#i have to stop myself from. going back and trying to change the ending i got.
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seeliemansi · 2 days ago
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You Made Him Worried (Mr. Crawling x Reader)
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Synopsis: The last thing you want is to make him worried
a/n: Wrote this while high on antihistamine, will probably rewrite after I got better *hic*
Part of this universe
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Mr. Crawling despises it when you get hurt. He tends to be extra clingy, extra needy, and very shaky when it happens.
You have to be careful as you dance around the topic of you getting hurt because he is not playing with your safety.
That's why when you slipped, and the cause was just you being careless as you decided that running towards your apartment to go home is a good decision during a sudden rain, it hit you so bad, you didn't even have time to say ouch out loud. Enough with protecting yourself from getting wet. You were more worried that he will panic and will start a power surge that can cause an electricity loss in your apartment building. You need the heater and can't sleep with how cold it is tonight.
Your white dress is wet and ruined. Your hair is a mess. You are bruised and in pain. And you walk upstairs with a limp. A good way to end the day you supposed.
You remind yourself to be cool. Not to make Mr. Crawling worried. You just want it to not be awkward when you meet him back home, waiting for you at his usual spot.
At least that's the plan.
The moment you stepped inside, all smiles, acting silly, downplaying what happened, you tried your best. You really do.
But when you opened your eyes, and looked at him.
His smile was turned into a frown. And with a shaky voice he asked.
“You, what happened?”
“You. Blood? Wound?”
“Hurt? Hurt?” He continued asking as he grabbed your arm. A wince came out of your mouth not from his hold, but from a cut you never saw due to the dimly lit streets and the mud that clung on your skin.
“No! Mr. Crawling, I am okay. See, not hurt and painful at all.” You grabbed his hand and wrapped it around yours, trying to divert his attention. You bite the inside of your cheeks, pretending that your whole body is not sore from the fall.
“Let's go, Mr. Crawling. I need to change or I will get a cold.” You insisted as you stepped inside and tried to chuckle, trying to dissipate the tension that is slowly building up in the air. When suddenly, he stopped, pulled his hands out of your hold, slowly stood up, and towered over you.
“No!” He screamed, voice deeper than usual. He walked closer, an inch away from you. His breathing is heavy. His hair seems to have a brain of its own as it stood, like Medusa’s snakes. The electricity flickers as he moves.
You gulped, planning to take a step back but you’ve been cornered by a wall. You can only helplessly look up at him. Watching the dark look clouding over his face.
—-----
“You done?” He asked, too chirpy to your liking.
“I will be done soon. Can you let go of my hand for a moment?” You draw circles on his hand that was holding yours as you bathe in the tub. The curtains were drawn, to give you a little privacy. A little uncomfortable but if you fully close it, he will surely sit in the tub and watch you bath instead.
This is the only compromise he agreed to so he will stop standing up and darkening your hallway.
Although you know he wasn't capable of hurting you, you got so scared when he suddenly stood up and towered over you. All you can think about is to make a compromise that he will like, or at least to lessen his worry. It breaks your heart to see him worried.
“Yes. Yes. Towel?” He offered. But when you tried to grab it from his hold, he pulled it so you would let it go.
“No! Me help you.” He insisted.
“But I can do it by myself.” You countered.
“I said no. I will help you.” A shiver ran down your spine when he suddenly was able to form a whole sentence in your language.
“Alright.” You sighed and stepped out of the tub. He is standing up, hands holding the towel wide open. He is grinning and looking thrilled. Who would have blamed him? It is the first time you two are inside the bathroom together. “Come! Come!” He giggles as he wraps it around you.
The way he switches from terrifying to sweet is always a surprise to you. He can be the sweetest but when push comes to shove, the most frightening ghost you have ever seen.
“Here, kiss. Kiss. Kiss.” He spoke as he raised your arm and kissed all the visible cuts and bruises you have on your skin.
You can't help but giggle from the gesture, feeling your heart swell with happiness. You may be sore but you're glad that you took him home.
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gojoest · 21 hours ago
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“I can’t believe you let that guy hold your hand”
Satoru was upset. Really upset. You could see it all over his face — jaw clenched, brows furrowed, the vein on his forehead so swollen it was threatening to pop any second now.
“You are being ridiculous”, you sigh. He’s been at it for 3 hours now and you no longer have the energy to try and beat some sense into him, he’s not listening to you anyway. “Please stop”, you ask for what probably is the hundredth time.
“Okay”, he audibly breathes under his nose, but surely doesn’t sound the least bit convincing, nor does he look like he’s given up, judging by the way he’s fervently searching up something on his phone, tapping left and right, downloading all kinds of social apps. “What’s his name?"
“You’re not going to look him up now, are you?”
He can’t be serious, you try to reason internally. He’s just being too silly right now pretending to throw another jealousy fit to show you just how much he loves you and how crazy he is about you, you try to convince yourself.
Yet, the look in his eyes refutes all of your hopes.
He has gone mad. He really is after that guy.
“Bingo. Name, please”
“I don’t remember it”, you let out an exasperated whine.
“Fine, I’ll just have Ijichi track that homewrecker down, then I’ll go deal with him personally myself”
“…”, you sigh once again. “And then what?”
“I’ll cut his hand and burn it”, he nonchalantly blurts out, his eyes focused on his phone as he types out instructions to Ijichi, along with a photo attached to the message.
3 hours ago, when things went terribly wrong
As promised, you were showing Satoru your childhood albums.
He was very eager to see how the mini you looked backed in the day. Basking in the sight of your adorable self from the photos, gushing over your chubby cheeks and cute outfits, he was asking about the story behind each shot and curiously listening to you go on and on about the old times and the little you he didn’t know about.
…that was until a certain group photo from kindergarten caught Satoru’s eyes.
“What’s this”, he pointed at it.
“It’s a group pic from kindergarten when I was four, I think? The teachers made us pair up and hold hands for the photo, and I ended up with this boy here”
Silence. Something was off.
Satoru wasn’t reacting the way he was to the other pictures. His smile was frozen on his lips but it was gone from his eyes, and he was unusually quiet too. The aura he was giving off was definitely eerie, and not the least bit loving.
“Yeah?”, Satoru spoke in a dull voice. “And you let him hold your hand?”
“What?”, you blinked twice. “I—, what?”
“You let another man touch you?”
“A man? He was four, and so was I — we were children, Satoru”, you, in complete disbelief, try to laugh it off. There was no way he could be actually upset about and jealous over something so ridiculous (he was in fact very upset and very jealous, and yes, over something so ridiculous).
“It doesn’t change the fact that this bastard touched what’s mine”, he was gritting his teeth.
“I wasn’t yours back then”, and you were pouring oil into the fire.
“Look, just because we didn’t know each other doesn’t mean you weren’t mine. You were always mine, you just didn’t know it. But that guy—”
You cut him off, “Alright”, and took the photo album from his lap, closing it shut and tucking it under your armpit. “We’re done looking at my childhood pictures”
“Why? Are there more guys holding your hand in there?”, he protested in a high-pitched voice.
“…”
“Oh my god?”, he cried out. “There are?”
Yes, there were. And if he kept looking, by the end of the day, he would turn into a mass murderer.
a/n: mind you, the rest of the pictures are all on friendly terms too, purely platonic. but better safe than sorry! AHAHAH
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constantfragmentation · 2 days ago
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HI FELLOW SILCO ENJOYER
What are your thoughts on the polycule theory of felicia-silco-vander? 👀
Whew... where to begin?
Fair warning, this is going to be a long assessment.
First off, I firmly believe (unless S2 Act 3 makes me eat my words), that the writers didn't realize Silco and Vander would become such popular characters. I don't think that was the plan. They were side characters meant to beef up the main stars Jinx and Vi. Rightly so. They were devised as parallels for Vi and Jinx throughout the story. And it was beautiful.
S1 was filled with little details that enhanced every part of the plot and character development through each act.
However, if S/V were so important, more care would have been put into their backstories, which have been kept pretty vague. And these so-called continuity mistakes/plotholes seem pretty big for a studio that has been meticulous in the details all through S1.
We meet Vander, who changes his life after seeing the kids lose their parents and adopts them. Vander is seen as the builder and leader of the Underground, and he seems to lead with the threat of who he used to be (until Sevika calls his ass out).
Silco is introduced as the mean baddie immediately via Vander/Benzo's conversation in E1.
"There's worse things than Enforcers out there. We both know that."
Then his full intro including an underground evil lair and mad scientist at the end of E1.
E2 leans into the same MO for Silco. Until finally coming to the best episode (IMO) in all of S1 and it's E3, where things come to light. But he's still evil, vicious and spares no one. Silco appears to have zero empathy and is filled with a deep seeded hate.
"Silco?! You animal! Go crawl back into whatever hole you came out of!"
S1E1-3 Silco completely paints him as terrible from the Underground's perspective. Silco - bad. Vander - good. Both Vander and Benzo see Silco as a dangerous threat. So does the rest of the Underground feel the same? Do they know about what happened to Silco by Vander's hands? Sevika chooses him because she lost faith in Vander as a leader.
So, that makes me wonder if Silco WAS the brains behind everything from their smuggling business and building up the Underground to the rebellion. Vander on his own, seemingly, isn't shit. He is the muscle. WIthout the brains, he doesn't haven much in planning so he turns to making a deal with Enforcers instead.
By S1E3, we start to see beyond the veil a bit. Vander tried to drown and murder Silco. Let's remember one thing. Vander didn't just try to shoot Silco or they got into a fist fight and things got out of hand.
He tried to DROWN him. There's no way Silco went with Vander to the river fearing his life. Now, whether they went to talk in private and it got heated, you still have to sit back and look at Young!Vander and think wtf?
He is painted the good guy from the beginning. A man with restraint and compassion, looking out for everyone and especially his 'kids'.
It takes will and strength to smother/drown a person. It is NOT a quick death, it's a slow and painful death. Vander's intent was to kill him. Not once, did Vander think in the minutes holding Silco underwater that damn, this is wrong or overkill? You don't flippantly say "I'll never forgive myself" for trying to murder you slowly. Now beating the shit out of him and ruining his eye, yeah, that would make more sense from Vander, knowing he probably turned Silco into this worse person and fucked up his face, vision forever.
The viewer is left to assume it was something so fucking bad, Vander had to kill to stop it. Plus, Silco is already painted as the bad guy, so we presume Vander was right in trying to kill him?
So, what was so bad that this course of action was required? Well, it's pretty damn vague. In all of E3, Felicia isn't mentioned or hinted at ONCE. Not once. If Vander tried to kill Silco because of her, why do we not learn about any of it?? That seems like a pretty important fact, yes? This is Vi/Jinx's mom and she was a close friend? I'd say that's important.
Nope. Silco drags Vander to his lair and waxes on about fighting Piltover and finally realizing his dream of a free Zaun by any means.
Vander tells Silco he's never forgiven himself for trying to kill him, but nothing else is added to it? We're left to believe that Silco was either too powerful and influential in Zaun or that he orchestrated the bridge fight (that Vander was still fighting until the kids arrive and they see their dead parents).
This grey area is why the fandom has spent years trying to decipher what was so bad that it tore two brothers apart with attempted murder.
We learn in S2, Vander apparently "looked everywhere" for Silco and then wrote him a letter in a mine, hoping Silco might come across it. Well, if your brother tried to murder you, I'd say you would stay far away from him and not venture to old places in case he might try it again? Sounds reasonable, yes?
So Vander just gave up trying to talk to Silco and explain everything for YEARS? By S1E1 he and Benzo know about Silco and probably know where he is and that he's up to no good obviously. So why haven't they talked once in years?
Vander said he was in a rage over Felicia's death. But I'm sorry, none of that makes much sense and frankly takes the fire out of what created the fracture between two friends.
I would have preferred Riot not explain than give us a half-assed backstory of three happy-go-lucky buddies and the death of one is the backbone of hate, distrust and betrayal.
Again, Silco said Vander BETRAYED him. If they were arguing about Felicia and her partner dying, leaving kids orphaned, I don't call that betrayal. Vander's letter sounds like an argument that got out of hand. You don't just accidentally drown your best friend for the greater good because your other friend died in a fight ALL of you were fighting. You knew people would get hurt and/or die. It's reality.
It just doesn't FIT. It doesn't fit these characters at all in the narrative from S1.
Another reason I believe Riot never intended to go further with Silco and Vander's backstory is in the animation. Like I said above, S1 was littered with little and amazing details that we, as the viewer, have been analyzing for years.
The drowning was a VERY young Silco and Vander. Vander clearly has a beard and looks much older on the bridge in E1. The flashback in E3 looks like it was 10 years earlier at LEAST. That would be around the time Vi was born or a toddler if we're estimating her age by S1E1 on the bridge.
Vander beat the shit out of him and then decided to kill him by drowning. THAT is a major choice to make. That is a vicious choice. So we do see Vander as being more violent in his youth. So if the drowning came AFTER the bridge, that also doesn't quite fit either. He takes the kids and chooses pacifism, yet soon after, he's murdering his best friend. AND he suddenly shaved and grew younger, because he wanted to look clean and pretty before killing his bestie?
Zero continuity here. Bad writing. If there was mistake due to animation, they should have changed the backstory to fit than ramrod something else that looks badly done and makes zero sense to your audience.
Personally, I wish the drowning was PRIOR to the bridge battle.
