#i have to create a more up to date rendition

[sitstaystoned]

Hm it's been a while since i posted my fursona. look at her today [by osmoru]

[kyu-piddy]

Ranking (some more) twst love triangles on how messy they are

(This was for an ask that sadly got eaten by tumblr! )

Anon asked: I just wanna say I love your love triangle headcanons, but it got me thinking. Instead of two boys in the same dorm, what about if it was different dorms. For example, like Trey x reader x Azul, the two glasses boys.

So I was wondering if I could get part two of love triangles but with Trey x reader x Azul and or Leona x reader x Malleus

Please take your time, don't rush and Thank you 🙏

An: Thank you for your request anon. I might have gotten a ton of brainworms and just had to write this asap! Leona and Malleus are so interesting imo. They tickle a funny part of my brain that likes making characters suffer. I’d say they can be pretty challenging to write since they're so layered but it’s also soooo rewarding. Hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. :)

Gn reader x Leona, Malleus, Trey, Azul

Trigger warnings: Swearing

1.3k words

Leona vs Malleus

Ahaha, you’re in danger.

No, seriously, this love triangle is dangerous. You could quite literally start a war if this goes unchecked for long enough.

Here you have two princes that already have enough beef with each other to feed a small nation, now fighting over you.

Leona is, of course, emotionally constipated as usual. He’s not gonna try to seduce you with flowers or chocolates or anything of the sort. Instead, he’ll be strangely nice to you, like letting you nap on his usual spot in the greenhouse or offering you help in a specific subject he’s good at.

This is all done with a side dish of “Tsk. Don’t bother me, herbivore.”

But the man does want to be bothered by you. It will be a cold day in hell before he admits it though .

Malleus on the other hand, will be forthcoming about his intentions towards you.

“Isn’t it a lovely night, Tsunotarou? “

“I wish to court you, child of man.”

If Lilia hadn’t told him to slow down he’d just straight up confess to you at that moment.

From that point on you’re getting the whole Malleus attention package. He’s making flowers sprout from the ground when you pass by, making Sebek and Silver escort you everywhere, writing heartfelt letters that read as more terrifying than romantic (he’s trying, ok?).

Leona is not happy about this. He’s stomping those flowers, picking fights with Sebek and Silver and turning those letters into sand. It’s a declaration of war.

If you thought they were bitchy before, now they’re straight up assholes to each other.

All types of insults are on the table, from the bad to the ugly to the straight up vile.

They also have a tendency to physically get you away from the other. Your arms are gonna be so sore and bruised from all the yanking.

And they’re gonna blame the other for your bruises, and start a whole other fight about it.

Leona is getting Ruggie to take pictures of his moments with you to send to Malleus, but Malleus can't use a phone to save his life, so he isn’t really gonna be able to see it.

In the same vein, he does not know how to take pictures with his phone, so he’s going to write descriptive letters, full of flowery details of his encounters with you to send to Leona.

He might even hire someone to create an artistic rendition of the moment to accompany the letter.

Leona is just gonna tell Ruggie to throw it all in the garbage, but just the thought of what could possibly be in there is gonna irk him to high hell.

Everyone, and I mean everyone will know about this love triangle. Leona will frame it as more of a fight with Malleus, to prove he is better than the lizard, but anyone with eyes can see that it’s more than that.

Malleus on the other hand will tell everybody you’re the love of his life, his future spouse and that the date of the wedding is xx/xx/xxxx and everyone is invited.

Even their families will get involved. Neither of them is above inviting you to their homeland just to sightsee, and then you reach there and bam, everyone is calling you their partner, and saying how you make a great couple, while you’re trying to figure when did you even accept a relationship between you both.

You’re not getting a confession from Leona.

You’ll have to figure it out yourself and confront him about it. And the asshole, after all his mixed signals and talk of just doing it to piss off Malleus, will retort “Isn’t it obvious? I thought you’d be smarter than that, herbivore.”

Malleus isn’t too keen on a confession either, but it’s because he already considers you both a couple, and if you confront him about it he'll answer matter of factly “Are we not a couple soon to be wed, child of man?”.

Delulu is not the sululu, but for Malleus, it is.

Your decision is going to impact both of them really hard.

Choosing Malleus is more trauma for Leona’s always second best issues. He’s going to become extremely guarded around you, closing himself off to the world for a long while.

Choosing Leona is more trauma for Malleus’ always forgotten issues. Unlike Leona, who will immediately give up on you and fall into a depression pit, Malleus will get angry at the world and try so hard to bargain with you.

Choosing neither will still feed into these issues, creating more fuel to the cycles of self destruction that these two are stuck in.

If there was a rating higher than S tier, I’d put this love triangle there, but since there isn’t, I’ll give it an S.

Neither of these men should be getting into a relationship. They should be getting into therapy.

Trey vs Azul

Megane vs Megane

Now these two have a peculiar dynamic.

One is the dependable older brother of Heartslabyul while the other one is the scary loan man of Octavinelle with the two shady underlings.

You guess which one you’re more likely to feel safe around.

Azul thinks he is so slick, by finding out Trey's crush on you, but will be immensely taken aback once Trey makes it known that Azul’s crush isn’t exactly a secret either.

Zuzu will try so hard to find dirt on Trey, but Mr. Normal has the most boring secrets that not even an old lady would be scandalized by (at least that Azul can find).

Initially, he’d send Floyd and Jade to spy on Trey, but the eels are not to be trusted, especially with you around.

They’re the type to stop the spying just for funsies and start chatting with you, so Azul has to take matters into his own hands.

He’s peeking out from a window with binoculars if he has to, goddammit!

While Azul is making a fool of himself to woo you, Trey is quietly guiding you along the path to his heart.

He knows Azul will try to use his contracts to get a leg up on him, but neither you nor him are interested in owing something to Azul.

Even if one of the contracts captures your attention, Trey is throwing it out of the window so fast (metaphorically, ofc).

Seeing as contracts and spying on you doesn’t work, Azul is going to try to hit Trey where it hurts.

Feeding you, ofc.

Trey has his desserts, but Azul has the Mostro lounge and he did grow up in a restaurant, so he can cook decently.

He can’t offer you the food directly, so he leaves it to you as a secret admirer (he read about it in a book and though that it would add to his mystique and appeal as a suitor).

When Trey finds out about it, he’s going to start taking it away before you find it, feeding you with one of his pastries instead.

This basically leads to a cook-off, where Azul keeps leaving you more and more food while Trey also increasingly gives you more pastries to get you too full to eat anything else.

I see Azul confessing in a very romantic and by the book sort of way, that leaves you wondering if he followed some sort of guide to the T (he did).

Trey is not taking it lying down.

He is interrupting anything that Azul has planned and throwing hella shade his way, reminding you of how shady Azul can be.

Meanwhile Azul is about to call the twins to make Trey sleep with the fishes in the Lounge aquarium.

I put this love triangle in B tier.

Either way you choose, I don’t see either of them getting too mad.

Trey is pretty chill about it if you choose Azul or neither of them, while Azul might throw a small to medium tantrum if you choose Trey.

He has control issues he really needs to figure out, but seeing as the experience has made him respect Trey as more of an equal, it wouldn’t be as bad as if it was someone like your first year Heartslabyul friends.

[alotofpockets]

Out of pocket | Renee Rapp x Actress!Reader

Where an interviewer makes out of pocket comments and Reneé stands up for you

Reneé Rapp Masterlist | Words: 1.7k

-----

Booking Mean Girls was your breakthrough, you had some small roles in TV shows here and there, but getting to play the main character in this rendition of a movie you loved dearly, is what put your acting career on the map. 

Your girlfriend and co-star, Reneé, had helped prepare you for your first big interview. In the preparations she had also mentioned that interviewers could be a hit or a miss, and that there were reporters out there that definitely should not be in the industry. You didn’t take the warning lightly, but assumed your first ever interview would not be with an interviewer that was a part of the minority that didn’t treat people right.

Nothing in the kind and welcoming introduction when you got to the studio could have prepared you for the change that was coming your way. With the camera rolling and the spotlights on you, you were ready to start the interview. Reneé was to your side, and the interviewer sat off to the side behind the camera’s.

“Hello and welcome back to another interview! Today we have Reneé Rapp and Y/n Y/l/n, two stars of the newest Mean Girls movie. Welcome girls, it’s a pleasure to have you here.” You and Reneé both smile, “Thank you for having us.” You say for the both of you.

“Let’s dive right in. Reneé, how excited are you for the release of your new film?” Renee immediately lit up, “Yeah, I am super excited. It has been so much fun being able to portray Regina again, I honestly cannot wait for everyone to see the movie.”

The interviewer nods and moves to you, “And Y/n, how has it been to work on your first big movie set?” You were still a little nervous, so you looked over to Reneé for comfort. Her reassuring smile was all it took for you to feel more comfortable. “It was an incredible experience. Everyone on the team was amazing, and I learned so much while working on creating a movie that I cannot wait to share with the world.”

“Reneé, obviously you’ve been in the spotlight for quite a bit.” She nods in agreement, “How was it working with a relatively new face like Y/n.” Your girlfriend looked over to you with nothing but love in her eyes. “It was great to see in action, she brought an energy to the team that was exactly what we needed. She is very talented, and working with her was amazing. I hope to be privileged enough to be able to work with her again.” 

“The fans can’t seem to stop shipping your characters, as well as the two of you. Would you like to share the story of how you met?” Since Reneé answered the last question, you took this one. “We had met a couple times shortly though a mutual friend, but really connected during the audition process for Mean Girls.” Reneé nodded along with you, “You could say that the chemistry read was off the chart with us.” She adds with a wink, that leaves you giggling. 

The ease you were feeling during the interview was quickly gone with the next question that was asked. “Y/n, how are you dealing with being in the spotlight? Are you keeping up with all the attention, or is it overwhelming for someone with your background?” You had been very open about your past, and not growing up with a lot of money, but the way this question was formulated made a shiver run down your spine.

“Oh eh it’s definitely a big change, but I am grateful for my team, coworkers like Reneé, and the fans for accepting me into this world and supporting me in my career.” The interviewer nods, and you get a feeling he wasn’t done just yet. 

“Speaking of change, it must be quite an adjustment from your humble beginnings to now being the lead in what is expected to be a hit movie. Do you think you would’ve made it this far if you weren’t dating someone in the industry, who has the proper experience?” 

The question takes the both of you by surprise. Reneé reaches out her hand and places it on your upper leg, to offer you some kind of comfort. “I believe I’ve earned my place here.” You were not going to let him paint this picture where you got everything handed to you on a silver plate. “Every audition, every role, and every late night spent studying lines, it brought me here. I have worked very hard to be a part of this industry, as has every actor I’ve ever met.”

The interviewer smirks, clearly not satisfied with your answer, “Alright, but don’t you think that being in a relationship with someone as established as Reneé might give you an unfair advantage? I mean, how do you think people perceive your success? As earned, or just as a result of dating your girlfriend?”

Reneé is ready to burst, but you stand up before she can say anything. “I refuse to be disrespected like this, I’ve worked too hard to let someone like you undermine my accomplishments. This interview is over.” With that you rip off the microphone pack and walk out of the room. 

“You should be ashamed of yourself. Y/n is an incredibly talented actress, who has earned every bit of success through her own hard work. The fact that you’d suggest otherwise says more about you than it does about her. Like she said, this interview is over and we do not sign off on you using any of this.” After defending you, Reneé rushes off to find you. 

She found you pacing the hallway. The moment your eyes find hers, you rush into her arms. “I am so sorry he said all of that. You worked very hard to get where you are today, and I am so proud of you. I am also very proud of you for standing up for yourself, I know that isn’t always easy in situations like this.” 

You shake your head, “Who does he think he is, asking these kinds of questions?” Reneé shakes her head. “A low life who wants to make money off of other people’s misery, but don’t worry, I told him that we do not give him the right to use the footage of today.”

Reneé took you home, where you spent a relaxing afternoon together, full of cuddles and comfort. This was definitely not the first big interview you had in mind, but there was nothing you could change about it. Together with Reneé, you had gotten both your managers together and explained everything that happened, and to let them know that neither one of you would ever agree to interview with the company again. 

A few days later, against all your expectations he had released the interview against your wishes, and painted you as the bad guy. You were angry, and were in constant meetings with your management to figure out what your options were.

