#i have to figure out the end of the story so i can figure out the Pacing as well. which i cant really work on right now BUT maybe later
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DUDE I JUST PLAYED THROUGH THE GAME, WHY IS IT SO SADDDD😭😭😭
and why is he hot
Starling went through quite a few redesigns through the entire development process so let me talk about it a bit :3
It all started with this notes app drawing I made with my finger
Right from the start we knew his tail would be made out of tongues but figuring out how many and placed how was quite hard, I really had to girlmath my way thru
This was the first actual drawing I made of him. The story wasn't complete yet but I went ahead and designed something anyway. Here he was definitely "scarier" and his scar was also placed differently. He had gills on his neck but as you will see I changed their location to under his arms later on. We were actually considering not giving him a tongue of his own so I wanted to make his mouth terrifyingly big and empty.
Here I tried giving him bigger eyes like a fish. This was when his playful and childlike personality had started shaping as you can see from the expressions. I definitely liked this direction better but it also wasn't perfect just yet so I went ahead and did a few more changes
I slowed down on trying to figure out his design a bit after that and instead focused on how his sprite would look. He is a merman after all, he can't just stand straight like a lot of the other visual novel characters. This stage was PAINFUL.
These were the first ones I sketched, we ended up deciding we liked the 3rd one the best.
I carried that 3rd one over to another canvas and started playing around with how we could place his tail, we started entertaining the idea of having him sit on a big rock
This is when his pose really shaped up. The animated Little Mermaid movie was actually a big inspiration, I sat and rewatched the entire movie and studied how they animated her tail
And after that I finally finalized his design. We decided to change the end of his tail to be more eel like for aesthetic purposes (normal tail shape looked weird with tongues)
And for anyone wondering this is what Maelyn looked like at first. Since the story wasn't complete yet I thought it'd take place in a more modern setting and designed her with that in mind but we decided to have the story take place in 1800s so I changed the design based on that. I did a lot of research on glasses and corsets to make the design as accurate as I could.
Yes glasses! We didn't use the sprites in the main story but Maelyn does wear glasses and looks very pretty in them if you ask me. You will be seeing more of it in the bonus episodes!
#asks#hold your tongues#Starling#Maelyn#yandere merman#merman#gamedev#game developers#game log#development log#indie game dev#indie game#indie vn#indie visual novel#yandere visual novel#yandere vn#indie yandere vn#vn#visual novel#indie yandere#artists on tumblr#digital art#male yandere#yandere#yandere monster#sketch#illustration#sprite#visual novel sprite#visual novel characters
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Just Pretend-Chapter Thirty
*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*
Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader
Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut(18+), star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse, talks of death, depressive thoughts, talks about not being able to conceive, and endometriosis.
Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.
Authors Note: If you haven't yet, please read DREAMSTATE before you read this chapter. It's imperative that you do otherwise you will be confused. There is also ONE chapter left after this one. I cannot believe we're almost to the end, folks. It's a very bittersweet feeling.
Tags[CLOSED]: @blueskylinesx @missduffsblog @hayleylatour @sleepyomens @loeytuan98 @artificialbreezy @marvelousmal @bngurngheart @lma1986 @wild-child-7747 @calleyx13 @illmakeyousaywow @jaded-and-hollow-souls @shayzillaaaa @badomensls @shadowseve @collective-heartbreak @klutzy-kay24 @sorrowsofsilence @sweetlittlekitsune @shilohrosechicken @itsafullmoon @toospooktocute @niicoleleigh @thatchickwiththecamera @hoe-for-daddywise @whenthesummerdies @thisbicc @sammyjoeee @joe9cool @ozwriterchick @happi-goth @dsireland86 @cncohshit @heyyoplayer @rain-down-on-mee @respectfulrebel @malerieee @myownthoughts12 @noahsbong @laurpartyprogram @cloudykoookie @sideeyenoah @bellaboo967 @rxdlstgn @anthemheatwave @lobolocaamo @amelia-acero @karenfranco @collidewiththesavannah @xserenax-13 @supersquirrel1996 @themodern-daywednesday @oxythoughtin7715
THIS IS FICTION. NONE OF THIS IS REAL.
NOAH
“Maybe I'll invite them over once I'm back home from the art store. I figured it'll be alright since you have therapy and we’re not going to dinner until four,” she sat up while letting the sheet fall to her lap.
I was still in a state of shock that I couldn’t even gaze at her perfect breasts, my mind whirling with so many different emotions. All I could do was numbly nod.
“I must say,” she smirked while brushing away the hair from my face, laying a kiss on my lips. “It’s always great to wake up to you every morning. But on my birthday, it’s extra special.”
Blinking wildly, I shook out the spiderwebs from waking up from my dreamstate and gave her a tender smile while bringing her into my chest.
“Happy birthday, angel,” I kissed her head.
Her arms snaked around my back, resting her cheek against my chest. “Thank you, Noah. Oh, you’re sweaty.”
Her giggles echoed throughout the room as she glanced up at me. “Your heart is also beating so fast. Are you alright?”
“I just had a nightmare. That’s all,” I assured her.
The door creaked open causing both of us to look over and see Kuma pushing his way inside, sitting at the bed. He’d grown in size the last week and was beginning to take up a lot of space.
Not that any of us complained. We loved him.
“He’s giving me the creepy I need to go out look,” Y/N giggled while getting ready to get out of bed.
Pushing her back onto the bed and throwing the covers over her, I slipped out while standing to my feet.
“It’s your birthday. You deserve to sleep in and treat yourself,” I said.
Pulling out my wallet from the drawer of my nightstand, I tossed my credit card onto her lap. Almost immediately Y/N began to fight my decision but I shook my head.
“I want to take care of you, Y/N. Especially today. Please?” I begged while jutting out my bottom lip.
Eventually she nodded and rose to her knees to wrap her arms around my neck. Her gorgeous naked form on display made my cock twitch. If it wasn’t for Kuma staring at us, I’d drag her into the shower for a quick morning birthday sex.
“How did I get so lucky?” She mused.
“I think it was me that got lucky, angel,” I said with all the seriousness I could muster.
Our lips were so close, I could feel her warm breath fan over mine, but as I was about to close the distance Kuma’s deep bark caused both of us to jump.
“Alright, alright. I’ll let you out,” I sighed.
With a swift pass to Y/N’s bare ass, she shrieked before running towards the bathroom. With a nod towards the patio door in our room, I led Kuma outside to where he immediately ran over to his typical bathroom spot in the far corner of the yard. Since it was fenced, we didn’t have to worry about him running off.
As I rubbed a finger over the side of my hand, tracing the letters, I felt a fond smile pull at my lips when I remembered my guide not only in my dreamstate but in my life as well. Every big moment, good or bad, Keaton had been there with me guiding me along.
“Miss you, man,” I blew out a shaky breath when I remembered how it felt seeing his face again.
Feeling a soft brush of fur between my legs, I peered down at Salem who purred lovingly. Bringing him up to my chest, I let him rub his face in my neck to which I noticed a few strands of gray fur in his face. The once bright red color I bought him began to dull so I made note to buy him another one today but the tag with the Death of Peace of Mind symbols was still fresh like the first day I put them on his collar.
“I’m surprised you’re not curled up in bed with Michael,” I spoke to my cat son.
“Because he woke me up at five this morning screaming to be fed.”
Snapping my gaze to my right, I saw Michael lounging in the hammock while Jesse and Tay sat together on the outdoor couch, both holding to-go cups from Fika.
“Well, did you feed him?” I raised a brow at Michael before dropping Salem onto his chest and sitting in one of the chairs around the fire pit; embers still smoking from the fire last night.
“No, I let him starve,” Michael’s voice was thick with sarcasm as he let Salem snuggle up to him.
“Where’s the birthday girl?” Tay asked with a smile.
I motioned towards our bedroom. “Getting ready. I think she might head out to the art store. She’s been wanting to get a new easel since her other one broke when we rearranged her studio a few months ago.”
As we chatted for a bit, Y/N emerged from the patio door leading to our bedroom dressed in a bright yellow sundress, the warm California sun paling in comparison.
“Mochi,” her voice sang as she walked over to us and held her hands together underneath her chin.
“Mochi?” Tay asked Jesse quietly.
He kissed the side of her head. “It’s a long story.”
Dragging my fingers up and down her bare thigh as she stood next to the chair I’d been sitting on, I gave her my full attention.
“Yea?”
“Could I borrow your SUV? There’s more space than my small car,” she even said the word please with her eyes.
“Of course. You know you don’t have to ask,” I said while patting her thigh, her slowly dropping into my lap.
She thanked me with a kiss right before the rest of them wished her a happy birthday, something she couldn't hide her excitement because the love behind her smile was evident.
While Y/N sat in my lap, I glanced over to Tay who gave me a nod before clearing her throat while sitting up straight.
“Do you mind if I tag along? I know it’s your birthday but I’ve been dying to check out that antique place next door to the art shop.”
Immediately Y/N nodded while shooting up from my lap. “Yes please! I did not want to go alone.”
I fawned a frown, pretending to be hurt that I couldn’t go with her.
“I’m sorry, angel. I could try to reschedule my therapy appointment but we know how busy Dr. Poulos is.”
She bent down and kissed me. “It’s alright, Noah. I need a little girl time today.”
Knew she would take the bait.
After saying goodbye to them and making sure they were out of ear shot, I locked eyes with Jesse.
“Still good with the plan?”
He immediately nodded. “Everything is set up. Faye and Bryan will be here with their cameras.”
Michael spoke next. “Everyone knows where to be here and when.”
I nodded while rising to my feet and ran a hand through my unruly hair. “Good. I’ve got a few things to pick up in town.”
“Mind if we tag along?” Jesse’s words mimicked Tay’s from earlier. “We’re bored just sitting here.”
“Says you!” Michael said while rolling out of the hammock. “I’m fine hanging out at home doing absolutely nothing.”
Leading us inside with Kuma and Salem nearly knocking me over as they barreled past us, Jesse and Michael continued to bicker about something I stopped paying attention to; mind on something else.
“Michael, are you fine driving?” I asked while stopping in the hallway that led to my bedroom. “I need to make a few phone calls.”
“Yeah. Twenty minutes?”
All three of us nodded before dispersing in the house towards our respective bedrooms. The scent of Y/N still lingered in the air as I reached for my phone perched on my nightstand and as I went to pull up my texts, I noticed a voicemail notification without a missed call.
“Hm, weird,” I muttered as I clicked open the text thread between Y/N and I.
Me: Remember to treat yourself today, angel. You deserve whatever you want.
Almost immediately she texted back.
Angel 🪽: All I want is you, Noah.
My heart soared in my chest at her words, truly thankful that everything bad in our life the last few weeks had been a dream.
More like a nightmare.
Me: You already have all of me.
Just before I pocketed my phone, a new text popped up.
Joakim Karlsson: Any chance we could meet up soon? I need to talk to you about something before tonight.
Furrowing my brows, I typed up my response.
Me: Sure. I’m about to head to the jewelry store on 11th street. We can meet there in about thirty minutes?
When he replied with a thumbs up emoji, I tossed my phone onto my bed and stalked into the bathroom to get ready, excitement for the day causing me to wear a wide smile.
READER
“I am so tired,” I sighed while carrying the stacks of bags up the steps towards the house.
Tay giggled behind me as she carried the two new canvas’ I bought. “I can’t believe we spent two hours in the antique shop!”
Resting my hip against the front door, I adjusted the bags so I could wrap my hand around the door knob. “They had so many cute little skull trinkets! I hope Noah is fine with me littering his desk with some of them.”
I turned to face Tay as I pushed my way inside the house and didn’t notice it was not only quiet but dark as well until a boisterous round of voices caused me to nearly drop my bags.
“SURPRISE!”
“MOTHER FUCKER!” I yelled while clutching my chest, gazing around the filled living room.
Tears filled my eyes when I noticed every single one of my friends filling the house because of my birthday. They all were here for me.
Noah stood out amongst all of them dressed in a crisp white shirt that accentuated his tattoos and black dress pants. However, since he didn’t allow shoes in the house, he was wearing a pair of bright red socks.
He had a bouquet of flowers in one hand while the other hand was stuffed deep into his pocket. His hair had grown a bit since he skipped his last few haircuts so it was reaching his ears, even combing back like how it currently was. The chain around his neck rested softly against the white shirt. His cologne lingered in the air and the light from the lamp in the corner of the living room casted him in a bright glow; his own aura.
Noah called me his angel but right now standing in front of me, he was my own angel.
“Happy Birthday, Y/N.”
Tay came up behind me and took the bags from my hand so I could step into Noah’s warm embrace, the smell of the flowers engulfing my senses.
Violets.
Almost immediately I was brought back to when he surprised me with an array of flowers from his belated valentines day surprise.
“The violets, also known as the Sumire, represent life and sincerity. Its small size and delicate nature represent deep affection for someone. These flowers are very important in Japan.”
“Noah,” I choked while taking the flowers from him. “Did you do all of this?”
The entire house was covered in balloons, streamers, and a huge banner that took up the entire wall behind the television in the living room saying HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N. WE ALL LOVE YOU.
Salem and Kuma were sitting on the long evergreen couch, both wearing bright red bowties. It looked like Kuma even was groomed, his fur fresh and clean.
“Did you give Kuma a bath?” I chuckled while swaying in Noah’s arms.
He snorted. “Fuck no. I gladly paid the groomer $140 to take care of it. Remember the last time we tried to do that ourselves?”
I cringed remembering exactly what happened. Kuma jumped out of the bathtub mid shampoo scrub and ran all throughout the house, leaving a wet trail in his wake. It would have been fine if he didn’t jump into Michael’s bed to roll around in it while he slept.
Needless to say I bought Michael a new bedspread.
“You bought Salem a new collar?” I asked.
“His old one was faded. But I realized I should have got one for Kuma so they could match,” Noah said.
I peered around the house, taking in sight of all of my friends. Chase and Malcolm sat on the couch, both of them grinning from ear to ear; something that told me they had a surprise for me. I only knew this because Malcolm’s left eye would always twitch when he was desperate to tell me something.
Which is what was happening right now.
Davis, Steven, Michael, and Folio were all in the kitchen setting up the spread of food that seemed to have been just delivered before I walked in the door.
Astrid and Jolly were sitting at the kitchen table, both having a hushed conversation amongst themselves. I raised a brow at the action of Jolly resting a hand on the side of her stomach, her giggling at something he said.
Tay, who had set all of my belongings I bought earlier in my studio, emerged back into the living room just in time for Jesse to jump up from behind the couch to scare her. She yelped in surprise before smacking his chest repeatedly.
“I fucking hate when you do that!” There wasn’t an ounce of venom in her voice as her laughter echoed when he picked her up to twirl her around.
Matt had Faye wrapped into his chest as they sat on the other end of the couch, him staring at her with love in his eyes while he played with her necklace.
But it was Nicholas who sat at the table next to Jolly and Astrid that caught my attention more than the others.
“Birthday tattoos?!” I squealed while leading Noah over to the table.
“It’s become our tradition, angel,” Noah chuckled while handing the flowers to Astrid, who gladly set them in a vase with water.
Nicholas rose from the chair after pausing setting up his tattoo equipment and gave me a hug.
“Happy birthday, Y/N.”
I pressed my cheek to his chest, feeling so thankful for his friendship over the years. I wasn’t sure where I’d be if it wasn't for his words of wisdom in some of the darkest moments of my life.
“Thank you, Nicholas.” I smiled while pulling away from him.
“What are you going to get?” Faye asked from her position on the couch, wrapped underneath Matt’s arm.
I made a mock tapping on my chin, pretending that I was thinking about it. “A duck.”
Noah choked on his drink, nearly spewing it all over his shirt, and I couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Why a duck?” He wondered, wiping his chin.
"Well,” I began while sitting on one of the chairs and extending my right arm towards Nicholas so he could prep the area. “According to your fanbase, they see you as a duck so I guess that’s why I’m going to get it."
The stare Noah and I shared was strong and vibrant, the aura of our connected souls radiating light in the empty air around all of us. Most of everyone here had been here since the beginning of our relationship, so we knew how much this moment meant to them.
Noah stood behind the chair I sat on and placed a kiss on top of my head. “Well, I guess I’m getting a crow tattooed then.”
Looking back at Nicholas, I bit my lip. “Would it be too much to ask for two tattoos?”
“It’s your birthday, Y/N. Whatever you want,” he said.
“What else were you thinking of getting?” Jolly asked.
With a sad sigh, I spoke quietly yet loud enough for everyone to hear. “It can’t rain all the time.”
Noah didn’t speak, simply squeezed my shoulder for a long moment, before sitting down next to me.
“Still have your dads letter?” Nicholas asked while finishing setting up his equipment.
I raised a brow. “Of course I do. Why?”
“If you want, I can copy your dad’s handwriting for the tattoo. Might take me a bit if you don’t mind waiting,” he said.
Choking on a sob, I nodded eagerly. “Please.”
“I’ll go grab it,” Noah pressed a kiss to the side of my head before rising from the table.
For the next long while, everyone conversed and laughed, all of us reminiscing of old times together as Nicholas tattooed me and then Noah. I did have to chuckle because since Noah didn’t have much free skin, he had his crow tattooed on the back of his calf. Meaning we had to super sanitize our kitchen table for Noah to lay on it.
“I can’t believe Mr. Clean Freak, who sends overly aggressive texts in the group chat about a dirty crock pot, is getting tattooed on a surface we eat on!” Michael shook his head in disbelief.
Noah shot him a glare over his shoulder. “Shut up.”
I giggled while eating a plate of food, my two new tattoos wrapped up. The duck was a simple cartoon design with the infamous duck lips. Nicholas even added hair to it so it looked like Noah. It was on the inside of my forearm. The It Can’t Rain All The Time tattoo was done on my ribs which required me to change into something more comfortable so I wasn't lying on the couch with my dress hiked up to my breasts giving everyone a show.
Noah made sure to follow me into our bedroom to give me my first birthday present.
“Fuck,” I moaned while resting my head against the closed door of our room.
Noah hummed ini delight as he knelt in front of me, his face buried between my legs. The bottom of my dress covered him so I couldn’t see as he devoured me.
“Already so wet,” he mused before flicking his tongue against my clit and slipping in another finger, spreading them wide inside of me.
“Noah,” I panted and grasped his hair with such force, I heard a hiss fall from his mouth.
“Happy birthday, angel.”
A tender kiss inside of my thigh was the only warning I received before he began devouring me again. He sucked and hummed against my clit while his fingers continued to pump in and out of me in quick succession. It was all a blur as I let my body react to Noah’s touch. I whined when his fingers slipped out of me, leaving me empty and desperate for more, only then for his tongue to spear inside of me. His moans of pleasure were downed out as I gripped his hair and pushed him farther into my center. The euphoric burn was all consuming ,every bit of my soul becoming one with Noah as he refused to let up.
