#i haven't really planned anything! sort of relying on them to just take me to all the good places haha

[carlytayjepsen]

hiya Hellie, i saw that you’re going to glasgow in april, and wanted to ask: have you been there? if yes, where would you recommend to eat? and places to see? i’ll be there for a concert trip in june and am looking for tips 🤠 you can answer this on private if you want

hi jo - ooh fun!! who are you seeing?? i had a quick trip there a couple of years ago, but i'm struggling to remember where we went aside from some shopping and mini golf aha. i'm actually visiting my sibling and they've lived there for years, so i'm gonna ask them now and see if they have any recommendations😍

[yearningaces]

Nyx is a fun sized guy :3

How would he feel if another human was trying to court his s/o? Especially if compared to him, they are big, strong and would be ideal for providing?

AND VICE VERSA

What would happen if another rabbit person tried to yet his attention when he has his s/o??

I love this question cause I get to display Nyx like a peacock the way I haven't yet

The thing about Nyx, is that he's anxiety incarnated when it comes to anything NOT including himself.

When on the topic of himself however? He's so overly confident it's almost arrogance but the way he's confident isn't "you're dating the best partner because I'm me" it's more "of course we're together, the best of humans only deserves the best of inhumans." He'll lift you up in confidence while also praising himself. Package deal.

A big human coming to HIS human with intentions of courting or even flirting??? No. Not allowed. Absolutely not. Stop, turn around, do not pass go do not collect 200$.

To the point he almost seems like a different bun, but really he relies on throwing people off, he knows an actual fight gives him low odds against a human, he would fight another bun though. But mostly he aims to confuse and embarrass or make others nervous as opposed to going straight to an actual fight

More specifically

~

"What is this supposed to be?" Your little bunny boy questions in a surprisingly bold tone, stepping to your side with his eyes fixed on the guy that had asked about going out for drinks.

Nyx, even as small as he was, seemed larger somehow... Oh. He's standing as tall as his hind paws allow, ears perked up, head held high, shoulders back, chest out. What a confident little bun he seemed, and it was certainly enough to catch your fellow human off guard.

"Oh, sorry man, didn't see you there. I'm Jax, I'm a co-worker of-"

"-of my human. Yes I'm aware, we've talked about you over lunch before." Nyx waved Jax off with his hand, turning to look up at you instead. His tone shifting from hinted malice and morphing into the usual softer lovestruck tone. "Speaking of lunch, Honey- you said you wanted to try out that new Yakitori place, right? They have all sorts of cuts of meat and veggies for me too."

There's something about how Nyx is acting, as if Jax isn't even worth the effort of being polite with while simultaneously encouraging you to leave. You'll have to discuss exactly what's up later but don't want to purposely upset anyone, so you turn to Jax to at least say goodbye-

Until Jax steps forward with some gathered nerve that's far too easy for a big guy to have. "Actually, rabbit- I'm going to be taking my coworker here out for a drink."

Nyx doesn't hesitate and doesn't second guess his actions because he springs forward, landing with a quiet thud on the concrete directly in front of Jax, making the grown man stumble back slightly. "Excuse you? I think you actually tried telling this incredible person what to do. No, that's not how you should be speaking to the greatest human you'll ever meet."

To both your confusion and amusement, Jax is stumbling backwards from a bunny half his size just from Nyx's bolstering display, continuing his steps forward, forcing Jax backwards even further. "No, because they're my wonderful partner and I'm theirs. And we are going to have a lovely lunch at the new spot they've been talking about, and we'll maybe go shopping after, and then go home. Alone. Without your nonsensical attitude and demands that honestly don't hold any water."

Jax stumbles back further. Gripping over the curb behind him and landing on his ass with Nyx standing far too close to be a respectful distance, the white and brown fur hybrid glared down, leaning over slightly to make eye contact directly. His eyes hold a challenge to them. "Now where in those plans do you see yourself included? I certainly don't see such a ridiculous notion anywhere." His perked ears twitch back to you, remembering you're there as well, and his tone and demeanor draws back slightly.

When Jax is silent -most likely confused and embarrassed- Nyx turns to walk back to you. He turns with the familiar bright smile and spring in his step as he wanders towards you, raising his hands to take your arm and guide you away, a slight spring in his step. "Come on, honey! I think that's the best pre-meal entertainment we could possibly get."

What a bun, that Nyx.

~

Now, if another bun ever tried, he'd go all out- nvm on explaining you get a two for one scenario here we go!

~

It was certainly a strange situation.

You'd grown accustomed to the burrows being a place where you have to be overly cautious and watch your actions closely as most bunny Hybrid around here were so easily frightened.

But this one seemed... Not.

The dark brown fur ears and tail were fluffier than Nyx's, and she was a larger type of bunny... Were there different species of rabbit-hybrids? There were characteristics in Nyx's family that you didn't see for each bunny out and about... Regardless, the one in front of you had hopped over to the bench Nyx left you on while he darted off to find something he left in his families burrow. So you were alone... Trying not to be too loud or too quick in movements but also trying to get this bunny -Alira- to stop flirting so much.

She had hopped up onto the bench with you at this point, leaning over herself and placing her hands on the bench to prop herself up all while speaking. "Come on, a strong predator like yourself all alone out here? You can't convince me that you're here with some silly bun... I think you're here looking for somebunny to devour" her grin didn't diminish though, apparently she was writing her own narrative in her head despite your many denials.

"I don't know what to tell you, you don't have to believe me but I really just wanna be left alone until my partner comes back."

"Partner?" Her ears perk up as much as they can despite the natural droop to them. "Oh dear, what a flimsy relationship... Not even a mate yet?"

At that you're caught off guard, "A what?" At the feeling of her hand on your arm, you jolt back, almost ironically given your dispositions.

What you're not prepared for, is to have a very familiar white and brown fur bunny boy springing on you out of nowhere and depositing himself onto your lap. Nyx fills your vision, his eyes alert, his smile bright and his ears up. He looks like the epitomy of a parading peacock. "Honey!" His greeting seems overly sugary in tone, his hands pressing into your cheeks and pulling your face down to his for a kiss. One and another and another spanning from your lips to your nose, your cheeks, your forehead, your jaw- "I'm so sorry it took me so long, Grandma bun was just telling me how they wanted me to invite you to celebrate the harvest holidays with us, isn't that sweet?"

After a moment, it's clear he's intentionally ignoring your company but once he sees Alira's hand still on your arm he swats it away, raising your forearm and pressing a kiss where her hand was. "Oh, my poor honey. All of this unwanted attention from strangers that don't know their place must feel so uncomfortable. Why don't we go back to the burrow, hm? I can make us some sweet bread and spiced tea to relax with? And we can talk holiday plans whenever you'd like."

There's something familiar in how he's acting. How any time someone tries to take your attention he purposely acts as if they're not around, as if so unimportant they're not worth noticing...

With that, Nyx hops off the bench, guiding you along with a delighted expression and promises of sweets and soft blankets to cuddle under, promises he would absolutely deliver at that.

[passive-t-u-m-b-l-r-user]

I hate this horrible game of telephone people are playing with Nomura's Interview.

Read it yourself. Stop freaking out and misinterpreting.

...

Young Jump Interview Page 3

(Translated by Liodin on KHInsider)

Q1: The Kingdom Hearts series has many intricate settings and characters. How do you consolidate these and communicate them to the team?

TN: I don't think the team fully understands everything. For example, during recordings, sometimes the staff explaining the settings or characters to the voice actors will ask me, “This is correct, right?” and I might respond, “No, not quite.” This kind of back-and-forth happens (laughs). However, it’s understandable because I’m the only one who knows the parts of the characters that haven't been depicted yet. I personally navigate through the complex storylines, constantly swaying between different directions. On the other hand, I encourage the team to question or point out anything to me.

Q2: Do you have a sort of "bible" or documentation for the settings?

TN: I do have personal notes to ensure I don't forget things. These include the footsteps of important characters, events that haven't been depicted yet, and future developments.

Q3: So, these aren’t shared with the team?

TN: No, I keep them a secret (laughs). But when necessary, I sometimes write sudden bursts of detailed settings into the script to make sure the staff understands.

Q4: In Kingdom Hearts, you seem to lay out foreshadowing that spans multiple installments. How do you keep track of everything?

TN: A lot of it is written in my notes, but I also rely on the staff to remember things. Since I enjoy watching videos, I sometimes check gameplay footage and fan theories on YouTube. Rather than relying on my notes, I often ask the staff how things played out in previous titles.

Q5: Do you watch fan theory videos? Do you ever think, “They’ve figured it out, so I’ll change it,” or “They don’t get it at all”?

TN: I find them genuinely interesting to watch. Often, I think, “It’s not as complicated as people think.” I’m frequently impressed by how deeply people analyze things. For instance, some people try to connect Kingdom Hearts to the Final Fantasy series, but the writers for each are different, and even though I’m involved with both, there’s no connection between the titles.

Q6: At the time of the first Kingdom Hearts, I assume you didn’t have the entire current storyline planned. As the series progresses and more settings and characters are introduced, does it become increasingly difficult to maintain coherence? Do you mostly make things up as you go?

TN: I had a general direction from the first game. As I mentioned earlier, I do take notes on future developments. When things don’t quite align with the planned direction, I make adjustments on the fly. While the details weren’t fully fleshed out at the time of Kingdom Hearts I (released in 2002), I had thought about the next few installments ahead of time. So, while we were working on Kingdom Hearts III (released in 2019), I already had Kingdom Hearts IV and beyond in mind and worked toward that.

Q7: This year, Kingdom Hearts: Missing-Link, a mobile app, is also set for release. With important story elements being released on mobile or handheld devices, are you concerned that some players may lose track of the storyline?

TN: Yes, that is a concern (laughs). That’s why Missing-Link takes place in a much earlier timeline than the main Kingdom Hearts series. However, as fans often joke, “Even though Kingdom Hearts IV is coming out, it’s really more like Kingdom Hearts XIII” since the non-numbered titles are obviously connected. Still, I believe it allows for a deeper enjoyment of the Kingdom Hearts universe. That said, both Missing-Link and Kingdom Hearts IV are being designed with a strong emphasis on being standalone titles rather than just sequels. For instance, a new approach in the scenario writing is that I’ve had staff members who haven’t been involved in Kingdom Hearts before join the writing process. Of course, I’ll make final adjustments, but the base script was written by people unfamiliar with the series, which is why I don’t think these projects will feel like obligatory follow-ups. With Missing-Link, we’re addressing “the lost history,” so the expectation is that not knowing everything is part of the experience. If you know the lore, it’s more enjoyable, but it’s not a prerequisite.

Q8: Much like how starting a long-running manga series can be daunting, the large number of Kingdom Hearts titles poses a similar challenge. How do you plan to attract new users?

TN: I’d love to know the answer to that (laughs). As I mentioned earlier, Missing-Link and Kingdom Hearts IV are kind of reset points for me. I felt like Kingdom Hearts III was a natural conclusion of sorts, so we’re resetting things by bringing in new writers and even redesigning the logo to make the series more accessible.

Q9: So, that’s why the logo changed.

TN: If you’ve seen the ending of Kingdom Hearts III, you’ll understand, but the way Sora’s story ended was a way to reset things, so Kingdom Hearts IV should be more accessible than previous titles. Of course, longtime fans will recognize the familiar feel of the series, but we’re designing it to be approachable for newcomers as well.

Q10: In a past interview, you mentioned that players would spend a lot of time in “Quadratum” (a field resembling Shibuya) in Kingdom Hearts IV. Why bring in a more realistic setting to a world that was previously pure fantasy?

TN: There are a few reasons, but I personally like settings that are slightly removed from reality rather than being completely fantastical. It’s the same with films—I find it harder to get immersed in worlds that are entirely fictional with no connection to reality. That’s why Quadratum is based on Shibuya but isn’t the real Shibuya. I’m fascinated by the idea of a slightly off-kilter version of reality, rather than a pure fantasy world.

Q11: Manga like Tokyo Ghoul, set in Tokyo, and Jujutsu Kaisen, with its Shibuya arc, are similar in that they use real-world locations. Perhaps fans of both manga and games enjoy these grounded yet fantastical settings.

TN: That might be true. It’s easier to relate to. Additionally, I’ve always thought there were plenty of creators already doing medieval high fantasy, so I didn’t need to. In 2007, we released The World Ends with You, which was also set in Shibuya, but now many works use Shibuya as a setting. It feels like everyone has come to Shibuya (laughs).

Q12: It does seem like more works are set in Japan these days. Speaking of the mix between reality and fantasy, at the beginning of Kingdom Hearts, there’s a monologue where Sora says, “I’ve been having these weird thoughts lately… Like, is any of this for real or not?” Did you already have Quadratum in mind back then?

TN: The name “Quadratum” didn’t exist at that time, but I had the concept in mind. It was a long-term plan that I knew we would eventually reach (laughs).

Q13: So it’s a 20-year-long payoff for that foreshadowing. Lastly, do you see the ending of the Kingdom Hearts series in the future?

TN: To give you a realistic answer, I’m approaching retirement age, so it’s becoming a race between retirement and finishing the series (laughs). However, I am creating Kingdom Hearts IV with the intent of leading toward the series’ conclusion.

https://www.khinsider.com/forums/index.php?threads/when-are-we-expecting-news.238707/post-6668282

[all-pacas]

Don't leave us in suspense! Drop the baldirs gate takes!

the one literally on my mind right now:

there is not a single good astarion/halsin story out there. like prove me wrong i guess, i haven't looked at all of them, but every single one i dip my toes into goes:

uwu poor baby astarion so sad

uwu halsin takes care of him and teaches him consent

uwu halsin is very paternalistic and teaches astarion how to sex

uwu he Big

and it drives me bonkers. like fandom has the habit of infantilizing astarion anyway, making him out to be a poor sad victim. like other people have pointed out the hilarious "man whose personal journey is gaining agency -> let's take away his agency" fanfic pipeline already, but for real!

rambling about how emotionally stunted astarion is under the cut:

he doesn't like to talk about his trauma, but he's also clear that it is trauma. he isn't in denial. he knows he's fucked up. and yes, when it comes to sex it's a bit more of a gray area, but he's a willing participant. he has a bunch of horny comments. he very much wants to hook up with someone at the goblin party, and WILL fuck lae'zel if tav doesn't romance either first. he tends to not enjoy sex as much as he THINKS he will and disassociates and knows his feelings are all fucked up around it, but he is NOT naive or in denial. he actually seems pretty self aware about it! he knows he forces himself through seductions, he knows he uses sex as a tool, he doesn't like either thing but he's been doing it for a long time. he's not naive.

he's also just. not. vulnerable? in general? like the man whines and complains, but he's one of the least emotional people in camp, in that he HATES expressing his real feelings. he doesn't talk about feelings. shadowheart, by way of contrast, is standoffish and doesn't open up easily, but IS able to pretty plainly state when she likes and trusts you. astarion? he has no idea. he will say this. he doesn't admit to liking anyone or anything, and yes, trauma, etc., etc., but he's also just kind of emotionally closed off. in general. anything that isn't superficial is shut down.

astarion actually goes pretty far out of his way to NOT be uwu vulnerable. he HATES being pitied and looked down on, or being perceived as such. CONSISTENTLY. he hates it when you tell him you'll protect him. he doesn't like being seen as weak. my favorite example: he doesn't actually approve of you offering to be his personal juice box after the first bite: he does approve of you agreeing with HIS plan to eat bandits. he doesn't like charity; he likes agency. he'll still take advantage, because he'll take what he can get, but it's REALLY telling he consistently prefers the answer that gives him agency (eating bandits) over the easier solution that doesn't (being fed at tav's discretion). with durge it's even more obvious. he says repeatedly: he wants to be in this TOGETHER. he wants them to rely on HIM. he very, very, very much does not want to be a kept toy.

i think there's also some ambiguity about him calling off sex in his romance. he's VERY clear that he enjoyed sex with tav and sees them as very attractive; it's just that (as he also says) he doesn't know how to have a relationship that isn't framed around sex as a tool and payment. that's re-enforced by his stated vulnerabilities once tav stops sleeping with him: he sees sex as his primary purpose/his looks as his only selling point, and he worries about tav hooking up with the drow twins (slightly) or halsin (more so) as a result. and yes, he has lots of other trauma and issues to unpack on top of it: but from the outset, he's pretty clear that he wants to figure out how to have feelings and a relationship in a non-sexual context. the other stuff exists TOO. many things can be true. it's just that he states, his stated reason for withdrawing, is wanting to sort out his feelings for TAV, not sort out his sexual trauma. again, both are true. but also: BOTH are true. he's not just a sad traumatized boy, he's also and equally trying to learn how to Relationship in a different way than he's used to.

so going back to halsin, who i'm not trying to demonize. all these FANFICS, man. halsin teaching astarion about uwu consent and taking care of him in a strong and paternal way. that's like. the last thing in the universe astarion would want. he'd go full cat exposed to water. and i'm not saying the ship can't happen or whatever, but it's such a common thread in the fanfics it drives me bonkers.

[grison-in-space]

Okay, so: I've mentioned that I have service oriented tasks in mind for Matilda, but I haven't actually talked a bunch about what I'm aiming for. In part this is because one of the biggest things I would find supportive doesn't seem to be a Thing at the moment.

Generally speaking, I need an executive function support dog. I think I can make this happen without overtaxing my dog, but I'm getting stuck thinking about what I want to teach and how to chain it, so I'm going to think out loud for a minute.

So: autism, ADHD, constant masking, and an objectively stressful ten years in Texas (fire! flood! school stabbing! literal abandonment! we have them all!) has left me with some burnout problems. I dissociate a lot and I need to figure out how to train that as an alert, but especially in the evenings I tend to get stuck. Most of my coping techniques relied on either stores of energy I largely just don't have or on anxiety over consequences to serve as a motivator. While I can still do my job pretty well (thanks, hyperfocus!), I miss a lot of care opportunities (things like: consume lunch. Drink liquids. Take afternoon meds). And I can tune out anything at this point.

I have found that there's a distinct sensory component to this, though: visual and especially tactile stimuli work way better than auditory ones. It's just that there isn't really anything that can do a mix like that right now. I've rigged some things to help but it's not ideal, and I've passively/accidentally trained every previous dog I've had to sit outside flailing distance and subvocalize until I get up anyway; surely it should be possible to teach a dog to help with this. Say, by progressing from a touch or lick to a nose punch to crawling into my lap to lick my face on a timed cue.

By the way, friends, you lose shit in burnout. Learn from my mistakes; try to mask less, fuck. I have a lot of grief I'm still processing over things I did ten or fifteen years ago that I can't do today; my capacity is just so much lower than it used to be. I am on an upswing--the move helped a lot, just getting away from Texas, and the new job environment has been helpful, and so have some med adjustments... but I'm not as fast or as hard driving as I used to be, and there are some things I won't get back.

Anyway. Plans. Public access groundwork is actually not worrying me too badly at this stage: we're working on dog reactivity, foundations, and settling, and she sees enough weird places I'm not too concerned about now. But it's the tasking pieces I'm hung up on. I have thoughts, at least, for the dissociation alerts and grounding part of the problem: I know how I hold myself and how I don't move in certain ways when I'm dissociated, and "touch" shaped into licking my hand or nudging me is something I can use for that.

But what would be really helpful is setting alerts for Tilly to go into Pester Mode on a timer. I think I can use a phone timer for this, probably, although I would really like it if I could make Gcal notifications work as a cue to set timers to. I can use "human stands up" as my stop cue for the behavior, and the start cue is of course the timer itself. Once summoned by the timer, I know what I would like her to do.

I'm just sort of stuck on how to go about starting this. I do not want to invoke Pester Mode without the timer, and I would ideally like Pester Mode to be reliably turned off if I stand up. I do not want to trigger Pester Mode for anyone but me. I can think of like half a dozen ways this task could go hideously wrong.

It's just that it would be so helpful if I could program a bunch of very specific reminders based on my Gcal schedule and then have a stubborn little dog break any hyperfocus and help me transition into a new behavior at those periods. Unfortunately, now that Matilda is old enough to begin thinking about beginning to shape the beginnings of this, I find myself stuck. What would you do, dogblr?

[sonic7ischaos]

Man, thinking about Dragonball's capsule tech, makes me wish Toriyama hadn't gone all powerscale-y on everything like he did. Like, even more than I already did.

I can imagine a version of the series where Bulma stays relevant, carrying around entire labs and workshops in her pocket, building weapons and augmentations for the group. Portable gravity rooms and exo-suits. Scouters for characters who can't sense ki. A version of the story where, like One Piece, Toriyama planned out the ending from the very start, and built consistently towards that with Buu, foreshadowing the whole time.

Like, I love Dragonball don't get me wrong, but it introduces some cool ideas and characters and then lets them stagnate. The original fighters from OG Dragonball should've been keeping up with the Saiyans to varying degrees. Bulma is Goku's first friend and now she's relegated to background support for the Saiyans, specifically Goku and Vegeta, most of the time. Gohan's missed potential as end of series protagonist stepping into Goku's shoes is well worn territory for a reason. Not that it's not good for Gohan as an individual that he got to retire from fighting and become a scholar, just that it's bad for the structure of the story as a whole that it gets set up that way, and then despite all the talk of passing the torch to future generations with Gohan, Goten, and Trunks, Goku and Vegeta swoop in at the last minute to steal the show, relatively speaking anyway, it's a long series, "last minute" is literal 10s of episodes.

Bulma and the earthlings, besides Mr. Satan, basically have no effect on the plot whatsoever after a certain point, but they should be getting transformations and new techniques too, always striving to keep up with Goku...until he's gone and then it becomes a way for them to carry on part of his legacy. Tien vs. Semi-Perfect Cell at least should serve as a wake up call and push the gang to catch up with all the Saiyans.

It even seems like he was setting something like that up in the Namek Saga by sending them all to King Kai's, where they too should be learning his techniques and catching up to Goku. Watching things unfold on Namek, maybe they adopt King Kai's techniques, and develop their own complimentary moves. Tien could improve the split-form technique and make it not divide his strength by modifying the Kaio-ken, as a literal off the top of my head idea.

Having them more or less be on Goku's level and STILL getting their shit kicked in by the androids, and having them play a greater role in the ensuing conflict would've made things that much more tense and dramatic. You could still have Tien's badass moment against Cell, a way to really hammer home how much danger they're all in if it's taking someone on par with Goku this much effort just to hold him in place and he's only in his SECOND form. It makes the Vegeta and Trunks leaving the hyperbolic time chamber all that much more a big deal because we're seeing just how much stronger than Super Saiyan the ascended form really is, by having the comparison to the fighters more or less on Goku's level.

Just...I dunno. I've looked for fanfics and fan comics that work to make Dragonball a little more cohesive and consistent, but I haven't really found anything.

Anyway, I digressed a lot here, my initial intent was to just talk about how fucking cool Capsule tech is, both conceptually, and in the ways that it could serve the worldbuilding and aesthetics if we were informed by the narrative of Bulma's loadout and limitations, make it more relevant to planning and fight strategy. Watching a reaction to Super, she pulls out a warehouse with a lab in it in Trunks' future and it got me thinking of how cool it'd be if she'd been able to do that sort of on the fly preparation on Namek y'know? Have someone who relies on tech rather than Ki to fight and get around factor into dealing with Frieza and his forces, outfitting Gohan and Krillin, and eventually Vegeta with armor and tools to help them overcome the power difference between them and Frieza's army, as an idea.

[scribz-ag24]

Stupid question but which one re-evolved first, Duskull/Dusknoir or Treecko/Grovyle?

First, don't say it's a stupid question, I would love to share ideas for the au and talk more about it, especially 'cause I personally am not very creative on my own, so interaction helps immensely.

Second, gonna be honest here, I actually have no idea. I haven't really put much thought into actual plot lmao. The AU doesn't even belong to me really, I just took jsab's one and came up with little interactions that I found funny and/or cute (in my defense, i was starving for actaeonshipping content xd). I didn't plan an actual timeline/story, and I feel that way anyone can come up with their own interpretation of it, which is fun. (and also less complicated cause the logistics of a swap au would be,,,,,,,,,,,,complicated i think).

However, since you asked, I am going to list some random ideas I had about how it could happen, which sort of mixes with possible story beats ig. Sorry beforehand for the length and change of subject lol.

tldr: imo it depends on what story you wanna come up with and whatever serves it better (i.e. you want it to happen post game, so you follow the game's plot; you want it to happen during the story, so sth weird happens, etc.)