Between calls Reneé got the perfect opportunity, so you got both your managers on the phone again. “Drew Barrymore just called and said that if we want to, she wants to give us the opportunity to talk about the interview on her show. She wants to give us a platform to create change in the industry.” You take over from your girlfriend. “Yeah, we already talked about it amongst ourselves, and would love to grasp this opportunity. I know how horrible it was for me, and I want to be a part of making a change.”

Both managers agree, and the next day you are on Drew’s show. The experience of being interviewed by her was a stark contrast to your first interview, and you were glad to know that there were good people out there. 

Drew let you speak on what happened at the interview, and how they used the footage while you had retracted your consent for them to use it. “And Y/n, have you seen the reactions of your fans?” You shake your head, “No, I’ve honestly tried to ignore everything surrounding the release of that video.” Drew nods, “That is very fair. I have a compilation of a few things we have found online, and would love to show it to you. Only if you are up for it of course, it’s up to you.”

You end up agreeing, and Drew instructs her crew to play it on the big screen. It starts off with a few screenshots of YouTube comments and tweets of fans defending you, which already got to you. You watched the screen with teary eyes, and leaned into Reneé for comfort. She wraps her arm around you and pulls you even closer. 

Then the video shows some of your co-stars defending your honour, as well a bunch of people from the industry. At that point you could no longer keep your tears in. Reneé kissed your shoulder, and rubbed her free hand over your arm. 

“I didn’t mean to make you cry!” Drew says when she notices the tears on your cheeks. You wipe them away, “Happy tears, don’t worry. Thank you for showing me this, and thank you to everyone that defended my honour. Your support means the absolute world to me.”

The rest of the interview was focussed on your upcoming coming, in the form of a redo from the failed interview. This time you and Reneé both felt comfortable and safe, all thanks to Drew and her team.

With this interview you were sad that it had to come to an end, but walked off feeling content. Drew listened to everything the both of you had to say, and shared the same enthusiasm as the two of you did about the new movie. 

“Thank you.” You say to Reneé, once you’re in your dressing room. “What for?” She asks with her brows slightly furrowed. “Just for always being there for me. I love you.” She smiles and pulls you in for a hug. “I love you too, and I will always have your back.”

-----

💗 If you enjoyed this fic, please consider liking, commenting, and reblogging! You can also supporting me by leaving a tip 💗

[thewritetofreespeech]

Can I request headcanons for Astarion, Gale, Wyll, and Halsin celebrating his gn s/o's birthday please?

Astarion

In truth, Astarion has never celebrated a birthday before; or at least one he can remember in the past 200 years.

He of course knows about birthdays and what people usually do. Celebrations at the local taverns on such occasions were easy to pick off just…not the guest of honor. Astarion felt that would be tacky.

His gift would be something small. Memorable. A ring or necklace his love would always wear to think of him. And seeing them wear it make Astarion feel like he in turn finally has something of his own. Ending with a night of passion which, for once, he truly deeply means. Sweet words and all.

Gale

Gale would be planning for your birthday for months. Either in secret, or an attempt at keeping a secret because he’s just so excited.

He creates a new version of his Starlight incantation. One that is more reminiscent of their current living arrangements, but with hints of the forest where he first professed his love for them. A blend of the old and the new, to remember their past & look forward to the future, he said.

Besides the illusions, Gale makes them a very real dinner of their favorite meal and a cake to rival even some of the finest bakers in the Gate or the Deep. He also gives them a journal, hoping that it will be a comfort to them to write down their thoughts but also one day help with the novel on their adventures he’s going to write.

Wyll

Despite not celebrating many birthdays in recent years, Wyll actually loves them. He is of the opinion that every year, surviving, growing, and moving on in the world, should be celebrated.

The day would be spent more for quality time. Taking a (hopefully) peaceful walk. Maybe a little hunting for dinner, if they can’t find a tavern on the way. Gazing up at the stars as night falls, with Wyll pointing out his favorite constellations that are only visible this time of year (and therefore must be a gift for them from the gods themselves).

His gift would be a small blade he had fashioned for them. Naming it ‘the Protector of the Blade’s Heart’ since they are Wyll’s heart and this will protect them. They also get the finest rendition of ‘happy birthday’ an aspiring bard turned adventure his lungs can handle.

+Ascended!Astarion

Once he finds out when their birthday is, never really having asked before as it was of no interest to him until now, Astarion makes great effort to have it be the most memorable birthday ever. Everyone should be celebrating when his consort graced the universe with their beauty, and they should have a party that would dwarf all others in their past; now that they are at his side.

He throws a grand ball every year. Themed, perfectly executed, nobles & dark affiliates from all over come to pay tribute to them across Faerun.

It wasn’t until year’s later that they realize that the date had slowly changed from their birthday to their ‘new birthday’. The day they became a vampire.

First where there was one party, then two, now there is only one again for the new date.

Astarion insists, at first, that it’s just a fluke of scheduling. Too many meetings with his dark horde or aristocracy to make it work. Suddenly they are traveling during their birthday and can’t do the party.

Eventually, Astarion admits that your original birthday is pointless. “Why do you need to remember that when you have been reborn with this new life, my treasure?” And thus Astarion had successfully changed your birthday to your deathday, as it were.

[marimayscarlett]

'The Persistence of Memory' turns 3 years old today 💿🎶

On the 12th of November, 2021, Richard released his fourth Emigrate album with the title 'The Persistence of Memory'. (The release date was initially set for November 5 but was pushed back a week.)

This album is especially significant in Richard's career and for Emigrate as a whole. It emerged as a form of dynamic, active therapy for Richard, who fell into a deep depression after the 2019 stadium tour, which left him riddled with self-doubt. He questioned whether music was still for him or if he should walk away from it altogether.

"Inside me, various wars were raging, and I felt like I had to stop making music. I couldn’t see any purpose in it anymore. It was a really hard crash landing, unlike anything I’d experienced before. There was a real emptiness inside me. Even for us, this stadium tour was something new. And when everyone tells you how great and good you are, whether it’s true or not, you feel like you’re in withdrawal once it’s over. I had to find my way back to earth."

Even before the COVID pandemic began, Richard had already retreated into a form of isolation, unaware that the pandemic would intensify this feeling. To actively combat and process these emotions, Richard delved into his musical archive, taking a journey into the past. Through various demos, song parts, and ideas he’d accumulated since Emigrate's early days, he found his spirits lifting and regained inspiration.

"My present was unpleasant, and my future was empty. So I immersed myself in my past. It was the only thing I had. I stumbled upon all these old songs and ideas and took another close look at them. They helped me move back into the present and finally look forward to the future again—a time travel back to inspiration."

The album was recorded at Sky van Hoff studios and Richard’s own Studio Engine 55 Berlin. His creative process involved reworking old lyrics, re-arranging songs, re-recording parts, and generally polishing up existing tracks.

The oldest of these songs is 'Freeze My Mind' which is 20 years old at the time of the album's release and is also Richard’s oldest song for Emigrate. He had reportedly written it with his then-wife Caron Bernstein around 2001.

“I wrote ‘Freeze My Mind’ in New York City; it must have been around 9/11. I was living in New York at the time and saw the second plane hit the tower. Watching people fall from the tower deeply affected me.”

'Bloodstained Wedding' originated in 2007 and 2011 and was inspired by his time in New York, while 'Hypothetical' previously featured on the album 'Silent So Long', was now sung by Richard himself instead of Marilyn Manson. Richard transformed 'Always on My Mind' into an epic rendition of the classic Elvis song with Till Lindemann, and he reworked 'Come Over' at the encouragement of his son, Merlin, who was enthusiastic about the song.

'I’m Still Alive' had already existed since the first Emigrate album (originally titled 'Yeah Yeah Yeah'), and the music video fittingly combines old footage from 2007 with new clips from 2021.

Richard did not shy away from serious themes on this album. 'Rage' addresses the difficulty of reentering social life after the isolation of COVID, a struggle Richard personally experienced. 'You Can’t Run Away' was written in response to numerous messages from fans expressing suicidal thoughts and sharing how much his music had helped them.

Richard mentioned that he views this album as a kind of closure for this Emigrate era: “This album might be the end of an era, the close of a chapter before something new begins.” While working on this album, he collaborated with Andrea Marino on electronic remixes, although he did not release them, hinting instead at a future electro album to explore this genre more fully.

The album artwork, depicting Richard’s head in a galaxy-like nebula, was created by Arnaud Giroux. It symbolizes the album and the creative process itself - “It’s about creating worlds and looking at things from a different perspective” as Richard describes it. The title itself was inspired by the painting by Salvador Dali with the same name.

One of Richard's announcement of his new album on his IG Profil:

The Persistence of Memory was a process that started 14 years ago. After a rough period in my life, it became clear to me that now is the right time to put it out.

The process to get to a point always interested me more than the point itself, struggling to get somewhere and constantly pushing boundaries makes me feel alive.

I AM STILL ALIVE.

"THE PERSISTENCE OF MEMORY" out this Friday.

Credit: @tobias_ortmann

Some additional quotes by Richard from interviews he gave around the time of the release:

Would you let your Rammstein colleagues listen to an Emigrate album before its release?

"No, definitely not. (laughs) Though someone like Flake would probably be very open to it. We have a lot of respect for each other and regularly stay in touch. For instance, I often listen to his radio show—and then call him afterward to ask what kind of weird stuff he’s been talking about again. (laughs)"

"I just realized in an interview with another magazine that every time I make an album, there’s a very dark backstory to it. It’s never that I’m just cheerfully going through life, feeling fantastic, and then think, 'Now I’ll write a new EMIGRATE album.' It always coincides with a significant change in my life."

"The funny thing was that I got the inspiration for the cover because of the song 'Always On My Mind.' When I listened to the song, I had the idea that it wasn’t actually about a relationship with a person, but rather about our planet. That’s where the cover idea came from, with the face gazing at the Earth."

sources: rammwiki web.de Berliner Zeitung Chaoszine metal.de

[kathanglangit]

The First Blade: Balaraw - Winged Dagger

I realize I haven't been explicit about it on here yet (mostly because I'm not the best at keeping all my social media profiles up to date), but I am involved in the development of a Tabletop Roleplaying Game It's called Gubat Banwa- a TTRPG based around tactical grid combat, contemplative war drama, and high-flying martial arts, all of which taking place in an unapologetically Southeast Asian-inspired fantasy setting, developed by @makapatag with art direction by @villain-returns. Initially I developed the script that is used in the gamebook and diegetically in the setting- called Kasuratan- but I'll talk about that elsewhere.

With the Kickstarter launch imminent, I thought I'd do a bunch of Twitter X threads on a bunch of weapons I've drawn for the game counting down the final week before the launch. Then I thought: "Why aren't I posting these on tumblr also, at least I wouldn't lose my mind over character counts over here"- so here we are. These were supposed to be posted as Swordtember drawings, but then the KS launch got moved to October. Most of these blades are of Philippine make, since that is where my knowledge-base is and what I'm comfortable enough to share knowledge about. I thought it'd be nice to share a bit of blade knowledge from some of the cultures that inspired the setting. Without further ado, let us begin with the BALARAW.

Also known as a "winged dagger", it is characterized by its unique shape, consisting of a short leaf-shaped blade driven with the tang out into a hilt with two distinct protrusions, creating three prongs on the back with the tang included.

(Photos from an exhibit at The Met)

They may be held at the hilt like a regular knife, or they may be held in a manner not too dissimilar from how our neighbors in Southeast Asia hold keris. One may imagine it like a "push dagger" for lack of other reference points. It might be likened to the katar as well, in some sense.

(Sketches by the Gubat Banwa Art Director himself) Nowadays, the blade is frequently attributed to the People of the Upstream- the Mandaya group of peoples- though they would have seen much wider use in their day, likely also spanning across what is now the Visayas region of the Philippines.

(Modern rendition by Panday Keiven Tolentino of Itak Mindoro, Photo by Ramon H. Bathan) Something I've noticed from looking at Philippine blades all the time is that symmetrical, double-edged blades like these are rare, here. Blades that lend themselves more to stabbing than anything else aren't very prevalent either, and blades that do not- at first glance- appear to be made with tool use/foliage clearing/farmwork in mind don't make up the majority of specimens. The balaraw is unique in several different respects, and any self-respecting warrior Kadungganan of Gubat Banwa's Sword Isles would do well to mind its bite. The weapon makes an appearance in Gubat Banwa in the hands of the Beast Hunter- one of the many Disciplines ("character classes") whose techniques your character can learn in-game.

