#i have... never been to arizona
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reading that jo's depression and voluntary check in to inpatient psychiatric care was supposed to be callie's s13 storyline has absolutely destroyed my whole day, possibly life
#we could have had it all#every single issue between them could have been tied up with the neat little bow called 'therapy'#like they were going to have arizona visit her with sofia and it would be a whole thing#callie torres#calzona#arizona robbins#and setting aside the fact that the speech that alex gives to jo at the end of that epnwas going to be arizona to callie#(our girl does love a speech)#the journey of arizona FINALLLYYYYYYY recognizing the amount that callie has been hurting and hiding it#the journey of callie letting herself ask for what she needs! to let herself be taken care of!#IM KNAWING ON MY STALK OF WHEAT ABOUT THIS#I WILL NEVER BE WELL AGAIN
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Hey hey Edu! I am having a day™️today and I have been thinking about why it is so hard for me to reread "What Might Have Been", but not "The Uses of Adversity"
Buckle up, there are spoilers for anyone who somehow has not read those masterpieces already
So, I think, I figured out my difficulty with WMHB is that at the core, I can barely cope with how much Remus spirals in that fic. The way he loses his grasp on himself more and more, the way his mind offers him another reality to deal with the how his life is getting out of order just- it did blindside me. Not because it's unrealistic or because you wrote it badly.
I think it just took me so off-guard after reading Happily Ever After where Remus, may have struggled but ended up helping Logan so often. Like, there is this underlying strength in his character that I adored. This hope and playfulness that never seized to show up.
And then he falls apart. It all falls apart and shatters. And I know that people do that. I know that characters do that and that it creates so much more interesting stories.
Later in different tidbits you show us how Remus was, versions of Remus and how he self-destructed before. You showed us better versions of himself, where he gets help earlier, chooses different paths, is able to choose different paths.
So it makes sense that he spirals, gets worse than ever before.
It just hurts so much because to me, it felt like he had it already. It felt like he was out of the woods. It felt like he had gotten better and was stronger than this. But the problem is that healing isn't linear. Sometimes you don't heal at all. Sometimes you just deal with the chipped state you're in.
And I think that was the thing that hurt. That Remus wasn't broken, but chipped. He seemed fine. He seemed to be doing well, to adjust, to grow. But he wasn't really broken, he was just chipped. He is chipped. And that is not something to be fixed but to be dealt with. And it's exhausting and tiresome if you don't know how to do it or have lost the motivation to do it.
But in TUoA we have Logan. And this version of Logan, who has suffered so much and is hurt and fearful and so very much in pain is less painful for me to see than WMHB Remus could ever be. Because that Logan has been broken. That Logan has been irreparably changed and will never be the same again.
And yet. And yet he gets the chance to become someone new. He gets the chance to be put back together in a new way. He gets to have Roman by his side, who looks at his broken pieces with love and care and is with him anyway.
And I think that hit less hard than what happened with Remus and feels more hopeful to me even though I understand that there is much more to come for Logan in that universe. But maybe, he'll be spared to have his son admitted to a mental hospital. Maybe he'll he spared to see his love fall apart because of something he couldn't have.
Maybe at least this portion of his life ends up being gentler than what WMHB would have given him.
Yeah.
I am very normal about your fics.
Kudos.
First of all, all the hugs in the world for you, Eir <3. You are beautiful inside and out and I hope you know that your stories touch me in so many of the same ways you're describing. (Most especially Life on Crow Avenue and Words Are Hard.) <3
I first read your note last night and had to sit with it because you're right, at the core of Remus' journey in What Might Have Been is the terrible truth that mental illness doesn't just go away. It can be managed to varying levels but it won't ever simply 'heal' like a cold or a broken leg. It's always there with us.
That was a difficult lesson for me to learn and one I'm probably still learning. I knew it intellectually but there have been times when life decided I needed to really learn it.
So many of us are those chipped cups, sitting on a shelf or serving some purpose. Just like those chipped cups, some of us break more easily than someone who has never been cracked and we do require extra care.
When I wrote Happily Ever After, I intended it to be a fairy tale. A fantasy, my fantasy, of what my life could have been like had I had friends like Janus and Roman in my life during my darkest times. Of how much stronger and better I could be if I'd had the support they gave him over the years.
I structured it like a fairy tale, took every chapter title from the first line of famous books. Logan started the story sad but unbroken, still surrounded by love and support. He ended the story discovering what I discovered about my self, ended the story with love for him and promising futures for his children. It was my dream fairy tale ending.
And it was completely unrealistic.
After sitting with the story for bit, I wanted to see how that might have actually happened, what a real ending to Logan's story might have been like, because if I could make Logan's fairy tale ending more realistic, I could make it realistic for me, too. That if in the more realistic version when Remus couldn't just bounce back again this time, if in even that version, he and Logan (and Janus and Roman and all of them) could still find a happy ending, I knew I could, too.
The Uses of Adversity is the same tale but backwards. What could possibly lead Logan to a happy ending when he started without Janus as a friend? The first part of TUoA, It Could Always Be Worse was very dark and was nearly even darker. I wasn't sure how it would end until I got to the last chapter. The original tags included an "author chose not to use Archive warnings" tag because that story nearly ended very differently.
Strangely, The Uses of Adversity, as straightforward as Logan and Roman's love story was, was much harder to write than WMHB or any of the other tales.
I hope that for every person who can't ever go back to WMHB, there's a person who reads it and can see that happy endings aren't just for fairy tales. That we can go through it all and still find a way to happiness in the end. That, chipped and broken and spiraling, there's always another chance for us to pick ourselves up or to allow ourselves be picked up, and keep on going toward a place of warmth and joy.
No matter what we've been through, it's never too late to build joyful connections with other people. It's never too late for a happy ending.
#heart to heart#beautiful ask#i'm crying now but i think in a good way#long post#spoilers for Happily Ever After‚ What Might Have Been‚ Arizona's Journal#It Could Always Be Worse‚ The Uses of Adversity#a little bit of author honesty#okay maybe a lot#it's never too late for a happy ending#cw mental health
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thinkin abt this. and thinking about mitch realizing that he'd never get the full suburban nuclear family hockey best friend life with auston.... thinking about the little adjustments of expectations they've made about each other and their futures together....... thinking about where they are now and might be later on.
#1634#like. . austons homes in arizona....#he loves toronto. he has a home in toronto too but he doesnt. like.#seem to have those same kind of dreams since he's split between family in az vs job in tor. at least isnt vocal abt them#mitch HAS been to his home in az tho.......... a treat it seems not a ton of ppl have.....#and auston comes to his lakehouse..... its all so.......#just. mitch has grown up with such conventional wants in a lot of ways it SEEMS like when he talks n jokes#but then u see who he gravitates towards sometimes. n the way it contradicts his actions.#i find them. fascinating. i really do#ive actually been thinkin abt this for days#its like the antithesis of the web weaving i made... where their dreams DIFFER.#still holding so much love n space for each other even then.....#the potential for angst.#just kills me to think abt auston who. like... does not have a house in toronto. maybe never will.#if he ever has kids. i doubt theyll full time live there. its like... mitchs dreams have always been#hockey. family life where he grew up... picket fence n dog n wife n kids w buds right next door.#the whole block even! hang with the boys forever.. make them family.#realizing thats not smth u can dream abt wiht specific ppl u might want it the most wiht. hello....#anyway.#caught between wanting things youre supposed to want n told urself uve wanted ur whole life#n. smth unconventional maybe.
