#i have to figure out so much but i dont even know what i like

[drawyourheart]

Hi Salem! I dont usually interact thru my main, im usually rbing through @missinchrest , but i wanted to shoot you a message. I hope im not overstepping my boundaries with this, but you seemed really down and i wanted to shoot this over to you. I 100% get why you have anons off, and while this is a bit more public than i would prefer, i wanted you to see this, dammit! No need to interact publicly, i know youve got a big ass blog for horny trans furries (like us) with thousands of notes and shit haha.

Salem, love. You are just barely 22. You are meant to say what you think, indulge in what you like, scream about your hurt, be joyous about your successes. You are not supposed to have it figured out yet, and still you hold the potential of the world in you. Ive barely been 25 and I'm just getting back on my feet from a deep hole and learning who i am as a trans man, as somebody who is lovely and can love hard. i got out of the hospital january of last year after trying to kill myself again. ive been battling my weed addiction and suicidal thoughts for a while all while trying to move away from my parents house, where i still live. my father has been the reason for every suicide attempt ive made, and when i told him that i wanted to commit suicide at 13 he called me a loser and told me to never bring it up again. i hate living with him, but my life really did clear up significantly after Years of experience living without him. i know there's a whole life waiting for me, and im so excited to get there. it's this that keeps me from relapsing into self harming habits, that keeps my pedals spinning when on my bad days all i want is a blade and some weed.

really living can look ugly to people who play social charades. if my father saw me as i am now 20 years back he would start a fight with me on the street for daring to live as a faggot. But god am i so excited for the life im slowly building inside me, even though each piece is like handling shards of glass. You have so much more life to live, you're going to look back on this and laugh at how it took so long to see yourself. Trust the process. Hold on. You know what you need, just trust that you are not lost but on your way. We love you. Being online exposes you to so many people who are afraid to be themselves face to face and its dizzying when you sink into it all, but there is so much quiet, gentle, vibrant, loud love waiting for you. Do not give up. Get some rest and get back up tomorrow. Your happy future is waiting for you, and all you need to do is focus on the next day, the next day, the next day, until these days are far, far behind you.

I'm sorry.

[smowyashe]

talked to the school councilor about gender stuff today, and honestly it really helped, i need to get my ass into therapy lmao, anyway she said something that i think a lot of yall (neurodivergent creatures) need to hear since this is the pronoun palace

she told me that people who are neurodivergent are less likely to be held down by societal conctrainst and things that neurotypical people consider to be normal, they just cant really comprehend it, and thats awesome because there's so much more freedom for exploration

because they arent as concerned with societal rules, they're more likely to experiment with their identity (be it gender, sexuality or otherwise) than neurotypical people, and at a younger age than most neurotypical people

thats why neurodiverse people are more likely to be genderqueer or polyamorous or alterhuman, and everything else considered by neurotypical people to be "weird" or "unusual"

experimentation, especially at a young age, is so important for a child's development, and we all experiment, for example, you may have been an emo in middle school but you're not emo now or you might still be emo

the only way you can know if you are something is to try it out

and if that means you use one label (like genderfluid) but then switch to another label (transgender) later on, you're not "going through a phase", you're doing somethign fundamentally important to your identity and growth

experimentation with your identity is important and you should never feel ashamed for changing what that identity is, because life is a journey and you dont need to have it all figured out before you turn 20 or 30 because some people dont figure it out until they're 60 or even 90

if you dont know whether or not something is truly for you just try to take it a step further (like getting a haircut or wearing gear or different clothe) and see if you like that, if you dont then its not for you and thats okay, if you do take another step and another and another and you might move onto something new or you might feel happy with who you are

and even if you are happy with who you are that can still change, and thats also okay!

i was so happy when i identified as genderfluid and im also still super happy now that i identify as transgender

be yourself, unforgivably <3

[spicypotatoesofttaco]

I'm so embarrassed but it's fine

I REALLY don't want to post this. but it's fine. IT'S fine. It's stupid and lame, but I'm committing. While this may be a brain child of mine (honestly someone could've already made this and I have no knowledge of this) I'm not particularly attached to it, so construct as much criticism as you want. or kill me, either one works.

just a small warning, this is like. soooo not professionally written (or proofread) at all. it's just a bunch of different types of notes slapped on a page. good luck soldier.