It would make more sense if Vander was having second thoughts while planning the bridge fight. Maybe a separate attack went wrong and he realized they were going to lose and many would die. Silco, maybe having more influence or threatening to show Vander as a coward to the people is what finally triggers Vander to kill him. In order to stop this, Silco needs to die and then maybe Vander can convince others the fight is already lost against a superior firepower.
To kill Silco in that manner, signals to me, Silco was a great threat. Which means to me, Vander either felt he was a threat to him (since Vander does become the power in the Underground - the Hound) or he is beginning to feel like this fight is pointless and will change nothing. People will die for nothing.
Making it all about Felicia, just takes the fire out of rift between these two men all these years.
Again, she's never mentioned.
Silco even reflects in S1E3 that he still respected Vander after the drowning until he learned Vander was working with Enforcers and basically made a deal with Topside to keep the peace. That continues his pathway as a rebel and he's going to take down Vander with it or use him "what you really are".
Silco knows how violent Vander was and he's going to use it with Shimmer.
If we go by S2 timeline, then both Silco and Vander would know Felicia's kids well before the bridge battle. in S1, Silco would know who Vi is, at least and be aware of Powder. He would know this by S1E3 when he says "Have you heard the rumour? Vander the coward fled town with his children and were never seen again."
Pretty callous talking about his other bestie's kids like that. Damn. If Silco cared for her, then wouldn't he spare her kids? I just don't see this was ever about Felicia. It doesn't fit. He really didn't flinch in having Vi or any of the kids killed. HER kids? I'm having a hard time with that one.
I've said before that in Silco's eyes, Vi is an extension of Vander. When he finds Powder and she cuts off Vi as her sister, Jinx becomes an extension of himself, thus HIS daughter. It's like Silco's last "fuck you" to Vander by taking Felicia's other daughter as his own.
Overall, I hope to hell it's not some love triangle. Or either man was in love or had a crush on her.
I read some fans saying since the flashbacks are Vander's in S2, we're seeing things from his perspective. I'm all for an unreliable narrator with characters because it keeps things open for interpretation.
But we would need to see this from Silco's perspective, too—not just the drowning/betrayal. Silco sees this as a major factor in the direction his character takes. It's a life-changing moment for him.
We also don't see any flashbacks to the years Silco took care of Jinx after Vander's death. If he knew Jinx's mom, wouldn't that come up? Wouldn't that be something Jinx would remember and influence her?
In S2, she reminisces a few memories of her mom like nothing has happened since. She and Vi act like nothing really happened between them. By the end of S1, the sisters diverge when Jinx decides who she will be. It's Jinx, not Powder. She knows Silco loved her and, more importantly, accepted her for who she was. She was perfect in his eyes.
Plus, Vander's trio flashback seems odd in both animation and backstory choices. Silco looks VERY different than his flashback of the drowning. His hair is much longer (man bun), he has a widow's peak he doesn't have later (weird). He appears to care for Felicia and happy for her being a mom. They made him more physically attractive and older than the flashback in S1E3.
Vander doesn't look like the younger version in Silco's drowning flashback. He looks older too. Animation choices were made that don't match the continuity of the previous season.
We're assuming their smuggling business is doing well if Felicia talks about the Underground being much better for everyone. Are we still giving Vander full credit for that? S1 implies Vander built the Underground both from Grayson and Zaunites.
Silco jokes he is "Bozo #1". To me, he is joking but not in saying he's the mastermind in this duo. Without him, Vander's just a brute.
I'm not sure of Vi's age by S1E1, but maybe she's 10 or 12? So prior to the battle unless a fallout happened with Vander and Silco, why don't we see Silco with the kids? Why do the kids act like they don't know him? If they were such a tight trio with Felicia, why only Vander with the kids?
He fought at the bridge knowing Felicia had two young kids that could be orphaned and was still fighting when the kids showed up. He already knew Felicia was dead but was still fighting.
If her death was too much, why didn't he stop then? The kids appreance stopped him. Okay. I get that. But we don't see Silco anywhere on that bridge, does he know she dead? Is he still fighting? Where is he?
This whole polycule feels like they had to throw it in somewhere but didn't adequately explain it to match the motivations of the characters we have known and studied. It opens more plothole questions than it answers. It creates more problems that did not need to be there.
If Felicia wasn't that important to expand on last season, why do it now and do it poorly that contradicts characterizations already laid down in the whole previous season?
I'll say it again and again: Riot did not plan for it. They didn't think Vander and especially Silco would be so popular, and fans would demand to know more about them.
Plus, another thing that kind of bugged me:
When Vi is embracing Warwick/Vander and tells Jinx "He's your dad too."
Yeah, it's a nice moment, but it's a shit on Silco too. Technically, didn't JInx have more years with Silco than Vander? She saw Silco as her father (although not the best), accepted her, encouraged her skills, gave her important jobs, wouldn't give her up and called her perfect in his dying words.
I guess fuck that dad, right? He is evil dad and now he's dead, doesn't matter anymore.
Did anyone else feel like Jinx turned back into Powder this season? The kicker in S1, is that she CHOSE to be Jinx. IDK. The sisters were real quick to hook back up after everything.
As I've said before, they needed maybe three seasons if they were going this route. No character is getting enough time this season for good story-telling and character development. Too much is getting crammed in one season and it's sad because there is SO much story to work with.
I, for one, would watch another season of these characters. You could take time to explain the Black Rose and Mel's story. Ekko has nothing this season. Jayce doesn't have much. There's very little explaining and too many new questions that won't get answered in one season.
Vi became an Enforcer for half a second. Granted Caitvi only knew each other for maybe a week so for their 'relationship' to fall apart doesn't surprise me. But Cait bouncing back and forth. Jinx bouncing back immediately after Silco's death doesn't make sense since he wasn't the cause of her mental illness.
"Silco didn't create Jinx. You did."
Sister's bond quickly like nothing happened between them. Sevika is suddenly on Jinx's side with little work considering they disliked each so much.
Intro of a new character, Isha.
Viktor turns into Jesus and hangs out in the Big Bang with Sky. I was waiting for Machine Herald and got Jesus Herald.
Ambessa could have a better story but again, I think they needed at least one more season to flesh everything out. It's all too fast and packing way too much into one season of plot for so many characters. The sister's reunion is too fast. We don't get enough info on Warwick yet.
I hope, but they can't tie all this up in three more episodes.
Sorry for the mental vomit, but I've been thinking about this all week, and now it's out like verbal diarrhea. Even though I've enjoyed this season, I can't help but feel disappointed. S1 was so much better.
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maya-caffrey · 2 days ago
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Strawberry Froyo
pairing: tasm!peter x reader words: 1.4k a/n: y'all i suck at summaries but trust me, it's good summary: you make a new friend :) warning: none, this is pure unadulterated fluff, there's some language tho; ps: this is from the reader's pov
“Son of a-” I silently cursed to myself when I realized late for science. Again. It was the third time this week and I knew my teacher was not going to be pleased. I didn’t have time to waste so I picked up my big stack of books and raced down the hallway towards the classroom until I was oh so rudely knocked over by Eugene ‘Flash’ Thompson who seemed to be in a hurry. Probably to bully some poor kid. Or teacher. Dick. 
“Hey watch where you’re going, Eugene” I yelled. Ah, crap. I knew he hated being called Eugene. Pretty much everyone knew. Boy was I in trouble.
“What did you just say?” Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh. Shit shit shit fu-
“Back off, man, come on. Leave her alone.” This was new. No one ever talked back to Flash. Especially not someone who knows him.  On one hand, I was flattered to see that someone was standing up for me, not that I couldn’t, but it was nice and on the other hand, I feared for this guy’s life. He’d banged heads with Flash before and it didn’t end well for him, as I remembered. He was in a few of my classes. Peter Parker. The kid with the death wish. And a really cool camera.
“Shut up, Parker. You’re in my way.” Flash was making his way towards Peter and my heartbeat got faster because 1, this never ends well, 2, I was scared for señor death wish, and 3, I was very late for science. Probably the wrong thing to worry about but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m late. I figured maybe apologizing would get him to calm down.
“Flash I’m sorry about earlier, I really am, but some of us need to get to class.”  Me. I need to get to class you pretentious douchebag. I was compelled to say it but I liked having teeth. 
He just stood there, silent, like he was desperately trying to calm down, or probably constipating, which I figured meant that I could go. I went back to my stack of books, now lying spread out on the ground, thanks to Flash. I started picking them up one by one when I was joined by a familiar face. 
“Here you go,” he said, after giving me a much larger stack than I had gathered single-handedly. Huh. That was fast. Not just in an impressive way but also in a sort of Are you ok? Are you having an acid trip? way. I put a stop to my train of thought and collected my books from him. He was gone before I could thank him. 
Timeskip brought to you by Psyduck 
After coming up with an excuse for why I was late to science (because I’m not the one with a death wish, no way I’m ratting out Flash), I took my seat and caught up on what I had missed from Gwen. It took me some time to realize that Parker was sitting diagonally in front of me and I wanted to thank him then and there. Despite establishing that he was running short of brain cells, ultimately he stood up for me. It’s not something people bother doing for me. I tore a sheet of paper, expressed my gratitude and I got a little brave and decided to add something more. I crumpled it up and threw it towards where he was sitting. Somehow, somehow, he turned and caught the paper ball. It was like he knew it was coming before it did. What. 
He looked behind him, confused as if to ask what is so important that you must interrupt science, you uncultured swine before relaxing after realizing it was me. Not gonna lie, that made me feel nice. Open it I gestured. He opened it to find a hand-written note that read 
Thank you for standing up for me :) Oh yes and also the books. Thank you for the books. What do you say I make it up to you? Froyo place around the corner, after school? -y/n
He looked at me and smiled before turning back and scribbling something down. I’d be lying if I said that smile didn’t make me smile too because oh lord it was the cutest thing ever. Like baby turtles walking for the first time. Or like baby axolotls. Like a ray of sunshine that -ow. I was distracted after the same paper ball from earlier found me again. I opened it to find the words  
I’d love to :) I’m looking forward to it. -Peter.  
Is it possible to find someone’s handwriting cute? Because I did. For some reason, it was adorable. I smiled to myself and then in his direction after reading it. I don’t know why, but I felt the need to save this paper for a long, long time.
I couldn’t stop smiling for the rest of the day. 
Timeskip brought to you by Roadkill restaurant - you kill ‘em, we grill ‘em. 
I made it to the froyo place first, so I saved him a seat at the best table I could find. You could say I was a little nervous, but to be honest, he seemed very comfortable to be around. He was like a warm cloud of comfort. He was like an old friend you’ve known your whole life. He was five minutes late. 
“I’m so sorry. There was some stuff, and there was some more stuff after that stuff, and then I-”
“Dude, relax, it’s fine. Sit down. Breathe.” He was out of breath like he ran all the way here.
“I-Thanks. I’ll uh, yeah I’ll sit down.” He sat down and took a few minutes to catch his breath. I silently observed him in a non-creepy way and I realized that he was much more adorable closer. He’s the kind of guy who you’d thank after he bumps into you. 
The waiter was here to take our order. “strawberry froyo with cookie dough bites”, we both said simultaneously. Surprise is an understatement. 
“No way, I thought I was the only one,” I said.
“It is an elite combination, and no one can tell me otherwise.”
“Exactly. Everyone I’ve had froyo with says it’s trash, and it’s sad how so many people are wrong.” He laughed at this and told me about other bizarre combinations he had tried. 
We spent the rest of the evening at the froyo place and to say it was amazing would have been a huge understatement. We talked about movies, music, books, and other things we were both interested in and it was incredible how great we got along with each other, considering we’d never even had full conversations before. I felt comfortable around him like you didn’t have to run everything thrice inside your head before I said it. You know when you find someone so in sync with you, it’s like you’re the same person? Like you know exactly what they mean when they say something? That, times a hundred was how I felt. 
“Listen, y/n, I had a great time”
“Likewise, Parker,” I said with a smile. He smiled back and I swear to god one day it’s going to be the death of me. None of us knew what to say so we just smiled like idiots and stared at the suddenly very interesting walls and ground. 
“So, I’ll call you? Later?” I decided to break the silence.
“Oh, yeah, sure, do you have my number?” As he said this, he started getting a little restless and I could swear I heard police sirens somewhere in the distance.
“I don’t think I d-” Before I could complete my sentence, He took my hand, and started writing his number on my palm. As he was writing, I started to feel very aware of the fact that our hands were touching. I felt sort of jumpy like I wanted to twirl and hop my way home. He wrote it with utmost concentration and held my hand like a delicate artifact he was scared of dropping. He was so cute when he was focused. As soon as he was done, he walked away out the door and towards traffic while facing me before screaming “Call me!” and disappearing into the alley nearby on his skateboard.  
I realized I was still there, at the froyo place, lost in my thoughts before I decided to head home as well. Oh boy, I’m in trouble.
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helloalycia · 2 days ago
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𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋 [𝐓𝐖𝐎] — 𝐒𝐊𝐘𝐄 𝐑𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐘
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one / three / masterlist / wattpad
summary: as you and Skye try to relearn how to be friends again, you realise it’s harder than you thought.
warning/s: mentions of injury, substance abuse, poor mental health and basically everything Skye goes through oof.
author's note: here’s part 2! so sorry it was delayed, i’ve been stuffed with cold for the past few days so didn’t have chance to share it. Hope this makes up for it anyway :)
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"...and I'm just outside your building now," I said to Skye over the phone, lingering outside.
