#my ass hasnt been fucking playing

[neonseaslugs]

a bit excited for next season, i mean big run on barnacle and dime!!!! and new chirpy chips songs!! but god i fucking need a new kit for the splat dualies!!!!!!!!! squid research lab i am begging you!!!!! (AND ONE WITH A GOOD SUB AT LEAST) like genuinely thinking of using the new undercover brella at this point

[nexttothelamp]

....

[jakowskis]

.

[iceonneo]

𝙛/𝙘𝙠 𝙗𝙖𝙣 ; l.hc

haechan x fem! reader

in brief : "be honest you are doing this on purpose, aren't you?" "hmmmm... no." "no?" he chuckled. "nope." you whispered. haechan slid his hands under your thighs pulling you over his lap, straddling him.

"liar."

!! no dni's, read at ur own risk. general rating 18+

tw : swear words, smut, fingering, edging, dirty talk, nipple play

❦₊࿐

[ on text ] blue : haechan pink : fem reader

so i was thinking..

miss maam what are you thinking of this time

what if i put us on a sex ban you specifically haech i swear to god i cant feel my legs half the time

wow i take that back u rlly need to stop thinking sometimes where is this even coming from

coming from my vagina that hasnt breathed at ALL

right that same pussy thats wet for me every night.i wonder what happens to the breathing then

ur not making sense rn

wow my girlfriend hates me should i just go kms rn or what

hyuck pls im serious

oh yeah? alright i see how it is. lets see who lasts the longest because i can alr see you wet and on your knees for me and im not even hard

lol okayyyy

❦₊࿐

"this is ridiculous."

your fingers slid around the transparent vessel lifting it into the air. "nope, babe, it's for your own good."

"i don't think this hard ass untouched floating dick is of any fucking good." haechan huffed. he stood on the other side of the counter watching his girlfriend gulp down a glass of water with his hands on his hips.

currently, this was day 03 of the ban and lee haechan was on the verge of pulling his hair out and going full out insane.

you gulp the water down eyeing him for a few seconds before your gaze dropped to the bulge in his pants. a small smile cracked on your features as you snorted lightly.

the way he stood with his hands on his hips and a arrogant frustrated expression on his face with his nose flaring like some roadside auntie. a rather loud laugh escaped your lips this time, "what happened to me being the first to dip? hyuck, you're too cute."

"you say that one more time im going to come right here." he eyed you as you made your way towards him.

you reached him, quickly placing one of your palms on the side of his face. haechan sighed melting into your touch. he closed his eyes letting the weight of his head nestle into your hands.

you let your other arm drop down and roam. the surface of your knuckles brushed against his clothed boner making the boy suck in a deep breath. you watched his face. the way his eyes and brows contracted as you let your thumb brush against his balls, a little too harshly this time.

a small smile played on your lips. "baby, you said you weren't even gonna be hard."

"i swear to god please fist me right now." he said through slightly gritted teeth as he thrusted his groin towards your palm. desperate, needy, horny, sex blinded.

letting your fingers brush against his length once more you swiftly grabbed his right wrist instead.

haechan opened his eyes, a confused expression painted over his features. you lifted his hand that you were holding up. "use this."

❦₊࿐

the movie playing on the tv was where your attention was at, despite the boy snuggled beside and his hands thrown all over your body.

your focus on the screen disappearing slowly as haechan rubbed circles into your belly.

now was when realization hit how close the guy had gotten. from sitting adjacent to you over the single seat, sulking, to directly spawning beside you out of nowhere.

too lazy to even object, you just let him do as he wished.

"baby" he murmured into your ears. his voice sultry and velvety, tickling your ear lobes.

"hm?"

the boy sat up staring straight into your eyes, "im seriously not kidding. this shit is starting to hurt now." you sighed.

"it's hardly been two day-" "three." he corrected.

haechan pinched his brows fake exaggerating, "almost 72 hours without pussy oh theres no difference between me and a stranded fish on a desert right now ."

"what?" you chuckled into your palms, leaning against him ignoring his protests. your hair tickling his face but he didn't care, burying his head further into your nape.

"babe pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee" he whined into your ears, swing an arm around your ribs bringing you closer onto him as the other hand sneakily entered your sweatpants.

"haech, im too ti-"

words stumbled into each other and fell into a bottomless pit within you as you felt his middle finger dive into your core.

instead of a nag came out a moan as he joined his index finger along.

haechan left a trail of kisses on your neck as you leaned against him.

oh, fuck this damn ban.

your back was pressed against his chest, hardly any distance remaining. the two of his fingers rubbed against your cunt- not fast, but slow. slow and powerfully.

"mmh"

and your top was gone in no time.

"told ya." haechan smirked, his other arm advancing towards your bra as he didnt bother unhooking. he grabbed the fabric from the between pulling it down as your boobs popped out. before you know it, his fingers were over the nipples. kneading the flesh slowly, occasionally pinching the bud.

filthy: is a suitable word to describe the view.

practically sitting on only one of his thighs with his hands under your pants. your head dipped behind onto his shoulders. bra awkwardly hanging below the bouncing boobs that perked and shaked with every single sensation.

your moans were breaking with the fast friction against your clitoris and oh they were worthy enough to have the neighbors complaining. "uh- ummyeah yeah, yeah just like tha- oh fuck. ah- ah, baby you're too goodddo- oh!"

"you like this baby?" he smirked. "what was all about the ban now?" his fingers practically abused your shining bud, kneading it down with his fingers. "thats right, this pussy of yours is mine, just mine. im never gonna make you think of that shit ever again."

and there it was, that familiar feeling you yearned to feel. the knot that had formed in your abdomen was begging to snap.

