#i have this vacuum actually

[industrations]

Reggie of the day: doing chores

[notbecauseofvictories]

I'm cautiously gearing myself up for a conversation with bff where I tell her that we need to recalibrate our relationship, and....I genuinely don't think I've ever had a serious, emotional conversation with someone I care about before.

I've never been a Conversation Haver; I tend to take the approach that people can't significantly change without meaningful reason, and since I am not and never have been someone's Reason, I cannot prompt change. Therefore, my choices are (a) live with what is; or (b) end/limit the relationship.

But....this is my best friend in the world. I do love her. I just can't keep on as we've been going, where it's less a friendship and more ten minute intervals where I talk about my life, after which the focus switches. I once sat in a bar for two hours waiting for her; afterwards, she asked if I wanted to stay in her hotel room like I didn't have to get up in another 5 hours and drive to work. She texted me during my recent trips, and when I said I was traveling she asked no further questions. Said nothing unless it was about what she was reading, what she was doing. I'm not even sure she realized I was traveling at all, just unavailable to her.

I can give a high-level summary of her PhD thesis. I'm not confident she knows where I work.

Truthfully, part of this is that we simply have different social styles....but still. Coming back from my family trip, I said I was tired and trying to get work straightened out, she should go ahead and plan something for the holiday! I was free! Only for me to text a week later....and promptly have her join me, for my previously standalone plans. Oh, and she asked me to bring my camera, because she wants headshots for her new job.

I still love her very much, but if this is the kind of relationship we're going to have? I need less of it.

[why-the-heck-not]

20.12.23, wednesday

My main hobby is just procrastinating in any way I can. The plan was to make a cup of coffee and then start working. What actually happened is that I watched a 3 part video series (by james hoffmann ofc) on Aeropress coffee and made a few cups with different variables. Still not sure if I found The Recipe for me, but it’s getting better (tho I don’t love the coffee beans I have)

[secret-spirit]

That one post of Veldigun!Alex stealing back their voice from the foundation through Toon Lankmann is such a hilarious mental image like HUH

Anyway quote i found that just fits that

[farahfriday]

[lord farquaad pointing and laughing meme] the british man has fallen for the american imperialist propaganda!

ghost image credit to yumethefrostypanda

[i-reblog-everything44]

The fandom when Anya is nice to jimmy and compliments/butters him up after the crash: obviously this is a fawn response. She doesn’t actually think these things about jimmy, she is simply trying to protect herself against a volatile, unstable person by placating him

The fandom when curly tries to placate jimmy by telling Jimmy he’d fix things, after being very nervous about jimmy’s anger and reaction when talking to Anya right beforehand and his heart racing so hard on the way to confront jimmy that he’s likely on the verge of a panic or anxiety attack: hmm. Obviously everything curly is saying to jimmy here is completely genuine and not motivated by anything. He obviously doesn’t care about the fact jimmy raped Anya and only cares about helping jimmy at the detriment to Anya. He’s a rape apologist. There could literally be no other potential explanation for why curly is saying the things he is saying right now. Let’s take everything curly is saying here completely at face value and not analyze anything else about Curly’s behavior or the rest of the scene.

[seriously why are people only capable of recognizing the fawn response in Anya and not Curly]

[itspileofgoodthings]

had a very nice realization about peace, especially spiritual peace, the other day. (Been brewing for a while.) and it’s just: peace is for the non-peaceful.

[unopenablebox]

the way people talk about """"building community"""" feels so weirdly like. abstract? artificial? alienating? idk. i see those posts and have an immediate reflexive feeling of "this could only be done by some entirely other kind of person with whom i share no skills or interpersonal approaches" and it takes me a while after that to remember that i organized a union

