#i havent done shit with friends Outside in.... i really dont know

[infinity-on-hype]

Woo

[mrfoox]

It's still scary to feel... This okay for me and im like... Oh man

[thatneoncrisis]

DID YOU KNOW: BULLYING is not the correct way to start a discussion about the treatment of people of colour real and fictional in fandom spaces?

DID YOU KNOW: white knighting usually ends up badly?

DID YOU KNOW: that when you create an environment where it's acceptable and even expected to gang up on the people you dislike and their art that you are BEING RANCID? that you're ruining fandom culture for everyone by creating an environment of fear?

DID YOU KNOW: that pounding feeling in your heart right now, the anxiety in your stomach when you open any inbox and find the number of messages in them WILL GO AWAY when you grow up, take responsibility for behaving really inappropriately, and take some time to think about why you're lashing out at strangers on the internet about PENIS SIZE?

DID YOU KNOW: 20k words of hate fanfic is basically fanfic and a sign of being A MEGA ULTRA CRINGE HATER

Did you know: it's more fun to create out of love and joy? that fandom is about sharing something you like with others who like it? that it's not a space to spray shit like a gassy hippo and ruin everyone's good time?

ONLY YOU: can take some time to reflect on YOUR BEHAVIOUR! Only you can find the joy within yourself and chase out the lame stank ass hater.

Go for a walk and name five bugs you see.

god bless, namaste, llap

why are you acting like im denying any of this. why are you acting like you know anything about what i do or how i feel outside of this one instance. why are you acting like i named the fics i dont like or that theyre unique in any way outside of trends that are common in literally every fandom. why do you act like ive never expressed frustration with how gideon and others are written on my blog. why are you acting like feeling upset or nervous when i see someone mad at me is irrational when i understand they have a reason to. i havent told anyone theyre being unreasonable or acted like they should just move on

i cant stop you from feeling like this. i dont want to. but there is literally nothing that can be done. ive explained it fifteen times at this point either you like it or you dont. and the fandom already had hostile people in it- i saw people sending rude anons and talking about a good friend of mine on twitter because it didnt like their ship and called it weird after specifically being asked about it. and as for the 20k thing. it doesnt take me that long to write. i write very long things this felt incredibly brief to me because my perspective is skewed and i wanted to write a complete story even outside of the critical element

[m0th-t33th]

hello i would like to inquire as to the nature of this detective barclay 🍝

IM SO GLAD IM ABOUT TO GET ANNOYING HOLD ON

have to put a cut because i got rambly LOL

okay so like hes only like halfway there to being done but hes taken up all of my mind lately.

detective (inspector) samuel barclay. hes like around mid to late 40s? give or take? and PERPETUALLY tired. hes the main detective at his precinct and fucking hates the job, but the only reason he stays is because the guy who would take his position is this like disgusting, very corrupt cop who no one will fire. (havent got a name for that guy yet lol rip bozo) barclay is working on finding a way to fire him though, so he can then fucking Get Out Of There.

he also has an ex wife, who he is still like kind of deeply in love with lol, but she moved on wayyyy before the divorce even happened. they got married when they were around 20 or so? and barclay had just joined the police force which strained their marriage and they ended up very distanced and effectively werent married anymore, so the ex wife ended up cheating on barclay, which fucking ruined him - he doesnt blame her for it, though. they also had a daughter - maya. she was around ten when the divorce went through and she never knew the reason why - they hid it from her, felt she didnt need to know.

she ended up living with her mother because of barclays job - which also crushed him and by this point he was starting to hate the job, but he was on a big case at the time (murder thing) and couldnt quit so Whatever.

he DID, however, end up taking their family pet - a cat named detective - because the wife didnt really like the poor thing, really only got it for the daughter & also just generally didnt have the time and money to care for it and the daughter with the divorce.

so hes alone and just has a stupid, huge fluffy cat named detective. moved away from [wherever. edinburgh, maybe.] and transferred to another precinct in [wherever. a kind of small-ish town, havent got a name yet lol.] and ended up getting promoted to DI as well, and he was like 'fucking hell ok im stuck here for another year at least' because of the promotion - now, you may be asking why he didnt just give up the job then when he had the chance? because he did NOT have enough money to move and get a house AND take care of both himself and the cat, and he refused to get rid of the cat. so hes once again forced to take on a job that effectively ruined his life.

he ends up getting the title of Asshole Cop in the precinct, because hes very blunt and exhausted and generally is just kind of rude to everyone there - he doesnt try make friends. his (work) partner is a very nice woman, [first name i havent came up with] evans. she puts up with ALLLL of his shit, and kind of ends up his sort of friend, too. shes the only one who likes him.

Corrupt Guy got transferred from america, and brought along HIS (work) partner, max who hes kind of very abusive towards. barclay fucking hates his guts and desperately wants to like. .. save max, basically, because max is like very early 20s and barclay is jsut like. 'fuck man hes just a kid.' so thats his Mission for now.

max is kind of terrified of barclay, though, because hes a timid texas(?) boy and barclay is this grumpy old scottish bloke who he cant understand sometimes and usually ends up assuming barclays pissed at him (due to the trauma).

evans finds this fucking hilarious, btw.

anyway. eventually, barclay accidentally kind of adopts a stray dog. it showed up at his door one day and he felt bad for it so he fed it, and it followed him to work, sat outside his work all fucking dayand then followed him home again. rinse and repeat for a few days and evans mentions it to barclay and hes just like 'i dont fucking know who this dog is it keeps following me.' and evans stares at him because fuck, how is he so stupid and tells him he has a dog now. he names the dog, dog. very creative, of course.

he also reconnects with his daughter, shes now sixteen or so and is very queer (a lesbian, she/they) and now barclay is trying his hardest to be a supportive father. she ends up requestiing to live with him and everything goes well, so now every weekend he has to put up with his daughter having sleepovers with their girlfriend and he kicks them to the living room because, 'there will be no funny business going on in my home' and maya thinks hes soooo cringe, and in the mornings he TOTALLY embarrasses her via wearing some fuckass loser pyjamas (think like, those stupid gamer pyjamas for boys but instead of gamer its cop related. they were gifts from evans) and its very stupid and sweet

also when maya explained their gender thing, barclay had a Moment of 'hang on. most people think like that.' but he did NOT speak this and just nodded along to maya explaining and told her he loves them no matter what. barclay promptly forgets that gender thing of his own and never thinks about it again (think that one meme thats like 'i might be nonbinary but i have a job so i dont care about that rn' hes like that)

so now with a queer daughter, an old fluffy cat and a scruffy dog hes once again forced to face his stupid job that he hates. Corrupt Guy is very homophobic also, and once barclay realises that his drive to fucking get that guy fired is up to 1000 because 'my daughters queer and im not having her live in a town where the police is ran by a bigot' so hes stuck in this job until that asshole gets fired.

