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vespiiqueen · 4 years

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List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box of the last 10 people who reblogged something from you (if you want !! 💛💖)

Wow I rambled a lot with this but i can't add cuts bc I'm on mobile rn DHSISHSJ sorry :"))))

1. Ik Ik "haha how cringe are you" of me to say, but honestly? Homestuck. Homestuck helped me in a time of need and when i so desperately wanted something to latch onto. Finally, I caved into my friends telling me to read it-- and it's been a blast!! The epilogues / hs^2 make me feel kinda sad though, because so much of what I loved about the original was yeeted through the nine circles of hell and into the trash. I love Y/ffany's (I call her Yippi tho) design, the art is really pretty at times, Harry is a major dork, I LIVE for seeing Vrissy bc honestly?? Her design is 10/10, very early 2000s emo style and I also live for that. Tavros is cute and a nerd and I think that's swell!

But in terms of story and how any of this happens, it makes me sad to see it happen. If Vriska could return as Vrissy, why not OTHER beta trolls? Where's my Eridan fish man, writers?? Give me the boy or perish by my fury.

2. Also super "haha how cringe are you" but,,, murder cats (Warriors), esp the early 2005-2015 amvs and stuff. I remember watching Flightfootwarrior's "I Will Not Bow" Scourge amv for HOurs and having no clue what was happening, but all these edgy kitties were KITTIES! It's introduced me to a lot of music I still listen to to this very day (Imagine Dragons, Young/the entirety of Hollywood Undead, Breaking Benjamin). And yknow what?? This new arc is absolute chaos, but in the good way.

I'm an "OG Fan". I prefer the first arc, The Prophecies Begin, to almost any of the other arcs. I just could never get into the other arcs-- not to say I haven't read them, I HAVE and the Fire Scene was probably one of my favorite moments beside grumpy Jaypaw, god complex Lionblaze, and fear the gods Hollypaw. I thought the build-up for it was SUPER satisfying. Gray Wing is my baby and I fully embellish in the Gray Wing is Silverpelt theory.

This new arc is definitely something new for the universe. While I didn't read aVoS (but I may do that if i can find the files for it), and so I don't know the major events of it other than what I've seen M.A.P.'s (Multi-Animator Projects, for clarification,,, bc unfortunately that term is also something disgusting). There's fucking cat possession and all the Clans questioning their belief system, yo. Shit be on fire.

Also the Imposter is 100% Ashfur, that's canon now, yeah??? Also im sorry but fuck Root x Bristle that's the dumbest shit I have ever seen. Give me Root x Shadow or face the wrath of my dragon plushies.

RiverClan is my Clan and my gov assigned warrior name is Fireshell 🌟🌟

3. As much as I hate the author,,,,, Harry Potter. It's been a major part of my life for as long as I can remember. I can never really remember why, but I've always just loved it- the movies, the books, the extra little merch that would pop up in my local Walmart. Of course my favorite character is Draco Malfoy. I could go on and on and ON about how I think his character arc was SHIT and JKR didn't have the balls to make him a confident gay man that was always implied through the text (at least, my lesbian ass thought it was implied but i may just be projecting, idk). I could ramble about Draco for HOURS and what I think his character SHOULD have been and how his parents are horrible (more specifically, Lucius bc Narcissa [?] Actually showed a few good moments), and a child should never have to pay for their parents sins.

Oh noo, Draco's a villain because he's a victim of major abuse and peer pressure? He's a villain because a literal child can be horrible and they'll always always always stay as a horrible little fiend?? Fuck that. He's a child.

Unlike manchild grease pan Snape, who was a racist piece of shit and shouldn't have became a fucking school teacher but it's okay because he was ~~~in love~~~. No, fuck you, he was a creep. James Potter n Co may have been a little posh bitch to you, Snape, but that's no fucking excuse to continue to bluntly be a little cunt all the way into adulthood. You're an adult who flatly changed your PATRONUS to imitate Lily's. You have no excuse. And Harry went and named his child after you LIKE JESUS CHRIST, DID RON'S SISTER NOT HAVE A SAY IN THE NAMES TOO?????

I also fully adore the idea that Muggles can run into Hogwarts and their patronus can 100% be a made up, fantasy creature. Imagine you learn the patronus spell and suddenly fucking ARCEUS comes from your wand. Imagine learning the spell and CHTULU (i did not spell that right but im so tired) comes from your wand-- an entire ass fucking Lovecraftian, Eldrith horror is just the embodiment of you. What if it was a fucking Homestuck character like Vriska? How fucking METAL would that be?? Hskajssowjjsjs get on it fandom.

4. Hee hee very evident by my url but Pokemon is another major thing of mine. While vespiquen isn't my favorite (that title goes to Hydreigon), it is definitely up there!

I've ALWAYS enjoyed the idea of Pokemon. You run around, training up these fight monsters and collecting them. I remember playing my sister's Ruby version on her flip-up Gameboy. I couldn't even read but I ran around catching god only knows how many of the same pokemon wherever she was. Apparently, I had fought for hours in the same area and leveled her Blaziken up to lvl 50 something and left her lvl 30s in the dust LMAO.

I got my first game when it was Pearl/Diamond. It was Pearl, and it still holds a very fond place in my heart. I could barely read, I could barely write-- I had named my Turtwig something along the lines of "MmorpHy" and my player boy "ZbsibJ". Yes I remember the names slightly. I really didn't get far-- I barely got to the first gym but I was just so happy to play it.

I eventually lost the game, as a 5 year old would do, but I can still vividly remember what was happening when the game arrived. I had just came back from the dentist and was quite tired from fighting the dentist bc I was super scared. Mom suddenly handed me a box and said it was mine-- my overseas (at that time) dad had bought me Pearl and my sister Diamond, because I lost my shit about it when he visited one time.

Well, tdlr, I played it for about five minutes while struggling to stay awake against the loopy gas they made me take. I fell asleep listening to Twinleaf Town's soundtrack. Every time I play a rom of Pearl and I get to where the player's house fades in and I hear that first tune of the song, I get a huge smile on my face and cry-- as.. Weird as it sounds.

A few years later, I had gotten Pokemon Black bc I liked Reshiram on the cover. Now, this one I could actually READ when playing, but I don't remember a lot of things about it. I probably lost this one too, as a 8/9 year old would do. I DO remember, I chose Snivy and my sister chose Tepig (hrmm there's a theme here of grass/fire goin on......) and vibing to the music. I was so amazed by the sprites moving, I just kept getting into encounters to see the sprites move (oh boy, no one tell younger 7-9 y/o me about Zelda......oh wait....)

Playing Pokemon NOW, as a 17 year old """gifted""" chick, I stil have very fond memories. I recently beat Pokemon Black again and GOD the OTS SLAPS. I fucking adore the soundtrack-- the track that plays when you battle a trainer, the low health dings being turned into a legit song that also slaps, the battle! gym leader themes-- and oh my gOd, the legendary theme is amazing? It really tells you just how glorious these pokemon are supposed to be. It's not intimidating like Groudon/Kyroge/Rayquaza's themes. It's not action packed like Palkia/Dialga's is, it's not filled with tension like Giratina/Arceus's is-- but it radiates the GLORY that the beasts portray. And I live for that. (Also, Kyurem's version is my favorite because it glitches in the beginning and that's rly cool)

P/D/P and BW/BW2's stories, imo, are some of the greatest ones. Yeahhh, US/USUM's is cool and I haven't played XY nor SwSh-- but the ones I can find memorable are PDP and BW/BW2. I love N. I love Barry. They're my sons. Ghetsis is fucking terrifying, Cyrus needs a hug. Giratina scared the piss out of me when I was younger, which was NOT helped by Giratina and The Sky Warrior.

I think my favorite movies are the gen 4 ones. The Rise of Darkrai having a tear-jerking theme for such a mysterious pokemon (i still tear up when i hear Ocarion), Giratina being spiteful is a mood and Shaymin was cute, Arceus being angry is also a mood. Yeah, Pokemon 4Ever made me cry my eyes out over Celebi, Mewtwo Returns made me again cry because Mewtwo accepting who he is, I remember how vastly different the BW movies are-

I just. I have a lot of memories with the series, even if Gamefreak and Nintendo kinda do the series dirty a lot (your top-grossing thing and you made That monstrosity for the Switch? How dare you.). It's comforting to be stressed and pull up my roms for the games and to play them. Mystery Dungeon is incredibly fun to play, Pokemon Ranger is really fun with the concept (Shadows of Almia continues to kick my ass to this very day and FUCK the Jungle Relic, I hate the Water Challenge fucking gyarados bullshit). I remember the pokemon I got for MD (I got Time, my sis got Darkness) was Mudkip, if that is any help.

I love my little fictional pixel monsters.

5. Yup, someone told tiny 7-9 y/o me about console games. The legend of Zelda. My first Zelda game was Twilight Princess on the Wii and BOY did I play the fucking SHIT out of that game.

Honestly, looking back and looking at playthroughs now-- I still love TP. Twilight Princess is still one of my top favorite Zelda games-- yes, even after playing OoT, Majora's Mask, Wind Waker, Skyward Sword, the anniversary four swords edition for the DS where you could play by yourself (Nintendo pls bring that back, I don't have friends to play it with ;-;), Phantom Hourglass- ect.

Something about Twilight Princess grabbed me by the head and yeeted me into the world. I can remember playing it for hours with little to no breaks. I, a tiny 9 y/o, had gotten the hang of the controllers and managed to get past the tutorial quite easily. And then, I was launched into the game and I wasn't stopping for NOTHING. Mom and Dad would have to force me to save and get off to go and eat dinner. THAT sucked.

I had done everything on my own up until the first temple, the forest temple. Not where/when you saved the dumb kid, but when you were saving the spirit's light. Theeeeeeennn I got stuck on the fucking Forest Temple for deadass six months straight. I'd play for hours, running around in circles, unable to figure out where to go, and because I didn't grasp the temple's purpose of being that way- I'd get angry and get off. It wasn't until dad looked up a walkthrough and talked me through what I was supposed to do that I learned how to get through temples.

I had gotten to the last little fight with Ganondorf before the Wii broke and i could no longer play. Despite the Wii being broke and we got rid of it, I was ADAMANT on keeping the game, and I kept that game for YEARS. It was an original copy out of a sealed box, and I eventually lost it when I left it accidentally at my now ex-friend's house.

She had a Wii and I went "hey I have a Wii game!" And I brought my Zelda over. Worst fucking choice of my goddamn life. Mom called me to come home and said I couldn't sleep over like the original plan was, and that was it. My ex-friend stashed my Zelda and I never saw it again. And, even if I wanted to-- I couldn't get it back, which makes me upset. We had a BAD falling out. She likely doesn't even remember it's there, or sold it to the local game junkie kid who buys ALL games.

But I still love the game. Midna was amazing, and I loved how snarky she was and she has a very cute design! The game's OST is fucking phenomenal. Midna's Desperate Hour makes me cry bc goddamn it really sells how serious that situation is. I love Hyrule Field's theme in this game. I love the Twilight Realm's song. Zant was fucking hilariously scary. Ganondorf's design in this game scared the piss out of me when I was younger.

Midna and this game's Link and Zelda are def my favorites. Yeah yeah, Sheik is cool and all I Guess but dhsushwishs Midna holds the special place in my heart. She was totally my gay awakening BUT

For other game antagonists, I adore Ghirahim-- let's go you funky little queer-coded villain. Skull Kid was great, I love the entire dynamic of him. Prankster lost soul stumbles upon Majora's Mask and the mask makes him act out due to powers-- which, I actually took very heavy inspiration from for one of my OCs. The moon falling to Hyrule was a fucking terrifying looming threat.

But the game series holds a place, and I've yet to be able to play BoTW-- although, I'm fairly certain I'll like it. The playthroughs I've watched of it are all fairly decent! I just. Gotta save up enough money to buy it haha.

Dang guess I gotta go watch a Twilight Princess playthrough again.

Honorable Mentions:

Avatar: the Last Airbender, specifically Book 3

my OCs definitely make me happy, they're my children and I'd ramble A LOT longer if given the chance WHEEZE

My friends, but I didn't add them here bc it's more fictional stuff, I presume

Baking. I love to bake cupcakes.

Painting is fun. I'm an artist and goddammit im going to use painting as an excuse to make a mess.

Fire. I rly like fire, down to a pyromaniac level. However, i hate the fires that happened to my home town, the Great Smokey Fires of 2016-- THAT pissed me off. How dare you burn mountain landscapes to the ground. Perish.

History. I'm a history nerd.

I'm also a science nerd.

But fuck math, I cannot comprehend math to save my life.

For some reason, I rly like learning how the human body works??? like did you know, organs are actually sticky when touched by a bare hand?? Did you?? How fucking cool is that.

Bakugan. I love Bakugan, esp the DS game. I love my Darkus Leonidas. Give me back the online world, you peasants-- I want my Darkus Dragonoid. (Also fuck all my friends from when I was in kindergarten- my theory that Alice was Masquerade was somewhat correct.)

#admin ace #admin ace speaks #communistvriska #inbox tag #homestuck #warrior cats #harry potter #pokemon #legend of zelda

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twoidiotwriters1 · 5 years

Text

Written In The Stars XV (Harry Potter xF!Oc)

A/N: Tumblr malfunction as I was editing this and everything went to shit. But I hope it works now! Also, @omiwashere for some reason your url doesn’t appear to me as on option so i can’t tag you at all, perhaps you have another url?

Words: 3,252

Warnings: Bit of unicorn blood, bit of violence

Series’ Masterlist

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Chapter Fifteen: The Creature in the Forest.

"It's too late to change the plan now," Harry lamented, "We haven't got time to send Charlie another owl and this could be our only chance to get rid of Norbert. We'll have to risk it. And we have got the Invisibility Cloak, Malfoy doesn't know about that."

On Saturday, the three kids -Harry, Mel, and Hermione- went to Hagrid's hut to take his 'little baby' away.

"Bye-bye, Norbert!" Hagrid sobbed as they disappeared under the cloak with Norbert beside them, "Mummy will never forget you!"

"Mummy," Mel shook her head, "why a dragon, why not another sweet, black puppy?"

They walked in complete darkness, voices catching their attention.

"Detention!" McGonagall shouted, "And twenty points from Slytherin! Wandering around in the middle of the night, how dare you –"

"You don't understand, Professor, Harry Potter's coming – he's got a dragon!"

Mel had to cover her mouth so she wouldn't laugh. She was beaming, Malfoy finally getting what he deserved!

They waited at the top of the astronomy tower. About ten minutes later, four brooms appeared in the night sky.

It was fast and easy: Charlie's friends were nice, they took Norbert as if it was an everyday thing, and they flew, they went further... until they were completely gone.

They were downstairs when Mel realized something important was missing. Before she could warn her friends, a voice came from a dark corner:

"Well, well, well," Filch whispered, able to see them since they forgot Harry's cloak back in the tower. "we are in trouble."

Mel was silent. She was weighing her options, what could she do to get everyone out of trouble.

She was a Dumbledore! Somewhere inside that pea-brain she had the social skills to make their way out of this mess.

"Harry!" Neville appeared next to McGonagall, "I was trying to find you to warn you, I heard Malfoy saying he was going to catch you, he said you had a drag–"

Harry shook his head violently next to her, Professor McGonagall saw him.

"I would never have believed it of any of you. Mr Filch says you were up the astronomy tower. It's one o'clock in the morning. Explain yourselves."

Mel closed her eyes, breathing heavily. This was it, if she didn't give a proper explanation, they'd be doomed.

But what could possibly explain the situation that didn't give them away?

Draco was found and he was telling stories about a dragon and Harry... they didn't get along with Malfoy, all the teachers knew that...

Mel took a moment to control her voice and then, in a very serious tone she answered:

"We lied."

Harry looked at her, Mel avoided his eyes afraid that it might give them away.

"You lied?" McGonagall asked harshly, "About what?"

Mel shook her head taking her time, she added:

"We wanted to teach Malfoy a lesson."

Her Professor nodded once.

"I see. I think I've got a good idea of what's been going on,' said Professor McGonagall to Mel's relief, "It doesn't take a genius to work it out. You fed Draco Malfoy some cock-and-bull story about a dragon, trying to get him out of bed and into trouble. I've already caught him. I suppose you think it's funny that Longbottom here heard the story and believed it, too?"

"No, Professor," Mel added in panic, watching Neville's disappointed face, "Neville wasn't supposed to hear it... but that doesn't excuse us"

"I'm disgusted," said Professor McGonagall, "Five students out of bed in one night! I've never heard of such a thing before! You, Miss Granger, I thought you had more sense. As for you, Mr Potter, I thought Gryffindor meant more to you than this. Miss Dumbledore, you've been spending your time with the Weasley boys, I should've guessed something was going on. All five of you will receive detentions – yes, you too, Mr Longbottom, nothing gives you the right to walk around school at night, especially these days, it's very dangerous – and fifty points will be taken from Gryffindor."

"Fifty?" Harry gasped.

"Fifty points each," said Professor McGonagall.

"Professor – please –"

"You can't –"

Mel put a hand on Harry's shoulder, shaking her head frantically.

"Don't tell me what I can and can't do, Potter. Now get back to bed, all of you. I've never been more ashamed of Gryffindor students."

Next morning was a nightmare, students were insulting her and every single one of her friends except for Ron. All of them were quieter, ashamed of what had happened, but she kept her head high.

She answered every question in class, worked hard to be the head of her year, she wasn't going to feel ashamed about helping Hagrid.

People weren't happy about that either, how dare she be so loud and know-it-all after losing so many points? Mel had to make her way out of her bad reputation soon.

Fred and George weren't bad to her, but they weren't acting as friendly as before. They were impressed about her skill with spells, but they also avoided her in public places. She didn't mind, that way she could focus on gaining more points.

Someone was definitely not avoiding her though, now that she'd helped Slytherin to go back on its first place. As a matter of fact, he seemed excited about their friendship now more than ever.

"Morning, Miss," Erick sat next to her during the morning break, "how's life going when you're one of the most hated people at school?"

"Could be worse," She said shortly, "Harry's miserable as well as Hermione and Neville. I'm not. I owe nothing to the rest of the students."

"Slytherin is beyond happy right now," He replied gleefully, "particularly Malfoy. If it wasn't for your major faux pas they'd be terribly mad at him, but he keeps saying it was thanks to him that you lost all those points... It isn't true is it?"

"He got caught before he could actually find us," Mel replied with annoyance, "Could you leave? If you're only here to brag about Slytherin's victory you can do that another time, I'm not in the mood."

"Calm down, I'm just teasing," He rolled his eyes.

"You never talk to me, but now suddenly you're so talkative," She snarled, "Sorry if I confused your friendly teasing with being an idiot."

"Well yes, you're forgiven," He chuckled. When he noticed Mel wasn't amused, he added, "I'm just seizing the opportunity to openly talk to a friend, it'll go away as soon as you save five kittens from the whomping willow or some bizarre adventure of sorts. I know you have a luck for that."

"Well I wish I had the luck to be left alone when I want to," She replied, "just go away!"

He stood up, as he started to walk away he added:

"I'll stop talking to you until things get better. Or I'll just stop talking to you altogether, who knows?" Erick said it carelessly, but his fists were clenched.

Mel didn't answer, she didn't know what she wanted.

Through the course of a month, Mel won thirty points for Gryffindor. It wasn't enough but she was doing her part, she would keep on working at least until they reached the third place.

Quirrell had given up and Snape was one step closer to get what he wanted. She had promised she wouldn't mingle in foreign matters, she needed to win more points for her house. So she decided to stay out of it.

Harry thought the same, he forced himself to forget about the subject and kept on studying. The only person that seemed disappointed was Ron, who couldn't wait to have another adventure.

Harry, Mel, Hermione, and Neville got a note during breakfast:

'Your detention will take place at eleven o'clock tonight.

Meet Mr Filch in the Entrance Hall.

Prof. M. McGonagall'

"Brilliant," Mel groaned, angrily biting her turkey sandwich.

"Follow me," said Filch once they were gathered outside, "I bet you'll think twice about breaking a school rule again, won't you, eh? Oh yes ... hard work and pain are the best teachers if you ask me ... It's just a pity they let the old punishments die out ... hang you by your wrists from the ceiling for a few days, I've got the chains still in my office, keep 'em well oiled in case they're ever needed ... Right, off we go, and don't think of running off, now, it'll be worse for you if you do."

Mel had a lot of opinions about all that, but she decided to keep it to herself, she was already drowning in troubles.

Their detention consisted of something easy: Hagrid would take them to the forbidden forest, yet she didn't have any idea as to why. Malfoy tried to refuse, it was fun to see his little cold eyes filled with horror.

"Look there," said Hagrid, "see that stuff shinin' on the ground? Silvery stuff? That's unicorn blood. There's a unicorn in there bin hurt badly by summat. This is the second time in a week. I found one dead last Wednesday. We're gonna try an' find the poor thing. We might have ter put it out of its misery."

"And what if whatever hurt the unicorn finds us first?" said Malfoy.

"There's nothin' that lives in the Forest that'll hurt yeh if yer with me or Fang," said Hagrid. "An' keep ter the path. Right, now, we're gonna split inter two parties an' follow the trail in diff'rent directions. There's blood all over the place, it must've bin staggerin' around since last night at least."

"I want Fang," squeaked Malfoy.

"All right, but I warn yeh, he's a coward," said Hagrid. "So me, Harry an' Hermione'll go one way an' Draco, Neville, Mel an' Fang'll go the other. Now, if any of us finds the unicorn, we'll send up green sparks, right? Get yer wands out an' practise now – that's it – an' if anyone gets in trouble, send up red sparks, an' we'll all come an' find yeh – so, be careful – let's go."

The groups parted ways, Neville firmly holding Mel's sleeve as they walked through the narrow trees.

"I shouldn't be here," Malfoy spat, "I should've shown them the letter and I'd be out of trouble-"

"You don't have the letter anymore. Even if you did, it would look like you made it up to get out of your punishment," Mel replied calmly, "stop whining"

"I suppose you must feel quite at home surrounded by beasts"

"Yes, and a rat like you must be terrified, you could be attacked at any moment," She rolled her eyes, "shut up, you'll attract the werewolves you love so dearly..."

Malfoy for the first time ever listened to her and stayed quiet. Neville was starting to hurt her arm, she gently asked him to stop and stepped away, shivering.

They had been walking for about fifteen minutes when Malfoy decided to scare Neville, sneaking up and jumping on his back. Neville got so scared that he shot red sparks into the air.

"You should've seen your face!" Draco cackled.

"Stupid!" Mel clenched her fists, "Hagrid is gonna get mad! We shouldn't be causing fuss while we're doing this, we won't find anything this way!"

"Who said I wanted to find it?" He frowned, "That's not my job, he's taking advantage of us"

"The same way you take advantage of Crabbe and Goyle cause they're big and can protect you," Mel snapped.

Malfoy barely reacted, shrugging.

"They're too stupid to make it through school on their own."

Mel was too angry to reply, she spent the next five minutes calming Neville and once Hagrid found them he was indeed upset about Malfoy's behavior, he changed the groups for Neville's sake.

Now Harry was coming with them. The blond kid remained quiet now, probably tired or pissed about was wasting his time. Harry and Mel didn't talk much either, they didn't want to disturb the creatures.

The unicorn's blood guided them to a clearing: The creature laid dead shining under the moonlight, one could imagine it was sleeping if it wasn't for the pool of blood surrounding its body.

Mel and Harry approached when a cloaked figure appeared crawling over to the animal, drinking the blood from its wound.

Malfoy let out a high, terrified scream as he ran away with Fang beside him, Mel and Harry stood there, terrified. Harry yelped in pain, a hand on his forehead.

He stumbled back and fell to his knees, only then Mel found herself capable to move, kneeling next to the boy and trying to uncover his face.

"What's wrong?" She yelled, hands cold as ice when she touched him.

The sound of hooves approaching and a tall figure jumping above them distracted her... a centaur. Mel watched as he scared the creature away, protecting them from whatever it was that thing.

"Harry," She stammered, looking back at the boy, "l-let me see!"

Harry looked up as the centaur got closer, helping them to their feet.

"Are you all right?"

"Yes – thank you – what was that?"

The centaur was staring at Harry's scar, she would've said something if he hadn't just saved their lives.

"You are the Potter boy," he said. "You had better get back to Hagrid. The Forest is not safe at this time – especially for you. Can you ride? It will be quicker this way," Then he looked over to Mel, icy blue eyes reading her carefully, "You vibrate. What's your name?"

It was a really odd thing to say, but Mel assumed centaurs were strange like that.

"Mel Dumbledore," She stretched out her hand, but the centaur didn't take it.

He nodded, "My name is Firenze."

He kneeled so they could climb over on his back.

Once they were seated, galloping echoed through the trees and soon enough two more centaurs appeared in front of them.

"Firenze!" One thundered. "What are you doing? You have humans on your back! Have you no shame? Are you a common mule?"

"Do you realise who these are?" said Firenze. "This is the Potter boy. The girl is Dumbledore's descendant. The quicker they leave this Forest, the better"

"What have you been telling him? Remember, Firenze, we are sworn not to set ourselves against the heavens. Have we not read what is to come in the movements of the planets?"

"I'm sure Firenze thought he was acting for the best," The second centaur spoke up.

"For the best! What is that to do with us? Centaurs are concerned with what has been foretold! It is not our business to run around like donkeys after stray humans in our Forest!"

Firenze reared on to his hind legs, Mel had to hold onto Harry's waist and he grabbed Firenze's shoulders.

"Do you not see that unicorn? Do you not understand why it was killed? Or have the planets not let you in on that secret? I set myself against what is lurking in this Forest, Bane, yes, with humans alongside me if I must."

Firenze then galloped away.

"Why's Bane so angry?" Harry asked. "What was that thing you saved me from, anyway?"

Firenze did not answer, he kept going and spoke only to make sure Harry and Mel kept their heads low to avoid hanging branches. Her mind was starting to divert when he spoke up.

"Do you know what unicorn blood is used for?"

"No," said Harry, "We've only used the horn and tail-hair in Potions."

"That is because it is a monstrous thing, to slay a unicorn. Only one who has nothing to lose, and everything to gain, would commit such a crime. The blood of a unicorn will keep you alive, even if you are an inch from death, but at a terrible price. You have slain something pure and defenseless to save yourself and you will have but a half-life, a cursed life, from the moment the blood touches your lips."

"But who'd be that desperate? If you're going to be cursed forever, death's better, isn't it?"

"It is unless all you need is to stay alive long enough to drink something else – something that will bring you back to full strength and power – something that will mean you can never die. Do you know what is hidden in the school at this very moment?"

"The Philosopher's Stone! Of course – the Elixir of Life! But I don't understand who –"

"Can you think of nobody who has waited many years to return to power, who has clung to life, awaiting their chance?"

