#i havent read it yet I'm scared
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He was a priest - a man of god who was drowning in his sins. He was agressive and he cursed and smoked, and under the moonlight he tasted like alcohol when their lips met.
His kisses sometimes hurt. More often than not, they were rough and desperate and angry, as if it was Vash who was at fault for all those blured emotions.
Maybe he was, but Vash was selfish and priest's touch left him feverish with want.
And God was confusing, right? Always working in His mysterious ways, with invisible strings that moved the planets and the stars. And no matter how harsh He was in His teachings, He loved unconditionally.
Looking at Vash, Wolfwood understood God, believed all the songs humanity sang in His name: two eyes, two suns and two moons, two lips that tasted like acceptance.
Vash did love after him, in his long and lonely years of endless wandering. And how could he not, when everything he's done, everything he's become was because he loved?
But every time he's close to letting someone in, he feels cold hands creep in, rough and big, burned from all the cigarettes, pulling at his heartstrings, playing the same old song of promised tomorrows that would never come.
A whip to his tired soul, a cruel reminder that he who has yearned for humanity (just to be denied over and over again; a choir that never ceased to be home for new voices), was oh so human in his inability to save those who mattered.
#trigun#vash the stampede#trigun the stampede#vash my beloved#wolfwood#vashwood#i'm not okay#can someone just take my heart out#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun maximum#trigun manga#i havent read it yet I'm scared
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Can you tell us your the reasons for why you like Papyrus? (I’m sure you’ve did this before xd, but I always enjoyed rambles about Papyrus. Hope you’re well!)
oh it is 100% his whole loneliness thing. growing up i was a chronic friend group hopper all the way from kindergarten to 8th grade and then by high school that didn't work anymore so i just kinda didn't have any genuine friends for basically that entire 4 years. so hyperfixating so hard on a character who's basically completely centered around that struggle helped me feel a bit less hopeless about it. the funny thing is i think pre-undertale papyrus actually had more friends than i did back then but like its the little things
that's why this fic that i'm gonna plug again hit me so hard tbh. shit sucks when you're trying so so hard to be friendly and engage in other people and then you get to a point where you have to realize they're not at all interested in returning the favor, even if they're not overtly rude about it or anything, they just don't care to get to know you any deeper than surface level convenience and it gets real hard to not let yourself get angsty about it lmao
i do think that while sometimes i wish i hadn't been given such free internet access as a kid i'm still really lucky that i was able to be exposed to undertale when i was. it's such a unapologetically hopeful game that i'm sure it absolutely impacted the way that i think about things today in terms of optimism and the ability to turn bad situations around, and papyrus plays a huuuge part of that entire message. if it weren't for him, i'm honestly not sure if i would've had the drive to keep trying to connect with other people even when it didn't work for so long.
so tl;dr thank you funny little skeleton man for constantly reminding me that making friends is still possible even when your demeanor is frankly weird as fuck. sometimes you just gotta keep truckin until you find your people even if it takes a while
#trousled rambles#emphasis on rambles#ew this is sappy as hell who put this on my blog dont read this ewwwwwwwww#btw now that i'm in college i finally ended up with a group of friends who actually make me feel like they want me around regularly#so it really is possible i promise :> yeah i woulda liked if it happened sooner but i've never had this many friends before in my lifeee#that being said do u know how annoying it was to hear those fuckers thought i was cool in high school but were too scared to talk to me#i was wearing the same 3 black hoodies every day and used to have a keychain with enough charms that could probably be a weapon if needed#i was a LOSER just TALK TO MEEEE#i'm not gonna act like i was nearly as outgoing as papyrus bc i kept to myself a lot especially in my senior year#and that's because papyrus did not cure 12 years of social anxiety/isolation. but at least he helped me be less emo about it yknow#for a while i actually thought The Loneliness didnt effect me as bad as it did him but tbh i was just repressing that shit lmao#man when the 10 year undertale anniversary comes around we're all gonna be destroyed huh. it will definitely kill me#anyway thank u toby fox for showing 11y/o me that things could work out if i just didnt give up. also make papyus the knight pls ok byeee#oh edit one more thing i havent quiiite psychoanalyzed myself or her enough for me to be certain of this yet but#im pretty sure this is also why i am very drawn to susie in deltarune. lonely skeleton but a blunt teenage girl instead like okayyyy
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Death is a Debatable Thing-Obey Me x Reader
Summary: MC died 😱 and reincarnated as an angel, as per usual; chaos ensues. Word Count: 6.9k Warnings: Mention of Death, Cursing, Torture (mentioned, no torture happens) Michael is featured heavily in this, I just made up a personality for him, I don't play NB a lot (it makes me too sad) and I think he shows up there so if this is different to how he's portrayed there then L for me. Everyone except Luke was written as and can be read as Romantic(/platonic if you prefer)You can read Michael as Romantic, but I wrote him more Platonically.
post dividers from @saradika-graphics on tumblr (their dividers r really cool check them out if u havent fr (sorry for tagging you btw i just wanted to give credit)
"Absolutely not." You say, looking at your new found wings. "I did not die just to be reincarnated with the ugliest clothing I've ever seen."
"Would you have preferred to have been reincarnated as bare as Eve was in Eden?" The man you'd come to know as Michael. His dark skin shone in the blessed light of the celestial realm, his thick curly hair was pinned back in such a delicate fashion you wanted to unpin all the ornaments in it. Your fingers twitched at your sides.
"Isn't that against modesty rules or something...?" You paused, Simeon was an angel, he essentially had his ass out at all times anyway. Whore.
Michael stares at you weirdly, before playing with one of the loose strands of his hair, pulling the tight coil until it was completely straight before letting go and letting it spring back up again. Now you really wanted to mess up his hair. Just to annoy him.
"So anyway..." You start, sitting on a cloud that you fall through. For a moment you think you're about to pull a Lucifer and fall through the sky, but you manage to grab onto something and pull yourself up. That something is Michael's ankle and he's laughing at you, wiping a tear from ruby red eyes that shine just like that of his fallen brother.
"Stop laughing at me! Anyway, when can i go to the Devildom?" You inquire, watching Michael's face turn stern. He glares down at where you're lying, still gripping his ankle
"You're not returning to the Devildom anytime soon." He says sharply.
Your breath hitches. "Why not?! I have to let the brothers and Dia and Barbs and Sol and everyone else know I didn't die!"
"You did die. Why do you think you're an angel." Michael sighs, "and no. You're not letting them know you've returned."
"Why not?!" You repeat, outraged. "No offence though MC, but you´ve just died." "So?" You reply with indignation. "So," Michael says in a mocking tone, pitching his deep voice up high before letting it fall down the octaves once more. "You're barely able to walk on clouds or do anything yet. Letting you down to the Devildom is the equivalent of sending a baby bird into a den of lions."
"But...they'd protect me." You said softly, Michael's tone softens as well, laying a gentle hand on your shoulder.
"They'd also over-protect you, they've just lost you. I don't think you're ready for that smothering just after your death."
You nod. Michael's soft expression turns devious, "Plus, this way, you have plenty of time to think about how youre going to scare my broth-...the brothers and everyone else whilst proving you're alive...well an angel..."
You grin too. "Amazing point Mr Michael."
He plays with his golden locks again, an idiosyncracy. "Anytime" He grins before beginning to walk again, you grab onto his ankle tighter. "Oh and Mc?"
"Yeah?"
"Call me Mr Michael again and I'm shaving all you hair off. And trust me. Angel hair does not grow back." He smiles evilly. You shudder.
Well it turns out Michael is a fucking liar.
After being a little bit too bored during your second month of being an angel and first month of learning not to fall through the clouds in Michael's private garden that consists purely of clouds and a singular harp he stole from some poor Irish Deity, you go bored and snipped your unnaturally long angel hair up to your waist. You didn't want to go too short just yet.
In the time frame of a week you learnt two things.
One: Angel hair does grow back, maybe a tiny bit faster than human hair, and Two, Michael was babysitting the harp. Turns out the Deity was called the Dagda and he was visiting France on holidays for some reason, poor man, having to go to France and deal with all the French People there. Turns out he left the harp in Michael's hands, something about Fomoranians not being smart enough to see this one coming.
You just nodded and slowly backed away. Michaels red eyes followed you. He and Lucifer had to be twins.
Another day passed. The more you thought about it, the more Michael and Lucifer had to be twins. After having cut your hair to just below your shoulders, you found a piece of unnecessarily fancy parchment paper and a quill on Michael's desk
Holding the black quill in your hands you felt a sense of familiarity wash over you. Was that?....
No fucking way.
Michael was using one of Lucifer's feathers as a quill. You cackled.
After much deliberation you'd realised you could not write with a quill, but also that you were very good at ripping paper and making blotches of ink on said paper with a quill.
You decided to snoop in Michael's desk for a pen, instead you found a drawer titled, 'LUKE ONLY' in cursive letters, the label was stuck to the drawer so obviously you opened it.
Colouring books, letters written by Luke from the Devildom, Report Cards, Crayons, Drawings, and a pack of stickers were left in the drawer, a notepad lay next to it, Michael's cursive handwriting all over it 'Activities to do', it had things like 'Bowling' and 'Baking' and 'Gardening' and 'Teach him how to knit' and 'Arts and Crafts' and 'Prank Jesus' and 'Take him to Human Realm Cinema' and and anything else really. You cooed, your ivory wings rustling happily.
You grabbed a crayon and began to write.
WHY MICHAEL AND LUCI ARE TWINS one; same eyes two; both evil three; both hot four; satan is basically luci's son if you think about it and michael has blond hair too, if luci and michael are twins that means that blond hair is in the gene pool and thats how satn has blond hair even though luci has black hair five; both like wearing dramatic cape coat things six; both of them baby luke seven; they ha
"What are you doing?" Michael asks, startling you, and ruining your next point of 'they have hands', "Why is my drawer open?" He grabs the parchment from you, reads it and bellows out in laughter.
"We are twins you could've asked." He smiled, "also put the crayon back thats Red and Luke likes colouring in Teddy Bears red."
"Yessir."
You were a master conspiracy theorist.
In the end, you and Michael had decided on visiting the Devildom for 'diplomatic' reasons, but upon seeing the glint in his eyes it was probably more for 'dicklomatic' reasons seeing as he's an utter dickhead.
You had a veil covering your face, seeing as you were still kind of legally and widely believed to be dead.
You know, the usual.
You walked behind Michael, attempting to kick at the back of his knees, it never worked sadly. You took a deep breath as you reached the RAD council room doors.
Michael grabs you by your shoulders whispering into your ear. "Now remember MC im going to use you as a bargaining tool, so keep that veil on till i say so, got it?" He grins.
You nod, knowing that 'bargaining tool' in Michaelish translates to 'im bored and want to see a dramatic reunion'
Michael opens the doors.
You walk in with him but stand at the door awkwardly, steeling yourself so you don't immediately run into any of your idiots' arms.
Luke apparently had the same idea, as when he saw Michael, he let out a happy 'yip!' kind of sound similar to a puppy's and then ran from where he stood beside Simeon and Solomon into the Archangel's arms.
Michael catches him happily, petting his head as the young angel nuzzles into his hair, blabbering on about who knows what. Asmo takes a photo of it, everyone else stares with varying levels of fondness, awkwardness and 'meh'.
Sadly for you however, once Simeon is done greeting Michael, and Michael is now distracted by Luke introducing him to Barbatos who is apparently the 'bestest baker in the world!' (you could agree with that sentiment), Simeon walked over to you, his serene smile on his face.
"Hello, I'm Simeon, forgive me for asking, but do I know you? You have a familiar aura."
You shake your head.
"Oh, never the matter" Simeon smiles, "What's your name then. my friend?"
You clear your throat and put on a deep american accent, "Rupert...Pleasure to meet you...Simeon.."
"Are you sure we haven't met before?"
"Certain." You say in the same ridiculous voice.
Simeon nods, he excuses himself after Solomon calls him over, you turn to glance at Michael who is carrying a now sleeping Luke in his arms and gently stroking the boy's golden hair while stressing out Lucifer with questions. Satan looks on with a smirk on his face.
Glancing around the room you see similar scenes, Mammon and Levi are playing a game on the latter's switch, Asmo, Solomon and Simeon are talking, sometimes glancing at you. Barbatos and Diavolo were watching Michael annoy Lucifer, with both sometimes adding their input, causing Michael to laugh loudly then stiffle it, so as not to wake up the sleeping baby in his arms. Beel and Belphie were near the others but still off in their own twin world, Belphie was awake and watching Michael bully Lucifer from where his head laying sleepily on his twin's leg.
Raphael, Thirteen and Mephisto had been sent out on a top secret mission the day before, Michael had said it was because he didnt want to die and also did not want his death to be put in the RAD Newspapers, especially a picture of him that was less than flattering.
Even though everyone seemed joyous, you noticed an air of sadness, like something was missing. Looking at your old seat in the student council you see the amount of flowers set on it.
Against your better judgement, you walk towards it. Not noticing a few pairs of eyes following you.
When you reach your former desk, you notice a photo of you framed, it was you and everyone, a family photo, everyone was either in their demon, angel or reaper forms, you wore really cheap red horns with a halo you shoved on one of them whilst also wearing an old reaper robe. It looked ridiculous, you loved it.
