#i have some more wips going on for a while now
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Possessive Agatha - WIP Wednesday
Agatha Harkness x Reader
Authors note: here is a sneak peek of the possessive/jealous Agatha one shot :) The breeding kink one will be out tonight my time (15 hours ish)
Tags: possessive and jealous Agatha, red flags abound but reader is into it (more apparent in full fic), Agatha lowkey (highkey) traps you in the house
It’s hard to concentrate with her scent surrounding you but it’s something you have to contend with every time you’re around her. You have enough practice to still complete your goal, just not without thinking about her every second.
Since Agatha has yet to bind you to the bed, you think you’re were consequence, for now, until you reach the door. The handle turns but the door doesn’t open. You try to flick the lock but it doesn’t move. Frowning, you try to tug it free but it’s too small to get a good grip. It jiggles a little but remains stuck. It’s weird and annoying but nothing Agatha can’t fix…later. It’s not the best idea to go down to her lair while you still want to leave.
The thought had crossed your mind but you hadn’t genuinely believed it until the back door does the same thing. She really has locked you in. You prefer it when she throws you into bed. Huffing, you wonder if it would be too crazy to go out the window. It feels too crazy, and a bit silly. You aren’t a teenager anymore and this is technically also your house.
Instead of creeping out of a window, you creep down the stairs to her basement. While the house may equally be each other’s, Agatha’s lair is entirely her own.
She’s standing at one of her benches, going between a book and some vaguely-witchy item in her hand.
“You locked the door.”
“Did I?” Agatha asks neutrally, not bothering to look up from what she is working on.
“Yes. If you didn’t you’ll have no problem forcing it open.”
“I’m very busy, dear.”
“It’s very convenient for both doors to be stuck on the night you don’t want me to go out.”
Agatha finally turns around. “Careful,” she says in a low voice.
You swallow hard. It’s not a smart idea to push her but you’re annoyed enough to do it anyway.
“I guess I’ll just go out the window,” you jut your chin out.
Her eyes darken but she doesn’t move. You know she’s waiting to see if you actually try or if you’re all talk. It pisses you off enough to turn around. You get two steps before your arms are jerked behind your back and purple lifts you off the ground.
#birdsong writes#wip.wednesday#agatha h.#agatha all along#agatha harkness#agatha harkness x reader#agatha harkness x you#agatha x reader#Agatha x you#x reader#fanfiction
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Young zaundads wip (42)
***
"Why," Vander asks as they trudge through the old mine after curfew, "does being around you involve so much manual labour?"
He rubs at his left arm, feeling the strain of holding up a metal beam while Connol bolted it in place and then welded it together. He hadn't done it alone. Benzo and Felicia had helped with the weight and Silco passed Connol tools as he needed them. They've all been working on their little store, tucked against the wall of the crevasse.
At the moment, it's just a metal skeleton, two floors high with a ladder. Tomorrow they'll add a roof to it and then walls. And then someone's going to have to figure out how to build a staircase. And fit a door. Silco's already found some discarded tables in the junk pile, things that could be salvaged with new legs or replaced screws.
When Silco talks about it, Vander can see what he imagines. A shop with goods stored on shelves and across tables, where people can afford to buy things. The start of a future that's more than mining and the mess hall. Silco also talks about Vander running it, which Vander can't imagine working out but that discussion can wait. Especially when Silco's been… off all night.
Vander can't put his finger on it. Silco hasn't been sharp-tongued like he is when he's angry. No sly jokes and meaningful glances to signal a good mood. No getting sarcastic as they worked, rolling his eyes and calling it 'Vanderland' just to be annoying.
No, Silco's been quiet tonight, let Benzo and Connol organise what needed to be done next and how to do it. Quiet as they walk to the compound, and still quiet as they slip into the old mines, towards the bed that's waiting for them.
"Silco?" Vander asks, and Silco looks back at him, frowning in thought. "You okay?"
"I'm thinking."
"About?"
Silco keeps marching forward. "A new order of steel was delivered today for the elevator shaft. In a few hours' time, we could wear gas masks, cross the courtyard and hide in the Grey."
"Steal it?" They'd need to break into the store rooms, steal a pair of gauntlets to be able to lift that weight. No possibility of doing that without being spotted. "Where would we hide it?"
"Somewhere they wouldn't look. We could put it in the old mining tunnels."
"They'll come looking for it. They'll throw us both in Stillwater," Vander says, certain. The company protects its equipment more than it's ever cared about its workers. "What brought this on?"
"Nothing." Silco shakes his head, still walking.
"Yeah," Vander says, reaching out to grip Silco's shoulder and give it a comforting squeeze. "Because you consider crossing the company all the time."
"It would make everything so much easier." Silco stops, unlocking their door. The first thing he does is pull his boots off, and line them near the door. Then he takes his jacket off, and hangs it up. "If we're going to wear masks, it should be for our benefit."
"Not if it gets us locked up," Vander replies, hanging up his own jacket. They each get undressed. Silco wets a rag and washes his face and hands, cleaning the rest of him down before he gets into bed. Vander checks his hands but that's about it.