"I was just about to call," she said in a rushed voice, sounding apologetic. "I'm running late, but I'm almost there. Give or take ten minutes. You can head straight up. The doorman knows to let you in and the spare key is in the same place as always."
I hesitated at her response.
It wasn't a big deal, I'd been to her apartment many times, but it had also been a year since I'd last been and it felt strange to go up alone. Especially because I was just supposed to be meeting her to go out, not actually going inside.
"Oh, I can just wait outside, it's okay," I said, maybe a little too quickly, but she didn't seem to notice.
"No, it's fine, you head up, I'll be with you soon," she assured me, before I heard a sound in the background. "I gotta go. See you in ten!"
I chewed my lip before putting my phone away and heading straight inside. As Skye said, the doorman recognised me and let me straight up, and it felt odd. The last time I'd been in the lift, I was crying on the way down from that awful argument between Skye and I. I hadn't been back since – I'd had no need to. But now...
It wasn't the same, I had to remind myself of that. She wasn't the same. None of this was.
Over the past few weeks, we'd somewhat returned to how things used to be, but it was all baby steps. Being each other's friend was second nature, and yet moments like this sometimes had me stumbling in the dark.
I found her door at the end of the hall, digging out the spare key from behind the framed painting next to it. A stupid place to keep it I'd always thought, but the whole place was guarded anyway so it didn't matter.
After opening the door, I returned the key to its spot before letting myself in. Everything looked the same as I last remembered it, and I didn't want to admit it to myself, but I'd missed it. I still remembered when she bought it and moved in, after her career picked up overnight. We'd had countless movie nights here, sleepovers that lasted days sometimes, and it just brought back so many memories. Good, as well as bad, but I tried not to focus on the latter.
I began to walk around aimlessly, waiting for her to return, eyeing the cabinet full of awards, the framed albums, admiring the penthouse view from her living room, and then I came across some framed photos hung on the wall. Some were of her and her mum when she was a kid, others were as she grew up, and then I spotted a familiar one.
It was a photo of Skye performing her first ever single on her first ever TV appearance years ago, and it was a photo taken by me, one of my first professional gigs as a photographer. A small smile tugged at my lips, realising she hadn't taken it down. I was touched that she kept it.
The door opening made me glance away and see Skye rushing in, looking a bit dishevelled. When she spotted me, she smiled with relief.
"Hey, sorry, I didn't mean to run late," she said as she closed the door behind her.
"It's fine," I said dismissively, before joking, "You know, you're a little too trustworthy. It's been a year. I totally could have come up here and, like, I don't know, robbed you or something. Sold your shit on eBay."
She tossed her bag to the couch as she laughed quietly, quirking a brow. "Oh, really? A year and you've suddenly turned into a criminal?"
"I could've."
"What a personality change."
I laughed as she stopped by my side, nudging me in the arm slightly, before her gaze fell to the photos hung on the wall.
"Ah, going through memory lane, I see," she teased lightheartedly.
I glanced at her with a slight smile. "It's cute that you've still got it. Even if it is a terrible photo."
"It's not," she said with a chuckle, looking at it with pride. "It's a two in one, I had to keep it. My first TV appearance and the day I met you. It just makes it extra special that you took the photo."  
My cheeks grew warm at her words, and I found myself staring at her profile as she smiled reminiscently at the photo. We'd come so far since then and yet I still did a double take whenever I looked to her. Maybe some things hadn't changed...
"I'm just gonna change my clothes and then we can head out," she said after a moment. "Won't be long."
"It's cool, take your time," I said with a nod, watching as she went to her room, before looking back to the photo and finding myself smiling all over again.
Becoming friends with Skye again made it easy to remember all the best parts of having a friendship with her, so much that I almost forgot what led to everything being ruined in the first place.
Of course there was the substance abuse, but the reason for that was the anxieties and stresses that came with being one of the most popular celebrities in the world. And it definitely didn't help that Skye never had a lot of support from her team, who only ever saw her as a commodity. Clearly that hadn't changed.
I'd just finished some work one morning and had plans to hang out with Skye after, maybe catch a movie or something as she had the day off, we hadn't really decided. But when I called her, she answered groggily.
"Hey, Skye, you good?" I asked jokingly.
She made a sound like a yawn before humming. "Yes, sorry, I was just napping. Just been tired."
"Oh, I was calling to say I'm free now, but we can rearrange if–"
"No, no, I want to see you," she cut me off with assurance, forcing herself to sound more lively. "A movie, right? Or lunch?"
I tried not to snicker. "Skye, it's your day off and you sound exhausted. It's alright."
"I'm fine, honest," she said confidently, or an attempt at it. "Please, I was looking forward to seeing you."
I sighed, debating whether or not to listen to her. Then, I thought of a solution. "How about we stay in? I can come to yours and we can watch a movie there?"
"Yes, I'd love that," she said with a hint of relief. "Thank you. I'll get the blankets warmed up in the dryer, ready for your arrival."
I laughed quietly. "Sounds good. I'll bring some snacks and be over soon."
And just like that, we both kept to our word and got comfortable on her couch barely half an hour later. Snacks were laid out on the coffee table whilst two fluffy blankets covered us completely. Still, we leaned against each other for warmth.
Skye was definitely burnt out, her general enthusiasm diminished temporarily and her movements sluggish, but she was smiling all the same as she spent time with me. I knew she meant it, but it still worried me that she wasn't getting enough time to simply rest.
"How's tour stuff going?" I asked as she loaded up a film on Netflix.
She shrugged as she focused on the task at hand. "Alright. Been busy. You know how it can get."
I glanced at her. "I do."
She must have noticed my staring as she stopped what she was doing and looked over at me with an amused smile. "What?"
"Nothing," I said nonchalantly, looking to the TV. "Just remember that you can take a break if you need to. It's important or you'll risk burning out."
She sighed, leaning her head on my shoulder and playing with the blanket mindlessly. "I know. I am."
"Enough breaks," I clarified, watching her hands play with it. "I mean, your team are supportive, I'm sure, but they don't always know what's best for you."
She snorted with amusement, glancing up at me. "And you do?"
I met her gaze, half playful and half serious. "Maybe. Maybe not. But I'll always be an advocate of you taking a freakin' break."
She suppressed a smile as she nudged me appreciatively. "You're right. I will. I guess I've just been busy making sure everything is perfect. It has to be, you know? Especially after everything."
"I know," I said sympathetically. "I get it. Just... take care of yourself. Please."
She nodded, though sunk further into the couch as she laced her hands around my arm to get comfortable, almost like she was ending the conversation without saying so. I took the hint and looked back to the screen.
"Picked a film yet?" I asked.
"Almost."
Despite how easy it was to fall back into everything with Skye, there were still topics we didn't discuss. Like we never brought up our friendship-ending argument again, or her time in rehab, and she never talked about the accident. It wasn't that I didn't leave that space open for her to discuss, but it was definitely her way of keeping that separate by not bringing it up. And naturally, I didn't want to force her to relive it by bringing it up either.
But not talking about it meant I didn't always know how to help her.
We were walking around a park near her apartment one evening, enjoying a stroll at first, but then we started to mess around on some of the playing equipment since the place was deserted.
"You really think you can clear it in ten seconds?" I asked her with a laugh as she looked up at the monkey bars.
"I do, yeah," she said, mirroring my laughter as she glanced at me. "You just watch. Go on. Grab your phone. Timer at the ready please."
Curious, I pulled out my phone and stepped back, finger hovering over the timer. "Ready when you are, idiot."
She grinned before standing beneath the monkey bars. Looking up at them, she took a deep breath, about to jump up, but I intentionally interrupted to throw her off.
"You sure you don't wanna stretch first?"
She jumped and glared at me playfully. "Shut up. Just get ready."
I laughed and waited patiently, watching as she readied herself once more. And then she jumped up to grab the bars and I started the timer.
She managed to move down three bars before faltering at the fourth one and then letting go all of a sudden. My eyes widened when she landed on the tarmac with a sharp gasp, and I forgot all about the stupid timer as I rushed to check on her.
"Shit, Skye, you okay?" I asked quickly, kneeling down beside her.
Her face contorted in pain as her hand clutched her back. She was leaning on her elbow, clearly hurt.
"I'm fine, I'm fine," she muttered quickly, though she winced and her eyes were squeezing shut to suppress the pain.
I noticed she was holding her back – not really putting together that it was from her existing back pain from the accident – and tried to help by reaching for her jacket to see if she'd hurt it from the fall.
"No!" she suddenly shouted when she saw me attempting to touch her, and I jumped.
"Okay, sorry, sorry," I apologised, not wanting to overwhelm or upset her anymore than she already was.
I moved my hand back, but she grabbed it and squeezed gently before I could, an attempt at an apology for her outburst. A shaky sigh escaped her lips as she breathed out the pain, and I didn't say anything more as I held her hand, waiting patiently. Though my heart was clenching with concern the longer she took.
"It hurts sometimes," she finally spoke, avoiding my eyes, "from the accident. That's all."
When I realised it was much more than just falling from the monkey bars, I felt stupid and spoke without thinking. "Do you have medicine?"
She tensed her jaw as she glanced at me.
"Stupid question, sorry," I realised, grimacing.
She let go of my hand and shook her head, expression softening. "No, it wasn't."
Something was bothering her, more than the pain, but now wasn't the time to ask, so I settled on helping her stand up.
"Maybe we should call it a night," I said carefully. "It's getting late anyway."
She nodded, still avoiding my eyes, and we both walked back to her apartment in an awkward silence. A million things were running through my mind, mostly out of concern for Skye, and acknowledging my utter stupidity. For once, I couldn't read her.
When we reached the lobby inside, we paused by the lift.
"Are you okay?" I asked, trying to dial down my worry for her sake.
"Yes, sorry," she muttered.
"It's fine," I assured her, eyes scanning her expression as she purposely looked at my shirt and not me. "I didn't mean to overstep before. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable."
She shook her head, eyes flickering to mine briefly, sad, before looking down to her shoes. "You didn't. I just–"
She paused, a moment too long, enough to make me wonder what had her so uneasy.
"It's not pretty," she finally spoke, quieter than usual. "The... the scar. It's..."
"You don't need to explain," I said, when she didn't speak anymore, though my heart ached with concern, soon realising her uneasiness was embarrassment. An unnecessary embarrassment at that, as if I'd care about a scar when she was still here, alive.
I gave her a moment, hoping she'd say something more, but she didn't.
"Will you be okay?" I asked worriedly, not wanting to leave her tonight if her back was flaring up.
She nodded. "Yeah."
I nodded too, though was unsure how to say my goodbyes. Usually I'd go in for a hug, but she was already uncomfortable with me touching her before and the last thing I wanted was to do that again.
But then she finally looked up, eyes meeting mine gratefully, before she hugged me.
"Thanks for not thinking I'm weird," she mumbled into my shoulder, arms wrapped around them tightly.
I returned the hug gently. "I could never."
She didn't let go straight away and neither did I, not until she made the first move since clearly she needed this hug more than I did.
Finally, she pulled apart and offered me a small smile. "Goodnight, Y/N."
"Goodnight," I said, returning her smile, before reluctantly leaving her.
It was the first time we'd even come close to talking about the accident and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried. She wasn't opening up and I wondered if she felt like she couldn't. But maybe that incident was the key, because things changed soon after.
About a week later, I was fast asleep when I woke up to my phone vibrating on my bedside table. Confused, I cracked an eye open, wondering who could be calling in the middle of the night, but then the vibrating stopped. I considered if I cared that much, before deciding it could've been an emergency and checking who it was.
When I saw Skye's name, I woke up a little more, overcome with concern since she'd never called like this before. Immediately, I rang her back. It took two rings before she picked up.
"Hello?" she answered with confusion.
Still half asleep, I answered groggily, "Why are you confused? You just called me."
She sighed. "I did. Sorry. I cut it off when I realised."
She sounded different, her voice hoarse.
"What's wrong?" I asked, sitting up in bed and rubbing my eyes.
"Sorry, I just–" She tutted at herself. "It's late, Y/N, go back to sleep."
Even half conscious, I knew she wasn't okay. "Skye."
It went quiet, but she gave in, to my relief. "I had a bad dream," she admitted quietly. "I just wanted to distract myself. I didn't mean to wake you."
I frowned to myself. "Are you okay?"
A shaky sigh escaped her lips. "I will be. Really, just go to sleep, I'll be fine."
"I can't sleep knowing you're by yourself," I told her, too tired to hide my worry.
She paused, and then her voice came out guiltily, "Sorry."
"Don't apologise," I said gently, before asking, "Do you want me to come over?"
"No," she answered quickly, before adding, "It's late. I don't want you up and about this late into the night."
I was already pulling my duvet off and sitting at the edge of my bed as I said, "It's not a problem, Skye." It went quiet on her end, so I prompted, "Skye?"
"You don't mind?" she asked hesitantly.
Realising she did in fact want me there, I tried to reassure her. "No, of course not. I can come now."
She practically held her breath. "I owe you."
"You don't."
Exhaling softly, she said, "I'll send a cab to get you. I'll cover the cost. I don't want you on public transport in New York when all the weirdos are out."
I cracked a small smile. "Okay, Skye, see you soon."
Sounding relieved, she said, "See you soon."
I yawned as I hung up, trying to move quickly but still trying to wake up and so unintentionally moving at snail speed. After packing a small bag, including a change of clothes and some toiletries, I pulled on my shoes and a jacket before leaving for Skye's.
