#i havent been this happy in a long time <3< /div>
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Santa (me) has been very good this year!! (≧▽≦)
#kawaii#kawaii aesthetic#kawaii gamer girl#sanrio#hello kitty#giftz from mee#rilakkuma#cute shit#cute nintendo switch#cute controller#introvert#i havent been this happy in a long time <3#I GOT AN IPAD TOO#merry crimas to me
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everyone pls pat my head gently & sweetly i finally finished one of the (longer) books on my tbr 🫡
#only 200 pages ish but its a rlly big step for me ;;;#i havent read much at all on my own time since i started uni ……….#i NEED to get back into it bc ive realized that i only feel perfectly happy when literature is a part of my life#i dont think i could live without it#:’3#anyway !! gonna make a post abt the book in a sec 🫡#it was a rlly fun read !!!!!!#next up is ’tell me how long the train’s been gone’ by james baldwin :3c which is like ~400 pages#wish me luck !!!#ari noises ✩
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Jackie & Shauna (Yellowjackets, S01E10) "End of Beginning" by Djo
#yellowjackets#yellowjacketsedit#jackieshauna#tvedit#djoedit#i am not back this blog is not alive again i just got an insane random spur of inspo for this#i still havent watched s2 <3#i watched the first 3 eps but then the fandom got real mean to a comfort character so i stopped but perhaps i will try again#i have had 0 time i havent been here i havent been on the discord i have been a ghost and im sorry for that#at some point it had been so long since i existed in this fandom that showing up was too scary ksdjhsfd#and it will stay that way goodbye i love u all but i do not have the time or energy to stress over online stuff#anyway enjoy this i am actually very happy with it#gifs#**
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i want the next taob chapter to be done before halloween and im putting that here bc historically the only way i can kick myself into writing is when i have a public deadline haunting my every waking moment. WISH ME LUCK
#GODSPEED ETC#i havent even LOOKED at this next chapter which is bad even for me#like usually i'll post a chapter and then ride that high long enough to at least hash out the finer details of next chapter's plot#so it's ready for me to start writing as soon as i feel the urge#but not this time!!! tbh it's a weird chapter like im kinda stuck on what to do with it bc i know im not happy with my current plans#but i CANNOT BE FUCKED to do a sit-down plot hashing session so i just. havent#and now it's been five months oops <3#taob updates
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🐰🌿 for the ask game ^^
🐰 What do you think says the most about a person?
honestly the more i think about it, the more i genuinely believe that the best way to gauge someone's character is to see how they treat anyone that society deems acceptable to be treated badly. ie retail and food service workers, blue collar workers, and children/teenagers. in the case of kids, sometimes its even encouraged to treat them badly, so idk seeing how someone treats a kid they meet at the mall or the barista really says a lot about them as a person i think
🌿 Describe your favorite outfit.
ooh ok so i love dressing kinda emo/goth adjacent whenever i can so probably my favorite outfit ive ever put together is like. black jeans that are VERY ripped up, and my ripped black tights underneath those, and then a black t shirt with glittery silver skulls (lowest V neck i own and i love it), with a fishnet shirt under that. and then either my black leather jacket, my denim jacket with safety pin wings on the back, or a ripped up white cardigan that goes down to my calf. and then my dogtags, aro/ace rings, and black leather bracelet, and some pins i made by painting bottle caps and gluing safety pins to them <3
ask game :]
#i LOVE a good jacket. i have so many#the safety pin wing thing is one of myyyyy genuine favorite modifications ive ever made to a piece of clothing tbh.#i wanna do it to every jacket i own LMAO#but yea i havent been dressing like that for very long but it makes me so happy bc thats how ive always wanted to dress#but for one reason or another i wasnt able to for YEARS.#i do dread the fishnet tan tho <//////3 ive managed to avoid it so far but i know its only a matter of time#anyway TY <333#max
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I've been getting so many One Direction tiktoks since Liam died and thinking a lot about how the boys and I were both children when One Direction was a band. I've thought a lot about what Larry meant to me as a teenager, that it was a model for what I wanted love to feel and look like. I'd never seen anyone in love like that before or if I had, I hadn't known to pay attention. Before them I couldn't picture it for myself. I don't think I knew it was real.
