#i have very few pics of myself that i can actually post here lmao so u know

[perfectlullabies]

🤍🤍🤍🤍

[fereldanwench]

I didn't want to completely sit out a year-in-review, but for reasons I'll explain at the end of this post and under a cut, doing the traditional pick-one-pic-from-each-month approach just wasn't going to work for me. So instead, here are 20 of my favorite shots (in no particular order) of Valerie from 2023!

(I'll share solo Goro shots and shippy/story shots in two other posts before the year ends.)

Some thoughts about this year (cw for anxiety and depression mentions):

So yeah. I actually hadn't planned on joining in on the virtual photography year-in-review fun in part because... Well, frankly, I wasn't sure if it would actually be fun for me.

Although I do have pictures for every month, the first third, maybe even half, of the year was a struggle on almost every conceivable level. A lot of it was shit that carried over from the end of 2022, which was also an incredibly difficult year for me. I don't really want to delve too deeply into why--Some of it was personal, some of it was professional, some of it was fandom, and if you know, you know.

The main obstacle I had here is that looking at a lot of the shots I took from about January to May (give or take a few weeks on either end) honestly reminded me of Bad Times™️. I've worked really hard to pull myself out of that depression/anxiety cycle and return to a healthier approach to fandom and online socialization in general, but I just didn't want to spend a lot of time in that mental space. There are a few shots from those months that made it to my favorites, and I hope one day I can look back on that stuff and just feel the good from it again. Alas, that day is still not here.

But I am happy to report that the other reason I wanted to approach the review differently is a lot more positive! It's also two-fold: 1) I spent the earlier part of this year exploring more of a technical side of virtual photography and 2) I was really prolific the last third or so of this year so trying to narrow faves from about August until now was just not possible.

One of the few good things about the end of 2022 was being able to upgrade my graphics card, which meant I then had a rig that could support ray-tracing and hot sampling. As a result, I started putting a lot more focus on lighting and getting acquainted with new tools. I also was trying to work with the new AMM posing system, which is very convenient in some ways (100s of poses without reloading the game!) and a complete pain in the ass in others (can't move characters without their poses breaking!). Custom photomode poses + Nibbles Replacer has been the game changer I've been waiting for.

Or to put it more succinctly, December 2022 through about April 2023 felt like a relearning/return to basics kind of creative period, which is essential, but also means I just don't really like a lot of what I did, lmao.

Then, shockingly (I'm not shocked at all), starting treatment for my anxiety and depression in the second half of this year suddenly made creating a lot easier and fun again! Crazy how that works.

Even bumping this little review up to 20 shots instead of 12, there are still pictures from the past few months that I had to cut as favorites. There was just no way I could condense the amount of fave shots I took from August to now in just 5 options.

I also owe quite a bit of this revival to modders for asking me if I wanted to take shots for them--Exploring more of a fashion photography approach to my shots I think did a lot to build on what I had learned earlier in the year and encouraged me to try something new. I don't want to tag anyone in this long-ass glorified diary entry, but if you invited me to take mod shots for you, just know that it really meant a lot. ♡

And that's where my head has been with a yearly review! Is filling out a little template with 12 pictures this serious? No, it definitely is not, lmao. But hey, overthinking shit is still something I'm working on. ✌️

[cowboy]

journal #2

Good eve. :)

I've been in a strange way these past few days. I don't even know where to start seeing as this is seen by strangers who know nothing about my life, not even the mundane or simple things. but I'll just go into it.

This feeling I've been having of feeling like a tiger pacing in a cage has existed for years now and it flares up every once in a while. what does it feel like to let that pressure buildup go? is it possible to let it go? what would cause that pressure to burst and be freed? is this feeling eternally subconscious-to-conscious-to-subconscious-again? as in, i feel like it comes and goes but always exists. does it ever truly, truly leave? what does it mean to feel free, or cageless, anyway?

do y'all even know that feeling i'm talking about? lmao.

i have been going crazy over this crush for way too long and that's definitely adding to my feeling. i feel absolutely tied to a crush when i have one; i become addicted to the sensation of being near them and i forego so many of my desires and needs for them.

i came back home the other day to a messy room for five days in a row and only today could i clean it. i'm actually also realizing i haven't had my meds for a month now and i think that's really adding to this feeling and these actions (or... lack thereof).

anyway, i made a hinge profile this morning and i quickly realized how much i enjoy being found cute! it usually makes me feel really nervous but the separation of an app/ability to just swipe left or whatever made me feel more in control. to be clear, i hate that i enjoy it so much. i feel very vain in that sense -- i suppose it's human, but i'd like to think i don't need/want to be found attractive. oh well. i do i guess. not sure if that's something i should like... fix.

hinge both helped and did not help at all with my crush. i've been able to realize there's attractive funny interesting people out there that my crush tunnel vision was distracting me from, so i feel a lot less tethered to my crush. on the flipside, i realized so quickly that the type of person i am really truly fully attracted to at the moment doesn't exist, because it's just my crush. i just want someone exactly like him because i just like him so much. Lmaoooooooooo.

i'm also feeling stuck on this one art piece i'm making for my now-ex-but-still-bestie -- here's a pic of all the drafts i made of it:

that pic is missing one; four drafts total exist.

here's a close up of the most completed one:

plus my stupid looking goose ass. (my eye is red and irritated rn.)

it says "isn't it funny that we're here and not there?" i liked this concept for a while but now i am sick of it after drawing it three times and i feel like the message is boring to me now. i wanna draw something new, but i haven't properly set aside the time to develop any novel concept that would be appropriate as a gift for my friend.

anyway, i'll try to figure that out. what i'm more interested is -- do you feel like you get anything from this image, emotionally or intellectually? does it interest you at all whatsoever? what do you think the meaning is behind this piece, if any is notable at all? (i like it when people form opinions or theories behind the meanings of my pieces, so anything is valid 100%.)

also, would anyone be interested in purchasing one of these original drafts from me for like $10 or $15? again, i'm seeing if i might dip my toes into selling my art online so any feedback is helpful. hehe.

i'll end here. i have some more to post -- i'll be posting a little sketch comic draft of "notes on having a crush" and maybe people can find those relatable or what have you.

i hope everyone's having an excellent day. i am having a good one myself, despite that strange feeling of being pent-up and unresolved. :)

[depraved-gf]

So a few things. Do you actually get off to these? It get's you horny and twitching in the right places? Idk, I just find it kinda weird. Dont get me wrong. I LOVE IT. LOVE YOU. I think you must be the most interactive and someone who seems like they answer all ask, dms, reblogs and quotes on their post. And I admire that level of engagement. The dedication. I made the mistake of coming into tumblr while working, (I share an office) and I have a massive boner, can't really move, even gotta be careful with how I breathe because these suit pants are kinda tight. And I just feel the pre-cum building up there. Im leaving this shite as soon as I send this.

UNGH. I honestly find you so attractive. I want to have you follow my main blog and my porn blog and just chat you up and stuff. But I'm afraid Id turn it sexual like 2 out of 3 times, my libido is insane.

Yeah. Much love. Office, shower, and now bed anon. What can I say, kinda obsessed with you.

A few things myself!

1. Yes. Rape threats, stories, even pics get me all riled up. What can I say? I have quite the vivid imagination and I guess I'm just incredibly horny by nature.

2. Bless you for that, sincerely. I may not get to everyone and it's by sheer accident, but I really do try my best. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed and I take a bit to respond, or try to warn that my DMs are off (which they are currently), but I always feel so guilty. I know what it's like not to be responded to.

3. You did make a terrible mistake if you share an office, ope 💀 I do it often though LOL but I wfh. ...A massive boner in suit pants, huh? Pre cum? That you can't breathe without them tightening-? ...mm. The image. Annnd you say you're obsessed? You're spoiling me here. 👀

You're my office anon, yes? I'd follow you if you told me. <3

PS I use tumblr solely for sexual use. I'd be disappointed if conversation didn't turn sexual lmao (with the exception of one very nice moot who only sends me adorable cat pics, if u see this ily).

[koffing-time]

I will gladly interact with you! Send an ask! @ me! I would love to RP with you. I will do an (IC) promo if you ask (assuming i'm popular enough for that lmao)!

Hello Hello ~

My name is Tix (they/them, occasionally it/its), and welcome to my rotomblr blog! I'm 23, I'm from Unova and i have a small café on Route 3 right outside Striaton City. If you don't find it, just look for the Daycare on the hill, walk up that hill and look for the building at the foot of the hill! And now come in and get a cupcake, you earned it!

Don't be alarmed by the poison types around here! Most of them are registered to me and are completely harmless unless you touch them. They are also friendly, so if you wanna pet them, ask me! I'll gladly provide handling advice.

I also have an employee, Olivia. I might occasionally mention him. Maybe she'll also make a few post here and there.

There is also Brandy, my Rotom. Let's hope they can behave!

As for my Pokémon, there are a few! [Complete list of Pokémon including retcons at the end in the ooc section]

My Koffing, Coffee! The shop's named after him! Look at his FABULOUS moustache!

Bienenstich the Scolipede, she's very good with kids. If you need someone to look after your toddler, she's the gal! (i am so not kidding)

Cream the Haunter. No, your drink isn't haunted, she just helps me out a bit.

Muffin the Roselia, he's the primary gardener. I would do more around there but he doesn't let me.

Poppy the Toxicroak, he's a cool guy. He also makes music with me.

Basil the Toxtricity. Best bassist i've ever met (sorry Roxie).

Carrot Cake the Clodsire. He doesn't do much, but that's okay.

Rhubarb the Ekans. Little rascal. Don't trip over him.

Eggplant the Skorupi. He's new, still getting to know him myself!

Soup the Grimer is also quite new. I hatched him from a strange egg.

Also here's three pics of me. (//i forgor what the picrew were. if anyone knows, let me know)

//Pelipper Mail is on

//I will draw your OCs badly

OOC below the cut:

// Hi, hello. I run this blog as a side blog, so I'll like and follow from my main @fire-water-grass-core. If you need to address me (the player/mun), I'm okay with any pronouns, and if you need a name you can call me Kama, Nox or Cheese. I also run:

@zekrom-sword where i explore some darker themes (ig?) regarding pokémon hunting. This blog is less focused on blogging though and goes more into headcanon/fanfic territory. I'm happy to RP with Felix (muse over there) though!