The taxi ride wasn't long since the streets weren't busy, and I found myself at Skye's door in less than twenty minutes. As soon as I knocked, she opened up.
"Hey," I said with a tired smile, before hugging her in greeting. "How are you?"
She hugged me back and let me in, closing the door behind me. I noticed she was wearing her pyjamas, hair dishevelled and eyes a little red.
"Better now," she admitted, before frowning. "I'm sorry I woke you up. But I'm glad you're here."
"I'm glad you did," I told her, before leaving my bag by the kitchen counter. "So, what do you want to do?"
"You're tired," she noticed.
I waved a hand dismissively, trying to look more awake. "I can stay awake if you want, Skye."
She sighed, shaking her head, before wordlessly grabbing my hand and dragging me to her bedroom.
"Come on," she said as she climbed into her queen sized bed, so I got out of my shoes and jacket and followed suit, settling in beside her.
We laid on our backs, staring up at the ceiling in silence. I chewed on the inside of my cheek as I glanced at her, her expression dimly lit by the moonlight and lights shining through her blinds. She was weary, though attempting to hide it.
"Do you have bad dreams often?" I asked curiously.
She swallowed visibly. "Not as much as I used to, but... sometimes, yeah." She paused, as if stuck in an internal debate, before admitting, "It was about the accident."
At the mention of the accident, the air in the room felt charged with uncertainty, and Skye's jaw tensed slightly.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" I asked tenderly, and when she didn't reply, I quickly added, "Or you don't have to at all."
Her dark eyes flickered to mine, surprisingly calm. "It's okay. It's just– it's a lot. And when I'm alone, it's..."
"A lot," I finished for her.
She nodded, looking back up at the ceiling. "Yeah."
I found her hand between us, squeezing it gently in support.
"I remember how difficult it was after," she muttered. "That, and the withdrawals, and all of it – it was a lot. Being in the hospital... I had my mum, but it felt so lonely."
I frowned as she recalled the experience, hearing it for the first time from her lips. And then she looked over at me and I looked back, realising there were tears in her eyes.
"Why didn't you come?" she asked, voice cracking and eyes welling up. "I wanted you to visit so bad. I– I thought you would."
Not expecting that, I struggled to speak. "I told you, Skye, I thought you wouldn't want me there. I..."
She let go of my hand and wiped her eyes shamefully, looking away. I sat up slightly, leaning on my elbow to look down at her, not wanting her to bottle everything up now.
"I waited," she whispered. "Every day, hoping you'd come to see me."
My heart crumbled at her words, guilt pressing down on my chest. "I'm sorry."
She squeezed her eyes shut. "It's not your fault, I know that. But I just..."
With the nightmare still fresh and her recollection of the past at the forefront of her mind, I knew her emotions were heightened and she was overwhelmed, and it hurt to witness.
I pulled her into my chest for a hug, rubbing her back gently. "I wish I had. I wanted nothing more than to see you then, Skye, truly. But I'm here now. I promise."
She didn't say anything, but she didn't pull away either. Her sniffles were heard in the silence of the room and she kept a firm grip on my tee shirt, and I didn't know what else to do other than continue to rub her back soothingly.
At some point, we must have dosed off like that because when I opened my eyes next, it was morning. I yawned as I rubbed my face, confused to where I was at first. And then I recognised Skye's room and it all came back to me.
I looked beside me, seeing Skye fast asleep, face smushed against her pillow adorably. She looked a lot better than she did last night and I was glad for it, seriously worried about her. Hopefully she'd gotten some sleep after everything.
Trying not to stare too long, reminding myself that it wasn't very platonic of me, I looked away and carefully clambered out of her bed to freshen up. After doing so, I went into her kitchen to find something to eat.
I was eating from a bowl of cereal at her kitchen island when I heard footsteps, looking up to see her leaving her bedroom.
"Good morning," I greeted. "How are you feeling?"
She hummed tiredly, yawning and running a hand through her dishevelled hair. I couldn't help but smile at how cute she looked.
"Better," she finally spoke, brown eyes meeting mine across the counter. "Thanks, Y/N. For coming last night."
I shrugged. "It's okay."
She sighed, shaking her head, and looked down thoughtfully. After a moment, she said, "I know I haven't talked to you much about it all."
My expression softened. "I don't expect you to."
"I know," she said quietly, before meeting my gaze. "I want to. I do. Otherwise the way I am, how I act... it doesn't make sense and I don't want you to feel confused or think I'm insane or–"
"Hey," I cut her off, furrowing my brows. "I don't think that, Skye."
She chewed her lip momentarily, eyes flickering to the counter top. "I want you to know. Eventually. I just– it'll be bit by bit because I can't go through it all at once. It's too much."
I frowned sympathetically. "That's alright. You can tell me as little or as much as you want, whenever you want. Meanwhile, if you just want the support, I can give you that too. It's what friends do."
She smiled a little, nodding. "Right."
I studied her expression, unsure what to make of it. "Did you get any sleep? Last night?"
She nodded, looking up. "I did, yeah. Thanks for coming. I know it was late. And I'm sorry for breaking down on you."
I gave her a knowing look, offering a small smile. "You need to stop apologising."
She exhaled. "Sorry."
I rolled my eyes playfully. "Never mind that. You want breakfast? I can make whatever you want, providing you have it of course."
She smiled as she took a seat. "That would be nice, yeah. Eggs couldn't hurt."
"Eggs it is then," I said, eating the last bite of my cereal before standing up. "Give me five minutes.”
She nodded and watched me, relaxed for even the smallest of moments, enough to put me at ease too.
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seaofreverie · 2 months ago
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The Me who bought tickets to see TMBG in february 2023 and the Me who's going to actually go to the show next month are two completely different people
#slash extremely negative#it's funny to actually live this whole sort of cliche of: the time between buying tickets and going to the show can be so absurdly long#with what was supposed to be my 1st 'real' concert no less#'i bought the tickets as a teenager but i'm going to see them in my 20s etc' and stuff like that#and then when it gets rescheduled too... well. a year and 9 months is in fact a pretty long time!!!#and i'm not even talking about rescheduling due to covid because god at least i didn't have to deal with that i guess#(it IS funny though that by the time the 30th anniversary of flood tour ends#flood will be 2 months away from turning 35. so yeah lmao a lot happened in the meantime huh)#anyways day two of going crazy going insane for no reason other than well i guess that's just my life now!!!!! 😃😃😃#me when i say i'll stop documenting my rapidly progressing mental breakdown online and then keep doing it anyway#but idk maybe this will heal me in some way. my only hope rn no joke#and my mom actually seemed to be unsure if i we should book the hotels and stuff because. ig i'm this obviously unwell even over the phone#but BY GOD this is the only thing i can really look forward to right now i really need this to survive#(trying to forget how i was doing in september of last year when they rescheduled the tour#and i couldn't even be sure if i'd ever get to see them in the end lollllll#and at the heights of my tmbg obsession this was my number 1 dream. i mean it still is)#also i think i'm finally entering my tmbg autumn era now with some more frequent listening after not doing so for a while#how could i let myself pretty much forget that i love tmbg??? and that their music is so good and makes me happy???#they're still my fav band of all time just like they were back then. THAT didn't change at least#it's just that now they share that spot with sparks also lol. can't choose between them and why should i anyway#what else. ig i just hope i get the energy to finally draw tomorrow at least#because if i don't turn the ideas i have into reality then they will never become real! and that would be so sad#so maybe this can be my main reason to continue for now. whatever#goosepost
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problemcore · 10 months ago
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i miss this game already
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slippery-minghus · 11 months ago
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thinking about joining a local jiu jitsu class.... i'm SO not athletic and have always had a pretty negative relationship with sports, ambivalent at best, but i WANT TO feel good in my body and maybe even learn how to use it a little better? maybe even get a little stronger?
there's a free "see if it's for you" class i can do tomorrow and the guy was super nice.... so maybe. just maybe an autistic fat queer like myself can go out in the world and get a hobby that involves moving my body. maybe
#i'm excited in the way that comes with things i never follow through on#because fuck what if i don't like it? what if it's hard to integrate into my limited routine even if i do? so i never ever try#but it's a new year and i'm going to be fucking 30 in a month...... and i'm BORED#i'm BORED AS HELL with my life right now!!!#i want to get out and DO THINGS but how the hell do i find things? where do i go? what do i do?#i'm walking distance from this gym (and the bros i've seen leaving are always super nice)#which is a major factor in accessibility for me - i never go to gyms i have to drive to#and it's kinda expensive but.... i can afford it??#i'd been doing electrolysis for months last year and THAT was definitely more per month than this and i always made ends meet anyway#and i'll have my new HSA for the year that can pay for the first few sessions when i pick back up with it in march#fuck#i'm just so tired of not having enough energy to do the things i want#and there's a good chance making my body stronger will fucking help with that??#and if these people are even halfway nice enough and i can get in the groove of a routine.... well. maybe i CAN make a change#fucking hell#i need to remind myself a lot that a big part of unmasking and being authentically me is choosing to live and act by my values#and i VALUE being brave and trying new things- not bc i'm forced to. and now that i'm an adult i'll be allowed to quit if i don't like it#my parents aren't forcing me into this. and i'm old enough to make my own choices and stop running from things that remind me of theirs#my strategy has always been Avoid Things My Parents Would've Made Me Do but they're not fucking here?? and trying a physical activity isn't#saying that they were right to push me like that as a kid. i'm old enough to try it on my own terms now.#and that it's a sport doesn't mean its to punish me for having the body and mind that i have. NO it's to grow them.#and i can try and maybe even enjoy and keep with this new thing and not have it become a jail sentence for daring to express interest in it#i can try something else if i don't like it (not a jail sentence) and i can stick with it if i DO like it (also not a jail sentence!!!)#this is not basketball-softball-swimming-gymnastics-band-choir—all of the things i was curious to try as a kid and was forced to keep at#for years as 'punishment' for having expressed curiousity and then finding out it wasn't for me#(and SO much of it wasn't for me bc i was treated exactly the same as i was everywhere else as a kid: shamed and ignored!#NEVER welcomed and taught!!!) well it's DIFFERENT NOW. bc i'm fucking almost 30 DAMMIT#and i'm not in that shithole town anymore where every single person had a chip on their shoulder. like. there's something WRONG in that town#real people are so much nicer.#narrating my life
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shoveitevil · 19 days ago
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ugh its starting to get a lot worse again
#i feel like im constantly policing my own thoughts#i try to figure out what all my thoughts mean#what is the root cause and everything#i think that’s why im so attracted to determinism and naturalism#i guess it’s comforting to think that it was always going to end up this way#doesnt make it feel much better though#i think i need to start being more honest with myself#and honest with others#i lie so often it’s basically instinctual#but i also equally feel like there is no one i can truly be honest with#ive always had a small problem with intrusive thoughts#it was particularly bad in y8 when i had this recurring vision of someone gouging my eyes out omori style#and then i would get stabbed and id bleeed over a white carpet and no one would ever find me#but it went away eventually#i guess they have come back now#it just feels really awful and i wish it would stop because i always feel really bad after it#but when the thoughts arent really awful towards others it’s always endless self criticism#i check my weight every day i pull my shirt tight every day i feel my adam apple in my throat all the time#i look at my face and the imperfections change every day#im worried that i look so awful and it’s impacting my relationships with everyone around me but im equally worried that i have bdd or smth#and then i try to sleep and it takes hours because i just feel so awful and ugly and alone#ive gotten serious insomnia i stay up until 2 am every single night doing nothing but thinking and thinking and thinking#and then all of a sudden that awful stupid feeling from when i was 10 comes back and im just sad and wanna cry all the time and i don’t kno#why im like this there’s nothing to cause this i have friends now i have goals now why do i feel so fucking awful#my brother is getting sad a lot now and im worried its genetic#im really worried my dad has some serious mental issues its kind of scary#he genuinely doesnt empathise ever he genuinely doesnt acknowledge others emotions he doesn’t recognise tone and he doesn’t keep secrets#fucking hell he outed my sister to me he talks about really personal shit on a whim and he never changes his behaviour ever ever ever#he had to go on a 2 week no phone retreat to come back with any fucking sympathy but that all went away because of course it did#his dad went crazy too and i have hardly met any of my dads brothers it has to be genetic
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irisinluv · 3 months ago
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Isekaied as the Yandere Villain!? PT 1
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All I could do was stare at my reflection. This had to be a joke. I was going to wake up in my bed, right this instant.
“FUCK!”
Ok, so, pinching myself hurts. That’s fine. This is like. Some sort of lucid dream. What do they say to do if you’re lucid dreaming? Oh, that’s right, put your finger in your palm, it’ll phase through!
I resist the urge to scream as my finger meets solid flesh.
You see, I’m not in the right body. Or the right world from what I can tell. No, I’m supposed to be back home, waking up in a panic as I realize my alarm didn’t go off cuz my phone died after I stayed up way too late reading manga.
But of course, I’m not late to work, I’m in a lavish bedchamber right out of the latest webcomic I’d been reading! And by the looks of it…. I’m the crown princes crazy fiancé! As much as I love reading about the Isekai trope, I never wanted to be in one! And come on- as the Yandere Villain!? Couldn’t this at least be original? There’s hundred of stories just like “my next life as a villainess,” why couldn’t I be like… a stable hand or something? Ugh. Ok. Think!