"fuck, hy- uck, faster, baby please."

three fingers in.

at this point, you had lost control of your body. laying almost lifelessly against your boyfriend who fucked you stupid.

his warm hand groping your tit while his fingers toying with your nipple. on the other hand, well literally, the other hand was busy gliding across your perfectly wet and swollen folds. his fingers slowly tracing lower and lower until they met the entrance of your hole.

with a quick kiss on your neck, he inserted his fingers in as you gasped. he pulled them out quickly enough, not even letting you savor the feeling of it. your eyes turned wide, glancing back at him. a whiney call of his name rolled of your tongue.

he smirked lightly before turning you around. swiftly tossing your body against the couch as he climbed on top. both of his arms against your head and that arrogant smirk of his still visible on his face.

"what?" you chuckled, slightly amused by how he wouldn't stop making that face.

"what about the fuck ban?" he questioned.

you raised your brows, "hyuck, seriously?"

the boy retracted his arms and sat up on your groin. his arms folded against his chest while he gazed you down. the visible clothed boner of his was sitting above your hole and you bit your cheeks from inside refusing to let any sign of pleasure show.

"i mean," he made a thinking face, "you sounded pretty serious about it."

"oh yeah?" you snickered while he only nodded. propping yourself against your elbows you sighed.

"well, i guess you're right then." dragging one of your arms from over to your chest down to where the bra hanged, you gripped it, in an attempt to wear it back before the grip on your wrist stopped you.

"I'm kidding." haechan said, locking his gaze on yours noticing your raised brows. "you know i am."

a glint of the slightest ire flicking in your orbs and without a wait, his lips were on yours.

his weight completely dropped upon you. his pressed body against yours pushed out a moan from within. letting your fingers glide down from his nape to his scalp, feeling the heat of his mouth against yours and you couldn't wish to be anywhere else. every detail slowly etched in your mind as you counted down to when his tongue would swipe at your mouth, when his hands would meet your waist and when his sighs would start erupting. you knew him too good.

"ba- hby." he pulled out, drowsy eyes locked on yours. "you know, right?"

you pulled your fingers out of his locks that were now messy, locking them against his neck instead. "hm?"

"sex or no sex, i want you nevertheless. a few nights without feeling your pussy wouldn't mend my love for you, in any way. ever."

"yes sir." a smile spread against your lips as you held in a laugh. he looked way too cute right now.

"but right now, I've been watching you skip around this damn house half naked almost for the entire day." his gaze hardened before dropping down on the floor.

"like that-" he pointed with his eyes to where your short tank top lay, thrown away. "thats literally like 2 threads and the crappiest piece of fabric glued together and it covers nothing- fuck!"

at this point you couldn't hold it in inside as your boisterous laugh bubbled and erupted out of you, echoing almost. "hy- hyuck you're so-" and you were laughing again.

the boy only deadpanned at you from on top as your body vibrated beneath him from the laughter. "Im serious. my dick has been solid rock since the morning."

"be honest you were doing this on purpose, weren't you?" haechan asked with a brow raised and arms folded against his chest. he got off you, sitting on the couch staring at you who was wiping away the tears from laughter that threatened to spill. his mouth was quirked to a small cute smile right before his gaze dropped down to your boobs and the wet patch on your sweats. the tug in his dick almost sent him to mars.

you pulled your fingers against your cheeks, pretending to think. "hmmmm... no."

"no?" he chuckled.

"nope." you whispered.

haechan slid his hands under your thighs pulling you over his lap, straddling him.

"liar."

let's just say the night was long, the neighbors might or might not have knocked on your doors the next morning and oh, also, fuck this damn ban.

❦₊࿐

[haniebabes]

⋅˚₊‧ 𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅ - How seventeen likes to have sex with you

GENRE smut

PAIRING Seventeen x reader

S.Coups (에스쿱스)

He would want to fuck his babies in you

"Fuck baby." He groans as he thrust in your pussy holding onto your waist "Gonna have my babies, yeah?", "yes cheoliee" you would say as cheol fucks you hard, "gonna look so cute with my babies in your tummy, would have your tummy so big and plump"

Jeonghan(정한)

Sloppy sex!! He wont stop until he isnt almost passing out

Your brain started to go foggy as Jeonghan was still fucking you after so many rounds, the room was filled with heavy breathing and moans coming from you and jeonghan. "You can take one more round, right angel?" He always says one more round but it always happens to be more than that.

Joshua (조슈아)

He would be so loving when having sex, would praise you everytime! He would be so caring and loving☹️

As he thrust in you in a not so slow yet not so fast manner, "you are so pretty princess" he starts kissing you all over your body, "you look so pretty while being under me" he smiled at you as said that "tell me if you feel like im going too slow, hm?"

Jun (文俊辉)

Would DEFINITELY love being a sub to you (hes a switch yknow what im sayin?)

"You like being a toy, just for me to play with huh?" You say as you ride him painfully slow, "mhmm, yes Im your toy" he whines, you have been edging him for quite a while now, he started to get pouty and whiny, his cock was painfully hard, as his tip was flushed red. "Do you want to cum?" You ask, he nods frantically as he was craving the feeling of getting to cum for a while now. You eventually give in and let him cum.

Hoshi (호시)

Jealous sex, no explaination needed (POUTY AND SULKY HOSHI, HELLOOO?!)

"Didnt like the way that guy looked at you" he said with a stern voice but his faced had pout, he kept fucking you in a fast manner. He gave you a few spanks on the ass "your all mine, not for anyone to stare at, hmp"

Wonwoo (원우)

He LOVESSS when you cockwarm him, while playing then he will fuck you hard after

"You did so good cockwarming me back there baby" he says as he fucks his dick into you while your ontop of him as he holds your waist, "stayed so warm on me" he fucked you faster "w-wonwoo" you moan out "shhh, baby let me take care of you, as a token of appreciation for being so good for me"

Woozi (우지)

Sleepy/cuddle sex, yknow just imagine him coming home after a tiring day of him being in the recording room, and all he wants to do is to just fuck you

You and woozi were laid on the bed as his arms wrapped around your waist, as he started fucking you from behind, rubbing circles on your side, this was his way to relax after working the whole day, "missed you y/n", "I missed you too woozi"

Dk (이석민)

When you ride his face!!!