@dreamweave01 this is for you

so the main thing i remember is that it's mainly donnie and mikey angst

OH OH i just got something BIG

so it started out with donatello being replaced by someone else for years and the other turtles had no idea. then it was him replacing himself and then it was leo instead and a few other different versions that i plot holed away. i ended up with raph, leo AND donnie being replaced by robots BY the real donnie (who had died along with the other two) for years and mikey had no idea. then i was like, hm another plot hole, robots dont bleed. and THATS where it all came together.... (evil hand mushing)

boom, bop, bam: they're from another timeline/multiverse

and then the angst started. (side note: i personally dont think i have a good handle on their characters/relationships with each other. i need to rewatch the show and watch the other ones tbh, please take this with the finest grain of salt you can find)

scene 1: mikey finds out

right now, it's just him and donatello in the lair, the other two are out or something. he overhears don talking about "day 1,100, didn't think we'd make it this far without michaelangelo finding out, etc."

"who are you? where are my brothers? what's going on?"

"get away from me. don't touch me"

"don't call me that, you don't get to call me that. not mikey, not mike, or mikester or angelo or anything, none of it!"

he's freaking out. 3 years? his brothers aren't even his brothers? initially he's flipping his shit, trying to get away from donnie(?). for all he knows they could be robots, shapeshifters, anything.

scene 2: leo finds mikey (on a rooftop)

"hey bud"

"GET AWAY FROM ME" he's got his kusari-fundō spinning, pointed at leo(?)

leo(?) raises his hands "okay! okay! it's okay dude, i'm not gonna hurt you i promise", he reaches to lift his swords out and throw them to the side.

michaelangelo, breathing so heavily, lowers his weapon yet still spinning it. he's leaning side to side, lightly pacing but never turning his back to his brother(?)

"listen, uh. buddy, just come back home and we can talk about this. we'll explain-"

"no! i'm not going anywhere with you"

"do you really think we would wait this long to do something to you if we were going to?"

that stumped him. would they play the long game? tello would. but the others wouldn't and honestly, donnie would get bored eventually anyway.. maybe he should hear them out.

scene 3: the explanation

they all sit down together and donnie explains what happened.

at first, he tells mikey the truth and leo and raph immediately berate him for not going through with their inital plan to lie so that mike doesn't flip again. buuuut then I thought it'd be angstier to go through with the inital plan 🫢

Donatello explains:

"So say," he draws two lines on a hologram, one purple, one orange. he points to the orange one, "this is your timeline and this is ours," pointing to the purple line

"In our world, you died. You weren't strong enough, too young maybe, to handle the ooze. As time went by things were normal for us, then out of nowhere a portal brought us to your timeline."

(context dump: the three completely grew up without him, mike has no memories of the portal why? idk yet...trauma response probably..)

L: "We were all confused at first but eventually we figured out that you had brought us here because your us's were gone."

R: "So we figured out the routine, the rhythm. Played the parts that you expected."

M: "So this is...my fault? I took you from your home and you, you just let it happen?!"

D: "I obviously have been trying to figure out a way back but alas, even the most genius of geniuses have trouble with multi-versal travel.

scene 4: emotional damage

(an: i know, i didn't write much here. i got a little lazy, its literally just the climax)

big crazy scene, like wild colours (lots of orange and yellow) and destruction and stuff like the movie type shi.

D: "MICHAELANGELO, MIKEY, PLEASE. please. I know you're still in there. I- I'm sorry. You didn't do anything wrong. It was me, I lied to you, Mikey."

spell breaks (yippee)

M: "what?"

D: "You didn't pull us away from our timeline. I-" deep breath

"I pulled you from yours."

M: speechless, confused. vulnerable.

D: "You were all alone! You had nothing, no one left. I couldn't just abandon you."

"I thought it'd be perfect. We didn't have you, you didn't have us. It was the perfect puzzle!" sigh "and then we had to go and mess it all up by not telling you the truth."