I need to get home. Do the protagonists ever get back home in the stories I read? I pace around my room and rack my brain over every webcomic I’ve ever read, every manga I waited in line for, every anime I binged, even the unfinished manhwas! I can’t think of a single fucking one where they get home?
Well this isn’t going to stop me. I have a cat who’s going to absolutely flip if she’s not given fresh kibble in the morning. She has enough in her bowl for another 2 days but she needs it topped off ok! She’s a princess! I can’t be stuck here! Who’s going to throw her pompom toy for her if I’m not there???
What did all these have in common? What’s the barebones trope layout? Ok let’s see
1) person either died or falls asleep and wakes up in a new world…. Check
2) person is the villain!…. Check
3) to avoid the characters terrible death, person tries to change the story, ends up being new protagonist…
Ohhh… hey…. Do these Isekai characters ever just…. Play along? Even the “reincarnated as a baby” ones, they only play along till they’re old enough to try to run away or rework the political structure of the entire city. Maybe that’s it. Make it to the books natural end, and you’ll wake up where you belong. It’s like when you get part of a song stuck in your head. Play the whole song, and it’ll get out.
Ok, I’ve trained most of my adult life for this- I can totally ace this trope! I just have to stalk the crown prince, act totally in love with him, and be a bitch to the female lead. Then my finance will leave me, I’ll do some crazy dramatic act to try to kill the female lead, and then I’ll be exiled or executed, and wake up to feed my cat. How hard can it be?
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Hard. It’s very hard.
Where the hell did he go!? My fiancé, the crown prince Eric, was JUST HERE. I swear! He turned that corner back there and then went down this hall… at least I think it was this hall? Ugh! This is impossible! For someone with such loud shoes and an armed escort, you’d think he’d be easier to follow! Now my feet just hurt. They don’t make these fancy shoes to run around the castle all day. They’re meant to daintily peek from beneath my many skirts as I host a tea party or some shit.
Ok. I’ve got this! I’ll just peek into each room until I find him, maybe I can get a better feel for the layout, or maybe find his office and see if he has a schedule or a day planner or something I can use to make this whole stalking thing easier.
I begin snooping, and it’s a bit of thrill to be honest! Back in my real life, I’m the kind of person to hide a wrapper deep in the trash can if I’m babysitting, sitting on the floor playing a game on my phone after the kid goes to bed rather than “making myself at home” the way the parents insisted as they showed me how to access Netflix. I’ve never been a snooper. Now…. Well. It’s totally on brand for this character! I’m not me, I’m a psycho lovesick fool! I giggle a bit at that as my fingers trail over a shelf of beautiful pottery in some sort of sitting room.
“What’s so amusing dearest?”
I practically screech as my heart leaps to my throat and I whirl around, and see the very person I’d been searching for has snuck up on ME…. That’s so unfair!
“W-what? O-oh! Nothing! I was just- uh, admiring the pottery?”
I stutter out as I try to recall how to act like a human being while simultaneously trying to stop feeling my own pulse in my ears. The idiot has the nerve to LAUGH! Full on snort and everything!
“What are you doing in this wing anyways? Weren’t you meant to be out riding today?”
Shit. I was so busy trying to figure out his schedule, I didn’t consider maybe the body I was shoved into had a schedule of her own. Ok. Play it cool- I’ve got this!
“Yes, well, I decided I wasn’t in the mood and wanted to stay in today instead.”
His brows furrow
“Oh, but you love riding? Are you feeling ill? I can fetch the royal physician for you if you-“
“No! That’s- that’s quite alright! I simply wanted a change of schedule, that is all. Um… what about you? What are your plans for the day?”
He looked a bit surprised at that, and a small smile danced on his lips.
“I was just going to the library to do some paperwork, boring stuff really, and then of course our dinner at its regular time.”
I nod like that means anything to me. Ok think, if I were crazy in love with this man, what would I say?
“Would you like some company? Reading in the library sounds really nice, maybe we could have some tea as well?”
Ok. I’m already fucking this up. He looks confused…. God damnit …. I knew I shouldn’t have skimmed over those early chapters- but the translation was shit ok!?
“Well… I’d actually love that. But are you sure? You haven’t exactly shown interest in reading, and you’ve never requested something like this before…. In fact I don’t think I can recall the last time we’ve interacted outside of dinner or a scheduled social event in… well. Ever.”
Wait…. What? Isn’t my character like goo-goo-ga-ga over him? Are you telling me she never asks to just… spend time with her lover? They only talk during dinner and parties or whatever?
“Of course, I think it’ll be relaxing! Just lead the way!”
My brain is working overtime as I smile politely at him as we reach the library and I pretend to browse for books. I’m missing something here. What is-
Oh. Shit. That’s right. I’m supposed to be really insecure and awkward about him. That’s why she stalks him- she spends all her free time obsessing over this man from the shadows, threatening the competition…. Yet chokes up when it comes to how to act natural. Her inferiority complex is what drives her entire character. And then to him, they’re just two nobles in an arranged marriage who speak on dull subjects like the weather and horse rides…. And who barely interact.
This must have been a real big shake up, she always stays out of sight, they never run into each other by chance. And she certainly never would ask to sit and read with him…. Maybe watch him do his work from a hidden keyhole somewhere, but that’s right…. She IS more of a traditional lady with her hobbies. She was raised to be the perfect noble wife, so naturally, her hobbies include things like dancing, needlepoint, and horse riding. The only studies she’s interested in are etiquette and things that noble ladies are supposed to know.
Well…. Shit. That’s so like me to already have fucked this up. But that’s ok. That’s ok- he’s going to meet the female lead and fall in love and so I just have to be the obstacle they need to overcome. Surely the details don’t matter too much…. It’s my first day in the job ok? Not everyone’s perfect!
I find a book that honestly actually sounds interesting, it’s historical, but it’s giving Hellen of Troy, the closest to a dark romance I think I’ll get from an academic personal library like this. I settle into what looks like the comfiest chair in the central area, and begin reading. The prince and I exist comfortably, the only sound being the scratch of his pen, and the occasional rustle of paper as he flips a document or I finish a page. We continue like this for several hours until he puts down his pen and clears his throat, getting my attention.
“I know it’s a long way from dinner…. But I was thinking I’d grab something light for a mid day meal and then take a walk about the gardens …. Would you care to join me?”
Honestly, some lunch and pretty royal gardens sounds like so much fun, so I agree. As we begin walking, I ponder how I can recover from all this.
You know what.. this can totally still go to plan. This is just me being the evil villain and sinking my claws into him! The female lead will appear, and I’ll reveal my true, nasty side to her! She’ll have to fight to save the prince from his marriage to me!
*insert evil laughter!*
“You’re smiling.”
“W-what?”
“A smile. It suits you. You’ve been doing that a lot today….. I like it.”
Ok and now I’m blushing. I go to reply when I suddenly find myself weightless for a moment, and then hit the ground with a hard thump.
“Ow! What the-!?”
My eyes snap up and glare at this pretty blonde girl who just rammed into me, and sent me flying
“Do you not know how to watch where you’re going!? Owww…. Ugh.”
Ok I’m sorry I’m usually a nice and understanding person but I’ve never been literally knocked over before! Who does that to a person?
Eric helps me to my feet and sends a reproachful glare toward the girl, asking me if I’m alright with most concerned look…. And the girl gasps and says,
“C-crown prince Eric! I apologize! I’d didn’t recognize you!”
She drops into a curtsy and lowers her eyes all demure and modest as if she hadn’t just bulldozed me. I send an incredulous look toward Eric…. She… didn’t see HIM? I’m the one she took out? He gives me an equally puzzled look and so I decide, you know what, fuck it. I’m this evil person in this world…. I need to act like it!
“And not recognizing his highness is an excuse for taking out the princess consort, soon to be crown princess? Are you blind or just daft?”
Oh my god I really just called someone daft! This feels like when you stay up late thinking all the witty comebacks you could’ve used against your high school bullies, except actually using them in the moment!
And Eric is being a sweetie and letting me handle this, waiting expectantly for blondie to answer me, just prompting her,
“Well?”
“Forgive me…. Princess consort…. You are right. My oversight in inexcusable. It appears neither of us were looking where we were going. I hope we can start fresh!”
I scoff- that’s it? Who does this bitch think she is? Yes, I was looking at Eric, but I was going a walking pace, who rounds a corner with so much force that you knock someone over?
Suddenly something clicks- oh shit! This is the female lead!!!! This scene happened in the story, just without the prince here. This is good, that means this is on track. Although I gotta say- I was much more on the female main characters side when reading it. Now, I just feel like she’s one of those mean girls in high school who’s not *technically* doing anything mean. Anyways- what was I supposed to say? That’s right.
“Yes…. Well. I’m sure we won’t be seeing much of each other anyways. If you’ll excuse me-“
Nailed ittttt…. Now her line?
“Well, actually…. My name is Lady Cressida, and I’ll be staying in the place for several months as my father is a foreign ambassador overseeing trade agreements with his highness the king. So I imagine we will be seeing *plenty* of each other. That goes for you too your highness! So please- forgive me, I look forward to getting to know each of you better!”
Oh that’s so cool, seeing her recite the lines from the story. But ok- I have a role to play as well. I scoff and grab Eric’s arm, pulling him behind me as I storm off, playing the part of entitled lover, stuck up and irritated at this ambassadors daughter who DARED to speak to my love.
Yea, this will work, Eric will think Cressida is a genuine sweetie, and see me as being the unreasonable bitch who’s refusing to accept her apology, or apologize for not looking where I was going either. And now I’m manhandling him- totally unlady like. God I’m killing this aren’t I? Minimum wage job and demanding cat, here I come!
What I don’t see, as I lead Eric by the arm, is the cold glare he shoots towards Cressida, before smiling down at our connected hands, an unreadable look in his eyes.
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Part 2
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fastandcarlos · 1 month ago
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Pregnant Pranks : ̗̀➛ Lewis Hamilton
summary: lewis loves to mess with you, but messing with a pregnant lady unleashes a whole new world of fury
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Your eyes widened in horror as you walked into the kitchen, opening up the cupboard you scanned the shelf, unable to find the jar of gherkins that you had placed that earlier in the day after your shop. 
“Lewis!” You shouted through the house, watching him walk through with a mischievous smile etched upon his face. “Where are they?” You asked, knowing this had his name all over it. 
It had been a bit of a thrill for Lewis to keep you on your toes during your pregnancy, he loved winding you up and testing how far he could push you with all your hormones. Most days you ended up being on the end of some sort of prank whilst Lewis tried his best to keep you positive. 
If you asked Lewis, the worst thing about your pregnancy was your cravings. The smells that travelled through your house were disgusting to say the least, with Lewis often walking around having to pinch his nose. 
“Don’t look at me like that,” you warned, placing your hand over the top of your bump. “I know you don’t like them, but getting rid of them isn’t the way to go about this.” 
Lewis’ head nodded as you noticed him looking above your head and into the cupboard. He could feel you staring across at him, tapping your foot on the floor as you impatiently waited for some sort of answer from him.  
Whilst you stood in annoyance, Lewis couldn’t help but smile, watching as you glanced completely unaware of just how close what you wanted was actually to you. 
“What are you looking for?” Lewis questioned, closing the distance between the two of you, placing his hands on your shoulders. 
“You know what I’m looking for,” you frowned, hitting your hand against his chest. “Do you get some sort of sick kick out of tormenting pregnant people?” 
The more Lewis smiled down at you, the more irritated you became. You didn’t ask for much, all you wanted was for him to tolerate the one thing that you needed to satisfy your cravings. 
“One day I’m going to get you back for all of this, you better sleep with one eye open,” you challenged, only to be greeted by even more laughter from Lewis. 
He leant forwards and pressed a kiss to your stomach, moving his hands to rest against your bump. “The baby doesn’t feel as if they want any of that stinky food right now.” 
“I’m telling you they want it,” you bluntly responded, patience running thin. “So, before I go and smash one of your cars up, can you tell me where they are please?” 
“Do you really think I believe you’d do such a thing?” 
You tried your best to keep your gaze looking serious, but Lewis knew you so well knowing that you would never even dream of doing such a thing, especially when you loved his car so much too. 
“Stop smiling, this isn’t funny,” you groaned, turning around to look again. 
“It is a tad,” Lewis smiled as you went up onto your tiptoes, trying to get a better look in the cupboard. 
You followed Lewis’ eyes once more, catching the shine of the gherkin jar hanging off the very top shelf. Your eyes went wide as you stretched up as tall as you possibly could, trying your best to swat the jar off of the shelf. Each time you failed, groaning when you placed your feet back down again. 
“You’ve had your laugh; now can you get them please?” You politely asked Lewis, “I cannot even begin to tell you how badly I’m craving these. I’ll even go and eat them in the garden Lewis.” 
“Why do you even crave them? They’re disgusting,” he frowned, shaking his head across at you but still keeping stuck to his spot, watching you closely. 
As he smiled with delight you decided to change your tactics, knowing you could play his game too. You grabbed one of the dining chairs and lined it up with the front of the cupboard, making sure that it aligned perfectly with the small sighting of the jar you had. 
“I guess I’ll just get it myself then,” you told yourself, placing one hand on the chair and one on the counter. 
Lewis continued to watch you without much of a care, but as you went to lift your foot up and place it on the chair to push yourself up, Lewis grabbed a hold of your hips and placed you on the other side of the room. 
“I’ve got it,” he quickly told you, reaching up with ease and taking the jar from the shelf, handing it across to you. “Were you really going to stand on a chair to get that down?” 