This all happened when you complimented his nose too much and he said "then sit on it" and now its been his go to thing to do with you. "Mhmp you taste so good" he said in a muffled tone, he says this after making you came twice with him eating you out, I mean who wouldnt cum, with his tongue going in and out of you and his nose hitting your clit.

Mingyu (민규)

THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS KINKY IN BED. Would explore new kinks with you

Today he wanted to try to edge you while your hands are tied. "Aww is my baby all pent up" he teased you as he goes in out of your hole but he doesnt let you cum. "Mingyu please let me cum" you plead. "Nuh uh not yet pretty, keep it in for a bit longer hm? Do it for me"

Minghao(徐明浩)

Will fuck you like he hasnt fucked you in ages, but in reality he literally has just fucked you yesterday, he would be so needyyyy

"I missed this pussy so much" he says as he pounds you, he lets out a moan out of pleasure, while you were under him legs sprawled out whimpering. He kissed you as he was gropping your breasts "You have no idea on what you do to me"

Seungkwan(승관)

HATE SEX WITH SEUNGKWAN?!?! I MEANNN

"Such a slut, huh?" He says as he thrust into you hard, "flirting with other men", "I-I wasnt flirting with him" you were telling the truth yet he still said "yeah right" with a chuckle at the end then he spanked your ass, it stinged so much you know its gonna leave a mark. But after all that he does the best after care for you

Vernon (버논)

He LOVES when you are vocal with him, would literally hate when you hold back your sounds

"You sound so good babyyy" he says as your moan fill the room, he always praises how nice you sound, hes the reason why your neighbors complain about you guys being loud. When you hold back your moan he literally punishes you by overstimulating you.

Dino (디노)

He freaky in bed, he might not look like it, but I promise he is. Fucks like his life depends on it

"Y-your pussy is so tight, oh my gosh" he says as he fucks you while hitting the right spots "f-fuck Dino, 'm gonna cum" you moan "shit baby me too", he thrust faster as hes getting close, until both of you came, but Dino kept thrusting in you "b-babe?" He doesnt answer you, you would literally feel his cock getting harder in your pussy.

Likes and reblogs are appreciated

@haniebabes work

[jhscdood]

i am not in the Fandom so idk if this has already been established, and it's been a while since i did a reread, but

(and i have a migraine so bear with me)

at the end of Much Ado About Nothing, the Prince still doesn't have a wife, and I think that is his narrative punishment for being a credulous little misogynist.

Benedick talks a big "i hate marriage" game for half the play but when it comes down to the wire, he chooses to believe the women over the accusers Every Time, Immediately. and in the end he gets a wife who is his equal in every way and theyre obvs going to argue their way to enduring happiness all their lives.

(the wife is not his reward in a dehumanizing, objectifying way -- just that he Did The Work to become a better person, whicj make Beatrice reassess him as a potential mate and go "Yeah Ok")

Claudio talks a big "I love marriage and Hero" game but he falls for it every time someone suggests Hero might maybe possibly have looked at another dude for half a second. But when he's proven wrong, he publicly repents and agrees to atone by marrying Leonato's "other niece." So he gets a wife, too, but one who is going to hold this shit over his head for the rest of their lives.

Don John plays all these games just to fuck with them because game playing is the only power he has left. He doesn't get a wife, but he doesn't care, so whatever. not getting something he never wanted is not exactly a huge problem for him.

The prince makes two marriage proposals over the course of the play. To Hero, who he then gives to Claudio. And to Beatrice, who turns him down flat. Like Claudio, he believes the accusations against Hero. Unlike tiny baby Claudio, the prince is a grown ass man who should have the brains and the political skills to see through the whole charade. but he fails to clock the manipulation because he'd rather hop on the opportunity to trash Hero. He eggs on Claudio thru his revenge scheme. When Benedick confronts the prince and Claudio over Hero's "death", tiny baby Claudio is the one who starts to have doubts and guilt whereas the prince doesnt change his attitude until Boraccio is like "Yeah I totally snowed you guys."

Does the prince do any repenting after that. like Claudio? No. Does he offer any atonement to Leonato? No. And so, the prince, who wants a wife, remains sans wife at the end of the play because he hasnt done any of the work to deserve one, and also because out of all the villains in the play, he's the biggest one.

thus ends my very migrainey thinky thoughts about the prince

[tyunzonlystar]

mentioning this in anon cus i get so shy typing things like this but the idea of big dick soobin gets me so bad omfg esp if he shoves his big fingers into ur mouth while he’s pounding deep inside you, telling you how good you take him and how you were made for his dick

bros at least packing 10 inches down there ALSO REMEMBER THAT ONE LIVE WHERE HE WAS MANSPREADING (sugar rush ride era i think) 🍓💋

TWW!!! Fem!reader, big dick!soobin, Slight breeding kink if you squint, tit sucking, pet names (pretty, good girl, princess, doll, slut), big dick (9-10 inches😭), penetration, vaginal sex

THIS ISNT PROOF READ BTW AND LET ME KNOW IF I MISSED ANYTHING!!!

word count: 688

Soobin walked through the door of your apartment and took his shoes off then sat next to you on the couch

“You okay pretty boy?” You asked him as you shuffled closer to him

“Mhm yeah just tired” soobin mumbled back

“Seriously Soob tell me whats wrong”

“This fucking hard-on has been pissing me off ever since you posted yourself in that slutty new outfit!” He said as his bucked his hips up to get more comfortable (hes now man spreading) 

“‘Nd you just called me pretty boy and wearing my top-“ 

You put a finger over his mouth to shut him up and straddled his lap. You removed your finger from his lips and replaced it with your lips now resulting in you two making out. Soobins hands were all over your ass and tits groping at the flesh while you let out small whimpers into his mouth. 

