.

“I’ve spent weeks opening and closing my notes app on my phone, jotting down things I thought I might wanna say. But the closer I got to this moment, the more I realised that, after all this time, I don’t have to find the words anymore,” Beca said.

“We’ve been through so much, I’ve put you through so much, and yet even when we were apart, no matter how many miles were between us I could always feel you. I could feel how much you loved me and I knew, I knew then that what we have, it goes beyond two people falling in love,” Beca sighed and Chloe wiped away the tear that had slipped past her defences.

“We were meant to find one another. We were meant to share this life and build this family. I was made to love you Chlo.”

Beca shook her head for a moment to quell the emotions building within her, trying to push their way to the surface.

“All this time I spent trying to pave a path for myself, believing that I had a calling I needed to serve. But the truth is, my purpose has been standing in front of me this entire time. You’re my purpose Chlo. You and the girls. You’re the reason I live, my reason to want to live and to want to fight.”

By this point, everyone watching was growing misty eyed as they listened intently, Chloe was barely holding it together, but Beca just kept pushing those emotions down to get to the end.

“This uniform, it’s not about fighting for my country and creating a better place, I thought it was but it’s not. It’s about me doing everything I possibly can to protect you, Riley and Charlie, to keep you safe. I would do anything for you guys.”

Taking a breath, Beca coughed to clear her throat as she found herself struggling to hold back the overwhelming since of feeling choked up.

“You once said I looked death in the face and didn’t even flinch. The truth is I was terrified. But I knew what I had to do. I had to protect my family because the thought of anything happening to you guys, that’s worse than anything any army, any militia or any war could ever throw at me.”

By this point, the women were all openly weeping and Chloe was barely keeping it together. The men had even given up trying to keep a stiff upper lip. Who were they kidding themselves, there wasn’t a macho men amongst them. They were all softies underneath.

“I love you Chloe, with everything I have and everything that I am. And I’m so incredibly lucky that I get to be the one you share your life with because you are beauty personified inside and out. You are the strongest person I know, you’ve carried our family, literally carried me, through everything life has thrown at us and never faltered. And our daughters are truly blessed to have you as their mom.”

With that Beca placed a kiss on Chloe’s hands which were still grasped gently in her own. The redhead retrieved one of them to wipe at the tears rolling down her cheeks.

“God how am I supposed to follow that?” She giggled, as everyone else chuckled too, Aubrey handing out tissues to everyone around her.

Taking a moment to gather herself, Chloe thought for a moment about what she wanted to say. But her wife was right, no words could ever truly sum up how she felt. So she did only thing she could think of, she spoke from the heart.

 “Growing up I always had this image in my head of what I wanted in a partner, what I wanted in a co-parent. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined that I would find someone who would surpass all of my dreams and expectations,” Chloe said, squeezing Beca’s hands.

“I thought I knew what love was, thought I understood what it was supposed to feel like. But God Bec, what we have, it’s more than just love, it’s everything. It’s the very foundation of our family, it’s the life force that has kept us together through everything.”

Chloe glanced down at their joined hands, her thumbs rubbing across Beca’s knuckles.

“You’re right, we don’t have to say it anymore because no matter where we are that love, that connection, it’s always there, getting stronger and stronger every single day.”

Glancing back up, Chloe felt herself physically choke up at the thought of what she wanted to say next. But she pushed through because she needed Beca to know.

“The day I thought I lost you, that was the most unimaginable pain. I felt like my heart had been ripped out and it shattered me because in that moment I realised, I don’t know how to exist without you. I don’t want to exist without you, ever.”

Beca squeezed Chloe’s hands tightly at this, her way of letting her know she was there and she wasn’t going anywhere without physically speaking the words.

“The love that we share the love that you give me and our girls every single day, the way you protect us and the sacrifices you’ve made, are the greatest gifts anyone has ever given me and I treasure them every single day. You, our family, is everything to me. And nothing and no one will ever change that. You have me completely Bec’s, forever. In this life and whatever life comes next. I love you, always.”

By the time both women had finished their vows, there wasn’t a dry eye to be found. The celebrant then moved the ceremony along to the ring exchange.

Beca turned her head with a smile and Chloe followed her line of sight to find her two daughters walking towards them in matching white flower girls’ dresses with lavender sashes tied neatly into little bows around their waists. Chloe’s eyes welled up once again at the fact that this time around, she was getting to share this day, one of the the most important days of her life with her daughters.

Riley held onto her little sisters’ hand as Charlie toddled alongside her towards their mother’s. Once they were close enough Riley reached out towards Beca and handed her the rings she had been holding.

Chloe grinned knowingly having realised the “ring cleaning” had all been a rouse.

Beca gently grasped Chloe’s hand and raised it up, gently slipping both her wife’s wedding band and engagement ring back onto her finger.

When Chloe looked down, she realised that something was different. Her diamond wedding band had doubled in size and had been joined by a second diamond band that had somehow been shaped to loop into an infinity knot that still sat perfectly against her engagement ring.

It was beautiful and she couldn’t help but smile lovingly at Beca. Then she glanced down to find Charlie reaching upwards with her hand having been coached by her sister.

Chloe reached out her hand palm up and accepted the ring, winking at Charlie as she turned back towards Beca. Taking hold of her wife’s hand, she slipped the redesigned band onto the brunettes ring finger and then pressed a kiss to it, admiring the new design.

Beca had added two diamond inlays next to the bevelled edges of her wedding band along with an infinity loop pattern lightly engraved into the centre that circled around the band. On the inside of three of the loops she could see the initials C, R, C.

And Chloe’s heart swelled. It reminded her of the tattoo on Beca’s side. Her wife’s guardian angels. Always by her side, literally.

Their little bubble was burst by the words of the celebrant.

“By the power vested in me, I pronounce you wife and wife.... again. Shall we seal it with a kiss?” The celebrant asked and Chloe and Beca were only too happy to oblige.

Everyone cheered as the happy couple leaned into a passionate kiss, Beca eventually pulling Chloe down into her lap and deepening it.

Eventually they broke apart and Beca began wheeling herself and Chloe back up towards the house, their family heading for the marquee to give the women a moment to themselves.

Once they reached the porch Chloe glanced around at the catering company that had taken up residence in her kitchen, everyone smiling at the happy couple as they passed through.

Beca wheeled them into the front living room so they were alone and it was in that moment that Chloe kissed her wife how she had wanted to outside, with a longing that left no room for debate in how she was feeling.

“I love you so much. I can’t believe you did all this,” Chloe whispered, her arms curled around Beca’s neck with her hands cupping at the back of her head and neck. Beca just pecked her on the lips and smiled lovingly back at her.

“I’ve been planning it for months with Aubrey and Jesse. I just, I needed you to know how much you mean to me, how much your support means to me. Meeting you, marrying you, building a family with you, that’s been my greatest achievement and I wanted to celebrate you and our family.”

Chloe’s eyes welled up again and she locked lips with her wife, not trusting herself to speak just yet. Then she gazed at her redesigned wedding ring and Beca took notice.

“I had it engraved on the back. I know you saw the engraving on mine, I had the same one engraved on the back of your so they match.”

Chloe admired it for a moment more before unwrapping her arms from around Beca’s neck and running her hands down the front of her wife’s dress suit.

“I never thought I’d see this again?” Chloe admitted. Beca nodded.

“I meant what I said. This suit, the army, everything I’ve fought for, it’s all been for you, and the girls. It just took me some time to realise it.”

Chloe smiled and gaze down at the medals and patches, running her hands over them. The sight never ceasing to make her heart swell with pride.

“We should head out. Don’t want to keep everyone waiting. Plus the quicker we get out there the quicker the night ends and I get you to myself, well almost.” Chloe winked and Beca chuckled.

“My parents are taking the girls for the night, so yes, you have me all to yourself.”

Chloe gave her wife one last quick peck before standing up and walking through the house to the outdoor reception area followed close behind by her wife, their family and friends cheering as they arrived.

“To the happy couple,” Peter, the eldest Beale brother toasted as everyone raised their champagne flutes before Beca cut them off.

“Alright enough of the mushy stuff for now, let’s eat. Before John and Jack insist on giving a sermon each,” Beca joked, everyone giggling at the good-natured rib ticking.

Chloe wasn’t sure what she was expecting for their reception meal, but a good old-fashioned BBQ wasn’t it, but it was so perfectly them.

Ribs, burgers, chicken, all the trimmings, everything that usually summed up a good old family BBQ just like the ones they always had during the summer. The ones that brought back so many good memories.

Everyone huddled around the dining table outdoors eating good food, enjoying good company, sharing stories and laughter, always laughter.