"They hit the Grey today," Silco says, climbing into bed and shuffling over against the wall. "Dug so deep it started seeping up through a crack in the rock."
"In the daytime?" When Silco stepped into the mess hall tonight, Vander thought something was wrong. Silco's eyes were red and bloodshot, like he'd been up all night without sleep. He should have remembered Silco's eyes red and watering, Silco gasping for breath after pushing rocks in the Grey. "What happened?"
"I had my mask with me." They both carry masks on them now. "But Trish and Eri, I had to push them up the rope ladder to get them out of there."
"Are they okay?"
Silco shrugs. "They'll live. Might not work tomorrow."
Silco keeps his arms crossed as Vander gets into bed, curled on his side, shifting away so they don't touch. Vander ignores that and wraps two arms around Silco, holding him tight. Silco takes an unsteady breath and buries his face against Vander's shoulder.
"What are they going to do?" Vander asks softly. "Will it take them long to plot a new design for the mine?"
"They're not changing it," Silco says, words rumbling against Vander's skin. "I heard them. Tests say it will be profitable, even after they buy gas masks and goggles for the miners."
It's a common nightmare in the mines: being locked out of the dorms, being trapped in the Grey. The idea of working in it is somehow worse. Waiting for a gas mask to break, the idea of being trapped so deep you might die before the elevator rattles down to you.
"They won't," Vander says, like a child wishing for an extra serving. "They can't expect us to work down there."
Silco shimmies down until he can rest his head on Vander's chest and curl an arm around his waist. He's kind enough not to disagree.
***
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Okay, seems I can't stay away haha...
But it's about the whole Tellus thing! You see, from what I've seen when interacting with the IF community, I've noticed something I like to call "first RO bias" - basically, the first RO the public meets often ends up being the fan favorite. At least when you meet that one RO and then some time passes before you meet the others, I mean (doesn't really apply when you meet them all in the same chapter or even if you meet a few in one chapter then a few later). It makes sense if you think about it, as people get to interact with that one character for a while before they meet other ROs, and since it's likely they'll have to go through one or two builds of the WIP before the other ROs even appear (possibly meaning a few months IRL), they'll start exploring the actual romance options with that character and then, even when other ROs appear, they'll just stick with them instead of going for others.
Now, why am I telling all of that since Tellus isn't a RO? That's because he clearly has romantic feelings for the MC, so even if he isn't an actual RO, the players get these same "starting romantic interactions" before even meeting the actual ROs, which sort of tricks the reptile brain into thinking "this is the one" heh. Now, Tellus himself is a sweet boy, so it makes sense he's liked to begin with! But I'm sure the phenomenon I'm talking about "stacks" with the fact he's an endearing and likeable character.
I've noticed I rarely have first RO bias, and yeah... It sort of shows? Don't get me wrong; I liked Tellus. But I felt way more bad about MC's mother, or even about the fatal beating before the main killings at the end of the demo than I felt about Tellus, as we didn't interact THAT much with him either. Not as if any of that could even come close to the dreaded chapter 10 of Viatica though. I cry every single time I re-read it.
Hello again, konoi! That’s an interesting theory, I can certainly see that happening. From an author’s standpoint, I know it’s easy to favor that first one, too. Cough Lion cough 😅 I think it also has to do with unrequited love; readers may empathize with him more due to that.
Thanks for the ask, my friend!
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part 1 of a little comic / art sequence that i've been working on! :D it's part tribute, part experimenting with brushes n colors and trying new thingz :]
| 1 | 2 | 3 | ... |
and thus continues my endless quest of spreading the carrot fics like a plague! if you've seen my art floating around you probs already figured that this au holds a very special place in my heart, forever and always!!
if you haven't heard of it, it's a fic series by @crowned-ladybug called carrot soup!! it made me wish i could speak colors and i need more people to share my struggle xd
go check it out if you're into sweet voice lore and qpr level gayness and just wanna feel warm and soft and warm (hurt/comfort my beloved) <333 there are some heavier themes cos everyone's traumatized but they're working through it! be sure to check the tags and stay safe! <3
#hlvrai#half life vr but the ai is self aware#frenrey#carrots au#<- gotta remember to tag the other ones as well#yippie im so excited to finally start sharing these with people!!!#there will be at least 5 parts in total maybe more idk#i just wanted to illustrate this little snippet of the first fic#maybe i'll draw more of these if i get another vision#i am still trying to work on the animatic so that would probs include most of my visions anyway#i think im gonna post a wip sometime soon just in case i lose interest#also i crave validation and reading people's tags and comments makes me so so so happy!!!><#btw it kinda feels nice posting something like. after a while#cos it's been quite a bit since i finished this first.. part? page? thingy#and it's nice to finally stay out of the whole instant gratification thing#please do still go crazy in the tags tho? if u want?#mkay enough rambling for today i've got things to do#like be cozy n read fanfics n drink water n stuff yk?#all the important thingz#and who knows maybe i'll even make some progress on.. whatever it is that piques my interest today#bye for now!!! take care and have a very orange day <3#art tag or whatever
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Is this fanfic friendly? I feel like an outlier.
