#i have this thought at least once a week
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Izou sitting on Naga's lap
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so i'm just gonna die one day??
#what#death anxiety#i have this thought at least once a week#and then i freak out about it lowkey#highkey#is everyone experiencing this#most of the time it's like WAY more than once a week#i miss when i wasn't ever thinking about this#i can't cope with this shit genuinely#i guess it's better than being 15 and wanting 2 kms tho 💆♂️#what if i don't want to stop existing
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🌿🌿🌿
#theocedit#the oc#ryan x seth#seth x ryan#seth cohen#ryan atwood#tvedit#usercassidy#tusernoelle#userlix#addys-beth#userdiamond#tuserandrea#tusermanon#usermai#userelsbeth#*#drugs cw#i have thought about this scene at least once a week since my last rewatch#it is so hilarious to me skhsjsks
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“It kinda feels personal.” | for @catws-anniversary ♡
#happy day 2 of catws anniversary week🤗 catws on 🔝#catws10#steve rogers#steverogersedit#brock rumlow#brockrumlowedit#marveledit#marvelgifs#mcuedit#mcuchallenge#capedit#dailymarvelgifs#mcufam#marveladdicts#marvellegends#rumrogers#shieldbones#gif*#edit*#*#for a few seconds when rumlow calls him 'big guy' steve literally isn't even poised like he's about to fight#his hackles are up but his arms are down at his sides like he honestly thinks rumlow is going to say something to him worth hearing#that breaks my heart because he must have thought rumlow was his friend or at least that they were on the same team#come to find out rumlow is the enemy steve already died fighting once and now he tells him to his face it isn't personal#like?? isn't it??#'it kinda feels personal' is such a badass line especially the way chris delivered it but 💔#tbh i believe that rumlow believes it isn't personal as in they have to get rid of captain america which is ideological not personal#when rollins asked if steve wore a parachute the way rumlow said 'no he wasn't' makes me think he was actually fond of him#but in a 'if only you were hydra' way
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When your ruthless henchmen have pack bonded and continually lie in a pile like kittens
#UTDR#UTMV#Bad Sanses#My Art#Finally got my art motivation back! Just in time to have one more day off and then back to work all week!! orz#But here's a lil silly doodle to celebrate anyways#I had Nightmare's dialogue in my head when I woke up this morning so I thought what the hell#Might as well draw the boys in a heap for funsies#Sometimes they do spread out and do their own thing#But usually at least once a day it's sit on each other o'clock
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Hello may 31th anon! Look at that, another year behind us and a new one to come. Have a nice day! ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡
#may 31th anon#hello friends!! (。’▽’。)♡ how are you!! I missed you so much!#I'm sorry that once again i have not been posting but I did that thing again where I got scared of posting#I do not know why but it is the same with physical paper diarys#I have 3 diarys and they all have 1 entry#I think one just says 'I am ten'#what have you been up to!! did you do something fun? is it summer too where you live? c:#my tumblr messages seem to be broken! I'm sorry if you wrote something :C it just says 'no new messages' despite also saying new messages#not a lot has happened here! I got a tomato plant and then I got very invested into the tomato plant and I have eaten three tomatos so far (#my roses are also doing well!! I just got a new yellow rose and since she got here she only made orange flowers#I do not know the meaning of that#but I am very thankful! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡ I love it when things are orange!!#I've been trying to buy an orange shirt for the past 2 weeks but they always sell out before I get to them#I'm also thinking about buying a jean jacket#I have not worn a jean jacket for at least 15 years because one time in 7th grade tthe girl behind me said#that I was wearing a cool jean jacket and I just assumed that this was bullying for no actual reason#but maybe she just thought that it was an acutal cool jean jacket#we'll soon have out 10 year school reunion#maybe I should ask her#is anyone else going to a secret Sherlock phase again#I just want to see that silly little hat again#would sherlock holmes wear a jean jacket#have a nice day everyone!!#see you soon hopefully!!#♡^▽^♡
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#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 3#yakuza series#yakuza 3#yoshitaka mine#tsuyoshi kanda#daigo dojima#snap sketches#the like. one time im actually bothered to draw anything for myself and it has to be the most niche bullshit i could muster#i just want mine to use kanda's head as a bowling ball at least once. itd be funny#anyway this is MY dead souls au any questions or comments will be seen by my lawyers#i didnt think id finish this today i thought id just save this for the weekend but my commissioner was taking A Hot Minute to get back to m#and i already have my week scheduled for other comm work and i figured 'fine i will be self indulgent ONCE'#ok bye im sleeping#or playing minecraft idk we'll see. or i will at least.