Mel didn't have to think, there was only one man who was capable of such horrors.

"Voldemort," She said in certainty.

"Harry! Mel! Are you all right?"

Hermione was running towards them down the path, Hagrid puffing along behind her.

"We're fine," said Harry, with a dry voice, "The unicorn's dead, Hagrid, it's in that clearing back there."

"This is where I leave you," Firenze murmured as Hagrid hurried off to examine the unicorn. "You are safe now."

Harry and Mel slid off his back.

"Thank you," Mel replied, "I hope we didn't get you in trouble for this"

"Don't worry about me, young Dumbledore. Worry about the dangers that might reach you," Without explaining, he turned to Harry, "Good luck, Harry Potter. The planets have been read wrongly before now, even by centaurs. I hope this is one of those times."

Harry was very agitated when they returned to the common room, he paced up and down as he told Ron and Hermione what happened in the forest, -with few interventions from Mel- he was sure he'd figured things out.

"Snape wants the stone for Voldemort ... and Voldemort's waiting in the Forest ... and all this time we thought Snape just wanted to get rich ..."

"Stop saying the name!" said Ron in a whisper.

But Harry was in his own head.

"Firenze saved us, but he shouldn't have done ... Bane was furious ... he was talking about interfering with what the planets say is going to happen ... They must show that Voldemort's coming back ... Bane thinks Firenze should have let Voldemort kill me ... I suppose that's written in the stars as well."

"Will you stop saying the name!" Ron hissed.

"Not saying the name it's silly," Mel countered, sitting still in her place.

"-So all I've got to wait for now is Snape to steal the Stone, then Voldemort will be able to come and finish me off ... Well, I suppose Bane'll be happy."

"Don't say that!" This time, it was Mel who reacted to what Harry said, "You won't die, think about a second where you're standing."

"Harry, everyone says Dumbledore's the only one You-Know-Who was ever afraid of," Hermione agreed, "With Dumbledore around, You-Know-Who won't touch you. Anyway, who says the centaurs are right? It sounds like fortune-telling to me, and Professor McGonagall says that's a very imprecise branch of magic."

"Maybe with humans it is," Mel shifted uncomfortably on her place, "but we don't know how it works with other creatures, who knows, they might perceive things differently."

"What do you mean?" Asked Harry uneasy.

Mel stood up and put a hand on his shoulder, it was the first time in weeks that didn't feel awkward to have contact with him.

"It means we know nothing... but we'll figure it out."

Next Chapter —>

Taglist.

@tiphareth2018 @vampiregirl1797 @siriuslysirius1107 @celestialhayi @omiwashere

#twoidiots writing #harry potter fanfiction #Harry Potter #harry potter xoc #harry potter x y/n #harry potter x reader #hermione granger #rubeus hagrid #ron weasley #minerva mcgonagall #draco malfoy #neville longbottom #WITT fic

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aster-wastaken · 5 years

Text

404

Well look what I managed to find through Wikipedia! The old 404 short story Jack Heath wrote to replace the 404 error page.

It can be accessed here: https://web.archive.org/web/20111003161346/http://jackheath.com.au/404

Possibly here: http://jackheath.com.au/404

But definitely here:

404

The requested URL was not found on this server.

'What's a 404 error?' Agent Nine asked, staring at Six's computer screen.

'It's bad,' Six replied. 'It means Lilam gave us the wrong address.'

And we've got less than 15 minutes to find the right one, he thought, looking at his watch.

'I'll try again,' Nine said, hands hovering over the keyboard.

'Don't,' Six advised. 'We're lucky he didn't send us into a trap, like a URL that would send out the detonation signal.'

He pulled out his phone and dialled Kyntak's number. "Kyntak, have you secured the bomb?"

'Yeah, I found it.' Kyntak's voice was muffled by engine noise - he was driving somewhere. 'It was in a shopping centre four kliks from the Deck. Any luck with the disarm code?'

'Negative,' Six said. 'Liamm lied to buy himself some time. What's it look like? Can you defuse it?'

'Not a chance,' Kyntak said. 'Eleven wires, left to right: yellow, blue, yellow, green, two red, blue, three green, and one black. Not a standard configuration. And each wire is encased at both ends in a 22cm iron cube, rigged to blow if you try to open it. Without the remote disarm code, only one guy can disarm this. The guy who built it.'

Lilam, Six thought. No chance. He'd never tell anyone how to dismantle one of his bombs. Six shoved open the office door and walked into the corridor. 'Can you take it somewhere where it won't hurt anybody?'

'ChaoSonic officials have been evacuated out of the area surrounding the shopping centre. Ten klik radius.'

Six gritted his teeth. 'Which means, ChaoSonic has established a perimeter.'

'Right,' Kyntak said. 'They don't want the bomb to leave the area they've already evacuated, or it could hurt someone they actually give a crap about. Someone other than us, and the sixty or seventy thousand people still in the hot zone.'

'And there's nowhere in that zone we could have a safe detonation?'

'Are you kidding? There are people everywhere, Six. It's pandemonium out here.'

'Can you seal it in something?' Six asked, getting desparate. 'Something that could contain the explosion?'

'The core is made of cyclotrimethylene trinitramine, usually called RDX. The blast will penetrate steel of any thickness up to three metres. I'm open to suggestions.'

Six closed his eyes. Can't disarm it, can't contain it, can't get rid of it, can't let it explode. There seemed to be no way out.

He opened his eyes. 'You're mobile, right?'

'I've got a car, yeah. But I can't get past the roadblocks.'

'You don't have to,' Six said. 'I've got an idea.' He pushed the button for the lift.

It was just before 2 pm, so cell block 72-C was brightly lit. The lighting conditions always mimicked those outside, with a gradually building "sunrise" and a slow, dimming "sunset". This was so the prisoners didn't become disoriented and lose track of time.

Years ago, each cell wall had been adorned with its own clock. But the clocks were frequently smashed by some of the inmates. Other prisoners became hypnotised by them, watching the seconds click away instead of eating or sleeping. And still others complained that the ticking was keeping them awake at night, even though the clocks were completely silent.

Apparently the inmates were willing to measure their imprisonment in days - but seeing each individual second of their lives disappear was too much for them.

The prisoners talked to Agent Six as he walked down the corridor, some whispering, some shouting. He didn't listen. Only six minutes until the bomb went off.

The interrogation room was at the end of the hall, behind a giant chrome door with a small keypad. There was a steel box on the floor. This was where Six was supposed to dump probited items - any phones or radios, anything sharp that could be used as a weapon, anything magnetic or electrical that could be used to hack the electronic locking system. But today there wasn't time. Six punched in the combination, and the door slid aside.

The man inside was chained to a metal chair by both wrists and both ankles. A clamp around his neck tethered him to the wall, to stop him from moving the chair too far. Six walked in, put his briefcase down on the table, and shut the door behind him. It locked itself with a muffled clank.

'If it isn't my teenage arresting officer,' Lilam said. His lips slid back, revealing yellowed teeth. 'Didn't expect to see you again so soon, Agent Six of Hearts.'

'The URL you gave us didn't work,' Six said. '404 error. You're going to give me the real one immediately, or I promise you, you'll wish you had. Very soon.'

Lilam eyed Six's briefcase. 'What've you got there? Money, to buy me off? A pardon agreement, perhaps?'

'Something that'll make you talk,' Six said, 'if you won't do it willingly. You have fifteen seconds.'

Lilam's smile never wavered. 'Since you took my watch away, I've been sitting here counting seconds,' he said. 'I'm very good at it. Eight thousand, two hundred and sixteen have passed so far. That's almost two hours and seventeen minutes.'

Six said nothing.

'That means there's less than five minutes before my magnificent bomb goes off,' Lilam said. 'Whatever you have in that briefcase, whether it's knives or needles or whips or really sharp rocks, I think I can withstand it for five minutes. Don't you?'

Six said nothing.

'You know what they sometimes call RDX?' Lilam said. 'They call it "cyclonite". That's because - '

'Time's up,' Six said. He drew a pair of nail scissors from his pocket, and placed them on the table next to the briefcase.

Lilam raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. Then Six cracked open the briefcase, and stepped aside.

Lilam craned his neck to see.

His jaw fell open.

Inside the case there was a iron cube, with eleven wires poking out of it. The timer clipped to the face read 04:13. Then 04:12. Then 04:11.

I hope I'm not making a mistake, Six thought.

All the colour had washed out of Lilam's skin. 'What the hell is this?'

'Your bomb, I hope,' Six said. 'Otherwise there are two worthless, deluded psychopaths planting RDX bombs in the bathrooms of shopping centres.'

'Why did you bring it here?' Lilam demanded.

'So you could defuse it,' Six said, pointing at the nail clippers. 'I figured the only life you cared about was your own, therefore this was the best way to get the job done.'

'The whole building will blow! All your own agents will die!'

'All the agents have been evacuuated,' Six said. 'If that bomb goes off, the casualties will be you, me, the other prisoners in the cells, and anyone who happens to be on the street above our heads.' He shrugged. 'Not optimal, but better than a detonation in a shopping centre.'

'I'll kill you,' Liam snarled.

'Technically, yes,' Six said, 'if the bomb goes off. But I don't think it will. I think you're going to do what I want.'

Lilam stared at him for a long time. Then he said, 'No. I won't do a thing to help you.'

'I agree. You'll do it to help yourself.'

'You're making a mistake,' Lilam said. 'You're going to die here.'

'Fine,' Six said. He leaned against the wall. 'I'm ready. Are you?'

The timer read 02:51.

The timer read 02:50.

The timer read 02:49.

Six could see beads of sweat growing on Lilam's brow. His eyes were fixed on the timer, like all those inmates with the clocks in their rooms.

The timer read 02:37.

The timer read 02:36.

Lilam screamed and smashed his forearms against his chair, rattling his chains. He heaved his torso forward, pulling the clamp against his throat and making a roadmap of veins stand out on his forehead.

'Every second you spend doing that is a second you'll never get back,' Six said. 'And you haven't got many to waste.'

Lilam sat back, breathing heavily.

'134 seconds to live,' Six said. 'What would you like to do with them?'

He saw Lilam's eyes flick to the nail-scissors, and back to the bomb.

'Or, you could give me the URL that disarms it,' Six said. 'Then you'd have lots of time. But it's up to you.'

Lilam clenched his fists until his knuckles went white. Then he looked at Six, and said, 'This bomb can't be disarmed. Not after the countdown reaches fifteen minutes.'

He's lying, Six thought. 'Is that so?'

'Yes,' Lilam said. 'You'll have to get it out of here, somewhere where it won't hurt anyone.'

'I don't think so,' Six said. 'I like it right where it is.'

'We'll both die!' Lilam howled.

'Yes.' Six frowned. 'I wonder how I'll spend my last two minutes and five seconds.'

Then he turned and looked at Lilam. 'Maybe I'll break your arm.'

Lilam's eyes widened.

'I'm just wondering what you'd look like with a third elbow, that's all,' Six said. 'You could probably still defuse this one-handed if you had a change of heart. Would you like the break above, or below your real elbow?'

'You'd never go that far,' Lilam said.

'You sure?' Six asked. 'I wouldn't feel bad about it - it's nothing compared to the agony felt by the families of your dead victims, or the pain of the amputees who survived the disasters that you created.'

Lilam said nothing.

The counter read 01:40.

This isn't working, Six thought. He's scared, but not scared enough to defuse the bomb.

Six felt sick at what he was about to do, but he kept his face completely blank. Lives are at stake, he thought. I need to go further.

Six picked up the nail scissors and stared at them thoughtfully.

'It seems a shame to waste these,' he said.

Lilam shrunk back in his chair, more afraid of Six than he had been before.

'I wonder if you could still defuse the bomb with one eye?' Six wondered aloud. 'That is, assuming you have a change of heart after I half-blind you with these.'

A barely audible murmur escaped Lilam's lips. 'No.'

'Would you like to choose which eye?' Six asked.

'No,' Lilam said again.

Six walked around behind him, twirling the scissors on one finger. He put one hand on the top of Lilam's head. 'You sure? I'd want to choose.'

'No, don't do it!' Lilam screamed.

Six moved quickly, violently. Lilam thrashed around in his seat. But Six was only unlocking the clamp on Lilam's throat and the chains on his wrists. The Six put the nail scissors back down on the table, within Lilam's reach.

'If that countdown is still going by the time I get back,' he said, 'I'm going to use the remaining time to cripple you with those scissors. Got it?'

Lilam lunged at Six, teeth first. His ankles were still chained to the chair - maybe he figured he could incapacitate Six and take the key off his body. But Six ducked aside, twisted round and punched him square in the centre of his abdomen. Lilam doubled over. Six pushed him back down into the chair. Lilam was terrified, and in pain, but he didn't appear winded. That was good - Six wasn't sure if Lilam could defuse the bomb if he couldn't breathe.

Six punched in the code on the pad beside the door, careful not to let Lilam see. He walked out, and slid the door closed. Then he sprinted back up the hall and out of the cell block 72-C, towards the security station. He needed to watch the camera feed from the interrogation room.

When he got there, he saw that Lilam hadn't picked up the scissors yet. Six squinted as the grainy light from the television poured over him. Lilam was sitting with his palms flat on the table, on either side of the open briefcase.

Six's heart pounded in his chest. Come on, come on! he thought. Do it. If that bomb goes off . . .

Lilam touched the iron cube - a gentle, stroking motion. Like it was a beloved pet he had to put down. Six couldn't see the countdown, but it was still running in his head. Fifty seconds.

Lilam picked up the scissors. He hesitated.

Six held his breath.

Liam leaned forward, and snipped through the black wire. Then the leftmost green wire. Then, in quick succession, the yellow wire on the right, and the second green from the right. Then he stopped.

Six waited.

Lilam dropped the scissors. He tried to push himself away from the table. As his head turned, Six saw an expression of horror on his face.

The countdown hadn't stopped. Lilam had tried to defuse the bomb, and failed.

The counter hadn't stopped because Six hadn't actually hooked it up to anything. He had barely had time to take down Kyntak's description of the real bomb and find enough scrap metal to make a convincing duplicate, let alone make a working timer as well.

Six ignored Lilam's frenzied thrashing on the screen. The psychopath would believe he was going to die until the counter hit zero, but Six didn't care much. He snapped open his phone. It read no reception.

He ran out of the security station and tried again. The corridor was deserted - the Deck hadn't really been evacuaated, but most of the agents were outside dealing with the panicked crowds.

The call connected. 'Kyntak?'

'No hurry, Six,' Kytank said. 'I'm just clinging to the top of a communications tower with a bomb strapped to my back. I could sit here all day, if it weren't for this darn timer telling me I only have twenty seconds to live.'

'Shut up and listen to me,' Six hissed. 'Wires numbered left to right, cut them in this order. Eleven, black. Four, green. Three, yellow. Nine, green. Repeat that back to me.'

Nothing but dead air on the line. Twelve seconds to go.

'Kyntak!' Six repeated, starting to panic. 'Repeat the instructions!'

'Shut up, Six, I'm doing it!' Kyntak said.

Six heard three clicks as Kyntak cut three wires. 'Nine, green,' Six said again. Five seconds. 'Nine green!'

And then there was a beep as the call was disconnected. Six's phone was no longer recieving any data from Kyntak's handset.

No, Six thought. He felt dizzy. No, no, no!

Then the phone rang. Six jammed it to his ear and demanded, 'Kyntak?'

'Sorry about that,' Kyntak said. 'Part of the communication tower came off in my hand, and I had to put it back. The whole network was probably down for a second.'

A sigh of relief exploded out of Six, and he leaned against the wall. 'You idiot! You scared the crap out of me.'

'Out of you? I was the one who had to climb the tower with the bomb!'

Six started walking back to the interrogation room. 'You don't even want to know what I had to threaten to do to Lilam to get him to defuse the dummy.'

Six could hear the skepticism in Kyntak's voice. 'You didn't say the "third elbow" thing, did you?'

'No,' Six lied. 'I had a whole routine involving nail clippers.' He pushed open the door to the cell block.

'Nail clippers? I'm lucky to be alive.'

'Yes,' Six said as he approached the interrogation room door. 'You are. So a bit of gratitude might not go astray.'

He punched in the code and slid open the door. Then he froze.

Lilam was gone.

The blades of the scissors, no longer attached to each other, were twisted into the lock of one of the ankle chains. The iron cube was now wired to the battery of the counter, making it an electromagnet. It was sitting under the electronic door lock.

Lilam was loose again.

'Kyntak?' Six said. 'Get back to the car. We've still got a bomber to catch.'

#agent six of hearts #six of hearts #kyntak #jack heath #asoh

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thepencilnerd · 6 years

Text

- 𝐒𝐢𝐧𝐤 - 3

➳ Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4

➳ Pairing: Jaebum x Reader

➳ Summary: AU! After taking a gap year from college to pay for your tuition, you felt like your life was finally back on track- until you met him. What happens when life doesn’t go the way you intended it to? What happens when you find out that your anchor is just as broken as you are?

➳ Genre: AU, fluff, angst, friends to lovers

➳ Word Count: 2k

➳ Warnings: Swearing

♪ Paper Love- Allie X

a/n: Masterlist & links to other parts can be found @ my main URL

The first few weeks of the semester were always hectic. From the freshman scattering around campus trying to find the right room to dealing with teachers who refused to budge about grade curves, everything was a flurry of sheer panic or utter insanity. However, that could only be assumed as a given, especially since it was two and a half weeks before finals.

Studying in the library was a mistake, I thought to myself. There were at least a hundred students filed on the first floor and waiting to book empty study rooms, and the librarians were a fraction of a second away from tearing their already-grey hair out.

Nestled on the third floor of the library, it was relatively quiet considering it was reserved for juniors only. I counted about 15 other people sharing the level with me, and I was grateful that I reserved a spot two weeks prior. Any later? Pure chaos would have ensued amongst the hundreds of students who would have surely tried to pay their way onto this floor.

Being one of the few students from a lower-class family in a school of upper-class kids, it wasn’t necessarily easy to find friends around here. It didn’t take a keen eye to see that people categorized you by grade, social class, looks, and scholarship status. Even though the number of scholarship students had increased drastically over the years and snobby students were scattered few and far between grades, the once traditional social caste still existed but was blurred into a smudged line.

That didn’t mean that I had any friends; I was still utterly and completely alone—and I was fine with that.

Skimming over my notes for British literature, my brain felt like it was stuffed to the brim with information that I was definitely going to forget after I graduated. Unable to hunch over my desk for another second, I stretched my arms out and cracked a few knuckles here and there.

The clock read 7:26 p.m., reminding me that I had to leave soon so that I could make it to my evening class. Shaking my head and forcing myself awake, I realized that I hadn’t actually been processing any of what I had crammed in the last five minutes. Huffing in disappointment and slight frustration, I gathered my papers and looked at the juniors who had fallen asleep on their desks, half-dribbling on their notes and struggling to reopen their eyes.

Holding back a small laugh with a muted cough, I jogged down the stairs and out of the library. As soon as I walked outside, a cold gust of air had slapped me across my bare face, making me audibly gasp and jump up and down while exhaling harshly; I made a mental note to myself to wear at least 3 layers and a scarf tomorrow and to maybe throw in a beanie for good measure.

“Shit,” I swore under my breath. It was nearing the middle of November and the weather was already freezing cold, but not cold enough for it to snow, apparently. Stuffing my hands into my pockets, I quietly hexed my English teacher for holding her class in the farthest building across campus and began walking. Shouldn’t it be a crime of humanity to still hold night classes in 40-degree weather?

Just as I was beginning to get warm from my brisk pace, I felt a tug on my hoodie as it was pulled off my head.

“What the fuck?!” I yelped. Startled at the sudden hostile action, I prepared to throw a punch and turned around, until the figure caught my fist.

“Bonjour, mon amour,” Jaebum greeted, expression transitioning into a big smile while still holding my clenched fist. I quickly tore it away from his grasp a little too harshly.

“Sorry. I didn’t—” I apologized before stopping myself and told him off. “Why am I the one apologizing? I thought you were going to mug me! You don’t do that to someone!”

“Should I have literally swept you off of your feet then, Y/N?” Jaebum chuckled, my name rolling off of his tongue ever-so-smoothly as he flashed his immaculate smile.

Goddamn him and his perfect pearly white teeth.

Scoffing at his impish nature, I wondered why he was suddenly pretending to be best friends with me.

“You’re going to English, right?” he asked out of the blue. “What a coincidence; I was just walking there too.”

“You take evening classes, too?” I asked reflexively.

The edges of his mouth curled into a grin as he nodded. “What do you think I was doing out on the field that night?”

I simply shrugged. “Not my business or my problem.” Ignoring my response as if he hadn’t even asked the question, he lowered his head so that he was eye-level with me.

“Your lips are purple—” he squinted, trying to get a better view in the dim lighting. “Want me to warm them up for you?”

Ignoring his predictable nature, I turned away and tried to resume my way to class. I say ‘try’ because as soon as I shifted my shoulders, Jaebum slung his arm over my shoulders and pulled me closer to him, then proceeded to walk and drag me alongside him like dead weight.

I stayed behind him for a split second and took the opportunity to duck under his arm, effectively releasing me from his hold. “Listen—”

He raised an eyebrow, his arm motionless as it lay frozen in the same position it was when it was slung over my shoulders.

“I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing, but I told you—I’m not messing around, and I have no interest in messing around. I’m flattered, really, but you’ll have better luck if you go find some other girl to bother.” Putting my hoodie back on and balling my fists into my pockets, I resumed my pace.

Jaebum was able to trail quickly behind me, however, his long legs and tall frame giving him an advantage. “Why do you assume that I’m just talking to you to get into your pants?” he asked, voice now coated with a serious tone.

I sighed and stood still. “Honest answer or the one that’ll make you feel better?”

“Honest answer,” he replied immediately, his eyes unwavering and staring directly into mine.

Feeling slightly intimidated by his stare, I glanced down at my feet before meeting his gaze again, which had still not left mine. “Okay. I think you’re a player," I stated bluntly.

“You’re attractive, seem pretty popular, and you have the whole ‘bad boy’ vibe every girl in school just drools at. You have no idea who I am, let alone what kind of person I am, and you probably singled me out from a group of other mildly attractive girls because I’m the only one you haven’t slept with yet, right?”

His expression remained the same, which made me cock my head in confusion. Normally when I used this line on other assholes who wouldn’t back off, they’d scurry away like rats, then try to defend their actions with a tornado of words and excuses that didn’t mean anything; because they never did.

We stared at each other for a few more seconds before his voice broke the silence.

“If I defended myself and said that you had it all wrong, you’d probably think even less of me and pair me with the other assholes you’ve met, right?” he asked.

Relaxing my stern face at his change of demeanor and at the fact that he had quite literally read my mind, I nodded slightly.

“Then I’ll be honest too—” he began. “Yes, I’m aware that I’m considered attractive and therefore could be classified as a player. No, I’m not popular, and the whole ‘bad boy’ vibe you say that I have? I get that a lot. I know who you are, but you’re right when you say that I have no idea what kind of person you are, and I singled you out of a group of other people that I found particularly interesting. That group currently consists of one single person—which would be you.”

I couldn’t speak. The only thing that occupied my mind was how exposed I felt. It felt like someone had read my diary and publicized all of the pages onto magazines and newspapers.

“Why me?” I somehow managed to find words that mildly fit the given situation.

“Because you’re the first person I’ve ever met that always leaves me guessing,” Jaebum responded instantly again, shaking my intuition once more. Up until this point, I had never met anyone as honest as him, let alone this open in the first few minutes of conversation and couple introductory phrases.

“You being gone for a year made me realize that—as cheesy and disgustingly overused this is—you’re really not like the other girls I’ve had the complete displeasure of meeting,” he continued. “You’re not fake, you don’t try hard to be anything or anyone other than yourself, and above all of that, you despise the people who fall into that category.”

My heart began to beat faster. The more words he spoke, the more vulnerable I began to feel. How did some stranger know me better than my own parents?

“What do you want from me, Jaebum?” At this point, my own honesty was scaring me. “We don’t know each other and we’re not friends. We’ve never formally spoken to each other except once in freshman year, and I’m pretty sure if you knew who I was, you’d want absolutely nothing to do with me, so why are you interested all of a sudden? What do you want?”

Jaebum’s expression suddenly changed. His eyebrows that were knitted in a tense frown earlier had now relaxed.

He had me figured out.

“Give me six months.”

I frowned, taken aback at the sudden time frame he blurted out. “What?”

“There are only six more months left in the semester, so give me until then. Give me four months to prove to you that I’m not a player or an asshole who’s messing around. To prove to you that I want to know you for who you are, not to just get into your pants. Four months for us to get to know each other and to show you that we’re exactly alike, even more so than you try to trick yourself into thinking that we’re not.”

My face remained unchanged until it broke into a scoff. “You’re joking, right? Do you realize how stupid—”

“If your opinion of me hasn’t changed by then, I’ll leave you alone,” he cut off. “We’re juniors. You can forget anything and everything that has to do with me, and you can even hate me for all I care but give me a chance.”

“You haven’t answered my question, but here’s another one,” I chuckled dryly. “Why should I give you a chance?”

This time, he paused before replying. “Because I think we’d be good friends. People tell me that I have a habit of shutting them out because I don’t want to get hurt, but that’s not really the case."

Feeling my shoulders tense and throat close up at the sentence, I didn’t dare move.

Don’t say what I think you’re going to say.

“I do it because I don’t want to hurt them,” he shrugged matter-of-factly. “Something about you makes me think you feel the same way. Am I wrong?”

“What are you, a psychic or something?” I muttered while looking at the ground.

“Please give me a chance,” he pleaded, ignoring my redundant question because he probably knew it wasn’t directed towards him.

Jaebum was right—he was different. I wasn’t entirely sure if he was completely different, but he was somehow. What did I have to lose in this bet? Feelings? Didn’t have any of those. Time? It’d be his to lose. Patience? I had plenty. It’s not like he had any capability of ‘fixing’ me, so I was up to the challenge.

I let out another nasal scoff before locking eyes with him and answering. “Good luck.”

His eyes suddenly lit up at my comment, but I dismissed his beaming smile before strolling away. “That wasn’t a no, right?” he shouted, barely audible as he was now far behind me.

“I do it because I don’t want to hurt them.”

“Give me a chance.”

“Good luck.”

The words continued to echo loud and clear in my head.

You’re going to need it.

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thederivativeofrad · 6 years

Text

Update

It’s that time of year when the new years thing happens and I make a post that has something to do with either what happened or what I want to happen and honestly I don’t know if I have the energy for it

It’s really surreal to think that some of you won’t have your blags anymore after whenever that drop date is. There will be writings lost to the void, a lot of... meaning just kind of snuffed out, and I couldn’t really have anticipated that. I was worried that mine would be gone, but I don’t believe that will be the case. I’m pretty sure hers will be, though, and even though I haven’t looked at it in two months and hardly at all before that back to July, I can’t help but be pained by the realisation that soon it might just not be there anymore. It’s nice to have that ability to look for a moment and go “ah, you’re still here”, but now that’s being taken away, and it’s not even by the choice of the author.