Your shoulders shrugged back at him, “I wasn’t messing when I told you how bad I was craving them. I’d go to some pretty extreme lengths when it comes to pregnancy cravings love.” 
“You can’t be doing things like that to me babe.” 
You unscrewed the lid and grabbed a fork from the cutlery drawer, quickly beginning to tuck in. Lewis’ face squirmed as he watched you start eating, unable to stop himself from judging you. Your face lit up at the delicious taste, sniggering at the look of disgust that Lewis wore instead. 
“I guess we can both play that game,” Lewis smiled as he grabbed a chair and placed it next to you for you to sit down. “Maybe it’s about time that I let you relax a little bit more whilst your pregnant.” 
“Did I scare you then?” 
“Of course,” he laughed, as if it were obvious. “I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if you climbed up onto that chair and something happened, all because I wanted to try and play a stupid prank on you.” 
You were only half listening as you continued to munch on the gherkins, extending the jar to Lewis, offering one, only for his head to shake, swatting you away. 
“You’ve had some pretty good pranks over the past few months, I’ll give you that one,” you told him, “but if there’s one kind of person that you definitely don’t mess with, it’s a pregnant lady.” 
“I’ve learnt that the hard way,” Lewis smiled, taking a seat opposite you. “I don’t think my heart has quite calmed down yet from the fear of thinking that you’d go up there.” 
You couldn’t help but smile knowing that you’d given Lewis a little taste of his own medicine, for all the games he tried to play with you, there was only one number one mastermind in your relationship, and that was you. 
He had plenty in the bank after spending years winding his family up, but soon he would have a new target for all his pranks, looking forward to joking with your baby. He couldn’t wait to mess with them, embarrass them and be as annoying as possible, just like how he was with you. 
“I thought you said you were going to eat those in the garden anyway,” Lewis smiled, feeling your eyes narrow in on him, shooting a glare. 
“If anyone should be out in the garden, it’s you,” you challenged, “I’m going nowhere now that I’ve finally got my hands on these.” 
“You’re going to make me suffer that smell, aren’t you?” 
“Absolutely, and I’m going to love doing it too.” 
˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗
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heavenangelly · 5 months ago
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Knowing everything about the law but not being able to apply it/manifest
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The lotus: The lotus flower symbolizes rising from a dark place into beauty and rebirth, as this is precisely how a lotus flower grows. The lotus symbolizes the human Spiritual potential of transformation to the True (Divine) Self. -Google
I’m sure some of the people in this community, myself included, have learnt everything there is to possibly know about the law. You may even have notes and screenshots. But regardless of this, you just cannot apply. You want to change but you stay the same.
Why is this?
1. You lack belief in yourself. You love reading the posts, getting the short burst of motivation, getting ready to apply and change self, and then deflate when you see the 3d. So you consume and consume to get that feeling again, only to fall into the same cycle. You don’t think you can do it and you place the 3d on the pedestal, thinking that it is more real than imagination. You put your desires above you, hopeless that you’ll ever get them.
2. You don’t feel the burning desire to change; to be different. Some people may be lukewarm about their desires. They want it but they don’t want it enough to do something about it. Personally, when I want something really bad, I’d do anything in my power to have it. I’m burning with passion to get it, and in this case it would be to accept it and stay in that state. You have to want to be different. You have to feel like you’re burning with need to get what you want. You have to really want it. And this will act like a final push. You’d be dedicated and passionate about it. And if you’re not like that, if you are lukewarm, reevaluate why you want that thing. Fall back in love with it and actually having it instead of seeing it above you and unattainable.
3. Do you actually want it? You may feel a little resistance or dread towards your “desire” because it’s not something you actually want. It may be something that society has made you think you want. Go deep within and ask yourself if that’s actually something you want. Spend some time with yourself and see if it resonates with you, If you burn with passion for it. It doesn’t matter if society says you need it, this is YOUR reality and you decide if you need it or not.
How do I get out of this cycle?
1. Create a formula for how you’re going to manifest your desires. Take a few screenshots of your absolute favourite posts (5 posts maximum) that will remind you of how the law works and possibly motivate you. Put those in a note along with your formula
2. Now that you have created that, GET OFF OF TUMBLR. Do NOT consume anymore content. You know this shit. If you really need to, reread your screenshots and formula.
3. Constantly go back to your screenshots and formula if you doubt. If you have any questions, try to answer them yourself. You do know the law after all.
4. Try to have an end goal in mind. Like a routine you do everyday regarding manifestation or a time frame that will help you stay disciplined and motivated (but DO NOT focus too much on these things, focus more on fulfilment.) Do methods or anything you want, as long as you feel FULFILMENT it doesn’t matter what you do.
5. Have FUN. Do not make the law a chore for you. It’s so fun if you do the things you love and actually want to manifest and are dedicated to getting what you want, regardless of everything.
Reminder: Failure doesn’t exist. You can only “fail” if you stop persisting.
I really hope this post helped some of you, and I hope you take this to heart. You don’t have to live a life of cycles anymore if you don’t want to. Remember, you always choose what state you’re in. You’re always choosing to be something, to continue being something, to manifest something. Become unstoppable and undefeatable. You deserve this. I believe in you, now believe in yourself.
Now become like the lotus flower.
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whumptober · 1 year ago
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Whumptober 2023
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Welcome to Whumptober 2023 — the sixth year running!
COMPLETIONISTS/PARTICIPANT BADGES CAN BE FOUND HERE
To those of you who participated last year, welcome back! To everyone joining this year, welcome!
Please make sure to read the Event Info carefully, as most of your questions will be answered there already. For everything else, you are welcome to come to our ask box or ask questions in our Discord server here.
This year’s AO3 Collection can be found here.
And this years playlist can be found here.
There are 139 prompt options in total this year - this is including the alternatives list! A special thanks goes out to those who took part in our trope vote back in July. From the 1526 responses to our list of 223 tropes, we looked through the popularity results, as well as your honourable mentions, and were able to produce this years prompts list. Stay tuned, as we will be posting some of the results at a later date!
We’re very excited to see the community come together once more and be a wild, chaotic bunch of creators and consumers of whump. Go wild with the prompts, and support your fellow creators - we wish you all the fun!
Best of luck and happy whumping,
Mods Vanne, Yenn, Kitty and Surro
(All 31 Themes + Prompts, Event Information and FAQs are posted below the cut!)
Whumptober 2023 Prompt List
No. 1: “But now this room is spinning while I’m trying just to fill in all the gaps.”
Safety Net | Swooning | “How many fingers am I holding up?”
No. 2: “I’ll call out your name, but you won’t call back.”
Thermometer | Delirium | “They don't care about you.”
No. 3: “Like crying out in empty rooms; with no-one there except the moon.”
Journal | Solitary Confinement | “Make it stop.”
No. 4: “I see the danger, It’s written there in your eyes.”
Cattle Prod | Shock | “You in there?”
No. 5: “You better pray I don't get up this time around.”
Debris | Pinned Down | “It's broken.”
No. 6: “Do or die, you’ll never make me; Because the world will never take my heart.”
Recording | Made to Watch | “It should have been me.”
No. 7: " “I paced around for hours on empty; I jumped at the slightest of sounds.”
Alleyway | Radio Silence | “Can you hear me?”
No. 8: “I’ve got soul, but I’m not a soldier.”
Overcrowded ER | Outnumbered | “It’s all for nothing.”
No. 9: “Learning everything ain't what it seems, that's the thing about these days.”
Polaroid | Mistaken Identity | “You're a liar.”
No. 10: “Can’t you see that you’re lost without me?”
Broken Phone | Stranded | “You said you'd never leave.”
No. 11: “All the lights going dark and my hope’s destroyed.”
Animal trap | Captivity | “No one will find you.”
No. 12: “I haven't slept in days but who's counting?”
Red | Insomnia | “I’m up, I’m up.”
No. 13: “It comes and goes like the strength in your bones.”
Cold Compress | Infection | “I don’t feel so good.”
No. 14: “Feed me poison, fill me ‘till I drown.”
Flare | Water Inhalation | “Just hold on.”
No. 15: “I don't need you to help me I can handle things myself.”
Makeshift Bandages | Suppressed Suffering | “I’m fine.”
No. 16: “Would you lie with me and just forget the world?”
Gurney | Flatline | “Don’t go where I can’t follow.”
No. 17: “You’re the lump in my throat and the knot in my chest.”
Collar | Touch Aversion | “Leave me alone.”
No. 18: “I tend to deflect when I’m feeling threatened.”
Blindfold | Tortured For Information | “Hit them harder.”
No. 19: “I’ll take one final step, all you have to do is make me.”
Floral Bouquet | Psychological | “I’m not as stupid as you think I am.”
No. 20: “People don’t change people, time does.”
Blanket | Found Family | “You will regret touching them.”
No. 21: “See the chains around my feet.”
Vows | Restraints | “Don't move.”
No. 22: “They never saw us coming, ‘til they hit the floor.”
Glass Shard | Vehicular Accident | “Watch out!”
No. 23: “It’s gonna get me by the end of the night.”
Shadows | Stalking | “Who’s there?”
No. 24: “I’ve got a head full of chemicals; mouth full of ridicule.”
Goodbye Note | Neglect | “I thought they were with you.”
No. 25: “You’re not delivering a perfect body to the grave.”
Storm | Buried Alive | “They’re not breathing!”
No. 26: “Sometimes I get so tired; I don’t even know myself.”
Seeing Double | Working To Exhaustion | “You look awful.”
No. 27: “You drew stars around my scars; But now I’m bleeding.”
Matches | Scars | “Let me see”
No. 28: “We might not make it to the morning; so go on and tell me now.”
Bloody Knife | Sacrifice | “You'll have to go through me.”
No. 29: “I only sink deeper the deeper I think.”
Scented Candle | Troubled Past Resurfacing | “What happened to me?”
No. 30: “It’s okay, just to say, ‘I’m not okay’.”
Borrowed Clothing | Bridal Carry | “Not much longer...”
No. 31: “I thought that I was getting better.”
Emptiness | Setbacks | “Take it easy.”
Alternatives List:
Betrayal
Aftermath of Failure
Brass Knuckles
Decoy
Body Modification
Playing Cards
Examination
Hunting
Drugging
Shaking
Panic
Broken
Miscommunication
Lab Rat
Reluctant Whumper
Event Info & Rules
~ Please read our extensive event info posts before sending us an ask ~
WHUMPTOBER is a month-long, prompt-based creation challenge (think: Inktober, but whumpier). There are 31 official themes this year - one for each day of the month - which can be used, skipped, or combined in any way you’d like. The 'theme' of each day is the line of lyrics.
The prompts are merely to serve as inspiration without being taken literally (e.g. you don’t have to include the exact wording of prompts into your work). Feel free to run rampant on interpretation. For example, if the prompt is "flame", you could create something with reference to a candle/campfire, your character could have suffered a burn, or the flame could be related to the 'spark' of a relationship. It's truly up to you!
In total, there are 4 prompts for each day: there's lyrics, an object, a trope and a line of dialogue to choose from.  We want to give everyone as much creative freedom as possible, as well as increase event accessibility for folks with triggers and squicks.
Creators can PRODUCE work in any media they choose, including but not limited to: writing, visual artwork, photo/video/audio edits, paper crafts and elaborate recommendation lists (not just a list of links). Creators can PARTICIPATE as much or as little as they want (i.e. you don’t have to do ALL the prompts if you don’t want to) and prompts can be used in any order. They are also free to use even after the event ends.
When uploading Whumptober content to your blog, be sure to tag the with:
#whumptober2023 …..(the event tag)
#no.1, #no.2, #no.3, …..(day number)
#lyric, #bruises, #stabbing,  …..(the theme or specific prompt you chose)
#fandom or #OC, … (ironman, originalcontent, oc …)
#medium …..(gifs, fic, podcast, art, etc.)
#teeth, #gore tw, #etc …..(trigger warnings & any additional tags. Add "tw" AFTER the trigger/content warning. )
#nsfwhump …..(only for nsfw content)
#your own tags go here
PLEASE BE DILIGENT WITH YOUR TAGGING. Only properly tagged posts are considered for archiving on the official @whumptober-archive blog. They must be tagged in the order above. An elaborate post about our tagging system can be found [here]
Unfortunately, due to the sheer number of participants in recent years, we cannot guarantee your work will be archived. A random selection of properly tagged posts from all genres will be reblogged each day.
Whumpers who produce content for 31 total theme days are considered event completionists and will be tagged in a masterpost at the end of the month. A form will be published at the beginning of November asking you to tell us if you completed the event. You do not need to post anything you have created, we rely on trust and we will not check this.
Questions not addressed in one of our many event info posts can be directed to this blog. We will not answer any questions that have been answered in the FAQs or rules already.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q. How does this year’s prompt list work? What do I have to choose?
You can create something based on:
The overall theme/lyric of the day
Prompt 1, 2 or 3
One or several of the alternative prompts
A combination of the above
Q. Is [specific anything] allowed?
When in doubt: JUST DO IT!
Q. Do I have to do all 31 days?
Participate as much or little as you like! Just be sure to tag your posts properly (ex. #no.7, #radio silence). If you create works for 31 total theme days you will become a completionist. But apart from that, there are no repercussions if you don’t fill prompts for each day.
Q. Can I post early/late?
Yes, you can post whenever you want. We will only reblog posts during October, but you can use our prompts all year round. The day you post will only affect your probability of being reblogged.