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nnnnnnnnnnnnno maa'am
#my want to draw traditionally literally split me open for the past week and leaves me literally depressed i'm so serious i can't even look -#- @ my art programs without wanting to throw up omfg should;ve never picked up those pencils#but it's ok i just needed a nap#something so relatable about them i think nelvas has something in it for everyone meanwhile eltl is secluded art museum.#it's very possible to walk around in neloth's and talvas' brains but eltl is off limits. they will NOT! get no drawings like this outta me#wtf r they thinking ........#< eltl not nelvas#something nobody on dis earth can understand ..........#talvas wants to live he likes living but neloth's presence is so strong that it overrides and deletes his will to live.#bruuuuuuuuh#i bet the feeling of neloff is in everything he does if they ever part ways he won't be able to fold clothes or anythign without wanting -#- 2 cry . for what reason . idk bc neloth once yelled at him for folding clothes like shit .what am i on rn#(talvas thoughts mode) I want this old man to hug meeee😢😢😢#NELOFF DO IT and smash him too before i do it first .#me and neloth are the same person tho so it doesn;t matter but w/e#i'm getting emotional over them right now this cannot be real#i love her .... (Skyr1m)#i opened the game for .5 minutes today to take pics of a character uight what a beautiful game.#Te/s having such extensive lore ruins the whole entire game and the franchise but whatever . skyr1m is an art piece that's just how i feel#also this might be a very hard pill to swallow for some people but t*lvas is literally a kin Vessel for young women that keep getting -#- hit on by men twice or thrice their age when they're just trying to live their life .#this feels so profound to me i need dis shit inmy discord bio right NOEW.#Talvas................................#(eyes watering) (holding palm out)#suicide //#just in case but this tag would've gone crazy with my drawings of ulfr*c from late 2022 where i drew him with slit wrists. very artsay#is it not. i didn't like neither of those drawings tho i need to revisit cus i can feel ulfr*c on a diffaraaant level#when will i run out of tags. the way you can tell i just LUH talvas look at me drawing his hair in that second pic 😑BRU#look at me also trying to replicate pencils digitally in the first.. hmmm i don't hate it#at least it soothes me and i don't have pencil withdrawal
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When you and your friend share a single braincell together
#twisted wonderland#twst#deuce space#twst yu#twst oc#doodle comic#This plan definitely did not helped them get through the rain safely#At least they tried though!#Yu probably only agreed because it's getting late and is desperate enough to leave school#Anyway I'm getting this idea out of my system before I study KASHDGAKSDH#Only thought of this bcs not once have I left my dorm without any heavy rain for this week#I'm glad that the place I'm interning at is few minutes away that I can reach through walking#since I do not want to commute through that weather
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What do you think Odile does for a living? She feels teacher like to me. What do you think she would do post canon?
HMMMM THIS IS GOOD QUESTION…
ive seen a lot of people hc her as a teacher / professor so i!! think that suits her pretty well. specifically as someone who studies + specializes in different types of craft (that would be why shes so proficient in multiple craft spells. also how she was able to figure out the loops stuff, AND to find something that could prevent siffrin from looping back).
post canon i am not sure… i am always torn between how the party would handle things post canon. obviously they would keep travelling for a bit, odile alongside her family without the stress of. constant sadness encounters + a king to kill lol. i think maybe she would get to take her time, reeaally get to know vauguardian culture when not within. a crisis. as was her original intention.
eventually. EVENTUALLY. when the family settles down somewhere (i am a “they all get a big house together” believer lol) she would get back into craft stuff. maybe go back into teaching too—surely people would be eager to hire a saviour. especially though i think it would be neat of her to try looking into wish craft etc, as a long forgotten form of craft. to satisfy her own curiosity, for siffrins sake, or just as a way of preserving the countries culture in whatever ways possible.