That sounds awfully dramatic for a blag being erased, but it’s more than just a blag I suppose. I have a lot of important writings here about college politics, about drugs, rambling about how lightsabers work and if computers can think, and I think I’d be pretty devastated to attempt to log in here again after however long I go without looking only to find it just... wasn’t there anymore.

There’s a reason why I just kind of stopped using the site rather than deactivating. It’s an archive, as well as somewhere to kind of peek back at, somewhere to put an update here and there or poke around and see if I can give myself an existential crisis by digging too far back into the personal tags. Albums are still alive here, little jokes that grew into whole developments, a large digital footprint of myself and friends and all the trends we were a part of. It’s a bit like losing family photos in a fire, flood, or to a strange person who comes over to party and steals the photos to put in a personal collection in a secret room off his room. There wasn’t much current for me here any longer, but... there [is] plenty to look back at, or to check in on to see if it’s still moving, and I think the sentiment of that is very powerful and is making me very ramble-prone.

There are some blags that I just like knowing they still exist, that something will pop up once in a great while, that they still exist in a friendly way, and now, soon, they may not be here any longer. There are some blags that put out little things that are important to people who mean a lot to me, and those may soon be gone, as well. It’s just difficult to come to terms with, and even more difficult to tell what sort of impact it may have. Maybe something good comes of the purge, maybe nothing changes [for me] at all. It’s something to ponder nonetheless, especially as I look recently at some URLs frozen in time, unflinching, unsuspecting, unafraid. All qualities I want but know better than to wish for, because what’s a life without that little buzz of stress and adventure? I just wish there was less of it from time to time--much different than having it all taken away.

So there’s that...

And then there’s life stuffs.

For better or worse, no matter how much I wanted to, I didn’t give up on my secondary education, yet. I joined the CIS department board for the community college I’m currently attending and helped with a partnership between our college and a four-year university that has a degree program that I was thinking about doing about five or six years ago. Computer security and forensics is one of three majors available to our students in our program, two of those majors (aforementioned included) can be taken on-site rather than having to travel to the university. This development has cancelled my plan for a break between my Associate’s and Bachelor’s, but it’ll only be... sigh... it’ll only be one(?) extra year, supposedly, so I guess it’s worth it. See “so, this college thing” for the roots of my scepticism about this whole system. I guess I’m a part of the system, now. I guess I literally made this for myself.

Academia is hell; what’s new?

I’ve been at my place of work for just a couple weeks over a year. I love my job as a whole, but things are not ideal.

Y’see, I work in the IT department, under IT managers. I work for the surgery department, alongside surgery managers. I really despise my team, my direct coworkers, the people I’m supposed to be able to count on--the rest of the deskside team. Slackers, painfully inefficient and unobservant, power hungry, whiny, back stabbing; they’re those little goblins that computer people turn into when they develop a complex, when they’re so full of themselves or so apathetic about what they do that they are not only arrogant, but horrifically lazy. My manager and coordinators aren’t any better. I’m convinced the coordinators are called that as some sick joke that I’m not in on, as they do very little coordinating at all. I’m not sure they know how to coordinate, because most of the plans they put together fall through very rapidly due to poor planning or no follow through. They’re worse together, they somehow become so much worse. Exception to that? One of them is a buffer, likes to keep the peace. The other is a hothead, and he’s shown me that side of himself before. That went straight to the manager after I cried about it and was convinced by one or two of my worth-something coworkers to talk to her. That’s when I first began to notice she does nothing but placate. She lies and panders and says just about anything to everyone to make it look like she’s doing something, like she’s worth something, like her department is excelling and deserves more.

It doesn’t.

One good thing about her is that she helped me to realise that I do that, too. That perspective and some other relevant thoughts running through my head around the same time brought that picture together for me. The last month I’ve been actively trying to do better with that. I think I’m beginning to make progress breaking that habit of trying not to disappoint people by making promises and giving time estimates that are unlikely if not impossible to fulfil. What a weird way to spell that...

The department I work for is filled with new friends. I know so many people, even by name. Someone as horrible with names as me actually recognising people, remembering things about them, holding conversation, it’s brilliant! It makes me feel like I belong there. They feel like family, I feel like a part of their team. I am a part of their team. I’m the IT guy there, if they need anything worked on they know they can count on me to be right there and take care of it effectively, even if it’s not our department’s equipment. If I’m comfortable with it at first glance I’ll try at it, because there’s a person on the table right now and we don’t have the sort of time to wait for biomed or Stryker or M.E. or someone on a different team in IT to come in and fix the issue. I have tools, I have knowledge, I don’t give a fuck what my coordinator says is and isn’t my job. The other teams are okay with me punching cables, moving connections in the closets, modifying group policy, playing with AV equipment, and resetting oxygen monitors, Spiro devices, x-ray imaging devices, and EKGs. I have access to applications I never knew existed because other teams recognised that I could do those things, saving them a trip not only downtown into the hospital, but into a sterile area where they’d need to be wearing special attire. Let me stroke my ego: I am a goddamn miracle worker.

I am an ambassador. I am not the leader of my department, but I speak with leaders of other departments as a present part of my own. I have knowledge they don’t, I have something that they need, and for that they place me on-par with them. I smile so much walking down the manager hallway no matter how I’m actually feeling and it brightens their day. I know everyone’s personalities well enough to make the right jokes and ask about the right things, to be careful with Dan because this is the time of year he gets depressed because he misses his family, to avoid talking about certain things with Kerry because she raised family near Hopkins and she knows some people I’ve been in awkward situations with, to come to Jenny with all the juicy gossip from surgery, my life, or the office, and to not send Jess hearts on Skype because she just finds it weird. I have so many phone numbers, they ask me so many questions, they trust me so much it just feels good to be so open with people and to be able to help them and provide a necessary service without them having to be worried about how long they’re going to wait. I love my job. I love that I get to work with my hands, that I get to work with such amazing people, that I get to go into rooms where people are getting cut open, where just the most unimaginable procedures take place with such a wide array of instruments that I get to watch be cleaned and repackaged for use. I get to see every step of a surgery from check in to PACU, and all the behind the scenes parts that patients wouldn’t even think of on their own. Every call is exhilarating, a positive stress, I feel so comfortable in a room shoved with millions of dollars in equipment and random tables topped with liner you can’t touch or you botch it all. It’s a time trial on a rope course with a hostage in the middle. It adds another layer to the challenge. It keeps me utterly focused out of necessity.

I even have my own locker. Not even Damon had a locker. I didn’t even ask for it. People have handshakes with me in the hallway. They all know my name, they all know I’m someone they can trust, that I’m someone that can help them. It’s absolutely glorious. It makes me proud to be a part of the surgery department, to be a staple to them, to be someone they are legitimately worried about not being there for a week because the department I’m under is forcing me to cross train at a location that doesn’t need any help and won’t ever need more than the people who are trained to go there already in order to take care of it. Brian and I do BSH. Nolan and James to BLH. D, Sujith, and Andrew do BMH. Mike and Jim do BBC. There is no need for any more trained techs off main campus. There never will be a need until one person quits, moves up, or dies and that position needs to be refilled. Then we train one more and we call it a day. We shouldn’t waste time and money sending every tech to every other location just so they can stick their hands under their butts for five full workdays while they aren’t at a location long enough to learn people places and things but are there long enough to realise that they’re there for no reason because everything is already handled just fine by one person and the backup person would be just fine on their own since they were cross trained using a much more thorough process. I feel like that sentence was never going to stop.

Regardless of the positives and negatives, I don’t plan on staying here. After my education is finished I’ll open myself back up to possibilities of finding work elsewhere. I already get job offers, but I’m not uprooting myself again until I finish what I’ve started/continued here. It won’t be that much longer until I have what I’ve been trying to get for twenty years or I surrender to the fact that I’m just not cut out for college. Overall, career-wise, I’m not happy being here permanently, I have no interest in moving up the chain. I’d rather move on.

So here I suppose I can talk about the new years thing since that is what this was supposed to be about, anyway. It’s pretty ironic that the first year I’m actually able to have a place to myself and would be able to be with someone special to kiss at midnight that the only person I’d care to do that with won’t be there. I’ll probably be asleep, anyway, as I work holidays--the ORs are closed so I can pop in and out of them as I please without interrupting cases. I take those opportunities to update the place. They’re the only days I can actually plan work projects.

I have my love-hate relationship with school, my love-hate relationship with work, now I need a bit more time working out the love-hate relationship with myself. I’ve been doing well with most things. I wake up at 0400, listen to the news for about 15 minutes while I am rudely shoved awake by the fact that all of the other countries in the Paris Agreement mk 2 signed it besides guess who, I do some stretches and I hop in the shower. I prep myself for the day in various ways, take some time to read or watch a video, finish up homework or write crap like this in a more private manor, and I get to work around 0600 after an only approximately 10 minute commute.

Moving was only lovely for half as many reasons as it was going to be in my head, but that half has been more than worth it. I’ve been getting a good amount of sleep despite waking up so early, I drink plenty of water (not that I’ve ever had an issue with that), I remember to eat... sometimes... okay that one is kind of a work in progress. My finances are stable, and in six months I’ve raised my credit score from 560 to 770, which is basically from “I don’t even know if I can rent a decent apartment if they’re going to run a credit check” to “yeah you’re sending me offers in the mail because I can pick whichever one I want and you’d be lucky to have me”. I’m where I wanted to be on an individual financial basis by the time I moved out, I’m just occasionally sorry I couldn’t get there sooner.

Things are much better here, it’s just lonely.

So the goal for whatever year is coming up is to focus on keeping my environment positive and to keep up and improve the work I’m attempting to do on myself, whatever that means. It probably means finding ways to make me not want to hurt myself over homework, remembering to eat semi-regularly, and learning. Really just learning.

Here goes nothing:

I want to learn more about myself, what I like and don’t like, and how to continue this positive change into someone that I’m proud of so that I won’t feel like people are lying to me when they say they’re proud of me, too.

I want to compliment myself without feeling conceited.

I want to convince myself that this impostor syndrome is only a collection of intrusive thoughts.

I want to be how my families make me feel.

I want to be the best me that I can be when it’s time for me to move on, however many seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years out that is.

I want to know that we all need room to grow, and that forcing my help onto others, by putting everything into them that I can to keep them comfortable with where they are instead of allowing them to grow is not helpful.

I want to see that we all came from somewhere different, and that we all need to figure things out in different ways that can’t be forced, but can be guided subtly, all from love, never from manipulation.

I want to remember that we all can take all the time we need, and that sometimes we need longer than we thought.

So let’s do a silly little thing: let’s help ourselves to remember those things by writing them down somewhere safe, somewhere personal like a blag, somewhere that your digital footprint lives on and can be theoretically investigated by anyone. Let’s see if it stands the test of time, or if it gets wiped away like marked profiles on a shitty blue website.

Happy New Year.

#personal #here comes 2019 #let's see how things get turned around this time

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douchebagbrainwaves · 3 years

Text

FIVE QUESTIONS ABOUT LANGUAGE DESIGN AND BAD ECONOMY

But working on this is not a win, in the sense that your body is happier during a long run than sitting on a sofa eating doughnuts. And they have leverage in that their decisions set the whole company moving in one direction or another. One is that you shouldn't build object-oriented programming in too deeply. What good will more code do you when you're out of business. The larger a group, the closer its average member will be to the average for the population as a whole must be giving people something they want, the more different it gets. A physicist friend recently told me half his department was on Prozac.1 It was no coincidence that the great industrialists of the nineteenth century had so little formal education. Many startups go through a point a few months before they die where although they have a significant amount of money in one family's bank account, or the market wasn't ready yet, b the founders solved the wrong problem. Programming languages are how people talk to computers.

With server-based apps get released as a series of small changes. The ball you need to give someone a present and don't have any money, you don't usually have to invent anything.2 Life in a zoo is easier, but it could not have grown so big so fast. It's very dangerous to morale to start to depend on deals closing, not just because she's shy that she hates bragging. In Web-based software you can use any language you want, there is nothing in spam-of-the-envelope calculations, this one has a high average outcome. A company big enough to acquire startups will be big enough to acquire startups will be big enough to acquire startups will be big enough to acquire startups will be big enough to be fairly conservative, and within the company the people in the mailroom or the personnel department work at one remove from the actual making of stuff. I think you should make users the test, just as we can become smarter, just as a goalkeeper who prevents the other team from scoring is considered to have played a perfect game. Her immense data set and x-ray vision for character.3 And historically the number of new startups being founded in 2003.

For individuals the upshot is the same: aim small. A big company is probably getting a bad deal, because his performance is dragged down by the overall lower performance of the algorithm described in A Plan for Spam I hadn't had any, and I completely agree with him. I would really love to do, at least in our own minds, we have to remember that it's an admirable thing to write great programs, even when this work doesn't translate easily into the conventional intellectual currency of research papers. It could only spread to places that already had a vigorous middle class. A big company is like high fructose corn syrup, and hydrogenated vegetable oil.4 Though the immediate cause of death in a startup tends to be one. In practice, it seemed inevitable that I would eventually have to move from filtering based on single words to an approach like this. But it could be that a lot of new startups being founded in 2003. Near the top is the company run by techno-weenies who are obsessed with solving interesting technical problems, instead of making users happy.

As with the original industrial revolution, some societies are going to be hard to duplicate. Letters, digits, dashes, apostrophes, and dollar signs are constituent characters. Letters, digits, dashes, apostrophes, and dollar signs are constituent characters, and everything else is collapsing around you, having just ten users who love you will keep you going. Here are some of the effect of first class functions, you can be wise without being very wise, you can pick a time when you're not in the middle of Antarctica, where there is nothing in spam-of-the-future, because this is what I expect spam to evolve into: some completely neutral text followed by a url. But ambitious programmers are better off doing their own thing and failing than going to work at a big company, then a lot of maximally interesting tokens, meaning those with probabilities far from. It will always suck to work for some existing company. Ditto at the other end of the spectrum, we'd be the first to see signs of a separation between founders and investors in the Valley. In the earliest stages of a startup, of course.

Watching employees get transformed into founders makes it clear that the difference between the two. Jessica was so important to YC, why don't more people do it? Maybe it's because you haven't made what they want.5 75%. 88, just under the threshold of. That way we can avoid applying rules and standards to intelligence that are really meant for wisdom. Except instead of being at the mercy of investors. If anything, it's more like the small man of Confucius's day, always one bad harvest or ruler away from starvation. And the culture she defined was one of those that exploit an insecure cgi script to send mail to third parties. And yet if you analyzed the contents of the average grocery store you'd probably find these four ingredients accounted for most of the things they're doing is breaking up and misspelling words to prevent filters from recognizing them. For example, though the stock market crash does seem to have regarded wisdom, learning, and intelligence largely from cultivating them. We are all richer for knowing about penicillin, because we're less likely to die from infections.

With server-based. That last sentence is the fatal one.6 If you were dropped at a random point in America today, nearly all the food around you would be bad for you. I think the single biggest problem afflicting large companies is the difficulty of assigning a value to each person's work. If you're not allowed to implement new ideas, you stop having them. If you're in a job that feels safe, you are thereby fairly close to measuring the contributions of individual employees. But large organizations will probably never again play the leading role they did up till the last quarter of the twentieth century.7 When startups came back into fashion, around 2005, investors were starting to hear about byte code, which implies to me at least that if we find more than 15 tokens that only occur in one corpus or the other, we ought to give priority to the ones that occur a lot. Two of the four spams I missed got through because they happened to use words that occur often in my legitimate email. Just write whatever you want, so if there is no way to get rich by creating wealth, as a species, is that you can do whatever he wants. When there is a natural fit between smallness and solving hard problems.

These techniques are mostly orthogonal to Bill's; an optimal solution might incorporate both. Salesmen work alone.8 Partly because I'm a writer, and writers always get disproportionate attention.9 But working on this is not an irrational fear: it really is hard to bear. And in this economy I bet they got a good deal on it.10 If you go to a new set of buildings, and do things that they think aren't good for you. Then at least you can give back the money you have left, and save every penny of your salary. So let me tell you a little about Jessica.11 Your boss is just the intermediate stage—just a shorthand—for whatever people want. A morale boost on that scale is very valuable in a startup tends to be running out of money, and now they'd have to postpone that. Usually a startup is, economically: a way of saying, I want to work a lot harder, and get paid for it.

Notes

That was a kid who had died decades ago. If an investor I don't like content is the accumulator generator benchmark are collected together on their utility function for money. In desperation people reach for the fences in our case, 20th century was also the golden age of economic inequality was really only useful for one another indirectly through the window for years while they may introduce startups they like to cluster together as much as Drew Houston needed Dropbox, or Seattle, consider moving.

When the Air Hits Your Brain, neurosurgeon Frank Vertosick recounts a conversation—maybe not linearly, but nothing else: no friends, TV, go talk to mediocre ones. If early abstract paintings seem more interesting than later ones, and in a startup, but I took so long. And while we might think it was the least VC-like. SpamCop—A Spam Classification Organization Program.

But people like numbers. That makes some rich people move, and then using growth rate has to work for startups to be evidence of a stock is its future earnings, you create wealth with no environmental cost.

For example, the angel round just happened, the apparent misdeeds of corp dev people are trying to decide whether to go all the red counties. It's a lot heavier. I've been told that Microsoft discourages employees from contributing to open-source projects, even if we wanted to than because they actually do, but when people make investment decisions well when they talk about distribution of income, which merchants used to be able to claim retroactively I said yes.

I had a killed portraiture as a constituency. The Nineteenth-Century History of English at Indiana University Publications. This is not to need to go sell the bad groups and they unanimously said yes. Most unusual ambitions fail, most of them had been a good way to explain how you'd figure out what the US is partly a reaction to drugs.

Which is probably 99% cooperation. I said yes. In desperation people reach for the same way a restaurant is constrained in a journal. An accountant might say that YC's most successful ones.

Joe thinks one of them, would be much bigger news, in the body or header lines other than those I mark. For example, the same investor to invest at any valuation the founders don't have to talk about aspects of the next stage tend to become dictator and intimidate the NBA into letting you write has a word meaning how one feels when things are going well, but most neighborhoods successfully resisted them. Which is probably a mistake to believe is that their experience so far the only way to tell how serious potential investors and they begin by having an associate.

Globally the trend has been rewritten to suit present fashions.

See Greenspun's Tenth Rule.

Bill Yerazunis. This was made a million dollars out of a social network for x. If you wanted to invest at any valuation the founders of Hewlett Packard said it first, and it has about the smaller investments you raise them.

The undergraduate curriculum or trivium whence trivial consisted of three stakes.

#automatically generated text #Markov chains #Paul Graham #Python #Patrick Mooney #zoo #NBA #solution #goalkeeper #Your #person #vision #remove #number

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techcrunchappcom · 4 years

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New Post has been published on https://techcrunchapp.com/kelechi-iheanacho-on-battle-for-champions-league-qualification-football-news/

Kelechi Iheanacho on battle for Champions League qualification | Football News

“The race is on.” Kelechi Iheanacho coolly throws down the gauntlet with Manchester United for a top-four finish. “Anyone can get into the top four, anyone can get into the top six.”

In an exclusive interview with Sky Sports, the Leicester forward expressed his admiration for United’s current form – which has seen the Foxes’ eight-point lead slashed to one since the restart.

“Bruno [Fernandes] is a top player. They’ve got Marcus Rashford and Paul Pogba back in the team now. They’re flying. But that’s not what we need to worry about. We just need to focus on our games.”

Before lockdown, the Foxes were cruising to a third-place finish – guaranteeing Champions League football next season. But with just one win from five games since the restart, coupled with Chelsea and Manchester United finding their groove, the race for Europe looks set to go to the wire.

A spate of injuries to key players James Maddison, Ben Chilwell and Ricardo haven’t helped the cause. “Madders [Maddison], Chilly [Chilwell] and Ricardo are fantastic players. They have a big impact in the team. I love playing with them.

“But everyone can fill the gaps as well. Everyone knows what to do when you’re taking someone’s place.”

A fifth-place finish might be enough for Champions League qualification – if Manchester City’s ban from the competition is upheld and their appeal is unsuccessful – but Iheanacho clearly believes Leicester are masters of their own destiny. “I don’t know what’s going on with that but we’re just focusing on our games.”

And that fate could well be sealed on the final day when Leicester host United at the King Power.

Leicester remaining fixtures

Home Away Date Bournemouth Leicester 12/07 Leicester Sheffield Utd 16/07 Tottenham Leicester 19/07 Leicester Man Utd 26/07

The Nigeria international missed out on the Foxes’ maiden journey in Europe following their against-the-odds title win in 2015/16, when they lost to Atletico Madrid in the quarter-finals.

He’s itching to compete among Europe’s elite again – more than three years after his last appearance in the competition with Manchester City. “We’ve worked really hard to get to this stage, so it would really be a dream.”

Heady youth

Iheanacho had the Midas touch in his first season at Man City

As a 19-year-old at Manchester City, Iheanacho had the best goals-to-minutes ratio of any player in Premier League history and he cherishes those heady early days.

“My Premier League debut was against Watford in 2015. I got a few minutes or so. It was truly heart-warming. So nice, being young and then scoring goals.

“There are young players doing well now and I’m happy for them, like Phil Foden and Mason Greenwood. You never know how it really feels until you start getting older and understand more.”

Game time was hard to come by at City and the lure of regular starts led to his £25m move to Leicester in 2017. “Everybody wants to play. No one wants to sit on the bench.”

Back from the wilderness

Iheanacho celebrates with James Maddison after scoring Leicester’s winner against Everton

But regular football has come in fits and starts at Leicester. Over the past three seasons, he hasn’t surpassed 1,000 league minutes – but that could change this campaign with 827 on the clock and four games to play.

This season, he made his first league appearance against Everton in December – four months into the campaign – and he seized that opportunity with a match-winning goal and assist. He’s been a mainstay in the team since.

The appreciation of that pivotal performance is clear to see. “First and foremost: that’s a moment that will be in my head for a long time.”

Just one week after that game, he replicated the return in a 4-1 win at Aston Villa, teeing up Jamie Vardy’s opener before doubling the Foxes’ lead.

But then the goals dried up. When lockdown paused the season, he was goalless in the Premier League this calendar year, despite a January purple patch in front of goal in domestic cups. The enforced break allowed him to take stock.

First and foremost: that’s a moment that will be in my head for a long time.

Iheanacho on his goal and assist against Everton in December

“We’ve been training at home and the coaches have been giving us work to do. It’s gone well. I was just keeping fit and training every day.” In moments of downtime, he’d watch movies or play FIFA. “I like cooking as well and spicy African dishes have been on the menu,” he adds.

The break certainly served him well. Shortly after the restart, he broke his 2020 league duck in the 2-1 defeat to Everton this month and scored again in a 3-0 win over Crystal Palace just three days later. And there’s been a positional tweak on the pitch, too.

Leicester abated one of their top-four rivals, Arsenal, on Tuesday – capitalising on Eddie Nketiah’s dismissal to salvage a 1-1 draw at the Emirates. In that game, Iheanacho started on the right of a front three, in a 3-4-3 formation – a position he’s happy to occupy in the future.

“It’s not the first time I’ve started there. It’s not really right wing. It’s two strikers and one behind me and Jamie [Vardy]. Sometimes I drift off to the right, so I’m more inside.

“Playing with Jamie is an honour. He’s a top finisher, so whenever he plays and scores he inspires me, because I want to repeat that.”

So does he fancy emulating the likes of Mohamed Salah in that right-sided role? “Mo Salah is Mo Salah!” he jokes. “If I find myself in that position, I’ll just crack on. We just need to play according to the plans.”

Kelechi Iheanacho frequently drifts to the right channel

For now, Iheanacho is focused on returning to winning ways and maintaining his run of form, and that starts with their trip to the Vitality Stadium this Sunday, live on Sky Sports from 6.30pm.

B’mouth vs Leicester

July 12, 2020, 6:30pm

Live on

“I’m happy here. Everyone at the club has been fantastic. I’m scoring goals, have a good family, good team-mates.

“We want to win every game. We just keep working. We’re getting ready to go there. They did well in the last game against Tottenham, so we just to be focused, do our job and get the points we need.”

Three of a Kind for Liverpool?

Do not miss your chance to land the £250,000 jackpot for a sixth time this season on Saturday. Play for free, entries by 3pm.

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chiefmilesobrien · 7 years

Text

HAPPY FRIENDAVERSARY

@kiradax It’s our five year friendaversary today! (As far as i can tell…) it’s five years since we started talking in the very very awkward way of me telling you i loved your blog. Since then, we’ve been through ups and downs, so many different urls, we’ve met - TWICE - and I truly can’t imagine my life without you. So, instead of just sharing awkward pictures of us (right now), I thought I would make some things. However, then things got out of hand, so I can only promise this one on time, the others might be a little later, but I’m working on them.

And now I present - Another story of Lt Commander Tobie Celes and Lt Commander Bethany Corwin of the USS Tesla.

The bridge of the NX-01 was calm and quiet. They had just finished several diplomatic meetings, and were heading to explore a nearby system. Captain Archer sat in his chair in the middle of the bridge looking thoughtful as an alarm broke through the silence.

“Sir, intruder alert on C deck, between the fabrication shop and the computer library,” Lieutenant Malcolm Reed reported, pressing several buttons on his panel.

“Malcolm, aren’t our shields up?” the captain asked.

“Our shields are at maximum sir.”

“Then how did they get in?!”

“I don’t know sir.”

—

Lieutenant Commander Bethany Corwin of the USS Tesla came to on a small bed, underneath another bed, behind glass doors. It was a small area, and nowhere to hide. Immediately, she checked herself over - her uniform was on, but both her phaser and her tricorder were gone from her hip. The last time she could remember, she had been in engineering, purging several of the plasma injectors, while Tobie bugged her about doing a new holo-program they’d found. Something must had gone wrong, but this didn’t look like the medical bay on the Tesla, which meant that something must have gone really, really wrong.

The doors she could see through the glass opened suddenly, and in strode a man. He was wearing a blue suit, with… zippers? At least, that’s what Bethany thought they were called. They had been obsolete for hundreds of years, plus they were generally made out of non-renewable materials, which made them difficult to procure, and basically useless. He had four blocks on the one side of his chest. Maybe this was the program that Tobie had wanted to show her?