"Enjoying yourself? Rupert.~" a honeyed voice startles you. Asmo, although, somethings in his voice, maybe anger, maybe suspicion.
"Uhhh.." You say in your fake american accent.
"I'm Asmodeus, avatar of lust.~ Are you enjoying yourself?"
"Guess so." You shrug Americanly, thankful once more the veil covers your whole face.
Asmo's eyes have some hurt in them, he seems...catty, probably because you, who he thinks is a random stranger is just standing at his dead loved one's desk.
L.
You open your mouth to say something, but no sound comes out, especially not when another familiar voice is added to the mix.
"Well hello. I don't believe we've met before. The name's Solomon. You must've heard of me."
Oh shit.
"Oh...I have, briefly! Hello Solomon, my name's Robert." You say in your fake deep american accent voice.
Asmo tilts his head, "I thought your name was Rupert?"
Shit.
"Oh. Yes" You quickly bullshit, "My name's got the hyphens, Robert-Rupert." You avoid eye contact despite the fact you have a veil covering your face that only lets you see out of it, so the sorcerer and demon can't even make eye contact with you, even if they wanted to.
This was getting awkward.
"You seem very familiar Robert-Rupert." Solomon says, you did not like that crafty smile.
"I get that a lot." You nod before walking away.
You walk towards Michael who, has a now awake but sleepy Luke in his arms, he sits on one of the sofas in the council room beside Simeon, with Barbatos, Diavolo and Lucifer facing them on the other sofa. Atleast you'll be safe from Solomon over here. As you walk, you notice Satan, Beel and Belphie have left. Either Lucifer was going to get pranked or Lucifer was going to get pranked but not as prankily because Beel unknowingly made puppy-eyes. Mammon and Levi were bickering quietly in a corner (shocking they could do it quietly) about who won the lat round of Devilio kart.
When Michael saw you approaching he waved you over, beckoning you to sit down in the empty space beside him, "This is an angel I'm currently training, their name is.....Steven."
Simeon tilts his head "I thought their name was Rupert?"
Michael clears his throat awkwardly.
You make your voice the deep horrible American accent, "My full name is Robert-Rupert-Steven...it's hyphenated."
Michael nods aggressively.
Lucifer, Simeon, and Barbatos side-eye eachother. Something was going on here.
"So, Robert-Rupert-Steven," Barbatos begins, his polite smile a little jagged at the edges, "I saw you at MC's desk earlier, how so?"
At the mention of your actual name, everyone there tenses up, Luke, thankfully is too sleepy to have realised, Michael quickly stands up with the small angel in his strong arms, knowing if he heard the conversation about to occur he would be upset, "I should probably go, give this one a walk around to wake him up a little. Simeon, would you like to come with me?"
Simeon nods, Michael and Him leave the council room, with Luke sleepily holding both of their hands and walking slowly along with them.
Now you were stuck with the Prince of the Devildom, the Scary Butler and the Scary Single-Dad. All of which haven't realised that it's you, and all of which thinking you are a random stranger.
"Well, Robert-Rupert-Steven?" Diavolo asks, his friendly demeanor the tiniest bit strange,"What captivated you to go towards MC's desk."
"Who's MC?" You decide to play it dumb. Bad decision, seeing as all three stiffen, Barbatos' being the most unnoticeable.
A very long 3 hour conversation went by, wherein, Diavolo, Lucifer, Barbatos as well as a certain Mammon and Levi who joined 10 minutes in, and an Asmo and Solomon who joined 12 minutes in talked about you, for 3 hours straight.
'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.' was an accurate reprenstation of your mental state actually.
The urge to just rip your veil off right there was almost stronger than the urge to dropkick Maddi anytime you remembered she existed. Keyword being almost.
You just about made it out of the council room with your life. Now for your master plan. Scare the absolute shit out of the Anti-Lucifer-League. That'll get them back for never listening to your amazing prank suggestion of leaving random origami swans around the house in random spots. It was genius!
Breaking into the House of Lamentation was always easy when you knew that Mammon hid his emergency house key behind the garden gnome that now you saw it....kind of looked like a really bad rendition of Michael. With its dark skin, A DnD-esque robe and, a horrible smiley face painted on it, and the worst crime of all, bright yellow, almost neon hair, and also a princess tiara.
You almost cackled.
Taking the key you slowly open the door to the kitchen and sneakily sneak in. Sadly for you, it was they key to the kitchen door to the outside of the back of the house, which meant it opened in the kitchen, and since it opened in the kitchen, you awkwardly waved at Beel, who was having a midnight feast.
Beel tilts his head. "You're the Angel from earlier. What are you doing here?"
You once more, fake your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice and say, "I have Materials for the Anti-Lucifer League as they've suggested."
You are such a good liar.
"Oh," Beel nods, normally he wouldn't let a stranger into the house, but something felt...familiar...and safe with you. "Okay then, do you know where you're going?"
"Yes."
Beel nods, and goes back to eating the pudding labelled 'MAMMONS: BEEL DONT TOUCH THESE'
After much searching, you do not find the Anti-Lucifer-League, but you do unfortunately, open the door to Lucifer's office. The place where Lucifer currently is.
He looks up immediately on guard. You are not prepared to die a second time,
"What are you-" He begins, in demon form and standing up.
You interrupt him, making 'woooooh!' sounds and waving your arms about, and in your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice, you say "Wooooh! I am the....ghost of christmas past!...Woooh! and I am..." You pause, not noticing your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice has began to slip away, and your natural one has taken its place. "I am here to tell youuuuu.....to woohhhh! Take breaks more! Woooh!....and not overwork yourself! Woooh!"
Lucifer pauses, the danger in his eyes fades into disbelief. He knows that voice. He's spent the better part of a year listening to recordings of that voice and praying to his Father for the first time since the celestial war for that voice to return to him.
"..MC?.."
You've been found out. Quickly you put your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice back on, except it's gone up 12 pitches. "Who's MC?! Haha! What a weird thing to sa-"
You don't get to finish, as Lucifer pulls your veil off. His breath hitches upon seeing your face.
Your covers been blown. All because you pretended to be the ghost of Christmas past. Great.
Lucifer immediately pulls you into a hug, arms tightening around you, as if he's afraid you'd disappear. He chuckles, wiping tears from his eyes, his frame shakes. "I thought-thought I'd lost you forever...I always thought your face was angelic...-...it's fitting."
You hug him just as tightly.
But ever the menace, after about an hour or so, you look up at the Avatar of Pride, "Say, Luci?"
"Yes, my dove?"
"Wanna help me prank the rest of them?"
"Perhaps...I might help with...some setups..." He pauses, "You are telling Barbatos outright though."
You shudder. "Of course I am. I don't have a second deathwish."
Lucifer's grip on you tightens slightly, you kiss his cheek in apology. "Sorry," You grin, "Too soon?"
"Try again in another century dear."
The next day, the first thing you and Lucifer do is travel to the Demon Lord´s Castle.
Barbatos greets you in the Entrance Hall, "Oh, Lucifer," He nods in greeting at the eldest of the brothers (second eldest actually, seeing as Michael enjoys bragging that he's older by a whopping total of 2 minutes) he turns to you, who put the veil back on, "And Robert-Rupert-Steven, Welcome to the Demon Lord's Castle, although, I must ask, why you have shown up today?"
In your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice, you accidentally, against your better judgement, and rather impulsively state; "I'm here to assassinate Dia-...volo."
A portal opens, dragging you through it, and you land in the feared rumoured dungeons. Barbatos follows gracefully, now in Demon Form. Leaving a sighing Lucifer in his wake in the Entrance Hall. He decides to just journey to Diavolo's office and discuss things related to work. Barbatos wouldn't hurt you when he found out it was you so he really had nothing to worry about. Maybe you'd finally learn to stop joking about assassinating Diavolo, especally when other Noble Demons were around at Balls.
Sadly for you, you were now alone in Barbatos' Dungeons. Now what's scarier than being alone in Barbatos' Dungeons? Being alone with Barbatos in Barbatos' dungeons.
Time to run away.
As it turns out, running away isn't very easy when magic chains pin you to the wall. In your panic, you blurt out, "You know, I'd rather you pin me to the wall haha!" in your normal voice. The fear forcing your horrible puns and jokes to slip out.
Barbatos, who had been approaching menacingly calmly with a torture device pauses so fast it gives you whiplash. (Better than getting whiplash from the whip he was previously holding.)
In some display akin to a cockroach kind of squirming about after you crush it, in your chained up state you manage to twitch enough that you were able to pinch a piece of your veil's fabric just enough that it falls to the ground.
Immediately, the magic chains fall away, strong arms catch you as you stumble. "Hi Barbs..." You say breathlessly.
Barbatos looks like he'd seen a ghost. (You were an Angel, thank you very much.) After your death he had tried and tried to pull a you from another dimension. It would never work, some force stopped him each time. (To be fair, it was probably your jealous ass. No way in Diavolo were you being replaced by yourself from another dimension.)
His bottom lip trembles, much like the rest of his body, as he leans in, "May I, my dear?" You nod, giving him your consent as he kisses you so gently, as if he feared you would break or fade away.
He murmurs apology upon apology for the fact he had no doubt frightened you, he couldn't risk a threat to Diavolo, your 'death' had left him a little...tethered and emotional.
You close your eyes and kiss him again, now noticing you're in the kitchens and not in the spooky scary dungeon.
"Wanna bake cookies? Like we always used to do?"
Barbatos nods softly. "You do have to tell Lord Diavolo you're actually alive though, little lamb."
Your eyes light up. "We could make a cake! And hide me inside it!"
Barbatos sighs, but looking at your puppy eyes, he agrees. Gently he picks a stray ivory feather from your wings, making them rustle at the touch. Devil...you looked angelic.
Baking with Barbatos was always fun, but sadly he did not agree with your attempt at throwing flour at him.
"MC?" He catches your attention, bringing an ungloved hand to caress your face, "Have I ever told you that you shine brighter than all the stars in the Devildom?"
You blush and try to cover your face when he turns away to add more eggs into your batter only to find flour on your face. That sneaky bastard! Psychological warfare is illegal. And that sure felt like it.
It was on.
Apparently it was only on for you though. Though you did get a speck of flour on Barbatos' apron. That was a win, especially if you ignore the fact that your face and apron were covered in the white powder, which you were ignoring! So take that Barbatos!
In the end, the cake was beautiful, Barbatos helped you into the cake, and cut out a you shaped hole out of the layers made.
He then helped you out again, and the Flour War began again only this time with icing.
Hiding in a cake is quite a fun experience. Especially when you can take bites of your hiding space. Yum yum.
You feel Barbatos' wheeling of you stop as he reaches Diavolo's office, he knocks on the door, and as you requested, begins to film on his DDD (you had to promise the video would never get out of your hands.)
Diavolo sat alone, Lucifer had had to leave an hour before, Beel had went on a rampage in Hell's Kitchen again apparently.
"My Lord, I feel you have been feeling down, so here is a treat." Barbatos says, "And as a special treat, I will allow you to cut it yourself." He nods at Diavolo who you can just picture has stars in his eyes as you hear the demon butler walk to a corner of the room, still filming.
Diavolo brings the knife to the cake, as it cuts into it, you grab the blade and pull it forward. Upon hearing Divaolo's confused murmurs, You peek through the tiny hole the knife made, seeing Diavolo distracted, tilting his head like a child and asking Barbatos what he should do now.
You however know what you should do now.
Quick as a flash, you shove your hands through the cake, reach for Diavolo's arms and pull him in face first.
You didn't even care if it was probably treason. Diavolo's suprised screaming and Barbatos' slight surprised chuckle was so worth it.
It was worth it for Diavolo even after 4 hours, as he held you in his big arms, whilst the both of you were still covered in cake. Barbatos, the traitor, snapped photos of this and sent them to Lucifer.
On a great note, Diavolo agreed to help prank the rest of the brothers with you, much to Barbatos' dismay. (The butler was definitely going to help you with a certain sorcerer, however)
After a night and day at the castle and a very extensive bath, you recollected your veil, and snuck out (read: Barbatos and Diavolo waved goodbye to you and gave you some left over cake for the journey home) of the castle, you began your walk to Purgatory Hall.
Michael was staying there, and you needed to tell him everyone's reactions so far.
It was also a Saturday, meaning that Solomon would be out in Sorcerer's society meetings all night and morning.
When you got there you made use of the tree there and climbed up it until you saw something in Luke's room. You paused your climbing and looked in through the window.
Two figures were in the Young Angel's room.
As Luke lay tucked in in his bed, cuddling the dog plushie that Mammon had given him at a carnival last year that he claims to have thrown away, Michael and Simeon sat on his bed, the nightlight on the boy's bedside table created a gentle glow that the two elder were using to read the storybook strew across both of their laps aloud, they appeared to be acting it out ever so slightly. When Luke finally drifted off. Both Angels kissed his forehead then dimmed the nightlight down slightly, dim enough where it wouldn't hurt the boy's eyes but bright enough that the dark wouldn't scare him if he woke up in the middle of the night, keeping the curtains open for added light.
You cooed silently, your white wings rustling.
Snapping out of it, you scale across the wall before finding the spare room Michael was staying in and breaking in.
"Hello Motherfucker." You greet the Archangel.
"You couldn't pay me to fuck your mother."