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mark calling callie AND arizona's dads his 'fathers-in-law' 🥺🥺
I just... I love the mark&calzona relationship so fucking much
#if they heard the term queerplatonic they would use it - fight me on this#like. he has only been with one of these women. and they were never even romantic. just sexual. (right?)#and he's just like#well okay i have a kid with these women. so therefore their families are my in-laws. they're my families as well because they are sofia's#sam watches greys#callie torres#mark sloan#arizona robbins
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Lmao one of my friends is getting married in August so the friend group is planning trips etc. and my friend and her partner were thinking of flying into the us and then roadtripping from here (New Mexico) to LA, which I had volunteered to drive for and to take everyone to the Grand Canyon on the way, you know, all that jazz
So they are trying to buy tix from Heathrow to Denver and then not fly here but instead drive which is six hours and I’m kind of like… have yall ever driven for that long before, let alone on the wrong side of the road in a backwards car? Like my American ass did the 5 hour drive from London to wales once, first time doing the wrong car on the wrong side thing, and let me tell you I loooove long driving roadtrips and six hours is literally my preferred length of driving day but that 5 hours s u c k e d oh my god I was so scared the whole time, just white knuckling it the whole way.
They want to spend as many days in Colorado as possible, which is great and all, but still need to come here to meet me and, theoretically, take my truck to LA instead of a rental car. And I just know that if they drive all day to get here they won’t want to do anything the next day because they’ll be exhausted, so we won’t do anything fun and I won’t get to show them around and stuff and then we’ll get right back in the car for two more days. And I get a little irked when people don’t consider that there is, in fact, tourist stuff to do here. Honestly tourist stuff is the only stuff to do in this whole damn state, and where I am is just Colorado Adjacent™️, same damn landscape. but when I moved out here I thought it was gonna be like the Sahara or some shit, so I assume that’s what they’re thinking, and I don’t know how to make it clear to them that they should spend two days here if they intend to drive from Denver so they can see stuff, and if they tell me the kind of stuff they want to see, then I can plan accordingly. Because I think we’ll all be sad if they don’t get to spend any time here, because they’ll get here and go “oh wow it’s actually pretty, I would’ve liked to check it out” and idek? I don’t want to be pushy but may have to be like “listen if you bypass me because you think there’s nothing to do here I will be butthurt about it and feel like I missed out on sharing my new life with you” because I mean I’ve never been to Denver so maybe it’s awesome and they should just stay here but… don’t you want to come crash for free and let me chauffeur you around and go to ruins and tourist traps and national parks and go swimming in beautiful mountain streams and have a ride on my pony? I guess it’s one of those “I would love this, why don’t other people love this” kind of things
#I think it also makes me feel like they are saying- and everyone who didn’t want to come with us too- that#they aren’t interested in seeing what I’m up to and don’t like my lifestyle and maybe that’s not true but it’s what it feels like#I’m not asking you to come meet me in fucking Iowa homeslice it is absolutely fucking gorgeous here in the summer#maybe they’ll end up wanting me to come meet them in Denver and idk I’ve never been and have a cousin there so it’d be worth a visit#but the shortest way to Arizona would then be right back through Santa Fe so that seems stupid to me#blah blah blah I am an oversensitive baby who just wants her friends to approve of her choices and say “this is cool and#we miss you but it’s cool you live someplace like this’#I want that validation because I sometimes really really miss school and I always miss Europe and#I don’t know I just want to play your guide you know it’s really fun to do that for people I love to do that for people#LET ME SHOW YOU MY WORLD ITS WEIRD LETS GO SIT IN A STREAM AND SMOKE WEED
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applying to movie jobs. scary
#like what do you mean i’m auditioning to be in movies#if i get it i have to be in arizona for two weeks?? i’ve never been there
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Whenever i meet someone from basically anywhere outside of my bubble of the US or Canada I'm like "oh that's really cool :]" and they always get kinda defensive and angry like "why is that cool >:/" and it's just do they realize they are familiar with entirely different ecosystems? All the cool plants and animals I've never seen in person and likely never will? Ive never been able to go outside the US T-T cut me a little slack please. I'll share all the cool stuff i know about prairies and wet lands from where I'm from
#the world is very big and full of many wonderful things that I'll never get to see#i went to Arizona once for a few days and do you have any idea how many pictures i took of all the snails and little lizards#i took pictures of squirrels! they looked different than the squirrels i know!#anyway I'm trying to distract myself from feeling sad and scared about my dad#so have this thought that has been on my mind for forever
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going home fucking finally oh my god i am so tired of being in arizona
#almost time for oregon water…..#and my bidet.#the airport is so fucking hot rn#i have never been so glad to leave arizona my god. this sucked so bad#my brother also almost made me cry when i was leaving (not bad cry. but.)#i am tired of crying and or almost crying thanks.#i want to see my friends and my ramza and my cat and i want to not think abt the last 3.5 days. thanks#漫言
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screaming crying throwing up that this shirt design was a limited run from a specific showing and I'll never have one
I'll always love you Near Dark by RecordBar - Long Sleeve Tee - Limited Edition 😞😞😞
#near dark#near dark 1987#i love this design it reminds me of the dixie cups u kno the ones#im such a sucker for a black longsleeve horror movie tee#i dont know what or where recordbar is and ive never been to arizona but i would give anything to have this#i might just love it bc the photo they used of sev is the one i love so much
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amazing how one shot of dopamine and a hot meal can do for one's spirit. I ate scalloped potatoes and went on a little drive and now I've got the pomodoro timer out. who is she.