#asks#ive never gotten to talk about this before#and its a little unrelated to the odile thoughts so im putting it in the tags#but. surely surely. there must be some group out there dedicated to looking into this. suddenly lost island#no one remembers the country ofc. i bet its hard to even think about. probably difficult to dedicate an entire project to#but you also have to imagine. the day the island disappeared. the effect without anyone realizing why#people from the island. vacationers or visiting family etc. going through some sudden spell of amnesia all at once#and their loved ones + family being equally confused#also the fact that? given bambouches (probable) proximity to the island. that many of these cases wouldve popped up there#what did people think was going on. at the time. did they assume it was a disease?? a curse?#and then forget about the entire ordeal a week later#anyway point is. someone mustve found that suspicious. theres gotta be at least one person#which to me means i find it very likely there could be research gone into it. esp esp since the party members knew about. Some island that#isnt there#anyway anyways im rambling way too much#i think odile should look into wish craft. i think siffrin would appreciate it#if not because. it was a piece of him that was Important#but also to impart the actual Dangers of it to. others#am i making sense i dont know#isat spoilers#anyways oops thats not about odile anymore#lol
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I need to see more of these two asap- you can't tell me they wouldn't be best friends
#sth#sonic the hedgehog#sonic fanart#espio the chameleon#they really gave us two older brothers who have too many responsibilities for their age and they just.. dont interact??#i like to think they meet up at least once a week to just hang out and actually act their age for a bit. and just talk.#gave espio one of my old outfits- just for fun. that jacket was so torn up :(#sonespio#< as a treat <3 ik this doesnt look super romantic but the thought was there lol#esponic#sonic x espio#jello art tag
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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ok friends. i've been having a Think,
if you don't know what au i'm talking about it's here and there's details about martyn sprinkled around in there. yay 👍
(factors to consider are: 1) does it suit him and 2) does it suit the bamboo jungle-y kingdom vibes. i guess)
#for the person who asked me almost two months ago if i had designs for ren and martyn. this is for you <3#i've thought abt their designs at least once a week since i got that ask i just don't have TIME to draw it yet#but i will soon i hope... hence the poll. anyway#dunno what i'll do with ren yet either. but i'll get there#pho.posts#pho.polls
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steve plays tony sappy love songs from the 40s!!! he also ventures into the 50s and 60s, hits ALL the old time-y songs. he's so in love and this is how he shows it best (along with his art of course, he has an entire sketchbook dedicated to tony).
the first time he does it, they're in the kitchen, steve's making them breakfast and tony is at the table with a coffee. steve's phone is set up, playing music, soft, quiet songs, mostly instrumentals. once he has the pancakes on a plate, he changes it to a billie holiday song. it's something so, so sappy and tony grins and is like "he's playing me love songs now?" and steve grins back and says "maybe. are you complaining?" the tips of tony's ears are pink but no, he isn't complaining, not one bit. when the song ends, tony kisses him and says "i love you too, y'know." and steve does know.
the next time, they're in tony's work shop, tony's playing around with some new suit ideas for the team and steve's drawing (tony as he is then, stained with oil smears, hair askew, absolutely beaming). steve smiles softly and requests that jarvis play this dean martin song. tony turns to look at him, that same grin he had the first time spreading across his face, "you're ridiculous." steve gives him his best who me? face and tony throws his head back and laughs.
tony takes them out of nyc, some place in upstate new york, so they could stargaze. he knows nothing about the stars, and steve is just as clueless, but it's less about that and more about just being with one another, experiencing the world's beauty together. though steve spends most of the time looking at tony because well, he's more beautiful then any star or moon. steve goes for bing crosby, and tony laughs into steve's shoulder, eyes shining in the silver lighting, "i'm starting to think you have a playlist all made up." steve presses a kiss to tony's head, "maybe i do." "sap." steve laughs, "only for you." tony then gives him the softest look, love so plainly there, and it leaves steve breathless, "aren't i lucky." steve thinks he's the lucky one.
they're in bed, tony had woken up from a nightmare and can't fall back asleep. steve's running his fingers through tony's hair and using his other hand to rub his thumb over tony's own hand. it seems to mellow tony out to some extent, but he's still tense and his eyes are glazed over, he's somewhere in his head, lost to whatever thoughts are consuming him. steve picks nat king cole now, though this time, he sings it himself. he's not a singer by any means, but he doesn't let that stop him. it pulls tony back to the present, and he cracks the tiniest of smiles. steve takes that as a win.
tony's hurt. he's hurt and he's unconscious and looks oh so pale and broken laying in the hospital bed. it's been nearly two days now, and steve is exhausted. he hasn't left the hospital chair, despite the rest of the team telling him he needs rest too. nat had almost dragged him out of there and to a shower and his bed, but he's nothing if not stubborn. she gave up, in the end, and told him to at least eat something, before leaving, saying she'd be back in the morning. steve clutches tony's hand, fighting the urge to cry yet again. he does the only thing he can think to do, the only thing that might be able to fix this in some way. he starts to sing. it's ella fitzgerald this time. his voice is dry, cracking with each word, but he keeps going. it's comforting, in a way, and he hopes it's comforting for tony too, hopes tony can even hear him. the tears come anyway, despite his best efforts, and the lyrics catch in his throat. then, in an answer to his prayers, tony squeezes his hand. it's weak but god, it's there and steve chokes out a sob, relief coursing through him. tony'll be okay.