The Gubat Banwa Kickstarter launches in 7 days! Check it out here:

We'd appreciate any and all help in getting the word out. Support an independent TTRPG made by a team from the global south, looking to make waves through a fantasy setting where the Southeast Asian inspirations takes center stage!

[lukehughesbabymama]

Dating Matthew Knies would include

-him only responding to you when you call him ‘Matty’ or ‘Matt’ because he “doesn’t know who Matthew is”

-putting his hair into pig tails under the condition that you promise not to take any photos

-taking photos anyway

-getting chased around and then pinned down by him until you delete them 

-him being able to hold your whole face with his big ass hand just by putting it underneath your chin

-him creating an entire private story on snapchat for when he went to Beijing to update you with videos considering the time difference

-and continuing to use it to this day when ever you're apart 

-him holding your waist with one hand whenever you're standing next to each other 

-him loving it when you boss him around 

-accidentally causing a fight when you tell him you're excited for him to go to Toronto so you can meet Auston Matthews... oops

-babysitting Cooley together 

-being so intimated by his Slovak parents 

-kissing his cheeks 24/7 

-communicating exclusively through voice memos on text in order to “deliver the message with the correct tone”

-jumping up on him without doubt he will scoop you up and hold you like a baby when you’ve had a long day 

-Eskimo kisses 

-him mostly calling you ‘brat’ because mans knows he spoilssssss you 

-and a new rendition of ‘bratiana’ which he thinks has more of a ring to it 

-still not being able to look into his eyes for that long because they are so damn piercing 

-being prepared to not be able to speak to him until the next day after he loses a game since he goes into a depression 

-then rough sex the next day to get the frustration out of his system 🤭

-him stealing one of your SPF moisturizers after you told him he will have skin like leather if he doesn't have some kind of sun protection on everyday 

-him being fascinated and always occupied by your claw clips 

-him towering over you and getting in your face whenever you fight

-him becoming a dog when he sees you in a bikini

-no like he's actually gawking at you and you have to pinch his ear to get him to stop

-absolutely drowning in any clothes that you borrow from him 

-him using your boobs as a pillow 

no bc I need him 

[twistedtummies2]

Top 15 Vampires (Who AREN'T Dracula)

Something a lot of people seem to misconstrue about me is that I am a massive fan of vampires and vampire fiction. This really isn’t the case: what I AM is a massive fan of Bram Stoker’s “Dracula,” specifically. I am fascinated by seeing different interpretations of that particular novel, and especially its title character. When it comes to vampire fiction as a whole, I am much less well-versed and interested. SPOILER ALERT: you won’t be seeing TV franchises like “True Blood,” “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” “Dark Shadows,” or “What We Do in the Shadows” here, for the simple fact that I have never seen any of them and really don’t have any intention of seeing them. This applies to a lot of other television programs, works of literature, films, and video games: vampires, by default, do not automatically equal my vested interest. HOWEVER…this does not mean I have NO interest in vampires, as a concept. Long before Bram Stoker’s seminal work was published and reached its heights of popularity, the idea of the vampire - an undead creature who rises from the grave to drain the blood of the living - was a fantasy and myth spanning not only many centuries, but many different cultures. Just about every nation, region, and spiritual belief under the setting Sun has had some variation of the vampire legend, and written stories of vampiric characters and events date back much, much further back than Stoker’s time. What “Dracula” really did was bring the concept into the popular consciousness, especially through its renditions onstage and in motion pictures, in a way no written or orally transferred piece of work had done before. That popularity has really only continued to grow over the decades. Being such a widespread idea, and one with increasing fascination for many people over time, it’s only natural that while I may favor Dracula and his exploits beyond all the rest, I have still seen SOME pieces of vampire fiction not necessarily related to the Count of Transylvania. So, I decided it was time to give all of them some attention. Now, I should point out that I won’t be counting characters I already talked about on my Top 31 Favorite Dracula list: even if they aren’t technically Dracula himself, such as with The Count from “Sesame Street,” or Count Chocula, it just seems like cheating to include them here since…well…I already brought them up, and it was in relation to Dracula! With that said, some Dracula-inspired characters WILL be present on this list that did NOT get discussed in the past, because Dracula-inspired does not equal Dracula himself. Also, I will be including characters who are dhampirs - half-vampire, half-human - or might be considered “unconventional vampires,” so to speak. If they have all the hallmarks I’m looking for, they can be eligible. Oh, and if you’re a fan of “Twilight”...firstly, you probably shouldn’t be reading this, and secondly, you’re going to be massively disappointed. :P Now that we’ve established those points…let’s waste no more time. Prepare some garlic and, if you don’t have any crucifixes handy, consider buying a couple: these are My Top 15 Favorite Vampires…Who AREN’T Count Dracula.

15. NOS-4-A2, from Buzz Lightyear of Star Command.

Starting off with an unconventional sort of vampire. NOS-4-A2 is Dracula parody character, created by the evil Emperor Zurg. He is a robotic “energy vampire” who detests the taste of blood, instead feeding off electrical energy. This, of course, still makes him a very dangerous threat, especially in a sci-fi styled universe with so many electronic gadgets and gizmos laying around, and with more robots roaming the galaxy than you can shake a stick at. Ultimately breaking away from his creator’s influence, NOS-4-A2 continued to bedevil the heroes of Star Command throughout the show’s run, and was arguably the scariest major villain of the whole show. This is especially fascinating since he was played by Craig Ferguson, of all people; not the most obvious casting to play a vampire of any kind, I’d say.

14. Demetri Maximoff, from Darkstalkers.

These games were inspired by the Universal Monsters of yore, with characters based on figures of fright like the Wolfman, the Frankenstein Monster, and the Mummy, just to name a few. Demetri is effectively the Dracula surrogate of the franchise…but, since he ISN’T actually Dracula, and I have not mentioned him before, I think he can count here. (Plus, in the…very, VERY bad cartoon series loosely based on the games, Dracula is actually present as a character and is Demetri’s uncle, so…there’s that, too, I guess.) Demetri is an extremely vain and power-hungry vampire warlord, who believes himself to be superior to not only all humans, but perhaps all other forms of life. This led to him arrogantly challenging the demon Belial to a duel in a time long past. Demetri lost, and thus was banished to the mortal realm, where he now seeks to find a way to regain his former glory. His greatest rival is the succubus, Morrigan, daughter of Belial. Demetri isn’t particularly complex, but he IS a very entertainingly dark and powerful character. At the same time, there are some humorous aspects to Maximoff’s personality: one of his special moves, “Midnight Bliss,” literally causes him to turn the male characters he fights into comical female forms, because Demetri really, REALLY prefers the blood of women to that of men. Also, how many other vampires will stop in the middle of a fight to spray themselves with cologne?

13. Lady Dimitrescu, from Resident Evil Village.

I could be entirely wrong about this, but I got the feeling that “Village”- much like the Darkstalkers franchise - was Resident Evil’s throwback to the classic Universal Monsters. When the villains include an elegant vampire, a werewolf, a mad scientist, and a mutant fish person, and the setting is a creepy little town with a dark castle? You’ll forgive me if I see certain parallels. Regardless of any influences, I think it’s fair to say that Lady Dimitrescu, a.k.a. “The Tall Lady,” stands on her own two (very long) legs quite well. While all of the villains in the game are different shades of awesome, Lady D. is by far the most popular. She is the first major antagonist the players encounter in this action/horror combination, as we are forced to try and escape from her Gothic castle while facing not only her, but also her equally wicked daughters. Dimitrescu isn’t a typical vampire, but rather the result of scientific mutation, which has transformed her into a vampire-like creature with a humanoid veneer. Still, she’s no more unconventional than NOS-4-A2, I’d say (or a bunch of other characters still to come), so I don’t see any reason she can’t count.

12. Father Abel Nightroad, from Trinity Blood.

Finally, a character who is decidedly NOT influenced by Dracula! There are a ton of vampire-themed anime out there, but I haven’t seen very many of them; again, I’m more into Dracula, specifically, than vampires as a whole. However, there are a few characters and shows on this list, and this guy is the first of them. “Trinity Blood” focuses on the adventures of Abel Nightroad, who is one of only two surviving members of a race known as a Crusnik (also spelled “Krusnik;” not sure which is the more generally accepted spelling): while vampires feed on human beings, a Crusnik is essentially a vampire that feeds on other vampires. Abel works for the Vatican (which, in the alternate reality of the series, has basically taken over the human world…read into that what you will), acting as a sort of ambassador, trying to keep peace between the nation of humans and the nation of vampires. Abel is a classic example of a character type I really love: I don’t know what the name for it is, but it’s a scenario where the character often appears to be silly and goofy and perhaps even a sweetheart, but underneath it all they are made of steel and can be VERY dangerous. Characters like Sans, The Doctor, Disney’s Clopin, Adrian Monk…the list goes on. Abel is one of those types: on the surface, at first glance, he’s a clumsy, sugar-addicted, perpetually-broke goofball who tries desperately to avoid all conflict. When the chips are down, however, he’s quick to remind those who cause trouble why he’s basically the alpha predator of this world’s food chain. It’s the classic “beware the fury of a patient man” concept: when the peaceful priest is also a vampire of vampires, the last thing you want to do is make him mad.

11. Taiga Nobori, a.k.a. Kamen Rider Saga, from Kamen Rider Kiva.

“Kamen Rider Kiva” is a Japanese superhero program - part of the long-running “Kamen Rider” franchise - themed around…you guessed it…Universal Monsters. The series focuses on the titular Kamen Rider Kiva (real name Wataru Kurenai), who uses his powers to hunt down shapeshifting, vampiric monsters referred to as “Fangires.” The Fangires are ruled by a chess-themed group of superiors known as the Checkmate Four. At the time of the series’ start, the current leader of the Checkmate Four is this character: Taiga Nobori, who becomes a rival of Wataru under the identity of Kamen Rider Saga. Taiga is a childhood friend of Wataru, who is ultimately revealed to secretly be his long lost sibling. Despite this, he at first plays an antagonistic role in the story; as the series goes on, he has to struggle with his relationship with Wataru, his love for Mio - a lady both of them love dearly - and his responsibility as the new King of the Fangires. Again, not by any means a conventional vampire (or dhampir), but a very fun character and more than worthy of placement on my personal list.

10. Bunnicula.

This little guy is almost undoubtedly the cutest life-sucking undead creature in history. Why? Well…he’s a bunny. A cute, adorable, fluffy, sweet little bunny with big red eyes and a little widow’s peak marking on his noggin. How can you NOT love this fuzzy little sweetheart? If I weren’t allergic to rabbits, I’d snuggle him to bits! Bunnicula is the mascot of the popular “Bunnicula” book series…however, in the original books, he’s not actually the main character. In fact, there are several short novels where Bunnicula never appears. He is, however, nevertheless, a prominent figure throughout the series. The books typically follow a certain formula: Chester the Cat and Harold the Dog encounter some spooky, creepy thing. Chester - an over-dramatic ham who never likes to admit his true feelings and isn’t as smart as he thinks he is - tries to solve the mystery in the most inept and hilarious way possible. Harold, who is much more practical and reasonable, basically acts as the straight man to hold back Chester’s crazy. Bunnicula is, at first, Chester’s arch-nemesis, as the cat believes the vampire bunny has plans for world domination…but in fact, Bunnicula is completely harmless. He doesn’t drink blood, but instead just drains vegetables of their juices, leaving shriveled, dried-up husks behind. It’s a bit creepy, sure, but he has no desire to hurt people or other animals. And, even though he may be centuries old, he’s still basically just a baby bunny; he’s way too young and sweethearted to even imagine world conquest. The books are highly popular - renowned for their messages of tolerance and looking-before-one-leaps - and have been the inspiration for multiple reimaginings and adaptations. Most of these versions give Bunnicula even more vampiric powers and heighten his role in things. Regardless, however, his basic personality remains the same: occasionally mischievous, but generally just a cuddly little bun-bun…who also happens to be an immortal vegetable-draining demon, but that’s just part of his charm.