Beca had taken the things they treasured most and wrapped them up into one perfect day. Their first wedding had been amazing, the day that they had promised themselves to one another so completely being a top 3 highlight.

But getting to share in that day again, this time with with their daughters present and with a greater sense of what truly mattered, somehow it felt all the more worthwhile and it made it mean that much more.

As the night wore on and the stars began to sparkle overhead, Jesse announced that it was time for the couple to share in their second first dance. As they made it to the dance floor that had been laid down especially, Chloe watched with a confused look on her face as Jesse and Aubrey’s husband Daniel, joined Beca on the floor.

The two men leaned down either side of Beca as she lifted each leg from the foot rest of her chair and placed them on the floor. Once her feet were touching the ground, the men placed one of their legs next to one of Beca’s and began to tie their legs together like they would a three legged race.

When they were set, and Beca had assured them she was okay, she placed her arms around their necks as they gently placed theirs around her waist and hoisted her into a standing position.

Tears rolled down Chloe’s cheeks as she realised what was happening. Beca was using Jesse and Daniels legs as props for her own. The men “walked” Beca towards Chloe just as the opening melody of Bless The Broken Road began to play and when she was close enough, Beca unwrapped her arms from around Jesse and Daniel and wrapped them around Chloe’s neck.

The redhead instantly latched onto her wife, placing her hands around the brunettes midriff so that Jesse and Daniel could continue to support her while Chloe balanced her out. As the music played on, they both got lost in the lyrics and the moment, forgetting about the two men swaying close by to manoeuvre Beca’s feet.

“I know I’m not as smoothed as I used to be, but I just really wanted to dance with you like we did before,” Beca whispered.

Chloe turned her head and nuzzled her nose in against the side of Beca’s face, peppering it with kisses, her tears continuing to fall.

She knew how huge this moment was for Beca, especially with her paralysis still being relatively new to them. For her to have even thought about doing this was a moment in itself. One Chloe would never forget.

She could actually see their mothers and Aubrey physically trying to pull themselves together as they watched from across the way. Aubrey yet again handing out tissues.

“I love you,” Chloe whispered back as she leaned in so their bodies were flush against one another, wrapping her arms tightly around her wife.

As the song came to an end, Beca glanced over towards the side of the dance floor and then to Jesse and Daniel.

“You got one more dance in you? Cause there’s two little ladies I wanna dance with before the nights out,” Beca asked.

Jesse and Daniel both gazed in the direction of the two little girls watching from the side of the dance floor and then grinned at one another.

“I think we can make it work,” Daniel replied, an easygoing tone to his voice.

Chloe beamed as Daniel called for Riley and Charlie, the eldest Mitchell child dashing across the dance floor to her mother’s as Diane walked across with Charlie, the little girl sucking on her pacifier and gripping her teddy bear which had been brought out to comfort the tired toddler.

With Jesse and Daniel reinforcing their hold on Beca, the brunette was able to reach out and take Charlie into her arms. Chloe then hoisted Riley up so the family could dance together, this time throwing it back to N*Syncs This I Promise You.

Chloe couldn’t help but think how apt the lyrics were, expecting nothing less from her wife who always chose songs for a reason.

This wasn’t just a song for Chloe, this was a promise to their daughters from Beca that she would always be there for them. And if life had taught them anything, it’s that when Beca made a promise, she kept it. Against all odds.

With the song coming to an end, and Beca no longer having the stamina to stay in an upright position that was now foreign to her, even with Jesse and Daniel holding her up, the two men helped ease her back down into her chair as Diane and Meredith took the girls to get them ready for their sleepover.

“Thanks guys,” Beca said as she bumped fists with both Jesse and Daniel, the men retreating back to the dining area to their partners, earning major brownie points for their efforts.

“So that’s why you’ve been sneaking off,” Aubrey said as she pulled her husband in for a quick kiss. Daniel smiling down at her.

“Beca wanted it to be a surprise for Chloe. And everyone else,” he replied, giving his wife another quick peck as they took their seats to chow down on some nibbles.

With the second first dance now out of the way, the floor had opened up to everyone else and Chloe and Beca found a new rhythm to dancing with a chair for the uptempo songs, however for the slow songs, Chloe always perched herself in her wife’s lap, wanting to be as close as possible.

As the night wore on, and Riley and Charlie growing more and more exhausted from the days activities, Jack and Diane took that as their cue to hit the road to the get the girls to bed.

Before they left, the girls said goodnight to their mothers, Beca and Chloe showering them with hugs and kisses as Jack promised to call when they got home.

“Love you,” Chloe said as she placed one more kiss on each of her daughters heads, Beca doing the same before waving them off.

Just after midnight, most everyone agreed that it was time to call it a night, mostly because they wanted to give the newly remarried couple the rest of the night to themselves to do as they pleased.

Chloe thanked everyone for coming and Beca thanked everyone individually for helping her pull everything together as they all left.

Finally alone, and with the majority of the cleaning having been done by the caterers, the two women retreated to their room for the night.

Whilst Beca took a shower, Chloe sat at the vanity mirror and unpinned her hair, removing various pieces of jewellery and then she slid off her wedding and engagement rings.

Holding her wedding band up in front of her, she glanced at the inside and rotated it to see that along with the date she and Beca met, which Beca pointed out was more important than their wedding date as there wouldn’t have been a wedding had they not met, she also saw the added inscription of B, R, C.

Placing them carefully inside her jewellery box, she removed her dress, which her wife had the foresight to unzip for her before heading for the shower, and then she shrugged off her underwear making a dash across the room to the ensuite.

Stepping inside the steamy room, she opened the door of the shower and stepped inside, making Beca grin at her arrival as the red head took up a position behind her.

“I’m big into water conservation,” Chloe winked and Beca just chuckled.

“I’m sure you are,” she said, tilting her head back so that Chloe could lean down and kiss her.

Hands grazed and explored as much skin as possible as their quick shower turned into a heated make out session, until Beca suggested taking it to the bedroom before they shrivelled up.

Quickly washing their hair and finishing up, they dried out their hair as much as possible with towels and the hair dryers that had their own place in the en suite and when they were sufficiently dry enough, made their way into the bedroom.

Neither bothered putting clothes back on, as Chloe said, it wasn’t worth it just to rip them off again, so they headed over towards the bed. As Beca got herself situated, Chloe retrieved her rings from the jewellery box and slipped them back on as Beca grabbed hers from her bedside cabinet.

Neither ever slept without their rings, both of them feeling bare without it. Beca had contemplated going without hers while away with the military until Chloe slipped a cheaper plain platinum and black band on her finger so she didn’t have to go without.

Once Beca was settled, Chloe strutted towards her, climbed up onto the bed and then straddled her wife as she kissed her hard and deep. Beca’s hands came up to rest on Chloe’s back, stroking the length of it as she tried to feel every inch of her wife’s body.

In a bid to get things kickstarted, Beca and Chloe had keenly investigated and researched ways to improve sexual intimacy. It was important to Chloe that when they did finally get intimate again that Beca felt good too.

For a couple of weeks, the brunette had been using an Eros Therapy device to help with stimulation with surprisingly satisfactory results all things considered.

Chloe at the time had been unaware that Beca was trying to get herself ready for this particular night after their vow renewal, wanting to try and make it as special as possible.

As things began to get real hot and heavy, Beca slipped one hand down between their bodies and slipped her fingers between her wife’s folds, eliciting a groan of satisfaction from Chloe as Beca marvelled in the other woman’s clear and present arousal. Parting from their kiss Beca gazed into her wife’s eyes.

“I have something else for you but I’m gonna need help putting it on,” Beca remarked and Chloe eyed her curiously.

“It’s in my top drawer,” Beca supplied and without lifting herself from where she was perched on her wife’s lap, Chloe reached over, opened the top drawer and was momentarily frozen to the spot as she gazed down at the items.

Retrieving them from the drawer she leaned back and held up the strap on and the relatively generous sized dildo that was now in her possession.

“Seriously?” Chloe asked with a grin, her excitement at the prospect ringing through her words.

They’d never really used toys before. Vibrators sure, but they’d never felt the need to add anything else to their more than healthy sex life. So this was a pleasant surprise.

“Mhmm,” Beca hummed and Chloe pecked her on the lips as she dismounted her wife and helped Beca to pull on the straps and situated the harnesses and the dildo so that everything was secure.

Beca reached over to her drawer and pulled out the KY jelly bottle and poured a generous amount into her hand, stroking the length of the shaft to cover it, making it glisten with slickness.

Chloe climbed back on the bed and eyed her wife for a moment, wondering the logistics of what was next.

“How do you wanna do this?” She asked, needing Beca to take lead on it. The brunette reached out and took Chloe’s hand pulling her towards her.