So in PMD:EOS world, pokémon evolve through the Luminous Spring. The player can't evolve until the spring regains its light once the flow of time is fixed. So either we have Grovyle and Dusknoir re-evolving after Dialga is defeated, respecting canon, or we tweak it a bit to make it more interesting.

A way to alter the spring method would be by stealing a headcanon I saw someplace I can't remember (oops): that pokémon, while they usually rely on the Luminous Spring, on very rare occasions can evolve through high levels of stress to protect themselves. I personally like this theory because it explains why there are evolved pokémon in the future, like Grovyle and Dusknoir themselves. They were born in a paralysed world, with no magic skinnydipping, so what's up with that.

When I say this ties in with story beats is because I feel the choice here can make two different versions of the swap, 1. treecko and duskull literally take the hero and partner role to the very end (plus a face off against darkrai ig??), or 2. respect the game's kind-of-chosen one narrative by having partner keep their relic fragment, and making grovyle and dusknoir's main mission to help hero and partner work together again. The problem with this AU is that, if taken seriously, it would need a DEEP reconsideration of the game's events and characters. When does the swap occur? Why does it happen, is Darkrai involved again? If Hero and Partner are still there, does that mean the story of eos happened beforehand but had a bad ending? How do two characters whose actions are immensely influenced by their knowledge of the future act when stripped of their canon motivations? Do they keep behaviours and reflexes (perhaps theyre a bit more ambivalent with violence/more morally gray than hero and partner) or are they a blank slate? Do they feel compelled to evolve because they have a weird feeling that they're in a body strange to them? This is why I only draw the fun two panel interactions!

Leaving all that aside, here are some scenarios that could happen (...because we are just making shit up so anything can happen):

They evolve through struggle, like I presume they had to do in the future. Maybe Treecko evolves sooner, on account of being more reckless and referencing his status as a starter pokémon that evolves at level 16. Once Duskull evolves he prolly carries the team for a while, tho, since Dusclops was supposed to be a fully evolved pokémon in gen 3, and is iconically stronger than Dusknoir when it carries an eviolite. Then again, Grovyle and Dusknoir in game are way stronger than they would be in a mainline game, so perhaps they maintain some muscle memory that helps them in combat (funny how two amnesiac pokémons, who barely remember their own names, are somehow so accostumed to battle, huh, weird). I'd say the best place for an evolution would be the dark future, maybe they escape from prison without facing the sableye -cause a prison cell isnt that big of a deal for someone who knows dig and someone whose actual pokédex entry is "It can go through walls!"- and evolve in a fight against partner?

The evolution doesn't follow game rules at all, instead it's a physical manifestation of their old memories. Hero never remembers their past (sorry grovyle), but this is pure self indulgence so maybe the other two do, or at least are more encouraged to do so or get more information (celebi for grovyle, and dialga for dusknoir).

Following that last point, Celebi and Dialga, two time travelling pokémon, actively interfere to help them get their memories back/get them up to speed with the situation, each to their own interest. Perhaps this involve a separation arc between Treecko and Duskull, à la Gates to Infinity. This would serve to make them less dependent of each other, and mature on their own for a while, differenciating them from hero and partner.

They don't re-evolve, they save the world/help save the world like hero and partner would do.

My favourite option is Dialga helps them somehow with time magic after the battle is over and time is fixed. The sole point of it is getting Dusknoir and Grovyle -with their memories back- to awkardly leave together on a slow stoneship that shoots rainbow, for the sole reason that it would be hilarious.

[kzele]

The Man Behind The Spider 5(?)

@hermesserpent-stuff and I did a back and forth convo. I was Peter and they were Tombstone. This is legit copy-pasted from our chat with their permission.

Tombstone: how much does the spider pay u?

Peter: What? That's. . .Look, it's really not about the money, alright?The Bugle pays me for Spider-man photos. That's it.

tombstone:hmmm

Peter: *not liking the sound of that* You have something to say? Not everyone is in it for the money, you know.

Tombstone: then why cover for him? Why do you make his gear, take his photos, and presumably do other things for a person who seems more of an endangerment to you and yours than any sort of benefit?

Peter: Because he's also saved me and mine a lot. Before either of us had anything to do with the Bugle, he saved Mr. Osborn from dying and Harry got to still have two parents. If I can help make sure that no one else has to get hurt, I will. Money or no money.

Tombstone: ah I see.

Peter: *raises a disbelieving eyebrow* You do?

Tombstone: somewhat. Blood loyalties are the hardest to break. Especially among good men. And I think you are a good man at heart Peter.

Peter: *flushes* I, uh, thank you? But I think just about anyone could do the same.

Tombstone: *shaking his head slowly* I can count on my hand the men who would rather fight and die for loyalty. The number that would turn against their own brother or anyone who's saved their sorry skin is akin to the number of stars in the sky.

Peter: You're getting pretty philosophical. Maybe you don't see many of them with your lifestyle, but they are there. It sucks you haven't been able find them around you, though.

Tombstone: Im not sure if your optimism is born of youth, foolishness, or is some inherit personal trait. And perhaps your right. But I've lived many lives with many faces. Trust that I might have picked up some wisdom along the way.

Peter: Don't see what's foolish about finding a reason to get out of bed in the morning. My aunt and uncle are *pause* and were good at finding a way of looking up, so it's definitely not an age thing. And besides, isn't the whole point of wisdom knowing you haven't experienced everything yet?

tombstone: *there is a note of delight in his smile* it seems you have had some very valuable teachers. And youre not incorrect. Wisdom relies on learned experience and seeing that you have not experienced all there is to learn. Though patterns tend to speak for themselves. as they say: history does not repeat itself. but it often rhymes.

Peter: *relaxes and smiles back a little* The best teachers. Makes learning from experience much more fun. Glad we're on the same page with something, then.

Tombstone: *immensely pleased* Indeed.

Peter: Sooo, where do we go from here? How are you going plan around me now? Since you decided not to threaten me and stuff.

Tombstone: *he lets out a hum of consideration* I think it would be unwise to tell you. You have the ear of my enemy after all. But rest assured, my network wont bother you. Unless strictly necessary.

Peter: *rolls eyes* That's all I wanted to know. I'm not dumb enough to think you'll just let me in on your detailed plans. But what exactly do you mean by *air quotes* strictly necessary?

Tombstone: I dont think Ill elaborate. I do believe you would find reason to be irritated with the guidelines I have in mind

Peter:. . .How do I know if I crossed a line then? *frowns* Also, how did you come across me at all today? I would have thought I was too far beneath you for you to notice me.

Tombstone: *sidestepping the first question* I make it a goal of mine to keep a thumb on the pulse of the underground. and you have entered one of her main arteries. Working for spiderman will gain you many eyes. Including mine

Peter: *narrow eyes* That's not an exact answer for my second question and you didn't even answer my first. Did you talk to someone I know about me and they told you where to find me?

Tombstone: So you wont turn on spider-man but you expect me to turn on my source of information? *teasing* For shame.

Peter: *crosses arms* When it concerns people I know, yes. It's not like I'm asking you for a list of underworld informants. Was it Jonah? I know he donates to your charities. Or what about Mr. Osborn? You two run into each other from time to time and catch up on rich people things?

Tombstone: What benefit does it give me to tell you who my informant is?

Peter: . . .Are you actually saying you want something in return for that info? You're the one who cornered me using someone I know as an informant.

Tombstone: *shaking hsi head slightly* no. I did not mean to imply that. Rather, that would end in a burnt bridge where i get no more information from that source for other things. Though the bridge may be burned anyways, given that we have spoken, despite their... reservations

Peter: *thinking it over* Not Jonah, then. He's totally bought into your public persona. Same with May. I can't see Captain Stacy being happy about giving you info but I can't see that being called a burnt bridge either, since you two don't hang. I'm not in contact with the Connors now since I was let go. Burnt bridge crosses out anyone my age, which leaves Mr. O?

Tombstone: *smiles with a little more teeth, definitely pleased* Oh, you are quite quick on your feet. Im not going to confirm or deny. But your logic is sound.

Peter: *sighs* I'm quick enough to know that's as close as I'm going to get to a yes.

[helloitsbees]

I am buzzing after reading chapter 20 for Road&Sky omg are you kidding me! The mystery! The heart ache!!

You are so talented, I love the way you've crafted this story. I haven't seen Carol or read the book and atp I think I'm too committed to your story to go spoil anything for myself.

And can I just say. Slow burn is my favourite category in fanfiction and hot take but it's not easy to find well-crafted slow burn out here! Especially in smaller fandoms. Part of fanfiction's charm to me is that anyone can write it and you won't get shamed for not following the "rules" of storytelling, but I have to say with slow burn as a reader you have to commit to a story more as the slow burn tends to be...slow. Ha. So you can be 200k into a fic only for it to fall flat bc the author relies solely on the slow burn and then the happy couple kiss and roll credits.

I find that slow burn as a category sort of relies on everything during and after the "climax" part of the story structure rollercoaster.

Like a looot of slow burn I've read follow the same incomplete structure: The story will be 99% slow burn (background, rising action) the characters get together on like the last two pages (climax) and that's that. Where is falling action + resolution? 😭 You never actually get to read about them living life together, doing all the things that have been set up earlier (falling action, resolution.)

But with this fic it's not like that! With a lot of fics it's felt like the slow burn is either been building up to no proper resolution or it's just filler that's only there for whatever main story piece the author has centered the story around.

But the slow burn you write is rewarding on it's own if that makes sense. Like I am eating up every word lmao!

Sorry ion wanna bore u yapping in your inbox I'm just excited bc you're def writing my favorite fic in the Saw fandom rn!!

I can't help but nerd out a lil on the creative writing apect of it all but trust I could go on and on about how well you handle chainshipping. I love them RAAAHHHH !!!

The road and sky has me in a chokehold. I cannot wait to see what you're cooking up. I am SAT 🍽️

holy shit thank you so much, this was such a lovely thing to wake up to in my inbox!!! i’m so glad you’re enjoying it, i really hope what i have planned is going to be as satisfying to read as it was to plan & write!!

[noodlesandpanic]

It's nearing the end of the day and

overall, today was a good day. I went to a market as a vendor with my sister to sell her crochet stuff. She made almost $500! I'm super proud of her. I didn't sell any of my art stickers, but our Dad stopped by at this one for the first time and he not only acknowledged my stickers, but complimented them. So that was nice. The person who's approval I seek the most (even though I have an issue of seeking the approval of everyone in the world), is him. So. Nice, but I also shouldn't feel like I need that pat on the back to feel like my art is worth something.

I'm still waiting to hear back from cosmetology school so that I can get an appointment set up to talk about getting registered. I'm sure my fafsa will be done processing Monday, or Tuesday at the absolute latest. I really really need this medication to work so I'm just gonna start the full 40mg tomorrow. So after 5 days instead of the recommended 7, but I think it's fine. I haven't had any problems with it besides struggling to sleep, but that's been a theme on and off my whole life.

I hope that FINALLY going to school for cosmetology and having that creative outlet in a career will change my life drastically. I constantly quit office jobs over and over. I'm just not meant for that life. It's soul crushing. I need to do work that I'm passionate about, and get to fully be myself in.

I am a very insecure person. This is not news to me, but I am really trying to work on it. My weight plays an extremely huge factor. But the other biggest thing is that I have no real milestones or accomplishments that I feel proud of. I've lived my life playing shit safe because I'm afraid of failure. And judgement. The largest thing being judgement. I haven't completed any schooling of any sort, I stopped singing because of fear of others, and I just simply never follow through with anything. Workout plans, diets (even though I understand those are technically bad, especially because I already have binge eating issues), JOBS (probably my biggest downfall as an adult), creative ventures of any sort, books, albums, the list goes on. It's seriously a huge issue. I need to develop some self discipline in order to gain some self confidence, I think. I don't think I can feel confident in myself if I can't rely on myself. That's a pretty big deal.

I have not gone to the gym the last 2 days as I said I would. Again, I can not rely on myself. I need to find a way to do what I said I'm going to do. I need to trust me. So, I need to make that happen tomorrow. Even if it's just light cardio for 20 minutes. It's to develop that routine and discipline.

Well, I guess it's time to start getting ready for bed. Take my tampon out because it's making my insides SCREAM, wash my makeup off, write my daily (sort of, I'm trying) gratitude list of 10 things, do my 10 minute meditation, and hopefully actually sleep soundly tonight.

Goodnight *moon emoji*

[ch-cali]

12/20/2022: Start of my personal diary

So basically this is my personal diary for my life from here on out. It's 12/20/2022 and I just finished moving back in with my parents with my daughter. I separated from my partner, which is a whole other story. This is hopefully going to be a sort of documentation about my progress with myself from here on out. I struggle with bipolar disorder and anxiety. I have been pretty well as of lately especially regarding my situation. I struggle with my self image and weight. I am currently in the 160's and plan to start taking better care of myself. I am not a majority single mom. When I brought up to my partner about how we're going to split out time he literally said "I never wanted this in the first place" and so I asked in regards to her? abortion? while literally holding my over 1 year old in my arms with my partner furious at me. At us. He said yeah and I said very angrily to please go away I don't want to talk to him bc how are you going to bring this up with her right here? And he went on saying "am I not allowed to have feelings? Only you are allowed to say your feelings? Well this is how I really feel. Why can't I say how I really feel?" And on and on about that and I literally had to get away. ASAP. He literally admitted that his mother is more scared of losing her than he is. I am just heartbroken and don't really trust him alone with her any more for other reasons even before this argument. Not physically abusive or anything just very neglectful to the both of us most of the time. I am so happy that less than a week after that I was out and I just finished finally unpacking everything (I think) and I'm settled in but don't quite feel comfortable. I miss how things were and I cry most night causing a skin inflammation and issue under my eyes making me look absolutely horrible. My room has none of my old decorations as I left my old room and my decor to my little sister as soon as I moved. I'm going to have to go to the dollar tree and think of putting something together to make my room feel more cozy.

I miss a lot about my life the last year but I realize I still look at the very few fond memories but push down 90% of the other stuff I went through, My partner was my first love and I really thought nothing would ever be able to make me not love him. But after out altercation- after saying that to me about the most important thing in my world I think of him as the most disgusting piece of scum on the earth pos. He's done a lot to me before but something about becoming and mother and hearing him speak on our daughter like that... I will never ever forgive him.

To work on myself I need to start on my regular health- eating right sleeping schedules and such. I need to find another job- I got fired for not being able to keep up with the work load. I wasn't willing to do so much over time all the time. Oh well- I hated that job and it took me away from my daughter because it was always over 43 ours a week which isn't so much but she's only awake so lone- I get a total of 2-3 hours a day with her fully and only an hour bonding with her over fun things- the rest is the eating cleaning and bed time routine unfortunately. I want to find something with a little less hours if possible- decent hourly wage- I probably won't ever make the amount I did as my last job working from home but hopefully something decent and full benefits so I can get her back on my insurance. Since I lost my job I had to ask her dad to add her until I get mine and I really just don't want to rely on him in any way. My social skills going out having fun. reaching out to people I haven't yet since I started dealing with all of this just out of embarrassment. My friends reached out asking me how I was doing and had no idea what was going on- I gave them a quick "no everything isn't alright but it will be soon" when they asked. I appreciate them for asking

Basically I wanna be better and feel better about myself and here is my start.

[fulcrum-agent]

008. Adroid [FFXIVwrite2021]

"So just...pick a big room?" she asks the punkish apparition, head canting a little.

The redhead nods, smirking a little. "You're a clever girl, Quil - I trust ya won't pick somewhere with so little space, the bulkheads get blown up."

There's the briefest moment of blue screening brain at the compliment, but it's gone in a microsecond.

"'Cept when it comes to that other thing you brought up," she chides, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall. "That was stupid as fuck, and we're gonna be discussin' it when you're done kicking this Miqo'te about."

Quila can't help but wince, giving the Arcadia a sheepish expression.

All the apparition does to such is wave her hand a little dismissively. "I said later. Call your new potential toy - just be sure ta gimme a show~."

Then just like that, Quila's alone again. Sort of. Mostly. Sighing, she reaches up for the linkpearl that's paired to her tomestone. "Karuis...found us a place to train."

"Ah, and here I thought I was gonna resign to watching the rain bounce off the bulkhead. Where am I meeting you?"

Xe has busied xemselves with taking up a curled up position somewhere in one of the Outlaw's more out of the way pieces of real estate, some cross beams nearby to some of the larger guns. Xe hops down from their Miqo accessible locale as xe wait for the exact location, tail flicking idly behind xem.

"You grab a place ground side, I assume?

"Nah. Arcadia's letting us pick a room," she explains but doesn't. "I figure one of the cargo bays is gonna be best, yeah?"

She's already making her way through the massive ship. She's trying to find where the cargo bays actually are, given she's near the bridge out of habit.

"Long as we have permission, that's fine with me. And aye, cargo bay works fine."

Xe didn't really require an explanation, everything after talking house, living through the memories of others, a massive skeleton trying to kill xem, and whatever the fuck the past few moons have been...

Xe assumes the Arcadia is just as alive as anyone else, and she told Quila what room to use. As xe make their way over to the other airship, xe give some idle thoughts to where precisely in the cargo bay they were meeting before deciding that finding out could be the adventure. Xe gives a slight bow of respect as xe come aboard the Arcadia before xe start moving like a shade through the halls, the map the Viera had shown before of this great airship bouncing about between their ears; as xe try to find... oh, there she is. By providence, luck, or maybe just The Arcadia being well designed xe spot the Garlean and give a half-wave, tail flicking behind xem.

"Didn't get lost, did we? Would be a little concerned if you did."

"Pfft, she'd let me if only to watch in sadistic amusement," she chirps as she turns, startling a little physically due to their lack of footfalls. "But, there are multiple cargo bays here. This is just the first one I've found. This ship is MASSIVE, and I feel like it's some sort of game to her to not just...give me a map."

"I could certainly see that; watching people wander around aimlessly can be pretty hilarious." The Seeker blinks at the noise before rubbing the back of their head as xe put on a small smile. "Sorry, someone had the bright idea to put a bell on me when I was young, fucking menace ever since, apparently. But! I have a map.. kind of, at least I remember the floor plans or whatnot. Rika managed to snag, so I mostly know my way around.. but that doesn't stop me from being thankful that I haven't gotten lost.. yet."

Xe glances about the cargo bay for a moment before turning their gaze back to her and motioning to her, finding a nearby support beam to lean on.

"So, what's the plan for today? Am I starting with teaching you the basics of Thavnarian dance fighting, or are we sparring to see where you are in hand to hand generally and working from there?"

At this point, she's in a pair of shorts (black), stockings (dark purple), her almost-trademark boots (black & gold), and one of those tank tops that the Isghardians were handing out to crafters (wine red). While she doesn't have Talekeeper with her, at least, as far as can be seen, she's still wearing the Warmage magicite Locke'd given her as a pendant to the collar she seems to wear 24/7.

When he speaks of the bell, she ends up giggling a little, trying to picture xe with a collar bell...which was surprisingly easy.

"I'm thinking we try some hand-to-hand so you can figure outplacement," she notes with something of a wicked grin, suddenly ramping towards manic. "Just don't go easy on me."

Xe has swapped over to something more warm with their Bozjan coat now missing for The Twelve only know how long. So the Seeker has thrown on a currant purple anemos gambison, some modified jet black strife pants, and one of their constantly swapping pairs of combat boots, these ones an Alliance make in soot black. Xe still has the twin onyx and dark amber revolvers gifted to xem by Locke on their belt though, besides that, xe aren't carrying any type of polearms. The two accessories that stand out are a watch on their left wrist that has a faint hint of aetheric energy coming off of it and a dull grey gunmetal tin clipped on their right, just about the size of a soul stone.

Xe raises a brow at the snickering and just shake their head a little; that smile from before staying before it turns into a grin at she's request.

"I wasn't planning on it; it wouldn't be an accurate assessment if I did take it easy. So I'll give you one warning before we do go; if you're gonna try and flow again, I'll start using my stone. On your mark, Aquila."

As soon as those words leave the Seeker, their demeanour switches with all the effort of a light switch, mismatched gaze narrowing as xe drop into a defensive stance, the style more reminiscent of an Imperial martial discipline than anything else.

"I uh...kinda don't know how to make those moves otherwise, so game on?" she replies as she falls into...absolutely no stance. There's nothing. Her stance is absolutely neutral all around, and suddenly, all but the most necessary of movements evaporates as she begins to focus on xem. It's slow, but there's a pronounced shift in her entire being, down to an aetheric level. A change she doesn't seem to be aware of.

She's almost maddening to fight. Any and all movement happens with barely a microsecond of warning, yet all of them still flow as though she's dancing, not fighting. Even watching the triangle, her telegraphs are tiny as hell; she always falls back to neutral if there's time, otherwise flowing from one motion to the next as xe fight.

And just like that, she blinks into the Lifestream to close the distance, ejecting just in reach of xe - as she had on the deck, only this time with the intent of actually striking him right in the solar plexus.

Xe would have clarified that xe head meant the blinking manoeuvre, but when xe takes in that she lacks stance, any of those thoughts leave xir mind. The Seeker catches the shift instance, their ears pinning back and tail puffing up as xe prepare for that same focus xe encountered on the deck of The Outlaw.

The dance-like flow to the spar thus far and the speed on display put the Seeker right in their element, moving with all of the grace that being both a Miqo'te and professional performer granted them as xe keep in sync with the Garlean. The Seeker shifts between and around styles like breathing the longer the fight goes on, prodding and poking at her defences to find her responses and strengths to certain things. The Seeker seems to favour a style favoured by Doman resistance cells, sending out elbows and fist and knee strikes in rapid succession.

Like a viper, the Seeker waited for that shift in the air as she went into the Lifestream. Xe know that point for point, xe weren't going to be able to match the manoeuvre for sheer speed, so instead, xe rely on the anticipation of the strike's previous flow. With an utter lack of hesitation, the Seeker moves to send out a swift dragoon kick, less focused on power but more on sheer speed as it snaps the air around the two. xir's body twists for the kick and hopefully moves the blow to somewhere less disastrous should it land. Xe was not about to hold back here, she deserved the Seeker at their best, and xe weren't one to disappoint.

Given that xe is a clever catte, xe'll quickly pick up on certain hallmarks of what she's capable of combatively: one of her biggest strengths is the lack of movement telegraphing, as it makes finding any sort of opening complex, at first. While her eyes seem to be unfocused, she locked onto the triangle that's formed by the Miqo'te's collarbones and sternum, that distant gaze seeming to more stare into their soul than past xem.

Blinking back into a kick sends her strike wide, the palm of her hand skimming along the side of his leg as she adjusts to try and block the kick before sliding around the side of Karius' body. Should she slide past him, her next attack is towards the middle of his lower back - another snapping strike with a bit of aether behind it, her second hand following to make a small follow-up strike.

With a better sense of what xe were working with when it came to her, the Seeker decides to switch up tactics. Xe shifts energy from trying to read the Garlean's movements to instead focusing on following through on their own and keeping a sense of spatial awareness in the room. Xe decides to eat the strike to their lower back, the energy needed to counter that far too much of a gamble; the weaker follow-up was a different story, however.

Turning on a dime on their heel, xe move to face she, using the speed and momentum of the rapid turn to try and veer the strike off to their left with their palm. Now fully facing she and the distance relatively short, xe go on the offensive, taking a far more aggressive stance as xe unleash a combination of palm and knee strikes. Xe wasn't relying on all of them to hit but instead overwhelming the other fighter with a complete switch from their previously tight defence. Xir's aim at the moment seemed to get the two of them out to a far smaller section of the cargo bay or at least push them to fight closer to this area.

Surprisingly, she doesn't smile at landing the strike. In fact, her expression is little more than deadpan as xe launch the continuous series of strikes. At first, she manages to keep up on blocking or redirecting the hits, but the longer xe continues the tactic, the more she has to pivot or dodge than she does block. Finally, it's becoming clear xir is going to overwhelm her with the rapid strikes...

...and as the Miqo'te overwhelms her, she blinks into the Lifestream, crossing through xe before flashing back into existence at their back. She's already executing a roundhouse kick as she solidifies, aiming for her opponent's middle back.