“Noah,” I panted, my orgasm teetering on the edge of explosion.
His fingers gripped my thighs to help keep me upright against the door, nails leaving half crescent shaped moons in the tender flesh. I rode against his tongue, basking in the splendor that Noah was the only one to ever provide me. With a muffled shout behind my hand, I let go of the grip on my orgasm and allowed it to haul me into the void of white haziness, stars dancing in the corners of my vision.
“Fuck,” Noah groaned after pulling himself away from my legs, my arousal soaking his chin and stood to his full height.
He made no move to wipe it away.
Now, almost an hour later, I stood in the kitchen with my family as Noah finished up his tattoo, grunting about how he’s going to have to disinfect the table a few more times before anyone eats there. Chase and Malcolm were leaning against the kitchen island in front of me, excitement evident in their eyes.
“Are you guys going to tell me what has your eye twitching?” I asked Malcolm.
Chase hummed while looking over at him. “You know, I never noticed that before.”
The auburn haired man rolled his eyes before handing me his phone to show me an email from our tour manager, Ethan.
“Wait,” I stood straighter. “No fucking way!”
My best friends and bandmates couldn’t stop smiling as I began bouncing on my feet, something Noah caught because he came over to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder.
“What’s going on?” He wondered.
“Hollow Souls is playing Incarceration in a few months! Do you know how huge this is for us? We haven’t played a festival of this caliber since Warped Tour.” My voice was raised two octaves, showing my excitement.
Jesse, who was slow dancing with Tay to the music playing, nodded. “ERRA just got asked to play.”
“Hang on, both Hollow Souls and ERRA got asked to play but not Bad Omens?” Matt was dumbfounded as he whipped out his phone, hastily typing away. “Oh, shit.”
Folio raised a brow while looking over Matt’s shoulder. “Dude, don’t you ever check your work email? They sent that email almost a week ago!”
“Fuck off, I’ve been busy,” Matt shot back while playing with Faye’s necklace again.
“So you mean to tell me,” I began while looking at all of my friends in the room, “Hollow Souls, Bad Omens, and ERRA are all playing at Incarceration?”
Noah beamed. “Talk about a sick ass line up!”
While I sat on the couch talking with Davis and Michael as the former told us he met someone at the bookstore the other day, I noticed Noah, Chase, and Malcolm disappear into the back yard. I wondered what their conversation was when I saw a huge smile break out on Malcolm's face while Chase stood frozen before Noah clamped a hand on his shoulder, reassuring him something.
Later on in the evening, I found myself talking with Faye and Matt, ever curious on where her necklace came from; the one Matt could not stop touching all night.
“Is this new?” I asked.
Faye nodded with a huge grin plastered across her face. “Matt gave it to me last nice.”
“It’s a pretty necklace,” I said while getting a better look at the glowing diamond in the middle.
Matt playfully smacked my hand away. “Not just any necklace. It’s an engagement necklace.”
Both Noah and I froze at his words, wondering if we heard him correctly. Faye smacked him upside the head, causing Matt to grumble a slew of curses.
“I told you not to say anything, Matthew. Tonight is about Y/N, not us,” she chastised him.
He rubbed at his head while fixing his hat. “It just slipped out.”
“I’m sorry,” I shook my head. “Did you just say engagement necklace? Like he proposed last night?”
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Noah asked, rubbing his hand softly over my stomach.
Faye sighed while twirling the necklace between her fingers. “We didn’t want to steal the spotlight away from Y/N. Today is her day.”
“FUCK THAT!” I yelled, causing everyone to stare at us. “Whoops sorry. Keep doing what you guys are doing.”
I didn’t want to be the one who dropped the news of their engagement. That was their business to tell.
Keeping my voice quiet now, I pulled Faye and Matt into a giant group hug. “I’m so happy for you two!”
“Gross,” Matt groaned when I left a kiss on his cheek. “I don’t need your Noah slobber all over me.”
Right before I began talking with them, Noah had pulled me into the hallway right outside our bedroom to give me my second birthday present to which we ended up making out against the wall when Matt caught us.
“What is this?” I asked Noah as he placed a black velvet box in my hand.
My heart was beating rapidly in my chest when he motioned towards my hand.
“That’s the whole point of a gift, angel. You need to open it,” he urged me again almost impatiently.
“Alright, alright,” I smacked his hand away when he tried to open it for me.
The box creaked open and I gasped when I saw the silver locket and chain standing out against the black silk it rested on. Angel was engraved on the front of the locket and when I opened it, tears welled in my eyes.
One side had a picture of Noah with Salem and Kuma. On the other side was a picture of my dad.
“Mochi,” I cried while looking up at him. “I-I-.”
Words were foreign, emotions overtaking me from how thoughtful this gift was.
Noah brushed away my tears with his lips, kissing me down to my neck. “I love you so fucking much, Y/N. You wear this and we will always be with you, no matter how near or far.”
His gentle hands worked on clasping the locket behind my neck, resting just above the other necklace he gifted me for my previous birthday.”
"This engagement necklace is so pretty!" I smiled at Faye, holding the necklace between my fingers and adding the correct word now since Matt corrected me a minute ago.
Noah stood behind me, his arms around my waist as I was pulled close into his chest. He'd been so soft and wanted to touch me any chance he could since we woke up this morning, not that I was complaining. It was nice to feel so wanted.
So loved.
His warm breath fanned over my ear. "I love you."
I smiled over my shoulder at him, leaving a tender kiss on his cheek. "I love you more."
Faye's voice brought my attention back to her and I shook my head. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"
Faye's smile was so wide that it reached her eyes. "I can't believe Matt proposed with the Evenstar necklace!"
My brows furrowed while playing with my locket. "The what now?"
"From Lord of the Rings," Faye answered, like it should have been common knowledge.
I sucked in a breath. "I-uh-never actually seen any of the Lord of The Rings movies."
All noise in the house seized, so eerily quiet you could hear a pin drop and Noah's grip around me loosened so he could stand in front of me now. There was a look of disbelief on his face.
His wasn't the one I was looking at, however. It was Matt who looked like I just ripped out his heart and stomped on it.
"Y/N," Matt held a hand over his chest. "Please tell me you're lying."
"Oh no," I cringed. "Are we not best friends anymore?"
Noah ran a hand over his face. "I cannot believe we've been dating for over a year and I'm just now finding out you've never seen one of my favorite movie series."
I could see the faint smile hiding behind his hand.
"I've never been interested in those movies," I shrugged.
Wrong answer.
An uproar sounded in the house as Noah tossed me over his shoulder, carrying me into the living room. Matt's voice booming behind me.
"Davis! Load them up now. We're having a movie marathon for Y/N's birthday."
Noah pulled me down to the couch with him, immediately wrapping his arms around my midsection to pull me into his chest. I was already warm from drowning in his hoodie and a pair of Hollow Souls joggers so his extra body heat was like a blanket covering both of us. As Davis clicked through Noah’s Fandango account on the television, I glanced over to Jolly who was helping Astrid sit on the couch. All evening he’d been extra attentive to her, constantly asking if she needed anything or keeping a hand on her stomach. She took the glass of water from him with a kiss of thanks just before he sat next to her.
That’s weird. Astrid always has a glass of wine at these get-togethers.
I let out a gasp when the realization hit me and smacked a hand over my mouth so I didn’t catch the attention of the others around me. Noah, however, did catch on and I felt him press a kiss to my cheek.
“They want to tell you, angel. But they’re afraid of how you’ll react.”
Sad eyes stared down at Noah since I was still seated on his lap. “What do you mean? You knew?”
“Jolly told me this morning. He wanted my opinion on how to bring it up to you because of your endometriosis. They don't want to make it seem like they’re rubbing it in,” Noah explained while rubbing my back.
My heart immediately sank to the depths of my stomach, hurt digging into my system but not for the reason others thought. But because my best friends couldn’t tell me they were pregnant without the fear of upsetting me.
Leaving Noah with a kiss, I stood from the couch and extended my hand towards Astrid, who glanced at me with confusion. Jolly’s gaze bounced between us with slight hesitation.
“Don’t worry. I’ll bring her back to you,” I ruffled his hair.
“Where are you going?” Matt asked while pointing to the television. “We’re about to start with the first Hobbit!”
Rolling my eyes at him, I pulled Astrid off of the couch. “Give me five minutes, thotblaster. Then you can strap me down so I have no choice but to watch these movies.”
With my hand in hers, I led Astrid to my art studio and made sure the door was closed behind us. Her white hair with slightly overgrown roots was pulled back into a tight braid and the light behind her eyes was slowly flickering.
“Are you doing alright? I know you wanted to meet up to talk earlier,” I said while we both sat on the couch I had in the room.
Astrid hesitated for a moment, gnawing on her bottom lip and began rubbing her hands up and down on her jeans. “Noah told you?”
“I picked it up on my own. I’m quite perceptive,” I joked with a sly smile before grasping her hands to hold them in my lap. “Astrid, please know you do not have to hide something like this from me in fear of how I’ll react.”
She nodded with wet eyes. “We just found out last night. It wasn’t planned and if I’m being honest, things with Jolly haven’t been great the last few weeks. Part of me is afraid this will push him away more than bring us closer together.”
“I don’t think so. From what I’ve seen tonight, he hasn’t been able to keep his hands off of you. Come to think of it, Noah’s been acting the same way since he woke up this morning.” I waved her off, getting distracted. “But my point is, you two deserve this. This group needs a little one of us running around. And it being a little mini mix of you and Jolly is a plus.”
Astrid laughed through her tears. “You’re not mad?”
My eyes widened. “Mad? Why would I be mad? I’m fucking ecstatic. I’ve come to terms a long time ago that kids aren’t in the cards for me. This is something both Noah and I have spent many nights coming to terms with. We’re more than alright being the fun uncle and aunt of the group.”
She wrapped her arms around me in a tight embrace, almost knowing that deep down my heart was breaking for not being able to have something I desperately wished for.
“In time, you and Noah will find a way to leave your love so it can carry on,” Astrid assured me.
Over her voice, another seemed to speak quietly in my ear; a voice I hadn’t heard in years.
It’s okay.
TAY
With a yawn, I buried myself deeper into the blankets on my bed while browsing through the adoption site on my phone. It was a long day of shopping with Y/N and then her surprise birthday party. The second I stepped foot into my apartment, I made a beeline for the shower and then immediately jumped into bed. Jesse emerged from the bathroom across the hall from my bedroom and turned the light off with a soft click. For a long moment, the dogs that were up for adoption were a forgotten thought as I tracked my eyes over the tattoos that littered Jesse’s bare torso; the ones I spent many nights kissing.
“Like what you see?” He teased while tying back the curls from his face before climbing into bed with me.
“Very much so,” I grinned while plugging in my phone and snuggled closer into his warm chest.
We lay there as a rerun of Ghost Adventures played on the television and I dragged my nail over the tiger tattoo across his stomach.
“Everything alright?” Jesse questioned while brushing his lips over my forehead.
I sighed while giving a limp shrug. “Why do you let me look at dogs for adoption when I cant get one because this stupid apartment doesn’t allow it?”
“Is it the same husky?” His hand dragged up and down my spine, causing shivers to cover my skin.
“Yeah,” I pouted while looking up at him. “She’s all white with bright blue eyes! And her name is Sky. How cool would it be to name her Skyline?!”
He chuckled at my excitement. “It would be cute.”
Kicking my feet in another pout, I buried my face in the crook of his neck to breathe in his familiar scent. The last four months with him had been a whirlwind of emotions. I’d have my fair share of terrible relationships so when we started dating it was like a breath of fresh air. Jesse showed me how I deserved to be treated and if he could, I knew he’d give me the moon and stars in a necklace so I could walk around with them all the time.
My heart beat wildly in my chest when Jesse hooked my leg over his hips to pull me closer to him.
“You’re too far away from me, darlin,” he whispered.
Giggling, I pressed a kiss to his chest. “Can you tell me something so I stop thinking about the poor husky in the cold and dark shelter?”
“What do you want to know?”
Suddenly my head snapped up so I could stare down at him. “Tell me where the hell Mochi came from?”
Jesse sucked in a breath. “Can’t do that. I promised Noah I’d take that to the grave.”
I batted my bright eyes at him while jutting out my bottom lip. “Please?”
Wrapping his arm around me, Jesse hooked his other arm behind his head. “Alright, so it started when Hollow Souls and Bad Omens were touring together a couple years ago.”
NOAH
I bounced on the soles of my feet, excitedly waiting for Y/N to arrive. My one gloved hand was shoved deep in my coat pocket while the other was out as I stared down at the makeup that went into making it look old and wrinkled; along with my face. We never had plans to make a music video for Just Pretend but with how it blew up over night on Tik Tok and we realized how much people love the song, we knew it had to be done.
Just Pretend was mine and Y/N’s song, something that was meant for the two of us. But my mind immediately began to run with ideas on how we could make the music video work for our Concrete Jungle universe. Thankfully, she was on board with the entire idea even though she was a bit worried about her being in the music video with me.
“It’s just your arm and bracelet, angel. No one will see your face.”
“Five minutes, Noah!”
Glancing over my shoulder towards Erik, I nodded. “Y/N’s almost here.”
Erik Rojas nodded with a sly smile before looking back at the computer monitor, going over what we had shot yesterday with the younger couple in the music video. I worked from 8 in the morning to nearly midnight and by the time I got home and crawled into bed next to Y/N, she was fast asleep. This morning, I left even earlier with a kiss to her forehead. For nearly six hours, I sat in a chair so the make up department could age me by sixty years.
Y/N had plans with Matt this morning, something about him needing her for something top secret that not even I knew. When I tried to ask her about it in our earlier texts, she simply sent a gif of someone locking their lips.
“Well, who’s this handsome fellow?”
Turning on my heels, my heart soared into my chest when I saw Y/N walk through the door of the building we were shooting the video in, her usual glow behind her; one that I immediately noticed was muted gray, darkness creeping in.
“Are you alright?” I questioned while cupping her cheek with my gloved hand.
Her face faltered, only for a moment, before she gave me a bright yet forced smile.
“Please don’t lie to me,” I sighed. “What’s wrong?”
Y/N nodded in my grasp. “The endo pain is bad today. But I’ll be okay.”
“Angel,” I sighed while rubbing a thumb just under her eye. “We can reschedule. I don’t want you to force yourself to work.”
“I promise,” Y/N’s finger hooked in the belt loop of my pants to bring me closer to her, resting her chin on my chest while looking up at me. “I’ll be fine. But you know what will help?”
I raised a brow, as best as I could underneath all of the prosthetics. “What’s that?”
“Ice cream on the way home tonight,” her eyes shined.
With a chuckle, I pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Whatever you want, angel.”
We stayed in this position for a little bit, ignoring everyone around us as they set up the next scene of the music video. Having her in my arms felt like my soul was home
“So this is what old Noah looks like, huh?” She tapped my wrinkled cheek before scrunching up her face in disgust at the large premade stain of my white shirt. “How bad is it bothering you that you can’t wash that?”
I groaned while letting my eyes shut. “So bad.”
We both shared a laugh as I brought her into my embrace, catching her wrist with my gloved hand. “Did you wear your bracelet?”
Motioning towards her caught wrist, I pulled down the sleeve of her jacket to see the silver chain around her.
“I never take it off, Noah. You know that.”
It was true.
Y/N wore the bracelet and necklace all the time, never taking it off. Even when she showered. She said it was a way to have me with her when I wasn’t.
Holding her close, I breathed in her familiar scent of peaches. “Does this old man get a kiss from his best girl?”
Y/N hummed while stepping on the tips of her toes and brushed a kiss across my lips. It was one that was barely felt, gone before it registered in my brain. She was teasing me because of what I’d done to her this morning. While I was saying goodbye, I brushed my fingers over her slick folds underneath the blanket teasing her clit a few times before slipping out of the bedroom. She fell asleep naked last night, something we both did often. Mostly because of wanting the intimacy of feeling our skin against each other. We rarely did it for anything sexual. Sure there were times we woke up in the middle of the night wanting to be connected but I’d rather have the spiritual connection of having our bodies pressed up against each other.
“Angel,” I began but she was swiftly called over by the make up department, needing to get her ready for her part of the music video.
Giving them a nod, she turned back towards me to ruffle my hair. “I’ll see you in a bit, mochi.”
She slipped through my fingers like a ghost, further creating distance between me; physically and spiritually. Ever since my dreamstate, I’d been feeling this undeniable urge to make sure Y/N knew how much she meant to me. I needed to prove to her that I’d do whatever it took to make sure she was loved and cared for until her last breath.
Not only because of the dreamstate but because of Matt and Faye getting engaged and Jolly and Astrid news of becoming parents soon, it seemed to put my ass in gear. I was done floating along with my relationship. I couldn’t put this off any longer. It was burning a hole in Michael’s top dresser drawer.
“Noah, you ready?” One of the assistants helping out Erik called over to me from his position next to the old chair surrounded by monitors.
“One second,” I said while pulling out my phone and clicking on the ‘House Boy’s’ group chat.
Me: What time is our studio session on Friday?
Michael: We’re booked from 12-5. Think it’ll be enough time?
Me: Should be. We just need to track yours and Y/N’s vocal’s. Chase said we can use their studio to mix everything.
Jesse: I don’t know how you managed to talk Y/N into being a cover on the OST.
I snickered at that, remembering how persistent I was in trying to get her to agree. I’d brought it up to her the other night at dinner when I caught her and Michael singing together. Chief was already a planend feature on the CJ OST but we’d been trying to find a perfect female voice that would match well with Michael’s.
Y/N was apprehensive at first when I asked if she wanted to do it only because we were still pretty private with our relationship, not making it public knowledge yet. But I assured her that we shouldn’t care what people think about that aspect. Hollow Souls being a feature on Bad Omens next album would be huge.
Michael: It’s because I’m just so handsome.
Me: 😒
Jesse: Honestly, that makes a lot of sense if you think about it.
Me: I hate you guys so fucking much.
Michael: That’s a weird way to say I love you.
Jesse: SMOOCHES!
Rolling my eyes at them with a slight chuckle, I pocketed my phone and shifted into work mode by spending the next little while filming my part of the video; finger pressing the button of the remote in my hand and clawing at the tube in my throat. It was pretty easy and went smoothly. By the time I finished, Y/N had returned dressed in a white cardigan sweater and her left arm done with the special effect make-up, her bracelet sparking under the low light of the set as I sat up from the chair.
“I still think we should have aged you by sixty years so we could match,” I joked as she reached me.
“Will you read to me by the ocean when I’m old and gray?” She teased while pulling me closer by my own sweater to press a kiss to my lips.
“Until our last dying breath,” I vowed with all the seriousness in my voice.