9. Lestat de Lioncourt, from The Vampire Chronicles.

I don’t think I’m physically ALLOWED to talk about vampires (that are not Dracula) without acknowledging the work of Anne Rice. She is the author of “The Vampire Chronicles,” an EXTREMELY popular series that many consider to be second only to Dracula, in terms of influential literature. The books focus on the life and adventures of Lestat de Lioncourt: a centuries old vampire, living in 1980s America. Once the son of a nobleman, Lestat was transformed into a vampire by an ancient evil; in the modern day, he is now the head of a vampiric rock band. Rice is often credited with revitalizing interest in vampires as a concept, especially focusing on the sexual overtones of the idea, and the sympathetic qualities of a lonely, eternal life. This reputation is…somewhat dubious; as far as I can tell, these things were popular and noteworthy well before her first book was published. In my opinion, the REAL power of Rice’s work is due to two specific factors. First, the explicitness of the writing: her books are some of the raunchiest and most violently bloodthirsty vampire novels written up to that time. Through literature, she gets away with stuff that, up to that point, not even most films - in a genre that was growing increasingly brutal and randy - could get away with. Second, and I think this is where her reputation really shows its power…Lestat himself, and the way he’s treated. It’s not simply that Lestat is a sympathetic character, it’s that - unlike, as far as I can tell, ALL major, noteworthy vampires in fiction before him - he isn’t treated necessarily as a monster. He is not the antagonist, but instead the main character we follow and learn about, as well as learn from. While he is not necessarily a hero, he also isn’t the villain, and is not meant to be seen as such; he is simply a man who has lived a very long life. And like any man, ESPECIALLY one who has lived a long life, he has done many terrible things…but he has also done many good things. Ultimately, I personally find other vampires and vampire stories much more interesting than Rice’s work, but the influence she’s had cannot be ignored. Lestat is more than deserving of recognition in my Top 10.

8. Vamp, from Metal Gear Solid.

Of all the unconventional vampires on this countdown, Vamp is arguably the weirdest. Rather than a supernatural being, Vamp is what might be termed a “science vampire”: the result of biological experimentation, rather than anything magical or paranormal. Not only that, but despite looking like a vampire, having vampire-like abilities, being of stereotypically vampirish Romanian descent, and even having a literal taste for blood…Vamp’s name has NOTHING to do with him being a “vampire.” (Where does his name come from? Look it up, I find it to be absolutely stupid, so I’m not naming it here.) It’s as if the creators wanted to make a vampire character, yet for some baffling reason didn’t want to make him a “real” vampire. While this whole setup is utterly backwards, it does nothing to harm the actual character, thankfully. Vamp is one of the more well-known antagonists in the MGS series, despite only appearing properly in two games, and a personal favorite of mine (for obvious reasons). He is vicious, mysterious, has a slight flair for the dramatic, and generally is just really, REALLY cool. The most noteworthy thing about Vamp - aside from his superhuman strength and speed, and the fact that he’s REALLY hard to kill - is his skill with knives and daggers. Whether it’s wielding them at close quarters or flinging them about left and right, his abilities with blades make him a particularly frightening foe to take on, and his boss battles are among the more tricky in the titles he appears in. Kudos must also go to voice acting great Phil LaMarr, whose unsettling performance is a big part of the character’s appeal. Whether he’s a “true” vampire or not, Vamp is certainly vampire-themed, and therefore I say still more than counts for the top ten on my list.

7. Seras Victoria, from Hellsing Ultimate.

I specifically credit “Hellsing Ultimate” because I haven’t watched the original Hellsing anime, nor have I read the manga. With that said, “Hellsing Ultimate” is one of my favorite anime programs, as well as quite possibly the single most violent I’ve ever seen. While the main protagonist of the series is Count Dracula-I mean, Alucard (GREAT way to disguise your identity there, sir), I would argue it’s the apparent secondary protagonist of the series who has the most dynamic story arc. That character is everyone’s favorite “Police Girl,” Seras Victoria. At the start of the show, Seras is a young rookie cop whose squad is attacked by a horde of ghouls, controlled by a villainous vampire. Alucard is only able to save her life by transforming her into a vampire as well. The rest of the series has Seras trying to balance who she is with what she’s become: she not only has to discover how to handle her newfound vampiric powers, but also has to learn and accept what it really means to be a vampire. Some people seem to dismiss Seras as pithy comic relief - she is the most lighthearted character of the main cast - but I feel that’s an extremely unfair assessment: while I admit it took a little time for me to warm up to her, I now feel she’s one of the most interesting characters in the show, second only to Alucard. Seras is earnest and altruistic, at times almost childlike…but she is also more than capable of kicking butt, and is as mighty on the battlefield as virtually any of her comrades. It’s that wonderful dichotomy of her being a good, gentle person and a powerful, stalwart warrior that makes her so enjoyable. It’s rare you’ll find well-written, strong female characters who are able to be impressive physical threats while also still being generally good-hearted human beings, as well as very funny to watch. Seras is such a rarity, and earns all the praise she gets and more for it.

6. Carmilla.

If there is a single vampire that has been portrayed as often as Dracula…well, factually, there hasn’t been. But if there is one who comes close, it’s the Countess Karnstein: the titular character of the story “Carmilla” by J.S. LeFanu. Her story was, in fact, an influence on Bram Stoker when he created “Dracula.” The story is most well-known because it is heavily, HEAVILY implied that Carmilla is a lesbian: considering the tale was published in the 1870s, it’s kind of amazing that LeFanu got away with that. Of course, the REASON he got away with it is because he depicted the lesbian character as being a literal bloodthirsty monster, but Carmilla, in the book, is also something of a tragic figure. Her feelings for Laura - a young lady who befriends her, not realizing Carmilla wants to make her into her next victim (and probably has the hots for her) - are ultimately unreciprocated, but from Carmilla’s side at least, they seem to be genuine, or at least very passionate. Once she is slain, Laura doesn’t rejoice: she admits that she misses the person she considered a friend, and still has nightmares about the horrible truth itself. The character of Carmilla has appeared multiple times beyond the story, but sadly I haven’t seen many interpretations: Hammer Horror’s “Karnstein Trilogy” of films follow the book to a point, before veering off into wilder territory. In the “Castlevania” franchise, Carmilla is a recurring antagonist, usually serving as Dracula’s rival, follower, or both. She is referenced in “The Batman vs. Dracula” as Dracula’s former bride. In “Fate/Grand Order,” it’s revealed that Carmilla’s true identity is the infamous serial killer Elisabeth Bathory. None of these have ANYTHING to do with LeFanu’s story, but they are certainly intriguing. There are much more faithful versions out there, if you look, but I have not experienced them…yet. I was very tempted to name Carmilla in my Top 5, but ultimately I think there are just more characters, in general, I like more, so she just barely misses out. Sorry, ma’am.

5. Noe Archiviste, from The Case Study of Vanitas.

If there is a single vampire ALMOST as adorable as the aforementioned Bunnicula, I would argue it’s Noe: one of the main protagonists of the anime “The Case Study of Vanitas.” The show is based on the manga (which I still need to read) by Jun Mochizuki: the creator of my favorite manga (and what SHOULD have been my favorite anime), “Pandora Hearts.” While PH is a reimagining of the “Alice” stories by Lewis Carroll, “Case Study of Vanitas” is an homage to various works of dark period fiction. It contains various references - some more obvious than others - to literary works like “The Island of Dr. Moreau,” classic horror films like “Nosferatu,” and more. The plot is set in a steampunk universe where vampires and humans co-habitate more or less harmoniously. Many vampires in this world are infected with a mysterious curse, which turns them into violent monsters. Noe is a young vampire nobleman, who - while traveling to Paris - ends up becoming a bodyguard for the mysterious Vanitas: a self-proclaimed doctor who uses a magical book to “heal” cursed vampires. At first, the two start off on a very rocky relationship, but as time goes on, they eventually become friends. Noe is wonderful because of the dichotomy of his character: on the one hand, he’s absolutely precious. Seriously. He’s usually friendly, naive, at times a bit dim, tries hard to be polite, loves his pet cat, and is filled with a sense of spellbound wonder at the world around him, showing an excitable playfulness. He’s typically just the most loveable cinnamon bun of a vampire you could ever meet. On the flip side, however…he IS a vampire, and not only that, he’s a POWERFUL vampire. While he’s usually an absolute sweetheart, his patience is not limitless: if Noe is angered, or feels a need to defend himself, he can be TERRIFYING. I really love characters who have that kind of dual nature, and Noe is a great example of it: easily a fine pick for my top five.

4. David, from The Lost Boys (1987).

It’s hard to believe, given the bad rap he often gets nowadays for movies like “Batman & Robin,” that filmmaker Joel Schumacher was actually considered a highly respected and talented movie master. He, in fact, made a bunch of REALLY good movies in his time, and many would argue that this horror-comedy blend is his best. “The Lost Boys” is considered one of the most influential modern vampire stories, alongside the aforementioned works of Anne Rice, but in a different kind of way: the vampires in the Lost Boys are not elegant, glamorous figures, nor sympathetic immortals tortured by their own eternity. These are what I call “punk vampires”: the main villains are basically your standard biker gang of Goth hoodlums, who love wearing leather, smoking, drinking, causing general street mayhem, and swagger around with cocksure pride in their antics. They just also happen to be vampires, and have all the powers vampire have as a result: extended lifespans, eternal youth, flight, superhuman strength, and various other supernatural abilities. The allure of these vampires comes from their vivacity and fun; there’s a certain “wish fulfillment” aspect to the way the vampires are portrayed in “The Lost Boys,” as they represent all the things people sort of WISH they could do…but the cost of having so much power and access to so many thrills is very high. Nowhere is this better embodied than in the main antagonist, David, played by Kiefer Sutherland. David is a charismatic fellow with a commanding presence and charm. He is the quintessential “bad boy”: a sensual, attractive portrait of raw danger. He is also, however, a murderous psychopath, without a shred of compassion left in his soul. Whenever I think of vampires, David is one of the first characters I imagine, and more than worthy of a spot in my top five.

3. Genevieve Dieudonne, from the works of Kim Newman.

I say “the works of Kim Newman” because Genevieve was originally created as the heroine of a series of books by Newman called “Drachenfels.” These books are connected to the highly popular “Warhammer” franchise. I know basically nothing about either of these things. So, how is Diuedonne so high up in the ranks? Well, as it turns out, Newman also used the same character as one of the main protagonists of another series I really, REALLY love: “Anno Dracula.” For those who came in late, “Anno Dracula” is set in an alternate universe where Dracula succeeds in taking over England, ultimately turning a large number of the population of Europe into vampires. In many ways, I think the books succeed in doing something that I personally feel other vampire stories that are perhaps more acclaimed - such as the works of Anne Rice - didn’t quite manage for me: they completely humanize the vampires. Vampires in Anno Dracula aren’t treated as monsters inherently; they may drink blood, dislike sunlight, and have certain weaknesses, but at heart, they’re still basically just people. Some are good, some are bad; it really depends on what is in their heart of hearts. Other universes that have come since have taken this idea as well, but “Anno Dracula” is the first I’m aware of, and in my opinion still the best attempt at the idea. Genevieve herself stands as a testament to this philosophy: she is essentially the “Anti-Dracula.” She is even more ancient than the Count, and presumably just as powerful, if not moreso. However, while Dracula is a self-serving villain who seeks power and glory, Genevieve is a good person at heart, who simply tries to do what she feels is best for not only her fellow vampires, but for people as a whole. She has many of Dracula’s abilities and traits we would recognize - being very dramatic in her own way, very cunning, extremely well-educated, and also an experienced warrior - but she has gone in an extremely different direction as a person. I don’t know how the version in the Warhammer universe compares to Genevieve in “Anno Dracula,” but if she’s anything like the one there, it only cements how much she deserves place in my Top 3.