“You can straddle me if it’s comfortable,” Beca suggested and Chloe smiled because yes, the idea of straddling her wife and riding her to oblivion absolutely worked for Chloe.

Positioning her legs either side of Beca’s and using the headboard as a brace, Chloe lined herself up with the dildo, Beca watching her for any sign of discomfort, and then slowly and carefully lowered herself down onto it, inch by inch until it was fully immersed inside of her.

Once it was all the way in, Beca placed her hands-on Chloe’s thighs, stroking them softly as a gasp escaped her wife at the sensation.

“You okay,” she whispered and Chloe nodded her head, a look of utter pleasure taking over.

“More than,” Chloe replied as she slowly began to rock her hips. Releasing her hold on the headboard, Chloe reached down and grabbed a hold of her wife’s hands from where they had been resting, linking their fingers together.

It didn’t take long for Chloe to ride her way through the best orgasm she’d had in months, and the look of unadulterated pleasure on her face made Beca tingle in ways she thought would never be possible again.

When Chloe finally came down from her high, she lifted herself up and shuddered as the dildo slid out, sending aftershocks through her body.

Laying down and snuggling into Beca’s side, she took a moment to collect herself, and then helped Beca out of the harness and deposited it on the ground next to the bed.

Leaning over she kissed Beca, and then reached out to the side of the bed to pick up the tube of KY jelly. Beca eyed her curiously and watched as Chloe poured a generous amount onto her hands and then returned the tube to the bedside cabinet.

Gazing at her wife who was curled up onto her side, Beca watched as Chloe lowered her hand to between her wife’s legs and began to gently slip her fingers between her wife’s folds, smoothing the jelly up and down to give just enough lubrication.

Using her thumb, Chloe stimulated Beca’s clit as her fingers circled her entrance before dipping one finger in and working her way up to two.

For a moment Beca wasn’t feeling anything, until she suddenly began to feel this feeling low in the pit of her stomach that grew more pleasurable as Chloe changed up rhythms and patterns.

Suddenly out of nowhere, Beca was seeing stars and Chloe watched on mesmerised as she helped guide her wife down from her her high. From under hooded eyes, Beca gazed at wife and then leaned in and kissed her.

“I love you,” Beca whispered as Chloe wiped her fingers and wrapped her arm across her wife’s waist, pressing a kiss to her scarred chest right over her heart and then her lips.

“I love you too. So much,” Chloe replied. After helping Beca into a more horizontal lying position and pulling the bed covers up over them, Chloe settled in to her favourite position, curled up in her wife’s arms.

“I can’t believe you did all this. All of it, it was perfect,” Chloe sighed and Beca placed a kiss to her forehead.

“I had a lot of help. Aubrey and Jesse, they’ve been in on it from the beginning. Then I got our folks and everyone else involved. It was a team effort,” Beca replied, refusing to take all the credit for what was essentially her idea, but could never have come to fruition without their nearest and dearest helping her out.

“Bec’s you really need to learn to just accept gratitude. I know everyone helped, but I know that every part of today, every detail was you,” Chloe said as she stroked her fingers up and down her wife’s side, the brunette listening intently.

“No one could’ve made today what it was without knowing who we are as a couple and that could only come from us. You made this day so special. Everything was just perfect,” Chloe’s eyes welling up as she thought about the events of that day.

Beca wrapped her arms tighter around Chloe, her lips remaining pressed against her wife’s forehead as she felt as much as heard the emotional tremor in Chloe’s voice.

“You deserved it. All of it. What you’ve done for me, for us, our family. You’re incredible Chlo and I’ll never be able to repay you for the way you’ve stood by me all these years. I meant what I said, I know it hasn’t been easy, but I’ll never take any of it, I’ll never take you for granted.”

Chloe leaned up and connected this lips in a long slow kiss, before gazing into Beca’s eyes.

“How about we call it even? I don’t have the words right now after that orgasm to play the who’s the better wife game,” Chloe mumbled and Beca chuckled.

“Sounds good to me,” the brunette replied as they hunkered down for the night, fully sated and content for the first time in a long time. Both women could finally say that life was good. Different, but good.

The next day, having woken up at the break of dawn, Chloe eased herself out of bed and headed down to the kitchen and put on a fresh pot of coffee.

She busied herself with making some bacon, scrambled eggs and pancakes. Normally she would put together something more nutritious, conscious of Beca’s heart and overall health, but after the previous days events she felt the least she could do was relax for one morning.

Once the food was ready, she placed it in the oven to keep warm, poured herself a coffee and walked out to the back porch, watching the sun rise over the lake. She would never get over the peace she found out at the lake house.

The sounds and sights of nature surrounding them, all in their own little private haven. The fact she could now call it home not lost on her. The house was the perfect place for them to heal and recharge.

Having more memories to add to their growing reel just further deepening Chloe’s love of the place she had spent every childhood summer. The place she would now nurture her own family.

As if on cue, she heard the faint sounds of her wife wheeling across the kitchen and out onto the porch, coming to a stop right next to Chloe.

“It’s crazy how many memories we’ve made where already. I don’t think anywhere else on earth will ever make me feel as special as this place,” Chloe shrugged and smiled down at her wife who looked lost in thought. And then navy eyes gazed up at her as Beca laced their fingers together.

“Good, cause I was thinking, I know what I want to do with the money your dad invested for us,” Beca said and Chloe turned, giving her her full attention.

“You know the old abandoned campsite compound a couple miles down the road?” Beca asked and Chloe nodded.

“Yeah, what about it?” The redhead replied, curious to find out where this was going.

“I want to create a place, a retreat for veterans. Somewhere they can go to escape and heal and spend time with their families. Kind of like what we have here with the girls.”

Chloe couldn’t help but smile at the thought, knowing how beneficial the lake house had been to Beca and their family. To create something similar but on a larger scale to support other veterans was just so Beca.

“I think that’s an amazing idea,” Chloe beamed as she took a seat on Beca’s lap and kissed her.

“I was thinking we could call it Safe Haven,” Beca suggested and Chloe was already fully on board. Then licked her lips as she readied herself to divulge something she had been thinking about for a while.

“Actually, I’ve been thinking a lot about my career lately and where I wanna go,” Chloe started and Beca rested a hand on her thigh to stroke it in an encouraging manner.

“I wanna give up teaching. Not forever, just for a while,” Chloe stated and Beca eyed her curiously, so she continued.

“I think I wanna go back to college and get my Masters in Psychology and train up to be a counsellor, for veteran families.”

Beca gazed into Chloe’s eyes, checking for any ounce of hesitation or doubt, finding none.

“Yeah?” She asked and Chloe nodded.

“Yeah. Being at the clinic, going through group therapy and working with the therapists there, I feel like, with everything we’ve been through I could really help some people you know. Be that voice of understanding for people who are going through where we’ve been.”

Beca kissed Chloe and stoked her cheek, her eyes a light with pride.

“If that’s what you wanna do, I’ll support you 100%. I think you’d be amazing at it,”Beca said and Chloe felt relieved that they were on the same page.

Gazing out at the lake, the thought about the endless possibilities that were now in front of them and the fact that they had finally settled on a goal to work towards.

They knew there would be a lot of work involved and a lot of red tape to get through, but they knew working together as a team they could achieve anything.

Safe Haven would be their token of acknowledgement to all the soldiers and families that served. A place where they could truly feel safe, seen and heard. And I the Beca and Chloe couldn’t be more excited for the next chapter of their lives.

[whitehotharlots]

The point is control

Whenever we think or talk about censorship, we usually conceptualize it as certain types of speech being somehow disallowed: maybe (rarely) it's made formally illegal by the government, maybe it's banned in certain venues, maybe the FCC will fine you if you broadcast it, maybe your boss will fire you if she learns of it, maybe your friends will stop talking to you if they see what you've written, etc. etc. 

This understanding engenders a lot of mostly worthless discussion precisely because it's so broad. Pedants--usually arguing in favor of banning a certain work or idea--will often argue that speech protections only apply to direct, government bans. These bans, when they exist, are fairly narrow and apply only to those rare speech acts in which other people are put in danger by speech (yelling the N-word in a crowded theater, for example). This pedantry isn't correct even within its own terms, however, because plenty of people get in trouble for making threats. The FBI has an entire entrapment program dedicated to getting mentally ill muslims and rednecks to post stuff like "Death 2 the Super bowl!!" on twitter, arresting them, and the doing a press conference about how they heroically saved the world from terrorism. 

Another, more recent pedant's trend is claiming that, actually, you do have freedom of speech; you just don't have freedom from the consequences of speech. This logic is eerily dictatorial and ignores the entire purpose of speech protections. Like, even in the history's most repressive regimes, people still technically had freedom of speech but not from consequences. Those leftist kids who the nazis beheaded for speaking out against the war were, by this logic, merely being held accountable. 