Our eyes met in a fiery trance, neither of us wanting to break it first and the longer we stared at each other, I could see the light slowly beginning to ignite behind hers once again.
“Are you ready for your big moment?” I asked as we began walking down the long hallway towards the made up hospital room where Y/N would be.
She snorted while linking our fingers together, hands beginning to sway between us. “All I have to do is lay there while the doctors try to save my life. Just show the bracelet and make sure it looks pretty.”
I pulled us to a stop in the hallway, twirling her around and pulling her into my chest; her laughter echoing all around us.
“That shouldn’t be too hard for you because you’re always pretty,” I winked before capturing her lips into a kiss.
It was slow, both of us taking our time tasting each other, and Y/N hummed into my mouth when my tongue brushed against her bottom lip.
“GET A ROOM!” Bryan’s voice called from down the hall before we heard the rapid clicking of his camera.
Flipping him off, I pressed another kiss to Y/N’s lips and held her close to my chest while looking at Bryan, who snapped another picture of us.
“Cool if I get shots of you in the bed?” He asked Y/N.
She nodded before looking up at me. “Are you all finished for the day?”
“Almost. I just need the shot of me walking down the hallway to your room.”
“Perfect,” Y/N kissed my chin. “I can’t wait for the ice cream.”
She walked away from me but halted, turning swiftly on her feet to face me again. “What movie are we on tonight?”
I chuckled while stuffing my hands in the pockets of my pants. “Two Towers. Matt is going to want to do the extended version.”
Back on her birthday, we watched all three Hobbit movies and last night we watched Fellowship of The Ring together; something Matt made known how upset he was that we watched it without him. So we promised we’d go over to his and Faye’s place tonight to watch the next one.
Y/N rolled her eyes with an over the top sigh. “I guess since he’s my best friend that’s okay.”
Erik popped his head out of the hospital room. “We’re ready for you, Y/N.”
Witha thumbs up, she ran back over to me with a playful smirk. “I can’t get over how good you look.”
She breathed over my lips before pushing away from me and following Erik into the room at the end of the hall.
With a cheeky smile, I walked back towards where I was previously sitting in the chair with the monitors around me. The plan was for me to wake up from my memory core dreaming when the memory of my younger love was dying and follow the doctors down the hall to where old Y/N was laying in the bed dying.
Thank Hades my dreamstate didn’t end up like that.
MICHAEL
“I'm not afraid of the war you've come to wage against my sins. I'm not okay but I can try my best to just pretend.”
Y/N cringed while adjusting the headset over her ears. “Can we maybe turn my voice down? I feel like I might be too loud.”
I nodded while adjusting the necessary buttons before speaking into the microphone that echoed into the recording booth. “Try now.”
Noah sat next to me, watching Y/N with adoration in his eyes as she sang the opening part of Just Pretend again; for the third time. We were in the studio for the last three hours and I finished recording my vocal parts a while ago. Y/N wanted to make sure her vocal take was perfect because this song meant so much to her.
“That shirt looks familiar,” Jolly spoke while motioning towards the shirt Y/N was wearing as he walked into the studio with a tray full of coffees from Fika.
“I haven’t seen her wear the shirt since our zoo day,” Noah said while taking a long sip of his coffee.
How did he not burn his throat?
As Y/N continued to track her vocals, getting lost in the lyrics, I moved my head back and forth while quietly signing it along with her. Matt sat on the other side of me as we both conversed ideas on how to make the track once Y/N was finished. Noah’s knee couldn't stop bouncing as he kept his gaze between his phone and Y/N.
“She sounds really good, huh?” He mused with a goofy smile on his face.
“Y/N and Noah sitting in a recording booth. K-I-S-S-I-. Ow, mother fucker!” I yelled, rubbing my arm after he punched me.
“Noah Sebastian! What have I said about hurting our friends?” Y/N’s yelled at him through the booth.
He pointed to me. “He started it!”
Rolling my eyes, I pressed the button for the microphone in the booth. “Did you want to take a break?”
She shook her head. “I want to do one more run through. I feel like I can get my voice a bit higher.”
Matt nodded while throwing his finger in a circle. “Let’s go for one more run.”
Furious typing out of the corner of my eye made me look over to Noah, who was clearly trying to keep his composure.
“It’s going to be fine, Noah,” I assured him quietly. “You don’t have to worry.”
He looked away from his phone, knee still bouncing with anticipation, and did his best to nod. “I know. It’s just killing me not being there.”
“Jesse told you to trust him. So trust him,” I reminded Noah of our conversation with Jesse this morning.
Noah pinched his eyes shut and let out an aggravated groan. “I still haven't heard from the realtor. I’m freaking out.”
Jolly rested his hand on Noah’s shoulder. “You can’t rush something like this, Noah. You just need to be patient.”
Chase and Malcolm sat on the couch behind me and they were snickering about something which caused me to spin in my chair to face them with a raised brow.
“Something funny love birds?” I teased.
Chase ran a hand over his buzzed head, still snickering about something. “We tried to reassure Noah when we talked to him at Y/N’s birthday that there’s nothing to worry about.”
Malcolm spoke next, bumping his knee with Chase’s. “It’s just funny to see Mochi freaking about little details when we all know she doesn't care about that kind of stuff”
“I swear to god,” Noah grumbled with narrowed eyes. “I fucking hate when you guys call me that.”
Our conversation ceased when the door behind Noah opened, Y/N stepping out of the sound booth.
“What are you guys talking about that have all of you in a serious mood? No one is even paying attention to my record,” she pouted her lips.
Matt raised his hand. “I was paying attention.”
“Kiss ass,” Jolly snorted while handing Y/N her coffee. “Astrid made yours with another shot of espresso.”
She widened her eyes before taking a tentative sip. “Is she trying to keep me up all night or something?”
All of us shared a quick look and then Matt packed up his things, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. “Alright, losers. I’m out of here. I’m meeting Faye after she finishes up her shoot with some clients at the pier.”
This caused Y/N to perk up. “Did you remember-?”
Matt waved his hand with a loud shush before ruffling her hair. “I’ll text you later with the details.”
Noah pulled Y/N down to his lap. “You two have been really secretive the last couple of days.”
She tapped his nose. “Not my business to tell, mochi bean.”
We all laughed while waving goodbye to Matt and Jolly, I eased back into my chair while looking at my watch.
“We still have the studio for an hour. Feel confident with what we have?” I asked.
Noah rested a hand on her thigh. “It’s up to you, angel. Bad Omens and Chief got what we needed.”
She glanced over to Chase and Malcolm. “What do you guys think?”
Malcolm tucked a curly piece of auburn hair behind his ear. “I think we got what we needed. But it’s up to you, sweets.”
As the three of them talked, Noah’s glittering gaze lingering on the side of Y/N’s face, I pulled out my phone from my pocket when I felt it vibrate twice.
Jesse Cash: All set.
Jesse Cash: No thanks to me, though. Tay did everything. I was just here to make sure she didn’t fall off the ladder.
Letting out a low cough, I got Noah’s attention and gave him a small nod.
He sucked in a large breath before tapping Y/N’s thigh. “Why don’t you give it one more go? Just to make sure it’s perfect. I know how much of a perfectionist you are.”
She rolled her eyes and kissed his forehead. “You’re the one to talk! But you’re right. You don’t mind waiting around for me?”
This is where phase one starts.
“I should get home to let Kuma out. Jesse and Tay have been gone all day, along with us,” Noah said.
Y/N pouted but nodded. “I’ll get a ride home from Michael.”
“No can do. I’ve got a date after this,” I informed.
I didn’t. It was a lie to set up phase two.
“We’ll give you a ride home, sweets,” Chase spoke up.
After she gave Noah a quick kiss, Y/N walked back into the booth leave the four of us alone again.
I pointed to him. “Don’t go snooping.”
“Trust me, I don’t need to know what you have hiding in your dresser,” Noah shivered while gathering his things and blowing a kiss to Y/N.
“Good luck, mochi bean!” Chase called after him.
CHASE
“Oh my god, Chase. Why are you driving so slow!” Y/N whined from the backseat of the car. “I’m tired and want to get home to my boys!”
I tapped my fingers along the steering wheel with the beat from the radio as I slowly glided along the familiar roads leading to her house. We were waiting for a text from Noah giving us the thumbs up and with us being a few blocks away with no text, I had to do whatever I could to buy some time.
“You know, sweets,” Malcolm turned slightly in the passenger seat so he could look back at her when I stilled the car at a red light. “We miss you. We just want to spend some time with you.”
In the rearview mirror, I saw a slight frown pull on Y/N’s lips.
“I miss you guys too,” she sighed. “Maybe next weekend I can spend the weekend at your place. Like old times?”
“We’d like that,” Malcolm said.
I spoke up next, locking eyes with her in the rearview mirror. “We’re proud of you, Y/N. With all the hell you overcame the last couple of years. There were moments we thought we would lose you but you pushed through because you’re strong.”
Her bottom lip trembled as Malcolm continued where I left off. “We love you, sweets. You’re a sister to me and would do anything to keep you safe even if you don’t need us anymore.”
“I do need you guys,” her eyes were wet with tears. “You guys have kept me safe from the start of Hollow Souls. You were there when I needed a shoulder to cry on because of Trey and when I found myself in that darkness after the hotel room with Noah, you two brought light when I needed it most. I owe you guys my life.”
I rubbed my nose, hoping to hide the sniffle because I didn’t want to show my emotions in front of them. I’d always been the strong one between us three. I needed to be.
A loud horn sounded behind my car causing all three of us to jump so with a breath, I began to drive again, still at the pace from before.
“I can’t believe you guys have me crying,” Y/N chuckled while brushing away her tears.
Malcolm snorted. “You say that like you’re not already a big baby.”
The two of them began to fight in the car which caused me to push away their hands while trying to drive.
“Knock it off kids! Don’t make me turn this car around,” I warned.
Laughter filled the car as a new text came through to Malcolms phone, him peering down at it.
“We’re good,” he mouthed.
Putting a little more weight to my foot, I let the car increase in speed as we reached Y/N’s house in a matter of minutes.
THIRD PERSON POV
Waving goodbye to Chase and Malcolm, Y/N walked up the steps towards the house with her keys in her hand. All of the lights were off which made her pause momentarily because she thought at least Noah was home. When she reached the door, a bright green sticky note caught her eye immediately.
Follow the trail.
A quiet squeal fell from her lips when she realized what was going on. It was like their redo date all over again. The sun was slowly starting to set so she barely had enough light to see the violet petals guiding her to the side of the house where on the gate of the fence was another note.
I'm so afraid that the walls that I have made have locked me in.
Y/N’s brows furrowed as she picked off the sticky note and continued to follow the trail of violet petals into their backyard where she saw yet another sticky note on the shed that housed all of their gardening equipment.
I'm not okay but I can try my best to just pretend. So will you wait me out until I let you down? So will you wait me out until I let you down?
The familiar lyrics pulled on her heart strings, having just recorded her version a few hours ago. Just Pretend was her and Noah’s song, a way they can be bound together for the rest of their days. A way to show others how strong their love for one another is.
Yet again following the trail of petals deeper into the back yard, her eyes locked in on a bright green sticky note on the concrete patio.
I can wait for you at the bottom. I can stay away if you want me to. I can wait for years if I've gotta. Heaven knows I ain't getting over you.
Soft acoustic notes played throughout the vastness of their backyard causing Y/N to snap her head up from reading the note to see Noah clad in a black sweater, joggers, jacket, and beanie, blending into the growing darkness of the night. However he was illuminated by the bright fairy lights that were connected from tree to tree, basking him in an angelic glow.
He sat on a pillow that was laid on a pile of blankets with a guitar perched in his lap, fingers strumming a few notes before his voice broke through the space between them.
I'm so afraid.
That the walls that I have made have locked me in.
I'm not okay.
But I can try my best to just pretend.
Choking on a breath, Y/N stood a few feet in front of him with her hand grasping at the two necklaces over her original Bad Omens shirt; the one she wore during their zoo day years ago.
So will you wait me out until I let you down?
So will you wait me out until I let you down?
Noah sang with his eyes shut, finding himself deep within the lyrics. His heart was beating so fast in his chest, he was afraid that it would burst through, leaving a bloody mess in front of Y/N. He wanted to give her his heart for the rest of his life just not in that gruesome kind of way.
I can wait for you at the bottom.
I can stay away if you want me to.
I can wait for years if I've gotta.
Heaven knows I ain't getting over you.
Y/N took four large steps towards Noah and knelt down in front of him on the pile of blankets. There was a roaring fire blazing heat next to them and she saw a bead of sweat drip down the exposed skin of neck peeking through his sweater. Although she couldn’t tell if it was because of the heat or nerves.
I know the pain.
That you hide behind the smile on your face.
And not a day.
Goes by that I don't wish it'd go away.
From the moment he saw Y/N walk off the Hollow Souls tour bus that day a few years ago, he knew she would hold his soul forever. They would be bound by that string that would tug when they were apart or pulsate when they were close by.
So will you wait me out until I let you down?
So will you wait me out until I let you down?
There were moments Y/N would wake up from nightmares of when she walked out of the hotel room, leaving broken Noah behind. She vowed every time she woke up from one of those nightmares that she would continue to prove to Noah that she deserves him.
I can wait for you at the bottom.
I can stay away if you want me to.
I can wait for years if I gotta.
Heaven knows I ain't getting over you.
Can we try again?
When we're not so different.
Can we make amends?
Why can't we just pretend?
Noah shifted a bit in his spot on the blankets and opened his eyes to see Y/N with tears in hers and he desperately wanted to wipe them away. He hated when she would cry. Hell, he hated whenever she was in pain whether it was emotional or physical. When she was dealing with terrible endo pains a few days ago, Noah made her a fort of blankets on the couch with her heating pad and snacks galore. They watched all of her favorite movies all day while he gently rubbed away the cramps from her lower abdomen.
He would do whatever it took to make sure she didn’t live the rest of her days in pain.
Weigh down on me, stay 'til morning.
Way down, would you say I'm worthy?
Weigh down on me, stay 'til morning.
Way down, would you say I'm worthy?
They both were so lost in the haze of Noah’s angelic voice that Y/N hadn’t noticed the patio door behind her slide open just a hair.
I can wait for you at the bottom.
I can stay away if you want me to.
I can wait for years if I gotta.
Heaven knows I ain't getting over you.
As Noah poured out his love for Y/N, memories of their album release party played in his mind. When they were desperate to find each other that night, desperate for their souls to connect as one again while being guided by someone that had been trying to set them up from the beginning.
Can we try again?
When we're not so different.
Can we make amends?
Why can't you just.
Y/N was desperate to touch him but was so afraid of breaking him from the trance. She’d never heard this version of Just Pretend and the rawness of the lyrics along with Noah’s vocal’s brought even more tears to her eyes. As Noah sang the last few lines, his eyes opened fully for the first time, immediately locking with hers.
Weigh down on me, stay 'til morning
Way down, would you say I'm worthy?
Weigh down on me, stay 'til morning
Way down, would you say I'm worthy?
Both were silent for a long moment, Noah setting the guitar down next to them on the blankets before pulling her into his arms.
“I love you, Y/N,” he proclaimed into her hairline.
She desperately grasped at his sweater, needing to feel him close. “I love you too, Noah. I’ve never heard that version before.”
Pulling away from her a bit, those dark amber eyes peered down at her and brushed away strands of hair from her face. He marveled the way the freckles across her nose seemed to stand out amongst the fairy lights dancing above.
“I wrote it back when we weren’t talking, after that night in the hotel. I was in a dark place and it showed in those lyrics. But now, I feel like you deserve to hear it. I need those lyrics to have new meaning. Something good.”
Their lips collided in a kiss fueled by so much power, it made her nearly falter in Noah’s embrace so he laid Y/N down on the pile of blankets softly. She let herself fall into him, his tongue overpowering hers as he deepened the kiss. His hips pressed into hers causing her to moan into the kiss.
“Noah,” she breathed.
“I love you so fucking much. I need to prove it to you, angel. Please? Will you let me?” He begged while leaving harsh bites along the tender skin across her neck.
Her nails scratched at the ink underneath his sweater. “You have, Noah. You always have.”
Noah’s teeth nipped and sucked at her bottom lip while his hand began to guide her shirt up over her stomach, ready to pull it off of her but a blur of fur nearly toppled over them.
“Oh, fuck. Kuma! Who let you out,” Noah groaned while sitting back on his knees, fixing the beanie on his head that became askew from his make out session with Y/N.
She giggled while still laying on the blanket and peering up at Kuma, scratching at his chin and neck.
“Hi baby. I know I missed you too,” her infectious laughter echoed in the back yard as Kuma pawed at her.
Suddenly her hand brushed up against the new bright teal collar around Kuma’s neck, her gasping before snapping her gaze over towards Noah, who was silent. His eyes were on fire, vibrant with his tears, and a slight smile on his kiss bruised lips.
After shooing Kuma away, Noah pressed himself to Y/N again so he could feel her close as she spoke in his ear. Professing her undying love, support, adoration, and praise. She agreed to Noah’s words, giving him every part of her until her last breath. His hands raked over every inch of her body, tracing it to memory, before sliding the shirt up over her head while she helped him out of his joggers.
That night underneath the fairy lights and Noah’s soft vocals echoed in the air, inking on their skin, their souls merged as one. The invisible string binding them together in a knot so fierce, not even the fire blazing next to them could burn it away.
One look at Y/N eyes and Noah would cave in. One taste of the life they could possibly have together made them both crave it. Both of them were in over their heads when they found each other but now, they knew what they needed. They needed something beautiful to shine through the darkness of their lives. They both needed this miracle.
#tina talks#noah sebastian#bad omens#just pretend noah sebastian#bad omens cult#noah sebastian fics#noah sebastian fanfiction#noah sebastian smut#noah sebastian x reader#noah sebastian x you#bad omens x reader#bad omen fanfiction#bad omens fics
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Ed’s Initial Intentions regarding Stede
Thank you so much for your attention to the poll. The consensus is it’s complicated - and I sort of agree - although I’m swayed towards Fascination alone.
This is my interpretation…
Stede causes Ed to access hidden or denied parts of himself before they’ve even met. And it causes a change in Ed’s behaviour. Ed’s come across many rich or aristocratic folks to rob whom he would see killed without issue; but not someone who’s also a pirate, doing their own original thing, and who seems ambivalent towards Blackbeard’s existence. It’s dopamine to Ed’s novelty-starved brain. It’s not as if Ed carries out a usual raid on the Revenge intending to kill Stede, only to find himself unexpectedly charmed. Ed’s bewitched even before he meets Stede, which means Ed’s entire approach and thought-processes are altered.
Killing Stede and the crew isn’t necessarily off the table should the need arise, but I don’t think it’s actively on in any capacity. There’s no plan, and there’s no ‘uszh’ for once either. Because none of this is uszh. Ed’s engagement with the Revenge is not his normal MO. History’s most brilliant tactician is free-styling. Possibly free-falling.