2. Blade & Morbius, from Marvel.

There are many vampires and vampire-like creatures and characters in the Marvel universe. Dracula himself, as I’ve said in the past, is among those ranks. However, aside from Dracula, two particular vampiric figures stand out amongst the crowd: Blade the Vampire Hunter, and Morbius the Living Vampire. Frank Blade - originally born “Eric Cross” - is a dhampir who has devoted his life to hunting down all the evil vampires of the world, along with many other monsters. His arch-enemies include his “father,” Deacon Frost, and - you guessed it - Count Dracula. He is a brilliant swordsman, marksman, knife-wielder, martial artist, and all-around badass. Michael Morbius, meanwhile, is a sort of “science vampire”: created not by being bitten by a supernatural fiend, but instead mutating as the result of a biochemistry experiment gone wrong. Driven by an insatiable need to consume blood, lest his physical condition - brought on by the experiment - worsen exponentially, Morbius flip-flops between being a sympathetic villain and an anti-hero in the Marvel universe. In the comics, the two have clashed several times; in fact, one particular battle between the pair led to Blade actually gaining some new abilities, as a result of the Living Vampire’s DNA mingling with his own. Outside of the comics, the two have been adapted and reimagined multiple times for other media (with mixed results), though the only time I know of where they MET in other media was the 1990s show “Spider-Man: The Animated Series,” where Blade and Spidey had to work together to stop a rampaging Morbius. Whether you love them together or separately, and whether you prefer the comics or other interpretations, they’re two of the first characters I think of when I think of vampires in general. They are probably the most iconic vampire characters in superhero fiction. That, if nothing else, definitely earns them a high place on my list.

1. Alucard, from Castlevania.

It is perhaps fitting that a list of my favorite vampire characters NOT including Dracula should finish with the Count’s son. Because that is what Adrian Farenheit Tepes - a.k.a. Alucard - is: the Son of Dracula. Alucard is one of the main protagonists of the Castlevania franchise, having appeared in virtually every reiteration of the franchise: from the classic games, to the “Lords of Shadow” reboot trilogy, to the recent animated streaming programs on Netflix. As the series has evolved and changed over the years, so too has Alucard, but the basics of the character have always remained the same. Alucard is the son of Dracula, and a human woman. When the Count is driven mad by the death of his wife, Alucard is forced to take up arms against his father, to stop the King of the Vampires from spreading death and destruction worldwide. Being a vampire himself (or, at least, half-vampire), Alucard is just as immortal as his father, and nearly as powerful, meaning that - better than any Belmont, or member of the Morris family, or other mortal monster slayer - he can keep a watchful eye on the dark lord and his minions. Alucard is my favorite character of the entire Castlevania franchise, and while every version is slightly different, the simple and yet classic conflict between father and son is a big part of the reason why: in each rendition, you realize each side cares about the other, but their philosophies make it difficult for them to co-exist. As a result, he is one of the most fascinating and yet tragic characters of the series, and is one of the first characters I think of when I think of Castlevania. I don’t know how many other people would place him so highly, but for me, it’s almost no contest placing Alucard as My Number One. If anybody can rival the Prince of Darkness best, it is him.

HONORABLE MENTIONS INCLUDE…

Strahd von Zarovich, from Dungeons & Dragons: Ravenloft.

Not hugely into D&D, hence why I can’t count him on the main list. ‘Nuff said.

Lothos & Amilyn, from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992).

I said I couldn’t count the series, never said anything about the movie that inspired it. Played by Rutger Hauer and Paul Reubens, respectively, these vampire villains are probably the funniest characters in the film. Reubens as Amilyn, in particular, gets one of the most hilarious death scenes in any motion picture, period.

The Sackville-Bagg Family, from The Little Vampire.

I’ve never read the book series, but I have a big soft spot for the 2000 film; loved it as a kid, still like it now.

Dio Brando, from Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure.

I know basically nothing about Jojo, but I felt I had to include him here simply because people would kill me if I didn’t.

Kurt Barlow, from Salem’s Lot (1979).

I’ve never read the original Stephen King novel, but the 1979 miniseries adaptation is pretty much “Dracula in Modern New England.” Reggie Nalder’s Barlow has barely any screentime, but the impact of his actions and evil presence is enormous. Plus, REALLY cool Nosferatu-inspired costume and makeup for the win!

Vladimir, from League of Legends.

Vladimir technically isn’t a vampire, but a blood mage; however, considering he literally has a Nosferatu-inspired alternate look, I think I’m justified at least giving him an Honorable Mention.

[traffic-light-eyes]

Imagine, after everything is said and done. No more darkness, no more evil-doers, no more overlord. Just peace.

What would the Ninja do next?

Nya would go into techs. Maybe she'd intern or shadow Borg tech, and she'd work there. That's a possibility, but after she learned all she could, she would definitely make her own tech company. She'd be less phone and game tech and more automobile innovations. Maybe she created a new, super-speedy express train. I wouldn't put it past her to invent something akin to teleportation, somehow. That might be far, far into her future. Seeing as her job mostly consists of things that can not touch water, she'd most likely spend some of her time near creeks or waterfalls, just meditating and connecting with her element. Eventually, she might get bored of that and make her tech completely water resistant. Everything. I'll talk about Jay in his section.

Kai might try to become a martial arts teacher again, but he would eventually become less enthusiastic about it due to the many, many kids he had to deal with. Then, he tried to pick up blacksmithing again. He created a nice little shop back in Ignacia, looking almost exactly like his parents'. Years down the line, the ninja + Pixal, Skylor, etc. have a get-together/reunion. Kai and Skylor reignite their spark, and they try long-distance. It got stressful, so Kai decided to drop everything and move near Skylor. He worked odd-jobs and lived in a glorified shack just to be able to go out with her. Skylor offered him a job at the noodle house, and he accepted. Sadly, the noodle house closed down due to a lack of workers - even though Skylor, Kai, and maybe 2 other people put their all into it. It was sad at first, but they decided to make the most of it. Together, they wanted to create a new restaurant - a mixture of Chen's noodles and Kai's family heritage & recipes. They just couldn't figure out the name. What could incorporate both Skylor Chen and Kai Smith? Kai quickly came up with the perfect solution. On a beautiful night out, while Kai walked Skylor back home after a dinner date, they stopped on a bridge to look at the night sky. Kai got down on one knee and proposed to the love of his life. They married and could finally start their restaurant - The Smiths'. It was a hit, and they lived happily every day happily.

Zane left together with Pixal to explore the world. They went place to place, experiencing everything together. They did not marry - not for lack of love, but because they felt their love was so much more to them than some silly social construct. I mean, they are going to live forever, as long as they have the proper maintenance. So, they don't think that they need to marry. Even while traveling, they always make sure to come back for everyone's birthday and for holidays. They bring gifts and recipes and knowledge with them. Once they felt they experienced it all, they returned to Ninjago City and worked with Nya. Well, they didn't really work for her. They just popped up one day, and Nya saw them building in her lab. She let them, and they ended up making an awesome hologram for entertainment. They didn't sell it, but every one in a while, the ninja cuddled up again and watched an almost life-like rendition of a Fritz donnegan movie. Pixal and Zane also decided that they wanted children, eventually. So, they made them. They put parts of themselves into the child and even mixed up their own technical make-up to make their kids: Chip and Mackayla, or Mac.

Lloyd kept training the new Elemental Masters, as he felt it was his duty. He really wanted to be like his uncle and train the next generation to make sure they were good people. He didn't expect his deciples to fight off anything major because his team defeated it, but he still wanted them to know how to fight/good vs bad just in case something terrible happens after he and the rest of the ninja weren't around to help. His students became wonderful and helpful individuals, which is far more than he could ever ask for. Aside from training, he started studying and researching. He grew up in dangerous situations, so it's very difficult for him to sit still and not try to be ready for the supposed next attack. His students and his friends keep him in check, and thankfully, nothing comes to pass. He didn't end up dating anyone, not for lack of desire. He just felt in his bones that he would live a long, long life and didn't want to hurt himself by falling in love. He envies Zane and Pixal a bit because of this, but he'd never say that (they know. They feel terrible but can't do anything about it). They visit a lot, especially after the other ninja pass on. Eventually, a while after they make their kids, they make Lloyd a companion - a friend who can stay forever. He cried when he received the gift. He trains many generations of ninjas and sometimes even uncovers a new way to use the elemental powers or spinjitzu. With each new generation, his students get stronger. He lives a happy, fulfilled life.

Jay and Nya get married immediately. Their celebration of being done with evil was their happy, happy marriage. Everyone was overjoyed with them, and you could even see a misty-eyed Kai if you looked hard enough (it's just allergies, guys, I'm not crying. It's allergies. It's the pollen, I swear). After that, he started working on tech again with Nya. He loves it, but he started to get burnt out. He remembers his time on stage, being the center of attention in both real life and in Prime Empire. He makes a gameshow. It was something silly, at first. Like a "how well do you know the ninja" trivia game. It was super fun and he kept getting asked by producers and directors to host more and more gameshows. He became the Steve Harvey of Ninjago; everyone knew him, everyone watched him. When he openly stated that he was starting to get bored of the trivia-types of stuff, he was asked to act in movies and to host in wipe-out shows because of his expertise in agility. Eventually, when he and Nya decided it was time to have kids, he became the best stay-at-home dad anyone could ask for. He loved it. Sure, he got antsy because of the inactivity, but be quickly cured that by just playing with the kids. They ended up being incredibly sporty because of this.

Cole went to art school, even if he was older than most. He went to art school and became one of the best goddamned artists there are out there. He traveled with Pixal and Zane for a hot sec and made it a point to paint from atop every single mountaintop they reached. His artwork is displayed in many museums. One time, a little kid walked up to him and asked him to teach her how to be a good artist. So, he did. After asking her parents, of course (they were very, very starstruck when their daughter came home one day with Cole FUCKING Brookstone, the famous artist, the black ninja, one of the saviors of ninjago). She became like a daughter to him, and was even allowed to travel places with him. She became a wonderful artist under his tutelage, and gained a lot of recognition for just training under him. He realized he had a passion for teaching, and his young student (with a lot of persistence) got him to start his own little art school. He made sure not to broadcast his name or face on the building, because he didn't want people to come just because he was who he was. It became very, very successful and a lot of people have a superstition that being in Cole's presence gives you the ability to draw/paint. This is only mildly true (due to his insane ability to teach), but the Ninja make sure tease him about it. (Kai joined a class one day just to mess with him and was very surprised when he ended up leaving the building with a beautiful, realistic portrait of Skylor. They hung it on their wall and they're still baffled on how it happened.)

Welp. There you go. Here's what I came up with

[jules-has-notes]

collaboration spotlight — Twenty One Pilots mashup by Kurt Hugo Schneider & VoicePlay

VoicePlay fans sometimes joke that the sounds these guys can make are so incredible as to be inhuman. This production took that assertion one step further. Kurt had them record their vocal parts as they normally would, then he sampled and remixed those voices to create something very cool. The result is more electronic than their usual sound, but there's no denying that it's an innovative twist.

This is a video I rarely watch just once, since it can be a lot of fun to pay close attention to what each guy is doing individually and how they all fit together.

Details:

title: Twenty One Pilots mashup (ft. VoicePlay)

original songs / performers: all songs by Twenty One Pilots — "Heathens", "Ride", & "Stressed Out"

written by: all songs by Tyler Joseph

arranged by: Kurt Hugo Schneider

release date: 2 November 2016

My favorite bits:

setting the scene and premise while layering in each vocal part

Layne occasionally glancing toward the others to see if they're going to try to escape the situation

Eli's smooth delivery of the "Stressed Out" intro

Geoff doing some lowkey animation moves in time with his ♫ "wub-wub-wub" ♫ bass line

those crunchy stacatto harmonies on ♫ "I know. it's hard. sometimes." ♫

the ramp up in tension created by the frequency increase on Earl's ♫ "ri-e-i-e-i-e-ide, ri-e-ide, ri-e-ide, ride ride ride ride" ♫

Layne's breathy high-hat line (and whatever cool thing Kurt did to enhance it)

Geoff being able to actually hit the deep tones for ⇓ "Watch it!" ⇓, but still having the fun post-processing distortion to match the original sound

baby's first featured subharmonic drop!

Eli's big old belts and riffs in the final "Heathens" section

Earl bounding into the stratosphere for that last ♫ ⇗ "any sudden moves" ⇗ ♫

each of the guys "shutting down" as their parts end

Trivia:

This video racked up a million views in just three weeks!

The audio track is exclusively available through VoicePlay's Patreon.