I guess this is my sign it's time to throw together a FAQ post to link to lol.
Yes, every event for this blog is fanfic friendly :D
Though as I mentioned on my Ominous October post, for events that include multiple short stories, I encourage everyone to flex their creativity and take one of their planned short story fanfics, and at least *attempt* to turn one of them into something entirely original; rebuilding a character and story from the ground up to stand on its own two legs is no easy feat, and that is what makes it so fun!
It really gets your creative gears turning, to make an "au of an existing material" to be something entirely original, and you can be pleasantly surprised about the things you come up with!
As a few people say, its not just a matter of "filing the serial numbers off" -- you have to add in just as much *or more* as what you take out when you are turning a fanfiction into something that is original and completely divorced from its original source material / inspiration, and that is a hard, but very rewarding challenge!
Obviously, this is not a requirement (there's no hard requirements for any of the challenges, other than no cheating, including no using AI),
but if you would like an extra challenge for the short story events and you're planning on doing entirely fan-fiction, I highly recommend trying it out at least once, and seeing where it leads you--
you may find yourself pleasantly surprised by what you find down that rabbit hole!
#replies#novella november#long rambly tags to follow lol#including anti royalist / anti billionaire shit#ominous october#this is what my novella november is going to be#something that WAS a huge earth-shattering fanfic AU#but before I even got past a WIP Oneshot I'd already realized that what I was planning was going to turn canon so far on its head it would#be unrecognizable and it would be much better off and more coherent if I made it entirely original#so now it is!#not only does this involve changing every single characters name#everyone is now a completely different species other than human because thats always fun#and of course we're also tackling all the issues that had annoyed me in omega verse fics since I was like 14 and liked the#creature aspects but hated the biological essentialism and misogny / caste systems#if your fantasy people have an enforced caste system you gotta actually treat that like the horror and systemic oppression it is#not just say 'biological = right' like dude what do you think people have been saying about real women this whole time????#people literally insist women are biologically inferior to men do you really think supporting that idea is going to make you sound#progressive just because your main character is a tomboy independant woman?#also like she lost all her independence as soon as she found a man to marry so uhhhhh#what happened to being ready and willing to hit the bricks if people kept talking down to you and condescending you for being a woman????#why did you go from independant badass tomboy to fainting damsel who spends all her time worrying about failing to produce an heir#so her husband can take power#instead of just straight up telling your husband#'hey I don't want to deal with the bullshit from your father how about we do the-#- socially acceptable thing and just go off to make our own independant settlement with some of the villagers who are on your side'#like your husband would literally be escstatic about this idea of finally getting out from under his dad's tyrannical thumb#and its more like way more than half the villagers would go with you not just a handful#theyve been sick of the kings shit for years and only your husband's potential rise to rule kept them in check#cus he actually cares about the villagers and goes among them#while still clearly having some biases to work through when it comes to class and gender equality
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wip :) very very rough draft for now but i'm workin' on... a thing
(no this is not ao3. this is google docs with the ao3 font)
#enen says stuff#my writing#<- i guess#wip#hgcz#hotguycomiczine#hotguy comic zine#hgcz!impulse#smoke signal#hgcz spoilers#<- barely but just in case#hgcz impulse#hotguy comics zine#hotguy zine#okay now that you've gotten past my Distraction Tags i will reveal a secret. this is PROBABLY going to be a multishot#but i'll take a while on it because of TCGBAC. aaaaand....#this fic will center on soup group + skizz-#-with an emphasis on imp n skizz because i'm more comfortable writing them#and if you've seen my “post-hgcz thoughts” thingy... yeah that's what i'm putting in this fic.#should be fun!#for some reason i seem to have a thing for turning hero aus on their heads and making them just.trying to have a normal life in a-#-superpowered world#(*stares at the comprehensive guide to being a completely average civilian*)#WHICH BY THE WAY I HAVE LIKE 98% PLOTTED. chapter 2 is just. still fighting me
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Maaaaaaaaaaaan, come on.