“What are you doing aboard my ship?” the man asked, and Bethany looked at him. It was strange, he seemed to be pushing a button in order to talk to her, and they weren’t using forcefields. “I’m sorry?” she said, looking for more information, trying for more time. Her English was rough at best, Federation Standard was much more common, and while it had loan words, it certainly wasn’t English. Besides, everyone used their universal translators nowadays, so her second language learning hadn’t even been that important.

“How did you get in here? We had the sheel soup” That didn’t make sense.

“Sorry?” she tried again, as the man looked more frustrated. “I… don’t understand?”

He walked back to the door, and she couldn’t hear him anymore, but as the doors opened he spoke to one of the men standing outside, who was dressed like him, but with less silver blocks. As he turned, Bethany caught sight of the patch on one side of his uniform. It said “NX-01 Enterprise”. But that couldn’t be true? The NX-01 had been decommissioned for centuries…

But it would explain the uniforms.

—

Lt Commander Tobie Celes had come to next to Commander Corwin, earlier than the human had. They weren’t entirely certain where they were, just that they were still on a ship, and it had many many humans aboard. Also, possibly a part Vulcan, based on the way that the emotions were suppressed slightly. Trying to take stock of where they and their friend had ended up, Tobie stood up. They were in a hallway, very exposed, and it sounded like there were several people who were headed that way. Quickly glancing around for someplace to hide the unconscious human and themselves, they walked slightly down the hall.

“Here!” someone shouted behind them, and they quickly ducked into what appeared to be an engineering hatch. It was obvious that they were no longer on the Tesla.

“Let’s take her to the brig,” another voice came from where their friend had been, and Tobie began to move further into the tunnel. They paused to listen for footsteps, but they all seemed to be heading away from them. This would require some planning.

—

Bethany’s talk with the captain had gone smoother once the translator - Ensign Sato - had arrived. She had used a primitive version of the universal translator, but Bethany had been hesitant to give too much information away. It was obvious that there had been some time travel and the less she had to talk to Temporal Investigations about the better.

Although she was in total awe of Archer - he would found the Federation - she was unimpressed by his intimidation practices. He had even accused her of being a Temporal Agent! Temporal Investigations hadn’t been founded at this point - not even Starfleet existed in the way it did in her time. He’d threatened to throw her out of an airlock, which she’d folded her arms at and then refused to speak anymore, obviously annoying the captain, and his translator. He had left then, while Sato had given her an apologetic look before following her captain.

The door swung open, and Bethany continued to watch her legs swing over the edge of her bed, not interested in speaking to Archer just yet. A quiet hiss sounded as the glass door opened, and Bethany looked up quickly to see Tobie standing there!

“What are you doing here?” she asked astounded, and grateful. Her friend was here and now they could finally figure out what was going on! “This isn’t the holoprogram you wanted to show me, is it?”

Tobie’s mouth twitched into a slight smile. “No, it’s not. We’ve got to move though, I only stunned the guards outside, but I kept it quite low in case they didn’t have a high tolerance.”

Fair enough, Bethany thought, taking her phase pistol and tricorder that her friend handed her. “We’re on the Enterprise - the first one. Archer has been interrogating me trying to figure out who I am. He keeps asking if I’m a temporal agent. What are we going to do?”

Tobie actually grinned this time. “We’re going to fly out of here.”

—

Getting to the launch bay hadn’t been that difficult. It just involved going up one deck, so they’d avoided the turbolifts. They hadn’t even run into anyone on their way there, which Bethany counted as extremely lucky.

“Can you lock off the launch bay?” Tobie asked, Bethany nodded slowly as an alarm suddenly flashed.

“Intruder alert, intruder alert.”

“I guess they figured out we’re not in the brig anymore,” Bethany said, moving to the panel on the floor, looking for the interface she was used to. “This is ancient.They actually have buttons.”

Tobie pulled their phase pistol out of its holster, steadying themselves behind one of the two runabouts.

“Quickly as you can,” they said snarkily, as a locking sound on the main doors echoed in the room.

“It can’t be that hard can it? It’s all ancient tech, it’s sure to be easier than our runabouts,” Tobie yelled over the alarm as one of the upper doors to the slid open. “I thought you’d locked those!”

“Me too!” Bethany replied, frantically pulling the casing off as Tobie began exchanging fire with the security squad that had filtered through the door.

—

“Trip, status report!” Archer barked into the comm on his chair, the alarm blaring in the background.

“Someone’s trying to lock us out of the launch bay, they’ve locked the main doors.”

“Don’t let them!”

“Aye, sir!”

“Reed to Archer.”

“Archer here, tell me what’s happening Lieutenant.”

“It appears that there’s two of them, Captain. The other one has a weapon, but it’s only stunned people so far, sir.”

“Get more of your men down there, now!”

—

“Bethany, tell me you can lock the doors now!” Tobie ducked behind the shuttlepod again.

“Someone’s trying to lock me out. It’s gonna take a couple minutes. If we were on the Tesla it wouldn’t be this difficult, but I’ve got limited options.”

“We don’t have a couple minutes! I’m losing ground here. Retreat to one of the runabouts!”

“Lay down some cover!” Bethany said, ducking low to avoid being seen. This was one advantage to their dark uniforms, she thought, running to Tobie’s side. Taking out their phase pistol, she started laying some cover fire for Tobie to open the door of the shuttlepod. Tobie sprinted in, climbing in, before Bethany dove in behind them, shutting the door and locking it.

“How long can we last in here?” Tobie asked.

“I can probably keep them out for a little longer, and the shuttle should be impervious to their fire, especially if we get the shields up and running,” Bethany responded pulling of the sides, as Tobie went to the controls. “If they get a plasma torch, we’re out of options though.”

Tobie let out a little chuckle. “What’s the likelihood we’ve changed history?”

—

The temporal agents had been holed up in Shuttlepod Two for three hours by the time Archer ordered the senior staff to meet in the back of the bridge.

“Trip, report.”

Commander Tucker stood up from where he was leaning against the wall, pulling up a schematic of the shuttlepod. “Everytime I do something, they seem to be two steps ahead, like they’ve already thought of it. I’ve half a mind to start taking apart everything and see where we stand.”

“So they obviously know our technology pretty well, then?”

“That’s just the thing, Captain, they’re reconfiguring things in ways I’ve never seen before. When I tried to go in through the port side to change the locking guide, they’ve already rerouted it somehow, except the only things that are online for them are life support and shields. They haven’t powered up weapons but I’m not even sure I could find those even if they did.”

“It would be logical to conclude then that they are waiting for us to leave them alone,” T’Pol stated, staring at the schematics that Tucker had put up on the screen. “If they activated the weapons, it would be easy for them to break out, so then we must assume that they are not interested in hurting us.”

“We can’t even get in, now that they’ve got the shields up.”

“What about a stun grenade, Malcolm?” the captain asked.

“Already tried, sir,” the tactical officer said with a sigh. “It had no effect between the shielding and the glass.

Captain, one of them isn’t human. We have no idea how they might react to our weapon fire,” T’Pol said, startling Archer.

“Why didn’t you tell me this before?”

“I was running it through the Vulcan Database. The one who broke the other out- the one you didn’t interrogate - is a Betazoid, a humanoid species from Betazed.”

“I’ve never heard of them,” Trip said.

“Betazed is the opposite direction from the Briar Patch, close to several Andorian colonies, but they do have a special ability. Betazoids are telepaths, they can sense and read minds,” T’Pol said, speaking to the captain.

“So how do we talk to them

“They appear to be eating some of our emergency rations now, sir,” Malcolm reported.

“I want them out.”

—

“It said cheese on it, so I assumed it had to be good!” Tobie said, waving the emergency rations packet around angrily as Bethany looked on in amusement from underneath the dashboard.

“These are ration packs. From 2150 or something. There’s barely any guarantee that they’re edible. At least, that’s what they say. No replicators.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be a history expert?” Tobie asked, “Don’t you have a degree in it or something?”

“You know I don’t! Besides, you’re equally as interested in history, why didn’t you know that?” Bethany responded, putting another two cables in a different place, that then caused some sparks to fly. She pulled them out quickly, frowning.

“Only Betazoid history, you’re the human,” Tobie said, flopping against a wall.

“Well, my interest was never pre-federation. Wanna help me out here? I need you to remove this, which I think is the engine manifold and put it into here.”

“You think? Is there any guarantee this will fly after you’re done?”

“It’s an ancient ship! It’s even older than the old ones we trained on at the academy. It’s configured in a weird way.”

The lights flickered and then came back on as Tobie pulled the indicated cable out.

“That shouldn’t have done that,” Bethany said, concerned. “Check our shields?”

“They’re offline,” Tobie said flatly.

“Well, shit.”

—

“Commander Tucker, the shields appear to be offline.”

“What did you do Malcolm?” Trip asked annoyed.

“Nothing sir, they appear to have done it on their own.”

“I’m on my way. Kelby, Rivers, Walsh, you’re with me!” he said, rushing out of Engineering.

—

“I don’t understand why that would have overloaded the system,” Bethany said, pulling off another panel to get to the mechanism underneath, as Tobie watched the door, hand tight on their phase pistol.

“Uh huh.”

“Well, it shouldn’t have. That should have added additional power to the locking mechanism, but it was being filtered through the -” Bethany stopped and then whirled around to pull off a different plating.

“What did you mess up?” Tobie asked, feeling the guilt their friend was becoming overwhelmed by.

“This runabout wouldn’t have a warp reactor because it doesn’t go above impulse because runabouts weren’t fitted with warp speed until the early part of the 24rd century. And it’s the 22nd century,” Bethany said quietly.

“Uh huh. Okay, well, then, let’s just get ready for the Not-Starfleet people to attempt to get in,” Tobie said, checking through the front window to see where the security people had been. “Also, did you see that the security people are have red on their uniforms, under their shoulders?”

“No,” Bethany said, replacing a couple of the panels, before pulling another off. “I hadn’t paid that much attention, to be honest.”

“Yeah, I remember learning that early Starfleet had command and engineering/security colours mixed up, but i didn’t know it came back this early.”

“Me neither. Archer’s still an asshole though.”

Tobie hummed noncommittally.

—

Hoshi’s translator proved to be incredibly useful, now that they’d been able to get into the shuttlepod’s system and rig it up so that they could hear what the people in the shuttlepod were talking about.

“Look, Vyc’s gonna give us the whole ‘you did the best you could do’ but you know they’re going to be totally disappointed if we don’t at least try to get an autograph of-” the one cut themself off. “Tobie, I hear something.”

“Yeah, they’re about to use plasma torches on the outer hull.”

“Seriously? They couldn’t just leave me to try and put everything into some sort of working order while I fix the shields?” The first prisoner, Bethany, said.

“Nope,” the other one - Tobie’s voice came through and echoed through the launch bay as Rivers started to take some of the plating off of the starboard hull.

“Well, I can’t activate the shields while someone is inside them, so given that they don’t seem likely to leave us alone…” Trip started reaching in, pulling out some wires and detaching a control panel, removing it and placing it carefully on the ground beside him, then turning back to the shuttle pod he saw a pair of blue eyes and then -

“AHHHHH”

A high pitched scream and then a slam echoed between the real panel that had just been slammed back into place and the scream and the slam that came out of the translator.

“What in the hell are you doing?” he wondered out loud as the voices coming from Hoshi’s translator grew louder.

“They are right outside, they’re literally pulling apart their own ship to get to us.”

“Okay, then we’ll just stun them through there.”

“You can’t do that! It’s right by the plasma manifold, if you miss, we could blow up the whole runabout - the whole ship for that matter!”

“Then I won’t miss.”

“Uh uh, nope, I won’t allow it. I’m the engineer here, it’s not happening.”

“Bethany!”

“Lieutenant Commander Celes!”

“Lieutenant Commander Corwin.”

There was silence for a minute, two minutes, and then the panel was slowly taken away with just a quarter inch of space. Malcolm moved forward with his phase pistol ready, but Trip held out a hand.

“She’s right,” he said, “If you aim through there you’re going to blow this whole thing up.”

“Okay,” came from the hole and the translator. “First off, I told you they were listening to us. Secondly, I’m glad to see that you also know your stuff. You mind turning it off? The echo is annoying.”

Trip frowned. “I dunno. Depends on what you’re planning to do with the shuttlepod.”

The other voice came from the hole, and the plating on the inside moved over just slightly so that he could see a pair of dark brown eyes.

“Well, considering you’ve got us trapped in here, mostly just eat your disgusting ration packs.”

The blue eyes rolled up and Malcolm came up next to him.

“You’re trespassing on an exploration vessel from the planet Earth. State your intentions.”

Trip looked at Malcolm, slightly shaking his head.

“Well, I’m from Earth too, so… calm down?” The engineer said, making Malcolm scoff, and the brown eyes squint.

“We’re just trying to get back to our ship,” they said.

“How did you get on board?” Malcolm asked, bringing his phase pistol up again, which Trip grabbed out of his hands.

“Are you insane? I told you that you can’t shoot inta there!” he said angrily.

“Seriously, the echo is driving me insane, can you turn that thing off?” the brown eyed one said.

“You tell me your names and I’ll do that,” Trip said, “But then we’re getting the captain too.”

The eyes turned towards each other, so Trip couldn’t see them, before turning back.

“Yes, alright,” said the brown eyed one. “I’m Tobie.”

“I’m still Bethany,” said the blue eyed one. “You’re the chief of engineering?”

Trip nodded, and then turned to Malcolm, who went over and turned off the translator from echoing into the room, before sending one of his team to get the captain.

“You’re pretty good,” Bethany said, while this time the brown eyes rolled up.

“We need to discuss what will happen if we leave the… shuttlepod,” Tobie said, the word sounding unfamiliar on their tongue.

“Captain Archer will be here momentarily, and he’ll be able to discuss with you anything you might need.”

“Do you have any maple syrup?”

“Tobie, maple syrup will not help the ration packs taste better.”

“It’s worth a shot?”

These two were clearly completely at ease with their current situation, which had to mean they were crazy, Trip thought, looking at Malcolm who also looked uneasy.

“How did you get on the ship?” Malcolm tried again.

“Dunno, kinda just happened. Then I woke up in your brig, which isn’t the nicest place to welcome visitors, to be honest,” Bethany said, sounding annoyed. “I was cleaning plasma conduits on our ship and then boom, here we are.”

“Where’s your ship? I don’t recognize your uniforms?” Malcolm asked.

“That is sensitive information that we can’t share with you at this time,” Tobie responded, fixing Malcolm with a stare.

“You mentioned Betazoid, that’s your planet, isn’t it?” Trip asked, seeing the main doors slide open from the corner of his eye.

There was a slight scuffle that could be heard before Tobie responded. “That is sensitive information we can’t share with you at this time.”

A few more seconds of silence, and then Trip stood up, and walked over to speak with Captain Archer.

“They’re behind one of the plasma manifolds. The risk of hitting it is too high, I can’t recommend using any weapons close to it, otherwise you won’t have a ship, let alone a shuttlepod,”

“Have they said anything?”

“We’ve got their names, sir, that’s about all. They say it’s sensitive information whenever we ask. Said they got here because plasma injectors blew up or something.”

Archer crossed his arms, thinking.

“Sir?”

Archer turned back to him. “They really know what they’re doing, sir. All power in the ship was converted into the shields, the locking system, and life support. They disconnected the weapons almost immediately,” Trip said quickly. “I don’t know who they are, but they’ve got pretty substantial engineering knowledge. They just seem to be having trouble with the specifics of the shuttlepod.”

Archer nodded thoughtfully. “Have they mentioned anything about time travel yet?”

“No sir.” Trip shook his head.

Archer strode over to the shuttlepod, crouching down to see through the mass of wire as Malcolm moved back slightly to let the captain through.

—–

“What are you doing aboard my ship?” Jonathan Archer asked, his eyes framed by the wires of the runabout they’d commandeered.

Bethany looked at Tobie, while the Betazoid clenched their jaw slightly.

“As my friend told your officers, were here by accident. Something happened that made us end up here,” Tobie said, fixing Archer with a stare.

“Did Daniels send you here?”

“Who’s Daniels?” Bethany asked, looking confusedly at the captain. “Wait, Tobie, isn’t one of your guys a Daniels?”

“I’m assuming it can’t be the same one,” Tobie said, looking at Bethany with an uncomprehending look. “Since we’re in the the 22nd century and all.”

“Oh, right,” Bethany said, looking down at the ground as her cheeks flushed slightly. “Okay, so, no.”

“He’s a temporal agent, like you are, although your uniforms look quite different from his,” Archer said, through the hole.

“We’re not temporal agents.”

“What century are you from, the 29th? The 30th?” Archer tried again.

“What the heck? No, no, that’s way too far,” Bethany said before Tobie elbowed her again. “That hurts! You’re bony!”

Then stop giving him all the information? Tobie said to Bethany who frowned.

We’re kind of trapped in here until someone can find us or we can convince the Enterprise to help us, and that seems like the most likely option here, Bethany thought at Tobie, who frowned back at her.

We shouldn’t be giving out information, Tobie replied. It’ll damage the timeline.

But we need them to trust us. Besides, our century and that we work on a ship shouldn’t hurt, Bethany thought.

Fine, if you can get them to help you great, otherwise, I’m pulling us back into the next… shuttlepod, and we’re getting out of here until Captain Sito gets us back, Tobie said.

“Excellent, okay,” Bethany said out loud, ignoring her friend’s sigh. “So, we need help getting back to our own century, and since you know a guy, do you think you could help us out?”

Archer blinked three times slowly before he answered.

“You want our help to get you back when all you’ve done is break out of the brig and try to escape.”

Bethany looked at him. “Timelines are really easy to mess up, and I’d rather not not be born if you know what I mean?”

“We’ll help on one condition,” Archer said, “You disarm, and then we can talk about things.”

“No way,” Tobie said, “Being here is bad enough, I’m not risking leaving behind future technology.”

“You’re on my ship.”

“By the plasma manifold. I can blow this ship up, and most of your senior officers too. And I think you care a lot more about the entire crew and the ship here than I do,” Tobie said, bluffing. Bethany hoped.

“What if we both disarm our weapons and leave them in a secured spot in the room?” Bethany suggested. “We’ll tell you the whole story of how we got here, and then you can decide if you want to help us. If you do, that’s great. If not, we’ll… get off at your next stop?”

“Or we’ll throw you in the brig,” Archer said.

“Okay, or that,” Bethany said nodding. Tobie looked at her in disbelief.

They’re definitely going to help! Bethany defended herself It’s the Enterprise crew! They always help people!

—

“So you’re saying you have no idea how you got here,” Archer asked again to the two sitting at the Captain’s table.

“Nope,” the blonde one, Bethany, said cheerily and her companion looked at her with a slight eye roll, from the excitement, Archer assumed. “But I’ll be looking at all the stats I can find when we get back to our ship.”

“Captain, might I remind you that the Vulcan Science Directorate has determined that time travel is impossible,” T’Pol spoke up from her spot in the corner, while Trip put his head in his hands.

“No, they haven’t,” Bethany said, looking at her.

The Betazoid joined Trip with their head in their hands.

“I understand this is an unorthodox request, but I wouldn’t make it if I didn’t think that you could help us,” Bethany said, just as the ship rocked to one side.

“Report!” Archer said, staggering to a communications box on the wall.

“It’s the Klingons, sir,” Travis’ voice came through, “They’re firing.”

“Go to tactical alert!” Archer said, rushing out of the room onto to the Bridge, while his officers followed. Bethany turned to Tobie, and then shrugged, before following the humans out.

“Why are the Klingons attacking?” Bethany asked the room as they saw the Klingon bird of prey on screen.

“Because it’s pre-federation, they’re still on the verge of war!” Tobie replied, looking at the weapons station.

“Right… I’m gonna go down to engineering and see if I can help,” Bethany said, sprinting over to the turbolift, leaving Tobie to grab onto a railing as the ship swerved and sparks exploded overhead.

By the time Tobie could think of a response to their friend, she’d already disappeared. Tobie didn’t have much hope that she’d have listened even if they’d thought of something quicker.

“Fire torpedos,” Archer said, barking the words from his seat where he held on. “Travis, evasive maneuvers. Hoshi, try and hail them.”

Another shower of sparks came down, this time around the Weapons station, as Malcolm pressed several buttons. “Shields down to 23%,” he said, waving a few sparks from his panel.

“Keep them up!” Archer replied, as the ship shook once again, and more sparks flew from the ceiling.

With a loud crash, a pipe burst out of the wall beside Tobie, making them jump away

“Shields are dow-” Lieutenant Reed was interrupted by a large bang that came from the wall behind him. Another bang, and Lieutenant Reed was on the ground. Without even thinking, Tobie jumped over the weapons console, and checked his pulse - He was breathing, and appeared to be unconscious. Looking at the weapons sensor, they aimed at where the Klingon Bird of Prey’s weapons usually were, and sent off a volley, before remembering where they used to be and aiming there.

“Sir, shields are back online!” Hoshi yelled over another rattle, as the Bird of Prey turned and started moving away from them.

“Trip, I don’t know what you did, but it worked,” Archer said into his console, before turning to Tobie. “Nice aim.”

“Sir,” they said, nodding. “Lieutenant Reed needs medical attention.”

Two crewmen - medics - came through the turbolift, going straight to the unconscious Security officer.

“Travis, get us out of here,” Archer said, turning to the screen. “Maximum warp.”

—-

Two hours later, Bethany and Tobie were sitting in the galley drinking some tea as they watched space go by.

“I honestly can’t believe that they’ve actually managed to get up to warp five with the purity of dilithium crystals they have - They’re barely even dilithium, so it’s no wonder they can’t compress the - ” Bethany stopped her rant by turning to her friend. “How was it?”

“Could’ve been worse,” Tobie replied, shrugging again. “We’ve definitely altered the time line.”

Bethany frowned. “How’s Lieutenant Reed?” she asked.

“Conscious, from what I know,” Tobie looked out the galley window again, “It just seems so stupid, that I … did that.”

“It’s what your training told you to,” Bethany said, taking another sip of her oversweet tea.

“But we’re not supposed to interfere,” Tobie said frowning.

“I mean, I interfered just as much as you did,” Bethany replied, trying to make them feel better. “I got the shields back up and running.”

“The Captain is going to kill us when she realizes the mess we’ve made,” Tobie said, smiling.

“You get to make the report!” Bethany said jokingly, “We’ll just leave out all the bad stuff.”

Tobie took a sip of their tea, then looked at Bethany. “So, how do you think we got here?”

Bethany frowned, staring into her cup. “Honestly? We should be lying in sick bay right now, I can’t think of anything that might have thrown us back in time. But time travel’s not well researched yet, and it’s definitely not my area of expertise.”

“Huh,” Tobie said, draining their mug. “Can you get us back?”

“There’s something Professor O’Brien told me he did once that might work,” Bethany replied, “But I’m not sure.”

“Worth a shot?”

The door of the galley quietly hissed open, and both Tobie and Bethany turned to look. Hoshi Sato stood in the doorway.

“I hope I’m not interrupting,” she said nervously, while Bethany waved that away.

“Hey, can I ask you for something weird?” Bethany said, suddenly sitting up.

“Yeah, sure,” the communications officer replied.

“It’s just… Our friend is a … really big fan,” Bethany started awkwardly.

“In the future?” Hoshi said uncertainly.

“Yeah, well, you -” Bethany turned uncertainly to Tobie who shook their head. “Let’s just leave it at a big fan.”

“Okay,” Hoshi said curiously.

“Would you sign my Padd?”

“Would I - what?”

“Would you sign my padd so that I can send it to my friend?” Bethany asked again, cringing slightly.

“Uhm, sure,” Hoshi said, taking the proffered Padd and awkwardly signing it.

“Thanks,” Bethany said, turning back to Tobie. “They owe me big now.”

Tobie nodded, laughing slightly.

“Anyway,” Hoshi said, shaking her head slightly as if to get rid of the memory of the last awkward minute. “The captain wants to see you.”

Tobie stood up quietly, while Bethany stuck her signed Padd into a loop on her belt.

—

“We’re happy to help in anyway we can,” Archer said, looking at them from across his quarters. “I don’t know how much we can do, but we’ll do what we can.”

Tobie and Bethany nodded, gratefully.

“I also wanted to thank you for your help, on the bridge, …”

“Commander Celes, thank you sir,” Tobie said, smiling.

“And Trip tells me you were very good in engineering, and you’re the reason our shields went back up,” Archer said, turning to Bethany.

“‘S my job sir,” Bethany replied.

“Now, have you thought about how you could get home?” Archer asked, leaning forward.

“I think I may be able to modify your transporter to move us through time - I know that it’s been done before, and I looked at the specs of your transporter and I think it should work,” Bethany said frowning.

“I’ll have Trip get a team to help you right away,” Archer said.

—

Tobie approached Bethany, who appeared to be tinkering at one last part of the transporter panel.

“Will it work?” they asked, watching their friend, waiting for the rest of the Enterprise team to show up.

“Theoretically - yes,” Bethany replied, putting a spanner in the pocket of the belt by her feet.

Tobie looked at her and she nodded. “It’ll be fine. I promise.”

“Okay, if you’re sure,” Tobie said, then turned to where the Captain and his first officer were coming down the hall. “Thank you for your hospitality, Captain. Best of luck to your endeavour.”

Nodding their head slightly to the Captain, Tobie made their way to the transporter as Bethany imputed the coordinates. Hoshi, Trip, and Malcolm came down the hall from the other side.

“You wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye?” Hoshi said smiling, making Bethany and Tobie smile in response.

With one hand on her Padd, Bethany nodded. “Thank you, again.”

Trip stepped up to the transporter console. “Ready?’

Bethany and Tobie nodded. “Energize.”

The familiar shimmer of transporting flew in front of their eyes as the crew of the NX-01 Enterprise disappeared. In its place, a familiar Galaxy hallway solidified, except… The carpet was wrong.

And the walls were a funny colour.

An officer walked by wearing an outdated style of uniform.

“What the fuck?!”

#friends #kiradax #sometimes i write a thing #or #sometimes i write stuff #this is longg #enjoy?#a friend also makes special mention twice #hehehe

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jenniferbowley · 5 years

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Weekly Digital Marketing Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 235

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Click on the video above to watch Episode 235 of the Semantic Mastery Hump Day Hangouts.

Full timestamps with topics and times can be found at the link above.

The latest upcoming free SEO Q&A Hump Day Hangout can be found at http://semanticmastery.com/humpday.

Announcement

Adam: Alright, we are live! Welcome everybody to Hump Day hangouts Episode 235. Today is the eighth of May 2019. And just want to say first of all, thank you for watching. Whether you’re watching us live at https://www.semanticmastery.com/hdquestions, or if you’re checking out the replay on YouTube or wherever the heck you are. Just want to say you know, a lot of times we get asked where to start with Semantic Mastery. This is the place to do it. You can ask questions, again at https://www.semanticmastery.com/hdquestions. But secondly, you should grab the Battle Plan and you can find out more about that https://battleplan.semanticmastery.com. If you’re ready to take things up several notches and you want to either start or grow your local digital marketing agency, you should join this Semantic Mastery Mastermind You can find out more about that at https://mastermind.semanticmastery.com. So with that little bit out of the way, we got almost a full group here. We got four out of the five of us. So we’re going to go through and say a little hello. And I’m going to start with Hernan because he looks like he’s eaten. What’s up, man?