At 16, I believed that what I was seeing was love or at least what I wanted love to look like, but never having had it, I couldn't be sure. It feels strange to be 28 now and so far on the other side of things, to see those videos again and feel the mirror image of that recognition - not my yearning for intimacy but knowing that in the intervening years I've had what I saw in those videos when I was young and still learning how to want. It did become real for me, almost exactly as I pictured it. And you wonder what happened to them, in the end.
#my boyfriend putting sailor song on our playlist and then me seeing like 3 sailor song larry videos#psychic damage for real#sensitive hearts logged on happy first day of scorpio season#y'all ever think about LOVE#anyway ive been taking liam's death very hard#i havent thought about how special one direction was - like /really/ thought#in a long time#ive had fandoms since that i've love love loved so much#and i think i forgot that nothing is actually like how i felt for them#as LCD soundsystem once said love is an astronaut it comes back but its never the same#and watching all the videos it does sort of feel like i can almost remember it#how it felt#anyway we had some good times didnt we as they say
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update stuff
because friday is my art posting day i've literally been in a conundrum about stuff... like not every commission that comes my way is some big bitch!!! and i kinda built a brand for awhile on posting my big beautiful catgirl on fridays. im slowly working through like. doing this stuff As A Job™ (which is insanely difficult believe me) while still being aware that im on a time limit because i'll be back at school in the fall...
but im almost through my queue! i'll be starting my last wips tomorrow and then probably reopening slots early on in the week! once im through this current queue honestly i'm probably gonna. not do stuff for a week or so as i take care of other stuff (i have a completely different job in ttrpg work, believe it or not).
the next batch of commission slots will be a bit pricier than the last and there'll be fewer, but its moreso because at my current rate its just not tenable! after i open slots again towards the end of this month, i'll probably open them one last time towards the latter half of august and that'll be it for the summer. i might take one or two here and there throughout the proceeding school year, but in all actuality im probably staring down the barrel of the most stressful one i've ever had.
ty to everyone who likes to come and look at my silly little drawings!!! getting to a stage in my life where it actually seems possible to subsist off of my commissions is really heartening, and i owe it to people who reblog and retweet and buy my services ;w;
happy fat girl friday night gay people!!!! im gonna keep drawing big bitches!!!!!!!!
#kakitalk#update post#as much as i enjoy drawing other people's characters its been grating on me for awhile now that i havent had time to draw my own#which i was looking forward to for summer!!! its a lot to go through 9 months of hell in academia#and then to inflict another 3 of intense work upon yourself#also figuring out rates and payment stuff and taxes... self-employment is scary and it makes my head hurt#ive had a few people ask at this point about a patreon??? which im totally open to#but i probably wouldnt be able to really futz around with it again until next year#the hell school which i cannot name because it is infamously litigious likes to work each student to the very literal brink of heart failur#so doing lots of actual Work™ that people pay me for is functionally impossible when im in class#that being said#i'm gonna graduate in like a year or so! i've got four quarters left#so about fall of *next* year i'll be taking my last classes for my bachelors#inbetween now and then i'll be working to do a number of things#INCLUDING setting up a patreon and a shop!#it'll be stuff i workshop in my free time probably but i'll do polls every now and again on stuff people would enjoy buying from me#nota fakename pinup calendar....#anyway these tags are an abyss at this point#happy fat girl friday gay people have a good one!!!!!#long post