"are you ready?" steve asks, moving to wrap his arms around tony's waist. "i was born ready, capsicle," tony says back with a wink, settling his arms around steve's neck. they fit together perfectly. frank sinatra starts to play, they had picked this one together, for this moment, and they start to dance. with the way tony's looking at him and the way the ring sits snug on his left hand, steve feels his heart swells in his chest and he can't help but lean in to kiss tony. tony smiles into the kiss and then laughs as everyone around them cheers. this is what pure happiness is, steve thinks, and rests his forehead against tony's. the song comes to a close and tony kisses him once more before tugging him towards the cake with a grin that rivals the brightness of the sun.
#can you tell i think about them every waking moment of my life#i can't help it#they're just so <33333#there's a 98% chance i make this into an actual fanfic#steve really does have a playlist by the way#it's 24+ hours long#tony listens to the entire thing at least once a week#they're so stupidly gone for each other thanks for coming to my ted talk#also their rings are each other's colors#steve's is silver with a red stripe going down the middle and gold around the sides#and tony's is silver with a red stripe going down the middle and blue around the sides#i have so many silly little thoughts about them it's insane#steve rogers#tony stark#stevetony#stony#the avengers#marvel
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thinking again about a quote from pirkei avot which states "you are not obligated to complete the work but neither are you free to abandon it" in the context of community advocacy.
"you are not obligated to complete the work but neither are you free to abandon it" says that you won't finish everything. you won't fix every injustice you see in your lifetime. in fact you'd be lucky to finish one. but that doesn't mean you don't try to fix injustice.
it says that the advocacy of our parents and grandparents and their parents and grandparents, of our predecessors in this choice to reach out a hand, to help, to try and repair something that is broken, is something that gets passed down. that an injustice you see might not be righted for months or years or decades or over a century.
it says that stories like the overturning of curtis flowers' multiple convictions on the basis of faulty testimony and racially biased juries and the choice of a white prosecutor in small-town mississippi was brought about by months and years and decades of work by dozens and hundreds of people who not only saw that injustice but saw all the injustices before it that had not been fixed, and thus knew the path they had to take to try and fix this one.
it says that small actions are what build the basis of big change.
it says that no one person is going to fix the world. but goddammit you have to try to fix things that you see in it that are unjust.
#personal thoughts#i think about curtis flowers at least once a week#it's truly the emblem of how fucked up the criminal legal system in the united states is#because it should never have happened and it should never have even come close#and yet#tzedek tzedek tirdof
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one month off uni LET'S GO!!
#first i want to complete all my notes#make detailed plans and outlines for my original pieces and work on/expand them based on my formative feedback#then i want to get a head start on any reading before the spring term#some personal goals are:#to have planned a few more chapters and arcs for my main fic as of now – and then get to writing plenty of chapters in advance#to have finished the zordon era of power rangers and then the later seasons from saban – i'm esp excited for time force and wild force#start planning and writing my contribution for the red queen valentines gift exchange (and *possibly* contribute to mareven week)#binge watching the twilight movies with my sisters because they are so funny idc idc#start watching the karate kid/cobra kai universe with my sisters#finally watch the fruits basket anime which my bestie has been recommending forever#meet up with said bestie after ages of not seeing her!#go with another bestie so we can finally dye our hair (here's to hoping we find a nice hijabi friendly salon ayee)#keep all my fasts bc they've been accumulating#experiment with my baking – i want to try my hand at an angel cake and strawberry shortcake 🍰#make lasagane soup again at least once#and go out to the cinema maybe since i've still yet to watch wicked – and i have a green gingham dress i think would be really nice to wear#I'M SO EXCITED Y'ALL DON'T KNOW#here's to being productive (Insh'A'Allah)#even if most of the things on my list are fun stuff haha#my post#thoughts
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