with his new drive of trying to make the station better, though, he tries to befriend some of the constibles and such. it does NOT go well, however, and he ends up sending one of them into a panic attack (he doesnt fucking know how.) (he accidentally gave them a death glare thinking he was being nice.) later evans takes the absolute piss out of him because 'christ, barclay, how do you even manage that??'

he does not try to befriend anyone after that.

maya also ended up taking him to a pride parade once and he was VERY nervous about it. he did end up realising hes bisexual from it, though.

uhm. i think thats it so far for where hes at? this s very long and idk if it makes sense, sorry. but i like this guy a lot hes stupid. he despises being a cop but he wants to try make the force Better before he leaves it forever. he would feel awful if he left it in the state its in currently, especially because he has a daughter to protect and knows first hand how fucked the force is right now.

yea 👍

[inevitablestars]

hehehehehehehhe <— me cackling evilly while rubbing my hands together

sirius pls for the ask game<3

oh so you want me to yap

How I feel about this character

.... say it with me: INSANE ABOUT SIRIUS. have been thinking about sirius since i was a small child and i just never stopped??? attached myself to him like a stray dog and i cant let go. very very very normal as you can see. ill be thinking about sirius for the rest of my life i fear. sirius is just so complex and i want to root around in his head for hours. i could find something new every time i do. also no matter what fic i am writing i am inside of sirius' head it might not be his pov but i am in there and know how he would react to everything.

and like. there's so much there!!! his family the prank the marauders harry azkaban like the possibilities are endless. and because of all of the previous pieces (and more) or any combination of them like thats one fucked up little guy and it only makes me love sirius more

they are in my pocket and will be there for the rest of time

All the people I ship romantically with this character

the obvious, remus. can't go wrong there. put them in any situation and it will work. literally any.

and heres the thing, i don't actively read or seek out any other sirius ships but like... now that im being asked.... i could be convinced of others. give me a good and compelling story and i could be interested. some that fit in this category are: james, lily, wolfstarbucks, peter, kingsley, marlene. have i read most of those? no i have not, but if someone im friends with wrote any of them yeah id give it a shot. nothing replaces wolfstar tho nothing can

My non-romantic OTP for this character

regulus. i think thats obvious (<- guy who has never shut up about the black brothers) whether they are close and have a good relationship or havent spoken in a decade im gonna love it. they love each other more than anything else and soemtimes that drives them apart but sometimes it doesnt and god i will explode if i think about them for too logn it causes me phsyical pain

also the rest of the black family. in order of how insane they make me after regulus: bellatrix (she literally killed him what do you want me to say), andromeda, narcissa, walburga, everyone else

outside of the family though, james and lily. easy.

My unpopular opinion about this character

sirius can do no wrong. idc!!!!!!!!! hes never done a single thing wrong in his life. like yeah hes stupid sometiems but thats my stupid guy :( hes trying his best hes fucked up and has been since he was born its not his fault

also just like why is there discourse about his appearance. i dont see characters in my head but like idc if hes tall or not or if theyre whatever gender. sirius is hot and also a little guy.

also also he's smart. really fucking smart. he just doesnt always care so it comes off like hes not. and like he wants it to seem like hes cool and has his shit together but he is losing his mind all the time

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

that he and regulus got to reunite :( or that he didn't die. that would be lovely. or if you know his name was cleared and he got to actually take harry in like he wanted to that would be so so cool for everyone involved

[astrallouis]

Question for Miles is a moron, what do you think the throat spray actually was? Do you think he actually thought it was covid protection? Do you think he knew it was nothing and just used his image to lie to his friends to get what he wanted?

GREAT fuckin question. i havent thought on it too much since id mostly seen it from the filmmaking perspective of acknowledging covid in-universe without the everything that came with early covid and no vaccines yet but now u have me thinking.

(this got so long so im gonna put it under the cut oops)

first i wanna say im really mostly talking out of my ass since that scene was the last concrete point abt covid we really have outside of mentions like why miles has the mona lisa lmaooo anyway:

like i said miles really is a moron. everything he takes credit for he either hires someone for, steals their work, or lets them interpret his bullshit (like lionel w the faxes). so i think theres a couple possibilities.

he almost definitely went to someone to develop the throat spray, and its possible he actually asked or expected it to be Real and actually protective. but it being so early in the pandemic and over a year before the irl vaccine wld come out they probably told him its not possible. and theres the point where he could have done a couple things.

he could have 1) pushed whoever to just make it work like we see so many bosses and rich assholes like to do and it IS actually protective [very unlikely but we REALLY dont know much about what happens after the movie covid wise and how far rian johnson changes reality here]

b) done the above and whoever he hired lies to him and says it works when it doesnt, and he believes it works like you mentioned [more likely, but thats putting a moral decision on a person i made up two paragraphs ago lol]

iii) they told him it wasnt possible and he just told them to make a placebo instead and knows its fake like you said, using his image as a genius to manipulate his friends [most likely in my opinion, given everything else he does]

i really do think the last one is what happened. the efficient man doesnt answer blanc's question about what the spray is. all he does is say “youre good,” put the little slap bracelet on blanc, and move on. and we dont know much of miles' actual opinions on masks and covid iirc, besides being friends with both ppl like lionel who properly masks up and asks for elbows instead of a hug from birdie, and with duke who doesnt wear one at all and is. ukno. him. so theres that

all of this to say. miles bron really is just an entitled asshole who thinks he makes change when he doesnt and doesnt care abt consequences. i personally think he actively knows the spray didnt do shit but couldnt stand the idea of going a year without getting his ego stroked by those shitheads and would do anything he “could” to make it happen. this is also the same guy who just sent the 50 people it takes to run the island “home” in the middle of the pandemic which has implications about commuting and pods i dont even want to go NEAR since this is already too long.

tldr: hes a moron AND a manipulating and gaslighting bitch. the spray was probably just saline or whatever and he knew it. shithead

[blogblogbloggittyblog]

may 11-14, 2022

im gonna try to write about my feelings again because maybe thatll make me feel less like shit all the fucking time. i dont even understand why im so upset about this. like. i think its cuz i romanticized the shit out of him and let myself believe that he liked me and i kinda allowed myself to be vulnerable around him and that he was there when me and noah broke up so he like kinda helped me a lot that night and idk he is rly nice and maybe i was literally in love with him or still am. and maybe the problem is that i realized how shitty that i am that he couldn’t even wanna be friends with me. maybe im such a selfish manipulative bitch that even he couldnt handle it. and i thought that he liked me and maybe that made me feel good about myself. but also i felt like shit because i fucking cheated on noah basically. and he told me i deserved better and i thought he would be the better one but he had a girlfriend and that already made me feel like shit and that time we kissed it was the most pathetic thing ive ever done because it was bad. it was bad and he thinks im pathetic and idk how to stop it i think the root issue is that i think that he thinks im a pathetic stupid idiot bitch liar. and maybe i am. god i hate him but i have no right to because all ive heard is good things about him. god. what the fuck. i need to move on from this but i quite literally dont know how to do that without getting some sort of closure but also THATS SO FUCKING STUPID BECAUSE U DIDNT DO ANYTHING AND HE DOESNT OWE U ANYTHING god.