Hernan: Hey, dude, it’s good to see you for change, you know? We’re not running in the woods and whatnot and it’s good to see you back and have the Hangout so everybody. I’m just messing with you. I like you.

Adam: I like your shirt. You got your Semantic Mastery shirt on

Hernan: I got the Oh gee, you’re on Yeah. So it’s good to be here man and a lot of good stuff coming up. I’m really excited to be here some good stuff.

Adam: Well, you did. Speaking of good stuff, you did some training for the Mastermind not too long ago, right?

Facebook Training With Hernan

Hernan: Correct. Yeah, we did actually we went deep into lead ads, how to target for Facebook, you know, my kind of my material and my stuff is Facebook. So and I’ve been doing Facebook for a while and I show the guys mostly you know how to target specific areas on local, and specifically, we went into how to target those services that are hard to target on Facebook, like for instance, injury attorney or emergency plumber or tree Service. Like, how do you target them? And how do you target those people? Right. And then we went into that it was pretty cool. And then got a couple questions on our Facebook group that we have to it was cool. And I would you know, if there’s a demand for it, we will definitely, you know, expand the content that’s on there. And we can even do like a step by step thing on Facebook ads. And yeah, now it was pretty cool. Pretty cool.

Bradley: If I made briefly because I’ve had an aversion to Facebook for years. I’ve never had any desire to do it Facebook ads, but I’m actually in the process of setting up my first ads account what I’ve tested it in the past, but like I got tired of it immediately. So I never really followed through. But after her non-straining, I said okay, it’s time I’m, you know, dabble a bit in. So, believe it or not, it was good. I mean, her, not his training was enough to finally convinced me to use it. Because it looks like being able to use Facebook ads for local leads is gotten a lot better than it used to be. And so there’s really no reason why I shouldn’t also know how to do that. So, honestly, thanks. Thanks, Hernan and I will certainly be leaning on you for some advice as I get the campaign further developed.

Hernan: For sure. Yeah. 100% and you know, to mention that and I’ll finish with this, Facebook just launched a new campaign objective which is called store visits. So whenever you have a client that has a store like I don’t know a dentist or not, not people that will go out and serve other people you know, in the clients place but rather the clients that are customers go to their locations, Facebook is setting that up so that they will know when somebody goes into stores just by GPS if they have you know if they have like 4G or whatever, like they have their GPS open on their phone, they will know so you can entice store visit and store visits on Facebook, which is pretty cool. So I’m still testing that new that but there’s a lot of stuff going on for locals which is pretty cool.

Bradley: Very cool.

Adam: Awesome. Alright, moving down the line. Marco. How are you doing?

Marco: I’m gonna crack open my beer

Bradley: starting early huh?

Marco: A toast for OGs everywhere man, I’m almost 16 years online. So I know I was a bit late, right 2003, 2004 because the web had already been on for quite a while but I mean back then, it was the wild wild west and you really had to be on your toes to get but I mean there’s so much money to be made back then. And you know how they say in fashion, everything that was old is new again. Because it’ll kind of filters back. That’s what I’m seeing right now. I keep telling people like it’s the way it was back then. How it was to make money. You just got more links to them. The other guy didn’t you outrank them and you just piled a ton of keywords in the anchor text. And so you got really good rankings. And if you did a little bit more manipulation, then it was more money. That’s the way it is right now. Google has tried to obfuscate the playing field. They’ve tried to trick people into thinking that it’s something that you need a Ph.D. for. Their coders might need master’s degrees and PhDs but we don’t. Because we simplify, we filter it down. That’s what we do in our Mastermind. That’s what we do. And in our paid groups, we filter it right. It’s like pouring a cup of coffee, you go through a lot of steps to end up with a good cup of coffee, but the process for making the cause it’s really simple, hot water through the grounds and you get the just great cup of coffee, but that’s the way it is now you filter out all the bullshit. And you get this great big pile of money, guys. It’s never been easier. Well, let’s say I don’t know how I’m gonna stick to that it has never been easier to make money online than it is right now and so from beautiful Costa Rica to the rest of you guys, keep working on that POFU path man. It’s POFU for bus cuz all you get in the middle is a big fat What? I’ll leave it at that.

Adam: That’s awesome. Yeah, I was doing my sneaky finger back here but yeah, yeah, good setup better, Bradley. How are you doing man?

Bradley: Good. I’m happy to be here. I have another Facebook thing to mention is I was trying to set a new page up in Google our business Google See I always just revert to Google but Facebook Business Manager so that I could run ads to it. Well, I had a business manager account, but apparently, it was disabled for running ads because it stayed inactive for a long time and I didn’t know that until after I’d had a new page to it. And I tried to once I realized that I couldn’t run ads to it, I said, Okay, well, let me delete this page from the business manager. Well, apparently, the business manager ends up owning the page. So when you delete the page from business manager, you like delete your admin access to the page. And I didn’t know that. So again, I’m not much of a Facebook user. And I was the only admin of the page but it removed me. And so then it was like an orphan page, there were no admins at all, no managers. And so I contacted Facebook support and said, help, you know, I need access to my page and they made me print out like or type out a what they call it a declaration of like, and it had like, all these different steps of who I was, I had to provide photo ID, who I was, what my relationship was to the page and to the business to the other admins of the page, which there were none. I had to put this declaration under penalty of perjury that I was who I said I was and then go get this thing notarized in order to get access to my page again. So moral The story is, if you don’t know what you’re doing, get help first. And don’t ever delete yourself as an admin from a page if you’re the only admin because they’ll make you jump through hoops. But long story short, I did get access back to it again, it was just it was a nightmare. But it was pretty important because it was crazy because I went ahead and added another created another page because I was like, screw it. I’m not going through all that I’ll create another page. But I couldn’t use the same slug or page name, you know, the page URL, the username, I guess. And also like, for whatever reason, that page that was orphaned and now was ranking for like the company name and like the other one wasn’t. So I just went through all the hoops that they’ve jumped through but now I think I’m ready to start advertising but that’s why I said Hernan I’m going to lean on you buddy. Because I have a feeling I’ll screw something else up if I don’t.

Hernan: Got you. Don’t just don’t break anything.

Bradley: Don’t touch, don’t touch.

Adam: Well, we got a couple more things we want to cover. Before we get into the questions. First of all, we’ve been adding more and more done for you services at mgyb.co. If you haven’t been over there, head over just again is mgyb.co for your premium done for you, SEO Services not going to run through the laundry list. There’s a lot of really great services you got syndication networks, RYS stacks, all sorts of stuff. Go over there and check it out. And if you’re checking this out on YouTube or even if you’re not, head over to YouTube, check out Semantic Mastery subscribe to the channel. If you come across clips you like or they’ll be helpful share them with people. We’re definitely trying to grow the channel and help people out to we get a lot of feedback that that’s a really helpful place for people to go and, you know, get answers basically their questions. And then last but certainly not least, want to tell everyone about a special opportunity coming up soon. We’re going to have early an early access opportunity to some advanced training to the successor to Local GMB Pro so I don’t know Bradley are you guys if you want to talk a little bit about that. I know we’re still kind of in the secret phase of this, but I wanted to let people know that that’s coming up so they can start to plan to be involved in that.

Bradley: I’ll go first. Yeah, so we’re going to do kind of like an update or the successor version 2.0, whatever the bigger, badder, better version of Local GMB Pro, where it’s going to incorporate more than just GMB assets, which is what we did originally because it was rather new at the time. And we were able to get significant results with just staying within the Google ecosystem. However, the reality is, most clients obviously are going to have self-hosted web sites and they’re going to have a presence across multiple other digital properties. Facebook, you know, citations like Yelp, for example, which by the way, I’m going to do a little bit of Yelp training today guys, briefly before we get into questions too, but most clients, okay, if you’re just building lead gen ss, it was perfectly fine to stay within the GMB ecosystem or the Google ecosystem. Excuse me.

But when it comes to doing like client work, typically or for running like a real business, for the most part, you’re going to end up having a self-hosted website, you’re going to have multiple social media properties syndication networks basically have, you know, just a presence on a lot of other properties. And we want to be able to incorporate all of that into the new training, which is going to show how to use Google and Google My Business to help get better results for everything, your digital presence across the board. And so that’s really what we’re going to be doing. Robin, Marco, you know, Marco always puts mad scientists cap on and goes deep into the lab and starts trying to break shit. And then that’s where we develop products most of the time. So he and Rob are going back into the lab, essentially, and they’re in there now like starting to figure out other stuff plus a lot of stuff that we’ve learned over the last many months especially with scaling the GMB stuff that we’re going to incorporate into the new training. And we’re going to do it in a slightly different model this way, and that’s what Adam was alluding to. We have an opportunity for people to come in kind of an early bird special, where we’re going to do live training and live updates via webinar over the course of several weeks. And we’ve got a couple of case studies going on as well, that will be a not just us too, we’ve also got some of our members like our Mastermind members, essentially, that are doing case studies.

So there will be some diversity, as it won’t just be us teaching shit, there will be case studies from some of our members that are applying what they’re learning. So it’ll be slightly different. It’s going to be kind of a new format, how we produce that training. At the end of it, it’s obviously going to be all packaged up and sold as a product. But if anybody wants to come kind of real-time, follow along through the process as we’re developing the product and recording the training and that kind of stuff and through the webinars and get access to directly to us for QA and those kinds of things. That would be the best time would be to come in on the early bird side of it like through the presale offer that we’re going to give we’re going to make available here shortly. Marco, do you want to comment on it?

Marco: Nah, we’re just gonna try to break it.

Bradley: enough said.

Adam: Alright guys, anything else? Are we ready to get into it?

Bradley: I think we can get into it.

Adam: All right, let’s do it.

Yelp Ranking & Link Building Technique

Bradley: All right, we don’t have a lot of questions just yet. So there’s something I want to cover briefly because I just actually had a client reach out to me, who does. He does a lot of Facebook stuff or excuse me, not Facebook, Yelp stuff. He’s a contractor and he was doing a lot of Yelp advertising. And then Yelp went on kind of a rampage recently, guys within the last six months or so. And they’ve done this before, but it got really bad about six months ago, eight months ago, somewhere around that time frame where they started to hide reviews. And they filter them out. And I’ve read multiple articles online about like they’ve actually come out and stated that two businesses that have too many five star reviews look unnatural whether they were natural reviews or not, it looks unnatural. So they started hiding them or filtering them. And so my, my client was pissed because he was spending, I think $1,000 a month or like $1200 dollars a month or something on advertising through Yelp, I wasn’t managing that for him. I do the SEO for him. But ever since they started filtering reviews, like he, you know, some of his traffic has actually died down even though he’s a paid advertiser with Yelp. And so I know Yelp says that they don’t promote any organic part of Yelp, advertisers over non-advertisers. But it’s just like Google guys, you know, you Google says you can’t use paid ad traffic to get SEO results. And that’s bullshit. We’ve proven that over and over and over again. So Yelp does the same thing. If you’re an advertiser, you get promoted more both as an advertiser as well as organic results. And if you stop advertising, they’ll start to demote you essentially. And we’ve seen that time and again.

And so anyway, he reached out to me the other day to say that, you know, Yelp’s been pissing him off. He’s still an advertiser. He doesn’t advertise as much. He’s actually spending a part of that now with me and Google ads, we’re doing some display ad stuff and some YouTube stuff. But and I think part of the reason that Yelp has started to pull back on his exposure is that he has reduced his overall ad spend. And so he was asking me about, you know, is there anything that we can do SEO wise that can help him with Yelp. And so I did develop, I’ve tested this in the past. Now, I’m going to share with you this method I’ve shared it in the past on Hump Day Hangouts as well. But I think it’s valid. And I do want to express like one disclaimer, a caveat to this is that yelps algorithm is there’s a ton of different ranking factors inside of Yelp, similarly to Google, but they’re not the same as Google and they’re changing. Rather, they evolved, they change rather frequently, Yelp does, what they do in order to determine where the organic listings are going to rank now if you guys have ever been and I’m going to grab the screen and we’re going to go to a quick demo. But if you go to a Yelp index page, for example, you’ll see that there’s a bunch of advertisers now at the top before you even get to the organic section. But what I want to point out as a way to do traditional SEO stuff, which is Yelp guys, you can absolutely hammer it with links. And that’s one of the ways that you can actually get an individual Yelp page listing page to rank above an index page in Google search. Now in the past that by doing that by pushing a bunch of link equity link juice, essentially throwing a whole lot of links at a Yelp page, you could get a Yelp page to outrank an index page, a Yelp index page in Google search, which ultimately had an effect on the ranking within organic Yelp too, right. So within Yelp itself, however, I don’t know that that’s still the case.

So I’m about to test it but you guys know we have MGYB we’ve got our link builder in there. Our master link builder daddy at his services are now available in our store at MGYB.co Well if you go check out link building, you’ll see it. And the top-level package for link building for just two tiers of links, we didn’t add a third tier. But it’s I think it’s 20,000 tier one web to auto links, and 150,000, tier two GSA links, it comes out to be 360 bucks, so, but it’s super, super powerful. And if you know what to aim it at, you can get results with that. And so I actually just yesterday placed an order to target my client’s Yelp page with that two-tier link building package. Again, 20,000 tier one web to auto links and 150,000 tier two GSA links, and I’m going to show you exactly the URLs that I targeted for the Yellow Page to show you guys how you can really just push a shit ton of power into there. Now in the coming weeks, it’s going to take roughly a month for that link building package to be completed as well as the indexing and all of that so and you know, I’m going to set a calendar reminder to bring this up again in a month. Once I have some results. I’m obviously going to blow out my I’m tracking the Yelp rankings right now with this. So I can see that type of movement I can get out of it.

I’m tracking the Yelp rankings in Google, I haven’t figured out how to trap track the Yelp rankings in Yelp yet, other than just manually for some of the cities that we’re targeting, which is you know, we’re targeting specific keyword plus about five different cities. So I might just do that manually, but in a month, I’m going to send you guys or I’d like to on a hump day hangout provide an update to show you guys what kind of results we got with pushing Yelp and Google as well as what it did what kind of effect it had on the Yelp listing in Yelp itself. So let me go ahead and grab the screen and show you guys exactly what I was talking about. Because there’s a lot of URLs inside it out guys that you can you can hammer with links and since it’s Yelp, it’s like Amazon or Google you can throw kitchen sink spam at it. And so it’s a perfect buffer site to use to just push a shit ton of links into so let’s just do something like I don’t know we’ll say plumber Fairfax, VA.

If you guys have noticed this, let me zoom in on this a little bit for local. Guess what the back again, really big for local keywords guys like especially for contractors. If you take a look, you’ll see it’s citation sites, business directory sites are back again, like, there’s it seems like this happens every it goes in cycles. Google will show business directory sites for local searches, especially for contractors. I don’t know because I stick mainly with contractors, guys. So I don’t know about other industries. But it looks like for contractors stuff that, you know, goes in cycles, it seems like there are periods of time where Google will push the directories down and allow websites like individual websites to rank, but then it comes back where the directories come back again, and then it’s the directory index pages, which I always thought was funny because think about this when you go to Google and you do a search for a keyword phrase like plumber Fairfax for example. If you click on one of these, all that does is go to another index page. Remember, this is just an index page, right? This is a Google index page. And this is what Google is saying as the top 10 results for this particular keyword search, this search query, and it’s just showing an index of the top 10 index results, right. But then if you click through, and by the way, that’s number one, right Yelp. But if you click through what is Yelp, and Yelp is nothing but another set of indexed results. So it really to me, I think it’s shitty that Google does that I think Google should be promoting individual websites or even individual pages on the business directories, not another index page. Does that make sense? Because to me, it’s like, why would you go from one index to another index? It doesn’t make any sense but again, it goes in cycles. It seems like that’s what happens.

But if you take a look like Yelp has their Angie’s List, Home Advisor looks like this is another index type page, bestpickreports.com. So you can see there are obviously there are some individual businesses ranked here. But there are multiple indexed index pages essentially from other business directories. So that what I’m going to show you though, is how in the past and again, it’s been a while since I’ve done this, so I’m anxious to see if I can still achieve the same kind of results that I was able to in the past. But that’s how do you get an individual Yelp listing to push above the index listing, right. And then ultimately, hopefully, we’ll be able to not only push it in Google, but also get an individual Yelp listing to push above or at the top of the organic section in the Yelp listings, which by the way, look at this, if you take a look guys, this is the sponsored results. I’ll zoom in a little bit. This is the sponsored results section. So these are advertisers, people paying in Yelp just like Google does. The sponsored results are always at the top but take a look at how many there are. There’s 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 looks like there are 10 sponsored results before it even gets to the organic results. So it makes sense.

So again, it just to me, it’s, I don’t think it’s right that they do this, but it is what it is. And there’s a lot of traffic to be had on Yelp. By the way, if you’re, if you’re if you’ve never been listed on Yelp before, the moment that you get listed on Yelp, you will start to get hammered relentlessly with sales calls from Yelp, trying to sell your advertising and no matter how many times you tell them no, they will continue to call and they’ll call two and three times a week. And it’s absolutely insane. I think it ought to be illegal, illegal. You know, with all the lead gen assets I run. It’s crazy how many calls my call center fields from Yelp reps, and they always say the same stupid thing every time they say oh, well, we’re the new Yelp representative for your territory or your area. And we’re just calling because we’re offering some new advertising packages and blah blah, it’s always the same pitch, but it’s all bullshit. It’s no matter how many times you tell them, take us off your call this leave us alone. If you’ve got a listing on Yelp, they will call you to death, especially if you’ve claimed it just so you’re aware of that.

Alright, so anyways, let’s just pick one of these for a second. Actually, this guy right here used to be an SEO client of mine about four years ago, Cardinal plumbing. Anyways, let’s just scroll down. Let’s use that one. Okay. Again, used to be an SEO client of mine. If we go in here, it looks like they’ve got 52 photos. This is what I want to show you about how to push power into the Yelp listing for Google sake. But also, like I said, it used to have a significant influence on Yelp, too. But I don’t know that that’s the case anymore. That’s kind of why I want to test it. So first of all, I would grab this URL right here and open up a notepad file standby. And I should probably open an Excel file, but that’s okay. I’ll just use notepad because it’ll be easier. Let me change the control plus

Alright, we’re just going to use Notepad, you can clean it up, obviously, if you’re using a spreadsheet, but that’s going to be the primary URL, right. But there’s a ton of other URLs on this page that I want to show you that you can also push link juice into some of which are canonical URLs, which won’t show if anybody you know, it doesn’t show in a backlink analysis tool, like AHREFs or Majestic or something if you’re building links to the URLs that are canonicalization to this URL. So in case, you guys hadn’t seen this before if we click on right click view page source. You scroll down a little bit, right here, you’ll see the linkrel=canonical, and that’s the URL that I just put in my notepad file right there. Well, all of these are the different language or what they call, a href language tags. So these are all URLs for Yelp in the different countries. And what they are every one of those URLs are canonicalization to this URL, right, which is the primary US English, you know, yelp.com URL for that business. So that makes sense. So what you can do here is actually grab all of these URLs right here. Now you have to trim them obviously down to the URL and get rid of the HTML code. And that’s why, like I said, having a, you can do this in a spreadsheet, you can do you know, find and replace, to get rid of some of this stuff, all that kind of stuff. What I like to do guys, by the way, is just put in like a tab, right there and a tab right here. And then I do you know, I’ll do a Find and Replace and get rid of all of these all at one time. And then I’ll do that in this case, I do sterling-4. And then if I replace, I do sterling-4 with the tab and then replay up, let me just demonstrate it honestly, because if I don’t, some of you guys are going to know how to do it. So what I’m going to do is actually grab this right there. I’m going to go to find and replace or replace And I’m going to say replace al and what it should do. And in fact, as I said, I need to grab this actually need to grab that right there. Anyways, I’m not going to go through that. But you can trim that down to where do you end up with just the URLs, okay, that’s what you want to do. There are also tools out there that will do that kind of stuff, trim it down to just URLs. Anyways, once you do that, now you’ve got all these different URLs that you can build links to. So that when you’re buying a big link building package, or you’re, you’re if you’re doing your own, if you use link building tools, I can’t stand doing that shit. But if you do it you’re on your own. It’s better to have multiple targets than it is to just hit all on this one URL. You kind of want to spread the link juice out across different target URLs, but they all benefit the same URL, this singular URL up here. Does that make sense? So again, that’s a really good target there, use all those different canonicalization hreflang URLs.

Alright, so let’s keep moving. Next. If we actually go up here and take a look at the images here, guys, it says there are 52 photos. So if you click that little icon there that said, See 52 or 52 photos, each one of these if you look at the URL bar, guys, the address bar up here if I click on that, look at that, that’s a unique URL, right? If I move it what to do, it changes to another URL. So every one of these is additional link targets that you can use to push additional juice into this Yelp listing, right. So I wouldn’t recommend that you go through that’s funny, because that photo was one of the photos we put on the website that I did for them, like four years ago. So that’s an old photo. Anyways, uh, every one of these is another URL that you could build links to. So I wouldn’t recommend that you go manually copy all these. So let me give you a little shortcut is in the Chrome Store, go to chromestore.com or whatever, go do a Google search for Chrome Store. click through and then type in link grabber. And that’s this thing right here. You can see I’ve already got it installed on my in my Chrome browser. Okay, so from here, what we’re going to do is just close this out to where we’re on the photo index page, and all I’m going to do is click the link grabber. And if you scroll down here, right here, you’ll see starting with, it always says yelp.com slash biz underscore photos. So those are the photos right there on that index page. Those are all the URLs to all those photos. So all I gotta do is just copy these right here. And go play and paste these into my, as I said, it would be better if I had a spreadsheet, but I would just put them right there. See that, guys. That’s another whole set of URLs that you can build links to see that they’re all unique URLs, it’s all going to push power or juice link equity right back into this top-level URL right here. All right, and so again, same thing, you would just go to the next page right down here, and you click link grabber again, come down here where it starts to say biz underscore photos, you want to copy those down to here, copy them to clipboard and then go paste them into your link target file, whatever that may be, in this case, notepad file. See that?

So now again, once I had trimmed all this shit down, I’d end up with this URL, all these hreflang URLs, and then all of these image URLs. And now, there’s probably other URLs that you could also build links to. I mean, I know there is, for example, if you wanted to, you could actually scrape the review URLs directly to the reviews and that kind of stuff. So you can get as crazy as you want anything on this page that has its own URL, you could actually add to your link targets, and then just throw kitchen sink spam at it. All right. And that’s how you power up a Yelp listing. So as a brief little tutorial, I wanted to share with you guys I will give an update. I’ll try to set a calendar reminder to revisit this in about a month once I have the reports back from our link builder and all that kind of stuff and see what kind of results we’ve had.

Okay, anybody wants to comment on that? Or can we move into questions?

Adam: I think we’re good.

Bradley: Okay. Moving on.

Is There A Way To Delete Add Redo A Google My Business Listing?

Okay, so MISSMOVING got the first question. She said. I’m assuming it’s a female says, Hello. I’m having a problem with Google My Business listing two of them and want only the ones in New York City, I need to know what to do and will I be able to delete and redo these listings? Well, with it, that’s not really much information. I’m having problems with my GMB doesn’t really explain to us what kind of problems you’re having. So I can’t really give you any advice on it. If I don’t know what the problem is.

There could be any number of problems, right. So I mean, specifically, what are the problems? That’s something we would need to have more information on before I could really provide you with any valid advice. That said, would you be able to delete and redo those listings? Well, I suppose you could if you were able to re-verify or verify under, you know, new locations. The problem is if you’ve already got a verified listing, I mean, that’s one of the challenges, right is to get a verified Google My Business profile. It won’t even publish now until it’s verified. So if you have the ability to reverify new listings. If not, you can buy them from us. We do it at mgyb.co, our store, you can actually for a while we had to shut it down guys, but right now we’re able to do it again. So if you need GMB verified listings, you can get them from us while it’s still available, right? So that’s something you could do you know it again, without enough information, I can’t give you the proper advice, because in some cases, it’s wouldn’t be wise, in my opinion, to terminate, suspend or delete, I should say, remove a listing, when it could just need some work to get it to come back. Like for example, sometimes you get what’s called a pigeon filter. And that’s something that happens. And in fact, I’ve experienced this recently with some of ours, based upon the local least pro method, which was getting a lot of listings, kind of within, you know, they could be in close proximity to them to each other, and that can cause some pigeon filter issues. There are ways to get out of that, but initially, it can cause pigeon filter issues. And I think Marco calls them also soft suspensions. And there are ways to actually get that lifted or removed or to pull it out of that kind of sandbox state. But you know, again, it just depends on what the overall like what we think that the problem was before I would determine whether or not I would just abandon the listing altogether. Or if I would put the effort in to get it out of the sandbox essentially. So again, without enough information, it’s really hard to give you a piece of proper advice on that.

Is There A Link Shortener That You Recommend Besides Firebase?

Ken Robert says, besides Firebase, is there a link shortener that you would recommend using and who to stay away from? Um, there’s shit what does it Rebrandly, I think is one of them. There’s or snip.ly, I think there’s another one. There’s a lot of those that you can do a lot of really cool stuff with. Where you can add like header codes like pixels and stuff into links and that kind of stuff that you could use. You can actually, you have a subscription, a paid subscription, you can actually brand those domains to something I do guys, I just create my own link shortener like I’ve you know, I’ve done it with a couple of different domains. And I just added Pretty Link the plugin. And I use my own domain as a link shortener now Now, obviously, there’s not an inherent authority in that yet, but over time, it will build some. But you know, that’s what I’ve done. Marco, do you want to comment on that at all?

Marco: No, because I keep pushing Firebase.

Bradley: Yeah.

Marco: He says, besides Firebase to me, everything else is just I don’t know. Whatever.

Bradley: Okay, well, there you go. And there is a way to get good links out of Firebase guys. I just don’t know how to do it. Marco does but he won’t share it. So, unfortunately, you won’t hear that.

Is It Possible To Create A New Google Account And Build Drive Stacks And Point Everything To An Existing GMB And Client Website?

Ken says I have a client that has an established GMB but I’m not going to have access to the GMB or associated Google account. I already know what Marco would tell them. Anyway, is it possible to create a new Google account and build a driver a drive stack, Gsite, Youtube, @ID, etc. and point everything to the existing GMB and their website? Is it an issue doing it doing that from outside the Google account that’s not associated with the GMB? I mean, that’s your next best thing can In my opinion, I’ll let Marco comment on that. But, you know, it certainly, in my opinion, would be better if you could get access. But if you can’t, you can’t, then that would be this the next best thing Marco, what do you say?

