#i haven't interacted with fan fiction in so long

[tenpixelsusie]

"Rick is the better scientist!" "actually, Reagan is the better scientist because-!!" shut up shut up shut up we all know the best fictional scientist is ALPHYS from UNDERTALE

[03jyh23]

🌏⌇atlas┆song mingi

│part of goes to waste the series based on my favourite keshi songs

│listen here

rapper!mingi x non-celebrity!reader

│synopsis: in the heart of bustling seoul, you and mingi shared a luxurious penthouse apartment. despite the grandeur, loneliness consumed you as mingi's skyrocketing fame distanced him from the loving boyfriend you once knew.

│genre: lovers to strangers, angst

│trigger warnings:  heartbreak (obviously), mature language, mention of past trauma and pain

│words: 8.9 k

│playlist: empty box an album by song mingi, tracklist: after hours, too late, killing me (english), wait, paranoid, drunk, lonely heart, empty box (english)

│reminder: what you’re about to read is purely fiction, so let’s keep it separate from reality.

!minors do not interact!

— hi there! finally, here's the next part of goes to waste series. i had to take some time off after publishing 2soon (check it if you haven't yet), which was a truly personal piece, but now i'm back! atlas is very loosely inspired by the song; it's more about the vibe the song gave me than the actual lyrics. i also changed the original synopsis quite a bit because i honestly didn't feel like sticking with the first version. same as with 2soon, i spent some time creating a playlist, and if you do decide to listen, i hope you enjoy the songs i've chosen. oh! and if you read through my small author notes, then you're lucky because i can finally reveal that both the reaper (jongho) and right here (yeosang) will be published as a mini-series (but only after finishing finding our way back)!

love, monika ♡

i’d be so grateful for a little love – a tagged reblog or comment would truly make my day!

│taglist: @skittyneos │@kyeos4ng │ @vcutparis │@hoeforalbedo

You were sitting on a bed in the bedroom you shared with Mingi in your very own luxurious penthouse apartment in the bustling center of Seoul. It hasn't been long since you moved in here, but the vastness and elegance of the place made you feel even lonelier than ever. Mingi was out, performing at a sold-out arena show, and the glaring reality was that you weren't there to support him. It wasn't that you didn't want to attend; the painful truth was that he simply forgot to invite you—his girlfriend of the last 4 years, someone who had stood by his side through thick and thin. You looked at the floor, your eyes catching the sight of your suitcases and bags packed meticulously with your belongings, ready to move out of this once cherished home. The thing was, you couldn't quite leave without seeing Mingi one last time. Your heart ached at the thought of parting without a final goodbye, and it didn't let you go. You didn't know life without Mingi, and the prospect left you shit scared. The very thought of navigating through your days without his presence was enough to send shivers down your spine. However, you couldn't pretend any longer that Mingi hasn't changed. The boy you once fell in love with, who was caring, attentive, and always made you feel like the center of his universe, seemed to have vanished. In his place was someone distant, preoccupied, and seemingly indifferent to your feelings. You tried to rationalize his behavior, blaming it on the stress of his career and the constant pressure he was under, but deep down, you knew it was more than that. The connection you once shared felt like a distant memory, and the reality of who he had become was impossible to ignore. 

It all started not even a year ago. Mingi's song went viral on the internet, and he gained a massive following in a span of three days. From being an independent artist playing in clubs for maybe a couple of hundred fans, he went straight to signing a contract with a major company, making huge checks and selling out arenas in a span of minutes. The transformation was almost surreal. One day, you were cheering him on from small, dimly lit venues where you could see the sweat on his brow and the fire in his eyes as he performed. The next, he was being whisked away to luxurious studios and high-profile meetings with industry moguls. It felt like you were living in a dream—or a nightmare, depending on the moment. Suddenly, the simplicity of your shared life was replaced by a whirlwind of glitz and glamour. Mingi's phone never stopped buzzing with calls, texts, and notifications. Invitations to exclusive parties, collaborations with big names, and interviews with top media outlets flooded in. While his career skyrocketed, your relationship seemed to plummet into an abyss of neglect and misunderstanding. As he became more entrenched in his new world, you noticed changes in him. The boy who once couldn't wait to spend a quiet night in, watching movies with you was now constantly on the go, his calendar filled with events that didn't include you. The intimate conversations you used to have, were replaced by strained, hurried phone calls and text messages that felt more like obligations than genuine connections. Despite your best efforts to be supportive and understanding, the growing distance between you became an insurmountable chasm. Mingi's success had come at a steep price, and it felt like you were the one paying for it. The man you had known and loved for years was slowly slipping away, replaced by someone who seemed more like a stranger with each passing day. 

The night was getting later, and there was still no sign of Mingi. Maybe he wasn't planning to come back today; maybe he was too busy with his new rapper friends to even care to come back. You couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment and frustration. You glanced at your phone, hoping for a message or a missed call, but there was nothing. Well, it wouldn't be the first time he had left you waiting, feeling like an afterthought in his increasingly busy life. You tried to occupy yourself, turning on the TV and flipping through channels, but nothing could distract you. The boy who once couldn't stand to be away from you was now someone who seemed to have forgotten you existed.  

With every passing minute, the reality of your situation became clearer. Mingi might not come back tonight, tomorrow, or even the day after that. He was out there, living his life, while you were stuck in a place that no longer felt like home. You still vividly remember your first day in this apartment; it was a momentous occasion. Mingi had received his significant check from the tour ticket sales, as well as the royalties, just a week passed since, and you were moving into the luxurious space. The excitement and anticipation were palpable as you both looked forward to starting this new chapter in your lives together. You left your one-bedroom apartment with a tingle of sadness, each corner filled with cherished memories of the life you had built together. However, the excitement and anticipation of creating a new home in a spacious, luxurious penthouse overshadowed any melancholy you felt. You both dreamed of this moment, envisioning a future filled with endless possibilities and new adventures. The thought of decorating the new place, hosting friends, and building new memories brought a sense of joy and hope. It was a new chapter, a fresh start, and despite the nostalgia for your old apartment, the promise of what lay ahead made the transition feel like the beginning of something wonderful. So, you never thought you would be leaving this place like this. Heartbroken. The walls that once echoed with laughter and joy now felt cold and distant. Every corner of the penthouse, which had been a symbol of Mingi’s dreams and aspirations, now seemed to mock your pain. The spacious rooms that once brought a sense of freedom now felt like a labyrinth of sorrow. You recalled the countless evenings spent planning your future together, the whispered promises of forever, and the dreams you had woven into the very fabric of this home. Now, those dreams lay shattered, scattered like fragile pieces of glass. The weight of your decision to leave pressed heavily on your chest, making it difficult to breathe. You never imagined that the place which once brought you so much happiness would be the same place you'd have to walk away from. 

You promised yourself you wouldn't wait longer than 3 AM, and as the hour approached, you picked up all your belongings and took them to the hallway. Each step felt heavier than the last, the weight of your decision sinking in deeper with every passing second. You glanced once again across the apartment, taking in the memories etched into every corner of the space that once felt like a loving home. With a heavy heart, you left your keys on the kitchen counter. As you put your shoes on, you paused for a moment, feeling the finality of your actions. You were ready to turn off the lights and walk out of the door, the silence of the apartment echoing your own sense of abandonment. Just as you reached for the switch, the doors opened with a soft creak that seemed to reverberate through the entire space. 

There stood Mingi, his face pale and eyes wide with a mixture of shock and disbelief, as if he had seen a ghost. His presence, so unexpected and surreal in that moment, made your heart skip a beat. The silence between you was deafening, filled with the weight of unspoken words and unresolved emotions. For a split second, neither of you moved, as if frozen in time. 

"What is going on?" he asked, his eyes finding your gaze as he swallowed hard. 

You took a deep breath, feeling a lump form in your throat. "I can't do this anymore," you replied, your voice trembling. 

His expression shifted from confusion to concern. "What do you mean? What are you talking about?" 

"I mean us, Mingi. I'm not even a part of your life anymore," you said, tears welling up in your eyes. "I packed my bags. I'm leaving." 

Mingi's eyes widened in shock, and he took a step closer. "Leaving? No baby, you can't just leave." 

You shook your head, feeling the weight of the decision pressing down on you. "I deserve more than this. I'm done. We're done," you said, almost out of breath, your voice trembling with a mix of anger and sorrow. 

Mingi's face contorted with emotion, his eyes pleading as he reached out to you. "Please, let's talk about this," he said, desperation lacing his voice. 

You looked at him, your heart breaking all over again. "It's too late, Mingi," you responded, trying to keep your resolve strong even as tears streamed down your face. "I'm so sick of pretending everything's alright, that you haven't changed," you continued, your frustration bubbling to the surface. 

Mingi stepped closer, his hands reaching for yours, desperation evident in his voice. "What are you talking about? I'm still the same, I’m still your boyfriend who would do anything for you." 

You took a deep breath, your voice trembling as you confronted him. "Are you even aware my birthday was a week ago and you haven't showed up to the party?" 

Mingi's face fell, a look of guilt and realization washing over him. "I... I didn't know. I'm so sorry," he stammered, but the damage was already done. 

"So no, Mingi, you are not the same. My boyfriend would show up to my birthday party, hell he would organize it himself. And you know what you did that night? You were sitting in a fucking club with your fellow rappers doing God knows what," you spat, the pain in your words cutting through the air. "My boyfriend loved me, he wanted to spend time with me, he cherished me, he would never leave without kissing me and telling me he loves me," you said, your voice cracking. "You are not him." 

Mingi's shoulders slumped, the weight of his actions finally seeming to hit him. "I messed up. I know I did, and I'm so sorry," he whispered, his voice cracking. 

‘’Sorry is not enough,’ you took a deep breath, your eyes filling with tears. "I'm so sick and tired of justifying your shitty behavior in front of my parents, our friends, and most definitely myself. Every time they ask me where you are or why you're not around, I must come up with excuses. It's exhausting, and honestly, I'm tired of lying for you." 

Mingi's eyes filled with tears, his voice breaking as he whispered, "I never wanted to let you down. I know I've been distant, but I never stopped loving you." 

You shook your head, "You don’t love me, Mingi. Actions speak louder than words, and your actions have clearly shown me where I stand in your life. When was the last time you took me out, huh? When was the last time you asked me how I was doing? When was the last time you made love to me, not just fucked me after your show, huh?" you demanded, each question hitting him like a blow. 

Mingi's face crumpled as he absorbed your words. "I didn't realize... I thought you understood how busy I've been," he mumbled, his voice tinged with regret. 

"Busy? We all have busy lives. But love means making time, no matter what," you said, wiping away your tears. "I can't keep waiting for you to remember that." 

Mingi's tears began to flow freely, his voice barely a whisper. "Please, don't go. I promise I'll change, I'll make things right," he pleaded, but you could see the doubt in his eyes. 

"Since you went viral, you haven't even taken me to your shows, to the afterparties. I don't know your new friends. Do they know about me?" you asked, your voice rising with each word. Mingi's hesitation spoke volumes, and you felt another crack in your already shattered heart. "That's what I thought," you murmured, more to yourself than to him. "If they don't know about me, then maybe you don't want them to. Maybe that's why it's easier for you to forget I exist." 

Mingi's eyes widened, realization dawning on him. "No, it's not like that," he tried to argue, but the conviction in his voice was gone. The silence between you grew heavier, filled with all the things left unsaid over the past months. 

"Tell me honestly, now. You're rapping about fucking bitches and maybe that's really what you're doing in those clubs, huh?" you spat, the accusation hanging heavily in the air. 

Mingi's face paled, his eyes wide with shock and hurt. "How could you even accuse me of that?" he asked, his voice trembling with a mixture of anger and pain. "I would never do something like that to you. You mean everything to me." he stammered, his voice barely above a whisper. He took a step closer, desperation in his eyes. "I swear, it's not what you think. Those lyrics, they're just part of the persona. They don't mean anything." 

You let out a bitter laugh, the sound echoing through the silent apartment. "Is that supposed to make me feel better? That it's all just an act? Because it doesn't. It just makes me feel like I don't even know who you are anymore," you retorted, your voice trembling with emotion. "You spend all your time with these people, living this life that I'm not a part of. How am I supposed to believe you when you say it's not real?" 

Mingi's shoulders slumped, the weight of your words pressing down on him. "I know I've made mistakes. I know I've been distant, but I never wanted to hurt you. I thought you understood how much pressure I'm under," he said, his voice cracking. 

"Being under pressure doesn't give you the right to treat me like I don't matter," you shot back, wiping away the tears from your rosy cheeks. "You used to make me feel like I was the most important person in the world. Now, I feel like I'm just another obligation, something you can push aside when it suits you." 

Mingi's eyes lit up with a sudden realization. "Please give me a moment, I know what will make you stay," he said, his voice filled with a newfound sense of urgency. Before you could respond, he turned and rushed towards the bedroom. You stood there, your heart pounding in your chest as you listened to the sounds of Mingi frantically ruffling through drawers and opening cabinets. The noise grew louder, punctuated by the occasional clatter of objects being moved aside. After what felt like an eternity, Mingi emerged from the bedroom, his face flushed and his breath heavy. Clutched tightly in his hand was a small, elegant box. He walked towards you, his eyes never leaving yours, and with shaking hands, he opened the box to reveal a stunning, custom-made Tiffany engagement ring. 

"This... this is what I was waiting for," he said, his voice trembling with emotion. "I wanted everything to be perfect before I asked you. I know I've messed up, but please, give me one more chance. I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Tears welled up in his eyes as he held the ring out to you, his entire being pleading for forgiveness and another chance. You stared at the ring, the weight of the moment pressing down on you as you tried to process everything. Mingi took a deep breath and then, in one fluid motion, he dropped to one knee, holding the ring up towards you. His eyes were filled with desperation and hope, the tears streaming down his face reflecting the sincerity of his words. "Y/N please, marry me," he whispered, his voice breaking. "I know I've been distant, and I know I've hurt you, but I want to make it right. I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to you, showing you how much you mean to me. Please, give me another chance." You stood there, your heart pounding in your chest as you looked down at Mingi, the man you had loved for so long, now kneeling before you with a ring in his hand. The future you have always dreamed of was right there in front of you, and you cried harder at the sight. The ring, a symbol of the life you had envisioned together, glittered in the dim light of the penthouse. It was everything you had ever wanted, yet the weight of the disappointments and heartbreaks made it difficult to embrace. The tears streamed down your face, mixing with the raw emotions that had been building up inside you. You couldn't help but think of all the broken promises, the lonely nights, and the feeling of being forgotten. The ring was beautiful, but it couldn't erase the pain that had accumulated over time. 