-----

think the main issue is that im not a good person and i hate people who are better than me and i guess that makes me even worse. like i hate cameron because she’s quite literally perfect. and it makes me fucking hate myself. shes so pretty and confident and smart and articulate and talented and she has all that i want rly. i saw her and thomas adams today and it literally made me wanna die. im never gonna have that. no matter how much i delude myself into thinking that im this nice hot smart person. no one has ever wanted me for more than a year. if that. i hate myself. i genuinely can’t think of one thing i like about myself. because im not good at school. im not good at art, i havent made a single decent thing in like half a year, i dont do anything outside of school, im ugly, and not skinny, and a liar and im not a good daughter. i hate myself. i think i like being in relationships because then the person can fall in love with some weird fake version of me and i can believe that maybe im half-decent. harry is just another example of how i cant maintain relationships that i care abt. i dont even think i have any genuine friends. im pretty sure they all dislike me severely. god. i. suck.

-----

im literally in love w him or smth because he’s so nice and i want him to fucking like me too i wish he did how do i get him to like me but also i want noah back because it was so much easier and i could just love him and he loved me and it wasn’t turbulent and weird. and dustin is nice but that’s abt it. i like him but that’s all there is to it and i feel bad for like asking him on a date cuz fuck. but harry is different because he doesn’t even like me lnao and i want him to like me so bad i want him to be in love with me and go out w me and be my fucking bf and it’s so stupid and pathetic but i like him sm

-----

impermanence of life it’s funny how i really thought we were gonna be together for a long time and how i thought i’d love him for so long not just him but seb too like i thkught she was it like that was the end and it’s so scary how blinding and deceiving and deluding it is to be in love or at least think that u are. even when i tried to be so so so overly pessimistic and realistic with noah i still rly thkught we’d be together for at least a couple years i mean im glad we didn’t cuz like then it’d be even fucking harder to get over it but yeah and i loved him i loved him so much and he made me light up and he loved me too and he also wanted to be with me and that somehow makes it even worse the fact that it’s a mutual temporary affliction jt sucks

-----

and like it’s so fuckinf scary how in love i was even with noah like so blindly in love or maybe it was good and i just don’t remember i wonder if there’s another universe where we’re still together . i don’t wanna be in it because i know we could both find someone who fits with us better but god it sucks when someone loves you so much and makes you feel so good but then they slip away even if they don’t want to

[mydogatemytampon]

somebody help I feel like shit- so basically I havent gone outside in two days and I feel really bad and Ive just been sleeping and scrolling and I feel terrible and also ive been telling myself to clean my room forever and I cant get around to it I dont think Ive even done anything today like I havnt even ate anything or drinken (drunken? idk) anything and im really sad and todays one of those days when i feel really ugly but im not doing naything to fix it and i kinda want to cry but i dont feel sad so theres reason to cry and this is a really long rant for no reason and also all the lights in my room are off and ive been laying in bed doing nothing so thats fun and my parents ar eout of town and tmr im going to the mall with a friend of mine but this friend told me they have a crush on me but i dont feel the sameso i dont know what to do and i dont know if i dont feel the same because recently ive been feeling things and also my mom sucks like so hard and this is a really long rant for no reason please im probably going to delete this

[igreu-simmons]

im so f**king tired of everything

the self help shit on social media is bullshit if you cant even utilize that stuff in your day to day life. Im so done with staying at home and doing absolutely nothing. I'm use to making new friends every year but the friends that I made last year were truly bad for me so I cut them off but now I am alone. I havent spoken to anyone in so long and I am literally losing it. Even writing a post like this feels like shouting in silence but atleast I get to publicly yell about it (stepping outside of my door and trying to yell will just get people to make weird looks at me).

My friend said one of the worst things you can do is introducing your friend group to a different friend group. I don't know how legitimately the friend who told me this was since I only met him online. I dont know if I am currently living in a day and age where making online friends should be normal but to me it is not. Anyways i heard him out cause he seemed like he was speaking with experience and expertise regarding this topic and he said that.... well honestly I dont remember what he said. I dont think he elaborated anymore on that but my imagination and overthinking skills kicked in to try to figure out why mixing friend groups would be so shit.

So, I looked at my specific circumstances. One friend group was this group of friends I met online during the covid online schooling year. Some of the guys I met from one of my classes introduced me to their old neighborhood friends a few months after and I started talking more and more to them. With the online

Explaining all of that was important because that is why I am alone today. Does a part of this state of being "alone" come with loneliness, yes, but I would like to thing that this is something that I am familiar with and something I just havent seen in a while. What the problem is is that I am feeling the most experimental and rebellious right now and I can't do anything about it. Yes I have been known to be kinda extroverted and loud, possibly even confident online when talking to random people, but whether that was a product of the lack of consequences of my actions and possibly tying the words I was saying to me as a person, its very possible and possibly true. I want to run and I want to fall. I want to do the things that I feel like I have been training my whole life to do and have mentally trained myself for to "slay". I dont even care if I have a childhood or teenagehood, me running will always be my teenagehood.

But again, I feel trapped. At this point its a waiting game where I just have to sit and suffer. Then, you might be asking, what is the point of sitting down and writing your complaints if they are going to go away soon? Its the fact that I have to sit and suffer through the wait in the first place. I have waited for many things in my life. Results to exams which I had studied for, results to exams which I hadn't studied for, the consequences to my mistakes whether it could've been fixed by eraser or by having better friends that I didnt feel peer pressured by. I have waited for so many things that were to be revealed in the next following hours or things that were in the distance future. But right now is the first time that I had felt like I was wasting my own time. My own time anxiety was compounded with the fact that my suffering was not just me learning to experience a different emotion for the sake of getting out of my comfort zone. My suffering was the bad choice that was presented to me when the good choice was also there right along. It was this summer when I started to feel like my life was truly in the my own hands and I could make something of it myself, and yet I was still stuck at home.

This could be a blessing. As much as I love being organized, maybe I was not to be trusted. Instead allowing myself to learn like how I wanted to, learning about life would cause there to be irreversable problems to my perfect suburban life. Really I had many things that the other kids had but I just wanted to do something on my own.

I would like to say that all of this is just in my head but in the same way that I feel the need to be shouting this in an online post and making a mark in physical space, this has been taking a physical toll on my body. I havent been able to eat properly and some days sleep properly in the past few days and plates of dinner I had tried to convince myself I would finish are laying in the room next to mine because they have officially started to smell. When your brain can't find a way to directly fight the thing it hates, it compensates by ruining something else that was doing fine in your life. I wish I could say that I am going to try to eat better by whats the point of fixing something if nothing is gonna change anyways?