The two conceptualizations of censorship I described above are, 99% of the time, deployed by people who are arguing in favor of a certain act of censorship but trying to exempt themselves from the moral implications of doing so. Censorship is rad when they get to do it, but they realize such a solipsism seems kinda icky so they need to explain how, actually, they're not censoring anybody, what they're doing is an act of righteous silencing that's a totally different matter. Maybe they associate censorship with groups they don't like, such as nazis or religious zealots. Maybe they have a vague dedication toward Enlightenment principles and don't want to be regarded as incurious dullards. Most typically, they're just afraid of the axe slicing both ways, and they want to make sure that the precedent they're establishing for others will not be applied to themselves.

Anyone who engages with this honestly for more than a few minutes will realize that censorship is much more complicated, especially in regards to its informal and social dimensions. We can all agree that society simply would not function if everyone said whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted. You might think your boss is a moron or your wife's dress doesn't look flattering, but you realize that such tidbits are probably best kept to yourself. 

Again, this is a two-way proposition that everyone is seeking to balance. Do you really want people to verbalize every time they dislike or disagree with you? I sure as hell don't. And so, as part of a social compact, we learn to self-censor. Sometimes this is to the detriment of ourselves and our communities. Most often, however, it's just a price we have to pay in order to keep things from collapsing. 

But as systems, large and small, grow increasingly more insane and untenable, so do the comportment standards of speech. The disconnect between America's reality and the image Americans have of themselves has never been more plainly obvious, and so striving for situational equanimity is no longer good enough. We can't just pretend cops aren't racist and the economy isn't run by venal retards or that the government places any value on the life of its citizens. There's too much evidence that contradicts all that, and the evidence is too omnipresent. There's too many damn internet videos, and only so many of them can be cast as Russian disinformation. So, sadly, we must abandon our old ways of communicating and embrace instead systems that are even more unstable, repressive, and insane than the ones that were previously in place.

Until very, very recently, nuance and big-picture, balanced thinking were considered signs of seriousness, if not intelligence. Such considerations were always exploited by shitheads to obfuscate things that otherwise would have seemed much less ambiguous, yes, but this fact alone does not mitigate the potential value of such an approach to understanding the world--especially since the stuff that's been offered up to replace it is, by every worthwhile metric, even worse.

So let's not pretend I'm Malcolm Gladwell or some similarly slimy asshole seeking to "both sides" a clearcut moral issue. Let's pretend I am me. Flash back to about a year ago, when there was real, widespread, and sustained support for police reform. Remember that? Seems like forever ago, man, but it was just last year... anyhow, now, remember what happened? Direct, issues-focused attempts to reform policing were knocked down. Blotted out. Instead, we were told two things: 1) we had to repeat the slogan ABOLISH THE POLICE, and 2) we had to say it was actually very good and beautiful and nonviolent and valid when rioters burned down poor neighborhoods.

Now, in a relatively healthy discourse, it might have been possible for someone to say something like "while I agree that American policing is heavily violent and racist and requires substantial reforms, I worry that taking such an absolutist point of demanding abolition and cheering on the destruction of city blocks will be a political non-starter." This statement would have been, in retrospect, 100000000% correct. But could you have said it, in any worthwhile manner? If you had said something along those lines, what would the fallout had been? Would you have lost friends? Your job? Would you have suffered something more minor, like getting yelled at, told your opinion did not matter? Would your acquaintances still now--a year later, after their political project has failed beyond all dispute--would they still defame you in "whisper networks," never quite articulating your verbal sins but nonetheless informing others that you are a dangerous and bad person because one time you tried to tell them how utterly fucking self-destructive they were being? It is undeniably clear that last year's most-elevated voices were demanding not reform but catharsis. I hope they really had fun watching those immigrant-owned bodegas burn down, because that’s it, that will forever be remembered as the most palpable and consequential aspect of their shitty, selfish movement. We ain't reforming shit. Instead, we gave everyone who's already in power a blank check to fortify that power to a degree you and I cannot fully fathom.

But, oh, these people knew what they were doing. They were good little boys and girls. They have been rewarded with near-total control of the national discourse, and they are all either too guilt-ridden or too stupid to realize how badly they played into the hands of the structures they were supposedly trying to upend.

And so left-liberalism is now controlled by people whose worldview is equal parts superficial and incoherent. This was the only possible outcome that would have let the system continue to sustain itself in light of such immense evidence of its unsustainability without resulting in reform, so that's what has happened.

But... okay, let's take a step back. Let's focus on what I wanted to talk about when I started this.

I came across a post today from a young man who claimed that his high school English department head had been removed from his position and had his tenure revoked for refusing to remove three books from classrooms. This was, of course, fallout from the ongoing debate about Critical Race Theory. Two of those books were Marjane Satropi's Persepolis and, oh boy, The Diary of Anne Frank. Fuck. Jesus christ, fuck.

Now, here's the thing... When Persepolis was named, I assumed the bannors were anti-CRT. The graphic novel does not deal with racism all that much, at least not as its discussed contemporarily, but it centers an Iranian girl protagonist and maybe that upset Republican types. But Anne Frank? I'm sorry, but the most likely censors there are liberal identiarians who believe that teaching her diary amounts to centering the suffering of a white woman instead of talking about the One Real Racism, which must always be understood in an American context. The super woke cult group Black Hammer made waves recently with their #FuckAnneFrank campaign... you'd be hard pressed to find anyone associated with the GOP taking a firm stance against the diary since, oh, about 1975 or so.

So which side was it? That doesn't matter. What matters is, I cannot find out.

Now, pro-CRT people always accuse anti-CRT people of not knowing what CRT is, and then after making such accusations they always define CRT in a way that absolutely is not what CRT is. Pro-CRTers default to "they don't want  students to read about slavery or racism." This is absolutely not true, and absolutely not what actual CRT concerns itself with. Slavery and racism have been mainstays of American history curriucla since before I was born. Even people who barely paid attention in school would admit this, if there were any more desire for honesty in our discourse. 

My high school history teacher was a southern "lost causer" who took the south's side in the Civil War but nonetheless provided us with the most descriptive and unapologetic understandings of slavery's brutalities I had heard up until that point. He also unambiguously referred to the nuclear attacks on Hiroshmia and Nagasaki as "genocidal." Why? Because most people's politics are idiosyncratic, and because you cannot genuinely infer a person to believe one thing based on their opinion of another, tangentially related thing. The totality of human understanding used to be something open-minded people prided themselves on being aware of, believe it or not...

This is the problem with CRT. This is is the motivation behind the majority of people who wish to ban it. It’s not because they are necessarily racist themselves. It’s because they recognize, correctly, that the now-ascendant frames for understanding social issues boils everything down to a superficial patina that denies not only the realities of the systems they seek to upend but the very humanity of the people who exist within them. There is no humanity without depth and nuance and complexities and contradictions. When you argue otherwise, people will get mad and fight back. 

And this is the most bitter irony of this idiotic debate: it was never about not wanting to teach the sinful or embarrassing parts of our history. That was a different debate, one that was settled and won long ago. It is instead an immense, embarrassing overreach on behalf of people who have bullied their way to complete dominance of their spheres of influence within media and academe assuming they could do the same to everyone else. Some of its purveyors may have convinced themselves that getting students to admit complicity in privilege will prevent police shootings, sure. But I know these people. I’ve spoken to them at length. I’ve read their work. The vast, vast majority of them aren’t that stupid. The point is to exert control. The point is to make sure they stay in charge and that nothing changes. The point is failure. 

[julemmaes]

We Have To

Nesta Archeron x Cassian modern au

A/N: I’M SO SORRY THIS IS SOME WEEKS LATE, BUT I MADE IT, I DID IT!!!!

@darkshadowqueensrule ELLA THIS IS FOR YOU. I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS FLUFFY;) THING AS MUCH I DID PLANNING AND WRITING IT AND I HOPE IT BRINGS YOU JOY

Word count: 3,098

Cassian had so much to do that day that he cursed himself for not thinking of everything sooner. He had already bought the flowers for Nesta, who lay in the seat next to him, and the smell of the food and spices their neighbor had given him was already intoxicating him. He just hoped it wouldn't get too cold by the time they got to Azriel and Emerie's house. They were all going to be there, as they did every year, to celebrate Nesta's birthday in company, but before joining their family, Cassian had to pick up each of his four children from school.

He arrived almost immediately at the school of the youngest, Alesia and Becan, and smiled when he saw them on the edge of the sidewalk, waiting for the line of cars to flow by until theirs would appear in the parking lot.