The Seeker was not about to let up the advantage of xir's rapid combos as xe continues to press her further into the smaller section of the cargo hold, boots squeaking against the metal floor as their speed increases. xe were, however, incredibly aware that xe couldn't keep it up forever; either she would come right for their throat or-

The sensation of being teleported through gets xem to shiver, warning xem what may be coming alongside dreading that blink. Unfortunately, there just isn't enough time for xem to dodge the strike, at least not in a way that wouldn't give her another big opening to exploit. So xe quickly turn on their heel and brace their arms up to catch the blow, which still sends the Seeker sliding back and does some solid damage. Xe hiss in pain as xe take a moment to centre xemselves before rushing into the Garlean's space. xir's method swaps now to something far faster, using their stone to gather as much momentum and speed as xe can while bleeding into these dancer-like strikes and spins. Thavnairian dance fighting, and xe gave her a crash course like an Imperial locomotive coming down the tracks.

Active learning at this speed is possible for the Warmage, though it was more of a slow build-up rather than a sudden gift of knowledge the way it can be when there's less going on. Falling back to focusing on dodging more than redirecting or blocking, xe would start to notice the more xe does a particular mood or technique, the more likely it is that she works it into her side of the fighting. With movements the Miqo'te's using heavily, she can almost perfectly mirror them; with the less frequent movements, she's a little unstable and erratic, her form nowhere near as tight and proper.

The continued attacks again start to press her, causing her to play defensive more than offensive.

Xe's next high kick ends with a different result: she doesn't attempt to block, redirect, or dodge such the way she has been. No, instead, she just...bends back at the waist, forming an almost perfect arch as her hands drop to the floor behind her. And then she pushes her feet off of the floor, intent of kicking her opponent with each foot as she shifts into a handstand before vaulting from such to her feet - facing xe, but several fulms away now.

As xe starts to notice she putting xir's techniques into her fighting styles and the like, that.. certainly gets a reaction from xem. But, then, something snaps from behind their crimson and amber eyes. The Seeker continues darting into she's space as much as xe can up until that next high kick, eyes going a bit wide as xe watch that arch and then the kick lands.

The hit lands nicely and sends xe sliding back, getting their tail to puff up and to show off their sharp canines, which are considerably sharper and pointed than even a vast majority of Keepers. Unfortunately, this fact doesn't stay in the spotlight for long as black aether sparks around xem as xe concentrates on their stone and go on an onslaught. Xe was going to put pressure on the fact she couldn't precisely copy their techniques perfectly or keep up with their speed to the same extent. If she continued using flow, then xe wasn't going to go easy, sending forth kick after dashing elbow to shin strike. One of the main strikes xe go into xe get right in her face and attempt a sweeping kick the Garlean before spinning into another kick to her midsection.

The initial onslaught causes her to start losing ground rapidly, causing her to dart backwards as she refocuses on trying to dodge as many of the strikes as possible. However, the moment the Seeker starts to focus on her face, she blinks backwards three separate times - putting as much distance as possible between them. Although she retreats, xe' leg sweep fully lands while the second is more of a light graze across her stomach.

She crashes to the floor as she exists the Lifestream the third time, rolling several times due to the force of the impact. Such is only stopped when the back of her upper body slams into the metal wall with a loud clanging thud. For a few heartbeats, she's propped up against the wall before her eyes fully roll back into her head as she falls sideways.

Xe was in the zone and was hard-pressed to get out of it, especially with the amount of blinking around the place that she was doing. Despite the serious expression on their face, xe were having so much fun with all of this. Xe goes to try and bring down another combination when xe hear that crash.

Xe pauses a few fulms away from the Garlean before their eyes go wide, and xe dart over to her side. Then, cursing under their breath as xe tries to force xemselves to not only calm down but try to figure out what might be wrong with their limited medical experience.

"Shit, shit... Aquila, are you alright?"

((Adapted from an RP session with Karuis.))

[acadimia]

After making a grand total of 11 cheatsheets since starting university less than a year ago (I know, my uni is weird), I wanted to share some of my tips and tricks for making the most effective cheatsheet for your needs! They're a hassle to make, but depending on how you make yours, it could either be an incredibly useful resource or just an extra sheet of paper on your desk.

(By "cheatsheet", I mean a typically printer paper-sized memory aid, usually handwritten, that is allowed to be brought into an exam.)

1. You don’t need to write small, nor do you need to write a lot.

Some people go out of their way to buy 0.1mm pens to cram everything they can onto a cheatsheet. But okay, hear me out: unless you plan on using your cheatsheet to study (more on this later), what is the point of writing as much as you can? It is super difficult to find the exact piece of information that you need in the stressful environment of an exam, especially when you’ve written in the equivalent of size 4 font and your page is cluttered with information you definitely know . And honestly, for most exams, it’s a waste of time trying to look at your cheatsheet. Just put down whatever you’ll definitely need; the rest will only slow you down or overwhelm you.

2. Use colours, or at least find some way to keep it organized.

Once again, you need to spend as little time as possible looking at your cheatsheet in an exam. If the exam allows cheatsheets, the class probably has something else to up the difficulty level of exams. In my experience, it’s usually either application questions or a time crunch, sometimes both. So, make your cheatsheet efficient. Colour-code it so you know what to look for in order to find any given piece of information. Find some sort of format, so that you also know where exactly to look.

3. Don’t wait until last minute to make it. If it comes to that point, just put down the major points and sleep.

There are so many reasons why you shouldn’t do this. Just trust me, my lowest exam marks are from exams where I made a cheatsheet the night before. You shouldn’t be staying up the night before your exam. Copying the textbook onto a sheet of printer paper isn’t effective studying. Most importantly, your cheatsheet becomes so much more effective when you’ve actually done practice exams with it. Or else, how would you know how well it actually functions and what else you should add?

4. It doesn't need to be perfect.

Please don’t spend too much time on your cheatsheet. Obviously, interpret this advice based on practice exams and the scope of whatever course you're taking, but don't get to a point where you're relying on your "perfect" cheatsheet to pass the exam. Instead, spend your time studying the material and question formats so that you almost don't need your cheatsheet. No matter how informative or detailed your cheatsheet is, it won't matter if you don't have time to use it during the exam, or if you haven't done enough practice so you don't know how to format the cheatsheet's information.

5. Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing.

I think this goes without saying for practically anything, really. Just do you. If the prof says you’re allowed a single piece of printer paper, front and back, it doesn’t mean that you need to fill that. Nor does it mean that you should be intimidated when you walk into the exam and see that you’re the only person who hasn’t filled up your cheatsheet completely. Do whatever you need to succeed. If spending a few extra hours cramming information onto your cheatsheet won’t help you, then don’t do that. If it will, then don’t let me and my opinions stop you.

1. For the stuff that you actually don’t know and isn’t worthwhile to memorize

This is pretty obvious, but you should prioritize the stuff that you actually don’t know and is too difficult to memorize. For example, the 20 amino acids for Biology. 

2. Diagram compilation

Personally, I think that the most useful thing you can do with your cheatsheet is to add diagrams and charts. They are the easiest thing to find on your cheatsheet. Also, diagrams are able to sum up a whole list of details, so you don’t need to worry about missing something. It is always useful to refer to your diagrams for inspiration!

3. Checklist

What are the three points you need to include to describe a histogram? What steps does the prof want you to do to show autosomal dominance? If you are someone who often loses marks because of missing details or the way you format your answers, your cheatsheet can function as a checklist. Write down exactly what you need to address to get full marks on certain types of questions.

4. Personalized formula sheet

If you are anything like me (ie. I am so afraid of Math that I chose not to major in Biochemistry just so I don't have to do Calc III), then writing out some formulas in the way that you like them written might be useful, even if you are given a formula sheet. It's a comfort thing.

5. Study guide

As a heads up, this is the only situation where I would condone writing as much as possible on your formula sheet. If you're the type of person who studies by copying out your notes (ie. you memorize things by writing them out), then you might as well kill two birds with one stone and just copy your notes onto your cheatsheet. But, then again, your cheatsheet will probably be less functional during the exam, so do this at your own discretion.

Here are two of my own cheatsheets, to illustrate some of my points. The first one is for Biology, the second one is for Statistics. 

I don’t keep a consistent colour code, but generally, red is for categories or units, blue is for definitions or important terms, and blue underline is for things I commonly forget or refer to (ie. the 4 factors affecting membrane fluidity). The units follow the order that we learned them in class. Although I tend to write small and there is a lot more information than strictly necessary, I can easily find anything I’m looking for.

Here’s the bottom line: do whatever is the most useful for you!! These are just a few things that have worked for me and some people around me, but do whatever will help you succeed.

Happy studying, everyone!

[orionsangel86]

I was the one with the ask. I want to apologize. I didn't wanna come across as rude. I love your blog. It was an honest question, since I haven't seen any spoilers which indicate that Cas and Dean are gonna make up. Also I have only seen spoilers where they said that the conflicts goes on after ep 9. Last thing was that Jensen didn't mention Cas as a reason for Dean being sad. But I saw ppl saying that Dean is gonna be shedding tears over Cas. I'd like to know if there's any reference material.

Okay so the first thing I need to stress here as in all cases is this: PR is not showrunning. I know I know, we say it all the time. You can’t really rely on small soundbites from the actors taken from interviews and put into clickbait articles usually to satisfy a specific writers agenda depending on the article they are writing. 

The second thing to remember: People are going to hype up and sensationalise things on social media to gain attention, likes, notes, etc. You cannot rely on this information either.

What we actually know:

Misha said this: “Cas will return to the bunker and the boys. He’ll be sort of driven back into collaborating with them because we’re still confronting the big bad, which is God. But that tension between Cas and Dean will play out for some time, and we won’t really have a resolution to that. I think the audience, and frankly Cas, will finally understand what it is that’s upsetting Dean so much in episode 9. So we’re a ways off from that arc feeling like it’s resolved.”

This quote is from this article.

Then at DCCon the other weekend, the last question asked by Mel aka @/mishasdiary on Twitter, was basically to know if Dean and Cas patch things up and Jensen answered this:

“I will say this, there is an answer to your question in the show. It will be in episode 9 which we just finished. Let’s just say that Dean has a moment by himself, where he prays to Cas. That is a bit of a confession on why he feels the way he feels and why he treated Cas the way he treated him.”

You can see the answer here at about 58 minutes in (last question).

In your ask you sent me yesterday, you also referred to another article (link here) written with soundbites from Jensen. I believe you were referring to this:

"I think the state of his brother always worries Dean. That's who he fights for," Jensen Ackles told TV Guide. "When that support, that base strength in his life starts to waver and [he] starts to second guess himself, that will certainly affect Dean in a way of, 'I can't let him go down this road' or 'I need to figure out a way to help him out.' So it'll be a struggle, not against each other, but for each other. Sam is struggling to find a purpose and Dean is struggling to help Sam find purpose."

But this is standard talk from Jensen and it is also correct so I don’t see why anyone would read this and feel threatened about Dean’s relationship with Cas? Come on now, we aren’t like Bronly’s threatened by Cas’s mere presence. This is very true what Jensen is saying because the brothers are toxically codependent. But there is a true bond between them which has been poisoned over time. Yes Dean will be worried about Sam because Dean is always worried about Sam, but Sam is not part of the Dean and Cas break up narrative.

Jensen also had this to say which I thought was interesting:

[about Sam hypothetically dying] "That would have to be a bridge crossed when he came to it," Ackles said. "Right now, and for a long time, Sam's been the reason that Dean keeps fighting. If you take that away from him, then what does he have? Is there a will to keep going? I don't know how that would shape up from Dean's perspective. Maybe he finds something to fight for or maybe he finds somebody to fight with. Maybe he calls it quits."

So this is Jensen contemplating what life would be like for Dean without Sam, and he’s hardly saying “well if Sam died Dean would also want to die” because Jensen most likely knows that isn’t the case anymore. Bobo has been picking apart that particular arc ever since he wrote Red Meat. 

So anyway, brushing off Jensen’s interview aside as nothing even remotely alarming or concerning for DeanCas fans (because we do NOT see Sam as a threat to our ship), lets talk about the prayer. We got Jensen’s spoiler first, and given this was fresh in Jensen’s mind, only shortly after he filmed it, I reckon we can safely assume that what he has told us is at least somewhat accurate (though we cannot of course account for how this may be cut in the editing room).

Episode 9 is Bobo’s episode. Bobo is basically holding the mantle for the DeanCas emotional arc this season (and last season) so I fully expect this to be the next big turning point in Dean and Cas’s relationship. Jensen has confirmed that when Dean is alone, he prays to Cas.

This is already setting a super intimate scene. Dean rarely prays as it is. We haven’t seen him pray to Cas since season 9. The fact that he is alone and not with Sam also confirms the level of intimacy. We can assume that Dean sought privacy for this prayer.

Now, Jensen goes on to say that Dean will explain how he feels and why he treated Cas how he did. This is already sounding like a proper explanation and potentially an apology. We will learn the mystery of why Dean (in Misha’s words) has been acting like such a prick. I never had any doubt that they would eventually explain it. I trust Bobo has planned this all out and knows what he is doing. He likes exploring Dean’s emotional responses - anger comes from fear and worry. Dean is terrified. That is usually why he acts out. Bobo has previously confirmed this and it was even stated in the show itself in Bobo’s episode 14x09 via Kaia. I think that Dean’s treatment of Cas is based on fear. This is why we are so excited (when I say “we” here, I mean me and the general group of wonderful people I scream with daily about this dumb show aka a bunch of meta writers or at least meta literate people). So Jensen has confirmed that we will get a proper explanation of WHY he treated Cas and also HIS FEELINGS on the matter. 

The MOST interesting part of Jensen’s spoiler, is that he called the whole thing a CONFESSION. Dude. The last time Dean confessed to anything was in a church and it almost gave me a heart attack. Since that scene was the closest this show has ever come so far to Dean actually coming out of the fucking closet.

So not only is this an intimate prayer to Cas, an explanation of his bad treatment of Cas and an admittance of his feelings over the whole thing, its also a confession. 

Interesting choice of words Jensen. Confession to what exactly? Because this is starting to feel suspiciously like a very profound moment between our two boys. It’s clearly an important scene. 

Then Misha on top of this, has confirmed that Cas hears the prayer. Which yay for starters, and also think about how he explained the situation:

“But that tension between Cas and Dean will play out for some time, and we won’t really have a resolution to that. I think the audience, and frankly Cas, will finally understand what it is that’s upsetting Dean so much in episode 9. So we’re a ways off from that arc feeling like it’s resolved.”

You have to read this entire paragraph as one: 

The tension will play out for sometime but Cas and the audience will understand what the deal is in episode 9. So we are a way off from that arcs resolution.

When Misha was talking about the resolution being way off, he was talking about the time between now and episode 9. He confirms that it is at least somewhat resolved in episode 9. That’s what I interpret as being implied here anyway. 

This plus Jensen’s entire answer was to the question “when will Dean and Cas patch things up?” Jensen answered “episode 9″.

Like??? How are people misunderstanding this and blowing it so far out of proportion? Bitter people are so desperate to cling to their negativity that they are totally misinterpreting the information they are being given. It’s extremely frustrating.

Anyway, the one other gripe you had was about Dean’s prayer being about Sam or because he is worried about Sam. Okay except that has come out of absolutely nowhere other than bitters who are actually threatened by Sam which I find utterly ridiculous. So what if the prayer is triggered by Sam? Maybe Sam is in a perilous situation and Dean doesn’t know what to do so he prays. I mean, is that really so bad? Dean usually IS motivated by Sam, so it’s not exactly a huge deal. The main thing to focus on here is that the prayer will be about Dean and Cas and THEIR issues. It will resolve THAT ARC. The arc that doesn’t involve Sam. 

Honestly, I don’t think that Dean’s prayer will be triggered by Sam though. Because Sam has never been part of this particular arc that Bobo has been writing. I mean maybe its possible that the whole thing could be triggered by Sam yelling at Dean to sort out his shit with Cas because they are stronger together and Sam is fed up of being stuck in the middle in which case GREAT because I would LOVE to see more exasperated Sam telling his brother to talk to his estranged husband. 12x10 is one of my all time favourite episodes BECAUSE OF SAM.

But again, I don’t think that an intimate private prayer confession from Dean to Cas will have anything to do with Sam because quite frankly, I can’t see how to fit him in a way that makes sense outside of my own 12x10 repeat above. 