"Harsh. And here I was about to tell you my escapades..." You sigh dramatically. Michael immediately smiles sweetly. Buttering you up. You cave.
After about an hour of Michael laughing at you specifically, and then changing your contact to 'ghost of christmas past' the bastard finally fell asleep.
Feeling thirsty, you snuck downstairs into the kitchen to get a drink, and also a sharpie so you could draw a mustache on Michael's face. Not bothering to put your veil on seeing as no one would be awake anyway.
As you filled up a glass of water and leaned against the kitchen counter drinking it, lost in your own plans, mainly of who to prank nest and how to do it.
You don't hear the little pitter-patter of feet until it's too late.
"MC?" A sleepy Luke stands in the doorway in cat themed pajamas no doubt gifted to him by a certain someone, he holds his dog plush loosely as he rubs his eyes with a tiny fist.
He walks slowly towards the cupboard, pouting sleepily when he realises he can't reach it, you immediately grab his favourite mug,(the one with the red tractor on it) knowing to put milk and some sugar in it before placing it in the microwave for 2 minutes.
Luke walks over to you still half asleep, resting his face on your side, you bring him in for a hug. "Simeon said you went to a happy place after you left, he always got sad when I asked when you were coming home..."
You bite your lip and speak softly, "My flight got delayed for a little while," You lie. Luke didn't need to know you died, Simeon hadn't told him in the best of ways to shield the young boy, that worked out in your favour.
You catch the microwave before it beeps, taking the warm milk out and stirring the hot-spots out of it before handing it to Luke. With his teddy now in the crook of his elbow, he sleepily took the mug before putting his tiny hand in yours.
"C'mon Luke, let's get you back to bed." You say softly, he nods tiredly.
"Will you tuck me in? And read me a bedtime story?" He yawns quietly.
"Of course."
After closing his curtains and tucking Luke in, he snuggles up to you and you read him a bedtime story, after drinking his warm milk, he falls asleep quite quickly, so do you.
A mistake, really. Seeing as in the morning when Simeon comes in to wake the small angel up and sees you there he lets out a shriek very out-of-character for him.
A shriek which wakes both you and Luke up.
Luke smiles toothily, "Oh Simeon! MC came back last night! Did you not see?"
Simeon collects himself, "I must've been asleep Luke, why don't you get dressed then come down for breakfast? Michael and I made pancakes. M-MC, why don't you come downstairs now?"
Luke nods and gets up dutifully.
As soon as you leave the room and Simeon is sure you're both out of the earshot of Luke, he pulls you into a hug which you return.
"I thought I'd lost you.." He breathes out softly.
"Me? C'mon Simmy...you know I'd never let death keep me." You laugh, he laughs breathlessly.
"I suppose not...." He captures your lips in a soft innocent kiss before leading you downstairs, hand-in-hand.
When Michael sees the two of you he offers you a pancake, far too casually for Simeon's taste.
Simeon looks between the two of you and glares at Michael. "You knew about this."
"Haha! Funny story actually! I need to go help Jesus! He's gone and ventured into another desert!" Michael laughs nervously before booking it, only coming back when Luke appears, knowing then he's safe from Simeon's wrath....
....for now.
You took out your super serious napkin and crayon that you stole from Diavolo (read: Diavolo gave you) and crossed out Simeon's name.
Your list was now as follows:
Purgatory Hall Simeon Solomon House of Lamentation Mammon Levi Satan Asmo Beel Belphie
For Satan and Belphie, you could knock out two Anti-Lucifer-League Birds with one stone. It felt a little mean to prank prank Levi and Beel...Mammon and Asmo were debatable, but you were going all out on Solomon. That'll teach him to turn you into a sheep that one time 2 years ago.
After careful deliberation and planning, (20 seconds of thinking.) You'd decided to sneak into the Sorceror's society and jokingly attempt to assassinate Solomon, and maybe fully assassinate Maddi if she was there. Not maybe, definitely.
Veil over your head, you walked in, when the sorcerer guards stopped you, you just pretended to be Michael then walked further in. Apparently they were terrified of the Archangel. Damn this society needs better sorcerers securitying it.
After stealing schedules you realised Solomon would be in a meeting right now with a bunch of no names. Oh well.
You crept into the meeting and attempted to plunge the butter knife Barbatos' gave you from the castle kitchens specifically for this in his neck, knowing he'd dodge. "This is for the Sheep Potion you Rat Bastard!" You screech like a Bean Sídhe. After half a millisecond of shock and slight anger, Solomon realises who it is behind the veil, laughing he grabs the arm you're holding the butter knife in and drags you into his lap, gently ripping the veil off of you and giving you a peck on the forehead, before he turns to the shocked and slack-jawed sorcerers that looked older than he did. "Sorry all, my adorable partner," He puncuates the word partner by pulling you closer to him, "missed me a little too much. and has-" He kisses you on the lips passionately for a moment, leaving you very much breathless and him very much chuckling, "-strange ways of showing their affection."
Bastard.
Some time into the meeting you whisper, "How are you not more shocked?"
"Well Robert-Rupert," He whispers teasingly back to you, "Remember that binding spell we did back when you were alive? It never broke. I knew the moment I saw you."
Your heart stops. "Did you tell anyone else?"
"I debated telling Asmo, but I suppose you wanted to on your own terms." He teases.
"I should've tried to stab you with a sharper knife."
Solomon laughs, "Oh and MC my love?"
"Hmm?"
His eyes glint predatorily, "You look absolutely ravishing as an angel. I can't help but want to corrupt you..."
You bury your face in his chest to hide your blush.
Bastard.
On the bright side, now a rumour that Solomon the Wise and Michael the Archangel are secret lovers has spread around the Devildom. You're counting that as a win.
Purgatory Hall Simeon Solomon House of Lamentation Mammon Levi Satan Asmo Beel Belphie
After your encounter with Solomon, you'd decided learning to just hide your angel form was the best course of action. Luckily it was fucking easy and you could've done it ages ago. Strange how Simeon and Luke never mentioned it....meh. You're pretty sure Luke just thought Michael thought you were super cool so he made you an angel. You weren't telling him anything otherwise.
´Satan and Belphie watch your fucking backs.´ was the pedal note of all your thoughts currently, you´d snuck back into the House of Lamentation, thankfully Beel was not in the kitchen, he was at Fangol at this hour.
Walking through the halls stealthily, you heard whispers as two sets of feet seemed to enter the room at the farthest end of the hallway. Lucifer´s room.
You fucking caught them.
No time to be caught in Lucifer´s room, seeing as if you were there long enough and Lucifer caught you, you would not be leaving for a good while.
So you crept up to the attic, the official Anti-Lucifer-League headquarters, you climbed the pillars to get on the roof and you waited.
Sure enough, ten minutes later, snickering could be heard coming up to the attic. Satan opens the door, letting Belphie in, both brothers in various fits of sniggering as they walk into the room.
"He'll never see this one coming!" "This is our best one yet."
From your place on the attic ceiling, you spot Lucifer filming on his DDD from the shadows of the doorway. Of course he found out about this.
"Of course it's our best one yet!"
You swing down off of the ceiling beam, swinging lightly upside down. "And you didn't invite me?" You pout.
Satan and Belphie scream, clutching onto eachother, before noticing that it's you and running to pull you down and clutch onto you instead. You notice Lucifer chuckle and put his DDD in his pocket before leaving. Traitor.
You cuddle into your two Anti-Lucifer League Brethren, maybe this wasn't so bad. (Of course it wasn't, you loved your idiots.)
Safe to say, you didn't leave the attic for a long time. Apparently people need time to process that you're not actually dead. What madness.
House of Lamentation Mammon Levi Satan Asmo Beel Belphie
You had long unentangled yourself with a sleeping Belphie and Satan, making sure to leave a:
it wasnt a dream dont worry lads im alive.
note on their chests just in case.
Sitting in the attic with your napkin and crayon in hand, you ripped the Purgatory Hall part off of it and used the back of it for that note, you scanned through the list. You should save your First Man for last, so your next options were Beel, Asmo and Levi.
Seeing as you've shown yourself to Belphie, it's only natural your gentle giant is next.
Watch your fucking back Beel. Literally
Speaking of, it's been a few hours, Beel should be coming back from Fangol practice any moment now.
As was routine at this point, you crept through the House of Lamentation's halls and quickly ran into Beel and Belphie's shared bedroom.
As Beel walked into the room, his Fangol bag slung across his chest and a pile of after Fangol snacks in his hands, you braced yourself, made a run for it, anf landed right square on his back, arms around his neck to keep from falling.
"Oh hi MC!" Beel hummed cheerfully, before his eyes widened and he dropped his snacks. "MC?!"
"Hi!"
Quick as a flash, Beel maneuvers himself in 'dying cockroach you in Barbatos' dungeons part two' and grabs you into his arms.
"I thought you died..." He said, smelling your hair as he cuddled you.
"I did. I just came back as an angel."
"Really?" His breath hitches, "Can I see?.."
You take a deep breath and your wings and halo pop out, he strokes them gently.
"You're beautiful..." He whispers, enraptured...."I think...out of all of Father's creations over the years since the celestial war...you're the most precious...."
He speaks softly, always the gentle giant, the moment lasts for just a moment, before the moment, like all moments do, has passed. Beel's stomach rumbles and you giggle.
"You should eat your snacks, Beelie.."
"They always taste better when we share." He nods seriously.
House of Lamentation Mammon Levi Satan Asmo Beel Belphie
Levi or Asmo? You bit your crayon in thought then immediately made a face. Crayons did not taste nice.
Speaking of things that did not taste nice, you remembered that one time you tried to eat Levi's controller because you were bored.
Levi it was!
You had to time this perfectly, waiting in the shadows until Levi went down to get a snack, you snuck into his room, saying the answer to his password out of pure habit, before sitting on his gamer chair and maneuvering it in such a way he would not be able to see anyone on it from the door.
When Levi walked into his room, a bag of crisps in hand, he took a few steps before you swung around "Boo!" and he screamed. Dropping his crisps.
After convincing him you were infact not a ghost (Unlike Lucifer's), you sat with him in your arms, watching anime, and getting caught up on the new episodes released.
You cuddled up to him in his bathtub that night. You grinned evilly. This gave you an idea.
House of Lamentation Mammon LeviSatan Asmo Beel Belphie
It was no secret that Asmo bathed a lot. Funfact, Angels can hold their breath for 30 minutes!
As Asmo was busy picking out which pajamas he wanted to wear after his bath, you tiptoed behind him and slowly got in his bath, hiding under the bubbles.
It took a total of five minutes before Asmo closed the door to his bathroom and got into his bath, this was your chance! Reaching out, you grabbed his foot and pulled him under.
He screeched, when got back above the surface of the water, he grabbed your hand and pulled you over.
He squealed this time, hugging you tightly.
"Oh MC darling!~ I thought you were...well never the matter~...." He punctuated each word by kissing your face all over, leaving you squirming in his grasp out of embarassment. "How naughty!~ Sneaking into my bath like that...~...not that you arent always welcome my lovely!~"
"A-asmo," You say, your clothes soaked, though you couldn't find yourself caring. "Asmo, I love you..." your voice is soft and the Avatar of Lust coos.
It was a nice night.
Time for your final victim. Your First Man. Feeling nice, you decided not to do something too mean.
Painstakingly, you made a trial of grimm from the front door to your First Man's room, more specifically; to his bed. The plan was to hide behind the door and jumpscare him while he was busy collecting the grimm.
Unfortunately for you, seeing as you weren't sure when Mammon got off his modelling shift, you'd finished far too early, and since you and Asmo were up the entire night, you were quite sleepy.
Surely a little 5 minute nap wouldnt hurt?
You woke up hours later to a sobbing Mammon on top of you, cuddling you in his arms like his life depended on it. It seems you'd falled asleep on his bed, more specifically in his nest.
In the nest you would normally sleep in while alive. (While Human technically, seeing as you are alive, just not human.)
You bring a hand to his snowy locks, he sobs harder. Like his brother, kissing all over your face softly, "Thought I lost ye' forever Hum'n" he gasps for air, his sobs quieting down, "Though' you were gone....I prayed ev'ry nigh'...." he says, voice barely above a whisper as he strokes your cheek, looking into your eyes. "I prayed ta Fath'r ev'ry nigh' since ye' died...that he'd bring ye' back te me...."
"And he did..." You say just as softly, bringing your hand up to wipe the tears from his eyes, sharing a soft kiss with him. As always, your greedy lovable bastard would want more, and you'd want nothing more than to give them to him.
And the next day when you told Michael you'd be staying in the Devildom he cheered, then told you to include him in this 'Anti-Lucifer League business' because it 'seemed fun'.
Wow. Now you knew where Satan got it from. Poor Lucifer, he just barely got away from Michael in the Celestial realm, and now he has to deal with Michael 2.0 in the Devildom.
Satan and Michael really were kind of similar....maybe it's a good thing they've only met in passing.
Moral of the story kids. Death sucks, don't do it. If you do do it, reincarnate. Bam! Problem Solved.