(the post has ended up in the tags btw. I am not changing this and I need you to understand that it is just me talking to myself semi-publicly)
#Nevi Writes#things said by a guy writing a thing he doesn't even intend to be writing and it's like 10k of words now. >:[#while that's true I do want to emphasize that nobody should get excited about it right now tho okay#because like it's just. idk. I feel very much like it could end up not worth pursuing anyway. it's just a little baby wip.#(when the fuck did my little baby wips get to be 1/4-1/2 the length of my previous 'finished' stories!! what the hell)#it just feels nice to make words tho. and it does have that kind of 'ah good to catch up with these guys again' vibe which is nice.#even if the break has once again been like. on the order of days to a week maybe. I'm so bad at this taking a break business suddenly. lel.#but I don't have anything much to say about it at this point#other than I'm debating inventing a reason that presidential elections would have been moved by a couple of years between now and 2212#what is it with me and having to be so damn precise with dates in this whole narrative. am I just mad that Capcom never tries?#(yes) (so mad)#(and 2212 would actually be an election year is the problem. I want time to have passed but I also want there to be a pres. election.)#(it's fine don't worry about it)#(this is how I decided that Blucifer got bload up and then replaced also. weird reliance on mashing up IRL things and fictional explosions)#(but it's fun isn't it? got that veneer of verisimilitude. I'm good at long words)#idk this is inevitable isn't it. but I'm going to keep playing like it's not. I think I need a little more space for this one mentally.#the first one just sort of fell out of my head fully assembled and the second one did that also but with different vibes#though it did actually take some cutting things and adjusting things to make it work which Failure to Compile did not#Failure to Compile was bizarrely effortless until the mad editing dash. Outcome Unpredictable was WORK#fun work at least! but in hindsight it was definitely more work to make it flow properly.#the real job for the 3th if it happens is gonna be wrapping up threads without dropping new ones in bc that's such a habit of mine now
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on it boss o7
#pentadraws#art#fanart#general hospital#WIP#iiiii haven't done one of these in a long while so i might be outta practice#but i figured it'd be worth it to go back to my roots and draw some GH anthros for kicks#GH animal print AU#sasha i've drawn in full color before but cody i only ever sketched so im gonna have to come up with colors for him#also i'm like. so out of the loop on current events of the show these days i have so much catching up to do lol#one of these days i will draw more consistently. right now i'm working my way back up to it i guess
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The tiktok with the roses was straight out of Encore and when he posted that video of himself watching the sun on his birthday, that reminded me of your fic about the birthday camping trip! Clearly he's been reading thru the kh4f archive for ideas!
I had absolutely 100% forgot the camping fic was a birthday fic as well omg 😭😭
#that was always one of my favorites 🥺#but also i'm afraid to go back and read it now bc i'm afraid it won't hold up 😭😭#that's so funny tho#my relationship to writing has been so weird recently I genuinely have to remind myself of some of those fics and their details sometimes#but we're working on that 😌#also ig that fic was what 3 years ago now jfc 😭😭#anyways the similarities to pre-existing fic is always entertaining#he really is just a cheesy bitch like me 😌#but also i'm still laughing at how much shared imagery there is between the breakup video and a WIP I've had for the past 15 months lmao#like if I ever finish it and intend to share it i'm going to have to edit it bc it's going to seem incredibly derivative#omg also that q&a he did a while back with the sex on the beach rant? legit a conversation in that same WIP 😂#that's what i get for dragging my feet with writing tbh 😌#@ Ashton if you're looking for more fiction to bring to life how about the part where you have a beard in all of my fics#or what if I start writing the mountain pants back in to my fics do u think i can conjure the return of the mountain pants that way#✍🏻🪄#ask#anon#kh4f writing
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me writing emduo fics: theyre all in the same universe, this is the same techno and phil every single goddamn time. obviously.
me writing tntduo fics: why the fuck would these be the same characters?? obviously these are different universes for every fic, why would i write them any other way
#bee buzzes#anyway currently working on an emduo fic that is prob gonna be more emduo fluff#also have some plans for qsmp tntduo#im not fully caught up but i know whats happening very generally#so#thats good enough for me#ive been watching the vods while crocheting and now that neverafters ending ill have nothing else to watch while i work#i also have a sewing project i need to work on so im ready to get fully caught up#also i swear im working on my wips#the karlnapity one should be done. soon.#its just a fucking beast and im not sure where i wanna end it so it just keeps going#the one abt everyones time before the dsmp will also be updated soon#honestly i just forgot abt her and only remember when i ask myself what wips i have#as for the time travel fic. itll happen#i swear i know where im going with it its just taking a while ahaha#also i wanna fulfill some more of the times challenge prompts still#and some of the pinch hits from the void prompts#im gonna finish everything i promiseeee#oh also working on a techno-centric fic#maybe emduo maybe twinsduo maybe bedrock bros maybe just general sbi#idk yet#im just key smashing and hoping for the best lmao#anyway thats my lineup. bon appetit
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Hey, would you be cool with other people writing fics in the specific universe of tief? With Fortune Lavorre?
Hello! I just realized I had half-typed up an answer to this and completely forgot to finish it, so apologies that this is deeply, deeply overdue!
I am absolutely cool with it, with a few caveats but only of the disclaimer sort. (And that's not even to say that they're necessarily things that pertain to you, but I figured if I was commenting now I should just lay my thoughts out there, in case anyone else goes looking.)
I'm personally of the mind that transformative works of a transformative work are just as fine as the original transformative work itself, though I know that not everyone agrees. I'm not going to begrudge anyone their own personal rights for how their writing is used, but I have always felt that it would be hypocritical of me to consider it in any other way. (I'll spare you my deconstructive essay on the nature of transformative works in modern culture or I'll take another month to answer lol.)