#my diary#I'm a little excited to vote tomorrow too#not for any patriotism reasons or anything#I just live within walking distance of my polling place and never have a reason to walk up there#so I have a nice little walk to look forward to#there's a little corner store across the street that I used to go to all the time as a kid but I haven't been there in years#it couldn't keep an owner for a while and the last time I went people were smoking cigarettes inside#which was. wild to see in like 2018#but for a while the owners were a really nice uhhh either syrian or lebanese family (I forget sorry)#my uncle used to hang out with them all the time and it basically inoculated him from islamophobia forever#which is great cuz he needed that lmao#they had this Capital Double-U White hillbilly eating foods wrapped in grape leaves aura levels truly off the charts#this same uncle who drank from the same coffee cup unwashed for 20 years#america is truly beautiful#anyway I think I'm gonna poke my head in the corner store on my way home from voting#I think I have a couple dollars of cash to get an arizona tea or something
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there is no feeling worse in the world than missing your grandma :/
#she died two months before my eighth birthday#and every time i realize i’ve lived well over half my life without her i go a little bit insane bc that just doesn’t feel right#like soooo many of my favorite memories are with her how is it possible she was only in my life for less than eight years#my grandpas on both sides died before i was born so all i’ve ever had is my grandmas#and there’s also the horrible guilt i feel all the time knowing my other grandma is still alive but i rarely ever see her#but when i was a kid she lived an hour and a half away from us and this grandma lived around the corner#so we saw her all the time and every christmas fourth of july etc that whole side of my extended family would all go to her house#she moved into that house when my mom was 2 years old and lived there for the rest of her life so 40 years#and when she went into hospice care her one request was to die in that house surrounded by her kids and grandkids so that’s what happened#my parents bought the house after she died but we lived there for less than 2 years before moving to arizona#they’re both from colorado but they met in arizona and me and my sisters were born here#and the main reason we moved back to colorado in the first place was to be near her#but when we moved again my parents sold the house to our neighbors who had two daughters that my sisters and i grew up with#and they’re still our family friends to this day and we used to go on trips to national parks together every summer#we didn’t see them for maybe five years but then two summers ago their older daughter got married and we went to her wedding#which got us talking about how long it had been since our last trip so we went on another one last summer#this has turned into a tangent but it just makes me so happy that they’re still in our lives#and this great family we’ve known almost my entire life is living in my grandma’s house#she had a pool in her backyard which is super common here in az but not so much in colorado#and she let us invite these girls over all the time to swim so they grew up spending almost as much time in that house as we did#last time we were in colorado we went to have dinner with them and swim and it was like being transported back to my childhood#that house is just so special to me and i felt so blessed to be able to go back there since this family bought it instead of strangers#in a perfect world everything would align in a way that would let me buy it when i’m older and have my own family there#i’ve never had a strong attachment to any other house we’ve lived in but that one will always be my grandma’s house in my mind#i just love and miss her so much she was the most amazing grandma i ever could have asked for#my mom still has a lot of her childhood friends on facebook and whenever she would post pictures of me and my sisters as kids#everyone would comment that i looked exactly like my grandma did when she was a kid and that makes me so so happy#anyway. idk. i just miss her sm she was an angel and i’m so happy she was such a big part of my childhood#lj.txt
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#Delete later#There's so much shit happening in my life right now and this has been haunting the back of my mind for ages and I just ugh#What do you do when your boyfriend is going through some fucked up shit and won't respond to your texts asking if he's ok if he wants to#Hang out later or even just talk about things#Like I asked if he wanted to go to a mall later and it turns out he's going to mfing Arizona and. Didn't tell me at all?#He's going through a lot of stuff right now but I kinda want just like. Basic details of what he's doing?#So I can talk to him without sounding like a idiot? And not have to worry about him when he ghosts me for a couple weeks?#And the whole reason I'm questioning things isn't because he's being frustrating I've been thinking about this for a looong time#At first I thought I might have just been demi aro? Because like we were best friends before we were in a relationship#And I really do care about him I just don't know to what extent (what defines romantic attraction anyways? Never been clear on that)#And I'd break up with him and say I just need a couple weeks to sort things out and I think he'd understand#But also he really doesn't need that stress right now things have been getting really bad on his end#Our relationship isn't actively hurting me but if this trend continues it might eventually#I just really want to talk to him. About things. I hope I'm not doing a bad job handling this#Ufhfhdjajajajahrgehehh#Worth mentioning that Phoebe from Ghostbusters is making me question things as well.#Things are confusing all of the time :(
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The dog I think of as My Dog was picked up from the shelter when I was about 16 and he was six months old. He was a cattle dog mix, which at the time was really uncommon in our area.
We were only getting a dog because my mom was worried about home invaders which was a bit insane as we were out in the country and we’d left our German Shepherd down in Arizona with my dad for complicated reasons.
I turned the corner and saw him. Instant connection. He was curled up dozing, all blue and white freckles with red ears and feeties. His clipboard said “SLY” in huge red letters. I called it softly and he opened his eyes, ears perking. He roused to sleepily amble toward me, lick my fingers, then go lay back down.
My mom joined me in dismay, seeing the love dripping off of me. She hadn’t wanted a puppy but it was clear which dog we were going home with.
Sly was a monstrous puppy. Fans of cattle dogs will be unsurprised to learn he was exceedingly clever, mischievous and Bored a Lot. It turned out his name hadn’t been Sly. It was Billy. But I think we all know why a huge red warning had been applied to his kennel. We named him Sly anyway.
My mom doesn’t remember threatening in earnest to bring him back but it happened. Sly loved to chew. He had no interest in fetch or most toys but he adored chewing. I lost headphones, backpack straps, and pillows to his voracious teething. We tried to dissuade him. He just learned to chew when we weren’t looking. Then one day, clever but not smart, he set his teeth to a plugged in cord and electrocuted himself. He was fine, just really startled!
Thus ended the chewing, forever.
He wouldn’t even pick up toys. He was fully convinced having things in his mouth was only a matter of time before they turned on him. He’d run after a ball at dog parks, grab it in the euphoria of the chase, then immediately spit it out.
He was still a lot of dog and my moms rumblings about his poor behavior led me to join 4H with him. My friend Lia was in with her spaniels so I had an in. We did twice weekly training in obedience and showmanship.
That was it. Sly transformed into the best dog. From a bored unmanageable puppy he became a partner, ready to work on whatever we needed to work on. He learned buckets of commands, eager to please. Sit, down, wait, stand, front, back up, shake, roll, heel. The only thing we could never convince him to do was speak. His bark was reserved for Danger.
We went to compete in the county fair together, entering obedience trials and dog show portions.
The instructions are clearly stated before obedience testing. A dog must stay sitting for two minutes when told to stay, and three minutes for laying down. If our dog broke we were not supposed to speak to reissue commands, simply wait quietly.
It was us in a line with five other dogs. He passed the sitting part just fine. The down one was longer and a wretched golden retriever broke. But then his trainer pulled out a ball and started trying to redirect him with it. The other dogs watched with interest but stayed down. Sly started up. He desperately wanted to herd the golden back into place.
With elbows off the ground he froze, realizing his mistake. His head whipped to me. In silence, I swept my arm down in the nonverbal command for down. He dropped obediently and watched me fixedly for the rest of the time. I think he could feel my disappointment.
We failed.
But the judge came up to us afterward as I was petting him and said, “I was so impressed your dog knows nonverbal commands, and that other dog was so distracting! Let’s retest with the next batch.”
I was thrilled and Sly was steadfast, staring unblinkly at me for the full three minutes with utter determination. He won blue ribbons in obedience and got later best in breed since there was no other cattle dogs.
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if your first answer to any computer problem that isn't explicitly "i want to change my computer's operating system" is switch to linux i'm killing you. sorry
We need to lay more blame for "Kids don't know how computers work" at the feet of the people responsible: Google.
Google set out about a decade ago to push their (relatively unpopular) chromebooks by supplying them below-cost to schools for students, explicitly marketing them as being easy to restrict to certain activities, and in the offing, kids have now grown up in walled gardens, on glorified tablets that are designed to monetize and restrict every movement to maximize profit for one of the biggest companies in the world.
Tech literacy didn't mysteriously vanish, it was fucking murdered for profit.