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last few hours in boston :(
#purrs#conference tag#we literally just got here and now we have to go 😭💔 i havent rly felt as enriched by this conference as i have in the past (though there’s#still 2 more sessions to go to incl the closing plenary and we’re getting lunch in the station before the train ride home) but ive walked#around so much and have spent time with people i love and some people i miss. and have been on adventures i have been looking forward to for#a rly long time though i am kinda bummed i never made it down to fanueil square. but… idk what happiness feels like anymore but maybe for me#it’s just absence of misery and despair. or contented ness. i have gotten a little triggered from time to time these last few days and ive b#been lonely in my hotel room but MAN it has been nice to not be miserable and suffering and to take walks and to not go to every session (ev#even though i do feel bad abt it like i missed 2 plenaries and an afternoon concurrent session which is more than i usually miss) and to#be in this city which feels so much like brighton and so uncity like in some ways. it’s so charming and omg i went to harvard and it was#NOTHING like what i imagined it to be / feel like.. just a quaint artsy quirky town. and the rest of the places ive been have been like that#too. and people LIVE here every day!!!!! there’s a big beautiful world here both above ground and below!!!! and im gonna be late to#breakfast but… i just feel nourished and healed in a way i wasn’t expecting to. I haven’t been this far away from home in 3+ years and#it’s just been really nice being somewhere else and going on adventures and seeing things surviving. i miss my grandparents a lot and im sad#to not be visiting them and to be unable to visit them now lol but it’s just rly nice and special being here. im goingto miss it so much and#im trying to savor every second. i wish we had one more day here and im a little sad to be going home lol#* what i meant when talking about happiness earlier is that i think… i have been happy these last few days. for the first time in a really#really long one. and that’s nice. it’s good to be happy again. and good to be here
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nothin like having to spend my bday tomorrow doing a bunch of shit i dont rly wanna do :V
#ash.txt#starting off strong with my grandparents coming over to drop my card off#and stay for an undetermined amount of time while asking me invasive questions about my future#then its going out to town for dinner with my parents while park life is starting this weekend so its gonna be rammed#THEN its having to go to this degree show thing at 3 to get set up#and is then lasting from 5pm to 9pm#with zero time for me to get food#to do something to try and get a job in an industry i dont even know if i want to work in anymore#who the fuck made it so this degree show is a) so late in the day and b) from 5pm to 9pm what the actual fuck is that about#thats so fucking late and so long who even cares#id hoped i was gonna have some more stuff to bring to this between finishing uni and now#but ive been so fucking burnout and depressed i havent been able to make anything#HAPPY 26TH BDAY TO ME YAHOO#oh and also preempting the gifts and cards that show a complete lack of awareness of who i am as a person from my family#AND THE SUMMER GAMES FEST SHOW SUCKED AUGHHH
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okay so i did basically 4.5 years of design school to become an industrial designer which is just a fancy degree word for "I make consumer products and curate user experiences" or whatever
ANYWAY I'm staring at the sketch of L's bong and I know, I KNOW, so deeply it would be productive to sketch up more concepts and brain storm like I was schooled to, but my burn out brain is like >:(((((( NO BRAIN STORM. NO CONCEPTUALIZE. ONLY SKETCH!!