[effemimaniac]

feels kind of, how do you say, "le ironic" that one of the biggest tensions immediately post-breakup was my posting about it, anything to do with it beyond vague nothing statements about my feelings was ~too personal~, didn't matter how tongue-in-cheek it was, postcoping was off the table so to speak. but every time they brought it up to me I took it seriously and communicated my feelings and adjusted my behaviour because I thought there was something there to salvage. then just a couple weeks after the move he's talking shit about me on his blog in a really deceptive way, and when I bring it up to him his private response was basically a complete denial to engage or take any kind of accountability, and afterwards his public defense was that he thought I wouldn't see it. which is provably untrue, I mean in the week before we moved out we had a conversation where I said I still checked in on his blog, I just didn't follow him because I didn't want it showing up on my feed. we weren't talking all the time but we were normal at that point. that part was pretty confusing, but I guess that defense wasn't for me, it was for everyone else that didn't know the situation and might believe it absent of any other information. but aside from the fact it was blatantly false it was also just kind of a stupid defense? "oh I thought this person I told I wanted to still be friends with and still checks my blog wouldn't see my post misrepresenting her. yeah it was meant to be behind her back. that makes it better somehow." who is that for? it's insane.

[girlatrocity]

??? IS THAT IT?

[louthestarspeaker]

There's like this one genre of post and video essay I keep seeing from people who say they aren't upset about the HTTYD casting for racist reasons, they're upset because they don't like the characters they love to change. They're attached to their appearance, and they'd be uncomfortable with any deviation.

I am going to give these people the benefit of the doubt and assume this is true. But, like, so? Why do you think your discomfort should be prioritized over representation?

You realize that's what you're saying right. They shouldn't have cast Astrid as a black girl to protect your comfort.

And you can say it's not about race and you'd be just as upset with any changes, but when you do that you're ignoring a larger context that I don't have the privilege to. This franchise (that I do love) has had a long acknowledged racism problem. People put the idea of a "faithful" adaptation on some kind of pedestal but HTTYD was not perfect, and I'm not interested in preserving that aspect of it.

And I can hear the original character defense coming from a mile and away and yes. Absolutely there should be original characters of color being written with intention from the very start. But if Dreamworks is going to thrust HTTYD right back into the center of the cultural zeitgeist again, then I am glad as hell they're doing it with POC included this time.

Do you know what it's like to be excluded so often you don't even think to look for yourself anymore? I grew up writing stories with only white protagonists because I, in the most literal sense possible, did not realize you could write stories a different way (and this wasn't a long time ago I'm young, you guys).

And the absolute joy that comes with seeing yourself represented in media you love? Do you know how much it changes you? I swear to God it alters your trajectory.

You don't get to put your comfort above others knowing they're accepted. Above little black girls all over the world watching this movie with a new kind of magic in their eyes because now black girls can ride dragons too.

It's not some great, egregious thing to you that Nico Parker is playing Astrid. It's not some mortal wound that you can never recover from. If you're so attached to one version of the character, then watch the version with her in it, it's not hard. The film isn't being force fed to you, if it makes you unhappy, act like a mature human being and don't interact with it.

But you don't get to exclude people of color again just because it makes you feel better that we're not there.

[eldritchqueerture]

you never realize how much of our language for emotions is rooted in experiences from our bodies until you have to write emotional experiences of an entity that only possesses an arm up to the elbow, a foot and two eyes.

[parchmentknight]

realizing that i am an outlier in fandoms because i do not ship anyone with anyone

[ivan-fyodorovich-k]

Growing up I remember people complaining about Boomer parents being self absorbed, abandoning or neglecting their children, and engaging in other bad parent behaviors. I remember I used to know one guy who complained boomers had not just consumed everything, they licked the plate clean and left nothing for future generations. The answer to this is not to be better parents but to have no children at all, thus resolving the tension between pursuit of the self (which we are assured is not selfish) and the selflessness parenthood demands by removing children entirely. No more leaving nothing to future generations, because now there will just be no future generations.

the logic is unassailable. We have not created for ourselves a society that is configured for having children, though the vestiges persist (the childless report the vague pressure to procreate). Not to have them frees up time and money for career and for instagram worthy travel.

i cannot argue against this, but it seems deeply nihilistic to me in a way that leaves me feeling extremely cold

[velvet-games]

viktor what did they do to you

[solcarow]

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