@fire-water-grass-core is the main, as mentioned. Originally it was planned for that one to be a personal blog for Olivia, Tix' employee, but i didn't really get into it. I mostly use it for OOC stuff regarding rotomblr ig?

@kamataros is my general, non-pkmn-irl blog. idk what you would want there? but feel free to check it out. I post a lot of shit and a lot of it is untagged.

NOW for the rules ig?

ZERO: don't be a dick. easy, right? right. This is the important part :)

First: blanket #unreality warning. I will tag posts usually as pokemon irl, #pkmn irl or #pokeblogging. The actual unreality tag is reserved that genuinely blends reality and fiction (such as talking about animals in the context of the pokemon world.)

Second: i went on a BIG hiatus for like 6 months. I've retconned a few things, but i didn't want to actually go through the blog and delete stuff. Instead, i tagged all old posts as #Koffing-Time-1.0. Everything with this tag is not neccesarily canon anymore. case-to-case basis i guess.

Third: If anything comes up, I'll try to put a warning tag. I'll keep it to one format: #cw [trigger]. I will probably still use them sparingly, since i'm personally okay with most things. Please tell me if i should tag something.

Fourth: I won't participate in high stakes a lot and probably never in ultra stakes. Everything will be appropriately tagged #high stakes pokereality on the off chance that i do join. I don't think i will be getting into details like "low stakes" and "medium stakes" for tagging.

Fifth: Regarding sentient/sapient pokémon: they are allowed. I might ignore them if i ever do any story-arcs or so, but go ahead! (this was different for 1.0)

Sixth: Ask games will be tagged with #ask game. Once i reblog them, they are open indefinitely, including old ones from #Koffing-Time-1.0. The tag will be for the initial meme only, not the answers to make it possible to find them. Generally, please put the question for the meme into your ask, especially if it's an older ask game. (Feel free to ask Brandy or Olivia as well, but if not specified it will be Tix answering)

Seventh: DMs are an OOC zone :)

OTHER TAGS:

I'm trying to use a funny tagging system for blogs i "frequently" interact with (as in.. i am not chronically on tumblr so "frequently" is a bit much to say)

Out of Character posts will be tagged with #ooc . This goes only for posts where a significant portion is ooc.

Out of Character answers to asks will be tagged #cheesy answers

Out of Character notes will be marked as // or //ooc (including tags)

I might reblog art or even posts that tix isn't involved in. these will be tagged #//reblog

Posts involving details about certain headcanons will be tagged #headcanon

Image descriptions or Video description will be in [brackets] .

Also here is a (not complete) list of a few headcanons that i use.

I'll update and edit this post as well as reblog it if something changes.

Lastly

I, Cheese, Mun will use pink coloured text in addition to the //

Tix will be writing/talking in colourless text

Olivia will be writing/talking in blue text

Brandy will be writing/talking in red text

otherwise, i won't use much colours in posts. this intro blog stuff will be the exception to make it easier to read (i hope)

That being said: feel free to interact, feel free to send a DM, feel free to send asks, I'm happy to do offscreen posts and RP and whatnot, I won't bite and i won't poison you. Probably.

PS: little thing about reblog chains (i guess?)

Now, that was a long one. If you read it all, congratulations, have a cookie. Or a coffee. And most importantly: have fun!

PPS: Here's a list of Tix'Pokémon:

Coffee the Koffing

Muffin the Roselia

Bienenstich the Scolipede

Cream the Haunter

Poppy the Toxicroak

Basil the Toxtricity

Cracker the Murkrow (retconned) [it hurt me to do this but there are so many already] (never fucking mind i love them too much i can't delete them)

Cheese the (shiny) Crobat (retconned) [it hurt me to do this but there are so many already] (never fucking mind i love them too much i can't delete them)

Rhubarb the Ekans

Chocco the Salandit (retconned)

Carrot Cake the Clodsire

Pumpkin the Bellsprout (retconned)

Loaf the Trubbish (retconned)

Yoghurt the Yveltal (retconned)

Bun the (ultra domesticated) Trubbish (retconned)

Roll the (ultra domesticated) Tubbish (retconned)

Appleslice the (ultra domesticated) Mareanie (reconned)

Bacon the (ultra domesticated) Mareanie (retconned)

Lettuce the (ultra domesticated) Mareanie (retconned)

Tomato the (ultra domesticated) Mareanie (retconned)

Caramel the Beedrill (retconned)

Tofu the Sliggoo (retconned)

Annie Stonefruit the (albino) Cranidos (retconned)

Jack the Pumpkaboo (retconned)

Brandy the Rotom

Eggplant the Skorupi

Leonard the bed-sized Clodsire Plush

Soup the Baby-Grimer

If all of Tix team appear in a post (i doubt) it'll be tagged with #tix band

Also a list of Olivias Pokémon

Hans the Lotad

Grill the Darmanitan

Marbles the Alolan Exeggutor (tagged with just #marbles the exeggutor )

The Kalosian the Escavalier (tagged with just #kalosian the escavalier)

Beach Ball the Gible

Gregor the Gimmighoul

If all of Olivias Team appear in a post, it'll be tagged #olivias gang

[megan-loves-surveys]

#32. (sex survey in here, btw)

What was the last big change through which you went? Do you deal well with change, typically? Have you always? Mmm, it was getting a boyfriend and him actually being long-term haha. And it depends on the change.

What is something fun you have done within the past week? Maniacs show last night was very fun, I went with my wrestling friends and the crowd was big and rowdy.

Have you ever read any self-help books? No.

Do you thank the bus driver? Yep. The only time I don't is when it's super busy and the driver likely wouldn't hear me. Otherwise I always do.

Are you scared of needles? No.

Do you know anyone who is/was a drug addict? No.

Do you tend to cave into peer pressure? Not at all.

Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? Yep.

Who was the last person you went to the movies with? My boyfriend.

Do you ever fear falling asleep? If I'm being honest, a few times I have, but it's just my anxiety acting up. When my heartrate was being weird, I told my boyfriend and he was like "stop being silly, you'll be fine, you'll wake up tomorrow and annoy me immediately" LMAO. Of course, he was right :P

What do you think is the youngest age someone should lose their virginity? I was 14, I think it should be older than that. 16 is the age of consent here and that's fine.

Do you believe in abstaining from sex until marriage? Good lord no. I don't want to get married, does that mean I should just never have sex? Get the fuck outta here lol. If you wanna do that, more power to you but everybody should make their own decision on that, it's nobody's business when people have sex, that's personal.

What is your sexual orientation? Bi.

What is something you have acquired with age? Hmm.

Do you enjoy history? Not particularly.

Have you ever changed religions? I've never had a religion to change.

Have you ever lied about your gender? No. People have accused me of it though, I've been accused of being a dude loads of times online. It's stupid lmao, I had a bunch of pics of myself and if I was gonna lie about being somebody else, I'd use pics of a much hotter girl LOL.

Have you ever designed your own Facebook timeline cover? I have, kinda. I put together a montage of pics of me meeting The Shield guys when I finally got to meet Seth and had it as my cover pic for ages. Now I just have a pic of The Shield as a group xD

What is one site that closed down that you wish would come back? Bzoink lol, it closed down not that long ago, it was my main site for surveys. I'd also love different forums I posted on to come back so I can re-read the threads I posted on and that.

Are you a fan of the Saw movies? Not really, I've seen a few of them but they're not really my thing.

Do you ever forget how old your siblings are? -

Who last talked about kissing you? My boyfriend.

Did you speak to your father today? Not today, but he liked my last FB post lol.

Would you ever get gauged ears? No.

Do you believe in moving in together before engagement or marriage? Sure, if that's what you want.

Did you ever give a hickey to the last person you kissed or you guys didn’t go that far? Hickeys are gross, I told my boyfriend if he gives me, I will kick his ass LOL, so I wouldn't give him one either.

List five of your favorite YouTubers. Call Me Kevin, ashens, Gray Still Plays, HeroVoltsy and Matt Rose. CMK and GSP do absolutely chaotic gaming videos, ashens reviews knockoff and cheap items, HV is a Pokétuber who plays fangames and ROM hacks and Matt Rose does insane videos where he reads things from the internet.

What pet names do you use with your significant other? I mostly call him babe or baby.

Who is your best online friend? All of my Discord wrestling friends, but I get on with Mordy and Donnie the best.

Who knows more about you: online friends or offline? Online tbh hahaha.

What’s something you find unconventionally romantic? When my boyfriend attempts to show interest in things I know he doesn't give two flying fucks about, haha. It's so cute seeing him try when I ramble on about girl groups or boybands xD He tries to be interested cos he knows it means a lot to me, and I find that very lovely.

List 3-10 things in nature you find amazing. Um...

What is one song that you’ve been listening to on repeat lately? Most of Madison Beer's Life Support album, but "Effortlessly" the most from it.

Do you enjoy creative writing? Yes.

Do you sleep with just a sheet in summer when it’s hot? Yes, I have a duvet but I always throw it off immediately when I get in bed haha. I HAVE to have a cover of some sort on me even if it's blazing hot, otherwise I can't sleep.

Do you get bursts of creative energy or is it more consistent? I definitely get bursts.

Have you ever been chased by a dog? Yes.

Is your voice high, low, or somewhere in the middle? Lower than what you'd expect from me.

What’s the next friend or family birthday coming up? Will you buy them a present? My boyfriend on May 1, and I've bought his present, I'm getting him aftershave and a shirt he had his eye on but keeps forgetting to buy lol.

What was the last book you read? Reach For The Stars.

What are your plans for tomorrow? Work, and the gym afterwards.

Is there a gang problem in your area? We have gangs, but I don't know if they're a "problem" as such. The ones we see just go jogging and are always polite when they pass you LOL.

Do you make your Starbucks order more complicated if it isn’t busy? No, I stick to my main favourite drinks.

Would you date an already attached person? No.

When you marry, will you wear white? I'm not getting married.

Is there anything significant happening this month? April is almost over and nothing big is happening for the rest of it - next month is my boyfriend's birthday, a few WWE PPVs, a few indie shows and Eurovision. Gonna be a fun month.