Marco: I say that a client who won’t give me access to a GMB as a fire or former client? Yeah. I mean, I’m gonna I’m sorry, what? Why do you have to go to all of these extra steps. And if you do have to go extra steps, if they make you do all of this, I hope you’re charging enough to make it worth your time. Because you actually have to mirror whatever it is that they did on the GMB and that you have to try to push over from one hop instead of working in the golden frame right, so to speak, which is GMB, the GMB itself for the company and anything else associated with it just makes your job harder. Which, you know, I, I don’t understand that. And again, I won’t even deal with someone who says, Well, you can’t work on this GMB. Okay, then we just can’t work there.

Bradley: Yeah, I agree with that, if you have a client is making it hard for you to difficult to do your job, it actually puts you at a handicap right? A disadvantage. And so if that’s the case, you charge them a premium, you know, and I totally agree with that. And clear state that very clearly in your proposal, like, Look, if you give me access, I can charge you this much. But if I have to do everything, like the secret scroll route, right, like take the back door to get everything done, because you’re making it difficult for me to do my job, then I’m going to have to charge you premium because it’s more work more effort, more time, all that kind of stuff. So I agree with that. Totally. But yeah, I mean, lastly, as I said, you could, again, that’s still going to be a much slower route, and my opinion because it’s not the same entity. I mean, it’s not the same account, you can still push authority and all that, but it’s not the same.

Does Using A Tracking Phone Number To A Client’s GMB Listing Trigger Any Negative Reactions From Google?

Okay, Gordon’s up. Hey guys, thank you very much again for your hump days help. You’re welcome, as usual, is greatly appreciated. I presume that if you wanted to use a tracking phone number for client clients GMB listing, you could simply go back and edit the existing citations to replace the original number with the tracking number, but will doing that trigger any negative reactions from Google or make it more difficult to rank the listing in the three pack? Well, yes and no. It depends on how you do it because you can add additional phone numbers and GMB, he doesn’t have to just be one. So it depends on what you’re trying to track if all you’re trying to track is the phone numbers to the Google listing. Right and then you can add the tracking number as the primary number in the GMB and then move. Whatever the number digital number was to the secondary number in GMB and Google will know both numbers are there and associated with that GMB profile. So your existing citations, it will not cause an NAP issue because even though the published phone number in Google will be your tracking number and the citations will be the original phone number, Google knows because the original phone number is still part of the GMB. You haven’t listed inside the GMB but it just might not show as the published number. Google will know that it’s still part of the GMB itself right? It’s similar to service area businesses, right? Most business directories will not allow you to publish a listing without a street address. And we get that question a lot of people say well, now if service area businesses if Google does not allow you to publish your physical address your physical location in the service area businesses in the listing, you have to go clear that before you even add your service areas or else you can get a suspension in GMB. When people say, well, then can should I go publish citations or build citations with just city-state and zip as opposed to a street address, city, state, and zip? And no, because first of all, most directories aren’t going to allow you to have a listing unless you have a street address. But even if you do, I would recommend that you still have the street address showing in the directories because you want to make that association between that kind of push that same data, right, you want that data consistency. But what I’m saying is if so if you are building citations, your business directories most of them are going to require a street address but your GMB doesn’t show it doesn’t publish it. However, in order to verify the GMB you had to have had an address at some point, right? Because when you first set it up, it has to have an address or else it won’t allow you to even set it up. So Google understands and knows what physical location is associated with that business.

So when you build other citations out there, even though it’s an unpublished address, Google knows that that’s associated and pointing to that business. Right? That’s, that’s correct. So the same thing goes with the phone number, if you unpublished the original phone number, but you still leave it as part of the GMB because it’s still listed as a secondary phone number in the inside the dashboard, although it may not show in maps, then your citations are still going to be referencing that original number. And that shouldn’t be a problem. And I’ve done that, guys. That’s why I know that and if that’s all you’re trying to track is the calls to the GSB itself, then you can just add that tracking phone number as the primary phone number. Now if you want to track calls through all of the other places that the NAP is published, and yes, you’d have to go through and do a citation cleanup job, which is very tedious work, I would never recommend you do that on your own. Okay. So hopefully that makes sense. Now you might see up actually I’ve done it before not seen any movement at all. But typically if you do something sort of a change, you might see a little bit of dancing. But you know, as I said, I’ve done, I’ve changed. I’ve even changed business names, believe it or not in GMB or like upended like a city or and stuff like that to it in the past and not seen any movement. So, you know, again, I take that with a grain of salt, but you should if you’re as long as you’re keeping the original number, just as a secondary number, you shouldn’t have any problems.

Will Leaving An Old Site Online While Having A New Website More Helpful In Ranking A GMB Listing In 3-Pack?

Number two, if you create a new website that is more helpful in ranking the business, GMB listing, but leaves the old site online. Will that has any negative effect for ranking the three pack? Well, I would do a canonicalization. If you’re not going to 301 redirect the old to the new, then I would leave the new pot or the excuse me, the old still published online but I would set up canonical, which would be essentially it still would remain a published website Google says that a canonical URL won’t index they say typically will you know be removed from the index because your canonical your canonical points to where it should be packed. The credit to but that’s not it doesn’t always honor that like you’ll see a lot of the time stuff that does have a canonical still indexed. So that’s what I would do I would leave the site indexed or excuse me a live published with inset canonical URLs to your new site. You want to comment or add to that, Marco?

Adam: No.

Will A Brand New Domain Make It Harder To Rank A GMB Listing In 3-Pack?

Okay. Number three. Many thanks again, Gordon. Now, I don’t I mean, I don’t know because I don’t buy age domains to try to rank anymore. I stopped doing that years ago. So I haven’t tested that specifically with GMB stuff. But I can’t imagine that it would, I could be wrong. But typically, as I said, I’d rather go with a domain that I select the name of Like so that I can brand it after the business or the pseudo business, if it’s for lead gen, I want to create a brand. And if you have to buy a, you know an expired domain, because if you’re buying expired domain because it had some age and perhaps some backlinks built to it already, then you’re pretty much stuck using that particular name anyways, unless you just have a different company name altogether, but the URL or the domain doesn’t really jive or match with the brand name, which I don’t like that I’d rather have a brand a domain that matches the name of the company. That makes sense. So I don’t know I haven’t tested that specifically with GMB stuff. But I’d rather just use a new one that I was able to designate the name that I wanted select the name that I want it. Okay.

What Are The Benefits Of Cloudflare CDN Compared To Using Registrar?

Tasha is I bought your video lead gen system I’ve started going through it few questions I had were What’s the reason to set up cloud flare CDN benefits over using registrar also not sure if later in the course you go over how to approach local clients. You don’t have lead gen properties. But you offer other SEO types of services. Yeah, you obviously haven’t been through all the training. I always use Cloud player just for DNS because it allows me to do a lot of additional things that, you know, I just like cloud players a DNS third-party DNS service, you don’t have to use it. You can use your registrar DNS if you’d like. It’s entirely up to you. You know, DNS is just a tool, right? It’s just something that you would use, you can use Cloudflare if you want. Use your domain registrar, if you want to use another DNS service you want it really doesn’t matter. So that’s insignificant. Do whatever makes you happy.

Does Video Lead Gen System Teach You How To Approach Local Clients?

Do I go through how you approach other local clients? Yes, that’s like module two. There’s the first module where I talk about specifically using targeting service providers for monetizing lead gen assets. But then module two I talked about how to use the same methods to approach clients. I talked about approaching clients to sell them GMB marketing services, but you can apply it. And again, this is in the training, you can apply that same method to, for whatever services you provide, whether it’s Facebook ads or video marketing or whatever services you provide, you just modify the messaging to whatever it is that you provide. That’s it, it’s the, it’s the method that I wanted to teach, right? That the processes or the services that I provide may be different than yours, and that’s perfectly fine. So you just have to apply the method or modify the method to fit your specific products and services, that’s all okay. But it’s an effective method to and stick Go. Go all the way through the training, make sure that you implement some of the advanced strategies because that’s really how you get the best results. It’s through the follow-up guys. Remember, video lead gen system was all about getting a conversation started. Once the conversation gets started or contact has been made, and they engage or interact with your, your emails, then that’s it’s all in the follow-up. Like that’s how you get you convert them it’s all in the follow up and you can do that through manually reaching out to them when you receive notification that they’ve engaged with your content through you can call them you can send them immediate follow up emails when you get notified that they’ve engaged don’t just stop with one by the way, you know, send them a call or a email immediately following their you know, notification that they’ve engaged but if they don’t reply don’t give up send it you know, hit them two or three days later again with another message Hey, just wanted to follow up. Find out if you had a chance to see my video blah blah, blah, and send them a call send them I went through this I even talked about this on a hump day hangout I think last week or the week before where you can even do things like setting up voice, voicemail drop brainless voicemail, so and you can automate these guys to where when they engage with your emails, it can automatically send them based upon whatever rules you set to trigger it, you can send them a ring lyst voicemail, so a voicemail will get inserted into their phone without ever ringing. Hey, this is Bradley, I just wanted to follow up to find out if you had a chance to watch the video and take a look at what I offer, you know that kind of stuff. Right? Then you can send direct mail like and you can automate this stuff, guys, I talked about this on free Hump Day hangouts like a week or two ago. So you can go back and watch the replay from a week or two ago and you’ll see exactly what I’m talking about. And I added that by the way to the training. So it’s in the advanced module, the advanced strategy module. But you can trigger an automatic direct mail postcard to go out or a letter that you know what I’m saying. So these are all things that you set up guys and it’s all about the follow-up. Don’t think that you’re going to go out, create a landing page, put a video on it, send out a few video emails and your all your client needs are going to be met. Like that’s not how this works. It requires work and follow up, but it’s a unique way to get their attention.

Once you’ve got their attention, then it’s all about following up until they’re ready to contact you back. You’ve really got to earn build trust, build rapport. And that’s how you do it. Because remember, guys, businesses are getting absolutely hammered relentlessly with solicitations from advertising and marketing companies 24 hours a day, seven days a week. So don’t think that just having a video email is going to be your like you’re done. You’re you’ve out, you know, outworked, all of the other solicitors out there. That’s not the case you have to stay be unique in your approach. And in follow up in a unique way, right, which is why I talked about doing voiceless ring or ring this voicemail, excuse me, and doing direct mail and sending follow-ups when you know that they’ve opened or engaged with one of your emails. Like those are the kind of things that will set you apart from your competitors from the other solicitors out there. Ok. So again, all in the follow-up. Adam knows that

Scott’s up. We’re almost out of time and we’re almost out of questions. You guys have been short on questions lately, but it’s all right. We can wrap up early. Scott says I missed her on Facebook training. Will there be more on Facebook or will it be included in the mastermind? It’s in the mastermind, Scott. Looking forward to more GMB training. Yeah, it’s in the mastermind. We did it in the mastermind. There will be some additional training in there. Probably after we do the next GMB launch or you know, the with the new version, the new methods, we’re going to be doing some probably some training on ads because I’ve been doing a lot of Google Ad stuff. That’s why Hernan came in and did some training on Facebook ads on how to use that stuff. Okay.

Okay, Scott says shout out for the MGYB services order the small links package and the results are excellent. 3500 links from nice web two. or excuse me web two articles. Yeah, they’re great guys. Like I’m telling you that link service has been customized and design and tested thoroughly for years, specifically to power up our tier one assets. I mean, like Daddea has a custom built a beautiful, beautiful link building packages that work incredibly well for powering up syndication networks, drive stacks, citations. You know, press releases, @ID pages, all of these things that we teach as tier one assets. We do all the nasty SEO stuff to the tier one assets never direct to the money sites. And the SEO packages or the link building packages, excuse me, that Daddea has built have been custom built specifically for our methods and they work incredibly well. So like hands down, it should be like I was making a joke about this earlier but do you want fries with that? Right like when you go through a drive-thru you want fries with that? Well, do you want links with that? Like it should be that’s what we should ask. syndication networks he wants to do you want links with that, you know, drive stack, you want to link to that. Because it works really, really well.

Marco: I got disconnected for a second Sorry, guys. But I’d like to give a shout out to the MGYB link building services to Daddea is awesome. And the way that he did it is everything is niche-related relevant so that when you order a package for what whether you’re local or e-commerce or whatever it is, he has a relevant network for it. It’s just millions and millions of profiles that he has built up. And you have to remember how long was he with you before Semantic Mastery, Bradley?

Bradley: Oh, shit, probably. Well, he was with me for full time for at least a year, a year and a half but for probably two years because he worked for me for about six months. And then I hired him full time. And then we launched Semantic Mastery and he ended up going out on his own and now he’s a contractor for us, but he runs his own entire company’s own agency essentially.

Marco: Right. So he’s been link building for about seven years. Yeah, and that’s all he does. That’s his business. That’s it. That’s what he has his employer is doing that this is where he concentrates most he does other stuff. Guys, don’t get me wrong, but I mean, his main focus is this link building service that he’s provided. And I can remember three or four years ago when we started talking about the link relevant packages, right to be niche relevant packages and how we needed to build all of these networks. That had to be, you know, focused on on the different niches and to give people the option to be able to get links that were relevant, because we had already seen the beginnings of what I call A-R-T, right activity, relevance, trust, and authority. And we saw how links from relevant sources were much more powerful than just orphaned links that really didn’t mean anything, especially when the ranking score algorithm and the distance graph came into effect. So shout out to Dahlia, and everything that he’s doing because it’s working like gangbusters right now. It’s ridiculous what he’s done.

Bradley: Yeah. It’s um, it’s almost like the easy button because it really does it powers everything up. It’s just crazy. And I like it because all I gotta do is submit the URLs and a list of keywords and then he does all the rest. That’s it. I mean, it’s that easy. So, all right,

What Are Some Ways To Increase Proximity Radius For Keywords Besides Geotagged Images?

Leon says, excuse me, and we got to wrap it up in a couple of minutes guys. Besides geotagged images, what are some ways to increase your proximity radius for keywords well content besides the geotagged images? It’s marketing and using you know content marketing and using the terms that you want and the locations as you know, the names of the cities and the locations that you want to rank in as well will generate leads from right so I mean, for example, guys, I’ve talked about this in the past, but the near me keywords if you’re doing again, you know, almost everything I do is for contractors. But if I go into GMB sites I see all the time like 40-50% of the search queries and GMB Insights that have brought exposure to that maps listing has have come from near me or variations of the near me type of key search query.

So near me close by in my area close to me, you know, those type of search queries they pop up all the time now. And that’s because Google suggests them, right. And so for mobile devices, especially people taught tap it because it’s suggested and it’s usually one of the top suggested search queries in suggesting. So people tap them and so it’s naturally is providing a lot of traffic now a lot of exposure. So how can you utilize the near me keywords as well as locations, right? Because if you want to influence and so I’ve always done really simply, and I’ve taught this and some of the courses but like, you put as a GMB post, for example, and you can do this in blog posts to guys and press releases and things like that you can target the near me search queries and how do you do it in a way that it reads? Well, well, you could say like for a GMB posts I like to use the first line of the post saying Did you just search for and then you put in quotes you know plumber near me or emergency plumber near me and then you put an end quote right and then you put the city name in whatever city so we are doing an example earlier for plumber Fairfax. So did you just search for a plumber near me and Fairfax? Right question mark so now that reads well and now you’ve got your keyword in the near me keyword which is generating a shit ton of traffic anyways and you’ve got the city that you want to promote that you want to get better results from more leads from rank better whatever you’ve got the city name in there upended essentially there are direct you know in close proximity to the near me keyword search query. So my point is that’s how you do it guys. And you can also make sure that you’re not only geotagging images, but you’re using those types of keywords and like the alt text, you can add those keywords in the metadata of the images as well. Does that make sense? So just, you know, geotagged images, especially images that from those areas like taken from phones and or devices that have GPS enabled, taking photos that are that have, you know, buildings and things like remember guys, Google has Street View, and Google Earth and all that kind of stuff. So you can get images that Google will recognize within that, that are from that area to use those and then use those types of keyword search queries. And that’s one of the things like Google gives you the keys to the kingdom. I always thought it was funny that if you go to insights, and you right click or, you know, highlight, excuse me, drag, you know, drag and highlight all of the keywords and insights and just paste them into an Excel file or Google Sheets. Then in the one column, you’re going to have all the search queries that have brought exposure to the maps listing. And if you start targeting those in GMB posts, you get more exposure for those keywords. I always thought that was funny because it’s like Google is telling you hey, here are the keywords that are bringing you exposure.

Maps, if you target these, we’re going to give you more exposure. And always thought that was funny, but it’s true. And so you can and again, you can manipulate those by a pending different location modifier is to those keywords, especially near me keywords and it works really well. Okay.

All right. Um, let’s see, I presume it’s useful to put all the Yelp URLs in the Google stack, right? I don’t know, Marco might be able to answer that. I would think that would be a little bit too many. That’s a lot of damn URLs. But that’s up to Marco. Can you comment on that? Have you seen our spreadsheet? We put anything and everything in it. There you go. He goes in there to syndication Academy, anything and everything that you can get in there you go, the link building becomes a whole lot easier. There you go. Because you can put it, Yeah, and that makes sense. You can put all these into a spreadsheet and hit the spreadsheet, like with the kitchen sink, you know, and you’re going to power all those up through an iframe through a drive a Google Drive File. So.

okay, Stevens. I was at Semantic Mastery member for many months but then had to quit long story I’m thinking of coming back and if I come back and get and get the new video email sales course you are offering as well or do I have to buy that separately? No, it’s part of mastermind, Stephen. If you have any questions about that specifically, just reach out to support at Semantic Mastery calm, and video lead gen system is one of the courses that is is available to you as a mastermind member without an additional charge. We do have slightly different processes to how and when products or other courses are released. But that’s just to help you to get you know, to stay focused instead of dumping like 18 products on you all at once that overwhelms people we’ve learned that actually turns people off. So we do have kind of a slightly different process. But if that’s something specifically that interests you that you want to get as part of joining mastermind, again, just contact support, we’ll work it out with you. Okay, we just did that for a new member. We have a new member Anna, who just joined a couple of days ago, welcome and by the way, and she requested the same thing and we were able to give it to her

Alright, last question. We’re done. g by the way, I’m calling Eugene from now on. He’s a new mastermind member. He just joined last Wednesday right after Hump Day Hangouts. So welcome. Or maybe it was too into anyways, it was recently I think it was last Wednesday. And since I don’t know how to pronounce your name, and I’m probably butchering it, I’m just going to call you g from now on. So,

welcome to the mastermind. Again, g says whoops, Yelp co.uk can be iframe and the link from it is do follow to the money site. So I presume it’s also a good candidate for Google to the Google site, ad ID and so on. You’re absolutely right.

Absolutely. Right.

So and guys think about that. That’s the other thing, just really quickly, let’s just grab that Yelp URL, and I’ll show you can embed these right. So for example, see how it says in bed Well, you can share the review and that gives you the review URL. But we talked about iframe is all the time. And this is what the embed preview looks like. Right? So you can actually grab that embed URL or that embed code and put that in a, you know, g side and an ID page wherever you want. And that’s a, an iframe that comes back here to the Yelp page, right? And so you can use that and it looks nice, right? It looks like this. And you can actually embed those into stuff. And then like I said, hammer that and if it says, read more on Yelp, what’s it What is that? That’s a link that comes back to this Yelp listing, right. So those are again, we talked about iframe stacking, and RYS Academy and in the mastermind and that kind of stuff. That’s all the things that you can do. So that was a good observation on your part, G.

Alright, guys, five o’clock. We’re wrapping it up. Thanks, everybody, for sticking around. We’ll see you guys next week. No mastermind this week. So Bye, everybody.

Weekly Digital Marketing Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 235 syndicated from https://medium.com/@SpanishFly

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beyondvapepage · 5 years

Text

Weekly Digital Marketing Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 235

youtube

Click on the video above to watch Episode 235 of the Semantic Mastery Hump Day Hangouts.

Full timestamps with topics and times can be found at the link above.

The latest upcoming free SEO Q&A Hump Day Hangout can be found at http://semanticmastery.com/humpday.

Announcement

Adam: I like your shirt. You got your Semantic Mastery shirt on

Hernan: I got the Oh gee, you’re on Yeah. So it’s good to be here man and a lot of good stuff coming up. I’m really excited to be here some good stuff.

Adam: Well, you did. Speaking of good stuff, you did some training for the Mastermind not too long ago, right?

Facebook Training With Hernan

Bradley: Very cool.

Adam: Awesome. Alright, moving down the line. Marco. How are you doing?

Marco: I’m gonna crack open my beer

Bradley: starting early huh?

Adam: That’s awesome. Yeah, I was doing my sneaky finger back here but yeah, yeah, good setup better, Bradley. How are you doing man?

Hernan: Got you. Don’t just don’t break anything.

Bradley: Don’t touch, don’t touch.

Marco: Nah, we’re just gonna try to break it.

Bradley: enough said.

Adam: Alright guys, anything else? Are we ready to get into it?

Bradley: I think we can get into it.

Adam: All right, let’s do it.

Yelp Ranking & Link Building Technique

Okay, anybody wants to comment on that? Or can we move into questions?

Adam: I think we’re good.

Bradley: Okay. Moving on.

Is There A Way To Delete Add Redo A Google My Business Listing?

Is There A Link Shortener That You Recommend Besides Firebase?

Marco: No, because I keep pushing Firebase.

Bradley: Yeah.

Marco: He says, besides Firebase to me, everything else is just I don’t know. Whatever.

Is It Possible To Create A New Google Account And Build Drive Stacks And Point Everything To An Existing GMB And Client Website?

Does Using A Tracking Phone Number To A Client’s GMB Listing Trigger Any Negative Reactions From Google?

Will Leaving An Old Site Online While Having A New Website More Helpful In Ranking A GMB Listing In 3-Pack?

Adam: No.

Will A Brand New Domain Make It Harder To Rank A GMB Listing In 3-Pack?

What Are The Benefits Of Cloudflare CDN Compared To Using Registrar?

Does Video Lead Gen System Teach You How To Approach Local Clients?

What Are Some Ways To Increase Proximity Radius For Keywords Besides Geotagged Images?

Absolutely. Right.

Alright, guys, five o'clock. We’re wrapping it up. Thanks, everybody, for sticking around. We’ll see you guys next week. No mastermind this week. So Bye, everybody.

Weekly Digital Marketing Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 235 posted first on http://beyondvapepage.blogspot.com

0 notes

daynamartinez22 · 5 years

Text

Weekly Digital Marketing Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 235

youtube

Click on the video above to watch Episode 235 of the Semantic Mastery Hump Day Hangouts.

Full timestamps with topics and times can be found at the link above.

The latest upcoming free SEO Q&A Hump Day Hangout can be found at http://semanticmastery.com/humpday.

Announcement

Adam: I like your shirt. You got your Semantic Mastery shirt on

Hernan: I got the Oh gee, you’re on Yeah. So it’s good to be here man and a lot of good stuff coming up. I’m really excited to be here some good stuff.

Adam: Well, you did. Speaking of good stuff, you did some training for the Mastermind not too long ago, right?

Facebook Training With Hernan

Bradley: Very cool.

Adam: Awesome. Alright, moving down the line. Marco. How are you doing?

Marco: I’m gonna crack open my beer

Bradley: starting early huh?

Adam: That’s awesome. Yeah, I was doing my sneaky finger back here but yeah, yeah, good setup better, Bradley. How are you doing man?

Hernan: Got you. Don’t just don’t break anything.

Bradley: Don’t touch, don’t touch.

Marco: Nah, we’re just gonna try to break it.

Bradley: enough said.

Adam: Alright guys, anything else? Are we ready to get into it?

Bradley: I think we can get into it.

Adam: All right, let’s do it.

Yelp Ranking & Link Building Technique

Okay, anybody wants to comment on that? Or can we move into questions?

Adam: I think we’re good.

Bradley: Okay. Moving on.

Is There A Way To Delete Add Redo A Google My Business Listing?

Is There A Link Shortener That You Recommend Besides Firebase?

Marco: No, because I keep pushing Firebase.

Bradley: Yeah.

Marco: He says, besides Firebase to me, everything else is just I don’t know. Whatever.

Is It Possible To Create A New Google Account And Build Drive Stacks And Point Everything To An Existing GMB And Client Website?

Does Using A Tracking Phone Number To A Client’s GMB Listing Trigger Any Negative Reactions From Google?

Will Leaving An Old Site Online While Having A New Website More Helpful In Ranking A GMB Listing In 3-Pack?

Adam: No.

Will A Brand New Domain Make It Harder To Rank A GMB Listing In 3-Pack?

What Are The Benefits Of Cloudflare CDN Compared To Using Registrar?

Does Video Lead Gen System Teach You How To Approach Local Clients?

What Are Some Ways To Increase Proximity Radius For Keywords Besides Geotagged Images?

Absolutely. Right.

Alright, guys, five o'clock. We’re wrapping it up. Thanks, everybody, for sticking around. We’ll see you guys next week. No mastermind this week. So Bye, everybody.

Weekly Digital Marketing Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 235 published first on your-t1-blog-url

0 notes

pledje · 5 years

Text

Weekly Digital Marketing Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 235

youtube

Click on the video above to watch Episode 235 of the Semantic Mastery Hump Day Hangouts.

Full timestamps with topics and times can be found at the link above.

The latest upcoming free SEO Q&A Hump Day Hangout can be found at http://semanticmastery.com/humpday.

Announcement

Adam: I like your shirt. You got your Semantic Mastery shirt on

Hernan: I got the Oh gee, you’re on Yeah. So it’s good to be here man and a lot of good stuff coming up. I’m really excited to be here some good stuff.

Adam: Well, you did. Speaking of good stuff, you did some training for the Mastermind not too long ago, right?

Facebook Training With Hernan

Bradley: Very cool.

Adam: Awesome. Alright, moving down the line. Marco. How are you doing?

Marco: I’m gonna crack open my beer

Bradley: starting early huh?

Adam: That’s awesome. Yeah, I was doing my sneaky finger back here but yeah, yeah, good setup better, Bradley. How are you doing man?

Hernan: Got you. Don’t just don’t break anything.

Bradley: Don’t touch, don’t touch.

Marco: Nah, we’re just gonna try to break it.

Bradley: enough said.

Adam: Alright guys, anything else? Are we ready to get into it?

Bradley: I think we can get into it.

Adam: All right, let’s do it.

Yelp Ranking & Link Building Technique

Okay, anybody wants to comment on that? Or can we move into questions?

Adam: I think we’re good.

Bradley: Okay. Moving on.

Is There A Way To Delete Add Redo A Google My Business Listing?