Mingi kneeled there in front of you, his eyes filled with a mixture of hope and desperation, waiting for your response."Now we have enough money to book the beach venue you dreamed of," Mingi started, trying to control his own tears. "I will order you a custom dress from the designer you told me about, inspired by the Disney princess you loved since you were little," he added, his voice trembling with desperation. "And we will go to Belize for our honeymoon," he continued, his words coming out in a rush. "We will rent a whole house by the beach, just like you always wanted. Every morning, we'll wake up to the sound of the waves, and every night, we'll fall asleep under the stars. There won't be a single day when I won't prove to you how much I love you," Mingi's voice cracked, his eyes pleading. "Please, give me another chance. Please marry me. I promise I'll be the man you fell in love with, the one who would move heaven and earth just to see you smile. We’ll make new memories, beautiful ones that will overshadow all the pain I’ve put you through. I swear, I'll spend every moment making it up to you, showing you that my love is real and unwavering. So please, please say yes." The image he painted was truly everything you ever wanted, the plans you made together on countless nights, dreaming of a future filled with love and happiness. The beach venue, the custom dress, the honeymoon in Belize—all of it was exactly what you had envisioned. It was as if he had taken every whispered wish, every secret hope, and turned them into a tangible reality. His words, filled with desperation and promise, tugged at your heartstrings, making you yearn for the life you had once believed was possible. The thought of waking up to the sound of waves, falling asleep under the stars, and creating new, beautiful memories was almost too tempting to resist. In that moment, you saw a glimpse of the life you had always wanted. You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath as you tried to steady your racing heart. The weight of the moment felt almost suffocating, but you knew you had to make a choice. When you opened your eyes again, you looked at Mingi, your voice barely above a whisper, 

"I can't," you choked out, your voice barely above a whisper. The words felt like shards of glass slicing through the air. You saw the hope in Mingi's eyes flicker and fade, replaced by a look of utter devastation. His shoulders slumped as he dropped completely to the floor, the ring slipping from his grasp and falling to the floor with a loud echo. You heard him cry out in agony, and it broke your heart all over again, shattering it completely. For a moment, the silence was deafening, filled only with the sound of your ragged breaths and Mingi's soft sobs. You stood there, frozen, the weight of your decision pressing down on you like a physical force. Every fiber of your being wanted to rush to him, to take back the words and make everything alright, but you knew deep down that it was too late. 

Mingi's tears flowed freely now, his face a portrait of anguish. "Please, don't go," he pleaded, his voice raw with desperation. "I need you. I don't know what I'll do without you." 

"I'm so sorry, Mingi," you said, your voice trembling as you took a step back. "I wish things could be different, but I can't keep living like this." 

Mingi looked up at you, his eyes red and swollen with tears. "Please, don't leave me," he pleaded, his voice cracking with desperation. "I can't lose you. I'll do anything to make it right, I swear." 

You shook your head, "It's not about what you can do, Mingi. It's about what you haven't done." With a heavy heart, you turned towards the door, picking up your bags. Each step felt like a thousand, the weight of your decision making it almost unbearable to move. As you reached the door, you paused, looking back at Mingi one last time. The sight of him, broken and pleading, was almost too much to bear. "Goodbye, Mingi," you whispered, your voice barely audible. "I hope you come across something more than better, something that brings you true happiness and fulfillment. And I’m so sorry it’s not me." With those final words, you turned the knob and stepped out into the hallway, closing the door softly behind you. The echo of the door click reverberated through the empty penthouse, a stark reminder of what you were leaving behind. 

eight months later

It was a Saturday evening, and you were lying in your bed, scrolling through TV channels because apparently your best friend forgot to pay for your Netflix subscription. These past months, you were figuring your life out from the base. With your breakup, everything changed. You were now living in a small apartment, shared with two of your friends to make the rent cheaper. You hadn't saved up much while being with Mingi, mainly taking part-time jobs to be available whenever Mingi needed your help with his career—booking a venue, simply helping around with scanning tickets or delivering merch. You used to spend your days running errands and managing small tasks that kept his career afloat, and in return, he assured you that you didn't need to worry about your own income. Then, when the money came, he simply wouldn’t let you work, claiming what was his was yours, and he had more than enough. His generosity was comforting, but it also left you unprepared for the financial independence you now had to face. So apart from dealing with the heartbreak, you’ve also been struggling a bit with a reality without him. 

Now, as you lay in your small bedroom, you couldn't help but reflect on how drastically your life had shifted. The luxurious apartment you once shared with Mingi was now a distant memory, replaced by this compact space that you now called home. It was filled with laughter and companionship from your two friends, but it also served as a constant reminder of Mingi’s absence. 

The breakup had not only shattered your heart but also forced you to reevaluate your priorities and rebuild your life from scratch. Every day was a struggle to find your footing, to rediscover who you were without Mingi, and to carve out a path for yourself. Despite the challenges, you were slowly learning to embrace this new reality, one step at a time. 

After a long search, you finally stumbled upon a music award show where a band you liked was performing, and you found yourself intrigued. A few other performances passed; the MC announced they would reveal the winner for the Album of the Year in the rap category. Despite trying to ignore all updates about Mingi, you knew he had released a new album earlier this year, so seeing him being nominated didn’t surprise you. You couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions as his name was mentioned. You saw him through your TV screen, his hair now cut short and dyed a vibrant pink, a stark contrast to his previous look. His nose was pierced, and you must admit it made him look even hotter. He was wearing a sleek black blazer with nothing underneath, the simplicity of his outfit highlighting his confidence. He looked absolutely gorgeous, his features as handsome as ever, capturing your attention completely. You couldn’t help but smile, a wave of nostalgia and admiration washing over you. Your heart began to beat faster with the excitement and joy of seeing him again. 

And of course, Mingi won. You didn’t know exactly why, but you couldn’t help yourself—you clapped your hands enthusiastically. You were so incredibly proud of him and his achievement. With a wide smile on his face, he stood up from his seat, took a deep breath, and confidently hopped on stage. He walked over to the microphone, adjusted it to his height, and paused for a moment to gather his thoughts. "Thank you, everyone," Mingi began, his voice steady but filled with emotion. "This album means the world to me, and it wouldn't have been possible without the incredible team behind me and the fans who have supported me through everything." He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. "I want to dedicate this award to someone very special to me, someone who was with me since my early days." Mingi's words hung in the air, and you felt a lump form in your throat. You knew he was talking about you. The memories of your time together, the sacrifices you made, and the dreams you shared all came rushing back. Despite the pain and heartbreak, a part of you was deeply touched by his acknowledgment. He continued, "I know I've made mistakes, and I've hurt the only person I have ever loved. But this album represents a journey of growth and redemption. It's about learning from those mistakes and becoming a better person." The audience applauded, but your mind was elsewhere, lost in the whirlwind of emotions Mingi's speech had stirred within you. You couldn't help but wonder if he truly had changed, if he had finally realized the impact of his actions. As the applause died down, Mingi took a step back, holding the award close to his chest. He looked directly into the camera, his eyes seemingly searching for yours through the screen. "You know," Mingi continues, "this special person told me that since I gained popularity, I’ve been only rapping about fucking bitches, and she hated that." Mingi smiled and looked at the award in his hands. "So, with this album, I came back to my roots, to lyrics that truly mattered and reflect who I am." As the applause echoed around him, Mingi took a deep breath, feeling the weight of his words and the emotions they carried. He remembered the countless nights he spent writing, the struggles he faced, and the moments of doubt. "I don’t know where she’s at now, what she’s doing," he paused, running a hand through his hair, his eyes filled with regret "I wanted to be a man and respect her decision to leave me, so I never reached out." His voice cracked, the weight of his words sinking in "Because the truth is she deserves way better than me." He swallowed hard, his eyes glistening with unshed tears "I don’t even know if this will reach her, but if it does, I just want her to know that I still, very much love her." A tear finally escaped, rolling down his cheek "And that life without her is shit." He took a deep breath, his voice barely a whisper. He glanced around, seeing familiar faces of fellow artists and friends who knew his story then he looked straight at the camera. "So, to my ex, to the one I prayed to end up with, thank you for breaking my heart. This one is for you." He raised his award and bowed. As he left the stage, you couldn't help but feel a surge of mixed emotions. The love you once shared was still there, buried beneath the pain and heartbreak, but his words made you wonder if there might still be a chance for redemption and healing. You sat there, stunned and overwhelmed, tears streaming down your face. The raw emotion in Mingi's speech had reopened old wounds, but it also made you question if there was a possibility for a new beginning. 

Too caught up in your thoughts, you didn't notice when the cameras started to broadcast live from backstage. An elegant reporter, dressed in a chic green dress, stood waiting with a microphone in hand. Her eyes sparkled with anticipation as she spotted Mingi approaching, clutching his award tightly. She greeted him with a warm smile and a nod, gesturing for him to join her on a plush, cream-colored couch set up for the interview. As Mingi took his seat next to her, the reporter's smile widened. "Congratulations, Mingi, on your incredible win tonight!" she began, her voice smooth and professional. "How does it feel to take home the Album of the Year award?" 

Mingi took a deep breath, trying to steady his emotions. "It feels surreal," he admitted, his voice slightly hoarse from the whirlwind of emotions he had experienced on stage. "This album was a labor of love and a journey of self-discovery. Winning this award means the world to me." 

The reporter nodded; her expression empathetic. "You've mentioned that this album, Empty Box, holds a lot of personal significance. Can you tell us more about the inspiration behind it?" 

"The title of the album, Empty Box, symbolizes a metaphorical space where I have placed all the love I couldn’t give, oh god I hate to call her that but, to my ex-girlfriend." Mingi's eyes welled up with tears, and he swallowed hard. "It encompasses not just the love, but also our unfulfilled dreams, the cherished memories we created together, and the mistakes we made along the way." He paused, taking a moment to gather his thoughts, his emotions visibly overwhelming him. This album reflects my journey, regrets, and lessons I've learned. Each song is a chapter of that story, a piece of my heart that I hope resonates with those who listen." He took a deep breath, his voice cracking as he continued, "I wanted to create something that speaks to the pain of losing someone you love, the guilt of not being able to give them what they deserve, and the hope that maybe, just maybe, we can all find a way to heal from our past mistakes." Mingi's eyes were filled with a mix of sorrow and determination as he spoke, his words carrying the weight of his emotions. He looked directly into the camera, his eyes searching for a connection with those who might be watching. "To anyone out there who feels like they've messed up, like they've lost their way, I want you to know that you're not alone. We all make mistakes, we all have regrets, but that doesn't mean we can't find a way to move forward. This album is my way of reaching out, of saying that it's okay to feel broken, it's okay to struggle, but it's also okay to hope for a better tomorrow." 

The reporter nodded, her eyes reflecting the depth of Mingi's words. "Thank you for sharing such a personal journey with us, Mingi. Your honesty and vulnerability are truly inspiring." She paused for a moment, letting his words resonate with the audience. "What's next for you? Are there any upcoming projects or plans you'd like to share?" 

Mingi took a deep breath, a small smile breaking through his tear-streaked face. "Right now, I just want to take some time to reflect and reconnect with myself. But I promise, there's more music to come, and I hope to continue growing both as an artist and as a person." 

The reporter's eyes sparkled with curiosity as she leaned in slightly. "Is this album some type of closure for you? Are you ready to go out there and find love again? I bet there's plenty of girls, or guys who would die to have a chance with you." 

Mingi took a moment to reflect, his eyes distant. "In many ways, this album has been therapeutic for me. It's allowed me to process my emotions and come to terms with my past. As for finding love again, I think it's important for me to focus on healing and personal growth first. Love is a beautiful thing, but it requires a strong foundation." 

The reporter nodded, her smile warm and understanding. "Thank you for your honesty, Mingi. Your journey is truly inspiring, and I'm sure your fans appreciate your openness." 

Mingi smiled back, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. "Thank you. I'm grateful for the support." With that, the interview concluded, and Mingi stood up, shaking the reporter's hand before walking away. As the camera panned out, you turned off the TV, your mind racing with thoughts and emotions. And you knew you needed to see him again. You've been staying strong since you left him, but now, the wall crashed down and you couldn't stop your racing heart, you couldn't prioritize your mind screaming at you not to do it. The memories of your time together flooded back with an overwhelming force, each one more vivid than the last. The late-night conversations, the shared dreams, the laughter, and even the fights—they all played in your mind like an old movie reel. Despite the pain and the heartbreak, you couldn't deny the love you still felt for him, a love that had been buried but never truly extinguished. Your emotions were a tangled mess, a mix of longing, fear, hope, and regret. You thought about the life you once envisioned with him, the future that seemed so bright and full of promise. Would it still be possible? Could you find a way to rebuild what was broken, to heal the wounds that had festered for so long? As you sat there, your heart pounding in your chest, you knew that you couldn't ignore these feelings. It was as if something was pushing you towards him, giving you a nudge to take a step towards reconciliation. The thought of seeing him again both terrified and excited you, but you knew that you had to follow your heart. With trembling hands, you picked up your phone and stared at the screen, your mind racing with a thousand thoughts. Should you call him? Text him? Show up at his door? You took a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves, and made your decision. You were going to see him. 

You run to your closet, your heart racing with anticipation and anxiety. You put on a hoodie as the autumn air was getting colder, layered a denim jacket on top for extra warmth, and decided to go. Living on the opposite side of the city now, getting to Mingi's place would take more than an hour, but you didn't mind the long journey. As you left your room, one of your roommates looked at you, her eyes filled with curiosity. 

"So, I guess you heard the speech?" she asked, a knowing smile playing on her lips. You could feel the pride welling up inside you, making you even more determined to reach Mingi and share your feelings with him. 

"Yeah, I did," you replied, your voice trembling with emotion. "I need to see him." 

"Honey, I know you want to, but don't forget why you left him in the first place," she said gently, her eyes filled with concern. "You were heartbroken and exhausted. It took so much strength for you to walk away and start rebuilding your life." She paused, her expression softening. "I understand that his speech stirred up a lot of emotions, but please, think carefully about this. Remember all the nights you cried yourself to sleep, all the broken promises. Just don't lose sight of why you made the decision to leave. You deserve to be happy and to find someone who truly values and respects you." 

You nodded, taking her words to heart. "I know, and I won't forget. But I need to know if things can be different now. It's just, I am so proud of him, and I just wish he knew that" you whispered to your roommate, your voice filled with a mix of hope and determination. Your roommate, who had been silently listening, came closer, her eyes reflecting concern and empathy. "I know we've been through so much, and the pain was unbearable at times. But seeing him up there, pouring his heart out, made me realize that a part of me still cares deeply for him. I can't ignore these feelings. I spent so many nights crying myself to sleep, feeling hurt and abandoned, but maybe he's changed. Maybe he's truly learned from his mistakes. I need to see for myself if there's a chance for us to rebuild what we once had, to heal together and find a way back to each other." 

Your friend reached out, gently squeezing your hand, her touch offering a silent reassurance. Her eyes softened as she spoke, "I understand why you feel this way. It's not easy to let go of someone you love, especially when there's still a part of you that believes in him. But you need to be sure that he's really changed, that he's willing to put in the effort to make things right this time." 

You nodded, feeling a lump form in your throat. "I just wish he understood that despite everything, I don't hold any grudges. I want him to know that I forgive him and that I'm willing to give him another chance if he's ready to make things right." Your voice trembled slightly, the weight of your emotions making it difficult to speak. 

Your roommate gave you a warm, encouraging smile. "You have a big heart, and it's clear that you still care about him deeply. Just make sure you protect yourself too. If he's really changed, he'll show you through his actions, not just words. Take it one step at a time and trust your instincts. You deserve to be happy, and if giving him another chance feels right to you, then follow your heart." Her words offered a sense of comfort and clarity, helping to ease the turmoil inside you. You took a deep breath, feeling a renewed sense of hope. 