**

this post is incomplete and shares the surface level of the thoughts that linger through my mind during this year's summer months. I will be doing my best to finish the thoughts that I have started in the near future

<igreu3

[magnoliamyrrh]

Ignore if to personal but how do you get Sade drugs to have trips with? So many things is tainted nowadays and you can't really trust the dealers

safe drugs? well yes you are right, it is an issue. this is a big reason why i dont do any pills or powders or anything like that, i wouldnt rly anyway bc the last thing i need is an addiction or to fuck up my brain, but you can't be sure today those things are real, pure, and not cut with god knows what - wayyyy too many cases of people dying. i personally would highly reccomend staying away from anything like that - ive had friends who did cocaine and molly and stopped bc they became too afraid that it wouldn't be pure or cut w fetenyl or shit. also met plenty of teenagers in psych wards who ended up there bc of "party pills" who ended up blacking out or having bad reactions. from what im getting, its very very hard to get any sort of pill, powder, etc which is pure nowadays, and its only getting worse. this is part of why i havent done acid in a long time either; technically theres a chance its not pure, you dont know who made it, and you dont rly know a proper dosage for it either - the dosage is an approximation and theres a chance its much higher than you think; its happened plenty of times w me. its not that id reccomend not doing acid - some ppl like it more than shrooms, and the first time i tripped i took acid bc its much cheaper than shrooms, and ive done it 7-10ish times - but rather, be aware that there is a bit of an added risk

shrooms & acid i used to get from my uni, its known to be a campus thats into psychadelics (old hippy town and all)- many grow them and they grow in the forests too naturally. they've been decriminilized, but selling them is still illegall. i used to know dealers through friends that i trusted and bought from before, and some of them i was friends w myself and knew what they were selling was fine bc they took it themselves. some of them were grown by said dealers and i considered this to be safe; others from what i know were bought and shipped from the dark web and yes, this is absolutely a risk to take - ive been lucky so far that in the,,, idk 40/50+ times ive done shrooms, i have yet to take anything which i had any suspicion was not pure. with shrooms its technically safer - you can see exactly what they are - but if someone wanted to be a real asshole they could technically put something on them, or cross contamination with some power or liquid could happen. personally, i have not seen this though, and outside of having the bad luck of accidents or coming across someone with pure malice, i dont understand why anyone would spike shrooms. i would reccoment always looking at them very well though, sniffing them, etc, and if you want to be extra safe, taking only a very small dosage of them at first to see if you have any weird reaction. ive also met drug dealers who only sell shrooms, acid, and weed, because they consider pills or hard drugs to be immoral and harmful to sell, and they consider themselves to be providing a important service by selling these things, and those ones i trust

rn i dont know anyone up here; i have a dealer down south who i know through friends, hes extended family with one of them and theyve known him for years on end, so i trust him. thats my source rn. id say this is the safest sort of dealer you can know - one who you have friends who can vouch for them and have used their stuff. but there is still always a risk with any dealer, and in any case that you dont grow and cultivate them yourself. if you or your friends know any weed dealer, id also say you can ask them if they sell shrooms, if they know anyone who does, or if they can get them for you

i wouldnt reccoment buying shit off of the internet or dark web from those you dont know- ive known people who have done it and gotten away with it, yes, but it is a risk - one of them also ended up getting severe paranoia that the cops would catch him and threw all the drugs he spend money on away ,,, so idk. its risky. could work out, ive heard of it working out, but its risky not only w the law (tho again know plenty who got away) and id say the chances of it being not pure increse compared to irl. if you have to buy off of the web, id reccomend buying spores and growing them yourself - worse that can happen then is you dont end up with shrooms but normal mushrooms or in some insane case poisonous mushrooms. i have heard plenty abt ppl buying spores online and growing them successfully. id say finding people on reddit or forums is safer quality wise than the dark web, legally i have no idea. i will also say from,,,,, personal experience i have shipped to friends within the state weed in the mail (much easier to detect than shrooms) and one time traveled with weed oil internationally and didnt get caught - so its definitely possible to get away with it, especially shrooms or spores or shroom capsules, if theyre properly packaged (it just kinda turns you into a bit of a nervous wreck)

theres also some other places - there is a "psychadelic church" in oakland california which is the only place in america "legally" allowed to give out shrooms; they claim its their religious freedom to do so. they did end up getting a fbi visit, not surprising since they operate in a weird gray area - but theyre still giving them out and most ppl i have heard say very good things abt them; consistent, safe, trustworthy etc. if youre in a surrounding state or cali and got the money, you could plan a visit and this would likely be a very safe way to aquire them; theres some other nice things to see in this area too, forests, national parks, the beaches, san francisco

if you live in a state (or country) which has legalized weed, you can also go to the weed fairs and festivals which happen at times and ask around - ive been told several times by plenty of ppl that this is one way to get in touch with someone; its not "on the face," its hush hush a bit, but ask around and you are likely to find something. if youre in america or europe in a place which hasnt legalized weed, and you've got the money, you could set up a trip to one of the places which has. if you're in europe as well and can amsterdam is probably the easiest bet of a place where you could find them

another option could be medical trials, if you live in a place which allows them. never done it myself and...... i dont know how much id reccomend tripping in a medical setting (i cant imagine it) but some have done it - youd also potentially get payed, and be part of the process of trying to destigmagize shrooms and acid and show their positive effects! you could also try, if they exist in your area, those who advertise themselves as doing shrooms therapy, being doctors or therapists and using shrooms as part of their practice, or shamans - dig online and you may find. this is how my aunt is currently getting shrooms rn, both for microdosing and for tripping. Illinois is or has legalized shrooms to treat mental illnesses, colorado has legalized shrooms, areas of cali have decriminilized them, from what i know theyre semi-legal in canad, and trials are happening in several places; this may be a way which may work too

[mapleshmaple]

,.,

[matamisin]

man makin me roll my eyes enough to see how ridiculous the back of my head is 🙄🙄🙄

[obsessive-ego]

Talking in you sleep

Musical beetlejuice x reader

Reader says Beetlejuice's name 3 times in their sleep, but hes already in their home

Sfw

Idk been thinking about this for ages

Just a small fic

It was an accident

It was no secret to anyone that you talk in your sleep, not full sentences, just a word or two, nothing too abnormal, you didn't know about this little quirk of yours until a certain foul mouthed undead demon wormed his way into your life, he was the one who told you.

...

"Ya know you chatter on in your sleep?" He'd  chuckle as if he found something truly embarrassing to bug you about.

"How'd you know? Am I that loud you can hear me in the livingroom?"

"Nah, I watch you sleep" he said it so plainly as if it wasnt super creepy.

The ghoul eventually upped his late night habits from watching you sleep, to sleeping in the same bed as you, he did this so often you stopped setting up the couch for him and just accepted your fate to be spooned every night by a creepy old dead guy who you may or may not have a crush on

...

The nights you've babbled in your sleep always brought on annoying mornings of beetlejuice teasing you, probably lying through his teeth over how you moan his name in you sleep to get you worked up for his own amusement, unfortunately you couldnt prove you didnt since your dreams never really stuck with you long after waking.