At the end of 102, Izzy states, ‘Captain says follow that ship.’ And Fang answers ‘Oh really? Why?’ To which Izzy replies, ‘How should I know? The man’s half-insane.’ This conversation shows this isn’t usual strategy. Even Fang asks why - he thought they’d seen the last of those ‘fancyboys’. And Ivan’s sad he didn’t get the chance to murder them, which seems the usual way of things. Plus they’d already had the chance to take or plunder the ship when it ran aground, so this stalking manoeuvre is out of the ordinary. It feels like wasted time and energy.
By the start of episode three, Blackbeard’s ship is a few hundred yards out from the Revenge, and Izzy’s trying to manipulate Ed into usual strategy again by suggesting opening fire, or boarding and throwing the Revenge crew to the sharks. Instead, Ed wants to wait until they make landfall and invite them aboard his ship. Ed’s doing something very different again because he’s unwittingly engaging with an unfamiliar part of himself. And interestingly ‘Go suck eggs in Hell’ appears not to insult, but to somewhat seduce him further. Before meeting Stede, he’s already out of his depth emotionally, and acting out of character, literally.
Despite what Ed would do normally, I just cannot see him landing on the Revenge with the active intent of plundering the ship and / or killing Stede and the crew. His words and actions suggest he’s already through the looking-glass.
So, to The Plan. We have three interesting moments which lead up to its revelation: the clothes swap, ‘careful of your face’ and ‘show me the ways of an aristocrat’.
For me, the three strands, which have no previous connection (other than Ed and Stede playing together), come together in Ed’s mind somewhere between Ed leaving Stede on the lookout, and Ed speaking with Izzy below: a matter of seconds. It reminds me of Keyser Söze in The Usual Suspects, pulling together disparate ideas into a cohesive story spontaneously. It’s the mind of a quick-thinker. And it’s in-keeping with Ed’s ability of reacting in the moment to the moment when necessary.
I think Ed also feels forced to perform Blackbeard for Izzy because Izzy’s threatening to leave pushes on that white father-figure emotional bruise. At this stage, Ed doesn’t have enough emotional loyalty to Stede to not voice such a plan; whilst his identity is still too caught in Izzy’s web to let him go - ‘you’re needed here’. For me, the plan to kill Stede is brought about in the moment via an act of psychological coercive control.
But Ed’s also kicking the can down the road. It’s a sort of Faustian bargain. Why not promise Izzy both their souls if it means Ed and Stede can hang out a little longer? Yet on another level Ed’s possibly hoping the debt won’t be called in, such is the complexity of the push and pull here. He’s putting it on the tab, the never-never. He’ll out-manoeuvre it if he decides that’s what he wants. Of course there’s doublethink going on because Ed’s in the middle of an identity crisis.
Ed daren’t admit his real reason for wanting to stay on the Revenge. He can’t comprehend himself even how deep this goes. His look as he turns is one of exhaustion and confusion. Stede Bonnet has him rattled. What started as a trickle of unease and ennui before they’d even met is now a whirlpool of unidentifiable feelings around both Stede, and Ed’s own perception of self.
Ed’s free-falling in liminal space.
#ed teach#stede bonnet#104#the plan#faustian bargains#doublethink#identity crisis#liminal space#ofmd meta#ofmd
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What's almost worse is that at the end of that arc, it's not the JEDI that Ahsoka blames, it's HERSELF. She doesn't leave because she decides she can't trust the Jedi or the Council anymore, she leaves explicitly because she wonders if she can truly trust HERSELF anymore and needs some time and space to figure that out.
And then even in Rebels, there's no indication Ahsoka has any negative feelings about the Jedi or about BEING a Jedi. When she interacts with Kanan and Ezra, she never tries to convince them away from being Jedi or the teachings that Kanan is pulling from more traditional Jedi methods that HE was taught. Ahsoka is often lumped in with them as a Jedi and never pushes back on that. She explicitly calls them in on "Jedi business" to go to Malachor later, and when they save the Force sensitive babies from the Inquisitors, it's AHSOKA who remembers that the Jedi had been the one to protect Force sensitive children before and agrees when Kanan says that they have to pick up that responsibility, now. Her "I am no Jedi" line is a lot more about her being angry and upset when she's told that Vader "killed" Anakin and her guilt over Anakin's fate being unmanaged so she loses herself to anger for a moment. At the end of season four, when Ezra saves her, it's AHSOKA who councils Ezra to let go of Kanan rather than try to save him because of the potential consequences if he did, comparing it to her own inability to save Anakin. So even though she'd given in to anger and despair just minutes ago for her, she's still capable of walking it back enough to council Ezra into letting go of his pain and recognizing she has to do the same herself. And unlike in the Mandoverse, this advice isn't shown to be wrong, and Ezra choosing to follow it is part of what ultimately allows him to save everyone.
So it's only been REALLY REALLY RECENTLY that we've started getting these storylines of Ahsoka being distinctly critical of the Jedi or angry with the Jedi or against being considered a Jedi. It started in TCW season 7, and was hinted at in her appearances in The Mandalorian and The Book of Boba Fett, and then got made super explicit in the Ahsoka show. It sucks that an arc that was meant to be more about Ahsoka learning to grow from her own youthful mistakes has turned into something so critical of the Jedi. I'm not a big fan of the Wrong Jedi arc IN GENERAL, I think it's poorly written, nonsensical, and super racist. But I also think that the ultimate message at the end of that arc is very different than the way it tends to get referred to since 2020, and that shift in perspective on that arc has also shifted the way Ahsoka's relationship with the Jedi is seen, too. Instead of just a chance for Ahsoka to reflect on her flaws, her own impatience and perhaps even arrogance, and grow from them, it's just a way for Ahsoka to distance herself from the Jedi and blame them for everything that ever went wrong (the war, Order 66, Anakin's fate, etc).
What sucks the most to me is that the story USED to acknowledge that the Jedi had done the best they could and Ahsoka just kept making it harder and harder to support her with her bad choices and that she needed to learn from those mistakes. Now the story just acts like Ahsoka can't MAKE mistakes, while the Jedi can ONLY make mistakes.
It's continuously frustrating that this show REFUSES to condemn Anakin for the things he's done or even really explicitly call him out on them, and they even go so far as to basically decide none of it even MATTERED.
But all they can say about the Jedi is that they failed.
When asked what Anakin was like, all Huyang says is that he was "intense."
The worst Ahsoka says is that he was "more dangerous than anyone realized" and then two episodes later she's calling him a "good master" despite everything he did to her and the rest of the galaxy. She never ONCE condemns him for committing a genocide against the Jedi and hunting them down for over two decades. She never ONCE condemns him for enslaving the clones and betraying their loyalty and using them as weapons against the Jedi they loved. She never ONCE condemns him for trying to personally kill HER.
He jokes with her, he gets to say that he wants to protect her, he gets to guide her into choosing to live, he makes recordings for her that she still uses years later. Anakin gets to be "more" than just his failures.
But the Jedi, somehow, do not. The Jedi are ONLY EVER their failures. Ahsoka never mentions them otherwise, she never remembers them fondly at all, she has no stories or connections about any of the other Jedi, she constantly disregards Jedi protcols as foolish and ridiculous at best.
The best thing they can say about the Jedi is that the "idea of them" had merit. But Anakin gets to be a GENUINELY good Jedi Master, more than just a good IDEA.
And this just feels like the WORST of double standards to me.
#ahsoka#ahsoka show critical#anti ahsoka show#wrong jedi#wrong jedi arc#jedi#pro jedi#pro jedi council#jedi council
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I will say, at the end of the day, I am very fond of Illario Dellamorte, despite it all. Yes, he managed to make every single POSSIBLE bad decision one can make, then figured out how to make a few more that nobody else would've thought possible. Yes, he was increasingly sloppy and incredibly stupid about it all. Yes, a lot of his frustration and rage is incredibly misdirected. Yes, I said before the game came out that I support him having a villain era, and I still do because it's fun and I love mess and drama—as much as he stresses me out and makes me want to strangle him because Jesus Fucking Christ.
Still, I think I like the idea of forgiving him. For me, there's something interesting in how he doesn't kill Caterina, in how he didn't ask for what happened to Lucanis and seems genuinely angry—wrong as he is to direct it at Lucanis—that the control that Lucanis so highly prized was taken from him rather than dying at his best, in how he can engineer Lucanis's death but experience a grief that still feels harrowingly genuine at the wake, in how he clearly is grasping at any possible advantage and is carelessly choosing his allies not because he believes in their goals or ideals but because he's desperately power-hungry and ambitious and no more. In how, if he is forgiven, Lucanis is impressed he almost got away with it, in how Illario goes to help the Crows in Minrathous in that last gambit.
He's a mess, and he's selfish and ambitious and vicious and contradictory. But, I have a soft spot for characters like him and relationships like his and Lucanis's, y'know? Forgiving him and forcing him to work out his life after he's burned nearly every bridge he has is just really interesting to me, especially given how Lucanis is still full of hope and affection for him alongside the hurt. How do you rebuild after all that, you don't even have the devil-may-care breezy mask anymore because everyone knows better now. Figure out where he fits now in his cousin's life, because I do think—at the end of the day—the affection and relief is still there from both sides, under it all. Deeply buried possibly, for Illario, but there.
I think there's enough pieces here to suggest that he and Lucanis have a chance to actually figure it out, and to suggest that Illario might actually get his shit together and be willing to given opportunity, time, and patience. It's also a messy choice (and a huge risk), but I do personally like the idea of forgiving him. I like the messy, insane, dramatic narrative of it. He has potential, as Lucanis himself notes. I would love to see if he can rise to it, now that he's gotten all of this out of his system.
Or, at least forgive him because there's something funny about that and I want to see what else he does if given the chance. It'll probably also be a mess, but I'd love to see what messes he gets up to when he's not plotting against the person closest to him in the world. It'll be fun! But, sincerely, I do think he can get his shit together, and I hope and believe he wants to. It's the more interesting and fun story to me, for both him and Lucanis, personally speaking.
#I have no sense of what the fandom at large's thoughts on him are but *I* like him and I like the mess and I want to forgive him.#I just wanted to write something thinking about it bc I talk about him a lot in DMs and had thoughts#Illario Dellamorte#Lucanis Dellamorte#bc it's also a little about him since I think forgiving Illario is more interesting for him personally#Dragon Age: The Veilguard#Dragon Age The Veilguard#Dragon Age#DATV#DATV spoilers#Veilguard spoilers#DATV things
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A Supernatural × Batman crossover where the Batfam are actual cryptids and the brothers are sent to hunt them, only to find out that these guys are pretty much immortal, god like beings whose only weaknesses are each other, the sun and some weird sentient manifestation of their home city that they seem to care about, and most of them already grew out of the second one, since, apparently, the sun only affects them when they're newborns/newly transformed/changed.
The whole reason they ended up in Gotham in the first place was because of some online rumors saying that there is a demon cult in the city, as well as Blüdhaven [it's true, partially, the Bat clan has had several cults and/or religions painting them as godly beings/saviours of Gotham throughout the years, still do (imagine the colonies from F'ing Demon Bats, only this time the cryptid part of them is actually real)] along with shrines for human sacrifices.
At first they thought the locals sold themselves to a Pagan God in exchange for their safety, that the shrines and "holy grounds" spread throughout the city were for blood and human sacrifices and the creatures were feeding on the souls of their followers or something.
Turns out, that couldn't be further from the truth. Yes there were bloody sacrifices at the shrines, but most of the time those were just grieving kids bringing their dead pets to silence's holy grounds for them to be healed, or taken care of, by the spirit and have their souls at peace. But, again, that was rare, and only occurred at the holy grounds themselves rather than the shrines people attended to daily.
Majority of those shrines were filled with books, art supplies, music boxes with ballerinas and, sometimes, you could even find a few trinkets and computer parts, as well as the occasional plates and plastic boxes filled with home cooked meals, sometimes they even put pots and kettles filled to the brim with savory goods and nice tea. Nobody ever touched the food, not even the poor and desperate, when asked why all the brothers received were looks of horror and hushed whispers about how "The bats don't like thieves" and "They'll stop coming by the shrine, maybe even destroy it if we do that"
Dean didn't like it, neither did Sam, they didn't like how the locals, people who barely even bat an eye when they see a dead body on their way to work, get so scared and terrified as soon as they hear of something that might displease the Bats. They tried asking around, trying to figure out what is it that makes them so scared of their dearly beloved deities, after all, they talk about them like such a wonder, like they're the best thing that ever happened to them. Hell, one of them is named Mercy and was revered for its compassion and understanding of those around them.
They only got their answer when investigating a place called Crime Alley. They locals were all the same, if not even more reserved than their city's counterparts, but there was one person, a young girl who couldn't be older than ten that said she'll be willing to answer their questions in return for some money and stories from their time as hunters. They were reluctant at first, but seeing as they haven't had much of an option, they agreed.
"So, Masey" Dean started
"Missy" she corrected
"Right, sorry, Missy, you said that you could tell us what's up regarding those demons"
"Deities" she said sternly, the man simply nodded "And yes, I can do that, but you'll have to do something for me first"
"And what would that be?"
"You said you were a hunter, right?" He nodded "And you also said you have some money. So I want you to give me two hundred dollars, cash, and a written story containing at least three of your adventures with your partner. You can't use big fonts, lie or omit any details from the story, it needs to be one hundred percent real and legible and needs to be at least fifty pages, understood?"
Dean was confused, confused and worried. Why would this child need a story about them hunting monsters? And why did she need it to be so long and accurate? Was she trying to sell them out to the Bats or something? Why was this so important?
A million questions flooded his head and looking at Sammy, he could tell the feeling was very much mutual.
"Um Missy" it was Sam talking to her this time "Why would you want a story of us hunting like that? We could tell you about our time together on the field, if you want, but why do you need that written so meticulously?"
The little girl shook her head before he even finished speaking "No, no, I need it written"
"How so?"
"For Passion, of course"
"Passion?"
"Yeah, Passion, the component watching over Crime Alley, it loves reading stories but only when they're worth it. It doesn't like when people give them stories only to please it or for it to give them undeserved attention. It needs to be good and interesting, a story about two hunters will definitely do that"
The two hunters met each other's eyes, both their expressions filled with worry, apprehension and suspicion.
"And why all the other rules? Why does have to be so long and accurate?"
The girl tilted her head, looking at them as though they've said something stupid "Because you're introducing yourself, maybe"
"I can't just tell you guys all there is to know about the Bat without at least one of the components acknowledging you guys and giving me permission to share that information with outsiders"
"And what makes you think it won't just kill us as soon as it realizes what we do for a living?" They might've been desperate, but that doesn't mean they're going to give an essay about their weaknesses and hunting methods to a freaky, probably homicidal spirit on a silver platter
"Because they like people like you, people who put their lives on the line in order to help those around them. Also" she leveled her gaze with Dean's, which was pretty impressive considering she barely reached his hip "Had it wanted you dead, you wouldn't have been able to take two steps inside Crime Alley without having a heart attack, or your head magically disappearing"
The two brothers tensed, the taller's eyes rapidly scanning their surroundings, hands fishing out a weird cellular device, probably an EMF reader or maybe a bottle of holy water, as the shorter failed to keep up his confident facade in front of the (probably) ten year old (because Dean isn't going to be spooked by a kid that hasn't even reached the double digits yet, he's 𝘯𝘰𝘵)
The little girl laughed, completely ignoring their - very justified!!! - panic "Relax, would ya? Passion doesn't kill people unless they feel like it's necessary"
They didn't seem to be very relaxed, she didn't care, she just told them to meet her again on the border of Crime Alley and its neighbor city in a week, before leaving.
Two hours later, Carrie Kelley was skipping into the main living room of Wayne Manor, where several of her siblings played video games and with their father reading the newspaper on the side, the perfect illusion of a normal, happy, completely human family.
She walked up to Bruce, sitting on the arm of his sofa as the last of her illusion magic slipped away
"Did you do it?"
"I offered them the deal, still not sure if they'll end up actually agreeing to it"
"Mn. You did well"
The young teen preened under the praise, thanking her father before going off to boast and scheme with the rest of her siblings, they were up planning contingencies and devising plans until Sundown.
#cryptid batfam#spn x Batman#dean winchester#sam winchester#dean and sam#dean and sam winchester#sam and dean#sam and dean winchester#the winchester brothers#winchester brothers#carrie kelley#robin#jason todd#red hood#bruce wayne#batman#batfam#batfamily#bat family#batkids#bat kids#batdad#gotham city#gothamites#gothamite#crime alley#supernatural#spn#dcu#dc
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I read a few but I am kinda soft for the idea of System!SY but like a player in a Video game.
Specifically I am thinking of the game Off! Where the player is their own entity the character it kinda aware of.
So SY dies and wakes up when Binghe lands in the abyss. He is given the objective to help Binghe out of the Abyss and steer him towards the best ending!!!
SY is excited because he!!! Gets to help Binghe!!
Binghe is pissed his seal came off and now he is being ordered around by some green spirit. His powers are still sealed and slowly being released by said kinda annoying ghost.
The worst part other then the Ghost being overly excited to be in Hell and seemed to be too elated about one of the worst fucking moments of his life-
The Ghost is actually fucking helpful. ‘Shen Yuan’ (what a fucking joke to give him a ‘Shen’ as a guide) knows more about monsters and their weaknesses, has an idea on what is edible what isn’t, he knows what plants to avoid, what areas are safe- and he also seems to genuinely want to keep him safe.
SY has a the video game advantage of either knowing when attacks are coming or knowing how heavy an attack will be. He also knows what Binghe can do at anytime/is controlling the attacks to some extent- either pokemon style or like the game OFF! Where is auto attacks or manual where Binghe can’t attack unless SY! Chooses.
For the first little bit Binghe resists or does the opposite where SY directs him only to- shockingly- get hit.
So I feel like for the longest time they were just at odds and bickering before SY puts it on auto and just plays it like a turn based game. Like for him sometimes time is slower except for Binghe, so he has faster reactions and honestly is more in canon with the “protagonist halo”. Where he can spend points and has his own little influence if things are dire otherwise he is more or less following his favorite protagonist through the story.
And Being such a big Binghe fan he is more than happy to just Let Binghe have the power only taking control when things look dire. He is the biggest hype man, offering information and support, offering insight or knowledge only him as a strange green figment that only Binghe can see.
He vanishes when Binghe flirts with women though. He goes off and explores or watches monsters, he hated this aspect of the book and if Binghe wants then he should- he only gets protective and sticks around if he feels like Binghe is getting taken advantage of- (though the first few times Binghe snapped at him and told him to scram- so he did in his own pissy fit) they go right back to Bickering but fuck SY still cares and he kinda likes how he can see this part of Binghe’s story.