So please, stop panicking over things we don’t know. Stop making negative assumptions. Focus on the good stuff and enjoy what the show is giving us right now. I’m still riding the DeanCas break up scene high because that shit was romantic AF and no one can tell me otherwise. I’m still amazed that in this shows final season Dean and Cas’s emotional arc is getting pushed into the A plot. In all the years of watching this show this has only ever been the case once before and that was in 13x01-13x06. This is a huge deal. Enjoy it and stop letting negative Nancy’s drag you down.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Boxing Day Extravaganza boop Jimmy: Okay so we know they're taking the train Jimmy: which appaz only takes like 35 mins so that's nice, not to have to entertain the kids for an age Jimmy: cos everywhere would be busy and hellish given that it's boxing day Janis: nice lil' journey, no one has time to get antsy, probably only need to do one hellish train toilet moment per child lol Jimmy: we can all get arty because Jimothy promised to keep doing the bae daily masterpieces Janis: get a table seat, love that for yous Jimmy: Cass just on her phone 🎧 being antisocial the whole time, love you gal, but the rest of us are living our best lives Jimmy: having hot chocolate and all the left over gingerbread and other festive snacks like 😁 Janis: you'll end up having an alright time in your own tween way don't worry Janis: the plethora of christmas toys that you've simply had to bring Jimmy: maybe you can have a Lisa beach friends moment Janis: that'd be cute, some kids at the arcade or something Jimmy: much more British and chill because we haven't stolen Ian's car for you to cover with 🐚s sadly Janis: I used to make friends on hols, live laugh love with whatever kids have also been dragged to Skerries lol Jimmy: I did not which tells you everything you need to know about how shy I was and how much my sister didn't want us to have other friends when we were kids Janis: gatekeeper trace so rude Janis: okay, so we're getting there, what do we wanna hit, obviously all the beachy cliches we can and also some festive ones Jimmy: gonna have a dip in the sea even though it's freezing af even if you only put your feet in lads Jimmy: the awkward moment when you think you only have a day here so you're gonna cram it all in and then be like oh Janis: don't be babies you can do it Janis: not the actual babies though, you will die Jimmy: stay with Cass even though I'm certain Libi will wanna do it Janis: she will be tryna run lmao Jimmy: soz for that Cass Jimmy: you'll be able to go off with your mates when you meet them, just give jj the chance to be competitive in the sea for a sec Jimmy: obvs gotta win something piss easy in the arcade and then lowkey bankrupt yourself trying to get the same thing for the other kid as always happened to my dad LOL Janis: hohaha yes Janis: also last time we went to an arcade you could get gross sour sweets with the tickets so the kids will be pinging Jimmy: love that Jimmy: Jimothy see how many you can fit in your mouth/eat because I would Janis: changing money into all the 2ps for the penny falls and having the cup for the money fun Jimmy: I bloody love an arcade tbh all that good stuff and beach fun and snow fun because it has to snow more for the trains to stop running since you got there okay Janis: when you realize it's coming down fast hun Janis: and I oop Jimmy: should've tried to leave as soon as the snow started but we're not because we don't wanna Jimmy: even though that phone call to Ian to tell him you aren't coming back will be lovely and put you in a great mood Janis: like you LOVE spending time with your kids ok sir Janis: everyone gonna be lowkey pissed soz weather happens lads Jimmy: we're with all our fave peeps we'll soon cheer up and live our best lives Jimmy: we definitely need there to be some board games in this caravan Jimmy: crack out the uno Janis: its not like you're without shelter and warmth, everyone will be fine, we're all buzzing lbr Janis: yes, all the board games, there'll at least be a telly to watch festive shit on Jimmy: Jimothy will make so much tea, we'll be cosy Janis: you should also eat comfort food like beans on toast ty Jimmy: make a little soft world/den for the bubs Janis: campout in the lounge 'cos you're not gonna wanna share a room alone but also don't wanna be separated so enjoy the double moment Cass Jimmy: winning her over with that Janis: at least that's an excuse if we want to message 'cos no privacy whilst they're out here snuggling Jimmy: true that's a good idea Jimmy: and won't wanna wake them by talking out loud when they're eventually asleep which would probably take forever cos buzzing Janis: my thoughts exactly, and it means we can ref a bit without literally sitting here listing every possible thing ourselves Jimmy: ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jimmy: 👍? Janis: can't really accuse you of making it snow Janis: but my foot does feel in danger again 🪓💘 Jimmy: just do 🌧 me Janis: next doodle sorted Janis: get loads of likes Jimmy: blank page would an' all long as I do a #goals caption Janis: show off Janis: not much chance of me giving you #goals muse inspo in day old clothes so you'll have to rely on that clout Jimmy: LITERALLY the opposite, about the muse not my 🎨 Jimmy: and there's every chance if you don't wear any clothes, duh Janis: you still have to think up the words Janis: and 🔥 emoji usage 🙌😩 Jimmy: nowt challenging about that Jimmy: 😍💕or 🤤 Janis: how much chance do you reckon there is of no clothes Janis: meant to be 🥶 to death here Jimmy: depends how 🔥 you reckon I am Janis: 💯 Janis: obviously Jimmy: but I get it, any excuse for a shopping trip, girl Janis: 🤑🛍😍 Janis: you know me so well Jimmy: meant to be working tomorrow, take your chance while there's still 💰 to be after Janis: bummer Janis: it should clear soon, can't have you pining for it too hard, like Jimmy: 🥺☕💔🎻😭 Jimmy: @ my manager before he has chance to miss me Janis: *replace you Janis: 😬😶 Jimmy: 😱😱 Janis: literally who said that, omg Janis: so rude! Jimmy: brb gotta 👻 there to serve some lattes Janis: yeah, you'll need to wife it before you try and leave me with 3 kids Jimmy: weren't no 💍 in the grabbers, looks like we're going shopping after all, babe Janis: missed a trick there, honestly Janis: probably had a ring pop if we'd looked harder Jimmy: Libi'd have that right off you, mate Jimmy: don't even have to jilt you Jimmy: replaced mid-proposal Janis: true Janis: and she needs no more sugar ever again Janis: ❌ Janis: you'll have to just stay put, soz Jimmy: were gonna get you one of them mood rings but it'd give the game away by saying you weren't ALWAYS 😍 Jimmy: only need the one fan 👀 Janis: how dare you doubt my acting abilities Janis: ALWAYS on and ready for my close up Jimmy: that ain't acting it's 🔮 OBVS Janis: magic, talent Janis: all the same to me 🥇👑 Jimmy: alright bighead, go on Janis: go on what? Jimmy: always on, you said Jimmy: impress me with one of your talents Janis: here and now? Jimmy: might be on for a bit weren't what you said Janis: Libi's already seen you partially clothed once Janis: not trying to traumatize them permanently Jimmy: what you bringing me into it for? it's your talent Janis: already shown you how to juggle too Jimmy: there's nowt else? Janis: rude Janis: you made me sing to you as well, if you recall Jimmy: tah for the reminder to send that to Pete Jimmy: he's looking for a lead 🎤 so I've heard Janis: I'd literally kill you Jimmy: shouldn't have to beg you Jimmy: you know that's all I want Janis: 😤 Janis: obviously all I want it to have an ill-fated romance with Pete but you stagemomming me was not part of the dream Jimmy: you look SO cute when you're fuming Jimmy: what's your plan then? Janis: find a totally natural way to drop hints that I'm dead talented over my lattes, duh Janis: writing lyrics in a notebook, being SO cute 🤔 Jimmy: he's got a girlfriend with a normal sized head, but I think he can read so you're probably on to something there with the last bit Janis: normal? Janis: how...exciting Jimmy: you'll find a natural way to drop hints you're after a threesome an' all I'm sure Janis: sounds like a 🥈 move Janis: if I can't get her chucked what is the point Jimmy: perfect for you, that Janis: in no world am I runner-up Janis: fake or otherwise Jimmy: not to her, just to me Janis: you don't do co-workers, you're disqualified Jimmy: you reckon you could get her chucked but I couldn't get him sacked Janis: 😱 Janis: then comfort him, that's evil Janis: okay 💀👑 Jimmy: 😈 Jimmy: haven't seen her for ages, bit of normality for you, that Janis: me? Janis: she's your favourite customer Janis: clearly spend loads of time chatting and plotting Jimmy: that's Tammy, how dare you Jimmy: she orders loads Janis: she needs the energy for her tiktok dances Janis: don't call her fat Jimmy: that were you Jimmy: I would NEVER Janis: nah, 'course not Janis: she's your bestie Jimmy: #BFF Jimmy: but that's you an' all so Jimmy: 💔 for her Janis: I'm not sharing Jimmy: I'm not making you Janis: you know she'd take a bigger piece Jimmy: she'd try but you'd 🥊 her Janis: you want me to fight for you Jimmy: if she's after me, you're gonna have to protect me Janis: alright Janis: guess I don't wanna see you squashed to death Jimmy: get these bandages off first before I need another set Janis: you can go have an ice bath Janis: if you wanna Jimmy: why would I want that? Jimmy: sounds fucking horrible Janis: not because you're being too 🥵 idiot Janis: to help with the swelling Jimmy: 🙄 I got that Janis: you went in the sea Janis: you just have to sit for a bit longer Jimmy: you didn't wanna be left with 3 kids a bit ago Jimmy: make up your mind, Jeanette Janis: later then Janis: just don't scream and wake them up Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 Janis: we'll 👀 Jimmy: yeah and you won't hear nowt Janis: 😏 Janis: did it hurt less today Jimmy: [throws a cushion at her for the 😏 and to distract from having to answer that because probably hurt more if anything all the fun and games they've done today] Janis: [inadvertantly start a pillow fight here which you need to then calm back down] Janis: don't think I didn't notice Jimmy: ? Janis: you didn't answer Jimmy: you reckon I never do Janis: it speaks volumes Janis: you're alright Jimmy: there you go then Janis: if you're alright with it being inferred, yeah Jimmy: dunno about your 🤓🗨 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: I'm alright, leave it out Janis: fine Janis: no hot chocolate for you Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: you're SO rude Janis: yep Janis: that's what you get Jimmy: but Jimmy: we're best mates Janis: maybe Janis: but Bobbys nicer to me so he's getting extra marshmallows Jimmy: it were you going on about how you were gonna be nice to me Jimmy: should've known it were bollocks Janis: you threw the first pillow, mate Jimmy: you chucked out a pisstakey 😏 before that Jimmy: weren't me who started it Janis: not my fault you're known for being well loud Jimmy: isn't it? Jimmy: I'd say it were your fault Janis: don't make me 😏 again Jimmy: alright I'll make you 😳 Janis: I'll blame the ☕s Jimmy: you want a hand? Janis: [throw a LOOK from your kitchen area] Jimmy: [come on over boy and be giving her a LOOK back the entire time obvs] Janis: [do the thing where the kitchen is too small so you're lowkey just in each other's way the whole time in a #mood of a moment like so much more of a hindrance than a help] Jimmy: [and also the thing where you kiss only to break apart as if nothing happened if anyone notices] Janis: [Bobby would be used to you having a gf about as the last one moved herself in but Libi is not so she'd be the kind of kid to be like UMMMMMMM] Jimmy: [Oh Libi you are such an icon] Janis: [just like why you kissing are you boyfriend and girlfriend, Janis like shh bitch] Jimmy: [Jimothy's turn to be 😏 irl] Janis: [when you can't be like NO 'cos how confusing for the kids but you're like not gonna confess my love gal, hush, Libi is so gonna try and smooch Bobby watch out boy] Jimmy: [so here for that adorableness tbh] Janis: [when lil kids are like this is my boyfriend lmao] Janis: you've been replaced now Janis: how does it feel 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻😭😭😭 Janis: that's what you get Janis: dumping me mid proposal Jimmy: you keep saying that Jimmy: but from here I ain't proposed yet Janis: don't let on Janis: she'll be raging Jimmy: I'll take her with me tomorrow when I go pick the 💍 Jimmy: get her back on side Janis: got a plan for everything, you Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: wait until its later in the year and I'm jonesing for more 🎁 again Jimmy: no need, you can have owt you want whenever you want it Jimmy: there's the plan, like Janis: well goals 😍😍 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: if nothing else Janis: plenty of 🌨 to play with tomorrow Jimmy: I do take requests Jimmy: have a 💭 what ⛄ you want Janis: well you are pretty skilled Janis: have to think of something challenging Jimmy: you've got all night Janis: if they ever go to sleep Jimmy: you'll have to read them a long boring story Janis: ❌ voices ❌ personal cameos for you kids Jimmy: get Bill's 👻 in Jimmy: owt of his'll get the job done Janis: 😱😱 so true but you didn't have to go there, babe Jimmy: he can't be fuming that I want you to stay with me, it's his whole brand Janis: 🤞 he don't get too carried away with your 💀 scene now or they'll be having nightmares and then there'll be no time for ⛄ Jimmy: they'll be able to hack it Janis: hack you up into lots of pieces Jimmy: don't matter about me, long as no 🐕s are 💀💀💀 Janis: if nothing he knows his audience Jimmy: I get it, you wanna marry him Janis: pretty sure he's married Janis: bet he's got more than 3 kids as well Jimmy: and what you're gonna let that stop you? doubt that Janis: rude Janis: breaking up Pete and his groupie is one thing Janis: homewrecking is another Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you're 👌 at me now Jimmy: I just did do Jimmy: you'll be chuffed to know I had a look and he has got 3 kids Jimmy: one of them was a twin called Judith, so you might be his daughter Janis: like he had twins or one survived Janis: I'll take being the 💀 one if that's the option Jimmy: the dead one was a lad Janis: ugh Janis: great Janis: more lesbian jokes Jimmy: we've 💀💀💀 them, you're alright Janis: had no idea Judith was such an old name Jimmy: can't say I ain't taught you owt 🤓 Jimmy: know my audience an' all Janis: can't help yourself 🤓 Janis: I reckon Jimmy: you can't help nerd flirting with me, more like Jimmy: about to crack the chess set out, you Janis: chequers, maybe Jimmy: dunno never played Janis: just chess for thick people Janis: less 🤔🤓 more 🥴🤯 Jimmy: still too northern 💔 what were I gonna do make the bits out of 🥔 Janis: don't reckon we've got it in so you're safe Jimmy: what do you wanna do instead? Janis: that's the question Jimmy: answer it then Jimmy: [a LOOK] Janis: [😳] Janis: it's not obvious? Jimmy: might be but it should be just as obvious that I wanna hear it Janis: how badly I want some alone time with you just increased Jimmy: 🚬? Janis: worth a go Jimmy: [do your best to try and escape lads] Janis: [probably enough into our hot chocolate/festive film to give you a few minutes here] Jimmy: [take your chance and leg it] Janis: [lord knows you need the moment Jimmy: [it's deserved you didn't know you'd still be here with all these kids and no privacy whatsoever] Janis: [what a time, at least you don't have to go home and separate 'cos heaven forbid] Jimmy: [that would suck, the time between boxing day and nye is weird enough if you like your fam and aren't a highkey teen in love so] Janis: [hence 'I missed you' like you've not spent forever together at this point and barely been apart] Jimmy: [hence the most genuine smile ever like an adorable nerd because whatever he was expecting her to say was not that but we're here for it] Janis: [when you go to nudge him like shut up but it's more of a feelsy lean and we all know it 'sorry about missing work' 'cos we feel bad even if there's fuck all we can or could do about it] Jimmy: [always gotta give that feelsy lean back regardless of how much it hurts us which gets him thinking about how much work would suck being this injured so we're 😒 which makes it seem like we're really annoyed about missing work even though we know he'd rather be here, hence the shrug he does when he snaps out of said thoughts 'you're my fave job any road, said it before' stop calling her a job sir even if you said that in a more feelsy tone than the words suggest] Janis: ['charming as the first time' and a 🙄 we're probably playing off as more jokey than it is] Jimmy: ['nowt I'd wanna be doing more than pissing about here with you, what could be more charming than that?' maybe if you'd said that in the first place boy instead of calling her a job again] Janis: ['I'm against serving coffee to ungrateful dickheads, it's not much to brag about, like' but a shrug and 😏 'cos we're not fuming over it] Jimmy: ['loads else you could if you wanted to' just telling her she's 🥇 basically there 'but I'll do it if not' casual hypeman is how that sounds but we're just 😍] Jimmy: [when I was asleep a little list of things he likes about her/she could brag about came to me so I'll try and recreate it from memory for us now, first he was obvious and just wrote fit on her arm or wherever but then did a camera and painting mime to emphasise that and tell her she was a good muse before adding mysterious where he wrote fit but then it started getting cute cos he drew little vampire teeth in the air above her smile and a sun on her face which he added the 😁 grin to obvs and then because we were in that general area he wrote nerd in caps on her neck across the biggest lovebite because not only is she such a one but to include nerd flirting then we moved to her throat and he did 🗨 because he likes talking to her and added a 🎵 inside because she's genuinely a good singer then wrote fun before adding the ny as well cos she's also a laugh then he went down to where her abs are and wrote athlete also in caps because DUH and finally on her ribs did the ✔ again because she's been taking care of him and is so kind and nice etc and while he was there got carried away just drawing an elaborate and massive rose for all the love and feels we can't currently express] Jimmy: [there might have been others I'm forgetting but those were definitely the main ones] Janis: [I'm dying boo, we're going to have to be physical because if we aren't speechless then things will be said but it's going to be the most intense and loving ever so we know] Jimmy: [not letting that be interrupted, soz children fend for yourselves for a minute please] Janis: [it's not like we've gone far, you're fine and we need this so we don't die] Jimmy: [my half asleep day dream has killed us all I am soz] Janis: [we're not soz at all, y'all living your best life] Jimmy: [the feels have never been higher] Janis: [are gonna have to force you back in eventually] Jimmy: [if only so y'all don't declare your love in words as well] Janis: [smack on that window children because it's too damn soon hush] Jimmy: [Libi 👀 to see if you're kissing] Janis: [she's gonna tell everyone lmao, tiniest shipper] Jimmy: [I love her with my whole heart] Janis: [mcvickers getting that lowdown they did not ask for when we're back, accidental snitching, at least we're being good-ish lmao] Jimmy: [Fearghal gonna be so amused, Tess will not LOL but yeah you've taken good care of this bub so you win points for that lads] Janis: [can't say fairer than that] Jimmy: [gonna be so heartbreaking when you're not allowed to stay there and see Libi, I could cry] Janis: [we have to make things go so downhill in a sec in a lot of ways, sad times] Jimmy: [winnie will love the drama, but for now go inside and try and get these kids to fall asleep] Janis: [threaten them with separation if they don't start to chill, that'll work] Jimmy: [try not to lol at how horrified they are at the prospect] Janis: 😱💔💀 Jimmy: #relatable for you, that Janis: you wish Jimmy: 🎂 Jimmy: ain't even Jesus' birthday no more Jimmy: can't piggyback off that Janis: sound like a right parent Janis: over before it's even started Jimmy: none of the fans know when mine is, might just have it so you have to get me more 🎁🎁🎁 Janis: that's not fair Janis: you'll get whatevers left in the grabber and that'll be that Janis: you'll have to pretend you won it for me and all or it's not very #goals Jimmy: told you loads of times I don't play fair, Jules 🏆 and that's that Jimmy: spoil me on my fake birthday or you ain't very #goals Janis: well used to bdays not being fair 🎻🎻 Janis: 15 years too late for that to sting Jimmy: poor baby Jimmy: hang on, I'll knock you up your own 🎂 Jimmy: [genuinely goes to make her a mug cake in secret, look away children there's none for you bye] Janis: such a 🤓 Janis: [like we're not 😍] Jimmy: So you don't want it? Alright Jimmy: [we know she do] Janis: never said that Janis: [grabby hands like gimme] Jimmy: [🤫 which he always looks hot doing like okay cover me so you don't have to share this with the children] Janis: [🤐 like I got this] Jimmy: [cleaning the kitchen but also sneaky doing this and when it's done gesturing for her to come here so they can swap places and she can sneakily eat it, just know he has 1000% put a little candle it in and lit it with the best lighter ever because every mum has a drawer of shit like that it's simply facts] Janis: [obviously taking a picture of this] Janis: why are you Jimmy: 'cause you're Jimmy: and I just Janis: you're Janis: too nice Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: nah Jimmy: yeah Janis: to me Jimmy: I'm as nice as I wanna be to you Janis: I ain't earnt it Jimmy: when have I said that? Janis: you haven't but it's still true Jimmy: up to me is what it is Janis: you hand out the 🏆 Jimmy: take yours Jimmy: you've been nice to me for ages Jimmy: what were it I said the other day, you'd be telling me to piss off by the end of this one Jimmy: worth a 🏆 that you've not Janis: just in it for the cake Janis: obviously Jimmy: you've done alright then Janis: it's not hard Janis: being nice to you Jimmy: I thought you were gonna say to make a cake Janis: [irl 😏 from the kitchen trying not to lol] Jimmy: didn't know I were fake dating a dickhead like Paul Hollywood Janis: again, you wish Jimmy: no denying that 👴💕 Jimmy: but I'll have to make do with a  🤝 off you for now Janis: [obviously come back over and do said handshake like a nerd and like it's not dangerous to be anywhere near each other rn] Jimmy: [you know he's gonna run his thumb across her lip whether there's any chocolate there or not because the mood we're in and we can pretend it's because it's so secret like can't let the children see the evidence] Janis: [thank god for the solid excuse to snuggle like we're going sleep now come on] Jimmy: [just 👀 at these kids all the damn time like are you asleep yet] Janis: [finally] Janis: I think she's asleep Janis: he's 50/50 Jimmy: [chucks something at him, softly obvs] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: that was a risk Jimmy: [😏 because we love a risk like that] Jimmy: didn't reckon on you as 🙀🙀 Janis: you reckoned right then Janis: good for you Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: don't get carried away Janis: I'm the one that's not scared Jimmy: prove it Janis: [a look that's half well how would you like me to do that and half, I'm thinkin'] Jimmy: [just a LOOK like] Janis: [I like to think you two are at least in the middle 'cos Libi and Bobby wouldn't stop chatting so you had to make a human barrier lol, so that makes it less hard to kiss him now and give him a new quick love bite but also harder to just stop there] Jimmy: [you know you're getting one back for literally no reason whatsoever gal] Janis: [casually trying have a makeout sesh in total silence rn] Jimmy: [we know how impossible that is for either of you so good luck] Janis: [gonna have to stop and pretend you're just being like, see, not scared] Jimmy: [gonna have to go for that ice bath for all the reasons now boy lol] Janis: they're definitely asleep Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: I would've woke up Jimmy: you don't sleep 🧛 Janis: you want me to? Janis: [turning our back like night then] Jimmy: [you know we're rolling you back to face us girl even if it hurts us because have to be hot about everything] Janis: [a noise we're 🤞 just sounds like a sleepy sound 'cos there was no helping it] Jimmy: [kiss her so you don't make any of your own thank you sir, don't need to tempt fate and risk waking these kids up that soon] Janis: [can't even go to another room really 'cos doubt Cass is asleep] Jimmy: [she definitely isn't, soz lads for this struggle] Janis: 😣 😖 😫 😩 🥺 😢 😭 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 😳 🥵 Janis: just so you know Jimmy: I did but now it's in writing I've gotta do something about it Janis: 👻 rules or? Jimmy: the only 👻 rule is no touching, don't reckon that'll sort it Janis: remind me why we invited them Jimmy: Ian's a twat, that were mostly it Janis: right Janis: that sounds about right Jimmy: least the 🐕's not here an' all Janis: 🌦 Jimmy: give us a bit more ☀ Janis: that's me and you though Jimmy: what kind of dickhead am I pushing in front of you like that? SO rude Janis: I'm so shy Janis: understated, honestly Jimmy: [when you're trying to stop yourself from loling] Janis: [fake punch him like oi] Janis: about to call you chivalrous but you can forget it now Jimmy: soz you can't have the 🙊 it's a bit too risky for me to use Janis: such an idiot Janis: why'd I invite you again Jimmy: Dunno Jimmy: @ me when you've worked it out Janis: you're too busy to show me? Jimmy: ❌ Jimmy: too something though Jimmy: 😣 😖 😫 😩 🥺 😢 😭 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 😳 🥵 Janis: you needed an ice bath anyway Janis: see how far we get without freezing? Janis: [getting up carefully to find 🚬s or a lighter like ?] Jimmy: [doing a help me up style gesture] Janis: [do, do not drop him now and do a throwback by kissing him against the door as you go out] Jimmy: [we love a throwback in this house honey] Janis: [thank god for cigarette breaks even though it will be very cold, we're extra] Jimmy: [your extraness will help keep you warm] Jimmy: [literally reminds me of when Baze had just got together and went on a caravan hol with the fam] Janis: [yes, very that energy, the sneaking is less high stakes but still] Jimmy: [you can go in harder than they could out there because less likely to be caught and less of a problem if you are so you're welcome for that] Janis: [literally we just don't want to wake the kids and make them cranky or cringe Cass out so you're fine lads, go nuts, who is at this caravan park in December, barely anyone] Jimmy: [fill your boots, you're very in love rn] Janis: [lowkey something is gonna get said during we're gonna have to pretend we do not hear lmao] Jimmy: [walking such a tightrope at all times, god bless] Janis: [go pretend to sleep lol] Jimmy: [the amount of things he would have to stop himself from saying when they are, you hush your mouth I swear down] Janis: [hence you ain't allowed, commit to this act please and ty, no more chit chatting] Jimmy: [he's not even allowed to say her name at this point so literally shhhhhh] Janis: [made that rod for your back boo lmao] Jimmy: [no regrets, it will HIT when he does] Jimmy: [you know he's not asleep though cos you know he can't get comfortable thanks for that Ian you dick] Janis: you should go get in a bed to yourself Janis: if he wakes up, I can tell him where you are Jimmy: I'm alright Janis: alright Jimmy: [just being fussy though so clearly isn't] Janis: you're never going to be able to sleep though Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: you're keeping me awake Jimmy: it's you 🗨 Janis: you're 😫😤 Jimmy: but not 😭😭 Janis: I can still hear you Janis: and you keep moving about because you can't get comfortable Jimmy: stop being a dickhead Janis: I'm not Janis: go get comfortable and I'll keep an eye on them both, that's nice Jimmy: how's chucking me out nice? Janis: for the aforementioned reasons Jimmy: for you that I won't be doing your head in Janis: no, so you aren't in as much fucking pain, idiot Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [angrily stomp off for a wee hen] Jimmy: [do your own to that 🛏 when she gets back] Janis: [oh the drama] Janis: thanks Jimmy: there's nowt to stop you 😴 Jimmy: crack on Janis: hardly Janis: there's two small, wriggly children Janis: don't need to be moody about it Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: don't need to go on at me now you've got what you want Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: or 🙄 at me either Janis: alright, shut up then Jimmy: you Janis: it's not my fault Jimmy: never said it were Janis: then stop taking it out on me Janis: do something about it that's actually gonna help you feel better Jimmy: I've not, I've said nowt about it Jimmy: you're the one who can't leave it out Janis: you're in a mood Jimmy: not with you, dickhead Janis: I know that Jimmy: 💭 what it were like when you fucked your ankle up Jimmy: this actually were my own fault Janis: no it ain't Janis: and I'm meant to just ignore it then, alright Janis: won't be doing that, sorry Jimmy: Bollocks, you can't go about being a massive dickhead and expect no pushback Jimmy: but it weren't this bad before Janis: it's too far Janis: you could literally be in hospital and it wouldn't be an overreaction Janis: there's no call for that Jimmy: it ain't you who decides where the line is Jimmy: or where I'll end up Janis: it's a pretty widely agreed upon line Janis: he could ask garda if he wanted to do something about you taking the car Jimmy: we've been mates for a minute, what do you know? Janis: that doesn't have nothing to do with being able to tell he took it too far this time Jimmy: you don't know fuck all about me or what he has or hasn't done Janis: I've seen the state of you, for fuck's sake Janis: I'm not saying shit about previous or implying that it means anything but you can barely breathe right now Jimmy: the state of me is right, what bit of this has owt to do with you? Janis: I'm not going to piss about with you doing stupid shit if you aren't handling your actual Janis: that's what Jimmy: piss off Janis: you Jimmy: who the fuck are you giving me ifs and buts Jimmy: you piss about with me whenever it suits you Janis: fuck this Jimmy: yeah Janis: [hear that door go] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I'll be back when I need to be Jimmy: for all you know you've woke every dickhead up and that's now Jimmy: but alright, keep giving it out like you're so bothered about the state of me and the bollocks I can't do while you leave me here on my