#tech equivalent to telling someone who's looking for umbrellas to move to arizona#there are lots of great things about arizona! people thrive in arizona!#but it's also not a bandaid fix for everything#like yes it doesn't rain in arizona#but also moving to a different state is generally not a helpful answer to anything except 'i want to move to a different state!'#although in this situation it's more like the question is#'why don't these children who have never been to a store alone before know how to buy an umbrella'#and this guy offered a solution to a problem that literally cannot be fixed by moving to arizona#sorry dude the kids wouldn't know how to buy umbrellas whether they grew up in arizona or washington state#this metaphor is getting out of hand
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Ancient redwoods recover from fire by sprouting 1000-year-old buds
Article | Paywall free
When lightning ignited fires around California’s Big Basin Redwoods State Park north of Santa Cruz in August 2020, the blaze spread quickly. Redwoods naturally resist burning, but this time flames shot through the canopies of 100-meter-tall trees, incinerating the needles. “It was shocking,” says Drew Peltier, a tree ecophysiologist at Northern Arizona University. “It really seemed like most of the trees were going to die.”
Yet many of them lived. In a paper published yesterday in Nature Plants, Peltier and his colleagues help explain why: The charred survivors, despite being defoliated [aka losing all their needles], mobilized long-held energy reserves—sugars that had been made from sunlight decades earlier—and poured them into buds that had been lying dormant under the bark for centuries.
“This is one of those papers that challenges our previous knowledge on tree growth,” says Adrian Rocha, an ecosystem ecologist at the University of Notre Dame. “It is amazing to learn that carbon taken up decades ago can be used to sustain its growth into the future.” The findings suggest redwoods have the tools to cope with catastrophic fires driven by climate change, Rocha says. Still, it’s unclear whether the trees could withstand the regular infernos that might occur under a warmer climate regime.
Mild fires strike coastal redwood forests about every decade. The giant trees resist burning thanks to the bark, up to about 30 centimeters thick at the base, which contains tannic acids that retard flames. Their branches and needles are normally beyond the reach of flames that consume vegetation on the ground. But the fire in 2020 was so intense that even the uppermost branches of many trees burned and their ability to photosynthesize went up in smoke along with their pine needles.
Trees photosynthesize to create sugars and other carbohydrates, which provide the energy they need to grow and repair tissue. Trees do store some of this energy, which they can call on during a drought or after a fire. Still, scientists weren’t sure these reserves would prove enough for the burned trees of Big Basin.
Visiting the forest a few months after the fire, Peltier and his colleagues found fresh growth emerging from blackened trunks. They knew that shorter lived trees can store sugars for several years. Because redwoods can live for more than 2000 years, the researchers wondered whether the trees were drawing on much older energy reserves to grow the sprouts.
Average age is only part of the story. The mix of carbohydrates also contained some carbon that was much older. The way trees store their sugar is like refueling a car, Peltier says. Most of the gasoline was added recently, but the tank never runs completely dry and so a few molecules from the very first fill-up remain. Based on the age and mass of the trees and their normal rate of photosynthesis, Peltier calculated that the redwoods were calling on carbohydrates photosynthesized nearly 6 decades ago—several hundred kilograms’ worth—to help the sprouts grow. “They allow these trees to be really fire-resilient because they have this big pool of old reserves to draw on,” Peltier says.
It's not just the energy reserves that are old. The sprouts were emerging from buds that began forming centuries ago. Redwoods and other tree species create budlike tissue that remains under the bark. Scientists can trace the paths of these buds, like a worm burrowing outward. In samples taken from a large redwood that had fallen after the fire, Peltier and colleagues found that many of the buds, some of which had sprouted, extended back as much as 1000 years. “That was really surprising for me,” Peltier says. “As far as I know, these are the oldest ones that have been documented.”
... “The fact that the reserves used are so old indicates that they took a long time to build up,” says Susan Trumbore, a radiocarbon expert at the Max Planck Institute for Biogeochemistry. “Redwoods are majestic organisms. One cannot help rooting for those resprouts to keep them alive in decades to come.”
-via Science, December 1, 2023
#redwoods#california#wildfire#climate change#extreme heat#natural disasters#botany#plant biology#photosynthesis#santa cruz#hopepunk#sustainability#climate hope#united states#good news#hope
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First of all, I 100% know this is an overused trope... but still....
What If 141 2 people 1 bed trope
Who cares that it's an overused trope? It's a classic for a reason!
I will never tire of a one bed trope. It can be steamy and sexy. It can be angsty. It can be tense. It can literally be so many things at once. It's also a wonderful canvas to play around, and I had a lot of fun with this one. I know you've waited for this one for a while. I hope you enjoy it! :)
For the masterlist and how to submit your own request, click HERE
Task Force 141 x TF141 Female Reader
Content & Warnings: swearing, unprotected piv (wrap it up irl), creampie, multiple positions, rough kissing, vaginal fingering, oral sex (male & female receiving), admission of feelings, pretend sex, fake dating/married
Word Count: 6.3k
ao3 // taglist // main masterlist // imagines & what if masterlist
John Price
“Fuck,” mutters Price.
You glance over your shoulder. Captain Price stands near the hotel window, the gauzy blinds closed but the thicker ones bunched to the sides, allowing in natural light. He’s staring at something happening in the parking lot.
“What it is?” you ask, starting to walk over to him.
“They might have found us.”
Dread flares hot, clenching the muscles in your stomach until it hurts. “Are you sure?”
Price nods, and then backs away from the window. “There’s no way they saw our faces during the infiltration. We wore masks. Might have tracked the stolen car.”
“We need to leave,” you say, but Price shakes his head.
“There’s too many of them, and they’re likely watching all exits on the main floor.” He sighs. “We need to play this right.”
The two of you are freshly showered, and the clothes you wore for the infiltration have already been discarded. Burned—actually, somewhere in the deserts of Arizona. At the moment, the two of you look like civilians.
“They can’t search the building, John. Not without bloodshed.”
He runs a hand through his hair, his gaze darting across the room as his brain works something over. You fidget, picking at your nails. It’s a terrible habit. One you do when you’re nervous.
Price glances at you and your heart drops. “They look official, and that’s probably all that matters. The scrawny teenager at the front desk isn’t going to put up a fight if the credentials appear legitimate.”
“Fuck,” you whisper, striding toward the window to look for yourself.
Captain Price is right. They do look official. They also look fucking terrifying which would scare anyone into compliance if you don’t know what to look for.
“We’re on the bottom floor,” you say, stepping back.
“I know,” growls Price. He pivots, examining the entire room.
He goes for the car keys and shuts them inside the safe. The only other thing in the room is a duffle bag full of plain clothes and generic toiletries. Price pushes clothes aside and then draws out the pistol hiding beneath it all. He checks the clip and then preps the barrel.
“Take off your clothes.”
“What?” you ask, startled.
Price walks over to the singular bed in the room, tucking the gun beneath the pillows. “Do you trust me?”
“Absolutely,” you affirm.
“Then take off your clothes,” repeats Price, reaching behind his head with one hand to grab the collar of his shirt. He pulls it over and off, tossing it aside.
“Spread it around. Make a mess,” he instructs as he goes for the belt on his jeans.
For a moment, you’re stunned, staring at Captain Price’s bare chest. While he’s muscular, it isn’t from a life in the gym. He is thick in all the right places. A solid wall with a beautiful dusting of dark hair that travels downward.
The belt is gone, and that too is tossed aside.