They can’t go far from each other (I am thinking about as far as camera can scroll out) but SY can turn off audio and stuff on his side.
Though eventually Binghe just starts to trust SY. If SY says right he is moving right, if SY says between the eyes his sword is inbetween their eyes, if SY says run and hide he vanishes from the field. Because for all the bitching, raging and ranting- Binghe does notice a lot is on his sake.
And you know…. In the Abyss he isn’t alone. He isn’t figuring this shit out by himself he has someone who floats next to him asking what he wants to improve. Attack? Speed? Health? He has someone that he can mentally connect with and they just both viciously attack low IQ villian and plots where only they can hear.
The angst that the only person to interact with SY is Binghe. Who he can’t hold when Binghe has nightmares, who he can only heal if he has the resources and to produce medicine/fast heal, but is also the only person who sees and hears SY. So if he is ignoring SY- SY is alone- and I think deep down he is a social person. Binghe is subjected to a flood of questions SY wants to ask.
And Binghe has one person who cares about him and is always at his side (even forced SY never implies he feels forced in fact he seems always excited to be next to Binghe)- and Binghe can’t touch him, can’t feed him (‘I would love to try your food- but I can’t.’), can’t cherish him.
SY who is nice, who is considerate, compassionate, he cursed like he lives in a brothel and rages like a demon- but he also scolds Binghe for ignoring people, he snaps when Binghe doesn’t actually help- just takes what he wants and leaves, he believes Binghe is so much better for the world if he only got over himself and stopped thinking with his rage and anger. He thinks Binghe is smart, he thinks Binghe is strong, he thinks even half demon- Binghe is meant to be good.
What a kick in the stomach.
They can’t touch but Shen Yuan is trying his fucking best to get Binghe through hell. He apologizes for bad calls, he gets better himself, he takes his hands off the reigns but I think there are times he can’t help it. They fight, they talk, they are together.
Shen Yuan always loves Binghe and maybe he still ends up a little blackened but Binghe is quietly determined to make SY corporal. Pull him from that control panel and somewhere Binghe can hold him close. Maybe tuck him away in a nice little cottage where there is a little farm and greenhouse with all the plants SY can tend to, bookshelves filled to the brim with books and stories, in a place where SY can see all sorts of creatures to his hearts content.
The “Video Game” character being protective of their “player”
SY being a rage gamer also is so funny to me, Binghe is the only one he hears the absolute filth and insults SY throws at their enemies and frankly he either repeats it or relents that he isn’t as creative.
Binghe maybe not aware of his protagonist halo but aware of the little green ghost who can just barely manipulate the world if Binghe is in enough trouble. Shen Yuan being the only one who gets quests and updates of things Binghe needs to do and being limited on what he can tell Binghe.
The soft apologies when SY can’t control where they go or what happens can only help Binghe respond.
This is long and I am still pulling thoughts but I am slowly getting brain rot
#svsss#shen quingqiu#luo binghe#bingqui#binggeyuan#Binghe is still a fuck boy he just has to deal with a pouty 21st century nerd#he does no wrong in SY’s eyes but SY still calls him out when he is being an asshole#he is the only one not scared of Binghe#Binghe can be the biggest asshole and SY is just as big of an asshole back#Binghe can’t touch him and he is kinda the source of Binghe’s power#idk I am cooking
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Ok so I was wondering if you could write a Fred Weasley X sarcastic hufflepuff reader and everyone kinda wonders how shes a hufflepuff because she comes off as bitchy but like she super caring with Fred and he’s like the only one that really sees that side of her
Hi Anon! I have to admit I got a little carried away with this one (what’s new). I started writing just a normal fic but it grew beyond measure because I fell in love with the snarky little Hufflepuff I was writing. I hope you enjoy! 🖤
**Part 2 is is HERE**
**important: I wrote this in mind following a masquerade ball that had already happened within the story to mark the anniversary of Hogwarts. **
Warnings: Unrequited love, idiots in love, friends to lovers all the usual divine tropes. Happy ending I promise. Minor sexual references, 1 mention of masturbation, George fancies Angelina. Slight angst? We have a massive crush on Freddie. Bonus points for anyone who knows where the title is from.
Word count: 3.8k (Oops I did it again)
But who can name the face?
"Nerds," you nod in greeting, a wide grin plastered on your face as you barge through their dorm room door, smirking to the two twins who sit hunched over their creations, trying to perfect a new product. George's nose was almost pressed into the book he was reading and Fred was tinkering with something you couldn't make out, probably an explosive of some sort. You jump onto George's bed, the closest one to you and kick off your shoes.
"Make yourself at home," George snarks, shooting a playful glance to you.
"Thanks Georgie I will," you beam, purposefully ignoring the sarcasm dripping from his words. He rolls his eyes with a smile before focusing back on the page.
"Earth to Fred?" You say, noticing a few moments later that he hadn't greeted you. You frown, hearing nothing back and George shoots a glance to you again before turning to his twin, kicking him swiftly in the shin.
"Git," Fred mutters, rubbing his shin and finally noticing that you were here.
"Hello to you too," you snark, watching as his eyes squint mockingly at you.
"Sorry your ladyship, didn't realise you required my full attention," he snarks, expecting a reaction that he doesn't get.
"Well I do," you nod, your voice and face completely blank until you erupt in a smirk that he mirrors.
"What are you working on?"
"Wait how did you get in here? You're a Hufflepuff!" George gestures to the Gryffindor boys dormitory you're sat in, but your face reveals nothing. Fred knows because of course he does, you've been here more times than you can count but George is usually not here when you sneak in.
"I believe I asked a question first, but if you must know," you lean in towards George, acting as if you were going to reveal an entire catalogue of secrets to him. "I'm a witch."
The deep sigh that George lets out only increases your devilish smile that you share with Fred, widening still when you hear him burst with laughter, the sound of his boisterous laugh filling your body with warmth. He had the most gorgeous laugh and you couldn't help but admire how handsome he looked when he laughed, eyes shining.
"Sodding woman," George mutters under his breath as he picks up the book again, pretending to read. You don't miss the smirk that's threatening to slip from his lips that he's trying so hard to conceal, making you feel a little victorious.
"So back to me, what are you working on?"
"Love potions," Fred says absently, as if it wasn't a big deal.
Your stomach roils dangerously, a sinking feeling settling in your lower tummy as Fred's words.
"Love potions?" You repeat, hardly hiding the frown on your face. You look between the twins but they offer nothing in the way of clues. Fred finally looks up to you again, shrugging slightly as he explains.
"Figured we could start selling them at the shop, break into the girly market. These are just drafts, we realised early on we don't have a bloody clue what we're doing with them."
"Draft draughts?" You joke, squashing down any uneasy feelings you felt. George snorts and Fred chuckles at your words as he nods, enjoying the stupid pun.
"Fancy helping a mate out?" He asks, trying to reel you into helping with whatever he was tinkering with, holding his hand out for you to take. "Could do with your expertise little badger."
You roll your eyes at the nickname but hop off George's bed to grab his hand, letting him lead you over to look at his little experiment, seeing a kind of heart shaped bottle that he was trying to transfigure. You offer to help him transfigure it into more of a heart and somehow manage to tint the glass pink which they both like.
"So why the sudden need to break into the girly market?" You ask, head cocked slightly as you look upon the bottle that you're quite proud of.
"Got love on the brain doesn't he," George says with a laugh, only to duck a moment later when Fred lobs a book at his head.
"What?" You ask, trying to sound neutral but fearing you were failing miserably.
"Met a girl the other night didn't he, hasn't shut up about her since," George adds, clearly unbothered by Fred's reaction as he ducks another flying object thrown by his bemused twin.
"You wouldn't shut up about her if you met her," he grumbles, cheeks filling with a vibrant blush. "Didn't even know girls could be that attractive, she was perfect mate."
"What from the half of her face that you saw?" George snarks, a loud 'ow' echoing through the room as he fails to duck this time.
You don't hear anymore, your heart pounding in your chest and you feel sick almost instantly, the room seeming to spin around you. Fred had met someone at the masquerade ball.
The Masquerade Ball was an extravagant affair marking the one thousandth year of Hogwarts since the founding of the school in 996AD. In honour of the ancient traditions, a masquerade ball had been held which would bring all the students together regardless of their assorted houses. You could be as anonymous as you wished, no need to disclose your house or your name and dates were not permitted in an effort to unite the school free from the usual restrictions that naturally came from house only events. Due to the enchantments upon the school, the masks were implemented to hide your identity for the night with made everything even more magical. You'd had a wonderful night, second only to the Yule ball though you really couldn't compare them.
You remembered now that you hadn't seen Fred all night, not for your lack of trying and now it all makes sense why. You need to get out before the tears really start, your world feeling like it was crumbling around you.
"Sorry, forgot about my potions work," you say quickly, reaching for your shoes and rushing out of the door before either of them could notice your tears.
You barely make it out of Gryffindor tower when your tears begin to stream down your face, lip wobbling as their words echo through your mind. You run to the nearest bathroom, praying that it's empty and rush into a cubicle to allow yourself some privacy in your heartbroken state.
You'd had a crush of Fred Weasley forever. The unlikely pair that you were, the hufflepuff and the Gryffindor brought together by mischief. You'd started falling for him in your second year but managed to keep it quiet, to push it away and keep it hidden in the hopes that it would fade over time... but it didn't. By your fourth year you had a full blown crush and by your fifth you were convinced you loved him. Every summer you wished that upon your return to school that your feelings would have disappeared or at least faded but the second that he'd smile at you, throwing his arm around you in a warm greeting you knew that your hoping was pointless. You'd spent years perfecting your ability to hide your feelings from him, torturing yourself in private to allow you to keep feelings-free around him. You reasoned that it was better to have him in your life as a best friend than to be without him completely and you were fine with that, at least until now. There's never been another girl as far as you remembered. Sure his friendship with Angelina sometimes made you jealous but you were sure that George fancied her and Fred was just trying to rile him up most of the time to get a reaction. But this mystery girl, he'd fallen for him without even knowing her, without even seeing her full face. She's stolen him away from you without a single thought and you didn't even know who she was to hate her.
Once you'd gotten most of your feelings out, you thought of the one thing that had kept you going all week. The irony of the situation wasn't lost on you, but it was different for you.
You'd also met someone at the ball, the masked man with the black hair and robes so entrancing that he'd actually made you forget about Fred entirely for the short time you spent together. He had a magic laugh, magnetic really that made you feel drawn to him even without knowing anything about him. You'd felt connected to him instantly, even as your eyes searched for Fred in the crowd of people but finding nothing. At least now you knew where he was.
You let out a sigh, wiping your last couple of tears with the sleeve of your robe as you took deep breaths to steady yourself. How could you go on from this? The masked man had been your dirty little secret that you'd never intended to go anywhere, as much as he kept sneaking into your mind.
Fred Weasley would never be yours. It was a fact, as excruciating as it was to admit. Someone else had turned his head, not that he was ever really looking at you and all you could do is sit back and watch with thoughts of your mystery man to keep you company.
You managed to avoid Fred and George for the next two days pretty successfully. You weren't as popular as them but you had some good friends in Hufflepuff that you chose to sit with at meal times and stayed within the common room for most of your free time, knowing that Fred and George couldn't find you there.
"Are you coming to dinner?" One of your friends asks, waiting for you in the common room as you finish up the chapter of the book you were reading.
"Yeah sure," you say, placing in your bookmark and casting your book onto the side.
You follow her out of the common room past the barrels into the dark corridor and scream as you're dragged away by two strong figures. You look back to your friend in alarm seeing her mouth a half-hearted 'sorry' and try to fight off your attackers, quickly getting the sense of who was manhandling you.
"Put me down, idiots!" You say struggling against their weirdly strong grasps, not stopping until you were placed onto a bench in the next corridor. You look up and see Fred and George towering over you, their eyes fixed into hard stares as they look at you, Fred with his arms crossed and George with his hands in his pockets, shoulders stiff.
"You've been avoiding us," George accuses, openly saying the words that you knew were true. You can't bring yourself to deny it, or avoid the question, all you can think is how to make an excuse that would explain it all.
"No excuses," Fred says, clearly reading your face. Damn him for knowing you so bloody well.
"I've been busy," you say, lifting an eyebrow at them.
"Yeah, busy avoiding us," Fred says, his lips pursing a little as he looks down at you.
"Busy doing school work," you counter.
"Oh yeah what class?" George asks, though you can tell in his void that he's not falling for it one bit.
"All of them," you say, quickly adding, "you know I get surprisingly little work done when I'm with you two, funny that."
"Yeah nice one, tell it to my mother," Fred says completely deadpan. You sigh, knowing you're not going to get out of this one alive.
"I've just been busy," you say, lowering your barriers a little but keeping that little confession of love stored neatly tucked away where it would never come out no matter how open you were being. "Needed a couple of days to myself... people were starting to think I was a Gryffindor."
Fred's face remains unchanged but you can see the ghost of a smile pulling at George's face.
"It wasn't you, I just had a lot going on," you say with complete honesty, well maybe not complete.
"Needed a couple of days to get my head together, I've been drowning in homework and I'm think I'm failing charms. I honestly just needed a couple of days to sort myself out before they send an owl home and my parents would know how much in disappointing them."
Okay so not a complete lie, but not the complete truth either.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Fred says, his harsh glaze slipping from his face as he crouched down beside the bench you're sat on, his head still inline with yours at his astronomical height. George relaxes in front of you, scooting you across so he can sit on the other side of the bench. You feel awful essentially lying to them, though it was more altered truth but you could face them knowing, especially Fred.
"Embarrassed, mortified, horrified, you choose."
"It's us, you don't need to be embarrassed with us," George says softly. Usually your relationship was filled with vicious banter so seeing him so soft and kind with you was nice if not a little off putting.
"Anyway, now I have you back," Fred says with a smirk blooming on his face.
"We," George adds, shooting a look to his twin.
"Eh? Oh yeah... how come you never told us your common room was down here?! You could have been sneaking us treats this whole time!"
"Would have saved our legs many a trip to the kitchens!"
"Length of your legs it only takes three steps," you quip back to George who smiles widely.
"There she is," Fred says smiling at you. It's a beaming smile, eyes glimmering and it makes your heart burst to know that it's all for you. Fred suddenly stands, holding out his hand for you to take as you hop off the bench but to your surprise he doesn't let go and instead pulls you away, still holding your hand as you walk around the corner to the kitchen corridor, passing the painting of the silver fruit bowl that conceals the entrance to the kitchens.
"See all those times you've apparently come up to our room, could have brought the snacks," george says, bumping your shoulder as he nods to the door as you make your way past it. "All you have to do is," George says, walking in sync and surprisingly saying nothing at his brother's hand in yours.
"If you think I'm going to stop and tickle the pear every time I come to see you," you begin to say, only to be cut off by Fred.
"You can tickle my pair anytime, babe."
"Shove off Weasley," you say with a bite, trying to recover from his words quickly and fight off the blush that threatens your heating cheeks as they laugh amongst themselves.
"Well if you're offering," George says from the other side, to which you side step and hold out your foot, causing him to trip. He catches himself quickly before he falls but it's still pretty funny, as made apparent by yours and Fred's laughter.
"Thought you Hufflepuffs were supposed to be nice!"
"Coming from you?" You counter, sending a frown towards him, able to list off the top of your head a multitude of times he'd pranked someone, caused damage or injury and that was mainly just to yourself.
"She is nice," Fred quickly defends, shooting his brother a dung-eating grin, "to me at least."
You chuckle and carry on walking, watching out for George's revenge.
"Hold up, wait here," Fred suddenly says, coming to an abrupt halt near the main atrium. He grabs your arm to stop you, his hand breaking free from yours as he holds up a finger and runs back down the corridor.
You watch his figure disappear and squeeze your now unoccupied hand, your body already missing his touch. Truthfully the past few days had been torture being away from them, namely Fred, but it was necessary to contain the feelings that has threatened to burst out of you like a broken remembrall.
Suddenly there's a gasp to your side and you spin around quickly on your heel to face George, who is looking at you with wide eyes and a Zouwu like grin etched upon his face. You frown in confusion, not knowing what he's looking at until your entire body fills with dread with his next words.
"You're in love with him!"
You panic, not knowing what to do with the information. You can hardly deny it, it would be impossible to hide from George now he knew and you're certain that your reaction has given you away, so you go to the next default setting: threats.
"One word comes out of your mouth to anyone and I'll tell Angelina that I walked in on you wanking over her!"
George faces pales for a second before his cheeks heat up with a vivid red blush that spreads the full length of his face.
"But that didn't."
"Your old friend... Angelina Johnson... the Qudditch team captain," you say, ignoring his looks as you tilt your voice to sound more and more disgusted at his behaviour with every passing word.
"What? You can't."
"Naked on a broom, George Weasley! Could you be any more depraved?"
"Alright fine!" He says, holding his hands up in surrender, not wanting to push you further and find out that you weren't bluffing.
"I won't say anything to Fred," he promises, looking genuine in his agreement.
It's awkward now, the silence that follows as you come to terms that George is in on your secret now.
You don't look at him any longer, instead fixing your gaze to the stone floor as you consider the implications. Had you looked at George, you'd have noticed him battling with himself, fighting over what to say next. It wasn't his secret to tell, he shouldn't even be considering breaking him twin's confidence but the look on your face right now was enough to break whatever morality he had.
"You know... he's," George begins to say, your gaze drifting up towards him as you look into his eyes, expecting laughter or mocking but finding none.
"He's what?" You ask, confused about his sudden stop, eyes widening.
"He's coming."
"I was only gone for a minute, you two haven't fallen out already have you?" Fred jokes, his pockets clearly stuffed with treats that he'd acquired from the kitchens.
"No," you and George say at precisely the same time. So much for not looking suspicious. Fred trots off ahead urging you both to follow and you do so willingly and silently, hardly trusting yourself to speak in that moment as you feel George's eyes on you.
"Everything alright with y/n earlier? She seemed upset when I got back. Are you sure you didn't say anything to her?" Fred asks, taking off his tie and his school shirt as he undresses for bed, calling to George who's doing the same on the other side of the room.
"I didn't say anything mate," George says, "reckon you're thinking about her too much."
"Just being a friend," Fred says, perhaps a little too quickly.
"Well between 'being a friend' to y/n and your mystery woman, you certainly are doing a lot of thinking... reckon if you ignore one of them you might finally figure out that love potion," George says grinning as he climbs into bed.
"Shove off," Fred says, climbing into his own bed and pulling the curtain across with a harsh shove. He lays in bed unsettled for what seems like hours, his mind spinning between his friend and his mystery woman, realising with a sad conclusion that he'd gotten absolutely nowhere with either one of them.