own Jimmy: not fake at all Janis: I know it ain't Janis: and if you're gonna leave a 4 year old kid to freak out that'd be on you Janis: I don't have to stay and listen to you, who the fuck are you Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: I didn't slam the door, they're asleep Jimmy: that's alright then Jimmy: forget I said owt Jimmy: top reaction Janis: yeah 'cos you've got fuck all room to talk Janis: be better for you if I did Jimmy: I don't wanna do this Jimmy: talk about it Jimmy: have to fucking handle it or whatever it were that you said Janis: then don't talk about it Janis: it's the bare fucking minimum to not expect me to ignore that you're in pain Jimmy: and what, you think I don't know that? Jimmy: that I wouldn't do a better job of this if I could Janis: apparently, I've got no right so Jimmy: you shouldn't have to hack this an' all Janis: I don't Janis: all I was doing was saying go sleep on a proper bed Jimmy: it's just Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: weird Janis: how is it Jimmy: I said I dunno Jimmy: it's been ages since anyone bothered to say owt worth listening to like that Janis: well Janis: why fuck yourself up more Janis: that's it, it's no deeper than that Jimmy: Why not? Jimmy: that's been the question up to now Janis: if you're gonna self-harm Janis: don't do it in front of me Jimmy: you get to hold the 🔪 my dear, and when you do it'll be a pisstake if you don't go harder than that Janis: I'm not playing right now Jimmy: nor me Jimmy: what I meant were, it don't matter to me what happens to me if it only happens to me Jimmy: very catholic of me, I know Janis: i'm not interested in having no more blood on my hands Jimmy: not bleeding out as of now Jimmy: you're welcome to piss off again if I ever am Janis: 👍 Jimmy: is it? Janis: yep Jimmy: what kind of answer is that? Janis: what do you want? Jimmy: and what kind of question is that an' all? Janis: I'm not in the mood Janis: to talk to you or do this Janis: I'll be back to do my share and then we'll go back as soon as we can Jimmy: just come back now Jimmy: it's freezing Janis: I'm fine Jimmy: I won't be if I have to piss about looking for you Janis: don't Janis: I know where I am, it's not your concern Jimmy: don't make me Janis: for fuck's sake Jimmy: is right Jimmy: come back and ignore me from here Janis: don't tell me what to do Janis: I'll come back when I'm ready Jimmy: don't be a twat Jimmy: then I won't have to Janis: how far do you reckon I've got in this time Janis: I'm basically outside Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 you Jimmy: might've 🏃 anywhere Janis: it's snowing Janis: in case you'd forgotten Jimmy: that'll be why I want you to come inside Jimmy: tah for recognising it Janis: don't come near me then Jimmy: alright Janis: [show up a few minutes later] Jimmy: [we do be giving her space like she requested thankfully but we have made her a tea because it's our love language and it is cold af out there no lie] Janis: [act like you're not gonna take it for as long as you can but clearly do] Jimmy: [go to your bed sir and give it a while before you come at her again] Jimmy: What did you mean? Janis: about what? Jimmy: you said you don't wanna do this, which bit? Janis: I was talking about tonight Janis: not permanent plans Jimmy: weren't how it sounded Jimmy: you had a plan and it were to piss off back there as soon as Janis: both gotta work Janis: both got kids that don't belong to us Janis: just the obvious next step, really Jimmy: if you wanna pretend that's why, go on, obviously Janis: I'm not pretending shit Jimmy: you don't have to be a massive dickhead to keep it going just 'cause I already were Janis: obviously I don't want to spend no more time with you too Janis: why would I Jimmy: no idea Janis: there you go then Jimmy: alright then Janis: she'll be gutted Jimmy: ? Janis: Libi Jimmy: already spent ages longer here than we were going to Janis: true Jimmy: and she don't need to know that you're #overit and me Janis: makes playdates a bit awkward Jimmy: what's a bit more faking? nowt we haven't done before Janis: right Jimmy: she's less thick than most of our audience but still only a kid Janis: no need to break them up Jimmy: agreed Janis: sorted Jimmy: ✔ Janis: anything else we need to? Jimmy: like what? Janis: dunno Janis: why I asked Jimmy: it's your question, weren't me who asked it Janis: I don't ask questions I know the answer to Janis: as a rule Jimmy: if you had something in mind, say it Janis: there's loads of shit Janis: potentially Janis: mainly how we're finishing this if we are Jimmy: up to you that Jimmy: it's you who wants to Janis: no it isn't Jimmy: weren't me who said I wanna go back or that I dunno why you're worth spending time with Janis: like you've not said shit tonight Janis: and neither of those is saying I want to finish it, anyway Jimmy: what else does not wanting to spend any more time with someone mean? Janis: we've been mates for what, a minute? Janis: we were doing it before then Jimmy: so you just don't wanna be mates? Janis: not worked out so great thus far Jimmy: bit rude Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: it were going alright Jimmy: you don't need to chuck it all Jimmy: not for something that weren't about you Janis: you bighead is really showing Jimmy: how is it? Janis: 'chuck it all' Janis: I was fine before you came about, tah Jimmy: you know what I mean Janis: how you say shit matters Jimmy: how I say loads of bollocks Jimmy: you get most of it Janis: I'm dickhead lingual, I guess Jimmy: I'm sorry, alright Jimmy: for what I said when I was in pain, that load of bollocks Janis: if you never phrase it like that again Janis: alright Janis: forget about it Jimmy: deliberately will ALWAYS phrase it like that now, each time Janis: if you could not make a habit of it, be appreciated Jimmy: being a MASSIVE dickhead? bit late for that Janis: I can handle that Janis: taking shit back that you've said Janis: leave off that Jimmy: not a habit I want Jimmy: only fancy the ones that'll 💀💀💀 me which that ain't gonna if it makes you piss off out of it Janis: a deal then? Janis: deal back on, actually Jimmy: if we shake on it Janis: okay Janis: come out then Jimmy: come here then Jimmy: meant to take your advice and stay put like a good lad here 🛏 me Janis: you're awkward how and when it suits you Janis: [but does, obviously] Jimmy: [will shake your hand and pull you into a hug gal] Janis: [the most dramatic hug, definitely forgetting to be careful here soz] Jimmy: [not caring that much because we care more about the bae knowing how soz we are and how many feels we have] Janis: [likewise, the tension got too much and went wrong, as it does, and we're #shooketh] Jimmy: [straight up asking her to stay for a bit because we're in our emotions so we're just saying what we wanna say without thinking about it] Janis: [just nodding 'cos that's all we can do] Jimmy: [making room for her as if this isn't a single bed lol] Janis: [at least you'll remember to be careful again and not hug him so hard, but then you're like oh, 'cos don't want to make it a Thing™ again so 'sorry, if you think I was making it all about me'] Jimmy: [a noise like no that is not what we think because 1. the strength of how much we don't think that 2. what are words and just hugging her for the emphasis] Janis: [shrugs like it's okay but we're not gonna keep going like we don't believe him even if we lowkey don't] Jimmy: [just looking at her like ! 'I think it's more of a headfuck than you signed up for, nowt else'] Janis: [just looking like how do I even explain that that's not your fault and literally the last thing either of us should be concerned about because it does not matter, just shaking our head like nah] Jimmy: [playing with her hair cos it would've had snow on it recently because there is too much we wanna say about our feels and so much we feel like we can't say about our family situation] Janis: ['I CAN handle it' like trust me] Jimmy: ['me an' all' like same even though you lowkey can't] Janis: [soft kiss] Jimmy: [you can have some little kisses too gal like my boo loves] Janis: [just being the most soft] Jimmy: [you gotta] Janis: ['we're alright, yeah?'] Jimmy: [a nod because the emotions are still too high rn and I'm not letting you say shit thank you] Janis: [sigh of relief] Jimmy: [hugging you again cos we don't want you to leave] Janis: [you can stay here lads, the bubs will be alright and you'll hear if they ain't] Jimmy: [snuggle it's what you both need] Janis: [let 'em be for a hot sec] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [what shall we do in the AM?] Jimmy: [make breakfast together for these bubs obvs because all the domestic bliss needed] Janis: [might have to trek to the shop to get supplies, that'll be an adventure] Jimmy: [maybe you can make them some kind of sledge because you're both crafty art hoes] Janis: [I bet there's some kind of tings in a caravan that would work, cannot think what exactly but we know the vibes, get creative] Jimmy: [I wouldn't have the first clue but you two would figure it out and you can get Cass to help she'd be into that] Janis: [as well as snowball fight and snowman making competition, which are 2 points we wanted to hit too] Jimmy: [love that and you can also make snow dogs for these bubs] Jimmy: [the question is should we let them have another night here before we send them back or is that too dangerous] Janis: [I think we should for the danger of it/to prove we can lol] Jimmy: [I'm down, just don't have another argument please] Janis: [hohaha, be good] Jimmy: [I have faith in you] Janis: [the only thing I've said you've done is baking/crafts so apart from that enjoy your snow/beach funtimes, you should also get chips for dinner, obvs] Jimmy: [yeah I'm trying to think if there's anything else they should do] Janis: [there's potential the kids have said more? because this is a whole long weekend and they don't know/care not to so, that's potentially something we need to know] Jimmy: [oh that's a good idea, is there any tea you want spilled] Janis: [hmm, she'd probably just KEEP talking about her parents like all the things she's been told about Edie specifically, so all that tea, just more than we've got out so far] Jimmy: [likewise can picture Bobby really driving home the point that he doesn't have a mum and like what he remembers about her being basically nothing so it'd be obvious they haven't seen her for ages not just since they moved] Janis: [poor babs, just bonding and JJ are here like and I OOP] Jimmy: [I hope Cass isn't around when you're spilling that tea bub cos she will be fuming] Janis: [that is potentially a thing unless he knows better by now lol] Jimmy: [this boy living his best life with his new bff deal with it Cass] Janis: [soz hen, you'll be hanging with your new mates as much as you can so we're probably fine] Jimmy: [getting all that arcade swag] Janis: [love that we're pretending we don't hear any of this clear drama lmao ly babes] Jimmy: [poor Jimothy having to just sign all this back and forth like] Janis: [I do think for a bit Libi would keep shouting like he'll hear her eventually 'cos she's only little so that'll be amusing/a time just screeching everything lowkey] Jimmy: [that's really pure babe I do stan you] Janis: [people like that's a loud child lollollol] Jimmy: [I hope you're not still shouting when you go home hun, hilarious as that would be] Janis: [mcvickers like lawd, she'll be showing them how to sign what she's learnt like just in case bobby comes round] Jimmy: [which he definitely will at some point, all the playdates forever] Janis: [fully gonna just try and take herself to Jimmy's all the time like no gal] Jimmy: [shows up at his door because they literally live that close to each other everyone like !!!???] Janis: [troublemaker baby] Jimmy: [do so love the edition of her to this lil family unit JJ are making here though, she really does add to it] Janis: [agreed, it's very cute, she'd probably have told him about how Astrid is technically her auntie but like a year younger 'cos that's wild to kids, so gonna get a sense of how messy this fam is lol] Jimmy: [and she doesn't talk either so Libi would be used to having to find ways to communicate with her too even though we know Ro be pretending there's no issue rn] Janis: [exactly dr phil, we all been knew and trying to work around it apart from ro lmao, just giving a lowdown on every auntie she has which would be amusing and probably a lowkey drag for some of y'all ladies, we know Janis and Billie are her faves] Jimmy: [I can wholeheartedly support those faves gal, Billie would always be doing the most for her and Astrid, fuck you Ro you dusty bitch, Bobby would love all this cos they lowkey have no fam] Janis: [take 'em for rides on your fancy wheelz, they'd love that, just like you can come meet them when we get back like okay JJ, all this is happening regardless, soz] Jimmy: [if she was here you'd have a bomb sledge hens she's probably built Libi and Astrid all kinds of things, Bobby will love all of Ali's animals and shit she has too, casual farm moment] Janis: [probably telling you every cats name too, poor Jimothy is gonna need a break lol] Jimmy: [unrelated but related do you think Ali would have space for any horses because I have all that Cass horse content] Janis: [I think it makes sense, I too have some gay horse content, like it wouldn't be a working farm but I think she'd have various farmyard animals just for the household] Jimmy: [yeah it made sense to me too, like your auntie vibes] Janis: [mhmm, and it could've been just land when we inherited it but she's swagged it up now she has more time/the kids aren't bubs etc] Jimmy: [Bobby just asking if they can have a kitten, Jimothy like NO] Janis: [I'm cackling, 'cos Libi like YEAH] Jimmy: [just like okay can we have a chicken/pony/donkey whatever else creatures there are, Jimothy like lawd] Janis: [just shoving the whole barn into your rental home, god bless you tiny fools] Jimmy: [and then Bobby obvs wants to phone Twix and Jimothy is just trying to distract him because we don't wanna phone Ian and he won't play along with this thank you] Janis: [distract y'all with an activity fast] Jimmy: [they could make dog treats, it's not very difficult] Janis: ]that's a good idea boo] Jimmy: [casual gift to these pups] Janis: [they'll enjoy that, kids and dogs, also can have a tea party for the toy pups lol] Jimmy: [so CUTE gonna say that Jimothy draws you a little comic strip or something about these pups kids] Jimmy: [I don't know what daily doodle you're getting today Janis, but something loved up for sure] Janis: [frankly, we're all living today hun] Jimmy: [do you wanna do this night like we did the one before with them chatting again or are we just saying it's a chill loved up vibe?] Janis: [hmm hmm hmm, let's do it, maybe we can be cute] Jimmy: [you start it then gal cos I did before] Janis: [on it sonic] Janis: 🥇🏆💪 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: come on, we bossed it Jimmy: no need to sound surprised Jimmy: just that kind of team Janis: not going to disagree Janis: 🤐 'til they 😴 aside Jimmy: don't wanna fight with you either, you're alright Janis: really? Janis: 🍀 night Jimmy: unless you desperately wanna 🥊 with me, obvs Jimmy: can't turn you down then Janis: I'm gutted, obviously Janis: but I think I'll survive Jimmy: good Jimmy: 💀💀💀 ain't happening til they're 😴 either Janis: that's a promise? Jimmy: depends Janis: ? Jimmy: do you want me to break it or keep it? Jimmy: 'cause they might not be asleep for ages Janis: 😒 Janis: should've laced the hot chocolates, you're right Jimmy: we'll have to go properly on the run if either of them 💀💀💀 Jimmy: I'm in Janis: knew you would be Janis: you can break your promise then Jimmy: round 2 ☕ coming up Janis: 😏 Janis: warn me next time you plan on being so 😍 yeah Jimmy: be loads of warnings Jimmy: never shut me up Janis: just say you aren't up to it, babe Janis: 😶 Jimmy: Why would I lie to you, girl? Janis: well you don't need to shut up on my account Jimmy: I get it, you need 🔊 Janis: needs a big word Jimmy: is it? Janis: don't you think? Jimmy: that's not an answer Janis: I know what I want Janis: you'll have to convince me on need Jimmy: alright Janis: not mad about it if you aren't Jimmy: Why wouldn't I be? Janis: it's been a pretty knackering day being the 😎 brother and translator Jimmy: *standard Jimmy: nowt if not used to all that Janis: alright, show-off Janis: you're 🥇 we get it Jimmy: you've done alright an' all, don't be 💔 Janis: don't worry Janis: not a title I'm after, I know I'm not that good Jimmy: how do you? Janis: I don't do half as much with Libi Janis: or for her Jimmy: she still reckons you're 🥇 I had to translate her going on and on about it Janis: don't act like it was a chore 😘 Jimmy: you just said it were Jimmy: make up your mind, Jules Janis: no I never Jimmy: knackering, I think it were Janis: that's looking after this lot Janis: not hyping me up Janis: that's a privilege, DUH Jimmy: so funny, you Janis: oi Jimmy: what? Jimmy: you wanted a compliment Janis: say it like you mean it, boy Jimmy: [writes it on her how he did the other day] Janis: [try not to lol 'cos we know you ticklish and 😳] Jimmy: [go over it again like look how much I mean this, soz gal] Janis: [just wriggling away like staph] Janis: you're such a pisstake Jimmy: what, you still don't believe me? Janis: I believe you Janis: don't tickle me again or I will have to get you back Janis: been warned Jimmy: [obviously does by writing how? as in how will you get me back?] Janis: ['scuse us for our lols children, I hope you're sleepy enough that this doesn't devolve into an entire group tickle fight lmao] Janis: [but the LOOK will speak for us regardless] Jimmy: [always gonna give you a LOOK back] Janis: [smile at him too, like we can't even help it] Jimmy: [of course you're getting one back too because that kind of thing is infectious but also 😍 because her smile is always cute] Janis: you're fit Jimmy: you Janis: you x2 Jimmy: you 🏆🏆🏆 Janis: you're being very giving with the 🏆s lately Jimmy: and what? Janis: maybe I think I should do more to earn 'em Jimmy: I might reckon you have Janis: I can do better Jimmy: go on then Janis: wait Jimmy: but Janis: blame them Janis: [pisstakey evils at the children] Jimmy: [just mime killing them in all the ways boy] Janis: when we get back Janis: you'll give me some alone time before you go Jimmy: that a question or an order? Janis: a ? would be polite, I guess Jimmy: don't sound like you, that Janis: cheek Jimmy: I'll give you owt you want, since you asked Janis: *nicely Jimmy: you could do better Janis: ['please' in his ear 'cos deserved after the tickling] Jimmy: [bite your lip please sir because we all know that affected you very much but the children don't need to] Janis: [pleased with ourselves dot com] Janis: better? Jimmy: it'll do for now Janis: gutted they're too young to leave in the arcade as well Jimmy: or chuck out in the snow Janis: it is melting a bit Janis: can go back tomorrow Jimmy: 💔 Janis: not saying it to 💔 now Jimmy: 🤞 I ain't gonna start 😭😭 now Janis: you'd never Janis: too 😎 Jimmy: too northern Janis: same Jimmy: SO much in common, us Janis: Does that mean we ain't star-crossed enough? 😱 Jimmy: it'll mean the #haters have to work harder at it Jimmy: Bill's gonna be chuffed to bits with that Janis: true enough Janis: if you're still here when school starts, Lucas is ready and waiting Jimmy: do you reckon he got any new ties for christmas? Janis: from who? the ex Janis: unlikely, that bitch Jimmy: 🎅 DUH Jimmy: bound to be best mates Jimmy: both into having kids on their laps Janis: ugh Janis: 🎅 gonna have snitched about us Jimmy: be about right Jimmy: fucking dickhead Janis: 💔 Janis: no presents no more lift offers Jimmy: only the full orchestra following you round Jimmy: poor baby Janis: tell me about it Janis: gonna be depressing as fuck Jimmy: can't have that Jimmy: you're my ☀ Janis: 🔫 the 🥁 for me Jimmy: what? Janis: don't orchestras have drummers? Janis: 🎹🎻 then Jimmy: bit weird that you went right for him 🎯 Janis: so #notlikeothergirls of me Jimmy: not knowing if he exists Jimmy: might be a copout of you Janis: just meant he ain't the lead singer but yeah Janis: ask Pete Jimmy: can't be, that's you Janis: well I am my own favourite person but no need to spread that about Jimmy: can't do that either, your fav's meant to be me Janis: hang on Janis: I'll post something to that effect Janis: [do] Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [have a little socials flirting sesh to further ramp up the tension that's always there] Janis: [you're always about that kids] Jimmy: ☕? Janis: if you mean tea Janis: I'll 🤮 if I have another hot chocolate Janis: and the gals aren't here to impress Jimmy: 🐕🍪? Janis: fuck off 😏 Jimmy: [IRL 😏] Janis: [just checking him out whilst he makes tea so casually] Jimmy: [will do the lingering touch when he gives it to her cos we're in a rom com] Janis: I get it, you miss work SO much Jimmy: nowt to do with missing you Janis: don't be silly Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: insensitive to suggest we deafen her too? 🤷 Jimmy: she has done every other dickhead Janis: 😂 Janis: only fair Jimmy: [mime some ways you can deafen this poor bub] Janis: [trying not to IRL 😂] Jimmy: [trying not to be 😍 af because she's the cutest] Janis: face'll get stuck like that Jimmy: already stuck as 😒 Janis: exactly Janis: don't ruin it Jimmy: know how much you're into 🥺 though Jimmy: [does it] Janis: [pinching his bottom lip between her finger and thumb like she's so 😒🙄 but there's no hiding the truth hen] Jimmy: [once again running his thumb across her bottom lip because we don't need a reason] Janis: [holding his hand but squeezing it first 'cos must] Jimmy: [drawing a ! on her hand because we get it] Janis: you're Jimmy: [drawing a really slow ? as we give her a LOOK] Janis: [shaking our head, like I can't] Jimmy: [draw a 🗨 like tell me] Janis: all things considered Janis: this has been alright Jimmy: yeah Janis: I mean it Jimmy: me an' all Janis: [looking away 'cos we're so overwhelmed and 🥰] Jimmy: [kiss her because likewise] Janis: [don't hate children] Jimmy: [we know you ship it] Janis: [reminds me, Libi probably saying something so embarrassing about 'when they get married' like gal shut up but never do] Jimmy: [about to sob because they will and you can be a bridesmaid gal even though you'll be a teen by then] Janis: [so nice, 'cos Edie wouldn't have been old enough for a proper one which is sad, at least she'd start going on about hers and Bobby's so y'all don't need to feel too awks lol] Jimmy: [break my heart boo cos yeah they would've been engaged but she was but a child still so no actual wedding for y'all] Janis: [she was only 16 for like 2 months so even if Ali had agreed] Janis: [omg hang on] Janis: [what if she did 'cos like, end of the day, make your own mistakes etc and who is she to say no 'cos Cali lmao but technically Drew could be considered to have 'parental responsibility' if he's been paying which let's say he has, it seems wishy-washy but if he was like NO, 'cos just show up to do the least last minute is such a vibe for him, I think it'd count 'cos you need both parents if you have 2] Jimmy: [I love that and we must because it was like OG Cali vibes to have an underage teen wedding moment] Janis: [like so sorry do not need to be creating drama last minute in your life but also it makes sense, because as much as it's like who tf are you, it'd be conflicting because she's only wanted a dad and for him to care this whole time so] Jimmy: [soz not soz about how happy this makes me and Libi will have that wedding video to go with all the others she has] Janis: [it just makes sense that they'd try, obviously, that Ali would say yes even if she's got the reservations she has, so yeah, anyway, that's not to do with y'all lmao I just had a thought] Jimmy: [gutted this isn't Ali's caravan cos there would've been a whole dressing up box for you bubs if it were] Janis: [you can have a fake wedding when you are home lol] Jimmy: [for now make some paper doll bride and grooms that'll keep you busy] Janis: [burn that evidence, Tess is gonna be horrified, like what's this about ANOTHER teen wedding] Jimmy: [honestly this fam do make me cackle] Janis: [not enough time has passed since ruster getting married at 18 we're all triggered lmao] Jimmy: [would Edie's be before theirs or after? I get so confused] Janis: [hmm, let me think, theirs would be about 34...which is when Libi is born, so yeah, Edie is about 15 so it's the year before, 'cos obviously they get married like RIGHT before they die in 35] Janis: [talk about a YEAR for the fam, hi I'm having a baby @ 14 and hi I'm getting married to my cousin @ 18 oh and I'm also going to get pregnant] Jimmy: [we are so wild I love us] Janis: [if anyone's kids would, it is Alison's but omg, we're shooketh, not to mention we cripple Billie, then the Junior baby drama...no one getting out unscathed] Jimmy: [and now we've got jj triggering everyone and Grace out here about to also think she's a teen mum for a hot sec] Janis: [this is why everyone chats shit about y'all, but imagine the lowkey weird guilt 'cos nothing does happen to the twins really, aside from the obvious, but it's bad enough this all happens in your fam and then everyone won't shut up about it like] Janis: [also Nancy and Ava by that extension 'cos Buster embroils himself in it all and the Chloe and James of it] Jimmy: [that's why Grace is how she is guys, this fam and shit nan ruining her life lowkey] Janis: [when you can't complain 'cos it's like um well Edie's dead and Billie is crippled for life so bye, hence Janis just does as she pleases and is a bitch to everyone 'cos call her a troublemaker and whatever then, like fine, it's better than trying to deal and act like you're #grateful and #blessed] Janis: [and that's all the drama that's yet to come out, oh guys] Jimmy: [I'm gonna go re-read what I said about Jimothy's ex on the school trip because only time she's been mentioned and maybe tone that situation down depending what I've committed to because the cali fam is a LOT] Janis: [I remember the basic vibe was pregnant and with her dad's friend but yeah, go look] Jimmy: [yeah but hopefully I haven't gone in mentioning that so far and we can be like ❌] Janis: [yeah, even if it was just a lad her own age-ish and preggo now, 'cos it may have even been 2 kids and they're only 15 now so] Jimmy: [I think we've got away with implying she's a very messy bitch who has now changed her ways at least somewhat so that's fine because I don't think I've mentioned her in any of the festive convos] Janis: [we'll let you live gal] Jimmy: [anyway we've been derailed] Janis: [truly, y'all want to settle these children down again tah] Janis: 🙄🙄 Jimmy: [get in your little den bubs] Jimmy: *🥱🥱 Jimmy: 🤞🤞 Janis: Ideal Janis: just saying, not going to their wedding Jimmy: we'll be long 💀💀💀 mate, don't worry Janis: not if she makes herself a loo roll veil and has done with it Janis: poor Bobby has had no say in the matter Jimmy: ain't seen him shake his head Janis: such a romantic Jimmy: Dunno where either of 'em get that from Janis: dread to think Jimmy: no need to 💭 about owt that isn't #goals, you're alright Janis: 🤵👰💀🤢 Jimmy: don't fancy the look of your new scale much Janis: 😏 Janis: not a question I'd even fake pop, don't be 😱 Jimmy: not even if every dickhead but me 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺?! Jimmy: so 💪🏆🥇 you Janis: even if I had fuck all, you wouldn't be getting half of it Jimmy: keep your 🐕🏃💰🔐 I get it Janis: you don't whore for those tips for nothing, yeah Jimmy: in the job description, that Janis: why else would you apply Jimmy: my ☕🎨 going unappreciated in this lifetime is an #ultimatekink Janis: of course Janis: 💔 fuels your craft Jimmy: 🖋✎🖌🔪🔧🔨🪓 Janis: 🥱 to 🤤 Jimmy: massive scale that one Janis: one time speed is impressive Janis: have it Jimmy: if you ain't bringing up either of us being 🥇 at driving Janis: that aside Janis: 🏃 too Janis: not where my 🧠 was obvs Jimmy: tah for not wanting to piss off Jimmy: mine's not on 🎨 at this very minute so I ain't after the 💔 Janis: 💀💀 Jimmy: ? or ! Janis: bit of both Janis: request and an order Jimmy: come here then Janis: [a look like dare I/do I but also a LOOK obvs] Jimmy: [giving a LOOK back always] Janis: [get snuggled in this den moment best you can without disturbing the kiddos] Jimmy: [being as sneaky as we can cos don't need these kids getting extra about your rom com life again but pulling her into his lap, injury be damned because we miss it] Janis: [missed it too and our expression would say as much] Jimmy: [it's been forever like literally pub crawl was the last time] Janis: [upsetting and rude, frankly] Jimmy: [it really is, excuse you Ian] Janis: [thank god she's skinny if tall, not gonna kill you] Jimmy: [gotta do what we gotta do cos shameless fave thing ever] Janis: [just drawing doodles all over his arm with her finger] Jimmy: [playing with her hair while she does] Janis: [we're happy and that always scares us ah] Jimmy: [likewise, oh lads] Janis: [go on your phone and see about the NYE party you aren't gonna get to go to and show him like] Jimmy: [ooh good idea boo] Janis: [are we saying it's at Mia's or did I imagine that] Jimmy: [I think we did to make it more of a thing that they don't go, because we all know Mia literally never hosts a function like it's only this all year] Janis: [so it would be such a to-do for the flat whites 'cos lord knows you've not got the reps you think you have ladies] Jimmy: [yeah exactly and we know her and Pablo are over/on the rocks so she'd be even more extra about it] Janis: [thankful we miss it tbh] Jimmy: [hard same and not just cos I love the drama] Janis: [its all the drama mick, we know it'll be a terrible party but yes, rn you can plan how you're gonna slay it if you wanna] Jimmy: Go on, how are we topping 🎄 with them? Janis: already done 😇 Janis: so it'll have to be 🌟 Jimmy: I thought you were gonna say 😈 Janis: also a possibility Janis: this party is one of the only way she has of winning + at this point Janis: how do we really ruin it for - Jimmy: where's her dad? be real hell for him, this Janis: some beach in the Caribbean Janis: he couldn't miss that to continue her punishment Janis: 💔 he don't care as much as you thought, babe Jimmy: still probably won't take much to get him back Jimmy: that lass ain't had another go at a party since we fucked up hers Janis: he is with her mother so fuck knows how he manages to have a good time Janis: assumedly it's one giant swingers convention or whatever Janis: true, I wanna do it worse though Janis: more personal, just need to 💭 how Jimmy: what I'm hearing is you want me to 💀💀💀 them for you Janis: like the sound of that Jimmy: so say it and I'll do it Janis: that's how it works, yeah Jimmy: you can have owt you're after from me, you know it works