This is the longest ever fic I've ever wrote and probably does not make a lot of sense so I apologise for that. I also apologise for any ooc behaviour i'm still learning how to write characterisation😔✊
also i love thinking of Michael being a father figure to Luke and its very obvious
#obey me imagines#obey me shall we date#obey me x reader#obey me headcanons#obey me mammon#omswd#obey me mc#obey me leviathan#obey me lucifer#obey me barbatos#obey me diavolo#obey me levi#obey me asmodeus#obey me satan#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me luke#obey me simeon#obey me solomon#obey me michael#mammon x reader#lucifer x reader#levi x reader#satan x reader#asmo x reader#beel x reader#belphegor x reader#diavolo x reader#barbatos x reader#solomon x reader
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୨୧┊ 𝐈𝐈. 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒. ( charles leclerc )
ꖛ ─ you’re reading part two ∿ part one ∿ part three
✧.* pairings ─ charles leclerc x fem! singer! reader
✧.* genre ─ social media au ⨾ fluff & chaotic
✧.* summary ─ in which your best friend George gets fed up with watching you and Charles secretly yearn for each other while claiming to be just friends. so, when you lose a bet to George, he takes control of your social media accounts for 24 hours, using the opportunity to help you make a move on your crush.
✧.* face claim ─ suki waterhouse
✧.* warnings ─ some suggestive jokes, other than that this is just as chaotic as the first part
✧.* mily’s thoughts ─ part three is coming soon! hope you enjoy mwah <3
˗ˏ ➶ IMESSAGE ➜ w/ charles <3 . ✧ ˚
y/n: hey charles i really don’t want to be a bother but i quickly wanted to apologize for the insta post that was made about us a few hours ago!
charles <3: Hey, don’t worry, you’re not a bother! :) And I don’t really care about the post.
y/n: wait
y/n: you don’t care?
charles <3: Nope, I thought the whole flirting thing (the comments etc) was just a joke between friends, yk. At first I was a little confused, to be honest, since we don't usually joke like that, but I figured it was just the way you interact with people you feel more comfortable with!
[ seen 1:29pm ]
˗ˏ ➶ IMESSAGE ➜ w/ princess george . ✧ ˚
y/n: i’m so scared
princess george: WHAT DID HE SAY
y/n: he thinks it was a flirty joke between friends
princess george: HUH? So I did all that painfully obvious flirting for nothing💀
y/n: AHA
y/n: SO YOU DID DO ALL THESE THINGS TO GET ME TO CONFESS TO CHARLES.
princess george: Someone had to do it! I'm sick of watching you guys literally be in love with the other and still claim to be "just friends" 🤓
y/n:🧍♀️
y/n: that isn’t the point now
y/n: the point is WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY
princess george: YOU HAVENT REPLY YET??
y/n: NO I LEFT HIM ON READ BC I PANICKED IDK
princess george: i'm going to have to call carmen to give you some girly advice if you don't start getting bold💀
y/n: OKAYOKAY BUT WHAT SHOULD I SAY
y/n: HURRY UP HES BEEN ON SEEN FOR FIVE MINUTES NOW
princess george: IDK ASK GOOGLE
y/n: GEORGE WTF
princess george: DONT ‘GEORGE WTF’ ME! YOU KNOW I DONT WORK WELL UNDER PEER PRESSURE
y/n: you’re a racing driver💀
princess george: your point?
[ seen 1:37pm ]
princess george: hello???
[ seen 1:38pm ]
y/n: I ASKED GOOGLE LIKE YOU TOLD ME TO AND THEY DIDNT DO SHIT
y/n: they had the audacity to correct me too
princess george: 💀💀
[ seen 1:40pm ]
˗ˏ ➶ IMESSAGE ➜ w/ charles <3 . ✧ ˚
y/n: you think it was a joke?
charles <3: Well yeah
charles <3 I mean
charles <3: It couldn’t have been anything more
y/n: what if it was tho?
y/n: hypothetical ofc!!!!
charles <3: Well I honestly don’t know
charles <3: If we are speaking hypothetically, I think I would be flattered.
y/n: and if we aren’t speaking hypothetically?
charles <3: Then I would probably still feel flattered.
charles <3: Y/n? Hello?
y/n: SORRY MY PHONE FELL DOWN
charles <3: LMAO
charles <3: Does that mean those flirty jokes weren’t just jokes?
y/n: well.. to me, they’re not jokes, but i’m not the one who made them. i wasn’t supposed to tell you yet but i’m getting sick of george so idc
y/n: i lost a bet to him and had to hand over my main social media accounts for 24 hours, meaning all the comments/posts you saw from my main accounts were made by george😭
charles <3: That explains why I saw your private accounts constantly fight with your main accounts in random comment sections💀
y/n: yeah he was really messing with me
y/n: i’ve gotten lots of angry mails from my pr team
charles <3: I can imagine😭 It's only fair that you get back at him.
y/n: oh absolutely.
charles <3: Can I ask a question though?
y/n: sure!
charles <3: Is your newest single actually about me?
y/n: yes it is. i’m sorry you have to find out like this but i really like you, like a lot. i’ve liked you for a while now but i was too scared to talk to you about it because i thought you don’t feel the same.
charles <3: That’s not true
charles <3: I actually do feel the same, and I literally had the same dilemma!
y/n: WHAT
y/n: YOU ALSO LIKE ME??
charles <3: YES!! I really like you :)
y/n: SINCE WHEN
charles <3: Probably since the day I first met you
y/n: no way i thought you hated me back then💀
charles <3: No don’t worry I didn’t😭 My brother Arthur said I always have this certain look to myself when I meet new people. He said I tend to look a little “off” when I’m overwhelmed, so that was probably it lol
y/n: oh yeah, george said the same about you
charles <3: Aha very nice of him💀
charles <3: Btw I don’t want to make you uncomfortable by asking this, but what are we now? I’m just a little confused
y/n: how about we take it slow and start going on little dates? like trying this whole thing out and seeing if we can actually be more than friends.
charles <3: I had the same in mind :)
charles <3: And George still has control over your main accounts?
y/n: yep for the next 2-3 hours :’)
charles <3: alright, ready to get back at him?
y/n: ABSOLUTELY
[ seen 1:59pm ]
˗ˏ ➶ IMESSAGE ➜ w/ princess george . ✧ ˚
princess george: Y/N DID HE REPLY YET?
[ sent 1:43pm ]
princess george: Y/N?
princess charles: HELLOOOO
[ sent 1:44pm ]
princess george: CMON I CAN SEE YOURE ONLINE
[ sent 1:46pm ]
princess george: DONT BE SO CRUEL
princess george: PLEASEEE
princess george: I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SAID
[ sent 1:50pm ]
princess george: UGH fine
princess george: Guess my finger slipped again🙄🙄🙄
[ sent 1:55pm ]
yourusername
liked by danielricciardo, georgerussell63 and 8,379,158 others
yourusername save a horse, ride a char- COWBOY
tagged: charles_leclerc
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user375 HELP ME WHAT
user121 girl you gotta stop being horny on the internet😭
georgerussell63 Oh. My. God.😲😲 Y/n this isn’t your private account
user54 you’re acting very sus there mate
user488 well someone needs to get laid💀
user224 simp of the day🫵
pierregasly i can’t watch this
yourusername then look away🤷♀️😂
user865 you’re so relatable
user308 cowboy charles😍😍
urusername_alt🔒 YOU DID NOT
yourusername I did xx
urusername_alt🔒 DELETE THIS RN
yourusername Nopee
carlos55sainz I’m so confused
charles_leclerc my lap is free🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️
yourusername WHAT
urusername_alt🔒 wait- fr?🤭🤭
landonorris pause. stop right there.
yourusername | 📍 paris, france
liked by senelagomez, carlos55sainz and 21,488,321 others
yourusername feels good to finally have this account back
view all 170,325 comments…
zendaya stunning as always✨
liked by yourusername
user965 mother is mothering🧎♀️🧎♀️
user233 does a stronger word than mother exist??
user355 @/charlesleclerc you better wife her up before i do
user212 there’s no way they’re actually together, now that she revealed that george was behind all those comments/posts
user593 i was NOT prepared
charles_leclerc come to monaco, we miss you
landonorris who’s we
yourusername @/landonorris stfu you salty bitch, you’re just jealous i didn’t visit you last year💀
charles_leclerc just added to their story !
∿ taglist ─ @81astri @ch3rryknots @cs55version @fdl305 @remuslupinsbtch @kissesandmartinis @teenagedreams-cl @headinthecloudssblog @mrsmaybank13 @glai1023-blog @luvrrish @hevburn @charlespear @bibissparkles @siovhanroy ( my taglist if you want to get tagged in my works )
don’t forget to like, comment & reblog (it’s very much appreciated <3).
© milaeth | 2023
#·˚ ༘ ☕️ — mily’s writings !#formula one#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#formula one fanfiction#formula one x reader#f1 driver imagines#f1 driver x reader#f1 driver x you#formula one x y/n#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x y/n
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lucky | lee jihoon
SYNOPSIS. in which jihoon realises just how lucky he is to have you. PAIRING. lee jihoon x gn!reader GENRE. fluff, established relationship WARNINGS. none, jihoon is just deeply whipped and falling hard for reader (🫵) WORD COUNT. 1.3k
notes: ive been addicted to a new song recently called lucky by crying city n wanted to write it abt w someone. i havent written for jihoon in a while so enjoy some domestic jihoon brainrot :')
Jihoon had always told himself to be patient when it comes to being with you. He likes it this way𑁋the steady and slow incline of his feelings towards you. It's like a delicate flower in bloom, or watching a sunrise over the horizon, each day bringing a bit more light and warmth to his heart.
You like it this way too. Because when time seems to be going by fast around you, it only seems to slow down when you're with him.
He likes the way he seems to discover something new about you every time you went out on a date. It can be a distant memory from the past that you remember that reminds you of him, or something miniscule like a quirk when your eyes grow big when you're amused or when you reach for the nearest object to grab when you're excited. In most of these cases these days, it's the sleeve of his shirt or his wrist. Jihoon really likes it when you do that.
And amidst the things he notices about you, he doesn't dare to realise the subtle shifts of himself. Like the way he now anticipates your laughter before it even escapes your lips, or the way his smile grows just a little bigger each time he gets to walk you home with your arm comfortably wrapped around his. Or maybe when his gaze seems to linger a little longer when looking at you as if trying to imprint every detail of your face into his mind, or when the thought of your absence becomes an ache in his heart that he can't ignore.
Just like right now.
Jihoon recognises that he's no longer just patient; he's become truly invested in your life, your happiness, just you. You're the first person he's ever truly liked, and he ponders whether this feels right or not𑁋to miss you this much it feels merely incomplete to be home alone right now, because he'd much rather be with you. The thought scares him a little. He's never imagined himself to feel this way.
It isn't due to uncertainty about his feelings; it's more about the vulnerability that comes with caring so deeply for someone. The idea that his happiness has become so entwined with yours is both thrilling and overwhelming that even his members seem to notice a particular glow to him lately. But then he remembers just how easy it is to be Lee Jihoon around you. Not just Jihoon. Lee Jihoon. Himself, and nothing more.
What he feels isn't just fleeting𑁋it's real, it's profound, and it's worth embracing.
Jihoon trudges to his bedroom, placing himself down at the edge of his bed with his thumb hovering over your contact. He contemplates sending you a goodnight text, but it feels lackluster to send such a simple message when there's so much more to be told. He could also send you a paragraph for you to read, but that also doesn't feel enough.
He wants to see you instead.
With a determined yet slightly nervous exhale, Jihoon taps on your contact and selects the video call option. His heart quickens in an instant as the call connects after a few rings, and he's quickly greeted by your surprised face.
"Hoonie?" You call to him, and Jihoon swears his heart melts into goo each time you call him that.
"Hey," he greets you warmly, noticing how you were scrambling to prop up your phone properly. "I'm... not interrupting anything, am I?"
You shake your head, offering a soft smile. "No, not at all. Are you okay? You usually don't call."
Jihoon bites his bottom lip nervously because you're right. He's always been more comfortable texting than calling, but there's just something about this moment right now that makes him want to change that fact, especially if he gets to see a glimpse of your face for one second.
"Yeah, I'm okay. I just... wanted to see you," he admits, a shy smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
You lift an amused brow, finding the smile to your lips hard to resist. "Shouldn't you be asleep by now? You have work in the morning with the guys."
Jihoon runs a hand through his hair sheepishly. "I know, I know. But I... I wanted to see your face."
Your face softens. "Well, I'm glad that you're here. You can get ready for bed with me."
Jihoon's smile grows, and he shifts slightly on his bed, propping himself up against the pillows. The warmth in your voice is enough to make his heart flutter, and the idea of sharing this domestic moment with you, even through a screen, feels comforting. It makes him imagine himself unwinding for bed with you without a phone call separating the two of you.
"I'd like that," he replies, gaze fixed on you bringing your phone into the bathroom. "It's been a long day."
He listens to the sounds of running water as you wash your face, and seeing your pretty bare face gives him all the more reason to hope that one day, he'll be able to cherish it in person. It's as if he's there with you, a silent presence in your room, a part of your everyday life.
He stands up as well, bringing you along into his own bathroom. Jihoon sets his phone on the counter, giving you a view of his bathroom as he goes about washing his face as well. You shake your head with a smile as you watch him dry his face, already standing with your toothbrush and toothpaste in hand, silently gesturing to him once he catches sight of you.