"Thank you," you said, your voice filled with gratitude. "I need to do this for myself, to know if there's still a chance for us." With that, you hugged your best friend and stepped out into the autumn night. 

The journey to Mingi's place felt like an eternity, each passing moment filled with a mixture of anticipation and fear. As the bus drew closer to his building, you couldn't help but feel a surge of doubt. What if this was a mistake? What if you were setting yourself up for more heartache? But the memory of Mingi's heartfelt speech and the love you still felt for him pushed you forward. 

When you finally arrived, you stood outside his door, taking a deep breath to steady your nerves. With a trembling hand, you knocked, the sound echoing through the hallway. To your surprise, the door is opened by an elderly man, dressed in an elegant suit. His eyes widen in surprise as he sees you standing there. "Good evening, sir," you say hesitantly, trying to mask your confusion. "I’m sorry for the late visit but I'm here to see Mingi. Is he already back?" The man's expression shifts from surprise to bewilderment. 

"I'm sorry," he replies, his voice carrying a hint of confusion. "But I believe you have the wrong address. Nobody by the name of Mingi lives here." He looks at you sympathetically, as if trying to help you figure out your mistake. 

Your heart sank, and you felt a wave of confusion wash over you. "But this was his address," you murmured, feeling lost. 

The elderly man gave you a kind smile, "I moved in here few months ago, maybe he was a previous owner of this apartment?" 

Your heart sank even further as you realized that Mingi had moved. "Thank you," you said softly, turning away from the door, feeling a mix of disappointment and confusion. As you walked back to the bus stop, the doubt began to creep in again. Maybe meeting with him would be a mistake? The universe seemed to be throwing obstacles in your path, as if trying to tell you something. Perhaps it was a sign that some things are better left in the past, that moving forward meant leaving certain chapters closed. You couldn't help but think about all the reasons you left in the first place, the pain and the heartbreak that led you to this very moment. Was it worth reopening old wounds for a chance that things might be different? As you boarded the bus, you decided to give it one last shot, you took your phone out. You scrolled through your contacts and found Mingi's number, your finger hovering over the call button. Taking a deep breath, you pressed it and held the phone to your ear, your heart pounding as it began to ring. After a few moments, you heard a familiar message on the other end, "The number you have dialed no longer exists." 

The automated message echoed in your ear, a stark reminder of the distance that now separated you from Mingi. You pulled the phone away, staring at the screen in disbelief. How could it be? You had been so certain that reaching out to him was the right thing to do, but now, it felt like the universe was conspiring against you. You tried calling again, but the same message played, confirming that Mingi's number had indeed been disconnected. A sense of finality washed over you, making the reality of the situation sink in even deeper. It felt as if a door had been firmly closed, leaving you standing on the outside, unable to reach the person you once held so dear. As you sat back on the bus, the city lights blurring past the window, you couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions. Disappointment, sadness, and a lingering sense of what could have been. The memories of your time together replayed in your mind, each one a bittersweet reminder of the love you had lost. Deep down, you knew that this might be the universe's way of telling you to let go, to move forward with your life. With a heavy heart, you put your phone away and leaned back in your seat, taking a deep breath. As the bus continued its route, you gazed out at the city, the lights flickering like distant stars.  

six months later

You just started your shift; the day was going to be long and tiring. With holidays fast approaching, people were buzzing to buy new goods. You were working as a manager in one of the luxury shopping centers, a position that demanded a great deal of patience and resilience. The opulence of the surroundings was a stark contrast to the stress that came with the job. The elegant displays and high-end brands attracted a clientele that was demanding and often indifferent to the staff's efforts. Managing a team in such an environment was no small feat. You had to ensure that everything ran smoothly, from inventory management to customer service. The rich customers, with their endless requests and high expectations, often tested the limits of your endurance. They seemed to suck the life out of you, leaving you drained by the end of the day. Yet, you couldn't afford to show any signs of fatigue. Your role required you to maintain a calm and composed demeanor, addressing complaints with a smile and ensuring that every shopper left satisfied. The holiday season only amplified the challenges. The influx of customers meant longer hours and heightened pressure. Each day felt like a marathon, with waves of shoppers flooding in, eager to make their purchases. The store was a hive of activity, with sales associates rushing to assist customers, restock shelves, and manage transactions. Amidst the chaos, you had to keep a watchful eye, ready to step in whenever issues arose. 

You were on your way to the staff area to take a break for lunch, feeling exhausted from the busy morning shift. The holiday rush had turned the shopping center into a whirlwind of activity, and you were grateful for a brief break. Just as you were about to reach the staff area, one of your co-workers called out your name. You rolled your eyes, already anticipating another request or issue that needed your immediate attention. With a deep breath, you turned to face her, trying to mask your frustration with a polite smile. 

"I'm really sorry to bother you, but we have a situation that requires your expertise. There's a particularly demanding customer, and the supervisor has tried everything but just can't seem to handle it. She asked me to find you because we really need your help with this. Would you mind stepping in to assist? I know you're on your way to lunch, but it would mean a lot to us." 

You sighed internally, knowing that this was part of the job. "Alright, lead the way," you replied, forcing a reassuring smile. Following your co-worker, you mentally prepared yourself for yet another challenging interaction, hoping that it wouldn't take too long so you could finally enjoy your much-needed break. 

She led you to one of the private dressing rooms. From a distance, you could hear a female voice demanding something from her, you supposed, boyfriend. "Oh baby, what do you think about this one?" you heard as you approached the door. Your heart skipped a beat when you recognized the voice that responded—it was Mingi. You stopped in your tracks, your mind racing. The reality of seeing him again, and with someone new, hit you like a ton of bricks. But you took a deep breath, steadied yourself, and pushed forward, opening the door to the dressing room. Inside, you saw Mingi standing next to a woman who was examining herself in the mirror, holding up an elegant dress. The room was filled with an awkward tension as Mingi's eyes met yours. For a moment, time seemed to stand still, the memories of your past flooding back with a vivid intensity. 

Mingi's expression shifted from surprise to a mix of emotions—confusion, regret, and perhaps a hint of longing. The woman, oblivious to the charged atmosphere, continued to admire herself in the mirror, adjusting the dress and waiting for Mingi's opinion. 

You felt like the air was taken out of your lungs. He was here, standing before you, after so much time had passed. Memories of your time together flooded back, each one more vivid and overwhelming than the last. You had to swallow hard and clench your fist to keep the act up, to maintain your composure in front of him and his new girlfriend. The mix of emotions inside you—shock, longing, regret—threatened to break through, but you knew you had to stay professional. This was your job, your life now, and you couldn't let the past disrupt it. "Excuse me madam, I’m a manager here," you said, your voice steady despite the turmoil inside. "Is there anything I can assist you with?" 

"Oh yes, we've been looking forward to buying the limited-edition shoes from the new collection," she said, her eyes lighting up with excitement. 

You took a deep breath at her words, trying to maintain your professionalism. "I'm really sorry to inform you about this, as my coworker already told you, madam, the shoes I believe you are referring to are only available for special order." 

Her enthusiasm faltered slightly, replaced by a look of disappointment. "Special order? Is there any way we can place one now?" 

"Unfortunately, the special-order period for those shoes has already ended," you explained gently. "They were available for a limited time, and we are currently out of stock. However, we do have a selection of other exclusive items that might interest you." 

You caught Mingi's eyes boring into you, his face pale and expression frozen. He stood still, as if rooted to the spot, and he seemed to not even breathe. The intensity of his gaze sent a wave of emotions crashing over you, each one more overwhelming than the last. You felt your eyes watering, a rush of emotions threatening to spill over. You blinked quickly, trying to get rid of the tears and maintain your composure. This was neither the time nor the place to let your feelings show, but the sight of him, so close yet so distant, made it nearly impossible to hold back the tide of emotions. 

The girl in front of you sighed, clearly disheartened by the news. Mingi, sensing her disappointment, placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "It's all right," he said softly. "Let's take a look at what else they have. I'm sure you can find something you'll love." 

She turned to you with a sharp expression, her tone shifting to one of impatience. "Do you even know who my boyfriend is?’’ 

You swallowed hard, forcing a polite smile despite the tension. "Yes, madam, I'm well aware. Please allow me to show you some other exclusive items that might catch your interest."  

"Baby, won't you do something about it?" She once again turned to Mingi, her voice carrying a hint of frustration, but his eyes never left yours, the unspoken words hanging heavily in the air between you. 

Mingi shifted uncomfortably, his eyes meeting his girlfriend for a brief moment before he turned to you again. "I'll see what I can do," he said softly, trying to soothe her. 

You took a deep breath, gathering your professionalism. "As I mentioned earlier, the special-order period has ended, and we are out of stock for the limited-edition shoes. However, if you'd like, I can take your contact information and notify you if any new limited editions become available in the future." 

The woman sighed, clearly not satisfied, but nodded reluctantly. "Fine, let's do that then." She handed you her information, and you quickly jotted it down, aware of Mingi's gaze still lingering on you. 

"Thank you for your understanding," you said, handing back her details. "Is there anything else I can assist you with today?" 

She shook her head, her disappointment evident. "No, that's all. Come on, baby, let's go." As they turned to leave, Mingi hesitated for a moment, his eyes locking with yours one last time. You could see the unspoken words and the regret in his gaze, you silently hoped he would say something, anything. You gave him a small, professional nod, and without a word, he turned away, following his girlfriend out of the dressing room. Once they were gone, you let out a breath you hadn't realized you were holding. 

You realized that the man you loved was no more. Instead, you met with someone who wore his face, who had his voice. Someone who was a stranger. The warmth that once radiated from his eyes was now replaced by an unfamiliar coldness. It was as if time had reshaped him into a different person, one that you could no longer recognize. The memories of your past seemed like a cruel illusion, a reminder of what once was and what could never be again. You realized with a heavy heart that the essence of the man you fell in love with had faded, leaving behind a mere shadow of who he used to be. 

Don't talk to strangers, they say, or you might fall in love. And when that love fades, those familiar faces turn into strangers once more. The irony of it all stung deeply. The very person who once knew you inside and out had become an enigma, a puzzle with pieces that no longer fit. As you watched him walk away, hand in hand with someone new, you couldn't help but feel a profound sense of loss. The man you once knew, the man you once loved, was gone. And in his place stood a stranger who bore his likeness but none of the familiarity. 

The journey of love had taken you full circle, bringing you back to a place of solitude and reflection. The lessons learned were etched deeply into your soul, a testament to the transient nature of relationships. You couldn't help but wonder if you would ever recognize that familiar face again, or if he would forever remain a stranger, a fleeting memory in the tapestry of your life. 

[thealexchen]

thoughts on LIS: Double Exposure?

This is probably gonna be my hottest take in awhile, but: I deeply dislike the idea of an official LiS1 direct sequel game existing. Excluding all my thoughts on the gameplay, story, Max's character, etc. I don't think a game like Double Exposure is necessary.

This isn't a new take either; back in 2020 I made a Reddit post saying I was glad we never got a continuation of Max and Chloe's story, because in order to have a plot, you have to have conflict. And to have conflict means your characters are forced to change or struggle in some way, and I simply wasn't interested in seeing that again. I never even read the comics. As long as Max and Chloe's future existed only in the fanbase's collective imagination and not in an officially licensed game, Pricefield could be as happy as I wanted and I wouldn't have to witness DN or D9's version of canon.

A lot of fans, including myself, are also confused and upset as to where Chloe could be in Double Exposure. Even if Chloe winds up having a surprise role, it would likely be too logistically difficult to write Chloe into one version of the story and not the other. Either way, DE is strongly pointing to Chloe no longer being the deuteragonist. If D9 was going to make a direct sequel with Max and Chloe, I could at least be intrigued by how they might write their dynamic and how they'd use Max's power in new and interesting ways. But instead there's... none of that. Chloe's nowhere to be seen and Max can't time travel anymore.

On a narrative level, Max and Chloe are the heart of the original Life is Strange. They represent the game's central relationship, and their very first interaction (Max saving Chloe's life) kicks off the entire story. Throughout the story, their dynamic advances the plot and mutually motivates their character arcs. You can't have LiS1 without either Max or Chloe; the story simply wouldn't exist without them. Now in DE, they don't even seem to be in each other's lives anymore. It's true, this series is meant to reflect universal feelings and experiences, which could include breakups, but the romantic catharsis of Pricefield as canon soulmates who defied time and space itself to stay together forever is something you can only get from the beauty of fiction. To jab DE's story with a dose of reality and go, "Eh, they grew apart. Shit happens," totally undermines everything the Bae ending stood for.

On a technical level, Max's rewind was an objectively brilliant game mechanic. LiS1 arrived onto the scene after Telltale had paved the way for the resurgence of choice-based, episodic games, but LiS1 totally reinvented the wheel by giving the player the option to go back and weigh each option before continuing, essentially save-scumming in-game. But the right choice was never that easy to determine, and Rewind brilliantly complemented Max's character arc of overcoming her indecision and learning to live with her choices. Not to mention, you could also use Rewind to solve puzzles, instead of the endless fetch quests the later games had. No other LiS game since then has given the player that kind of agency and interactivity. LiS2 had telekinesis, but the player couldn't use it, only Daniel. D9 tried with Backtalk and Empathy, but Max's Rewind was truly the narrative and gameplay jackpot that they haven't been able to recreate since.

So if you take away one half of the central relationship that made the first game so memorable, and the supernatural power/game mechanic that made it so fun to play... why even bring Max back at all? It just feels like D9 threw away their golden opportunity to build upon the major selling points of the first game and are only relying on name recognition of the Life is Strange "brand" and Max Caulfield.

What upsets me most of all about a direct sequel existing is that it proves that Life is Strange, as a series, now stands more for profits than originality. Life is Strange will always be an IP meant to make money for Square, I know that, but back when LiS1 was just a brand new episodic game, it stood out for how different it dared to be. In a landscape saturated with shooters, sexualized female characters, and casual misogyny, LiS1 instead featured a teenage girl in a contemporary setting that took her seriously and made her the hero of her story. Before it was a franchise, LiS wasn't concerned with the bottom dollar; it was a piece of art that just wanted to tell a thoughtful, unique story.

Whether you love it or hate it, Life is Strange 2 was an insanely risky follow-up to Life is Strange that refused to rely on the convenience of a direct sequel because Dontnod stuck to their artistic vision. Meanwhile, all of Deck Nine's games have leaned on the first game's following to generate interest (BtS being a direct prequel, TC bringing back Steph, and Wavelengths expanding on Steph's connection to Chloe, Rachel, and Arcadia Bay). In other words, all of the subsequent LiS games by D9 have played it very, very safe. It's worked like a damn charm because there are still elements I love about each game, but the basic principle is nostalgia-baiting fans. It's just that now, Double Exposure isn't hiding that nostalgia bait at all anymore and prioritizing profits over telling a unique story. It's sad to see that LiS has strayed so far from its risky, daring, original, and unique artistic beginnings.