That being said, the disclaimers! First, I will probably write more in that universe, and as such I will... probably not read other folks' dabblings in it. Not because I would be uninterested, but because I do take the author-ly point of view in that I want your works to be yours, and mine to be mine, so I don't want to find that I've inadvertently snatched up a plot from someone else without realizing. And in a similar vein, attribution of what you're riffing off of would be nice, but at the very least please don't, I don't know, claim that I've totally vetted it and it's definitely fully canon to the original work, or something of the sort. Both because of the aforementioned, I will write further things and I don't want to garner any confusion, your works are yours and mine are mine, and also because if anyone for any reason wanted to come complain to me about a fic, I'd much prefer it was indeed my fic.
(Like I said, I don't presume you need any of that noted in particular—just figured I should note it, since in general I am pretty laissez-faire when it comes to transformative works as a whole haha.)
#megs is writing#that's my new writing tag. I'm using it now. snippets and wip games and writing asks now go there cuz I got mad at my org system.#I was trying to find a redacted snippet I'd posted at some point and could not but#there was a snippet I posted at some point and noted as 'redacted' which was cuz I had removed blaise's name from it lol#but if you've seen me mention an apprentice fic it's set in the same universe. MUCH farther along but. blaise is there at times#also for the record there ARE people who have things set in the same alternate universes as stuff I've written. they know who they are.#but that's less in this category and more of like... yanno. talking to friends lol. just to be clear#and this disclaimer goes for any fic I've written but I reserve the right to change or update this note as needed.#I'm SORRY I'm a capricorn I have to cover my bases in every circumstance so I needed to add the additional disclaimer#yes I AM answering this at this given moment cuz I remembered it while searching around for ways to procrastinate. everything is fine.#I am fine! thank you for asking. the horrors of too many wips are definitely not consuming the very substance of my soul.
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this is your periodic reminder that for all the artifacts and errors and "tells" one could possibly list, the only reliable way to actually determine if an image is ai generated is to investigate the source. it is becoming increasingly common for "fake classical paintings" to circulate around curative aesthetic blogs, and everyone should be using this as an opportunity to not only exercise their investigative skills but also appreciate art more in general. you're all checking out the artists you reblog, right? 🫣
so what are some signs to look for? let's use this very good example.
what a lovely late-impressionist piece blended with evocative leyendecker-esque themes! why haven't you ever heard of this artist before? surely tumblr would be all over an artist like this. who is justin brown?
your two options from here are to do a search for the name, or a reverse image search. i prefer reverse image searching, particularly when it comes to a common name like "justin brown". so what does that net?
Immediately, without looking at any text, something is wrong: it barely exists. an actual historical piece would turn up numerous results from websites individually discussing the piece, but no such discussions are taking place. Looking at the text, though, does show the source-- and at least in this case, the creator was honest about their medium.
But let's also look at the "exact matches", in case a source doesn't make itself apparent in the initial sidebar results like this.
This section will often tell you post dates of images, and here it can be seen that the very first iteration of the image was posted 15 days ago. It did not exist online prior to that.
Seeing how long an unsourced image has been floating around is a skill applicable to more than just generative images! See a cool image of an artifact or other intriguing item with a vivid caption? Reverse search it! If all the results are paired with that caption and only go back a few months, you might just have viral facebook spam.
Sometimes generative creators are dishonest about their medium and do not tag it like in the example, so that's when establishing "jpeg provenance" becomes important. While it can be a little trickier to determine if someone is using generative images and not admitting to it if they aren't trying to pass it off as a classic, something to consider is the age of their account and the frequency with which they post. Here are some account red flags:
-Did they only start posting art after 2022, or if they did before, did their style/skill level WILDLY change? Not gradual improvement-- I'm talking amateur graphite portraits straight into complex digital renders. Everyone starts somewhere, newness is not a red flag alone; it's newness combined with existing in a vacuum away from any community.
-Do they post fully-finished paintings several times a week? -Do many of these paintings seem iterative of a similar theme or subject matter ("three well-dressed young men face each other under shade and dappled sunlight")?
-Does their style change in inconsistent ways? An artist that can swap between painting like Drew Struzan and Hokusai should be pretty well known, right? Why is no one hyping this guy?!
-Do they have social media besides the source instagram? If so, what are they posting about? Are there any WIPs? Doodles? Interactions with other artists? Gallery dates? 3am self-doubt posts? Or is it all self-promo? Crypto? Seemingly nothing art-related at all for someone pushing out 3 weekly paintings?