♡
Fred Weasley was certain that his eyes had never been blessed enough to look upon something so captivating, so enchanting that it made his mouth dry. There was a sea of people around dressed in their fanciest clothes, an opulent symphony of colour and glitter, yet she stood out amongst the crowd like a singular lighthouse in a vast, dark ocean.
He was enthralled by the way her dress moved, clinging perfectly to her figure, highlighting the delicate curves and lines of her body whilst staying modest. It was arousing, the way her dress offered so much but showed so little, Fred's imagination running wild of what lay underneath.
She was beautiful, the most beautiful woman Fred had even laid eyes upon, he was certain. Her dress shining under the twinkling lights, her seductive smile and those eyes that seemed to twinkle all on their own even without the glistening reflection of the lights above her.
He was certain that he was the luckiest bloke in the room; that every other male was envious of the way his hand was wrapped tightly around her waist. But he didn't care what anyone thought or of their jealousy in the moment, he just couldn't believe his luck. They were pulled together as if my an invisible string, finding each other quickly as the music played around them, the soft lights acting like a runway between them both, eyes connecting almost immediately.
"Are you going to tell me your name?" He asks with a smirk, losing himself in her eyes as they seem to glimmer even more at his words.
"I don't think that's how masquerade balls work," she says with a laugh, earning a chuckle from him.
"What about your house?" He follows up, needing to know something about her even if it's tangible evidence.
The smile she flashes him makes him almost dizzy, sparkling eyes peering up at him from beneath her mask.
"Only if you can guess it," she counters, leading him down a dark path of guessing who she might be.
"Sorry I think you've hit your limit on questions," she says as the song changes. "Perhaps I could ask you some?"
"You can ask me anything... except my name," he smirks from under his mask, his tongue peeking out to wet his lips briefly under your gaze.
"Are you single?"
His laughter is contagious and she finds herself chuckling along with him as his hand at her waist squeezes her tighter momentarily for her cheekiness.
"Definitely," he replies softly, though he can't help but feel a little stab at the thought of his best friend, wishing for years that he could say that he wasn't single in the slightest.
♡
Fred wakes with a start, confused for a moment as to his whereabouts having jumped so quickly from his dream to reality. He was back there again, his mind so fixed on his mystery woman that every dream was a recollection of that night, though this time he was certain that there was something different. Had his mystery date always sounded so much like y/n?
Part 2 anyone?
#emeritusemeritus#emeritusemerituswrites#harry potter#fred weasley#fred weasley x reader#fred weasley x you#fred weasley imagine#fred weasley masterlist#requests#requests completed#anon answered
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Of Butterflies and Backstrokes Part 11
Hey guys! We're back!! It is feeling like this story is almost done, but every time I finish a chapter I go "This has two more chapters in it, I'm almost done!" and I've done that for the last three chapters. So I have given up trying to figure out when it's going to end. Hopefully the answer is sometime before the next Olympics.
In this we have a silly Eddie, Steve and Max are sneaky, and Max and Eddie have their first competition.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10
~
Steve continued to have good days and bad days, but always Eddie and Robin were there to help him work through the bad. And then he would spill it all out to Dr. Hughes.
Today he had been able to wade out to Max in the main pool to correct her foot work. The water had come up to his chest, just like it did in the kiddie pool.
“All right,” Steve said gently. “I’m going to touch your leg. If you feel uncomfortable in anyway, I’ll have Robin do it instead, okay?”
Max thought about it for a moment. “But just my leg right?”
“Just your ankle even,” he assured her. “Ready?”
Max waded over to the side of the pool and started kicking her feet to level out her body. Steve gently grabbed her ankle and repositioned her foot so it was more like an extension of her leg.
“Whoa!”
“That’s right,” he said, “now keep it like that.”
Robin and Eddie who had been working in the endless pool came back to the main pool just as Steve was pulling his shirt back on.
Eddie eyed the wet swim trunks and the happily kicking Max and a sly smile spread over his face. “Stevie... you wouldn’t have happened to have gotten into the pool with Max would you have?”
Steve batted his eyelashes innocently. “Who me?” He turned to Max. “Did you see me get into the pool?”
“Nope!”
Eddie knelt on the side of the pool and said, “I’ll buy you ice cream for the next month if you tell me if he got in the pool.”
Robin sneaked up behind him and with Max’s help pulled him into the water as gently as they could, as to not trigger Steve.
It must have worked because when they all came up for air, Steve was doubled over with laughter.
“Absolute menaces the lot of you,” he said once he caught his breath. “I got the competition schedule for next week. Max is in beginner and Eddie in intermediate. I tried to argue for higher, but they because you’ve been out for so long, they want you in there first to see if you have room to grow.”
Eddie wiped the water off of his face. “That’s fair. I don’t think I’m ready for higher yet anyway.”
Steve gave him a fond look. “And then that’s what we’ll do. If you don’t feel comfortable competing at above intermediate yet, then I won’t force you. I just worry they’ll accuse of you of deliberately choosing lower to spank fifteen and sixteen year olds.”
Eddie blinked at him for a moment.
“Oh.”
He went to go shove his hair in front of his face, but it was all tucked away in his cap, so he started to sink into the water.
Steve, Robin, and Max all watched as he held his breath under water.
“So how long do you think he can hold his breath?” Max asked after about a minute. “Because I think cell death happens after three minutes.”
“Eh...” Robin said waving her hand back and forth, “about four to five, actually.”
Just then Eddie burst through the water, gasping for air. He wiped the water away and looked around. “So is anyone going to be nice and completely forget that happened?”
All three of them shared glances with each other and then said together, “No.”
Eddie buried his head in his hands. He slunk off to his lane with a sigh. “Woe! Woe is me! For I have been forsaken by my own team. Woe!”
Steve and Max shared a glance.
“Is he always this dramatic?” Max asked, eyeing Eddie splashing about and moaning about his fate or some shit.
Robin scoffed as she pulled herself out of the pool and rotated to sit on its edge. “This is tame for him, if I’m being honest.”
Eddie stopped his sputtering and turned to her quickly. “I? I am dramatic?” Then he made a sweeping bow, nearly face planting into the water. “Why thank you!”
Everyone giggled but Max and Eddie got back into their lanes and started practicing again. Robin got up and went to go stand by Steve.
“I’m glad you were able to help Max on your own,” she murmured. “But just remember, if you can’t, call and I’ll coming running, okay?”
“Okay.”
~
It was their first swim meet and Robin wasn’t sure who was more nervous, Max and Eddie or Steve.
She was sure that that pen lid would be a mangled, tangled up mess by the time this was over with.
She looked around the room, spotting a few friends, the Hell Squad from their own facility, and one very unfriendly face indeed.
Billy Hargrove.
Billy Hargrove was a swimmer from California and he thought living on the coast instantly made you a better swimmer. He even had that bit of surfer boy charm. You’d expect this blond haired, blued eyed, tan Adonis to start singing Beach Boys or some shit, but no.
Billy Hargrove was an ass. And he hated all the comparisons between him and Steve at the last Olympics. Dude went on to barely win bronze in two of five events and not medal in any of the others.
Today he was wearing a red and gold coach’s jacket with HARGROVE emblazoned on the back with two blonds standing next him as he talked them in low voices. One was a girl with strawberry blonde hair, green eyes, and bright smile. The other was a guy that looked about the same age as the girl. He looked like he had walked out the pages of Good Christians R Us. Hair neatly cut, blue eyes, chiseled jaw and washboard abs.
Robin hated them both on sight.
She was about to steer Steve away from all that when Billy looked up immediately clocked Steve, who promptly stiffened.
Max and Eddie who were talking to him noticed the sudden change in Steve’s demeanor. And unlike the locker room with Andy, Eddie could tell that this was a different breed of shark coming their way.
“Stevie...” Billy greeted. “When I saw the name Harrington I was wondering if that was you and then here you are. Such a pleasant surprise.”
Robin and Steve shared a bitchy glance. “Pleasant isn’t the word I would use,” Steve scoffed.
“You actually getting in the water, Harrington, or are you going to bitch out again?” Billy went on as if Steve hadn’t said a word.
Steve seethed. Billy had been present the first time he tried to get into the pool after his accident and started screaming.
“Don’t worry, darlin’,” Eddie said with a grin, “Stevie here doesn’t need to get in the water to beat you. He has me.”
Billy looked him up and down and he looked impressed for all of two seconds before he scoffed. “I didn’t think they allowed boys with such pretty curls,” he said tugging on one of the strands. Eddie swatted his hand away. “Maybe you should be on the girls’ team.”
“Last time I checked,” Eddie huffed, “I have the balls for the men’s team. Can’t say the same for the asshole who came up and harassed a guy that had his Olympic dreams washed away because of faulty equipment that left him traumatized and hurt for life, but still loves to swim so much that he would rather coach then to walk away forever.”
Billy’s face twisted in rage and he opened his mouth to reply when the whistle sounded. He jabbed a finger in Eddie’s face. “We’re not done.”
He walked off and suddenly all the tension built up in Steve escaped like a deflated balloon.
“That guy is a dick,” Max hissed. “My mom used to date a guy just like him out in Cali. Wouldn’t surprise me if they were related.”
That made Steve laugh. “I’ll beat him where I’ve always beaten him, in the water. Now come on, it’s time for you two to hit the showers. The beginners are about to start. You’re in the third heat, Max, first podium.”
She nodded and her and Eddie took off their team shirts and hit the showers. Steve looked over at Billy and smirked. Billy was watching every inch of Eddie’s body as he padded over to the showers that were next to the pool.
Robin handed him his bobby pins and he deftly put his hair under the cap, making it as sleek as any of the other male contestants.
The first set of eight girls lined up and then they were off with the shot of the starting gun. Steve watched, looking out for the girls that would be Max’s competition. So far none of the girls showed real promise and that included the girl who won.
The next heat was the same. None of the other girls had the same spark Max did. He looked up to the stands where the families were supposed to there to cheer them on. Robin’s parents were there. Eddie’s uncle, too. Of course Steve’s parents wouldn’t be there. He hadn’t talked them in so long.
He didn’t see the woman that would come to pick up Max and it made Steve squirm a bit. Then just before Max’s heat, he saw her come rushing in. Her hair was wild as if she had been running and she looked out of breath. She leaned over to whisper something to Wayne. Wayne shook his head and pointed to where Max was getting ready to get up on her podium.
Steve went over to her and pointed up at the stands.
Max’s eyes lit up and she waved at her mom. Her mom waved back. Max got up on her podium and put her goggles in place over her eyes. Steve stepped back and gave the judge with the gun a nod, showing that he had moved back far enough. Then the gun went off.
Max easily kept pace with the other girls and managed to squeak out winning by an arms length, touching her pad first.
She pulled off her goggles and looked at her time. She had clearly won. She started jumping and shrieking in the water. She pulled herself out and ran up to give Steve the biggest hug.
“I told you, you could do it,” Steve murmured into her cap.
“Yeah, yeah,” she huffed. “Nerd.”
They went through the next few heats and Max came in third overall in the girls division. Which considering it was her first meet, was very impressive.
Then it was time for the intermediate and as they watched the girls, Eddie began bouncing up and down to warm up his muscles.
“You ready to blow these people out of the water?” Steve asked with a grin. “I gave the organizers one last chance to put you in masters, but they wouldn’t do it.”
Eddie chuckled. “I don’t have the confidence you do in me, but hell yeah, I’m ready.”
Steve slapped him on the shoulder and watched as Eddie got up to the podium. He pulled the goggles over his eyes and turned away from the water.
This is what he loved most of all about the backstroke. Not facing the water or seeing his competitors out of the corners of his eyes. It was just him and waiting for the sound of the gun.
BANG!
And then he was arching backwards into the water, as smooth as silk. His arms and body worked with the water, slicing through like a hot knife through butter. He could hear the splashing of the other competitors but they all seemed so distant to himself. Not that they were that far away. Only that he felt on whole other realm then they were.
He touched the pad and peeled off his googles to look up at the clock.
He was in first place.
He was in first place.
He was in first place.
He looked up at the stands to see Mrs. Mayfield and Uncle Wayne on their feet and cheering for him. He raised his fist and they waved back excitedly.
It came as no surprise that he won best overall.
He was standing next to Steve celebrating with his team, when the judges came up to them.
“We would like to talk to you about moving up to the masters,” the first judge said with a grimace.
Eddie and Steve shared a knowing grin.
“I think that could be arranged,” Steve said, smug. The ‘I told you so’ lingering in the humid air of the pool.
~
Tag List: CLOSED
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hi his outfit is a fucking MESS rn but <3 bedi alter for your thoughts
#aaart#bedivere fgo#my sillyyyy <333#i have . notes about him in my brain#bc i think one of bedi's best attributes is his loyalty#but his loyalty isn't him yesmanning yknow? like he's WILLING to say this is wrong you shouldnt be doing this to arthur if needbe#but bedialter is that loyalty with the morality dial broken off#he does not give a shit if his master/whoever he's aligned with is evil or bad he is loyal to them over even his own sense of right and wro#also the misconception of bedi using dark magic is a real thing and VERY recent as far as i know#ive seen a lot of people claim very specifically that bedivere used dark magic or was a sorcerer and there was a story where he almost got#burned at the stake for it but arthur swooped in and saved him#but i can say with a good bit of certainty that there's no basis for that in the 'original' arthurian 'canon' bc i've never found anything#about it with a source#i may be wrong tho i'm autistic not a medievalist so .#anyway back on track. my pookie bedialter#mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah i wike him#his hair goes dark at the ends like that bc its another riot specific deep cut in that. his voice actor also acts for another white haired#character in another anime i like (konoha from mekakucity actors) and (spoilers for that ig) his character gets possessed and color swapped#so when he's possessed and getting sillay he's got dark hair and i thought it looked cute on bedi idk#i like him i might make changes here n there (and figure out his outfit more) but. im posting him now bc i think he's hot
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fouled by fate • aurelien tchouameni (10/10)
SYNOPSIS: Aurélien Tchouaméni, one of football’s rising stars, is used to navigating the pressures of the pitch—but nothing could prepare him for an arranged marriage. With his family’s legacy and cultural traditions at stake, Aurélien reluctantly agrees to marry a woman he barely knows. But as they’re thrust into the public eye, sparks fly in unexpected ways. The two must navigate the complexities of love, duty, and fame, all while figuring out if they’re playing on the same team—or if their hearts are destined for different paths.
PAIRINGS: Aurélien Tchouaméni x Zuri Awanto Nchang (faceclaim Samira Ahmed @/iamsamiira)
WARNINGS: cursing, football b.s., dry humor/wit, slight arguing, friends to lovers, instant attraction, angst, eventual smut (18+/minors dni)
TAGLIST: @trenterprise @f1-football-fiend @lettersofgold @hopefulromantic1 @deonn-jaelle @perfecttrashface @2serenity0 @muglermami @sucredreamer @julescpu @azzurvertz @greyishbach @shelovesfootie @certifiedlesbianbaddie @trinitoldyouso @bbgkoo @lottins-only @pepfectionary @peyiswriting @rosiesdior @yeea-nah @kj77 @imjustheretomanifest @judesvirtual
A/N: Next is the epilogue! Can you believe that this series is over?!!! I love writing about Aurelien and ZuZu, especially ZuZu because I struggle with my own issues with my father. Thank you so much for the love, support, and reblogs/comments. This chapter is fairly long and wraps up some loose ends (around 10K).
The fluorescent lights in the lawyer’s office buzzed quietly, a dull background noise that did nothing to calm Zuri’s frazzled nerves. She sat beside Aurélien, her hand resting in his as they listened to the lawyer explain the options. Words like restraining order and legal protection felt surreal, as if they belonged in someone else’s story, not hers. Filing something so drastic against her own father sounded insane. Yet, given everything he had done—from pushing her into an unwanted arranged marriage to weaponizing the police for a wellness check—it was beginning to feel necessary.
Zuri twisted her pendant necklace absentmindedly, her thoughts a tangled web of what-ifs. She glanced at Aurélien, whose jaw was set in a hard line. Even with his calm exterior, she could see the tension in his shoulders. He was angry, protective, and fiercely committed to shielding her from harm. It was a stark contrast to how they’d started—two strangers thrown together, expected to play house because of family politics.
But now? Now she couldn’t imagine a life without him.
Her stomach twisted as the lawyer outlined the legal proceedings they could take. Aurélien’s father had been speaking with the elders, trying to persuade them to end the arrangement entirely. The idea of the engagement being dissolved should have brought her relief, but instead, it filled her with dread. She didn’t want to be forced into anything, but being with Aurélien was no longer an obligation. It was a choice she made every day. The thought of their bond being broken felt like a knife twisting in her heart.
Aurélien squeezed her hand, pulling her back into the present. "We’ll figure this out," he said softly, his voice a comforting anchor in the chaos. She nodded, trying to believe him, even as anxiety gnawed at the edges of her resolve.
_______________________________________________
That weekend, Real Madrid faced off against Atlético in a match that left fans on edge. Normally, Zuri would be there, cheering for Aurélien from the stands, but today she stayed home. She couldn’t bring herself to face the crowd, the cameras, or the stress of pretending that everything was fine when her world felt like it was teetering on the edge of collapse.
Instead, she curled up on the sofa, tears slipping down her cheeks. The house felt empty without him, the silence amplifying the echo of her doubts. What if the elders did end their engagement? Would she be sent back to New York, forced to return to the life she’d left behind? And what would become of her and Aurélien? They hadn’t even discussed what it would mean for their future.
The front door clicked open, and she quickly wiped her tears away, but Aurélien noticed anyway. He dropped his bag and crossed the room in seconds, pulling her into his arms. "Mon cœur, what’s wrong?" he asked, his voice laced with worry. The match had ended in a frustrating draw, but the game felt insignificant compared to the sight of Zuri crying.
She leaned into him, her fingers clutching his shirt. "I’m scared," she admitted, her voice barely a whisper. "What if the elders break off our engagement? What happens then? Do I go back home? Do we just… end?"
Aurélien cupped her face in his hands, his eyes locking onto hers. "No," he said firmly. "You’re not leaving, Zuri. I don’t care what the elders decide. I love you, and I would never ask you to move out. This is your home too."
Tears welled up again, but this time they weren’t from fear. "But what if… what if we don’t survive this? What if it’s too much?"
He shook his head, his gaze unwavering. "We’re not breaking up. Do you hear me?" His voice softened, but the conviction remained. "You’re mine, and I’m yours. We’ll work through this, no matter what."
Zuri’s heart ached with the love she felt for him, even as uncertainty loomed over them like a dark cloud. She pressed her forehead against his, drawing strength from his determination. "I love you," she whispered.
"I love you too," he replied, kissing her as if he could kiss away all her worries.