Before I end, I'll say that I can't be too cynical about it all, nor do I want to be. Because I can't deny how much joy this whole series has brought me, too. LiS was what got me into narrative adventure games and pushed the boundaries of what a video game could be. If nothing else, I am truly thrilled that Hannah Telle got the chance to play Max again. D9's always been great at maintaining relationships with their actors, and the casts of their games always have consistently great chemistry. Getting recognized by Erika Mori on my own blog is still unbelievable and speaks to the amazing community that LiS has built. As you can see, I'm still posting and reblogging stuff about Double Exposure. And while I don't see myself buying or playing this game for myself, I know it'll keep all of us talking for awhile, and I still live for a good discussion.

Thank you for asking! And thank you for reading.

[tatatale]

Hello.

Please know that you're amazing.

The Undertale community is living a tough time right now, and I feel like the creators keeping it alive and standing don't get enough support.

You are part of that. Your art is amazing. I am not a commited fan of your work as in I haven't been here long and don't interact much, but I know plenty of people who are and that's literally all I need.

People love you and there will always be people thankful to you.

Have an awesome day <3

Thank you anon you're so sweet!! T ω T )♥♥♥

It hasn't been easy for many creators lately, especially due to the group of people who spend all their time harassing creators and trying to harm them as much as possible to protect… non-existent fictional characters.

There are creators who can just block and report these people and simply continue with their lives, but others feel more affected by this and that it's normal, because we are human beings, we do exist.

It's very sad to see creators end up with their health affected, and have to leave from the fandom in order to heal the pain that the toxic people have inflicted on them.

It doesn't matter if you have 10 or 1 million followers. It doesn't matter if you have millions of people supporting you, the fact of getting bad words, lies, threats, and general bullshit day after day, is something that ends up affecting any human being mentally.

We all love fictional characters. But they don't exist, real people are what matters.

So please, I just ask you all to take care of real people.

Thank you for understanding this ´◡`)

[spicymotte]

How fandom culture killed my creativity

hi. I have some thoughts about my time in a huge fandom and how it changed me:

First of all, I would like to say that these are my personal experiences in a large anime fandom. I have made very good friends with whom I am still in contact today - and I was exposed to a kind of brain rot that has changed the way I deal with art forever. However, this does not apply to every fandom/every person.

this - essay? - is way longer than I thought it would be. More under the cut:

In 2020, after a long break, I was able to get excited about One Piece again. Until then, I had always considered art important to me and I had never been able to do it professionally. (maybe someday...!)

The One Piece fandom is huge. There are now over 1000 manga chapters and anime episodes, which is gigantic; and the fandom itself is just as huge: millions of fans love this manga/anime and exchange ideas about it on the internet. I was previously very limited to tumblr, but then I ventured into OPtwt, the One Piece community on Twitter. There is a lot of fan art, fan fiction and small cliques that like the same character. There is something for everyone. It was great! I had a hyperfixation phase on OP before, in 2017. Now it came back - so violently that I realized very quickly that I could hardly think of anything else but One Piece.

Hyperfixations involve two major factors: an intense obsession with a character (or theme/media/whatever), which often brings with it a bottomless well of inspiration and motivation for artists – and a strange influence on brain chemistry. Neurodivergent people are prone to difficulties with the release of happiness and rewarding hormones anyway, and even though I am in no way qualified to make grand statements, as a person living with AuDHD, hyperfixations are both a blessing and a curse.

Often, the neurodivergent niches in the fandom communities are very lively. On extremely interactive social media like Twitter, TikTok and Instagram, you are flooded with posts of fan art, discussions and also escalation. It quickly becomes stressful for the brain to keep up with it - especially if you manage to accumulate a large number of followers. (also a blessing and a curse!)

I started posting fanart and OC x canon in 2020. I spent most of the last three years on Twitter and I have to say that it set me back in some ways. At first, I was slow to get to know people through fanart, but then I got to know people very quickly: fellow artists that I am still good friends with today and, unfortunately, people who have also succumbed to an incredible, destructive brainrot. I had chosen a character (or rather, my brain did) who plays almost no role in One Piece. All the better, so I pretty much had him to myself and I could do whatever I wanted. The OC x canon community is generally very friendly and respectful, so I found quite a few people who liked what I drew. Cool!

And then it started. With fanart and a small fan club for my OCs, I got more followers and more likes. More retweets and comments, more notifications. The algorithm started to like me and the growth increased steadily. My fandom (OP) account grew, as did my reach.

I checked Twitter more and more. Every free second I took my smartphone in my hand and checked my notifications. I reloaded the page until I had a new notification. I repeated this on Instagram and tumblr. Sometimes I catch myself doing it today, even though I haven't been active in this fandom for over a year!

Likes were good, retweets better. Every notification of an interaction with my art was a push on the feel-good button in my brain. It's very addictive, even if I talked myself out of it at first. The pandemic was at its peak and the internet was the only way to meet friends anyway. All this shit was fast food for my brain.

Then I started drawing fanarts, even though I didn't feel like it. But the likes had to come from somewhere, didn't they? I drew favorites from manga, characters that I didn't even like that much myself. But they were popular, so that promised likes and reach! Every single day, really every day, I drew fanarts. I was disappointed with myself if I didn't.

As of today, my two One Piece art folders have 80GB of data in it! what the fuck!! That's not normal!

I learned a lot during that time and was able to develop my art. I was able to participate in projects, to draw for several zines and also had a lot of fun – but I treated it like a job. Making fan art your job is very difficult – and has a lot of consequences. If you run a merch shop (as I did for a short time), you always have to follow the hype and draw what's in style. You switch fandoms because the hype has just burned out and the next new thing is already in style. If you're one of the first to offer keychains and stickers - or plushies - you make the big money. That brings profit, but in my opinion you can very quickly step on the wrong foot in this jumping around and slip into burnout. (Or stagnate to such an extent that you lose all motivation to refine your artistic skills and become better at your craft.)

I see friends of mine, many of them, who are trying to live off of fandom merch. They all have one thing in common: their skills in art have remained absolutely the same over the past few years or have even declined. If you have to churn out a new batch of merchandise every week, you have to cut corners. There is no time for experiments and crazy studies when you can hardly live and have to produce merch/fan art that sells 100% well.

I don't mean to offend anyone - it's just that I've been thinking a lot about my own setbacks as an artist since I've been dealing with them so intimately. And I've definitely made some setbacks!

In 2021-2023, fandom life continued and got worse and worse. Checking my smartphone, drawing something every day to post it - just so that the algorithm doesn't sort me out. Posting daily is the number one rule on all Social Media, unfortunately. But I did it, no matter how burned out I felt.

And then there were the dramas on Twitter: internet puritans, antis and proshippers were screaming at each other and tearing each other to shreds (a trap I almost fell into myself! anti and pro are the biggest bullshit ever and I'm lucky enough to have reached a point where I can say: I don't give a shit lol). Callout posts, vague tweeting and aggression instead of simply blocking and moving on. Harassment that I myself experienced: I blocked a few people because I found them strange and unpleasant. They posted explicit things that I did not want to see on my timeline. This triggered a wave of harassment that was simply disgusting. These are people who hate their own lives so much that they can't do anything but feel miserable and stalk strangers online. Admittedly, this made me paranoid: a group of people had chosen me as a target. They passed around screenshots of many of my tweets and made fun of me, copying and stealing my art 1:1. They lied and cheated to make me look like an asshole – and this went on for years. It made me paranoid and was the first step away from fandoms, as it escalated more and more.

So, I was successfully bullied out of the fandom and my hyperfixation was over. It left a terrible void that I am still trying to fill today. Neurodivergence sucks, I'll tell you.

That's when I honestly asked myself for the first time: What the fuck am I doing here? When did I become a content machine for strangers on the internet? Why the hell do I feel so bad when I don't draw for a day? And why do I care what strangers think about me?!

Then I realized that I can't draw anymore.

Without references or the 3D models from Clip Studio Paint, I'm lost. When I try to draw something without any help, I sit in front of an empty canvas. My hands don't do what they're supposed to do and my brain blocks the thought of how drawing even works. My eyes only see the mistakes I make. Everything I draw looks bad to me.

I realized I have a problem.

So I try again and learn it all again from scratch: Anatomy, perspective, color theory, everything. But every time I sit down and try to put something on paper, there's nothing there. I've been drawing things every day for the last four years. Now my hyperfixation on this character and this manga is over and there's nothing left. I've been burning the candle at both ends and I've broken something in the process. Art is no longer something I enjoy. I need art to live and breathe, no doubt, but… the barrel now has a bottom again and it's empty to the last drop.

The little motivation I can muster goes into my webcomic, which is my everything. It's just mine, not a fandom. I feel honored that so many people read this comic. At the same time, I'm afraid that it's not enough; in my eyes, my art doesn't look good. Being surrounded by perfect illustrations on social media all day long distorts one's own perception of art, like the beauty industry that gives you body dysmorphia. On top of that, I haven't had any financial success with my comics in recent years, none at all. The dream of being an independent comic artist has receded so far into the distance that I can no longer see it. Bummer.

The constant stream of content that I gave during my fandom days has set me back incredibly. I can no longer enjoy the process of art, but my brain constantly pushes me to finish it, to have a finished product - because then I can post the drawing and get the virtual handshake that my weird brain likes so much.

Social media detox, of course, is the first thing that comes to mind. It's actually bullshit that we're all so addicted to these apps, but here we are. It's uncomfortable for me to admit, but I have hardly any friends in real life. I'm very introverted and many people find my autism very unpleasant (I can't blame them, I often come across as rude), so I only have 1-2 friends. I would like to have more friends, but maintaining social contact is terribly exhausting. It's hard enough to reply to my mutuals in the DMs (sorryyyyy if I forget sometimes………).

And what if I just take a break for a while and don't draw so much? Recharge my batteries? Right now I'm taking a 6-week break, partly because my jaw surgery is coming up soon. I'll be sick anyway, so why not put the webcomic on hiatus and take a break for a while? I don't know if it will work out, but I have a hunch that it won't, because I always have the fast-paced internet in the back of my mind. How can I be a freelancer if I don't do fanart? How can I make money with it to help my partner, who is currently financing our lives, financially? How can I, as a disabled person, find a job that I can do and at the same time build my career as an artist? As an independent comic artist, I have to do the job of so many people (artist, author, manager, taxes, work organization), how am I supposed to do that?

I have no answers to these questions. Original works don't go nearly as well as fanart! So you have to work ten times as hard and play by the vague rules of the algorithms, which is exhausting enough. Nowadays, you can only be lucky and ride the viral wave if it falls into your lap.

But reflecting on my time in a huge fandom has made me realize that I was going down a very wrong path and am now experiencing the consequences. I'm completely burnt out and no longer know why I'm even making art anymore. I don't know if I want to make art much longer. (I think shit-life-syndrome plays a big role here, but not exclusively.)

As I said, I don't have any answers - but I would at least like to warn those who are having difficulties with distancing themselves from the internet and are quickly losing themselves in this maelstrom of social media.

I have since deleted Twitter from my smartphone and, fortunately, have hardly ever used TikTok (dodged a bullet there!). I try to get back into traditional art and get away from my computer. I am all the more grateful to the people, my community, so to speak, who do nonsense with me on tumblr. They read my comics and are extremely nice to me, which I really appreciate. Thank you!

I don't know yet if and how it will continue, but I would like to finish Berserkir in the next few years. I'd love to find a way to finish all the short comics I want to make, even though it's just me and not a whole team. Maybe I'll find a way, maybe I don't. Anyways, thanks for sticking around!

[sunnywalnut]

As someone who *was* a Helluva Boss fan for a really long time because of the obvious love and care that was put into the show by the animators and voice actors.... I really can't overlook the kind of things that Vivian has done.

And honestly?

Knowing that all of the money from views, likes, media, merch and so on goes into her pocket (and NONE of the people that actually put in the work to CREATE the show) just horrifies me to no end.

I know that all of us have heard about her tyrades on Twitter, or her tearing apart critics and cursing them out, or just her all around messy and rude attitude towards everyone and anyone who pokes even a LITTLE fun at her(like that one video of "The Amazing Digital Circus If It Was Written By Vivziepop). I know that we've all heard about it. And a lot of us have already made up our minds about her. Good or bad.

But the fact of the matter is that a lot of us don't have the full story. And for me, it was because a lot of it was either conspiracy, treated as a one off thing, or just an assholeish thing that happened years ago. And her fans defending her poor behavior and claiming she's apologized for it or that it's "okay" because she's been through trauma haven't really helped.

Plus. I'm a firm believer that you shouldn't have to put that much extensive research into figuring out if the person you are supporting(through watching videos, buying merch, etc etc) is a good person or not.

Which is why I want to share with you all a link to a post I found on Twitter. A compiled list of evidence of things that Vivziepop has said or done without additional commentary(besides simply just labeling what the screenshots consist of) so everyone can make their own decisions on what they want to believe or not.

I for one am not the kind of guy to care about what kind of things you do with fictional characters(or at least. What you write with them. All of us are capable of writing shitty stories and posting them online) and honestly? I don't care about what personal things you have going on in your life.

A lot of people do.

And that's not wrong, of course. Some people believe that it is a way to see what kind of person you are based off of how you treat your fictional characters or the ways that you interact with sexuality. Which has some truth to it. To some extent.

However. It holds a problem when that is the ONLY evidence you find against a person.

Making a shitty joke 3 years ago doesn't condemn you to hell. Or at least. It shouldn't.

Making a sexualized character? I mean. Who doesn't?

But running a hierarchy where you are running your friends mental health into the ground for the sake of a show you aren't even animating for anymore? Now that is something that I would like to educate myself on.

And this thread does just that.

I definitely recommend you read. Or at least bookmark for later. Because it has a LOT of new information that people might not know yet.

[notablogtwiy]

Angela And Spencer

Hello, everyone. I'm new here, not just to Smosh, but a little bit to Tumblr as well. And I'm jumping right into the deep end, I guess.

Okay, the thing is I absolutely love the Angela and Spencer dynamic. As a friendship and an amazing duo. It's just important to remember that they are not fictional, they're real people, so I don't let shit get weird. Is the idea of them together appealing? Sure, it is. I just believe it's okay as long as no one is being weird, creepy, or obsessive about it, then having casual fun with it is cool. Just be respectful. That's one of the reasons why I was hesitant to make this post because it might come across as something more than what it is. Which is just me enjoying my favorite duo, having fun, and sharing that with others.

Okay, now that's out of the way…

Spangela. As I've mentioned, I love them very much and I feel like not a lot of people talk about them. Now, more and more people are seeing the light, though. I still feel like they're closer than any of us realize. I only found two awesome compilations of them on YouTube, which was very surprising to me as a new fan of Smosh, I thought for sure there would be more. The compilations are created by @fvckwluv and they are an amazing editor, go check them out if you haven't already.

And because I get very anxious and I don't know many creators here and I don't want anyone to feel weird about my request. I'm making this post with some of my favorite moments, hoping that someone will kindly volunteer and make a compilation and add just a few of these moments to it. @fvckwluv I'm looking at you. Kidding, kidding. No pressure, lol. But I'd still appreciate it if one or two of them happen to make it in your next video because your editing is awesome and you can make all the moments work together well.