Q. Will you reblog my post?
Due to the sheer number of content posted during Whumptober we can’t promise to reblog every single post. We will make a random selection trying to capture a wide variety of content. The following will increase your chances at being reblogged:
tag your post properly
post within 2-3 days of the theme you want to fill: if you fill the prompt for Day 1 your chances of being reblogged during October 1st to 3rd are highest and will go towards zero afterwards.
Q. What if I don’t understand a prompt/theme?
Send us an ask! We’re happy to help with wild, unhelpful clarifications or brainstorming. That being said, the themes are entirely up for interpretation. Don’t take them too literally. For example: You can be choking on a cherry, someone else can choke you or you could be choked up on emotions, etc.
Q. What kind of content can I make? Can it be NSFW?
This is a MIXED MEDIA event! You can write fic, post meta, doodle or paint, create a gifset or photo edit, link a song, or get crafty with video - anything goes. As for NSFW, make what you like, we just hope that you’ll tag your work accordingly so that others participating in the event can stay safe.
Q. Can I combine Whumptober with other creation challenges?
Absolutely, as long as the other challenges allow it too.
Q. Can I upload/repost my Whumptober content to other social media platforms?
Of course! You can post your own content wherever you like (or you can opt to not publish it at all). Additionally we’ve created an AO3 Collection to archive any fics posted there. It can be accessed here. The tumblr blog @whumptober-archive is the official archive, so please respect the boundaries of any closeted whumpers in your social circle.
Q. Can I use prompts to write a new chapter for an existing fic?
Yes.
Q. An existing fic I am currently writing contains many of the Whumptober prompts, can I use it?
If you are actively writing this fic at the moment with the Whumptober prompts in mind, yes. If you’ve previously posted something that checks the boxes, we ask that you not include it retroactively for this current year. You can, however, add new chapters relating to one or more of the prompts.
Q. What kind of characters can I write for?
Fandom characters, OC characters, human, furry, alien, cyborg, RPF, whoever you like. You can use the generic “whumpee” character or have specific ones.
Q. Does it have to take place in a specific fandom?
No, you can create works for your own worlds or for fandoms or for both. You can also create more generic or pan-fandom works. You can do cross-overs or use OCs, whatever you want.
Q. Can I use a prompt multiple times?
Yes, but it only counts once towards being a completionist.
Q. If I’m not comfortable with one day’s prompts can I use a prompt of a different day as a substitute and still be a completionist?
No, you can’t exchange prompts for different days. However, if all four prompts of a specific day make you uncomfortable, we have created an alternate prompts list that you can draw from. You can exchange any prompt with these, but please make sure not to use them twice.
Q. Where can I post my work?
Post where and how you want. You don’t have to (cross)post it to Tumblr or at all. Just keep in mind if it’s not on Tumblr we will not be able to add it to the blog archive.
Q. Can I start posting early?
You can, but this is an October event and wouldn’t it be more fun with everyone doing it at the same time? That being said, you can post early, but we won’t be reblogging any work predating October 1st.
Q. Do I have to finish a fic I started/can I post WIP’s?
Yes you can post WIPs. And you’re not obligated to finish it in October for it to count towards being a completionist.  
Q. Is co-writing allowed?
Yes, absolutely, and it would count towards being a completionist for both/all of you.
Q. Do I have to create 31 standalone pieces to be considered a completionist or can I write one continuous story?
One continuous story is fine.  The challenge is to write something for 31 prompts. If that’s spread over 31 fics or just one, you are still considered a completionist. (The same goes for every other media you choose.)
Q. Is there a min/max limit on word count?
There is no limit.
Q. Can I combine prompts? Is there a limit on how many?
No limit and combine as many as you’d like.
Q. Is a hc/angst/emotional whump focus ok?
Of course! We are not going to establish a threshold for whumpiness. If you think it’s whumpy enough, then it’s whumpy enough. It can be physical, psychological, emotional, or any combination of the three.
Q. What’s considered nsfw?
See this post
Q. What is whump?
Typically the genre includes situations where a fictional character is hurt, be it emotionally, psychologically, or physically. Fanlore provides information here.
Q. My interpretation of the prompt isn’t whumpy at all, does that count?
If you don’t think your interpretation is whumpy, then it doesn’t count for Whumptober. Remember that whump comes in many forms, though, and that we don’t have a whump-checker or a threshold for how much whump needs to be included. If you think your interpretation contains enough whump to count, then it does.
Q. Can I start working on the prompts before October?
Absolutely! That’s why we post the prompts a month in advance. We recognise how difficult it can be creating for 31 days in “real time” so feel free to start creating early!
Q. How do I tag triggers?
tw at the end of the word, ex. #gore tw
Q. Do I have to use your tags?
Yes, if you want your work archived on the blog. If not, feel free to use whatever tags you want. 
Q. Does combining prompts count towards completion?
Yes
Q. Can we @ you?
Yes but we mostly rely on the #whumptober2023 tag.
Q. Is there anything we are absolutely not allowed to write?
There are no rules, but please make sure to properly tag your trigger warnings. And keep in mind Tumblr’s policies if you are posting it here (or the policies for whatever site you use).
Q. Where can I go for brainstorming help?
Here on Discord or come into our ask box.
Q. My characters are minors, is that ok?
Yes, but as with everything else, use clear and descriptive tags.
Q. Can I cross post on other blogs?
Yes, multiple platforms and blogs are perfectly acceptable. You can also post different works to different accounts under different names, without posting them everywhere at once.
Note: This is a creation challenge, please don’t repost your old work under our tags (unless it’s been changed or edited for the event).
Thanks for reading, and happy whumping!
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neil-gaiman · 6 months ago
Note
This isn’t a question, but I want to thank you for your books and how they’ve impacted my life.
Over thirteen years ago, I read Neverwhere for the first time and it changed what kind of writer I wanted to be. I went on to read more of your books—my other two favourites were The Graveyard Book and The Ocean at the End of the Lane.
About 11 or so years ago, I asked you on Twitter if I could read Stardust on a Twitch livestream, and you responded, “Fine by me”. It was one of my best streams, and while life got in the way of me doing more, I still remember it incredibly fondly.
Ten years ago I had a baby, and while he was an infant, I read him, Fortunately, the Milk, in an attempt to read him a book. He didn’t seem interested. I decided I’d try again some other time perhaps. But I did resolve to get him to read The Graveyard Book someday.
Nine years ago, when I was a mother of a one-year-old, I posted a status on Facebook simply saying, “We do not forget.”
Two years ago, I went on holiday, and I downloaded the audio book version of The Graveyard Book from our local library. My eight-year-old son listened to it as he fell asleep, though he ended up missing some parts, and we shelved it.
Last year, he read Coraline and didn’t like it. That isn’t your fault. He read Charlotte’s Web and didn’t like that either. He just didn’t quite have the understanding for them.
This year, he read Coraline and liked it. I told him it was from the same author as The Graveyard Book. He lamented that he never finished The Graveyard Book, and I said he could always download it from the library again.
Then about a month ago, he and I went through a tough time. I was really stressed about life, he wasn’t doing so well either, and our relationship got strained. I was angry with him all the time. I needed a break from him, or I thought I did. But one day when he was at his dad’s I realised that I wouldn’t get this time back. That I needed to fix it. So I asked him if he wanted me to read to him at bedtime. Just like when he was little. And we settled on The Graveyard Book.
On nights when he got to bed on time, I’d read a chapter. It often meant stretching past bedtime, but I could never stop halfway. It had been years since I’d read it too, and I found myself remembering things I’d forgotten. I’d watch his dark eyes widen whenever things got exciting, and I loved when he would interrupt me with an important revelation. “It’s Scarlett! His friend!” he’d say. “The dog! The grey dog!” “I know what Silas is!” He would tell me that I did the voices so well, that it seemed to match each character so perfectly.
We didn’t read every night, but it was a treat when we did. One night we had an argument and he told me he hated me. That he wished I was dead. And that he wanted to be with his dad. I told him to go take a shower, and that I’d ask his dad to come get him. His dad said no, but agreed to talk to him on the phone. After the shower, my son apologised for what he said. I said okay, and told him to call his dad to chat. After their call, he asked if we would still have story time. I asked if he preferred that or to have some space. He said he wanted both, but wanted story time more than space. So I read to him. It was the chapter when Bod and Silas argued, and then apologised to each other. Halfway through that chapter, my son asked for snuggles. I said, what happened to space? And he said, “I want snuggles more than space.”
We were sad when it ended. We finished it last weekend. I cried as I read it. But it was a beautiful sadness. We’ve talked about it a bit since then, to process it. He says he would like to read more about Silas and Bod’s adventures and asked if there was fan fiction about it. I told him to look, and to write some if there wasn’t. Perhaps I’ll write some too, just for him.
Last night he was at his dad’s and I was browsing Facebook and sent him a couple of his old pictures. Then I found an old post. From exactly nine years ago. And so I sent it to him.
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It brought tears to my eyes. I did not remember making that post, and I’ve forgotten a great deal over the years, but I hope I do not forget these little moments with my son. But even if I do, I have them written down here to remind me again.
And thank you. For the words you’ve written and the impact you’ve had on our lives and hearts. I hope that your life holds the same amount of joy and love that you’ve given to others with your words.
That made me so happy. Thank you. I hope you and your son keep growing together.
1K notes · View notes
maxtermind · 2 months ago
Note
“your opinion of me won't change, right?” + lando (who kinda has a fuckboy reputation but fell for the reader)
“your opinion of me won't change, right?”
( event masterlist \ main masterlist \ drop a request ) ★:summary:: the one where a fuckboy gets turned into a loverboy? ★:feat:: lando norris x reader ★:genre:: hurt/comfort
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the knock on your door comes around midnight when you're almost going to bed. you don’t expect anyone, especially not him.
for a second, you stand still, unsure of what to do with heart thudding. but the persistent rapping doesn’t stop, and despite the days of silence between you two, you already know who it is.
when you swing the door open, lando stumbles in, his shoulders slumped, eyes clouded with alcohol and something darker. his hair is a mess, damp from the rain, and he reeks of whiskey and regret.
“y/n,” he breathes out, almost as if he’s relieved to see you. but you’re not relieved at all. you’re angry, confused, and hurt and looking at him really hit you so hard that you had to squeeze the ends of your his t-shirt to not stumble.
you close the door behind him, and he sways unsteadily. he’s drunk—drunker than you’ve ever seen him. his clothes are disheveled, his usual cool confidence replaced by something pitiful, something raw.
"lando, what the hell are you doing here?" your voice is sharp, meant to sting, because his presence alone already rips at the wounds that haven't even started healing yet.
he doesn’t answer right away. instead, he looks at you with those familiar blue eyes, the same ones that once made you weak in the knees, but now… they just bring back the pain. his lips tremble as if he’s about to say something, but he doesn’t.
"you—" lando slurs slightly, stepping forward, hands outstretched. "you weren't… supposed to leave. you—" it washed over you like a bucket of cold water and you're already moving away from his touch.
"don't." your voice cracks, and you hate how fragile you sound. you take another step back, putting more space between you two. "don’t come here like this again."
lando rubs his face, pacing around your small living room slowly, stumbling over air. he’s spiraling, trying to collect his thoughts, but the alcohol muddles his brain and you can see the struggle on his face.
“i didn’t mean to… i didn’t want you to leave,” he mutters. he turns to you, desperation in his eyes. "i messed up, okay? i know that. but i… fuck, i’m trying, y/n."
you cross your arms, every muscle tense. "trying? you’re drunk, lando. that’s not trying."
his face crumples at your words, and he stumbles back, this time collapsing onto the couch like his legs can’t hold him up anymore. his hands run through his hair, pulling at it in frustration, in agony.
you vividly remember what happened a few nights ago when a girl texted him asking if he was up for 'another' great night. it wasn't easy being with someone while knowing he could have anyone in the entire world and with his past, you were already always on the edge of letting your insecurities out.
it just led to a bigger argument where instead of assuring you how you were the only one he ever wanted, he asked you to either start trusting him or leave.
so you left.
"do you know how much i fucking hate myself?" his voice is hoarse now, barely above a whisper, but the rawness in it cuts through you like a knife as it brings you back to the present. "i tried to be better for you. i… i tried."
you swallow the lump forming in your throat, trying to stay firm, but it’s hard. it's always been hard with him. "you have a funny way of showing it."
he lifts his head slowly, tears brimming in his eyes now, and the sight is enough to make your resolve crack just a little. you've never seen him cry before. not like this.
“your opinion of me won’t change, right?” his voice breaks, and you freeze. the vulnerability in his question sends a jolt of pain straight to your chest. he sounds small, defeated, like the weight of everything he’s been carrying has finally crushed him.
“lando…” you whisper, but he doesn’t let you finish.
"because everyone else—" he pauses, taking in a shaky breath. "they all think they know me? that i’m just some… some asshole who doesn’t care, who’s not capable of… anything real? but i’m not. i’m not, y/n. you know that, right?"
the room feels heavy, like the air is thickening with every word. you want to say something, to tell him that you believed in him once, that you saw the good in him, the real lando, but it’s not that simple anymore.