They were only a year apart, but Alesia was the oldest, and in the last year she had grown so much that Cassian's heart ached every time he looked at her. She was starting to look like Nesta and he couldn't have been happier, even though she was losing the light blonde hair that was being replaced by the classic light brown color of the Archeron sisters.

Becan, on the other hand, looked exactly like Leka, his oldest son, and both were the exact copy of Cassian, it was as if they weren't even Nesta's children. Both of his little men looked older than they were, and they never failed to have that silly, cocky grin on their faces - as Nesta used to point out.

When the two children saw the familiar car they lit up, pointing him out to the teacher and starting to run towards him. Alesia was the first to catch up and got in right away, pulling up Becan's backpack, which at times seemed to tower over him as big as it was.

"Hello gorgeous." said Cassian turning to his children.

"Hi daddy!" they both yelled.

He reached out a hand to his daughter's head, fixing her hair behind her ear and then turned to his son, "What did you guys do today?"

Becan was arranging his backpack next to him with a frown on his face, "I had English and we got to plurals and the teacher said we're great, but I didn't understand why I can't say foots." concluded the youngest looking directly at him. Alesia beside him giggled, turning to face her father as well.

Cassian's eyes went wide with amusement, restraining himself from laughing, "What do you mean?"

"Why do I have to say feet?" the boy asked, arching an eyebrow, "Why can't I just say foots, or mouses?" then he shrugged, curling the corner of his mouth, "We'll never know."

"It's the irregulars," Alesia beat him to the punch, still looking at him for approval. Cassian smiled at her and nodded slightly, "There are no real rules, you just have to read a lot of texts."

A car in line behind them honked and Cassian huffed, turning back to the steering wheel, "Seatbelts please." he waited to hear the click of both children before driving off towards Xhuli's school, his first daughter. He turned on the radio, keeping the volume low enough to hear what his children were telling him.

He was more relaxed than in years past, oddly enough. He was always so fidgety during this time of year, and when Nesta's birthday came around, he couldn't help but remember all the times they had been young and celebrated for days on the beaches of Adriata, waiting for the sun to go down and rise the next day from over the mountains. He couldn't help but think of all the little gifts he gave her - the shells, the stones, the flowers - that Nesta had kept throughout the years to come and that still sat on the middle shelf of the bookcase in their room.

He thought about how the light from the coastal region was a gift from the gods, the way it had lit up Nesta's clear eyes every holy time, making them shine just for him.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair, focusing on his daughter's words.

"Then during the break Ella gave me a piece of her snack and I gave her a piece of mine," Alesia yawned, then nodded thoughtfully, "She's nice."

"And did you manage to do the geography test or was it too hard?" he asked her, turning into the street of Xhuli's school.

"It went well, I think," she murmured, "although I couldn't remember the name of the mountains in Illyria, what are they called?" she asked curiously, leaning forward. Cassian restrained himself from telling her to sit down in the seat, as an unnatural fear welled up inside him.

He cast a glance at Becan as well, to make sure he was buckled in properly as well.

"Myrmidons." sighed Cassian, returning his eyes to the road as his heart sped up in his chest.

"Yeah!" shouted Alesia, grunting, "The Myrmidons." then slammed a hand on her forehead dramatically.

"Are we going to Uncle Az's?" asked Becan suddenly.

Cassian parked the car under the big oak tree where he always waited for Xhuli to get out of school and unbuckled his belt, turning to face his kids, "We have to pick up Leka first, then we'll stop by mom's and then we'll all go to Az's together, yeah." he replied, reminding them that they wouldn't be eating at home today and they wouldn't have to wait for the oldest to come back with the bus. Becan nodded, yawning as well, and Alesia laughed, reaching over to stick a finger in his mouth until he had it wide open.

Cassian laughed when Becan closed his teeth on her finger and Alesia wailed, retracting her hand instantly afterwards.

The little boy unbuckled his belt, "Can I show you what I made for mommy?" he asked his dad. Cassian nodded excitedly, smiling at him, but feeling his heart tighten in his chest, "It's not beautiful, but the teacher said it's the thought that counts."

At that he snorted, because it sounded like something Teacher Aelin might have said, but the laugh was short-lived, because Becan showed him a drawing of them. It wasn't a masterpiece, as the child had already anticipated, but you could see how much effort he had put into coloring inside the lines, going over the edges with markers. He and Nesta were in the middle of the paper and holding hands, lying on what Cassian imagined were beach towels on the sand, while their four children were all in the water and playing catch.

"It's Adriata." he whispered, swallowing noisily and handing the drawing back to his son, "It's really beautiful, you've improved so much since last year."

Becan beamed all over, thanking him and settling back in his seat, bringing the drawing to his lap. Cassian turned around when he heard his new teenager's voice ring out not far from them and smiled, seeing that she was running to the car, waving her hand at him. He raised his own, waving back.

"And I made this card," the little girl said, pushing something shiny between the two front seats. Cassian wanted to laugh at the amount of pink and gold glitters on that thing. "But I don't know if mom will like this cause it's very sparkly."

"I'm sure she'll love it." he said, smiling reassuringly at his daughter through the rearview mirror. "What did you write inside?"

"That I love her and that I-" she couldn't finish the sentence, because Xhuli had flung the door wide open.

"Hello everyone!" she squealed, picking up the flowers and putting them on her legs, getting into the car. She turned to Cassian, leaving a quick kiss on his cheek and turning to her siblings right after, "Are you ready to play ride or die all afternoon?" she cheered them on with a bright smile on her face.

Alesia and Becan shrieked in delight, jerking their hands in the air and Cassian shook his head, his eyes wide, "Why do you always have to instigate them to play that awful game?" he asked her as he settled into his seat, "Someone always ends up getting hurt and crying."

Xhuli chuckled, shrugging, "It's always Tedian or Daorsa anyway."

Cassian looked at her open-mouthed, "Xhuli."

"What?" she asked equally dumbfounded, then huffed, looking ahead, "Even Uncle Rhys always says they're whiners and should learn to take jokes," she told him with a pointed look, "And he's their father."

He shook his head, running his hand over his face, "If your mother were here-"

"She'd tell me to make them cry harder probably," Xhuli chuckled again, "Come on you go, I can't wait to eat Aunt Emerie's meat pie."

"Belts." laughed Cassian, not leaving until he was sure everyone was buckled in.

The drive to Leka's high school was longer, considering he was studying downtown, but Cassian relaxed a bit as Xhuli distracted the little ones, focusing on the road.

"I got a nine in literature today," the oldest daughter said, catching his attention. Shifting his gaze to her for a moment he noticed that she was torturing her hands, playing with one of the rings Nesta left her.

He gave her a warm smile, "It's a really good grade, I'm proud of you."

"And I finished the correction before the others, so I did something for mom," she said in a more uncertain voice, starting to rummage through her backpack. He couldn't see her face, but he knew her cheeks were red. "It's crap."

Cassian really didn't understand where all the low self-esteem that seemed to be in each of his children that day was coming from. He guessed that the idea of doing something that Nesta might not like scared them as much as it had scared him in the early days of dating.

They stopped at a red light and Xhuli held out the small blue piece of paper toward him.

He opened his eyes wide again, admiring the way she'd folded each corner, where she'd decorated the still visible parts of the paper, until it was a beautiful heron in flight.

"Baby," he breathed, "I know I'm supposed to scold you for doing this at school, but-" he chuckled, shaking his head, "it's beautiful." and a relieved, very short laugh escaped her lips.

"Thanks, dad."

They arrived shortly thereafter at Leka's school, who was standing on the sidewalk and looking annoyed. When the car stopped just ahead of where he was, Becan unbuckled his seatbelt, shifting into the middle seat, but his older brother opened the passenger door, nodding to Xhuli, "Get in the back."

"Excuse me?" his sister asked, genuinely shocked.

Leka clenched his jaw and looked at her with dark eyes. Cassian knew immediately that something was wrong.

The son huffed, "I said go to the back."

"No," Xhuli shook her head, "I got here first and you're always in the front."

"Stop that right now," his father scolded them both. Then he crossed Leka's gaze and his son looked over the car, across the road.

Xhuli had a deep frown on her face, "He started it."

Cassian sighed, looking at the girl, "Could you please get in the back?" when she gaped, he clasped his hands around the steering wheel, "I know, you're already sitting in the front and it would be so much easier and faster if he just got in the back, but it's a hard day for him and-"

"It's not hard just for him," she retorted, in a tone of voice Cassian had never heard her use. She sounded like Nesta at that moment, authoritative rather than condescending.

"Please," he whispered, looking into her eyes.