Okay, now, I can't do all my favorite moments in one post because that will be even longer than this one. I know. But yes, this post can be even longer. So, I'm only gonna start with sweet and very subtle moments that I feel show they're close friends and know each other well, as well as moments where Spencer is just being sweet to Angela. And if this works out and someone makes a video, then I'll post my other favorite moments. I mean, they roast each other constantly and they quite literally attack each other in Don't Win Mario videos all the time, so that should be its own thing.

So, I'm not including popular stuff of theirs. For now, I'm simply focusing on the underrated, subtle, and sweet friendship moments. Mostly. I will also be adding time stamps as much as I can, so it would be easier for anyone who wants to check them out or if anyone just wants to make a video.

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(The Chosen Moose Master Multiverse):

I mean, that whole video is just incredible. Their interactions are fucking gold. But other than the obvious moments, I like the subtle ones. When they start joking about Spy Kids. At 10:28, Spencer says to her, "And you love traitors." I'm starting with this moment, so you can understand what I mean when I say subtle moments. Because this one shows that he knows her and I like that.

When Angela does her second finishing move. At 20:38, I love how Spencer goes, "Oh, my god, I just got chills."

At 20:38, when she mentions that they forgot a rule during their turn with the I don't want to get a boner joke. I love the way he's smiling at her, saying. "We can take it back." And she smiles, too. "It's okay, I just wanted to get it in there."

Also, the last like 6 minutes of the video where he's so impressed laughing and clapping while she annihilates everyone.

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(Do you pick your nose in public):

They were both hesitant and unsure about smelling good to others. At 19:54, when Angela starts talking, I just like the way he's looking at her, so that's nothing. Just a me thing.

And at 20:26, you can see them in the background nodding at each other reassuringly.

At 25:55, he jokingly asks Angela "So you're telling me if I come to you with a pimple…" I know Chanse answers him, too, but he was very clearly looking at Angela when he was talking, he also laughed at her chatGPT answer.

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Okay, look, I just love seeing how they progressed in their relationship over time. In earlier videos, you can so clearly tell that they're still trying to feel each other out a little bit, it's so sweet.

Two times there was a tie, and Spencer had to be the tiebreaker, and both times, he picked her. Again, it's nothing, but I like these videos. The worst dates ever? Video. Spencer joins at 30:43. And the Our Craziest Business Ideas so Far video, Spencer joins at 35:55, Spencer liked her idea there, as he should, it was great. And it was also really funny when they all leaned in to smell him because he smelled so good, apparently.

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(Don't Win Mario Kart):

This video was amazing, just because Angela won that shit, but also because Spencer was so hyped whenever she won, and at 8:57, he was like, "Oh my fucking god." And, 20:35, he goes, "Angela won again!" In like, an excited voice.

And when Chanse was teasing her and telling her that her hair smelled bad when she was dancing and celebrating, for whatever reason, Spencer says at like, 20:11 "Show us how you washed your hair." Which is just…a great thing to say for me to think about. Thanks, Spencer.

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(Is He Cheating? Reddit Stories):

I mean, the whole video is a favorite moment on its own. But of course, the 13:27 Nerfs are in the gun joke, the look he gives her after is one to dissect, for sure. The first time I watched it, I was like, "What's wrong with him? Why is he looking at her like that? The joke wasn't that bad." And then I thought, maybe it was an inside joke or something because his reaction was so…weird, but also really hot? But the slight smirk was just…yeah, it was something. I was confused, mainly. I love them.

And the exchange goes on for a while, too. After Shayne asks for clarification Angela explains, and Spencer turns back to her and says softly, "That's crazy." And then they both just exhale a little laugh while covering their faces. Yeah, I think about this a lot. But I also feel like it was just a moment with no explanation behind it.

At 14:07, When Shayne announces an update and Angela leans in excitedly with her mouth open, Spencer sees her in the monitor or screen thing. He sees her and smiles and then leans in with her, too, with an agape mouth. I liked that moment. Especially that small smile and chuckle he lets out when he sees her reaction before doing the same thing himself.

At 52:33, when Angela starts humming jokingly at the Reddit story and he joins, I love how long it goes on. She just keeps doing it while he's silently laughing.

At 53:42, when Spencer makes the uggo joke, and Angela laughs and explains it to Shayne, I think you can see him looking at the monitor again, smiling while she speaks. And of course, when they lean in together at the end of the video showing off their matching hats. Like, we get it, you're insanely cute.

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(Overcooked):

The glasses saga starts at 2:02. And from there, it's all hilarious and cute at the same time. But, an underrated part, is at 18:33, after Angela says "They're in my car." the first time. You can hear Spencer ask, "Do you want me to go get them?" And you can see Angela shake her head no. But it's very faint, though, you have to wear your headphones to hear him.

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Okay, now, live streams. Live streams are where they truly thrive and shine.

(Sharing YOUR SWORD AF fan art live):

Just one very small moment here and it's still a good one. People kept sending how sexy Angela is in the chat and how she is the sexiest woman alive, and I mean, they're so valid for that. Anyway, Amanda kept bringing it up to Angela because she wasn't wearing her glasses and couldn't read the comments. And then Spencer was like, "I told them to shut up." It was just so funny and so cute. The whole sexiest woman alive thing starts at 1:24, but the Spencer comment is said after the 2:32 minute mark conversation between Amangela.

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(Don't win Mario Party Charity live stream):

At 11:54, he helps with her controller.

At 15:53, he references the papa thing she did in the cards against humanity video, and then he does it throughout the stream, as they all do, consistently. But he does it a lot.

Side note: Spencer also clearly mentioned once that he was cracking up when Angela was doing that, but I can't remember which video he said it and it's driving me crazy. If anyone can remember, let me know.

At 30:08, Spencer got confused about winning/not winning and Angela kinda chuckled and touched and patted his arm and he turned to her smiling. Again, a small moment, but I live for those.

Like at 30:20, when Angela starts singing the words don't win loudly and Spencer just looks at her and smiles, and Angela just lightly smacks his arm. Yeah, these are my moments. Sigh.

At 33:24, after she tries to sabotage him and Shayne, Spencer's like, "You're not even playing. what if I fully put down the controller and choked you out?" And just joking about not realizing that she wasn't playing.

Another choking comment to Angela by Spencer.

(The other one was in the latest Don't Win Mario Party video when they finally got day at the races. Angela says that she almost googled Day at the Races that morning to see what it looks like. And Spencer just straight up goes, "I would've choked you out." Which is so unhinged. And I love him so much for it. Truly. Thanks, Spencer.)

Back to the stream, at 34:18, Angela almost spoils a video about who wins in it and Spencer goes"Shhhhh. They're not even gonna watch it now", and she's like, "They don't watch for the winners." And he replies, laughing, "I know."

But the cutest part is Angela still very softly whispers and apologizes to him about almost spoiling it at 34:37, and it's just so sweet and melted my heart, Angela is adorable. You have to use a headphone to be able to hear her, though.

(Her apologizing to him happened two more times, I believe. That latest don't win video, when they were both Mario and Luigi and on the same team. When they lost, she said, "I'm sorry, Spencer." And on Reddit Stories, she says I'm sorry after he teases her about the fact that she doesn't give him enough time to get to a joke.)

At 34:47, Angela screams about mini-games incorrectly and he, of course, laughs, and then at 34:56, he asks her if she's singing Taylor Swift and teases her and says, "Dude, you were down bad last night" and then I can't hear what he said after that, something Taylor Swift? Most likely, singing. And then Angela of course says, "Shut up." It was a nothing moment, but again, I live for those.

Since she gave her controller to Courtney, Spencer turns to her at 37:59 and asks, "Hey, do you wanna use my controllers?" Angela got confused about what he was asking and then joked that she was already playing and Tommy joined in, the whole thing was cute, okay? Don't judge me, lol.

45:48, Spencer suggests that they, "de-italian Angela and get her fixed." And they all joke about that for a while. But what I love is that When Angela agrees to actually do it at 47:11 because she's awesome, Spencer says "Okay, thank you." because he knows that what he suggested was a bit insane, and he should be grateful that she's just as unhinged as he is.

At 50:33, Spencer jokes about the cone again, "You know how it is with Angela, man, she keeps getting into the trash." I'm including this joke because Angela laughed so damn hard at it. I love her ability to laugh at herself so much. Nothing but respect for her, honestly.

At 52:25, Spencer makes a weird sex joke, and Angela's like, "Spencer…" And then he goes, "Look, okay, it's a work in progress."

(This could also be paralleled in the latest don't win Mario party video. When Spencer says, "I hope I don't come in my pants." Everyone laughs, and Angela says, "Don't laugh at that." You can see Spencer close his eyes briefly, shaking his head and smiling.)

1:01:56. Somebody in the chat suggests they fix Spencer for a certain amount of money. And Angela's like, "That's not gonna be enough." And he continues her joke, "We're gonna need a bigger boat."

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(Boozy Painting Anthony For His Funeral live stream):

At 35:23, Angela excitedly asks him to paint something on her cast, and his response is equally as excited, open mouth and everything. I love that he tries to give her the same energy she gives other people. As he said on who meme'd it, it's the best part of Angela and you can tell he appreciates it so much and he tries to give her the same reactions to the things she says. I've noticed it a few times now. (For example, it happened in the Lego stream as well when she was talking about submitting options for her school mascot, he was giving her an Angela-type reaction to a very tame and normal story.)

At 39:38, after he messes up her cast, I just love that he wanted to try again and was like, "Let me draw something else." And then proceeded to lean over and just paint for quite some time on her cast until Alex had to be like, "Spencer get your elbow out of Angela's painting."

Also, I like the fact that Angela was the only one who knew Spencer was planning a Chanse and Angela show special because they'd already talked about it with each other before telling anyone else. Well, I assume Alex knew as well. It starts at 1:10:10.

17:06 - 17:23. After Angela posts coffee memes on Courtney's Instagram. Spencer says, "I gotta see these." And then you can hear him and Alex laughing, and then Spencer says, "These are awesome."

48:11, Spencer says, "The way Angela says day at the races is really funny." This bit might be more on the teasing side because he does say she sounds like Bobby Hill or Peter Griffin, but still lighthearted teasing.

59:16: This. This. This moment. This damn second. I have no idea what's going on here, but the way he just came up to her and touched her arm and both smiled and stuff was cute as all hell.

1:32:09, Spencer got so excited when Angela agreed to show her drafts. And then after Shayne reads her Call Me by Your Name draft at 2:12:12, Spencer says after they're all done laughing. "I would've retweeted that shit." It's extra sweet because she's been saying all stream that her co-workers never retweet her.

Also, I love how invested Spencer was in painting her face. Not only did he go over to her to take a picture of her on his phone, but at 1:19:36, he said, "Like, I need to see some red in there." And then Courtney is like, "Stop giving notes, Spencer."

Now this is speculation and not confirmed, but also I feel like it's obvious enough. Angela mentioned that she wanted her drawing of John Pork to be on set or something like that, and now it's on the Smosh Games set next to Spencer's one-ball picture. I can only assume that the director of programming is the one who approved to put it there, so yes, that is now a part of their lore in my mind. It's incredibly sweet and I just love seeing her drawing in the background in videos so much.

Now onto the best moment of the stream, at 1:25:00, Spencer sweetly asks her, "Do you need me to hold your jacket?" Like, I'm sure there are places she could put it away safely, but no, he asked if he could hold it for her. It was just so…I love him.

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(Smosh Does Arts and Crafts live stream):

At 43:57, Angela lights up when she sees him and says "Hey!" so excitedly. And then at 4:42, when she asks him the questions they asked Alex, he answers with "you." At the fancy party question. Though, he did answer with a bit of hesitation, lol. But that could mean anything, you know. The thing is his voice was kind of shy, yet a bit deep when he said it. This is just a Spencer thing, I love his voice.

At 1:08:50, Angela messed up the RumPum name and everyone was correcting her loudly, she was like, "I'm kidding, I got your ass." Spencer then chuckles and says, "You're gonna start doing that any time you get something wrong. Oh, I got you."

And then when Spencer told her at 1:21:46 to "Tell him–tell Shayne about your plan." I'm weird, I know, but again, I like the subtle moments that show that they talk to each other and are actually friends.

(Again, this could be paralleled in the latest Don't Win Mario Party. When Spencer says he wants to do an all-day marathon, Angela goes, "I pitched a meal train like churches do." While Spencer nods. Again, it seemed like she was the only one aware he wanted to do this and he already discussed it with her, along with Alex, probably. I also like that he clearly includes her in the creatives and stuff, and cares about her input.)

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(The Ultimate Staring Contest Live Stream):

When Angela was stone-faced and not laughing, and Spencer was like, at 16:25 "I think you brought that energy to TNTL one time." Like, wow, he remembers that! I don't know why that is so, so, so sweet to me. It was an old TNTL, too. The only hard mode TNTL Angela was in, I think.

And then at 16:37, talking about her dark place, he was like, "So, wait, what, what are you thinking about?" He was just really invested and maybe, just a tiny bit worried, I think. This whole stream felt like he was trying to be so attentive.

At 34:19, Angela talks about how she was on Spencer's computer and he had to go to a meeting, and then she, Shayne, and Amanda pranked him with a fart video. But it was her idea, I believe, and she was the one who gave it to him during the meeting. Amanda mentioned that people were clapping when she left the room. At 34:58. I just love knowing these things about them.

At 1:11:10, when they didn't agree on Angela's pitch, Angela was like, "I'm just pitching, that's all." Spencer went, "No, no, it was…." you can tell he felt bad that he said no. Even Alex felt a little bad and was like, "No, no, you can stand."

1:06:48, when Angela says she feels like she's been getting too much into a dark place, and Spencer goes, "Yeah, I'm legit w–yeah." I believe he was going to say worried. And it's so sweet and also kind of proves that it's not just me, he was being extra sweet that stream. Like, when he defended her against Chanse's joke about her being cross-eyed at 1:13:39. "I've never seen that Angela, don't believe him."

At 1:11:36, Angela pitches another idea again. And Spencer says "Yeah, mirror staring, that would be fun." But then, at 1:11:43 she says, "Everyone hates my ideas." And Spencer goes, "I just suggested your idea." Again, it's nothing, but I think he could tell she was a bit deflated and it was sweet that he was trying to make her feel better.

And finally, at, 1:17:16, he asks, "Was going to your dark place worth this food…meal you're about to have?" The entire stream, it just felt like he didn't like the fact that she went there. But maybe that's just me.

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(The Beopardy Charity Stream):

It's just another parallel of Spencer backing Angela up when she says some wild shit like she did in the family vlogging video. At 39:12, When Angela says they can play two truths and a lie with piss in the guns if they reach 20k, he sweetly pats her on the back, and then when everyone was laughing and Shayne was like, "Fuck. We can never allow Angela to pitch anything ever again." Spencer says, "dude, for 20k…" And Angela goes, "Thank you, Spencer."

Also, when Keith announced that she won the whole thing, Spencer looked so happy and excited as he clapped for her.

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(Reading Reddit Stories From Our Crew Live Stream):

At 50:15 Shayne starts reading a story, and in the story, it mentions the person is only a freelancer at Smosh. And Spencer jokingly says, "Okay, Angela." It wasn't her story, though. But I thought that was funny and cute, the way she just popped into his mind, I guess.