Jihoon chuckles softly and he picks up on your unspoken cue. He reaches for his own toothbrush and toothpaste, mirroring your actions as you both start brushing your teeth together, occasionally exchanging shy glances here and there and letting the domesticity of the moment take over.
Once you're both done, you watch as Jihoon rinses his toothbrush and puts it back in its place. He dries his hands and faces the phone's camera with a soft smile, seeing that you were already walking back to presumably your bedroom. He does the same as well, collapsing onto his bed and settling under his duvet, the soft glow of his bedside lamp casting a warm light on his face. You've also settled back into bed on your end, the dim lighting in your room making you appear extra cozy under the covers.
As you both settle into bed, he can't help but imagine a world where he's right there with you. It's a thought he often entertains: a dream of being able to hold you close, to feel your warmth against his for the first time. He imagines being able to live that quiet life with you.
One day, I'll hold you like this for real, he thinks.
There's a yawn that leaves your lips that Jihoon overhears through the phone, and it tugs at his heartstrings in the sweetest way. It's a small, ordinary sound, but to him, it's a reminder of the most mundane and heartfelt moments you've shared. As he continues to watch you, he notices the telltale signs of weariness in your eyes, and he can't help but feel a twinge of protectiveness.
"You should rest," Jihoon suggests, voice carrying the same warmth he feels.
You give a small pout. "I don't really want to sleep just yet."
"I'll fall asleep better knowing you're getting rest too," Jihoon insists gently.
Your pout turns into a contemplative look at his words. "You've... got a point."
There's a few moments of silence that passes, and Jihoon takes it as an opportunity to watch the way your features gradually soften before finally relaxing.
"Okay." You let out a sigh, reaching out to readjust your covers before giving Jihoon one final look through the phone. "Promise me you'll get some rest too?"
Jihoon only nods. "I promise."
You grin sleepily. "Sweet dreams, Hoonie."
"Sweet dreams, Y/N." I hope you dream of something beautiful tonight.
The call stays connected for a few moments before Jihoon finally gives in and ends the call. He lets out a breath he feels he's been holding in for a while as he lays there. The glow of his phone's screen slowly fades away, leaving his room in peaceful darkness. He shifts under the covers, getting comfortable and closing his eyes.
And in that moment, it hits him just how lucky he is have you.
taglist (open) ʚɞ @enhazen @haowrld @ylliris-hanniehae @icyminghao @slytherinshua @jeonride @lockburn-castle @vrnism @weird-bookworm @mhlsymlysn @ryuwonieebae
#kflixnet#k-labels#seventeen imagines#seventeen fluff#seventeen x reader#woozi imagines#woozi fluff#woozi x reader#lee jihoon imagines#lee jihoon fluff#lee jihoon x reader#svt imagines#svt fluff#svt x reader#svt
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I've had a series of thoughts over on Twitter today and I thought I would share. They are mostly about episode 4 so, spoilers if you havent seen it yet. I'm happy to hear everyone else's opinions..
-Do you think Edwin ever realized exactly what Charles would do to protect him? He's thrown him thru mirrors and fought ghosts but does he know the full extent? The scene with the Night Nurse is a prime example. I think he knew but not to this extent. He trusts him to always have his back, and he's seen him fight off ghosts and worse. But, there has never been a direct threat like the Night Nurse.
-Edwin talks about knowing that Charles' father wasn't a nice man. Since he was from the early 1900s, its safe to assume his definition is different from Crystal and Charles. What is his definition of bad? If you read a lot of history, it wasn't uncommon to hit your kids. I'm going to assume Edwin was a normal child to his parents, so he would have experienced this. So, if he is saying he knew Charles' father was a bad guy...
-Edwin was never afraid of Charles, he was afraid FOR him. From the moment Charles dropped to the ground until he fell to his knees and broke down, Edwin was not scared. He wanted to comfort Charles, he wanted to help him. He didn't know what the Night Nurse did, he just knew it broke Charles
#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#save dead boy detectives#renew dead boy detectives#my thoughts
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i've thought about this One Piece but if There Were Pokemon AU a lot and I wanted to share it because I'm so normal about it. Its literally just one piece if pokemon also existed in the world. This all started because I just like giving fictional characters pokemon teams sometimes because it's fun. I started giving the straw hats Pokemon teams and then I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was still reading Drum Island when this all started (I dont think I had even met Chopper yet LOL)
Most of these are a few months old at this point (w the exception of Luffy and Law that I drew today) but these are a few doodles I did of some of the straw hats with their first pokemon when they were still kids :] (I'd like to mention not all of them have a specific like "how they met" story, but I have ideas for who their first pokemon were at least)
Luffy's first pokemon was a Slowpoke that he received from Shanks. It's a Pokemon he initially thought was lame before getting gifted one.
Zoro's first pokemon was Pawniard. Pawniard are very territorial and Zoro wandered into it's territory and pissed him off. Zoro was so sour about losing so he kept finding his way back somehow out of pure spite (he would probably just wander until he found it again) and he kept fighting him over and over until he won. After he won though, they were inseperable. (Pawniard is just as bad with directions as zoro is btw)
I imagined in this AU Ohara was one of the few places that figured out how to revive fossil pokemon. Robin happened to dig up a claw fossil one day and they revived it for her. She tried to teach him how to read.
Franky initially found his Zigzagoon in the trash. He scared him away, but Zigzagoon came back and headbutted him to get back at him. (cuz he's petty) He kept coming back and it just became a game to the two of them. They quickly became besties.
Nami's first pokemon was Purrloin! Purrloin was stealing tangerines from the orchard and Nami caught her in the act. They became partners in crime.
Sanji's first Pokemon was Bounsweet. She was hungry and he fed her. She was very grateful so she stuck by his side.
Ace's first pokemon was Scorbunny
Law's first pokemon was Mareanie
I do have others ive thought about but I just havent drawn but I will still share though if you wanna read
Chopper's first pokemon was Happiny. He received it from Hiriluk.
Brook's first pokemon was Fuecoco
Jinbe's first pokemon was Poliwag
Usopp's first pokemon was Wimpod
Sabo's first pokemon was Piplup
#one piece#pokemon au#one piece au#pokemon#vinsmoke sanji#roronoa zoro#portgas d ace#cyborg franky#nico robin#tony tony chopper#soul king brook#cat burglar nami#monkey d luffy#jinbei#one piece sabo#usopp#trafalgar law#ive been holding back too long i needed to let it out#honestly wanted to post about it a few months ago but i just never got to it#maybe ill make a post talking about all the teams ive figured out bc i have reasons as to why I chose a lot of the pokemon i did#not all of them have reasons though some of them just fit the vibe but a lot of them do#i also just like it a lot#oracle draws stuff#one piece x pokemon au
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sunk cost fallacy
"im reeling in my brain again, before it can get back to you."
playing ricky montgomery ...
seonghwa x fem!reader
< chapter one > chapter two (?)
genre: 4am rant, angst, second chance, ex, seonghwa mc
w/c: 2.6k
summary: he ran for you like a fool when you called him saying your car broke down after fifteen months of no contact
tw: quite poorly written (its pretty much my vents into a fic), reader METAPHORICALLY referred to as "small," no happy ending (unless this gets attention), minor swearing, just sad, thats it though
note: the indented are memories. hi guys im back from school camp hehhee!!! i have never seen angst being on the s/o's side, its always carried on the y/n which frustrates me... might delete this cus i havent proofread,, yeah i might make a pt2 of hea if anyone cares 😭
"oh what am i supposed to do, without you?"
THURSDAY 04:17
seonghwa had no intent of anything, when he was unable to sleep.
seonghwa had no intent of anything, when he minimised himself across his bed.
his mind is a merry go round, already worn out. he doesn't know if these feelings in the air are beautiful or wretched.
seonghwa had no intent of anything, before his phone rings to a call.
he looks over and reads your name across the phone screen. it was almost a reflex when he instantly straightened himself, grabbed his phone and answered.
"y/n? hello?"
“hey, seo- seonghwa…” you shudder as you say his name. “could you help me?”
oh how he missed your voice. yet, his full name sounds strange under your lips.
and only after a moment of communication on the phone, he grabs his keys off the nightstand.
˖ ࣪⭑
"sorry. i couldn't afford a tow truck," you speak through the call.
"no, don't apologise. i'm coming for you."
he's already driving through the dark, apathetic to his dishevelled state. as well as the speed limit.
you’re trapped on the side of the road with a broken down car. you happened to be without any other choice but to call him. and honestly, thank the fates that this was the situation.
“are you okay? its so loud, are you driving safely?” you say, hearing influx of seonghwa��s very own car horns.
“yeah. don’t worry. just a whole lot of mindless drivers,” he replies. people who couldn’t drive should get off the road.
as he speaks, he notices how exhausted his voice sounds, as though he hasn’t spoke in so long. but one couldn’t really get a chance to talk if there was never anyone to talk to.
more horns fill the air.
seonghwas hunches forward. he is on the brink of smashing the pedal, just to distract himself from his own overwhelming mind. the drive is so damn slow.
as he steps back, he cries, realising all is gone. "what about my friends? my parents? they all hate you. fuck it, they hate me too. im sorry. i just can't."
somebody blocks his way, and he punches the steering wheel. well, it’s more because of the memories that begin to trespass his head, however it is impossible for him to care less.
he hates himself for the way he took your vast, beautiful hope for granted during then. for how he was so dense, so scared to let his love take over his fear. and now that everything all had dissolved, he wishes he did something differently. so that perhaps the current state wouldn’t be so.
and so perhaps you wouldn’t be stranded in the middle of nowhere but a road, all alone, in the night. for hours.
you’re in trouble. and he is obliged to save you, be your hero, the way he used to, and the way he was always supposed to.
“are you alright? are you cold? do you have a jacket?” he asks through the phone, almost at your location.
he waits for a response, but he's only met with silence.
"y/n? hello? y/n??"
and there was still no answer.
his heart rate drastically increases. he's really smashing the pedal now.
"y/n,, answer me? please?? hello???" he shakes.
a hundred, a hundred and ten, a hundred and thirty.
he's so scared.
he's yelling over the phone at this point, but you're still not responding.
"Y/N!! FUCK," he yells, almost to tears, vigorously pushing his back against the seat as he continues the drive.
and when seonghwa sees your familiar vehicle in the far distance from his windscreen, he swerves his steering wheel to turn to the side. he doesn't care if he's too far to stop. he roughly slams his hand to the gear for adjustment and swiftly releases his seatbelt, stepping out of the door and slamming it behind him. he leaves his car resting diagonally out of the highway, half onto the grass, because he really doesn’t care about anything else right now.
he runs desperately towards you in the soft moonlight.
it was windy and cold while he’s wearing nothing but a thin shirt and trousers, when he appeared outside your car door, finally laying his eyes through the window.
his heart stops for a little bit, seeing you for the first time in what felt like ages.
he finds that you're asleep, and he's so relieved that you're safe. yet what currently alters him more is your mere presence right upon him. you look so fragile and so small, your knees huddled to your chest, and his stomach twists. you're prettier than he could ever remember.
and he misses you so, so much.
he gently knocks against your glass window.
and you gradually open your eyes to his panting, his wide eyed gaze, and the wind in his hair.
"y/n?"
he steps back as he watches your beautiful figure exit the car. you are thankfully wearing a thin jacket.
the moment you shut your car door, he walks over to you and engulfs you under a tight embrace.
oh how it felt for him, to hug you like this again.
"seonghwa."
he immediately noticed how you tensed up when he pulled your frame into his body, and he softly released you.
his heart breaks a little bit. he's so ashamed of his thoughtless actions.
he looks down at you, his heart twisting as he realised he was undeserving of your comfort, and takes a step back.
"my bad," he mutters under his breath, covering his face to accept the fact that he just messed up the moment he got to see you.
"no, don't worry. it's alright," you reply, smiling in a way which looks so obviously forced.
he doesn’t know what to say, as there was no excuse for the way he treated you. all he could do is look at you, noticing every little crack in your demeanour.
he guides you back to his car.
when you fell back into the structure of the road with him, the air was empty and silent.
you were unsettled of the vast tension.
"how are you doing?" you manage to say out loud, but even you flinch at your own words. a such normal phrase sounds so drastically different than it did before.
doing? how does he answer that question if he had done nothing for the past fifteen months and four days, supposedly since the day of when his love of his life had disappeared?
"i'm doing good. how about you?"
he swallows hard as he sees your lifeless expression through the corner of his eye.
he had always seen you uplifting and cheerful, yet right now he couldn’t fathom how you’re the same person. you appear so worn.
"i'm great. just a bit tired tonight."
he stares endlessly at the many lights flashing from his windscreen.
one could say it was awkward, but he is too dismantled to conclude this precious moment like that. he's happy enough that he gets to see you again, although he knows he shouldn't. but he hopes you feel the same too.
"how long were you there for?" seonghwa asks for an attempt to keep the conversation.
"well, since twelve."
he almost crashes to the car in front.
"what? are you alright?" he says. "the hell were you doing for four hours?"
"sorry. i mean.."
"no, why are you apologising? i'm just.. why are you-"
your instinct to apologise hits him greatly. seonghwa knew he was the reason for your anxiety, and he despises himself. he turns to you, and for a second, he sees all that he put you through.
"i should've listened to my friends," seonghwa tells you, broken in state. "you've done nothing but cause me stress."
he wants to throw up.