Xhuli must have seen something in his gaze, because she huffed and gathered up her stuff, before walking out and giving her brother a shove. Leka didn't even seem to mind and dropped into the seat next to Cassian, quickly buckling himself in and resting his hood-covered head against the window.

"Leka-"

"Just drive, please," he murmured, not even looking at his father.

The relatively cheerful air that had been there up until that point had disappeared completely, and even when Becan had tried to get his older brother's attention, he hadn't paid any attention to him at all. Xhuli had tried to point out to him that he was being an asshole, but Cassian had snapped at her, and told her to apologize straight away.

They'd started talking about who would give their mom the gift first, and Cassian had more felt than seen, Leka tense up at his siblings' words. He had taken deep, shuddering breaths and it had taken all his strength for the man not to stop and hug his son in the middle of the road.

The second they pulled up in front of the particularly green and overgrown lawn, the three little ones hopped out of the car without even waiting for their father's permission and started running towards what they knew was their mother's gravestone.

Leka looked away from his siblings, shifting his gaze to his father and then his eyes filled with tears, but nothing fell down his cheeks, "I want to leave."

Cassian felt his heart in his throat, his hands trembling around the steering wheel.

"I want to go home, I don't want to go to the uncles," Leka continued, shaking his head, "I want to get out of here."

"Leka..." he tried again, reaching out a hand toward him. His son smacked his arm, pushing him away. Cassian closed his eyes.

"No!" he shrieked into the silence of the cockpit. His eyes were wide and he was struggling to breathe, "Why do we have to do this every year? It's sick." he spat at him.

Cassian shifted his gaze to his children, the ones who were now kneeling in front of his wife's grave. In front of the grave he took such good care of as he had taken care of Nesta while she was alive. Alesia was opening the card she had drawn at school and he saw a pool of glitter fall on the grass in front of them.

He turned to Leka, feeling his eyes water, "We need-"

"We don't need anything." he interjected again, more angrily, "You, you need this thing, because you can't seem to get away from mom."

Cassian jerked back at those words, opening his eyes even wider.

Leka seemed satisfied with that reaction because he continued, "She died five fucking years ago," he spoke through his teeth, "and you still bring me here and make me stand in front of her grave for an hour like it's going to do me any good, like talking to a fucking stone is going to help me." his son's voice cracked at the end of the sentence and tears slid down his skin. Cassian let go of a breath as his heart tightened in his chest more with every word Leka said.

"Stop it, you don't mean that," Cassian murmured, turning toward the gravestone-covered lawns, catching sight of some other relative who had come to visit a lost loved one.

"Yes, dad, I do," Leka shouted, "and being here so long, it hurts me! Just being here makes me so sick I can't breathe, and it makes me miss mom so much I can't think." a sob broke Cassian's breath, and he forced himself to look at his son. Leka was in no better condition than he was. "We come here and I can't think," he sobbed.

His face flushed, his breathing short, tears now falling without concern. He was opening and closing the fingers of his hands, looking for something to distract him from the pain so deep and inescapable that was grief.

Nesta Archeron, mother of four beautiful children and wife of the luckiest man in the world, had died in a car accident just a week after turning thirty-five. It didn't take long to realize that the news had shattered not only the family, but the entire neighborhood.

Cassian didn't remember much about the first few months after Nesta's death, always in a delirious state between anger and despair, but when it had taken shape in his head, when his body and mind had finally been ready to accept that this was now his new reality, another kind of grief, completely different from what he had experienced up until that moment, had taken over.

His children had needed him. And he hadn't been there for them.

Nesta would have been ashamed of him.

That had made him wake up somehow.

The idea of Nesta watching him, from wherever she was at that moment, and judging him for the way he had abandoned everything - for the way he had abandoned their children - had revived him and made him find his place in the lives of his daughters and sons.

And now, as he looked into his son's pitch-brown eyes, he couldn't speak, just as he had years before.

"Dad." Leka begged him in a broken voice, "Please let's go home."

Cassian shook his head, closing his eyes, "I can't."

Leka burst into tears, bringing both hands to his face to cover the grimace of pain and suffering as his body was shaken by loud sobs. Cassian placed a hand on his back, crying silently in turn, and Leka didn't take half a second before he pushed himself to him and let his father cradle him in his arms.

"I miss her so much." whispered Cassian as he wrapped his son up, "Every day."

Leka made a sound much like an animal that had just been shot before he resumed crying more loudly, "I miss mom."

His heart clenched so tightly in his chest that Cassian thought he was going to die, "I know."

"I miss mom." repeated Leka, pressing his face against his chest.

"We'll make it through, for her." murmured Cassian, clasping his hands around his jacket and bringing him as close to him as he could. He could feel Leka shaking, and he just wanted Nesta to be there with them, to help him fix the mess that was their lives. Watching Becan as he picked up the paper bird and flew it high above them, he thought he could never make it without the love of his life, but he still said, "We have to."

A/N: There’s one thing I always tell my readers, be aware of the winky faces;) I leave them anywhere I plan on destroying people’s hearts, so yeah, you’ve kinda been warned about the fact that this was NOT going to be fluff, I hope you liked it anyway, goodnight guys:)

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[fagundescamila]

Power Couple #7 (Severus Snape x Reader)

Heeeeeello again! I'm sorry it took so long again! I promiss I'll try harder to update the story faster 😅

Some reminders: english is not my native language, so expect errors and if you asked to be tagged but weren't, send me a message and I'll try to fix it on the upcoming chapters

Tagzzz: @lizlil @misselsbells06 @mitchiesdungeon @sleepiesapphicxoxo @severuslovebot

As soon as they left the room, Severus' mind started to race and he thought about what he would say and the awkward silence that would inevitably fall upon them while they walked towards the dungeons.

But again, as it always seemed to happen to his impressions about their interactions, he was wrong. 

"It's so weird to talk to all of them without feeling judged or under evaluation…" Y/N commented. 

"Your former teachers, you mean?" He asked, almost relieved by the fact that they had just so easily started a conversation. 

"Yes! They seemed weirdly interested!" 

"It happens whenever they see old students. It was like that with me, when I started teaching here, then with Lupin…"

"What do you mean by 'old', may I ask you?" She asked, pretending to be offended. 

"I didn't mean… After all, I'm..." He turned to her as they reached the corridor that led to the potions' room. 

"I know, Severus! I'm just teasing." Y/N laughed. Snape chuckled and shook his head. 

As they were about to enter the classroom, they heard some hurried steps behind them and, right after that, someone calling for Y/N. Severus recognized Hermione's inquisitive tone without having to turn around. He rolled his eyes in annoyance before facing the girl. 

"Sorry to bother, Y/N! And you too, Professor Snape…" Hermione hesitantly said. Y/N smiled at her and signalized for her to go on and Snape had to fight the urge to roll his eyes again. "But I wanted to ask you something! I was wondering if you had any recommendations on books about Defense Against the Dark Arts." 

"Oh, I see!" Y/N said, impressed by the girl's attitude. "Since you're asking, I assume you covered all the titles recommended for the school year, am I right?" Hermione confirmed with a shy nod. "Okay, so I'm going to make some not-so-obvious recommendations, since it seems you already dominate the basics, is that ok?" Another nod. "I'd say you look for Confronting the Faceless…" At that Severus couldn't help but be impressed. "Quentin's bibliography is also really good, I think you probably have already read some of his books, but it's always a good choice and…I probably shouldn't…"

"Please do! I'd love any recommendation, really!" The girl asked. 

"Alright. This will sound a bit unorthodox, but you're a clever witch!" Y/N stated and Hermione smiled proudly. "I'll recommend that you look for the Dark Arts basic theories and practices. Search for books like Secrets of the Darkest Art, Confringo Spellbok and Basic Hexes for the Busy and Vexed… That's a fair starting point, I believe." Y/N then looked intensely at the girl that seemed in shock. "Don't get me wrong! I'm only recommending this 'cause I believe in your good intentions and I know that you'll only get to read them if one of your Professors allow it. I know it sounds weird, but I have this theory that in order to fight something, you have to understand it first. Trust me, if you know how a spell works, it's easier to learn a counterspell, if you know the poison, you can make an antidote and so on!"

"I see! You're absolutely right! Thank you so much!" Hermione said, already looking forward to her next study sessions. 

"Anytime!" Y/N smiled. "Just be a little critical with those readings and keep foccused on your actual goal, these books can be very persuasive sometimes…"

"Don't worry, I'll keep that in mind! Thanks again!" She was about to leave, but refrained herself. "Professor Snape, would you… write that permission for me?"

"I'll think about it, Miss Granger." He said with an eyebrow raised, but there was something in his tone that gave her some hope and she left with a smile.