Without removing your gaze, you tentatively discard your shirt, but keep your bra on. It’s a barrier. A safety net. Price isn’t even glancing at you, but you do notice some color at the tops of his cheeks. A soft pink that makes your thoughts spiral outward to imagine if this gentle blush is the same color as the head of his cock.
Price’s jeans go next, already discarded before you move on to the next article of clothing. He’s only in socks and black boxer briefs. There is so much of him on display that you’re starting to forget yourself.
He glances at you, and that color in his cheeks darken. “You’re still dressed.”
You open your mouth to answer but then you hear a shout from down the hall and sharp banging on a door. They’re far too close.
This urges you on, moving with faster intention, and once you’re down to just your bra and underwear, you finally glance at Price again.
Price—who is naked. Completely bare. And you have a full view of what he’s been packing underneath all that.
Fuck.
He approaches the bed, and tugs back the sheets. The muscles in his arms and back tense as he crumples the bedding to sexed perfection—as if the two of you have been going at it for hours.
Price sits down on the edge of the bed and slides underneath, his legs parting enough that you get a glimpse of everything. This man isn’t even fully hard but from what you can see, it would be a tight fit if you actually sat on him.
Lifting a pillow, Price checks for the pistol and then sets it back, settling into the sheets. He frowns slightly when his attention returns to you.
“All of that has to go.”
“Does it?” you counter, crossing your arms over your chest.
There’s another thunderous pounding on a nearby door followed by shouting.
“It does if we’re going to make it out of here alive.” Price shrugs, and then smirks. “Could help you.”
Sighing heavily and you reach behind your back, unclasping the bra. You hurl it at him and Price catches it out of the air. Crossing your arms over your chest, you hurry toward the bed. But you don’t make it beneath the sheets.
“Everything,” repeats Price.
Reaching out, Price snags the thin cotton fabric and pulls down, revealing you to him and the room. Instinct as you grasping for control, hands splayed over his large forearms as he gives the fabric another yank.
You cannot form a response. Words leave you as Price drags you into the bed with him.
“Sorry about this,” he grumbles, that color returning to his cheeks in full force. It’s cute actually—how sheepish he looks.
You swallow, and lick your lips. “It’s fine.”
Price leans back against the pillows, guiding you with him. “Get on top.”
Straddling his hips, you settle yourself over him. You try—and fail—to not notice the way the hard length of him nestles against your pussy. You keep one arm crossed over your breasts but all it does is hides your nipples from him. Your other hand is splayed wide and pressed against his chest.
“We’re married,” he says, staring into your eyes. “That’s the story. I’ll do the talking. You act like the scared wife when they come barging in.”
You nod, and Price releases a deep exhalation. His hands rest on your thighs. They’re a brand. Warm. All you can think about. They move upward to settle on your hips.
“Pretend you’re riding me,” he murmurs.
With a gentle hand, Price grasps your wrist, drawing your arm away from your breasts. You don’t resist, and he brings your other palm to rest against his chest.
“Pretend,” he reiterates, hands returning to your hips. Price creates the motion by dragging you back and forth, imitating a rocking motion. Though you’re stationary, your pussy still drags against the length of his cock.
You notice the tremor in his jaw as your bodies rub against each other. This is affecting him as much as it is you.
“Pretend,” you say back to him.
Price nods and then grabs for the television remote from the bedside table. He turns it on and then ups the volume. You imitate the motion he created, rocking back and forth, sliding yourself along his cock, pretending you don’t notice how wet you’ve become over the course of the last few minutes.
His hands return to your hips, and then Price sinks back completely into the pillows, his eyelids softening as he gazes up at you. It’s far too intimate of a stare, and it’s only compounded when one of his hands meander upward to slide over your stomach and then between your breasts. You gasp as his thumb traces the underside of your breast.
Head tilting back, you grind downward, finding yourself diving into the warmth that’s starting to pool low in your belly.
A sharp pounding at the door has you snapping to attention. Every muscle tenses. Seizes.
“You’re fine,” coos Price. “We’ll be fine.”
The pounding comes again and then a yell from behind it. The voice is muffled. Not only by the door but from the television.
Swallowing, you try to connect into it again, rolling your hips, imagining that Price is your husband—that you love him—and this is simply an exploration of that love.
When you roll your hips again, Price sits up slightly, his warm breath brushing against your breast. A tingle shudders through you, and Price groans before his tongue grazes over your nipple, bringing it to a point.
“Knew you’d taste sweet,” he says softly at the same moment the hotel door bursts open.
One second, you’re atop Price, and the next his arms are around you, turning you away from the door to hide you from sight. You’re not on your back but Price has shoved you toward the bed as he sits up, creating a barrier between you and the intruders.
The tactical-clad trio entering the room—with a hotel worker nervously trailing behind—
don’t even get a word in before Price starts going off on them.
“Get out! Get the fuck out!”
His accent is gone, replaced by an American one. It’s incredibly good, and his feigned anger even more so. The men entering faulter under Price’s tirade. They likely weren’t expecting this, and Price uses this opportunity to push the advance.
“We’re fucking busy in here. Fuck off!”
The man at the head of the trio clears his throat and holds up a hand, but Price chucks one of the water glasses at the man. The guy ducks and it shatters against the wall. The hotel worker at their back squeaks and pushes forward.
“We’re so sorry. Just a search for some prison escapees. We’re clearly in the wrong room.”
Prison escapees? You want to laugh but think better of it. Instead, you press your face against Price’s arm, feigning sheepishness.
Price’s lips turn into a snarl, and the hotel worker blanches.
“We’ll give you a complimentary stay for the inconvenience,” the man babbles before waving his arms to usher the other men out.
For a moment, you don’t think it’ll work, but they go.
You and Price don’t sigh with relief until the door shuts. His forehead presses against yours, chest heaving.
“Nice accent,” you whisper and this draws a smile from his lips.
“Like it more than this one?” he asks, his regular accent returning.
“Nope,” you say. “This one suits you fine.”
Price’s gaze draws over your exposed body and then lands on your face. It’s soft. Sensual. You’re frozen beneath it, breath catching as his fingers brush along the line of your jaw.
You’re not sure who moves first but his lips are on yours and then you’re moaning. Price rolls you onto your back, each kiss more demanding and fiercer than the last. He tastes of the mint toothpaste he used earlier and smells of soap.
Reaching between your bodies, you find him hard, and there is no other need within you but the one that craves for him to be inside. To fuck you ceaselessly.
You stroke him and Price groans into your mouth, his hand wrapping around your throat. Hooking your legs behind him, you guide him to your entrance. With a light press of your heels, Price takes your meaning.
There is no gentle pretense. No soft kisses or playful coaxing. Price goes all in, and you break the kiss to gasp aloud, nails digging into his back. Price is thick and having him inside you is a deliciously painful stretch.
It is all desperate the way he moves. Price isn’t gentle. It’s skin slapping against skin. It is sweat and groans. A savage hardness that borders on hysteria.
Your hand reaches behind you to press against the headboard as Price fucks you into the bed, but even that is shaking, banging loudly against the wall. It’s clear even over the drone from the television. The people next door will know exactly what the two of you are up to.