"what were you doing for four hours?? why did you have to wait four hours to call someone???" he asks with great worry.
"it was dark, and there was nobody i could contact. i called all my friends, and none responded. i assumed they were asleep."
although he is happier to find you again, it still hurts that his wound is severely reopened by this moment beside you alone. it hurts that he couldn't even blame your search for him.
"i initially planned to wait until the next morning, but i lost patience. i called you, and you picked up almost instantly," you conclude.
after when you said the last sentence, he suddenly felt like you knew him too well.
perhaps you also knew that the sole reason he never falls asleep was because of you. because he is waiting for you. because he still loves you so much, he couldn't sleep bearing the thought of his feelings unrequited.
"you're safe now," he says.
you tighten, bringing your arms closer to yourself. "thank you so much. for this. seriously. i know i'm probably not the person you wanted to see."
"don't be sorry. please don't. i'm happy to see you again."
the moment was now quiet, but calming to the ears.
he felt lucky he didn't give up on the sunrise too soon. if fifteen dreadful months led to having an hour with you, he's more than grateful.
he wonders if you feel the same. that you're happy too.
he wanted to convince himself that maybe you lied when you said you couldn’t afford a tow truck. that maybe, just maybe, you wanted to see him again.
"are you hungry?" he asks to fill the air. you must be.
"no," you reply.
"lets stop to eat."
"no, it's okay. i'm not hungry."
"you lie too much. you've been stuck in some damn car for half a lifetime. we're eating, yeah?" he says, and there's no stopping him.
truthfully, he did not care if you were uncomfortable eating with him. he felt selfish, inconsiderate. he panicked when he watched the gps get closer and closer to you're place. he only wanted to use this chance to find more time with you regardless, because he knew you would never come back to loving him no matter how hard he tries.
"fine," you admit. but it sounded like you really wanted to stop to eat with him. and he wanted to believe that.
"what about convenience store food?" he says.
he knows you love miniature food. it's far more accessible to have many small packs of diverse dishes, rather than otherwise.
you smile, and his heart flutters ballistic.
you laugh once you walk into the bright, empty store with him.
"i want sushi… i really craved sushi," you say, pointing to the aisle.
"of course you do," he smiles, following you.
you take a compact sized pack that's fairly cheap, and now it starts.
he waits there in the corner as you run around the small store, taking almost anything you think looks good. he watches you far happier than before, and he felt something in his chest that wasn't fear. more so, it felt like he finally released all that he carried.
seonghwa felt alive again for the first time after fifteen months.
"this!!" you suddenly come into sight, holding about six or seven packets of food that you almost struggled to carry.
"you want that?" he chuckles. "alright."
there was no queue, so he went straight over with you to pay. seonghwa gets nothing but a small coffee.
if he could at least be your friend again, there's nothing more that he could ever want.
he leads you out of the place, back into the car. he held the door for you.
"thank you," you say. "thank you so much."
"don't worry," he replies.
once he gets in the car, he views you opening your food. although he used to recognise himself as a mass eater, he doesn't remember the last time he did. his body is destroyed with nothing but coffee and water.
and when he starts driving, he watches you enjoy your food. he softens more than ever at the sight.
"want some?" you ask, holding out a whole ice cream tub you're just scooping with a spoon. you're quite of a silly person.
seonghwa laughs. "i'm driving."
sooner or later, you hold up the same spoon of vanilla ice cream to his face. his heart beats faster before he takes a bite out.
"shove it in," you laugh at the way he's struggling.
he tries his hardest not to laugh in order to properly eat the ice cream.
"goodness, you're so peculiar," he says after he managed to consume the load.
"no, you are," you say. "youre the strangest person i know."
he smiles and turns to you for a second, unable to say anything. "well, i dont eat my ice cream off its tub."
"i dont eat four ramen packets at once," you rebut, hitting his shoulder playfully.
"oh be quiet right now," he replies.
you laugh, scooping another piece straight from the tub.
"i don't care about that. i know its impossible, but i want to believe its possible," you say, with the eyes of the most warmth so generously offered to him.
and there the two are, acting as though nothing had happened between them, acting as two lovers.
˖ ࣪⭑
he follows you to the apartment complex you stay in, and he's unable to let you go.
as you say your farewells walk away into the building, he catches your wrist, and you turn around.
"i still love you. im sorry i messed up before," he whispers to you. he steps closer as he takes his slightly trembling fingers to guide a stray hair behind your ear.
you didn't expect the sudden confession. "seonghwa.."
he shuts his mouth. the way you hesitate sort of leaves him uneasy. he stops to look at you, to cherish this little time he has with you. who knows if this will be the last time he sees you?
no matter how far it hurts him to admit, he couldn't deny how beautiful you are.
"can we try again?" he says almost mindlessly. he felt like he lost everything with that sentence, and wishes he could take it back.
it was silent for only a moment. those few seconds were more anticipating than he had ever felt, he wishes he were gone.
you looked down, as though trying to find what to say. there was nothing but ringing in his ear, until you answered, "i’m interested in somebody else."
"im sorry," he mutters, shamefully pulling away. he covers half his face with his palms to look down upon for a second. it's shattering when he absorbs all your words, burrowing them deep under his anguished heart.
you moved on already?
"its okay." you reply.
who is this new man? is it your really close colleague he never liked? or your guy that's always been part of your friend group?
"why is it so hard for you to just trust me?" you yell, and it seems as the glass tipped over.
he lets go of his arms. "who is this guy?" he asks, almost instictively. he spoke more aggressively than he intended.
"i don't think you're obligated to know."
he tightens his eyes shut.
so fast. you’re so fast. everyone is so fast. it had been fifteen months, yet he’s still in the same place he was in those fifteen months ago.
you’re moving on, while he had stopped. how does he fill the gap that does not shrink?
you’ve really given up on him.
you like someone else.
it's all over.
he subtly bites his lip, stepping back. he couldn't even look at you anymore. "well, i..." he barely mumbles, his voice trembling. "i really wish i could be the man you fell in love with again. i really do."
you almost flinch, looking away from him. you couldn't believe he could say such a thing. you seemed like you pitied him, for how vulnerable he currently reveals to you. "i’m sorry. just... leave me alone for a bit, yeah?"
it felt like knives to his heart. "you want me to leave?"
his voice is breaking. he looks back up to you, trying so hard to find a hint in your expression that you wanted to take it back, even a tiny hint, but he couldn’t.
"if thats okay," you say, as he freezes at your words. he felt like he said something he shouldn't have. what if this is the last time? what if this is really the last encounter? is this the moment everything is said?
“okay. then i'll.. then i'll see you,” his voice slightly trembles.
"im sorry. i'll see you," you reply, watching him leave.
"i wish i was strong enough. for us,” he says.
seonghwa steps back, and follows hesitantly. he stares to the cold, stone ground, exiting the complex as all his instincts scream against him.
the way you speak is destroying him piece by piece. he doesn't want to step any further away from you. he could never accept that you no longer love him. but if this is what you choose, he couldn't really do anything.
his love for you is overflowing in his hands. who else could he give this to if you refuse it? it hurts to carry.
its okay. he’s is willing to wait more for you. for something to happen again.
but how long will it take?
#seonghwa fanfic#seonghwa ff#seonghwa fic#ateez imagines#park seonghwa ff#seonghwa angst#ateez angst#seonghwa x reader#seonghwa fanfiction
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im a trans boy who has grown up with very oppressive religious parents so ive never gotten the chance to experiment sexually or romantically with peers irl, im about to move to the city for college in the fall
(i will be living on campus with two roommates who i haven't met yet and i know basically nothing about, one of them i will be sharing a bunk bed with)
im really nervous about how im gonna do socially.. ive had a really hard time making and maintaining irl friends for like my entire life, which has been really upsetting for me obviously.
being able to experiment sexually is something im really wanting to do and im really really nervous about it, i know that the most straightforward advice is just "talk about it to people you wanna do sex stuff with" but like everything is new to me i havent had the chance to really socialize irl up until this point and now im being shoved into a group of other young adults who all have the prior experience of being well socialized and having complex interpersonal relationships with peers
i also feel extremely insecure about my lack of experience, like is it actually normal for someone my age to have never had a romantic or sexual encounter? are the things ive discovered and assumptions ive made about myself sexually through masturbating wrong?? i can't watch porn bc looking at strangers having sex grosses me out!! im pretty sure my front hole is like unnaturally tight?? anything wider than two of my fingers is uncomfortable and no matter how much prep and easing myself into it i do, it stays that way.. and i think my cervix is also lower than most, about 3-4 inches is the maximum that i can insert before i can feel it bump my cervix (which hurts REALLY BAD)
im just so nervous and scared about my own body and personality and all that andi don't know where to look for resources or reassurance. ive never been to the doctor for any kind of reproductive care and im really scared to!!! i live in a state that has completely outlawed abortion rights and im really scared that if i go to planned parenthood or something to get like a checkup that they will be mean and not gentle with me
i don't know, i guess im just looking to be heard and hopefully pointed towards some resources if anyone has any, thank you for the work you do and thank you for taking the time to read my panicked ramblings
hi anon,
there's a lot happening here so I'm just doing a numbered list
1.) man, how did the third guy luck out and avoid the bunk bed? you don't have to answer that, I'm just curious how you guys have already worked out that two of you are stuck with the bunk beds. unless you're into bunk beds (I was), in which case mazel tov.
2.) in the nicest way possible, I think you may be vastly overestimating how "well socialized" other students are going to be. reading between the lines a bit, it sounds like you were maybe home schooled, or at least don't have very much experience mingling with other people your age without adult supervision. I guarantee you every public school in the world is also full of introverted freak losers who rock up to college with no idea of what they're doing; I was one of them. the majority of first year college students are also running around panicking and trying to figure out how to be away from their parents for the first time; everyone is a loser and no one is cool.
would it comfort you at all to know that my day job is organizing events at my office's LGBT student resource center? I spend a lot of time hanging out with queer first year students, and I love them dearly, and they're all cringefail losers. it's unavoidable. every 18 year old is a cringefail loser. every single person on Earth looks back at their 18 year old self and goes "goddamn, what a cringefail loser." and it's fine! it's so normal! that's the entire point of your first year of college! you try things and you're socially awkward and you meet some of the most important people you will ever meet and you meet people whose opinions about you won't matter literally at all and you'll completely change how you think about everything for the rest of your life and you'll think you're going to die and everything will be fine!!!!
anyway moving on
3.) it's normal for anyone at any age to have never had a romantic or sexual encounter. I'm assuming you value my insight at least a little, since you sent this, so would it help you to know that I arrived at college as virginal as could be (wildly insecure about it, btw) and didn't have sex for the first time until I was almost 21? would it comfort you to hear from my housemate, also transmasculine, who gave me permission to share that they've never had sex and that none of their life problems really have anything to do with being a virgin?
4.) "are the things ive discovered and assumptions ive made about myself sexually through masturbating wrong??" hard to say, since I don't know what those things are, but probably not. it's extremely hard to get masturbating wrong, no one knows what feels good to you better than you. you're sort of an authority here. masturbating isn't exactly like partnered sex, of course, but it's a really good place to start learning about things that you like and make you feel good.
5.) everything you're describing about your front hole sounds very typical. two fingers is the max number of comfortable fingers for a lot of people, regardless of experience; often, taking something larger doesn't become easier until after having penetrative sex with a partner. average vaginal depth is about 3.6 inches, and while that can increase significantly with arousal, it's something that doesn't generally happen if you're not relaxed during sex. if I can be a bit presumptuous, it sounds like sex and masturbation are maybe a bit anxiety-inducing for you, in a way that is pretty much perfectly contradictory to comfortable penetration. if I can offer you some advice I wish I could give my younger self: calm the fuck down, buy some lube, stop worrying so much about making your body react the way you think it should and learn to appreciate what it's actually doing, and maybe see if your campus has some free therapy options available. anxiety meds probably wouldn't hurt this situation. also stop hitting your cervix if that hurts oh my god.