My absolute favorite part is at 1:10:07 when Shayne asks about what they're most excited to see at Anthony's funeral. Spencer says he's most excited about Angela reading the chats as the vessel. Because that was his favorite part during Lisa's funeral. And then he went on applauding Angela on not only reading and figuring out the chats but adding her original takes as well since she's still kind of new to Smosh. The way he talks about her with so much admiration and respect. My heart.

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(The Lego Competition Live Stream):

This Stream is a Spangela stream and you can't convince me otherwise. I mean, they all kind of are, but this one…

At 14:08, they joke about building a hot and beautiful woman, and Angela just reaches over to touch him. I simply really love that moment.

And when he brings up that they were discussing their favorite Angelaisms the other night, he looks at her before he actually speaks. It's subtle, but he does, and why do I like that? I don't know, but I do.

53:54, when they were talking about a possible fake belly button ring for the chosen, I love how Angela starts joking in a British accent and Spencer smiles at her sweetly and joins in, laughing. Felt like an inside joke and I just love that.

26:30, Angela asks, "Do you wanna see mine? John pork. " Spencer goes, "You're getting there. Never give up."

At 40:42, when Spencer reads a comment about Angela and Chanse or Angela and Shayne playing fatal frame 4, Angela jokes, "Please, I've been begging, I've been begging." And then starts coughing heavily, he goes, "Do you wanna water?" The bare minimum, I know. Still, it's sweet, okay? He's like, the only one who's asked.

25:30 he says that his favorite shit was when she teased Amanda about saying something to her about the necklace during the criminal minds episode. I also like the fact that he brought that up when Chanse said something about Angela not slaying every day. And Angela was like, "You guys are just gonna sit there and let him do that to me?" I feel like Spencer's thought process was like: okay, let me bring up this moment where you were funny and how it was my favorite thing.

At 43:31, the sudoku thing. I love that he wasn't laughing with everyone else when Angela was kind of being self-deprecating about the sniper chess video and learning how to play chess. And he tried to make it better, you know, didn't fully succeed, but he did say she was great in the video and was a star. And even though he brought up that she whiffed the last two videos, he was talking about them in a positive light and that he loved them. "The werewolf ending and the criminal minds ending were the funniest shit to me."

I very much love the way he tried to imitate her. "Whoever playing the unsub better wake up." It was so cute and funny. And then when Chanse asks you said that? or something like that. Spencer replies, laughing," Something Angela fucking says." Again, in such an endeared tone of voice.

At 46:02 when Angela shows Shayne her garden, Shayne goes "Actually, I resp–I actually like that. " I love that Spencer kind of calls him out on being patronizing towards Angela a little bit and mocks Shayne and goes "Oh, you know what? I'm surprised." But the funniest part was that Spencer used the word "actually" with her when she first showed them the garden. "Oh, that's actually kinda cute." Said the hypocrite, lol.

55:20, the X-Men question. This moment is unreal. Don't even get me started on the fact that he stares at her for like, 20 seconds while smiling and shaking his head. My favorite part is not once does he open his mouth to call her out on her lying, he's just so endeared by her bit and just stays quiet to let it continue. And that look again at 57:55. He's just so…amused? Perplexed and amused? It's a similar smirk to the one he gives her after the Nerfs are in the gun joke. And yes, indeed, he does know Angela. He knows that she's blowing smoke and shit up her butt. Oh, how far they've come.

Okay, I'm done. For now. I had to cut and edit some moments out of this post, so…

I feel like most of these would be great to edit because there are a LOT of parallels. For example:

"Do you need me to hold your jacket?"

"Do you wanna use my controllers?

"Do you wanna a water?

"Do you want me to go get them (her glasses)?"

Just Spencer making sure Angela's got everything she might need. You get the idea.

I would also just love to discuss these moments, were you aware of most of them or is it just me? What are your favorite moments?

[0rczy]

ORCZY'S FAN FICTION RECOMMENDATIONS

For following Fandoms: Varian and the 7 kingdoms, Lego monkie kid, JRWI riptide

Hi there! I tought I would share some of my favourite fanfictions I've read since April last year, as sort of a recap and also recommendations. These are all longer stories btw, ranging from 78K to  236K words. Hope you find something that piques your interest :D

If you have any other recommendations, PLEASE share them, I'd love to read more from these fandoms.

VAT7K

-Varian's Tangled Trials by IFoundYouJustineTime and TheArtistsMuse A complete Vat7k story adapting the original creators' plot points into an amazing, 24 chapters (episodes) long fic that reads like an actual cartoon. If you're new to Vat7k or Tangled The Series, or even if you haven't seen the latter (like me), you WILL enjoy this. If you like a fun adventure with a bunch of nerds as a found family, this is for you.

-What Summer Meant to You -If I Really Hated you (and I really, really do) both by Battybatzgirl First one's a battle of the bands/modern AU, second is an AU where the boys are rival engineers, both focusing on the ship Varigo. The writing style is what made me stay and read these to the end. Incredibly funny and entertaining to read, the way Varian and Hugo are characterised is just. So good. If you like a well written, lighthearted, romantic comedy, this is for you. (Both include some skippable adult scenes, but the story is much more about the romance)

-Making End's Meet by Meltthepoint As the author's name suggest, this is a melting point (Donella x Ulla) story, set in a modern setting. Donella enrolls Hugo into this new school, who then befriends Varian. Ulla and Donella meet again. This is about how two women make up and start anew after their lives went into directions they didn't want. The story is much more character focused, a really fun read. Very insightful about the women's characters. An exception, as I still haven't finished reading it. Definitely not the type of fic I can binge read, but I'm really enjoying it.

At the end of everything by Squirrelflight A Night in the woods AU (haven't played the game, you don't have to, to read it), and unfinished as of yet, but man. Worth checking out! Unlike the stories above, this one's definitely darker and has a really tense aura. Love it. The writing is so good it makes me so thrilled about what will happen next! I also really like, once again, the characterisation.

LMK

-You can stay here by KALL A pre canon story about how Pigsy and Tang adopt MK, how MK gets to be in a safe environment and starts figuring himself out. Great writing style, entertaining plot, what more could I ask for? (maybe an update lol) As of yet, unfinished, and hasn't been updated since late 2022. The author actually posted ( https://www.tumblr.com/its-kall-the-clown/735524530668371968/are-you-going-to-be-updating-any-fics-on-your-ao3 ) about wanting to rewrite the story sometime. Which is great! In case you're reading this, take as long as you want!

-A garden across our collarbone by PittedPeaches Spicynoodle soulmate AU where what you write, or in MK's case, draw on your skin, appears on the soulmate's skin as well. Red Son's journey of (very slowly, this is a slowburn) falling in love with MK. A lot of inner monologues, the story plays out more like a retelling of what happened from Red Son's perspective. Kind of like a diary entry and I LOVE IT. I actually didn't understand the pairing before reading this, nor was I that invested in Red Son's character. This fic changed everything. (it also sends you good luck if you read it on the train! I acquired: friends!)

RIPTIDE

-BREAKING FREE! by earlgray_milktea A fish 'n chips Highschool Musical AU (another thing I haven't seen, you don't need to, to read this). The writing is so undoubtedly Disney, it is at times so over the top dramatic, you can't help but smile at half the interactions. The charm is big on this one. The characters are exagerated but somehow not (completely) out of character. Basically if Riptide was on Disney, this is exactly how they'd act. Also it's just really, really cute.

-Depths of Natarus by goldpines Chip Mermaid AU set in an Undersa/Oversea war, focusing on Fish n Chips as well as Jay Ferin (my girl!). Two reasons why you should read this right now. First: the descriptions are SO detailed and immersive! It made me also kinda have a crush on Gillion Tidestrider. How. Second: it made me care about Jay. And the way she's written here is just so so great. You can tell the author knows what they're doing, the feels just keep coming, I alost teared up multiple times. This story makes you feel a lot of emotions at once, an overall amazing reading experience.

And these were my favs since last April. Specifically the ones that made me go absolutely insane. In a good way. Again, if you have any good recommendations (preferably longer stories, but shorter ones are also fine), please feel free to share them.

Thank you for reading this, if you did :D

[dynamic-k]

I don't actually know why I'm doing this, but oh well.

This is for Super Sticks. I love your fan fiction by the way, ITS AWESOME!!! :D

This idea kind of came to me in the middle of the night, and I'm not sure why but like:

Vic is an alchemy genius right? And he made something that could help with Hazard's gene problem thingy.

Agent Smith had a leg problem. Despite not having powers, he had proven himself to be an invaluable stick in his time at rocket.

I was thinking, it would be really interesting to see the mercenaries (although not really in super sticks) together. Like, how would they interact with each other? How would they function as a team?

I'm getting off topic xd

Ballista is currently a hero, so it would make sense for the team to be on the hero side, right? I think Primal and Hazard could do it, but Agent can't, due to his left leg being uhh... yeah.

I know it said in Arc 2, that Agent would still have a bad leg: 'Agent being a total badass even with one bad leg', but what if Vic made something to help Agent??? Maybe with Blue as well, if it was another potion...

Having the team helping with hero-ing might help Chosen, Dark, and Second, with all the new villains and such.

idk. i kind of made like an entire au of super sticks, where one small positive thing lead to a whole villain arc XD. The stuff above is just something that happened to pop up in my brain when i was supposed to do homework-

Yeah, I'm just going to stop now.

-R

[*muffled happy crying into pillow noises*]

AHHWBQJAHKRQAV THANK YOU!!

Vic is indeed an alchemy genius, and he did make immunity supplements. Hazard's usage of his powers always hurt him because his S.P.I. (self-power-immunity) cells were mutated and didn't work properly, so the S.P.I supplements that Vic designed for Hazard were to replace the failing cells. Multiple supplements will have to be taken to keep up the stockpile of good cells.

I have been meaning to include some mercenaries' bonding moments somewhere in Arc Two, or perhaps as a Bonus Feature! I just... Haven't yet figured out where in the timeline I want stuff to be placed yet-

It's so cool you've come up with your own little spinoff AU! I am very intrigued, hehehe

:D Agent is a hero at heart, bad leg neverminded. And I do have a very specific badass Agent scene broiling around in my brain since before Arc One was even completed- XD

In all technicality, Agent's leg is full healed... Except uhh

See, there's nerve damage. Agent's leg was rotated around completely backward and while the emergency surgery corrected it quickly afterward, there's a lasting numbness and mild pain flareups to be suffered from there on out. It may eventually go away after several years, but for now, it stays.

Plot wise, I never planned for Vic to miraculously come up with some solution or fix-it for Agent's leg, even though he is very smart in problem curing areas and alchemy. (This may change, I dunno. My brain is a little bouncy on unfirmed ideas-)

Vic straight-up invented those supplements, came up with a whole serum that mimicked those cell properties, to stand in as a viable substitute. And it took him a very long time to perfect it. It would probably take an equally long time, or even longer, if Vic were to attempt making something for Agent. And uhhh, he can't exactly experiment hands-on in the comfy confines of his current jail cell, can he-

Ballista and Hazard have already canonically been doing hero work in Arc Two's time, and our three Ladybug hollowheads are aware of it, though they haven't yet met Hazard in person. Agent reopened the Rocket Hero program that Vic had abandoned in Arc One, so yeah.

Primal will eventually hop onto the program, I'll say that much, but for nowwww.... The situation is complicated. And I have some plans to help complete her redemption arc. Arc One left things a little ambiguous and incomplete on purpose, hehe

"idk. i kind of made like an entire au of super sticks, where one small positive thing lead to a whole villain arc XD." Color me intrigued! :D I love spinoff AUs~

No wait- Don't stop- I was enjoying the ramble- /silly

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

Not a request, but a question! I really want to post some TMNT writings again. However I noticed that 18+ (gore, smut other dark themes) seem to be a matter of heavy debate. Such as you can't age up character or if you're now an adult you cant interact/write/draw for the fandom anymore. I left years ago because of how bad it got. Do you get a lot of hate for your writings? Or has it died down after all these years?

No, I get no hate. I've only gotten two mean-ish comments, and none of them had anything to do with my 18+ writing.

Dark themes, and to a certain degree, gore, has always been part of the TMNT universe. Leo's PTSD pattern in the tv shows, Raph's homelessness in the IDW, Donnie gradually becoming more and more robot in both comic and tv, and of course Mikey in The Last Ronin. And then there is the ROTTMNT movie. That was some dark stuff, and if you think about it, there was body horror as well.

Sex is not new to the TMNT comics either. Donnie is the only turtle that haven't lost his virginity in cannon. We have to remember that the turtles have been in relationships and have had crushes ever since the Mirage days, so sex doesn't seem that far off.

I'll say it's all about being comfortable with what people are reading. That's why I put warnings and try to put it into a genre. There are people that just don't feel comfortable with these themes, and that's perfectly fine. At the same time, some people find that by interacting and inserting themselves or other people into the story, it ruines it, and that too I understand. To me it's almost an art form to write fan fics and inserts that does not mess to much with the story and plot, yet at times it's fun to play around with "what ifs".

With all that being said, I too do have things I don't feel comfortable writing about, with non-con being a BIG no for me. At the same time I don't mind writing about age gaps, as long as the youngest person partaking is at least 18. But with fictional characters that we know age over time, I don't see a problem with pushing their age so it matches the theme of the story. That's also why I often by my smut a few year after the main events took place (unless people want me to write about a specific scene, in which I still push their age up to an acceptable place that I too would feel comfortable with).

Maybe TMNT fans are adults today, so it would be strange not to let adult have a go and make fan content, even if it's 18+:)

[cielettosa]

you levi stans always believing that levi is still the most popular aot character. bro was surpassed by season 4 eren and now levi is just completely irrelevant. levi isn’t even iconic any longer. the anime just made him a cold badass and took everything that made him special in the manga away. everyone just thinks he is fan service and is annoyed when he appears in anything now (official arts, bad boy). aot may fade away but the one people will remember is eren and it shows. he is the one with constant interactions, likes, and google searches. honestly pretty sure mikasa tops levi in popularity by now too. levi has fallen from his high perch and turned into an irrelevant worthless loser to the masses. it’s honestly what you levi stans deserve for hating on eren all those years before the time skip.

anyways proof below along with the anime corner poll at the end of the year. https://x.com/justmeight/status/1791195643815637415?s=46&t=opIHY9xYZlEjLmRQ4bbogA

Hey angry warrior,

This is a popularity poll from japan

Listen, hiding behind anonymity like a cockroach under a fridge doesn't exactly make your opinion on Levi sound profound. Maybe if you crawled out from under your rock and signed your name, your critique might hold some weight.

Here you are, complaining about a character you supposedly think is irrelevant, yet you're obsessed enough to write a hate-mail manifesto.

If you think Levi's just a "cold badass" stereotype, then you clearly haven't been paying attention. Maybe actually delve into some character analysis before you try to school others.

scarletskiesinthepaths and cosmicjoke has some good analysis. And I have written some too, and I am linking them too.

people whines about "fan service" with "Bad Boy" yet spout nonsense about Levi's popularity fading. Pick a lane, genius!

Levi fan art annoying people? Honey, the only thing getting annoyed is probably the internet struggling to render all the glorious Levi content.