Basically, if it's important to you to omit this stuff when you curate, please don't just smash reblog if the source doesn't seem to be the OP themselves. Seeking out sources was important even before this became an issue, now it is more than ever.
peace n love
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Some more team captain ids! This time with the middle layer gang 👍
#keese draws#oc art#oc#lobotomy corporation#lob corp oc#featuring one of my og favorite children mason <3333#which evidently shows in her being the least of a wip among these three#I ofc did do some parker brainstorming a while back but I’ve been second guessing many of the concepts I latched onto#mostly the bloodfiend thing it just feels too like. basic I guess?#like in terms of making nuggets that aren’t fully human I just find that to be too easy and kind of boring#in terms of what I personally have fun writing to be clear#and especially as I’ve made more nuggets who have some fuckery going on with their age and/or human status the bloodfiend idea just doesn’t#grip me the same way and as such it’s made parker as they stand a less appealing character to keep working on to me#so I’ll probably play around with some other options#the main thing I wanna maintain is their general philosophy in life and basic personality#so I have plenty of options I just need to start making shit up#as for eva she’s just kind of suffered from being in too close proximity to mason since I got her#as in I hired them both literally at the same time and was instantly smitten with mason#she and her sister got massively overshadowed by mason to the point that I let said sister die while trying to complete my first dusk ordea#now tbf I Did like her and hannah (said sister) but I had already had my last near victory go to shit due to little red so I was willing to#make the sacrifice despite my general attitude of keeping my guys alive no matter what#now tbf. I Could have brought her back with a memory repository. but this was also back when I stubbornly refused to use them so.#but yeah because I adored mason and eva went from having one noteworthy dynamic to zero she didn’t get to float in my mind much#and yes I know I know her sister died and that’s a big thing for her but my joy in suffering energy was going towards mason at the time#since he was my newly appointed censored guy#but now that I’ve gotten over the mason craze and have been working on developing my guys more eva has been growing on me#particularly because of the captains she’s probably the least shitty (no one tell mason) while also being one of few ppl here who’s faced#such a devistating loss so unnecessarily#she’s genuinely trying to be a good boss and a good person all while falling apart at the seams and I think she should have some#ego corrosion going on because I think she should be psychologically tormented even more <3
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speaking of happening to manage to go away to college ft. a shakespeare theater within walking distance & not just student pricing & pwyw but a freshman course taken at/with the theater / company, fun to think about all the nonzero exposure scattered all around to Theatre that i could be interested in & engaged with & respond to the idea of theatremaking big time but i had no context for this lmao like well i assume everyone adores Rehearsal & Playing A Role & Being Backstage or In The Greenroom just doing your own thing & the Idea of more of this, so that i feel neutral/average really
like on the note of no context, started dance classes as a Thing To Do when i was all of three? four? on the basis of [older sibling doing that] b/c like how else do i choose doing something. also did that w/[older sibling is being taught playing piano] + that i like to know how to do many things, like determined speedrunning of an edutainment learn to read computer program when i was three, except playing the piano never caught on for me (it'd be fine if it got to the point a song was muscle memory but i never got the hang of oh this note written here is [whatever it is without me having to count the steps in the staff] & ah that's here [without me having to look / count the keys]) so that was a miserable half hour weekdayly requirement for years. whereas dance was alright, & for a while the performance angle could be kind of fun for rehearsal, onstage, costuming, but didn't really have Roles, & was yknow everyone doing the same part at the same time & taller people in the back if there's rows, what older students did seemed more fun, plus like an annual nyc trip some did which didn't happen by the time it was relevant to me....but when it finally kind of kicked off like oh boy pointe shoes have panache & Make Noise (i suppose ideally you're quieter with it but ideally to me, Clonk Bonk Tap. & why not) but speaking of why not, that this also involved like oh shows that have Scenes & Roles even if this is all dance w/pantomime, got solos, costumes, more acting adjacent, more rehearsing, plenty of fun to me, unforch one of the most fun shows was ballet but in less Classical form & more character styles & i had the parent who could make anything into an ego issue who decided things Ought to be Classical despite knowing i enjoyed the more character style techniques as much or more lol so that was like, oh boy an adagio claire de lune quartet? pinch me. however a few more wins in there, fun getting to do a Cats inspired facepaint leg/armwarmers character that some absolute random audience member apparently liked so much their dad was like hey your number one fan, can we get a pic. which is in fact a great basis of an interaction to me