Like so many of VoicePlay's prosthetic makeup effects, the coaxial plugs that turn the guys into input / output devices were created by Andy Wright at Makeup & Creative Arts in Orlando.

I'm not sure if they intended for there to be narrative significance to the placement of the plugs, but having Layne and Geoff's near their vocal chords, Eli's in his noggin near the parts of the brain that handle analytical tasks like reading and math, and Earl's near the Superman tattoo on his muscular arm all seem potentially symbolic.

A fan was inspired to draw fanart of the guys a couple months later, which they very much enjoyed.

VoicePlay had released their own full version of "Ride" earlier in the year as an installment in their PartWork series.

Layne and Tony had created a much sillier music video for "Heathens", featuring the Sanderson sisters from Hocus Pocus, as their Halloween offering from PattyCake Productions the month before.

The guys (including J.None) collaborated with Kurt again almost a year later for a rendition of "Waving Through A Window" from Dear Evan Hansen that was released in January 2018.

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #1161: Cats Out of the Bag (Persona 5 X Sonic)

1:43 p.m. at New Donk's Hotel & Suite: Futaba, Mona, Lavenza,Yusuke and now Omega's Room.......

'Door Opens'

Futuba: (Show Omega Hers and the Others' Room) And here we are!~Our luxurious stay for the next few days or so. Not as familiar and cozy looking as my old room obviously, but it still a nice place if I do say so myself

Yusuke: Agreed. (Grabs his Chin) Though, I do wish we would have more creative looking paint portraits sitting on thr walls, rather than having stock images.

Omega: (Walks into the Room and Starts Looking Around) .....It looks a lot more organized than I expected.

Lavenza: (Smiles Brightly at the Robot) You like it? Futuba-San has been doing a wonderful job keeping this place clean since the very first dat we came here.

Morgana: (Shrugs) How she's able keep it clean and not her own room will always be a mystery to me....

Futuba: (Glares at Morgana) Quiet, you! (Turns Away While Pouting and Crossing her Arms Together) In case you've forgotten, we are guests here. There's no way I could be as careless and messy was I back home.

Lavenza: (Smiles Sheepishly) That's admirable and all, but......

Morgana: Did you seriously admitted that you're a mess freak?

Futuba: Yes, I- (Eyes Suddenly Begins to Widened as She Quickly Turns to the Young Couple Behind Her) I-I am, NO, you brats! I ain't admitting jack!!

Yusuke: (Smiles Softly) It's quite alright, Futuba. I still love you regardless of how messy you are.

Futuba: (Immediately Turns to her Boyfriend While Blushing) Don't even go there, you sweetheart of an idiot! (Turns to Omega) Omega-kun, back me up here! (Calms Herself Down Once She Sees Omega Standing by the Windows) Omega?

Omega: (Looking Down at the Window) The residents of this city, almost resembles that as tiny insects in this upper distance.

Futuba: (Joins in on the Sightseeing) I know, right? They have a lot more folks than we ever had back in Shiyuba that's for sure.

Yusuke: (Joins in as Well) The view itself would always look breathtaking every time I come here. ('Sigh') Would've loved to create a rendition of this had I not forgotten to bring my art supplies with me....

Futuba: (Place her Hand onto Yusuke's Back) You'll have plenty time to make something next year, babe. Relax a little.

Omega: The more relaxation you receive could make your thinking process more clearer.

Yusuke: Yes, having a clearer mind is far more better than having far too many ideas filled up in there that's for certain. Perhaps a few more relaxation could benefit things..... (Suddenly Notices Something on his Left) I must say. Is that Ryuji and Haru-San over there?

Futuba: (Scooches Herself Over to Yusuke's Side) Where? (Watches Where Yusuke's Finger is Pointing At) Ah yeah, I see them. Sitting at a café, holding hands, and- (Eyes Widened Once More) HOOO MAMA, THEY'RE KISSING!

Omega: (Takes a Look as Well) And not a single Mistletoe detected.

Yusuke: (Struck in Awe at What He's Looking At Right Now) Such grace and passion....Their romantic though surprising....is still a sight to behold indeed.....Perhaps if I could recreate this potential masterpiece in some capacity-

Futuba: (Gently Swats her Boyfriend on the Shoulder) Hey. What did we say about relaxing, Inari.

Omega: (Glares at the Artist) Do not abandon your relaxation!

Yusuke: ('Sighs in Defeat') Right. Apologies.....

Morgana: (Joins in on the Sightseeing Along with Lavenza) Wait, who's kissing who now- (Starts Gasps Loudly at What He's Looking At Right Now)

Lavenza: (Clasps her Hands Together Happily) Oh my goodness!~ I had no idea Ryuji and Haru-San were dating this entire time, let alone look so cute together~ (Turns to her Boyfriend) Is this wonderful, Mona-Chan?~

Morgana has both his eyes and mouth widened in complete shock and silence.

Lavenza: (Frowns in Worry) Mona-Chan-

Morgana: WHAT ARE YOU DOING, RYUJI SAKMOTO!? (Place Both his Hands and his Face onto the Glass of the Window) GET THE HELL OFF OF MY MOTHERRR-

Meanwhile In the Streets of New Donk City

Ryuji: (Shares a Romantic Kiss with Haru in the Sidewalks Before Pulling Away For a Brief Second and Chuckles Lightly) Geez, Haru~ I know ya love me and all, but can't you wait until we get to a Mistletoe to start kissing me like that?~

Haru: (Giggles Softly) I'm sorry!~ You're too cute and loveable for me resist properly.

Ryuj: Loveable, huh? Don't think I ever had a girl call me that before.

Haru: Well, it's true, isn't it? You're a real treasure, Ryuji-san~

Ryuji: (Smiles Brightly) So are you. In beautiful sense, of course~ (Winks at his Girlfriend)

Haru: (Giggles Some More) Okay, it clearly seems that our fifteen seconds break is up for now. (Places her Hand onto Ryuji's Cheek Before Leaning Closer in a Seductive Manner) Come to mama~

Ryuji: (Smirks Back) Yes, ma'am~ (Resumes Back to his Make-Out Session with his Girlfriend)

Back at the Hotel Room

Morgana: That's it! (Moves Away From the Window and Makes his Way to the Door)

Futuba: (Sighs as She Turns to see Mona Storming Off) Mona, where are you going?

Morgana: Going for a walk in the city. Have a talk with a potential deadman if he even thinks about hurting her!

Omega: There are over a thousand civilians currently present in the streets. You could easily get yourself lost in your tiny state.

Morgana: A risk I'm willing take! I'm not gonna waste my time standing here without taking some actio- Wait, why am I not movi-iiing!? (Eyes Widened as He Looks Down to See That He's Levitating in Mid-Air In a Blue Colored Aura) What the heck!?

Lavenza: (Uses her Magic Abilities to Levitate her Boyfriend with One Hand, All While Giving him a Stern Glare in the Process) Morgana, I forbid you from stepping out if that door.

Morgana: But-

Lavenza: Nono. I do not want any ifs, ands, or buts coming out of that mouth of yours, mister. Your anger and stubborness are clearly clouding your sense of reasoning right now, are they not?

Morgana: Come on, I'm not that angr-

Lavenza: (Raises an Eyebrow in Silence)

Morgana: ('Sighs in Defeat') They are.......

Lavenza: (Simply Nodded) That's more like. Now, when lower you back on your feet, I want you to CALMLY tell us why this is making you upset. Understand?

Morgana: (Nodded in Agreement as He Slowly Gets Lowered Back Down on his Feet) Yes, ma'am.....

Futuba: (Giggles Softly) Will would you look at that?~ Little Kitty Bro here finally got himself wh-

Lavenza glares at Futuba in silence.

Futuba: N-Nevermind.

Morgana: (Takes a Deep Breath Before Speaking) Look, it's not like I'm completely against the idea of mom with dating anyone, let alone Ryuji, I just.....('Sigh') Can't stop thinking about that jerk she was forced to marry in the past......

Yusuke: (Simply Nodded) Understandable. His actions alone are more than enough to make anyone's skin crawl. But even then, we've known Ryuji far enough to know that he is far superior man than he wishes he could ever be.

Mona took the time to let what Yusuke said sink in. Despite their constant bickering and differences they have for one another in the past, even he knows that him to that scumbag Sugimura, is an incredible insult in it of itself.

Morgana: Yeah. You're absolutely right, he is a great man. Truly (Sighs While Facepalming Himself) Sorry, I didn't mean to act all hostile like that. Haru means a lot to me and I.....guess i just didn't wanna see her get hurt again in any way, you know?

Futuba: (Gives Mona a Reassuring Smile on her Face) Hey, I feel ya. We all have our protective moments we gotta work on from time-to-time. Just try and Ryuji a chance on this, yeah? He may not be the brightest in the world, but he's still a really great guy all around.

Morgana: (Takes a Deep Breath Again Before Speaking) It's gonna take a while for me to get used to it completely, that's for sure. (Forms a Small, Sincere Smile on his Face) But I'm more than willing to give it a go. For mom and Ryuji's sake.

Lavenza: (Happily Hugs her Boyfriend Next to Her) I believe that's very mature of you, dear~

Morgana: (Starts Blushing) I-I wouldn't really say I'm the most mature of bunch-

Futuba: ('Heh') Yeah. (Smugly Pushes the Side of her Hair Up a Bit) That honor goes to me obviously~

Lavenza: (Giggles Softly)

Morgana: (Rolls his Eye) Uh-huh. Sure you are.

?????: Ohh kids, we're finally heereee!~

Futuba: (Immediately Recognizes that Voice) Yo, Rouge, Knuckles!~ Long time, no- (Slowly Widens her Eyes at What'sNow in Front of Her) seeeee?

The rest of the gang turns to see the couple standing in the doorway. The former holding onto her shopping bags with bright smile on her face whereas the latter is covered with multiple kiss marks and a very annoyed look written all over his face.

Knuckles: 'Sup.

Futuba: (Tries her Hardest Not to Laugh Out Loud)

Omega: (Already Has a Deadpinned Look on his Face) Do I even want to know what had during your shopping spree trip

Rouge: (Playfully Fiail her Hand Down) Oh it's nothing for you to worry your little metal head about, dear~ Knuckie and I just stumbled upon a few Mistletoes along the is all~

Knuckles: Yeah. TWELVE of them to be exact. (Points at his Girlfriend Besde Him) And this bat woman has been kissing me THIRTY-ONE TIMES already! I counted on the way getting here.

Rouge: Here's to one more~ (Points Knuckles to Yet Another Mistletoe Hanging Above Them)

Knuckles: (Eyes Widened in Frustration) Ah come the hell on! Seriously!? (Turns Back to the Group) Who put that up there!?

Everyone turns to Futuba as the Culprit.

Futuba: (Smiles Sheepishly While Shrugging) I-I dunno. I just thought our room could use a little Christmas spirit, you know?

Knuckles: With ONLY a Mistletoe!?

Futuba: It's the only declaration we're allowed to use!

Rouge: It's more than enough, dear. (Moves Knuckles' Head Face to Face Towards Hers as She's Already Smirking Seductively) Now, come, Knuckie~ Let's continue this lovely tradition once mor-

Before Riyge could finish her sentence, Knuckles pulls her close to him as he gives her the most twelve second long passionate kiss of the lifetime, powerful enough to leave the flirtatious bat speechless.

Knuckles: (Starts Panting a Little) There......Our Thirteenth Mistletoe encounter and Thirty-Second kiss, obtained! Now, it's time to find our room. (Gives Rouge One More Kiss on the Cheek Before Storming Off, Grumbling) I swear, I better not see another Mistletoe around here or I'm punching something.....

Rough's knees starts to shake as let's her bags drop on the floor, then dropping herself on her knees, still completely speechless at what had just happened earlier.

Omega: ('Sigh') I am too highly advanced for this tomfoolery today....(Walks Over to Rouge) I will take Rouge to her destinated room. And make sure Knuckles doesn't get himself too lost in the process.

Lavenza: (Eagerly Raises her Hand) Ooh, can I help, Omega-kun? I've memorized every room number on each floor.

Omega: (Simply Nodded) Go right ahead. (Picks Rouge and the Bags Up in his Arms Before Walking Out) The more assistance, the better the process.

Lavenza: (Smiles Brightly While Clasping her Hands Together) Spendid!~

Morgana: (Walks His Girlfriend to the Doorway) Need any help along the way?