6.) Planned Parenthood is generally one of the best places to go if you're nervous; they're aggressively queer friendly and tend to be extremely accommodating of patients' needs. I personally do not care for penetration at all and have a difficult time with Pap smears, and every examiner I've ever had at PP has been an angel about letting me take breaks and swear my way through it. it ain't fun, but if you want to have an adventurous sex life you need to take care of the health of yourself and your prospective partners by getting STI tests and Pap smears.
you're so normal, calm down, I love you
#sex edventures 2024#if any of my students read this#1.) stop looking at my tumblr#2.) yes you're a loser (affectionate) and I love you
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i'm sorry that my ramble about my story idea got so long btw. i usually don't have anyone to talk to about it so i got excited and carried away just a little bit
also, saran liking octopus is so funny to me idk why. i just had the image of his tentacles getting mortified/scared when he eats it in my head (only if they have their own consciousness ofc)
dw about it!!! i havent answered it yet bc i wanna take my time w reading etc and rn im not home but ill get to it once im back 👍 dont want u to think im ignoring it or stuff
they dont have their own consciousness, theyre a part of him so they dont get horrified. he does eat octopus but wasnt super big about it until the incident(tm), when he eats it now its definitely his subtle way of showing dominance/being spiteful. he was eaten first so now hes eating it back etcetc
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lost and found - ezra bridger
Request: nope Pairing: ezra bridger x jedi!reader Summary: along with the remainder of the ghost crew and ahsoka, you're trying to find ezra Warnings: HEAVY SPOILERS FOR AHSOKA S1!!! im warning u dont read this if u havent seen all of it yet Word count: 1.1K A/N: I survived the war (im posting fics again) but at what cost (brainrot has taken over)
your music is blaring through the speakers of your ship as you're working. though your ship isn't in need of any repairs, you're always finding new modifications and additions to upgrade it. at this rate, it's unrecognisable as the ship you once got from a sketchy dealer on an outer rim planet.
working on your ship is also a way to distract yourself. when you're focused on working with your hands, your mind doesn't wander off.
it doesn't wander off to hera and jacen aboard the ghost. it doesn't wander off to sabine and ahsoka on her T-6 shuttle. but mostly, it doesn't wander off to ezra. you try not to think about the fact hera is on an unauthorised mission, that you haven't heard from sabine and ahsoka in a while which is unlike them, and that you feel like you're not even a little bit closer to finding ezra.
even though you haven't seen him for years, you refuse to believe he's gone. you tell yourself you would simply know if he didn't make it. before you lost him, the two of you shared a strong bond in the force. you figured if something had happened to him, you would have felt it.
but after all of these years, it's hard to hold on to hope. you really want to. but at some point logic has to take over.
though recently, hope has sparked in you yet again. with the map ahsoka found, the chances of finding ezra have increased. you are optimistic again.
but the search hasn't been without danger. even now, you're worried.
which is why you're working on your ship. otherwise you'd just pace around or stare off into the distance with your mind running around in circles getting lost in the "what ifs".
a faint beeping sounds pulls you out of your thoughts. you get up from your position underneath one of the main consoles and get your comm.
'general syndulla for commander y/l/n.' comes hera's voice.
'go for commander y/l/n.' you say.
'hey y/n, where are you right now?'
'just working on my ship in the main hangar back on base.'
'new modifications again?'
'yeah, yeah, I know. "a good ship doesn't need modifications." well, I like them. the ghost could use some upgrades as well, you know.'
'no thank you, my ship is perfectly fine.'
you chuckle as you wipe your hands on your pants.
'have you heard from sabine and ahsoka yet?' you say. 'and when are you coming home from this unauthorised mission?'
'sabine and ahsoka are alright, we're actually on our way now. and we have some news regarding ezra.' says hera.
'you have news on ezra?' you say, unable to hide the relief in your voice. 'do you know how to find him? or where he is? is he okay?'
'we'll talk about it in person. we should be arriving soon.' says hera.
'I'll wait for you.'
'see you soon.'
hera disconnects her comm, leaving you alone with the music again. your mind is racing. they have news on ezra. you knew it, he's still out there somewhere. you're sure of it.
you quickly put the panel of the main console back and tidy up your tools. just as you pause your music and exit your ship, you see the ghost and ahsoka's T-6 shuttle getting closer to the hangar.
you anxiously await them, watching as they carefully land. the shuttle door opens and sabine and ahsoka come out of it.
sabine smiles as you half walk, half run up to them and pull them both into a hug.
'I'm so glad you guys are safe.' you say. 'it scared the shit out of me when I couldn't contact you.'
'we're alright.' says ahsoka, patting you on the back.
you pull back to look at them. they both look tired, but other than that they seem fine. sabine has a twinkle in her eyes and smile on her face.
'what is it?' you say. 'do you know something about ezra?'
'yeah.' says sabine. 'but hera should tell you.'
she points to the ghost, where hera has just exited the ship. jacen follows her, but is looking over his shoulder and talking to someone. at first, you assume it's merely chopper.
but as they walk further down, you see it's not chopper at all. it's a young man. he's wearing colourful robes and has a beard and curly hair.
it doesn't matter he's older than he is in your memories. it doesn't matter he still has the same eyes and the same scar on his cheek. it doesn't matter something in the force tugs on you so strongly, as if it has found its home.
none of it matters, because you would know him anywhere, in any universe, no matter who you are.
ezra. your ezra. talking with jacen as if nothing had ever happened. he's here, he's alive.
a sob escapes your mouth as you take off.
'ezra!' you yell.
you don't even bother to hide the tears as they stream down your cheeks. after all this time, he's finally here.
for a brief second you see his smile before you crash into him. you wrap your arms around his neck and bury your face in his neck, holding him impossibly close. you're never going to let him go.
words fail you as you just cry into his shoulder.
you feel ezra's arms around your back and get lost in the feeling. it's all so painfully familiar, as if no time had passed at all. yet you know everything has happened since the last time you saw him.
you slightly pull away to look at him.
ezra is smiling at you just like he did all those years ago. though he's older, he's still the same. still the same kid you met on the streets of lothal.
you reach out and brush a finger over the scar on his cheek.
'you're here.' you say breathlessly.
'I am.' he says.
you'd heard his voice in your dreams and memories and the recording sabine still has. but this is different. it means everything and more to you.
'you're as beautiful as the day I lost you.' you whisper.
'I dreamed of this day.' says ezra. 'thought about all the things I would say to you. it all seemed so simple. but now? I have no idea. nothing seems like the right thing to say.'
'but it is simple.' you say. 'I love you.'
ezra smiles even brighter. 'I love you too.' he says. 'I always knew I would see you again. we have a lot of catching up to do.'
you smile as ezra leans in and kisses your forehead. you'd finally found each other again.
A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rulesHere’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Max/Marit
#did I shamelessly use a line from httyd? yes because it lives in my head rent free#also im YELLIIINGGG about this#like as a rebel fan im going insane#ahsoka#ahsoka series#ahsoka spoilers#ezra bridger#ezra bridger x reader#ezra bridger fanfiction#ezra bridger fanfic#ezra bridger fanfics#ezra bridger fic#ezra bridger fics#ezra bridger oneshot#ezra bridger oneshots#ezra bridger blurb#ezra bridger blurbs#star wars#Star Wars fanfiction#Star Wars fanfic#Star Wars fanfics#Star Wars fic#Star Wars fics#Star Wars oneshot#Star Wars oneshots#Star Wars blurb#Star Wars blurbs#rebels#rebels fanfiction#rebels fanfic
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https://www.tumblr.com/cheekinpermission/746227919612936192?source=share
Hope not late! 25 , 5 and 28👀👀
Nope not late at all!!
25. Which character(s) would you actively avoid? Personally, you would not see me anywhere near Vil, Rook or Sebek.
I can appreciate Vil's efforts to have people more self-confident in their own image however I absolutely despise how forceful he goes about it, especially with Epel and the dance troupe. If I EVER caught him trying to change parts of myself that I'm proud of (my australian accent, my nerdy sense of fashion, etc.) it would be ON SIGHT- (Can you tell I'm still not over Book 5?)
For Rook, i can say I..... respect his dedication and loyalty to his beliefs. However? That man... he scares me... Also, i'm still extremely salty over the VDC/SDC results WE SHOULD HAVE WON THAT AND WE LOST TO THE TWST EQUIVILANT OF BABY SHARK- Rook, i don't care about your reasonings for why we weren't at our best, I've seen the video performance AND THE NRC TRIBE FUCKING NAILED IT!!!
And then our croccy boi- Now don't get me wrong, I do love Sebek as a member of the first year gang of idiots. I also don't know a lot about him personally since I've only known him in events and havent started Book 7 yet. From what I have seen, he does annoy me a lot with his blatant disregard and disrespect to anyone who isn't Malleus or Lilia. His ego and his racism also really piss me off and make me wanna slap some sense into him. I understand it comes from a place of self-loathing but dude, PLEASE read the room for once and not screech our ears off. I'm certain that I would eventually befriend him but if we actually met face to face, it would be a miracle for me to not punch him 1 minute after his insults.
5. If you could have any unique magic / signature spell in the game, which would you choose and why?
Ooooh I've never thought about that until now actually. Personally, i would want something that would be useful and practical both in a day to day life or in a fight since I'm not very physically strong. Going with that idea, i'd more than likely pick either Split Card or Paint The Roses/Doodle Suit. Multiple me's to help me do chores around the house or distract someone in a fight? YES PLEASE!! I also have a lot of sensory issues so I feel like Paint the Roses would really help me eat the things i need to or make a certain texture that feels funny to me turn comfortable. We've also seen how useful it can be in a fight during Riddle's Overblot when Trey turned the rosebush into cards and saved us.
If just for fun though, I'd love to try out any of Savanaclaw's UM's/SS's. Now THAT would be chaotic heheh.
28. What is the TWST related content that you've produced that you are most proud of?
I personally really love my HTTYD x TWST fic that i've been writing. Knowing myself, I probably wont ever finish/post it so I'll have what I've written linked here for anyone who's interested in my favourite brainworm lol. Bella is a very special oc near and dear to my heart as she's the first one that I've enjoyed writing for since being kicked out of home over a year ago. She gave me back my creativity and I couldn't be more thankful for it.
Right now, I've even been imagine a Fairly OddParents x TWST fic in my head which I think would be a BLAST to write, where my Twisted version of Timmy Turner (a girl called Izzy) would use their rule free wish to be a part of Wanda, Cosmo and Poof/Peri's family as their bio daughter when they're no longer her godparents and becomes a half-fairy hybrid in the process. The idea of a "magicless" girl at NRC who out of nowhere suddenly can not only make but GRANT wishes that bend the laws of reality around her is absolutely hilarious to me. Haha take that you pricks, you thought I was weak? BOOM you're a hedgehog, now you really are a prick. Rewatching FOP and seeing how Timmy can be such a menace/pos really makes me think he would fit in GREAT amongst NRC lol.
I'm also really proud of the Card edits I've done for other people where I turn their OC's into different rated cards so it looks like it's from the game. Seeing all the different kinds of OC's and hearing about their characters is so amazing.
Feel free to send in any more asks or questions!! I love interacting with the Twst Community <3
#twisted wonderland#twst confessions#twisted wonderland confessions#father twist's preachings#twst#disney twst#disney twisted wonderland#twistedwonderland#twst ask game#i'm sorry vil but i love my food#twst vil#vil schoenheit#twst rook#rook hunt#twst sebek#sebek zigvolt#twisted wonderland sebek#savanaclaw#riddle rosehearts#twst riddle#twst trey#trey clover#twst cater#cater diamond#httyd#how to train your dragon#fop timmy#the fairly oddparents#fairy oddparents#fanfic
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how long have h been into pjo? would u evr want to meet rick? favorite all time rrverse character?
I got into pjo in like 3rd grade, read tlt and som and then stopped for whatever reason, I then got back into it a bit when they announced the show but got like fully into it when the first episode aired! Since then I've gone back and reread tlt and som and then everything up to where I am currently (halfway through the tower of Nero) I havent read tsats yet (I'm waiting till I finish ToA), or tkc or mcga yet tho!
I think I would be a little scared to meet him, not for any reason other than I'm scared of what I would say and ask... I have so many questions and thoughts... I think I would want to meet him tho 😂
All time favorite rrverse character is either Leo! But Meg, Jason, and Nico are very close seconds!
#pjo hoo toa#percy jackson and the olympians#heroes of olympus#trials of apollo#asks#leo valdez#jason grace#rick riordan#meg mccaffrey#nico di angelo#riordanverse#rick riordan books#the trials of apollo
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This is part 3 ,but it works out as a oneshot as well so no one misses out on what happens!:D
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
Alastor was woken up by soft sniffles along being gently shooked awake by little hands,if he was in a deep sleep he wouldn't have felt it,he opens one eye to see his daughter crying,"What is it honey?" He asked groggily,trying to wake up some.
"Bad dweamm dada.." she sobs as Alastor is now fully up,he take her in his arms, holding her close along with rubbing her back,"It's okay,you're safe, darling.." he said, hugging her,glancing at the time that read five in the morning. "You can stay in here for a bit." He said,wanting to lay back down. Charlie happily babbles,nuzzling against her father, who lays back down with her,putting the blanket over them. Alastor closes his eyes for what feels like a few seconds,ending up falling back to sleep. Charlie, who was still awake, moved off of her father,going to her mwama, who was dead asleep. She stares at him and then playfully smacks the blonde in the face,earning small groans from him. She giggles as she then pokes his chubby cheeks repeatedly before jumping on him,hearing an oof sound from him along with some movements from under the covers for him to look at her.
"Good morning, Charlotte..." he says half awake.
"Charlie!" The young blonde said, puffing out her cheeks as she playfully jumps on Luficer again.
"Okay.. im up..." he raspyly said, sitting up,hugging his daughter.
"It's so early.." he said, looking at the clock,"Why are you up?" He asked,thinkin that her sleeping schedule is gonna be fucked.
"Monsters!" She says.
"I thought i spray them away."
"Bathroom."
"I didn't spray there.. I'll do it later on." He said,truth be told there was no monsters he knows no one dares try to break into their home if they have a death wish, so to ease her worries he always spray some air freshner to make it seem like he scare the scary monsters away.
"Come on kiddo- wait did you wake your dad up?" Lucifer asked,hopefully he could hand Charlie over to his partner so he could sleep.
"Wake me up and you're a dead man love." Alastor says suddenly.