“C’mere princess”  He mumbles into your mouth before picking you up and carrying you to your shared bedroom and placing you on the bed as his big hands find the hem of your (his) top and lifts it over your head and latches his lips onto your left nipple while he plays with the other one. He then stops and looks up at you and kisses you before latching his lips onto your opposite nipple and playing with the one covered in his saliva.

“Mm soobie.. w-want you..”

“Impatient slut hm? So desperate for my cock” 

You just nod your head without saying anything as he undoes his trousers and throws them on the floor and taking his blaze and shirt off and piling it on the floor. His long thick fingers find their way to your white cotton panties and he rips them off you and takes his boxers off. Your eyes widen in shock even though you’ve seen his cock before and you’ve had it inside you. 

“Lay back pretty” 

You shuffle further back on the bed and he picks you up and flips you onto your stomach and from your muscle memory your back arched and had your ass in the air for him. 

“Good girl” 

You whimpered in response as he slowly pushed his length into your pussy

“Mm s-soobin… too m-much! T-too big!” You cry out tears pricking the corner of your eyes and he hasnt even entered you halfway yet!! 

“Its gonna be okay you can take it like you always do, hm?”

He entered you fully and you swore you could’ve cum on the spot.

“Ready?” 

“Mhm! Please!”

Soobin started thrusting in and out of your pretty pussy while gripping at your hips hard enough to make bruises as he slapped your ass. At this rate you couldnt keep your mouth shut, saying every cuss word under the sun, whimpering into the sheets, begging for more.

“You want more? Is my cock not enough?”

He muttered while grunting. You felt Soobin hit your g-spot repeatedly to the point you practically screamed his name. So Soobin did what he had to do.. he pulled you up by your hair now in a new position that felt even better than the others. You started whining again as he used one of his hands to make you bounce on his cock while his other hand gently pressed around your neck

“F-fuck! Soobin!! ‘m close!!” You whimpered loudly

“Shhh you loud girl” He whispered in your ear before he shoves 2 of his big fingers into your mouth. “Be a good girl and suck okay doll?” You obviously obeyed and sucked on the two of his fingers which quieted down your whimpers and moans

“Such a g-good fucking girl for me taking my cock nd your p-perfect pussy made for my cock hm? All mine yeah? Let me cum inside?” He grunts loudly as you just nod

“Mhm! All y-yours!! Please cum inside me bin!!” 

Soobin smirked as he done one last thrust up into your pussy and let his hot load into you pussy as you clench round him and squirt.

“Holy shit princess you have to do that again but on my face yeah?”

EEEEE I HOPE YOU LIKE IT!!! I TRIED MY HARDEST SINCE THIS IS MY FIRST DRABBLE??? OR IS IT TOO SHORT OR TOO LONG TO BE A DRABBLE😭

ALSO IM GUESSING YOU MEANT THIS SOOBIN

Feel free to reblog!!

[pumpkinsy0]

I need fluffy papercut hcs for my soul

dont we all,,,

•the have def done that thing where u share a milkshake, they aint have money for two so they shared one, curly jokingly drank out of both the straws at the same time, they were prolly blowin bubbles into it, but point is, they were doin it

•indirectly kissing is literally just their thing, i KNOW it, theyre always sharing stuff

•WHICH IS RARE ON CURLYS END HONESTLY, he fucking hates sharing, but that feeling “just goes away” when hes w pony

•to curly, pony is unironically partially like a mf w a propeller hat, licking their rainbow lollipop, just whimsical

•curly has that laugh that makes pony laugh even more, i feel like if u made curly laugh hard enough he either genuinely sounds like a hyena or like a cleanex bottle

•in gym class curly goes each on pony, notice how i aint say hes safe from curly tho???? thats bc hes NOT, curly just doesnt go too hard on pony and yknow it, considering thats curly??? thats a big accomplishment

•ponys the only person whos been in curlys room outside of tim and angela obviously

•pony likes drawing curly a lot, he feels like curly has a certain look to him thats rare to find in other ppl and he likes capturing that (he stares at curly during class to draw him)

•curly has a secret stash of snacks only pony knows about and can take from, angela knows about it tho she steals some, sometimes she needs a sweet lil treat

•they r that kinda couple would go on those roller coasters who take photos mid ride just to make some silly ass photos

•curly hates poems but pony did introduce him to gothic poetry and if he had to pick a type of poetry, he’d pick those

•pony lowkey smells like curly a lil bit now

•ponys the first and somewhat only non family person curly really really cares about, like ofc he cares for his friend and gang but its a different type of it

•i feel like if pony was to play w curlys hair, curly would thump his leg like a dog

•ponys literally the only person whos had a full on stay at the shepards house, tim and angela wouldnt dare do it w anyone else, shit even dally hasnt rlly stayed over at their house

[groovy-rat-man]

reasons i would or wouldnt date/marry the stardew marriage candidates

Alex - im playing as an afab farmer for like the first time and holy shit im surprised he hasnt smacked my ass and told me to smile more, hes getting better but also ive been feeding him cookies from his grandmothers trash can as recompense

Elliott (?) - hes a cool guy but also VERY gay and tbh i dont know if im a dude or not so im just gonna let him be, plus I think id rather be writing buds

Harvey - havent married him yet but I really want to one of these days, he seems like a sweetie!!

Sam (?) - I think hed make a cool roommate/bff but I just dont see him that way idk

Sebastian - just vibes, I kinda fuckin hate him a little bit

Shane - reminds me of my dad a little bit except younger, dont like it

Abigail (?) - I dont know why I dont like her, shes cool but idk

Emily - just not my type I guess, plus I 1) ship her with Clint (sue me) and 2) am dating her sister

Haley - god I love her so much, when I first started playing stardew I just fell head over heels for her man (also she looks like, acts like, and HAS THE SAME NAME as the first girl I ever had a crush on so ya know)

Leah (?) - mega lesbian, kinda in the same boat as Elliott except I would 100% date her like in real life so it's complicated

Maru (?) - fucking adore her but mostly platonicly I think, also I lowkey ship her with Penny

Penny (?) - shes real sweet and I do like her character but I dunno, also same thing as maru

Krobus - fuck yeah we love Krobus, queer platonic partners for live baby!!