like that Janis: only if we post it Jimmy: you've got my permission to hold my 📷 while I've got the 🔪 Janis: 😍 Janis: can't promise quality Jimmy: what are you promising? Janis: you know what Jimmy: don't get more top quality than 🥇 Janis: whatever you want Janis: that's what I'll give you Jimmy: I just want Janis: go on Jimmy: [kiss her please because I'm not going to let you say something extra right now] Janis: [intense silent kisses ftw rn] Jimmy: [I do hope these children are asleep because silent is not his forte for very long] Janis: [we'll give you that, as Libi has already rinsed you lol] Jimmy: [and keeps spilling all the fam tea] Janis: [gotta let you have something lads or you'll go cray] Jimmy: [and we're ruining it all for you soon] Janis: [ugh shit nan, soz not soz you're getting floored hen] Jimmy: [honestly wish it was worse cos so deserved] Janis: [as if this is the time for you to drag up Caleb's drama, like didn't even mention he had to go and get killed, like ffs] Jimmy: [hopefully Ali will ban you from the gaff because we're all sick of your shit my love] Janis: [we were humouring you to be nice but like, no] Jimmy: [the amount of chances she's already given you through the years, dread to think tbh] Janis: [we all know she gives too many, like she never banned either Caleb or Drew from seeing their kids or being involved, she's not that bitch if she doesn't have to be] Jimmy: [likewise with Joe and Ronnie, nothing if not consistent and I love you gal] Janis: [and ro lbr] Jimmy: [the tea] Janis: [oh rosaline, this do not be about you though, again, off topic] Jimmy: [I wanna say he's thought of something to ruin this party we don't get to go to because we just wanna give the bae everything she wants but I don't know what] Janis: [we can because as it won't get to come to fruition, we can be vague lol, just kissing him even harder] Jimmy: [how intensely we're doing literally everything rn because the feels are so high] Janis: ['we need to go' when you mean to the bedroom but that just comes out that dramatically lol, obviously we're whispering 'cos if you wake up now lmao] Jimmy: [try not to fall over the obstacle course of all the stuff these children have left everywhere because we all know you're gonna kiss the whole way there because forever a cliche] Janis: [as funny as that would be, one of you is injured and the other has only just recovered so be careful tah] Jimmy: [and you'd be fuming if you got cockblocked rn, we don't need another argument happening between anyone] Janis: [Cass I hope you're out or otherwise entertained 'cos yeah] Jimmy: [maybe you're asleep too tbf because we never get any at home and you've been busy having friends and living your best life] Janis: [let's go with it, we're all content] Jimmy: [hook up to your heart's content lads we'll be sending you back in the morning] Janis: [so you'll be going back 28th, just so we know where we are] Jimmy: [thank god you can work things out properly my boo] Janis: [gives us a few days to do with what we want so that's nice] Jimmy: [is there anything else on the list or have we done it all?] Janis: [the only things we have is Twix being ill and one of Asia's sisters having a bday party, we could do Twix in this period, can't really do a party between xmas and ny even they're not that dumb] Jimmy: [we should do that bday party when she gets back and things are really awkward between them because Bobby can be like I want Libi to come with me because they thing they are in love rn] Janis: [yeah, and they could fuck with Asia and when have they needed much more than a flimsy excuse so] Jimmy: [that was my thought, an excuse to get them back together that isn't just school] Janis: [think that was the plan, we can skip to when they're back if you'd like, don't think this has been that long] Jimmy: [I know we always say that but it shouldn't have actually been that long this time lol] Janis: [we alright, also back home and separated] Janis: everyone's sufficiently sure we haven't permanently damaged the kid here so 🏆 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: Ian ain't gonna give me no 🏆 Jimmy: no longer the season Janis: and his nice act was SO convincing Jimmy: IKR Janis: 🙄 if I needed acting lessons Janis: which I don't Jimmy: you're in luck there 'cause my mum'd be the one for it putting up with his bollocks for as long as she bothered Jimmy: but about as likely as him chucking out the welcome wagon for us Janis: Shame Janis: better not tell him about the wedding Janis: 😡 🤬 all 'round Jimmy: the 💰 saver of making it a double might do something about that but with how you feel about sharing Jimmy: it'd be you fuming Janis: look like we'd hired mini-mes Jimmy: bit of a mix up with yours Janis: it happens Janis: get what you pay for 🎻 Jimmy: she's spot on with matching your ☀ personality, babe Jimmy: nowt else matters Janis: low Janis: don't compare me to a toddler 😂 Jimmy: work on her volume 🤏 and no dickhead'll know the difference Janis: you're gonna talk big now I can't do nothing about it Janis: twat Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: doing my bit so you ain't 💔 missing us Janis: very thoughtful Janis: I'll be buzzing to sleep in a proper bed on my own Jimmy: just that kind of twat, me Janis: I know Janis: how many treats he given the dog then? Jimmy: come on, none of us can count that high Jimmy: need you for that Janis: I'll have to come see you then Jimmy: won't let you 😴 heard you about wanting your own bed Janis: it's not that good, honestly Janis: but you know Jimmy: sounded alright to me, might just be the no kid 💭💡 though Janis: yeah Janis: unlucky Janis: least you won't have to make a fort every night Jimmy: depends how 💔😭🎻 he gets missing her Jimmy: might have to do all sorts of bollocks Janis: 😏 Janis: tin can phone might actually work from that distance and with her volume Jimmy: dinner and tonight's crafts ✔ Janis: caravan life makes you so resourceful Jimmy: ⛺️ next? Janis: calm down bear grylls Jimmy: only answer to daddy 🐻 or baby when you INSIST on a compromise Janis: well, baby Janis: imagine the previous 2 nights, in a tent, with no room to hide Jimmy: all of it or just the bits I wanna 💭? Janis: the bits you wanna wouldn't have a lot of hope of repeating, is my point Janis: unless yours is making dog treats was your fave Jimmy: OBVS Janis: dickhead Jimmy: time of my life that were, think about it constant, no room for nowt else but 🐕🍪 Janis: yeah, you do LOVE that dog Janis: fair enough Janis: you two go on your camping holibobs Jimmy: bit rude you're not coming, but alright Janis: no room Jimmy: loads under the ⭐s girl Janis: 🤩 Janis: tents are for pussies Jimmy: it's a yeah now then? Janis: just us? Janis: and the 🐕 Janis: bit unfair to call the kids pussies but probably more unfair to make 'em rough it like that Jimmy: reckon I'll just leave the 🐕 with our kid, so he's not as 💔😭🎻 you reckon he's not 💪😎 Jimmy: it's a 👶 an' all Janis: I never slagged him off Janis: he's alright Janis: just Jimmy: just us Janis: yeah Janis: and all the ⭐s Bill knows the names of Jimmy: he'd have me name them after all the ones I've got for you Janis: why the pricks not invited Jimmy: keep it between us that we're even going Janis: 🗢🔒 Jimmy: til we get there Jimmy: 🗨🔊 then if you want Janis: *need Janis: least we get to christen Mia's bed this party Jimmy: 🤞 we find her diary an' all Janis: can put it on the site Janis: the good bits, anyway Jimmy: trash her room since she was so chuffed the last time Janis: wonder if daddy keeps anything incriminating about the house Jimmy: he'll have an office Jimmy: dickheads who spend every minute at work always do Janis: yeah, I know the sort Janis: and keeping it locked'd be too suspicious Jimmy: piss easy Jimmy: where on the scale'll 💀👑 end up if we christen his desk an' all? Janis: I'd guess 😩 🥺 😢 😭 but we'll see 'cos I know where I am Jimmy: go on Janis: guess first Jimmy: or what? Janis: I won't tell ya Janis: play the game Jimmy: you're 😳 Janis: close Janis: 🤯 you keep having such good ideas Janis: 😣 it ain't tonight Jimmy: might have a 🥇💡 for tonight if you play nicely yourself Janis: how do I do that? Jimmy: do you need me to tell you? Jimmy: done a top job of it without that Janis: might be part of the fun Jimmy: I dunno what fun we're having yet, just that Ian'll have had an easy go of it while we were gone Janis: bet it was well hard for him to act like he gave a shit you was gone for longer Janis: plenty of ways to get to the truth of it Jimmy: can't promise you'll 👀⭐'s but there'll be 🎆🎇 Janis: I'm in Jimmy: we should be out first, dunno why I'm pissing about here when he is to chuck the kids at Janis: there is loads for Bobby to tell him Jimmy: and my sister to go on about an' all Jimmy: and there's this Jimmy: [evidence of whatever carnage Twix has caused] Janis: 🙌 Janis: told you she was on side Jimmy: [evidence of how much she's wilding because they are back and she is lowkey scared of Ian] Jimmy: Dunno about that, doing my head in already, her Janis: n'awh Janis: shut up you 💘 it Jimmy: sounds and feels right fake Janis: then you're used to it Jimmy: you coming out or what? Janis: you reckon that's how Romeo got invited up the balcony mate Jimmy: no hot chocolate included in my invite, what more to do you want, Jules? Jimmy: 🌹? Janis: yeah Janis: love 💀 things Jimmy: chuck me off the balcony then Janis: don't tease me, baby Jimmy: I mean it Janis: where do you wanna meet Jimmy: where are you? Janis: still at my grandparents so Jimmy: Alright, hang on Janis: where do you wanna go Jimmy: where do you? Janis: I don't care Jimmy: it don't matter Janis: yeah Janis: it really don't Jimmy: just don't let Libi see us Janis: I'll come out Janis: she's not taking over again tah Jimmy: I'll warm you up Janis: I'm not scared, remember Jimmy: yeah Janis: but you can Jimmy: if I don't I know what will do Janis: scare me? Jimmy: 🌡 Janis: bighead 😏 Janis: not not true though Jimmy: you and your one track 🧠 sweetheart Janis: Bill ain't invited Janis: don't need to pretend Jimmy: Oi, I've got a 🎁 for you and it ain't just 🍆🎀 Janis: what you done that for Janis: not christmas no more Jimmy: 🎅's for life Jimmy: so's pissing off Ian Janis: oh, go ahead 🍾 Jimmy: [show up boy because she's not far and hand over what you've stolen from Ian's replenished stash and I'm gonna say one of the bottles has a post it stuck to it with today's doodle which is like something to do with them stargazing obvs] Janis: [take the bottle and stick the post it on his head whilst you take a swig 'did he find his car or what' 'cos we left it somewhere then dipped so] Jimmy: [stick it on her back like excuse you it's for you when you take the bottle to take your own swig and then nearly choke cos you're loling because he hasn't because I see no reason why he would have considering where they left it and he knows nothing about Janis or where she lives] Janis: [stick it on the back of your phone or something to keep it safe, shaking our head and smirking because it's funny but also 'what's your long term plan?'] Jimmy: [shrugs 'depends' like it's so casual and we don't think about how much we hate Ian constantly lol] Janis: ['yeah, depends if he takes it to the police' kicking a stone as we walk 'we'd both be seen in it on CCTV' shrugs 'you probably want to return it or make sure someone worse takes it now'] Jimmy: ['he's not that kind of dickhead' because he isn't lbr 'he can have it back before he's in work again, don't need him hanging about having a longer holiday'] Janis: [nods like good 'glad you have a plan' and a look like NEVER had one of them before lollol] Jimmy: [a look like are you because we know we're all thinking about if this plan works and he has to leave] Janis: [shrugging it off 'not getting arrested for you' and quickening our step so we're a beat ahead] Jimmy: [💔 mime before she gets ahead of us and lighting a 🚬 when she is] Janis: ['bit rude' when you're not offered one immediately] Jimmy: [pull her back a step like it was rude of you to walk off and so you can light one for her in a saucy and intimate manner] Janis: [this 😒😣 truly I shan't elaborate] Jimmy: [a look like what even though we know] Janis: [taking the bottle back like that's what] Jimmy: [writes a ? in the condensation on the bottle because we like being annoying] Janis: [rubs it out and uses said condensation to draw a cross on his forehead] Jimmy: [that's cold and ticklish so we gotta retaliate by putting our forehead to hers OBVS even though we literally could have done a million other things] Janis: [the effort of NOT kissing him right now just to prove a point] Jimmy: [when you could just kiss her but you want her to do it so you're just doing the thing where you pull her closer to you even though you're already close af] Janis: [can't even LOOK at him you're that close, just this bottle between 'em] Jimmy: [you can lick your lips though boy and you shall] Janis: [bite your own like how dare you] Jimmy: [pull her hair like how dare YOU and also to bring her even closer] Janis: [noise between a gasp and you know what] Jimmy: [getting one back always] Janis: ['why'd you have to-' but interrupting ourself to kiss him finally] Jimmy: [have an intense makeout sesh for a bit] Janis: [idk where you are randomly in the street tis the season] Jimmy: [they blatantly are and I love that for you] Janis: [always the vibe, always the mood] Jimmy: [trying to think of somewhere you could go even though neither of you actually care] Janis: [oh the places you can't go when you're a teen or lowkey ever, just chillin'] Jimmy: [would love if there was somewhere you could go 'camping' for a little moment but idk] Janis: [there's always the park but yeah literally idk where else] Jimmy: [everywhere else would probably be a trek sadly] Janis: [maybe you can go cali house way, there's ample camping space there but probably not tonight luvs] Jimmy: [put a pin in that dream] Janis: [emotions too high rn] Jimmy: [rn and forever tbh] Janis: [we're not okay but also the best we've been in forever, very confusing lmao] Jimmy: [we know he's in exactly the same boat and that's why you are #fated] Janis: [what a time] Janis: [you should probably have to go properly home at some point tonight gal] Jimmy: [can't avoid it forever we haven't moved you in yet] Janis: [and you have been gone since boxing day so your mother would kinda exist hen] Jimmy: [yeah exactly and you don't hate her as much now she's a sassy single mum so] Janis: [yeah we're not thrilled by it all but we are gonna be running away soon so we'll give you a hot sec fam] Jimmy: [you can't be together always lads it's too dangerous because of all the shit we can't let you say] Janis: [plus Junie hasn't made an appearance this year so you all have to go a bit harder than normal soz] Jimmy: [that whole shitshow is very fresh] Janis: [mhmm, it's very recent lmao, and Caleb and honestly Edie, oh the mess, god sake shit nan why] Jimmy: [we're all struggling, not to mention we said that Carly died around this time of year so Ali really doesn't need this shit nan] Janis: [sad times all round honey] Jimmy: [remind me to decide when Jimothy's mum went missing in terms of that anniversary because I've not] Janis: [noted] Janis: [enjoy that bus gal] Janis: 👋 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🤖 Jimmy: if the driver ain't human, it ain't me you wanna be telling Janis: you with your facebook ma 👍 Janis: the driver is deffo human, can smell him from here Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: might be trying to get a lift to anywhere Janis: not quite the midnight train Jimmy: can't be bothered to wait that long Janis: let me know how anywhere is Jimmy: no need Jimmy: you can have the 👎 now Janis: oh, it is you Janis: 😒 Jimmy: who else were you after? Janis: checking you weren't 🤖 Janis: or 👵 Jimmy: 👴 Jimmy: soz to 💔 you Janis: why would that 💔 me Janis: my type, no Jimmy: you've had to piss off, for a start Janis: I'll survive Janis: have to pick up all the farmyard critters your brother ordered anyway Jimmy: tah for that Janis: you're welcome Janis: 🤠 Jimmy: 🤞 there's no room left for Ian Janis: maybe in the shed Janis: if he's lucky Jimmy: the trampoline's a good shout Janis: 🤔 might be too much fun Jimmy: with his back? Nah mate 🎻🎻 Janis: 😂 Janis: least he doesn't have the 👵 bladder Jimmy: he's welcome that we keep nicking his stash Janis: I appreciated my gift Janis: even if it weren't 🍆🎀 Jimmy: far as street corners go, didn't reckon that one were 💰💰 Janis: I weren't gonna tip you Jimmy: 👵👜💰 Janis: she was not gonna get involved Janis: watch, maybe Jimmy: that's what I said Jimmy: different street maybe Janis: well it's pretty rude you can't perform without a big audience Jimmy: never said that Janis: hmm Jimmy: weren't asking for a review either but alright Janis: not giving one don't worry Jimmy: it's the fans who'll be dead relieved Janis: that we don't hoe it up on street corners? Janis: as they weren't there with 📱s out, probably Jimmy: that and you don't reckon I'm always ready to perform Janis: I'd never say that Jimmy: you did Janis: not to the fans Jimmy: you're alright, not my own biggest one Janis: yeah right Janis: your head is the the only one to maybe rival mine in size Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Jimmy: dunno which 👵 or 🤖 you're on about Janis: you aren't shy Jimmy: you got a scale for that an' all? Janis: 😶🤐😬🙃😲😁😩🤮 Janis: something like that Jimmy: 👏👏🌹 Janis: I know you're 😁 Janis: but I'll 🤐 Jimmy: you Janis: you reckon? Jimmy: duh Janis: pretty nice Janis: could've gone 😲 Jimmy: still time for you to change my mind if you're that 💔 Janis: you like calling me scared, is all Janis: I'd go for 🙃 Janis: very dead in the eyes Jimmy: 👍's a bit strong Janis: yeah, it's an exclusive list Jimmy: obvs your 👀 are on it Janis: just my eyes? Jimmy: you reckon I never answer questions, what makes you think I'll do that one? Janis: miss 100% the shots you don't take, babe Janis: worth one, like Jimmy: I get it, you miss your coach and teammates Janis: coach is a bit much for the PE teacher who oversees all the girl's teams Janis: but whatever fantasy you're having, go off Jimmy: it's your 💭💕 Janis: fuck off is it Jimmy: SUCH a #lad I only know about 🥤 shots Janis: we're pretending you're a jock now Janis: okay, catching up Janis: 📸❌ Jimmy: Bill will be fuming if we start performing Grease Janis: such a snob Janis: loves the limelight way too much, that one Jimmy: you'll have to picture me in short shorts on your own time Janis: when I'm not thinking about my teammates, I'll give it a 💭💕 Jimmy: brb 💭 about the wrestling bit of the montage 🤼💕 Janis: pervert Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: Oi, what happened to whatever fantasy I were having, crack on? Janis: I can't help not being a lesbian Janis: you'll have to keep it in your head, won't you Jimmy: UGH fine Janis: you're such a twat Jimmy: SO complimentary today, you Janis: yeah, warn me if you want to screenshot and I'll bother Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Whatever Janis: talk to you later Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: cool Jimmy: is it? Janis: 'course Janis: I've got nothing to say about this bus, you're chatting shit Jimmy: bit rude Janis: is it? Jimmy: how isn't it? Janis: Some things my one track mind ain't interested in Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: just stop taking the piss Jimmy: alright Janis: sorry, I'm not in the mood Jimmy: What's wrong? Janis: just Janis: the lesbian shit Janis: I know you were joking but don't Jimmy: It's my homoerotic scene not yours, you're not Danny Zuko, soz girl Janis: alright, foreign exchange student Jimmy: I'm not into firing shots that'll actually wound you Jimmy: blanks are 👴 perks Janis: alright Janis: let you off then Jimmy: 🤞? Jimmy: no point you being fuming if I can't see how fit you look Janis: going home is shit Janis: know you already have Jimmy: I've not Janis: you've not? Jimmy: there's every point Ian being fuming and he won't be if I'm about to 🐕🏃 or babysit Janis: where are you gonna go Janis: for the forseeable Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: Come on Janis: I wouldn't have gone yet Janis: if you'd said Jimmy: that'll be why I didn't Janis: you're going to be bored Janis: and cold Jimmy: I'm northern Janis: now I seem like a total dick, right Jimmy: you went 'cause you had to Janis: least all the pubs are open Jimmy: 🍻 Jimmy: I'll find some 👴 mates Janis: yeah Janis: you will, right Janis: or go church, ALWAYS open, you know Jimmy: Jesus IS my BFF Janis: exactly Janis: keep you warm Jimmy: bit of 🙏'll do that Janis: ah, the homoeroticism strikes again Jimmy: nowt warmer than hell fire, babe Janis: I'll see you there still Janis: loads of ways to get in Jimmy: alright, but I only wanna see you if you recreate your angel outfit Janis: 😈 is a fallen angel Janis: he'll allow it Jimmy: chuffed to bits to know he'll be a fan Jimmy: loads of ours won't make it down Janis: they lack the imagination Janis: 💔 Jimmy: what they lack would be a massive list Jimmy: I'd bother telling you what else I like before I did them bulletpoints Janis: 🥧🍺🥔👀 Janis: I can keep up Jimmy: ain't you who's illiterate Janis: welcome for the pictures Janis: you can give me one more, for being nice Jimmy: 🚬 Janis: copout but fine Janis: add it to the list Jimmy: you never said it had to be one you didn't know Janis: didn't say it was a cheat Janis: just a bit...lazy? rude? idk Jimmy: I dunno what emoji I would do for what you smell like without making it weird 1. 👃? 2. 🐽? Janis: can't believe the emoji library has let you down like this Janis: 🐽 is cuter, less creepy, anyway Jimmy: there you go then Janis: I'll add it to the list Janis: I could just use 🚬 for you, that's what you smell like Jimmy: can't say I don't do owt to give you an easier go of it Janis: bit of a stretch to blame/gift your addiction to me but yeah Jimmy: but more romantic Janis: that is what's important here Janis: what do I smell like, now I'm worried Janis: at least you like it Jimmy: if I could narrow it down I'd have done Jimmy: you're not a vape Janis: nicest thing you've ever said to me? 🤔 Janis: 😍 🥰 😘 Jimmy: 😂 Janis: you really are great at this romance shit Jimmy: tah for not being 🍭🍨🍦🧁🍰🎂 it means loads to me an' all Janis: wouldn't be able to live with myself, tbh Jimmy: wouldn't be able to die with you Janis: 😷😷😷 Janis: ruin the ending, 👻 FUMING Jimmy: I'll tell him to take it up with 🚬 for only fucking your sense of taste Janis: there goes that sponsorship Jimmy: *🤐 Janis: I was doing great work saying how fit of a smell it was Janis: ffs Jimmy: Where? Janis: I put it on my list, duh Jimmy: said you could not that you did Janis: there you go then Jimmy: say it then Janis: I like the way you smell too Janis: and there should be a less creepy way to say it, you're right Jimmy: 🗨 can still stay on the list, not that you've even remembered it Janis: I've not forgotten it Janis: just doubt you like it as much as 🥔 for example Jimmy: what's it that I'm doing now? Jimmy: bit rude to doubt me Janis: I'm not a good conversationalist, not something I've got an ego about Jimmy: it's my list, dickhead, not yours Janis: but you're 🗨 about 🗨 to me Jimmy: and I'm 🗨  I rate it Jimmy: you don't get a say in what I like, we're not 👰💍🤵 Janis: I just don't believe you Janis: but that don't matter Jimmy: why? Janis: s'your list, like you said Jimmy: why don't you believe me? Janis: 'cos I never know what to say, I told you Jimmy: so you manage to say the right things without knowing Jimmy: that's 🏆 Janis: only when they've been written for me Jimmy: it were you who said she's a more boring version of you Jimmy: you know that's not when I mean Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: I like talking to you, I said it ages ago and I'm still going on about it now so there's something in that Jimmy: 💀💀💀🐴 Janis: alright, alright Janis: I'll believe you mean it Jimmy: that's 3 things about you you've had off the list, so I will shut up now, like Janis: I'm not giving your 2 IOUs Janis: not fair Jimmy: so just tell me now Janis: I'm 💭 Jimmy: don't hurt yourself Jimmy: I get it's WELL difficult Janis: Shut up Janis: I don't want you accusing me of copying you, is all Janis: I like your voice, that's different from 🗨 Jimmy: 🥇🎤 me Jimmy: goes without 🗨 the accent is an' all Janis: I'm not 🤤 'cos you're English Janis: make me sound like them Janis: but Janis: I like not loads of other cunts have heard it Jimmy: none of 'em have, my customer service voice isn't how I 🗨  or any other dickhead really does Janis: ✨ so special, me Jimmy: my sister and Ian don't wanna talk to me and our kid can't with 🗨 so you're basically it Jimmy: when Libi ain't shouting over you Jimmy: but don't let your head get too massive, can't have you stuck on that 🚍 Janis: 🎈📌 Janis: promise Jimmy: I'd have to swap uniforms and 🚒🪓 you out Jimmy: what a ball ache Janis: more cliche too Janis: no one actually wants to fuck the police Janis: gotta keep it niche Jimmy: go on then, is that your last ✔? Janis: that's only 2, I'm not adding your real/fake persona, soz 👮 Janis: alright, as you went 👀 I'll go 💋 Jimmy: fuming that you'd make me wanna kiss YOU when giving ME a compliment but alright Janis: we're both well kissable, that's fair to say Janis: ask the fans Jimmy: shh I'm 💭 and I don't want any of them twats popping up Janis: 😶 Janis: oops, defeats the point a bit Jimmy: you're alright, I control the 🔊 in my head, I'll put you on proper loud Janis: I'd add that to my list but then you'd owe me Janis: not very 😇 Jimmy: you'll have to be 😈 Janis: your 🔊 then Jimmy: for a start Janis: I'm not going to put my own on my list Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: there can be crossover Jimmy: I already know you like the 🔊 I can get you to, so don't worry if 🚬 were a copout that is Janis: you can't claim eyes forever Janis: or I'll just list all the good stuff now and you'll be well fucked Jimmy: not that long of a 🚍 ride Janis: contrary to what you reckon Janis: not that hard to think up the shit I like Jimmy: do it then Jimmy: I'm not 🙀🙀🙀 Janis: you might float away Janis: if you're still out Jimmy: got nowt else on or anywhere else to be Jimmy: 🎈 sounds decent enough Janis: 🤡 Jimmy: Dunno if I'm chuffed or gutted you didn't go for 🐘 Janis: trust you Jimmy: well you being a better 🤹 ain't going on the list Jimmy: fuming Janis: you're still good with your hands Janis: just different way Janis: 🖕✌️🤟 Jimmy: I Jimmy: wish you were here sounds like we're still at the 🏖 and I'm 🖋 a postcard but Janis: you can draw me one Janis: wish I had something to do that weren't wistfully staring out of windows but Jimmy: 👴 flirting Janis: they are pretty saucy, you know Jimmy: never heard anyone use saucy since before I ⚰👻 so tah for that, Judith Jimmy: racy is another one I miss 👴💔 Jimmy: #thegoodoldcourtingdays Janis: 🏹 to please Janis: and I know my audience Jimmy: 🎯 Janis: 💘 Jimmy: you had me at getting your MASSIVE ankle out Janis: oi, my ankle is perfectly normal now, don't try and trick me into sending you such a scandalous picture Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: proof's in the 📷 you set yourself up for that Janis: 😱 but my reputation! Jimmy: 🦶 size matters, my dear Janis: [obviously sends a picture with all sorts of pisstakey emojis and bants] Janis: dainty, I think you'll find Jimmy: [obviously sends a 😍 af selfie back which isn't even that pisstakey because we are feeling that rn and always] Janis: You're indecent Jimmy: can be if you like Jimmy: there's nobody else at the park Janis: how long do you want my list to be Jimmy: how long is it now? Janis: embarrassingly long Jimmy: can't have that Jimmy: needs to be so long you're past caring about 😳 Janis: what will I do when you fuck of 🎈 Jimmy: come with Janis: alright Janis: we'll work on your list some more and see Jimmy: alright Janis: your ❌🍆s to give thing makes the list easy though Janis: just FYI Jimmy: you're welcome Janis: you probably wanna avoid being that guy at the park though Janis: if I'm there, different vibe Jimmy: you heard there's no 👀 or 👂 Jimmy: you'd have to be the one reporting me Janis: I need you with me too bad to do that Janis: I don't need bars between us as well as distance, like Janis: even Bill didn't go there Jimmy: The antlers are long gone, even if the 🎵's live on in my 🧠 Jimmy: no reindeer games that involve a jailbreak, I promise Janis: Shame Janis: how are you going to top your festive #lewks? Jimmy: 🤔🤔 Jimmy: nowt but full body glitter? Janis: 😏 Janis: sounds itchy Jimmy: 💀👑 not have a pool? 💔🎻🎻 Jimmy: SUCH a letdown Janis: 💡 Janis: have to ask Janis: clog the filters right up Jimmy: hot tub'll do IF IT HAS TO but it don't have the #drama Bill's after Janis: she's definitely got one of them Janis: sti soup that it is 🤢 Jimmy: really painted a picture for me there Jimmy: might just leave the ✨ on so she knows where I've been Janis: imagine how many secretaries have been disappointed in there Janis: not to mention the lads not quite swallowed whole Janis: not going to be unnoticed, I guess Janis: shine on Jimmy: Dunno if I wanna 💭 Jimmy: more tragic than owt Bill's ever written Janis: #bonerkiller Janis: she's 💔🎻🎻 daddy could ever be anything less than 💯 as well Jimmy: 🤞 he sends her a postcard, can't wait to nick that off the fridge Janis: so hot when you're mean Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: not even started yet, baby Jimmy: didn't reckon on being chuffed to bits for her party but Janis: I know Janis: should thank us Janis: no one has ever been this buzzing Jimmy: except those lads when they realised they'd FINALLY 💀💀💀 Janis: you're special, babe Janis: not everyone likes it like you Jimmy: don't put that on your list Jimmy: makes me sound like a twat Janis: if I did it'd make me sound like a psychopath so Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: least we ain't made a list of the other dickheads we want to die Jimmy: length of it would be a nightmare Janis: and we're looking for less attention, not more Janis: school therapist can do one if she wants to chat Jimmy: bit rude she ain't introduced herself to me, been here ages struggling with this bloody paddy language barrier Janis: how dare she not want to start an inappropriate relationship with you Janis: Lucas doing all the heavy lifting for her 😤 Jimmy: am I losing my new boy ✨ or what? 