"Did I just put you in an awkward situation?" Y/N asked, her tone and smile already asking for an apology.

"You mean making an insufferable teenager start bothering me about books? As if they didn't annoy me enough?" He asked sarcastically, which made her chuckle. Severus smiled at himself, almost proud of the fact that somehow - he didn't know exactly - he seemed to always make her laugh.

"My bad… But you can always refuse to let her read those books…" She said as they entered the room. "I mean… They are a bit disturbing, but…"

"I know… But I agree with everything you said to her… It's an unusual study approach, but it works. And if there's any student I would ever allow to read those kind of books at a young age, it would be Granger…" He said sitting at his desk to write the permission. "But you never heard me say it." 

"My lips are sealed." She smiled at him, amused by the way he tried to appear cold and distant to his students when he actually cared about them. "So, those essays…" She started, leaning against the table, looking at his writing. 

"Yes, I read them and got quite intrigued by that one with the brazilian herb…" He took a moment to process the fact that she was so nonchalantly standing really close to him. It wasn't exactly intimidating, but he felt his cheeks burning, so he decided not to look at her. "I actually did some experiments of my own…"

"Really?" She sounded impressed, which made him smile a bit and raise his head to see her amused face. "Can I see?"

Severus struggled with himself, debating if he would share his experiments with someone or keep them private, as he always did. He didn't know if he actually trusted the woman in front of him or if he just wanted to impress her, but he was inclined to show her his studies. 

"You don't have to, though." Y/N was quick to say, seeing he wasn't sure about showing his work. "I mean…" But Severus didn't let her finish.

"Come." He said getting up, a smirk on his face as he led her to his private chambers behind the classroom. He held the door open for her and she entered his living room. 

"So this is where a Hogwarts' Professor stays during the school year." She said taking a look around. 

"A potion master, yes." He confirmed. "It was Slughorn's chambers before me." 

"I see! It's nice! I mean… to have a house inside Hogwarts." She trailed off.

"It is, I guess…" He went to the kitchen and signalized for her to follow. With a wave of his hand he made the water in the tea kettle start to boil. "Fancy some tea?"

"Sure!" Y/N said, with a smile. Another wave of his hand and two cups of perfectly brewed tea were ready. "Okay, you gotta be kidding me, right? You're a potion master, so you make better tea than the rest of us, mere mortals, is that so? Are you an amazing cook as well? That's so cliché, Severus…" 

Severus laughed lightly and opened the door to his personal lab, allowing her to enter before him. "I don't know about the cooking…" 

"I don't believe you." She teased. "But that's a topic for some other time, let's see what you've been working on! I just have to remind you that I probably won't understand a single thing about your experiments."

"Now I don't believe you." He teased back and allowed himself a smirk, one that she couldn't see because his lips were hiding behind the cup of tea. Severus approached one of the cauldrons that was covered by a heavy cover. "I began by reproducing the author's recipe, which turned out quite well… The effects of the herb she mentioned really perform as she predicted. The calming draught that resulted is basically as effective as the original one." Snape explained as Y/N stepped closer to take a look at the potion. He observed her features as she seemed to really pay attention and for a moment or two, he forgot to continue. "But then I figured that, since this herb can replace a large number of ingredients, it meant that, there should be a way of making this potion stronger by the use of other supplementing elements." He then took the cover from three smaller cauldrons. "I've been able to manage some minor advances, but there are some ingredients missing in Hogwarts' storage."

"Really? Rare ones?" Y/N asked, still looking intensely at the potions, amazed by his progress. 

"Some of them, yes. But mostly foreing insumes." Severus explained.

"Do you have a list? I could check the Ministry lab and storage and fetch you some of them, if they happen to be available there." She said looking up to face him, Snape raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "Severus, the Ministry has more ingredients than we care to use. I'm sure no one will even notice some of them are missing. And even if they do, as head of the department, I'm in charge of the storage." She shrugged. "It's better that you use it than to let everything rot inside the aurors' cabinets."

"In that case, I can make a list and send it over to your office." Severus said. "Thank you."

"Oh, don't thank me!" Y/N tried to suppress a smile. "It's not like it's gonna be free of charges, you know…"

"No?" Somehow, he couldn't take her seriously. 

"Definitely not." She took a sip from her tea. "You didn't think I would simply give you the ingredients, did you?" Y/N had this almost devious smirk playing at her lips as she watched Severus become more and more confused. "I mean, I have to see your list to know the actual price, but I'm guessing that at the very least, you're gonna have to buy me some drinks."

Snape almost choked on his tea. Was she really implying what he thought she was? Sooner that afternoon he was thinking about possible ways to ask her out and gave up on that idea because it seemed completely ridiculous and here she was, making it look like a joke.

"Is that so? That's how the Ministry charges for potions' supplies?" He managed to ask, trying with all his might to sound nonchalant.

"Hey, I don't make the rules…" She feigned innocence. "If you still want those ingredients, send me the list tomorrow and we can discuss the payment later." She shrugged again. "You know better, of course, but I'd say a dinner is a fair price considering you'll get to develop your researches."

"I'm sorry, did you say dinner?" He asked, already playing along. "I thought you said earlier it was just some drinks…" His sarcasm was finally being put to good use against her.

"I believe I said 'at least' some drinks. Who knows? Those ingredients can be really expensive sometimes…"

"Right…" Snape said, trying to keep the serious façade. 

"Anyway… If you still want them, send me an owl with your list and I'll see what I can do." She said finishing her tea.

"I'll think about it…" Now he was just trying not to agree with going out with her right away. 

"Of course you will." She chuckled. "I guess I'll leave you to your thoughts for the night then! It's getting late... Can I use your floo network?" Severus nodded and led the way to his living room. 

"I'll send you the list tomorrow." Severus said as he watched her step into the fireplace. 

"Good!" Y/N smiled at him. "Bye, Severus!" With that, she left his chambers in the green flames brought by the floo powder. 

Severus stared at the empty fireplace for sometime, thinking about the nonsense of everything that happened.

For some reason, he didn't seem capable to stop smiling for the rest of the night.

[the-fandom-fool]

Danny’s Terrible, Haunting Visage, Mouth Unmoving

Hi, Danny Phantom phandom. I Made This For You. I stayed up until five a.m. writing it so I hope you’re happy. 

Happy Dannypocalypse :) @horrendoushag

Word count: 2190

-------

There was a Face glowing in the darkness. It was glowing because it was on a computer screen, but that didn’t make it any less terrible and haunting.

Sam Manson grinned maniacally as she stared into the Face’s blank eyes, then looked away because they were a bit too blank. That didn’t mean she was backing out on her plan, though. She was no coward.

The printer loudly chugged out sheet upon sheet of paper, but the size of Sam’s house meant her parents would never hear. They would never know how much work she put into this, how many bribes she had to make, the blood she had to spill—and that was fine, because she didn’t want them to.

In the dark of night and the light of the wicked Face on the computer monitor, Sam snapped her scissors and set to work.

~

Morning dawned bright and early. Too bright and too early, in the opinions of some.

This “some” included one Danny Fenton, who had spent more than half the night dead and fighting other dead people who didn’t appreciate his puns. He got to bed at four a.m. and was running on two hours of sleep at most, so you could pardon him if he didn’t at first notice something amiss when he got to school.

Another reason he didn’t notice anything amiss was that his head was stuck in his locker to avoid the too-bright fluorescent lights some maniac had installed in the ceiling, and he had his eyes closed.

“Hey,” a voice said on the other side of his locker door.

Danny grunted. The voice was familiar, but he was too tired to figure out who it was right now.

“You okay, Danny?” the voice asked. It was too loud in the same way the lights were too bright, and the same could be said for the rest of the hallway. That’s another reason Danny had his head in his locker; things were quieter there.

Danny grunted again.

“Yeah, I know, you were up all night fighting ghosts. But you need to get up, man, first period is starting soon.”

Danny almost considered climbing into his locker and going to sleep then and there, but then he remembered that Mr. Lancer was the teacher in first period, so instead he groaned and pulled his head out.

He turned and was greeted by a hallucination.

At least, that’s what he assumed it was. A combination of the lack of sleep, the brightness of the light, and a hard knock on the head he got from Skulker last night.

Because everyone in the hallway was wearing his face.

Beyond his locker door, where the voice he now recognized as Tucker’s had been coming from, his own blank eyes stared back at him—or rather, at his soul. Danny blinked a few times in the hopes that the face would resolve itself into Tucker’s, but no—it stayed the same. Tucker’s body, Tucker’s beret, wearing Danny’s own terrible, haunting visage.