Hell with your late night chatter you even manged to summon beej once in your sleep, a night he was spending over at the Deetz, you manged to say his name 3 times in a row, spoken, unbroken, in your sleep, and boy was your face red when you woke up and saw the bastard in question sitting inches from your face with the widest shit eating grin you've ever seen on his face, that was an instance you couldnt deny saying his name in your sleep and dreaming about him, you missed him, of course you think about the demon when you two are apart, even the few days he's with the Deetz and the maitlands.

Tonight wasnt one of those nights, beetlejuice has spent the entire day glued to your side, chatting your ear off about all the scares he and lydia pulled in your absence, his stories always made you smile, the way he practically glowed green with excitement as he retold his showmanship to you.

The night went on with bad jokes and fun stories as the demon filled you in on all the fun you missed while you were doing boring adult breather things and how the two of you should mess with some unlucky breathers so he could show you how amazing he truly was, as if you needed proof that the ghoul was a ham who loved to show off.

As the two of you sat on the couch laughing away, forgetting the movie that basically became White noise to your conversation, a yawn escapes your lips

"Getting tired babes? Am I really that boring" the ghoul teased pinching you cheek

You groan and pull away "well, yeah, unlike you mister freeloader, I worked all day" you shrug before letting out another yawn

"Freeloader? Oh sugar, your words hurt" the ghoul fakes hurt, giving you an over exaggerated gasped face, with his hands over where a person's heart would be "I thought we had the mutual understanding that I was your trophy husband"

You give the demon a soft laugh "you wish-"

"Every night baby~" he purrs pink stripes slowly appearing in his hair

You freeze, it wasnt uncommon for beetlejuice to openly flirt with you, but that doesnt mean it didnt make you freeze up everytime, you werent exactly the type people lined up to date, nor were you very popular growing up, so the sudden and intense attention the demon gave you always made your heart pound.

"Uh, um, I think I'm gonna head to bed" you stammer before getting up "night beej" you mumble before disappearing into your bedroom.

The demon stifles a laugh, god slash satan you were a delight to get worked up, not to mention easy. He loved it, his favourite little breather was always so hot when they were an embarrassed mess.

The ghoul decides to finish the movie the two of you had on in the background, before heading to bed with you, he didn't need to sleep, just enjoyed being snuggled up to that soft warm body of yours, and it was more rewarding to sneak in after you were out cold, bed would be already warm, and with the added thrill of not wanting to wake you.

As the credits roll beetlejuice snaps his fingers and tv goes dark, the ghoul raises from the couch and gives a yawn and a long stretch as if he was exhausted. The demon makes his way to your room, standing outside your door he pauses at the sound of your voice

"Beetlejuice"

It was soft, barely audible, but herd it, guess you were still up, beetlejuice phases through your bedroom door, to be greeted by your sleeping form.

He stifled a chuckle, you were dreaming of him, tomorrow was gonna be great, the ghoul was already busy thinking about ways to poke fun at this in the morning, moaning out his name in you sleep? What kind of dream were you having babes? He could see your face now.

"Beetlejuice" you mumble again in a whisper

"Whoa there babes, you know the rule, one more time and I'm out" he whispers making his way to your bed.

"Beetlejuice" you sigh

"Y/N!" was the the only thing he had time to shout before vanishing.

His shout was enough to make wake you, but not enough to clue you in to what you just did, you grumble out a swear before rolling over and going back to sleep.

The next morning you wake up, a tad confused to not have a snoring dead guy weighing you down, normally on nights beetlejuice would stay over he'd slip into bed with you after you've fallen asleep, using your chest as a pillow.

You dont think much of it at first, heading to the kitchen to make some coffee before getting dressed, you did notice there was no beej there either, waiting for you kettle to boil you give your little home a quick sweep for the demon, nothing.

He's vanished to do his own thing before, he was a grown man, sometimes he'd duck out and mess with the neighbors in your apartment complex, but he would at least leave you a note or something.

You started to worry, what if something awful happened to him? Then it clicked, lydia must had summoned him away to hang out, that had to be it, and with that thought all dread left you so you could carry on with your day, since bj wasnt around you took the opportunity to get a few odds and ends done.

The day drags on into the late evening, you were enjoying the peace as you catch up on some reading.

Your phone rings, looking at the screen you see its lydia, that's odd, she normally texts you if anything

"Hello?"

"Y/n I need to ask beetlejuice something"

"Isnt he with you?"

"What? No-"

Dread returns to you chest, you havent seen him since last night, he left no note, he wasnt with lydia, did something awful happen? was he bored with you? You felt like you were going to be sick

"Y/n?"

"I gotta go" was all you could say before hanging up,

"Beetlejuice!"

Nothing

"Beetlejuice!"

Again nothing, he normally came after the second yell, anxiety for your dear friend make you since to your stomach in fear for the worst, you steady yourself and take a deep breath and say it for a third time

"Beetlejuice"

With a puff of green smoke there stood the ghoul, unfortunately sporting a purple hue

"Bee-"

"It took you that long to notice I was gone?"

"No, I-"

"Why did it take so long then? Enjoying your time without me?!" Red streaks began to show up amongst the purple

"I thought lydia summoned you back-"

"And you waited till now to check?!"

"I DIDNT WANT TO BOTHER THE TWO OF YOU" you yelled back, beetlejuice is taken abck by your volume, you take a deep breath "if I knew why you were gone I would have said something sooner, what happened?" You say calmly gently taking the demon's hand, red now fading away, though the purple stayed

"You sent me away, you said my name 3 times in your sleep and sent me back to the netherworld" he refused to look at you as if you did this on purpose to mess with him.

"Bee, I'm sorry, I would have never done that on purpose, i- i love having you around, and I, god, i miss you when you're not here, with me" now it was your turn to refuse eye contact, admitting such a cheesy thing, you wanted to just die, not that it would help.

The purple hue is quick to leave the ghoul's form in replacement with a much softer pink, you missed him, music to his ears.

"Sugar" beetlejuice grabs your chin and forces eye contact

You give him a soft smile seeing that he was no longer purple, but also when he pulls you into a rather over exaggerated dip and sloppy kiss "so how bout we make up for some lost time and you can make this little misunderstanding up to me, what do you say babes?~"

You only stutter and choke on your words as the demon spins you around

"Would you like to scare some delivery guy and watch a bad slasher?" You finally get out

The demon pauses for a moment, as if to think about this offer.

"Normally I'd be delighted honey, but I think you owe me~ how bout you have to sit on my lap the entire film~" he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively at you, you swallow the lump in your throat, this was gonna be a long night

Bonus

The two of you were snuggled together on the couch, Beetlejuice's arms were around your waist, his head on your shoulder, your bum on his lap.

"So babes, whatever you dreaming about last night?"