What are your grandfathers’ names? Jack was my Granddad on my Dad's side... I'm gonna admit I don't know my other Granddad's name, cos I never met him :(

Have you ever seen a snake in real life? Only in a zoo or something lol, cos there isn't snakes in NZ.

Do you know anyone that has been held hostage before? No.

Can you ever hear dogs barking from your house? Does it annoy you? Yep. One of our neighbours has this dog that loves to bark whenever they go out and leave it alone, it's so annoying. The poor dog gets ignored a lot.

What’s your main reason for booking taxis? I don't remember the last time I took a taxi in NZ lol. So I guess the main reason is that I'm traveling and in a foreign country xD

When was the last time you saw your partner (or your best friend)? Partner - yesterday, he picked me up from work. Best friend - a few weeks ago, before she went to Japan.

How did you sleep last night? I slept alright.

Do you like candy corn? Never had it.

Are you bored right now? No.

Do your grandparents speak English as a first language? Yes.

Do you remember to turn lights off in the rooms you’re not actively using? Most of the time, but I forget the hallway light when I come down the stairs sometimes.

Do you have many snacks in your house right now? Yeah, I have two bags of chips in my room and a few other things.

Do you keep alcohol in your house? Sometimes.

Did you have a bunk bed when you were a kid? Yes.

tmi/sexual survey

What was your first “adult” experience? Does masturbation count? Cos that xD Otherwise, it was giving a boy a blowjob lol.

What’s the hottest thing you’ve done to someone else? My boyfriend says the hottest thing I let him do is cum inside me! He loves it.

Do you like giving head? If I'm being honest, I really don't like it, mainly cos it's super easy to trigger my gag reflex and then I panic. My boyfriend thankfully isn't too obsessed with it, he says that getting to do anal, cum inside me and do a bunch of other kinky things more than makes up for it.

Would you rather give head or receive it? Receive, but I don't ask my boyfriend to do it much cos I don't want to be selfish. If he's not getting it, neither am I.

Have you ever had a friend with benefits? Yep.

Have you ever fooled around outside? Yes! I've had full on sex outside hahah.

What are you wearing now? Nothing sexy lol - yoga pants and a Mox t-shirt. And ugg boots xD

Where is the craziest place you’ve done it? In a bathroom at a nightclub.

Do you like sexting? Yes! My boyfriend and I do it all the time, it's great when I'm at work and I get a dirty message from him xD

When you’re on top, what’s your favorite position? I like facing the guy, so you can see each other's faces.

Do you like eating ass? It's alright haha.

Would you rather eat ass or have your ass eaten? Have it eaten.

Do you find older people/partners attractive? My boyfriend is 18 years older than me, what do you think? :P

Do you like being naked or are you shy about it? It's fine! I've taken naked pics and stuff.

Have you ever fooled around with more than one person in one day? Yes.

Have you ever done stuff around other people? Oh yeah. Once we went to a get together at one of my boyfriend's friend's places, and everyone crashed there afterwards cos we'd all been drinking. My boyfriend and I had sex with one of his friends right next to us xD I have no idea if he was awake or not though lol.

Do you ever fantasize about an ex or a previous hookup? No.

Have you ever gotten or given car head while driving? I have, but it's dangerous so I prob won't do it again xD

Have you ever had a threesome? If not would you like to someday? Yep. It was me and two guys.

If you could have sex with any porn star, who would you choose? I don't know porn star's names haha.

Do you like getting tied up? How about tying someone else up? I LOVE getting tied up.

Most embarrassing sex thing you’ve confessed to a friend? Haha not sure.

Have you ever been caught fooling around? Yes.

How old were you when you started masturbating? I was super young like 3 or 4 years old from what I remember.

What was your go-to sexual fantasy in high school? I had fetishes right from my teen years, so one of them.

What’s the highest number of sexual positions you tried in one session? (feel free to name a few if you can remember) 4 or 5, probably?

Would you suck on anyone’s toes or let them suck yours? Yeah, sure.

Favorite things to do or have done to you during foreplay? Oh, everything. Nipple play, groping, mutual masturbation, stripping etc.

What is the riskiest text you’ve ever sent? I sent my boyfriend a dirty text when he was at work and it came up on his screen as he was showing a coworker something on it LOL xD Luckily, it was one of his friends and they thought it was funny.

Have you ever hooked up with a friend? Yes.

If you knew there would be no future repercussions, do you think you could ever be a porn star? Haha maybe xD

What’s an instant turn-on for you? Petnames like baby girl or kitten haha.

How old were you when you had for first kiss? 7.

What’s the kinkiest thing a partner has asked you to do? Did you do it? If I said it, I'd probably get banned or get in trouble lol.

What’s the farthest you’ve gone on a first date and did you think that would happen beforehand? Oh, I've had sex on a first date haha.

Would you rather be blindfolded or blindfold someone else? Be blindfolded.

Would you ever have phone sex? Oh yeah sure, my boyfriend went to Wellington for a work thing last year and we talked dirty on the phone while he was there LOL.

What do you think of open relationships? If it's your thing, then you do you, that's cool.

What’s the longest you’ve gone without jerking off? Haha maybe a week xD

Is there a position that you would like to try, but have not done yet? There's a few I'm unable to do cos of my shoulder, so one of those.

Have you ever hooked up with a coworker? No, cos since I've been at my job I've been with my boyfriend haha.

What’s the most memorable sexual experience you’ve had? There's so many to pick from, I can't decide.

Would you lick someone’s armpits or let them lick yours? Sure.

Have you or would you try BDSM? I do, I love it! I love a bit of pain.

How many exes’ numbers are still in your phone? None.

Have you ever caught someone else having sex or masturbating? Maybe, not sure.

Would you say you have a (physical) type or type(s), and if so how would you describe it? I would say no, but then again I think I kinda do cos one of my exes looked a lot like Jon Moxley xD

Have you ever had sex with someone that you weren’t really attracted to? No.

Is there a sexy scene from a movie or porn that you would want to try and recreate? Not that I can think of.

What do you find most attractive in a partner/hook-up? So many things.

Have you ever hooked up with your teacher/professor? No, cos I did university online, and I didn't fancy any of my high school teachers LOL.

Big ass or big dick? Big dick, thanks.

Do you like sending/receiving dirty pictures? Yes, love it!

Do you like to edge? I do yes, but I also have a hard time holding on xD

Have you ever recorded something sexual? Yep.

Do you like being dominated in bed, or do you like taking the lead? I am a major sub haha.

Do you like dirty talk? Yep.

Do you prefer to top or bottom? Bottom.

Do you like your hair pulled? Being spanked? etc. Spanking is amazing, I don't see it as a punishment, I love it haha. And hair pulling is hot too.

Most inappropriate place or time you’ve gotten aroused? At work. Thanks to my boyfriend sending me a dirty text lol, I was on reception too xD

Favorite sexual compliment you’ve ever received? Hmm.

Do you own any toys? I have a Satisfyer vibrator and some anal beads. I think I might buy a new vibrator though cos I think the battery in my current one is dying, I have to charge it way more these days.

What is your favorite position with you on the bottom? Missionary where my boyfriend folds me in half haha.

What’s one public place where you would want to do it? Anywhere where it's easy to get caught, but I don't want to get arrested LMAO.

Biggest kink or fantasy you’re willing to admit? I'm pretty much open to anything.

What is your go-to sexiest pair of underwear or outfit you own? My boyfriend loves it when I wear this super tight black playsuit, it shows off cleavage and legs xD

Does the thought of recording a video or being watched turn you on? Yes!

Do you shave? I get Brazilian waxes, shaving is way too itchy and I miss bits so I let a professional do it for me.

Do you prefer your partner shaved, trimmed, or all natural? My boyfriend is trimmed, but really I don't mind.

Have you ever tried roleplay? If not, would you? Sure, yes. Last year for my boyfriend's birthday I dressed up as a police officer and arrested him HAHAHA.

What kind of outfit or clothing would you like to see a partner in? Hmm, good question. He wants to dress up for me for my birthday, so I guess I need to think of something xD

Have you ever choked someone or been choked during sex? Yes, absolutely love it. My boyfriend knows how to do it properly without hurting my neck.

How often do you watch porn? For my porn needs, I mostly use BDSMLR, but I do watch actual porn too.

Last time you jerked off? Yesterday, lol.

Have you ever done or received a striptease/lap dance? Would you want to? Yep, I've given one and received one before, I went to a strip club YEARS ago for a laugh and my friends dared me to get a lapdance lol. She did a good job!

Would you rather hear or watch a partner pleasure themselves for you? Watch!

What’s one thing you would like more of in bed? My boyfriend does everything I want, and he's always asking me what I want more of.

What kind of porn do you usually watch? I like pretty much everything, but I always skip blowjob scenes lol.

Weirdest sexual experience? Prob the time with an ex where my back gave out on me and it legit locked me into place and I couldn't move, and I was on top LOL. My ex thought he was doing a bad job but my back just wasn't cooperating haha.

[alanshee-keeper-of-realms]

I'm glad you liked it I am a disabled individual myself so Cyrus is very important to me it's how I know how to write the disability aspects I am an ambulatory wheelchair user and I've already had experiences not with being undersold but people just glaring at me or otherwise unfortunately, and I am an artist by trade I write and draw scenes if I'm motivated enough

(From another AU I was working on called The Emperor and Empress of Ice a more historical S11 AU based on Imperial China, this is Pixal as the Empress of Ice in Semi Formal Attire out for a walk. I based her appearance upon actual Chinese historical dramas)

And something you didnt catch because its a blink and you miss it moment that other character Citrine, that is Skylar's mother, I believe she was a Kabuki and one thus kidnapped by Chen. Cyrus to me tried to find her when she went missing, but at the time unfortunately he just didn't have the power or connections to really dig deep and find her.