Lavenza: No need. I'm sure we'll have everything done before you know it. Hopefully. But before I leave.....(Gently Grabs Hold of Morgana's Cheeks) For your maturity today.

Lavenza gives Morgana a gently yet loving kiss on the lips under the Mistletoe, leaving him speechless as well.

Lavenza: I love you, Morgana. Always. (Gives Mona Another Kiss on the Forehead Before Running Out the Door) Omega-kun, wait for me!

Morgana's knees starts shaking before inevitably dropping down on his knees.

Yusuke: (Watches Mona on his Knees Speechless Under a Mistletoe) Hm. Odd. (Turns to Futuba) Has the Mistletoe always have this strong effect on those who kissed under it.

Futuba: (Brings Yusuke Closer to the Mistletoe with Her) Only one way to find out. (Place Both her Hands onto Yusuke's Cheeks) Pucker those lips, boy!

The artist and geek shares a quick, passionate kiss under the Mistletoe before pulling away.

Yusuke: Hm. I don't feel the sensation of having my knees shaking. (Turns to His Girlfriend) How about you?

Futuba: (Shaking in her Knees While Being Flustered Bright Red and the Lens of her Glasses Has Already Fogged Up) F-F-Feel....K-K-Kiss.....I-i-Inariiiiii~ (Starts Falling Down Before Yusuke Was Able to Catch her in his Arms)

Yusuke: (Grabs his Chin) You know, I should really consider getting another sketchbook for Christmas this year.

@princekirijo

@cyber-wildcat

@caleb13frede

@bestpony666

[darklordazalin]

Azalin Reviews Darklord Adam

Domain: Lamordia Formation: 575 BC (the actual date various in different sources, but I was there to witness its formation, so take this date to be the most accurate) Power Level: 💀💀💀⚫⚫ Sources: Ravenloft Gazetteer Vol 2 (3e); Domains of Dread (2e); I, Strahd the War Against Azalin (Novel).

Based on rumors, Lamordia went through significant changes in its latest rendition, but this week I shall review it as it once was and tell the tale of Darklord Adam and the constant harsh weather that plagues “his” domain. The settlements of this land are constantly assaulted by deadly blizzards and frigid air coming from the Sea of Sorrows in the winter and infestation of insects and insufferable heat in the summer. I do not recommend visiting, especially given how adverse the entire populace is to magic. I am positive my late father would thoroughly enjoy it, however.

Everything about Lamordia is based upon structure and scientific reasoning set within a utilitarian society. The people have a scientific explanation for everything despite the obvious supernatural phenomena that occurs all around them. They are adverse to any type of magic - whether it be the far more superior arcane arts or the divine. This disbelief is so tightly held that the land itself is known to suppress those that attempt any form of casting. Though, I have it on first hand accounts that this effect does not always occur.

It is highly dangerous for those who deny the existence in the arcane to essentially practice it. I’m surprised Lamorida hasn’t imploded in on itself yet, for Dr. Victor Mordenheim’s science clearly surpasses the realm of the supernatural. Given the nature of the domain, you would think Mordenheim would be its Darklord, but he is not. His creation, a flesh golem of rare independence, is the true Darklord of Lamordia.

Let’s dive in a bit to the tale of these two idiots. When Mordenheim and his wife, Elise, were unable to conceive a child, he devoted himself to the study of life and death; above all, other ways in which life could be created. I can...understand that inclination. It is important one has an heir to carry out one's legacy and rule. Of course, he went about it like a blind fool with no sense of the magics he was tapping into for he denied their very existence.

Adam was the result of 13 years of labor which he spent away from Elise. Moredenheim created Adam to appear as a perfect physical specimen. And upon first blush, I suppose one could say that is true. He is muscular yet lean with long black hair and I am told that sort of thing is appealing to some. However, close up he is a mockery of beauty like a horrible painting gifted to a King by a so-called artist.

Made up of pulsating arteries and tendons seen just beneath the thin bits of grey flesh, Adam is disgusted by his own appearance. Interestingly, when my little scholar interviewed Adam he told her that Mordenheim made him but another source provided him with his “soul”. So, it seems that Mordenheim’s science only brought him so far and it was likely the powers he denied that truly brought life into Adam.

Elise was unsettled by Adam’s appearance and despite her discomfort her husband decided to adopt a girl to act as a playmate for Adam. That seems like a very bad parenting decision and coming from me...well, that says something, doesn’t it?

Adam became obsessed with Elise and wanted nothing more than her acceptance and approval. Accounts of what transpired on the night Lamordia appeared on the border of Barovia differs between Adam and his maker. They both blame the other, but in the end whether Adam was a murderous villain or a victim attempting to gain acceptance, his adopted sister fell to her death after an encounter with him and Elise was mutilated.

Death would have been kinder for Elise, but Mordenheim keeps her alive through “scientific” means. Her heart beats through the working of machinery alone and he constantly switches her limbs and skin out in attempts to receive her, but only accomplishes keeping her in constant pain. If the foolish man believed in Divine or even the Arcane and not dismissed those practitioners of both, he could have healed her condition. I myself have been known to use such magics to prolong my own life when I was a mortal man.

Mordenheim’s monstrous creations roam Lamordia, but despite the obvious arcane nature of these creations, the people and the Doctor himself still dismiss the arcane. They will not accept it, just as they will not accept Adam. And this is the curse the Dark Powers bestowed upon Adam, to never find the acceptance he so hopelessly craves. To live alone on an island, over-dramatically named “The Isle of Agony” as he plots against his creator. When my little scholar interviewed Adam he said that Lamordia was Mordenheim’s even though it shouldn’t be and that they were “all his children”.

Adam is tied to Mordenheim and devotes his existence to making the Doctor’s life as miserable as possible, like the overgrown rebellious teenager that he is. Though, this is quite easy seeing as the Dark Powers bond the two together so that Adam experiences Mordenheim’s physical pain and the doctor experiences his creation’s angsty teenage ways.

As flesh golems go, Adam is one of a kind with many immunities to mundane weapons and certain magical energies. Still, without any arcane mastery of his own, a skilled wizard could make quick work of him. Though his curse is interesting, it makes his tie and rule over his own realm obsolete. As such, I will give Adam 3 skulls for this review and Mordenheim does not even get a skull. I despise those that practice the art without respecting it and those who do so without realizing it? Utter fools.

[halfagone]

Hello! :-D

Quick Question: What is your headcanon on why some ghosts are just crazy strong and others more or less ordinary people?

Not talking about the Ancients, but, like, Technus, Ember, Johnny 13, heck, even the Lunch Lady kind of. And ordinary people... hm, the people in Dorathea's kingdom?

Love your work, btw! I'm always blown away by your writing! Literally makes my day better! Wish you the best! <3

Hello! X3

First off, thank you so much!! I'm always happy to hear people enjoy my writing~ And I hope you know you've brightened my day up too. <3

As for your question, I will begin with a general warning: This response will include discussions about MULTIPLE CHARACTER DEATHS. Please proceed with caution!

There are a lot of headcanons in the fandom in general about this one, but I think the most general response for this would be: how powerful a ghost is directly correlates to their death. So things like: How did they die? When did they die? Thoughts/emotions during their death, etc. This also ties into headcanons about cores and Obsessions and the like.

I'll use your example of Ember. A lot of people headcanon that she died in a house fire and that's why she has flaming hair. Most often I see the explanation that she had been home alone after being stood up by a crush when her house caught on fire and she perished within, forgotten. Hence why her popular song has her chanting "Remember". I actually have a similar but different rendition of this headcanon where she did indeed die in a house fire because her parents had been out on date night and- despite her mother's reminders- she forgot to turn off the oven and slept right through the alarm. And by the time she woke up, it was too late.

In this context, I would say because she was cognizant before her death, she had time to realize what was about to happen to her, which made her impression on ectoplasm much stronger, hence creator a stronger ghost.

This also ties into let's say... Box Ghost. For Box Ghost, I headcanon that he worked in a warehouse while he was alive. There's backstory to this idea too; his coworkers had been considering unionizing and going on strike because of the poor pay and dangerous working conditions. Boxy might have even gone with them... had he not been killed due to those very same working conditions.

His death is unexpected. He's crushed by heavy machinery and/or equipment. He has no time to rationalize what's going on, but his last thoughts are about living a better life, which helps create his ghost... But because there's no strong imprint, his ghost has a very basic rendition or memory of what his life used to be. He died holding a box, he remembers that the box is important to him. His ghost builds and grows of that basic impression. You get the idea.

There are also headcanons about natives of the Ghost Zone. Like Frostbite. Different people have different names for it, I usually use terms like ectoplasmic entities, since 'ghosts' typically imply they had lived at one point. Whereas these people had never been mortal, but are still living their own lives. Yeah, it's complicated. 😅

Dora's citizens, or the people of Mattingly, could be that entity type. I don't remember if it was ever confirmed if Dora and Aragorn were ghosts or not, since the show always insisted that ghosts were essentially aliens from another world (despite giving Desiree a backstory where she died??? They really did not try hard to convince us otherwise.). A Glitch in Time seems to imply that they were ghosts though, which could lend credit to another idea:

Where you live in the Ghost Zone can make you more powerful. I know I talk about Marsalias a lot, but they really do have wonderful worldbuilding for the GZ. I recommend their Kingdoms of Fish series to get an idea of some possibilities out there.

I myself wrote the Ghost Zone to have similarities to the ocean. In the Trench, the ectoplasm is thicker and more congealed, if you will, which means anything that lurks or lives there is typically more dangerous, because their bodies must be stronger/hardier to move through the thicker ectoplasm.

Maybe the kingdom of Mattingly lives in an area of the Zone that's more suited for dragons, but also means that its citizens either have to be stronger to keep up or! If you headcanon that ghosts have different core elements, then they aren't suited for the area but stay because they can't or don't want to leave. Which would make them weaker.

There's also concepts that the stronger ghosts absorb more ectoplasm, leaving only crumbs for others. Aragorn could be consuming more ectoplasm, or maybe the amulet is a natural magnet for it. This would keep his people subjugated and deferential to him, while also maintaining homeostasis for his powers.

Lots of different options available for you if you wanted them. I use whatever suits my purposes, although I generally like the headcanon that it's a case-by-case situation, because then I don't have to make convoluted rules for myself. I can just say, "That's how [insert character here] works." And I've saved myself three weeks of insanity.

I hope this answered your question? lol I do have some other examples, but I hope this gave you a general idea, because if it gets any longer we would be here forever. XD

[lookthetart]

Child Ballads, rated (1-10)

Because I can :)

1, Riddles Wisely Expounded: 8/10. Dated at least 1450, the morning after a wild night, the knight puts the woman's wits to test. Only if she can answer the riddles he'll marry her. I like the contrast between the sweet melody and my girl fighting tooth and nail for a life of spouse support, and the riddles are actually very sweet.

2, The Elfin Knight: 7/10. It is ballad 1 on steroids. The elf knight makes a series of absurd request to the woman to marry her, she uses a UNO reverse card and makes more absurd requests to him. This chaotic energy conquers the knight, who marries her. Also, the Scaraborough fair (10/10) ballad is a more recent evolution of this and they have been classified as the same ballad! Minus: i don't like the "blo blo blo blo blo the winds blows", I hear blo blorbo blows and I'm not confortable. I may actually prefer Scaraborough Fair.

3, The Fause Knight upon the Road: 3/10. Not even a beautiful rendition (fiddler's dram) can save this ballad from being boring. The child doesn't fall in the devils tricks and goes to school and listens to his parents... boring, 0 edgy. Strong stranger danger rethoric

4, Lady Isabel and the Elf Knight: STRONG 10/10. First murder ballad!!! The princess is feeling naughty, she steals gold and horses from the castle and runs away with the elf. But here the elf knight is actually a serial killer!! After bringing her to the banks of the sea he reveals that he has already killed 6 of the King's daughters, Isabel is to be the seventh. She asks for a last kiss by him, and takes her chance to throw him off his horse and tosses him in the sea 🥰 he begs for his life but my girl is all "lie there, you false young man, lie there instead of me, for if six maidens thou hast drowned here, the seventh has drowned thee" 🥰🥰 Honestly SLAY Isabel! In some versions she returns home and her parrot (wtf, barbie animated movie moment) helps her to keep the story from her father

5, Gil Brenton: 0/10. Difficult to find a decent adaptation, also not a fan of the "cutting the breasts of the wife if she is not a virgin" theme. The plot twist that he was actually the one who raped her earlier in the woods doesn't make things a lot better and it's unclear how they manage to not recognize themselves. Eww.