Price is relentless. A man starved. He nips at your bottom lip. Sucks it into his mouth. And when that isn’t enough, he goes for your neck and then your breasts, making your nipples smart and throb under his teeth and tongue.
The orgasm comes sharp and hot, bursting forth like a wave. And when you squeeze around him, Price is right there with you, his cum coating your insides as he too finds his end.
The two of you are all heavy breath. Sweaty limbs.
Price nuzzles the side of your neck, placing soft kisses there until he travels up to find your lips again. These are gentle. Not desperate like before.
When there’s a moment to speak, it is you that breaks the silence.
“So much for pretending.”
Kyle "Gaz" Garrick
It’s the middle of the day but you wouldn’t be able to tell.
A storm is raging—the rain thick and heavy. It falls from the sky in large drops that soak clothes and slick the skin. It’s a bit cold, too. A little chilly. The kind of wet chill that hardens the nipples and brings a shiver to your bones.
“Here. You’re soaked.”
Kyle presents a towel. It’s off-white and a bit frayed. But what can you expect from a motel in the middle of nowhere? Having a towel at all is nice. At least it isn’t threadbare.
“Thanks,” you reply softly, gently dapping the rough-textured material against your face.
Kyle strides over to the heating unit. It’s dirty and barely anchored to the wall. He hits a few buttons and then the thing turns on. It’s loud. Clunky. But heat starts to seep from the slats, warming the room.
After drying your face, you begin to remove outer pieces of clothing. Kyle might be your teammate, but there isn’t really anywhere to hide but the bathroom. Knowing the state of most motels, you don’t really want to find out either.
Kyle has the same idea. He dries off with his own towel, removing soaked articles of clothing as he goes. You try not to look—to be discreet—but it’s hard not to steal a peek. Kyle is all toned muscle and firmness. There’s a light dusting of hair on his chest. It’s a bit thicker around his navel. It trails downwards, and your mind wanders to a place it shouldn’t.
You glance away but not fast enough. His gaze roams upward, finding you, and there he pauses, observing you as you did him.
Pretending is best.
You attempt to act like you don’t notice him at all, turning your back like you’re incredibly interested with the wallpaper that likely hasn’t been replaced in years.
It’s his heat that draws your attention—that steals your breath, and makes every muscle in your body tense with anticipation.
“You’re shivering,” he murmurs.
Kyle is so close. Close enough that his breath brushes against your bare shoulder. You’re just in your bra and underwear, the only items that aren’t completely soaked from the rain.
He inhales, and that exhalation teases your flesh again. Giving in, you close your eyes, sinking into Kyle’s presence.
When you open them again, you notice a mirror hanging on the wall. It’s great if you were trying to plan an outfit, but that isn’t what you notice.
Instead, you see yourself. And Kyle.
The backs of his knuckles lightly caress the side of your arm. His head is tipped forward and turned inward like you’ll turn around any moment to kiss him.
The urge is there. Tugging. Wanting you to do just that.
The two of you are always walking around the other, seeking comfort and closeness but never seizing it. Maybe you should. Maybe—turning around is the best thing you can do for yourself.
“Kyle,” you breathe, and his little hum in answer tightens that string.
Without hesitation, you do turn.
Kyle’s lips are right there. They’re parted slightly. Inviting.
His arm drapes across your waist, hand splaying wide against your stomach, pressing until the two of you are sandwiched together.
It’s not like you don’t want this. You do. You want Kyle. Have since the moment he introduced himself to you. But the two of you have always remained professional in every space you occupy.
And now there is no one around.
No one to see.
No one to know.
Your head tips back in answer, and Kyle leans into it, pressing his lips to yours. It is sweet. Gentle. More of an ask than anything else.
And you reply, meeting him in equal measure. The pressure on your stomach increases just as Kyle’s other hand wraps around the front of your throat, holding you still. Each kiss is a claiming, one you freely submit to.
Kyle is all sugared-warmth, and you want to rot your teeth.
Draping your arm around the back of his neck, you pull him closer. Kyle nips. Bites. Sucks your bottom lip into his mouth before soothing the burn with a few tender kisses. Heat blossoms in your core before morphing into an aching slickness.
You’ve been putting him off—brushing him aside.
Why wait any longer when Kyle is all you crave?
“Fucking hell, love,” he groans against your mouth.
Your lips part, and Kyle slides his tongue inside. His taste is everything, but you want to know him everywhere.
Your hand seeks, brushing against his hardness through his boxer briefs. When you slip your hand beneath the elastic band, Kyle’s only response to kiss you harder.
Wrapping your fingers around him, you start to stroke what you can with the little room you have. Your thumb brushes over the head of his cock and Kyle draws back.
“I’ve wanted this since I met you,” he says, voice a bit rough.
Twisting in his grip, you turn to face him. “Can I show you how much I’ve wanted you, too?” you ask, pressing your breasts against his chest.
Kyle loosens his hold and you drop to your knees, taking his boxer briefs with you. His cock is gorgeous. It curves upward slightly, and a pearly bead of precum blooms in the slit.
He whispers your name, and then you have him in hand. Stroking once. Twice.
You lick off that bead. Savor his taste. Go back for more.
Kyle grabs the back of your head, drawing you to him. You open your mouth. Swallow him down. Throating him until you gag.
“Fuck,” he groans, elongating the vowel.
You work him with hand and mouth, keeping a steady rhythm that has him weak and wanton. You have all the control—until you don’t.
“Let me fuck your mouth, love. Please.”
The please is what does it. You release his cock, placing both hands on his thighs. With a pleased growl, Kyle keeps your head stationary. You anticipate the first thrust, and it is sinful. The movement goes straight to your pussy as you imagining him fucking you there like he fucks your mouth.
Fingers dig into muscled thigh. You want to touch yourself, to tease your clit while he does it. He is a god above you—Adonis.
“Can’t wait to taste your cunt, love,” rasps Kyle. “Can’t wait to make you drip for me.”
His desire fuels your own, and you urge him on, gently cupping him with one hand, thumb lightly rubbing the sensitive strip of flesh there.
Kyle’s hips stutter, and you relax your throat, humming around his cock as your lips meet the base. He holds you there, and you take it all, thighs chaffing from the friction of you rubbing them together in anticipation.
You blink up at him, and Kyle wipes away a tear with his thumb.
“My turn,” he murmurs.
You’re on your feet and then on your back in seconds. All the wind is knocked out of you, and then Kyle’s tongue is there, sliding through your slickness. Parting. Teasing the opening of your vagina before trailing upward to circle around your clit.
Gasping, your hands reach for him. Kyle grabs both wrists, keeps them planting on your stomach as he fucks you with his tongue. His shoulders dig into your thighs, keeping them wide. He’s stronger than you even as your thighs quiver, wanting to close, wanting to shut.
Kyle groans against your pussy, and then he’s on your clit, moving in such an easy, languid way that everything explodes outward. A shudder passes from the tips of your toes to the top of your head. Your pussy clenches. Unclenches. Clenches again.
Kyle doesn’t let up. He doesn’t cease. Every stroke strikes true and then your body betrays itself, overstimulation setting in, and the urge to wiggle away is paramount.