I have a whole lore section on Cyrus alone a lot of it incorporated into this fanfiction eventually this Pixal would become an original character I have actual art for Violet Borg, shes the First Pixal created on a laptop by a 15 year old Cyrus

Pixal 1.0 aka Violet Borg Art by Me

I have even begun a cosplay of her haha it's definitely very early stages I don't have the makeup or the correct outfit yet but I've cosplayed her

( by the way if you do have a tick tock and want to follow me it's, that_disabled_cosplayer pic of me cosplaying Pixal as the card)

People really haven't shown any interest with the Borg Siblings even though they are actually very important to my writings especially regarding Cyrus. Been posting for a long time and again no interest,

I have a lot of determination but I haven't been able to hit anything unfortunately, I've been doing it for years and I don't know what happened but slowly my numbers dropped until nowadays I only get about 5 to 6 notes and about 90% of them are likes and it doesn't help me at all @kerriloyal thank you by the way for re-blogging my stuff that is how one gets things out there on this site. I see and appreciate you I appreciate everybody who notices my stuff who reblogs and interacts with it.

I post a lot on here and again I don't know what happened but it seems like everybody forgot I'm still here. I've been here since 2014 so I'm not exactly new in fact I'm one of the few veterans running around still on Tumblr because I adamantly refuse to switch over to Twitter like the stubborn hard head I am lmao

As for the Clifford thing as crazy as it is and most likely not going to happen I believe Clifford and Cyrus are half Brothers same mother different father and there is a whole lore story I could go into I have a huge giant web just for Cyrus I could rant about that man all day that I have created over literal years close to a decade I have spent building Cyrus Borgs lore and story and everything after the writers really showed that they're not going to do anything with him other than bring him on occasionally as a minor character.

I do have a AO3 if anyone wants to check it out here

Just please be careful. I do have 18 plus stuff on here please be mindful of the rating and also of the tags but this is where you can find a lot of my writings,

I'm very very happy you enjoyed it and it motivates me to continue on with the second chapter guaranteed I will probably be posting this soon after I polish It Off I'm really really glad you liked it

I just keep trucking away hoping someday my page might spring back to life with something I post like today!

What Could Have Been A Cyrus and Zane AU

This is an au I am working on what if Cyrus and Zane had met when they were both young after all Zane is much older than the rest of the group what if Dr Julian passed before he could wipe Zanes memory leaving Zane on a completely different path to his canonical self

In this world Zane Julian upon discovering his father's passing buried him and realized he needed to now take care of himself so he went out and search for work and wasn't really finding anything until he helped a man deliver arcade cabinets to the local repair shop running into Cyrus Borg who was 20 years of age and just had opened Borg Industries Arcade Repair in the year 1995 before even a majority of the Ninja were born.

He first started out working for Cyrus and then it just developed into more, a relationship between the two developed, a lot of the details will be explained in this AU but just know that Pixane would be really weird in this World after all Zane Julian-Borg is her creator alongside Cyrus Julian-Borg along with her 15 other siblings.

[bamababygirl7]

I'm the "Nonny" in the ask

Very glad you out of your friend group there is on the same page with me

Now the embarrassment falls that I'm in this "Blacklist" of his with the grossest accusation.

The silliest part of is a few of those blogs alongside mine I've actually blocked for said reasons.

Through a lighter lens, now I don't even feel comfortable to be on here if I just feel horny

I mean wow LMAO

Like you said I am not obliged to bear responsibility for any couch potato minors or creeps

🥰💞 I think D probably didn’t pick up on what you were trying to say as he is ADD which he is very open about and I am ADHD so our brains do function differently than other people’s brains. He also just had surgery and is recovering from that and works full-time and runs a Discord server and has other social media as well as a life outside of social media with an amazing fiancé. I don’t think people realize sometimes that tumblr blogger is not our profession and we do have lives outside of tumblr. @dominant-dominion truly is an amazing person and a great friend and when we write posts they do come from a place of caring and wanting to protect people. I completely understand that not everybody goes to the actual blog to read the bio and verify age before liking a post, but we all need to do better. If you see a pic and there is even a slightest question in your mind that the original poster is under 25, my advice is to go to the blog of the OP and if it says that they are a minor or if there is no age listed, then block them so that there is never a chance of interacting with them. People may not realize that even if you have show your likes turned off on your blog, people can still see when you’ve liked a post. And being a little, I have more than likely liked several posts (non-sexual that contained something to do with Disney, Hello Kitty, etc.) that originated from the blog of a minor. I try to check now or else I just won’t reblog the post because I don’t want to like a post that originated from a minor and them see it in their notifications and come to my blog. I am not sure if you are a parent or not, but if not then one day you will understand and be thankful for people such as D and myself that try to pick up the slack of some of the parents who have no clue what is going on or what their child is doing online.

I am a firm believer in everybody deserving a second chance as long as they weren’t intentionally interacting sexually with someone who is a minor. If you just liked pics because they came across your dash, that’s an understandable mistake because we have all liked posts without verifying age. But the ones who know that a girl is 16 and like and comment sexual things on the posts or message the minor are the ones that don’t deserve another chance. I truly hope that you fall into the category of the ones who just liked a post and didn’t know the person was a minor. If that is the case, then just please do better at verifying the age before interacting with a sexual post. You did say that you have blocked people for sexually interacting with minors so if this is true that means that you just made a mistake by liking a post without realizing it was a minor and hopefully will do better in the future. I am giving you the benefit of the doubt and hoping that I am right. If you want to send me an ask off of anon, I wont publish it. I can answer you privately where nobody else can see it and we can discuss things further and I am usually pretty good at getting gut feelings about people so I will be able to better determine your sincerity of not wanting to intentionally interact with minors.

[dog-teeth]

2 weeks post op top surgery update!! pics & details under the cut!

i had my 2nd post op appointment on monday, getting the stitches off of my grafts and medical tape off my incisions. other than my limited mobility and some mood stuff and scar care, im pretty much back to normal! im v happy with how my chest looks, and my doctor said i was looking more healed than average for the 2-week mark :)

physical healing:

having the stitches taken off the nipple graft was a bit uncomfy but just felt like a light tugging and only took a few minutes. having the medical tape taken off hurt a bit bc the adhesive pulled on my skin, but it was super fast and not an intense pain at all.

so i had been instructed to keep my nipples very very hydrated with aquaphor (which is why they look shiny here lol), and not to pick at them or rub them. before my appointment yesterday, the entire grafts looked how the nipple does now, all black and scabbed, but i hadn’t been able to tell that it was just dead skin scabbed over & ready to come off because i had been keeping them so hydrated that they didn’t flake off like normal scabs, i thought it was just my bruised healing skin and that the scabbing process had barely started. then, i went into my appointment, and when my doctor took out the stitches, she swabbed the area lightly, and all of the dead skin came off super easily! i was so surprised! turns out almost all of the scabbing of the areola had already happened, i just didn’t know, because it was so different from normal scabs due to the constant hydration. now all thats left is the nipple, which takes longer to heal because its a thicker part of the graft.

you can see the little indentations on my skin from the gauze pressing down under my compression wrap, which i still wear all day every day, and will continue to do for the next few weeks. there is still a light bruise on one side of my chest and a numb patch on the other, plus a bit of swelling around the incisions, especially near the center of my chest. the bruise actually looks more visible in these pics than it does irl.

current physical care:

i’ve started scar care, which is super exciting! i massage my scars twice a day with healing ointment, keeping them nice n hydrated under a thin layer (but still dry enough that they dont get weird from being wrapped up all the time). i also started using silicone scar cream, which is for healing and fading scars.

i massage the incisions for about 15 minutes per day total, for 5-10 minutes at a time. it feels nice, its pleasing to run my fingers over the incisions, it is a bit tender on the place where there is still swelling and a light bruise. i also (very lightly) rub the outside of my nipple grafts when applying the aquaphor, which is to prevent the buildup of excess scar tissue that would raise my areolas up.

i feel much more confident about my healing after having the tape taken off my incisions and the scab tissue wiped off my nipple grafts. i spent the entire past 2 weeks worrying about my nipples falling off, and now i know that won’t happen lmao. im very excited about scar care, being able to massage the incisions and confidently touch my nipples is great. i’m looking forward to my nipples scab tissue flaking off, and for the dissolvable sutures under my incisions to dissolve completely, because i can feel them under my scars which is weird!

concerns going forward:

-spitting sutures, which is when a dissolvable suture gets agitated or rejected by your body and has to be removed, but it’s an easy fix if it does happen, i just have to go into my surgeons office and have them take it out.

-scar care! keeping my nipples hydrated, massaging my scars and the rims of my grafts, keeping everything wrapped under my ace bandage compression with gauze pads over the nipples.

-limited mobility and not carrying stuff- now that i’m pretty healed its hard to make myself not do normal things like reach my arms out, stretch, and lift things up, but i really shouldnt do it even if it doesn’t hurt.

-compression, i still wear my ace bandage wrap and will for at least 2 more weeks, which sucks, i can’t wait to be done with it! but im also glad it’s there because it makes my chest feel protected, i’m still very very cautious and weird about my giant wounds and still-healing nipples.

mood:

overall, i’m very happy with how it looks and how it’s healing. im very relieved to be past these first few weeks when everything is at its most difficult. i’ve been really really stressed out about it this whole time, worrying about my nipple grafts failing or not healing right, having full on anxiety attacks when i accidentally stretch my arms out too far or put too much weight on them, and being terribly afraid that my chest won’t look good aesthetically.

i’ve also been depressed lately, idk if it’s post-surgery depression or my normal depression or my seasonal depression. i was in very good spirits the first week, but i’ve been having low moods and low energy more recently :( i think once i’m able to drive and exercise again i’ll be much happier, but for now being trapped inside all day in my room has been rough.

recovery has been physically grueling and mentally very weird, because i literally did not believe it would actually happen until it had actually happened (seriously i was at the hospital getting prepped to be taken into the OR and i still didn’t think it would happen), and i didn’t believe it would be okay until my 2nd post op on monday when i saw how healed my grafts and incisions were. so really, i’m just now getting to experience the relief that i finally got surgery!!!! the more healed i get the more i enjoy it, which i’m sure will continue for the next months and probably years.