The kiss deepened, heat spreading between them as Zuri moaned softly into Aurélien’s mouth. Her hands moved up to tangle in his hair, tugging gently, and he groaned, his grip on her waist tightening. As the kiss grew more urgent, Zuri’s fingers slid down to the hem of his shirt, slipping underneath to feel the hard planes of his stomach. Aurélien pulled back slightly, his breath ragged, and stared at her with darkened eyes.
"You're too emotional right now, chérie," he murmured, his voice a husky warning.
Zuri looked at him, her pupils dilated with need. "But Aurélien—"
He shook his head. "No. I don’t want you to feel like you have to do this."
Her lips parted, a frustrated sigh escaping. "I want this, Aurélien. I want you… please… I need you right now." Her voice wavered with desperation, and they found themselves in a stalemate, gazing at each other, the air between them crackling.
Aurélien let out an exasperated groan, his resolve slipping. He crushed his mouth against hers, one arm wrapping around her waist to lower her onto the rug. He paused just long enough to ask, "Where’s Zeus?"
"In his crate," Zuri answered, her voice breaking into a breathy moan as Aurélien pressed kisses along the column of her neck, his lips and tongue worshipping her sensitive skin.
"Good girl," he praised, his voice a deep rumble. His hands slid under her tank top, lifting it up and over her head to reveal her pierced nipples. His eyes darkened with desire. "I love these piercings so fuckin’ much," he murmured before capturing one of her hardened buds in his mouth. Zuri arched her back, her moans growing louder as he teased her breasts, his tongue swirling around the metal and his teeth grazing the sensitive flesh.
Aurélien lingered there, sucking and nibbling until she was trembling beneath him, then he sat back on his haunches to yank off his t-shirt. Zuri, her body alight with anticipation, wasted no time pulling down her shorts and panties in one swift motion. Her eyes traced the muscles of his chest as he removed his basketball shorts and boxers, his erection springing free.
He leaned forward, his fingers slipping between her thighs, teasing her slick folds. Zuri let out a cry, her hips bucking as he rubbed her clit in slow, torturous circles. She was panting, breathless, her body begging for more. Aurélien smirked, withdrawing his fingers and bringing them to his mouth, tasting her.
Zuri reached out to grab his arm as he began to stand. "Where are you going?" she asked, her voice almost a whine.
"To get a condom," he said.
"No." Her hand tightened on his arm.
"No?" he echoed, one eyebrow arched in confusion.
"It’s fine, Aurélien," she insisted, her voice husky with desire.
His expression grew serious. "ZuZu, we’ve been playing around too much to—"
"Please…" She looked up at him with wide, pleading eyes, her bottom lip caught between her teeth. "Just pull out."
Aurélien scoffed, mildly irritated. "I can barely pull out, Zu."
"Then don’t," she whispered, her voice sultry and tempting. "We can get a Plan B tomorrow."
He sucked his teeth, clearly conflicted, but the way she was looking at him made it hard to say no. He let out a long breath, finally relenting. "You’re risking it," he muttered, though his body betrayed his mind.
Zuri smiled, tugging him back down on top of her. "Please," she whispered again, her voice a soft, irresistible plea.
Aurélien shook his head but didn’t refuse. Instead, he grabbed one of her legs, wrapping it around his waist as he positioned himself. With a slow thrust, he slid inside her, and Zuri’s moan filled the room. He stilled for a moment, savoring the sensation of being buried so deeply in her warmth, then began to move, each stroke more forceful than the last.
They moved together, their bodies in perfect sync, Zuri’s nails raking down his back as he drove her to the brink of pleasure. "Merde," Aurélien grunted, the heat coiling low in his stomach as he fought to hold back. But Zuri’s whispered pleas and the way she clenched around him made it impossible to resist.
His thrusts grew erratic, his breath heavy in her ear. Zuri’s cries echoed in the room as she shattered around him, her body shuddering with pleasure. Aurélien followed moments later, his release crashing over him as he spilled inside her, a hoarse “Fuck,” escaping his lips.
They stayed tangled together on the rug, their bodies slick with sweat, chests heaving as they came down from the high. Aurélien pressed his forehead against hers, his hands cradling her face. "I love you so much," he murmured, the words a raw confession.
______________________________________________
Their moment of solace was shattered a day later when the news broke. A sleazy tabloid published an article about the police visiting Aurélien’s home. The headline screamed accusations, twisting the narrative to make him look like a potential abuser. It was a deliberate leak, and they both knew who was behind it.
Aurélien was furious, his hands clenching into fists as he paced the living room. "This could ruin me," he muttered, his voice tight with rage. "My reputation, my career… all because of your father."
Zuri’s heart ached with guilt and helplessness. "I’m so sorry," she whispered, feeling the weight of everything pressing down on them.
He stopped and pulled her into his arms, his touch fierce but loving. "This isn’t your fault," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "We’ll fix this."
Luckily, Real Madrid’s PR team acted swiftly, putting out a statement that dismissed the rumors as baseless and emphasizing Aurélien’s clean record. They worked to discredit the tabloid, and within hours, the story was contained. But the damage had been done, and the anxiety lingered.
"We need to settle this," Aurélien said, his voice low and determined. "In New York."
Zuri nodded, her heart pounding. The idea of confronting her father on his home turf was terrifying, but she knew it was inevitable. They couldn’t keep living under his shadow, waiting for the next blow to fall.
"I’ll do whatever it takes," she said, her voice steady. "I just want us to be free."
Aurélien wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. "We will be," he promised, pressing a kiss to her hair. "No matter what it takes."
Time passed in a blur of stress and determination. Real Madrid’s loss to LOSC was a bitter pill to swallow, leaving Aurélien and his teammates deflated. Their subsequent win against Villarreal lifted spirits somewhat, but for Aurélien, nothing could fully shift his focus from the personal battle he and Zuri were waging. With the next few days off, he was determined to resolve things once and for all.
The situation had only intensified when the tabloid article sparked a wave of hateful comments online. Trolls attacked Aurélien, accusing him of being a disappointment both on and off the pitch. "He sucks on the field, and clearly sucks as a person too," one cruel comment read. Another mocked Zuri, calling her a "gold-digger" and blaming her for his supposed downfall. Both of them issued statements on Instagram, Zuri declaring, "The truth will always prevail," while Aurélien reassured his followers, “I’m grateful for those who support me. Don’t believe everything you read.”
For every hateful remark, there were words of love and encouragement. Friends like Cama and Jude publicly defended him, and his family members flooded his DMs with reassurances. Zuri’s fans offered heartfelt support, reminding her that she was resilient and loved. The kindness helped soften the sting, but the wound of the smear campaign remained.
Preparing for their trip to New York felt both like gearing up for battle and heading into an unknown abyss. Aurélien handed Zeus over to Hugo, who had promised to take good care of the dog while they were gone. As they drove to the airport, Aurélien looked out at the fading Madrid skyline and wished, for a moment, that they were traveling to New York under happier circumstances.
"Fall’s my favorite season," he murmured, glancing at Zuri as she looked out the window. The thought twisted his heart, the usual joy he felt seeing the autumn leaves in Central Park or catching a Giants or Knicks game was replaced with dread.
Zuri reached over and took his hand. "Maybe next time," she whispered, trying to give him a small smile, but he could see the anxiety shadowing her expression.
The airport was a blur of security checks and baggage drops. They boarded their flight, and Zuri leaned into Aurélien’s shoulder, her nerves finally calming as the plane lifted into the sky. He traced soothing circles on the back of her hand, trying to project the confidence he only half felt. They napped fitfully, sharing whispered words and squeezing each other’s hands during moments of turbulence. The hours dragged on, heavy with anticipation.
LaGuardia greeted them with the usual chaos. As they exited the terminal, Malik waited near the baggage claim, his expression tense. "I can’t believe it’s come to this," he said, pulling his sister into a hug. His fury toward their father was palpable. "We need to end this, once and for all."
Malik drove them through the familiar streets of Brooklyn, eventually pulling up to their hotel. "I’ll be there tomorrow," he promised. "After church. And hey…" His expression brightened with a hint of excitement. "I have some good news. I’m finally proposing to Brynn."
Zuri’s face lit up, a burst of genuine happiness piercing the cloud of their worries. "Malik, oh my God! It’s about time!" she exclaimed, hugging her brother. Malik grinned, the love between siblings a comforting reminder of simpler times.
"You better be there for the engagement party," Malik teased, though there was real hope in his voice. He left them in front of the hotel, and Aurélien gathered their luggage as they headed up to their room, his arm slung protectively around Zuri’s shoulders.
"Tomorrow," she whispered, her fingers lacing through his. "We deal with everything tomorrow."
Aurélien nodded, his jaw set with determination. "Together," he affirmed, guiding her into their room. The world might have felt heavy around them, but for now, they found solace in each other’s presence, ready for whatever came next.
______________________________________________
The morning sun filtered softly through the hotel curtains, casting golden patches on the sheets. Aurélien opened his eyes to find Zuri curled into his side, her steady breathing a momentary reprieve from the storm that awaited them. He brushed a gentle kiss across her temple, and she stirred, blinking up at him.
"Morning," she whispered, her voice hoarse with sleep.
He managed a small smile, though his chest was tight with anticipation. "Morning, mon cœur."
They shared a quiet breakfast, the clatter of utensils against porcelain too loud in the otherwise hushed hotel suite. The conversation was light, almost forced, as they both tried to keep their minds from what lay ahead. Aurélien fiddled with his phone, glancing at messages from friends and teammates who had checked in, offering support without prying.
Zuri put down her fork, her fingers trembling slightly. "We should get going."
He nodded, swallowing down his nerves, and followed her out of the room. The car ride was filled with a heavy silence, each of them lost in thought. The neighborhood they pulled into felt both familiar and foreign. It was the one Zuri had grown up in, a small community in Brooklyn that housed many African immigrant families. Children played on the sidewalks, their laughter a stark contrast to the tension mounting in Aurélien’s chest.
"That’s his car," Zuri pointed out, her voice tight as she gestured toward the driveway of her parents’ modest home. Her father’s navy sedan was parked haphazardly, a testament to his usual disregard for anyone but himself. Aurélien’s gaze shifted down the street, where Malik’s Prius sat a few houses away.
"Malik's here too," Aurélien murmured, his voice grave.
Hand in hand, they approached the front door, but even from the porch, raised voices were unmistakable. The deep, rumbling timbre of Malik’s anger was met with their father’s harsh retorts. Zuri paused, her heart in her throat. "They’re already at it," she said, trying to steel herself.
She knocked, first gently, then harder when there was no response. After what felt like an eternity, the door creaked open, revealing Zuri’s mother. The woman’s face was drawn, her eyes red and puffy from crying. "My angel," she whispered, her voice cracking as she pulled Zuri into a fierce hug, kissing both her cheeks.
"Hi, Mama," Zuri managed, though she felt her own tears threatening. Her mother clung to her, looking her over with a mixture of relief and worry. "What are you doing?" she asked, her voice wavering as she noticed the way her mother’s hands skimmed her arms and shoulders, searching for something.
"I have to make sure you’re not hurt," her mother replied, glancing over at Aurélien. The hurt in her eyes cut deep, but Aurélien stepped forward, his jaw set.
"Je ne ferais jamais de mal à Zuri, (I would never hurt Zuri.)" he said, his voice low and determined. The words felt inadequate – how could he explain that hurting Zuri would be like tearing out his own heart?
Her mother’s eyes widened slightly, and she finally stepped aside. "Come in," she murmured.
The living room was tense with energy. Malik stood with his fists clenched at his sides, his face flushed with anger. Zuri’s father, Ernest, glared at him, his jaw working furiously. The argument screeched to a halt when Ernest noticed Zuri and Aurélien entering.
"What is this?" Ernest demanded, his eyes narrowing. "A setup?"
Aurélien stepped forward, his eyes darkening. "Maybe it is," he said, his voice cold. "You deserve more than just a punch to the face for everything you’ve done." Zuri’s mother gasped, her hand flying to her mouth. The threat was palpable, and Aurélien’s usual calm demeanor was nowhere to be seen. "Vous essayez de ruiner ma carrière avec vos mensonges, et vous ne recevrez pas cette voiture. Laissez Zuri tranquille, ou nous prendrons une ordonnance restrictive." (You’re trying to ruin my career with your lies, and you’re not getting that car. Leave Zuri alone, or we’ll get a restraining order.)
Zuri stood there, barely keeping up with the French exchange, but she could sense the raw anger emanating from Aurélien.
Her father turned to her, his face twisted with disbelief. "A restraining order? Against your own father?" he spat, his voice dripping with disdain.
"Yes," Zuri said, her voice steadier than she felt. "This is ridiculous, and you know it. You’ve gone too far." She turned to her mother, pain flashing in her eyes. "And you, Mama. You just… stand by and let him do this?"
Her mother looked stricken, but before she could answer, Ernest barked a harsh laugh. "You dare speak to me like this?!" he demanded. "You’re an ungrateful daughter, abandoning your family when we need you the most."
Zuri’s eyes hardened, her voice breaking only slightly. "The only one ruining this family is you, Papa. You’re acting like a spoiled child."
Ernest’s face enraged, and he took a step forward, but Aurélien and Zuri’s mother both stepped in front of him. Aurélien’s fists clenched at his sides, and he took a protective stance. Ernest clicked his tongue in annoyance, glaring at his daughter. "You’re supposed to take care of your family," he sneered. "You owe us."
Malik stepped forward, his own anger flaring. "No, Papa. You’re the one in the wrong. We’ve already notified the elders about what you’ve been doing, and they’re ashamed of you. Trying to ruin your daughter’s marriage out of greed? It’s disgusting."
The words hit their father like a punch, but he continued to argue, refusing to see reason. Aurélien had had enough. He stepped closer, his voice dangerously calm. "Je vais déposer une lettre de cessation et d'abstention contre vous, et nous allons vous poursuivre en diffamation." (I’m filing a cease and desist letter against you, and we will be suing for defamation.)
Zuri’s mother’s face crumpled, and she fell to her knees, grabbing Aurélien’s hand. "S'il vous plaît, ne faites pas ça," she begged. (Please, don’t do that.) "Ernest va s'excuser." (Ernest will apologize.) She turned to her husband, desperation in her eyes. "Ernest! Excuse-toi maintenant!" (Ernest! Apologize now!)
Ernest’s mouth set into a stubborn line, his arms crossed over his chest. He refused to look at anyone. "Ernest!" Zuri’s mother screamed, but he only shook his head in defiance.
Zuri’s heart ached but she remained resolute. "Fine. We’ll get that restraining order. I’m done letting you mess up my life."
Malik sighed, his shoulders slumping. "Don’t speak to me ever again, Papa," he said, his voice low but steady. He turned to his mother, his heart breaking for her. "Mama, when you’re ready to leave him, I’ll be there for you. But that’s it."
With that, Malik, Zuri, and Aurélien walked out, the door closing behind them with a finality that felt like the end of an era. Malik lingered outside, speaking quietly with his sister and Aurélien. "I’ll check in tomorrow," he promised. "Just… stay safe."
Aurélien nodded, and Malik gave them both a hug before getting into his car and driving away. As Zuri and Aurélien moved to their rental, Zuri’s mother came rushing out, calling her name.
Zuri turned, tears streaming down her face as her mother wrapped her in a fierce embrace. "I’m so sorry," she whispered, her voice breaking. "I should have believed you. Are you… are you really happy in Madrid?"
Zuri’s tears fell harder, but she managed a smile. "I love it there, Mama. I love him."
Her mother turned to Aurélien, her expression softening. "Thank you for loving her," she said quietly. "And for taking care of her."
Aurélien nodded, his own voice thick. "I love her more than anything."
Zuri hugged her mother one last time, the weight of everything crashing down around them. It was time to leave, time to protect their future. As they pulled away, tears streaming down both their faces, they knew things would never be the same.
But for now, they had each other—and that was enough.
one week later...
The celebratory energy buzzed through the streets of Budapest, where Les Bleus had secured a commanding 4-1 victory against Israel. The sky was painted in a gradient of orange and purple hues as Zuri walked alongside Aurélien toward a chic riverside restaurant. She adjusted her black satin blouse, the soft fabric brushing against her skin, while Aurélien's hand lingered protectively on the small of her back. His proud captain's armband from the game was now tucked in his pocket, but he radiated the honor of leading his team to a victorious match.
Inside the cozy, modern restaurant, Aurélien's family had gathered, beaming with pride. Anne-Maïsha and Yannis, Aurélien's younger siblings, chatted animatedly, while Josette and Fernand Tchouaméni exchanged loving smiles. Zuri could feel the warm familial atmosphere enveloping her, though a hint of apprehension still lingered in her chest. The matter of her father and the arrangement wasn’t quite behind them, and she knew tonight's dinner conversation would inevitably circle back to it.
As they took their seats, conversation naturally flowed in French. Zuri listened intently, trying to catch as many words as she could. Thanks to her new tutor, her comprehension had improved, and the cadence of the language no longer felt entirely foreign. She leaned in, picking up bits of jokes from Yannis and Anne-Maïsha, and smiled.
Anne-Maïsha, who's twenty, glanced at Zuri. "Tu comprends ce qu'on dit, Zuri?" (Do you understand what we're saying, Zuri?)
Zuri laughed lightly, her fingers playing with the gold bracelet on her wrist. "Un peu," she replied, causing Anne-Maïsha to let out a chuckle.
Aurélien grinned and placed his hand over Zuri's. "Alright, let's switch to English so my fiancée can join in properly," he announced. The table complied, albeit with some groaning from Yannis.
Josette looked radiant, her eyes full of maternal pride. "Aurélien, you were incredible on the pitch today. We couldn't be prouder," she said, her gaze warm. Fernand nodded in agreement.
"Thank you, Mama, Papa," Aurélien responded, humility in his smile. "It felt good to lead the team."
Zuri observed the exchange, feeling a pang of longing. How different it was from the strained relationships within her own family. But she pushed those thoughts away as Josette turned to her.
"And how have things been for you, Zuri?" Josette asked. "We know you've both been dealing with so much."
Zuri met Aurélien's eyes, the silent support in his gaze giving her courage. "It's been… complicated," she admitted, choosing her words carefully. "The elders back in Cameroon are very upset with my father. They've left the decision to us about whether to continue the arrangement or end it, but they do support Aurélien and me staying together."
Fernand’s brow furrowed. "I’m surprised they’re still encouraging the arrangement. Ernest has done a lot to undermine this, even if it was born out of his greed."
Aurélien sat up straighter, his expression unwavering. "Papa, I understand your surprise. But Zuri and I have agreed that we want to continue this, on our terms. It’s no longer about family duty or arrangements. We’re choosing this for ourselves."
Fernand’s eyes widened slightly. "You wish to stay together, despite everything?"
Aurélien nodded, and his grip on Zuri’s hand tightened ever so slightly. "Yes. We’re building something real and worth fighting for."