[sadisthetic]

hi. this is my dnd character for toonkind dnd that i first made 7 years ago that ive recycled twice now because i wanted to finally play an ongoing campaign with him. for his third life, not only did i give him a design update, hes also has undergone a MAJOR overhaul in terms of personality and backstory tho i kept some bare basics the same (human ranger with urchin background who LOVES swords and knifes A LOT. and that he has an ambiguous age) the overhaul includes the isekai. and that hes a cunt now. but hes funnier now too lol.

im adding some more details and trivia about him under the readmore

so like if it isnt obvious the double isekai is meant to mirror the fact that i fucking played with him in 3 separate campaigns now. its part of him metatextually now lol. he was such a different guy tho. an EXTREMELY LOYAL guy. now hes significantly more selfish. and rude as hell. but hes not that to be mean or malicious. hes actually a pretty nice guy hes just extremely inconsiderate bc he prioritizes his own wellbeing most of the time. its how he had to grow up

copy pasting this tweet i wrote about him "blade at 15 was a guy that shouldve been playing halo while drinking monster but instead hes a guy stealing apples and eating mushrooms off tree bark. miraculously few instances of poisoning all things considered"

he wouldve been a fucking gamer otaku fr. he got isekaied in the mid 2000s and as a kid he fucking LOVED watching dragonball on saturday mornings. if he got to be a teen on earth, he would eventually found the anime and gaming subcommunities online BUT ALAS. he grew up trying to catch fish with his bare hands. or at least he did until he gave up quick and ate weeds.

also. despite the hardships. hes like. fine? somethings wrong with him. but its not trauma. he didnt mourn his parents much although its not like he couldve done anything with their freshly isekaied corpses when immediately hes being chased by fucking beasts. its okay they were like b-tier parents. (hes definitely not a normal person.)

he wandered the woods trying his best to survive alone and in spite of everything trying to kill him (including the shit he ate...) he ended up in a nearby(?) town and things got a bit easier after that. because he could fucking steal to eat real food now. he stayed in the woods on the outskirts of town bc no one showed grace to a thief and just dropped in every so often to swipe shit. steadily he learned forage (through sheer trial and error)

he was highkey a menace. but eventually in his late teens, a traveling party gave him an idea to like fucking. get a job. as something. he managed to make it work as a ranger/guide for hire

he fucking loves booze. he absolutely underage drank. when he could steal it. and later pay for it. and also even though he could pay for things as an adult, he still steals shit if he thinks he can get away w it (he has an absurdly (or at least pretty) high sleight of hand stat)

before he got isekai'd a second time, went through a CATASTROPHIC DIVORCE with an elf woman who he met in an expedition party who became enamored with him after he saved her life. the uh. fallout happened bc blade didnt realize (and still hasnt realized) that hes kinda aro (fundamentally did not understand her romantic intentions and thought she was just a friend wanted to hang out w him a lot. those were dates.) and his ex didnt realize how onesided it was bc she was so love with him. geez.

also. he was from arizona. hes half white half mexican. but with all the time spent not speaking spanish in a different fucking world, it made any spanish speaking skills he had atrophy to hell. it happens and it was bound to happen bc he was so young and had like no reason or opportunity to practice.

also he chose his name. he hated his lame ass name so much he was like "wait. i dont have to use it anymore." but he was 13 fucking years old. anyways he thought blade sounded cool for a name. knifedad happened later when he got his first knife. he still had a bad naming sense. he was 14.

also although his ethics are kinda wack, whats important to note is that he ultimately doesnt want anyone to like. die. its like his policy. save people that he can while trying his best to not die himself

he also has a soft spot for kids. whether hed bc a good dad is debatable but like. i think hed be a nice one

most important note: his longsword is named Darla, his dagger is named Samantha, the knife in his pack is named Nicky, and his newly acquired strange glowy sword is named lucia, and he wants a cool greatsword very very very fucking bad

i drew him in his under clothing also so that i could have a better sense for his body type when i designed his new outfit im adding it here too. he has a shitton of scars bc hes the type that pisses ppl off that they wanna shank him and also he routinely eats shit a lot. a lot of the scars in this sketch are pretty random except for one specific injury for a certain backstory event i have in mind

[single-malt-scotch]

Bdubs' speech patterns & quirks

i made a post a while back about Bdubs' typing habits and ya know what. ill be a little stupid obsessed and unhinged again and do this one. might be useful for fics.

been watching this man from day one and im trying to throw together everything i can in my head. he really hasnt changed that much if we arent considering a shift of humor and energy-- but i will regard it at certain points for clarity of how his speech is handled.

General speech pattern

Through time Bdubs has gained more energy in his voice, and more confidence in how he speaks as a person presenting in his videos. But he still has his quirks, quirks that have remained forever.

biggest one. There is a big habit of stuttering in some sense. Either on the same words with the intended phrase:

Example: "You-- you don't- you don't understand!"

or a phrase that is altered during the stutter:

Example: "Yeah but-- you-- I don't think you get it..."

They aren't the stutters people default to in most cases (no "y-yes" "i th-thought.." etc-- in *some* cases you can throw this in but i suggest the bigger ones and never make it too frequent).