Levi is Eren's mentor. Let that sink in. The guy you claim is "irrelevant" literally shaped the protagonist you idolize. And guess what? Mentors often fade into thebackground as their students grow. It doesn't diminish their importance, it's simply the natural order of things.

You are overlooking the fact that Levi is the character who is frequently written about in fanfictions within the Attack on Titan fandom.

Levi may have lost some shine in your eyes, but to claim Mikasa dethroned him? Now that's some Grade A delusion. News flash: Popularity contests aren't won by saltyinternet rants.

Popularity contests change faster than your bedsheets, but characters like Levi endure. Most people don't spend their days fuming about fictional characters. Maybe take a shower, touch some grass, and realize the world doesn't revolve around your internet vendettas.broaden your horizons. Look beyond internet hype and explore what truly makes a character compelling. Maybe then you'll understand why Levi remains a fan favorite, his legacy secure long after the fleeting popularity of season 4 fades like a bad spray tan. Until then, keep your uninformed opinions to yourself, and perhaps consider a rewatch of AoT with a more discerning eye.

You clutch that "Levi-is-washed-up" theory like a participation trophy, but the evidence is about as reliable as a toddler's drawing of a spaceship. Let's dissect this "proof" of yours, shall we? Someone tweeted a college of characters they think are iconic? Wow, groundbreaking. Next, you'll be citing crayon scribbles on a bathroom stall as gospel.

You have the right to dislike Levi, but whining about popularity polls is the height of internet fandom tears.

Real criticism goes beyond "your husbando didn't win!"

So ditch the temper tantrum and try constructing an actual argument. Levi might not be your cup of tea, but resorting to popularity contests is just pure embarrassing

Broaden your horizons. Look beyond the surface hype and delve into what makes a character truly captivating. Until you have that epiphany, keep your ill-informed opinions to yourself, and maybe give Attack on Titan another go, this time with an actual brain in tow.

Analysis by me:

Levi Ackerman: Why he is Humanity's Strongest Soldier

Levi and Kenny

How Levi utilizes his intellect in fighting and decision making and his leadership in final battle

Levi Ackerman (an overall analysis? My first one so it's not good)

Entire discourse:

Gojo is better than Levi:

https://www.tumblr.com/cinyemina/743823703078518784/gojo-vs-levi-whs-better-i-think-gojo?source=share

Gojo is better than Levi because he is more popular:

https://www.tumblr.com/cinyemina/744103319358865408/well-gojo-beat-levi-in-the-anime-corner-popularity?source=share

People lacks individuality and follows hype:

https://www.tumblr.com/cinyemina/748344782599913472/its-sad-that-people-are-so-insecure-that-they?source=share (no discourse here)

Levi is not a well written character because he is "not popular":

https://www.tumblr.com/cinyemina/748700520518172672/popularity-does-matter-and-helps-measure-a?source=share

[felixravinstills]

guess what character i’m going to make u answer abt- that’s right! 💞persephone price💕

Ask Game

Thanks, Lily! I definitely couldn't have expected this!

My first impression Cannibal 👀 Oh? Tell me more! (And then they told me barely anything else.)

My impression now That's Lily's girl! She's sweet! I'm genuinely so surprised that more people don't talk about her? She feels like she should be a fan favorite? Sorry, I am not being the change I want to see in the world (talking about Persephone more), but I am being held hostage by the Ravinstills. She's on the long list of people I want to make a gifset for...

Favorite thing about that character I love that she hasn't let the bad things in her life (the Dark Days and potentially even noticing a bit of Coriolanus' disdain) get her down (seemingly, again, a lot of assumption we have to do with these minor characters... it's the blessing and the curse of loving them!)

Least favorite thing Uh, we don't get that much of her which is sad, especially since all we get is from the POV of someone who really is trying not to be around her or think of her that deeply. It makes me sad!

Favorite line/scene

“People love a good love song, more like,” said Persephone, showing her dimples. (Ch. 12) <- i just remember thinking that this was cute, and also... foreshadowing for the OG trilogy?

The mention of her and Festus spending more time together was also cute! Idk if it's technically a scene and more of montage/fleeting mention?

Favorite interaction that character has with another

A character that I wish that character would interact with more I wish we saw more interactions with her and Mizzen. That would have gone a long way in giving us more canon insight into her character!

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character

Deep cut from a piece of fiction that I haven't read in like a decade but Ada Vessalius from Pandora Hearts. (I remember not exactly enjoying all aspects with the execution of Ada's character in that manga but she has certain similarities with Persephone in my mind). Ada's a kind woman who grows in confidence into macabre and dark things but hides that facet of herself from others. (just including a pic because it does hint at her vibe, and also I know one will know who I'm talking about)

A headcanon about that character

Lily, I'm genuinely trying to think of a Persephone headcanon that you haven't heard from me or potentially seen in one of my fics for your benefit... I am unforunately blanking so I shall pull from an Author's Note from an OC fic.

In worlds where she and Festus get married (which is like my most canon compliant world states), they go by the Price-Creeds because their kids stand to inherit from both the Prices and Creeds. Inheritance being very big in the Capitol. The Price name goes first because I think the Prices being railroad tycoons beats out the Creeds influence on the lumber industry.

Also and idk if this is just your blog color scheme getting to me Lily, but I associate her with red, magenta, and also jewel tones.

A song that reminds of that character

Ribs by the Crane Wives. I love it being about independence and kind of accepting parts of yourself that you don't really like, also...

" The dark doesn't frighten me / I chose to close my eyes / It is mine, it is mine / The night doesn't frighten me / I chose to let it thrive / It is mine, it is mine"

Speaks to maybe a certain myopia/blindness to certain things based on the closing your eyes that kind of rings true for my version of Persephone.

An unpopular opinion about that character

Not really an unpopular opinion, just different from some interpretations and the same as others. My interpretation of Persephone didn't really interact with Festus much pre-10th HG. Like they interacted obviously in the sense that they grew up together like with the other mentors, but they aren't like in the same close friend circles. (I do love close, childhood friends Festus and Persephone though!)

Favorite picture

She's judging me... I love that for me. (coloring modified by me. i went in to screenshot this pic, because i remember it vividly... also she's wearing a watch! wonder if it's the same one she wears later. hard to tell from this angle)

[cheerfulimp]

Dramione fanfics, but it's about Theo 😊

First of all I was out for a while, not posting doodles, re-blogging artsy stuff, doing so called reviews of things i was reading or watching etc.. Anyway...First time when I read a fanfic was around 10 years ago (not counting mini stories or smth, but actual fanfic) , I read a modern fantasy and i was left unsatisfied with the development of side characters, they were left uncertain , somehow abounded etc.. Right now the author promised a solo book or two about them, but it's not about it. After that I dropped fanfics for a long while, for me fanart of certain ships were enough to make me smile and feel happy. Now recently, after being in isolation for a loooong while, a came across old but gold, sassy yet classy, traditional, well beloved by many DRAMIONE fanfics. I've never read those, but seeing so many Manacled arts and hype over it ( thank you TikTok for that and many more i guess) i decided to give it a shot. Needless to say i read loooot's of fanfics already, aaand i've noticed this tiny tiny big detail that i just LOVE. THEODORE NOTT let me start from him ! I personally ( at the moment as i haven't read any other universe fanfics yet) think, he is one of the greatest characters adopted by fanfic authors. There is no much info about that character is the original books, and that makes him perfect candidate for side or main character. I still am researching on who/how it's all started, cause feels like everyone took some inspiration originally that later become a fan " canon" , aka fanon character trait for almost ALL the NOTTs and I think it's beautiful 😭 There are other characters like Blaise Zabini, Pansy Parkinson, Greengrass sisters, etc that also share some similar characteristics throughout most fanfics that i've read. I love the fact that authors decided to explore and add smth more to the characters like Lavender, Hannah , Nevile, Luna etc and make their interactions richer, deep, interesting, more fun. One of the things that i liked a lot is that fanon Ginny is THE GIRL we deserved to see in the movies, at least people do justice like that 😂 Overall it feels like Theo really became one of the most beloved characters on the platform, not gonna lie I like him too! I will continue my journey exploring Wizarding World through fan-fiction and see what else i can observer there. At this point i just read Dramione only for Theo 😂 Soon i'll jump on reading smth about him particularly, shipped with Luna probably. But damn after so manny accidental fanfics where he is also part of the story, it feels unnatural to read smth where there is no him at all.

[uninformedartist]

I don't know if you have ever talked about this situation yet but I wanted to know your thoughts about this because it's gotten worse and I've seen fans still try and compare both Lackadaisy and Helluva..now, let me just say that I do agree that the Lackadaisy Team should discuss this situation and see what's going on, especially when it's a member of the team and they should be held accountable. But it's VERY hypocritical for the HB/HH attacks the Lackadaisy fandom and say they're not gonna support it because of ONE bad apple and say it's a toxic fanbase, but they'll continue to support Viv and the Spindlehorse team even though they have been called out, especially Viv, for acting unprofessional and whining and complaining and just acting like man children whenever HB gets criticism (even when it's out of love and respect and wanting to see it improve) and there's also so much proof of Viv being a horrible person, and yet fans continue to brush it off and see it as nothing and attack the ones who were hurt and mistreated behind the scenes and the fans just see Viv as this "Perfect Angel Who Could Do No Wrong 😇" but when it comes to others, especially with this Lackadaisy Vs HB drama that's been going on, some fans have admitted they just not support it. It's just hypocritical to me especially since as I said, Viv has been called out for being horrible and yet fans continue to kiss her feet and harass and bully anybody who dares to criticize and call her out and have even went as far as Doxxing just because not everyone likes their little demon show. I honestly feel like the fans don't actually care if anyone's been mistreated and hurt by Viv, as long as they get their demon show that's all that matters to them..they don't care or give shit about people being abused and it's just so damn sad, especially when a lot of these fans are grown adults who should know better and be the better people. :(

I haven't talked about this situation specifically but mentioned it other posts briefly. Zebirdbrain was found to be Transphobic from the tweets they liked/ inteacted with.

Its good they were called and the lackadaisy team should address this issue it is very serious. Its also true what you say very true it is hypothetical that the helluva fanbase is so heavy on calling out Birdbrain but ignore Viv's discord conversations and Ken's call out post with a passion all that show blatant Transphobia, missgendering and ace-phobia.

Evidence:

Excerpts from Ken's call out post:

The fans Don't care and Don't want to care. They remain in this blissful ignorant mindset and have this self righteous attitude towards anyone that speaks out against Viv. They just want their demon show even if its at the cost of others. They also don't care about the problematic spindlehorse staff members but care so much about the lackadaisy problematic staff. Again good for calling birdbrain out just don't be a hypocrite and pick and choose who you call out, if they problematic they problematic call that shit out. Im referring to Raphielle and nicolebsicrete on the spindlehorse staff. Raphielle has a drawn numerous r*pe artworks of Angel dust, Vox and Val and has a r*pe ship between the.

And nicolebsicrete likes problematic fictional ships and stories they are an active rick and morty shipper (this is their old bio description, if you look now it has changed but still stands)

And Viv interactions A LOT with them so there is no way Viv doesn't know they're problematic, Raphielle is very explicit on his shipping and posts aswell well as nicolebsicrete.

At the end of they day the hypocrisy is strong even if they're grown adults (supposedly) in Viv's fanbase, there is a level of expected responsibility on them to call out Viv and staff on their bull. But the fanbase is not that and are quick to call out (justifiably so) a problematic lackadaisy staff and other people but ignores all evidence of Viv and staff doing exactly the same this and worse but its all praise, dismissal on any evidence and give so much support for Viv and problematic spindlehorse staff.

Link to Ken's post:

https://www.docdroid.net/zyvFyCb/kens-experience-pdf

[skzoologist]

Hi!

Congratulations on your bolg and your success!

You deserve the whole world! Thanks for running this blog, your writing really gives me a lot. Your style and the feelings you convey are all so beautiful.

The event you created is like a big, wholesome hug from you to us. Thank you!

Okay. so back to business. My request from you: "May we meet again." This sentence means a lot to me because of "the 100" series (ILOVEDIT). In the series, this phrase was said when they said goodbye to each other, so I'd like to see what you think of this phrase among the members. I don't want to define the genre, in my eyes it's up to you. You are doing a great job in everything as I went through your blog. Maybe a ghost AU? It seems interesting to me. And pls interact with these characters: Bae, Hyunjin, Minho, Jisung, Seungmin, Changbin. I'd love to see everyone, but you said it's harder when you have a lot of characters to work/think with, so I tried to pick a few, pls don't hate me for my choice.

So yeah thanks if you write it.

Kind regards

word count: ~2.8k

warnings: it's angst, so be prepared

genre: heavy angst

a/n: You have no clue how much this means to me. Are you sure you meant to send this to me, and not someone else? I am undeserving of these nice words, because these are all I ever wanted to hear. 'You deserve the whole world' is something I use for people I love or look up to, so it means so, so much to me. And the fact that you feel like this event is a warm hug from me? It makes everything all a little better. While I haven't watched that series yet (might after your words about it), your request spawned something far more than a small drabble in my mind. It could outgrow itself even more, if there is need for it in the future. There is also some Bae lore hidden in it, and I hope you'll enjoy it. And don't worry about your choices about the members, I love all of them and would never judge you. I wrote that 'gets hard to write the more members there are' so someone wouldn't request like, every member of two whole bands. An OT8 request? I can do that with pleasure. This note turned long and I apologise, I just want to thank you for taking part in the event and for liking what I do, and may we meet again 💜

Please let me know if I left a warning or anything out, I will add it in! Reblogs, likes and feedback are greatly appreciated!

!I don't condone anyone stealing my work and posting it anywhere without my permission, or feeding it to AI!

!This is just fiction, my interpretation of Stray Kids. By no means is this how they are and how they behave in real life!

‘Your departure was so sudden.

It took every one of us by surprise, and in the worst way possible. I still remember to this day your gentle smiles, the ones that barely curved your lips, or the ones that stretched so far your eyes turned into twinkling little crescents. I loved the way you cutely pouted whenever something you were looking forward to got cancelled, or when we teased you a bit too much. Your skin would flush a warm shade, the colour of strawberries, something you never failed to share with us, despite how much you liked them.

Now all of those are gone, only living in our memories, fated to be faded and erased.

Poof, just like that.

The day we found you was supposed to be one of celebration. Everything was going perfectly, the final day of the tour ending with a bang and the loud cheering of our fans. We were all so happy, and you looked so happy too. Your eyes shined with that pride you loved to look at the members with, and just the memory itself causes my chest to play a bittersweet melody.

After the lights dimmed and we were off the stage, the excitement carried us to the rooms at the back, to have a feast filled with laughter.

You were only supposed to grab some drinks.

Instead we found your unmoving body on the floor in a dark room, as if you hid yourself away in your final moments so we wouldn’t have to witness them.

The days bled together after that. None of us was the same. Some of us lived in denial, while some struggled to accept reality, desperately wishing this was all a bad dream.

It sure felt like it. As if we lived in a hellish timeline, where we failed to notice the signs early and give you proper medical help. We should have seen it coming, with how frequent your migraines were getting.

But we failed.