[lebritneeey]

Second Chance (3/??)

inspired by don’t wanna cry, lie again and second life & a little idea from reply 1997 and 1988.

genre: romance. fluff, angst, love rivals etc lmao

pairing: y/n x ??? (svt)

a/n: hi guys! so my imagination started running after listening to dwc, lie again and second life on repeat lmao. i’ve always love reading angsty fics and so i came up with this series based on these three songs! disclaimer!! if there’s any similarity with other fics, it is coincidental, everything written here is based on my idea! no to plagiarism!! also, pics and gifs here are NOT mine! hope you guys enjoy this series i might be posting this on aff too so don’t be alarm if you come across it on aff! enjoy!

SERIES MASTERLIST

What if you could get a second chance at love? What if it was the wrong time but the right person all along? Would you take it? This second chance? 

Meet y/n, a 25 year old girl who had to revisit the city she once loved, Seoul. It was a city filled with both good and bad memories for her. When she left, she swore never to return. But here she is, back in Seoul, hoping to not run into a certain old flame that might reopen old wounds and remind her of how broken hearted she was back then.

chapter 2 | chapter 3 | chapter 4

chapter 3: she’s back?

nov 2020, seoul, 1:39pm (KST)

Y/n’s eyes widened as she froze. Choyi and Hana gasped as they stared at the three familiar faces in front of them. 

Seventeen Dino, Mingyu and Jeonghan were picking up their coffee orders for the rest of the group. 

“Oh! Noona!” Dino and Mingyu chimed as they greeted her excitedly. They turned to Hana and Choyi, waving at them as well. 

Jeonghan’s eyes was fixated on Y/n, his gaze turning soft. 

“Hi, Y/n.. long time no see.” 

////

The members sat down with the girls as they waited for their orders. Jeonghan took a seat opposite Y/n who anxiously drank her coffee while silence filled the air. 

“..long time no see noonas!” Dino broke the silence. Mingyu joined in, “yeah, it’s been a few years!” Hana broke into a smile, nodding. “Yes, it’s been a while.. Heard Seventeen has been getting first place recently! Congratulations!” Choyi agreed, “This year is really you guys’ year! Congrats!” 

While the four of them chatted away, Jeonghan constantly fixed his gaze onto Y/n. He gently asked, “how have you been?” Y/n looked up from her drink as she forced a smile. “I’m.. good. You?” 

Jeonghan chuckled, “well you know, busy as always. We’re preparing for our upcoming tour.” Y/n nodded, taking a sip of her drink again. 

“You still looked the same from the last time I saw you. Beautiful always.” Y/n blinked in surprise, cheeks turning slightly red at the statement. She said nothing and continued looking at her coffee. Silence filled the air once more. 

////

“Ah, lunch time is over, we gotta go now.” Hana said as the girls stood up to leave. “Aw, that’s sad. But we had fun catching up noona!” Dino chirped as he waved them goodbye with Mingyu beside him doing the same. Just as Y/n was about to follow them out, Jeonghan gently grabbed her wrist. “Y/n!” She turned and stared at him, brows raising. 

He let go and rubbed his neck awkwardly. “Um.. how long are you going to be in Korea for? We should all catch up soon, the rest of the guys missed you and they would be delighted to see you again.” 

Y/n pursed her lips together, hesitating. “If I’m free.” She gave the three guys a small smile before leaving the cafe. 

Jeonghan sighed as he watched her leave. Damn it, I never thought I would miss her this much. 

////

“Hyung.. should we tell the rest that we saw y/n again?” Dino asked in their van. The three were on the way back to the company with their coffee orders in their hands. 

“I don’t know.. We need to prepare for the tour soon, y/n’s return might affect some of them.” Jeonghan rubbed his face, feeling a tad stressed. 

“I think we should tell them. What if they bumped into y/n on the streets again like today?” Mingyu chipped in. “Aigoo hyung, Seoul isn’t that small you know.” Dino shooked his head as he replied Mingyu who pouted and continued texting on his phone. 

Jeonghan stared outside the window as he sighed once more. If fate allows it, then we will all meet again. He thought as the car ride continued in silence all the way back to the company. 

////

Flashback to march 2017, 3:53pm, PLEDIS building

Choyi, Hana and Y/n looked around in awe as they walked around the building of PLEDIS Entertainment, home to Seventeen, NU’EST and After School. Hana’s boyfriend had invited the girls over for lunch as he’s busy helping SVT prepare for their album comeback.

“Never in my life would I expect myself to be in freaking PLEDIS building where it’s the home to Seventeen!!!!!” Choyi whispered excitedly as she did a little dance while they were finding the practice room that Joohyeon was in. “Please calm down Choyi or else we’re gonna get kicked out for disturbance!” Hana shooked her head, Y/n chuckled as she follow the pair behind.

“Room 3.. room 3.. ah here it is,” Hana pointed at the practice room they found. The girls peeked through the windows.

Seventeen members were in formation while Joohyeon was in front showing them what seemed to be a choreography for their next title song. “Can’t believe I’m getting the very first look at the upcoming comeback dance..” Choyi sighed with pleasure as she fixated her eyes through the window panels.

“Okay, let’s take ten boys!” Joohyeon announced as he spotted Choyi’s face planted against the window. He walked over to the door and welcomed the girls. “Hi oppa” Hana gave him a hug while Y/n and Choyi waved at the members.

“Oh, hello, nice to see you all again!” Dokyeom waved as the rest of the members followed suit while they grabbed some towels and water bottles.

“Sorry to disturb but we brought some lunch for all of you!” Hana announced as Joohyeon took the bags she was carrying. “YES WE HAVE FREE FOOOOOD” Dino and Hosni jumped up and down pumping their fists with excitement. Y/n beamed, feeling a little surprised by their energy even after what seemed like hours of dance practice.

Jun ran up to Y/n after seeing her with two big bags of lunchboxes, “here let me help you with that!” Y/n gave him an appreciative smile and thanked him. “We didn’t speak much backstage that day but nice to meet you, I’m Jun! Are you a Korean by the way?”

Y/n shooked her head, “I’m from Singapore.” Jun nodded, mouth forming an ‘o’. “Wow but your Korean is good! Wait.. so does this mean you can speak chinese?”

“Yup, 我可以说中文 (I can speak chinese)“ Jun got even more excited and started conversing in chinese with Y/n as they sat down on the floor with the others as they took out the lunchboxes.

“Are.. those two speaking in Chinese?” Seungcheol asked The8 as he glanced at the pair. The8 looked over and nodded, “Y/n’s from Singapore I think so she’s able to speak chinese if I’m not wrong”

Seungcheol tilted his head as he watched Y/n laughing at something Jun was saying. Wonder what they’re talking about that is so funny.. He pouted slightly as he started eating.

“Yah Jihoon ah, where’s your Polaroid camera! This calls for some fun picture taking!” Jeonghan asked. Woozi walked over to his bag and took out the camera. Y/n noticed the Polaroid model, “oh is that the latest model?” Woozi turned to her and nodded. Y/n stood up and walked over looking at it. “Can I see it? I’ve been saving up for one cause my previous polaroid broke!” Woozi handed his camera over with a small smile.

Y/n clapped her hands enthusiastically as she gently held the camera. “Can I test it out?” Woozi chuckled as he gave her the go ahead. What Y/n did next was unexpected to the boy — she pointed the camera in front of him and snapped a pic, “say cheese!” Woozi stared blankly at the camera with surprised as he frozed. Did she just.. took a picture of me? Suddenly?

When the polaroid picture started developing, Y/n giggled as she showed Woozi. “What’s with the blank look!” Woozi stared at Y/n, feeling captivated by her adorable action. He blushed as he rubbed his neck sheepishly, “I was just surprised that’s all..” Y/n grinned as she return the camera to him. “I think I’ll get this model, thank you Jihoon!” Woozi blushed even more as she calls him by his actual name.

“Hyung, I can help us take a few pics!” Mingyu walked over, taking the camera from the flustered boy. “Woah, why are your ears so red?” Woozi shooked his head and passed the camera to Mingyu before returning to his food, “nothing, here ya go. Don’t drop it or else I’ll come after you.”

Mingyu sighed as he went around taking pictures of the entire gang. “Say kimchi everyone!!!!”

///

Nov 2020, choyi’s apartment, 4:19pm (KST)

Y/n dropped her bag onto the sofa as she plopped on it. Choyi walked to the fridge to get a bottle of soju. Y/n looked on quizzedly, “isn’t it a bit too early for alcohol?”

Choyi took two soju glasses and sat on the sofa beside Y/n. “it’s for you.” Y/n raised an eyebrow, looking at the soju, “for what?”

“In case you wanna talk about what happened out there just now?” Choyi poured the soju into the glasses and handed one to Y/n, who took it begrudgingly. “There’s no need for any talk Cho.”

“It’s been what.. two years? I just thought seeing them might you know, sparked some past memories again” Choyi shrugs as she downs her glass. “I’m okay. It’s in the past and I’ve moved on. Really, I’m fine Cho” Y/n gave a tight smile as she refilled her glass.

“Besides, I won’t be staying in Korea for long anyway. I’m just here for work and work only, after which I’m gonna head home.” Y/n took a shot of soju as she let the bitterness taste linger around her throat hoping she would let it distract her from the heavy feeling around her chest.

“... Do you still have his number saved?” Y/n blinked a few times at Choyi’s question. She would be lying if she say she has already deleted them. The truth is, she still has it. After all these years, she still has it saved onto her phone, she just couldn’t bear to delete it. All she did was renamed it to “Ignore” just in case he calls again, but he never did.

“… nope I deleted it the day I left.” Silence filled the air as Y/n took another shot of her drink.

“You know.. the guys were shocked and sad when they heard you left without saying goodbye” Choyi added as she refilled their glasses.

“I heard.. that he was upset too” Choyi continued a she took a shot.

Y/n paused as she reached for her glass. He was upset? What right did he have to be upset?

[songofsaraneth]

Another very busy but very fun couple weeks over here!!!! what a change of pace from the every-day-the-same-blur the last couple months have been.

My parents birthdays are in late June/early July so I went back to Chicago to visit for those + the 4th. It’s been well over a year since I was last at my childhood home and I always miss the lake I grew up on sooooo much. Got to have a nice time kayaking around (pic 1) and enjoying the water lillies and frogs :)))) Also visited my extended family in rural western IL, my uncle is one of the 3 people that make up the towns entire historical preservation society, and they just finished moving/restoring a cute cabin and some equipment from when the area was first settled, which was neat (pic 2). 