"i fell for you," he says, voice trembling, eyes glistening as he stares up at you like you're the only thing that can save him. with the rapid blinking of his eyes, tears start to fall and so does your resolve. "i wish i didn’t put you through this, but i did. and i didn’t know how to be that guy… the one you deserved. but i tried. i’m still trying."
it’s quiet for a moment, just the sound of his ragged breathing and your heartbeat pounding in your ears.
you look at him, really look at him. his face is flushed from the alcohol and the tears, but beneath that, you see something more. he’s broken in ways you never let yourself see before.
all the cockiness, the bravado, the charm—it was all just a shield. he never thought he was good enough for you either, and maybe that’s why you left. you repeat it to yourself but it was a losing war.
the old lando wouldn’t be here, in front of you, crying and baring his soul. he wouldn’t have admitted any of this. isn't that reason enough to give him another chance?
he was selfish before, reckless, hiding behind his reputation as the playboy, the fun guy who never cared too deeply about anything. but now, now you see the cracks. you see the vulnerability he’s tried so hard to bury and it kills you to give in but the words leave you before you can stop yourself.
"i thought you didn’t care," you admit softly, feeling all your defenses start to crumble. "that’s why i left, lando. i didn’t think you could care."
"i fucking love you," he lets out a bitter laugh, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. not believing what you were saying at all. "i care too fucking much. i just… maybe i don’t know how to show it right."
you sigh, sitting down beside him on the couch, still keeping a little distance between you. "it’s not about showing it right. it’s about showing it at all."
he looks at you, his gaze softer now, more open. "i’m sorry. i know i’ve been… i know i fucked up. but i’m… i love you, y/n. i really fucking love you. and i didn’t know how much until you weren’t there."
his words hang in the air, and for the first time in weeks, you don’t feel anger or hurt. you just feel… sad. sad for him, sad for you, sad for all the misunderstandings that led you here.
you reach out, gently brushing a lock of his hair from his forehead. he closes his eyes at the touch, leaning into it like he’s starved for your touch. he probably is because so are you.
"i’ve changed," he murmurs, his voice thick with exhaustion. "i swear loving you has changed me."
you don’t respond right away. instead, you lean forward and press a soft, lingering kiss to his forehead. his skin is warm beneath your lips, and the simple gesture feels more intimate than anything you’ve ever shared before.
when you pull back, lando looks at you through heavy-lidded eyes, his emotions raw and exposed. "i love you too," he mumbles, his voice barely audible, like he’s falling asleep or slipping into a dream where things are better, where you’re together again.
you don’t know what’s going to happen next, or if you can really fix what’s broken between you. but for the first time in a long while, you feel like maybe… just maybe, you can try.
and maybe this time, it’ll be different.
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©maxtermind // do not copy, rewrite or translate any of my work on any platforms.
★:a/n:: thanks for the request love! feedback and reblogs are appreciated :3
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jmstoesblog · 8 months ago
Text
It’s not over
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Pairing: possessive! Ex-boyfriend! Jungkook x fem!reader
released: 15.03.24
Summary: Seems like the story with your ex was not over yet.
Warnings: smut, makeout, humping, fingering, dirty talk, little degradation, public sex, sex in the restroom, somebody hearing you two, he calls oc a bitch,
Wc: 2,200+
Note: this is my first time writing smut, let me know if I could do anything better. I wanna improve myself. Also the character “sehun” is not supposed to represent anybody. He’s just an imaginary character. I left the ending open cause I don’t know how to end it 😭 not proofread!!
Masterlist
——————————————————————————
“Thank you.” You smile at the boy, sehun, as he pulls out the chair for you.
You’re on a date with him. He’s your work friend who’s had a crush on you for a looongg time.
When he got to know you broke up with your ex- boyfriend—Jungkook— he could finally ask you out but you rejected him because you weren’t ready to be in a new relationship yet. After a few months— 3 exactly— you decided to give in and have one date with sehun.
He’s not really your type but you’re giving it a chance because, why not? Jungkook wasn’t your type either and you two dated for two and a half year.
Jungkook knows what he wants, he’s bold, can be a asshole sometimes, is a pervert, only thinks with his dick… and the list goes on.
But on the other hand he is very sweet, caring, funny and cute!
But dating him was…. different.
He is really possessive and gets jealous easily which results in you two having angry sex.
But you still loved him…… until he got too much and you decided you two are better off alone.
Jungkook was heartbroken and tried getting back with you but you stood your ground. He would buy you gifts and flowers. Come to your work at lunchtime and try to take you out. You remember one time it was raining like crazy and he was outside of your house on his knees, begging you to take him back, and promised to be better.
You were stubborn and didn’t give in because you knew he wouldn’t change.
A month ago he stopped all of this and finally left you alone. You’re not going to lie you do miss him but it’s better this way.
“So, what do you want to order?” Sehun sweetly smiles at you and holds your hand which is on the table.
You smile back and hope he doesn’t notice you’re uncomfortable with him touching you like that, “The steak sounds good. I think I’ll order that.”
“I heard the steak here is the best!” He smiles, you smile back. He has a cute smile!
After he placed both orders, he tried to start a conversation with you as you were not trying to bother to start one.
It hurt him because he knows you’re not like that. You talk a lot but he just assumed you were in a bad mood.
“I’m sorry, I just feel weird.” You apologize noticing his uneasy state.
“Why? What’s wrong?” He’s so sweet, you feel bad for behaving like that.
“It’s nothing, just a weird feeling.” He nods, not questioning you further.
After the drinks arrived, you gulped down the water and almost spit it all out.
Jungkook was here.
He was smirking when you looked at him with shock and fear in your eyes. He was sitting a few tables away from you.
He head skinny jeans on, hugging his thick thighs. He is wearing his usual combat boots, a black shirt with a leather jacket. He is wearing many jewelry’s like rings, chains, bracelets and not to forget his piercings. Silver hoops adorn his ear on both sides, his hair is parted in the middle and don’t hide his eyebrow piercing. Looking down you notice two lip rings. Oh god.
His smirks widens at you checking him out like that. He still has that effect on you.
“I-I need to use the bathroom.” You cut him off and leave, not waiting for a response.
You enter the bathroom and enter a stall.
“Shit! What do I do!? Why is he here?? Ugh!” You groan in frustration.
After a month of leaving you and giving you hope he’s leaving you alone, he comes back?!
The bathroom door gets opened and from under the stall you see…. black combat boots….. he whistles noticing the restroom is completely empty, except you hiding somewhere.
He whistles louder and opens the first stall door. Empty. He slams it back shut and opens the next one. Empty. He slams it back shut and opens the next one. Empty again. He slams it shut. He keeps going until he is in front of the stall in which you are in.
He whistles even louder.
“Oh, baby.” He laughs. “Open the door. Wanna talk to you.”
“No, are you crazy? You can’t just come into the ladies room like that!”
“Calm down, nobody’s here… except us, so open the door while I’m asking nicely.”
You take a deep breath and open the door, “Look, you have to go, we’re over.” You try to make him understand.
“You decided that! You didn’t give me any chance to prove myself! You just told me that right of the bat and left without hearing me out first!”
He takes a step closer, standing in the doorway now.
“You just gave up on our relationship— our love— like that! You didn’t give us a chance. You didn’t give me a chance to prove myself, I’ve changed!”
He takes another step.
“Why don’t we give us another chance?” He now speaks in a softer voice, trying to convince you. “I will forget about that little boy waiting outside, yeah baby?”
“If you choose to come with me now, all is forgotten baby. I’ll treat you dinner after that we go to my place and I’ll fuck the daylights out of you, yeah?”
You roll your eyes at him. “You’re only thinking with your dick right now, Jungkook!” You push him back. “I have had enough! I don’t want to be with you! Why can’t you understand!?” You yell at him.
He clicks his tongue, “i have had enough too, you know? You’re acting like a bitch right now, you know that? I’m trying to save our relationship and you’re acting like some stupid bitch.” He takes a step closer and closes the stall door with his foot.
He pulls you closer by your waist. “Why can’t you understand? It’s simple, I want you, you want me.”
“It’s not that simple. You act like a possessive controlling freak. And I’ve had enough of it.”
“I don’t want to be with yo—“
He slams you against the wall and smashes his lips against yours, kissing the life out of you. You try pushing him but he’s too strong.
“What do you even see in him, huh?” Jungkook mumbles against your lips, “bet he can’t even satisfy you,” he chuckles darkly, “can’t even protect you, like I do.” He kisses you again, “can’t make you laugh like I do.”
Your lips and his lips are swollen from all the kissing, he smirks at the sight, “you look so pretty,” he smiles, “you even dressed up…. for him.” His smile drops.
“It’s a date, did you expect me to come in sweatpants and a torn shirt?” You state the obvious, in a duh tone.
“No, I expected you to not come to this date at all. We’re not finished, how can you start dating after 4 months? Did the two and a half years mean nothing to you?” You can tell he’s hurt by your actions.
You feel……guilty?
You do love him, but it was getting too much for you.
“I changed. I really did, baby. Give me a chance and I’ll prove myself to you.” He sounds sincere.
He closes the space between you two and gently kisses you, holding your head in his large hands. This time you kiss back, lost in the pleasure.
He moves his head down and starts sucking on your neck. Soon his gentle sucking turns into harsh biting, you moan at the feeling. He makes sure to mark your whole neck, so everyone knows who you belong to. Especially sehun.
“Fuck,” Jungkook mutters, “you smell so good.” Jungkook come back up and pecks your lips before telling you to jump which you do. You wrap your legs around his waist and give him a squeeze, “want you.” You whine, Jungkook clicks his tongue, “oh? Now you want me?”
“You wanted me to beg, baby? Is that it?”
Your core is right above his hard cock. You start humping and moan in delight, “feels good, baby?” He chuckles into your ear.
He presses his hand firmly on your clothed pussy, “I can already feel you drippin’ for me.”
He slaps your count making you wince. He torns your panties, you gasp, “they were expensive!”
“Don’t worry I’ll buy you hundreds of them.” He mumbles before leaning in to kiss you. In the kiss he slaps your bare pussy causing you to gasp and grip his shoulders tighter, your arousal is on his hand.
He uses the opportunity to slide his tongue in your mouth and explore it. He sucks on your tongue and moans.
He circles your hole and abruptly pushes a finger in. He knows you like being fingered while he is wearing rings, sometimes it hurts but that adds to the pleasure. The mix of pain and pleasure is just too good.
You hide your face in his neck, “s- so good!” You moan, “yeah? You like that?” He says in a husky voice.
“You like it hard, don’t you? You filthy slut.” You whine at his words, getting more turned on. He sinks another finger in.
His wrist flicks up, fingers going in and out of you at a fast pace, “want more,” you bite his neck to quieten your moans, “more?” He asks you, you nod, “please.” You beg.
Jungkook likes being in control and having you beg for him, turns him on and boosts his ego.
“Please, what baby? What do you want?”
“Want you in me,” he leaves little kisses on the side of your face, “Yeah? want my cock in you?” He whispers in your ear.
You nod, your mouth parting from the pleasure. Jungkook chuckles at your state.
Just as you’re about to come, he pulls away, “I was about to,” you don’t finish your sentence as you whine. Jungkook lazily smiles, “I’m gonna give you something better.”
You unwrap your legs around him and stand on your own legs. He pushes his pants down along with his underwear after unzipping his pants. You drool at the sight of his hard, thick, veiny cock.
You drop to your knees, ready to suck him off. But Jungkook stops you, “As much as I would like to have my cock in your mouth, I don’t have the patience to wait anymore.”
He pulls you up by your shoulder and slams his cock into you, he swallows your moans and screams by kissing you. He doesn’t move, letting you adjust to his size.
“Fuck, baby! You’re so tight.”
He starts moving slow, letting you feel all of him. “Faster,” you plead.
He starts going faster and smacks your asscheek before groping it and giving it a good squeeze.
Meanwhile, sehun is sitting at the table wondering why you’re taking so long. He decides to look for you, “maybe she needs help? or something happened!?” He gasps, standing up and making his way to the restroom.
“Should I go in? No, I can’t.” He talks with himself.
Meanwhile you’re having one of the best fucks ever, Jungkook grips your chin and leans forward, pressing a kiss to your lips.
“Did she leave? No, no, her purse is still here.” Sehun talks with himself, earning glances from people but he doesn’t care, “is she taking a poop? That long?”
“Jungkook im sorry,” you apologize and he starts laughing, he throws his head back, “now you’re sorry? Once you get this cock your brain starts thinking? Aren’t you a pathetic little slut?”
You whine loud at his words. You know he doesn’t intend to hurt you with his words.
“Will you come back to me now?”
Tears start rolling down your tears, you nod. He smirks, “all it took was a fuck?” He laughs at you, mocking you.
“Y/n?” A gentle knock is heard.
You widen your eyes and jungkook doesn’t stop thrusting into you. He slowed down his pace tho.
“Y/n , are you in there? Are you okay? Did something happen?” Jungkook rolls his eyes at him and you shoot him a glare, before you’re able to speak Jungkook starts thrusting into you fast, skin clapping sounds resonating of the walls.
You moan loudly and sehun widens his eyes and quickly leaves. Not just the door but the restaurant.
He saw Jungkook earlier but thought it’s coincidence that your ex boyfriend is also here. But seeing him follow you after you went to the restroom was weird. He had a feeling something was fishy and he was right. Guess your story with your ex boyfriend didn’t end yet.
“That’s right, baby. Let him know who you belong to.” You moan louder, “good girl.” He praises you.
“Just like that. Good.” He grunts.
You’re too lost in all the pleasure, forgetting your ‘date’.
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Do NOT copy or translate
Thanks for reading 💕
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