But just as you push at him—just as your body draws back. Kyle is releasing your wrists, pushing himself up and over you, spreading those legs even wider to slide inside.
The bed creaks beneath you, and then he’s thrusting.
Your moans of pleasure become one with the rain.
John "Soap" MacTavish
Single lamp. Lone bed.
Peeling paint. Dusty corners.
“Something’s on your mind.” Your voice is the only sound in the room other than the AC unit.
Soap’s sigh is soft and small as he takes a seat on the edge of the bed.
It’s the last night before the potential end. Before victory or failure. Just the two of you now with the plan to meet up with others later.
He nods, and you take a tentative step forward. “We attended the briefing. You know the details.”
“Aye.”
“Then what has you worried?” you ask, taking another step in Soap’s direction.
A warm, orange glow emits from the singular lamp on the bedside table. It’s not enough light to illuminate the cheap peeling paint or the dirt in the corners of the room. It only gives life to the bed and the side of Soap’s face.
It’s not like you have an unlimited budget. A motel room is the best the two of you could manage for some rest before moving on. The man at the desk didn’t even glance up when he asked if they only wanted a room for an hour.
You had asked for two beds. The man at the desk replied that no one who stops here asks for that.
One bed it is.
One bed.
Somehow, you’ll have to sleep beside Soap while simultaneously shoving down the urge to reach out to him.
Sighing, Soap leans forward, forearms resting on his knees. His gaze drifts slightly as if he’s not focusing on anything in particular. Running his fingers through his short mohawk, he tugs on the ends, mussing the freshly washed strands, creating a wavy mess.
Just that one movement as you leaning forward, nostrils flaring to inhale that clean scent.
“Adaptability,” he answers. Finally.
Instead of sitting on the bed beside him, you sink to your knees, resting your arm on the bed, and your chin on your arm.
The two of you have been on missions before but never together like this.
Never alone.
Keeping your gaze downward, you notice just how close you are to him—and how Soap leans in your direction, the edge of his knee brushing against the side of your hand.
It’s a small contact, but he’s warm, and that warmth is transferring into yourself, unspooling outward. It’s a difficult thing—because all this time you’ve harbored feelings for him, and yet have never acted on them.
“You’re quick on your feet, Soap,” you murmur, one finger absently extended to brush over the curve of his knee.
The corner of his mouth twitches. “You can call me Johnny.”
Johnny. You’ve never called him that. Soap, sure. Sergeant MacTavish? All the time.
“I thought Ghost only had that right.”
Only Ghost calls Soap ‘Johnny.’ That’s understood by everyone.
Soap shrugs. “He did.” He glances at you, his smile widening. “But I’d like to hear you say it.”
Something swirls in your stomach, twisting like a knife.
“How would you like to hear it?” you reply.
Johnny’s smile, which is so wide and teasing, softens into a sultry smirk. “I have options?”
“You do.”
Johnny’s usual playfulness emerges. “Say it like you’re angry with me.”
“Johnny,” you say, deepening your voice to sound like Ghost.
He bursts out laughing, falling back onto the bed, clutching his stomach. “Oh, aye. I’ll give you that.”
“What else?” you tease. “I demand more.”
“Say it like you’re annoyed with me.”
You do just that, and Johnny sits up, turning on his side.
“Again,” you prompt.
The middle of Johnny’s brow creases and then his hand cradles the side of your face. He closes the distance, kissing you deeply—as if you are his lover and not a friend.
But you don’t pull away. You indulge yourself, kissing him back just as sweetly.
You’re not sure how much time passes, just that it does, and his small retreat after it’s done is all you have in acknowledging its passing.
The withdrawal is short. Johnny doesn’t move away. He keeps his hand on your cheek. The tip of his nose nearly brushing yours.
“Say it now,” he breathes, voice raspy.
“Johnny,” but it’s not what you intended to say.
He sighs. “Again.”
“Johnny.”
This time he groans, and then your lips are fusing, becoming one. You’re dragged off the floor and into his arms, tangling in his heat, forgetting yourself completely.
“Johnny,” you repeat, and then your shirt is gone, followed by your bra.
He nips at the curve of your breasts before sucking your nipple into his mouth. His teeth graze flesh and you say his name again until it becomes a strangled moan.
The front of your jeans is open, and his hand is there, cupping your sex, fingers dragging through your wetness.
“Johnny,” but it’s to stop him, to remind him that this cannot go on.
“Fucking hell. Love the way you say my name.”
This melts your resolve. Makes your legs spread wider. Makes you shove at your pants and create plenty of space.
Johnny knows. He understands.
He yanks them down even as he peppers your breasts with little nips and kisses. Your fingers drags through his hair as he sucks the other nipple into his mouth, bringing it to perky attention.
One finger slides inside, and you groan loudly, legs falling wide as Johnny settles himself between.
“Beautiful,” he murmurs, claiming your mouth and pumping his finger. You whimper as he inserts a second. “Wanted you so bad.”
Your pussy flutters, squeezing around him. It is Johnny that groans this time, and it is a primal sound.
“Can I fuck you?” he asks. “Please.”
“Johnny,” you breathe. “Johnny.”
“Need a yes or no. Tell me. Do you want me? I’ve wanted you.”
You answer by finding him—guiding him to the place you need him to.
With a low growl, Johnny pins your arms above your head, slotting his pelvis against yours, the head of his cock sinking in until you’re taking all of him.
“Johnny!”
“That’s what I want to hear,” he croons, starting to thrust.
Simon "Ghost" Riley
“I can’t tell what blood is yours and what isn’t.”
“Can fucking do it myself.”
“Ghost—”
“It’s not a problem.”
“Simon,” you snap, and he stops fidgeting.
Behind the plain balaclava, you see the fire in Lieutenant Riley’s eyes. This man is your superior. At least, right now he is. But the mission is done. It’s over. Yet the two of you are stranded, and making contact with Price is going to take time.
Not to mention that Simon is injured, and you have no fucking idea where at.
“Let me help you,” you say as soothingly as possible.
You don’t want to fight with him. All you want is to help Simon, to clean him up, and get him into bed. Rest and healing are what he needs right now. Contacting Price can wait. Base can stew for a while longer.
The two of you are in a motel room in the middle of fucking nowhere America. It’s shit overall, but it will have to do. There’s no way anyone is searching for the two of you out here. You drove until you nearly ran out of gas, and then you refilled and drove some more. Simon was in the back of the car, covered in blood.
But he was awake. Moving. Not a head injury, and not enough to get him immediate medical treatment. Not like he would have allowed you to take him to a hospital anyway. Lieutenant Riley is fucking stubborn. Sometimes infuriatingly so.
Simon stares, hard, his dark eyes intense behind the balaclava. He blinks, and then pushes up from the chair, keeping his gaze trained on you.
“Lieutenant,” you mutter, annoyed.
As Simon stands and attempts to take a step forward, his left leg wobbles, and he nearly topples forward. Your arms go out to catch him, holding him steady. He’s a big guy, and he seems to know this because he tries to prop himself up using the chair.
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not,” you snap.”
“Listen—”
“I’m not arguing with you Simon Riley.”
Using his full name shuts him up. It’ll likely earn you a reprimand later, but fuck it, you’re over this.