On the 3rd I went downtown to hang out with my childhood bffs + partners + my friend’s daughter on a beach on Lake Michigan (pic 3), and its the frist time i’ve been around so many people since 2020 and i’m definitely both rusty on the social skills as well as still feeling weirded out by groups now. It was a really hot day with cold water and good company and food though so while a shock to be back in such a weirdly “normal” setting I did still have a good time. And saw a couple of them again on the 4th at my house, and the neighbors across the lake set off a surprisingly good firework show (pic 4).

I also got to go visit @onionjuggler and her pups (pic 5 & 6 and oops forgot to take any of us together lmao)!!!!!! While this is not actually the first time we have met as we overlapped at the same college (and were both in the campus circus group no less), we reconnected on tumblr last summer bonding over Dragon Age & Mass Effect obsessions and it was soooooo nice to get to hang out irl as a follow up :))))) 

Anyway I spent less than a week back in New Mexico frantically catching up on working + prepping for my following trip this past weekend. Also got to do some baking for a labmate’s post-thesis-defense party, it’s the first time I’ve been able to bake for other people in???? SO long and I missed it. Made doughnut muffins (not pictured) which are delicious but not photogenic and then mini fruit tartlets (pic 7) which taste good and are also very visually show-off-y. Happy to say they were a hit!

Anyway then friday night I drove over to AZ where a photographer couple I’ve worked with a few times before/kept in touch with just moved a few months ago (all the way from New Hampshire). Their new house has a pool so we arranged to do both some figure-on-landscape and figure photography plus also some underwater work! It’s been since last March since my last modeling gig and FOREVER since I’ve gotten to do any mermaid portraits, so it was very exciting to be able to get back to both. Spent the weekend running around jumping on rocks in improbable places with full face makeup + giant lashes lmao (pic 8) and on very little sleep since we were doing sunrise shots as well. I style/advertise myself as an “adventure model” able to get to trickier locations and do harder shoots than the average model, and Jay (the photographer) has done several with me before, so we also went to a location he knew he’d probably not be able to get another model able to reach as it involved an uphill 5 mile technical mountain bike ride followed by a mile of hiking while carrying our giant backpacking bags of camera equipment + outfit/makeup changes + 3 liters of water, all in 95º weather in midday desert sun lmao. The shots turned out SO good though, and I even got to jump in an ephemeral waterfall pool for a bunch of them, and then the mountain bike ride back down was SO fun, though I still had to walk a few bits since no way was I doing some of those technical rocky corners while in a 25lb pack. Bikes & some gear featured in pic 9 :D

Pic 10 is the view from one of the locations we shot at! Involved a technical scramble up the back of a boulder, but looked like a totally sheer face from the front--it’s gonna be super impressive in the final pics. I was wearing a dress made from an old repurposed parashute, so the skirt hangs way down over the rocks and will billow if there’s any breeze, which we did have a bit of. You can see the giant adventure van we roamed around in under a tree in the foreground. I’m really glad I was able to go out and get those because I actually woke up with a migraine saturday night and my rescue meds give me super weird dreams/make me fairly woozy, but luckily the migraine was a fairly small one by my standards and the meds had worn off enough that I could do the climbing stuff safely. But it did mean I only got like 3 hours of sleep after only 2 hours of sleep on friday so I was fairly exhausted. greem.jpg.

And the underwater stuff in the afternoon went really well to!!!! It’s soooo hard to tell if anythings turning out in the moment since you can’t really see on the viewfinder if things are working, but we got some AMAZING stuff I’m super excited to share once he finishes editing. 

Drove home last night (sunday) however there was a HUGE monsoon stormfront. I’m glad becuase we need the rain desperately but for like an hour I had periods of almost no visibility (doing 40mph in a 75 zone with hazards on) and there was up to 2 inches of water on the road surface. So I stopped in a rest stop to nap for 2 hours until it cleared up. But I also hate naps and then slept weird once I got home at 3:30am so now I’m in a weird exhausted haze but also still kinda wired rip. But! Fun times and very much looking forward to a nice hot shower now that I’ve eaten and had an hour to just sit and breathe.

[ressjeon]

✉: check in tag ♡

— tagged by: these beautiful people: @jiminza, @taegularities, @xiaokoo, @kookdiaries, @ddaechwita, @jinned, @minsugallery & @chemicalpink 💕 a week ago im sowwy T.T

1. why did you choose your URL?

everyone's been confused what it actually means so here we go XD. initially, i was damn confused on coming up with one cause i want it to be unique? me and @mignonnex were brainstorming about names 😭 and i was thinking of something about powerful women, so queen or empress + the name of my bias, Jungkook. i was gonna go with queenjeon (someone came up with it already) and empressjeon (too long) so in the end it’s just “ressjeon”, easy to say and kind of unique ig 😂

2. any sideblogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them?

yes, i do have one and its @yanniereads! i've been reading way before I started writing and I usually give long ass reviews so I wanted a separate blog where I can do all of those and just focus on writing on this one 💕

3. how long have you’ve been on tumblr?

As a reader, I’ve been here around late 2016 I think because of BTS fanfics XD. I don’t actually remember how I started on this app, i knew this app existed but i never bothered to venture into it until I started reading fanfics and it just happened? though I only started writing in 2019 and posting this year o.o

4. do you have a queue tag?

uh I just realized that I don’t have one but I recently just started queueing things so 🤡

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

for my multi one, mainly to read, give feedback and interact with people in the fandom here and for this one is to write and gush only for BTS hehe. Also, I never expected myself to start writing since I was just contented as a reader but then a dream happened (my dreams are always vivid) + and a fmv haunting me for weeks so the moment i woke up, i grabbed my laptop and was writing for the whole day and the rest is history.

6. why did you choose your icon?

uh I saw this on Twitter and was shook at how well edited it is and it’s VERY S E X Y so why not? ;)

7. why did you choose your header?

I actually didn’t make this header rip, I legit just got this on Google but I'm gonna try to make my own to match my whole blog aesthetic? (do I even have one lmao)

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

I don’t get a lot of notes in general but I would say the masterpost of my current series posted here (there will be more series soon so wink wink)

9. how many mutuals do you have?

uh i actually need to write them down because Tumblr usually makes us unfollow each other 🤡 but its less than a hundred

10. how many followers do you have?

I have a decent one that I'm content with and I'm grateful for each one of them.

11. how many people do you follow?

uh less than 200 for sure 🤡

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

idk if I any of my post is considered as one but intentionally, I don’t think I did

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

though I only alternate between posting pics & written posts, I'm actually active the whole day everyday but I just don’t post so ring me whenever 🤡

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

no, HAHAHAH cuz I fight somewhere else (I don’t hold back there) and im trying to avoid it on this platform because too much has happened here already ♡

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

I mean I always reblog important stuff that clearly matters but other than that i just try to reblog as much as i can.

16. do you like tag games?

yes ofc though im always late T.T

17. do you like ask games?

yes again though i barely get asks :(

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

i know people would always say that it doesn't exist or that it doesn't matter but there are actual people here who are deemed as "tumblr famous" by the community, i have a few mutuals who are and they deserved it ♡

19. do i have a crush on a mutual?

i am recently in a harem now after being married to @erotikkook so 🤡

Tagging: @yoonia @yminie @blue-sidez @zibermuda @sketchguk @kithtaehyung @xjoonchildx @nomseok @jungkxook @clouditae @wishesunderthestars @jungkooksbroski @chateautae @agustdakasuga @dulcetvk @sugasbabiie @hisunshiine @venusiangguk @btssavedmylifeblr @bangtantaegi @ppersonna @lemonjoonah @dreamescapeswriting @avveh

y'all probably did this already...😅

[starxscream]

1, 7, 10 for OCs!

1. Oldest OC

Scratches chin. Hm. Well there's a difference between Oldest OC still in use and Oldest OC in General

Tho actually wait I forgot I brought back Ven who fulfills both of these so NVM LOL it's Ven. Yea.

I made him like. a decade ago LMAO he used to be cis and straight and now I trans'd his gender like HE DESERVED. Lmao he's where my love for GNC men stemmed from as a kid esp the bastard kind bc that's what he is <3 little smartass.

He's a furret originally and in this pic but I'll likely be giving him a redesign to use him in Mirakae as well! His pkmn vers is just in a cool RP group I'm in w/some pals GKHNGKH

He's very sentimental to me bc he's what got me into character creation and world-building even if I didn't do anything w/his original world bc I just didn't have the tools or experience to do it back then. The og fav <3

As a fun fact! My first name I picked for myself was based on his! Tho a more "feminine" version bc I was still convinced I wasn't trans- I wanted HIS name but I was like "but I'm a girl..." so... I called it an online name but let's be honest that was baby's first transgender egg moment lol

Kind of ironic the name I use the most NOW is one letter away from his, I think it's kinda a full circle moment :) It makes me happy haha esp now that I have the capabilities and knowledge so that I can portray Ven how I want him to be and how he was always meant to be, similar to my own gender presentation.

7. Do you ship your OCs w/someone else's?

LMAO YEA IF U COULDN'T GUESS BY THE AMOUNT OF SHIP ART THAT GETS DRAWN OF THEM- but yea I mostly ship with my boyfriend! 9/10 if you point out an OC they're shipped w/one of his

There's a few outliers like Ciro, my RP group characters, the MLP ocs I post, and Opal/Saffron BUT FOR THE MOST PART I usually ship with him! We have a lot of fun with it :]

10. Villain OCs?

Oh boy we got PLENTY 'a those. But it really depends on what you'd call a "villain" bc I tend to redeem most of my antagonists and "villains" bc I'm a sucker for Tropes. GKHNGKHNGH BUT AS FOR LIKE. PURE IRREDEEMABLE VILLAIN I DO HAVE SOME. Actor is there but I talked abt Actor already

SO INSTEAD WE HAVE...

Jam and Kazi! I have so many cat ocs. I know. You get used to it.