😱 Janis: her cardigan collection means she's either celibate or a massive lesbian so Janis: you're still so ✨ I SWEAR Jimmy: Why not both? #dontlimityourselflove Jimmy: OH THANK GOD Janis: read that as #doityourselflove so, yeah Janis: must be what she's up to in her office, bless Jimmy: Be Lucas in detention an' all Jimmy: will have spent the hol practicing with them new ties so he's ready to go Janis: you better be here Janis: or my trauma is on your hands Jimmy: can't have that Jimmy: plays right into the hands of that gay therapist Jimmy: you don't know it weren't her spreading those rumours Janis: make sense Janis: did turn her down last time Janis: doubt she works commission for every fucked up kid she 'helps' Jimmy: I'll be here to save you, Joanne Janis: Ian don't move fast Janis: I've noticed Jimmy: he's got the 🐕 and 👶s to bring him 🍺🥧🥔 when there's no Sharon, no need to move Janis: so what's your next step Jimmy: body in the boot when I bring the car back? Janis: his or john/jane doe Jimmy: Sharons obvs Janis: duh Janis: we're framing him Janis: okay, where's she hang out Jimmy: depends Janis: when she ain't photocopying things Jimmy: she's always photocopying her tits, full time job, that Jimmy: what it depends on is which Sharon you mean Jimmy: but probably find any of them in the hair dye aisle Janis: all of 'em at once Janis: like confused blonde gazelles Janis: *blonde, with bad roots and tell-tell greys 😱 Janis: have to stack 'em up Jimmy: 😂 Janis: not a list, technically Janis: Sharon x ??? Jimmy: be weird seeing their real names in all the papers Janis: for your dad too Janis: can pin them on his cell wall Jimmy: Dunno what he calls 'em Jimmy: @ him Janis: I'm not sure I need to 💭 Jimmy: 🙀🙀🙀 Janis: bit late for the christmas card Jimmy: crack on drafting your new year's text Janis: Dear future father in law Janis: terrified Jimmy: *daddy in law Janis: 😂 Janis: even better Jimmy: do they not make new years cards? 💔 missing something if it's not 🖋🩸 Janis: you send the text before the rush hun Jimmy: oh tah, I'll make sure our kid gets on the tin can 📞 proper early Janis: yeah, little socialite will be well busy Jimmy: got a wedding to plan if nowt else Janis: don't tell him it's her 4th Jimmy: he'd never stop 😭😭 Jimmy: I'll 📞 him now, let Ian sort that Janis: nursery gets wild, what can she say Jimmy: gutted she can't come to the party 💀👑'd never survive her review Janis: 💔 Janis: have to arrange a play date Janis: 💀👑 n #2'd keel over 🤞 Jimmy: I'll stick in it the group chat Janis: make sure you make it clear there'll be kids there Janis: don't want them to die of excitement before we can do it ourselves Jimmy: 👍 Janis: not playing with them Janis: can't make me Jimmy: could but I won't Jimmy: you're my best mate, they ain't having you Janis: 😳 Janis: can I put that on the list Jimmy: do you want to? Janis: yeah Jimmy: so there's your answer Janis: what emoji means BFFs Jimmy: 🤝? 🤗? Janis: 🤝 Janis: I don't know what that other fucker is doing Jimmy: looks like when dickheads mime they're being kissed, do you know what I mean? Janis: well, we aren't THOSE kind of friends Jimmy: what sort are we? Janis: strictly 🤝 professional Janis: don't get any ideas Janis: so friendzoned Jimmy: alright Janis: 😂 Janis: is it? Jimmy: have to be now you've said, won't it? Janis: not necessarily Janis: what kind of friends do you think we are? Jimmy: I weren't planning to stick a post it on your head Janis: might help you remember my name Jimmy: I know your name, Juliet Jimmy: dunno what you're on about Janis: mhmm Janis: my mistake Jimmy: not as thick as I look, remember Janis: I know Janis: mates, remember Jimmy: 🥇🤝 Janis: ✨ Jimmy: you gonna wear them for the party an' all? Janis: couple outfit!!1 Janis: I don't know Janis: it's gonna be all LBDs and sparkles so Janis: got to do better Jimmy: question is, shopping trip or crafting session? Janis: I've had enough crafting for one holiday Jimmy: thought you were gonna say one life Janis: and 😢 you like that? Janis: not very nice Jimmy: being nice I were about to offer to take you 🛍  after work Janis: yeah? Janis: 😇 boy Jimmy: never said I'd 💰 for owt Jimmy: steady on Janis: duh Janis: don't need money Jimmy: 😈 then Janis: we can pretend Janis: you will be sick of using your customer service 🔊😁 Jimmy: already am Janis: I'll come in a bit early Janis: you can talk to me properly Jimmy: you're being too nice now Janis: that a no? Jimmy: it's a what do you want? Janis: 😈 Jimmy: go on Janis: tell me when you're off and you'll see if I turn up early or on time Jimmy: [a time] Janis: sorted Jimmy: what about about now? Janis: what could I possibly do that was 😈 now Janis: 🤔 Jimmy: you're right, no chance of topping the 🦶📷 Janis: that kind of shameless reverse psychology will always work Janis: hold on Jimmy: don't need to be a school therapist Janis: bringing her up ain't gonna get you anything 🔥 Jimmy: if you can't give me owt 🔥 when you're under it from any bollocks going, what kind of muse are you? 💔 Janis: you get what you give, dickhead Jimmy: [gives her something 🔥🔥 obvs] Janis: [more risque pic back than last time, idk the scale but one up from whatever we did before] Jimmy: alright, I take back what I said Janis: you better Jimmy: ❌ Janis: 👍 Jimmy: should've said you were so 🏆 I'd have offered to lend you my 📷 before the killing spree Janis: I prefer when you take them Jimmy: that going on the list? Janis: I don't know if I'm that comfortable with the spotlight Janis: but you make me look alright Jimmy: nowt to do with me Jimmy: how you look Janis: nah, but I don't immediately wanna hide or flip you off so Janis: take it Jimmy: gutted 🖕💕 Janis: [pic of] Janis: anything for you, dearest Jimmy: 😍😍😍😍 Jimmy: there she is Janis: not been mugged by some random slag Jimmy: bit awkward I were so into it if you were Janis: yeah, she'll be fuming if she ever finds out Jimmy: our secret Janis: fuck off Janis: supposed to say I could never get mugged 'cos I'm so 💪 Jimmy: I dunno how many fake muggers there were, mate Janis: don't matter Janis: GOD Jimmy: were he there an' all? bit rude of him not to help you out Jimmy: such a good catholic lass Janis: he helps those whole help themselves Janis: and you might be friends now but known me longer so he'll definitely let me smack you Jimmy: wouldn't stop you myself, how could I when you're THAT 💪🏆🥇 Janis: 😒 Janis: shush Jimmy: walking wounded, me Jimmy: about to turn into a ⛄ Janis: stop it Janis: focus on finding a decent pub Jimmy: without you as my sat nav? Janis: why'd you let me go dickhead Janis: I'm mad Jimmy: why'd you have to? Jimmy: there's your answer Janis: they'd all survive Janis: I don't care Jimmy: I'll live Janis: yeah Jimmy: don't be pissed off at me Jimmy: 🤗🤗🤗 Janis: do what you like, mate Jimmy: *🥺🥺🥺 Janis: you're so annoying, you know Jimmy: I'll go back when you have, it's 🥇🤝 of me or some bollocks Janis: don't go back 'til you want to Janis: just do something that ain't freezing to death, tah Janis: I get why you don't wanna be there Jimmy: never ain't an option Jimmy: and the park's nice, loads of 🏆💭 Janis: okay Janis: that's true Janis: what you can remember Jimmy: that you offering to fill in the gaps or what? Janis: I don't know what you and don't 💭 Jimmy: could just tell me what you do, for a start Janis: could do Jimmy: so? Janis: we first went there after we ruined that bitch's shit party, yeah Jimmy: with half the other dickheads who left Jimmy: for a bit Janis: right, but no one's got any stamina so then it was just us Jimmy: feels like ages ago Jimmy: but all our 🎨's still here Janis: I remember that Janis: and it pissed it down, like school trip Janis: weird how it wasn't long ago at all, actually Jimmy: 🚫🌨 Janis: not festive but Jimmy: you were 🥶🥶 any road, I remember that Jimmy: had to chuck you a jacket Janis: you insisted, I remember Janis: as per Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Jimmy: don't think you do 💭 Janis: was one of the many other lads I take there, was it? Jimmy: or all them sonnets Bill's got you bothering with Janis: if that's as far as your 💭 goes Jimmy: if that's as far as my memory goes, what? Janis: you don't remember as much as I do Jimmy: never said it were Janis: go on then Jimmy: I said sorry for being 😒 and having my own personal 🌧 over my head the way I would if you were really pissed off with me now Janis: what a nightmare Janis: making you say sorry all the time Jimmy: *not enough of the time Janis: not the kind of mate I'm trying to be Jimmy: why not? Janis: bit naggy Janis: bit more stepmum energy, that Jimmy: that weren't your reaction how I remember it Jimmy: might just be that the Sharons have done a shit job at giving out the right #energy Janis: I know it weren't Janis: weren't that drunk that night, if at all Jimmy: bit busy sorting that lass out for trying to make you look a twat Janis: n trying to hop on your dick, yeah Jimmy: that's every lass Janis: no need to flex, I've heard, like Jimmy: no need to 1. make it about me when it were about you 2. call me a lightweight Janis: 1. everything is about me, far as you're concerned baby 💕 2. clearly not as your 🧠 so clear Jimmy: clearly were saying you dunno what I do or don't remember a bit ago when you reckon you barely drank owt Janis: maybe you've got a shit memory Janis: not gonna assume nothing Jimmy: 👴💔 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: what? Janis: you're being irritating again Janis: what's your point? Jimmy: how am I? Janis: I don't know, just being pedantic and saying shit you know I'm not saying Jimmy: bollocks Janis: this is what I mean Janis: what's wrong, just come out with it Jimmy: nowt's wrong with me, I dunno what you mean Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: rewind then Janis: before you were using emojis solely to chat Jimmy: before we met's a bit far, Judith Janis: well they ain't my idea Janis: 💃💅🛍😘☕🍸💖 Janis: #inspo Jimmy: I get it, you want full verses Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: [writes her a decent poem cos just that bitch] Janis: where'd you steal that from Janis: I can't find it on google Jimmy: you won't Jimmy: it's from my 🧠 Janis: just now? Jimmy: sound more surprised, dickhead Jimmy: you chucked me loads of #inspo Janis: I am, sorry, like Janis: how do you do that Jimmy: what? Janis: say such Janis: 🤯 things Jimmy: just pissing about, me Janis: it's a skill Janis: you could use it for evil Janis: if you wanted Jimmy: have used it for 💰 Jimmy: at my school before Janis: yeah? Janis: 👏 Jimmy: no dickhead's gone above 🥔 prints Jimmy: had to do something to make it less grim Janis: you and your 🎨 temperament Janis: should do it here Janis: 💰s a 💰 Jimmy: massive language barrier Jimmy: don't 🗨 paddy Janis: gutted Janis: I'd help but Janis: need emotions and shit for that Jimmy: to proofread? Janis: yeah Janis: ❓❗ me Jimmy: nowt but going over it with a green 🖋 is it? Janis: depends how 💕 these notes are gonna be Jimmy: depends how 💰 they are Janis: so you'll do homework as well, sick notes? Jimmy: homework's a bit far Jimmy: unless it's about Bill obvs Janis: obvs Janis: you should do it Janis: you piss it out easy, evidenced loads of times Jimmy: know how to piss out a website and ads an' all, tah sir Jimmy: it's like he knew Janis: what a babe Janis: guardian 😇 Janis: don't put it on 💀👑 site, be a dead giveaway Jimmy: she'd have me doing 💌 for daddy Jimmy: talk about piss easy 😍🤤🤤 Jimmy: xoxo 👻 boy Janis: keep it professional, babe Janis: she'll never pay if you sound as thirsty as you do Jimmy: she'd never pay Janis: 😏 cold dead hands Jimmy: would need your 💪 Janis: I'd LOVE to fuck her up Jimmy: not just her, any twat who's 💰 shy Janis: you reckon I'll be 😢? Jimmy: *😁 Janis: exactly Janis: ☁team Jimmy: SUCH a ☀ you Jimmy: 💔 you're not here Janis: how cold are you? Jimmy: how northern am I? Janis: stubborn* Janis: pretty damn stubborn Jimmy: *💪 Jimmy: VERY is right Janis: I won't disagree Janis: everyone's 👀 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: it's rude Jimmy: why? Janis: I can't look at you ALL the time Jimmy: can if you want Janis: can't right now Jimmy: 📷 Janis: but then the second problem becomes the first Jimmy: ? Janis: can't touch you Jimmy: you've got your perfect 💭 recall from when you did Janis: have to do Jimmy: I'll 🏃 Jimmy: race the 🚍 back Janis: very classics Janis: bit after Bill's time but he's down Jimmy: are you? Janis: you know I miss you Jimmy: not what I asked Janis: it'd keep you warm Jimmy: not for long if your mum won't have me through the door Janis: she's got loads of kids, won't notice one more Janis: you can come, if you wanna Jimmy: alright Janis: I want you too Jimmy: then I'll be there in a bit Jimmy: he'll be chuffed to have his car again Janis: yeah Janis: wanna take it for one last ride though Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: I know Janis: redundant Jimmy: I get it, you just wanna hear it from me Janis: naturally Jimmy: it's a yeah, never not a yeah to you Janis: 💀 me Jimmy: as promised Janis: s'all I want Jimmy: so slowly, so painfully Janis: shit Jimmy: if you can't feel the whole 🔪 we'll just have another go Janis: death by a thousand cuts might seem a bit ambitious Janis: but I've got trust in you Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Janis: you are Jimmy: you Janis: but you Jimmy: you heard me Jimmy: you're Janis: you're more Janis: whatever you were going to say Jimmy: that's just you Jimmy: more than I can 🗨 Janis: but you make me feel so Jimmy: I should be fuming that you make me feel owt but there's no room for bollocks like that Janis: yeah Janis: like, I should care, be careful Janis: but I don't and I can't Jimmy: fuck it Jimmy: nowt matters but this Janis: fuck it Janis: if you're alright with it, so am I Jimmy: you're all I want Janis: then I'm yours Jimmy: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: I've got no words for what that felt like Janis: but 👍 not 👎 Janis: yeah? Jimmy: like the twist of a 🔪 Jimmy: 🥇👍 Janis: good Janis: you're welcome Jimmy: I'll never get there if you keep being so Janis: It's hard being quiet when there's so much I could say to make you Janis: but I will Jimmy: it's hard being quiet Janis: you don't have to be, do you? Jimmy: not the one on a packed 🚍 but Janis: I've got loads of practice Jimmy: I'm not putting it on my list but take your 🏆 Janis: you don't have to Janis: when we get to mine, there's places we can be as loud as we want Jimmy: okay Janis: warm, comfortable places Janis: don't worry Jimmy: Oi Janis: I know, you're VERY 💪 and even more Northern Janis: but I want you to feel comfortable before I kill you Jimmy: don't be making out that owt worries me but how fucking far into the middle of nowt you live Janis: I know, it's very inconvenient Janis: miss his car, like Jimmy: why didn't I just come with you? fuck's sake Janis: same reasons I didn't stay with you Jimmy: 🥇💡 us Janis: Don't tell the fans Janis: so disappointed Jimmy: far as they know we're never apart Janis: if only, babes Jimmy: 💭🥺 Janis: I am more bored Janis: when you aren't about Jimmy: that it? Jimmy: the full scale of your feelings Janis: shh Jimmy: you're less 😳 when I'm not about Jimmy: greatest 💔 this town's ever had to go through Janis: if anyone wants to disagree I'll 🥺 at them Jimmy: What kind of dickhead would dare? It's the sort of 🎨 that ain't subjective, soz Janis: you'll have to let 'em know Jimmy: 📢 OI Janis: 😂 just like that Jimmy: know what I'm doing, me Janis: you don't need to tell me Janis: but I am going to need you to show me again, like right fucking now please Jimmy: seeing as you were so polite about it, my dear Jimmy: what can I do for you right fucking now? Janis: just Janis: tell me you feel it too Janis: how much you wish I was there, or you was here Jimmy: I feel it Jimmy: the fans aren't the only dickheads 🤞 we were together all the time Janis: not my fault everyone else is shit Jimmy: 🤏 your fault you're not but Janis: you're not even meant to be here Jimmy: 👻 barely am, it's alright Janis: no it's not Janis: but I don't care Jimmy: it is, we can just Janis: just Jimmy: stick together Janis: yeah Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🤝 Janis: makes sense Jimmy: good Jimmy: how much I like having you about is too much of a copout for the list Janis: when you're gone Janis: be more of a test Janis: always about now, like Jimmy: we're going together so ⚰ budge up dickhead Janis: shared enough single beds with you to manage Jimmy: might wanna stretch out a bit for the afterlife Janis: double plot?! 😱🥴 Janis: can only dream Jimmy: 👑 Janis: chuck ourselves off the same bridge, loads of room to swim about Jimmy: 🧜🏽 Janis: know I beat you so bad boxing day but it's okay Janis: can't drown once you're 💀 Jimmy: bollocks did you Jimmy: could've broken all my ribs and I'd still 🏆 Janis: the fact you've brought up your handicap speaks 🔊 Jimmy: of how 💪🥇 I am Janis: 👌 Jimmy: you're done being nice now, I get it Jimmy: 🦈 Janis: you don't like it when I'm nice really Jimmy: don't I? Janis: nah Janis: do you? Jimmy: you reckon you know my ✔ Jimmy: no need to answer Janis: if you wanna be my mate you clearly don't ✔ nice very highly Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: you were talking bollocks when going on about how nice you ALWAYS are to me Janis: by my standards Janis: too nice Janis: but by everyone else's, not winning no 😇🏆 Jimmy: 1. I give out the 🏆 2. no fucker else has any standards around here Janis: what's your verdict then Jimmy: on how nice you are or how much I rate it? Janis: both Jimmy: what's my verdict on you asking questions you know the answer to, more like Janis: 😳 you Jimmy: you Janis: tell me how nice I am, go on 😏 Jimmy: make me Janis: 🥺🥺 Jimmy: it don't work without your 👀 Janis: [🥺 selfie] Jimmy: rude Janis: no, I'm nice Jimmy: it'd be nice if you were here and I could just Janis: what would you do Jimmy: you know what Jimmy: I'm nice Janis: yeah Janis: I can say it Jimmy: might do but you can't take a compliment Janis: psh Jimmy: alright so if I 🗨 nobody's ever been this nice to me, you won't be 😳😳? Janis: maybe a 🤏 but you don't need to know Jimmy: I want to though Jimmy: your 😳 is high on my list Janis: because it makes me look so 🤓 Jimmy: it makes us even Janis: [adorable nerdiness] Jimmy: might not remember when I got on the 🚗 to tell you the story of being a twat but I do and when it happened an' all Jimmy: 😳 before it were 😎 me Jimmy: it's just something you can do, Janet 🏆👏🌹 Jimmy: to be fuming about but I'm not Janis: Then you won't be mad that I do remember Jimmy: 'course you do, you were 🙀 I were gonna fall off Janis: 'scuse me for not wanting to watch you get injured when I could have the pleasure of doing it myself Janis: not Lucas Jimmy: compared to him you're a saint Jimmy: but don't worry I won't let your shit nan know Janis: just not a watch in the cupboard type Janis: I wouldn't bring up the subject, she might assault you or something Jimmy: can't have that or any more time off work 🤐 Janis: 💔 Janis: the world needs it's caffeine and it's eyecandy Janis: can't be selfish like Jimmy: direct your 🎻🎻 @ my manager SO hard done by that I didn't do boxing day he's given me every shite shift going til we're in school Janis: what a prick Janis: what shifts will he be working, I wonder Jimmy: there you go with the questions you know the answers to, girl Jimmy: if it weren't a full time job pissing off Ian, what with him being so easy going and it taking ages to do his head in, I'd add him to the hit list an' all Janis: fair, did do that one for effect, babe Janis: they'll send him off to some over shithole and you'll have a new one in a month, s'what they do with managers, yeah Janis: not worth the 🕖 or 💪 Janis: other* Jimmy: 💔 it ain't what they do with Ian's role within his company Janis: a good sex pest is hard to come by Janis: keeping tight hold, like Jimmy: every other dickhead stopping at stealing 🖋s Jimmy: pisstake Janis: he must be good at whatever the fuck he's actually meant to be doing besides 👀🖐 Janis: try to be selective so we don't have no more famines n shit Jimmy: @iantaylor8 for the Q&A Janis: think I'm 😍 for accounts Janis: no tah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you're gonna have to offer me something more to pretend to be 😍 for your dad, soz Jimmy: I'm alright for you not fake dating him an' all Janis: good Janis: not seeing how that would EVER make him wanna leave anyway Janis: such a delight Jimmy: when you 💔 him duh Jimmy: but it's still a no tah Janis: think of some way before resorting to that Jimmy: I'd stay before that Janis: I appreciate it Jimmy: me an' all that you don't wanna fuck my dad Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: right Janis: you don't look that alike Jimmy: I'll take that compliment Janis: you can definitely have it Jimmy: that'll be the nicest thing you've ever said to me Jimmy: even if I were about forever Janis: bit sly to challenge me to compliment you loads Janis: 🥰 you Jimmy: 😏 Janis: he's clearly just pissed he's past it, and weren't as 😎 as you to begin with Jimmy: we're all 💔🎻😭 he gave his best years to Debbie when there's loads of Sharons cracking on with doing their roots as we 🗨 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: *😢 I know Janis: yet again, SUCH a shame my ma's a natural blonde Janis: been a widow for ages, give him some tips Jimmy: for her Jimmy: what a bloody catch she's missed out on there Janis: 💔🎻😭 all over again Janis: 'tis the season Jimmy: 🤞 they've taken the mistletoe down in his office Janis: can he hang on 'til NYE Janis: such a lad, it seems unlikely Jimmy: the things that Q&A would be full of if you'd only crack on, girl Janis: I'm naturally curious, don't be rude Jimmy: 💀💀💀😼 Janis: you saw all the fuckers Janis: just more siblings Jimmy: and I had to tell our kid all their names Janis: 😏 Janis: unlucky Jimmy: you gonna stop pissing about and get fluent or what 🤓? Janis: oi Janis: give me a break, it hasn't ACTUALLY been that long, remember Jimmy: I get it, I'm no Mr Lucas 😭😭😭 Janis: who is Janis: 🏆 lifetime achievement best teacher ever Janis: anyway, I like it when you talk, remember Janis: only so much your brother and me need to 🗨 about Jimmy: I were more thinking about you pulling your weight when him and Libi 🗨 but alright Janis: how long did it take to learn it Janis: actually Janis: obviously you didn't before 👶 Jimmy: no different from learning any other, how good's your spanish? Jimmy: it's about how much you bother, have to every day Janis: makes sense, not like it's optional Janis: and my Spanish is pretty shit, Lucas don't teach it 💔 Janis: it's like Portuguese but barely know any of that either, shit nan being predictably shit Jimmy: what about 🍀? Janis: little better Janis: did offer my services in good faith earlier Jimmy: to answer your Q, still get things wrong and he's been about and deaf for ages Jimmy: but it says fluent on the CV, nowt else matters Janis: 👌 Janis: long as you got the basics down, he ain't 💀 any time soon Janis: might try it with my cousin Janis: she don't speak Jimmy: bring her on the playdate long as Libi won't be 💔 Jimmy: our kid could have a teaching 🏆 an' all Janis: her ma probably won't have that Janis: not Libi stealing my phone to come up with the excuses there Jimmy: she the one from church? Janis: 💀 crew's oldest member, yeah Jimmy: next time there's a catholic occasion, we'll steal the kid Jimmy: can't really stop us, her Janis: 🦴 as a weapon? Jimmy: better bring the 🐕 in case Janis: 💡🥇 Janis: alright, I'm down Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: you off that fucking 🚍 yet or what? Janis: how far have you even got Jimmy: if it was real 💕 you'd have got off to 🏃 an' all Jimmy: have met me in the middle Janis: thank god it's fake Janis: don't need us both aimlessly 🏃 about Janis: but I'm basically back now, so I will keep a 👀 out Jimmy: have a 🥃 if you've got owt left from that 🎁 dunno where I am Janis: put your location on so I can santa-track you Janis: know what you and 🐑 are like, you'll get well off track and well distracted Jimmy: nowt to do with your 👀 OBVS Jimmy: [does put his location on] Jimmy: Where am I then? Janis: you can compliment me when you're nearer Janis: well done for being in the right county Janis: 🤔 okay, hang on Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: I'm gonna get your dad's car and come find you Janis: may as well Jimmy: that's how lost I am 😒 Janis: that bus takes long enough Janis: I wanna see you now Jimmy: alright Janis: you didn't fuck up that horrifically Jimmy: bollocks Janis: it's even more classics that you're lost Janis: very goals Janis: really should pick you up on horse but fuck that Jimmy: fake a 🐴 when we tweet it, be alright Janis: as long as you're not feeling let down Jimmy: NEVER Janis: good Janis: so ✨ you Jimmy: I just wanna see you an' all Janis: 👀 at me long as you like Jimmy: very subtle challenge Janis: yeah, 'cos that's all I want Jimmy: need an even longer lens to stalk you from the north Jimmy: make the most of my 😍 dickhead Janis: 😒 Jimmy: what? Janis: nothing 'cept someone just got off at my stop so I might be about to be murdered Jimmy: Oi, I ain't falling for that again Jimmy: you're too 💪🏆🥇 baby, weren't that what you wanted me to say about the mugging? Janis: ugh Janis: so tough being this tough Jimmy: whoever that dickhead is can't 💀💀💀 you Jimmy: not part of the plan Janis: I'll let 'em know you said so Jimmy: 📢 OI Jimmy: my victim, piss off Janis: **fake girlfriend Jimmy: *best mate I've ever had Janis: oi Jimmy: ? Janis: meant to be scaring off weirdos, not being soft Jimmy: just claiming you, Jessica, if you wanted to be pissed on, you should've said Janis: got to draw the line somewhere Jimmy: I'll chuck you a pen Jimmy: can stab that prick with it after Janis: 🧛👅🩸 Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: don't fill up on him Janis: come on Janis: I could never get enough of you Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: Baby Janis: I don't want anyone else Jimmy: control your 🩸 lust for a bit longer, tah very much Jimmy: you can have all mine Janis: you know you've got all of mine Jimmy: hurry up and come here Janis: I am, I swear Jimmy: on what? Janis: my 👀s? Jimmy: both of them? Jimmy: if I have to craft you an eye patch I might as well fucking sign up for Pinterest Jimmy: be that mum Janis: do you have a preference? Janis: bit weird Jimmy: is it? Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: you do not Janis: you're taking the piss now Jimmy: am I? Jimmy: not telling you now, mate Janis: 😣 Jimmy: do you want me to have a favourite one? Janis: that's no sort of answer Jimmy: it's a question for you to answer, so go on Janis: I don't think you do Janis: but I wouldn't be mad if you did Jimmy: it's the one on my left Janis: I'm gonna have to stop to look Janis: and then look at yours when you get here Jimmy: no #hate to the other one Jimmy: it's just Janis: you're just Jimmy: I don't know how to explain Janis: you don't need to Janis: I get it Jimmy: might be able to get your head round it if you have a look Jimmy: no good with words, me Janis: it IS weird but I feel it too Janis: I've 👀 at you enough to have favourites and 👀 things that it feels Janis: 😳 to admit to noticing Jimmy: I thought you were gonna say you'd looked at yourself enough to have a favourite eye Janis: charming 😂 Jimmy: probably don't spread that about, babe Jimmy: I mean, I get it, if I were you'd I'd be in the mirror all the time an' all but Janis: you know what you look like Janis: #bigheadconfirmed Jimmy: I never said I don't look at myself loads in every shiny surface of the CG Jimmy: what else am I gonna 👀 @ the customers?! I'm alright for that Janis: don't blame you Janis: obvs Jimmy: so go on, you said you've got favs Janis: I am not giving you them all Janis: right now Jimmy: one for one Janis: fair enough Janis: your freckles Janis: the ones on your back, especially but all of them Jimmy: you should've said before now, I'd have chucked you a pen for them an' all Jimmy: be a bit rude of me to do it to yours Janis: I can use my hands Janis: not that I scratch with purpose or intent Jimmy: 🎨 Janis: I should 📸 Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I won't get a weird close up of your eye or owt though Janis: do what you like Janis: just leave it off the feed if it ain't #goals Jimmy: whatever we do is #goals Janis: just too good Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: alright, I'm getting near, stay still now Jimmy: 😎🚬 Jimmy: though that does sound like you're 🙀🙀 of sudden movements Janis: just mean don't keep walking and walk right past me/into the headlights tah Jimmy: not how you wanna 💀💀💀 me Jimmy: I'll leave it out Janis: you'll be glad you did Jimmy: never been a letdown, you Janis: don't need to big me up until I prove it Jimmy: I'm only saying you have, not that you don't have to keep doing it Janis: have to? Janis: 😏 Jimmy: I said what I said Janis: [turn up] Janis: get in Jimmy: [does obvs but not before opening her car door and kissing her because simply must] Janis: [pulling him into the car on your side so you're both in the driver's seat now, having a moment] Jimmy: [fully support that wherever you are rn] Jimmy: [telling her he's missed her in between kisses when he's capable of forming words that don't just come out as sounds, we've probably had to have a few attempts at it lol] Janis: [she's not going to be any better so don't you worry boy, probably just keep saying 'I' and 'you' and not finishing any sentences here] Jimmy: [it's a mood and we all know it, like he's been drinking from Ian's stash but not enough that we can run away with ourselves, he's already said a lot of feelsy shit here, we see you and your fave eye sir] Janis: [we've said a lot without saying it in a way that seems serious af but we know honey we know] Jimmy: [not even doing it deliberately so it hurts more when she runs away, the feels are just naturally high and things be progressing] Janis: [mhmm, damn you shit nan, why you gotta ruin it] Jimmy: [she can't, you'll get back to this lads and beyond it] Janis: [that's true] Janis: [for now, stay in this car as long as you wanna, then go back to the cali gaff and live your best life some more] Jimmy: [soz fam that they can't bear to be separated] Janis: [its lowkey a good thing anyway, you can take the car to work/back to Ian, at least she's at home, like we all know you'll take that] Jimmy: [we all just want you to be happy hen] Janis: [though we are suspish/triggered by you Jimothy, we're not wilding yet Jimmy: [soz about that Jimothy, Liam really did you dirty] Janis: [oh lads, the fact we'll never really know the truth of that whole situ] Jimmy: [we really did something there, I love us] Janis: [do you think anyone would watch the tapes before Libi? 'cos like Ali would wanna but wouldn't but I could make a case that Ruster MIGHT, which would be drama] Jimmy: [oooh yeah good point, I do like the idea of that drama because I am rude] Janis: ['cos they could still come away from it thinking he was just a stalker or whatever we want] Janis: [but it would potentially give some closure before Libi is old enough to watch and understand 'cos they'd clearly love each other] Jimmy: [yeah agreed, I definitely think there's a lot of potential there with what they could take away from viewing all those vids] Janis: [okay, noted for later honeybuns] Janis: [is there anything we wanna vibe for tonight] Jimmy: [I think we've done a lot and this is probably getting long] Janis: [coolio hun]