Theyre long and very obviously, and make him take longer to get his words out. sometimes it cuts his train of thought and he stops his sentences, maybe even starts over entirely.

in addition to that, bdubs also cuts words in a way i think most people will- goin', gonna, thinkin' etc. however at times he will enunciate the whole word for effect (plays into his "exaggeration" described below)

With his awkward pacing and stumbling, there are times where he fumbles and might say something in a "weird" way. sometimes, it becomes purposeful! he'll keep doing it when its funny, but you can tell its more of a slip than on purpose at first. there are far too many examples of this, but its obvious that he picked up the funny way of saying 'hermitcraft' on purpose at a certain point, for example. this may be hard to get across in writing however and its not as important.

bdubs loves to exaggerate. personality wise, hes like this obviously. and it plays into how he talks. boisterous is the best word. dont be afraid to go hard on the exclamation points or question marks! "!!" and "??" may describe what you want when you need to imply more of his noise.

Exclamations, regarding swearing

Bdubs doesnt swear anymore, but its worth addressing it, in context to what... replaces it, in a sense. or if youre writing something based in the years when he did swear.

Lets get one thing straight. bdubs does not say fuck. like, even back when he swore. there may have been some very light instances of words slipping (the old video where he completely bleeped out his words may have likely had that) but it is not how he spoke on the regular.

bdubs' most used 'bad' words were "damn", not as often "ass". he used a lot of 'safe' words-- shoot, crap (crapper, directed at someone/thing), frick (fricker, directed at someone/thing), dang ('dang man'), freaking (this is exclaimed very strong when it comes up, as if he was saying "fucking". comment phrase "very freaking funny!")....

these are the most frequent choices. id say bdubs has the capability of more swears, but it would be a last resort/under extreme duress.

Other notable phrases

Some of these fall under 'exclamations' at times, but i wanted to address the phrases he says in response to things, one subject is what people like him say in place of things like "oh god". you can see this in some hermits too, but bdubs does not say "oh (my) god". there is no exclamation of "god" when he needs to say something like this.

some are more or less frequent in the overall timeline, but you will likely hear...

"judas priest!" "oh goodness!" "oh jeez/jeezer!" if there is any phrase regarding god its a sorta "dont use the lord's name in vain" situation. none of the "oh god" stuff.

in terms of other frequent phrases,

"Trying my heart out/off" pops up a lot, and it means that he is trying hard at something whilst also saying he is 'putting his whole heart into it'.

Older/less frequent these days:

the good ol 'pet names'. it is/was never a super frequent thing (that bdubs/etho ooge video was surprisingly frequent...) "sweetheart" is most likely, "baby" but not always in a 'pet name' way, just a casual word to throw out at nothing. might get a "darlin'" in there too. the instance of calling someone specific those things is not super common, but still important to note.

a final notable one is "boy", directed at others in a more like. jokingly stern way. "What are you doin' boy?" a direct aim at a person, perhaps in a (joking) accusatory way at times? (wanted to comment there was an early ooge instance where etho picked it up as well lol). and imo i saw this way more in the early days, less so now.

Conclusion

bdubs has a variety of expressions in his speech. generally very relaxed and sometimes even careless, hes not tryin to focus too hard on every word he speaks. which is only natural! imo i think his personality is what affects this more than anything. hes silly, extroverted, and acts first.

his 'loudness' and stutter is important and it can be hard to express through words. outside of the way you describe the way he tackled talking in fics, seriously dont be afraid to double those punctuation marks imo. definitely dont be afraid of those big 'stutters'!! its probably the most defining part of his voice imo. i hope this is useful and feel free to add on or ask about it!

[pasteloctoz]

Damihux

Christmas ass lookin colors

My favorite couple bc these beautiful specimens need more appreciations.

any trigger warnings will be seperated from the rest and put at the bottom (probably not too many, its just a precaution :])

Hux is pan n transmasc, Damien is queer.

Search up frederic chen on yt (love their content) the way they dress/do make up is how i imagine damien dresses especially after not talking to his mom as much (bc he doesnt feel the pressure of her looming over him anymore.) And ppl like gavin pushing him to try new things.

Hux does the thing that Nick does in Heartstopper. "I'm bi, not gay" but instead he says pan. Bc pan/bi representation is important!!!

Hux is African-American and his other mom is Puerto-Rican (is that how you spell it?) So he grew up with Puerto Rica culture. While Damien is Mexicana. Sometimes they'll use some random slang that they grew up with in their respective houshold and the other will be just- slightly confused as to what it means.

They have a cat named shrimp and huxley calls him their firstborn child. To which damien deems "stupid" or "dumb" while being so flushed hed practically be a working furnace

Hux looks at damien with that loveheart eye look where you just KNOW hes admiring his partner like theyre the only light in the world. When Damien notices he just asks, "....... what?....." while a bit flushed.

Huxley never had the money to get top surgery until after he graduated from Damn. His moms wanted to help pay but he insisted that they didn't have to worry about it.

Once he's gotten top surgery, Damien does nothing but worry and take care of him. They would be attached at the fuckin hip istg-

Hux's favorite game is Dark Souls and everytime Damien tries to play it he gets angry and eventually just ends up leaning on hux and watching him play.

Damien is a big fucking fan of the final fantasy games. But somehow the only time hes gotten Hux to play a game made by the studio is fucking kingdom hearts. (Nothing against kingdom hearts i love kingdom hearts)

Tw: Tabacco/Vape mentions, homophobia mentions, suggestive

If you find any of these triggering feel free to scroll past (it will be in small font like this), meanwhile have a picture of my dog :D

Damien is probably more likely to vape/smoke than hux bc of his anxiety. Hux would honestly be more of a clean lungs advocate (he doesn't judge ppl who use drugs though- its not his buisness).

Usually when ppl are being homophobic to the two, hux calms damien down but one time damien just grabbed hux by the cheeks and gave him a real sloppy kiss. Casually took hux's hand afterward and teasingly whispered "scared them off, didnt we?"

Like- we know hux is always gonna make the first move but you cant tell me there hasnt been atleast once where damien made hux so flushed roses were growing out of his locs.