Jam is a back-alley doctor who presents herself has a helpful sort and willing to do shit usually for free/cheap as long as you agree to her terms. Tho like, 90% of the time she's testing smth experimental she created and most likely ur gonna walk away worse than when u came in. She doesn't rly have any remorse for this cuz she's obsessed with the studies of medicine- she wants to create the perfect medicine and is willing to do anything to reach that goal !

Plus she's kind of an ass and does things on a whim and literally broke up with her bf who treated her SO WELL bc she was bored of him. she was only with him for an extended period bc he was interesting and she was essentially studying him but once that was exhausted she just dipped. He deserves better </3

Aaaand then there's Kazi.

Kazi is. Well he sure is. GKHNGKHKGNHG

I won't go in depth into what he does but he's a serial killer who masks as a famous artist who travels around. I'm not gonna get into it but if you've played "The Evil Within" his M/O is eerily similar to Stefano LOL So you can Imagine how fucked up this guy is.

Very Morbid but a very good artist. In both respects. Tho one takes a "certain kind" to appreciate and sure isn't the majority. Do not condone murder here but making villains is fun GKNHGKHGH my whole thing with him is like, the person next to u could b a killer and you'd never know bc he presents himself in such a way that's very misleading! He's actually quite soft-spoken, kind, and generous but. Well.

I'm not gonna get into him cuz his mentality is very warped and could b triggering but yea. He's one of my favorites I'm sorry I'm s

(Art by Rob but design is sexily done by me ages ago)

[bruised-pixels]

because i can never keep gameplay to myself even if im just playing casually o(TﾍTo)

Coming soon: posts from the rotations of my megahood so I can stop spamming discords... (jk i still will but it will be more limited now lmao) The hood consists of Pleasantview, Strangetown, Veronaville, Bluewater, and Desiderata Valley with a Downtown as well as all the University subhoods! I know, kind of same ol’ schitch of playing premades but this is my first real time doing a megahood and I threw in Desiderata because it was probably my least played hood back in the day so thought I’d give myself a reason too. The rotations last ~5 in game days, aka ‘til the season flips over. In that time I will document what happens! 

However as this is more recent I did not actually document the first two families I played and just my general start up stuff so I’ll catch you up under the cut if you’re interested!

So basically a lot of the premades I played through some of the scripted events. This means some like the Beakers or the Grunts got played for the first few in game hours to get them started or just give them ~*makeovers*~ while others like the Broke or Curious I played with a bit more as they have more in depth stuff like the whole giving birth thing. So basically, consider the scripted events canon to this universe unless otherwise stated.

Pretty much the only thing to add here is that I did take the suggestion from Olive’s wants to “invite Buzz over” as she wants to merc him. So she did c: and Buzz is dead by flies by the time I got to starting the Grunts gameplay.

The first family I played was the Goths. I flipped a coin to decided if I would actually have Don and Cassie get married or not and it landed on marriage! After Dina proposed and got married to Mort and they decided to take Alex too, Cassie and Don had the Goth manor all to themselves. Cassandra rolled the want to have a baby and well, Don was just happy to... ya know. Three days later they ended up having two baby boys! Lucky Don, eh? I named them Emmett and Jasper and by the time they aged up to tots, their playtime was up!

Second I played was the Grunts. After their father’s unforseen death, Tank was now up to be the head of the household. Ripp very much resented this and the two got in arguements a lot. Their relationship is still not well. Tank aged up soon after and got into the military career, really trying to impress his father even after death. Buck aged up to a teen and has been doing well in school, and is probably the only thing preventing the brothers from tearing each other apart. He’s a Family/Popularity aspiration and loves art and has moved on from wanting to style pets to styling humans! Ripp also has gotten into music, often listening to the metal station well into the night. He was the last to age up and he did age up badly as he still hasn't found anyone he wants to be with, leaving a lot of his romance wants unfulfilled. But that’s where I left gameplay for the Grunts!

That’s pretty much all for the one’s I did not take pics of to document! We’ll start off actual posts sometime later with the Oldie/Pleasant household, Mary-Sue Oldie and Lilith Pleasant.

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

y’know the wildest thing still to happen to me on this hellsite was my first experience of sexting, sans nudes, that was done in front of at least 250-500 followers because of those horny anons i had in early 2013 when i was 17. instead of being exposed to it on my phone privately with a partner at that age, it was done publicly for the internet to see lmao. i remember begging the anons to stop and “come off anon” because i was “losing followers” at the time too bc i was so insecure about my follower count lmao. and then yeah when they came off anon they were both 28 years old.

to write the responses, i just consulted cosmo mag sex pages for ideas hoping that the anons would like the options i chose. in one i detailed doing anal- a sex act i hadn’t even done yet irl- let alone every other thing i suggested in them (head, idek long, drawn out foreplay, some stupid fancy sex moves that cosmo was all like “use these moves to spice up your sex life 🔥🔥”, sex in a bath, i’m pretty sure i had some lines about tying or handcuffing them to a bed (????) etc etc etc)….

when again, i had never even done any of those above sex acts in real life. i was a naive teen who was incredibly shy in regards towards her love life because she’d “never been kissed” and had never had the “hot emo boyfriend whose in a band and is covered in tattoos” she’d always wanted, let alone even a boyfriend that she had actually fucking liked (ie clear braces boy, for like a month in year 9/2010 vs the popular boys that made fun of her, that she always had unrequited crushes on)…. hell, my blog title when i first started on here in 2011 was “the perfect epitome of being forever alone” because of these very reasons. but here she was, writing explicit sex acts to strangers like she knew what the fuck she was doing, to an audience of 250-500 people- and then to fucking grown ass men in inboxes. i was just parroting the shit i’d read in cosmo (both sex advice and sometimes excerpts of erotica/“sexy, steamy reads” they had some months) and also heard repeatedly in the porn that my high school stalker/creeper at public school loved to show (harass) me with to flirt with me, whenever we were alone together at school in 2012/2013.

like you could tell how naive i was….. because i used ridiculous lines like “like a gentleman entranced, you lead me to the bath for our next foray” and dumbass prose-y things like that. because what the fuck does that even mean 😂😅????

and this is why i think minors should be careful with their online experiences. like yeah, you could say that i wasn’t a minor anymore- more of a “young adult”- who should of made the smart decision to not engage with these anons. but i was a kid. i thought it was fun. and when the dudes came off anon, i thought to myself “it’s not like i’m ever gonna meet them if i ever go to the US or puerto rico at any point. it’s not like that they’ll ever recognise me in person or ever reach out to me again in the future. i might as well do it.” and i did eventually end up ignoring the guys in my inbox, due to my mental health kinda plummeting from the middle til the end of 2013 because of my end of high school exams and stuff… and also the puerto rican guy’s infamously inappropriate “hot PE teacher fucks HOT female high school student in the girls change room showers” fantasy which fucking disgusted me, when he full well knew that i was STILL IN high school.

and obviously again, there’s the point about using the “block” button function. but as i’ve stated several times over my years on here, back in my early days of tumblr, i never wanted to block or unfollow people (even if they were trash like these two men), because it seemed so “mean” and “final”. obvs now i have no qualms about blocking people, and actively encourage younger people on here to use the block button with reckless abandon towards creepy people or people who can hurt them in some way. but to high school teenage me, the whole “using the block button” thing seemed to go against me being a “nice girl/person” so i never used it, no matter which social media platform i was on.

this is why i’m hella scared for young teen girls on tik tok wanting to have onlyfans accounts: because it’s where they’ll be exposed to ACTUAL CREEPS AND PREDATORS incredibly quickly; all because they can make money off selling images of just their feet or eventually their body….. depending on what these creepy strangers demand from them….. and they’ll feel like they’ll have to do it…. but to do it before you even start experimenting properly with relationships and sex is even worse. like. yeah. i’ve admitted before that i originally started this tumblr to possibly post nudes, to see if i’d get the positive feedback that i so desperately wanted/craved from the boys in my year at catholic school- eg. to be called “sexy”, “hot”, “fuckable” possibly “beautiful”- like some of the so called “popular girls” got on their hella basic bikini photos back then (like i remember one girl i knew ended up with like 500 likes and a fair amount of comments on one of her bikini pics and i was INCREDIBLY BITTER because not even a pic of me with a nice outfit on, my hair done and makeup on could EVER get those numbers, let alone even break over the double digits).

but i decided posting nudes or other explicit images on here was an absolute no go, because i realised that i never wanted people that i knew digging up barely clothed/naked pics of me and sending them to me all like “hey, is this you?” and then possibly mocking me, all because i would’ve been dumb enough to put my face in them probably at the time. now when i take nudes and send them, i never show my face. because i know now, that even in relationships, your partner can use nude pics as leverage for arguments or to abuse you in such a way that they’ll upload your pics without your knowledge to god knows where on the internet probably as a way to get back at you in a horrible breakup.

this is what i sincerely hope some young girls who ever contemplate starting onlyfans accounts take some time SERIOUSLY CONSIDER. please know that if you share shit on onlyfans, it can shared and re-shared (i think idek how OF works tbh) to god knows who- and eventually end up in the hands of people you know. i don’t fucking care if it’s a “good way to make money!” or if people think that im trying to stop teen girls from being “girl bosses” and the other dumb as fuck internet memes you want to throw at me. because this shit isn’t “haha internet meme funny” material. it’s some fucking serious stuff. and also, i’m not saying “don’t become a sex worker when you’re older” or whatever either. you’re free to make that choice when you’re in your 20s (no i even mean 17-19 year olds in this post as “young teen girls”- sorry you’re basically kids to me at almost 26). just please consider where the fuck your stuff can be shared to. who it can end up being shared with or to.

this is why i was so fucking adamant with my infamous old follower mr adelaide fuckboy/MAF that i personally would NOT consider becoming a camgirl for him or just generally… because i had no idea where the fuck my images or videos would end up. and do you know the places i’d never want them to fucking be??? in the hands of my high school stalker/creeper. in the hands of those two 28yo men from 2013 (who’d now be in there late 30s or early 40s). i absolutely don’t want them in the hands the mid-to-late 20s and early 30s men that that girl i met at public school in 2012 who was pissed that i didn’t believe that were “adults” because we were finally over the legal age of consent (16) in our state of australia, and so we were apparently fine to “fuck” literal grown ass men because “just fuck them and they’ll be nice to you!!” which i knew was fucking bullshit.