“Finally!” Danny’s terrible, haunting visage said, mouth unmoving, using Tucker’s voice. “Come on, we need to get to Mr. Lancer’s class!” One of the figure’s hands, Tucker’s hand, reached out and grabbed Danny’s arm. Tucker’s body started dragging Danny in the direction of the classroom.

“Wait—wait,” Danny said, clumsily forcing them to a stop. “What’s going on? What—why is everyone wearing my face?”

Tucker—it was Tucker, right?—turned to Danny and cocked his head. “Your face? What do you mean?”

Danny stared at him, face a blank reflection of the other’s, as his half-dead and half-asleep brain tried to come up with an adequate way of articulating what was going on. He looked to the side, saw several of the same face conversing with one another, and looked back. “Just… this?”

“This?” Tucker repeated. “I don’t know what you’re talking about Danny, but we need to get to class. Come on, we’re meeting Sam there.”

This time, Danny allowed himself to be dragged to Mr. Lancer’s classroom. All around him, everyone had the same Face. His Face. They were acting perfectly normal otherwise—he even saw Dash yeeting a football at Kwan, though it took him a few moments to recognize them. The only one who seemed to realize there was anything strange about this was Danny.

They reached the classroom and took their seats inside. Danny looked hopefully to where Sam was sitting, but she, too, was wearing The Face.

“Hey Danny,” she said, and was it just the hallucination or did she sound incredibly pleased with herself? “Sleep well?”

“No,” Danny said. “Do you have any idea what’s going on around here?”

“What?” Okay, no, yeah, she sounded really smug. “What are you talking about?

“The Face.” Danny made sure the capital letters were audible. “Why is everyone wearing my face?”

“Um, that’s what everyone looks like, Danny.” The expressionless eyes where Sam’s should have been gave an impression of being rolled, despite not moving at all. “Remember? After that whole thing with the Reality Gauntlet, everyone got stuck like this. And since you kind of destroyed the Reality Gauntlet, well…” She shrugged. “No going back.”

And no, yeah, Danny was pretty sure he would remember if that happened. This was just… a prank. A really wild prank, because he couldn’t imagine why the A-listers would also be in on it, or in fact everyone he’d seen at school today. But it had to be a prank, nonetheless. He wouldn’t believe otherwise unless he saw Lancer with The Face.

And speak of the maybe literal devil, Mr. Lancer chose that exact moment to walk into the room.

“All right, everyone,” said Danny’s terrible, haunting visage, mouth unmoving, using Lancer’s voice. Which sounded exceptionally annoyed today. “Get out your books. And congratulations, Mr. Fenton”—it was said with such venom that Danny would be cringing if he weren’t in shock—“for being on time for once.”

Danny thought he heard a giggle somewhere, but he was too busy staring at Lancer’s—his Face on Lancer’s body.

Vlad, then. He wouldn’t believe this wasn’t a prank unless he saw Vlad wearing The Face.

~

Principal Ishiyama had called an assembly.

Danny dragged his feet among a crowd of other Danny-Faced people, careful to avoid looking anyone in his eye. They all chattered away curiously, mouths unmoving, wondering why their classes in third period had been cancelled. Many were rejoicing the new absence of math or English or whatever from their schedule today, but Danny couldn’t bring himself to care. In fact, he had a bad feeling about this assembly.

As soon as everyone had taken their seats, Principal Ishiyama, whose normal face had also somehow been replaced by The Face, spoke into her microphone.

“Hello, students!” said Danny’s terrible, haunting visage, mouth unmoving, using Principal Ishiyama’s voice. “Today we have a special guest, who’s volunteered to talk to you all about—”

There was a physically painful moment of interference in the speakers; everyone plugged their ears. Principal Ishiyama didn’t seem to notice, for some reason.

“—so let me introduce our city’s mayor, Vlad Masters!”

Everyone clapped politely, except Danny, but including Sam and Tucker, bizarrely enough. Danny could only stare in abject horror as Vlad Masters, wearing Danny’s terrible, haunting visage, walked calmly onto the stage.

“Yes, yes,” said Danny’s terrible, haunting visage, mouth unmoving, using Vlad’s annoying voice. “Thank you, Principal Ishiyama. And hello, Casper High students! It is such an honor to be here today, teaching you all about—”

The speakers had another physically painful moment of interference that caused everyone to plug their ears, but neither Vlad nor once again Principal Ishiyama seemed to notice.

“—such promising young men and women as yourselves. In light of recent political challenges, I have truly realized the importance of educating our country’s youth in order to build a better future—”

Danny had seen and heard enough. Mostly seen. With a look to his friends on either side of him, he quietly slipped to the ground, waved goodbye, and phased through the floorboards.

He emerged on the other side as the dead version of himself. No one was around to see, since this was the basement, but better safe than sorry.

He floated around for a few minutes, glanced at a few warped versions of his reflection he managed to find in various metal things, then pulled out his phone in an attempt to distract himself.

Then he remembered that Skulker broke his phone last night. He remembered because the screen was now a bunch of shattered glass, and if you looked closely the entire phone had been snapped in half.

So instead he stared listlessly at the ceiling; imagined the new phone he would get; imagined punching Skulker in the face (did it look like his now, underneath the suit?) for breaking his phone; imagined all the new comebacks he could make while punching Skulker in the face for breaking his phone; thought about the hundreds of students and teachers above him who were walking around with his Face.

It couldn’t be real. It couldn’t.

Right?

~

After what he deemed to be a safe amount of time, Danny reemerged from the basement as a real live boy. He joined the stream of students heading for the cafeteria, since it was lunchtime now, and once there looked around for his friends.

Which is when he noticed people peeling their Faces off.

He jumped a few feet in the air—literally; he hoped no one saw—blinked, shook his head, looked again.

One by one, people’s faces were emerging. Like a skin of paper, the Face came away from their heads and was discarded in the nearest trash bin, or crumpled up and stuffed in pockets, or left to languish on the floor by a foolish few. The faces underneath The Face had expressions—real expressions, he hadn’t realized how much he missed seeing them. A lot of them looked relieved, or they were laughing, or annoyed. Real faces.

Thinking about this made him want to see Sam and Tucker’s faces, so he looked around for them again and saw them, sitting at a table together, grinning. He himself was too confused to grin, so instead he made his way over to the table without doing that.

“Hey,” he said, and they pointed their grins at him. What wonderful grins they were. “What’s going on? It… was a prank, right?”

“Oh, yeah,” said Tucker, grin becoming pointier. “It’s the Dannypocalypse.”

“The what.” Danny’s voice was as flat as the expression on The Face, mainly because he just didn’t have the energy for this right now. He took a seat next to Tucker and reached over to steal one of Sam’s fries.

“The Dannypocalypse,” Sam repeated, grin also becoming pointier. “In honor of Danny Phantom, we all wore paper masks of his face. Something weird happened with the printer, so his eyes came out blue instead of green.”

“Oh.” Danny looked into Sam’s maniacal face and felt his alive half become slightly more dead. “You… this was you, wasn’t it.”

Sam’s grin reached full pointiness.

Danny stayed silent for a few seconds, before an almost hysterical giggle wormed its way out of his mouth. “You know April Fools was two days ago, right?”

“I underestimated how much time it would take to make the masks. That’s fine, though, no one expects pranks in the days after April Fools. That just made it better.”

Danny had so many questions. Too many questions. But the most pressing, of course—“How did you get everyone in on this? I know lots of people would be willing to wear Danny Phantom’s face, but Lancer?”

Sam shrugged. “Money.”

“And what about Vlad? He doesn’t need bribes.” Danny tried to steal another of Sam’s fries, but she slapped his hand away.

“Get your own. And I won’t go into details on this one, but let’s just say blood was spilled. And it wasn’t mine.”

“…Right.” Danny considered going in for another fry, but maybe it wasn’t worth it. “And you didn’t worry that, uh…” He checked around to make sure no one was listening and lowered his voice. “You didn’t worry that someone might notice I have the same face as Phantom?”

Sam shrugged again. “Oh, come on, Danny. Everyone knows Wes Weston is Danny Phantom.”

Danny stared at her, completely blank for a few seconds, before he gave in and burst out laughing. “This… okay. This is hilarious.”

“You bet it is.” Sam slapped a hand on the table, and with it, a paper mask displaying Danny’s terrible, haunting visage. “I’m going to hang this on my wall. What do you think? Should it have a fancy golden frame?”

“Absolutely.”

As more faces peeled off around them, Danny and his friends laughed. Somewhere, Vlad was planning his revenge; somewhere, Wes Weston was tearing his hair out and probably also planning revenge; but for now, all was well in the world.

(“By the way, how could anyone see? I didn’t see eyeholes on the masks?”

“Don’t ask stupid questions, Danny.”)