[dual-fantasy]

duncan is simultaneously the funniest fucking guy and super tragic to me. i think hes The Worst Ever because its a way of acting out against his dad. funniest shit ever and devastating. Everything about duncney as a whole leaves me in hysterics and also clutching my chest crying punching holes into the walls. he is killer phoebe bridgers to me. can the killer in him tame the fire in (various romantic partners he swore were the one then broke up with 2 days later). or is there nothing left to do for them. hes sick of the chase but hes hungry for blood. and theres nothing he can do. hes a dog motif in a really specific street dog way you just have to understand. in a wolf way, even. but in a rabid stranded starving way. he is the only heartbreaker as well btw. he'll be the loser in this game he'll be the bad guy in the play. eric is a duncney song but in a way you would not expect. it is the duncney duncan pov song ever actually. she can come closer he'll let her hurt him how she chooses. this view of her of the top of her head makes him forgive her. her skin cries a soft weep like his. his price how about just a part of her cause he wants. shouldve been me is THE duncney/gwuncan song ever. courtney pov. when she saw the girl looked just like her and it broke her heart the lengths he went to have her to get to have her. cause she hasnt given him what he needs. he wanted her but couldnt reach her. so he went into his memory and relived all the ways he still wants her. shes sorry it shouldve been her. thought ive had in my head for over a year. its literally Them. a loving feeling is the aleduncan 90th breakup song. theyre compatible but only behind closed doors. they mean a lot to me actually jsut like . In General duncan and duncan ships by extension are mitskipilled. mitskimaxxing, even. GRAVE DOG!!!!

frrrr you're so real but if im going to comment on Duncan I need to confess something. Ive never finished watching action. ive gotten to like ep 20 I still have literally never finished it. I know that he has a lot of moments in there but I haven't finished it for some reason. I understand you but also I'm not as insane. feel free to keep screaming about him because I completely trust your opinion . I'll probably finish action soon because you are dragging me into the duncan hellhole. I love characters who are so silly and stupid and also absolutely devastating if you think about it too hard. literally peak characters.

dog motif but in the way that he was abandoned by everyone because they weren't aware he was actually a wolf. he keeps finding new homes but he gets kicked out after a day. he's rabid and scary and he's desperate for a secure home, but he can't admit that because it goes against his nature. everything hes ever known.

I love duncney too btw. Courtney is such an interesting character to me but I cannot put it into words. I love her though. absolutely love her. she's so complicated and nuanced. Courtney is for the intellectuals (joking). same with gwuncan.

also I'm insane about aleduncan. not to be kind of basic but they're everything to me. they can only be with eachother if they're alone. insane about them

I don't have any song recommendations bc school has been fucking my ass recently. moving to an online school while being tech illiterate is actually horrible </3 but your music taste is soooo good. actually top tier. real and genuinely incredible. he's mitskimaxxing, lushpilled, puberty2mogging. grave dog you're so real always

[desswright29]

This is a draft of what would’ve been a Shuriri story.

Riri walked home from a late shift at her job. Her body was tired, drained, and weathered. Life was never supposed to be like this. This demanding and taxing. All of that work and nothing to show for it. Here she was a prodigy working for pennies at a fucking gas station in bumble fuck Kansas. She’d bumped shoulders with the likes of the Princess of Wakanda. Studied at M.I.T and created one of the worlds most significant inventions. The invention that ruined everyone’s life. 

“Williams!”

Riri dropped her head. Trying to ignore the call, but footsteps approached fast, and as she tried to grab the door to the apartment building she was denied entry as a body slid infront of the door. 

“Mr. Pearson. I know-“

“ No. I know you and your mom better have my rent by the end of the week or your stuff is gonna be on the curb! I don’t want a conversation. I want my money. The two of you have run out of favors with me. Do you understand?”

Riri’s face bawled up angrily as she answered the old man. “Yea. Got it.” She pushed past him, sliding through the door and jogging up the stairs to apartment 3B; where she and her mother had resided for the past 3 years. 

Her mother sat on the couch and it appeared as though today their spirits were aligned. The air was thick with what felt like defeat.

“I don’t know what we’re gonna do, Ri.”  Riri’s mom, Ronnie, overwhelmed with the weight of this realization burst into tears. Riri stood helpless. She had nothing to give. No money. No comforting words. Nothing. She’d seen it all. All of the late nights with her mom falling asleep at the table. The silent weeping while she prayed over the bills. The times where even on her off days, that stubborn and inconsiderate boss of hers STILL managed to make her come in and work overtime with a pay rate that doesn’t even make ends meet in the slightest. 

Riri’s side hustle was  paying most of the bills, tutoring little rich kids in high end neighborhoods and fixing classics for their parents to leave in a garage untouched for another decade. She watched her mom dwindle into a former shell of herself, all because she was burned out. “Mama, this is bullshit!  It’s not fair we livin’ like this! You and pops always told me I’d be great! Do great things! Look where it got us! Look where we at ma!” 

“Baby this isn’t on you. You can’t bare this burden alone. We’re in this together. I’m getting ready to head out to work. I’ll talk to my boss and see if I can get an increase in pay.”

Riri rolled her eyes, throwing her hands up in exasperation. “Good fucking luck with that. We know how that shit is gonna play out.”

She couldn’t take it anymore, your mothers boss acted as if they had no employees other than her mom! Ronnie was over worked and grossly underpaid. It was ridiculous!  “Rianna… now you’re grown, but you’re not that grown! Watch your mouth! This job is what puts food on the ta-“Ronnie was startled by Riri clearing the room and her fist banging against the coffee table in frustration as she stood as tall as she could. “DOES IT?! MAMA DOES IT REALLY?! THIS STUPID ASS BOSS OF YOURS  OFFERED YOU A RAISE AND IT HASNT SEEN THE LIGHT OF DAY IN THREE YEARS!” Riri was right, and Ronnie knew it. 