[starry-toya]

I'm fucking cryiny

[the-bell-lord]

IM SOOO SOSO EXCITED

I WATCHED THE TRAILER A GOOD WHILE BACK AND I DONT REMEMBER MUCH BUT I SAW THIS WEIRD LOOKING SPIDER THING AND I AM DO . SO . SOOOOO EXCIIIITEDDDDDD

I REALLY HOPE THEY LET US SEE MORE ITERATORS !!!! LIKE CHASING WIND OR my beloved <33333 (NSH)

MAYBE EVEN GET TO KNOW THE BRIEFLY MENTIONED ITERATORS MORE !!!! LIKE INNO !! SQUEALSSSSSS CTCRFRTHHUJBKN

what I HOPE is that they have something like the broadcasts from spearsy’s campaign because I LOVED THAT STUFF YESSS but I ALSO. kinda hope they don’t ????? Y’know ????? I REALLY liked the whole mysteriousness vanilla rain world has

the whole having to figure stuff out on your own - I MEAN IT WAS TERRIFYING !!!!! EVERYTHING WAS A DANGER , oh but the EMOTIONS that ran through my body the first time I killed a lizard … because WHAT ??? I DIDNT KNOW THAT WAS AN OPTION

rain world is an AMAZING game for MANY reasons , but I LOVE how it’s up to YOU to decide if you stay on the bottom of the food chain , or claw your way up little by little - it’s so TVRXFXHVUJU

Anyways I have NO CLUE what to expect but I’m SO EXCITED . SO SOON ! ITS COMING SO SOON !!! WHEEHEHEHE

The Watcher is releasing so soon!!! Since I couldn't think of any questions that would fit in a poll format, this post is instead an open ended invitation to share your watcher hype, predictions, hopes, apprehensions even? Is there anything in particular you're expecting from the dlc? I'm curious to know!

[isnt-that-wizardd]

there is just something about the difference between edwin's love interests and having the cat king's reaction to edwin in hell being "i'll be waiting when he gets back" vs charles "no version of this where i don't come get you" rowland convincing a powerful trans-dimensional being to open a door to hell just so he could get him back

i am insane

[hinamie]

please any atla gojo lore. anything please im begging on my knees hands pressed together like im praying to god

I really wish I could anon :'> we tried to think of non-spoiler-y lore we could share but turns out every aspect of his character is either a. major spoilers or b. a near-direct echo of canon but make it atla flavoured (ie. his relationships w/ geto/shoko/nanami/haibara; him being The Strongest(tm) in-universe, etc). I guess there's technically the satosugu betrothal but that's already Public Knowledge given that there's art, plus the details are (surprise!) more spoilers

so ...yeah.... unfortunately you'll just have to wait to learn more about him in the fic :"> please accept this compensatory art as apology even though i am Not sorry in fact the pleas of the commonfolk make me cackle

jjk atla!au with @philosophiums

[lemon-wedges]

Some process gifs of my paintings this year!

[xxplastic-cubexx]

what’s that one figure of erik tying charles up called?? i cant find it anyone and i feel like you’d know lol

if you mean This statue

then it's by Graven Labs! 'Magneto Triumphant' to be specific

[dailyfigures]

hiiiiii everyone i'm just popping in to say that i probably won't be online much for a bit, meaning the queue will go on as always but i can't really answer asks much :( will be back on track as soon as i can!

[seventh-district]

Figured I'd try my hand at some Redacted character post/text edits!

[ 1 / ? ]

Credit to @/sainthowlzon for all the Listener icons, and to @/elisacaleisa for their google drive with all the canon icons!

(slightly alternative version of the Solaires' GC edit below the cut bc i had a lil too much fun with what Vincent would name his contacts)

[unriding]

a … a gift from the talented @kruinka 🥹 thank you so much!! ദ്ദി ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ)

[stacksattack]

just got a very unsavory follower so obligatory post about this

[spacedlexi]

maybe if i just put these screenshots together youll understand why i think their relationship just Works so well as it pertains to the characters and themes of S4 in general

neither of them know what theyre doing, but theyre figuring it out Together. the old ways are dead. and together theyll build a new future thats worth fighting for

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry

( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)

(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)

[diathadevil]

Do you ever think about how Fakir, after him and Ahiru finally broke everything that kept the town of Goldkröne in the ghostly hands of its writer, after they finally have some air of peace over the town finally being able to live in its intended early 2000s environment, that Fakir still feels at times like it's not real and that for a while he fears that if he closes his eyes it'll be back in Drosselmeyer's control. Like it just doesn't feel real to him during that first year of calm, until he feels the dull pain on his recovering hand injury and Ahiru who follows him without a pendant anywhere to be found.

He doesn't feel it's real, the calm finality of this town, but he makes sure to feel the scar on his hand. And he makes sure to hold the little duck and realize that she is who she has always been. Him and the town are finally living peacefully.