Our leader just holed himself in, burying himself under mountains of work, uselessly hoping it would distract him. The music he’d created was proof that he failed. Our second oldest turned cold, impossibly so, the playfulness killed out of him. I think it died along with you, something I cannot fault him for to this day. Hyunjin stopped laughing, spending most of his time in his room. One day I stole a glance inside, and it was filled with portraits of you. I haven’t looked into his room ever since.

The young ones took it harder than us, and it was so easy to tell. Jisung was rewatching your favourite shows constantly, either by himself or one of us, as if our presence somehow mimicked yours. Felix… Felix tried the hardest to stay cheerful. He tried to smile and joke around, but eventually, he broke down and fell apart. I miss his brownies. Seungmin became more stoic, if that was even possible. His voice is harsh and critical, not only towards us, but himself as well. Our maknae seems lost all the time, now that you aren’t here to guide him. Sometimes I catch him turning to the side after he’s struggling with something, only to realise you aren’t there to give advice and help.

Me?

I’m the fragile thread that’s trying to keep us together, but hyung…it’s really hard.

I miss you so much.’

The sound of paper turning broke the silence, a new set of pages filled with ink ready to be read.

‘We are doing better now, at least I think.

Chan hyung occasionally leaves his studio, looking like death itself, but… at least we see him now. He also fell back into his leader duties, keeping us in check and making sure we get enough rest, despite not resting enough himself. I’m grateful for it, as I could take a little breather myself this way, but I still have to take care of him, as no one else is capable of it right now. Minho hyung is still distant, but he is slowly returning to his old, playful self. Although he still doesn’t get handsy with us, like he used to. Hyunjin hasn’t made a lot of progress, the light still missing from his eyes. But at least he can be coaxed out of his room for a movie night, a big progress in itself.

Jisung turned overly clingy, as if he was afraid we would suddenly disappear as well. And while Minho was keeping his distance, Jisung was the only one he let latch onto him, hushing the boy amidst another breakdown. Felix seemed to be fine now, his smile back in its place and laughter regularly leaving his lips. But we could see how they weren’t truly genuine, how he never went into the kitchen anymore to bake, how he seemed to zone out when he thought no one was watching. I can only hope we can help him. Seungmin stayed the same, regrettably, the walls around his heart now so thick not even we could break through. Although he would sometimes join us for a movie night as well, whenever I asked. It brought the smallest of hopes into my heart. And Jeongin, little Jeongin, now sported dark circles under his eyes, the skin raw and red regularly. His aversion to skinship lessened, accepting our hugs without protest.

We can recover from this, I just know it. Even if it takes years or a lifetime, but we can.

Or at least I thought we could.

It was a friday night, when we would usually gather around and spend some time together and delude ourselves that everything was fine. We would watch movies, a lot of your favourites in there despite how many times Jisung had seen them already, and just chat or sit in silence, drinking the others’ presence in.

Somehow the topic of conversation turned from our next album’s concepts to pickup lines, and I’d stupidly made the comment how you’d have loved these.

The shift in the atmosphere was instant.

Felix and Jeongin immediately started crying, Jisung soon to follow, as everyone else just sat there with glossy eyes. Nobody was able to console them, mainly because they were too busy trying not to break apart themselves. I failed at it myself, the mistake I’d made heavy on my shoulders.

That was when you’d first made contact with us, making us question our sanity.

All I remember was that the couch next to Jeongin dipped and his tears were wiped away by seemingly nothing, only goosebumps remaining in their place. It continued with Felix, then Jisung, shock clogging their throat as they stared up with wide eyes, as if they were seeing something. If it hadn’t happened to me as well, I wouldn’t have believed it, but…

They were all looking up at you and your ghostly appearance.

Your smile remained the same, if not a bit sad now as you looked at us, your eyes crinkling up in that slight arch and looking alive again. Your outfit remained the same, that dreaded stage outfit we’d last seen you in. Despite that, I was incredibly happy to see you and those cursed clothes again.

With a final swipe of your thumb against my wet cheeks you floated away, consoling the remaining members the best you could. I could tell how frustrated you were, how it pained you that all you could do was manifest power into drying up our tears, unable to touch us properly and bring us into a hug.

Not everyone understood that you were a ghost right away. Their hands phased through you, their eyes turning glossy once again the more they tried.

It was painful to watch.

And yet, you tried your best to meet their touch, your faint appearance slowly becoming stronger, as if you were alive again. Skin met skin and tears were let loose, but this time out of joy, instead of sorrow.

You told us how proud of us you were, that we were still here and continuing forward, as you were buried under our bodies and hugs. We teared up again, the tears never really stopping ever since you’d showed up. We protested and told you all our fears and anguish, how we missed you and how impossible it all felt to continue without you. Yet, you merely chuckled and strengthened your hold on us, as if you knew something we didn’t.

Hours later we all remained in the same position, afraid that you would disappear if we were to let go. When we voiced this, purely because you’d questioned why hadn’t we gotten up to eat and sleep yet, you sighed, the sound familiar and missed.

It didn’t take you long to phase through us, earning panicked sounds from us in response. You merely looked down at us with your hands on your hips and shook your head, telling us to wait there as you floated away into the kitchen. Of course we couldn’t let you out of our sight, in fear of you not appearing again, so we followed you like little ducklings and watched as you whipped up some omelettes for us, the fridge mostly empty besides a few basic ingredients.

We all stared at our plates, mostly still not believing what was happening and questioning if we actually went insane or not. But one bite shattered those worries, the food warm and divine. It brought tears into my eyes, silently weeping as I savoured each bite, the others in similar situations.

You hummed in delight when we all finished eating in your usual way of saying how much of a good job we did in taking care of ourselves. We watched you take the dirty dishes away, stacking them into the sink to wash later.

All of us were afraid to leave and get ready to sleep.

I remember the fear that gripped my heart just from the mere thought that this was all just for one day, and you would be gone the next. It took you coaxing us and your slightly see through form to accompany us as we got ready for bed, none of us willing to part ways with you.

And when it came to sleep, we adamantly stared at you instead, unable to hold you anymore as you said you were too tired to manifest yourself. It only added fuel to our fears.

We all sat on the floor of our living room, blankets and pillows on the ground, eyes drooping, yet never staying closed for long.

I fell asleep, afraid you wouldn’t be there when I woke up.’

The shifting of clothes and the crinkling of paper filled the silent space.

‘You were there the next day. And on the day after that, and the day after that as well. You were with us for long weeks, months even, as if that horrible day had never happened.

Everyone felt better, as if you appeared just to heal us. I wouldn’t doubt that, as kind and caring you were. It feels as if life took you away from us as some kind of punishment, so we could experience how harsh the world truly is without you by our side.

The group was back to their usual selves, something even the fans commented on. Chan was back at the dorms, spending only the minimum required time at the studio. Minho was back to his playful and weird self, grabbing at us and making weird noises randomly. I never thought I would ever miss those sounds. Hyunjin started laughing again, the sound like a healing balm to my soul. He cleaned out his room too, gifting some of your portraits to us, storing the others away as memories.

Jisung started joking around more, having stopped binge watching shows in a bundle of blankets. He was still clingy, but to a normalish extent. Felix started genuinely laughing and smiling again, your presence glueing his broken pieces together. On the second week of your reappearance he even baked, saddened that you couldn’t taste his cookies anymore. Seungmin was back to teasing us again, his puppy self coming out. Those walls around him crumbled at your gentle touch, and I never thought I would be so glad to have him constantly bother me once again. And lastly, our little maknae seemed happy, no more sleepless nights spent with practice and worry. He still seemed lost sometimes, but you were there to help him in the blink of an eye.

Everything felt good now, as if you weren’t even gone in the first place.

Something we never should have forgotten.

I still remember how we all blatantly ignored the signs once again, as how we’d done it in the past before your passing. You slowly started to spend less and less time cuddling with us, your form turning more and more translucent. You even seemed sadder, something you masked quite well in our presence.

One night, you gathered us together in the living room. Happy to spend time with you, we didn’t even question why, something that turned out to be a big mistake.

Your form seemed so frail, as if it was a wind away from disappearing forever. Yet, you still sported a smile, only for our sake, as if you didn’t do so, we would break into tiny pieces once again.

Words left your mouth, but I couldn’t quite comprehend them. So you repeated yourself softly, holding a hand to my cheek, the presence there so faint I could barely feel it.

You were disappearing from this world, forever this time.

I didn’t want to believe it, the air stuck in my lungs. I faintly heard Felix and Jisung break apart and start sobbing, your gentle hushes and words not able to fully comfort them. Next was Jeongin to crack, your thumbs that were now completely see through barely wiping his tears away. Hyunjin who was next to him grabbed onto you, unable to believe what you’d said. It took you longer to console him, his grip unrelenting. Chan soon joined the others, unable to keep up the tough leader act after being hurt so much. But you’d never commented on it, not even then, you merely hushed him as he hugged your slowly disappearing form. Minho silently wept, head turned down and eyes hidden underneath his hair. Even still, you could tell, kneeling down before him and comforting him. It broke him completely, sobs now loud and pleading.

The last one you turned to was Seungmin, silent tears already forming rivers down his face, lips pressed together tightly. You went over to him, even if it seemed to cost you a great amount of strength to do so, and cupped his face. Some tears collided with your faint hands, some passed through and fell onto the floor. He placed both of his hands onto yours, not wanting to see you go. But you smiled at him, a bittersweet smile, before uttering your last words and completely disappearing, leaving open wounds and trauma in your place.

“May we meet again, in another life, in another time.”

I wanted to live with you and create memories together in this life, yet you left us. Not once, but twice.

How cruel of you, hyung.’

The sound of the door opening stole my attention, my hand automatically closing the book shut, sealing those memories away temporarily.

“Hey Bin. What’s up?” - it was Jisung, having just come back from an interview.

I merely shrugged as I stood up to ruffle his hair, earning a whine from him and a smile from me. He swatted me away as I tried to do it again, his eyes drifting down towards the table and its content.

“Oh.” - that was all that left his lips, the expression on his face now turning soft and wistful.

I watched him slowly walk towards the book, taking it in his hands and carefully caressing its decorated cover, courtesy of every one of us. Memories seemed to pass by in front of his eyes, the surface now slightly glossy and dimmed.

“Hyung, I hope you’re doing well. Love you.” - he muttered before gingerly placing the book back onto its original place, a shelf that sat proudly on the middle of the wall, dedicated to one person only.

I couldn’t help but smile, the memories now sitting fresh in my mind, the wound now years later healed and scarred over.

Jisung was by the door already, looking expectantly back at me. I quickly grabbed my keys and jacket after putting on my shoes, looking back at that shelf one last time.

“May we meet again, hyung.”

[mecachrome]

What are your favorite moments between Lando and Oscar?

Do you read any books? If so, what kind, because I'm looking for inspiration for reading.

hi anon! 🧡

i've alr made 2 posts of my fav moments (oct 2023 / april 2024) so i'll gather some recent ones if that's ok !!! it's genuinely insane how much content we've gotten in the past 2-3 months hlskdh writing this made me realize i hadn't properly registered how ridiculous they've been ever since miami 😭

f1 24 ratings: i really think landoscar stand out sooo much in this video compared to the other grid pairings which are usually some combination of more diplomatic/reserved/normal/antagonistic around each other, like yes each pairing on the grid has a unique dynamic & many are friendly as well don't get me wrong! but here it's just... the sheer combination of how unreserved 814 are around each other, how they bicker/banter naturally, how they focus only on each other and get off-track and ramble about random things that have nothing to do with the ratings etc. that makes me so... @___@ basically against the much more "careful" interactions of other teammates you can tell landoscar are very evenly and comfortably matched and that's basically the ethos of why i like them in the first place !!!

the insanity of lando's praise kink in their android video (i did a good job? 🥺) + oscar indulging him the entire time + lando telling oscar that he has a SOOTHING VOICE before immediately getting all shy about it and trying to laugh it off... girl

Are you more of a moaner or a grunter: like first of all What on earth. but also in general i always find landoscar soo amusing on filmed radio shows because it really highlights their sense of mischief + ability to communicate with nothing but meaningful glances LOL. like they are so good at feeling out the other's sarcasm and going along with jokes on the fly / knowing where the limit is which is why lando can be like oh we hate each other oscar is my biggest rival 🙄 and oscar just thinks lando is being silly & cute 😭😭😭

entirety of silverstone wknd esp post-race fan stage esp "you're going to let down sooo many people :(" and oscar immediately giggling and going "well since you put it that way!!" + the fact that lando stroked oscar's shoulder and stared him down for an eternity before patting his arm and oscar teasingly elbowed lando back about being the home favorite + just the shoey and the face oscar made at lando when he was trying to egg him on + oscar continuously ragdolling at everything lando says or does even when it's not even remotely funny?!?! 😭 Don't even get me started on the bracelets.

team hub tour has such a wealth of different moments but i think the one people talk about the most is You Frickin' Muppet which frankly permanently lives in my brain ! but it's also once again just sweet to see how comfortable they are in their personal/shared space and how oscar pleasantly nods along to all of lando's commentary (even when he's LYING). also the hammock moment 😔 anon i like them

last but certainly not least -> POST-AUSTRIA LANDO INTERVIEW.... (head in hands) actually felt unwell about this moment for days the entire thing is still so crasy to me. like the barely suppressed impatience and lando's emotions clearly running high and you can tell he's still feeling unwell and just generally Done with the weekend, and then oscar suddenly passes by and before lando even really properly sees him he's running off to congratulate him??? out of everything we've gotten in the past few months this one really krills me...

2. for books: anon i'm afraid i haven't read properly in wayyy too long i'm sorry! 😭 my health problems and brain fog make it difficult to focus although i know i should really get back into it...

anyway this is even more embarrassing but i almost exclusively read books about gay people HLKSDFH. like literally. i mostly enjoy bittersweet gay fiction & non-fiction, recently-ish i read garth greenwell - what belongs to you and some of my old favs are carmen maria machado - in the dream house, el-mohtar/gladstone - this is how you lose the time war, and kira t madden - long live the tribe of fatherless girls... for example 💀 was also like halfway through young mungo and all this could be different but i kind of forgot about them whoops

otherwise i loooove love love graphic novels !!! i'm a big fan of all forms of sequential art & animation and take Supporting The Arts very seriously :') some of my favs are tillie walden - on a sunbeam and trung le nguyen - the magic fish — i adore tillie walden and in general am just a fan of a lot of stuff published by first second *__*

also if you want to read about f1 i genuinely find jenson's autobiography (life to the limit) so entertaining LOL... it's a really quick n breezy read but "his" writing voice is still witty & fun imo :') also last year i listened to the first book of the beartown trilogy while i was stuck in the hospital and immediately read the other two after and the entire experience lowk CHANGED MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE... tbf i am a hockey fan so this somewhat influenced my perception but it's really so much more than a hockey series the hockey is just a vehicle for like dissecting the human condition and what not. fredrik backman is literally crasyyy 2 me how does he understand people so well how does he dig into people's psyches like that... *__* anyway i won't say too much but benji ovich is unironically the character of my life. my blorbo if you will 😔

ok sorry this was probably a useless ramble HKLSDFH but thank uuu for the ask <3 let us reminisce on all these beautiful 814 moments