Is There A Link Shortener That You Recommend Besides Firebase?

Marco: No, because I keep pushing Firebase.

Bradley: Yeah.

Marco: He says, besides Firebase to me, everything else is just I don’t know. Whatever.

Is It Possible To Create A New Google Account And Build Drive Stacks And Point Everything To An Existing GMB And Client Website?

Does Using A Tracking Phone Number To A Client’s GMB Listing Trigger Any Negative Reactions From Google?

Will Leaving An Old Site Online While Having A New Website More Helpful In Ranking A GMB Listing In 3-Pack?

Adam: No.

Will A Brand New Domain Make It Harder To Rank A GMB Listing In 3-Pack?

What Are The Benefits Of Cloudflare CDN Compared To Using Registrar?

Does Video Lead Gen System Teach You How To Approach Local Clients?

What Are Some Ways To Increase Proximity Radius For Keywords Besides Geotagged Images?

Absolutely. Right.

Alright, guys, five o'clock. We’re wrapping it up. Thanks, everybody, for sticking around. We’ll see you guys next week. No mastermind this week. So Bye, everybody.

Weekly Digital Marketing Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 235 published first on your-t1-blog-url

0 notes

angelagiles18 · 5 years

Text

Weekly Digital Marketing Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 235

youtube

Click on the video above to watch Episode 235 of the Semantic Mastery Hump Day Hangouts.

Full timestamps with topics and times can be found at the link above.

The latest upcoming free SEO Q&A Hump Day Hangout can be found at http://semanticmastery.com/humpday.

Announcement

Adam: I like your shirt. You got your Semantic Mastery shirt on

Hernan: I got the Oh gee, you’re on Yeah. So it’s good to be here man and a lot of good stuff coming up. I’m really excited to be here some good stuff.

Adam: Well, you did. Speaking of good stuff, you did some training for the Mastermind not too long ago, right?

Facebook Training With Hernan

Bradley: Very cool.

Adam: Awesome. Alright, moving down the line. Marco. How are you doing?

Marco: I’m gonna crack open my beer

Bradley: starting early huh?

Adam: That’s awesome. Yeah, I was doing my sneaky finger back here but yeah, yeah, good setup better, Bradley. How are you doing man?

Hernan: Got you. Don’t just don’t break anything.

Bradley: Don’t touch, don’t touch.

Marco: Nah, we’re just gonna try to break it.

Bradley: enough said.

Adam: Alright guys, anything else? Are we ready to get into it?

Bradley: I think we can get into it.

Adam: All right, let’s do it.

Yelp Ranking & Link Building Technique

Okay, anybody wants to comment on that? Or can we move into questions?

Adam: I think we’re good.

Bradley: Okay. Moving on.

Is There A Way To Delete Add Redo A Google My Business Listing?

Is There A Link Shortener That You Recommend Besides Firebase?

Marco: No, because I keep pushing Firebase.

Bradley: Yeah.

Marco: He says, besides Firebase to me, everything else is just I don’t know. Whatever.

Is It Possible To Create A New Google Account And Build Drive Stacks And Point Everything To An Existing GMB And Client Website?

Does Using A Tracking Phone Number To A Client’s GMB Listing Trigger Any Negative Reactions From Google?

Will Leaving An Old Site Online While Having A New Website More Helpful In Ranking A GMB Listing In 3-Pack?

Adam: No.

Will A Brand New Domain Make It Harder To Rank A GMB Listing In 3-Pack?

What Are The Benefits Of Cloudflare CDN Compared To Using Registrar?

Does Video Lead Gen System Teach You How To Approach Local Clients?

What Are Some Ways To Increase Proximity Radius For Keywords Besides Geotagged Images?

Absolutely. Right.

Alright, guys, five o'clock. We’re wrapping it up. Thanks, everybody, for sticking around. We’ll see you guys next week. No mastermind this week. So Bye, everybody.

Weekly Digital Marketing Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 235 published first on your-t1-blog-url http://bit.ly/1WMpNvB May 13, 2019 at 08:35PM Semantic Mastery http://bit.ly/2vg4Or5

0 notes

localwebmgmt · 5 years

Text

Weekly Digital Marketing Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 235

youtube

Click on the video above to watch Episode 235 of the Semantic Mastery Hump Day Hangouts.

Full timestamps with topics and times can be found at the link above.

The latest upcoming free SEO Q&A Hump Day Hangout can be found at http://semanticmastery.com/humpday.

Announcement

Adam: I like your shirt. You got your Semantic Mastery shirt on

Hernan: I got the Oh gee, you’re on Yeah. So it’s good to be here man and a lot of good stuff coming up. I’m really excited to be here some good stuff.

Adam: Well, you did. Speaking of good stuff, you did some training for the Mastermind not too long ago, right?

Facebook Training With Hernan

Bradley: Very cool.

Adam: Awesome. Alright, moving down the line. Marco. How are you doing?

Marco: I’m gonna crack open my beer

Bradley: starting early huh?

Adam: That’s awesome. Yeah, I was doing my sneaky finger back here but yeah, yeah, good setup better, Bradley. How are you doing man?

Hernan: Got you. Don’t just don’t break anything.

Bradley: Don’t touch, don’t touch.

Marco: Nah, we’re just gonna try to break it.

Bradley: enough said.

Adam: Alright guys, anything else? Are we ready to get into it?

Bradley: I think we can get into it.

Adam: All right, let’s do it.

Yelp Ranking & Link Building Technique

Okay, anybody wants to comment on that? Or can we move into questions?

Adam: I think we’re good.

Bradley: Okay. Moving on.

Is There A Way To Delete Add Redo A Google My Business Listing?

Is There A Link Shortener That You Recommend Besides Firebase?

Marco: No, because I keep pushing Firebase.

Bradley: Yeah.

Marco: He says, besides Firebase to me, everything else is just I don’t know. Whatever.

Is It Possible To Create A New Google Account And Build Drive Stacks And Point Everything To An Existing GMB And Client Website?

Does Using A Tracking Phone Number To A Client’s GMB Listing Trigger Any Negative Reactions From Google?

Will Leaving An Old Site Online While Having A New Website More Helpful In Ranking A GMB Listing In 3-Pack?

Adam: No.

Will A Brand New Domain Make It Harder To Rank A GMB Listing In 3-Pack?

What Are The Benefits Of Cloudflare CDN Compared To Using Registrar?

Does Video Lead Gen System Teach You How To Approach Local Clients?

Marco: Right. So he’s been link building for about seven years. Yeah, and that’s all he does. That’s his business. That’s it. That’s what he has his employer is doing that this is where he concentrates most he does other stuff. Guys, don’t get me wrong, but I mean, his main focus is this link building service that he’s provided. And I can remember three or four years ago when we started talking about the link relevant packages, right to be niche relevant packages and how we needed to build all of these networks. That had to be, you know, focused on on the different niches and to give people the option to be able to get links that were relevant, because we had already seen the beginnings of what I call A-R-T, right activity, relevance, trust, and authority. And we saw how links from relevant sources were much more powerful than just orphaned links that really didn’t mean anything, especially when the ranking score algorithm and the distance graph came into effect. So shout out to Dahlia, and everything that he��s doing because it’s working like gangbusters right now. It’s ridiculous what he’s done.

What Are Some Ways To Increase Proximity Radius For Keywords Besides Geotagged Images?

Absolutely. Right.

Alright, guys, five o'clock. We’re wrapping it up. Thanks, everybody, for sticking around. We’ll see you guys next week. No mastermind this week. So Bye, everybody.

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Weekly Digital Marketing Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 235

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Click on the video above to watch Episode 235 of the Semantic Mastery Hump Day Hangouts.

Full timestamps with topics and times can be found at the link above.

The latest upcoming free SEO Q&A Hump Day Hangout can be found at http://semanticmastery.com/humpday.

Announcement

Adam: Alright, we are live! Welcome everybody to Hump Day hangouts Episode 235. Today is the eighth of May 2019. And just want to say first of all, thank you for watching. Whether you're watching us live at https://www.semanticmastery.com/hdquestions, or if you're checking out the replay on YouTube or wherever the heck you are. Just want to say you know, a lot of times we get asked where to start with Semantic Mastery. This is the place to do it. You can ask questions, again at https://www.semanticmastery.com/hdquestions. But secondly, you should grab the Battle Plan and you can find out more about that https://battleplan.semanticmastery.com. If you're ready to take things up several notches and you want to either start or grow your local digital marketing agency, you should join this Semantic Mastery Mastermind You can find out more about that at https://mastermind.semanticmastery.com. So with that little bit out of the way, we got almost a full group here. We got four out of the five of us. So we're going to go through and say a little hello. And I'm going to start with Hernan because he looks like he's eaten. What's up, man?

Hernan: Hey, dude, it's good to see you for change, you know? We're not running in the woods and whatnot and it's good to see you back and have the Hangout so everybody. I'm just messing with you. I like you.

Adam: I like your shirt. You got your Semantic Mastery shirt on

Hernan: I got the Oh gee, you're on Yeah. So it's good to be here man and a lot of good stuff coming up. I'm really excited to be here some good stuff.

Adam: Well, you did. Speaking of good stuff, you did some training for the Mastermind not too long ago, right?

Facebook Training With Hernan

Hernan: Correct. Yeah, we did actually we went deep into lead ads, how to target for Facebook, you know, my kind of my material and my stuff is Facebook. So and I've been doing Facebook for a while and I show the guys mostly you know how to target specific areas on local, and specifically, we went into how to target those services that are hard to target on Facebook, like for instance, injury attorney or emergency plumber or tree Service. Like, how do you target them? And how do you target those people? Right. And then we went into that it was pretty cool. And then got a couple questions on our Facebook group that we have to it was cool. And I would you know, if there's a demand for it, we will definitely, you know, expand the content that's on there. And we can even do like a step by step thing on Facebook ads. And yeah, now it was pretty cool. Pretty cool.

Bradley: If I made briefly because I've had an aversion to Facebook for years. I've never had any desire to do it Facebook ads, but I'm actually in the process of setting up my first ads account what I've tested it in the past, but like I got tired of it immediately. So I never really followed through. But after her non-straining, I said okay, it's time I'm, you know, dabble a bit in. So, believe it or not, it was good. I mean, her, not his training was enough to finally convinced me to use it. Because it looks like being able to use Facebook ads for local leads is gotten a lot better than it used to be. And so there's really no reason why I shouldn't also know how to do that. So, honestly, thanks. Thanks, Hernan and I will certainly be leaning on you for some advice as I get the campaign further developed.

Hernan: For sure. Yeah. 100% and you know, to mention that and I'll finish with this, Facebook just launched a new campaign objective which is called store visits. So whenever you have a client that has a store like I don't know a dentist or not, not people that will go out and serve other people you know, in the clients place but rather the clients that are customers go to their locations, Facebook is setting that up so that they will know when somebody goes into stores just by GPS if they have you know if they have like 4G or whatever, like they have their GPS open on their phone, they will know so you can entice store visit and store visits on Facebook, which is pretty cool. So I'm still testing that new that but there's a lot of stuff going on for locals which is pretty cool.

Bradley: Very cool.

Adam: Awesome. Alright, moving down the line. Marco. How are you doing?

Marco: I'm gonna crack open my beer

Bradley: starting early huh?

Marco: A toast for OGs everywhere man, I'm almost 16 years online. So I know I was a bit late, right 2003, 2004 because the web had already been on for quite a while but I mean back then, it was the wild wild west and you really had to be on your toes to get but I mean there's so much money to be made back then. And you know how they say in fashion, everything that was old is new again. Because it'll kind of filters back. That's what I'm seeing right now. I keep telling people like it's the way it was back then. How it was to make money. You just got more links to them. The other guy didn't you outrank them and you just piled a ton of keywords in the anchor text. And so you got really good rankings. And if you did a little bit more manipulation, then it was more money. That's the way it is right now. Google has tried to obfuscate the playing field. They've tried to trick people into thinking that it's something that you need a Ph.D. for. Their coders might need master's degrees and PhDs but we don't. Because we simplify, we filter it down. That's what we do in our Mastermind. That's what we do. And in our paid groups, we filter it right. It's like pouring a cup of coffee, you go through a lot of steps to end up with a good cup of coffee, but the process for making the cause it's really simple, hot water through the grounds and you get the just great cup of coffee, but that's the way it is now you filter out all the bullshit. And you get this great big pile of money, guys. It's never been easier. Well, let's say I don't know how I'm gonna stick to that it has never been easier to make money online than it is right now and so from beautiful Costa Rica to the rest of you guys, keep working on that POFU path man. It's POFU for bus cuz all you get in the middle is a big fat What? I'll leave it at that.

Adam: That's awesome. Yeah, I was doing my sneaky finger back here but yeah, yeah, good setup better, Bradley. How are you doing man?

Bradley: Good. I'm happy to be here. I have another Facebook thing to mention is I was trying to set a new page up in Google our business Google See I always just revert to Google but Facebook Business Manager so that I could run ads to it. Well, I had a business manager account, but apparently, it was disabled for running ads because it stayed inactive for a long time and I didn't know that until after I'd had a new page to it. And I tried to once I realized that I couldn't run ads to it, I said, Okay, well, let me delete this page from the business manager. Well, apparently, the business manager ends up owning the page. So when you delete the page from business manager, you like delete your admin access to the page. And I didn't know that. So again, I'm not much of a Facebook user. And I was the only admin of the page but it removed me. And so then it was like an orphan page, there were no admins at all, no managers. And so I contacted Facebook support and said, help, you know, I need access to my page and they made me print out like or type out a what they call it a declaration of like, and it had like, all these different steps of who I was, I had to provide photo ID, who I was, what my relationship was to the page and to the business to the other admins of the page, which there were none. I had to put this declaration under penalty of perjury that I was who I said I was and then go get this thing notarized in order to get access to my page again. So moral The story is, if you don't know what you're doing, get help first. And don't ever delete yourself as an admin from a page if you're the only admin because they'll make you jump through hoops. But long story short, I did get access back to it again, it was just it was a nightmare. But it was pretty important because it was crazy because I went ahead and added another created another page because I was like, screw it. I'm not going through all that I'll create another page. But I couldn't use the same slug or page name, you know, the page URL, the username, I guess. And also like, for whatever reason, that page that was orphaned and now was ranking for like the company name and like the other one wasn't. So I just went through all the hoops that they've jumped through but now I think I'm ready to start advertising but that's why I said Hernan I'm going to lean on you buddy. Because I have a feeling I'll screw something else up if I don't.

Hernan: Got you. Don't just don't break anything.

Bradley: Don't touch, don't touch.

Adam: Well, we got a couple more things we want to cover. Before we get into the questions. First of all, we've been adding more and more done for you services at mgyb.co. If you haven't been over there, head over just again is mgyb.co for your premium done for you, SEO Services not going to run through the laundry list. There's a lot of really great services you got syndication networks, RYS stacks, all sorts of stuff. Go over there and check it out. And if you're checking this out on YouTube or even if you're not, head over to YouTube, check out Semantic Mastery subscribe to the channel. If you come across clips you like or they'll be helpful share them with people. We're definitely trying to grow the channel and help people out to we get a lot of feedback that that's a really helpful place for people to go and, you know, get answers basically their questions. And then last but certainly not least, want to tell everyone about a special opportunity coming up soon. We're going to have early an early access opportunity to some advanced training to the successor to Local GMB Pro so I don't know Bradley are you guys if you want to talk a little bit about that. I know we're still kind of in the secret phase of this, but I wanted to let people know that that's coming up so they can start to plan to be involved in that.

Bradley: I'll go first. Yeah, so we're going to do kind of like an update or the successor version 2.0, whatever the bigger, badder, better version of Local GMB Pro, where it's going to incorporate more than just GMB assets, which is what we did originally because it was rather new at the time. And we were able to get significant results with just staying within the Google ecosystem. However, the reality is, most clients obviously are going to have self-hosted web sites and they're going to have a presence across multiple other digital properties. Facebook, you know, citations like Yelp, for example, which by the way, I'm going to do a little bit of Yelp training today guys, briefly before we get into questions too, but most clients, okay, if you're just building lead gen ss, it was perfectly fine to stay within the GMB ecosystem or the Google ecosystem. Excuse me.

But when it comes to doing like client work, typically or for running like a real business, for the most part, you're going to end up having a self-hosted website, you're going to have multiple social media properties syndication networks basically have, you know, just a presence on a lot of other properties. And we want to be able to incorporate all of that into the new training, which is going to show how to use Google and Google My Business to help get better results for everything, your digital presence across the board. And so that's really what we're going to be doing. Robin, Marco, you know, Marco always puts mad scientists cap on and goes deep into the lab and starts trying to break shit. And then that's where we develop products most of the time. So he and Rob are going back into the lab, essentially, and they're in there now like starting to figure out other stuff plus a lot of stuff that we've learned over the last many months especially with scaling the GMB stuff that we're going to incorporate into the new training. And we're going to do it in a slightly different model this way, and that's what Adam was alluding to. We have an opportunity for people to come in kind of an early bird special, where we're going to do live training and live updates via webinar over the course of several weeks. And we've got a couple of case studies going on as well, that will be a not just us too, we've also got some of our members like our Mastermind members, essentially, that are doing case studies.

So there will be some diversity, as it won't just be us teaching shit, there will be case studies from some of our members that are applying what they're learning. So it'll be slightly different. It's going to be kind of a new format, how we produce that training. At the end of it, it's obviously going to be all packaged up and sold as a product. But if anybody wants to come kind of real-time, follow along through the process as we're developing the product and recording the training and that kind of stuff and through the webinars and get access to directly to us for QA and those kinds of things. That would be the best time would be to come in on the early bird side of it like through the presale offer that we're going to give we're going to make available here shortly. Marco, do you want to comment on it?

Marco: Nah, we're just gonna try to break it.

Bradley: enough said.

Adam: Alright guys, anything else? Are we ready to get into it?

Bradley: I think we can get into it.

Adam: All right, let's do it.

Yelp Ranking & Link Building Technique

Bradley: All right, we don't have a lot of questions just yet. So there's something I want to cover briefly because I just actually had a client reach out to me, who does. He does a lot of Facebook stuff or excuse me, not Facebook, Yelp stuff. He's a contractor and he was doing a lot of Yelp advertising. And then Yelp went on kind of a rampage recently, guys within the last six months or so. And they've done this before, but it got really bad about six months ago, eight months ago, somewhere around that time frame where they started to hide reviews. And they filter them out. And I've read multiple articles online about like they've actually come out and stated that two businesses that have too many five star reviews look unnatural whether they were natural reviews or not, it looks unnatural. So they started hiding them or filtering them. And so my, my client was pissed because he was spending, I think $1,000 a month or like $1200 dollars a month or something on advertising through Yelp, I wasn't managing that for him. I do the SEO for him. But ever since they started filtering reviews, like he, you know, some of his traffic has actually died down even though he's a paid advertiser with Yelp. And so I know Yelp says that they don't promote any organic part of Yelp, advertisers over non-advertisers. But it's just like Google guys, you know, you Google says you can't use paid ad traffic to get SEO results. And that's bullshit. We've proven that over and over and over again. So Yelp does the same thing. If you're an advertiser, you get promoted more both as an advertiser as well as organic results. And if you stop advertising, they'll start to demote you essentially. And we've seen that time and again.

And so anyway, he reached out to me the other day to say that, you know, Yelp's been pissing him off. He's still an advertiser. He doesn't advertise as much. He's actually spending a part of that now with me and Google ads, we're doing some display ad stuff and some YouTube stuff. But and I think part of the reason that Yelp has started to pull back on his exposure is that he has reduced his overall ad spend. And so he was asking me about, you know, is there anything that we can do SEO wise that can help him with Yelp. And so I did develop, I've tested this in the past. Now, I'm going to share with you this method I've shared it in the past on Hump Day Hangouts as well. But I think it's valid. And I do want to express like one disclaimer, a caveat to this is that yelps algorithm is there's a ton of different ranking factors inside of Yelp, similarly to Google, but they're not the same as Google and they're changing. Rather, they evolved, they change rather frequently, Yelp does, what they do in order to determine where the organic listings are going to rank now if you guys have ever been and I'm going to grab the screen and we're going to go to a quick demo. But if you go to a Yelp index page, for example, you'll see that there's a bunch of advertisers now at the top before you even get to the organic section. But what I want to point out as a way to do traditional SEO stuff, which is Yelp guys, you can absolutely hammer it with links. And that's one of the ways that you can actually get an individual Yelp page listing page to rank above an index page in Google search. Now in the past that by doing that by pushing a bunch of link equity link juice, essentially throwing a whole lot of links at a Yelp page, you could get a Yelp page to outrank an index page, a Yelp index page in Google search, which ultimately had an effect on the ranking within organic Yelp too, right. So within Yelp itself, however, I don't know that that's still the case.

So I'm about to test it but you guys know we have MGYB we've got our link builder in there. Our master link builder daddy at his services are now available in our store at MGYB.co Well if you go check out link building, you'll see it. And the top-level package for link building for just two tiers of links, we didn't add a third tier. But it's I think it's 20,000 tier one web to auto links, and 150,000, tier two GSA links, it comes out to be 360 bucks, so, but it's super, super powerful. And if you know what to aim it at, you can get results with that. And so I actually just yesterday placed an order to target my client's Yelp page with that two-tier link building package. Again, 20,000 tier one web to auto links and 150,000 tier two GSA links, and I'm going to show you exactly the URLs that I targeted for the Yellow Page to show you guys how you can really just push a shit ton of power into there. Now in the coming weeks, it's going to take roughly a month for that link building package to be completed as well as the indexing and all of that so and you know, I'm going to set a calendar reminder to bring this up again in a month. Once I have some results. I'm obviously going to blow out my I'm tracking the Yelp rankings right now with this. So I can see that type of movement I can get out of it.

I'm tracking the Yelp rankings in Google, I haven't figured out how to trap track the Yelp rankings in Yelp yet, other than just manually for some of the cities that we're targeting, which is you know, we're targeting specific keyword plus about five different cities. So I might just do that manually, but in a month, I'm going to send you guys or I'd like to on a hump day hangout provide an update to show you guys what kind of results we got with pushing Yelp and Google as well as what it did what kind of effect it had on the Yelp listing in Yelp itself. So let me go ahead and grab the screen and show you guys exactly what I was talking about. Because there's a lot of URLs inside it out guys that you can you can hammer with links and since it's Yelp, it's like Amazon or Google you can throw kitchen sink spam at it. And so it's a perfect buffer site to use to just push a shit ton of links into so let's just do something like I don't know we'll say plumber Fairfax, VA.

If you guys have noticed this, let me zoom in on this a little bit for local. Guess what the back again, really big for local keywords guys like especially for contractors. If you take a look, you'll see it's citation sites, business directory sites are back again, like, there's it seems like this happens every it goes in cycles. Google will show business directory sites for local searches, especially for contractors. I don't know because I stick mainly with contractors, guys. So I don't know about other industries. But it looks like for contractors stuff that, you know, goes in cycles, it seems like there are periods of time where Google will push the directories down and allow websites like individual websites to rank, but then it comes back where the directories come back again, and then it's the directory index pages, which I always thought was funny because think about this when you go to Google and you do a search for a keyword phrase like plumber Fairfax for example. If you click on one of these, all that does is go to another index page. Remember, this is just an index page, right? This is a Google index page. And this is what Google is saying as the top 10 results for this particular keyword search, this search query, and it's just showing an index of the top 10 index results, right. But then if you click through, and by the way, that's number one, right Yelp. But if you click through what is Yelp, and Yelp is nothing but another set of indexed results. So it really to me, I think it's shitty that Google does that I think Google should be promoting individual websites or even individual pages on the business directories, not another index page. Does that make sense? Because to me, it's like, why would you go from one index to another index? It doesn't make any sense but again, it goes in cycles. It seems like that's what happens.

But if you take a look like Yelp has their Angie's List, Home Advisor looks like this is another index type page, bestpickreports.com. So you can see there are obviously there are some individual businesses ranked here. But there are multiple indexed index pages essentially from other business directories. So that what I'm going to show you though, is how in the past and again, it's been a while since I've done this, so I'm anxious to see if I can still achieve the same kind of results that I was able to in the past. But that's how do you get an individual Yelp listing to push above the index listing, right. And then ultimately, hopefully, we'll be able to not only push it in Google, but also get an individual Yelp listing to push above or at the top of the organic section in the Yelp listings, which by the way, look at this, if you take a look guys, this is the sponsored results. I'll zoom in a little bit. This is the sponsored results section. So these are advertisers, people paying in Yelp just like Google does. The sponsored results are always at the top but take a look at how many there are. There's 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 looks like there are 10 sponsored results before it even gets to the organic results. So it makes sense.

So again, it just to me, it's, I don't think it's right that they do this, but it is what it is. And there's a lot of traffic to be had on Yelp. By the way, if you're, if you're if you've never been listed on Yelp before, the moment that you get listed on Yelp, you will start to get hammered relentlessly with sales calls from Yelp, trying to sell your advertising and no matter how many times you tell them no, they will continue to call and they'll call two and three times a week. And it's absolutely insane. I think it ought to be illegal, illegal. You know, with all the lead gen assets I run. It's crazy how many calls my call center fields from Yelp reps, and they always say the same stupid thing every time they say oh, well, we're the new Yelp representative for your territory or your area. And we're just calling because we're offering some new advertising packages and blah blah, it's always the same pitch, but it's all bullshit. It's no matter how many times you tell them, take us off your call this leave us alone. If you've got a listing on Yelp, they will call you to death, especially if you've claimed it just so you're aware of that.