“Stay there.” You shove him back down into the chair and head into the bathroom.
There is a single overhead light. Flipping the switch turns it on and the fan. It’s a tight space, but thankfully the shower isn’t also a tub. That would be a nightmare getting him in. Instead, there is a sink, a toilet, and a dividing wall that cuts the room in half. It’s more like a locker shower but it’ll work.
Reaching in, you turn the handle. You jump back as cold water shoots out of the shower head. After waiting for a few seconds, steam starts to rise.
You take a deep breath, knowing what you have to do. “You got this,” you murmur, heading back into the room.
Simon leans forward in the chair, forearms resting on his knees.
You hold out your hand. “Let’s go.”
Lieutenant Riley’s head swivels in your direction. “Seriously?”
“Yes,” you reply, holding firm. “Come on.”
With a deep sigh, Simon reaches out and slides his hand into yours. It’s warm. Calloused. You squeeze it and step forward, extending your other arm to wrap around his torso. Simon stands. Wobbles. But you snake your arm around him, and then it’s a slow trek into the bathroom.
Simon is limping, but he’s showing no other signs that his injury hurts him. Might be minor, or he’s just good at covering up the pain.
Once the two of you are inside the bathroom, you realize just how small the space is. Maneuvering Simon to the shower is difficult, a weird dance to wiggle around the door and toilet to the opening of the shower.
You retreat slightly, and Simon leans against the wall, his eyelids closing as he takes a deep breath.
“You good?” you ask, concern creasing your brow.
Simon nods. “I’ll manage.” His eyelids open slowly and then he stares into the shower. “You want me in there?”
“You’ll need to remove a few things first,” you reply, gesturing toward his uniform.
Simon snorts. “Trying to get me naked?”
“You wish,” you retort, even as your cheeks heat with embarrassment. “Need help?”
At first, Simon doesn’t say anything. He just reaches for his belt, removing it slowly with one hand.
“I’ll leave you to it,” you mumble, starting to turn away.
“Wait.”
You freeze, and then glance over your shoulder. “What is it?”
Simon shrugs. “What if I slip? Might need you to catch me.”
This bastard.
“Then I’ll stay,” you reply cooly, pretending that this doesn’t affect you.
But it does. It’s reshaping you, and Simon’s slow undressing isn’t helping things. He keeps his gaze on you the entire time, and you purposefully keep your eyes averted, when really you want to look. You want to know what he’s like under all that.
The belt goes. So does his tactical gear and jacket. Next is his shirt followed by his balaclava. You sneak a peek then, and Simon grins at you like he knew you’d look eventually.
“I’ll need some help with these. Getting them down that is.” Simon gestures towards his pants and you feel your face grow so hot you fear it might explode.
“Sure.”
You reach for him, silently chastising your shaking fingers. This is too much, even though you like it, and want more from it. You undo the button and zipper. Sliding your hands beneath the band, you shimmy Simon’s pants to the floor. He kicks them away and all that’s left are his boxer briefs. They’re tight and you notice the massive bulge in front.
Fuck.
“You can do the rest,” you reply, glancing away.
Simon removes them, and then he starts forward, arms outstretched to balance himself as he enters the shower.
“Fucking hell,” moans Simon as the hot water hits his body.
The groan that comes after is deep, and so sultry you feel a bolt of pleasure spike from your pussy.
“Should join me.”
“No thanks,” you say, averting your gaze away from Simon’s muscled backside.
One moment you’re facing the wall, and the next you’re under the spray of water.
“What the fuck,” you shriek, stumbling backward as Simon chuckles. Muttering under your breath, you stare down at your soaked clothing. “Goddamn it.” You start removing articles of clothing, the wet fabric peeling away from your skin.
“Fucking fine, Simon.”
You shed everything and storm under the spray, only for Simon to wrap his arms around your waist and pull you against him. There is no pause between then and the moment his lips find yours. It is sweet, and warm. You instantly melt, enjoying every second.
But it’s fleeting.
You draw back, heart hammering in your chest.
“You’re covered in blood. Remember?”
Simon shrugs and then offers you the soap. “Clean me then.”
You do it, and when you’re done, he does the same for you. It’s far too intimate, and Simon’s gentleness is surprising. Once finished, you dry and bandage the wound on his leg. It’s not terrible—and will likely need stitches—but it’s not bleeding anymore.
The singular bed in the middle of the room is far too small. Not with Simon in at, spread out and naked under the sheets.
You slide in beside him, not knowing where you should settle. Simon is large, taking up most of the best. The only place is curled up next to his side.
Turning your resolve to steal, you settle in. You begin to turn away from Simon, but his arm shoots out, grasping your waist. You’re yanked across the bed, only to find yourself in Simon’s arms.
“What are you doing?” you ask.
“Stop pretending, love. We both know what’s going on. Don’t deny it.”
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.
“Simon—”
“We’ve been making eyes at each other for fucking months. And now we’re alone. You think I don’t see the opportunity?”
Simon’s hand slides over the curve of your ass, and then dips beneath your shirt. You’re not wearing underwear, and when his fingers brush over your pussy, you gasp, pressing into him.
“You’re already wet for me,” growls Simon as he drags a finger through your folds. “So fucking wet.” He presses in, and your pussy parts for him.
“We can’t, Simon. You’re injured.”
“Not so much,” he coos. “Especially since I can do this.” On this, Simon drags the tips of his finger along the inside your pussy, hitting that sweet spot.
You moan, fingers digging into his chest as your back arches to press you further down on him.
“It’s just my leg that’s injured.” Simon’s lips brush against your cheek and then the edge of your ear. His breath is warm against your skin. “I can still fuck you. Have you on top. Bounce you on my cock.” Simon gives the curve of your ear the faintest kiss. “Would you like that, love? Do you want me to fuck you?”
“We—we—”
With his other hand, Simon grasps the back of your neck, drawing you against him, silencing whatever it is you’re trying to say. He seizes your mouth in a fierce kiss. You open for him, and his tongue slides inside. He tastes nice, and you want to sink into the feeling. Have him devour you completely.
“Let me in,” he murmurs against your lips.
You push up, doing exactly as he wants you to do. You settle on his lap, his hard cock pressed up against your thigh.
With a low growl, Simon removes your shirt, leaving you completely bare to his gaze.
“Much better,” he says, cupping your breasts as you lean on his chest, lifting your hips.
His cock slides through your folds, and then you start the descent, moaning as he splits you in two. The stretch is intense—nearly sharp with pain, but laced with pleasure. Simon’s eyelids flutter slightly, and his groan is pure sin.
Simon lightly squeezes your breasts one more time before his hands find your hips. He lifts you up, and then back down, bouncing you on his cock. You cling to him, allowing him to use you, to fuck you in whatever way he wants.
Each grunt and growl from him only makes you wetter. Hungrier.
“I’m gonna come inside you.”
It’s not a question. There is no other option, and you wouldn’t take anything else even if there was.
“Please,” you whimper.
Simon’s hands tighten, his hips thrusting upward to meet every downward movement. He sits up, his mouth clamping around a nipple to nip and suck. Your orgasm roars up from nowhere, and then you’re clenching around him, milking Simon’s cock as his own end greets him.
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