"Damn." Lucifer pouts,"Let me make breakfast for you and Char Char then.." he said,leaning over to the night stand to get his white robe and tying it around his scarred body,he was already wearing duck pajamas bottoms. He still havent gotten his other pjs out of the dryer yet so this will do,he picks his daughter up,"Do you want anything love?" He asked his partner.
"Peace and quiet. "
"Starve."
"You're always a terrible cook." Alastor replied back.
"Hey!.. so mean." He then gets up with Charlie in his arms,leaving the room he goes to the kitchen along with turning on the living room and kitchen lights so he doesnt trip over things again. He sits Charlie in her high chair,he goes into the fridge to get her some juice,"I'm making oatmeal this morning." He said, handing her sippy cup filled with apple juice. Charlie immediately starts drinking her juice,it's her favorite..or was it orange juice? She didnt know,they were both tasty to her.
Lucifer started making oatmeal the ones that you can just add water then microwave under 3 minutes,once it's done he tasted it to make sure it wasnt to hot for Charlie.
"Hey!!"
"I was just checking the temperature, I wasn't gonna eat it." Lucifer defended himself,setting the bowl in front of her as he happily puts her hands in the bowl and eating.
"You have a spoon for a reason.." he said as he watches her make a mess with the oatmeal.
Lucifer goes into one of the cabinets to get another bowl out and pour himself some cereal,he took the spoon Charlie was supposed to use for himself,and sat down next to her as he eats his dry cereal,realizing at the last second they need milk and two that he eating dry cereal..
He ate it like a champ,not minding it. He thought the spoon was an overkill when he could just use his hands.
Guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
He was quick to finish his cereal, and he got up and put it into the sink as he got himself a bottle of water from the fridge and drank it.
Charlie was now playing with the small amount of food she had,Lucifer decided she was done and took the bowl from her as he finished off the rest by using his hand,eating the remaining oatmeal. He then puts her bowl in the sink along with washing his hands,"Come on, charlie, let's get you ready since you are fully awake." He said taking her out of the high chair,as she holds onto him,getting oatmeal onto his robe. He takes her to the bathroom where he helped her brush her teeth along with washing her up some,brushing her unkept hair along with dressing her up. She was wearing a red deer onesie with the feet being little black paws and on the backside a small red deer tail with white underneath can be seen. "Im papa!!" She beams,practically jumping up and down.
"Yes you are sweetly." He smiles,it was a habit for Alastor and Lucifer to dress Charlie up as their loved one,for an example when Charlie was first born Lucifer had put a deer beanie onto her along with a red onsies as she sleeps. He did it at first because laundry wasn't done at the time but ending up liking the idea and thought it would be cute,another reason is that he didn't want his girl to end up forgetting about them or hating them for some reason.
Alastor thought it was cute and funny so he kinda just went along with it,not really questioning Lucifer.
"Imma let you play for a bit,then after play time we gotta go to the store for some stuff."
"Oki!!" Charlie said practically running out the door.
"I hope she doesnt make a mess." He said smiling softly,as he quickly brushes his teeth along with brushing his hair,whicing ended up more poofyier than normal because he didn't want to wet or do anything with it.
He passed Charlie's room to see her talking on her toy landline,he smiles at her before going to his shared room to get dressed.
He opens the closet,going through it just picking out something to wear which he picks out blue jeans and a white shirt. "Do you need anything from the store love?" He asked,taking the robe off,showing off his scars once more before putting the shirt on. The scars were old,the ones that were on his upper arms that the shirt hid were when he went through depression. He doesn't like to talk much about it because it'll make him cry and he wants to be strong for his family.
"Get me the ingredients for jambalaya,we're having that for dinner tonight, please. I've been craving it but haven't gotten around to it." Alastor said awake,he knows he won't go back to sleep.
"Okay." Lucifer then goes over to him and kisses him," Always So beautiful when you wake up,i love you."
Alastor who felt like a zombie lets his lover kiss him. He's usually a morning person, but lately, he's been sleeping later than usual. He feels fingers run through his messy red hair, then the feeling of his ears being scratched,he leans into the touch,smiling softly.
No matter how many times Lucifer touches Alastor's ears, he always loved how soft they were. "I'll be an hour,think you can survive without me ?"
"Definitely. " The other remarks.
"Supposed to say no -"
Alastor laughs,making the blonde puff out his cheeks,"Fine, see if i care." He said, leaving the room.
Alastor counting backward from three ,"three..two..one"
Lucifer pokes his head out from the other side of the door,"Do you really mean that?" He asked,giving him his puppy dog eyes.
Alastor softly sighed,"No, i don't mean that,I'll miss you."
"Okay, good. You better." He said before going back to Charlie.
The radio demon smiles,"That's my idiot. " he softly says to no one but himself.
Lucifer gets Charlie, who reluctantly stopped playing to go to the store. She loves adventure and helping out as much as she can. He puts her in her red car seat,making sure she's buckled up, then gets inside of the red Kia Forte, then drives to the store. Charlie had her own little steering wheel. That way, she could drive along with her mama, too.
"Vroommm!" Charlie says,hitting her little horn while turning the wheel constantly,"Wook, I'm drivin!!"
"I'm very proud of you,you're an amazing driver, hon." Luficer smiles at his daughter through the mirror's view as they soon arrive at the store.
#hello tumblr#no proofreading we die like men#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel#appleradio#radioapple#soft alastor#soft lucifer#little charlie#charlie morningstar#lucifer morningstar#my writting
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Riize Seunghan's Controversy Reading
If you havent heard by now, (which I'm sure everyone has if you listen to Riize) Seunghan has been embroiled in a conflict regarding his actions pre debut. This reading is solely to gain insight into the truth regarding the matter. Keep in mind that this is based on tarot. Please take it with a grain of salt!
Are The Allegations True?
King of Wands, King of Cups Rx, Knight of Pentacles, 5 of Pentacles
Already the energy is odd.
So for me, this would be a yes. But there's a catch. Some of the allegations are true yes, but some of them are not, or are not as serious as the media is making them out to be. If I would have to take a guess as to which ones, it would be the alleged under-aged girlfriend one, and the smoking one. I do not believe that the bad-mouthing Eunchae one is true and I do not believe that the "unruly" behavior one is completely true either.
Starting with the King of Wands, which is a yes to me. The King of Wands represents someone who is passionate, head strong, and confident. They like to lead, and they like to be at a place or status of importance because it gives them an ego boost. These are people who live life by their own rules, they are usually self-motivated and action-oriented, and they don't allow themselves to be tied down with restrictions which isn't necessarily a bad thing. However, the King of Wands also represents someone who is hot tempered and overly proud and arrogant.
With the King of Cups in Reverse also being here, emotions are significant, specifically emotional maturity, which is a huge theme with the King of Cups which interestingly enough also influences that kind of behavior from the King of Wands. However, the King of Cups Reversed is a No, so I do not think that this card is representative of Seunghan like the King of Wands is, rather I believe it is a representation of whomever is extorting him (which is also a theme regarding the King of Cups) I can tell however that he is scared and anxious about this exposure.
With the Knight of Pentacles here this entire thing was likely in the works for a long time. The Knight of pentacles represents things that are slow moving. Things that take time. Things that have been persisted against. This also explains why it is that SM has yet to issue any information regarding this situation, because it came about so quickly and so strongly that it caught them off guard. They didn't have nearly enough time to form a defense or get Seunghan some type of protection, especially since stuff is still coming out.
The 5 of Pentacles is a No. But this is all too far gone for Seunghan to come back from. The 5 of Pentacles is a card of internal pain and suffering. Feeling like the world is against you. Feeling left out in the cold. Aside from alienation and disgracing, a common theme with this card is ruin. Financial ruin, political ruin, social ruin. Which is why I feel as though this entire plan was put into work to destroy his career.
How is Seunghan Feeling At This Moment In Time?
Queen of Pentacles Rx, 5 of Wands, The Fool, 7 of Swords Rx
So as expected Seunghan is feel super ungrounded and insecure about this entire situation. There are feelings of jealous here as well almost like "Everyone does this but I'm the one who gets in trouble for it?" He feels betrayed and immediately started to think the worst after this controversy and it's causing his priorities and goals to drift and dwindle. His focus is no longer on his career or atleast not as much as it should be because with the 5 of Wands here he is in a very combative energy with a few others. He wants to speak up, he wants to talk about it and tell the truth and this may be conflicting with SM's plans for him. He may be having some arguments or disagreements with the other members of the group or with his management team about how to move forward with this because it seems to be causing a lot of chaos.
I think he is ready to come clean though, with the 7 of Swords in Reverse. I definitely feel like he's been warned against taking this route but I don't think he cares honestly. He knows that it will be revealed anyway and would feel better about it coming from his own mouth. With The Fool here, he is hoping that this revelation will pardon him and allow him to start over.
What Will Be SM Entertainment's Next Step Regarding This Situation?
Page of Wands, Death, The Hermit Rx, Queen of Swords Rx
Expect SM Entertainment to put out a letter sometime soon. It may be short, and not as detailed as one would like, and it may not be about this situation at all. They may put out a letter promoting someone or something while simultaneously announcing the departure or hiatus of Seunghan. I'm not seeing that this communication will be very clear or concise, and it may not go over well with fans. I'm also seeing that they may take legal action regarding this situation as well.
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I wanted to ask why you hated Idia so much back then and the reason you adore him?
im gonna start telling people to pay me whenever they ask why i hate(d) idia because ive got this question easily 20 different times and frankly i'm losing money by not accepting payment
im not writing all that again i'm so tired of explaining it over and over ughhhh its not your fault min its just i seem to be a skipping record with how often i've had to repeat the same thing over and over and over for a YEAR and people just KEEP ASKING like ok you want to know about my relationship with idia shroud PAY UP!!!!!
anyways...i havent written about the things i adore about him yet so...
first first first!! the thing that made me gasp the softest gasp i have ever gasped in my life when i first saw it...his pink hair. its a bit superficial i guess but now that i like idia i think he's stunning. he's so hauntingly beautiful, especially when he's just a little bit flustered and the tips of his hair turn pink. what i would do to see his whole head turn pink PLEASE.
i also think his smile is so silly, even though it's usually accompanied by his smug ass voice "should'a leveled up more!" SHUT UP!!!!! i love his sharp teeth theyre so goofy nd silly but in a cute way. honestly i think his scowl is cute too, idk maybe i just like his lips but watching them twist up in annoyance when he rolls his eyes is attractive to me dont ask i dont know either. does that say something about me? maybe. i'm content with not knowing.
onto less superficial things...i just finished reading book six yesterday and it struck me how idia's heart is genuinely so beautiful. he loves so gently and fully, but with devotion that would destroy the world if he let it loose. being loved and treasured by idia is a privilege, because once he lets you in he would do anything for you (just dont fuck it up or i will beat you up im being so serious LEAVE HIM ALONE)
the extent to which he cares for ortho is so beautiful and so heartbreaking. "leave it to your big bro" im dead. everything he does is for ortho to have a safe and fulfilling life and honestly...it kind of seems like idia is trying to pay ortho back in a sense? like you died (because of me), now i will spend the rest of my life mourning you as punishment. he wants to give him the best life possible and thats just so ourgourgouhgohou,,,, his grieving is so complex and yet its so simple. heartbreaking i tell you.
on a lighter note, he's very passionate about the things he's into as well. one thing about figuring our how to like idia was turning my reaction to his condescending jabs from "oh he's such a know it all bitch what the hell people are literally just indulging in his interests what is wrong with him?" TO "oh he's just excited and getting an adrenaline rush, it's going to his head. he's happy. :)" and that was absolutely growth on my part because. ok AUBURN LORE TIME but i used to have a friend who was very condescending and a HUGE know it all (irl IRL IRL) and i think they definitely impacted how i saw idia because i saw bits of them in him. and since they hurt me so much i projected my experiences with them onto idia, so the first time i met him in game i wrote him off immediately and hated him after i saw what he said to others and how he acted.
but one of the many problems with that approach was that i missed the gentler sides of him. the way he goes back to school for ortho. the way he powers through the masquerade social for ortho. his idea of yuu being "valuable emotional support." his love of cats, regardless of how bad he scared grim. his love of star rogue and the way he made the sequel actually happen, albiet unintentionally. i spent so much time resenting him because "of course he's just another one of those." that i didn't stop to notice anything about him except for those bad moments. and of course, i'm not ignoring them now, i just see them differently. i see him differently.
of course i love that he's relatable, and that he's smart, and i love how when he's comfortable he loses his filter and becomes idia shroud instead of just being Scared of them, but i think that's just. social anxiety. and yk what ive said this before but even when i hated him i would NOT stand for anyone coming for his anxiety. like yeah i hate idia shroud but BITCH GET AWAY FROM HIM. YOU DONT KNOW WHAT ANXIETY IS LIKE!!! put me in nrc right now idia shroud needs someone who will yell at people for him and thats going to be ME. i dont care who you are you say shit you are earning my IRE. trey clover got yelled at. no one is safe.
can i just say i love how you said "reason" like there's only one JDSJSDJSD LMAO IDK IT WAS JUST FUNNY TO ME when i love someone i have multiple reasons and i love every part of them, even the bad annoying icky parts (in fact, if you can't love their bad parts too is it even love...? i dont know, we all have different definitions anyway. some might think tolerating their bad parts is love too and we'd both be right.) theres no one reason i just think he's lovely inside and out now. he's an angel, basically.
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