[irkenheretic]

Uhhh numbers 2 and 5 if they haven't been done

they have not!!! because of the way the google sheet is formatted, number 2 is actually the first character on the sheet, with row 1 being the column labels, so its real lucky you didnt wanna know number 1!!

anyway, number 2 is 777 himself!! heres where im gonna tell on myself a little and reveal that surprisingly large swathes of the plot has not been done yet. this is because i like to let the story flow on its own and see how the characters develop as i'm writing it, and i don't want to be married to a certain idea and realize that with the way the character's arc actually developed in-story, it won't work. or worse- not realize it and do it anyway and it turning out shit as a result. and besides, we're only on the prolouges! i have LOTS of time to hash out the meat of the story, but as it stands now, the farther away from the prolouges we get, the vauger it gets

i say all this because 777 is largely irrelevant until very deep into the story so theres not too much i can say about his role in the story because most of it just hasnt been set in stone yet, and what has been set in stone, is a spoiler!! i love doing this askmeme but i try to stay away from spoilers as best i can cause this is still a series that will be coming out and i dont wanna spoil everyones fun! anyone who sends numbers is clearly invested in the series if they care enough and i dont wanna punish that care by spoiling the fun

but!! what i can say about 777 is that he and zim are genuine friends- the comics have made a decision to make 777 only cooperate with zim because zim has his kids hostage, but considering thats a stupid fucking decision i will be ignoring it. 777 is also buddies with lard nar, although 777 isnt formally involved with the resisty due to yknow... being in prison. he does eventually get out of prison in the story though, and begins to take a more active role in the story after that ^^ he also knows lefy, and they used to be romantically involved, before 777 broke it off with him due to lefys lack of trust over certain things

also fun facts: i still havent decided on a name for 777, because every time i try to think of one, i just think of the name "sevince vinseven" from in short supply and i cant think of anyfuckingthings else

meanwhile number 5 is a lil guy named angie!! back on the oc train woo woo!!!!

angie is a mating facility drone which is exactly what it sounds like- he works at facilities where irkens go to fuck each other, which for pretty much all conformists, is just in the quest for a smeet and actually is only done in these facilities. pay is low, however, so angie offers an extra service in said facilities

he's a prostitute. there really isnt any nicer way to put it lmfao. escorts and the like are absolutely a thing in irken society, and specific escorts have specific niches- angie specifically caters to conformists. they hire him in his mating facility and mate there, too, technically having done everything "correctly" in irken society. it's not exactly uncommon for mating facility drones to offer this service for irkens who want to do their part wrt contributing a smeet, but cant get laid for whatever reason

however, angie has leeway to work outside his facility for one reason: he's a red eye. many conformists who want to mate outside of a mating facility dont want anyone to find out about it due to how taboo it is to mate for fun and not for a smeet, so the peace of mind that comes with having an infertile mate is something that is.... extremely valued

but here's the thing:

he's not infertile.

angie has a rare eye colorway called "flecked" eyes- the eye will primarily be a base color, with "eye-freckles" of a secondary color scattered over them. he has mainly purple eyes, with red flecks. due to the red-eye gene being not as dominant as in someone like, say, red, he didn't get hit as hard with the downsides of his genetic condition. so, for the most part, he doesn't really have any fertility issues. of course, things have gone wrong for him sometimes, but not nearly as much as red

this is where i need to mention that angie is a LAYER, he is not impregnating anyone based on false pretenses. he really only lets people think he's infertile so he has justification to charge a premium for his services- when he inevitably lays an egg, he lies and says he never caught the name of the fertilizer. his clients get the peace of mind that itll never come back to haunt them since, due to angie lying, the fertilizer is listed as "unknown" in the database, and angie gets fat stacks. everybody wins i guess? yeah fine ill admit, what angie does is incredibly dishonest but im gonna be real with you: its nowhere near the worst thing someone does in this fic. its not even the worst sex related thing someone does- if i had a nickel for a worse sex-related event that involves a red eye, id have two nickles. which isnt a lot but its weird that it happens twice

[hollyhomburg]

(warning: overly dramatic) part of me wants to write like- a fucking messy story. like messy as in the m/c is involved with all of the boys kind of messy. like- maybe she was jungkook’s childhood love who he lost touch with when he went to become an idol. and then one day she moves to seoul thinking he’s forgotten about her and thinks “better not bother him- he’s famous afterall” and ends up starting her own life without him thinking that their paths will never cross again. 

she hooks up with seokjin on accident one night without knowing who he is. it’s against his better judgement but he can’t help the fact that sometimes he gets riled up in the way that only a good fuck can settle. a few days afterwords she realizes who he was and decides against contacting him or answering his text messages. ( though she does respond when he writes “i guess you’ve figured out who i am- and in that case- i have to ask you to agree to this” and she’s not an asshole- so she signs the non-disclosure agreement which she sends back to him without comment). 

only a few days later she runs into jimin- or more correctly jimin runs into her getting harassed late at night by a few drunk men. he pretends to be her boyfriend. He’s wearing a mask and a bucket hat and glasses- and despite his height jimin is commanding enough to get them to back off. he ends up walking her home “how do i know you're not trying to walk me home so you can find out where i live?” 

“you’re new here right? dont you know how many cameras there are in seoul” 

“there aren't any cameras on my street” and so jimin sighs, pulls down his mask and turns to a billboard of his face (this one for vt cosmetics sitting outside a closed olive young). imitating his pose for a second before he can see understanding dawn on her face. “see? you really think im going to do something like that?” it’s not every day he lets himself be seen like this- but he has a feeling that for you it’s worth it. but it doesn't get near the reaction that he wanted. 

you curse low, crossing your arms over your chest.  “how the fuck is there another one” and though jimin responds with a ‘what?’ you dont answer. you keep walking, kicking a stone hard enough to hit the billboard. and jimin has to admit this is the first time he’s ever felt lacking in front of a woman. it’s electric and he can’t say he’s not drawn in. 

he walks you home- does not kiss the strange woman who he just met on the cheek even though you’re looking sleepy and soft and vulnerable. jimin is a gentleman. 

it’s not until weeks later that she actually does end up running into jungkook- and she’s shocked to find that their friendship and the pure chemistry they have is still there. they meet up for coffee after coffee and then- she meets the boys, and both seokjin and jimin just try to reign in their over imaginative hearts (and maybe their boners- maybe her and seokjin meet up in some forgotten corner of the company for a repeat meeting- during which seokjin confesses she’s the best fuck he’s ever had). 

everyone can feel the tension between you and jimin. and jimin is the first to confess that yeah- they did meet a few weeks back. and you both pretend you’re not blushing when hoseok teases “wahhhhh thats like a drama” jungkook stoic faced besides her. tugging on her earing and whining to leave. he wants her all to himself- not hat he’d ever admit that. and jungkook- jungkook wishes his heart didn't hurt the same way it had 10 years ago- wishes his schoolboy crush could have just stayed that. 

what's worse- is that Taehyung and yoongi have taken an immediate romantic interest in her. kind of having more of an adversarial situation where they both keep trying to one up the other. Yoongi takes her out on a boat to watch the sunrise in the middle of the ocean, doesn't care about holding her hand in front of the others. yoongi is so sweet and kind; cooks her dinner when she shows up at his house crying for whatever reason (it was jungkook- it’s always jungkook) and when she’s done he kisses the curry he made off of her lips and hands her a water saying playfully. “if you dont drink enough water you’ll run out of tears.” 