She had to work somewhere though. She couldn’t just let the apartment go! She saw the moments that her boss took her for granted as opportunities to prove that she was more than capable of those raises that never came. Riri sighs, running her hand over her neatly braided hair. She silently evaluated her tone before speaking again. “They don’t care about you, mom! When dad died, they sent a fruit basket, with the schedule for the next week attached to it! You’re seriously gonna allow this?” It struck a nerve in Ronnie for Riri to spit that truth in her ego’s face like that. If she admitted that what she was saying was right, then that would mean admitting that she’s allowed herself to be in this stressful cycle for far too long. Could she handle telling herself that truth? “I’m going to work…” she said, pushing past Riri and slamming the door on the way out. Riri rolled her eyes, and flopped down on the couch in defeat. 

She drug herself to the bathroom. Preparing to take a shower before she slept preparing for her next shift.

[chibikyo]

Highlights from my sister playing through story mode with me in mortal kombat 1. She's familiar with mk but not obsessed like me (gonna just copy/paste this shit from my discord chat)

!!!spoilers!!!

Sis: *clearly had been falling asleep last time we played* wait when did Raiden get hisnlightning back

Me: *explained that the last cutscene we watched showed just that

Sis: shit that's right. *Proceeds to kick li mei's ass*

****

Me: look at the cake on sindel and kitana and mileena

Sis: right!? Is she still forced married to shao kahn*looks closer at i believe sindel* girls that's just a thong!

Me: *explains new timeline shenanigans and differences*

****

Sis: i dont want to fight Shao he's scary

Me: yeah but... uppy

Sis: really? You want uppy? With him?

Later...

Sis: goddammit. I get it

Me: told you

Sis: it makes me fucking furious

*******

Also Sis: no i don't wanna fight Baraka. He bite

Me: nah he good boi.

Sis: dammit why they gotta make me feel bad for Baraka?

Me: why did they give him nice hands?

Sis: right?!

Me: its okay. You dont gotta be attracted to baraka like me

Sis: Look the game is making a strong case for him, ngl

*****

Sis: it baby! (Points to syzoth) *ishowed hwr before launch how the babygirlified him so she was ready*

Game: reveals tragic back story

Sis: NOOOO!!!

*****

Sis: why is everyone gotta be sad. I need a happy fighting game

*****

Also pretty sure she wants to climb Reiko like a tree and just. Same

*****

Sis: *talking to syzoth* but do you have two peens?

Me: 😏

Sis: its a valid question

My sister does breed gargoyle geckos so she would know

*****

Best bit!! My sister reduses to admit she thinks quan chi is hot, but usually mains him because of his special moves. She like the portals and stomping and when he hypnotizes you. So anyway

Me to my friends over discord: Omg. So also. When Johnny and kenshi and kung lao get knocked out I'm sitting there with her and the green portal opens

And under my breath i whisper ' here comes magic husband*

And Sara fucking goes "how can all these bad guys be here and they don't bother to include Quan ch...." literally as he steps out the portal. She's half way through the name when he shows up

Fucking lost my shit. She's pretty sure she didn't hear me just the green portal reminded her of him but the timing was so goddamn good

I was legit crying. We had to pause

My friend mikachu: Fuck! Why can't we be there for the good shit?

*****

So in short, my sister is fully engrossed in mk1 stort. She hasnt played story mode with me since 9 so I'm hoping i can get her to rewatch the 9-11 trilogy with me cause watching her watch 1 has been hysterical. We are on chapter 6 so if anyone wants more of this ill post more next time we play

She also watched shang tsung being a smug bitch and commented: "i thought I'd say no to him, cause he's an awful bastartd, but no. I'd tap that if he showed up."

[quiznack]

ranking voltron characters on how much they should have been at the cluuuuuuuuubbbbbbbbbbb:

lance: there has never been a character who should have been at the club more than lance mcclain. i know hes absolutely slaughtering it on the dance floor. leave him there for five minutes and hes already made three new friends in the smoking area and bought far too many drinks for the meager amount in his bank account. a man with a true clubbing spirit and its honestly cruel voltron stole that from him. 10/10

hunk: now hunks place at the proverbial club is a little less sure. i think hunk would enjoy going clubbing occasionally, especially if its lance he's going out with. but he likes clubs that aren't as intense with plenty of seating area. maybe a lovely jazz place. that being said, the club is less of a natural habitat for him and more of a fun once-in-a-while. 6/10

pidge: this is a little hard for me to visualize because pidge is like, fifteen. many years remain before she can even dream of the club. that being said i think pidge has the potential to have fun at a club but it definitely wouldn't be her first choice. she would prefer playing video games at home. 3/10

shiro: i dont think shiro went to the club much pre-kerberos mission, always very focused on his career yk. always the guy reminding everyone to drink water, always the guy you left your drink with cause he took it deathly serious. that being said, he was occasionally known to bust a poorly done move. he did have fun! during voltron he was too busy having ptsd flashbacks and leading a war to be at the club. post the whole voltron kerfuffle i do not think you would ever find him at the club. that is an old ass man let him have his tea and biscuts and leave him alone. hasnt he done enough. 5/10 pre-kerberos and 1/10 after.

allura: i think, for allura, the club is a complicated place. on one hand she is an ancient alien princess unaccustomed to human clubs and i cant imagine, her being a teenager and also (it needs to be stated again) a princess, she had much clubbing experience on altea. that being said i think she could learn. whether she could shake off the stress of being princess/diplomat/paladin/all of her other roles long enough to truly enjoy it is another question. her killer dance moves make up for her stressed out vibes though and she is ultimately just a girl who wants to have fun. 5/10

keith: absolutely fucking not. keith has whatever the opposite of a clubbers spirit is. keith being at the club would be a sign of deep spiritual unrest. get my boy OUT of there. 0/10

coran: 10/10 no explanation needed. please let that man into a human club and please let me watch the show