Josette’s face softened, a bright smile spreading across her lips. "That makes me so happy," she said. She reached for Zuri's free hand. "I always hoped you'd find happiness together. Love that comes from choice is the strongest bond of all."
Anne-Maïsha's eyes sparkled with delight. "Yay! I'm getting a sister," she said, clapping her hands. "Can we go shopping tomorrow, Zuri?"
Zuri giggled, feeling lighter. "I'd love that, Anne-Maïsha," she said.
Aurélien leaned over to Zuri, brushing a tender kiss against her lips. The world seemed to blur around them, and for a moment, it was just the two of them, a silent promise of the future they were carving together.
"Gross!" Yannis said, scrunching his nose. "Can you not do that in front of your little brother?"
Laughter erupted around the table, and Zuri's heart felt full. Whatever trials lay behind them, and whatever challenges awaited, this moment—surrounded by love, laughter, and the unwavering bond she shared with Aurélien—was hers to hold onto.
TO BE CONTINUED.....EPILOGUE COMING SOON!
#emjayewrites#aurelien tchouameni#aurelien tchouameni x zuri awanto nchang#real madrid fanfic#footballer x reader#footballer x black reader#footballer x you#fouled by fate
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*deep breath*
the thing is. the fucking thing is.
it's not unrealistic for someone to not dig deeper into their queer identity beyond what they know to be true, which might be "yeah i might be attracted to people of the same gender but i dont have time to get into that right now 'cause life is complicated and i'm in a relationship/i'm not interested in dating right now anyway so what does it matter"
(same goes for figuring out your gender identity. exhibit A:
[image description: a tweet by shaka (@/ScaredAsian) that says, “im probably nonbinary but i have a job so idrc about that rn”. In plain text, it says, “I’m probably nonbinary but I have a job so I don’t really care about that right now.” /end id])
but this doesn't work for evan buckley
who had his little freakout on his first date with tommy and went to talk to his sister who literally told him "now you're more than an ally" and that maybe he's not sure of his feelings but he'll figure them out. (sidenote: she should have said identity instead of feelings. but whatever.)
who has been in a relationship with his boyfriend for six months
who has been known to go on research binges because he has a curious mind and loves learning. tommy's sarcastic "oh good, you found a substack" tells us everything we need to know, y'all.
who has at least one very close queer friend and co-worker, hen fucking wilson; and one friend/acquaintance who is a queer man (we don't know how much he sees josh outside of visiting maddie at dispatch, and like, that one time he hang out with him and maddie and chimney, so it's a little bit up to fanon to decide if they're friend-friends but at the end of the day it is a trusted person and an openly gay man. i mean, we saw how josh stood up for tommy, and schooled the fuck out of buck. finally, a conversation about being queer between two canonically queer characters! only took 8 seasons, huh! i digress.)
and have i mentioned he's been dating his boyfriend for six months? like, if he was ever to have a conversation about being queer... tommy is right there. tommy opened up about his own experience figuring out his sexuality and coming out on their very first date and moreover reassured buck it's okay if he's feeling a little tense about them being out on a date in a public place.
point being: there are people in his life who would be more than happy to talk to him about his newfound identity outside of his relationship with tommy.
taking all of these things into consideration: it's not only inconsistent with the character they have established, but the timeline of it is also really fucking messed up.
and more than that: any faith i may have had in this show to handle a delicate matter like a character exploring their newfound sexuality has flown out the window. they broke the audience's trust with 8x06. i'm not interested in seeing how they're going to move this story forward, because 8x06 was such a particular fuck up, beginning to end, wrt the bucktommy storyline.
and honestly? knowing the format 911 follows, as a network procedural: this is not the right medium to tell this story, at this point in the timeline, because it has become way more complicated than it would have been in s7, immediately following buck's bisexual awakening.
tldr: the premise is sound but the execution is so bad it's practically unsalvageable within the scope of the show (but very manageable in fanfiction, where you can dwell in the character's headspace and dig into what goes on beyond the things they say and do. godspeed, everyone <3)
partly inspired by @firehose118's tags on their post and partly like, being queer. source: dude trust me
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Hello, hope you're doing well and that I'm not bothering you. I know this blog is for relatable writing posts, and I very much do find them relatable (kudos to you), but I was wondering if I could ask for some advice. Why you? IDK, you seem like a nice person, and you do writing stuff, so I figured why not ask? You don't have to respond, but here goes:
Just, how do you get started? I have so many scenes (literally entire dang novels and story arcs) in my head that are quite vivid, I can hear the dialogue, vividly see the scene and map out everything in my head, but the second I try to put it on paper (or google doc), my brain just freezes up and shuts down, partly out of fear of not being able to do good or cringing hard at it. I know people say to just do it and get it out since a bad draft is better than nothing, but, how do you convince your brain to sit down and actually write out the scenes?
I probably kind of just answered my own question, but it would be nice to get some feedback from an internet stranger (technically speaking) who knows this sort of thing. Anyways, I hope you're doing well and that you have a good day/night :)
Do feel free to ignore this though, I don't want to be a bother.
nondelphic writing tips: overcoming the "brain freeze" when starting to write
first off, thank you for reaching out!! i feel you on the vivid mental movies that suddenly go static the second you try to write them down—this is such a common struggle, and you’re definitely not alone (ノ_<、) so here’s the thing: your brain knows what it wants to create, but perfectionism is sneaking in and hitting the brakes. it wants it to be just right before it’s even out of your head, which is a recipe for freeze mode. here are a few tricks to warm up (i hope something helps!!):
✧ start tiny
instead of aiming to write a full scene, jot down one line of dialogue or one tiny detail you see in your mind. sometimes just easing in with a line or two makes the brain relax, like “oh, we’re just dipping our toes in, not jumping into the deep end.”
✧ embrace cringe
if it helps, tell yourself that this draft will be messy, and that’s okay. i call it the “potato draft” stage—ugly but foundational. no one needs to see this stage, so just spill whatever comes. you’re capturing the vibe of your story idea, not the final masterpiece.
✧ trick the brain with “notes”
try writing scenes as if you’re just jotting “notes” or a “sketch” for later. it’s weirdly freeing and convinces your mind that it’s not permanent, making it easier to just get words out.
writing is about building up that “just write” muscle, so even if it feels clunky at first, you’re moving forward, and that’s progress! i hope this helps a bit, and sending good vibes and hugs your way (っ˘ω˘ς )
#nondelphic asks#nondelphic writing tips#writing#writeblr#writer problems#writing humor#writers on tumblr#writing memes#writing community#writing struggles#writer life#creative writing#writer things#writing motivation#ao3 writer#writer memes#writing is hard#on writing#writerblr#writers block#writing funny#writer thoughts#fiction writing#writer struggles#writing tips#writing advice#writer woes#writing woes#writer quotes#writing inspiration
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This is so thoughtful and beautiful and I love it, but I think Fitz's fears come from a different place, and that is his trust issues.
Attempting to kiss someone is an act of terrifying vulnerability because you expose yourself to rejection or hurt (don't I know) in a very physical intimate way.
Every time Fitz trusted someone other than Beloved he was either used or rejected. Chade used him for most of his life, ordering him around and deploying him like a tool (and then wonders why Fitz doesn't trust him).
Molly kept responding to his advances with angry retorts to the point where Fitz is shocked when she finally admits loving him... Fitz explains clearly that he argues with Molly all the time. And then she dumps him and he doesn't figure out the real reason until it's too late.
Burrich belittled Fitz all his life for being Witted, even ceasing to speak to him, and even when that magic saved his life Burrich kept telling him it was evil... Fitz was so hurt by his rejection of the Wit and by extension of Fitz himself that he doesn't dare to speak to Burrich again until he's dying. Yes he tells himself it's because of Molly and their family but I'm not buying that was the only reason.
Even Verity used him to get an heir and finish his dragon.
Starling used him to have fun a few times a year, for years, and Fool's Errand takes time to hammer the point of how betrayed Fitz feels when he finds out.
Cue the Fool reappearing in his life like the "long lost love" Jinna the hedgewitch predicted, looking beautiful, golden, graceful and all the epithets meaning "attractive" that Fitz uses to describe him.
Of course it's hard for Fitz to trust enough, after being used again and again. Of course he's subconsciously afraid the Fool will reject him like Molly would push him away angrily. Of course the taint Starling left on his perception of their relationship makes him afraid to want another.
His internalized homophobia doesn't help. The first trilogy drills in the idea that Fitz is raised among "manly" men like soldiers and guards and stablemen. He has no female figure in his life until Kettricken appears and by then he's like fifteen. If anything in his early life helps him be more in touch with his feelings through empathy and compassion, it's his Skill and Wit.
For all that Fitz reflects on love and what it means to him, the physical expressions of love he has had were not good experiences and led to relationships ending abruptly.
So yes, he probably feels like kissing Beloved is like asking to be abandoned, and since it's the only meaningful relationship he's had that hasn't disappointed him yet, he doesn't want to lose Beloved. Why would he risk it all by giving in to instinct and kissing him?
What the poor dumbass Fitz misses is that Beloved wants it too. But Beloved knows his fate and knows the tragedy that is coming and wants to enjoy what little time he can have with Fitz while trying to avoid deepening the bond so Fitz won't be so heartbroken when he dies. In fact there is an excerpt in Fool's Errand that tells of a fable the Witted have of a woman trying to bond with a cat. The moral of that story is that you shouldn't bond with a creature that can't TAKE as much as it GIVES. This is clearly a metaphor for Beloved, who will give Fitz anything but can't take his love for fear of breaking his heart when he dies.
The tragedy is tragedying at all times with these two.
It's late and I'm having Fool's Errand Thoughts. Specifically, I'm thinking about the astronomical amount of times in that book when it seemed like Fitz and Beloved were going to kiss but then let the moment fade–or–a conveniently abrupt distraction would shatter the tension (I'm looking at you: care to dance we already do scene, mirror scene, etc.).
I'd bet that Fitz really and truly wanted to kiss Beloved in those moments but held back out of the fear that allowing a kiss from him would result in His Fool leaving again. I wonder if, in the height of these romantically charged moments, Fitz would experience a flashback to the kiss in the mountains and then the image of the Fool flying off on Girl-on-a-Dragon.
Fast forward to the end of Fool's Fate when Beloved kisses Fitz and makes him whole again - The Fool doesn't run off (at least not right away), allowing Fitz to hope that this time might be different.
Not a chance in this tragic hell.
I wonder then, after Fitz emerges from the Skill Pillar, only to find that the Fool is gone, if he couldn't help but remember the kiss as just another omen of His Fool leaving him again. I wonder if he thought about the trade-off of being forged forever if it meant the Fool stayed. I wonder if Fitz would absently touch his lips and then the mark-free spot on his wrist.
So in conclusion: no wonder Fitz was so fucking weird about Kissing Beloved in the final trilogy ("panting into his mouth" - be so for real right now dude).
#rote#rote spoilers#realm of the elderlings#fitz and the fool#character analysis#i didnt mean to write this much but damn here we are#the only other queer relationship ive seen that was this tragic#and also involved internalized homophobia from the “manlier” character#is destiel#where the other part ALSO deals with questioning how deep the bond should be since it isnt meant to last#god the sheer queer tragedy#makes me feel so many things#never thought i'd find myself finding parallels between rote and supernatural and HERE WE ARE
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hello I was wondering if you had any tips on how to write/create an outline for psychological thrillers/horror?
Hi! I have this post on horror.
Writing Notes: Psychological Thriller
A subgenre of thriller that explores the psychology of its characters, who are often unstable.
The biggest questions revolve around the mind and behavior.
Often incorporates elements of mystery and include themes of crime, morality, mental illness, substance abuse, multiple realities or a dissolving sense of reality, and unreliable narrators.
Generally stays away from elements of science fiction, focusing on events that could take place in real life.
The 3 C's of a Thriller
The contract: An implied promise you make to the reader about what will be delivered by the end of the book. It’s crucial to keep every single promise you make, no matter how trivial.
The clock: The fact that adding time pressure to any character’s struggle will create higher stakes and more interest for the reader. The goal of this element is not to be stunningly original but to add pressure that will prompt conflicts and intense responses from your characters.
The crucible: A box that constrains your characters, offers them no escape, and forces them to act. Your story should present an increasingly difficult series of tasks and situations for the hero that will funnel them into the most severe trial of all. You must make sure that each successive task is harder than the previous one and that, for the hero, there is no escape. If readers begin to sense that the journey is becoming easier, they’ll lose interest.
The 3 Elements of a Good Psychological Thriller
Although psychological thrillers vary widely in their storylines, some common elements include:
Major plot twists: Psychological thrillers can be ruined by spoilers, since so much of their excitement hinges on the unexpected twists and turns that the novel takes.
An unreliable narrator: Revealing the narrator, or another important character, to be unreliable is another way authors create suspense as the reader tries to figure out who they can trust. Lies, paranoia, and flawed memories are all staples in the psychological thriller genre.
Familiar elements: Psychological thrillers often take place in the home (aka domestic thrillers) and feature ordinary-seeming characters. This allows thriller writers to get inside the reader’s mind, making them wonder, “What if this happened to me?” Starting with the familiar also allows writers to slowly introduce characters’ backstories, mental health issues, and other elements that create suspense over the course of the novel.
Tips for Writing a Psychological Thriller
The best psychological thrillers keep readers on the edge of their seats with unexpected twists. While reading a psychological thriller is easy, writing one can be difficult. Here are some writing tips to help you from first draft through editing:
Keep tension high. You can do this descriptively by showing your characters in tense situations, and you can do it structurally by rearranging the parts of a chapter to keep the pacing swift. Both techniques involve withholding information from the reader. By doing this, you don’t get bogged down in details or information dumps that slow down the pacing. Crucially, withholding allows room in the reader’s mind for the growth of questions and ideas.
Craft situations where characters are unable to get the information or tools they need. This forces the characters to strategize and take actions to reach their goals. If you do this, it’s important to construct believable scenarios. Make sure your characters don’t have an easy way of getting the information they need. Otherwise, your readers will lose respect for you and your characters.
Heighten the tension. In general, there are two ways to augment tension in your story. Descriptive elements that create tension are individual; they come from your story and from the forces or events that are pressuring your characters. Structural elements that create tension involve the way you write your story, like starting your chapters with a sense of urgency or blending descriptive passages into action scenes.
Flesh out character backstories. One way to create twists and suspense is to slowly introduce surprising elements of your characters’ backstories. A backstory can create a plot twist, or reveal why a character may be unreliable. Backstories can also raise the stakes of a story by giving your characters motivation.
Some Subgenres of Psychological Thriller
The psychoanalysis or ‘psycho-traumatic’ thriller
The amnesia thriller
The stolen identity thriller (including mistaken identity)
The ‘woman in jeopardy’ thriller
The stalker thriller
Serial killers or psychopaths and their psychological profiling arguably fit better in the forensic criminal investigation sub-genre, so they may be classified in the Crime Thriller subgenre.
From the sub-categories listed above, it is obvious that as well as overlap with the crime thriller sub-genre, the psychological thriller is also related to psychological horror. The ‘woman in jeopardy’ and ‘stalker’ thrillers also have elements in common with romance – particularly Gothic romance.
Common Psychological Thriller Tropes
Tropes appear repeatedly for a reason: they're what the readers are looking for. Decide which ones to include in your novel.
The protagonist has an inner conflict exacerbated by an external event.
Some sort of mental health issue plays a major role in the story (doesn't have to be the main character). This could be a diagnosed or undiagnosed mental health issue, paranoia, deep distrust, suspicion, or a slow slipping away of sanity.
Reality comes into question as the story progresses.
The protagonist finds it hard to decide who to trust.
There's a major plot twist at the climax. (There may be multiple plot twists.)
The characters are flawed, complex, and relatable.
The settings are common (home, office, child's school, church, etc.)
The stakes may not be life or death (although they can be), but they should be sanity or insanity, or well-being or a ruined life.
Sources: 1 2 3 4 ⚜ More: Writing Notes ⚜ Mystery ⚜ Tension ⚜ Violence Kidnapping ⚜ Backstory ⚜ Plot Twists ⚜ Crime Fiction ⚜ Character Journey
Hope this helps with your writing!
#psychological thriller#writing notes#writeblr#fiction#spilled ink#writers on tumblr#poets on tumblr#literature#writing tips#writing advice#writing prompt#writing reference#creative writing#dark academia#light academia#lit#writing inspiration#writing ideas#writing resources
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so my initial theory was that the lightning strike parallel would have Tommy on the crane and that's how we would get some resolution. I really still love that idea (obviously. i wrote it twice.)
however, now (after zooming in on the instagram promo to an obnoxious degree), I'm not as sold on this version. BUT. there's another thing living in my head.
at some point, someone has to ask Buck why they broke up, and we know that we've got him "on a pendulum" with his reaction, and "cracks starting to show".
which brings about my new theory:
I feel like the conversation is ultimately going to happen with Maddie, since she's the Voice of Reason in his life. Maybe it's after he's been baking with Jee-Yun, idk. Anyway, I know the minute he says "I asked him to move in with me", she's gonna have the response of "...and have you figured out if you love him yet? Had you told him that?" which either will bring about his own feelings realization, or (hopefully) he'll have already come to that conclusion. but mostly, I'm imagining Maddie being like "wait, so you told him you wanted to move in together but you hadn't even said I Love You yet?" queue Buck being like "I thought it was in the context" and Maddie going all Big Sister and being like "okay what actually happened?" this then leading to Buck giving her the rundown of what was said, how Tommy told him he would break his heart and Maddie having to be like "well of course he's afraid, blah blah blah" (or some version of that, with the blahs being whatever reason she gives to him that actually makes sense). At which point, we get to the end of this conversation, and Maddie tells him "you need to call him, Evan. you need to be honest about how you really feel."
and what does THAT get us?
see, something occurred to me when I realized this option: the breakup parallels the first date. but the first date isn't the resolution to that episode, nor is it REALLY the start of their relationship. you know what is though?
the coffee date!
which is how we get them back at a cafe, mirroring their conversation about Buck "not being ready" and Tommy telling him he didn't want to pressure him.
To that end, we get the resolutions to those statements in new forms: we get Evan telling Tommy that he's not the guy who didn't know what he was ready for, and that he knows exactly what he wants, which is Tommy. He knows that because he's able to tell him that he's in love with him, flaws, trauma, and all. I think the way you can counterbalance that with the not wanting to pressure, is by Buck rescinding his offer to live together. at that point, we get a reflection of his understanding that Tommy has trauma (maybe Chimney knows the story and shares it during Buck's conversation with Maddie). anyway, he tells him that its his turn to go at Tommy's pace, at which point we can get a "are you sure about this?" "yes, I'm sure", and then Tommy's the one this time that reaches out and lays his hand over Evan's.
that's all. thanks for attending my second TEDtalk of the night. I'll see my way out (and back into the fic I'm trying to write this into).
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