6, Willie's Lady: 9/10. Sweet ballad. The witch mother of king Willie (his mother did him dirty already with the name) despises the foreigner woman he married. The mother (who has always voted Tories and supported Brexit) curses the daughter in law to be always pregnant, but never deliver. She tells her son to leave his wife to die and remarry, but the son will not tolerate his mother's bullshit further. He comes up with a plan: he creates a doll of wax and invites her mother to the christening. She doesn't realize the trick and is furious that somebody undid all her spells, and in her rage reveals how to actually undo them.

7 and 8, Earl Brand and Erlinton: 3/10. Not tragically bad, but unremarkable. The Earl loves the lady, they cannot marry, they run away together. Her brothers pursue them, wound him, in Earl Brand he dies, she dies of sorrow, in Erlinton they escape. Already seen, next.

9, Fair Flower of Northumberland: 11/10. This late 1500s ballad screams that people have always been people. The support of the mother to the daughter (even if she broke all social expectations by freeing the prisoner, stealing from the parents, running away with him, "her love was easily won" ) actually moves me. The contrast between her begging the scotman to either kill her or use her as a servant in order to not face shame at home, and the mother welcoming her home with a smile and reassuring her she is not the first to make mistakes, and she'll have everything as it was (bread, wine, silver for a marriage) and that she is STILL the fair flower of Northumberland moves me to the core 🥺🥺🥺

10, Two Sisters: 9/10. Murder ballad that has everything: family drama, hauted instruments made of human bodies, an interesting relationship with many similar ballads in Scandinavian countries.

For this post that's all, but I may continue to review them when I've time

[looseygoosey66]

JUNE 2013 COVER STORY – Pearl Jam Guitarist Stone Gossard Making Time for ‘Moonlander’

“We live and we die by time. And we must not commit the sin of losing our track on time.” ~ Chuck Noland: “Cast Away”

Time is an amazing thing. It is precious and it can be fleeting. It seems the older you get, the faster time flies by and your life is measured by what you do with that time.

Pearl Jam guitarist Stone Gossard certainly makes the best of his time. Not only is he in one of the world’s biggest rock bands and constantly touring, but he also has Brad, a side band with his friends Regan Hagar and Shawn Smith. More importantly, Gossard is a father and husband.

“My typical day isn’t always music,” Gossard said from his home in Seattle. “I usually get up, drink way too much coffee, make sure my daughter eats her cereal and I brush her hair before school. Then I take her to school, run some errands, then come home, walk the dog with my wife, then have lunch, pick up my daughter from school and come home and play. Then it’s diner and a movie and off to bed. That is the excitement of my day now. I love it.”

“Then again,” Gossard continued, “the typical day could mean getting up, flying to South America to play some shows, write some music or go to the recording studio.”

Gossard has found the time and the perfect way to merge the love of his family with his music on his sophomore solo album Moonlander. The album will be released on Pearl Jam’s own Monkeywrench Records on June 25. Gossard started releasing singles 10 weeks prior to the official release date.

“We knew we needed some art work to go with the album so we came up with the idea of an original piece of art to go with each single we put out every week. When you have an album and you don’t plan on playing a lot of shows, if any at all, you have to do something special with promoting the album to draw interest and have a destination to generate interest so people can hear it. I don’t know if this idea will work, but it was fun.”

The art work incorporated with the single was provided by Gossard and his daughter.

“My daughter loves to paint and draw and when she would, I would as well. I hope the pieces convey a sense of freedom from formal rules and of playfulness that comes from hanging with your lovely 5-year old.”

The weekly single idea grew when Gossard’s wife found Washington state craft maker, Terri Swinhart at Once Upon a Drawing (http://once-upon-a-drawing.blogspot.com), they sent one of the drawings to the artist and she created a “softie” which goes with each single and which Gossard signed and gave away in weekly contests.

“My wife found Terri Swinhart online and we sent her a drawing my daughter did to see if she could make something for us and when we got it back the softie was dead on. It was mind blowing. She does a great rendition of the art work.”

When working on a solo album time is a luxury Gossard does have. It’s been 12 years since he released his solo debut Bayleaf and the 11 tracks for Moonlander were recorded over an 8-year span, 2003-2011.

“Over the last year, I went through all of my old demos and recordings that weren’t used as Pearl Jam or Brad songs and picked my favorites. With the help of Floyd Reitsma (Studio Litho engineer), Pete Droge (Executive Producer), and Hans Teuber (multi-instrumentalist and long time Hank Khoir collaborator) I went about trying to finish them. There was lots of re-singing tracks, fleshing out and re-editing, adding new instruments…”

As most guitarists do, Gossard would save any guitar riffs to his computer for possible future use. Over eight years of doing this, the hard drive became pretty packed with riffs, songs, or lyrics Gossard had to sift through.

“As a guitar player if you come up with a little something you want to save it just in case, even though about 90 percent of the time you know it won’t be used. But you keep it because…I don’t know. “

As a music veteran of over 25 years and being in some of rock’s seminal bands (Green River, Mother Love Bone, Temple of the Dog), Gossard doesn’t find it time consuming going through all the files when trying to record a song for an album.

“I never had a problem focusing on a project, whether it is Brad or Pearl Jam, you just get in and listen. I don’t find it hard going back through these pieces of music. I make quick decisions to get things done. I had this record done about five years ago, but as I listened to it then, the album wasn’t a good as I wanted it to be. So I put it back in the cooker again to make sure I had everything I wanted before releasing it.”

For the most part putting out a record is about timing but when you are in the position Gossard is in, one doesn’t have to worry about getting a solo record out or putting one out if at all. But when you are an artist who is always creating, you know when the time is right to showcase your work.

“I just had these moments about everything that were recurring where I would think about these songs I was working on. I would always go back and work on them if the studio was available and work on overdubs, guitar parts or just listen until I got what I wanted.”

To get what he wanted, Gossard enlisted an impressive collections of friends/musicians to play on the album. Moonlander features appearances from Matt Cameron (Pearl Jam, Soundgarden), Matt Chamberlain, Regan Hagar (Brad, Malfunkshun, Satchel), Pete Droge, Brandon Harper, Gregg Keplinger, Keith Lowe, Barbara Ireland (The Fags) and Hans Teuber.

“I have been so fortunate. If I’d look back and thought about the people I’ve played with and got to meet. With all the twists and turns I have been through in my life in music, I am so blessed to play with people like Ed [Pearl Jam frontman Eddie Vedder], Josh Homme from Queens of the Stone Age or Shawn Smith [Satchel, Pigeonhead, Brad] and the list goes on and on. I am a little bit numb to it because it just seems natural. I don’t know how to explain it…I am truly blessed…I don’t know what I did exactly, but it has been incredible. “

Gossard has always been one to recognize and use his fortunes to help people, communities and the world. Gossard has supported and/or worked with amazing foundations.

“I’ve always been conscious of philanthropy even before the success. It’s about giving back, creating a better place for everyone. It comes in waves for me with my schedule. It’s very important to me. At the end of the year I do what I can to give back and help those people in need. It’s something I’ve been involved with and do it when I can. I wish I had more time to do it on a more consistent basis.”

With his new album Moonlander and his daughter hand in hand, Gossard continues to give back with his music and time, finding the littlest things in life mean the biggest.

“I think my idea of fun these days is the simplest things. Staying with my daughter, going to the beach to throw rocks in the ocean, teaching her how to fish, watch her play…that’s a big night out for me. Hanging out with the wife and my daughter…when you have a kid you can’t be more in love.”

ALBUM REVIEW

Stone Gossard - Moonlander

(Monkeywrench)

A dozen years after his funky first solo album Bayleaf, Pearl Jam guitarist Stone Gossard returns with Moonlander.

The captivating 11 tracks from the album were recorded from 2003-2011. Scouring through his hard drive of old demos and recordings that weren’t used as Pearl Jam or Brad songs, Gossard compiled enough material for Moonlander.

With the help of musicians/friends – Matt Cameron (Pearl Jam, Soundgarden), Matt Chamberlain, Regan Hagar (Brad, Malfunkshun, Satchel), Pete Droge, Brandon Harper, Gregg Keplinger, Keith Lowe, Barbara Ireland (The Fags) and Hans Teuber – the songs show Gossard stretching his legs as a solo artist, and most notably his confident singing voice. In addition, the songs come to life with the help of Floyd Reitsma (Studio Litho engineer), Pete Droge (Executive Producer), and Hans Teuber (multi-instrumentalist and long time Hank Khoir collaborator).

Gossard stays true to his love for funky riffs on the opener “I Want Something Different,” which contains a blistering soulful guitar lead. The title track is a playful homage to Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust-era complete with the bells and whistles in the sound effects. The first single “Both Live” is so infectious you will be singing the chorus (“I gotta go, I gotta swim, I gotta use my fins”) long after the song is over. “Your Flames” and “Battle Cry” are two gorgeous slow burners finding Gossard’s warm vocals envelope you with his storied lyrics.

“I Don’t Want To Go To Bed” starts off slow with janglely guitar strums then catches on with a soaring chorus while “Remain” is a straight-forward story teller ballad. The sleeper hit of Moonlander is the fun, quirky ass-shaking groove of “Witch Doctor.”

Moonlander is a journey in funky quirkiness, Americana, pop, rock and jazz musicianship all wrapped in Gossard’s unique (and somewhat puzzling) song lyrics. In short, Stone Gossard has hit the mark with this one.

[faintvibes]

Historical Hetalia Day Five: 1800 - 1945

Day 5: 1800 - 1945 // Shadows @historical-hetalia-week

When making this piece, I'd been having Thoughts about the potential relationship dynamics between Nyo!Prussia and Germany. Then I happened to stumble upon a glorious mess of a German dress, and this happened. My only regret is making Germany so damn young when (judging by canon, vaguely) he's prooooobably an adult at this point.

More of an explanation is under the cut!

Let's start with Prussia, since the idea for this piece only began to be truly conceptualised upon finding that goddamn dress. Here it is, by the way:

It's from the book "Ein Hauch von Eleganz: 200 Jahre Mode in Bremen" (A Breath of Elegance: 200 Years of Fashion in Bremen)- which appears to have been created on behalf of the Bremen Museum of Art and Cultural History (you'll have to forgive me if that's incorrect- my German is still a work in progress!)

The moment I laid eyes on this, I knew for a fact Prussia would wear this. The dress is tacky, bewildering, and absolutely delightful.

It's dated to 1885, so take that as a loose setting (beyond just '1800s') for this piece. However, the dress is likely the only sure piece of proof you'll find of this. For one, Prussia's hair (nevermind that it hasn't been styled) does not fit the fashionable cut of the time. Women tended to cut their hair short at the front, and then curl those bangs. However, I have a headcanon relating to N!Prussia's hair/general sense of identity (a very long story, that I'd rather save for its own post... maybe... someday... than shove in here!) that makes me think she'd not be so inclined as to cut it. While here, in the privacy of her residence, she doesn't bother to even style here hair- though this is likely a different case in public.

As for what she's doing? Probably preaching about her awesomeness!

At the time of making this, I'd just recently discovered a 3 part series focusing on Prussia's life (uploaded to Youtube by rano) originally from Bilibili (here's part one). I'd adored a fair few of the outfits throughout the series, but two of little Germany's stood out to me:

I'd asked my parents to vote on which one they liked better, and they picked the one you now see! Fun fact: in the video's rendition of the outfit, all those little specks on the vest are tiny patterns. Prussia's dress was enough for me y'all, no way was I gonna be able to draw those on too (｀Д´)

The background is inspired by this image of a room in Sanssouci Palace, built by Frederick the Great of Prussia:

I didn't want to overload the piece with red, so I changed up that colour- but the patterns below the bench Prussia and Germany are sat on are based on the patterns bordering the bottom of the walls.

And yeah! From here I'm pretty sure the explanations are going to be shorter than the first few days :) But thanks for reading, if you've made it this far! That's pretty cool of you