i absolutely don’t fucking want explicit videos/images of me ending up in “why the fuck won’t you let me give you “sex lessons” in the back of my car as a “favour” and as payment for teaching you how to drive you stupid, stuck up & frigid, virgin bitch!?” guy’s hands from 2014 (when i was 18/19 at the time and he was 25… he ended up being the first person of many i’d EVER block on social media lol). or i don't want them in the hands of those weird early 20s dudes (one of which was trying to set me up with his friend) who hit on me at 16/17 (2012) who were angry that i didn’t like and watch porn as much as they did…. and who promptly asked me at the end of their period of harassing of me: “do you know any sluts we could add?” because i kept refusing their suggestions etc.

hell, quite frankly i don’t even want them to go to mr adelaide fuckboy/MAF either, but the very few and far between nudes that i sent on snapchat to him back in 2016 are some nudes that i’d rather forget lmao. hell. i don’t even know if MAF ever deleted my nudes or shared them somewhere else or not, after he fucking wheedled them out of me with “i’ve followed you for 4 years, don’t be a shit! you owe me nudes!” so he’d just shut the fuck up about my social life decisions and leave me the fuck alone.

i don’t want ANY ONE of the guys i mentioned above to get their hands on photos of minors either…. because i definitely know my hs stalker/creeper would… because his fave “make her jealous” tactic that he’s always used on me is that “hey…. i’m dating a *insert teenage girl’s age here*! be fucking jealous that you don’t fucking have me and feel guilty that you won’t fuck me like this girl does!!!” just like he did in 2015, when i ran into him on the home from uni… when i turned 20 the next week and he turned 20 that december. at that time it was a 14yo girl he used as an example of him “dating”/“fucking” to make me jealous. instead, i was completely and utterly fucking disgusted. like any fucking sane and normal human being would/should be at that horrible age gap. that is literally a fucking child that he was fucking grooming. and we were literal adults. back the fuck away.

just please. PLEASE CONSIDER the types of people that trawl these kinds of sites and their intentions. please consider that you are young. very fucking young. you literally DO NOT need to upload nudes to the internet because it’s apparently a “lucrative” business. fuck the jokey “boss babe” rhetoric around it all the way to fucking hell.

because if you’re a minor: i do not want you to have your first experience of sexting or sending explicit images literally in front of god knows how many total strangers for the whole world to see (okay i know only fans is like subscriber/follower based or whatever. but i don’t care)…… even when you (depending how good you are with relationships etc) haven’t reached the common supposed milestones of your “first boyfriend/girlfriend/partner” or “first kiss” or have even “lost your virginity” (which isn’t real anyway- don’t buy this fucking bullshit)…. just like i stupidly did with my exposure to sexting here on my tumblr back in 2013. these people don’t/won’t give a flying fuck about your privacy or safety. they don’t/won’t give a fuck about your boundaries either.

please don’t possibly scar yourself for life, just because you’re being told that it’s a quick & convenient way to make some money for weirdos on the depths of the internet. you will regret it in future. just like i do now with mine. it should’ve been something personal between me and and a guy i trusted and liked at the time. not to some random 250-500 random strangers on this hellsite (okay the notes on these posts were literally single digits or non-existent, but still… and also some of my irl friends who had tumblr saw these posts as well) for a show….. and then privately with two 28yo literal grown ass men…. who should’ve been fucking hitting on women their own goddamned age and in their own countries and NOT a 17yo high school KID (at the time) from australia; who, now in her 20s, needs therapy to sort this shit out lmao. mind you they both reeled me in with the “you’re so mature for your age” bullshit line…. which i fell for a little bit, even if it did make me feel kinda gross at the time, too. don’t fall for that bullshit either.

[luvdsc]

hi miss cat!!! i was wondering if you had any advice on asking mutuals to beta-read + making friendships here on tumblr? you and your mutuals always seem so close and like irl friends! i'm so sorry if this sounds out of the blue!

hi, honey bee!!! 💛 for asking mutuals to beta read, I just asked them shdjdjd I was like “hey do you wanna read my fic draft” and they were like “hell yeah” so then I just added them to my google doc! tk god (hyoseobie / eggyukhei) actually offered to read my drafts when I was having trouble and she gave me suggestions and whatnot, so she’s my go to for beta reading :’) I will throw every single ridiculous fic idea at her and she responds with 100% energy every time. the dumbing down of love and sweeter than honey wouldn’t have been completed without her !!!! for pussy blocked and august, I believe steph (aqiaquas), ti (m88n), lana (choerrypuffs), moon (wincore), and tk all had access to them. Except !!!! when I was debating on the ending for pussy blocked (aka jeno or jaemin), none of them knew who was endgame, except for moon 💓 she’s an absolute godsend and I heavily discussed everything with her for both august and pussy blocked, especially the ending 💕 so big shout out to her for really helping me out with both of them 🌸🌸

I made friends by either a) gushing about their writing in their ask box or dm’s because have you seen how talented they all are???? or b) they sent me a message! 🥰 I can go more into detail about my closest mutuals below:

tk god (hyoseobie / eggyukhei) — tk was my very first mutual on here and a big reason as to why I even started this blog :’) I found her nct blurbs and fell in love with them and I was like “I wanna write blurbs too!!” so I made this blog and then I sent her an ask and we just kept talking after that 💘 and we got close, and we were supposed to see nct together last june 🤧 nowadays, I just spam her with a lot of meme posts on insta and guilt trip her for dropping yukhei for jaemin and doyoung 😔 I’m sorry for clowning you so much tk

els (taeyongtime) — els is so freaking talented, and I read her tabula rasa fic way back in 2017 when I wasn’t even a fan of nct and didn’t know who each member was. All I knew was that this was the greatest fic I have ever read, and nothing will ever top it. anyway, someone asked me for fic recs, and I had tagged her in it because of course, I would recommend her superior fic 🤩 and then she reached out to me, and now we like to complain about work together lol and text everyday and I send her phyllis pictures and we even mail each other letters !! 💕 also !!!! She’s the closest to my age out of my close friends here, so I feel like it’s super easy to talk to her 💞

lana (choerrypuffs) — she reblogged my neptune’s atlantis fic, and I responded to her reblog and also her blog looked super aesthetic so I clicked on it and then read her fics and was like “wow god tier writing I need to send in some asks to scream about these fics because the TALENT 💓💓” and we talked but we didn’t get close until like a week later when I found this pjo meme and didn’t know who else liked pjo except for her so I randomly dm’ed it to her with some all caps screaming message LOL and now we enjoy shit talking about anything and everything because it’s a safe judge free zone for our unpopular opinions lmaooo and she bullies me for typing all my fics on my phone but it’s ok because at least I’m honest about my bias and I don’t burn toaster strudels in the oven

steph (aqiaquas) — I needed some jeno pictures to make his banner for my not clickbait series and posted a cry for help about it, and she responded !!! I believe she also left a comment earlier regarding my wips about bff renjun faking an aussie accent, but we didn’t talk to each other as much until the jeno pic thing! I dm’ed her for the help and we just continued to talk after that 💕 so thank you jeno I suppose lmaoo and we’re also pen pals now 🥰 big props to her for always giving the nicest advice and for always listening to me 🥺 i talk to her about work issues a lot and we text daily !! I tell her and ti more stuff about me than I do with any of my friends tbh 🤧 I also did a facetime with her and ti a few weeks ago and we got her to stay up past her early bedtime cndjjdjdjdjd she, ti, and i have a gc which she has named “JENO APPRECIATION SOCIETY” LMAO

ti (t-shrt / m88n) — ti left me the kindest words and most detailed asks regarding my fics, and I still cherish them so so much 🥺💗💗 from there, she sent me more asks and I started talking to her more until we began to dm each other! and my god, she just gets me 100% and I can talk to her about anything like even the scariest most personal stuff I don’t tell anyone else about myself, I feel comfy enough to tell her about it, and I hope she feels the same! We text each other everyday and are also pen pals, and I want to visit her and steph one day!!! 💖 honestly I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who has related to me so much before, and you know what? ti, if you’re reading this, I think this is the easy we were talking about before

moon (wincore) — can you believe that we’ve only been friends for 40 days??? I just checked and I am flabbergasted because it feels like so much longer than that. An anon messaged moon a cute ask about how she and I are both yunqis and write fics, and she had tagged me in it! So I sent her an ask, and we were also in the same almost collab, so I dm’ed her afterwards, and we started talking and now she sends me pictures of her doggos and I send pictures of phyllis and I can talk about anything with her and we like to bounce fic ideas off of each other (read: one of us tells the other about a wip and the other person screams and sends a bunch of capslock messages about it) jejdjdjd her only flaw is that she barks at her dogs and doesn’t see this as furry behavior 😔 also we have the same taste in men LOL legends only and I hope she’s having lots of fun in the club listening to t swift rn !!!!

april (dropofgoldensun) — april ilysm okay so she always left the loveliest comments under my fics, and one day, I had this fic idea and was like “I want someone else’s opinion on this” but I wanted a fresh perspective on it, so I decided to dm her out of the blue and ask what she thought of it! And from there, we began to talk more and we also sent each other letters !!! in fact, I got hers last week and it made me 🥺🥺🥺💗💗 I have it pinned up to the corkboard in my room along with drawings by steph 💘

so all in all, I made friends by regularly sending them asks or shooting them a dm, or they sent me asks and continued to have a conversation with me 🥰 as an extrovert, I always love making new friends and never shy away from meeting new people, but I understand that it can be scary for some to reach out and take the first step 🤧 but if you do decide to, you might meet the most wonderful people 💞 I honestly can’t imagine what my life would be like without the friends I made on here now 🤧💖 but also, be careful of stranger danger and talk to those appropriate to your age! quite frankly, for instance, it doesn’t make sense for a 25 year old to want to be friends with a 14 year old. I can understand if the 14 year old wants to ask for advice or something, but having an equal friendship is nearly impossible when you’re at different stages of your life / maturity. Please stay safe! 💛 and omg no need to apologize, lovebug, I hope my answer made sense for you! let me know if you have any other questions 💟