had a damper on dance class anyways from like lord the increasing gender "i'd rather not wear fitted dance garments" problems & my left knee getting more sensitive & my just more wearied like i don't see Fun Performances down the line, i was never doing this besides as a hobby, i'm gearing up to go to college where i kind of assume i could fail asap but the idea of keeping up with dance classes too is a bit much so what if we just didn't....meanwhile a drop of Drama(tm) in middle school, but just as like cycle of elective courses four per year so very Brief & i don't think was part of 6th grade's & yknow, middle school. but it was really fun to me still, not sure what all i even learned lol & yet. & like one time it was like uhh write your own scenes / play & Writing Original Stuff has never been a thing for me & is not only unrewarding but yknow difficult like i don't know. writing Vocab Sentences in like first grade i started to get annoyed at how contrived it felt & the teacher complained the sentences were too simple like clearly the context of what the word means is there but i'm sick of making up narrative beats & character arcs that have fuckall to do with me understanding what a bleacher is, but when i decided to Theme them on a computer game i enjoyed then i could rock n roll lol....anyway so Writing Material just became throwing preexisting characters in a bin & just being silly making jokes / stringing some fun plot along w/the acquaintances in the group assigned to be making this, & then Performing it was a high time i was like i love to do fun comedic stuff & be a villain, throwback to fourth grade and doing scenes from julius caesar like yaayyy nongendered casting b/c all the roles are guys anyway & i'm technically a villain which i enjoyyy, but i'm also like i wish anyone told me anything at all about acting techniques, i don't know what i'm doing beyond [talk loud enough]....feedback on the middle school class homemade performance was that nobody really knew what was supposed to be going on while watching it lmao like well that's fine b/c i'm not interested in writing fuckall, could've stood to have feedback that Enjoying Performing Onstage even that goofaroundly wasn't just expriencing the universal baseline lol ah well. my useful personalized feedback from middle school besides that as ever it was great that i got good grades & kept my head down (reading) was the librarian saying nobody checked out rebecca but i might like it, i did have fun & it's like oh nice when there's pleasant nontransactional gestures For No Reason i.e. you didn't even have to "earn" them, i was just getting to hang out reading in the library at the end of the school day. fond memory still like ah being readily handed one of the crushed oreos & gummy worm cups at the end of some early elementary school year Just Because i was there, wasn't that moved by like figurative pats on the head for good grades or what have you when i understood the conditionality of that just fine
in college like Introducing That Shakespeare Theatre like i sure did respond to getting to be up close & personal w/some professional actors & acting & plays, great time attending....kinda was tempted to get involved in the school theatre going on w/classes or productions but at this point it was like, i don't want my parents to be involved in anything at all ideally but especially not something i do suspect i'd genuinely enjoy & care about, plus it was like uh oh there'll be all these ppl older than me with even experience doing plays in high school & stuff :/ but another real damper was being around age peers incl my roommate who still Also had theatre experience & interest much more established & would be telling me like oh you're not a tenor if you're a man or oh you're not doing xyz right that way (based on their own perspective doing a whole other activity) like i love info & tips sure but not people feeling In Charge of me or even giving the awkward biting back genuine feedback wow nice good lmao....knowing some theatre people with theatre knowledge a bit helpful like oh these are some bway shows / cast recordings from like, the '00s & on, i've heard of Some of these, i've seen some macys parade show names....still just lacking context like what the hell Is broadway, just talked about like gonna take a while like it's this location & this technical capacity based venue designation & here's further context yet. still never really Did Theatre but seemed like a fun thing of Course ppl would be interested in, but luckily some Experiencing Performances, saw live stage shows in various mediums at various levels of professionality now & then, in retrospect like oh i think i saw some bway stuff Touring a few times, i just had no idea that was a ting, nobody explained shit lmao. disinterested parents who just kind of expected you to magically Pick Things Up by virtue of existing, but also don't ambiently pick up the things i don't want you to know about, you can bet it all always worked out great....parents at least a Bit interested in theatre / specific shows / recordings was certainly handy like oh okay not everyone would happen to be exposed to some shows even thusly, sure, but again like with no context / further info or really further way to engage with that....also backing off like i ripped off my siblings' pastime when i was three re: dance classes, just b/c their doing lively musical productions in high school seems super fun like i can't Also rip them off on that one (plus even like yeah family / parental proximity & attendance like eugh....)
like that the How Do You Even Get Context like all the time i'd be amazed if stuff i read or watched that i super enjoyed was like Also something i could find in the outside world, other people who liked it, even just the ability to procure it, like wow magical b/c yknow everything is just what i experienced by myself at home w/no significant onlineness yet or way to travel anywhere else. just pouncing on proximate enough things like queer & have to go to church? hell yeah tenor harmonies time & it's always Be Quieter Be Quieter lol well everyone else step it up, there's like 5x as many sopranos with 5x the rehearsal time going over The Melody....but seriously folks. only showing up late for an online breakout popular Current Bway Musical like oh hey btw what Is any of this? & still don't much know what goes on but at least a little more than i did for sure, plus i just don't keep my finger on the pulse of fuckall, i'm not so much more likely to check out musicals for the sake of being musicals so much more than i do movies b/c they're movies, maybe a little more likely though sure lol....& i just have more of that context like ohhh yeah i did super big time like doing live performance & theatremaking stuff the ways i got to / related activities, i just figured like well me & everyone else having the exact same response i'm sure. or same with enjoying taking it in, i suppose