[babaleshy]

Something I May Need to Stop Doing...

I'll be venting in this post, but this is about the desire to move out of a desperate want for change right now even though such a move is not meant to be.

On occasion, I go onto zillow's website and check out houses around Pittsburgh out of curiosity just to see what houses are going for what price in what kind of condition. I've noticed something incredibly enticing: there are some houses going for under $100,000 and are technically livable. It's just got flaking/chipping paint, may need new rugs, and other general clean-ups. The only "major" thing I wanna do to any of these houses falling under this criteria is the fact that I feel more comfortable with a tin roof.

These houses that I find are within city limits, most of these houses I've shown an interest in are close to sidewalks. This means if I were to move into one of these houses, then I'd have a chance to properly commute!

Ah, but why exactly am I making this post? What is it that I'm venting about? And what did I mean earlier when I said "not meant to be?"

Back in 2014 (autumn, specifically), my husband and I had to move out of our apartment in downtown Pittsburgh to my parents' farm in Ohio. Two reasons made us do this: one was the skyrocketing rent prices when HUD sold our building, causing rent to go from $539/mo to $720/mo. My husband worked at a casino, and was making $10/hr, so when rent prices went up like mad, we really began to struggle to survive. The other thing was bedbugs. The building manager laughed at our discomfort and said, "What do you expect me to do about it? Where would everyone go for the building to be treated?" Like, you're a shit manager if you haven't come up with those contingency plans.

Paying $720/mo for a bedbug-infested apartment (bedbugs are fucking hard to get rid of) and living in a constant state of itchy breakout made us decide it was time to move in with my parents. Because we literally could not afford to live anywhere else, and our student loan debt fucked up our credit scores, so we couldn't even get a house (and we were looking for one at the time!).

We used to think living on this farm was temporary until reality set in, that there is absolutely no possible way for us to make it on our own now. My husband has ADHD and anxiety and is still struggling to practice to get his driver's license (it's hard when my dad is a major source of my husband's stress; my dad's an asshole and gets worse by the year), and I'm Autistic, so I can't hold down a regular job, and nothing else is hiring.

In terms of getting a job for me at all, either I'd have to go to school for my special interest for the job (ecology, entomology, and/or paleontology) or I'd rather work in a library.

Welp, college is far too expensive for me to pay out of pocket, and my already existing student loan debt is barring me from getting any sort of financial aid to go back to school at all. As far as the library is concerned? Remember when I said my husband is currently struggling to practice for his license? (He doesn't get much practice because my dad is a stressful asshole that makes my husband have a horrible headache and anxiety after he drives). We have 2 vehicles, one my mom uses to get to work, and the other my dad uses to take my husband to work as well as do errands in like grocery shopping and shit like that.

I can't get a ride.

Can't ride a bicycle, either. It's definitely not safe (I live in America, if you couldn't tell). My parents' farm is deep within one of the back roads with one of the properties on this road being an oil rig. The oil workers drive like assholes, not caring what animal they hit, speeding through here. There are dirtbikes and four-wheelers that speed through here, too. There's no room for 2 vehicles to pass one another, and nothing but pure fucking hill the moment you step off the side of the road. I literally cannot bike here.

But let's pretend I got onto one of the main roads on either end of our road. It's even worse! And STILL no room for bicyclists! This goes for fucking miles until you reach a residential area! Except for a nearby little village-town that has the closest library branch. It's the village my husband grew up in, but there's a lot of sketchy turns, corners, and again, no room for bicycles. This includes main roads.

With all this in mind, I actually considered the possibility of moving to that village, because the village itself is actually safe enough to bike ride in. The problem is: I'm not guaranteed to get a job at the library at all. I tried getting a job as a library clerk at the Carnegie Library in Pittsburgh, got interviewed and everything, and didn't get the job for whatever reason. In fact, I'm not guaranteed a job at all at any library branch, regardless of the neighborhood. So moving to such an area depending on the chance of being hired there is not worth it.

Such a village is actually rather unfriendly, and that goes for a lot of communities here on this side of Ohio. You'd think this was one of the southern states from its people and what flags they fly.

So why not Pittsburgh? Why not move there if we could?

Well, I thought about it. It has all the perks I could expect such as public transportation, somewhat safer bicycling areas to commute to school and work, and more importantly: THINGS TO DO.

Living in the middle of nowhere blows when you want to, on your own without relying on someone to drive you, go and do something, such as buying fabric or art supplies for future projects, or going to the library, or anything, really! Yeah, I do want to garden, but I don't have the means to do that on a damn farm (long, frustrating story that made me stop believing my parents' promises).

Not to mention, I still have friends in Pittsburgh, If I wanna see them, they don't have to drive an hour and 45 minutes (and that's if they have a car) to visit. I got 2 friends here in the area, and they're busy with their work's demanding schedules. When we do hang out, Cards Against Humanity, Uno, and D&D can only do so much until it gets old and boring and you wanna do something else that isn't hanging out at a dead mall. There is truly nothing to do here. Pittsburgh has the museums, libraries, parks, and far more interesting establishments to lurk in.

So again: why not Pittsburgh?

Because that city has changed and is still changing compared to when I was last there. My regular watering hole (The Beehive) is no more. There are neighborhoods being gentrified (meaning I'm not guaranteed to keep my home even if I pay it off). Businesses are closing, meaning people will be losing their jobs, and some of the other places hiring (like libraries) are not guaranteed to hire me, especially when I haven't had a job since 2010.

There's also my cat to consider; she gets stressed at the sound of a lawn-mower (I don't blame her). She wouldn't be able to handle the sounds of the city. Unless we found a place not too close to downtown, such a move is a no-go.

I've daydreamed about living in Pittsburgh again. I'm homesick for Pittsburgh. I've realized only recently that that city was my home. Not this farm, not even the house I grew up in. I felt like a person who didn't have to rely on people for rides and such. It's the only place where I've truly lived on my own and enjoyed it.

I've actually considered moving out of this country and found that even more impossible. No matter which country you pick, no matter what language you learn, not only do you have to pay for your things to be shipped, for your plane ticket for a one-way trip, or whatever you need to become a citizen there, you still have to pay at least $2,000 to revoke your American citizenship or else you will be forced to pay American taxes despite never setting foot on American soil ever again.

Thanks to capitalism, America has made it fucking impossible for the average person to leave for good. If you are born here, you are financially enslaved here unless you're wealthy enough to leave.

So... What's the plan?

Well, for now: not much. The pandemic has set plans back a bit, but my parents have a lien on the house thanks to my private student loans my mom was bullied and forced into co-signing for. She... I guess?... is almost done paying them off? I don't know. My parents don't like communicating need-to-know info with me and then get mad when I don't absorb it through osmosis. Once the lien is taken off the house, mom wants to move north to be near her sister, and she said she'll try finding a farm for sale near Kent State so it'll be an easier commute (be it by bicycle or by car). My intention is to enroll there to be able to get a job as an ecologist (focus in entomology, specializing in arachnology) with a minor in paleontology.

Once I've gotten that all taken care of (as well as my husband going back to school for what he wants), we move to the pacific northwest, mainly just north of Seattle somewhere.

I hate Ohio. I hate running into people I've gone to school with that I try to avoid (more like I see them, but they don't recognize me? At least I hope not?). I hate this place so much. I hate this climate, being near people I don't want just randomly showing the fuck up. And what's the use of living near family when they don't want to bother visiting you? I hate hearing my mom tell me so-and-so that I obviously want nothing to do with told her to tell me they said hi. I'm tired of fearing I'll run into someone that abused me in the past because now they're back in the fucking area again apparently.

I've got my fingers crossed that something is gonna give and college to some level (community college?) will be free for residents or something. It'll give me a chance to go back to school for something close to what I wanna do so I can maybe get a job? Completing something at a community college would at least make it easier for me to get enrolled at a university.

My husband and I picked Seattle (or close to Seattle) for its climate. It's (usually) not blistering hot every goddamn year, and it's not horribly cold thanks to the mountain range (I'm quite cold-intolerant). We both enjoy overcast weather and rain. We'd rather take our chances with volcanoes than earthquakes or hurricanes in areas where these things are guaranteed to happen yet nobody ruling these areas wants to invest in infrastructure that helps stand a chance against them. Seattle also has a nice combination of city and wilderness side-by-side. Not much of that with Pittsburgh.

If I was forced to only move to Pittsburgh and no other city, I wouldn't mind, especially since I'm more familiar with Pittsburgh than I am with anything in my current local area (because I had to travel on foot instead of relying on a car to get to places!). Fuck, my mom wouldn't even let me do anything by myself out of the yard when we lived in the village I grew up in because she was a paranoid fuck and by the time I JUST STARTED gaining independence for having a bike and bicycling to the post office everyday, we moved to this farm.

Oh, this isn't a roof over my head I should be thankful for. My parents got screwed. Our water is full of iron and calcium that no filter can fix, so we constantly have plumbing problems, the post and internet connections are questionable at best, we get ant infestations from 2 species EVERY YEAR, all for a farm my mom wanted for horses she always wanted and eventually got but has little next to no energy to spend the time she wants with them and she refuses to admit her age has a lot to do with it on top of her working so she sits in the living room on THREE DIFFERENT DEVICES sucking up bandwidth to religiously watch every fucking livestream of a country singer she likes (and complains if she's missing it for any reason!), scroll through Facebook, and play a fucking shitty app game!

Our internet out here? The physical equipment is outdated (copper wires instead of fiber-optic cables) because the fucking company doesn't wanna spend the money to upgrade it.

So instead, we're stuck here, with my husband losing his sanity bit by bit by the day at his shitty retail job (every other available job offering would be worse in this area) and I sit here and hope that maybe, JUST MAYBE, I could start gardening soon.

I miss Pittsburgh. I really do. But despite all of its benefits it would give me and my husband if we moved back, I don't think it will happen.

In the off-chance that we don't move north, that my dad's assholery intensifies and he decides to remain here (he has to legally agree to sell this house in order for my mom to move north; dad's reasons keep fucking changing), Pittsburgh is a nice back-up plan. Pitt University actually has the major I'd want to go back to school for, as well as what my husband wants to go back to school for, and we'd already be familiar with the city and what to expect of it. However, we're aiming higher, and hoping to move to the pacific northwest, instead.

But I think to avoid losing my sanity, I should stop daydreaming about a future that may never be.

Fingers crossed!