#qeyond sucks#i didnt get my bachelors cuz i dropped out a year before graduation cuz of burn out and covid making the course online (very hands on)#so while my classmates are graduating this month (SO PROUD OF THEM!!!) im here drawing Light Yagami's dump truck ass#and L lawliet worlds greatest detective blazed out his gourd yearning and longing#that being said despite sketching all the time in those 4.5 years I literally never got to draw for myself#so this is the first time in a long long long time ive drawn people#and im just really happy with how my skills are improving and im learning CSpaint and just#getting to interact with other people in the death note fandom is ALWAYS such a huge mood boost#im really really so happy yall are having fun with me <3#idk i havent been in a community besides being queer since like 2010 so its just really really nice#<3 <3 <3#anyway -_- might have to do concept page#BUT I WONT STRESS MYSELF OUT TRYING TO BE PROFESSIONAL AND GOOD ABOUT THE PERSPECTIVES#I WONT!!!! I ... I wont... ; _ ;#(profs are gonna show up and kill me for fucking up an ellipse)
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40 mil is the highest points i've had for gw ever tbh so i am proud of myself so far <3 also !! almost rank 175 >;D
anyways hi just small update/rambles uhm. i've been more productive w school but also school ew !!! and 6.3 is so fucking soon holy shit i am not ready at all & i hope this week i can finally start omori and/or p4g <33
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#still obsessed w p5. ALSO mcr music is so slay AND uh yeah that's mostly it. rlly obsessed w buncha kinds of rock music rn#i looooove rock <3 rock and orchestra are my favorite genres (i'm kinda into all kinds of music tho fr!) hehe <33#i love my fire team now tbh. like. nemone & athena together is perfect imo and i'm glad i realized that a long time ago already#but woa me w having both michael and percival is absolutely amazing hehe#arghhhhhhh ... i wna play nier vv badly but i need to wait for lune yeah ? but anyways in reincarnation i have all the automata characters#which i'm vv glad about >;)) 9s refused to come home months ago but now he has and heheheheh i love him#tbh it's so hard to manage my time now bcs on saturdays i'm busy and then sundays should be my rest but we often go out as rest ??#and i like it but also my gaming time and writing time and whatever time is lowkey a big Rest In Peace <//3#I LOV MY FRIENDS but i haven't properly talked to. quite literally ANYONE for a bit now i'm so sorry#unless they approach me first somewhere that isnt social media of any sort or i've seen them irl bcs of school or yk my family or class#ive fixed my sched quite a lot but also there's still a lot to improve !! by the end of january i hope that i'm happy w my sched then <3#okay small update OVER !! today was a pretty good day so far tbh uh. like bad shit happened but strangely i'm all okay !! <33#like uhh ive been a bit more active in class and actually reciting more! i am usually vv shy and only just comment my answers if ever#BUT YEAH !!! and there was smth that was supposed to happen and my class forgot so i reminded them. and we're like 30 in class#okay rambles OVER !! im anxious still to open my notifs sorry i cant explain why bcs idk how but yeah. uh. if you want to contact me#for anything IDK HOW YOU SHOULD TBH. SORRY. but yeah !!! probably ask for my sideblog for mutuals ??#but tbh i havent checked that in a bit too and just ramble sometimes. SORRY......
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nothing else fucking matters im never playing this game again
#not true actually! im playing tomorrow with my friends!#i feel so fucking vindicated though @$*()$( i cant lie i started tearing up a bit at the end cutscene#IVE BEEN GRINDING. FOR SO LONG.#i feel like i say it every time but im like sooooo pissed that completing the monster slayer goals has NO FANFARE AT ALL?#i went to talk to gil after claiming my last prize and he was like 'come talk to me once you have something to show' MOTHERFUCKER I KILLED#ALL OF THEM#no but im like soooo happy about reaching perfection though. its like kinda crazy bc i havent even completed my farm...#like im at the late game levels of finishing it but...#not even all my farm animals have gotten the golden animal crackers. not to mention my fish ponds#not all of my fruit trees are fully grown..#the list goes on. kinda crazy#my magic syrup farm in the quarry isnt finished either...#my sweep. to be quite honest#i did this spring year 4 i think now that i understand how to optimize 1.6 i could probably get this done by like summer/fall year 3
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The urge to go back downstairs to play rlcraft all night instead of sleeping is real