Alright, so anyways, let's just pick one of these for a second. Actually, this guy right here used to be an SEO client of mine about four years ago, Cardinal plumbing. Anyways, let's just scroll down. Let's use that one. Okay. Again, used to be an SEO client of mine. If we go in here, it looks like they've got 52 photos. This is what I want to show you about how to push power into the Yelp listing for Google sake. But also, like I said, it used to have a significant influence on Yelp, too. But I don't know that that's the case anymore. That's kind of why I want to test it. So first of all, I would grab this URL right here and open up a notepad file standby. And I should probably open an Excel file, but that's okay. I'll just use notepad because it'll be easier. Let me change the control plus

Alright, we're just going to use Notepad, you can clean it up, obviously, if you're using a spreadsheet, but that's going to be the primary URL, right. But there's a ton of other URLs on this page that I want to show you that you can also push link juice into some of which are canonical URLs, which won't show if anybody you know, it doesn't show in a backlink analysis tool, like AHREFs or Majestic or something if you're building links to the URLs that are canonicalization to this URL. So in case, you guys hadn't seen this before if we click on right click view page source. You scroll down a little bit, right here, you'll see the linkrel=canonical, and that's the URL that I just put in my notepad file right there. Well, all of these are the different language or what they call, a href language tags. So these are all URLs for Yelp in the different countries. And what they are every one of those URLs are canonicalization to this URL, right, which is the primary US English, you know, yelp.com URL for that business. So that makes sense. So what you can do here is actually grab all of these URLs right here. Now you have to trim them obviously down to the URL and get rid of the HTML code. And that's why, like I said, having a, you can do this in a spreadsheet, you can do you know, find and replace, to get rid of some of this stuff, all that kind of stuff. What I like to do guys, by the way, is just put in like a tab, right there and a tab right here. And then I do you know, I'll do a Find and Replace and get rid of all of these all at one time. And then I'll do that in this case, I do sterling-4. And then if I replace, I do sterling-4 with the tab and then replay up, let me just demonstrate it honestly, because if I don't, some of you guys are going to know how to do it. So what I'm going to do is actually grab this right there. I'm going to go to find and replace or replace And I'm going to say replace al and what it should do. And in fact, as I said, I need to grab this actually need to grab that right there. Anyways, I'm not going to go through that. But you can trim that down to where do you end up with just the URLs, okay, that's what you want to do. There are also tools out there that will do that kind of stuff, trim it down to just URLs. Anyways, once you do that, now you've got all these different URLs that you can build links to. So that when you're buying a big link building package, or you're, you're if you're doing your own, if you use link building tools, I can't stand doing that shit. But if you do it you're on your own. It's better to have multiple targets than it is to just hit all on this one URL. You kind of want to spread the link juice out across different target URLs, but they all benefit the same URL, this singular URL up here. Does that make sense? So again, that's a really good target there, use all those different canonicalization hreflang URLs.

Alright, so let's keep moving. Next. If we actually go up here and take a look at the images here, guys, it says there are 52 photos. So if you click that little icon there that said, See 52 or 52 photos, each one of these if you look at the URL bar, guys, the address bar up here if I click on that, look at that, that's a unique URL, right? If I move it what to do, it changes to another URL. So every one of these is additional link targets that you can use to push additional juice into this Yelp listing, right. So I wouldn't recommend that you go through that's funny, because that photo was one of the photos we put on the website that I did for them, like four years ago. So that's an old photo. Anyways, uh, every one of these is another URL that you could build links to. So I wouldn't recommend that you go manually copy all these. So let me give you a little shortcut is in the Chrome Store, go to chromestore.com or whatever, go do a Google search for Chrome Store. click through and then type in link grabber. And that's this thing right here. You can see I've already got it installed on my in my Chrome browser. Okay, so from here, what we're going to do is just close this out to where we're on the photo index page, and all I'm going to do is click the link grabber. And if you scroll down here, right here, you'll see starting with, it always says yelp.com slash biz underscore photos. So those are the photos right there on that index page. Those are all the URLs to all those photos. So all I gotta do is just copy these right here. And go play and paste these into my, as I said, it would be better if I had a spreadsheet, but I would just put them right there. See that, guys. That's another whole set of URLs that you can build links to see that they're all unique URLs, it's all going to push power or juice link equity right back into this top-level URL right here. All right, and so again, same thing, you would just go to the next page right down here, and you click link grabber again, come down here where it starts to say biz underscore photos, you want to copy those down to here, copy them to clipboard and then go paste them into your link target file, whatever that may be, in this case, notepad file. See that?

So now again, once I had trimmed all this shit down, I'd end up with this URL, all these hreflang URLs, and then all of these image URLs. And now, there's probably other URLs that you could also build links to. I mean, I know there is, for example, if you wanted to, you could actually scrape the review URLs directly to the reviews and that kind of stuff. So you can get as crazy as you want anything on this page that has its own URL, you could actually add to your link targets, and then just throw kitchen sink spam at it. All right. And that's how you power up a Yelp listing. So as a brief little tutorial, I wanted to share with you guys I will give an update. I'll try to set a calendar reminder to revisit this in about a month once I have the reports back from our link builder and all that kind of stuff and see what kind of results we've had.

Okay, anybody wants to comment on that? Or can we move into questions?

Adam: I think we're good.

Bradley: Okay. Moving on.

Is There A Way To Delete Add Redo A Google My Business Listing?

Okay, so MISSMOVING got the first question. She said. I'm assuming it's a female says, Hello. I'm having a problem with Google My Business listing two of them and want only the ones in New York City, I need to know what to do and will I be able to delete and redo these listings? Well, with it, that's not really much information. I'm having problems with my GMB doesn't really explain to us what kind of problems you're having. So I can't really give you any advice on it. If I don't know what the problem is.

There could be any number of problems, right. So I mean, specifically, what are the problems? That's something we would need to have more information on before I could really provide you with any valid advice. That said, would you be able to delete and redo those listings? Well, I suppose you could if you were able to re-verify or verify under, you know, new locations. The problem is if you've already got a verified listing, I mean, that's one of the challenges, right is to get a verified Google My Business profile. It won't even publish now until it's verified. So if you have the ability to reverify new listings. If not, you can buy them from us. We do it at mgyb.co, our store, you can actually for a while we had to shut it down guys, but right now we're able to do it again. So if you need GMB verified listings, you can get them from us while it's still available, right? So that's something you could do you know it again, without enough information, I can't give you the proper advice, because in some cases, it's wouldn't be wise, in my opinion, to terminate, suspend or delete, I should say, remove a listing, when it could just need some work to get it to come back. Like for example, sometimes you get what's called a pigeon filter. And that's something that happens. And in fact, I've experienced this recently with some of ours, based upon the local least pro method, which was getting a lot of listings, kind of within, you know, they could be in close proximity to them to each other, and that can cause some pigeon filter issues. There are ways to get out of that, but initially, it can cause pigeon filter issues. And I think Marco calls them also soft suspensions. And there are ways to actually get that lifted or removed or to pull it out of that kind of sandbox state. But you know, again, it just depends on what the overall like what we think that the problem was before I would determine whether or not I would just abandon the listing altogether. Or if I would put the effort in to get it out of the sandbox essentially. So again, without enough information, it's really hard to give you a piece of proper advice on that.

Is There A Link Shortener That You Recommend Besides Firebase?

Ken Robert says, besides Firebase, is there a link shortener that you would recommend using and who to stay away from? Um, there's shit what does it Rebrandly, I think is one of them. There's or snip.ly, I think there's another one. There's a lot of those that you can do a lot of really cool stuff with. Where you can add like header codes like pixels and stuff into links and that kind of stuff that you could use. You can actually, you have a subscription, a paid subscription, you can actually brand those domains to something I do guys, I just create my own link shortener like I've you know, I've done it with a couple of different domains. And I just added Pretty Link the plugin. And I use my own domain as a link shortener now Now, obviously, there's not an inherent authority in that yet, but over time, it will build some. But you know, that's what I've done. Marco, do you want to comment on that at all?

Marco: No, because I keep pushing Firebase.

Bradley: Yeah.

Marco: He says, besides Firebase to me, everything else is just I don't know. Whatever.

Bradley: Okay, well, there you go. And there is a way to get good links out of Firebase guys. I just don't know how to do it. Marco does but he won't share it. So, unfortunately, you won't hear that.

Is It Possible To Create A New Google Account And Build Drive Stacks And Point Everything To An Existing GMB And Client Website?

Ken says I have a client that has an established GMB but I'm not going to have access to the GMB or associated Google account. I already know what Marco would tell them. Anyway, is it possible to create a new Google account and build a driver a drive stack, Gsite, Youtube, @ID, etc. and point everything to the existing GMB and their website? Is it an issue doing it doing that from outside the Google account that's not associated with the GMB? I mean, that's your next best thing can In my opinion, I'll let Marco comment on that. But, you know, it certainly, in my opinion, would be better if you could get access. But if you can't, you can't, then that would be this the next best thing Marco, what do you say?

Marco: I say that a client who won't give me access to a GMB as a fire or former client? Yeah. I mean, I'm gonna I'm sorry, what? Why do you have to go to all of these extra steps. And if you do have to go extra steps, if they make you do all of this, I hope you're charging enough to make it worth your time. Because you actually have to mirror whatever it is that they did on the GMB and that you have to try to push over from one hop instead of working in the golden frame right, so to speak, which is GMB, the GMB itself for the company and anything else associated with it just makes your job harder. Which, you know, I, I don't understand that. And again, I won't even deal with someone who says, Well, you can't work on this GMB. Okay, then we just can't work there.

Bradley: Yeah, I agree with that, if you have a client is making it hard for you to difficult to do your job, it actually puts you at a handicap right? A disadvantage. And so if that's the case, you charge them a premium, you know, and I totally agree with that. And clear state that very clearly in your proposal, like, Look, if you give me access, I can charge you this much. But if I have to do everything, like the secret scroll route, right, like take the back door to get everything done, because you're making it difficult for me to do my job, then I'm going to have to charge you premium because it's more work more effort, more time, all that kind of stuff. So I agree with that. Totally. But yeah, I mean, lastly, as I said, you could, again, that's still going to be a much slower route, and my opinion because it's not the same entity. I mean, it's not the same account, you can still push authority and all that, but it's not the same.

Does Using A Tracking Phone Number To A Client's GMB Listing Trigger Any Negative Reactions From Google?

Okay, Gordon's up. Hey guys, thank you very much again for your hump days help. You're welcome, as usual, is greatly appreciated. I presume that if you wanted to use a tracking phone number for client clients GMB listing, you could simply go back and edit the existing citations to replace the original number with the tracking number, but will doing that trigger any negative reactions from Google or make it more difficult to rank the listing in the three pack? Well, yes and no. It depends on how you do it because you can add additional phone numbers and GMB, he doesn't have to just be one. So it depends on what you're trying to track if all you're trying to track is the phone numbers to the Google listing. Right and then you can add the tracking number as the primary number in the GMB and then move. Whatever the number digital number was to the secondary number in GMB and Google will know both numbers are there and associated with that GMB profile. So your existing citations, it will not cause an NAP issue because even though the published phone number in Google will be your tracking number and the citations will be the original phone number, Google knows because the original phone number is still part of the GMB. You haven't listed inside the GMB but it just might not show as the published number. Google will know that it's still part of the GMB itself right? It's similar to service area businesses, right? Most business directories will not allow you to publish a listing without a street address. And we get that question a lot of people say well, now if service area businesses if Google does not allow you to publish your physical address your physical location in the service area businesses in the listing, you have to go clear that before you even add your service areas or else you can get a suspension in GMB. When people say, well, then can should I go publish citations or build citations with just city-state and zip as opposed to a street address, city, state, and zip? And no, because first of all, most directories aren't going to allow you to have a listing unless you have a street address. But even if you do, I would recommend that you still have the street address showing in the directories because you want to make that association between that kind of push that same data, right, you want that data consistency. But what I'm saying is if so if you are building citations, your business directories most of them are going to require a street address but your GMB doesn't show it doesn't publish it. However, in order to verify the GMB you had to have had an address at some point, right? Because when you first set it up, it has to have an address or else it won't allow you to even set it up. So Google understands and knows what physical location is associated with that business.

So when you build other citations out there, even though it's an unpublished address, Google knows that that's associated and pointing to that business. Right? That's, that's correct. So the same thing goes with the phone number, if you unpublished the original phone number, but you still leave it as part of the GMB because it's still listed as a secondary phone number in the inside the dashboard, although it may not show in maps, then your citations are still going to be referencing that original number. And that shouldn't be a problem. And I've done that, guys. That's why I know that and if that's all you're trying to track is the calls to the GSB itself, then you can just add that tracking phone number as the primary phone number. Now if you want to track calls through all of the other places that the NAP is published, and yes, you'd have to go through and do a citation cleanup job, which is very tedious work, I would never recommend you do that on your own. Okay. So hopefully that makes sense. Now you might see up actually I've done it before not seen any movement at all. But typically if you do something sort of a change, you might see a little bit of dancing. But you know, as I said, I've done, I've changed. I've even changed business names, believe it or not in GMB or like upended like a city or and stuff like that to it in the past and not seen any movement. So, you know, again, I take that with a grain of salt, but you should if you're as long as you're keeping the original number, just as a secondary number, you shouldn't have any problems.

Will Leaving An Old Site Online While Having A New Website More Helpful In Ranking A GMB Listing In 3-Pack?

Number two, if you create a new website that is more helpful in ranking the business, GMB listing, but leaves the old site online. Will that has any negative effect for ranking the three pack? Well, I would do a canonicalization. If you're not going to 301 redirect the old to the new, then I would leave the new pot or the excuse me, the old still published online but I would set up canonical, which would be essentially it still would remain a published website Google says that a canonical URL won't index they say typically will you know be removed from the index because your canonical your canonical points to where it should be packed. The credit to but that's not it doesn't always honor that like you'll see a lot of the time stuff that does have a canonical still indexed. So that's what I would do I would leave the site indexed or excuse me a live published with inset canonical URLs to your new site. You want to comment or add to that, Marco?

Adam: No.

Will A Brand New Domain Make It Harder To Rank A GMB Listing In 3-Pack?

Okay. Number three. Many thanks again, Gordon. Now, I don't I mean, I don't know because I don't buy age domains to try to rank anymore. I stopped doing that years ago. So I haven't tested that specifically with GMB stuff. But I can't imagine that it would, I could be wrong. But typically, as I said, I'd rather go with a domain that I select the name of Like so that I can brand it after the business or the pseudo business, if it's for lead gen, I want to create a brand. And if you have to buy a, you know an expired domain, because if you're buying expired domain because it had some age and perhaps some backlinks built to it already, then you're pretty much stuck using that particular name anyways, unless you just have a different company name altogether, but the URL or the domain doesn't really jive or match with the brand name, which I don't like that I'd rather have a brand a domain that matches the name of the company. That makes sense. So I don't know I haven't tested that specifically with GMB stuff. But I'd rather just use a new one that I was able to designate the name that I wanted select the name that I want it. Okay.

What Are The Benefits Of Cloudflare CDN Compared To Using Registrar?

Tasha is I bought your video lead gen system I've started going through it few questions I had were What's the reason to set up cloud flare CDN benefits over using registrar also not sure if later in the course you go over how to approach local clients. You don't have lead gen properties. But you offer other SEO types of services. Yeah, you obviously haven't been through all the training. I always use Cloud player just for DNS because it allows me to do a lot of additional things that, you know, I just like cloud players a DNS third-party DNS service, you don't have to use it. You can use your registrar DNS if you'd like. It's entirely up to you. You know, DNS is just a tool, right? It's just something that you would use, you can use Cloudflare if you want. Use your domain registrar, if you want to use another DNS service you want it really doesn't matter. So that's insignificant. Do whatever makes you happy.

Does Video Lead Gen System Teach You How To Approach Local Clients?

Do I go through how you approach other local clients? Yes, that's like module two. There's the first module where I talk about specifically using targeting service providers for monetizing lead gen assets. But then module two I talked about how to use the same methods to approach clients. I talked about approaching clients to sell them GMB marketing services, but you can apply it. And again, this is in the training, you can apply that same method to, for whatever services you provide, whether it's Facebook ads or video marketing or whatever services you provide, you just modify the messaging to whatever it is that you provide. That's it, it's the, it's the method that I wanted to teach, right? That the processes or the services that I provide may be different than yours, and that's perfectly fine. So you just have to apply the method or modify the method to fit your specific products and services, that's all okay. But it's an effective method to and stick Go. Go all the way through the training, make sure that you implement some of the advanced strategies because that's really how you get the best results. It's through the follow-up guys. Remember, video lead gen system was all about getting a conversation started. Once the conversation gets started or contact has been made, and they engage or interact with your, your emails, then that's it's all in the follow-up. Like that's how you get you convert them it's all in the follow up and you can do that through manually reaching out to them when you receive notification that they've engaged with your content through you can call them you can send them immediate follow up emails when you get notified that they've engaged don't just stop with one by the way, you know, send them a call or a email immediately following their you know, notification that they've engaged but if they don't reply don't give up send it you know, hit them two or three days later again with another message Hey, just wanted to follow up. Find out if you had a chance to see my video blah blah, blah, and send them a call send them I went through this I even talked about this on a hump day hangout I think last week or the week before where you can even do things like setting up voice, voicemail drop brainless voicemail, so and you can automate these guys to where when they engage with your emails, it can automatically send them based upon whatever rules you set to trigger it, you can send them a ring lyst voicemail, so a voicemail will get inserted into their phone without ever ringing. Hey, this is Bradley, I just wanted to follow up to find out if you had a chance to watch the video and take a look at what I offer, you know that kind of stuff. Right? Then you can send direct mail like and you can automate this stuff, guys, I talked about this on free Hump Day hangouts like a week or two ago. So you can go back and watch the replay from a week or two ago and you'll see exactly what I'm talking about. And I added that by the way to the training. So it's in the advanced module, the advanced strategy module. But you can trigger an automatic direct mail postcard to go out or a letter that you know what I'm saying. So these are all things that you set up guys and it's all about the follow-up. Don't think that you're going to go out, create a landing page, put a video on it, send out a few video emails and your all your client needs are going to be met. Like that's not how this works. It requires work and follow up, but it's a unique way to get their attention.

Once you've got their attention, then it's all about following up until they're ready to contact you back. You've really got to earn build trust, build rapport. And that's how you do it. Because remember, guys, businesses are getting absolutely hammered relentlessly with solicitations from advertising and marketing companies 24 hours a day, seven days a week. So don't think that just having a video email is going to be your like you're done. You're you've out, you know, outworked, all of the other solicitors out there. That's not the case you have to stay be unique in your approach. And in follow up in a unique way, right, which is why I talked about doing voiceless ring or ring this voicemail, excuse me, and doing direct mail and sending follow-ups when you know that they've opened or engaged with one of your emails. Like those are the kind of things that will set you apart from your competitors from the other solicitors out there. Ok. So again, all in the follow-up. Adam knows that

Scott's up. We're almost out of time and we're almost out of questions. You guys have been short on questions lately, but it's all right. We can wrap up early. Scott says I missed her on Facebook training. Will there be more on Facebook or will it be included in the mastermind? It's in the mastermind, Scott. Looking forward to more GMB training. Yeah, it's in the mastermind. We did it in the mastermind. There will be some additional training in there. Probably after we do the next GMB launch or you know, the with the new version, the new methods, we're going to be doing some probably some training on ads because I've been doing a lot of Google Ad stuff. That's why Hernan came in and did some training on Facebook ads on how to use that stuff. Okay.

Okay, Scott says shout out for the MGYB services order the small links package and the results are excellent. 3500 links from nice web two. or excuse me web two articles. Yeah, they're great guys. Like I'm telling you that link service has been customized and design and tested thoroughly for years, specifically to power up our tier one assets. I mean, like Daddea has a custom built a beautiful, beautiful link building packages that work incredibly well for powering up syndication networks, drive stacks, citations. You know, press releases, @ID pages, all of these things that we teach as tier one assets. We do all the nasty SEO stuff to the tier one assets never direct to the money sites. And the SEO packages or the link building packages, excuse me, that Daddea has built have been custom built specifically for our methods and they work incredibly well. So like hands down, it should be like I was making a joke about this earlier but do you want fries with that? Right like when you go through a drive-thru you want fries with that? Well, do you want links with that? Like it should be that's what we should ask. syndication networks he wants to do you want links with that, you know, drive stack, you want to link to that. Because it works really, really well.

Marco: I got disconnected for a second Sorry, guys. But I'd like to give a shout out to the MGYB link building services to Daddea is awesome. And the way that he did it is everything is niche-related relevant so that when you order a package for what whether you're local or e-commerce or whatever it is, he has a relevant network for it. It's just millions and millions of profiles that he has built up. And you have to remember how long was he with you before Semantic Mastery, Bradley?

Bradley: Oh, shit, probably. Well, he was with me for full time for at least a year, a year and a half but for probably two years because he worked for me for about six months. And then I hired him full time. And then we launched Semantic Mastery and he ended up going out on his own and now he's a contractor for us, but he runs his own entire company's own agency essentially.

Marco: Right. So he's been link building for about seven years. Yeah, and that's all he does. That's his business. That's it. That's what he has his employer is doing that this is where he concentrates most he does other stuff. Guys, don't get me wrong, but I mean, his main focus is this link building service that he's provided. And I can remember three or four years ago when we started talking about the link relevant packages, right to be niche relevant packages and how we needed to build all of these networks. That had to be, you know, focused on on the different niches and to give people the option to be able to get links that were relevant, because we had already seen the beginnings of what I call A-R-T, right activity, relevance, trust, and authority. And we saw how links from relevant sources were much more powerful than just orphaned links that really didn't mean anything, especially when the ranking score algorithm and the distance graph came into effect. So shout out to Dahlia, and everything that he's doing because it's working like gangbusters right now. It's ridiculous what he's done.

Bradley: Yeah. It's um, it's almost like the easy button because it really does it powers everything up. It's just crazy. And I like it because all I gotta do is submit the URLs and a list of keywords and then he does all the rest. That's it. I mean, it's that easy. So, all right,

What Are Some Ways To Increase Proximity Radius For Keywords Besides Geotagged Images?

Leon says, excuse me, and we got to wrap it up in a couple of minutes guys. Besides geotagged images, what are some ways to increase your proximity radius for keywords well content besides the geotagged images? It's marketing and using you know content marketing and using the terms that you want and the locations as you know, the names of the cities and the locations that you want to rank in as well will generate leads from right so I mean, for example, guys, I've talked about this in the past, but the near me keywords if you're doing again, you know, almost everything I do is for contractors. But if I go into GMB sites I see all the time like 40-50% of the search queries and GMB Insights that have brought exposure to that maps listing has have come from near me or variations of the near me type of key search query.

So near me close by in my area close to me, you know, those type of search queries they pop up all the time now. And that's because Google suggests them, right. And so for mobile devices, especially people taught tap it because it's suggested and it's usually one of the top suggested search queries in suggesting. So people tap them and so it's naturally is providing a lot of traffic now a lot of exposure. So how can you utilize the near me keywords as well as locations, right? Because if you want to influence and so I've always done really simply, and I've taught this and some of the courses but like, you put as a GMB post, for example, and you can do this in blog posts to guys and press releases and things like that you can target the near me search queries and how do you do it in a way that it reads? Well, well, you could say like for a GMB posts I like to use the first line of the post saying Did you just search for and then you put in quotes you know plumber near me or emergency plumber near me and then you put an end quote right and then you put the city name in whatever city so we are doing an example earlier for plumber Fairfax. So did you just search for a plumber near me and Fairfax? Right question mark so now that reads well and now you've got your keyword in the near me keyword which is generating a shit ton of traffic anyways and you've got the city that you want to promote that you want to get better results from more leads from rank better whatever you've got the city name in there upended essentially there are direct you know in close proximity to the near me keyword search query. So my point is that's how you do it guys. And you can also make sure that you're not only geotagging images, but you're using those types of keywords and like the alt text, you can add those keywords in the metadata of the images as well. Does that make sense? So just, you know, geotagged images, especially images that from those areas like taken from phones and or devices that have GPS enabled, taking photos that are that have, you know, buildings and things like remember guys, Google has Street View, and Google Earth and all that kind of stuff. So you can get images that Google will recognize within that, that are from that area to use those and then use those types of keyword search queries. And that's one of the things like Google gives you the keys to the kingdom. I always thought it was funny that if you go to insights, and you right click or, you know, highlight, excuse me, drag, you know, drag and highlight all of the keywords and insights and just paste them into an Excel file or Google Sheets. Then in the one column, you're going to have all the search queries that have brought exposure to the maps listing. And if you start targeting those in GMB posts, you get more exposure for those keywords. I always thought that was funny because it's like Google is telling you hey, here are the keywords that are bringing you exposure.

Maps, if you target these, we're going to give you more exposure. And always thought that was funny, but it's true. And so you can and again, you can manipulate those by a pending different location modifier is to those keywords, especially near me keywords and it works really well. Okay.

All right. Um, let's see, I presume it's useful to put all the Yelp URLs in the Google stack, right? I don't know, Marco might be able to answer that. I would think that would be a little bit too many. That's a lot of damn URLs. But that's up to Marco. Can you comment on that? Have you seen our spreadsheet? We put anything and everything in it. There you go. He goes in there to syndication Academy, anything and everything that you can get in there you go, the link building becomes a whole lot easier. There you go. Because you can put it, Yeah, and that makes sense. You can put all these into a spreadsheet and hit the spreadsheet, like with the kitchen sink, you know, and you're going to power all those up through an iframe through a drive a Google Drive File. So.

okay, Stevens. I was at Semantic Mastery member for many months but then had to quit long story I'm thinking of coming back and if I come back and get and get the new video email sales course you are offering as well or do I have to buy that separately? No, it's part of mastermind, Stephen. If you have any questions about that specifically, just reach out to support at Semantic Mastery calm, and video lead gen system is one of the courses that is is available to you as a mastermind member without an additional charge. We do have slightly different processes to how and when products or other courses are released. But that's just to help you to get you know, to stay focused instead of dumping like 18 products on you all at once that overwhelms people we've learned that actually turns people off. So we do have kind of a slightly different process. But if that's something specifically that interests you that you want to get as part of joining mastermind, again, just contact support, we'll work it out with you. Okay, we just did that for a new member. We have a new member Anna, who just joined a couple of days ago, welcome and by the way, and she requested the same thing and we were able to give it to her

Alright, last question. We're done. g by the way, I'm calling Eugene from now on. He's a new mastermind member. He just joined last Wednesday right after Hump Day Hangouts. So welcome. Or maybe it was too into anyways, it was recently I think it was last Wednesday. And since I don't know how to pronounce your name, and I'm probably butchering it, I'm just going to call you g from now on. So,

welcome to the mastermind. Again, g says whoops, Yelp co.uk can be iframe and the link from it is do follow to the money site. So I presume it's also a good candidate for Google to the Google site, ad ID and so on. You're absolutely right.

Absolutely. Right.

So and guys think about that. That's the other thing, just really quickly, let's just grab that Yelp URL, and I'll show you can embed these right. So for example, see how it says in bed Well, you can share the review and that gives you the review URL. But we talked about iframe is all the time. And this is what the embed preview looks like. Right? So you can actually grab that embed URL or that embed code and put that in a, you know, g side and an ID page wherever you want. And that's a, an iframe that comes back here to the Yelp page, right? And so you can use that and it looks nice, right? It looks like this. And you can actually embed those into stuff. And then like I said, hammer that and if it says, read more on Yelp, what's it What is that? That's a link that comes back to this Yelp listing, right. So those are again, we talked about iframe stacking, and RYS Academy and in the mastermind and that kind of stuff. That's all the things that you can do. So that was a good observation on your part, G.

Alright, guys, five o'clock. We're wrapping it up. Thanks, everybody, for sticking around. We'll see you guys next week. No mastermind this week. So Bye, everybody.

#Semantic Mastery #Weekly Digital Marketing Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 235

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