“Are you planning to make me cry min yoongi?”

“Only out of happiness hopefully.” 

and taehyung takes her to an amusement park in the middle of the night, so that it’s just them and a few people who follow to run the rides for them. he lets her take cute couple photos and always offers up his oversized jackets for her when she gets cold after riding a wet ride. and maybe she catches him staring at her translucent dress. lets him pull her into a corner of the amusement park and fuck her where anyone could hear or see. “are you sure yoongi could fuck you this good? or seokjin for that matter? don’t think i havent noticed the way he looks at you.” 

and jungkook- jungkook can’t say anything- because he always puts the others first. and namjoon- oh namjoon and you have an incredibly intellectual relationship. Staying up after you’ve all drank yourselves nearly to sleep, jimin curling up on the carpeted floor near you saying “dont walk home alone- wake me before you go and I’ll walk you.” jimin is always saying things like that to you. and getting all protective whenever one of their backup dancers or any other man at the company shows interest in her. 

you and namjoon talk about everything that night- philosophy- love- life- it comes so easy for you to talk with him. and when that night he confesses that he’s never fallen asleep in someone's arms you pat your shoulder and let him lie near you on the wide couch. your hand smoothing up and down his back. and when you wake up in the morning before everyone elce you pretend he hadn’t migrated near you enough that his cheek was up against your chest- and he pretends he doesn't want to record your heart beat and put it into a song so that he can have it to lul him to sleep always. meet up once every few weeks to go on walks together because you both share a love for nature. trips to gardens and parks that feel more like dates than anything.  

and hobi- hobi sees it all happening and tries to stay out of it. rationalizes it that there has to be someone to stay impartial and professional. but you end up becoming friends against his better judgement. you do your work in his studio because you like how he’s always playing music even if he’s not working on one of his own songs, and even then you have headphone and jhope watches you sway and bob your head to whatever you’re listening too. very few people have a sense for beat like you both do- and though you can’t dance- he can see the potential in it. he offers to teach you and you agree and of course you end up fucking in the practice room because hoseok just needed to show her how to move her hips right. 

only- yoongi hears the noises from the studio and goes to investigate, and he’d love it if he wasn’t hurt but he is. So he ignores her for a little while- because he wants to move on- he’s tired of being hurt by her. and then when she confronts him- somehow everyones there and jungkook misspeaks- says some pretty terrible shit that he immediately regrets and when she runs out of course jimn follows her. “jimin just leave” 

“no- not until i know you’re safe” she sighs but then gets angrier when he grabs her hand. 

“no- don’t- don’t do that”

 “do what?”

 “hold my hand unless you have any desire to keep me- to actually love me- then you don’t get to hold my hand” and they walk- jimin grabs her hand and she just sighs- so tired of being pulled 7 different directions. thinks jimin is just interested in sleeping with her- but he’s not- he just wants to love her. 

things get even worse when she and yoongi makeup- decide to try and stay friends, and then jungkook confesses to her and turns the whole thing upside down and someone sees her and namjoon out walking, his arm around her shoulders and suddenly dating rumors are floating around everywhere. and fuck- they’re all fighting. jungkook grabbing her arm “she was my friend first” 

“yeah but i was the one who was romantically interested in her” 

“guess again” 

“that doesn't count seokjin hyung- you guys just slept together that's not love” and before any of them have a chance to settle it out she speaks above all of them (maybe picking up a glass and dropping it to get them all to pay attention to her. “maybe if you stoped and wondered what it was that i wanted you all wouldn’t be pricks right now” and then she just- walks out. dodges their calls- ignores every message. until namjoon turns up at her door and asks her to come see them. everyone nervous before jungkook swallows. looking at her with shining eyes, the face of her first love. “we’ve decided, if you’re okay with it, then we think we can share.” 

(PSA; this fic idea is not free to use!)

[shivada-jade]

magical mischief (2)

hogwarts!au

character(s): diluc ➡ mentions: kaeya, sucrose, childe, venti, baal, diona warning(s): swearing <3

notes: it was supposed to be diluc, zhongli, and thoma but diluc's unexpectedly got longer than i hoped oOPS so i made a separate one for zhongli and thoma

part 1: kaeya, childe, albedo

gryffindor!

diluc

everyone knows of the gryffindor prefect. some people would mistake him as ravenclaw for being so studious; some people would mistake him for slytherin for being so closed off. in his first year of hogwarts, people often mistook him as hufflepuff for being friendly, overly polite, and outgoing. the hufflepuff mistake changed when he turned sixteen.

no one knows what happened to his sudden change of personality. no one but kaeya and a strange, childhood, ravenclaw friend that works with another even stranger ravenclaw.

sucrose pushes her glasses up, watching you create another explosion in her room.

you cough, wiping off the ashes from your face. the black smudges on your face don't go away. sucrose hands you a handkerchief and you gratefully accept it, finally getting the grime off.

"project sixty-two oh-eight is unsuccessful." the mint haired girl notes in a journal. "moving on to..."

you tilt your head, giving her a nod to go on but she stares at the space behind you. you turn and see kaeya, cracking open the door with a quiet knock. you frown, his uncharacteristic actions feel so weird. he usually just blasts open the door with a flick of his wand and sashays inside.

"kaeya?" you ask after apologizing to sucrose for interrupting her. "what's up?"

the slytherin clears his throat, opening the door more widely. "may i have a moment of your time? preferably not here, though."

he's so... formal. unlike himself.

you wave goodbye to sucrose and promise her to do another experiment next time then direct your attention back to the boy in front of you. "sure, outside?"

he nods. with a swish of his robes, he walks out. you note his posture is so unlike him. his strides are more rigid, less carefree. it's like a comparison from a beauty model to an uptight CEO.

he leads you right in a place where you can see the black lake. it's awfully farther than you expected. you thought he was going to lead to to the court yard, or at least the slytherin common room.

"kaeya, you're not acting like yourself." you comment.

"haha!" an airy laugh escapes from someone. you jolt, surprised from the unexpected guest. you feel two hands clamp your shoulders. "you're absolutely right, my dear."

you knit your brows, walking away from kaeya and... diluc. you slap a hand over your mouth. "wait, diluc- did you just laugh?!" did he just call you 'my dear' with a peppy tone

kaeya grumbles in displeasure. his arms cross while his brother leans on him with a carefree attitude.

you make an 'o' shape with your lips, piecing the clues together. "oh.. oh." you try to remain stoic and serious about the situation, seeing how uncomfy kaeya- no- how uncomfy diluc is.

you gasp out laughing, clutching your stomach. you crouch on the ground unable to control your laughs and look up to the brothers with tears in your eyes, "oh- please! you've switched bodies! how?!"

no wonder the slytherin had been acting all curt and polite. diluc in kaeya's body pinches the bridge of his nose. "the new first year did this," he starts to explain. "took one look at me and said, 'i will destroy the wine industry!' i don't even know how the kid knows of my family's business in the muggle world."