which nowadays it's still like bummer i Never took in any acting technique just b/c it annoys me not to have anything besides idk making it up, also bummer idk how to sing any better than [also making it up] like no technique known barely in the same way, & i just like knowing things, i'd value knowing it just for singing to myself when nobody's around & i like to do a little performing too when pertinent, e.g. more than survive in the kitchen & i'm doing the choreography lol....utterly abstract though like i love to See people acting the crap out of acting & be like oh shit damn wowww, don't Really feel like ah actor au me is just over there....not even sure like ah you can be backstage in other ways, like i do not know how lol plus likewise i just don't think it's gonna come up yknow like we'll cross bridges when we come to them, who knows in this life. but i'm having the highest time ever as Audience, not live & in person but online & lively, like oh fuck yes finally digging into the relatively nicher more specific theatre live performace acting singing musicaling stuff i'd more specifically enjoy like pointing hands to head yelling are you seeing thising getting everything that i want so i do feel like it's worked out well. maybe low level for randos acting / singing instructing just cuz i like to Know & have the Option to wrangle playing around w/effects one can engage with but in the meantime like i Have always cherished proximity & audienceship so. fr Yayyy 💖
#have other realms of Hey Nice; Everything I Would've Always Wanted just in ways i can't really like ''show anything for it'' lmao#this is fine b/c i am not like oh wow i wish my life were centered on anyone else's kneejerk assessment & judgments; if only#oh yeah & that i've drawn. i also didn't have like ah my Ambitions surrounding that; a pastime of mine for a while#see the Classical Style interference that only had to do w/one parent's tastes & feeling it was an ego thing....#i liked to draw scenes / figures for fun; again both liking to know how to do shit but also in this case it was just fun Enough for me#unlike piano....& that unlike writing like ah i can do a scene / snapshot / just the one Figure w/o wrangling a narrative#microsoft word documents where i'd have like a page & a half of zany opening scenes / fun environments & then be like well uh.#i took some Art Classes b/c of my Pursuit but like painting etc was fine but Only fine. but yknow parent like ''Fine Art(tm) Realism is#the platonic ideal of visual arts; why would anyone pursue anything else'' & i'm like i like what newspaper comics do....#wasn't until i could be more online in college like oh yeah ppl Make Fanart & Post It (a concept that amazed me prior) & now so could i....#again like never moved to do ''original'' stuff so that also just gave me grounds to Draw besides in my notebook margins during class#inspired by some online comics makers / illustrators / fanartists too like oh neat just looks at Process & Technique & Style yaayy 💖#& now eventually able to go ''oh yeah; i guess my style is sure centered around emphatic Rhythm'' like rattle me bones the wip never ends#& getting so idiosyncratic / I Can Just Draw Whatever that it's shit nobody knows what i'm talking about? the dream too really
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looking back thru old again and thinking abt how much my art and i have changed over the past few years (again)
idunno the fact that these are like. less than 3 years apart is crazy to me, yeah?
#this is a common occurance btw it keeps happening. i look at old art and go WOW its been a bit huh. wild#sorry about the fucking. awful nickname btw. first screenshot is from an old art dump groupchat vs the 2nd one being a close friend server#also a fun fact: i always change my canvas backgrounds to gray now cause its easier on the eyes while drawing! however it does make some#sketch screenshots a bit harder to see </3#anyways i think i had more to say but my mind is blanking (it is 3am) so i might just. have this here and then add followups whenever i fee#urge to post about this again (which is decently frequently)#jem.txt#jem doodles#(<- nothing new ofc. although that wip has never left discord actually so)
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Writing tips for long fics that helped me that no one asked for.
1.) Don't actually delete content from your WIP unless it is minor editing - instead cut it and put it in a secondary document. If you're omitting paragraphs of content, dialog, a whole scene you might find a better place for it later and having it readily available can really save time. Sometimes your idea was fantastic, but it just wasn't in the right spot.
2.) Stuck with wording the action? Just write the dialog then revisit it later.
3.) Stuck on the whole scene? Skip it and write the next one.
4.) Write on literally any other color than a white background. It just works. (I use black)
5.) If you have a beta, while they are beta-ing have them read your fic out loud. Yes, I know a lot of betas/writers do not have the luxury of face-timing or have the opportunity to do this due to time constraints etc but reading your fic out loud can catch some very awkward phrasing that otherwise might be missed. If you don't have a beta, you read it out loud to yourself. Throw some passion into your dialog, you might find a better way to word it if it sounds stuffy or weird.
6.) The moment you have an idea, write it down. If you don't have paper or a pen, EMAIL it to yourself or put it in a draft etc etc. I have sent myself dozens of ideas while laying down before sleep that I 10/10 forgot the next morning but had emailed them to myself and got to implement them.
7.) Remember - hits/likes/kudos/comments are not reflective of the quality of your fic or your ability to write. Most people just don't comment - even if they say they do, they don't, even if they preach all day about commenting, they don't, even if they are a very popular blog that passionately reminds people to comment - they don't comment (I know this personally). Even if your fic brought tears to their eyes and it haunted them for weeks and they printed it out and sent it to their friends they just don't comment. You just have to accept it. That being said - comment on the fic you're reading now, just do it, if you're 'shy' and that's why you don't comment the more you comment the better you'll get at it. Just do it.
8.) Remove unrealistic daily word count goals from your routine. I've seen people stress 1500 - 2000 words a day and if they don't reach that they feel like a failure and they get discouraged. This is ridiculous. Write when you can, but remove absurd goals. My average is 500 words a day in combination with a 40 hour a week job and I have written over 200k words from 2022-2023.
9.) There are dozens of ways to do an outline from precise analytical deconstruction that goes scene by scene to the minimalist bullet point list - it doesn't matter which one you use just have some sort of direction. A partial outline is better than no outline.
10.) Write for yourself, not for others. Write the fic you know no one is going to read. Write the fic that sounds ridiculous. You will be so happy you put it out in the world and there will be people who will be glad it exists.
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