#the duck quacks#rlcraft brainrot is so real im using reddit of all apps to chat ab it more with people bc the tumblr fandom doesnt exist#ive gotten to lost cities a while ago and ive bwen having so much fun stealthing around and admiring the mobs#(from a healthy distance thank you)#while searching for the dragon ring#the dragon ring itself uhm. ive been at this for 2-3 days and i have a chest full with all the other rings but no dragon one yet sadge#still happy with fhe other rings. aiming for dwarf at the moment to complete the set and i hope ill stumble upon dragon among the way#also i found a bunch of the goodTM enchantments that i should put on my armor and weapons soon#but i havent yet bc. i dont wear armor in lost cities and fight sparingly (invis potions + fairy ring for the win) but when i have time to#grind for EXP... well oh boy#also u wanna update my house soon. ive been living in a villager outpost but ive been absolutely fearing the eruption event bc.#full dark oak/spruce with cobblestone accents + mob event that spawns mobs that turn cobblestone into lava#+ mobs that set stuff on fire + rlcraft fires spreading faster#well uhm#i already had substainsial damage from just one fireball from my OWN dragon +didnt realize it would shoot em automatically when they agrro#on a mob outside)#also i have a ton of pets and villagers and atufinsideand i dont want to risk em#i might just find a way to tuen those events off ngl. i dont wanna worry ab them and its my game anyways#anyways i rambled for so long im having brainrot innit
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QC MANAGER IS BACK IN TODAYYY I hope she's feeling better she's been off work for a couple weeks </3
#shes rly lovely i have a soft spot for her bc she did my first interview here#well 2nd interview the first was with hr. but first in person interview#and i help qc out sometimes so shes kind of my 2nd manager. adoptive boss#but yeah qc have been stretched rly thin lately and its not her fault at all for being ill of course but ik theyll be very happy shes back#the new hire was off ill for a week as well.. it was basically just the 2 lab techs and the h&s manager trying to do everything#and me.... i havent had much time to fit in extra assays for them recently but i try to make up buffers n substrates n stuff when i can#well thats not true i did 3 for them last week. but i havent had time this week cuz i had monday off..#aaanyway. 23 seconds.... all things we love will die......23 magic....if you can change your life....your tainted HEART my tainted LOVE#repent now... how many times.....as long as you live how many times the world will go around he was friend of.mine son of god !!!!#my blonde redhead brain parasite taking the keyboard sorry#OKAYYY titrations lets go#.diaries
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a bit excited for next season, i mean big run on barnacle and dime!!!! and new chirpy chips songs!! but god i fucking need a new kit for the splat dualies!!!!!!!!! squid research lab i am begging you!!!!! (AND ONE WITH A GOOD SUB AT LEAST) like genuinely thinking of using the new undercover brella at this point
#oh hello#long time no post#i think having this sideblog intimidates me in a weird way#anyways#ive been forced to explore so many new weapons#im a custom splatter shot junior main#i like the heavy splatling edit or whatever the fuck it is#i havent touch a daulie in months#years even#“um actually the basic splat dualies kit emulates the kensa splat dualies why arent you happy”#BECAUSE IT HAS FUCKING CRAB TANK THATS WHY#but yeah anyways#im level 18 in catalog =)#my ass hasnt been fucking playing#i was gonna post some recent screen shots but i do not feel like it ;3 so yeah#thats it thats the post
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YEAAAAH girlboss ibara is finally mine 😭💖
#you may say 'finally? theres still three days of the event left' and yeah true#but lets put it this way: i just got this card and i have 2.78 million event points LMAO#ive been making my merry 3/3/3/10 way through the map and finally cleared day 30#(okay some days i just did 3 bp on all songs of a day bc some of the missions make it so#you cant get a good enough score on the 4th song for the 10bp to be worth it.....)#i can finally autolive for the rest of the event except for the starry lives <333#i havent read the event story yet bc manually playing so many songs every day takes a lot of energy#so i can finally get to that!#hmmm also since theres 3 days left and only 222k more event points i need to get i can safely say#that as long as you have at least a copy of the bonus 4* and 3* cards and your cards are good enough#to get a score of over 3 million on songs of any color you can definitely get both of the 5 stars without dia#next time i want to get both of the 5 stars i should do it with no bonus to see how close you can get......#and guess what the next tour event is the antique market one so i obv do want both lol so there you go#if i can do it with less than 2k dia i will already be happy
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