"placed a spell on us with weird words while having a quidditch practice match," kaeya finishes. "but really, who doesn't know of the winery? even the purest of purebloods know of it."

kaeya (still in diluc's body) looks at the red portion of his robes with a scrunched up nose. you're unable to tell if he hates how the robe feels on him. or if he hates wearing gryffindor's colours.

you hum, scratching your head. "you want me to undo the spell, right?"

"if it isn't a problem," diluc presses his lips together. with one glance at your unsure face, his shoulders droop. "you don't know how, do you..."

you smile sympathetically. "i'll try my best to undo it, but just in case, we need to find that first year, to the source itself"

kaeya raises his arms behind his now red hair, "great! it feels so weird to be seeing with both my eyes. or well, with both diluc eyes. the kid's name is diona. she's also in slytherin like me. diluc will lead you to her."

"what? why me," diluc asks.

"because you're the one who looks like me, duh! i cant go in the slytherin common room if i look like gryffindor prefect. just bring [y/n] with you. childe can also help-"

diluc glowers, "you still hang around that scum?"

"you still keep that vase?" kaeya throws sweet poison to diluc.

you chuckle nervously when you see them bring their wands out. "so, diona? let's find her."

kaeya raises a brow, and smirks. "toodles~! i dont want to spend another minute in this grump's body. that donna girl keeps trying to give me a pie- i dont want seven different pies." he wriggles his fingers to show his goodbye.

you shiver. it's so weird to see diluc- when you know diluc isn't actually diluc in his body. but his face keeps smiling and showing emotions with kaeya's soul inside. it's weird to not see only little quirks of his mouth or his typical sighs.

but really though, you could stare at kaeya's new face. it's strange seeing diluc with a scheming face: the one kaeya typically wears

"please at least try to not get into any trouble..." diluc purses his lips. "i'll try to act like you- you try to act like me."

you stare at diluc with owlish eyes. diluc? acting like kaeya?

it seems kaeya has the same reaction, because he freezes. luckily for him, he's quick witted, "oh? act like you?" he musters the grouchiest face and crosses his arms. "hello, i am diluc ragnvindr. i am a grouchy gryffindor. i hate kaeya. i hate lots of slytherins, especially the beautiful, gorgeous asshole named kaeya," he praises himself.

diluc fights the urge to throw him into the black lake. you laugh, dragging diluc away and leading him to where the slytherin common room is.

"i've only been here once, but i am acquainted with childe, so he can show us around." you bump his side playfully and stand outside the slytherin common room.

"CHILDE." you yell with your hands amplifying the noise.

"WHADDUP SHAWTY," you hear a shout from behind you.

you nod to diluc, encouraging him to somehow find a way to get the slytherin password from childe. you know he hates him, but you want to see dilucs words come true. you want to see how he acts as kaeya.

he lets out a shaky sigh and smiles so casually. the smile is so pretty, it hurts. it's a shame he doesn't do that with his own face.

childe beams seeing the two of you, "hey comrades! what are you all standing around for?" he prods around, eying diluc then snaps his fingers as if realizing something.

you wait a bit for diluc to say something, or act more, but it seems he's done his acting gig and goes straight to the point. "what's the password?"

you deadpan. childe's gonna question him now and he'd have to say he's actually dilu-

"yeah sure no problem! it's 'reckoning'"

diluc says the word to a blank wall and enters through the door. you squint your eyes and make a face at childe. "you're up to something, i know."

he shrugs and pushes you in after diluc. "tell diona i said hi."

...

you sit at the lounge, waiting for diluc to show up with diona. your brows crease, because diluc is right. childe knows something others don't. you don't recall telling childe you were trying to find diona.

you doubletake, seeing a hufflepuff drinking an absurd amount of butterbeer from who knows where. they hang their arms around a slender, purple haired slytherin who tries to push him off with disgust.

what is venti doing hanging out with the slytherin queen. he'll die-

"venti," you hiss, reaching out to try and let him live a bit longer.

he hiccups and waves you over. he 'whispers' to the slytherin next to him. oh he's in trouble now. "psst, baal. is that the one all the slytherins are talking about?" his whispers are shouts at this point.

the slytherins at the lounge freeze, hoping you havent caught on yet.

baal hits venti's head with a hand, "shut up. you're ruining the plan."

you snort seeing venti spill his drink on his clothes.

"but baal," venti downs what's left in his mug. "if that grumpy gryffindor wont confess to [y/n] then how on earth is the plan even going to work? he barely even talks to [y/n] these days because hee likes [y/n] too much." he says as if you're not in the room. he continues babbling even after baal kicks his shins, "kaeya's plan won't work if diona-"

oh shit so it's kaeya's plan and every slytherin is on it

baal drags venti out of the common room and throws him out and all the other slytherins hastily leave to their own rooms.

diluc coughs from behind you, now transformed to his normal self and with who you assume is diona. pink peppers his face while he tried to cover his face with his fiery hair. "um, i found diona. she swapped me back."

diona sticks her tongue out. "that ugly kaeya made a deal with me on something and i had to oblige! it's honestly so pathetic how you can't confess so deal or no deal: i had to do it, but the uglier bard ruined the whole plan so i turned you back."

diluc dusts imaginary dust off his cloak and grasps your hands. he looks down to his feet, still unsure of whether to do this or not. "well, you heard it all. it's a shame it couldn't be from me but-" he rambles. with other's he's confident, but with you he's a mess. "i hope you can accept my feelings. if not i understand, i'll go on with my day and you'll never have to see me."

he holds his breath, silently quivering with the lack of response you give. a hand lifts his chin up and he stares at your eyes, nervous.

you didn't say anything, but you smile and give his the warmest hug.

he knows the answer now.

he wraps his arms back, silently thanking kaeya for his idiotic plan. it's stupid, but it worked in the end.

BONUS!:

"KAEYA I WILL FUCKING MURDER YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS"

kaeya swirls a gold goblet with sparkling grape juice inside. he wolfishly grins and holds his cup up with a hand. "a toast for master diluc! for finally confessing, if people can even call it that."

he lowers it, placing it on his lips but never drinking it. he grins under the cup seeing diluc's wand in his hand flaming red.

"it's not even my fault." kaeya starts to explain his bullshit to diluc, "you can blame yourself. honestly, it gets tiring seeing you pine for so long and avoiding them like you weren't childhood friends with them."

the tips of diluc's ears turn red, not wanting to agree with his brother, but it was true. he was hopeless in the romantic department by himself. he can reject thousands and millions of people. he can have who ever he wants, but you aren't "whoever." you're the most special someone to him and that made him scared.

kaeya hands his drink to diluc, "do i get a thank you?"

diluc scoffs, yet accepts the drink. "thank you," he quietly mutters.

part 3: thoma, zhongli